Doug Loves Movies - Tig Notaro, Garfunkel and Oates, and Samm Levine Guest

Episode Date: October 11, 2013

From the Bentzen Ball in Washington DC, Doug welcomes Tig Notaro, Garfunkel and Oates, and Samm Levine to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Hey everybody Alright, are you ready? My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. I think that's the best one so far.

Now, a small amount of Kool-Aid is going to be passed out to each and every one of you. Please drink it. We're coming to you from the Sphynx Club. Yeah, during the Benson Ball Comedy Festival in our nation's capital, Washington, District of Columbia. in our nation's capital, Washington, District of Columbia. On Friday, October 11th, to Oceans 13, day 11 of the... Did I get the date wrong?

Okay. Day 11 of the government shutdown. I think you're booing the government. Boo! Don't mention it! We don't need to hear about it. We live here. We have to

drive in circles all day. But I'd like to see your name tags DC! Oh Lord, that is, what a delightful array of

Hedwig and Angry Finch. Your last name is Finch? Nicely done. American Marcus instead of American History X? All right, don't curb stomp anybody, buddy. Laura, the classic old movie.

You didn't have to do shit to that one, Laura. Good job, Laura. Is that a horseshoe or a toilet seat back there? What is that thing? You had to look at it yourself. Yeah, what was this thing that I made? Natural born

killer? Miller. That's not your first name, is it? No. Shout out to TJ Miller. Mike just has a piece of paper that says Mike on it. That's pretty sweet

You could have brought one of these Help that up Mike There's some sort of What's that animal creature dinosaur thing It's a dinosaur He made the mouth move when he was talking Because you never know

I might think you know what I'm going to talk to this dinosaur for a little bit about what he is. Well, thank you guys for bringing all the name tags. Oh, there's a flashing one back there that I think used to say Camel Cigarettes and now it says Casey.

I'm guessing. But you'll whip those out a little later in the show. And I got some things I want to read to y'all. Sunday, Ashburn, Virginia. How far is that from here? Like 40 minutes? Far?

It's 40 minutes away? It's an hour! An hour! You sit in traffic for more than an hour every day just driving around town. So why not go all the way out to Ashburn? I'm doing a good job of selling this. I'm sure each and every one of you is going to buy a ticket

as soon as this is over. But I'm doing a Benson movie interruption at the Alamo Drafthouse of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the 2003 version. A chainsaw-wielding maniac chasing Jessica Beale. Come on! Let's sell some tickets!

It's not doing very well. You know what I realized, though? It's on opposite the season premiere of Walking Dead, so that's a bad time for... Yeah. I didn't time that very well. What are you going to do? Have you guys watched Getting Doug with High yet?

Yay! Every Wednesday, 4.15, PST, youtube.com slash Doug Benson. Tune in and get Doug. And now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. At Privileged Skin tweeted, Sandra Bullock in space sounds like Lamaze.

This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about gravity. Let's look in the prize bag, you guys. Yeah. We're not messing around. There's a lot of good stuff. You got a ball from Kenny Powers. New season of Eastbound and Down. You got Little Miss Sunshine DVD for some reason.

An ELO CD. Yeah, I like those guys. Don't hold Xanadu against them. A copy of Poplar of Mechanics. Some people just grab shit that's laying around like it was on the plane flying in. Like a copy of my album Gateway, Doug. And thanks.

And this was a... They give you a bunch of stuff when you perform at a festival like the Benson Ball. And one of the things they gave me is these eggs. They say, easy beat eggs. I have no idea what's going on with them. I don't want to learn. Another thing they gave in the same packet was two packets of liquid personal lubricant.

packet was two packets of liquid personal lubricant. So yeah, so I put that in the prize bag because I like to pay it forward you guys. Also a water bag that says Insidious Chapter 2 on it. And I...

Dear Insidious, you're a movie, not a book. And lots of museum passes and stuff here in town that I'm not going to take advantage of because I really like sitting in my hotel room all day because it's got HBO. I'll watch Prometheus again. I'll get mad all over again. A t-shirt that they gave us. It's a microphone with ice cream on it for some reason.

Yeah, I don't get it. You're not supposed to. It's a crazy festival. And then did you guys hear Dining with Doug and Karen from the L.A. Podcast Festival? That guy, the chef that was there that day, one of them, Andy Windack, gave me two socks, one that says bacon and one that says weed on it.

And, yeah, and they're different colors, so they don't match. They're even different sizes. But as you'll now see, as I'm going to show all of you, I have the other pair because I split them up because that's how they should be worn. Can you imagine if you got into an accident and they brought you into the emergency room?

The people there would laugh so hard and have something to talk... Their jobs are hard, you guys. Give them the story of the guy, like, his, you know, his legs were severed from his body, but his socks said weed and bacon. Don't fall. I mean, I'm doing pretty good,

but I don't think I'm going to topple over. And also, there's a poster that has some amazing artwork on it. So it's a terrific prize bag for a really nice-sized crowd that came out for my shenanigans. So please, oh, and it's Wind Attack on Twitter. Andy Windack gave me those socks, and someone in this audience a pair of those socks. Please welcome four of the greatest Leonard Maltin game players of all time, Kate Micucci, Ricky Lindholm, Sam Levine,

and Take Notaro! Thank you. Wow. That's proud. You're all one chair too close. You're supposed to be... There's one on the other end for... This is actually... This is my chair.

I thought you were on the red stool, Doug. This is my chair. Like, regardless of where you are. Tig can sit wherever she wants. This is her ball, and she could... That's true. She could go home with it if she wants to. Fine with that.

That was my fault. I got too excited. That's so funny. Yeah, the stool's sort of my table. It's not really my seat. And then there's chairs. There's a lot going on up here. Because I don't know why, but they set up a nice table for the closest audience members ever

to Douglas movies. And I was going to give those seats away to like... This kid will sit there. That's good to have a fucking kid right here. There you go. Sit down. And did you come here alone? Well, your mom has to sit up here too.

Yeah, get up here. Take ownership of the corruption of the child. And who's that creep that's trying to move in on your father's territory? That's who? Scott Nato? Is that like Shark Nato? From Atlanta. Am I really supposed to know what that means? But are you friends with these two?

He's a good friend of the family. As of the last 15 minutes? Mom! Slow down. Be a role model. All right, well, what's his name again? Scott Nato? Scott Nato, come sit up here as well.

Yeah. I don't like the idea of you being all alone when you just made a love connection, although good luck with the kids sitting between you. I'm willing to give up my seat. It's not going to work out. Tignotaro is here, everybody.

I was willing to give up my seat to go sit at that table. No, you're one of the participants. You're a panelist. Alright. Don't forget, you scored a point one time in the Leonard Maltin game. Yeah. You were not panelist. All right. Yeah. Don't forget, you scored a point one time

in the Leonard Maltin game. Yeah. You were not completely worthless. You're sitting between some of the best players in the history of the game, so I really think you could be a tremendous spoiler tonight. I'm really excited for the possibilities. If you walk away with this thing,

I think you could be our next president. Because people will be so excited. Thank you. Please be seated. You were gracious enough to sign the poster that represents the Benson Ball. And then one of our other guests here, let's hear it for Kate McCucci, everybody. one of our other guests here.

Let's hear it for Kate McCucci, everybody. She proceeded to Kate McCucci it up and went to town on it and drew all over it, and it's a great new poster in and of itself. It's like a remix of the original poster. I circled Garfunkel and Oates on it. Yeah, you did circle yourself. Whoa, those seats that we just emptied just filled right in.

Wow. And thank God it's with people who like to scream. You want to get them as close as possible. There's not enough screaming. Although this Benson Ball poster has a horror movie theme to it. There's little ghosts. Although this Benson Ball poster has a horror movie theme to it. There's little ghosts.

It's the resurrection because the festival was like in, I don't even, 09? And then we brought it back. It's like the Olympics. So it's just this weekend is just like the Olympics. Yeah. All right. We'll see you guys in 2017. Right? we'll see you guys in 2017 right um

is that four years from now and uh Ricky Lindholm is also here the other half the taller half of I like to call him I've been having fun calling you Oats and Garfunkel

yeah I get one more step removed from the original joke. You guys have a new TV program for the IFC network? Next summer. Very exciting. Hey mom, I see you were fingering

some of the prizes. What's up with that? Do you approve of the items? Okay, keep in mind you're not mic'd. So when I go to you, short answers only. This kid is so excited. How old are you? 14, you guys.

Fucking 14. Listening for three years this goddamn motherfucker was 11 when he first listened to this shit that's so cute you gotta love podcasting and bad parenting. You did not know what you were getting yourself into.

Again, another example of why you probably should not be in charge of a child. No idea this was going to happen. But thank you for bringing him, and I appreciate his enthusiasm, and you know that I would never... Okay, so... I couldn't even... I didn't know what else was I going to say. I'm going to do my show the way I do it.

I don't care that... I don't care that I don't care that I feel extremely guilty about what I'm doing right now. Three years you've been listening. Who's your favorite? Who do you think will win Leonard Maltin game tonight on this panel? Little Wolverine.

You could have been listening for like three or four weeks and have figured that out. You know what we have on our hands, Lil' Wolverine? What's that, Doug? Lil' Lil' Wolverine. Yeah, we do. That we do. We got ourselves Lil' Wolverine Jr.

Yeah. Do you think you'd be good at the Leonard Maltin game? He's not sure. I like that. That's the kind of answer you'd give. Yeah. Lying through your teeth. We'll see.

We'll see how it goes. Negative four. So, yeah. So the poster's going to go in the prize bag, and like I said, there's some cool things that they gave us to go see and do while we're here in D.C., and I'm really enjoying my hotel room and not being rained on.

So that's, like, sort of my thing. Sam Levine did I introduce you yet? Sure, close enough Oh thank you Sam the ma'am aka Lil Wolverine I've got a couple ideas for you Kate

and what is it Ricky? Yeah it's Ricky couple ideas for you, Kate, and, uh, what is it, Ricky? Yeah, it's Ricky. Couple ideas for you guys for your new IFC show, because you play yourselves in the show, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think you need, like,

a neighborhood know-it-all played by Sam Levine. That sounds good. Always in your business, always knows, you know, always tells you what you should do, you do something else. He was right, and he's super fucking smug about it. Oh, the worst! That sounds good. Always in your business, always tells you what you should do. You do something else.

He was right, and he's super fucking smug about it. Oh, the worst. What would you play? I'm your pot dealer, and every episode you're just waiting for me, and I never show up. But you mention me enough that you feel like you should pay me just for being sort of on the show. So you're like Poochie? Everyone should be asking

where's Doug? What do you think was Tig gonna play? What's Tig gonna play? Tig is gonna play, she's gonna wear an ampersand costume and stand in between you every time you perform. Well, you're our godfather.

Yeah, I did introduce the Garfunkel notes to each other at a Benson interruption, I think it was, in the early days of that. Did the 14-year-old just give us a sympathetic awe? Grow up. This is the best.

This is a fantastic go-to. I always have to ask, have you been to the movies lately? Kate McEwchie, you started off. Well, I will answer for Ricky and I. What did we see? One, two, three. Gravity.

Oh. Gravity. Did you guys, you should write us, like what should be, because the closing theme music is just music, there's no lyrics you should write a song that's like what should play over the closing credits of Gravity What?

Can it be called that? Alright, spoiler alert Wow Ricky Lindholm Thanks a lot, Ricky Yeah, but you don't know how I didn't ruin it that much Sorry

Now I'm for sure not going Do you want to bleep that? We were just telling Tig that she has to see it No way not now There needs to be a producer spoiler Should we bleep that? Do you guys think that's a pretty bad spoiler? Yes.

It is funny, but it'd still be funny if it gets bleeped, I think. We saw The Blind Side on a plane. Just that somebody would say, you did what to who? You saw... The Blind Side on a Plane, another Bullock movie. Right, but that was a long time ago. That was a long time ago. Right, but I don't want to do any spoilers,

so I feel like people know how it ends. Like touchdown stuff. Right, the... Touchdown in space. The black kid gets stung by a bee and dies, right? Right. What have you seen recently, Ricky? Other than Gravity. Oh, I guess Gravity was your answer.

I saw Husbands and Wives last night. I watched it again. The Woody Allen film? Yeah, but that's an old one, too. It's a good one. Yeah, it's really good. Really bouncy camera work there, but good stuff in there. I liked it, but no other Bullock movies lately. I love Sandra Bullock so much. If I ever...

I one time saw her driving, and it made my day. I was just like, there's Sandra Bullock! I feel like she's one person I wouldn't be able to handle meeting. I would just be like, hi, my name is Kate. Well, guess who's here tonight? Kate.

Come on out. She's shy. She came all this way to surprise Kate and now she's recalcitrant. I think she's from Arlington, Virginia, isn't she? Yeah, we know. Oh, shit. She's all about Austin,

Texas now, though. Yeah. That's her jam. Yeah. But, yeah, I've always been very fond of her, but not of her films. So, one-two punch of the heat and gravity, I'm like, okay, now we're talking. Now you're doing the kinds of movies I would like to see. But you love While You Were Sleeping, right?

That's Kate's favorite movie. I've heard a lot about it. What? While You Were Sleeping is Kate's favorite movie of all time. For real? I love it. That and Boogie Nights. All right.

Wait a minute. She doesn't see the flaw in that plot. There's a flaw in the plot of Boogie Nights? No, of While You Were Sleeping. What's the flaw in the plot of Boogie Nights? No, of while you were sleeping. What's the flaw? Well, spoiler alert. Yeah,

don't say too much about that movie from 17 years ago. A guy in a coma that she pretends to be dating who she's never met and then she fucks

his brother. That's what happens and Kate's like, aw. Why is that a, did you call that a plot hole? Or what did you say was wrong with it? I feel like it's less romantic than she remembers it.

Wait, so is that what happened while they were sleeping? Yeah. While he was sleeping, she fucked his brother. That's what happened. But you can't put that in the title. No, you can't. But she was never with him. So it wasn't like she was cheating on him.

She was just pretending to be with him. Right, but the brother doesn't know that. He's a bastard. I think Kate just likes the notion of that for a woman to get a man, you have to be crafty. And work as a token collector. When you work as a...

So with what you're doing, you have the wrong job for finding someone who just got knocked into a coma. You need a far more menial job, Kate. By the way, when you're a token collector, when you work as a token collector, are you paid by what you collect? Tig, you still got it. My apologies for that joke What if you were the one black guy

That worked at the token collector Office So Sam brought For your consideration Copy of Little Miss Sunshine He wrote on it It's illegal for me to give you this So thanks for helping me break the law For your consideration, copy of Little Miss Sunshine, he wrote on it, it's illegal for me to give you this, so thanks for helping me break the law.

Yeah, stick it to the man! Sam puts a little message on every gift. He brought a copy of Blade Runner, and he said, please enjoy Doug's finest moment. It says, your finest work in Blade Runner. Finest work, finest work. Get those pause button fingers ready, ladies and gentlemen.

You will spot a nine-year-old Doug Benson. You still won't be able to find me. You brought a copy of Popular Mechanics and you wrote, I read this cover to cover on October 10th, 2013. The best issue of Popular Mechanics I've ever read. You're welcome. I love this. Oh, you did sign it.

I thought you didn't sign it. That would be good to just write that on there. I read this. Now I know. What did you write on the ELO? The Electric Load Orchestra is my third favorite band. It's alright.

The other two are pretty great. Pink Floyd. Yeah. Good answer. He really has a list you guys What's number eight? I couldn't tell you I thought I could stump you

Tell us Is it A-ha? They're number seven They're number seven Yeah where's G&O come in on your list? Oates and Garfunkel Number one baby I's G&O come in on your list? Oates and Garfunkel. Number one, baby. I like G&O.

I like ELO. I like CCR. CCR. G&O. G&R. GWAR. Yeah. Have you been to the movies lately, Sam? I have. I also saw Gravity. What happens in it? You know,

it was floating around space and stuff. I will say this, and I tweeted this, it is ridiculous that they did not shoot that movie in outer space. Seriously. It's ridiculous how good it looks. Better than Star Wars?

The problem for me with Star Wars? The problem for me with Star Wars is that... This will be interesting to hear. Problem for me there is that there's no way that Jabba the Hutt would ever get strangled to death by Leia

with the gold chains. I mean, clearly... You know, but sometimes strangulation is kind of a mathematics game, Sam. And if you get the right angle and you apply the right amount of pressure, you could get it done. I mean, that was a giant slug after all.

His neck musculature really wasn't that... When did he ever work out his neck? So he was probably pretty flabby in that area. This is a long sentence. And she could just get right in there. She could just get right in there. Okay, so... I also watched a Marx Brothers movie two nights ago.

Oh, how a Marx Brothers movie got in your pajamas, we'll never know. It was that same movie. It was Animal Crackers. Oh, nice. Yeah. Nice pull. Nicely done. Why were you watching that?

Like you couldn't sleep or something? No, I had a hankering to watch a Marx Brothers movie, and I picked that one. It was that simple. Out of your collection? Yes, out of my... Oh, Sam, you're so sophisticated. Well, you know, that is the mark. The ladies must love it when you

show them your Marx Brothers collection. The keepers do. Yeah, you suspect! I don't know what just happened. Tig. Tig. Tig. Tig.

Have we talked at all about this festival and why you started it? No. Yeah, not in this show or personally. I mean, you've said to me, do you want to do this festival? And I say, sure, of course I want to do it. But why the name? me, do you want to do this festival? And I say, sure, of course I want to do it. But why the name? Because the name Benson Ball, you know,

of course confuses me and all of my fans. Because of the word ball? Yes. As you know, pot smokers are very much associated with balls. Some call them hacky sacks. But why, what's the name, where does the name come from, and who does the festival represent?

No idea. No, I, um... The name comes from... There was a guy named Ola Benson, and he had a heart attack and died while laughing at a fish called Wanda. Do you think he was laughing at it or with it? I don't know, but he died. And we figured we'd name a comedy festival after somebody that died laughing. And so it is the Benson Ball.

that died laughing. And so it is the Benson Ball. And so the goal tonight is we're not going to, this show is going to go on until one of you dies. So good luck, everybody. But yeah, I had done the DC Comedy Festival in 2008, and then in 2009, I was inquiring to see if the festival was going to be back, and it was not.

And I had just done another festival that treated me horribly. And so I thought, oh, how about I'll put together a festival. Was that other one Horrible Fest? Because they pretty much laid out there from day one. I didn't read the title. Yeah, I can't believe you were surprised by that. I can't believe the way I was treated by Horrible Fest. But yeah, I partnered with Brightest Young Things,

and so I just thought D.C. was a cool city, and that is how the Benson Ball began. So keep coming back, and the festival will keep coming back. Love, Tig. And what was the last movie that you saw? I actually... Here we go. You actually... Well, I went to a movie theater

Whoa, slow down This is one step at a time I'm realizing Not everyone else started their Information with, well I went to a movie theater But I did I went to a movie theater and I saw The Family

Is that the name? Yes, Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer It was so bad The Girl from Glee theater and I saw The Family. Is that the name? Yes. Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer. It was so bad. The girl from Glee. That we walked out and I couldn't not even deal with it. The person that you went with agreed

with you that it was bad enough to walk out on? Yes, the person that I went with. The individual? The human that was alive sitting next to me. Was she like, let's go see Gravity instead. I won't tell you how it ends.

Yeah, it was my girlfriend, Doug. And we went and we saw... You have a girlfriend named Doug? You still got it. I think they're laughing at how I don't have it, but I'll take it either way. Yeah, I was just astounded by how bad it was.

And I was just like, I don't understand what's happening. But why did you and your girlfriend pick the family? She picked it. Sure. And she likes movies. She sees about a movie a day. So that was that day's movie. You just got roped in.

We walked out, but then I was on the road for three days before D.C. and I got Netflix and I decided to try and watch Forks Over Knives, the documentary,

I fell asleep. And it took me three days to watch it. And I still am not all the way through it. So those are the movies. But are you past Forks and into Knives? Yeah, it's... I haven't fully seen a movie lately. I walked out of the family

and I fell asleep during Forks. But I fall asleep whenever I watch a movie past noon or so. 10 a.m. movies for you? Yes. What was the one you said you slept in? Slept in? You fell asleep?

Forks over knives. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. I thought you said another one, but you said forks over knives so quickly, I thought it was one word. Forks over knives. I thought you'd also fallen asleep. Forks.

Forks life. Over. A fork's life. Knives. New, the latest from Pixar. A fork's life. Knives Lives. New, the latest from Pixar, A Fork's Life. Knives Lives. I'm sorry.

Really quickly, panel, I have to ask, which ones of you are willing to come on getting dug with high and smoke weed with me? Raise your hand. Ricky will do it. I'll do it, yeah. That's it, yeah. That's it. Okay.

I'm surprised I got one of you, so that's quite an achievement. I thought you asked the audience. I thought, well, that's barely anyone has responded. I thought that was very shocking. Yeah, yeah. I should get a few more hands if I said who wants to get high with me.

Who in the audience would want to get high with me? Who in the audience would want to get high with Doug? It's weird that two people are being that loud. It's embarrassing. I thought it would be I feel like the bride and the groom, they're on both sides of the aisle.

Let's play some games. Let's get the games going. Let the games begin. I was born in a shutdown government. Do you think babies are going to tell that story? Ladies, ladies, and Sam the man.

There it is. Please pick your name tags. Just go out in the audience and grab whichever one you want to play for, and we'll be right back. And we're back. Who are you playing for, Kate? Lauren of Arabia who brought cupcakes.

Lauren of Arabia cupcakes. And Ricky, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Scott Nato because he took a Hell Baby poster and turned it into Hello Baby, My Name is Scott. Let's see it. Push it over this way.

There you go. Oh, that's nice. All right, Tig, who are you playing for? Finch. Hedwig and the Angry Finch. Yeah, let's get a good shot of that poster, Tig. But my face is a bracelet, so that's how I make decisions. It's a facelift? I don't get it.

And Sam, who are you playing for? Playing for Groundhog Dave. Groundhog Dave! I like what he did there. And I also grabbed way too many things. I've grabbed his tickets to other shows as well, so... Really should have held on to these closer Dave And Kate's is cupcakes

Can we eat them now? They're edible can we? You have to wait another five minutes I would love That's weird I would love to I would love to have some right now If I can have a cupcake right now

Can you whip one out for me? I'm finishing my vine, but... What's today? 10 what? The 11th? Never forget. Okay, that's good enough. I want to try one of those cupcakes It smells really good I was taught

how to eat a cupcake You know how? I know a friend of the festival likes to eat them with a knife and fork but how did you You cut it in half Oh, Kate's giving the kid a cupcake. Hey guys, little Wolverine has to eat.

All right, well. And he's so polite, he asked the owner of the cupcakes if he could have one. I've got two things to say. First of all, these are laced. And second of all, we've got protective custody here to take you into a safe home and away from this horrible, horrible woman. Horrible. These don't have anything in them, right?

He's already eaten half of one, so... God, I hope not. Don't you want to know how to eat a cupcake? Oh, yes, please. You cut it right here. Uh-huh. And then you take the bottom part and put it over that and make a sandwich. And then, you know how when you eat a cupcake, it's sometimes not so fun?

Because there's so much frosting and then so much... Yeah, too much fun and too much no fun. Yeah. Wait, which part's the fun? You squish it together. The frosting's fun? I guess so. You have fun with the cake?

I like the cake. Cake Makuchi. So we need a knife because I'm going to do that right now. Is there a knife? Yeah, can we get a knife? Or do we only have 10,000 spoons? Can anyone bring a knife to the show?

I bet you can rip it off. You can rip the bottom. I've found ways to make references to that song like three times in the last month or so, and it never fails to crack me up. What's happening? We're waiting for a knife, and we're going to play some games.

They're getting a knife, Doug. Awesome. I said they're getting a knife, Doug. Okay, good. I mean, I'm happy that we're in a facility that doesn't have easy access to knives. I prefer forks over knives.

Thank you. I almost fell asleep. Since we've got four of our brightest guests and smartest triviologists on the panel. Yeah, four of us and you. Under those circumstances, we have to play Build a Title.

Yeah! Since we're in Washington, I think our starter title should be Harry and the Hendersons. That is really hard. I'm just kidding. I know which Washington I'm in. I think we should start with... I didn't even decide what the order was going to be,

so before I say this, let's just start with Kate and go to Ricky and then Tig and then Sam. Yeah. Ladies first. Agreed. Okay. Piece of shit. It gets...

What? Why don't I... He did nothing. He did nothing wrong. Okay, Kate, your starter title is All the President's Men. He did nothing. He did nothing wrong. Okay, Kate, your starter title is All the President's Men. So you need a movie that ends in all, or all is part of the word, of course, or something that begins with men.

Okay. You got this. Whoa. What the fuck? Jesus. Wait, fuck? Jesus. Wait, it's heavy. Don't explain to the listeners what happened. Wow.

They'll be able to figure it out. Avast ye matey. That's a jolly good cup of cake. I never know... Success! Success! Yeah. Doug, that was a bit. Oh, there's a real knife?

Yeah. Look who got it done, son! In case you want to... Thanks. Cut yours. Now I have two knives. How is it? That's not a cupcake.

That's a success sandwich. Isn't that so much better? So much better. Okay, now we need napkins. This is going to be another 15 minutes goes by. We're on it. Napkins. I think they have some in Arlington.

We have to get through all of the cupcakes. Does anybody else want a cupcake? Oh, my God. That's the last thing you hear before getting abducted. By Kate McCoochie. Yeah, that's how you get with a giant knife.

Oh, thank you, napkins. Yes, officer. I was sitting there. Pass them down, Tim. Oh, you'll take a cupcake? Okay. Oh, I like that. Napkins Cupcake Exchange. We live in a polite society. There's a little knife thing. Do you work for the podcast?

No, she's just here in her crazy pants. She's just Johnny on the spot with those napkins. Guys, I don't really think anyone works for this podcast. I'm really glad we're taking a long time because I finally have an answer to add to your title it took me a while Kate aren't you going to have a cupcake? nah

for the record I regret it it was really good but Jesus it looks like there's graham crackers on top did you bake them? yes Jesus. It looks like there's graham crackers on top. Did you bake them? Yes! Yes!

That was someone that wasn't totally planning on talking. They weren't warmed up yet. Oh! Oh! Oh! They weren't warmed up yet. I love when people clear their throats and they're like on an airplane. They're not going to have to speak, but they're like... And then, you know, but eventually when they pipe up,

you're like, okay, I get it. There was a man on our plane today and he was laughing at the television so loud. It was like he couldn't contain himself. He was watching Jimmy Fallon and just couldn't handle it. I'm sorry. Did you say television? Television on an aeroplane.

You all right, Doug? Yeah, I'm just, I needed a little water to, oh, so Purell just came in. Hand sanitizer. Purell came flying in. This is a party. Jesus. What else do you guys just randomly have on you? Ladies and gentlemen, a new kind of pirate in town.

I've got a blade and some Purell. So I will cut your hands off and then clean them up and... Have a cupcake. Your answer, Kate. All the president's men in black.

Very good. That means Ricky has to come up with a title that begins with the black. Do you normally work in security? Because you got rid of that knife like a professional. You need something that

begins with men. Or I mean black, sorry. Or ends with all. Or a word that has all in it. Scenes from a mall. The President's Men in Black. Thanks. Wait, what did you say?

Scenes from a mall? Shot at the Beverly Center. I think they shot that at the Beverly Center. Because it ends in all, so Scenes from a Mall. You know, Bette Midler and Woody Allen, it's horrible. No, it can just be in the word. Horrible movie. Scenes from a mall, the president's man

in black. So Tig needs a movie that begins with black or ends with scenes. So probably something... Can we get distracted and off track how we did with Kate? Scenes from a mall... You should have picked a food name tag.

What is your name tag again? It's a poster? Hedwig and the Angry Finch. Oh, and it's got a shithead on the back. Looks like a complicated envelope situation. I like that. I hope you lose. I'm dying to know what that shithead is.

So yeah, can you think of a... There's movies that start with the word black that have existed, so maybe you don't necessarily have to have seen it to know of a movie that starts with the word black. Or ack. I know a couple that start with

Ack. Well that's that's all you need. Just just spit it out. Do you know when that starts with black? Do you know

when that starts with black? This guy was a professional roadie. I'm not fucking around. Here's the thing. Is is it okay if

um Sam and I switch seats how we were supposed to be? This guy had an affair when he was on the road and now he's come back to make good on the fact that he had a child with this woman.

I know you've never met, but I figured it out. Roadies. I know what you do. Do you know anyone? Tig, do you have any idea? I gave you a nice stall time there with my roadie routine. You also told me that I could have help. From who?

From my girlfriend. Oh, yeah. Is your girlfriend handy? Do you know one? Could she come and help out? Oh. Okay. What is it? Black Hawk Down. Yeah! Nicely done.

I had black dynamite all queued up, ready to go. Black beauty. Sure. Okay. Sure. You show-offs. Sam.

Scenes from all the president's men in Black Hawk Down and Out in Beverly Hills. Whoa! So, Kate, is there a movie that begins with the word hills? Yeah. I know there's movies that have the word hills. I know, I know. I can think of a bunch that have, like... Oh, Hill Street Blues! That's a TV show. I can think of a bunch that have, like... Oh, Hill Street Blues.

That's a TV show. I love how excited you were to blurt out that TV show, but I hear that a movie is in the works. No, but you're on the right track. The thing I think you need to realize or think about is that the A's and the's at the beginning of titles are dropped. So a movie that begins with hills would be The Hills Are Alive

with this end of music. Alright, you're out. I shouldn't even give you a second chance. Ricky, tell her what she should have said. Hills Have Eyes. Yes. I actually knew that answer. I did.

All right, well, it's on you then. A movie that begins with eyes. Or if you want to get cute, eyes. Eyes Wide Shut. Oh, yeah! Yeah. My girlfriend watches a movie a day. She should be on this show.

So far with Black Hawk Down and Eyes Wide Shut, she's come up with some real obscure ones. Look. I'm doing really well. Yeah. Killing it. Samuel. Eyes Wide Killing it. Samuel. Eyes Wide Shutter Island.

Does your girlfriend watch a movie a day? No. Apologies to Kate McCucci for being out. It's okay, but I know one. It's National Coming Out Day, so... Is it? It's a good time to be out. Ricky.

I land of the lost. Yeah. What did you say? Land of the lost. Because he said island. Yeah, so Tig's girlfriend, you need a movie that. Lost or seen. That starts with.

Seen is hard. Starts with lost Lost in translation Yeah Yeah Now she's just sending them to you With her mind God I'm doing well

Sam what are you gonna do with that I think Tig's girlfriend is going to win this thing I think we're locked on both ends Huh? Oh wait, yeah, can I phone a friend? No Translation Oh

Translation Translation The sunshine voice? Sunshine Cleaners. Sunshine Cleaning Company. No. I think... People are like, no.

You're out? I'm out, man. He's out. Ricky? I can't think of anything. Tig is our winner. That's a freeze out. That's a freeze out.

Tig, Tig, Tig. Thank you, please be seated Thank you so much, please be seated Thank you, thank you, please be seated I'd go with scenes from All the President's Men in Blackhawk Down and Out in Beverly Hills Have Eyes Wide Shudder I Land of the Lost in Translation

Under a Cherry Moon. What? Not even, no way. There is no way you would allow that. You and Graham playing in the car, you would ask him to leave the vehicle if you tried to pull that shit. No, that's how it sounds. Shun, un. Shun. Yeah, shun, of course. Oh, there's a lot of under.

Yeah. Damn. I could probably Shun of the Dead, I would not accept. Shun of the dead. The rules are mine. But that's a fun game for people to play in the car and have those debates about and then tweet me. They tweet me, like, you know, to make the decision for them. And I am fair but firm.

So take one, Pat Yeah How are we doing on time? We got like, I think we have about 40 minutes left approximately So let's play one more quick game Before we get to the big Leonard Maltin game

This might not take too long, we'll see Sam, have you ever played the Seth Rogen game a.k.a. a.k.a. Last Man Stanton? No. Okay. This is how it works. Okay, tell me. We're gonna get from a member of the audience

a 14-year-old boy is going to tell us the name of a director, actor, or actress with a large body of work, like more than a dozen films. Yeah. And then we are going to take turns,

starting with Tig. Yeah. And then moving to Ricky, and I'm going to play in this game. Awesome. We are going to name the films that we can think of that that person was in or associated with.

I understand. Until we run out. We either run out of titles, which was what happened with the Coen brothers, or we can't think of any more, which is what happened with Harry Dean Stanton. When Harry Dean Stanton was a panelist. I see.

I see. That must have taken a long time. He did win, though. He did win. He did win. Oh, good. When Harry met... Dean Stanton.

Dean Stanton? Yeah. I'm still playing the other game. Classic rom-com. He has two personalities, and they run into each other in Seattle, and then again in the Empire State Building. When Harry met... Does everybody understand what we're doing?

And the Hendersons. God, I'm on a roll. Take this as a different game. Oh. We've moved on. I'm winning. And in this game... I'm winning this show, this episode,

and the game I just created. Young man, tell us who we're going to be playing with today. Matt Damon. Ooh, that's a good one. Matt Damon. Okay. Oh, okay. Let me write that down.

What do you do with two Ts? Okay. Okay. Take name any movie that Matt Damon's been in. Matt Damon. I can do this. Good Will Hunting. Yes.

How do you like them apples? Thank you. Please be seated. Yes. How do you like them apples? Thank you. Please be seated. All right, Ricky, what do you got? The Legend of Bagger Vance. Nice. Whoa. Getting baggy with it.

I love that. You were just like, I'm totally blanking, and then you're like, pull out this crazy movie. That was the first one I thought of. Yeah, that's a good one. I forget the one that you said a lot of. My pen died. This is a catastrophe.

Okay, we're good. I had backup. Bagger Vance. Kate, what do you have? We bought a zoo. We bought a boo. Sam? I thought you were playing.

Oh, I'm going to play. That's right. Elysium. All right, guys. Let's do this rapid fire. Ready? Yeah. Ocean's Eleven.

Oh, I get where you're going. Tig? Tig, this is an easy one. Wait, are we still naming? After Ocean's Eleven. Matt Damon? Matt Damon movies, yeah. Sam just said Ocean's Eleven. Oh, Tig. Ocean's Eleven. Matt Damon? Matt Damon movies, yeah. Sam just said Ocean's Eleven.

O-Tig. Ocean's Twelve. Yes! Ocean's Thirteen. My plan has worked! Ocean's Fourteen. What the fuck? Is there one? In your dreams. Damn it. Ocean's 14 What the fuck Is there one

In your dreams Ocean's 100 Ocean's infinity I fear I've forgotten anything else That Matt Damon has ever No wait wait he was a kid What was it Ocean's 1

Hold on wait for this one Mystic Pizza Yeah That's right Was it? Oceans 1? Hold on. Wait for this one. Mystic Pizza. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. He was. Yeah. He was in Mystic Pizza.

He was the little brother. I know. Not yet in theaters. Zero theorem. Yeah. No. You don't think that counts? Okay, I'll do another one.

I'll do another one. I don't give a shit. Talented Mr. Ripley. A movie he should have won an Oscar for, The Informant. Pfft. A movie he should have won an Oscar for, The Informant. Tig? You can do this. Matt Damon. Was he in... Yes.

The Bourne... I did see one of the Bourne movies. Is he in all of them? Yes? But they have individual titles. The Bourne Identity? Sure. Okay, now I'm like out of movies.

I know there's a sequel. I can't remember what it's called. The Bourne Supremacy? Is that real? Oh, wow. That came out of nowhere. Wait a minute. This is totally unrelated,

but I just had an idea for a movie title about mice, and it's the second movie that comes out, and let me know if this has happened, called The Squeakquel. It has come out?

That has happened? It has to be about mice. The Chipmunks movie had a squeakquel. I love people in the audience yelling out. It was done! Alvin and the Chipmunks! Their second of the trilogy.

Doug, do you remember that Christmas episode where the answer was Alvin and the Chipm Doug, do you remember that Christmas episode where the answer was Alvin and the Chipmunks? Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. Sarah couldn't remember it, and it was a huge thing, and we'd been talking about it backstage for like 15 minutes before the show.

She couldn't remember. It was an exciting moment. Are you stalling right now? No, how about this one? I don't know, this is a total guess, but I think it's right. With Meg Ryan, is it Courage Under Fire?

Yeah, he was in that. He was shooting in between his toes, right? Yeah, he was in that. Courage Under Fire. I'll go with... I'll go with Dogma. Sam? Well, no one said the Bourne Ultimatum. Yeah, they did. So I will.

Yeah, scoop it up, buddy. Tig. You can do this. He's made 73 more feature films. Tig's girlfriend has left feature films. Where did my girlfriend go? Dick's girlfriend has left the building. Dick. Where are you?

Help! Oh! Pull out my ace in the hole, why don't ya? Wait, is that my new girlfriend? Leave the building. You gotta come up here and make out with her now. No, we're... No, no, no. We don't know what happened

to old girlfriend. Okay. Let's be respectful until we're sure she's dead. That's how I refer to her. Let me call old girlfriend. Dakota, will you see if she's around the corner? Okay, Matt Damon Wow You're being judged by a gentleman in the crowd

Oh he was being rude to me He was like it's easy Well there is a movie named easy But Matt Damon does not appear in it Easy Like I had pushed a boundary Settle down Tig And give us an answer Easy. Easy. Like I had pushed a boundary. Settle down, Tig.

And give us an answer. You're making everyone uncomfortable, Tig. Okay. Oh, and HBO movies don't count. Oh, great. Just had to say it. If his movie hasn't come out yet, it didn't count. Okay, let me think.

Was he in that one? You know, where they were... Is that the imitation of me? They were running around. No, just all parents. Was he the one in that one with that other fellow from the show that we saw that time around the holidays? Where is she?

She's not coming back. She has abandoned you in your time of need. I can't believe this. You just have to guess. You're going to change your vows. Okay. Let's see. Matt Damon.

Matt Damon. You know what? We'll skip you if you'd like. Wait. Wait. Damon You know what, we'll skip you if you'd like Wait Okay, let's see Matt Damon There's a whole other game we have to play Matthew

So we should really find out what happened to her Matthew Damon What did you guys have for dinner? Carrots. So she should see that you need her. Little baby carrots. Oh, there we are. Oh!

Okay. Matt Damon, hurry. What is a movie that Matt Damon's been in? Wait, you haven't heard any of this? And you're going to guess? I think Stuck on You. Stuck on You. Oh, my God. Wait, you haven't heard any of this? And you're going to guess? Stuck on you. I am on fire.

Do you know how long I held up the game until you came back? I even met a new woman. Oh my God. came back. I even met a new woman. Maybe they should get a good look at each other and see if something can be worked out. Ricky? The Good Shepherd. Nope. Wasn't he in that?

It's like Angelina Jolie and him Kate I don't know if this has even been I'm blanking but is he in Saving Private Ryan? Yes He plays saving I'm going to go with Promised Land

Yeah I don't give a frack, I don't give a frack. And I don't give a frack that it was yelled out. I was going to say School Ties Next anyway. Oh, okay. I'll give you that. Thank you.

That's reasonable. That's all you got? Huh? You what? Elysium's been said, buddy. Yeah, we had Elysium already. You don't have anything? Nothing.

It's already been said. Who's it what? Talon's Ripley? No. You gotta take shorter shit breaks. Is there a modern, like a recent movie? Don't talk to people that way when you grow up. Or now.

Could you get out your phone? How long does it take you to perm your hair like that? It's natural? Oh, shit. Do you do anything with Ben Affleck after the... Take control Douglas

Take control of your podcast Alright Tig We're going to have to call it No no no I have some Oh wait she's got one What is it The Departed Yeah The Departed. Yeah, The Departed.

How could we forget that? I'm still in. That's a good one. That's very good. Please be safe. Ricky, what do you have? I don't have anything, so I'm going to take a total guess that he did a cameo in this movie I haven't seen. Clerks 2?

Was he in it? No. Kind of probably in it? No. Kind of probably, right? No, Ricky, he wasn't. Stop shouting things out. Audience members not playing the game. What? He didn't do a cameo? Him and Ben Affleck? Of course not.

Do not come on this game unless you're ready to really play. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Tig. Or at least bring your girlfriend. I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Tig. Or at least bring your girlfriend. I know. I'm sorry. Get a girlfriend and then bring her.

Okay, okay. Okay, so Ricky's out. Kate, what do you got? Can I ask Tig's girlfriend? Nope, you gotta do it all on your own. Mystic Pizza 2? I don't know.

It's probably in development. I can't think of any. Oh, I would like to see that. You're out. You're out. Okay. I'm You're out. Cheerful but out. Mystic Pizza 2 would be pretty good right now. I'm going to go with Team America World Police. Uh-uh.

Not on your life, buddy. Try selling that shit somewhere else. Matt Damon. He's in it. That's his name. That's his name in it. Matt Damon. Nope. He's in it. That's his name. Nope. That's his name in it. Audience ruling.

Yay or nay? All right. Oh, Tig's giving the thumbs down. Tig says no. I'm going to win this thing. Why? Are you fresh out of the game, Sam? No, I got two more.

Oh, okay. Then give us one. What do you got to complain about? You Sam? No, I got two more. Oh, okay, then give us one. What do you got to complain about? Are you in or not? You're going to win. I'm in. Oh. Yeah, I'm in. Name that name, Sam.

You're still going to win if you got two more. All right. Jay and Silent Bob strike back. Okay. Oh, that was the one. That was the one. All right. Let's see.

Let's see. Let's see. Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Damon. What do you mean you don't know? Matt Damon. Matt Damon. We're looking for another movie? I think this is Sam Salews if he really has one more.

Because I can't... I don't think I can think of another one. Matt Damon. You know, movies where he's walking around being all Matt Damon-y. It's like, oh, look, it's Matt. That's a Matt Damon type. From Massachusetts, that guy?

Yeah. Everybody's whispering in the audience. Oh, fuck fuck I got one Tig your time is up no no I'm so hoping this is the one Sam is thinking of this is my festival

is it Team America a movie Matt Damon does not appear in in any way shape or form there's a guy in a movie Matt Damon does not appear in in any way, shape, or form? There's a guy in it called Matt Damon. Uh-huh. I said movies that have Matt Damon in them. I see. Or associated with them. I see.

And my answer is The Green Zone, motherfucker! Oh, you have another one? Maybe. What is it? It's just you and me. Is it? Yeah. Euro trip.

Oh! And I'm back in the game. Oh, man. There's got to be... Don't yell out. Don't yell out. I would never have thought of Euro trip. That's good, Sam.

I would not have thought of that. Yeah. I forgot. Yeah. It's a fun game. Really gets you thinking about all the movies you've seen. He's not in Super Hymie. Shut up.

I can't think of any. What is it? Mall Rats. He's not in Super Hymie, shut up I can't think of any What is it? Mallrats? He's not in Mallrats Chase and Amy? Rounders, of course Rounders He's in Benjamin Button?

What? What? Crash? Matt Damon's in Crash? Oh yeah, Contagion. There's a Soderbergh movie. Finding Forrester? Finding Forrester Gump? Guys, I'm sorry

Congratulations Sam Levine Thank you That was a pretty good one I guess we fell a few short Oh my phone thank you What happened to it oh it fell off of here Oh thank you so much. What's your name, Mom?

Melissa? Okay. I just thought I'd refer to you by your name instead of Mom. Mommy. Yeah, you don't want to... Sorry, that's unrelated. You know what? I do like that better than Melissa. That's why I'm going to call her from now on.

Thanks for helping out, Mommy. Mommy. Oh, Mommy. Let's play the Leonard Maltin game, Mommy. Sam's our big winner from the last game so he gets to go first in this one and he gets to pick between three categories and then we'll just to

ease Tig back into this exciting game are you still going to refer to the girlfriend? I always do would you like her to come out and stand next to you and just whisper in your ear?

Is that cool? I always enjoy that. Would you mind? Here she comes. If only we had an extra chair, Doug. Good work. Did you guys see In a World? Remember her from In a World? Played my love interest.

Aww. Wow, this guy's having a conversation. Yeah, she's a volcano. She's a volcano. Use your microphone, voice her. He a conversation. Yeah, she's a volcano. She's a volcano. Use your microphone voice, sir. He doesn't... Okay, Sam. Yes.

Pick a category. The third one. Joan Cusack is celebrating a birthday today. The great Joan Cusack. So, yeah. She's my stepfather's cousin. It's true. Stop laughing. She's my stepfather's cousin It's true, stop laughing

That's distant enough That it probably shouldn't even be referred to Why, because I'm gay? Come on, let's get out of here. So the films of Joan Cusack or at the Kevin inside suggested Breaking Bad and that's films that have white

or pink or man in the title. And at Rachel107 suggested... She might be here tonight. And she suggested Federal Shutdown, which is movies where Americans are held hostage. Oh! Oh! Thank you. Which one would you like, Sam?

Well, after that round of applause, I'll take Breaking Bad. Would you like a movie with white or pink or man in the title from 1986, 1999, or 2004? Sam the Man. Doesn't give a damn. 99.

99. Yeah. 99. 99. Yeah. Two stars from Leonard for this movie that he says is 118 minutes long. He says it's got people in it who appear as themselves. That's a good clue, right?

And he says that... The lead actor perfectly embodies the subject matter. The subject of this movie that has white, pink, or man in the title, and Leonard lists eight names. How many names can you get it in? Sam the Man Levine, a.k.a. Lil' Wolverine? Seven.

Sorry, gang. I know what you were all expecting there. That was a wise opening bid. You're already a contender in the super duper tournament of championships. Not really, but... Where are we going to next? I think you'll get there.

Kate, what do you think? How many names? If I know the movie... You could go zero names or you could say negative names if you think you can name the actors in order from the top build. I think I can get just the one. So let's say negative.

I can do this in negative one. Negative one. Okay. How could you do that to Ricky, your partner? Name that movie. This is a total guess. I have no idea. No, don't say that. People hate it when you say that to Ricky, your partner? Name that movie. This is a total guess. I have no idea. No, don't say that.

People hate it when you say that. Just say it. People hate it when you say that, Sam. They'll take you on Twitter. When she says it, it's adorable. Yeah. This is a total guess. Isn't Jim Carrey Man on the Moon?

It is and it is. Nice! Pat, my heart was pounding. Like, I can't feel my legs right now. Wait, what happened to your legs? I was so nervous. Yeah, no, there's a lot riding again. Somebody here is going to get a bag of crap.

No, it's a really nice prize bag, but it's also fun just to be excited, just for the sake of being excited. And Ricky gets to start off the next round. Then we'll go to you. I mean, we'll go to Tig starts it. You're right. Tig starts it and then we go to Sam. Tig's girlfriend starts it. No, Tig starts

but then you gotta go back to Ricky. I don't gotta do anything. It always goes back at the person who challenged. Yeah. Oh, you're right. So Ricky challenged. I love that face you're making.

Just think it through, Doug. Believe me, I would love it if it went the other way, since the likelihood of a bid getting to me is slim. Yeah, right? Yeah. All right. So Tig gets to pick a slim. Yeah, right? Yeah. All right, so take it, pick a category. What would you like?

At XX Goot Goots? Wait, what? G-O-O-T-S You don't need to concern yourself with this part. XX I've concerned myself with every other part.

How could I possibly not concern myself with this part? Because it's just the name of the person on Twitter that's their handle. It's admitted it, so it's not going to be important for you to remember it or understand it. XS XX Goots XX. Okay, I need to remember that. It was almost created to create this conversation. XS Goots. Okay, I need to... It was almost created to create this conversation. XS Goots. Okay, write that down.

We're going to need that to win this game. Twitter. Put that down. The category is The Man with One Red Shoe. And that's movies where someone gets shot in the foot. At Schmal, S-C-H-M-A-L-S, Schmal's, at Schmal's dead.

Schmal, Schmal is dead? Is that your name? Schmal is dead? Schmal is dead. Okay, makes sense to you. Suggested Mr. Smith goes to Washington and that's movies that take place in Seattle. And at

Billy McClellan suggested put your Hans together. Or Hans. And it's movies with either Alan Rickman or Harrison Ford. Who played Hans Solo and Hans Gruber. I feel like I'm finally kind of starting to get how this game works. I'm very excited about that. Vaguely.

You're going to be formidable with some knowledge of how it works which of those categories would you like to play I feel like okay I wish you guys could hear the little sidebar All I whispered was Put your hands together

Put your hands together? Sure Put your hands together Sure Did your girlfriend never come up here or did she leave? I'm right here Oh, there you are She's just very tiny.

I did not know she was in your pocket. And yet she was out of pocket a second ago. Guys! Guys! It's true. I couldn't find her. I don't need to be booed

for that. I've been through enough. Which one did you pick? I'm sorry. Hans. She went Hans. I'll answer. All right. Hans. I went Hans. Would you like a movie that has Alan Rickman or Harrison Ford in it

from 1977 or 1988? I don't know what this snickering in the crowd is about, but this worked out exactly as I hoped it would. What is happening? Ashton Kutcher is going to run out any second and say, I don't know what went wrong with Jobs. What a fascinating story

and a fascinating actor. Which one would you like? Would you like 77 or 88? Now I know why you keep looking down. I was so confused earlier. Well, I feel like I want to go with 77 because I feel like that seems to make the most sense.

Okay. Does it? That's the smart way to go. Yeah, 77. Okay, this movie from 1977 that has either Alan Rickman or Harrison Ford in it got three and a half stars from Leonard

and he calls it elaborative which isn't even a word and he also says that it is imaginate. It's elaborate and imaginative, and he also says about

it that it was followed by some sequels. I know this one. Hang on, let me tell you how many names he lists. No, I know this one. He lists eight names. How many names? So if you know it, you could put zero names. Or you could go into negative names.

That means you have to name the top billed people in order. Can you tell me some names? I'm not going to tell you any names. But your girlfriend probably might know one of the top two or three names if she already knows the movie. Is it a good chance I know this?

Um. Good chance I know this. Samuel, get back in here. I really think he's leaving for good. I really think he's not going to come back. And he's the surprise host of the 10 o'clock stand-up show here tonight at the Sphinx. So I hope he didn't leave town. I hope he didn't drive around in circles for a while and then end up out of town. Can I guess?

You have to bid names. If you think you know the answer, say zero names. Zero names? And then we go to... Are you next, Ricky? Negative one. She says negative one. Or is Sam next? Or I'm next? You're next. Oh, okay. Oh, says negative one. So you're off the hook. Or is Sam next? Or I'm next? You're next.

Oh, he's back. He's back. He can't truly walk away. I had to get some water. That was pretty funny. Thanks, pal. So what are you going to do, Kate? I don't know order of names, so I'm just going to say name that movie. Okay, so...

What? It would have been fun. Wait, wait, wait. Before she says it, I want to see how nerdy this shit's going to get. Does she need to say the title as we know it now? Or as it was when it came out in 1977? No, no.

Mark Hamill, Star Wars. What? Mark Hamill, Star Wars? Yes and yes. Okay. Don't make me name the whole title. That was the title in 77? Mark Hamill, Star Wars. What? Mark Hamill's Star Wars? Yes and yes. Okay. Don't make me name the whole title. That was the title in 77? Mark Hamill's Star Wars?

Yeah, they since kind of rethought it and decided to put a new hope in there instead of the star of the movie, which never happens in the title. I guess it does sometimes. Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry's Star Wars? Yeah.

Who wouldn't want to see that? I would see that. Who didn't see that? All right, so that means that Ricky's on the board, you guys. Yeah. Sam, how many names do you think you could have gone? I was probably going to go four on that. All right.

Who's four? No. No, I will not. Who's number four? Alec Guinness is four, probably. Do it for fun, Sam. Yeah. Who's...

Hamilford Fisher Guinness. R2. Or no, I'm sorry, D2. Hamilford, Guinness? Yeah. Yeah, they slipped in Grand Moff Tarkin. They got Peter Cushing in there ahead of Alec Guinness. D2, PO.

Lucky me. People are outraged. Fucking Grand Moff. Do you like the Grand Moff kid? Nah, he doesn't care. You kind of look like young... What's his name? No, the bounty hunter.

Boba Fett, yeah. Doesn't he look like young Boba Fett? He had the curls. We're going to start with Sam and go to Kate. There we are. Sam gets to pick. At Whiskey Sigs Pod, so I guess there's a podcast out there called Whiskey Sigs Pod.

Should we write that down? Sure. Give it a listen. They suggested Life Takes Visa, and that's movies where someone gets deported. that's movies where someone gets deported. And then, at Sardonic Brian, suggested,

oh mother, where art thou? And that's movies that have orphans in them. And, your third option is The Spectacular Now, and that's movies that are in theaters now that got more than 80% on Rotten Tomatoes. Why would you give me that one? What? So you're limiting me to the first two?

Why? When would I ever pick In Theaters Now? We've discussed this off camera. Where is the camera? Oh, I see it. Doesn't this lady standing over here look like Glenn Close in The Natural? Like she's lit, but she's just standing No, don't move!

It's like she's in the show in some way We're turning to her for inspiration What was the first category? The second one was Orphan And I didn't mean to call you Albert Knob You seem very... Was the first category? The second one was an orphan. And I didn't mean to call you Albert Knobbs. You seem very... And I'm not going to put you in the boo box.

I'll take a movie where... Actually, let's do an orphan. There's an orphan. Okay. All right. I'm just excited right now that no Rufio chanting just burst out. No, that was not a cue. It usually does. But no, you guys missed it.

Usually, if I bring up fucking Hook, the crowd chants Rufio, and that's why you're my favorite crowd. You're not doing that. There's always going to be somebody. I had a chance to meet that guy recently, and I blew it. Did you meet him at the poker game, Sam? No, I met him years ago.

But he was at that game we were at, that poker game. Oh, I did not see him. Yeah, I saw him. I was going to go over and say something like, your movie's stupid. That movie you made when you were a child is fucking bullshit. Yeah. You know, he wrote and directed it.

Yeah. But the studio had a problem with it, and so they put Spielberg's name on it to sell tickets. Yeah. You know, he wrote and directed it. Yeah. But the studio had a problem with it, and so they put Spielberg's name on it to sell tickets. Whatever. Well, they were right to have a problem with it. Okay, what are we doing? What's happening? Movies with an Orphan.

Oh, yeah. And then we'll go to Kate. Oh, I'm ready to play. I just remembered a movie with an orphan. Oh, okay. So it might be one of these. Would you like a movie with an orphan in it from 1978 or 2006? Son of a bitch.

Are those both years you weren't expecting? Yeah, I had like a slew queued up in my head, and they're not those years. Hmm, interesting. Hmm. Hmm. All right, 2006. Mm year is 2006. Three stars from Leonard. Yeah. He says about this movie that someone appears in this movie via footage from a previous movie. And he also says that...

Oh, he says the lead performer in this movie is appealing. Is he a banana? I wonder what Kate's brain thinks about that one And he lists 13 names What do you think, Sam? 13 names I think I know but honestly I truly think I'm thinking of the wrong movie

so I will make a bid I'll say 9 names Okay, Kate 8 names? That's incorrect Told you I was getting the feel of this game. Ricky. Name that movie.

Oh, she gets eight names. This is for the win either way. Sorry. She either knows it or she doesn't. Sorry, Tig and Sam. It's all right. Tig and I are going to go heads up after this, right? Thank you for playing.

Yeah. Yeah, we'll have an after party game. But your eight names, Kate, and bless you, sneezer in the audience. Blessings. Our Noel Neal, Jack Larson, Peta Wilson, James Caron, Sam Huntington, Cal Penn,

Parker Posey, Eva Marie Saint. All right. I think it's clear now. I can't tell you how much I hate myself. This movie from 2006 has an orphan in it. I thought the movie was from 2005. Oh, okay.

That's what happens sometimes. Someone's a real ding dong. Are there more names or is that it? Well, there's more names, but you only get eight of them, right? Shoot. Not much to work with, is it? Yeah. So I think Ricky might be our winner

I have no idea what this movie is Just think of like What's the most famous orphan you can think of? Annie Annie You knew you were just going to say Annie Who was abandoned? Fievel

All orphans? Fievel Okay, we've narrowed it down it's Bible or Annie yep he sings this song whenever he goes to the fortress of solitude the orphan song

yeah and the motion picture is called Superman Returns Superman one of our greatest orphans of all time in history the Orphan Song. Yeah, and the motion picture is called Superman Returns. Superman, one of our greatest orphans of all time in history. Ricky Lindholm's our winner! Thank you. Who are you playing for, Ricky? Where's your person

you're playing for? What? Scott Nato. Yes. So Scott, come's your person you're playing for? What? Scott Nato. Yes. So, Scott, come get your prizes. Oh, that was easy. Just reach across the table. And don't forget these things.

I don't know if you want those or not, but they seem valuable. It's the loner's tour kit for D. for DC because it's all single passes into museums. So you're going to have to go by yourself like some sort of creep. And we need to see if there's shitheads on the back of the other name tags. So if you could

pass them over. Groundhog Dave needs to come up and present a shithead. Then you can also take these tickets back at a ridiculously low price. Oh, okay. And Ricky says a very complicated thing on the back that we're not going to see, unfortunately. Oh, Tiggs has this. Okay, good. I'm glad we're going to see

this because this is really spectacular. Who is this person? That's Groundhog Dave. A lot of effort. Oh, hi, Groundhog Dave. Hi, Dave. I'm sorry I had such a poor outing on your behalf, Dave. I was looking down, then I looked up, and then there was a person standing there.

I'll just leave this name tag here with the... Oh, who is that person? It's a lot going on. Was that your girlfriend? Who's what? My girlfriend? Yeah, there's just a girl that appeared out from... I don't have a girlfriend.

That was Lauren of Arabia. We'll get you one. We'll get you one. Okay, thank you. Yeah. Sure. She's DC. On National Coming Out Day.

There's a girl in the front row that's real excited about this. All right. So do you guys have anything you want to, Kate and Ricky, where can people see Garfunkel and Oates live, or when does the IFC show start? Right here on this stage in a couple of minutes.

Yeah, tonight in Seattle. We're playing Seattle in the end of October and the Garfunkel and Oates show starts July 2014. Nice. I'm busy then. Tig, what's going on with you? The rest of Benson Ball? That's it.

That's it? You're just going to be here for the rest of the weekend? Yeah, I'll be here. I'm doing shows here and there. It's on my website. I'm writing a book. I'm writing a couple scripts. You know.

Yeah, I do know know going to see movies Sam what's going on with you? well Dr. Facehands is no longer airing on television but it's okay if you're interested at all it is on iTunes yeah I didn't think so

and then also you can see me every Sunday on Kevin Pollack's'sChatShow.com. Upcoming guest this Sunday, the one and only Ben Folds. So check that shit out. Oh, you know what I forgot? I have a podcast called Professor Blastoff. Yes.

I don't miss a single episode of Captain Takeoff. It's my favorite comedy science podcast. Go to Professor Blastoff. Yes. And thank you to everyone in the audience. Thank you, everyone on stage. Ricky Lindholm. Kate McEuchie, a.k.a. Garfunkel Notes,

Tig, a.k.a. Tig Notaro, and Sam the Mam Levine, a.k.a. Lil Wolverine. I don't even know how to say this first one. Do you know how to say that, Kate? Trigamental? Neuralgia? I got neuralgia. So the answer would be no, Kate.

I got neuralgia. I got that. But trigeminal? Trigeminal. Okay. Trigeminal. That's what I said. Yeah. Trigeminal neuralgia is a shithead? Yeah, I can't agree more.

Unpaid vacations to watch movies are a shithead. And driving in circles is a shithead! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.