Doughboys - Arby's with Vanessa Ramos

Episode Date: December 10, 2015

The Doughboys sit down with TV writer and self-proclaimed Kate Middleton of Arby's Vanessa Ramos (Superstore, @midnight) to discuss the house that roast beef built. Plus, Food Court is once again in session.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In 1964, Leroy and Forrest Raffle opened a sandwich restaurant in Boardman, Ohio. Within seven years, the brothers hit upon the menu item that would become and remain their flagship dish, the hot roast beef sandwich. Later years saw the development of other signature items, including curly fries, the beef and cheddar, and the curiously named horsie sauce. But as the chain grew in popularity, they also grew into a punchline, commonly used as shorthand for the trashiest and least sanitary fast food. In recent decades, this franchise has been lampooned by comedy powerhouses like Seinfeld,

The Simpsons, and The Daily Show. But they've also recently adopted a self-aware marketing and social media campaign that seemingly embraces the ironic consumption of their food. Just a year removed from its 50th anniversary and now the second largest sandwich chain in America, behind Subway, its name is still the source of speculation. Some think it's a man's first name, some suspect it's the acronym for Roast Beef, but in actuality, it's the initials for its founders, the Raffle Brothers, R.B. This week on Doughboys, Arby's.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, sitting alongside the Spoon Man. Mike Mitchell, how you doing, Mitch? What's going on? Not too much. I hurt my back this weekend. Oh, really? Yeah, I did.

I took a stumble. I was going downstairs for trying to get the laundry. Well, here's the thing. What the fucking laughing at my injury? It's funny. There's one thing to some gentle ribbing, but you're the point where I'm in physical pain. That's bringing you pleasure.

That's upsetting. So what happened? You were trying on a shirt and it didn't fit. So I have kind of a tweaked back and it seems about once a year I have a back spasm. And this was just like my annual back spasm happened on Saturday. I sort of powered through it. And then on Sunday I re-injured it to the point where I was like crawling up the stairs to my apartment.

And my wife Nally was like hovering over me trying to pull me up, but she's much smaller than I am. So just like was just watching my arms tremble as I was trying to crawl up the stairs. And then I just, I got up to the landing. I got up to my porch and I just like laid on the side on, laid on my side on the porch for like 10 minutes because I just couldn't move anymore. Yeah, it was pretty bad, but feeling a little better now. Are you sure this wasn't your sick baby fetish you had?

It was a worry type. Then Natalie changed you. Yeah, I was holding a rattle, had a bonnet fastened around my head. You guys want to give a shout out to, oh sorry about your back by the way. Thanks buddy. I want to give a shout out to Spoon Nation. Oh God. How about that, you got the whole drop strung out into one wave file.

I got to give a, I give a, the inside scoop or maybe the golden scoop. What do you like better? Inside scoop. Cause I think we got golden plate club. I think we had enough gold. Okay, fine. There's yeah, too much gold. I got to go to Duncan Cary.

He made me this little MP3. That was nice of him. Yeah, at Duncan Cary. Yeah, nice guy. That's great. Thank you Duncan. Thanks. It's all played out for me.

Thanks Duncan for derailing the top of the podcast and perpetuity. We'll now have Mitch playing his long string of drops every episode. And you know what? There's plenty more of those. I got to give a big shout out to Spoon Nation and maybe every week I'll give some member of Spoon Nation an inside scoop. Yeah, to add to the roster and then you can, you can just have like a who's who, a who's who of the inside scoop that probably at some point you'll just start reading at the top

of every podcast, a list of names. Hey, you're in the holiday spirit? I kind of, you know, I mean like here's the thing. I like... Too bad Santa can't bring you a new back. I really, I really like Christmas in general. I really like the Christmas spirit. I like merriment.

I like Christmas carols. I like, I don't like snow because I don't like cold, but I like the idea of snow. I find snow aesthetically pleasing. I don't want to be in the snow. So yeah, I don't know. I like all the Christmas stuff. I think it's fine. I think it's great.

Let's have, every month should have a little theme. I feel like we've got the back end of the year, we've got like, we've got how we've got a spooky month. Then we've got kind of like kind of the Thanksgiving month, although there's not quite enough to sustain that for a full month. And then we got the Christmas month. I feel like just like every month should have like its own sort of thing that really is kind of dominant beyond just sort of like, oh yeah, it's St. Patrick's Day, but that's just one

day, you know? Just make all of March some Irish. Yeah, make it the Irish month. Yeah. Why not? I like that. All right, great. It's the Irish year for me all the time.

I'm always the Irish. It's the Irish thing for me. Yeah. I guess I don't really celebrate, back in Boston, I'd eat boiled dinner or not on St. Patrick's Day or something, but how do you celebrate that much more? It's insulting to the Irish people that people just get drunk, I guess. So yeah, I like the spooky month, Halloween's good, November is what? The turkey month, I guess?

November is the turkey month. And yeah, well I guess October is no longer the spooky month, it's now Rock Dobra Fest, the month of Rock themed restaurants, since the No Boys Podcast has put that in the mainstream culture at this point. I gotta say, there's a lot more non-months than there are months that have anything. It's really just October, November, and December. Well yeah, because what are you gonna do? It's, hey, it's Veterans Day month, you know?

Just commemorate people's sacrifice for a full month, put up some decorations of soldiers' graves. Well, I think we should do that. And if you don't, you're unpatriotic. All right, settle down, Trump. Yeah, I forget, you don't get snow, so you don't, have you ever experienced snow or what? Definitely, yeah.

I mean, California's a very good climate where I've been to places that have snow like Big Bear, or Mountain High, or Mammoth, you know, I've been to places where snow exists, and certainly I've been to like Minneapolis, I've traveled to snowy climates, so. Yeah, I mean, where I'm from, the Boston area, Quincy, there's a lot of snow. Wait a minute, you're from the Boston area? I'm from the Boston area, from Quincy, Massachusetts. I remember when I was younger, I was in middle school, and there's actually Furnace Brook golf course is right near my house back home in Quincy.

It's just like public golf course, I don't know. And there was a big blizzard, and I remember I was down at my friend's house, and I walked from his house like through the golf course, and it was like a big blizzard, and I almost gave up and died. Like halfway through it, I almost, like I was like, I can't do this anymore. I really thought I was going to die, because it was like a big hill, and it was a big blizzard, and there would have been news reports about a little fat kid found frozen in the hills. So as opposed to like the Argentinian soccer team who crashed into a mountain, and ultimately

survived for months by eating the flesh of their deceased teammates, you almost just gave up on life entirely because you had to do some mild physical exertion. You know what? I look back on it as one of my biggest regrets I did it. Let's introduce our guest. She's a writer for Midnight and the upcoming shows Superstore on NBC and Border Town on Fox, one of the very best joke writers around. We're thrilled to have her.

Vanessa Ramos. Hi, Vanessa. Hi, guys. Thanks so much for coming by and making time for our podcast. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Thanks for doing this. I don't know you, so anytime there's a guest on here that I don't know, and they're just

friends with Nick, it's always confusing to me as to why you are friends with Nick. Yeah. Well, I don't know you, and it's confused like, is the chief export of Spoon Town like ... Excuse me? Yeah. Spoon Nation. I'm sorry. Is the chief export of Spoon Nation like sound effects from pole dolls?

Because I'm just, we've never met. I feel like that's kind of out of the gate something that I need to know. Well, get me a pole doll that does little John's what and okay, and I'll be happy this Christmas. I feel like eBay can make that happen very easily. And a pole dog. A pole dog. I'd want one of those two.

A pole doll that does the Spoon Man song. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. We need a Mitch Spoon Man doll that kind of does your signature phrases, which is, other comedians catch raises, and then the song Spoon Man by Soundgarden, and then you complaining to me personally about having to drive out to Burbank to do the podcast. Well, here's the thing with tonight's episode, the Patriots are playing.

Yeah. You love that you're a Big Pats fan. I'm a Big Patriots fan, and I know that that's probably going to maybe make some people in Spoon Nation not happy, but I like the Patriots I like to watch, and again, you know what? Instead, let's come up and do a little podcast. Yeah. Yeah, we'll have fun. It's gonna be fun.

Vanessa seems very nice, even though you did just attack Spoon Nation. I didn't attack. I was inquisitive. Yeah, it was an honest query. Yeah. Let's just say... That's not something when I meet someone, I'm like, oh, there's a string of sound effects. All right.

All right. Let's see why you're friends with Weiger. Vanessa, you're from San Antonio, correct? I am. So, football, I mean, basketball, obviously, they are the Spurs, but do you have a football allegiance at all? No. Are people in San Antonio, what are they like?

Are they like the Cowboys, the Texans? What's going on down there? I think it's mostly Cowboys. I mean, when I was growing up, it was like the Oilers just because they were always at car dealerships. I don't think anybody really cared. It was just kind of like, yeah, they're easier to meet. Yeah.

I just like somehow every kid I knew had like a weird white football signed by Warren Moon growing up. It was just like, oh, yeah, everyone has them. But yeah, I think it's just, it was like people really committed to basketball and then they tried out baseball for a little bit, like not major league, of course, but there's like a really, I'm going to get so much shit right, like sad little minor league team there called the San Antonio Missions of all missions because I think it's from, there's a lot of like historical missions down to like...

Name a team after a building? That's so weird. I don't know. Maybe there's a different thing. What is their mascot? Is Henry the Puffy Taco, and he has a sidekick named Balapeno. And if you like Google, or no, put it like into YouTube, it's just like these sad mascots dancing to the cha-cha slide, and like that sums up a lot of what San Antonio is about

somehow. Wait, so it's a sentient Puffy Taco, which is, I believe, a local dish in San Antonio. And then there's also a, what, the Balapeno, is that a, some sort of football or baseball jalapeno hybrid? Yes. So, no, it's not like a mix of those. It's just a jalapeno with a baseball hat on, and they try to make it like fun so it has like the eyes, the googly eyes that move when it jumps, but it's just like, looks like it

was in a car accident. Yeah. It's just kind of not all there, and then... It sounds like a rejected Jeff Dunham pod puppet. Yes. And then Henry the Puffy Taco is like his fix-ins move around when he dances, like it's not... They really didn't put money into the costumes, but it's almost like seeing a woman bend over and her tits hit the floor.

Like Henry bums me out so much, but yeah, San Antonio pride, man. Relax. You already got Wyger too excited with giant taco. Now you're talking about a lady's tits hitting the floor. This guy's gonna go nuts. So Puffy Tacos are local to San Antonio, is that correct? Is that a thing, is that a local dish you enjoy or is that a local dish you've had in the past?

It is something I've had. It's honestly, it feels like tacos in general of all kinds are like, yeah, a San Antonio thing. Like I think I went through the phone book once and there's like three pages of just places that start with taco and then replace like taco hut, taco haven, taco, like if it's a structure, like they'll put the word taco in front of it and it exists somewhere in San Antonio. Yeah, so, I mean, there's always this big discussion and we've touched on it here before

of what do you like better, you know, tacos or burritos and there's a lot of people out there who, I'm a burrito guy and a lot of people take offense to that in a lot of ways. Yeah, I think I'd go taco, but it's like, I can enjoy them both. I'm seeing taco, I don't know, it was raised on tacos, like my real introduction to burritos was like the bad to the bone sting on married with children whenever he'd like just eat a burrito. Wait, I don't remember this. Remember that?

Like Al Bundy loved burritos and then like shortly after, was it, yeah, I think it would like play bad to the bone and he would grab a newspaper and walk into the bathroom. Oh, I always took that as, that was like he's going to the bath, like he's going to take a shit song. Yeah, but I think a lot of time, not all the time, but it was like, I think the burrito was the setup. For sure. Okay.

In certain situations. So I had never really had burrito. It was always, because my, you know, my grandmother made tacos, my mom made tacos. It wasn't really a burrito family. And then so I was just kind of like, oh yeah, those are the things that you eat and then take a massive shit. Like I don't really, I don't want to explore that world. Well, you're kind of right, I guess.

I also assume that only fat women shop at shoe stores because of married with children. What a different era of television where just like there are so many punchlines of married with children. The Fox show in the 80s and early 90s war was involved like insulting a woman for being overweight. Oh my God. That's so insane. Like to think of, to think of if you did that on a show, I mean, there probably is a show

that does this nowadays that I just don't know about. But just like that's such a crazy, archaic, like kind of comedy. Yeah. And he would, okay, so he would walk in because it was a studio audience and he would get like, you know, the big applause at O'Neill. And the first thing he would say was like a fat woman galloped into the shoe store today or a fat woman oozed into the shoe store. It was always that line, but replacing like, replacing the verb with something that implied

like that she was fatter than he just said. Yeah. It was, it was insane. You know what? I kind of like Al Bundy. So this is hard for me to hear this stuff. But I do think that that was a completely different time. Yeah.

I know that like a lot of the writing staff of that show is very progressive. Like they, and I truly mean this. Yeah. Like, I mean, it was a Hollywood writing room. So, but I think, I think a lot of people on that show were, were actually super progressive. I think, yeah, I think it kind of followed in all in the family model of, it was like kind of like the satire of, we're not saying you should aspire to be Al Bundy, but it is, there definitely was a large segment of the audience that took him at face value and was

like, no, ma'am. Yeah. You know. I always, I always thought that like, no, ma'am, like it was a, you know, it was a joke. Yeah. But yeah, it's, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's tricky. But you know what I will say that they did right was that they make fun of Bud Bundy for being a DJ.

And now that's not only acceptable, but seen as cool. And I liked that Married With Children stance on it was that it was stupid that Bud was a, or right? Grandmaster B. Yeah. Grandmaster B. I don't remember this. I don't hear in there, but I don't, I don't have as much of an encyclopedic knowledge

as you guys. Now I'm starting to think like, wait, is David Faustino just a DJ and he was a rapper in the show? Like on 90210 with What's His Face? Yeah. And now I can't, now I can't tell if I'm- Brian Austin Green, yeah. Yeah.

Maybe I'm mixing- Maybe. Maybe I'm mixing it all up. He might have been. I feel like he tried to do music for a while. Yeah. Maybe he was just a DJ. Oh, shit.

Oh, well. Yeah. That was a show that I had to sneak. I don't watch The Simpsons, but I could watch it and get away with it, but Marry With Children was one like I like really, like I would have to sneak and watch it and then if she saw me watching it, she'd get mad and be like, you got to turn it off. Like she didn't like Marry With Children. And this is back when there were, truly back when there was like seven dials on the TV.

Yeah, yeah. And that's, we're very old and that's pathetic, but that, it was when like Fox 25 had in lemon color and The Simpsons and Marry With Children, that was quite the lineup. That was quite, it was quite an era of television. Did you have a, bitch, did you ever watch Home Improvement? Is that a show of yours? Oh. So that's a yes, okay.

I love the, but that's where you're a Home Improvement fan at all? Not really. I mean, like any, well like any girl, like I was kind of in the age group where I was more of a Jonathan Taylor Thomas fan as opposed to the show itself. I got you. That's probably what my idea was in hindsight. My, the reason I bring it up is because you're talking about Bud Bundy's DJ career or hip hop career, whatever it was, but the story arc that was always crazy to be on Home Improvement

is there was a period where the youngest son, Mark, became a goth. I remember that. And it was like a, it was like a season long arc where he just like became like a, he just became this dark goth kid who hung out with other goth kids. It was really like weird and it was like 1997. So it was like. That's crazy. A little ahead of its time in terms of that culture.

In the last episode, like they find out he has plans to shoot out the school. Jesus. I feel the need to clarify on the Married with Children front, I was like a kid and didn't quite get it. And my dad watched it and I think it was a thing that was like, oh yeah, I should understand what's going on. And like for me, it was like, because Buck, the dog, like talked kind of like they always had, they had someone doing the voice of Buck, that's right.

What he was thinking. Yes. He was like, oh, I think he was just like, yeah, she likes the talking dog and yeah, maybe the bright color. I don't know what my father thought, but I retained a lot more from that than he would probably prefer. I know the voice of Buck, the talking dog, Kevin Curran, great, great man. Oh wow.

Yeah. One of my bosses over at the Simpsons, great guy. He was the voice of Buck. Love Kevin. That's amazing. He's a great. What a nice little thing in your IMDB to have. Did I know the voice of Buck?

I don't mean for Kevin. No, for Kevin. For you. Yeah. That's so nice for you. Well, knowing Kevin is the best. The voice of Buck, the Buck, the dog. The voice of Buck, the dog is a great, great man, that's what I'll say.

That's great. That's great to hear. Vanessa, so more on the San Antonio front. So we've had a couple of Texans on the podcast before and I'm always interested in the opinion of Tex-Mex food versus the kind of Mexican food that's available in Los Angeles and Southern California and as a resident of both places. What is your stance on that? I have not found California Mexican food that matches up.

Wow. I think we talked about a little bit when you and I were on Jordan and Jesse go, but there's one place that was somewhere out in the valley that was just, remember, the menu was all pictures and it was me and a bunch of landscapers and that was kind of the most legit Mexican food I found out here. Sure. San Antonio, it's like you can go two in the morning and find a place that's open that has way better, because for me, the standards, and Chiladas, it's basic.

Sure. You get cheese, that's the main part of that. Cheese tortilla and the sauce or whatever and I've been amazed at how poorly it's done out here in Los Angeles or they feel the need to be like, yeah, but what about if we add some soft shell crab and they're like, yeah, that's great, but that's not authentic. Yeah, I get you. It does, I believe you, but it hurts my feelings as a lifelong Southern California because I am like, I feel like we have good Mexican food here and then to hear from someone from

Texas to be like, I feel like the consensus of what I've heard from people from Texas is that it's just better there and I'm just like, I'm surprised it makes me want to go there and see what the difference is and I also wonder too, it feels like both states have like enough of like a Mexican population and a proximity to Mexico where you'd expect it to be roughly on par. So it's interesting here in Mexico is like, or I'm sorry, Texas is considered so superior, you know. Yeah, well, even just, I think I don't, over here, I don't see a lot of, like when my mom

like makes food, you know, she uses cheese, she uses the white cheese, it's called like Oaxaca cheese. Okay. And that's not something like usually here, it's like, I see, you know, it's cheddar, like it's yellow, it's rice is different. Oaxaca, and I'm probably still watching that, but that cheese is amazingly good. So it is a huge upgrade over American cheese, like it shouldn't, American cheese shouldn't be used in its place.

I mean, it's fantastic. My thing is like, you know, I come from the Boston area, Quincy, as I said earlier. So, you know, growing up to me, Mexican food was scary, like for me as a child, it was a different world. This is a young boy, Nick, when I was five years old, and we go to a Mexican restaurant, and I remember there were like mariachi kind of puppets, I guess, hanging from the ceiling. And at that point, I was really afraid of like Chucky and dolls coming to life. Is this leading to you being afraid of Mexican food?

Yeah, so in turn, I am now terrified of Mexican food. I was afraid of, and so every time going in there, it just felt like this, it felt very, very exotic to me as a boy. And I was just talking about this recently, like really for me growing up, the only thing that the only kind of food that we got besides Italian was like Chinese food, and like, you know, the very Americanized Chinese food, like the poo poo platter and fried rice sort of deal. But not having a huge experience, you know, I started eating it as I got older, but still,

you know, like the best that Boston has. But then when I came out here, I love some of the tacos and burritos that you can get here, and I've gone out in San Diego and had some really great stuff. My question is just the Tex-Mex thing, because like Mexican food in Texas, I hear is completely different. And then sometimes I don't like that, like that place home state, have you been there? I have not. That people are like, this is like Texas Mexican food, and I don't like it as much.

It's like, this is an LA place that's trying to recreate Tex-Mex. Yeah, I'm sorry. It's an LA restaurant that, yeah, it has a lot of Tex-Mex meals, but and I wonder, it's still good. Don't get me wrong, I think it's still really good, but I love kind of the Southern California, especially in San Diego and stuff, version of tacos and burritos. But is there a big difference to you between, you know, Tex-Mex and the Mexican here, besides like the enchiladas and stuff?

Yeah, there's like little things, but I wouldn't say like overall, it's like the same basic. It's like, oh, yeah, that looks like that, except for maybe I feel like the default here a lot of times is like, oh, black beans, which just doesn't happen over there. Oh, interesting. Borracho beans or it's like, you know, refried, like your options are different. What was the first beans? Borracho? Yeah.

But I think it's called borracho. Borracho beans? Yeah. Oh, okay. I never know if I'm saying that right. I never, the weird thing, I don't particularly care for beans. I never get them. Yeah.

So my mom would kill me, but yeah, she knows like a million different kinds of beans. My mother is also the person that you can give her the spiciest thing in the world and she'll put a handful of jalapenos on top of it. Wow. That used to be me. And then I, there was a turning point, like back when I was in high school, they'd like my, I remember I was over my buddy Brian's house and they'd like, eat this hot pepper and I eat it and everything.

Like I would just eat tons of hot stuff and it wouldn't bug me too much. And now I just turn the corner and I can't do it anymore. Like my stomach is just messed up. Like I'll eat it and I'm like, I feel sick and I'll start sweating and feel like I'm going to die. But at one point I could do it, but I don't know, your mom must, she must, she's, she's a trooper. I can't handle anything even remotely spicy and I think it's just because she just over

did it. I mean, she still like does that. But remember when I was a kid, she'd be watching like these weird, um, and my mother like is an English speaker first, but still like this makes her sound like she lived in a village or something. But she would like sit on the couch watching like the, the telenovelas and she had like a red one and she had this like kind of green cylinder jar just filled with jalapenos and she would just eat them like they're grapes.

Wow. And I was like, what? Like, yeah. And I'm like, even if I opened that container, my eyes would be watering. I don't know how you're doing that. That's like a thing you'd see to like establish that a villain in a movie was a badass. Like the guy that was going to get in a fist fight with the hero in the third act would be eating jalapenos raw out of a jar earlier.

Unless they stop using like women banging hamburgers for Carl's Jr. It's just going to be my mom eating jalapenos. Are you extreme? Well, no matter what she eats as a snack, it's never going to be as weird or as gross as Nick Weigar eating a spoonful of mayo. I have done that before. You know what? I confess to eating a spoonful of mayo on the podcast and someone reach out to me via

Twitter and say they do it too. I think it's a common thing. The other thing I also confess to on the podcast, which is I would use to have a snack, which I would pour myself a bowl of blue cheese dressing and then take croutons and dip them in it like chips and dip and just eat that. The two unhealthy components from a salad, I would throw the rest away. I had someone else on Twitter reach out to me and say they did the same thing. So you know what?

I think it's healthy to disclose what your consumption proclivities are because maybe there's someone else out there and you're not alone. Yeah, but that's something you do if you work at a soup plantation. Like I'm sure they ask the other person if they work because it's kind of like, yeah, okay, I can get away with taking these two things that my boss was saying, like, you're doing it just to hang out. Yeah, no, I would do this at my home. I would have these two items purchased and then I would make my little snack.

Natalie told me on your first date, you brought her out for a plate of croutons and blue cheese. No, I don't think it's good that other freaks are relating to you. I eat mayo too from the spoon. I like it. Because you know what? Spoon Man says no, no, no, that's a no, no. You can't use the spoon to eat a big fucking dollop of mayo. Is this a new Spoon Man thing, the Spoon Man no, no?

I can't do that to Paul Russ. Oh yeah, that's right, that's right, that's right, his new no, no is a signature bit rather. Let's get to Arby's. So you describe yourself with SI, I believe your Twitter bio says you're the Kate Middleton of Arby's. What is your association, affiliation interest in this particular franchise? Okay, so Arby's and I, we have a weird relationship. I love Arby's The Establishment, but I've had some weird history with their social media

presence. Interesting. But Kate Middleton of Arby's came from, I had gone through the drive-thru and I kind of like worked my charms and was like, hey, can I get some extra Arby's sauce? And like they made it rain Arby's sauce and like I left there and I was like, I'm clearly the Kate Middleton of this Arby's, like, I felt like royalty, I think they even put an extra potato cake in there, which I was thrilled about. And so that's kind of where that came from, I feel like I was treated right.

And then so, I mean, of course, return, but I've been eating Arby's since I was a kid and I just kind of do the classics, do like roast beef sandwich, no beef and cheddar, even just keep it real. And then it kind of potato cakes because who doesn't love and any time hash brown and curly fries, depending on the mood. Sometimes they'll do both. A lot of times if you order potato cakes, they'll throw a couple of curly fries in so you get a little bit of both taste.

We, yeah, we, that's, what do we call that, the little special in one of those bagels? I don't know if there's a name, but there is like, when you get a little cross pollination, when you get like an order of fries and you get, we get a single onion ring in there or just like, you know, like what you, like you were saying, some curly fries tossed into your potato cakes. It's so satisfying and it almost makes you wish they would just be, a place would just have that as like, oh yeah, you get an order of fries, they throw a couple of curly fries in there, you know, just like a little bit of variety.

I gotta say that the Arby's curly fries are very, very good. I, I was on my way out of Arby's and then I stopped and I was like, I'm gonna get curly fries too. And I went back and got an order of, and I was so glad that I did because they're so good. They were like one of the few fries and I wrote this down, but they're, they're one of the only fries that I don't want to ever use ketchup. I mean, I-

Yes, no, I don't do ketchup with them either. Yeah, they don't need ketchup, which is, I mean, it's just the perfect spice level. I love them. They're really good. I love the Arby's curly fries and, you know, my point of reference for comparison, the curly fries I had first or the Jack in the Box curly fries, Arby's are better. The Arby's curly fries are better. They're just better seasoned.

They're more consistent. They've got a great crispness to them. A great curl too. A great curl. I mean, there's just like, that's part of the funny eating them. Do you know what though? They're also like, when you, sometimes when you get curly fries and you get a curly fry, it can be soft potato.

You know what I mean? Like you're like, oh, they didn't, they're not crisps still, but they're, like you said, they really, they really cook them through. And I'll tip my hat to Arby's because they're, they're pretty spicy. They do, they do like a pretty good job of, of, like for mainstream American fry, they're, they're a spicy fry. Yeah. I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I mean, to me, they don't seem particularly spicy, but they're

a little, they, they do have a little bit of a kick to them. I don't know. Vanessa, you're not, you're, you're the opposite of a spice seeker. So what do you think? I'm not a spice person, but I've never had issues with them. I don't know if it's quite a spice or if it's like a paprika taste or something, you know. I'm saying they have, they have, they have bite to it. It's not like eating a buffalo one.

Yeah. Jesus. It's not like I'm eating Tabasco sauce. I'm just saying, hey, this got some spice for a mainstream fry. Yeah. Spices are supposed to heat. Yeah. And you agree.

Yeah. Like they definitely use something in place of like, I mean, they probably use salt as well, but most places I feel like, oh, just put more salt on it versus like Arby's is like, no, we're going to do something special. Yeah. I like it. Whatever their mix of seasonings is, it's, it's great and it's a, it is, it's just very unique and I feel like they just have a, they do those curly fries the best.

I got, I got, well, I got a question for you. Now this is kind of big. What's your Mount Rushmore fries? Okay. So we're talking about some sort of figurative entity monument to fries that would have four different fries on it. And you're saying they could be any, like curly fries included. Yes.

Sweet potato fries included. Yeah, you can, but you're wrong. I'm saying from specific places where I'm trying to define the parameters and you're saying of your four favorite fries. Yeah. Fuck. That is tough. I think I know mine.

Okay. Okay. Here, can we, can I do them one at a time and can we, can we sort of go around and try and, try and do this as an extra? Sure. Have a beat to think. I'll, I'll, I'll give you an easy one. Yeah.

One of these is on there. I would put McDonald's fries as one of my Mount Rushmore, as I think that goes in Washington's place. How about you Vanessa? Oh, so I would also have McDonald's up there, but Chick-fil-A waffle fries. Oh, that's a good one. That's a really good one. See, this gets really tricky, I think, as you come down the fry ladder, because I think

yes, McDonald's 100%. And then for me, 100% also Wendy's fries. And then after that, it's tough. Those last two spots are tough. I don't, I tell you, I'm not willing to give Wendy's a slot yet. I would say probably, we've just been talking about, but I would put our Arby's Curly Fries. I'd say get rid of Lincoln, stick those Arby's Curly Fries right there. That would take one of them.

Probably, everyone knows Washington and Lincoln are up there. Who the hell are those other two guys? That's like the same thing with these fries. It's a tough call. Yeah, I think, I don't know, what do you think, Vanessa, any ideas for your third and fourth slots? No, I mean, I'm with you on McDonald's, Chick-fil-A, Arby's, you gotta have a Curly Fry up there. I feel like, that's why I brought it up, Arby's might be it.

I don't know. I tell you what I would do. I think I would stick for my remaining slots. I think I would put Del Taco Crinkle Cut Fries because I love Del Taco and I think their fries are just unique and interesting. I think, boy, my fourth slot, I might get, I'm gonna sit for one second because I want to make sure that I'm mentally okay with this because when I vocalize it, it just might cause some trouble for me.

So I'm gonna think about it for a second. My mom's fries are so stupid. No, wait, so what are your four, Mitch? Wendy's, McDonald's, Arby's, and... I don't know. I'm the same way. I mean, I asked this question knowing it was a tough question. I don't necessarily have the answers to all this, but I don't know.

You know what? Hashtag, mount fry more, let us know what your favorite fries are. That's a good hashtag. Yeah, you know what? Coming around mine out with, I don't know if they have it anywhere other than the Texas, but there's Bill Miller's barbecue and it's mostly, you can get barbecue sandwiches and chicken or whatever, but they do a solid, like a fat fry. Oh, that sounds good.

Which I'm normally... Oh, man. Not like, I don't have a lot of places where I enjoy the fat fries, but they do a great fat fry and I feel like that's a good, gives me some good variety in my Mount Rush. Fat burger, if you have a crispy fat fries from Fat Burger, they are some of the best fries. Those are really tasty. I think for my Mount Frymore, if we're kicking off Teddy Roosevelt, Teddy Roosevelt, right?

See? Who knows? No one knows. Who's the fourth guy? James. Yeah. That's the tricks. Yeah.

No, I think my fourth, I'm going to commit to it, Wienerschnitzel. I like the Wienerschnitzel skinny fries. They're very good. They have a chili cheese fry that's very good there. As plain fries, they're very tasty. I think they have a nice, I love that shoestring quality. I think I'd go Wienerschnitzel. Wow.

All right. That's pretty good. Maybe... You're going to think about it a little bit. I mean, I probably will never answer. But I did. Yeah. The hashtag Mount Frymore.

I did come up with that off the top of my head. I know people will probably be like, that's too genius of a hashtag to come up with off the top of your head. But I would love to hear of people's top four fries. It's tough. Yeah, it is tough. I mean, you agree on Wendy's, right? No, I didn't put Wendy's in mine.

Wait, what? No, mine are McDonald's, Arby's, Del Taco and Wienerschnitzel. Then I am mad at you. Wendy's are good. I like the Wendy's ones. But honestly, if I'm talking about an order of fries, and also, since we're introducing varietals of fries, the Wienerschnitzel chili cheese fries are better than the Wendy's chili cheese fries.

Oh, god damn it. Because the Wienerschnitzel chili is better than the Wendy's chili. Fries, I'm talking straight up fries. No, you said you expanded it. You can have curly fries or crinkle cut fries. The fries can be cut in season different. They can't have a fucking chopped up burger on top of them, you fucking asshole. Of course, you love a chopped up burger and cheese on top of your fries.

I like you are referring to chili, a dish as a chopped up burger. I feel like I'm about to see you grab Nick by the neck. It happens every podcast. At this point, I think both of us are confident that that is how I'm going to die. I will die at the bare hands of Mike Mitchell in the studio. And I'll die with, put him down, and I'll just be laughing, crushing his neck as bullets go through me. Let's probably shop by some corrupt cop.

Oh, alright. I want to win people over over time. So Vanessa, how frequent is a visit to Arby's for you these days? It depends on my work schedule. I think I was doing a weekly Arby's trip for a while. Wow. That is consistent. Yeah, that's good.

It also depended. I could very much justify if I was in the part of town where there's an Arby's, I mean, when am I going to be here again next week, turns out. But yeah, now I think I haven't had Arby's, now maybe a couple months, but I also started trying to get my life together and working out like someone who's not a garbage person. So now after- Do you mean like Nick and I? How often has Arby's business like dipped because people just decided to get their lives together?

I mean, you have to ask the stock holders on that. And then gone right back up because people can't do that. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a dip in the new year and then by February 15th, everyone's like fuck it on the Arby's. With a vengeance. But your regular order you talked about, like commonly you'll get like a, is it a regular

roast beef and some potato cakes, is that pretty much your go-to? I'll tend to do like a large roast beef and potato cakes and sometimes do the fries too. I'm not really big on fast food shake, unless it's like in and out I enjoy a shake, a water burger in Texas, like a good shake from there, Arby's I feel like, yeah, Arby's I feel like I can do with that and especially, I think because they're trying to be too like Jamoka almond, I'm like, I have a chocolate shake. Yeah, simplify a little bit. But you know what, while we're here, what's on your guys Mount Shake more?

Oh my God. I would say I would definitely put in and out burger on there, in and out burger. In and out is one for me as well. And then I would also put on a Dairy Queen Blizzard. I feel like that's an easy slot. But does that count? Yeah, absolutely. Dairy Queen Blizzard, hear me out here, that's one that I can't really drink through the

straw. You're right, but I think it's still absolutely qualified. I don't think, I think that's ice cream, my man. Wow. I see why you're torn on this, but I want to give it to you. I do. That's because you're his friend. But you need a spoon to eat it, but maybe you just play the waiting game and then, you

know, you can drink it up. Yeah, I feel like it has, but no one, no one wants an old Blizzard that's melted down. Listen to you two. I'm not saying you let it melt all the, there's ways to make it work. I feel like you're not believing. Yeah. I think it absolutely. It's a mixed ice cream and milk, like concoction that, and just because it's got the, it's

got like a little thicker texture and it's got some mix ins and it's a little bit straw unfriendly. I don't think makes it not a shake. I don't think you can, I mean, it's a McFlurry. So a shake at McDonald's is a shake, but a McFlurry is not a shake. Is that your convention? Can you drink a McFlurry through a straw? Not the straw they give you.

No, because they give you, they give you a, they give you a spoon, a hybrid that's got like an open end, but you can't actually suck through that thing. You got to get, but if you get one of their soda straws, I think you can kind of make it work. It's like that old saying goes, through the straw, that's a milkshake paw with the spoon. Oh fuck. I couldn't make anything up fast enough. Why, why, why are you grimacing?

I was like trying, attempting like the mildest skateboard trick and then just eating shit immediately. With a spoon, that's ice cream, you buffoon. That's the old saying. And listen. Would not have been impressive if you'd landed it. All right, sure, there's no scenario where that's impressive, but there's also no scenario where that's a milkshake.

That is an ice cream through and through. It's a mixed up ice cream. I love, I love blizzards. Yeah. That's, that's not a milkshake though. I really don't think so. Also, I have a hard time putting a frosty on there because you don't really drink a frosty. I love frosties.

You wait, you don't think a frosty is a shake? It feels like a frozen ice cream treat to me. I got, I got a, I feel like with milkshake. Frozen ice cream treat, how pedantic are you being? I'm telling you, man, if it's a milkshake, you got to drink it through the fucking straw. It got to go, it's got to go, it's got to travel through a tube. I mean, I've had some like thick milkshake where they're like, oh, this is a milkshake and it's, yeah, it's.

Can you do the combo and you're drinking it and eating it with a straw? But I don't know, I'm saying that like a blizzard is not made to be drank at all. You can agree with that. I, I don't know. I think we're being, I think you can drink it out the side. Spoon nation, help me out here. I want to hear what people are on. Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, maybe we're not going to resolve Mount Shakemore since we can't even agree on what a shake is, but, but I think the, I think at minimum the Wendy's Frosty is a shake. I mean, come on, man. Do you put it on your Mount Shakemore? Hmm. Yeah, probably. Okay. That's probably, that's probably a pretty easy slot.

So. I'll also say Carl's Jr. They do do good shakes with Carl's Jr. They have great shakes. Yeah. Vanessa, let's, so Arby's has a variety of sauces and for just to refresh everyone's memory, I think generally you get the horsey sauce and the Arby's sauce is your big too. They've also got like the ketchup.

What do you do in terms of sauces? Do you just kind of roll with what they got? They put on the bun or are you someone who customized a little bit? Arby's sauce all day. I don't, don't mess around with the horsey sauce. Like I don't, just something, it's so pungent that I don't trust it. Yeah. Like if somebody else is eating Arby's or horsey sauce, like two rooms down, you know

they're having horsey sauce. Like it's so, I guess it's vinegar based. I don't know. It's got like a little horseradish to it and it's kind of like this mayo-y sort of carry. I mean, I like horsey sauce, but it's, it's its own thing and I, it strikes me as the kind of thing that's going to be polarizing in the way that something like cilantro is. You're just either going to like it or you're not.

But I'll generally put a little horsey sauce on whatever I've got from Arby's. I'll get horsey sauce, a little side up horsey sauce and I'll dip it into, you know, I'll dip it in there a little bit because specifically roast beef sandwiches are, you know, you're supposed to have horseradish with roast beef. Which is a weird thing that they go together anyways, but I'll do a little taste of it. And then I'll go over to, you know, like the, I think at my lunch I had the, the horsey sauce and then what, what's the other one, the Arby's sauce. Yeah.

Yeah. So yeah, Mitch and I can get into our recent, our recent visits to this particular chain. So Mitch, what did you have last time you were at Arby's? So I went to the great Arby's on Sunset Boulevard, that big giant Arby sign. And I, you guys were talking about, I don't, I always thought it was like, is it supposed to look like barbecue or something? Like it's supposed to play into barbecue. What?

Do you mean the actual? The hat? The big hat sign. Yeah. It's supposed to be like barbecue. I don't know. Like a, I've heard a lot of different things like the hat is supposed to spell out barb or something.

I don't know. My, my idea of what Arby's is, like the sign, the hat on the sign is supposed to be like a B or, I don't, I forget. I've never, I have, I have not heard this. But is Arby's supposed to be... Spoon nation, is Mike having a stroke? I've heard things. I've heard, is Arby's supposed to be like barbecue though in some way to settle that,

right? No. Did you not listen to my intro? It is just the intro. Your intros are so boring. No they're not. I found it very informative and entertaining. Thank you Vanessa.

Oh God, Vanessa, you need to stop protecting Nick. Nick, next episode I'm going to have my mom on so that she can stick up for me when you call me a fat guy and, and have my back on every fucking argument. Yeah, I would love to have Mrs. Mitch. Oh shut the fuck up. I would, she would be welcome in this studio and you know what, she would also, if she ever wants to call in and tell us a little bit about little Mitch as adventures attempting to walk home and nearly dying in the snow, I would, I would love for her to be a guest

at some point. All right, well sorry for even trying to get into that. My experience with Arbys has been small because there weren't many Arbys, if any, in my neck of the woods. Wait, really? Yeah. Is that, wait, hold on, so because this is, I always thought Arbys was a pretty well-known nationwide chain, but you're just saying there just aren't a lot in the Boston area?

There weren't a ton in the Boston area. But they do exist. They do, they do exist. Okay. Yeah, but man, I, I, I did not experience one at all when I was younger. Then I went to college and my buddy Luke always raved about Arbacue sandwiches and, and I tried it. I think, I think I tried it for the first time when I was in college and I know in Hanford

loves Arbys and then when I got out here, I had it a few times, but it's not, it's not my favorite thing, but I like that there's a place for roast beef sandwiches. I think that's kind of fun and funny in a lot of different ways. So I, I, I, I enjoy Arbys all right. I got the, a jalapeno roast beef slider and that was okay. It felt kind of cheap and like the cheese was melted to the bottom of the container, but I don't know why you would ever get it, like the slider version when you can get it right. So sandwich, I got the fried chicken slider, which was much better.

It reminded me of a chicken little, do you remember those old chicken littles? What were those from? I think they were from Burger King. Okay. Okay. Like a small, like a small chicken sandwich. Small chicken sandwich. It was really good.

Nice soft bun. Vanessa, have you tried the sliders at Arbys they have these days? I have not. It's a recent addition to the menu and they're like, they're at the one dollar price point and I've, you know, I had a couple on my, my recent visit, I'll let you finish Mitch, but they are, I will say, like as a value proposition, those sliders I think are pretty good for a buck. And I think you get a couple of those, two or three of those, or two of those in a side

and a, and a cup of water, you can fill yourself up pretty cheap. Yeah. The chicken, the fried chicken slider I thought was tasty. I'd get it again. It was like cheap, like was your, there was cheese just melted on the bottom of the container. It just felt like kind of like whatever, but it was the, the, the, especially the fried chicken one was, was tasty. I also got the mozzarella sticks and they were fantastic.

I will say that the mozzarella sticks in the marinara packet, they had a really great marinara. I think that fast food packets of marinara are, are so hard to get, like they're so hard to make it good or whatever, like the, you, you very rarely find a good one in Arbys had one of the best tasting marinara sauces I've had. Yeah. I've gotten those mozzarella sticks in the past from Arbys and they are pretty good and they do have a pretty good, they do have a pretty good marinara sauce. I will say the similar, the appetizer that I maybe missed the most is there was a thing

they had a brief period at Jack in the Box in the late 80s. They had the fried raviolis and which I understand is, yeah, it was like, it's like a local St. Louis delicacy that they put to, I tend to put it as a fast food on a side and it was basically like a marinara stick except it had a little bit of that ravioli texture and it really good cheese inside and just like a really good marinara dip and sauce you get with that. And they had them for like six months in like 1989 and they disappeared forever. But I always have like a, I have like a, a great amazing memory of those, but I will say

that the mozzarella sticks, which a lot of places I feel like don't do so well are pretty good at Arbys. They have a nice crispy outer shell, you know, like that's, that's, that's a, that's a big part of it, I feel like. Do you have outside of the potato cakes, Vanessa? Are there any other, any other, the sides, the more exotic sides at, at Arbys that you've sampled or that you enjoy? No, I just stick to the classics, you know, I really, yeah, potato cakes and curly fries

because it's kind of the thing. If like, I'm going to, if I want like, you know, chicken, then I'll go to a place that does chicken. Sure. You know, if I, yeah, I have designated places. There's not another like Institute of roast beef that's convenient. Once you settle, once you settle into your order, I feel like, you know, that's, that's, that becomes a thing about the place.

I feel like sometimes if you just got to kind of fixate it on one thing, unless you get that you're not satisfying that craving. So I totally understand that. I don't want to roll the dice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know how I feel about these. Like, I don't, something feels very like, you know, stop skateboarding on my sidewalk about like, they keep adding all these, like, we got the meats and now they do pastrami.

Now they do like turkey things and now they do, and I'm just like, yeah, but why? Yeah. People not happy with what Arby's Arby's did the same thing and it worked. It's like the in and out menu where there's not a lot of options, but you know what you're going there for. And now they're trying to like cater to everyone and they're like, oh, we have brisket now. And it's like, do you, do you really Arby's? Yeah.

That's, that's really strange to me that the, the, the deli side of Arby's, which, which I didn't really indulge in, but they, they, they've really tried to have like, oh, there, there's this deli side where you, there's like the, these nice. The market fresh sandwiches. Yeah. That kind of bread. Really? You're telling me the junior college student that you have back there is also trained as

a butcher, like stop it Arby's. I, I, I don't understand why they do it either. It's, it's, uh, to me, to me, I mean, like it's about the, the roast beef sandwiches, most of all, but I will say I did like the little fried chicken cider was good. I liked it. And I, and I, and I feel like, I feel like, um, like when I go, I mean, I'm a big fan. That guy. So there's a, there's a big difference probably.

But if I go to like Wendy's or something, if I get like a spicy chicken sandwich and I do get another sandwich or something or like a, if I'm picking out, I'd want a beef sandwich. I kind of want two different things. A little bit of contrast. Yeah. Yeah. It is, you know what, I will say this and I'm generally a slider skeptic, but I think

the nice thing about the Arby's sliders is that they're just like a little larger than the, than the normal slider. I feel like we've kind of gotten the, like a lot of those sliders are almost Oreo size. They're like very, very compact. And this is like just a little bit bigger. So for $1, you feel like you're getting your money's worth, but it also works as a little side sandwich. And sometimes you want, you don't want a second entire sandwich.

That's excessive, but a little side sandwich. I agree. It totally works. 100%. Sometimes I do that over fries. Hmm. That's my move. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, I also got the jalapeno bites. Uh, not bad. Did those come with the Bronco berry dipping sauce? They certainly did. They were kind of like the, I had the typical jalapeno popper problem, which was it burned my mouth and it all came out in one bite and left the shell. Yeah.

But it was still decent. They, they, they, they did like a kind of a decent job with their appetizer. I was surprised for fat, like truly a fast food place, you know, like a, this is in the TGI Fridays or something. Like they, they, they did a, they did, they did a good job. The mozzarella sticks were better, but the Bronco berry sauce is so weird, but it's also oddly addicting. I don't know what the deal is with it, but it's, it's like a weird sweet and sourie

sauce, but it's, it was addicting. Have you ever indulged in the Bronco berry sauce of Vanessa? I have not. I don't like the sound of it. I don't plan on trying it. It's very weird and it's a very weird accompaniment and I'm just like, so much focus testing goes into a fast food menu item that I'm just like, I'm so amazed that they arrived on Bronco berry sauce.

And it's not like this is like, oh, they're trying it out. It's been like that for like a decade. Yeah. That's just like what, what you get when you get your jalapeno poppers there. And it's the only side it comes with is the Bronco berry sauce. It's basically just like a, like a raspberry jam. It's bizarre. Yeah.

It sounds like, you're talking about the focus testing. It sounds like they like kept going back and forth or like, I don't know. We need something that sounds like masculine, but also women won't be afraid to try. So it's like, great, let's just put those together at Bronco, but it also has, like, it's the like made for him, but we're, you know, that deodorant commercial strong enough for a man made for a woman of like shitty sauces. It might not be shitty. I don't know.

I just don't like the name. I worked it and I liked it because it was tough, like me. It was, it's weirdly addicting, but it's such a weird thing. Maybe it thinks, maybe it makes people go, oh, it's kind of like fruity while I'm eating these fried jalapeno poppers, like, like, yeah, like maybe this is adds a little like real like fruit to this or something. I don't know where they're coming from. I don't know either.

I don't like it. Why not though, but why not just like a ranch or something? Because I feel like that's the conventional dipping sauce. I got a ranch as well. Yeah. I feel like that's, I feel like if you're going to get those bites, which I didn't get on my last visit, but if you get those jalapeno bites, I would get some sort of ranch dressing. For my Sam, and then for, so this is obviously already a huge meal, which I've described.

I also got a beef and cheddar, which was good. And I get it. I get what the sandwich is. I got the mid-sized one, but my complaint was that there was too much beef in that one and not enough cheddar. So I almost would have gone with the smaller one and then there's an even larger one that has even more beef and I wouldn't want, but I wouldn't want that. I like, I like my sandwiches really balanced.

So I made the mid one was a mistake. I should have gotten the smaller one. Nice onion bun. I really liked that onion bun. Yeah. But you know, like kind of like a little squishy and soft and wet, but I still like the bun, but not enough, yeah, not enough cheddar or barbecue sauce on that sandwich. But still, that's like one of their classic sandwiches, a good sandwich, of course.

Yeah. Now, Novesa, I know you get, you get, you have your standard order, but the cheese sauce specifically at Arby's, I feel like is notable. Is that a, you've, have you had the beef and cheddar in the past and you had the cheese sauce? I have. I dabbled in beef and cheddar for a little bit and then just decided like, nah, I'd rather just slather it in Arby's sauce.

Cause like the cheddar, it was the thing of like, oh, you know, half of it stuck to the wrapper. Like I could never get that. They could never get the ratio down. It is a mess and it's just kind of sliding all over the place. But I do think that cheese sauce is really good and you know, Nali really likes that cheese sauce. She kind of, of got me into it and she, what she always does, and maybe this is another

thing that, cause I have adopted this, maybe this is another thing it would be funny for. Does she spoon for you and your baby? Yeah. Your baby mom? Yeah. Um, I'll, uh, show, she gets a side of cheese sauce to have for dipping with the, with the curly fries and I do that consistently and it's pretty good. I know you guys are saying that you don't have, have any ketchup with the curly fries,

but that cheese sauce is a pretty nice accompany with the curly fries and I think it's just an extra 50 cents. So I generally do that. That's good to know. Yeah. I think that's really good. I don't know. I like the beef and cheddar because I like that.

I like that there's a sandwich with the nacho cheese. It's kind of the same thing as fud ruckers. Nacho is the wrong word, but that, that kind of cheese sauce, you know, yeah, I don't know. That's just like a fun, different thing versus the slice of American or cheddar you'll get on most burgers. Yeah. With mine, I had a side of Arby sauce and a side of horsey sauce, which I dipped into kind of both of them, but I would, I wish I had known your hack beforehand or I would

have done that. I like it. Yeah. I chopped it all off with a large Mountain Dew. So this, this meal wins the bypass award for the most unhealthy meal I've maybe ever had in my entire life. You did it, Arby. And the Bent Buckle Award for the most I've ever eaten at a Doughboys restaurant.

Wow. Yeah. For sure. And then, yeah, because on the way out, right before I left, I told you I got some curly fries too because I was like, I need to try some curly fries. And did you finish those in the dining room? Did you get those to go? I don't know.

I probably fucking did both. Like, I ate them in my car. I'm disgusting. So now that I went to Arby's, we had to drive down a little bit because there isn't, there used to be one right on the west side and it got bulldozed and replaced with a Wendy's, which is, to me, kind of a lateral move. I mean, Wendy's is better. Oh, shut up.

No, wait, hold on, hold on. I, I will like Wendy's more, I like Wendy's more than Arby's, but it is, it was nice to have that Arby's right there. So I kind of missed the proximity of the Arby's. It was like minutes for an apartment. Now we had to drive all the way down. I think we were, I think we were in Inglewood, we were close to the airport. But it was a good Arby's.

I got the Smokehouse brisket sandwich. I know you referenced the brisket earlier, Vanessa, which is a new thing they're trying from their website. We topped that with smoked gouda, crispy onions, mayo, and barbecue sauce and serve it all in an artisan style roll. Pretty good. You know, it's a little bit more expensive than that roast beef and, you know, my go-to, we mentioned it already, is generally the beef and cheddar.

And I feel like I would be more inclined to get a beef and cheddar in general. But, you know, I kind of, I liked it. It was a nice change of pace. The crispy onions were good. The brisket was maybe a little bit of dry. It does make me, doesn't lead me to wonder what you were saying earlier, Vanessa, like, why are they, it feels like it's just like they just want a new thing to market. So that's why they're saying, hey, we have Smokehouse brisket now.

But it wasn't exactly a standout. Very solid though. I also got the, I think I might have gotten the identical sliders to you, the jalapeno roast beef slider and the chicken and cheese slider. I thought they were both good. Yeah, I like that. Is it a fried chicken one? Yeah, I like that Christmas of that chicken, curly fries as usual, and a beef and cheddar.

Love that beef and cheddar. That's kind of my go-to. Got in order the onion rings, which are pretty good. Have you guys had the Arby's onion rings? I'm open to them, but no, I have not had the Arby's onion rings. I would say give them a shot. They're a pretty good execution of onion rings. Interesting.

I've never had them either. Yeah. I mean, like, you know, that's the thing is like, I feel like this is one of those places where you kind of fall into what you like and then you just kind of get it consistently. Although these potato cakes are an interesting development because I usually don't get that. So I'm going to give that a shot next time. But I was surprised by the onion rings and I thought they were pretty, they just had like a good Christmas to them.

I thought they were a good execution and I think they'd go, you know what? I'd put those onion rings on my Mount Ringmore. You know what? I think with Mount Ringmore, I think it just has to be the Lord of the, I think it should be hashtag Lord of the Rings because I think there's not four good, I want to hear what people's favorite is. What's the one best? Yeah.

What's the one best onion ring? Gotcha. I'm mad at myself for not knowing they had onion rings. Like, I am and I'm not because I would, like, I'm really bad on keeping up with Arby's news because I had to unfollow them on Twitter because I love them for so long and then they didn't like, they kind of didn't return that love. Yeah. So I kind of turned on them for a little bit.

Like I may or may not have like loosely trolled Arby. You got angry at the restaurant itself? Well, well, not like the restaurant, but like I may or may not have loosely trolled the account when it's like they wouldn't follow me back and I had like tweeted at them. And then so I started just being kind of a dick, like they tweeted, it's like, do you have any questions for Arby's head chef? And I responded, what was it like hosting the Jamie Kennedy experiment? Arby's did not like that.

I'm sure Jamie Kennedy didn't like that either. I don't know if he knew about that. And then during the test shows of like at midnight, there was like some story that came out about like, man, you know, burned his penis at a urinal is like at Arby's is suing Arby's. And like the challenge was like, you know, Arby's hasn't replied. So on behalf of Arby's reply, you know, give a statement and it was like, if you can't take the heat, get the hell out of the kitchen where we keep the urinal. I really turned on them in a big way.

You know, how do you burn his penis when on earth? I have no idea. It's Arby's anything can happen. Mitch playing that off like that wasn't you. Arby's I'm just I brought up their Twitter account as you were talking. They are following ninety two point six thousand people. So approaching Melissa Joan Hart levels of number of people they're following just like like I don't know.

Why would they not follow you? That seems like a personal they made me turn on them because before it's like Kate Middleton of Arby's like, yeah, really like campaign for Arby's and was like, yeah, I love Arby's. I don't care. And then, um, yeah, they just didn't return it and I was like, OK, well, I'm doing all this PR and yeah, and you're retweeting somebody who made like did hearts like smiley faces with hearts against the words Jamoka Elman shake. So that's what you want to do Arby's Arby's if anything comes from this stupid podcast

follower on Twitter for God's sake, follow at that Ramos girl on Twitter. Come on Arby's just fucking get your shit together. Like that. Just just do it's long overdue. I once did something at Arby's and then I felt like I once tweeted at Arby's like they were like, what's your favorite menu item? And I just tweeted at them. I love cup for water, which was OK.

And I was like, I was like, ah, that's kind of fun. And then I just felt like Nali was like, why did you do that? You like Arby's. I was like, yeah, why did I do like I'll tell you why. Because you two are both sick bullies. I know. I've never bullied poor Arby's. I know.

I felt bad. I actually felt a lot of guilt. And I can I like deleted it later and I was just like, man, I shouldn't I just I don't know why I felt so much regret over that particular thing. Because I do actually enjoy their food. And I guess there is something to fun in the Weigar household. I shouldn't have tweeted that, Nali. You know, I mentioned this in the intro, but I think it is kind of Arby's has kind of become

a thing that's a that's a punching bag. And I've got this little Mitch had his compilation that someone cut together for him earlier. I got a little compilation of my own. Yeah, but mine adds to the show. Yeah, this will detract from it a big way. This is a this is a little quick compilation of various jabs at Arby's from different TV shows throughout the years. I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's.

Oh my God. You're so hungry, really, huh? So where do you want to eat? Feels like an Arby's night. My new salesman boyfriend took me out to celebrate his promotion. Where'd you go? To a restaurant. Arby's.

I had the roast beef. Arby's. Isn't there anywhere else we can eat? Arby's. Arby's. Arby's with sliced something. Technically, it's food. So we had kind of a quick like montage there.

Was it Sherry or Terry from The Simpsons? One of the two of them. Yeah. One of the twins from The Simpsons from the episode. Is that the episode where they're on there? They're stranded on the island? That's what I thought it was. That's what I thought it was.

And then we also had David Putty from Seinfeld. A little John Stewart from The Daily Show is a more contemporary thing. I don't know. It's kind of become, you know, everyone makes fun of it. And I feel like there's to some degree justifiable because it's so weird. It's like such a weird fast food place. It's very strange. That roast beef is one of the biggest fast food chains in America.

It's like a hot roast beef sandwich. That's very weird. But I think the food is overall pretty good. Like, I enjoy my meals. I eat at Arby's. I don't know. I don't know how you guys feel. Once again, on this stupid podcast, we found out that most chain restaurants are pretty good.

Like, I like it, which is why, like, I've never really ripped on the food. Yeah. The original thing was more of, like, the, you know, people at Arby's. Or I'm convinced, aside from that person who blessed me with all of that Arby's sauce, like, every other interaction I've had with an Arby's employee, like, they've just hated me for existing. It's a gross, it's a gross in the way that it's kind of a weird gross food and they have so much gross stuff. But I'm happy it exists.

I like it. And now that it's been bullied so much, I kind of, I like that it's a little underdog. And I'm happy it exists. And it's brought you a lot of happiness. Yeah. And I'm sure it's brought a lot of people a lot of happiness. I don't have a ton of experience with it, but I don't hate Arby's. I just would rather go to Wendy's or something.

Yeah, I got you. Like, if I'm craving a roast beef sandwich, either I have to go to some weird restaurant and sit down or it's there. You know what I mean? And I think this is one of the things about Arby's, it's very much kind of its own thing. Like, I feel like you can't really get that Arby's sandwich anywhere else. It's just kind of like this weird hot roast beef sandwich on a bun that's kind of its own, like you get a roast beef sandwich at a deli, it's completely different from what

that is, you know? Yeah. I will say that, like, going to Burger King seems healthier than going, like, seems like a health option compared to Arby's. For some reason, maybe it's because I ate so much food when I was there, but it feels so unhealthy. I mean, I guess all chains and fast food are, but for whatever reason, like, I'm like, ooh, I can't eat Arby's.

That's too much. You know, like, I feel like I'm going to feel sick after I eat it, like, guaranteed. Where if I get a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's, man, I'm craving Wendy's, obviously. But like, if I get a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's, I don't know if I'm going to get sick. I might be fine, you know what I mean? Yeah. All right.

Well, at this point, I think we've discussed Arby's in some depth, so here's what we'll do. Vanessa will go around, we'll each give our kind of closing arguments, if you will, our sort of summation of our thoughts on this franchise. And then at the end of it, give your rating on a scale of one to five forks. So Vanessa, we'll start with you. Oh, wow. Yeah.

I'm going to be the Duchess of Arby's. I feel like I, I don't know, I just like, it's like a weird boyfriend that's like kind of been like, hasn't treated me the best. I've gotten food poisoning from once, like he gave me something. But yeah, I keep going back, because there's something about it that's familiar and comforting. And yeah, nobody else does the Arby's sauce. Like, that's the only place you can get that, and I like that sauce. And again, the anytime hash brown aspect of potato cakes.

So yeah, my only complaint is they won't follow me back on, well, I guess only complaints. Follow me back on Twitter. And yeah, just, I want the employees at Sunset to not like look like they want to spit in my car. Just for me, like, I don't even do, I'm always like super polite to them, like, thank you so much. And they kind of like look at me like, mm-hmm, yeah, you get to leave this place. So yeah, I guess I'd give three stars just because the other two, the negative reasons.

But as far as for roast beef, like that's where I'm going. Wow, three forks from Vanessa Ramos. Let's go to Mike Mitchell. Well, you know, you're talking about the weird boyfriend. I am the weird boyfriend. So and that reason I relate to Arby's in a lot of ways. I like it. It's a weird place.

It can be, I can think of it as gross, but then every time I go there, I'm like, the food is decent. It's pretty good quality. And those mozzarella sticks were some of the best, you know, fast food mozzarella sticks I've had. I was really surprised by it. But you know, like it is strange. And I love roast beef sandwiches.

And if that's what you, if that's what you, you're craving, I guess that's the place to go to. It's just, it's just a really bizarre, it's, it's one of, it's one of, you're right. I think it's just one of the weirdest fast food restaurants that there is. It's way, way up there. Like Long John Silver's is up there too. But like Arby's is even stranger to me for whatever reason. But I root for the underdog.

I think a lot, it makes a lot of people happy. Like I said, I have quite a few friends and loved ones who, who like Arby's. I'm going to go three and a half forks, three and a half forks from the Spoonman. Here's what I think about Arby's. This is a very unique place and we've touched on that a little bit. It's kind of become a punching bag. I feel like it kind of has this association with, for whatever reason, people associate Arby's with sadness.

Like this is like a sad place or this is a place where you go when you're kind of, when you're, either you're depressed, you're depressed or you know, kind of like it's, it's depressing itself. I don't know. When I'm not depressed, I head to McDonald's. I feel like it, you know, it has this association. I feel like with just like a, like I feel like a single dad goes to Arby's. Like that's kind of their customer base, but I enjoy my meals there.

I've generally had, I've generally had pretty good service, you know, I'm, I'm going to, to different locations. I don't freak with the sunset Arby's as much, but I've generally had good service at, you know, my hometown one in Lakewood, California, the one that used to exist in Santa Monica Rest in Peace, the one I went to recently. The food I like, we had a chocolate turnover as well, which I didn't mention, which is, was satisfactory as a fast food dessert, horsey sauce. I really like cheese sauce is great.

I just feel like it offers something so specific that you can't get anywhere else. And it's a thing that sometimes I find very satisfying. Like I feel like just once in a while, I'm going to crave Arby's and I'm going to need Arby's. And unless I get specifically Arby's, unless I get a beef and cheddar sandwich, some, some curly fries with a little bit of cheese sauce for dipping, that it's just isn't going to get scratched. And for that reason, I'm coming a little, a little high here.

Four forks for Arby's, I think, I think it's just like, I think it's, it's just, it's just right at that four fork threshold for me. We did the ratings ladder, huh? Yeah, we sort of, we sort of, we didn't know what the average, like, I don't know what the standard is for these sort of things. So I was kind of playing it safe with like, Oh, we love every restaurant. No, I would say three forks is a very fair rating.

Three forks is like right in the, you're in the bread basket of like, that's like a solid place. A three fork place is a place you'll go to again, a four fork place is a place you like and a five fork place is a place you love. But generally we score on the high side because Mitch and I are Glutton's and we enjoy any sort of a caloric delivery system. Well, there we go. Four forks, four for you.

Good for you. Good for me. Those are our thoughts on Arby's. It's time for a regular segment. We're going to settle some longstanding debates in the world of food. Food court is now in session. This thing. Judge Weiger presiding.

So here's how this works. Mitch, Vanessa, I'm going to give you a series of food-based topics with two different positions. You have to argue your own stances and then I'll issue a ruling. You don't have to argue against each other. It's okay if you agree. Ultimately though, I will make the decision. Judge Weiger is a lot like Judge Wopner. Doesn't it sound, it's close.

Yeah, it is pretty close. You knew Judge Wopner, right? I knew Judge Wopner. What the fuck are you talking about? You knew of Judge Wopner. Yeah, I knew of him. You're so disgusted right now. Did you know of Judge Wopner?

You asked it like he was, like I knew him like he was a personal friend or worst friend. No, I don't think you know him as a personal friend. All right. I'm going to talk with you. Do you know of Judge Wopner? Yeah, I know who he is. He was like the People's Court guy in the 80s. Yeah.

You know what? I was going to share how my grandma loved him. I think she had a crush on him. But you know what? Now that's all fucking blown because you were so mad that you thought that I thought you may have known Judge Wopner. I was just so confused. I don't know why you'd make that assumption.

He's answering a question with the question, what the fuck is wrong with me? It was always fun. I had actually, my dad, the People's Court reached out, it was the People's Court that he did, right? So did you fucking know Judge Wopner? No, I didn't. Yes, after all that, I personally knew Judge Wopner. Did your dad reach out to the People's Court because he had a court case against him?

No. The People's Court reached out to my dad because they were looking for it. My dad had filed a small claims court lawsuit against a mother in our Cub Scout troop because we had a nut sale analogous to the Girl Scout cookie sale. We had a Cub Scout nut sale. We were selling like mixed nuts. And your dad pulled out his testicles? God damn it.

No. What happened was this den mother, the den mother had pocketed all the money from the nut sale instead of giving it back to the pack. So she'd committed some minor larceny, a little bit of embezzlement. And so my brother, my dad rather, tried to sue her and the People's Court just saw the case in the docket and was like, hey, would you want to come on the People's Court? But my dad's little camera shy, he said no. And he settled it off camera.

So the lady actually had to pay back? Yeah, she actually had to pay back. If she had lost, I think she'd, like, don't they pay for whatever you have to pay? I don't know how that works. Yeah. All right, well good to know. Yeah. Sorry for making that joke about your dad.

That's all right, well, dad, you're very touchy. It's a little weird to talk about my dad exposing himself in front of Cub Scouts, who are generally age range of 6 to 11. All right. Food court is what we're doing. So I'm going to give you guys some food-based topics. You give me your position, I'll issue a ruling. First up, soup or salad?

Mitch. All right. This is going to surprise you, but I like salad. If I'm going to have something before me, I like a nice crisp salad. It makes you feel like it helps with the digestion of your meal. If you get a nice little dressing on there, like a house Italian, I love it. You got some bread. It really just feels like a full course to me.

Soup, I think soup is something different. I don't think it's supposed to be served before a meal. I think that soup is kind of its own side thing. You eat soup when you're sick, or you eat soup for a meal and you dip a grilled cheese into it. I don't think it's like what the salad does for a meal, which is a nice starter. Nice and light and it gets you going. It's not a main course.

It's not too thick. It's just right. Hmm. Compelling argument. Vanessa, your thoughts on soup-fee salad? I got to go soup. I think salads, generally, maybe just because I spent the past however many months in an office having salads for lunch every day, so I wouldn't fall asleep an hour later.

But yeah. I don't know. I think it's more like soup kind of gets you excited about the meal. There's more flavor. It's not just like, oh, which one of the 10 dressings at best this establishment has? Am I going to get on these things that I've already tasted? But soup, it kind of gives, and it's also like, it's kind of a thing of like, oh, what's the soup of the day?

You get to ask and there's that level of like, oh, it could be anything. And I also feel like there's different, you can do like, they're light soups. They're heavier soups. Salads, it's kind of like, all right, you want to have chicken do it to make it a little more filling. But at the end of the day, it's still like, yeah, parts of it are going to taste like ice. Can I have a little rebuttal?

Sure. I mean, that's not part of the segment. But go ahead. I just want to say that here's my problem with soup. It can be a main course clasher. So you got a chicken noodle soup. What if you're, what if you're having pasta or something like that? You're having the pasta spaghetti and meatballs.

So you got marinara sauce, a meatball and some pasta. Then what if you have chicken noodle soup? Is that your, you know what I mean? I mean, I'm not eating a soup and then ordering nine menu items at Army's, so maybe that's what this is really about. I'm saying this is, it can clash hard with that. You know, if you're going to have a tomato soup and then you're going to have some marinara sauce, get out of here.

That's two at the same time. It's up to you as an adult to order responsibly. I'm saying the salad doesn't clash as much because if you're having a salad as the opener, then you're not having a salad as your main meal. Here's my ruling. I think you both presented compelling arguments. Let me guess. Here's the thing.

I will get salad a lot more often because I feel like I need some roughage, some vegetables to as a, as a prefix to whatever I'm going to indulge in with my entree. However, the variety presented in soups, which Vanessa argued, I think is a very, very compelling argument in their favor. And for that reason, there are so many different types of soup. I have more fun when I get a soup as opposed to a salad. A salad is like, I should have this. A soup is like, hmm, this is yummy.

Soup wins. Next topic. That's fucked up. Bagel or English muffin? Vanessa, we'll start with you. Bagel. Um, I don't, maybe because I haven't had a ton of English muffins and I just kind of like, I don't know, I walk in a kitchen and I see a bagel and an English muffin.

It's like, oh, there's, even though like, you can kind of do the same things, but there's something about just a bagel and cream cheese that feels very like safe and familiar. And the other one feels like, oh, then I got to have like tea or something with it. But that's just, I don't know. I don't have any strong opinions on either of them. They're both bread and make me tired. But forced to choose, you go with bagel. Yeah.

Mitch, go ahead. Well, this is tough for me because I'm from Quincy, Massachusetts. Oh, this is the first time hearing this. The birthplace of Dunkin' Donuts, and I used to really enjoy their bagels when I was younger, and I love a good bagel. But you know, for the podcast's sake, I'm going to go English muffin. I'm from New England. They've got some nooks and crannies.

You can get your butter lost in and it's a nice light meal, you know? A bagel is kind of a, it's a much bigger thing. It's going to feel heavier in your stomach during the day. An English muffin, I put a little butter on that, melted on the English muffin, a toasted English muffin. That's a nice little snack. It's just enough. It's easy to travel with.

I'm not going to get cream cheese all over my hands. It's perfect. And I think it's also, you can get more versatile with your toppings, because I feel like with a bagel, if you've got an onion bagel, I don't want to put peanut butter on top of that. English muffin, I know what that is. It's an English muffin. Sure, put peanut butter on top of it. But again, you have bagel varieties.

Yeah, that's true. Use that point again. Yeah, you do have bagel varieties, but it's nice, plain, classic. Sometimes classic is the way to go, Nick. Here's my issue. Oh, God. Every time I have a bagel, I enjoy it, and it used to be my regular breakfast, but it is very, very heavy, and it just sits with you for so long.

And I do prefer cream cheese to butter, and a bagel is a better cream cheese delivery system than an English muffin. However, I feel like English muffin is a little bit just less mass. It's a little bit lighter, and English muffin is better for a breakfast sandwich than a bagel. I'd rather have it on the muffin than that bagel. For that reason, English muffin wins. Next up.

I'm not mad at that. Yeah, I'm not mad at that ruling. This is all on the whim of a madman. The breakfast sandwiches are better. I don't even know if that's true. You think you'd rather have a bagel breakfast sandwich than the English muffin sandwich? I mean, bagel breakfast sandwiches aren't bad either. They're not bad, but it's too much bread.

Yeah, just talking about how heavy it was. It's overwhelming. And then you add stuff to that. Yeah, I see it. Look. I can agree with that. Guys, this is how the segment works. You guys give your arguments.

I issue my ruling. That's just how it is. I like bagels for breakfast sandwiches. Go on. Next up. Fah or ramen? Spoon Man will start with you. Oh, shit.

Are you serious, man? Okay. I love both of them, all right? But here's the deal. Of course, fah is nice and fresh, and it's going to be a lighter meal, but you know, if you want that big noodle dish, you want a fucking delicious, big ramen. And I ain't talking about that stupid shit a lot of college kids eat, like the... The powdered shrimp.

Yeah, the powdered shrimp ramen. I never even ate that. I'm talking about daikokuya and some of the places out here that are... You get the nice slice of pork and the egg, and man, it's just in this delicious broth, and that is a comfort food right there. And you can... If you get a side of fried rice, you can dip your rice in there. It's really, really, really...

I like both meals, but if I'm going to be like, what do you really, really love, I love that ramen. You can't beat it, man. It's so fatty and delicious and good. Vanessa, your thoughts? Again, I also love them both, and I think a lot of times it depends on my mood or how much... And I usually...

I find I rarely do it as a lunch to me, like it seems like a dinner, because either way, there's a certain amount of weight, and also maybe I need to build up energy to work the splash zone that is either of the bowls those are in. But I think... I don't know. There's something about fah that you can put... Because they usually bring you the bowl of the fresh ingredients, and you can throw in whatever leaves you want, sprouts you want, and things you don't want to customize that

more. I mean, I know you can do that with ramen, but as is, you order something, and it usually comes with the base is already three things, like mushrooms and whatever else. But yeah, I think for me personally, I more like the weight of fah. I think you still get that comfort from it being like a soup and the noodles, but yeah, I just personally don't like anything super heavy unless I'm like, it's like, oh, I'm a hungover, and this might be the only meal that I'll ever eat again because I may take my life from how I feel.

This is a spirited discussion. I agree with you both that there are no losers here. These are both outstanding soups. Ramen won't make you want to kill yourself. Ramen is great. If your concept of ramen is top ramen or cup of noodles, you need to broaden your ramen horizons and go to a real ramen restaurant because ramen made right is outstanding. It is a delicacy.

However, fah is just, I prefer the broth. I prefer the meat, the kinds of meat you can get in there, that rare beef or those Vietnamese meatballs, the pho bov in, the noodles I really like, all of the fresh stuff you can throw in there, that little bit of lime. It's great. I could eat a lot more fah than I could ramen. For that reason, I give a slight edge to fah in this battle. Next up, dogs at restaurants.

Cute or unhygienic? Go ahead, Vanessa. Cute as fah, Nick. I wish there were more places I could go and see dogs. As long as the dog isn't running around on the counter where they're preparing it, most dogs I see are tied up. I see very few loose dogs just running around, but they're either ... I also haven't seen that many sitting on chairs, but just on the ground, next to the table, and there's usually

someone watching them. I think it's cool. I think the dog's having a day. I think there's lots of interesting sense for it to pick up, and I think it's adorable to look at. It's like, oh, I'm eating something I enjoy, oh, and look at you. No dogs in restaurants. Mitch, go ahead.

I'll tell you something else that's really cute. Babies. When I go to a restaurant, I don't want to go, hey, I hope there's a lot of babies in this restaurant because that's fucking awful. The fact that dogs can bark and be fucking loud and try to come and take my food, I mean, come on. They got like ... You can see dogs' balls. You can see a dog's balls when it walks around.

It shits. You can look for a dog's balls. I don't ... Go on. A lot of ball talk from you today, Mitch, you're talking about ... You got a fixation with dogs' balls. You're talking about ... You have this vivid fantasy of my dad exposing his testicles for some reason.

I just figured that one was true. You can see a dog's balls and their butt holes, and I mean, come on. I like dogs. I don't want them in a restaurant. Their hair could get places. They could bark and be loud and start chasing after each other. I don't want to step in dog shit on my way into a restaurant. Bark dogs in restaurants unless I'm eating them.

Jesus Christ. They're like below table level. Most of them are laying down, and most dog owners are responsible enough to know if their dog is going to freak out not to bring them in. I haven't seen a dog ... At most, I see a dog stand up and look at another dog. I haven't seen a dog bark at another dog. I haven't seen ... For sure because dog owners are so good with knowing when their dogs are annoying people.

That's bullshit. Barking is the thing that's ... Honestly, I've been in restaurants with dogs or just even the mall and stuff like that, and I haven't seen dogs bark at other dogs. Yeah, maybe other stuff. Maybe they jump on the chair and try to get close to the food, but yeah, there hasn't been any dog conflict, dog-on-dog conflict. Listen, I like dogs. Spoon Man is a regular Dr. Doolittle.

I like all animals, but there's things you don't do with your fucking dog. You don't shower with your dog. The dog can stay at home for your restaurant meal, for God's sake. Mitch, you have a heart of coal. Oh my God. No, I see where you're coming from, and I don't ... Yeah, I just love dogs and looking at them, but I understand the concern about hygiene and whatnot, but I think there is a way to have dogs there without it being ... Like I said, it's like ... I think there's

certain places where it's like, oh yeah, the dog can't come to the counter, but if you want to sit outside or if you want to sit closer to the door, I think there's a compromise to be had. I agree. Most of what we're talking about, if we're talking about dogs in restaurants or dogs in outdoor seating areas, you see a pooped pooch lying underneath the table catching some shade. That's adorable.

Yes. You see a dog begging for some table scraps and not getting in the way. That's great. They're just a nice little diversion. Dogs are cute. I'm all for dog-friendly culture. Let them in. Maybe don't let them indoors, but let them have the outdoor area.

Dogs are cute. Yes. Of course, the former tickle-borne star wants ... This wasn't a star. ... wants a bunch of dogs in his restaurant. All right, let's get this ... So, you can giggle and laugh with these little puppies that are running around. The tickle-borne thing was just a thing I was considering, and the adult baby thing is

just the thing you made out, so I just want to clarify that. But the bad thing is real. All right. All right. Final case on the docket. Holy shit. There's more. Oh my gosh.

Dairy queen blizzards. Shakes? Oh, I can't. Or not shakes. I can't. Not milkshakes. They're fucking ice cream. Case closed.

You know what? Okay. I will ... I hate to turn on this, but like ... Yes. Vanessa, this is the start of a nice relationship between you and I. No. The fact that they hand you a spoon as opposed to a straw when you get a blizzard, I will say that it's not a milkshake.

I think if they blended it a bit more, it could lean the other direction, but just at first glance, yeah. Here's the thing. Nothing crushes me more than to concede a point to the spoon man, Mike Mitchell, my most hated foe. However, you are right. It has to be consumed with a spoon. A dairy queen blizzard is a dairy queen blizzard.

It is not a classic milkshake. Wow. So, you guys are right on that one. Oh, shit. And with that, I'll sheepishly end this edition. Oh, my God. You're gonna kill yourself? I'm okay.

I'm right. This edition of Food Court. Vanessa, you're starting to turn things around. When you came in here, I was like, I don't like ... Your friend choices aren't great, but everything else about you is great, so you're on the right path. All right. Just like a restaurant, we value your feedback. Let's open up the feedback.

This week's email comes to us from Jed Greenwald. Jesus, calm down. It's like ... It's one nightly dinner. One nightly commitment a week. Well, you got to hightail it out of here so you can fucking gorge at another restaurant and then sleep for 14 hours. It's for the show. Fuck you.

All right. Here we go. How do you ... How do you host Spoon Man and Burger Boy, listening to the Del Taco episode with Alan Yang, there's a passing comment made about the lack of pasta to go fast food restaurants. I am firmly planted in the pasta greater than pizza camp with Alan and have long thought of this QSR Italian food dilemma. My idea, pasta dishes served in bread bowls.

Is this the perfect solution or carb overload? Best? Jed? Jedi Spaghetti? Greenwald. What do you guys think? Do we like this pasta and bread bowls solution? Do we like the idea of a pasta to go fast food restaurant?

Pasta and bread bowl, too rich for my blood. Yeah, it seems a little much. Yes. I like the idea of a pasta to go restaurant, but yeah, that bread bowl, I feel like I would get less than halfway through it and then just be asleep. Domino's tried it and it was just too much. It was like ... Because already the clam chowder in a bread bowl, that's just like you eat that ... I don't feel like you can ever finish that entire bread bowl.

It's just excessive. Yeah, when you've also got another starch inside of that bread bowl, it's just ... Man, and also, I would say this Jedi Spaghetti, you're not solving the core issue with a pasta to go restaurant, which is that you can't eat it with your hands. That bread bowl doesn't make it any easier. You still need a fork for that. I feel like we need to come up with some sort of utensil-free pasta solution. I don't know what that is, but maybe NASA's working on it.

I don't know. What do you think, Spoon Man? Jedi Spaghetti, I like your commitment to the pasta lifestyle. I like that you have a nickname that is pasta related, but I don't know if this is going to do it. I think you're right. Domino's tried it. It's a lot of ... Vanessa said it's a little too rich.

It's a carb overload. I just don't think it makes it any easier like Nick said. Even Domino's is like ... When you're getting Domino's, it's almost like, well, you can just order from an Italian restaurant at that point. We're talking about simple, easy solutions, almost like a Chipotle for pasta and that ... Oh, you just hit on something, a Chipotle for pasta. That I think would be something. Yeah.

I think if you had like a pasta bar and you're going through it and they're making a bowl and it's for onsite consumption, just like Chipotle is mostly for onsite consumption, although we need to take it to go, but then you'd have a nice little bowl, yet a Chipotle style bowl container that it was in, like a burrito bowl, that would be ... You choose your pasta, you choose your sauce, you choose your meat, that'd be a heck of a place. Jedi, if you got some money, I think we have an idea, baby. What do you think, Vanessa? Do you think this idea has legs?

I think it's brilliant. There we go. Guys, we accomplished something. We rarely accomplished anything on this podcast except wasting our listeners' time. I think this is quite a concept. Jedi ... Well, we shouldn't air this part of it and also now someone has to kill Jedi Spagetti. Yeah, we got to cut this guy out of it.

If you're out there and you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at doboyspodcast at gmail.com, follow us on Twitter at doboyspod. Check out our Facebook page, Just Do Boys. Vanessa Ramos, thank you so much for joining us, sharing your passion for Arby's. Is there anything you would like to plug? Yeah, well, I think you just mentioned earlier, Superstore, which is a show on NBC that I wrote for that I'm really proud of, airs January 4th and Bordertown on Fox, which I also ... It's a Seth MacFarlane animated show, which is a lot of fun, airs January 3rd.

One's a Sunday, one's a Monday. I don't know dates well, but yeah, I hope you'll watch them. Awesome. I'm going to throw those out. That'll pretty much do it for this episode of Do Boys. Until next time, for Mike Mitchell, the Spoon Man, I'm Nick Weigar. Happy eating. See ya.

Serial audio. Serial audio.