Doug Loves Movies - T.J. Miller, Al Madrigal, Sean Cullen, and Greg Proops Guest

Episode Date: July 24, 2014

Live from the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal, Doug welcomes comedians T.J. Miller, Al Madrigal, Sean Cullen, and Greg Proops to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody! Hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Very nice.

That was kind of like singing. Wow. It sounds like I'm in some sort of arena. But it's a very big room, for sure. But I don't know if I'm going to give any kind of like Lindbergh speech or something. We're coming to you for the first time from the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal, Canada. We did it. We're in the Hyatt Grand Salon Opera.

They usually do operas in this room. So it's going to be, I've got a great opera prepared for you guys today. It's Friday, July 26, 2014. Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2. Judgment Day of the dead men walking tall. The president's men in black. Fisher King, Ralph the Dog.

Dog Day Afternoon. Delight, Sleep Perfect, Murder by Death Wish. Three Amigos, World's End of Watchmen. Don't leaving Las Vegas food lot, jingling all the way. Jingle all the way. I wrote down jingling all the way. That's a totally different movie.

Let me see your name tags, Montreal. Oh, my goodness. Is that Rob Ford? Who is that guy? Just some politician that's not rob ford okay bet the case the curious case of benedict button so your name is button zoe dark 30 i like that 16 kendall's life aquatic what'd you change on that with steve mccrimmon instead of Zizou. I like it.

Oh, there's a Sean of the Dead over there. Did you, what's your name? Sarah. Oh, Sarah of the Dead. I get it. Wow, there's a lot of big ones, a lot of good ones. Well, thank you guys so much for bringing those. Oh, I saw one right there that's going to come in handy probably.

From the corrections department, Andy probably. From the corrections department, I don't know why I thought that at 139 minutes, Once Upon a Time in America was over three hours long. Two hours and 19 minutes is, by my calculation, about 41 minutes shy of three hours. my calculation, about 41 minutes shy of three hours. But, you know, that's true no matter how high you are. And I don't know if that info would have affected the outcome of the game we're playing, but I also don't care. Yeah, who cares? Has anybody here today coming to see the Benson Interruption tomorrow night? Awesome. It's like right across the street, I guess. And it's something called La Strale. Every show during Just for Laughs

has to be at a place that the comedians, when they're telling people where their show is, they don't know how to fucking say it. I was watching the Opie and Jim Norton show this morning, and he cannot figure out how to say Gise or whatever it is. It's kind of weird. You put one of the dirtier comedians in a club that he's just walking around saying he's at the jizz club. But he's not here today. And I've got five great guests and a co-interrupter lined up for tomorrow night that you guys are really going to enjoy. And four awesome people here today.

I would dare say four of my favorites in the whole world of comedy. Yeah, exactly. Canada and the States are represented by these guests. Please give a big warm welcome to Sean Cullen, Al Madrigal, Greg Proops, and TJ Miller. Thank you. Keep that going. Yes. Don't stop believing.

Keep it going. It's 1.30 in the afternoon, you guys. Fucking get crazy. The bar is not open at the Hyatt until 2. That's how you know Montreal is awesome. Yeah, they were open last night until 3. And then you can still stay for like two or three more hours after that if you want to. Yeah, you can. I mean, you'd be

staying 11 hours, but this podcast isn't about math. No, we've already discussed that when I thought that a movie that's two hours and 19 minutes long is over three hours. Probably just felt like it was. But that's Tj miller everybody

let's hear it for him from yogi bear 3d there's a lady there that's got a name tag she made especially if you were here leah yeah she's got one for every single person greg proofs yeah no just you buddy yeah uh i am so happy that you're here. It's been a while since you've been on the show. I had to come all the way up to Montreal to get you, because you're the star of the Emmy-nominated Silicon Valley. Yeah. And the Oscar-nominated Transformers. And the Oscar-nominated Transformers 4.

That's exactly what I have written down on this piece of paper. Because it'll get a special effects nomination for sure, and you're going to be in a fucking Oscar-nominated movie. It was especially affecting to the audience. It was an hour and 45 minutes long. That's what it's being nominated for. I was thinking I wanted to pitch to you. To make it sound more highfalutin when you talk about it.

Highfalutin. You should refer to it as... I like highflutin. You should. Only the top of the piccolo gets played. You should call it Transformers 4 Age of Distinction. Yeah, that does make it better. Sounds like a Richard Ivory movie.

Bay should have known that any mention of extinction is just fodder for the critics who are already so hard on him to say, like, this franchise has become extinct without Sheila Buffet or whatever. Sheila Buffet? Sheila Buffet or whatever. Sheila Buffet? Sheila Buffet. That's how the French say her, the buffet. It's a buffet of sexuality.

TJ brought for the prize bag three spray Avion bottles. Yeah, and those are Avion facial sprays. They're imported from France, and they moisturize and tone and refresh, and they're the most American product that there is because people in other parts of the world are dying because they can't get a cleanly source of water. In America, we're like, sometimes I like it on the outside. And it's also the only prop I've ever used on stage.

It's also a great way to, it keeps you from getting the avian flu. That's right. That's exciting. Greg Proops is here, you guys. Yes! Bonjour, Monreal. Comment ça va? Je m'appelle Greg Roy. He put in the prize bag a package of gum

that he signed on the back. And he also, I think he, oh, no, I thought you chewed some of the gum. But it's a pristine package of gum. They give it to us in our, when you come to the Just Perere Festival, they give you a hostility package. And in it is a package of gum and some other effluvium and other ungodly shit that tastes like a book. Yeah, like a book that says comedy on the front of it.

And then it's blank on the inside. It's like, we don't fucking know. You work it out. You come up with some comedy. Anybody can do it. All you need is a piece of paper. My book didn't say comedy on it. It was just blank?

Disappointment. That's another weird thing to give out at a comedy festival. They gave us earplugs so we can really enjoy the shows. And oh, some Advil. That's nice. I would have preferred the French Canadian Tylenol with codeine because it's awesome up here.

The 222s who's with me that's you can get them at the farm of preeks I got I gotta go I'll be right back I changed my mind about giving you guys this pen I'm gonna hang on to it but there's some hand lotion that's so it always comes in handy when you're at a festival like this touching a bunch of dirty sons of bitches. And then a copy of my album Gateway, Doug. And then Al Madrigal is here, everybody.

I have never been on... Have I been on this show? Is this... You're on it right now? I'm on it now. I know that. I think this might be your first time. I think it might be. I did. I think so. We watched Fast and Furious 5 in LA. Fast 5. Fast 5.

And that was fantastic. If you haven't seen that, it made me I went back and watched every other fast car movie after that. They're terrific for interrupting because they just they're well interrupting because they're

well made, but they're silly. Well, my favorite part, and I forget what actor this was, there's a guy in the film that looked exactly like Dane Cook, and so it just made it so easy for me to do Dane Cook lines. You think Vin Diesel looks

like Dane Cook? Exactly. If Vin Diesel had hair, yeah. I would pay so much money just to see Vin Diesel looks like Dane Cook? Exactly. If Vin Diesel had hair, yeah. I would pay so much money just to see Vin Diesel do one Dane Cook routine. Yeah. Dane Cook. Like a Jokey Oaky type of situation where you could just put celebrities up

doing other people's acts. Did Vin Diesel's the voice of a character in Guardians of the Galaxy? And he only says three words over and over again, the whole movie. Like, did he just record it once and go home? And they're just like,

we're going to say Vin Diesel is in this. No one's going to give a shit. Isn't, isn't that the same? He only says three words in those car movies. He's like, let's get fast. Let's get furious.

I look similar to Dane Cook. That's all hyphenated. Yeah. And like Iron Giant, he's like, I'm a robot. In the pac Giant, he's like, I'm a robot. In the pacifier, he was like, this is

mistakes. So, just for laughs, it's very nice to include in our bag that they give us everybody some CDs from Comedy Central Records. And they're from Morgan Murphy, Tom Segura, and Dennis Miller. and Al Madrigal

signed all three of them for whoever whoever wins today just for rear that's going to be a real conversation starter on your coffee table why are these albums by other comedians signed by Al Madrigal and it's because

that's how big he's getting in this business these guys wouldn't have been able to do this without him. And what else are you up to right now, Al? I'm on a show. I'm on an NBC show. Or Global. I think it's on Global. Is that a fucking network?

So it's about a boy. And I still do the daily show. You're on about a boy? I I still do the daily show. You're on About a Boy? I am. What character in the movie are you representing in the TV show? There is a fat friend in the beginning that has maybe three lines where you see Hugh Grant go off and never, like you tell, he's convinced to be single and love

and completely selfish after that point because he hates his married friends and I'm that married friend. Let's get fast. Let's get a boy. Yeah, that's right. I like that the national broadcasting company, NBC, their affiliates internationally came up with an even more generic name for their network. It's the Global Network. Yeah, that's right.

Somebody should just start one. TV Network. Tonight on TV. Programs. Canada's own Sean Cullen is here, you guys. Hello. Hi, everyone. Thank you for having me.

Global. And it's not even global. It's local. It's just here. It's just here, so it's not global. It's a lie already. You brought something really interesting for the prize bag. That I'm holding in my hand it's a it's a little ceramic sad indian yeah looking at pollution this is yeah this is my this is my

father made these before he passed away he uh had a resin mold company and he was very fond of native motifs so eventually died of resin poisoning but this this work he did he incorporated some feathers into it yeah there's feathers in his hair that are very nice to stroke and he still looks sad when you do it he's got a very sad face and he's got a feather kind of fan. Oh, everyone knows that the native people love fans, and it features largely in their culture. Why don't you tell everyone why that particular statuette is so important to you? Well, because this is the last one my father made. He was barely able to speak or see,

but he still had the strength to pour resin into the mold. And like that. Storm is coming. I like the talk. It does tell the weather. It's amazing. You're so politically conscious that you said, it has feathers in its hair.

It. It being in its hair. It. It being a lady. It might be a lady. It could be luck. Resin. Be a lady tonight. Luck be a lady. I got his feathers all wet.

If you ever were a native lady, luck be a lady tonight. Yeah, there we go. Lady doesn't spray my resin. It isn't right, it isn't show. Lady doesn't go around all over the room and wet other guy's feathers so. How many points would Aisha Tyler give you for that one, Greg? How many Indians can you fit up

your ass? All of them. I don't think I could get one up my ass. This thing is big and it's heavy, too. It'd be hard to walk. It's unwieldy. You should see some of my father's other work. They're much more smooth on the sides.

When they're standing up with their arms at their sides, no problem. Their heads are cone-shaped. Also, I'm throwing in a box of Kleenex that was in the green room. Did you sign it? Oh yeah, I'll sign it. It's a good idea. Each Kleenex. Now that's a conversation

starter. Next to the bed. You're signing it in a pen. You're a true consummate professional. I don't have a Sharpay. Come out and gnaw your name into the box. Sean Cullen, let's start with you. Okay, what's wrong? I'm going to have to ask you to go outside.

No. Have you seen any movies lately? Oh, you know, I've seen... I had to look at a piece of paper to come up with that question. Let me see what I've got for Sean. Have you been to the movies? I saw a very...

Like, this was released on iTunes. It says, currently in theaters. In that section of iTunes, it says, currently in theaters. And you know it's not currently in theaters. Or maybe it's in theaters. In that section of iTunes it says currently in theaters. And you know it's not currently in theaters. Or maybe it's in one. But it was called Snowpiercer?

Yeah. With Captain America? Chris Evans. Chris Evans. I have a liking for Chris Evans. I like his honest portrayal of Captain America. He's a sweet man with incredible muscles and no other powers. And I like that

about him. That shield comes right back to him when he throws it. Yeah, but I don't get that. How is that possible? It's not a boomerang. It's just a circle. Yeah, a circle does not have that aerodynamic quality of a boomerang. It depends on the wind and if it if there's an updrift. Alright. I don't want to get into it.

It's also, he has enhanced meteorological powers so he can discuss the wind currents with himself as he throws it. He's so swift. It'll lodge itself in a wall when he throws it at a wall. He runs right up to it, just pulls it right out. Yeah, but he can catch it too. It's crazy. It goes through concrete, just pulls it right out. Yeah, but he can catch it, too. It's crazy.

It goes through concrete, but not through his hand. You know what? That's probably why they named the entire organization after it. Shield. Oh. Simple is best. But Snowpiercer. Did you like that?

I actually did. Yeah. It's kind of, I think it's a Thai director. It's a very Hong Kong action feel to it. It's the dude who did The Host, I think. Yeah. Yeah. And it's basically, they're on a train, and the train is the last place humanity exists, and the train goes around the world constantly after a deep freeze has occurred.

It's a new ice age, and nothing can survive outside the train. So Chris Evans and several other people live at the back of the train, and they eat some kind of cubes of sludge, and they have a revolution in trying to get up to the engineering. The rich people are in the front part of the train. Yeah. So he fights his way through a train.

Yeah. Like, it goes from car to car having fights. Yeah. It's great. It is amazing. Have you seen it? Yeah. I think goes from car to car having fights. Yeah. It's great. It is amazing. Have you seen it? Yeah. I think it's quite fun.

There's a great scene. There's a great scene where Chris Evans and his pals arrive at a place, and the door opens, and there's hundreds of guys with axes. And we've got these pipes and stuff. This isn't going to work out well for us. And then all the lights go out and it's a fight in the dark and they're just getting chopped to pieces.

And then a man runs from the back of the train Don't say too much! with a torch and then they win the fight. Because then they can see again. Then they can see again. It's pretty amazing. I don't think there's many people in the audience that are like,

I wish you said Snowpiercer spoiler alert because I'm intending to watch it tonight. Listen, I haven't told you the best parts of Snowpiercer by any stretch. It's called Snowpiercer? It makes no sense to me. That's a weird name. It's called Snowpiercer because that's what it's called when you make a snow

angel lying face down. Oh. You add a little hole there. So you have to be very excited about making that snow angel. You totally pierce the snow with your cockilage. I was going to say, if the angel's face down, it can be a little bit of a snow devil if you get

on top, you know? I thought that would do better. It's a snow angel fucking joke. What else do you want? John Hurt is in the movie. John Hurt, he's a wonderful actor. Okay, I didn't say tell me everything you know about a movie. And Ed Harris, of course, is in it.

Right, because he's the guy on the phone at Apollo running the... He's the weirdo in every movie. The weird, blue-eyed Aryan man with no hair in every movie. Or a really fancy wig. He likes to wear a wig on occasion. He's cute. Just like Al Madrigal.

Have you been to the movies lately? I know you're busy. I saw the last one. I have a 12-year-old right now, so I'm getting to introduce him to a lot of comedies, which is great. So we just have been on a marathon. Since it's summer, they're watching almost one a night.

So we just watched Shaolin Soccer, Groundhog Day, and Dumb and Dumber. And he's seeing all these things. He, of course, fights it in the beginning and then is convinced it's the best movie he's ever seen at the end. And then as far as the theater I saw Edge of Tomorrow which I thought was fantastic. I loved it.

That's interesting that you saw Groundhog Day and Edge of Tomorrow in close proximity. I really did. It was amazing. It seems like the easiest fucking script to write after just like let's take Matrix and let's take Groundhog Day and fucking Tom Cruise put them together. I'm actually

friendly with Tom Cruise which is exciting so I went to go support him. What does that mean, friendly? We became buddies on the, well Do you guys go snow piercing ever? I was going to say by buddies you mean he keeps you

in his ice castle. Yeah, exactly. This was on the Daily Show and I had a piece air. And so the move is that we get to stand in this mini kitchen and you hope that some celebrity would walk by and then you get to interact with them because they just saw you on the monitor. And he came by and... This is how we're so close,

is that he came by and he said, good job, and he came right up to me and shook my hand. And then I was nervous, and I dropped my pen, and there was this moment where we just locked eyes, and he slowly bent down, picked up my pen, and paused for a little bit right near my crotch area, looked at it, and then rose back up. He was checking you out? He was totally checking me out.

I feel pretty fucking good about it, too. It was awesome. So I'm happy to go support Mike. That's the end of your friendship right there? That's it. That's how it ended. And a new relationship began. Yeah. So I'm happy to go support Mike. That's the end of your friendship right there? That's it. That's how it ended. And a new relationship began. Yeah.

Something beyond friendship. He's extremely exciting to be around. I've met him twice in both times. The whole time, I couldn't... I just couldn't get over it. It's just really... He just really is a fucking movie star. And also just seems like a sweetheart.

You're cool as shit. Doesn also just seems like a sweetheart. Cool as shit. Doesn't bring up Scientology ever. And also, can I say this real quick? Didn't have anybody with him. Sacha Baron Cohen came on the show. And he had 20 people fucking with him. Entourage. Tom Cruise.

Just shows up. One dude. Oh, you had one dude with him? Yeah, just one person. How many did Sacha have? 20. 20 people with up? One dude. Oh, you had one dude with him? Yeah, just one person. How many did Sasha have? 20. 20 people with him? 20 people, 20 person.

What, is there a security force or something? Well, it was right when he was putting out The Dictator, and so he had those chicks dressed up, his little militia or whatever he was doing. He was doing a thing. He was doing a thing. But there was still a lot of... Well, I'm just wondering if he traveled with 20 people.

There were a shitload of people other than the hired model chicks he had in fatigues or whatever the fuck he was doing. What an asshole. That's what I'm getting at. Am I just saying? I'm glad you said it, Sean. Sorry, I don't know him, so I don't care. Same thing with Florida, the rapper.

Sorry, Flo Rida. He comes with a large entourage as well. It's true. Greg, have you been to the movies? I mean, besides Transformers 4. No, I was gonna see Transformers 4 and then I remembered

I'm an adult. But it looks good. How could you ever get tired of robots fighting? You know what? I think there's too much fussing between robots in movies, and that's what raises my dander. I feel robots should live in peace and harmony, and they should make a movie called Robot Piercers,

where their extensions come out and grasp one another firmly. Amen. I don't know if I'd go watch that. You're probably right. Fighting's better. I think I've seen a Michael Bay. What was the one where Scarlett Johansson is in a white thing? The Island. Yeah. I took my own...

I treat every movie question like it's a game show. I just jump in as soon as I know the answer. You truly do love movies. This is how much I love movies. I saw the, I guess, TJ, this is a question for you. How many minutes into Transformers 4 did I walk out? I'd say 27 minutes.

No, your character leaves the movie. I won't say why. 45 minutes in, that's when I left. Really? Mm-hmm. I just wanted to see you, and then when you were gone, I even had to stay a couple extra minutes, because even after you're gone, you're still around for a second.

That's true. It's grim. No, I think it's optimistic, because I don't have to work with Michael Bay again. Yeah. I found a lot of positivity within that. So it was rough? It was not a good time?

Well, no. Was it rough nut or tough nut? It was rough nut. And it was tough nut. It was very... Seriously, why is the girl and the boy, why are they named rough nut and tough nut? Like, why rough or tough don't seem right for the girl? Yeah, I don't know.

I think they came up with tough nut, and then they were like, well, it's a twin. It rhymes with that. I'm sorry to hit you with all these hard questions. No, no, it's okay. And Gruff Nut wasn't a good idea. I'm really Katie Keurig-ing you right now. What magazines do you read? That's a trick question.

So Michael Bay just yells at everybody? Is that the thing? Well, you know, he has a specific way of communicating with people. Like once, he said to Well, you know, he has a specific way of communicating with people. Like once he said, he said to me, you know, nothing that you've said is funny, TJ, not one thing all day. We hired you to be funny. You're like, look, there's 300 people here. None of them are laughing at you. Say something funny. I can still cut you out of the movie. And I said, Michael, I would love that because then I would be able to leave right this instant. And he said, say something funny. You haven't even made the make a wish kids laugh.

And that was true. And I said, it's true. It's true. And I, to be fair to him, I hadn't, you know, so they were just sort of standing there like, this is not our wish. We can, we, we trade our wish in. We didn't want to see the emptiness of hollywood screaming through a man dressing all in white but then the weird thing was you should have said to him go try to make a speech well he's not good at that yeah i mean he is stage fright but uh you know i but then the second the cameras would stop rolling he'd be like hey you want to go get sushi and have some drinks it's a very bizarre bipolar experience. But the movie that I saw, I went and saw Transformers 4,

and I brought an audience from the comedy club in Omaha at the Funny Bone, because I thought, look how cool that's going to be. I bring everybody there, we watch the movie together, I'll do some funny Q&A at the end of it. I thought it was a brilliant idea. Then as we started to watch the movie, I remembered that it's three and a half hours long.

So by the end of it, which people kind of felt beholden to stay to the end, it was really awful. I mean, people bolted out of the theater. I fell asleep at one point. It was really a bad idea. I imagine if one sat through the whole thing at the end, if asked, how'd you like T.J. Miller,

they'd go, he was in that? Yeah. Because a lot of shit probably happens. Well, but you should have stayed to the end because there's really sort of, I don't know, it's both cathartic and they really tie up the end of it because it ends up that the humans aren't extinct and neither are the Transformers

but Mark Wahlberg kind of triumphs and so do the Autobots. It's similar to no, it's exactly the same as the last three films. So I thought it was really good. I actually have a Michael Bay story as well.

I dropped my pen and he just took so much time in the dick story as well. I dropped my pen. And he just took so much time in the dick and balls area. Did he yell at your dick and balls? And then he yelled at my dick and balls. Your dick and balls haven't said anything funny this whole day.

You call that a dick and balls? Al, can I borrow your pen? Yeah, it's a great friend. I got it. TJ, was there a particular ad lib that did get in the movie that you're proud of? Yeah. Because you had some funny lines.

There's a couple, but one of them I'm really proud of, and the other one I'm disgusted by. Oh, great. Give us both. The ad lib that I, well, I'll say the thing that I hated was that he and I, he's actually quite funny, and so we were arguing, we're not arguing, but we just sort of discussed, was this the funniest thing?

And it was during this particular scene where he said, I came over and I said, Michael, this doesn't totally make sense. I think this line is a remnant from an earlier draft in the script. And he was like, yeah, I don't like this scene. So what do you think it should be? And I was like, what? You want me to make up a scene in a movie

that's going to be seen by 300 million people worldwide? And he's like, what? You want me to make up a scene in a movie that's going to be seen by 300 million people worldwide? And he's like, yeah. And so we worked through it, and then eventually he came up with this idea that I come up with the eviction notice, and I say, you know, Tess, you know, mi casa es su casa, and we're about to lose the casa.

And he said, that's hilarious. That's the one you should say. And I was like, I do not agree. I think this is an awful idea. I really, cause I talked to him straight up and I was like, this will be a thing that embarrasses me permanently in front of millions, hundreds of millions of people. And he was like, just trust me. It'll be hilarious. And I trusted him and he was wrong was wrong uh but then he did do something great which is he let me riff this thing and he kept it in which is where I say if you report that there's a transformer then you win like a hundred thousand dollars and uh Mark Wahlberg's like I don't think you win it I think it's a reward and I was like no it's not you think Greg would lie to me and

that's amazing because there's no mention of Greg we never see him it's not you think greg would lie to me and that's amazing because there's no mention of greg we never see him it's such a thing that i would say i always with my girlfriend make fun of like this guy you know make guys named greg and talking about greg and it's just a fictional thing and i every time i see it in the film because i've seen it upwards of 30 times uh but i i it's so funny to me that he let me say that in a major motion picture. Thank you, Doug. There's a really big hair

hanging off of your face. Yeah, it's from my head. But that is amazing to me that in a movie I say, you think Greg would lie to me? And it's just an absurdist line. I might have laughed at that one. I laughed a few times.

But also it's so random when he hits you really hard with the football in the face. That was the one where he said nothing that you're doing is funny. That's where he yelled at me because I couldn't get it right. You got to come up with a funny response to getting hit in the face with a football? I think it's pretty funny just to go, blah! Which will play well on the podcast for the listeners. But no, I mean, there is some funny stuff in there what's random to me about it is that i'm in the movie like it doesn't make sense it feels every time i watch it it feels to me like somebody of mine was like hey i got

this editor to cgi you into transformers and you look like a fucking idiot. Because it is weird that Mark Wahlberg will be like, we gotta go! Drive! And then the guy Jack Rayner's like, hey, it's nice to meet you. I'm pursuing your daughter. And she's like, this is Shane. He drives, Dad. And then it cuts to me and I'm like, they're scary

cars. It just seems fake the entire time. Which the surrealism of that actually i embrace more than actually being in the film but i do appreciate that the first 45 minutes of this one i'm not saying this just to say it the first 45 minutes this one is the best 45 minutes of any of the transformer movies because that is a bold statement because mark walberg is good he's great he's better than labouf And you are there with him for 45 minutes as the

sidekick or whatever. And his daughter is hot. Although it's weird how he's yelling at his daughter to put on shorts that are bigger. But Michael Bay is lingering on her ass while it's happening. Well, he got down and he did that shot. It's like looking up into her

shorts. He did that shot and everybody, and this is the last thing I'll say about Transformers because there's a thousand stories, but he got down and people were making fun of him. They're like, this is the Michael Bay angle. And then Wahlberg tells her your shorts are too short. And then I say, I think she looks hot for a teen. And that was Bay's line.

And I was like, Bay, I don't think we should say that at all. That's a crazy thing to say. And he's like, Bay, I don't think we should say that at all. That's a crazy thing to say. And he's like, no, trust me, it'll be hilarious. But then in the ADR session... Like all of my films, non-stop laughs.

Yeah, pain and gain was more pain than gain. But I finally, I argued with him when we were doing ADR, like doing the voiceover stuff in the editing room, and he's actually really cool. We looked at the whole thing and tried to come up with jokes, but I luckily was able to add, for a teen, like a teen ager,

you know, and that seems, there's something that I made it just a little bit better, but it still makes my character sound like a fucking pervert because he's the surrogate uncle of this girl. It's just fucking weird. He's the soon-to-be-deceased uncle of this girl, and he's talking about

how hot she is. Earlier you said you weren't going to say how I departed from the movie. Oh. I just assumed the character would die someday. Was that character an immortal? I did a backstory, and eventually Lupus takes him. It's terrifying.

All right, fellas. Well, that was a lovely chat about the cinema, and now we have to move on to the game portion of the show. Let the games begin. Let the games begin. Lots of folks brought lots of the show. Let the games begin. Lots of folks brought lots of name tags. Oh, I saw that one on Twitter today, right? Yeah.

And so you guys can just physically get up and go pick a name tag of who you'd like to play for. There's lots of good ones. A lot of them have my face on it, which I like, but I don't get to pick the name tags so I don't know why someone would pick

one that has my face on it but it happens sometimes and we don't have a commercial in this episode so I'm just going to keep babbling during this part Doug Lowe's movies you should buy a free subscription to my podcast

I just thought I'd throw an ad in the smartest man in the world and he is You should buy a free subscription to my podcast. I just thought I'd throw an ad in. The smartest man in the world, and he is. Yeah, buy a free subscription to that. But I'm doing Douglas Movies again next Wednesday at the Traverse City Film Festival, and Michael Moore is going to be a guest on that one, because it's his film festival. And I am not doing my podcast,

cashing in with T.J. Miller at that festival. You I am not doing my podcast cashing in with TJ Miller at that festival. You're not? Nope. But that was a good way for me to get in my ad. Did you have fun at that Traverse City Comedy Festival when you did it that one time? Yeah, I bet it was super fun. Yeah, we had a good time.

What's that thing from Monsters, Inc. or whatever? With a beard. Aw. It's Victor. People are sad for him because he landed. Oh, it's Victor. It's Victor, but he had a beard or something on him. Yes, it's his beard.

It's exactly like him. Jesus, somebody in the front row was like, it's still on him. Can't you see? This is ridiculous. No, it's the one-eyed guy from Monsters, Inc. That's right. Scully.

Mike Scully. Mike Scully. Mike Scully. Yeah. Look at him, just sitting there on my knee. Mike Sullivan. Why'd you throw him up here? Oh, so he's got the same beard you have. That's it.

And are you hoping to just have one eye someday? Did you want him back? Sure. Yeah, sure. There's so many things I can do with it. It's a gift for you. Can't he sit by the Indian for a while so they can be friends during the show?

There we go. The native man. Your beard is so long, and your feathers are so wet. One-eyed creature speaks the truth. Walking in the rain with the one-eyed creature speaks the truth walking in the rain with the one-eyed guy the one-eyed guy um who are you playing for there tj uh she didn't write her name on it did you leah yeah oh never mind i don't want this one uh Just kidding. So I'm playing for Leah, who made a Leah, yeah,

with a picture of me that implies that I've had a rough week. Most pictures of you imply that, don't they? No, most pictures of me imply that I've had a rough month. Oh, I see. Let me make a vine of this. Hold it up there. Oh, that's nice. That's real nice.

Hold it, hold it. Okay. Who are you playing for, Greg? I'm playing for Yo, Edwin. Oh, that's nice. A little rocky thingy. Al, who are you playing for? Lisa, right here in the front row. It looks like she put a tremendous amount of effort into this.

The big Poluski. Is that your name? Poluski? Poluski. Okay. It's like Poluski? Poluski? Okay. Nice. It's like Big Lebowski, but still Polish sounding. And oh, look at that. Let me get you, get all of you. I mean the sign and the thing.

Because the vine runs out at the end. Check out how much little time you have at the end. I gave TJ too much. Greg just the right amount. Too much out. Oh, you got in there. I got in. Yeah. You made it. Greg, just the right amount. Too much out. Oh, you got in there. I got in. Yeah.

You made it. Trevor, say Trevor again. Now, do you think that's a James Bond film? I do think it is. I do, too. Because it's got Sean Connery, and he plays James Bond in it. Klaus Maria Brandauer is unbelievable as a crazy weirdo in that. Oh, you like him in that?

Yeah. Is it Klaus Maria Brandauer? Yeah, it is. He's fantastic in it. Oh, you like him in that? Yeah. Is it Klaus Maria Brandt? Yeah, it is. He's fantastic in it. And Kim Basinger is the... She's the Bond girl in that one, yeah. And he says something to her like, you have a very pretty head

and if you displease me, I cut it off. Or you know what I mean? He's like, you're a villain. He's very sexy while being threatening. He was threatening to make her haircut shorter? Yeah. No.

Yo Adrian says, the Leonard Maltin game ain't over till it's over. Which is a true statement. Is it? Yeah. It's over when it's over. True of most things that occur. About three o'clock is when it's going to be over.

That's what we're shooting for. They got, Andy Kindler's going to come in and do the State of the Union address. State of the Union? Yes. If only. He's just going to read Barack Obama's last State of the Union and throw in an occasional shrug. And then Barack Obama's coming in at four

to deliver the State of the Industry address. Call me. It's not funny. Andy's very funny State of the Industry address is going to be in this room at 3.30, so we have to clear out at 3 o'clock. I'm mostly saying this out loud so that T.J. Miller understands that the show does have a time when it has to end. It's time for me to reveal that I'm actually Pete Holmes. time when it has to end. It's time for me to reveal that I'm actually Pete Holmes.

I think he's doing his podcast at three. So if you run over to that tiny room that he's doing his in... Whoa! No, I didn't! Oh no, you did not just go there! Snap! I was just told it was small.

I don't know how small it is. I just know I saw him this morning and he is very confident to walk around with what looks like bed hair. And I might as well say it. He's going to be on the interruption tomorrow night. Yeah, so come to that if you can. You know, I'm actually a little,

I know we have limited time, but we did spend a tremendous amount of time talking about the Transformers movie. And obviously, TJ is not the only actor on stage who has appeared in a major motion picture. It's true. Sean Cullen was in a movie or two. I was in The Love Guru. Yeah, it's true. I was actually talking about a movie that people probably know me from with Christian

Slater and Cooper Gooding Jr. called Lies and Illusions. Anyone? No. Anyone? Raise your hand if you've seen Lies and Illusions. Not one or the other, but both. Are there robots in it? Are there robots in it?

No, and speaking of improvising lines, I was actually sent that script in final draft prior to the movie, and they said, go for it. That was the day before filming.

So you get high and do a little punch up? I really did. Improvised almost every line and no one cared. That was end of budget. We shot it in Spokane. Neat. What's it called? Lies and Illusions. Christian Slater came up

to me and I think he was embarrassed. I played his best friend and he goes Al, this is what we call What's it called? Lies and Illusions. Christian Slater came up to me, and I think he was embarrassed. I played his best friend, and he goes, Al, this is what we call a cash grab. Jesus. It's also what we call Christian Slater's career. Yeah.

I mean, everything he's doing is like, okay, yeah, I'll do that, because I want to keep working, you know? Like he had that TV series where he was really smart about tricking people. Well, he played both parts, right? Huh? He was the bad guy and the good guy. That was another one.

Yeah. That was Do No Harm with Sam Levine, I think. Are you thinking of the Patty Duke show? Where they were identical cousins and they fooled their parents all the time? Yeah, one of them was an evil cousin, though, right? Who murdered people. Yeah.

No, that was the Brady Bunch. Oh, yeah. No, he was right, because in the theme song for Pei Du's show, they say a hot dog makes her lose control. Yeah. And so when she sees one, she murders people. That's true.

That's weird sexual innuendo, too. It's such a weird... It's just weird. A hot dog makes her lose control. I think lots of comics have had reference to that in their act over the years. They're talking about when she's driving. She shouldn't eat a hot dog while you're driving.

Yeah, there's a message in the theme song of the Patty Duke show. Raise your hand if you've ever seen the Patty Duke show. No, we don't see one. One person. I knew I'd make a reference here that could lose 99.9% of the crowd like hand sanitizer. All right, let's play some games. That's the point of this thing at this point.

Yay, yay, yay. We'll start with a quick one just to warm us up a little bit. We're going to determine who gets to go first in the next game by playing this game called How Much Should This Shit Make? And in honor of Comic-Con that's going on this weekend down in San Diego, and I was going to do this at Comic-Con the other night, but I ran out of time, and so I'm going to do it right now. TJ, just go ahead and throw your name tag on the floor.

We remember that it says, yeah, Leanne. Leah. See, that's why I need name tags. That's why the whole thing started. Okay, the movie that we're going to do is, most comic book movies are killing it right now at the box office, but one was considered to be a major critical failure and box office failure, and they're not going to make another one, and it was called The Green Lantern. Green Lantern. how much it made in millions without going over, according to Box Office Mojo, the North American box office

for this movie. And by the way, Green Hornet, just to give you an idea, the Seth Rogen Green Hornet, that made 98 million. Almost got to 100. I don't know why I thought I had to throw that in there.

I'm sorry, and again, first time playing, but are we doing domestic, foreign, combined? What is... I apologize. North American. Okay. Just North American. Yeah, including our Canadian friends.

All right, got it. As I do every week. But how much do you think it made, TJ? $68 million. Okay. Greg? $14.5 million. And not a penny more.

That's $72 million. Or not a loonie more, sorry. $72 says Al? Yes. Okay. So TJ's got a small window now. And he's really fucking you over, TJ. And Sean?

I'm going to say $32 million. Okay. Well, I really did have a reason for throwing in that Green Hornet made $98 million. It was to kind of say that seemed to be kind of a failure and it made $98 million. And Green Lantern was considered a failure at $116.6 million.

Yeah, so Al is our winner of that game. Yay! million. Yeah, so Al is our winner of that game. Yay! Now we're really going to get into it. My friend that threw up the Mike Scully doll with the beard.

It's not Scully. What's his name? Mike Spadowski. It's Mike and Scully. Mike Wazowski. Thank God we don't have to bother the corrections department about that one. A lot of children listen to this podcast and be very upset that I mixed up the names of those stupid monsters. Aw, they're not stupid. They're smart for monsters.

I watched Monsters, Inc. on a plane. The university or just the first one? Oh, university. That's what I meant. Inc. was first on a plane. The university or just the first one? Did he go? Oh, university. That's what I meant. Inc. was first, then university. Inc. was first. What's next?

Monsters Community College. And then Monsters Grade School. Wait, what's happening? We're going all over. It was. Monsters University was a prequel. A prequel. So I guess they could keep going more prequely.

Monster Babies. Monster Rehab. That's right. Monster. Monster Rehab. Monster Reunion Rehab. That's why there was so much time between Monsters Inc. and Monsters

University is because they were all in Monsters Rehab. Monsters Promises out at the beach. Monsters Age of Extinction. Monsters Age of

Distinction. This game is called Last Man Stanton. We're going to take turns naming movies by whoever our friend that brought this doll picks. You need an actor, actress, or director who has a large body of work, has made a lot of movies. Is John Goodman too tough?

John Goodman is a tough one, and I think we've played it before, but I'm willing to do it again if no one opposes the idea. Yeah. Al, name any John Goodman movie. Inside Llewyn Davis. What was it?

Llewyn Davis. Inside Llewyn Davis. Yeah, the latest Coen Brothers. He was in there. In popular what? Well... Do you remember Inside Llewyn Davis? Do you know what Inside Llewyn Davis is?

Yes. I honestly didn't hear what he said. Inside Llewyn Davis. Oh, yeah. No, he went like, Inside Llewyn Davis. No, sorry. He didn't do that because I heard what he said

and I wrote it down. Doug, Doug, to be fair, that's the worst name for a movie of all time Inside Llewyn Davis Yeah, it really sounds like it's a sequel To Being John Malkovich But this time we go into the brain of somebody Nobody's heard of or cares about And has a fake first name

Llewyn? Who is like, hi, I'm Llewyn Through the whole movie he has to kind of Be embarrassed about explaining his first name? Lewin? Who is like, hi, I'm Lewin. Through the whole movie, he has to kind of be embarrassed about explaining his first name. People are like, what? Lewin? Yeah, Lewin. Here's your cat. I'm paraphrasing.

I'm paraphrasing. Sean, what do you got? John Goodman. Oh, brother, where art thou? Wait, what do you got? John Goodman. Oh, brother, where art thou? Wait, what? Oh, brother, where art thou? I see what we're doing here. Let's just knock off all the Coens that he was in.

I'll do Big Lebowski. Barton Fink. Your turn, Greg. The Babe. Yeah. One of the worst sports movies of all time. When John Goodman plays an 18-year-old teenager leaving the industrial school,

and he's 325 pounds, about to go play his first game in the major leagues, you're like, wow. Yeah. Things were different in those days. The Babe, that's the movie where they tell him, that'll do, pig. Things were different in those days.

The Babe, that's the movie where they tell him, that'll do, pig. That'll do you, pig. Shit. I'm hitting the wall already. Oh, it's a hard game. It's not easy. It is, because you think about his TV career. Well, then...

I just saw another one. Did you? Yeah. Oh, and another one. And another one. They just keep coming to me. He's been in a lot of movies. He really has, hasn't he?

Yeah, yeah. Fuck me. I'm so sorry. Don't apologize. Yeah. You're out. Sean, King Ralph. Yeah. That's what I'm so sorry Don't apologize You're out Sean King Ralph Yeah

Explode Alright I'm gonna go with Flight Alright I'm gonna try this one But it might get me out Born Yesterday With Melanie Griffith You better fucking believe it.

Speed Racer. Whoa. Someone was recently... I've had two different people recently tell me Speed Racer is a great movie. And both of them were in Speed Racer. No, I really like the movie. Really?

Yeah. I might have to give it another chance. Is it like 20 minutes too long? Can you admit that? You know what? Again, I'm watching with a fucking nine-year-old at the time, so we were into it. And I was super baked.

I think it's kind of a stupid premise, just Speed Racer. Of course. Stupid premise. Just speed racer. Of course. Why? Are you racing slow?

No, it's speed racing is the only kind of racing as far as I'm aware. It should be named something more descriptive, more innovative, like fast and furious. Yeah. Racer.

Exactly. Fast and furious racer. That's what they should have called it. It would have been a big hit. People get angry when they go at high speed. That's what happens. People get furious. Are you stalling trying to think of another joke?

No, I have one. Monuments men. Oh, yeah. You had three of them, didn't you? I'm going to go with matinee. Yeah. That's the spirit. Greg?

I mean, TJ, sorry. No, you're going to end up going to Greg. Because you got nothing? Yeah, I feel like he had a cameo in... Oh, he definitely did. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. That's my answer.

He's definitely had a cameo. He had a cameo. Was he in The Grand Hotel? The 1930s? Moving on. He wasn't. Greg? Big Lebowski. I said that already.

Oh, true story. Right after Al Madrigal said... He said, Inside M and David. Everyone heard. Inside Moog and David. That's what I thought he said. Inside Moog and David.

I said, Inside Moog and David. It's right to the man. It is kind of hard to hear each other sitting next to each other. Are you guys talking? The sound is going out there more. To be fair, this room holds 300,000 people, and this is the largest event since the Nuremberg Rally,

so the echo in here is fairly substantial in my defense. I didn't hear you say Big Lebowski. My movie of John Goodman is one from the 80s called True Stories by David Byrne. Mm-hmm. Good one. All right. Arachnophobia.

Whoa. Good one Arachnophobia Whoa good one Fuck I will go with Great Blues Brothers 2000 Oh man From the three point line God

Greg You're out? Yeah, Teach is out. Flintstones. Yeah. Now, that might be the greatest movie of all time next to Speed Racer.

And Yogi Berthoud. When you take a cartoon and you make it even funnier with making it live, that is a good idea. Rick Moranis played Barney in that. He was funny. He was funny. He was good.

And what's her name? The fabulous actress who played... What's Happening? Sean Cullen. Yeah, I think I'm stumped. Oh. Oh. What are you going to do?

Was he in Shit Princess? Whistling. Shit Princess? Yeahistling. Shit Princess? No, I made that one up. What was that? Shit Princess. That was the prequel to Snowpiercer. Yeah.

Where you go out in the snow and lay a shit princess. She got nothing, Sean? Sean's got nothing. Okay, I'm out. He's out. This is kind of funny, what I'm about to say. Monst's got nothing. Okay, I'm out. He's out. This is kind of funny, what I'm about to say. Monsters, Inc.

You pulled that one out. I'll see your Monsters, Inc. and I'll raise you with arachnophobia. I just said that. No, he didn't. This is how Greg Proops learned that his hearing

is gone. To be fair, he said it with such conviction you should give him the point. He did sing it. That's probably how he bought his ticket when he saw that movie when it came out. One for arachnophobia! Oh! Oh, I am deaf as a post, man.

You know, it's not that my hearing's gone. It's just that my short-term memory is completely ratched. Do you have another one? You guys said it a second ago. I'm like, that would be a good one. And then, hey, I just thought of something. Do you have another one?

Are you going to let me walk away with this? Oh, no. How about Bewitched? Was he in that? No. I just wanted to say it because it was so shitty. He was in Always and Revenge of the Nerds. And what else you guys got?

Monsters University. Monsters University, obviously. The Campaign. Coyote Ugly. He was the daddy of that sweet little girl. Which one? Argo. Oh.

Argo, fuck all of us. Coyote Ugly was a good one. I'm sorry I didn't remember, though. I think we forgot Argo the last time we played John Goodman. Really? I think so. I saw Coyote Ugly in a movie theater with my wife when it came out. Not the first night.

Who did you see it with? My wife. My wife. My wife. And the whole theater was 11-year-olds. And they were watching the movie spellbound. Coyote Ugly was like Citizen Kane to them. They were so serious about it.

And there was a line in it like, oh, I'm lip-syncing to Blondie. And my wife and I laughed. And the kid behind us turned and went, that's funny like that and i was like jesus christ it was like watching a french art film with a bunch of 11 year olds they were don't you fucking laugh at her aspiration to be a coyote girl i love it you said they were watching it like spellbound and i thought you meant like spellbound the movie which may may not be the movie. Just totally changed stories. I was watching Coyote Ugly, and these children are watching Spellbound.

Let's play the Leonard Maltin game. You love it. Greg gets to go first, because he did last the longest in Last Man Stanton. And then we'll go to... Which way were we going last time? That way And then we'll go to... Which way were we going last time? That way?

That way. So we'll come back the other way. We'll go to TJ. Oh, sweet. Oh. Oh. And TJ gets to pick the first category. Please don't try to look at my phone.

I'm just stretching my back, Doug. I don't want to see that iPhone 4. stretching my back, Doug. I don't want to see that iPhone 4. You're making me feel bad about my phone. Is it really an iPhone 4? I already felt bad enough about your pants.

Hey, I'm in a safari jungle from the waist down. Wow, your pants are tripping. The last place they're going to look for weed on you is in those pants that look like you're covered in weed. Saigon. Shit, I'm still in Saigon. Everybody listening, I have weird pants on.

I wouldn't say weird. The listeners would not have gathered that from what we were saying. My joke was that I was even less descriptive than you guys, so the people at home would be like, oh, he's finally going to clarify exactly what the print on his pants is, but then he said he didn't, and that was the joke.

Would you like And They're Always Glad You Came, which is movies with actors from the TV show Cheers. I've had a totally different concept of what that was going to be. Or Horace

Inkling suggested on Twitter Batman vs. Bateman. And that's movies that have Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck. Yeah, you'd be surprised how many there are. Something's up with those two

and then your third option is the El Duderino category which is movies that are seven words or the title is seven words or more you know if you're not into the whole brevity thing which one of those would you like to play TJ

I think seven words or more although TJ come on what the fuck what do you want it to be play, T.J.? I think seven words or more, although... T.J., come on. What the fuck? What do you want it to be? I'll do whatever you want. I'm still going to lose. Let's do the cheers. No, the cheers is easy.

I can't hear a goddamn word you're saying. See? It's not just me. He was making fun of you when he did that. You know what? Honestly, it's like being told a secret by a butterfly. It's so... Everyone can hear.

There's no diction. There's no emphasis on anything. It's like sharing a confidence with a beetle. You know what I mean? Like, what are you saying? It's I, Moke, and David. What? And then...

Whatever. I can't. I'm going to do... I'll actually then do Bateman versus Batman. Okay. I think there's one that I know, but just one. And I can't remember the name of it, so... It's perfect.

Let me help you out. It was... These pants are weird. The one you're trying to think of is, uh, extract. No. Oh, really? Ah, but you burned that one. This one is from 2007.

One and a half stars. Wait a second. Why did I let you pick? I don't know. I don't know why you don't, when you start the game, ask me to leave the stage because I have never won. I don't know why you don't when you start the game ask me to leave the stage. Because I have never won. I don't understand why you play it. Your fans are rabid for people that are good at it. I already did my part of talking too much

throughout the podcast about a terrible movie that I was barely in. But you helped make them terrible. What do you mean barely? If that movie was a regular length, you would have been in half of it. Okay, sorry, about that. You were supposed to go first. I'll choose the one with seven words or more.

Oh, okay. Yeah, that was my turn. Eat it, Al. Eat it. I'll just walk away. Eat it like you eat your words. Greg, this movie... Just dropped you a shit princess right there, Al.

This movie with seven titles or more in the words. Got two and a half stars from Mr. Malton. And the year is 1967. Yeah. Leonard says about this movie that it has an impressive cast that tries to sustain the comedy. That doesn't sound like they succeeded when he says they tried to sustain the comedy.

And then he also says it's based on a play. And he lists seven names. How many names can you get it in, Greg Proops? Seven. I'm sticking with this fortuitous number. Alright, and so then now we go to TJ.

Name that movie. Alright. Sorry, did I say that clearly enough? Mogan David. All right, well, if there's anybody on this panel that could name this, I would say Greg might be the one, and we'll see if he comes up with it.

The seven names are Cyril Delavante, the great Cyril Delavante, Lionel Jeffries, Jonathan Winters, Hugh Griffith, Barbara Harris, Robert Morse, and Rosalind Russell. Seven words or more, Greg, from 1967.

Comedy, impressive cast, as you just heard. And they try. They try to sustain the comedy. Rod Steiger's not in it. And it's based on a play. It's based on a play. If you say this title, the room is going to go nuts. Is it,

Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mom's Hung You in the Closet and I Feel So Bad? That's it! Oh! That's amazing. Boom! Is it really? Oh my god. Holy shit!

Proops is churning the butter. Amazing. Adrian, looking good. Smartest man in the world. But it's feeling so bad, so I can't give you the point because the actual title is feeling so sad. You're right, I I can't give you the point because the actual title is feeling so sad. And you said bad.

You're right. I did. Yeah. So TJ gets the point. I don't even want the point. I don't want the point. Give it to Greg. It's not fair.

No, I'm going to make you take it. I got it wrong. It's not. It was impressive that you got that close. Everybody loved it. Holy shit. And then turns out you were wrong. Out of charm, tragedy. This is like riding the snow pier close. Everybody loved it. Holy shit. And then turns out you were wrong. Out of triumph, tragedy.

This is like riding the snowpiercer. It really is. Did I shit Princess the Bird that time? There's a pee at the very bottom of all the bad stuff. All right, Sean, we're going to start with you and head over to Al. And you get to pick the first category. Celebrating a birthday today, Joey from Friends, Matt LeBlanc,

and he's been in some movies. You're kidding. So the films of Matt LeBlanc. Wow. Or Yolo Virus, which is a movie where an actor who played James Bond dies. So it's, you know all the James Bonds over the years. One of them dies in a movie where an actor who played James Bond dies. So it's, you know all the James Bonds over the years. One of them dies in a movie.

And Penny Dreadful, which of course is Penny Marshall movies that Leonard gave two stars or less. Which one of those would you like to play, Sean? I think Yolo Virus. Yolo. I know you love the James Bond films. This particular James Bond dies in it movie

is from 1987. Four stars from Leonard for this movie. He calls it high energy entertainment. He also says that the end of the movie, or there's a section of this movie that will have you on the edge of your seat. Exclamation point.

Like, Leonard doesn't bust out exclamation points hardly ever. And then he lists nine names. Apologies. nine names. Apologies, ten names. How many names can you get it in, Sean? I'm going to go eight. Eight's a smart opening bid. Yeah, I'll try it in seven.

Okay, Greg? I'll go six. Oh, here's TJ again. How did that happen? Did I go the same order again? How did that happen? Did I go the same order again? I can do it in the form of saying name that movie.

This is going to make me so happy if TJ wins today. Ironically, it will make me very sad. After your speech about how hard it is for you to win. But I think Greg's going to pull this one out. You get six names, Greg? Sure. Okay. Ironically, it will make me very sad. After your speech about how hard it is for you to win. But I think Greg's going to pull this one out. You get six names, Greg? Sure.

Okay. And yeah, I'm excited for you on this one. I really think you're going to do it. Which six names are Patricia Clarkson, Billy Drago, Brad Sullivan, Jack Kehoe, Richard Bradford, and Robert De Niro. Yeah. From 87, and someone

who played Bond dies in this movie. Someone who played James Bond dies in this movie from 87 where De Niro probably one of the I don't think he's lowly billed very often.

Yeah, right. He's usually top two probably. 87. It's not the Robert De Niro. It's D-I-N-E-R-O. It can't be a different Robert De Niro. SAG doesn't allow that.

Well, maybe a D-I-N-E-R-O. Oh, yeah. It's true. I should get into the spellings of all the names. Well, you ought to, because when Greg didn't do one letter, you didn't give him the point. Never mind. It really was the difference of one letter.

My guess is it isn't Roger Moore or Timothy Dalton that dies in this. It really was the difference of one letter. My guess is it isn't Roger Moore or Timothy Dalton that dies in this, and Daniel Craig wouldn't have been in it. So I'm guessing that Sean Connery dies in this movie, and if I could have longer to think about it and a Google map in front of me, I would get the answer to this. Google map.

Robert De Niro, 87. Shitballs. Yeah. High energy entertainment. What's the one where he's in the bloody jungle? All right. I really thought you'd pull this one. I was so excited.

I know. TJ knows this one too. Oh, I know this one. I was so excited. I know. TJ knows this one too. Oh, I know this one. I don't know. Shit. I got nothing. How about I can't think of a movie where Sean Connery dies. The Rock? What do you do if somebody pulls a knife, what do you do?

Oh, fuck the Untouchables. Yeah, it's the Untouchables. TJ's our winner, you guys. TJ Miller pulls it out. This is terrifying. He does die in that one. I'm so uncomfortable. I was going to say to live and let die, but no.

Yeah, that would have been wrong if the answer was live and let die. James Bond dies in live and let die. How do I close it out? This has never happened. You don't have to do anything. Just sit there. I should have got that one then. But Leah gets the prize bag.

Come collect your prizes, Leah. Leah! We did it. You literally had the worst guest on Doug Loves Movies and also the one who loses the most. Say goodbye, fellas. Running bear and little green black beard. Wow, he looked up just in time to catch it.

Here, this, I don't want to put it in the bag because it'll fall right through it. It's heavy. It's a beautiful, beautiful sculpture. My father's hands were all over that. Enjoy the facial sprays. Thank you. She might want to spray off right now to that exciting competition.

Now, Sean Cullen has kind of a gift because no matter what movie title you throw at him, he knows the theme song to every motion picture. It's crazy. So I would like just to rub in that Greg didn't know the answer, how did the theme song for The Untouchables go? Look out behind you

eating your dinner feeling satisfied and safe and secure Oh no, a bat Feeling satisfied and safe and secure. Oh, no, a bat is hitting your place where you should put a hat. I think you're going to die face down in your food as the blood spreads out across the lid and tablecloth. Untouchables, untouchables.

You thought you were untouchable, but you got touched with the great big bat Enjoy eternal sleep Wow. I love those days. Like back in the 80s, the theme songs to movies told you about key scenes right there in the theme song. It was fun to know what was going to happen. Wets your appetite.

Kind of like the Mission Impossible movies show you really fast everything that's going to happen in the opening. Al Madrigal, would you like to sing? Actually, I don't think I would get to sing. Greg, what did he say? Al said he'd adore to

sing, and he's got an improvised song that he's going to do that rhymes every other line and is hilarious. Go on, Al. I think he also said he was going to do an iambic pentameter, right? Yeah, exactly. Are you guys talking? I can't hear anything. I accidentally kept one of your spray things. I got to give her all the prizes.

There you go. I don't know where the lid went, though. Oh, here it is. This guy's got it. Thanks, dude. This is the kind of crowd. It's so great. I just got into town

and I already scored a lid. Drug joke. Does anybody ever say lid anymore? No, that's what I mean. That was up in smoke. That's some old school shit right there. That reference was awesome. It was a neat reference.

How did the theme song, Sean, from Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mamas, Hung You in the Closet, I'm Feeling So Sad, how did that go? Why can't I get this door closed? Something seems to block the frame I open the door and oh my lord daddy's

dead what a shame oh my god any movie he knows Any movie He knows the theme song From every movie Al do you have any plugs before we go today My show's at 7.30

Tonight and tomorrow I'd love people to come by Love it Check out he's going to be at the The Mumbles Amphitheater. Yeah. And the sound there is really crisp. And you're doing a stand-up where?

Where's the show at? The Underworld. Underworld, okay. Pass it. Underground. A pile of hybrid needles. No, it's three stories up. And then watch him on About a Boy.

He'll be back in the fall on NBC. That's right, October 14th. What's it about? October 14th, just in time for people to start whipping up their About a Boy Halloween costumes. Yeah, that's right. Just like all your favorite About a Boy characters. Exactly.

At Subway, they have an About a Boy kids meal. You get a bag of all the characters on it. It's incredible. How's the theme song for About a Boy go? How does that go? I forgot. What is this all about?

What is it all about? I want to scream and shout, This show's about a boy That's it. Fucking incredible. I almost fell over laughing. It almost happened. Greg Proops is doing Smartest Man in the World podcast

here at the festival. Yeah. Tomorrow at 3.15. You can also, if you're in Los Angeles, within the sound of my voice. When does this plop, Doug? Should be out tomorrow. Awesome. Then Monday, I'll be showing Bull Durham at the CineFamily at 7.30, where Doug has his

movie show as well. Yeah, Greg Proops Film Club at CineFamily. At the CineFamily. CineFamily.org. Perfect summertime movie. Yeah. So if you'reineFamily. CineFamily.org. Perfect summertime meeting. Yeah. So if you're in LA, Monday? That's Monday.

Monday. And TJ's feverishly going through his phone right now. You can watch my podcast, Cashing In with TJ Miller. Just listen to it. You can just watch it. No, you can watch the little thing on the iTunes slowly go across till it's over. You can see me in Transformers 4.

I'm on Silicon Valley on HBO. I didn't know you were in that. Neither did I. I have a show at the San Diego Comedy Company. The American Comedy Company on Wednesday, July 30th. San Diego? It's a nice club.

It's a very nice club. This playoffs when? Tomorrow? Tonight at 11.30pm I have a show that you guys can all come to that's part of the festival. Please come and see that. You can find my tour dates on my website TJMillerDoesNotHaveAWebsite.com

or on Twitter at NotTJMiller. does not have a website.com or on Twitter at not TJ Miller. Where, where may we purchase your parents? Off of me right now, buddy. I'll sell the pants right off my dick. Who wants to buy TJ's pants?

This gentleman wants to bid. How much? Three bucks. No, he said 20 bucks. She says 10. This is a terrible auction. I am terrible at this. These cost so much. I hear 10. I hear a quarter. I hear $4.

I hear... How much did you say? 20. That guy said 20. You said the same thing that guy said. 25? Are you willing to go higher? I didn't agree. He's done. He's done. He's fucking got 20. Now, is this Canadian or American?

25, she says. 30, she says. I'm the worst auctioneer ever. I didn't agree to this. 30, 25, we have over here. What size these are? They're too big for your britches. $30.25 was bid over here.

$30.25. Sold. $40. She's going $40. Sorry, sir. There's a $40 over here. I didn't agree to this. And I won the game. This is my prize. I have to walk back to my hotel

room in my underwear, meeting people from the industry the entire way. Hey, dude, I said, where can I buy your pants, not can I buy your pants? And you're like, we can get them off me right off my dick now. And I think everybody wants to see that. And it's $40, which is more than you got paid

for Transformers. That's true. I made minimum wage on Transformers. Sag minimum. Everyone did it for minimum wage. Where's this person? I need you to write down a shithead for me to say, because you did not win today. You didn't even write down a shithead.

I like that you said to me, do you have a pen? You were going to win. Yeah, I got a pen. I got this worked out. While she's signing the Rocky name tag, Sean, how did the theme song for Rocky III go? Hmm. Oh, it's fun to punch and it's fun to get punched,

but let's go overseas and find a giant robot man to bring me to my knees. Okay, that's Rocky knees. Hey, that's Rocky IV. What's Rocky III? Oh, Clubber Lang. I'm sorry that I finally stumped you. I pity the fool who's fighting me.

I'm the guy called Mr. T. I've got gold and I've got bling and punching people is my thing. Burgess Meredith's dead. Oh, spoiler. They spoil that in the theme song.

I know. Oh, because he died in two? Or he died in three? He died in three. Clubber Lang pushed him over. Oh, fucking Clubber Lang. Dick. What do you got to plug, Sean? Sean Pod, your podcast. I do my podcast on iTunes and I've got a new book coming out

in spring called Dreamland, and none of you would really want to read it, I imagine. It's a kids' book? It's a children's, like, you know, they call it young adult, but it sounds like porn for, you know, tweens, which isn't really right.

Whenever I see it written out YA, I just go, Yay! And then Match Game is still going on, which isn't really right. Whenever I see it written out YA, I just go, yay! Yeah! And then Match Game is still going on, which people seem to enjoy or not. I'm sure you're so funny on that Match Game program. Get down in your seat! Lisa needs to write a name

on the back of Shithead. Oh, you didn't put a Shithead on here? That's her name. Oh, it's just her name. I was going to call you a Shithead. Oh, you didn't put a Shithead on here? That's her name. Oh, it's just her name. I was going to call you a Shithead. Okay, go ahead and write one on there. I really was confused. Why did she put her own name on it?

It's okay. I was going to do it, but self-love is the hardest love. Traitor. I'm going to be doing another Douglas moviesies in Madison, Wisconsin on August 3rd and DouglasMovies.com is where you go for all of my dates. Thank you guys so much. This was so much fun.

One more big round of applause for all of my guests, Sean Cullen, Al Madrigal, Al Mumbles Madrigal. Greg Proops and TJ. TJ, I won't sell my pants to anybody. Miller, you could have got 40 bucks for those things. How much did you pay for them?

They were $350. Oh, okay. These are real leaves that they've woven into the fabric It's like real estate You gotta be careful in Canada You could be attacked by a beaver when they see those pants, man They're like, this is my natural habitat I must gnaw your ankles until I fell you

You and your fucking logging references I love it! And yeah, come. I hope to see some of you guys tomorrow night at the interruption show. Some of these guys up here might be there, too. And, as always... Where do I begin?

Stephen Harper is a shithead? Yay! Shit. I had a feeling begin. Stephen Harper is a shithead? Yay! Shit. I had a feeling I should have closed with that one. Is he a politician

you don't enjoy? He's the prime minister. Crack a fucking newspaper, Doug. That's how I just exonerated myself for getting in trouble for that one.

I don't even know his name. Doug hates info. myself for getting in trouble for that one. I don't even know his name. Dog hate info. Why did you guys clap for that? He's disliked? He's the worst. He's the head of the Canadian National Socialist Party. People don't realize that.

Am I going to get in trouble? What about Bloc Québécois? You have no interest in that, then. I don't think you're getting in trouble. I think Canada doesn't have a totalitarian government. They just... You'd be surprised how mad Canada can get at you.

We're working on it. You'd be surprised. We're working on it. Alright. Which one do you think I should finish with here, TJ? Between this one? Yeah, that one. Okay. But that one's pretty good, too, though. That's a really good one. It's really up to you. It's your show.

Every time I give you unwarranted advice, you get fucking pissed. And now you want me to figure out the closer at the largest comedy festival in the world. And if you'd had any information... This closer is so important. This better kill. You better pick right. And if you'd had any information... This closer is so important. This better kill.

You better pick right. And if you get one letter wrong, you lose. I think I got this. Sad dad is a shithead. Good one. And Michael Bay is a shithead. Treason! Traitors! Treason Traitors

Treason Now it's time for Doug To watch another Talkie Eyes of gold His viewing prowess Makes him cocky There's no room

In his heart For you Cause Doug Loves Movies