Doug Loves Movies - Tony Hale, Matt Walsh, Reid Scott, and Nelson Franklin Guest

Episode Date: April 16, 2013

Doug welcomes the men of HBO's "Veep" to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats with 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody! Hey, everybody. Just for future reference in the booth, let's go ahead and bring the lights up before the song is over, because I'm just standing in the dark trying to figure out where the chairs are. And then the song ended,

and then there was still a few more seconds before the lights came up. My name is Doug, and this is Doug Loves Movies. We're coming to you from the, I can't even believe I had to just give that note. I've been doing this here for six years, and it finally dawned on me, I should say, go ahead and bring the lights up while the song is playing. UCB Theater, did I say that? Los Angeles, Tuesday, April 16th, 2 Oceans 13.

Do you guys got some name tags? Can you show me your name tags? Do you mind? I know it's a little early in the show, but I like to try to vine the name tags. And there's... What is that? A shoebox?

What's inside there? Is it like a recreation of a vagina? What are you... It's a... It's that tall building that's in Ghost Protocol. And it's... It's a statue of that, and it's in a box. And that's your name tag?

Is your name Dubai? Ian. Oh, close enough. All right, hold it up, hold it up. I didn't do the vine yet. All right. We're going to vine this side of the room for a few seconds. Then we're going to vine the middle of the room. I got to, like, because you got to wait a second for the lighting to adjust.

I still can't. I can tell Jordan's over there. Hi, Jordan. Wave, Jordan. Okay. Oh, look at that. Let's close it out on that one. Wow. Alright. That's a great vine, you guys. We just made a great vine.

And next, I'm just going to write, Hi, Jordan, as the caption. That's really the highlight I can't believe I'm wasting the listener's time with this Or you guys It's time for Watch This Not That The number one movie in the country is 42 The story of when Jackie Robinson Got encouragement from Han Solo.

And the number two movie is Scary Movie 5, where Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan encourage each other. I would rather watch 42 42 times than Scary Movie 5 once. Or five times. All right, let's stick with that joke. So watch 42, not Scary Movie 5.

This has been Watch This, Not That. San Francisco. Thank you. San Francisco. You guys really needed help with that decision. It's like baseball or stupid. Those are your options. So a lot of you probably won't see either.

San Francisco. My shows at Cobb's this Saturday night have sold out, but you can see me on Friday night, Douglas Movies taping at 8, and Countdown to 420 show at 10.30. And Eugene, Oregon, don't forget about the third annual 421 stand-up show at Wow Hall at 8 o'clock this Sunday. Bring your name tags.

You can play Leonard Maltin against my opening act. The prize bag, everybody, I think, brought except for one person, and you can see I've got four chairs lined up, but everybody brought their own bag of stuff. So it's bags and bags. So whoever wins tonight is going to walk out of here

looking completely homeless. Just walking down the street with's bags and bags. So like whoever wins tonight as we walk out here looking completely homeless, just walking down the street with a bunch of bags. And I'm going to discuss what they brought with each of the guests when they come out here because I really, I need some explanations. And as you know, I brought a copy of Smug Life and I also brought a prize that I got in Cracker Jack today and the reason I brought that is because it's no longer a prize really, it's just a sticker or some stupid

thing that even a child would go this is not a prize. So I threw that in the bag and then finally the third one, I've given away three of these now because he gave me three of them from listener Jason Duran this is Death Nurse 2

which I'm going to give away without even looking at it I'm not even going to watch it that's how confident I am that I don't care about it and that you will hopefully just enjoy it as a precious keepsake of this amazing occasion

and let's get the guests out here. Please welcome the men of Veep, Matt Walsh, Tony Hale, Reed Scott, and Nelson Franklin. All Veepers. It's the Veepers. It's the Veep Squad. Hey, guys. Yeah, just hold your microphones and speak into them. Yeah, check them if you'd like. Check it.

That's Matt Walsh, everybody. First to check his microphone. You know how it works around here. You are a co-founder, right? One of four people. I don't want to talk about this. Old guy. We're not going to talk about it.

I'm just going to say it. You co-founded Bright Scissors Brigade, the sketch group, and the two... The movie, the theme park. The Japanese massage places. It's probably 200. I gotta talk to you about the massage place. I think they ripped me off.

They probably did. It's not as inclusive as they imply. They say top to toe. Anyway, we'll go get into that later. But you are here and you are the only return guest this evening. You've been here multiple times. Yes.

And yet, backstage, you were kind of like, which games are we going to play? Yeah. You wanted to be... I don't want to look the fool. I don't want to look the fool. Yeah, but these guys, none of them have played any of them. So how can you look foolish? All right.

Just watch. Just watch. All right. You'll pull it off. Tony Hale is here everybody so excited hello now let me ask you something about Buster

from Arrested Development think about it like no matter how much abuse your character in Veep gets, at least he will probably never lose his hand to a seal. Maybe.

Maybe. You never know. Might take the same weird turn. You never know. Never know in Washington. But was it... Has it been weird putting the... You putting the hook back on?

Yeah. That was weird. that was weird. That was weird. I guess we started in August, reshooting Arrested, and it was very surreal. Very surreal. Because it had been seven years since we shot the last episode. Doesn't seem that long.

And as soon as you put the hook back on, though, you were probably just right back in character. Right back into, into oh this was uncomfortable and hard to endure this was difficult to work with yeah

it was fun it was like because I was a little nervous about getting back to it because you know you never there's a lot of

expectation but you know then I heard Jessica Walter who plays Lucille on the show her abusive patronizing voice

and I was like clicked right in. Oh, you hadn't been watching Archer? No. I have seen a couple episodes, yeah. All right. Reid Scott is here, you guys. And you play Dan Egan on Veep.

Yep. And I was going to say to you, strangely, I thought of you as like, what's it like playing like, you know, like the... A dick? Yeah, but everybody is to everybody on that show. Like every moment there's somebody being a dick to somebody else and just passing it around like a hot potato. Yeah.

Yeah. So you're not necessarily the biggest dick. It's a hot dick potato. And you I have a question for you. I even wrote it down. Oh, you were on My Boys. That television series. And I just brought it up just to say

what's Jim Gaffigan's problem? Oh, man. Did you get along with him? I did get along with Jim. He's a delightful man. He can be. He can be. When he's on stage, he's great. No, no, like Jim's, you know, blindingly funny. He's a character.

He's, uh, we were lucky to have him for a few years, and then we were lucky that he got himself written off the show. It was great. Oh, that's what happened? He wasn't in the final days of My Boys? No, he bailed. He got out before you all lost your hands to seals.

And my fourth guest, let's hear it for Nelson Franklin, everybody. And as you may know from listening to the program, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is one of my favorite movies ever. That's right, yeah.

And you don't have a huge part in it, but for some reason, from the first time I saw it, you really jumped out at me, and I've paid attention to you as an actor ever since. Oh, that's Como from Scott Pilgrim. Do you want to be my agent? I have a lot more enthusiasm for actors than most agents do, unfortunately.

But I thought you were awesome in that. And then I thought you were awesome hanging out in the screening room the other night when Edgar Wright screened Sightseers for us. That's the darkest movie I've ever seen in my life. In the swankiest environment. Yeah, we met in an elevator six days ago at Soho House. And now I'm here.

That's how easy it is to have sex with Doug. Just kidding. Or to become a guest on the show. Right, yeah, that's what I meant. I should have just asked you right then and there to be a guest on the show, but I was like, I'm going to be cool about this and just say, hey.

And then when the Veep thing came together, I was like, oh yeah, he's on Veep so this is perfect. You showed up briefly in season one. Yeah, just one episode. But you're going to recur now onward. We got four or five more, I think.

Me and Dan Bacadal, who's like an excellent Chicago improviser, and he just sort of shits on me all day long. It's my open mouth, you know. That's how it on me all day long. It's in my open mouth, you know. But it's really good. It's like a Smithers Mr. Burns thing. You know this isn't a stand-up comedian panel because they've all set their microphones down.

Like, what do we need these for? We're not going to jump in constantly with obnoxious remarks. We're going to wait our turn and calmly pick up the microphone when it's needed. It's freaking me out a little bit. Can you guys hold your microphones? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just much simpler that way. I had to yell at Captain America so many times to pick up and speak into his microphone.

Okay. But the question I like to ask all the panelists... Well, Matt, let me ask you real quick. How far into shooting season two are you? You're still shooting. We finished. Oh, you're done?

We finished like two weeks ago. But you were kind of making it sound in text today like you were hanging out with these guys. We see each other a lot. I feel like we're always having a dinner or a drink lately. So.

I wasn't invited. Uh oh. Not all. We've only been home two weeks. You did miss the awesome steak rides. Julia built us a steak. Wait, what?

Giant steak. We took a ride on it. It was amazing. I don't know what that means. Steak rides? You know what that means? Champagne slides. That sounds extra We took a ride on it. It was amazing. I don't know what that means. Steak rides? Do you know what that means? Champagne slides. That sounds extravagant. Champagne slides. We had a champagne slide night over at

Tony's house. It was fucking decadent. Amazing. I'm sorry you didn't get to go to that. We went bungee jumping in Argentina. Amazing. HBO private jet. So fun. Giant shrimp. The best shrimp I've ever had. That's a lot of bugs. It's not me.

It's not me. That's a lot of bugs circling. I'm like Pigman. Yeah, right. Who is it? I smell dirty. I just complimented how clean I smell. That's a gift.

We have two Muno's at the house. I have three kids. And there's two Muno's. Any fans of Yo Gabba Gabba? Kraut's maybe a little too old for it. Or not old enough. It's like they're in between kids and parents. There's a weird Japanese animation

like fetishy. People like the silly costume of that. Okay, so you brought that and you brought some lemons from your lemon tree. Yeah. Good stuff. Big fast, Jordan. Throw it back. Keep it. Good stuff. Big fast, Jordan. Throw it back.

Keep it. Keep it. Yeah, there are three. The winner is really going to get an abundance of wonderful lemons. And then, but there's... There's like a swarm of pestilence has erupted on your stage. That's from the lemons. Enjoy those lemons. Oh, yeah. They brought your stage. That's from the lemons. Enjoy those.

Oh yeah, they brought a bunch of dirty bugs into the situation. But you also brought season one of Veep. Yeah. Glad someone brought that. That's a really appropriate... Oh look, we also have from Tony Hale, season one of Veep. So, you can put them in both your players at home,

the bedroom one and the living room one. That'd be great. Sink them up and run back and forth. Fantastic. It's a great gift. You can't deny the power of that gift. That's amazing. You guys should sign these, though.

We should get some signatures on them. Do you sign plastic or do you peel them? You peel the plastic, I think, yeah. Is this going to ruin the value? I think the winner's not going to complain, hey, I can't return this now. Okay. Maybe just open one of them.

Yeah, there you go. Taking too long? Leave the other one available. No, leave the other one available for them to return if they want to try to be sneaky about it. Go into Best Buy and say, I'll trade this for eight miles. Does the same person win everything?

Does the same person? Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, so don't open it. You really have never heard this. No, but he's been on it a bunch of times. And then... I have heard it.

Who brought soft-baked snickerdoodles? Oh, that was Tony Hale as well. Very good. That's a very nice, thoughtful prize. There's the lemons. They're not easy to open, are they? And you also brought milk chocolate-covered potato chips? Man, wow.

Damn, you're really sucking up to this crowd. Yeah. And then we still got more, you guys. Well, I'm surprised there's more food and candies. Look at this. Yeah. Giant. Listen to how heavy this Snickers is.

That solid is fucking huge, man. You could almost kill is. That's solid. That's fucking huge, man. That is fucking... You could almost kill someone. That's like a gold bar. That's like Fort Knox. I was reading the thing in the car. It's very old,

so maybe don't eat it. That's loud. It's probably just best for propping open a door. And Reed brought one of the most creative gifts we've gotten in a while, and I'm very excited about it. You want to tell them what it is?

It's two free massages at one of Matt's... No, it is not! We're just trying to do some promotion. Thank you, Reed. Product placement. Always propose. You get one from Franklin and one from Tony. All right, good.

It's two free go-kart rides. Sick. At this really weird go-kart track. Yeah, that's way out in, where is it? Thousand Oaks. Thousand Oaks. Yeah. I hope it's still good.

That's a good gift. I can imagine somebody standing at the closed go-kart track, chewing on a shitty Snickers going, God damn these prizes. It might be a Best Buy by now. I have no idea. Well, that's a lot of good stuff, you guys. Thank you for bringing all of that, and I will

re-bag it. Yeah, one more thing. This is really sweet. There's two more things. Because of the bag it came in? No, no, no. You forgot my other thing. Go ahead.

Oh, okay. Veep Season 1 Commemorative Coin. Commemorative. All right, no, seriously. Isn't that the greatest thing you've ever heard of? And it comes in a little bag and is not as loud as a Snickers bar. And what was the other thing, Nelson? I brought a DVD of Demolition Man.

Oh, that's right. Demolition Man. Oh, that's right. Demolition Man. One of the best, worst movies. The longest Taco Bell ad ever. Yeah. Longest and weirdest. Yeah. Anyway, enjoy that.

Well, thanks, you guys, for bringing all these things. Somebody's really going to be in luck tonight. That's a great prize. Great prize. Great prize bag, yeah. This is like Christmas morning kind of thing Some of it's awesome And other things are like

Why did you get me this? But I got a lot of things So that's what's important We're signing the DVD for those people I'm going to make it so much more valuable I've got to put my mic Don't put your mic down You can't say anything funny right now

Just write your social on there real quick. You don't want me to sign this. Yes. Come on. I'm not a regular. You should write a long note and say, I'm not a regular on the show, but I feel like I'm one of the cast.

Nelson Franklin. Sign it as Julia. She was there, I swear. Awesome. Have you been to the movies lately, Nelson? You listen to the podcast. You know I like to ask everybody that question. The last movie I saw was with you like six days ago.

Oh, that's right. At Sightseers, which, let's repeat what you said, most disturbing movie you've seen in a while? It's like technically it's a comedy. If there was a slider where on one end it was the darkest, horrifying thing you've ever seen and the other side it was a comedy, someone dragged it all the way

except for a pin hair at the end. It's barely a comedy, but it's very good. I'm not saying it's bad, it's excellent. Yeah, we saw it in that plush screening room with some fancy people, and there wasn't a lot of laughs but I found it fascinating. A lot of like blood

shooting out of arteries and like, you know, people getting I meant amongst the audience members. There wasn't Matt, have you been to the cinema lately?

Not really. Star of old school. Star? Thank you for the upgrade and Ted I noticed recently I get so happy for you when you get into the fraternity just because they need your help with copying some things yeah I'm a good hang too don't forget that

oh no I was talking about your character not you in real life I've had some great times I was talking as my character I went you in real life. I've had some great times hanging out with you. I was talking as my character. I went deep. Yeah, you're still hanging on to that. You hoping for Old School 2? I need it.

Todd Phillips, if you're listening, please. I need Old School 2, please. Please give me Old School 2. You're not in Hangover 3? I'm not in Hangover 3. That's so unlike you. I'm really into Mad Men right now. I'm kind of like into that.

But that doesn't qualify as cinema. No, but it does qualify as close to movies as TV gets. I agree with you. I really enjoy Mad Men. And they had a great, great couple first seasons.

Anybody want to take me to task? A couple episodes, not seasons. This season, the first two episodes have been good. Killer. I'm strong on Mad Men. I've got to go back and catch up on the whole thing. Yeah, because Don gets... He's a sociopath.

I was talking to my brother the other day. He's a bit of a sociopath, that character. And we were like, who do you trust more, Tony Soprano or Don Draper? Like, who could you be friends with? He's a pretty dark character. Like, that's what I like about it. It's like really weird and dark.

Yeah, but he's not killing anyone. He's not killing anyone. That's true. But you could almost... I believe you could be friends with Tony Soprano and maybe not get killed. I believe that. That's what I'm saying.

If you make a food item that he enjoys. And you don't let him buy the restaurant if you make that thing there. Tony, help me out here. Have you been in the cinema lately? Or just watched a movie at home?

Could be a classic. The last... Can't wait. I'll think of one, by the way. The last movie I saw, because I was going to go on the TV angle

because my wife and I have been watching a lot of House of Cards lately, but I won't get it. Have you seen it? Love it. That's even closer than Mad Men to being a movie. Yeah.

Because it's on Netflix. And it's all released at once. Oh, you're right. You're right. Yeah. Can we talk about that? Or should I say the last movie? I'll say the last movie.

Let's talk about new media, guys. Tell us how much you loved it. Or do you love it? House of Cards? Yeah. I really like it. I mean, Kevin Spacey's dark. Like, it's dark. But I'm only on episode four. And I think Robin Wright Penn I really like it. I mean, Kevin Spacey's dark. Like, it's dark.

But I'm only on episode four, and I think Robin Wright Penn is fantastic in it. She's always been good. Yeah. And still beautiful. Does it bother you when Kevin Spacey talks to the camera? It did, but you kind of get over it. Yeah, it was a little weird at first, but then I got over it. Same way I felt during American Beauty.

I was like, quit talking to us. You're dead. And then I got used to it. Spoiler. Jesus Christ. That's like saying the name of the movie is a spoiler. The first thing you see when you're watching it. Reid, what about you?

I just went and saw Evil Dead this afternoon. How was that? Hilarious. I mean, really sweet, really heartfelt, really romantic. It was great. No, it was fucking terrifying. Most scariest movie ever, though? Their ads say it's the most terrifying experience you'll ever have.

No, no. I mean say it's the most terrifying experience you'll ever have. No, no. I mean, it wasn't that bad. Okay. But it's very violent. Yeah, and the effects are great. I mean, like, the makeup and stuff, like, if you go, like, I have an appreciation for that stuff. I think it's neat. I geek out at that.

But it was just, I think I watched half of it, like, through my sweatshirt because I was, like, just, you know, repulsed by some of it. But it's fun. If you like that horror stuff, it was fun. Yeah, I have a question about that. Sorry. Okay, please. Do you really leave thinking, oh, that was fun because it scares the shit out of me. I'm on your camp.

I kind of have the thing like some people leave and they're like, oh, that was fun. I leave and I'm like, someone's after me. It does linger. Right. I'm of the same cloth. And it's like it doesn't stop. It's like I treat it like a PSA or something. What's PSA? Public Service Announcement.

I thought you meant PTSD. You know what movie scares Buster? Everything. I don't think it necessarily has to be a movie. What'd you say? Seventh Seal. Nice. He's terrified of

Igmar Bergman movies. So thumbs up though for Evil Dead. Yeah, I enjoyed it. It's not as campy as the original Evil Dead, right? It's more straightforward. I wanted a little more humor out of it.

I thought I was going to be, because I was a huge fan of the first one. Yeah, that's really fun. And it was cool. They employ some of Sam Raimi's style of camera work, which is sort of fun to watch someone else recreate. But yeah, it was all right. I enjoyed it.

I wouldn't take my mom, but it was good. That's good. I'm glad you brought that up, because Mother's Day is right around the corner. And I like to help the listeners plan. I would not take Mom to Evil Dead. Although, instead, take her to see The Big Wedding. That looks like a huge piece of shit. What is that movie?

I saw that movie off La Brea on a building. What is that movie? It is insane. It is. As far as I could tell, the plot is just a bunch of characters at a wedding. So I'm sure they all have storylines. But for some reason, Robert De Nro's storyline is that he can't he can't he can't say that he's with uh his new woman he has to pretend that he's still with diane keaton because the parents of the bride

don't believe in anybody ever divorcing and moving on and having sex with someone else so they have to lie and pretend they're still together. From that premise, you're already like, fuck you. Why is this happening to me and to poor Topher Grace? Because he's awesome. It's a little bit

how I felt when I saw the new Oz movie. It's a little confusing that plot. I loved how beautiful Oz, what's it called? Great and Powerful? Sure. Yeah. Okay. I love that movie, but the logic was flawed because they were attacking two kingdoms, and then they

were retreating to another kingdom. It's like, that's not The Wizard of Oz, guys. Keep it simple. There's the witch, and she's got a castle, and we got our castle. Don't fuck that up. But they're all also Dorothy's dream, aren't they? Yeah. Oh, fuck, yeah. Is it the end?

She's like, oh, this was a dream? Yeah. Fuck that. Thanks for telling me that. Sorry, dude. Now I'm not gonna see it. So why is James Franco's character having a dream, and then he runs into all the characters from her dream? It's like Inception. It is.

Beautiful movie. Running around in each other's dreams. Yeah, it looks really cool. All right, well, this is the part where I have to say, let the games begin. And in order for us to play these games that I've prepared for tonight, each of you gentlemen, please pick a name tag from the crowd.

We've got some interesting stuff out there. If you're into Dubai, that gentleman can take care of you gentlemen, please pick a name tag from the crowd. We've got some interesting stuff out there. If you're into Dubai, that gentleman can take care of you. What do they advertise? They're telling you what sort of person they are? Yeah, kind of. It's just a name tag. Because there's a cartoon there.

That's pretty interesting. If that appeals to you, go grab it. If you want to have a siesta while you're sitting here, get that sombrero over there. That's pretty interesting. Yeah, if that appeals to you, go grab it. If you want to have a siesta while you're sitting here, get that sombrero over there. Oh, this is so much burden now. Yeah, you can put the mic down for this part, Matt. Oh,

Tony went right to Dubai. Yeah, take it out of the box and show everybody. That's from Ian. Wow. I can't believe that worked Ian What do these stand for? The letters on here It's like magical

I'm glad you took the cookies I'm glad you took the cookies I wasn't going to get them Lato Okay That's your name Lato? What is that? Last name's Lato

Check it out Alright but that's what we're going to call you Yeah that's good Lato Lato muffin tops Lato brought those That's the name of my next album Wow Last name's Lotto. Check it out. All right, but that's what we're going to call you. Yeah, that's good. Lotto. Lotto Muffin Tops. Lotto brought those crazy... It's the name of my next album. Wow.

Muffin Tops. Who made these? Oh, did you think Julia Louis-Dreyfus might be here, so that's why you brought Muffin Tops? That would have been pretty clever. Oh, my God. What did you get, Reed? Oh, that's sick.

It's a giant C-3PO PEZ dispenser, but it dispenses full packs of PEZ. Oh, that's sick. But you should still take all the PEZ out of the packs. That way you can eat them that way. I'm a diabetic. I'm just going to go ahead and commit suicide on a podcast here. When I was a kid, I had a vampire PEZ dispenser,

and I liked that I was biting his neck. I'm not really going to kill myself. Reed just said he's not going to kill himself by the way he talked. He just assured us he's not going to kill himself during the show. Well, I mean,

we'll see. Odds are. Is the person you're playing for named Pez? What's his name? It's on the... It's on the... On the front. Don't read the shithead if there's a shithead on the back.

On the front of the Pez? Oh, there's like a Return of the Jedi poster. We're just going to cut this out and edit, right? No, no. This is going out live tomorrow. Live? It's a dead die. Die.

My nickname's Die. Die? Die. Oh, Die. I get it. Die. Thank you, Die. All right, Die. Die. Wow, subtle. Die. Oh, die. I get it. Thank you, die. Die. Wow, subtle. Die.

And then... I don't know that I was being mean, but people thought I was. Yeah. And on the back of that is probably someone for me to call a shithead because if you lose today, then I will name a shithead on that person's behalf.

So that's what that's about. So don't read that aloud. Lotto didn't put one on there. You'll have to whisper one. Lotto. And what do you got, Matt? I got a fish on a stick. Cassie.

Cassie. I'm playing for Cassie. Is there a shithead on the back of that? Nope. All right, so she'll have to come up here and write something down. You have to come up here and write something down. That's a good one, Cassie.

And I especially like the way Matt is draping it off the side of the table. Like he's a fisherman who, when he catches the fish, decides, I'm going to let it swim around down there. Think about what it's done. Until the turtles get it. I'm really trying to catch turtles.

What? That's how you catch turtles. Yeah. You use real big bait. And you put hooks in it. Cool. You can't handle the truth, Nelson. You can't. You're afraid of it.

Where are you from again, man? Chicago. That's where you go turtle fishing? No, when we used to go to Wisconsin, people would catch turtles that way. Really? Pull a turtle into the boat by its mouth? I don't know. I never ate turtle.

I never will eat turtle. I don't like that kind of meat. Wait, do people eat turtle? Yeah. Yeah, turtle soup. Chinese? I like turtle. What does it taste like?

How would I know? I've never had it. This is a guy talking about turtle fishing all day. I thought she would know. I wasn't talking about it all day. You were bullshitting. I'm not bullshitting. Remember the finale of Entourage

when Turtle got eaten? That was like a David Chase ending. Wow. I didn't see that. Yeah, because he left it a little ambiguous. Did he get eaten or not? All right. This first game we're going to play,

and we might only have to play one game, but I have a second game ready to go if there's a tie that needs to be broken. But this game is called Bane or Lincoln. Bane or Lincoln. Jordan approves. This game is Jordan approved. I will say a line said by either Bane in Dark Knight Rises

or Lincoln in Spielberg's Lincoln. Tony Kushner's Lincoln. And each of you will go down the line. You'll guess one way or the other which one you think it is. You could say why, or you could be poker-faced about it if you want. But the idea is to be correct. And not necessarily agree with the person sitting next to you, because either one of these guys could have said any of these things.

Are you going to do the voice? That's why it's Lincoln or Bane because I do a pretty good Bane that just also kind of sounds like Nick. Is that how you discovered the game? I noticed that their voices were similar and then when I paid attention to

like looked at the things they say they say the same kind of shit. For two and a half hours each. And we've played this game a few times and I still have over a dozen quotes that could be attributed to either of them if you imagine correctly.

Alright, so Nelson will go first here and tell me whether this is Lincoln or Bane. Are you afraid of what lies ahead? Nice. It's a very high-pitched Batman.

I thought this would be easier than this, but it's not. No, that's the idea. It's how hard it is. I think it's Bane. That sounds a little ominous. Okay. Matt, what do you think? Is it Bane or Lincoln?

I'm going to go with Bane. Okay. Tony, what do you think? I'm going to go with Lincoln. All right. Before Reid decides to go with the crowd or with Tony, I'll say it one more time. Are you afraid of what lies ahead?

There. That is so spot on. That is so spot on. That's tough. That's rough. Four score. I have to re-watch Steven Spielberg's Lincoln House. You just made it.

That is Daniel Day. Something I got to see again. What do you think, Reed? I'm going to go Bane. Okay, so you say Bane, and Tony says Lincoln, and Matt says... I said Bane say Bane, and Tony says Lincoln, and Matt says Bane, and Nelson says Bane. Bane also. You don't know either.

And that line, our winner is Tony, because that line was said by Lincoln. Unbelievable. That's how you win. You go against the stream. Good move. But it ended too fast. I didn't expect that to happen. Let's do another one. But then

we'll play a more serious game to determine who's going to win the prizes tonight. This is already very serious. I can't give Tony's who are you playing for? Dubai? I can't give Ian the prizes just on that.

Four. We've got to give Cassie another chance. Cassie's poor cat has nothing to play with right now. That makes sense now. She brought a scratching post last week. I'm allergic to cats, but not to cat toys.

Okay. I'm allergic to cats, but not Phantom of the Opera. You're not allergic to the Phantom of the Opera? How about Sammy Davis Jr.? Both musicals. All right, let's try another one. Oh, I can't wait for the voice. Can't wait.

Tony gets to go first this time. Then we'll go to Reed, and then Nelson, and then Matt. The great day of reckoning is nigh upon us. The great day of reckoning is nigh upon us. The great day of reckoning is nigh upon us. This is like just watching the movie right now. Upon us.

I've been sent so many pictures over Twitter of people photoshopped the Bane mask on the pictures of me. So typical. Which one do you think that is? Who that is? I know. I'm thrown by the nigh, but Tell us everything you're thinking.

You're thrown by the nigh because you're a science guy? I'm nervous right now. Why are you nervous? I'm going to go with Bane. Okay. Reid, what do you think? I think it's woo-hoo. I'm going to...

I think the nigh is the big hint. I'm going to go Lincoln. Okay. Nelson? I agree. The nigh. I don't remember that in Batman. I saw that a couple of times.

And Lincoln. I agree. The Nye. I don't remember that in Batman. I saw that a couple of times. And Lincoln. I'm going Lincoln. All right. Now this game is back where it needs to be. Everyone has a point because Tony was wrong this time. Well, we're getting somewhere. We will start with... Think about it.

Think about it. Matt this time. And then go to Nelson. It's like you spin a wheel in your head. We're going to go with... To Tony. All right, here we go. I got to pick one.

There's so many to choose from. It's crazy. Okay, here we go. You can sustain. Or are you comfortable with the pain? Oh, no, wait. I'm sorry. That's from a Wilson Phillips song. Let's go with...

Now is not the time for fear. Well, that's right on the edge. I can see both guys saying that. Repeat the line, please. Bane, please. Are you there? Now, Matt Walsh, is not the time for fear. So good.

So good. Lincoln. Nelson. Really tough. I think it's Bane. Reed. Nelson. No, I think it's Bane Reed Nelson I think it's Lincoln I'm going to say Bane

Thanks Two and two I like seeing you guys stick together Where are the people that are beat up They formed an alliance Reed They formed an alliance Oh no they're going to get immunity Oh we're fucked Reed Where are the people that are beat up? They formed an alliance, Reed. They formed an alliance. Oh, Nelson and Tony formed... Oh, no, they're going to get immunity.

Oh, we're fucked, Reed. Yeah, and they tied for the win on this game. Oh! It was Bane. Wait a minute. It was Bane. Yep. It was Bane.

Why would Bane ever say that? Bane knows that. That's like day number one for Bane. Why would he even say that? That is not... You're right. It was Lincoln. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I mean, it may

have been. I write things down wrong sometimes. Well, then the Batman writers blew that line because that's not a Bane line. But what if one of the other characters just said, is now the time for fear? But I would remember that And plus those guys are so hardened

They would never have that conversation with their head coach Who wrote it, like Goyer or something? I don't know Write him a letter Take him on, start a Twitter war Yeah, what the fuck You don't get Bane, man. I know you spent a year thinking about him.

It was an ad lib by Tom Hardy. He's a real dick. Thanks for getting in touch with me. I know you thought I was a weirdo. So let's break this tie between Tony and Nelson with the little game we call

How Much Did This Shit Make? Okay. Alright. I'm gonna name a movie, and then you guys are gonna guess. And the idea is, whoever's closest without going over is you're gonna, either Nelson's gonna win the prizes for

Lato. Lato. Or Tony's gonna win for is going to win the prizes for Lato. Lato. Lato. Or Tony's going to win for... Ian. The great Dubai. Ian. He will form a dust storm around you. Yeah.

If you don't... It's going to get ugly. If you don't get this right. Speaking of Bane, Tom Hardy was in a motion picture called This Means War with Chris Pine and what's her name?

Reese Witherspoon. Pretty good on paper, that movie. But then people didn't care for it. Didn't work for critics or audiences. What's your guess, Nelson? Closest to the total domestic box office for This Means War,

according to boxofficemojo.com. And you're saying it didn't do well. I'm saying that it wasn't as big a hit as anyone had hoped it would be. Let's say 13 million. Okay. I figure, you know That didn't cost too much to make, did it?

I'm out I don't know how much it cost to make And if it did, I wouldn't tell you No clues I'm going to say $17 million That's pretty good, too, actually Good color commentary On your own competition.

That just sounded more right to me. Oh, Tony made a nice play there. Thank you. Tony Hale, our favorite player. Congratulations, Dubai. Woo! Oh. It made 54.7 million. Wow. Bullshit, really? congratulations Dubai it made fifty four point seven wow bullshit really yeah my god which that's not very much these days it's not that good seems like a lot

yeah right probably cost about 80 or 100 to make yeah right does that include like the ad budget yeah Yeah, with that. You can't erase like 27 or whatever, right? I'm just kidding. Come get your prizes, Dubai. Congratulations. Congratulations. We need Lotto to come up

here and share a shithead with us. Do you want to just write it on your box? It did sound dirty. And you also had an interesting walk. You walked over like you just got here from the Shire. like you just got here from the Shire. Yeah, so you're not always hunched. Yeah, you're not always hunched over like a weird...

No, that's good. And read how many years that's on the back of there. So that's the convenient. Let's see what that says. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's a good one. And, um... Oh, yeah, we don't have... Cassie doesn't have one, does she? No, I do. Oh, you do. It's on there. Okay, okay. Yeah, that's a good one. And, um... Oh, yeah, we don't have... Cassie doesn't have one, does she?

No, I do. Oh, you do. It's on there. Okay, good. Bring it into the boat! You got a turtle. What? This is like a real... This is some personal shit on this one. Or is this somebody you know? I know her.

You know her, and you work with her? Oh, okay. I thought you were just disgruntled with your service or something and decided to go after her. All right, well, this is an interesting array of shitheads that I will say when we are completely finished. Veep is in season two, Sunday nights, HBO. It's not TV, it's HBO. It's not TV, it's HBO.

It's not TV, it's HBO. I had to say that. Every appearance we make, we have to say that. Because it's true. And we have to make the noise that... Yeah. Sure.

Yeah. Yeah, sometimes... I always, like, sometimes I always like, sometimes I think it's gonna go The Simpsons But that's totally wrong Do you have anything to plug, Nelson? Do you have any work in the can, as they say? I did

I did an Arrested Development That comes out on Tuesday That was like me and Tony I'll get you guys back for the Arrested Development, that comes out on Tuesday. Oh, nice. You did. That was like me and Tony. I'll get you guys back for the Arrested Development show. Oh, good. Yeah, I know. You're in everything, Nelson. I'll be dwarfed by, well, you know,

everything that Alison Jones casts. Sorry, that was a little too inside, maybe. I don't know. No, she's good. She's good. Good casting. Yeah, just that and Veep and this Steve Jobs movie that's going to come out eventually.

I don't know. Oh, the Ashton Kutcher one? Yeah. That's all I have. I don't even have anything insulting to say. What did you play in that? A guy named Bill Atkinson. He was a graphic designer in the 80s

for Apple. This is like a true story. This happened. Bill Gates happened? Or Steve Jobs? Steve Jobs. I get it. One did happen. The other one is a myth.

Really? Which one? What do you got going on, Matt? Just putting in two bathrooms into my house. It's a nightmare. It's a big deal in the Valley. That's a huge day in the Valley. Or a huge month.

Nothing else. Just Veep. I might direct something soon, hopefully. Neat. Neat. Thank you for your support. Thank you for your support, Doug. When does the rest of development come out on Netflix?

May 26th. And is it going to be House of Cards style? All of them at once? They release them all at once. I think they release them, too, at 12.01 a.m. Right at the stroke of midnight. Like they do with the midnight movies. Yeah.

I mean, with the opening day of the movie, they'll show it at 12.01. Good story, right. The Stroke of Midnight. Like they do with the midnight movies. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, with the opening day of the movie, they'll show it at 12.01. Good story, Doug. We have to talk about new media sometime. May what again? 26? May 26. That used to be like the Star Wars release date.

May 25th, I think, is when all the Star Wars came out. Interesting. Reed? I'm doing an animated series. There's a movie coming out this summer called Turbo. It's a DreamWorks thing. Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, yeah. Ryan Reynolds is the voice of a snail that wants to go

very fast. Wants to compete. Wants to get into competitive racing. With cars. Wants to race with cars. And he beats him. Netflix is doing it. DreamWorks and Netflix. So I take over for Ryan Reynolds' voice. So I play the snail.

What? You're turbo? I'm turbo for the TV show. For the TV show. Wow. Wow, Ryan Reynolds really is. I heard he was kind of checking out a little bit. Yeah, do you get to date Scarlett Johansson now, too?

They split up. Is that who he's? No, wait. He's not married to Scarlett Johansson now too? Is that who he's... No, wait. He's not married to Scarlett Johansson anymore. Right, anymore. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. Sure.

Oh, yeah. By that... I'll have to check my rider. By that theory, Alanis Morissette's going to knock on your door. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know who else he's dated, but... Is that famous song of hers about him? No. I'm asking. No, it's about the guy from Full House. It's about Dave Kooley. Oh, thank you.

Grandpa doesn't know these things. I'm sorry. Ryan Reynolds went into his relationship with her knowing that she wasn't going to blow him in a theater. Like, that that was off the table because the other guy took advantage of that great thing he had going and fucked it up, and... So Ryan Reynolds walked in like, all right, guess we'll stay home.

So that was real love. He knew what he was getting into. He was in it for the love. Thanks to all you guys for being here. Let's have a round of applause. Thank you, Greg. Nelson, Reed, Tony, and Matt. Watch them on Veep.

And as always, I don't know whether to end with the big laugh or to end with the most poignant. Let's go poignant and then try to end on a laugh. The Boston Marathon Terrorist is a shithead. Yeah. It's weird that... Why would anyone ever applaud

a mention of the Boston Marathon terrorists? We've created the one situation where that would get applause. Right? Because any other time he's brought up, people aren't going to applaud. He or she. Very sad.

I know. As of now, no one's been caught or even taken credit for it. And Susan from Albertsons is a shithead. Oh, wow. No, that's actually true. Oh, you know Susan? Oh, God, she's horrible. She's the worst. Alright, well.

Confirmed. And the writer of The Big Wedding is a shithead.