Doug Loves Movies - Scott Aukerman, Kate Micucci, and Sean Jordan Guest

Episode Date: June 9, 2011

Comedians Scott Aukerman, Kate Micucci, and Sean Jordan battle for Leonard Maltin Game supremacy in Round 2 of the Tournament of Championships. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, candy candy sticks He sleeps with 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth There's still not more that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody Is it just me or was it extra dark when I came out this time? Hey, everybody. Is it just me, or was it extra dark when I came out this time? Like, I was extra like, oh, I really have to wait for the lights to come on before I'll even know where my chair or the table is.

And I certainly won't be able to find my notes. But I've already managed to get totally wet from my sweating bottle. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you once again from the UCB Theater before Comedy Bang Bang in front of a live name tag-bearing audience. Let's see those name tags. Whip them out.

That guy's got a piece of paper. There's a lot of people with just a piece of paper. Ray just wrote it down on a piece of notepaper. But there's a clapboard up there. That looks pretty good. God hates what? God hates Alex. I'm not going to ask you about your sexual proclivities, Alex.

There's Jenna. This is a great one. It's a big piece of paper and then tiny letters in the middle. Steve Smith. But you know what? You're disqualified because we don't want last names. You're not disqualified.

It doesn't matter. I don't decide. Looking back, I make some pretty smart decisions for a dumb person because from the very beginning I was just like, I'll let the guests pick the name tag. So it's never

on me that your name tag doesn't get picked because it's so shitty and stupid. Or it's amazingly creative and my guests just decide to choose otherwise. You know, it's all up to their whims. So good luck to everybody, and thank you all for doing that. I actually do appreciate that.

When I go out and do the road shows, and we have a big, huge audience, and they all whip out the name tags, I always think of Los Angeles, because you guys, I said it kind of as a joke, and then you actually started doing it. So you get the credit for getting the ball rolling on that. I mean, I don't know why anyone would want credit for that.

But it's June 7th, Two Oceans 11. I got a tweet from somebody complaining about, oh, when this year's over, I'm going to be so glad to not hear Two Oceans 11 anymore. And I immediately wrote back to him, yeah, well, next year is Two Oceans 12, you idiot. And the other thing that irritated me was I'm tired of hearing that joke. It's not a joke. It's a turn of phrase that is cute

or makes you smile at best. I know what's a joke and what's not a joke. I also know that calling the special episodes boner editions, people are always like, oh, did you mean bonus? What?

No, I didn't mean bonus. I'm an adult man who thinks it's funny to say boner edition. I'm an adult man. Why say in one word What you can say in two Last week I was in Austin

Awesome Texas That's what I wrote Awesome Texas Cause that's what I call Austin And I had a Fuckdiculous good time Over there at the Cap City Comedy Club

And on 101X With Deb and Jason And KLBJ With Dale and Bob. They've got their own podcast now called Taint and Teabag. And it's going to be... Yeah, right? That's a good title. Taint and Teabag.

And it's going to be on the... I think it's going to be on the Kevin Smith network of podcasts. But I'm going to go back to Austin soon and be a guest on a taping in front of an audience there. So if you're listening in Austin, keep an ear and eye out for that. Upcoming dates also include Charleston, South Carolina at the American Theater on Saturday, June 11th.

I'm going to be in Sunnyvale, California at Rooster Teeth Feathers on June 15th. Denver Comedy Works June 18th at 420. And all of my tour dates are on douglovesmovies.com. And my shows that are coming up June 23rd through 30th are going to be filmed for an upcoming movie that I will tell you more about later. And regarding one of the disagreements that Sam the Ma'am Levine and I had on last week's ep,

Dr. Lecter, Dr. Lecter, what's her name, Jodie Foster, when she's on the phone with Dr. Lecter, he most definitely hangs up the phone. He hangs it up, but there's no dial tone,

so we were both sort of right on that one. And then, I know, nobody gives a shit about that one. When I wrote it down I was like, this is really funny because nobody cares about this and yet I'm going to clear it up. Even though no one is worried about it at all. But then the other thing is the movie Everything Must Go

was in zero theaters in Los Angeles while we were playing in theaters now. still no excuse for how terrible I was at the game, but I love Little Wolverine and everything's good. Sam will be appearing soon in round three

of the Tournament of Championships. But first, it's time for round two you guys. Please welcome Sean Jordan, Scott Aukerman, and Kate Micucci. I was telling them backstage that the applause for listeners goes on for a really long time because the guests, they're backstage kind of enjoying each other.

Sexually. A lot of hand jobs. It's fun, guys. Good times, good times. So then when I introduce them, it always takes a little while for them to come out, so the applause goes until they come out. So every time it seems like you guys get applauded.

Great story. I acted like I didn't know where I was going just so I could be after Scott. So there it is. All right. Well, you know, it's an interesting development that the guests have been sitting down strategically. Not unlike being at a poker table, you want to be next to the right person when it's being passed around during the Leonard Maltin game. I saw Leonard today and then didn't say hi to him. I still don't feel... I still have so much respect for the man.

Where did you see him? I saw him... Well, I'll tell you in a little bit. Let's see. Yeah, that's going to come up shortly. That is a list. It's on my piece of paper. What a cliffhanger.

Yeah, people are going to listen to all of this one for sure. I want to know where he hangs out. We did a 90-minute episode episode last week and at the end I said who the shitheads were. Rene Russo and Jo Beth Williams. So totally deserved on both of their parts. And no, completely random. But I

said, I wonder how many people listen to the whole 90 minutes. You know, like how many people actually hang in there. So if you do, write to me on Twitter and tell me who the shitheads are. So I got all these responses on Twitter. It must have been at least 15. No, I got a shit ton of responses

saying Joe Beth Williams and Rene Russo are shitheads. And I just started to worry that either of those ladies is on Twitter or they're children. And they're going to be like, why is this shithead shitstorm surrounding my mother? What did she do?

Actually, both of those ladies are barren, so... Don't worry about it. Could you imagine, I can't have children and I've been called a shithead? The ultimate indignity. Oh, God. So, Sean, you advanced to this round

in the Doug Loves Movies Live in Portland show that we did. Yeah, that Jennifer Love Hewitt movie. That sealed it. What was the actual name of it? Heartbreakers. Heartbreakers, yeah. You knew too much about Heartbreakers, which says a lot about you.

I was on a flight recently with Jennifer Love Hewitt. She was in coach and I was in first, so I tweeted that that was a small victory. And then, of course, every other dude on Twitter tweeted back, yeah, but you'd still fuck her. Or, oh, yeah, but the guy that sat next to her had a better seat than you did. All that kind of shit.

And you know what? I mean, she's still a very pretty girl. That's it. She just is. She's just a good looking girl. She might be a terrible actor. Yeah, but she was dressed like a... Prostitute.

No. I wish. She was dressed like... Like a mom? Yeah, like a Carol Burnett character. You know what I mean? The one with the drapes? Like the lady that sweeps up at the end of her show.

She just looked like a crazy... She had a hat on and a blouse that had way too many colors on it. And she just seemed like kind of... I don't know. She's probably a nice person. Let's hope so. Yeah, what's my fucking point? I have't know. She's probably a nice person. Let's hope so. What's my fucking point? I have no idea.

You won for that movie because you... Because I have a Jennifer Love Hewitt lower back tat like I said earlier. With all of her movies going down my right thigh. But Heartbreakers was definitely like the, that was the,

if you want to, you know, just look at Jennifer Love Hewitt and enjoy her at her peak, it was probably that movie. Well, it's like

nobody caught this, but Jason Lee's in that movie and I had prefaced that by saying, I'm going to pick this category because Jason Lee was in a movie with her and I skateboard

and it just so happened to be that movie and nobody even caught that. so there it is right there. Yeah, well, I certainly don't catch anything. I'm trying to host a show. I'm not listening to what you're saying. So you can hear a recreation, or the actual thing, actually, on iTunes. If you go in there to the comedy album section and get Doug

Loves Movies live in Portland, it's two bucks. You can also get it on AST Records for those of you that aren't into iTunes. And we're doing, Sean and I are doing a show together in Sioux Falls. What's the name of the place? The Orpheum? The Orpheum in Sioux Falls. That sounds like the biggest theater in all of whichever Dakota it is.

There's two escalators in the whole state and one of them's at the Orpheum, I think. I can't wait to ride it. There's no bullshit. There's one at the airport and I can't think of a single other escalator.

If it's broken, it's just stairs, of course. Mitch Hedberg, rest in peace. I heard about that guy. Yeah, he's the best. I heard he was funny. Scott Aukerman. You should check it out,

his stuff. Speaking of funny. It's available on the internet. Scott Aukerman You should check it out His stuff Speaking of funny It's available on the internet Scott Aukerman You Rest in peace You got You arrived here

Through the 12 Guests of Christmas episode Yeah Where you won outright Yeah I did Yeah you won the whole thing And I got it in zero Or negative two

I don't remember Oh you did both In the same show So I even probably said At the time You qualified twice Yeah, I did. And I got it in zero. Or negative two, I don't remember. Oh, you did both in the same show. So I even probably said at the time, you qualified twice, but you're one person. How dumb is it that they're letting two people compete on The Voice? So dumb. It's ridiculous.

How dumb? I knew you'd agree with me, and then we could just move on. Because people hate it when we stop talking about movies. Kate, how did you advance to this stage of the game? It was with the movie Cradle Will Rock. Do you remember that day? Classic.

We were doing the podcast at the studio. Yeah, it was at the Never Not Funny Studios. And I was so nervous. That movie has like 24 names listed. Yeah, and I had just seen it over christmas and i just kind of knew what it was and lucked out well so would you say that was probably one of your worst christmases ever i can't stand that movie but i got a lot of pushback that day from everybody saying oh it's not so bad i like the songs though one time i said to jack black

who i've talked to on occasion, I said to him, I was like, wow, that Cradle of a Rock, what the fuck happened in that movie? He goes, I was in it and I don't know. I probably shouldn't rat him out like that, yeah. He'll never be on this show, so we don't have to reconcile that. Why am I looking at my phone?

I don't know. I was just to pull up the questions on there. I'm just checking the time, dude. Have you guys been to the movies lately? Yeah. What did you see that you're so excited about? I saw Super 8. It's really good. When did you see that?

Where? When? When? I saw it like a month ago. Holy shit. I saw it today. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That's like a month later than me. Interesting. Yeah. That's why I was totally jealous. What calendar are we using for this month? Yeah. I was totally jealous that you saw it so much earlier, that you enjoyed it so much earlier. Yeah.

It was really good. It's hard to talk about without spoiling it, though, right? I don't see that I even saw it. I think I can talk about it now. I haven't seen it. Well, it comes out Friday, the same day that this plops. So if everybody here could just be cool.

Yeah. And let's talk about the entire plot. And not quote any of us. And you guys are cool, right? First of all, the secret, because they're promoting it

like it's got a secret. The secret is it's a piece of shit. But also, I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I thought it'd be fun to put some awful publicity

out there. No, it is quite entertaining, but the thing that I could not get out of my head is it's just elements of Jaws, Close Encounters, and E.T. It's like he's doing a pastiche. Of Spielberg stuff,

but picking the right stuff and making an entertaining movie. Me, me, me, me, me, me. Well, that was what he was trying to do. We're both right. We're both right. Yeah, I think that's what he was trying to do. J.J. Abrams is a very talented dude.

Although I was watching it kind of going, you know, I don't know how much respect you can get for making, basically ripping off Spielberg. Like every frame is from another Spielberg movie, but Scorsese does that with movies all the time. I don't know. I enjoyed it. I liked it. But don't go expecting a secret,

because there really is no secret. There's no M. Night Shyamalan bullshit. He does pop out at the end and just kind of waves. Talk to you later. I've kind of half-watched the trailer, so I really went into it reasonably cold. The halves between my fingers that I could see. But I just saw stuff like Kyle Chandler

and it looks like the whole town's evacuating, and I was just like, this is awesome. It's just like close encounters, but with other stuff, a different thing going on. It's just like, you know, close encounters, but with other stuff, with a different thing going on. It's not necessarily Aliens from Outer Space, necessarily. Down to the dialogue in the family scenes and the dialogue in the cars and stuff, all the overlapping dialogue that Spielberg used to do

in the three movies and the chaotic family with a lot of, yeah. Yeah, like movies with a bunch of kids. They should not be waiting their turn to say their line. They should all talk at the same time. And I don't know if you notice this, but there's... Like we do. And the ladies of The View. There is twice in that movie that he does the really funny trick

of in the middle of a boring sentence, something surprising happens. Because most movies, when something surprising happens, it's like, so anyway, what are we going to do today? Boom! But he does it where he goes, so the other day I, boom! I wouldn't see it coming in either case, but

yeah, it's got like it's, it reminded me of Jaws in that I haven't. And there's me of Jaws in that I haven't. And there's a giant shark in it. I haven't. No, but like it's got the same kind of jump factor as the, you know, Ben Gardner's head appearing in the boat in Jaws. Like it's got those moments where, you know, it's not necessarily going to take the story forward, but it's also not a fucking cat jumping out of nowhere. It's always something

that's of some sort of relevance instead of just trying to make you jump. And it's really, it's really well done. The kids, the kid acting.

The kids are great. Are so good. And I thought I was going to be annoyed by the fanning, the youngest fanning. Is she the youngest fanning? There might be more fannings.

You know how those, you know how those acting families are. There's always more fannings. You know how those acting families are. There's always more fannings. When it's a stage mom squeezing them out, they get as many little talented fuckers

as they can. Her real mom is Renee Russo, so there won't be any more fannings, actually. She's barren and will not produce any more fannings. I just wanted to bring

that up again. Dakota's always been a good actress You know I don't have any issues with Dakota But Elle Fanning is like from another planet She's a savant in this It's amazing So gifted It really is amazing

Yeah She has some seeds in the movie Where she like turns emotions and attitudes On a dime in a very natural way I mean I'm sure they cut between takes. I don't want to let you in on the movie-making process, but that's another person.

You're right. On one of them, I did actually think, oh, they could have just shot the one thing and then said, now let's shoot from another angle to how you suddenly change to another but it's still very good. She does a good job. I'm proud of her. Leonard Maltin was at the screening today, and I didn't even say anything to him.

So that's where you saw him. I saw him. We can all exhale. Yes, Angela Bassett can finally exhale. Was she in that? I was hoping she was one of the four. Okay, good. So, I got my groove back.

Listen. Taye Diggs had a hand in that. Or Tommy Davidson. You got a whole fist in it. Oh, I just want to... I forgot to say, it's week three of me not seeing Pirates 4 when a stranger calls. And I still feel great about it.

I still am leading a normal, productive life. I am not going to see that either. I made a decision at one point. I was like, oh, I don't actually really care anymore. Yeah, when you hear it's not as good as 1, but it's kind of better than 3, you go, oh, then I'm good, because one was good for what it was and then I was alright with walking away and I made the mistake of going to Oliver.

Those two and three were like nap movies. I'd wake up and go, oh, they're still talking about the plot? Back to sleep. I guess we should play the Leonard Maltin game oh my time to get into it

yeah we start a little late here tonight at the UCB so I'm I'm confused about about how much time we have

that's what I'm talking about Shaw just Shaw just laughed because whenever when all the name tags come out it is kind of

alarming oh my god it's kind of alarming. Oh, my God. It's kind of, oh, Kate's got a videotape with her name on it. I see that. Justin's got a shirt that says Justin on it. Right. Did you just go somewhere and buy that? I'm named after a boot.

Oh, it's a boot. I like the way he said it, too. I'm named after a boot. Hello, Dr. Barton. I'm named after a boot. Hello, Dr. Barton. Hey, is your name Utah? No, it's just on your shirt.

I'm named after a steak. Goddamn. I wore this because I know you're a fan of Point Break and Johnny Utah. That was his name in that, right? Got such a little reaction, I thought I whiffed it. No, you home run. All right.

So, extra long, Leonard Maltz. Infield home run, though. First person. That has nothing to do with movies. We're blowing it. First person. I wrote fist person, but you know what I mean. First person.

First person to three. Taye Diggs. He was the fist person. but you know what I mean. First person to three. Taye Diggs, he was the fist person. We established that earlier. I haven't seen it yet. When I see X-Men First Class, I'm going to ask at the box office for X-Men fist ass. Just because it's fun. Because they just give you your ticket

and rarely comment on it. They know which one you meant. And they don't want to don't have that discussion with the man in the raincoat in the black socks which is what I'm gonna wear to that movie that Jennifer Lawrence have you seen it yeah that's man how is it you know it's weird it's getting such great reviews I did not care for it I thought it was silly I mean X-Men come on maybe I'm not the target demo

it's silly did you guys see the Skywriters on the weekend with the X in the sky yeah yeah they kept putting X's up there it took me a long time

to catch on really I did not know what was going on did you just put it together just now you thought the sky was dead I was like

they're telling us something. There's a big porno being filmed in the sky. First person to three advances to the finals to be done at a location and date to be determined once we have three finalists. So far, Paul F. Tompkins is qualified.

He's good. Who will be next? I'm trying to build up the drama. Are there any time travelers here? Like on The Voice. Okay, on The Voice, does it bother you? These are the kinds of things Scott and I talk about that we just don't have the time these days.

What's The Voice? The Voice is where four singing superstars perform in front of judges, sit in Benson Interruption reject chairs, and they have their backs to the singers.

They just plate it up like it's going to be all about their voice. And then they turn around and they decide if they want the singer on their team. But then the next stage

is battles, and then the next stage after that's going to be performances. And my whole point is that the premise, the voice, is already out the window a few weeks into the show. Does that bother going to be performances. And my whole point is that the premise, the voice, is already out the window

a few weeks into the show. Does that bother you, hot saucerman? Yes, I feel. But I had heard that about the show, that in other countries, the format sagged in the middle, much like Zach Galifianakis' bed. They're very good friends. They're very good friends.

They're very good friends. Which makes it even worse when you think about it. You go out of your way to burn him. That had nothing to do with it. Could you just not think of someone else that was a little overweight that everyone would know? I made that joke about someone else today and I didn't want to say who that was.

So I picked a guy who does not mind being called oh he doesn't mind me call fat no in fact and when we do the Ferns episodes he insists upon it okay good yes Scott is if you don't know Scott's the behind-the-scenes maestro is that the right word maestro yes he he coordinates and I directed the last directs the thing yeah so between two ferns you know Kate of course is part of the amazing comedy music Dio Dio she's in Dio songs they're called very delic. They're called Ronnie and James. No, they're Garfunkel and Oates.

Yeah. And Sean likes to skateboard. Now let's play the game. Let's play what we came here to play. I'm not going to pick anyone who lowered their game tag. I'm not either. Yeah. That's exactly what I was looking for.

You got to pick the people who have strong arms that hold their sign up that do not try to take rest periods. It's very intense. So if each of you could go out into the crowd and physically take your name tag that you want to play for

and bring it back here to the table, I will start to tell everybody what we're going to be playing for. It's an amazing array. Some guy just did a Mickey Mouse voice that is certainly something he does to lure children into, no. That's hilarious. Guys, I just broke... Holy shit. I just broke the sign. Oh, my God.

Joe's sign fell apart. We're just going to have to call him Jay. Joe, get up here. Joe made a sign of Legos, including a little Lego man. And Kate picked it, but then she broke it. Classic.

But I'm really good at Legos, so I'm going to fix it for you, Joe. Thank you. No, it's an awesome sign. I'm sorry I broke it. Use your Lego skills to fix it. Scott will help you. Scott put down his aviators to help you. He thought he was coming down for a discussion

of Top Gun. You wait until this light goes in his eyes. They're going right back on. Get that laser beam out of here. So Scott is playing for Elena. And Elena made a clapboard that says, Doug loves movies, and says that I'm the director and the cameraman,

which that is what I intend to be someday. And is today the 8th? 7th. Today's the 7th. Why'd you put the 8th on there? Look, I'm gonna fuck with that stoner. I was told it was the 8th today. I was told it was the 8th.

A very good source said it was the 8th. He was selling me a lot more than an 8th at the time and I smoked all of it. I was looking at a picture of a kidnap victim and they had a newspaper that said the 8th. Okay, so a kidnap victim. I get it.

So you're playing for Elena and Scott, I mean, Sean is playing for Hans who has a Rambo figure with his, I assume, Hans' face. Shouldn't it have been Hans Gruber from Die Hard with his face on it? Yeah, Hans, you blew it. You got selected. False pretenses.

Yeah, with the wrong. So whoever wins tonight is going to get a copy of McGruber. I love that movie. that movie is so funny that's what Sean brought I'm a MacGruber champion I try to get people to watch it especially dudes some girls might be like eh

but most dudes love it Scott brought a The Wolf Dead t-shirt you can get those new on Earwolf.com that's a men's large so for a regular man or a fat chick. But that's Nick Kroll

at the end of every Earwolf show going, the wolf did, right? Yes, sir. I figured that out. I'm good with the voices. The V8 Juice commercials are Judd Apatow's wife, Leslie Mann. I brought a copy of

Doug Benson's Professional Hum Leslie Mann. I brought a copy of Doug Benson Professional Humoridian. I brought... Somebody made these for me in Austin. I don't know who their name is, but they made a bunch of them, so I'm going to give them out every week for a while. Hello, my name is name tag with the Doug Loves Movies logo on it,

so you could wear that next week and not get picked. I don't know why it wouldn't really help you. I brought a Woot Monkey for the crowd and a Woot Monkey for the winner.

Talk amongst ourselves? Why? Because you... I'm going to play with the smokey. Uh-huh. I saw Drive Angry last night.

That was fun. Oh, yeah. We had a Drive Angry screening at CineFamily. Some people came out. And Billy Burke from the movie was there. And he had a good sense of humor about it. And Anthony Jeselnik and Steve Agee and I.

And we're going to keep doing those like once a month. Scott Aukerman actually got me started over there at CineFamily. So appreciate that, Scott. What else is there to say about it i wanted to is it bad to say what anthony said during the movie is like my favorite line no i love it when because it was a private thing like only people who had tickets got to hear it so like uh share with the world someone's beating the shit out of his girlfriend and so uh nick cage comes up and he beats his ass and then he beats him right into a wall and then he falls and the air conditioner

falls on his face and Anthony goes he just needed to cool off. It was like the funniest thing I've ever heard. I was really stoked on that. That was pretty good, yeah. That was really funny. Kate McEuchie brought art from her own wall.

She pulled it off of her wall. That she made. That she made it herself. But how self-indulgent is that to have my own art on my own wall? That's how self-indulgent. That's self-indulgent. Oh, my God. Joe's Lego thing fell apart again.

Now he's going to be called J.E. It's another. What's up, J.E.? It's going to be fine. Oh,. What's up, J.E.? You are good with Legos. Thank you. I was into Legos for a really long time. Like, way too long.

True story. I had a Lego train in my college dorm. Wow. That's too old for Legos. I know. Joe is learning a valuable lesson tonight. Too old for Legos. The Joe, whatever his last name is, story.

This painting doesn't really make much sense. Well, I like your paintings. It looks like it's a turtle with wings. Yeah. Or maybe in a duck face. The guy tried to make his turtle like the turtle from Super Mario Brothers, but it's a real turtle and it's going to die when it lands.

The glue just didn't do the trick. Oh, yeah. So there's a kind of a sadness about this painting. And it says, put wings and a beak on his turtle. Didn't fly. He loved Nintendo too much. Yeah.

So that's going to be... Someone's going to win that. Hey, Doug. From Kate. And you can put it on your wall. Or here's a fun thing. Give it back to her. So she can put it back on her wall.

There's a space on my wall right now. Doug? Yes? I feel like this podcast is sagging in the middle, much like Zach Koffenegger's bed. I heard he was overweight. Oh, I forgot to pull the cord first

before I shot it out into the... Get in the fucking bag. Shut up. Yeah. I travel with them now, and going through airport security is always a lot of fun.

Why is your bag screaming, sir? Don't worry about it. It's a monkey. I've got a monkey with AIDS in my bag. Move along. We've got terror to stop. Okay. I shouldn't terror to stop. Okay. I shouldn't have brought AIDS into that.

I think stopping AIDS is just as important as stopping the terror, so if that's what they're trying to stop, I'm fine. That was unnecessary, yeah. Stop them all, you guys. Yep. Agreed. Alright, so since Sean came all the way from Portland to be here this evening evening let's start with Kate

thank you that was like a classic twist I didn't see it coming you'll be next so be ready it's like running me a super 8 out here the twist you know that's a classic chubby checker M. Night Shyamalan should just do an ultimate fuck you and, you know. Oh, yeah. That's classic Chubby Checker.

M. Night Shyamalan should just do an ultimate fuck you and, like, you know, towards the end of one of his movies, everyone starts doing the twist. And they, like, can't stop doing it. And Mark Wahlberg's like, why do you keep twisting? I don't know why I'm twisting. Can I tell you a true story?

When I worked on the movie Shark Tale. Please. Awesome animated film dropper. This guy Jeffrey Katzenberg worked on it. I got along with Jeffrey. He was a pretty funny guy. At one point he would say bizarre things. One of the things he said was at one point Will Smith says

it's a little old school and he we were watching the movie and he pauses it he goes pause pause pause at this point in the movie let's have him do the twist it's old school with his little fish fins that'd be awesome Most of the time Like when he spoke You would go Okay And you'd get to work on it

And everyone just kind of went Okay And then no one ever spoke Of it again Instead you had him do The Roger Rabbit Yeah of course The running man

Which category Would you like Kate Would you like Submitted by At the radio blog on Twitter, The Smiths. Yeah. That's movies with either

Will, Jada Pinkett, or Jaden Smith. Okay. God, I couldn't remember any of their fucking names. A lot of classics in there too Yeah, yeah They've made some serious movies, that clan Or would you like from

At Matt Wurm W-U-R-M, Wurm Horror movies where the black guy lives That's the scariest thing that could happen Or That's the scariest thing that could happen. Or, thank God somebody said something worse than my AIDS comment. Get the heat off of me.

That's a get-at-jail-free card for you. Or, you know, I keep putting it into play just because he was such a delightful guest. The films of Michael Rooker. I keep putting it into play just because he was such a delightful guest. The films of Michael Rooker. Which one of those would you like to play, Kate? I would like to go with The Smiths, please.

You got it. This is either Will, Jada Pinkett, or the kid, Jaden. Or any combination thereof. Would you like a Smiths movie from 96, 2001, or 2003? Oh, geez.

96? Okay. Three stars from Leonard. Okay. Feels about right to me I'm comfortable with it he says about this movie that features one or all of the

Smiths he says that holy shit everything in this review gives it away oh my god like seriously I can't pick out anything that's not words that are just like oh yeah it's that movie the lead actor in this movie is appealing so that's a terrible clue. That's good. Could be Will or it's not Jada. Or a banana. Yeah.

Leading actor's appealing and... It was followed by a sequel. So that knows it down a little bit. From 1996, one of the Smiths, and there are six names. How many names do you think you can get in? Kate McEuchie. I mean, I don't know.

A.K.A. Oates. Maybe I'm crazy, but I'll say two. Two's not crazy. Some people are giving you a golf applause. Sean Jordan. What are you going to do? The sequel part's

fucking with me. Since we're early... We're playing at three points, so don't put too much pressure on this one moment. The fact that you couldn't find any... Because the movie I'm thinking of, the fact that you couldn't find anything to describe it, because it's a pretty...

Are you helping the other players by saying all of this? I'll say zero. Just remember, you don't have to show your work in this game. Scott? Can you go negative? I could. It'll put you into the next tournament of championships. Oh, if I go negative one right out of the gate, it puts me...

No, I'm just kidding around. Well... Maybe it will though i think that's not what we're playing for that i will go negative two wow kate what do you think you're going to do with that? Oh, crap. You've got to name them in the right order from the top when you go negative names.

Oh. Because I think I know the movie, and I think I know people in it, but I just don't know if I could do the right order, and so that's what worries me. I don't... I I could do the right order and so that's what worries me. I don't... I can't help you. I think I'm... You gotta say name it. You'll get the point if he doesn't name the top two people.

He might even have the wrong movie in mind. I may. What movie do you think it is? I think it's Men in Black. That is incorrect. Sean, what do you want to say? Jason's lyric? No.

What sequel would it be? That's right. It just seemed like there's a nudity in there. I love Jason's lyrics too, Electric Boogaloo. Racist. No, does anybody know what it was everybody thinks it's bad boys it's not that either this is a hard-ass game Sherman clump is a sweet stumble bum of a science who's grossly over with I was racking my brain trying to think

of a Jade what's her name Jada Pinkett Jada Pinkett movie that had a sequel yeah yeah Eddie Murphy she wasnada Pinkett were the first two names. That's the problem. Yeah, yeah. Well played, Kate McCutchey. You have a point. Thank you. What did you think it was? I thought it was Men in Black. I really thought it was Men in Black, so I lucked out. It's a fucked up game. I was moving backwards from

Wild Wild West. I was going I was like Vincent D'Onofrio. I would just sit on Jason's lyric myself. I don't even remember that movie. I mean, I remember that title sounds familiar, but I don't know much about it. Okay, so Kate got the point. So Scott was

screwed up, so we'll start with Sean over here. Would you like at double beet loaf At what? At double beet loaf. Suggested first name

basis. So these are movies where the title of the movie is just one person's first name. And then at Josh underscore O with two H's, he came up with Dead Man Walken, which is films where Christopher Walken dies. During the course of the movie.

And then what, when, where, who, why, and how, which is one of those words is in the title. What, when, who, who, why, and how, which is one of those words is in the title. What, when, who, where, why, or how. The classic questions you ask yourself if you're a journalist. Not necessarily in that order. Sometimes people say it, who, what, when, where, why, how. Yeah, I don't know how they say it. Which one of those would you like to play, Sean?

I'll do the first name basis one. First name basis, okay. This is just one person's name. Could be a man, could be a woman, could be a puppet, could be a talking shrimp. 1990, 1996, or 2009? 90, 96, or 09?

What? Was it 1990, 1996? 90, 96, or 09? What? Was it 1990? 9096 or 2009? Yeah, 9096-9. I wasn't looking to be made fun of. What a weird way to put that. What is it, 9096-9? Yeah, those.

96. 96. This is a one word name movie from 96.9? I was just... Yeah, those. 96. 96. Okay. This is a one-word name movie from 96. Letter gives it three stars. I'd probably go

two and a half. He says about it that it is genial. Somebody wiki genial real quick. And it goes... And it's a movie

that never quite goes where you expect and takes its sweet time getting there it's like a good lovemaker and it's a good lovemaker that's my new pickup line I'm a good love maker I'm gonna make love to you good tell me about the rabbits alright it's from 96

and there are 13 names How many names do you think you need? Sean Jordan There's 12 names There's 12 names? Yeah, 12 names

Well that has a heavy way on my decision I don't know 7 That's a good strong opening bid heavy weigh on my decision. I don't know. Seven. That's a good, strong opening bid. Kate? Right? Or wait.

Which way are we going? It's Ackerman. Okay, sorry. 96. Why are you staring him down? If you're going to do that, I'm putting your shades on. I'm going to say name that movie. Wow. How many?

Seven. Seven? I have a question about the category. I'm a little slow. You're not involved anymore. It wasn't a very good description. Yeah, you don't really have to worry about it but but ask the question

the title is just somebody's first name it'll be fine if you ask the question I'd be stoked on that part of this one no you're out you're out at this point

but it's like somebody's first name you know like JFK oh gotcha gotcha and uh but uh never mind I'm just

I'm just kidding about that JK J without the F K um just fucking kidding Never mind. I'm just kidding about that. J without the F. Just fucking kidding. You get seven names? Yeah, but I have no idea what it is. Three stars.

I love the clues again. Three stars. It's, what did I say it was? Genial. And it never quite goes where you expect and takes its sweet time getting there. Your seven names are Wallace Langham, Tom Hodges, Carla Gugino,

Joey Lauren Adams, Wally Ward, Terry Garr, and Gene Stapleton. Some guy just shot a load in the hair of a person sitting in front of him. Oh, Gene Stapleton. Oh, I know it! Mixed with Joey Lauren Adams. Oh, Gene Stapleton. Oh, I know it! Mixed with Jelly Lauren Adams. Oh! Alright. Let's get serious. Those are your seven names.

I could tell you, except for Tom Hodges, I could tell you something about every person on that list. Thanks. I could tell you that Wally Ward was in Greece. I think that was him, right? Any idea? No.

We got to move this along. All right, hold on. All right, so you lose. Who told him to name it? Scott? I did. So now you have a point. Congratulations.

Hitch. Here's how I'm going to go. Hitch is a great guess. Hitch? a great guest Hitch? Yeah, no The other names are Bob Hoskins, Robert Pastorelli William Hurt, Andy McDowell And the lead character Whose first name is the title of the movie

Played by John Travolta And the movie's called Michael Michael It's like one of my mom's all time Favorite movies And the movie's called Michael! Michael. Michael. It's like one of my mom's all-time favorite movies. So you just pushed it out of your mind.

Mom loves it, but I can't. I saw that movie with my parents. I did too, yeah. Maybe if she would have done a better job raising me, I would have got it. Holy shit. That's heavy. Alright, so congratulations to Scott. Thanks, I won.

That was smart play, smart play. We're going. Isn't it three points? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got to keep going. So, Kate, you get to start this one off. Okay. Would you like States? That's movies where a state in this incredible union that is America,

one of our states is in the title. Or would you like a horror movie where the black guy lives? Or Dead Man Walken? The films in which Christopher Walken dies. I'll take states, please. You got it. I like the way you say that. Thank you.

You're like, did you watch the Scripps National Spelling Bee? They're so adorable and polite and then get their lives shattered. There's only one winner. It's hard to face losing when you know everything. I know everything, and then I lost somehow. That's tragic.

1978, 1989, or 1991? State movies. 89. Okay. Two and a half stars from Leonard. He says that towards the end of the movie, he says finally we get to the good stuff.

He calls the movie a waste of time until the concluding sequence. Someone cum in someone's face? He calls it concluding sequence. You call it a money shot. Everyone has a different name for it. Sequence is pretty formal. Yeah.

The closing sequence ended up on her face. Get ready, Sasha. Get ready, Sasha. It's time for the concluding sequence on your face. Oh, that was a beautiful sequence. Nice work, Sasha.

What are we talking about? Oh, those are the clues, and there are, holy shit, 19 names. Oh, those are the clues, and there are, holy shit, 19 names. Oh, no. This movie that has the state in the title from 1989. How many names do you think you're getting in? Kate Micucci.

I don't know. I don't know. 15 names? That's a good opening bit. I'm proud of you. Shawnee Jordan, what is your bid, sir? I don't have a bid.

I have no idea what it is. So you've got to name it, I guess. With 13 names? I know that's cowardly. I get it. 13 names? 15. 15 names?

I understand. But if I have no idea what it is, you could cleverly say 14. Right. And not mention that you have no idea what it is. You're in a tournament of championships. I know that. Scott would definitely not let you guess it with 14. But now he might, now that you've made it so clear that you don't know.

He said name it. Yeah, I did. I didn't say name it. I know it's lame, and I'm not trying to be lame, but I put in thought, and I know I get it. I understand. One guy in the back. It's probably Anthony Jeselnik.

Okay, so you get 15 names. That might be the most names I've ever had to read at this point in the game. But everybody, please do not. You're going to want to yell it out. You're going to want to beat it into him with that many names. I think a lot of people are going to know, but let's run it. Kristen Dunst, Ileana Douglas, Adrian Brody, Mayor Edward Koch,

Julie Kavner Mae Questel Mia Farrow Woody Allen Carole Bouquet Chris Elliott Don Novello Giancarlo Giannini Talia Shire

I think that's 15, right? And I'll throw in Heather McComb just for the hell of it because that doesn't help. Do you have any idea what that movie is with the name of a state in the title sean no it's not me it's her oh it's on kate you you told kate to name it yeah oh okay go ahead i was confused i thought sean had to name it i was like he's never gonna get this no i don't. Shoot. Wait.

It's a Woody Allen movie then, I guess. Am I? Oh, dang it. I don't know it. So what do I? Oh, geez. Somebody's happy that I don't know. So Sean gets the point. Yeah, Sean gets the point.

I'm sorry. No, I don't know it either. And I know. So Sean gets the point. Yeah, Sean gets the point. I'm sorry. No, I don't know it either. And I know... Is it New York stories? Yeah. Oh. New York stories. I had...

Everybody's so mad at me. You know, I loved Mayor Koch in Mississippi Burning. I loved him in Californication. Woody Allen in Raising Arizona. Jennifer Love Hewitt must have been a little higher on the list. It's easy to make fun when you're not playing because it is very hard to come up with these things

sometimes. So does that mean everybody has a point? Everybody has a point. Holy shit. We've got to move this along. This is going to be speed rounds. Grandma, I'm coming home Late tonight Everybody has to Everybody has to pick Real fast

So Kate got the point And who asked her Sean got the point So who asked her to Who asked I said name it You said to name it So Scott you get to start

And we start with Would you like to go with Who and why Where and how Michael Rooker. Or let's go back to Dead Man Walking. Let me try Dead Man Walking. Walk in.

Dead Man Walking. 78, 83, 85. Because he didn't die in Hairspray. 78. 78. Okay. Four stars from Leonard Malday. What? 78. Okay. Four stars from Leonard Mullen. He calls this movie stunning.

And he says that it packs an emotional wallop. And there are seven names. How many names did you get in Scott Ackerman? 78. Zero. Walking. Walking. It's Kate's turn, right?

Name that movie. Really? You can't go negative? No, I don't think so. Alright, name it, Scott. Dear Honor. That's correct. We start with Sean Jordan. Would you like first name basis,

Michael Rooker, or who, what, where, when, why, and how? Who, what, when, where, and how. What if that was one of the choices? Hi, you are, and how. Movies with the word hi in the title. Hi, I love you. Cast list, one name, Doug Benson. Let's have an opening sequence together sometime.

I wait an ending sequence, sorry. Would you like a who, what, where, sequence. Would you like a from 80 or 2000? 2000. I accidentally loaded into 2000 so that's why you only get two choices. Thank you. I picked one for you though. One and a half stars from Leonard. He's generous.

He calls the movie Cheerless. Generous. He calls the movie Cheerless. And he says the film is loud and cluttered. That is certainly not describing who let the dogs out. Huh. There are seven names. How many names do you think you can get?

It's who, what, when, where, why, and how. Yeah, those are in the title. One of them. Or more. Two thousand. Five names. Name that movie. The five names are Taylor Momsen Clint Howard

Molly Shannon Bill Irwin And Christine Baranski It's got who, what, where, when, why, or how Just to clarify, did you say Clint Howard? Yeah It's cheerless And

Loud and cluttered. Any ideas, Sean Jordan? I do not. Finalist from Portland. It's too broad. There's six words that could potentially be in there and they could all be cluttered together.

Don't shake your head. Pick something. potentially be in there and they could all be cluttered together. Don't shake your head. Pick something. I can't even think of anything. What is it, everybody? Halligridge Soul Christmas. Halligridge Soul Christmas is correct. Very humble. There wasn't a single wrong answer in the audience.

I know. No one was like, where the buffalo roam? Alright, so that point goes to Scott Ackerman, who has two points. No, I have three. Oh. I just want this to never end. It's so exciting when everybody knows how to play and has really strong, good guesses and negative names. Did anybody get zero or negative? You got a zero one? knows how to play and has really strong good guesses and

negative names. Did anybody get zero or negative? You got a zero one? So if you don't, if you win this tournament of championships, then you of course will be ineligible for the next one. Yeah. I know, it's complicated.

But I've got it all worked out. There's going to be three tournament championships. The first one was won by Matt Bronger. The next one's going to be won by you, Paul F. Tompkins, or a third person to be determined a few weeks from now. And then eventually there'll be a super tournament of championships. Yeah. It's going to be nuts, you guys. Scalpers are going to be getting up to $17 for the tickets.

It's going to be so crazy. So who did you win for? You won for Elena. Elena. So Elena gets the whole bag of stuff. We hook her up. There you go, young lady. And where's Joe at?

Is Joe around? Joe, you're still in the house. Come down here, Joe. I want you to write down on this piece of paper who you'd like me to call a shithead at the end of the show. And then I know Hans, I think, put that back there already, right?

What? Okay. I just assumed that's what it was. Yeah, that's what it's for. Some people write it on the back of their name tag. Joe couldn't write it on the back of his Legos, so that makes perfect sense. What if he had alternate Legos on the back of their name tag Joe couldn't write on the back of his Legos so that makes perfect sense if he had alternate Legos on the back oh that's me oh wow there's a little me it's got it looks more like Kevin Smith that's cool and you taking the whole thing back all Uh, yes. All right, but I get to... Uh, yes, I need my Legos.

Somebody has to masturbate from time to time. I need something in the background of the pictures I send to Representative Anthony Weiner. Timely as the day is long. A lot of people would look at it as how generous he gave me a Lego. All right. Okay, I got that one. All right, here we go.

Thank you so much for playing, you guys. Scott Aukerman is advancing to the next round. You're a wonderful panel. Next week's guests are amazing. I hope they don't cancel. Past and future guests, Crazy Al Yankovic has a new record that's out this week, right Scott?

It's called Alpocalypse. A week from Tuesday, I believe. A few days after this podcast plops And you can get it on iTunes If you like fun That should be I don't know if he has an official slogan yet

For his new album but I think that's a good one Buy it if you like fun And let me get a picture of you guys And as always Chris Olsen is a shithead. And *** is a shithead.

I agree with that one. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. He hides a bolt of view and prowess makes him talkie. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!