Doug Loves Movies - Sarah Silverman, Anthony Jeselnik, and Chelsea Peretti Guest

Episode Date: August 2, 2012

Doug welcomes comedians Sarah Silverman, Anthony Jeselnik, and Chelsea Peretti to the show....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy, rappers, sweeties, babies, 50's, secrets, 50 has a fuck more kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug loves movies Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies Hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from the UCB Theater on Tuesday, July 31st, 2 Oceans 12. Since last I spoke and you listened, I flew back from a fun weekend in Pittsburgh,

and the in-flight movie was Wrath of the Titans, which I did not watch because it's been so long since I saw Clash of the Titans. I was afraid this story would confuse me, and I couldn't remember the Titans. Alright. I know. As I was writing, I go,

this is so dumb. Don't you forget about... Don't you forget... Hey, everybody, don't forget about the Douglas Movies Fake Trailer Contest Make Your Own Trailer for I Dream of Siri. Little I, big D, I Dream of Siri. The story of a fake movie

about an iPhone with a Siri that grants wishes. There's already one on YouTube that some dudes made, and it's really... It's already one on YouTube that some dudes made, and it's really not what I expected at all. I mean, there's an iPhone in it, but it's more of a horror movie or something.

I don't know. I mean, go in any direction you want with it. Animation, of course, is welcome, but it has to be two minutes or less, and then post it on YouTube under I Dream of Siri, you know, the movie, or some people keep saying, like, last contest I did, people would be like, the official, the movie, or some people keep saying, like, last contest I did,

people would be like, the official or the winner, stuff like that. It's like, that's sort of cheating, but go ahead and call it whatever you want, but just make sure those words are in there so we can find it on YouTube and everybody can look at it. Submit by September 1st.

Winner will be a guest on Douglas Movies. Airfare and accommodations not included. So it's a pretty shitty prize. Now Now it's time for Watch This, Not That. Dark Knight Rises Not Ice Age If You Get My

Continental Drift. I am full of like movie pun things today for some reason. Toledo, Ohio. I'll be doing stand-up and playing some Leonard Maltin at the Funny Bone August 4th and 5th at 420. Omaha, Nebraska. I'll be returning to the Waiting Room

Lounge for one show only on Thursday, August 9th. And Denver, yeah! I'll be doing a Douglas Movies at Comedy Works on Sunday, August 12th at 420, and this will be a benefit. All the proceeds are going to go to Columbia's shooting victim,

comedian Caleb Medley, who we're still hoping will be okay. Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. Walking the Room co-host Dave Anthony tweeted, Time for a gritty reboot of Weekend at Bernie's. This was Tweet Rel relief, tweets about movies. From the corrections department,

Vic Garcia is not a real person and he definitely won't be appearing at the Benson Interruption taping at the Gramercy Theater in New York City on August 19th at 4.20. And then the Douglas movies at Helium in Philly is almost sold out, so we added

a stand-up show that same night, August 20th at 9.30. Fight to get a ticket. Now we get into the prize bag. There's a Douglas Movies T-shirt. It's a medium, so keep that in mind when you raise up your name tag. I don't want to hear about it later.

No returns. Find someone who's a medium and give them a nice gift. The Doug Diggsit DVD of this particular episode is a copy of the DVD of Jeff Who Lives at Home. I think that's a very enjoyable motion picture. We've got Smug Life, my first one, Professional Humoridian, and we've got a CD by this gentleman right here

and some people recognize him and then we've got a cast picture from a very fun television program that was on for far too short a period of time and also a DVD of songs from said show. Please

help me in welcoming Chelsea Peretti Anthony Jeselnik and and Sarah Silverman! Please welcome them! Give them the enthusiasm that they need! Yeah! Come on out. Hello, hello, hello. Did you introduce us? You're like Urkel.

Talk into the microphone. Microphone. Use your microphone. Hi. Say it again. Something about mascara, you and Anthony. No, all three of us were like doing other things. Yeah. That's cool.

I didn't even get to see Chelsea backstage because you just got here, right? Right. Nice. I'm glad you made it. Thank you. Yeah. And I forgot to mention, also in the prize bag, he's not here, but a very, very funny dude has a new CD

called Poems About the Ocean. And it's Jim Hamilton. What? What is this? Everyone's excited. Good plug. This is a total anti-plug. Could whoever wins this tonight listen to it and tweet

about how hilarious it is to get it going back in the right poems about the ocean but that's if you know he's a comedian that's a pretty funny title sounds like it bombed but it didn't the audience just had like a pensive thoughtful tone yeah but like if nobody knew

Anthony Jeselnik if I held up a thing a guy and it says Shakespeare on it, that wouldn't get a big... That doesn't sound... That's hilarious because we know that you're very much like Shakespeare. What kind of weird alternative universe are you talking about where people don't know who I am?

That's an excellent point. That is so signature Jeselnik. So Jess. You really jested up on that one. This might be interesting to have two on either side of you coming back at you every time.

So Jess. When he was on with Jeff Garland, he accused Jeff of having boring Tourette's anyway it stopped him for a second stretching like somebody's going... Yeah, yeah. Make it as long as possible. Jeff Garland has never stretched in his life. I like Jeff. I think he's mad at me for that because I saw him at the improv a couple months ago and he goes, everywhere I go, people scream

boring Tourette's at me, and I laughed really hard. I thought it was funny. I think he's mad at me. You sound exactly like him. Do that again. That's incredible. Which part? When you did his voice. Everywhere I go, people yell at me.

It was an attempt. But he did a show with T.J. Miller and Pete Holmes where I kind of sandbagged him because I didn't tell him that he's one of the three most obnoxious guests in the history of the show. I had them all on together to see who would win. And Pete Holmes won, handily.

But Jeff left mad before it was over. And, right, I felt bad about that. Because Jeff is a beating heart. I know, and I felt bad about that until I ran into him at Dave Rath's weird wedding thing. And when I ran into Jeff there, he started the conversation mad with me and ended it happy with me. Yeah.

Because I got him to admit that he's never gotten a bigger reaction on Twitter for anything he's ever done. And he loves it. He loved, because it was a hilarious show, and they're going to do a rematch sometime soon. It's purely with love. Is this like a recap show? We're going to do a rematch sometime soon. It's purely with love. Is this like a recap show? We're going back?

I was inspired by Mark Maron was playing. I don't know what number show I'm at. Who keeps track of that sort of thing? But I do know there's been a lot of them, and it's time to reminisce. Yeah. So let's go back. Let's go back to when Chelsea was on with Pete Holmes.

I blotted it out. You tore him apart with Pete Holmes. I blotted it out. You tore him apart on that one. Just blotted it out? Is that what it is? She dabbed it out. What's in it? Just a little dab. Wait, people don't say blotted it out.

She just blotted it out. I've been messing up every idiomatic expression. Yeah, that's not one either. That is. That is. You put a new twist on an old standard. That's so Chels. That's so Chels.

You also, you played Zelda in an episode of Parks and Rec? Yeah. Like, why would you play someone named Zelda? Was there witchcraft involved? No, everyone just, I feel like I've played various humiliating things. Like Victor Varnado, do you know him? He put me in a movie and I

later looked on IMDB and he named me like Sarah the Saucy Sales Lady or something terrible like that. Zelda, I mean, I would have voted against it if I had a vote. So no one calls you Zelda on camera in that episode? No.

It's just that's what they decided to call you? It's understood that when I say my one line, that's who I am. That was very Zelda of her. And Sarah's a voice in a new animated thing coming out. Sarah the Sassy Sales Lady? Yeah. Called Wreck-It Ralph. And you went down to Comic-Con

for it. Had a very positive experience there, right? Yeah, it was so quick. I didn't get to really roam the floor. But people were into what you were presenting though, right? Yeah, I think it's gonna be awesome. Who else is it? It's you and who's the other main voice in it?

Introducing a young man named John C. Reilly. Ooh. And Jane Lynch and Jack McFerrer. Nice. You can't not smile when you talk about that guy. Not anyone else. What does that mean? I don't get it.

That's an inside joke. Inside what? Sarah's brain. That's a great new way to refer to inside jokes. Inside. Just me. Leave me alone. But can you quickly say what Wreck-It Ralph is about without wrecking it?

It's an arcade. That's enough! After hours and the characters, their lives and struggles and pains. Oh, so you're like a whack-a-mole or something like that? No. Are they in it? No, but some real...

It's nostalgic for people our age. So it's like Toy Story nostalgic for people our age. So it's like it's like it's like Toy Story for even bigger nerds. Does it make you have you seen it? They show like

animatics before we record and like have showed us in pieces and then they showed a big chunk of it at Comic Con and stuff

and it's just like those movies are. Do they try to make you cry? Like Up or Toy Story? It fucking rips your heart out. Oh no! I can't do that. I can't do that surrounded by children.

It's terrible. Look at that weeping old guy near the kids. Those kids movies are brutal. Doug, is there anything you can do that you can do surrounded by children? You know, I have my times in the public pools that are okay. When the kids are in the pool at the hotel,

I hit the bricks. I just say, I get outside the room, try to find a window. So let me ask you guys, let's talk about movies a little bit. Chelsea, have you been to the cinema lately? Yes, I went to go see,

this actually I just realized isn't going to be fun to tell, but I went to go see The Dark Knight Rises, walked out, couldn't take it, was thinking about the shooting the whole time. Had a panic attack. I can understand that. It doesn't make it a lot more intense. What shooting? What? the whole time. Had a panic attack. I can understand that. I can understand that.

It doesn't make it a lot more intense. What shooting? What? I don't know how to Hey, do you or do you not have a shooting-related joke on the roast

in a few weeks? I don't want to give it away. Oh, God. Roseanne's really going to get it. This is an ugly time right now in general. I'm dying. At least they're roasting icons again.

They're roasting people that are supposed to be roasted and not just, like, Hasselhoffs. Plus, I mean... I mean, you have to... She's great. It's neat when the opening montage is like, look at all this great shit this person did, and they actually have some value to society.

That is good. Then you tear them apart. Plus, I mean, Seth Green's gonna be there, so. Oh, okay. Yeah, we're cool. I can't wait. How much of it did you think you got through? I don't know.

I also, aside from that, I just don't think I liked it. I don't like Bane., aside from that, I just don't think I liked it. I don't like Bane. Is it Bane or Banes? It's Bane. And what did you like about that character? I just hate it. What was it that bothered you about the character?

That is so horrible. It really upsets me. Even you doing that makes me want to flee the room. Please stay. You almost didn't make it to begin with. I really hate it. God, what is that character? He just is evil.

He is, but man, you could see Heath Ledger's face and he was so amazing that I still, for me, it was like, I like, Bane was kind of a cool thing, but not being able to see a guy's face, I guess it might be scarier for you. Oh, I thought you were saying that Bane was kind of a cool thing, but not being able to see a guy's face, I guess it might be scarier for you. Oh, I thought you were saying that Bane was Heath Ledger. I'm like, what?

How did they do that? They took some outtakes of the Joker, put a mask on his face. It's like Tupac. Never asked themselves, how does Bane eat? They never asked themselves that once, even though the actor had to figure out a way. You think he would just get like some put in his arm

every afternoon. It's time for me to eat. Someone puncture my arm so I can have sustenance. That actually would be a cool scary addition to see him feeding. At an IV like that and some

creepy nurse played. From your mouth to God's DVD extras. Anthony, you've been to the movies? Did you see that? Did you see Dark Knight? I did, and it is tough. The first half hour,

it is tough to sit there. Whenever there's gunfights in the movie, you can't not think about that fucking thing. Sure, sure. But I liked it a lot. I thought it was movie, you can't not think about that fucking thing. But I liked it a lot. I thought it was great. I can't believe you were just genuine.

That was crazy. I was like on the edge of my chair waiting. That sums up Chelsea and I's friendship. If I ever say it's not a joke. Fonzie cried? I think you two make a beautiful couple. I think I should push you into his arms.

Oh my God, I hate it. Sorry, we'll do it again. I just saw a movie, Hurricari, Death of a Samurai. Have you seen that? I have not. The dude who made 13 Assassins. It's a sequel.

It's fucking dope. Go see it. Is it like a limited release? It's called Hurricari, Death of a Samurai. What the fuck do you think? Is it on more screens than The Watch?

You can see it on On Demand, if you like. It's On Demand early. They thought Neighborhood Watch might be offensive to people, so they changed it to The Watch. A lot of news. Some people just think it's about a time piece. That is so ridiculous. I know, I can't stand those kind of alterations. They're giving Neighborhood

Watch the wonderful phrase and sentiment and thing that is Neighborhood Watch to them. Totally. Plus, George Zimmerman has an early cameo in the beginning, and then he's not in it at all. They took that out? Yeah.

He was pretty funny, though. I love Zimmerman. Oh, Zim. Zim, Zim. So Zim to do a cameo. Classic Zim. Such a Zim move. Have you heard of the movie, Sarah?

I saw Moonrise Kingdom. Nice. I love Wes Anderson, but for some reason I wasn't jazzed to see it. And then I was like, well, I'm being ridiculous. Just see it. And then I loved it. I thought you were going to say that you still weren't jazzed. No.

It's a masterpiece. Wait, why did some... My stepsister told me it was boring. I didn't think it was boring. I don't think it's... I still don't think he's matched Rushmore as of yet, but I don't think he necessarily has to because I just like watching what he's doing.

Rushmore was the best. Rushmore was the best, but this is so ambitious and cool and interesting. Too cool, though. He gives Bill Murray a chance to stretch, but he also gives him a character that's no... When Bill Murray's on screen, you want to be having fun. You don't just want to watch this frustrated, fucked-up guy who doesn't do anything particularly interesting. Tenenbaums was dope. Yeah, I love Tenenbaums, too. Tenenbaums was dope. Yeah, I love Tenenbaums, too.

Tenenbaums was better, you say? No, then Rushmore? No, you dummy. I'll physically fight you. I'll physically attack you. Film fight. Film fight. Put it on YouTube. That's what comedy is now.

You get in fights with audience members and then people weigh in on it. But it has to be at the Laugh Factory. Yeah. I think they have a PR department that sits stage left and just waits for shit to happen there and then says, okay, let's put this out there

and everyone will say, Laugh Factory is the place to go for shit you don't want to hear. Hey, fucks over a comic that's worked here for years, but it will get the Laugh Factory name out there. Everyone's like, what's going on? Well, I don't know. I'm not saying I don't have any inside information. It just seems like every time something goes down there,

it's there at the laugh factory. And it hasn't even been camera phones the last couple. It's just someone jotted down what was said. That doesn't happen anywhere. Every performance is now like a TV set where it's like a national issue. No, people don't write about it when it's on TV. It's like it's even more attention than it would.

And then a lot of these comics have been saying, oh, it when it's on TV. Yeah, yeah. It's even more attention than it would and then, you know, a lot of these comics have been saying, oh, I was working out some stuff. Well, yeah, you're working out some crazy shit

because people are fucking flipping out because they heard it. Like, it's not a good enough joke yet, but it's still like... Jess, I'm like, you had the best tweet

about it because you were just like, oh, somebody like angry at you, shittily quoting a joke. It was like, there's just nothing. I didn't quote you very well. Actually, I just did what you hate,

but with joy and love. You don't usually, when someone's saying it from that tone of like, listen to this terrible joke. He said that rape is good. You know what I'm saying? That was his punchline? He did say that.

It's good for some. Anyway, rape is good. That was his punchline? It's good for some. Anyway, rape is good. If I was more famous, that would definitely be on The View tomorrow. So let me apologize right now for all rape.

On behalf of all rapists, I would like to apologize It's not a sex thing It's a violence thing And they're terrible people and they need help Have you ever? Have I ever? I'm too nice for that

I did force the girl to hold my hand once In an alley Just for a little while And just nice for that. I did force the girl to hold my hand once in an alley. That counts. Just for a little while. And just say, like, that was a fun date. Like, it wasn't that much I was asking for. But it was a good point. But she didn't want to do it, yeah.

She wasn't down with it. I got to remember to say, does anyone hunger for games? Because we're having so much fun. Not us. Everybody but the panel wants there to be some games, but you guys, I think you might enjoy this. This is a game that all of you may not have played,

because it might be new enough that you haven't experienced it yet. It's called ABC Deez Nuts. And the idea is we go through one at a time. Normally we go through the alphabet, and each person has to name a movie that begins with the next letter of the alphabet.

And it seems kind of easy, but it's under pressure. It can be difficult. But we do a different kind of variation every time now, and the latest is that this time, instead of going straight through the alphabet, we're going to be spelling out the words Ghost Protocol. So you have to be able to think ahead to what letter is next. So hard.

But also, this is a twist that I thought of. I've written down my first thought that came into my mind for each of these letters. And if at any point somebody matches they automatically win this game sounds as fun as that explanation was as explanations go I think it was really fun but that's but that's because I was doing it I was doing the explaining so you get to start with the letter G, Chelsea. Don't look at my... Ghost protocol. Can I do that? Why not?

Why not? It's called Mission Impossible 4. Ghost world. Yes, that's correct. And that's not what I said. I said, get him to the Greek. All right, Anthony. H.

H, hudsucker proxy. Correct. I said hair. Correct. Anthony, H. H. Hudsucker Proxy. Correct. I said hair. Correct. Sarah, O. Any movie that begins with O. Overnight Delivery. I like how happy you are about that. I said orgasmo.

Okay, S. Back to Chelsea. S. Anything that begins with S. Starbucks. Starbucks. Starbucks. I love that movie! Starbucks the movie! It's all about baristas. Why can't it be that? It can be on every corner.

You can watch the movie while you're waiting for a latte. S. Sim. Sim's the movie. Sim's the movie Sim's the movie Simpsons Okay you're out

You're out You gave me a good shot though S Anthony S Shit that fucks me up Yeah it does Sophie's Choice That's good

Very good I said super Who's super odd at that Like I fucking wrote it Oh bad statement of a name Him with his Sophie's Choice jokes Any chance he gets to say those words He dives on it T for you Sarah

True romance Oh okay I said Tropic Thunder P And back in? No. F. P.

P. Prometheus. You're just in my sight line. Prometheus. I said Pan's Labyrinth. Okay. K. Why are you saying that?

Who gives a shit if we got the one that you wrote down? Yeah. If it matches, it's going to be amazing. Rain Man. Rock of Ages. Oh, man. We should do it that way every time. Oh.

Outbreak. Outland. See? This is like... See how not exciting it is? Sarah T. Tropic Thunder. Okay, Anthony wins.

What? Because you can't repeat. No, it's okay. I'll allow it. I'll come up with another one. I'll allow it. Two. You're going to come up with another one?

Two, two, eight. Rat, two, two, eight. I'm going to have to accept Trumpet Thunder. The Shining. Oh, good one Trick or treat This is like being in the basement With a dork

Play my games Don't make me go back out in the pool With the children. I feel like your mother's going to be calling you soon. Oh, Anthony. How can you be out of the game yet still ruin it? That's the best place to be. That's the dream position.

Oh, I'm going to say the movie, oh. Yeah, that's good. Office space. C, Sarah. Oh, what is it? C. The letter C. And cunt is in the movie. Yet. Cunt writer. C.

There probably is a movie. Chocolate. Chocolate. Got a little fancy Catwoman O to Anthony Othello Based on the movie O

O is promoted Othello was not based on the movie O I know that was my little joke Operation Dumbo Drop L Sarah No, Operation Dumbo Drop. Oh, Sarah. Oh my gosh. Love. Love.

Oh, that was a sitcom. Love, Sydney. Really? You go love, and you don't, you got nothing? Is there a cover? Love Actually. That's what I wrote. Love fucking Actually.

Yeah. Yeah. Love Actually That's what I wrote Love fucking actually Yeah Yeah Worthless coincidence Worthless coincidence We're more psychic when we're high Come on It's been proven in motion picture You know who won that game?

Chelsea. First one out wins. That's how my games work. First one to the bar not playing is the winner. Oh, and that CD that I showed earlier that I should point out because I didn't mention it is Songs from the

Sarah Silverman Program. That's got to be a fun CD to listen to. It's got like a zillion tracks. We really scraped it. Scraped everything. And don't forget about Jim Hamilton. A bunch of poems. About the ocean. Let's listen to it now. That's a great idea. I'm going to throw in a clip.

Edit point. Alright, let's play the Leonard Maltin game. The audience knows that it's time to show name tags if they brought them. Don't feel bad if you didn't, but holy shit, there's a lot of them. Adam scribbled it on a piece of paper. I always appreciate those.

There's a mousetrap over there. And Anthony had his tossed to him by our good friend Jordan. So Anthony's playing for Jordan. Sarah's really working it. Okay, Chelsea's going gonna go get a water. Anthony, what's up with you lately? Chilling. Just chilling out?

No. Playing for Jordan? Have you ever won the prize bag, Jordan? He won once. You're about to make it twice, bro. All right. Will. What'd you get, Sarah?

Or Rob. Oh, Rob. Will Hart movies for laughs. Rob. And it's like a street sign. Doesn't seem like much of a sacrifice. I'll love movies for laughs. No one wants you to do that for them.

But you know. You should switch it out. Switch it out! Change your mind mind I'm homeless alright so your name is Rob and okay so he's verified that he is homeless so that's nice

that he's just asking for laughs instead of and don't read that if it says someone for me to call a shithead at the end of the show they'll get to do that if they

if you lose if you lose there's so much information and directions I know it's crazy it gets more it gets harder for you to understand every time you come what is this you got a new phone

this is the girl I chose I had to because I'm a narcissist her name is Chelsea Chelsea did you know that Chelsea would be here did you you must have been delighted. Good luck. But most of my guests. Another fun coincidence.

Most of my guests like the name Chelsea, so she might have gotten picked by somebody else. And Jordan and Rob. Okay, so I almost looked on your phone, Chelsea. Chelsea, Chelsea. That's her last name, Chelsea? That's not a bad name, Chelsea, Chelsea.

It's the craziest. It actually really is bad. Where would she be from? Hey, you're talking about it. What's that? What is your last name? Ofuia. Ofuia?

Bet you regret asking that. I take it back. Do you get tired of hearing it with a question mark at the end? Ofuia? Are you Nigerian? No. Nothing? All right.

Fair enough. Ofuia. Sounds like a onomatopoeia for like a really dry diarrhea. If that's possible. That sounds like a song that would be on your CD.

Onomatopoeia for dry diarrhea. That's the first thing I've ever sang in my life. That was rapping. Let's be honest, that was rapping. Everyone wants to try. I've got an album coming out. Remember the 90s?

Full of rap songs. My album cover looks like rap, so most places have it in the rap section. Most music stores, that's where my album is. I want mine to look like R&B. Both music stores that still exist. Both places that have them, yeah. I want mine to look like R&B. Both places that have them, yeah. I mean, Amoeba knows better,

but I'm talking about Walmart or whatever. It's in the rap section. Jordan just took a picture. Why don't you just stare at us like you do every week? He's always right in the front row. Why didn't someone warn me before I took this baseball? Because everything I say to you guys, you go, oh, this is way too much to learn and know and understand.

I just came here to make jokes. This is like fun detention. I've been trying to get you guys to go with me to the movies or something, and you wouldn't do it, so I asked you to be guests on the show. I'm just kidding. This is a lot of fun. Just kidding. All right. Sarah gets to go first because she won ABCD's Nuts.

Thank you, Doug. I can name that movie. Don't jump ahead. That's happened a couple times lately we'll blurt out the answer very early on and kumail has never lived it down okay so sarah gets picked from the following categories then we'll go to anthony and then to chelsea and uh your category choices sarah are at underscore Denver I mean at Denver underscore yeah so that'd be weird if he's had that name for a long time

he or she suggested Snapes on a Plane Snapes on a Plane and that is movies where Alan Rickman flies somehow there's more nerds in the basement now, right? I don't even understand any of that. Yeah, exactly.

That was all gibberish to me, except Snape's is from either Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. It's from Lord of the Rings. He's the one, he's the little monster in the cave that says precious a lot. Oh, okay. Okay. Is that a lie?

Yes. At Bradley SM suggested Quaid's Awareness Month. And that's movies with Randy and Dennis Quaid. Both of them? Both of them together, yes. Yeah.

Hasn't happened very often. And it's Wesley Snipes' birthday today. Both of them together, yes. Yeah. Hasn't happened very often. And it's Wesley Snipes' birthday today, so movies where taxes are... No. Movies... Movies of Wesley Snipes. I'd like to do that on somebody's birthday. What's the first one?

I don't remember. Snipes on a plane. Alan Rickman? Mm-hmm. Great actor. Can't you think of a handful of Alan Rickman? These are the worst categories. Can't you think of a handful of Alan Rickman movies just sitting there holding your hand like that? That he's on a plane? And some sort of thing

that flies, yes. Or he flies. Not to put too fine a point on it. Well, this isn't Harry Potter. It's not the answer, but he flies and die hard until he hits the ground. Sense and sensibility is not an option. No. Sense and sensibility is not an option. No.

I'm sorry I missed you. Sense and Sensibility would not be one. And then the second one is... Wesley Snipes. You know his movies. Okay. All the Blade films.

Just Snipes. Jungle Fever. Oh, Jungle Fever is the only one you've seen? Yeah. You've seen it like a million times, right? I only know like three. The Year of Sarah is 1992.

Leonard gives this movie two and a half stars. He says that... He says that one of the co-stars of the movie is the director's father. No help at all, right? And he also says about this movie, has too many coincidences. This is a Wesley Snipes movie.

Mm-hmm. Suspend your disbelief. And there are Nine names listed How many names do you think you can get? I can name it in Eight names Smart opening bit Anthony?

Name that movie Really? What? Interesting strategy And I think it's going to pay off I have a good feeling about it. Alright, let's do this. Alright, do you want the clues again?

It's a Wesley Snipes movie from 1992 and the director's father is a co-star in it. Two and a half stars. Oh! And coincidences. Too many coincidences. And your eight names are

Ernie Lively, Michael Horse, Elizabeth Hurley, Robert Hooks. Hold on. Slow down. You slow down. Elizabeth Hurley? Is that the... You said both names correctly. Okay. Elizabeth Hurley. Robert Hooks.

Bruce Greenwood. Alex Datcher. Who?wood, Alex Datcher. Who? The great Alex Datcher. Someone hoarse? Tom Sizemore and Bruce Payne. Who? There's no reason to drag it out.

We can just give the point to Anthony right now. Is there any more? Bruce Payne is the second billed person out of nine. So Wesley Snipes. He was a star in 1992? I know. Can you believe it happened that early for him? I had no idea that's when this came out.

But I'm not good with years. I don't think I'm even going gonna know this movie. Hold on. I think you will know it. At the risk of giving you another clue to you. Don't say it. I gotta call time on you. Girl six. She got it.

She fucking got it. No. Classic. Classic Perrette. I don't think I've ever been happier in my basement. Yeah, so the final name, of of course is Wesley Snipes and he plays the title character passenger 57 you've heard of passenger 57 It was the prequel to United 93. Is 93 the right number? Is it?

I can never remember the number of it, but yeah, good one. Thank you. That's funny for so many reasons, Chelsea, because 93 and 92. That is funny. I'm sorry. All right, so congratulations, Anthony. You did that just right. We'll start with Chelsea and then go to Anthony to change the direction around.

Have fun, you guys. Something different happened this time. At re... So you get to pick, Chelsea. At re... R-E-E-H underscore 24 suggested Hunger Games, and that's movies that have an eating contest in them.

Whoa. Yeah. At the loudest fan suggested In Your Face, which is movies where someone wears a mask of somebody else's face. Bing! All right, all right. Forget that one. Forget that one.

I'll throw that one out. Why? Entertainment Weekly's 50 most underrated films of the last two decades. Movies that were on that list. That's just a real category? Mm-hmm. And Jack... Let's see.

Yeah, Jack-offed. As suggested by Malcolm underscore Irvin. That's movies where Jack Nicholson dies. Jack-offed. So we've got Jack-offed, 50 most underrated according to Entertainment Weekly, or Hunger Games, movies where there's an eating contest? I guess

underrated. Alright. You get to pick the year even so you get to narrow it down a little bit yourself. Would you like an underrated movie for 96 or 90? House of Yes. Or 99? Or 99? 96.

Okay, no more pre-guessing. That was a close one. Two and a half stars from Leonard. He says this movie... Who's Leonard? JK. I know. My buddy Leonard who couldn't be here today because his mom's

making him stay home because he's got the sniffles. He's grounded. Yeah, he says about this movie, Leonard Maltin says, it's amusing. And he also says that there are fine performances all around.

Underrated, amusing. Fine. Yeah. And he lists eight names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Chelsea? I mean, nine.

Okay, yeah, I'll make up a name. I have to go to the max. You can say eight. Okay, eight, she says, Anthony. Oh, it's to me? Same tactic? I'm going to go seven names. All right, good.

Because if you had said name it, you probably would have won. Yeah, but I don't want to. This is a better way to go seven names. All right, good. Because if you'd have said name it, you probably would have won. Yeah, but I don't want to. This is a better way to go. This is more fun for everyone. Yeah. Yeah. So seven.

To watch you lose. Seven. I like the attention of having it on me, but I'm going to say name that movie. Doug, you fucked me by telling her, basically, to tell me to name the movie. When did I say that? I said he said seven.

Yeah, and you said you probably would have won if you had told her to say an eight. No, but he thinks that Chelsea's stupid. She said it out loud. She said it before I did. She goes, are you going to use the same tactic? She brought it up, and the same tactic is make the person name it, even though they've got a tough name. Fight, fight, fight. YouTube, YouTube the same tactic? She brought it up. And the same tactic is make the person name it

even though they've got a tough name. Fight, fight, fight. YouTube, YouTube, YouTube, YouTube. Go, go. I don't think you understand what I'm mad at you for. But I will name the movie. Give me the seven. The seven names are

Allison Janney, Joseph Saravo something like that it's not alright doesn't matter Randall Battenkoff Kevin Corrigan

Lev Schreiber Todd Field and how many does he get seven out of seven yeah Ann Heche

Ann Heche. Anne Heche, 96. Two and a half stars. Underrated. I know I do. You do? You do? Schreiber. 96.

I was a junior in high school. There's no way I had any idea who the fuck Anne Heche was. She was big at that time. Wasn't she? When was she huge? There was like one year where everyone was talking Heche.

You guys are ganging up helping him. Help? They're not. I know, it's all from a lady's perspective okay Hache Fever

remember it was during that time of Hache Fever what were the clues again? Hache Fever underrated 96 two and a half stars everyone did a good job yeah but there were like clues in the review as well yeah yeah underrated 96 two and a half stars everyone did a good job yeah but there were like clues in the review as well

yeah yeah underrated it was amusing amusing and fine performances were fine alright you sound mean

alright I gotta call it I gotta call it we gotta keep playing I have no idea and the top billed person of course is Catherine Keener

and the movie's called Walking and Talking. Would never have gotten that. But I don't think I would have guessed it. This is so hilarious. I wouldn't have gotten it. But I would imagine most women here know about Walking and Talking, and most men here know about Passenger 57.

No, I know neither. Well, you're not most. I'm a robot. I'm just pointing out, you guys are weird. You like Walking and talking. Walking and talking is good. What's that about? But it's more obscure than Pastor 57, for sure.

Nicole Holofcener. Oh, shit. That wasn't a joke. Yeah, no, I like her movies. All right, so that means Sarah got a point. Yeah. Very unsatisfying. It was not satisfying.

Point. So that means that, and she challenged Anthony, so Chelsea will start with you again. Oh, good. And then go to Sarah. Okay. And I won't say anything, Anthony.

I don't know what I said before that ruined it. Wait, what? Nothing. Okay. Which one of these categories would you like to play, Chelsea? Would you like, at EverDarkMoon suggested Bottomless Pit, which is movies where Brad Pitt eats.

Which is pretty much every movie someone in the audience has pointed out. And then at Blake underscore Blount suggested Mother Lovers, and that's movies where an actress and an actor played both mother and son and lovers in two different movies.

Yeah, I know. That's fucked up, that category. And Moonrise Condom, that's movies where someone has sex in space. Which one of those are you dying to play? Those are all going to be fails for me.

What was the first one? The first one was the one about bottomless pits. Oh, pit eating? It's Brad Pitt movies, essentially. Just think about all that eating. He's always biting out of an apple or something. Are you anorexic now? eating? It's Brad Pitt movies essentially. Right. Just think about all that eating. He's always biting out of an apple or something. Are you anorexic now? Huh? Are you anorexic now? No, but...

That's a scene from walking and talking. Acting eating. It's so loud. It's true. We have a sensitivity to hearing chewing sounds. Sarah flips out so much when somebody chews popcorn near her that now I flip out about it because I just think if Sarah were here right now, she'd be losing her mind.

I know. It's catchy. I can't concentrate on the movie. If I hear someone snap their gum, I think of you because of how much it pisses you off. It's beyond my control. It's a chemical rage. But a lot of people are raised not's beyond my control. It's a chemical rage. But a lot of people are raised not to smack their food. A lot of people are just raised

to chew with your mouth closed, but then there's a shocking... Then there's the impoverished that are often sitting behind you in the dark. Rich people eat like pigs. I'm not kidding. Anyway, the category... I'm so kidding. That makes sense. Anyway, the category.

I'm so angry about stuff. So you want to go bottomless pit? First, do you hate the poor? Yeah, I'll go. I've got some problems with them, but I wouldn't go so far as to hate them. He doesn't hate it. He's uncomfortable around them. Right.

Yeah, I guess I'll go bottomless pit. Why not? Okay, here we go. Bottomless pit. This is your chance. It's like, do you want to eat dog shit or cat shit? I guess I'll eat dog shit. It smells better than cat shit. Wait a second! No, you're gonna want

cat shit. Cat shit's way smaller. It goes down easier. Cat shit is like pills. Cat shit smells so bad. It fills an entire house and it's way smaller. But it smells... It goes down easier. I agree. Cat shit is like pills. Cat shit smells so bad. It fills an entire house, and it's just terrible. We'll put some plugs in and go nuts. Get a litter box, Peretti, and fucking... Let's play this game. All right.

Cat shit smells like if a vagina could shit. Ew. Ew. Ew. They can. Are you guys going for the Jeff Garland prize tonight? Chelsea just said that. Chelsea, gross.

Gross. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. Jeff. That is really... Jeff, we have to play the game. Who's Jeff? Garland. That's what he does.

You just got curbed. Oh, man. That hurts. I love when Jesselnik says a funny thing. He does that basketball basket no smile. When guys get a good basket and they don't smile. Do a real poker face after? Oh, yeah.

I'm in the zone. What can I say? You do that no smile. I'm serious when I say that. Yeah, it's like all net. I do this for a living. 1998. 1998.

1998 is the year. Two stars from Leonard. He says about this movie in which Brad Pitt eats, he says that the main character simply makes no sense. And that the movie has sumptuous production design. Two stars.

1998. Brad Pitt eats. And there are seven names listed. How many do you want to start with? I can do it in one name. She says one name. Sarah. Zero names.

Whoa. You guys are ridiculous. Just as a fuck you to Chelsea. Well, you're just stuck, right? We're just like, what do you call it? I can't remember the expression. Jamming the system? What is it? That is not it? I can't remember the expression. Jamming the system? What is it?

Gleaming the cube would have been closer. What is that? Gaming the system. I feel like I know this movie and I'm pissed off that you guys fucked me out of glory. You can go negative one. All you have to do is name the movie

and whoever the person is. Why did you go to that? I'll go negative one. Now can you name the movie and whoever the person the odd-billed person is. Why did you go to that? I'll go negative one. Can you name the movie and the two lead performers in the right order? Yes. Say negative two. Negative two. Okay.

Sarah? Do you want to go negative three? Name it. That's a hard one to pull. That third name. What's the movie? Brad Pitt and Heath Ledger Brokeback Mountain. Do you want to go negative three? Name it. That's a hard one to pull, that third name. Okay. All right, so what's the movie? Brad Pitt and Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain. You all gaming me.

You gaming me. There was a shit ton of eating in Brokeback Mountain. Inside the tent. Inside the tent. You didn't get to see a lot of eating and broke back mom. Inside the tent. Inside the tent. You didn't get to see a lot of it. Oh, ass, right? Yes, Doug. Yes.

The 80 judges, ass. Okay, mother, I'll keep it down. All right, so... What were you so confident about, Sarah? I thought it was Brad Pitt and Claire Forlani in Meet Joe Black. Close. How could that be Claire Forlani? I would have guessed. Because I won, right?

What would you have done? I would have guessed Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt, 12 Monkeys. This is all over the place, but it was Meet Joe Black. It was? Yeah, but it was Anthony Hopkins, Brad Pitt, Claire Forlani. What happens? What do you do now? How do you calculate the winner?

I won. Oh, Anthony won. He won. Yeah, I calculated by you thinking that Brad Pitt was in Brokeback Mountain. That disqualifies you tonight and forever. So let me, I've never started a completely disqualified list, but... Oh, I have. It's just in my head. It's Tig and now you. There's two people.

Tig doesn't know about movies at all. You play along a lot better. I bring a lot of joie de vivre. That is true. Chelsea has so much joy. That's the same as joie de vivre. I think Tig is like a pure cinephile who just doesn't like you.

Can I see your sign, please? They're not all perfect. Wait, didn't I win? Yeah, you did. You won for Jordan, who's won once before. No, because I said Claire Forlani instead of Anthony Hopkins. But he's still...

Yeah, but it was after me. I guessed negative two. She said negative three. No, no, no. You did win. You did win. You did win. You did win. Sarah wins.

So you were No, don't say it. Don't you. Can't say it. Can't start it up. So you were Alright, so Sarah wins. And Jordan, you get to come up and name a shithead. Just write it down over here, because I don't think you have a shithead on your baseball,

considering you asked the guests to sign your baseball. And Chelsea, come up and... Oh, there's Chelsea's written on a piece of paper by someone that was... Jose's Lunchbox? Jose. That does not look like a dude to me. All right, and okay so

what? wow that's a weird one and what did Jordan say oh that's just like some friend of yours or something good one people write to me on Twitter I hate it when they just name a friend of theirs. Why can't they come up with something funny?

Like a corporation or something. Yeah, exactly. Like to jam the system. You could have jammed the system tonight and you went with your friend. She does have a funny name, though. We'll see what happens. Jam system?

Sarah, any place people can see you or release dates or anything like that? If anyone's going to be in my living room for the next month or so, that's where I'll probably be. How's Doug? He's alive. It's amazing, right? Every morning I wake up and I'm like, you're still here?

That's fun. That's probably what encourages him to go on And Anthony? You can see me on the roast next weekend and that same weekend I'll be at the Tampa Bay Improv Nice

Taking all the compliments in person All the nice people in Tampa And Chelsea, what are you up to? I'm going to be at Portland, the Helium there at the end of the month. Oh, I like that place. I was just there. I just heard that's the best club.

Everyone says that. You can just go up for a night. You don't have to do a weekend or whatever. You can just go whenever. Don't bring merch. Those people have no fucking money. Really? It's not the biggest merch town. Do you sell little hemp bracelets? Unless you're selling bicycle parts

and no one's buying shit. Jess will make bicycle parts. All you got shirts and CDs? I gotta get home. I need a bicycle part. And all of my tour dates are at douglasmovies.com. And thank you to my guests,

Sarah Silverman, Anthony Gessling, Chelsea Peretti. And has anyone ever come up to you in a bar and went like, you're Chelsea Letti. And has anyone ever called you in a bar and went like, you're Chelsea Lately. Have they said that? People will go, like someone was like, are you Chelsea Handler's sister?

I go, it goes by last name. You should say that though to people. I'm Chelsea Peretti, no relation. Alright, thanks again and as always, Leslie Silvernail is a shithead, and those Federal Reserve mook fucks

is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talk. He's eyes are bold, his viewing power is basic. He's there's no room in his heart for you cause Doug loves movies!