Doug Loves Movies - Todd Glass, Rory Scovel, Alison Rosen, and "Bald Bryan" Bishop Guest

Episode Date: August 16, 2012

Doug welcomes comedians Todd Glass, Rory Scovel, Alison Rosen, and "Bald Bryan" Bishop to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates any rappers screaming 80s 50s He's with 50 as in my part, dribbled with 50 There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies Hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles before Comedy Bang Bang's weekly live show.

Who's staying for Comedy Bang Bang? People, that's what. They're doing a show every tuesday but uh this is tuesday august 14th two oceans 12th since last i spoke and you listen not much has happened because the last douglas movies was taped last night let me tell you about my day i i did catch up on episodes of Louie and Breaking Bad which are, yeah, which are better than most movies. I said it. I love

movies, but shit, that's, those are good movies. Louie and Breaking Bad. From the corrections department, it's the never-ending story. I know. Who cares? Who cares? it's the never ending story I know who cares who cares I sound like I care when we're playing the games

but then once the game's over I don't need to really hear about it now it's time for you know what I mean like let's say you're playing charades with your friends and then the next day somebody's like but that one answer was wrong like we were

fucking playing charades last night man walk away or should i say that was a great side gag pulling the whole mic onto the stage behind me now it's time for Watch This, Not That. The number one movie in the country is The Bourne Legacy. Is that what it's called? I keep thinking I'm getting it wrong. All the Bourne movies are so vague because you can't reveal everything with the title.

The Bourne Happenstance. I called it Bourne now. Now it's Bourne. Anyway, I don't know and haven't met Jeremy Renner. The number two movie is The Campaign. I know Zach Galifianakis and I've met Will Ferrell, so watch The Campaign, not Born Legacy. This has been Watch This, Not That,

name-dropping edition. My friends over at Earwolf, love them at Earwolf. They have two new specials available. First, my buddy James Adomian who's been on this show numerous times. Almost always as himself.

In fact, just one time he wasn't himself. And we're both sorry about that one. You know him as characters like He-Wil Houser and Jesse Ventura. about that one. You know him as characters like Hewell Hauser and Jesse Ventura. Those are half-assed versions of it. If you want the real shit, Comedy Bang Bang

has a debut album from him called Low Hanging Fruit, and it's available by visiting Earwolf.com slash James Adomian. Also, my buddy Scott Aukerman just finished his Comedy Bang Bang summer tour performing his podcast uh live all over the place with uh names like uh nick kroll matt

besser james adomian the aforementioned uh paul of top kids tim heidecker more all 14 episodes are available for 25 bucks at store.earwolf.com. The prize bag, another thing I was tripping over earlier this evening, is there's so much shit going on that I think for once, or not for once, but we'll go back to the old format of going over it with the guests. From my end, we have a copy of both of my first and my fifth CDs. Oh, I accidentally put two of these in here, professional humor idiots. Let me just give one away to the guy sitting next to Jordan.

One of the guests just brought a shirt that he's not that into. So we'll have to ask him about that. so we'll have to ask him about that and yeah I brought a Doug Loves Movies shirt courtesy of Ryan McMenamin producer of the program and of the shirts and let's get him out here guys

please welcome Allison Rosen Bald Brian Bishop Todd Glass and Rory Scovel applause applause applause applause glass and Rory Scoville Doug did you already do the thing where you explain what all the gifts are because mine need explanation no that's why I didn't even drag him out of the bag. Oh, good.

Because everybody brought such crazy shit. Todd brought this shirt that he doesn't like very much. Did they lower those lights a little bit? Did you try it on? What are you, Jimmy Dore? Yeah, can we try Jimmy lowering the lights just a tad? I was at a comedy club with Todd Glass, and I watched him unscrew bulbs. And then I watched people from the club curse him and find more bulbs. I agree with Todd Glass and I watched him unscrew bulbs and then I watched people from the club curse him

and find more bulbs. I agree with Todd. I think we should just do this in pitch darkness because the listeners, that's all they're getting. See, now everyone that's here for the show live is just like, I could have just listened to this shit while I was at work.

Now I'm spending my spare time listening to what I could have listened to while I was at work. I did utilize that my spare time listening to what I could have listened to while I was at work. I did utilize that to adjust my crotch, so thank you. I feel better because I'm not thinking about my thighs. Holy crap. I was getting excited about doing the whole show in the dark where you turn the lights back on. That was fun.

That's how the listeners listen to it. That's right, Todd. Some listeners are going to be wearing this and listening to it in the future. Wait, do you mean that listeners at home turn all the lights off and sit in the dark? They don't see. Oh, it's like I'm there.

It's like I'm in my radio. This comes on a radio, right? That's how people used to listen to my radio. This comes on a radio, right? That's how people used to listen to the radio. So that's Todd Glass. He also brought a copy of Live from the George Carlin Room. Well, let me explain what that CD is if you already have it. Yeah, if you've got

like 20 minutes to spare, tell us about it. Oh, Doug, don't get fresh. I released a CD called that Comedy Central put out and it's called Thin Pig but then I made it under a new cover to sell at a comedy club so I bootlegged my own CD

I'm not scared of them anymore let them come at me I've sold 8 ok so Comedy Central it's Todd Glass that you want to come after to get your $4 Okay, so Comedy Central, it's Todd Glass that you want to come after. Yeah. To get your... Shit, what if they do?

To get your four dollars. Yeah, right. Whatever it is. Roy Scovel's here, and he brought a copy of his CD called Violation. That's also just thin pick. I just have a new cover. Why haven't any of us done that yet? Let's do that.

Let's each do each other's material and record it and put it out as an album. Doug Benson doing Thin Pig. I'll just do Thin Pig from start to finish, my version of it, and then we'll put it out and we'll split the profits. That is a good idea.

You know who I could do? I wouldn't be doing an impression of you, Todd. I'd do it my way. Like, first of all, material. Nine CDs sold. Nine CDs now. Jokes like that. You just sold one. Or seven. This is a great idea.

Someone returned it. Someone returned an MP3. This is a great idea. Can I do you? I'll do you Doug loves movies That came alive for the listeners at home Hey everybody Yeah, he was doing the long pause that happens

Because I never get The applause always ends before I reach into the bag And pull out what I'm going to say Even though what I'm going to say is the same thing every week. Hey, Todd Glass. My name is Doug. What I liked about what you said was, yeah, you don't have to do an impersonation. It would just be cool to see someone's version of somebody else, right?

Is that what you're saying? You know, you could throw in new tags and stuff. I could do Brian Regan. Brian Regan, Brian Regan. I'd love it if it was unannounced. That's just trading up. That's just getting somebody's materials better than yours. How dare you?

You're controversial. I think of us as the same, you and me. Silly. Except for all the differences. Remember, we did the same joke, but we agreed. We probably had the most amicable agreement. Doug was doing a joke, and we're both silly, so none of us thought you'd, we just knew we both

thought of it, and the joke was I used to go to people in the audience, but I really, so I can do impersonations. I don't do a famous people, but I do them to people in the audience. And then I would go, I'll tell them the bit. Are you about to do some crowd work? He always does it by telling a story about crowd work. What's your name, sir, with the baseball? What's your name? No, no, you're right. I was going a little long.

So then I asked him to count. Well, I'm going to finish. Ask that guy. Ask that guy right there. Well, I say, count to five, and try to not do a funny voice. I really sold it well. And then no matter what they did, they'd go, one, two, three, four, five. And I'd be like, uh.

I go, that's how you sound. You don't know it because you don't like the way you sound. Doug told me he did the same bit. He goes, do you do a bit like that? I go, yeah. So you know how we agreed? No other comedians have ever come to this easy of an agreement. We both went, you want to both do same bit He goes, do you do a bit like that? I go, yeah, so you know how we agreed No other comedians have ever come to this easy of an agreement We both went, you want to both do it?

He goes, yeah You really like that story? They would have liked it more if you looked like you liked it a little As a matter of fact, I think they got nervous You didn't like it They were like, ah, Doug doesn't like it Doug wasn't crazy about that banter I was just thinking of this thing I'm about to say

Some improvisers are yes and, but you are yes but. Thank you, in a way. You go along with what was happening, but then it's all yours. I didn't know there was going to be philosophy on this podcast. There's a copy of The Grey right here on this desk right now. Did you bring this, Brian? I did. We gave a few copies of those away on the film vault, and we had one left over. So, new copy of The Grey right here on this desk right now. Did you bring this, Brian? I did. We gave a few copies of those away on the film vault, and we had one left over.

So, new copy of The Grey. Yeah, a lot of podcasts are represented up here tonight. Of course, the Adam Carolla podcast, of which Allison and Brian are members. Sure. And so we've got an Adam Carolla. What am I getting? I don't know what that is. We've got an Adam Carolla hat and an Adam Carolla podcast DVD.

And what else, Allison, what did you bring? A copy of a magazine I don't want, but I signed it and drew some ducks on it. And a book by Alex from Real Housewives of New York, because she was on my show when I lived in New York, and she brought an extra copy and signed it, and I was going to give it to a viewer but forgot. This? Yeah.

Hello. Big, little kids, big city? Put it on eBay. That sounds like a visiting pedophile's guidebook. All right, let's see. I'm on 23rd and Lex. Yeah. All right.

He's got it dog-eared. Got a bald Brian t-shirt. And I wanted to get that magazine out because I'm dying to see those ducks. You got me excited about the ducks. Oh, yeah. See, there's a big one, and they're being followed by littler ones.

Yeah, and they're all on Kristen Stewart's shoulder. She might be surrounded by ducks. You don't know. And I also brought a t-shirt that I don't want anymore. And a t-shirt that maybe someone else will want, which is an Alison Rosen is your best friend, that's my podcast t-shirt. That's a collector's item, actually.

Because I don't think people know that I have those. I mean, I haven't, it's not like, let me rephrase. I have not put the word out that these exist. I'd like to see you wear that shirt to Disneyland or somewhere. Just walk around with your own shirt on. I feel like people like when you do that. Do they?

No, not at all. Is that bad? I don't know. Do you do that? Is this a Todd Glass Henley shirt? No, I wouldn't wear it. I mean, my own shirt from a shirt that I would sell or something. I don't have any shirt? No, I wouldn't wear it. I mean, a shirt, my own shirt from like a shirt that I would sell or something. I don't have

any, but no, I wouldn't do that. Let me ask you this, Todd. Would you do that? You wear your own shirt. Todd, can I ask it? No, I meant I would. Maybe I could jump in. I like to be agreeable. I'm kidding, I would never do that. Shut up, you think I don't know that?

Let's talk movies. I'm listening. I got a movie thing. Shut up, you think I don't know that? Let's talk movies. I'm listening. I got a movie thing. Oh, what did you want to ask me? Do you know what movies are? Yes, yes, yes. I like how you're a little offended by that. Like, yes, of course I know what those are. I tried to think.

We work in slow, like a 60 Minutes interview. And then, have you seen one lately? You know, I was trying to think of that coming out here. Yeah. And in all fairness, you just did ask me to do it a little while ago, right? Yeah, and you don't have to see a movie to be on. But I just find it fascinating how few movies you see. I'm not proud of it.

There's no reason to be proud of it or ashamed of it. It's just weird. Do you know how to find them or what's why? That was the worst I know I couldn't get a good one no like that was that was

I don't know why it just seems like a lot of work you know for me for anyone listening at home Todd sometimes hits me

yeah I just make sure to get the full effect of it yeah no the listeners had no idea it was hitting you because neither of you even bothered to

tap a microphone when you did it. The last movie that I saw, I think... Fake hit me, Allison. God damn it, Doug. Are you okay? Oh, that's a way to do it. I do... Do you have a towel for real? In case I sweat, yeah.

I love that. I saw you burying your face In that backstage And I thought Maybe there was Some kind of Smelling salt There is

There is Is it towel full Of bath salts No no It's just Because I sweat Rory's face Looks delicious

Tonight by the way You know what's Almost as effective As bringing a towel On stage Is not wearing A black long sleeve shirt I didn't know

I was going to be Picked on by everybody Oh Paul Bryan. Shut up. You shut up and take it, freak. Hit Rory. You're just... No, I do.

Well, no, the shirt's actually pretty light. The shirt's actually pretty light. But I sweat a lot. I mean, it's not like anyone could sit in this room and think that's odd that I would sweat here. Has no one ever seen John Panette perform? This is, you know... You have that with Rory.

Or any black guy I don't I don't I think it was some black dudes always have a towel on the stool that got a whole box of crispy creams oh by the way dog why would you do that you're gonna love this idea I did this once I wanted to go to Krispy Kremes I'll make this this quick. And get them to give me donuts without the cream. But I couldn't get them to do it because I had an idea and I did it. And it's fucking crazy sick good. So then I got these cream-filled donuts and then I took vanilla ice cream, put it in like a hefty

plastic bag. Not a trash bag, but like a Ziploc bag. Poked a hole in the bottom and then squeezed ice cream into the fucking donuts and then froze it. Shut. Yes. It's because inside it's like whipped cream basically. So it's like ice cream with whipped cream and then froze it. Shut? Yes. It's because inside it's like whipped cream, basically. So it's like ice cream with whipped cream

and you can eat it. It's like good ice cream cake. I love that. I love that you got an applause break for that. Well, it's not good. Ice cream donut. Because it's easy and no one thought about it.

I am opening up a place. All the best ideas are something no one thought about. Can he bring one of those up to me? Is that alright? Yeah, sure. I think he brought it as a name tag to get selected later. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't want to... But you can just have a donut if you want.

Is it your name tag or did you just bring donuts? He just brought donuts. That's so nice. I'm sure they're safe. Have two. Let me... Todd's reaction looking at the donuts,

he actually goes, God damn. Do you know you said that? Oh, did I really? God damn. This guy was starting to creep me out a little bit, Todd, so I told him

he couldn't come back again. And now this time, that guy that gave you the donuts. And now, look at that with the hat and the fake mustache. I'm not falling for it and I'm not gonna eat your poison doughnuts no would you want to get out of here you evil queen the

next time bring a healthier Apple let me let me plug his donut shop what if I was so dumb I didn't know I go let me you are crispy cream hi there you go give that place a plug. Would you really not eat one of these? I think you're lying, right? I don't, I'm not going to have one. You eat, you eat, you eat. That's not why, that's not why.

Oh yeah, because you eat food people bring, you're right. Sure. Yeah, okay. I just try, you know, I, you know, if I'm going to get calories I don't need, I want them to be in a donut full of weed, not just a regular donut. There you go. Do you know how many of these I can eat? I know how, because I did it.

What? I was at a comedy club. Are you hungry for games? What do I have to guess? How many donuts? I was at a comedy club, and I said I love Krispy Kremes. I usually have two, which does nothing for me at all. You don't even get a buzz?

No, I need one. One I may as well not have. It's just like non-existent. Two, meh. It's like Egg McMuffins. Three is where I reach my peak, where I get happy. So she goes, how many could you eat? I said, I don't want to eat them until I'm stuffed and feel gross.

That's not my goal. Just until I go, you know what? I don't want to eat them until I'm stuffed and feel gross. That's not my goal. Just until I go, you know what? I don't want any more. 11. Impressive. And I swear to you, this is true.

Everyone made fun of me at the comedy club. I went, you know, that's like, now I'm not saying this is good. I go, that's like one thick piece

of cheesecake at the Cheesecake Factor. They're going, no it is. And I go, yeah, I'm not saying that's good either, but it's not as a gluttonous as it looks. So guess what? Back the fucking Krispy Kreme I went.

I got a dozen donuts and mushed them into one piece of cake. And they were all, in all fairness, they were like, yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, if you can't do it, if it doesn't do it. Of course they agreed with you. You're psycho enough to go buy donuts and do that. Yes, no, that does.

Don't we all agree? That does look like it's the same. Jesus Christ. Well, you've got to go. When he goes back, they're all warning each other. This one goes to 11. Back to movies. Brian, have you seen anything lately?

Yeah, I saw a great... While Todd's thinking about it. I saw a great documentary yesterday called Searching for Sugar Man. Oh, yeah. What's his name? Really good. Ebert lost his mind over that movie. And his jaw. Too soon. I thought you said his jaw, but I was like he was fired for his Sugar Man

review? I can make cancer jokes. It's a funny documentary. It's a funny documentary. No, it's not funny at all. It's really good. It's a funny documentary No, it's not funny at all It's really good It's sort of like Like The Winnebago Man Or Shut Up Little Man

Sort of like a Viral thing Before the internet was around Like how this guy This obscure artist Musician Became super popular In South Africa

Kind of a whodunit Where is he now? Is he still alive? Yeah, yeah Does he even know How popular he is In another country? It's really good

I highly recommend it Yeah, yeah Not to be surprised up or not. Todd, that reminds me. You're huge in Indonesia. I've been meaning to tell you that. That's what you tell people. Remember David Hasselhoff?

When I was younger, they used to go, he's big in Germany. I called. They go, no, we don't even know who he is. Is that what he's telling everybody? Yeah, he says he's huge there. You just drunk dialed one person. By the way, when I ate 11 donuts...

Who lives in the Germany section of Epcot. What? Sorry. When I ate 11 donuts, I just thought of telling you that because I just had a creamful one. It wasn't any... It was just regular glaze. Not like... Yeah, yeah.

Did you say creamful? Creamfilled. Oh. I want creamful to be a description. One of them creamful donuts. Creamful. That was really good. Take the creamful one. Did you see a movie? Well, that's how your voice has to be. I'll of them creamful donuts. Creamful. That was really good. Take the creamful one.

Did you see a movie? Well, that's how your voice has to be. I'll take the creamful one. Okay, donut lady. Your voice checks out. Why do I need a receipt for a donut? Rory. Yes.

Movies. Seen any? I recently saw The Dark Knight Rises a second time. Ooh. And I think it's a lot better the second time. For reals? And it's way better in IMAX. I also saw The Lincoln Lawyer. Finally.

Way to change the subject. Finally. He saw it. You went from one hot film to the next. I gotta tell you, I haven't loved all of his movies lately, but McConaughey's in the fucking zone. He's doing some good acting in movies that are of varying degrees

of success. He's great in Killer Joe, but it is also fucking horrifying to sit through. Oh, okay. Yeah. I like him. Unless you really love the violent degradation of a lady,

then Killer Joe is for you. I'm on board. Allison is in. I thought of a movie I saw. Oh, okay. But I swear to you

I'm being honest. Like, I'm afraid you want other people, especially here, this audience, for some reason I want them to not think that a movie I like

they didn't like. I'm tired of people just answering questions. I love the way you ramp up to things. You do. I love it. You do? I love it, yeah.

If you have a yes or no, I'm going to slap you across the face. But if you do ten minutes on it before getting to the fucking... You're not even going to get to the point you were trying to make. I saw Adam Sandler's movie. Uh... Okay, you got there. I saw Adam Sandler's movie. Okay, you got there.

I saw Adam Sandler's movie. What was the name of it again? The new one? Yes. When you only see one movie every five years, why bother remembering what it's called? It's called Grandma's Panties. You're laughing at it like, that's silly.

That's not the name of it. No. What was it about? Tell us what it was about. Everybody knows what it was about. I'm not stupid. But what was it about to you?

And then tell us what magazines you read. I don't read magazines, but not because I... Oh, okay. You're going to dodge my hard questions? I'm trying to get to the bottom of this time.

I don't read magazines. Seriously, movies. Let's talk about... I saw Adam Sandler's movie. What happens in it? I forget the name of the movie. He was a wedding singer? No.

You're treating me like a water boy. Somebody gets... He has a love child in high school. Could you imagine if he had just seen Pelican Brief? What's it about? You know, it's laws. I thought you were asking me to see if I retained it.

And I do. I don't care if you retained it or not. I just want to know which movie we're talking about. I forget the name of it. If you say what it's about, what happens in it? That's my boy. The one with... Andy Samberg. Andy Samberg, yeah. Oh, yeah, okay, of course.

I'm afraid to... That's all you had to say to narrow down all of his movies to one movie. Oh, come on. The one with Andy Samberg. You don't think everybody in here, if I said I just saw it, I meant... Well, you might have just seen Jack and Jill. In the theater. In the theater. You went into a motion picture theater and watched it

all the way through. And I just heard a lot of bad reviews came out about it. And then I thought, well, just that day, someone told me that it got really shit on. But what is it about? What is the story? Do you really not know?

I do not know. I'm dying to know. I don't know if you're being honest, but this kid in high school, you know. I don't know if you're being honest, but this kid in high school, I would love to follow you into a theater and just no one's there and just watch you

watch a movie. There's no way if there's no one in the theater, you don't get up and pace a little bit and sit back down, go over to the movie screen and be like, I'm gonna dim it. Change a couple of bulbs. No, movie theaters get it. That's what gets me fucking angry about comedy clubs.

They have to get it. You can't leave the lights on. Well, comedy clubs do. Oh my god, I can't believe you, Rory. They get it. They don't have to get it. You could go, you know what sucks? You go to a movie theater and they don't have the double doors and the light. If they get it, that people want to see a movie in the fucking dark and they don't have to get it. You could go, you know what sucks? You go to a movie theater and they don't have the double doors and the light... If they get it, that people want to see a movie in the fucking dark

and they don't want to see doors open up, why can't comedy clubs? That's my point. And also, Matt, would you go to a movie theater if they go... It was only five people, by the way. It's five people that get it. The masses never get it. Oh, and what about elevators?

Hold on, one more thing. Like your stairs are broken and you have to take the elevator? Hey, I'll tell you, you know. How badly do you want to eat another one of these? Oh, so here's the thing about movies. I surprisingly, a lot of times, I don't pace. If a movie's good,

I love the whole experience, and then every time I see a movie that I really like, I like going out. It's like you get out of the real world and you're in this room and you have this great experience. I think,

I'm going to start fucking seeing movies more. I do like it, but it doesn't happen. You've probably done it like a dozen times in your life or 40? Probably more than that.

52? Okay, I'll go with that. What's the last movie that you remember having that response to? That you got psyched about more movies. Like, I'm going to go see more movies. Was it Avatar?

I don't remember, to be honest. What other movies made you feel like, that's my boy? Hey, I did get a lot of laughs out of the, that's my boy. I'm not saying it's going to go down as my all-time favorite movie, but I was like, through it, I went, I got a fucking lot of laughs. Don't tell me there's not one motherfucker in here that doesn't agree. There has to be one person. You know what? I am going to chime in here. There is one person

and they've also only seen two movies. Have you been to the movies lately? Parent Trap or That's My Boy? I like them both. I don't know. Which Parent Trap or That's My Boy. I like them both. I don't know. Which Parent Trap, though? Seriously. The original. Oh, that's pretty good.

Now I'm doubting maybe there wasn't one person, but what are you going to do? Allison, real quick, any movies lately, or did we already ask you that? Why do you ask? I, you know what? Since the Colorado thing, i have not been to a theater and i've been feeling like i know that i'm going to start feeling nervous in a theater and i

know i have to get past that but it is something that i'm worried about i'm worried about being worried about it but this is sort of like saying after the surgery will i still be able to play the piano did you play the piano before the surgery no like i still be able to play the piano? Did you play the piano before the surgery? No. I didn't go to movies that much before either, but I really haven't been going since Colorado. You already were somebody that needed to have only the wall to your back kind of person and not a huge crowd

around you. I am delightful and easygoing, so I don't know what you're saying. Yeah, I no, I'm not. Yeah, no. Yeah, that's kind of how I am yeah so I could see that

I have trouble blocking off two hours or whatever or let's say a whole movie experience with the line and with everything

and the trailers and all that it's like three hours I have trouble saying I'm gonna do this for three hours but instead I sit home

and I check Twitter so it's not how I get anything done but I'm weirdly like protective of those chunks of time. Yeah. But I do want to see Moonrise Kingdom, which I keep thinking is called Moonlight Serenade.

I don't know what that is. But I really want to see Moonrise Kingdom. That's a song, I think. Well, there's Moonlight Sonata. Okay. It's by Kesha. Moonlight Sonata Party The S is just a dollar sign Oh, Kesha

Yeah Knowing who my guests were tonight, I wrote down on this piece of paper since I don't think this will go quickly, let's get right into the Leonard Maltz game. I was supposed to say that about 15 minutes ago. So we're a little behind it, so we'll see what happens.

Super Troopers. We'll figure it out as we go. Okay, Todd has negative one for his pre-guess. But this is the part where everybody takes out their name tags, those that brought name tags, and you guys physically get up. It gets a little brighter in here,

Todd. I hope you're okay with that. And just physically get up and go select the name tag you want to play for and bring it back to your seat. And Todd, you have the option of just scribbling this gentleman's name on the side of the box of Krispy Kremes if you're that into those. What's your name?

He doesn't even want to be picked. So go pick somebody. Go pick somebody. Yeah, yeah. Good luck. Do you want me to assign a Sherpa to you? I don't want to go far. Oh, you got to do that if it says Todd on a dollar bill.

Allison's looking for she wants to play for somebody who's a fan of her work. Brian's getting some cookies or something. Always go for something edible. Yeah, that's what I say. Or consumable.

Hey, there's a guy with a baseball. It looks like everybody has something. Oh, Allison really scored. She's got a triceratops that's called Jenny. Excuse me, I think it's a stegosaurus. Jen the stegosaurus. Jen is nodding. It's a stegosaurus.

Jen is my favorite stegosaurus in the Land Before Time movies. How do you guys not sweat? I don't fucking get it. I've been looking at everybody. I go, there's no way. I know there's probably one other person here. You gotta pick one of two things, Todd. Bald or beard.

And then you'll be fine. That's not the secret at all. But it is what the three of us have in common. Four. Where's your beard? I've always liked that wig you wear. That's not what I was talking about. Todd's playing for Todd.

Oh, he wants his name. Oh, is that his name? Yeah, that's the idea. Oh, I thought that was my name. I mean, it is. You thought that was your name? You know what I mean. It is your name

it is his name that's a dollar but that's coincidentally his name too and you can spend that later by the way oh really yeah

where don't keep it just because it has your name on it that was a bribe do you accept bribes in this show it's just a dollar

it's both your names the guy gave him a whole box off mic Todd wants to know is that his name or his name? Todd, it's his name and it's your name. That's what I thought.

That's what I thought from the beginning. I did. I swear to God, that's what I thought. Sometimes I eat 19 donuts and I make them into a cake. You know what? You can make any... I know I'm not dumb. I'm not going to even play that card.

Like, oh, I'm so dizzy. I'm, you know, I'm not... even play that card. I'm so dizzy. I'm sorry we keep screwing you. The dude's name is George. For George Washington. Who's on the dollar. That's why. Who are you playing for, Rory?

I'm playing for Brooke. And she brought a little horse. It's hard to know who to pick. It's hard to know. to pick Or it's hard to know Do people just go by their knick-knack shelf On the way out And go I've been looking at this thing for too long I'll just put my name on it What?

The rag I'm using to wipe my face has icing all over it Todd this is rock bottom all over it. Todd, this is rock bottom. Who are you playing for, Brian? I'm playing for a guy named Mark who brought some Tim Tams, which are chocolate wafers, and the M in Tim Tam spells out Mark. All right, I hope you win,

and I think that's probably what's going to happen. And Todd would like us to bring the lights down. How to be a millionaire style. How to be a millionaire with Meredith Vieira. Well, first get on the Today Show. It's just her giving instructions every episode.

Yeah, how to be a millionaire. Start off on the view. Here's some millionaire tips from Meredith Vieira. Alright, did the lights go down a little bit, Todd? Yeah. Okay, good. Oh, that's even better. Todd, that's not just you

latching into a sugar coma. I like it with the lights down this low. The only thing good about this heat is, I swear to you, I would have eaten three more of these, but in the heat, it's hard to like, you feel gross heat is, I swear to you, I would have eaten three more of these, but in the heat, it's hard to like, you feel gross.

Like, I'm boiling hot, I'm sweating, but I'm still putting sugar in my body. But if it was freezing cold in here, God damn it, I wouldn't eat one too.

I just love walking around in these hot days just noticing how no one's fat. I know. Because the lack of clothing really emphasizes how in shape everyone is

well you know what if I was outside I'd be okay sweating if I was running because I'd have clothes on to sweat with that's why you always chase people because then it explains the sweating you don't worry about explaining the chasing

I just wanted to get you. To cover up the numbers. For the audience that isn't here, Todd is drenched in sweat. Not yet. I don't think it's broken my shirt, but it's close. Since I want Brian to win, we'll start with him. Well, thank you. I resent that.

Well, then we'll go to Allison. Okay. and well thank you I resent that well then we'll go to Allison okay and then Todd and Rory

because Todd and Rory are a little shakier on how the game is played and even if they knew exactly how it was played it would be tough to beat Brian

so don't don't say that I'm 0 for 2 in this game don't beat yourself up and Allison's won Allison has won and I'm terrible Allison has won

that's right thank you and she's terrible let's not forget that she's Brian, and I'm terrible. Yeah, Allison has won. That's right, thank you. And I won honestly. Let's not forget that she's terrible. I don't think we will. Allison Rosen is terrible. There is no way you're as bad as Todd. I mean, he didn't know what he's seen. I know.

I'm just lowering expectations, but I think you're right. I think Todd scored a point when we played in Vegas. I think you made somebody else's name. Oh, you know that going into it. It's not like I come and we know that that's, you know. But don't you have categories about donuts? Even if we did, how would that... Todd has seen 12 and a half movies.

You're right. And he paced through most of them. Because if you were in the theater alone, you wouldn't stay in your seat. No, I do the majority of the time. You'd run up and down the stairs. No, unless it's bad, I just leave. You've been to enough to know a bad one?

When it happens and walk out? Movies I don't like, of course. Okay. I'd like to know what one of those is. The way I just sit through every movie? I wish you could tell me what one of those was. Yeah. Yeah. I think I would just sit through every movie? I wish you could tell me what one of those was. Yeah. I think I do, remember.

Okay. We'll get back to it. When you think of it, blur it out. Who knows? It might be the answer. Even a monkey in a typewriter is going to write Shakespeare. No, it isn't! I like how I agreed to it. You said, said no it's not and then I changed and I went

no no no okay Brian you get to pick from these three categories would you like at rapid tapioca suggested dunzo washington and that's movies where denzel washington dies or it's mila kunis's birthday today That's movies where Denzel Washington dies.

Or it's Mila Kunis' birthday today. Mila Kunis is celebrating a birthday, so the films of Mila Kunis. You know who that is, right, Todd? No. She used to be married to Ashton Kutcher. And then the third option is movie Todd Glass had something to do with Todd's looking at you like, really?

Is that a real one? Mm-hmm I don't think Brian's gonna pick it But it would sure be fun to see it happen The Denzel one is clever, let's do that one Okay The other ones are totally stupid. Someone set it in, though.

I'll put the Todd one in the mix every round, so it'll get played, because that's got to happen. We can't walk out of here without reading a movie to Todd that he had something to do with and seeing whether or not he knows what it is. Are you running through titles of movies

you had something to do with in your head right now? Yeah, because there's one I got cut out of. Can you think of any? I think there's one I know of. Yeah, okay. There's only two. Brian, this movie where Denzel Washington dies gets two stars from Leonard Maltin. It's from 1998.

He says about this movie that it takes much too long to get where it's going. And the finale subverts the film's own ground rules. So this is a movie with ground rules in which Denzel Washington dies and Leonard lists eight names. How many names do you think you can get it in? Triple

B? Let's go six. That's a smart opening bid. Come to Allison. And then I say what I can name it in, or I say name that movie. Those are your options. Five. Could be lower names. Five, she says Todd.

So now you have to bid less names. Pick up your mic, put down the donut, pick up the microphone. You have to say less than five names. I said five, yeah. You have to say I can name it four I said five, yeah. You have to say, I can name it four names? Or you have to say to her, name it, and she'll get to hear the names, and she'll try to name it.

Which one? And if she fails to name it, you'll get a point. I'm going to... May as well say name it. Sure. From where you're sitting? Of course. There's no way you'll know what this is.

No way. I'd bet a million dollars. She won't know. I'm just saying when we get to it, once I say it is, then you agree with me that there's no way you would have known what this was. Disagree now. No, probably not. It's no probably. This is a slam dunk. Well, it's hard to say I absolutely...agree now. No, probably not. It's no probably. This is just a slam dunk. Well, it's hard to say.

I absolutely... No, I won't, I guess. All right, here's your five names. Right? Yeah. Okay. Robert Joy. Okay.

Gabriel Cassius. Something like that. I don't care Elias Koteas the great Elias Koteas yeah some kind of wonderful always kind of looks like

Robert De Niro James Gandolfini and M. Beth Davids D-A-V-I-D-T-Z Davids wow I think she goesV-I-D-T-Z. Davids. Wow.

I think she goes out with... They're all in this movie. Oh, is that how it works? Movie's got that many people? You know what? Wait till I'm talking about something I'm better at. Yeah. And I treat you people this way. There is something, by the way.

This is how anybody looks when they don't know about something. Creating desserts. What year is this from? It's from 1998. Todd, you're sweating. Eddie's about to get a point, I think. I know. I've been bit by my own snake. I don't know.

Can you think of any movie where Denzel Washington dies? Just blurt it out. It might be the one. No. Where Denzel Washington dies. Just blurt it out. It might be the one. No. Where Denzel Washington dies. Oh, I know. Yeah? Is it? Do I say it?

Yeah. Well, it's a movie where he was... Are you thinking Malcolm X? No, he was a cop with... Oh, yeah, Malcolm X. No, he was a cop with... Training Day? Training Day.

Yes. Thank you. You are pretty good at this. See, it shows I'm trying. The movie's called Fallen. Fallen. No, I knew that wasn't it. Fallen.

I just said that was a movie where he died. Have you ever heard of Fallen? I think I did. Well, you get a point, Todd. Todd's on the board. There you go. Sorry, motherfucker? Todd's on the board. He's winning money for George. He's winning for George.

Congratulations, Todd. Wholly deserved. Wholly deserved? This time we start with Rory and go towards Todd. We changed the order. Rory, you get to choose between movie Todd Glass had something to do with or

Big waft of donut this way. Are you smelling that? Ever Dark Moon suggested Bottomless Pit, which is movies where Brad Pitt eats. And In Theaters Now, that's movies that are in theaters now. So which one of those would you like to play, Rory? Brad Pitt.

Okay. Bottomless Pit. This Brad Pitt movie is from 2005. Leonard gives it three stars. And he says that this movie is sexy. And he also says that it has a dynamic score by John Powell. Sounds about right. And he lists nine names.

He lists nine names. How many names did he get in, Rory Scoville? You said there's a total of nine? Nine names. I can do it in six. He says six, Todd. Can you do it? You're asking me? Use your your microphone voice saying it to myself can

he do it um tried to change the tone there make it make look since can't do it so you could say to him name that movie and he'll get six out of nine names no he doesn't know it suit asking him to name it yeah I'm slowly proving that no one's that much different than me on this panel so far except I'm honest I think it would take you a whole month and shut me the fuck up and tell me what the goddamn movie is you're saying you know two movies but if we don't know all of them, we're just as dumb. It doesn't look good. Let's put it that way for you.

You know, if there's like a little kid in the audience and he didn't fathom what you're saying, all that, he would just go, Daddy, those guys didn't know any more than him. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. A child would think that. That's my point

They're the demographics They're the young listeners Alright Rory Here's your six names Oh man If you don't get this Todd wins I know

Todd wins The whole thing Will you win with two points? Yeah We're already We're one minute away From the show being over Am I gonna get to play?

It's not looking good, Brian. So hang in there. Keep getting those treatments, because I want to have you on again. I missed one tonight to be here. Oh, no. And he didn't get to play. See, that's commitment, folks. Is that true?

Is it true? You're just sick because it's a funny joke? Hopefully the clinic's still open after this. Okay. Six names you get, Rory. Michelle Monaghan, Rachel Hurley,

Chris Weitz, Keith David, Kerry Washington, and Adam Brody are your six names. And Brad Pitt eats in this movie that is sexy and has a dynamic score. 2005. Can you use the title in a sentence for me?

No, I can't use the title in a sentence, Meet Joe Black. No, that wasn't 2005. That was a lot older ago. I don't think I know it. Todd, you're about to win. Because they're having a big ball in the backyard. I think I might know it.

And I bet I'm wrong. Can I double down on getting it wrong? Here we go. I'll be so happy if you're wrong. Is it that... He's wrong. Is it that Coen Brothers vehicle? Oh, burn after reading?

Burn after reading, burn after noticing. Burn after noticing. Burn after Netflixing. Don't bother returning. No, the film is called Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Thank you. And Todd Glass is our winner. Fuck!

That's not really true. It really is true. You won, Todd. Did you make that happen? I didn't make it happen. Nobody even picked the Todd Glass category. Todd, what do you think the movie was that you were involved with that I chose?

Oh, uh... Hold on, I had it in my head a minute ago. There's only one. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, um... Oh, shit. Be quiet for one second. Okay, everybody be quiet. Marmaduke.

That's correct. Marmaduke. It's like you won a bonus round or something. We just gave you an applause for knowing a movie you've been in. You know what? I deserve it. What was your character's name? I don't know. Do you know what kind your character's name? I don't know.

Do you know what kind of animal you were? I don't remember. I remember being in a booth sweating and hoping I never had to do anything again. You turned these lights down. It was so bad. You made me feel like an animal in here. George, come on down and get your prizes, George. How about that?

That's fucking crazy. I should jam that donut right in your mouth, you son of about that? That's fucking crazy. I should jam that donut right in your mouth, you son of a bitch. I get all cocky. There you go, buddy. There you go. Congratulations. Thank you. Alright. Move along. No, shut up.

Move along. What are you, an old-timey cop? We're going over. We're going over. Move along. Yeah, yeah. The guy looked like he was going to tell us the story. Can we open these up? I don't see why not. Go ahead. Mark, is that cool?

We need Mark and Brooke. Who did you play for, Allison? I played for Jenna. Jen, sorry. We need all three of them to come write down a shithead for me to say at the end of the show. Oh, you've got it on your phone. That's fun. That's a good one. You guys can write it down right there.

I'm so fucking sorry. They're not going to kill him, are they? I didn't know the fucking movie. You at home are like, what is happening? I could make these cookies a hit if I had a big show. Like if I was Howard Stern and I liked these cookies, the whole fucking world would like them the next day.

These are really good. Too bad that's never going to happen. Tim Tams. Tim Tams. Can I use your towel as a napkin? On your hands you can. You guys be sure to check out the podcast Todd and Todd Eats Snacks. Where Todd eats snacks by himself and

waxes poetic about him. I like these Tim Tams. If you're listening, me and the crew. Hey, Allison, look this way, Allison. There you go. That's a beautiful shot. That's a beautiful shot.

You know what I do once a day? I just let myself gorge. That time is right now? Yeah, now till 3 in the morning. It has to happen at 8.15? Is it really 8.15? Those are really good. Are they from Canada?

Yes, obviously. Tim Tam? Come on. It's all right there in the title. Tim Tam! So, Bald Brian was here. I'm sorry you didn't get to play more, Brian. But I like your...

I'm going to say it. I really enjoy... It sounds like a cookie Regis Philbin would talk like, they're Tim Tams. Fuck this game. Check out the film vault with Brian and Anderson and ongoing with the Adam Carolla who I guess has the week off

which is why we got to have you guys here so that worked out nice and anything else that I'm missing? No man thanks everything's good thank you Doug I wish you nothing but the best will you wait your turn they're from Australia I don't see them here

Rory anything plug? Plug-wise? What's up? Any plugs? Got any road gigs? The FYF Festival is the end of the month. People should come to it. Fuck You Fuck Festival? Fuck.

Yeah. Yes. FYF? Yes. Is it Fuck Your Friends? That's here in LA, right? Fuck Your Friends Festival. Fuck Your Friends Fest.

Bring your friends. Fuck all. It's here in LA, right? Fuck Your Friends Festival. Fuck Your Friends Fest. Bring your friends, fuck all. It's Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Fuck your friends. I don't want to go. Why did they add that? Why did they make... I don't want to go. That's the weirdest tag to that commercial.

I guess it's just their way to go, well, we tried to show an appointee. Both sides. Tried to show an appointee. Both sides. Tried to show an opposite viewpoint at the end. Todd, we got any road... Oh, I know you got road stuff coming up because you canceled Bumbershoot to go out on the road with Jim Gaffigan. Jim Gaffigan, yes. And then,

you know... Yeah, that's enough. Yeah. Just, yeah, all my regular club dates. Oh, yeah. Go check yeah, all my regular club dates. Oh, yeah. Go check him out on his regular club dates,

everybody. I can't list them all. He counts on people just wandering by and going, Todd might be in here. Oh, and I'm going, and I'm going back,

I'm doing the Louis C.K. tour, so that'll be fun. Oh, that's really fun, yeah. I got to see you open for him once. It was a delight. And Allison Rosen is your new best friend. Oh, that's really fun, yeah. I got to see you open for him once. It was a delight. And Allison Rosen is your new best friend. It's her podcast.

Yes, that's my podcast. Try to mention your podcast every once in a while. It's a glass podcast. I come on that fun. I don't need to... I'm not... You know, I don't got to promote my stuff. I'm doing just fine.

Talk less show, though. I do. I do got to promote my stuff. What? What? Nothing. Nothing. Yes? Sorry? Yeah. Nothing. Yes?

Sorry? Yeah, Alison Rosen is your new best friend. She has t-shirts that she didn't know about. No, I knew about them. You guys didn't know. Where can you get them? Well, the t-shirts I'm not selling right now. Oh, okay.

So you can't get them, you guys. They're from when I used to do the Ustream show. They're classics. They're in the vault. I haven't decided what I'm going to do with the remainders yet. Only Todd has one of her t-shirts, so you know who to jump after the show. They're classics. They're in the vault. I haven't decided what I'm going to do with the remainders yet. Only Todd has one of her t-shirts, so you know who to jump after the show. A collector's item.

Jordan, you hit him with the baseball. The other guy, show up with donuts. And sometimes I do my podcast live, so come to that. If you go to a comedy club and Todd's not performing that night, just wait around. Maybe I will with Doug.

Maybe. Oh, I remember what this said. Somebody put their shithead on their phone and then of course it went off and now I don't know the code to get back into it.

Maybe they don't use a code. So instead of trying to get back into it, I'm just going to smash it. That's not mine. No, no, but I remember what it said. Whose phone is that?

I'm going to write it down because Todd's going to make me forget right now. It might be Brooks. No, no, but I remember what it said. Whose phone is that? I'm going to write it down because Todd's going to make me forget right now. It might be Brooks. Okay. Thank you, guys. Thank you, everybody. Thank you, Doug.

Rory, are you doing some last-minute crowd work? I'm trying to get that phone back to its rightful owner. Brooke, is it you? I'm so sorry. Don't get their phone. Where are you going, boy? Oh, there you go. He's got his phone. He's got his phone. Where are you going, boy? Oh, there you go. He's got his phone.

He's got his phone. Wow, that was close. That guy just stole the phone. He's very nimble about it. Let's hear it for my guests, everybody. It's about eight minutes over. And as always, just put the mic down Todd

There you go As always Gina Flamio Is a shithead Bane's voice is a shithead Do you know what Bane is Todd? Don't pick your mic up And remakes of 80's classics

Is a shithead.