Doug Loves Movies - "Weird Al" Yankovic and Chris Hardwick Guest

Episode Date: December 3, 2009

Doug welcomes song parody legend "Weird Al" Yankovic and comedian/TV host Chris Hardwick to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody Hello I Love Movies time is here Hey, everybody. Hello. Hello. I Love Movies time is here. Let's all rejoice at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles.

It's free to get into I Love Movies podcast tapings, and if you've got reservations for a comedy death ray that follows here at UCB in Los Angeles, you can snag an awesome seat. So, you know, that's just a little tip, you comedy nerds. And yet still, I want people to sit in this row right here because they're the ones that will be close to me for participation in a little giveaway later, and nobody sits over there until I said that.

Now it's like probably the same two dudes from last week. I also want to mention that you should follow me on Twitter because then you can read tweets like this. Tiger Woods was in a car accident. In related news, golf is still boring. And my New Year's resolution is to

relax and enjoy the couple of years we have left before the end of civilization. 2012 joke alert. Oh, there's another person who wants to play a game. Now there's too many of you. I'm going to do like the Joker in Dark Knight and snap a pool cue in half and whoever lives can play the trivia. Are you guys ready for me to bring out

our guests for this evening? Oh my god. These two are giants on Twitter and they also were the co-stars of Halloween Part 2, the Rob Zombie version. Please welcome at Nerdist and at

Al Yankovic, Chris Hardwick and Weird Al Yankovic, Chris Hardwick and Weird Al Yankovic are here. Hello, Doug Benson. Hello, Chris and Al. First of all, both of you are big Twitterers. We are. We're large. It's fun, right?

That's right. Large and in charge. Oh, man. No one gets irony on Twitter. Do we have this conversation where, like, no matter how sarcastic or ironic you think you're being, someone will try to fucking poke a hole in it. I think I posted the laws of Twitter. There's nothing you can say that's so ironic and stupid that somebody won't think you're

100% serious. Today, I want to start using, I think you should start using baby wipes in the bathroom because they use less paper, and less paper is better for the environment of your asshole. And all these people drop back and they're like, actually, baby wipes don't degrade. I'm like, what part of your asshole made you think that I was really making a claim about baby wipes and how they degrade? Yeah, I posted a picture of BJ Furniture Mart and the caption was,

for some reason they don't take any credit cards or cash. What's the deal here? And a lot of people were like, well, they don't take any credit cards or cash. What's the deal here? And a lot of people were like, well, they probably take checks. As long as you have two pieces of ID, then a check is probably fine. Oh, I wasn't aware that you could write a check for furniture. God, what am I thinking? Oh, Twitter.

Dang. Yeah, so that is thinking? Oh, Twitter. Dang. Yeah, so that is a weird aspect of it. But I guess some people just don't read the replies. They just blow that off, and then they can just say their little thoughts and not be concerned with it. But I have to read them. I'm obsessed with reading them. Most of the stuff on Twitter, I realize that sending out tweets is not necessarily the best to get people out to shows because the tweet stream moves so fast that it's basically like writing something on the side of a car and then sending it around the city.

What was that? Exactly. I have a premonition that maybe it goes through Chris Harwick and Sons, but I'm not quite sure. If I happen to be facing the right direction on this corner when the car zips by, I'll see it. And if not, then it just gets lost forever. That's what I get at most of my shows is that person that's like, I just found out on Twitter a few hours ago that you were in town. They'd missed whatever promotions the club does because those move by even faster than Twitter. I'm on stage right now.

Come now. Yeah, I'm going to try that. Let's all tweet it right now Let's see which of the three of us can get a person to walk in here That's not already in this room Do you think somebody could get it to happen? No I honestly Somebody has to walk in

And we watch the door everybody Don't cheat or walk from the back We have to walk in and announce who they're here to I'll tell you what If you guys are willing to commit If you guys are willing to commit to this, the first person... Let's each give $20. You want to have to say you'll get $60 for coming in?

You can't just rely on, Oh, Ed Nerdist wants me to stop by the UCB on Franklin. What's the address? I think that was longer than 140 characters, Chuck. What's the address? I think that was longer than 140 characters, Doug. What's the address? Okay, I gotta find that. I gotta figure out the fastest way to do this,

because this is boring to listen to in a podcast. My iPhone's frozen up. You did it really? Yeah. You're gonna lose then. Test. All right. See if you can come help me at NCB. This is great.

For me at... I'm on stage. I'm going to make on stage one work I think it's true Are you serious At Doug Benson New tweet posted Oh they're lining up Look at this

What time does the show end The show's not even long enough For anybody to We couldn't even get a pizza from Domino's Before the show's over Before 8pm't even get a pizza from Domino's before this show's over. Before 8 p.m. That's what I'm going to do. I'm just going to text Domino's. I'm just going to play with my apps for a while.

Okay, I'm going to say, get in here and yell my name. This is fascinating. The rest of everyone else in the Twitch stream is going to be like, what is this about? All right. Okay. Hang on. Okay.

I'm still going to give someone $20 if they can do it. Oh, you're offering $20? I'm offering it. Oh, wait. How do we know someone's not just going to run around and go, Doug Benson, where's my $20? What I'm saying is the audience is on the honor system. I think they all are excited about this game,

and they're not going to try to blow it. Everyone's going to watch very carefully and make sure it's somebody that comes in off his feet. Let's just sit here quietly away for a while. It could be somebody who's on their way here to go to death ray. It's just going to be interesting to see which one of us catches that particular fly. Sorry, Ben Doug. 20 bucks. I think you might win, Chris win chris all right okay i've sent it out i've

sent it out i'm totally gonna get that i've been tweeting a lot today people like you tweet too much i'm like well you fucking read it too much like don't fucking get mad at me i got a lot of shit to say yeah about shows where i want people to run in and yell your name so i can give you 20 but that's good, though. It's fun to follow you because it's like you always have gadget updates and where you're playing. If somebody is trying to track you down, they can stalk you very easily. Is anyone here following me on Twitter?

Me? Hey, yay. I got like eight people here. But maybe the better question would have been, is anybody on Twitter? Because I think a lot of people are not. Are you guys on Twitter or are you mad at it? A lot of people are like, fuck that.

Well, I'm aware that the people who are following me are on Twitter. I think those people are more visual and we're more verbal. I think that's the difference between a Twitterer and a non-Twitterer. Because if you like to see pictures, Twitter is lame. Right. You know, unless you click on... I can't click on, like, when Steve Agee posts a picture.

I can't click on it because I don't want to see the man's balls. Oh my God. Do you remember that? Does he still post that thing? I've never looked at it, whatever it was. He had this thing on a .mac webpage for his mac.com page for a while,

where you'd click on this weird link, and you'd just see this kind of wrinkly thing. It was just Steve going, my fucking balls. Oh, no. And it was just his balls, and you were mesmerized for like two minutes, and you're like, my sweaty balls.

And the screen would change colors, and it was clearly his balls I'm telling you he's known for his ball movies that he makes he's like the Warhol of ball movies he made one where it was his ball sleeping and it was

seven hours of his balls I think he should release them as an Olsen twins film alright speaking of film First of all you guys are both in Halloween Deuce Technically Halloween Deuce Deuce

Reduce Reduce Yeah and So I didn't see it. You're the one. Yeah, I sat that one out. But what are you guys doing? Do you get murdered?

Oh, if only. Yeah, no. I got murdered really hard in House of 1000 Quirks. You were so dead. I was so fucking dead. Like literally five hours of makeup and appliances that peel back. And that was fun. But in this movie, I host a fucking dead. Like literally five hours of makeup and appliances that peel back and that was fun.

But in this movie, I host a talk show. And it's still five hours of makeup, which I couldn't understand. Still five hours of talk show makeup. That was amazing. Yeah, it was really... Rob really goes all out.

You had to spend a lot of time in the fake glasses store. Yep. For the role. Yep, that's right. Well, these look like I would wear these on a show. Those are real.

Those are real. So, and you were on the talk show? I got to play Weird Al Yankovic. I had to dig deep. Oh, it was a yourself thing. Pull back the layers, you know. Oh, it was another as yourself. Yes, yes. Was your first as yourself police squad?

Was that the first one? Are you thinking of... Naked Gun? Naked Gun, yeah, yeah. It was a Naked Gun movie. The... Naked Gun? Naked Gun, yeah. It was a Naked Gun movie. The first Naked Gun movie. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I think that was.

Where you were the entire punchline. It was words, Weird Al Yankovic, and you just stepping out of a plane. Weird Al Yankovic's on the plane. Hey, everybody. Oddly enough, I was in the entire Naked Gun trilogy. I was in one, two, and three. One and three, playing myself.

And number two, not playing myself And number 2 Not playing myself Did you play OJ Simpson in 2? You know Actually I played a guy That OJ Simpson held at gunpoint Ironically enough Oh my god I'm the guy saying

Okay you pigs Say your prayers And Leslie Nielsen Walks through the door And knocks me out Good work Frank Oh okay Is the first one

The one where Nordbert The character played played by O.J. Simpson, is that the one where the opening is him just bumping around on a boat like he keeps hurting himself more until he finally falls outside? Yes, yes, yes. He ends up in the hospital. He ends up in the hospital through the whole movie. Does the double flip at the end. Yep, yep.

I kept thinking of that sequence when they were reading all the verdicts and the last time he was, you know, because each one was guilty. Guilty. You know, just keep showing him hitting himself in the head with a hammer and then smashing his head through a window and then falling off of the boat. When he goes down the stairs in the wheelchair and then launches out. That would have been a great YouTube thing to intercut those things together.

Do you think they should have played the naked gun theme when they were reading the verdicts? Guilty! Everybody always asked me during the trial, everybody was always asking me, what was O.J. Simpson like on the set? Well, never killed anybody while we were shooting, so hard to say.

Who knows what he was up to at night? He was like Dexter. No, he didn't. It wasn't until after the Naked Gun series that he became a murder enthusiast. Yeah, the Halloween story was fun because Al and I had sort of just become friends

and Rob called me on a Friday and he was like, hey, you're hosting a talk show in the movie, which was in two days when I was about to fly out to do it. And he was like, do you know someone who would be an awesome cameo, like a couch guest

that could taunt Loomis, the character of Loomis? And I said, well, yeah, I'm friends with weird Ali Anglic now and Rob totally went into Rob zombie mode he was like you have to fucking ask him it was perfect yeah the echo on his voice yeah exactly the digital delay so I emailed out. I was like, hey, weird question. What are you doing Sunday? Do you want to fly to Atlanta and be in a Rob Zombie movie?

Yeah, sure. Why not? And that's exactly what he said. I'm like, great. And that was pretty much it. Yeah. And then you always will get to use Rob Zombie and Weird Al in the same sentence together. That's right.

There's a weird couple of guys who had the strangest birth names. It sort of directed them right into the world that they were going to go into. You put weird in front of somebody's name on their birth certificate, they're going to do song parodies. When we were shooting the movie,

I put a twit pic up of me and Al and Rob Zombie and Malcolm McDowell, and all these people were like, what the fuck is that? They had no idea what would get those four people in the same picture. I was so into getting a picture of me and Rob and Malcolm with Malcolm in the middle so I could tweet back to the middle.

That reminds me of weird pictures of me, where I met Weird Al for the first time was when I was in a comedy competition down in Irvine a million years ago. And the judges of the competition were Weird Al, Rita Rudner, Woody Harrelson, Richard Belzer, Paul Provenza, Bud Bud Friedman and maybe one other person I'm not remembering but that was still pretty good considering my lifestyle and I have a picture of all those people together like that was

that was the weirdest thing too did you win that competition? yeah I won so afterwards I got up on stage and all the judges posed with me but you know a lot of them a few of them were really friendly. Do you remember voting, Doug?

Nobody else wanted to vote for you, but I did. I convinced them all. You made it happen. There was like 12 angry men in there. And you were like, if we want to get out of here, let's just go with Benson. We can all agree he sucked the least. It was the weirdest little competition that then all of a sudden there was this amazing panel And then that's when I won a trip to England

On Virgin Airways And part of my prize Was performing on the plane What? Yeah they're like We're going to take you to London But you're also going to get to perform on the plane Like that's a prize

Get to perform on the plane For people wearing sleep masks On the way back to get to perform on the plane. That's a prize. Get to perform on the plane for people wearing sleep masks. On the way back, you get to fly the plane. Yeah, exactly. I hope you're open with what's up with airplane food. These honey roasted peanuts. What's the deal? Well, that's the thing about airlines is you will sit through any movie

when you're on a long flight. And I just had one happen to me yesterday. I was coming back from Florida and I sat through Aliens in the Attic. Oh, boy. I don't know why I said attic like that. I was trying to make it sound a little better. A little foreign. Yeah.

And that's a weird ass movie where like it's got some funny people in it. Like Kevin Nealon's in it and he's good in it. But you'll just watch the craziest uh shit when you're on a plane because it's just like it's right there and well you got to sit there anyway yeah what are you gonna i slept through up i took a nap during up i was like what would this old man really do and i went to sleep and then i can't believe i had to finish that sentence. Everyone was like, was there more to that? Went to sleep. And then, yeah, and then I watched Aliens in the Attic. How do you see a 3D movie on a plane?

Is it immersive? Oh, the up was not in 3D on a plane. Oh, no. Well. I know. That's why I refuse to watch Coraline on a plane. Because I hear the 3D, and that's amazing. I don't know when I'm ever going to get a chance to see it the way it's supposed to

be seen. I guess classes come with the DVD. Have you guys seen anything lately? I want to see James Cameron's $200 million 3D Smurf movie. That should be pretty good. Yeah, but the Smurfs are cuter and sexier than those things. They're like flat-nosed weirdos. I saw an extended trailer for Avatar for Thanksgiving.

I went to a movie with my mom and my girlfriend because I don't know when everything else would do. And we took her to see A Christmas Carol. And they showed an extended trailer for Avatar before in 3D.

And it looked pretty fucking amazing. It looked awesome. Well, it's a $200 million movie. So even if it only puts 30% of that up on the screen, it's still a $60 million movie. Right, right. Which, I'll watch that.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think the action will be incredible, but I'm already worried about the dialogue and stuff because they already had in one of the trailers, you know,

you're not in Kansas anymore. Well, the same guy that wrote Titanic wrote this, apparently. I was lame when they said it in The Matrix. What? The same guy that wrote Titanic. Yeah, the same guy was lame when they said it in The Matrix. What? The same guy that wrote Titanic.

Yeah, the same guy. Yeah, I mean, he's kind of, he goes a little corny sometimes. But that works for people. Like, that's why you saw Christmas Carol. Like, The Blind Side is a huge hit right now because it's a movie that families can all go to. And that's the most affordable entertainment over, like, Thanksgiving weekend. So last weekend, blindside blindsided the fucking twilight whoa you turned into a burb shit oh snap those girls that saw twilight five times

had to see blindside with their family of eight or nine people and so that that math adds up so blindside no wait i'm curious i didn't see it Did she end up hooking up with Twilight the Vampire? That's what I call them. What? Who? I didn't see. I'm not going to see. I haven't either. I have no... I haven't...

The tagline is, bring a large African-American football player that you love. Oh, wait. I thought we were talking about Twilight. I haven't moved on. Sorry. I just... I'm in a zone.

No, I did see Blindside. That worked for Twilight, too, I'm in a zone. No, I did see Blindside. That work would probably do, though, by the way. It's my second favorite Sandra Bullock movie of her career. I heard she was great. I only like the two. I only like Speed, and now I like this one. It's a cute movie. It's a good story.

And like I was reading today, that's like the family's real Christian, and like now Christian values are starting to be like all proud of themselves. Like we got a Christian family in a movie and I didn't read that way at all to me the whole time I was watching it I mean Tim McGraw of course you know he's a church goer is he a Christ liker?

a Christ liker so what about a holiday so I guess Avatar would count as like a holiday movie this year it's festive. But are there... It's jolly.

It's very colorful. That's for sure. But what about holiday movies like classics that are going to start coming on TV? By the way, I did like Christmas Carol. I thought it was pretty good. The 3D was decent. Is it better than the poster? It was better.

The poster's kind of boring. The poster's kind of like, oh, there's an old guy standing there. What's going to happen to him? He doesn't have any balloons for his house. No, but I thought it was pretty good. I heard there's a crazy chase scene in it, though, at one point that defies gravity.

The chase scene is insane. Does somebody get kicked in the crotch? That's all I want to know. No one gets kicked in the crotch. Yeah, there's no crotch kicking. That whole audience, that whole segment of the population is gone. Man, I just want to see someone get hit in the dick.

What is the problem? Tim McGraw, please. I like Christ and dick hits. That's pretty much it. Kicked in the dick by Christ. What's better than that? Alright, Chris. Sorry. Sorry, Al.

No one has run in yet screaming your name. I really thought What's going on here? What is going on? I want to see. Let's check the I want to see if it even got a response. UCB, what's that? I'll get like a couple of, come to Boston.

They wouldn't have that accent. Oh my God, that's funny you said that. Someone wrote the first one, are you ever going to come to Michigan? No, they always want you to come to like, when you say you're somewhere, they're like, but why aren't you here? Oh, why aren't I everywhere else? Oh my God. That's what people are asking me. Doug, why aren't I everywhere else? Oh my God. Because that's what people are asking me.

Doug, how about this? Someone has psychic tweets. Someone just wrote, get more face plants and some more crotch hits. I don't even know why. Did someone tweet that from in here? No way. That's crazy.

Why would they clean it up from dick hits to crotch hits? Are they network censored? I would totally do that if I lived there. Here's somebody says they're screaming from Dallas. If we listen carefully. Nope, can't hear it. They don't know. People just walked in, but they have no idea.

Somebody named Jacob Mizarro says, give me my money. I don't think it works that way. That's a weird way to rob someone over their iPhone. Oh, shit. Okay, type it. Where do I have to meet you?

Give you all my money. There's only about seven or eight minutes left. I don't think it's going to happen. I don't think it's bursting in. We've got a little bit more time than that. We're doing good. Whoa, what is that crazy fucking hipster-looking beer you got there? Steel kettle.

All right. Irony's delicious. Steel kettle. All right. Irony's delicious. Be cool, you guys. Be cool with those. Is that beer? Is it good? Just tell people it's sun tea. Is this the real P.B. Herman here?

Yes, that is the real P.B. Herman. It feels like a P.B. Herman bot because it's always just retweeting them. Thanks! Or, that is the real Pee Wee Herman. It feels like a Pee Wee Herman bot because it's always just retweeted and then, Thanks! Or, That's great! Somebody wrote, Test. See if you can come into UCB LA for Doug Benson's show before 8pm.

Rush in and yell Doug's name and I'll give you $20. I wrote that. Oh, that was you. Oh, okay. Yeah, someone did write that and he's sitting right here! Let's bring him out! I thought I'd give you a nice softball setup. Oh, I appreciate that. I didn't say New York or LA. There's somebody him out. I thought I'd give you a nice softball setup. Oh, I appreciate that.

I didn't say New York or LA. There's somebody getting a plane ride into New York and they didn't specify UCB LA. Someone's going to totally crash a show in New York. I'm so bummed.

Doug Benson! Oh! I can't mention UCB on the thing without somebody writing back New York or LA. And I'm like,

it says UCBtheater.com right there. Just click on it. Right. Check the two cities oh that's too much work isn't it funny how like typing

a little bit more is too much work now it used to be like doing that extra errand in your car was too exhausting and now if the link doesn't get me right there

I'm just like oh fuck it I need a nap how many tweets do you get that could easily be solved by I don't know

Google yeah when you tell people to Google, they immediately snap back. Oh, I thought you were cool. I thought you were going to be nice. The most genius thing ever was I asked Twitter a lot of questions

to get stuff answered, and I asked something that I didn't know, and this dude sent me a link. He video captured on his computer him typing it into Google and clicking search. And I wrote back and I was like, this is the most genius thing I've ever seen. And he was like, I'm sorry

for being sarcastic. I'm like, no, it was totally worth it. Let me Google that for you. Yeah, yeah, that's a great, everybody should do that and then nobody would. What? Really, with Google, you really should not ever ask another question ever again. You have every answer, the collective knowledge of humanity in your fucking pocket.

There's no reason to ever ask a question. That's going to be an implant in your forehead one of these days. Just a Google chip, you know? Oh, what's that? Oh, now I know. There it is. There it is. I now have Geordie LaForge eyes. Or Geordie LaForge glasses.

But his eyes were all white and milky. Because he's future blind. That's a special kind of blind. That's a special kind of blind. I love it. All right. We're not going to play Build a Title tonight because I've run out of time for two games,

but I did, in honor of Weird Al being here, for his classic movie, UHF. Yeah, let's hear it for UHF. I mean, let's also just hear it for UHF in general. That was one of my two favorite things on the dial when I was a kid. I'd switch back and forth between UHF and VHF. It's so anachronistic now. Yeah, it's crazy.

But I thought of a long title that could be built around that and it would be Everyone Says I Love UHF Effect of Gamma Rays on Manor. Oh, excellent. Old school ties that bind. I got stopped at bind.

I couldn't get past bind. So tweet to me if anybody can get it past Bind. But now let's play the Letter Mold game, everybody. Let's do it. I have the iPhone app now, so I don't have to have the big, thick book. And you guys can't look at the book to figure out which letter of the alphabet I'm reading from.

Averting my eyes. Maybe I could hack into your phone and see what you're typing. alphabet I'm reading from. Averting my eyes. Maybe I could hack into your phone and see what you're typing. If someone read it and yelled your name right then, that would have been awesome. That would have been amazing. That would have been the most amazing timing. Okay, so let's actually pick some audience members for you guys to play for since, you

know, what can you get Chris and Weird Al that they don't already have? Their lives are perfect Let's give some prizes to some audience members Okay This gentleman right here is in the pole position So let's A pole for you What's your name? Mike

Alright Mike and Al you want to play for Mike? I would love to That's awesome and what's your name? Young man Josh Hi Josh Chris would you like to play for Mike? I would love to. That's awesome. And what's your name, young man? Josh. Hi, Josh. Chris, would you like to play for Josh? No.

No. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'll play for Josh. Okay, he's playing for Josh. All right. I'll play for Josh. I totally would have gone on to the next guy if you were having a bad vibe about it or whatever.

Okay, so let me just quickly say so that it'll be even more exciting and suspenseful what happens here. The winner, the person you're playing for is going to win an extra large sized Doug Benson's Medical Marijuana Tour t-shirt, which are still, of course, available at donkeytees.com. And they're also

going to win the latest album by Paul F. Tompkins. Yeah, I'm taking this up a notch this week. The new album by Paul F. Tompkins. Yeah. Yeah, I'm taking this up a notch this week. The new album by Paul F. Tompkins, Freak Wharf, dropped today, as we say in the business. This is sort of like the release party right here. This is a Paul F. Tompkins release party. And then I'm also throwing in a copy of my first CD Doug Beds of Professional Humoridian

And both Freak Wharf and Professional Humoridian Are available at ASTrecords.com And we love those guys over there At ASTrecords.com So go there and fill up your shopping cart Great stocking stuffers and what not You just turned into a 70's DJ

We love those guys over at EST. Now a little steely dad. I'm just talking to the words of the song kicking in. Okay, and then 1015 on the Central Coast. Let's have a little The Central Coast.

Wow. Fresno Radio. Okay, and the loser, of course, and loser's not the right word for it, but whichever gentleman... No loser, loser's good. ...between Mike or Josh,

whichever one doesn't win tonight, they get to decide who I call a shithead at the end of the show. Oh, wow. So everybody wins, except for the loser. That's like the box, where you fucking pick who dies. Oh, my God, the box got a, on the opening night,

the audience is rated an F. Cinema score rated the box F. Like opening night, like the shittiest movies get a C plus because opening night, those people are fired up. Like they're there because that's what they want to see. Yeah, they were fired up about the box. Box, box, box, box, box! the box. That's what they want to see, yeah. They were fired up about the box. Box, box, box, box, box!

If people are showing up in line for nights dressed in boxes, they just can't fucking... Rob Zombie's, we want box! We want box! Box, we're not gonna come back. I was hoping you guys would sing a little bit on the show. You're both such good singers.

We want box! The theme... Doug Hayes and the show. You're both such good singers. We want box. The theme. Doug hates candy wrappers. I hate what? Candy wrappers. Oh, you're doing like you should do some, you know, for the next season, like how Bill Cosby

changed up every year. Do like the same words, but totally different songs. We're going to do a duet Yank Hard. Yes! God damn it! We have to do that. Sorry, Furman.

Sorry, Furman. I'm leaving Hard and Furman to join Yank Hard. We found a funnier duet name. Sorry, sorry. Yank Firm just doesn't really... Yank Firm, Yank Hard. Oh, God.

Fantastic. Or Mike Furman could be just man, like Yank Hard, man. And it could just turn into a weird gay sentence. Not gay at all until the third word. Yank Hard. Okay. Mr. Yankovic, I will let you choose between what year this movie is from.

We'll determine which movie we're going to do. Okay, I pick 1918. That's not in here. Oh, sorry. Man walks across street. 1996, 2008, or 2001? I'm going to go old school, 96. All right.

That's the way to take Chris out of this game. Before you were born, my young friend. Smart play. I like it. All right, here we go. This movie's from 1996. Leonard Maltin. It's a musical.

Leonard Maltin gives it three stars. Generous, in my opinion. Leonard Maltin gives it three stars. Generous, in my opinion. And then the one thing from the review I'll tell you is the score is brilliantly arranged by Dick Hyman. That might be too good of a clue, maybe. Brilliantly. And there are quite a few names.

We're talking 13 names. I can name that in 13. Oh, good call. Chris? I'll try to name it in six. You're crazy! I know! Six.

Think you can do it in less than six, Al? 96. Dick Hyman. You know, I'm a big Dick Hyman fan, but his oeuvre is so extensive, it'd be hard to narrow it down. Name that movie, my friend. All right. Six.

Here we go. Six names. David Ogden Stiers. I've heard it differently. It's a musical? Mm-hmm. Okay. Billy Crudup.

Lucas Haas. A musical? Natasha Lyonne. Gabby Hoffman. And Natalie Portman. A fucking musical? Those are your six names. Yeah.

The lowest listed cast members in a musical. You didn't see the air quotes. It's a musical. members in a musical. You didn't see the air quotes. It's a musical. It's a musical. I mean, like a musical as in there's a full-on soundtrack that they sing and stuff? Or is it just a... Yeah, it's a musical. A musical?

A musical, yeah. Just for future notice, all the movies tonight are musicals where the characters sing. And it wasn't a musical version of The Professional? I want the fucking girl damn it she's young like there's not a and i like milk and i like man um i've it's uh do you know i have a guest but if i get wrong do i do i just no no you win the point because chris isn't gonna get it i don't i honestly don't is it everyone says i love you that's correct i love you what That's correct. Everyone says I love you. What? I just said it a few minutes ago as part of the UHF.

Everyone says I love UHF. I really made it out there for you. I didn't listen to that long. Sorry, John. I made it myself. Al wins the point. That means that Mike is on the catbird scene. Congratulations.

Yeah, we got to do another one here and see if Chris can tie it up. It's first person to two wins this thing. Chris gets to go first because he's in the desperate, sad position of being the loser. Yep. 2008, 2001, or 1975? Let's go 2001. I like it. Is it the movie 2001?

This is... 2010's not going to get a re-release next year, is it? That movie? I'm sure it will, like, at the New Art or something. Maybe thanks to Dexter, there'll be a huge John Lithgow resurgence. Yes! Oh, World According to Garp John Lithgow resurgence. Yes.

Oh, a world according to Garp in 3D. Nice. Really awesome. Okay, so this got two stars. It was from 2001. Let me see something I could say about it. Oh, he calls it... God, everything gives it away. He uses the word extraordinary, but... he doesn't mean as a whole.

Oh, and he also uses the word grotesque. That's a good clue. Okay, 2001, two stars, it's a musical, and there are eight names. Will you start the bidding with Chris Hardwick? I just don't know musicals. I'm going to say eight. Eight names. I'm going to take the bullet and say seven.

That's some bullet you took. All right, I'll try six, but that's really as low as I can go. He says that's as low as he's going to go. It's like I'm fucking bargaining. I'm sorry. I came in here with a number in mind and that's the lowest I can go.

Okay, Chris, do it. What? You son of a bitch! Yes! Yes, good call. This is going to be good. You might be able to pull this off, Chris. Laura Mulcahy.

I don't know who that is. You don't know who that is. Let's move on. Hopefully she's not a listener of this podcast. Hey, it's just a fact it's not uh you know we don't know who she is all right lara mokahi uh then kylie minogue heard of her yeah yeah she's in it then somebody named jerry gary mcdonald doesn't matter whether it's gary or. Then some fellow named Richard Roxburgh. But here's the two that might help you.

Two more names, then there's the two stars on top of that. The next two names are Jim Broadbent and John Leguizamo. Oh. Oh. Al knows it, but don't say anything. 2001 musical with John Leguizamo? It's not Spawn, is it? Fuck.

Now, if I were on Twitter, I would write back to you, no, it is not Spawn. John Leguizamo. Is it... Oh. Okay, I think I have a guess. I hope you do. This will be exciting.

It'll be all tied up. Is it To Wong Fu? Oh. I don't think that was a musical. I think they danced around or something. Oh, they just danced on a bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that's a good guess because then the two more names would be Wesley Snipes and Patrick Swayze, but it wasn't a musical. Can I steal by singing the theme song? Oh, I love it. Moulin Rouge! Ah, shit.

Yeah. Yeah, well maybe I just don't know nothing about no queer musicals, Al. Let's do one more just to rub it in. I'm gonna fail at this epically. I'm just not good with musicals. Yeah, I possibly may have picked stuff that you're not going to have any idea.

I mean, I know I don't know half of these things. I saw Moulin Rouge like once, and as soon as they were like, I'm Moulin Rouge! And it was like all this color just ejaculated in my eyes. It was hard to watch. I didn't enjoy it. I don't like musicals.

I don't like musicals because I don't like having to sing the subtext of everything. That's irritating to me. The subtext. The subtext in a scene, rather than having it come out through story, it's like, I'm so alone. Fuck you. Stop singing to yourself. That's why you're alone.

But, all right. I give up. Do you like music videos? Sure. We're going to play a music video game? You said that like you're still on the MTV payroll or something. Oh, yeah, I love... Oh, yeah.

Love them. Watch them all the time. People still remind me that MTV doesn't play goddamn videos anymore. What? You're kidding me. Yeah. When did that happen? It's Chris Hardwick's fault.

20 years. Yeah. Yeah. It's all your fault they don't play music videos. Yeah. And if they did, people wouldn't watch anyway. They don't watch. That's why they don't play them.

Exactly. All right. Here we go. This is from 2008. So you can maybe get it just by knowing that there was movies out in 2008. Is it Hairspray? That was... You almost tricked me into seeming gay.

I think Hairspray was the year before that. Shit. Yeah. All right, but the... What happened to my... The app is freaking out. That's because you're on a first-gen iPhone, Doug. Okay.

Glad you're keeping that dream alive. Again, Leonard gives it a generous three stars. Oh, Len, how do you do it? stars. Oh, Lynn, how do you do it? The story strings together a parade of songs. That's the clue. So it's musical.

Clearly. You've just described the genre. I know. As soon as I was doing it, I thought, that'll be funny. I can't say any more about it, because it'll give it away, I think. I think I I was doing it, I thought, that'll be funny. I can't say any more about it because it'll give it away, I think. I think I know what it is, but I can't remember the name of it. Oh, perfect. So, the

bidding starts with Chris. Doug, I can't name that movie at all. You got eight names. Eight names. He says eight names. Is Bono one of the names? No. But you can't ask things like that. Oh! He says eight names Is Bono one of the names? No But you can't ask things like that

I mean by the way Mike is already the winner So let's just make that clear Because Josh is sitting over there thinking Maybe there's some way That Chris could catch up With his absolute lack of knowledge And who would you like Josh for us to call a shithead Me to call a shithead That Chris could catch up with his absolute lack of knowledge.

And who would you like, Josh, for me to call a shithead? Weird Alan that Chris did not drag into it. Oh, absolutely. Baz Luhrmann. Baz Luhrmann. Oh, that's a good one. Were you always mad at him? Or did this Moulin Rouge, but did the bringing up tonight remind you how much you hate him?

Doug Benson! Yes! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! That is awesome. A dude just yelled Doug Benson. Let me get your... Chris is giving him $20. This is like real life.

What is your name? My name is Dustin. Dustin, what is your Twitter name? I am not on Twitter, but my friend Tiffany, who met you at Disneyland last night, is... Okay. All right. Wait, wait, wait. That sounds bad.

That sounds bad. Oh, so that's why you yelled Doug Benson is because she saw his... Oh, okay. That sounds bad that I met a girl at Disneyland last night. I thought I was the winner. That is a gorgeous princess costume you have. What is your phone number? Dustin, here is your 20 American dollars.

You fucking rule. That was fantastic. Dustin, everyone. Doug, that was awesome. Yeah, that was great. I thought I won, though, but you said to people to come in and yell Doug Benson. So it was your Twitter that did it. Yeah, I guess so.

And that's why you gave up the $20. That's why I gave it up. You used to do tweets where you're like, I put $20 in an envelope and stuck it in a thing. Yeah, when I would travel, I would hide it somewhere and just give a clue and say, I've hidden $20 in an envelope. So there's like $20 in an envelope in several spots all around the country. Not anymore, because the first time I did it, someone found it within like 15 minutes. And I'm like, nah, it doesn't seem very fun.

You think it should take people days to find it? More than 20 minutes if I'm going to be like throwing out cash. Yeah, that's true. Okay, so there's eight names. Let's make him name in eight names. Let's see if he can do it because you've already won. We've already the show's already over. We're not even recording anymore.

The names are Christine Baranski, Amanda Seyfried. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the ABBA movie. Dominic Cooper. Julie Walters. Shit! It is called It's the ABBA movie. Dominic Cooper. It's a fucking... Julie Walters. Shit! It's a... Ellen Skarsgård.

It's called... It is called the title of an ABBA song. The great singing Pierce Brosnan. It is the title of an ABBA song. It's not... Meryl Streep. Dancing Queen. It's fucking...

We don't really speak English. It's called... Mamma Mia! Mamma Mia! I would never watch that movie. I would never watch that movie. I would never watch that movie. We would have taken Fernando, by the way. It really is.

It's pure torture, that movie, but I'm also sort of obsessed with how crazy torturous it is. It's really... I haven't taken enough estrogen injections to take to that movie yet. It's like it puts women in a hypnotic trance and men want to just fucking murder something. I don't know what it is.

It's really crazy. Like, you should just show your baby Mamma Mia and you'll know if it's gay or not. But I could listen to Pierce Brosnan sing all day, I tell you.

Oh, God, his singing is amazing in that movie. You guys have anything you want to plug? Any upcoming dates Or shows or specials When is this going On the internet

It'll be up soon So this will be Available around The 5th or 6th of December 2009 Oh I'd like to plug The Bob Dylan Christmas album It's amazing

Alright so that's Weird Al's pick Chris you've got Something coming up On G4 Well if this comes up before the 5th, I'll be in Portland

at the Aladdin Theater on Saturday the 5th. But if not, there's a web soup. You're still going to go there. You're still going to go there on December 5th. I'm still going there.

Either way. Yeah, either way. Whether this is out before then or not. But I think it'll be out before then. If it's out before then, I'll be in the Aladdin Theater.

Run into the theater tonight and yell out Doug Benson. Doug Benson! Don't fucking do that if you're listening. Don't do that. $20 to every person. You son of a... Don't fucking do that.

Why would you do that? You know what else is weird about auditioning for stuff? Doug Benson! Fucking show's ruined. It was an hour-long web soup special that Al did a little guest thing on.

I only appear in public with Chris Hardwick at this point. When does that start? I know, it's true. When does that start airing? Yank Hard. It airs between

Christmas and New Year's but I'm not exactly sure when yet. All right, all right, cool. On the G4 Networks. Look for that, everybody. And thanks, everybody. This was a great show.

Have a great time. And as always, Baz Luhrmann is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.