Doug Loves Movies - Shane Black, Jesse Joyce and Mark Normand guest

Episode Date: May 24, 2016

Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes filmmaker Shane Black, along with comics Jesse Joyce and Mark Normand to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 as a top or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody My name is Doug and and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you from the Nerd Melt showroom

in the back of Meltdown Comics in Hollywood. It's Monday, May 23rd. Seems like just yesterday was May 22nd. Where's the time go? 2016, let me see your name tags. Good, you brought some Doug plugs Wednesday night I'm anxious to get the guests out here

Wednesday night I'm doing Doug Lowe's movies at Helium in St. Louis and then stand up at the same joint that's a gas on Thursday bring your name tags to both shows St. Lou, Boston Saturday May 28th at the Wilbur Theater

at 420. There's still some tickets for that. And the next Monday, May 30th, Douglas Movies is back at the Gramercy Theater in New York City. DouglasMovies.com. That's DouglasMovies.com. I probably, she goes without saying, but just in case it'll help

ticket sales, Judy Gold will not be on the next show in New York. Aw, I know, right? I think she's hilarious. But, you know, I can't always be right. So, I mean, about who would be a good guest. But I'm excited about my guests tonight. They're going to come out here in a second after I tell you

what I brought for the prize bag. A Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. Some Deluscious cookies that they give out when you're on uh at midnight um a sticker that i got this last weekend when i was in gulf shores alabama somebody's handing out stickers that say ala bama i don't know what what the point is of that but uh i thought it'd be fun to have some and give them away. And of course, from my own personal collection

of VHS tapes, an episode of the TV show Gross Point called The Opposite Off Sex. I don't know if that's a typo, or that's really what they were going for. And then an episode of Buffy

the Vampire Slayer called The Gift, which I think is a classic one. It's a really good one. What happens in that one? Nobody knows. Wait, what? I feel bad when I talk to you guys and then yell at you later for talking, but what

happens in that one? Oh, you weren't sure? No, that was the body when her mom dies, right? What? She dies in The Gift? Oh, you weren't sure? No, that was the body when her mom dies, right? What? She dies in the gif? Buffy does? And it's like, okay. Shut up! It turned into an Adam Sandler

character. He's always telling somebody to shut up at the top of his lungs. And I brought matching ones. There's two little fun rubber pipes from Peacemaker. But we got two newbies in one. It's pretty newbie as well, because he's only been on the show once before.

Please, you guys, give a big warm welcome to Mark Norman, Jesse Joyce, and Shane Black. Hello, sir. Hey, get over here. Oh, there's already a power struggle happening? I forgot to mention, I also brought a signed poster of the Angry Birds movie poster. Signed by me. Threw my name on there. Let's talk to the gentleman on the...

Gentleman on the... What is happening with him? I don't know. Mark took off again. Oh, Mark forgot the gentleman on the gentleman on the what is happening with him I don't know Mark took off again oh Mark forgot the prize for the bag all right thanks dude just yeah there you go to Mark's left I'm just so excited that he's here because I love his movies it's Shane Black, everybody.

The Nice Guys is in theaters now. Shane's over, he's just yawning. No, no. I've had movies open before, it's just. It's in theaters, you should see it. It's hilarious. Thank've had movies open before. It's in theaters. You should see it. It's hilarious. Thank you. We have one review in from the floor.

Hilarious. We have a second on that, so now we can all just shut the hell up. I saw it today, in fact, and I'm very excited that I saw it. And I think it's one of those movies that's more fun the less you know about it and I believe the trailer shows

possibly something from the very last scene in the film so I'm very much against that so just watch the movie but my favorite thing that I think people should look for is because it takes place in 1977 Los Angeles you get a nice drive by

and the old Tower Records on Sunset Boulevard and that's magic of special effects or stock footage how'd you pull that off no that's just that's that's just digital painting yeah yeah but we you know you go back and you look at the photographs and you and Joel Silver the producer was really meticulous about getting everything. Like, if there's a building there, he didn't think was there, so we had to take two days to figure out if the building in the background was there, that kind of shit.

But no one, you know, pays attention to. But then apparently some people do. I mean, you were very impressed with the verisimilitude then. Yeah. Yeah, sure. I love a big word. Also joining us... verisimilitude then. Yeah, sure. I love a big word. If that building was there, they knocked it the fuck down. That's how diligent they were.

Right. Well, diligent, another big word. This is a smart crew. I don't know what Mark and I are going to do. It's Jesse Joyce, everybody. How's it going? Hello. Hey, Joyce! Current champion of the March march madness brackets tournament of uh at midnight i'm not i lost to paul f tompkins because he cheated at the end wait so i've always thought that you won but paul f tompkins really won well i won in spirit everyone like i just watched the thing only heard

people say that you won well that's because he he is you can't watch the thing. I just only heard people say that you won. Well, that's because he, you know, like, at the end, it's an answer. It's just the two jokes, yeah. Right, but it's anonymous. And then his joke was a, it wasn't a joke. It was just pandering for applause. And so, you know what I mean? Sure.

So it's like a cheat win. Okay. So I think that's why everybody thinks. I think there is no cheating in it, but everybody has opinions about when you do. Well, I have a track record backstage of how many times I've won, how many times I've lost, and how many times Moshe and Paul F. Tompkins cheated against me, which I don't count.

I thought my first loss to Kumail Nanjiani, I thought he cheated, but you know what? Let's save this for later. Let's you and I talk about this when we're just hanging out. I was clarifying. Yeah, yeah. No, believe me. I fucking start rattling off the stats

when people start telling me, you know, oh, Kyle Kinane's won the most times. No, he hasn't. It's Ron Funches. And I am right behind Ron Funches. That's why I know. Yeah, sure.

Shane Black's going, what? Let's introduce our third panelists on the panel he was on the New York show recently a show there so this is his second time but first time on the west coast it's Mark Norman this is actually my my third time but it It is? Paul F. Tompkins cheated. He's that fucking guy. Everywhere you go. I know, right?

Yeah, he's inescapable. Third time. And you did the Conan O'Brien show this evening. Did it today, yeah. Yeah, today. Everyone can race home at the end of this tonight here in Los Angeles and watch you do that. Thanks, yeah.

And then everyone else, watch it on, the clip will be online. That's what we really do, let's be honest. Yeah. That's how it works with the Stan. Get a porn window open, a Pinterest, and a Kona. You're happy with it? And when you lie, if you weren't?

It's never as good as you want, but I did well, I think. Okay, good. Yeah. That's a perfect way to, that's a home run good as you want but I'm I did well okay good yeah that's all that's perfect way to that's a home run thank you yeah you're totally mark sets are never as good as I want I hope you guys aren't gonna fight all night like pro and Ryan Gosling in The Nice Guys in theaters now. Top five at the nation's box office. I'm just glad Jesse had come from moving furniture to be here.

I did, I did. This is audio. I don't need to dress up. Oh, right. So how did you, did you write that movie for, you co-wrote it with another dude. Yeah.

But did you have those two leads, Russell and Ryan, in mind, or did you just write the characters and then find them later? Yeah, much later, yeah. We wrote the script versions of it, you know, where it was everything. At one point, we wrote something

in the present day, back in 2000, and tried to do it as a TV show, and they got very upset at CBS about standards and practices. That was the kind of one. No, anything harsh. I mean, there's a scene where, you know, a little girl says, Dad, Dad, take me to the party. I stowed away in the trunk

and he just shuts the lid and gives the keys to the valet. And you think, well, he's not really going to let her suffocate in the fucking trunk. But they were freaking out. There's child abuse! No, he right back in and he opens the trunk and see it doesn't matter the act of doing we have a did you know our network then they lecture us our network has values here it's like well okay so you're gonna pitch me your networks values now okay we knew that there wasn't gonna work so we took it

HBO that didn't where the guy Chris Albrecht was out and finally man just after 13 years it came together in two days these two big actors said I'll do it if he does it and that's often how it happens it comes together very quickly and thank God because it's mostly a thriller and a mystery with comedy and so if we pluck two SNL guys or we tried to get two comedians Okay. No, no. It's fine. I'm picturing the reboot with these two guys and I think it could work. I had no idea I was even being considered.

And if I have, I've really dropped the ball. I'm getting my lines together. I didn't know. It's nice to be thought of. Thanks. Thanks, Tom. No, because comedians are great. And you have a good laugh. It's fine. It's fine. At the end of the day, Thanks Thanks Tom No because comedians are great and you have a good laugh and then but It's fine

It's fine At the end of the day We're scumbags It's still cool You should do some serious acting because comedians often make serious actors

and they're very good but you can't count on that so you have to get some roles first Yes Cosby Great work Very serious

How many people think Cosby might be innocent? And the listeners were silent as well, I can assure you. Anyone that thinks he might be innocent is probably not a fan of my constant ravings about what a rapist he is. Oh, is that your thing?

I say it a lot, yeah. I'm no Judd is that your thing? I say it a lot, yeah. You know Hannibal? Yeah, I know Judd Apatow, but I say it a lot. Burris, Hannibal Burris, who broke the story, is actually in The Nice Guys. Oh, right. Yeah, that's right. He's a comedian.

He plays a giant animated bee. Really? Wow, that's racist. Yeah, I was sitting here thinking I just saw it today and I'm pretty high, but I don't think he's in that.

He's in Neighbors 2. Yeah, and he's in Band of Robbers on Netflix and Hannibal's all over, all over the place. We should have got

Hannibal for this thing. He's doing great. He's been on, he's been on. We should have got Hannibal for this thing. He's doing great. He's been on. He's been on. He's always a fun guest. I couldn't make it. That's why you're here. Yeah, right.

Sure. Fair enough. Yeah. You don't know how far down the list I had to go. Tompkins was busy. Motion cashier. Tompkins is out on tour with Comedy Ba-Bang. But anyway, it's great to have all you guys here.

And we'll start with... Who is the audience off because i've never done i i'm not like on your show a lot no or at all this is your first time yeah who are the people here because they seem to like instantly know what to say which is kind of weird they are uh you know mostly long-time listers, and also many that come to the tapings quite frequently, and also people visiting Los Angeles, but they all are people that have, bless you, they have some sort of job that, or no job, that lends itself to hours and hours of listening. So we've got a lot of truckers in the crowd. I think I see a couple of nerds. No, I'll get more to the point.

It's nerds, Shane. Nerds are the ones that... And they're proud of it. We've taken back that word. This is the Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics. What'd you bring for the prize bag, good sir? They all look at me like, which one of us? Yeah, well, it feels like we're talking

on the subway. You know what I mean? Like you couldn't have made a slanky... Mount Rushmore came to life. Shane has a very big bag of stuff. I'm not sure what this is, but I'm gonna guess.

I'm thinking there's a Nice Guys poster in that poster roll thingy. Yeah, or, or several, maybe? Or Angry Birds,

meaning we just, we just came up, fuck it, let's just let the birds I can't believe I, I shouldn't, I've done an Angry Birds gag on the weekend

where that movie was number one. Let me do a quick watch this not that i watched the other the nice guys almost called them the other guys uh the nice guys not angry birds this has been watched this not that did anyone go to see the angry birds no way number one in the box office i went to the world premiere he was at the world premiere this person this guy what gives you the balls the first person in the world to see that movie that's amazing that's up no one else in the world got a chance to see it yet

was there a sleeping bag involved in this please tell me you wrote it. I don't understand, how did you get the ticket? I don't remember how I got it. He doesn't remember how he got it. It's one of those golden ticket Willy Wonka situations. He's eating a candy bar. Yes, his grandparents are bedridden. I don't realize how much the roof of this place is just like a shitty barn.

There's like loose nails sticking out of up here. Well, it was never intended to be used. They make it look a lot better on the Meltdown TV show. They take all that stuff in between seasons. So what else is in the bag? Oh, yeah Framed it's some sort of

First vinyl print of soundtrack 3d and extras and everything else it's actually cost like Oh. 3D and extras and everything else. It actually costs like, you know, ten bucks, so. It's a pricey item, and you brought it, and it's all in a bag.

And it's in a bag, and this shit, I mean, after the movie, you know, bombs this little... Oh, it's doing well. No, it's fine. It's just the birds, man. Yeah, you'll give them something to be angry about. Yeah. It's not going to bomb.

You're thinking of Jesse. But that's what it comes down to, is a great R-rated comedy thriller. It's a tougher road. But that movie, everyone that's going to see it is going to love it. So it'll have a great life in everybody's hearts and minds. Boy, man, that's you just sure to give up halfway through that.

There was just no saving it. I will say this much, though, and then I'll shut up, is that this is the kind of movie that comes out this time of year could get lost in the crowd among the caped fucking, you know, guys with rays coming out of them and

if you want to... Shane Black, director of Iron Man 3. But what I'm saying is that's your bag, I get it. You're here. And you like the striding out of smoke with the lights and the fuck you, I get it. You're here. And you like the striding out of smoke with the lights and the, fuck you, I'm gonna...

There's Wonder Woman, she came with you, that stuff. I don't like it. You're apparently enamored of it. That's okay. See it five times. I love it. See Captain America five times. Do it. It's a great movie. I love... Don't see it six times.

See the nice guys. And give us a shot. Give us a shot this summer. Tell all your friends. Honestly. One time out of six times that you go. I don't think, I don't know anybody that wouldn't like it. You just gotta, you gotta see it.

Yeah. All my friends are seeing it now. I came here. Yeah, no, that hurt my numbers here tonight I think I think some people are like let's go see Nice guys And you can pass that bag down here And I'll include it with all the other stuff

And thank you for bringing all of that Oh it's a Vons bag Very nice Yeah so somebody's gonna win that tonight Cause we're gonna play some games here Oh, it's a Vons bag. Very nice. Yeah, so somebody's going to win that tonight because we're going to play some games here in a little bit that are movie trivia related. Do you think of yourself as a guy who knows movie

trivia? Yeah. I have won various contests in that regard, yes. Oh, alright. Mark, we know how you do when you're on the show. What does that mean? I assumed not well.

I laughed too early. No, I just, I didn't mean it as well. It sounded like a dig. It wasn't, though. It's just like he's been on, and he seemed to do all right. Yeah, I come. It wasn't great. It wasn't bad.

Yeah, I go right down the middle. Yeah. Yeah, just like sexuality. And't great? It wasn't bad? Yeah, I go right down the middle. Yeah. Yeah, just like sexuality. And what do you have for the bag? Well, this is from a film, Guards of Galaxies, which I directed. And yeah, it's a mug

of the little guy. Yeah, Rock a Raccoon. Rock that Bradley Cooper played. Mm-hmm. There you go. And you know, it's a nice mug, and I bought it in the store here just now. Because I forgot to bring something.

I don't live here, Doug. No, I love it. That's a great, perfect gift. Thank you. Hey, all right, thanks. I even beat up the box a little bit, so it looked, you know, like I had some love for it. Did you actually do that? Oh, yeah. It is beat up the box a little bit, so it looked like I had some love for it. Did you actually do that?

Oh, yeah. It is beat up. I took it in the bathroom and really beat the shit out of it. Feels more like maybe it was in a bargain bin of some sort. But that's cool. Thanks for grabbing it at the last minute and making an excellent choice. Jesse, what do you got for the pack?

I got two things. I don't know which to show first, so I'll just... Get it over with. This is a Chinese bootleg of the Taylor of Panama, called the Tay-whore of Panama. I got this in Shanghai

in 2008. And somehow I carried it from Shanghai to New York and then New York to here. I don't know why I would have brought this. There's a lot of typos all over the back of this. It's pretty much illegible. When you say bootleg, was it filmed off of a screen? I don't know. I don't believe I've ever seen this.

It probably doesn't work, by the way. It's very likely that there's no movie on here. Or Chinese pornography. I don't believe I've ever seen this. It probably doesn't work, by the way. It's very likely that there's no movie on here. Or Chinese pornography. I don't know what's on here. But this is the Tehor of Panama. And then additionally, this was a sweet gesture from my mom, but misguided.

Braveheart. I love Braveheart. It was like my favorite movie growing up. I thought you said brain fart. Brain fart. I totally heard brain fart as well. second that yeah you know it's an epic film about the scottish brain fart epidemic 13 12 uh anyway so my mom got this she got this for me a long time it's like an off-brand william wallace like it's definitely not a legit will. It's like an off-brand William Wallace. It's definitely not a legit William. It's like...

It looks more like fucking Lethal Weapon Mel Gibson with a skirt, more or less. But it still has some kind of tag on it and the sword's broken. So this is some shit I keep moving around from house to apartment and I don't know. I'm getting rid of it.

It has a certificate of unauthenticity. So it's just basically Scottish guy is really I think all we're legally allowed to say about that. It's a sculpture of a Scottish guy. He's going in the bag

you guys. What a tremendous array of gifts we have for somebody this evening but before we start the game portion of the show I have one question I like to ask each of the guests we'll start with Shane black of course other than your own just you don't have to use the surname that's okay you're right, but I really... It is funny that I... Shane just doesn't feel right all by itself. We'll bond later. Go ahead.

Okay. Sir Shane, my question for you is, what was the last movie that you saw in a theater or on a device? The last movie I saw was really, really good, and it's also kind of hard and harsh. It was a Danish film called The Hunt with Mads Mikkelsen. Oh, my God, yeah. It's amazing.

Yeah, very good film. Good film. That guy my God, yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, very good film. Good film. That guy's a great actor. He's great in a comedy that I saw called Men and Chicken. I've seen the ads, but I never, you really? He's hilarious in it. Okay. And it's a very funny movie.

It's very strange. Who knows who Mads Mikkelsen is, or Mikkelsen? Wow. Best known. He was the Hannibal TV series. Or the Sheath in Casino Royale. You are good at this.

Alright, here's one for you and for our audience. What's an example of a motion picture made in 1964 that was remade in 1982 with the same lead actor in the same lead role. Oh, it was, what's his name, Paul Newman

in Color of Money and- No, no, that's a sequel. This is a remake. Oh. What's the year, 64 and? 82. It's a remake, it's the same movie and the same lead played it twice as a remake except he There you go. I did it.

Man, oh man. Holy shit. You should host a movie game show. But I think there might have been people in the audience that knew the answer but didn't yell it out because they thought I'd get mad at them. But he did ask everybody.

So thank you for being polite do you really curry his favor you're afraid of his anger i don't know if they're afraid of it as much as they just they get it um because they're yelling you know when they're listening to the show it's they'll just yell at their device you know while they're listening to the show they'll just yell at their device you know while they're listening to it get the other guy you go

I can't think I'm trying to think of what movie you can't think of the last movie you didn't watch one on the plane coming out

no no no no I didn't any dates you got any dates lately yeah no movie hotel room

he does not take them out public no no no. Ken Cosby, big hero. Let's see. I don't know. You go.

I'll think. Okay, Jesse. All right, it's one of these two. It was either In the Heart of the Sea, the Moby Dick movie. You decided to check that out? I did, and I liked it a lot. Really? Genuinely, yeah.

It's one of the greatest. Pardon the pun. It was met with a sea of indifference. Yes, well. It was such a big movie and nobody even talked about it being a flop. Nobody talked about it at all. I'm like a huge history dork.

I just liked it for the wailing. I thought it was neat. I thought there was neat wailing. Have you ever seen anybody wail? No? Because neither had I and then now i've seen it you know like i literally there's been other film versions of moby dick gregory peck yeah but it's shittier it's not as good the whaling isn't as good you know listen i genuinely like i will totally throw down money if i see like if it's just like oh like I have a real different barometer for

the same thing with food. I'll just eat a rattlesnake just to say I did, but not because I like the taste of rattlesnake. You know what I mean? Particularly. I did that a couple weeks ago in Phoenix, but the point, I'll see a movie just because there's one thing in the preview that's like, oh fuck.

Hangover, whichever one the Hangover, Hangover 2 or whatever, I didn't think that was going to be a good, but there was a monkey smoking cigarettes in it. And I was like, I've never seen a monkey smoking cigarette. If I came up to you and I was like, would you pay $15 to see a monkey smoking cigarettes? You fucking totally would. And so that's what I did. I was like, show me a fucking smoking monkey. And I threw down 15 and it smoked a lot. And so that's, that was my barometer for how satisfied so like i sat there on demand i was like i've never seen whaling so i was like all right i'll just fucking watch whaling and i did and it was great for that reason the other one is the hateful eight i saw that too

no opinion on that one i've never seen a lady lady's head explode in a barn, so I got to see that. That was neat. Ah, spoiler! Whatever, everybody's head explodes in every Tarantino movie. I didn't like it so much. I didn't care for it.

I didn't care for it. I was watching Kingsman Secret Service in that movie. Everyone's head blows up. Oh, that? That looks like a fucking LensCrafters

commercial directed by Jackie Chan. I didn't see it, but that's what every preview is like. Yeah, it's fucking guys in thick glasses kickboxing. Whatever. Thick glasses. The glasses are very prominent

in that movie for some reason. Yeah, it's the mark of the Kingsman. Shitty eyesight? You're smart looking and a gentleman and also the glasses have gadgets in them. Got their earpiece and all that shit. Oh, okay.

I didn't see it. I just like the previews. He's always talking about the previews. Yeah, yeah. Because they do get too much in the way. They do. Mark, what did you think of something? Yeah, I remember now.

Geez, I feel like I'm laying down on seven minutes on whaling. I got more on whaling. No, I've realized. I feel like I'm letting you down on seven minutes on whaling. I've got more on whaling. No, I've realized. I saw the nice guys. Are you fucking... What? Yeah. Just slipped my mind. What an idiot.

No, I'm kidding. I haven't seen it. But I remember the movie. It was Zoolander 2. Isn't it fun, though, that you could really make everybody think you really did something that dumb? Like everyone was buying it. They bought it. They bought it.

Then you get that second laugh of, I'm kidding, you're a maestro. Ah, thanks. Well, they think I'm dumb. It doesn't take skill to lie. If I say, oh, shit, I just got to call my mother sick, everyone's going to be sad. That doesn't mean I'm kidding, you're a maestro. Ah, thanks. Well, they think I'm dumb. It doesn't take skill to lie. If I say, oh shit, I just got to call my mother sick, everyone's going to be sad. That doesn't mean I'm a genius. It means I'm an asshole.

Lying, there's no reason not to believe these are nice people. They think that it's the truth because they're nice. They're very nice. Also possibly unemployed. Very nice. So what's your real answer? Zoolander 2, I saw it in a hotel. also possibly unemployed but um very nice so what's your real answer? Zoolander 2 I saw it in a hotel

and it is brutal I hate to be a mean guy what's wrong? the first one was great what's wrong? I love the first one the second one is just

a whole movie of callbacks it's just redoing every joke over so you go oh yeah but it's not actually a movie you know it's just call back call mark always points at the screen with his beer can when he goes yeah

that's happening up there look people point during a movie look at that did you see it I did it I loved it. What? Yeah, yeah. All right. Wait, what are we talking about? Zoolander 2. Oh, I thought we were talking about The Nice Guys. Oh, yeah. In theaters now. Oh, great movie.

Yeah, I do like that a lot. And I have not seen Zoolander 2, but I'll check it out. Just watch Zoolander twice and you got it. All right, then I'm not going to be checking it out as it turns out. Yeah. I'm good. Yeah, yeah.

But everybody involved is so talented and I really love them a lot. Yeah. Does anyone have that problem with Saturday Night Live that that's the same thing? It's like they also,

oh, they were so brilliant back in the day. You had Roseanne, Roseanne and Dana would do the same joke and then they'd call it back and she'd do it again they'd call it back, and she'd do it again. They'd call it back, she'd do it again. The samurai would be like a butcher, then a tailor, then a goldsmith.

Yeah, I completely agree. They rely so much less on that now. They don't do, there's no, like, catchphrases that come out of SNL that they pound into us. Like, every week they come up with original stuff that's not as good as other things, but they don't overdo anything, I don't think. Shane, do you only have problems

with sketches of people who died in their 40s? Is that... Oh, too soon. He coincidentally brought up the only two SNL members who died tragically. No, but...

Wait, has that only happened twice? Oh, well, it's probably way more... It's way more than two. Dennis Miller died inside. That's the first two that he passed. Oh yeah, Charles Rocket died in a field, right? That's astonishing. That was astonishing to hear about.

Because no one ever explained why he did it. Do you know? Did you fall asleep? What are you doing? Charles Brockett did the seemingly impossible thing of cutting his own throat in the middle of a field and he was a comedian. Wow. And no one knows why, I guess. What a closer.

I mean, you think everything would be perfect and the whole world would be at your feet if you're in Earth, Girls, or Easy. As Geena Davis is... Yeah, he was also fired for saying fuck on the air. Yeah, yeah, he was one of, like, three times the fuck where it's gotten through on SNL. And Paul Schaefer...

Who didn't cut the throat. Paul Schaefer and Jenny Slate were the other two. That's right. Paul Slate? Paul Schaefer. There was a bit where they just kept saying, full flogging beats. I want you to do full flogging beats. Paul Schaefer and Jenny Slate were the other two. That's right. Paul Slate? Paul Schaefer. There was a bit where they just kept saying, full flogging beats.

I want you to do full flogging beats. And then when it was Paul Schaefer's turn, it's time to say it, he's like, full fucking beats. It's almost like a game where they tricked him into saying it. Yeah, right. They were really flying close to the sun. How did they think that was going to go?

It was like season four, you know, when everything started to, it was on its way out, or maybe out, and then it resurged. Yeah. Because the Dana Carvey sketch recently, when they did that again,

the church lady, it reminded me of how a church lady just said the same thing every time. I couldn't stand it. It was an ass special. And they don't do that anymore. They don't have sketches where they just come out and say all the same stuff. Except for the What Up With That talk show, which is my favorite sketch they've ever done.

Because it's just so stupid every time. And everybody just dances around through most of the sketch, which I find very amusing. Right, right. Like Fred Armisen hosted the other night. I'm like, dude, what up with that that because he's there he could be the kenny g kind of guy and sudeikis was there he could be in his track suit this is doug loves movies not doug loves uh tv snl the maker of future movie stars um what were the was anybody close to cast to nice guys that wasn't the guys that Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling? Did anybody get near it?

Did they say at some point, hey, let's get Mel and Danny back together? No. That didn't come up. At one point there was a TV show they were pitching where it would be Jason Statham and Chai McBride. But this was like 2006. I'm not kidding. I thought I was kidding. That's not bad.

That's hilarious. Oh wow. Sean Penn said he would do it in 2010 but he wanted like 20 million dollars to do it

which is like as much as we're going to make so we couldn't do that. No you're going to clean up. No we'll clean up. We'll do fine.

Why was he able to ask for so much? he was he hot off of i am sam he no he just woke it was milk money yeah it was it was after milk oh there you go milk that was a fun turn of phrase you had there it was not at all funny but it was like clever yeah we call that a mike caplan but it was like, hmm, clever. We called it a Mike Kaplan. Good, clever. See, Shane, they get references about other comedians in this crowd. Like I said, I was doing okay.

That one, phew. My bad, my bad. That one was not for him. I'll keep it down to Iron Man 3. You'd lose me there, man. I wasn't paying attention. I was at the crafty table Oh we have one of those?

What? No no no I thought you got crafty all of a sudden No no you were in that room What'd they have like a bowl of candy or something? I took these from the back fridge You got a beer yeah I found a piece of nicotine gum under a chair

It's going alright Oh that's from Todd Glass I'm under a chair. It's going all right. Oh, that's from Todd Glass. You're going to go gay. No. For those of you not in the business, the first thing you do, you've got to investigate

the green room. Yeah. Yeah. I just take it the next step and flip over the chairs and see what's happening. Real quick, I want to give some love also to Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Great flick

That was great And again, two guys that, you know, comedy wasn't necessarily their thing, they were funny actors Donnie had just done the shaggy dog Yeah, oh you're right i take him back i mean and uh val kilmer is i think one of the best things about that movie tombstone did you ever see tombstone oh yes holy but yeah and in kiss kiss bang bang he gives one of his best performances that scene with the russian roulette is hysterical to me

i laugh every time yeah tell him I did I told him already I told him already what are all the movies you've directed just so we can get it out there

I think I've touched on most of them in the game huh not in the game what do you mean did you touch on them in the game

no I mean in this conversation alright alright cause that would be unfair oh I see what you're saying yeah yeah no I would never tip the game? No, I mean in this conversation. All right, all right, because that would be unfair. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah, no, I would never tip the game towards any particular guest. All right, cool.

I'd have to really admire one guest more than the others to do that. Their vast body of work. Yeah. So you've got to leg up on me because I'm not familiar with any of the movies you guys have directed so are you familiar with Courtney and Ray J that was my work but speed into the galaxy apparently that was speaking of comedians doing drama one that really pulled it off, I thought, excellently in one of the films that you wrote was Taylor Negron in Last Boy Scout. It was an awesome villain in that movie.

Yeah, that was weird because it was a good idea, but we ended up having to cut dialogue and this and that because that was the year of basic instinct. And they were so mad. David Geffen even came out in the gay community that gay people were now being portrayed as villains. And so they would show up on set in flashlights and honk horns and stop us from filming because they found out

that Taylor Negrin was playing a character. I didn't even write him as gay. He just was gay. But they assumed that there was this vendetta against gay people because two lesbians kiss who murdered someone in Basic Instinct. I thought it was a little oversensitive myself. I agree. Yeah, a little bit there. But he's still pretty gay in the movie. Yeah, well, he's dead now, right?

You got away with it. Yeah, he does. Yeah, unfortunately. But he was a very funny dude. You know, the pizza delivery guy, speaking of Sean Penn in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. And he's good in the Sally Field movie, too. Yeah, yeah. Punchline. But then he you know, he's just

great as Milo in Last Boy Scout, which is a movie that if it's on cable, I'm in. I'm not going to get stuff done for the next couple hours because I just watch it. I can watch it endlessly and he's great in it. And he also dies great in it. It's one of the better villain deaths as well.

It's just action. AIDS? I knew you guys couldn't handle it. So are you going to... I didn't think that would go over. So what's next for you then? Are you going to walk away from movies with action in them? Because you've been doing great with that.

No, I mean, the action's great. It just can't be just action, right? I mean... Of course. That's what I complain about, is the character's got to be interesting. I don't care if a dinosaur's chasing somebody. I want to like or be interested in that person the dinosaur's chasing, or the dinosaur.

Somebody, have a personality. I would totally pay $15 to see a dinosaur chase a guy. Just that. People did. People went nuts for Jurassic World, but, you know, everyone guy just that people did people went nuts for dress world but you know everyone involved in that movie did something better at some other point in their career can we get a smoking dinosaur because i would fucking uh all right i remember by the way last boy scout was like up to that i don't know if if anybody else has a benchmark movie, but that was the most sort of

aggressive movie I'd seen at that stage in my life. Because we didn't have cable at my house. But you're a young guy. Yeah, well, I'm 37. So whenever that came out, I was... So I went over to a friend's house to watch because he had HBO. And that was on. And I remember just like, holy fuck.

I'd only ever seen like network television before so it was a real seminal moment and you have to understand I'm 50 something so when we were a kid I was a kid

HBO started in 72 or something 74 so before that there was this thing the Z channel and they would just scramble the signals

so you'd turn on the TV and you'd just see these wavy lines and every once in a while a tit right yeah I remember that so you would sit at the tv watching this black and white wavy signal just like trying to time yourself so that you yeah because yes you have stuff to do got business to take care of there's probably a ticking clock because family is going to walk into the room.

Yeah. They didn't leave you at home alone while they went to France. I remember when I was a kid, we had the Playboy channel, which was similar. It was scrambled, but every now and then it would click on

for like eight minutes. Oh, and it would be a perfect world for a while. You just have to drop whatever you're doing and beat off. The whole family would beat off. Yeah. It was wild. It could be Christmas morning. It's working!

We had a spotter by the TV 24-7. Yeah, right. And you'd also push record on the VCR, just in case. Those were good times. You'll never experience that. Seriously, now it sucks. Kids, you go on your keyboard, you type adjustable Stillson wrench,

and there's tits. Right. I mean, it's just, it was better when it was tougher. Yeah. Yeah. Accidental, like when you found a box in the woods. That's what I was going to say, the woods.

Or now a thing will pop up are you 18 yes yeah click yes every time who's lying there ah you got me fuck it yeah the box in the woods was big how about uh because where'd you step sister what yeah sorry i stepped right on that what were you saying so where'd you grow up new orleans that's right i knew that What were you saying? I said, where'd you grow up? New Orleans. That's right, I knew that. Yeah. So you had way different woods than I had. Like, yours had gators in it, probably. Yeah, we had swamp.

Yeah, right? But you still had a box of porn. So did I. Pennsylvania. I was born, yeah. Still was a box of porn in the woods. Isn't that funny? It was like a point of pride to, like, give your friend porn.

Like, an older guy would give you porn. Some kind of Johnny Appleseed meets Jared Fogle just wandering around America leaving boxes of pornography for kids. Right. God bless that guy, whoever he was. I felt that might be pretty good if I just let him keep going.

Sorry. I know you have a show to do here. Sorry. I'm just like looking at my stuff. This is pretty interesting. I'm sorry, this is your show. It's good stuff. Okay.

I'll do what I do right now. I'm surprised they didn't have more to say about Jared Fogle. I mean, I was about to go into it, but Doug seemed annoyed. What? Fogle. What about him? Fogle. Have you heard about his thing? It's funny.

There's a line in Deadpool, a Jared joke, and it has nothing to do, I don't think, Great job on Deadpool, by the way. Mark, no. Oh, shit. Sorry, I thought you were sucking his dick again No

But let me ask you this Lethal Weapon 2, 3, and 4 If you had to rank them No, what 4, I'm gonna go 4 Not you, Shane What do you You got character credit for the rest of I

didn't want to do any more of them really I wrote a draft of two that was kind of more of a straight thriller with a couple jokes in it and they said no no we want to do it we fuck you at the drive-thru they fuck you at the drive-thru the Joe Pesci character right yeah yeah and so in my script for instance that character is like in one scene for a minute and then in the movie yeah it's the whole thing so I just said I you know I was panicking I didn't think I could write I was miserable I if one hit wonder I thought to myself I've written my last funny line so I just I just kind of stopped because they didn't want to do it anyway I didn't

want to change the whole script to make it a comedy I didn't think I could I didn't want to but I didn't think i could and then they became comedies and you know i i think we could have spared ourselves with weapon three and four without really i don't think the world would have really uh had a big wake over that you know it would have been okay yeah and then there it is in the opening credits of each one of those your name like you are yeah but it's not like i get two million dollars i get like you know a hundred grand or something yeah silver lining i guess to having your name on the sequels without working on them but uh what

nothing yeah it's something about a foot long is the joke in deadpool That photo. What? Nothing. Yeah, something about a foot long is the joke in Deadpool. I guess you could imagine a child in this scenario if you wanted to, if you wanted to reach for it. I'm not great at this. I'm not great at accents. But if you were ever trying to get into a South African accent, I think there's no better phrase than in Glee the Weapon Two when he's like, I'm having some pinting done. Pinting, right? The word pinting. Is that the same guy that goes, diplomatic immunity! Yeah, it's the same guy.

Yeah, that drives me nuts. And I like the guy in the middle of the movie, because you're bleak! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bleak! It is the fucking dumbest accent. It's like halfway between German and Australian. It makes no fucking sense. I heard this 12-year-old girl on NPR, and she was a little South African. accent it's like halfway between german and australian it makes no sense i heard this 12 year old girl on npr she was a little south african she was like racing bicycles and that's how she said it she was like talking about a bicycle competition and like she sounded

like hitler she's a cute little girl but it was just she sounded like it just made me sounds like what's what it sounds like when you hitler sorry go ahead all right this is the part where i have to say let the games begin shall we play a game gentlemen the audience members this is where it gets cultier, Shane, I'm afraid. The audience members have all brought, they've decorated things, they've made name tags to try to lure you in to choose them, because you'd be playing on behalf of the person

whose name tag you most... I thought you said they had chops. You most... Oh, no, they do. whose name tag you most you most Oh no, they do. They're printing these things out at their jobs. Wow. In the case of those

donuts back there, that's just he just made a stop on the way here. I don't know. Or took them from the break room. Oh, he'saching for the banana So all you guys have to go physically grab the Name tag of the person you'd like to play for And while you do that we'll go to a brief

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supporters like you, so join their more than 1 million social media followers and get a Movement Watch today. Go to MVMTwatches.com slash Doug and they'll give you 15% off your entire purchase. That's MVMTwatches.com slash D-O-U-G Back to the show! We're back! Who are you playing for, Shane? What kind of

poster you got over there? I got a poster from, uh, it says Use your microphone voice. Well, that's what I'm saying. It's a Die Hard Drew. I promise to try harder on my next name tag. That's pretty good.

Very creative. Sure is. And there's this word compressed, Bruce Willis. It's like blown up 72 times or something. It's like blown up 72 times or something. It's the smallest internet picture ever. All right, that's effort.

Yeah. What do you got there, Mark? Well, the reason I jumped to this one, it's a middle finger that says super bit me, which I think is a video game thing, right? I guess so. Yeah, yeah. But it also came with...

Donuts. Donuts! Oh, wait. And he's got something on the back. No, don't read that. Oh, jeez. No! Thank God you were here, madam.

Wow, did you hear that? That was a shriek of rape. Holy hell. Don't! What's the most outrageous thing anyone's ever done to try to get played for in this game? Oh, there was one lady who had written something on her pussy. What?

I couldn't even stick with that. I couldn't even tell you. I mean, there's been some weird things, but... That pussy was good.

It was Garfield's Tale of Two Kitties. What do you got there, Jesse? Jesse. I just went with this for the sheer make-a-wish quality of how utterly sad

and terrible this is. This is... This just fucking... This guy... Oh, yeah. You mean to tell me this guy has an extra chromosome and not three different markers i was calling a that's what i did yeah i get where you're going there

he went i am sam on that one i did uh it's really some big balls to go with that one yeah yeah it's pretty sad that kid was drooling when he wrote that. So, the dude's name is Ryan, right? I know. The dude's name is Ryan, and he wrote a sign that says, Kylo Ryan. Yeah. I wrote a sign. I'm giving it too much of a majestic spin.

Yeah. Just curled a marker in his orangutan fist, and just fucking scrawled out whatever. And it just happened to be the name of the animal. I don't know why you have to insult orangutans. They're beautiful animals.

I imagine they have the same pen name. They're living with limitations. I saw signs of Katrina that were more pretty. He's from the region. He can say it. He can say it. Local humor. Alright, well we must have offended every possible person we haven't.

So we should play some games because it's harder to say things like that. Like what? It's been fine. We're going to play a game tonight. What happened? The donuts. We wanted to try them, but they're the kind that just get,

they're like, you wear them. Do we have a, would you like these donut gloves? You eat one of these, you get a money shot. Do we have a, is there a roll of paper towels backstage? Or somewhere? They're working on it There's a guy in the front row People brought napkins

Don't throw them Watch what happens when you throw them Go ahead Yeah, that's what happens If only Fred Willard had those In the movie theater. Now, there's a young lady with a box there. What's in that box?

That's probably more donuts. Is it better donuts? It's a thing. People bring donuts. She'll let you have her donuts. You got a nice box. Oh, now that's a donut. Yeah, you can touch that one.

Oh, you're just sampling, taking bites out of a few of them there? I thought you were the high one. But it's fun too, Shane. You can throw your donuts at the audience if you'd like. No, I'm going to skip that. Okay. Mark, give me one of the

glazed ones. I'll get rid of it fast enough. Oh, they're really messy. Oh, this is disgusting. We call those Peter North donuts. Oh! Wow. Sorry.

Oh, man. Oh, wow. Sorry. Oh, man, oh, man. Yeah, there you go. Doug's getting a napkin for those at home. I got one on the wayward napkin. You got no job. You're at a nerd bomb comedy show. You get hit in the face with a fucking donut. Thanks.

Oh, sure. No, I don't want to throw one. Thank you, though. I don't want to throw one. Thank you, though. I don't want to not be a team player, but I just feel like... Just pick one up and chuck it at somebody. It makes you feel good. They're super sticky.

It makes you feel like you're alive. I don't know. There you go, Steve. They like it. They like it. They want it. Oh, these are so wet. What are you doing Monday night?

Hoping to get a donut in my face? How else are you going to get sticky glaze all over your face? She got it. She caught it. She caught it. All right. Yeah. She needs a napkin.

Whatever. Yeah. Oh. Just drop it. The same moment. It's already holding a donut. He throws one at her. Big fast.

No, the gross ceiling ricocheted. Give her a napkin, will you? There you go. Big fast. No, the gross ceiling ricocheted. You want a napkin, will you? There you go. All right, this is like what they do with Jenny Craig, I assume.

You have to assume. Yeah, throw away these evil donuts. That's how it started is I just can't, I can't eat donuts all the time, you know? Sure. try to keep it together comedians aren't really in shape but it's still it's like there's there's just a point where it's gets

gross there was one time a long time ago I went into a AA meeting in New York and I had there was like a first floor and there was like a reception and I go hey where's the meeting and the guys like all right it's two floors up make it right I did I sat down group of people they're all in a little circle they're crying or whatever right so I sit down and then this lady is talking and then halfway through some dude goes hey excuse me why are you here and I go well that's weird um for the a a meeting and he goes yeah that's what I thought that's two doors down this AA meeting. And he goes, yeah, that's what I thought. It's two doors down.

This is the Overeaters Anonymous meeting. And that's when I looked around, and I was like the only person that was not like 400 pounds. You know what I mean? I was like, oh, fuck. Because I would have brought donuts to that. You know what I mean? Hey, everybody, I brought, you know? Anyway, yeah.

So, oops. You got a show to do here, right? Sorry. We're right on track, man. It's all coming in right on schedule. We're going to play a game tonight that's called the Jason and Debs IMDB game. Yeah.

Beloved by some. Too difficult for others, maybe. I don't know. Jason dibs. Jason and Deb are the people I stole this game from. They're on the radio in Austin, Texas. And I played the game with them

on their show. And I said, I want to do it on my show. And they said, okay. And here's how it works, you guys. The three of you are playing to five points whoever wins the person that you're playing for whose name tag you chose is gonna win everything all the prizes that we brought all this all this stuff I keep calling it a prize but it's more like bags you have to lug around for a while

reasons to set up an eBay account. You could call it a lot of things other than prize bag. And on IMDB, you know the site, right? It says your top four things that you're,

you know, whoever you look up, it'll say best known for. It'll name four things and it's based on a very bizarre metric which is box office results and awards

and number of clicks it gets on the website and all this stuff. And they come up with the top four, which as you can imagine, for a lot of people, it's hard to pick a top four. You can put your name tag down. I feel bad that you have to lift the whole poster up to your mouth every time you take a drink of your beer.

I had an erection, luckily. Two birds. So for example erection, luckily. Two birds. So, for example, Shane, you don't strike me as the type who stares at his own IMDb page very much. No, it's not since Iron Man 3 and I got death threats for the

fucking Mandarin twist. Dude, I was scrolling through IMDb that they are so mad at you about Iron Man 3. Wait a minute, they might be in the room. That's one of the things I loved about Iron Man 3 is there's two great actors in that movie who both get to essentially play two different characters

because what's his name? I can't think of his name now, but from Memento. He plays the guy Pierce. He plays him when he's a nerd and then he comes back as a cool guy. And that's what I was talking about. You have more personalities in your superhero movie

than all these other superhero movies. Watch out! I just stepped on the prize bag. That cookie may have been crushed. What do you think your top four four most known for things are currently on IMDB? Mine? Yeah. There's always a lethal weapon.

Didn't make the top four. Didn't? Wow. I told you, it's a crazy metric they go by. All right Alright so wait So I don't get to answer You just interrupt And say I'm wrong

Oh Well this isn't a game Right this is just for fun Oh okay Yeah yeah Oh okay I'd say yeah It's gonna be

It's gonna be Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Iron Man 3 Oh shit Yeah the long kiss goodnight The last boy's got Long kiss goodnight I like I like that As a top four But they snuck in Lethal Weapon 2 Oh, shit. Yeah, The Long Kiss Goodnight. The Last Boy's got Long Kiss Goodnight. I like that as a top four, but they snuck in Lethal Weapon 2.

Oh, and what left? Instead of Long Kiss Goodnight. Yeah, well, yeah. Which is also another terrific. Do you have a sense of pride in the name Charlie Baltimore being used by a performer like that? I sort of do because Biggie Smalls It's pretty awesome, right?

watched it with his girlfriend and Biggie, apparently halfway through the movie, goes, hell, I like this movie. This is a great movie. And she said,

yeah, and the name's cool too. And so they used it. But just the idea of Biggie Smalls before his death watching The Long Kiss Good Night and being entertained by this,

it's just really brought some joy into that man's probably scary existence. A lot of dead people talk tonight. Taylor, Negron, Biggie, the other guy. Yeah, it's going to come up.

But I think I can promise you that none of the answers in this game are dead. So the idea here is I'm going to come up. But I think I can promise you that none of the answers in this game are dead. So the idea here is I'm going to start. I'll name a project that's in somebody's top four on IMDb. And you guys can just buzz in by saying your own name when you think you know the right answer. And once you get to the second title, that's when it'll kind of come together, that somebody's done, you know, like if I said Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

and Iron Man 3, one of the common denominators, there's two, Robert Downey Jr. and Shane Black. Drop clues until we buzz in. Yeah, yeah. Okay. But, you know, you want to buzz in on the first or second one

because the person who gets in first and gets it right gets to try to guess the additional movies in that person's top four one bonus point each yeah and even you get a negative point if you jump in at any point with the wrong answer these are directors and actors it could be anybody that would be on the IMDB page but but I keep it to movies but sometimes the answers can be TV shows okay because if somebody's more famous for a TV show they put that in page but holy shit but i keep it to movies but sometimes the answers can be tv shows you know okay because if somebody's more famous for a tv show they put that in there

oh so it's like neil patrick harris would be like you know gone girl how about your mother got it all right there's a lot of rules yeah well just wait because now everyone has to stand and spin for 30 seconds Just wait, because now everyone has to stand and spin for 30 seconds. I want everyone to be as dizzy as I am. That's how I get the non-smokers. No, those are all the rules. Negative point, yeah, and we're playing to five points.

And here we go. Let's try it. Oh, boy. This person, one of their top, number one of the top four best known for according to IMDb is the movie Heat. The second movie is Batman Forever. B. Falcomer.

That's correct. That's correct. So that gives you one point. And now you have the option to try to get two more points by naming two more Val Kilmer projects that they would list in his top four. Tombstone and real genius you know they went with top gun and kiss kiss bang bang come on you gotta believe in yourself shane um real genius though That was a

That was a little gem there Like he started off In some good comedies He was in Top Secret Yeah Yeah No he's a very Very talented guy

MacGruber He's great Was he difficult though? No Cause he was He was kind of on his ass At that point Not a lot of

You know he had no career At that point And he needed something. He needed to come back down. He was the same way. So there's always, no matter how difficult their reputation, when they have to step up, they kind of get themselves together, and they say, this is it.

It's kind of do-or-die time. So, yeah, they were great. It's a reputation I get to acquire without ever having to pay for it. Having worked with, quote, difficult actors. They weren't difficult. That's awesome. Because, yeah, I mean, you really, you have worked with some people

that are known to be a handful. Let's do another round. Shane's on the board with one point, and Mark and jesse are in the wings you've only done one i know really probably a silly time for a recap jesse and mark are in time for last yeah in the wings is a nice way to say losing but it's barely started. Here we go. Here's the next round.

The first movie, Braveheart. Second film is called Signs. Mark Norman. Oh, Mark got in there first with his own name. Mel Gibson seems... And what do you think it is? What do you mean? Mark, it's your guess. I said the thing first. I said Mel Gibson seems... And what do you think it is? What do you mean? Mark, it's your guess.

I said the thing first. I said Mel Gibson. No, he said Mark before... You've got to say your name. You've got to say your own name. And you also said the answer after Mark had already said Mark. So you were... Right, but he was wrong.

Mark Norman wasn't in either of those things. I was correct. I technically got... I was cut out. It was your own name. You're misunderstanding how the game works. He said me. Yeah, but I understood who he meant.

I know, I know. In this case, I don't think he's Mel Gibson. I think he's guessing. I do. Did you not know the real answer? Did you not hear my earlier point about AA meetings? And Mark gets to guess. I said Mel.

Who? What? Full name? Gibson. Yes, that's correct. That's too easy, man. That felt too easy. It felt like a trap. Yeah, the trap. I was waiting for like James Newton Howard, the composer, or something. We got it. Yeah, don't wait for that. Don't wait for that at all.

James Newton Howard bus is not stopping here. I feel like you can streamline this process just have somebody shout out the thing when they know it no because the problem is is that you know people can multiply shout out different answers and this is it works all right yeah I'm not telling you how to do it that's fine he knows what he's doing Joyce yeah I you know I come down and Jesse writes for M&I and I come down there and works. All right, yeah, I'm not telling you how to do your dad. Don't worry about it. It's fine. He knows what he's doing, Joyce. You know, I come down,

Jesse writes for at midnight, I come down there and tell him all the time, you gotta get him to give out kudos instead of points.

And they just don't listen to me either. All right, here we go. Two more Mel Gibson movies for

bonus points, Mark Norman. Shit. You have to be on IMDb, though. Right. Yeah.

Mark Norman. Shit. It doesn't have to be on IMDb, though. Right. Yeah. Two more. I'm going to go with... Melly G. Mel G.

Big Mel. And the ones you said are not. These are different. What? Never mind. All right. So far, we've got Braveheart and Signs. Just name two more movies that Mel Gibson's in.

In the four on IMDb. Yeah, but just name two that you know. It seems like a real struggle. I know a lot. Oh, okay. You know too many. I know too many. Yeah.

I'm going to say Lethal Whip and What women want. That means it's wrong. Lethal Weps was right, so you get a point for that, but they did not go with what women want. They went with what women really want, which is the Patriot. What?

Yeah, I don't know what that's about. Wait a minute, to Shane direct that no that sucked that's America's Braveheart yeah this is like six degrees of Kevin Bacon, but very easy. I'm waiting for the hard one. Hit me, man. He wants the hard one, you guys. Quick recap, I'm losing. No, no, you're in the wings. But don't forget, your name's Jesse, not Mill.

Got you. The callbacks are flying. It's like Zoolander 2. Which was a callback. The first title is The Sixth Sense. The second one, it's kind of a speed game. As soon as I say the second one,

say your own name. Die Hard. Mark Norman! Who was first? It was Mark, right? Jesse? I think it was Mark. I appreciate it. After the age joke, I thought I lost you guys.

Yeah, Mark was the loudest. Good point. I said it first. He was good. All right. Well, you know, big Bruce Will. Mm-hmm.

If only he'd said Young Lions, then you could go with you have to remember Hallie Joel Osment to get it correct. Right, right, right. Who looks terrible now?

Have you seen him? Actually, he's a good guy. He's a friend of Max Landis, who I know. They've both been great guests on this show, Mark. Oh, yeah? Yeah, they were terrific. The floor's shaking for all the name dropping. That's the great thing with Haley Joel Osment.

You get an extra name to drop when you're dropping it. You should have seen the floor shake when that fatso stepped up here. He has put on some weight. You get to name two more, and if you get them both right, you win this thing. You take it down. You said, just so I don't use those again. The Sixth Sense and Die Hard. All right.

You just have to come up with two more. Bruce Willis. Put yourself in IMDb's metric. All right. I'm going to say The Fifth Element. And? And Sin City. One of the...

Why does the audience know this? These are the people who are voting. Oh. No, you were correct with the fifth element. That was a really good poll. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, and then you went wrong on Sin City because they went with Armageddon. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, but you went wrong on Sin City

because they went with Armageddon. Oh, that's my bad. I should have gotten that. That's a dumb mainstream pile of shit. All right. No, you've got to get on the meteor and then blow it up, Mark. It makes perfect sense.

You're right. You're right. And then there's so many twists that happen. They're like, oh shit, we gotta get off this thing. And then a little while later, they're like, we better get out of here. Right. 20 years ago, I think that came out this summer.

Oh my God. People are still eating animal crackers. I'm on my second bottle of Tabasco. Right? You guys in AA together? Alright, it's time for, this one is tougher I think. I think we've got a tough one. Here we go. Mark has four, Shane has one.

Wings. Less said about the third person, the better. Jesse Joyce is like a maxi pad. Wings. All right, all right. I don't even get it. They have wings. He's in the wings.

Oh, he's still in the wings. Is it a maxi? Did I say that wrong? All right. Thank you. Just give us one that's not like Aviator and Wolf of Wall Street. Right. Just give us a, yeah.

Who would be in those two? Here we go. Could be Scorsese. In Living color. What? TV? Yes, it happened. Deal with it. May, may, may, Jim Carrey. Deal with it. Denver, yeah.

Jim Carrey. Whoa. Ballsy guess. Shane, you're back to zero points. Oh, shit. Damn. Here's the next title for the other two players. You're out this round, but I have a feeling you'll be back.

Oh, boy. Because the first two movies and the next one are the ones you just said a minute ago. Because the first two movies, the next one are the ones you just said a minute ago. No, in this round, it goes in Living Color, then Major Payne. Mark Norman. Who is it, Mark? Damon Wayans. That's correct.

And that brings you all the way to five points. So you are a winner. You did it. Who on the panel? Jesse, show off your skills. What other Damon Wayans movies do you think they named in the top four? Last Boy Scout? That's not it.

Nope. Didn't make his top four. I mean, when you hear what did, you're going to be like, I get it. Mo Money? Scary Movie? What? I don't know. It's all, it's whatever. make his top four i mean when you hear what did you're gonna be like i get it mo money scary movie what i don't know it's all this whatever i don't know how many of them are blank man is on there i don't i mean that's what i was joking around about is that blank man ranks over somehow over

last boy scout that's kind of funny oh we got a blank man fan all right let's have him ejected from the room fan all right let's have him ejected from the room i don't mind blank man i guess his character major pain is actually a pretty funny character yeah i don't mind that one and then they put in his for the fourth one they put in his tv uh his other tv show my wife and kids my wife so that got in there but let's so. So Mark's officially our winner, but do you guys want to do a couple more just for fun? Is this the only game you brought? This is it. You won, man.

But that's it? You did it. You usually have so many more games. Well, how many games can we have? You know, we've got a time situation. It's a ticking clock. Okay, sorry. You were so impressed with this couple in Texas doing this

that you brought it all the way to Los Angeles. Yes, I lifted it myself. Got it through airport security. And brought it to Los Angeles. How did you fit all these movies in your carry-on? But what about that game? You liked it so much. That game you have where you go down the line with the letters.

Yeah, he likes ABCD's nuts, because all you got to do is name a movie that begins with a letter. That's a killer game. I thought this would be like a group who would like a more challenging experience. We could play the telephone game, but we'll use the microphone, so it wouldn't work as well. Right. I'm fine with this.

My only gripe is this name switcheroo thing, because I'm so busy. I don't know if anybody else ever is having this brain problem, but I'm so focused on, oh, it's Bruce Willis, that I then have to go, I have to take a minute and go, what's my name? And then, you know what I'm saying? I have to fight the impulse to take a minute and go what's my name and then you know what i'm saying like i have to fight the impulse to just shout bruce willis i've known like all of these up to the

but i just can't say my own name in between i can't i can't throw that on top of this you'd be the guy who would lose jeopardy because he didn't say yeah what is exactly that's a dumb rule what is it you're like on a stupid rule because you're like on a permanent satellite delay like you're being interviewed on CNN and you're in another room in the same building but there's still that delay.

Resisting impulses. There's a tradition in these sorts of games like doing this instead of pointing. You have to resist the point. Although,

is that what? Yeah. Right. Yeah, fuck. That's how these things work, Jesse. But you do great on At Midnight when you're on there

and that's Yeah, because there's a buzzer. Right, but there's a technique to that. Yeah, but I don't have to fucking think of it. Can I just do this? Instead of having to say not Bruce Willis, Jesse. Let's do a round to see if that changes how you play.

Where you get to slap your leg. Okay, I got it. Mark says Mark and Shane says me. And I say Shane. I'm going to play along even though I know the answer. You'll see. I got a movie game too if you need another game.

Oh, that sounds fun. No, it's a pretty good game. You can bring it to other cities in your carry-on. Well, at least... I think we'd at least like to hear about it, but I don't know if we'll have time to play. All right, all right. Because I don't know how complicated your game is.

It's pretty simple. Okay, all right. It's probably so simple, I've already rejected it from lots of other people. Because people suggest games all the time. It's a classic at parties. But there's a punchline here. It's not even a game.

He's waiting. You're just setting up a punchline, and he won't let you give it. Oh, no, it's a real game.. But there's a punchline here. It's not even a game. He's waiting. You're just setting up a punchline, and he won't let you give it. Oh, no, it's a real game. I was being dead serious, but I appreciate that. Look how calm I am. Look at this. Look how fucking calm.

I'm ready to, I'm like Carlos the Jackal. There's that joke in Blazing Saddles where he goes, are you calm? And he goes, look at that. And then he goes, but I shoot with this hand. That's fun for the podcast listeners. Alright, here we go. That's a great joke.

The first movie. Schindler's List. Me. Here goes me. What the fuck? I mean, I get nothing. What do you think it is? I think it's Liam Neeson. No. No. Mark Norman! I still beat your hand!

You slow alcoholic. I'm gonna say... I'm still gonna say it, though. No, wait, I said it first! I just want to prove that I got the thing. I just can't... I'm not fast I'm still gonna say it though No wait I said it first Jesus I just wanna prove that I got the thing I just can't I'm not fast enough

to fucking throw a thing out but I got I have the answer I know what it is You'd be a terrible gunslinger I sure would

actually now that you Alright but I'll let you have the name Go ahead and say what the answer is It's Ray Fiennes No

Alright let me try now Okay Ben Kingsley That's correct Come on Go ahead and say what the answer is. It's Ray Fiennes. No. Ah! All right, let me try now. Okay. Ben Kingsley? That's correct. Ah! All right. Ben Kingsley.

I like this game. Well, it's just funny that, you know, I'm sure Shane's picked up on it. That's part of why he was complaining about how easy this game is, is that I'm just using people that we've already discussed pretty heavily this evening. But you guys are doing great. I'll say Gandhi for his top.

Let's do one more. Gandhi for his picks. One more person that we've discussed on the show already this evening. The first movie. Goodfellas. There he is. Jesse Zins. Joe P Jesse's in That's correct They fuck you

They fuck you with a hand slap My favorite One that I wrote down But we're not gonna do it Is For Robert Downey Jr. His IMDB is The Avengers is number one

And then Iron Man Iron Man 3 Iron Man 2. In that order? In that order. He's not happy about that, I'm sure. No, I bet you he doesn't like that, but it changes too.

They switch things around, so by the time people listen to this, they'll look it up and go, didn't say what you said it said, and then I go like this to my computer. He seems like a cool guy. Downey? Downey, yeah, he is. Actually, he's very funny.

He elevates the material, man. He takes something and just runs. And if you're diligent enough to just keep up with him, then you get a great movie out of it. That's really all there is to say. No, but I mean, he deserves an award and something for that role in Tropic Thunder. Yes.

Thunder, sorry. He's nominated for Best Supporting Actor. Is he nominated? He was for that movie. You know, the movie was a few years back. I know, but the Oscars nominated him? Yeah, they did nominate him. Oh, glad I got recognized,

because that was unreal. Yeah, no, he's quite good in that. Yeah. And he's very good in most things that he's in even when he was fucked up for a while He still you know pulled it together, but I'm glad it worked out for him. I'm glad he's doing what he's doing Yeah, I don't know him at all But he was my smoking buddy during the Oscars in 2012 because I wrote for them and I was stuck backstage And they just let you smoke wherever the fuck you want backstage you know smoke yeah so see you smoke next to him like I'm going over his lines you just won't smoke in his face well no we just had the same we had that we had the exact same sort of nicotine moment

trigger like where it's like I need a cigarette and then they're gonna say you both found gum under a chair yeah that's it that's not interesting it's like, oh, I need a cigarette. And then he would... I thought you were going to say you both found gum under a chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. That's not interesting. This is my only... I love those stories. But we're out of time. Fuck.

Because we have to find out about Mark's game idea. Ah, I think you're going to like it. I don't think I will. Well, you're in it. You've got to play. Okay. Let's hear what it is. It's an old drinking game.

Oh, no. So we'll go down the line. You say a movie. Right. Then you say an actor in that movie. Yes, it's been submitted hundreds of times. All right. All right.

And they play it on my friend Jimmy Pardo's show, Never Not Funny. So I guess I could call it Jimmy Pardo's and then give it a new name and then play it. But it is a fun game, but it also, you know, it's kind of easy. Well, hey, did you see the first round of this? There was a buzzer issue that was the problem here. You don't need a buzzer. But with any given movie, you should be able to name one person that was in it. True, but you get kind of

crazy. One movie that that person was in. You start throwing out crazy shit. Oh, yeah. Temptation of Christ. Somebody brings up Shawshank Redemption, I'm going to say Harry Whitmore. Everyone will be fucked because I don't even think that's that guy's name. James. James Whitmore. James Whitmore. I'm going to say

James Whitmore. And then when it comes back to me, it won't come back to me. I think that's that guy's name. James. James Whitmore. James Whitmore. I'm going to say James Whitmore. Yeah. And then when it comes back to me, it won't come back to me, though. But the next thing to say after James Whitmore is give him Hill Harry, because that's a movie where he was nominated for an Oscar, and it was a one-man show of him being Harry Truman. So if it's a one-man show, how do you continue the game? Aha. That's what I'm saying.

You would throw a block down and everyone would have to go home. There was one that we used to do in college, I don't know if this is a bit like, where it's the Kevin Bacon game, but like Ratchet, it's like a sort of all-star version of it where you think of a guy and I think of a guy and then at the same time we say the name of the guy and then you have to

connect those two, right? You understand what I mean by that so go ahead let's sleep just for just for the fuck of it think of it you got a guy yeah I got a guy all right say your guy we're gonna say our guy right okay ready go okay got four same time John Candy yeah okay so there now you have to connect Forrest Whitaker and John Candy, right? Like through the Kevin Bacon game rule, right? Like if this person was in that with this guy. But we both just start puzzling it. Whoever can puzzle it together.

Yeah, you just quietly stare at each other. It's terrible for radio. Yeah, I think so. Because what if one of us needs three titles to connect them and the other one only needs two? No, it's just whoever gets there first. Whoever's the first person to, yeah. Okay, who'd you say i said forrest whitaker i said john candy okay well of course they were they were co-stars and no no they weren't

another 48 hours i was so excited to maybe get them into something together because that would have been great. I didn't mean for you to actually sit here and work this out now. I thought we had to try it. Do you have it? Do you already have an answer? I don't have it right now. I can get you halfway there. Okay, so Forrest Whitaker was in The Crying Game with Stephen Ray.

Stephen Ray was in Speechless with Geena Davis and Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton was in some kinding Game with Stephen Ray. Stephen Ray was in Speechless with Geena Davis and Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton was in some kind of comedy that's going to bring you to John Candy. Oh, you're right. He's getting us there. Michael Keaton and John Candy together? I don't think that's happened. I can't think of one.

You can get them all in the same boat that way. You said Geena Davis? It's a good way to get this. Was she in Mr. Mom? No, he was Uncle Buck. Sort of the same movie. He was in Mr. Mom. I feel like you get out of...

It's a real fun game to listen to. No, look, you get out of John Candy through Macaulay Culkin, and then from there, he in home alone he was with tim curry and tim curry's been in a bunch of right that's the way out right yeah that could be a way to do it so much fucking rocky picture with susan sarandon who was in the delman louise with uh davis who with gina davis and then we go back that. Or have I just looped back around to the original thing? Oh, yeah. No, that did it. All right, all right.

I got a game that is quick and easy. Quick and easy game. We can knock it out in four seconds. But I'm going to need the audience's help. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Just one nerd. I need one Asian.

It's got to be Asian. Are you Asian? Aha! All right. All right. I think this is gonna get us I'm gonna throw out a number and then an actor and you have to name a bunch of movies

that actor's in to get up to that number and whoever gets the most wins I do not understand but let's try it. I'll say 25, and then I'll say an actor's name, and you just keep shouting them out. Everybody keeps shouting out. You can't repeat,

but you keep shouting out until we get to 25, and whoever has the most... But what does this have to do with the Asian gentleman? He's gonna keep track. Oh. Real quick, Jesse, what did you do with your name tag? I put it back here. Oh, can I have it, please? Thanks. Yeah, there you go. Oh, great. It's stuck to the...

That's gross. Does it have a thing on the back? Okay. Cool. He changed his mind. All right, let's start the game. You're actually going to do this? Wait, we're doing it?

I thought we were going to do it. All right, all right. We're going to have a counter. It's going to take four seconds. We've got somebody to count. It's a joke. Mark just wrote a racist joke and then worked's a joke. It's a punchline. Mark just wrote a racist joke and then worked backwards from there.

That's all this is. We don't actually have to play the game. He's got pen and pad. Look at that. He's Asian. All right. Here we go. You really got to be on this because we're going to just start fucking.

I'll be the mediator. You guys play. I still don't understand what we're doing. No. You can't keep track of three. Somebody's got to count. I'll get to 25're doing no you can't keep track of three somebody's got to count till

I'll get to 25 but you've got to keep track of who gets you know like so right right Doug oh only of the three of us like everybody's not playing

oh okay no no no no this changes every five fucking minutes no no no I'm going to say 25 and then I'll do this

so I'll tell you when we get to 25 but you've got to keep track of their movies they're naming like how many so tally it up baby who's going to say 25, and then I'll do this. So I'll tell you when we get to 25, but you've got to keep track of the movies they're naming, like how many. So tally it up, baby. Why are we naming movies? What?

What movies are we naming? I'm going to give you an actor, and you keep... That's like a game we play on this show already. We take turns saying the movies by one actor. But this is a speed round. Okay. What's your name? Lawrence. All right, we'll do it fast.

I hope it was more Asian. Is this how you want to go out? All right, Lawrence, you ready? Spaghetti? All right. So, I'm going to go 25. Tom Hanks, go! Oh, shit, splash.

So that's one for Doug. Oh, Saving Private Ryan, big. Come on! This is the volcano. Bachelor Party. Volunteers, Men with One Red Shoe. Philadelphia. Yes, yes.

Larry Crown. What are you doing? Volunteers. Dragnet. What else are you doing? You're at nine. Oh, Money Pit. Yeah. I'm sorry, 14, 15.

Are we only doing movies? Bonfire of the Vanities. Only movies. Bosom Buddies the movie. Bachelor Party. Come on, Shane. I don't know. I think he's made like one.

Haven't I won this thing? Castaway. I don't think so. Forrest Gump. We got that. Oh, we already got a Forrest Gump. All right. Well, what are the bombs?

Extremely loud and incredibly close. Nice. That's 20. I need five more. Oh, Lord. Boy, joints. Catch me if you can. Yeah.

Charlie Murphy's war. The terminal. Charlie Murphy? Charlie Wilson's war. There you go. Sorry Murphy? The Terminal. Charlie Wilson's War. There you go. Sorry, I went into the wrong bar. I think Shane fell asleep. Yeah.

How many more do we need to do? Tom Hanks is in no Shane Black movies. Two more, two more. Oh, fuck. Oh, oh, oh, The Lady Killers. Nice. And not the audience, because I could do this. The Terminal. Captain Phillips. Nice. Oh, what? Close it out. Goatee. What's the last one? Nice! And not the audience, because I could do this, the terminal.

Captain Phillips. Nice! Close it out, go team. Captain Phillips. Captain Phillips. What do you got there, Laurie? Who won? I got 16 out of the 25.

Pretty good, great, keep it track! Now that was a game! Alright, we'll call that the Mark Norman game. And we'll play it only when Mark is on. Because we need someone to conduct it and wave his hands around and yell at Asian people. It's like finding a werewolf. Yeah, it's got to be when Mark Norman is on and an Asian is present. Well, in his defense, he nailed it.

He really did. Wait, in his defense? Why are you defending him for being Asian? He needs to be defended for that. Well, it's not racist of his actor. Lest you think he didn't conform to the stereotype. He conformed is what I'm saying, yes. Oh, we did it, you guys. So now we've gone long.

Now we've gone over the time. Oh, sorry, sorry. It was so much fun, we had to do it. I can't implore you enough to see the nice guys. Yes. Shane Black. Was this all right for you? Did you have a good time?

Yeah, I love comedians. I used to live with comedians. I love listening to these guys. They're funny. Which ones did you live with? Ed Seuss. Ed Seuss. Ed Seuss. Ed Seuss. Ed Seuss. Ed Seuss. Did you have a good time? Yeah, I love comedians. I used to live with comedians.

I love listening to these guys. They're funny. Which ones did you live with? Ed Solomon. Do you remember Ed? Yeah, he sort of became more of a writer, right? Yeah, but he used to write for Gary Shandling. Shandling would come over all the time, yeah.

Another dead guy. Oh, Dave Couillet. Dave Couillet was a roommate of yours? Not a roommate, but he was a friend of ours. He'd be around a lot. We had a fucking busy apartment, all right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You're not on trial. This is all in the... This is back in the... I'm so fucking old. This was back when the Make Me Laugh was on television. Oh, yeah. Remember that? Wow.

The Mark Cohen version? Earlier. I'm just kidding. I mean, there was a Mark Cohen version, but you're talking like Bobby Van was the host. Yeah, I'm talking Bobby Van. I'm talking like Bruce Babyman Baum. Right.

He'd come out in his diaper, and the person would lose their shit. Appropriately. And you can tell by the resounding silence that these are largely young people here. No, you're definitely winning the old person contest. They know Coulier. You fucking know Coulier.

Everybody in the air knows. Cut it out. Yeah. But thank you, Shane, for doing this. I really appreciate it. Is there something else in the works, like a next thing you're doing? I know there's a new Predator

that you're going to be involved in. That's kind of the new thing, yeah. It's a reimagining for 2018 of the Predator. Bigger budget, better cast. No, not better, but, you know. Interesting characters. The first one was just a bunch of actors getting eaten. No, we just had to go play this time.

What? Yeah, hopefully they're interested. I don't know. It's a good little challenge, and it's not one I take lightly, because otherwise, why make another fucking Predator movie, you know? Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. That's the person in charge of each sequel

that gets to, they do too many of that one should step in and go there shouldn't be these unless it's like this. Yes. Unless we do it this way. Add Danny Glover. Mark watch him on Conan tonight and what else is going on?

Do you do Vancouver yet? That's this weekend. Here we go. Vancouver, you guys. I know you're looking at me now going, we're not in Vancouver, Doug. But for the listeners in the Vancouver area, please go check him out. Thank you. Especially if you're Asian, because he'll probably put you to work.

A lot of Yes. They need a railroad. A lot of Asians in Vancouver. So many. Yeah. It's really quite a lot actually.

So Jesse what do you got? And Mark Norman on Twitter at Mark Norman dot com. Mark Norman comedy dot com. Yeah.

Okay. Thank you. I'll be showing up here and there at midnight and then I'm in Edmonton. I'm just east of there. Oh okay.

Canada in June. And then Minneapolis later in the month. At Acme? No, the House of Comedy. The Mall of America one. Acme's having an issue with it might get closed because of somebody's building something where their parking lot is and then if there's no parking

it can't be open. So there's like if you look for it on the internet, if you like comedy and stand-up comics, try to sign the petition to keep those guys from developing around it. It's Acme Comedy in Minneapolis, where I'll be next month. So go to douglosmovies.com

for all my dates. One more time for all of my guests. What a terrific fun show with Jesse Joyce, Mark Norman, and Shane Black. And as always, whoever is currently unpopular is a shithead. And Kylo Ryan, what he used,

it's genius What he used to make his Kylo Ryan poster On the other side is his shithead The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Once again today's episode Is brought to you by Movement Watches These watches are sleek, stylish and affordable Go to MVMTwatches.com

slash Doug, and they'll give you 15% off your entire purchase. That's MVMTwatches.com slash D-O-U-G, Doug. That's me. That's me. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.