Doug Loves Movies - Will Leonard, Dale Cheesman and Geoff Tate guest

Episode Date: December 16, 2017

Live from The Secret Group in Houston, Doug welcomes Will Leonard, Dale Cheesman and Geoff Tate to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates Candy wrappers screaming, Baby sticky seats With 50 ads and popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see He has a God To

Be You guys went up and down so much on the volume, it's going to sound like the listeners are going to think there are sound issues. But it was quite a rollercoaster of noise, me walking to the stage tonight, and thank you for that. And my name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Bob Love Movies! Someone usually tries to throw in a yeah there, even though it's not the right time for it. Coming to you for the first time from the secret group, but not our first time in Houston, Texas.

Oh boy, it's Friday, December 15th, boy. It's Friday, December 15, 2017. And I can't thank you guys enough for being here instead of at Star Wars. The Last Jedi. Is there anyone who hasn't seen it yet and could have been watching it right now? Holy shit. Well, that's quite a sacrifice you're making for me.

But also based on how much everybody's loving it, it feels like it's mostly love out there on the internet for it. There's some sticklers. But it seems like there's mostly love, so at least you have something to look forward to. Which is hard to find in life these days.

So that's nice. And since you guys aren't watching Star Wars, but you are here, did you also have time to make amazing name tags like you always do? Oh, okay, Houston. This is a little light for Houston.

I'm not going to lie to you. I mean, okay, there we go. Now that that one's up, we, Houston. This is a little light for Houston. I'm not going to lie to you. I mean, okay, there we go. Now that that one's up, we're good. Young Kevin Stein. I like it on every level. Because I love that movie. I love that the pun is not good at all. Kevin Franken.

Oh, it's not that bad. It's not that bad. Beep, beep, beep, beep. And, um, that I'm the monster on the poster is especially satisfying, because I did love that movie. Uh, Lee Miserable, because your name's Lee.

Nicely done. What Lies Benora? because your name's Lee. Nicely done. What lies Benora? Now, I know your name's not Benora. It's just Nora. Nice job, Nora. What is this thing about being baked over here?

Baked in Brooke? Brooke Lindsey. Brooke Lindsey. There's a movie called Baked in Brooklyn? Yeah. Oh, wow. I should check that out. I like Brooklyn and being baked.

Clint Eastwood in Dirty Jude. It's like, I think somewhere along the lines people are just like, fuck puns. I'm just gonna take a movie I like or a poster I have access to and I'm just gonna change one word.

Last night in Orlando, that guy, I still can't get over that a guy thought instead of Dolphin Tale 2, Stephen Tale 2 would be a decent... But then he kept saying, I'm in it. And I'm like, okay, if you're in Dolphin Tale 2, then I guess you can do whatever you want.

Being John Michaelvich. Now see, that's what I'm looking for. And then it's also on a small door. Hey, if you want to crack your friends up, they probably won't get it. Anytime I see a small door, like at the hallway backstage of Jimmy Kimmel Live, there's like, it's one of those small doors,

it's like really low, but it's got a knob on it. I always go, that's John Cusack's office and nobody ever laughs but it makes me laugh so try it sometime see what happens to you a great job as always Name tags are always plentiful in Houston. And the Doug plugs are about to happen starting now. Go! Tate Crazy Nights continues

tomorrow at a sold out show at Hyena's in Dallas. Why'd I bring it up? Seats are available Sunday in San Antonio, Monday in Austin, Tuesday in San Francisco, and Wednesday in Sacramento. Sacramento's going to sell out any second now. For more info, go to DouglasMovies.com.

That's DouglasMovies.com! Yeah! This guy over here threw in a ho-ho-ho. Ha-ha-ha. 202 people attended last night's show in Orlando. We don't have a count for tonight yet, but it looks like we may be close to that or may be beating it.

The city on this tour that has the most people in attendance will get another Doug Loews movies in the first quarter of next year. Sometimes you come back too soon, you don't sell as many tickets, but fuck it. I'll come back. Whatever town wins, I'm going to do it. And you know I'm going to be back here anyway

because I love Houston and is everybody on board with this venue I don't want to disparage other places that I played here but this feels right to tweet at me if you disagree by the end of the night. Okay, so I brought a prize bag. It's not the best prizes in the world because I'm doing eight cities in eight nights and my luggage is full of my shit. But, you know, I like to steal stuff and then give it to people.

Robin Hood style. Here is a mug from my hotel room. A Douglas Movies t-shirt. I didn't have to steal that. I own those. I'm hanging on to this. Somebody gave me this confetti gun. Yeah, and it's really not great at all.

But I'm going to try again tonight to shoot the confetti gun. Appropriate moments of victory. Now, here's an interesting thing that happened last night. I said I love Santa hats, you know, and people that wear them. And somebody just chucked this one up onto the stage. It's got like reindeer shit on it. And yeah, they threw it up here. So I'm going to wear it every night.

But if someone on this tour also brought one of these hats, it's funny that people had more hats in Orlando where it was 70. Here in Houston, I believe it's 32. That's not enough of an exaggeration for you guys to get a laugh. You're like, yeah, that's about right. That's some fucking acu-weather right there. But if some, I don't see any, but if somebody had one, I would trade with you right now. But I don't see any in the audience, so I'm going to keep this one on.

And I'm finally almost out of these little Christmas-themed red and white pipes from Peacemaker. Yeah, and there's one more thing in here. And I'd like to talk about it for a second. It's from our friend Will Leonard. Yeah? That's you over there? Over there in the corner? Sharing the spotlight?

Guy over there said it too. R.E.M. Okay, so are you losing your religion? Should have went right to the part people remember. That's me in the corner. So, uh... That's one of those things where

whenever somebody's in a corner, I either say something about baby or sing that R.E.M. song. There's just little triggers that I have. You know the biggest one I have, the Borat thing, but hopefully that won't happen tonight. Listen, Will, you can't just say

my wife and expect me to... There's no reason for me to say it after you just teed it up. It's got to be somebody who doesn't expect it. Josh Wolfe is my favorite. He comes on the show all the time and he always brings up his wife and every time

he fucking acts surprised when I do that. But Will Leonard comes to the shows all the time and you bring a sheet with you that I don't even know how that thing, do you wash it ever? No. It's just a sheet that he's gotten. How many comedian signatures do you think you have on there?

A lot. Yeah, it's a sheet covered in signatures because, you know, someday he'll find a woman who's into that. Or whatever you're looking for. But Will, you come to the shows all the time. You always bring something for the prize bag, a lovely gift

from a local theater. Tonight, would you do me the honor of being a guest for the entire show? Somebody canceled. I'm kidding. That was my idea, but can you get up here? Yeah, yeah, come on up. Just sitting there soaking in all the applause instead of moving his ass.

And then these guys, it's a nice couch that he was on over there. Two other guys just slid over like they're, they're super happy. That's like when the middle seat's empty on a fucking crowded plane. I'm just like, yeah. Now I can really spread out.

Yeah, look at him go, everybody. Here he is, It's Will Leonard. He's got his name tag. It's a Jar Jar Binks situation. Less said about that, the better. Oh, that was... Is that the shinhead on the back? It's Jar Jar Binks? That's the donut party.

Oh, you're supposed to throw donuts at Jar Jar? But then you're sitting right there. I can do this. Yeah, how do you feel? I mean, is this bumming you out that I'm forcing you to do this last minute? No. I'm not very good at the game, but...

Oh, perfect. My other guests are going to love that. And by the way, pro tip, the couch is the perfect fat boy seat. The perfect what? Fat boy seat. Fat boy? Fat boy seat. B-O-I?

What? Fat boy? Fat boy? Well, those guys don't look fat, so... But in the future, if you're fat and you like comedy, and you come out to the secret group, go sit in that fucking couch.

On the couch, yeah. What'd you get here today, around 2 o'clock? Last night. Last night, slept over. Slept on the couch. Slept over on the couch. All right, Will. You brought for the prize making envelope.

It's always something to do with theater, the alley theater here in town. What production is somebody going to get the pleasure of checking out? A Christmas Carol, A Ghost Story of Christmas. Oh, I never knew the full title. That's just our version, Doug. Our version's a ghost story. Oh, I never knew the full title. That's just our version, Doug.

Our version's a ghost story. Oh, okay. Yeah, but you still give Charles Dickens credit. Yes. And it was directed by James Black. And what do you have to do with it? I'm the associate technical director. I do the scenery for the Alley Theater.

Oh, okay. So I load that set in every year. So for this particular production, you had to make some scenery that people could see behind ghosts. Correct. Yeah, so your scenery probably got the best showcase ever.

Yeah. Because it's only got ghosts in front of it. Ghosts. G-g-g-ghosts. And Tiny Tim. Is there a little kid that plays Tiny Tim? Yes, there is. Is he heartbreaking?

She is very heartbreaking. Spoiler alert. Wow, that is double cruel. She's a cripple and she's named Tim. What a horrible life that little child has to lead. So how soon do people have to, where can people see it?

How soon do they have to see it? The production is running till New Year's, till December 30th, I believe. Yeah. And this is our first production back in our space since Harvey flooded us out. Oh, shit. So we're glad to be home.

And hopefully in January, our smaller space will be reopened. But right now, our big space is open now. Are you starting to tell me that Steve Harvey came to town? I wish I didn't fuck that one up, but it still went okay. I'm Steve Harvey and I do not like

the alley theater. Settle down, Steve. Do you want your envelope back? I'll give him the envelope. But you know the thing came in an envelope and then you put it in an envelope.

Right. I mean, what are you, just trying to get somebody a finger cut, a paper cut? I'm trying to make it a little difficult for you. Right. I mean, what are you, just trying to get somebody a finger cut, a paper cut? I'm trying to make it a little difficult for you. Okay. So thank you for bringing that, dude.

And thank you for, how many Doug Loves movies do you think you've seen here in Houston? I think I have seen all of them. Yeah, I think so, maybe. This will be your eighth or ninth signature on the sheet. Wow. And you probably also come, like, if I just come through and do stand be your eighth or ninth signature on the sheet. Wow. And you probably also come, like, if I just come through and do stand-up, you come to that? Yeah. All right.

So I appreciate your support. Thank you. And that's why you're on stage tonight. And you're on stage with, you know, we already know who one of the guests is because it's Tate Crazy Nights. But please give a big warm welcome. I almost said it the right way. I almost accidentally said it correctly. Let's hear it for Dale Cheeseman and Jeff Tate. I'm just laughing because I plugged my phone in backstage

and then left it there. And that's how I keep track of the time. But you know what? I'll just wait until they turn the lights out and I'll assume the show should be over. As soon as everybody, as soon as the people who work here close down, I'll wrap it up.

Let's meet them individually. Because you're clearly dying to. You're not liking my bit about how late this is going to go. Nobody has to get up early tomorrow, do they? No. It's more Saturday. All right, good.

So this thing's going to rage to 945. But let's say hello to him. I haven't seen him since the last time I was in Texas. This is Dale Cheeseman! Cheeseman with no E Except for the two But not the one where you think it would be It's a very long last name But I thank you for remembering

What was the last show you were on? Douglas Movies wise San Antonio, I believe. Yeah, when was that? January-ish? Like summer, I beat Jacob Searoth. It was in the summer? I think so.

I was just there? Yeah, we're going back. This is like every half year. That's good business model. Twice a year, you get twice the money. I think it was more like January. What's happening? Oh, thank you.

You're the nicest thief. He's going to steal my phone, but on the way out, he came to the stage and gave it back. Hey, that's how scary it was the show would go that long. I can't do this to all these people. Hey, that's how scary it was the show would go that long. I can't do this to all these people. Hey, man.

Hey, man, I work here. Keep track of the time, dude. We don't appreciate it. Yeah, please, nobody else take the liberty of going to the back and touching our stuff. Let's make that the last one. That's so much valuable shit back there, but I was just going to the back and touching our stuff. Let's just make that the last one. That's so much valuable shit back there,

but I was just going to run back and get it during the name tag selection process part or something, but that worked out good. What else? Does anybody else want anything? Because it's... The secret group is where dreams come true. I'm like, where's my phone? true. I plugged in a million dollars

and then left it right there. I left a big sack of cash backstage because somebody... Let's also say hello to... I don't know how caught up you guys are on episodes of the show, but he's two for two so far on Take Crazy Nights. Yeah, I know. Sorry,

dude. I think it'll still be fun to listen to, even if you know he wins. I enjoy the movie Rudy, and I know what happens. But this is like a guy, like, I know the stakes are, let's say, lower, but let's say you went to, like like the third game of the World Series. You're like, don't tell me about game two.

I haven't seen it yet. That's like going to the Oscars and saying, I missed the Spirit Awards yesterday. Please don't. Please don't spoil that shit. It's Jeff Tate! Hey, everybody. Hello. The first night, you had to beat, you know, 11 people.

Yeah. And then last night, you just beat a couple of Pheebs. And I forget who was on last night. And tonight he's stacking the deck against you. Yeah, tonight I brought out... No, not at all. Taking it easy. I picked two people that are so bad

that they may triumph because of magnets. Magnets have always been my kryptonite. I was trying to think of some sort of scientific reason why losing would help win, but I don't. Forget it. We could coordinate our fuck-ups

to like Sam Levine. Where he just gets screwed out of every round. If we work together to suck the same amount, one of us can randomly pull this off, and that's what the show is all about. It's like our two sucking will make one good.

Yeah, that sounds like a movie tagline. You're doing great. You're doing great. We can do this. What is that for the third Fifty Shades movie? Two sucks makes a right. Two sucking make one good is the first Rock Statham spinoff from the Fast and Furious franchise.

Last night, that was the last time I was on. Holy shit, Jeff. Last night we saw a trailer for some Chris Rock thing not Chris Rock The Rock some Dwayne Johnson thing that I don't even know what the fuck happened it said from the makers of San Andreas and then does he fly

a giant bird or something no man it's based on that game Rampage it's not a good game but the movie looks pretty bad. What's he flying around on in the trailer? Oh, it's a helicopter? A helicopter, yeah. Oh, that's why I remember it, sort of.

It's because he doesn't know how to fly a helicopter in that movie, but in San Andreas, he was a helicopter pilot. So it's odd to me to go, from the makers of San Andreas, now he can't fly a helicopter. It's got the same helicopter. It's the same guy, same helicopter, different.

They're like, Rampage is actually a prequel where he learns how to fly a helicopter. I don't, um... But does Rampage is actually a prequel where he learns how to fly a helicopter. I don't... Sorry. But does Rampage have monsters in it or something? Yeah, it was a video game where they had to force a plot for what they built. They're like, all right, we've got a monkey, a dog, and a lizard who are 30 feet tall. What do we do?

We throw the rock at it. That explains everything. And in the game, you just knock down the buildings. The whole point of it is to knock down the buildings. You're the rock at it. That explains everything. In the game, you just knock down the buildings. The whole point of it is to knock down the buildings. You're the play the monster. But now you fight the monster. I got to my neighborhood and I got to round 40 and then I googled to see if it ever

ended and it doesn't end. The fucking game never ends. It just gets a little harder each round. You've got an arcane in your neighborhood? Yeah. I live in the third hippest neighborhood in the fucking country, according to businessinsider.com.

You spent $380 researching that bit. Unless you're great at the game. The arcade, the games are free. That is hip. The second best neighborhood in the country is living inside the convention center that looks like a ship. Hey, you know what?

If you guys are going to go for the local references, why would the listeners like it? It was just for you. Or do you not think this convention center looks like a ship? My weed, is that good?

And what happened? Did it float during the Harvey? Doug, just because you barkfed off the side of it doesn't mean it's a boat. Doug, when you go by, do you say, I'm a boat captain? The doors have circular boat windows. It's so boat-like. They meant it.

Every year they hold a Purview Storm fan convention there. I always thought it was the top to one of those 2012 survival ships for billionaires. Like when Harvey was going down, I was like 90% sure it was just going to start

taking off into the sky. We're not sticking around for this. Oh yeah, I'm also a local who went through Harvey. Just, I feel bad because y'all clearly have so much emotional support for Will. And I just want to be like,

hey, some of y'all can root for me. Guys, I live in Cincinnati, but that hey, some of y'all can root for me. Guys, guys. I live in Cincinnati, but that Harvey thing really made my Twitter feed a drag. So if you guys could root for me. Just so you guys know,

this is what it looks like when you graduate from L school. All right, so, Will, you know, because you've seen the show eight times in this town, maybe listened to it a few other times. I always ask all the guests what the last movie they saw was. What was the last movie you saw? The Room. Wait, why is... That's not a question for the audience.

That's not me. You've been on one show and you already have a stalker. I like that that lady yelled out the room like she thought, why isn't everyone else all yelling out what movie we saw? You saw the original The Room that Disaster Artist is about. Yeah. And had you seen Disaster Artist? No.

No. Are you going to? Well, we were going to tonight. Tonight, but you came to this. So go ahead and never see it. Did you like the room? No, awful. Funny, awful?

There must have been a huge coincidence. Like, you watch the room, and you're like, hey, what if I told you there's a movie in theaters right now about that movie you just enjoyed? You're like, uh, no. Once was enough. But yeah, uh, no. Once was enough. But yeah, see it eventually. It's good.

Maybe tomorrow. If you're not busy seeing Last Jedi. Day for Night. Day for Night, classic what's-his-name movie. I will say the last movie I saw was Thor Ragnarok.

For reals? For reals. On like home video or something? No. The screen. Oh, it's still in theaters. Holy shit. That is hanging in there nice and you know, because we know when Thor Ragnarok day was. It was early November.

Right. Yes. It's fun. It's still a fun movie. Oh, it'll always be a fun movie. I think it's aged nicely in the last six years. Did you... Was that your first time?

No, no. That was the second? I've seen it again with a friend who hadn't seen it. Nice. And I drug him. Yeah, that's a great way to do it. Yes. And did he like it?

He did. Because I hate dragging some of the movies when they don't like it. That's the best way to do it. When they don't like it? When you say, hey, this is a great movie. And they sit there the whole movie going. Yeah, that's terrible. Yeah.

I don't like that at all. It's like when I took my wife to see Deadpool. She didn't like it? She went, and then when Ryan Reynolds was naked, it was okay.

You gotta get rid of her, dude. So we're all thanking it. She didn't like Deadpool? No way. She makes more money than I do. I didn't like Deadpool? No way. She makes more money than I do. I need her to support me. All right. Deadpool came out on Valentine's Day.

What are the odds this guy didn't take her there on Valentine's Day? You got a side with her on this one. In fairness, you got a side with her. No, she had to work on Valentine's Day. So I took myself to see Deadpool on Valentine's Day. And then when you went and saw it again, you made her go? We were on a cruise and they were playing it

over the pool one night and so I made her watch it. That sounds like the greatest cruise. I thought so. She did not. Deadpool at the pool. Deadpool at the pool. Deadpool at the pool. I was on a Weezer cruise once

where they showed young Frankenstein. What's it called? Young Kevinstein. They showed it outside over the pool. It's a nice way to watch a movie, but Deadpool seems like an odd choice. But at least your wife got to lay on a chaise lounge and get some

moonsun. Dale, what was the last movie you saw? Star Wars. Let's talk about it. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, we're not ready? Uh-oh. Guys, you've had 12 hours. Come on. Uh-oh. Listen, dude. Spoiler. The-oh. Listen, dude.

Spoiler. The movie happens. I am not an asshole. We saw Lady Bird right before it because they were sold out for the 745 showing. Wait, what are you saying? We saw... Yesterday we saw Star Wars and Lady Bird. You saw both movies in the same day?

Yeah. That's an interesting double. No, like four days before that. Was one for you and one for her? Four days before that, we went and saw Coco, which is amazing. It's awesome. Let's take us through it. And then how many days before that did you see something else?

No, no, no. Right after Coco. We do two-fers like all the time. And we did Coco. And then right after that, we watched three billboards outside No, no, no. Right after Coco, we do two-fers like all the time. And we did Coco and then right after that we watched three billboards outside of Ebbing, Missouri. Which is,

if y'all don't know, about a murder burn rape. So it takes you from like feeling great, family friendly happiness just all the way down to I don't want to see my family at the holidays

sadness. It was an emotional journey. And four hours long. Wait, but Coco is a Pixar thing, so there's got to be parts of that you're supposed to cry. Supposed to, yeah. You don't have to. No, I'm just saying.

You're taking my girlfriend's side already? She got mad at me. How can you not relate? I was never a small musical Mexican boy. I wish I was. I have an honest question about Coco. What do you got? Is it just Book of Life with a little boy

instead of a mariachi player? It does look a lot like it. Well, I didn't see Book of Life, so I guess if you haven't seen Book of Life, you'll love Coco. Very great original screenplay. Really swept me away. But seriously, Dale, isn't it just Life of Pi without a tiger?

Isn't it a little bit like Ghost Dad and they're just rehashing it without Bill Cosby? Oh my God, it is. I don't know. All right. So, do you tell us anything about any of those movies or just when you saw them? I said good, okay, okay, good. Okay.

Jeff, what was the last movie you saw? Well, Doug, the first movie I saw in theaters was... How old were you? I think I was six months old. And Star Wars was sold out, so we saw something with Don Johnson. I don't know. My mom does not know how to pick movies. And anyway, it seemed a lot like Ghost Dad.

The last movie I saw was Star Wars The Last Jedi. Episode 8. You did it. How'd you get a ticket? Did you blow somebody? Nope. I went on Fandango a month ago. And I bought tickets. And so Fandango knows I bought those tickets. And then Fandango was still sending me alerts going,

are you going to see Last Jedi yet? Like, I just got one just before the show started. I was like, don't miss the Last Jedi. How do you not know? Oh, you're the guy from that Fandango commercial from ten years ago. The guy who tries to explain why Fandango can't get its own shit together?

Yeah. So I let that open-ended. Anyway, my wife left me because... My wife! My wife! I saw Last Jedi with Jeff last night, and I think we sort of agreed that for the next few episodes, maybe by the time we get to Sacramento, we can talk about it.

But it just feels like anything you say about it, I've gotten to a point where a movie like that that I'm looking forward to, if someone says it's great or someone says they're disappointed by it, whatever they say already starts to color my experience. And I'd rather just go and... I'd rather just go and do it

and then you know forge my opinions from there which is why I like film festivals so much these days because you just see shit you don't know what the hell is going to happen and next thing you know it's a movie about a lady that if she moves a spider is going to murder her and you're like I came into a movie

called Most Beautiful Island and I came into a movie called Most Beautiful Island and I'm watching a movie about a woman, if she moves an inch, a spider is going to kill her. It's intense shit. She didn't want to be there. But today I finished Mudbound on the Plane.

Mudbound on the Plane. Mudbound on the Plane. It's a Netflix movie. And if you're into racism, you'll probably dig it. And if you're anti-racism, it'll probably make you extremely upset. Yeah, it's very, very heavy. So something for everybody.

Yeah. All of Alabama can enjoy that movie. No, they're profiles, not racist. I lived in Alabama. I'm very confused at what we're saying they are. No, let's...

Let's not paint with such broad strokes. Let's recognize the just over half that aren't. Right. Right? Like, that fucking guy lost that election. 47 and point some percent would not enjoy that movie. Not all of them.

Alabama came through. Let's give them credit. Now get your shit together, Texas Rockin' Ted Cruz, motherfuckers Alright, can I talk about movies for a second? I have found over the years When I see a drama like Mudbound I admire it, I like the acting

And it's an interesting story, and certainly worth watching. But then I'll never revisit it, because when it comes to drama, if I'm going to watch one over again, there's got to be some moments of light and some fun parts, like Caddyshack. It's not a drama, but you know what I mean. But you know what I mean, like to me

the best dramas are the ones that also have lighter moments amongst the drama. Like even Sophie's Choice has like a laugh in it. I know a lot of you are sitting there thinking right now, Sophie's Choice is not funny. It's not funny at all. And I agree, it's like in the same areas like Sch now sophie's choice is not funny it's not funny at

all and i agree it's like in the same areas like schindler's list is clearly not funny at all uh amistad's not funny at all but color purple squeak is kind of funny but but it's sophie's choice I was thinking about this recently. It's so weird. At one point, Sophie mistakes the expression seersucker suit for another expression and says that another character looks good in his cocksucker suit. That's in Sophie's Choice.

So weird. My favorite scene is the one where she's like, this is such a difficult decision. I wish there was some sort of colloquial shorthand to describe to everyone how difficult this particular decision is, but there is not one. It's like some kind of

something. It's like a real Lorenzo's oil up in this motherfucker. Alright, so watch Mudbound. Jonathan Banks from Better Call Saul is in it, and he is not shy about dropping N-bombs, and it is

very upsetting. I like him so much on Better Call Saul. I mean, he's a great actor in this, too, but it's still... Yeesh. He just, like, hits it so hard right to the face of someone that he's calling that.

The director in the commentary is like, yeah, weird character choice. We just kind of ran with it. You're the one who's reading it like... No, the movie's about racism. I mean, you see him in a... Okay, so I shouldn't say anymore. It's part of his contract in small print.

It says, this was part of the script. This was part of the script. This was part of the script. And he just mugs the camera at the end of every episode. Literally. They had a screen in the plane, you know, a movie I could watch in the plane, like a bunch of choices. And I just turned a movie on and turned

without the sound on and had my headphones on watching Mudbound on Netflix. But I put on like fun movies. So I just look up every once in a while and go, okay. I just have to stare at this depressing movie. All right. Will, you know what's about to happen, right?

I think so. I'm going to ask you what you brought for the prize bag, and we already know the answer. Yep. Moving on. Dale. Dale, what do you got for the prize bag? I brought something.

I had a hard time choosing prizes. Yeah, but you didn't mind screwing them all over the stage. Yeah, yeah. Well, no, I don't care about these. I finally, like, a little down, I picked one of my Calvin and Hobbes books that I had when I was a kid. Well, hold on.

I really didn't want to give it away, and luckily someone showed up and said, hey, can you put this in the prize bag? And I was, swap. So this is a buddy's book that he just published called Death Packs and Left Hand Paths by John Wayne Communale. Hope I'm pronouncing

that right. And then a little Kylo Ren candy dispenser for the Star Wars. Taste the conflict within. And I stole that from my roommate, so thank you Kaysen.

Alright, so you told us about a thing that you're not giving anyone Yeah, I really like it I'm proud I'm keeping it It's in the green room Please, nobody go grab it What kind of candy's in here?

I don't know They're from the Force Awakens premiere That was the other one It might be a little stale Probably the Force Awakens premiere. That was the other one. It might be a little stale. Probably. I don't know how it works. I stole it from my roommate. It says, try me, push button.

Yeah, so it's like original packaging with the sticker on the front. Pretty rare. That's like what Star Wars toys are all about. Just the original. I thought it would say something, but I'm trying to force it.

I love you, Daddy. All right, what do you got, Jeff? I have a DVD copy of the remake of Total Recall that I accidentally purchased from a Redbox. I got two tickets to a show right here at the Secret Group on Friday, January 26th. It's me. Yeah.

I'll be doing stand-up somewhere in this area. Two. And, spoiler alert, this part's very fun. A copy of my new album. It comes out on January 12th in like a month, but I have some now.

And it's called People Are What People Make Them. Yeah. I got a new album. And so whoever wins a prize bag will be the first one to get them, and everyone else can buy them on the way out. Yeah. There you go.

How much are those going for For the people here tonight For tonight $10 Hot off the presses Isn't even out yet That's awesome Go see Jeff out there And see me Just out on the streets somewhere

Just waiting to have something Passed to me Or to pass something to someone. Let's make a pot connection. I think you were speaking in code, Donald. Did they broke your code yet? I'm watching half the crowd lean over to the other half of the crowd.

We gotta go outside after the show. Yeah, I think they do. They all have to go outside after the show. Oh yeah, there's that song about that. No, I was just doing a dramatic pause there before saying Burt, turn it off.

Let the games begin. We got lots of great name tags for you guys to choose from. So, gentlemen, start your boners. If you have me on a poster, I'll totally play for you. Pick your name tags. Was that one there when I asked earlier?

I don't remember that huge Kevin. We need to talk about Kevin poster. I couldn't like it on Twitter. All right. Anyway, we'll be right back. Hey, everybody. There are no sponsors in this episode, so I just wanted to say thank you for listening. Just wanted to say thank you for listening.

And if you're in the L.A. area on January 9th, be sure to get tickets for Getting Doug with High live at the Troubadour. Me and four, maybe five guests getting high on stage live in a rock club in West Hollywood, California. That's on January 9th. Go to douglasmovies.com for a link to buy tickets for that show and deets about all my other shows that are coming up. And I hope to see you all soon and back to the show. All right, we're back and we did it. We picked some name tags. Leonard's got one that I pointed out earlier in the show. Tell us about it. Leonard will Leonard. It's a Clint Eastwood, Dirty Jude. And he's holding a big gun. Why'd you pick it? Because he looks like Donald Cheeseman.

And when I sat down over there... Who's Donald Cheeseman? Sorry, Dale Cheeseman. Excuse me. Who's Donald Cheeseman? Who's that, Leonard Will? When I sat down, I was like, man, why is Dale sitting on the front row?

Because I'm a fan like you. I know, but I figured you'd be in the back, and then I realized it wasn't. I almost said something to him. Oh, that's the guy you said looks exactly like me. Wow, you're mean. I'm playing for him. Oh, Dirty Jude.

Okay. Duh. Sorry. I guess with my accent, I need to enunciate better. Jude, duh. It wasn't clear that you said D in there. I talk funny sometimes.

Alright, where are we? What's happening? Dale, who are you playing for? Playing for... Got a poster for Mike Leftfoot. Your name's Leftfoot? Mike. It's got me and Jeff Tate on it. And I saw this on Twitter this morning.

But I'm not allowed to reveal I was on the show, so I have to wait until after the show to like the shit out of that tweet. Let's Daniel Day do this. No matter what happens, he did find you. He's going to drink your milkshake.

All right. So, Jeff, what'd you find out there? I'm playing for Chris. Chris saves Dougmas. He made a poster from Ernest Saves Christmas. And put my face as all the ornaments, and you're on top trying to wrestle the tree to the ground. And Chris saves Dougmas.

And I'm a fan. I'm an earnest fellow myself. I'm a fan. Hey, Vern. Hey, Vern. What's up, Vern? Right. You guys remember his catchphrase.

Hey, over there, Vern. All right, that's who you guys are playing for in what is going to be a very interesting competition. I got a lot of tricky questions for you guys. Tricky games. There's a game that we only play on the show with the the guests that can actually do it and it's called build a title tonight will is gonna go first and then're going to go to Dale and then to Jeff, because I feel that's experience levels.

Suck on that, Will. Look at the glass half full. Are you ever in any of the plays at the Alley Theater? Do you ever have a walk-on? No. No, yeah. So he's not used to being on stage, so that's an extra level.

Just wait till after this, though. People start talking, you know? I'm looking at the next Hamlet, buddy. You got this. Would it be a bad taste for your theater to put on a brand new production of Harvey? What? What? What? He can play the invisible rabbit.

It's the part I was born to play. Alright, here we go. I'm going to say the name of a title of a movie. The name of a title of a movie. And then, Will, you have to build on it by using the

last syllable or the first syllable. You know how that works, right? You've been around long enough. All right, cool. The film we're going to start with, and a lot of people should be at it right now, is Star Wars Episode VIII, The Last Jedi. Wars Episode 8, The Last Jedi. So you need a movie that begins or ends with the word star or begins with Jedi or the last part of Jedi.

I, Robot. Star Wars Episode 8, The Last Jedi, Robot. I like that title better. All right, Dale, you got to come up with something that begins with robot or bot or ends with star. Robot and Frank. Star Wars, The Last Jedi, Robot and Frank. That is a movie. Did you think I said Robot and Frank?

Which should also be a movie. Can you imagine? Like if Anne Frank were a robot, she probably could have just powered down and got through the whole situation. You know, just wake up every once in a while and go, beep, boop, beep, boop. All right, so Jeff, you need something that begins with Frank or, I'm sorry, yeah, begins with Frank or ends I'm sorry yeah because of Frank or ends with star I've got one for Frank I got one first our rock star rock star wars yes episode 8 the last Jedi for Rockstar. Rockstar Wars. Episode 8, The Last Jedi, Robot, and Frank.

Yeah. So now we need something, Will, that ends with Rock or begins with Frank. Rockstar, Last Jedi, Robot, and Frank and Weenie. Oh!

Frank and Weenie. Rock Star Wars, The Last Jedi, Robot, and Frank and Weenie need to talk about Kevin. I know you gave me a high five, but we are enemies right now. But I appreciate it. You're adorable. We need to talk about young Kevin Stein. All right, Jeff.

This ends in rock or begins with Kevin. Kevin, comma, we need to talk about. Kevin J. Israel Esquire. That's not a worse title. In the Valley of the Dolls. We need to talk about Kevin, the Valley of the Dolls. We need to talk about Kevin, the Valley of the Dolls. Is that movie just called Valley of the Dolls?

In the Heat of the Night. All right, so Will, begins with night or ends with rock? School of rock. Yes! You're not going to say the rest. I was going to go Thor Ragnarok. Whoa! That would have been me. It would have been Will. Would have been.

Will. All right. What movie ends in Thor? That's why it was a good play. Yeah, school. Back to school of rock, the rest of it. Okay, so you need something that ends in back or begins with night, Jeff. Night of the Valley of...

No, night of the Creeps. Oh, that's going to be a stopper. Begins with Creeps or ends with back Star Wars the Empire Strikes Back the school of rock Star Wars American Gangstar

whatever that's the one that's about outcast that's the one that's about OutKast That's the one that's about OutKast I've seen it Okay so Dale is out Damn it Jeff

Begins with creeps Eeps Have you heard about Kevin? Begins with creeps. Eeps. Psst. Have you heard about Kevin? Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst.

Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst.

Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst.

Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst.

Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst.

Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst.

Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst.

Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst.

Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst.

Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst.

Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst't just say Rockstar again. Okay. Oh, I wish Popstar didn't have that subtitle. Yeah, it had all those extra poppin', stoppin', poppin' words. There's people in the audience that have... I have no idea what you did I just said what I had already thought of Is there a movie called Dark Star?

Don't say it audience Now Jeff You know how I like to play You can't pull a Graham Elwood And guess that a movie exists Just based on hearsay Starring Leif Garrett Yeah

You gotta know that it exists a movie exists just based on hearsay? Starring Leif Garrett. Yeah. You gotta know that it exists. What's Darkstar? I'm not asking you guys. I don't know it. I'm out. Oh! There's plenty more games to come, you guys. But that was a good answer, Darkstar.

But please don't say that. guys. That was, but that was a good answer, Darkstar, but please don't, please don't say that good answers from the audience. If you can stop yourselves, that'd be great. But definitely knock over more bottles because that does not affect the outcome of the game. That's how controversial that was.

Yeah. And so that means that Will won that Alright You got it Nothing to moan about there That's very exciting We'll see if Will can keep up the momentum

To take down Jeff here on Night 3 of Take Crazy Nights. And also, I'm here. This is obvious bias, both on stage and off. He made up a movie and y'all awed that he got kicked out. I got cut out because of an A.E. pronunciation technicality. And y'all said nothing. But Darkstar

is a movie. Dirkstar is not. Alright, so... It's exaggerating for comedic effect. We know what happened. American Gang Star Wars. It's right there. Alright, so which way were we going in that last game?

We're going that way. Will to Jeff. So, what? Oh, yeah, okay. This way. So we're going to go the other way. Wait. What?

Will to Jeff, this way. Yeah, so we're going to go the other way. Yeah. So we're going to go Will to Jeff. I see what I did. That's confusing. We were going from me to Dale. Yeah, okay, so we're going to go

Will, Jeff, Dale. We're going to play Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? It's just for the people on stage. I'm going to say a tagline and I will call on each of you individually. You get to go in turn, so if somebody gets it before the others, the others

can suck it. Or I should phrase that better, too bad for everyone else. Will, what movie has the tagline, and the other two guys will have a chance at it if you don't get it right, but what movie has the tagline

The Adventure Continues. Remo Williams' The Adventure Begins. That would be a really weird tagline, but stranger things can happen. Jeff.

The Adventure Continues. Really weird tagline, but stranger things can happen. Jeff. Jeff. The adventure continues. The Lord of the Rings The Two Towers. Oh. I like that guess. Dale. Jumanji, Welcome to the Jungle.

I don't know why you did the hands thing to get a reaction. I thought my confidence could trick you into saying it was right. Have you seen the trailer for that movie? Yeah, it's a piece of shit. But it's got the rock. What part of that trailer gave you the impression that it was a continuing storyline? The fact that I grew up with the first one.

There's nothing about the I'm not going to see that movie, but I'm just I took a wild guess. Okay. I didn't know it was a wild guess. That's the thing about G-Mod. I thought you thought it might be an accurate guess And it's not I guess the adventure continues But not really

That's how America feels about it We'll see I had a guest on last night that was shitting all over And I don't know, I think it looks fun But it probably is terrible The Rock is an amazing actor He can successfully make you think he can And cannot fly a helicopter.

Multifaceted. Yeah, I want to see Welcome to the Jungle to see if a helicopter's coming to play at all. He doesn't even know what one is in that one. What's that? I've never seen one. And remember, in Jumanji, The Rock is playing a nerd who has a lot of muscles now because he's the Rock. That's what I was saying to this guy last night, is it's fun that Jack Black and Kevin Hart and The Rock and Karen Gillan all get to play characters who they're inside the body of some person

that's not like themselves. Right, that's comedy. So there's like, well, there's more going on there than Jumanji where they're just like, oh shit, a rhinoceros. But no one's going to a Jumanji movie to're just like, oh shit, a rhinoceros. But no one's going to a Jumanji movie to see what stretches the actors are taking.

You know what? Maybe they in fact will. I'll bet you anything it'll make more money than the first Jumanji. You know what? You bring me back on this show next year and we'll talk about it. That's how you get a future book. That is how you do it. Any controversy has got to bring me back.

That is how you do it. All right. The Adventure Continues was the tagline for Star Wars Episode V, The Empire Strikes Back. Well. Y'all started to clap like it was the new one. You're like, ah ah the old one never mind Will we'll start with you again What movie

Begins Has the tagline The saga continues Star Wars episode 1 Phantom Menace Nope Jeff Star Wars episode 7 The Force Awakens Nope

Dale Did you say episode 2 Episode 7, The Force Awakens. Nope. Dale? Did you say Episode 2? Are you saying Episode 2? I said Episode 1. 1? Oh. All right, then I'll go Star Wars Attack of the Clones.

Nope. The answer is Star Wars Episode VI, Return of the Jedi. Alright, we'll start with you, Will. What movie has the tagline, The Saga is Complete? Son of a bitch. Could you repeat the clue? The saga is complete. Could you use it in a sentence?

Oh my God. The saga is complete. The saga is complete. Star Wars Rogue One? No, sorry. Jeff? Star Wars Episode III, Revenge of the Sith. That is correct! That is correct!

I wrote it down wrong, though. I wrote Revenge of the Spliff. What a hilarious mistake. Speaking of that, you're up next, Dale. He's going to read a German tagline. Fuck. Dale, what movie has a tagline? Somewhere in space...

This could all be happening right now. Somewhere in space, this could all be happening right now. That's not a tagline. That's what some stoner says after a Star Wars movie. You know what's crazy about this movie, dude? Could be happening. Could be happening right now. Up there? We don't know.

All right. Somewhere up in space. That can't be. Fuck. Star Trek? No. None of that shit. Is that your answer? No, Star Wars, The Last Jedi or whatever.

No. A sense of theme, but... Well, Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 4. Or Volume 2. You're getting ahead of yourself but I like the sound of it I'm really good at writing taglines even James Gunn says there's only going to be three but I would

love it Jeff Star Wars Episode 4 A New Hope that is correct Jeff? Star Wars. Episode 4, A New Hope. That is correct! That is correct! Sounds like a first draft. Alright, so Jeff wins this game, but

I just want to play one more that was here for a tiebreaker, just for the fun of it. Dale, what movie... What movie has the tagline, The Fest That Ends Up On The Floor? The Fest That Ends Up On The Floor? Yeah, Beer Fest. Beer Fest?

No. No, here's the actual tagline. All heroes start somewhere. Star Wars The Force Awakens? Nope. Will? Star Wars Rogue One? Nope. Will? Star Wars Rogue One? Nope.

Jeff? Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menace. Nope. Guardians of the Galaxy. The baby switch. I'm glad you guys like it. Episode 20. Oh, this is a good time.

All right, so we're doing great. We're right on schedule. Did anybody... There's some donuts over there. Am I right? Yeah. Jeff, since you won that last game, would you like to throw a donut?

I'll look at them. I like this space. Jeff, since you won that last game, would you like to throw a donut? I'll look at them. I like this space. It's bigger side to side than deep, so you can pretty much hit anything with a donut. What kind of donuts are you got there, dude? It's hard to open. They're called Shipleys? What, do they sell them over there in the convention center?

Toot toot! Man, these look good. I don't really want to throw these. Hey, I'll throw one. I'll throw one. Can I have a donut? What the fuck? Eat it. Eat it. Oh, you actually got a good box of chip.

Can I take a bite and throw it like a grenade? It's got sprinkles and paint icing. Oh, that is good. That's good. Where's that big Kevin sign? Oh, it's up here. No, it isn't. There it is, there it is.

Hey, Tilda, you got something on your face. What are you talking about? It's not a pull-up. Oh, that was good. Are we all throwing them or do I just have to hold this now? Just make sure the sticky side hits. I have a Jar Jar that we can give out.

Do you throw at? There's no way I could have done that on purpose. That's so great that that happened. That's like my Instagram videos where I throw shit into garbage cans. Like, I have to try a bunch of times. Here we go. Here we go. Oh!

You got it. I don't know if y'all can tell, these are Nikes. I'm pretty good at what I do. You put that right in her hands. Are you sharing it with people? Wow, that is not how you eat a donut. This is like that story in the Bible where Jesus only had enough donuts for a couple people.

Let's just turn the restroom into wine. Be easier to share. All right, let's decide who our winner is tonight with an exciting round of Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game. Jeff won that last one, but now it's anybody's chance. I got to write Will's name in here. He's a write-in vote. And we'll start with Jeff, and then we'll

go to Dale, and then we'll go to Will. Each of you will get a chance to go first in this game, but only once. I'll name an actor or actress. You've got to try to guess what movie of theirs is in, hopefully, the number one

movie at the box office from their career, according to Box Office Mojo, after adjusting for inflation. You ready, Jeff? Yeah. And I apologize for the other players, but to the other players, not for them. Because first up on this list, Jeff,

the films of Andy Serkis. I'm so bitch. Which one do you think is number one or even one that might be in the top three? You got this. Yes, I know. For the audience at home, Jeff stood up.

He's on his thinking feed. Yeah. I had to put on my thinking shoes I'm going to say fuck I'm going to say The Lord of the Rings The third one The Return of the King

Okay That's what that is right I'll also say Damn I'll also say... Dale. Lord of the Rings, Two Towers? All right, he was in that. Cool. People like that answer.

Will? Oh, Sandy, sorry, guys. return return to the battle there to the planet of the apes do you want to say a movie that actually exists battle for the planet of apes the last Planet of the Apes movie. I cannot remember what the stupid first descriptive word is to tell you what you're doing on the Planet of the Apes,

so he's just going to ramble on and hopefully it'll come, but it will not. So I'll say Lord of the Rings. Oh, shit. Because I know that one. Lord of the Rings Because I know that one Lord of the Rings Lord of the Rings what?

Fellowship of the Ring Okay Alright so We got all three of those right? Is that what just happened? Alright Coming in at number three For the great Andy Serkis

And his motion capture magic Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers. So that's two points for Dale, right? Not two, I guess, guys. Come on. What the hell are y'all doing? All right, I'll just give him one. Coming in at number two. Selling me out.

Number two, brah. Number two, brah, is Lord of the Rings Return of the King. Slats two for Jack. That's what I said. What? That's the one I said. I forgot which one I said because they all sound the same. That is the one I said. I forgot which one I said because they all sound the same.

That is the one you said, I'm pretty sure. And then, commentator number one, Will! No way I made more money. Star Wars, The Force Awakens.

Huh? All right. That was fun. So Jeff has two and Dale has one. And Dale gets to go first this round. Dale, the films of Daisy Ridley. The films of Daisy Ridley. Is deferring an option? You could pass, yes.

Does it come back to me? No. Okay. Do I get a lifeline? Oh, you know what? I wouldn't mind if it came back to you, because I don't know what good that would do you. Let me show you pass

to come back. Alright. Okay, so that's what he's doing. He's passing. No lifelines. Sorry. I like your confidence, though. Will? Star Wars The Force Awakens okay Jeff are the numbers in for murder

on the Orient Express okay now we're back to Dale. How did that help you, Dale, that the two known movies in... Star Wars, The Last Jedi, if you have the current numbers. I don't know. The numbers aren't that high. There were two sold-out shows last night, so it's got to be doing pretty good. All right, coming in at number three, she's in something called The Eagle Huntress.

Damn it. Yeah, number two, Murder on the Orient Express. Murder on the Orient Express. And of course, her number one movie is Star Wars, The Force Awakens. So Jeff has four, Will has three, and Dale has...

Say it with me, guys. Less than two. One. Yeah, I was going to say you have less than the other players. Yeah, I was going to say you have less than the other players. No reason to rub it in, but you still have very little chance of making a comeback. Comebacks aren't exciting unless you start down. This is all for suspense. Don't worry.

This would be a massive comeback if you pull it off. I'm going to Paul Walker this. We'll see how you do. Yeah, I don't understand that at all. What exactly are you referencing there? What did Paul Walker do? He got better throughout the series, like as a character, as a person, as an actor, and I'm also sad about it, guys.

That was really what you were referring to, his growth as an actor over the course of seven fast and furious movies? I'm talking about actors in movies on a movie podcast throwing daisy something at me, I don't know. I just want to belong, guys. The star of the biggest movie of the weekend that you saw yesterday?

Yeah. Doug likes to throw some real fucking obscure ones at you. I'm just excited about how you say obscure. I learned from that hey Jew thing earlier to enunciate. Remember to enunciate. Pronunciate. Dale.

The films. You got to go first this time, right? I went first last time. Okay. Will. Will. go first this time right I went first last time okay I do that well really it goes will and then Jeff and then Dale check you know I mean Dale you're your underdog status just went to you're not

a dog at all this is all this is all just building tension. Just wait. That's not what this is. This is a stoned game show host. Trying to figure shit out. Jeff and I are going to take a dive. Dale, the films

of Oscar Isaac. Will, the films of Oscar Isaac. Will the Films of Oscar Isaac. Yes, Will, Will. Sorry, Will. Didn't mean to rub it in, Dale. Will, Oscar Isaac. I'm going to stick with Star Wars, The Force Awakens. No, he was in that Coen Brothers movie.

You're right, he was. I'm just saying. You've never been on the show. I have. It's Jeff Stern. I'm just saying. You've never been on the show. I have. It's Jeff's turn. It's Jeff's turn. I would take either of those if I were you. Jeff.

Ex Machina. Will. Dale. Dale. No, Dale, what do you think? I guess Inside Llewyn Davis. Are you fucking kidding me? I already know what the winner is.

You think that movie made money? I worked at a theater at the time when it was out, so to me it seemed like it made a lot of money. I saw a lot of people see it. Yeah, you were working at $100. You were working at an art house, not a... Oh, for sure. Yeah.

All right, so let's break it down. Coming in at number three, The Bourne Legacy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. Number two. Matt Damon.

Yes, I said it all. You just did. Yeah, you did it off mic, but you did Matt Damon from that puppet movie. Not Air America. This is Matt Damon from that puppet movie. Not Air America. Team America, wolf support, what? World police. I thought somebody yelled out, wolf support.

World police. Team America, world police. It's even funnier now that Matt Damon says stupid shit about women because because in that movie

it's so it's just so funny it's not his actual voice it's not? no no it's what's his name the creator but

Ben Affleck yes it's Ben Affleck going Matt Damon somebody should do a Some sort of mashup of him Saying that stuff about

Hey what's the difference There's a big difference Between a pat Matt Damon just came out And said there's a big difference Between a pat on the butt And rape And

He's not wrong There's a super big difference between them but they're both but they're both wrong so it's still weird to even put them like or one is way less wrong than the other but it's weird to it's just weird the way you said it there's a big difference between robbing a bank and murdering everyone you see yes there is but that first one is really terrible. Yeah, it's still bad. Right? Women don't want their butts touched just because they're not getting raped.

They're not standing around going, hey, if you're going to give me a choice, if you're going to give me a choice, go ahead and ram your fist up my butt because I do not want your penis in there. So the only

way you can touch a butt is to ram the fist into it? You have to ask first and not be Louis C.K. Because that was his first line of defense. I asked first. Holy shit.

You could ask people anything? I had no idea. Well, it's really easy when you don't wait for the answer. Hey, you mind if I jag off? Hey, can I jag off in front of you like I'm currently doing? You mind if I don't stop? Hey, you don't need to stand, do you? Because I do.

Alright. That's enough of that, you guys. We're cutting all of that. That is just for... That's for Houston ears only. So what the audience at home just heard was beep the whole time. Oh my god, that'd be

great. Oh man, if we could beep some stuff out, could I go through and make a list? There's a lot of things I said I wouldn't. People are already flipping out over, like, the other night we had a bleep that had something to do with Sam Levine. I don't even know what happened

but don't worry about it. Oscar Isaac. Number three. You guys told me you weren't in a hurry to leave. Seamless edit.

Professional host. For the listener, I sat that conversation out for career reasons. Me too. Number two. Let's go through and recap what you guys said. What'd you say, Will? I said Force Awakens. What'd you say?

Will, you said Force Awakens. Yes. Dale said, don't worry about it. Jeff. Jeff said, which one? That's an ex-mock, you it. Jeff. Jeff's, uh, which one? That's an ex-mock, you know. Okay. Coming in at number two.

Ex. Men. Men apocalypse. See, I knew that I had to reset that up to get that reaction. Number one. Ex Machina. That would be so weird.

That was a good movie. Pretty popular. But it's up against Star Wars. And that is the number one movie, Star Wars, The Force Awakens. So Will ran away with this thing with six points. Will is our winner tonight. I didn't like it. I have to ask you, Will,

before we give away the prizes. Yes, Doug, I can come to Dallas tomorrow night. That's exactly what I was going to ask you. Will is coming to Dallas tomorrow. Rematch! All right. Cool. Yeah. What are you doing on your phone, Jeff?

Texting people about Will Oh amazing win tonight let's try to figure out who Oscar Isaac was it's a guy from inside Lewin Davis he's poe dameron dude yeah I know I mean there was I mean once he once he once you don't go first on the ones, the people who are in that. But you, not to interrupt your short circuiting, but. Number five is alive. I'm so glad you did, though. I don't know what was going to happen.

I was not happen I was not I was trying so hard to get back on track have you seen those like clips of news reporters having a mild stroke where they like that's exactly what you just did but you knew ex machina

so you clearly know who Oscar Isaac is yeah yeah I was just looking to see. You were just looking to see some of his other stuff. He's in Sucker Punch and My Most Violent Year. Yeah. He's a great actor. He's a great actor. I like him a lot.

But where's Jude at? There you are. Hey, dude. I can't believe I didn't notice you sitting there looking like Dale. But congratulations, dude. I hate you now. Give his poster back, too, for future reference. You going to drive to Dallas tomorrow?

No, he's not. You're from Louisiana? And you came here for this? That's so sweet of you. Are you close to New Orleans? A couple hours. And then how far to here? Four.

Four hours. I was in the place that's two hours away two weeks ago. Okay. Alright. Okay, I'll be back in March. There. But I'll probably come here too too, if you like the four-hour drive.

I'm not going to yell at you for driving four hours. But I think I just did, kind of. Thank you, Doug. Thank you, Jude. And thank you, Will. Congratulations. We'll see you in Dallas. Will, do you have anything to plug? Do you have anything to promote? I would say come see live local theater,

whether it be here in Houston or any town that you're listening to this to, whether it be theater, theater stand up comedy, any live show go see live shows and if you're in Houston come to the Alley Theater downtown, we're back home

and applause applause applause great job dude Dale Cheeseman, what do you got coming up? What do you got to plug? We're doing a Christmas show,

the Whiskey Brothers Christmas show here on the 22nd. Woo-hoo! Yeah. That sold four tickets. And then I'll be in Austin at Austin Java on January 19th headlining one night very cool

you might have to just do a match up tomorrow the three of you again just head to head to head again I got something so I said we might I didn't say to head again. I got something, so. I said we might. I didn't say for jerseys. If you'll split gas money, I'll drive.

Jeff, what do you have to plug? The rest of Take Crazy Nights continuing Sunday night in San Antonio? Five more. Yeah. Take Crazy Nights. I'm going to win the next five in San Antonio. Five more. Yeah. Take Crazy Nights. I'm going to win the next five in a row. Yeah.

Right? We're going to get this back on track. You're two and one. You're not having a bad series so far. No, two and one. Two and one. Yeah. I will be at Go Bananas in Cincinnati, Ohio, January 4th through the 7th. I will be right Go Bananas in Cincinnati, Ohio, January 4th through the 7th. I will be right back here in Houston at the Secret Group January 26th.

I'll be in for those two over there. I'll be and everyone else in Louisiana. I'll be in Lafayette, Louisiana, January 27th. And then Baton Rouge, January 28th. These are in 2018. And then Baton Rouge, January 28th. These are in 2018. I got an album coming out January 12th on iTunes called People Are What People Make Them.

I'll be over there selling them to the people who are at this show. Ten bucks, ten bucks. Ten dollars. And I'm on Instagram at Jeff Tate. It's just my name. Ooh. And his albums are 20 bucks

if you don't have a 10 on you. He does not make change. I don't have any money. I did it wrong again. You're supposed to close it first. It's weird that I don't know about gun safety. Well, this is Texas. This is the first they've heard of gun safety. That's why I'd never kill myself,

because that's how it would go. What? No, no, no. Oh. Alright. Thank you to Jeff Tate Dale Cheeseman thank you to the secret group for having us thank you guys for coming out instead instead of seeing Star Wars. Don't forget San Diego and Irvine. I'm doing shows during the holiday, Tate. And as always, ugly Christmas sweaters are a shithead. Okay.

And this one, I get what you're saying, but it's rough. So get that end theme music ready. A pretty Christmassy song sung by Garfunkel and Oates. If he's still Roy Moore's Jew lawyer. Right? I mean, I get what they're saying. That is a shithead move to be Jewish and Roy Moore's

lawyer. But Roy Moore's Jew lawyer is a shithead. Right? Now it's time for Ben to rock and not hurt Talk me out of the hole To you now it's decent Talk me there's no room Make it hard for you Cause I'm close to the end