Doug Loves Movies - T.J. Miller, Pete Holmes, and Brendon Walsh Guest

Episode Date: July 21, 2011

Doug welcomes comedians T.J. Miller, Pete Holmes, and Brendon Walsh to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azopop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, because Doug loves movies! Hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies This is Doug Loves Movies Coming to you from the UCB Theater In Los Angeles On Tuesday, July 19th To Ocean's Eleven

Do we have some name tags in the house? Yeah, yeah I'm making you whip them out early. There's one that says not Chris, so I don't know what his name is. Carrie, don't take her to the prom. Jordan's back with his baseball, always in practically the same exact seat. He's the new Pang. Someone's got a Mallrats thing going on there.

What's your name? Allison. Allison. Oh, I thought it said Al-zoon. But then behind you, oh, it says bread. I thought it said beet. I really can't read these from this far, but Steve, that's a really creative one. He wrote Steve on a piece of paper.

Tara or Tara? Tara. Tara and Remy? Renee. Renee? They have Price is Right stickers, so obviously they did something else today while they were visiting town.

Thank you so much for wearing those or bringing those, everybody. Nobody really wears them as name tags. They just walk in and hold them up. The number one movie in the world right now is Harry Potter and the Death by Halloween. I haven't seen it yet, and when I do,

Harry is going to be the only one wearing glasses. Fuck you, 3D. Yeah. Last night, the second finale of the Tournament of Championships was taped here in Los Angeles. Was anyone there besides Jordan? Anyone else? It was very exciting.

It was amazing. It's going to be available soon or now in the comedy album section of iTunes. And I think it's already available at astrecords.com. Very exciting. We played to five points. And the final score was four to played to five points and the final score was four to four to five. Yeah, it really came down to it.

So if you have two and a quarter hours to kill, be sure to listen to that. Very quickly, just something I want to bring up from a few weeks ago. Richard Libertini. He's hilarious in The In-Laws and All of Me and he plays Fletch's, in Fletch movies, he's hilarious in The In-Laws and All of Me and he plays Fletch

in Fletch movies he's like the editor the guy in charge anyway he's a genius and none of my panelists even knew who he was when we did Give Me Libertini or Give Me Death and so that was kind of sad Doug Loves Movies tapings on the road

include Baltimore at the Comedy Factory on August 3rd and Bloomington, Indiana where Breaking Away took place I want all the cutters to come down at the Comedy Attic on September 26th now if I'm coming to your town

and it's not a podcast taping the Lenormand game will still be played audiences are demanding it and coming to the shows with name tags on so I have to do it and what we do is we bring people out of the audience with the best name tags and have them play against whoever my opening act

is at that particular gate all of my tour dates are listed at DouglasMovies.com oh and there will be a Benson Interruption podcast taped in Santa Ana California at the Galaxy Theater on August 21st to Ocean's 11th with very special guests. It's close to L.A., so I think I can get some good people. A lot of audience members tonight got Doug Loves Movies name tag stickers courtesy of Nick and Rod Barrera in Austin, Texas.

They work at a company, own a company called Ideal Signs. And you can check them out at signsforsports.com and thank you for giving me those it was at the Taint and Teabag taping that I did I know it was a podcast called Taint and Teabag where two grown men

decided to call themselves Taint and Teabag and they're two very entertaining radio guys in Austin,as and so my appearance with them where we got really drunk and really high so it's it's a crazy show that's available now on itunes uh and i think it's episode 11 of tainty bag they didn't put my name on it it just says episode 11 i'm like if you want... Anyway. It's... It's week 9 of me not seeing the movie that

shall no longer be mentioned because this bit is getting old. And besides, I love movies. People keep pointing out to me, now it sounds like you don't love movies when you announce which movies you're not seeing, and I want to try to be more positive. For example, the new Winnie the Pooh movie.

What a piece of shit. My guests tonight, speaking of pieces of shit, my guests tonight are three of my favorite friends slash comedians. Please welcome Brendan Walsh, Pete Holmes, and T.J. Miller. Pete Holmes is stuck in traffic. He was. It's, you know, Carmageddon refuses to end.

In Hollywood today, you can't get anywhere. It's a complete stupid mess. So Pete is on his way and he'll show up eventually. He's the voice of the E-Trade baby. He is. For anyone who doesn't know. Think about that.

Think about what your life would be like if you were the E-Trade baby. You could buy a yacht. That's amazing. That baby can't really talk, though, yet. No. Probably. I'd imagine.

Yeah, that's such a good gig. But when Pete comes in here, hopefully it'll be a nice psych gag that he's the voice of a baby. Because he's one of the biggest people I know. He does. He looks like a big baby. He looks like a big baby that wears hats. Right now, he's a giant baby stuck in traffic. Wah!

Wah! So that's the voice of T.J. Miller. Thanks for coming again, T.J. Thanks, everybody. Frequent guest. Somebody recently said that my voice sounded like a drag queen who had a really rough night. So I'm excited about

clove cigarettes and marijuana leading to that. Well, that's what you blame those things on? Yeah, that and I have to go to speech therapy. Thanks for bringing it up, Doug, because I use my vocal chords incorrectly. God damn it.

Do you think you could learn to use them correctly? Yeah, I'm going to speech therapist. I like your voice. Some people say we have the same voice, which I think that's dumb, first of all. And let me say... Wait, who's talking? Let me say, fuck those people. I like that they're dumb. It's kind of similar.

If I started talking like this... Oh, snap. I talk like this. Hey, sailors, who needs a dick sock? Come on down to the harbor and drop drow. I didn't make your voice gay. I made you sound like an idiot. I know, and I made you sound gay.

That's not as mean. Although, actually, it's probably more mean, right? It is more mean. It's more mean to make fun of the handicapped than the gay. Yeah, you're saying, look at you. You're like a person. Your guy wasn't handicapped, necessarily. No, just sounds like T.J. Miller.

Just a dead-on. I don't think that's... I was in How to Train Your Dragon. First of all, I usually say Yogi Bear first of all. You do open with Yogi Bear. And you brought a copy for someone to win tonight. I did.

Yogi Bear on TV is not in 3D though right No not unless you have a 3D television Which they have But would it Be 3D I don't know it's the name of the movie Yogi Bear 3D Yeah but still when they put it on TV They probably take the 3D out

That's true I think there is a 3D version. That's true. They remove it. I think there is a 3D version of it that you can get. All right. Well, I don't want no picnic baskets flying at me.

I'm watching it in 2D. Brandon Walsh, you've been on the show before. I've been on here before. Told, regaled us with your stories of being in one of the Spy Kids films.

Yeah, twice maybe I told that story in your podcast. Yeah, we tell it every time. Have you heard about the show? I haven't heard it. Have you heard, we tell it every time. Have you heard about the game? I haven't heard it. Have you heard about it? You guys can talk later.

Have you heard about... Well, but it was really kind of pressing my mind. I don't think I'll be able to play the Leonard Maltin game unless I hear the story. Well, one of the categories is spy kids movies. Okay, I'll wait. You have to figure out which one. But no, there's a new one coming out this summer. Have you heard about that?

No. Or did you try to get into it? Nope. Neither. No. It's Jessica Alba's hot mom who is a spy. Oh. And the whole movie's about her, and I guess she has a family that they're all spies or

something. Who directs those? Rodriguez. Rodriguez. Robert Rodriguez. Rodriguez. Robert Rodriguez. Robert Rodriguez. Or maybe it's

Richard Wigrader. That's Pete in traffic. Robert Rodriguez. I'm a big baby. No? Alright. I stand by it. Solid callback. Before he gets here though, just let me say that

those commercials, it never is like, oh, that's my friend Pete talking out of a baby's mouth. For some reason, the way he delivers it doesn't sound that Pete Holmes-ian to me. Well, I think he does a voice. I'd like to hear... Oh, let's get him to do it when he gets here. Okay.

You're the voice of a talking car in a TV spot. And that sounds to you like me. That sounds like you to me. And most people on Twitter ask you if it's me. I think that's interesting. Well, because I start a thing where I go...

Let me explain it to you. This is why they do it. Because I occasionally go, the voice in the Honda commercials is Kevin Spacey. Hashtag, you're welcome. Like, I do that so people don't vote no. Which one's Kevin Spacey? All the Honda commercials lately is Kevin Spacey hashtag you're welcome. Like I do that so people don't vote no. Which one's Kevin Spacey? All the Honda commercials lately are Kevin Spacey. He's raking it in.

But I do that on Twitter. I point out who's doing the voice of things and then I say you're welcome. So people are saying to me now that it's you in that commercial like you're somebody I wouldn't catch on who that voice is. Okay, so you're just a helpful voiceover man. I try to be.

I like it. But people take the you're welcome as being sarcastic or snotty, and so then they write back to me real obvious ones. You know, like the guy in the Jack in the Box commercials is Jack. You're welcome. Hashtag you're welcome. Hashtag suck on it. on it hashtag too many hashtags have you done uh have you been the voice of stuff i haven't you'd have a good you have a good voice

for voiceover you can see yeah i can see it marijuana is legal like you'll be the spokesperson i was a commercial for what was that cartoon on HBO, Tim? Lifetime of Tim. Lifetime of Tim. I was in a promo for that, like a spot where somebody was at the movies and their phone kept going off. What did you say? And I say something like, I can't believe this. Or, oh, really?

I have two lines and they're both really angry At someone for using a cell phone That's really good In a movie theater That's pretty good And they Thanks You sounded like that promo They showed it

In movie theaters for a while So I had to go see Some shitty movie I didn't want to see Just to see myself In that spot It's just you And they're alone

Going You're angry Yeah Nailed it No Then I wished The whole movie I wished someone

Would start talking Cause then that guy From the thing That told you not to talk Would suddenly be In your fucking face That's amazing That's fucking amazing

That is so funny I'd just be like Really Can you imagine that person Talking during The guy And then They're like

My stupid day This is something I thought of That doesn't ever matter And then You turn around And you're like Shut up And they're like, my stupid day. This is something I thought of that doesn't ever matter. And then you turn around and you're like, shut up! And they're like, ah! They look at the screen and you. It would melt their minds.

I do. I love that. I got in a fight a while ago. I never get in fights. But I got in this fight. I won't tell the story, but I got in a fight. And in the beginning of the fight, one of the guys was like, fuck you. You look like that guy from Yogi Bear.

For real? For real. And then they ended up being the worst at fighting. And so I kind of beat them up, you know? You beat up two guys? Three guys. What? Wait a second.

I was looking at my phone and lost track of the story. I need to tell the story. You pick up where TJ says he just beat up three guys at once. I'll tell the story another time. But I think it's funny that one of those guys is probably like, did we just get beaten up by the guy from Yogi Bear? I think that would be amazing. Well, they called you the guy from Yogi Bear,

so that probably is what they said. Yeah, if they remember it, they probably do. It wasn't like, oh, shit, are you sure that was the guy from Yogi Bear, so that probably is what they said. Yeah, if they remember it, they probably do. It wasn't like, oh shit, are you sure that was the guy from Yogi Bear? If they ever watch Yogi Bear, it's like stupid me in shorts and a ranger hat being like, we have a beer disturbance here. And they're like, that fucking guy kicked my ass!

In Manhattan! How did that happen? Were you wearing that? Is that why they were picking on you in the first place that's amazing yeah I like to wear a ranger's outfit

in New York and ask people if they've seen Yogi Bear so sue me that's the life I have that's legal

in New York now it is legal in New York I think you should wear that suit and then walk the train tracks in uh of the New York subway system

and just be the actor who got really confused after being in two movies and he thinks he's a ranger who works with trains. I didn't even get that until halfway through. That was an amazing joke. Yeah, I'm just like,

I gotta stop the train. Also, picnic baskets Why have I chosen so many different genres? By two, you mean so many How to train your dragon to Yeah That's happening, right? It's going down

And you're gonna be the voice again of Tough nut Tough nut Why are you laughing? Why would you laugh at that? Why would you laugh at that? Because of the colloquial expression busting a nut?

Have you seen that new reality show, Roseanne's Nuts, about Roseanne Barr opening up a nut farm in Hawaii? Really? Is that a real thing? I'm sure this is fake. No, no, it's a real thing. That's the world we live in now. For real. That's what the world is like.

You can be like, can you believe this insane thing that can't possibly be true? And you're like, no way. And you're like, yeah, it's on E. It's true. You can see it on E on Sundays. I don't think it's on E, though. No, certainly not. It's on Lifetime, maybe.

Is it? Roseanne's. No, certainly not. It's on Lifetime maybe. Roseanne's Nuts? She is crazy. Yeah, it's a great title. She is crazy, yeah. What I want to know is, did someone go, hey, you're crazy, let's do a show about you opening up a nut farm. Or if she opened a nut farm

and then they just lucked into what a great title they have. She's doing what? So then we can call it Roseanne's Nuts. Oh, man. I wonder if that'll do well. Yeah. Everyone dice clay.

I'm going to buy, or I'll watch it. I'm buying the full season. I'm buying the box set. I'm pre-ordering it. You'll buy the franchise. You're totally in. Where is Pete? Pete?

Pete? I'm worried about him He texted me He claims Hollywood is closed The entire town The whole industry The whole fucking city I came here from Hollywood

And you know It was terrible But I You know I got here Because there's There's a thing that You know

He's from New York So he's got to adjust To the fact that When you want to go Somewhere in LA You know You got to leave early enough To that when you want to go somewhere in L.A., you know, you've got to leave early enough to adjust. This is what he responded to me. I said,

come on in, just come right on stage, and this is what he talks about. Okay, shit, this traffic sucks, but now say it in a baby voice. But it's not a baby voice. That's part of the idea of the bit, is that it's an adult voice coming out of a baby. It's a baby with a man voice. Yeah, that's true. But he still looks not a baby voice. That's part of the idea of the bit is that it's an adult voice coming out of a baby. But he looks like a baby with a man voice.

Yeah. That's true. But he still looks like a baby. But he should since he's a baby with a man voice. When he's a man, he should talk in a baby voice. He should have to communicate in a baby voice. He's not doing his adult voice for the commercial. It's part of the contract.

He legally can't use his regular voice now. It's part of the contract. I hate it. I don't like it. But I make so much money, I have to do it. E. Twain said they'll sue me.

E. Twain. He sent me a text. Doug, I'm so sorry. Hollywood is closed. Super traffic. Going as fast as my widow wags can.

He did not say widow wags. No, he didn't because he's driving. What difference would his widow wags make? I can't reach the pedals but I'm on my way. Oh my god. Holy shit. This has nothing to do with movies.

But I love it. What should we do? This is the part of the show where I normally say, let's play the Leonard Maltin game, but we have a competitor who's absent. Should we... Have you seen any good movies lately? I was thinking...

Oh, that's a good idea. Let's just stall on a show that we are running out of time. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So maybe I should just we are running out of time. All right, okay. Yeah, yeah. So maybe I should just play with the two of you guys. Oh, there he is. Oh, shit. Look at this big baby.

Look who brought his baby bonnet. I'm so sorry. That's the biggest baby I've ever seen. Say it like a baby. Say it like a baby. Like the E-Trade baby or like a regular baby? Like an actual baby. None of those fake babies.

I'm so sorry. Traffic sucks. I'm sorry. I pooped my diapy. Is that a baby? He doesn't do a good baby voice. That's why he almost didn't get the part. They're like, try it as a man.

And then he did it again. They're like, sold. That's where they got the idea for the E-Trade baby to sound like a man. Because his baby voice was so shitty. I like that he's in the room. And they're like, no, no, it's a terrible baby impersonation. Go, go. We won't even call you.

And as he turns, he's sort of sad. And he sniffles. And they're like, wait. Do it as a man. We're taking a long shot here. But try it as a man a man i'm so sorry it's not a good baby voice but when you do it it's not exactly your voice either though right no that was kind of it hey doug you ever you ever think about online investing that's why i didn't recognize it because i've never been around you where you're not just yelling and laughing like that you think baby is a really

subtle character that you play frowned upon in this establishment that's oh yeah that's louder me that's what i brought to the character it's so funny my father my father loves those commercials he loves them and some of his favorite entertainment in american culture. It's pretty funny when the baby and coach is being stupid and he's like, he calls him on it. Your dad insists that the baby's name is Nigel, which it isn't. Yeah. Like, he thinks he has a name. The baby doesn't have a name. And there's a spot where it sounds, I'll agree with him that it sounds like the guy calls him Nigel.

But who but me would know? Who would know if not me? No, it's Nigel. And Pete's like, I'm the baby. Who else? Not Nigel. Who else has seen the name tag in your diaper that you wear when you read those spots? Because you dress like a baby when you read the spots.

I'm very method. Your dad would not stop talking about that. And that's it. We're done. That's amazing. I am so... Welcome to the show, Pete Holmes.

Let's play the Leonard Maltin game. Pete Holmes, everybody. Give it up for Pete Holmes. Thank you for having me. I'm so sorry. Man. We miss you,

but we had a great time. I'm glad. Traffic is the worst. You know when you hate everybody? You're dead. You are dead. What is the worst. You know when you hate everybody? You're dead. You are dead. What is happening right now?

Two TJs on the show. Dueling TJs. Oh my God. Dueling TJs. Oh my God. It did bomb. Why did that bomb? Because people sitting over there couldn't even tell that was you.

They thought he was still talking. What is happening? That is not me. I'm in Yogi Bear. I'm in Yogi Bear 3D. You both sound not me. I'm in Yogi Bear. I'm in Yogi Bear 3D. You both sound like me. It did better. I don't know.

We had to lead them to it. Lead them to it. Don't ever say that on stage. Take them by the hand. I'm in Yogi Bear. I'm Yogi Bear. Dad, it's not Nigel. Yeah.

It's like staring in a mirror. You say what is happening right now. What is happening? That's like the movie The Change-Up where they hire two actors that are sometimes confused for one another and go pretend to be each other. Oh, that's going to be hard.

We're both going to be all snarky and smart-alecky and handsome. Yeah, they're handsome. I've been doing a joke lately. I invite everyone to do this. Every time I see an advertisement for The Change-Up, no matter if I'm with people or not, I go, ooh, The Change-Up.

Just like I'm verbally, vocally excited about the movie. I'll be talking about something else. I'll be like, yeah, so I don't know what's going on tomorrow. Ooh, The Change-Up. That's coming out soon. Anyway, and I'll go back into it. Try it. It's really been making my days better.

It really has. I think it could be a fun movie. Try it for seven days. It could be a fun movie into it. Try it. It's really been making my days better. It really has. I think it could be a fun movie. Try it for seven days. It could be a fun movie, though. Try it for one week. Can I change it to Winnie the Pooh? Yeah, that's a fun one. But when I see a commercial for the change-up. Ooh, ooh, Winnie the Pooh. How insane would that look? You're just walking around Los Angeles. Ooh, Winnie the Pooh. Whenever you see the

change-up. That would be crazy. It would. How do they switch bodies? That's what I want to know. Oh, they're both peeing into a fountain and they both wish

that they had each other's life even though the one guy is just saying it. He doesn't even mean it. Really? Yeah. It's so sad. I don't even care.

I think the movie should start. Holy shit, I'm in your body. I'm in your body. Yeah. I don't need 20 minutes of oh, my life is this, your life is that. We accept it as a form. He should answer his phone and just be like, I'm Jason Bateman now. And that's the name of the character.

Yeah, it's human beings. I'm now Jason Bateman. Human beings aren't going to be like, hold on. Are we supposed to believe the wishing well thing after we don't know what their lives are like and how different they are? Bullshit. we don't know what their lives are like and how different they are? Bullshit.

That's a great idea, though, to have, they should do a movie where two famous actors switch bodies and have to live as the other actor and they play themselves playing the other guy. That's actually,

yeah, that is a good idea. Get Travolta and Nicolas Cage to do it again. I always say that Nicolas Cage kind of nailed Travolta but not vice versa one was better at the other Nicolas Cage is an amazing actor he's good

it's his fucked up stupid hair is the problem I didn't see the new Bad Lieutenant it's fucking amazing I love it I really really love it I also have to remove the Abel Ferrara category from the game now. One guy yelped. One guy verbally yelped.

Not Abel Ferrara. Have you guys seen the Tooth Fairy with The Rock? I haven't. You have to watch it. It's insane. You have to see it. It's bad, right? Well, we rewound it an hour into it

because we're like, wait. What the fuzz were you in a classroom? Me and my friend John. John Merriman. I thought you were going to be like John Mayer. John Mayer. And he was like, play this shit again. John Mayer.

It's his fairy movie. And you had to rewind it. Why? Just because we couldn't realize... We couldn't figure out how did we get... How did we get here and who's this family? Like he has this vague relationship to this woman and children

but they never like kiss. You don't like it's like he's her husband. That's the issue you had with the tooth fairy. No, no. Wait a minute. Wait. I can't believe you put it on. The tooth fairy. You don't even know like why he's like and he like hates the tooth fairy. You don't even know why he's like,

and he hates the tooth fairy. I don't know. It's really baffling. And then he becomes, you never really figure out why he became a tooth fairy or how that all happened. I think it's in the first five minutes. He does something wrong.

I saw the game though. Yeah, but it's all very vague. What's the one where he's the football player and he has a little girl? All of these movies. What is the game plan? That, but it's all very vague. What's the one where he's the football player and he has a little girl? All of these movies What is the game plan? That girl was just straight up like,

game plan. I've been thinking about it all day. Listeners at home, I stood up. That was threatening. That's what I'm going to do from now on.

I'm going to say to people, what's the game plan for today? And they're going to be like, well, I'm going to go, no, no, no. I mean, when are we going to watch? That's amazing. That's a great tweet.

Pete has a story about a friend of ours that John Mayer was racist. I have a game called the Leonard Walton game that we have to play. It's people. Listeners would be furious as with the people here. John Mayer is racist. Everybody pull out your name tags

and you guys pick a name tag Who you want to play for Go get it Go physically take it from them Yeah I know Pete I know you just were in traffic So this is disorienting But get your baby ass out into the crowd

And pick somebody Brendan did it fast He went with the person who wrote Sam And then in parentheses I am But he also drew green eggs and ham So it's like a Sean Penn Dr. Seuss crossover Reference on his name tag

Or her name tag Sam Sam is a girl Mine was on a baseball But it says Jordan It's amazing how Jordan He gets picked every week. Where the fuck is Jordan? You son of a bitch.

Yo, you lost when you picked him. And now he's back. He gets picked by how many people now? Seven or eight? Five. Holy shit. And it's the same fucking ball. Really?

Boys love baseballs with Jordan written on them. I must have had like a mobile or something. The way he holds it too is just very like, if you don't pick me, I'm going to throw this at your balls. Yeah, it is. It's scary. And he kind of has hair that implies that he has a knife in his car. Now, what is this that you have, TJ? A medical marijuana

license. Oh my God. Somebody gave up their license for this. Your actual license. Yeah, to prove that it's her. And sell to an underage girl. Let me see this. She looks attractive. Oh, no, wait.

She is an underage. That's an attractive driver's license photo because usually you're all like, squank. Well, squank? Your last name is Areola? Laurelola. Where is she?

Just one guy's like, yeah! Because he probably calls her that. Call her L'Oreal. It's your older brother who bullies you. That's like our thing. We really don't need IDs or anything, but that's still nice. What's her name?

Nicole is being played for by TJ. And Brendan's going to play for Sam I Am. And you're playing for Jordan. You signed this. Yeah. Let that be a lesson. If anybody here wants to get picked, have a baseball and look like playing for Jordan. You signed this. Yeah. Let that be a lesson. If anybody here wants to get picked, have a baseball and look like a scary Jesus.

Scary Jesus. Scary Jesus. He looks pretty friendly to me, but... You know, he played it coy, actually. If he gets picked a lot, he's really like a smooth criminal. You know what I mean? Because he didn't... There was nothing behind his eyes.

He was just kind of like, whatever, who gives a shit? It's like a male comedy magnet. Yeah, dudes. Girls never picked it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? I don't have a lot of girls on anyway.

Really, we're just coming at you. We're like, you're my father. Be my father. Just be my father for a second. I was never good at sports. Now I'm fine. Scary Jesus. All right, TJ, we're entering.

You guys, this is the treacherous territory we're entering right now where this game has to be finished in 14 minutes. Let's do it. I won't talk. Yeah, let's strap the Riff guns on your belts. You mean Riff machine gun. Yeah. Oh, no, I didn't mean that.

I'll let Pete go first because he's the newbie. Okay. And you've seen this game played before, right? I could stand a refresher, but go ahead. I'll pretend I know what I'm doing. Oh, I love that. It's going to work out great. Here are your category options.

At Nicholas A. Carson suggested Almost Famous. That's movies featuring Edward James Olmos. Edward James Olmos. Yeah, I get it. At Husky Rump suggested Flash Grodin, which is movies featuring Charles Grodin. And then a third category is very popular with people that aren't great at the game,

called In Theaters Now. That's motion pictures that are in a thousand or more theaters now. That's like in a hotel where they're like, you can get movies that are currently in the theater. Yeah, and you can. I want this. You just fucking, Harry Potter's going to be in a movie theater tomorrow. Someone threw a dime at me, Doug. Is that a thing?

It's going to be in a movie theater, I just said. Of course. Who threw this? Fucking look at me. Hey, each one of you, relax, relax. They were saying, on a scale of one to ten, you're a... Ten. Thank you.

I'll put it in my priest pocket. You're a priest. Somebody really throw a dime at you? They did. Anti-sympathism. On a scale of slowing down the game to slowing down the game. Go, Doug, go. See, see.

In theaters now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This movie's in theaters now. So I'm going to guess the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to give you some clues, and then you guys are going to bid on how many names you think it would take you to get it. It's this game that you see every time you come to Comedy Bang Bang early and you watch

the rest of the show. Yeah. I've seen you there. I know. And I'm always in the back. I looked over and went, oh, there's that baby. My therapist has said, I find it very fitting that you voice a baby. Really?

No way. That's me? Wow. That's not a therapist. I would have punched him in the face. Bully therapist. You shit yourself at every session? I'm trying to breastfeed it.

That was very profound and interesting. Leonard calls this movie harmless, which probably isn't what they were going for. And he also says that it... You guys do know that Doug will orgasm if he can't find He says that the whimsy in this movie seems forced at times. So it's got forced whimsy

but it's harmless and there are That's a good name for an impromptu. And there are 11 names listed. So how many names do you think so a good opening bid would probably be 11 names How many names do you think it would take you, Pete Holmes to guess the name of this movie? Yeah, 11. Okay, good opening bid. Then be 11 names. How many names do you think it would take you, Pete Holmes, to guess the name of this movie? Yeah, 11.

Okay, good opening bid. Then we come over here to TJ. 10. Would you say Forrest Whimsey? I'd say 10. Is that all the info? Forrest Whimsey and Harmless? Yeah, and it's in theaters now.

Right. It's a pretty big clue. Okay. I'll go I'll go Seven See Pete Now you have to go Lore or say to him

Name that movie Name it man Oh my god I didn't mean to Force you into that Alright so you get Seven names Yeah

That's in theaters now Your seven names are Rob Riggle George Takei Nia Vardalos, Pam Greer, Wilmer Valderrama, Gugu Motha Ra, that's the best

pronunciation I can come up with, and Tajari P. Henson. Oh, Tajari. Yeah. So now it's on Brendan to guess. Is it Bad Teacher? No. But that was a good guess, because it Bad Teacher? No.

No? But that was a good guess because that's in theaters now. But the actual answer is Larry Crown. George Takei. You know, how many movies

have I heard of him? I thought he was talking about being in Bad... Yeah, I didn't know. Oh, you thought he said he was in Bad Teacher. Yeah. And Nia Vardalos is in it

because she co-wrote it with Tom Hanks. I don't know who Nia Vardalos is. My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Anyway. Nice job, Pete Holmes. You got a point. I got a point?

Yeah. Yay, Pete. What is happening right now? You did it. That's what's happening. You totally got that right. I am so bad at this. I think I couldn't name a movie that's just in theaters if that was the clue.

Yeah, that's part of the fun of that category, is, you know, at least if you say a movie that's in theaters right now, you have a shot. Yeah. You know, I mean, Winnie the Pooh would have been a bad guess. I love that fucking movie. I don't think I've ever seen it. It's got good reviews. Winnie the Pooh? You're against any other bear movies?

Yeah, Leonard liked it. Is that a threat to you and your people? Oh, man. Don't get him you and your people? Oh, man. Don't get him started on Grizzly Man. He's like, oh, shit, yo, so I gotta die?

That is not real. I gotta die? They don't even show the guy's head getting eaten. It's a bad movie. Is Winnie the Pooh, he's a bear? He is a bear.

He's always in that fucking hut. They call him a pooh, but he's a bear. Ugh. All right, we're going to start a bear in a half shirt, which is kind of weird. We'll see how it does. It's a sexy shirt poo has on.

We're going to start with you, TJ. Okay. You get to pick a category. Then in my new reverse order system, we go to Pete Holmes. Oh, jeez. Friday. I think we've all been very excited about the reverse order system. Friday I think we've all been very excited about the reverse order system

Friday when this movie I mean when this podcast plops It's going to be Albert Brooks' birthday On Friday July 22 So Albert Brooks films Either starring or directed by I think all the ones he directed he was actually in as well

So any movie that he's in would qualify Summer blockbusters It's summer blockbuster season, you guys. Let's look back at one from the past. Have some fun with it. And then, got to stay on the birthday theme because there's some really good birthdays today. There's like five or six good ones,

but I got to go with, on Friday, it's going to be Willem Dafoe's birthday. Yeah, the original shithead. What a strange culture. Which one of those would you like, TJ? Albert Brooks, Summer Blockbusters, or Wilhelm Dafoe? I feel like I have a better shot with Albert Brooks. What?

I feel like I have a better shot with Albert Brooks. So that's the one you're picking? But it would be fun to do the Summer. Okay, Albert Brooks. Okay. This Albert Brooks movie is from 1991. Leonard says it's full of funny ideas and it's hard to dislike.

Yeah, sit there and try. Three stars, 1991. And it's an Albert Brooks movie and there are ten names. How many names do you think you get in TJ Miller? Nine. My friend TJ Miller. Nine names. How many names do you think you get in TJ Miller? Nine. My friend TJ Miller. Nine names?

Mm-hmm. All right. And then we go to Pete. So I definitely can't do it, so. Jesus. What does that mean? You don't have to open. Name that movie, Pete.

Name that movie. Who's that? Should I make him name it? Yeah. He's a scared baby. I am a frightened baby. I think if you say eight names. Yeah.

Or how many? What did you say? He said nine. Nine, yeah. I think if you say eight names, Brendan, it would be weird for him to say name that movie to you at this point. All right, eight names.

But maybe he will. Maybe. Eight names. I've shown my weakness. Hit him with it hard. Hit him with it hard. Hit him with it hard. Next time. Get him.

He took the point from you. I'll say, I think I know what it is. Do you know what it is? So go zero names or negative names. I might know. I mean,

I know his films were around that time. Four. Oh, shit. Okay. Well, then name that movie. Oh, man. Here we go. You get to name it. Now if you fuck it up, you're going to die. All right. Okay. Well, then name that movie. Oh, man. Here we go.

You get to name it. Fuck it up. You're going to die. All right. Your four names, and I think there's nine, actually. Yeah, there's nine names, actually. But your four names are Ethan Embry, Peter Shuck, Lillian Lehman, and George D. Wallace. And there's five names remaining, and it's an Albert Brooks movie from 1991.

So if you name an Albert Brooks movie, you have a good shot at this. Is it The Muse? No. Fuck! The rest of the names are Buck Henry, Lee Grant, Rip Torn, Meryl Streep. Defending Your Life was 91?

Defending Your Life. I thought it was that. I thought that was like 80-something. I couldn't remember the exact name of it. I thought it was the casino one. Which one was that. I thought that was like 80 something. I couldn't remember the exact name of it. I thought it was the casino one. Which one was that? Modern Romance. No, no, no.

Lost in America. So you got the point? Yeah. Yeah, so now Pete has a point. TJ has a point. I'm just kidding. Brandon's sitting over there. Brandon, you should have knocked him down.

He wasn't going to be able to get it. I mentioned real quick what we're playing for. over there. Brendan, you should have knocked it down. He wasn't going to be able to get it. Well, I fight your showboating. I'm going to mention real quick what we're playing for. We're playing for, Brendan brought a copy of Patton Oswalt and Zach Galifianakis performing Drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Who wouldn't want that?

I, of course, brought a woot monkey. Brought another woot monkey to shoot into the crowd, as I always do. And then... Wow. That big guy grabbed it and was like, this is mine.

Just getting this over with. I am a giant. A copy of Yogi Bear, maybe in 3D depending on your TV. This is 2D. And it is... Throw that in the crowd.

And I will sign that and I'll take a picture of you. And she's out of my league in 3D. It's not a great film. This is in 3D. It's out of my league. That is in 3D. I love... He plays airport security in is in 3D. It's not a great film. It's out of my league. That is in 3D.

I love, he plays airport security in this movie, so if you ever get a chance to go through airport security with TJ, it's a lot of fun. Because they're all looking at him like, why did you make us look like dicks? And then, you didn't know. Yeah, I just defended him. But I hate the real TSA. You hate them? Yeah, they're awful.

Okay. I don't want you to get an extra pat down just because you said that And of course a copy of my CD, Doug Betts Professional Humor Idiot So that's what we're playing for today It's a nice prize package for Nokel Nokel, Nicole, or Sam Or Jordan Or Jordan

Jordan, five times at the plate Jordan in his baseball uniform Always strikes out This is your chance What are you doing? What's happening? Huh? My phone's in the bag?

That's a bonus. I have done that so many times. Jordan is so helpful. You just put everything away. I'm like, Jordan, can it wait until after the show? What are you trying to tell me? I'll be putting away socks, and then I'll just start putting away things on top of it.

Jordan's always on the ball because he's from the state of Denver. Now let's finish this game. The state of Denver. Yeah, and he's on the ball. All of that was great. Okay, here we go.

I'm in the state of Denver. So TJ got that point. It means we start with Pete. Then we go to Brendan. And Pete, you get a pick between... Summer Blockbusters. Fair enough. Independence Day.

In an attempt to... Give me the point. Give me the point. We're only playing to two points, so that would have been amazing if that were correct, because I would have given it to you. Because we've only got five minutes left. But we're going to play this.

We're going to play this for real. Welcome to Earth, bitch. Sorry, I'm thinking about Independence Day. Man, Will Smith is the coolest. I thought you were practicing for a future E-Trade spot. Welcome to Earth, bitch. Try to get the E-Trade baby who loves the Will Smith and his whole family.

You should make that part of the backstory of the E-Trade baby. So I'm talking to Jada Pinkett the other day. He can. He can improvise. He's improvised once all the time.

It's amazing. Do it. Do that one. All right. This summer blockbuster is from 2004. That's when Alright, this summer blockbuster is from 2004. That's when it was a summer blockbuster. Leonard Maltin gives it three stars.

He says about this, he says that Wow. Everything gives it away. He says that it's episodic And he also says that A couple actors add spunk Okay relax kids

Jesus So those are horrible clues But there's a lot of names There's In case you were thinking Jizz It's not There's 21 names Pete Get it

How many names You think you can get it in 10 names Nice opening bid Now we go to Brendan 9 Fucking get him No hit him

9 he says What are you doing I don't He says 9 names TJ Name that movie Oh wow Me again

Yes What What don't you understand About this It's happened 3 times Name that movie. Oh, wow. Me again? Yes. What don't you understand about this? It's happened three times in a row. Not really. Stop using that voice. I'm kicking myself.

It's happened. Brandon, it's happened three times. Yogi Bear. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. One day Pete will be able to do his Jada Pinkett Smith improv. What if the E-Trade people are listening and they're like, we like that voice better

and they hire TJ. Maybe talk like that from now on. I'd take that. Okay, here's your nine names, Brandon. What was it again? It's a summer blockbuster from 2004 that's a couple of things that I said about. Episodic and a couple of the actors had spunk. There's some additional spunk in I said about it. Episodic. And a couple of the actors

add spunk. Spunk, yeah. Episodically. There's some additional spunk in this movie. A little too much spunk, said Roger Ebert. He didn't say that.

Oh, I see. You're quoting a different guy. Okay. You believe me? Roger Ebert said a little too much spunk. Pete, who doesn't have a phone out,

says, Roger Ebert said, I'm done with the bet. Wait, what was that in context? I just, we're out of time. This is Leonard Maltin, not Roger. You know that. Leonard Maltin.

Oh, I'm sorry. Jesus. Would you fucking get it together, Pete? God. Julie Christie, Pam Ferris, Lenny Henry, Warwick Davis, Don French, David David Bradley Julie Walters Tom Felton And Emma Thompson Are your nine names

Independence Day Everybody thinks they know it Nine was good Except for the E-Trade baby Guesses wrong Nine is Welcome to Earth What do you think?

Emma Thompson Yeah Rockbuster Uh huh 2004 Hard to imagine right? Can't be that movie Where she has the mole on her face

It's 94 Not 2004 Nanny Mcfuck you no what year is it i believe he said 94 right 2004 i thought i think i said 2004 yeah really yeah what are you doing um it's independence 2004 quiet baby sorry it's time to put down the baby ah nobody puts baby in the corner. Legally, I can't laugh at that. It's contractual that I cannot laugh at jokes denigrating the baby. Don't denigrate the baby.

What do you think there, Brendan? If you miss it, I'm thrilled, because then TJ's the winner. If you don't miss it, it's a three-way tie. We have to play one more round. lot of writing on this Nicole drag Nicole into this Thompson could be you want the other names you're dwelling on yeah what whoa Tom Felton do you know who that is that gives it away completely I don't I don't know I don't know the fuck. Warwick Davis narrows it down to only a handful of movies. Are you serious? Yeah. Okay, I don't know any of these names. She is one of the

greatest Australian actresses of her time. You don't know Edward Shum? Julie Walters in Gone French. There's no good clues. I mean, you know, I'm saying this from a position of looking at it. If I were in your shoes, I probably wouldn't know it either. Zat Tom White. I would know it. When I heard Tom Felton, I'd know it.

Tom, yeah. William Fagone. How's it for Blockbuster? Warwick Davis. Anything? Just guess a summer blockbuster. Warwick Davis. Warwick Davis.

What was that one with all the old assassins? But that was more recent. The old assassins? Yeah, yeah. It had like Clint Eastwood and shit in it. Was he in that? I don't pay attention to things. But it was old assassins, right? Old assassins? Yeah, yeah. It had like Clint Eastwood and shit in it. Was he in that? I heard you say it on PlayStation. No, Clint Eastwood wasn't in that.

But it was Old Assassins, right? Old Assassins. Yeah, I don't know. I can't even fucking... I don't even know a 2004 blockbuster. All right. George, I don't know. What was it?

Everyone knows it. I mean, you might not know which specific one it is. It's Harry Potter and... Prisoner of Azkaban. Oh. Prisoner of Azkaban. Oh. Prisoner of Azkaban. Oh, my God. Look, all the nerds showed themselves.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You've got to be a nerd to see the biggest movie in the world. Bigger than any movie you've been in. I'm not... Hey. Easy. Hey, you know what else that's true about?

Every other movie. I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the guy from Spy Kids. But you're the winner, TJ. Congratulations. Yeah. I won and I was insulted. No.

Episodic. I don't think that's insulting. That's just a fact. That movie's made more money than any other movie that you've been in. And it did it in one weekend. That's true. And I can say confidently now I'll never be in a film that makes more money than the Harry Potter franchise.

And that's okay with me. I don't think that's true. I think that's a terrible prediction. It's like the highest grossing franchise of all time, right? The franchise is, yeah. But one of your individual movies might do better.

I don't know. I don't think so. Dragon 2 is going to tear it up. Maybe. If I'm still in it. Is the script good? Did they show you the whole thing? No, you can't see any of the script. Everything 2 is going to tear it up. Maybe. If I'm still in it. Is the script good? Did they show you the whole thing? No, you can't see any of the script.

Everything's secret now because the internet sucks. It does. No, everything sucks because the internet's great. I don't know what the fuck just happened. I think my mind stopped. Pete Holmes, you got anything to plug? Yeah, my new show, Kid Kid Farm kidfarmshow.com is a funny new web show

super funny check that out it's talking babies again? it's me interacting with real babies which is more fun I think actually sometimes I pick them up

and I go hey Doug you ever think I prefer the E-Trade commercials that's my father my greatest work Brendan Walsh

what do you got coming up? I'm the worst at this game Aren't I? That's No I'm the worst I'm the worst in you That's No no

I wouldn't have known Tom Felton's the kid That plays Draco In every movie Isn't that his name? What's his name? I haven't seen any of them Honestly I haven't seen

Any of them either I'll I don't know He's the son of Draco I don't know September Second Is there anyone named Draco in Harry Potter?

Draco? Draco, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Draco. Everybody knows that. His name is D-R-A-K-O. Draco. Yeah. It's how to train your Draco.

That sounds like a racial term. Your Dragone. Shut up, Dragone. Hey, could you train my Dragoon? I had to say it because it was true. What do you got to plug, buddy? I'll be in Kirkland, Washington at Laughs. That's awesome, yeah.

In September. September 2nd and 3rd. All right. I don't think I really have it. Wait, wait, wait. Labor Day weekend? Oh, I guess. Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to be at Bumbershoot that weekend. We should try to hang out. Okay. Yeah, Kirkland I'm going to be at Bumbershoot that weekend. We should try to hang out. Okay. Yeah, Kirkland is like a million miles away. Where do you guys meet up? Just call each other. We'll try to meet in the middle somewhere. All I would get from that is,

oh, you're not doing Bumbershoot this year? No, no, I'm going to be at Laugh's. Kirkland. You can't do it every year. Where's Sam at? Get him over here, Sam. I need you to write down someone for me to call a shithead at the end of the show. Yeah, it is exciting.

I don't know what to make of her attitude. Well, that's exciting. And who are you playing for? Oh, you're playing for Jordan. Jordan, of course, gets to step up. Who's that? Just the first name? Give the whole name.

Do it. Let's lay into him. It's me saying it. It's me saying it. Can I say I'll be in Kansas City at Stanford and Sons Wednesday through Saturday featuring for my friend Nick Vatteron. Wednesday through Saturday of this week?

This week. As always, that plug is going to be completely missed by most people because this doesn't come out until Friday. I'll also be in Montreal. But go see him on Saturday. Yeah, see me on Saturday and come to... I'm in Montreal.

Anyone who's near Montreal, the 27th through the 30th, let's eat poutine and make fun of my voice. Oh, yeah. I'll also be there. We'll probably on... Then that actually will actually happen and that makes me sad. All right, well, we're only four minutes over, so that's not too bad. Thank you once again to TJ Miller, Brandon Walsh. Sorry some of the jokes were...

Peace out, homie! Just got off a plane, so... People, stay here. Stay here, you guys. Stay in your seats. I've got to get a picture of you all together, smiling happily, like a family, at the end of the show. But first, I have to say this.

Patrick St. John is a shithead. Ooh. Ooh. Sounds like he cures headaches. Hello. I am Patrick St. John. Do you have any Patrick St. John? And I'm a shithead?

I will cure your headache. He sounds like an herb. Despite the shithead thing. He sounds like an herb. I like that guy, Tax Master's guy, Patrick Cox, with the crazy beard. He sounds like an herb. Despite the shithead thing. He sounds like an herb. I like that guy, Tax Master's guy, Patrick Cox, with the crazy beard.

He looks like a mole man. His commercials should be like, hi, I'm Patrick Cox, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then somebody must have told him, oh, you gotta be more friendly and likable. So his new commercial,

he's like, hey, I'm Patrick Cox. Or whatever his name is. And then he goes into his dry speech about saving you from financial ruin. And also, as usual, according to Jordan, Steve Carell is a shithead.

Why is he a shithead? Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.