Doug Loves Movies - T.J. Miller, Kumail Nanjiani, Rich Sommer, and Kurt Braunohler Guest

Episode Date: March 4, 2014

Doug welcomes T.J. Miller, Kumail Nanjiani, Rich Sommer, and Kurt Braunohler to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sticky seats With 50 as a number, kernels in his teeth There's still not more that he won't see But Doug Loves Movies Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. That's pretty good. Some of you just like to speak talk it. You don't totally get into the Motown sound.

Coming to you from the UCB Theater on Tuesday, March 4th, 2014. Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2, Judgment Day of the Dead, Men Walking Tall, The President's Men in Black. If you're listening and have a South by Southwest badge down there in Austin, Texas, be sure to come to the Alamo Draft House Ritz for a mystery Benson movie interruption on Saturday, March 15th at 4.20. The guy, Tim League, that runs Alamo Drafthouse, he has this huge catalog of films, like prints of films. And they sent me the list, and I picked one that I want to interrupt, but we can't say what it's going to be.

So just come down to that. If you have a badge. I don't know why I'm even talking about it Los Angeles that's you guys next Tuesday is the third installment of Getting Doug with High live at Largo on La Cienega

$20 tickets are at Largo-LA.com if you use the discount code GETDOG please don't spend $30 to watch six people get stoned. Chicago, I pay $20. That is the fair rate

to watch six people suck on volcano bags. Chicago, I'm doing stand-up at the Zanies in Rosamond, O'Hare adjacent on Monday night, March 24th. Let's get into the prize bag, you guys. We got some good stuff in here.

We got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt, of course. We got a t-shirt from DougLovesShirts.com Lots of fun shirts on there. There's some St. Patrick's Day ones on there that are really hilarious if you need to buy something green. And this shirt, I didn't necessarily

approve this one, but you know, they try. It says McDowell's, our buns have no seeds. And then an address. Maybe this is a real place. So there's lots of crazy shirts there. We got an

apologies to put your hands together shirt that's fun to wear because you'd have to explain that to everyone. No one would know what your shirt meant. We got a Gateway Doug CD, of course, as always. Gonna be

recording the new, the sequel to Gateway Doug, Gateway Doug 2, Forced Fun at I know, I'm sorry, at the Helium Punch the sequel to Gateway Doug, Gateway Doug 2 forced fun at at I'm sorry, at the Helium Punchline, I almost called it, Helium Comedy Club in Portland, Oregon

on April 20th. Sam Levine couldn't be here this week because of work and besides you know how you get pissed with four chairs out here. Please welcome Kurt Braunohler, Kumail Nanjiani, Rich Sommer, and TJ Miller! Besides, you know how you get pissed with four chairs out here. Please welcome Kurt Braunohler, Kumail Nanjiani, Rich Sommer, and TJ Miller. Wait, do you have a tiny wine, TJ?

I have a tiny wine from the airplane. This is my podcasting kit. A tiny wine from the airplane, a closed Union Jack beer, and a bottle of water. And a lot of positivity. I'm ready. And a lot of positivity. I'm ready. And that late applause was for Kumail Nanjiani, who just shot in here.

Hello, hello. Out of a rocket. Traffic was horrible? Yeah, it was real bad. What do you got for us? One of those is for you. What do you got for the bag? I got to keep something? Yeah, it's a wrap gift for the Meltdown TV show that we did.

It's a good t-shirt Meltdown TV show that we did. It's like a t-shirt. Oh, nice. I did that show. There's only like 20 of them in the whole world. And your name's on the back of it. My name is on there. That episode I was on, Eric Andre, me, Paul Scheer, Rob Hubel, and Jim Gaffigan, all in one episode of Meltdown.

That's coming on Comedy Central in the fall? Yes, coming in the fall. It's nice to have a shirt like that, because then you can easily glance and make sure you weren't on it. Well, I can just tell you you're not on it. Oh, wait a second. We already started with something I need to battle with a thing I call positivity. This is an amazing visual. And I'm not going to explain it any more than that.

Fuck you, podcast audience. Here I am. In addition to the t-shirt, Kumail brought a copy of Tropic Thunder, the director's cut on Blu-ray, and the book, Tropic Thunder, the true story.

Which, to me, I don't know what's going on there. It is a true story, and that's the true story of the film version. Okay. Is that true? Do you think it's a true story, and that's the true story of the film version. Okay. Is that true? Do you think it's a true story? I hope so. Have you seen it? I hope so.

I'm just trying to be positive about the best movies. I hate this new TJ. I want to make him sad. You're going to love this new thought system I'm getting involved in. You just have to give us 10% of your income. They are dancing with the Reaper, and unless they take the lead, they will be waltzed into death.

Welcome to the show, you guys. Oh, I thought you said waltzed into death. As people just traipse through. I thought they were leaving like flop Tropic Thunder. They were leaving backwards. You know, it's cool that they just walked in. Sometimes we start at 7.30. You know, I'm a stoner.

You never know. It's always at 7. It's always exactly at 7. Always promptly at 7. It is at 7. But thank you for being here. TJ has prizes, too, for the grab bags. Yeah, and not to be outdone by Kumail, one of those is for you.

What? Yeah. Do I get to pick which one I get to keep? Yeah. Oh, you got two copies of T.J. Miller, the extended play EP. Illegal Art.

Illegal Art, Real Mixtape. Remix. Remix. Real Mix. So there's an extra one in there for you because, you know,

that's one of only, I think, 50,000 that I haven't sold. All the ones he made. All of them that I printed. Yeah. That's exactly it. They're still in the wild in his garage. Yes.

But I'm not on the remix, right? I was on the original. You're in the remix. You're too funny not to be remixed. All right. Oh, I got to check that out then. What? It's Axiomatic.

I want a little dubstep under things I say. I want a little dubstep under things I say. And then you brought a TV special that you did called No Real Reason. TJ Miller, everybody. Yeah, it doesn't. These are just things that we did and we look back on as not being as good as hopefully the things that we're doing now.

Kurt, I feel bad that you weren't on the show. Let me be clear. We begged Comedy Central to let you be on it. This is going to make it better. They were like, who the fuck is that guy? We've never heard of him. Is he an open mic-er? And I was like, no.

He's got some good bits. He's got some good... I mean, they're open mic bits, but they're good. They're polished open mic material. They're really polished. After five minutes, I just stopped talking each time. I just got the lighter. There was no light, buddy.

This is a TV show. Rich Summer is here, you guys. Bye. Yeah. Thanks for the table class. Soup's busy shooting more Mad Men for, when's that going to come out again?

April 13th, Doug. But you're not done shooting that season yet. Well, we're done shooting the first half that will start airing April 13th, and now we're on a little break. You're not done yet? Are you going to get done in time? Well, we're done with that part, and then the ones we're about a little break. You're not done yet? Are you going to get done in time? Well, we're done with that part,

and then the ones we're about to start shooting won't air for another year. That's fun. They broke it up that fun way that they do, where you can get half satisfied, and then you wait a year, and probably you still will be mad about something. Oh, wait, you know how it ends. Not yet. I will know in like three weeks, four weeks. And then you'll have that information for a whole year before people will know.

Yeah, but I'm going to talk about it. My contract will be up and then they can't fire me anymore. That's amazing. I'm going to actually talk about it. You can do a word for word reenactment of the final script. There's nothing they can do anymore. You speak stuff out on microfilm. The last episode takes place

in Don Draper's liver. And his liver had imagined the entire story. I feel like the whole series has been a slow push into Don's liver. And then finally, we'll get to see what it is.

It'll be a St. Elsewhere ending where it just pulls back and it's just Don's liver dreaming the whole thing. Is that how St. Elsewhere ended? Yeah, an autistic child. That's sort of what I just said. An autistic child.

The dream of an autistic child? Looking into a snow globe. Why have I watched any episodes of this show? I was just watching the dreams. What a boring autistic child. I dream about the goings on at a hospital. There's no way an autistic child thought of Ed Begley Jr. That is not possible.

What are you doing right now? Walking somewhere. Taking a bus somewhere. Rich brought a game card, a playing card. Can you explain what it is? Yeah, that's for your copy. I'm sure you all have it, of Pixel Lincoln.

It's a board game, and this was an expansion card of Evil Rich Summer. It's me in my underwear with blood dripping out of my mouth. And that was for the Board Game Geek convention last year. It was a special promo. So if you

weren't at the convention, now's your chance to pick it up. And to the people that listen to the show that sent me the board game schmovie, the board game, I mentioned it to Rich Summer. He knows what it is. And he knows every board game. He not only knows it, he owns it

and has read the rules. I'm ready to play it whenever you want to play it. Are you a big board game guy? I'm a little bit of a board game guy. Yeah, what's the website? That's great. You go to boardgamegeek.com. Yeah.

Yeah. Commercial. That's the part I forgot. It was either a.gov or a.org. .party? .party? Yeah. No, it was.tv.

That one did well. Wait, is that an exclusive from that con? From that convention, yeah. I have all the rest of them. How many collectors? I literally think I have about 700 more of them. So I will be bringing them to each of the remaining 700 times I come onto this podcast. Were you guys giving them away at the convention?

Yeah, well... You literally... I would play games, and if someone came up and said, can I have one of your Pixel Lincoln cards, I would give it to them. How many people came up to you? 13? 14? It was 13 and up!

Nice board game joke. Yeah, thank you. That's all I know. It's about the age range. That's my board game humor. I actually didn't understand that reference. I was like, that's all i know it's about the age range that's my board game humor i actually i didn't understand that reference i was like that's kind of creepy talking about young girls some pieces can be swallowed um wow you guys really completed that joke yeah rich summer also brought a copy of the complete first season of Fraggle Rock. Yeah! Who doesn't like to watch that jerk off and an easy boy?

I love that. I really don't think it hit the stride until season two. Come on down to Fraggle Rock. Come on down now. How does it go? I think that's it. That was perfect.

Come on down. I love you. TJ, you're getting sleepy. Kurt brought a lovely... Just in time for the Olympics. he brought a medal that he won for a Valentine's Day 5K. This is very personal. On February 15th.

This is a very personal gift. It had a sticker of some kind on the front that he's just torn off of it. Why is it on February 15th? That's the one thing they had to get right was the day that the Valentine's Day of 5K happens on. It was on Saturday and Valentine's Day fell down on Friday. Thank you so much, Doug.

Sam Levine wasn't going to be here tonight. Did you win? From the three-point line. Did you win the medal or did you receive the medal? I received the medal. I did not run well in any way, shape, or form. Does everyone get a medal? That is a participant medal for a 5K.

That's an actual participant medal. That's a participant medal. Do you have any spectator medals? Because that's what I'm in the market for. I've been buying spectator medals underground, illegally. Well, you know what's going to be on the market soon is a brand new television program on HBO. It's not TV, it's HBO.

Starring our friends TJ Miller and Kumail Nanjiani. I've seen the promos. Kumail has some hilarious lines in the promos and then TJ eats some spaghetti. But hilarious. It was ramen, but I kind of acted like it was spaghetti. Truth be told, it's crazy. We started out in Chicago together at the Lions

Den almost 12 years ago. And now look at us. It's going to be on April 6th on HBO. Mike Judge is the creator and director of it. He didn't direct all the episodes. He directed about half of them, and the other half fucking suck.

On record. Oh, so you're kind of a team player and also not a team player. Heard about it. Half the days on set, he was just yelling, remember how I ate that spaghetti like it was ramen? We were like, that's not that impressive, TJ. It's the same thing.

Well, the truth is, I did pull it off. He really did pull it off. Kumail is in a motion picture, if I could talk about him for a second. Yeah, please do. He's in a movie. I don't want to talk about me. He's in a movie called Bad Milo

that I finally saw a little while back. Yeah, it's a crazy-ass movie. Did you like it? I don't know. I don't know if I did. I appreciated what they were doing, but you know. Did you like Kumail Nair? I don't know if it was for me.

It's a movie about a demon that comes out of Ken Marino's butt. And I'm married to a 65-year-old. You make out with Mary Kay Place. Yeah. And that was, to me, the most entertaining part of the movie. Ken Marino's mom and I'm playing his stepfather.

The hardest thing about making that movie was convincing my mom to not watch it. Unbelievable. You don't want to watch your own mom watch you make out

with a mom-like lady? And also, it's all about a demon that comes out of a guy's butt. Yeah, that's the thing is that what you're doing

with Mary Kay Place is like nothing compared to the rest of the film where demons are coming out of butts constantly. It's one demon and one butt. And blood is squirting all over. Oh, so you haven't seen the whole movie? I did. Spoiler!

Well, all right. Back to you, TJ. Have you seen Bad Milo starring Kumail Nanjiani? I haven't. I want to see it. As a man who makes out with Mary Kay Place. It looks really funny the trailer looks it's a good movie i really like it it really it was one of those trailers

where i was like i can't believe it's like uh zomb beavers you know that have you seen that trailer you haven't seen that jordan rubin directed that do you know that have you seen it yeah do you have you seen the movie or just the trailer just the trailer me too but it's it's about beavers yeah i don't want to see the movie it's about beavers. Yeah, I don't want to see the movie. It's about beavers that become zombies and it's fucking insane. No, it's not beavers. It's people that become zombie beavers, right? No, they're not little. No, they can't. That's what you

find out at the end of the trailer. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. You got spoiler for trailers. Spoiler alert. Spoiler, there's a rating at the end. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. That's a spoiler for the trailer don't laugh at that yeah I came to play tonight

you know Jordan Rubin comedian Jordan Rubin he directed that movie I know it's going to be amazing but that looks incredible and then also Bad Myra looks great I'm sure you're wonderful in it Kuveil is so funny in the show

all I had to do was slurp noodles, sister. Well, this guy crushed it. You're very funny. I thought it was spaghetti. Oh. This is our two-man show that never made it off the air. Off the ground. It made it off the air.

Made it right off the air. Into the ground. Kurt Braunholer, medal winner, Scandinavian. Have you... Yes, yes. Have you seen any movies lately? Have I seen any movies lately? Yes.

I think I saw some TV on a plane recently. Are you learning English right now? Yes. That's the only way that sentence would be impressive. TV on the plane. I think you're just

choosing your words carefully. Thank you so much, TJ. You're about to be like, I was watching TV. Don't say, fuck you, Kumail.

Just say TV on the plane. Meanwhile, TJ's yelling out stroller over and over. Stroller alert. TM. Love listening to TV on the plane. What did you see on the TV on the plane?

Thanks for your honest answer. We have to move on, Kumail. Really? But I want to know what he saw on the TV on the plane. I get that you want to know, but... I saw... See, this is what happens.

Just more of this shit. No, he's got it. What did you see? I saw Superman. Yeah. You mean Man of Steel? Yeah. You mean alongside the plane?

He just looked out? Yeah. He was watching Deadwood, but then he looked to the right, and there he was! He was watching my TV. Superman doesn't even have cable. He just flies next to planes.

What are they looking at? And then you close the window and he's like, I can see through windows, motherfucker. That's right. He's got x-ray vision. Shut it all down. I'm still watching the movie and you taking a shit later during the fight.

Because I'm weird like that and I can be because I'm Superman. There should at least be a scene in a Superman movie where we see him accidentally seeing through a wall into a bathroom while somebody's doing... You know what I mean? Yeah, because what the last Superman... How does he control it?

That's what the last Superman movie needed was more scenes. I think he just gets used to it. I think he's a Superman and so he's not grossed out turning it on and off. He's grossed out turning it on and off. He's so good at turning it on and off. Yeah.

I mean, if you could see through every wall, then how could you ever even have a conversation? There's so many things going on out there. Yeah, you can turn it off and on. Do you think he ever gets in arguments with, like, what's his wife's name? Lois Lane. Lois Lane.

You ever think he gets in arguments with Lois Lane? He's like, look, I'm gonna go, you wanna see Las Vegas? There's a flight, United 998. He's like, look, I'm going to go, you want to see Las Vegas? There's a flight, United 998. It's going right over this area. You can hop on the cape,

we'll go see Las Vegas. And she's like, I don't want to see that. He's like, it just came out on the planes. You know I can't see it in the theater.

Not as Superman. I feel more comfortable in the uniform. Lois, help me. Come into the sky, watch Las Vegas with me. They bleep all the swear words out, but it's fine.

They change asshole to schmuck every time. I'll whisper the real ones in your ear, you bitch. Did you do TV lines? I did do TV lines. What have you seen lately, Rich? Well, I watched Gravity. You guys have to know this is coming your way. I know, I know.

Yeah, but he's responding. You talked over his answer. He still started with it. Let me guess. Is it Gravity? Fuck. I rewatched it. I rewatched it the other day to see if I thought it should win any Oscars.

And I think it should have won every Oscar it won. You watched it at home? But not Best Picture? I know. Well, okay, to be fair, I haven't seen 12 Years a Slave because I prefer being happy in my day. You like your slavery stories in six years or less.

You like to. You've never seen Roots, and you certainly won't. I want to see two years of Slave. I mean, that thing takes forever. I could play three years of Slave, but feel a great five years of Slave. I mean, that thing takes forever. I could play three years of Slave but feel a great five years of Slave.

I watched 12 Years of Slave and I said, I liked a better one that was called Roots because it took me 12 years to finish the series.

Rich Summer is like Pharrell Williams. He's just happy, happy, happy. It is a very tough movie to watch, Rich, and I can't blame you

if you never see it because you know slavery sucks and it's wrong. It's not really tough movie to watch, Rich, and I can't blame you if you never see it, because you know slavery sucks, and it's wrong. It's not really going to change your mind on anything, so I think it's fair. Right, whereas Gravity changes your mind. It makes you think, holy shit, I'm not doing that. That's how 12 Years

a Slave is, too. I like it. I'm sorry, Richard Branson, I'm canceling my seat on the Mars shuttle. Whatever the fuck he's doing. All right. We don't care what TJ and Kumail have seen. That's how we're doing on time.

I saw TV on the plane recently. It's a great movie. It's my favorite band. TV on the plane. That does sound like some fucking east side bullshit. Hey, we're TV on the Plane. What happened to your positivity whole thing?

Fuck that. I'm fucking sick of it. No one's asked me anything about movies. TJ, what movie have you seen recently? I haven't seen any, but I went to see... Have you seen Apologies to Put Your Hands Together? It's a documentary about Cameron Esposito just pacing

backstage. Oh, just waiting for you guys to wrap up. I love that joke. It took me a second to get it, but I'm on board now. It is distinctly Los Angeles. Welcome aboard, Kumail. It's distinctly tonight. People in Ohio are like, what the fuck? Cameron will be okay. We can go late. It's definitely tonight. People in Ohio are like, what the fuck?

Cameron will be okay. We can go late. It's okay. I talked to her. She's cool with it. You worked this out? I worked it out. When I lie, I go real low. So even if someone catches you in the lie, you still feel like a cool guy. And then I

overcompensate. No, I'm not lying. No, I'm not lying. No, I wasn't lying. Kurt's great. You should book him. I can't get on Put Your Hands Together at all. Give me a real I'll get back to it for you.

I'm just here to get on some comedy shows, guys. Especially ones that are soon to be cancelled. Let the game begin! Have you ever had a show where you didn't get to the game? Yes, it's always when TJ's on.

Is that true? You know what I realised recently? That you've never played the game? No, that if you say young women, it's not creepy, but if you repeat young twice in a sentence, it's super weird. Give us an example.

Look at all those young women versus look at all those young, young women. If you say women twice, that's also weird. Look at those young women, women. Are you going to race over to a stand-up show now and tell them about what movie you've seen lately? I hope so. Doug, I love that one too.

You like my jokes? You're overcompensating for lying. Yep. Let's see some name tags. Do we even have any? Okay, there they are. Very good. Everyone was very cagey about whipping them out.

I'm not showing it to you until I have to. But every gentleman, go pick your name tags, who you want to play for. Anybody is eligible. It's holding up something. Lately, it's just been random objects. In the meantime, I'd like to talk about... While you guys do that, we'll be right back. Save it for when we're back from commercials. And we're back!

Kumail! Look into my vine and tell me who you're playing for. Katie Larry. The movie ain't part of me. And what he did was he took the word Perry and instead put the word Larry on. Which I assume is your name.

Larry? Did you ever put on like a wig and a bra and go out as Katie Larry? Larry does not want to contribute. Larry, are you a Katie Perry fan? Yes? You don't fit the profile. You ever gone by Katie Larry?

You ever go by Katie Gary? Isn't that George? Just pretending to be Larry? You ever go by Katie Gary? Isn't that George? Just pretending to be Larry? You ever go by Lady Scary? Pick somebody else. He's already won before. Yeah, fuck you. Yeah, fuck you, George.

What happened? It was a good try. I was really buying it for a while. Maybe he's Larry now. He's just sitting in silence hoping he wouldn't notice. Maybe he was always Larry. Maybe George was a good try. I was really buying it for a while. Like, yeah, maybe he's Larry now. Just sitting in silence, hoping he wouldn't notice. Maybe he was always Larry. Maybe George was a lie. No one knows what his name is.

He works in the shadows. I got a baseball cap that says tacos on it. Yeah! I just wanted to talk to a guy named Tacos. Oh, man, that's amazing. What do you got, TJ? Now that I see the taco hat, I got a fucking... It's Taco's hat.

A piece of wood that says Tommy on it. It looks like he... Let me see it. There's a hook, a hanging hook on the back. All right, Rich, what do you got? His mother put it above his room so he knew where the fuck he lived. Taco hat. Taco's.

It's more than one. Oh, it's plural? Never mind. Tommy on the wood! I've got a beautifully painted brick that says, No Country for Old Ben. Wow! Okay.

Very nice. Very nice. That's incredible. That's why I chose it. That's beautiful. I love that. I like pieces of art you can have a real good riot with.

Just beat the shit out of people. It's not art unless you can throw it through a plate glass window. The shit head on the back is painted on as well, Doug, so you'll enjoy it when I lose, by the way. Sorry about that. Oh, well, you did say on Twitter that you wanted to come back and redeem yourself. I know, but then... And I pitted you against three of the best players in the game.

I know, you pitted me against three players. Yeah. I'm one of the best there is. Kurt, who are you playing for down there? I got a, this is a Dunstan

checks in pun. Yes! As Justin checks in. Dunstan checks in is maybe one of my favorite monkey movies. And so I'm pretty happy you chose it, Justin.

And it looks like Doug, you're the monkey and you are fucking Justin from behind. Yeah. He's checking in the back door. Yeah, he is checking in the back door. Yeah, he is checking in the back door.

He's just carrying me. That is correct. He's just carrying me. He's just carrying? Yeah, I'm drunk in that scene. He's helping me walk. His face suggests that you've penetrated him, just so you know. He's just carrying you into his asshole.

Yeah, he got you in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No velvet rope. All right. Sometimes you gotta to cut things. There's no shithead on my tacos hat. Yeah, we'll have to get one from him later if you lose, but you are a formidable player, so let's just...

This is a lie. Anybody who's got a hat with the word tacos on it doesn't have any people they hate. Life's going good if you're wearing a hat. Life's going good if you're wearing a hat Life's going good if you're wearing a hat that says tacos So Rich wants this the most And Kurt is the The third quietest on the panel

So we're going to start with Rich and then go to Kurt Wait, who's the quietest? It's not a competition It's literally a competition. And then we will go to Kumail and then to TJ. You know how it works. Mr. Summer gets to pick a category. Would you like...

At John on the Base suggested dangly bits. Dangly bits. And that's movies where Thomas Lennon has only one scene. That's a dangle. Wow. That's a big catalog. That's pretty good. Yeah.

And he sent me the list, and there's at least seven of them. What's it called? A dangling participle? Or part is a principle? Like, what did he name the catalog? Dangling bits. You checking the clock, Doug? Ryan, are did he name the category? Dangling bits. You checking the clock, Doug? Ryan, are you checking notes for the edit on this episode?

I had a better pun. That's all I had. What was your pun? Dangling part is a principle? Dangling part is a principle. Is he a principle character? Wait, that's better than what? Than whatever the fuck you just said.

It's literally better than nothing. I think you're using literally a little bit too hyperbolic. No. Or, Rich, you could play the In Theaters Now category, even though the app is dead. There's still a couple of movies

that have been reviewed that are still in theaters. And for your third option, it's celebrating a birthday today, the great Catherine O'Hara. So the films of Catherine O'Hara, who is in ACOD with our friend Adam Scott. So we know the answer is not ACOD. Oh, it might be. I'm going to go with Catherine O'Hara. No, don't.

Why? I want it. I'm going to go with Catherine O'Hara. No, don't. I want it. I want it. Denver, yeah. Would you like... Pretty good. Spot on. It's not bad. 1988 or 1990?

Catherine O'Hara. That's kind of in her wheelhouse. Let's go 88. Okay, went deep. Three kind of in her wheelhouse. That's what she was really trying to map. Let's go 88. Okay, went deep. Nice. Three stars from Leonard for this movie that he says is great fun. And he also says that...

Oh, what? Oh, this movie's surprisingly good-natured in spirit. Yeah. That doesn't help. Thanks, Rich. And he lists 11 names. How many names can you get in, Rich Summer?

I'll go with three. Okay, that's a pretty impressive opening bid. Wow. Shit. Kurt, you could say name it, or you could bid fewer names if you think you know what this thing is. Name it.

You're banging. Name it. Jesus Christ. This has been like, you've just been hosting this in German. I don't understand what the fuck's going on at all. Whatever. You look like the most German guy on this panel. Yeah.

You look like what Hitler wanted everyone to look like. I know. It's sad, isn't it? Kumail, Kurt and I want to talk to you about living in a very special community away from the United States.

Will I get to concentrate a lot? Yes. It's one of the main things. Work is super fun. It's great. I hate shoes, so that'll be good.

Perfect. And you get to do a choo-choo train all the time. Kurt, do you like choo-choo you get to do a chew-chew train all the time. Kurt is a... Kurt is a stand-up Scandinavian. Communal showers.

I'm going to lose on the first question. Your three names, Rich, you're not going to lose anything. Kurt will get an undeserved point is all. When you're bluffing, don't tell the person directly. Your three names are Annie McEnroe, Dick Cavett, and Glenn Shaddix.

And again, the year is 1988. Catherine O'Hara's in it. Three stars from Leonard. What's the third name? Gene Shalit? Shat Dix. Shat Dix. Shat Dix.

Shat Dix. Shatner. Gene Shat. Four dicks. Old Shatner dick. Bad Milo is the story of a man who shits out a dick. In the form of a baby monster. It's like Bigger Hell Baby they could have called that movie.

Rich, I thought you knew 100% what this movie was. If I knew 100% I would have gone negative, Kamau. I was hoping for a little more information and that Kurt would look. It's been fun. Did I fuck you, Rich? I didn't mean to fuck you.

Just name a movie. You fucking me like Doug fucked Justin. He shot when O'Hara was in and then he could score that way. I've made it my goal to help you win this game

just so you know. Thanks, Camille. You're in a weird spot to do it because you're two seats away but I'm going to try. I've made it my mission to destroy you. I've made it my mission to destroy you. I've made it my mission to stay confused.

I'm going to go with 88. Just say it, man. I'm going to try Who's Harry Crumb. Oh, fuck. It's Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. That's a great movie. That's a great guest. Yes, he was. That's a great movie. Oh, yeah. Glenn Shaddix was in that movie. That's a great guest. He had a great movie.

Yes, he was. That is surprisingly not mean-spirited. Kurt Braunohler's on the board. He doesn't even know what's happening. There you go. Yeah! That's from Ben. How I've gone through life.

Okay, TJ, we're going to start with you now. Then we're going to go to Ben to Kumail. Okay. And then back to Kurt. I'm ready. The aim is to go to Ben to Kumail. Okay. And then back to Kurt. I'm ready. The aim is to destroy Rich. You get it. Breakfast at Tiffany.

That's a movie where a diamond is swallowed by somebody. I'll take it. No, we're not there yet. The year is 2000. No, I'll move it along if he wants to.

The year is 2000. Three stars from Leonard for this movie where a diamond gets swallowed. What's the name of the category again? Breakfast at Tiffany. Okay, I can think of a better pun. What is it?

Give me a better pun for a category of movies where a diamond is swallowed. A diamond on the way out is rough. Alright, Mr. Benson, does anybody else have one? I'm trying to think of words for eat. Hit me with it. Intention. Yeah, that's good.

I'm not going to give you points for that one. Roe Mouthing the Stone. Yeah. Okay. Appreciate the positivity, TJ. Hot Rock. Fuck it. That was the name of a movie.

Yeah. And the category is just, if you can guess the movie, Hot Rock. It's an incredibly easy category. What was Hot Rock? I don't remember this movie. It was a heist movie about a diamond and George Segal. I bet you that Steve McQueen directed fucking Shame. He did.

No, he didn't, dickface. He was a famous, famous actor decades before you started watching movies. Become an academic about the things you want to be great at. Welcome back to arguments in the south during the Oscars. With one self. Also what you guys need to know to really complete that joke is that he spilled a huge amount of beer on his pants. You better believe it.

Right after the last tag. It's not a T.J. Miller episode of the show when if nothing physical has happened that the listeners can really get into. Oh, wait, I have something to say about that. Three stars for this movie where a diamond gets swallowed. The year is 2000.

Yeah, right. Yeah, this movie is the work of a writer-director. And he also says this movie is fresh and full of punch. This is a professional reviewer? Full of punch. The great Leonard Maltin. And he names 12 names. How many names did he get it in? 11.

TJ says 11. Is this from 2000? Smart opening bid. Yes, sir. What do you bid, Kamil? Swallow that sweet, sweet stone. Let me say 9. I like to react largely to things that don't matter to me.

Swallow down dirty shame? Yeah! Denver, yeah! Yeah, you don't talk shit about it when it's saving your ass, do you, Doug? Wait, something just saved my ass? No, no. You could edit out everything except TJ talking, and it would make just as much sense. That would be so fun to see.

Let's put out a bonus cut of this show where you never hear TJ. No, no, no. Everything he says is cut out. I meant only hear TJ. I want to hear only TJ. Okay, let's not do that, though. We would lose 10 seconds from this podcast.

Edit me out, and then at the very end, I'll be like, you're right. I shouldn't have been in the show. That's all I'll say. Alright, I said nine. He says nine. Nine! Yeah, he said that for a reason. Nine!

You're not used to saying that. Name it? Name it. He gets nine names? That's a lot of names. From 2000? Someone where someone eats a diamond. Kurt's playing smart. I just got texted diamonds are for edible.

That's a good one. Be proud of yourself silently. Right before you masturbate next time, remember this. You've got a great mind. No texting in the theater, ma'am. Your nine names out of 12 are

Jason Fleming, Stephen Graham, Lenny James, Robbie G, Mike Reed, Alan Ford. That's why I'm going through them quickly because they're not going to help you at all. Jason Statham. Okay.

Raid Shabang Okay. Oh, fuck. Raid Shabangu. Oh, fuck. I'm going to pronounce his name but you're not going to need it because your last name is Brad Pitt and the movie is called...

The last name is Brad Pitt? Yeah. Nine out of 12 names. You have five seconds. So he's fourth billed in this movie. Brad Pitt. A diamond is swallowed.

Jason Statham everyone in this room knows the answer right now I gotta say what I was gonna say was way I'm pretty sure Brad Pitt's not in the movie I was gonna say that would then that'd be a terrible guess but we also we do need to move this along from 2000 I was watching on the way in here on my talking keep Yeah, keep talking, keep talking for a second. Don't look to the audience for examples. Ladies, keep your legs crossed. Fellas, keep that dick out.

I think everyone listening also knows now what to talk about. Yes! That's a great movie. Oh, shit. So you just stall long enough and then you get a hint. Is that how it... I'm gonna get this game, Doug. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You know what that sound was?

That was the sound of people turning on you. You just got Levined, bro. Hey, as the captain of the positivity on this team, I'd like to say, what is that about?

There's no hissing. There's no booing. This is a podcast. Jesus. Well, sorry. If it's hissing positively, is it okay?

Yeah. All right. This time we're going to start with TJ. I'm glad we're going to start with TJ. I'm glad we're supplying all the listeners with great ringtones. But we do have a game to play. That's another ringtone you can use.

We'll start with you. Don't give me any lip service, Doug. Give it to me straight. Are you just running your lines for your audition tomorrow? Yeah. Hold on a second. It's for Transformers. Yogi versus Yogi Bear.

Oh my God. I wish that your movies would fight each other. Uh, that was in an Asian accent. We'll start with you, TJ. And this time we'll go to focus up. I did.

I tried to do a bear impression of Yogi Bear fighting him as a Transformer, Kurt. And then I said, give me a picnic basket or something like that. It was really weird. It's not even distinctly Asian. That's how you think Asian people sound? That's what I was going to say.

It wasn't even distinctly Asian. It felt like someone who grew up in a household where his father was Puerto Rican and his mother was Japanese. But like from rural Japan? Anyway, keep going. Hit me with your best shot! Somebody should run the numbers.

Like, keep going is only said by guests who are not letting the show keep going. Fire away! Every single time. Your category. Tommy, this one's for you. No choices. No more choices for you guys

TJ it's impossible for you to win I have to punish everyone because of you TJ I know I can never win Walter Mitty Movies where Walter Matthau wears mittens That's incredible Oh yeah 1983

Or 93 TJ Miller That's a tough one 1983 or 1983 or 93, TJ Miller? That's a tough one. 1983 or... No, it's not. 1983 or what? 93. I mean, come on, buddy. I think 1993. Let's party.

God, I wish you could get on Jeopardy. Alex, let's fucking party. Give me the God damn thing. Physics for 100, let's party.. Come on, buddy. Give me the goddamn thing. Physics for 100, let's party. Physics for 100, dickbag. You're shitting dicks right now, Trebek. I know it. Denver, yeah.

Yeah, that's what I'd say, but not as low because I wouldn't be disguising the fact that you're lying about being me. Denver, yeah. Two and a half stars for this movie where Walter Matthau wears mittens. 1993 is the year. Two and a half stars? Two and a half, yeah. I can't think of anything

more enjoyable. He gets a two and a half, but then he says engagingly performed. So, you know, two and a half seems like a good idea. Well, the plot didn't come together. Engagingly performed. And he also says this movie was followed by a sequel and he lists nine names. Wait, he says what? Say it again. I was looking at the brick. It was followed by a sequel. And he lists nine names. Wait, he says what? Say it again. I was looking at the brick.

It was followed by a sequel. It was followed. That's what he said about it? There's a sequel to this movie where Walter Matthau wears mittens from 1993. I think I know what this is. I know what it is. Is it Grumpy Old Men 2? Now, first of all, that's not how this game works.

That is certainly the best response. That is hands down the best. That is the best possible thing you can say. No fingers, hands down, the best response. That answer was wrong in so many different ways. Hey, look it. You're just operating on a regular chronological

time continuum. We still have to play for the point. I'm on karyological time. He already said it so he's wrong. How many names? He didn't say anything. He just said

the name of a movie. He said Grumpy Old Men 2. How many names are there? We all heard it. Nine. But it's still, you'll see,

there's still a game. Eight names. It's still a game. This game isn't just about naming the movie. He says eight names. Rich? Don't fuck with the purists.

I'll go negative two. See, that's what happens. Oh my God. So you also know that it's grumpy old men stew? No, it's pumpy old men stew. Stop saying that. It's a stew made for men pumping into it. Pumpy old men stew.

It's never ending because they keep ejaculating into the potato broth. That's the act three. It never stops. Somebody has to eat it. Kurt, what are you going to do? I'm going to eat this stew. If he fails to name it

and the top two performers in proper order. It's going to be very easy to name the top two performers. Oh, what? It's your mouth. I can say negative three? You can, yeah. Yeah, negative three. Wow. What does that mean?

It means you're in trouble. Who else is going to win this thing? Name it, bitch. It's Grumpy Old Men. Yeah, but you've got to get the top three performers in the right order. Top one. What's the top three performers. In order. In the right order. Top one. What's the top one? Jack Lemmon.

Then who would be number two? Walter Massow. Then who would be number three? Yeah, here we go. For all the... This one's for all the doubloons. Dan Aykroyd. No. What?

Don't look at your phone and chide him. Oh, no, no, no. Did you just... Who said Dan Aykroyd? Do you say Dan Aykroyd? I said Dan Aykroyd because I don't know. Dan Aykroyd? Do you say Dan Aykroyd? I said Dan Aykroyd because I don't know. I couldn't even tell

where it came from. That's my go-to. If I don't know, I just yell, Dan Aykroyd! Why did you yell Dan Aykroyd? That's my go-to. That's not a terrible That's my safe word. I wanted to say it. Oh, is he like eating too hot pizza? Like, Dan Aykroyd! Dan Aykroyd! He was actually in Grumpy Old Men 1.

Is it the lady? So, TJ, the answer is Grumpy Old Men 1. Can I try the third one? That's the answer. Can I guess the third one? You can, as you still win either way. Is it Ann-Margaret? That's correct.

Is Kevin Pollak number four? Kevin Pollak's a little later. Burgess Meredith, Hannah. Burgess Meredith, of course. And where does Dan Aykroyd fall on the cast list? Kumail's our winner. Is he number 46? Where is he?

Where is Dan Aykroyd? Dan Aykroyd's not in there, but Ossie Davis is after Kevin Pollock. Close enough. Buck Henry's in there. Christopher McDonald. Kevin Bacon. Good cast. Good cast. So Kumail's our winner. So Tacos doesn't eat a shithead. Come and get your prize bag, good cast. So Kumail is our winner. So Tacos doesn't need a shithead.

Come and get your prize bag, Tacos. Tommy, I'm sorry. Can I say something? Fuck yeah! Nice one. Fuck yeah! And he doesn't get to keep talking. I feel real good about winning that.

Pass me yours there, TJ, please. Thanks for having me. You got any plugs, buddy? You got any plugs? What? Oh, yeah, we should plug our show. Oh, yeah, sure. April 6th.

Let's say it together. Oh, fuck it. April 6th, HBO. April 6th. Oh, fuck it. April 6th, HBO. Watch it instead of doing your taxes. It's called Silicon Valley. Yeah, it's great. And then when it's on planes, Mike Judge let us do real weird words for the

replacements for curse words. So I say mother flubber a lot. I can't believe I didn't say negative three. I'm really upset with myself, Doug. Do you know it was Ann Margaret? I knew it was Ann Margaret. You did? You knew? Yeah, but I was worried about getting all the orders,

and I just blew it, Doug. I blew it. You know who else blew it? It's the third time here, and I blew it. No, guys, don't fucking... I didn't even know what negative three meant when I said it. Why did you say it? I just knew it was the next one after what he said. I don't know what the fuck's going on in the show.

I've been confused from the get-go. You thought this was a pattern where you say one more and that's it. I've been confused from the get-go. You thought this was a mathematics game. I'm just happy to be here. That movie was filmed in Minnesota when I was... I don't know if that means anything, Rich. Oh. I didn't mean... He is a game player, so he likes to win.

But we'll have you back. I want to come back. You seem to be learning more about the game than other players, for example, everyone else at this table. Like a board game, part of it is skill, but part of it is luck, just like in

life. Thank you so much, TJ. You're right. That's an epitaph. That's an epitaph to take from the grave. Yeah, that'll be what we put on his tombstone when he dies later tonight. Get it, guys? I'm a disaster.

Where did you fly from? What? Where did you fly from? San Francisco. You just got done with a many city tour. Oh, yeah, I did. A nationwide tour

called the No Cancellations Tour. Thank you to everybody in every city except for Oakland for coming out. Why? Tell us about Oakland. What went wrong in Oakland?

Oakland was last night. It was a real rough and tumbie. Yeah, but that's great. So we're going to do... I think we're going to do... Did you call them rough and tumbie to their face?

Yeah, that's probably where you lost that. No, but I fucking called them tumbies. Bunch of tumbies? Yeah, I'm having a rough time with all you fucking tumbies.

Sounds racist. It isn't, but it could be. Rich, what do you got to tell us, plug-wise? That was a good story, thank you. Transformers 4. Oh, yeah, everybody go see that. Oh, yeah, we got to get the word out about that. We got to really pump that up.

Transformers 4 is a movie. I'm trying to make a self-effacing joke within this plug, Kumail. Just let me make fun of myself and then you can make fun of me. Okay, go ahead. No, no, there's no time for either of those things. When does it come out?

The Transformers trailer, you can only see my back. But you can definitely tell that I look like a large toddler. That's true. And you see me one time running behind Mark Wahlberg and I cannot keep up. That's real. And it's sad and time running behind Mark Wahlberg and I cannot keep up. That's real. And it's sad and I'm wheezing and I was sweating. And people mentioned it.

They were like, do you want to sit down? Do you want to just sit down for a second? We don't have to shoot right away. And they would be like, yeah, you do. I'd be like, I'm the fat kid in gym class. Did they not show your face because it was too upsetting? Yeah. I'm just crying.

That's really it. People are like, what's that horse-faced motherfucker doing in this thing? They kept it behind. Oh, Sarah Jessica Parker's in it? And Goreberger's in it. Yeah, you're hard on her. No, I'm not.

I just see jokes about that all the time about Sarah Jessica Parker. She's very attractive. She's a pretty lady. I brought it up to set the record straight. Gore Burger, G-O-R-B-E-R-G-E-R and that's going to be a television show on Fuse. Oh really? That's awesome.

We'll send the rest of your stuff to me in writing and I'll mention it. Throw it away. Camille, can you come back next week for more of this? Take on some more competitors? Yeah, I can come back next week. We'll see Camille back can you come back next week for more of this? Take on some more competitors? Yeah, I can come back next week. All right, we'll see Camille back here next week. And Rich is, of course, going to continue to be on Mad Men.

Check out The Giant Mechanical Man. I watched it after the last time you were on, and it's a very engaging movie. I really enjoy it. You play a complete idiot in it, but, you know, it's charming. Maybe I'll tell you about it in a minute. Yeah, we'll talk about it after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sell it to us, but it's charming. Maybe I'll tell you about it in a minute. We'll talk about it after.

Kurt's got his podcast, The K-Hole. What else? The K-Hole, and I'll be at Helium in Portland, March 26th, 28th. Yeah! Thank you all, you guys, so much. My Indoor Kids podcast, Indoor Kids, on the Nerdist Network. It's about video games. If anybody

listening doesn't already know that, I'd be surprised, but good Kids, on the Nerdist Network. It's about video games. If anybody listening doesn't already know that, I'd be surprised, but good work, Ian. It wasn't about video games when I was on it, Camille. It was about board games, and it was a fantastic episode. I got so excited for board games while talking to you, and that has never happened to me.

Rich, are you hard on yourself in general? I mean, it's... Listen. We don't even have to talk about this. We can talk about it now i don't mind but i love him he's the funniest one on television and we're on television tell us are you are you yeah tell us rich yeah i mean listen i haven't i saw shrink for a while and it's been a couple years since i went and i should go again. Yeah, you got to.

I've got three. Let him finish, TJ. I'm serious. And I just, like, I used to exercise more, and I haven't been exercising a lot lately. And literally, and this is not a joke, like, the best time I ever had in my life, like, the best I ever was, was when I was riding my bike to the shrink. And that was when I was the best. You just felt centered. Yeah.

Riding a bike is very good for the psyche and it was like endorphins when the cops cut you off you could fly to the moon Rich do you drink? yeah I had a beer sitting there I was going to say you should try drinking because you can up the dosage if you need to that's true it's like a self

I've taken two shots in the morning this is where TJ wins worst guest is because he will not let a show end. Yeah! He doesn't know when I'm trying to wrap it up. Rich, I want to know everything about you. I want to live inside your mind. Thank you to Kumail Nanjiani, TJ Miller,

Rich Sommer, Kurt Braunohler. Mail.Johnny, TJ Miller, Rich Tomer, Kurt Braunohler. And as always, the person who stole my car is a shithead. The cone that tripped Jennifer Lawrence at the Oscars is a shithead. And P.S., also AIDS. And...

Are you really? You're interrupting and not even doing it into the microphone? It's serving no purpose. It sounded like they weren't like AIDS and shit. P.S. I have AIDS. We're picking up our mic. This is how she's telling me.

All right. We are back on track. You know what that is? Because you're on your way to think more about your own thing. That's what it's saying. I saw that. That would be really nice. That would be really nice.

I would like to try that. Find a way to get the mic out of the way. I don't know why I did that. I don't know why. The question is, clip on or just step in?

Eating dicks. Matthew. And Kurt. That was the first real spit take I've done on this podcast or in the last five years. That was unbelievable. Matthew McConaughey in 10 years is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to walk with us.

He's a golden view and crowns with big zip. He needs there's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!