Doug Loves Movies - Sean Cullen, Ian Kinney and Rob Mailloux guest

Episode Date: August 3, 2016

Live from the Helium Comedy Club in Buffalo, Doug welcomes Sean Cullen, Ian Kinney and Rob Mailloux to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screening baby sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is I Love Movies. Oh, is this, are we in a stadium? Coming to you for the first time

from Helium Comedy Club in Buffalo, New York. Yeah. That's right. You can feel the gas. Why is there two empty seats right up front? How did that happen? Are they with you? Because you're just stretching out on one of them.

Yeah, you're going to enjoy it. Put your feet up on one of those chairs. It's Tuesday, August 2nd, 2016. Impress me with your name tags, Buffalo. I knew there would be a lot of them. You guys are always good when I come here for stand-up shows. What is it to the future? Nick to the future?

I think there's another back to the future that I saw on Twitter today. Honey, I shrunk the Kim. Good job, Kim. There's even people in the front row that don't have name tags. How do you work so hard to be up front and then not bother to scribble your name onto some movie poster? That's shocking. What's another one that I could see? It's so funny they're not in the front row. And when I said front row, I thought of Scooby-Doo. Front row. All right right good job everybody go ahead and hide them for now and someone will pick you or they won't I

don't know why my guests picked the name tags that they pick somebody sent one to me on Twitter today there was a picture. They changed it so it was me, but it was like a pot brownie. Or a regular brownie, but like a brownie was taped to it. Are you here? Yeah? Yeah, the pot brownie guy is way in the back.

That makes sense. But like my guests aren't going to pick that because it's my face. You got to do that thing that a lot of people do and guess who the guests are going to be. And then, you know, if you guess wrong, then oh well. Doug plugs, this Thursday,

August 4th, Douglas Movies returns to Toronto, Canada, this time at the Royal Theatre. Oh. Tickets are still available, I think. Saturday, August 6th, I'm doing stand-up at the Funny Bone in Syracuse at 420. Bring your name tags.

And Tuesday, one week from today, Sirius XM subscribers can hear a special episode of this show on the Opie channel from 8 a.m. to 10.30 a.m. Eastern. And they'll rerun it probably throughout the day.

And if you subscribe, you can get it on demand. And I'm interrupting The Rock at the Castro Theater in San Francisco on Saturday, August 13th, also at 4.20. That's like a running thing that I do, you know, if it's a Saturday or Sunday, I'll do this show at 4.20. But somebody, where are you, showed up here today for a 420 show.

They tweeted me about it. Where are you at? Are you here? You're back there? Wait, you were here at 420? Still got shitty seats? Amazing. All right. DouglasMovies.com for more info on these dates and many more.

Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. At Chase MIT, Chase MIT tweeted, Suicide squads, one Asian member is a samurai. It's one Latino is a gang member. If it had a Canadian character, it would be a bottle of maple syrup. This has been Tweet Relief. See you tomorrow, Toronto edition. Let's look in the prize bag, you guys.

All the way. Yeah. I have to travel with this shit, so I can only get away with so much. Customs doesn't care. Customs. TSA doesn't care about a Douglas Movies T-shirt. That got through. And then we've also got

This is fun Have you guys ever seen a movie called Winnebago Man? It's a documentary It's hilarious It's very well done And this is just like a It says please don't duplicate on it This is for private review.

So be cool. But enjoy Winnebago, man, courtesy of me. I got some rolling papers from Viceland. Do you guys have the Viceland Network in Buffalo? Good for you. They're doing a lot of good shit on there. And then, what else is in here? It's like Christmas.

This is fun, I was just at the Traverse City Film Festival and they gave me something that I thought, the less I travel with this, the better. It's like a, what do you call it, a scout's knife? What do they call it? A scout's knife? What do they call them? A what? Swiss Army knife. That's it.

Scouts. But it's got the corkscrew and a knife and a bottle opener. It's got all that stuff. And I got it at the Traverse City Film Festival. So I'll get rid of that as soon as possible. opener it's got all that stuff and uh i got it at the at the uh travers city film festival so get rid of that as soon as possible instead of keeping it in my bag and oh you're gonna love

this this is probably the best thing a rubber pipe from peacemaker only been used once all that stuff is going to be somebody's. In addition to, I've already seen what some of the gifts are from my guests, and they did a good job, so it's going to be a great prize bag. Please give a big, warm Buffalo welcome to Rob Millou, Ian Kinney, and Sean Cullen. Thank you. Seating is tight here on the intimate. That's too much. Woo! Seating is tight here on the intimate Helium Comedy Club stage. It's a gas. It's one of the inert gases.

Let's meet, shush, we're going to meet you individually. Speak what's spoken to. Shh, yeah. That's helium escaping. First time guest, Ian Kinney is here, everybody. Give it up for Ian. Hello. Oh my God, I am so excited to be here.

Western New York comedy phenomenon. Oh my God, you said it. Yeah. You tweeted today that one of your biggest comedy dreams is coming true tonight And I was just curious, what is that? Meeting Sean Cohen That's not true That's a pretty good comedy dream, I think

And thank you for being here, dude Dude, thanks for having me This really is a dream come true I'm so stoked to be here I don't mean to blow up your spot But like you know we we interacted on Twitter and I thought he'd be a good guest on the show and he came down here I know what I did not expect was as soon as he walked into the green room He's like do you want to smoke this joint?

And I was like, I didn't even know that about you and I picked you to be on this show Yeah, so that's you know, my instincts are spot on. And you came in kind of also like, I'm going to kick ass at the games. Dude, I fucking love this show. I'm ready to fucking, you know, these chumps beside me? Nothing. Come on.

That chump that was your dream to meet him, and now he's a chump. It's so hurtful. It's hurtful. He didn't live up to my expectations back in that green room, so I'm going to have to knock him down a peg. Yeah, well, Sean, it's always exciting, because you're like, is he going to have a hat on?

If he does, what kind of hat is it going to be? Exactly. Yeah, he's always changing it up. Well, thanks for being here, dude. Also, a good friend of mine is here. Give it up for Rob Malou, everybody. Hello. That's a lot of fake applause.

No, they're a nice crowd. They don't know who you are, but they know that I like you, so that's enough reason to give it up. You've been on lots of my stand-up shows, and we play Doug Loves Movies games with the audience after, and you're terrible. I'm not particularly good at it.

I will say, I'm going to be far more competitive now, because I don't like Ian's fake shitty confidence that he has in this. It's making me, the alpha male in me is getting real, like, I want to win now. Okay, well that's good. I'm excited about that. Let's do it.

And now I should say, I met you in Toronto where you were for a long time, but now you're based in New York, New York City. Where? You've heard of it. No, I haven't. I'm just mentioning that because people should come out and see you at your shows and stuff. I appreciate that.

I'm here tomorrow. What? Yeah, no, it's fine. Yeah, I was going to say, no, we got to go to Toronto tomorrow, dude. What are you doing to me? And folks, Sean Cullen is here. Yep, hi.

It's a delight to be among you. What a delight. One of my dreams was to meet Ian One of my comedy dreams And also to have someone mention That I wear a hat So two of those have come true And I also wanted to meet a guy Who looks a bit like Rasputin

And I've done it Wait, I've never heard it pronounced that way I call it Rasputin Rasputin. And I've done it. Wait, I've never heard it pronounced that way. I call it Rasputin. Rasputin sounds like a... Raspberry Poutine? Yeah, like some sort of food. I'm sorry. Do I have to sing it?

Rah, rah, Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen. He was a cat who really was gone. Rasputin. They changed the pronunciation of Rasputin so it would rhyme with queen? No, I think that originally it was Rasputin because it's a different language.

It's not what we think it should sound like. It's what they think it should sound like. Maybe I like Russians too much. Maybe I love Putin. Maybe I like Russians too much. Maybe I love Putin. Maybe I love Putin. I'm excited to call Putin, Putin. I want to open...

It somehow seems degrading, but also official. I want to open Vladimir Putin and just have his face, bare chest, and then you get fries and gravy and cheese. Yeah, and maybe you can ride around on a horse out back.

A wrestling leopard. Yeah. A snow leopard. Sean. Yes? What? What? Finally!

We're going to get this out in the open. Do you know that there's an actor from Buffalo named Sean Cullen? Yes. And he's on House of Cards. He's also in Michael Collins, right? Yeah, he was in a bunch... Not Michael Collins.

What was that movie with... Michael Clayton. Michael Clayton. Dude, that's the Sean Cullen I thought I was meeting. I know. He's in tons of episodes of Law and Order as well. You look different in person, Sean Cullen.

Yeah, I don't look as guilty. You've committed a lot of crimes. I did. What I love about Law and Order is everybody is so angry to see the police. I would just be like, well, what do you need, please?

What can I do? Yeah, how can I help you? But they knock on your door, and people open the door in New York City, and they go, what? What do you want? What? What is it? We're investigating a murder that happened next door. Yeah, I'm trying to cook dinner for my kids.

Could you just... Whatever! Walk away! Things are hard in New York City, John. Oh, jeez. I just don't understand it. And it always opens with someone... Oh, you know, that show wasn't very good. I didn't like it.

When the guy came out of the door... Oh, my God! that show wasn't very good. I didn't like it. When the guy came out of the door, oh my God! There's a dead guy! That's the opening of every show. Oh, people are just talking about their business and they stumble onto a body. Yeah, that's right. Hey, do you guys love ice cream?

Hey, I love ice cream. Should we get an ice cream from the guy? Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Hey, I'm so, your mother is such a bitch, I can't get over it. Like, all we wanna do is have a nice, oh my God!

Ba ba ba ba ba. The theme song kicks in right after that. That's it. I love it. But you know this. You know this. Me? Yeah. You live it. You're in New York.

I live in Bedside Brooklyn. Yeah, exactly. It happens every minute. You walk out of your house and you're like, I'm just trying to look at my... Oh my God! My street does have the lights they use to film a set for a movie. They're just on all the time. They got clean lights on your street? Just all the time. My street does have the lights they use to film a set for a movie.

They're just on all the time. They got cleat lights on your street? Just all the time. They never stop being on because that way people won't just murder each other on the street. Oh my God! They're there to prevent Sean from screaming, oh my God, on my street. You want to illuminate the bodies. You want to. Because people wouldn't see them otherwise.

They just continue on with their very aggressive conversations with each other. Well, Sean, Colin, congratulations, because this is your 30th appearance on the show. Jesus! I'm sorry. I'm sorry you can't find anyone else. I'm sorry there's no one else. I just made that number up. You liar. But you've been on it a few times. It felt high.

And you're always a, well, as do I. You're always a terrific guest. And it's great to see you again. But let's go to Rob for what he brought for the prize. Sure. Talk us through it. All right. It's a big pink bag.

It's a beautiful bag. Let's start with this first. That's not beautiful at all. I wanted to make sure I had layers. This looks like anything in a plastic bag like that. So here's cookies from your hotel. Don't guess what chain of hotel Gives you free cookies There's a couple of assorted soaps

A decaf coffee package Oh you kept the regular I kept the regular I'm not going to drink decaf What do I look like Oh soap It's the face soap, though. Just to be clear, it's not for your body.

You kept your bath soap. That's smart. It's not dick soap. Yeah. It's not. Then there's some sort of lotion or something. The body lotion. I'm a dry guy.

I'm not going to use body lotion. All right. It's not. So there's that. Dick lotion. Dick lotion. But what else do you have? Alright And then we have

Just an assortment of shirts Oh You get a whole wardrobe Full of shirts in here Oh Coors Light shirt Coors Light shirt Oh my god

I hate Coors Heavy That's a You don't like Coors Fat? I hate it Stubborn A Jack Daniels shirt I think might be for a girl You don't like Coors Fat? I hate it. Stubborn. A Jack Daniels shirt? I think it might be for a girl. These are all great for driving home late at night.

It doesn't stop. A Corona shirt? Corona. One of those is a guy's shirt. One of those is a girl's shirt. And that's an extra large. Whoever wins are going to be able to dress their whole family. What's happening is as you move

down towards the equator, you could be an asshole at every latitude. Jack Daniels again. This is a cool t-shirt. You guys can go out on Halloween as both alcoholics. Jen Kirkman's book, I Can Barely Take Care of Myself.

That's a, alright. She's great. She's been on the show before. I'll sign it instead of her. But I'll sign her name. A couple of berry-flavored five-hour energy drinks. You know what? One berry-flavored five-hour energy drinks. You know what? Tell you what.

One berry-flavored five-hour energy drink because I've been up for a bit. I don't know. The most of it is just a handful of pens they gave me. Yeah, so you got to the club and said, I don't have anything great for the prize bag. And they said, Jim Brewer. They gave you this bag of shit. I mean, I love't have anything great for the prize bag. And they said, Jim Brewer. They gave you this bag of shit. I mean, I love Jim Brewer.

I should reveal that the comedy club was like, we don't need fucking Jim Brewer's DVD. Just give it to the people. It's hardcore. There's a ton of pens and cards and magnets. And literally complimentary passes for every shitty comic ever that can't sell

tickets for the rest of the year. Especially Ian Kinney. They do not have shitty comics here at Helium. It's a gas. Wait a minute. All of that in a big pink bag. Thank you for that, Rob. What do you got, Ian?

Nice. Can you top that, bitch? Dude, I'm about you. I fucking sky high on DVD. A great movie with Kurt Russell. And you know what happens when you go sky high? No. Eventually, you hit the vertical limit.

Oh! This is a bag that leaves... This prize bag game is strong He came with a prize bag He thought about what shit he was going to give away He has segues to his gifts Alright, not this last one though This isn't really a good movie for a bunch of people

But it's Fantastic 4-1 Fantastic 4-1 The Fantastic 4-1. The original with Chris Evans, Jessica Elba. Oh my god, I just want to dive into that bag. You could have also, there's four of us, you should have written for that one. Alright, I got one

more thing here. It's a book that was put together by Judd Apatow that I really liked. It features writing by, like, Jon Stewart and Steve Martin and some other people. And inside, because these movies are terrible, there's a $25 gift certificate

to Regal Cinemas. Jesus! God damn it! You are never going to be happy. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute! That's a sweet and sour gift happy. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That's a sweet and sour gift bag. Wait a minute. That's a Calvin Klein bag.

And it's in a Calvin Klein bag. So this is designer crap. I bought a pair of socks there once. Oh, hello. What do you got, Sean? Well, I have... Everybody brought their own bag, so someone's going home.

It's a four-bagger tonight. It's a four-bagger. I work a lot in animation, so I do a lot of voices in animation and stuff like that. So somebody gave me this bag, which is from Adventure Time. Very cool Adventure Time bag. It's a nice, one of the finer neoprene bags you might find.

And because we're in Buffalo, and I know, I think Toronto Maple Leafs and the Buffalo Sabres have one of the greatest rivalries in sport. And I just want to give you our shit. So this is...

This is a doll of James Reimer, our backup goalie who was traded to the... We got a third round draft pick for him. That's right. We got a third round draft pick. We're rebuilding people. And everybody's favorite, Dion Phaneuf, ladies and gentlemen. Dion Phaneuf. Alicia Cuthbert's husband, Dion Phaneuf? ladies and gentlemen. Dion Phaneuf.

Alicia Cuthbert's husband, Dion Phaneuf? Yeah, that's right. And I also have, wait a minute. Just a second. I know there's one more thing in here. I love that their heads are sticking out of it. They just seem like babies. They are like babies.

They are like babies. And a bottle of A1 steak sauce. So it's not completely worthless. You can sauce up your meat. If the winner makes videos, little vines or just videos of them destroying these dolls as violently as possible,

I will totally retweet them. He's so happy. Look at how happy he is. He's so happy to be in an Adventure Time bag. But nobody here is going to be proudly displaying these. I won't be proudly displaying them. They suck balls.

But that's a great bag. It'd be fun to put one in a garbage disposal and film it. Like when they're just getting torn apart and torn into the thing. A weed whipper? Yeah. Oh, that would work too. Yeah. A weed whipper or a tree snapper.

Or a cat flapper. There you go. But don't break that bottle of A1. Come on. I don't think it's possible to break a bottle of A1. Like, that bottle is pretty indestructible. It will heal itself. Like, if I was in a bar fight,

that's not the bottle I would grab and smash on the table. But you know what? Once you were making love to that guy you were fighting, he'd taste amazing. Because everyone knows men who fight each other want to fuck each other.

It's the old fucker fight. The fucker fight instinct. All right, well, we started late, so throughout the show I'll have no idea where we are. I mean, I'm pretty sure we're in Buffalo, but you guys are cool. Buffalo's got a feeling, talking proud,

talking proud. Alright, no. Is that a real song? Yes. Are you kidding? They were trying to rejuvenate Buffalo several times. Still are.

Hi, I'm Irv Weinstein. Channel 7 News. Tonight, a scorcher on the east side as another person burns down his own home trying to get the insurance. And if they want that insurance,

they should call Celino and Barnes and Zuri Insurance. Something, something, something. 808, 808, 808. Something like that. All one number. House of Guitars, man. Let's start with you, Rob.

The question I ask every guest on every episode when I remember to. What was the last motion picture that you saw in any format? I'll go non-documentary because I found it more interesting. It was the Cloverfield, the new Cloverfield, the 10 Cloverfield Lane. You just went out of your way to slag documentaries? Yeah, to go to Cloverfield. Before complimenting a narrative film?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Cloverfield is great, but also it feels like you don't watch movies much because that came out in February. Yeah, I've been particularly poor since I moved to New York, so going to see movies has been a lot more difficult. Oh, yeah, movies. Did you guys know a movie ticket in New York is $45?

No, I'm just poorer. Yeah, yeah, well, whatever your income is there, you've got to save it for those expensive martinis. Yeah. Because you're like one of those Sex and the City girls. But 10 Cloverfield Lane, that was worth paying for. Really good movie.

I loved it. Last 10 minutes sucked. What? I didn't like the last 10 minutes. Well, most people that I talked to and me...

You haven't talked to anybody about this. Part of what's great about that movie is I felt it worked all the way through, but I'm not going to argue with you about the last 10 minutes.

Why don't you? It's more fun. At least you got a lot of enjoyment until then. John Goodman was fantastic in it. Yeah, he's very good. He's always good. All those actors are good. Do we avoid spoilers? We've talked about it a lot on this show already. Perfect. I'm sort of looking

for fresh, new, exciting things for people to go check out instead of watch this movie everybody's seen already. I know Stranger Things isn't a movie, but I just went through Stranger Things. Stranger Things, you guys. You're watching Stranger Things. It's not a movie, but it's kind of a movie.

It's on Netflix, and I watched a few minutes of it and went, oh, great, this is really good. Now I've got to fucking watch eight hours of this. It bummed me out, because I really good. Now I gotta fucking watch eight hours of this. Like, it bummed me out. Like, because I really, I wanted to see movies mostly. Eight free hours I didn't have to pay for, so it was perfect. Right, well that's good.

Like, yeah, people, well you do not, you have someone else's Netflix account? Of course I do, yeah. If you just live long enough, like, and meet enough people, you just get HPV and a Netflix account. Those are two things you get. That's just nature. It's one of the first things you get off of a person.

Hey, I don't want to fuck you, but what's your Netflix? I just want to know your taste in movies. And then you're in. Yeah, right, because if you have someone else's Netflix, it'll say, you know, here's what you'll love to see. Now I know more about you. I don't want to watch My Pretty Pony movie.

I love My Pretty Pony. I love My Little Pony. I mean, I like ponies. You're a brony? I really think it's funny and quite brilliant. My Little Pony. There's like two different documentaries on the people that love those movies. It's amazing.

It's well written, funny, weird, and amazing. And it's got a good message. Yeah, it is. The message of love and friendship is magic. It is, Sean. That's how I feel about us. Yeah, I know. Let's make some magic together. I watched a good trailer for a documentary last night. That's how I feel about us. Yeah, I know. Let's make some magic together.

I watched a good trailer for a documentary last night. It's not out yet. I haven't found a stream of it anywhere, but it's called Tickling. Oh, my God! Yeah, you know what I'm talking about? It looks like the most fascinating... Did you just find a dead body? No. No.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Send in the weeds. Ha ha! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Send in the weeds! Send in the weeds, wait for his time! Absolutely, that is unbelievable.

I think it's called Tickle. Tickle. Yeah, yeah. And it's just this guy who's a journalist who hears about these bizarre videos of people... Competitive tickling. Competitive tickling who tickle

each other to the point where it's insanity. But then when he tries to contact them and do a movie about them, they say, fuck you, pal. Don't even talk to us. It's like tickling Scientology. Oh my god. It's insanity. It's pretty fantastic. Check out tickling.

Is what I would say. Tickle. Check out Tickling, guys. Go home, tickle your partner. Who knows what they're going to find if they look up Tickling. That's the fun. They might find a tiny Swiss village.

Ian, what's the last movie you saw? Oh my god. So I saw two, and the problem is they're blending together in my head because they were kind of similar. Listen, dude. You cannot possibly have seen two movies last unless you weirdly watched them on two different devices.

All right. What was the last movie you saw? The last one, Zootopia. That's a great movie. Yes, I enjoyed it immensely. I thought it was superb. Sorry. I was like, I'm a greedy dude.

Sue! Sue! You got greedy. Are you kidding me? All right. Is it in your Tope 5? Was Pia Sidora in it? Okay, I was all alone. All alone on that one.

All right, Ian, what was the other one? Because we still have not found a buried treasure that no one knows about. Well, the other one was the Purge election year. I have not seen that yet. How does it hold up in the Purge trilogy? Honestly, I don't hate those movies. I'm not a huge fan of them. I love the premise, but I haven't liked the first two.

Convince me to watch the new one. Dude, I like that guy who's in the second one from Captain America Civil War. I think his name's Frank Grillo. He's like the lead in the third one. I just fucking like that guy. He's tough as shit. I like him.

All right. So the movie was okay. You know, Zootopia was fucking way better. There's a lot of, it's a higher body count in Zootopia. There's a cute bunny in Zootopia. Absolutely. Swaths. Sean, what do you got?

Well, it's not a current film. Oh, god damn it. The thing is, if I said my most current film, it would be Batman vs. Superman, which is horrible. There's no reason to get into that. I know. But I saw a movie, I pulled it out of the darkness, and I was just like, oh my god, I love that, I'm interested, because I'm into Viking culture. What? It's called

Valhalla? Have you ever heard of it? I mean, I've heard of Valhalla. I know. As a concept. But the movie is called Valhalla. Picture Valhalla. Yeah, and I got into this. How old is it?

It's about five years old. Valhalla Rising. Valhalla Rising! Thank you! We don't need to know that Vikings give you a boner. Yes, we do. Points, Sean. That's how the show works, right?

Points? No, but it's this great... Who's the guy who plays... You'll know. You'll know. Who's the guy who plays Hannibal? Mads Mikkelsen. Mads Mikkelsen is the best.

Mads Mikkelsen is fucking amazing. That guy is so great. So he is this guy, it's all about this little boy, it's at the end of the pagan era, the Christian era is just starting in the Viking world, but they still have this one guy,

Mads Mikkelsen, who is in a cage, he is missing an eye, he is a berserker, and they release him against their enemies, and it is fucking amazing. Like,

he is a murderer. Like, beyond belief. But it's about this kid trying to figure out, I'm being taught by priests, but this guy seems way fucking cooler than anybody. So that's the last movie I actually watched. He stars in a movie called The Hunt that's amazing. Oh, my God.

And have you ever seen Men vs. Chicken? Oh, my God, it's funny. He's so good at it. He's so hilarious. Hilarious. He's a great dramatic actor, a great comedic actor, different languages. Well, I think that those Scandinavians are right on the verge of madness. Yeah.

Aren't they? Like, there's this, ah! Death. There's no part that he won't take. Like, I don't want to be a child molester. I don't want to be a murderer. You know what it is? European actors train to act.

Right? They're not like, in America, and I'm sorry America, and please don't... We're just in the tip of it. It's cool. It's okay. This is barely America. If you are a guy who has cute eyes, you can have an acting career.

Like, you're in. And people will hire you to be the same thing over and over again. But if you're Mads Mikkelsen, you'll be like, I have to fucking be a hundred different characters. I actually have to act to get money to

stay alive. And that's the same with British actors, and you know, they just have to act to get money to stay alive. And that's the same with British actors. And, you know, they just have to be able to do a lot of different things. They just can't show up and say, Hi, I'm Brad Pitt. Do you like my monkey face? Is that a 12 Monkeys reference? He's got a weird monkey face. He really does.

Are you attacking Brad Pitt's face right now? A little bit. I mean, he's beyond... Women, I meet them constantly that say Brad Pitt is not handsome. No, he's got a weird pushed in monkey face. But I don't think he's a bad actor. He's a great actor. A great actor. I think he's very good.

Ugly bastard, great actor. Brad Pitt. That's what we're saying. He's got a fucked up face, but boy can that Brad Pitt act. What an unfuckable hack. But what's weird is that kind of actor in America

is so rare. Like somebody who's like Robert De Niro, Brad Pitt, or I can't list. Shia LaBeouf. Like Shia LaBeouf, Dustin Hoffman. Somebody who's going to make themselves accept that they might be ugly and go, I will be this ugly, awful character. There's very few who will do that.

But Brad Pitt has never done like the makeup thing. Like he's never played an ugly, he's never played Elephant Man or anything. He's very few who will do that. But Brad Pitt has never done the makeup thing. He's never played an ugly, he's never played Elephant Man or anything. He's always a handsome guy. There was Benjamin Button. Benjamin Button. He did get old. He did get old. What a crime. Stop getting old, people. No, but he's not afraid to be a fucking weirdo.

Yeah. I think he wants to be a character actor, but he's a handsome guy. He's handsome enough that he can do the lead. He was ugly like literally 20 seconds ago. No. There's something compelling about him. He says he's ugly. No, listen, there's something compelling about him, obviously, because there's some inner thing that people love and it infuses his face.

Who wants to fuck Brad Pitt out there? Round of applause. Guys. That doesn't mean anything. Hey, there are a lot of ugly people that people want to fuck too because they're amazing. Right? Am I wrong?

Mads Mikkelsen is a weird looking guy but people would fuck him. Who wants to fuck Mads Mikkelsen? Yeah, a lot of women. Not a lot of men yelling out now. Weird. Weird. Weird. But what I love about,

like one of my favorite movies that Brad Pitt has been in is California with a K, right? He was so fucking repulsive in that movie and very few handsome leading men would even choose to do that film. Right, that was early on in his career. He said, I'm going to be a character actor even though I'm a handsome leading man and yeah I'll watch anything he's in because he makes interesting choices I'd like his wife to

direct him in less movies yeah absolutely through by the scene it was a boring piece but snatch. He was fucking crazy in that. Snatch is incredible. Awesome movie. Like Brian Pitt sitting around worried what we think. No, but I just think my point is overall that when you live in a culture where you can't just make two million dollars on a film and then walk away, and then, you know, you have to actually learn your craft and do things well, and then finally it comes to you,

like Christoph Waltz, am I wrong? Yeah. That guy is fucking unbelievable, but he lived in the weeds in Europe, and then he got his Quentin Tarantino tap on the shoulder, and now he's a fucking real actor? Well, he came in to, I was just reading or listening about how he came in for Inglourious Bastards,

and they were, he was, you know, Quentin Tarantino had written a role that would be hard for anybody to play. Of course. Where they have to talk in different languages and just be shitty but polite at the same time. And, you know. And he came in and auditioned and nailed it.

I also think that his part in Django Unchained is the reason that movie's great. Well, he is the crux on everything. Everything turns on that. He's like, I can't keep my mouth shut right now. I'm going to shoot this guy in the face. I can't

do the right thing or the smart thing. I have to kill him. And everything hinges on that after that. He's unbelievable. He's great, but now he's appearing in too many... He's a dick now. No, now he's in too many things.

No, he's not in My Best Friend's Wedding yet. What? They're not doing My Best Friend's Wedding yet. They're not doing My Best Friend's Wedding 2, and he's not playing the host. Did you see Big Eyes? Oh, yeah. Tim Burton? Yeah, I did. He was really miscast. As soon as you say Tim Burton,

I'm out. I hate Tim Burton, too. Tim Burton has lost his shit. I'm tired of it. It's the same damn fucking Hollywood movie. Alice in Wonderland and then...

Most of us think production design is the most important part of a movie. If you don't agree, if you want a story and interesting characters, you can go fuck yourself.

What? What is the... Could you actors get out of the way? Could you actors get out of the way? Could you actors get out of the way

so people can see that weird tree? Could you actors get out of the way? Could you actors get out of the way so people can see that weird tree? Could you actors, the only thing humans relate to, could you get out of the way so that we can see that weird waterfall that goes upwards? You can't see that every day. It's worth $17.50 The multiplex

Or whatever it costs here I'm sorry, I don't know why I went off in that direction It's all good We had a lovely discussion We all walked away friends I don't know if that's true of Ian and I I have no idea what the fuck you were talking about Yeah

Ian is a dick His dream was to meet me And then he blew it I have no idea what the fuck you were talking about. Yeah. Ian is a dick. His dream was to meet me, and then he blew it. I mean, he really blew it. Like, it was horrible. They say don't meet your heroes. Yeah, that's it. I don't want to meet Achilles.

That guy's a he. Oh! Oh! Oh! All right, you can turn the show off now, Bert Kreischer, because I'm about to say... Let the games begin! I'm so excited! Gentlemen,

these folks have all worked hard on their name tags, except for people in the front row for some reason. So I would like you to pick whoever you'd like to play for. Can we bring the house lights up a little bit? And while you choose your name tags, we're going to do a brief commercial message. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody.

Tonight's episode is brought to you in part by our friends at loot crate loot crate is a monthly subscription box service for epic geek and gamer items and pop culture gear you think i'd be better at saying that by now for less than 20 bucks a month you get four to eight items that include licensed gear app collectibles, unique one-of-a-kind items, and more. Make sure to head to LootCrate.com slash Doug and enter the code Doug to save three dollars on any new subscription. Loot Crate is more than just a subscription service. It's an entire community of fans that share their experience and interact with each other around the unboxing of each month's crate. I unboxed a crate on an episode of the show recently.

And they guarantee, and it was proof when I unboxed that one crate, that there's $40 plus in value in every crate. Sometimes it's a lot more. Every month there's a different theme, and all items are curated around that theme. Previous crates have included items from franchises like Star Wars, Marvel, The Walking Dead, and many more. From bad guys doing good things for the wrong reason to good guys with questionable tactics, August is the perfect time to explore the anti-hero. Walk the hero-slash-villain line with this 100% exclusive collection of items from DC Comics,

Dark Horse, and Kill Bill. Yay! Kill Bill! They include two great collectibles, a wearable, and of course our monthly tea! And don't forget about that pin! Remember you only have until the 19th at 9pm Pacific time to subscribe and receive that month's crate, and when the cutoff happens that's it, it's over, so go to LootCrate.com slash Doug and enter the code Doug to save $3 on your new subscription today. Hey, before we get back to the show, I'd also like to talk to

you a little bit about our friends from Squarespace. Whether you need a landing page, a beautiful gallery, a professional blog, or an online store, it's all included with your Squarespace website it's easy creating your website with Squarespace is a simple intuitive process you can add and arrange your content and features with the click of a mouse free custom domain Squarespace adding a domain to your site is simple if you sign up for a year you'll receive a custom domain for a year for free beautiful templates design a best-in-class online store with you sign up for a year, you'll receive a custom domain for a year for free. Beautiful templates design a best in class online store with Squarespace's award-winning templates, customizable settings, and more all without a single plugin. Seamless commerce tools from

nationally recognized brands to your favorite local shops. Squarespace is trusted by hundreds of thousands of savvy shop owners around the world including all the tools you need to track inventory process orders and send custom emails in one intuitive interface Squarespace commerce allows you to understand every aspect of your business customer support we can't forget that Squarespace offers 24 7 customer support every member of the customer care team is an experienced Squarespace user working in a Squarespace office. No matter how technical your problem or trivial seeming your question, one of their team is always online to assist you. So what are you waiting for?

Start your free trial today at squarespace.com. Enter the code Doug to get 10% off your first purchase. Squarespace, set your website apart. We're back. Drugs do things to you. Who are you playing for, Sean? Well, I am playing for... Dirty Danny. It is... Instead of Dirty Dancing. Oh, yeah, Dirty Danny. It is... Instead of Dirty Dancing.

Okay, Dirty Danny. Have the time of your life, but it's Danny Trejo and Doug Benson. And... And I don't want to spoil it right now, but I saw the shithead on the back. Oh, it's good. I'm going to reveal that at the end,

but it's especially strange that someone picked that as their shithead when they have the Latino Danny Trejo on their poster. Don't show everybody. Don't show everybody. Who is this though? Danny, that's you over there. She's over there. Okay, it's a lady named Danny.

Danielle? A lady named Danny. All right, Ian? I went with Catch Me If You Can. I believe the name is Kat. Kat. Kat. Kat has been tweeting at me all day,

and it's not irritating at all. She got brought to your world. I love that she recast Catch Me If You Can with me and Bert Kreischer. Yeah, yeah. Bert Kreischer's running after me. I feel confident I'll get away. Hashtag Bert is fat.

No! No fat shaving on this show. But good job, Kat. And who do you have, Rob? This is just the easiest pun one, I thought. Oh, my God. Dead Paul. Yeah.

He's like down the center. I went to the back. I'm one of the people. You weren't attracted by all these mini hundred thousand, hundred grand bars? As a Canadian,

I don't actually know what a hundred grand bar is. A hundred grand bar is Britain. Can you eat one right now? It is a British bar. That's what you think of it. It's got Rice Krispies, chocolate.

Stop saying what's in it. And goddamn caramel. Fuck you, eat it! It'll blow your fucking mind! It's good, right? It's a good bar. Oh, yeah. They don't have any of that bullshit wafer in the middle.

It's just full-on caramel chocolate. You don't like a wafer in there? You don't like a Kit Kat? Nothing bullshit like that! Call it an anti-wafer for a long time. Wafer, wafer, wafer. Sean Cullen, angry about candy.

I'm angry about wafers. Do not give a shit about that. Great job picking your name tags. Great job making name tags. Thank you. And apologies to everyone who didn't get selected,

which is most of you. All of you have really failed. Don't go out of here saying that you're a loser. Go out of here saying that you're one of many losers. That might be my favorite chocolate bar of all time. That's a really good chocolate bar. Yeah, they're good. It's pretty goddamn good.

It used to be a $100,000 bar, but they changed it to $100,000 because I guess that's, you know, then you can make a fun size and it's in bold, big letters. You know what I want is something that's not fun size. Something that's miserable-sized.

I want to know more about Sean. Does that mean it's so big you feel uncomfortable finishing it? Listen, it's so big I feel bad that people in fucking Hanoi have not got this shit. Where is Hanoi? And they'll never eat it it and they're always fucking desperate for food and I am eating a goddamn giant log of delight.

I will never find anything that I would call a log delightful to eat. I guess we'll never be lovers, Doug. I dodged that bullet. The first game

we're going to play tonight is a fairly new one that I love. It's called Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau. Inflation? Inflation Bureau. Hereflation? Inflation Bureau. Here's the deal, you guys. I'm going to name an actor.

And by actor, I mean actor or actress. The word means both. And... I don't think so, man. Black Lives Matter. Really? You groaned at that? I don't know. I just thought I'd throw it out to get people on my side.

To this entirely white audience? I know. Wait a second. There's no black people here? There's no black person at Buffalo because they're smart. Am I wrong? Oh, my God. We've lost it.

This is uncomfortably white. We've lost it. Holy shit. We've lost it. We've lost it. I'm sorry. I saw a few black gentlemen at the bar I was in earlier. It's an audio podcast, so Doug doesn't have to prove that.

And they are. I'm telling you, they were real. They were real as fuck. No, they kept it real, Doug. And they're gentlemen. They're gentlemen. They're real gentlemen. Very polite.

I need to determine an order in which you guys are going to go. I didn't realize that when I put this game first. So I'm going to say, oh, Rob has volunteered to start. Okay, here we go. But can you explain the game? The game is, whoever goes first Whoever stabs himself in the throat wins. If you murder yourself,

you win. Rob, go. Alright, well, you know what? Sean's been on the show the most, and probably also, I don't know Ian's knowledge that well, but I think Sean, you know, is going to do pretty well. I think Ian is a fucking genius.

Thank you. But. Just based on the size of his forehead? Yeah. It's enormous. What are you talking about? I know. What are you talking about?

Rob's forehead forehead for the listeners goes all the way to the back of his neck. Exactly. I'm beautiful. If you want to subscribe to Rob's forehead, go to robsforehead.com. Dot C-A. We already had the dot com.

That doesn't make any sense You can't make it more dotted So Rob Rob's gonna go first Cause he talked me into it Alright And then Ian And then Sean

Oh my god Yeah I know Sorry But I think you'll I think you still will do okay We'll see Also this game doesn't matter.

Doesn't determine the winner. Games matter. Rob, I'm going to say the name of an actor or actress. And then you tell me the movie that you think is their top grossing movie, adjusted for inflation. Jesus. And if you're correct, if you're right,

if you get one that's within the top three, you get three points for number one, two points for number two, and one point for number three. All right. And we'll play four rounds, and then I've also got a tiebreaker. That's an utter reversal. What? It's an utter reversal of the point system.

Like, I mean, three for one. Two for two. Two for two, and then one for three? Yeah. It's madness. How are people supposed to follow along at home? I do recaps. Okay.

I'll keep everybody posted about how it's going to the best of my ability. God damn it, you're amazing. And yeah, and these are grosses that are adjusted for inflation, which sometimes might matter, sometimes not, and it's according to boxofficemojo.com. Jesus.

And this game is also sometimes called Valhalla Rising. Mads Mikkelsen. Mojo Rising. Alright, so I'll name an actor and we start with Rob and everybody gets a chance, but you have to say a different movie when it gets to you. Rob, name what you think

might be in the top three films of all time for an actress who goes by the name Christina Applegate. Anchorman. Correct title, please. Anchorman, A Legend of Ron Burgundy. Okay. All right, Ian, what do you think is in our top three?

Man, that's tough. That would have been the one I would have thought of, but I'll go with just one I fucking love. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead. Adjusted for inflation, you never know. I mean, I know, because I'm looking at it, and it's not there. Yeah.

Fuck your applause. I got the right answer probably. And Sean? I think I have to go to try and get the points. Anchorman 2. What's the correct title? Yes. Anchorman 2.

Ron Burgundy enjoys drinking scotch. Alright, that's your final answer? Not really, but it's all I've got. Okay, coming in at number one, Alvin and the Chipmunks, The Squeakquel. A great movie. A great movie. With one of the geniuses of comedy. Number two, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Chipwrecked.

David Cross, ladies and gentlemen. David Cross. But number three... Wait, David Cross was in the first one He was in the second one too He's in Chipwrecked Okay Is he even sure You don't call the third one a squeak wall You are if you're a fucking artist

Number three you are if you're a fucking artist. Number three, Anchorman 2. I didn't get it, though. The legend continues. Oh, okay. I got it wrong. I got it wrong. Yeah, those are tough.

Those are tough. It's part of the fun. Okay, so let's recap. Rob has zero. Ian has zero. Sean has zero. See how it's not that hard to keep track? Listen.

Is Baby Sooner on the list? Shut up! Shut up! The movie she was in? What the fuck does that mean? Shut up! She's, yeah, it might In? What the fuck does that mean? Shut up! Yeah, it might be on the list of films she was in. We only had three.

Didn't crack the top three. I'm guessing the other, Anchorman was probably four, and Five was anything but Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Day. Bad Moms has probably already made more money. Alright, here's the next name. And so just to keep it safe and fun. Safe. I don't want anyone to get hurt.

I don't want anyone to get hurt. No one's gonna get hurt. We'll start with Ian and then go to Sean and then Rob. Let's do it. Eat some more chocolate delight! Ian, what's in the top three films ever, according to Box Office Mojo, adjusted for inflation for Kristen Bell?

Oh. Former guest on this show, hopefully future guest. Yeah, I'm going to go Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Forgetting Sarah Marshall. People would forget that one. But you membered it. I've got this. What do you got, Sean? I got Frozen.

He's going Frozen. Risky concept. Do you want to build a snowman? Come on, let's go and play. Sometimes I don't see you anymore. Come out the door. It's like you've gone away. We used to be best

buddies, but now we're not. I wish you would tell me why. Do you want to build a snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman. Okay, bye. She just gives up with okay, bye

and just agrees to live in exile for another 15 years. There are so many holes in that story, I can't even start. What cunts her parents are, they're awful people. Hey, you've got an amazing gift. Hide it. Hide it. We're going to go on a trip. See you soon.

You're shameful. You're a shameful human being. Stay in your goddamn room. Don't talk to your sister ever. It's a pretty good life lesson for anybody watching it because it's just like, put a glove on it.

Yeah. Oh! Slam it! May I have another Tito's of soda? Rob, do you have a guess? Frozen 2, the legend of fucking Ursula, or whatever her name was. I got nothing, but Kristen Bell, I'm sorry.

I was going to do Anger, or whatever. That's fine. Forgetting Sarah Marshall. You nailed it. You can't say the same movie. I know. All right. That's the point.

Coming in at number three, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. You nailed it. You can't say the same movie. I know. All right. That's the point. Coming in at number three, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Oh, Ian. Good job. Ian's on the board with a point. Number two, it slips my people because I think it's a classic.

Veronica Mars, the movie? Couples Retreat. Oh, it's good. It's great. It's a classic. And number one. That made more than forgetting Sarah Marshall. That's a crime.

I'm sorry. Adjusted for inflation, dude. Came out a couple years later. I don't know if that makes any sense. And number one is, of course, Frozen. Sean's got three points. I feel no shame. Reindeers are better than people.

I have watched that goddamn movie about 700 fucking times. It's really good. It's actually excellent. Which one? Frozen. Oh, yeah. It's a good movie.

Oh, it's enjoyable. Yeah. And they finally figured out, how can we double our money on this? Two princesses. Two princesses. Yeah, and a funny snowman. And lots of action sequences for the boys.

The snowman is... They know what they're doing. I just... You don't like Olaf? There's nothing about Olaf I like. I love him. No. I love him because he just shows up

because they created him, but he's just sort of like always... Yeah, but he just fucking shows up. There's no reason he's there. You know, we see her build the ice castle, but she doesn't go, oh yeah, the snowman would be great. There's never a moment where

you see that. No, she makes him. When she's making the castle, she remakes him. No, she doesn't. I just saw it. castle, she remakes him. No, she doesn't. I just saw it. I was just babysitting some children I don't know. Am I wrong? Am I crazy?

She goes like, oh, go do it. When she's making the castle, she's like, don't forget Olaf. And he's like, here I am. Oh, fuck it.

Yeah, when she's singing Let It Go, she makes Olaf again. But then even she, when Olaf shows up, she's like, what the fuck? Can't hold it back anymore. Let it go. Let it go. Turn away and slam the door.

Yeah, you wanted to slam the door on Olaf. But that bitch came back. I like, he's only to me, he's like, he just adds such weird little notes to everything. Like when he's like, I don't have a skull or bones. It's like, shut up, Olaf. We know what you are. Ian Kinney is our Olaf right now.

What? Why? But the guy who... I'm sorry. You're right. But the guy who plays the head of the, what do you call them? The trolls. Top troll? Yeah. He's a great actor himself. He was in like

the TV series, what's the one with... Oh yeah, that one. Fraggle Rock? No. No one cares about this piece of trivia. Okay. He was Caesar in Rome. Rome with HBO, he was Caesar.

Okay. He was in Cracker, the original English version. Oh, this is a great game. What other obscure shit was he in? He was a horrifying pervert who killed children. And now he's the head troll who says, you know what? The best thing for your child is

to fuck up her mind utterly. And to erase all goodness. He says, we're going to erase the magic, but we'll leave the fun. And then the girl is tortured because she's trying to get the fun again. She's always knocking on that door saying let's build a snowman.

And that bitch on the other side is like I can't even come out and talk to you. It makes no sense. How do people deliver food to her without freezing to death? Right. I don't even fucking know. Right when she's signing for the tip,

she probably murders them. Yeah. I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of Frozen bullshit. I hope that you get the call to play Olaf when they do Frozen on Broadway and that you turn it down because it's such a bullshit character.

You know what? I'll get the call. I'll get the call. I'll get the audition. I'll get to number two. And then they'll say, no, you're a bit shit. And then they'll fucking refuse me. And I'll become so angry, I'll kill everybody in this room.

In this room? Yeah. I'll hunt every one of them down. It'll be totally weird. People will say, what's the link? What's the link? Why are all these people dying? It'll be like

a fucking HBO special. People will say, what? I hope the box office is just burning the list of credit card sales for the show. It's their ocean. It's like, we've got to get rid of it. They never believed this would happen. We've got a documentary from Sean Cullen!

They never believed that would happen and that's my greatest weapon. Sean? Yes? You get to go first to this next round. Okay. weapon Sean yes you get to go first to this next round okay name one of the top three films from miss Mila Kunis oh damn some guy said damn I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with... Then Rob goes next.

Don't say answers in the audience. Okay. I'm gonna say... Which one are you gonna go with? Shit, I would never go... Anyway. God, I can't remember the exact name of the film. Husband of Justin Timberlake. I know.

How? No, wait. No, wait. Ashton Kutcher. Ashton Kutcher. They met on that 70s show, and she was 12, and he was 18, and they never had any sexual feelings for each other until they were older and but she's still cool with the fact that they met when she was 12.

she wasn't 12 15 14 17. like she lied about how old she was to get on that 70s show i heard her on howard stern recently Okay, go ahead there, Sean. I've stalled long enough for you. That's all I know about Mila Kunis. My God, I know the film, and it's driving me crazy. It's got Kevin Spacey in it, and... Should we come back to you? Really? Could that happen?

Well, somebody else might take that movie, but... Uh... I'm going to do something to move this along. People aren't tuning in to hear... Are they not? Let me make it entertaining. American... All right, you're out. I'm not out. I'll pick another movie then. I'm going to go with Black Swan.

Okay. All right, let's go with Black Swan. Rob? Wrong. Okay. All right, he's going black swan. Rob? Wrong. Yeah. It's unfortunate, there's, I mean,

another comedy that I want to go with, but Friends with Benefits probably made more money than that,

so I'll go with Friends with Benefits. Okay. I know, it sucks. Ian? Well,

I'm going to go with a little-known film called Forgetting Sarah Marshall. That was the other one, but I feel like I didn't make any money. Is everyone in this thing in that movie? It was number three for Kristen Bell. But no, Mila Kunis' number one is Oz the Great and Powerful. Jesus, that's so weird.

She had a terrible agent. And that was an almost... Her number two is a very little seen movie. Like, her movies aren't that big. No one saw Ted. Holy shit. Yeah, good point. All right, relax, lady with her hands in the air.

That's a cross you want to die on is 10? Relax. The cross you want to die on. You didn't know 10? Everyone here is smarter than you, Rob. That's not true. And number three, Black Swan. So now Sean has four points, and Ian has one,

and Rob is the less we say about that, the better. Sure. I wanted to win so bad. Real quickly, though, Sean, remember the theme song for Black Swan was awesome. Can you sing it for us? Everybody loves to dance ballet, but when a lesbian wants to play Do you want to touch her

Or would you rather stab her With a piece of mirror Ranted, it was the end theme because they didn't want to spoil the dance brothers in the opening credits. It was in the credits. Yeah. It was in the credits.

They did that, yeah. Yeah, for sure. All right, so that means Sean is the winner of that game. Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ. Thank you, Lord Jesus Christ. I don't know why you're dragging that. It's all about...

Well, you know what? I give him credit for everything. That's nice. Thank you. That cookie fell on the floor. Have you ever... Yeah, I threw it there. Yeah. Why would it not be...

Why would it be anywhere but where I threw it? I'm so angry at you. For throwing down that cookie? Well, you really... It got a good laugh. You disgraced the people who made it. I'm not going to eat that cookie. You really made...

Even if it had weed in it, I'm not going to eat it. God damn it. You are a fool. Because that's one of the greatest cookies that people have ever really made it. Even if it had weed in it, I'm not going to eat it. God damn it. You are a fool. Because that's one of the greatest cookies that people have ever brought to you. Do you think when they set out to make that cookie, they just made the one? Or do you think there's about 40 other ones

just like it? Yeah. There's a whole pink box full of them. I'll throw every goddamn one of them on the floor. Oh! You would lose your audience. But people in the audience wanted to try this. Yeah!

Oh! Oh! Whoa! Whoa! There's nothing like a cookie toss. There's nothing like a cookie toss. Everyone has a lot of fun at a cookie toss. There's nothing like a cookie toss.

There's nothing like a cookie toss. There's nothing like a cookie toss. Throw the cookies to the people. There's nothing like a cookie toss. I'm going to throw them over this guy now. Oh, what a great time.

Everybody had a great time. It was like an Amish barn building. I'm not getting enough credit for putting these into the hands of people that want them I always do this because I'm better at throwing than people would imagine you know what that stoner nerd can't throw

you're chasing a ghost and that ghost is Michael Jordan. Nobody could throw anything better than him. That guy threw a lot of cookies. Oh, you dropped it, man. Not me. Oh, there's donuts too? God damn it.

Sean's just stepping on his sign. I get messages from listeners all the time. Stop with the goddamn donut throwing. It's boring to listen to, but it sure is fun to do. Oh my God, those look delightful. Who wants a cookie though? One more cookie.

Oh, these donuts are way too decorative. They're really nice donuts. Where is the beautiful? It's Tim Hortons. I have to go to the bathroom. I really have to go to the bathroom. While Sean Cullen goes in the bathroom, I'll throw some donuts.

I'll distribute some donuts. This can't be bad for you, the one where Tim Hortons is written on the donut. There's no preservatives in that. Who wants this one? You didn't get a cookie? Steve's right! Okay.

Yeah, can I throw a donut? Yeah, you can. Yeah, I can. Oh man, I gotta throw a donut. Yeah, you can. Yeah, I can. Oh, man, I got to throw a donut. Oh, it's Joey filled. Oh, the person I aimed for missed it. That's not good. Ian just chucked it into the crowd.

What about, hang on, hang on, Rob. Hang on, Rob. Somebody, who's got a big sign that didn't get picked? Hold up a big one for us. Someone with a light up sign. Give me something lit up in the back. Oh, there's one. Put that one down, because that's not close. That's not far enough. Put the far one down.

Keep it up. Why are you putting it down? Finally, I get to be a jock on this show. That was fun. All right, no more donuts. That's it. I'm going to have another 100 grand, though. Well, this is a little-known fact. People that listen to the show don't know this, and now you guys know it because you're here,

but often the donut throwing is just so that one of my guests can run and take a shit. You know what? I shot a donut. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Thank you, everyone. We're going to play to two points. Sean gets to go first. We'll switch the order around, so it goes Sean, Ian, Rob.

This seems weird. It's okay. It's a reversal. You'll be all right. You can handle it. I don't know. Here's the couple of rules you need to know. And if you don't know the game, basically here's how it works.

I'm going to get the name of an actor or an actress. We're all going to take turns. I'll play along naming movies that that person has been in. If you can't think of one, you're out. But each round, you get a lifeline, one lifeline, and it's the person whose name tag you chose. Oh, great. Danny, do not blow this shit for me.

I picked a guy with the most recent fucking obvious movie possible. God. Yeah, but his name, dead Paul, you never know. He might know some answers. Sorry, Paul. For Ian, it's Cat. And for Sean, it's, what's the name? Danny.

A girl named Danny. Dirty Danny. Dirty Danny. Oh, wow. I mean, you know, what's the name? Danny. A girl named Danny. Dirty Danny. Dirty Danny. Oh, wow. I mean, you know, everybody in Buffalo has a nickname.

I had the time of my life and never felt this way before. But I swear

it's a dream Goddamn true. I want it all to you I've been a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a man a And I'm gonna date what you're gonna see Don't remember You're the one thing I can't give you different I'm sorry. I'm sorry that happened.

For anyone who didn't, yay. I'm sorry that happened. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that happened. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that happened. I'm trying to say something. Listen, I apologize. That's my job as a Canadian. Quit it.

To apologize for all things that have fucking gone wrong. For those that didn't notice, that last game, all of the actresses are from a current movie that's number three at the box office called Bad Moms. That was the theme of that game. That's shit. I wish I knew. But shit's about to change.

Two girls love it. Shit's about to change. First person to two points. You got to win twice to win this game. points. You gotta win twice to win this game. And in the first round, if you're the first to drop out, you get to pick the name of the person we play in the next round. This is fucking me up! It can be very, very strategic. Where is someone on Twitter? Lots of you wrote to me today.

Thank you for all of you writing to me, but only one can be chosen. Where is Savage Cat? Oh, nice. Right? This happens very often. You pick the name tag of a person who I chose in advance

to be the person to provide the name. And she loved Bad Moms. I also think that there was a movie called Savage Cat, and I would like Sean to sing the theme song now. Savage Cat They come

from the darkness And they eat you Savage Cat You don't know where from the darkness and they eat you savage cat you don't know where they come from but they kill still come savage cat

they're licking themselves in the genitals savage cats don't try to suckle at the teats in the genitals of each cat. Don't try to suckle at the teats if you're not one of the kittens. I didn't like that, Ian. Yeah.

Wow. That's just a good moral You know it's just a great You can't suck up a tit unless you're one of the cats It's a great You gotta be a kitten to suck on a cat tit It's a great lesson You're a real Bob Dylan Well sometimes

You wanna find a savage cat Didn't Bob Dylan do a cover Of Savage Cat Savage cats. When you come beneath them, they don't understand. Savage cats. What do you think they do when they're lonely? Savage cats.

They understand the difference between uncles. Savage cats. That was Savage Cats. There it is, yeah. Yeah. You know what I love about you right now, Bob? Who's Bob? I don't know.

What I love about you right now is that you write everything down longhand. Well, how? You write everything down. You've got, you don't go to the, like, electronic thing. You've got a piece of paper and a weird pen. And you write it all out.

It's like people compare it to our Crumb's brother. Has scribblings like this that are very intricate and complicated. But I know what's on here. I guess so. You're like the Nostradamus of our time. I think you pronounced it wrong. I'm Nostradumass. And I'm Rob.

I don't know who he was talking to earlier, but Sorry, everyone. Sean gets a couple of donuts in his hands and he ends up fucking them. Where do you think all those donut holes come from? Somebody has to fuck the middle

out of a donut. Don't bring me the jellies. Alright, you managed to gross out Buffalo. That's impossible! All right, so Savage Cat, what do you got for us? Helena Bonham Carter. Helena Bonham Carter? She's not Helena.

God damn it. Helena. Helena. Helena Bonham Carter. God damn it. Helena. Helena. Helena Bonham Carter. God damn it. You know, she's a granddaughter of Winston Churchill. Did you know that? You already gave us a clue.

All right. So, quiet cat, you savage. Meow. You started us off, Sean. Yes. Yeah, name any movie that's got Helena Bonham Carter in it. The King's Speech. The King's Speech, yes.

Best picture winner. Ian? I will go Fight Club. Oh, yes. Winner of nothing. But classic movie. Stop. Big Fish? Yeah, sure. Sure. but classic movie stop big fish yeah sure sure you said it like you're guessing yep and i'm gonna go along with it tim burton uh yeah tim burton uh so i'll say uh alice in wonderland Then I'll go Alice through the looking glass

Yes The current one I will go the Lone Ranger Ooh Good one Rob Ah shit Right? You can use your lifeline

Uh She was in all shit I don't know if I feel like I should use Dead Paul yet You can use your lifeline. She was in all shit. I don't know if I feel like I should use dead Paul yet. Well, you know, how deep can dead Paul go? How deep is dead Paul? How deep is dead Paul? I really need to know.

I'm going to save dead Paul. Dead Paul, what do you got? Hell in a bottom carter. No, I'm going to save him. I'm going to save Dead Paul. Dead Paul, what do you got? Hell in a Bottom Carter. No, I'm going to save him. I'm not going to use him yet. Or am I just done forever if I don't use him? Jesus. You can't come up with an answer. Alright, Dead Paul. What? Fight Club.

We already said Fight Club. Come on. Rob, your instincts were right about Deadpool. I know. You picked the wrong person. He has the best candy bars. He's all about candy bars.

He really knows his shit when it comes to candy bars. Do you want to try again? I've already eaten four of them. Okay, full title. Quit yelling at me. Shut up! You already yelled the wrong answer! It's not fair,

because I think somebody else yelled it out, so I'll say Sweeney Todd. Right, but what's the full title? Oh, fuck. Sweeney Todd, the butcher, that's not great to hang out with. You're out! Not cool.

But I'm going to say... That was two answers from that fucking asshole, Deadpool. It's my turn, Sean. And I won't, you know, I'm not going to make you feel stupid or anything, but I'll say Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Oh, you nailed that. Sean?

Franken-weenie? Mm-hmm. I'm going to go Corpse Bride. Nice. Very good. I'm going to say... There's no other Nice. Very good. I'm going to say... There's no other meandery bullshit on the end of that title? It's just Corpse Bride?

The Corpse Bride just searched for some fucking horse shit. It doesn't do anything else? It's just Corpse Bride? Just straight up Corpse Bride. I fucking hate him so much. I fucking hate him. I'd fist fight Tim Burton if he was here tonight. Swear to God I would. You tell him that. I fucking hate him. I'd fist fight Tim Burton if he was here tonight. Swear to God, I would.

You tell him that. Tweet at him. All right. Just in interest of moving this along, I'm out. Really? Yeah, go, Sean. Shit. What you've done is reprehensible.

Use your microphone voice. What you've done is reprehensible. Use your microphone voice. What you've done is reprehensible. Why? I'm not even playing for anybody. I know, but you shouldn't even be in the game in the first place, and you took two answers out of our realm, and I make angry faces at you.

Because you don't have any other ones? I'm thinking. You got another one. What about that one that she was in? Good thinking. Good one. Um... Did I say that she was the granddaughter of Winston Churchill?

Did I say that? Was? I think she still is. Yeah, but they disowned her. Oh, no. Brexit. Brexit. God, it's so difficult.

No shame in tapping out. No, I'm going to... How long do I have? Go to your lifeline. Do I? Danny. Danny? Danny? Danny! Danny is traveling tonight

on a plane. I can see the red tail. I don't want to hear it. Head in the space. Okay. Tell me. Hamlet. Ham tell me Hamlet Hamlet You know, a lot of people in Hamlet

I'll go with it You're going to hear from it a million times When people write to the corrections department She's in it We've got confirmation from a guy in Buffalo I've got another one now. The foremost authority on movies of Shakespeare

says she's in it. Thank you, Danny. Ian's turn. Thank you. I hope I don't fuck this up, but I'm pretty sure she's in Harry Potter and the Dudley Hallows

part one. Yes. Good work, Ian. Thanks, man. Nice one, Ian. Those Harry Potter titles are tough to get right. That's why I tapped out. Can you think of another one, Sean?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part Two. Oh. Ian? Fuck. This guy in the audience, is that a real movie? Yeah, like they did with Hunger Games

and, you know, everything that's successfully turned the last book into two movies. You bet, 1750 it is. Yeah. I don't know

the other Harry Potters, so I'm going to go to Cat. Okay, Cat, what do you got? Big Fish. We said Big Fish. Come on, Cat. This is the shittiest lifelines of all time. Everyone hates you. Your failure is Otter

Her backup answer was Mark Ruffalo. What does that even mean? No one knows. It's a documentary on Mark Ruffalo that she appears in. She gave a handjob to Mark Ruffalo. Ian's going to try to guess. I said a Harry to guess Shut up!

Shut up! You can't just keep saying movies We'll go to you once, your answer was wrong Moving on Did Tim Burton make a Cinderella movie? Because that'd be fucked up Why? You heard that

Because he fucks up everything? Yeah A little bit, because it's never about the story. It's always about Tim Burton. He brings the shoe, but the shoe's a beating heart that has fucking scissors for a hand. He stinks. He's the worst.

He doesn't just make everyone have scissors for hands. Every one of his movies. It happened once. Every movie would be better if everyone had scissors for hands. Just like every movie would be better if there were Transformers in them.

That's true. All of that is absolutely untrue. I haven't seen a good movie with Transformers in them. Hey, listen. Hey, hey, hey. we gotta wrap this up. Who is it? Ian.

Oh, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Yeah. You did it. I'm gonna write HP in the V. Sean. I'm gonna say Titus. What? Titus. What? Titus.

The Titus Andronicus movie? Yes. She was in it? Yes. Can we get a confirmation from that one guy? Not the TV show with Christopher Titus? The movie was called Titus. You're right.

The movie was called Titus. There was also a TV show called Titus. Yeah. Starring Christopher Titus as himself. And Sandy Beach as his dad. Yeah. What else you got, Ian? Um, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?

Nah. What? Why wouldn't she be in that? Too early. Too early for her character? Alright, Sean wins that round. Brilliant! But we're playing to Go to the bathroom you bearded goth That's a weird thing to say You should go to the bathroom

Alright I can't stress enough How we need to get through this game I'm so sorry Let's just focus on the game. I'm just trying to be entertaining. No more songs. No more comments. Just play the game.

No more songs. No more comments. Let's just get through the game. The game. The game. What's the theme song for Harry Potter and the V? HP and the V. And the V?

Harry Potter once understood that the V was wrong, so he got his wand and he shot a bolt of fiery lightning into the face of Christ. Christ! Wow! You hurt me! All right, so. So Rob was the first one out in the last round,

so he gets to go first in this round. And he also gets to just pick any actor or actress for us to play in this game. So this is a great strategy point for you. You can pick somebody whose work you know you know, but we might not. Who have you got? Ryan Reynolds.

Okay. Canadian. Yeah. From Vancouver. That's in Canada. No. All right, so start us off there, Rob. Name a Ryan Reynolds movie

Oh, I have to start? Oh, Deadpool We'll go with Deadpool You get to start Yeah, yeah Deadpool is the obvious answer All right Ian?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder Nice, full title Also known as National Anthem with Bert Kreischer. Green Lantern. Green Lantern. There's no reason to insult the guy.

I'll go with definitely maybe. One lady in the back or a weird dude. Is that with Sandra Bullock? That's that movie. Is that Sandra Bullock? Nope. But thanks for giving everybody a clue.

They won't ever have watched that movie. I have, and I'll say it when it gets to me. Rob? Safe house. Mm-hmm. Nobody's safe. Nobody Safe house. Mm-hmm, nobody's safe, nobody is house. I'll go with Waden. All right.

I'll watch the shit out of that movie when it's on cable. Sean? Wolverine Origins. Wolverine Origins. Very good. That's when he played Deadpool but was unhappy. Because they took away Deadpool's mouth, which is the part of his character.

Oh, we've got a wrong title argument in the crowd. What do you think the correct title is, Sean? Shh. Uh-oh. You can't sing it now, can you, Sean? I think the correct title is Sean. Shh. Uh-oh. You can't sing it now, can you, Sean? Fuck you, a-hole. Okay, so Sean's out. I'm waiting for the real title.

What do you mean you're waiting for it? It's up to you to say it. That's what he's saying. You know how games work, right? You're not sitting there on a match game waiting for someone else to call you. But if a challenge happens, someone has to fucking put up or shut up. Don't yet.

All we know is you're wrong. Okay. Well then, I'm gonna... Do you want to use your lifeline? Okay're wrong. Okay, well then I'm going to... Do you want to use your lifeline? Okay, Danny. Danny, can you help give us the correct title? Movie, was that called? What of?

Can I trade it? You could do another movie, sure. Blade Trinity. Blade Trinity, I like that. God damn it. Thank you, Danny. You're the bitches. Mitches.

Fuck you, guy. Fuck you. You have nothing. Which way were we going? Who's next? Am I next? Okay, I'm next. I'll go with the Switch.

The Switch. Wolverine X-Men Origins. Yes! What? X-Men Origins Wolverine? That's not fair. Yeah, okay. That's fine.

Wait a minute. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. He got it wrong, but then everyone said, oh, no, Wait a minute. Yeah, okay. Yeah, okay. You got it wrong, but then everyone said, oh, no, wait a minute. Okay, yeah, whatever. Have another go. You don't have to go to your people.

You can just say it again. And everyone says, yeah, that's great. Good for you. I wish I had people like that on my side. All right. I'm going to go with buried. Buried, yes. Good job.

Thanks, Doug. You're welcome. You're welcome. Sean. I just hate everybody now. Wait, what do you mean he's not? No, he came back. Oh, he got another thing.

Yeah, yeah, he got. Oh, I got a thing? Yeah. I didn't get to rephrase my answer and then get it accepted? Is that what happened? Maybe it was. We got to be out of here by midnight.

Two guys, a girl, and a pizza place. It's a TV show. I know, fuck off! I have more points than everybody. I hope they make it into a movie, but it's just a TV show. It would be amazing. Yeah.

But what else you got? Anything? You'll still be alive for the next round. Of course! I'll be alive after this show happens! I'm not worried about you killing me. What's making that noise? I think we might have destroyed the speaker.

Yeah, stop yelling into your microphone. Shut up! It's not the microphone. I thought somebody had bubble wrap. I'm a professional. Do you understand? Is it my turn? Yeah, just jump in there, you little monkey eye.

The voices. Ted. What? Ted. He's got a cameo in Ted? Yeah, with the guy from Sunset. I believe you. I totally believe you.

Oh, great. You totally believe him. A million. It's great. Yeah, for sure. Oh, great. You totally believe, man. A million ways to die in the West. That sounds like a movie Ryan Reynolds would do a cameo in. Of course.

How about Ian? Has he got another one? I'll hear about it later if it's wrong. Oh, yeah, you sure will. Ian. A million ways to die in the West. Wow, does he cameo in every movie? No, fuck off. He's friends with the family.

Fuck off. How about The Bridge? It's not your turn, you're out. The Bridge Too Far. You're out. Was he in that? No, you're out anyway. How about DJ?

You're out, stop guessing. How about that? How about... Stop guessing and also... How about Ben-Hur? Is he in that? There's a thousand actors in that. Is he in that?

How about It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World? How about that? Is he in The Old General? Is he in that? First of all, somebody yelled full title because you said one less mad than the actual title. But also... All of you assholes!

All of you! Mr. Goodbar. But Sean, you've got to notice that when you yell into your microphone, there's a snapping sound. Shut up! I'm yelling right now! Stop doing that.

I'm sorry, I'm going to stop now. Just talk normal. I'm going to stop. Your microphone is causing I'm sorry. I'm going to stop now. Just talk normal. I'm going to stop. Your microphone is causing a snapping sound. I'm going to talk normal now. Listen, I was talking normal now, and it's still snapping. Yeah, so you might want to stop talking all the way through. Listen.

Whose turn is it? Me, I'm out. What do you got? The Amityville Horror. Yes! The Nines. The Nines, I'm going to go with whatever. It's true.

It's a movie. It's true. National Lampoon's Van Wilder 2. We already said it was the first movie. The Legend of Raj. He shows up in it? Cameo. All right.

Yeah, no, I was just trying. You know what he does cameo in? Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. I'm with Ian. Alright, so we're saying Ian took that round down? Yeah. Good job, Ian. Ian, you nailed it. Now, Sean, since you crapped out first...

That's never going to happen again. Especially because you get to pick any actor or actress for this next round. Anybody. You could pick somebody none of us have ever heard of. You could say Sean Cohen.

And I'm ready to take it on. Klaus Maria Brandauer. That's a great one, because I really need to wrap this up. You get to go first. You have to... It's helpful if you have at least one. Mephisto.

Mephisto, okay. No one's arguing with that. Ian? Oh yeah, I'm going to go to Cat, my lifeline. Cat, do you know any Klaus Maria Brandauer movies? She's got nothing. Anything, Ian?

I'll take a guess. Was she in Ocean 13? Was she? You think Klaus is a she? I literally did. I won't even deny that. I'm going to add the snapping coming out of the speaker as a shithead at the end of the show. Rob?

Farce of the penguins. I don't know, why? You're just saying that, right? Yeah, for sure, 100%. All right, I can't think. I mean, that's a name I've always heard. It's kind of a fun name to say. Shh.

Do you want to use your lifeline? I mean, let's see if Paul has one. What? Clue. The movie Clue. Was he or she in the movie Clue? He said no clue. And I took that as Clue.

The movie Clue only has like six characters in it. And one of them is Maria von Klosenstein. No. Whatever. only has like six characters in it. And one of them is Maria von Klosenstein, whatever. No. Whatever. He's not Martin Mull or Michael McKeon or Tim Curry. I'm sorry. You sure it's not Tim Curry?

Nancy Walker was in that one. So Sean gets the point for that round. That means he's our winner tonight. Yay! I have another movie by Klaus Maria Brandauer. Just an alien home. Danny, come get your prizes. Danny, come get your prizes. The Weird James Bond Movie.

Thank you. Thank you, Danny. Oh, was he in Never Say Never Again? Yes, he was. He was the villain in Never Say Never Again. Congratulations, Danny.

She wants hugs from everybody. Maria Brandauer. Danny, she won the prizes. Danny, she got what she wanted tonight. Danny,

she won the prizes. Sean Cullen, what do you got to plug? I have my own podcast It's not as good as this But it's still fascinating It's called The Sean Pod Go on the iTunes situation And find it

And subscribe for free It's great And I'm nobody's mother But I still give people's babies A chance to suckle my teats. Ian, what's coming up, buddy? Where can people come see you? If anybody is going to be local this weekend, I'm hosting a big charity event down in Niagara Falls at High Park.

It's for Roswell Park. So, yeah, that's going all day. It's open to the public. We're going to have games, food, music, all types of stuff. What kind of games? What type of games? Sean, I'm wrapping this up. And there's a fucking

annoying snapping sound coming out of the speaker. What kind of games? I don't know if the listeners are hearing the snapping sound, but if they are, I want the show to be over. Rob, what are your plugs? Rob loves arguing on Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and whatever. Send me some dick pics. Whatever.

One more time for all of my guests, Sean Cullen, Ian Kinney, and Rob Malou. Oh. Is it snapping? No, you're fine.

It's not snapping anymore. Oh, it is. So stop talking. Stop talking. The next Los Angeles Douglas movies is on August 11th at Meltdown Comics. And as always, anyone who doesn't see the movie Killer Rack

when it comes out on DVD, VOD this December is a shithead. And people who say moist and Putin are a shithead. Watch another Bucky Eyes of Gold and Huey Crow is basic Bucky There's no room in our core You could love us Boobies!