Doug Loves Movies - Tournament of Championships 2

Episode Date: July 18, 2011

Doug Loves Movies presents The Second Leonard Maltin Game Tournament of Championships (Paul F. Tompkins, Scott Aukerman, and Samm Levine compete), recorded at The Jon Lovitz Podcast Theatre in Universal City, CA on Monday, July 18th, 2011. Featuring Chris Cox as Fake Edgar Wright and Jordan Brady as himself.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babysitting He sees with 50 eyes a pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from the John Lovitz Comedy Club Podcast Theater in Universal City

City Walk Next to Tony Roma's above it I mean California it's July 18th to oceans 11 and we are gathered here tonight for the second absolute final tournament of championship oh where's the name tags at? Let me see your name tags, you guys. Every single person here should have a name tag. That guy's got a trophy, so he's already a winner. There's a guy that just wrote Bola on a piece of paper.

Is that your name? Bola? All right, if you say so. Tom Collins wrote his whole name on the name tag. We got a picture of the big Lebowski that says JR underneath it. Matt has a thumbs up. Kate wrote her name on a video tape. A VHS tape. That's what movies used to be on, right?

Oh, there's one blinking over there. It's a blinking cupcake with a cherry on top. And there's a huge one over there. It's a blinking cupcake with a cherry on top. And there's a huge one over there. It's still not even big enough for me to read from where I'm standing. Oh, that looks like a bra that you have there. Oh, it's a mustache.

It's a big mustache. Looks like a bra. Alright, well thank you so much for bringing all your name tags and those will need to come out a little later on in the show. But first, there's a bit of controversy on my hands right now because it was pointed out by several listeners, pointed out to me on Twitter, and then I double-checked it. In the third round of the showdown

between Edgar Wright, Jordan Brady, and Sam the Mam Levine, little Wolverine inadvertently went out of turn. Yeah, on the last point, it ended up in a victory for him. So that worked out pretty good. But so in the name of fairness, I would like to pick up

the game from that stage to determine who will play tonight in the absolute. Because who noticed it? Who noticed that we went the wrong way on that one? A couple of you. A couple of you nerds noticed. And I always feel bad

when people point out to me when I screwed up. And whenever I can fix it, I like to try and fix it. So if you guys will indulge me, what I'd like to do tonight, Jordan Brady, who was in that particular competition, director of I Am Comic, he's

here tonight, ready to come back and recreate what happened. Yeah, he wants a rematch. He's Comic. He's here tonight, ready to come back and recreate what happened. Yeah, he wants a rematch. He's yelling. He's wearing shorts. And there's Sam Levine, of course, with his... He grew out

his little Wolverine beard just for me. Yeah, we want to recreate what happened, so you need to be... Oh, I guess I should be on that end. Hang on, you guys. I should be on this end. You're right. Good call.

Good call. You didn't even know which way... All right, I'm on this end. Terrible, Doug. And Jordan is throwing rub-on tattoos to everyone. What do these rub-on tattoos say? Do they say, I am comic? No, no, I wish they said, I am comic. This is Super Lounge. What's Super Lounge?

It's my production company to film comedians and podcasts. It makes a great tramp stamp for the young ladies. A tramp strap? You think someone's going to put that above their anus? I did.

No, you didn't. Show everybody. Okay, so you were right next to. No, you didn't. Show everybody. Okay, so you were right next to me, so you're there. Yep. I'm in the middle, and Edgar would be on my left. Yeah, now here's the unfortunate part.

Edgar couldn't be here tonight, because he's... I know, I know. You guys were getting excited, like, holy shit, Edgar Wright's here. He couldn't be here tonight, because he's got an important meeting in Hollywood. So, in his place,

I would like to invite to the stage someone who's going to do an impression of Edgar Wright. Please welcome the fake Edgar Wright, everybody. Representing. No, you're on the other end there, Edgar. Already I fucked up. I'm from England. We're used to being on the wrong side of things.

Well, I have not been to Universal CityWalk since the last time forced me to go to Universal CityWalk. It is really nice up here. Who forced you to come here? I don't know. Someone in the 80s? It's been a while. Did you have to come to the Gibson

Amphitheater for the movie awards or something? Absolutely, yeah. We call it an amphitheater. It's fucking spooky how much he sounds like Edgar Wright. If you don't look at him, you can pretend it's really him. I'd prefer that, actually. I prefer that you don't look at me. No one you don't look at him, you can pretend it's really him. I'd prefer that, actually. I'd prefer that you don't look at me.

No one in the audience look at him. But that's how podcasting works. Like, we have a great crowd of 42 people came out tonight. Because, you know, City Walk is a little bit of an effort. A little bit? A little bit, yeah.

You have to go up a hill and then pay somebody to park. Which nobody in L.A. wants to go up a hill and then pay somebody to park Which nobody in LA wants to go up a hill Or pay anybody to park So I appreciate you guys coming out tonight And let's settle this With fake Edgar Wright And Sam the Ma'am Levine

And Jordan Brady What do you say? Can I ask one favor of your audience Your devoted fans, Doug? Please Let's give a round of applause for the proprietor The man that made this happen What do you say? Can I ask one favor of your audience, your devoted fans, Doug? Please. Let's give a round of applause for the proprietor, the man that made this happen. He's up here watching right there in the balcony.

John Lovitz, everybody. Hey, John, thank you so much. Thank you, John, for having us. John Lovitz is not here. That's Hector. God damn it, Doug. That's Hector. He cleans up when it's over. The podcast listeners would have had no idea.

And then next year, they would have been clamoring here. You think that people who listen to the podcast would think that John Lovitz is hanging out and doesn't want to get on the fucking microphone and say, Hey, what's going on? I like to lie, or whatever the fuck. Is that what he sounds like? Fuck. I like to lie or whatever the fuck. Is that what he sounds like?

Fuck. It sounds different in England, actually. It sounds different. I think it's just the Skynet. You know what it is? You know why it sounded different? Because of acting. Ah, thank you.

All right, here we go. Garrett Morris has a comedy club. Just a little trivia. Yeah, he had the downtown Garrett Morris comedy club. It's not going anymore? I don't know. You just brought it up. I just brought it up because, you know. Garrett Morris is very old.

There you go. Our top story tonight Garrett Morris Alright That's an old old ass joke Something for the kids to Google

Where are we? Okay Let's play the game The score is Edgar Fake Edgar has one point. Jordan has one point. And Sam the ma'am Levine Lil Wolverine

has two. First to three points is going to advance tonight and take on That's correct. By the way, do I get to fake write Ant-Man also? And fake direct it? Yes, you will fake write and direct Ant-Man.

You'll get a fake check for your trouble. First of all, can I just quickly say, I can't believe that none of you guys knew who Richard Libertini is on that show. I know who Richard Libertini is. Well,. I know who Richard Libertini is. Well, you didn't on that night, Edgar. Things have changed. Back and bowl. Back and bowl, am I right?

You've done the research. Yeah, he said back and bowl. I mean, I'm vaguely familiar, but he's never headlined a movie. No, no, but he's the great Richard Libertini. Yeah, but the bulk of his work is like 30 years old. Yeah.

All right. Wow. I love that phrase. That's a popular phrase around my household, back and bowl. Back and bowl, yeah. Back and bowl. I thought the bulk of work was 30 years ago is what I thought you were saying. Back and bowl.

Back and bowl, yeah. We say it all the time. Yeah, yeah. And he was in The In-Laws with Peter Falk, the late, great Peter Falk. And he was the editor in charge of Fletch in... I don't know if he was in both Fletch movies, but he was in the first one. When did those movies come out, Doug? They didn't call it Fletch 1. They were a little old.

They were older movies, Sam. But, you know, I'm just trying to tell you that maybe you should take a look. Fletch 1 was 1985. Fletch 2 was 1988. I'm just saying. Edgar, you know too much. Shut the was 1985. Fletch 2 was 1988. I'm just saying. Edgar, you know too much. Shut the fuck up. I was 14 at the time. Seriously, Edgar. I'm sick of it.

Tired of you being a know-it-all? No, I hope you win tonight because I would love to see fake Edgar Wright go into the next round of this competition. Do you know what? If that happens, real Edgar Wright will insist that you replay the finals with him actually in it.

It could cause quite a controversy. I should say. You say that word the same in England and the United States. You know I love controversy. You say that word the same in both countries. I love controversy. No, you do not. Go back and listen to comedy bang bang

like I did. The real Edgar Wright. The real Edgar Wright would probably want you to say there's a screening in L.A. of the movie he executive produced June 23rd. There's a screening in L.A. of the movie that the real version of me produced on June 23rd. It's called Attack the Block. That part I knew. Oh, you knew it?

Yeah. He did his research. And it's not about a dancing movie like Stomp the Yard or Kick the Can. There wasn't a dance movie called Kick the Can. Yeah. There was no dance movie called Kick the Can. That was the working title, actually. Kick the Can was the shitty segment in the Twilight Zone movie directed by Spielberg.

All right, here we go. So now who is it going to start with? Presumably it will start with fake Edgar. Yes, we start with fake Edgar, then we come to Jordan instead of Sam, and then around to Sam. Are we still playing for the same people we played for on the other one?

If you know how to get in touch with them, then by all means let them know how this worked out. My dude's here. Jordan is here and you were playing for him. There's no, there's no prizes, but if you still want in Jordan. Okay. All right. Well, you know, Jordan, if he wins now, you can't play again in the finals.

Here's what we'll do. No, no. Seriously. If Jordan makes it to the finals, then he'll play for you in the finals. Deal. Done deal. I like that. Alright.

The person Sam played for already won some stuff. What was her name? I don't remember. Cassandra. Wow. Nicely done, guy who doesn't smoke pot and shouldn't have a memory problem. Boom! Keep it drug free, kids.

Keep it drug free. Pugs, not drugs. Alright, Edgar. I do have a gambling free, kids. Keep it drug free. Pugs, not drugs. That's right. All right, Edgar. I do have a gambling problem, though. Does that... Is that not a thing? That is a thing.

That is not a thing. Okay, great. Moving on. What do you mean you have a problem? I don't have a gambling problem. You don't have a problem. Okay. I have a solution.

Yeah. At Lindsay Boast. Lindsay, L-I-N-D-S-A-Y Boast, B-O-S-T. I hope I'm pronouncing it right. She suggested the category 310 to Uma. Nice. I've got a lead on this one already. I'm tracking this one.

That's motion pictures starring Uma Thurman. Or, you know, maybe she's got a small part. At Nicholas A. Carson suggested, Almost Famous. That's the films of Edward James Olmos. Wow. And then at Josh Dallas Razzo, R-A-Z-O, James Olmos. Wow. And then Josh Dallas Razzo

R-A-Z-O suggested movies to TV. This is movies that were made into television series after they were movies. Which one would you like, fake Edgar? Uma Olmos or movies to television?

Uma Olmos,, almost, Uma. I'm going to say... I'm going to go with Uma. Because I like the sound of it in my own accent. Yeah. Uma. You should definitely go with Uma. It's not an Uma.

Uma. Uma. Yeah, go with Uma. She's super duper. Oh, dear. What's happening, Fake Edgar Wright? Stop it. Okay, let's go.

Would you like a Uma movie from 97, 2004, or 2005? Oh, fuck's sake. Talk into your microphone, fake Edgar. 97, 97, 97. I'm going to go with 97 with a bit of reservation trepidation, hesitation the real Edgar never rhymed that

no, he doesn't use that many synonyms two and a half stars from Leonard Maltin, this movie from 1997 that fits the Uma category. He calls this movie loud and ultimately numbing.

Ultimately numbing. There are three, four, five, twelve names. How many names do you think you can get it in? Edgar Wright. Fake. F-E-W. The real Edgar would probably say negative two. Pussy.

That's true. Let's see what fake Edgar does. What would the fake Jordan Brady do? I would like to consult the fake Jordan Brady. Is that loud? Can I phone a fake friend? Yeah, you can phone him. You are the real Jordan Brady. This is against the rules. the fake Jordan Brady Is that loud? Can I phone a fake friend? You are the real Jordan Brady This is against the rules

This is clearly a violation of the strict code of conduct I can tell you that it's not Uma Thurman in the ceremony Written by Max Winkler Why are you doing that? Why would you give away what it's not? I was trying to plug the movie that came out last year My friend directed it

I'm going to say three. Three. Three names. That's a bold name. Strong opening bid from Edgar. Now we go to Jordan. He said three?

As it should have been. As it was written. He said three? Fake Edgar says three names. Jordan Brady. Real Jordan Brady says name that movie.

Oh, here we go. Fake Edgar's got a lot on the line here. Would you like to hear the clues again, Fake Edgar? I apologize with an S to Real Edgar. 1997, two and a half stars, loud, numbing. Thank you. Your three names

are Coolio, Vendella Kay Tomlinson, but whoever knew the rest of that, her name's Vendella and Vivica A. Fox are your three names for this movie that featured or starred Uma Thurman from

1997, got two and a half stars from Mr. Leonard Maltin. What do you think it is, Edgar? The point's going to go to Jordan. Things are going to get very exciting. If you don't pull this one out. And this is where the San Andreas Fault difference between real Edgar and fake Edgar begins. Well, why did fake Edgar start the bidding so fucking low?

Fake Edgar got confused. Fake Edgar for a moment thought he was real Edgar. Then realized he wasn't real Edgar. All right, very well. But it was too late. Stop asking us pointed questions. All right. My little Wolverine.

Just guess a movie that has Uma Thurman in it. That you think was Verbal Brown that time. As some measure of saving grace, as some measure of saving grace, I will say it's not Dangerous Liaisons. You know, that's what I love about Edgar, is he's very good at telling you what it's not. Yes, exactly, what it's not,

proving that he does have some film knowledge, and yet not this specific, exact piece of film history. It's also not Batman forever, thank you. Don't help out audience there's no just pick up just pick up a Thurman movie

I'm going to say that it's um uh dangerous um Michelle Pfeiffer dangerous minds

I think you were thinking of liaison which is would be a very foreign word that you could probably lay into nicely Dangerous Minds. I think you were thinking of liaison, which would be a very foreign word that you could probably lay into nicely. Say liaison. No, you want me to say it again? No. I won't change it.

It's not Dangerous Minds or Dangerous Liaisons. It is, you were actually in the ballpark. Batman and Robin. It's Batman and Robin. Yeah. Fuck. Poison Ivy. Coolio was in Batman and Robin. Yeah. Fuck. Poison Ivy. Coolio was in Batman and Robin.

Amongst the many problems. Coolio was in Batman and Robin. With that motion picture. Good thing the bidding never made its way to me, Jordan. Would you like to be a stalagmite? I thought you stalagmite. Oh, I fucked it up. I meant tight.

Okay. So the point goes to Jordan. Now it's two for Jordan. Two for Sam. John Lovitz, thank you for raising your glass. Thank you up there. John Lovitz is not here. And one point

for fake Edgar Wright. So let's see what happened there. Now it starts with me and in theory... Oh my god. See, this see what happened there. Now it starts with me, and in theory... Oh my God. See, this is what went wrong last time, is you started telling me how I should do it. I didn't. I did not. Instead of letting me decide. Go ahead.

Yeah, you went, I'm next. Go ahead. Run the game. Go back and listen to it. Run your airtight game, which has never had a mistake in it in its history, because you run it so perfectly. But the mistakes are usually not made by the players who insist, I'm next! You were very clear. Go back and listen to it.

I am next! I canceled... When it was not your turn. I canceled a trip to New York for you, and this is what I get. I know, to visit your father on his birthday. Bullshit, Doug. He will never have another birthday again. Seriously.

Alright, so, give me a second to think, Sam, before you tell me how I should contact this game. Very well. Or conduct this game. What the hell? Now you're speaking like real Edgar. Okay, so Jordan got the point, and he made him, you're right,

it starts with you, Sam. Yeah, you weren't right one other time when it really mattered. And was anybody paying attention? I wasn't. No one was. Because it seemed so right. But you had said at the beginning we were going to mix it up and go a certain way. We're switching direction each time.

Switching direction. And I, as a guest, I defer to the host. Yeah, yeah. The host is high all the time. He's the most unreliable person in the room. He's got the iPad thing. So which direction would we go last time? iPad mini.

That's an iPad mini. Well, in theory, we went... Yeah, I've got the iPad mini. If in theory we went here, here, here, it should now go here, here, there. Correct. Giving Jordan a terrifically unfair advantage. I know. It's exciting how that can happen.

Yeah. I didn't even get to defend myself, and now it's tied. But you get to pick the category and the year. All right. Very well. Choosing from these categories. Can I just say that in 2010, the Uma Thurman movie, The Ceremony, just out on video.

It's really good. It's really good. It's really good.. Alright, be sure to check that out. Just giving a friend a plug. Okay. That's the best way to end a plug is it's just for a friend. Because that means the movie could be absolute shit.

And you're just doing it because you're a friend. You should just say, I'm passionate about this movie. You know what, I'm passionate about this movie. You know what? I am passionate about this movie called The Ceremony. All right. If you check it out, listeners, or you guys here, write to me on Twitter and let me know. The Ceremony.

What you thought of it. And I apologize if you didn't like it. He plays an ingenue. Sam. Yeah, buddy. Would you like, at Kim underscore Schwartz, suggested movies where Bruce Willis plays Bruce Willis. Which arguably could be most of them.

But I mean, he plays a character named Bruce Willis. At Suzy, with a lot of Zs, suggested Beatles song titles. That's movies where the title is a Beatles song. Wow.

And at underscore, or I mean at the underscore Jew. Yeah, that's the person's name. They picked the underscore Jew. So this is the Jew that got there after the Jew got that and had the underscore. Suggests boat, cucumber, wire.

Which is movies with either boat, cucumber, or wire in the title. Love those cucumber movies. They are the best. Which one would you like, Sam? I will take movies where Bruce Willis plays Bruce Willis. Okay. See, now you're going to have a little bit of an advantage here because you get to pick a movie where Bruce Willis plays Bruce Willis from 1992, 2004, or 2008.

2002. 2004 or 2008. Sam gets to pick, Jordan. Don't get excited. And please attach your keys to your belt whenever possible. I lose them all the time. We're on stage with the custodian. What's happening over there?

Custodian. What's happening over there? Custodian. Sorry. Sorry, I just need one minute before I settle on this. A minute? You need a minute? Give me 30 seconds, Doug. You get 10 seconds and you'll like it. I will take...

Yeah, 92, 2004, 2008. I will take 2004. Okay. Ooh. One and a half stars from Leonard? I will take 2004. Okay. Ooh. One and a half stars from Leonard Maltin. Yeah. Yeah, he calls this movie Sorry. Yep.

And he says that Albert Finney appears unbilled. And there are... Wait a second. 18 names. I can name that movie in negative one name. Oh, shit! We're one of the winners of the hunt! Now we go to Jordan.

Who says? I say you go girl. You named that movie. I'm earning my rightful place in the finals. Listen to the cockiness. Look out front row. Watch out splash zone. This kid is cocky.

That was a horrible fucking tragedy that was Ocean's fucking 12. Well, it's actually called Oceans 12. Yeah, I know. That's a technicality. That's an incorrect title. And what's your negative name? George Clooney.

That's correct. Boom! Lil' Wolverine did it, you guys! Thank you very much. He did well. Thank you. He did well. Thank you very much.

Hang on to your ball, Jordan, because Jordan did not. Thank you very much. Hang on to your ball, Jordan, because Jordan did not win for you tonight, but thank you so much for playing. Jordan Brady, everybody! Thanks for coming down, pal. Enjoy some cocktails and some food on me. And playing Edgar Wright, brilliantly

I might add, is Chris Cox, everybody. Chris Cox from the Sklar Brothers Sklar Bro Country Sklar Bro Country Podcast Thanks buddy thanks for doing that I called him up yesterday and said how's your Edgar Wright

and he said I will work on it it was pretty amazing right like if people were listening to it we could have been fucking assholes and just like pretend it was really him we really should have why does Edgar not sound the same Like, if people were listening to it, we could have been fucking assholes and just, like, pretended it was really him. We really should have. And people would have been like, why does Edgar not sound the same?

He sounds a little off. He sounds a little weird. But still, it's kind of like when Jim Henson died. You're like, Kermit is a little off. It used to be like, why are there so many? And now it's like, why are there so many? All right. Let's bring him to the stage, you guys. This is what you came here for.

The showdown between Little Wolverine and Hot Saucerman and Paul Fancy Tompkins. Let's do this. It's Little Wolverine versus people in ties people who came dressed to play and people who didn't shave now paul before we play this very exciting uh

second annual not annual because we don't do it once a year, but the second tournament of championships. Yes, Doug. Before we play this, do you guys follow Paul F. Tompkins on Twitter? What's wrong with these fucking people? Are you going to follow Steve Martin? He's so hilarious. Yeah. I don't know.

Is he hilarious on Twitter? He's an old guy. The banjo isn't funny in a tweet. He's perfectly fine, Steve Martin. Yeah, yeah, he's fine. He was great the first three days. He was on fire. He came out on fire and then he lost his steam.

He was on fire. He came out on fire and then he lost his sting. I'd have to ask you, Paul, about your relentless retweeting of some guy who won't stop talking about Ghostbusters. Oh my God. What is going on there? Let me tell you something. What's the backstory?

There's a guy named John Moe who is a Minneapolis public radio host. John M-O-E. John Moe. And is a Minneapolis public radio host. John M-O-E. And he started tweeting these awkward sort of paraphrasings of the Ghostbusters theme that would be like, if something strange

is going on in the place where you live, maybe a ghost is around. Call the ghost catchers. Right? And it delighted me. It was just coming out of nowhere and he would do it. So I started retweeting it every time he did it.

And people were getting mad at me. He does it a lot. They were getting mad at me. And I was like, I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you. If you don't think this is funny, good, goodbye.

This is the funniest thing in the world to me. And I asked him about it. I had to write to him and say, John, why does this delight me so much? And he said, Paul, I wish I knew. I've been doing it since the movie came out.

Then I started doing it to my wife. And now I'm doing it on Twitter. I can't keep it out of my head. Ghost catchers. Ghost catchers. I don't have no problems with ghosts that I don't know. Ghosts are not an issue for me. It's like...

It hits the sweet spot for me of awkwardly phrased things that I love more than anything in the world. Who are you going to call? Do you have a cell phone connection? I have a suggestion of someone to call. The ghost catchers is it. Things like that. Yeah, they're really,

they are funny. Even your retweeting of them, they make me laugh, but I was really obsessed with why they were happening. But the people getting mad at me was the best. They were like,

stop retweeting that dumb stuff! But you could hear they're like slamming their bedroom doors. This is dumb! He's breaking up marriages. Yes, these childish people should not have gotten married.

They're having temper tantrums and they're responsible to a spouse. Did I hit everyone in the audience? I think I did. I like to make eye contact with every single person in the audience? I think I did I like to make eye contact with every single person in the audience You can here at the John Lovitz Comedy Club What? It's laid out well It's laid out in a very cozy environment

Yeah, there's good sight lines Nice save, Sam Scott Aukerman Just real quickly, what's it like to work with Mandy Patinkin? He was, okay, I was in a movie with him and the stars of the movie,

because I was instrumental in his casting, because I was obsessed with him since I was 18 years old. What guy isn't? As soon as you're old enough to masturbate, there's nothing like Mandy Patinkin. Oh man, I got a Mandy Patinkin

here. Once I saw Ragtime for the first time, I was like, forget it. They asked me to keep him company because they were like, they said, you know the most about his career. Ask him

a lot of questions and invest him in being here because he flew all the way to Atlanta to be in the movie. And so I asked him three questions and by the third I was convinced that he had no interest in talking to me at all because I think the third one was, so what was this fundraiser you were doing last night?

He says, just a thing. And then he turned around and turned his back to me. So since he was so rude on that third question, you didn't let him cross the bridge, right? Good stuff. Wow. All right. I thought that was a funny question.

Yep. What's Mandy Patinkin like? He's totally Patinkin-y. Yes, Paul? What isn't he like? Oh, gregacious. Gregacious. He's not gregacious. That's not even a word. I, Paul. What isn't he like? Oh, uh, gregacious. Gregacious. He's not gregacious.

That's not even... Oh, I'm sorry. What's Don King like? Let's look at the prizes that we're playing for today that you guys brought. All right. Good ones. Yeah. Some really good ones.

Sam brought a copy of The Usual Suspects. Damn straight I did. Stars. Some really good ones. Sam brought a copy of The Usual Suspects. Damn straight I did. Stars his buddy Kevin Pollack. Because last time I said, everybody's got a copy of that. And the audience went, nope, we don't. So now someone is going to have it. And the rest of them could still go, but we still don't. Like this guy.

If this guy wins, you have to give that to somebody else. You also brought Exorcist The Beginning. I did. I did. Which I had always wondered how that story began. Right. Because the version I saw, a girl suddenly becomes possessed. Like, well, what was she like before

she became possessed? Oh, I thought it was like it took place in hell, where the devil's like deciding to possess someone. I don't know, do you think I should? He's throwing darts at a map. I'm bored. I've never been to Washington. That would be an ironic place for me to choose a devil child.

I want to scare some astronauts. I haven't heard of this movie, but I haven't heard of a lot of things made by Kim G. Woon. IFC Films contributed a copy of The Good, The Bad, and The Weird. That sounds like fun. From IFC Films. Of course, Jordan Brady bought a copy of I Am Comic, so that's in there.

My CD, Doug Benson, Professor Urididian, as always, is in there. And Paul F. Tompkins brought hats. These have never been worn. The kinds of hats that he would never wear. I've never seen you in a baseball hat.

No, I would never wear a basing ball cap. At most, a fez. That's just for official functions. Yeah, when you're riding around on a scooter. I have my sash. When you're in a parade, you gotta wear the Fez.

Hollywood Star Lanes hat. Bowling alley is closed down. Yes, that's commemorative. Dennis Miller hat. Dennis Miller weird cable show that he had. Wait, not Dennis Miller the person hat? No, it's not just advertising. The man, Dennis Miller.

It was for a show that he had on cable. That show is also closed down. It's not a bad idea, though. We should just make hats with our names on them. I have a hat that just advertises Louis Anderson. Is that not... Should I not be wearing that? I wish you had that hat right now.

Wouldn't that be wonderful to see? Instead of just to talk about? It's in the car. And it should be really loose on your head. The Louis Anderson hat. As if it was his hat. Like it was his hat. It was his hat.

And then a Mr. Show hat. That's right. Very rare. Very rare. I wore my version of that hat for the past 15 years. So it's all worn out. So that one is in pristine condition Yes, like new

Also in the bag A Douglas Movie sticker And I always bring a woot monkey, of course Oh, and I have a t-shirt To give people Whoever wins I'll get your size And I'll give you a Wolf Dead t-shirt from Earwolf.com

I have t-shirts too too, to give people. Better t-shirts than Scott will give. What's this? Oh, you know, t-shirts from the space shuttle. The last mission of the Lovana space shuttle. They're beefy tees, so if you like t-shirts thinner, you're not going to like these. They're bad for the summertime, really. So I don't blame you if you refused my offer.

Yeah, you started really high on these t-shirts. You really downgraded your own shirts quite rapidly. As our government downgraded the space program. Oh. Keeping it topical. Keeping it topical. Paul F. Tompkins. The monkey was yelling, and now it won't.

That's how the woot monkey works, you guys. I would shoot one up into the balcony, but then my manager would catch it. Let him throw it down. Shoot it up to him, and then he'll throw it down. Oh, that's a good idea. That's a great idea. Didn't quite make it. Oh, it did make it. Okay, now throw it into the crowd.

Just huck it at somebody. Just huck it at somebody as hard as you can. Oh! That almost made it back onto the stage, Bruce. Someone in the front row just won a Woot Monkey. That was exciting. Rocket for an arm. But check this out.

If you were to rub that woot monkey, it grows into this woot monkey. Whoa! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a big style woot monkey. That's the size of a baby. I can't believe the response that got. It's ridiculous how exciting it is.

You pulled a celebrity out of that bag. He's here in person. I got a bag full of celebrities. Oh, Ernest Borgnine. I almost said it wrong. Ernest Borgnine. Ernest Borgnine. I masturbate a lot. What's happening? What's going on?

I masturbate a lot. Famous quote. The greatest perhaps quote of Ernest Borgnhead's career. Long-storied career. Yeah, and then I got sent this today. I don't know if you guys got sent this, but Kenny Powers

from that... Eastbound and down. Yeah. Sure. I got this and it said this whole thing about how I need to help spread the word about Kenny Powers. Interesting marketing they're doing. It's a shirt that says... They're just sending it to random stoners?

Yes. I'm in fact a random stoner. It says, I'm the CAO. You shut up, CEO. Only three letters. I am the ELO. Shut up. It's a good thing we trust you to run

the game well, Doug. My God. My God. Yeah, I'm coming down hard on Benson. Hey, I gotta say something about Sam Levine here. A lot of people have written to me saying take this guy down. And they've made him out to be like the villain of this little scenario.

Like he's a horrible person. Like no this little scenario. Like he's a horrible person. Yeah. Like no one likes him. Yeah. Like he's a monster. Please keep explaining, Paul. Like he's a disgusting worm. Like he's the worst person in the history of assholes.

Like I wish Hitler was on the show instead. Yeah. Yeah. My mother wrote you that one, I think. And I gotta say, Sam Levine... I wish Wilmer Valderrama were here to judge that self-inflicted yo mama joke.

Sam Levine, I gotta say, is a really nice guy and doesn't deserve that kind of thing. What is your nickname? Teeny Tiny Wolverine? I believe Doug called me Lil Wolverine. Holy shit, a guy has a Lil Wolverine doll. It's a big hand for Sam Levine here.

You can toss it up here right now. I'm playing for you. Sam Levine is playing for the guy who brought a little Wolverine doll. Yeah. That said, Sam. That said, Sam. Yes, Scott. I hope you've been studying your plots.

My plots? Like where I'm going to be buried? Yes. I'm going to bury you. That hope you've been studying your plots. My plots? Like where I'm going to be buried? Yes. I'm going to bury you, is what I'm trying to say. Very well, then. Game on. Here we go. Do you have any tattoos, Sam? No, I'm Jewish and scared.

Alright. I'm just checking because I've got to know where we're going to bury you. Sam's always one ahead of the joke. I'm just checking because I've got to know where we're going to bury you. Sam's always one ahead of the joke. Oh, my God. The phone has come out. The iPad Mini.

This looks like professors in their intern panel. The TA. The TA is here. All right, you guys. We're playing to five points Yeah It's going to be a long game Five be a long game Pointing gas from the front row

Five Five points You want to order another round of drinks Maybe some appetizers and a dessert And don't forget to tip your weight step They work very hard Could I get a drink by the way up here Yeah

Could we get some cocktails I would love another You know what I drink See you dude Vodka and tonic, the good kind of tonic. And Paul, you have water, so you're good. I'm fine. And Sam's still working on his. I'm good.

I got beer and stuff. But what would you like, Scott? Oh, she knows. Hef, yeah, thanks. Oh, she knows. Scott comes here every night. Bring me a Hugh Hefner. We're all. Oh, she knows. Bring him to Hef. Bring me Hugh Hefner. We're all regulars here at the John Lovitz Comedy Club.

By the way, why are we here? Universal City Walk is a hell on earth. But you've got to admit, though, Paul, it's great to see old hockey jersey up there staring down at us. Old hockey head. Kevin Smith is staring down at us. All hockey head. Kevin Smith is staring down at us from one side and John Lovitz from the other. So, you know, we got to make, we got to put on. We're the dick in the middle. We have to put on a really good show.

And I do, I do thank you guys for coming to this facility. It's a little, you got to pay to park and stuff. And that's, that's hard to do in Los Angeles. And then you're like by noise, as if noise was a planet that said, let's destroy Earth. There's a lot of busking going on out there. I didn't even notice that. Let's destroy Earth

via terrible jazz. Terrible jazz. The only kind. I'm a musician. Oh yeah, what do you play? Terrible jazz. No, I don't mean that. I have a musician. Oh, yeah, what do you play? Oh, terrible jazz. You know I don't mean that. I have a loyal following of cab drivers. Oh, my God.

I was in a cab the other day. The guy was blaring NPR, and it was talking. Right. But he was blaring it, and it's like you feel shitty saying turn down that NPR. But it was, you know, loud. I don't need to hear that. Loud's loud, Doug. I don't need to hear that shit loud.

Oh, thank you so much. Yeah. A lot of applause for the lady. Oh my gosh, thank you. I wasn't done with that one but that's cool. Very polite applause. I'm good, thank you.

I'm good, thank you so much. Thank you very much. They got a great staff of three here at the... It's true. I've told a cab driver to turn down that NPR, but NPR stood for something else. What did it stand for? Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. N-word person rap? Holy shit. N-word person rap? Holy shit. N-word person. N-word person rap? Scott Aukerman, have you lost your mind? There would be a W in there, stupid. This guy.

I love N-word person, though. Like anyone's ever said nigger person. Wow. I'm tired of these nigger persons coming into my town, drinking my water. It's happening. Are we going to bleep this, by the way? Bleep it? No, no, no.

No, no, no. I think everyone listening understood the fun with which I was using that word sure I have a good time with the word person he had an angry look on his face when he said that he was murdering someone when he said it

alright who should we start with audience? I don't know where to start. Name tags. Good call. Let's pick name tags, you guys. Sam already has his little Wolverine. My man is John over there.

He brought a little Wolverine. Let's let Paul. I got to take this. Paul has this crazy ship. Paul is picking the blinking. Holy moly. Wow. Look at this thing.

I thought it was a cupcake. It's like some sort of float. It's a milks a cupcake It's a milkshake Of course I drink your milkshake I drink it up He would never drink Such an ornate milkshake But I love that You were in that movie of course

Yes of course I was Is that why you did that? To suck up to him? Yes. No, it isn't. You just got lucky? I think he just remembered that I was in that movie. I don't blame you.

You still might not have been aware. You played Guy who looks like Paul F. Tompkins? Yes, number one. Yeah. And who did you pick, Scott? I picked Stefan, who is taking a plane break. Wow. What does that mean?

Is that Leslie Nielsen on there? I don't know why Leslie Nielsen. It's a picture of a plane and Leslie Nielsen. Because of airplane. Oh, airplane. He was in airplane. Plane break is a reference to Scott's podcast, Comedy Bang Bang. Oh, okay.

We take plane breaks because there's so much noise that whenever a plane goes... Yeah, his studio sucks. And, you know, it does. Who's this guy? And it's like, you might as well be at LAX. Hey! Shut the fuck up. Hey!

You go come into the John Lovitz Comedy Club and talk to me that way. What's happening? We're debuting our new characters. The two Italian guys who can't seem to agree. I love these characters. But we got to play the Leonard Maltin game. That's what we're here for.

Let's start with Sam. Yeah. Yeah, let's start with Sam. He's been through a lot. Thank you very much. He's been through a lot. I had to win the game twice to be here. Yeah, yeah.

And also still bitches about it in spite of the fact that it was his fault. Not my fault. Let's wait for this guy to finish his text. Not my fault. It's all good. What are you texting? That's all good what are you texting that's right yeah you buddy you take it outside

alright he's texting the Vegas Oddmakers about the potential results who's that character I don't know he did a little voice I don't know who that was

alright Sam we'll start with you. Then we'll move to Mr. Tompkins and then to Mr. Hot Saucerman. Would you like... Here are your category options. We're at the John Lovitz Comedy Club.

The films of John Lovitz. Nice. Yeah. Or Husky Rump on Twitter. Spelled exactly like Husky Rump on Twitter spelled exactly like Husky Rump suggested Flash

Grodin which is the films of Charles Grodin and at Andrew Fuzzy also spelled as you'd expect suggested Who Are You? and that's films in which

a character has a bad case of amnesia. Yeah. Not just the mild case. No, the mild cases rarely make it into feature films. Like, I know you. Who am I? Oh yeah, I remember.

Which one would you like, Sam? I will go with who are you who are you would you like a who are you from 2001 2002 or 2010 2002 Or 2010? 2002. Interesting choice. Three and a half stars from Mr. Leonard Maltin. Yeah. He calls this movie crackling. Yeah. And he also says that the alternate version, the alternate edition runs 119 minutes.

That's a fantastic clue. From 2002, three and a half stars, and there are six names. How many names do you think you can get it in? Sam the ma'am. Five names. You heard that right. What's happening to the world? I said five names, Paul.

It's on you now. What's that? It's on you. It's on you. What's going on? I'm going to say I can name that movie in zero names. Let's get this game started. Drink that milkshake. I think you're thinking it's a movie.

I thought it was, but I don't think it's that movie. We'll find out. What is this? Poker table talk? No. Scott Aukerman. I think I know it too. I think the alternate version gives it away. So I would say I can name it a negative one movie.

Son of a bitch. These are real players, you guys. I get to say Scott. Name that movie. You gotta name it and name that movie. All right. You've got to name it and name one name. Holy shit. The top name.

I am going crazy over here. What is it, Scott? Is the movie. You want the clues again? Crackling? Crackling. Much like Rosie. Alternate edition, 119 minutes,

three and a half stars from Leonard. I think it's Memento? I think you're wrong. Is it The Bourne Identity? It is The Bourne Identity. Yeah, that's what I thought it was. It did crackle. That movie did crackle. And I get the point anyway.

How about that shit? Alright, Sam Levine is on the board, everybody. Wow! It's not so much that you're not a gracious winner, you're not even a gracious player. I'm so awful. Oh! For the record,

people are not booing me right now after what Paul just said, which is accurate. It's that I spilled my beer. Yes. And everyone hates to see spilled alcohol. I could have been electrocuted. Wait, really quickly, really quickly, name a homie it's for.

Paul Rodriguez. Paul Rodriguez. He is not, he's still with us. He's still with us. Paul, what were you going to guess if I had said name that movie? Oh, I don't know. I don't know. It was a movie about amnesia.

Why the fuck would I know? All right. I thought the alternate version was the one where it goes in order. What? What? Isn't there like an alternate version where it goes, yeah. I ruined pain break. Guys, I'm really sorry about my attitude tonight.

I'm a little drunk. I haven't eaten anything today. And they've just been giving us beer. Hey, hey, man, eat something. How about my dick? All right, guys, I'm just going to take about eight seconds here to eat Scott Aukerman's dick. But it's probably not going to be very filling.

Oh, shit. Oh, my God. This is... These are some fierce competitors. Not since the ladies of Japan beat the ladies of the United States have I seen... There you go.

There's a new drink for the Wolverine. Thank you very, very much. Thanks, sweetie. Would it be possible to get a chair up here to put something? A stool? I know. Can we get some podiums and a credenza? If you have such a thing.

Perhaps a balustrade? We'd settle for a writing desk. How many... What's happening? Okay, so... Sam just got the point.

That's all right. We're playing to five. And he made Scott name it, who could not, in fact, name it. So we're going to start with Paul this time. Oh, hi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it would go to back to the other...

Go the other way. Yes. Nice. I like it. Pick a category, Mr. Tompkins. Of the ones that have been previously mentioned, yes? No, the ones I'm about to tell you. Oh!

There's a twist, Paul. I think you're going to like these. At Evan John Rocha suggested Word Up. That's films that have words in the title. No, that have a lot of cameos. Word Up.

It's not bad. Not bad. It's fun. Captain America opens on Friday here in America. So motion pictures that have either the word Captain or American or America

I should say in the title. And then I was just recently in Columbus, Ohio performing and so I worked up a one guy clapped up there at Jamie Vernon suggested Shot in the Bus which is movies that are shot in Columbus, Ohio.

I know. Why would you even know what movies are shot in Columbus, Ohio? Oh, yeah, that movie that took place there. Shot in or set in? Shot in. Jesus. So it might not even be set there. Like an example would be like

parts of Air Force One were shot there. Really? Yeah. Why do you know that? So wait a minute. So it's not the whole movie. It's just parts of a movie might have been shot there. Really? Why do you know that? So wait a minute. So it's not the whole movie. It's just parts of a movie might have been shot there? Yeah.

All right. Just so we're clear. There's no reason to get totally clear on it because no one's going to pick it as a category. No, say goodbye to that category forever. Would you like a movie with a lot of cameos or Captain America? What up?

Would you like a movie with a lot of cameos from 1963, 1979, or 1985? Yeah, this is a tough category. I am going to say 1963.

This is going to get interesting right now because... I think I know where it's going to get interesting. I think you know. It's going to get interesting. I think you know. It's two and a half stars from Leonard. He calls this movie an attempt. As a filmmaker, you don't want to see that in a review at all.

And he also says, bigness doesn't equal greatness. And there are... 16 names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Paul F. Tompkins? I can name that movie in 15 names. I can name that movie in 14 names. Scott? Scott? I can do that movie in 14 names. Scott?

I can do it in 10. Oh. I can do it in 9. 8 names. This is exciting. 63. The Beatles were just about to come over to America. That's exciting. 63. The Beatles were just about to come over to America.

Our young president shot down in his prime. Event sometime around there. I could do it in eight. Wait, no. That's more now. That's what I'm saying. Did you mean you could also do it in 8? Oh new rule I can do it in probably

10 through 8 names So he said 8 I said 8 I'll say 7 I'll say 6 Paul name that movie That movie is Point to Paul F. Tompkins It's a mad Seven. I'll say six. Paul, name that movie. Oh. That movie is... Point to Paul F. Tompkins.

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world. I'm sorry. You're not really going to do this. Yeah, it's four mads and it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world. That's correct.

Wait a minute. He didn't even need to hear the names. I counted on my fingers. it's four mads and it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world. That's correct. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. He didn't even need to hear the names. I counted on my fingers. Since when do you repeat movies on this podcast? Since always. I mean, there's only so many awesome movies. In fact, I'm pretty sure you got that movie the last time it was given.

That's right, I did, Sam. That's right, I goddamn did. Now, Doug, honestly... Now I've gotten it twice. Did you have any idea? I can't wait for the third time. I get it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world. I've got to take in more air before I start those sentences.

It's really... Diaphragm. You have to try to stick to movies that everybody's heard, and I've been doing this for many years and I never kept track. It's going to happen. That happened within one year. Yeah, but when did I ever say that that couldn't possibly happen?

I've been listening to your podcast forever. Do you think I'm Jeopardy? Sam! I defended you, man. You're going to get hypertension. I'm trying to get a handle on the I defended you, man. You're going to get hypertension. Scott, I'm just trying to get a handle. I'm trying to get a handle on the rules. Sam, show me on Little Wolverine where somebody turned you into such a jerk. Oh, man.

Oh, Paul. Point to where you got touched. It was right here. Somebody broke my heart. Oh, no. It was you, Paul broke my heart Oh no It was you Paul F. Tompkins What? You broke my heart

You sure it wasn't little juggernaut? Nobody can stop him It might have been little juggernaut Hang on, hang on Does the doll fall to his knees and scream at the heavens? Yeah it does My heart My heart My heart!

My heart. My heart. His heart's not made of adamantium. All right. It's just regular. Adamantium. No, this is my world. Paul has one.

Sam has one. Paul, I put that water up on that stool for you because you're my friend and I did not want you to be parched. Who made Paul name that? I did. Okay, so we'll start with Scott. Oh, boy. Then we'll come around the other way, right? That's one point to Sam, one point to me.

That's correct. That's correct. Scott. Would you like... Yes, out of five, that's correct. Scott, would you like 310 to Uma? Scott, would you like 310 to Uma, Almost Famous,

or movies that became TV shows? What was Almost Famous? Edward James, Almost. That's funny. I'll take 310 to Uma, because that's how many inches my dick is when I look at her. 3 to 10. I wish I how many inches my dick is when I look at her. 3 to 10. But I'm somewhere between 3 and 10.

More around 3. It varies. It varies depending on the scene or the film. Yeah, you're not promising anything. You're just saying this is the range. Like during Dangerous Liaisons, you're probably at a 10. Sure. And during the scene where they're close. Dangerous Liaisons. Dangerous Liaisons you were probably at a 10 and during the scene where they Dangerous Liaisons

would you like a Uma Thurman movie from 2004 or 2005 four three stars from Leonard Malton he calls this movie perfect what three stars I don't know He calls this movie perfect. What? Three stars.

I know. I don't know how the word perfect starts off his review. But yet it does. What gets four stars? Is he waiting for a movie that's about Leonard Maltin? Like, finally! The human experience perfectly documented. I really related to it.

And here's an extremely strange clue. Leonard says there's a quick shot in the movie of Roy Rogers in a William Whitney western. What? Yeah. Three stars. There's a quick shot of Roy Rogers in a western, and it's perfect. What? Yeah. Three stars. There's a quick shot of Roy Rogers in a western, and it's perfect.

And there are 11 names. How many names do you think you can get it in? I can do that in 11. Smart opening bid. Go around to Paul this time? I can do it in. So you were going to say something, Sam. I was going to... What?

I just want to make sure that you're right on the... Did you have some rules of order? I want to make sure also. Do you think it's right? How does this feel to you? You just shrugged your shoulders like you don't know. Like you always are on top of it. Whose turn is it?

Well, it can't be Paul's because last time it came to me after Paul and I said name that movie. So let's go to you then. It's got to be me. Jesus. I don't know why it has to be so hard. You're very angry. I'm not. I wasn't in an angry tone.

I was being quiet. Sam, it's a fun game. It's a fun game. No, I was being quiet. I wasn't being angry. We're here to have fun. Everybody likes you. No.

No. My blood sugar is very low. You should have eaten something. I wanted to, but Doug started the show on time for once. This was your only shot at eating something? Was it the John Lovitz Comedy Club? I've been on the road, man. It pretty much always starts on time. You can never order food right when it's supposed to start

and then wait around for your food to show up. I've made a lot of bad decisions today. As we all have, Sam. As we all have. All right. All right. I apologize to everyone in the audience, everyone at home,

and my parents who I have shamed. Would you two queer baits shut the fuck up and play the game? Oh! What did you bid? You said 11 names? I said 11. All right. I will say 10 game. What did you bid? You said 11 names? I said 11. All right, I will say 10 names. Do I go now?

Only after much discussion. Well, I didn't want us to have to repeat the finals again. No, I know. I get it, Sam. I get it. I get it. I'm going to say I can name that movie that we're talking about. How many did you say?

I said ten. You just brought down one more. I'm going to go lower. I'm going to say somewhere in the neighborhood of seven. Oh my.

Scott. I'm all be there. I'm all be there. Y'all all't say six. Oh, you say six? Sam? There were 11 names total.

Is that correct? I'm going to say Scott, name that movie. Six names. A perfect Uma Thurman. Here's your six names. A perfect Uma Thurman. Here's your six names. You want the clues again? Perfect. Roy Rogers.

Roy Rogers shows up somehow. I've seen this movie. I can't give any more clues. Doug's seen it. Good clue. If I had said how many times, then you probably would have known. 2004.

Yes, sir. Uma Thurman's in it, along with Bo Svensson, Jeannie Epper, Samuel L. Jackson, Sid Haig, Larry Bishop, and Michael Parks. People in the audience know it. Does Scott Aukerman know it? People in the audience know it. Does Scott Aukerman know it? Is Scott Aukerman about to get on the board by saying... Kill Bill.

Volume 1. It's volume 2! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! I just have to say, they're technically one movie. That's true. But not released in the same year.

Samuel L. Jackson is not in volume one. Were they released in the same year? No, no, totally different year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sam Jackson is not in volume one. But that's a good... Why would he be, right? Good try, Scott.

So Sam got the point for that? Oh, these people are furious. They're like, forget it. Okay, we start with Paul and then go to Sam, right? Yeah. Nighty night, guys.

Where are you going? Headed off upstairs to bed? They're going to the bathroom. Yeah, yeah. Movie trivia makes some people have to take a dump. I would love it though if there were beds up there. Bathroom. Yeah, yeah. Movie trivia makes some people have to take a dump. I would love it. I would love it, though, if there were beds up there.

If people would go up to bed during the show. Wouldn't that be nice? Because that's how a lot of people listen to podcasts. When they're dozing off. Why aren't there more public beds? There's a place in New York where you can rent a bed. Go take a nap. That's right. Go take a nap.

Sure. Absolutely. It's called Japan. But I mean, why aren't there more public beds in places that aren't disgusting? Like a city park? Yeah, like a city park You read my mind Paul, why don't we bring some beds down to Griffith Park tomorrow? Nice clean sheets Now you're kidding around, but I'm going to fucking do this I rented a truck in anticipation.

Well, I just bought a canopy bed. Wow. That I could sleep outside in. All right. In which I could sleep outside. Forgive my grammar. Doug, what the fuck? Never in an apartment.

Paul, would you like movie titles that are Beatles songs? Movies that have either Boat, Cucumber, or Wire in the title. I'm trying to think of the one movie that has Cucumber in the title because there's no way, no way he would go Boat or Wire. John Lovitz.

I want the films of Mr. John Lovitz. Yes. Let's show some respect. Respect. Respect the JL. 92, 94. The original J-Lo. That's what it says on his business card.

He is still John from the block. That's right. No matter how many rocks he's got. Some people have been fooled by them. Why would they be fooled by the rocks? He tells people not to be fooled by them. They're just fucking rocks.

They're just rocks, yeah. Igneous quartz feldspar. 1992 1994. Rock roll call! Or 2000. What? 1994, or 2000. What? Say the years again. 92, 94, or 2000. 92.

Keep it more in these or John Lovett's movies. Wait, 92, what were the other two years? It's too late. You picked 92. Three stars from Leonard. He calls it thoroughly entertaining. That's right, he does. Again, Leonard, why only three stars?

Thoroughly. If it's fucking thorough. Thoroughly. It's completely thorough. From start to finish. It gets it completely done. Yes, yes, yes. Three stars.

And then he says... Oh, boy, they just hit a bullseye. It's okay. And he also says, Later, comma, briefly, aseye. It's okay. And he also says later, comma, briefly, a TV series. That's right, Len. So yeah, we're mixing categories now. Now do I start the biddos?

Three stars, 92, love it. And there are 14 names. I can name that movie. Oh, hi, hello. I can name that movie... Oh, hi. Hello. I can name that movie in zero names. I can name that movie in negative one name.

Oh, my goodness. These guys came to play. Scott Aukerman. Sam, I'd love for you to name that movie. All right. I could be wrong you to name that movie. Alright.

I could be wrong. I hope you are. Is it Gina Davis in A League of Their Own? No. It's Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own, bitch! Bullshit. You gotta talk to Len about that one.

Len is gonna hear from me about that. Yeah, Tom Hanks is a supporting character and Gina is the lead. But we go by what Leonard says. That's what it's all about. The biggest star gets it. So Scott gets the point. I feel like I got that for the Kill Bill.

We traded points. It's a tie game. It's only fair. Sam has two, Paul has one. Scott has one. Yep. We're going to be here for a while. He couldn't name Kill Bill volume two. Ah, fuck. You knew it was League of Their Own, right?

Yes, I did. All right. So this time... He knew it was Tom Hanks. This time we start with Paul. We're going to start with Paul. I'm just not asking you as a friend. I'm talking to my friend silently.

We're going to start with Paul and then go to Scott. Why? Hang tight for a second here, Sam. I'm hanging. Alright. Paul, would you like Flash Grodin? Who are you? Or...

Movies to TV shows. Movies to TV shows. Movies to TV shows. Okay. Were you thinking to yourself at first and then decided it was like final answer for the emphasis? Is that what that was?

Yeah, I considered it. Okay. And then I knew I had to communicate that to Doug. So I repeated it, changing the inflection of my voice. I see. It's an old performer's trick. Called talking. So much to learn from you, Paul. So much to learn.

That's right. That's right. One of the first tricks I learned as a performer. Say stuff. Would you like... What was the category? Oh, movies to TV. Would you like a movie that was made in a TV series

from 1970, 1988, or 1989? 1970. Going old school on this shit. Four stars from Leonard. Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm a fan! I'm Good evening. I shall kill you. I'm a mummy. I'm a vampire with a gun.

Why do you have it? We should be friends. I'm a vampire with a gun Why do you have it? We should be friends So Every time Every time Leonard gives a movie four stars That's exactly the song that is sung

I don't know if I'll remember it But I'll try What? It's catchy I'm sure it's in everyone's head You're legally bound Let's try to do it one more time See we already fucked it up It's catchy. I'm sure it's in everyone's head. You're legally bound. Let's try to do it one more time. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

Ah! See, we already fucked it up. All right. Paul, four stars, like I said. I don't remember anything about anything. Oh, movies to TV. Yeah. 1970.

Yeah. Four stars from Lent. We sang a song. Screenplay won an Oscar. I'll say it did. Yeah. And. Yeah. Four stars from Lent. We sang a song. Screenplay won an Oscar. I'll say it did. Yeah. And he also says that new title music

by Ahmad Jamal was in the reissued version in 1973. Of course. Of course. Ahmad Jamal's reissue music. Of course. It's a fantastic clue. It's reissue music. Of course. It's a fantastic clue.

It's all the clue I need, Doug. There's 13 names, Paul. How many can you get it in? 18 names. 1970. Reissue in 1973. Ahmad Rashad. Yes. Felicia Rashad. Yes.

Felicia Rashad composed some new music for it. Honey, I think it should go something like this. Was the Cosby show a movie first? Sweaters won an Oscar. And how many names?

13. I'm going to say I can name the movie in 13 names. Confidence, I like it. Go, Scott. I'm going to go 12. I'm going to go out on a crazy limb here. Oh, shit. I'm going to say I can name it in zero names.

Oh, my goodness. Shall Hubris be his downfall? Much like Icarus, has he flown too close to the sun? I could be totally wrong. I could be totally wrong. Taking a chance. You've got to gamble in this game. Even though Doug doesn't think you have to, you have to.

It's really true, Sam. I agree with you on that note. You know how you're always saying that, Doug, to the point where we're all sick of it? Got to gamble, Paul. What are you going to do? He said you don't have to gamble. You're the advocate against it. 1970.

Reissued in 1973. Sweaters. Any idea? Can you go negative names or do you have to give it up to Sam who might not know the answer? I could be totally wrong. He could be wrong.

I have zero. My confidence level on this is very low. He wasn't alive in 1970, so that's... That's true. That's going to hurt him. This is a tough call because I have absolutely no idea. I have a slim idea. I have a slim idea.

I'm not aware that it was a TV show, but it feels like it probably was. But I really don't want Sam to win. We have to get to five, so this would not give me anything. Yeah, he'll only be at three points. That's not good, though. Andy might be wrong. There's a very good chance I'm wrong, Paul. I was not alive. No, stop talking like that. I'm listening to you.

You're the big poker guy. You're like the bluff. I'm not bluffing. Oh, yeah. Okay, hold on a second. The classic poker, I'm not bluffing. Yeah, we're going the bluff. I'm not bluffing. This guy. This is not a bluff. Okay, hold on a second. Hold on. The classic poker, I'm not bluffing. Yeah. We're going to see.

Yeah. There's a good chance I don't have a good hand. Ha, ha, ha. Royal flush, you piece of shit. Yeah. You don't know what I'm thinking. You look just like Phil Locke, the Unabomber, with your jacket pulled up over your head. What are you going to do, Paul?

Say Sam, name that movie. Again, I could be very wrong on this. Doug is the movie Robert Altman's MASH. I'm going to murder you just for saying Robert Altman's Yes, it's MASH.

Oh! Paul, Paul. We got to do something about this. I know. We got to team up or something. Yes. The people want us to win. We need to have a Marvel team up.

I'll be the thing. Uh-oh. I'll be the Silver Surfer. Hey, Chrome Dome. Creature called the thing You do not understand Is that how you talk? I don't know Oh, Norrin Rad

Oh, Galactus Right? Okay Could I please have another water Sam needs another water And he's got the point, ladies and gentlemen So it's three to one to one Oh my god I'm not a fan of this at all Well, this is, you know He's got water and he's got the point, ladies and gentlemen. So it's three to one to one. Oh, my God.

I'm not a fan of this at all. Well, this is just like Japan versus the USA in Women's World Cup soccer. Japan really needed that win. As do you, Scott. Because of that horrible tsunami that you went through in your apartment when there was a toilet problem. A toilet problem. A toilet problem. Got a bit of a toilet problem on our hands.

I forget who it was, but somebody on Twitter said something about why... Oh, forget it. said something about why... Oh, forget it. I'm just... I'm not afraid of some ghosts. I'm not afraid of a group of ghosts. That's a good one. Everybody tweet your misquoted Ghostbusters

on Twitter. Hashtag a ghost catchers. Ghost catchers. Hashtag ghost catchers. Let's get it to catch on. People are real. I tell you what. People came around to it.

That was the beauty part where people were like, at first I was really mad. Yeah. And then like the eighth one, I thought it was pretty funny. Because you'd retweet a lot of them. Every time he does it,

I retweet him. That is my pledge. Keep them coming, Paul. Oh, Joe. I'm enjoying the shit coming, Paul. Oh, Joe Moe. I'm enjoying the shit out of them. Okay, so what's happening? We got to... Sam just got the point.

Paul challenged him, so we start with Scott. And then it goes to Paul. And then from Scott, we go to Paul. Hi. Everybody can agree. It feels like it always starts with me,

and then I don't benefit from that at all. Yeah, you're not playing strategic. Yeah, yeah. I'm playing strategic. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay,. I'm playing strategically. All right, Paul. Let's team up. Okay, Scott.

Let's work together. Yeah, work together, you guys. Bring him down. Maybe we should discuss this before the show. Wait, what's happening? So Scott's going to go first. Okay. Scott, would you like Almost Famous?

It tickles me every time. Bruce Willis as himself or Beatles song titles? I'll take Bruce Willis as himself. We haven't done any of those yet, right? We just did one of them. Oh, we did one? Yes. What was the answer? It was Ocean's Twelve.

Thank God you guys are here. Would you like Bruce Willis as himself from 92 or 2008? 92. Three stars from Leonard. He calls this movie Sharp. The most perfect movie ever made.

No, he just called it sharp. You know, it's which all the, all the three star movies are sharp. Yeah. And he also says that, uh,

uh, the writer and his lookalike brother appear in the film. Lookalike? Yeah. They're not twins. They look alike. Or maybe they're twins and Leonard doesn't know. Three stars. 1992. And there are

15 names. Scott Aukerman. 15? Mm-hmm. Scott first, then Paul Paul then Sam I can name that a negative one Paul seems like you guys are in a position to get a point here one way or the other

you're a curious one Scott Aukerman how do I read you? What are your thoughts and feelings? What makes you tick? Your good bag and your cheap shoes? By the way, Scott, love your suit. I'm going to say... I'm going to say...

Scott, name that movie. Is it The Player? Tim Robbins? Maybe. What? People are shocked. That's correct. Well done, Alcman.

Well done. If there were commercials, I said the answer after the break, but I couldn't build it up that much. So, yeah, you did it. Tim Robbins, the star of the player. Bruce Willis played himself in that. So nicely done, Scott Aukerman. He's in the hunt. Two points for Scott,

one for Paul, three for Sam the ma'am. Did you say Sam the ma'am? Uh-huh. That's his name now. Sam the ma'am. Did you say SamTheMa'am? Uh-huh. That's his name now. That's my nickname, SamTheMa'am. SamTheMa'am, Lil' Wolverine. If I give nicknames, I give two at a time.

I don't just give one fucking nickname. May I have two? That's fair. That's lazy. May I? Thank you, sir. May I have two? Okay.

Scott Pocketman. Great. And Scott Rocketman. Can we call him Scott Pocketman. Great. And Scott Rocketman. Can we call him Scott Pockets? How about that? I like it. Divided the crowd.

Divided the room. Yeah. Divided the crowd. Divided the room. The room is, it's an unusual room tonight. We got some Hot Pocket fans and some Lean Pocket fans

and never the twain shall meet. We need to get the audience energy up. I'll tell you what, everyone stand up and shake it out. Everyone stand up and let's just see you do the hokey pokey.

You know what, guys? Do the hokey pokey. Here we go, the hokey pokey. Everyone stand up and organize the hokey pokey amongst yourselves. Murder, murder, murder, murder. Why have I been born a werewolf?

It's impossible. No, vampire. I'm a werewolf this time. Why did you kill me? People are going to listen to this. That always... Well, maybe not up to this point. I'm sick of this shit. That doesn't happen very often.

People listen to the podcast, they're committed. They're like, well, maybe it'll stop being this horrible song. I have turned off many a podcast with this exact thought expressed out loud. I don't have to listen to this. This is a freak country. When it dawns on you that you are in control of yourself, like, hold on a second. I don't have to do homework listening to this podcast. But Paul, I like the Pod F Tompkast.

What? All right, what just happened? Scott got the point. I got one, yes. And who made him name it? Paul did. So Sam starts, and then we go to Paul. Hi, I'm Paul.

That's right. Sam, I like it when we work together. Me too, Doug. To make it work right. I will back your play Sam would you like Boat Cucumber Wire Flash Flash Grodin

Or Captain America Now what is the Captain America category again? Movies that have Captain or America And Boat Cucumber Wire Is the same idea Yes, Captain or America Right?

Yes, Boat Cucumber Wire is movies with Captain or America I will take Boat Cucumber Wire Alright Movies with Captain or America. I will take Boat Cucumber Wire. All right. It's a smart choice on your part because you know all the cucumber movies. I know 11 movies. Would you like... 12. Would you like...

And this category, of course, was submitted by at the underscore Jew. Sticking with my people. Yes. Sticking with my people. 1951, 1990, or 2003? 1951. Those are your options. Indeed they are.

Indeed they are. I will say 2003. Okay. Leonard Mullen calls this movie a bomb. Leonard. He calls it perfect. Not enchanting. Delightful.

What did he call the movie perfect? Oh, I don't know. We should look that up later. Yeah. That'll be fun. No, he calls the movie perfect? Oh, I don't know. We should look that up later. Yeah. It'll be fun. No, he calls this movie appallingly bad. And he says Will Ferrell appears unbilled. Wow. Yeah. I love those unbilled clues. And there are

11 names. How many names do you think you get it in? Sam F. Levine. How many names do you think you get it in? Sam F. Levine 2003 2003 11 names

I will say 11 names Okay, good start Which way does it go? I'll say 10 Okay I'm a gentleman Which way does it go? I'll say ten. Okay. I'm a gentleman. Oh, is Scott about to tie it up?

I will say I can name that movie in a negative two names. Oh, my goodness. I thought you were just going to throw it to Scott And say name it But you went negative two That's how confident you are So it comes back around to Sam What can you do with that? I had an inkling but I will have to say Paul name that movie

I'd be glad to Sam What's the name of the film? The name of the film is Boat Trip And who are the names? Cuba Gooding Jr. And Mr. Horatio Sam That's correct. Second guess myself.

Second guess myself. Oh, shit. This is exciting. I almost said cucumber trip. Blew it. Blew it. I can't believe... Okay.

I was going to try to make some sort of boat wire joke, but it's not worth it. I'm sorry, John. Why are you apologizing? You're still in the lead. You have three. Scott has two. Paul has two. Paul got it correct. Who made him name it?

You made him name it. You made him name it. So we start with Scott. Then we come around this way. Here we go. I like it. Let's see. Have any of these categories not been picked yet? Captain America hasn't been picked yet.

Flash Grodin. And Almost Famous. I'm going to go with Flash Grodin and Almost Famous. I'm going to go with Flash Grodin for the win. Okay, Flash Grodin. For the what? For the win. For the surprise way-too-early win.

Yeah, if I get this, I win. Yeah, okay. Because I called it. I like that, yeah. Would you like a Flash Grodin movie from 1968, 1981, or 1994? I'm all good with 94. 94.

One and a half stars from Leonard. Kind of unfair, I think. Yeah. He calls this movie moronic. And he also says it should have stayed on the shelf. And there are... I know, that's harsh. There are nine names for this 1994 movie.

Just because I don't quite know the billing. Fuck. You know what? I'm going to go negative two. Negative two? Son of a bitch. We come around to Paul. Negative three.

What? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, was Sam next? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, it has to come next. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Apologies. Right?

We're all in agreement on this? Yeah. Sam, you want to go negative three? I don't know why you'd want this position. Well, I know the movie. I've got to try to figure out the billing. Okay. Oh, boy.

Do you want us to leave the room? Someone put on a pot of coffee I'm just gonna masturbate If it's alright with everybody I'll You said negative two I did Negative three Negative four

Whoa Negative three Whoa Negative four Whoa I can't believe this shit Okay I know the three And I've just seen this movie Who the fuck is the fourth Let alone the fifth I don't even know the fifth I gotta say the name of the movie

Alright Alright Paul F. Tompkins You said the movie is Clifford. That's correct. From the top down. This is where it gets dicey. Right.

Who's the top billed person? I'm gonna say the top billed person is Charles Grodin. Oh! Oh! Martin Short. Yes, I know the other person is Martin Short.

Dabney Coleman. Yes, Sam. We all knew the fucking movie it was. Paul didn't fucking... Aukerman didn't know. Oh, shit. Oh, he didn't know!

There it goes. There it goes. Sam's beer is being spilled. Why would you spill my beer? It's been spilled again. You're being a dick! You're being a dick! You're being a dick. For another homie.

Yeah. Yeah. You blocked your glasses. This is why people don't like you. That's not why they don't like me because I'm Jewish. Oh, Sam. You can't drag an entire race of people down with you. Aukerman left the stage.

Scott just left. Scott just walked out. Oh, my God. He's running upstairs. He's fled. He's outraged. Is he doing a lap? Is he doing a lap around me? No, I think he has to go to the bathroom. Oh, he's going to the bathroom. Scott just left. Scott just walked out. Oh my god, he's running upstairs. He's fled. He's outraged. Is he doing a lap? Is he doing a lap around me? No, I think he has to go to the bathroom. Oh, he's going to the bathroom, sure.

He has to go to the bathroom. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my outburst. Let's stall while we're waiting for Scott. I did not expect you to say negative four. I did not expect you to say negative four. I was very impressed. So, you were impressed or... I don't understand you. Yeah, I don't know what's going on.

I don't know what you're apologizing for. I apologize for my... For like pointing at my face and yelling, yeah, yeah? No, I didn't do that until you instigated me. How did I instigate you? You screamed at me and said, this is why people don't like me. No. Which is a terrible thing to say.

That's not true. It's a terrible thing. That thing happened after you pointed at my face and yelled, yeah, yeah. Audience. They don't want to side. I don't think they care one way or the other, really. They don't want to side. No, they don't want to side, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The audience likes to remain neutral. Oh, boy, I should have eaten some food. Boy, I should have eaten some food. Oh, he brought some sort of... Still some beer left in there. I think I'm done with it, Paul. What's that? I think I'm done with that full glass of beer.

You have cost the John Lovitz Club $35 in beer tonight. Scott, welcome back. Scott Ackerman, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. Beer is $17.50 here. I benefited from that, right? I got the point You did

I didn't win I did for the win you're right I called it It was a great try on Paul's part It was a valiant effort Yeah yeah yeah I just saw that movie I forgot about Dabney Coleman

I mean Martin Short does play Clifford after all. He does. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, it was a tricky, you know how sometimes it's a, well, we just saw the League of Our Own thing. Yeah, you're right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, you took a chance with that. It was not a League of Tom Hanks, though. I appreciate it.

And now you're in third place. I know. It's time to get serious. So what are the scores again, Doug? It's three for Sam, three for Scott, and two for Paul. That's true. And Paul was made to name that by Scott. So we'll start with Sam and then go to Scott.

Yes. Okay. And your category choices are... Word up. Shot in Columbus, or 310 to Uma. Wow, these are awful. What was Word Up again? Cameos. Cameos.

Yeah, yeah. All right, I will go with Word Up. All right. Just will go with Word Up. All right. Just twist your arm. Would you like a Word Up cameo movie from 1979 or 1985? Probably 85. Sorry, Paul? I thought out of the corner of my ear

What's that? I thought I heard you suggest that I go with 85 I don't think that's allowed I'm sure I didn't do that Yeah, you shouldn't suggest I'm not even thinking out loud Into the corner of someone's ear Yeah

Stay out of everyone's ear corners Thank you of someone's ear. Yeah. Stay out of everyone's ear corners. Thank you. I will go with 1979, which you may have actually wanted me to pick and you were using a double bluff on me. Yeah. A little reverse psychology bluff. I have a new nickname for you

and it's Overthinker. Nah. People love Little Wolverine. I have a new nickname for you, and it's Overthinker. People love Little Wolverine. We're going to stick with that. Guys, I'm sorry. I am not myself tonight. Three stars. Sam the Man from 1979.

Leonard calls this enjoyable. Okay. And then he also says that it has unnecessary movie star cameos. Oh. Helpful. I only prefer movie star cameos when they are totally necessary. As does Leonard. Doesn't have unnecessary scientist cameos. That's right.

And there are seven names. Even though it's chock full of cameos. And there are seven names. Even though it's chock full of cameos, it only lists seven names. And that's from 79. Where would you like to start the bidding, Sam? I will start with seven names. And where do you decide it was going?

Sam, I can name that movie in six names. Paul? Scott, I can name that movie in six names. Paul. Scott, I'll go one better. I can name that movie in five names. Darn the luck. I felt you push me into that predicament. Sammy.

Sammy the Mammy. Mammy. Mammy. Sammy. Alright, Paul. Name that movie. Whoa! Interesting play! What? Ghosts?

Cold? Ghost catchers? How many names do you get? He gets five out of seven. Five out of seven. Holy shit. Give me the clues again, please. I don't think you're going to need the clues again, but okay.

Three stars, 79, enjoyable, and cameos? Unnecessary. Unnecessary. And your five out of seven names are Austin Pendleton, Charles Durning, Dave Goels, G-O-E-L-Z, Richard Hunt, and Jerry Nelson.

I'm going to say that that movie is The Muppet Movie. That's correct. That is correct. Last two names are Frank Oz and Jim Henson. And holy shit, we have a three-way tie, you guys. Boy.

Were those cameos unnecessary? It was kind of fun. I love the cameos. That's a good movie. Come on, Leonard. He misses it sometimes. Really took the focus off the Muppets. I thought they could have explored darker themes

that these celebrity cameos have been popping up all the time. I like Steve Martin as the waiter. Would you like to smell the cap? Yes. That was a good part. Anyway. Twiggy. Twiggy, of course. Such a great cameo artist. She did great cameos in that

and Blues Brothers. The last gasp of Twiggy's fame. Yeah. All right. So Paul got the point. Sam told him to name it, right? So we'll start with Scott, and then we'll go to Paul. That seems fair.

I'm starting to get this down. I'm going to be good at this someday. Wait, no. What? Me to him. Okay. You are not getting that. Oh, it. Scott, are you following this? Yeah, I understand.

Sort of. I feel like everybody's cheating. It's complicated enough that you could. It's not reassuring at all. Because I just forced Paul to... Yeah, it goes... Oh, give us a shit. Let's just go.

Yeah, let's do it. So we'll start with Scott, and then we'll go to Sam. Give me a good new category. Yeah. We don't have any more new categories. Come on. I loaded in like fucking 12 categories. I think we're enough.

Call in Audible. Call Audible. Captain America. We haven't played yet, right? I'll go with Captain America. Oh, okay. All right. I love that.

There we go. It's called Moving Right Along. Yeah. Just like the Muppets. Moving right along. Yeah. That's unnecessary. That was nothing like that.

That was Fozzie spot on. That was Fozzie. 1992, 2001, or 2003? Captain or America? 92. Ooh. Leonard Mullen calls this movie a bomb. Unfair, I say. I'd give it one and a half.

Or more. I haven't seen it in a while. He says that this movie has... features Paul Anka as a boat salesman. So that helps narrow it down, I would imagine. And also he says that it is...

Everything else gives it away. That's all right. Oh, you don't need any more? Yeah, I'm fine. All right. I can name that't need any more? Yeah, I'm fine. All right. I can name that negative two names. Holy shit. I'm telling you, they came to play tonight.

Does it go to him now? It does. Because he sighed. It does go to Sam. All right. He sighed like, I don't know what to do with this. What do you do when you get a thing like this? Yeah, what do you do with it?

Hey, not for nothing. Hey, why are get a thing like this? Yeah, what do you do with it? Hey, not for nothing. Hey, why are we forgetting all about this? Why don't I put it upstairs? Hey, quit remembering this. I was so hoping you would say negative one. Wouldn't that have been nice? It would have been nice. He was ready to go negative two.

But Scott beat you to it. Scott Aukerman named that movie. Oh, my God. He might have the wrong movie. Is it? He might have the wrong movie. Captain Ron. Let me ask you this.

Who are the two names? Kurt Russell, Martin Short. It's Captain Ron. And the names are... Kurt Russell, Martin Short. Oh! Oh! Thank you, Kevin Smith, for giving me the strength.

Who? Scott Aukerman pulls into the lead with four points. Who was the white? Was it Mary Kay Place? Judy Dench? Who was the white? Was it Mary Kay Place? Judy Dench? The 1988 Chicago Bulls? Madame Curie?

It was Mary Kay Place. You're never going to be able to see her in anything again without just having angry sex with the television. She was great in something. No, what was that movie called? All right. Being John Malkovich Okay so Wow just under the wire Now it starts with Paul

Okay if you say so Does everybody agree with that Okay good I want to all be on the same page I don't like getting messages later You did that wrong That's what all messages sound like to me When somebody writes to me on. You did that wrong. That's what all messages sound like to me. When somebody writes

to me on Twitter. You did that wrong. I always think the voice on Twitter is... Hey! That was stupid. I think you meant... People do punch up on jokes. Yeah, punch up is the worst on Twitter. I was all set the first time.

Yeah, I'm ready to walk away. I don't need to workshop this tweet. Yeah, you know what? Let's start tossing ideas back and forth. Yeah, let's spitball this tweet. This fucking tweet's really worth fixing. Let's get it perfect. All right, so where does it start?

It starts with Paul. Paul, and then comes Sam. All right, Paul, what would you like? Finally, an argument is about to break out over this bill. So where does it start? Paul and then comes Sam. Alright, Paul. The argument is about to break out over this bill. These guys are losing their minds. You better fucking pay for this shit, dude. Who's gonna pay for this shit? I ain't paying for shit.

I only had like a water and a Sprite. You guys have been drinking Mai Tais. You guys all having mixed drinks. Hey, let's not forget that we are friends. Never forget that. Sure. Look, I'm not saying you're not my friend. I'm just saying you are a booze drinker and I'm dry.

I'm dry this month. I'm not going to pay 16 bucks. I thought I kind of put a button on it, but we're still going. That's a dick move, Paul. Come on. That was... Come on.

That's... That's why you don't like me, Paul. No, I will tell you this. I do have... I have embarrassment over my display of genuine anger during this game you really pushed my button Sam

in front of God and everybody well you always wear such nice clothes and they always have buttons so there are just so many to push alright I'm no longer on board seriously

how could he not push your nice buttons? You have too many nice buttons. Hey, quit pushing my, push my nice buttons. Get your fucking

hands off my nice buttons. When you wear the double-breasted suits, I, there's, my options are Still on the button riff. You gotta be kidding me.

Ah. Wow. Ah. People love long podcasts, so this is... I think they do. This could be enjoyable. No, they're getting it all for one. Are you going to edit and work this out?

We're getting all of this for $1.99. All right. So what... What did you decide we're doing, Sam? Starting with Paul and then going to Sam. What did you decide? Would you like Shot in Columbus? We haven't done that one yet.

Have we? Wait, what is happening? You were picking a category, then it's going to come to me. Would you like Beatles song titles? Sam has every round seems to start. What? Beatles song titles, Shot in Columbus. Shot in Columbus, Beatles song titles, or Captain America.

Thank you. Captain America. Thank you. Captain America. Bam. Would you like a Captain or America movie from 2001 or 2003? The most patriotic thing would be to pick 2001, obviously. That's pretty patriotic. But I'm going to say 2003.

To be not patriotic. Well, I'm not wearing my flag lapel pin. Obviously I hate my country. Three and a half stars from Leonard Maltin. This 2003 movie. The greatest film ever made. He calls it poignant. And he calls the cast remarkable.

Remarkable. Three and a half stars. And there are six names for this movie that has Captain or America in the title from 2003. How many names do you think get it in? Scott. I mean Paul. Remarkable cast. How many names? Sorry.

I mean Paul F. Ackerman. How many names? Six. I mean Paul F. Ackerman. How many names? Six. I'll say six names. Okay. I'll say five. Sam says five. I'll say four.

Scott, who's in the lead, says four. I'll say three names. One of the Tompkins named that movie. All right. Wow, you get three names. I accept your challenge.kins named that movie. All right. Wow, you get three names. I accept your challenge. Three and a half stars from 2003.

It's poignant. Fuck. The cast is remarkable. Wish I knew what that word meant. Everybody thinks I'm smart but secretly I'm dumb. Your three names will... Wait, can people hear me if I talk into this microphone?

Your three names are going to be no help whatsoever. Oh, good. They are Juan Hernandez, the great, Emma Bulger, remarkable, and, oh, this might be a clue, Sarah Bulger. And, oh, this might be a clue, Sarah Bolger. Both Bolgers? That might be helpful.

It's a two-Bolger production. It's very rare that they work together. It's bulging with Bolgers. You know, they hated each other in life. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, yes. If you know so much, you should know the movie, then. Of course.

It is. 2003, Captain America in the title, remarkable cast, and poignant. American Me. Oh. I didn't even think of that one. Well, then I guess I have my answer. Yeah, no. The rest of the names are J'mon Hunson.

Hunsu. In America. J'mon. Yeah, in America. Yeah, yeah. That's a good movie. Patty Considine and Samantha Morton. It's a good movie.

In America. It's a good movie. I like that movie a lot. I love that movie. Jim Sheridan, yeah. Who made you name that? Yeah. Sam gets four points.

Scott has four. Sam has four. Paul has three. This is exactly what I was hoping for. The maximum number of rounds to get to five points. Wait, we're one away from the maximum. If you get the next point, this is going to be

fucking exciting. It's going to be so amazing. Who are you guys playing for? Let's remind everybody again. I'm playing for John. Who gives a shit. Who brought the little Wolverine. I'm playing for Daniel.

Let's get away with the thing around. Paul is playing for Daniel. He's got this doll. Sam is playing for somebody that brought a doll with him. He's got a piece of paper. Good idea. Scott is playing for... In a three-hour show, let's reset. Scott is playing for somebody that brought a doll with him. Scott's got a piece of paper. Good idea. Scott is playing for... In a three-hour show, let's reset.

Scott is playing for Stefan. For people who have not gone anywhere. Okay, you're right. Let's recap from the very beginning. First, what happened was... Let's get Jordan back up here. Get Jordan back up here. Is Jordan still here?

He's still here. Let's see if Chris can do Simon Pegg. He is still the director of I Am Comic. Okay. Where are we at, Sam? Next it starts with Scott and then goes to me. Okay. You got the point. I got the point by saying name that movie Tupou.

So Scott, you were out of it and it was going that way? This game needs a person whose job it is just to do that as opposed to the players themselves. You know what I mean? Maybe a guy in a little band shell. Like one of those little shells at the foot of the stage. Little conductor guy. Yeah.

Where he can have a wand and point. It goes to Sam. It's his turn. Expecto Patronum. Why did we both assume he was British? I thought he was going to be Italian. I just followed you. It goes to Sam.

Hey, Sam Levine. Okay. That's what, when I go to Little Italy in New York, they're so excited to see me. All the banter makes me forget

what's happening. Starting with Scott, then going to Sam. What about in regular sized Italy? I'm not big there. There we go. I'm only big in Little Italy.

Would you like Who Are You? Because I'm not tall. That's amnesia movies. Shot in Columbus. That's shotnesia movies. Shot in Columbus. That's Shot in Columbus movies. Movie Shot in Columbus. Or Almost Famous.

We still haven't played Almost Famous. I don't think. What was that category again? Almost Famous? Edward James Olmos. God damn it! Every time! Every time! Every time! Oh my God! It was new to me

every single time! What's that category again? I drink out of so many aluminum cans. Oh, Jesus. I'll go shot in Columbus. Really? Wow! oh jesus i'll go shot in columbus really wow making it really tough here at the end so genuine all right let me just say first of all there's no way for any of you to know that any of these movies were shot in columbus so this is throw that out as a clue. Would you like a movie, a film that exists

from 1989, 1991? Oh, those are your options. I accidentally loaded in a third one from 91. Would you like 89, 91, or 91? 91. I'll pick one. That, or 91? 91. Okay.

I'll pick one. That was a big year for Edward James almost. Three and a half stars from Leonard. And that's not the category. The category is shot at Columbus. But nice work trying to

confuse the other players. At least I remembered that that category existed. Oh, Paul. Shot in Columbus, partially or completely. Almost Columbus. Or maybe even just for a second. Yeah, almost Columbus. Wait, is it 1492?

Movies that were almost starring Edward James Olmos, but then he turns out to not be in them at all, that were filmed partially or completely in Columbus, Ohio. All right, shot at Columbus. Peter Fox House. These are movies that were shot at Peter Fox House while he was telling bedtime stories to Fred Savage. The actor, not the character.

People are like, oh, yeah, I know Fred Savage died, but it's not a big deal. He led a great life. That got Paul. Peter Falk died? I don't know what's going on. I thought it was Savage that died. The headline just said Princess Bride Star dies.

I didn't know. Randy Macho Man Savage died. Fred Savage is fine. Relax. You got the room. Oh, he's not just fine. He is fine. All of the savages are fine.

Ben is fine. There's got to be another one in there. Savage Steve Holland is fine. Three and a half stars. 1991. Your clues are that this movie was a movie and that it was based on a bestseller and it was followed ten years later by a sequel of sorts.

And there are twelve names from this movie from 1991. Three and a half stars from Leonard. How many? What do you think? Did Ahmad Grimaldo do some music for it?

That's not the same name, but I get it. No, it's a new guy. Is it The Sweater? I'll go ten names. Okay. I can name that movie in zero name. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Wow. For the game, someone in the audience pointed out. For the game, Paul. Give me the clues again. Okay. Three and a half stars.

It's from 1991. Three and a half stars, 1991. Ten years later, there was a sequel of sorts. Ten years later, a sequel of sorts. Boy, that sounds familiar. God damn it. Forgive my salty language. Ten years later, there's a sequel

of sorts. If I were the kind of person that would cheat and suggest a strategy here, I'd say you should go negative two. Dude, dude, dude, dude. That is not cool. If you do that, you're dude Dude That is not cool If you do that you're giving Aquaman the win What?

Oh no I didn't mean that Yeah because I would say name that movie Yeah No I'm fucked unless I know what this movie is No no you're fucked but He's saying you would take the victory Right right Play sincerely Right but he's saying you would take... I'm just joking around. I'm just joking around. Right, right. Play sincerely.

Right! What did you say? How many names did you say? I said zero. Zero names. Keeping in mind, if I'm wrong, you get a point, the game continues. But also keeping in mind...

The flip side of that argument is, if you say negative ten names, and I say name that movie, and you're wrong, I win the entire game. That's right. So, there's no way I can win at this point. Oh, no. Well, there's one way you can win, by figuring out the answer. Yeah, well, I can't. No, but to be fair, Paul, you could say name that movie, and if Sam does not know it...

If I do not know, you get the point. You will get the point. We'll have a three-way tie. Yeah, so now it comes down to who do I want to win more? I could be wrong. I'm not certain. Then why would you say zero names?

Because I didn't want to bid in. You have an idea, though. I have an idea, and I figured with zero names. I don't have an idea, and I don't think Scott has any idea. With zero names, if you force me to name it and I can't, the game continues. This is just like poker. No, no, no. I understand what you're saying.

But see, then I have to gamble. This is where the gambling comes in. So you're rather that I gamble in your favor. No, no, no. We should play like you want to win the game. I'm not making this clear enough. If you go further than me, Scott will win the game.

Yes, I know that. If I'm wrong, the game goes on. What the fuck? There is a ghost in this place. Somebody just There is a ghost in this place. Wow. Somebody just stepped on a ghost. Why you gotta...

But you have four points as well. I do. So if you're right, then you win. That is correct. So I was right that I decide who I want to win more. No, no, no. Do I want to gamble on you being wrong or you being right? No, Paul, if he's wrong, the game continues because you get the point and it's for all.

Oh, that's true. If he's wrong. But I think you have an idea of what this movie is. I have an idea. I don't think anyone on stage knows there's an audience still. Hey, guys. I'm sorry you invited us to play this game. That's a good point. I did sorry you invited us to play this game That's a good point I did invite you

It's not like we bum rushed the John Lovitz comedy club Said hey we got a movie game we want to play Round up a bunch of people And lock the doors They were just sitting here and we're suddenly playing this game In front of them Sam name that fucking movie What is the category again

Who cares Movies shot in columbus movie sam levine has an idea of wait wait wait shot in columbus what were the clues hang on i want to i want to stretch out i don't think sam needs to hear the clues again but i'll give him again i want to hear him because i can't remember uh it was based on a bestseller bestseller and then 10 years later there was a... Wait, what's that? Ten years later, there was a... All right, this podcast has gone on long enough. Sequels.

Silence of the Lambs. That's correct. See, you should have let me do what I was going to do. Talk me out of it. Now, the thing that nobody wanted to happen, happened. I know. I didn't want to win. You're my boy, John. The thing nobody wanted to happen happened I didn't want to win the thing nobody wanted to happen

I didn't want to win under those circumstances Sam Levine ladies and gentlemen thank you very much who did you win for where's the guy you won for but I think we've come around and I would like a hug from my friend Paul F. Tompkins aww

thank you I apologize around and I would like a hug from my friend Paul F. Tompkins. Thank you. I apologize. Scott Aukerman knocks my hand away in disgust and storms off the stage. Poor showmanship, sir. Scott is out of here. We're going to hang out for a while.

Am I supposed to take this trophy? Holy shit. Oh, the trophy. They brought a trophy in case somebody won tonight. And it says Charlie. Wait, this was your name tag. Oh, 2011 Doug Loves Movies Tournament of Championships champion. Wow, it's right there. I've never seen a trophy where the title was printed out on a piece of paper and then taped to it.

Shoot a little b-ball. That's nice. Thank you, Paul F. Tompkins. Let's hear it for him, everybody. You know, they left. Their loser guys get to do the shitheads thing, right? The people they were playing for, yes. So who were they playing for?

Here, let's go ahead and write Go ahead and write on the space provided right there Who you'd like me to call the shithead Congratulations, Sam Levine Thank you, Doug Benson Does he get to keep the little Wolverine? Yeah, you get to keep it Every show from now on

Thank you, John And Charlie, can I keep the Oh, this is the best day of my life, guys. This tops Freaks and Geeks and Inglourious Bastards combined. Thank you. There will be a third tournament of championships in which Scott Aukerman is already qualified, and I believe Paul qualified tonight,

because he got something in... I certainly qualified. Well, you were already in it. It's going to be a little rematch. Yeah, yeah. So someday there will be three ultimate winners that we'll all compete in the Super Tournament of Championships.

That's very exciting. You want to hand that back to me? And then who's the other person that we were playing for up here? Who had this thing over here that Scott had? Oh, it was over here? Oh, you got it? Oh, good.

Both of them wrote their names on there. I don't know what that second name is, but I'll try to say it right. But one more round of applause for everybody you saw here tonight for coming down. Jordan Brady, Chris Cox is fake Edgar Wright, Sam the Man Levine, Paul F. Tompkins, Scott Aukerman. Very, very exciting close match tonight.

And as always, Rosa Parks is a shithead. How dare you? Rosa Parks is a shithead How dare you And this is the one I don't know what it means But I'll say it and hopefully it's not Some baby that died recently Coots Coots is a shithead

Is that a nickname For your buddy Alright That guy's friend Coots is a shithead Right around this point Is when the end theme comes on That guy's friend Coots is a shithead. Right around this point is when the end theme comes off. There it is. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.

There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.