Doug Loves Movies - Sean Cullen, Brody Stevens, Brad Williams, and Brett Gelman Guest

Episode Date: February 21, 2012

In the second outing from the Vancouver Comedy Fest, Doug welcomes guests Sean Cullen, Brody Stevens, Brad Williams, and Brett Gelman. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug Bones! Hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you once again from the Vancouver Comedy Festival in the Tom Lee Music Hall

on February 18th to Ocean's 12th. At 420! You know, 420-ish, we always start a little bit late, in case anyone's outside. You know, hot box in a car or something.

How's it going, Canada? Western side of Canada. I'm having a great time here in Vansterdam. The Douglas movies that we taped here yesterday with Kulop and Howard and Ricky and Kate was a blast. And today, let me just run you through my day. I was sitting in my hotel room

because it was raining outside and there was a Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon on Much more music, which turns out doesn't have much more music unless you count the music that happens during an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So yeah, I was pretty much locked in there all day, and then it became a beautiful day.

So I have two reasons to thank you for being here. One, because it is nice outside for probably the first time in a few weeks. And so it's awesome that you guys are willing to sit inside when the sun is shining. And secondly, you're missing out on the exciting hockey game that just started. But I've been told I'm going to check out the rest of the game because since I'm here, I want to root for your team. But I hear the hockey game is like two and a half hours long, so we'll be able to see the last hour of the game, if that's what you want

to do. I guess you're probably here because you don't give a shit about the game. But that's cool. It was funny, today I learned a few things. First of all, it was funny that there was an uproar in the press about ESPN had a headline somewhere about Jeremy Lin and that was extremely racist. And it was funny for me to hear them talk about how racist it was and how much trouble ESPN is in for it because it's basically just a reworking of a joke that I said a while back. I said that Jackie Chan should make a medieval night movie and they should call it A Chink in the Armor. And so that's, but that's, that's more clever, right? I'm obviously being... Racism is supposed to be ridiculous and funny, but ESPN, I guess, said that about...

It doesn't make sense about a basketball player. He's not even wearing armor. So how could they go to that extent? Anyway, so theirs was more racist. Much more music racist. Yesterday's show, as I mentioned, it's already on iTunes, and I've already learned a few places where I went wrong. At Big Mean Bunny on Twitter told me that 50-50 was actually filmed here in Vancouver,

and I like it even more now. I'm even more into it. What a great substitute for Seattle, Vancouver is. It's genius to shoot it here and say it's Seattle. And at the Rob Davidson, explained to me that the excited response when Mary Pickford was mentioned yesterday, the gasp in the audience, the happy gasp,

occurred because it turns out she's Canadian, which makes that reaction even more adorable. And one other thing, Howard Kramer was right. There is a movie called Sitting Bull that came out in 1954 starring Robert Mitchum, but he didn't know enough about it, and my decision stands. It's too late to go back and fix it. Let's take a look at what's in the prize bag, you guys.

There's always a fun bag full of crap that all the guests brought, and I like to let you know what it is. Like, for instance, some of the guests are staying at a nearby Comfort Inn, so one of them brought a couple of cups that say Comfort Inn on them. And then another one of my guests didn't have any of his merch with him. So instead, he signed his festival badge.

So if you want to get into the Betty White show later tonight, you could probably wear this and pretend to be him. And another gentleman brought and signed for us a pair of his drumsticks, and another brought a book that he wrote called The Prince of Two Tribes, and that's like a book for young adults. It's not a book for Patton Oswalt and Charlize Theron. It's a book for actual young adults. And then he also brought

an Aunt Bessie's cheese curds hat that he was happy to sign. And I brought a copy of my first CD, Professional Humorinean. And we also have a bumper sticker for the movie Project X, and we'll talk a little bit more about that in a second. And also, a handful

of assorted candies that I grabbed from the thing. Because they put those backstage. And I like to shit, why should we just get candy backstage? Why shouldn't one lucky audience member get some candy?

So that's what's in the prize bag. So let's bring the guests out right now. Please welcome all participants this year in the Vancouver Comedy Festival. So I'm excited they're here and could be on the show. I think they've all been on the show before, in fact. Please welcome Brett Gelman, Brad Williams, Sean Cullen, and Brody Stevens. Positive energy. Now, just because there's a little person is no reason to boo.

That is fucking rude. That's right. I thought they were excited because I was having trouble getting up on the stool. It was like a moment of suspense where they're like, is he going to make it? He made it, everybody. He totally made it.

And I should explain to the listeners that the booing occurred because Mr. Sean Cullen, that's his name on Twitter. That is who I do. He walked out in a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey. Yes, I did, despite the anger and fear that I knew it would generate. People are just afraid, and I get it.

What about my Arsenio Hull sweatshirt? Oh, that's what it was. They're just racist. Yeah. They should have gone, boo, boo, boo. The boo pound. The boo pound. It was a fine pound.

All right. I'm just moving my tray over here a little closer so I can reach my beverage. All right. Brad Williams, let's start with you. Welcome back to the show. Thank you for having me, Doug. You're welcome. Have you appeared in any movies since the last time you were on?

I was in an extremely popular straight-to-TV Christmas movie called Hercules Saves Christmas that appeared on the Animal Planet. What did you play, Hercules or Christmas? They went with a really daring casting choice for me and put me as an elf.

And it was a lot of fun. I played the dumb elf as opposed to the smart elf, the nerdy elf, or the sexy elf. So every year around late summer, early fall, you must have a fucking shitload of elf auditions. I do. That you have to go to. I do. shitload of elf auditions that you have to go to. I do.

And then when February rolls around, I just got done with my batch of St. Patrick's Day auditions. I'm sure you'll see me in a state lottery commercial. That's what I was going to say. Lottery commercials. Dress as a leprechaun.

St. Patrick's Day. the most dangerous day of the year to be a midget, really. People see a midget, they go, he knows where it is. And then they start chasing me, and they're intoxicated, and I'm light, and they go, I wonder how far we can throw him. And it's not fun. I tend to stay in on that day.

You know, that's not the right word. I don't appreciate using that word. St. Patrick's Day? That's three words. No, the M word. What is the M word? The M word is the new N word. They're right next to each other.

Midget, please. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. Sean Cullen, you were one of the guests, speaking of Toronto, you were one of the guests in the Lost episode from Toronto. Yes, I was. Yeah, what was more traumatic for you, taping that episode with Jerry D or knowing that no one will ever hear it? I'd say I didn't enjoy it

while it was happening and I'm kind of glad it's gone. It was a crazy one. For whatever reason, you could not grasp the rules of Build a Title. I know that. And it became this insane back and forth between you and I.

I know. I find now I understand it. Even then, I came here. Today I said, build a title. I know it. And then I tried to do it and you said, no, it's not like that. Oh, Jesus. On a sweet monkey's face. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.

I wish I were a small person too. Everyone needs a hook. I know. Minus I'm a fat man we're a small person too. Everyone needs a hook. I know. Minus I'm a fat man. That no one likes. Thanks for bringing the mood up. Whoa! Yeah, I was sad about that.

I'm sorry it's gone. I feel personally responsible because it happened in Toronto. But then again, I should feel personally responsible for anything that happens in Toronto. I'm again, I should feel personally responsible for anything that happens in Toronto. I'm going to try to lose this episode as well. I generally don't like putting out episodes where the guests are roundly booed when they come out.

It gives you a good idea of where I stand in this country. Brody Stevens is here, everybody. Yes. Yes. Positive energy. You got it. British. British Canada.

Are you okay? Yeah, I'm good. My question for you is, how many Todd Phillips movies are you in? I'm in three of them. The last three on Todd's good luck charm. Todd directed the Ferris Bueller commercial also during the Super Bowl. He didn't put me in that, and that commercial bombed. You could have been the guy driving the car in that commercial, right?

That guy was ethnic. Yeah, I auditioned actually for one of the valet guys. I didn't get it. I didn't dress like a valet enough at the audition. I usually go, I was a callback. I'm going straight to callback. Meaning they call you in. I didn't have to wait in lines.

But I didn't get it. You didn't have to wait in line. You didn't have to sit around with a bunch of lottery midgets. That's where I saw you there, Brody. That's awesome. And his new movie that he produced, Project X, that's why you brought the stickers because you're such a Todd Phillips supporter. Well, I was at Dougie Dog down the street. And they just had those there?

Yeah. It worked out good though. I'm looking forward to Project X. It looks funny. It's a hard R. Like we were talking about, a lot of young kids are going to sneak into that. It's about an out of control

party. It looks really fun. Yeah, where they drive a car into the pool. Yeah, and there's like a dog on a trampoline and all sorts of craziness there's a kid drunk accurate prediction that's one of the other things about in there they do get a kid drunk the r rating is for like it says like excessive drug use, alcohol, sex, language, blah, blah, blah. It lists all these things and it goes all involving teens. And when I saw that, I was like, I am in.

Yes. I see the crap out of that. And you also brought, Brody, you brought a pair of drumsticks because you love drumming. I love percussions. I'm not professionally trained trained but I did use the because I did use the drumsticks at another podcast you could hear and I said you know what we're at the Tom Lee Music Center why not donate something worth worth of value and a drum set was too expensive hard to travel with yeah

true and easy true enough. And it wouldn't fit in my bag, what with the Comfort Inn cups and all. Those were brought... Not to throw you under the bus or anything. No. I'm proud of... Those were brought by Brett Gelman, everybody.

Brett Gelman is here. Hello. I want people to know. I want people to know I want people to know how well I'm being taken care of at this festival that I get put up at the Comfort Inn. I love it. I love it.

I love not being able to see the floor. All bed. All bed. Wall to wall beds That's a great idea for a hotel It is really good Very thin walls in that hotel as well Yeah very thin

Brett and I actually have a room right next to each other And he now knows what kind of porn I like to watch And you heard me having a really Very personal conversation with my mother. I did. Yeah. A real neurotic Jew conversation.

And he couldn't stop masturbating during that. It was better than the porn. It really was. I don't know if they have neurotic Jew conversations with mothers as a porno category, but I'm willing to sign up for it. Well, they do. They do. It's right next to the neurotic Jew conversation with his girlfriend, which is not very different.

Either way, no sex happens at the end of it. No. Just worry. I do a lot of flying, and so the airline of choice that I use has been showing the episode that you're in of Happy Endings. Oh, yeah. I've seen it like

three times in as many weeks, and I watch it every time, because I like the show, but it's also, hey, it's my buddy Brett being funny on Happy Endings, and being really weird. You play this guy who's super into – he and his wife are trying to get – I'm a swinger. Threesomes going and foursomes and stuff.

Right, and we're trying to get Damon Wayans Jr. and Eliza Koop to swap with us, me and Danielle Schneider, who plays my wife in that. Yeah, that was really fun. Matt Besser's gal in real life. Yeah, Matt's down for that. Yeah. But I wanted to ask you though, in addition to that hilarious TV performance, and you have a podcast as well, right? I do.

Galmania. On the airwolf. Scott Aukerman's podcast label. What is that? Is it a company? Is it a label? What is it? It's a corporation. It's an association of like-minded people.

I'd love to get on that. It's not a shingle. It's a scam. It's a scam. Scott Aukerman's scam. It's a network. Scott Ackerman's scam. It's a network. A podcasting network. There's a few of them. Nerdist.

Chris Harvick has one. Ace has one. Joe Rogan network. NASA. I'm proud to appear on all of their shows and I don't want my own network. I'm happy with this. You keep the money.

What? And the spoils. What money? And the glory. I don't know. Talking money, uncomfortable. But have you done any film roles to speak of since last we spoke?

Since I've been on the show? Yeah. Was I in any films by the time that I did the show? I don't know. It's been a while. I don't know, but it seems like you should be. I did The Other Guys. Yes. I was in a show? I don't know. It's been a while. I don't know, but it seems like you should be. I did The Other Guys. I was in a small scene in The Other Guys.

That's a funny movie. Yes. I did. I thought it was. I did too. Yeah, I thought it was very good. I was very proud to be a part of it. The scene where Will Ferrell starts doing the tougher cop.

Yeah. That's funny. Amazing. Yeah. I am going to make you eat a plate of human shit. Controversial opinion. Will Ferrell's funny.

I think he is. No, I think he's the best. I was being sarcastic. Everybody loves Will Ferrell. I don't know if that's true. Give it up for the king. I know him personally. There's a baby in the front row that doesn't care. Fuck you and your fucking baby doll.

She can't clap and hold her baby doll. That's not your baby either. No, that was really fun. I did a smaller part in 30 Minutes or Less where I played Jesse Eisenberg's boss. I had a bigger scene, but that was cut. Is it on the DVD? It might be.

It might be. I haven't had a chance to check it out. And then I had a very small part in Harold and Kumar, their Christmas movie. Which I only hear good things about. I didn't see it because I don't see anything that's in 3D.

And boycotting 3D. But I'll watch good things about. I didn't see it because I don't see anything that's in 3D. Right. And boycotting 3D. But I'll watch it on television. Yeah. Because then they can't make you wear the glasses when you're watching it on TV. Yeah. They don't have the ushers that show up in your house. No, no, they can't force you to do that. Right.

You've got to put these on. No, I'm not a fan of 3D either. It makes me nauseous. Yeah. Yeah, it's annoying. Yeah, I don't like it. It gives me a headache on my face. To have to wear glasses.

What kind of society makes people wear glasses? Like, you get to not wear glasses if your vision's okay, and then they force you. Right. And then people with glasses on, like this gentleman here, how does the fucking 3D glasses fit over that shit? You got some crazy-ass glasses on. Yeah.

Very fashionable, but you can't get 3d glasses over those can you do you look a bit like Sean Hayes Sean Hayes in the movie of Jerry Lewis you look like that would be you where he's playing Jerry Lewis is another professor and you are him. Thank you. Are those prescription? They're not? They don't even have glasses. Oh, they're asshole glasses. Oh, God.

What a glass hole. If I had glasses, I'd kick the shit out of you. Why are you pretending to have something wrong with your vision? I don't think anyone else pretends to have other disabilities. I don't think that happens. I haven't seen too many pretend dwarves out there that just stand up and they're 5'7".

You asshole! I pretend to be a giant. Mission accomplished. I did it. I'm over be a giant. Mission accomplished. I did it. I'm over nine feet tall. You have a brow ridge you could cook eggs on. I was in The Hangover. Hangover 2.

Due Date. Cut Out of Funny People. Were any of those in three dimensions? None. I don't do that. Comedically they were. Yes they were. I bring that third dimension. Yes! Enjoyable! Hangover 3 will have to be in 3D because that isn't that the rule? When you get to 3 that's the one where you have to do it. Well, I think so. My web series is in 3D. That's a lot of computer time.

Like the junky power. You have to churn that out. You can't watch it on a normal computer. It just comes out as 2D, right? This is 3D and it's Android capable. Oh my god. That's beautiful. I went to see the Phantom Menace

in 3D. Why? Why did you do that? My son wanted to go. Why would you want Jar Jar Binks closer to you? Well, here's the thing. You could really feel the lack of emotion shooting out all over you. You're like, wow, I hate Anakin even more now.

This is all very stiff and awkward in my face. Now, has your son seen A New Hope? Has he seen episode four? He's seen A New Hope. Okay, so he's not going from one to six. No, he doesn't. He likes just the people being shot with lasers. And who doesn't?

I like a thing that will cauterize the wound it makes in you immediately. The Oscars are coming up. Segway. They're going to be in 3D as well. Billy Crystal's going to do one of his monologues in 3D. I just want to go one more thing about 3D. All movies have been in 3D forever. Time is a dimension in itself.

You sit, watch something in two dimensions, and time passes. That's 3D. What they have now is 4D. Time is passing, it's coming at you and moving side to side. I just got hard. Yeah. And no one can see it. It's interesting to me... It's interesting to me that the more something is in your face

makes it less apparent that it's a piece of shit. And it's bad. Does that make sense? Kind of. Many women have said that to me. Most of these movies are shitty in 3D. They're bad. Release the crackhead!

That's what Brad would hear Through the wall At the Covered Inn And what Brad would hear too I said that to my mom But I was talking to her About being who she is

And not Yeah yeah Release your inner Kraken Yeah We all have a Kraken Inside of us We just have to Brad you have the international rape plan?

That's expensive. Did you say international rape plan? He travels the world raping. I analyzed you. If I get caught, I get less time. Oh, my. Boo.

So, Brett brought up the Oscars, so we might as well talk about it. It's happening soon. Yeah. Yeah, and do you have any favorites or something? Or why'd you bring it up? Oh, I... Well, I want to see Gary Oldman win for Tinker Taylor.

That would be awesome. It's his first nomination, which is stunning in and of itself. Yeah. It's incredible that he... Yeah. And he's not going to win, but that's fun to root for him. But yeah, he's so good in that and in everything, right? I just want someone to explain to me how the artist got best original screenplay.

It's a silent film. Somebody did have to write down the story. got best original screenplay. It's a silent film. Somebody did have to write down the story. Well, write down, like, move hand here, go that way, not actual dialogue. That beat, like... Come on. Yeah, I think Drive Angry 3D had a better screenplay than The Artist.

It was actual dialogue and stuff. Don't agree. Yeah. I don't know why you have to be so small-minded. So are you in the drive camp? Because I thought drive was good, but I didn't love it like people do. I was talking to Brad.

Oh, I was talking about Drive Angry 3D, which was the hit movie from Nicolas Cage, one of the greatest cinematic actors of our time. Yeah, he's got the new Ghost Rider out right now. Oh my God, it looks so compelling. One of the greatest castle owners of our time, too. In the Ghost Rider movies, in the first movie, his face turns into a fiery skull, so that explains now why whenever you see him anywhere,

he has no sideburns anymore. They were burned off permanently. But I'm going to skip right to, I'm going to wait for Ghost Rider 3D. 3D. And then probably not see that either. It's in 3D. What is, the new one?

Ghost Rider 2. They're getting ahead of themselves. Not good. Oh, I'm excited for John Carter. I love John Carter. Why? Because I love Edgar Rice Burroughs. It's the guy who did WALL-E and Nemo.

Yeah, Andrew Stanton directed it. Yeah, so he's a talented director, but I just can't get excited about a science fiction, like a genre film that's just called John Carter. That's the name of Noah Wiley's character in ER. I don't know. Is it really?

Coach Carter? It's so weird why they just can't put John Carter of Mars, which is what the book is. Yeah, why'd they drop the of Mars? Because Mars is not cool. That would explain that it's a sci-fi movie. Yeah. John Carter sounds like a Zac Efron joint.

You know, and that's not that. Yeah, what was the one Zac Efron movie that was just his name? Cleveland Carter? No. Charlie St. Cloud. Oh, my God. John Carter is only second to Charlie St. Cloud

for the most unexciting name. Well, also Michael Clayton. Whenever it's just somebody's name, it's like, why do I give a fuck about this person? Why is that compelling? The movie's named after a fictional person. I like a good name title. What's your favorite name title?

My favorite name title? Malcolm X. Well, that's because you love sequels. You love... So good. I didn't see Malcolm 1 through 9. I didn't know how good it was. In Malcolm X, is he on a spaceship in the future,

and they're trying to kill him, and they found him frozen in space? No, that's Leonard. Oh, shit. I saw a black guy on a skateboard here in Vancouver. No way. He was training for Malcolm X games. That's pretty rare.

Yes. Yes, I'm back. Cut out of funny people. How dare they? No, speaking of the name movies, there's one coming out, Tyler Perry, because I'm down with the blacks.

He's got a movie coming out called Good Deeds, and he plays a guy whose name is Mr. Deeds. Wasn't that an Adam Sandler movie? Mr. Deeds? Yeah, that's kind of... It's an old movie, though. Is it a remake? Mr. Deeds was a remake of Mr. Deeds

Goes to Town or something like that. Mr. Deeds Goes to Space? It was with Don Knotts, wasn't it? Mr. Deeds of Mars. Anything on Mars, I'm in. I'm just going. How does the theme song of Mr. Deeds of Mars go? When you're high in the sky

on a planet that's red go to bed and dream of Mr. Deeds. He's amazing. He knows every theme song. That's sort of your thing, theme songs. Yep. Yeah, that's awesome. Let's start down here on the other end with Brody

for this next line of questioning. Okay. Did you go to the cinema on Valentine's Day this year? And if so, were you with a lady date? I did not go. Okay, moving on to Sean Cullen.

It's not like you were going to say, but... What's the rest of it? Trying to think what I did on Valentine's Day. Yeah, it was midweek, so it wasn't terribly exciting. I sent my mother flowers. That's nice. She enjoyed that. Oh.

Sorry to bring everybody down. But I don't think I saw a movie that day. I'm sorry. What about you, Sean? I was working all day. I did a. What about you, Sean? I was working all day. I did a bunch of voiceover for some cartoons. One of them is called Rocket Monkeys, which will be coming out soon.

Thank you. One download. One adult loves... And I was working with a guy who... Anyway, I shouldn't talk about it. It'll lead to lawsuits. But my co-star on the show, it was the first time I was recording with him

and I don't think he can read. So that led to trouble. And I was kept really late and missed my dinner with my wife and children. And then I got home and she killed them. I knew I had to get home

before she killed them and I didn't. And thank home before she killed them, and I didn't. And thank you, Rocket Monkeys. Yeah, goddamn non-reading person. She's a dead friend. No, that's not a song. How about you, Brad? I did. I did go to the movies on Valentine's Day.

I had a date. She wanted to see The Vow. Oh. Yeah. Oh, God. No, I didn't see it. It's a bit of small dog yap. No, I...

Small dogs love that movie. No, we went to see it, and then I found out that Contraband was playing at the same time, and I thought, you know what? You go enjoy your movie. I what, you go enjoy your movie. I'm gonna go enjoy my movie. Don't all, ladies, don't all. If she loved me,

she would let me go see a halfway shitty movie as opposed to an overall shitty movie. And I did, and I enjoyed it, because I don't know if you know this, but Mark Wahlberg could have prevented 9-11. Yeah, that's what he said in Men's Health Magazine, where all the 9-11 breaking news happens.

If only he were a little more ripped. He could have stopped those planes. He was supposed to be on one of the flights. So now he's saying if he had been, he would have been like, what's happening? It has something to do with the trees. All right, I'm going to go get these guys. Let's go.

Yeah, he'd go into the bathroom and make a speech in the mirror and take his dick out. Turn into Marky Mark. Get pumped up. Yeah, you get the whole bunch. I could have stopped 9-11. Yeah, how?

Guys, what are you doing? Just reason with them. Reason. Talk them down. Do you really want to do this? Come on. Wouldn't you rather go to another strip club tonight? That's what they did before.

Yeah, they did a lot of strip clubs before. That's what terrorists like to do before they do some missions. In addition to Mark Wahlberg, Seth MacFarlane was also supposed to be on one of the 9-11 flights. Oh my God. Yeah, and he didn't... I think he would have had a better chance of stopping it than Mark Wahlberg because I think if he starts

doing voices... Yeah, Stewie could talk him out of it. What do you think you're doing? Listen, if you want to take over the world, don't do it with suicide planes. How about my time machine? Victory will be ours. I think if you just had me in the window

of one of the buildings, as the plane approached just going I think I could have stopped it because I I could have stopped because if the terrorists would have seen a midget They would already be in heaven. They wouldn't have to go see a lock. It's like midget heaven They win at that point. Are you a virgin midget? Am I a virgin midget? That's the big attraction for these guys That's another one of the porno videos. I was watching Midget virgin I don't do Johnny Small I Don't do 9-11 jokes. I'm very sorry only on 9-11

Save you do that big show every year. There's lots of jokes and lots of drumming. Lots of drumming, lots of jokes. The Ground Zero Comedy Festival. And it's a very intimate show. Some would say it's extremely close. Extremely loud, incredibly close. Incredibly painful and loud.

I lived down there for two years afterwards. Had a view of it. All right. It probably... It probably changed me, right? Comedy, ladies and gentlemen. You do seem different now. I lived in the pit for about a year.

Just wandering through the rubble. Shifting my camp from place to place as it was slowly cleaned up. Eventually I opened a small barbecue for the workers. It's what I do for the people to get them over this sad time. Nothing says cheer up like a sizzling piece of meat. So, Brett, you... Yeah.

I love how moving on can get a laugh. It always does. You, uh... Valentine's Day, I didn't ask you yet. Oh, yeah. We stayed home. Me and my girlfriend stayed home. I do. I live with her.

Theoretically, yes. She just doesn't know? Physically, no. No, she would know. I'm not a cheater. I treat my woman like gold. Boy, accusations being thrown around up here. Yeah, it's pretty weird.

You don't have to cheat to win in love. I know this might sound weird for a comedian to say, but I actually have respect for women, so... Anyway... Whoa! Not me. Anyway. Whoa. Not me. Cool. No, we stayed home and we watched

our favorite movie last week's episode of Top Chef. No, I don't remember what we watched. Maybe we watched a movie. Maybe. I just got an Apple TV. That's been fun. You can just get an Apple TV. So that's been fun. Why? What does that do?

Well, you can just get movies. Just go Netflix streaming. Okay. I never... And then watch it on the TV. Then you watch it on the TV. Nice. Yeah.

Because I'm not into streaming movies. No? No, because it's always like buffering forever or whatever. Right? It hasn't been for me. It's been pretty good. I'm probably hitting the wrong button. Buffering hasn't really been a problem for probably 10 years.

This conversation is buffering. Yeah. Hold it. Loading. Brody Stevens. Thank you. Loading. Positive energy.

Yes. Loading. All right. Loading Positive energy Loading All right, so That topic's been covered Refresh Let's go to I want to ask Sean a question I think it almost always comes up When you're on my show Because you have a tremendously funny bit

In your act About James Bond villains. Oh, yeah. Well, that's a matter of opinion. I like it. I like it. That's all I've got. Yeah, just do a little quick hit of, like,

you know, a Bond villain threatening someone. Ah, Mr. Bond! You see, they don't kill him right away. Yeah, that's the point. Mr. Bond, we've captured you. Would you like a glass of wine? No? Straight to it, then. Mr. Bond!

I see you've met my eight-foot-tall Korean psychopath poopy pants. Stop laughing, Mr. Bond. That is his name. Poopy pants. Take Mr. Bond. Put him on a very smooth surface. Leave him there for several hours. Then quite suddenly put him on a pebbly surface. Still alive Mr. Bond? Put him on a pebbly surface. Still alive, Mr. Bond?

Very well. Take him out. It's like they're always really shy to see what they're... Like when they put him on the table in Goldfinger and the laser's going up his crotch, why would everyone leave the room? Why would no one stick around and go, well, he might escape somehow. Sorry, Mr. Bond, I've got to go to see something very important.

Not killing you. That is very low in our broil. I've got to get a phone call coming in. I'm going out. You will be sold in half. I must go. What? He's escaped. Fuck again!

Can no one kill this man? Simply. Bring a pony in. Bring a pony. And once, when you try and mount him, he will shy away. Shy away. Confused, Mr. Bond?

You will be. Perhaps to death. Well, I could go on, but I won't. I'm sorry. Villains. That was Brody's audience warm-up experience coming into play. I'll force an applause break right here. Well, that's a natural force.

Yeah, they were ready to applaud. That was great, Sean. I try my best, Brody, and I just try and learn from you and have positive energy. Do what I must. Do what I must. Do what you must. I think villains must be self-sabotagers. Right? Because if you don't like somebody, if you're really

evil to somebody, you're really being evil to yourself. That's right. So when they're about to kill Bond, they have people leave the room because part of them, that self-sabotaging, you know, self-hating element is trying to kill themselves. That's right.

Doesn't that make sense? I've never noticed how nice your teeth are. He's got really good teeth. Thank you. He's got some sweet choppers. I haven't even brushed him before I've fallen asleep the last two nights. Festivals, you know, when I'm out of town.

Woo, pass out city, right? Fred, I'm right there with you. I didn't do it either the last two nights. Feels good. No mouth guard, no... No breathe strip, no breathe right strip. What are you saying, I have a big nose? No.

No, but I need them. Oh, you need those? Do they work at all? I don't know Brent needs them because he doesn't want to wake up his mother Right No, I keep her on the line While you sleep, yeah

You get her on the horn, listen to me go to sleep Make sure I don't Stop breathing Stop breathing My mom uses a sleep apnea machine Make sure I don't stop breathing. My mom uses a sleep apnea machine. She does? The mask? Yeah, my sister bedazzled it. It was...

They work together. Well, that's not great. I mean, it's keeping you awake while it's trying to get you to sleep. That's the idea. You're excited by the bedazzling, yet you're trying to go to sleep. Exactly. That's going to be counterproductive. She's doing great.

She's almost 81. She walks the dog daily. She does chair yoga. Really? Chair yoga? Yeah. She sits in a chair. They move her limbs. But she can walk with the dog. Yeah. Yeah.

I want to know who they is. Yeah, who's got that job? The yogis. Knock, knock. We're here to move your limbs. The chair yoga people. Well, it's the people who deliver the chair, basically. No, she lives in a community.

It's good. Oh, okay. Maybe, do they have pool yoga? They have pool yoga, chair yoga. They have movies at 2 and 7 in a big theater there. They have a beauty salon. Have you watched a movie with your mother there?

No, but she goes. She saw The Decemberists. Oh, really? That's amazing. My mom goes to a lot of movies. The Decemberists, the band. Oh, the movie with George Clooney. The Descendants. The Descendants. Oh, the movie with George Clooney. The Descendants. Oh. Descendants. Decemberists.

Oh, okay. Sounds like one of the Christmas movies I would star in. Decemberists. I do love the Decemberists biopic with George Clooney. Down by the old main drag. That song. That song. They're from Portland, I think.

Yeah. See, I know music. You do. It's not the tip of the iceberg main drag. That song. That song. They're from Portland, I think. Yeah. See, I know music. You do. It's not the tip of the iceberg. Sorry. Sorry, friend. Go ahead, Sean.

Shall we play a game or two? Yeah. Yes! So to determine who's going to go first in the Leonard Maltin game, we'll play a quick, low stakes,

don't take it too, don't worry about it too much, try to understand it, Sean, round of... If I start crying, just keep going. I want to go after him. We'll play a round of Build a Title, and the way this works is it has to be... We all have to agree that it's an existing movie that you've added. You can't, you know, make up movie names. I know you'd all be good at that.

So let's start with Brody, and then we'll go to Brett, and you guys get how that's going to work. you guys get how that's going to work. At WoozyFluzy on Twitter suggested the beginning build a title Cape Fear. Cape Fear. So Brody, you need a movie title that ends in Cape

or begins with Fear. What do you think, buddy? Cape Fear of a Black Hat. Fear of a Black Hat, that's that rapper comedy thing? Yeah, that's a movie, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pulled that one out of a...

Yeah, well done. Black Hat. Cape Fear of a Black Hat? Yeah. You haven't heard of that, Doug? I have, I have, I have. And I think I even saw it. It was the guy, I can't think of his name right now, but he did Poodie Tang with Louis C.K., right?

Wasn't he like the creative mind behind it? Forget his name, he's a nice guy too. Oh, okay. Speaking of nice guys, Brett, begins in cape or ends in hat. Shit. Yeah, other way around. Right.

Begins with hat, which a lot of movies do. Really? Yeah, there's hat squad. Hats off. But you can end in cape. End in cape. you can end in cape. I can end in cape. I think that's doable.

Alright. Does this work? The great escape fear of a black hat. That does work. Whoa! That is amazing. I gave you a tough one and I apologize.

I could have done something other. No is amazing. I gave you a tough one, and I apologize. No, no. Thank you. I could have done something other. No, no. That felt good. You might be taking this one down with that, because that's a good one. Great escape fear of a black hat. We go to Brad. You need to start with hat or end with great.

Start with hat or end with great. I know. I'm not able to think of any. End with great. That's a tough one. That's really tough. I'm going through my Netflix Rolodex right now. Something great.

I know one of you guys has one that you're screaming at me mentally. Maybe. It's not working. Yesterday's crowd couldn't keep it in. They just yelled out answers. I was like, aren't you supposed to be Canadian? I thought you were super

nice and polite. Isn't there like a Roman type movie? Like someone, or Alexander the Great? Wasn't that a movie? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Let's take it. Alexander the Great.

Let's take it. I was giving you that telepathy, Brad. Thank you, Brody. Positive energy. It's called Alexander, though? I think the Oliver Stone one was just Alexander, but I bet you that wasn't the first movie. There's another one with Pierre Burton

called Alexander the Great. Oh, Pierre Burton. Ooh, I'm Sean Cullen. I know British shit. Okay, Sean. I am Alexander the Great. So you need ends in Alexander or Alex

or begins with hat. Fanny and Alexander, the great escape, Fear of a Black Hat. Nice. Fanny and Alexander. Sean Cullen is back. Now we're back around to Brody who started it off strong and now he's in a tough position

because he needs a movie that ends in Fanny. Has to be, can't be porn. And begins... You're no fun. Begins with hat. It's a bit cheaty. Patton Oswalt. Patton Oswalt. Fear of a back Patton Oswalt Fear of a back Patton Oswalt I think it's pretty scary

Patton's brother's name is Matt and I call him Matton Anything Brody? It's not really coming to me Alright you're out I mean are we This is serious. No stress. We've got to go watch the rest of the hockey game.

Okay. Yeah, no pressure. Low stakes. You're not a bad person because you're terrible. Let me just go compete. Let's go over here to Brett. What do you think, Brett? You got anything that ends in fanny or begins with hat? Sometimes I'll wear a fanny hat. I put my change in it.

Smart. Shit. And you can't say the fan, but that would be fun. Oh. You can't? No, thes. Yeah, we don't do the thes. That was right.

So then you just have fan. You're not adding anything to fanny. You're just saying it again. Oh, okay. Oh, but Sean's excited. Right. Anything, Brett? Big Fanny

Big Fanny or Alexander the Great Escape Fear of a Black Hat no I know why somebody said Patton Oswalt that's cheating but I'll take it hey it's you know isn't it Biggest Fan?

no just Big Fan. Big Fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Okay, nicely done. Sort of. I got away. Once you heard the Patton Oswalt hit, you're like, well, what is there?

Could it be Ratatouille? Big Fan or Young Adult? Okay. I was going to say Hatatouille. What do you got there, Brad, anything? It's got to start with what now? No, it's got to start with it's got to end with big or start

with hat. Oh, end with big. Yeah, because we got big, fanny. But the movie Big, that doesn't count? No, that's ironic. That's just... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Brad's my friend. I'm sorry, Brad. I'm sorry. Brad, I'm sorry. Positive energy. My bad. I slept. I got kicked out of the game. So it's gotta end with big?

Oh, Jesus. Always the word that comes after big. Why is it that the dwarf got big? That's fucked up. Dwarf got big, bitches! Oh, uh... I think it's a Whoopi Goldberg movie called How to Make It Big. I think there's that. Am I right?

I think that's instructional porn, I think. You know what? I'm out. This may be the start of something big. Mr. Big. I don't know. I can't think of any. Let's go down to Sean.

Mr. Big is a movie with Whoopi Goldberg. Doesn't she play two people in it? A lawyer and... Can anybody back that up? I don't think so. Not when you're wearing that jersey. All right. No one wants to help you win.

No, I just was saying for him, because he did say Mr. Big. I'm sorry. I have to think of something big. The theater just took off. We've left our moorings. That was good. I don't think there is one.

I mean, there may be one. I don't think we're going to think of it. The start of something big? Yeah, I don't think that's one. That was like a song. This might be the start of something. Okay, one, two, three. Something, cat, mat, big, fat. That's off to Larry.

Starring Harvey Korman. I don't know. I guess I lose. All right. Well, that was a good round, you guys. So we all lost. We got Big Fanny and Alexander, the great escape fear of a black hat.

So I won. You did. Brad Gelman is our winner. I won. Gelman. Yeah. Gelmania. Could you have said breakfast at Tiffany and Alexander? winner. I won. Gelman. Gelmania.

Could you have said breakfast at Tiffany and Alexander? Breakfast at Tiffany. Tiffany. Is that how you pronounce the word Tiffany? It's spelled the same way. It's not really a spelling thing as much as a sound thing, but that would have been a close one. I might have given it to you.

The apostrophe S though. Fangoria? Fan-da-lang-dang-dang? Just Fangoria? What are you looking at your phone for? Oh! Toronto is losing two to one. Yeah. What did they say?

They said Notorious B.I.G. But isn't that... No, but that was just called Notorious, wasn't it? Yeah, it was just called Notorious. But that's a nice try. Go fuck yourself. But I would like to hear really quickly, I'd like to hear Sean sing the theme song

from Big Fanny and Alexander, The Great Escape, Fear of a Black Hat. We're just two young kids, children of the Romanovs. How are we going gonna survive this day? Let's hide in the basement while the Soviet soldiers come and maybe they'll

miss us, hooray! We'll get on a black hat and we'll make them feel afraid and maybe even then it'll be big for us today when I get shot I'll fall and you fall on me. Hooray for the big fat hat and the cake beer for me.

I don't know, that's it. Yes! That was awesome. That was great. Not very often you have a clap-along theme song for a movie, is it? It's rare. Not very much. The Addams Family.

I would really love it if you just sang every song for every movie. Well, I will do it. If you want me to, I will do it. Cool. As soon as I...

What I do for a living. All right, we'll do it. We'll do every correct answer in the Leonard Maltin game. We'll have you sing the theme song. All right. As long as it's not the bodyguard. Nice bridge between us.

Too tsunami. I just want to say, I don't want to say to Whitney Houston fans, this is a sincere moment I'm going to have. I want to say to the fans of her that want her daughter, Bobby, Christina, what a fortunate name that is, named after both of your parents.

But anyway, that girl, she's after both of your parents. But anyway, that girl, you know, she's going to get the money, you know, she's the one the money's going to go to for all these sales, because Whitney Houston record sales, you know, online anyway, have gone through the roof since her passing. But don't buy I Will Always

Love You thinking that they're going to get the money. Dolly Parton wrote that shit. She's fucking getting so much money right now because some other lady died. That's so weird. I watched the funeral this morning for like two hours. It was so long. It was. It was, it's in New Jersey.

It must have started at like six in the morning. Well that's right. Right? Is it a time difference? Yeah. It's sad because her body decomposed during the service. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. I watched it unironically.

I was actually truly moved by the funeral. By points of it, yeah. I mean, Alicia Keys sang, Stevie Wonder sang. But when Jennifer Hudson came out and got in the casket, that was horrible. I missed that part.

That must have been when I was talking to my mom. She's like, scooch over. Al Sharpton sang? Did he? Yeah. He's got a beautiful voice. Hip hop blues. Jesse Jackson did a poem.

Hard to understand. He was there. Yeah, I'm sure. StubHub. Jamie Foxx did a poem Hard to understand He was there StubHub Jamie Foxx did a song Are you just naming random black stars now? Jamie Foxx did Gold Digger Jamie Walker did a joke Jamie Walker got on stage And said

Not dynamite Death that is. Alright, I'm sorry I opened up that can. Too soon. Too much. It's sad. It bummed me out, for real. Well, let's do something fun. Don't laugh at that, asshole.

Sorry, sorry. Let's bring this back to fun and nice thoughts. And let's see your name tags, you guys. There's a baby up front. I am McLovin shirt, but he changed it to McKevin. That's pretty clever. There's a coffee cup. That's a good one. A Scott with three Ts on a license plate.

Kevin instead of alien. And what is the catchphrase the same? Does it still say, in space, no one can hear you build a title? That's awesome. What'd you do to the Chasing Amy one? Is that Chasing Amy? Chasing Jamie. Why didn't you just change your name to Amy?

It would have been easier. There's a really long one there with a bunch of stuff. Oh, Danny's back. Didn't you win yesterday? I got to name a shithead. Oh, you got to name a shithead. Okay, so you can compete again. No one's going to pick you, but...

I mean, maybe you will. Yeah, maybe. So gentlemen, go out into the audience and pick the name tag that you wish to play for. And there's lots of good ones to choose from. I'll take that one. Tyler, give me that one.

Is there any food ones? Does anybody have a food one? Yeah, got it! Oh, you got a cookie! Yeah. What a condescending thing to say to a little person. You got a cookie! Yes, you did! Look at you with your pretty cookie! Oh, yeah! It's bigger than your face!

It's awesome! Of course, the midget got chocolate. That's a great rap song, midget got chocolate. I got you a date. Oh, Sean. What? He doesn't date babies.

She's cute. It's a black baby. Black baby. With your goggly eyes and open shut. From the Whitney Houston funeral. And I Will always Gelman. Gelman's really

walking around the room. He's taking his sweet time. He's going with Danny. Repeat offender. Oh, no. Yes. Wandering the deserts of Tom Lee.

Well, he, he, he played into my ego. Why? wandering the deserts of Tom Lee he he he played into my ego why what did he do he wrote human garbage oh that's one of your lines that's one of my lines

that's what you are alright so Danny with his film strip what was the film again Danny Signs I already forgot. It was only yesterday. What if it was just like a horrible snuff film? Yeah, he just got us to look at it.

Oh, no. Murder on film. And then you have a cookie. I have a cookie from Sarah. Sarah cookie. Are you dying to get into it? Yes. You can start eating it if you want.

And then Sean got a baby that's also Sarah? Sarah the baby. Sarah baby. Sarah the baby. Apparently the last time I was in the Couve I did a show and you brought that and I signed it after, right? Because I don't usually see a lot of baby

dolls with my name written on them. Did you adopt this baby? In my signature. You're a Caucasian. Did you adopt this baby? In my signature. You're a Caucasian. Did you adopt this baby? That is really great. It's a light-skinned black baby. That could be her and a black dude made that. It's good to be doing an Angelina Jolie thing.

Yeah, she saved this baby from a garbage heap in Somalia. Brody's is very complicated. It says, Going Ape, the classic with DeVito and Danza and monkeys. And it says, Positive Energy.

Yes. 818 till I die. Stay with me. Stay with us. And it says, Kylie. Kyler. That's his name, Kyler. Oh, it's a dude. All right.

Well, the way all that shit's pasted on there, it just looks very feminine. Hello. And check this out when you open it. Boom. Nothing. Nothing. Lazy.

Open it. Open to blankness. But he also taped a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup on there. A white Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Two of them. Those are great. Delish. White chocolate. Yeahish white chocolate.

Yeah, white power. So three of us got a form of chocolate. That's great. Does this make sounds? Where's the switch in the back? You have to turn the baby on. I'm not even going to go there. You are so hot, baby.

You are the hottest baby I've ever seen, you sexy little baby. Nothing's happening. Over there. He's got to get that baby turned on. He's so wrong. Okay, you're right. Gotta get that baby turned on. He's so wrong. Okay, he's doing it right. Gotta get my baby turned on.

What if you turned it on and it just said, Sandusky. Yeah. Hello? I was going to go that route. I stole your Sandusky joke. Yeah. All right, you guys. Let's play the Leonard Maltin Yeah. All right, you guys.

Let's play the Leonard Maltin game. All right, let's do it. Here we go. L.M. We both succumb to our egos. We have? Yeah, you both have. God, you were pounding away at that baby.

Sandusky. What is it supposed to say? What is it supposed to say? Just like, I'm a baby. Oh, it just cries? It's supposed to just cry. If you shake it, it cries. You guys just shake the baby?

Oh, great. Shaken baby syndrome baby. So do you shake it? Does it just go... Does it just do that? That's a terrible thing to put in a child's head. When I become a mommy... I'll shake it till it cries.

Yeah. Don't shake Brad Williams. He will only cry. The only way you can get him to cry is if you knock that cookie out of his hand. He's tough. All right, here we go. You get to pick the first category, Brett, Gelman, and then we'll just go straight across.

We'll go from you to Brad to Sean and then Brody. Okay. And you get to to Sean and then Brody. Okay. And you get to pick a category between these options. All right. If that baby cries again, I'm going to murder it. It sounds like the Aaliyah song with Timbaland. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

What's that song called? Baby Crying. Mama took a jet plane, it's called. Your options are... Two or three people are offended by that. The rest of us don't care. Your choices, options, are... Stop that crying baby.

Tear the battery out of it. It's like we're on a plane. I play Leonard Maltin on the plane all the time. We've all been babies once, okay? Asshole. Why don't you buy

your own fucking plane? That's me as a parent with a baby on a plane. And scene. Yeah. Well done. Alright, Brett, pick a category between Iron Lady, that's movies with a female robot in them.

Or Gwyneth Paltrow, that's films where Gwyneth Paltrow dies. Or Dude, Where's My Sklar, a movie featuring one or more of the twins, the Sklar brothers. Gwyneth Paltrow. Nice choice.

This Gwyneth Paltrow movie is from 2010. It's recent. Two stars from Leonard Malt for this movie. He calls the movie Labored, and he also says that the characters have erratic behavior that makes the movie a long slog. I think I've played this movie before because I recognize that expression, long slog. Maybe he says that about a lot of movies.

But anyway, then he only lists five names. There's only five people in this movie, apparently, or at least five names worthy of mention. So what do you think, Brett, how many names do you think you can get this in? Gwyneth Paltrow dies in it. Right. So I'm told.

And I gotta name the other names of the people in the movie? No, you just have to say just say I can name it five names is a good opening bit. Yeah, I can name five names. No, name the movie in five names if you get to name it five names is a good opening bit. Yeah, I can name five names. No, name the movie in five names if you get to hear all five names. Oh, okay, yeah. Okay, great.

Okay. So he says five, then we go to Brad. Yeah, I could do it in four. Four, he says. Zero names. Sean goes all the way to zero names. Yeah, that's exciting. That kind of puts Brody in a bind. Yeah, because Brody has to either go into negative names. Sean goes all the way to zero names. Yeah, that's exciting. That kind of

puts Brody in a bind. Yeah, because Brody has to either go into negative names or just say name that movie. To who? To Sean. And if you go negative names, that means if you say negative one name, you have to name the top billed person in the movie. Negative two

names, you have to name the top two. And you have to do it in order as listed by Mr. Malton. Do you have an idea what the movie. Negative two names. You have to name the top two. You have to do it in order as listed by Mr. Malton. Do you have an idea what the movie is? Not really, no. You're really in a tough spot then. So I should say... You should probably just say name it and hope that he has the wrong movie.

I have to say name it, Sean. Name that movie. I thought I'd go out on a limb and say Country Strong. That's correct. Thank you. Country Strong. That's what I knew. Wow.

You know, I thought there was a chance you'd screw up and say Contagion. Yes. Because she's patient one and Contagion. But that's 2011. She dies in Country Strong. That's what I'm told. I've never seen it. Spoiler alert. God. She that's 2011. She dies in Country Strong. That's what I'm told. I've never seen it. Spoiler alert.

God. She has an overdose. Asshole. Maybe she just dies on stage singing. Oh, she bombs. Well, I think she dies. Oh, certainly. One can only hope.

Maybe she just dies a little on the inside. And it's not a total death scene. Okay, so that was a fun start. Sean has a point. Sean's on the board. I am on the board. Let me write it down. I'm going to write it down even, just to keep track of it all.

I can keep track of my point for you if you want. No, I know you'll lie about it later. You'll be like, I have three points. And I'll be like, we're only playing to two. Is it just to two points? Brody. we're only playing to two. Sean Redd. Is it just to two points? Brody. Yeah, first person to two. Yeah, everyone on stage is going to do everything we can.

It's turned off. And even the audience. Everyone is against you, Sean. Everyone wants you to lose. Except Chuck Norris. Sean, I should have just not invited you and done a show of all guests whose first name begins with B-R. I just noticed that.

Brett. Brett. Brett Brody. Brett. Brett Brody. And Sean. Brett, Brett, Brody, and Sean. Brett, Brett, Brody, and Sean.

So today you're Braun. I am Braun. I have a son named Brendan, so I would just be him. Oh, that's perfect. Play in honor of him. All right, we'll call you Brendan from now on. Brendan the Braby. And since Brody challenged Sean, we're going to start with Brad this time.

I mean, sorry, since Brody challenged Brandon, we're going to start with Brad and then move towards Brett, and Brad gets to pick a category. All right. Would you like, I'm going to give you three choices. Would you like, since Valentine's Day just happened, Blue Valentine, that's movies with either blue or valentine in the title. And then the next option is Colk Fiction, and that's films that feature Macaulay, Rory, or Kieran Culkin.

And then at Raz, R-A-Z-N-T on Twitter suggested, I like this category a lot, Beatle Namia. And Beatle Namia is a movie with Paul, John, George, or Ringo in the title.

I'll go with K Hulk Fiction, please. Oh. Yes. So decisive. This Hulk Fiction movie is from 2002. Leonard gives it two and a half stars. He says this movie is... He says it's creepy.

He says it's creepy. And he also says that it is downright silly at times. It's creepy and downright silly at times. It has a Culkin or one or more Culkins in it. And it's from 2002. And he lists, wow, short list names on this particular episode. Only six names. So how many names do you think you can name it in?

I can name that in three. Okay, that's a good opening bit. Then we come over here to Brett. So now you can either say name it or you go lower and get less names. What happens if I guess wrong? Brad will get the point. And you will probably have to have a long conversation on the phone with your mother. Yeah.

Well, I'm going to have to have that anyway. I can guess it in two. Two names. Two names, he says, Brody Stevens. I have a hunch on this. Don't give away... Is it okay to play hunches? Don't play your hand. Sure, yeah, you can go for it.

You can tell him to name it or you can go even lower. Where are we at? Two names? Yeah. So you can go down to one or zero if you think you know it. I'll try one. He says one name. I'll go zero. Can I go zero? Can I go zero too late?

You're out of turn. You're out of turn. Now it comes over here to Brad, and we're going to have an amazingly quick Leonard Maltin game if Sean is right but Brad doesn't think he knows what it is so he's sort of stuck but you know, he has a cookie. Look at the bright side. You can't lose when you've got a cookie on your lap.

Exactly. You know what? I think you're bluffing. I'm going to tell you to name that movie. All right. What do you think it's called, Shaw? Signs?

Yes, that's right. Whoa! Oh, fuck. How'd you get that? The baby's not crying! Wow. Brandon is our winner. That was really

Shut it down fast Should I go out and let these guys play for a while I can quit And let these guys play Why don't you go feed the baby I was going to say Party Monster That was Macaulay Culkin was in Party Monster

I was going to say The Good Son That was a little earlier than that Macaulay Culkin was in Party Monster. I was going to say The Good Son. That was a little earlier than that. Macaulay was in that as well. Good guess. Good guess if you're off by about a decade. Big B goes down. Yeah, that's the one I was going to go with.

Scott Pilgrim, of course, had Kieran in it. They're all good actors. I love them. So here's your prizes, Sarah. Congratulations. Congratulations. I think Sean's going to keep the baby. He's just feeding it. He's just feeding it.

Should we play another round with these three guys? Yeah. Or would you three guys like to still go up against Sean and take him down? I'll go up against Sean. Yeah, fuck that guy. Yeah, all right. I want him out of here. You could stay.

But, Sean, really quickly, I forgot to ask you after the first one, but after this one I'm going to ask, could you sing us the theme song from Science? Look out up above. There are clouds in the sky. They're obscuring the stars. Wonder why. There's something coming. Something weird.

Giant creature with giant beards. Brains the size of a pumpkin's size. Look out, guys, you won't believe your eyes. Sides! Yeah! Oh, shit.

Okay, so... Okay, so Sean won and Brody challenged him, right? I did challenge him. No, in the second one I challenged him. Oh, you challenged him. Sean swung away on that one. Get it?

Signs? Swing away? Swing away. Don't get it? Sorry. Oh, I get it. Baseball reference. Baseball reference. I could use a glass of water. Signs? Get it? Sorry. Oh, I get it. Baseball reference. Baseball reference.

I could use a glass of water. Signs. Get it? A glass of water. Get it? Joaquin is a former baseball player. He says, swing away. His wife, dying, crushed against a tree.

Tells him many years before. Swing away. Tell him to swing away. She sees that moment happen. Swing away. Tell them to swing away. She sees that moment happen. In the future. Boom. And then humanity is saved because they realize water kills aliens.

That's what, you know, they wouldn't have noticed the water, would they? The aliens, if they're good enough to build hyperspace ships, they would go, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's all this? Liquid water?

Science. First draft. Hashtag it. I trapped one of them in my cupboard. I'm driving away now. I have to finish directing the film. What is the... Which Culkin

is in it, Sean? It's Kieran? No? Which one? It's not Macaulay. It's Rory. So you didn't even know that, but you took it down. Impressive. He had an inhaler as well in that movie. I thought it was Alec or Billy.

The inhaler was played by Don Rickles. What? Doing a Baldwin Brother reference. Yeah. There are a lot of them. I was just watching the other day. I was watching the Flintstones movie. And he's in that.

Oh, my God. His greatest work since Biodome. It is dire. Just dire. Rosie O'Donnell? Yeah. I always thought that it was hot. Rosie O'Donnell's afraid of midgets. No. Yeah. How do you know? Just because she runs?

No. She was interviewing Chelsea Handler on her TV show and she said that she doesn't like midgets because she says they're scary looking. Yeah, she said that on the show. Oh, cool. Wow.

She's doing real well. Maybe she's just afraid of one midget. Right. Did Rosie play Fred Flintstone? Yes. Bam, bam. It's a weird movie because she ends up with Wilma in the movie. Betty and Wilma together and they're trying for a child.

Art imitating life. Yep. Life imitating... Well, it's not really art, is it? I wish it was in 3D. It would have made it better. Wouldn't it be great to see a giant puppet dinosaur coming right at your face? All right, let's keep playing. Sorry.

That's okay. So who's going? We're going to start with Brett, and then go to... No, back to Brett. Brad. I don't know if I'm screwing up the order, but I don't care.

Whatever. Because it doesn't matter. This is just for fun, this part. No stress. So just have fun with it, you guys. All right. Like we weren't care. Whatever. Because it doesn't matter. This is just for fun, this part. No stress. All right. So just have fun with it, you guys. All right. Like we weren't before. Before was torture.

Now it's fun. Yes. How is it? Let my hair down. This is going well, right? This is going well. I think so. This has been a fun show, right?

It's been fun. Yeah. I already know who two of the shitheads are, so I'll write them down. We still need to get the third one. Sarah's cookie doesn't have a shithead written on the back of it. Where is Sarah? Where are you at? Can you make your way up to the stage

and we'll have you pick a shithead for the end of the show? Sarah's walking, There she comes. They filmed a movie in my apartment building when I was a kid. Signs? No. I was in a kid one night. You want to know? Yeah.

Roller coaster. I was an extra in a movie. Henry Fond was in it. George Segal. They blow up the roller coaster. Yeah, that was Incense Around. I believe it was the third movie in Incense Around, after Earthquake and Midway. Yeah.

And they finally said, fuck it, let's have this seat shake when people are just riding on a roller coaster. Yep. First grade, I remember I saw all the trucks and everything. George Segal. It was Helen Hunt was in it. Played his daughter in that, yes. Yeah, and Steve Guttenberg, I think, got his first. Timothy Bottoms was the mad bomber that was in it. Played his daughter in that. Yes, that's right. Yeah, and Steve Guttenberg I think got his first... Timothy Bottoms was the

mad bomber that was put in. Ernest Borgnine was the roller coaster. The band Sparks was in it. That's right. Kiss turned it down. Sparks said yes. It was their worst decision ever. I was an extra in Curly Sue. God, you guys are braggarts.

And I sat next to Belush on a plane a couple months ago. Belush? Belush. Jim Belushi. Star of Curly Sue. He was in coach or you were in first? Oh.

Revealing moment. No comment. No, I was in first. I was beingvealing moment. No comment. No, I was in first. I was being flown for a job. Nice. That's the perks of SAG guys.

I can't afford to put myself in first. If you're in the Screen Actors Guild and you have to fly somewhere to work, they have to put you in first class?

Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. Welcome to Hollywood. They do. Hangover one, hangover two, due date.

He would not. How about funny people. He put on a sleep mask. He did? Yeah, he would. Because that's his way of saying, don't talk to me, Gilman. Didn't even look at me. Sat down, put on the sleep mask.

Didn't recognize you from your extra role? What a shithead. I know. Did my sister bedazzle it? Yeah. She bedazzled his career. And his reputation. Red Heat.

Red Heat is a fine film. Red Heat. All right, pick a category, Brett. Would you like... Yeah. It's Molly Ringwald's birthday today. Oh. Oh.

And strangely enough, also, maybe that's why they got along so well, John Hughes' birthday as well. Yeah, they were born on the same day. Shit. We'll have to wait and see if they die on the same day. Strangely enough, also, maybe that's why they got along so well, John Hughes' birthday as well. Yeah, they were born on the same day. Shit. We'll have to wait and see if they die on the same day. The jury's still out on that.

So that would be movies. This is a very simple category. I believe there's probably only like three options. Movies directed by John Hughes featuring Molly Ringwald. directed by John Hughes featuring Molly Ringwald, or at eshamus, S-E-A-M-U-S, suggested Two Dicks, which is not the films of Alan Two Dick, it's the buddy cop films.

Films with two cops. Right here. The category is called Two Dicks. City heat. And then your third category would be from Jaws, L-L-A-R-T, Little. I don't know. Jaws Lartle Little. I don't. Oh, no.

Jars Lart. Little is the next word. Little is the word. You'll get it in a second. Harris Littles? Oh, no. That is his whole name. Jaws Lart Little.

I don't know what that means. But anyway, his suggestion is Sock Blocker, which is movies with footwear in the title. Yeah, Sock Blocker. I'm going to pick Crocs the film. Which one would you like? Two Dicks. Okay, this is...

Brett would like Two Dicks. Okay, this is... Brett would like two dicks. Slowly. This is a cop buddy picture from 19... 12. No, it's from 1986. Two and a half stars

from Leonard. He says about this movie that it is about two cops. He also says... He says that they think they're about to retire. Like that happens in every buddy cop

movie too. He says one of the buddy cops lights up the screen, but otherwise the movie is pretty blah yeah one of the cops lights up the screen otherwise it's blah and he names nine names

how many names do you think you can get it in Brett Gelman people in the audience are murmuring zero oh my god this would have been exciting if it still mattered I'm going for it

all right Brad what do you say I have no idea what this film is so name that movie all right what do you think

it is Brett running scared that's correct boom there's the retired wow I fucking love that movie. We can go down to Florida. Billy Crystal.

Billy Crystal. I'm impressed. He's the host of the Oscars. Gregory Hines. Dancer. That was great. Thank you. That's a great guess.

All right, let's go to... I loved that movie. I was right, so yeah. Good job. This is a good movie. I was thinking 48 Hours. I mean, no, Lethal Weapon. One of them is retiring.

The only part that stuck with me about Running Scared all my life is the scene where they both have a donut and they cheers with the donuts and when they touch the donuts at the end they go, clink. I don't know why I always remember that but it made me laugh at the time that's really weird

otherwise the movie was blah remember the titty shirts when they turn around when they're in Key West and they have titty shirts on and there's like girls roller skating and they turn around and they have airbrushed breasts on their shirts

that's very funny I think Leonard was right about that one. Which one lights up the screen? Crystal. I think it's Billy Crystal, yeah. Poor Gregory Hines. He died of cancer, you fucking asshole.

I thought he lit up the screen too. I thought he was great. That review killed him. Let's play another round. We'll start with Brody on the other end there and then we'll go to Sean. Get them in on the action. Brody, pick a category. Sports movies. Here we go.

Let me see if I even have... Movies starring Brody. Let me see if I have... Hangover 1. I'm going to try to find a sports movie. See if I have one in here. I don't think I do, though. I don't think I have a sports movie in here. I'll name it in zero.

Yeah, I don't have any sports movies. I have... Is Roller Boogie a sports movie? Because they roll in it. They are moving. I've got The Arshy Blows, which is movies where someone

gets a blowjob. Or Hugh Meridian on Twitter suggested Breaking Bald, which is, this is exciting,

the films of the Baldwin brothers. I said them earlier? Yeah, that already came up. And then Here's Johnny, which is a movie where at some point in the film, someone does an impression of Jack Nicholson.

So would you like Jack Nicholson impression, Baldwin Brothers, or Blowjob? I'll go with the Baldwin Brothers. Okay. Baldwin's. Breaking Baldwin. This one is from 1994. Leonard gives it two stars. He says about this movie that it takes one actor in the film's closing moments to bring it to life. And he also says about it that one sexy scene was added for home video. What year?

In a Baldwin movie. What year was that? 94. 94. Two stars. And Leonard lists 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 names. So how many names do you think you can get it in, Brody? I'd probably need three or four.

I don't want to be a hot shot. I think you're finally figuring out how this game works. I don't want to be a hot shot and say two. I'm going to play it honest. You know they go from the bottom, right? Oh, they start from the bottom. Yeah, the lowest ones on the list of the stars, the billing.

So it'll be Quaylar Mandar. And you'll say, what? And then you'll be angry. Who do you think I should say, then? I don't know. Have we said any names in this show? Not yet. Or has the guess always been zero or less?

Zero or less. Or zero. They've always been zero. Okay, so you want us to do three or four? You've got to pick one. Four. Okay, he says four names, Sean. I'm going to say name it.

All right, just do it. Do you want the clues again, Brody? Yeah. Two stars from Leonard. It's got a Baldwin in it. 94. He also says about it that one actor in the film's closing moments

brings it to life and the sexy scene was added later. And out of nine names, your four names are Royce D. Applegate. Burton Gilliam. Oh yeah, I got it. Philip Seymour

Hoffman. Not since Burton Gilliam. Oh, yeah, I got it. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Ooh. Not since I said... Not since Mary Pickford's name came up. Where's Philip Seymour Hoffman from? And Richard Farnsworth. Oh. The great Richard Farnsworth.

The great fox. Or the guy who rode a lawnmower across the country. In this straight story. What do you think, Brody? If you name a movie that has a Baldwin brother in it, you'll at least have a chance. I know. I'm thinking of one I can't think of the title.

It's Miami Blues. Does have a Baldwin in it and the correct Baldwin, Alec, but that's not the correct answer. The correct answer is The Getaway. Oh, remake with Kim Basinger.

Punch it! Punch it! Punch it! See, the remake threw me off. Was that a line from a film or are you just mad about something driving backwards and he's saying punch it

punch it punch it they're trying to get out of there quickly him and Kim Basinger the only part

I really remember that movie is one of the Tillys I think it's Jennifer Jennifer Tilly and Michael Madsen

having sex in front of a guy who's tied to a chair her husband's tied to a chair and they have sex in front of him and it's tied to a chair. Her husband's tied to a chair and they have sex in front of him. And it just made me so unhappy watching that scene.

It's weird. I don't know why... Tilly and Madsen keep it real. I don't think he was really inside her. Oh yeah? It's Tilly and Madsen. Alright, so that's a nice extended Leonard Maltin game.

Let's hear it for all of my guests today, you guys. Thank you. Thank you. Poor Danny. Danny got all the way up to the plate twice and didn't win anything, but at least I'm going to say, should I say the same shithead again? All right, I'll give you the same shithead as yesterday. And thanks, you guys.

Do you have any plugs you want to get in really quick? This podcast will probably come out within a week or so. No major plugs. You can follow me at BrodyIsMeFriend on Twitter. BrodyIsMeFriend. Yes, and that's an homage to my busboys, Tony and Mr. Lee, when I lived in New York and I was a waiter. Brody, you me friend. They're Albanian and Chinese.

And that's my homage to them. And Sean is MrSeanCullen on Twitter. Yes. It looks like Mrs. when you look at it. It looks like Mrs. Ian Cullen. Yeah. Mrs. Ian. It looks like Mrs. Ian Cullen. Yeah. So that's a good wise choice. Anyway, you got anything coming up you want to tell us about? I have my own podcast that I do.

Oh, that's right. You have a podcast as well. Called The Sean Pod. Yes. And people talk to me. I have a great one on right now with, you wouldn't know him probably, with Gordon Pinson. The great Gordon Pinson? Yes.

And he was in, he's hilarious and he's doing poetry now, but he does, he reenacts his great moment in the book. And I think that's a great way to end the show. I think that's a great way to end the show. I think that's a great way to end the show. I think that's a great way to end the show. I think that's a great way to end the show. I think that's a great way to end the show. I think that's a great way to end the show. I think that's a great way to end the show. I think that's a great way to end the show. I think that's a great way to end the show. you wouldn't know him probably, Gordon Pinson. The great Gordon Pinson? Yes, and he's hilarious and he's doing poetry now,

but he reenacts his great moment in Blacula. He plays the detective in Blacula, and he has the best line ever in cinema. Because the two people who bring Blacula to America are these gay antique dealers, gay black antique dealers, and they go missing. And they say to Gordon Pinson, what should we do? And he says, who gives a shit about two, who gives a shit about two fag black antique dealers?

I think that's what it is. Oh, no, who gives a shit about two fag, fuck. Who gives a shit about two fag black vampires? That's what it is. Who gives a shit about two fag black vampires? That's what it is. Who gives a shit about two fag black vampires? It's the greatest time. He must be an amazing actor if he can figure that out without fumbling. Yeah, so tune into that.

Alright, and Brody wants to go. We gotta go back to Brody. I do have a podcast, Brod and Esther, on the Death Squad Joe Rogan Network, and I do that every couple weeks. Brod and Esther, I hop in on a lot of those. Ice House Chronicles, a lot of stuff like that. Who Charted, Howard and Kulop. Yeah, you're on this podcast.

I'm on this podcast. That everybody's listening to right now. And Brad, what do you got coming up? Just constantly touring. Go to bradwilliamscomedy.com for my tour dates. You can follow me on Twitter at FunnyBrad. And it is, and look for him, it's St. Patrick's Day

coming up. Please don't look for me on St. Patrick's Day. Brett Gelman, Gelmania. Gelmania. Happy Endings, playing on planes.

Second season of Eagle Heart. Oh, with Chris Elliott. Chris Elliott. That airs April 12th. And then I'm also going to be on another show on MTV called The Inbetweeners, which will be coming out this summer. So look for that. Awesome.

Yeah. And, you know, you can go find out about all of my stuff at DouglasMovies.com to find stand-up comedy dates and podcast taping dates and locations and ticket purchasing links. Thank you, Vancouver, for coming out today on a beautiful, beautiful afternoon. Let's go watch the rest of the hockey game. And as always, Betty White is a shithead.

David Hasselhoff is a shithead, and the Culkin brothers is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another hockey. He hides above his view and prowess makes him hockey. There's no room in his heart for you, cause the club's moving you