Doug Loves Movies - Zach Galifianakis, Rachael Harris, Jeff Garlin, and Robbie Pickering Guest

Episode Date: March 8, 2012

Doug welcomes fan-favorites Zach Galifianakis and Jeff Garlin, along with the star and director of "Natural Selection," Rachael Harris and Robbie Pickering. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, sweet and baby-sick. He sees with 50 as a pop or Colonel did his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see. Those Doug Loves Movies! Hey everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from the UCB Theater in LA on Tuesday, March 6th, 2 Oceans 12. The prize bag is a bag from Gold's Gym.

So when I came out and set it down, I heard someone in the front row, possibly Jordan, mutter to the person next to him, He works out? I've got three or four great guests coming. That will be out here in a moment. But first, some business. Since last I spoke, you listened. I did a super fun show at the Ontario California Improv. Lee from the audience was an awesome Leonard Maltin game player against Brendan Walsh.

She took it down and won some prizes. And if you want to play the Leonard Maltin game on stage, come to any of my shows. And all the tour dates are at DouglasMovies.com. I also had a blast at the first ever lead up and they gave me an amazing gift bag, most of the contents of which I'll be giving away as prizes over the next few months. Tonight, this is pretty amazing,

but also I just kind of go, I don't have the energy for this. A pizza cutter in the shape of the USS Enterprise. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty neat. I'll even take it out and show it to you. The pizza cutter. You guys sitting right there got all excited.

You gotta show us. Oh, it's taking too long. What a waste of podcasting time. We listen to Doug take a pizza cutter out of a box. So. So In your face I was going to try to say pizza face

And I just said in your face Because that Spock is a pizza face Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. Past and future guests, Chelsea Peretti tweeted, in all caps, When Eddie Murphy talks, leaves fall off a tree? Now this I gotta see. This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. For those who care, the other movie in the now-retired

Darcy Blows category in the Leonard Mullen game was Brown Bunny from 2003. And yeah, I know Gwyneth Paltrow died in Seven. That was an obvious one, so that's why it wasn't in Gwyneth Paltrow category. But people write to me about it like I didn't know that she died in Seven. That's what that movie's about. Now it's time for Watch This, Not That.

The number one movie in the country is Dr. Seuss' The Lorax, which I look forward to sleeping through someday on a plane. And the number two movie is project x which i saw on saturday and while i was watching it i was worried that i would get arrested like it was a giant chris Hansen sting operation.

Which is a lot more exciting than the Lorax saving the environment, so watch Project X, not the Lorax. This has been Watch This, Not That. The prize bag, amazing prize bag, in addition to a pizza cutter that's like the Enterprise, we've got tons of stuff, including just hot off the presses

and available at astrecords.com and douglovesmovies.com the brand new Doug Loves Movies T-shirt. This is the first one that anyone will own. And I don't know how much they cost, but go and find out and decide for yourself what you want to do.

If you want to give the money to charity instead, I recommend that. Doug Betts of Professional Humor Eden is in here. Another Weezer CD. This one is Weezer Live in somewhere else. I think it was Dana Point, California, or Antarctica or somewhere. Some of the guests brought in some awesome DVDs.

The film The Sweet Hereafter is in here. And 35 Shots of Rum, which I have not seen, but that's an intriguing title. Marwen Call is an excellent documentary that I haven't seen yet, but that's what I've been told, because it's very good. It was popular at South by Southwest last year.

Macon County Line. I think the guest picked this up for just a couple of dollars. But, you know, I appreciate them bringing anything. I mean, I will accept if a guest wants to bring the latest Hustler magazine. That's okay. There's also a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. that's okay. There's also a pack of Marlboro cigarettes.

And there's a Cadbury egg. And he also signed this movie that he happens to be in called Up in the Air. So that'll be in there. And also, another gentleman brought this book. And it's called My Footprint. Please welcome to the stage Robbie Pickering, Rachel Harris, Jeff Garland, and Zach Galifianakis. Hey. Are you not going to use the mic tonight? Zach's going to wait.

I'm going to use it. He's going to use it, but he's going to lean into it and go unheard. Hello, UCB. Hi. I'm going to introduce, before the gentleman on the end gets going, I just want to, I just want to introduce

a filmmaker, and Rachel Harris, you guys probably know her from Best Week Ever and I Love the Whatever Decade and her work in The Hangover are you familiar with that film Zach? I totally forgot you were in it

you guys have a lot of scenes together we had one minor scene together that wasn't very effective. Why wasn't it effective? I'm teasing. Oh, okay. But you're in this film that Robbie Pickering...

Am I pronouncing that right? Yeah. Okay, good. It's Robbie. Classic Jimmy Pardo. Rachel stars in the movie that he directed called Natural Selection

and if you listen to the podcast I've been talking about it for a year now because I saw it last year at this very time at South by Southwest I'm going again

this weekend you saw it at 10.45am on a Sunday but it was daylight savings so it was 9.45am yeah yeah Stoner managed to make it to the movie

and I'm a fan of this podcast. We were honored. And you came up to both of us, and I was really excited. I love that that was exciting to you. It was. Because then the movie went on to win Best Movie of South by Southwest, right?

Best Dramatic... Jury Prize, Audience Award. Jury Prize, Audience Award. And then she won Best Actress. Rachel won a Best Actress thing that they don't even give out every year, right? That was like a special thing. Best screenplay and best actress. Yeah, and it's great. And my friend Sarah Silverman

saw it and she also loved it. We've both been raving about it to everybody. But when can people finally see it? The movie's coming out March 16th in New York at the Angelica. So we're going up there in a couple weeks. And then it opens in New York at the Angelica. So we're going up there in a couple weeks. And then it opens in New York and Philadelphia first and then it goes in a bunch of other cities. And it's here in May at the New Art. Nice. Yeah, I'll be here for at least a week

at the New Art. Yeah, at least hopefully longer if people come. Well, New Art when it's done with the week, if it's doing well, it usually moves to another screen somewhere, Arclight or wherever. Jeff Garland saw it. Yes, I did. Throw in your Hardy endorsement.

I was counting on you. I don't have a Hardy endorsement. I hated it. I've never hated a movie more in my life. The only thing that movie needed more was the Olsen twins. That's all that movie needed. And you expect me to say I'm kidding now.

But I've never been more. Rachel was horrible. Rachel was, you played a little pretty mute girl. And I'm not saying that. It was really great, yeah. No, it was great.

That would be fun to run that whole quote in the ads. By the way, you run that whole quote, my mom's going to go. Yeah, because you're going to see Jeff Garlin's involved. I'm going to go. I'm sure Zach's fired up to see it now.

Yes, the new art next week is when you see it? Next week at the new art. Is Smokey and the Bandit still going to be there? Now, see, now, if you guys could have pulled... Now, let's just... I'm going to go literal with that. If you guys could have pulled your muscle and been on a double feature with Smokey and the Bandit,

a lot more people would see that movie. With Smokey and the Bandit? With Smokey and the Bandit. People love... People love... Sally Field. They love Sally Field and Burt Reynolds together in particular. That was a very, very sexy couple.

He's ruining any chance of anybody going to see this movie. I'm ruining it? Yes. They're very similar themes. They're not at all. I don't think people trust anything that Jeff Garlin says. I think you're in good shape. Someone odd, but no. Tell them the truth. Tell them what you said backstage

Come on He's my friend I did tell them the truth You really can't force Jeff into doing anything It was wonderful Rachel Harris was fucking amazing That's all I wanted Thank God for editing equipment What's that? fucking amazing that's all I wanted

thank God for editing equipment what's that I'm gonna take all that stuff you said that was bad out we'll just go right from Jeff give us his ringing endorsement and then you say Rachel's fucking amazing but then you'll miss the show move on his doing the light touch with the new art next week and you'll miss a Smokey and the Bandit reference. I don't care if you take my bonus Smokey and the Bandit but what he did with it was subtle and perfect. I only took what

he did, explored and heightened it. You can cut that all you want but don't cut this man. Do not cut this man. Do not cut Zach's fine work I love you Zach's work is wonderful

why do you have on written so hangover three that was a really good movie extremely close oh yeah yeah that was a reference to that I drew no on my hand for the listeners is that part of the movie

yeah he has no end yes but there's no reason to write yes on my hand for the listeners. Is that part of the movie? Yeah. He has no N yes, but there's no reason to write yes on my hand when you're a guest. All I need is no. But Zach, tell us, in Hangover 3, is it true that your character dies? Yes, he won't be in Hangover 3. That's how it starts

Is there mourning the death of your character Oh Alan One day of a casket scene By the way they did that on My Boys The TV show My Boys Jim Gaffigan's character I believe he died At the beginning No no no he moved out of town

Oh I thought he died My character bought a spouse on My Boys. She was on it. I was a female Jim Gaffigan. They were like, who's as white as Jim Gaffigan? And female. Let's bring Rachel Higgins. Well, she's an obvious replacement.

Did you know that the cast of My Boys is starring in Hangover 3? They just cut that deal today. Yes, because they knew Zach was coming. Oh, yes. and hangover three they just cut that deal today yes for the news that yes these are more my boys reference okay Zach what's happening with g-force 2 what's going on with that all of the hamsters gonna be back for this we made that one already so real excited about that too will be at the new art all right we've run out of time to ask about Corky Romano too, so I'll move on.

That one's not coming through. That one's not going to happen. Catan's busy. Jeff, you've been underground. How's it going? How is being underground working out for you? Great. It's been great, yeah.

I've come up for a couple weeks and then I'm going back under. No, actually I'm going on tour with Guster. I am. See, no one's going to believe anything you say from now on. I am going on tour with Guster. Go to Guster.com or JeffGarland.com for dates. Seriously.

It's a Midwestern tour. And then in the Northeast. Is Guster like a... A band? Okay, I didn't know what it was. My mother... It looked like you were cooking. My mother...

Is Guster a frying pan user? My mother My son They make Jiffy Pop ever? Sounds like what people in Kansas call Thunderstorm Oh shit it's a Guster Oh shit Jeff Garland's a Guster of words

If that's the meaning, then yes, I am. My son told my mother that the name of the band is Duster. And so she's going, when are you leaving with Duster? And I just am enjoying that. I refuse to correct her. Because it's so much crazier a word than guster. What kind of lunatic. They're just enjoying Duster, that's all.

You do like fun words. That's part of your thing. Yes. Do you have any cinematic things on the horizon? A movie called Paranorman. We talked about that last time. It looks terrific. And I'm actually in the new trailer.

Oh, you're in it. Yeah, the other trailer you saw me, but you didn't hear me. You hear me in the new trailer. It's very exciting. It's animated. That's why you say here. What's your character? I play Paranorman's father. I don't know my name. I don't know my last name. I am Paranorman's father

and I have recorded, I believe, all I'm going to record. It's a fun part. It's exciting. What do you say in the trailer? Jism. No, you don't. what do you say in the trailer jism no you don't i do it's the it's the red band trailer i say jism over and over and over again i'm sorry i don't know what i say i forgot i don't know my part it's I forgot. I don't know my part.

It's all good. You were excited that you speak in the trailer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It must have been something like, get down here and do your homework. I'm pretty close. What the hell is that kid doing? That type of stuff.

Yeah, yeah. I'm big in the voice world. I'm wearing my Toy Story 3 jacket. It's the only one I wear because no one knows except for this little thing that says 3. Because I generally, you know, like I have a WALL-E jacket that fucking says WALL-E everywhere.

And if I wear that, I'm just an idiot. There were years where Zach wouldn't show up anywhere without his Bubble Boy jacket on. And I was like, someday, man, you're going to look back on this. You should be proud of your work and wear and advertise what you've been in. At all times. So what is this outfit? Is this what you wore in Bad Teacher?

Was that it? Were you in that? Did you just ask me if you were in that? I don't know. Is that one of mine um shall we play a game or two was i supposed to promote something now or is that later uh there's a part at the end where i say do you have any plugs but we can do it now i think guster.com is good enough have any plugs, but we can do it now.

I think Guster.com is good enough. No, no, no, no, no. No, it was a thing that I worked out. It's already been nailed. No, it's not like a big deal thing. It's a... I'm interviewing Sarah Vowell next week at Largo, and there's lots of tickets left.

So slam he said. What day is it? Tuesday? It's the 13th Tuesday the 13th Tuesday the 13th at Largo If you like Sarah Vowell It'll be fun Yeah and there's not going to be a Doug Loves Movies here

Next Tuesday I'll be back in two weeks Everyone should just go do that No matter how little money you have right now And the money goes to charity Give it to the charity What charity is it? Whatever Sarah Vowell decides.

Oh, okay. That's what I do. Whoever my guest is, whatever the charity is. I heard she runs a charity for consonants. That's good. I'm sorry for interrupting

the game, though. That wasn't a big push, you know. No, but that's, I think that would be interesting to watch the two of you talk to each other. She's a great cartoon voice as well. She plays the daughter in The Incredibles.

One of my favorite movies of any kind of all time. We'll reminisce about our Pixar days. Now you're trying to talk people out of coming. I would never. Remember that time with the water cooler? When I was doing WALL-E and you did your movie

several years earlier? Let's play build a title. Low stakes. Winner just gets to go first in the Leonard Maltin game. And since today is Super Tuesday, we're going to start with Spider-Man. Tuesday, we're going to start with Spider-Man.

So, Robbie knows how to play, right, Robbie? Alright, you can start us off then. We'll go to Jeff and then to Zach and then to Rachel. Spider-Man Hunter. Love it. Spider-Man Hunter. Yeah. So now,

Jeff, you need a movie that begins with hunter oh or ends in spider okay hands with hunter hunter hunter that'd be hunter comma jizz and I don't think that's listed in most Leonard Maltin. Hunter Killer. Okay, you're out. Great idea for a movie, though. I'm going to find them and then I'm going to kill them. No, I just like the idea of someone out there killing hunters. What do you want from me? Oh, I see what you kill them. No, I just like the idea of someone out there killing hunters. What do you want from me?

Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, hunter-killer. Like the Mexicutioner is a wrestler or fighter in the UFC, Mexicutioner, but to me that sounds like he kills Mexicans. Yes. But he is in fact Mexican himself. Yeah, but that doesn't make it right. And executions people. I love the number of times people tell me

Jewish jokes that are horrible, but they start off by going, hey, I'm a Jew, I can do this. No, you can't. Name one Jewish joke that's terrible. Give me one. How dare you. Okay, quit stalling, Zach. You need a movie that ends in spider

or begins with hunter or just turr. Well, you didn't offer me that. Turr of endearment? I meant to, but the trouble is you've been on the show before and still haven't figured out

the vagaries of this game. I've never played this game. I think you said it the very last time you were here. It could also end with spy, right? Yeah. Spider. Such an unfair game. It could end, the spy, right? Yeah. Spider. Such an unfair game.

It could end, the title of a real movie could end in spy. Because I haven't played this either. Yeah, no made up movies. Okay, it could end in spy. Mm-hmm. Zach. I wish I could think of...

Hunter killer. If only I... Oh, I, I, I, I could think of... Hunter killer. If only I... I, I, I, I! Do you have anything? Yeah, ends in spy. End in spy. Yeah, yeah. Anything at all?

Okay, good. You're out. Don't go to you? All right, so Robbie's our winner. For being able to think of a movie that begins with man. How did you ever see an ice pie? No, I haven't seen an ice pie. Wait, wait, wait a minute.

You're supposed to give a name of a real movie? Woman. Oh, shit, that would be really fun. Made-up movies. Everyone would win all the time. All the time. Oh, I just thought you were going to make up the thing. That's why I said Hunter.

Can we do one more round? That was the worst game of that ever. I know, but it's fun to listen to. One more round. No, it's time to move on. You guys will mess up this other game just as much. Let's not rest on our laurels. Let's continue to fuck this shit up.

Where are your laurels? I put them in the back in the dressing room and I lay on them when I smoke reefer. Nice. I was just curious. I was just trying to yes and that. I know. It's good.

It was difficult. Alright. Holy shit. You're going to say something. I'm all good. You drown on your own, motherfucker. Natural selection, March 16th at the Angelica. The Angelica. March 23rd.

I have a DVD copy if you want to come over and watch it. March 16th at the Angelica. March 16th. What are you doing? March 16th. March 16th. My screen's bigger than the Angelica. It is.

Come over. It is. Yeah, you just sit there and watch WALL-E and jerk off. Do you know how great that would be if I really could get off on WALL-E? God, that'd be fantastic. Eve is pretty hot. What's that?

Eve is hot. Eve. Yeah. All right, so please, everybody, pick your name tags. You guys got name tags? Select a name tag that you would like to play for and bring it back to your seat. There might be a match made in heaven for Zach.

There's a guy with a Hustler magazine. That's pretty good. So just go get who you want to play. Yeah, go get it, Rachel. Go get who you want to play for. Go grab a name tag for somebody. We've got Isaac the Block instead of Attack

the Block. And like I said, there's a Hustler magazine, but Zach didn't go for it. He's got candy. He didn't decide to get somebody's secret microfilm. Oh, Jeff Garland picks the candy.

What a surprise. You could re-gift it, though. Whatever you do, talk off mic. Do you want me to tell everybody? Jeff has had no sugar for three years. I've had no sweets

for over three years, but I'm still attracted when someone holds up a box of candy. By the way, I have children. I have people I can give this to. I have an office.

People come by, have a chocolate. You have an office? I do. I'm not saying where. All right. You know where, you loser. I know. Okay.

I remember when you had an office at that abandoned building on Wilshire. That was hilarious. I forgot what it's called. That was the Asahi Bear Building, Wilshire and La was hilarious. I forgot what it's called. That was the Asahi Bear Building, Wilshire and La Brea. Yeah, yeah. Mutual of Omaha before that.

It wasn't Mutual of Omaha before that. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what it's called. I think Samsung. Maybe the Samsung. I think it's called Empty Building. It's not. Not to take away any of their business.

A lot of the people listening probably need to rent office space in an empty building. By the way, I'm playing for Russell. Okay, Russell brought some Russell Stover's candies. Nobody eat Russell. That's what Russell means. And that's so, yeah.

It's very clever of Russell. And they're assorted. You know what? More about the fucking candy, Jeff. As much as you can come up with. They refer to them as fine chocolates. That sort of means, eh, they're good enough. I think it means they're sexy.

Yeah, they're fine. Yeah, they're fine. Fine, oh. They're shaped like naked ladies. Can't wait to get those fine chocolates in my mouth. All right, Robbie Pickering, who'd you Pickering? I picked Mark,

who wrote on the back of this, don't read this out loud. Yeah, yeah. Joseph Coney is a shithead. Don't read it out loud. Why am I not supposed to read it out loud? Because it gives away, at the end, Joseph Coney is a shithead Don't read it out loud Why am I not supposed To read it out loud Because it gives away At the end

They get to name a shithead If you lose on their behalf Oh fuck Can somebody else Give me something No you don't have to Just keep it there You don't have to change it

It's alright You might win You might win You're a big fan of this So he brought a copy Of Mars Attacks With What did he do to it though

He changed it to Mike Attacks Mark Attacks Yeah And Rachel picked out A phone that you get To keep Rachel Congratulations What did he do to it, though? He changed it to mic attacks? Mark attacks. And Rachel picked out a phone that you get to keep, Rachel. Congratulations. Thank you. It's Justin. My name is Justin. It's not a phone. It's just an iPod, he said. iPod Touch?

Bit of a downgrade, but I'd still keep it if I were you. It's an iPod Touch? It's an iPod Touch! Young people love iPod Touch. It's an iPod Touch. It's an iPod Touch. Young people love iPod Touch. Are you an actor? Because you're projecting very well. It's like he wants Steve Gates to hear it.

So good. That was cute. That was cute. That was cute. Steve Jobs, I meant to say. Zach's like, who's Steve Gates? I don't know, but but it still got some laughs it still got a little bit

and then Zach brought Christine Hahn's secret files on an old timey what is this called like a a disc floppy disc

that is not floppy at all Christine that is a hard disc but that's what she is willing to give up for you to play. See, there's a shithead on the back of yours, too. Three years, Jeff. Three years.

I didn't have any. Okay. Jeff is passing out the candies to everyone. But keep it in this section. It's very nice. You don't care. For your people, I've decided. Here you go, guys. Are they d section. It's very nice. You don't get it. Yeah, it's weird. It's for your people, I've decided. Here you go, guys.

Are they dosed? Some dentine ice. Are they dosed? Or whatever it is. By the way, have you ever had a piece of chocolate and then a piece of dentine ice? Fantastic. No, I never have.

I haven't had one. But you can pass that on. Well, then that's just like Andre's thin mint, right? If you do it at the same time. Similar thing. Yeah. But weird textures at the same time. Yes.

What is happening? We're about to play the Lettermon game. We've got our name tags. Sometimes it's not the destination. It's the arduous journey. Justin, I need your code. Oh, that's okay. We'll remember his name is Justin. Or we'll forget and not really care. It's the arduous journey. Justin, I need your code. Oh, that's okay.

We'll remember his name is Justin. Or we'll forget and not really care. But I think I'll remember. We care, Justin, I care. I'll remember you, Justin. I care, I'll remember. That's my vow to you. I'm a regular Rachel McAdams.

All right. How much money would it take for you to go see The Vow? Didn't I really think about it? I was really thinking about it before you yelled at me to really think about it. I was making my thinking face. I'd do it for like 20 bucks. Okay. How much would you Would you have to be paid

To sit through the vow Zach I don't know The Sarah vow How much would I have to pay you To watch Sarah vowel Talk to Jeff Garland What's

Oh the vow's a movie right I'm out of the loop Alright we'll start with Robbie I'm not gonna see it I'll tell you that You know why I'm out of the loop all right we'll start with Rob I'm not gonna see it I'll tell you that you know why I'm not in it not even for 20 bucks 20 bucks you ever made no it wouldn't be Gave a guy a handjob behind Yoshinoya once.

The one on Vine and Santa Monica? Yes, the one on Vine and Santa Monica. I wish it wasn't so smelly back there. Because it was pretty romantic. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Except for the smell. Zach, did you give it to Doug? Were you guys there together? No, no, no.

It's just a popular place for handjobs. All right. Okay. First you wait in line at Pink's for an hour or two. Right, right, no. It's just a popular place for handjobs. All right. Okay. First you wait in line at Pink's for an hour or two. Right, right, right. Then you go over there and get a handjob by a dumpster. It's like a whole Sunday morning thing. Beautiful.

Okay. Sunday night they're playing chess. So don't go Sunday night. But Sunday morning it's handjobs. But at night they've got a light out there. Everybody's playing chess. So make sure you know what you want to accomplish at Yoshinoya when you go. Ask for Clive. That's his name.

Somebody should figure out, like, I bet Jeff is the guest where the least amount of discussion about movies happens while he's on. But it's still fun. But I love movies more than you. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Girls, girls, you're both pretty. Let's find out right now how much you love movies. Let's mention that people, how many Fellini movies you've seen.

How many Fellini movies has anybody seen? They're old and boring. Robbie has seen them all. You got one guy in the audience that's booing on your behalf and his name is How many Fellini movies has anybody seen? They're old and boring. Robbie has seen them all. No, you're a big boy. Robbie's seen all the Fellini movies. You don't love them. You got one guy in the audience that's booing on your behalf, and his name is Russell. Okay, we got to start the game, though. Robbie, you get to start us off, and then we'll go to Jeff, Zach, Rachel, in order of

how much I think you guys understand how this is played. Robbie gets to pick a category. Would you like Forget About It? That's films where someone has Alzheimer's. Or At No Drugs For You suggested I'll Be Back, which is Arnold Schwarzenegger's sequels.

I don't know how many of those there are. And then at Sal K.R. Dan suggested Fast Times and that's movies where the word fast is in the title so which one of those do you like Robbie?

I will do Forget About It Wow this is an exciting category you get to pick between two different years. Because there's two different movies I could think of where somebody had Alzheimer's. So would you like one from 2004 or 2007? 2007. Yeah, probably more recent is better when you're talking about Alzheimer's. Three stars from Leonard Maldon for this movie

from 2007. He says about it that it's remarkable and he also says the cast couldn't be better and that it's based on a New Yorker

short story. I gave you a third clue cuz those first two weren't that called name it in zero Wow he's that was enough to give filmmaker Robbie Pickering the ability to say zero name so now we go to Jeff you can either say name it or if you think you know it you can get into a negative name territory. So I should just say, do I lose anything by saying name it? No.

All right, name it. Away from her. That's correct. One point to Robbie. Taking it down hard. I can say flat out, I could not have gotten that with 500 guesses. It was away from me.

Okay, let's start with Zach and then go to Jeff. We'll go around the other way. Zach gets to pick a category. Would you like I Make Jokes 1 on Twitter suggested flossed in translation? And that's movies that have a dentist in them also it's Shaquille O'Neal's birthday today so films that feature Shaquille O'Neal or my wife that's movies where the director is married to an actress in the film. Which one of those do you like, Zach?

I'm going to go with the Shaquille O'Neal one. Yeah. What's the difference between a Zach attack and a Shaq attack? About two feet. Leonard Ball gives this movie two stars. It's from 1997. He calls it broad. And he also says

this film offers no real nourishment. As so many films do. Two stars, 1997, and he lists 11 names. I thought I knew. How many names? Well, you could say 11 names.

You'll get to hear them all if... Well, I know who's in it. If Jeff decides to challenge you. It's just a Shaquille O'Neal movie, right? Has he done a lot of movies? Shaquille O'Neal is in this movie, and I believe he's appeared about six times in movies. Oh. Yeah, yeah.

But is this a Shaquille O'Neal themed? Is this a game where you get to ask questions that I will actually answer? Okay. So just go 11 names if you're so unsure. That's not going to help, but 11 names. Okay, 11 names. If you heard all 11 names,

I think you'd have a chance of getting it, but now we go to Jeff. You could bid lower, or you could say to Zach, name that movie. 10 names. It's crazy how it works.

Robbie? Is his father Tip in it? It is Super Tuesday, so Tip O'Neil is a good political reference. I'll go... I almost said Shack tip I didn't even get

What the fuck You were trying to do Yes Robbie I'll go nine names Nine he says So now Rachel You could say Eight names

Or you could say Robbie name that movie I say just say Eight names I say eight names Yeah okay Now we come back to you Zach

So you can go lower Or you could make her name I'm gonna do five names. I say eight names. Yeah, okay. Now we come back to you, Zach. So you can go lower, or you can make her name. I'm going to do five names. Five, he says, Jeff. Name that movie. I can't get any Shaq movie except one. So if he lucks out, it's the one that I know. Shaq tip? That he knows.

Shaq tip? All right, so he gets five names, right? Okay. I'll tell you again. This movie is not real nourishment. That was the only clue I needed. It's broad. And your five names are Robert Wool.

You know, he played Arliss. May he rest in peace. Shaquille O'Neal is the next name, so he was not the lead in this. Then Carmen Electra was in this, along with Ron Lester and Jan Schwiederman. Might be Schwiederman. So those are your five names.

And, uh... Yeah. Good luck. Wait, what's the year again? 1997? What do you think it is? The English Patient. What would I tell you if the top three names

were Sinbad, Kenan Thompson, and Kel Mitchell? Then what would you think it is? And it's not, there's no real nourishment. Fat burger. Is that it?

No, good burger. Damn it, it's fat burger! That was just for fun. Jeff got the point on that one because he told you to name it and you couldn't name it. But great first guess. I love that you're keeping score. That's the purpose.

I know. I just like games where everybody wins. First to two. First to two. This time we'll go with Rachel starting off and then work towards Jeff. You get to pick a category, Rachel.

Would you like Iron Lady? That's movies with female robots in them. Dude, Where's My Sklar? Zach knows. That's the films of the Sklar? Zach knows. That's the films of the Sklar brothers. Seriously? They've been in movies? Yeah.

Sure. Yeah. I never knew that. They're very successful and such. I've just never seen them on the screen. Oh, you've never seen Dancing with the Sklars? By the way. What would it take for you to go on Dancing with the Stars?

$20? Would you do that for $20? No. I haven't. No. How can Nathan Lane not win? He's funny and he can already dance. Is he on it this year?

Is he on it? No, I don't think he's on it. Can I ask a question? Have they ever approached you about being on Dancing with the Stars? No. I've been approached twice. We're at different points in our career. They thought that I might say yes.

Like they know Zach, there's no way. Jeff Garlin might say yes. You're acting like it's Slugworth in an alley. They have to go through people usually. Like he has people that would never even tell him. I just finished Celebrity Rehab. No, my people told me laughing because they have to tell me everything,

but they told me laughing. No, they keep secrets from Zach, and he likes it that way. But I think they never asked. Or Beatle-Namia. That's movies that have one of the names of the Beatles in the title. Oh.

So, obviously not Ringo. Right. Why not? Oh yeah, all those great movies with the word Ringo in the title. There might be one from the 70s. Ringo doesn Right. Why not? Oh, yeah, all those great movies with the word Ringo in the title? There might be one from the 70s. Ringo doesn't count. I don't care how you pronounce it, Jeff. All right.

Which one do you like, Rachel? There could have been a Western in the 20s. Lord of the... Lord of the Ringoes? You never saw that? I can't. I'm picturing that movie right now. Lord of the Ringoes. Yeah. I'm really picturing that movie right now Lord of the Ringo's I'm really picturing it

And I'm picturing like there's a lord And with CGI they just have millions of Ringo's It was already all CGI It can't be that hard to flip it over To all Ringo's instead of Instead of Hobbits Or Ringo plays all the Hobbits Or he could be all the orcs

Anyway I'm going to go with The Sklar Or Ringo plays all the hobbits. Or he could be all the orcs. Anyway. I'm going to go with the Sklar. Yeah. Dude, where's my Sklar? Dude, where's my Sklar? 2007. Two stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie. Two.

He calls it kind of a sappy vehicle. And he also says that John C. McGinley has a surprise cameo near the end. Wow, how did they get that guy that's in that commercial I see all the time? Isn't he in a commercial right now?

No, wasn't he on Scrubs? He's in a commercial now. Good actor, good actor. Eleven names. This is a starting bid if that's where you'd like to begin yes yes okay rachel says 11 robbie 10 jeff nine this rocket's gonna go eventually zach uh what did did you do, Jeff? He's at nine. Eight. Strategic play. What do you think, Rachel?

Can I say, I want to hear all eight names? No. Okay, easy, easy. Wow. That was crazy. This is how Jeff acts when he's seen Kevin.

No! When I've seen him No That's all it takes now I smell it I'm gonna say I'm gonna say seven I'm gonna say seven names Okay

Oh wow I'm gonna say Name that movie Oh This could all be over It could very much be over This is gonna be so uneventful No it's exciting if Robbie wins.

Why would you knock down the whole game that a show is based upon? I'm disappointed in you, Rachel. No, it's me. It is called Doug Loves Movies based on a book by Leonard Maltin. That's the long name. You just don't include that on iTunes.

I don't. Why drag that into it? I'm scared. I want all the credit. All right. I know. Why drag that into it? I'm scared. I want all the credit. All right. So you want the clues again, Rachel? Yes, please. Okay.

They are You're Not Gonna Get This in a Million Years. Okay. Great. And John C. McGinley. John C. McGinley. I have a gut feeling as to what the movie is. Okay. I'm not going to say no.

We'll talk about it later. Do you get less of those since you lost weight? Or more? Gut feelings. Hey, Doug. That is so much funnier than you guys. No. They just love you so much that they don't want to laugh.

They do. They don't want to laugh at a... Do you realize that I could just take over this podcast any week I want to? I'm that popular with young people. This show could be called Jeff Hands Out Chocolate. I'll be packed every week. People sitting on floors cross-legged love Jeff Garland.

That's his demo. Okay, and it's also sappy, Rachel. Okay, it's very sappy. And you're five names. And also, I just want to say to everybody that you're at Rachel E. Harris on Twitter. Yes. And you spell Rachel crazy also. Well, some people think it's crazy.

You spell it the hard way. Some people think it's right. R-A-C-H-A-E-L. Like Michael. Yeah. I always just say, what's up, Mike? Like I have trouble saying Michael. It's Rachel E. Harris on Twitter, so follow her because she's funny.

Five names. By the way, my tweets suck. Seven names, but my tweets suck. Don't follow me. Awesome. Seven names. This is serious. And Jeff is on the record saying his tweets suck.

Justin, this is for you. So don't follow at Wall E. Masturbator. Oh, man. Your seven names are Stephen Tobolowsky. Okay, I know him. Ned Ryerson. Tashina Arnold. Jill Hennessy.

MC Ganey. Not to be confused with John C. McGinley M.C. Ganey Kevin Durand Marissa Tomei Ray Liotta and William H. Macy yeah

you're essentially missing the names that would tell you what the movie would be and I'll tell you what the movie would be. What the movie is. And I'll tell you, the scores were billed low enough

that they weren't listed. Yes. But they are in it. But they are in it. Jeff has a hunch. So John C. McGinley, Tanisha Arnold of Martin fame. Right?

Is that what she was on? Yeah. Yeah. Campbell Arnold. Yeah. You're going to win now. What? He's going to win. He's about to win. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. What? He's going to win.

He's about to win. Yeah, he's about to win. Exciting. And just under the wire, I'm just thinking, is it... Wow, is... Do you know it, Robbie? No, no.

I don't think I do. What year was it? It was... 2007. Give her the last two. I don't want you do. What year was it? It was... 2007. Give her the last two. I don't want to win like this. Well, you're going to win because we don't have time

for it to play anymore. Is George Clooney in the movie? Well, just let me double check. No. Okay. Okay. Is it... Is it... Is it...

Is it... At least guess something good. I am, I'm trying. I'm trying to guess something. Is it... Is it... Where's Markatex? Wait, wait, wait.

I'm just going to give the prize away before you say anything. Is it like another teen movie? What? With William H. Macy? Yeah. Tanisha. It's called not another teen movie, but...

That was a pretty good guess, though. The remaining names are Martin Lawrence. What do you think it is, Jeff? Oh, hi, Martin Lawrence. Now, who's the crazy person now? John Travolta. Steve Zahn. It's one that I missed.

And? Tim Allen. Oh, shit. Wild Hogs! Where's Mark? Where's Mark Attacks? There you go, dude. Congratulations. He wins all that stuff. I don't even read this out. Up in the air, starring Zach Galifianakis

is in the bag. Can I just say something? When Wild Hogs came out, it made me angry. Just the whole idea of it. I got angry every time I saw the trailer. Nothing like the book? I never saw it. Was it Wild Hogs?

It was nothing like the book. That's what made him angry. Zach's right. Or the play at the Wooster Group. Zach and I met at a book club meeting. The Wild Hogs book club meeting. That's where we first met. Did you see Wild Hogs?

You go see a lot of movies. Did you see that one? I've seen parts of it on wherever they play at FX or wherever. Was there a sequel? And I saw there's a scene where there's a lot of fun with riding bulls and all the things that can happen to three wild hogs when they're riding bulls. Yeah. And the Sklar brothers wear cowboy hats,

and they're at the bull place. I auditioned for wild hogs. Yeah, I'm sure. Fascinating. You're welcome. Thank you, Rachel. You're welcome. Can I say to you also,

thank you for having me on with my favorite comedian, Zach Galifianakis. He's my favorite. By a million miles, my favorite. Can I say that thank you for having me on with Rachel Harris.

Nobody likes you. Wow. Nice spin. You turned that right. Very nice spin. Wow. Nice spin. Very nice spin. Wow. That plate's never coming off the stick. It was an amazing spin. What do you want plugged, Jeff?

Nothing. Oh, perfect. I've done all my plugging. I've got no plugging. All right. Robbie, say the dates again for natural selection. Oh, the paperback've done all my plugging. I've got no plugging. All right. Robbie, say the dates again for Natural Selection. Oh, the paperback for my book is out. It's not called My Footprint.

It's called Curbing It, because they wanted curb in the title. All right, there you go. Natural Selection is March 16th in New York at the Angelica in Philadelphia, and then it's here in May in Los Angeles. May 12th. Yeah, and we'll grow out all over the place as people are joining. Let me ask you a technical question about

would it be eligible for next year's Oscars? Yeah, it was eligible this year. Yeah, yeah, because you got nominated for an Independent Spirit Award and some stupid person won that. Who won? Michelle Williams. Oh, she's alright.

She did a good job, but I think you were better in your movie than she wasn't hers, but you had to invent a character instead of just watching tapes of someone. Thank you, Mr. Benson. You're welcome. And Zach, you got anything to plug? I'm doing spring tryouts for the Tampa Bay

Bucks. You know what I love? You truly know nothing about sports. The idea that you're going for spring tryouts. Bucs short for Buccaneers. I know a lot about sports. You're going for spring training. Spring training for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

You're hoping to bat third. Where's Russell at? We need Russell's shithead. Oh, Russell's right there. Come on up, Russell. And then I've got... Oh, that's a good one. Thank you.

You're welcome. Mark attacks has a good one. And then just write it down right there in all that white space there. Oh, yeah. Justin gets the right one down, too. Well, what is this thing going on now? Can I plug something else, too? This is the thing that happens every time you're on the show where...

No, it does not. It's never happened before. Doug, Doug. I'm sorry. I've never seen this, and I like your show. I come, I pay attention, and I've never seen this. You really do. All right, stop talking to Zach and write your shit down.

Oh, that's a good one, too. Yeah. Oh, come on. No. It's Justin. He's sweet. Oh, okay. I'm going to do Mark Attack's.

There's also, because it's a good one, and they're not supposed to get one, but that's my favorite one. What's his name again? Oh, yeah. Do you know that guy, Zach? Joseph Coney, do you know him? No, I don't know him. You should find out about him. I'd love to follow his tweets.

That'd be the worst. Just you saying that kills me. That'd be the worst That'd be the worst Just saying that Kills me That'd be the worst Comedy Twitter account Ever Or

The best Yeah well I don't know It's pretty horrible What he's done But Who is he? You'll learn more about him

Later Is it really a person? Yeah it really is Oh Yeah yeah It's really Truly horrible person I might make him

Permanent shithead for a while like every every week okay wait three people who is he we don't have time to get into it and it's also not funny so uh oh is he one of those guys uganda and children oh okay terrible horrible stuff oh yeah yeah So, laugh it up. But see, I already written it down in case no one else suggested it. I follow Idiot Bean's tweets. The ghost of Idiot Bean. The ghost of Idiot Bean?

Yeah. Tweets, yeah. Those are ghost written. He's got a lot of gut feelings about things. Okay, so so thank you. That made no sense. What? He's a ghost.

Go ahead. Ghosts can't have gut feelings? Nope. Are all ghosts skinny? They're all intellectuals. Oh, you're doing the fat shit again. Oh, you're doing the fat shit again. Oh, that again. The joke of it all is I'm still fat.

So what's the... I'm not as fat. Considerably less so, yeah. Considerably less so. How many pounds less? I guess from my top, I'm around 50, 55. Yeah, yeah.

And the amount of pussy I'm getting is crazy. It works. Thank you to all my guests. Jeff Garland, Robbie Pickering, Rachel E. Harris, Zach Galifianakis. And as always, Monica Lewinsky is a shithead. Patricia Heaton is a shithead.

I'm sorry. Fellini is a shithead. That's just wrong. And Joseph Kony is the world's biggest shithead. Now it's time to look above the southern top Keep eyes up, hold your view, and cow his face If cocky, there's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies!