Doug Loves Movies - Samm Levine Vs. Graham Elwood

Episode Date: March 31, 2013

This shorty features Graham Elwood and Samm Levine playing The Leonard Maltin Game at Helium Comedy Club in Portland, OR.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Loves Movies! Saturday night, I did two stand-up shows at Helium in Portland, Oregon with Graham Elwood. Thank you to everyone who came out. Great crowds in Portland. We played the Leonard Moulton game. Graham against audience members at the end of the first show. And at the end of the second show, Sam the Ma'am Levine, a.k.a. Little Wolverine, went head-to-head against Graham on behalf of two lucky audience members with cool name tags. I'll play the audio from both at the end of this mini boner.

The reason I'm in Boston is because I'm doing a show tonight at Northeastern. It's students only, so don't worry about it. Blackman Auditorium, if you are a student, but if you're not a student, I'll be back in Boston for a show at Brighton Music Hall on Sunday, May 19th. And I'll be at Feet Hall in Providence on Saturday, May 18th. Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. At Randy Lawson, R-A-N-D-I Lawson tweeted, A good day to die hard boiled eggs.

Hashtag Easter. This has been Tweet Relief, Easter edition, tweets about eggs. On the flights from Portland to Boston, I watched parts of Lincoln and Wreck-It Ralph, and a hilarious ep of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the cast of which I would still like to get as guests on this podcast. So if you know them, still like to get as guests on this podcast. So if you know them, tell them to get in touch. And I'll be in Philly. I don't think that shows are on sale yet, but I will be back in Philly on June 22nd and 23rd doing a stand-up show at Douglas Movies

taping, both at 420. More tour dates? Okay. San Diego, April 7th. Phoenix, April 13th. Seattle, April 14th. San Francisco, April 19th. And 20! And Eugene, Oregon, April 21st. Lots of dates throughout the summer. Go to douglasmovies.com

for deets and lakes and lakes and deets. All right, enough of me yakking. Here's to Leonard Maldon Games from Helium in Portland. And have a great April Fool's Day, y'all. Hey, everybody. We're at the Helium Comedy Club for the 7.30 show on, what is the date, Graham? Saturday,

May 30th. It's great to be here. See all the May flowers. And all the other boats with the pole grills that go by.

I got thrown off by it. We had a problem in the crowd. What did you say, ma'am? I said, what if you already ate your name tag? What if you already ate your name tag? Well, I think you know what if you already ate your name tag. It's inside you, and we cannot see it anymore. So now you don't have a name tag.

You ate it. I ate it. I ate it on the'm not that show. Oh, you were here at the last show, and you brought the Rice Krispie treats with bacon in it? Yes, she did. Yes, she did? What kind of weirdo speaks of themselves?

Oh, she did it. Oh, he's gonna win today. Yeah, because the woman that brought the Rice Krispie thing seemed very nice and docile. Who's this weird bird? This is her friend. This is her friend that's now two shows into the day. And has had her four champagne cocktails. What if she ate her name tag?

What? Yeah. She's like a pro name tag? What? Yeah. She's like a pro athlete speaking in the third person. So I'm going to be the best grandma I can be tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When Doug Benson

goes out on the court, Doug Benson eats some name tag. I don't know why I'm bothered to write jokes. Just start talking and see what stupid shit comes out. Come on. Come on. Come on. Graham, pick somebody to play against. Is need a contestant. Some people brought name tags. Other people just thought it was a stand-up comedy show. Oh my god. We got a couple of good ones up front that we met after the first

show. And we just need somebody. Yes. You can scribble it on a piece of paper. Yeah, she's got one. She made one real fast. Did a guy just say, I love you, and you just threw it right back? You don't want to get to know him first? No, I'm going to put my corndog in the butt. I keep meaning to say that in my set. I call it back to corndog in the butt, and I keep forgetting. And it would fit perfect in the stuff-in-your-asshole section that I do.

It would fit in great. Alright, just squeeze it right in there. Rosebud! Yeah! Come on up here! Come on up here! Let's see. Yeah, come on up here. Come on up here. She created a Rosebud sled. And she came up, she goes, and she goes, I bought your Palm Street shirt last time I was here. It's my most favorite shirt.

But she didn't wear it tonight. And her name is Rose Lynn. Yeah, okay. So forget about the bud. I never thought I'd say this. Forget about the bud. It's just Rosalind. I'm glad she's laughing harder than anyone at that.

Because that's all. She made it out of a bed Xbox. So that's really... Portland. That's Portland. We're using recycled matches. All of our name tags are made from things that already existed.

Mine is a chicken. That seems against the grain of a whole Portland attitude that you'd kill a chicken and make it a name tag. Yeah, but it's locally grown. And my name is Charles. Doesn't make any sense. doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense.

This is the best May Day I've ever had. I can't wait to get off this sinking boat. Is this really uncomfortable for you? Yeah. You're really nervous? All right. Why don't I stand here more creepy? People hate public speaking enough as it is.

They don't need someone hovering over them being creepy. I love you, Lick-Duck. I love you, Lick-Duck. I love you, Lick-Duck. You like corn dogs? You're going to love them when I cook them. You're going to love them when I cook them. I mean, hold them.

That's what I call my butthole. My corn dog is warm. Seriously, it's on Wikipedia. Look it up. It doesn't warm it as much as it just maintains it. It's your butthole as a corn dog koozie.

Oh, Jesus. Welcome back to Two guys making a lady uncomfortable On stage Lawsuit is about to happen Okay Rosalind This is just between Rosalind. This is just between Rosalind and Graham. She gets to pick a category, and they'll duke it out, and if she wins,

she's going to get all three of those fabulous prizes. She just gestured like she was on Price is Right. This is no Plinko, though. This takes some actual skill. You get to pick between the following categories. Rosalyn, would you like Two's Company, Three's a Cloud Atlas? I almost said crowd.

Cloud Atlas, and that's a movie where someone plays multiple roles. Or would you like a category called Are We There Niet? And that's movies that are set in Russia. Or

Are you good at this or bad at this? She gave the universal symbol for homosexual. You're good at this, huh? You didn't tell me so, Amy. Oh, I loaded up a bunch of really hard categories, so I apologize. Oh, this one's not too bad. Category Jeopardy, movies with a question mark in the title. Movies with a question mark, or one of those other two things.

The first one was where an actor plays multiple characters in a movie. Yeah. Oh, you want that one. Okay. Yeah, the Cloud Atlas thing. All right. This movie is from 1996. Don't.

If you know it, don't say anything. If you don't know it, don't say anything. Don't even guess. I'm doing it. Two and a half stars from Leonard Maltin on his movie review app. He called this movie an overly self-satisfied spoof from 1986. And he also...

96! What'd I say? 96! Hang on. Hang on. It's 96. 96? Yeah, 96.

She wins if you confuse her. She wins if you confuse her. She wins if you confuse her. Oh, you heard her voice differently, I heard... She wins if you confuse her. Is she a very big fat person? What the wolf heard of a pumpkin? We haven't done that one in a while because Bane sort of took over. How about Bane saying things from there?

Put the lotion in the bucket. Oh, here is that great good wrapper. It puts on the lotion or gets the hose again. I will have to be right here. I'm sorry. Okay, so your clues are it's overly self-satisfied. Someone plays multiple roles in it. And also that it was inspired by a gum card series.

What? Yeah, the movie was inspired by a gum card series. And hang on, lady. Over, dude. 96. 96. And Leonard Liss. 96. 96. And Leonard Liss.

20 names. How many names do you think you get in, Rosalyn? 10? 10 is a, that's, you know, you cut half of them out there. That's a pretty strong bid. That's what you say, 10? Yeah. Okay, she says ten, Grant.

Uh, eight. Alright, eight. Good night. You can tell them to name it, or you can go lower. Out of twenty names in a movie that has someone playing multiple characters from 1996... Yes, he can go lower. Two and a half stars from Leonard. Name it!

Name it. Name it. This guy's just yelling, name it. Name it. Forced her into it. Are you her boyfriend? Yes. What would you tell her to do, Manos? I would tell her to have a name.

Yeah. Okay, he thinks that's the right move, too. All right. But this isn't Price is Right. You can't bully people into... One dollar! All right, Graham, here comes your ten names. Eight.

Here comes your twenty names. Barbit Schroeder, Christina Applegate, Applegate? Apple, Apple, Christina Flapplemate, yeah, Christina Applegate, Joe Don Baker. Lisa Marie.

Sylvia Sidney. Paul Winfield. Pam Greer. Jim Brown. Natalie Portman. And Lucas Haas. 1996, people played multiple characters. Someone played multiple characters. Someone played multiple characters.

People in the audience are muttering. You're dead to me. Sam Levine just said that Graham is dead to me if he doesn't get it, because Sam Levine's back there knowing the answer, like the little Wolverine that he is. He wants to come out here with his and-mat-ny-um clause. He's just so mad that I won the 12th guest of Christmas two years in a row

you are formidable but you just got took down by a little girl with a sled an adult lady with a sled gotta be 21 to get in here. Yeah, you got 10 of the 20 names, dude. What is it? Three seconds.

Sam is so upset. Naked gun, 33 and a third. Sam, let's have Sam say it into your microphone, Graham, what the title is. Motherfucking Mars Attacks! Mars Attacks, where Jack Nicholson plays multiple roles. You win, first round! There you go. Thank you!

Congratulations! Congratulations! Mars Attacks. You're not the pandemic, you're the complaint! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A or politics. Soon that's going to be the same person as the richest guy is going to be the president. Fuck that. I didn't mean to get into a social statement

at the end of at the end of our presentation. Congratulations to Rosalind for winning. For Graham Elwood. Let's hear it for Grant. You guys are so awesome. I said this on the

both shows I did last night and I'm saying it again tonight. That it's my intention to come back next year and record my 420 album taping right here in Portland, Oregon. So, we're trying to make that happen, and in the meantime, I'll see you guys real soon. Thanks a lot.

Good night. All right, Helium, it's the Late Show, Saturday night, March 30th. Easter! Easter Eve! It's Easter Eve, motherfuckers! That's when we get crazy! Easter Eve! Not Easter Steve, but it's coming through. Here, we're gonna do a countdown to Easter Eve, man. It's almost there. Oh, really? Yeah. No, it's too far away. No, Graham. Graham, we're working on this dole show.

No, Easter's Eve, you're not having it. I'm recording this. I'm recording this. Sam brought a gift in addition to Graham's CD and my T-shirt and CD. Sam included a copy of The Passion of the Christ. A DVD, not Blu--ray because you are a Jew. That's horrible. It's a horrible thing to say, but you do understand.

That's why you picked this as a prize. Yes. As a Jewish man. You thought it would be funny. And then you got somebody special to sign it. I did. I caught him over on 9th Avenue. Might have been just a long-haired guy, but go ahead.

Dude, it's Jesus Christ. I had no idea. You know, it's like 9th. There's a lot of... There's a lot of... There's a lot of JC impersonators in these parts. I don't know if you got the real one. It was good enough to sign it for you guys tonight. Yeah. He wrote,

please watch this every Easter, love you. Oh, no! Wow! It's like we have a roadie flying in with the microphone. And now Sam has nothing to say. I wanted to know what you were talking about

to your other student. I didn't want to talk about it to your other What was he talking about? I was just watching Graham turn into a sort of animatronic scary from one of those movies where a ventriloquist dummy kills people.

Kind of weird. Oh no, now he's a Are you a beast? What? Kind of weird. Oh, no, now he's the... Are you a beast? What are you doing? Okay, I don't know what's happening.

Let's come out with my new album. I don't like any of this. Please stop it. Don't pee in my drink, Graham. Sorry, sorry. What am I supposed to do? It's just sitting right there. Come on, a man doesn't pee in a man's beverage. A man respects hospitality.

Respects hospitality. You don't pee on hospitality. That's my point. So that cocktail represents hospitality? Ladies and gentlemen, here's a glass of hospitality. It's the line from a movie. Seven people got it. Troll 2. Troll 2.

Well done, sir. You don't win anything for knowing that. You win, Graham, in my respect. Yes. And that is hard to come by in the movie trivia arena. Did anybody bring name tags tonight for this final stand-up show here? Sam and Graham are each going to pick a name tag, and then they're going to play on your behalf. Thanks tonight for this final stand-up show here. Sam and Graham are each going to pick a name tag,

and then they're going to play on your behalf. We're going to have a showdown. What's that name tag way in the back, sir? Come closer. Take your pants off. Oh, now I get it. There's Lydia over there with a poster for Liar Liar. She was just trying to get our attention earlier. Wow.

Lady yelled liar at me earlier in the show. Oh, hey, buddy. That's good. Remember that? I'm a citizen. I can't take a picture. All right. Citizen James.

He's got the Citizen Kane record. Wow. This is impressive, dude. Yeah, and he changed it to Citizen James. Nice. And he even has a shinhead. Oh, okay. So if you lose, if you lose, grab. I will read that.

Wow, he's grab-crashing on it. This is so exciting. And I went with Garrett, who has created a delightful sign, which I will be retweeting. Pirate Radio. And it's a computer computer with an iPad and a podcast. It's Pirate Radio, ladies and gentlemen. It's not his words. There's a quote from Len Moulton on there.

And it says, Wet, wild, and weed-thotten! Yeah, I wasn't going to say it out loud. And it's a tribute to Len Moulton, Leonard's equal twin. Yeah, he doesn't like to be called that. It's not like you can call him Len. Okay. But when he's not around, I call him Len. It's affectionate though. You're a four star.

You never go full Wee-Tongue. That's from the movie. I don't know. It's just a reference. Like ever since I saw Django, I just throw the N word around and go, it's from a movie. That's a mystery. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don the N word around and go, it's from a movie. It's from a mystery movie.

Alright, so these guys are going to compete in one round of the Leonard Maltin game. How do we decide who gets to pick the category? That's a conundrum of... what? Sam Hugo. Oh! So typically he's expecting me to go, no, Brad Hugo, but I'll go. Sure. All right. I'm going to make it tough on you guys.

Okay. These categories are not going to be easy. Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah. Tough, tough. Would you like Sam Levine Yes.

Four Weddings and a Funeral That's Frank Sinatra movies because he had four wives and now he's dead. Or The Phantom Dennis, and that's movies where Dennis Leary is heard but not seen.

Dear God, don't do that with Sarah. Dear God. Or Wreck-It Ralph, movies, Ralph Macchio movies that were rated bomb by Leonard Maltin yeah Wreck-It Ralph yeah let's do that

it's just Karate Kids 2 through 4 he's got some other stickers in there that I would not have been surprised alright this movie that Ralph Macchio is in that Leonard Mullen called a bum. Yeah. Audience, don't yell out if you know it. It's just between these guys.

Okay. 1989. Leonard calls this movie utterly stupid. And then the last line of the review is, but this film is hopeless. Oh, utterly stupid and hopeless. Yeah, and Ralph Macchio is in it. And he lists seven names.

How many names do you think it would take you to discern the title? Sam. There's a guy in the back, what? I'm just a stoner who wanted to hear jokes. Negative two names. Oh, shit. Sam came to play. And Graham came to pay.

Because that's a tough position to be in. Shit, alright. Name that movie, Samuel. I saw this in Fierce in 1989. I believe that would be The Karate Kid Part 3 starring the aforementioned Ralph Macchio and Nuri Yuki past Morita. Yes! Sam, I hate you. And that is correct!

Ahhh! That was great! What did you win? Who was 87? The first one was 84? 84, yeah. Alright. That was ridiculous.

Are you upset that I got the Yuriyuki pepper here? I'm upset by everything that comes out of your mouth. Ah, come on, buddy. But yeah, great job. Who are you playing for again? I'm playing for Garrett. Garrett, Garrett, come get your prizes. But yeah, great job. Who are you playing for again? I'm playing for Garrett. Garrett, come get your prizes.

Get all the stuff. Graham will give you... Come out to the lobby. I'll give you a... Thank you, sir. Thank you, Jared. Come on, brother. Yeah, yeah. We've seen Garrett before.

Garrett's a good player. He's a good player. Yeah, he's actually played the game on stage. Yeah, so... That's weird. Out of all these people, that's a good player. He's a good player. Yeah, he actually played the game on stage. Yeah, so that's weird out of all these people that's who we picked.

Somebody who already had a chance. But this person, I'm going to say they're shithead here at the end, but let's just say really quickly,

thanks again, good competition, fellas. Sam Levine and Graham Elwood and yeah, this has been a fun night, I hope you guys had a good time and we will see you outside

you know, not just near the merch table, but also outside the building. There's a few more things I'm going to need from all of you. You might need some attention. You know, just some good old-fashioned advice, maybe. And as always, the governor from The Walking Dead is a shit.