Doug Loves Movies - Super Tournament of Championships

Episode Date: July 13, 2013

Recorded live at Largo at the Coronet in Los Angeles, California on July 14th, 2013. Jon Hamm, Matt Braunger, and Samm Levine compete.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I love you. I love you. Ford hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies I forgot to turn the microphone around

I'm sure everybody could hear you And this is the Super Tournament of Championships It's been years in the making And it's finally happening. Back here where it first began, at Largo in Los Angeles, on La Cienega, the littlest big room in the world. It's Sunday, July 14th, 2 Oceans 13. Right? I heard tittering like I said it wrong.

Everyone's just muttering under their breath, he got that right. tittering like I said it wrong. Everyone's just muttering under their breath, he got that right. And what better day than Bastille Day to stage this epic battle. We've got competitors from the worlds of television, film, comedy, and a major geek. No, they're all from all those worlds, as you already know. Can I see your name tags? Nah, nice. That is a nice selection

of name tags. Can we get the house lights up just a little bit? And I'll try to vine these guys real quick. The listeners love it when I vine. It's like the lights are... Oh, there we go. That's... Oh, that looks... It looks like you're all dead. Ghosts with name tags. All right.

Well, we'll get those out again later. You guys know what to do. There's some big ones. Like people behind you can't see. Is that a Bane mask over there? A Bane mask on a stick? I love that. This is an interesting coincidence because...

Whoa! Interesting coincidence because in the prize bag tonight, a Bane mask! Also got some Milano cookies from backstage. Yeah, they treat us right here at Largo on La Cienega. The littlest big room in the world. $10 gift card for P.F. Chang's. It's in here somewhere. Oh, there it is.

A copy of my CD, Gateway, Doug. And this is cool. Somebody gave me this, I want to say, in Minneapolis. Also, the Bane mask is from a guy in Minneapolis dressed up as Heath Ledger's Joker. So that was an interesting exchange. And this is, somebody made a shirt that says Denver, yeah on it. And it's TJ Miller's face. And I couldn't be seen in this. And I couldn't be seen in this.

So I'm paying it forward to a lucky audience member. Plus, my guests also brought some more prizes that I will tell you about when they get out here. But before that, it's time for tweet relief. Do a quick one. They're all quick. It's just a tweet. Do a quick one. They're all quick. It's just a tweet.

At cervix smash. You know, that show Smash probably would have done better in the ratings if they just added the word cervix to the front of it. Cervix Smash tweeted, what if Jamie Lee Curtis is still in Lindsay Lohan's body and she's the one ruining her reputation? Right? And Lindsay Lohan obviously loves

Activia. This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. I already told you what I brought in the prize bag, so let's get them out here. Please welcome Matt Bronger, Jon Hamm, and Sam the Man Levine, a.k.a. Lil Wolverine. Hello. Hello. Wow. Wow. I wish you guys would get excited about this. I know I am.

I never have this over at UCB. I have power for my phone, because if the phone runs out, show's over, you guys. If I can't get to my Leonard Maltin app, we're in trouble. Now, what is that sign over there? You tweeted it today, right?

Yeah. What is all that? It's a lot of stuff. It's like a... Matt, can you take that from him and bring it up here real quick? What is all that? It's a lot of stuff. It's like a... It's the name of every game that was played. Wall of Fires. Can you, Matt, can you take that from him and bring it up here real quick? Yeah. I'm not saying any of us are going to pick that name tag.

I just can't believe it exists. It's the... It's the brackets from all of the... That is some crazy shit, yeah. The amazing thing about this sign is that if you take it and put it in front of you, you'll never get laid. Not a problem for me, John.

Step ahead of you. It'll block all seconds. Let me ask that dude, did you get any puss on the way over tonight? How'd this go over on the bus? Here? Did you get any puss on the way over tonight? How'd this go over on the bus?

Did you get any bus puss? No way, man. He's got a sex blocker. That is fantastic, dude. Can I just leave it up here for just as a visual reminder of that some people are the worst. That is very cool. Do you have any predictions for tonight? Since you've followed the whole thing so closely?

There are three powerhouses, but it's between John and Sam. Let's be honest. We're not only not to take a side, but just take a dump on that. In fairness, I agree with you completely. Without hesitation at all. Yeah, Matt came into this knowing that he's got to just, you know. I wanted to wear a bronze medal.

I wanted to just come out here. In just some swim trunks. Is your name on here somewhere? What is it? I can't see it now because it's... I'm behind it. It's the Justin and Anthony joint. Justin and Anthony?

Oh, it took two of you to do this. But I like that you put the word join in there. Spike Lee would be proud. He's finally reached white culture. But I know it's on the sign, but I would just like to break it down really quickly. Matt Bronger beat Ricky Lindholm and Jimmy Pardo in the first tournament of championships back in 2010, a space odyssey.

I know, Sam, it's not a space I'm not going to do it again I tried to trap you And then And that was right here at Largo That that took place And then the next Tournament

Was That was back in 2010 like I said And then Two Oceans 11 was the next one, and Sam defeated Paul F. Tompkins and Scott Aukerman in the John Lovitz Memorial Library. And most recently, John the Ma'am Ham took down Kate McEuchie, Her Brain, and Andy Wood

at the Nerd Melt Theater at Meltdown Comics. And Sam, you brought a giant bag of stuff. I brought a giant bag of crap. This is the super tournament, guys.

Yeah, save the best thing for last. I will save the best thing for last. And by that I mean the Bane costume. There you go. We've got...

Here's a Stewie nobody gives thing for last. And by that I mean the Bane costume. There you go. We've got... Here's a Stewie nobody gives a shit about. Say about that. Here's a... What do you call it? A dead mouse? It's a speaker thing. I don't know.

Yeah, you hook it up to your computer and it's a little speaker. That's fun. Look, it was either going to one of you guys or the Salvation Army. Half-eaten box

of Girl Scout cookies. Trefoils. Trefoils. The of Girl Scout cookies. Tree foils. Tree foils. The ones no one likes. Oh my... Wrong. Dead wrong. Those are the dark horse of the Girl Scout cookie universe. I don't think that's right to call Girl Scout cookies dark horse.

Maybe I didn't hear you right. No, you heard me right, Doug. Some DVDs. The last of this bunch, we've got The Pilot of Dexter. Oh, that's where you find out whether or not he's a serial killer? Yep. Child's Play, the original, for screening purposes only. And, of course, Hellraiser, for screening purposes only.

Of course. And a little film I'm in that nobody has seen but everyone should called Drones. This is not even an official copy. Topical. Yeah. Drone strikes are everywhere these days. It's very... We were way ahead of our time.

Good for you. When we did this movie. This is not even an official DVD. This is the one that I think the directors gave to me so I could watch it before it was even finished cutting. So enjoy that. I got a good idea for a rom-com just now. Drone Struck. And it's about a couple.

One of them gets struck by a drone. This pillow was stolen by me from an American Idol Top 12 party in 2011. And it has now been signed by the three competitors this evening. By all three of the Super Tournament of Championships competitors. As seen

on this joint over here. All right, that's everything in that giant bag. Did I forget anything? No, I think we're good. I'd like to play one quick game to determine who's going to go first. Volley for serve. In the Leonard Maltin game.

That's what we're doing. Thank God. I forgot how this game works. I'm not joking. This game we're about to play, I don't think you've ever played. Uh-oh. Yes. Let the game begin.

So they didn't put any holes where the mouth should go? It's not easy being bad. That mask is harder to talk through than you know. I want to take control of my face.

All right. Here's how the Bane game works. Here's how the Bane game works First person to two points I'll say a quote from a movie In the Bane voice In this stupid mask It's also really hot in that mask I bet you Tom Hardy lost a lot of face weight

And then If you think you know it, at any point during the quote or right after, just yell out your own name, and then I will call on you, and then you can tell us the right answer. No points taken away for wrong answers, but first person to two correct ones

will go first in the Leonard Mullen game. All right? Make sense? Cool. Yes, it does. Yes. I'm like the stewardess that needs a yes

out of everybody. And eye contact. Yes. Yes, I can perform the functions. Thank you for believing. Thank you for believing. Sam?

Thank you for believing. Sam, yes. Miracle on 34th Street? That's an excellent guess. But now I must send you into darkness. Anyone else? No. That is from Hook from 1991.

Hook! Hook! I can't stand this thing. What's that smell like? That is gnarly. Me now. Is that just solid rubber? Yeah, I don't know how someone

can walk around all of Halloween or whatever you're going to wear it to. That's not a Halloween mask. That's a church mask. That's a church mask. You can tell. That's a kissing mask. But whoever wins it tonight,

you might want to wash it or something. All right. So nobody got a point on that one. I kind of saw that coming. People don't quote Hook a lot. No. Only one word said repeatedly. Roofie-oh! Roofie-oh! Yes, that's the Well. People don't quote Hook a lot. No. Only one word said repeatedly. Roofie-oh.

Roofie-oh. Yes, that's the one. Roofie-oh. All right. Here's another one, guys. La-dee-da. La-dee-da. No, Sam.

Annie Hall. Sam. Annie Hall is correct. You're both correct that Sam was correct. Sam Annie Hall. Exactly. Point for Sam. For it is the doom of man that they forget.

Sam Annie Hall. Let me say it again. I think you missed a subtle nuance in there. For it is the doom of man that they forget. Sam, Planet of the Apes? Oh. No. I didn't ever consider that it might have been said in more than one movie.

Yeah. That seems like something they would say in that. I think Dr. Zayas might have said that. Nothing, Matt? Strangely enough, no. That was from Excalibur. 1981. 1981.

They might get easier, Matt. Nobody else knew it. Don't kick yourself. They're here. Sam. Both are guys. All right, Sam's our winner. There you go. He's on the board.

And I'm sure some people in the audience are worried that I've forgotten to do this, but gentlemen, pick your name tags. Oh, my God. Go physically get the one you want to play for. Don't forget there's this beauty over here. He's yelling about it, that it's on the stage. If you want to pick his brackets. Jon Hamm's headed out towards the...

There's a hemorrhoid pillow. Oh, he went right for it. I think it's a hemorrhoid pillow. Oh, a donut. It's Dr. Vincent's. Hemorrhoid donut. And Matt's got one. Thanks for bringing so many good ones, you guys.

This one's pretty great. Appreciate it. Oh, this one just speaks to you. The guy's wearing a Wolverine mask and a Blackhawks jersey. good ones, you guys. This one's pretty great. Appreciate it. Oh, this one just speaks to you. The guy's wearing a Wolverine mask and a Blackhawks jersey. Is that mask comfortable? You can take it off now. I already picked your name tag. Mission accomplished.

But that'd be fun if hockey players all wore different superhero masks. It'd be even more fun if Wolverine played hockey. Just the fights. So tell us about your name tag, Sam. All right, mine came from Greg, or as I'm going to call him, Do No Greg.

Greg has made something of a collage of things that I've been associated with, starting with the PFT named Dr. Facehands, television program that no one saw, and then a feature called Inglourious Bastards, which a lot of people did see. And then he's also got some clippings from Lost and Undeclared on here. And a picture of Wolverine. Just for added effect.

So that was clearly made specifically hoping that you would choose it? Just for me. And it worked. And Greg was right on with that thinking. Yeah. And Sarah decided that Jon Hamm would probably like a big giant pink donut. And Sarah was 100% right. There are sprinkles, a lot of which have fallen off.

But some are still here and are most probably delicious. I won't be eating them. But good for you, Sarah. Speaking of poltergeist. This is by Jean, yes? Because that's why it says Jean Girls, and it's all of us as the Mean Girls. Look at Sam. Look at how sassy Sam is.

And true to form, I'm the dumb one. So, well done, Gene. Am I Rachel McAdams in that? Yeah, dude. You're the Mean Girl. Finally. You're Mean Girl number one. People always ask me in interviews, what's your dream role?

And I always say, whatever Rachel McAdams is going to do next, I just want to slide in there instead. So you're going to be... The role or her? That's right. I don't think that sounded the way you wanted it to sound. No, that sounded the way I intended. Fair enough. Sliding in.

Oh, and I wasn't kidding you guys. I brought, also from the Joker in Minneapolis, a fucking, a whole Bane costume. It says adult size on it. I don't know about that. It's weird. So yeah, that's a massive prize bag that someone's going to win tonight.

And Sam gets to go first. You guys excited? Wayne, we're in such a good hype. You're a great hype man. That was really good. You guys like being pandered to? You guys like being called you guys? Hey, it's all going well.

Well, show's over. Have you, John, have you touched base at all lately with Kate McCucci's brain? Oh, no, I haven't spoken in a while. I feel bad to her not being here. I don't know if I could even remotely remember that dumb bit that I did six months ago. I think her brain sounds like an old prospector. Oh, Kate Micucci's brain. We found out a lot about that brain of hers that day in the comic book store.

We found out I'd like to pull the ripcord when the bit went bad. So it did. And you just got back from where were you shooting? India? I was in India and Atlanta. Two places that have nothing to do with one another.

I was shooting India for India and Atlanta for Los Angeles. So there. Okay. to do with one another. I was shooting India for India and Atlanta for Los Angeles. So there. Okay. Why not shoot in Los Angeles for Los Angeles? Don't worry about it. All right. Because Atlanta's closer to India.

All right. They alternated days. I almost forget. It was a hell of a commute. And just real quickly, I always like to ask all the guests days. I almost forget. It was a hell of a commute. And just real quickly, I always like to ask all the guests if they've seen a motion picture lately that they could recommend

or not, as the case may be. Matt, have you been to the movies lately? This might be the easiest question you get all night. Have I been? I'm just trying to think of the last one I saw. God, it's been probably months since I went and saw a movie. But I saw that Gasland documentary about fracking, and that fucked my whole world.

So anyone see that thing? That ruined me. John? I saw that, too. I saw that, too, Matt. Didn't affect me the way it affected you. Well, of course not. Sort of enjoyed it.

Found it educational and interesting. Good belly laugh. Well, of course not. Sort of enjoyed it. Found it educational and interesting. Good belly laugh. But also in the documentary field, I saw, and the name is, of course, escaping me, the Ricky Jay documentary about magic and cards and prestidigitation, that sort of thing.

What's that called? Deceptive Practices. Thank you very much. Also the working title of the fracking documentary. Deceptive Pract are powerful agents. I love the guy with the bait on a stick, held it up, shook it around when I spoke. So cute.

Sam, do you see any real movies or just documentaries? No, I saw a real one. I re-watched the more recent version of The Day the Earth Stood Still. You're welcome. Oh, here we go. Which, uh... Did you really watch that recently? You're very welcome.

You dick. I saw it at the Cinerama Dome in the big, the Dome Dome. I got to watch you die on the biggest screen available. That's awesome. Once again, you're welcome. Terrible. You died in that? I did. Holy shit Once again, you're welcome. Terrible. You died in that?

I did. Holy shit. Yeah, let's all take a minute. Yeah. Did your character in the original die also? I don't think my character was in the original. They added you just to kill you? Yeah.

They weren't going to kill that adorable Smith boy. Does John Cleese live? I can't remember. Sorry? Does John Cleese live in the movie? Was he in it? I did not shoot with him. I did not shoot with him. Jon Hamm makes a movie.

He walks away. He doesn't go back and check it out. Skips the premiere. I was at the premiere. Oh, okay. Sorry. Don't be. Okay.

It was super fun. All right, let's play. All right. That was fun. Sam gets to go first. Come on. This is first to five points. And we're going to give Matt Bronger a head start of four points.

Awesome. Awesome. Only fair. Only fair. I'm fine. I'm fine with that. Only fair. Some people think I'm kidding.

I feel like I'm stuck in a niche here. I don't know. We'll go to you next, Matt, though. So get ready. Okay. Sam gets to pick a category celebrating a birthday today. Jackie Earl Haley. Oh,

the great Jackie Earl Haley. So the films of him or at all wasted hours suggested the artist, which is movies about painters. Yeah, no one's going to be clamoring to get into that category. And at Noel Kennedy, N-O-L-E Kennedy suggested Edible Fundies. And that's comedies with food in the title.

Edible fundies. A word food or a type of food? A type of food. Thank you very much. Important clarification. Or it could be a movie called Chinese Food, which would also be a food. That's true. Or Indian food

Do you like Indian food? No So that was rough being there? It wasn't particularly rough It's just not my go-to cuisine But I did not get ill So I chose wisely on the things that I did eat Good job

That's worthy of applause I've traveled overseas and gotten sick Every fucking time. In Germany? Well, not in Germany. Fair enough. But Romania. Oh, boy.

Let's go with Edible Fundies, the food in the name of the title. Would you like a movie with food in the title from 1979 or 2006? Hmm. Before you were born or the one you know? John, he knows shit from before he was born. It's freaky. I'll take 79. Oh, shit.

Starting off on the wrong foot here at Largo. One and a half stars from Leonard for this movie as food in the title. He calls it alternately cruel and sloppily sentimental. Yeah, those are wild shifts in tone. And he also calls it pretty desperate. Oh. Yeah.

And he lists six people. How many people do you think it'll take you to pin down this one? Zero names? Now Matt, you know about

negative names, right? Refresh me. You could say, like if you know, if names, right? Refresh me. You could say, like, if you think you know the name of the movie, you could say negative one, and then that means you have to name the movie and the top-billed person. And the top-billed person. Or you could go negative two, negative three. In this case, all the way to negative six.

Somebody in the audience had something to say. I don't know what that was about. I don't know. Kick him out? Something like that? Yeah, I mean, I got nothing. I think, yeah,

I just pass. Go ahead and do it, Sam. It's a good strategy. It's a real good strategy. I'm going to pass too and I think we're going to get the thing and we're going to go

from the beginning. All right, let's move on to the next one. No one gets a point. Great, great. We did it. Great. No one gets a point. Good job.

Good to go. I got to take one away from Matt, though, so now he has three. Yeah. Fair enough. That's fair. No, officially, Matt, you just have to say to Sam, name it, and if he fails to name it, then you'll get the point. But if he gets it, he'll get the point.

That's what I meant. I'm sorry. It's true. It feels like he's going to get it. Yeah. Yeah, no, can I just say it? All right.

So you said name it? Yeah, name it. Is it meatballs? No. Yes. Oh, fuck you. You know. What are you going to do?

All right. To recap, Sam has one and Matt has three. For those of you listening at home, I said meatballs and Doug looked at me and nodded his head no while smiling. Because I would have been so happy if you were wrong. I know how happy you get when I'm wrong. What's Maltin's beef with meatballs, by the way? I know, right? He really tears into it. That seems very, very harsh.

Why is it cruel? Well, because there's like pranking going on and they're sort of mean to the younger kids. The underdogs win! He's with the... Oh yeah, that's true. The other camp is a bunch of bad guys.

Maybe he didn't watch the whole thing. He kind of quit in Act 2. Yeah, let me look at this. Let me get a little further into it. He said, followed by several so-called sequels. So he's like attacking the quality of the movies that followed this one and a half star piece. He was mad at Meatballs 2.

Yeah, maybe he was still mad at Meatballs 2. Oh, you know what else? Myopic screen characters named Spaz aren't really all that funny. So now we're getting somewhere. That's what they called Len in school. I bet. I bet you he had glasses and they called him Spaz.

So that's what happened there. Spaz Malton. Also, like he says it will no doubt wow fifth graders wait he goes it will wow fifth graders of all ages i was the fifth grader of a certain age in 1979 and i agree only that grade not fourth graders of all ages. Not sixth graders. I gotta run this one by him. I don't think Len knows about this review.

No. He should probably go in and fix it. Maybe not. I don't even think he says star-making vehicle ever. He doesn't even mention Bill Murray. Well, I mean... Why drag Bill Murray into Meatballs? I don't know that Meatballs was a star-making turn

as much as Caddyshack. Yeah, but Meatballs, he played that character that he always played from then on. Caddyshack was kind of an interesting character role. All right. He's the same guy in Meatballs and Ghostbusters, right? Yeah, similar.

Just one, he's busting ghosts, and the other one, he's meeting balls. Are you a fifth grader? You seem to like that movie. Ballin' makes me feel good. All right. Jon Hamm gets to go first. You seem to like that movie. Ballin' makes me feel good. All right. Jon Hamm gets to go first. And then we'll go to you, Matt.

Yay! Yay! At Santa Gaga Bieber suggests I'll be three mythical characters. Suggested, papers, please. And that's movies with the word paper in the title. Yeah, you'd be surprised how many there are. And then at Retro Rusher suggested Peter Shrinklage.

And that is... Movies where Jason Alexander takes a swim. No. It is... It is movies where someone is shrunk. Some...

One or more characters is made very small at one point during these films. And at Simone Silvana, S-Y-L-V-A-N-A, suggested Rocky movies. And those are films in which an earthquake occurs. So which one of those would you like to play? The first one.

John. Papers, please. Please. Would you like a movie with the word paper in the title from 2009 or 1973? The second one, please. 73. Three and a half stars from Leonard. He calls this movie near classic.

Yeah, just missed it. And he says it's got an Oscar winning performance. Negative three. I don't know why I held my phone up to it. And not the microphone. They both have phone in the title. I got too much to deal with over here. But that was fun playing some dramatic music.

Let me try it again. That dramatic music's gonna be good. Alright, here we go. You don't hold the mic up to the keys. Oh yeah. Do it again. Make sure you get it. No, that's...

I don't... The Viking helmet? That's where the sound comes out of. That's not a microphone. It's the Dark Lord. Oh, shit. I'm winded. I don't know how Jerry Lee Lewis does it. Have sex with a 13-year-old.

You'll be fine. That puts a pep in your step. Sure do. All right, Matt. Gave you some thinking time. Gave you some water drinking time. Negative three, says Mr. Ham. Yeah.

I could have done negative one. You could have done negative two. Maybe. They're related. Well, yeah. Name it. Go ahead. Paper Moon. Yep. And the names?

Ryan O'Neill, Tatum O'Neill, Madeline Kahn. That is incorrect. Fuck! What? No. No. From one... Paper Moon was 74.

Oh. This is the Paper Chase. From 1973. And the top three people, That's why when you said they're related, I was like, wait a second. Are Timothy Bottoms...

I love Sam nodding. Like, he was like, yeah, it was pretty much the paper chase and I knew they were related. I had...

I was totally on board with you. I thought it was Paper Moon, buddy. Thank you. Oh, shit. Doubting my sincerity that I was wrong?

Anger from House Left. Anger from House Left. Anger from House Left. Damn. Jesus. We got to talk after the show. Did you think Paper Chase or Paper Moon? Moon. Moon for sure.

Yeah, we all thought it was Paper Moon. Timothy Bottoms, Lindsay Wagner was in Paper Chase. You know, the one bionic woman. Bottoms, Lindsay Wagner was in Paper Chase, you know, the Bionic Woman. And John Hausman won an Oscar for it for a role that, coincidentally, Leonard used the expression, the role that made

him a star. He mentions it about John Hausman, but he doesn't mention it about Bill Murray. Come on, Len. Get your shit together. Holy crap, Matt got a point. I thought I was giving him one. So now he's at four points.

One point away from the win. No, please. That means we're going to start with Sam. And then go to Matt. I sense a recurring pattern here Bronze Sam, did you strategize when sitting down where you sat? Or did that make any difference to you? It makes no difference

When there are three players, it makes no difference Don't get him started about the four player thing Motherfucking four players is anarchy When there are three players, it makes no difference. Okay. Don't get him started about the four-player thing. Motherfucking four players is anarchy! I gotta lay down. Would you like, at Fantastic Mr. Joe, suggested,

I know what you did last, which is the final film of an actor. Pretty clever, I Know What You Did Last. It's not drag times a year into it. Let's just say I Know What You Did Last. It'll be an interesting new horror movie, I Know What You Did Last. Oh shit, yeah, I just murdered that that guy i know the last thing you did

just now yeah we are all standing right here when it happened of course you know what i did last you did it with me yeah i shut the fridge wait i didn't At Tank Hughes H-U-G-H-E-S Tank Hughes Suggested State your name and occupation It's kind of similar to Papers, Please And this is Movies where the title

Is someone's name And their occupation It's all there in the title Okay It's one there in the title. Okay. It's one of those TMI titles. And then at edge of the table, suggested, game over, man!

And that's movies where Bill Paxton dies. Oh. So movies where we know what Bill Paxton did last. Okay. Which one would you like, Sam? Let's try the Bill Paxton. Okay. Wow, someone's very excited about that up front.

One guy. Yeah. It's John Paxton. From the Chicago Bulls in the 90s. Good to have you here, champ. Okay. The year... Sam?

Yes? The year is 1987. Uh-huh. Two and a half stars from Mr. Moulton. All right. He calls this movie Better Than Average. Which goes hand in hand with two and a half stars. And he also says that

zero names I got to give one more clue for the other players all right stylishly Stylishly Cook Is that a Stylishly Styled

That's a clue Stylish Cookie kicking in This is stylishly better than average And you said zero? Zero Zero names Stylish. Cookie kicking in. This is stylishly better than average. And you said zero? Zero. Zero names.

What do you think about that, Matt Bronger? I'll do negative one. Yeah. Wait, wait. Now we've got to find out how many names there are. More like Matt Bringer. We never actually got to listen to how many names there are. How long are you waiting? Oh, that's a good point.

Out of six names. Oh, okay. How long are you waiting to say that Matt Bringer joke? Just thought of it. Oh, good for you. That's how my jokes work. God bless you. Go ahead and name it, Matt. Because I know you got it. Okay, I hope I got it. This is for all the marbles. Five points.

Sigourney Weaver, Aliens. Oh, no, sir. Somebody in the audience started this. Oh, no. No, I, sir. Somebody in the audience started to say, Oh, sir. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

That puts Jon Hamm on the board, though. So we got an exciting match. All right. What do you think it is, Sam? Show off? Near dark? Yeah, you show off. Fuck you.

You show off, you piece of shit. I forgot he was in that. He looks so different. No, that was impressive. Thanks. Why don't you be a tube man game? I say that out of love. Who's the top billed person?

I don't know. That's why I bid zero. That's a tough one, right? It is a tough one. What's his name? It's not Bill Paxton. Lance Henriksen? It's that gravelly motherfucker.

No, he's not even in that. What'd you call him? Everything he does is gravelly. He's the star of Pumpkinhead, right? Lance Henriksen. That's who he just said. Is that what he said? I didn't hear him.

No, he's not the lead. He's third bill. The top bill guy is Adrian Pazdar. Ah! He was in Prophet. Pazdar. A P word. He's married to a Dixie chick, right?

I think he is. He is. They're called... He was on Heroes. They're called Southern ladies. Sam knows everything. Jesus. That's so rude.

I gotta get out of here. His favorite color is purple. Come on, people. Me and my non-existent Or is he reversed with Pazdar blue? Pazdar blue. We're it, Pazdar Blue. Pazdar Blue. We're traveling to Pazdar Blue. 40 million light years away.

So Matt has four points. John has one. And Sam has two. I wish I had two. Okay, let's call it zero. I accidentally wrote down two scratch marks next to your name. And who challenged you on that one? John challenged Matt.

Back to Sam. Sam's got control again. But then this time we're going to go to John, right? I've never figured out how this order works. No idea. Yes. Trust me. It starts with the person who didn't play and goes towards the person who challenged.

So, yeah. Now I know how it works. Sam. Lookout. Sam into ham. If only I was Rachel McAdams. Oh, baby. You meant because you were talking about Slipping it in her before

Oh, Canada Classic Okay, Sam, would you like At Hip Check 11 Suggested Will Smith loves pussy. I agree. And I mean, that's something we all know.

But in this case, it's movies where Will Smith saves a cat. And then In Theaters Now, which of course you know is movies that are in theaters now. And then the very exciting category, Asparagus Pete. And that is, Matt, this is where I read the entire description of the movie. And then the bidding begins. So then it becomes a bidding game of how many names you think you can name. Because everyone will know what movie it is. Because Pete Holmes

isn't here. In theory. Gotcha. In theory, not everyone in the room, but everyone on the stage will know what the name of the movie is.

Well, Doug, since this is the Super Tournament of Champions, I think it will be very exciting to do the Asparagus Peak at a game. I agree.

I agree with you, Sam. Here we go. John, you're after Sam, so be ready. Sam's start? Yeah. Okay. I said I knew how it went, and I lied. He picked the category, so he gets to go.

Three stars from Leonard for this movie from 1985 that he says is a sprawling well made western about four unlikely comrades who join forces

against some very bad guys first major Hollywood western in a long time is no classic but offers ample entertainment

by throwing in everything but the kitchen sink and it never stops moving just don't think about it too hard. Script by Mark and Lawrence Kasdan. The score by Bruce Button.

The score is really great in this movie. And he lists 13 names. Sam. And you are in the catbird seat You could just say The one Yeah I know Zero names would be a weird bit I agree

I couldn't allow that I'm not going to do it I'd have to step in And I'm not going to do it So don't worry about it I'd have to put on the Viking helmet Sit you down Tell you a long story.

Yeah, negative one. All right. He says negative one, John. How does that work? Use your microphone voice, Matt. It's, you know, John now could say negative two, negative three, negative four. He just has to be able to name. Up to negative 13. Yeah. Oh, okay. It starts that way. All right. Yeah. Sorry. I knew we were naming the names. Just this one category.

It won't happen this way again. Yeah. 85. 85. John, are you not sure what movie is this? Interesting I just think he's thinking about the names What they might be It's kind of an order thing I agree It's very challenging He says negative two Matt Name it

Fuck I don't know what this movie is Matt Bronger is going to win this fucking thing Yeah he's just one point away Yeah I know It's not real I can make it real I know

I kind of like having you in the super duper tournament of championships. I'm going to turn to him. Get some more cardboard. You're going to make another leader board. Brackets. Joint. Fuck. The one I'm thinking of is wrong. Why didn't you just say name that movie then?

Because Because I don't want you to win That's fair That's fair But I didn't realize the one I was thinking of Was wrong And if you think I'm stalling You're right

Would you like the whole description again? Can I hear the whole description again? Because part of it was And if you think I'm stalling, you're right. I didn't realize the one I was thinking. Would you like the whole description again? Can I hear the whole description again? Yes, you can hear the whole thing again. Because part of it was that I didn't, there's one thing that took me off of what I thought it was when I remembered you said that. Okay.

Sprawling, well-made Western about four unlikely comrades who joined forces against some very bad guys. This was from 1985, and it's the first major Hollywood Western in a long time. No classic, but offers ample entertainment by throwing in everything but the kitchen sink and never stops moving.

Just don't think about it too hard. Two. You just have to name the top two billed people. And the movie. In this Western. You could just randomly guess two actors. I would enjoy that. Right?

I don't really care what movie it's from. I think I remembered the name of the movie. Okay. Silverado. Perhaps. Some people in the audience think you're right. But who are the top build two people? This is where I think I don't are the top build two people?

This is where I think I don't remember the top build person for some reason. Take a cracky at it. Give it a go ski. Can I name the second and third build person? Oh, God damn it.

Name any two people that were in that movie. Okay, Kevin Costner and Danny Glover and Charlton Heston and John Cleese and a bunch of other people, but... Brian Dennehy. Brian Dennehy played the bad guy. That's amazing. You just totally leapfrogged over the top two names.

Named everybody else in it. Jeff Goldblum was in it. It was funny to see him in an old-timey Western. Just still in there doing his Jeff Goldblum thing. Just stuttery and lanky and so creepy. And western. Always wearing black leather gloves in the heat. Spurs on my horse?

Thank you. Thank you. My rare Jeff Goldblum impression surfaces. I was stuck on Tombstone. Yeah. And then the Kasdan thing got me off the top. Well, you know what?

I'll give you the point if you can name the top two people in Tombstone. That would be Kate Hudson's dad and Val Kilmer. Another one where Bill Paxton dies. Correct. Point for John. I will have you. He does. He does. Correct. Point for John. I will have you. He does. He does.

Yeah. Oh, the top two names in Silverado were Kevin Kline and Scott Glenn. Yeah. Disagree. You'll have to take that up with Mr. Malton at your annual retreat. Well, we know his opinions on meatballs. Talk to him about it at your annual retreat with Mr. Moulton at your annual retreat. Talk to him about it at your annual retreat with him. Sam, you're on the board once again with two.

Now you have two. Now you officially have two. I wish. How? Oh, Matt told him to name it. Keep getting fucked here, Doug. Not enjoying it. I keep trying to give you two points.

Yeah, just take the point, man. All right, just one, just one. Like I earned it. Oh, and that means Matt won the whole thing. Yep. All right. take the point, man. Just one. Just one. Like I earned it. Oh, and that means Matt won the whole thing. Yep. Alright. Thanks for coming, everybody. I hope this is the first episode some people listen to

of this show. Their first sampling of it is like, what the fuck is going on? This guy just gives points to whatever he wants. You can just change the title to Doug's Chaos Hour. What is this? Whose line is it anyway without the improv? Okay, so Sam has one.

John has one. Matt has two. Yeah. Hey. That's right. Totally. Mr. Bronge Metal. The bronze. That's right. Mr. Bronge Metal. The Bronge.

I won the Bronge. Le Bronge James over here. That might be a good album title for you. Yeah. Bronge winner or something. Shooting for the Bronge. Bronge or bust. Would you like...

Me, then Matt I love it when he gets like this when he sees a potential loss headed down the pike shit gets tense that's why five points is good angry chess master no no no I'm still in good spirits I really am

I really am. I really am. I was helping Doug out because it could take 10 minutes. We should probably take a moment just for the people listening at home to describe Sam's luscious beard. Oh. Yeah. It's luxurious. People at home don't really get it. It's true.

It's a sizable beard. Yeah, man. And it was trimmed this morning. In fact, I would call it fun size. You would be correct in that judgment call. That is a delicious beard, my friend. That beard is like the Rachel McAdams of beards. Don't get me started on red eye.

I don't want to be stuck on a plane next to her. A Red Eye? A Red Eye. Would you like... Yes? The Rice Storm. That's movies that have a wedding in them. Okay.

Narrows it down to about 7,000 movies. Indeed. Golden Showers Playbook. That's a favorite category of mine. That's movies that begin with P. Mm-hmm. The letter P. And then North Dallas 40.

You love this category, Sam. I do. You're such a gangsta. Such a malt liquor fan. Yeah, it's movies that have malt liquor in them. Let us try The Rice Storm, please. Okay, Rice Storm. This movie that's got a wedding in it is from 1967.

Leonard gives it four stars. He says about this movie that you'll see an actor that later went on to TV fame in one scene in a hotel lobby, and that you'll see another actor who became very famous in a rooming house. Yeah. Some weird clues. And then he also says, I want to give it away Two people wrote the script Oh it's movies The script is based on a novel And of course it's got a wedding in it And Leonard lists

Ten people Ten people Negative three Oh snap Wow Poor Matt. What are you going to do with that? You know it.

I hope that got picked up on the mic. No, take it away, Sam. Name it. All right, Sam. The film is The Graduate. And the three names are... Asshole. Should I keep going, or am I already wrong?

Yeah, three names. All right. I don't tell you whether you're right or wrong until you do your whole guess. Oh, fuck. Leonard. Nimoy, yes, that's right. I love the... All right.

I love the pretend struggle. This is a very difficult one I'm in fucking splash territory right now Anne Bancroft, Dustin Hoffman, Catherine Ross Okay first of all that wasn't me For the listeners And that's correct Yeah You did it And that's correct. Yeah! Yeah!

You did it. Thank you very much. Leonard's a tricky motherfucker! Read his mind! There's no reason for you to be angry right now. You're tied for the lead with Matt. John's bringing up the rear.

Can we all just take a minute? There's no way that your day isn't automatically better just by being in the presence of the beauty that is Jon Hamm and Matt Bronger. Just,

I don't care what kind of a day you were having. I don't care. It's better now. Your lives are better. Thank you, fellas. Thank you. Job well done. Yeah. Was that the full minute that you needed to take? I think I still

I think you have a few more seconds I will not cede the rest of my time to the floor Alright this is where we start getting into We're going to have some repeat categories And come back to haunt everybody We're going to start with John this time and go

to Matt again, right? John gets to pick between a feminist movement and that, of course, is... When a woman takes a shit in there? Yes. You see a woman on a toilet. She could be peeing.

She could be shitting. She could just be sitting there for some reason. Just hanging out. Thinking. You know, what's her name? Can't hardly wait when they're trapped in the bathroom.

I think she probably sits on the toilet at some point. Right? Yes, she does. Yes, she does. Lauren Ambrose. Yeah. Seth, Seth... McFarlane. No. Green, green, green. Yes she does Lauren Ambrose Seth Nick Farland

Green Alright no side games Okay so there's that And then we're back to our good friend Jackie Earl Haley Or the artist movies about painters Let's go with the painters You like the painters

Would you like a movie With a painter in it Or the artist movies about painters. Let's go with the painters. You like the painters. I just like pink. Would you like a movie with a painter in it from 1956, 1996, or 2000? quit driving around the stage and get off that little car tell us your answer who gave john ham this little car sorry guys i was in my Jetsons car. Stop that crazy thing. What? 96? 96? Okay, 96.

Two and a half stars from Leonard Maltin. He calls this movie meandering. He also says, though not uninteresting, He also says, though not uninteresting, and he also says that if you look at the right spot, if you look carefully, you'll spot Isabella Rossellini. Yeah. What did you say? He said magic eye the movie. What does you say? He said magic eye the movie What does that mean? Well I think he was referring to one of those fun magic eye posters

If you look at the right spot a picture comes out Of a seemingly random commercial dot Why do we see a dinosaur or a sailboat? Where the fuck's Isabella Rossellini? Doug you're not looking at the right spot I mean Isabella Rossellini is not a sailboat, is all we're saying.

She's not... I worry that that gentleman has a really peculiar form of Tourette's. Non-offensive things. Pants that fit! Sorry. I'm sorry. A comfortable shoe!

96. Yay. Two and a half stars. Better than average. And let me tell you how many names you got to deal with. Leonard lists 13 names. Has there been a single one given? To Matt?

This one will go to Matt. Has there been a single one given where anyone's actually gotten names yet? I don't think so. You just got one with three names. No, I just mean... It gets into negative names a lot. I'm going to say zero names. Zero, you say?

Yes. negative names a lot. This is the super tournament. I'm going to say zero names. Zero, you say? Yes. I'll say negative one. Ooh. Ooh, fuck.

I could have gone negative one. I don't think I can go negative two, Matt Brown, and name that movie. I think it's Pollock, Ed Harris. I love the noises in the- While the teeth getting sucked, I think I'm probably right.

No! I'm sorry. It's Basquiat. Oh! And did you think it was Basquiat? I thought it was Pollock And you couldn't name the second person in Pollock? I could not have Marsha Gay Harden I guess

I couldn't remember her name Well because you're homophobic And shame on you Yes he's totally scared of Hardons Jeffrey Wright and David Bowie were the two names. Wow. So I'm surprised when you're like,

I couldn't be two names because that would be... Isabella Rossellini's in that movie. Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Oh, yeah. She's in that Magic Eye painting on the wall.

She's just in a painting on the wall at a party. Wait a minute. I watched that movie for ten hours. You guys, what Doug just did there was made a reference

to the fact that there's a painting of the geeks and freaks and geeks on the wall. This is the end. At James Franco's house. It's the closest I've come to being in a movie with one of those guys. It's pretty awesome. I wasn't referencing that at all.

No, not even a little bit, Doug. So you got another point. I did get a point there. Yeah, you got another point. Sam has three points. This is exciting. I'm get a point there. Yeah, he got another point. Sam has three points. This is exciting. Yeah, I'm a bitch. Love it.

But John gets to start again. And that comes to me. To pick between Peter Shrinklage, movies where somebody shrunk. Rocky movies. Earthquakes. And I know what you did last. I know what you did last. Peter Shrinklage. He's going to Shrinklage.

Specifically, I'm going Peter Shrinklage. Would you like 1973? Yes Hold on, wait Or 1965 73 Okay Three stars from Leonard

And I dare say I will be very impressed if Negative names happens on this one From 1973 He he says, this movie is about a hard luck individual and that one actor in this movie is particularly funny in a sequence where something happens. I love those sequences.

So good. And it features somebody saying the classic line I've never seen anything like this In my entire illustrious career You put that in the review? Six names Six That's correct, six names Five names Six. That's correct. Six names.

Five names. Four. Bottom up or top down? Bottom up, right? Name it. All right, you get four names. Right. Matt, if you don't get it right, then the point goes to John,

which will be good. Keep things nice and even. So don't feel bad. But don't not try. No, I'm going to try. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I want him to try. I'll be very excited if he gets it. I was hoping for a different movie.

I'll be dead honest with you. Did not happen. I'm probably dead wrong. Your four names are Howard Cosell, Dale Haddon, Roscoe Lee Brown, and Tim Conway.

Tim Conway. It's a... It's a... It's a Dorf movie. No. A Dorf on what? He's never... He shrunk himself.

God shrunk Dorf. He didn't shrink. The Incredible Shrinking Man. Didn't they make a remake of that in the early 70s? Probably. Didn't they make it with Lily Tomlin, though? Incredible shrinking woman.

Yeah, I think so. That's the one I was hoping for. Oh, I see. Didn't happen. This movie also starred Jan Michael Vincent and John Amos. And it's called

The World's Greatest Athlete. Oh, yeah, of course. And Howard Cosell says, I've never seen anything like this in my entire illustrious career. Yeah, I knew that was going to be a tough one for you guys, but Jon Hamm gets the point. Yay. Two for Jon, two for Matt, three for Sam in the lead.

Sam looks like you're really thinking about something right now. Well, I mean, I don't know if the category is going to come back, so I don't want to say what I thought the other movie from that category was. Oh, good call. Yeah, hang on to that. We don't know the year either, do we? The category could come back. I gave you two choices. I jumped on that first one, though.

You did. The other one was 65. Oh, and the sequence that Leonard specifically mentioned with Tim Conway, Tim Conway gets shrunk at one point. Of course he does. And Leonard really liked that section. Well. He gets shrunk by a curse, like a voodoo curse.

And it's an interesting movie. I haven't seen it in a long time. Can't wait to watch it again. That had to be the genesis of Dorf. You mean like as long as he was shrunk and there was an athlete? Like I'm doing this great knee bit. I'm the world's greatest athlete.

Yeah. Did they shrink a set of golf clubs with him too? Probably. I mean, if you want something to do when you're shrunk. Can they make small golf clubs for children. This cord is a disaster. Fix your cord, but do it when you need to stall. Like, don't do it now.

Good thinking. There's no reason to stall right now. Who's up? Whoa, what's up? Yeah, Sam gets to start us off this time, right? Yep. And then we'll go to John. And Sam gets to choose between...

State your name and occupation. We already did Game Over Man. And Will Smith loves pussy. And in theaters now. Not a tough decision. Not that hard. Will Smith loves pussy. That's the category you choose?

Yeah, sure. I just thought you might just happen to be saying that. I do. I say it under my breath all the time. It's my mantra. 1998 or 2004? 2004. Two stars from... Two and a half stars, pardon me, from Leonard from this movie from 2004.

He says that in this movie, this movie has an interesting premise. And he also says that it was suggested by, in quotes, a short story collection. Yeah. And he lists eight names, eight names. I need water. Or you know what? Is Flanagan around? Can I get one of those Guinnesses?

That'd be awesome. Do you want another one, John? Negative two. This is quite a match we've got going here. Negative two? What do you know, the fucking dog's name? Oh, it's mic cord. Let's give John a second to untangle that mic cord. That thing is crazy.

No, that's not going to... Oh, if you put it on your neck, it won't help. Name it. Is it? No. All right, look, look, look. But if I'm fucking wrong, don't go jumping around. Oh, I'm going to celebrate.

I know you are. I know. There's no way to prevent against it. That's fine. What is it? Hancock, Will Smith, Charlize Theron. Wow. I'm not going to celebrate that because now I feel bad.

Thank you. Because people in the audience are like, no. Yeah. You're wrong, Sam So now I'm with you, Sam I'm against them Yeah, thanks, buddy But you did fuck up big time

Yeah, I know Yeah The movie is The movie is I, Robot Oh, yeah Top two names are Will Smith and Bridget Moynihan Oh, wow I thought it was I Am Legend So did I Yeah, that's why you said to think about the dog Bobot. Oh, yeah. Top two names are Will Smith and Bridget Moynihan. Oh, wow.

I thought it was I Am Legend. So did I. Yeah, that's why you said to think about the dog. Think about the dog. Yeah. See that, guys? It's kind of a rude thing to say about... I'm human. Oh, yeah, he's human.

Unlike the real Wolverine, when I get cut, I bleed, and it does not heal. No, he bleeds. It just heals fast. He just bleeds. He heals fast. All right, fine. All right. I think you saw what I was trying to go with. Bleeds all the fucking time. I think you saw, but fast. All right, fine. All right, I think you saw what I was trying to go with.

Bleeds all the fucking time. But I think you saw, but I think you understand the point I was trying to make or the analogy I was trying to go for. Just saying. That's all I'm just saying. It's like, he's...

There are so many things you don't have in common with Wolverine. All right, yeah. You could have picked a thousand of them. Hey, but you know what you have in common with me?

Three points. Bingo. Oh! We got a game. You should have gone with, like, Colossus when he's metal. Very true. That's fair. That's fair, man.

Or Shadowcat. Three for Sam, three for John, and two for Matt. Doot, doot! And Matt gets to start us off. Choosing between In Theaters Now, movies that are in theaters now, or

Golden Showers Playbook, that's movies that begin with P, or speaking of this is the end, Sam. I skipped this one the last time. This isn't the end. Movies where something happens after the credits have rolled.

Oh. Oh. Let's do In Theaters Now. Okay. I like that, the way you were intrigued by the last category. But not enough to pick it. And then didn't pick it. Oh, interesting.

Oh, I just threw a dart. I enough to pick it. And then didn't pick it. Oh, interesting. I just threw a dart. I don't like it. All right, this is in theaters now, so Leonard wrote a... Kind of surprised you would bring this category into the Super Tournament of Champions, Doug. Well, I knew that Matt would be playing. Oh, wow. It might appeal to him. And in fact, it did.

Yeah, no, he's right. And it was at the top of the show and I asked you guys if you'd seen anything. Nobody's seen anything, so it's really anybody's... I spent ten hours at the theater today. Okay. I didn't see anything. I was just

taking tickets. It's my job, guys. Things have been a little slow. The first line of Leonard's review is, what were they thinking? And then the last line is, I'm already doing my best to forget this misbegotten movie. It's already trying to forget it.

Yeah. After writing several paragraphs about it. Yeah. He wants it out of his life. Sure. And he names eight names. Okay. I think I'll do negative three.

John, how's your mic cord? It's very tangled, but I'm not even going to bother untangling it. I'll just say, you know what, Matt? I guess name it. GrownUps2, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, David Spade. Oh, so close. It was Lone Ranger. Yep.

I knew it was one of the two. Johnny Depp, Arnie Hammer Johnny Depp, Arnie Hammer And Tom Wilkinson And John is one away from the win now Oh snap And here comes some beer Thank you Do you want one? Sam's gonna get one too

Yeah Matt This is the perfect time Let them get drunk And just run away with this thing That's my plan Smart strategy Do you got any gigs Or anything coming up Matt

That you'd like to Again John Take the long sip When you're trying to think. Don't do it now. You got anything coming up where people can go see you, Matt? Yeah, I'm doing the Dad Boner show at the Bell House in Brooklyn on Monday. Carl rides again. Tomorrow?

Yeah. You're going to be really late. Yeah. Well, I'm leaving in the morning. Okay. Give us some things that are coming up in a few weeks. So people don't have to rush. I'll be at just...

So people don't have to hear this on Tuesday and build a time machine. Is next week too early? Ah, kick a Watts. Later tonight, I'll be... No. Is next week too early? I'll be at Just for Laughs in week too early? I'll be at Just for Laughs

in Montreal, so if you want to go on the site, they can find me there. Yep. For Canada listeners? Quebec. And,

John, you, what's the name of the movie you shot in India? A Million Dollar Arm will come out in 2014,

but also coming up in a couple weeks, Clear History with one Larry David. Oh, yeah. That looks nice. That's great. The aforementioned Kate Hudson, Danny McBride, Bill Hader, Michael Keaton coming back.

And, yeah, fun, fun, fun people. Yeah. Why not? Million Dollar Arm, is it like an unofficial sequel to Million Dollar Baby? It's part of million dollar baby like it's like one it's just the arm of the baby of million dollar baby it's a whole movie about hillary swank's arm she's dead but let's keep her arm let's take it to india Sam gets to pick Yep

How you doing buddy? I'm hanging in there I got my Guinness now That'll take my troubles away One more time You were right That is the way to drink it It's making your Poseidon beard all frosty

Oh, Lord of the Sea Speaking of beer North Dallas 40 Malt liquor in a movie. Or feminist movement, Lady Takes a Shit. Which was the working title of Lady Sings the Blues. She was on heroin, so it probably did happen at some point. Yeah, she shit all over the place.

on heroin, so it probably did happen at some place. Yeah, she shit all over the place. And... Rocky movies. Earthquakes. Let's go with Lady on the Toilet. The original title of Lady on the Water. Or the girl with the pearl earring.

I can't find it. What do I do with it? Which one did you want? The lady girl on the toilet. Oh, yeah, yeah. Here it is. Here it is. Settle down. All right.

Would you like a lady on a toilet? From 98, 2000, or 2010? 2000. Okay. Three and a half stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie where a lady's on a toilet. The year is 2000. He says that this movie won an Oscar.

He says that... He says, this one's from the heart. Yeah. There's so many movies out there that are not from the heart. They're from like the knee. Or the dick This one's all heart And he lists 12 names

How many? How many? Negative three Name it He says name it, he didn't even do the slow beer take Negative three. Name it. He says name it. He didn't even do the slow beer take or the... No, I'll just do it fast. ...mic cord thing.

We're not in a big hurry. Oh. We've got the venue until tomorrow. Oh, sweet. Oh, my God. It just went to John. So if I am wrong, this thing is over, isn't it? What?

Yep. Wow. John has four? You're going to be right. You feel confident. You feel confident, confident, dry, insecure. Raise your hand. Raise your hand if you're sure.

It is the damnedest thing, John, when you are talking and I'm not looking at you, I have the uncontrollable urge to buy a Mercedes and fly American. It's unbelievable. Good. It's unbelievable how that happens. Then something's working. Yeah.

What are your plugs, Sam? Do you have any plugs? Well, I was going to say do no harm on Saturday nights at 10 o'clock on NBC. But evidently last night NBC decided to not air it. Not tell anyone they were not going to air it. And so my Nana was very displeased. She got stuck with Bear Grylls for an hour. Sounds like they did quite a bit of harm.

Yeah. Yeah. So you think it's I don't know man Got done or just I don't know Temporary blip I have absolutely no idea NBC has not returned

Any of my phone calls Since they cancelled Freaks and Geeks What number are you trying? 1-800-NBC-TALK That's the one I have Okay It's you know It was 4th of July weekends

They probably didn't want to bring out the big guns Yeah I guess Yesterday Yesterday Oh yeah I can't explain it No I got nothing I got nothing either

I was really trying to find a reason why they would Let me just drink Alright Sam For the win find a reason why they would... Let me just drink. Alright, Sam. For the win, an entrance into the Super Duper Tournament of Championships. No, this is only if John... If I'm wrong, John is in. If I am right, the game continues, right?

Alright. Hey, I would love it if this were the winning thing. No, you wouldn't. it if this were the winning thing. No, you wouldn't. You have to win the right way. All right. The movie is almost famous, starring Billy Crudup, Francis McDormand, and Kate Hudson. In that order?

Yeah. Correct. Correct. John, did you ever see Kate Hudson on a toilet while you were working with her? Did you just mention her? Yeah, I did. And no, I did not. Okay. But I do think Sam is one hell of a tiny dancer On the highway

He never holds me closer Thank you Alright, so Sam has four, John has four And Matt gave up long ago And Matt is almost famous So there you go What's your That burns

What's one of your all time favorites Matt Movie wise I gotta say Probably if I had to pick one Would be Goodfellas. Probably number one. But Exorcist 3 is definitely slept on.

It's awesome. I'm not kidding. Three? Three. Does it have a colon and a subtitle or is it just three? It's just three.

It's just three. George C. Scott is amazing in it. He's hilarious. Yeah, it's based on the book Legion. Yeah. Alright. Legion?

Legion. Or Legion. It's based on the book Legion. Legion? Legion. It's based on the book Rash. The biopic of Jim Rash. I have an AIDS component. That book's skin tag. There's a commercial where they're like, do you have skin tags? I've never even heard that expression.

And it horrifies me. Alright, Matt, you get to pick a category. I'm like, I've never even heard that expression. And it horrifies me. Alright, Matt, you get to pick a category. Would you like movies that are Goodfellas or The Exorcist 3? Oh, you gave me that and I won. Do you want to hear the other categories? That one seems like right in your wheelhouse. Didn't The Exorcist 3 call The Exorcist 3

The Heretic? No, that was 2. That was 2? Yeah. Okay. Thank God that didn't come up in the game, gang. Huh? That's why

I asked him about the... Because I knew that the second one had a thing, but I didn't know the third one did. Sounds like it would've been

right up Werner Herzog's alley. What do you think it was? Like three eyes or... Yeah. And then there was also... Did you see Exorcist The Beginning? Oh, that was bad. Yeah. It doesn't seem like that.

Oh, they made two of them. That's right. Exorcist The Beginning Again, right? Yeah. I don't know about that. No? Okay, so Exorcist 3. The year is 1990.

Uh-uh. Two stars from Leonard. Wait a minute. From this movie where George Skiescott plays a police investigator. 1990. Uh-uh. Two stars from Leonard. Wait a minute. From this movie where George Ski Scott plays a police investigator. Inspector. I apologize. I apologize.

Inspector. And he also says that this movie shows strong evidence of post-production tinkering. Yeah. They did a lot of business. Probably true. Afterwards. A lot of looping. Yeah. ADR.

Overdubs. And he lists, in addition to George C. Scott, he lists... Are you getting a point? Ten names.

You're the first bidder, Matt. Bid ten, Matt. I didn't pick this category. Oh, you'd like to hear two other options? Yeah. All right. You're the dumbest player ever.

That's my character I'm inhabiting. I was just trying to catch you up. The next category is going to be movies that are good, fellas. What's the other one? All right, let's do it legit. Just for those that were wondering That was Exorcist 3 I'm gonna be honest, I thought it was Exorcist 2

I'm trying to lose fair here What? I'm trying to lose fair I love Exile and Guyville You would have still You would have still only had three points if you took that gimme. Thank you for the four people that got that dumb, dumb, dumb joke. Fucking run.

I was trying to give you a chance to catch up, but since you want to do it the real way, the hard way, you get to pick any category that you heard tonight. Let's do that. Let's give you that option. Okay, let's do... If you could remember one that you liked. We didn't do Rocky yet, did we? What?

The Rocky movies. Movies with an earthquake. Earthquakes. Let's do earthquakes. That sounds fun. Not real earthquakes. Those are terrible. North Ridge! Would you like a movie that has an earthquake in it from 1974 or 2007?

Let's do 2007. Okay, you should have gone 74 because it's earthquake. Ha! Yep. But from 2007 Three stars from Leonard Maltin For this movie that has an earthquake in it He says That the movie is about

Overlong He says it's Overlong. Leonard says that about every movie. First one tonight but yeah. And then he also says that this movie was Oh, he also calls this movie

Romantic. Oh, he also calls this movie romantic. Yeah, it has an earthquake in it. And he lists a bunch of names. 13 names? 12 names. I apologize, 12 names. That's not one of them. Wait, the movie's not called Jesus?

Yeah, Jesus is not... That was Jeremy Sisto. That was a TV show. Jesus with an exclamation point. Like, Jesus! Earthquake! It's a disaster film. It's like, so over the top,

it's literally called Taking the Lord's Name in Vain. John, you're up next. How many out of 12 names do you think you can do it in? Give me five. I think I might know what it is. Okay.

John. Trying to get a read on Sam. I'm just going to... You know what? Name that movie. Oh, fuck it. For the record, ladies and gentlemen, for the record, I was going negative two. Matt Bronger, you can do this.

I'll give it a shot. You have seen this movie. You have seen this movie. Okay. Your four names. Five. Five. Five. You have seen this movie. Your twelve names. Five. Five, five.

You have seen this movie. Your 12 names. Sean Hamm, you son of a bitch. Maybe you haven't seen this movie. Let's think about that. Ooh. Angel Devil. Everyone in this room saw this movie.

Oh, Sam throwing in an extra clue. Sam is giving an awful lot of clues. Yeah, Sam... That was a popular film? You really want him to get this right, don't you? God damn right I do. I was going negative two on this bit. There was another clue.

Cut Sam's mic for the rest of this round. Or, yeah, just drop it. That's good. All right. Here's your five names, Matt. Okay. Wow, this is weird. Is this a misspelling?

There are occasional misspellings in there. Bill Haber? That is a misspelling. Okay, what do you want to call it? It's Bill Hader. Okay. Kristen Wiig, Alan Tudyk. Good old Tudyks! is a misspelling. Okay, what do you want to call it? It's Bill Hader. Okay. Kristen Wiig,

Alan Tudyk, good old Tudyks, Jonah Hill, and Joanna Kearns. Jonah Hill, Alan Tudyks, Kristen Wiig, Bill Haber.

It's got an earthquake in it it's romantic and Overlong Overlong that's right Overlong my favorite my favorite Foo Fighters song Sam's really counting on you, Matt.

It's just, you know, well... I don't think you saw it, because now I'm confused. Yeah. No, I'm real confused as to what that movie is. It's a good category. I did a great job. Yeah. Real good job. Real good job. Should I write the winner on this thing? On your leaderboard thing?

The game isn't over yet. Oh, it isn't? No. Yeah, it is. No, wait, Matt. Matt, I'm going to send it telepathically to you. Oh, send it telepathically. This is interesting.

I'm going to look. He's doing something squirrely. What is that? It's just his face, Doug. He can't help it. The movie's not Wolverine. And yet he bleeds. Amadeus, what are you doing I'm sorry

I don't know it I'm sorry venture a god damn guess man just throwing words out angry Poseidon that's better what's a movie that... He doesn't get the point, but...

I don't know. Can you think of any movies that had an earthquake in them? Sure. Like Short Cuts had an earthquake in it. Earthquake did. 74. Maybe a real popular comedy from 2007. Wasn't there an earthquake in Magnolia?

No, just frogs falling from the sky. Right. Very similar. Nothing? Really popular comedy from 2007? No, just frogs falling from the sky. Right. Very similar. Nothing? Really popular comedy from 2007? Yeah, it's a popular comedy. Harold Ramis might have been in it. Who?

Harold... That's not a clue. Did somebody really knock on that door? Harold Ramis is here? Do we have a special... Could you open that door real quick, see who's knocking? This is the weirdest thing. I've never heard anyone knock on that door before.

They're locked. What can we do for you? Nobody? No. You know what? It was Elijah and we missed our fucking window. Or it was some girl

who knows we already got some trefoils or whatever the fuck they're called. Half eaten. I just feel like it's anticlimactic to say it now

but the rest of the names are Jay Borochel, Harold Ramis, as Sam mentioned, Jason Siegel, Leslie Mann, Paul Rudd, Catherine Heigl, and Seth Rogen. Knocked up. And knocked up. I didn't remember Earthquake.

The only thing he saves is the bong. He ignores his pregnant girlfriend. Oh, fuck, that's right. And he grabs the bong and saves it when the earthquake hits. Yeah, my kind of hero. But also my kind of hero, our winner, Jon Hamm, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen. The super champion.

You can't possibly compete against this kind of handsomeness. It's an unwinnable fight. Jon, well done. Let me just say, John, if I'd have lost to Matt Bronger, I would have gone home tonight and put my head in the oven. But losing to you, I'm only going to play in the rain from now on.

Out in the fields. Thank you. Now, when you say put your head in the oven From now on Out in the fields Thank you Now when you say put your head in the oven Are you talking like an easy bake oven? Because they're small and won't kill you Hang on Doug Is that some sort of short joke? No it's just that you're small Generally

Oh I see You're a compact individual You go to the gym a lot Why didn't you go with tiptoes For the shrunken movie? That would have been fucking great. Because he gets shrunken by like a ray or something? No, by idiotic

producers. By the will of God. By the script writer. But he just plays a weird sized guy, right? Yeah, I don't think he was like shrunk. Has anyone seen this movie, Tiptoes, by Round of Applause? It's incredible. If you have not seen this movie, do yourself a big favor and go home and watch it and spend every minute going, really?

Come on. No. And it keeps getting worse. And at the end of it, you will thank me because the movie ends and you're like, that's really how it ends. This was the greatest 90 minutes of my life. Yeah, that's right. That's my... Guys, it's the most ridiculous fucking movie I've ever seen.

Not one minute of it works. It's The Room, but with Gary fucking Oldman, Matthew McConaughey, and Kate Beckinsale. What? Somebody named Gary fucks an old man? Yeah! What? Yes. Is part of an old man? Yeah. What? Yes. Is part of what I win for winning this thing the ability to shut him up?

Oh. Look, I've got a quarter Guinness in me, John. I am three sheets to the wind now. It just looks bigger because you're carrying it. That's right. I only ever drink out of those little miniature hotel bottles that look bigger. Don't kick a man when he's small.

And full of beer. It's going to get ugly. Where's the donut person? Do you want your donut back also? Whatever. Whatever? Yes or no, Sarah? Do you want to keep it, John?

All right, she wants the donut. What happened? Should we read the name? No, you don't have to read that because you won. She does not get to name a shithead. She won all that stuff. Of course. I, of course, knew that because I'm so up on the rules.

And it was the best 90 minutes of her life. Is there a shithead on the back of your thing, Matt? Yes. Yes, there is. All right, perfect. I get that bag, too, though. Yeah, you get the other bag, too. Greedy.

Jesus. She wants all of her shit. To be fair, she was reminded by others. Do you want this piano also? You can have the piano. There you go. Yeah, you get the other bag, too. Greedy. Jesus. She wants all of her shit. To be fair, she was reminded by others. Do you want this piano also? You can have the piano. There you go. Congratulations, Sarah. Good job.

Sarah, you chose wisely. Wow, it's kind of tough to choose between these two shitheads. Which one to end on? I say you end on Greg's. Really? Oh. That was pretty good. They're both pretty good. They're both pretty good guys. Both good shitheads. Yeah. Good job on the

shitheads. Good job, Gene. One more time for all the competitors. Matt Bronger, Sam the Mam Levine, a.k.a. Little Wolverine, and the champion of the Super Tournament of Championships. That's right, sir.

There's nothing else to see. Get out. And as always... Wait, before you say that, can you just hug me real quick and whisper into my ear? And whisper into my ear Carl Weathers style, there ain't going to be no rematch? No. Okay. He's not going to do it, Doug.

Thanks for the update. As always, Florida is a shithead. And Miley Cyrus' teeth is a shithead. And Miley Cyrus' teeth is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.

There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.