Doug Loves Movies - Roxie Theater III

Episode Date: February 2, 2013

After an edition of Tweet Relief, Doug plays the audio from the opening moments of the Benson Movie Interruption of "The Notebook" at the Roxie Theater in San Francisco, CA with Matt Besser, Matt Mira, and Jonah Ray.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Loves Movies! my third Benson movie interruption at the Roxy Theater as part of SF Sketch Fest with my friends Matt Besser, Matt Myra, and Jonah Ray interrupting The Notebook. Here's my eight words or less review of The Notebook. Some memories are better off forgotten. I'll play the audio from the opening of that show at the end of this mini. State of Denver, Colorado, I'm coming to the Comedy Works downtown. Stand up with a little Leonard Maltin game with audience members at the end on Saturday, March 9th at 420, and at Douglas Movies taping on Sunday, March 10th at 420. Yeah! Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. At Blue Boars, B-L-U-E-B-O-A-R-S, tweeted, I wish Guillermo del Toro was on Twitter so I could tweet him, your mama is so dumb jokes. This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about movies.

This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. Traverse City, Michigan and surrounding area, I'm part of Winter Comedy Fest February 13th through 16th. A whole thing put together by Mr. Jeff Garland. I'll be doing a show with Todd Berry on Friday, February 15th and a show with TJ Miller on February 16th. WinterComedyFest. Miller on February 16th. WinterComedyFest.org or something like that. Rosemont, Illinois and surrounding area.

That means you, Chicago. Since I have to fly through O'Hare on my way home from Michigan, I'm going to do a Doug Loves Movies taping at 420 on Sunday, February 17th at Zaney's in Rosemont. I know I still owe Chicago proper at Doug Loves Movies taping, but this was way too convenient for me to pass up, and I booked some great guests. So come on out to Rosemont on Sunday. Celebrate President's Day weekend with the 420 show at the Rosemont Zanies and then you can go over to I Love This Place

Toby Keith or whatever it's called all of my deets and dates can be found at DouglasMovies.com now the opening moments from The Notebook Interruption in San Francisco and as always people who wouldn't pee on Ryan Gosling are a shithead.

Hey, everybody. My name's Doug, and you know the rest. Thank you so much for coming to day three of my San Francisco Sketch Fest. I did two movies last weekend. You guys are probably here for Catwoman and Anaconda, which I still think should be the name of the movie, Catwoman and Anaconda. Somebody should make that. And today we are going to watch The Notebook.

And people say to me, why did you choose The Notebook? And I say, well, because, you know, it's a film that exists. And people are aware of it. But mostly because, and as I look around the room, I believe this to be true, it's a so-called chick flick that dudes kind of like. Yeah, which I don't get. I've seen parts of it, and I'm not into it, but then again, you know, I love the movie Ice Castle, so every guy has some movie that he is okay with, and that's what the notebook is for a lot of dudes. A lot of dudes who are just gay for Ryan Gosling. That's what I'm saying.

You got over there, yes. That is why I like it. It's 114 minutes long, so it's a hall, and I believe they allow old people to speak in it, so it gets really slow in parts. And I apologize in advance for that. And I also apologize for missing out on a fantastic opportunity, because I could have shown Groundhog Day today. Because it is Groundhog Day. Yeah, I saw February 2nd in the calendar and went, the notebook. Yeah, I saw February 2nd in the calendar and went, the notebook. But I was watching Groundhog Day on cable today, on TV, and I thought, well, why would people come if they could just watch it on TV?

And also watching it, I just think that it's kind of hard to make fun of it because it's really an exceptional film. So, you know, we'll see. Maybe next year one of these shows will fall on February 2nd again. Is anybody good at knowing what day of the week next year February 2nd is going to be? Is it just going to move over a day? Is it going to be Sunday? So it'll be Super Bowl Sunday, so fuck that.

Like, Sketchfest for Super Bowl Sunday tomorrow, they're just shutting down. They're just like, forget it. We've got a comedy show in San Francisco while some game is going on. Some team, I think the Sharks are playing. All right, let's get my guests in here. As always, SF SketchFest has great people around that can come and do this. All three of these guys have interrupted

motion pictures with me in Los Angeles and one of them interrupted a motion picture with me here last year. Please welcome Jonah, Ray, Matt, Myra, and Matt Messer. So you sit over there and you sit there and you sit two seats over there.

Yeah, leave a little room between. Like when gentlemen go to the movies. Not that far. Don't sit on that guy. He works here. Why do I have a weird mic? Just sit right there. You've got the child's mic.

It's a mic for like a bass drum. So that's Jonah Ray, ladies and gentlemen. Sit down, Jonah Ray. Sorry I'm late. Yeah, you're late. You don't know how to follow instructions. Ask him why he's late. What just happened?

Why are you late? What just happened? The food I ordered showed up late. I horfed it down real fast. I wouldn't have made time because I was running and I'm really fast. Did you say you horfed it down?

It was the sound. It was the sound that happened. Onomatopoeia. I think you horfed it down. I horfed it down. In the middle of running, I threw up on a bus stop. Jesus. The only way I would do it in San Francisco, no one's going to notice.

Here's another way to go. Sorry I'm late, Doug. Can't wait to watch the notebook. Was trying my best to make it work. Also, horking sounds more like what you did on a bus stop. That's true. That's how it starts, with a hork, and then it ends in a wharf. Oh, the old wharf work.

I saw, there was, when I was here earlier, there was a guy peeing on the bus stop right out there. Yeah, he works there. Yeah. That's what he does. And lastly, though, he's the guy that's into Ryan Gosling. Yes. Sitting right behind you. Don't throw up.

Don't throw up. I'm good. He owns it, too. He just waves. Yeah. I'm into Ryan Gosling. Yes. Sitting right behind you. Don't throw up. Don't throw up. I'm good. He owns it, too. He just waves. Yeah. I'm into Ryan Gosling, yeah. He would totally pee on Ryan Gosling. Who wouldn't?

Right, guys? Me. Oh. Really? If Ryan Gosling said pee on me, you wouldn't be like, all right, it's Ryan Gosling. Might as well. No. I wouldn't.

I would, right in his mouth. I'm in here. Matt Myra is here, everybody. Let's hear it for Matt. Coming down on his day off. As we all are. Yeah. I like to be here.

I've never seen The Notebook, but I hear it's about love and a notebook. And you've never seen it either, right, Jonah? No, I've never seen it. All right. And Matt Besser's here as well. Have you ever seen it? Up until you saying chick flick, I thought it was about a stand-up going to an open mic and trying out new material. That's called sleepwalk with no movement. So, yeah, so this is a...

I don't know why you just moved closer to Matt. No, that's feedback. Oh, okay. I thought... I just thought those mics close together would be a problem. No. Looks like you guys are doing good. I'm going to sit right next to Matt. I need to be next to Matt. We're going to look like three men in love going to a matinee at 420.

Speaking of matinees at 420, who's got tickets for next Saturday for Twilight? We've sold 500 seats out of 1,400. So, yeah. So rally, you guys. Anybody who loves Twilight, it'll be great to see it on the big screen at the beautiful Castro.

Anyone who hates Twilight, it'll be great to hear what we have to say about it. I think I've leaked all the names already, but I'll say it one more time. Zach Galifianakis, Michael Ian Black, Greg Barron, and Pat Noswalt. Hey, don't leave now, you guys. These folks are pretty good, too. Come back.

Come back. We want that. We want that. We want that. I'll do some Twilight jokes. People are running back. People are running like it's... Have you seen that theater? People are running like it's World War Z. Oh my god, the CG zombies are going to get us. It looks like water.

Piles of them. Matt, you were saying earlier about Twilight. Who here saw it in the theater the first one? The first Twilight. On the first day. Exactly. No one. Just me. I was the oldest one in the theater by 30 years. And I got so angry, spoiler alert,

at some point the vampire revealed that in the light their skin looks really diamondy and pretty. And I was just in my seat going, God fucking damn it, do they not respect anything? that in the light their skin looks really diamondy and pretty. And I was just in my seat going, God fucking dammit, do they not respect anything? Is there no mythology? No word! Because that is a serious vampire rule, that they can't be outside in the daytime

pretending to go to high school and stuff. My sisters, who are weird and of the school of thought that vampires may or may be real, their big problem with Blade is that there's no such thing as a day walker. How do you kill vampires in Twilight?

By breaking up with them? I'm so sad. The only thing about them that can be broken is their hearts. Poor vampires. I've fallen in love with the whole franchise, to be honest with you, because it is insane.

Are you sad it's come to a close? It has come to a close. How many are there? There's five movies. Five of those? But part four was chopped up into two. Thank you, Harry Potter,

for fucking doing that because now Hunger Games is going to be four movies instead of three. And The Hobbit is going to be two more movies than it needs to be. If only Police Academy knew the secret. If at the end of this Hobbit it said The End forever and ever, I'd be like,

that's probably the Hobbit on film. You could probably tell the story of the Hobbit in two hours and 45 minutes, and I think you've done it. Oh, there's more? There's another six hours of this? The first two hours and 30 minutes is you not expecting the journey. That was a crazy thing. I was like, oh my god, they're actually doing this. They're doing it.

That would be funny if that title referred to the journey that somebody finds out about at the two hour and three minute mark. Does that entire movie end with Bilbo sitting down going, wow, that was quite unexpected. I think that's going to be the title of part two.

Hobbit two, that was part two. Hobbit two. That was quite unexpected. Hobbit three. Really? Hobbit four. Here we go again. Hobbit four. The most fart jokes.

I could watch for just two hours dwarves cleaning up the dishes. Yeah. I could look at each one. It was awfully mesmerizing. I just wanted it to be an animated

game so I could watch it forever alright you guys we gotta start this

movie cause you got shows to go to Matt and I have a podcast taping to

go to taping's not the right word we're going live right serious XM

right after this right after this so if you're here If you're here and you're just going to go home or in your car and be near

satellite radio and it's a call-in show. Yes, 7.30 to 8.30. Call in and ask us something. And by all means, enjoy the notebook. Now it's time for Doug And by all means, enjoy the notebook.