Doug Loves Movies - Sarah Silverman, Nick Kroll, and Kumail Nanjiani Guest

Episode Date: October 13, 2011

Doug welcomes comedians Sarah Silverman, Nick Kroll, and Kumail Nanjiani to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody I know that much without looking at my script My name is Doug And I love movies

This is Doug Loves Movies Coming to you from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater On Tuesday, October 11th To Ocean's Eleven Where are your name tags at? I see a Jordan boxing glove. Is your name actually Jordan? That's crazy.

And he's sitting right next to Jordan with the baseball. We got Calla. Am I pronouncing that right? On a frisbee. And then what about Justin instead of what about Bob? He changed over a movie poster. That's pretty impressive. And then Adam. Is that the film called Adam?

Okay. Was that about like an autistic dude or something? Okay. Well, good luck with that. Steph has a It's It box. It's It is a, I don't know if it's all over the world, but it's like an ice cream sandwich. Right? What's that?

It's a San Francisco thing? San Francisco treat? It's an ice cream sandwich with Right? What's that? It's a San Francisco thing? San Francisco treat? It's an ice cream sandwich with rice-a-roni in it. And then we got Keith wrote something on a piece of cardboard that ends in fuck. I can't read the rest of it. High-ass fuck. And then Tim is here and a guy with a shirt

that says Duke on it. I don't know if that's just your name or coincidence or school you went to. And then what is that big sign back there? Pick Dana? Why? Corky St. Clair says to pick Dana. Corky St. Clair is from Waiting for Guffman? I'm pretty good at this. Listeners, be sure to bring your name tags to the Columbus, Ohio Funny Bone on October 16th and October 17th.

That's a Sunday and a Monday. And to the Douglas Movies taping at the Gramercy Theater in New York City at 8 o'clock on October 23rd. Last night at Zaney's in Nashville, Sean Jordan beat a lady named Mary. Lady is probably not the right... A young woman named Mary.

He beat her in the category that was in theaters now, and the answer was What's Your Number? She didn't know that one. And then Sean lost to Greg in the horror movies category, and the answer was Poltergeist. On the flight back to L.A captain america again again not in 3d they don't offer 3d on the plane and it stars future guest chris evans so i loved it also on the plane i listened to last week's ep from helium comedy club in portland oregon and jesus what a mess that was horrifying to listen to. I mean, when it was happening,

I had kind of an idea that I might have been too high, but listening to it... I know it was free to listen to, but I still need to apologize for wasting your time. And I apologize to the club and the people of Portland that came to the club and my guests that night

and the alcohol. I apologize to alcohol. I apologize to marijuana. There were some funny parts in it, but I don't know. I think I might pull it from existence. It would be such a bummer to listen to because I like to maintain that I get high

and still do an okay job at hosting the show, but that was ridiculous. I don't even know if pulling it is something that we can do, but if it disappears, you'll know why. So check it out now if you are dying to hear it. Even the Baltimore show where I was completely drunk was better. You got to pace yourself. I learned a valuable lesson.

In other news, I had such a great time on the 311 cruise earlier this year that I have weaseled my way into and onto the Weezer cruise in January. That's right. They're going to play Pinkerton and the Blue Album, and they do all the great shows inside and out on the boat. In addition to performances by them, the cruise will also feature Dinosaur Jr., Sebado, Gene Ween,

and a taping of Doug Loves Movies. Yeah. So go to WeezerCruise.com for more info, like the dates and where the cruise is going. I'll tell you right now, cause of mill. And tell them I sent you because we want to keep track of how many people want to see the podcast

so we make sure that we're doing it in the right venue on the boat to make room for everybody. Now it's time for Watch This, Not That. The number one fighting movie in the country right now is called Real Steel. It features a boy dancing with a robot and that's one of the good parts.

The number two fighting movie right now in the country is called Warrior. It doesn't feature a kid dancing with a robot. So see Warrior, not Real Steel. This has been Watch This, Not That. Me and my guests tonight have contributed the following prizes for whoever from the audience wins in the Leonard Moulton game today. Copies of my first CD and my fourth CD,

Professional Humor, Idiot, and Potty Mouth. Also some t-shirts that the guests will explain when they get out here. One of them says, The San Diego Diet, which I was on for most of my life, having been from there, and I don't necessarily think it's a good diet. And then another t-shirt that says, what does it say on it?

It says, Brothers to the End. Okay, you guys understand that, I guess? It's a reference to some video game. And then we've also got some Colgate Wisp whitening thingies that have been sitting in someone's bag, and she signed it, My Wisps. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome

Sarah Silverman, Nick Kroll, and Kumail Nanjiani. Oh, there she is. Oh, there she is. Why are you so late, Sarah? I wanted to grab my water from my backpack. Oh, okay. And I grabbed my phone in case I needed it for reference. I mean, not that I would cheat on Letter Maltin, but... You might need to make some calls or look some things up.

What if I need to reference something? Are you and Letter Maltin, but... You might need to make some calls or look some things up. What if I need to reference something? Yeah. Are you and Letter Maltin dating seriously? They made out on a night of a thousand whatever that was. Nick, you left a curler in your hair. I am a housewife. That's Nick Kroll, everybody,

right there talking. Hello. Hello. Woo Woo Yeah I always learn things When I look up on IMDB Because IMDB I look up on there

What you're You know What you've done What you've done movie wise And in your case I was shocked to see The words little fuckers Oh yeah

I just saw it For the first time For this weekend Yeah He plays a guy in a college Or a Young doctor case, I was shocked to see the words Little Fockers. Oh, yeah. I just watched you on it. He plays a guy in college. Young doctor. I wish. Young doctor. How young do you have to be to be young doctor? Because you seem old enough to be a regular doctor.

I'm a character guy, so I play a 13-year-old doctor. Doug Hauser. That's fucked up. So you're in it briefly? Very briefly. I'm in one scene. There was a reshoot because the original kid they had in it

developed a tick in the middle of making the movie. And so they had to recast the little kid. What was the dick? I don't know. I'm assuming he was like, I'm a child. Don't make me do this work.

I want to go to school. Don't pin your dreams on me. This franchise is in motion. It's too late for me. So yeah, so they reshot a scene in the doctor's office. And so they cast me as the young doctor. And I get to hang out for a day with like Stiller,

De Niro, Ben, Robert? Yeah, Ben. Bobby. Bobby. Bobby and Benji. And Blythe Danner and Owen Wilson Obama

did you not get to hang out with Terry Polo yeah Terry was there actually you mentioned every single

person yeah you got to Blythe Danner yeah she's cool that's Kumail Nanjiani everybody

first timer first timer on Doug Lo's movies She's cool. That's Kumail Nanjiani, everybody. First timer. First timer on Doug Lowe's movies. That's exciting. Very exciting. The question I had for you is, you're in life as we know it? Yeah, what's that tone, Doug?

That tone is, I didn't see it because it's about Katherine Heigl and that's all I needed to know I'm telling you The woman needs Someone to go Hey check out A good script sometime And make that

I mean you know She's a good actress I am in it I am in life As we know it Yes What do you play Young doctor

I play Josh Duhamel's Like work buddy that he comes to for advice is your advice good? no it's hilariously terrible

and he uses it to ill effect? no it almost feels like the scenes I have in the movie are from like a different movie

because they don't connect to anything else. Nothing I tell him to do, he does. And he doesn't even decide to not do it. It's like he never heard me. It feels like they cut me out, but they gave me a copy with just scenes put into it

because it makes no sense. I love that Melissa McCarthy though. She's in there. Well, Rob Hubel's in it Andy Daly's in it There's a lot of funny people in it Yeah yeah I'll see it on a plane

Terry Polo Terry Polo said no She passed on life as we know it I just get driven crazy by that scene Where in the trailer Like it shouldn't be allowed to be in the trailer I don't think Because it's too disgusting

Where Melissa McCarthy says you have poo on your face. Yeah. Because Katherine Heigl has poo on her face. There's a lot of jokes in the movie where people have things on their face. I'm not joking. There's poo. That's the last one but it builds up. It starts with spaghetti and then there's

pee, there's puke and then you know the big crescendo is the poo on the face. Things come out of babies. Well, they found out those are the five funniest things according to the census in Babytown. Babies love that movie.

I remember I was flying to do that movie to Atlanta, and when I read the script on the plane, I started crying reading it. Because you thought it was so beautiful? Yeah. I was like, I'm going Because you thought it was so beautiful? Yeah. I was like, I'm going to be part of something. Really?

Yeah. I was also in first class, so maybe that had something to do with it, you know? And high on Ambien and white wine. Yeah. And it was that time of the month. That time of the month when you drink white wine and Ambien? Yeah. and read

Katherine Heigl movies and cry on a plane. Did you lose your shit reading the script for The Killers? Sarah Silverman, you're in the Muppets movie that's coming out soon.

Yes, I am How amazing is that? Which Muppet did you get to work with? I already know the answer I know you do I didn't have my scene You're in a Muppet-less scene That's like being in Rent

And not having a scene with Rosario Dawson Same thing that happened to you, yes I auditioned for Rent and I got the only part that doesn't sing. I had to sing a big song. Really just... By the way, mine was similar because I didn't have any scenes

with Katherine Heigl in my movie. Yeah, she's as important to American culture as the Muppets. But just, it was something they tacked on. It's a song they added that's actually, it's kind of with a Muppet, but it's really not at all with a Muppet. Where it's a split screen with Amy Adams and Miss Piggy both singing like a duet about missing their loves or something. Is that a spoiler? I don't think so.

What do you do? You just peek in from behind one of them? It's nothing. Well, you know, I mean, it's not like you get a part. It's like, or I, you know, I mean, it's just a cameo. Like, they have cameos, and they're not, there's nothing funny or anything. But they have everyone, like, start like this, you know? So it's like, can I get you a table?

Every time the person turns around? I think so. That's what they told me I love that So it's like, who's it gonna be? Oh, sir And then I just say like Table for two And then that's, I mean, nothing

But I'm so excited That's so great, you're in it I love that you're in it I have the Muppets on my living room wall Take this waltz, please That's so great. You're in it. I love that you're in it. I have the Muppets on my living room wall. Take This Waltz, please, is a movie that you're in. Now, I just read a little bit on IMDb about it, because I don't like to know too much about movies,

but all I could gather from it is that Michelle Williams has to choose between you and Seth Rogen. What? Is that what it's about? No. What's it about? It says she has to choose between you and Seth Rogen? What? Is that what it's about? No. What's it about? It says she has to choose between two very different kinds of love. It's the only thing I read. No, it's another guy. Luke Kirby. What's the difference between his love and Seth

Rogen's love? I don't want to take up the time. Did you say Bruno Kirby? That's a very different kind of love. Yeah. Love with the ghost of a wonderful actor.

Oh, the best. Yeah, he was great. All right. Let's take a moment to think about Bruno Kirby. What was your favorite Bruno Kirby role? The limo driver in Spinal Tap. Not one of his bigger parts, but sure. I liked him in... City Slickers 2.

Oh, you don't go one, you go two? No, I just wanted to say two to make it be two. But I guess one. I liked him when he was on The Partridge Family as a young stand-up comedian. There was an episode where he was trying to be a stand-up comic and he was Reuben Kincaid's nephew, I think.

And so he got to open for the Partridge family. And the only joke I remember is... I can't even remember it. I started to remember a joke, and then... I know, it just hit me, too. What? Oh, that... That backstage fun?

Can I take a second To play for you guys People send in I'm going to think of the joke Oh oh oh He goes He goes I'd like to start by

Clearing up a few things I'd like to clear up a few things Starting with my face Was one of his That's cute That's a solid line He was supposed to be a teenager Doing stand up comedy

Yeah I thought that was good He was in Good Morning Vietnam He was in that one Oh he's great Yeah That's a solid line. He was supposed to be a teenager doing stand-up comedy. Yeah. But that was good. He was in Good Morning Vietnam. He was in that one. Oh, he's great in that. Yeah, he's very uptight in that. Or in Como. Yeah.

Yeah. That's right. That's right. Seriously, Bruno Coover, you guys. Always, always, always a treat. May he live. He was in some of those Kurt Russell Disney movies. He was in a bunch of movies as Joey Pants, too.

I'm so bored. He was in Sleepers in Seattle. He was in that one. Oh, yes, he was. No, in Harry Met Sally. Harry Met Sally is the one I'm thinking of. Oh, I thought he was in Sleepers in Seattle. Larry Sanders as himself. Entourage.

He was the one with the Shrek doll that got stolen. What a great plot So anyway People Every once in a while submit some music to play As my opening theme And a guy wrote to me on Twitter saying Please play this If I submit a Halloween version of the Douglas movies theme

Will you play it? And I said well I won't necessarily play it at the beginning of the show But I will play it in Halloween version of the Douglas movies theme, will you play it? And I said, well, I won't necessarily play it at the beginning of the show, but I will play it in the middle of the show, and then we will mock it. But not necessarily, you might like it. Let's go ahead and let's give it a listen. I thought you were going to say Jada Pickett Smith's vagina. That's what that sounds like.

The theme from Halloween and a lot of weird chanting. I thought you were going to say Jada Pinkett Smith's vagina. That's what that sounds like. The theme from Halloween and a lot of weird chanting. It was an effort. The guy did it. It's mostly the theme from Halloween, though. Yeah. No, that's the thing. When he said, if I submit a theme song that's got a Halloween feel to it, I didn't know he meant that he would just take someone else's music

and then throw... He took two songs. He took the Hard and Firm song and the Halloween music and jammed it together. Anyway, his name is Douglas Smith. No relation. And thank you for submitting that, Doug. Sarah, have you seen any movies lately? Two great movies.

Oh, here we go. Two recommendations from Sarah Silverman. Drive. Yeah. Loved it. I'm tired of talking about how much people love Drive. Did you love it? No.

I loved it. Really? I just thought it was all right. I thought it was kind of boring. If I had a pussy, it would have been wet. My ass is not wet. It was like a single tear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when I

read a Katherine Heigl script, you know. It had some cool stuff in it, but I didn't buy the overallness of it. But what's the other one? It was so badass. It was so cool. It was sort of badass. The other one. Albert Brooks. Shares the music, the person who did the music for them both.

Oh, yeah? Contagion. You love Contagion? I loved Contagion. I loved it. Welcome to being alone. You didn't like it? I didn't even see it.

I don't even care. Oh, see it. I didn't. I don't even give a shit about that. I wasn't excited about seeing it because I thought it would make me afraid of even care. Go see it. I don't even give a shit about that. I wasn't excited about seeing it because I thought it would make me afraid of touching things and it did. But it's actually

despite obviously it's horror, horrific horror. It gives you horror. It's a scary thought that this has happened before and may happen again. It's fun. No it isn't. It's a romp. It's fun. No, it isn't. It's a romp.

It's a good time at the movies. It's not a romp, but it's fun. It's like you're on the edge of your seat. It's like a thriller, figuring stuff out. And it's so many great actors. Does Gwyneth Paltrow come back? No, but they figure out where it all came from. It's awesome.

Matt Damon, and I always feel like I can't say anything because people are like, who's Matt Damon? But Matt Damon, separate from that, hours I spent with him. He's great, though. He is the best actor. He's like my favorite. Him and Ted Danson are my favorite male actors.

Have you seen the trailer for We Bought a Zoo? No. Matt Damon buys a zoo and it looks pretty awesome. This is the performance of a lifetime. Matt Damon in Contagion. Matt Damon in Contagion. Talented Mr. Ripley. Good Will Hunting.

So fucking good in that movie. I know, I'm just... It's like he's born again or something? No, because he's always incredible. But I'm just saying, he should get an Oscar for this. He was really funny on 30 Rock as that pilot. And it's interesting to me because

what does Matt Damon do to transform, to just play this person who's a real person? And these aren't based on real people. It's a made-up story. Yeah, we know how movies work. Some are true. Some are true. Sorry.

Sorry. I'm sorry. Welcome to How Do Movies Work. Why don't you go back to not India? Oh! What? Shiz. What, people?

That could be anywhere. I'm in not India. Aw. Ooh. Yeah'm in not India. Aww. Yeah, I smell good. Wait, let me just finish this. For those in the audience who don't know, Kamal is originally from Tallahassee. I thought you were going to say Taliban. That's what I heard.

I was like, whoa, that is not a country. He's from Tallahassee. It is a way of thinking, okay, Nick? This isn't the blue collar ideology. He's from Talabansi. It is a way of thinking. Okay, Nick? This isn't the blue collar I love movies. He's from, he's from Talabama. Oh.

Wait, can I just finish this point? Yes, please. I'm going to shut the F up. I don't know how this is. Quiet, Jordan. I just want, well, I don't know why

I want to say this. No, no, no. You were saying it's not based on real, a real story. No, no, no. I were saying it's not based on a real story. No, no, no. I'm not. I'm just saying.

And Matt Damon's really good at it. Right. They can interpret these people however they want. They're not playing like actual people. What's his face? Matt Damon. No. Jude Law.

Nothing against Jude Law, but he's got like a fake tooth, and then he's doing like an Australian accent to really stretch. And he's doing like an Australian accent to really stretch and he's doing all this stuff Matt Damon just like eats regular and grows out a $500 haircut into a regular haircut that's what that's the feeling you get that reminds me of my

Matt Damon didn't have to gain weight for the informant argument yeah but he doesn't have to be born identity body. He probably just goes, oh, I can just be a, I'm just playing a regular person.

Yeah, no, I would have been fine with that, but instead there's all that publicity about, I gained so much weight to do this. And it was like, that character could have been thin. Yeah. And there was never a moment where we were like, oh, fat guys. It wasn't a lot of fat jokes.

Or slightly fat guys. He wasn't even that fat. But anyway, I'm excited that you love Contagion because now I never had any enthusiasm for it. And now I have a little bit. Yeah. And I might check it out. I mean, I guess still keep your expectations low. Just because that's the best way to see any movie.

Roll of a lifetime! I want to see a remake of Contagion starring the Muppets with celebrity cameos. That would be so much fun to watch. You have AIDS. For those in podcast land, Sarah turned around and said that line. For those listening, yes.

I have a movie that I want to see. What is it? It's like a, from what I can tell, it's like a French existential movie called Jacques and Jill. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I think you're talking about Jack and Jill. Oh. Oh.

Oh, I thought it was like a great question of identity. Jackie Gilles. That's a good point, though, because when movies are foreign, they get a lot more leeway with corniness and super broad comediness. Yes, I agree. Yeah, Americans eat up those really corny French films. I don't know about that,

but thank you for saying stuff. I be Gilles Mou. I don't know. None of us saw that movie to judge it. It's probably great. I would like them to take... There's a scene in that where Jill is on a jet ski. I have one question first.

Is it two different people or is it a person like Mrs. Doubt firing it? No, it's... It's supposed to be his sister. It's no magic. No. It's just a normal woman who looks exactly like Adam Sandler.

Because they're brother and sister. And Al Pacino's got a crush on her. I could see that. Why wouldn't Adam's girl version of Adam be sexy too? What? Is it his character from Scent of a Woman? Yeah, yeah.

He's always like, show me your hoo-ha. That would be great though if actually Jack was, if they weren't brother and sister, but he fell in love with her. You know how Bugs Bunny, he falls in love with Bugs Bunny with a wig on? Bugs Bunny with a wig is sexy. I'm more of a Minnie Mouse kind of guy.

Me too. I like Launchpad McQueen. I like Launchpad McQuack. Where'd that Scott Pilgrim reference come from? So these t-shirts you guys brought, let me just quickly ask you about them before we play the Leonard Mullen game. What do they mean? Yours is the San Diego Diet?

Mine is the San Diego Diet. It's from the pilot of my television show That I'm going to start working on Called The Nick Show Crawl Is it really called that? Yeah And so it's a t-shirt from a sketch in it So if you get it, you literally

That's fun inside That's an inside shirt Some inside shit And yours is a video game reference, Kumail? Yeah, I do a podcast called The Indoor Kids About Video Games for Nerdist. And it is a Gears of War shirt. But you can't tell if you just look.

It just looks like a really douchey Ed Hardy shirt. So it's got a couple things going for it. Yeah, those are nice to wear if you need to go undercover. Yeah. All right, well, let's see the name tags we have in the audience. We've got What About Justin? There's Tim. There's Jordan.

Sarah, Kumail, and Nick, go pick a name tag you want to play for, and we'll get this game started. I got one. Oh, great. You got the Frisbee. Yeah, I got the Frisbee. Yeah, I got the Frisbee. Yeah, you love... What's it called when the hippies play Frisbee?

Ultimate, brah. Yeah. Sarah went with the It's It. From Steph, it's a delicious mint ice cream sandwich. Oh. Yeah, just smell the box. Smell it. And Kumail fell for the Jordan boxing glove. Just quickly, smell the box. Smell it. And Kumail fell for the Jordan boxing glove.

Just quickly, smell the box. That was one of my lines as the gynecologist to meet the fucker. That was your catchphrase for the movie? All right, we'll start with Sarah. Then we'll go to Nick and then to Kamil, since he's new. Sarah gets to pick the category.

Would you like Joey Kennedy 2011 suggested fruity movies, and those are movies where a fruit is named in the title. Example would be either Lemon Sky or Under a Cherry Moon. Are those movies? Yes, with fruits in the title. Another category suggested by atgirlsman would be girls, man. Movies with either girls or man in the title.

And then it's Joan Cusack's birthday today. Happy birthday, Joan. Great Joan Cusack's birthday today. Happy birthday, Joan. Great Joan Cusack. So films featuring Joan Cusack. Which one of those would you like, Sarah? They're all great. I'm going to say Fruit. Okay.

This movie's got Fruit in the title. It's from 2004. Leonard Maltin gives it three stars. It's from 2004. Leonard Maltin gives it three stars. He says about this movie that it's, there's this series of odd and unusual characters in it, and he says it's impeccably designed,

and that it is, oh, stick around for the ingenious, entertaining closing credits. That's a weird clue. And there are 16 names? Yeah, 16 names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Sarah? It starts in the bottom, Camille, just so you know.

Yeah, he knows. I can name it. It's glued at the bottom. Ten. Ten. Okay, she says 10 names and we go to Nick 9 strategy good work Kumail

Sarah name that movie interesting strategy I don't know if that that might pay off. All right, there's fruit in the title. Three stars.

2004. What was the other things that I said? And the eight names? Yeah, but there's 16 in the total. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. Here's your eight names. Cedric the Entertainer.

Uh-oh. Jeez. James Adams. Jane Adams. Jennifer Coolric the Entertainer. Uh-oh. Jeez. Jane Adams. Jennifer Coolidge. Craig Ferguson. Jamie Harris. Louise Guzman. Meryl Streep.

What? I know. It's weird, right? Billy Connolly. Catherine O'Hara. And that's eight, right? I think I may have given you nine on accident. Those are your names. Is this fruit in the title?

Yeah, I gave you nine names on accident. You got a bonus name, but it probably still won't help you. All of that combined together, I know if I was listening to it, I'd be incredibly confused. Meryl Streep I did not see coming. Do you have any idea? Cedric the Entertainer and Meryl Streep I did not see coming. Do you have any idea? Cedric the Entertainer and Meryl Streep were in a movie together? Yeah. It's called

Johnson Family Vacation. That doesn't have a fruit in it. 2004. I know I've definitely not seen this movie. Because you know Cedric's whole catalog. I sat next to him at an NBA game once, so... Dot, dot, dot. Yeah, I've made my own. No reason to finish that.

Yeah, I didn't know how to. Wait a minute. Oh, go ahead. What were you going to say? No, she's just going to try to help you in some way. She has to say if it's... I don't know where you're going with what you're going with. I don't want to do any boundaries, but...

Let's just say he doesn't know the answer. I don't know. And then I'll tell you what it is. It's called Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. Oh, fuck you. Oh, yeah, because of that fruit, lemony. Lemony. That is not a fruit, sir.

But my question is, if it's animated, is it animated? No. I probably won't tell you it's animated, but that's a good point. I'm still formulating my Meryl Streep, Emma Thompson joke. All right. So, so gets the point, everybody. Yeah. Way to go, Sarah. Who are you playing for? Lauren. You point, everybody. Yeah. Way to go, Sarah.

Who are you playing for? Lauren. You go, girl. Steph. Steph. In my head, it was Lauren. It's lemony, Snicket. That's even further away from being a fruit.

It's not lemony. Lemon. The word lemon is in it. No, it's lemony, isn't it? L-E-M-O-N is lemon. It's E? What kind of? I know I get high, Kumail, but.

And I know that I think Denver is a state, but other than that, I'm pretty good at this. Let's go ahead and start with Nick, because Sarah said to Kumail to name it, and then from Nick we'll go

to Sarah, because we changed the order around. Would you like to play one of these categories, Nick? At Dave V. VJ, D-A-Y-V-E-E VJ, suggested OMG as a category, and that's movies where someone in the movie plays

God. Also, it's Artie Lang's birthday today, so one of the four films that Artie Lang's birthday today So one of the four films That Artie Lang has been in And then Summer Blockbusters That's blockbusters that came out During a summer

Which one would you like? What would you choose Doug? Oh I'd go with If I were you With my knowledge My entire life experience I would go with OMG If I were you? With my knowledge, my entire life experience. I would go with...

OMG. Yeah. Okay. Alright. Thanks for letting me pick. Nobody's ever done that before. Two and a half stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie that has someone playing God in it. It's 1999.

He calls it ambitious. And he also says that the director also wrote the script. Ambitious, director wrote the script, two and a half stars, 1999. And there are 13 names. How many names are you going to get it in? 13. Nick says 13. We go to Sarah, who says? Nine. 13. Nix is 13. We go to Sarah, who says... 9.

I like that bid. Kumail? 99. Director wrote the movie. I'll go 6. What? I don't know what I'm doing The fact that you guys thought it was a ballsy move

Really terrifies me Name that movie Is it Bruce Almighty? Listen, you can't pre-guess I mean you can But then that would be your answer So you should probably listen to the six names Oh, right, I forgot

Let's hear the names Okay, Jennifer Anson but then that would be your answer so you should probably listen to the six names. Oh, right, I forgot. Let's hear the names. Okay, Jennifer Anson, Jim Carrey I'm kidding. Borgen Freeman Your six names are Bud Cort Janine Garofalo Alanis Morissette

George Carlin Jason Mewes, and Kevin Smith. Balls. What is it? Dogma? Dogma's correct. I knew it was. That's how this game is played, son.

Fuck everybody. That's good. Sometimes six names is plenty. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. Alanis Morissette played God in that movie. I know. I knew it was that.

All right. So Kumail's got... Don't smash Stephanie's... Stephanie's death. Unequivocally not Matt Damon's role of a lifetime. Yeah.

I bet he looks at it like that too. My bottom was dogma but then contagion came along. Everything's gonna be different. I haven't seen it. I don't know why I'm judging it like this. Yeah, you'd like it.

I would. I would like it. Sarah has a point. Camille has a point. Wait. What? Is that right? Yeah, that's right. That's right. And then we'll start with Nick because you were left out of that one, right? Sarah made Camille. I started it, but I'm... Who made Camille name it? Sarah, right?

Sarah did. Yeah, yeah. He did. I did. Oh, you did. I did. But in my mind, I'm you. So we start with Sarah, then.

We start with Sarah, and then we go in the other direction. We go to Nick from Sarah. And Sarah gets to pick a category. Between these possibilities. No, she didn't. That's movies where there's a contraction in the title. Down Under, that's movies with either down or under

in the title. No one has picked that for weeks, so it just keeps sitting there. And then horror movies, because this, of course, is Cocktober. You should pick horror because it's Halloween time. It, is Cocktober. You should pick horror because it's Halloween time.

It totally is Halloween time. What's the other one? In Christmas land. Down or Under? Down or Under is in the title, yeah. That one sounds very difficult. A dozen movies, maybe. What do you think, Sarah?

What's the first one? Contractions? Contractions Contractions in the title Down or under What are contractions? You should know You played a gynecologist Hey

Hey Hi And now sadness I don't even remember what we're waiting for now Go horror movies Which category Sarah? Horror movies Horror movies

You just got bullied into that by your competitor No it's okay This horror film is from 1980 Leonard Maltin gives it one and a half stars He says about this movie That it rates higher than Bomb simply because it's better than the sequel. I don't know why that would be a reason to rate the movie the way that he did, but that's what he says. Higher than what? He rates it higher than Bomb.

Bomb is the lowest rating he gives. And he says it's simply because it's slightly better than the next. So he reviewed it after. The sequel. He reviewed it late. He must have, yes. Maybe's slightly better than the next. So he reviewed it after. He reviewed it late. He must have, yes. Maybe he was on a second marriage and just was like. A lot of things going on.

Yeah. And he also says about it that this movie was a box office smash. There are seven names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Sarah? Silverman. Seven. Okay, you want to go to Nick? Name that movie.

You're joking, right? She's going to know it. That's the weirdest thing to do. Really? I've been yelling at you. That just happened last week. I had to yell at somebody for saying. I'm un-naming that movie to Sarah.

Why are you pulling him out of me naming that movie? All of the names? All right, here we go. You can't change the rules of the game to suit you, Doug. No, but you can explain to the guests when they're really fucking up. Maybe it's all part of my plan. Okay. Let's see if she can do it.

She's going to get it. Everyone in this room is going to know it, except for maybe Sarah. I know. I'm going to get it. So don't yell out. Kevin Bacon. Oh. See, people already know it.

Janine Taylor, Mark Nelson, Lori Beltran, Harry Crosby, Adrian King, and Betsy Palmer. Somebody might not be such a dummy after all. Yeah, when your number one is a Betsy Palmer. Kevin Bacon's the lowest. This is totally unknown. Oh, hold on. He was just on

the radio talking about stuff. Was it NPR? And he was saying when he was in the first movie. It's not Footloose. Oh yeah, it was Footloose

that he was talking about. Alright. I'm just going to have to say a horror movie that maybe came out when I was that age. Betsy Palmer. I mean, the only ads I remember... I know you guys are all laughing because you're all nerds that know this.

You don't have to be that nerdy to know what horror film from, what was the year? 1980. 80, stars Kevin Bacon and Betsy Palmer. nerdy should know what horror film from, what was the year? 1980. Kevin Bacon and Betsy Palmer. I don't even know who Kevin Bacon is. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Wow. Is it Christine the Horror Car? No, it isn't. Also, that's not the name of a movie. Is there a movie called Christine the Horror Car? But Christine would have like Keith Gordon's name in there

because he was the guy who owned the car. He'd be in the seven names, I bet. Okay. Yeah. What's the answer, audience? Friday the 13th. Friday the 13th, Sarah. And I'm happy for you guys.

We got a three-way tie, ladies and gentlemen. No, it's fine. You were great. Friday the 13th is a terrible movie, and it's fine that you haven't watched it. Yeah, yeah, it's okay that you haven't seen it, but, you know. All I remember was the commercials for that movie Magic. Christine the Horrid Car. Wasn't there a Magic. Christine the Horror Car. Wasn't there a movie

called Christine? There was. Yeah, yeah. Starring Keith Gordon and it was based on Stephen King. It had a horror car in it. And it had a car

that killed people. It was the car. Wasn't that Herbie fully loaded? No. When he's fully loaded he fucks people up. That was a whore

in a car. Yeah. Oh. Lindsay Lohan joke, everybody. It was right there, Doug. It wasn't like I was like, I have to come up with a great Lindsay Lohan joke. Leave her alone. She has no one.

All right, so... Family. Nice move there, Nick Kroll. Very strategic. There you go. No bigs. You won the point. Sarah had to name it.

We start with Kumail. This is very close. And then we move to Sarah. Kumail gets to pick the category. Would you like... Oh. Edgar hasn't seen it. That category is movies that Edgar Wright has not seen.

And he's seen a lot of movies. But he showed me a list of movies he hasn't seen it. That category is movies that Edgar Wright has not seen. And he's seen a lot of movies. But he showed me a list of movies he hasn't seen, and I picked one. Definitely not picking that one. Okay. So let me give you a couple more to choose from. Was it Ordinary People? I bet he's seen that.

What about Hot Fuzz? Once he was finished editing it, he never looked at it again. You can go with Joan Cusack or Artie Lang. Who are in those movies? There's movies that they're in, yes. Joan Cusack?

Or Artie Lang? Yeah, or movies Edgar hasn't seen. Joan Cusack's in the house. I'll go with... What do you guys think? What do you think, Sarah? I'd go Cusack. You shouldn't ask Sarah what she thinks.

That's not strategic. Well, Artie, it's going to either be beer... Oh. Let's not start narrowing it down. Let's do Joan Cusack. Let's do Joan Cusack. Okay, Joan Cusack. People are happy about that decision 1990

Three stars from Leonard I might go three and a half or four Yeah, I like this movie He says about this movie That He says good moments abound That's not vague What year is it, 90? He says, good moments abound. That's not vague.

Wait, yours is 90? Yeah. Oh, that movie in 90 that came out that had good moments in it. Yeah. The clues don't help, Kamau. That's the idea. And I don't want to give it away with these clues. Ultimately, the film offers a good cry.

Yeah. And he lists six names. Okay. And one of them might be Joan Cusack. I don't know how big her part was in it. I mean, I do know, but I'm not going to say. Six names. 1990? How many?

I'll say six. All right. Then we go to Nick. So there's an interesting aspect of playing a game. It's like playing poker where if you just stay out of hands too long then you get bored and you just start playing hands that you're not supposed to play.

Yeah, yeah. You play shitty starting cards. Right. So I'll say I can name it in five. Four. Name that movie, Sarah. Okay. Sorry to jump right on that. No, thank you.

I just wanted to get involved. I have no fucking idea what movie it is. You also have no chance of winning now, Nick. We'll see. Nick has a team of lawyers finding every loophole possible. I'm terrified right now. What powers do you possess?

This is a terrible waste of them. All right, Sarah, you get four. Here's your four names, Sarah. Kathy Bates. Charlie Cosmo. Cosmo, I'm sorry. Sorry to the whole Cosmo family. Chris O'Donnell and Joan Cusack.

You've worked with Chris O'Donnell and Cusack. They were in a movie together. Good cry. Cusack. They were in a movie together. Good cry. A good cry. A good cry. Then there's two more people there, Bill, above them. Wow.

It's definitely not. Tell us all the things it's not. It's not Let the River Run. I'm not going to say one way or the other. No things it's not It's not Let the River Run I'm not going to say one way or the other No it's not I meant Working Girl I was thinking of the song I played Melanie Griffith's socks in that movie

Has the name of the movie been mentioned tonight? Just in conversation? Yeah I don't think so I mean one of the words has come up I think tonight. Just in conversation? Yeah. I don't think so. I mean, one of the words has come up, I think.

Is it called Life as We Know It? That's a tearjerker. For me. That's a, honestly, that movie was a cumjerker.

I cried. Cumjerker? Yeah. I cried twice. When I read the script and then when I watched it. Chris O'Donnell is in it, yes. Chris O'Donnell is

fourth build after Joan Cusack and it was all the way back in 1990. I can't believe this. Does it take place in a school? That's a good first question. That's good. I don't even hear. We're not supposed to get questions

though, Camille. I'm just trying to support you, Sarah. I'm so bummed. I'm sorry. I know I'm going to kick myself, but I don't. I wish I knew. What are the other names? Wait a second. Try and trick them.

It's so natural. Oh, sorry. I keep shutting up. That's the charm that served her right into the Muppets movie. Can I take your order? You have AIDS. Is that what you say in it? No, I say table for one. Table for two.

Table for AIDS? Table for two, I say. That's it. Okay, so you don't know it. All right. You're not going to pull it out of nowhere. But maybe if I tell you the last two names you will The last two names are

Men Don't Leave What? What? No Doug just left I was just thinking about that movie Jessica Lange I was just thinking about that movie

Wow Sarah's our winner That is a movie! Jessica Lange. I was thinking about that movie. Wow. Sarah's our winner with Men Don't Leave. I love that movie. Wow. Wow. Wow. I'm very sorry.

Oh my God. I love that movie so much. Ironically, that was also the last line that I said as the gynecologist. Men don't leave. That was a super last minute pull out. Wow. Very impressive. What happened? I feel so happy that I'm going to remember why I'm so happy and then be like, oh.

Like, I feel so happy, you know? Yeah, you feel great and then then you realize that nothing really happened. Like, what was I so excited about? But it's fun to win. It's fun to win. Hey, Jordan, you want to come write down a shithead for me to name at the end of the show? And who are you playing for there, Nick? Kala.

Kala, could you come do it, too? Does that pen not work? How come Steph doesn't get one? I'll give Kala a better pen because she won the prizes oh this is a you know Sarah that was amazing

it's like a backup prize have you seen this movie I haven't seen it Mendo Leave it's a good movie I was just thinking about this movie because I was thinking

about Jessica Lange because I was watching one of my new favorite shows American Horror Story is it good it's awesome yeah Jessica Lange is in that

and she's supposedly great in it and she was I and she's supposedly great in it. And she was in Men Don't Leave. And Chris O'Donnell was like her son. And my favorite Joan Cusack line in that movie is, she's like a nurse that kind of comes on to Chris O'Donnell kind of weirdly. He's like a teenager. And she says to him at one point, I'll get you some juice.

And just the way she says it is hilarious. I remember exactly where I was when I watched hilarious. I'll get you some juice. I remember exactly where I was when I watched it. I watched it on VHS. Recent? VHS is in a place. Yeah, where were you? It was a boyfriend's apartment and there was no heat

and we both had those like cocoon sleeping bags and we just slept side by side in them. So this was like a pretty snoggy world. Yeah. Anything you want to plug before we go, Nick Kroll? Yeah, I have the League on FX every Thursday

at 10.30 and the DVD for my Comedy Central special, Thank You Very Cool, is out now so people can buy it at Amazon. Awesome. Kumail? Tell your face. Listen to my podcast, The Indoor Kids,

on Nerdist, and I'll be in Portlandia. I think it starts January. Yeah. Sarah. Muppets comes out soon. When does Take This Waltz come out? Don't know?

It's not looking. Oh, it might not come out? No, it is coming out in Canada and France. So it's not coming out. Maybe America. Maybe. It's got to come out in America. It's supposed to be really good.

I heard it. Did it go over well at the Toronto International Film Festival? Yeah. All these people wanted to buy it. And then what happened? Just kidding. Okay. No, but I don't know.

I mean, you know, it's probably so talented. All right. It's good. Seth Rogen's incredible. I'm so totally naked. Yeah. Still.

Sarah's naked. But like this. That's a shame that this country doesn't get to see you naked. Just standing there like that. Yeah. That's sexy enough for me. No't get to see you naked. Just standing there like that. That's sexy enough for me. No, it isn't. You'd be surprised.

Plenty of teenage boys, that'll be enough. It's funny, Sarah made this point because it's like... Sarah Pauly, the director? Yeah, oh. I thought you referred to yourself. Like an athlete. Oh, Sarah just made this point to me recently. Sarah gets 110%. It's so true, though. Sarah just made this point to me recently. Sarah gives 110%.

It's so true, though. Sarah wants to thank God for winning this. It's about Sarah. But what did she say to you? No, I was just saying she made an interesting point, which is like you only see nudity, you only see women naked in movies in a sexualized way, but women every day are naked with each other

getting changed or showering at the Y or whatever yeah that's totally sexy to me or women showering no when you see it it's so taboo it's jarring it's called slump porn yeah bad posture porn

yeah as long as you're hunched over when you're working it it's all good oh I saw this thing this chick with scoliosis last night oh my god

her back was like a snake American Horror Story and Prime Suspect are my two new faves and I am liking Ringer I like Maria Bello. You like Ringer? I couldn't get into Ringer.

Ringer's fun. What about Revenge? You'd probably like Revenge. I'm dabbling in Revenge, but it's a little... Is American Horror Story one story or all different stories?

I can't wait to have you guys back on Doug Loves TV. Sorry. I'll be at Comedy Mix in Vancouver, Canada on October 27th.

And as always, Terry Polo is a shithead. Oh, as always. And the LAPD is a shithead. No, I disagree. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.