Doughboys - Alfred Coffee with Sean Clements and Hayes Davenport

Episode Date: September 11, 2025

Sean Clements (@seanclements) and Hayes Davenport of Hollywood Handbook join the 'boys to talk sports fandom, vegetables, and morning coffee routines before a review of Alfred Coffee. Plus, another edition of Snack or Wack.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboys or get the Doughboys Comic at beourkids.comAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/tv/story/2021-10-07/fox-broadcasting-35-years-the-simpsons-joan-rivers-tracye-ullman-married-with-children-in-living-colorhttps://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/october-4/beverly-hills-90210-debutshttps://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/melrose-place-oral-history-marcia-cross-heather-locklear-grant-show-darren-star-look-back-1016500/https://sports.yahoo.com/kawhi-leonard-banned-from-la-coffee-chain-after-not-signing-with-the-lakers-220706473.htmlhttps://www.modernluxury.com/alfred-coffee-founder-josh-zad-interview/https://alfred.la/pages/about🌎 Get an exclusive 15% discount on your first Saily data plans! Use code doughboys at checkout. Download Saily app or go to https://saily.com/doughboys ⛵See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. Hey, buddy. Lately, we've been reaching for the same thing for lunch and dinner multiple times a week. Goodalls. That's right, Wags. I'm on a good old streak.

Wow. Goodles tastes just like the mac and cheese we know and love, but packed with protein and nutrients. And the newly launched single serve cups are perfect. for busy schedules. There they are right in front of us. I like not having to do the dishes after one of these single-serve cups, I'll say. That's a lot of fun. I agree.

Sometimes I get jealous of those who live in grease. They get to smash their plates. Me, I got to wash them. Yeah. That's why the good old single-serve cups are perfect for me. And you don't have to remember to buy milk. Just right in there. It's true.

Every serving of good old's mac and cheese has 14 grams of protein, 7 grams of fiber with prebiotics, and 21 vitamins and minerals from real plant sources. They have an amazing variety of flavors. Me, I like the Shell of Good. Shell of Good is Shell a good. Plus, there are vegan and gluten-free options, Wags. It's a low-glycemic index food, which means it provides steady energy instead of a carb crash.

And on top of that, it's kosher and clean label purity award certified. Do what we did. Get yourself some Goodalls. We know you'll love them, too. Pick up Goodell's on your next shopping trip. It's available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers. And don't forget, the new single-serve cops.

Opa! On April 5, 1987, the Fox Broadcasting Company premiered its first ever primetime lineup, dysfunctional family sitcom married with children, and personality-driven sketch review, the Tracy Olin Show. The latter would spawn the still airing The Simpsons, the animated series that, would fully entrench the so-called fourth network as an American institution and become an institution

itself. In fall of 1990, now the network TV It Girl for younger viewers, Fox found its first dramatic series hit with Beverly Hills 90210210, a teens played by 20-something soap opera that turned a zip code into a tourist destination. And by July of 1992, Fox had coaxed 902102O creator Darren Starr, who'd later go on to create sex in the city, into making a spin-off, called Melrose. Place, the cast and crew figured out on the go that the secret of success was to lean into the soap, making a gloriously trashy series awash in sex and murder. While the show's peak of cultural relevance was short-lived, it lingered in the collective consciousness and succeeded in making the West Hollywood Street of Melrose a globally known shorthand for glamour.

And so it was Melrose Place where, in January of 2013, Josh Zad, notably not Josh Gadd, opened a high-end coffee shop appealing to similarly cool and moneyed Angelinos. In keeping with its L.A. born identity, in 2019, the company weighed into the Lakers-Clippers' Intra City feud with a publicity stunt banning new Clippers, Kauai Leonard and Paul George, from its stores. Today, with two dozen locations across California, as well as in Austin and Kuwait, this unashamedly upper-class brand owns a registered trademark on the memed phrase, but first, coffee. But second, how does it taste? This week on Do Boys, Alfred Coffey.

Welcome to Do Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Wiger along with my co-host. Ari Aster's Doe is Afraid, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Doe is afraid I didn't see Bo was afraid Did you see it? I did I like the first Like 35 minutes of it

When Bo was afraid When Bo is mostly afraid And then he gets I mean he is afraid The whole movie Bo got too brave for you And I don't want to talk too early I know there's a big chunk of your fan base

That doesn't want to hear from me at all But I But I remember you saying You couldn't relate to Bo anymore Once he grew the slightest fraction of a spine in the film and you said oh I don't get it anymore I used to know who this guy was

he was me there's he he confronts a penis monster at one point in the movie there's a lot that goes on I you know what I I enjoy I enjoy every attempt that Ari Ari Aster makes I really liked Eddington I haven't seen Eddington I gotta watch this Yeah, I really, really enjoyed it. There's a lot, there's, people are divisive on it.

It's Paddington's brother? Joking around. He likes preserves instead of marmalade. Okay, pretty freaky, but that's the twisted mind of Ariaster. You talked about a penis monster. If I can, he's got a penis monster of his own in Eddington. Oh, I heard this. Big fucking hog.

I heard that there's a big hog in it. Yeah, yeah. Who's whipping it out there? Waukeen? Joaquin himself yeah oh okay yeah all right well geez man i don't listen that often the last episode i i listened to the papa john's one yeah was also the first 15 minutes were about a movie you had just seen that has a big hog in it what movie was that 20 is it you don't know which one 20 years later it was about a guy with a big hog yeah yeah i'm sorry to talk before i'm supposed to

i actually have a much scarier version of it in my head than sean does which is not the that your audience doesn't want to hear for me is that they have forgotten about me entirely because this show that occupies such a huge part of my own mental landscape and that of our show is not deliberately keeping us off of it. It's just out of sheer indifference.

Yeah, that's right. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. And we've been experiencing that. We love our boys. It's been too long. It's been far too long. I yeah I'm like I was like driving here being like oh I've like had and raised like another child since I was here before like it's like I'm like in a whole other phase of my life like it's just been time is crazy in that way and we're right next to you like we see you multiple times a week we see you a lot yeah just to catch up on sort of the the lore of it all we did a live show with you guys where you announced on stage that we were going to be on this show within the calendar year, which let us know that you had been withholding it in a way that I... That was pre-COVID or something. It was...

Was this the P-Cast blast? It was June of 2024. So we didn't quite hate the calendar year. It is now September of the following year. Oh, I thought it was pre-Mitch getting COVID is what I meant. Right. Which is how we got canceled on last time. And it was like, got to get you back on.

And then another eight months. Which I did get COVID. It was a bad case of it. And I got long COVID from that COVID, I believe, is what happened, I think. That's what happened. Uh, Doe was afraid because of all the mom stuff, Daniel from SLC, Rosette, Burrbock.com. Sure, yeah. That makes sense.

Mitch, you and I saw Jimmy Angel. We did. Which I've never seen, the 90-year-old teen idol over at the Smokehouse and Burbank, or at front of the show, our Mufo, Mike Carlson took us over there. Yes, this 90-year-old guy who plays music. You knocked over a cane, and then... I did knock over a woman's cane. I retrieved it.

You knocked over a woman's cane, and then a guy at the other table will try to give it to me and Gabris, thinking we needed the cane, which... You guys arrived in the two motorcycles, right? Did you enjoy Jimmy Angel? It was fun to see you out. It was interesting. I was going to go out a little bit more, yeah, past guest, Maddie Smith. Mike Carlson.

It was a fun night. It was a fun atmosphere. This guy is like he does have a legitimately, you know, wonderful voice for a man who's, you know, in his 10th decade. Yeah. And, um, a hundred and six-year-old World War II veteran was there. A lot of, a lot of seniors cutting the rug. I said, thank you for your service, sir.

I did, I went up and to him and I told him that. And, uh, he didn't, I don't think he understood me. So I left. Uh, but he was, he was dancing at one point. Uh, uh, and he was, uh, he was with it. There's, it's, it's an older crowd, but they're very active, wigs. They were they have fun. Uh, I'll have to take your word for it.

I'd be donkey for some kind of affirmation about it for much or just like confirmation that we heard and like I did I heard it for sure I'm getting a lot of check-ins on this event that I was looking at me like I'm just learning about now I'm yeah I think I nervously looked at you I'm a little nervous having you guys back we haven't had you on for a while sometimes you give us a hard time and I get scared I beat donkey Kong you eat donkey Kong but Cananza. I did. What was your, like, your play-through time? Oh, I haven't, I haven't checked that. It's a beefy game. It's a beefy game. Kind of the, uh, Leon, the professional of video games in a way.

What do you say? In what way? Because of, I don't play, not, not for me. Because of Pauline is, I think, canonically 12 or 13 in the game. Yes, with Donkey Kong. It's a very strange. The game is weird. It's a weird game.

I guess so. There's nothing at all. Like, it's come on. There's nothing untoward between the Donkey Kong, Pauline, I don't think so either. I was just saying that that's... You think there is with Leon the professional? No, I don't think...

That was your read on that movie that they're like that's romantic? No, not at all. No, but I'm just like I think you're bringing that to it. Yeah. And it is the professional. I think probably, you know, obviously behind the scenes, right? The architect of that film is problematic. Yes.

And maybe Wigers bringing that to it. That's why I think it kind of has that reputation. Yes, right. Yeah, that's right. People think of it as the movie's inappropriate. Right. Movies actually nice. You know what I mean?

But the people who made, this is about separating the art from the artist, which is what I ask everyone to do with your podcast as well. You don't have to separate it for us. We don't have to separate it. It might help if they did. Do you don't have to separate it with this? Don't have to, but you want to be able to enjoy it in public? The boys are back, Wags.

We got the boys back. That's right. The Hollywood handbook place. Yes, indeed. The great shrimp off was a great, a classic podcast episode. Oh, I think about it so much. I've listened to it again. Sometimes I'll listen to it too.

Because it was a nice night of my life. Speaking of Jimmy Angel, remember Angel our server? Her name was a problem. She thought that 69 was funny. Yeah, he did. That's right. Those were the days. Well, it was just a different time, wasn't it?

It really was. When you could make a 69 joke to your. server at Red Lobster. You wouldn't have any worry about it. Townspeople getting their pitchforks out. You tell me about it. And by the way, that Red Lobster now closed, I believe. Is it?

I think so. That's a bummer. It was a Canoga Park one? Oh, wait, no, it's open. Never mind. We're tracking. I'm sorry. I think that one is open.

Gosh, now you got me thinking about them Cheddar Bay Biscuits. Ooh. Mama. They're like crack mitts. I'm addicted to them. I couldn't get enough. I mean, they are like crack. They sent us a lot of...

What are they put in those? They said... I think it's just... They sent us the... They sent us a nice bundle when we finished off Rock Lobster West. Me and Wigar, not you guys. Sorry.

Yeah, they sent us a... But it included the at-home baking mix for the cheddar bay biscuits, but it didn't actually make it. That's interesting to only send it to the losers of the shrimp ball. That would have set a precedent for revshare. in the show and stuff like that and like no we can't have that we should have shared it with you guys but it was in the early days we're getting something from a podcast seemed you know it seemed kind of special and I didn't want to share right it was just early on the last thing I ever

received yeah no you can't do that you can give you some goodles if you'd like them yeah people love goodills what's a goodos ads gudels no no no that the we the portmanteau is because I thought because noodles good noodles would be gudels of the portmanteau is apparently Because I eat them. Yeah, I eat them. I'm eating them too. We're on an ad for them. I eat them.

Yeah, they're noodles. They're a different kind of base material they're made out of. And they have like, are they're high in protein, yes? Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of investors that vest in it. We're running an ad for them. No one's mad about it. Yes.

Yeah. Everyone's happy about that. Well, I think that's what's so nice about, you know, the podcast fan base and you guys have experienced obviously all sides of it where they do kind of give you all. a lot of, a pretty long leash in terms of who the sponsorships are or what kind of guests you have on. And sometimes you have no idea

what any of these places are. It's true, yeah. You don't necessarily dig into all, you know, like what, where the money came from to even start the company or anything. Here's some free product. Here's some ad copy. You know, I was like, okay, yeah, sure, yeah. You know, I didn't, you know,

you're not going to. You're thinking, I want to use the studio. The ads kind of pay for the studio space. etc. And you're thinking, well, it's nice to do the podcast in a studio together in person, which the fans prefer. We tried doing it on Zoom. People were mad about that. And you're thinking

if they don't like this, but then... The old Zoom days. God. Now you're taking me back even further. We, you know, we got a lot of guests we probably wouldn't have gotten on with Zoom. I think that is a fun... Yeah, and again, no one was mad about any of those guests.

it's great you know you get the certain guess and you think oh okay like this is a whatever big opportunity this is a coup with you with you guys i think the fan base just likes to just push the button everyone's while just make sure it still works yeah you know what i mean so it works we're still we get stressed out whenever you push the button you give ten thousand dollars to somebody like you know like just it is a good i've talked to i've talked to a friend who actually points to that entire incident as like the peak symbol of like the sort of like COVID madness that took hold of the entire nation where it was like I've got to be able to affect something somehow it's in Eddington it feels Eddington it feels like a Pedro Pascal's character

is what is the podcast called is it there's is it is it is it is it not directly doughboys or is it some sort of food podcast that he called that he uh I need to see Eddington. I haven't seen it yet. It got taken out of theater far too fast. I know. That was my experience, too. I was like, oh, I'll go see that today.

And then I was like, no, I won't because it's not. I've got to drive. In Hollywood now, there's, you know, they're getting things, they're pushing things onto the streaming services very quickly. I know. I know. You get just a little sample. It's just promotional, really, to put it in the theater.

Yeah, yeah. It's just an ad for the streaming service. It's very sad. How, that really did make you that. Yeah. Mitch is going through. Mitch, I know you have a little bit of,

are you doing it right? We love the movies. You have a little bit of business I know we have to get to before I formally hit him with the drop. Help, you got to help me. This monster's after me. He's terrifying, please.

Who? Who is he? My best friend. Hey, what's going on? Hey, buddy. Handcake. So, how'd I do? Mitch, that was great.

Hey, Mitch, congrats on Twisty Mental, or whatever it's called, cheers, Drop King. Wow, DK put the whip that one up. Wow. Drop King, Drop. DK Original. That's from Twisted Metal, the first episode of Twisted Metal. That's right. Spoiler alert, if you haven't.

Speaking of. The good streamer Peacock, which I like. He was working with us for a while. Drop King. Yes, with a promise that he could get us on this show, which he was unable to make that happen. I think that you have to be back within the 2026 calendar year now. I think that. I mean, look, Wags doesn't like food challenges anymore.

No, but you're right. The food challenges a second year. I ate like six shrimp in the last. It's true. He doesn't like the food challenge. Okay. Well, as the winner, I do like them. But you decide.

We're not binging for content anymore, but it has been an oversight to not get our guests back on the show more frequently. And this is a thing we need to fix moving forward. I don't even care. And we're happy to have them today. You're the ones who really care about. From a Hollywood handbook in the flagrant run, Sean Clements and Hayes-Davenport are back. Thanks for having us. Hey, thanks for having us.

It is really good to be sitting with my buddies again. God, we had an active text thread for a while, too, and that kind of disappeared. We had a great active text thread. I was trying to keep, you know, I still will text it occasionally. We brought it back for a little while, and I don't want to call anyone in particular, but there were, like, Weiger did not, did not want to participate. He didn't fuck with that, yeah. Look, I have a problem.

The man has a lot of text threads. No, I just, I will, just interrogate, I have a, when I have a, I have social anxiety and I have problems when, like, when things start to get, when a relationship starts to get a little bit closer, I tend to retreat. And that's a failing of mind that I'm trying to work on. So that is part of it. But, um, you turtle up. Yeah, I tend to, I tend to turtle up when it just like, hey, like, hey, we're, it was high. It feels like an obligation. It feels like a social obligation. It feels like a social obligation. But then it also, like, makes me very anxious to even, like, look at it. You know what I mean? But, but, but I, but I will take the, yes. I will take the heat for not engaging. And also, like, part of why when I think that text thread dissipated was during lockdown and I was, like, going fucking crazy. And I'll take the heat for that as well. But, hey, we did, we had a bit of a self-ex text thread that had a bit of a, a bit of a. Well, basketball season is starting up again.

We could get it. Football season is starting. I could see us talk about that. Yes, the war, it's us against the world. And when it comes to sporting events. I love it. Like, yeah. Patriots is going to be decent.

We got to stick together. I'm trying to get Wags. Wags is maybe become greater nations here. I was thinking of why. So we went to a restaurant in Boston. I like that for you. We went to legal seafood and I told this story on the podcast when we did that episode live in Boston, but

the waiter was also from... I didn't hear it. Well, what happened here? Great. The waiter was also from L.A. It was on the Patreon. That's, it was a page. It's in my cue. The waiter was also

from, like, I was the first one there. The waiter was also from L.A., so we were chopping it up a little bit. Again, there's this sort of thing I'm comfortable with talking to a stranger. Like, I, like, that's a level of engagement I can handle. So I'm talking to this guy. He, like, we're both from L.A., and he's like, oh, you're a Raider fan? And I'm like, oh, not really. He's like, all right, Raider Nation. And then walks away, and then for the rest of the meal, he calls me Raider Nation. Pretty good. And so he, so he's like, maybe I could just, maybe just make, work myself into a shoot and be a Raider fan. That's interesting if that's like a code, that if you're a true member

of Raider Nation, when people ask you if you're a Raider fan, you go, not really. You can't not really like something unless you truly love it. Yeah. I could see you with a skull mask expressionless at a Raiders game and cheering them on. I think that you would, I think you'd have a blast. Pussyus Raiders

fan of all time. I think you're a Chargers fan personally. You think so? Yeah. And I would go with you on that. I've been looking for Yeah, that sounds fun. Right? Doesn't that sound fun? There's a little bit...

No, Rams, you can't, no, Chargers over Rams? Like, they're both kind of, like, on the same footing this season, so you wouldn't be front running a couple years ago when the Rams, like, won the Super Bowl, then I think it was a little corny to be like, now I'm a Rams fan. Sure, yeah. Chargers have always kind of been, they're both in the playoffs last year, but I think Chargers are a little more interesting right now. I was a Rams fan as a boy.

I liked Henry Ellard and Flipper Anderson, the wide. receivers and then they moved and then I just didn't have a team and then eventually stopped following the NFL entirely but I uh so I thought about like oh do I get back on the ramps the charges thing is tough because they were in San Diego my brother lives in San Diego and the San Diego and the San Diego are a little bit like like what the why the fucking Chargers leave you know what I mean so I think that that that negative association you have that like men's rights law office that you see when you're first pulling in before Diego he is an Alpha. He is...

My alpha brother, Nate. No, he does not have a He does not have a men's rights legal practice. Of course, the tech industry. Not too bad. Yeah. I could have gone to him. The Chargers need fans is really the truth.

They need home fans in L.A. Yeah. And I'd like to support someone like that. That's, you know, my weakness. That's... Right? Is it, you know, an underdog, someone vulnerable? Someone who really needs me. Right.

I see the chargers, I think I can fix them. Right? Have you all been out to Intuit yet? I have not gotten out there. Oh, yes, yes. What's the experience? We said, Quartzide. Wow.

Yeah, it was fun. In fact, gearing up for the season, the Clippers released a series of, like, hype photos that were like, hey, this is the kind of energy we're bringing into, you know, next year. And one of them, Hayes is very prominently featured. I'm right behind him. You can't tell it's me.

which I'm grateful for because I was wearing our merch I was wearing that green hat pack hat and if you had seen Sean you would have seen him wearing the same hat yes wow so it would have looked like we were from a special school of some kind of this but yeah it's like someone's university someone's on the like like got like laid out I'm like willing I think it's Batum has like fallen on the ground or something after hitting a shot

And we're like, yeah, it was sick. It was a fucking cool. I got court side seats from Jim Brooks for a game. Wow. And I said on Jim, Jim Brooks's court side seats. You say Jim Brooks, James L. Brooks. Yeah, sorry. That's, yeah, yeah.

His friends call him Jimmy. Jim Brooks. He, uh, I, uh, they fell all the way down to me from, from the sims. They fell all the way down to the PA. So I took Josh Weiner. This was when you were working to the Simpsons. Mm-hmm. I guess Josh Weiner took Josh

Winer to the game and it was like a buzzer beater it was a great game. It was a, I think it was a buzzer beater. Wow. Look, they get, our listeners sometimes get mad when we talk about sports for too long. So we'll get to the S&L hirings and everything like that, man. We got to cover it, man.

Do you remember back in the 80s if you were a dropout as your parents were as a nightmare? Now, every kid wants to be a dropout. Yeah, yeah. What do you want to be when you grow up a dropout? and then from my generation you're going huh but a little bit younger you're going like yeah you wish that's

a big goal to have that's a big goal to have a dream no I know no those guys I mean they're they are raking it in hand over fist over a dropout making money and making us laugh that's true if you're on dropout are you

like I'm a dropout is that a thing people say it should be I guess maybe it should be we could start it right now you know we just see i mean the irony is we got to get one of these dropout guys to pick it up and then it'll catch like wildfire because they got a lot of influence then we gotta yeah we're we're friends with the there's there's dropout cross over between us we've had yeah a dropout guess oh my god i'll say like i don't think amir likes us talking about this and his in his house

well because of the shared college humor connection with uh sam rike and yeah i could rike or rife rike seems crazy but but but i don't know I have no idea. Robert Reich is the labor secretary. So I think I think Sam Rice, I think it's how you do. And his thing is that like, but like Amir says that like headgum is actually technically bigger than Dropout. Oh, interesting. And Robert Reich is his dad?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, this is dad. Yeah. Because Dropout, like, barely has any podcast. Gee. It's a real thinker. I'm stumped. We'd love to do stuff on that.

platform oh my god literally anything i would love to see you guys do some stuff on that platform would be bring me in and hit me with a fucking fun go about or whatever the fuck they do i don't give a shit man beat my ass you know see what sounds come out of me i don't care anymore just anything anything we feel you on that i think that we're we're very similarly uh you know we've done the podcast for 10 years now it's true and we're kind of you know we just don't know what we're doing anymore Yeah, I remember it in 10 years. You guys are...

It feels like a long time at the time. Are you guys older than... You guys are a year old... Two years older than us? Yeah, I know it feels like you must have started first and that's why your show is so much bigger than ours. Where it's like, oh, we just got in at the right time and it's like, no, no, no, we were in... We were already in at that time. It turns out.

Yeah, it's actually the content of the show that has some impact on whether people listen. I guessed it on a Hollywood handbook before we had doughboys. I remember that. Like, I think it was, I think it was, you were in the teens, I feel like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Always, always a little nerve-wracked before I do Hollywood handbook. But I always have fun with, with you guys, because you're very supportive. That's, that's nice to hear you say.

And how can we not support energy like that? You know, I'd like to make funny. There's nothing to make fun. How does everyone feel about the Celtics off season? Because it was like, you know, it was such a bummer. It was such a bummer, obviously. Bitch, you and I were together. We're fucking at Planet Hollywood for content in New York City.

Like, we both see that we're watching the Jason Tatum injury on mute. It's fucking. The bottom of his shoes. What happened there? Oh, yeah. Look at that. Oh, my God. Well, it's got some gunk that I stepped in.

With feathers attached to it. The fur is from the rug. Oh, it's fur. Like that, there's a very clear story behind that. It looks like, yeah, it looks like a cow ate a baby duck and then you stepped in the manure. Yeah. Like, so there's like fluff inside. Yeah. It's not poop. Yeah. I mean, I feel great about it. Yeah. Like we got, like we got the bad contracts out of the door. They got off, they got off bad money without. I thought you felt great about the thing on your shoe. I thought that's what I mean. It's like the equivalent of the, of our Celtics off season is.

of me scraping my shoe. But the concern was that you'd lose Derek White or something, but still get Derek White, still get Derek White, Jalen Brown, you know, the two players who are very, very good, really don't, you know, have a huge, whatever, glaring sort of like decline happening yet where, like, you know, Drew obviously was worse. Porzingis, he'll probably be better this year than he was in the playoffs. He's got to be.

Also, I think a long COVID suffer, right? I think that's what they said. Yeah, yeah. We did, uh, same thing in Boston. Yeah, it's just, it's just because he's tall. Yeah. I hear that Joaquin Phoenix got a real long COVID, man. He's slinging that around.

So, uh, you know this building is, uh, is part of the grousebeck. We've never actually addressed. I've always talked to that because we didn't know if we could say it. But you know what? I don't know why that's not allowed. It is like, uh, it's a known. So we share real estate with Dangerbird. records. They used to be in this unit as well, which is owned by Wick Grousebeck's brother.

Brother, yes. Yeah. So, like, I think he owns the building and like we're, like, had gum rents from him, I guess. Whit Grousebeck, the, for non-sportos, the owner of the Celtics until recently sold to him. I thought that we could, I thought we would be able to maneuver that into some sort of into something, into something. But it never really happened now. You really got spoiled by getting courtside seats from Jim Brooks once. Jim Hellbrook. James Hell Brooks That is one of his IMDB names What's his new movie? How do you know?

No, how do you know was this print was like that? That was like 50. He does these sentence movies now Where it's like, yeah, things you can tell just by looking at her And then it's just like now the new one's like,

what was I about to say again? He is, I mean, James Brooks is, is he close to 90? this point he's he's an old man right uh he's an older gentleman but you got to give it up for those older directors uh woody allen just on um the uh on bill marr's podcast yeah club random yeah we're trying to we want to get on club random at some point it's interesting i was i saw a clip of

a conversation they were having where um bill marr was saying why a sense of humor is so sexy to a woman and he was sort of explaining to woody allen yeah why it creates this intimacy with women. Well, Bill Marr's double-blest because he looks great and he's very funny on top of it. Yeah. Yeah, he's saying to Woody and Woody's like,

yeah, well, yeah, you don't even need it, pal. Look who you're telling. Because what do you think? I mean, he's been a sex symbol for so long you forget. He's actually sort of a nerdy looking guy. Oh, Woody, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know, he is definitely dirty.

There's this movie star charisma we've attached to him now, but just a just a just a photo of him totally removed from obviously we all have a current photo of him now you're saying you you you you would if you didn't know anything you would think oh he's a little bit nerdy kind of nebish yeah yeah i did go look uh at the youtube for that for that episode of club random today because i was curious how woody allen was sitting you wanted to recreate it here today well i just like like just how he arranged himself and it was very unusual uh but then i looked at all the comments and all the top comments with hundreds and hundreds of upvotes are some variation of let him fucking talk bill yes just bill can you let him finish one sentence yeah i've heard that he's that he that bill mar really took over the conversation Not that I wanted to listen to it anyways. But I'm looking, I think Woody's going to do Kill Tony next, which I'm excited to check out.

I think that will be pretty cool. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe we'll get him on the pod. My dear Woody, yeah, that'll go great. My dear Bill, with all my heartfelt admiration, please listen to this. Let your guest talk. Woody Allen finally gets the chance to interview Bill Maher.

Love the bit when Bill cuts Woody off and says, that's not relevant. Bill should simply sit in front of a mirror and interview himself. Just to be clear, are these your comments? These are all me, yeah. Will Bill ever let anyone finish a sentence? The best was when Chevy Chase got sick of it and asked him, do you realize him in the middle of a sentence? I haven't seen that interview.

A lot of fun. The movie Ella McKay is starring Emma McKeys, the new James L. Brooks movie. And it is called Ella McKay and it stars Emma Mackey. I thought that was interesting too. Two E.M. Was he working backwards? You know, you're a big South Park fan.

I am. We recently were talking about how Mr. we were just putting together Mr. Mackey. Mackie sounds like Mm-K. Wow. M-K.

Okay. Mr. M-K. Mr. M-K. This is Trevor for you. Right? I've never thought about that. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Hiding in plain sight. That is wild. They had it. I do like the South Park guys, but I'm not one of those guys. I like, but I like South Park. Mm-hmm. There's a lot of people. You couldn't believe what they were doing with Trump's penis on the show, huh?

That was outraged. How did he come up with the name Club Random, I guess is my question. I think that. And wasn't it over? Wasn't there a big announcement that Club Random was, they weren't doing it anymore? Do you not remember this? I have not. The Marin effect.

I think we lost a lot of podcasters when Marin decided to hang it up, hang up the headphones. Which made us think of a lot of other podcasters when that happened. Yeah, I think a lot of. Why do you think that? I just, that's the thing. I think a lot of podcasts. That was just recent and I can't think of any other recent podcast. I think a lot of podcasters thought about hanging it up after Marin was when he was done.

I mean, we talked about it. I think there is a moment you have like, oh, you can't end a podcast. That is an option. But also it helps to be Mark Marin, who is a thriving acting and touring standup career. Sure, yes. Like, you know, not relying on. But you never thought the cat ranch would close down. He thought it would be open forever.

And here we go. But he's going on a tear, man. He's been on a press tour. and he is cooking, honey. He's bigger than ever. He is, he is. He's cooking, you know. In winding it down, he's, he's winding it up.

You know what I mean? You guys could have that. I think the farewell doughboys tour could actually launch us into our next era. I saw people sharing this picture of you guys hugging with your, like, in Boston probably. Yeah, with your 10-year show and people would be like, I'm really moved by this. Imagine the kind of juice you get if you guys. ended this entire project is that sad that i can remember i mean i agree look it sounds like you guys are talking us into ending the podcast which i think we both kind of agree with man 10 years it's like

what more is there to say it's true i mean it's not to say you can never do a podcast again if samler would do macdonalds with us we would end it if samler would do macdonalds with us don't you think we would just end it do you do you think that would be the final episode yeah why not i don't think you I think you say that, I don't think you would do it. I like to have money. I mean, like that is, that is the tricky part. Because I think it would be a big episode, and I think it's hard to probably turn the spigot off after that. Yeah.

I mean, like, unless you're like, hey, if you're like, hey, this is our end date. We're committing to ending it regardless. Let's get the biggest guest we can book. Would listeners be cool with just paying the patron? I don't think it would be that big. It's like, it's Adam Sandler talking about McDonald's. Yeah, that's true. would be like

he does it's not like him like coming out of isolation of like never doing an interview it would probably be part of a press tour for something else he's not connected to how do I how do I resolve this this guy's eating McDonald's you know yeah sure he's not McDonald's Woody Allen or do we have to get someone

do we need someone bigger is Woody Allen on the McList I think I think he might be on the Mick list time we'll talk about it the Epstein Mick list. It's a lot of overlap. Do you ever

like do you ever eat fast food? I know, hey, is you fully plant based now? You don't eat any means? I eat fish. You eat fish, okay. Yeah. And what's your pescatarian? You're pescatarian. What is your meat and subject, Sean? Oh, I eat meat. I eat meat a lot. Yeah. I'm going to have some ground beef later tonight. Hell yeah.

What do you wait? What are you doing? Tacos? Oh, no. Just a big pan of ground beef. A little bit of seasoning on. it and a sweet potato that's dinner twice a week twice a week that sounds good and an arugula salad little shaped parmesan so avocado and balsamic dressing i like the peppery taste of arugula i love isn't it nice it is very nice they were sold out of arugula today at the grocery store they had to go to a second grocery store wow can you tell us the grocery store without doxing

yourself well first i went to the whole foods next to the grove okay no arugula i mean first of all we want she wants I have a wife she wants the organic girl Urugula that's the best brand sure but we'll get the other one if that sold out I mean I'm telling you not a speck of the stuff in the store

wow like eggs here on the way home I stopped at the um Trader Joe's it's gonna be that Labor Day rush I'm sure a lot of a Ruggula three day weekend yeah people must have been yeah making a lot of Arugula mm-hmm mm-hmm so yeah that

happened but the peppery taste you know, can't beat it. Yeah, it's sort of number one green for me. With a vegetable, you don't expect that. Number one green. Number one with a bullet, arugula. Do you mean of all green vegetables?

Or do you mean of like salad green? Oh, it does it have to be green? Of salad greens. Salad greens, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of all the different lettuce. I'll take it over baby spinach, which I also like. But anything else. When it comes to green vegetables, what are there outside of lettuces?

I mean, a green tomato. Broccoli, right. You got asparagus. Broccoli is good. You got green beans. You got snappy. he got out of me there sounds like there's a lot of them there's a whole sort of bean there's a whole pot choy area of it bok choy's not bad the carrots uh the carrot top is green as well

well carrot top yeah ironically yeah carrot top has red hair but the top of the carrot bottom well his his top is a carrot his top is a carrot it's not that he shares the same top as a carrot right that is a great question is not a carrot bottom it's not a question oh sorry because i do You're right, I think of holding the carrot by the point. It's the end of the carrot, in my mind, when I think of a typical Bugs Bunny eating the carrot, the end of the carrot is, he's eating at this one, he's not, you know, he's not cutting off the- But the end is eithing of the butt end. Yes, yeah, yeah.

It's rounded like a buttock as well. So the end is the end of the bottom or is at the top? I guess that's the big question. Well, that's what we've been talking about for a little while. Well, we're in it now, you know, I don't see any way out of it. but I eat I eat me I eat all the different meats yeah I'll have you know name of meat I'll tell you if I've had it fork yeah a little alpasteur okay veal tongue I don't know if I've ever eaten it I want I've tried tongue like I've had like a tongue sandwich I shouldn't say the person

I wanted to dinner last night and I was with a few people and and one of them I'll list off some of the people there are carl was there your our friend carl tart uh gabris okay so it was a group thing i when you told me you had dinner with carl last night i actually thought it was like a one-on-one dinner and i was like wow these guys are hanging out i would have a one-on-one i know you would i was just a little surprised that it that had happened you want to do like a lunch this week me and you i would love to is that real sure you know we watched some celtics games together and it felt like a good bonding moment. And then maybe what happened?

We're pluralizing the singular event, but yeah. I came more than once. I did come more than, I came twice, I believe. All right. But I think the pandemic maybe happened. In your own little cat ranch, by the way, is that okay to say? Yeah, it's funny. Wounded creatures.

We're both cat. We're both cat fans. We're big cat guys. Got two cats. comparing himself up to my guy here come on man I help save cats occasionally I do too I got two new ones now I was trying to find homes for him

now I got two more fucking cats you do more he says that's your that's your total number of cats what's the cat count what he just got on it's at five it had gone up to seven yeah yeah then one was like a neighborhood cat we were taking care of who

who moved away actually was like taken away right um then three of them have died in the past whatever for four or five years it's okay it's part of life um uh so then we were down to three and then someone dropped off four at our doorstep neighborhood guy who does a lot of cat rescue was like can we can i keep these here like until we do the adoption events get them vaccinated and so i drove them to get vaccinated and fixed and all that and then two of them got adopted pretty quickly and then the other two just as time ticked by you just start to go oh I think these are my cats now yeah sure so now we're back up to five wow they're beautiful creatures cats little carrot tops these new ones I'm gonna be

in trouble because I did a podcast I was you know do you ever go home from a podcast and you go wish I didn't say that thing people aren't going to like it I think every day so that's that's how I live they're like we don't you're right we hated that they don't oh it's actually actually much worse than you thought you thought we just didn't like it well you will be paying for this i did the stores podcast recently we can plug it it hasn't come out i guess it on the stores podcast as well but we'd covered and i mean i haven't gotten asked here i'll spoil them they'll probably be mad and we did we did petco and i said that i had been warned that once you have children your relationship to your cats changes to where they're a little bit more like get these fucking

things out of my face really and i i love them Like because, you know, I, they are my pets and I've cared for them and all that. But there are so many more moments of the day where you're like, this too. Oh, no. Do you find that, Hayes? Yeah, because they like, are like mushing their face into your face. Bath time in our house is actually the worst because I'm like trying to navigate. Are you talking about cats or children?

I'm confused. It's so interesting that you say that. We're actually talking about both cats and children. We're talking about the combination of having a child and a cat. So you're actually right on by invoking both children and cats. When you were saying that they were mushing their face into your face, I didn't know if you meant children. And then when you said bathtub, I assumed children.

The cats are doing that. So you're trying to do something else. Cats get in front of whatever the thing is that you're like trying to do in my experience. If you're reading a book, they'll sit on the book. Yeah. Yeah. If you're eating, they'll be like, even if they don't want the food, they want to have their face like in the place.

like in the plate where the food is to be like is there anything here i could enjoy and when it's just cats in the house you're like oh yeah this is so much better than just like the book being alone or having a book yeah yeah yeah but now with like something you're trying to do that is like sometimes precarious and slippery or whatever and they're like how about i like get in the mix what if i was weaving in and out of your ankles while you were like trying to carry a child stairs you're just like you want to kick it well I good so I'm bringing up something on a I did on a smaller podcast no one was going to hear

I brought I said something that I regretted saying because I was like animal lovers will be mad at me and now I've just put it on a much bigger platform but I've rotate we can delete this too if you'd like I don't think animal lovers would matter I think you're just being you're being candid you're just still like loving cat parents You care for cats so much. Yeah, just talking about that complicated relationship with them. Like, to change this.

To lose some other people on the other side of the spectrum, the other side of the coin is there's a certain amount of your kids getting bitten that you just accept. Oh, sure. Yeah. It's just like up to a point, like once a month, I feel like my kid could just get a skin breaking bite or scratch from a little scratch. A little scratch. A scratch more common, I think, but it'll be. like they'll be you know going to touch the cat or bother the cat

when the cat wants to be left alone you'll be like no do that okay well this is how we learn not to do that yeah that's a good learning experience for children I believe also by the way I had a paralyzing fear of a finish of that no I was just going to say that I think a part of the reason I'm not a big reader is because every time I do get out a book

the cats will sit on them I'll just say do your thing and I'll kind of I'll drop the book put down this copy of James Joyce's I'm sitting across from you first of all I hear you say you're not a big reader and I just about fell off the cat I said well there's got to be some kind of explanation for this

well the cat now I'm piecing it together myself yeah there had to be a third party involved that was stopping you yeah yeah yeah because they do get they'll get on your book but look I don't have I haven't had a child and probably this is also by the reason I haven't had a child is that I like my relationship with my cats

and I don't want that to change too much I still am kissing them and if they're getting in my face, I am very much loving it. They've been very sweet lately, but while he did, he scratched me the other day. He broke, broke skin. He was playing around with him a little too much. I was going to say, I had a paralyzing fear of dogs for most of my childhood because one of my earliest memories, I was three years old. I was at my brother's friend's house, and there was a dog there, and I said, doggy. And she ran up and bit me on the face. basically it like tear it like just like just just a bite mark from underneath my eye

all the way down to like the corner of my mouth oh my god just this huge like bloody gash opened up and i'm actually surprised when you said doggy right now that jemmy didn't do the same thing to you it's very off-putting and they almost did it and then my dad got his camera and took a picture wow which i think was to document it i think was to document it for the er but it did feel like he was kind of like I got a picture this. This wasn't a time

when you had a phone that you could just take a picture easily. It was a process to go and get the camera. Wise I have one team to write off your NFL list the Browns. You do not want to be a Browns fan.

Why is that? The dog power. They have a bunch of a... Oh, the dog power. Well, no, I love that. You could have given me a hundred years. Yeah.

I've come around to like loving dogs now. I was very scared of them for a while. I mean, Gemmy is one of the best dogs in the world, as we all know. she doesn't um do i have mic face yes i do do i have my face all the time but uh

Mitch is referring to the micch is referring the microphone blocking his his visage there we go i fixed it i do it yeah i i intentionally will get it a little bit in front because i like to tantalize there are some people that say if if you got if i got mike face i'm not put in the i don't

want the video let him use their imagination a little bit that's kind of how i feel too i don't like people seeing my face I like to fill in the gap. I grew up, you know, it's just generated the internet and all the pornography they look at. They're so used to having the whole thing shown to them right away. There used to be a little mystery, a little magic. I agree with that.

I actually do agree with that. There's no more, there's not a much magic in the world anymore, Wags. I think that children, you know, like a, when I was a boy, I was afraid of, you know, Halloween time, I was afraid of monsters and spirits and things like that. Sure. With the phone, I think children think that's silly stuff now. I don't think that there is afraid of that anymore. You don't think there's any sort of curiosity about the paranormal.

That's kind of gone away. I disagree. I feel like people are still engaged by that. I just feel like when sightings was on in the 90s, it felt like, oh, the truth, you know, the truth felt like it was out there. Now I feel like we don't care. Or we know enough and we're jaded. Oh, do you not think that society has any sort of like. Something that was on in the 90s where the truth is out there, I think of sightings.

That's number one for me as well. That's what I associate is the 90s cultural icon about the truth being out there. I think you're right. There's not really any, like, conspiracy theories or sort of, like, alternate ideas that people latch on to in the same way. It used to be with sightings. Yes, yeah. Something that was entertained. And now it's like we've all kind of agreed on this one version of reality. We're in lockstep.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, things, there are some, it's not as fun as it used to be, I guess you could say. The world, do you mean? Maybe I just was wrong on this point. Maybe I could have been wrong. It's possible. Yeah, I'm having less fun for sure, at least right now. But is that, is that, is that, well, are we getting older?

Is the fun, is fun dissipating as you grow older? I'm sure there's part of that, yeah, sure. But also, the world doesn't seem as fun. No, I mean, I think there's, the world seems maybe a little bit more miserable. Let's bring that fun back. Right. Well, you, I mean, like, I had kids, so to see, you could instead of say, like kids aren't scared of monsters anymore. Do you want to

know what kids are? Yeah. They actually are really scared of it. Oh, they still are friends of monsters. It's one of the scariest things to kids is monsters. It's still monsters? It's monsters. My daughter's really scared of Mufasa for sure. Okay. But Mufasa is the good lion. But he growls in the beginning.

Got it. At Scar. Yeah. She's like, I don't like when he's mad at Scar like that. We have, Scar hasn't earned. For us, Scar hasn't earned to be treated like that. I guess he didn't show up for Simba like being born Yeah is that is this is this from the Lion King too is this from from the new lion king yes simba is born in the Lion King too yes that's right

That's when we kind of get to the Simba yeah the Simba being born is in the line really good question I think most of us probably knew the answer but yeah Lion King two is when simba is born and when you first meet Mufasa Who's Browna famously survives the first movie yeah So in the sequel, you know, he's all over, he's growling. The Lufasa's Carr dynamic and Simba's birth is really established. James Earl Jones, for those that don't know, did the voice of Mufa in the... Oh, fun fact.

Yeah, a fun fact. That's cool. I like the name Scar. That's a good name. It is a good name, but he is, I guess what I was confused about here is, I haven't watched the movie in a while. So I'll admit that I slipped a little bit here on it. There is a lot. A little bit of cult on your part.

Who voices him, who voices Scar? Is it a, that's a real, it's a good, Jeremy Irons. Oh, it's a, it's a, that's great. Home run out of the park vocal performance. Oh, he's so good. Have we made, has there been a children's movie as good as Lion King since line? It's, in the modern day. I mean, I'd argue you spirited away for sure.

That's one of my daughter's favorites. Wow. I love that. Like, there's just the ones you develop a tolerance for watching, like, hundreds and hundreds of times. Moana One. absolutely i like like i think moana one is great yeah moana two sucks yeah so i just tell her we don't have that that's great we're out of moana two uh in the house should i i'm should i retell the patreon story of taking my kids to bad guys two the other day did we clip it i don't think so

it's very it's very quick but that so can we flip it my you can do it anything you want it's your show um uh so we went to i took them to bad guys too in the theater quick version is my daughter wanted to leave there wasn't that much of the movie left my son still wanted to see the end of it so i took my daughter outside to like face time with my wife and like kind of like keep her chilled out for a little bit and i told him to just watch just inside the door in like the aisle next to the seats so i could see him and i was like when the movie's over just come out and we'll all leave and so I'm hanging outside my son walks

out of the movie and he was like he was like okay I'm ready to go and I was like the movie's over it seemed a little bit early and he's like yeah it's over and I was like well what happened and he goes like they died I go I go what he goes yeah bad guys died I go sorry

wait tell me like what exactly happened he's going well it's the rocket chip exploded and the bad guys are dead. And the last thing I saw was just like, everybody on the ground was just, you know, being sacked because all the bad guys are dead. And I go, go back in. And he was like, what? And I was like, go back in. They're not dead. And he was like, I saw him explode. And I was like, go back in. So he walks back in. He's inside for like 30 seconds. Just the door pushes open. He leads out. He's like, have you seen this before? No, he's like, how'd you know? He goes, they're not even, they have, like, band-aids. They're not even, like, that hurt.

So, funny. Just, like, so chilling how fine he was with it. He's like, man, they're fucking dead. I like that he decided. He was like, all right, things are wrapped up here. I can just head out. Yeah, all right. Just fucking start the car.

brother that is very that's beautiful story you know what there is still some magic in the world likes yeah we were just a second ago saying that you know kind of with the you know we're not in the sightings era anymore maybe magic has disappeared from the world but it seems like it's still here there's some magic there's still so magic he was referencing yeah yeah he was remembering that conversation yeah yeah yeah right yes no no I don't want to be given him to you know him better than I yeah yeah yeah I took that to be a reference yeah Does he, though? Yes.

He might just be saying now that he was remembering it, but Lags was tuning into like, he's saying that he's vaguely remembering something, that area, but. Yeah. Sometimes I think these two would hit it off. They ever really put the work in, yeah. I think the ball, I think the four of us need a project. I think we'll, oh my God, wouldn't that be nice? It would be. Wouldn't it be nice?

Your clout. Couldn't launch the group chat again, but I think, uh, We'll get that group chat humming. What is everyone's morning, like, routine as far as food is concerned? Because we're always talking about a coffee chain, but also a chain that people are going more likely to frequent, like, first thing in the morning. Does it have to be morning? No, it doesn't. I mean, well, I don't know, whenever you wake, I'll, like, whatever. I'll start.

Go ahead. I get myself some black coffee and I go and a little walk around the neighborhood. And then if, you know, very often I'll just have like a bowl of oatmeal with some fruit or maybe some. cottage cheese with some fruit just I usually eat you know eat a light like you know sub a sub 400 calorie sort of breakfast just to get a get a start on the day okay I can go next uh so I get up at 659 6501 minute before seven mm-hmm that's what my alarm is set for why 659 uh you know I you're making me ask myself some tough questions So you can say you get up before seven every day.

I understand it. It feels earlier. Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah, that I'm like, I need to get a jump on things. It feels way earlier than seven. Yeah, way early. So my kids have these hatchlights. That was a sponsor at one point.

They have these hatchlights that turn, change colors and stop making white noise at 715. So I have 15 minutes to feed the dogs. Two dogs. Two dogs, five cats. Two dogs. Feed the two dogs. two dogs feed the three older cats and then the two younger cats who are kittens so they have different food oh my god i get all them fed we bought a zoo then maybe we start then we maybe we

start breakfast for the kids yeah and so then you know we're putting in today was there was cinnamon raisin toast peanut butter for him she usually wants cream cheese today didn't want it plain then we're cutting up some fruit we're making lunch for school i will have a black coffee a blue bottle iced coffee a can the bold not the bright i will drink that and then i might have just like an ozi bite or like a little like uh sort of like granola like an energy bar kind of bar what is it or if it's a workout day they're a little like you know tiny like muffany granola looking things got it um if it's a workout day i'm gonna have a think bar a peanut butter think bar okay which for you that's my protein most days are

workout day come on Mitch you flatter me no uh it's only two days still pretty good um and that's my breakfast and that so there's not a big like breakfast thing going right sure yeah i wake up with the the first kid whoever the first kid is who wakes up well they wake you up yeah we got the monitor on uh yeah um and it's the boy it's always the boy And so I'll, you know, just like hang out with him for a little while. But I make breakfast and for, you know, all the families out there, the breakfast that I've discovered that is a real crowd pleaser is a Dutch baby. Okay.

Which is like an egg, very egg intensive, like pancake. Mmm. Comes out of the oven, all puffed up. It sort of has like a popover effect. You can do a savory one. like we mostly do with like syrup and berries and stuff but like that cuts up like a pizza like kind of like a breakfast pizza for the whole family um so that's like probably three three mornings a week uh i'll do a big big dutch baby that that feeds the whole house wow and the cast iron it's really nice like it you cook it in the oven um but yeah that's a big that's a big breakfast are you getting caffeinated first thing in the morning yes i do and so i used to i feel like i i i Not introduced you to the blue bottle cuties. I used to have those all the time.

But I was very taken aback by the discovery that those have like 250 milligrams of caffeine. Oh boy. For something so small. Right. I mean, that's shocking. Yeah. And then I like the Stumptown ones. I need to feel sick.

Same thing. I mean like that was the problem. I wasn't reacting to it hardly at all. Sure. a normal dose and I would have like three more cups throughout the day. Stumptown once, too, are like $275. And so I have switched to either like just the drip machine or if that's, ours is broken a lot.

And so I use the groundwork cans. Yeah. The bitches brew. It's just what it's called. I was, like, as far as my home coffee brewing, I was doing the French press for a bit. And then I was like, this is just kind of cumbersome. And I actually wasn't to get super satisfied with the consistency of my cup of coffee. So I still, I fresh grind the beans.

I have that encore grinder. And then I just have a, I have a ninja drip maker now, which is like, this thing is fucking good. This gets the job done. Don't you feel like the French press used to be, and I'm fine with skipping match if we all are. I mean, if the three of us are good with it. It just feels like we're maybe headed in the direction of skipping Mitch. And I just want to make sure, like, a wave of us are good. washed over me when Wager started talking

then I said okay good he's feeling it as well I was feeling that too yeah because I could feel literally loading up for his answer and he had been like does it have to be the morning and then it was just like okay this guy's got a monologue locked and loaded and I just like I just on the French press doesn't it feel like that used to be more of a thing at restaurants

even like six years ago where they would bring out the little thing and be like give that a couple minutes yeah just give that a couple minutes and then push it down now I mean you never see a French press anymore I did see that they there was a movie theater that had one of the lamely theaters had a French press you order a cup of coffee

there which was kind of nice but yeah it's it's it's it can be good yeah I used to do a French press a you know a million years ago then I had a cold brew maker I was making my own cold brew it just fell out of fashion and a cycle of anyway okay I feel like I'm ready for

I take Alexa pro every morning And then I sit around usually And I wait to order Jersey mics Yeah That's kind of it But you've never been a caffeine guy in the morning You've never been a coffee guy I don't in fact I drank a coffee today for the episode

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In preparing for this podcast, I listened to an episode of a show that page portals. Port, the president of Dear Media did with Josh Zad. That's right. The president of Alfred Coffey. And it was exactly this format. The show is called Diddle, Day in the Life. It's just an acronym. I like it.

Yeah. And you just like walk up, like, successful, driven people talk about their days. Page Port, the sister of. Whitney Port. Correct. Wow. Whitney Port. The city.

Yes. and he wakes up between 7 and 715 every day on average and first thing he has to do every day is have his coffee I'm a little surprised Zad having the end

we're talking about Alfred Coffee today which is found in 2013 by the aforementioned Josh Zad on Melrose Place in West Hollywood which is a shortening of his his actual name is not Josh Gad his full name is Josh Gad and he named it for his father I'm in a fantasy football league with Josh Gad.

Oh, wow. Have you disclosed this publicly before? I don't know if you have, yeah. I'm in a fantasy football league with Josh Gad. What we could go on up ahead to head with him? Do you think you could be in like a porn parody of some guy as Josh Zad? No, for a couple reasons. There is a couple, yeah.

I mean, I'm an actor, so I would think about any role. So that's not one of them. That's not one of the things I could do. I was trying to think of what you call him, and all I could land on was Josh Lode. It wouldn't be Josh Lode. No. Josh Gad would be Jeff, Josh Lode. Josh Nads, yeah, maybe Josh.

Josh Wad. Josh Nad is better. Zad and Zaddy, like it's kind of there, but it's Josh Nad. Josh Nad, yeah. Josh Wad is pretty good, too. I like Josh Wad. If Wad rhymed with Gad, it would be a natural fit, but it doesn't. I'm going to destroy Gad when I go head to head with him.

We'll see what happens. I was in a fantasy league with you guys and it has two dozen locations Wager's talking Sorry

Alfred is Batman's Butler And you know what Yeah you know That's true You know Show all the preparation I did To just give a good product

For the listener But that is Today The explanation That Josh Zad provides For why the chain Is called Alfred Coffee It's Batman

Because of the association With Alfred the butler. However Hayes did some digging. In the early years of the chain Yes. The story was different. It was named after the fact that the first

franchise was on Alfred Street in West Hollywood. It seemed to have shifted over time. It's technically on Melrose Place. That's where the first one is. And like, I mean this is some of the most expensive a show. Andrew Shoeh.

And what? not be surprised like you corny thornton smith no so he comes from a commercial real estate family and he was in commercial real estate and you can kind of tell like with the locations they choose yeah this is part of the process can i help you i had an older sister she loved melrose place i watched some of it well thank god i'm so glad we we got that off 9 out 210 melrose place uh watched quite a bit of those for my older sister friends too and uh if you i don't know i don't know i don't I don't know, I don't know if you got, do you, any of you have big sisters? Yeah.

You got a big sister. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. All right. You and I got a lot in common, except there's a lot of different things, too. I'm looking forward to this lunch, man. We're going to fucking get, we're going to get to all of it. But not here, okay?

We've had great, we have had great solo times together. You and me. Yeah. It's true. What happened? Where? When he hung up, we hung up, we've hung up, we've gotten lunch together. We, we've gotten, we've hung out.

yeah and we got a and we've got a lunch that we haven't landed it on the calendar yet but it seems like it might happen this week i want it to happen yeah i like to hang out with you maybe a movie i would love i would love to see a movie with you in fact if you wanted to bring children that's also fine oh okay there's not much in the theater for them now okay felt like i had some really interesting stuff to say about i was engaged the restaurant yeah i know you were but like i know that's not what the audience wants. Like, they want this. They want to hear Mitch.

They want to hear Mitch. They like the info. They want to hear Mitch say that I could bring my kids. Please, can you continue about, I'm sorry that I detoured with Melrose Place. What were you saying? The guy that started this chain also start, it's an L.A. chain. Yes. Yeah.

Started Melrose Place. He also started Cali Dad beer. with Adrian Gonzalez. Wow. That's his like he was like co-founder of that company. That was in like 2018. But it's like kind of a branding and commercial real estate exercise this chain. I don't like that as much.

The coffee is not like Alfred Coffee. It's stump town. Right. So it's like not a specific like coffee experience they're selling. The proprietary thing is the vanilla syrup. That's like the one thing that they really. like push is like this is Alfred

their world famous vanilla latte your your your story here this information here has made me like this place less and I don't think that that was you thought you were getting Alfred brand coffee

I am yes I and they may have like their own thing now our own roasting method I don't think they roast anything but I think they do have like some kind of blank label other coffee they use in addition to Stump Town

but for the first like eight years of it it was stumped out. But you're viewing as more of a cynical exercise. Yes, this is a little bit, this is a little bit of the magic

has gone away from this place. As it carries a magic for you. Today when I was tasting it, I was like, this is pretty good. You know, that's where my head was at, but then hearing all this,

the tech and the, you know, a project and a bullshit. What I associate them with actually is. First thing. Were you listening at all? I think you said some tech. They were,

you know, the project. I think they, They curate though, don't they? I mean, because you could get Uncle Pauley sandwiches there for a long time, which I used to order occasionally because they were so much closer to me than Uncle Pauley's and they had like pre-made the sandwich that I liked from there. So I would get it because there's an Alfred at the Line Hotel, which is closer to where I live than Uncle Pauley's in West Hollywood. So I also Notice today that the breakfast burrito they have

Is from Wake and late Which is I think now I only just tried it last week I think it's the best breakfast burrito in Los Angeles It's very good It's not my favorite but it is very good Excellent Amelia got one but they were they were out of It's the second week in a row

She's gotten something that looks like Trump's hand We were saying that the burrito kind of looked like Trump's hand It was the it was the veggie though The vegan breakfast burrito And I thought that it was not bad. It wasn't great, though. Okay, that's not the one I'm talking about. Yeah.

But these are all, like, they have Zabs hot sauce in there, which, like, these are all L.A. brands that came out of the gate with a little extra josh. And notably, we just say they now have vesty sandwiches or buddy Adam Gertwood's sandwich. And we love those vesting sandwiches. We do. Yeah. Yeah, so they're carrying a different sandwich now, which I noticed today, too. And they used to have what they called.

a bodega breakfast sandwich and it was on like a now you come from New York City where the bodegas are running wild it's true it's true he thinks he thinks that that's like a

Latino woman so like a store it's a place where you I don't think that bodega's there sometimes or equal or something like bodega is a store where you buy food

the bodegas are running wild in New York City You can go there late and have a A breakfast roll Give me the You don't want to know what that is Well, anyway, they had this sandwich And I used to get it pretty often I really thought it was a very good breakfast sandwich

But it's gone away now But it had a good like Sort of chili sauce on it And it was just a bacon egg and cheese Which by the way is weirdly more rare Here in L.A. than you'd think That is very true. York, it's literally every single 10

feet. Yes, of the bodegas, like I was saying that, uh, it's not what you were saying, but it's true. That's it. I got the Chagachino, by the way. Chagachino. We say what we all got. Yeah, well, just as we're talking about, like, they don't have a signature coffee, but this is, they have their

world famous vanilla latte, which he mentioned, but they also have a chagachino. Come on, boys, you don't forget how the show goes. We, of course we discuss. us all the items. A blend of wild foraged chaga mushroom, cacao, cinnamon, vanilla, and monk fruit topped with Alfred espresso and milk.

And these are, you see these in more and more places and they have the little standy, the chagacchino standee at all of them. I think it's some kind of third party provider that's like, hey, you want to sell chagachinos? I can't, the mushroom infused.

Like, I just, I don't know. I'm skittish about it. I haven't tried yet. Oh, you're not adaptogenic. Yeah. And it's obvious looking at you. Yeah. You're not maximizing what could be happening upstairs here.

I could see myself order a Chagachino. Well, I mean, I just drank one. Oh. Do you want what's going on right here? No, Mitch, let Mitch talk about the theoretical world where he, yeah, Mitch, you take, you cover the Chagachino. I could see myself ordering that. I could see saying, hmm, this is very different than a regular cappuccino. but there's an earthy flavor to it

there's some mushroom elements in here what else could have happened and then also I could have gotten it I maybe dropped it and spilled it I never even got to try it immediately in his fantasy where his wildest fantasies

I did spill it in top could be anything you want could happen Mitch I know what I do I just screw it all up what would happen you would spill it but it's like chicken or the egg like go ahead I did spill an entire coffee and an Alfred once. I was holding a fucking garment bag.

It was so embarrassing. I dropped the whole fucking thing on the floor. Oh, man. My- to help me out, get a bar-tell. My biggest association with Alfred for a while was that when Kauai signed with the Clippers, you remember what I'm going to say? I mentioned this the intro, yeah.

Yeah, that they were like, no one from the Clippers is allowed to drink Alfred coffee or whatever. They like, they playfully banned Paul George and Kauai Leonard. Yeah, they said they couldn't have, they couldn't have

Alfred Coffey because Josh Zad, I guess is a big Lakers fan. Oh. And he said, and it didn't feel that playful to me. It felt very aggressive. Well, that's what I put the playfully, in quote. So then I posted that I had found a fingernail in my latte at Alfred Coffee playfully as well. And I didn't go there for a little while, but I have another memory from going there,

which is I was there getting a coffee when I worked on the CBS lot. Okay. There's an Alfred right there. I had walked out of the lot into there with an executive, a studio executive. Ooh, which one? Now I got to drop names.

Alec Botnick. Wow, Botnick. So I'm with Botnick. And we're at the front of the line. He's buying me a coffee. From the back of the line, somebody goes, oh my God, Sean Clements.

I love Hollywood Hamburg. I'm a huge fan. And I was just like, I'm about to be so rich Now this guy knows I have a built-in fan base This is perfect This is the Hollywood dream It's great

It was incredible and so thank you to the fans And obviously keep if you see me With a studio executive like that Keep coming up to me And if I'm alone, leave me alone Did you guys both go to the Silver Lake one as well? Yes, that's where we picked up from We picked it up from there

just the fucking rhythms of the show i was i was i was i was picking that up yeah emilia i was i was getting a vibe that you didn't go at all okay i mean i had been to alfred coffee a number of times that would be too much to talk about you two stir the pot quite a bit i i hate to say this but you two may be the devil incarnate both of you the offer was extended to our guess as it always is of like we could pick the food up for you, you both chose to go on your own, which was above and beyond, and yeah. That was above and beyond. It was just a long way from the shrimp off, huh?

I had a lovely interaction. The show's changed. It's different. No, people do complain about it. What are you going to do? Wait, what do you mean? I think we're still doing okay. We're doing fine. It's, I think this is, I'm having a fun. What would heal all of this?

Is the shrimp off too? Is ending the show? God, man. It would fix everything. Well, it'd be a real shot in the arm for the last few episodes, and then that's how people would remember it. That is true. But couldn't we do that next year?

No, I think you've got to do it now. You're talking. Look, it's the wrong... It's the wrong time to talk to this, man. You could talk him into it. You could talk. We had to do it very easily. I think the... I've been...

I've been... I've been... I'm not going to have to be a correspondent on Hollywood Handbook. Well, look, like, I... I went to the Silver Lake one He went to the one at the Lion Hotel in Curia Town Studio City, Melrose Place There's one of like LAX but like

And there's now one on York In Highland Park And like this chain now Like represents something When it shows up in a neighborhood Starbucks that used to be like Oh this is like a symbol of like The neighbor gentrifying or whatever

But like with Alfred You're completely on the other side of that process and it's now like a high high end investment opportunity. Same thing happened with Abbott Kinney in Venice is just like another fancy fancy pants stretching. I guarantee there is one

there is one now yeah. Does Starbucks is that a gentrifying thing still with Starbucks or the time to move? I don't think it still has that. Starbucks moves in you got to get out of that neighborhood now. Is that what it is or no? Anyway you think no no no you think a Starbucks moving in would draw something that would make

you or some fictional person you're thinking about would move out of the neighborhood first of Starbucks then the bodegas that's Mitch's whole philosophy Starbucks is so omnipresent I feel like it's like a subway franchise it doesn't say anything necessarily it's just like they're just everywhere

I've never liked Starbucks you know this about me In fact, you know, the one I like the most... So brave. Coffee. I'm a show about talking about food. Shane restaurants. I like Dunkin's the most, of course. But coffee bean and tea leaf as far as like the L.A. sort of brands, I like coffee

bean. I don't need more than that. I will say... You're also, again, though, you're not a coffee drinker. So this is the kind of, like, thing, like, you're not going out on too far of a limb here. You, like, you don't... It's easier for you to abstain from a coffee chain. It's like asking Moby, what's the best steakhouse?

I don't need, look, I thought that this coffee was really good. It reminds me of the first time I had an intelligentsia, and I was like, this is a very well-made coffee. What did you get? Just a black coffee? I got a latte. Oh, from here today? We've never reviewed intelligence. Did you think he was asking about intelligentsia?

Yeah, the first time I got intelligency, and I did remember. And it was a latte, and it was very good. But today, you got a latte as well? No, today I did. No, a latte. I did a bit of ice, the famous ice film. That's what I got too. Yeah.

I also got one of those. I got it hot. The drink that put us on the map. Thank God I'm here. Real vanilla bean syrup layered with milk and finished with Alfred Espresso. I think this some bitch is very tasty. I mean, like this is thing, I just don't need this much sugar in a coffee drink. And it's exactly what I would say even about my chagicino, which is I drank it.

Yeah. I think it's nice. I don't get drinks that sweet. I don't, I had it. You covered it for the show Just because you Could imagine ordering it I actually drank one today

That's actually why we were talking about it We should have heard from you on this That's how it came up That's how you got the idea That you could possibly Yeah I didn't have it You should have talked about it more So you listed

It's like cinnamon Vanilla Monk Fruit Yes And so that's three sweeteners basically And cacao Four sweeteners

I just don't need that much sweet in my drink. It's not what I want. Now, I got an extra shot. Okay. What is a month? I got a 3x. Oh, and so for me, they said, we pulled doubles. I know. That is usually what you'll be told is like, I don't know why I agreed to that. I didn't want two extra shots, but she was like, it's the same price. I was okay. So I got a quad, which I didn't mean to do. Wow. Yeah. That happens most places where if you want another shot, they just say, well, it's always a double shot, you know, and so you're paid the same. even if you have them do a half i'm looking i just looked up a monk fruit

not the most attractive of fruits sure some of them you look at well i'm not fucking the thing right now like some of these fruits you know it's look if it's looking just right i mean it looks like an old lime if it don't get me wrong i i i love i'm not trying to offend you know people who love from old lime we get it right yeah right that's the world out here i grew up near there. A lot of ticks. There's a lot of well yeah, that's where Lyme disease comes

from, babe. You ever see Lyme? Is it from Lyme or old lime? Because there's lime too. Yeah. I was so much more familiar with Old Lyme as a town in Connecticut that I think of it as being from there, but

yeah. Did you have the latte experience where the person that was working in the was very nice. It could have used a shake. Yes. My first, my first sip was a hundred percent. Because ours all came like that, like, layered almost. Yeah, it seemed, it's like striated in this way that is like difficult to undo.

Yeah. It's kind of. They're too busy with you. You're either having just like pure espresso or pure syrup. But I think it goes back to like this is a, you know, as a, as a business plan is like, I think we're a marketing standpoint that's very grammable, you know, like, especially you get, Like the one that there's the strawberry drink they've had, which I've had before, which is yummy, but that one is, like, super, like, distinctly layered and, like, yeah, photographs well. They're too, you know, shake it up. Yeah, they're too invested in their development and their tech enterprises to shake that dang thing up.

But look, it does, it looks nice. When you do see it from afar, it looks nice. It is, it's grammable. I'm sure that we'll get a lot of likes on the Instagram post, which is nice. If I could make a one, one. That is good. We do want that. Yes.

If I could make one observation about it that, I don't think anyone has mentioned yet. The layering is sort of aesthetically pleasing in a way that's grammable. Yeah. Yeah. And it looks nice. Yeah. So for Instagram, websites like this, you know, apps, you can, you can see it. Right.

And I think that that is part of, you know, why they probably do it is, you know, for Graham. Some inherent visual appeal, yeah. Can I just say this? Yeah, the look of it. Yeah. Since we last had you guys on, the podcast space has opened up more into Instagram world, YouTube. If you're not doing it, if you're not doing video, you're behind. That could actually be, I think, why they layer the drink that way.

Oh, yeah. Because of the visual element of it. Well, because of the way, yes, marketing has changed and everything where, like to have a picture of it to put a picture of it online social media Instagram yeah right we're just I mean we're even the context of this discussion if this were a clip we would have like photographs of the beverages you'd sit it on there it'd be a visual representation of it not just the audio of the drink yeah there might be a lot of thumbs up on that video which is also nice yeah I mean that's what that's a thing we're looking for that's a way people

express approval you know and you think of a thumbs up as a physical thing you do with your hand but now even that's online even that can be put it's that's grammable in its own way I'll give this video a thumbs up right now all right that's a perfect clip

that's a pretty good clip or a YouTube short there's a lot of different as a drum we also got some lemonade's Mitch regular lemonade can't go wrong with a classic don't know about that because regular lemonade wasn't really drink yeah that was pretty bad

What was bad about it? Or you don't have to say, you can just say it was bad. There might be it was a rotten lemon. You think that the lemon was rotten. God. Well, it tastes, I mean, like, I... This guy, yeah, fucking old lime and the rotten lemon. This guy's something to fuck for once.

Yeah. Somebody get this man a sexy citrus? I there was a little overly acidic. I didn't love it. A ruby red grapefruit, man. I know what that looks like to Mitch. You think the lemon was... You're giving them so much credit that they even had like a lemon back there that, like, they made this.

this out of. I think they use it as a base for their other lemonade. So, like, they kind of plan on mixing other shit in there, so it tasted a little like... There was something just a little bit weird about it. Um, but I, I did like the cherry, uh... The cherry lemonade. Zing, pow, Morello cherries, lemonade and a dash of vanilla and orange come together to create

the perfect refreshing summer sip. Yeah, I thought this was nice. Bing, pow, and that's... At Alfred's. It was, like, you hear all these components, you expected to be overly sweet. But I think hear the acid from the lemonade, like, kind of contrasted that enough where it was... It was fine, and the cherry was really dominant, which is what I wanted from a cherry lemon.

Can I just take, right? Yeah. Are you guys having a good time? This is your break, man. I don't want to ruin it for you. I want to check. So you want me to cut that out of that? No, no, that break.

No, it could, no, it's just like a, you know. Yeah. It's just a quick break from the one set that the Wagger was saying. I just take a quick break from listening to you. I was like what this chain feels like to me I feel very catered to not me personally but it feels like they're doing a lot of like market research

on like what's the thing? Yeah right guys like me corny white guys like me I got like I don't particularly like the flavor I just want to see what the deal was they have a macha croissant Yes I also got a macha croissant I looked at it God I took a long hard look at that I mean and it's when it's a croissant

flavoring it's just green tea It doesn't feel like macha specific in this version. When it said like filled with our famous matcha chocolate, I went, well, that's a chocolate croissant. And it wasn't. I didn't taste chocolate at all. There was some chocolate nugs in there, but it was, it was pretty muted. The matcha was pretty overwhelming.

But like what they're testing out does not feel like it's part of any larger brand identity other than like this is some of the stuff that's hot right now. Right. This is what you like, right? Yeah. Also looks like a little mold. I know that I you know it just looks like a little moldy croissant with the matcha it doesn't work visually it doesn't it's not grammable Mitch just seeing mold and like rotting spots on everything

It's ever since long COVID realized that he thinks that everything looks sick and rotten to him I I didn't love the macha croissant I just thought it was like it was a but this is a cool thing like this is part of the issue that I run into these places and it we ran into with Phil's last week Mitch is that we're inadvertently doing two third wave coffee places that started in California in a row but like like the the when we did out with Phil's I was like I would never get any of this stuff normally I'd get a fucking cup of coffee you know what I mean and also like like when it comes to the food

I just like whatever happened to a fucking cup of coffee macca frat chapitopatilatay Chino I don't know what all these words me give me a cup of Joe You know what I kind of do agree with that Water and beans Phil's is different.

Yeah. It's different. Bill's a different experience. But also like at... I love Phil's. I do too. Do you really? I think they're so good.

I think there's a really underrated coffee chain. I think the coffee's very good. The coffee, we liked, we liked the coffee. I liked this coffee more than Phil's. That's all I want. The cold brew at Phil's is the coffee. The cold brew at Phil's is good. Yeah.

And they were, like, my brother was living in Berkeley. I went to like one of the original ones. It was like a 90-style coffee house that felt like a real place. Right. Like obviously it's different. It's like a huge chain now. It's different. But like they are doing their own coffee thing.

They did they just sell? They did. They did just sell. Yeah. Central perk. Like a central perk. But all the, um... To use you guys in the Phil's episode as backup.

I was kind of like I was kind of on an island there. Everyone else was hating it. People didn't like it? People didn't like it. Yeah. Oh, I think it's, I think it's good coffee. The food. Boy, they have a coffee cake muffin

That's just a life Okay I just saw logs on the Warner Brothers set And uh Never mind The Warner Brothers set I'm good too Like if you're good with moving on

I'm also I'm fine Imagine how bad Oh I'm not gonna sleep a wink wondering what the Warner Brothers set meant I saw logs on the Warner Brothers lot You're trying to wrap it around to Central Perk Yeah I was right by the stage

that central perk was shut on, which I thought was very, you know, it's a classic A friend's fountain you can see there too. Friends Fountain's right nearby. That's the Friends set on the Warner Brothers lot. Yes. I saw Wags. We saw each other.

It was fun to see you on a non-work day, Wiggs. That's right. I will say all, you were just at Warner Brothers for fun. Like what? Mitch was working. And I gave. You just said it was a non-work day. Well, Mitch, he met a non-work day in terms of doughboys being work.

In terms of that being our shared job. He's a work friend of yours, who you saw out in the wild. He's a real friend of mine, too. Excuse me. We had a warm embrace. That was nice. I will let you to, I will let you to, I will let you to joke around as much as you want. You can cause chaos on this podcast as much as you want, but Nick is my friend and not just my work friend.

Mm-hmm. I thought that you'd like that. I would say the accoutrements of this place, it's all like very carefully chosen. obviously. This straw that I brought, for example, you feel that? Yes. Compostable. Oh, that's nice. That's pretty good.

It's one of those like, not real. It's like commercially compostable only. It's like, okay, I'll just fire up my commercial composter to get rid of this thing. Because the cold drinks come in single use plastic, which is another issue of like, I'm not sure if that's technically compostable. And not just single use plastic, but it also branded with the butt first coffee. Yes, right. Which actually feels like it would. wouldn't be them like they feel a little hip to be doing but first coffee i totally agree something

that like would be on like it's like a live laugh love yeah oh absolutely in that same really alfred's doing but first coffee they claim it is their thing like yes it feels like it's not bad as a saying i feel like i think i i understand but there's a certain no i look all three of those things i i want to embrace that yeah but as a sign that you put on something uh-huh I think it's associated with a certain kind of person, like a mom. Yes. Sure. Or even a weird aunt.

Oh, yeah. And so I think but first coffee, just one? Maybe two. Yeah. You know, I consider you guys real friends and not work friends either. And not work friends either. well we don't work together I mean it's like

but that's your choice I love work every time we've been very deliberate and that's not I don't think of Hayes as a work friend because I actually don't think of doing our podcast as work but if you love what you do you'll never work a day in your life this yeah I get why you consider it to be a job.

Do you guys consider this work, Amelia and Emma? I consider this prison. That's fair. Our other sweet treat was the chocolate sesame cookie, chocolate chip cookie with the Valhona, dark chocolate, roasted sesame seeds and creamy tahini. A lot of sesame in this. Can I tell you what I'm saying to that, though?

Open sesame. Hot help. Hot help. Yeah, it was real yummy. I was skeptical about the marriage of chocolate and sesame, especially how aggressively sesame it was. But it was yummy. That's a trendy flavor as well.

No, you're right. It is very, it's curated. It's all, it's all. But so I took a look at the pastries and this is a thing for me. You asked about our breakfast routines. Sometimes I will not eat anything for breakfast and I'll walk to, I'll walk the dog with my wife to like a coffee shop or something. and I find that almost all of the pastries have like a sweet el there's either like fruit or chocolate involved and I don't want that first thing in the morning for breakfast I don't want that sweetness

and even like the macha croissant or whatever I'm just like it's just like too much like I wish there were more yeah I wish there were more so and then they'll have a savory option but it'll be like cheddar scallion greyer like it'll be like so much it'll be something where i'm like well that's also not for breakfast i can't have that with my coffee yeah i wish there were more simple pastries available at these places like just like a single ingredient muffin a corn muffin something like that would be great for me where it's like there's a little sweetness to it even the i i got a brand muffin the other day i was pretty excited about it the clark street bakery and there was so many raisins in it and they didn't list that as one of the ingredients

I just wanted a little simpler and so what I got here was the is it called a rip and dip ripp and dip bagels I got a rip and dip bagel because I just wanted which is it just and by the way was not uniquely textured to make ripping it really easy any bagel you can rip and but I did eat it that way. I got the little cup of whipped cream cheese and I got a sweet onion bagel which had just enough attitude on it that it wasn't just like plain

bread. It was mostly bread. And I ripped it apart and dipped it in the cream cheese. That and that was my lunch with my chagicino. But that was like the plainest thing I could find really. The copy says it's meant to be... This sounds like I gotta say this. Look, I'm not I'm not... He has to say

I mean he's got to get this one. guy's fucking about to explode. I know you got your thing, but like, you just give it some kind of release, man. He's got to do it. Chagachino, rip and dip bagels, this is the direction, this feels like future breakfast in a lot of ways. I'm like having

fun. No, it's like we're living, it's like we're living on fucking Cybertron. No, it's like this could have been an episode of sightings, you know what I mean? Like back in the day, you go, oh, that's not real. That's never going to happen. But here we are. We've gone through the wormhole. A chagicino and a rip and a rip and dip bagel,

I like the experimentation of it wise. That's all I had to say. The copy says these insanely crisp yet fluffy bagels are meant to be ripped apart by hand and dunked. So it specifies that they are engineered to be rip and dipable, but it doesn't seem like that's accurate in your experience. Well, I will say it was shaped a little more like a Kaiser roll or something than a bagel where it wasn't there wasn't a pronounced hole and like the sort of like thin crispiness of, you know. know what a, uh, the Montreal bagel style. No pronounced toll, why it's out. What?

What? I said no pronounced toll and I said, you're out. You're out on it. Got it. You like a hole. Yeah, I want the hole in the bagel. Yeah. Because I pronounced, I didn't know.

I thought, it was, stuck up on pronunciation. Oh, I'm sorry. I get it. Like, yes, it's physically pronounced. You can pretend I didn't say anything. No, it's fine. I liked it. Well, we could pretend you almost said something, which is what happened.

And we all kind of had to fill in the blanks. But at any rate, it was a little different than a normal bagels. But I thought he was going to rip apart so easily. And it was, there was a little bit of work involved, little elbow grease. Luckily, I'm in shape. To, like, get you to, because, like, it's such an obstacle if you're buying a bagel, you're like, I got to cut this and have they have a little knife. It's true.

What surface do I put it on to spread it? they're just putting in your head like these ones you just rip and dip in the thing which like of course you can do that with any that's smart it's so smart they got me really really smart it made me more likely to order it and I go I'm gonna order it yeah exactly I'm gonna cut it in half am I gonna toast it

here is it gonna be oh yeah then instead it was like no this one you just rip and dip I do like this what's your favorite bagel varietal in a vacuum like like like you know what you get your pick of flavors what do you hope is there hot and fresh out of the oven. Oh, wow. You got to make me pick just one wags. We'll pick a few. There's different days. Yeah, sure. Sometimes I used to frequently get a

pumpernickel bagel. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Yeah, a little toad on that as well. Lately, my order at my local bagel place is toasted oat brand bagel with butter. Okay. And it's got big honking oats all around the outside of it. You're getting your fiber in it from what I am hearing. Yeah, I need it man I gotta go to the bathroom Pumpernickel more fun to say than to eat for me How dare you?

I'm sorry I like sesame seed Is my seed of choice That's a fun bagel, sesame bagel Hey, does you got a favorite bagel? I usually go with everything Oh sure My friend Alex Crow has a stand at the

Hollywood Farmer's Market called Tomorrow Bagel Wow This trendy flavor as well but he has a saracha maple one that's that's really good sounds like good and my daughter gets there uh cinnamon raisin one which like brought got me back into cinnamon raisin bagels yeah yeah uh the kids get blueberry bagels and the wife does and uh if i'm going to like a courage bagel where it's it is that like really crispy like kind of slightly burnt bagel i like a garlic bagel oh that's fun yeah those are nice yeah why's you also like the idea of like uh you've said the

before but like yeah this is the truth I'm being honest here this isn't a made up thing you like the idea when you're eating to like rip into stuff you said this before like the caveman aspect of you said it you told me that you're bringing it back to rip and dip bagels

yes I thought we moved on no no I yeah I do like to it's fun to tear things apart when you're eating sure it's kind of it is that's what I'm saying I'm saying you told me that you told me the animalistic side of the brain.

It's a fun to rip and dip up. I never feel more like a caveman than an Alfred coffee, yeah. We also got some sandwiches. I got the vesti caprice sandwich. We're big fans of Vesti. We like Vesie a lot. I thought this was herb rosa tomatoes,

pecorino and marscapone cheese, nut free pesto, garlic aoli, and arugol, on a crusty, spongy, fresh focaccia. Really nice facacia. I don't know. I thought this was a lovely sando. I ate half of it.

Amelia, did you take the other half? Yes. What did you think of that bad boy? It was good. Yeah. What, you also got, Emma, you got yourself. I got a sandwiched. Yeah.

I got the Italian turkey sandwich, and if you ask me, most of them are turkeys. Oh, boy. The Italians, I meant. This also has the nut-free pesto along with roasted turkey, mozzarella. I wish this podcast were nut-free. Tomatoes, garlic aoli, and arugula on a faccaccia. Oh, God. You know.

How was that sandwich? The boys were back. I'm just trying to have some fun. We're having a great time. Dude. That was fucking awesome, dude. I know you're joking around, man. I liked the sandwich.

The Italian turkey was, I mean, vesty sandwiches, look. It's a home run, wags. Yeah. We love them. People say marscapone, huh? Like, that's just what everyone says. But that's not how it's spelled. How are you supposed to say it?

Well, doesn't it say mascarpone? Is it mascapone? It is mascarpone. But everyone says marscapone. Yeah, everyone says marscapone. They do, yeah. Amelia, how do you say it? You know.

I don't know. Did you, how, but like, are you doubting yourself? It's okay to not. I don't know. I don't know either. I have no answer. You haven't said marscapone before? Never.

Oh, interesting. I don't know that to start. Mars, I have never said it either. I'm not even going to attempt it. It's spelled mascarpone. You're right. I've seen the, that's how I say it because I read it, but it never has felt that good to me either. Masker poem.

People are. People are out here saying marscapone. Can we get some quick? I think they probably should because if this many people are doing it, I've got to be wrong. Well, look, linguistics is descriptive, not prescriptive. That's one of the things. It's just like a right way to pronounce something. Moscarpone.

Okay. Oh, but I'm not going to do that. Moscarpone. Moscarpone. Yeah, then I think people don't know what you're talking about. Mascarpone. Mascarpone. This, my cup had a little, Alfred is big on like Alfred.

X other brand type stuff I feel like And often they're promoting A lot of collabs The wall is we had a Mary Beth Barone on our show And I had just seen her on the way in On the wall at the Silver Lake Alfred because they were promoting Her show with Benito Skinner

This is for Postmates It has a little bagel with overcompensating Overcompensating, thank you And a little coffee like they have eyes It's kind of like corporate Memphis When you're done with twisted metal Mm-hmm. Go back and launchover compensated.

Wags is watching season two as we speak. Yeah, Mitch, you're great in it. Thank you. Have you guys watched it? Season two of Twisted Metal? Yeah. Is this one of those episodes? Are we still promoting the show?

I mean, just tell me what I'm supposed to do. I mean, I'll say whatever the fuck you want. I want you to be successful. It is just ended. Okay. This is not, we're not promoting it specifically, but. but we're not not promoting it yeah yeah I think I guess we're

Promotion never ends It never ends Yeah yeah and in that case Absolutely have watched it I inhale I inhaled that kind of show You know what I mean Well here's what's crazy for me is I normally don't like that kind of show

And I went in only watching it For Mitch And son of a bitch The exception that proves the rule Twisted Metal which is not the kind of show I would normally watch I ended up just thinking it was really well done. I don't care that this is fake.

I love it. I loved it. I mean, I was like, I was laughing. I was into all the characters. I thought like it's, you know, visually just a fun show to enjoy. And like the tone a little bit like takes what I remember from the video game where there's like violence and stuff. But it's done in a playful way where it doesn't feel too heavy. You know, it just, I ripped right through it.

I couldn't believe I was done. Yeah. I mean, he's a pro, and I don't even want to know if he's never seen a second of it, because that was very good. It was good. I agree. Mm-hmm. Did you see it?

Amelia, you got the vesty spicy guy. I'm a bit of a heat seeker, so that this is a sandwich. I got the spicy guy. I'm so sorry, Emma, this is that you got this. This is a sandwich that would normally appeal to be, though I haven't been eaten pork. It's smoked and cured ham, provolone, pepper and chino, calabrine chili, a relish, garlic a alia, and arugulant, a crusty, spongy, fresh fraccia.

I'm reading the adjectives every time. What did you think of that, bad boy? It was great. I loved it. I was only going to eat half of it and save the rest for later, and I ate the whole thing. Wow. So, A plus. It seems like the vesty sandwich, I mean, because they're designed, we know that they're

batched in the more in the AM, and it's just like, it seems like they're a... It holds up. Yeah, it's a good fit here. Yeah. Great sandwiches. Mm-hmm. but why because it's about the coffee at this place let's be real this coffee sleeve i mean like i i i don't want to come down on them too hard and i'm curious i mean you guys obviously

didn't go so far as to go to the restaurant yeah and preparing for this show amelia did go though i i was embarrassed walking down the street holding this and i just like i felt it acutely you know i'm like in the middle of silver lake that sucks like i see it may i see i'm holding this thing i i took a photo of my food from there, and I took the sleeve off because I didn't want... Did they put that on your ice drink? Yeah, it was on my ice drink as well. Those I always thought were for like hot drinks to protect your hand because it's too hot. I don't really get why they put them on ice drinks.

But even if it had just said Alfred, I was trying to think myself, what is it about this? Like, I feel like you present as someone if you're holding an Alfred coffee that has like been sold to and something. Right. You know what I mean? Like you feel like it's such a, uh, I don't know. There's a code. There's a code on the back of it for money off your order as well. I don't know if. God, Mitch is just going to be to code. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, look, I'm, I'm, I'm a reader. I read a lot of Angels and Deemons, but then Wally sat on it, and I never finished. What's the third one? They made a third one, I don't know what it was. Oh, right. I think it's a Da Vinci Code Angels and Demons

Inferno. Inferno. So this is here There's clues in Dante's Inferno or something. I think I believe so. That makes sense. Yeah, sure. Did they make,

did Tom Hanks do all three movies? Yeah, they made a third movie. Completely invisible. I haven't seen any of them. I never finished. I said, I'm going to finish, I'm going to finish reading the Da Vinci Code before I see the movie

and I never did. yeah uh da vinci code super short chapters read it in rehab is that is that true yeah so i was in there and somebody had recommended to me before and it was like i got like checked into this this like psych ward rehab ward and i was and what i had with me what was my parents like gave me to be like okay you know you'll be in here for two weeks was the divigga for the first day because i was drying out like sweating it out they didn't make me go to any of the little group meetings or anything so i just was alone in my room and i fucking ripped through the da vinci code gotta say one of the most satisfying exciting reading experience of my life i know we all shit on it now but man i was on an

adventure with robert langdon the chapters you're right he was such an expert of like the roller coaster of just like ramping you right up at the end of a chapter they were they were like yeah and they were like they were they were super short chapter so you felt like okay let me just get through this next one and then you were like yeah fuck it I could do one more and it just it made you read it really fast and I was like and I mean I remember

like on day two when they were like you are going to have to go to these meetings them knocking and I was just like in the fucking book and they were like hey you got to go to the thing I was like we're trying to solve the codex like the fucking knights of Templar you know like we're really getting to the bottom of this thing but okay Hey, I guess I'll go hear about, you know, how to save my own life.

There's coffee on the sleeve. Coffee. And it's making a kissy face here. And a bit and a rip-and-dip bagel that's leaning up against her. I guess they're an item, I believe, the two of them. And interestingly, that bagel was not ripped and dipped. It's already got cream cheese on it. That looks like a regular.

Yeah, it might just be a conventional bagel. It just straight up says postmates here. I don't like it either. Yeah, I don't love that. Yeah. Let me see the cartoon. I don't think I looked at it closely enough. Post mates, so they just fucked.

Oh. Oh, that's the implication. They're post-quietal. I mean, look at the shape of the mouth and everything. Like, these guys, they just finish mating. It's post that. Holding flowers, they exchange flowers afterwards. Well, yeah.

Well, look, so she's holding a bouquet of flowers, but she's given her flower to him. him. So the burger has just taken our virginity. The burger? Yeah. I guess it's a bagel with cream cheese, is it? You said you were a burger.

Yeah. There doesn't need to be any deception involved. No, that's true. I wonder what kind of baby they're going to have. Yeah. But there's postmates. Yeah. So they just had sex. Yeah. How about that? I don't like it either. I don't, the more I've heard about Alfred, it's lost me a little bit. But I will say this. I thought

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We'll each go around, give our closing arguments, if you will, and give it a fork score from zero to five. Sean, seated to my left. We'll begin with you. Your thoughts, your fork score in Alfred. Well, I've got to be honest about it. I agree with Mitch. A lot of like, Hayes' observations about the way they are sort of like marketing and the like trendy, like, kind of, like, corny, hipstery element to it has turned me off. But if you just ask me, like, if I just need a cup of coffee, here's my issue with it. So I'm going to give it. It's out of five? Yeah.

I'm going to give it like a 3.3. okay and here's why i'm here's why i'm doing that if i want a cup of coffee i think i can get a good cup of coffee from there and that's nice there have been items there that i really enjoyed that have disappeared they don't sell the sandwich that i used to get there they don't sell the breakfast sandwich that i used to get there so i've had like regular orders there that i liked and they've gone so there's too much turnover for me to really rely on that them for food. Yeah.

And the way that I would need to to make it a staple. But like, it's called out for coffee for the coffee. I think the coffee is above average. I think it's better than Starbucks or coffee bean or, um, uh, or just like what's in the box. If there's just like a, a coffee shop that like I've never seen before across the corner, I'll probably go to Alfred because I trust it. Okay.

Wow. three forks three tenths of a fork i might phone up for a reason but we'll get to it yeah three forks and a and a tine yes it sounds like you don't want to go do would you we let the guests go first the guests go first you know like this is maybe too thought out for this this forum but uh you know i used to work at l a city hall and like right there like you see a lot of like local business really struggling here and like I got I'm interested in places

that are trying to export a version of LA to the world the place I'm most obsessed with is Umami Burger that that really was the example of that Yes Rise and Fall must be studied I really do feel that way

I love to read like the long long magazine piece about what happened with that we've discussed this quite a bit You've done it three times I think you've got That's right. We had Judd discussed it with us. Yeah.

I gotta send you, there's a guy on TikTok who just talks about the rise and falls of businesses, and it's a pretty long video that he does. The L.A. and a minute guy? No, it's not Los Angeles specific. Okay. But he just did prime, prime, the drink. Oh, that already fell.

So it was, so last year it did like $1.1 billion, and now it's like doing half as much this year. and he went into why but he also did like write aid and like what their whole i i should find the handle shot i sent it to the stores guys because i was like this this is so um this is so interesting to me and it's always sort of the same story in a way where it's like there's venture capital money and they take on too much debt and it's eating away that story yeah but it's also there are also marketing mistakes and there's also whatever covid happened or like for a lot of retail things it's like Amazon and like

but I agree with you about Umami burger and I'm sure there's like some bullet points we've seen before but there must be a specific thing that happened with them and that went through the stage that we were all living here for in the first two years of it everyone was talking about this fucking burger

you got to have umami burger yes some could say that the burger boom happened because of umami I would I would say that you go back and read what people in like the New Yorker and GQ were writing about this burger it's like embarrassing like how people were just like foaming at the mouth over this thing but then you know then they opened the place in Dubai and it becomes like a you know and like a franchise

that now like only exists at LAX and then uh in ghost kitchens I feel like Alfred kind of showed up like 75% of the way along the umami uh like trajectory yes right and they do have a Dubai story it was Like, their 10th location. Yeah. They have two stores in Dubai now. Yes. And so, like, the fact that I know. I'm sorry, Kuwaitin is where Alfred is located.

I think they have one in Kuwait and one in Dubai, maybe. But they, not to doubt, host you on your own show. They, I feel like, like, I don't know what the core is. The coffee isn't the thing because they get that from somewhere else. There's the syrup, whatever. you know you can walk in and get something totally satisfactory there like whatever it is the pastry the sandwich like whatever it's fine uh but i to me i think it is a two uh not because the product itself is bad right um i just feel sold to in a way that is that is not as appealing

to me as a consumer i i i love what you're saying you know and i love what you've done for the city days that is the truth so much Mitch i've tried to be i try to donate anytime i've i have donated before for god's sakes i want public record uh check the records this guy you'll see my name on there this guy's name is michael girdley this is one of him doing dick sporting goods but he did a pizza hut one that i'm sure shares some stuff with ummy burger and one thing was like i don't think of ummey's Umami burger as being a place that you ordered delivery from very much.

No. It was a sit down dining experience. Yes, it was for sure. And that declined so rapidly. Yes, that's also true. And that, and so a lot of restaurants got killed by that because I think that the places that were really set up and got in early on like, whatever, the postmates thing or whatever, but like there, and then especially when COVID happened and no one went to sit down

restaurants if you weren't already a place that people ordered takeout from then it was like your your margins just got crushed umami it felt like was declining prior to the pandemic though it was it was i do think that's what happened if if they had been just kind of getting started i think of like whatever pining crane is a chain that like is a good sit down place but you can also get delivery from there like i think we would have been ordering umami burgers like the window There's another, it's like the window does insane, it's like, you know, ruined the parking in that whole area because their delivery business that they do. You could have done that with Umami. It was just basically cooked by that.

Yeah, no. Yeah. Because it was over. Yeah. And I think that people had just turned on it. But, Wags, what are we as a country? What do we want? You know, what have we become?

That's a big question. Right. On the anniversary of a tragic day here I'm glad you referenced September 11th I was waiting for that to come up the day this episode's released On the anniversary of a tragic day A lot of these restaurants

Just when I think about a mom and pop Restaurant that makes it Even when I think about Tender Greens Which I like Tender Greens And I really liked Tender Greens back in the day And then to see it become Corporatized and now What do people think of Tender Greens

Do people like tender greens? It's got a bad reputation in, like, writer's rooms for sure. Sure, yeah, yes. Overordered and nobody wanted it anymore. I still don't really have a problem with it. I have no problem with it. I'm fine with it. The last two times I got tender greens, I got, like, diarrhea immediately.

But I don't know, like, again, I don't know if that's necessarily food-borne illness. And can you name a restaurant that you haven't had diarrhea immediately after you to go? It's like the common factor may not be tender greens, maybe Nick Wager. I had a four-day stretch of diarrhea recently. Like, it was just like, I was just like, I was just like, I was like, if it's one more day, I'm going to the doctor, and then thankfully it's subsided. I was just like, I couldn't, I couldn't believe it. Four days.

I just like, it was fucking, every single meal. I was just fucking sandblasting. Just fucking walking hot, uh, fucking hot cocoa dispenser. It was fucking nasty. I could, I don't know what happened. Like, I don't even know what triggered it. I must have gotten, I must have gotten some sort of pathogen that's the only thing I'd think of and it was just, but my body was working through it because it didn't matter

what I ate. You don't matter how fibrous or how, you know. Could have been anxiety tummy. Maybe it was anxiety tummy. It could have been that. It was real bad. I'm happy that you're not. My body connection is so underrated.

It's true. I, here's the thing with Alfred. Yeah. At least they're pretty honest about what they're trying to be right out of the gate, it seems like. They're trying to be some sort of fucking Instagram-y business sort of model that they're doing here. I think that could be why they layer the drinks. Why it's presented that way

It could be because like you take a picture No just like the visual element of it Yeah they want you to take a picture of it They post it They're more interested in how it looks for the Instagram or you know any of these Well Hayes I'm glad you say that Because I open up Alfred's Instagram profile

And it's Postmates Month And they got a drink here That's very Instagramable This matcha latte here And look, they have 150,000 followers, so I guess, you know, it's kind of working. Doing something right, yeah. They're doing something right there, but I don't have 150,000 anything. What is the end goal here?

Pathogens, perhaps. Isn't isn't the point that we want to make good food, we want to make a good coffee. Yeah. And now it's usually we're going to, you know, sell out to a different place. and then that will be the end of the restaurant at some point. It's the Umami model. Yeah, no,

you just build up right big enough to get, you know, be appealing enough to get scooped up by one of these big giant money companies. And that's a bummer. That's sad to me. And for that reason, I'm with Hayes here. I'm going to go,

I like, I think I did like my coffee more than, than, than fills. But I'm going to still go two forks. What did you get fills? I think two forks. Wow.

Yeah. I like Alfred in terms of coffee. I don't like it as a brand. I do find the whole, its whole, you know, vibe very like obnoxious and, you know, it knows what it's trying to be and it's not something that we're, it's not like a sort of place where I, like, I necessarily, I don't know, I like what it's given offer.

I feel comfortable there. I feel much better at a place like Phil's and I like their wares a lot better. And so I'm not going to review this place as well as that. But I do think it does a decent cup of coffee. I just, it feels like what you were talking about, Mitch, of like, hey, the end game is for this place to be sold to, you know, what these private equity firms or whatever. In 10 years, there will be one in Quincy. So we sold to Donald Trump. Yeah, yeah.

But I mean, it's also like. I mean, it's, you know, I mean, it's like we're being around the bush here. like we're talking about like the soul to this you know so and so it's it's not a Trump yeah but also it's going to be Trump Fred his dad's name was Fred it's true yes maybe it was even Alfred I don't even like that part of it

they named it after the butler maybe you know what maybe Batman should give Alfred a coffee every so often and he's also said downgrade it but coffee's so important to me and I do trust the coffee I do like coffee if I see it Alfred as a coffee drinker and I want a cup of Joe I know I can get a reliable one so I'm not going to go too low on this one um but yeah i don't know i just the whole thing is kind of like i just i feel

i'm even like as a laker fan the clippers thing i was i was like all right dude come on he's doing the try hard when they do that yeah i'm making the jerk off motion for our audio listeners nix jerking off and um so i i don't i'm gonna go two and a half forks two forks two tines it's just like i attempted to jack off today i gave up you got did you go winded what happened yeah i was just kind of i was just kind of like i don't want to do this and i kind of just pulled up my pants Did you not get hard? No, I was for a second. So you were hard.

You started jacking off and then you just came up. But not totally hard. No, no, no. I mean, never anymore. Yeah. Is it the, I mean, I'm genuinely, the Lexa Pro. The Lexi Pro is going to ask the first thing in the morning Lexa Pro, yeah. Yeah, I got to take something from the, I got to take something with the Lexa Pro probably is the thing.

But, you know, for a minute, but that's how I feel about this thing. I don't even care about jacking off. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, whatever. It's not even, you know, it's not even, it's not even to. completion. You're just like, get this a little bit,

it's like, all right, I'm done. That sucks me. Yeah. Were you just using mental imagery or did you get into like getting some kind of source material?

I used some mental, I use some mental, uh, imagery. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I was doing just a bit about ending the show earlier. Yeah. Now I just want to be on record that I sincerely think that. You should stop doing the show. I do like it is. I got a nice moisture on.

hog because of it so that is a plus side oh so you're using some lotion conventional hand lotion oh god I would if anybody got pegged for a dry guy I would have said Mitch that we're getting an extra step we're getting products involved I just wouldn't have seen Avino one of the best if you really

if you're looking for one Avino's a great lotion I just oh like you guys don't do it I mean yeah I mean absolutely I have masturbated but you know but I'm with you Mitch

I'm kind of over it and like yeah it's the same sort of thing with the this is how Mitch feels having a normal conversation how I feel right now what are you nervous I'm like there's no nothing I could contribute that would be like he's is afraid additive like like I get it what do you feel like we're doing an Alfred episode and kind of like what are we doing here do you have that kind of have that Yes, but that's not our...

That's Alfred's fault. That's not our fault. It is, but it is our fault, too. Well, you picked it. You're not out here just like... Hey, look what you've done. He's about to quit the show. I'm not quitting the show.

I'm just saying, like, I feel, you know... If I can contribute one thing, you say how much I've done for the city, like, I feel like the work is unfinished until you end this. You know, I think you, you get... The dollars you spend are a... vote you know what i mean like and like you bring to life the city that you invest in and that's why i mean part of it is this fucking postmates thing it's like that's accelerating a version of life yeah that is like where everyone is going to be living like you guys where like you like you like you just have it you know brought to you and like you you don't i don't use postmates you don't see anyone yeah

i don't use postmates anymore i kicked off that app you got banned i got banned i think because i use the name top dog on there. Oh, it merged with Uber. Yeah, your Uber name was the top dog and then you didn't change it and then you can't get back on there. So what do you do for delivery now? DoorDash. DoorDash, sure. Oh, Grubbub. But there's a few

Postmates exclusives, aren't there? Alfred included. You can't get it on DoorDash. No. Does Jersey mics just within the app, they do their own? You can get it delivered just on the app with Jersey Mines. But I think it is facilitated by Door. I think it's fulfilled by DoorDash if you were for the Jersey mics up. Did you like, were you like intending or like,

and now is my time to jack off. Or was it kind of an impulsive, like... Because you go back to the jacking off? Yes, yeah. Yeah, I was like, you know what? I haven't done this in a minute. I should probably get up and do this. What's a minute?

What's a minute? It was like, it wasn't a feeling of like desire. It was like... Yeah, I felt more like obligation. This is a normal thing. Which could be this Lexapro thing. But a minute is like, I don't know, a few days, four days, five days or something like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So I was like, you know, I'll do this. Maybe I'll do some laundry or something. You know, I was like kind of doing a chore list. Sure, right. Yeah, you want to put it through its paces, you know. I actually give the laundry something to do, you know what I mean? Yeah.

What am I even washing off if I don't do this? That'd be the only one who works hard in this house. That was our review of Alfred Coffee. It's time for a segment. We've got a food stuff we're going to decide you should put in your mouth. It's snack or whack. And Amelia, rather, I'm sorry. We've got these.

These are the Stranger Things Chippahoys. Is this correct? That's right. This is the Stranger Things. Chip-ahoy collab. These are chewy chip-a-hoys. These are strawberry-flavored filling. Strawberry-flavored film. That's right. Look, I do say, I will say I like the color way, at least on the packaging, which is, it's like a-chips a-hoi. It's a dark cookie. He is saying it wrong. Right. It's not the attorney's general. Yes, it is a singular is a chips-a-hoey cookie,

but I do say chip-a-hoi. In the same way, some people say cheese-its for a plural of cheese-it, but it's actually, there is no plural cheese-it. It's a cheese-it. It's a cheese-it. It's a Cheez-It-Criker. It wouldn't be Chip-A-Hoy's. Or cheese-it crackers. All right, here we go. I'm going to take a couple of these. Who are you more mad at?

Me or Wags? I can't tell. I think you enable each other at this point. It's not either of you as an individual. It's as a pair. I'm not mad at anyone. I'm having a good time. These look nothing like the packaging.

These actually look kind of... I didn't think he had a good time. Disgusting. You know what I mean? So before I take a bite Yeah Is this thing going to send me to the upside down I'm not going to end up with the upside down

Am I? Save me 11 I don't watch Stranger Things I watch the first season I take a bite of this Hmm I mean we're talking about speaking of dry guys This is a big time dry guy

It's really dry this sucks I expected this to be, like it says strawberry filling. Where's the gooey, the gooey's strawberry inside? It's like strawberry chips. It's, oh, it says strawberry chips, but there's supposed to be a filling as well. No, there is a filling element. I can see it here. Yeah.

But it is a sort of powdery. I didn't want it before, but I took a bite because I'm on the show. But I don't eat this crap. I mean, the second one, this is real fucking bad. These fucking suck. These are horrible. Is this what a Chips O'Hoy consistency is like now? Or like their chewy version, maybe?

Because that's not what I remember a Chips O'Hoy cookie tasting like. I hope that that's not what they taste like. Now, those are downright horrible. These are also small. And they're just like falling apart? Bigger, right? They're horrible. They're way fucking smaller.

Yes, to answer the texture question, that is my memory of what a chewy chip-ahoy was always like. Really? Yeah. But it's a little bit, but, like, actually, you know, I remember that being too, this is a little, yeah, it's a little cakeier and, and, and, uh, more chalky, you know what I mean. Yeah, the chockiness right on the package. Netflix, the Alfred coffee of entertainment. I guarantee, like, Alfred and stranger things, I'm sure have done a collab at some point. But, like, this is, this is, like, look, the coloring is great, I will say.

Like, it looks like, hey, that looks like a fun, sort of inverted, you know, upside down, if you will chips a hoy cookie. Like, and I like the, I like the spirit of having that strawberry filling. Just the actual execution. It tastes like shit. Yeah. The texture is bad. And then, and then there's no like a, like, you want some sort of moisture inside of it.

It's kind of like chewing on sawdust. Yeah, it's really fucking horrible. That was beneath my lowest expectation. That's a big time whack. It tastes like Plato. It does taste like Plato. But not a good way. That's, that's a good point.

If that's meant to compete. It does seem like it's made out of Plato. Absolutely. With like the soft-batch Keebler cookies, those are way better. I haven't had one of those in 20 years, but this may seem intense, but I think the duffers should be fed those until they die. Waxed all around, I assume. I don't think anyone was going to have a stump for these.

Massive whack. Massive whack. Massive whack. Just like a restaurant of your feedback, that's up with the feedback. Today's email is from Billy from North Carolina. Billy writes, I just saw McDonald's commercial featuring Ronald McDonald for the first time at a long time. He's back. Now that Ronald's banishment from promoting McDonald's has been lifted, are there any other fast food mascots you'd like to see brought back from exile besides Subway Jared?

We all know your stance on him. How about any mascots you'd like to see struck from commercials for the time being, praise be to the burger clown? Thanks, Billy. The burger clown? I think he's referring to Ronald McDonald's the burger. Oh, got it. Is there a, like, this is the problem is like, who are the other excellent? exiled mascots. Can you think off the top

of your head? Jared is a big one and we do not want Jared back. No, sure. But like it's just like I'm trying to think of who else has been taken out of the limelight in the same way that Ronald was. What about he doth protest too much situation with the GERD thing, right? Uh, um,

the noid. Yeah, you know what the annoyed is a fun one. That's a great If they did, don't they bring him back every couple years? They brought him back very recently. We all know what happened with the noid, yes. Yes, we all know what happened with the noid. A man went crazy because of it is very sad. He thought it was about him. Right. Yes.

Last name was noids. They do, yeah, they bring back the noid now and then but I would say I've seen Jared in a while. Subways, Jared? Oh no, yeah no, we, wait, Emma, we give you another chance I think to say you don't like it.

I mean, I do not want Jared back. I was looking at a bird while. I was doing something else. Okay. I wouldn't, um, well, I wouldn't mind seeing the Burger King Kids Club come back? I was just about to say they were a lot of fun. That could be fun.

Jaws, KidVid, Meals. So many mascots are gone because they just don't advertise on TV anymore. Like I immediately think, I know this isn't fast food, but it's food, but like the Honeycomb Monster, who I love. Yeah, they love that guy. What about the and I don't even necessarily want to see

him, but how about the little Quiznos sock monkeys? Yeah, they had a moment. It feels like the nostalgia, you know, cycle has maybe gone back to what we'd like to see from those guys again, and Quiznos could certainly use a shot in the arm. They could sing a song, you know, like... Song was fun. Yeah. We love the subs.

Yeah. Yeah, that was a lot. I think that was a lot of fun. I'm a big fan of the Jolly Bee these days, but I think the Jolly Bee is getting more than enough screened. Like, I guess I was just like... Screen time. Well, I would just like, like he's kind of... You know what? He have his own iPad he gets to use? Maybe not enough screen time, I should say. Maybe they should have some more... Family-brained. Some more like commercial advertisements in the States pushing the Jollybee, you

Because I just feel like, yeah, you see him in his signage and you see him, you see the embodiment of him. But, like, I don't know, I don't know Jollybee's personality. But he's a lot of fun. I think that they could, like, AI Madden back into some Chunky Campbell Soup commercials. I think that would be fun. Was Madden ever in the Chunky Soup commercials? Oh, yes, of course. Oh, wow.

I don't remember that. Absolutely. I just remember when they used to have, like, Donovan McNabb in them. Oh, that's fun. Bring back those. I don't want any AI dead people into. They're trying to, this is like targeted to you. They're trying to replace Danny DeVito at your beloved Jersey Mikes.

Really? You know who they're trying to replace him with? Your, your enemy. Eli Manning. Wow. That sucks. Danny DeVito doesn't like it any more than you do. He's actually snuck his way into the ads to protest.

That they're given Eli Manning. So this is the world of the ads. Danny DeVito is upset. He's pissed off, yeah. And we're not sure if. this is like written in the ad or if he actually has snuck into the ad. I don't think they would do something like invite

the former representative to come shit on the new one. Right. Like that, you know, as a campaign that doesn't think. That's a good point. As we talk about all these football figures, do you guys want to hear my impression of Bill Simmons'

impression of some of the announcers? I would love that to do the football games? Okay. Let's do Tony Romo first Okay This is Bill Simmons Let's do Bill Simmons doing Tony Romo This is Bill Simmons doing Tony Romo

I gotta get a more nasal Than it would Yeah, I don't know Jim Wait, let me get it more nasal Really good I don't know Jim This is the game right here Jim Jim

Jim Jim Keep your eye on keep your eye on this guy right here and then here's and then here's collinsworth who's he does a lot more you talk about a guy it's really close to robo actually yeah you talk about a guy

I mean are you kidding me I sat down with him and this is a guy who just loves to play football I got a chance to sit down with him And he told me Man, when he's on that field That's his happy place He loves playing football

He really gears up For those He's having fun doing him I like it Yeah I think that your impression Is better than Bill I think your impression

It's not really Bill doing it I lost Bill in the Collinsworth a little bit Yeah I heard him in the one Yeah It's got, yeah, you talk about it, it's got to be a little more, you talk about it. Yeah. Weiger does a famous Bill.

I'll keep working on it. I'll keep working on it. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you email said feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voice mill at 830 go-dough. That's 8-0-4-6-8-44. Our producers, Emma Redmond, our producer, Amelia Marino, our video editors, Mike Dorfman, doughboys apparel, and merchandise at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. And the Do-Boys double-a-weekly bonus episode plus on entire pre-2018 back catalog at

Patreon.com slash no-boys. Sean Clements. Hayes Davenport, Hollywood Handbook, the flagrant ones. Uh, plug away, please. And thank you so much for coming back. We'll make it sooner next time. Uh, that is my pledge. That is, that's coming for me. That's coming for me. It's an abstract thing where we'll have you back

real soon. Thanks, guys. Thank you. If you want, though, but also no way. I want to come back if the show's still going. If the show's still going, we'll definitely have you back. I'd love to come back. Very soon. We're going to be back.

back in the next calendar year. You know, even if we're in the next calendar year, and if the show is ending sooner than that, we'll have you back before then. Maybe, well, maybe what, can I? Back at least once before the show. You're sending us up for some plugs. Can I make a request then?

I wrote this movie. The movie's called The Dink. We filmed it. They sold it to Apple. We sold it. I'm part of that team. We don't have a release date yet. I think it's going to be some.

time you know next year and um maybe when it comes out i could come i could come back on the show we could talk about the i would love that we'd love that that would be great i'd appreciate it that too hey maybe the dink review the dunk hey that's really cool the d the dunk the dunk for the dink well and hollywood handbook in the flagrant ones people should have a lot of the show a lot of our listeners check out the show already but if you haven't it's it's a these guys are the funniest show now that we also do. Yeah, they're doing a great baseball show. And the playoffs coming up with whatever you want.

Red Sox, looking like they're going to sneak in there. They're going to sneak in there. I don't know exactly what kind of run we're going to have. But, yeah, let's be fun. Let's have fun. What's the URL where people can get everything? Patreon.com slash Hollywood Handbook? Like, I don't know.

Yeah, it's called Hollywood Hambuck and Friends now is the name of the Patreon. What kind of business is this? what's your it used to be called the flagrant ones or birdfuck.com wow and so you have a special

URL that takes you right to the Patreon yeah we do oh we need something like that wow so the it's called hollywood handbook and friends now

the the name of the Patreon yeah used to be patreon.com slash the flagrant ones I think maybe yeah we love the boys

we actually must be really good at this we love the dough boys wow and it's given us so much content over the years to be mad at how your show is more popular than us it's really become even when it's not you it is you like we're that we're angry at and it's really focused our energy in a

really great way we're glad that we could bring you guys together in a way yeah we were already we were doing it first yeah but pretty quickly we did become just like a simulacra of what you guys are doing it like we exist in the shot just in an image imitation of your work which is why I mean I'm happy to just like join hands on this and like suicide packed it like we all

we all shut it down I'm in this is unfair to me specifically you all can do other stuff you have me at suicide packed let's go now I'll do it for this episode of doughboys and on next time for the smoothman Mike Mitchell I'm Tiger Wager happy eating

See ya That was a hate gum podcast I'm Tignotaro I'm Mae Martin and I'm Fortune Feimster and together we're handsome what is handsome well it's a state of mind it's how you feel it's whatever you want it to be handsome is also a podcast hosted by us three stand-up comedians you may have seen on your TV we swap stories share life updates and occasionally laugh until we cry every episode we answer a question from a celebrity friend people like Sarah Silverman it's Stephen Colbert it's Reese Witherspoon my name is Mindy Kaylee Hello, Handsome Podcast. It's Jen Aniston here. You gorgeous, devil you. So if you're looking for a positive, joyful show guaranteed to make you giggle, check out Handsome. Jump right in with whatever episode tiggles your fancy, or start from the very first episode.

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