Doug Loves Movies - The 12 Guests of Xmas with John Hodgman, Justin Long, Anna Roisman and 12 more guests

Episode Date: December 2, 2019

Live from the Gramercy Theatre in New York City, Doug welcomes Alex Brightman, Rob Cantrell, Katlyn Carlson, Trey Galyon, Josh Gondelman, Seth Herzog, John Hodgman, Doogie Horner, Justin Long, Julia Mattison, Griffin Newman, Jerry O'Connell, Anna Roisman, Jim Tews and Justin Thompson to the first 12 Guests of Xmas episode of the season.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seats With 50 ads and popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Ho, ho, ho, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies! Coming to you once again from... Coming to you once again for another East Coast 12 Guests of Christmas

at the Gramercy Theater in New York City! We're going to edit that first fuck-up out of the show. If I remember to tell them to edit it, I won't. It won't be edited. Let's move on. It's Sunday, December 1st. So great to see all of you. You had to battle the cold and rain out there. Plus, I know it's a busy time of year. So did you have time to make and keep dry some name tags?

Oh, yes, you did. 10 Cloverfieldy Lane. Citizen Shane. Paul Street. Wallet! Jay and Silent Rob strike back. I've seen that one before. Yeah, I have. Alright, lots of good ones.

So many good name tags. I don't think we'll have a problem. There's more than 15, right? Is there 15 chairs up here? I've been trying to make sure. Yep, there it is. Holy crap. You guys, you were just sitting there counting them? Had nothing better

to do before the show started. Doug plugs. Doug Loves Movies is back at UCB Franklin in Los Angeles this Tuesday, December 10th. And then, this Tuesday, December 10th. And then, of course, the 12th, not this Tuesday, you know, a Tuesday coming up very soon. And 12 Guests at Christmas West Coast is at Largo in Los Angeles

on Tuesday, December 12th. For all my dates and deets, go to DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesMovies.com. That's douglovesmovies.com. Yeah! Come on! Call it! Let's get Ted Danson! I like the commitment to not committing to Ted Danson.

I like how it's staggered, and a lot of them it's like a question. Ted Danson. I'd like to give a dugout to Sarah Silverman because it's her birthday. She's not going to listen to this. Also, a dugout to Greg Wyshynski who couldn't be here this year because he moved.

Yeah, he's a trader to the East Coast. He moved out to San Jose, yes way, and I'll have him back on the show sometime real soon. The prize bag that I had to really work hard to keep dry for this very special occasion, I brought four things because not only do I have 15 guests, but many of them probably brought multiple things. So I'm hoping that the winner tonight has a way to get all this stuff home or just to play, you know, hope there's a big garbage can right outside. I brought a Doug Benson pin from Rockin' Pins, and from the Honey Boy premiere party,

the invitation to the after party was in the form of a motel key that says Honey Boy on it. I kind of want to keep it. No, I'm going to put it in the prize bag. It's in the bag, It's in the bag. It's in the bag. And then from two tours that I did recently,

the Cannabis and Cheese Tour with Dale Cheeseman and the Doug Lowe's Scary Movies shows that we did in October, we had lovely posters made by Box Brown, so I've got two signed copies of those in the prize bag, along with the glorious bounty of amazing things brought by the 15 people who not only agreed to be here tonight, but are, in fact, here tonight. You guys ready to see the guests? Please. I hope they're over there. I think they're all probably downstairs still talking to each other and drinking. Give it up for

Alex Brightman, Rob Cantrell, Caitlin Carlson, Trey Galeon, Josh Gondelman, Seth Herzog, John Hodgman, Doogie Horner, Justin Long, Julia Madison, Griffin Newman, Jerry O'Connell, Anna Roisman, Jim Tews, and Justin Thompson. Justin! And the second 15 people are... Please welcome...

Yes, and... I'm just laughing over here because these folks here at the very front of this side section, when I looked over just now, I felt like you guys were standing and applauding. But you're not. You're just sitting there up higher than all these other folks.

So that was a fun optical illusion for me. I had a really good time with it. Well, welcome to all 15 of my guests. And, uh... Oh, there he is. Now all 15 are here. Judge, you're here just in time to put down your stuff

and work your way out into the crowd because it's time to select name tags. Let's get the house lights up a little bit, please. And here we go. Yeah, it's very, a lot to choose from. Very exciting. While they do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back with the rest of 12 guests, East Coast in its entirety.

Strap in. We'll be back. Today's show is brought to you in part by Watchmen. Can't get enough of HBO's Watchmen? Now you can go deeper inside the show critics have called your new TV obsession with the official Watchmen podcast. Hosted by Watchmen executive producer and writer Damon Lindelof and Craig Mazin, the creator of Chernobyl, the new podcast explores narrative choices, uncovers Easter eggs,

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Ross. Watchmen is available on streaming and on demand, and catch new episodes Sundays at 9 on HBO. Then listen to the official Watchmen podcast available on all major podcast platforms. Back to the craziness!

Alright, we're back. That was pretty fast. I was impressed by that. Yeah, it went pretty quickly. Let's get the front row microphone down to this end if we can. Oh, here you go. You hang on to it.

All right. Because now's the part where I'm going to go through guest by guest and not only find out who you're playing on behalf of but what you brought for the prize bag what you'd like to plug and I'd like you to do an impression. Once you've done all four of those things, you can cross the bridge and leave the theater, or you can participate in this game. And then once we start the games,

each person will be eliminated until we're down to one man, woman, or person in a turkey suit. Which brings me to introducing Seth Herzog, everybody! Thank you, thank you. Earned it, earned it, thank you. Yeah, I'm back. You're real droopy here in the back. Yeah.

It flops down. For those of you at home, I'm in a turkey suit, Thanksgiving weekend, just trying to get in everyone's head in the game. I don't give a fuck. I'm in a turkey suit. I'm trying to block Jim 2s behind me with my plumage. How about this? There we go.

That's all right. No more Jim 2s. All right. I'll knock it it down i don't like your i mean i guess was that oh you shouldn't be such a cranky turkey you survived the weekend i survived the weekend you're still here man yeah still here living one more year man um, who are you playing on behalf of? I got this poster. I really was impressed with this Animal House retake of the poster. I don't know how much of it you did, but it's Morganimal House.

And you're the Bluto character. I'm Bluto? You're Bluto. Neat. It's a really great version of this Rick Marowitz drawing. And I thought it was just a really good version of it. I don't know. Looks pretty real, right?

Looks pretty real. I don't know what isn't real and what is. That's how good it is. Fair enough. Yeah. She didn't change the credits. Kept that the same. So next time, put a little more effort.

Wow, what a critical turkey. What'd you bring for the prize bag? Prize bag, I had a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff? I brought a lot of stuff in here. Okay. No? If you have a DVD player, which I know all of you do,

and you work it all day long, because everyone still has CDs a DVD player, which I know all of you do and you work it all day long because everyone still has CDs and DVDs, I have a lot of one episodes of things. If you're into Ugly Delicious, there's one episode of that. If you're into Nailed It, great show,

one episode of that. If you're into Somebody Feed Phil about Phil Rosenthal on the road. There's a theme to these, I'm feeling. Rotten, if you're into Somebody Feed Phil about Phil Rosenthal on the road. There's a theme to these, I'm feeling. Rotten, if you're into that. And if you're into the Joel McHale show, one episode of that. Wait, it's all food and then McHale. Yep.

It's How Do You Feed McHale. And then Baseball Hat from the Armed Services Arts Partnership. They are a group. They're actually a really great group. The Armed Services Arts Partnership. They are a group. They're actually a really great group. They take PTSD vets and they teach them how to do comedy

as their therapy. A Beer Cozy. Who doesn't need that for their beers? And for the relative you don't know what to get because you don't really agree with them, the Ronald Reagan Rendezvous with Destiny book. Perfect gift for the person you don't want to talk to. Is that book for people that are dying or something?

Yeah. The Rendezvous with Destiny. It's for the last year of someone's life. It's a whole book about how, well, when you die, I'll be waiting by the pearly gates. Is that your impression? That's mine. Okay.

That's mine for the night. Yeah, Ronald wrote it like a year ago. It's a posthumous book that he wrote. I heard the Ronald Reagan balloon in the parade had a broken... Okay, so... What do you want to plug, Turkey Man? Sweet, my comedy show. We're doing a big Christmas show, December 17th at the Chelsea Music Hall. What do you want to plug, Turkey Man? Sweet. My comedy show.

We're doing a big Christmas show December 17th at the Chelsea Music Hall. Yay. I think some of these people here tonight will be with us as well, a bunch of them. So that should be really fun. It's December 17th at Chelsea Music Hall, nine o'clock.

Be there. It's going to be a cast of thousands and everyone's going to have fun. Lots of music and songs and all sorts of stuff. Any impressions? Who do you want me to do? That's not how this works. What I'd like you to do is your

best impression that you can just whip out for us right now. Someone stole my spaceship! Tracy Morgan. Come on, it's perfect. It's a perfect Tracy Morgan. Can't believe you didn't recognize that immediately. He owes me $85.

Okay, better. Now, see if you can get somebody pregnant. She wants that Walmart money. See if you can get somebody pregnant. Get someone? Pregnant. Oh, I'm going to get someone pregnant tonight. See, that's easy.

All right. No one liked it. Nobody did. Too real., I'm going to get someone pregnant tonight. See, that's easy. All right. No one liked it. Nobody did. Too real. This turkey's going to get someone pregnant. You've been on tour with him. Yeah, exactly. Oh, you know what, though?

Actually, say gobble gobble in Tracy Morgan's voice. Yo, gobble gobble. Rob Cantrell, everybody. Tracy's best friend. All right. I got this, Seth. It's Rob Cantrell, everybody. Tracy's best friend. I got this, Seth. It's Rob Cantrell, everybody. Yay, New York! Doug Benson!

Good to be here. Speaking of presidents, were we... There's a picture of Kennedy in front of you? Yeah, that's who I'm playing for. Robert F. Kennedy. That's John. Oh, for, Robert F. Kennedy. That's John. Oh, that's John F. Kennedy, sorry.

You know, they're brothers. And I got 800 on the SAT. But he's a smooth guy. But I thought this was a good poster because it just looks like my friend just grabbed it off the wall it was like i'm going to the doug benson show i need a poster fuck it let's put president kennedy up there and then he has a handle he just put his uh he has a really nice umbrella and that and now if he hooked it up and now it's just a John F. Kennedy fucking poster.

Yeah, that's the only stick he could find is an umbrella. It's a nice poster, yeah. Okay. Ask not what you can do for your country, but ask what you can do for your country. It says it right on there And you can't get it right I'm nervous Should I do it as Tracy Morgan Yo

Ask not what you could do for your country Can you do for you Ask what you can do for your country Now let's go get some G-Rose down in South Bronx. Okay. I'm kind of embarrassed that I missed that thing up, but it's all right. It was kind of funny. Yeah, it was kind of funny. That's the gig, right? Yeah, that's who you're playing for. I'm playing for Kennedy. What'd you bring? What's Kennedy going to possibly win? I have my vinyl.

I've released an album called Pure Uncut Joy. And you can check it out on Spotify. But I have a clear vinyl, the 45. Yeah, this is about my first concert. It was called The Fresh Fest. And I saw Houdini run DMC on their first tour when they're 18 years old and then the fat boys and I tell a story about it's a 13 minute track and it's two sides but it's a clear vinyl so you

get that and then I got a Willie's reserve when I was in Colorado I got hooked up with Willie's reserve which is Willie Nelson's weed. And this is a pen. It's not his weed. It's just you could put that on your cool fucking denim jacket. And then I got a Bell Biv DeVoe 12-inch. Devoe 12-inch. And this is our music is mentally hip-hop

smoothed out on the R&B tip with a pop feel to it. And I would agree. Yeah, that's what I got for him, Doug. That's your stuff. And should I do my plug? I think you already did when you were talking about that prize.

Oh, that's true. But I am playing Michigan, though. I need people to come out in December. Where are you going to be in Michigan? Holy shit, in December? Yeah, December 12th, Howard City. December 13th, Muskegon. December 14th, Rockford.

I'm doing a bunch of shows up there and visiting families. So come on out. And I'm drinking Vernors. I don't know if you guys know about Vernors, but it's a really good ginger ale. It has a nice kick to it. If you're going to be in the Midwest, try out Vernors. Very good. Pass the mic to his left.

It's Justin Long, everybody. How you doing this, Lemon? I've never done that before. Hey, Doug. Hey, Justin. How are you? I'm good. How you doing?

Pretty good. I got... Do I hold up my thing? Sure, yeah, whatever you want. So this is... I have... I chose this this from people who reluctantly gave it to me. No, I wasn't. They were hoping you wanted somebody else to take it. They wanted a winner to choose it? Yeah, yeah. Wait a minute.

Diane, sorry, Jerry. Diane, another day. I thought it was funny. And the prize I have is a photo of... I'm in it a little bit, which is very arrogant, but it's mostly Kevin Smith.

It was a really fun day on the set of this podcast where I was playing a podcaster in a movie called Tusk. And we had a really fun day. But I love the photo and it's all I kind of had around. And then in case you don't like the movie,

or you don't like me or Kevin, I have, thanks to Jerry, I have this Ferrara Rocher. I guess it's just a Ferrara collection. So, yeah. And for my impression, I'd like to do Ted Levine, but Ted Levine, like if he signed up for a dating, if he was on a singles website.

Yeah, I'm just like a normal guy. I like long walks on the beach. I have a moth collection, which not a lot of people have. You know, normal things. I like to keep my skin moisturized. I have a...

Is this Cliff from Cheers? I enjoy skinning fat women to make a female bodysuit out of. Oh, okay. It's that guy. Buffalo Bill. Thank you, everyone. Oh, you don't have anything to plug?

I'll do your plug. Jerry and I were in a movie called The Lookalike that I think is on Netflix. That's not it. Yeah. No, you're in a movie that's going to play in a bunch of cities starting on Friday. Yeah.

And it's going to also be everywhere on VOD, and it's called After Class. Yeah, thanks, Doug. And the director's here. I should have said that. That is true. That's all true. After Class. I really like said that. That is true. That's all true. After class.

I really like it. Please go see it. Also, The Lookalike on Netflix. Jerry can handle that plug. Jerry's not in after class. And there's no stormtroopers in that either. Our friend Katie Freeman makes knitted items for her name tags.

And in this case she knitted a stormtrooper face and that's Jerry O'Connell wearing it everybody. These are not the droids we're looking for. That was my impression. These are not the droids we're looking for.

That was my impression. No, I... It is amazing, and I did choose this because you did DM me earlier today. I'm sorry if you're with your significant other or your wife slid into my DMs and said, choose me if you're on, and so I immediately saw you and I was choosing you. It is a little tight in there.

Yeah, a little tight in there. And it does, it smells like halls. Was someone having halls where they came here? That was pretty weird, just the smell. I'm wearing, for those who aren't, I'm wearing a face mask as a stormtrooper that's knitted. It is amazing, but it did cut off the circulation to my face. I do want to do another impression since this is

DLM. That's what we call Doug Loves Movies. I do Kathy Moriarty in Raging Bull. Yeah, Jake. I sucked all their cocks. That's what I do.

I am playing for Rise of the Sky Katie because Katie slid into the old DMs and that's about it. Yeah, and you've got a movie on Netflix? Oh, yeah. No, I'm in a great play called Soldier's Play. It opens at the American Airlines Theater. Preview start December 27th.

So you're doing that whole blackface thing? It's a really touching, amazing play, everyone. It's very important. Everyone should see it. Oh, you play one of the white guys. Now I get it. It's a Pulitzer Prize winning play, everyone. It's very important. Everyone should see it. Oh, you play one of the white guys. Now I get it. It's a Pulitzer Prize winning play, Doug. It's a great play.

It stars David Alan Greer and Blair Underwood, and it's going to be really good. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. What if she... I saw her once in a bar, and she was at the bar and i was with my brother and he was like just do it for her just go up and say it and i was like i can't i can't and he was like just do it

just do it and she went to the bar i saw her go up and i went up to her and she ordered drinks and i said i got these i got these and she was like thank you. And then as she was walking away, I went, I grabbed her arm, and I went, yeah, Jake, I stopped all the aircrafts. And she was like, oh, God, you, like, this again? Like, I think people say it a lot to her. Oh, God. Like, she rolled her eyes and then, like, ran away. Oh, God.

Glad she got the reference. Yeah, I mean, it's a bold move. What if she didn't remember the line? What? Hey, listen, we... I'm going to pass the mic. We have like 15 other people here. Oh, okay.

Hello. Oh, look at me, double mic. It's Julia Madison, everybody. Jerry has a gift. My gift. I got a bunch of scratchers for Eddie. Oh, yeah. Prize bag, yes. There we go. Hello!

Hello, hello. Hey, how's it going? It's going great! I, for all you listeners at home, have a baby Christmas Groot on my shoulder. This is a Gingers Endgame. And, God,

if you listeners could see how adorable this thing is. It's magnetized. It sits on the shoulder. It's chic. It's very 2019 Christmas. We love. I'm very excited about it. I can't even see it. Oh, yeah. Here, look. Oh, look at that. Yeah.

Prize bag. Yes. If anyone likes musicals and the movie Almost Famous and obscure T-shirts, this is for you in that Venn diagram. This is a Stillwater band shirt. Not from the movie, but from the rehearsals of the out-of-town tryout of the almost famous musical, Abound for Broadway.

And there you go. There's the shirt. And, yeah, so that's a deep cut. I don't think there are more than maybe three or four of those. My wonderful. Oh, yeah. Oh, they're all trying to take it. It's good.

It's a good one. And what's next? Everybody wants to see this shirt. Everyone trying to take it. It's good. It's a good one. And what's next? Everybody wants to see this shirt. Everyone wants to see it. Yes, it was my wonderful boyfriend, Drew, is on the far right there. That's how I snagged it. He's doing the show.

Sick, bro. Yeah, so that's that gift. I love it. And what else? Impressions? Plugs? What do you want? Plugs. Pl gift. I love it. And what else? Impressions? Plugs? What do you want? Plugs?

Plugs. I do have one. As of today, my friend Joel, who was on the last Gramercy show, and I created an Advent Carolnder. That is, if you follow at Advent Carolnder on Instagram, it is a digital Advent calendar with 25 original carols we made up for 25 days. And you can just digitally punch the door and we'll give you a little musical chocolates. At Advent Calendar Carol on Instagram.

Can you do one now? Yes. I mean, there are such hits as, you know, the old favorites. Why is sausage not a Christmas food? Oh, religious Christmas song there's one called seasons of disease which is more of a ballad which is like do you remember

SARS cause SARS remembers you and you know such hits as that it'll be fun so just follow us on there we have one for every day and let's see. Impressions.

I know last time I really mastered my Lord. I'd like to hear the Bjork again. Oh, Bjork. Oh, Lord. Well, there's a difference. I mix them up. I'm sorry. Lord and Bjork.

If you can do one, you can do the other. But there's a difference. And I'll show you what that is. Lord is Lord. And Bjork is Bjark. So I think it's just one goes up, the other goes down. But I do have a... I'm going to try to do a different one. This is my impression of Alzheimer's Steve Urkel.

Did I do that? Thank you. That's my latest. That was sad. It's Alzheimer's everybody. I think that's it for me. Yay, thank you. I'm excited to play the game.

Bye. Oh, boy. I'm so excited. Joining us for the. Yay, thank you. I'm excited to play the game. Bye. Oh, boy. I'm so excited. Joining us for the very first time, everybody, it's Anna Roisman. Thank you. I'm nervous. I'm the virgin of the show, right? Am I?

I think I am. Everybody else has been on before? Yep, it's you. I'm the new kid in town. Steer clear of that volcano outside. Because we're going to toss you into it if we get a chance. That's what

I do with virgins. But host of HQ Words. Yeah, what? You guys know HQ? What's that? You're an alum now of HQ. Oh, that's right. I was on HQ After Dark. Doug hosted last night.

I don't know if you caught it. It's on YouTube somewhere if you didn't catch it live. Yeah, check it out on YouTube. That was super fun. I was very nervous. Being a first timer, I saw all these nice knitted,

you know, beautiful name tags. I saw someone who had a, it's not even the full title, it just says Ricky and the Flask. Someone, it's, you know, I'm a huge fan of Ricky and the Flash, the movie, but you guys just printed

out just the movie picture with Meryl Streep, but not even the full title. It could be The Flask. It could be whatever you want, right? This was up to me, I think. Are you playing on behalf of a person named Flask? I don't know.

There's just nothing else here, which I loved. It's a beautiful picture of Meryl Streep. It's folded, so you clearly really didn't care about this at all. It's protecting it from the rain. Yeah, yeah, I guess. Fold it up, put it away. No name or anything, but, you know, I'm a fan.

And I thought, let's let, you know, all the, you know, major players pick the knitted things. I'll stay, I'll be modest. I'll pick just the, you know, computer paper from your attic that you had for a while. Well, who did that, who did it come from? Whose is it? And what? What's your name? What's your name? Yeah. Ricky! Ricky! from your attic that you had for a while. Who did it come from? Whose is it?

What's your name? What's your name? Yeah. Ricky! So, mission accomplished. What's the problem, Anna? You know... It says Ricky right on there. Ricky! I'm playing for Ricky in the flat. Yay! You know, you could have just made it Ricky in the ass.

You really could have had fun with this. But I love it. I love it. Fun little movie fact. Directed by Jonathan Demme. Ricky in the Flash was, yes. Wow. He better make Jerry in the Fast as his next film. No? Okay. Uh-oh, Jerry needs a microphone. Isn't it somewhat interesting that the same director of

Silence of the Lambs in Philadelphia directed Ricky and the Flash I mean it's like the whole gamut on Jerry did guest star on Franklin and Pass thank you I'm I'm officially intimidated now by the game that was good um I brought a lot of gifts because I'm Jewish and I'm new here, so I'm really good at bringing stuff. I brought an HQ tote bag. I brought an HQ tote bag that is full of shit.

Is there a mug in there? There's an HQ mug in here. Oh, those are the best. There's a mug if you drink coffee.'s also an hq t-shirt you know i'm really supporting the brand tonight you could just say what's in there you don't have to show it off wait but there's a couple things i wanted to show you um that's okay this thing's not that bad thanks jare can I call you Jer? He prefers to be called Oh. So because this is a movie podcast, I came prepared. I brought, ooh, some pretty screeners of Fences, Arrival, and Jackie.

Three films I kind of slept through, but someone's going to love them. I also brought Bruno. Good movie. Classic. And then this one has never been opened. This is very personal to me. It's Mamma Mia, the movie, full screen edition. If you need that. It's still sealed up. My grandma got it in a gift basket, and I thought, that's coming tonight. And you get all of that. Oh, there's one sealed up. My grandma got it in a gift basket and I thought, that's coming tonight. And you get all of that. Oh, there's one last thing. Because I saw this and I was like,

someone needs this. Urban Outfitters is breaking history. It's the world's smallest light bright. Thank you. I've been to a show until before. Thank you. I've been to a show until before. Thank you.

Thanks, Jerry. Wow, modeling that HQ bag for those who can't see. That was awesome. Oh, plugs. You can watch my show. I host HQ Words Tuesdays and Thursdays at 9.30. I'm also launching a podcast. Can you believe?

Yeah, it's called Unemployed with Anna Roisman. Because we've all been unemployed before, right? It's just a lot of talk about that. That's coming out December 16th. And I don't know, follow me, Anna Roisman. Follow me for Christmas. Oh, I have an impression. Yes, please.

Okay, it's one of my, for the holidays, obviously. It's one of my favorite characters. I'm just going to do it. Maybe you'll know the movie. I hate Uncle Jamie. That was the child in love, actually. That's the only line he has, but it's a memorable one. I love that part. I love that part.

I love that part. All the girls, we all sat together. We're like, girls only. Yeah, you got a section over there. So let's go ahead. Thank you, Anna. Let's say hello. Making her second appearance on the show is Caitlin Carlson, everybody.

Hi. Hi, everybody. Hi. Hi, guys. What do I do first? Oh, who am I playing for? Okay, so this is a complication. This says, I have a weird name. So what is your weird name? Donny East Bay.

I love it. I am playing for you was that a first and last name okay what's just the first name Jonhee Jonhee great well I was absolutely

dazzled oh look at that I mean I wish the listeners at home could see the spectacular feminine explosion that is this like Jasmine carriage loofah beaded moment. I mean, I want to ride that thing off a roof. Truly. Or anywhere. I just want to destroy it so badly.

It's beautiful and fragile like all of us. So this is perfect, and I'm loving that there's a reflective surface because I'm deeply narcissistic. What else? Okay, so should I do my plug? Sure. So I starred a Christmas movie called Holly Star.

H-O-L-L-Y-S-T-A-R. I did not pause for applause, but thank you. It's on Netflix now. It's fun holiday cuteness. Oh, that's my number one thing I'm going to watch on Netflix now. Thank you. Nothing else really appeals to me on there right now, but that is number one.

Is it on Netflix? It is on Netflix. Yeah. And I literally am in, like, every single frame, and there's puppets. So, like, you know, get on board. You're going to have a good time. Let's see, what else?

My impression? So I've been going back and forth about this. So my husband, who is here, hi, husband, we used to do a sketch show at UCB called Till Death Do Us Fart. It's a play on words. And one of my characters in one of my sketches

was 30-year-old Kevin McAllister, who is deeply damaged. I'm not going to really get into the sketch but because it seems thematically appropriate. So a little boy and put a wig on him so that a girl wouldn't feel bad. Yeah, that's not weird.

That's a cool solve. That's the sausage of the movie making machine, baby. Gets ugly. Alright, that's all. I promise I won't break it. Give me that thing you brought for the movie making machine, baby. Gets ugly. All right, that's all. All right. I promise I won't break it. Give me that thing you brought for the...

Oh, my bag. Oh, shit. But yes, you need this. This is wonderful. Wow. Get in there. I really... Oh, man.

I mean, it's really something special. Oh, the wheels don't even turn, you guys. This will fall off a building great. Okay, and very briefly, I have to do my gift bag, yeah? Yeah. If Jerry O'Connell would please hold my bag open. Thank you, Jer. I love doing body shots.

Jerry O'Connell in his greatest role ever. Very old edition Trader Joe's bag that you can think about all the name brand prices without the middleman, you know, blah, blah, blah. So we've got a cocktail napkins that's a man standing over a cat. It's like a New Yorker cartoon style cocktail napkins that says never ever think outside the box.

It's like a litter box kind of pun because the man does not want his cat to not use the litter box. You know, political cartoons are tricky. We've got a purr tea, tea infuser that's the shape of a cat

that sits on the side of your teacup. So the teacup... Were you up all night watching QVC or something? This may or may not be a bag of random shit I was going to bring to Buffalo Exchange, but realized I never would bring. This is a giant gummy bear.

I guess in context, it's kind of a mid-sized gummy bear. It's cherry flavored. I ate the blue one one and it was maybe um it was like kind of vacillated between poisonous and delicious so um have fun with that and finally now this is a really kind of great i would have kept it if i had room in my cupboard it is a coffee mug that's like the shape um that is like two handles are like game controller handle thing. It's kind of cute and fun.

This was an opening night gift from the Be More Chill choreographer, Chase Brock, who's wonderful. And yeah, I just don't want it. But I want someone to have it, and I hope it's you. I hope I win for you. That's it. That's good. That's it.

Bring me the bag, Jerry. Thank you, sir. All right. We're getting to the back row. That has more people in it than the front row. Less than halfway done with intros. Doug loves intros is the name of the show. You all know me.

It's John Hodgman! You know what I do for a living. That's my impersonation. Also, I will do... What's the name of the hot priest from Fleabag the actor Andrew Scott two first names that's what I call him him as Moriarty from Sherlock

hi the end my name's John Hodgman Jerry O'Connell hold these books. I've written five books. Someone's getting two of them. Vacation Land, which came out in 2017.

Medallion Status, which came out this year year That's hardcover, that's the good stuff Thank you, Jerry Put those into the bag Now listen Anna You're right to be nervous This is a horrible gauntlet to run. It was not two

years ago? Maybe three. The last time I was on this stage with DLM, that's what we call Douglas Movies, I was eliminated on the first round. Some goddamn Olsen twins question. I'm fucking 48 years old. I don't know.

Well, now you've had a time to think about the answer. Stop recording! Stop recording! This is a podcast, not your Instagram live. No, you know what? Bring it up. I want the world to know this. Let's go. Let's see it.

I got eliminated. When you get eliminated, you have to leave the stage. And I left the stage and I started walking. And I've been walking for the past two years. I've seen some shit out there. I had just gotten to peace with it when I received a tweet from one Gary Oransky

in the front row now who reminded me that I played for him that night. And his tweet essentially said, you failed me. I hope you haven't come to peace with that. So I'm playing for Gary Oransky tonight.

Oh! He made this poster. Gary Oransky starring in 12 Angari Men. Name tags are in their hands. are on their minds pretty good name tag Gary I hope I win and were your were your plugs those books? What? I did the impression. I did all the plugs, right. Medallion status is out now.

Bit.ly slash medallion status. All capital letters, all one word. M-E-D-A-L-L-I-O-N-S-T-A-T-U-S. Always be plugging. Also check out the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Also our special 12 episode miniseries based on iClaudius called iPodius. Check check out the Judge John Hodgman podcast. Also our special 12 episode miniseries based on iClaudius called iPodius. Check it out. Goodbye.

I'll let him finish his sip of his beer. It's Alex Brightman, everybody! Hello. Hello, everybody! Hello. Hello, everybody. Thank you for having me, Doug. Thank you for being here, Mr. Beetlejuice. Thank you. Mr. BJ. Thank you.

How do you think I got the job? I've had like 19 beers since the first person went up. This has been so long. It's a big ass beer too. I know. Oh, geez. It's a lot.

All right. Well, thank you for being here. It's my pleasure. I really like being here. And what are your, run down all those things I was supposed to ask you about. All right. I'm going to do who I'm playing for first. Cool.

I'm playing for, and this is a tradition here at Doug Loves Movies. I'm playing for Rob. I was in the front row, and this is a tradition here with Doug Loves Movies, I'm playing for Rob. I was in the front row with a Beetlejuice hat on the first time I think we played. He was Les Miserables,

which just ruined me and I think about it every other week. This is Jay and Silent Rob strike back. Pretty good. And there's some candy

and some donuts that I imagine we will throw later. And then for prize bag, I brought sort of a Beetlejuice themed thing. Yeah, because I'm playing

the lead role in the Broadway show that I was Tony nominated for. Brightman, Brightman, Brightman. Nice. And here I am. This is a Funko... These guys are standing for you. My God.

These guys, they come to my show every night. They're there every single night at the stage door. And I'm sorry I haven't been lately, but you look great, fellas. This is a Funko t-shirt of Beetlejuice and I guess aviators. I'm not 100% sure sure the concept of this drawing. And then I have a MacBook that's mine that no one gets to have. This is a votive candle

that I got from a friend, a fan that this is of me on it. I have a hot sauce from Atomic City in Los Alamos, New Mexico. I have Beetlejuice playing cards. I have Beetlejuice playing cards and I will say I have another pack of these and three of these cards have very ironic photos of Jeffrey Jones in them.

There's one of them slinking behind an armoire that is particularly troubling. And so this is that. And then the lastly, I have a Beetlejuice Funko Pop doll. And I don't know, I have like a hundred bucks I'll put in the thing

too. And that's... And then what else do I have plugs and impressions yeah plugs and impressions please plugs i'm in beetlejuice until the very least april of next year um at the winter garden theater on broadway um i i'm gonna be in a movie next year coming out next fall with billy crystal Tiffany Haddish called Here Today. Thank you so much. What did you say?

You interrupted, but I wanted... And that's it. Did you really stop to take a drink during your... I'm telling you right now, this has become a habit now because of how long we've had to wait. No, that's it. And then my impression is, we used to do, around the holidays, a friend of mine would do inappropriate Don Pardo from SNL.

And so I'm going to do, I'm just going to do sort of like a small lineup of Don Pardo, just two. Musical guest, Aaliyah. And your host, Terry Shivo. Featuring Lacey Peterson. And your host, Connor Peterson. I'd watch that show. I just realized it was face to you the whole time. Hey, everybody.

That's it. Thanks. Thank you, Alex. Who won this thing last year? Oh, I believe it was me. It's Griffin Newman, everybody! Feeling a lot of self-inflicted pressure. Haven't slept in two weeks. My name's Griffin Newman.

I'm playing for Paul Street. I believe his name is Paul. And he photoshopped... Not photoshopped. This is a separate printout and it's high quality. It's like Kinko's quality. Good stock. Good paper stock of my head from The Tick, which is the show I was on that was very, very cancelled. But Jerry O'Connell is also there and Jerry O'Connell is very uncancelled so we'll see about that

we'll see the night is young what do you got for the who are you playing for plugs? so one of the benefits of my job being cancelled is that... Jerry,

Jerry was already flexing his arm to hand this out. In his greatest role ever. Recently at a weird storage facility. At a weird storage facility in Long Island, they auctioned off all the props from the show because they don't need them anymore. So I have a

bag of screen... Because the show was cancelled. John, you know, you were on it. So this is an Aegis flag. There's a company called Aegis. It's like a shield type agency in the show. And there was a bunch of merchandise. I'm not going to take all of it out because it will fall out. But there was a hat,

a mug, a flag, and then they never made a funko pop of my character despite me messaging funko directly which is how it usually works a thing that every actor has to do all the time so i i almost bought a funko pop of richard dreyfuss in jaws because it looked like me. Very similar vibe. Especially with what you're wearing tonight. Dead on. Dead on.

I went into the store, and I was like, I'm wearing the hat. I was looking at it. Instead, I bought one of the... Say tiger shark. Say that's not a tiger shark. That's not a tiger shark. It seems to me you're going to ignore this problem

until it swims up and bites you. But this is a Funko Pop of the tick. My co-star, Peter Serafinowicz, and I autographed my own name on there. Like a narcissist. Thank you very much, Jerry. Yes. What a gentleman.

What a gentleman. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. What a gentleman What a gentleman Cherry Cherry Cherry Cherry Cherry Cherry This is the same I'll do plugs first

Please watch my show The Tick It was cancelled It's on Amazon Prime No one will trust me with that large of a role ever again I host a podcast called Blank Check with Griffin and David. With David Sims from The Atlantic. And we go over filmographies of directors who got blank check status. Like Jonathan Demme, director of Ricky and the Flash, who is now dead.

And so he will never make another movie ever again. Not to bring the mood down. A great man. A great man. This is my impression. I did it the last time I was on Doug Loves Movies. It's the one impression I show off all the time. This is Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Inception.

I can't let you touch it. That would defeat the purpose. See, only I know the balance and the weight of this particular loaded die. That way, when you look at your totem, you know beyond a doubt that you are not in someone else's dream. Thank you very much. Thank you. Very good.

Not memorized. You fucking narc. But strangely tattooed on Jerry O'Connell's back. Thank you, Griffin. Josh Gondelman is here! Hi. Hi. Hi. I'm Josh.

I'm playing for Rache Balls. Yeah, it's Rachel yelled my name, and I was like, she must mean a different guy. But then there was a picture of me, and I was like, oh, it's probably me she means. So there's me and Alex Brightman and Doug and Mel Brooks. And then I think, is that you, Rachel? Yeah.

And it's on the space there's the Winnebago from Spaceballs. It's very nice to be here at the episode of Doug Loves Movies where we're all murdered by John Hodgman. I'm playing for Rachel Balls I assume her name is and

I hope somebody wished, some unlucky audience member wished on a monkey's paw that they would win Dougloves movies and now they have to go home with everything none of us want anymore. And so what I brought for you guys is, I also wrote a book. It's called Nice Try, stories of best intentions and mixed results. My face is on this, too. A friend of mine told me that it was brave of me to have my face on my own book, and I said, fuck you.

I didn't autograph it in case you want to return it to a store. I won't tell you where I got it, though, so it's kind of a fun New York City scavenger hunt. Also, in case you don't like me or Aaron's, I also brought the book Super Pumped, The Battle for Uber by Mike Isaac because I accidentally bought two copies of it. And now one of you guys is reaping the benefits because it's a really good book.

Were you meaning to buy a book about Uber and a book about Lyft? I was trying to buy a book about Juno. Rest in peace, big dog. Somebody sounded sincerely bummed out that Juno doesn't exist anymore after laughing at a joke about Steve Urkel with Alzheimer's. So look inside yourself, audience.

My plug is the aforementioned book. I would love if you guys bought it. It's available where books are. Also watch Jesus and Mero on Showtime. Yeah, I'm just a fan. I work there. And my impression, I'll do my impression, and then we'll move it along. Somebody stole my spaceship!

That's my impression of Seth Herzog. I have notes. Thank you, Josh. I have notes. Thank you, Josh. Waiting so patiently. Also with books, it's Doogie Horner! Hello, hello. I will be playing for Amy Hard. I am the author of A Die Hard Christmas,

and she put her name Amy over the die. So you could read it as Amy Hard, or you could read it as Am-yard. So you sound like a sea captain. My gifts are the prize bag. I brought two more of my books some very interesting cats perhaps you weren't aware of

which is my humorous illustrated book of short cat stories in my first novel this might hurt a bit and no clapping for that, perfect okay people are like no cats, not interested just stuck up behind me clapping for that. Perfect. Okay. People are like, no cats, not interested. Just stuck

up behind me. There you go. Oh, I got that. Okay. Thank you. Gave him the name tag. I guess for my impression, I will do, this is my impression of a long haul trucker at a poetry slam. Oh hell, I just came up here on a dare. My friends dared me a case of beer. I don't know anything about poetry. Yeah, of course you count the poetry of the open road which I allow as a type of song. It's a song in your heart, but it's one you can hear too

because they're made to in wheels. They're humming. They're singing you're going to be home soon. They're closing the miles, using the one you love. Them windshield wipers, they're shwicking back and forth, keeping time with the ever quickening

and beating of your heart. Shwip-fop, shwip-fop, shwip-fop. Hmm. Closing the miles, using the one you love. And all that time, that yellow line, it's unwinding past your shoulder.

Yellow line, yellow line, yellow line, yellow line. Shwip-fop, shwip-fop, shwip-fop. Hmm. Closing the miles, or yellow line, yellow line, yellow line, yellow line, schwip-wop, schwip-wop, schwip-wop. Closing the miles between using the one you love. But like I said, I don't know nothing about poetry. Thank you. Thank you.

Again, again, again. Thanks for doing the short version. And your plugs are your books? Yeah, my plugs are, please check out my novel, This Might Hurt a Bit. You can follow me at Doogie Horner. You can listen to my album, my comedy album, A Delicate Man.

Thanks. Thank you. Kirby's a very lucky kid, Doogie. Very lucky. Can I introduce you? Yeah. It's Trey Gallio! Yay!

Hey, New York City. So I picked this particular poster because this guy was a little less aggressive than the dude in the back row. Dude in the back row was really coming on kind of strong. Like we had a deal beforehand or something. Like that's how... Huh? coming on kind of strong. Like we had a deal beforehand or something. Like that's how. Huh? Oh, all right.

He's one of those. That's cool. No. See me anytime. Does that mean give you some or come see you about some? Okay. That's enough. No, I'm glad we got that out of the way because i kind of wanted to know anyway this is this is beautiful no yeah so the other reason i picked it is because he was

yelling my name because my name is on the poster but it it's the Jason Hunt for Red October, and it's just Doug. But then he just slapped my name on there, because I'm assuming that you made that today or something. No, right. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you made it earlier this week. So you were rolling the dice, huh? Oh, okay. Oh, you made it earlier this week. So you were rolling the dice, huh?

Oh, okay. Oh, wow. Yeah, he figured it out. Yeah, but he still didn't put me on the fucking poster. It says Trey Gallion right there on it. No, yeah. There's no other character. Do you want to be the periscope on the sub? He don't got a sidekick?

There's only one character on the poster. What did you bring? So, all right. Jerry? I don't get the full kneel? You got... All right. This is it.

Can I... Like, my mom would... I'm gonna get a picture real quick from my mom. For those at home, Jerry is kneeling in front of Trey like he's proposing to him while holding his sack. What did you bring me, Jerry?

Okay, so I have a slightly used Trey Galleon live at Creep Records rolling tray. Yep. And then I've got a cool little pipe from Grav Labs that looks like a chess piece. Yeah, that's cool. And then I brought one of my to the left t-shirts. Right? This is...

So when you wear it, if you're smoking weed and you forget which way to pass it you can look down and it says to the left but it's upside down so fucking you can read it right and then it's got a handy arrow telling you which way to pass it and then so yeah you can get that on my website And then I brought a basketball from home that everybody signed. So you have an autographed basketball. And then come see me and Jeff Tate in Atlanta on December 19th and 20th. And Asheville on the 21st and Knoxville on the 22nd, and then me and Dale Cheeseman in Austin

on January 24th and 25th, and yeah. Yeah. That played... That played like an anti-marijuana ad targeted at student-athletes. Like, when you smoke pot, it takes the bounce right out of your ball. Anyway, I just took it out to sign it as well when I noticed how faulty it was. It's not faulty.

It's just deflated. Put air in it. It'll be plenty faulty. All right, thanks for the advice, Tom Brady. Yeah. Ooh, easy. Easy. What else do you have to do for us now?

An impression? You got an impression? Oh, yeah. All right. So here's Sean Connery in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Junior. Junior. Junior.

That's it I think that was Mrs. Doubtfire Is that what it was? No, I don't know I don't know what it was Junior Junior Junior Junior

Okay, yeah You're getting there Yeah Speaking of getting there Only two more Yeah I know right Two more very patient guests We need more slack

In the thing here Yeah Oh we do Oh yeah Or we can Seth can pass his back Yeah okay It's a fun puzzle

For you guys Oh Press conference With Justin Thompson, everybody! Hey, how's it going? Thank you for having me. I'm here playing for 10 Cloverfield Elaine. Nice. And I think we're going to win. I feel pretty good about this poster.

My face on this fucking poster. It's going to sell a lot of movie tickets. Have you seen that scary new movie? Doug Benson's in it. So happy to be in this movie. And what's your thing for the prize bag?

All right, got some goodies for you. I've got a lighter that you can use for your products. It's an Assassin's Creed lighter from the game or the film, whichever. That's your pick. It's just the logo. Got a couple of films from the personal collection of my roommate Kristen. Thank you very much. We've got Good Hair, the

Chris Rock documentary. It describes it as side-splittingly funny. You decide if that's true. And we've also got Gran Torino. Yeah. This is side-splittingly funny. Thank you.

You gotta stay for the credits because he sings the theme song. Clint Eastwood does. Yeah. It's fucking awful. Yeah. Clint Eastwood does? Yeah.

Doug, can I do a second impression? Because the moment demands it. Graham Tarino. What a car you are. That's pretty much what the end credits sound like. Okay. Can that count for my impression? All right, and I also have one more thing.

I've got a Paranormal Activity The Ghost Dimension T-shirt. So check that out. Jerry, will you hold that for me? so check that out. Jerry, will you hold that for me? It's got a great tagline. For the first time, you will see the activity. Yeah, that's a good one.

And it's also glow-in-the-dark. And it's gently used. That they had the nerve to put out two paranormal activity movies in which you never saw any activity is a little strange

this one's got a tit in it and what else Justin you don't want to do an impression hold on aren't you supposed to ask me what the most recent movie I've seen was? Oh, a little change-up. No, I just thought that was...

No, I switched it to the impression thing because that's more fun. Oh, you're right. Plugs? Yeah. Alright. Listen, I did not come here to make friends. I came here to get a job. Is anyone hiring? I'm, you know...

I'm being serious. I'm currently... Thanks, Trey. Yeah, we're just looking to book up January through December of 2020, so... You can follow me on Instagram. It's Justin F. Thompson. We'll do an impression real quick. A micro impression

if we can. It's Vin Diesel from the Fast and Furious films. Family. Family. Follow him on Instagram and finally so patient

so quiet thanks for letting me headline Doug it's our headliner Jim Jues I had to take a bathroom break my god what was I supposed to take a bathroom break my god what was I supposed to say what you brought for the bag oh yeah yeah yeah

I thought we were only supposed to bring one thing that's what I tell people to do and then they overachieve but not me bare minimum Jim but I got this. This is a copy of Pecker, signed by John Waters. And if that's not enough for you,

I've got a $20 Starbucks gift card my sister gave me for my birthday in my wallet, and I'll throw that in. Just let me know if you're not a John Waters fan. Just let me know if you're not a John Waters fan. And I'm playing for, I'm going to stand up, sorry. Izzy Usual, Doug Spex. I thought it was a quality wordplay, it was a quality poster,

great composition, excellent framing. Yeah, Izzy made that. Yeah. And she put me in the title too. Yeah. Great job. Izzy, he's in there? Jeff Tate looks great. Jeff does look great. He looks great with Kevin Pollack's body. Or no, no, that's Kevin Spacey.

Let's move on. Let's move on. Oh, oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I forgot he was in that. Red alert, red alert. Jeff Tate's being controlled by kevin spacey's body he just gets so lost in the role um do you have an impression jim you know i was worried about going last because i thought i was like shit if somebody gets to my impression that i'm fucked um But luckily nobody did Werner Herzog. Not even the icy rain could keep

the masses from coming out to the podcast recording that they could listen to later in the comfort of their own worn homes. Thank you. Werner Herzog, everybody. Glad nobody else took it.

I mean, that was, you know, a less bleak version of, you know. Yeah, it was him on a good day. It was sweet, yeah. Have you seen The Mandalorian? No, I haven't watched it yet. He's in that. I heard. I'm in everything.

Plugs, do you have anything to plug? Kind of a slow end of the year, but... Looking forward to Christmas? Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. I'll be at some bar in Long Island next weekend. And then I'll be with Chad Daniels at Laugh Boston the following weekend. And then December 26th, I'll be at Steel Stacks with Doogie Horner, because we're Lehigh Valley natives.

And then if anybody needs a comedian, January, February to mid-March, holler at me at Jim Tooze. I'm pretty good. And that is the 15 guests of Christmas. Thank you for coming. Good night. Good night, everybody. Good night, everybody.

Oh, maybe someday we'll do that. Everybody just walk off. Oh, we did it. Nope, now's the part where we're going to start to play some games. And we're going to pick through a game we're going to determine which one of you gets to go first in the games tonight and to help us do that a good friend of the show who i believe filled the same role last year and he did it so well we asked him to come back it's's time for Doing Lines with Dale. Dale Cheeseman is here.

He threw on his Sunday best, and he came down here. And he's in need of a microphone. Hey, Dale. It's kind of crucial. Hey, Doug. Merry Christmas, Doug. Esteemed guests, listeners at home. Dale, what about the audience that's here go fuck yourself

but that's not what you came here to do do you want to do an impression though like everybody else for my impression this is this is being explained

this is Jason Statham being explained the story of Santa Claus for the first time let me get this right you're telling me this guy gets to every house in one night

he must be one L of a driver. Very good. Any plugs? Yeah, I'm going to be in Austin with him. Did you get the dates right? Trey, did Trey say the dates right? Yeah, pretty sure. 24th, 25th. We'll be in Houston with him. Did you get the dates right? Did Trey say the dates right? Yeah, pretty sure. 24th, 25th. We'll be in Houston the weekend after that,

so whatever that is, plus seven. And yeah, that's it. Cool. Keeping it low-key. Just trying to get to know myself this winter. You know? This is the game. Dale comes out, all of you quietly judge him, and I pick a winner.

Who's right? Who's wrong? Who gets to be my friend? Now, what Dale's going to do is he's going to perform for all of us a line or scene some lines from a famous motion picture probably Christmas themed

and we don't know that for sure we don't know that for sure yeah could be anything could be a curveball and all of you just

yell out your guesses when you think you know what it is. And if you don't have a microphone, just be good and loud and I'll hear it. Yeah, big advantage to three players. And Dale is the only one who knows the correct answer here. So don't turn to me if you're right or not. So Dale will keep going if all of your answers are wrong. Are you playing as well?

No, thank you. All right. Now I'll drop all the lines. I'm watching to see who gets it first. Here we go. Here we go. Santa isn't real

Well damn Okay It's Santa Claus That's it already? She got it off the What about Wait Wait

Both of you are wrong No Which Wait Settle down What How do you spell this title? You're asking me?

Yeah. You know what the title is, right? Right. Oh yeah, I guess she should spell it. Yeah. Julia? C-L-A-U-S-E. No, it's T-A-S-A-N.

But is that right? Yeah, but how? I get it, but they all start with Santa isn't real. It builds conflict. And then someone comes in and the next quote was Santa is real. Santa is Israel? Yeah. It's Tim Allen. I don't know if you know

the coded messages he hid in all of his movies. What did it for me is you had a fantastic Tim Allen impression. Oh, thank you. That's actually my inspiration. I got it from the voice. You should have gone... Before doing the line. That gave away that it was...

And also that thing about to infinity and beyond, that gave it away, too. A little bit. I'm wearing this shirt underneath with his face. Okay, goodbye. Thank you, Dale. Good job. I forget what he did last year,

but he did a whole speech. It was really dramatic. He got his SAG card. I feel bad. It was incredible.. He got his SAG card. I feel bad. It was incredible. But Julia just pounced on that. I just know my Tim Allen Christmas movies, I guess. I guess also you could all just started yelling out Christmas movies.

What was everybody else doing? I yelled that one. Yeah, Alex yelled that one. You needed more. Julia did not need more. No, that's all. Whatever, man. Thanks.

I wanted to see Dale's crap. I know, I do feel bad. I cut him off really fast. Hey, Dale, he learned the line. We might as well let him do it. Yeah, go do the whole thing. Dale, where are you? Come back here, Dale. Yeah, that wasn't the whole thing.

There's Dale. Do the whole line for us just so we can hear it. There were a few that built and slowly revealed clues, but it all went to hell. All right. It was Santa isn't real. Second one was Santa is real. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

We brought you out here to do the line, not read from your phone. Yeah, I'm catching you up. Okay, thank you. This is for clarity. All right. Down the chimney? You want me to take toys down the chimney?

Look, it's a Santa movie. You have to say these lines. All right. Well, isn't that a pretty picture? Santa rolling down the block in a panzer. Well, kids, I certainly hope you have been good this year because it looks like Santa just took out the Pierce at home. That is good.

You did it. All right. Thank you, Dale. Was this worth it? Yeah. I mean, I didn't expect, after I bragged about you memorizing the line, I didn't expect you to come out and read it off your phone,

but other than that, that was great. All right, so here's where we're going to get into some heavy competition. I love each and every one of you, but some of you are going to be leaving us very soon. Julia gets to go first. I actually hate that, because I feel like the pressure's on if I'm out in this moment.

Oh, yeah, that's a good point. That's some real karma. But you do know your Christmas movies. I do. If that's the theme, I have a shot. So I feel good about your chances. You know who I don't feel good about? The gentleman to your right, Jerry O'Connor.

That's why he's going next. Oh, no. Then Justin. We're going this way. Then Rob. Yeah, we're switching it up. Love it. Pressure's on.

We're coming around this way. That's true. You're coming around this way. That's true. You're a trivia wizard. Well, she does words, which is like, you know, scrabble. Yeah. It's not the same thing. It's not the same as trivia. But we'll get Matt Richards on sometime soon.

Okay, so this first game we're going to play, and narrow down, hopefully, quite a few of you, is called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? Yeah, baby. Now with options. So I will say to Julia a tagline from a movie, and then I'll give you three choices. One of them is the correct answer. If you miss,

you're out. Right. And it passes to Jerry and then Jerry can steal. He can just guess from the remaining two. And if Jerry misses it, it's a gimme for Justin. So anybody.

What if he still messed it up? Hey, believe me, Trey has done worse. Yeah, I can't argue. Okay, so Julie Madison starts us off. Sometimes you lose track. Never mind. Okay. Oh, well, John didn't have a mic,

but that was really funny what he said. Just for us. Julia. Yes. And Julia alone, you guys in the audience, you know not to yell out. If you really believe anything

can happen that's generic as hell well it's right up there with Santa isn't real fair point fair point is that tagline for

miracle on 34th Street, The Preacher's Wife, or Santa Claus Conquers the Martians? Wow. Can I hear it one more time, the quote? Mm-hmm. Would you like me to do it in any particular style? Tim Allen. Yeah, Tim Allen.

That seems to be the only thing working for me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Tim Allen. That's Tim Allen. That seems to be the only thing working for me. If you really believe, anything can happen. It got a little Pacino-y in the middle. If you really believe, anything can happen. That's from Santa's advocate.

Which one do you think it is, Julia? Do you need me to repeat them? It was Miracle on 34th Street, Preacher's Wife, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I'm going to go Miracle on 34th Street. That is correct! Yay! Julia's here to stay.

Now we're moving over to Jerry O.C. Population you, Jer. It's a one-man town, and he's looking for totes to hold. Jerry O'Connell is the lonely mayor in his greatest role ever. In a town with no people, one man's just trying to help. Does anyone need me to hold

something, something, something, something, something? Jerry O'Connell is the lonely mayor. Coming to a theater in New York. Is the town a stadium? Oh, hi, Caesar. You're my only friend.

It's a crow. It's a... The crow's named Caesar? Yeah. It's a crow. The crow's name is Caesar? Yeah. Well, that's what Jerry thinks. But later, the crow is given... Okay. Stop.

Stop. All right, Jerry. Are you nervous? No. Okay, good luck. You should think about being nervous. Give it a try. You don't have to walk around being all confident all the time.

You've got totes confidence. Yeah. Here's a tagline, Jerry. Oh, I just hit my tooth on the mic. I hate that. Celebrate the holidays like a mother. Celebrate the holidays like a mother.

Jerry, is that the tagline for Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas? Serial mom? Or a bad mom's Christmas? What was the last one? A bad mom's Christmas. What was the last one? A bad mom's Christmas. What was the last one? Yeah, a bad, oh, I get it.

It was the sequel to Bad Moms, and they made it especially for the holidays. Bad Moms Christmas. Did they make a Bad Moms sequel? Yeah, it's called a Bad Moms Christmas. Did they make a Bad Moms sequel? Yeah, it's called A Bad Moms Christmas. The movie he's mentioned several times is the sequel. But did they make a Bad Moms Christmas sequel? Yeah.

A Bad Moms flag. Celebrate the holidays like a mother. I guess... Oh, God, my heart is saying go with Madea. But I'm not sure that they would throw a

quasi-curse into the marketing of that film. I'm sorry, I just had an edible before we came out here. That's why you kept taking a knee. I'm going to go with Medea's Christmas film. Jerry, you know I love you.

But that's it, you're wrong. Jerry O'Connell, ladies and gentlemen. ladies and gentlemen. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Jerry.

I hope everyone appreciates that Jerry O'Connell committed to a bit where he knelt and transferred everyone's gifts across the stage and then was the first person eliminated. Now he's the loneliest mayor downstairs. I also have a theory that he wanted to leave and he threw that intentionally. Don't worry.

That's my running theory. He'll be back in The Loneliest Mayor's Christmas. Christmas is a brother. Is that a sequel to The Loneliest Mayor? Yeah. Loneliest Mayor's Christmas? One other guy moves into the town, and guess who it is? It's Santa!

He's now down in the dressing room, population him. Santa Claus moves next to Mayor Jerry, but he doesn't come to his house. That's why he's the loneliest mayor. He wasn't a good boy. That's why he's the loneliest mayor He wasn't a good boy I feel like people are going to start throwing the game now So they can hang out with Jerry O'Connell This is your one opportunity for one-on-one time

With the most handsome man in the world That's ridiculous I'm going to guess Medea's Christmas as well Hang out with Jerry while he's high out of his mind. He'll answer you truthfully about all your stand-by-me questions. Was that an animatronic, dear?

Did you really? Was it a real train? You know, I did that to him one night. I just peppered him with stand-by-me questions. We got drunk together. Yeah, and the next day,

and I got really emotional because it was such an important movie for me as a kid. And he was telling me all about it in river phoenix and opening up and uh and the next day we were doing a play together it was we had like a real bonding moment it was really like it was really nice you know and the next day at rehearsal some day we're like oh you guys went out for drinks how was it and jerry goes it was fun until justin started weeping like a little baby when i told him all about Stand By Me. Started crying.

Literally. Literally. Tears. Tears coming down his face. Now we all go around. Now you're impression. Now you do your impression? Yeah. And now everyone goes around and we each tell our personal Jerry O'Connell story. Doom, doom, doom. Cha-ah.

Doom, doom, doom. Cha-ah. Doom, doom, doom. Cha-ah. Doom, doom, doom. Cha-ah. I haven't found my pennies yet. I wasn't fat. I was husky. I brought this home. From that job, he found a large body of work.

All right, so, Justin. What are you going to do, kid? Shoot us all? What's this side game? No way. I'm gonna say Bad Mom's Christmas. That is correct. A gimme for Justin. As the prophecy foretold.

Okay, so now we're... Oh, no. Oh, no. John Hodgman took Jerry's chair, folded it, and delivered it to the other side of the stage. Chair removal service. Jerry casts a long shadow. It's like he's still here.

Where did Justin go? Does Justin think he... Oh. Think he's really just hanging out with Jerry? Yeah, he wanted to hang out. That's enough. There's a tag on the stage that's attached to nothing that says, I need this one back

after the show. Oh, he brought it. He didn't leave with it. You think Jerry O'Connell put that on the chair? He needs a chair that badly? She needed her Snow Trooper hat back because it's raining outside. Snow Trooper.

Snow Trooper. All right, Justin's back. What are you doing? Passing out beers? Grabbing some beers Trent McNeely nice that was my Jerry O'Connell

wouldn't it be funny if we went we just kept playing this game for a long time and Jerry's the only one that got knocked out alright Rob

you ready? I'm ready what movie is this the tagline for? her child All right, Rob, you ready? I'm ready. What movie is this the tagline for? Her child would change the world. Her child would change the world. Is that... It's not Madea. Rosemary's baby?

All right, you guys. There's a movie about Will Smith's mom? Even comedy guesses are going to ruin this game. Rob, is it The Golden Child, The Nativity Story, or Mrs. Doubtfire? Oh, that's The Golden Child. That is incorrect. Thank you for playing Rob Cantrell, ladies and gentlemen.

Rob Cantrell is legendary. The chair dies as you watch it die. R.I.P. He's also got the hood up like it's death taking the chairs away. Really ghosts the Christmas future. Wing it into the audience. Rob Cantrell, everybody. Seth is up.

Do you remember the options? Yes. Which one do you think it is? Letting the turkey suit do all the work. I'm going to say it's the nativity story. That is correct. There we go. Yes! Wow.

Jim Tews. Oh, boy. You're in it to win it. Am I? No one's better suited to be this bad. Jim, is that tagline from Bad Santa? Scrooged? Or Bad Santa 2?

What the fuck, Doug? What the fuck, man? Why would you do this? You know my record. It's not good. It's all random, dude. Which one do you think it is? Fuck.

Bad Santa 2. That is correct. Wow. I did it for you. Yeah, that's wild. That's good. The audience reacted like Jim just won the World Cup. Feeling was electric in the room.

Wow, we nailed it. 30% chance. Unbelievable. 33% chance of getting it right. Just a quick note for me. Go ahead and continue to be excited about what's happening. Don't listen to Josh. He's cynical.

I'm a Jew on Christmas. But I'll learn. Justin Thompson, you ready? Yes, sir. Okay. You're invited to a very unusual family reunion. You're invited to a very unusual family reunion. You're invited to a very unusual family reunion. Is that the tagline for Fred Claus, Elf, or Meet the Coopers?

Which one do you think that's from? Precious, based on a novel pushed by Sapphire. No, is it Fred Claus? It is! Wow. Good call. I don't know why that's more unusual than Elf meeting, you know, he meets his dad. Anyway.

Trey? Yeah. You focused? Yeah, totally. I'm totally focused. I'm not focused at all. Yeah, no, hey, yeah, thanks. Yeah.

That's going to help a bunch. Let's do this. Thank you, thanks. Yeah. That's going to help a bunch. Let's do this. Thank you, though. Seriously. No, I appreciate it. He's got you, Trey. Here's the tagline. Okay.

No. No. Ho. Ho. All exclamation points. All three words. No. Ho. Ho three words. No. Ho.

Ho. Okay. No. Ho. Ho. Right. No ho ho. Wait, no ho ho?

No. Ho. Ho. No ho ho. No ho ho. Sounds like a terrible movie about a prostitute in North Hollywood. A. Huh?

What? I haven't even given you the choices yet. Right. Once again, I'm forced to ask, what's happening? Oh, ho, ho. No, the tagline is... Oh, oh, oh. The tagline is no, ho, ho, oh.

No. Ho, ho. No, ho, ho. No, ho, ho. Yeah. No. Right. No.

Yes, no, no. Ho. Ho. No, ho, right. No. Yes, no, no. Ho. Ho. No ho-ho. It's like somebody's dog is named ho-ho. No. No ho-ho. I had a dog named Rollo, which is similar.

I don't like it. No, Josh, no. Ho-ho, no. No. No ho-ho. No. Ho, no. Ho, ho, no. No. No, ho, ho. No. Ho, ho. You understand.

No, ho, ho. No, ho, ho. You see, Josh? This is what we celebrate. No. Will this chant bring Jerry back? No, ho, ho. No. Will this chant bring Jerry back? No ho ho. No ho ho.

No ho ho. Not around here. We won't stand for it. Get it out. Vote no on ho ho. Trey, is that the tagline for? Wait, all of that? Everything we just said is the tagline for Wait all of that? Everything we just said

Is the tagline Even the voting part? Is that the tagline for How the Grinch Stole Christmas Gremlins Or Christmas with the Cranks No Ho

Ho How the Grinch Stole Christmas No Trey Gallion ladies and gentlemen Bye everybody He's getting a hug from the Grim Reaper Slash St remover. Do you need an extra strong stool remover?

Try John Hodgman. All right, Doogie, Trey helped you out. He narrowed it down to Gremlins or Christmas with the Cranks. No ho-ho. I guess I'm going to say Christmas with the Cranks. That is correct. That is correct. I think I remember the tagline for Gremlins was a totally normal Christmas movie

that you should definitely bring your children to. I believe I remember that. Yeah, something to that effect. If your kids were scared of Ghostbusters 2. Just put them out of their misery. That is a Tim Allen movie, right? Christmas with the Cranks? Mm-hmm.

Yes. No ho-ho. That would be his ho-ho-ho. Ho-ho-ho. It was a real missed opportunity that his Santa Claus wasn't like ho-ho-ho. Ho-ho-ho. Yeah. Or was it?

I haven't seen that movie in a long time. I guess that tagline, no ho-ho, is because Christmas with the Cranks is like they decide to not have Christmas. Josh. I'm not a crank, I'm a Jew. Sound like someone you know, Josh.

Christmas with the Jews would be a totally different movie. It wouldn't be like no ho-ho, it would be like chicken fried rice. Yeah. Christmas with the Jews, chicken fried rice. Yeah.

Christmas with the juice. Chicken fried rice. And it's just my dad and me arguing over what movie to see for like four hours. Why does it seem like you're holding too many items? You just seem overwhelmed. I am holding too many items.

Jerry O'Connell went downstairs. There's no one to hold anything anymore. Yeah, without Jerry, my hands are really full. Okay. Look, I've been sitting up here on my high horse, but here's what you're about to find out. I'm bad at this game. We'll see.

Here's the tagline, Josh. If this movie doesn't make your skin crawl, it's on too tight. Yeah, that is legit a tagline. If this movie doesn't make your skin crawl, it's on too tight. It sounds very Crypt Keeper-y. And too tight is both all

caps. Okay, that helps. Yeah. Is it the Polar Express? The CGI was a little uncanny. But I don't think that was a selling point. Krampus or Black Christmas? What do you think, Josh? You know, I don't think it's Polar Express,

and I was really hoping there'd be another one that would make it very easy for me. But the other two, it's kind of a toss-up, so I'm going to go with Krampus. That's incorrect. Thank you, Josh Gondelman, ladies and gentlemen. I mean, I don't know about everybody else, but he's the one. Oh, denied.

Josh is going to take his own stool. He took it all the way off stage. That's the way of honor. Josh is trying to put Deathly Specters out of business. Taking the stool himself. Griffin. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Oh, ho, ho, ho. No, ho, ho. You're feeling pretty good right now, aren't you? I feel like Josh Gondelman, the great Josh Gondelman, took two hits from me tonight. One was guessing Krampus

and the other was collecting all of the anti-Semitic scorn from this audience because I'm also Jewish. And he took all of those hits. But I would like to guess

Black Christmas. That is correct. All right, Alex. All right. You get a play. Here we go. Exciting. I just watched a Tim Allen special on Netflix recently.

Why you got to be such a braggart? The entire backdrop is like a big crazy cartoon wall of tools. Like just pictures of people who are assholes? Yeah. Wall of tools. This Christmas, Alex, your name's in the tagline. This Christmas, the snow hits the fan. Terrible writing.

Someone fucking got paid for that. Terrible. Is it Snowball Express? Frozen? Yeah. Or the aforementioned the Santa Claus? Say the tagline one more time. This Christmas, the snow hits the fan.

Snowball Express. Incorrect! Goodbye, everybody. Thank you so much. Thank you for being here. Thank you, Alex Brightman. Follow me at A Bright Monster. And also you can find...

Alex Brightman with the last minute plugs. Alex Brightman with the last minute plugs. But he is a bright monster on the socials, so check him out there and go see him in Beetlejuice before he leaves in April. If he leaves in April. John, get yourself a microphone. Hi.

Hi. What are my options the snowball express or yeah your options are snowball express frozen or the Santa Claus oh he just went out on the snowball he sure did I thought for a second there you were gonna

see Gary I'm paying attention for you. I'm going to say the Santa Claus. That is correct. What a Tim Allen night this is. Real incredible. And we are out of taglines. That means... Griffin, where are you going? The bathroom.

That is correct. That was good. He is just going down there to say hi to Jerry. It's so cool. he's not lonely anymore Okay so We're going to start With Caitlin down there Hello

I'm going to relish this second and possibly last chance To be on this microphone So hi guys I think you're going to be in good shape Because going first in last Man or woman Stanton is not a bad place to be that's right we're going to get rid of everybody else

on stage through this particular game Anna's never played so I'll explain it to her I'm going to name an actor or actress that I have pre-chosen for no particular reason other than this actor has been in at least one holiday film. Once I tell you who it is, Caitlin's going to start, or just take turns. Go to Anna next, and then Julia, the ladies section. Take turns naming movies the person was in.

If you can't think of one, or you say one that's not right, it's bye-bye time. Shit. Yeah, and we're going to narrow this down this way to one person. Of all the actors or actresses out there, Caitlin, who do you hope I'm going to say? Oh, my gosh. Sandra Bullock.

Oh, so close. I wrote down Michael Caine. I confuse them all the time. I was in a movie with Michael Caine. You can find it in the deleted scenes of Going in Style

and also on my reel because no one can take that day away from me. Thank you. That's a terrific answer. Yeah, she did. She named one. Yeah.

Anna? Oh, I did. You did it, yeah. Oh, man. You know, I got a bye in the first round and I was so excited. I'm like, oh, Christmas movies, I know. Michael Caine, I don't know.

I got this. I got this? Yeah, the audience thinks you got this. Do I get a lifeline? Do you get, like, phone a friend? We do on the, like, regular version of the show, but right now we got to get this fucker over with. I was hoping you would say Will Ferrell. I was, like, ready to go for that.

Michael Caine. You got this. No, I don't. I literally don't. I feel terrible. No, I mean. Will it help if someone on the panel does an impression of Michael Caine? No, I know who he is and I can picture him perfectly.

I just can't think of a fucking name. Just start thinking of all the other things that are happening around him. In that these guys are back here going crazy. I'm letting go of Jared so badly right now. Ricky and The Flash. Michael Caine movie.

John is positing the notion that he might be in Ricky and the Flash. Who plays the Flash? I don't remember. Oh, man. I'm bummed. It's been great having you here. Wait, I gotta say a movie.

I'm just gonna pick one. Oh yeah, pick one that's got lots of people in it. He works a lot. Time to Kill. No. Damn it! But he was up for the part of the southern lawyer defending the black guy for crime he didn't commit.

Anna Roisman, ladies and gentlemen! Check out HQ Words 9.30 Eastern Time on your phone. If you have the HQ app. Oh, right. Julia? I'm very excited to say my personal favorite, A Muppet Christmas Carol.

There you go. We're back on the Christmas theme. Love it. Justin? One of my favorites. Anna and her sisters. Who? Hannah and her sisters.

Oh, Hannah, okay. Anna? That was close. Sorry. Did you think that that was a Michael Caine impression? Because it wasn't. That's even worse. That was ten times worse. That's not good.

You got to keep them short. That's the trick with impressions Keep them short Well that's just anybody That's any British person I was doing you yeah Oh okay Keep them short

That wasn't Michael Caine You're still trying to do Michael Caine Yeah yeah I am I'm gonna say The Cider House Rules I wasn't Michael Caine. You're still trying to do Michael Caine? Yeah, yeah, I am. I'm going to say The Cider House Rules. I agree. It's a great house. The Cider House Rules.

Doug. It really does rule. Jim? Could have been hanging out with Jerry O'Connell this whole time. Said I got to think of fucking Michael Caine movies. Batman Begins. Hang on a second, Justin. Okay, go.

I like to call on people before they answer so the listeners know what the fuck is happening. The Dark Knight. Was that an impressive? Yes. The Dark Knight. that an impressive? Yes The Dark Knight Yeah Yeah Good job

Thank you Yeah Master Bruce I've been crying all day He's really sad in those movies I'm done bearing wains Master Wayne You get it.

Doogie. Hello, love. That's the name of a movie? That would be a great one. Michael Caine in Hello, Love. Inception. What? Is he in Inception?

I think so. Yeah, Inception. Griffin Newman. He was in Inception He had his own totem I'm going to round it out and say Dark Knight Rises Yes, round it out I'm going to re-round it out

and say The Prestige Caitlin I'm going to re-round it out and say The Prestige. Caitlin? So many mics. Thanks anyway, Hodge Johnman. I've been wanting to say that all day. Don't ask why. Thank you. Thank you.

I'm going to go with Austin Powers Goldmember There's only two things I hate In this world People who are intolerant of other Cultures And the Dutch It wasn't great but it's a great quote So chew on that.

Wow, wow. That was good. Julia? Lord. Real quick, give us Lord. What's Lord saying in your impression of Lord? It's Lord saying corn. Okay, you could just say it before you do it.

That's how good it is. Cally. let's see I'm giving a real shot in the dark I have this weird I should be finding another but I feel like he was in Sense and Sensibility is that right? I think he was but I don't know. Was he just a British man

and I'm just thinking of a British movie? I think so, yeah. Oh, I maybe did that. Oh, thank you for being here. Julia Madison, everybody. Julia Matt on the socials. Be sure to check out

those songs. New song for every day of December with Joel Wagoner. She's passing it on to Caitlin. Why did it stick to her but not to you? Justin? Justin? Children of men yeah

oh snap no it goes to Zog the Zog Justin's mom is here so my mom supports me. You're the best, Justin. Hi, Wendy. Sure, you have a mind.

All right. I'm going to say Alfie, the 60s version. Yeah, not the Jude Law one. Not the Jude Law one. He made him a star. Yeah. I got one. He's got it.

I got one. I mean, I got a microphone. I don't have an answer. Oh, is this the end of the line for you? A Kingsman? What? I don't know. I just made that up.

Wait, hang on. Did I just write a movie? Hang on. Calm down, everybody. No, wait, wait, wait. Oh, fuck. Do you know all the words? I'm going to hang out with Josh Gondelman.

What's that? You don't know all the words? No, I don't. Yeah, it's a tricky title. No, it's not. Well, if you don't. Yeah, it's a tricky title. No, it's not. Well, if you don't know what it is. We all know what you're talking about. I know.

But yeah, you've got to get the right words, unfortunately. I need to get rid of people anyway. Yeah, I know. Thanks, Doug. Jim Toos, everybody! Sorry. Justin. Thanks, Jim.

Was it Kingsman the Secret Service? Yeah, Kingsman the Secret Service? Yeah, Kingsman the Secret Service. He was so close. Yeah. Doogie? A Bridge Too Far. Okay. He was in it.

No one believes you. Everyone was in it. Pretty much every actor. I believe it. And he was one of them. Yeah was in it. Pretty much every actor. I believe it. And he was one of them. Yeah. All right. Griffin.

Michael Caine is my number one worst impression. Oh, okay. Let's hear it. So I want to do it quickly. I love it. Do not go softly into that good night. The movie is Interstellar. Oh, okay.

I like that approach. Doing a little impression. That's a line from the movie. I'm not sure that I have all the words for it. Jaws 4. The Revenge? I like it. I think there's no four.

I think it's just Jaws the Revenge. Okay. I'll allow it. I'm very happy to leave. No, no. I'm happy for you to stay. We have to pass the microphone back to Justin. Justin, real quick. This is something I have to do.

Doogie, pass the microphone back to the Justin in the back row, I'm sorry. Michael Caine's not in that movie. Oh, Shutter Island? You're going to make me look up another movie? Because I don't think he's in that one either. All right, well, I'll see you later. Justin Thompson, everybody. Okay.

Just go. Push it over. Michael Caine is in the first Kingsman. What does he do? He plays, like, the boss of the agency. Is that what that means? 100%. Uncredited? No, I think his name is Arthur. He plays like the boss of the agency. 100%. Uncredited? No, I think his name is Arthur.

They all have like Arthurian night names. I believe he plays the character of Arthur, head of the agency in Kingsman, the Secret Service. All right. Justin's back in. I just looked it up and IMDB thinks he's not in it Thanks Griff That's like a cameo at the very beginning

No I think he's like a major part And you find out he's Spoilers the bad guy at the end What the fuck? Hodgman's so upset. Yeah, he's got a big part in it. You're right. I just need to stand up for a fellow nerd. Yeah. No, that was good.

That was good. The audience is still yelling shit like I care. We worked it out, you guys. Everyone is still yelling shit like I care. We worked it out, you guys. Everyone is happy and everything is great at the end of King's Men, the Secret Service. It turns out he's Santa.

Santa is real. Santa is real. Thanks, that guy. Santa is not real. Thanks, that guy. Santa is not real. Griffin, what did you say? I said interstellar.

Yeah, okay. John? Jaws the Revenge. Oh, yeah. We went through that already. Okay, now we're back on track. Caitlin? There's been so much stalling,

I really hoped I would come up with something. This is humiliating. Because all I can think of is the movie that he was in with Haley Joel Osment and I can't remember the name of it. Oh, right. It doesn't have the best name. No, it's like something long-ass shit. There's like lion. There's like...

Is it called long-ass shit? Long-ass shit. Something about a lion. Like lions in fucking summertime, lazy bitch lions. It's in the South. It's a great description of the film. Didn't see it. It looked terrible.

He was like, but he did, it was like Michael Caine doing a Southern accent and like remembering him like, Robert Duvall too. But what was the name of the movie? You can't ask

the other panelists what the answer is. The long ass shit. Um, fuck. Oh, god damn it. I don't fucking know.

It's not Lion in Winter. It's like something about summer. You know what? I'm just gonna go. We'll find out later what it is. Thank you so much

Kaylin Carlson! Ladies and gentlemen! Before I go, can I just do the one Tim Allen sound that no one has made? Oh, okay. Oh! Oh! Sorry, it's just right there.

Alright. Oh! Oh! Sorry, it's just right there. All right. Oh! Oh! Oh! The movie, Kate... No, sorry. Secondhand Lions. Secondhand Lions.

Secondhand Lions. These lions have been used. What a fucking stupid title. Lightly used lions. It's perfect for trivia. New to you, lions. Seth? The Italian Job.

Right? That's a correct answer. That's a correct answer. The Italian Job. You did it. Very dirty movie. All right. Now, Justin, as you have been sitting here

saved by everyone being smarter than me, have you thought of any other Michael Caine movies to make this a really exciting comeback story? No, I haven't, unless he's in Dunkirk? He's in Dunkirk?

What? He's the voice on Tom Hardy's console. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Get the fuck out. The luckiest boy in New York. You guys planned that. You planned that.

You think that just because we look and sound exactly the same, we are somehow in cahoots? I don't think you're different people. That was just done luck. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. You can cut it.

Doogie. Get Carter. Get him. Get Carter. Get. Sorry. You can cut it. Doogie. Get Carter. Get him. Get Carter. Get that Carter. Get him. It's Griffin now. I'm going to name his most prestigious role.

Secret agent Finn McMissile, and Cars 2. John Hodgman. Gary, I hope I've done right by you, finally. This is the last Michael Caine movie that I know. And I know I will not win. And you're just going to have to fucking deal with it. And not remind me every now and then. Twist the knife.

Gary. That's not the name of the movie. Sleuth. Mm-hmm. That's all I got. Justin Long is he in the Get Carter remake the one with

Stallone probably can I say that yeah Griffin's back there confirming it and I'm over here going

Newman oh that was the one I said. I said the remake. Oh, shit. Sorry, sorry. That's the one he meant. Sorry. Seth. So many

to name. So little time. I think he also makes a cameo in the Kingsman Golden Circle as what? as the guy he was in the first one I think he dies in the first one no

he's a ghost in the second one he does show up in the Golden Circle I'm the ghost of Michael Caine say? I'm the ghost of Michael Caine. Goddamn ghost. No, it goes up and down. I'm the ghost. Excuse me, but boo.

Yeah, yeah. Excuse me. I'd like to scare you down. See, it's up and down. It's up and down. Yeah, you're getting it. Yeah, that's how it goes. It's like stairs going up and then down.

Golden Circle. No. I think he's in it, right? No. Everybody hates you. Let's fucking carve that turkey up, baby. Seth Herzog, everybody! Can I make one more guess?

No. Just five more. Don't forget your phone. You jive-ass turkey. The chairs are toppling. We have low... Oh, shit.

You normally say something clever and then do that. I apologize to the house. That was the worst mic drop ever. That was the worst. I'm very, very sorry. Get back in your seat, Griffin. We only have one lone man in the front row. When the night is calm and the land is dark.

But now we're on, we'll call you Justin 2. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Did you think of any? Got any other wild guesses? I didn't think of any last time. No. I can't believe I made it this far.

He nailed it with Dunkirk. I don't even belong here. What a dream. So this time you really are done, Kirk? Listen. Listen. How could we forget? Griffin, back me up. Memento?

Oh, I see what you were doing there. He is not memento. Get the fuck off the stage. Thank you for being here. Justin Thompson, ladies and gentlemen. Did a great job, dude. Thanks, man. Yeah.

Hold your head up high. I think... You're like the Rudy of this episode. Didn't accomplish anything, but we all really admire you. Just for showing up. Doogie? I think he was in The Longest Day, but I'm not positive.

What's that? It's like A Bridge Too Far. It's one of those war movies that every British actor is in. Hmm. Okay, let's move on while I look that up. Griffin? Okay, let's move on while I look that up. Griffin?

I believe he was in the movie Zulu. Very good. Talks about it in his book as one of his first films. Wow. Okay. What am I looking up? The longest day. Yeah, I'll wait for you to look that up. Okay.

If I give you a couple others, will you look those up too? The longest day, I've never even heard of it. It sounds slightly made up. I know it's real. It sounds phony. It's a movie about this podcast, actually. You're talking about a movie that stars John Wayne? That's the longest day.

I guess so. There's no Michael Caine in this shit. Red Buttons is in it. That's who I was thinking of. Hello, it's me, Red Buttons. You know, a British fella. I'm looking through the whole cast, though, because I want to be absolutely sure.

Because it's got a lot of fucking people in it. Yeah, that's why I thought you might be in it. You know, he might pop in there. Roddy McDowell is in it. Sal Mineo. Oh. Yeah, Robert Mitchum. What the fuck is this movie? It's probably a long ass movie. It's a long day.

God damn, it's the longest day. It's the longest cast. George Siegel, Rod Steiger, and I'm way into the cast list at this point. One thing you could do is look up Michael Caine's filmography. Oh, and then scroll through all of those? Cross-reference.

He is not in it. Okay, okay. Thank you, Doogie Horner. Zoo was with Sean Connery as well, if I remember correctly. Seems like that's about right. I remember that videocassette cover. You read as a big Zulu kid. Like you grew up on Zulu.

We'll cut that. We'll cut that from the podcast. Let me just make a note. We even started rolling. right uh sorry um oh there seems like there should be one that i would know i could i could make a joke guess or a shot in the dark yes i'll do the joke guess won't be funny anymore. I was going to do Dunkirk 2, radio guys still on the air. But instead... Was he in the Albert Finney murder on the Orient Express?

No. Alright. Fair enough. John Hodgman! Ladies and gentlemen. I'm glad at least that it ended with the three co-stars they don't understand

but you know what I'm talking about goodbye that was an incredible reunion Justin how are you feeling? it's always nice. I saw him a couple... I hate to burst you. Did you think this...

Play the game! It was the best. I want to say one of the Muppet movies he cameoed in, and I'm... Oh, that one that was mentioned earlier? No, that was a sizable role he had. I think he cameoed in... Oh, I see what you're doing. The Great Muppet Caper, I'm going to guess. No.

No. No. We're pretty sure on that, right? Yeah. Caper, anyway. I don't think he was in that one. No. Well, I was kidding anyway.

Oh, I see. Okay. No, my real answer. Give us your real answer. That was pretty funny. No, I... kidding anyway. Oh, I see. Okay. No, my real answer. Give us your real answer. That was pretty funny. No, I... That's a good one. I can't think of any.

Oh, shit. Really? Yeah. No, I'm drawing a blank. Oh, my goodness. We did it. We did it. We're at the end of the road.

Justin Long, ladies and gentlemen. at the end of the road. Justin Long, ladies and gentlemen. And there he is. Our champion with a baby Groot on his shoulder. It's Griffin Newman, everybody. Where's that person you were playing for? Oh, Paul? Where's Paul at? Paul Street? Paul Street. Where playing for? Oh, Paul?

Where's Paul at? Paul Street? Paul Street. Where you at? Oh, Paul. Yes. Paul's right up front, as he often is. And yeah, you know what to do, Paul.

All of that is yours. Yeah. All those bags of shit. You get a bunch of props for my canceled TV show. Are you going to get him home okay, Paul? He's going to do it. He's going for it. There's one we're killing ourselves over. Oh, what's that? Wait, does Griffin have one more?

Griffin should do one more. Sure. I have one more. I don't know if this is the one that they're killing themselves over. Go ahead and tell us. Michael Caine was also in the remake of Sleuth. Oh. He was in both versions of Sleuth. That was going both versions of sleuth that was gonna be my next one interesting awful what is it what are you guys trying to think of

it's trying to think of the remake of sleuth goodnight he's lying thank you Thank you. What did we miss? It'd be so funny if there was like 10 minutes of you guys yelling out Michael Caine movies. I just walk off and we keep recording. Raise your hand if you have one. Okay, front row, Katie. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is a great one. You, ma'am. Miscogineality. That's why I laughed when I said he was close to Sandra Bullock and then nobody went back there. He's probably in

Miscogineality too, right? Armed and Fabulous or whatever the fuck that was called. You, sir. Blame it on Rio. You blame it on, you blame it on Rio. What else? Yes. Harry Brown. Harry Brown. Damn. Dressed to kill.

Dressed to kill. Amazing, amazing work in that one he did. That gentleman over there. The Italian Job remake. The Italian Job remake. Wasn't that the one we were talking about earlier? He's in both Italian Jobs? What's with him being in every remake of his own shit?

It's fucking weird. This lady. They already said we were just talking about it. I love your enthusiasm, though. Up here. Now you see me. Now you see me too, or whatever the fuck that was called. Now you don't see me.

Now you don't see me. Now you don't. No, you don't. This lady over here. Educating Rita. Okay. Over there. Yeah, yeah. No Mio and Juliet. Educating Rita. Okay. Over there. Yeah, yeah.

Gnomeo and Juliet. Gnomeo and Juliet. All right, that's where I have to stop this. Fucking Gnomeo and Juliet. We did it. Thank you guys so much for coming out. Thank you to the Gramercy Theater. Always a great place to do this show.

And thank you to all of my guests, all 15 of my guests. Let's hear it for them one more time. As always, positive energy! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug

loves movies! Thanks again to Watchmen! Can't get enough of HBO's Watchmen? Now you can go deeper inside the critically acclaimed new series with the official Watchmen podcast. Hosted by Watchmen executive producer and writer Damon Lindelof and Craig Mazin,

the creator of Chernobyl, the new podcast explores narrative choices, uncovers Easter eggs, and examines the show's connection to the groundbreaking graphic novel. Stream Watchmen now and catch new episodes Sundays at 9 only on HBO.