Doug Loves Movies - Tom Lennon, Arden Myrin, Kurt Braunohler and Tim Dillon guest

Episode Date: August 8, 2018

Back home at UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Tom Lennon, Arden Myrin, Kurt Braunohler and Tim Dillon to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't sleep Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody, name is Doug, and I love movies. Yay! This is Doug Loves Movies! I like the one person who's just like, yay!

Coming to you from our first ever home, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles, California! Yeah! Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles, California! All right. It's Tuesday, August 7th, 2018. I saw some great name tags when I was just out on the road in Montreal and Traverse City, Michigan. So show me what you've got, Los Angeles.

Not so great. Oh wait. Wow it's like a left brain right brain thing going on here where everybody on this side of the house just sat this one out. This guy in front is just like I'll just have my arms crossed that'll get the job done. He's like I don't know what the hell's happening. I came here to see some improv. Well, most of this is made up on the spot. That guy over there made a name tag, though, called Halloween.

Because your name's Ian? Okay. I like for a movie that's not even out yet we've got over there we've got Mary Scott in's Returns that's a gentleman

named Scott I'm guessing what's this Fear and Loathing one what does that say on it Sophia and Loathing in Las Vegas but now in Los Angeles alright well we gotta we definitely does that say on it? Sophia and Loathing in Las Vegas.

But now in Los Angeles? Alright. Well, we definitely have enough for people to choose from. Good luck to everybody. Doug plugs Atlanta this Sunday at 4.20. Doug Loathe's movies returns to the Variety Playhouse Wednesday, August

15th. I'm doing stand-up at the Improv in Tampa, Florida Saturday, August 18th DLM at the Orlando Improv at 420 And if you are attending Ellis Mania in Las Vegas Be sure to check out Douglas Movies on Saturday, August 25th And then we're back here At the UCB Franklin location On Tuesday, August 25th. And then we're back here at the UCB Franklin location on Tuesday, August 28th.

For all my upcoming stand-up and podcast shows, go to Douglovesmovies.com That's Douglovesmovies.com Yeah! Yeah! Alright, well that's

for first-time listeners, people All right, well, that's... For first-time listeners, people love movies and birds of prey. Let's look at the prize bag. I'm so excited about the prize bag this week. I even put something on the Internet today showing off what I was going to bring because I really thought that might move a few more tickets,

a few more people might show up. Who bought their tickets today? Yeah? Did you buy your ticket because you saw me seeing what you could possibly win tonight? No, you just bought a ticket. I don't know why I bother. I don't know why I bother. But one of the sponsors of tonight's show is providing a nice coffee beverage.

This is from our friends at Monster Espresso, the energy coffee, a new advertiser. This particular flavor is salted caramel, or caramel, depending on where you're from and whether or not you like to pronounce things correctly. So that's in the bag, plus a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt and a Tito's vodka bandana. Yeah, I thought you guys might be into that. A copy of Traverse City Magazine. A beautiful Christmas-y bong from Peacemaker.

And something else I acquired at the Traverse City Film Festival, a copy of a DVD of a movie called Dog Man 2, The Wrath of the Litter. Yeah. And it's all in a Just for Laughs comedy pro bag because I was just up in Montreal at the Just for Laughs festival

and had a wonderful time there. And yeah, all that's going in the bag plus what my guests bring, but also one other thing that I brought, which is if, like me, you purchase a VIP ticket to a Taylor Swift stadium tour concert, what arrives at your home is this fucking brick of an item. brick of an item. Extremely heavy. And it's a beautiful box. It's got T. Swift on the cover.

And then when you're like, oh, Taylor Swift sent me a box. What's in it? When you open it up, oh, I should get a mic ready for this. When you open it up, this happens. Hey, guys. If you're watching this right now, then you got a VIP package for the reputation.

And I'm so excited that you did. I'm so excited. She's excited that I bought that I bought a VIP. So yeah, so for the listeners, it's like this pop-up thing, but then there's a video and it shows her doing VR and it's unsettling. And then,

and it attracts flies apparently. But then like you open up another level of it, and you get to play peek-a-boo with Taylor. And then they have, like, a patch and a light-up laminate thing you put around your neck when you go to the show, and you light up and you look special, and a CD, and a plaque with a ticket in the middle of it.

Oh, wait, what the fuck? You could open it further if you're one of those people that likes to pry. And you'll eventually find a giant book in here called the Taylor Swift Reputation Tour book. Look at this fucking thing.

I think this is why it's so heavy. This is the heaviest part. This goddamn book that they hide in the bottom. So this thing, this has got to be worth 40 bucks if you eBay it. It's a fun puzzle. Try putting this shit back together.

Good luck. Same amount of time, and you'd have a nice cabinet from Ikea. Oh, everything's falling everywhere. I've ruined this thing. But, so that's going in the prize bag, plus the stuff from my guests. And, you know, I'm sure one of my guests

will top this thing. So let's get them out here. Please give it up for Arden Marine, Tim Dillon, Kurt Braunohler, and Tom Lennon. Thank you. That box is awesome. Well, thank you for admiring my box. You've got a beautiful box, Doug. It's such a nice box.

It's such a gorgeous box. I was walking over here feeling like, oh, my box is kind of heavy. No, you've got a perfect box. But it's worth it. It's worth it getting my box here. Hey, what's going on? Why is Kurt Braunohler

standing behind his chair? I got a bunch of stuff. You have so much stuff that it's just taking up your seat. He can't go in the express lane with all this shit. Alright, so you're going to have to stand for a little while because I have to introduce everybody. Of course. I'm going to take my time.

In that case, I'm taking a knee. Oh, wait. Fuck you, Braunhaler. Oh, shit. He's protesting just me. Yeah, you're protesting the giant white man. Tall people that I love.

Oh, okay. Past tense, it's over? Finally protesting something you love. Such a sweet protest. Girls, girls, you're both pretty. Thank you, thank you, thank you. My friend's dad used to say that when his sisters were fighting. He'd walk through the room and it wouldn't matter what they were fighting about.

He'd just go, girls, girls, you're both pretty. Because that's what women fight about. I'm pretty, Karen. I've got to say, it really raises my hackles when I'm arguing with a man and somebody uses that line. Like trying to diminish us by comparing us to women. It's like, fuck fuck you women are awesome does that happen a lot yeah no it's a go-to line oh if i say girls girls you know you're both

pretty or whatever really yeah or just to any two guys if you call them ladies oh my god i didn't know that. Are you okay? Tom is back to protesting, but I feel like he's no longer protesting me. I could talk about this subject for forever, but instead let's meet everybody on the panel because we got four great people here, starting with Arden Marie! Hi!

Hi! Thank you! Insatiable on Netflix. Yeah, it starts this Friday. Yeah. It's so good. It's so good. And it starts this Friday. Why the controversy, though?

Why is it controversial already? It reminds me of Heathers or To Die For. It's like a dark comedy. So it's not a fat shaming show? Not at all. Not remotely. So what happens in the first 40 seconds? Does someone like shoot a dog and go, I'm insatiable for dog

killing. Oh, I'm so insatiable. That's exactly what happens. Did you find where the screen is? Oh, I got a screener. Sorry. That's exactly what happens. It's about like it's, you know, everybody in it is sort of a fucked up character and everybody has like a big hole in their soul, but it's everybody's just sort of terrible people trying to fill that hole, Doug.

That sounded bad. Yeah, it did. But also good. Oh my God, thank you. Yeah. Thank you. That one really walked the line. That was a real Johnny Cash, that line.

Let's also say hello to a first time guest on the show. It's Tim Dillon, everybody. Thank you. Very excited, nervous. Nervous and excited. Yeah? Why nervous? I don't know. I've never done it. I don't nervous. Nervous and excited. Yeah? Why nervous? I don't know.

I've never done it. I don't know. Everyone said it's hard. A couple of people said it's hard. My manager was like, you should prepare. I'm like, what? And they just hung up the phone. He goes, you should prepare.

And then just hung up. I'm like, prepare what? I was so, I don't know. We'll see what happens. All right. Well, I mean, you're doing great so far. Because our honesty is fine. Good.

There's also no way to prepare for this. Well, that's what I kind of thought. You just watch movies. Get as many as you can before the show. I panicked and looked up a few actors today. I almost panicked and tried to do my research. Just go on IMDB? Yeah. Just start with the A's? I'm panicked and tried to do my research. Just go on IMDB? Yeah.

Just start with the A's? I'm going to briefly study the history of film. Yeah. Especially the parts that shouldn't be history, the most trivial parts. Yeah, I almost did that. Three months ago

when Doug was like, hey, you want to do the show? And I was like, yeah, of course. And then I forgot that I had said yes. And then I got a text yesterday from Doug and he's like, see you tomorrow. And I'm like, yeah, of course. And then I forgot that I had said yes. And then I got a text yesterday from Doug and he's like, see you tomorrow.

And I'm like, fuck you in my mind. Sure, sure. And the one thing I forgot is that I've always failed at this show. Sure, sure, me too. And then my next thought was, what part of my life and or career is he going to drag through the mud on the podcast?

Oh, well, let's get right to it. Hey, why do you think you weren't in Dunkirk? Doug, that's a great question. As a person who was in two Christopher Nolan movies, I watched Dunkirk. What happened to you?

What happened to your relationship with him? What went wrong? This is a great question. I watched Dunkirk. What happened to your relationship with him? What went wrong? This is a great question. I watched Dunkirk and I'm like, where the fuck is the funny gynecologist? At some point somebody has to go to a proctologist or a guy who goes like,

well, I got bad news. Oh man. I would have loved it if that opening scene was like and then all the hats all the metal hats and then it's just tom lennon looking back to fight the bomb well i just i reason i asked that is because i just love that christopher nolan told tom that he was playing the same character yes in two different nolan joints and uh that's just bullshit. But, you know,

it got you through, right? It got me through. It gave you a through line for your performance. By the way, was the UCB stage always covered with flies? No, I've been noticing that since I got out here.

I think it might be my Taylor Swift box. It's like butterflies and flies. They might be coming out of this box, too. Oh, really? You brought a box of flies as one of your ways for the prize money?

This stage is covered with fruit flies. There's flies everywhere. It feels like a movie where a real bad disaster is about to happen. How did they not notice? How did they notice? Yeah. But anyway, that's Tom Lennon, everybody,

that I was just speaking to. I was cut out of Dunkirk, probably. Yeah. And also joining us on the stage, but refusing to take a seat. Someday soon. Someday. But not a knee, Tom refusing to take a seat. Someday soon. Someday, but not a knee, Tom.

I said a seat. It's Kurt Braunolo! Hi. Hello. Star of last summer's Smash, The Big Sick. And then here's what I wrote after that. What's next? Do you want to know what's next? I wrote after that. Yeah. What's next? Do you want to know what's next? I do.

Okay. Well, after the big singles and Lady Dynamite, and now I'm going to be doing a Showtime show called Black Monday with Don Cheadle. You've already shot that? It starts shooting in October. Oh, shit. What were you out of town shooting recently? That was the Seth Rogenogen Charlize Theron movie.

It's called Flarsky now, but it's not gonna be called Flarsky in the future. Wait, it's not called Flarsky now or Flarsky in the future? Flarsky in the future would be the best name ever. Okay, so um... Oh my god, please tell them I said hi. Please tell them I said hi. Please tell them I said hi. What's going on? Tell them I said hello.

Literally. I was reading Seth Rogen today tweeting about how Pineapple Express was never a name of a strain of weed. They made the movie. They made it up. Yeah.

And now it's, you know, you can get Pineapple Express everywhere. I think the tweet was basically bragging. But also, if you created a universally bought weed, wouldn't you brag about it? It would be great if I did that. Too bad I'm not known for that. Too bad smoking weed isn't really my thing.

But yeah, I get it occasionally somebody reach out and say that their neighborhood drug dealer calls their strain Benson

or they named a dog Doug no relation no I think those people are high as well I think it's

pretty common but let's okay so we gotta talk prize bag with everybody, but just so we can get Kurt into his seat, I'd like to start with what did you bring? So this is a lot of stuff.

Yeah, clearly. First off, this was all of this stuff. I had forgotten my prize bag, and then I just did a podcast right before coming here, Jonah Radio, a very great podcast. You should listen to it right now. And I won on that show, and so here's what I have to give you.

Oh, my God. This is eight humble brags on top of each other. First off, you've got a signed headshot of a young Howard Kramer. Wow, look at that hair. Okay. It's such good shape. It's such good shape. It is such good shape.

The picture is a little crinkled. Yeah, it's a little crinkled. He's been jerking off for hours in the Delson's parking lot. This is how it... It does look like he used it to park. Actual Howard is a tiny bit crinkled also. This is not far fetched. He feels like Ralph Macchio and like a hot vampire boy.

Call him Chris because he is crinkled. Please hurry. Okay. This is... He feels like the opposite of having your bags, having your shit bagged

at the grocery store. So this is two tapes, which is the complete Andrew Dice Clay The Day the Laughter Died. Tape one and two. Wow. Arden's jerking off with that now. Arden has rubbed her teats

and for some reason her bosoms. Los Logos, the best band in East LA collection. Again, a tape. You gotta have a tape player for this shit. Then DVD complete episodes of First in Ten, HBO's first scripted show that features a lot of nudity. Yes, ballers with tits. Yeah, ballers with tits.

Then, of course, Kurt Prowler. Wait, are there not tits on ballers? There are, but not nearly enough to get me to sit through ballers. How do you... And also, where are the fucking ballers from the title?

I want to see some fucking balls. Look in for the ball. Oh, I don't like this at all. No. This is a keep it dry curb brownie towel.

It's a towel that has my face on it. And I've used it twice at the gym, so it smells a lot like me. And then... Wait, did you just, like, turn it around when you were at the gym? Or were you clearly just toweling off with your face? I purposely fold it like this. Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Kurt. Hey, Kurt. I don't want to be a dick. Yeah. But I've started to feel like some of the things you've brought are just to get the fingerprints of other people on them. In the event that the DA won't shut up. And he's like, well, I had the dice, I had the video.

Blah, blah, blah. It's got a lot of people's DNA on it. So you choose. And then this is the last item. Oh, okay. The box is a lot of people's DNA on it. So you choose. And then this is the last item. Oh, okay. The box is one item. This box is one item. Oh, my God.

This is... I don't know. Gwyneth Paltrow's head. Gwyneth Paltrow's head. How dare you? How dare you? I love you. This is a copy.

These are all the complete collection of first and ten, all 80 episodes for every member in the audience. Wow. What? You got all 80 episodes of first and ten on DVD. Start passing those out. I don't think you have enough for everybody, but. I have close to enough for people who have DVD players.

Oh, okay. So raise your hand if you have a DVD player and Kurt's going to walk around. Wow. And give each of you first in ten the first 80 episodes. Wait, is that the right expression? The first 80? It's got to be every episode.

Every episode. Okay. Yeah. By the way. But definitely stay on that side of the room because they all brought name tags. This side of the room should suffer. Yeah, you're doing great.

Guys, there's a test on first and ten later. If you take it, I'm going to fucking quiz you when I meet you. Don't, how dare you take that? This is like, who knows Edgar Allan Poe's The Mask of the Red Death? Thank you. You walk into a venue and everybody is like, who knows Edgar Allen Poe's The Mask of the Red Death? Thank you. You walk into a venue and everybody's like, hey, it's cool, it's a masquerade party. And then somebody gave you a thing that fucking kills you.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Good job, man. He didn't know about the name tags at all, but he knew how to get one of those sweet DVDs. All right, so how much longer do you think this is going to go on for? It's terrific listening, I gotta say. People are like in their cars, I'm not even going to go into work until I hear this play out. Wait, who wants, does anybody need a box?

Is anybody moving small items? Their DVD collection. Do you seriously need a box? Here we go. That was the best way. For people at home, he just went, yeah, I'm moving. That's how you feel when you move. It's horrible. He caught the box on his shoulder

And handed me something at the same time That's exciting I thought I was about to just hit him in the face With the box What did he hand you? What do you mean don't open it? Has it got shit SARS in it? SARS

It's got SARS It's got SARS. It doesn't have SARS in it. It's got SARS. It's just SARS. Okay, so. Wow. Wow. All right, well,

don't feel bad having to follow that because I, you know, I don't say to people, bring a shit ton of stuff, but what did you bring for us, Arden? Well, I, first of all, I feel like the most powerful casting director in 1989.

I'm looking at a bright-eyed Tom Lennon and Howard Crane. I feel, I mean, would you guys be up for the same part? I don't know. Probably not. I feel like we're putting together the team. I feel like I'm putting together the team like yeah I feel like

I'm the guy you didn't want for like the the other guy the main guy's friend right okay and then Howard's

the guy you didn't want for the main guy is the guy that kills the other yeah yeah he definitely has somebody under his floorboards

he's got danger he's full blown danger he's danger he's stranger danger well speaking of stranger danger I only brought two items. Okay, I'm standing. Okay, I brought My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic.

It's a dash of awesome, which is kind of exciting. I bet these two gentlemen are wonderful in it. And then I brought a doll. I brought the Wonder Woman DC superhero girl, and it has a student ID card. It's like really kind of very foxy for young girls, but she's killing it, and that's what I brought for you.

Yeah, I think I'll hang on to that. Okay. You will never walk out of here alive with that. Yeah. She looks good. She's got the lasso of truth. Yep. Which I love the most recent Wonder Woman movie

where there's all the women live on an island together in peace. Yeah. But they still, when a man shows up, they have the lasso of truth they invented a thing they didn't need yes just so in case a thing they never heard of because they they were like what is this a man what's a man right and then they throw the lasso of truth on him right away like finally this thing came in handy and they're both could i so i watched that movie and i immediately thought man if there was an

an island that someone could send me to where Amazon's shoot arrows and then hit me with whips and stuff it'd be a great workout yeah right was so foxy in that yeah yeah I mean watching her fight and she was so badass. Yeah, it's crazy. It was crazy. Right. But I want to go to a fat farm. Where I just land. One day I land,

and they're like, we've never met a man, and now we're going to shoot arrows at you until you're dead. Can I just say what you showed me? Wait, what's happening right now? He showed me something backstage. Nobody knows.

He showed me a photo. So we both sometimes take Ambien and then don't go to bed, like fight it. Wait, you can do that? You can actually fight it? Yeah, so I'll do it. Like without the use of like an upper, just like hold it off? No, hold on. I took it two weeks ago.

You just keep punching yourself in the balls. I ate the entire mini bar. I woke up and it was all gone. But you've been talking about the fat farm. This guy is ripped. He showed me a picture. He took an Ambien. That was not a...

That was a bad idea. Anyways, he took a photo of himself. I started a war accidentally with the premier of Quebec. Let's move on. He took a selfie naked. I didn't mean to do that. It was in a hotel room. I did not mean to do it.

And it had... The TV was in the mirror. And the premiere of Quebec was on where his dick would be. And he took a photo and then tweeted it out. And tweeted it out. Fully.

I was fully tripping on Ambien. Isn't that so fun? Anyway. So those ladies worked you out well. God bless. Doug Doug what are we doing Just don't Apologizing to Canada apparently But I've been there

You're in Canada I watch you on Twitter You're in Canada like Three out of five days a week What did you say Doug He said they were rude No me once. What did you say? What'd you do? What'd you say? Doug, Doug, Doug. You said they were rude? No.

No, they're not. What did you do? I don't want to get into it right now, but it's in my Wikipedia if you want to check it out. Oh, wow. Wait. All of Canada? Were you arrested? Yeah, yeah.

No, the prime minister at that time demanded that I apologize. This was a diplomatic incident? I did, because it seemed like the easiest thing to do. Boo! I can't wait to lick this stuff. Fuck that guy. I like Canada. I wasn't trying to make him mad at me.

Was it Justin Trudeau? Because I'm on his side. No, no. This happened years ago. If it's you versus Trudeau, I'm fully Trudeau. Even though you and I have been friends for a long time. Well, I don't know if I'm fully Trudeau, but I'm mostly Trudeau because marijuana

is going to be legal throughout all of Canada on October 17th. All right, so, but that's for another show that I do. We got to talk to Tim about what he brought for us.

Yeah, well, this is actually, this is kind of a replacement gift. This is true. I was a child actor and I printed out a beautiful glossy headshot of when I was a seven year old I was on Sesame Street

you guys know and I earlier today I left it in an Uber yeah what a lucky driver

it was somebody is having a very creepy ride from the valley here I called the driver he didn't answer so because both of his hands were busy yeah he was probably being arrested but i got on the way here from cvs which is known for movie memory bill there's a lot of great dvds there uh and when i got uh these three bags of peanut butter cups,

the woman said, they're really good at the counter. And I said, they're for a podcast. And she went, yeah. So, what are you, five explaining what things are for when you buy them? I was embarrassed. They're for a podcast. I don't, I won't eat all of them.

They're unwrapped. You know how ravenous podcasts are. They're unwrapped mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I love it. Those are good. You can eat them and look at those headshots. By the way, the reason old people hate young people is they say things like, this is for a podcast.

And old people immediately think, there's nothing for a podcast that has ever been. Right. All right, well, let's start passing all that stuff down, if you guys don't mind. Thank you for bringing that. And what do you have for us, Tom? This is a crew hat from a show that never aired called USS Alabama.

It's actually a very rare, cool thing. It's so... You can see it online, but was a after Reno 911 it is we did a show called the USS Alabama it lasted a minute and then was gone how many episodes did what did anything air never oh I played oh I played the ship I wish your name on the show was Al-abama. I actually think you would like it.

You can see it online. It was like the next iteration of Reno 911. You might like it. What did you play? It hurt you. You win. Did you get to keep the shorts? I played the acting captain

whose name is Glenn Frenchman, if you must know. There's a lot of like, there's a lot of like group showers and like tragedy on it. I think you would love it. I would love it. Glenn Frenchman.

Google it. It exists. I love it. No, I'm very excited Google it. It exists. I love it. I'm very excited about it. We're running a little behind because there are so many prizes. Kurt. What are you terrible?

Just Kurt. What a terrible problem. Everybody gets a gift today. Exactly the people who got the gift are clapping. Exactly the people who got the gift are clapping. The other people are sitting there like, fuck all of this. I also want to say that, by the way, you just described First and Down

as a gift. Not a curse. That will you have to figure out how to recycle it. Who here came tonight hoping to get a doorstop? So Tim, I have one question before we get to the game portion of the show. Maybe that's why your

team was freaking out about you being on here because it is a hard ball coming right at you. Yes, I am playing. Yeah, I am playing Roseanne in the remake. What? And I don't care. Everyone deserves comedy. Go on. Sorry. me what and i don't care everyone deserves comedy go on sorry

tim dylan what was the last movie that you saw oh fuck um the last movie to come back to you no the last movie that i saw was um mission impossible the new one fallout fallout which was written in hours it was right just telegraph everything group that they're all against is called the Apostles that's how seriously they took it you know the Apostles are there 12 and they kill for money you know there's 16 of them which as a catholic made me mad right as soon as like there's a whole scene where they're like hey tom cruz here come the apostles and there's just unlimited amounts of them yeah i was like fuck you and fuck you now jump out of something but But Crazy Tom Cruise is the best action star

because he does all of it. He's going to die doing it, I think. He's going to die. I've got to be honest. I don't think he'll ever die. That's the one guy I'm like, he will never die. But yeah, that's the last one I saw. Okay.

Yeah. Sorry. Don't be sorry. That's the last movie I saw, too, except for the one I saw today damn it yeah

what was the one you saw today today I saw Puzzle and you can't spell Puzzle without a few Z's

but uh yes like that review Kurt what was the last movie you saw? Ex Machina. All right. I know you've been busy. No, no, no.

I just rewatched it. I rewatched it. This is worth talking about. I had never seen Ex Machina. I was flying home to here. Saw it the other day. Holy fuck. That's a great movie.

It's a really good. I was started, I was like drunk and I was like, I want to watch something before I go back. And put it on and I was just like riveted.

It doesn't hurt that there's like a sex robot who's looking at you. And then the whole movie is about like, you would fall for a sex robot, you asshole. Yeah.

And then you feel like an asshole. Yeah, yeah. And I sex robot, you asshole. Yeah. And then you feel like an asshole. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, checkmate. And then the robot has, I don't want to spoil it. That part where Oscar Isaac and his assistant just start doing a choreographed dance is so fucking cool. It's amazing.

It's out of nowhere, over before you know it. Yeah, but some good moves. You know them. Tom, but some good moves. You know them. Tom's learned the whole thing. Arden, what was the last movie you saw? I saw Three Identical Strangers. Don't tell us anything, right? It's twisty.

Did you see it? I haven't. It's so good. I just said don't tell us anything. I won't. It's so good, though. It was fascinating. Don't tell anything, and yet the title is

the end of the movie. No, there's a lot of Christmas. But how was it not? No, it's more than that. It's more than that. It just keeps going and going and going.

Just like Inception, Leonardo DiCaprio gets pregnant at the end. The one Christopher Nolan movie that I'm not in. I understand. Thanks for rubbing it in, and fuck you.

May I have a little of your wine? Of course. Thank you. I thought she was going to say may I have a chance to speak? But instead, may I get drunk like you? It was really good. I think you'll like it, Doug. Yeah, I think it... Oh, the wine or the movie? Both.

But right, it's got some twists. It's got so many twists. Just when you think there's not another twist, you're like, oh my god, there's another fucking twist. The twist is that there's five of them? There's five of them. Two are not quite identical, but

they don't count. That's the title. It's not as thrilling. So it sounds like Tom has seen everything. So let's hear it. What's your most recent movie experience? My son and I last night watched Hellboy 2 The Golden Army. You did? That's a great movie. That's a fun one.

It holds up. Right? Oh yeah. I love that Guillermo del Toro dude. Yeah, he's not, he's pretty much never wrong. Yeah. He was kind of wrong. Yeah, what was that one with Jessica Chastain? Crimson Peak.

Yeah, thank you. That one's a strange question mark on the side. Yeah. That was sort of like an attempt at a Shape of Water, and then with Shape of Water, he nailed it. Shape of Water, but I'm also, you know, it's also like, is it the Abe Sapien movie or not?

Right? Are we gonna get, are we gonna talk about this or are we gonna talk about this? Right, Doug Jones is Abe Sapien in the Hellboy movies and then he's also the fish creature in Shape of Water. Oh, and now and now what? What are you trying to say? I'm trying to say that the Shape of Water is And now what? What are you trying to say? I'm trying to say

that The Shave of Water is clearly the Abe Sapien origin story movie, but why won't anybody talk about that? She fucks him until he learns how to talk? The deaf girl fucks some language into him? She's mute. She's not deaf. Fuck you.

She's mute. She's not deaf. Fuck you. She's not. Wow. Fuck it. Start the dumb questions. But, these are good questions to ask. These are fair questions. Okay.

Hey, by the way, if you ever got really high and watched Amelie, which you never did, I'm sure. No, but sure. Yeah. You would also make the shape. I've seen Amelie, so I watched Amelie High. Wow, that's a great idea for a show, Amelie High. The next thing you would do is you would make Shape of Water.

I mean, Kurt, you made a noise about Shape of Water. Did you find it like... Kurt was mad. I thought it was a platter of poo-poo. Oh, okay. Yeah, I didn't enjoy it. I enjoyed the first half. The tone changes a great deal constantly.

First 45 minutes, I was like, on board. Last 45 minutes, I was like, you stopped writing. Yeah. Well, you know once you like type out the words Abe Sapien eats a cat you're done you've made a masterpiece oh sorry in the other so again okay okay guys a kiss here I would never say to do this But here's what you do Meet your friends that have access to mushrooms Watch Amelie And Hellboy

At the same time While you're just devouring Fully medical grade mushrooms And then See how you feel. Because you'll be as mad as these assholes here right now. Which assholes? Oh.

Turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin! Oh my God., my God. Oh, my God. Gentlemen and lady, the left side of the room is fashioned some amazing name tags. There's a few over here on the side, too. Don't disregard them, but just pick who you'd like to play for.

Just go grab the name tag from the person and bring it back to your seat. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Today's show is brought to you by Espresso Monster. When you need an extra burst of energy but don't have time to wait in line, grab Espresso Monster. Espresso Monster is a premium blend of smooth espresso and cream

packaged in an 8.4-ounce can. It's just the right size and perfect for when you're on the go. Each can has three shots of espresso blended with European milk just the way the Italians do it. At 150-160 mg of caffeine per can, it's sure to give you the energy you need to conquer the day. Espresso Monster has two delicious flavors to choose from, Espresso & Cream and Vanilla Espresso. Produced in Denmark and the Netherlands, Espresso Monster is made with freshly brewed espresso coffee, hormone-free milk, and a unique energy blend that's complete with taurine and B vitamins.

They sent a few cases to DLM HQ, and we put one in the prize bag tonight. Everyone seems to enjoy the taste and subsequent energy boost. Close your eyes, take a sip, and enjoy Espresso Monster today. Back to the show. Alright, we're back. We did it. Name tag's chosen.

Now Tim, since you haven't been on before and you're looking at the back of the name tag right now, do not say what it says on the back out loud. Just tell us what the front says, which is, I've signed this poster already, right? This sign. It doesn't say anything. My name is on there,

because I met them earlier. Tell us about it. Oh, me? No, I'm sorry, with Tim. It says, I now pronounce you Doug and Mary. Classic. Yeah. Classic. Yeah. Classic switcheroo.

So that's... That's from Mary. Yeah. There she is. What do you got there, Kurt? I always wait to go last to pick because I will lose, and so I don't want to ruin anyone's chance.

Except for this person. Well, I mean, I'm ruining their chance, but you know, if everyone had already gone, who's going to win? This is Austin, Glorious Bastards,

and it's got everybody's little head on it. There's the Jew Hunter, Colonel Hyans Landa, Aldo the Apache, Lieutenant, oh, this is actually the names of the people.

They put John Hamm in there and a couple other people. Yeah, and Doug's up the top. All right. There we go. What do you have there,

Arden? I have Kill Dill Volume 1 and it appears to have a cigarette and a blood candy. A jazz cigarette. That's a blunt and an edible.

Oh, my God. I only do hand-in because I'm so bad at drugs. Let me just see that name tag for a second. Could you just pass it to me for a second? I'm truly so bad at drugs that when I get high, I make people hold my hand because I'm going to go to Middle Earth so I can't. Thank you. It's a cigarette.

It's a cigarette. What if I smoked it? I was high till Friday. What? High till Friday. I get so high. The Arden Marine story. Who are you playing for Tom?

I'm playing for Sophia and Loathing in Las Vegas Sophia Hi Very nice Sophia and Loathing My friend who's right here Sophia and Loathing

would be a good stage name Alright so those are who you're playing for I've got a couple of games ready to go. And not a ton of time

left in the show. I blame Kurt. That's okay. I'm going to take it. I'm the sin eater. Hmm? You want to get into it? Let's start with live, die, repeat. As you can tell, 8% of the audience loves it. I love playing a 100-seat theater

because if you just quickly count up the people that respond to something, you know which percentage of the people it matches up evenly. By the way, that movie is not called Live, Die, Repeat. Oh, people would like to say that. It's called Edge of Tomorrow.

Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. It's called Edge of Tomorrow. You just said it's called Live, Die, Repeat. No, that's the name of this game we're going to play. But you're 80 feet from the Scientology Center so

be careful get your shit together Braun Helmer that'd be amazing if Tom Cruise uses Scientology power to be mad at people for saying the names of his movies wrong but that was the tagline for the movie and it became a popular

thing to call it because everybody thought Edge of Tomorrow was a shitty title. They changed the name of it when it was streaming. They were like, just live, die, repeat. But just look in this Leonard Maltin book this gentleman just gave me and it will not say live, die, repeat or Edge of Tomorrow. Do you think? It won't say either.

Because that was back when books were printed. Yeah, this is the 1988 edition, so. You don't have anything in here. You hadn't done anything by then. I might exist. Maybe. Okay. Alright, so here's how this game works. I say the title of an actual movie

and the first person on the stage that can repeat it back completely incorrectly is the winner of the game. Wait a minute, what? Fuck this. This is the most fun part of this game.

It's when people haven't played it before. That's the whole game? What? I was so nervous all day. Yeah, no. You could have just started being nervous right now because I'm going to say

the title of a movie. Just words. Just the words. And then you guys... This is bullshit. Just the first person who can repeat it back wins the game. You can sit it out. This is fucking bullshit. Do we have to sit it out? Totally sit it out. Here we go. Reno. 9 can sit it out. This is fucking bullshit. Do we have to hit it?

Totally sit it out. Here we go. Reno... 911. I was just joking to see if Tom would know at least that one. Alright, so... Oh, by the way, that's a TV show, not a movie. The movie's called Reno 911. Exclamation point. Colon. Miami.

Fuck you. You lost. You don't have to like it. But you were wrong today. So wait, do you have to just finish it, or do you have to say it? You have to say the whole, every word of the part that you won't know until I've said every word, probably.

Yeah, oh boy. Yeah, this is a real movie, but not on anybody's shelf. Okay. Except for maybe one person who's lucky tonight. Sophia or Dill. Wait, did we ever find out what Dill was short for? Dylan.

Dylan? Is that true? Okay. Okay, great. I guessed. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. I didn't Is that true? Okay, great. I guessed. I'm sorry I didn't recognize. I didn't think his name was Dill Pickle. Yeah. I was kind of hoping it was Kill All Pickles.

Alright. I don't like pickles and I don't like when they put one on your plate because whatever it touches is going to taste like pickle. What? Sounds good to me. I like a pickle. I like a pickle. I love a pickle. That's fair, but keep it over there.

It's fair. Yeah, I don't mind people liking pickles. It's a strong stance, Doug. Are you sure you want to say that on the podcast? I mean, I'm not going to say kill Dill. Is that why Canada got mad? I think Dill should be allowed to live. Here we go.

Okay. Dog. Dog bites man. Ooh. Days. Dog days. The bounty hunter? Dog days afternoon.

Dog day afternoon. It was just the one day, yeah. Dog day afternoon. Dog man. Dog Day Afternoon. It was just the one day, yeah. Dog Day Afternoon. Dog Man. Dog Bite Man. Man Bites Dog. Dog Man 2. Dog Man 2.

Dog Man 2, Return of the Dog. Dog Man. I like where you're going. Dog Man 2. The Wrath of the Dog. The Dog Man 2, The the wrath of the dog. The dog man to the wrath of the dog. Dog man to the wrath of cats. The dog man to the wrath of the canine dog man to Wrath of the Litter.

Dog Man 2, The Wrath of the Litter. Kurt Brotholer wins. Doug, I'm going to just quickly ask. This is a feature film that came out in movie theaters. Dog Man 2? Yeah. The Wrath of the Litter. No, no, no.

You did not answer my question, sir. Iath of the Litter. No, no, no. You did not answer my question, sir. I handed you the goddamn movie. No, no. It's real. You handed me a DVD of a movie that was never in theaters. You think I faked it? And it's called, no, no, I guarantee you it exists, but it's also

called Dog Man 2, The Wrath of the Litter, and this is not a movie that was in venues in America. Oh, did I say we're playing a game about movies in venues in America? So wait. Just because Kurt is Scandinavian, where it was very popular.

Mm-hmm. They're not just pups anymore. That's the tagline. Oh, it is that way. Yes, it is. Seriously, in the first Dog Man, they were actually pup men. Oh, yeah. Doesn't make any sense.

Yeah, not anymore. That movie was never in venues. It doesn't count. Tim, back in the bag. It's a collector's edition. Just toss it in. All right. Oh.

I really wanted you to throw it. I'm excited. All right, next time. Because, you know, DVDs. What are the chances? How are you going to throw it I'm excited Because you know DVDs What are the chances are you going to Break it Kurt gets to go first in our next game Why is that?

Because he just won that game He won that game? Yeah he took it down I listened to the rules He waited for me to say the whole title And then said some words I'm so jealous This is the only game

I'm going to win. Tom, give it to me. I love Kurt. We're all terrible. This is the worst panel. We're terrible. I'm terrible. Tom, I've devised

a series of games to rate that anyone can win. That's the point. Even Kurt Braunhubler can win. Go, go, go. I'm very bad. So he gets to go first

in our next game. Okay. And then we'll go to Arden and then Tom and then Tim. And I'm just going to get from each of you a number. The game is called How Long Is It? Okay. Yeah.

Great. 12% of the audience loves it. I'll name a thing, and then each one of you, starting with Kurt, gets to guess how long it is. And we're doing in minutes? Well, you'll see once you know the question. Fantastic. I'm ready. The thing we're looking for, how long is it?

Okay, Doug, give it to me. Tom Hanks. Yes. Marriage to Rita Wilson. How long is it in years? We've got a guess in the audience. Please don't do that. I'm going to say two. I don't know.

You think that Tom Hanks has been married to Rita Wilson for two years. I don't know. Let's go to Arden. I'm going to go for 32 years. Arden is saying 32 years. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know who either. Let's go to Arden. I'm going to go for 32 years. Arden is saying 32 years. This, of course, is Price is Right style.

Tom. Fuck Arden. That's very accurate. What, you think? Tom and Rita have been married and God bless them for...

Could she have gone over? It's possible. Tom and Rita have been married for 29 years. Oh! That's a burn. That's a real burn. I feel like Tom's been at Tom's house, so he knows.

I only called them by their first names. Like when you're yelling at them on the street? Tom! Tom! Hey, Tom and Rita! Rita! I just made a poops.

What are you going to do, Rita? Alright, Tim, what do you think? We have two years, 32 and 29. Can I split the difference and say 30? You can. Is that what you want to do? That's exactly what I want. Is that how you want to do this?

Are we doing crisis right? If it's 28, do I win? It has to be without going over. Great, love it. Had I known that, I would have gone 31. You're good for 2 to 27 there. So, Kurt says 2. Arden says

32. Tom says 29. Tim says 30. And the answer is 30 years. You did it, Tim. Thank you. First timer. First time.

I was trying to picture volunteers. Well, you know what? My manager said prepare and I prepared. Tom, I looked at Hollywood marriages all day at In-N-Out. And I'm going to make sure

it's not within eight months. Your voice is spectacular. Thank you. No one feels that way. I love it. Not in real life. It's fun for presentation. It's wonderful.

Thank you. It was not as wonderful when I was a child actor at seven. It was the same voice. He always played young smokers. Yeah. All right. So to determine our winner tonight, because each game, Tom, as you know,

it just means you get to go first in the next game. I'm well aware of that. It's this game that's really going to seal the deal. Uh-oh. Yeah. And so Tim gets to go first. We'll switch the order up. It'll go Kurt, Arden,

and then Tom, and then me, because I play along on this one. Of course. It's a little something called Last Man Stanton. Wow, that's over 40%.

I've pre-selected audience members to suggest to us a name for us to use in this game where we each take turns naming movies that that person was in. If you can't think of one, you're out. But each of you have one lifeline, and that's the person whose name tag you chose. You can go to them once over the course of the game. Where's TyDoggy19xx? Hey, what's up, Tye Doggy 19XX?

Good to see you. Oh, we met at the bar next door? All right. I'll take your word for it. And listen, T-Dog, what do you do for a living? I drive Uber. He drives Uber.

Do you have my head shot? That's good. Uber drivers aren't passing it around having a good laugh. Okay, so Ty has been selected to give us a name.

If we don't like it, I'm going to look and see all your reactions to it. If we don't all agree that it's a good name to use, I'll get a backup name. But Ty, what do you got?

Ice Cube. Ice Cube. So immediately you name a movie with Ice-T in it and you are racist. Doug, are we going? No, we haven't started yet. We haven't started. I'm just looking down the line.

Arden's not happy about this. Look at me and we'll do it. He doesn't love it. We haven't started. I'm just looking down the line. How does... Arden's not happy about this. Look at me and we'll do it. He doesn't love it. Can I say pass? Well, here's what happens. Everyone seems like we're all on the same page here. Ice Cube's made a lot of great movies. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Timeout. He's made some movies. He's made a bunch of movies. He's in movies. And then he's been on that TV show for forever, right? Of course. Oh, no, wait. See, I already did it.

No. And by that TV show, I mean the Ice Cube show. Ice Cube is one of the founding members of NWA. All right, you don't have to say those words. All right. Okay, so... In case you were have to say those words. Okay, so... In case you were thinking about saying the words. Where is Mark Gabaldabaldabban?

Did I get your name right? Mark Gabaldabaldabban? Yeah, how do you say it? Okay, see, that's what I said. Mark Gabaldan. Okay, see, that's what I said. Mark Gabaldon. Okay, so we already heard Ice Cube. I mean, I guess you could, you know, it's up to you what you want to say. But if I were you, I'd go ahead and say Ice T.

Force us to do it. Just to save our asses. But if you've got some other suggestion, it's your call. What do you think, Gabaldon? Ice T or Ben Stiller, I guess. Ice-T or Ben Stiller, I guess. Oh, hell. I love Ben Stiller.

Tom would have to recuse himself because he's written three of the best Ben Stiller movies. Oh, shit. No, no, no. Let's go with Ben Stiller. Yeah. All right, so we're doing Ice-T and Ice Cube. No, I, no. Let's go with Ben Stiller. All right, so we're doing Ice Tea and Ice Cube. No, I'm already...

It's the films of either of those gentlemen. And we start with Kurt. Yes. What do you got? This is going to be over fast. I love it. I just have to name movies? Yes, Kurt, it's your turn to name movies.

No, you have to name a movie that either one of those gentlemen is in. Just one. And then we'll move on to Arden gets to go next. Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I apologize. Tim gets to go first. Fuck you very much. Yeah, you know what? You weren't

doing him a favor, really. I am so fucked. Can I... a friend? You can go to your lifeline right away. Yeah, let's do that. All right, what's your lifeline's name? Is it on the back? What's his name on the front?

Mary. Mary, sorry, Mary. Thank you, Mary. Mary, what do you got for iced tea or ice cube? Straight out of Compton. Great job, Mary. I mean... Ice cube shows up up at the end

or something? Because it's about him as a young man and he was played by his son. I don't know if he's in that or not. Do I have to go in? Oh, she says you see him at the end. Yeah. How will we even know that

if it's true or not? Because I decide that it's true. Oh, interesting. And then I have the corrections department will deal with it later. That's a good point. Because Tim is not a threat in this game, everybody. Right. We can let him last one round. You know what?

I agree with Doug. Yeah. Let's try to be nice. Yeah, let's try to play. There's a headshot all over the valley right now. Let's play a friendly game. With a lot of failed dreams. You could be.

Your phone might ring tomorrow yeah oh god i don't even want to imagine that i saw your t your headshot in the car yeah right you just what we're looking for so i'm gonna i'm gonna say i'm gonna go with my lifeline yeah and stay straight out of com yeah i think he's probably his image probably appears somewhere towards towards the end or something. Right, thank you. Okay, and there's a guy over there, no. All right, well, we'll deal with that later.

Although the corrections department is off for the summer. Kurt, any movie that's got ice tea or ice cube? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to follow my sword. Oh, you're calling your friend? No, no, no no no no Friday? Friday of course Thank you

Is next Friday a movie? Yeah Oh my god thank you Kurt Thank you it's a miracle Kurt was my miracle Tom? First of all it was supposed to go this way So I would have had many answers

Oh, fuck you So the answer is But anything could happen on this show The answer is, are we there yet? Oh, very nice I don't think you need a mic drop after every Okay I have one

I think I do You have such slippery fingers Well, it's my turn, I like to play along I do I have one You have such Slippery fingers Well it's still It's my turn I like to play along I hope I don't Take yours Yeah I hope I don't

Trespass on your end You're gonna Maybe not Trespass Okay now Okay what's yours Friday after next Yes

Yeah Yeah The trilogy So now we're back to Kurt He used his lifeline already. No, I didn't. I just said you did. What?

No, no, you're right. You haven't used it yet. Yeah, I'm going to go. You're still in it. I like involving people, so. Okay, now you're going to go to your lifeline. Sorry. Give it out.

Tank Girl. Tank Girl. Tank Girl. I'll go with my lifeline. Tank Girl. Deep cut. Very good. Does Tank Girl. Tank Girl. Tank Girl. I'll go with my lifeline. Tank Girl. Deep Cut. Very good. Tank Girl 2.

All right, so Arden has to go to Gil. Tank Girl 2. Hey, Gil. Thanks for the candy and the cigarettes. Help a sister out. I love that we live in a state where it would be worse to give a child candy and cigarettes than marijuana and an edible.

Hey, Dil. I got nothing. Oh, we got nothing both ways. Well, thank you for playing. You're a great competitor. I really tried. I was a great competitor. Thank you so much. You're a great competitor. I really tried. I was a great competitor. You went at it. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Thank you. You went hard. I went hard. Thank you. But, Tom, what do you think? You need to use your microphone voice. My options are either T or cube. Mm-hmm.

Either one. Did you forget, Tom? A lot of... Hi. Don't do crowd work. A lot of stuff happens in between the things. So there's an amazing movie. You're making me forget the one that I had.

Shut up. That's my goal. And there's a robbery on the subway and Christopher Walken is involved and show your work Arthur too I believe that iced tea is like one of the the cool guys who like I go to your guys who blows them away. Because Sophia might know. Sophia, let's talk. She's going,

no, that's the movie he's describing, Anaconda. So save that one you were talking about for later. Now that I've worked out the one I was talking about. Anaconda. Which I believe is pronounced Anaconda! You know, with Arden out,

I think we have... I gotta describe it. She's out, so we're left with Three Kings. Boom. That was a great movie. I love that movie. It's the best movie Ice Cube

Or Mark Wahlberg Will ever be in Kurt just Kurt just poured Like 70 dollars Worth of wine Into a Bud Light can Again

It does Again By the way That's number two You've never heard Of a mixer It does taste good It tastes very good

I could tell It was expensive wine I'm happy to have it in a metal cup. I actually also thought this is expensive wine. Yeah, it's nice. It's nice. Thank you, Tom. It tastes like success.

Welcome to the party. It tastes good. Oh, that is nice. It's good. That's pleasant. Here, that is nice. It's good. That's pleasant. Here, pass it around. Wow, it really warms you up. All right.

Tim. Yeah. What do you got? Law and Order the movie. Ooh. I was going to do that. That's a good idea. Yes, but you fucked up. You didn't say SVU. Wait a minute. Wait a minute to do that. That's a good idea. But you fucked up.

You didn't say SVU. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. You got something? No, I am sorry.

Thank you for playing, Kurt. Now listen, I want to point out that one time I played this game and the actor was Robin Williams and I lost on the first round. I would like

to point that out before I lose on this round. You made a strong comeback. I mean, yeah. I've already gotten two. You've shown us that you love rappers turned actors. Thank you so much. I've already gotten two. If Robin Williams had been a rapper, maybe you would have known more of his stuff. You know,

it's a little known work that Ice Cube was in called Willow. Willow? Was he Willow? Can you prove he wasn't? Yeah. I think so.

Tom, it's just you and me Let's go Let's do this You got another one? Did you think of that one you were describing? Describe it some more so that I can name it Sure It's a T cube

Has to be a T or a Q Yeah Alright It has to be a T or a Q. Yeah. All right. I feel like, am I wrong, maybe? Cube has shown up in a Christmas movie at least once no you can't take hints like that you unpacked groceries for two hours

Kurt shut your mouth Doug made me come here Kurt. Everybody got a gift. Kurt, Kurt, shut your mouth. Doug made me come here. And then I watched you unpack groceries for basically 70 minutes. Which is, God bless. That's a lot shorter than two hours. Okay, so my last one is, here we go.

Cube or T? Cube. Oh, you have to call it? This is like bar pool? Cube in the corner. It's gotta be cube. It's gotta be cube. Shit, I gotta write that down for the show's hashtag

cube in the corner it's gotta be cube and it is my friend so good it's alright it is It's so good It's alright It is I like that you're telling people

Who are helping you It's okay Let them help me cheat It's okay It's okay Can I just say it Just wait To get this over with.

Barbershop. What? Wow. On the fifth mic drop, it was worth it. Barbershop to you. By the way. Colon. Oh, sweet.

That's a haircut. No, is there more words in the title? Probably. So I won't say that. I'll just go to what I was already going to say that we all missed until I say it right now. Boys in the Hood. Yeah. Yep.

Tom. Give us that barbershop too tag. Back in the shop. Still shopping. Fading out. Barbershop too. Stay out, whitey. Is there a white guy in the second one?

Probably. Both. What do you think? Who just said, aww. Like a puppy was dying. She said, aww, like a puppy was dying.

I'm a grown man. And I love you back. But now I'm trying to think of the next. We're out of time. Yeah, do it. It's okay. I don't know. I mean, we're not there yet, too. No, it's okay.

No, but we... You can't say just are we there yet to That doesn't count Why not? That's not what it's called Oh yeah, are we still not there? Are we still miles from our destination? Can we GPS it?

Daddy doesn't want a GPS. I think was after the colon. At what point during this episode has everyone turned it off? Hopefully not yet because somebody paid for an ad at the end. But that's okay because Tom Lennon is our winner!

You won! You said you were bad at it, but you won! I won before, so this feels sad. Sophia, where are you at? Come get all your stuff. Bring a helper. I hope you have a tape

player. Yes, Sophia. Do you have somebody that can help? Oh, wait. She wants to make a speech. I'm from Reno and I also have a Taylor Swift tattoo and an NWA tattoo. She's from Reno. She has an NWA tattoo and a Taylor Swift

tattoo, which is how to survive in Reno. I was on the main streets of Reno. You don't want my prize? Oh, I was joking around about you should keep that for sure. You got everything? I think you do.

It's heavy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that your gifts are heavy. Sophie. Congratulations. And here's your name tag back. Hopefully I'll get it all the way to you. Not quite. Didn't make it.

Yeah. Well, your hands are full. You got to hang on to that too. Alright. Let's do some plugs. What do you got going on, Tim Dillon? Where can people come see you do your thing? You could watch the comedy lineup on Netflix, Episode 8. All of the episodes are good, but Episode 8 is me. That's the one?

Yeah, and Tim Dillon's going to Hell podcast. If you like podcasts, one guy or thank you. Or girl, or whatever. All right, cool. Thank you for being here. Great first time appearance. Thanks so much. Yay. Kurt, of course, has been here many times.

Arden, what do you have to promote? Is it because I took my calendar out, Doug? No, what's going on, Kurt? You got some tour dates and stuff? When does this air? Tomorrow. All right, great. I'm at the Irvine Improv on Friday, August 10th.

Me and Jonah Ray are going out on tour in Georgia, Atlanta, and Athens, 30th and 31st. And then I'm in D.C. the 1st and the 2nd of September. The 7th and 8th of September. Where are you at DC? Comedy Loft. New place. New place. And then in Vancouver September

17th and 18th at Yuck Yucks. Nice. Thank you. Kill Dill. Where are you at? Where's the Kill Dill person? He's over there. He might have left. You didn't put his shithead on the back. Who's your shithead?

He might have died. Kill Dill, are you here? He's just a skeleton now. He's being quiet. Who's your shithead? Work tomorrow. Okay. You don't have to repeat it.

I'm going to say it at the end. Okay. Art and Maureen, what are you insatiable on Netflix? Insatiable on Netflix. All the episodes start this Friday, August 10th. It's really good. And I'll be doing Yuck Yucks Vancouver this fall. I'll be at Hyenas in Fort Worth.

And I host a podcast called Will You Accept This Rose Podcast about The Bachelor. And the finale one goes up tomorrow and the Bachelor in Paradise starts this week. So much bone zoning, so little time. What was the weird thing about this last Bachelor? He was like, he was like this, he

liked all of these terrible Instagram posts. Last night? Yeah. Yeah, he was like, it was tough because he was like a very sweet dum-dum who but we all knew was like a horrible racist but he seemed very pleasant on television he was like the most and then you're like ah and she doesn't know all this stuff and he like thought that some of the parkland kids were like crisis actors and stuff he like chris harrison or that's the guy who hosts it he comes out and says to the lady

no she it all came out as the season was airing because he was like he he was a front runner and somebody looked at all of his he liked all this terrible he liked like terror like anti-feminist like it you know like kids that are at the board anything that you would not want to date he liked and it like, and the other final runner up was actually in like a school shooting. He was like a kid that was like, he was a victim at a school shooting and this guy thought that they're crisis actors.

And he won, he won, he won. He was very pleasant on the show. And then he's like, whew, this is tough. They keep telling me, hang on, something's coming in. I'm hearing from the booth then he's like whoo this is tough. They keep telling me hang on something's coming in I'm hearing from the booth that he's from Reno. He's from Reno. Yeah. So sorry about that.

Reno 911 exclamation point colon Miami? Tom Lennon what's going on buddy? Doug all the same stuff as normal. Yeah, just drinking wine and wearing camouflage. I'm in a movie that comes out tomorrow.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. What's that called? It's called Dog Days. Very nice. Look at that. That's a tie-in. It's one of those awesome Wednesday releases.

Okay, so I'll tell you this. Look at that. It's a tie-in. It's one of those awesome Wednesday releases. But can... Okay. So I'll tell you this. When... If a movie's coming out on Friday and then they test it and it turns out it's better than they thought,

it comes out on Wednesday. They give it a Wednesday release. Yes. So I'm in a movie that comes out... That happens with boys in the hood. Yeah. So I'm in a movie

that comes out tomorrow called Dog Days and then I'm in a movie that comes out next Wednesday called Puppet Master. Let's hear it for all of my guests tonight. Tim Dillon, Kurt Braunerler, Arden Marine. And as always, $15,000 ostrich jackets and the people who buy them are a shithead.

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and enjoy Espresso Monster today. Goodbye. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies