Doug Loves Movies - Sara Schaefer, Sean Jordan, Dustin Ybarra and Kelly McInerney guest

Episode Date: May 9, 2018

Live from the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Sara Schaefer, Sean Jordan, Dustin Ybarra and Kelly McInerney to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. And I dare say, I don't like to tip these kind of things,

but I think this is maybe the most drunk I've been. Drunk and high before a show here in Los Angeles. I may have been more drunk or more high in a previous one, but I really went too far today. And we're coming to you once again from the UCB Franklin location in Los Angeles, California! Yeah! Franklin location in Los Angeles, California. It's Tuesday, May, you have an 8th, and I'm still writing May 7th on my checks.

May I check out your name tags? Do we have some name tags? Oh, we got name tags. We got Madimatics Fury Road. So I assume your name is Maddox. Okay. We got Mike's cousin Vinny. So are you Mike or Vinny? Mike. Oh, you're Mike.

Okay, good job. I know what this one is. The good, the mad, and the ugly. There's nobody named good or ugly, so you must be named mad. Right? Ooh, Kari?

It's pronounced Kari, but K-A-R-I, and you've got like a bloody Kari scenario. You got a canario. Holy shit, what's that stormtrooper helmet over there? It's a stone trooper?

All right, the exit's over there. All right, so we got plenty of name tags to choose from tonight. Thank you guys for bringing those. And thank you to Rosemont, Illinois, Chicago, also in Illinois, and Lexington, Kentucky. I don't know why I can't say Lexington, Kentucky. We had great shows this past weekend. And I think Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington, They might have a Doug Loves Movies in the future. The first Doug Loves Movies in Rosemont is available now for free

wherever you get your podcasts. And you can get Day 2 with Adam Burke, Jeff Tate, and Colt Cabana for $2 at DougLovesMovies.com or in the Comedy Album section of iTunes soon. Like, there's a weird delay on that, so that'll be like a week from now. Doug plugs, this Sunday, it's my annual Doug Loves Movies taping

at Comedy Works in Denver at 420. Wednesday, May 23rd, Doug Loves Movies returns to the Neptune Theater, home of Neptune's Jacuzzi in Seattle, Washington. And Sunday, May 27th, Doug Loves Movies is back at the Royal Cinema in Toronto, Canada. And the next show here

at UCB Franklin is on Tuesday, May 29th. You don't want to... I mean, this is a great lineup tonight, but that one you do not want to miss. A little insider info, a little insider trading that one you do not want to miss. A little insider info, a little insider trading. You guys do not want

to miss the May 29th show based on who I've got booked at this point. Are you ready to meet our guests for tonight? Please give it up for Sarah Schaefer, Sean Jordan, Kelly McInerney, and Dustin Ibarra. Woo!

Look at them. Look at them go. Oh, my God. They're all here. Hey. All right. Let's meet them individually, starting with first-timer Kelly McInerney is here. Hello.

Hey, were you trying to turn your microphone on? I wasn't sure if it was on. You were working the switch. Thank you for being here. Holly Weirdo on social media. Yep callum mackinney was taken on twitter actually um yeah i don't know that's i mean that's you know it's not the most unusual name so i i get it so you went with holly weirdo even though your name is not holly people do call me holly sometimes because of that sup ho's up, Holly? Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Well, you are the host of a co-host of a podcast? Yeah. Me and my friend, Jess Androsky. Yeah. And I love the premise of this podcast. Tell everybody how this podcast works. It's called IMD Weed. And we go to the movies.

Yeah. We get stoned. We smoke in my car, go to the movies, and then review the movie after with a guest. I love it. I'm in. I'm in. I'm going to do it sometime.

I heard through tweets about your podcast that you're not a big fan of Infinity War. No, I'm not. All right, shut up. Shut up. That's enough. That's all we need to know. I just love Spider-Man. No spoilers. No spoilers.

So you're all into the Tom Holland Spider-Man. Oh, 100%. And you didn't feel he was in Infinity War enough? No. He did great in it. Like, my favorites did great. But everything else was shitty. Like, after I watched Infinity War, I watched Spider-Man Homecoming again for a nice palate cleanser of just great superhero movies.

Well, I'll tell you, I do enjoy Tom Holland in that movie, but to me, the MVPs, and you guys can agree or disagree, are the Guardians and Doctor Strange. And then Thor. Nobody agrees. Nobody agrees. And then Spider-Man. I mean, you know, there's so many characters.

Like, you know, everybody's got somebody to love. I'm with you with Guardians. I like Guardians. The Guardians aspect of Infinity War really boosted it for me. I was very excited to see all of them. And then they split up the Guardians cleverly so that on two different storylines, you still have some Guardians. Sure. It's very Guardians-heavy, Infinity War.

And Dax Ruhl. And that's not a bad thing. Yeah, he's amazing. He's so funny. He's very good. All right. Well, thank you for being here. Yeah.

And let's say hello to another, you know, I've had so many guests for so many years. I lose track sometimes, but I'm pretty sure that this is the first time that we've had Sarah Schaefer on the show. Hi. Yeah. Is that true? Yes, it is true. First time ever.

Yeah. I've been a big fan for a long time. You know, your stand-up comedy and your TV shows and your podcasts. And thank you for being here for this. Thank you for having me. Appreciate it. What are you up to lately? Oh, you know, just...

You know. That's like when the relatives ask that when you go home for the holidays. What are you doing in show business now oh a bunch of things that you don't get a lot of things you don't understand my dumb relatives well i love this one it's i can't talk about it yet there's a thing you can't talk about there is one i love that but i've got so many things i can't talk about because they're not things at all yeah exactly and so i don't talk about them but holy shit it's fun to have that stuff yeah no i've been on the road i go back and forth on the road and then coming back and doing stand up here and

working on some other stuff and it's been great all right you know right on you just did a show earlier tonight right i did over at. Over at the Lubech. Bar Lubech. Yeah, it's a cute little bar. Named after the great Ernest Lubech, I assume. Sure. It's a movie reference. It's like a Russian-themed bar, which nowadays, I don't know about that.

It's perfect in the gay district. It's in the gay part of town gay Russians watching comedy that's gotta be amazing it is gotta be a perfect performance space it is it's my people alright

well thank you for being here thanks for having me Sean Jordan is here everybody god damn right look at him go with his silent finger snaps oh you can hear him kind of everybody. Goddamn right. Look at him go with his silent finger snaps. Oh, you can hear him kind of. Now you can't hear him

when I do him in the mic, but trust me. Yeah, you're doing it. Yeah, you're doing it. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. It's from growing up with all these kids in middle school

that chewed tobacco. Yeah, I didn't like it then either. I didn't, well, I wasn't thrilled about it. It was not popular. I learned how to do it. It was popular in Edison Middle School, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, 1994.

Yeah. I want to say. What's up, Sean? Nothing. Hanging out, man. Things are buck? Things are always buck. Yeah.

Okay. Bud Light on a Tuesday. What day is it? Tuesday? You sure that's not a buck light? It's a... There's no such thing as a buck light. There might be.

If you're working hard enough. If you keep pushing that word buck. Yeah, well, I can't believe people haven't... Anyone on this panel ever used buck as an adjective? No. The silent adjective. You might after tonight because, I mean, Sean's taught me how to do it. Like the other day, I put some money in a vending machine to get some Pop-Tarts.

And the Pop-Tarts fell down. And then also my entire amount of money I paid for them also came into the change. And I was like, oh, shit, that's buck. That's buck. There it is. Kind of a couple ways. Yeah. Because you get Pop-Tarts.

Yeah, I was pretty into it. And it was a dollar. Thanks for being here, dude. Thanks for having me, dude. Oh, shucks. You got applause at the beginning and the end of your segment. Of your introduction segment. Let's see if that happens for Dustin Ibarra.

Oh, man. You guys. Come on! Thank you! How's it going, dude? It's going good, man. You? Well, you know, I'm all right.

I'm just waiting on Pins and Needles to see if they make more episodes of Kevin Probably Saves the World. Oh, yeah. Starring you and our friend Jason Ritter. Yes. Hopefully they do. Thank you. That right yeah. Starring you and our friend Jason Ritter. Yes, hopefully they do. Thank you. That right there. You watched, right?

ABC television. Does anybody watch that? You're right. I heard it's popular. I heard Roseanne is on there. Roseanne. You guys, this looks like a Roseanne-loving crowd. We're in Hollywood, right?

You guys are... Okay. All right. Okay. All right. Okay. All right. I read them wrong. Yeah, but Kevin probably said, we're going to find out this week what happened.

Oh, this week? This week. This is because upfronts are next week. Get out and vote, everybody. Go. Vote for Kevin probably saves the world. Yeah. Starring our friends Dustin and Jason Ritter.

Yes. Yeah, and hopefully our friends Dustin and Jason Ritter. Yes. Yeah. And hopefully there'll be more of that. When would you go back shooting if there was more? I don't know. I've never made it this far. Oh. Yeah.

This is like, hey, we're going to the final boss. I don't know what's after this door. Well, I'll just answer for you. Sometime this summer. Okay. Okay, cool. And I'm going to be back in atlanta in august so hopefully i'll get both you guys on the show that'd be awesome that'd be great

instead i'll have to settle for whoever's alive on walking dead i made friends with some people on walking dead but they might not be alive everything was walking dead in Atlanta. That was awesome. Yeah, no, and now like Atlanta, our friends Kumail Nanjiani and, well, not really our friend, but I wish he was my friend, Dave Bautista

are shooting a buddy comedy in Atlanta this summer. Yeah, yeah. He just got hyped. That's gonna be neat,. You like it. Yeah, yeah. You just got hyped. That's going to be neat, but they wrap before the time I get there, so I can't get them on the show.

But, you know, that's how that shit works. I hope it's a remake of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. That'd be quite fun. Either one can play either one. You don't have to go with the obvious. I don't think that's what it is, but yeah, you're right. I think it's a brand new script. I think it's a fresh buddy comedy.

What's that? Like one you've never seen before. Wait, so it's not a remake of something? I don't get it. I don't think it's a remake of anything. It might be a remake of... It's the film get it. I don't think it's a remake of anything. It might be a remake of... It's the film version of Kevin Probably Saves the World.

Starring Bautista Kumail Nanjiani. There it is. Oh man, they recast me, damn it. It's a fun crowd. Let's talk prize bag, you guys. Starting with Sean Jordan. All right, let's talk. What did you bring for the bag?

I'm assuming candy. It's not from Target. No, it's from Target. The bag's from Target. Yeah, yeah. I got these new... That can't be fun on the mic. Sorry about that.

There's new Sour Patch Kids, so I brought some Sour Patch Kids. What do you mean new ones? They say fire on them. Alright, pass those down. You're crazy, right? Are you going to open them? Yeah, I'm going to open them.

There's a new type of fire patch. Fire Patch Kids. Those are called Fire Patch Kids. There's some red-headed Sour Patch Kids. It's actually a kid on fire. A Sour Patch guy with his head on fire. That's insane. Fire Patch Kids? Whoa, and it's actually a kid on fire. Like, it's the Sour Patch guy with his head's on fire. That's insane.

Yeah. Yeah, Fire Patch Kids. I'm in. All right, what else you got? A copy of Spaceballs. That's awesome. Yeah, I was wondering. I was like, is this going to get a round of applause?

So, popular Rick Moranis vehicle. If you guys remember Rick Moranis, it was a popular vehicle for Rick Moranis, who has since retired from acting, but he had popular vehicles back in the day. These Sour Patch Kids are not fiery at all. It's crazy that you won the prize bag already,

and you opened those. That you won the games that we haven't played yet, and you opened those. Everybody, everybody just pissing all over my gift. I take it back. They have a little fiery aftertaste. They got a little kick to them? It's got a little tapatio on it. Does it really?

Oh, like when they put spicy stuff on mangoes? Okay, I get it now. That's exactly what it is. My Hispanic side is loving this right now. I'm fucking eating it up. Lime. The green one tastes like limes. I've never had

a Sour Patch Kid and thought like, yeah, that should be spicy. Do you have any ranch for the Sour Patch Kid? That I could dip? I do if it's in this action figure package of Rocket and Groot. If there's a little... It's fun that we were just talking about

the Avengers, because I got a little action figure packages. I love those guys. I am Groot, right? He always says it. It's funny. So yeah, that's my prize bag. 50% of them survive Infinity War. Easy! I don't know what he's talking about. Oh, it's not time yet?

It's not time yet? Man, I barely just saw it. Not, yeah, I can't even. What do you mean you barely just saw it? Did you close one eye the whole time? I was with my Aunt Leslie and my mom, Kelly Jordan, who can't get enough of Thor, if you can believe that. Big fans of Thor and Chris Pratt.

It's weird. It's weird when you hit that age. Those guys are two good ones. Their interactions in the movie are very interesting. They're different reasons. But yeah, when they hit that age, when they're like, oh my God, there's Thor. How does she spell Kelly?

K-E-L-L-Y. Cool. Cool with a K. Just wanted to make sure. Yeah, yeah. That's the best way to spell it. Yep. That's the best way to spell Sarah is without an H.

True. Best way to spell Dustin is with an E-bar-a. That's what I hear. The best way to spell Sarah is without an H. True. The best way to spell Dustin is with an E-bar-a. That's true. Yeah. Sean is just, you know, however you want to spell it, I guess.

Is it S-C-A-N? Playboy. Goddamn right it is. Oh, when you said Playboy, I was like, I don't know what you're saying. Thank you for the fiery sour patch. I had to get Doug there.

Yep, well, you know. In Spanish, these are sour patch mijos. Fire. Y fiero, right? Fiero. I don't know. They're not sour patch pendejos? No.

Caliente. That's what it is. These caliente sour patch kids, man. Fuego, right? Fuego. Isn't that fire? Sour patch fuego? Yeah, these kids are in Fuego.

Fuego Patch. Yeah, I love eating these. My Fuego Patch. I love eating these children that are on fire. Isn't that what they call Lindsay Lohan's? Yeah. She had to go to the doctor for her Fuego Patch at one point. I tried to grow a Fuego Patch once.

It was the 90s. She was Miss Firecracker, I believe. Is that right? I don't know. Firecrotch. Firecrotch. Yeah.

Firecracker. I tried to class it up a little bit. What do you got for the prize bag, Sarah? Okay, so I got booked on this kind of last minute. Didn't have time to go home.

Yeah, that's cool. First off, I have a rock that says dream on it. What do you mean first off? That's plenty. A rock that says dream and it fits right in your hand in the way just to kill someone with it. You're waving it pretty hard over here.

It inspired me because my other gift for the goodie bag is a coupon that I made. And it says, this coupon entitles you to one free item from Sarah Schaefer's Etsy shop. So I didn't get to go home to bring the item, so you'd have to email me

and I'll send you the item. But I have an Etsy shop that has inspirational quotes on rustic pieces of driftwood in multiple fonts that's literally what it is um and then some cross stitch stuff so you get one free item from my etsy shop so that's uh yeah i love it yeah pass all that stuff down here just slide it down the table you should have thrown the rock down there yeah Yeah, that is a serious rock. Very biblical, very canine. You could dream some real shit if you get hit hard enough with this rock.

Kelly, what do you got for us? I got a bunch of stuff. I went a little crazy. So let's get into it. I got a Hot Wheels, a little green Hot Wheels guy. I got a Hot Wheels, a little green Hot Wheels guy. I got a bubble, I guess, cigar. It's kind of hard.

It's been in my apartment for a while. I just want to get rid of it. Guy's very excited about it over there. Cactus candy from Arizona. That's where all the cactus candy comes from. Do you guys think when Gamora was born, her dad got one of those green cigars that just got passed out? Excellent reference from cinema, Sean.

I'm giving it a shot, you know? Doug loves movies, I heard. They all right. When I was stoned one night, I was like, I'm going to start drawing. And so I went to Amazon and I bought a sketchbook,

but I accidentally bought a tiny one. Yeah, no reason to hang on to that. How'd you accidentally buy that? I didn't check the size. I guess they have like different sizes.

You just grabbed it and walked straight to the register holding it down? No, no, it was on Amazon. Oh, on Amazon. Sure, I should listen up. I should listen up. An American Gods koozie. I got it. South by. Also some European Union

sunglasses from South by. I'm gonna hang out with those. My old roommate still gets mail sunglasses from cell phone. I'm going to hang out with those. My old roommate still gets mail sent to us and he gets book reviews, I guess, but we open it and this is

The Odyssey of Echo Company by Doug Stanton. Not for resale. So it might be good. I heard Doug was the last man Stanton. There it is. My cousin gave me this weird romper.

Okay, you don't have to bring everything that you have. It's a lot of stuff. Dustin's feeling really inadequate after following you. I should have stopped at Walgreens. It's okay. I bought enough for all of us. I should have stopped at Walgreens. It's okay.

I bought enough for all of us. It's a romper that makes me look like a desperate housewife. And I couldn't return it. Oh, wow. That is child size. I would get so much camel toe in this. It's too short for my long body. It's a weird, like it makes everybody look weird. Rompers don't work on me. Too long. Yeah. That's a terrible way to describe your long body. It's a weird, it makes everybody look weird. Rompers don't work on me. Too long.

That's a terrible way to describe your body as a woman. As a woman to be like, I'm long. That's not good. Some dudes are into long chicks. If you want to hook up to me, you have to have a good long game.

A t-shirt that I got when I saw Hanson at South By. It just says Nearpod. I don't know. Okay, yeah, that doesn't make any sense. I hope you're at the bottom. Last one, last one. Last thing. My roommate has two copies of Garden State, which is one of my favorite movies.

I just watched it last week and I had a great cry because I'm from New Jersey. And I'm an idiot, I guess. But I love it. Your roommate had two copies of Garden State. Yeah. Oh, also here's a face mask. What?

No explanation. Cabela. Yeah, it made me burn my face the first time I had it. So it's up for grabs. You don't need to burn your face again first time i had it so it's up for you don't need it you don't need to burn your face again yeah once you did that one time do you need that bag oh i can have the bag too great it's a broken bag i'm gonna need this bag i'm sorry keep it going for all this

stuff we could all do that yeah that's a great job all right dustin A lot of stuff. This is like we got to go to Goodwill after this. Don't feel like you had to bring this much stuff. I got a T-shirt that says, I love nuggets. Why do you guys like it? It's from an old joke you've never heard. So I'm glad that it sure can stand on its own. And best Bud's hat, which i got this the other day so uh it's still got the sticker on it so there you go that's

cool you know it should be two hats where it says best on one hat and buds on the other sure oh yeah stoners don't have friends though that's the thing and then you guys smoke a cross joint together well the stoners have friends but but you can't coordinate hat wearing. That stuff. It's a little complicated. It's a lot. But that's a lot of great stuff going into the prize bag, and somebody's going to win it later tonight.

But first, I have to ask each of my guests the same question, one question that I ask all the time. How long? What size sandwich do you prefer? Foot long. Oh, I thought you just said nine inches. I was talking about my penis. I thought you were going to ask me how big my penis was.

I wasn't. That's usually what you ask us, though. Penis size? Before the show. I don't think you know. I don't think you... I think you've been too fucked up on the show before. So understand the premise. By the way, Doug is still loading up the bags.

How much stuff there is. You've got to be delicate with those En Fuego kids that are open already. Toss one down here. I didn't even get one. Slide one down like you're Sam at Cheers. Did it work? Yeah, it worked. Are you going to put the open bag in there?

You guys are bummed Whoever doesn't get that Go get a bag They're dope I brought some stuff too Doug what'd you bring? I'll tell ya You gonna let me know?

Thank you for asking Doug loves movies t-shirt Oh shit They are dope A sign that says Legion of Skanks in Los Angeles from when they were here

just recently. The whole Legion was here skanking it up. A gun that used to shoot confetti, but now it's just blanks. Well, you know, that can still be fun in its own way. That's a good noise.

How many confetti loads does one of those fit? Yeah, Peacemaker Christmas Pong. Whoa. That's sick. Makes me wish I smoked weed. That does a lot. It makes me wish I celebrated Christmas. It's made out of rubber, so it makes me wish

I took things into my asshole. Oh! Hey, hey-o. Huh? Huh? It's got a very dildo feel to it. It does. And then some Douglas movie stickers. So all that stuff is in the prize bag.

Somebody's winning all of it tonight. But first we have to just quickly go through the panel, starting with Sean Jordan. What was the last movie you saw? I finally saw Black Panther. I didn't,

I saw it after I saw Infinity War. So I thought that was going to be a bummer, but it wasn't. There wasn't too much that you needed to know. But Black Panther

was really good. You can watch him out of order, for sure. Absolutely. I don't like to, but I did. And it was really good. I loved it. Every part about it was fantastic. It's a really good you can watch them out of order for sure absolutely I don't like two but I did and it was really good I loved it

every part about it it's really good you know as much as I liked Infinity War but I gotta say Black Panther is still one of my favorites

it's one of my favorites I liked it better yeah me too yeah I thoroughly enjoyed it I watched it on an American Airlines flight which they

it's those long flights where you get the fucking TV on the seat. I don't get those a lot. I go on the short flights. I don't really go distances. So I was excited to have new releases on the flight. Yeah, it's right there in front of your face. Black Panther doesn't come out on iTunes

until tomorrow, I don't think. And I saw it on Sunday. God damn it. Oh, wow. You really go to that finger snap thing a lot. It's still in theaters, too, if you have movie pass. I don wow. You just do. You really go to that finger snap thing a lot. It's still in theaters, too, if you have like MoviePass. I don't.

I don't. It's pretty good. But MoviePass, didn't they like try to make a move to being once a week and then now they're back to daily again?

Yeah. I'll tell you what they did. It's a fishy operation that MoviePass. At the Americana in Glendale, they won't let you use your MoviePass at the fucking counter. You have to go to the movie

pass thing. So there's like 50 people in line and nobody at the It's crazy. No one's helping you figure it out. It's a bunch of old people It is. It's like a bunch of elderly people. And then you miss seats because there's like four kiosks. It's just that place though because AMC Burbank is cool. They don't do it? Yeah.

They'll take it. Yeah. Century Theater. Well this is when I learned that MoviePass is essentially a credit card. And they put the... No one explained that to me. And so it was a lot of... And when I said old people, I meant like everyone who approaches the kiosk is acting like an old person. Like saying racist shit? How do I do this?

Eating keb? Are you sure there's a Black Panther? person. How do I do this? Eating cabbage? Are you sure there's Black Panther? That'd be great. No, Grandpa, I swear he's eating something else. They just got a bag full of loose cabbage that they're eating like old people do. Feels like old people

eat cabbage. Am I wrong? I think you are. A loose bag of cabbage? Raw cabbage? Sounded like an old person thing? I know it's not crunchy enough for old people to eat in the movies and annoy me. Someone's laughing, so it worked. There was almost a fight in the movie theater the other day. Someone had their phone on and the guy in front of me yelled at the person

during it like, turn off your phone. The guy shut it off and it was very like, whoa. It gets tense. It does get tense when that shit happens I don't like it what movie was it Infinity War

oh yeah and it was like it was like dude he wasn't bothering anyone then I wanted to be like leave him alone who said that

just stay quiet Dustin we do not approve of anyone looking at their phone for any reason during the movies not one bit do we police it just get up and go out

into the hallway if you have to get on your phone. Do you say, though, get off your phone? What if the guy's got a knife? Yeah, yeah. I say put down that knife and get off your phone. Excuse me, sir.

Put down that knife and your phone. I don't care for either of those things. It's an infinity war. Yeah. What was the last movie you saw, Sarah? I saw Tully the other night. You did with Charlize Theron. Oh my goodness. Yeah. I loved it. I loved

it. I did not pronounce that right. Charlize. Yeah. It was really good. You liked it? I cried a lot at the end and was out in the lobby and looked at my boyfriend and was like, do I have makeup on my face? And he just burst out laughing because it was just like streaks and then someone i knew walked up and i was like can i go to the bathroom first before we have an interaction in the lobby of this movie theater

and get all the makeup off my face but um she had it on her face too because she saw tully as well and she too cried everybody sees Tully gets a fucking nightmare face bring a bring a Neutrogena makeup wipe with you okay so you can get that mascara off your face after I did not I cry very easily I didn't know it was that emotional I don't want to give anything away but the ending is emotional

and it's a really good movie all right feels like the sequel to young adult in a way sure you know same actress same director yeah yeah but you know different character but yeah sure all right kelly i saw i feel pretty the other day you did it was okay i liked it better than train wreck but it was fine whoa that's interesting i like train wreck better yeah i don't know i just i liked i guess i like the other people like i thought michelle williams was really fun sure um and to sheer

but it was just i don't like the whole premise like i don't know i just wish women would stop hating their self themselves in movies uh i don't know sorry she loved bring it down. That's the premise. She loves herself because she's an idiot. She hit her head. She hit her head. She's just dumb. That's why she likes herself. I also didn't like that she broke a spin bike.

You're not that big. Yeah, she's not giant enough to break an exercise machine. But, you know, she puts the effort in. Michelle Williams is good, though. Our friend Rory Scoville is very funny. Rory is good, yeah.

The humor in it is actually kind of subtle. It's not that over the top, but it's also a movie where a woman you know thinks she's pretty because she hit her head really hard you know so it's just sort of it was it's really wacky premise but then a kind of subtle execution of it yeah it was too on the nose too because she's watching big and then she hits her head no she's watching big and actually goes to the fucking abandoned amusement park and tries to get Zoltar

to make her pretty. And then the next day hits her head. Why not just not bother with the Zoltar and just hit your fucking head? Wake up pretty. Yep, yep.

He woke up big. He woke up in his bed big, right? Yeah. So she should have woke up. She was hoping she would wake up pretty, but no, didn't work out had to smash her skull

against something had to have a brain drop and then oh shit I'm so pretty and then people bought into how pretty she was and then

but then of course she hits her spoiler don't you dare she hits her head again god damn it I was gonna watch that oh sorry Dustin I haven't seen it yet you think you

gotta read on a movie and then i feel bad because rory's a friend of mine i haven't seen it yet and there's other friends of mine in the movie oh yeah our friend uh nicky glazer plays a hot model bitch yeah she does it very well she does it very well yeah it's good. The premise, again, I haven't seen it yet, but the premise reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Teen Witch,

where she wants to be popular and then she gets magical powers and at the end, she realizes she didn't need the necklace. You know what I mean? But I don't know. There's not any

like rapping guys in it. It's less fun for sure. Right. Okay, so there's no rap scene? Yeah. Oh, I'm not But I don't know. There's not any like like rapping guys in it. It's less fun for sure. Right. Okay. So there's no rap scene? Yeah. Oh, I'm not going to go see that. And they call it a movie?

They call that a movie without a rap scene. I don't really get that. No thanks. I'm trying to stop. Not for me. Take that. Was it?

Top that. Top that. Yeah. Top that. Dustin? Yes. Can you follow what's happening yes

I had to sit here and listen to y'all talk about Infinity War okay so I'll talk about Top That well the thing about Infinity War is I can talk about it endlessly because Infinity Dustin what was the last movie you saw

I saw Downsizing that was the last movie you saw yeah I swear Downsizing. That was the last movie you saw. Yeah, I swear. You saw that and then decided to stop watching movies. Forever. I liked it a lot. It just came out. You did?

I did. Why? I just thought it was fun. I didn't like it. Okay, man. This is, but this might, okay. There's so much. Get in.

Dive in. You deal with tiny people. There's so much they could in. Dive in. You deal with tiny people. There's so much they could have fucking done. First off, there's no scene where like a big person is attacking a tiny person. Well, they're so tiny. Remember the city? I thought when I saw the city, I'm like, oh, I can't wait till a big person gets loose. Fuck it.

Hey, Matt Damon and picks up the car and looks at him through the window. They missed a real opportunity for all those little people to be crushed there was no yeah there was nothing like that there were at the end it was like there was no real enemy poverty was like the enemy and then you watch it and you're like okay tiny people I gotta be tiny now plot twists were the enemy

of that movie because they decided to do some that were completely uninteresting it's it was sold like a comedy and it's not a comedy really at all when he was on the river floating you know uh uh someone could have jumped in and ah tidal wave you know something like that could have happened there no no, just, hey, what's going on with the economics in our fucking tiny-ass universe? It's like, well, I don't know. Like, let's go help some people over here, you know?

It's like, all right. Let's get some fucking tiny airplanes, you know? Shoot a tiny missile at a big guy. Let's make this happen, you know? That's what you paid to see, tiny people. All right, friends of the ants. you paid to see. Tiny people. I paid. Friends of the ants. I paid to see a tiny person interacting with a saltine, regular saltine cracker. Yeah.

You want to see shit like that, right? I love that. No, no, no. Like, I liked the movie. It was too long, and I have other problems with it. It doesn't sound like it. I loved any time they showed a tiny person interacting with a large object. That giant bottle of vodka just said that?

Oh, I loved it. I love it. Honey, I Shrunk the Kid is one of my favorite movies. I was such a fat kid. The only thing I remember, that oatmeal pie scene. Remember that? Oh, my God. As a fat kid, I was like, oh, if I were small,

I could have so much of this. You see things differently as a fat kid well Dustin you can have so much of this because this is the part of the show where I say turn it off Bert let the games begin we're gonna play some games but first we have to pick some name tags people brought a bunch of name tags. You guys have to go out into the audience and decide who you'd like to play on behalf of and bring it back to your seat.

And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be back after these words about addiction. Support for today's show comes from American Addiction Centers, AAC. Sometimes it's hard to ask for help. Addiction is a nationwide problem that can affect anyone. And there's no easy fix. Recovery isn't one size fits all.

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Here we go. That was a very pleasant name tag choosing experience. The audience was super mellow. Who'd you pick, Sean? Austin Translation. Oh, that's a good one. It's a fun one. It's got a ripoff of somebody else did Austin Translation in another city.

And I think this person figured out they could do that. Yeah, but it's still good. Is it my face instead of Bill Murray? No, it's not. It's just Bill Murray. Yeah, fuck this guy. That last one was good too though.

What? I didn't know that one was Bill Murray but that one got messed up. Oh, okay. Alright? I didn't know that one was Bill Murray, but that one got messed up. Oh, okay. All right. All right. You didn't know that Bill Murray... All right.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on. Austin Translation, huh? Know what I mean? I don't know how the name Austin fits into another Bill Murray title, but I'll take his word for it. Who are you playing for, Sarah? Is it Kari or Kari? It's Kari.

Kari. Like the... Don't take Kari. Kari. Like the don't take Kari to the prom. Why are you speaking to me like I'm dumb for not knowing K-A-R-I? No, because I made the same mistake earlier. Oh. And I apologize. You're not dumb at all. I wasn't out here. You're just my equal.

And but it's a very cute poster because she drew it and it's like take, you know, Carrie at the prom, you know, she's all bloody and fiery. Fire, fire kids.

But she's cuter than, she's got cute eyeballs. And I love the sweater she's currently wearing. The whole thing is adorable. So good job, Carrie. And good luck getting people to pronounce K-A-R-I-C-H-A-R-Y. Sorry.

Sari. Nobody's impulse is to say that's Carrie, but she insists that it is. Who are you playing for, Kelly? Stephen Wars? It's pretty cool. Do I get to keep this Super Trooper? I bet not.

I bet he wants it back. And it's not a Super Trooper, it's a Storm Trooper. I never would have caught it. That's like when your mom steps on it. Get your super troopers out of here. I never would have caught that. That would have made it right past me. It's got a joint, though, and I'm definitely keeping that.

It's got a big old joint. Is it something you can actually light? It looks fake. I don't know. Take the cap off. The red part. This? Pop off the cap.

Sounds fake. Look at that. Oh, there we go. There's the money. Yeah, there it is. So it's a realer looking joint wrapped in a fake looking joint. Yeah, I get it. Is what I got out of that. I want to put it on, but if I can't keep it.

Throw it on. You can keep it if you put it on. Can you hear me still? Yeah. Can we hear you put it on. Can you hear me still? Can we hear you? Say something. Can you hear me? No. I was asking, can you hear me? That's tight. That's pretty cool. Stephen Wars.

Thank you. It doesn't have a shithead, though. I don't think. We'll get into that later. Guess who the shithead is, my friend. We'll check back with you if Kelly loses, but my money'll get into that later. Guess who the shithead is, my friend. We'll check back with you if Kelly loses, but my money's on her to win.

Hey! I haven't placed any money on it. Dustin? Yes, I got, is it Nico or Nico? Nico Libre. It's a Nacho Libre. He's got me on

Jack Black's Face Fat Wrestler body Let me see it Let's get it down here It looks pretty good And there was

Reese's and Twix Attached too Yeah That's what they eat To keep in shape When they're in the Yeah They're better posters

When they're Lucha Libre Yeah They're better ones But the Reese's and Twix I could have went for the joint But I was like, ah, dusty. Just get the fucking Reese's

and Twix, man. I didn't see the Reese's and Twix until after, and that's a good choice, too, though. I saw them since we started the show. I clocked that shit. It's kind of transfixed. Alright, well, let's start with a game called Live I clocked that shit. It's kind of transfixed. All right. Well, let's start with a game called Live, Die, Repeat.

I'm going to say the title of a movie. First person on this panel, not anybody in the audience, just on the panel, to repeat back to me the title completely incorrectly will be the winner of this game. Sean loves this game. Completely incorrectly? It's just so fun. Completely incorrectly.

The whole title but also the right title. Are you guys ready? Yeah. All right, here we go. No. Oh, my God. Quackser.

Fortune. Has. A. Cousin. What? has a cousin in the Bronx. My cousin Vinny? Wait.

Just repeat back what I just said. Waxer Fortune has a cousin in the Bronx. Sean is our winner. Oh my God. Wait. I just haven't heard those words before. From 1970

starring the great Gene Wilder. I don't know if he played Quackster or the cousin or none of those things. I've never seen the movie. But if you tweet I don't know if he played Quaxer or The Cousin or none of those things. Quaxer Fortune. I've never seen the movie. But if you go on Google and say worst movie titles ever, it's right up there. Quaxer Fortune has a cousin in the Bronx.

So Sean won that game. So that means Sean gets to go first in our next game, which is called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? Oh, sure. I'll say a tagline from a motion picture to Sean, and then he will try to guess what movie it's from.

If he fails, then we'll go to Sarah and then to Kelly and then to Dustin, and everybody will get a crack at it. But if he gets it right, he gets the point. Sean, what movie has the tagline,

change everything without doing anything? I apologize. Change everything without changing anything. Oh, well, yeah. No, I don't. Yes, of course. Change everything without changing anything. What do you think that is?

It's got to be Terminator 2. It doesn't have to be. Because it isn't. Sarah? I guess I gave it away. I believe it's I Feel Pretty. That is right. I Feel Pretty. We were just talking about it.

Did you just look that up? Did you have that before? What do you mean did I have it before? I guess it's your goddamn games. You can make them. Do what you want. I should have got it. All right, so Sarah gets that one.

We'll start with Kelly on this next one. What movie has the tagline, One man saw it coming. One man saw it coming. That's not the right read. One man saw it coming. I want to say Final Destination, but I feel like that's not. Yeah, there's not really any men in that movie.

He's not a man. It's Devin Sawa. That's one of those teen movies. One man saw it coming. I don't know. I mean, it should be the Nostradamus story Is it like I can't ask questions I don't know

I'm just going to say Final Destination And just take the loss It's not really a loss Yeah that was a good guess That was fun Dustin Can you repeat it one more time Doug It's not really a loss Yeah that was a good guess That was fun Dustin Can you repeat it one more time Doug One man saw it coming

Ah yes Boogie nights But nights with a K Sean the K. Sean. Just trying to think of movies that we said earlier. Black Panther. It doesn't have to be movies we said earlier. I don't know, so I'm going to say Black Panther because I said that earlier.

Sarah. The Big Short. Oh, that's that wouldn't be a bad tagline for that movie. But that's from wouldn't be a bad Tagline for that movie But that's from the movie I, Robot I mean Oh man, I should have known that

Yeah, that one guy Will Smith was like Oh shit, these robots Are going to be a problem Alright, so Where did we start that last round? Was Sean? No, Sarah started

Or Kelly started that one. Kelly started it. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Kelly, let's start with you again. What movie has the tagline, an existential comedy? An existential comedy. Yeah, I know.

Seems like there should be more. Downsizing? I bet you if there were more, it might have been a bigger hit. Dustin? An existential comedy. Is it like Days and Confuses? It's not that. No, that's like...

That's not a bad... Is that your guess? Is it my guess, Doug? I don't know, man. I'm going to say Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Okay, so you don't

want to say Days of Confused? I mean... You want to move to this other... You don't want to... Which one do you want? I'll stick with

Bill and Ted. The wrong one. Okay, that's wrong. Is it Days and Confused? No. It's right there. I wanted it to be so bad. Oh my God, that's like putting a dollar on my prices, right?

I really wanted it to be that. Sarah? I don't know. Being There? Why? That's a great movie, and it is sort of existential. It's a great movie. It's existential.

Not a terrible guess, but the correct answer is I Heart Huckabees. It's always that. Yeah, yeah. Well, they tried too hard. So far, we have I Feel Pretty, I Robot, and I Heart Huckabees. Good luck on this next round, everybody. All right. Starting with Kelly.

I hate going first. Kelly, the tagline is, this is not a game. I. It's clearly a movie. So what a dumb tagline Definitely starts with I Wait this is not a game? Not without a question mark though at the end

Without a question There's no question mark This is not a game It's just straight up a statement This is not a game I I It's just straight up a statement. This is not a game. I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I...

I... I... I... I... Can't be don't play games. That ruins the tagline. I love New York. Dustin, what do you think? I love New York. Battleship. Oh. Is it Battleship? I like the way you play. Not a fucking game.

She was really restricted by that I thing, and you did not care about it at all. When I heard game, I'm like, my mind went to, okay, games, movies, and then it was like a computer program. It just started siphoning through each movie. Sean?

Is it Jumanji? No. Nobody got the fucking joke that we were doing the game thing. Dustin did. You should have said Jumanji. I. Jumanji.

Sarah? Oh, God. I. I feel like that I was organic. I can't even think of another movie that starts with I. I don't know. I don't know who's told anybody that all the movies start with I. I don't know. I don't know who's told anybody

that all the movies start with I. You did. You impolite it. Oh. What did I do? Make a joke? Was that a joke? I Claudius or something like

that. I don't know. No. It's AI., artificial intelligence. Oh, you son of a bitch. That was the tagline for that movie? Yeah, it wasn't a game. That was a terrible... It was a boring-ass sad movie. It's about Roma.

It definitely wasn't a game. Yeah. Ending. Kelly, here's the next one for you. Might start with I. What. Ending. Kelly, here's the next one for you. Oh, great. Might start with I. What movie has the tagline more than your eyes have ever seen,

more than your heart has ever known? Oh. I. The I? No. Justin? It's more than your eyes have ever seen,

more than your heart has ever known. Oh, man. Oh, no. Oh. These eyes are for you. Bison. What? Bison. You're going to have to spell that poster for me. bison what bison

you're gonna have to spell that poster for me that james bond movie these eyes are only for fucking spies and these eyes are only for spies these eyes are only these eyes are made for fucking no no that's incorrect for Spice. These eyes are made for fucking. No, no. That's incorrect. Sean? Battleship. It's got to be Battleship.

No, and I heard somebody in the audience talking over there with an answer and please don't do that. Sarah? Well, I have a decision to make.

It's more than your eyes have ever seen and more than your heart has ever known. Okay, well, I'm just going to say it. Okay. P.S. I love you? No. Shit. Is that the next one?

That was a great guess. Yeah, hell yeah. That was the tagline for a movie called The King and I. Ah, yes. Yeah. Ah, yes. Yeah. Ah, yes. Kelly?

Yep. I see a theme. Somebody's going to get one of those. Espionage with attitude. No. I might know it. The Spy? What? It can't be. With Melissa McCarthy? Yeah. No. I might know it. The Spy? What?

It can't be. With Melissa McCarthy? Yeah. Nope. That's a good... Dustin? The Golden Eye. No.

Is it I Spy? That is right! Yes. I saw that in the theater. I love that movie. All right, so Sarah and Sean have both answered one correctly. Goddamn right we have. Yeah.

So this last one, we're going to start with Sarah and then go to Sean. And whichever one of the two of you gets it right will win this game. Okay. We're going to play one more game, so it doesn't really matter. Okay. Starting with Sarah When the world is the target And the threat is real You can still

Depend On one man When the world is the target And the threat is real You can still depend on one man. What do you think that is? Oh, man. Someone's sitting in traffic right now listening to this.

You can still depend on one man. I mean... Shout out to people in traffic. What's up? What's up, traffic? It still depends on one man. I mean... Shout out to people in traffic. What's up? What's up, traffic? Waze, blah, blah, blah. I don't. I don't. Nothing.

Superman. Sean's got the answer. Well, now I'm going to look like a chump if I don't. Is it Iron Man? No. Oh, jeez. Are we just going until we get it?

Somebody said it. Golden Eye. What'd you say? Golden Eye. Yes, that's it. Golden Eye. All right. Sarah gets to go first in our final game this evening.

It's called Last Man Stanton. Woo! It'll go Sarah, then Sean, then me, because I like to play along, and then Dustin and Kelly. And you've got to name movies that whatever person we get from the audience is in until you can't think of one, but each of you get one lifeline, which is the person whose name tag you chose. Austin Translation.

Where is DrewP305? Right here. Right on. How are you doing? And your name is Drew? Andrew. Andrew, okay. Yeah, that's smart.

Simplify it for Twitter. What do you do, Andrew? I am an actor. You're an actor? But I work at a KU Med Center in Kansas City. I'd go with that one first. You're an actor, but you work in Kansas City? That's why I work there, because I'm an out-of-work actor. Oh, out-of-work actor. All right. You're an actor, but you work in Kansas City? It's a far commute.

That's why I work there, because I'm an out-of-work actor. Oh, out-of-work actor. All right. Well, you know, continued. Not continued, because you're not. Seems like you're not working, but. I may be there next week. Future good luck. Let's get together.

What? You're going to Kansas City? No, out-of-work actor. Oh. I'll see you there. Out of Work Actorville. Andrew, what's your suggestion for Last Man Standing? Cameron Diaz. Cameron Diaz.

Let's look at the panel. Does everybody feel comfortable with the films of Cameron Diaz? I think so. All right, so I don't have to go to my backup. We're going to just play straight up Cameron Diaz, starting with Sarah. What do you got? The Holiday.

Oh, wow. I would have saved that one. Well, I don't know how to do this. I know. I'm trying to think of the easy ones, but I can't think of any easy ones. That one was very easy for me. Why, y'all don't know that?

Came right into your head. That was one of any easy ones. That one was very easy for me. Why, y'all don't know that? Came right into your head. I mean, all of us Jude Law files. That movie is porn for me. Think of that movie. Sean, Cameron Diaz. The Sweetest Thing. Okay.

I'm going to go with Charlie's Angles. I'm going to go with Charlie's Angles. I'm going to go with Charlie's Angles Full Throttle. Yeah, you did it. You did it. You know what you're doing. Kelly?

Shrek. Yeah. She's in fucking Shrek. Well, that alcohol I talked about earlier Is finally kicking in She's fucking in it Whatever bro Come on man

Sarah Vanilla Sky Yeah right She's all like Your face is gross Sean Shrek the third Oh

I like the way you skip around. Well, somebody was supposed to. Yeah. I'm not going to mess with that shit. Instead, I'm going to say... What are you going to say? I'm going to say... Gangs of New York. Dog! That was one I probably Would have saved

Oh shit Okay Alright I'm gonna say The Mask Oh yeah First Her first film I believe

Really? Her motion picture debut I remember everyone was like Damn she was good You see that girl in the mask I'm like bro yeah Yeah Did I?

Yeah. My mom took me to the matinee. Watch this. Okay, I don't need to know this creepy mom shit. So awesome. Shrek's forever after. Oh, nice. Sure, sure.

I'm a big Shrek head. Puss in boots for life. You're a Shrek-y? You're a Shrek-y? Shrek's in effect. Shout out to my mom. She loves Shrek. But probably doesn't listen to this podcast.

Sarah? I am struggling. Okay. You can go to your lifeline. You have a lifeline? You can go to Carrie. See what she's got. She goes being John Malkovich.

Yes. Deep. Nice. Thank you. Very good. Sean. Bad teacher? What?

Yeah. Bad teacher? Yeah. That's a good one, one dude get a deep cut on you all right something in the chamber i'm gonna just say it because it's uh we're many titles in sarah just got so stoked oh shit we're many titles in and no one has said there's something about Mary. That wasn't... No one said Shrek. Justin.

No one said Shrek 2, right? Right. No one did. That's right. All right. Yeah, we're in this together, buddy. Yeah, Shrek 2 is like that one. There's no subtitle.

It's just very simple, straightforward. Good job. Yeah. What to expect when you're expecting? Oh no. I mean yeah. I wasn't sure. She might not be in that? No I think she's in it. Okay.

I got a good one. Okay so the title might be off. Oh shit. That's going to matter. But if I describe the movie after misnaming it. No, you got to get the title right. Is the movie called Very Bad Things? Yes.

And is she in that? Right? She's in that? Right? She's in it, right? Yeah, I don't know if she's in it, but it sounds like people think she is. She's definitely in it. All right. Yes.

She's married to Favreau. Yeah, it's fucking hilarious. Oh, you love it? It's fucking crazy. You've never seen it? You know it's got Jeremy Piven in it, right? Christian Slater, Jeremy Piven. Or is Jeremy Piven?

Yeah, they do very bad things. Is he a creep? Are they creeps? I don't know. In her shoes. Oh, in her shoes. Oh, In Her Shoes. That is not a movie I would expect you to know. It's a deep cut, Playboy.

Yeah. Okay. I'm going to have to go with Any Given Sunday. The story of ice cream treats. It's Pagniacci. Miss Pagniacci. Was it my best friend's wedding? Yeah, buddy.

Hell yeah. Big memory. She was the best friend. My BF's wedding. She wasn't the best friend. She was the one getting married. I thought Julia Roberts was the best friend. My BF's wedding. She wasn't the best friend. She was the one She was the one getting married. Julia Roberts was the best friend

who was like, fuck this shit up. She was the main character. I'm Julia Roberts. So I took it as it's my best friend's wedding and I'm going to the wedding of Julia Roberts.

No, her best friend was a man. Why would you say that your wedding is your best friend's wedding? She's the one getting married. Everybody chill. Everybody, let's chill out.

This has gotten, it's gotten too heated. You know? Let's just relax for a moment. Take a chill pill. All right, Kelly. As it were. Man, I want to say Valentine's Day, but I'm not sure. Oh, who in the audience dares to defy me

with your bullshit? I will tell them if they're right or wrong. You will shut the fuck up. Valentine's Day? Sure. I think I might be out. I don't know anymore.

Well, you did a great job. Thank you, guys. Did you use your lifeline? I did already. Sean? Austin, what do you got, Playboy? Does she pop up in Puss in Boots? Does she pop up in Puss in Boots? I'm going to correct Austin's translation on the title.

I'm going to correct him on the title. It's not actually, the full title is not Does She Pop Up in Puss in Boots. But I guess I will go with Puss in Boots. Because Fiona's in Puss in Boots? I don't think there's any reason for her to be. I don't think she is. You're going to go with your lifeline? Yeah.

Sorry. I'm not buying it. You know what she was in, though? Tell me, Doug. She was in Blanny, the black Annie. It's not called that. It's called Annie. I'll say Annie. If you need me to be more specific.

I was looking for it. Blanny. That's what I call it, Blanny. I'm going to go see Blanny, Mom. I think even the trades call it Blanny. It was a blocks office explosion. A bach buster. What do you got there?

I got to reach out to my lifeline. Lifeline time. What's up, man? What do you got, Nick? Night and day. Night and day with Tom Cruise. Yeah. Good job.

Do you agree? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Good job. Do you agree? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Fuck it. Fuck it. All right, let's do it. I'm with you.

That's right, right? Yeah. Kelly? I also have to. Steven? Let's go, Steven. All I have is Night and Day. Oh.

That's a prequel. That's all any of us have is Night and Day. We're just living our lives. New Year's Eve. No. That's a good guess, though. That's a very good guess. One of those ensemble romantic comedy casts.

Why not? All right, Sean. I can go again? What, you're out? No, no. Okay, he's out. I'm not out. It's just me and Dustin? Are you playing? You're out? Yeah, I'm playing. What, you're out? No, no. Okay, he's out. I'm not out. It's just me and Dustin?

Are you playing? Are you munching? Yeah, I'm playing. Who are you playing for? Nobody. That's bullshit, man. I'm playing for myself. You're just going to take the prizes home, you selfish bastard.

I'll walk out with all this shit. I already took the yellow glasses. Those were awesome. Oh, man. And you took the Fuego kids. Don't forget about those. You put them back. I put them in there.

Yeah, I just ate a few and put them in there, which is what everybody wants from a bag of candy. What a gentleman. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to go with a movie that I'm obsessed with, and I held it in my back pocket until now. It's a crazy-ass movie called...

Audition. No, I'm just kidding. What are you... I'm just kidding. You're out. It's called My Sister's No, I'm just kidding. Why are you? I'm just kidding. You're out. It's called My Sister's Keeper. Yes. Oh.

Yeah. If you ever get a chance to see that movie, it's messed up. Isn't her daughter of cancer? You will cry. Her daughter has cancer. She wants her other daughter

to constantly undergo treatments to help the one daughter survive the cancer, and the daughter that is undergoing the treatments sues the family saying, fuck that, I just want to live my life. I don't need to save my sister. It's messed up. All right.

Yeah, you got to see it. Alec Baldwin. Wow. She's married to Alec Baldwin? Yeah, she's married to Alec Baldwin. She's 13. She's married to Alec Baldwin? Yeah, she's married to Alec Baldwin. She's 13. She's married to Alec Baldwin. So it's a documentary.

Do you have anything, Dustin, the films of Cameron Diaz? I think we've really... I think she quit. We've really exhausted all the stuff she's been in. I feel like we could knock one more out of that. There's got to be one more.

One more out of that Cameron Diaz pinata. One more piece of candy. What is it? Everybody quiet? Come on. Yeah, let's all be quiet. Everyone's got one in their head. If Heavy Breathing was the movie that she was in,

sounds like the title is Heavy Breathing. She must have been the voice in some cartoon or something. She was in four Shreks that's true we did name all of those defensive driving video I can name or something that Shrek some kind of Shrek hey welcome to Southwest Air welcome it was your first time flying American airline um Dustin let me just give you some good news. While you're working through this. You're our winner. You did it.

You lasted the longest. Oh, my God. I lasted the longest. That's one thing I can do. I can just sit there. Yeah, Nick, come get your prizes, dude. Congratulations. I'm taking this Twix. There you go, man.

That's all. There you go. And yeah, just pass it. I don't need Nick's anymore because he won. Do you want those Reese's though? I'll take their fucking Reese's. Are you kidding me? Take that shit.

There you go, Nick. There's your name tag if you want it back. If you're interested in that sort of thing. And yeah, congratulations, Dustin. You did it. Do you want to promote anything? Yeah. Do you want to promote anything? Yeah. Do I plug anything?

Promote yourself. Plug something. Watch Kevin probably saves the world. That's it, man. Just watch it. Go home right now. There's still a few episodes left. I don't know where it comes on.

But yeah, ABC and Hulu. You can go check it out on Hulu. Okay. All right. And yeah. Jason Ritter. We hope you get picked up for another season. Thanks, man check it out on Hulu. Okay. All right. Jason Ritter. We hope you get picked up for another season. Thanks, man. I want to keep shopping at Target, so yeah.

Hope that works out. Okay. Target, like, is that... Target is the only... Wow, you're, like, rich. No, I just, like, steal makeup from there, but I don't really... That's where I got the face mask from. Oh, you stole that shit?

That's pretty wild. It's pretty easy. Oh, man. Let me tell you. Opening mail, stealing face masks. I didn't open the mail. It was my roommate. Oh.

Anyways. Kelly McInerney, your guy Steve Wars doesn't have a shithead on his thing, right? No, he doesn't. Who do you want me to call a shithead Stephen? People don't pick up their dog's crap Dog Say a word I'm writing it down Kelly what do you got to promote?

I am Dweed We have a new episode today Where we talk about Infinity Wars It's pretty fun I'm on a bunch of shows. You can check out KellyMcHenry.net for all that. And Holly Weirdo, Twitter and Instagram.

Thank you. Sarah? I have a relatively new podcast called Loner at Coil Wolf Creek. And it's me in the future reminiscing about the past, which is the right now. So it's me in the future reminiscing about the past which is the right now so it's weird

it's really weird but please listen to it because I like it a lot Sean Jordan I co-host a weekly podcast called All Fantasy Everything with Ian Carmel and David Borey so we just draft we fantasy draft everything except sports.

So like the Taco Bell menu or the mall or like songs that you... What was the last one that you did? Perfect. Songs that you're 90% sure you want to fight somebody after you listen to them.

It's fun. It's a fun... It's long. It's lengthy, but it's fun. We bullshit and it's fun. It's lengthy? How long is an episode

couple hours you're in traffic it's not too bad yeah a few hours isn't bad that's like a commute yeah it's like an hour and 40 hour 50 somewhere in there all right yeah listen to that if you feel so inclined otherwise just keep listening to this because this is fucking awesome yeah you know what just keep listening to this don't There's no reason to check out that other thing. But thank you again to all of my guests, Sean Jordan, Sarah Schaefer, Kelly McInerney, and Dustin Ibarra. As always,

people named Corey are shitheads. It says Corey. named Corey are shitheads? Sorry. It says Corey. Why do I have too many of these? I got one from the Star Wars helmet. And why... Austin gave you two. What?

No, I gave you one. Just do the piece of paper. Oh, just the piece of paper? Yeah. Instead of this? Yeah. And what's... Oh, instead of the... Instead of this? Yes. Okay. But that's two if I'm counting.

All right. Oh, it's on a BuzzFeed thing. This guy might work for BuzzFeed or something. Good act there. Trump deciding to exit the Iran nuclear deal is a shithead. So that was like... You wrote that down last minute? Like you were just like,

that's really been bothering me that he did that. Yeah, alright. And people who don't pick up their dog's crap are a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie

Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies