Doug Loves Movies - The Twelve Guests of Christmas - Season Finale

Episode Date: December 22, 2010

Doug welcomes twelve of his favorite guests back to the show for a Leonard Maltin Game battle royale!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

One, two, one, two, three, four. Doug hates Candy wrappers, green ink babies, sticky seats With 50 as in popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one That he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Movies! Hey everybody! My name is Doug, and I love movies.

Welcome to Doug Loves Movies. That was Garfunkel and Oates and Hard and Firm singing Hard Firm's theme song for Doug Loves Movies. Yay. Welcome to the super special monster all-Star Holiday Extravaganja app of Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles, California on Tuesday, December 21st, 2010. Don't forget to come see me at the Irvine Improv Sunday, December 26th. The San Francisco Punchline, December 28th to 29th. The Irvine

Improv. The Irvine Improv. The Improv in West Palm Beach, December 31st 2010 and January 1st 2011. Yeah, that's a New Year's Eve and New Year's Day gig. And then I'm going to be

at Rosita's in Barstow on January 25th. Yeah, Barstow. Road trip it. As you can see, there are lots of chairs on the stage. And that's because for this very special edition of the show, Comedy

Death Ray took the week off, so we got a whole slot to ourselves, so this is going to be a 90-minute show. And I thought, what? I thought, what should I do with 90 minutes? Like, what would be a fun thing to do with 90 minutes? Oh, I know. I'm going to piss off everyone who hates the Leonard Maltin game

and play the biggest Leonard Maltin game ever. So I gathered up 12 competitors, and you know and love, I'd say 90% of them. I think it's a pretty good lineup. So I'm going to bring them out one at a time and chat with them for a sec before we head into the game. And this first person out here is a first-timer on the show.

I've been trying to get him on the show for a while, and things don't work out because he's got kids and stuff. But you know him and love him. If you like the TV shows Sports Night or The West Wing, please welcome my new friend Josh Molina to the show. Have a seat right here next to me, Josh. Thank you. Say hey to everybody.

You have a very... This is a weird way to interview somebody. Like looking over your shoulder like a total creep. But just briefly, I just wanted to say thank you for being on the show finally I enjoy your work a great deal thank you for having me thank you and thank you and Backwash

is a web series that you do that you're the you're an auteur of the thing right? you star in it and write it the New York Times recently called it you're the you're an auteur of the thing, right? You star in it and write it. The New York Times recently called it as grimly unfunny as Hudson Hawk. Now see, that's

if you're gonna, like, why not pick something that's grimly unfunny? Hudson Hawk has some good parts. That's how I feel. That's my defense. Okay, so it's Backwash has some good parts, so check it out. Exactly. It's in shorter bursts than Hudson Hawk.

That is true. It should give you brevity points. 13 7-8 minute episodes. Each one starts off with a really funny or famous person. A different person of note. Introducing it sort of Masterpiece Theater style. Some of them are here tonight.

It's great. How do you see here tonight. That's true. So it's great. So how do you see Backwash? Crackle.com. Crackle.com. You can see it on Crackle. Yeah, all right. Or on YouTube. And Josh hasn't heard the Leonard Maltin game portion of the show,

so don't hold that against him. I might be bad at it. He's a very good game player. That's true. But I have not seen an adult, not an adult movie. I have seen an adult movie. I've not seen a grown-up-y movie in about a decade.

I might be bad at it. Alright. But I'll try. That's all we can ask is that you try. I played poker with you one time and Lauren Graham was there at the same table. We were in some big tournament. Oh, in like a charity tournament? I was like,

it wasn't even for charity. It was just like, yeah, some guy that was connected just got a bunch of people together and had a big game. It was over on, right near the Hollywood Bowl.

Anyway, you don't remember it. It was the night of my life because I was a big fan of your work and a big fan of Lauren Graham and we're all at the same table and she turned out

to be a complete poker dipshit. Right. But I got to enjoy her and just have fun with her because you were what I would have been if you weren't there which is someone

who kept the game moving forward and kept telling her to stop being such an idiot and just play the fucking game and I got to sit there and laugh at what, you know,

and be silly. But yeah, but you were the alpha at that game I was telling her to stop being such an idiot and just play the fucking game. And I got to sit there and laugh. It was definitely odd. It would be silly. But yeah, you were the alpha at that game. And I can't wait to play for you or with you. I won't play on your behalf. But the next time Sarah Silverman has a game and you're there and I'm there, because that's never happened,

I will be delighted. That will be fine. That's kind of a bullshit game. You will tell her to keep the game going. In fairness, it's kind of a bullshit game. her to keep the game going. In fairness, it's kind of a bullshit. But you keep the game going, don't you?

There, I don't even bother. Oh, you don't even try? Because the games are all like, we'll make an H and any three contiguous cards plus two

and half the cards are wild. Speaking of games, the next person I'd like to bring out here, thank you, Josh. Do I? You can move down a seat

or you can stay next to me but just share the microphones. I think I can see you better from here. next to me, but just share the microphones. I think I can see you better from here. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Let this guy sit here. I watched it last night. I'm not sure of the schedule of the show.

It's one of those game shows that they run on repeated nights randomly, or I don't know how it works. But I watched it last night, the premiere of... Did anybody watch Million Dollar Drop? A few people? If you haven't seen it, you will, either in clips on YouTube or you'll watch the whole show.

It's crazy, insane, and the host of it is here. Please welcome Kevin Pollak, everybody. There he is. Much more casual. Why, hello. This is a more casual Kevin Pollak than we're used to seeing. You've all set your parents' DVR, I take it? I see what I did.

Because they're young, Josh. But yeah, it's a great show. What show is that, Doug? Million Dollar Drop. I'm so fucking tired. I can't wait for Million Dollar Drop. I know. But yeah, it's a great show What show is that, Doug? Million dollar drop I can't wait for million dollar drop I know Can I do my entire Participation tonight

Whatever brief amount that might be As Christopher Walken Because I'm so tired I can't think as myself And they'd rather it anyway Would you mind? You want to do your entire role tonight now will you think like christopher walken or you think like kevin pollock like because

i would think christopher walken would be really shitty at the leonard malden game i don't remember that he'd say stuff like that frankenstein never scared me. Marsupials do. Because they're fast. I'm sorry. Christopher Walken, have you seen Kevin Pollak's new game show Million Dollar Drop wow knocked me

socks off yeah makes me want to dance that fucking shot do you remember when it's on it's airing four

nights in a row that's the launch oh Kevin's back everybody last night through Thursday I felt that Chris needed some help. So it's four nights in a row

and then it's done or will it continue on? No, it's... Then we follow Glee every Tuesday and launch it again in the new year. Okay, cool. We're following the Glee now, which I can't imagine anyone...

Because by the time this plops, those four nights of your show will be done. They will have not have... They have happened already. Yes, sir. Because this comes out on Friday, but... Every Tuesday in the starting line. Every Tuesday after Glee. Everyone's going to be watching Glee anyway, so

might as well stick around and watch people lose tremendous amounts of money over stupid trivia. It's fantastic. That's pretty much the game. Yeah. It's amazing. Thank you for coming, Kevin Pollack. Let's bring out our next competitor. You're going to be a strong's bring out our next competitor. Kevin's a strong competitor.

I played with Leonard Maltin and Kevin and Sam Levine on Kevin's chat show, Kevin Pollack's chat show, which is also a great thing you should check out. Can I plug you in for one second? Yeah, please. Because we just had Billy Bob Thornton on. He'll be on. Oh, my God.

Did you ask him about acting? Did you mention any of his movies? I was only allowed to ask about music, but we did talk for three and a half hours. No. He'll be on Sunday, three o'clock, after the Christmas, on the Sunday after Christmas.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so after the Christmas. After the Christmas. Listen to that. I'm going to move up to the back row. I'm uncomfortable up here. Whatever row you want to be in.

Kevin Pollack. Where do I go? Just sit there weirdly in the middle of the back row. I'm uncomfortable up here. Whatever row you want to be in. Kevin Pollack. Just sit there weirdly in the middle of the first row. I love it. Oh, no. I didn't mean to insult my new friend. Please welcome to the stage another...

These are all people that have been on the podcast before and he's been on numerous times and he swore a lot in front of Leonard Moulton Please welcome Graham Elwood everybody Hi What kind of weird-ass hippie beverage did you just bring onto the stage?

I brought a vanilla coconut protein from the good people at Harvest. Hi, hippie chick sitting on the front stage with homemade jewelry. So you... Are you hoping that... Namaste. Are you hoping that now they'll bring a truck of it to your house?

Yes. You hear that, Harvest? I'll plug your shit. Come on now. Free fucking protein juices, bitch. Shit, bitch. You're coming up with all the exact words you need to sell a product. Yeah, I'm the best pitchman ever.

Drink this fucking shit, you bitches. Fuck you if you don't. pitchman ever. Drink this fucking shit, you bitches. Fuck you if you don't. We did Douglas Movies Live in New York City together, Graham Elwood, last weekend, which is available for two bucks in the

comedy album section of iTunes now or soon, depending on when you're listening to this. Did you have a good time doing that, Graham? That was great. The Gramercy Theater was awesome. The New York fans were, they brought it. It was nice.

It was nice business. Little bit on you, LA. Little bit on you. All right. Namaste, sisters. These guys have been great tonight. Our next guest. Thank you, Graham Ellred.

Our next guest, you know know from Comedy Death Ray Radio, please welcome Scott Aukerman! Wherever you want, buddy. Just get your hands on a mic. Not my mic. Can we share this with Mike Bruce Briggs? No, that's creepy. I don't like that. Our mouths are too close.

Do ask, do tell. All right, this is going to be another weird interview. Another over-the-shoulder interview. Over-the-shoulder boulder holder. Am I right, folks? You are correct

with word usage. you pronounce them all correctly what you did with the the charity comedy death ray charity auction what you did with the money we'd like to know now before Julian Assange tells the world world uh seventy seven thousand dollars you raised for the we're nearing it on 78 78 000 for the la food bank and uh as one of my uh one of my auction items was go to the movies with doug benson so i went with a young man named eric cupo to the to see tron legacy a couple days ago in New York City. What a snooze fest. He was interesting. Yeah, that's what I

said about that movie is looks 10, personality 3. It was a lot like bio-digital jazz, though. Don't mess with my zen thing, man. It was bio-digital jazz. What was I don't mess with my Zen thing it was bio digital

jizz and what was I going to say about oh you went to movies

and then another guy bid to be on Douglas movies Sean Sacamane he's going to be on sometime soon and you were

kind enough to match a lot of those bids I had to match not completely I had to match 2000 on one

and 1000 on the other and then the way it worked out, it ended up being, here's my check to the LA Food Bank for $2,680. There you go. Flash, flash,

flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, flash. Kevin Pollack's got a camera. Wow, so many pictures. We here at Comedy Death Ray accept this check. Flash, flash, flash. Kevin Pollack's got a camera. Doug, we... Wow, so many pictures. We here at Comedy Death Ray accept this check. Flash, flash. Gratefully and thankfully, you are a great supporter.

All right, enough. Enough flashing. My eyes. And you were great enough to show the back of the check. Well, I don't want to show the front of it because it's got some personal information on it that I don't want to... Nobody needs to know. What personal information? The name of my company and stuff.

People didn't need to know that. It's called Digital Jizz, my company. That's why I'm embarrassed by it. Digitaljizz.org. Check out the website. Thanks, Scott Aukerman, for all you do and all you're doing for podcasting over at Earwolf. You've got lots of great new shows.

People that love podcasts love Earwolf. Hey, I just wrote a new slogan for you guys. Okay, and then the next to the stage is, what can I say about this guy? He's called Patton Oswalt. Thank you. Hi. No one wants to sit near Graham. They're all afraid of me, man. No one will sit near Graham. This is awesome.

This is fucking fierce. There's going to be people standing in the third row to stay away from you. You're dressed like you just want to start swinging at people. That's how it's gonna go down tonight. And everyone was afraid to sit near the whistling jackass.

Oh, there you go. You set it off. It's the whistling jackass's lonely yuletide on ABC Family Channel. So, Graham brought an entire

album of that. It's his contribution to the prize package. Anywhere Graham sits is a bunch. Bus bench. Oh, I fucked that up. God damn it. I meant to the prize package. Anywhere Graham sits is a bunch. Bus bench. Oh, I fucked that up. God damn it. I meant to say bus bench.

Because you're a crazy old guy in a bus bench. Whistling away. Patton brought a copy of his book, Zombie Spaceship Wasteland. Yeah. Two weeks before it comes out. Oh, it's an early copy. So he brought that. Kevin Pollak brought a $5 bill.

Josh Molina brought that he made. Twilight Eclipse. It's on DVD, not Blu-ray? DVD? DVD, okay. And Scott brought a copy of the Comedy Death Ray Christmas CD And

Graham brought his CD Comedians Gotta Boo Boo I was gonna say what everybody brought When they came out but I screwed it up We're all caught up now How you doing Patton? I'm doing very well Any movie right now that you think people need to see?

King's Speech I wish I could say something funny, but holy fuck was that movie great. And holy fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck was that movie great. And when you see it, you'll know what I mean. You know what I'm saying. Stutterers drop a lot of F-bombs.

Oh, boy. Especially the British ones. Oh, yeah. And royalty. Speaking of royalty, trying to keep this smooth as possible. I thought he was going to take on him. Yeah, bring the next guy out, for God's sakes.

Let's bring the next guy out. Sarah Silverman, everybody. Yeah! Grab that microphone. Is this a surprise party? Thank you. I thought everybody forgot. That was crazy. I've also been... I'm supposed to be having everybody say

who they want to play for in the audience tonight. We've got to get players for everybody. I screwed this all up. I could never host Million Dollar Drop. I'd tell them the answer while they're agonizing over where to put the money. I'll play for Maria. Who would you like to play for?

Maria? Yeah. Okay, can you give Sarah your name tag? That's an awesome name tag. Yeah, I liked her name tag. She's close by. She's got a big drapey necklace. Oh, okay.

Necklace. It ends into her bosom. I'm playing for Jordy and Fletch. There's two on board there. I'd like to play for both of them. Is that possible? She's got two names on? Why do you have two names on?

Well, she's Preggers. Oh. And the baby's called Fletch? Yeah, that's the reason I want to play for them. That's pretty hip. She's not just some fat bitch, Doug. Oh, Lord. She doesn't look pregnant. She's got her legs

crossed, even. I'm gonna play for whoever this... I can't see your name. It looks like you got here and realized, oh, fuck, there's name tags, and you grabbed... Did you make it when you got here, or did you make that at home? Then I support that last minute panic. Steffi! Doug, I'm going to play

for Roxanne. Is that you? Alright, love it. Hey Doug, I feel like everybody got a couple minutes of attention, and I didn't. I got totally skipped. Please welcome Paul F Topkins Wait, does that say union? All right. Paul is playing for Caitland. Wait, does that say Union? All right.

Paul is playing for Caitland. Are we sharing microphones? Yeah, we're passing them around. Thank you for coming. Doug, thank you for having me on Doug Loves Movies. See, that's how you get the two minutes, Sarah. You should have walked around in the audience for a little bit. Here's what you do. Here's how you get the two minutes, Sarah. You should have walked around in the audience for a little bit. Here's what you do. Here's how it works.

You know who I think could top that? Jimmy Pardo, everybody! Thank you! Are there enough chairs left? They opened the show live and they did an amazing job. Please welcome Kate Micucci, Mike Furman, Chris Hardwick, and Roe Lindholm. Hello. Hello. Hi there. Hi! Hello! Hi! Oh, was it hard and firm? Great! Hi! Hi, Doug! Hi! Let me ask you this, Ricky.

Oh, hello! What's up, Jimmy? Oh, that was awesome. Right here. There you go, Mike. I do not deserve this. Who do you want to play for? Pick a name tag. I'm playing for Matt because he has a robot on his sticker. It's a what?

It's a Dalek. It's a Dalek? Oh, fucking sweet. Exterminate. All right, you know what that is. Chris Hardwick is jealous of your Dalek. I think robots are going to take over the world, so no, I will not play for a robot.

The deadliest creature is a robot, just a shell. They're really squid-like creatures, you fucking piece of shit. They're squid-like creatures who live in a flying shell that looks like this. Jimmy, do you watch Doctor Who at all? I do not. Okay. So we got

Kate and Ricky and Chris and Mike. What are you doing? Graham's still walking around. Graham wants to play for Hans. I want the German! Did you pick somebody, Mike Furman? I got Steffi who ran outside and DIY'd this.

I'm going to pick Jennifer right here with the little... You're just doing that to get her phone. That's right. Who's Ricky playing for? Pick Dana! Ricky's playing for Dana.

I'm playing for Dana because she's got a cute one. Kate likes Steve. Ricky's playing for Dana. I'm playing for Dana because she's got a cute one. All right, Steve, come on. Kate likes Steve. There you go. Are you still single, Kate? Sure. Sure. She is tonight.

You're halfway home. What happens on a podcast? Steve's on a podcast. That's fun. That's like that commercial. She took my name tag tag How you like them apples I'm sorry I'll be quiet Yeah

Oh Jesus God in heaven Is that a Doctor Who Noise you're making now Well it's a sonic screwdriver It's a sonic screwdriver Doug Why do you have to be so stupid? I just fixed the mic. There you go.

Are you sure it's not an obliviator? Alright. Before we continue, I wrote here Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark can suck it. I went and saw that piece of shit and they said at the beginning the producer came out not dressed up like he was in a theater

just this total slob comes out and goes sorry everybody this is a work in progress so bear with us and they're charging full price and they have advertisements on television saying get your tickets now and so I thought I would keep this to myself if it were truly a work in progress

that I got to see. But I paid so I can tell you that it's horrible. And the footage today on YouTube of Spider-Man falling to potential death made me lash out on Twitter and it's amazing how many people defended Bono.

Alright, that's the end of that story. I'll have more to say about that as we go on There's a Broadway show called Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark that Bono and the Edge wrote the music for and it's Jimmy Pardo has a question

Oh, he's just acknowledging that it happened He said, Jimmy, I'll take over from here He said to me and forgive me for telling tales out of school but you're behaving like a schoolboy. He said, is this a movie? And I said, no, it's a Broadway play. And he said, then why are we talking about it?

Oh, I see. He's being a stickler for the theme. We should stick to the theme. You get to say that. Should I not bring up the John Cougar Mellon Camp Aquaman musical I saw? Because that had a lot of problems. Well, I'll talk about that on another podcast.

Sorry. Little ditty about Arthur Curry and Mira. Can I give props to Doug and just say, who else on this panel could get this group together? Any of you? No. I couldn't. I think Sarah could do it. There's some she wouldn't invite.

Of course. I'm a free space. I'll do any podcast. Okay. Oh, come on. I'm kidding. Let's start the game. For the listeners at home,

Sarah said, is that a Doctor Who thing? Does everybody have somebody to play for? Does everybody have somebody to play for? Yeah Oh let me take a picture of the whole group Before you start getting eliminated Yeah that's right, eliminated What? Folks, when somebody misses tonight, they're gone

Yeah They don't get to stick around From Earth, Make their jokes. They are stepping into a space rocket and we are shooting them into the sky. Actually, it's a Dr. Who fucking squid rocket that technically...

Who said that? Which one of you can make a funny voice? In season three, technically... In the original Star Wars, Han Solo shoots first. That's fucking right. That's you. That's why I picked this name. It's a different, it's a better mythology.

Is that why? That's why. Of course that's why. It's like two Han Solos. They all shot first. Of course, the original Star Wars is called A New Hope,

but who gives a fucking shit? I mean, I don't care. Whatever. I guess it's the original Star Wars. Just like Frankenstein. You might want to do it sideways. You might want to do a horizontal with this.

Based on a Curacao movie, Hidden Fortress, which parallels a lot of the ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Why are you adding a nerd voice on top of your nerd voice? Good shot. That's for the person listening at home.

It's quite a burp. Does anybody want to talk about the Jonathan Franzen book? Say it like Jerry Lewis. I just read the back of it. Say his name like Jerry Lewis. Jonathan Franzen. What's his new book called? I don't remember.

Freedom. Freedom. It's called Freedom. I think Jerry Lewis does have a point about girls not being funny because I don't think there are any women

comedians out there that could come up with something like Hey Lady. women comedians out there that could come up with something like hey lady you go girl all right let's play letter mountain game Paul, you left one of your curlers in. Sarah, you're so jealous of my naturally curly hair. Like that girl from Peanuts.

Frida. Frida was her name. Hey Sarah, try to get your hands on a mic next time you have a good one. Because the listeners probably won't hear that one. It was pretty good. I mean, they also wouldn't know that Paul had curly hair. I guess they'd know. Doug the world knows about my beautiful hair. For the wireless listener at home,

Sarah made a humorous comment about Paul's curly hair. Pot F TomCast. We should mention that. We should mention Never Not Tom cast we should mention that we should mention never not funny we should mention the artist who doesn't have a positive mention who doesn't have a podcast up here everyone has a podcast what's the hold up I wish Anna would bring me a pen case it took two years for a pad to figure out that he'd love Twitter, so in a few years from now, he'll have a podcast.

Visit my Friendster page. I was looking the other way. I thought for a second, did Justin Timberlake just walk in? Because he's the voice of Boo Boo. He's the voice of Boo Boo. He's the voice of Boo Boo. All right, so as you can imagine, this is going to be a horrible experience for me,

the contestants, the viewers, and the listeners. Still want to be the first one cut off a top chef. It's something never been attempted. Still want to be the first. Everyone wants to not be the first one to go. I forgot that that would be a thing that might upset people. It's having to lose first.

Do we have any volunteers? Kevin will volunteer to lose. No, let's all... 7 a.m. call. I'm going first. 7 a.m. call? Why do they have to drop that money so early? He has to call his plumber at 7 a.m. You're doing like

radio interviews in the morning for your show? You're doing radio interviews in the morning? Is that how we have to get up?

No. Are you working on a film? He's doing background on bones. It's interesting the way they integrate characters from other funk shows

into the stories. They just wander through. I am shooting a pilot for Adult Swim that Jason Lee co-created, stars in, and is directing. I'm not sure why that was funny. What's everybody laughing at? Yeah.

With Molly Sims and Faison Love. It's very, very funny and sick and weird and hopefully good. That sounds awesome. I hope so. Is it 15 minutes long? Yeah. Like adult swim shows? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. That was the worst follow-up question ever asked. So that's going to be on television. Probably not. You guys, get a microphone before being funny. Don't off-mic it. I just want to let Jennifer know that you have an eBay item ending soon. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God. If you're interested in your Marc Jacobs classic cute groovy satchel, black. Black. Do you want to bid on that now? Are you sure? You're good? Can he delete it? Are you going to pass it up?

Are you going to stay or pass? You can't pay full retail at that at the Marc Jacobs store on Melrose. They'll fucking rape you. You got to get this. Here. You have to swoop in. You can't pay full retail at that at the Marc Jacobs store on Melrose. They'll fucking rape you. You got to get this. Here. You have to get it here. How are we going to let that happen?

You guys, if good people do nothing, then this is what happens. This is what happens. I'm sorry. I know who I'm hoping will be out first. How are you feeling, Graham? I'm better. I'm hoping will be out first. How are you feeling, Graham? I'm better, I'm better. Okay, we'll start. Hang on, does Graham have enough liquids?

Okay. I got my Harvest Banila Coca- Stop saying it! Stop talking about that shit drink! Come on. I'm sorry. There's just 21 grams of all natural

organic protein. Can't get that on eBay. God damn it. No, you can. You can't get that on eBay. You can get anything on eBay.

Me and Josh Million are bored. When's it start? That's only what? 15% of you? I'll take it. Let's play the game. Let's do it. We'll start with Mr. Mike Furman of Hard and Firm.

Did a lot of excellent work on the Comedy Death Ray Christmas record. Congratulations on that. Thank you, yeah. And you get to pick the first category. And then we'll just go around this way well no big circle I do I just make something up or you know I'll give you the choices of categories let's horse you this Jimmy part of our show it like backgammon all right so you're at the top of the key here Mike would you like Entertainment Weekly's

Best Bad Movies? They did a poll, and these are the movies that are the best bad movies. Or would you like movies featuring Harry Potter villains? Actors who have been villains in the Harry Potter films? Or Blake Edwards' Rest in Peace?

Oh boy. I'm going to do... Aww! He died, but I'm paying tribute to him With his stupid game I'll do best bad movies Best bad movies Would you like a best bad movie from 1980

82 Or 2001 2001 Alright Listen up, everybody. Leonard Maltin gave this movie one and a half stars. It's one of the best bad movies, according to Entertainment Weekly. 2001.

2001. Year 2001. He calls this movie a vehicle for someone. And he also says, boy, it's all just describing the plot. Oh, tiresome. There you go. The definition of a bad movie. It's somebody's vehicle and it's tiresome and it's from 2001.

It's one of the best bad movies. And there are 11 names. How many names do you think you can get it in? Mike Furman, Graham Elwood, get ready to bid next. Six. Six names. All the way down to six names out of the 11.

It's Josh Molina's phone and it's his daughter, so he's not concerned. Here we go. He's saying, continue on, it's just my daughter. Graham Elwood? Do you have TB? You all right? I will go. Graham Elwood Do you have TB? Are you alright? I will go He's coughing into a handkerchief

Like Val Kilmer over there Puffing up like Walter Matthau Somebody get Josh a mustard plaster Or something Carry on He's got problems You're losing 12 pounds through your face as we speak We're very concerned about you

I can't wait until one of you guys Has to talk into a microphone that he just used Alright Graham, how many names? Five Okay, now we move down to Sarah. You can either say name it or go lower names. I'll say four. Nice.

Paul F. Tompkins. Name that movie. All right, Sarah Silverman and Paul F. Tompkins. We're going to lose a great on the first term around. Turf, arm, and barn. One of you guys is out. This is exciting. Thank you for coming.

Half this audience is going to leave if these two go. They're not both going. Very likely we'll not even hear the main person's name. Oh yeah. Far from that person. It's a big cast.

You only get four names. Do you want the clues again? No, give me the names first. I can hear all the names and then think about it for a second. Sure. Eric Benet was in this movie. Oh, married to Holly Beret.

Yes. Padma Lakshmi. Really? Married to Salman Rushdie. We're going to play that game then grant Nichols and Dorian Harewood Dorian Harewood Josh will eat is dying back there but he could still throw out a see ya he's very competitive even on his deathbed okay the people I know that you mentioned

are brownish this is 2001 it's funny when I think of 2001 I don't actually think of cynically shitting on movies for some reason and I can't remember why

it wasn't actually 9-11 right I am gonna guess remember why. It wasn't actually 9-11, right? I am going to guess... I don't know why I have this in my head and it definitely isn't this. Do you want the clues again? Yeah.

It's a vehicle for someone. Tiresome. 2001. One and a half stars from Lynn. Can I ask one yes or no question? No. So yes. Eric Benet had Malakshmi.

I'm going to say this may have been a New York-ish based thing. I'm going to say he plays... What was he doing? Going, no? I would say the person whose vehicle it was

is an ex-basketball player you say so yeah let's do it no idea guess it Mississippi masala no it was does anybody know it? Glitter. People in the audience are guessing glitter. Ricky knew it? Glitter?

Oh, Sarah Silverman has to go, everybody. Bye, Sarah. This did not work out well at all. Tighten up the shoe. That was fun. Tighten up the shoe. You guys not. Tighten up the shoe. You guys going to go horseshoe then? You're wearing a horseshoe.

You have a horseshoe right there. Everybody's so happy to not be the first. This is ugly. I don't like this. Mark's being like, I feel a little bad. Like, no, fucking eat the young. Set people on fire. This is a competition.

This is a competition. Thank you for reminding us. Why don't the people in the competition just compete? I don't know why they have to set people on fire. Is it a setting people on fire competition? Play dirty is what he's saying. I stand correct.

People who are on fire are terrible at the Leonard Maldon game. Alright, so where do we leave off? We start with Jimmy Pardo this time. Congratulations. Congratulations, Paul. I'm good, Graham. You're going to be here for a while, Paul. I will take the other one.

Jimmy, for a category, would you like big cast movies? That's not movies where someone's broken a large limb. But movies where there's a large number of people in the cast. Or holiday movies. It is the season. It sure is, to be jolly.

Yes. Or movies featuring members of the acting Phoenix family. Weren't you just saying today how much you love the acting Phoenix family? Yes, I was. But it's not the actual Phoenix family much you love the acting Phoenix family? Yes, I was. But it's not the actual Phoenix family. It's the acting Phoenix family.

When they can't do it, they are the ones that do it. The acting Phoenix family, yeah. It's the replacement Phoenixes. Ned, Linda, and Arutus. They call those three in. Great coincidence that at least one of them had a weird name. Exactly, yeah. Arutus, their very hefty daughter.

Hi, my name's Arutus. I just stand in for Joaquin. The peanut-filled pretzel dibs at catering are mine. Which category would you like to play, Jimmy? I was allowing Mr. Oswald to get his laugh, and then I will give an answer. I do not want to step on the laughter that he brings

to many. I don't know what you're doing, but I assume it's fun and humorous. I will go with the holiday films. Holiday movies. Shooter! You got it! Go Shooter. Would you like

a holiday film from 1947, 1992, or 2003? 1992. Okay. It's a tough year. Leonard gave this movie three

stars. It's not the movie I thought it was. I wouldn't begin to debate with him about it. What movie is that? Four Star Santa? Ha ha! The first. Did you see

Four Star Santa? Terrific. Terrific. Mikey Cain? Terrific. I give it three stars. Oh, that might be it then. Leonard gives it three stars and then the first thing he says about it is delightful. So that seems a little off kilter. No. Yeah, somebody's smoking weed in here.

I'm not against the idea. Oh, it's Sarah backstage. Oh, okay. And he also says the story has robust melodrama. It's robust. Robust melodrama. A delightfully robust melodramatic three-star movie. Yeah, a letter tripped over his thesaurus this day

and wrote these things about... Clearly he meant Hale and Hardy melodrama. And there are three stars. 92. That might not be working, that microphone, Paul. And there are stars 92 that might not be working that microphone there's five names five names five names Jimmy five names I go with five names Ricky okay pass it down to Ricky Lindholm from cheese Garfunkel of Garfunkel notes four names all right Kevin Pollak here's your million dollar drop.

I gotta go name that film. Oh. See, I would have passed it to the audience member that was sitting on the floor that took Sarah's chair. That's who I would have passed it to. One of the Namaste girls.

Oh, no. So, how many does Ricky have to do it in? Four? Four. Okay, I'll give you the four names. You want the clues again? No. Okay. The four names. You want the clues again? No.

Okay. The four names. Do not yell out when you know it, because you will and she might not. The names are Jerry Nelson, Steve Whitmire, Dave Goetz, and Frank Oz. Oh, Muppets Christmas. I'm going to need you to be more specific.

The Muppets Christmas Carol. That's it. Billion dollar drop. 7 a.m. call time. Damn it, Bob. He's making a... Nice. Thank you, buddy.

Thank you for coming. Oh, yeah. Thank you for coming. Oh, yeah. Yes, say goodbye. No, just... I meant to bring a DVD of my The Littlest Suspect stand-up comedy special, and that's why I left the five. So whoever gets it,

if they want to exchange it, just write to me at contact at kevinpogschatcho.com and I'll ship you off the DVD. All right. Wow. So you can exchange $5 for the DVD. I'd keep the five, the economy and all.

Josh Molina yelling, take the money, into his dirty handkerchief. He is now delirious and sweating blue liquid. He's spiriring before us. Black lung is no joke, folks. 100%! Josh will be your huckleberry, ladies and gentlemen. Okay, we're up to Kate McEuchie. Oats of Garfogel and Oats.

And you get to pick a category. Would you like Rest in Peace Steve Landisberg? Yeah, he died and he was in some movies. He was Dietrich on Barney Miller. They come in threes.

Jack Sue? When did he die? I think 20 years ago. Your fever is affecting your mouth. Look out, Inspector Luger. What? I can't wait to get messages from people on the internet. I like the parts that were off mic.

It was fun to guess what jokes they were saying. Maybe somebody could do a thing like in the conversation and run it through a special thing again. Oh, God. All right, so what categories do we have so far? Oh, Steve Lansberg passed away.

It's Samuel L. Jackson's birthday. So Sam Jackson movies. I'm going to get on the Kangol. And What colors do you think he doesn't have? Maybe a seersucker for summertime.

Kate, the other category I'd like you to choose from is In Theaters Now. Boy, that could be a current film. Yeah. Jimmy Pardo says

that could be a current film. That could be a current film. I would like to do In Theaters Now. Okay. As always, you don't get a year because it's now. Okay. As always, you don't get a year because it's now.

And Leonard doesn't give stars to movies right away. He writes a really long review and I'll try to pick out a couple of things that he says about it. He says, the film doesn't spend

more than a few minutes on exposition. So short exposition. So not Tron. Scott, that's not the elimination part of the game. I will not say whether it is or is not Tron.

But he also says A thrilling computer ride. This movie will box your way into your heart. A ride of twists and turns on light cycles. The movie is Tron.

It's a weird thing to write in a review. That's a really weird... This movie is Tron. In the event you use this review for a game, it is Tron. It's been several paragraphs since I mentioned we're talking about Tron. Okay.

He also says about it that it has gratuitous violence. So we know it's not Tron. Because you could kill anyone if they're just going to break like a vase. Then it's not violence okay um did you get those clues kate yeah it's in theaters now it's tron how many no and this is the part where you say how many names you think you can get it in there are nine names six six names this

kate mckay g finally in the game taking the microphone and putting his germs all over it. Oh, here we go. I'll say five names. He says five names. Chris? Name that movie. Oh. It's time for Chris Hardwick to go home, apparently.

I'm just saying. I'd get it in five names. And Josh is smarter than me. I feel a lot of pressure no you said name it you played your hand the die is cast you took your hand off the piece already

you have to let go you're useless anyway you never talk into a microphone you might as well not be out here useless passive aggressive show host. Well, why don't you just not talk into the microphone then? That actually seemed just straight up aggressive.

Yeah, it actually was. That didn't seem too bad. Yeah, what was the passive part? Somebody says you're useless. Guys, it doesn't matter. I've already caught Josh Molina's super bug. I have minutes to live. The Molina virus. Did the lights go out caught Josh Molina's super bug. I have minutes to live. The Molina virus.

Did the lights go out? Does everyone else know toast? It's adapting. The Molina virus is adapting. It's airborne now. It's got its own government. You've just broken a vial of Josh. We're all doomed.

Hot zone. I want to see this movie. Would you like the clues again, Josh? I think not. Okay. You have a better memory than I do. Give me the names. Five names.

Simon Pegg, Tilda Swinton, Liam Neeson, Bruce Spence, and Trey Norris. Remember that? Terry Norris. Wow.

Those are the five names in a movie that's in theaters now. Can I confer with Ted? No. Fair enough. You really don't think you know it? I told you, I'm a daddy. I don't go out much. It's not Fat Albert. I know that.

Simon Pegg and Liam Neeson. Everybody here knows it. Is that true? Raise your hand if you know. That is large family. Everybody here knows it. Is that true? Raise your hand if you know. That is large family. I exaggerated about everybody. But certainly plenty. Plenty of people know.

Thank you for your support. I'll give you one more clue. Really? You want me to stay. No you don't. The clue is, no more clues. No, I was just going to say, Simon Pegg wasn't in the... He...

How can I put this? Delicately. I can't even say it. Something about Simon Pegg. What a weird clue. I know something more that would help you with this, but... Think about Simon Pegg. What a weird clue. I know something more that would help you with this,

but there you go. Think about Simon Pegg. I'm going to move over to the Vichy Code. That was fucking cryptic. I'm also going to get my jacket. Because I haven't seen

the movie, but I know Simon Pegg. As I think about Simon Pegg, I'm just going to get my stuff together. Get your stuff together. Watch Backwash on Crackle. Thank you.

And come back sometime when you're not sick and you can stay a while I don't know the movie the movie is called you know it? Narnia the Dawn Traitor right? yeah Chronicles of Narnia Voyage of the Dawn Treader I didn't see it

go see Tangled it's wonderful. How about it? That's all right. Feel better. Thank you, Josh Molina. Wipe off that microphone. Mr. Josh Molina, Mr. Josh, Josh Molina.

Mr. Josh Molina. Five minutes, Mr. Molina, Mr. Josh. Mr. Josh Molina. Five minutes, Mr. Molina, you're on. What is happening? Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man. Who else is a good player there? Josh just passed away backstage. We lost him.

He's gone. Can you roll the Doug Loves Movies in Memoriam roll? I think if you're at home all the time, you would know more about movies because you see the commercials for movies more. He's around his kids and stuff. His kids watch commercial TV?

It's toy commercials. Sugary cereals. What's this guy doing? It's toy commercials. I feel bad for you, Doug Mampardo Hey, that's toys and stuff I feel bad that you don't have a DVR You don't ever have to watch commercials ever again But that's the thing

I think commercials are there for a reason They give you a little break in the action This is Doug Benson for the commercial council Reminding you to watch commercials. Hey, we had to stop making programs

because nobody watches commercials anymore. Sorry, everybody. No programs. It's retarded. Metneutrality! Yeah, everything's going to be

on the internet. It's true. But you're still going to, then you're going to have to sit through a commercial that you can't skip. Oh. Yeah, bitches.

Who watches The Watchmen? Doug loves commercials. I'm just saying that they pay for the programming we make. You're right. And they suck. What's the one I saw the other day

that I thought was so funny? I'm glad we could all get together. We're losing Doug. Let's think about it. Okay, we're on to Chris challenged Josh. Should we start with Patton? Yep. Pass the mic to Patton.

Oh, Patton's got a mic already. And Patton, would you like, it's Jane Fonda's birthday also today. So movie's featuring Jane Fonda's birthday also today. So movies featuring Jane Fonda. And then we'll go back to the favorites of Phoenix Family movies. And Eve Landisburg. Traitor! Traitor!

Hanoi River! Yeah Yeah I'll pick I'll do the Jane Fonda category And I'm playing for the shrapnel In my dad's left leg Yeah how's that sound Got it in fucking caisson Would you like a Jane Fonda movie From 1979, 1981

Or 1989 I'll take 79. Was that a choice? Okay. Yeah, you said. Four stars from Leonard Maltin. I know exactly what it is. I know what it is too.

Shush your mouth. Shush your multiple mouths. It's from 1979. He calls it a drama. Yeah, starring Jane Fonda. He also says that One of the producers is in the film Acting in the film

From 1979, four stars And it's a Jane Fonda movie And there are eight names And Jane Fonda is one of them How many names do you think you could get it in? Patton Oswalt Scott Scott is whispering his ear about some shit I'll do it Nate names you told him to do that I'll do it in seven all right let's get my microphone how many can you do it in Mike yeah I'm gonna challenge it that was absolutely

positive he wouldn't have to guess the movie he was strategizing with Pat and all if we just get if we just say big numbers it'll go right past us we're gonna stay longer I could not have less of an idea. That backfired. He didn't count on that train yard hobo to go, yeah, I'm going to challenge you. I'm going to let you try this.

That old boob and picture and the names. Go out of there curly top. Boom. Okay, you get seven out of eight names. It's a drama. And it's a drama. And the producer's in it. James Caron, Wilford Brimley,

Peter Donat. Brins? James Hampton, Scott Brady, Michael Douglas, and Jack Lemon. What is it? And you might have noticed a name missing from that list. Do you really not know what it's called? The China Syndrome.

Yes, that's correct. Mike Furman, thank you for playing. Thank you for creating an awesome theme song. Hey, Mike, really quickly, what did you put in the prize bag? I put in a copy of my CD, The Very Last Songs I'll Ever Record, Part 1. Yay! Where can people get it? Where can they get it? They can get it on iTunes or MikeFurman.com.

Mike, did you throw that? Did you want to get out of here? Did you throw that? No, I could not have less of an idea of any game. You have to remember, Mike. I thought, if it's not 9 to 5, I'm not going to know it, and I don't think it was that. If you would have said six names, what would you have done, Graham?

I would have made him name it for sure. Oh, see, then you would have been screwed. And there for sure. I would have made him. Oh, see, then you would have been screwed. And there was no way I would have got that. So, yeah. You played it. Sometimes playing it right is wrong. Wow. It's like poker.

Okay. If playing it right is wrong is right, then I'd... I'm tired. You got nowhere to hold on. I don't hold on. Nowhere to hold on. I can't get the rights to that. Don't hold them. I can't get the rights to that. Don't sing that.

I can't get the rights to that. Okay. Oh, that was just a song I made up about. It doesn't matter in podcasting anyway. 20 seconds is your last fair use. It doesn't matter in podcasting. Parody. You gotta know when to mold them.

Where was that? Graham said name it? No. Mike said name it. You named it. So we start with Graham. Graham Elwood. Graham, would you like Harry Potter villains,

Blake Edwards, rest in peace, or it's Kiefer Sutherland's birthday? Graham Elwood. Graham, would you like Harry Potter villains, Blake Edwards, rest in peace, or it's Kiefer Sutherland's birthday? It's an amazing day for birthdays. I will go Blake Edwards. Rest in peace. Would you like a Blake Edwards movie from 1961,

1964, or 1981? 64. 64? Interesting. Three and a half stars. Three and a half stars from Leonard. He calls it delightful. And yet only gets it three and a half stars.

But that's better than the three stars he gave to that other delightful movie. And then he also says that it has beautiful locations. Three and a half stars. Beautiful locations. 1964. It's delightful. And it's a Blake Edwards movie.

And there are eight names. I will go with zero. He says zero names. That means the shit just got real. I'm writing with a guy that looks like a Kevin Smith, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

That's who I'm looking at. That's for the live audience. That's a nice thing to say to a man. John Bear. It's a compliment. It's a compliment. Who doesn't love to be told they look like Kevin Smith? That's really nice. That's a compliment.

Too fat to fly. I didn't say that, John Bear. These guys are dicks. I think you're a fucking Jedi that could take some shit on. I was talking about Obi-Wan. Oh, that's right. Have you ever seen the drag on the Millennium Falcon? You're the drag on the Millennium Falcon.

Alright, so Paul. I don't think Obi-Wan was on the Millennium Falcon. So Paul. Yeah, he was in it once. There's that scene where they're sitting in there together. Alright. What kind of nerdist are you? He knows too much.

So, Paul of Tompkins, do you want to go into negative name territory? May I hear the clues again before I decide? Okay. And if you do decide to go negative names, however many names you pick, you have to get them in the correct order from top billing down.

It's three and a half stars. It's delightful. Beautiful locations. And Graham says zero names. And you can go negative one if you'd like. Negative two if you know the two

people. 64? 64. I have a very strong feeling Get a little for reals in here now, isn't it? Graham thinks he knows what it is I got that strong feeling as well, Doug Yeah So I think we are, as they say, two peas in a pod

Because you know what it is too? No, I'm saying you and I are Because we both feel strongly that Graham knows what this movie is no I'm saying you and I are because we both feel strongly that Graham knows what this movie is but only one of us knows what it is apparently but do you have a guess I have a

I do have a guess I do have a guess I'm worried about the credit order and I'm trying to remember another actor in the film you could just go negative one take your chances with Jimmy Pardo but it's still the credit order is a I'm not gonna take my chances with this guy kidding me you're gonna play hardball I'm gonna play hardball so you're gonna

say two names? No I think if you have an idea What the picture is You know who got top billing Geez Well give it A little spoon Feedy feet

We're going to play that game Here you go A couple bread crumbs If you'd have just sat there quietly And not acted like a weirdo Who knew the answer already That is true You could have kicked the can down the road

and stayed in the game longer. I go in. All. All in? Yeah, that's what I wanted to say. That's an easier way to say that. I go in all. I go in all. I believe there was a comma after in.

Thank you, Patton. I am going to say negative one names. Negative one names. Holy shit. Oh, it's exciting. Oh, I love it. Does that have to be an order, or can he just leave any names?

It's got to be an order from top down. So now we got Jimmy Pardo with a tough decision to make. That's a horrible decision. If I were sitting where you were, I wouldn't know either. But if I did know... Go for what? Which part? You can either make Paul do it. He might get it wrong.

Why am I going into the fetal position? Or you can go two names. Jimmy Pardo's. can go to the part of overreacting hunched over you know it's weird you can go as many as I know what I can do seven eight names loving his forehead this is really intense I'm with Paul and then I did the order, but Ricky... I'm not sure it deserves this kind of gravitas. There's still so many of us left up here. Is there a memo that I'm not allowed to talk tonight? How are we going to say a sentence?

We're good. Jimmy, are you free to come out to UCB And just say a number Negative two Wow Ricky Name that movie So the name of the movie is

I'm going to say the Pink Panther That's correct I'll go with Pete Sellers Herbert Lomb No Wow I'll go with Pete Sellers. And then who's second bill? Herbert Lomb? No! Wow! Yeah, he's not even in the top seven or eight names.

It's David Niven was second bill. Oh, Jimmy. Jimmy Pardo, ladies and gentlemen. Jimmy, say a few more words. Jimmy, J.J. Pardo. Pardo. Pardo. Pardo. Your Los Angeles Pardo.

I put in because I forgot I got the Never Not Funny chocolates. The Never Not Funny chocolates. I autographed it awkwardly. Welcome to your seats. The program was signed by Graham Elwood. Thank you, Jimmy.

Throw it away. Are you fucking kidding me? Who the fuck doesn't put lime in the two hole? Who doesn't put lime in the two hole Someone Who doesn't Who doesn't put Lom in the two hole Yeah See I was afraid

I was afraid it was a shot in the dark That's gonna be really great For the podcast listeners You don't even have a mic It's Sector Dreyfuss Didn't become a character Until the second one I was afraid it was a shot in the dark

Cause I couldn't remember the year. Yeah, they're only a couple years apart, I'm sure. Is this the DVD commentary for your answer? It is! Everybody download this twice, play one, and then play the other one on top of it. Nicely played, everybody that's still here.

You're doing a great job. Let's start with Kate down there on the end. Hi, Doug. Hey. So do you want Best Bad Movies, Harry Potter Villains, or Christmas Movies? Christmas Movies. Yay. All right.

We already knocked one of them out of there. So would you like one from 1947, 1994 or 2003? 94. The year she was born. Here we go. I was in nursery school. Two and a half stars. Two and a half stars from LM.

He calls it pretty good. Which you don't see enough in reviews of movies. Pretty good. My question is't see enough in reviews of movies. Pretty good. My question is, why does he have to verbalize the star rating? Like, I thought that's two and a half stars means pretty good. Pretty good. Between fair and good.

And then he says that Joss Ackland appears unbilled. Yeah. That's crazy, right? How many movies does that happen? Just this one. And it's a Christmas movie and there are ten names.

How many names do you think you can get it in? Six. Kate Oates McCucci. And we come around here to Chris Hardwick. Was that 94? Oh no, that was 80s. Oates, McCucci. And we come around here to Chris Hardwick. Shit, I think I know what... I think... Was that 94?

Oh... No, that was 80s. Fuck. Okay, there goes... Jimmy Pardo, everybody. That's like at poker tournaments when you get knocked out, you don't even want to stick around

to see who wins the thing. You're just mad all right I know the actor Joss Ackland I know who may know who he is I don't know him do any of us really know him I I guess I'll try it in five. All right. On to Patton. Oh, God damn it. Name that movie. Okay, you get five names, Chris. I have no idea. Two and a half stars.

Pretty good. Joss Acklin. And you get how many? Five. I have no idea. Two and a half stars. Pretty good. Joss Acklin. And you get how many? Five? Five. Fifteen. Five. William Wyndham.

Simon Jones. Jane Leaves. James Remar. And J.T. Walsh. The great late J.T. Walsh. The great and late J.T. Walsh? He's both. More great than late.

I like... I like... No, he great than late I like I like No he's late I like when he drags That chair across the room At the beginning of Sling Blade This was a Christmas movie With Joss Acklin

And JT Walsh Scott Aukerman knows it Scott Aukerman knows it Christmas movie 94 Pretty good I know it. I'll just look it up.

Oh yeah. Paul, why don't you just look it up on your phone? I haven't had my phone this whole time. I'm so stupid. I'm sorry. You can skip Wyndham and Simon Jones. Jane Leaves. From Frasier.

James Remar from 48 Hours. Yep. Reaching back. He's on Dexter right now. Yeah, but I think he reprised his character for this movie. He's Dexter's dead dad or whatever. Still a character. Okay.

No, but I mean, I don't know. He played the rich man that Samantha was fucking. Quit stalling. Yeah, he did. That's correct James Green We found his weakness This will slow him down Are you wearing a Manolo Blahnik's?

Go! Who originally played Father Mulcahy on MASH? William Christopher Yeah in the movie Rene Ar Christopher. Yeah, in the movie. Rene Aubergine was in the movie, and William Christopher was in the TV series. But they were the third actor before William Christopher. What?

I have so much extra time. I think he was in from day one, in my opinion. Honestly, James Remar. A Christmas movie. A Christmas movie. Yeah, if it's not in your brain yet, it's not going to be, I don't think. James Remar's Christmas movie. Starring John Wyndham. James Remar's Christmas movie. Yeah, if it's not in your brain yet, it's not going to be, I don't think. It's James Remar's Christmas movie.

Starring John Windham. James Remar's Christmas movie. The John Windham-Simon Jones Express. Keep saying it over and over. So thank you for playing Christmas. Alright, I don't know. What is it? It's called Miracle on 34th Street. Oh, who's heard of that?

The remake of it. The shitty remake. Boo. Hey, don't talk that way. Alright, thank you heard of that? The remake of it. The shitty remake. Boo! Don't talk that way. Alright, thank you! I am so sorry! I have been exterminated! Thank you, Chris Hardwick, for your awesome theme song. Oh, thank you.

Good gameplay. Why don't we just take the Molina out of it The Molina mic Just take that out of the mix You only need a couple at a time I have hand sanitizer I said thank you Chris Oh thank you very much Doug Benson

I said thank you Get out What did you contribute to the bag What I contributed to the bag was my Oh that's right Yeah I contributed my crew t-shirt from the Benson interruption. Yeah, you got a shirt for doing the Benson interruption. It was a size large. It didn't fit.

It's too large. So I brought it to you guys. So he put it in the bag. It was a size too large. The Benson interruption shirt. Oh, let me have some of that. Let me have some of that. That was Pardo's.

Dude, dude, dude. Come on. Don't fucking Bogart that shit. Oh, yeah. Bye, Chris. We love you. For the listener, Chris's departure was unceremoniously interrupted by a passing round of Purell.

And I love rubbing the Purell on the hands because it looks like we're all hatching a plot. Hard win. Okay. Where are we at? Me. What?

Me. Oh, it's me. Andy. Okay, so... Were there any categories you like from what you've heard tonight? Let me add one more. Okay.

It's Andy Dick's birthday. So, yeah. it's a crazy day for birthdays. And there's a couple more pretty famous people. Is it sober Andy Dick or drunk Andy Dick's birthday? I don't know which one. I don't have a line to his ankle bracelet.

Scott? So is it Andy Dick movies is the category? Oh, no, that's an additional category. But were there any categories you wanted to play? No, anything. What do you got? Dealer's choice. Do you have Christmas movies? Yeah, I'll do that.

Let's do Christmas movies. It's been narrowed down considerably to 1947 or 2003. I'll go 47. Three and a half stars from Leonard. Delightful. He does it this time. You're wonderful

watching this movie. Oh, you know what? Delightful is in there. He just doesn't start with it. He fucking gets it in there. What a life he must have, just filled with delight. Movies are delightful. They really are, Doug. And he also says that it's...

It has an amusing bit by a young actor who became more known later. Terrible clue. As they all are. 47, Christmas movie. Scott, you get... When Steve McQueen did the shit dance? He was like 16 in this. It was really funny.

You get eight names, and I'm pretty sure there wasn't a shit dance in this movie. Pretty sure. Yeah'm pretty sure there wasn't a shit dance in this movie. Pretty sure. Yeah, pretty sure. Well, Doug, um... Is that that competing Sundance Festival that you started? Shit dance? Alright, go, Scott. Doug, I believe I can get that in eight names.

Well, didn't I say seven? You said eight. Okay. I thought you were tricking me. Eight names. Graham Elwood. Uh, I will go seven. Paul F. Graham Elwood. I will go seven. Paul F. Tompkins. I'll go six. Ricky Lindholm.

Five. Kate McEuchie. Jesus. You can totally come back around. Name that movie. Okay, Ricky has to get it girl on girl crime Jerome it's like the Civil War with ladies Jerome Cowan William Frawley

Porter Hall Natalie Wood and Jean Lockhart miracle on 34 that's correct I put them both in. Sorry, Kate. Thank you for playing. What did you put in the bag? I took a painting off my wall. Aww. How was your day?

It says, how was your day? And it's the person looking at a fish in a bowl. It's adorable. And there's Garfunkel and Oates stuff in there, too. Oh, and also some Garfunkel and Oates stuff. But the main thing is she took a painting off of her own wall. There's an

I heart love Garfunkel and Oates shirt, which I love. Okay, where are we at? What's happening? This is exciting. It's Patton, I think. Oh my god. So we're on Patton now? Keep that one in the front row. Okay, Patton. Would you like Harry Potter

villains, big cast movies, or Phoenix family movies? Big cast movies? I'd say Harry Potter villains. Okay, these are someone who played a villain in Harry Potter. Also known as Old Drunk Brits. Yes. They were in

this person, their persons were in other movies, and they are from 1994, 2005, or 2008? 2008. Three stars from Leonard. He's wrong. Deserves more. He says it's delightless. No, he says

the actors are at the top of their game and it has an exceptional score. Yet it only gets three stars. Okay, Leonard. Eight names. How many names do you think you can get in? It's got a Harry Potter

Villain in it I'll do it in six Scott Aukerman I'll do it in five Grab Elwood Four You bunch of pussies Four. You bunch of pussies.

Name that movie. Either Paula Tompkins or Graham Elwood is leaving after this answer. I like those monkey things. Jack in the Box? No, the monkey thing. Joko Ivek. You gonna take that? That's how Doug

quiets people down. Jordan Prentiss. The Jordan Prentiss. Thekla? I think it's pronounced Thekla. Ruben. Thekla Ruben. And and Jeremy Rennie. I think it's pronounced Ruben. Ruben. And Jeremy

Renier. I'm telling you, there's accents over both E's in Jeremy. Jeremy. Those are your four names. You want the clues again? Yeah, I'm going to need these clues. Three stars. undelightful

great score actors at the top of their game a villain from Harry Potter one of the Harry Potter's villains yeah Graham couldn't even name who plays plays the Harry Potter villains? Name some of them. Limey McGillicuddy. Old Brit Magoo. Graham doesn't see the Harry Potter movies because he thinks they're for children. And Michael Gambon? Does anyone know him?

Alan Rickman's a bad guy. Sometimes. Oh, yeah. Do you have a guess? Because we've got to move this along. Yes, I do. What's your guess? It is Le Cage a Fall.

Graham Elwood, everybody. The greatest movie Graham can think of. The rest of the actors in this are Clémence Posey, Ralph Fiennes, Ralph Fiennes, if you will, Brandon Gleeson, and Colin Farrell. And Bruce. That's good. Yeah, he's mad because he loved that movie.

Good. Alright, I, uh... Alright, loud. I'm fucking loudy loud. Thank you, Hans. You're very valiant German. There you go. I'm gonna fucking loudy loud. Thank you, Hans. You're a very valiant German. There you go. I'm going to fight the Molina virus. Thanks for playing, Graham. Everybody listen to Comedy Film Nerds. Thank you.

My CD's in there. Comedians gotta boo-boo. It's in there. Unless it fell out. Okay, where are we at? He's cursed by the Molina phone. Ricky said, who said name it? Oh, we start with Ricky. I said name it Oh we start with Ricky I said name it Okay so

Let's start with Ricky Would you like In theaters now Big cast movies Or No one's biting on Some of these Sam Jackson

Which one What about those Best worst movies Okay Okay I like those Anything that moves it along I'm happy to do

Okay would you like one From 80 82 Or 95 82 okay these are the best best bad movies according to readers of you Leonard Maltin calls this movie a bomb so he didn't think he doesn't think the best part of best bad movies. It's debumful. It was.

Sorry, yeah. He calls it mindless. And he calls the leads uncharismatic. And there are ten names. And it's one of the best bad movies. And there are ten names. And it's one of the best bad movies. And it's from 1982. How many names do you think you can get in, Ricky? Nine.

Five. Okay, Patton says five. Big leap. Name it. Scott says name it. Or ribbit. I'm not sure which one. Ribbit. Oh, shit. Scott got not sure which one. Ribbit. Oh, shit. Scott got turned into a frog. It's that character Scott does.

Challenge frog. So, how many do you have to do? Five? Okay. Do you want the clues again? It's horrid. Mindless. And the actors are Kuzmae. And you get five names, and they are Connie Stevens, Tab Hunter, Dodie Goodman, Sid Caesar, mindless and the actors are because man and you get five names and they are connie stevens tab hunter dodie goodman sid caesar and eve arden what is the name of the movie

batman's wall 82 scott could have gotten in four names the names yeah uh connie stevens tab hunter Connie Stevens, Tab Hunter, Dodie Goodman, Sid Caesar, Eve Arden. And it's from 1982. And it's a bomb. And it's mindless. And somebody in the audience has a walkie-talkie. They're getting the answers from outside the building. Damn it. Wait a second.

Hang on a second. I'm on IMDb. Could we not have come up with a better name than walkie-talkie? It's a little simplistic. It doesn't sound very military. What are you doing when you use it? I'm telling you to bring your shooty sticks.

Okay, so you're talking, but are you occasionally walking while you occasionally walking? I'm doing a walkie, and I'm doing a little bit of a talkie. Get your shootie sticks. We're going to go after those opposite clothes guys. Killed and not dressed like us. You got an idea, Patton? Did he say the two leads are horrible, or they're all bad?

They're all uncharismatic. I mean, obviously he wouldn't say that about Sid Caesar. Is Sgt. Pepper's only Harz Club band? That is a very good guess. May I guess it? But Paul has another guess. Is it Grease 2? That is correct. Damn it! Shit! Thank you for playing Patton.

Thank you for bringing your book. So sorry. So sorry. I now, I want to apologize for letting Steffi down. Sorry, Steffi. Oh, Steffi. But you know what?

You kind of made up your name tag on the way. So that's what you get. That's what D.O.I. He tried as hard as you did, Steffi. You're equal now. Thank you, Patton. Back row represent!

You three have always been my favorites anyway. Aw! You're all good players, so this is exciting. God damn it. USA! This is going to be so weird to listen to. USA! Thanks for listening for this long, anyone who's still listening.

Okay. Jesus, he's's still listening. Okay. Jesus, he's a loud whistler. Who got kicked? Patton got kicked out, so we start with Scott? No, no, we start with Paul. Oh, you said name it, so we start with Paul. Alright, Paul. Would you like big cast movies? Apparently not. I don't know why that makes me laugh.

Keeper Sutherland or Andy Dick? movies? Apparently not. I don't know why that makes me laugh every time. Kiefer Sutherland or Andy Dick? I'm going to go big cast movies. Okay. I'm sorry, everybody. We got big cast movies. I want to hear a lot of Kiefer Sutherland movies. Big cast movie from 1963, 1991, or 2001?

63. Okay. Somebody's already got a line on this one, I think. Two and a half stars from Leonard. That's right, Leonard. He doesn't use the word delightful at any point. No, he does not. He calls it splashy.

That's right. Splashy. And he says bigness doesn't guarantee greatness. I'm in agreement with you, Leonard! Which was originally what Spider-Man's adopted dad said to him. And then they change it to

with great power comes great responsibility. Still talking about his penis in both instances. Yeah, in both instances. It's very dirty and inappropriate and that's why he got killed quickly. It's expanded on the instances. In both instances, it's very dirty and inappropriate, and that's why he got killed quickly. It's expanded on the musical. Oh, boy. Take your dick out, Peter.

I'm going to sing a song about it. There are... There are 16 names. There's 16 names in this big cast. Paul Tompkins, don't pretend to laugh at that to stall. 16 names. I can name that movie in zero names. Oh, here we go.

This is exciting. If he accomplishes this, he's going to go directly into the tournament of championships Name that movie And Ricky says name it Does that movie Begin with a contraction If I knew what that was Yes it does

I'm going to say It's a mad mad mad mad Mad world I'm going to need you to be more specific She said the Muppets Christmas Carol which is a Muppet Christmas Carol so I believe we're not gonna quibble about the number of mad I think she said it right when I said it'd be more specific but no she did she

still got it wrong she didn't say a Muppet Christmas Carol she said it right when I said it'd be more specific. No, she didn't. She still got it wrong? She didn't say a Muppet Christmas Carol? She said the Muppet Christmas Carol. Instead of A? Yeah. Okay. Well, just so you know, there's 17 Mads in the title. No, you guys wanted one. There's four.

I wanted you to guess all around it. It would have been fun. Okay, so congratulations, Paul of Top Kids. You're in the Tournament of Championships. Fucking finally! Finally, where he belongs. Sorry, Dana. Ricky, thank you for playing and bringing Garfunkel and Oates memorabilia.

There's a Garfunkel and Oates CD and an I Love Heart Garfunkel and Oates T-shirt from me. Yay! Thank you, Ricky. Happy holidays. See you next year. Back row versus front row. That's right. It's come to this, Scott.

You guys have been so proud of your rows this whole time. These rows have been destined to clash, Doug. All right, so how do you want to pick the winner?

Well, I think it's heads up. Can I choose a category? Well, I think it's heads up. Can I do Sam Jackson? I think Paul gets to weigh in on this. I accept your terms. Okay. Okay. So we say Pistols at Dawn?

This is for my back row brothers Sam Jackson movies I'll find it It's in here I know it is There it is People sitting behind me Don't lip read the answers

I mean You know what I meant A Sam Jackson movie In which he appeared From 1990 96 Or 97 96 96 I like your style Sam Jackson movie in which he appeared from 1990, 96, or 97? 96.

I like your style. Two and a half stars. Delightful? I'd go higher than Leonard, personally. I'm going to factor that in. I like it. He says about it wow these are all

everything he says gives it away okay this is the finals if you find a kitchen sink it's the one the screenwriter forgot to throw

into this movie and he also says that the movie changes tone it's two and a half stars and there are eleven names Doug, Scott I can name this movie in negative two names we might have a double

inclusion into the tournament of championships Paul F. Tompkins though is prepared to think about this We might have a double inclusion into the Tournament of Championships. Paul F. Tompkins, though, is prepared to think about this. 1996? If you say so. I'm the worst host. I'm the worst host. 1996.

Kitchen sink I'm going to Ask you to name that movie And negative two names So first what's the name of the movie? Scott Aukerman? I think. I believe it is The Long Kiss Goodnight. That is correct.

And what are the top two names in order of billing? Wait, I can name it now. First. Gina Davis. Samuel L. Jackson. That's correct. Well done, both of you gentlemen. That's the best way to end it.

You're both in the tournament championships. Roxanne! You brought a copy of Roxanne. Roxanne is who you're playing for. Congratulations to Roxanne. Thank you, Paul. Thank you, Scott. Thank you. Where. Thank you, Scott. Thank you.

Where does this go? Could you deliver this to the winner? That is a bag full of stuff. Oh, and my CD, Hypocritical Oaf, is in there. Yeah, that's in there, too. And that was a very exciting ending. I like that. What's great about the end is we get to both be out here on stage. Neither of us really got eliminated.

It's like Survivor. That's right. Exactly. You didn't snuff our torches out. No, because it's the finale. Everybody's excited for both of you.

You both made it this far. That's really what matters. I also think we've gone as far as we can in this game. I also think that historically Scott and I are the people that have taken it

the hardest. We are the biggest losers. We are the biggest, the sorest losers of the London Ball. We have talked about how sore of losers we are. I'm the same way. Every week for three months. Every time I'm on a game show situation,

even if it's just amongst friends, when missing something that you should have got is so aggravating, or in this game it's aggravating when the timing doesn't work out. Yeah, and there's like a dumb person who just says, name that movie. That's all they do. And then they're in a fucking tournament.

I gotta let it go. All right, thank you so much for everybody that came tonight. I can't remember all their names. Sarah Silverman, Josh Molina, Kevin Pollock, Kate Micucciucci Ricky Lindholm Patton Oswalt Graham Elwood Chris Hardwick, Mike Furman

Paul Tompkins and Scott Aukerman I was visualizing everyone where they were sitting and I remembered them all and thank you for listening to the podcast you know all however long you've been listening to it and I hope you join us again next year. And as always,

everyone is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.