Doug Loves Movies - Taylor Tomlinson, Dan Van Kirk and Chad Opitz guest

Episode Date: September 17, 2018

Live from The Improv in San Jose, Doug welcomes Taylor Tomlinson, Dan Van Kirk and Chad Opitz to the show. You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, I've said this to you guys before. The Bonfire with past and future Douglas Movies guests Big Jay Oakerson and Dan Soder from Comedy Central Radio is finally releasing their favorite clips as their very own Comedy Central podcast. You know, they thought, hey, if our show is going to be bootlegged, we might as well make it official. But hey, if our show is going to be bootlegged, we might as well make it official. Join Big Jay and Dan as they let you into the life of two stand-up comics with dad issues. Check out some of their best of episodes featuring Michael Che, Neil Brennan, and even Andrew Dice Clay. Subscribe now to The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Dan Soder on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or your favorite podcast

app. Enjoy the show! There's teeth, there's still not one that he won't see Those dot-a-bot movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is I Love Movies. Coming to you once again from downtown San Jose at the San Jose Improv! So excited to be back. Such a beautiful day outside. Thank you for coming in here. Thank you for being here. not thank you for coming here.

Keep it in your pants. Here we are in the beautiful, the majestic, the ornate improv. It's a beautiful comedy theater. And speaking of ornate, let me see some name tags. Brandon always delivers. He's got the Brandon Budapest Hotel, and he's got lots of faces on there, including his own many times.

They're all you except for Bill Murray. Okay. That's fair. Rambo, First Blood Part 2. Is that what that was called? But your name is Bo, B-A-U. What's this killing them softly? It's all twisted so I can't see the name.

Billing them softly. That sounds like it should be an ad for a cable company. twisted so I can't see the name. Billing them softly. That's that sounds like it should be an ad for like a cable company. Mission Tom Possible. Good job, Tom. M, Eric, and

Psycho. Good job, M, man, and Psycho. Good job, M, man. But yeah, there's lots of great name tags, and thank you guys for making the effort and bringing those, and good luck being chosen. Doug plugs. Listen to Doug Loves Minis for more deets on the free show I'm doing in Austin, Texas

during Fantastic Fest. Doug Loves Movies is back in San Diego at the American Comedy Company on Saturday, September 29th at 420. And Doug Loves Movies returns to the UCB Theater in LA on Tuesday, October 2nd. For all my dates and deets and links, go to

DougLovesMovies.com That's DougLovesMovies.com Yeah! That's GoToLosMovies.com Yeah! Woo! Speaking of which, I'm so excited.

We've got patched in, I hope this works, patched into the phone line here at the San Jose Improv coming to us from San Diego at the American Comedy Company. It's Eddie the Eagle, everybody. Are you there, Eddie?

Hello? Hey, Doug. Hey, how's it going? It's going good. That's good. It's just me and Michael. Who? Michael. He's holding the phone up

to my face. Who's Michael? He's the cleaning guy. Oh, okay. Yeah, because you got shows later tonight, but right now you're just in an empty comedy club. Yep, it's just him talking about his breakup.

He confides in you? That's all he does. He's here by himself cleaning, and he always says, oh, my heart will never mend. And one day I said, shut up, Michael. Is that what brought you to life?

Was his constant complaining about his life? I'm fueled by laughter and sadness. Those are two different types of fuel. Sounds pretty combustible. It is. It's also contagious. That's a lot of C words. Well, I'm looking forward to seeing you again

and sitting in front of you and doing my show on Saturday, September 29th, two Saturdays from today. I know, I can't wait. You're coming back and we're going to be reunited. Yeah. I'm glad you're excited about it. We're all excited, especially Michael.

What? I hope we bring some laughter to Michael's life. It sounds like he's very sad. He is. He's the saddest boy in town, aren't you, Michael? I'm not letting him talk. I really thought you were going to put Michael on the horn. No, I'm not letting him talk. I really thought you were going to put Michael on the horn. No, I'm not putting him on.

What did he say? He just cried one tear and nodded. He cried that one tear like an Indian looking at garbage? If you say so. I don't get out much. Is that a thing they do? It's an old TV commercial. Before your time or anybody else's.

But thank you, Eddie, for calling in today. You're welcome. And saying hi. Say hi to Michael for us. I will. He said he's bringing a poster to your show. Oh, he's going to bring a name tag? Yeah, he said it's just going to say, Boys Do Cry.

Oh. They liked it, Michael. They liked it. No, but it sounds like he doesn't understand how name tags work. He's got to work his name into it somewhere. Michael's Do Cry. Change it to that. Okay. All right, well, we're going to keep the line open, Eddie, his name into it somewhere. Michael's do cry. Change it to that. Okay. All right.

Well, we're going to keep the line open, Eddie, so you can listen to the show. I know you're, you know, just sitting there. Caw, caw! You're just sitting there in an empty club and you can also, you know,

chime in whenever you feel like it. Okay. All right. I'll be here. Thank you. Caw, caw! All right. So'll be here. Thank you. Caw, caw. All right, so that's Eddie.

We're going to see him again real soon. I brought a prize bag, a Ralph's grocery bag that I acquired in Los Angeles where I live. Ralph's, I purchased a $15 app store and iTunes Apple gift card to purchase premium episodes of Doug Loves Movies or one of my many albums

or buy something else with it. I can't stand over your shoulder and make you buy my shit, but that would be nice considering I paid for it. you buy my shit but that would be nice considering I paid for it I got a nice goodie bag from a local establishment called purple Lotus and yeah so I included a bunch of stuff that they gave me in the bag a pen pen, a lighter, a Tootsie Pop thingy, some rolling papers. And then I also brought a

cool wristband thingy that someone made for me and gave to me out on the road. And it says, what does it say on it? It says fortune, whatever that means. Sort of feels like they just took this off of a cat named Fortune and then gave it to me, but I'm passing that on to someone. Plus a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt and stuff brought by my three guests today who are all very talented,

hilarious comedians who are, as I like to say, in the neighborhood. One flew in special, but we'll get to all of that. You guys ready for the guests? Please give it up for Chad Opitz, Taylor Tomlinson, and Dan Van Kirk! Hot lineup.

Just look at him. What's that poster over there on the stage? Where did that come from? That's from you? And there are posters for me? Prize bag posters. Seems like you wanted them. Yeah.

I'm super into it. Here, Dan, if you could pass that down. But let's meet our guests individually, starting with our first timer today. Very happy to have her here. It's Taylor Tomlinson, everybody. Hello. Hi. Hello. Hi. Hi.

Headlining all weekend here at the beautiful, majestic, ornate San Jose Improv. You have to say all those adjectives beforehand. I think so, yeah. It's just such

a beautiful theater. And, you know, people that come to Doug Lowe's movies, they're smart. They know that, you know, that the bottom half of this theater

is where you need to sit to get your name tag chosen. So the balcony is just fucking empty. But Taylor is going to be headlining two more shows this evening? Two more tonight and one more tomorrow. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, so come out to those if you can. And yeah, of course, now I know your posters. I've given

some away on the show. And here's a few more. Oh, and you helped me out. You wrote all the info I need on here. Because on... Yeah, right? On Instagram, he's gonzo the nerd art.

Gonzo the nerd art. But he's got like a couple of Django Unchained and what else is in here? Venom and Star-Lord. Oh, Star-Lord. I want to see that one. How come there's so many Django Unchained ones?

The longer an answer you have, the better. We got 90 minutes to fill here. This sounds like a great story. Oh shit, I dropped one. Wait, they're all Django Unchained.

Oh wait, here's a different one. Oh, there's Star-Lord. That's neat. Yeah, so check out his stuff, you guys. He makes cool posters. Another one that you gave me that I still have in my bag to give away at some point is... What's his name?

Dark Knight Two-Face, yeah. Yeah, that one's scary to look at. I have it in my check bag. I didn't bring it because this was a one-night trip. But when it's in my check bag, when the baggage guys open the bag to look through my shit, when they open it up, that's the first thing they see. It's his crazy half-burnt face.

Yeah, so. I hope. I like to think that there's a bag check guy going, Oh! All right. Oh, wait. There's another one in there. It's all stuck in there, though. All right.

You're taking up too much of Taylor's time. This is Taylor time. Do you like movies, Taylor? I do like movies. Yeah? So you think you'd be all right in the trivia portion of the show? I don't want to say yes and then embarrass myself. I think I'll be okay, but we'll see.

We've got two strong competitors here with you today, starting with San Francisco comedy phenom, Chad Opitz, everybody. Hello. Hello. Happy to be here. Joining us again after your delightful appearance in San Francisco. Where I was crushed by the mighty Jeff Tate. Oh, Jeff Tate took you down?

Crushed me, dude. He's pretty good at that stuff. He's a good boy. Yeah, that's why they chant his name. You know? And also, it's hard to chant Opitz. It's true. It does not roll off the tongue.

Tate is much more chantable. It is. But thank you for being back with us again. You're performing tonight here as well? Yeah, hosting for Taylor here. Nice. The show's been awesome. You were here last night? Yep. How'd that go?

Great. Yeah? Yeah, they were both awesome shows. All right, cool. I'm asking like I don't believe you. Oh, did it go fine? No. Okay, all right.

You probably sucked. You're just putting on a good face. There's no reason to tell the truth. Tell the truth! And finally on the panel today, a man who, until just a few months ago, I thought

was Mark Wahlberg. It's Dan Van Kirk! Hello. How are you guys doing? Are you doing good? Look good? feel good? What? Nothing. Okay. How's it going, buddy? It's going great, my man. Yeah, I hear you've got a lot of

tour dates coming up where people can see you live and hear how you really sound like and stuff. I know. It'll be a great experience for all involved. Yeah, I have a first leg of the tour that's going to be in Texas starting this week. So that'll be Houston, Austin, Dallas, and then over to Baton Rouge and Louisiana.

And it will be announced. Fuck it, I'll do it here first. The next leg of the tour is going to roll through this area. I will be in San Francisco. I don't even have all the details yet, but I know it's going to roll through this area. I will be in San Francisco. I don't even have all the details yet, but I know it's going to be September, or I'm sorry, October, no. You know what, we're not doing it.

You really don't have any details yet. You know what, Dan? If you don't even know the fucking date, you don't get to do it. November 5th, so we'll be doing that then. Okay. Is it November 5th, or did you just kind that then. Okay. Is it November 5th, or did you just kind of give up and pick a date? I know

it's right before the election, because I'm like, man, I don't, if it doesn't go our way, I don't want to be on stage the day after the election. So I know it's right before then. So yeah, I'll be here, and all that stuff's at Dan O'Vean. You know what? Forget it. Maybe I'm better's right before then. So yeah, I'll be here and all that stuff's at Dan O'Vean. You know what? Forget it.

Maybe I'm better in a different voice. Well, you can, you know, of course you can hear Dan on the Come People Town. Yeah. It's a different variation. With the Scar Brothers. It's Come People Town with the Scar Brothers. They're evil, maniacal people. And it's a lot's come people town with the scar brothers they're evil maniacal people and uh

it's a lot of porn talk cause that confuses cause there is a show called come town oh yeah did you know that yeah yeah yeah there is

yeah it's a it's a entire show about people drenched in cum really yeah so it's hard

to tell what they're saying sometimes okay probably just thank you Really? Yeah, so it's hard to tell what they're saying sometimes. Okay. Probably just thank you. Thank you, Jesus. Oh, that's darker. You're a Catholic now.

Hey, they did it first. Don't be mad at me. All right. So, Dan, what do you got for the prize bag, dude? Dude, this is good. Yeah? Should I go to you last, then? No, I don't want to build it up like that,

because I'll probably flub the description. This is a... technically, it opened a little bit, but I would still say sealed 1989 pack of Batman the movie collector cards. Now, I have one rule.

If you win this and it has the picture of him crashed in the Batmobile and says bruised but not beaten, you have to give it to me. Because that is a real moment in my childhood that for some reason I've never forgotten, and I have not looked through these. I'm on the honor system.

You need to be as well. If bruised but not beaten is in here, do the right fucking thing and give it to me. Bruised but not beaten? Yeah, it's a picture right after he crashes. Oh! For the listener at home, Doug ate the card.

You going through them? Yeah, if it's in here, I'm just going to give it to you. Why do you got to put all that pressure on the winner of the prize bag? Can I have any Prince-related cards? Has there been a Prince one? Also, if there's a picture of Bob, I'd really like that.

Who? Bob! The henchman. You! I'm an easy man. If there's a Batman one in there, I would love that. No! Beef!

They're all Batman. What if there wasn't? Dark Knight was really important to me in high school. Boy, that gum looks weak. You know what? This is the shittiest piece of gum. If you win it too, and you're willing to eat the gum, let me watch.

That's 29-year-old gum. Did you see the most recent episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? No. Everyone starts chewing gum. It's like 20 straight minutes of watching Danny DeVito chew gum.

I love it. It's like the one where they all had wine mouth. Yeah. Alright, so I tried to put this back together. I did it. It's like the one where they all had wine mouth. Yeah. All right, so I tried to put this back together. I did not do a good job. But thank you for that, Dan. What did you bring for us, Taylor? Okay, so this area of town,

I thought there'd be more weird stores and stuff. There were not. There was one, but I walked in, and I felt like they thought I was going to steal something. So I left pretty quickly. I brought some brownie mix. Hell yeah. Yep. I thought about just getting brownies that were cooked already,

but I don't believe in handouts. So you gotta work for it. And then I got the Halloween edition of Good Housekeeping. Oh! I know, right? Featuring the ever gracefully aging Jamie Lee Curtis. Oh my gosh, she looks like she's

full of activity. I know, right? No one's stopping up Jamie. And then this, I went to the San Jose Museum and did not go to the museum. I just said, do you guys have a gift shop? And they were like, yeah. And I just said, do you guys have a gift shop? And they were like, yeah.

And I got some slime that you can mix confetti into on the top. Just really a real starter kit for the saddest night of your life. So whoever wins that, you're welcome. Hell yeah. Pass it on over here. That's a terrific bag you brought. Yeah, that's great. I love it. What do you got for us, Chad? Well,

firstly, some Burger King coupons. Once you actually ripped into little squares. Hell no. I tore them from a sheet because I wanted to keep a couple of them. There was like a double

bacon cheeseburger one. I was like, I'm not giving that out. It's too damn good. Look at that, $5 for a croissan'wich meal for two? Come on. Two croissan'wiches, two coffees, two small hash browns? Come on. That's an amazing deal. It reminds me of Christmas when my dad

slipped a sleeve of these into my stocking. I was like, this is $120 value. And then, because it's coming up on fall, we got Halloween time coming. I got a scary VHS tape of The Exorcist. Oh, wow. A special edition. You still got a VHS player. Hell yeah.

It's the 25th anniversary, which was 20 years ago. That movie's old enough to be somebody's uncle. And then I found on the streets of Berkeley, if you get bad dreams from that, I got a dream catcher. Oh. Yeah, straight from the streets of Berkeley. And then if you still can't get to sleep,

I got a can of Lagunitas Hi-Fi Hops with 10 milligrams of THC to help you get some sweet slumber. 10 milligrams. You're going to go fucking crazy if you drink that whole thing

in one sitting. You're going to fucking fly, dude. You're going to fucking fly, dude. All right, so all of that's going in the prize bag. Hell yeah. What about me? Somebody's going to win.

It's going to be three bags now, actually. So good luck to everyone. But before we do that, of course, I have a question that I like to ask everybody. We'll start with you, Dan. What was the last movie that you saw? Last night, I saw Predator. The Predator? Is it the?

I think so. Okay. The Predator. I saw The Predator. I think the original Predator was just Predator. Oh. And this time, that's the twist. They added the word the.

Yeah. Oh, and they also removed a scene featuring an actual sexual predator. I mean, how crazy is that? That the movie's called The Predator and then, you know, it turns out there was a sexual predator in the movie.

And now he's cut out. Yep, Shane Black just going for realism. Yeah, keeping it R. So how'd you like going for realism. Yeah. Yeah. Keeping it R. So how'd you like it, Dan? I enjoyed it. I will say, this should not deter anybody from seeing it, but just so you know, it is, I feel like it's heavily influenced by the Marvel Cinematic Universe of Let's Be Really Funny.

But it's Shane Black as well. Yeah. He just writes funny stuff. And Keegan-Michael Key and Olivia Munn. Thomas Jane. Very good. I was very surprised by his performance. Can I tell you something about Thomas Jane?

Tell me everything. Likes to go places with no shoes on. Really? Yeah. Like a premiere of a movie or something. He'll just show up with no shoes on. Was that why they did the joke that they thought he was homeless in Arrested Development? Yeah. like a premiere of a movie or something. He'll just show up with no shoes on. Was that why they did the joke that they thought he was homeless in Arrested Development?

Yeah. Guys, I'm done for tonight. Holy shit! No one else is rocked by this? Or is it a thing that everybody knew? No, I think it's a thing nobody cares about. Oh. So I think it's a thing that shows you

where people's priorities are wrong. Yes. People's priorities are fucked up. You should be thinking about Thomas Jane's feet at all times. There's a lot of winks and nods to the original Just Predator. But it's good.

I would recommend and enjoy it. Go in ready to just eat some Reese's Pieces and have a fun time. Okay, but can we say it correctly? Pretty sure we just did, Doug. Reese's Pieces. See? Isn't that better? No.

It's already too close to feces. See? Isn't that better? No. Oh, bull. No, it's already too close to feces. No. It should at least not rhyme. There is somebody who listens to this show or in this room that's going to make their new text notification sound you saying Reese's Pieces.

I don't think so. I do. Taylor, what was the last movie you saw? The last movie I saw was Crazy Rich Asians. We got one whistle for that. And everybody else is racist. Probably didn't see Black Panther in theaters either, did you? Wow.

I know. I've known this for years, but people who can't whistle are racist. No, I've known this for years, but people who can't whistle are racist. If you can't whistle, it's because you're a very horrible person. Did you like it? It was good, yeah. It was like a really well-done rom-com. My sister saw it, and she said that it was like watching an Instagram account, like a really well-done Instagram account, but it was like watching uh like an instagram account like a really well done instagram account but it was a movie because everybody's just like so hot and everything's like colorful and beautiful

it just you know it was great it looked like a hashtag like crazy rich asians and it's just like scrolling through it for an hour and a half are you are you a rom-com fan yeah what's your favorite one um so i want to know where this ranks for people because i haven't seen yet but i heard and a half. Are you a rom-com fan? Yeah. What's your favorite one? I want to just know where this ranks for people. Because I haven't seen it yet, but I heard it's very, very good. It is very good. I don't know that it's like, I'm not going to be like, it was like when Harry met Sally, but like more inclusive. Like, I don't feel...

It was just like very well done. It's a little different than when Harry met Sally. Like in Crazy Rich Asians, the line is, I'll have what that crazy rich Asian is having. Gotcha. Wait, how much is it? I don't want it anymore. Oh, yeah.

Take it back. That Asian is crazy. That's way too much to spend. Okay. Well, that's, yeah. I saw it. For some reason, it didn't really speak to me personally. It's, you know, it's two hours long.

Oh, that's a long outcome. Yeah, it's a little long for my taste. But, you know. It's a pretty movie. I'm happy that it's successful. It's a nice, light, pretty movie. Yeah. You know, it's frustrating to me that everyone sits around going,

oh, people will watch a movie with Asians in it? Yeah, they will. Dump Hollywood and black people and get it together. Just start making more movies for everybody. Whoa, people will watch a good movie? Yeah. That's what I'm saying, though, is it doesn't even have to be good.

I mean, people think it's good. I didn't, but... Did you not like it or did you not think it was good? I didn't, but... Did you not like it, or did you not think it was good? I didn't. It was rough. I had a hard time with it. I thought it'd be funnier. I thought it'd be more of a comedy. Oh. And like you said, it's more like an Instagram account. Yeah. Which are usually not

chock full of laughs. No, it's like nice to look at. Yeah. Sort of funny in the cast. Look at these pretty people. They're rich. They're successful. They exist. This look at. Yeah, look at these pretty people. They're rich. They're successful. They exist. This is real. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's like for the movie studios to sit around going,

I can't believe people would go see a movie full of Asian people. It's the most insane concept. Yeah, I didn't walk out of there going like, that was a lot of Asian people. I walked out going like, I got to make more money. Holy shit. I'm going to be I gotta make more money. Holy shit. I'm gonna be honest. I went in, I was just looking for an excuse

to eat Reese's Pieces, but that was a good Asian people movie. If these Asian people have taught me anything, it's that you have to make more money and have less babies. What? Isn't that a thing? Yeah, I know. Isn't that a thing? Dude, I know. Isn't that a thing? Dude, like Thomas Jane's shoes, that's a thing.

What do you think, Chad? I mean, not what do you think. We want facts. What was the last movie you saw? I watched this one called Autopsy of Jane Doe. I thought it was really good. I'd highly recommend it for a spooky time.

Okay. It's good for Halloween season. Yeah, we're racing into Halloween season. Yep. And we should start recommending scary movies. It's scary? I thought so. Okay.

It's a good creeper. Got Brian Cox in it, who I really like. Brian Cox is great. He's an awesome underrated actor. Yeah. Solid stuff. All right. That's it.

That's all I've got to say. That's your assignment, everybody. What's it called again? Autopsy of Jane Doe. Autopsy of Jane Doe. Sounds like she's dead already. And that no one knows who she is. Who is this Jane Doe?

I don't know. Well, turns out her name is actually Jane Doe. We've got to find out. That would be fucked up. It would be. I wonder how many Jane Does and John Does, like, when they die, people just don't know what to do. Yeah. We don't know who this guy is.

I exist, damn it. That's a corpse saying that? Yeah. I'm real, damn it. Read my toe tag. I exist. All right. Well, those are all great answers

to, you know, my great question. So now I have to say, turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin. We got name tags. Lots of beautiful name tags. People put some effort into it. And so I need each and every one of you, lady and gentleman,

to pick the name tag that you would like to play on behalf of. Just whatever one speaks to you, but definitely give everybody a look. Yeah. Physically grab it. While you guys do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Here's why I'm a big fan of simply safe home security simply safe is ready for anything that gets thrown at it even a donut like let's say a storm takes out your power simply safe is ready if an intruder cuts your phone line simply safepliSafe is ready. Say they destroy your

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name tag selection process. Everyone was very calm. I appreciate that. Nobody in the balcony got picked. I apologize to everybody up in the balcony. Who are you playing for, Chad? He's been chased, thrown through a window, and arrested.

Eddie Murphy is a Detroit cop on vacation in Beverly Hills in Trevor Lee Hills Cop. That's not Eddie Murphy, though. That's some white guy. What a twist. Yeah, you should have put over Eddie Murphy on that top part. I know, yeah. You should have just said, you know, Trevor is a Detroit cop.

Yeah. Still works, though. That's a good one. Are you a big fan of that movie? Is that what you picked it? I love Beverly Hills Cop. It's a good one. Yeah, it's fun.

Good job, Trevor. Yeah. Okay. What do you got there, Taylor? That looks like the best name tag ever made. This is, oh my God, I'm playing for, it says my cousin Nikki. So I'm guessing that's your name. It's on a My Cousin Vinny poster.

Whoa, oh, you got it. Okay, cool. And I picked it because it's got a whole bunch of shit glued around it. There's a Tito's bottle and a bunch of candy. And she glued two packs of Hostess donuts on it. You mean Donettis? Look at all that. Do you want this back after?

Or can I take? No, that's the idea. They bribed you into picking that name tag. Oh, dope. Okay, yeah. Okay, sweet. I was like, maybe if I pick this, I can score a Twix off of this. But I wasn't sure if you wanted it back.

Because this is a lot of work. And if you haven't gotten your Instagram photo yet, I don't want to. Or if you have some insulin issues, we got you covered. You just scored all of that shit. Oh, fuck. We're opening these Donuts, right? What's that? We're opening these Donuts up.

What did you say? Donettis. Are you having a stroke? They're Donuts. right? What's that? We're opening these Donuts up. What did you say? Donettis. Are you having a stroke? Continuously. You can have these when you say it correctly. How about that? Trevor didn't have shit on his. I know, I feel like we should not.

You taking a Reese's peanut butter coupe? I'm taking the Twix now. I've never seen a Reese's cup this small. It's a little phone. It's really tiny, yeah. That's adorable. So I got to have one of those. Yeah.

Oh my God, a new drink appeared on my table. Ta-da! That was super stealthy. What do you got, Dan? First time I've ever picked a name tag in the front row. I made that decision today. And I went with

billing them softly. That's a nice one. He works at a collection agency and he doesn't want you to know his name. Wow. I think it's Bill. That checks out. That checks out. That looks great.

That checks out. You have beautiful hair there, Doug. It's very good. Yeah. That's great. Look at you, Doug. I look great on that poster. Wow.

Wow. Yeah. You look so happy. I got Lords of Flatbush hair. It looks good. That is a really nice poster. Good job, Bill. Yeah, I liked it a lot.

Yeah. All right. So those are the people that you guys are playing on behalf of. And I've put together a series of games. And the first one we're going to play is Alex's Jason and Deb's IMDb game. Yeah, we haven't played that in a minute. In case you don't, I don't know if Chad's played this before. I know Dan has.

But Taylor, basically the idea is that everybody's IMDb page, every actor and actress, has four movies listed as best known for. And it's a weird algorithm. Lots of things go into determining what they're best known for. It tends to be things like, did it win awards? Did it make a lot of money? Do a lot of people click on it on IMDb?

And so basically the idea is I'll start listing off somebody's top four. And as soon as you think you know who the person is, buzz in with your own name. Just say Taylor if it's you Taylor. Dan and Chad don't say Taylor. And then I'll call on you.

But the idea is if you go in too early it could be a lot of different actors, especially in that first movie, could have a lot of different people could be the answer so be careful because it's negative one point if you guess incorrectly but you get bonus points for each

additional movie you can name that's in that person's top four once you're the first person in to get the name correct. You got this Dan? Got it. You're kind of looking at me like you don't remember I was just trying to talk myself out of eating half the things on Taylor's poster Got it. You're kind of looking at me like you don't remember. I was just trying to talk myself out of eating half the things on Taylor's poster.

You sure you don't? You want a quick snack before we do this? I kind of. I want a Reese's peanut butter coop. I'll take one too. You're going to do one too? Dude, we got a couple of coops. Delicious. A two cooper. This is got a couple of goops. Delicious.

That too, Cooper. This is building a community up here, Nicky. Thank you. I'm so glad there's no almond joy on there. Do it. Do it with all the things in your life. I'm here to cheek into the hotel. Okay.

Okay, here's the first round. And this is just between the people on stage. You guys have been a great audience so far, so I don't think you're going to yell out answers, but you never know. Who's best known for starts with Roadhouse? Roadhouse. Daniel. Oh, Daniel's buzzing in already.

There's a lot of people in Roadhouse, dude. I know. Which one do you think it is? Sam Elliott. That is correct. Oh! God damn it! Yeah, that's right.

That's right, Dan. Take a lap. Take a lap. Con of a bitch. Oh, my God. Wow. That was impressive, dude. That's right.

Alright, Dan. So that's... You get one point for that. And there's three more movies listed. Only Dan gets to guess. And I can't be penalized, right? Name three more Sam Elliott movies that he was in.

And for each one you match, you get an extra point. Oh, Tombstone. That was quite the battle of the mustaches, that movie. Is it in there? Or you're not going to tell me? You have to name three and then I'll tell you. Okay, Tombstone. Prancer.

Prancer? Tombstone. Prancer. Prancer? Prancer? That's the prequel to Roadhouse. Are we prancer? Roadhouse, tombstone. Or are we human?

Prancer. Fuck. I feel like there's one where he's like drunk with his shirt half undone Like yelling at somebody in a hotel room But I'm gonna I mean just for the sake of it Up in the air Right cause he's the guy that shows up when George Clooney

Gets a million miles No wait can I change it You haven't answered can I change one It just came to me I think your answer's locked in. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, all wrong. Big Lebowski

in there? The three they went with were Big Lebowski, We Were Soldiers, and The Hero. Okay. Well, that means we're just living in a world where enough people don't respect Prancer. Yeah. I don't know. I don't want to live in that world. Alright, but you got a point, Dan.

You're on the board with one point. Thank you. Here we go into the second round. And whose best known for starts with Machete Kills. Machete K. Machete kills. Daniel. Are you kidding me with this shit? I mean, I got a point to spare, dude.

That's true. You do have a point to lose. And you could lose it right now. What's your answer? Danny Trail? Incorrect, dude. Damn it! Yeah, you're knocked down to zero.

You're out for this round. Whoa! Yeah. This is just between Chad and Taylor. The second title, Sin City, A Dame to Kill For. Machete kills, Sin City a dame to kill for. All right, here you go. Third title.

Sometimes it's not films. Sometimes other things sneak in there. And in this person's best known for, their third credit is called Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce Telephone. What? Chad. Chad, who is it?

Lady Gaga? That is correct. Oh! Yeah! Okay. Okay. I was like, there's no way it's Lady Gaga. Right?

I was going to say Beyonce. Yeah, her name's right there in the title. One more title left, Chad, if you can name it for Lady Gaga. For Gaga? Mm-hmm. Oh, it has to have been released already? It has to be a thing, but it doesn't necessarily have to be a movie. Just has to be one of her... What is this, Doug Loves Music Videos?

I know, right? I think that's the first time a music video has come up as somebody's top four credits. Do you have anything else to guess? Yeah, Star is Born's coming out in October. But that wouldn't be on there, huh? That's what I was going to say.

The Star is Born trailer? Because that's pretty good. That could be it. That's what I was going to say. The Star is Born trailer? Because that's pretty good. That could be it. Yeah. That's fucking great. It's a great trailer. People like my voice, but they don't like my face. Yeah. What was it?

Oh, what was that? She had like a really big... That she just destroys. She had like a really popular music video that I didn't see. Damn it. It was someone's name. Alejandro. Is that it?

Alejandro? That's your guess, Alejandro? That's my guess. No. Ow! That's my roommate's name. She's been on American Horror Story. Oh!

Yes. It's a very popular program. Damn it, moron. Yeah. You're not into the occult. Her documentary's not on there? Like, the documentary that's about her? No.

That's interesting. Yeah. No, it is weird. Telephone's on there. They do try that's about her? No. That's interesting. It is weird. Telephone's on there. They do try to lean towards movies though. She has been in a couple of them. They didn't try hard enough. Right. Come on.

Anything Beyonce's in is basically a movie. Right? Just walking down the street. Should be one of her IMDb credits. Lady Gaga walking around. Grocery shopping. Beyonce, forgave Jay-Z

is the first one. He's in deep thought. Chad has one point. Dan and Taylor are bringing up the rear with all the not points. Who's best known for starts with Silver Linings Playbook? Taylor.

Oh, here we go, Taylor. What do you got? Is it Bradley Cooper? It's Bradley Cooper! Awesome. Cooper-duper! So you can really, you could take this home if you

can name any additional Bradley Cooper movies. You get three guesses. Okay. Alright. I'm going to say... What was that one? Limitless. Limitless.

Okay. The Hangover. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, there's three of those. Yeah. I was going to say The Hangover 2. I've seen weirder things.

Yeah. Part of me is like, Is it The Hangover 2? But I say Limitless, The Hangover Doing great What's your third one? I kind of want to pick another Hangover Just because of that music video thing I'm going to say Hangover 2

Okay All incorrect Really? two or hangover three i'm gonna say hangover two okay all incorrect really oh wow yeah they went with american sniper american hustle oh okay and that reminds me i'll be at the american comedy company on september 29th and uh and then guardians of the Galaxy, the original. What? Now known as Volume 1. Because he's the voice of one of the greatest characters that's ever lived. I'm going to email IMDb after. Yeah, you should reach out to IMDb.

You gotta love a talking animal. What? I'm still here. Oh, you're there. I forgot you were on the line, Neddy. It's always good to hear from you. So that means that Dan, sorry, buddy, you are out. Taylor and Chad each have one point, so we need to do a tiebreaker.

So good luck to both of you. And like I said, Dan, just hang out over there. Okay. If you yell out your own name, I will not call on you. But we will all note exactly when you yelled it out. Okay. You know what I mean? Yep.

In case you want to show off. Yep. No, I got it. Okay. Who's best known for starts with The Adventures of Ford Fairlane. Oh. And then the second title, Blue Jasmine. Chad.

What do you got, Chad? Andrew Dice Clay. That is correct. Don't even need to have you guess more movies. If you can, if you want to. Any other Andrew Dice Clay vehicles you could think of? Brain Smasher, A Love Story.

That's really a thing? That's an actual movie title. Wow, I want to see that. Starting him and Terry Hatcher. Is the full title Brain Smasher, A Love Story? Oh! Oh! You're unbelievable.

What else you got? Dice Rules They went with Entourage and Pretty in Pink Pretty in Pink? Yeah, he's a bouncer I didn't even know that Yeah, he's a bouncer outside of a bar or nightclub place Alright, so that means Chad won that game

Everybody It's for you Trevor But there's so much more ahead of you game, everybody. It's for you, Trevor. But there's so much more ahead of you that you have to accomplish today, John. True. Now, how did we do with the, uh, did anybody bring donuts today? Well, there's some on this board. Well, there's Donetti's, of course.

Those are super messy. Okay, that was dismissive. Super messy. They're still donuts, they're just smaller. I'm just not, I'm not a fan of those little powdered donuts, but I just wanted to double check. There's a chocolate one. Oh, okay. Are you into that?

Yeah. No, super into that. Give me. Because the last time we did Doug Loves Movies here at San Jose Improv, there was a miscommunication, and lots of people brought donuts, and they all got confiscated at the front door.

Yeah. Because, you know, it's a nightclub where you're not supposed to just bring donuts. Don't want to live in that world either. Right? I mean, every nightclub should just be people showing up with donuts. Yeah. But wouldn't they be cool if a bunch of people brought donuts? Right?

They do usually. Wouldn't they figure there'd be a theme or something like that? No, yeah. That's what's funny to me. They're like, hey, somebody came up to me and said, hey, we've got a whole stack of donuts for you. Because they just assumed people were bringing them as an offering to me directly. Like, Doug, we've got all your donuts.

We put them on the altar. Yeah, they don't realize that I want the donuts to end up on stage and then I want to throw them into the audience. As I'm about to do right now. Who would like a little chocolate Donetti? Open your mouth! Yeah! Oh, you just did! Look at that guy. He does that like a pro chocolate Donetti. Open your mouth. Yeah. Oh, you just did it.

Yeah. Look at that guy. He did that like a pro. Oh, shit. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, shit. It fell on a baby. That really landed on a baby?

A casing cracked its skull. I should have picked that name tag. Who else wants one? Eat it. Do you want to throw one, Chad? I just like watching people go hand-to-hand-to-mouth on these donuts. I'm going deep back there. Third row.

Oh! Anyone get it? Eat it? Let's let Taylor and Darren throw one. Have a toss. Ooh, they're melting already. Ooh! Yeah, just try to throw it right in.

That was a safe bet. Good job, Brandon. Just throw it right into somebody's mouth, Darren. Wait, that's your mouth you just threw it into. Caught it. Come on mouth you just threw it into. Caught it. Come on, you better eat it. We're going to share this together. Ready?

You get it? Did you eat it? I love you. All right, great job, guys. Uh-oh, what's Dan doing now? Dan ordered an orange juice, and now he's being creative. Wait, you're not allowed

to put your own Tito's in that. What? What, is it a donut? It's against... What? It's against the rules. Can't put it in, can't bring a donut in here, can't start making grandma's grandma's medicine.

Can't just help grandma get through the day with these goddamn kids. Oh, grandma just needs a cent. Oh, grandma just needs a sip. Hand me my Reader's Digest and let's go to bed, kids. That Little Reese's was really good.

Very. Yeah. I wish they'd make... I think Reese's cups should be really tiny. Oh, yeah. Oh, there's one more. Even smaller than that. No, I'm good. I'm full.

I want them to be even smaller. Uh-oh, there's one more? Even smaller than that. No, I'm good. I'm full. I want them to be even smaller. Uh-oh, he's throwing it. Oh, right there. Front row. Hey, Chad, maybe check the stage? I'm sorry! Shit. Sorry. I'm over here hands up, buddy. I thought you'd passed out already. For the listener at home, Chad has given away

all the goodies. Yeah, sorry. No problem. Dan's drunk already. Grandma's fine, kid. Start the car for me. You got to blow into it, then we'll start it. Chad gets to go first in our next game. It's called, whoseline Is It Anyways?

I'm going to say the tagline from a motion picture, Chad, and you get one guess and one guess only of what movie it is. And if you don't get it right, then we move to Taylor and then to Dan. And, yeah, you each get one shot at it if nobody gets it we'll reveal the answer we'll move on to the next one Chad what movie had the tagline sometimes one dream is enough to light up the whole sky. Sometimes one dream is enough to light up the whole sky. Nightmare on Elm Street.

Sometimes one dream... You know what? This almost sounds like Prancer. Doesn't it? This is a callback to... Sometimes one dream is enough to light up the whole sky. Oh, man. October sky?

That is correct. Oh, baby! Oh! What the? Damn. All right. Chad's on the board. You get to go first on this next one, Taylor.

What movie has the tagline, Misery Loves Family? Misery Heart Family. Is it... I might be wrong. Is it The Family Stone? The Stoned Family? No, The Family Stone.

That's a movie. Yeah, Stone? No D at the end. No, no, no. Family Stone. Stone. No D. Yeah.

It's wrong either no, no. Family Stone. Stone. No D. Yeah. It's wrong either way, probably. And then there was like I Heart the Coopers or something came out a couple years later. It seemed like the same movie. Yeah. But Diane Keaton didn't die of cancer. She lives through the whole thing.

But she loves Christmas movies. That is incorrect. Yeah. No, I got that. It's a really good guess though. That tagline would fit perfectly for that movie. Dan? Misery loves family. Home for the holidays.

Oh, another great guess. Thank you. Not the correct answer. Is it Hills Have Eyes? Just one guess. Damn it. Chad? Yeah, I was thinking

like Texas Chainsaw, personally. Misery loves family. Oh my God. I should mention because Taylor hasn't played before, that themes emerge in this particular game. Okay. Okay.

So the last one was October Sky. I don't know anything. So maybe this one is Vanilla Sky. Oh! That helps me. Not at all, but okay. Misery loves... Oh, my God, dude.

Oh, okay. There's so many things. Maybe it's the cable guy. Cable guy. Misery loves... Man. Misery loves family. Matilda?

I don't know. I don't know, man. That's one of the better guesses I've heard. You said Danny DeVito earlier, and my mind can't get him out of my head. Matilda. Your mind should never leave Danny DeVito. It's hard. It's hard to.

This was kind of a tough one, I must admit, because it was a little scene movie that was pretty ambitious, but didn't work out. It's called August Osage County. Oh. Oh. Yeah called August Osage County. Oh. Yeah. August Osage County. Okay.

All right. So that means we are back to Taylor to start us off again. What do you think is, what movie is this tagline from? In the harshest place on earth, love finds a way. Oh, damn it. I know what this is. Me too. In the harshest place on earth, love finds a way. Oh, damn it. I know what this is. In the harshest place on earth, love finds a way. Oh, this is so frustrating. Of course, Jeff Goldblum

famously said, life finds a way when talking about chaos theory. Is this March of the Penguins what that's actually really clever you know what you know it's wrong impossible for you ever to get enough credit for that joke I'm'm not, I am not fooling around. What did you say?

I said March of the Penguins. That's correct. Oh! Yes! Oh! Fuck yeah! Guys. You should all go outside and pay double for your ticket.

Wow. That was fucking beautiful. It was art. That felt amazing. That felt like when I guessed my boyfriend's middle name after only hearing it once. That is a good feeling. It felt really good.

How can I trick this person into telling me their birthday again? Exactly. But when was that one time you heard his middle name? He told it to me one time, I think, and then I forgot. You just couldn't hear him through the pillow or something? All right, so that means that we got two players on the board. Chad and Taylor both have a point. We start with Dan on this next round.

Dan, you have a chance to make a three-way tie and participate in the tiebreaker. Okay. What movie has this tagline, Dan? Oh, and let me recap. October Sky, August Osage County, and March of the Penguins. Right.

There's only two I can think of pre you giving me the line. What movie had the tagline, three relationships, three disasters, one last chance? So yeah, so this fucking tagline is full of math. I don't know why they think anybody wants to figure this puzzle out. Can you give it to me just one more time? Three relationships. Okay.

Three disasters. One last chance. Man. Man. Got October Sky, Argus Osage County, March of the Penguins, and... Benny and June.

Dude, that was a great guess. I believe that's two people in two disasters. Fuck! Chad, what do you think? Hmm. Three relationships, three disasters, one... No, it's one disaster. Oh, one disaster.

Three disasters. Oh, shit. Three relationships, three disasters. Wait, it's got to be your bowl. One last chance. Three relationships, three disasters. Wait, it's got to be your bowl. One last chance. Three relationships, three disasters, one last chance. Gary Marshall's Fourth of July. Okay,

that's not a thing. I know. I don't know what it is. Unfortunately, he passed away during pre-production. That was a holiday he didn't get to. In his time. He only managed to do three of them, I think. But I'm going to tell you. Oh, wait.

Taylor gets to guess. Three relationships, three disasters. One last chance. Yep. If that were the game. If the game was repeated back, then you nailed it. I don't know. I really don't.

It's a tough one. What's eating Gilbert Grape? He's got his brother, his mom, and that lady. No, I mean, like, that's what's funny about that title is there's plenty of things that are eating at Gilbert Grape. Like, he's got a lot to deal with. Not to mention the fact that he's Johnny Depp. He's got to deal with that.

This was a tricky one. You know, I mean, I thought March of the Penguins was a tricky one. And you figured that out. But this movie is called Definitely Maybe. Definitely Maybe. All right, Dan, you got to sit this out again. All right. You're not on the board.

We have one tiebreaker. Okay. I'm going to say this tagline, and you guys both can guess as often as you like until somebody gets it. You don't even have to wait your turn. We've got October Sky, March of the Penguins, August Osage County, definitely maybe, and this final tagline for you to guess as often as you like.

A story of innocence lost and courage found. Prancer. Okay, let me see if I see how that fits in October sky March of the penguins

August Osage County Definitely maybe How does that one fit in? May be You scamp Alright I'm going to say the line again, and then I'm going to just start giving clues. I'm going to start saying things that I know about this movie.

Okay. And you guys can guess. A story of innocence lost and courage found. August Rush. Oh, great attempt? No. It stars the lead character. It's based on a real person. And the lead character's name is

Ron. Oh. Anchorman. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. His last name isn't Burgundy. It's Kovic. And he's in a wheelchair. Come with me.

Born on the 4th of July. That is correct. Come with me. Born on the 4th of July. That is correct. Chad got it with Born on the 4th of July. I almost got it the last time. Yeah, right? Yeah. It's an amazing piece of trivia, too, that Tom Cruise was born, in fact, on the 3rd of July.

Wow. Yeah. Very interesting. Thank you, Chad. I really appreciate adding that after my boring piece of trivia. Very interesting.

For the listeners, he was also smoking from a pipe and looking really smart. But you did win that game, Chad. Congratulations. Congratulations. Now we are cruising into the final game that's going to determine it all

and it's a little something we call Last Man Stanton. I will get a pre-chosen audience member to tell me the name of an actor or actress. Occasionally we do director, but that's a lot tougher. Actor or actress, and then you guys take turns naming movies that person was in. I like to play along.

That's why I don't know who it's going to be in advance. Where is Johnny Danger010? Hey, dude. Where is Johnny Danger 010? Where? Hey, dude. Why the 010 at the end of Johnny Danger? There's a previous Johnny Danger? All the other ones. 999?

0 through 9 were all tickets, so you had to go 010? Interesting. Did you know? Speaking of things that are interesting, did you know that Tom Cruise... Is your last name really Danger? ...was born... Danger is his middle name

That was pretty good I was fucking with that March of the Penguins joke That was so good That was the real title though And his last name is Us Curves So Johnny what do you think What's a name for us to use today Danny

Danny Danny do you think? What's a name for us to use today? Danny. Danny Trejo. Who of course has been a guest on this show. It was a delightful guest. I haven't tried to get him back because he also had a look in his eye the whole time like

I'm lucky to be alive. I'm lucky. I'm lucky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know what I'm lucky. I'm lucky. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wasn't. Yeah, you know what I mean. Danny T.

All right. We have played him once before on the show. Not an easy one. So that means we have to go back into the crowd and get a second name so that we can, you know, actually have a game here. Where is La Bruche?

La Bruche. Where? Oh, hey, La Bruche. What does that mean, La Bruche? It's a nickname from your last name? Is your last name La Douche? Can you say your last name or do you want to keep it secret? La Brucherie.

Ha ha ha ha. All right, La Bruche. What's your actual first name? Travis. Okay, Travis. That's a great name. Do you have a luscious mullet? Yeah, that's what I was wondering, too. Look at that.

Oh, man. Look at that mullet. That's a lot. That is a lot of party back there. Yeah. That's a house party. There's a small amount of business up front. Mm-hmm.

And a lot of party. Yeah. It's almost a fucking festival. There's a party amount of business up front. And a lot of party. It's almost a fucking festival. Massive party in the back. Andrew W.K. wrote a song about that guy. Party in the front, Bonnaroo in the back. So people just stay for the nice quiet party. You don't have to mess with Bonnaroo. What do you think, LaBruce?

You got a better name than Danny Trejo? Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise, okay. Coincidentally. All right. I should recuse myself because when it comes to Tom Cruise, I feel like I'm unbeatable. I think we just used his name recently, too.

But let's see what happens. Maybe I'll push myself to try to come up with Danny Trejo movies. Danny Trejo's been in like a hundred movies, but he always just kind of comes in, you know, threatens someone. You know, gets into a fight. He either dies or he kills the person or something.

But we did already mention one of his movies earlier in the show. All right, so Chad won that last game, so he starts us off, and then we'll go to Taylor and Dan and me, and you get one lifeline, you guys. You can go to the person on your name tag one time if you can't think of a Trejo or a Cruise movie.

Chad, get us going. Mission Impossible. Chad, get us going. Mission Impossible. Okay. Mission colon Impossible. It's the weirdest. Those Mission Impossible movies have the weirdest title. Because it's basically like saying

the title of the movie is Mission. It's also Impossible. We should also add and by the way, an impossible mission at that. Taylor? Top Gun.

Okay. Interesting move. Dan? Born on the 4th of July. Yeah. Born on the 3th of July Yeah Born on the 3rd of July Jerk I'm just gonna go ahead and say Machete Kills

I'll say Machete Just straight up Machete Machete Now I saw Machete Kills, and I think I even asked Danny Trejo about this. I forget what his answer was. But in Machete Kills,

half of the characters refer to him as Machete, and the other half refer to him as Machete, and Danny Trejo uses both. He's adaptable. Because he's bilingual. Thank you for finally clearing

that up for me. I promise when we go to the show, I'm not going to talk. But if there's any bilingual conversation, I'm jumping in. I'm jumping in. Taylor? I'm scared. I don't... I think... I think I know who Danny Trejo is.

Danny Trejo is a scary Mexican. Okay, Spy Kids. Spy Kids. That sounds like a Trump quote. No, I've never seen Machete, but I'm like, I know the guy from that. We're building a wall to keep out Machete. Oh, no.

We need him now more than ever. I said Spy Kids. Machete, chop down that wall. What? Spy Kids. Yes. Very good. Was the first Spy Kids, it didn't have no subtitle? It was that did have no subtitle it was just spy kids yeah it's just spy kids okay straight up straight up that'd be a good name for a spy kids movie

spy kids straight up dan uh con air okay there we go yeah that's a good one. Is it me again? Okay, so I'm going to say, you know, because no one else has said it. It's kind of just laying out there. Mission Impossible 2. Chad? Rain Man. Okay. Taylor? Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol. Okay. Taylor?

Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol. Yeah! I got too much credit for that. I like that. Dan? Mission Impossible Rogue Nation. Oh! RN, I like to say.

Which sometimes people are like, there's one called Registered Nurse. Okay. I don't know why we skipped it. Mission Impossible 3. Wait. I can't remember which ones have subtitles and which ones don't.

Oh, well, the first three don't. Chad? Did you pick Mission Impossible 3? Uh-huh. Okay. Vanilla Sky. Oh, okay. You mentioned that earlier.

Yeah, we did. Thanks for that. Hot tip. Lots of Tom Cruise movies come up. Taylor? Eyes Wide Shut. Yes. Dan?

Vanilla Sky. What? He just said it like two seconds ago. Vanilla Sky. He just said it like two seconds ago. Vanilla Sky 2. Vanilla Sky Ghost Protocol. I was so deep in thought of trying to think of one. Not a bit. I didn't hear it.

Then I will go with Risky Business. That's a good change up. Because sometimes you just got gotta say what the fuck. Okay. I'm just gonna say it because it's funny. Mission Impossible. Fallout. In theaters now.

Chad. Jerry Maguire. Oh yeah. You had me at Jerry. Lost me at Maguire. Oh, yeah. You had me at Jerry. Lost me at McGuire. Taylor? Oh, my God. I'm thinking of two, and I can't remember the names of either one. Ooh.

I'm really blanking out here. Interesting. Well, you can go to your lifeline. Yeah, Nikki, help me out. Nikki? From Dusk Till Dawn. That one. That's a Trejo, yeah.

I was like, I would have never gotten that. Really long hair. He's a vampire, right? Yeah. Good job. Dan? Yes. I will go with...

So many Tom Cruise's left. I agree. There's a few Danny Trejo's left. Uh-huh. Did anybody say Days of Thunder yet? Nope. Then I agree. There's a few Danny Trejos left. Uh-huh. Did anybody say Days of Thunder yet? Nope. Then I will. Thank you.

I'll go all the way back to the beginning of Tom Cruise's career. Come on. Don't do it. His first big screen appearance was in Endless Love. Really? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Chad.

American Maid. Whoa. That was interesting that he played a maid. It was. It was a sequel to Maid in Manhattan. They're like,

we're swapping out Lopez for Tom Cruise. Oh, I would love to watch Ray Fung's American Made, Made in Manhattan. Robots, Tom Cruise. That'd be great. Taylor? Interview with a Vampire.

Oh! Oh! Now that's a perfect example of somebody who comes back after using their lifeline because you're just paying attention, thinking of other Tom Cruise movies, wondering still who Danny Trejo is.

Danny Van Kirk. Yes. What do you got? Magnolia. Oh, of course. I'm going to go back to I just love to go early TC. Come on, man.

I'm saving these. You're saving the early TC? Yeah, dude. Are you saving the outsiders? Yes! God damn it! I like them a little deeper. I'll go with The Firm. The Firm, yes. Possibly the first time we got to see him run in a suit. But it wouldn't be the last. Doug, stop using all those pre-dental work Tom Cruise movies.

He's so good at running. Oh, that helped me think of another one. Damn it! Taylor? I am trying so hard to remember the one he did with Emily Blunt. Oh, yeah. I can't remember the name of it. The tagline was like

live, die, repeat. It has tomorrow in it, I think. Yeah. Audience, shut up. Audience, stop, sir. Don't mouth the words to her. Yes. Is it? Yes word to her. Yes. Is it?

Yes, it is. Oh, my God. Taylor, as soon as you don't say it, I'm going to. I know. Damn it. Oh, this is so frustrating. I want to say day after tomorrow, but I know that's not right. Right, right.

You shouldn't say it if you know it's not right. It's driving this guy crazy. He's going nuts. You're like the inside of my brain right now. It's also wearing a matching tie and vest. Show everybody, Brandon.

Just shaking. It's beautiful. It looks great. Darth Vader. Darth Vader. Can you stand up again so I have more time to think of it?

Oh, God. Is it like... You're not thinking of Edge of Tomorrow, are you? Yes. He gave it to you as a friend. I know. I'm out. What's your answer?

Edge of Tomorrow. That's correct. Yeah! This is going to happen when it comes back around to me again. Dan? Tropic Thunder. Yes. Do you mind if I go early again, Dan?

Yeah, go ahead. Did you have Losing It? Yes! That's what I was going to say. Losing it. Losing it. Losing it. Losing it. Losing it. I'm going to say badass.

Danny Trejo. Yeah, okay. You sitting on Trejo's? Yeah, dude. We're back around to Taylor. Jack Reacher. Yeah. Yes Reacher. Yeah. Yes.

Yes. God damn it. Dan. Billing. Oh, he's going to Bill. You ready to do this? You going early TC? He said legend, dog.

He said legend. He went legend. Yes, yes. I was sitting on that legend. Oh, man. Man, if on that legend. Oh, man. Man, if he didn't... If he wasn't able to successfully help you like that, I bet you Bill

would sit there wishing he was far and away. Damn it, dude! Oh, my God! That was... Doug, I'm sitting on these. Wait, you went to your lifeline while you're sitting on Far and Away? Hey, isn't a good strategy to sometimes go mid to early on that lifeline?

You're right. You're right. Yeah, that's why I did that. See? Taylor knows, dude. She's fucking running a game. She's running a game over here, dude. Shit.

Chad. Badasses on the Bayou. Oh, really? Yeah. That's the sequel? I think that's the third one Bayou. Oh, really? Yeah. That's the sequel? I think that's the third one. Wow. Oh, wow.

You're a regular expert on these. Every Danny Trejo movie sounds like a porn to me. Badasses on the Bayou. Some of them are. Some of them are. Kills. Shit. Okay, well, hang on a second.

Let me think. Oh, yeah. Cocktail., hang on a second. Let me think. Oh, yeah, cocktail. God damn it. Wait. You just went out of order. You went way out of order. Yeah, was it my turn? Oh, I did?

You did. Oh, I'm sorry. Was it my turn? Taylor, do you have anything? Cocktail. Cocktail? Fuck! Is that a good strategy?

To disorient Doug? Okay, good. You didn't even have to do anything. I know. It just happened. Just thought real hard near you. Dan? Day and night.

Oh, yeah, day and night. Oh, shit Nicely done Wait that's not what it's called Yeah it is Oh so it's night and day Oh Isn't it What is

Wait Hang on you guys What are you saying I would like to say Jack Reacher never stopped I don't know I don't know Stop

Settle down everybody You've said two things incorrectly Pick one of them And then say it right Settle down, everybody. You've said two things incorrectly. Pick one of them and then say it right. Night and day. Yeah. And spell it. Oh, shit.

K-N-I-G-H-T-K. We're on the same page. We get this. I'm gonna say... Rock of Ages. Nice. Nice. It's almost like you played this game in the last two weeks.

The Mummy. Oh, two weeks. The Mummy. Oh, of course. The Mummy. That horrible movie. Yes. That's how bad that movie was. I was watching part of it in my hotel room last night and I did not think to say it.

I was just like, what is Tom Cruise doing in this? He's just going down on a plane. Like there's a plane crash in it. Oh, I didn't see that part. I saw the part with the mummy. Wait, you turn on a movie and just hit fast forward? No, it was on the hotel TV.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. I can't think of any. You're out? I might be. You said the other Jack Reacher. It was a great effort. Yeah, I don't think.

Because I was going to say Jack Reacher 2, and that's not the movie. You already said it. He didn't say it right. He didn't say it right? Well, I won't say it right. My guess was Jack Reacher 2. And if it's not that, I was going to say the sequel.

So, yeah, I got nothing. Okay. Dan? Minority Report. Yes! Finally, a white person said that. It seems like a lot of you guys, you know, Taylor's out. Chad and Dan are close to being out.

I feel like it's almost time to play taps. Damn it all, Doug. Your knowledge of early TC is baffling. I was there when it happened, man. I'll go Color of Money. Yes! Yes! Oh, baby.

Very good. Danny Trejo. If you got any, Dan. I know. There's still some Tom Cruises out there for sure. I know. I just don't know what they are. Can everybody just hold up their posters again really quick?

Yeah, he's probably on a few of those. I know. I didn't even prepare well enough to have a good joke answer. Fuck. Tom? This is intense. Cruz? Yeah. He was in that one movie where he was all like

hey. That's a good impression. Hey, here I am with Tom Cruise. Oh shit, I thought of one. That did it? I'm going to try that. He was in that movie where he's all... Look at me.

Look at me right now. I want you to look at me when I'm talking to you. I think you're out, Dan. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. For sure? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah sure? Yeah.

Yeah, man, I'm out. You ever just talk like a guy who just finished his intervention? Yeah, man, I'm out, man. Fuck. I'm out, dude. You know what? I'm out, dude. Okay.

Okay. I fucked this one up the last time I tried to say it. Okay. So I hope I say it right this time. Fuck. I said that a lot. Lambs for lions. God damn it.

Chad? Bad asses. God damn it Chad Badasses The sequel to Danny Trejo's Badass Starring Oakland legend Danny Glover Chad is our winner I can never remember if it's lions for lambs

or lambs for lions. So I fucked it up. That's against the law, Dan. Dan's going to have another T-Dose. Oh, man. It's been a long time since your grandpa left us. Is there anything good left on your name tag, Taylor? Yeah, there's stuff.

There's a good amount of stuff. There's Snickers bars. Yeah. Ooh, there's a Milky Way. That's like a Snickers, but without the bullshit. There's a bunch of lollipops. M&Ms. Those are all yours to keep. Did we even mention the poster? Yeah.

My cousin Nikki. Instead of Vinny. It's great. I loved it. They got the picture of me from the high court. I'm the judge I could be in that movie I could say What is a ute? Let's do some

Oh wait So where's Trevor at? There you go Trevor Here's all your prizes Trevor Lee Hill's Cobb dude Enjoy that dream catcher There you go, Trevor. Here's all your prizes. Trevor Lee Hill's Cobb, dude. Enjoy that dream catcher. Yeah, be sure to share some of those Django posters because there's more than one.

You only need one. And then here's your poster back, Trevor, if you want it. Do you want it back? Please use those Burger King coupons. Kicking it over to him. They have expiration dates, don't they? Yeah, they're like eight days from now. You gotta use all of them.

The Great BK Challenge. You got like a week. Alright. Let's do some plugs, starting with you, Dan Van Kirk. You got a tour coming up. Tell us more about that. This week on the 18th, I will be in Houston and then on the 19th

in Austin and then the 20th in Dallas and then the next day in Baton Rouge and then Lafayette. You can go to all that stuff. You can go to danielvankirk.com and you can also listen to me every week on the show podcast Dumb People Town

that I host with the Sklar Brothers and the show Pen Pals that I host with Rory Scovel. Cool. Thanks, dude. Thank you, man. I was just sitting here reading the shitheads while you were talking. I appreciate it.

A couple of good ones. Good. Yeah. A little of good ones. Good. Yeah. A little tease for later in the podcast. Get people to stick around. How many more Tom Cruises do you know? What? How many more Tom Cruises do you know?

Oh, well, there was another one I was toying around with. Oh, I should have just said Austin Powers and Goldmember. Fuck yeah. Because he has a cameo at the beginning of that. Yeah. But why? Why do you ask? I just feel like there's like two dozen.

There's definitely more. What did we miss? All the right moves. War of the Worlds. War of the Worlds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Few Good Men. Last Samurai.

This is humiliating. Last Samurai. Yeah. So many. He's made a lot of them. Everyone's just like, you idiot! Yeah, this part of the show makes you feel real dumb.

But then sometimes you get to do a show with Doug where he brings an audience member up and they see how this goes when you're sitting here. Oh, that's gotta be great. It's rewarding. Some guy staled out some real personal shit. He said Danny Trejo was in The Mexican. Whoa! That is no place for that. some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy

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some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy some guy

some guy some guy some guy Taylor Tomlinson what have you got to plug? just for live dates go to my website, I didn't prepare it for this and it feels like trying to remember Tom Cruise movies go to ttomcomedy.com for that and then I also have a podcast

every week called Self Helpless so go check that out what happens on that? it's me and two of my friends who are also stand-up comics, Kelsey Cook and Delaney Fisher, and we review self-help shit and have guests and decide whether or not it's horse shit or not. I love it.

Yeah. That sounds awesome. Chad Opitz. I'm hosting tonight and tomorrow for the great Taylor Tomlinson here at the San Jose Ambrose. Yay! So if you liked my knowledge of Danny Trejo information, then buy a ticket for tonight or tomorrow.

Badass. Badass. So badass. And I'm sure we'll see you again on this show, Chad and all of you guys. Thank you. One more time to Dan Van Kirk, Taylor Tomlinson and Chad Opitz.

Can I hang up? Oh, wait. I forgot to say thank you to Eddie for staying on the line. You're welcome. Michael's just standing here crying saying his arms hurt, so I wanted to know if we could go. I'm hoping to meet Michael when I'm there

on September 29th I hope he doesn't kill himself before I get there well if he listens to me he won't be here okay alright well thank you Eddie and I'm looking forward to seeing you again you too Doug

can you give us a ca-caw ca-caw? Ca-caw! Yes! Douglo's Movies is going to be making its first appearance at the Reno Tahoe Comedy Club on October 6th at 420. I did stand up there

a few months back and everyone was like, come back and do Douglas movies. And I said, okay, but I got to go to San Jose and a few other places first. And we all agreed to that. And that's how it happens. That's why I come back here to San Jose, is because you guys are always a terrific crowd,

and I appreciate you coming out every time. And thank you to the improv and we'll I'm going to run and play HQ if you guys aren't as obsessed with it as I am it's a daily trivia game that you can play

on the internet you just download the HQ app and it's going to go off right now at 6 o'clock pacific time so I'm going to do off right now at 6 o'clock Pacific time. So I'm going to do that but then after that I'll be, it only takes 10 or 15 minutes, even less if I do poorly and then

I'll see you guys out on the sidewalk if anyone wants to meet up and exchange things. Donuts! Like Reese's P.C. Regular sized donuts. I don't want donuts, I don't want Reese's Pieces No Regular sized donuts

I don't want donuts I don't want Reese's Pieces You guys know what I want I'm a simple man with a simple plan As always Get the Theme music ready There's two of these and the second one's a long one

Shitheads Are a shithead Yeah right music ready. There's two of these and the second one's a long one. Shitheads are a shithead. Yeah, right? And the person that buys two items at Taco Bell and pays with a $100 bill so everyone has to wait while the cashier finds change is

a shithead. Oh, shit.