Doug Loves Movies - Sean Jordan Vs. Rosemont

Episode Date: October 24, 2012

Comedian Sean Jordan plays the Leonard Maltin Game against audience members at Zanies in Rosemont, IL.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, my name is You Know What, and this is You Know Who Loves You Know What, coming to you from my home in Southern California, California, on Monday, October 22nd, 2 Oceans 12. If you have the Chiller Network, I don't, but some people have it, I'm told, be sure to watch future guest Paul Michael Stevenson's The American Scream, a great documentary about home hauntings, you know, when people set up a haunted house in their home for trick-or-treaters on halloween that airs sunday night october 28th it's also popping up at various theaters across the country so look out for it since last i spoke and you listened i flew home

from chicago and saw two movies on the plane this means war which i had never seen and did not care for and rock of ages which i had seen and didn't care for once again. Yeah, I watched it again to make sure that I didn't care for it. Lots of talented people involved in both movies. Better luck next time! Sunday night I did a stand-up show at Zany's in Rosemont, Illinois, O'Hare adjacent, where I discussed Taken 2 at length without having seen it yet.

And at the end of the show, we played the now-mandatory Leonard Maltin game with my opening act, Sean Jordan, taking on all comers. Well, at least two or three comers. Comers is an awkward word. I successfully recorded it in its entirety, and will share it with you in a moment. But first, I'd like to let you know that a new ep of Dining with Doug and Karen is available on iTunes with guest comedian Jonah Ray. Try it! You'll like it! And now, Sean Jordan vs. Rosemont, Illinois, home of many hotels and a Keith. I love this fucking place or whatever it's called.

Enjoy. Does anyone hunger for games? All right, Sean Jordan, please pick a name tag from the crowd. This is not a name tag. It's different than a name tag. That's how, like, diorama-looking thing, the lit-up thing, the thing that's moving

doesn't look like it's attached to anything. It's scaring the shit out of me. It still looks like it's not attached to anything. It's got a crystal skull vodka shots on it. All right, how does he get up here? You've got to come over here this way. I got a warm-up.

Come over this way. Jesus, this guy is... You kidding? Stand next to Sean over there. Indiana Matt? Indiana Matt? I did say wear a costume, but I thought that the name tag in the costume, I didn't know you'd do two separate things. I had to mix and match because I didn't have an Indiana Jones costume, but I had Crystal Skull vodka shots for you. In the tradition of the guy that brought whiskey pocket shots in a previous...

These are for us to have? Drink this bag of drink. Alright. How do you get it off of there? Oh there you go I'm just standing here getting manhandled by you two You're the fucking licker I did put lice behind him to get a 10 Uh huh well you did

Yeah you lit him up They're little vodka skulls You know what you're doing That's fucking sweet. I'm going to chill on it now. I think the McDonald's in my stomach is really doing what I thought it was going to do. It's not really meshing too well with what appears to be a lot of vodka. A lot of warm vodka.

I was already drinking vodka. All right, well, I'll take it. I'll just pour more into it. Here, you want to take a little shot? I just pour some in my drink. Oh, alright. Because I'm drinking vodka. As it turns out. But you can shoot it a little bit if you want.

Alright. Go, Sean, go! Chug, chug, chug! It's kind of a weird thing to drink your fast. Oh my god! It's a lot, dude. I think it's like two shots. That's like I just walked through the fucking perfume section at JCPenney

and had a conversation while I was in there. My friends better be taking a fucking picture of me right now. Otherwise you're not going to be his friends that much longer. Okay, so you're... you're bald all the time, or for this costume? All the time. Okay. And then... Very confusing. Yeah, but people don't say to you, you look like Dr. Evil, do they?

Eh, it's kind of a lame nickname that everybody... Jerks. That or powder. I think that's kind of a lame nickname that everybody knows you. Shjurts. That or powder. Which I say, yeah, very relevant. Thank you. I think you look a lot more like Morgan Freeman than either one of those. That's how I'll go with it. Just tell them that next time.

You know, I get Morgan Freeman a lot, but I don't know. Never heard of powder. Tell them to lie to people with their fountains. Well, but the Dr. Evil costume does bring out the blue in your face. It does make you look a little powdery. But that's awesome. He wore a Dr. Evil costume and brought an Indiana Matt name tag. So he really stepped up. I think he deserves to be up here. And if we lose this against Sean in one round of the Lettermon game, then we will bring somebody else up here.

And we'll do that until the crack of dawn. You're fucking dead, dude. I do love this game, but lately I've been stumped. And you're not even... you're just listening to it on the podcast. It's a lot harder when you're standing up in front of whatever this is behind us. I think it was the rough sketch of Tron, it looks like. Yes! This is the back wall of the new Zanies and Rosemont is the making of Tron. It's a DVD extra.

There's an old video game too, like Blade Runner or something, or something runner, but it looks like that. There's nothing funny about that, but it looks like that. I didn't know Doug was in Blade Runner. I was in Blade Runner. You know too much about me. Way too much, thank you. Alright. He sits on his left side. Let's... All right, this is just between Matt and Sean. Matt gets to pick a category.

Would you like paranormal blacktivity? Best movies that have a black ghost in them. Sorry, African-American ghosts. Also celebrating her birthday today is the great Carrie Fisher. It's her birthday, so the films of Carrie Fisher.

Or, at Brittany Hagen, suggested on Twitter, buy a fucking tripod. And that's found footage of me. She's very angry about that. Which one of those would you like to play? Which category? Black ghosts.

I mean, African American. You said it, ladies. Black people ghosts. Yes. Black people ghosts Black people ghosts There's no black animal ghosts These are all black people ghosts

And you get to pick the year I thought of two more of them I've been doing this category for a little while now And two more Options came up. Would you like 1996 or 1997? People in the audience are excited about 7. I don't think they realize they're not playing.

97. 97, okay. One and a half stars to Leonard Baldwin for this movie from 1997. One and a half stars to Leonard Baldwin for this movie from 1997. He says about it that it is a cloying fantasy. And he also says that the lead actor in this movie mugs outrageously. Comma, but he had to do something. And he was the lead actor.

He had to do something. And he lists six names, just six names. How many names did you get in that? Four names. I like the way you play. Yeah, me too. I'm torn. Look at me. make eye contact.

No. Make eye contact. Your first pitch should have been one million names, though. Because you do have an Indiana Jones name tag. Oh, that was rich. Three names. It's not coming. Zero names.

Oh. He was just playing with you with the four-game chip! The puppet master. Well, name it then, dude. Alright. Do you want the clues again, or are you... Yes, dude. Alright. Do you want the clues again? Yes, please. So you said zero names, but you're not positive? No, I'm

completely regretting this decision. You could have gone for a few names. One of the Outstars, 1997. Chloé in fantasy. The lead actor mugs outrageously. But he had to do something

zero names what's it called? Ghost Dan? as guesses go it's not a bad one it's just an incorrect one it's not bad either the names if I had said them are Gary Jones, David Pamer, Michael Michelle, Kevin Dunn,

Kadeem Hardison, and Marlon Wayans. Sixth man. And there's four people in the audience doing it. Thank you so much for playing, Matt. All right. the audience doing. Thank you so much for playing, Matt. Remember when you did that? Yeah, that wasn't about being an asshole. That made sense. There was a reason for that.

Alright, pick another one. Pick another Matt movie. Huh? Don't tell me what to do. Is that Swayze that I'm looking at? Travolta! Alright, we'll pick Travolta. Go for your Travolta. I thought it was Swayze, but since I already started talking about it...

Can you make it Swayze before you get up here? It's Travolta from, I'm guessing, yeah, it's from the, uh, what was that called? Dance Fever? It's Flashdance. Stayin' Alive, yeah. Oh, shit. Don't even know what movie it's from. This guy's gonna be terrible at the game. He thinks John Travolta was in Flashdance. But your name is Travis.

Travis. Travis Olta. Olta. Trav. Olta. Olta. Trav. Olta. Just in case. I suck at writing, yeah? No, no. Go ahead and sit down.

Let's get another... No, that's cool, Travis. You did a good job. You got picked. That's the important thing. When you were preparing that, you were probably like, I hope Doug brings a comedian who has a fondness for Patrick Swayze, but doesn't know what he looks like.

It was from a ways away. I know, Swayze did look like that in a lot of his movies. They were both often sweaty, so... And flashed him? They flashed him as most of the time, both of them. Alright, here's the, mostly, yes. Close enough. All right, you get to pick a category, Travis. Would you like the King of Pancakes category? That's the number one movie at the North American box office

ten years ago to this very day. Ten years ago in October of 2002. Or, quite the opposite, In Theaters Now. That's movies that are in theaters now. Or, your third choice, people love this category, Keeping Up With The Kardashians. That's movies that have

three or more monsters in them. At K-O-S-P-O-W-I-N-C. Cause Pow Inc. suggested that. Now, 10 years ago, or Monsters? I think I'm going to go with now. I think... People are disappointed. Let's do it. Let's do it.

Did everybody hear that? Fuck them. That was funny it. Did everybody hear that? Fuck them. That's what he's had to say about that. This movie's in theaters now, Travis. And Leonard Mullen says, it's the best I've seen all year. Yeah, he goes crazy for this one. So if you read his reviews,

you might already know the answer. And it also says that this movie is proof that Hollywood can still make a crowd-pleasing movie that's smart, funny, and relevant all at once. And then he lists... For them. And then he lists... 17 names. Jesus Christ.

That better not be one of them. How many? Yeah, Jesus Christ is not one of them. Okay, uh, ten names. Let's go. This is ten names, Sean. I'm gonna start high. You're gonna start high? That's how I like to do it. I'll make eye contact. I'll make two eye contacts.

Eight names. Six names. Fuck you. Five names. Three names. Come on, dude. All right, David. Is this really happening?

All right, dude, you get three names. They are Taylor Schilling, Michael Parks, and Chris Messina. I don't know who any of those people are. That's sort of how this game works. So now you just have to name a movie that's in theaters now that fits the description. Can I get the description one more time? Sure. Thank you so much. He says it's the best movie I've seen all year, and he also says that it's proof that Hollywood

can still make a crowd-pleasing movie that's smart, funny, and relevant all at once. And it is called... Taken 2. That's a great face. Sit the fuck down! Is it Argo? Yeah, it's Argo. Of course it's Argo.

I didn't, the funny thing threw me off a little bit. I didn't, I mean... This is the first time in the history of doing this that people just leave their name tags on the stage when they're done, like, I don't fucking need that anymore. I don't want people to see me walk around with a John Travolta and a sweaty sweatband poster. Alright dude, pick somebody else. We gotta finish, we gotta do this you guys. Only people that are really good at the game. Doug loves guilty pleasures. There you go.

What is that? At least clap or something, right? Stand over there. What's your name, though? Charlie? It's going to be Charlie right now. Charlie's getting fresh with you, Doug. I think he just changed his mind that his name is Angel

and he just doesn't want the grief. Okay, Charlie. You brought up Charlie's Angels poster. Which one is it? Full throttle, so it's Charlie's Angels 2. They never say that in a dialogue in that movie. Charlie doesn't call to go, Hello, Charlie's Angels 2. They never say that in a dialogue in that movie. They never, like, he doesn't call up, Charlie doesn't call up

and go, hello, Charlie's Angels. Full throttle. Is what I'm going to need you to do for this assignment. Your mother has been fully throttled. Your awesome people have been. Taken. Taken 2, right? Alright, Charlie.

Would you like In Theaters How? That's movies that the folks over at my sister podcast, How Did This Get Made, they wonder, how did that get made? Or, Franken-wingy category, which is Tim Burton movies that have a dog in them. And just one quick clue, it's not Franken-wingy category, which is Tim Burton movies that have a dog in them. And just one quick clue, it's not Franken-wingy. Or, got one more, buddy. Settle down. Easy, Angel.

Angel eyes. Or... At Lazy Comedy suggested M&M's, and that category is Masked Murderers. So it's a movie with a masked murderer in it. There you go, Tim Burton. Just in time for Hollywood, Halloween. All right. This is a Tim Burton movie with a dog in it.

Three stars from Leonard. He calls it highly imaginative. It's from 1993, and he says that it has constantly surprising visuals. And then he lists seven performers that are involved in this movie. How many names do you think? I'm going to go two. Two names. Well, I'm going to say

zero. I'm going to say zero. You're not kidding around. What do you think of that? Charlie. You're not kidding around. What do you think of that, Charlie? You have an idea of what you think it is? Yeah, they might as well have one. Sorry, Charlie. Only good tasting tuna. Charlie don't surf, so I'm going to go... I can't. I'm going to let you guess it.

You're going to make him name it? Yeah. Say Sean Jordan, name that movie. Sean Jordan. But with the microphone. I'm sorry. Mr. Sean Jordan. All right, Mr. Angel. Is it Everton Dance?

No. What's your deck, come on? The dog is a ghost of a dog. Is it ghost of a ghost? And the movie's called The Nightmare Before Christmas. Charlie Did It, everybody! Congratulations, Charlie. Thank you for playing. Take your poster of Cameron Diaz's ass. Cameron D-ass. I'm gonna take my crystal skull of vodka and exit the stage with it.

Ladies and gentlemen, Sean Jordan! Poor Travis and Matt. Their name tags just strewn on the floor. You guys should come get them. That's all I'm saying. Do you, sir, do you have somebody that I can call a shithead here at the end of the recording? Oh, he's going to jot it down. I like that. Back of the name tags have them.

Oh, that's right. Let me see if one of these name tags has one. That's got a great one. I like that. Back in the name tags have them. Oh, that's right. Let me see if one of these name tags has one. That's got a great one. I got a great one. Alright. That's a weird one. But anyway, thank you everybody for coming. And the lost irony of calling people a shithead is a shithead. I know, right?

Go ahead and write yours down. A nice gentleman in a repo man shirt sitting in the front row. I think he deserves to get this out to the world. Okay. As always, the Detroit Lions is a shithead. Yay!