Doug Loves Movies - Shane Mauss, April Macie and Geoff Tate guest

Episode Date: July 2, 2015

Live from the Tempe Improv in Tempe, Arizona, Doug welcomes comedians Shane Mauss, April Macie and Geoff Tate to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everybody, this episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Start building your website today at squarespace.com. Enter offer code Doug at checkout to get 10% off. Squarespace, build it beautiful. Enjoy the show! Doug hates candy wrappers, green face, sticky seats with empty acid popper kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you once again from the beautiful, hot, hot, hot Tempe Improv in Tempe, Arizona!

It's Wednesday, July 1st, 2015. Let me see those name tags, Sun Devils. I knew there'd be some good ones and some big ones. This guy's just got like a Jason doll, but it's a fluffy Jason doll. It's like a pillow. Is your name Jason?

Your name is Pillow? You motherfucker. Zach and Mary make a porno. I saw that on Twitter today and you were like, our names are similar, so we have to do it. I don't even know what's going on in this poster. Santo versus La Mafia del Victor? Yes. And your name is Victor?

Yes. Good job, buddy. Something myself and Irene? Jeremy. Jeremy, myself, and Irene Jeremy myself and Irene poetic Jesus poetic justice your name is justice no way last name

your first name is justice holy shit what's your last name for all there's something about Mariana there you are Jason and Silent Doug strike back and you're Jason alright we gotta make that movie now

what's the Juno poster all about Junope? Because your name is... Michelle? So you're not Juno. Junope. Just on creativity alone, that should get a shot. I like this sexy Terminator over here.

That's pretty cool. Well, thank you to everybody for bringing name tags. And good luck. Good luck being chosen. Friday, I'm off to Denver, where I'm going to be doing a midnight screening of my new movie, Chronicon, episode 420, A New Dope. So see it with me at the Alamo Drafthouse in Littleton, or catch it on VOD or iTunes, also this Friday. Tuesday, July 7th, I'm doing stand-up at the Improv in Irvine, California. It's a lot like this place, but in California.

From the corrections department, The Gauntlet is not a Dirty Harry film, and Gene Hackman was not in Gardens of Stone. For anybody that cares. Just so you know I know. Pittsburgh, I'm doing stand-up and a Douglas movies the weekend of July 10th and 11th, out at the Improv in Homestead. And if you're in the L.A. area, on Monday, July 13th,

come to my annual uninterrupted screening of one of my favorites, a delightful little hockey film called Goon. Yeah. Douglovesmovies.com for all the links that you need. Oh, one more thing. I'm going to be doing stand-up

at the appropriately named Stand Up Live over there. Which direction is it? In Phoenix. That way? Phoenix, right over there, you guys. The club's like less than 10 miles away. I'm going to be there on August 20th, and tickets are on sale now. Let's look in the prize bag. I was just on at midnight on Monday, so of course I brought the bag that they give me,

Monday, so of course I brought the bag that they give me and I brought some D luscious cookies I bet you they still taste good after being in the cargo of a plane today Because they're individually wrapped I also brought some other snacks that were in my dressing room Got some nuts got some classic lays Some Schneider's pretzels. And, of course, a copy of my CD promotional tool. And my guests all brought cool gifts as well, so let's get them out there. Please give out here.

Is the entrance clear? Can they make it? out here. Is the entrance clear? Can they make it? I've never been like so anxious to move a wheelchair. Whose wheelchair is this? Move it!

Oh, probably you shouldn't move it, but somebody else. Please welcome Shane Moss, April Macy, and Jeff Tate. Let's talk first to first-timer, first-time guest, April Macy everybody she and I first met doing a little program called Last Comic Standing and now this very weekend she's

headlining here at the Tempe Improv. I am I cried in all my interviews that's how I got Last Comic Standing you obviously I cried in all my interviews. That's how I got Last Comic Standing. What? I cried in all my interviews. That's how I got picked. I just sort of did some soft weeping. Really?

Yeah. That's how you do it? All you got to do is cry, everybody, for reality TV, and they just love the shit out of you. I think there's other reasons to like you, but that's cool. Sweet tits on me. reasons to like you but that's cool sweet tits on me the first time i ever saw you you were wearing like a cocktail dress and uh yeah that's also how to get reality tv everybody it's some side tit and some crying yeah so and uh how do you like the weather so far that you just got here? Oh, how do I like it? It's hot as shit.

It's absolutely ridiculous. But it's nice indoors. Indoors is fine, but outside, my asshole is a mess. Just gamey, real gamey. That is no way to refer to your ex-boyfriend who is on this stage right now. Give it up, everybody, for Shane Moss is here. Frequent guest on the show. Also a panelist on Getting Doug with High.

And you've gotten on that high with me a few times on that show. Yeah, we did a one-on-one. We had a one-on-one? Yeah, yeah. That's rare these days. I don't remember it very well either. Yeah. But then when you left, we gave you some vapor pens.

Yeah. And then when you were in an accident and broke both of your legs... I got really high. I got really high. I got so high. There's like a medical professional at the Getting High with Doug. Like, what do you call that person? Oh, we have a... There's like a...

EMT. Yeah, yeah. There's an EMT there. I didn't know if he was an official EMT. I guess he is. There's an official EMT. I got so high for the first time in my life that I had to like sit down and just sweat it out for two hours with an EMT looking over me for weed. Just for weed.

And then I must have dropped the vape pens in my car. Then I went for a hike a couple days later in Sedona, which is where aspiring warlocks go to live. And then I broke both of my feet. I jumped off of a cliff. I broke both of my heels. I jumped off of a cliff. I broke both of my heels. That's why I have a cane. It's good.

Like, I can walk without a cane. It's just like my limp. Show it. Show how you walk. Very good. Thanks, yeah. No, thank you, guys. My limp is significant.

Are you guys really applauding that he can walk? Yeah. He might be making this whole thing up. Yeah, yeah. No, it's just my limp is significant enough that people will be like, you might want to see a doctor for that. So the cane's like, oh, he knows. But then I got down to the bottom,

and I had nothing for pain the whole time I had to crawl down a mountain for like three hours with two broken feet and then I got in my car and I saw a vape pen under my seat like and then I smoked the shit out of that thing

and it saved me weed saved my life everybody really good the shit out of that thing and it saved me. It saved, we'd saved my life, everybody. Yeah, really good. Then it was like, it was like four days later, you're like,

oh shit, my feet still hurt. I should probably go to a doctor now. Yeah, weed doesn't repair your bones. Well, we broke up before that.

I'm not an asshole. We broke up with him because... She got out just in time. We broke up like two months before. Right under the wire. And then I was like, I was a single guy taking too many chances with my life. Take me back, April.

I broke both of my feet. Super sexy move. And now I'm just a cripple who... I'm featuring for April it's like Sonny and Cher getting back together you're performing on all the shows this weekend? oh my god

calm down to the Tempe improv you guys give him a hard time for performing opening for his ex I'm riding my ex girlfriend's coattails to the middle. Oh, and they're not even at the middle yet. Shit.

You have to write on something. Your fucking feet don't work. Jeff, be quiet. Be quiet. I'm trying to introduce you, Jeff. Jeff Tate is here, everybody. Woo! Hello.

Hi, everybody. Hello. Hi, everybody. Host of the Afternoon Everybody podcast. Yeah. And it's all about cheers. It's all about cheers and cheers-related ideas like beer and stuff. And what did you bring for the prize bag? I brought both my albums right here. I Got Potential and Just Another Clown.

There you go. Thank you. Got the same applause that him walking got. Oh, I also walked. Oh! Yeah? Double trouble. Yeah, I know.

And a shirt that says denim on denim. It's like a good style choice. I love how you always just throw it away. It says denim on denim. That's what the shirt says. Enjoy it. Yeah, you should wear it and then also put a fucking jacket on it

and some jeans just do the whole denim on denim thing be cool keep the sun off you because this place is not livable uh it's real uh and if you don't win the prize back you can buy the albums i'll be out front selling albums after oh okay yeah more go say say hi to Jeff in the lobs after. Shane, what did you bring? I brought, this is actually, April made me bring this because I went to pick her up.

He still listens to me. That's fun. To, I still had some crap at our old place. A lot of crap. So I brought, well, April will probably explain this better than me, but for a while I had a big fancy merch idea, which was to sell man candles after a show. And these are, it looks like a beer.

It looks like a beer, but it's a candle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a joke about man candles that was like, I told it like twice, I think. And the first time it did so well, I was like, I'm going to buy a bunch of man candles to sell after. Because this is going to be like my trademark. Do you think that would have sold better if you called them mandels? Yeah, mandels. Yeah, mandals. And I was going to ask, is this the man candle handle?

Meanwhile, it's glass, and it's like the heaviest thing to transport. It's so heavy. It's so stupid. I didn't put a lot of thought into it. When he first bought them, first of all, he gets like real overenthusiastic. He just backs up like a Mack truck just filled with merch before he tests that shit out. When he first bought them, first of all, he gets real overenthusiastic. He just backs up a Mack truck just filled with merch before he tests that shit out. The joke wasn't even good.

No, it was a real mediocre joke. The joke was about a Yankee candle sold man candles, and it was like imagining a dude that is whipped by his his wife that like went to a candle store and was like well what about what I want to smell terrible joke and but sometimes as comics you think of a joke and you think

it's like the best thing ever and normally you test it out a little while before you you just went right into production on man candles. Thousands of man candles. Back them up. There's like a truck that just backs up with man candles. Yeah, I really did purchase...

So you brought like a box of like ten of them or something? There's at least ten in there, I would say. I don't think that's a good prize to make somebody carry a box of man candles out here. Definitely not. Hey, if you think that's bad. You can give them away to people. And watch out. Some of them might be broken. It's glass. It's glass. They're a real pain to ship. I had a lot of thought went into it. I'm a little manic depressive. Usually I'm safe in the depressive area and don't act a lot on that

and then sometimes the mania takes over and man candles happen don't forget to mention that they're also covered in whatever you were drinking earlier you spilled that all over the box oh yeah he did I was trying to bring my drink and man candle on a cane

I gently wiped it down with a rag I was trying to bring my drink and man candle on a cane. I gently wiped it down with a rag like a good lady should. So that's what I did. Just for you guys. So how about if we give... How many CDs do you have to sell, Jeff? Do you have a lot of them? I got some, yeah. Why don't we give a man candle to the first ten people

that buy a CD from Jeff after the show? Yeah. You know, we'll put one in the prize bag for that lucky son of a bitch. Wait, I've got a whole other box of them, right? Wait a second. That's what you brought for the prize bag? Another box of man candles?

Yes, I need to get them out of my shed. First off, April didn't want to bring her merch because it's a top seller. I know man candles sound kind of stupid. April's a little more sophisticated. I sold nut powder for a little while.

Is my mic cutting out from here? No, it's fine. You're here? I think I got it. No, it's fine. No, you're good. You're good. I think it's just quality control. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Understandable. April sold for a long time,

and I believe still does once in a while. Ball powder, everybody. It was... Original, extra strength, old and big. Little bottles of talcum powder wrapped in a picture of her and lingerie, which is what my man candles are missing, is me and lingerie.

It's a good seller. And... Are you guys just airing grievances now? Yeah. Things didn't end well. And another thing... Welcome to Doug's divorce court listen I like cereal but she's like

an oatmeal broad god damn it two fucking years I need oatmeal so there's 40 boxes of oatmeal in the prize bag alright so the winner of the prize bag tonight I'm gonna keep this candle but the winner of the prize bag tonight, I'm going to keep this candle. But the winner of the prize bag is going to get a whole box of them

that you'll have to carry out of here. You're going to give them away to people. And Jeff has a box full to give you if you buy his CDs. And whoever wins has to spend Thanksgiving with her goddamn parents. Always fucking one thing after another. Stan and Karen are a lot of fun, everybody. Stan and Karen are a lot of fun. I always like to ask all the panelists if they've been to the movies lately

or just seen one on DVD or Netflix or something. We'll start with Jeff down there. The last movie I saw was The Expendables 2, but here's why. You better have a reason. I do. I did Get in Doug with High a couple of days ago, and I got a vape pen after,

and my dad's back is super fucked up, and they just make him take oxycodone, so I got him a vape pen, and then he smoked it and got it to work. And he's 75, and he's a minister and we got stoned as shit and watched the expendables 2 on tv and he don't even like movies the last movie he liked was paul blart maublar 2 and then we watched the expendables 2 and just laughed for fucking two hours. People are dying. There's commercials. We don't even care. It was the

best fucking, it was one of the top five nights of my life where I got stoned with this crazy old man who's finally fucking loosened up enough to be like, yeah, let's watch this. Then we watched four episodes of Coach. It was a solid day. So The Expendables 2 is my new favorite movie. I don't remember what happens in it, but God damn it.

If you could go back and watch it with me last Thursday, you'd like it too. Well, good for you and your dad. I'm glad his back is better temporarily. It's a honey bear vape pen. Might as well give them a plug. Yeah, but you should say the name properly. It's Honey Farm. Honey Farm.

Not Honey Bear. Well, if a company that sells vape pens gets upset that a stoner got it kind of right... They should just get used to that. Ha ha! They should just get used to that. They probably, I mean, you could probably Google. There's no reason even, they shouldn't even have a name. Why bother? They could Google everything that's close and get to it. Like, if you don't have it so that it's, you're just near it, you get it.

Whatever. What about you, April? Have you seen any movies lately? I watch all of my movies on cross-country flights. I just watched Still Alice, which there's nothing funny about that. Just real sad. If you just want to get real sad with Julianna Moore. I saw it, but I don't remember what happened.

What's it about? She doesn't remember either. It's a bummer. It's a real bummer. It's well done,. It's a bummer. It's a real bummer. It's well done, but it's a bummer. If you want to cry and then get a reality show, that's the movie to watch. And then I watched the movie with Bradley Cooper,

the Sniper Sniper movie. Yes, that's what it was called. Sniper Sniper. It was a rom-com about a sniper. Silver Linings Playbook. And then I watched... That was a fantastic film. And then I watched Big Eyes,

the movie about Margaret Keane, the painter, which I really enjoyed the movie, and the Big Eyes paintings. Very soulful. I thought that movie was about Christina Ricci. That's hilarious. And correct. No, that's...

It stars Amy Adams, and the less said about that, the better. What about you, Shane? The last movie I saw in a theater, maybe even the last movie in general, is Mad Max. I saw that in Vegas in May. Overrated, everybody.

Furious Rogue. Hair overrated. I think the last time I saw something that got that good of a Rotten Tomatoes score in a theater, it was like 12 Years a Slave, I think, got the same score as Mad Max, which is a mindless action film that's just done in a very artful way. I enjoyed the film. It's just that I was in Vegas.

It was my brother's first time in Vegas, and I peaked a little early because we went to Duck Dynasty, the musical, the night before and it was the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life. It doesn't exist anymore, by the way. It was only in production for about a month.

About the biggest flop in Vegas history. But it was the hardest I've ever laughed for an hour and a half. You don't go to Vegas to see the types of people that are in Duck Dynasty. You go to Vegas to get away from those people. Yeah, I like that. I mean, like, I like that they, like, drew.

There's not a lot of guys with long beards at the pool at Caesars. No, no. That's what I'm trying to say. Could you not get tickets to Pawn Stars, the musical? No. Was that full? I saw the poster for it, and I texted my brother for a joke, but my brother's nine years younger than me,

and he has the same sensibilities that I do, and he's like, oh, yeah, we're going to that. And then we looked it up, found out that it had only been open for a month, was closing two days later, and we're like, we're definitely going. And we saw articles about it that was like, it was like the directors just were quoted

in, like, newspaper articles just being like, oh, we missed the mark. You have to understand, like, the Venn diagram of people that watch, that like both Duck Dynasty and musicals, is like such a sliver. The curtain opens. This is in Penn and Teller's stage.

This is a successful showroom when Duck Dynasty isn't there. And there was like 40 of us in a 700-seat theater. And the curtains open, and there's like a 15-piece orchestra and these like Juilliard-trained actors like, food, faith, and family. And there's like another song. There's like a love song like, you and your camouflage, me and my camouflage.

There was, that was a love song. This is all real. There was a point. You know, you know how the old guy got in trouble for the homophobic stuff? You could be making it up, though. No, no, no. I promise you. The old guy got in trouble for the homophobic stuff, right?

That was in the musical. got in trouble for the homophobic stuff, right? That was in the musical. There was like an evil reporter who misquotes him and then he launches into a song. I love everyone equally. I'm just doing what the Bible tells me to do. That's when my brother gave an involuntary standing ovation and then caught himself and looked around and everyone else

is just arms crossed and grumpy. Like we didn't ruin it. Like they knew when the curtains opened it was a piece of shit. It's just that my brother and I were the only ones that knew it was going to be before the curtains opened. Are you making an album Shane? Yes.

It's the best thing. I think the point of your story is you don't know what the fuck you're doing in Las Vegas. You saw a musical and a movie in Las Vegas? It's amazing we're not together anymore. It's very surprising. With all that, that was fantastic.

Fuck, I should have bought the beard that I brought as a souvenir. That's why I should have given it away instead of a man candle. Now that I think as a souvenir. That's why I should have given away instead of a man candle. Now that I think about it. Wait. Were the tickets all sold out for hoarders

and adult review? The honey boo boo burlesque hour? By the way, I spent $60 a ticket on that. Those were the cheap seats. My 600 pound life, a review.

What was the last movie I saw? I saw... What the fuck was it? Oh, The Overnight. The Overnight. And I recommend it if you want to see Jason Schwartzman jump up and down while wearing a prosthetic cock. Really? If that intrigued you, then definitely go.

If that made you go, ah, then probably not for you. What's that? We saw Dope a couple days ago. I don't know. It's great. Just go watch it. That's all I have to say. Yeah, Dope's really ago. I don't know. It's great. Just go watch it. That's all I have to say. It's fun.

Yeah, Dope's really fun. Dope, yeah. It's good stuff. All right, you guys. This is the part of the show where I say, let the games begin. Yeah. People brought lots of awesome name tags, and I'd like each of you on stage to just put your mic down and hobble over there and pick a name tag that you'd like to play for. And make sure you look them all over, and don't leave out the folks in the back.

And then... That one's just a doll. Is that a name tag? Yeah, it's just a doll. I'm going to go with the doll. You're a creative man. Oh, she likes the doll. All right.

And while the other fellas make their choices, we're going to take a commercial break. We'll be right back. Once again, this episode is brought to you by our friends at Squarespace. Building a website can be tough, and even if you know your way around coding, creating something that looks good and works well is a time-consuming affair. Who wants to have one of those? If you're going to have an affair, make it short and sexy. Whether it's for a business site, a portfolio, a restaurant, or whatever else, in this day and age, you probably need one anyway. Well, lucky for us, Squarespace makes it easy to build beautiful websites without breaking a sweat. Squarespace provides simple, powerful, and beautiful websites that look Thank you. to ensure security and stability. And you know you can trust in Squarespace for your website needs

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Who are you playing for, Jeff? I'm playing for Jenny. She made a boat. Oh, I saw that on the internet, on Twitter. Yeah, I've seen boats on the internet before. And it's Forrest Gump and Captain Dan on a boat. Yeah. Made out of Legos.

It's great. I got it in honor of Shane, since his legs don't work either. Seriously, man? No, I just thought of it. Whoever's in charge of the house lights, they don't need to be on anymore. Wow, that was fast. Good. April, who are you playing for?

I'm playing for the gentleman with the doll, but I really want the dude with the donuts. Oh my God, why does everybody have donuts? It's a thing that people bring donuts because then we chuck them back at the crowd. That is the best thing I've ever heard. But not in a fancy club like this. We don't do that sort of thing. I don't have the paper, but I have the dude with the doll. We could probably throw those donuts in the parking lot if you guys want later.

Yeah, let's have a parking lot donut toss after the show. I have Jason. I like the individually wrapped ones. Throw me one of the individually wrapped ones. Because that you can just throw into the crowd and it won't make a mess. It's a good job. Oh, that was so dumb. I kept thinking, is it funnier to just not catch any of them? Just keep dropping everyone?

Okay, so you're playing for a guy that brought a Jason doll, but his name isn't Jason. Oh, it is Jason. Okay, his name is Jason. Okay, and then what do you have, Shane? I picked a bad one. Sean Shane. What? They didn't put a lot of work into it. But it's Zach and Mary make a porno. It was big, and it said porno on it, and I'm an idiot.

Like, all these people put so many hours of work into their projects, and then I picked this thing that took them three seconds to make. I feel a little stupid about it now, but congratulations, guys. And I don't mean to, I mean, it's nice. It's done well. Some solid stenciling on that. Yeah, it's good stenciling. It's a trip to... I mean, it's nice. It's done well. Some solid stenciling on that. Yeah, it's good stenciling. It's a trip to Michael's.

This camera's amazing. Well, thank you to everybody for bringing name tags, and congratulations to the three people who were chosen. At the very least, I will say you're a shithead at the end of the show, but at the most, you will win more candles shaped like glasses of beer than you ever would want in your entire life. Pretty sure there's a couple more boxes in the car

afterwards. And then I have a shed full of them. If anyone leaves without a beer candle, let me know. Hey, Father's Day's coming up. You're a bad son. What did you just say? You said Father's Day.

It's always coming up if you are really bad with months and years. It just happened, Jeff. Father's Day. Time isn't linear. Yeah. It's always Father's Day when you show up with a vape pen and Expendables 2 is on. Yeah. Right? I'm going to take one of these to my dad

and see how many times he tries to take a drink. I bet you it's more than once. I bet you it's more than once, yeah. It's super realistic except for the wick. The John wick.

And it doesn't smell like beer. There were candles, so I could either get ones that looked like beer or I could get regular candles that smelled like beer. But to get both was so incredibly difficult. I did a lot of research. Like, I found a guy in Michigan that could do do both and they were so expensive and i was like i don't care how long how fast can you get them to me and he's like how many do you need i'm like well let's start with like a hundred no he took a picture that he sent to me that was like 40 he

was really he really thought he was just going to move a fuck ton that weekend. I had boxes not sent to the home. He had them all sent to the comedy club, and they were stacked behind him, just one after another of band candles. Like I'm going to be selling 200 of these a week. That's what I was thinking in my mind. I apologize for mentioning it again. I didn't know we were going to do another 20 minutes on it.

How do you know? I had one thing I wanted to say about it. Didn't get that out. Let's start the game so that we can actually play a few of them. We're going to start with cluster flicks or if anyone

yells out Amy Adams or any other bullshit from the audience, they will be asked to leave. The name of this game keeps getting longer and longer. I'm going to name three movies, and the first person on the panel who can name what actor or actress was in all three of these films that I'm thinking of, you will get to go first in the next game. If after these first three titles nobody gets it, I'll keep adding titles until somebody does. I think this one's going to go quick, so be ready.

Who was in Scavenger Hunt, The Villain, and Around the World in 80 Days? I haven't seen any of those movies. It's not as fast as you thought. Gene Wilder. Let me ask you this real quick, Shane. Are there

some movies you've never seen that you know who's in the movie? There's some. I mean, I didn't know I was being a dick by not watching those movies. I have seen all three of those movies though, and I haven't seen this next one. Hercules in New York. Jack Palance.

No. Collateral Damage. Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's correct. Oh, all right. Nice. Wow. Like how many Arnold Schwarzenegger movies

can you say before it tips it because he's the star of most of his films I thought I would have seen every one he's done yeah it was around the world in 80 days remake he had like a cameo in that and the villain and scavenger hunt were very early in his career and then I was going to say

The Expendables, Stay Hungry, The Sixth Day Conan the Destroyer by the time you get to Conan you're going to say The Expendables, Stay Hungry, The Sixth Day, Conan the Destroyer. By the time you get to Conan, you're going to know what it is. So Jeff is the winner of our first game. Now we're going to play a new game that I'm very excited about. Jeff gets to go first. It's called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? I'm going to say a tagline from a motion picture. It's usually like something

that was either on the poster or in the ads or something, and it's listed on IMDB. So it's according to them. And Jeff will tell me the name of this movie. If he fails, we'll move on to April, and she can take a

shot at it. Jeff, what movie had the tagline, a comedy beyond belief? A comedy beyond belief. Faith. It wasn't really much of a comedy, but it was beyond belief. Right. Like I couldn't believe they thought it was a comedy. All right. That's incorrect. April, do you have any idea? Are there any more hints or must I just guess? That's it. So you just have to name a comedy that's beyond belief. I'm going to say The Wedding Singer. I found that movie fairly believable. She just thought of a comedy.

That's all I had. That'd be a fun tagline for a movie of a comedy. That's all I had. That'd be a fun tagline for a movie. A comedy. Do you have a guess, Shane? In my mind, I'm thinking, is that Robin Williams' one, Jumanji? Is that the name of that? That's the name of a film. Is that your answer? answer yeah that's my answer

incorrect I thought I'd you know start with some local flavor that was the tagline for Raising Arizona like the Coen brothers could have had nothing to do with that that was the shittiest tagline for that movie I thought it would have something to do with like

belief and imagination or something. No, just this comedy is crazy. Bruce Almighty. That wasn't another tagline. I was just saying. It should have been

a lot of people are going to like this movie, but Shane Moss' parents are going to think it's weird and hate it. Should have been the tagline. How would they have known to put that on the poster? Market research, my friend. I was just hoping you were going to bust into some more

Duck Dynasty song and dance numbers. Really thought that would happen. I got more. I know more I know alright since nobody got that we start back with Jeff and this next tagline at the edge of the world

his journey begins at the edge of the world his journey begins and it's not the story of the guy who replaced Steve Perry in Journey. Is that his name, Steve Perry?

Okay. What dreams may come? I liked how I had to look at it. Nope. April, what do you think would be a movie that you'd say, at the edge of the world, his journey begins? I believe it might have something to do with astronomy. Is it a Bruce Willis movie?

Armageddon. You didn't even give me a chance to answer if it was a Bruce Willis movie. I should probably point out that in the three years April and I were together, we didn't watch that many movies. We were mostly hatching merch plans. Yeah, you weren't even running those jokes again. I'm going to guess Cast Away. That's correct.

That's correct. That's correct. I thought I was cast away. Son of a bitch. Oh, yeah, you did. You sure did. I did, but I couldn't remember the name of the movie. I just know he had a ball.

That was, wow, that was really, that's a nice pull. How did you figure that out? At first I was thinking about that Will Smith one with his son that I didn't see. Hitch. And then... What was it again? At the edge of the world, his journey begins. Hitch.

Oh, you were, the one with his son was After Earth. And Pursuit of Happiness. And Pursuit of Happiness also had his son. You know, you don't have to. That wasn't Edge of the World stuff, though. That wasn't the one he meant. Yeah. Bad boys.

He meant the title that was spelled correctly. Because that happiness movie is spelled wrong. Because it's from the point of view of a child. Will Smith's dumb child. At least he's happy. All right, so Shane... When is that kid going to catch a break, by the way? He hasn't.

He was in a shitty movie with his dad that nobody liked, so he still needs to catch a break. Hopefully it pans out for him. Yeah, we'll see. I didn't mind that karate kid that he did. He never did any karate the entire film, but I didn't mind it. Is it karate in any of the movies?

What? It's more like jujitsu, isn't it? What do you mean? That's karate? That moves karate? It looks like karate. What's it called? I think it's the American version of the word karate, which is any sort of ninja shit. That's what they should have called it, the any sort of ninja shit. That's what they should have called it.

The any sort of ninja shit kid. Yeah. I would have seen it. Now that's bothering me. What's that move called? The crane. The crane kick. Yeah, the crane kick.

You got cast away but you can't remember crane. Crane kick? When you're standing like a crane. I have a racist uncle that loves karate. It's always the only people that like karate

are racist. It's true. You should tell him about that fucking musical. It's close, buddy. Maybe it moved to Branson or something. I think it'd do well there. Okay, so Shane won that game. Congratulations.

Congratulations. I would enjoy another vodka soda, if that's anyone from the club. I'll take one as well. That sounds nice. I would enjoy another vodka soda if that's anyone from the club. I'll take one as well. That sounds nice. By the way, since you guys are wondering, the encore of Duck Dynasty the musical. No. No one was wondering.

Come out. No one was wondering. It's getting real uncomfortable right now for everybody. Mostly me. No one wants to know? All right, well, tweet at me. I'll tell you. That's Shane Comedy. So three vodka sodas and a beer that's really a candle?

Can we just get four drinks up here? Can I get a beer that's actually just a candle? So you do want to drink or you don't want to drink? I'd really like to move this along. No, I don't need it. Yes or no? No. No, okay.

Three vodka sodas. Soda? You good with soda? Yeah. Perfect. Three vodka sodas. Tito's if you have it. Kettle if you don't.

I don't think anybody's listening to me. We'll see if it happens. Well, let's move on to the next game. It's called Last Man Stanton. Yeah, the donuts are going to come in hot. I'm not going to warn you. I hope I don't accidentally throw a mandel at you. That would be violent.

They're so fucking heavy, you guys. I'm going to risk breaking this one just for the laugh. That's how heavy those fucking things are. Perfect to transport around the country. They only break each other in a box. They just fight each other to death? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you around the country. They only break each other in a box. They just fight each other to death? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you open the box

that you've shipped and it's just broken glass and gel candle that you have to pull out and then reorganize them. It was a bad decision looking back at it. Well, it's going to be

somebody else's burden after tonight because they're going to be somebody else's burden after tonight because they're going to get a whole box full of them. Last Man Stanton is a game where everybody on stage, including myself, take turns naming movies from an actor or actress suggested by someone in the crowd. As always, I got lots of tweets from nice people suggesting that they had the perfect name for this game,

and whenever somebody says that, they usually follow it up with Maria Conchita Alonso so I want to be clear that or Henry Fonda you know somebody that's been dead for 20 or 30 years so you know it's it's not easy to come up with the perfect name and the panel is gonna get to decide whether or not to reject the name that I pick from somebody in the audience. But this guy right here seemed like he had a good name, and he also supplied all those donuts. So, Jason? Meg Ryan. Meg Ryan.

I think that's a keeper. Yeah. All right, we're doing it. Meg Ryan, you guys. You know what? You don't need to high- we're doing it. Meg Ryan, you guys. You know what? You don't need to high-five people over it. All right, so we'll start with Shane, and then we'll go to April, and then then to Jeff and then I'll step in.

And the films of Meg Ryan, if you can't think of one, you're out. You've Got Mail. And you're opening with You've Got Mail. When Harry Met Sally. Slow down. Oh, shit. I got so excited. It was the only thing I knew.

I have to say You've Got Mail is correct first. Because I always thought that was funny because in the movie... Oh, look at this. The drinks are here. Yay! I mean, you guys kind of did just get mail.

Booze mail. Like, you got delivered. What? Never mind. I'm sorry he keeps interrupting. All right, April, what was yours? When Harry met Sally. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. That was all I had. Jeff? Sleepless in Seattle. Yes. I'm glad we knocked out those three right away. Now we can get down to some serious fucking Meg Ryan movies. I'm going to go with

The Doors. Shane? I'm stuck on one that's the biggest classic and if I give the clue then it will give it away to everybody else. What are you talking about? Crap.

Those are some... When Harry met Sally in Sleepless in Seattle, they're probably the big two right there. I can't... I don't think she's had anything bigger than those two. But maybe. You just don't have one. A real salient scene.

I guess I'm out. I guess I'm out. I can't believe that. You were just so full of shit right there. That was like a big lie that you were just, I have got the best one. It was a scene with a... Oh, I just thought of a great one. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I got one. It was a scene with our kid. Don't describe it. Can he just be out already? Yeah, you're just out. Thanks for playing. When a man loves just be out already? Yeah. You're just out. Thanks for playing. When a man loves a woman. Huh?

Yeah. Right? When a man loves a woman. Yes. With Andy Garcia, the drunk thing. Yes. Perfect. Very good.

Jeff? Joe versus the volcano. Yes. Probably my favorite of her films. She plays three parts in it. All of them are pretty cute. I'm going to go with a motion picture called IQ. Oh.

Starring the late Walter Matthau as an Einstein looking guy. Or was he supposed to be Einstein? Yeah. Okay. And she was like his daughter and she's just trying to get some dick

and he was like in her face about how smart he was. April? Philadelphia. She wasn't in that, but that was... I didn't have anything else, so... You might have believed she was in a fun... I was really thinking about that for a second.

What was she in Philadelphia? You were with me for a second. People got quiet, and you're like, all right, AIDS tale, move on. Just move on. Because Philadelphia really needs a cute, perky girl in it. It's exactly what it needed. Just a fun-loving lady that really jazzed up those AIDS scenes. All right, so April's out.

So it's clear April and Shane just watched all their movies together. For three years. And a lot of orangutan programming. Yeah, we watched a lot of monkey programming. Jeff, what else you got? Proof of Life. Proof of Life with Russell Crowe. Yeah.

I'm going to go with... How about... How about In the Cut with Mark Ruffalo? Alright. Addicted to Love with Matthew Broderick. Oh! Here's maybe one of the most successful movies she was in that we didn't manage to get

so far. Top Gun. Try Philadelphia. Or maybe Philadelphia 2. Is it Philadelphia 2? There is not one. Never. They should make one though. God damn it.

You said Top Gun and it knocked the one that was in my brain out. So I'm going to say Get it back. The Mean Season. What's that? With Kurt Russell. He's a newspaper reporter.

She was in that? That got a creepy yeah from the corner. All right. Well, in that case, I'm just going to have to say Innerspace. Oh. Flash and Bone. What? Flash and Bone.

It's another Dennis Quaid, Meg Ryan vehicle. You said in the parking lot he didn't know anything, but it seems like he knows a lot. No, I didn't know who Daniel Day-Lewis was. Okay, all right. If Meg Ryan was in a Daniel Day-Lewis movie, he would not come up with it. But fortunately, she was in a lot of Meg Ryan movies. And he knows those. I've seen them. They're about 90 minutes.

And they're not hard to get through. I'm going to go with The Women. The what? The Women. Yeah, it was a movie where every person in the cast was a woman, and it was an awful piece of shit.

I can't believe they let that slide. I'm going to go with Hanging Up. Hang Up with Lisa Kudrow and Diane Keaton? Yeah. I never heard of it. Wasn't Walter Matthau in that one too? I think he might have been. He might have been following Meg Ryan around.

Trying to convince her he's Einstein. Just hanging out. I had that knocked one out thing. One title got knocked out of my head. Yeah? Yeah. That sucks. Do you have another one?

Yes, I do. You do? Uh-huh. Shit. Now I sucks. Do you have another one? Yes, I do. You do? Uh-huh. Shit. Now I gotta come up with another one. Before I... You still didn't think

of the one that I was thinking of. Really? We're missing a big one that you were thinking of? Yeah, and that's... I'm gonna be

super embarrassed right now if I'm thinking of someone else. Don't say anything. Don't say it. All right. Wait till at the end. I hope you'm thinking of someone else. Don't say anything. Don't say it. Wait till at the end. I hope you're thinking of somebody else.

Which might be any second now because I think I'm in big trouble right now. Trying to think of an obscure one or a fucking early one. Top Gun. Top Gun.

Inner Space. Fucking early one. Top Gun. Oh, Interspace. Fuck. DOA! She was in two with Dennis Quaid and that was the other one, DOA. Fuck. But also Interspace. Yeah, Interspace and DOA. And Flesh and Bone.

Was Dennis Quaid in that? Yeah. Oh, okay. Alright, so I have to come up with one more? Yeah. Oh, Anastasia. Anastasia. All right.

I know there's more people out in the audience. They have ones that they've thought of. I know there's more people out in the audience. They have ones that they've thought of. There was one where she had cancer and she's walking around with a bandana on all the time, but I can't remember what that's called. Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl. Oh, fuck. Oh, man.

So hard. And when I say that, I mean, macaque! I get hard thinking about Meg Ryan vehicles. Cars she's driven. What was the last thing she was in? She hasn't been in much lately. Do you have another one, Jeff? No.

I think you win because I think I'm out. Okay. I think I have to give up. Yay! All right, Shane first. What was the one? Do you think you know it now? Maybe I'm an idiot, because I haven't actually seen the film,

but there's just a classic scene of someone getting raped on a ping pong. Oh, yeah, she's not in The Ac the accused. She's not in the accused. That's Jodie Foster. That was Jodie Foster? Oh, that's... That's what I was thinking of. Was she in the one where her husband gets killed and then she goes off?

Oh, City of Angels. With Nicolas Cage. I was mixing those two up. I like that your brain vacillates between Duck Dynasty and ping pong rape. with Nicolas Cage. I was mixing those two up. I couldn't remember which was which. I like that your brain vacillates between Duck Dynasty and ping pong rape. That was pinball, not ping pong, so I was way off in many regards.

I apologize to everybody. It's good to know. All right, audience, tell us what we missed. French fucking kiss is the one I thought of and then forgot. Prelude to a Kiss. That's a good one.

In the Land of Women was the one where she had cancer and a bandana on. Private Benjamin. Hurley Burley. Hurley Burley was great and no one knows it good answer it was a good movie

Kevin Spacey and Sean Penn it was fun it was a fun movie Kate and Leopold with Hugh Jackman that's a good one Against the Ropes the boxing thing where she was unbelievable as a boxing coach

didn't buy it for a second Against the Ropes, the boxing thing where she was unbelievable as a boxing coach. Didn't buy it for a second. Courage Under Fire with the young Matt Damon. Good one. And Denzel, right? Yeah. Good job, everybody. I think we named every Meg Ryan movie. There might be a couple more animated things

that she lended her voice to that I don't remember. But that was a pretty good one. Thanks, Jason. That one just landed on the ground, didn't hurt anybody. Let's play the Leonard Moulton game. Jeff won that one, so he gets to go first. And then we'll go to April and then to Shane. And Jeff gets to pick the first category.

Categories that Jeff's probably heard a couple times before. Because he's been on a lot lately. I just like to win one. Oh. Oh. If you guys could let that happen. You know how to win? Pretend it's a reality show. If I could just win one.

And then a false eyelash falls off, and then I get on TV. Jeff, would you like Puff Puff Pass? The films of Emily Blunt that Leonard gave two stars or less? Or the classic category, Go Bananas, because we both play that club in Cincinnati all the time called Go Bananas.

I'm going to be there very soon. Yeah, of course. We'll get to the plugs in a little bit. Movies with apes in the title. And I always like to give an example. The Grand Budapest Hotel has apes in the title. And I always like to give an example. The Grand Budapest Hotel has apes in the title. And Fastbatch Cumberbender, the films of Michael Fastbender or Benedict Cumberbatch. Which one of those would you like to play, Jeff?

Oh, man. It's a real murdererumberbatch. Which one of those would you like to play, Jeff? Oh, man. It's a real murderer's rove. Things I don't know. Yeah, it's categories people refuse to pick. All right, let's play Go Bananas then. Which one?

Go Bananas. Okay, might as well. What was it again? It has ape in the title. Apes. A-P-E-S, in that order, is in the title somewhere. Would you like a movie with apes in the title. Apes. A-P-E-S, in that order, is in the title somewhere. Would you like a movie with apes in the title, Jeff,

from 1940 or 1971? Ha! 1971. Okay. Three stars from Leonard for this movie from 1971 that he calls Fast Paced. He also says the climax is particularly exciting and that

the movie has a fine Quincy Jones score. And he lists eight people. How many stars? Three stars. Like that's what's going to give it away for you. Oh, alright. How many names, Jeff?

Eight. He takes all eight. He bids eight names, so April, you can ask him to name it, but he gets all the names, or you can bid less names, and then see what Shane's going to do. Seven names. I like that bid.

Thanks. April's good at crosswords, so that will help her here, but she knows shit about movies, so name it. Oh, sad. Yeah. What an asshole. I didn't know. I did not know this was going to get so ugly. Alright, here's your seven names.

It's a movie that has apes in the title. Three stars from Leonard. Fast-paced. Climax is particularly exciting. Quincy Jones did a fine score. And your seven names are Garrett Morris, Christopher Walken, Margaret Hamilton, Alan King, Christopher Walken, Margaret Hamilton,

Alan King, Ralph Meeker, Martin Balsam, and Diane Cannon. I know who one person is. Wait, which one of those do you know? I only know Walken. And then the last one.

I feel like I know the last one. Diane Cannon's done a lot of stuff. I know know that broad but the other five Bob and Ted and Carol and Alice she was either Ted or Bob any idea? do you want to guess something that's got apes in the title? I was going to guess Kramer vs. Kramer

but that does not have apes in the title crepes vs. crepes I got nothing for that Kramer versus Kramer, but that does not have apes in the title. Crepes versus crepes? I got nothing for that. I got nothing. All right. I lose again? Kramer versus Kramer. I'm assuming.

Incorrect. Shane gets a point. Woo! Oh. Look at how enthusiastic everyone is for me. Thanks, guys. It was kind of a weak point when it's on you and you know she doesn't...

You know her well enough to know she doesn't know the answer. It was kind of a dick move. Yeah, a total dick move. But you're winning. The film was called The Anderson Tapes. And it starred Sean Connery. Was the top-billed person.

Okay. That was a tough-billed person. Okay. That was a tough one, you guys. I apologize, but you should get a load of the one from 1940. Get a load of it. Get a big, fat load of it in your face. Alright, so since Shane challenged April, we're going to start with Jeff and then go to Shane and Jeff gets to choose between

One Fine Day, the films of Rafe and Joseph Fiennes, or Liar Liar, movies that have Bill O'Reilly as himself. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Liar Liar, movies that have Bill O'Reilly as himself. Or Ex Machina, suggested by Z.S. Kessler,

and that's movies where a robot dies. That's not an Ex Machina spoiler necessarily. It's just a fun way to... Because ex-machina. Liar, liar. You're going Bill O'Reilly? Yeah. O'Reilly? Would you like a movie that has Bill O'Reilly in it

from 2010 or 2011? 2010. You say that so decisively. Yeah. I've been following his career for a while. I was a big current affair fan. I really liked Hard Copy or whatever that shit he was on first. Just been watching it ever since.

Fuck it, let's do it live. That's my ringtone. For when my mom calls. Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from 2010. He says about this film that there's no shortage of action or incident. But when all is said and done,

it's just a sequel. Yeah, that's a big clue. And then he lists 14 names. Yeah, 14 names. How many names can you get it in, Jeff? 10. Jeff says 10, April.

10? Shit. I'll say 8 and I'll probably not get it anyway do you have to have like I think I know what it might be do you have to know like the exact name of the sequel

wait a second you challenged April last time so I apologize the order should go to you next. April, so Jeff starts with 10, and then Shane, how many? My question's the same. Do I have to have the whole title? Because I think I might know the whole title. You have to have the accurate title.

Every single goddamn word. Hey, Doug, can you just ballpark it? That's his question. Even if the title is Borat, cultural learnings. I'm just trying to stretch out the show enough for this man's pants to dry in front here.

Can you see this poor guy? Looks like he soiled himself here. Have you been outside, Shane? Don't shame people. Don't be that guy. It's 140 degrees. It would take eight seconds outside. He just spilled a little soda on himself.

I like making references that our podcast listeners will never, and no one else in the room can make. Yeah, you and I are the only people that could see his wet pants, and I don't appreciate you pointing it out to me. It was distracting. It's why I've been playing so poorly.

I just gave him a donut to dry off. Yeah, it'll help. April's so upset with me right now. I'm going to go nine. I'll say you can name that movie that you know so well. April in your face. April in your facey. What year was it again?

The year is 2010. Like that's going to help you. Two and a half stars. You were drunk that year. You were drunk the whole year. Yeah, that's true. Would you. Two and a half stars. You were drunk that year. You were drunk the whole year. Yeah, that's true. What did you say, nine names? Yeah.

Okay, here's your nine names. Paul Bettany, Gary Shandling, Leslie Bibb, Kate Mara, John Favreau, John Slattery, Clark Gregg, Samuel L. Jackson, and Mickey Rourke. Uh-oh. This is not what I thought it was at all. For the love of Christ, do I get a point? Do I get a point? A robot dies in it?

Oh. For the love of Christ, do I get a point? Do I get a point? A robot dies in it? Oh, I was on the wrong category. What's the category? What's the category? The category is that Bill O'Reilly plays himself in it. Oh, okay. And fucks a robot until it dies. No, it can't be Snakes on a Plane. It's not a sequel.

Oh, man. Just admit you don't know. I don't know. That's a point. Thank you. Yay, I get a point. April gets a point, everybody. And that movie also starred Sam Rockwell, Scarlett Johansson, Don Cheadle,

Gwyneth Paltrow, and Robert Downey Jr. And since sequel is in the clue, that would lead you to Iron Man 2. Iron Man 2. Yeah. Oh. One of the easier movies to get, in my opinion. But, you know, it's not your thing. It's not your thing. You're only into

the top couple of billed people. Yeah, it's very hard to hear what everyone is saying up here. Have you noticed that? I'm sitting right next to you. Wait, now you can't walk and you're deaf? No, like the audio up here is kind of echoey and weird. It gets very hard to hear when two people

are talking at the same time. I'll give you that. But when I was clearly naming all the names... No, no, it wasn't that. I had a Terminator movie in my mind. Because I thought it was about robots still. And then it was just hard for me to flip out of that. Yeah, there was no recovering after that. But that's okay.

Maybe that category will still be around the next time you're on. Sorry about your pants, buddy. So the encore to Duck Dynasty. Jeff gets to start us off for the next round. And he gets to choose between. And then we go to April because she challenged on the last one. Henetels, someone named Henetels suggested on Twitter, The Walking Dad. And that's movies where Chris Walken is a dad. Or Jurassic World. Jurassic World.

And that is movies where a senior citizen gave a performance that led to them winning a Golden Globe. Oh. Jurassic World. Oh. I like old people. Or Ghostbusters, and that, of course, is films where Patrick Swayze is arrested.

Controversial category, because I thought he was arrested in Point Break, but it turns out he was not. He just surfed away. Yeah. Jeff? I'm going to take the first one, Walking Dead. Walking Dead. Walking Dead.

This movie is from 2007. Leonard gives it three stars. He says that this movie is candy colored. He also says that... It's an adaptation. And it's hard to pick out clues. So that's all you're going to get. And he lists 14 names.

14 names? 14 names. Zero. Oh, shit! April does have a chance to guess negative one, right? Yeah, April can... Oh, yeah, like I'm going to get it. You can name that movie. Oh, she's just going to tell him to name it. We'll see if he's got the right movie in mind. I think he'm going to get it. You can name that movie. Oh, she's just going to tell him to name it.

We'll see if he's got the right movie in mind. I think he's going to be wrong is my prediction. Oh, no. Do I get the point? Do I get a point then? But I could be wrong about you being wrong. I do. Oh, no.

What happened to the encore? Because I know you. What? I'm going to get Shane to tell us about that encore finally. I can come up with another movie title. Was it Hairspray? Yes! Yeah!

What? Oh! Wow. Oh! I am so excited for you guys. Who knew it was going to be such a nail-biter? We got ourselves a three-way tie! Oh! bite her. We got ourselves a three-way tie.

And you know that can only be settled by the asparagus pee category. And that is where I read the entire review and then the three of you start bidding and we probably started zero names because you probably all know what the movie is,

and then you have to see how deep into negative names you can go to take this thing down. Who challenged Jeff? April did, so we'll start with Shane and go to April. Leonard gave this movie two and a half stars. It's from 1999. It's a production of the USA. 136 minutes in duration.

And it's about a computer hacker who discovers the world he's living in is an illusion maintained by computers that have taken over the world. And he is thought to be the chosen one to save humanity. Cutting-edge visuals and production design compete with an overlong script written by the directors that's got a high MJQ. What do you think, just a side game. I want each of you to guess

what MJQ stands for. MJQ. This movie's got a high MJQ. Military junk quota. Jargon? You're not too far off. What? Military jargon?

No. Q. Shane, anything? No. Q. Shane, anything? No. No. I don't know Q words. This is Leonard's abbreviation for mumbo jumbo quotient. The old MJQ.

And a tendency to keep changing its own complicated and then in quote, rules. Martial arts scene staged by Yen-Wu Ping, Oscar winner for film editing, sound, sound effects editing, and visual effects, followed by a sequel and a DVD collection of animated shorts. And then he lists only

seven names. Jeff, start the bidding. No, I start the bidding. No, I'd like Jeff to start. No, Shane's first and then April. Negative one.

He says negative one, April. What? If you can name the movie and the top two billed people, you can go negative two. Or you can bluff that you can do that. And then see what Jeff does.

That's an idiot. You go ahead. If you really... Before that answer is locked in Before that answer is locked in I could go three Three? You don't get to do that

She told me to name it right? Wait do I get to guess first? No But you're basically handing it to him Because everybody in this room knows the top-billed person. It's what I was counting on happening. April, you know what movie it is, right? I think I do.

Yeah. I hope I do. What year was it again? Well, it depends. Would you like Jeff to win or Shane to win? Or you to win? Because if you just say to Shane to name it, he Well, it depends. Would you like Jeff to win or Shane to win? Or you to win? Because if you just say to Shane to name it, he's going to win. But if you say

you can go negative two, either you or Jeff is going to win. Hey, remember this. We just met. I've never hurt you. Ah! I'm going to go with this guy right here. I'm going to go with this guy. So you have to go negative two then. Negative two.

All right, negative three. He says negative three, Shane. So at least if you can't pull it off, you have a shot at the win. I should be able to go negative four. I don't have confidence in myself right now because I flubbed that Meg Ryan thing. No one wanted to hear about my encore to Duck Dynasty. I'm feeling kind of down right now. I feel like those manhandles are just a sad reminder of a lot of terrible choices I've made in my life.

I'm going to say name that movie with a negative three. All right, Jeff. This is very exciting. If you can name the movie and the top three billed people in the right order, you're going to take this down. Otherwise, Shane's going to win. Oh. Shit.

Thanks for playing, April. Oh, don't get your cane out for sympathy. I just did a fancy cane trick? Yeah. Well, the first thing you got to realize is there was no cane. Oh! Oh, yeah. That stunt was shot in cane time.

Yeah. Okay, so it's the Matrix. What? That was not my guess. That was not my guess. That was not my guess. That wasn't what you thought it was? No, I didn't think so. Keanu Reeves, Lawrence Fishburne, and Hugo Weaving?

No, it's Carrie Ann Moss. Everyone's ahead of you, buddy. The third billed person is Carrie Ann Moss, so Shane is our winner. Oh! Sean Shane wins. No, no Shane is our winner. Sean Shane wins. No, no, it's fine. April just hates movies like that.

One time I tried to show her the movie Inception. She made it roughly five minutes, said something insulting about it, and then we got in a big fight. Well, it is a shitty movie, but... Nah, you're wrong.

It's a great movie. Christopher Nolan's the shit. It's not a bad movie if you like to spend two hours listening to blah, blah. And thanks to that goddamn movie, every fucking trailer that comes out now is blah, blah.

How can you smoke that much weed and not like that sound? It's like being at a World Cup game a few years ago when they let everybody blow those stupid horns. Oh, it wasn't the movie. It was your condescending tone. Sorry.

Well, maybe you did a thing. Who were you playing for, Shane? I was playing for... This person. Right here, right? Zach and Mary. Here you go, you guys. Here's your...

No, don't give them that one. I'm sorry I insulted your thing earlier. Good luck getting rid of those mandals and a bunch of other shit. Hopefully you'll have better luck unloading those things than I did. Dude, there's a dumpster right outside. Like right down the steps there's a dumpster. You can just drop those off before you get to the corner.

Aw, he's so generous. Everyone better. Everybody gets one. You get a man candle and you get a man candle. That guy wants a man candle right here. Sweet, sweet pants. Make sure he gets two. False man candles.

Make sure, Shane, you get your box back. There's a whole other box. Can't you just give him the other box to hand out? No, he's going to sell his CDs. I feel like if I give this box away right now, I might move more CDs out front. You might. I don't see the logic behind it,

but do what you want to do. No, buy an album, you'll get a free man candle. Yeah. You're going to buy his album anyway, right? We don't need this anymore. We need the shithead. No, we don't need this anymore. They can have it. No, we don't. They won.

Shithead. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. A glass just got knocked over. I forgot how the shithead worked. Yeah. The guests always do. Don't take it personally.

Jeff, what are your plugs? I see you got them right there in a piece of paper. No, that's Jenny's shithead because I fucked up. Oh, okay. Let me have it. My plugs. I'm in Cincinnati, July 9th through 12th. Oh, where? Go Bananas?

St. Paul in August. I'm touring the whole country in the fall. Chicago, Nashville, Philadelphia, Boston, Seattle, Portland, fucking Austin, Oklahoma City. I have a website now, justanotherclown.com. And you can go there and find my albums and my t-shirts. You can buy this t-shirt there and then 20% of all my fucking shirt sales

goes to a domestic violence shelter in Cincinnati. When you say that they, when you say they could buy that shirt, that's the one you're wearing is the only one you're selling? Yeah, yeah. I just sell Game Warren shirts.

As soon as you get an order, you're going to be shirtless? Yeah, but then I'll make another one, wear that one, then you can buy that one. They're $1,000. No, there's a... Yeah, you buy them the way you buy anything.

You just say, I want that, and then it comes in the mail. Beautiful, thank you. April, what do you got to plug? I'm here all weekend at the 10pm prom yeah come out and see her you guys I heard her opening act is shitty but and then I'm in beautiful Peoria

Illinois everybody where are you going to be jukebox comedy I'm at jukebox Dan the owner gives me weird gentle kisses atop my forehead at the top on the weekend I hope not it's very uncomfortable The owner gives me weird gentle kisses atop my forehead on the weekend. I don't know Dan, and he's listening to this right now. I hope not.

It's very uncomfortable. He might listen to this. If you're listening to this, Dan, don't fucking kiss her forehead. It's very weird. First off, Dan, I've been sending Nehemiah veils for a while, and I haven't heard back. I don't know if I have your wrong email. You should try faxing that club. That's not a real email, internet-heavy room.

I need the work, so I let the forehead kisses come. It's fine. And then I'm in Cove Haven, Pennsylvania at Some Weird Pocono Resort. You keep looking at me like I know where you're going. Go to someweirdpoconoresort.com. And if you just want dates, it's aprilmacy.com Thank you for being here. Thank you so much.

Thanks for coming into Tempe a night early to do this. Same with you, Shane. Shane Moss, what do you got to plug? I have, in May, the one-year anniversary of me breaking both of my feet. I released an album about me breaking both of my feet

called My Big Break. And that's for real. The cover of the album is an x-ray of one of his feet. It is. If there's no other reason to investigate further, go and take the cover of my album as an x-ray of all the hardware in my foot. So go and check that out.

I also have a podcast called Here We Are, where I travel around talking with scientists about life. I actually did a bunch from ASU here last time I was through a couple months ago. Next Monday one will be coming out. There's a man at ASU

named Burt Jacobs who is going to eradicate AIDS. And I interviewed him. I'm not kidding you. He's probably going to get rid of AIDS. And I talked to him about it with laughs. So check that out. And then also...

Is he the subject of Philadelphia 2? My grandparents had AIDS. Her grandparents got AIDS from a blood transfusion. It's true, everybody. It's hilarious. Come out this weekend for my fun-loving AIDS jokes. Whose grandparents died of AIDS, though? That is crazy.

If you want Nana AIDS jokes I'm your lady. Yeah. It's one way you don't expect to lose a grandparent. It's also another way that you don't expect

to find out that your grandparents were still boning. But Stan and Edna we're fucking everybody. Stan and Edna. And then I have

I'm sorry this is way too many plugs but I'm also working on I'm workshopping a new hour about psychedelics. I don't have a name for it yet, but I'm testing it out in Gainesville, Florida, in Orlando, Florida, in the beginning of August, and I'll be adding more dates soon. So shanemoss, M-A-U-S-S dot com.

Yeah, and what's your Twitter? At Shane Comedy. Shane Comedy. Yeah. And April's is April Macy. April Macy. M-A-C-I-E. And Jeff's is Jeff Tate 47.

96. Jeff Tate 96. Jeff Tate 47 96. It's already hard enough. G-E-O-F-F. Tate 96. Jeff Tate 4796. It's already hard enough. G-E-O-F-F. Tate 96. Jeff Tate. Wait.

Fuck. Jeff Tate 96. Spelled like I spell it. It's the best way to spell your name is the way that you spell it. It's the best way to spell your name is the way that you spell it. I'm going to do stand-up at the Punchline in San Francisco on Wednesday, July 15th. One more time for all of my guests. Another terrific crowd here at the Tempe Improv. And thanks to the Tempe Improv

hope to see you guys over at Stand Up Live in August and as always give him his Jason doll back he needed it Freddy Krueger is a shithead and mosquitoes are a shithead.