Doug Loves Movies - T.J. Miller, Dan Telfer, and Pat Francis Guest

Episode Date: November 10, 2011

Doug welcomes comedians T.J. Miller, Dan Telfer, and Pat Francis to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug Loves Movies! Hey everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies. Hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles, California, before Comedy Bang Bang,

formerly Comedy Death Ray, formerly Not A Thing. It's Tuesday, November 8th, 2 Oceans 11. I see that the clock that they have at UCB is actually on the correct time, so that's exciting. It's always been like five minutes fast, and I never understood why you'd have a clock near a stage if it wasn't telling you the accurate time. And I'm excited that it's accurate. I had a great time celebrating the 20th anniversary of Acme Comedy Club in the state of Minneapolis.

of Acme Comedy Club in the state of Minneapolis. And thanks to everyone who paid two bucks to listen to that particular boner ep, if you have already. It's not out as of my talking right now,

but it will be out by the time this plops on Friday, I hope. It's in the comedy album section of iTunes and, of course, at douglasmovies.com. Apologies for the sound problems on that

episode. I'll try not to let that happen again in upcoming eps that we tape on the road. Shows that are coming up are in Austin, Texas, Burbank, California, on a boat, and

Sacramento. And more after that, like Vancouver. Like it, I love it. Flying back from Minnesota, the in-flight movie was Rise of the Planet, on which the apes decide to rise up to take over the planet. But I didn't watch it. Yeah, I didn't watch it because

I want to see it for the first time, with bright eyes eyes if you will when I see it at the next Benson movie interruption here in Los Angeles at CineFamily on Monday November 28th you know I'm gonna ask Lithgow to come

he might forget because as I understand it he has Alzheimer's in the rise of the planet of people with the Brain Problems. So go to cinefamily.org for your tickets for that. Now it's time for Watch This, Not That,

a guide for people who have only time enough to see one movie. The number one film in the country is Puss in Boots for the second week in a row, which means it's gotta be pretty good, right? I haven't seen it yet. Because I'm allergic to cats and leather.

The number two movie is Tower Heist, a great movie to watch if you're suffering from insomnia, because you can count the plot holes until you fall asleep. And congratulations to Brett Ratner for unproducing the Academy Awards. I'm very happy that he's not going to be involved.

And, oh, so watch Puss in Boots, not Tower Heist. This has been Watch This, Not That. The prize bag tonight, holy crap, the prize bag, it's so amazing. It almost didn't fit in my bag, this thing. Somebody brought some popcorn in a bottle, and then a big bong-like thing. It looks like a coffee pot to make the popcorn in, and it's called Axis Ideas That Pop,

and they got these bags, and they're... Oh, Jesus. That was close. How funny were funny were they oh it's plastic we've also got as you have grown accustomed to lately uh the the weezer cd hurley signed by all all four members of the band a weezer poster and a Weezer t-shirt, and then I have a couple of CDs from a couple of my guests who will be out here in a second, and that will reveal who they are. Please welcome Dan Telfer, Pat Francis, and T.J. Miller.

Yeah! I'm the worst. Dan Telfer, your CD is called Dan Telfer Fossil Record. Yeah! His CD is called Dan Telfer Rooting Around in a Bag. I do 15 minutes on Rooting Around in a Bag. I do 15 minutes on Rooting Around

in a Bag where I don't tell jokes about Rooting Around in a Bag. I just do it on stage for a CD. That's fair. It's called Rooting Around. Now Dan, you're visiting from the state of Chicago. Yep. Where all of my guests tonight are from. I'm in the state of Denver. Yep. Where all of my guests tonight are from.

I'm in the state of Denver. Did you... You spent some time in Chicago, though. That's where we met. Did you see a movie on the plane on your way out to Delphi? I did. I saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes for the first time. Oh, that's the official title? It's fucking awesome!

You loved it? It was great. It was amazing. I loved the fuck out of it. Wow. That's a reigning endorsement. Yeah, why did you wait? great. It was amazing. I loved the fuck out of it. Why? Wow. That's a reigning endorsement. Yeah, why did you wait? There was fucking, and then I loved it so much it was edited out. Why did you wait for a long flight to see it?

The children? Yeah, I have two children, so it's difficult to get out and see first-run stuff. It has to end up on Netflix Instant Watch eventually. But it was great anyway, even though it was on a shitty little old school tube television on the roof of the plane yeah i i get very aggravated when i look around the plane and every single uh every single screen is a different color yeah they're all they don't sync up at all it's like being in the shittiest tv store looking around going why are all these tvs why shouldn't TV just

be like, this is what it looks like? I know, it's like a humane society where it's like, please adopt one of these televisions. They all have three legs. I was on a plane and I saw a woman just looking at a monitor. She was awake, had her headphones in, and was just staring at a monitor that said, please select

another channel. Just straight up for like probably 15 minutes and I was like what is wrong with this woman so I found the channel what do I have to do and then and I had my earphones in and the channel was a very faint showing of inside the actor's studio with Jennifer Aniston and I was like what the fuck is this? Oh, wow, really? Well, what happened when you did Just Go With It? And I got sucked into it,

and I watched a very faint version of Inside the Actors Studio with Jennifer Aniston with an overlay that said, please select another channel. So that's where I'm at in terms of my... I watched that with the sound off and it was great. Are you interrupting me? Is that the show? Did you interrupt me?

No. You haven't even... Is this a different show? You can... I was just about to see right at the top of the page. It says Pat Francis. Oh, okay. I just wanted to make sure...

A frequent guest on Never Not Funny podcast. Okay, thank you. Right? Right. Has his own podcast. Right. Called Rock Solid. Rock Solid.

It's about foul movements. It's about Night Ranger and Loverboy. It's about a great foul movement. Yeah. Rock Solid. No, it's about music. Oh, music? Yeah.

You said Night Ranger. You're right. You're right, Ranger. You're right. Have you stated on that show your favorite all-time band? Yes. And it is? Oh, here, I'll show you.

What? Actually, I can show you. You brought them? Yeah, it's Cheap Trick. Oh, and it's on your phone. That's your default on your iPhone. It's Cheap Trick. In the Cheap Trick logo.

Too young. No one knows? Too young? Thanks. I'm sorry, it's Weezer. I do like... All right one knows too young thanks those guys i'm sorry it's weezer i do like all right still too young i i uh i do like the uh cheap trick quite a bit thank you yeah i like those guys thank you yeah good good work and pleasure to be here what's your you're now you so you're from chicago you're not gonna well i'm originally from pennsylvania oh jesus

i lived in chicago for six years all right well i asked around and they said you were from Chicago. You're not going to change it up. Well, I'm originally from Pennsylvania. Oh, Jesus. But I lived in Chicago for six years. All right. Well, that's why. I asked around and they said you were from Chicago. I'm from Chicago. I decided to make it a theme show because Dan, of course, is from Chicago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You mean originally?

Yeah. I'm from Chicago. Thanks for a yes ending on that one. You're welcome. I totally appreciate it. But what's your favorite movie that's, you know, lots of movies

take place in Chicago. Do you have a favorite one? My favorite movie that takes place in Chicago. Okay, let's move on to T.J. Miller. You've already spoken a lot and yet this is the first time

I've addressed you directly. And I feel bad for that. Don't feel bad. Look, I wrote down that exact sentence because I knew that's exactly what would happen. Oh, my God. Shut the fuck up. He did.

He did. He really did. It's so frustrating because I get scared when people don't seem to be enjoying it, and then I try and make jokes, and people laugh, and I'm like, that's a good thing. But that wasn't... I cheated because I knew if I talked to the other guys first,

you'd have to say something. You can't... You're not going to sit there with a microphone in your hand and not say anything. I'm scared. I'll do one where I don't say anything. But I wrote, you so funny. You so funny. You so funny, I can't even. In my idiot brother.

I loved you in that. You're so good in that. But you so nice. Is that on? Thank you very times. Thank you very many so times. You that on? Thank you very times. Thank you very many so times. You so funny too.

Is that out on Blu-ray or DVD or anything yet? No. I think it's mid November, like November 15th or something. It'll be out on DVD. Alright. We'll have you back. Wait, what's today? Today's November 8th. That's like one week away. Yeah, it's really soon.

Can you come back next, what's today? Today's November 8th. That's like one week away. Yeah, it's really soon. I'm more, I have, yeah. Yeah, so. I have a Comedy Central. Can you come back next week to plug it? Yeah. No, I'm going to do a Comedy Central

hour special on November 12th. And that DVD comes out on the 15th. So you can buy No Real Reason my hour Comedy Central special on the 15th.

And My Idiot Brother. And you can buy My Idiot Brother. You can just go on a fucking shopping sp my idiot brother. And you can buy my idiot brother. Just go on a fucking shopping spree. If you're at a Blockbuster and you're like, A, how does this still exist? And B, I need to see a lot of T.J. Miller. He's not obnoxious enough on this podcast.

Then buy them both. November 15th. Are you afraid that it's going to split the sales, both of them coming out at the same time? It might, yeah. Because there's about 12 people in the United States that will buy stuff I've done. That's true.

And then six of them will go one way. And that's six to the one way, half a dozen to your mother. Would it be rude of me to suggest that people just tape the TV special from television and then not buy the... Oh, that's a good idea. And then put all your money on Idiot Brother. Is that rude to point that out?

No, that's all good, man. I mean, sometimes you just do it because you love people. That's right. Well, you're telling them to tape it, too, like use a VHS machine and not use their DVRs or something like that. Just VHS machine. That's what they're called, right? Hey, do you guys have time machines? Because go back and use your VHS machine. Yeah, what they're called, right? Hey, do you guys have time machines? Because go back and use your VHS machine.

Yeah, and listen to Cheap Trick. Yeah. I have a VHS DVD combo, and I bring Blu-rays home and just hold it near it, and they quietly get mad at each other. They make the woman from Weird Science. Kelly LeBrock. Boom, there it is. TJ Miller, the extended play EP.

Fucking awesome. How many tracks? One of the most confusing things ever put out in the marketplace. I will agree with that. I think that's the best way it's ever been put. Your track on the CD is one of the most confusing tracks on the CD also. One of most confusing tracks on the CD also. One of the funniest things on the CD is Doug leaving a voicemail.

Yeah, we've talked about that before. And people can purchase it and listen to it. Let's see which number I am on here. It's too hard to find. Because there's 41 tracks on here. I bought this on iTunes, and I bought it track by track. It cost me about $43. Yes.

It's bad with sales tax. Yeah, that doesn't seem fair at all. Not only is it not fair, it's stupid that you did it. Well, you know, I bought like two tracks. I'm like, wow, I like those. And then I bought a couple more. I'm like, well, I might like this whole thing. But I wasn't sure.

So eventually, I bought all 40 tracks. Once you're in the 30s, though, it's your own fault. It is. You're right. You know what I'm saying? When you hit 34, you need to look in the mirror. That's true. That's what I found, because I bought every single track individually. So stupid. Because I make a little bread up. Mine's a bargain by comparison.

Potty Mouth's still available. Only 13 tracks. Oh, I wouldn't buy that, though. Also, it's in a paper case, so it's not all spiderweb, like the one that was apparently trapped under T.J. Miller's bottom on the drive over here. I thought of a song for you to sing, though, when you were purchasing T.J.'s album.

Okay. Yeah, like a work song. Okay. Just for me or for everyone? 41 tracks, what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt. 43 bucks.

So, have you been to the cinema lately, T.J. Miller, when you're so busy making tracks? Yeah, no, I haven't. You're either trying to stop a train or making tracks. Half the tracks are T.J. saying,

I'm either in the studio or watching Childish Gambino. It's one or the other. So yeah, I haven't been to the cinema in a little while. That's been frustrating. But yeah, I saw some stuff on the thing. You live quite adjacent to one of the best movie show places. I'm not going to say where you live in El Segundo, but you're right.

You're so close to the Magic Johnson theaters. Is it still called that? I don't think it's called that anymore. So have you seen a... You know what I did see on video again that I love video? We're really back in the day. You know what I saw on the old projector wheel was

Dark Crystal. You guys seen that recently? Oh, yeah. First of all, two things about it. One, it's an incredible film. It's so fun and weird to watch. And crazy that Hanson was like, well, I guess I'll do this now that I can do anything. This is what I'll do.

And then also, when I was younger, I watched and I was like, oh my God, this puppetry is, it should be called magic tree. It's unbelievable. And now when you watch, you're like, hide the strings, Gelfand.

You could see strings in it? Well, it just looks, it doesn't look as impressive, which is kind of too bad. But it makes it funnier, for sure. Because it used to be scary.

Were you guys ever scared by the Gelfand? Oh, the Skeksis are scary as nuts. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The Skeksis are scariest as nuts.

They are. Well, like withered, like exposed muscle tissue nuts. But yeah, pretty fucking.is are scariest as nuts. They are. Well, like withered, like exposed muscle tissue nuts. But yeah, pretty fucking... It's terrifying. Yeah. That's what I saw recently.

Withered what? Exposed muscle tissue. They look like they have no skin. I don't remember the Skeksis well enough to... They're fucked up bird dudes. Yeah. Let me break it down for you. Are they slea stack ripoffs?

No, no, no, no, no, no. They have like bird heads and weird like old man bodies. What do they do to people? They just sit in a tower and argue. It's like a GOP debate. It's kind of shitty. But it is. It's so horrifyingly boring.

Their arguments. And Jennifer Connelly is the girl in it? That's Labyrinth. Oh, shit. That's a David Bowie. At one point. And that's David Bowie. There are Muppets. Doc Crystal doesn't have the girl in it? That's Labyrinth. Oh, shit. That's a David Bowie. And that's David Bowie. Doc Crystal doesn't have any people in it? It's just all puppets?

I think so, yeah. It's primarily puppets. There's Elfie-type people. Wait, wait, wait. When you say primarily, my question is, does it have any people in it? No. I guess it's porously puppeted. But are there any people in it?

Are there any people in it? It's pretty puppety. One person? No persons, just puppets. Pretty puppety. There's person puppets. Person puppets. Yeah, yeah.

There is? Oh, there's puppets of people. No, but there's puppets operated by people, which I call person puppets. Oh, okay. Please. Person. Like, I. Please. Person. Like, I'm already so confused by the new Muppet movie already,

because Jason Segel's best friend is a Muppet, but they sit and watch TV hoping they can meet the Muppets. So I'm already like, fuck this. Fuck this. I love that. I'm going to wait for Sarah Silverman's cameo and then leave. She says she's in it for like five seconds and she's in the TV commercials. They play it up.

They show that one shot of her that's just going, hey, I'm in this. I'm in this. I made an immense amount of money. What about you, Pat Francis? Same thing with the kids make it hard to see the movies? Well, no, not if you want to see Puss in Boots. I do want to see it. I saw it. If it's number one or two for three weeksuss in Boots. I do want to see it. I saw it.

If it's number one or two for three weeks, I pledge to the audience that I will see it and weigh in on my opinion of it. It's Zach Galifianakis' Humpty Dumpty. Yeah, that's good. You guys know Humpty Dumpty? That gives it some street cred. Anyone ever hear of Humpty Dumpty? No? Okay. Humpty Dumpty had a dumb face, fell off a wall, broke all over the place. Right, that guy.

Don't say face twice. Don't say face twice. My favorite thing about seeing movies with my seven-year-old is after every preview, she turns to me and she'll say, I want to see that movie. And I'll say, okay. And then she'll say, can we buy it? And I'll say, yes, if we like it, we'll buy it. On DVD.

Yes, on DVD. She's really planning ahead. Radiations. Yeah. Why don't you just go straight to DVD with her? Just make her think they all are on DVD. Because she likes to enjoy something on the big screen, Doug. She's really old-fashioned.

She is. Doesn't seem cost-effective is what he's saying. Old-fashioned seven-year-old. I figure if I can buy those 42 tracks for 42 bucks, I've got to take my kid to the Puss in Boots. I'll pay for your next tickets, too. Thank you. To whatever animated film you want.

Thanks. Let's get a weird rebate going. If you bought... How many times have you been in a party and heard that? Let's get a weird rebate going. Next thing you know, you owe $15,000 to Best Buy. And you fucked a plasma screen television.

That's how I ended that riff. That was it? Yeah. Not as good an orifice as a VHS machine. For proof of that, see Videodrome. I'm going to steal that for my stand-up, though. And that's the end

of that joke. And then go on to the next one. That'd be fun. At the end of every one. Yeah. You can pull it off. And then we do say

and here comes another joke. Yeah. Time for the next one. Shall we play a game? Sure. Let's play the Leonard Maltin game you guys. Alright.

You've all been on the show before. You know what to do. Let's see your name tags, everybody. There's a guy with a game controller that he wrote Max on. Yeah. Tara has some sort of video game. Call of Duty.

Yeah, that's some sort of video game. Rhoda has an interesting song. Oh, you both have the same. It's like that's the school logo or something. Hogwarts. All right. Jordan's back with the boxing glove. Okay, guys, you remember what I said backstage when I said it's time to pick a name tag?

Go out and grab one right away and bring it back to your seat. I don't know how I can explain things more to people. What? I'm picking it. I want this guy with this thing. You want that guy with that thing? Jake. Get that guy with that thing.

There's a guy with a to-go container, so he obviously had a meal and then wrote his name with this thing. You want that guy with that thing? Jake. Get that guy with that thing. There's a guy with a to-go container, so he obviously had a meal and then wrote his name on a thing. There's a cupcake in here. Oh, there's a cupcake in there. Yeah, go get it from him. Oh, because he could throw it. That's right.

Thank you. Jake, you. It says Jake in the middle of that crazy... What are these things called? Orb expanders. No wonder you picked it. You know that they're called orb expanders. Listeners at home, it's an orbit expander.

That's not the name of it. I made that up. And Pat picked a Batman that says Matt on it. So it's Matt Man. Oh, you're really going to eat that out of his neck? I don't know what it was. That might be some ecstasy. I think I just did X.

Does it come like that? I heard that's the twist in the Dark Knight Rises. Candy comes out of his neck. He's been a Pez machine for many movies. That's why his throat's all fucked up when he talks. He's got Pez in his fucking larynx.

I'm not a cherry pez in my mouth. And I'm stopping crime. Who are you? Who are you? I'm stopping crime. Who are you? Who are you? I'm in a three-pack with Yoda and Darth Vader. It's really uncomfortable around Darth. I sit on windowsills while someone's learning to creep on people's girlfriends. Learning to creep.

Don. That's Tron, right? Don made a Tron sign. Don made a Tron. It lights up. I think the name tag I've seen, and I've seen some goodies, but this is fucking awesome.

What is it? I think you guys all did a great job. He made a shadow box. He painted a box black and then put a light inside of it and then cut out his name Don in the Tron font and then lit it up from behind

in blue. And then he cashed his unemployment check. Bravo, Don. But with spending that much time, you know you fucked the O in your name. Oh, that's true because he had to suspend the dot in the O so there was a big hole there for a while. He could put his dick in.

Yeah. If you're suspending a small black circle in the middle of the O in your name, you're definitely going to put your dick in that. Who doesn't see a black circle and think, dick up. This is actually more fun to watch than Tron Legacy, to be honest, the sign. Yeah, that sign is more fun,

except for he didn't put Olivia Wilde on that sign. Oh, for Olivia Wilde. She's pretty cute in that. She is. She's cute in everything. This O was Olivia Wilde for a little while for that song. Oh, for Olivia Wilde. She's pretty cute in that. She is. She's cute in everything. This O was Olivia Wilde for a little while for that guy. Yay, Dan.

Thank you, Dan. There's the joke. And here's a mother. Pat's probably the fuzziest on the rules. Dan is probably the most clear, so we'll start with Dan and work our way to TJ and then Pat. Dan, you get to pick a category in your attempts to win this wonderful prize bag for Don. Can't wait.

I'm going to try my hardest. That's your pledge to Zach. TJ, you're going to try hard. Jake. What do I call him, Jack? Zach. Zach? What's his name?

All right, you're playing for Jack-Zach. And you get to pick a category. Dan. Dan gets to pick for Don. Would you like a movie where Weezer's on the soundtrack? Yeah, that's a few movies. Weezercruise.com. Would you like suggestedgested by a gentleman I think it's a gentleman named Gloshi

At Gloshi, he suggested Inspect Her Gadget Which is movies that feature a gynecologist Or Or it's Parker Posey's birthday today On November 8th So would you like Movies that feature Parker Posey's birthday today on November 8th, so would you like movies to feature Parker Posey? Which one of those three categories

would you like to try? Dan Telfer from Chicago? Inspect her gadgets. Yeah, I like the way you said it. It's got to be, right? China character. Alright, remember guys, don't start saying things that you think it might be because that helps each other.

Pretend you're competing. All right, remember, guys, don't start saying things that you think it might be because that helps each other. Okay. Pretend you're competing. Four stars for this movie that has a gynecologist in it from 1968, Dan. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leonard calls this movie, he says that if you listen closely, you'll hear Tony Curtis' voice in a phone conversation. That's a weird clue. And he also says that it was followed by a made-for-TV sequel in 1976.

This is from 1968. Four stars. Has a gynecologist in it. And there are Nine names How many names Do you think you can get it in? DT I can get it in

Seven names Okay Reasonable opening bid We go to TJ Miller I'd say name that movie Alright You really know A 1967 movie

No I don't I just gave a lot of names I think the sequel thing Might be my only in for this Okay 1968 Actually Four stars from Leonard Yeah he said Tony Curtis

Voice can be heard in a phone conversation That's a piece of trivia that I'd never heard Before about this movie but if I had I'd probably remember oh yeah that's that one And then Followed by a made for TV sequel in 76 And your seven names In which I think you will get this

Are Charles Grodin Patsy Kelly, Elisha Cook Jr Ralph Bellamy, Maurice Evans Sidney Blackmer, and Ruth Gordon. Oh, I don't got it. I'm too young. Don't say anything. What are you doing? Did he just say it? He didn't. Because I can search my lizard brain

for the imprint even though I didn't listen. Bringing up baby. I have no idea. That's a great guess. What do you think it is, TJ? Charles Grodin plays the guy in a comic. That's right. Rosemary's Baby. Rosemary's Baby, you guys.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I was like, I know Charles Grodin. This is the only name I recognized. God damn it. And the TV sequel was called Look What's Happened to Rosemary's Baby. Oh, shit. that is the devil John casted the great John Cassavetes and Mia Farrow rounded out the cast and so TJ well done point to TJ Miller yeah impressive you've gotten points before,

usually by making someone else name it, but there's no reason. That's part of the strategy of the game. I do not fault you for that. It's like poker. I'm not very good at it. Yeah. Since Pat was left out in TJ Challenge,

Dan, Pat will start this next round, and then we'll go to TJ, and then we'll go to Dan. Pat, you get to pick a category. Sandwiches. Sandwiches is not a category. But if it was, the movie would be Fat Albert.

I don't even know if he eats a sandwich. But it seems like he'd be holding a big sandwich at one point. Your category choices are at Kronberg, C-H-R-O-N Berg, with an E, suggested That Time of the movie.

That's period films. Walking down the street tonight Walking down the street tonight to appear here, to come do this show, I saw, sitting in an outdoor cafe, Sam Rockwell and Justin Long. And I tweeted to let people know, in case you guys were waiting in line and saw them there,

that they were not going to be guests on the show. I didn't want you to be disappointed just because they're in the neighborhood. They don't know me. I mean, I know them, but they don't know me. But I decided to come up with a category called Rockwell and Long.

That's also a police show fromwell and Long. That's also a police show from the 70s. And that's films starring Sam Rockwell and Justin Long. They're both in the movie together. And then your third choice would be Edgar Wright Hasn't Seen It. That's motion pictures that filmmaker Edgar Wright has not seen.

I've been privy to a list and he's going to show some of them at the New Beverly in a couple weeks and hopefully I will participate in that in some way. So which category do you like, Pat? Edgar Wright hasn't seen it, that time of the movie, or Rockwell and Long? I love a great celebrity sighting, Doug,

so I'm going to have to go with that Edgar Wright. Right? I like the way you play. Thank you. All right, we're going to start with you, and then go to TJ, as I said. 1991 is the year this movie Edgar Wright has never seen came out. Leonard Mulden gives it three stars.

I'm going to have a chat with Leonard next time I see him about how wrong he is. Wrong because it should have more or because it should have less? It should have more. Okay. Thank you for clearing that up. Just curious. No, that's a valid concern. This will help me.

He says about this movie that it is imperfect, but that it's still hard to dislike. Which pretty much puts the movie in a three-star zone i think yeah it's not perfect but it's likable admit this was okay yeah from 1991 three stars and there are nine names again how many names do you think you can get it in pf that's all i get i just know that edgar wright didn't seen't seen it 1991 It'll be names if you say a number

I'd say If I were you I'd probably I'd probably start out In the nine names range And how many can I take? If I were you You can go all the way up to nine

Nine total Well you know what? I'm gonna have to go nine Yeah Smart play Thanks Might come back around To bite you

But we'll see T. Thanks. Might come back around to bite you, but we'll see. TJ Miller? No, essentially... This is where he talks long enough that you realize he doesn't know what he's saying. That you, yeah. I mean, there's no way that you know this movie. I don't think so.

So I'm going to say... You're going to win right away by not doing anything. If he hears all nine names, I got to step in and say since I suggested he bid nine names, that he would probably get it in nine names. As most people would probably get most of the

movies that I play if you get all of the names. Name that movie. Whoa! This was exciting, everybody. that move. Whoa! And we'll see if Benson... This was exciting, everybody. You say that, but it's Pat Francis.

Yeah, but TJ did that with already... He's already got one point. I know. So he can kind of play around like this a little bit. I got a little bit of leeway.

He can do something... You know what it is. Real juice. You've got a little bit of juice. But it's about to be a two-way tie between you and Pat Francis because I will be stunned if this doesn't work out in Pat's favor.

He'll say the dumbest thing on his mind. No, I won't. I can name your CD in 41 tracks. Don't say something dumb. I bet you can't. What's his CD called? I don't know. It's called The Extended Play EP. Yes, yes. By JT.

Three stars from Leonard. Not fair and wrong. I'd go four stars maybe more if it were possible. Oh, you'll get it. Dan suddenly, you'll get it. This is going to be easy.

I'm pissed about that. I changed my mind completely. Imperfect but hard to dislike. The TJ Miller story. I know. I think that's a clear win.

Alright, here's your name. I dislike you right, here's your nine names. 2011. I dislike you right now. But it's hard. Because you just gave it away. Because here's your nine names. Okay.

Ethan Embry, Peter Shuck, Lillian Lehman, George D. Wallace. Here's where it gets giveaway names. Thank you. Buck Henry, Lee Grant, Rip Torn, Meryl Streep, and Albert Brooks. Oh, God. What is it called? Oh, myorn, Meryl Streep, and Albert Brooks. What is it called? Oh, my God. Defending Your Life.

Don't whisper it. Say it out loud. Defending Your Life. That is correct. That is correct. I can't believe that with all the names of a classic comedy. I'm as surprised as you. Hey, you had me at Embry.

You didn't know Ethan Embry was in there. I did. Really? He's in Dutch, right? Yeah. Yeah, thanks. I fucking know movies. What does he do in Defending Your Life?

I really don't remember. He's that kid. Dutch is an awesome movie. Dutch is good. Okay, you're both excused. Ed O'Neill. I do love that guy. Ed O'Neill.

Yeah, Dutch is imperfect. I give it back. Yeah, hard to like. Hard to not like. Yeah. Three stars'Neill's great. Yeah. Dutch is imperfect. I give it back. Yeah. Hard to like. Hard to not like. Yeah. Three stars. Cake boss. Okay. Okay.

Finally, I'm happy again. Well, this has gone great. We have Pat Francis has a point. TJ Miller has a point. Dan Telver always has a point. TJ Miller has a point. Dan Telfer always has a point, but he doesn't have a point in this game. You've always got something smart to say, though. Do I? Look at you sitting over there.

I'm waiting. So you get to start. Yeah. And then since TJ challenged Pat, it's going to go to TJ after you, Dan. All right. Yeah. That's how we do it. Would you like In Theaters Now?

That's motion pictures that are in theaters now. Or, at King of Pancakes suggested number one movie any certain number of years ago. This particular edition I'm going with 10 years ago. The number one movie on this very day at the domestic box office 10 years ago. The number one movie on this very day at the box office the domestic box office 10 years ago. Okay. Or classic category. I can't get rid of it until I've exhausted it. Doggone it.

Movies in which a dog dies. Which one of those which one of those would you like to play? I always forget how horrible that is. Theaters now? Ten years ago to this day, number one? Or dog diet?

Ten years ago. Let's do it. Ten years ago. Yep, yep, yep. Okay. This movie was number one ten years ago today. Three stars from Leonard. I think some people

would disagree. I'm not sure. I haven't seen it in a while. Some people actually do disagree. Yeah. There's more than two people. I just think of this

as being more beloved than a three star movie. Much like the last one, perhaps? No, the last one, I loved it. In this case, I'm not making that judgment.

All right. I'm just saying. You'll be surprised by the three stars. I'm trying to help you out. Oh. I'm trying to help you out. He calls it clever. He calls it funny.

And he says that a song from the movie won the Oscar the next year for best song in a movie. And there are nine names. You guys are good at picking the... This is the 999 edition of Douglas Movies Leonard Mullen Game. How many names do you think you can get it in, Dan? Six names. That is the perfect opening bid. Six names. That is the perfect opening bid.

TJ Miller. In my bowels. Five names. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh. This is interesting. Oh, this is going to end it.

One of these two is going to score a point. Oh. We'll see. Can you lose a point? No, sir. Your point is yours to score a point. We'll see. Can you lose a point? No, sir. Your point is yours to keep. Alright. That makes me decide

if I want to say four names or not, though. That's what I'm saying. If you make him name the movie, one of you two will win with this one. But you could go for it and be a man. For once in your goddamn life. They should have smack talk like this on

Final Jeopardy yes I love it you could bid it all but be a man just bid a little bit give somebody else a chance yeah if you tell him to name it and he names it he'll win

and if he doesn't name it you'll win and Dan will be over there going that's what I said was gonna happen or you could to name it and he names it, he'll win. And if he doesn't name it, you'll win. And Dan will be over there going, that's what I said was going to happen. Or you could go lower than five names. I could say one name. If you want. I can clean this shit up. Whoa! Then you're risking

a three-way tie because Dan could tell you to name it and you might fuck it up. That's right. So I should say, name that movie. Right. You're not getting a three-way tie because Dan could tell you to name it and you might fuck it up. That's right. But you might. So I should say, name that movie. Oh. Right. But what I'm going to do is say.

Oh! The drama! He did it quite safely. Again, again, this should be allowed on Jeopardy. You should be able to go, I'm thinking this, but I'm going to do this. Alex would not enjoy the way the audience's time was wasted in that scenario. Alex, I want to say what is apples, but I'm going to go with what is... What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

Alex, I'm going to go with why the fuck does he think he can do it? Four names. Four names. All right, Dan. What was the category? The category was... The category was Pat Francis is in trouble. No, it's called

10 years ago to this day. Oh, well, certainly. The number one movie 10 years ago to this very day. This is a good one. Three stars. I don't think that's enough. Clever, funny, and the song won best song the next year at the Oscars. Well well Doug, if words could be formed

with my mouth, with my tongue slapping against my soft palate as my teeth receives the tip over and over again in the form of consonants and vowels perhaps those consonants and vowels eventually becoming syllables and those syllables, words that have both subjects and predicates and those

subjects and predicates becoming a sentence that may or may not be in a paragraph, although this statement should be short, because I'm simply playing a game where I make a choice between choice A and choice B, so a paragraph wouldn't really be necessary. There's more than two choices, actually. That's true.

There are a number of things you could do at this point. There's actually four numbers I could say, or I could go into negative numbers. This is the chess of dumb games. Lots of ways this could go. The chess of dumb games. Well, Doug, if I could take my rook just for a moment and move it to...

Quit stalling, Dan Telfer! Pat Francis, name that movie. All right, here we go. Pat Francis gets four names and I told you the clues a lot so you know right you need to hear Edgar Wright never saw it I don't know if you saw it or not your four names all right that I think are pretty helpful but probably not too helpful. This movie is from 2001. Yes, sir.

Is it Space Odyssey? Please, no pre-guessing and no extremely wrong guessing. Okay. Those are two things I try not to have the players do. Bonnie Hunt, Frank Oz, John Ratzenberger Oh And Jennifer Tilly Are the four

I know what it is Names I know exactly what it is Involved in this Ratzenberger Yeah Tilly Yeah

So easy I do not know it Yeah And there's a specific difference Between the players up here that explains why TJ does not know. There's a song in this movie

that won the best song in 2001. That's what happened. Dan is so upset with himself. Would you have gotten the three names? You would have gotten the three names. would have gotten The fuck out of this You would have gotten

With three names Because you would have Gotten Rasmus Berger Do you want me to whisper In your ear what it is Just so I can prove Myself to you I think we all know

That you know what it is Yeah We will We're going to Body language We're going to trust you On this right Jordan We trust him

Jordan was at Disneyland Today and a guy Recognized him from the podcast Whoa That's some crazy shit That is crazy I don't know who's weirder I recognize you

That guy or Jordan. Was it you? You're just friends, right? It would be weird to be, my friend recognized me from the podcast. Is it? Is it? Yes. Is it Magnolia? Is that a real guess? It is. I don't know it.

It's Toy Story 2, isn't it? Whoa. You guys... Guess what it is. Guess what it is, TJ. Just take a guess. I think it's Monsters, Inc. That's right!

How did you... You don't even have kids! How did you... How do you know? Sometimes on the weekends, on Sundays, I take out other people's kids. And by that, he means he murders them. Very good guess.

He takes them out. I didn't see it with my kids. My kids are too young. I saw it alone in a movie theater just so I could see the preview for Attack of the Clones. Good for you, trench coat. Yeah.

And I do not look pleasant alone in a theater. So what just happened here? The game's still tied up. Three-way tie. Three-way tie. Only one of you is wearing a tie happened here the game's three-way time three-way time only one of you is wearing a tie but it's a three-way tie and yeah I thought the Oscar thing would give it away because Disney or Pixar movie wins the Oscar for best song every year pretty much I said I would have said for that year the hustle and flow song one I love that song it's hard out

here for a pimp. It is, isn't it? Pimps do so much better in other cities than here. It's very difficult in this, even in the tri-state area. Nevada. All right, TJ,

here's the part where we have to speed into the finish of the game because we're running out of time. So try to avoid sidebars. And what just happened? You got the point, Dan. I got the point?

Who challenged? I challenged him. He had to guess. Yeah, yeah. So TJ was out of that. So we'll start with TJ and then go to Dan. And TJ gets to pick a category. Would you like Scream movies?

That's one of the four Scream movies. I'll take Scream movies. Okay, Scream movies for the win. Thank you. I'll take Scream movies. This is one of four films. This is the best. That have Scream and a number or no number in the title.

This is the best. I've seen them all. I've seen them all. This particular one got two and a half stars. Yikes. One of the later ones. Dada, come home. It's from the year ones. Dada, come home. It's from the year 2000.

Oh, well then, oh, Leonard God. Leonard calls it the finale, but in quotes, wisely. He wisely put that in quotes.

And he says, it's fun for fans with some choice cameos. And there are 18 names. How many names do you think you can get in, TJ Miller? Where's Sarah's 41? All right. Telfer.

Keep it together over there. I'm sorry. I don't have a socially acceptable laugh. That is true. It's actually true. I mean... Out of 18. Oh my God. Pick a number.

Hell, 14. Yeah, nice. Watch me. Strong opening bid. Wait, who challenged on the last round who challenged you he challenged you okay so we go to Dan

14 names 14 names it's one of the four scream films right right right it's the finale I'll bust that up 14

the finale's in quotes I can name it in zero names ugh nice that's what I should have done I should have done that. Yeah, maybe.

Maybe. We'll see. Now we go to Pat Francis, who can go negative names. Okay. Listing names from the top of the cast. Oh, man. Going down in the right order. I have to name names.

If you say negative names. I'm a rat, Doug. I'm not naming names. Okay, so how many do I have to name that's a fun bit but you have to you could say I can name it negative one name then you'd have to name the top build act the name of the movie and the top build actor all right I will name it in negative one name nice all right so now we're back over to you decision time can you go more names negative one name how many names are there 18 I'll do it in negative 17 names.

What you got, Telfer? What you got? Put that on Trebek, motherfucker. Put that on Trebek. I've never been more. I know you're sticking to the game. Wow. But you're also doing something to make it take longer.

Because... I'll name it. No, you're not going to be able to name 17 names in the proper order. That is nigh on impossible. Do not let him take this back. I would like him to do it. He has to take it back. He's being ridiculous.

Can I play my naming chip? TJ, can you promise you'll do it in less than 60 seconds? Yes. Yeah, because he's not going to be able to do it in less than 60 seconds? Yes. Yeah, because he's not going to be able to do it. Right, right, exactly. I'll be able to call it right away. Okay, so what do you say, Dan? Well.

Let's see if you can name it. I know what the movie is. Name the fuck out of that movie, TJ. Okay, name that movie. You got to name, what's the movie, first of all? I think it's Scream 3. Correct. Yes.

And what are the 16 names? Who's the top-billed actor? Let's start there. Anna Faris. Yes! It's not Scary Movie. It's Scream. Oh, I see.

Well, then, no. I won't be able to win. Dan Telfer is our winner. Dan Telfer wins. Stay right there, TJ. I'm going to take a picture of you after we're done here. Get out of here. All right.

Jake, did you write a shithead on here? No, you didn't. No shithead on the mat. So if you guys can shake. That's right. Jake, right? You hold on to that. Don, come get your prizes.

Don Tron wins all this stuff. I'm sorry. Which one's Don? Yeah, where are these people? Where's Don at? Oh, you're a youth entertainer. There you go. And then you can have that bag if you want.

Oh, there it fell over. There you go, Don. Grab that bag right there. That's all yours. Let's hear it for Don, everybody. Yeah. Nice sign, Don. In here, yeah.

Use my Sharpie. Write down somebody for me to call a shithead. And Dan Telfer, you got anything to plug real quick? Yeah. This Dan Telfer, you got anything to plug real quick? Yeah. This comes out Friday, so most of my L.A. shows will be done by then. But I'll be in Minneapolis with Jackie Cation in January. These people can come see you in L.A.?

They can, but people listen to the podcast. Yeah, people in the audience. I'll be at the Meltdown tomorrow, and I'll be at the Comedy Palace on Thursday. So if you can come out, that would be awesome. The Comedy Palace is free. Meltdown's $8, but the Meltdown's fucking amazing and they're both amazing. So hooray for America. And then I interrupted your Jackie Cation plug. Quick.

Oh, January 24th through 28th, I will be with Jackie Cation at the Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Oh, great club. Just came back from there. Excellent. Pat Francis, Rock Solid. Rock Solid. Every Thursday, iTunes. Listen to Rock Solid. And also, iTunes, listen to Rock Solid. And also, November 25th, third annual podcast-a-thon. Raising money for the Smile Train.

Smile Train. Smile Train. 12-hour podcast. Goes all night from the, is it from Acme again? Acme Comedy Theater. Speaking of Acme, Acme here in LA, not Acme in Minneapolis. That's right. Be clear about that.

Streaming live, 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. Always a fun time. I was there last year and I had a blast. I can't make it this year, but I'll donate for sure. And TJ Miller extended EP. The most confusing thing on the marketplace.

And your special for no good reason. What's it called? It's called No Real Reason. No Real Reason. But it's for no good reason. On Comedy Central. On Comedy Central, November 12th, this Saturday at 11 p.m., the DVD Uncensored comes out on the 15th.

You can see some bitches heckle me in Boulder and me deal with it on television. Oh, that sounds fun. That's good. People don't leave the heckling in usually. I'll be at the Improv in the state of San Jose on Sunday, November 20th at 420, and the Palace Station in the state of Las Vegas on December 4th,th at 420 and the Palace Station in the state of Las Vegas on December

4th, also at 420. Thanks again to my guests. Let's hear it for these guys. Dan Telfer, Pat Francis, TJ Miller, and as always, CherrySpits.com is a shithead, so that's a nice plug, sort of, I guess, for something

called CherrySpits.com. And I agree with this one. Joe Paterno is a shithead, so that's a nice plug, sort of, I guess, for something called CherrySpits.com. And I agree with this one. Joe Paterno is a shithead. Yeah!