Doughboys - Baskin-Robbins 2 with Emmy Blotnick

Episode Date: April 23, 2026

Emmy Blotnick (@emmyblotnick, What's Her Secret) joins the 'boys to talk side dishes vs main dishes, NY pizza spots, and Dubai chocolate before a review of the Baskin-Robbins Dubai Chocolate Menu. Plus, another edition of Chips Inhale.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.britannica.com/place/Dubai-emirate-United-Arab-Emirateshttps://everything-everywhere.com/the-history-of-dubai/https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?q=%2Fg%2F11wh5k127b&date=today%205-y&geo=UShttps://digitalcommons.usf.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1302&context=jsshttps://www.walkfree.org/global-slavery-index/country-studies/united-arab-emirates/https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20250502-how-dubai-chocolate-conquered-the-worldhttps://news.baskinrobbins.com/news/here-by-popular-demand-baskin-robbinsR-debuts-the-dubai-chocolate-collectionEXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/doughboys Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guaranteeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. Hey, buddy, you know the doughboys tour all over the country these days. We're on the road again, We're on the road again, but you know where else we like to tour? Our home state. California, baby, where I've lived my entire life.

And we're going to be both in SoCal and NorCal at the end of April. That's right, Wex. April 29th, we're going to be in Irvine, California. Come out and see us, Swig. Wow. Yeah, and then also April 30th, the next night, we're flying on up to San Jose. I hope you know the way to San Jose. I'm going to have to learn it because we're going to be doing a show there, April 30th.

April 29th and Irvine, one of our guests will be John Gabris. So join him and hey, we're going to get someone else. And we're going to get somebody else, too. So that'll be a lot of fun and we'll have a great guest for San Jose as well. And don't worry. You want to miss those shows. Chankton will be at the San Jose show. Wow, thank God.

I'm so relieved. Chankton's going to be there. Very excited to see Chankton. I hope it's a night that Chankton remembers. April 29th, Irvine, April 30th, San Jose. Tickets at birdfuck.com. It will be a night everyone remembers. Birdfuck.coms.

Birdfuck.com slash live. Mitch, people know you love your mom. I hope they also know I love my mom. We're both mama's boys. It's true. I love our momies. I love my mom. Orifram is the perfect Mother's Day gift.

to capture the chaos you put her through and the memories that came with it. Wags, you know, I may seem like a relaxed guy, but back in the day, I was quite the handful. Wow. You see me now, you say, that guy looks relaxed. He looks cool as a cucumber.

Back in the day, I was wound up, I was driving my mom nuts. But you know what? I owe her the world. I love her. I've had so many great memories with her. And you know what's the best way to share those memories? With an aura frame.

I certainly remember being a handful on family vacations, but also capturing some wonderful photos on those. You know, like maybe I'm throwing a tantrum, but we're at the Grand Canyon, and when I'm looking at that picture, what I'm remembering is just a lovely time with my family, and what I'm not in remembering is my mom having to deal with my nonsense.

Pikachu isn't real. ORA frames is the perfect gift this spring. Every frame comes packaged in a premium gift box with no price tag. Plus, you can preload your aura frame with a personalized message and photos before it ships so it arrives ready to go. Then you can keep adding photos from anywhere, anytime. Parents do love. Moms and dads, all kinds of parents, do love the aura frames.

They certainly do wise. My mom loves it. I gave my sister one. She loves it. You know what? Now the new laid back me and they love me and they love seeing me. Yeah. You know, you should get a little bit more laid back yourself.

I don't know. I don't think I could pull it off. I think you could. Name number one by Wirecutter. you can save on the gifts mom's love by visiting aura frames.com. For a limited time, listeners can get $25 off their best-selling Carver Matt Frame with code Doe Boys. That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com promo code Doe Boys. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout.

Terms and conditions apply. Whoa! Of the seven states that comprise the United Arab Emirates, only two were widely recognized. Abu Dhabi, best known in the U.S., is the preferred destination for Garfield to mail his cutie-pie nemesis Nirmal, and the wasteful and aesthetically repulsive cyberpunk night city simulacrum of Dubai. Like many Middle East nations, Dubai was largely invisible and powerless prior to the discovery of oil deposits in 1966.

But since then, the tiny city state has become widely known and traveled to, the seventh most popular destination in the world by one metric, as it parlayed its vast fossil fuel wealth into an attempt to build a dense, towering Tokyo 3 that's both a financial and tourism hub in the waterless desert. But its economic and cultural prominence, including a truly staggering Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol stunt sequence staged atop the then-largest structure in the world, the Burj Khalifa, involves a horrific open secret, the widespread use of slave labor. This morally indefensible but wildly profitable reality has proven a marketing liability for the wasteful late capitalist poster child,

usually inflicted on migrant laborers via confiscated passports and withheld wages. The legal or tacitly legal forced labor practice provides the necessary workforce for dangerous construction, driving, and sex work jobs. And while Dubai's money-to-asshole clientele could not give less of a shit, the world at large has judged it harshly. Enter Dubai Chocolate, a concept completely invisible prior to 2024. It's in fact not an invention of Dubai Emirates, but of Filipino and Egyptian-British collaborators working in the Emirate. After its introduction, aggressive astroturfed marketing made the pistachio chocolate mashup a much demanded delicacy, both at artisan chocolate tiers and impulse buyers at the Trader Joe's checkout.

Now, as the regional chocolate varietals relevance wanes, it's found its way onto the seasonal menu of a stayed, 80-year-old, distinctly American ice cream parlor. Was it enough to keep the frozen sweet treat brand and Dubai itself relevant? This week on Doe Boys, we return to Baskin-Robbins for the Dubai chocolate menu. Welcome to Dove Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Mrs. Dote Fire, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell. Hello. Very good.

Mitch's alter ego when he orders his meals for the podcast to give him an excuse to order a meal for his quote-unquote family. Love you guys. I'm desperately trying to get caught up. What do that fogger say? Mrs. Dote Fire is your alter ego when you order meals for the podcast. I got you for my family. For your family. But that is true.

I do order it for the, I guess I do lie and say like, this is for a podcast or whatever. Well, wait, you do? For food for yourself? I mean, I have before, but, why would you do that? No, I've told the person to want it, like, this is for a podcast. If it was a lot for a lot of food, I think I've done that before. Oh, I would never say, I would either say, like, I would, to me, it's more embarrassing to say it's for a podcast.

Oh, it's the most embarrassing thing of all is to say you have a podcast. I agree. I'd say, like, I'm going to eat this by myself in the car and then jack off before I'd say, like, this is for my podcast. Oh, can I watch? Yeah. Love you guys. I'm desperately trying to get caught up from day one of the podcast.

I'm in 2022 now. So hopefully I'll hear my roast in a year or so when I'm caught up. Oh, man. We're just coming out of COVID, I guess. Just coming out of COVID. More Jimel Bowie, please. Our buddy Jamel Bowie. Oh, Jamel.

Brian from Charlottesville, Virginia. Hey, how about there you? Too smart for the show, Jamel. Jamel, you're too smart for the damn show. He's smart for the show. I mean, I'm saying for you, you shouldn't, you shouldn't listen to this shit. Right? He's too, a man who also is so smart and he's such a good talker that he makes me feel so much better in horrible times.

He's a great writer too, brilliant New York Times columnist, but also, yeah, he's thinking of his Instagram. People love his Instagram videos. Yeah, so good. We'll have them back at some point. Yeah, whenever he's free. But don't. You should turn us down. You should turn us down.

You should turn us down. I, since the last time we recorded, I had some eventful things happened. Two of them. I guess I'll go chronologically. So first off, I ended up going to Casa Bonita. You went to Casabonita. In Denver. Join the club, baby.

I went there with Jack Alice and his family. That's right. Yeah. I also saw Jack while he was there. My godson. We got drinks with Jack. Jack's not your godson. Jack's not my godson.

No. Jack's child. I don't even know how much he wants me to talk about his family, so I won't. Yeah, that's fine. I was just going to say I hung out with, I got drinks with Jack after I went to Casa Bonita. But an absolutely lovely time. Just a spectacular experience. I miss you, Jackie boy.

Great, great hang with Jack. I'll go back to Denver and see him soon probably. How fun is Casa Bonita? It rules. Like the food is like... It's so good. We allow you to talk, by the way. Oh, I didn't know if I was getting introduced.

I was going to chime in when you said Jamel's too smart for the show and ask what that says about me being here currently. You're also too smart for the show. Yeah, we will formally introduce you, but you can chime in at any point. Oh, that's good to know. You're too smart for the show. but like just you're just enough smart that we're still like, you can come on

and like it's going to look bad for you but like we're okay with it. Yeah. We're okay, we're okay with this show being a black mark on your career, I guess. We're very happy to have you here, but Casabinita, I don't know if you've been, have you? I've watched the movie about it.

I would love to go. Great documentary. Cliff diving, spectacular. I think my favorite, but they got like a magic show. They got face painting, got my face painted. They got terror reading. He says. I said, you have my permission to do what have you.

And I said, I like tigers and did not get a tiger. I get a skull. Look like a face tattoo. I felt very cool. That is cool. Yeah. That is cool. It was cool.

I agree. It's a flaming skull. Do you see any cliff divers? That's the first thing I said. I saw a bunch of cliff divers. I was its own doubt. I can't concentrate. I have a subscription.

I have a subscription to Adderall. I would love subscription Adderall. I have a prescription. You got to get Adderall Plus. It's worth going ad-free. I have a prescription to Adderall. That's right. And like a...

Someone told me today that it's like a Maha thing that like it's harder to get it. That's what I heard today. I don't know if that's... There are shortages of it. Yeah, yeah. So I haven't had it for like a few days and I feel like brain mushed. Do you think you need to bounce it out with some subtractoral? That would make me work.

When subtractor-all... You said you were getting some brainwush, so maybe you have too much adderol. I need the adderol. It's going into subtractoral. Oh, that's the problem. Yes. That's what you've got a surplus of. So I haven't been...

I've been making mistakes left and right. I guess I need the stuff. Mitch, the other thing that happened since I went from Casa Bonita. I was there in Denver with the running stuff show I'm working on. Great, lovely, lovely wonderful time. Great people. and then I flew directly to San Diego, California, where me and my dad ran a half marathon together.

Wags, I saw that. He sent me a video of it. Not only that, you finished at the same time as your dad. We ran the whole race together. My dad never stopped. It was, it was, and he's a man in his mid-70s. He crossed the finish line before you. Yeah.

Together, it's one Weiger marathon. It's one wiger marathon. That's nice. So, hey, get your ass in shape. your dad's got 30 years on it. He's fucking kicking your ass. He's doing great. We had a lovely run.

We had a great talk. Tell him about your alpha older brother. What happened? Well, so, okay, so we crossed the finish line together. I'm not a, I'm not a super sentimental guy, but, you know, it was a very nice moment crossing the finish line with my dad. And hearing the, because they announce your names based on the numbers when you go through. It was like, like, Nick Weiger and George Weiger, he's years old. We can bleep his age of my dad wants the age bleep.

But it was like, and people get a little, a little cheer. Someone took our picture. It was nice. It was lovely. And then people said to your age and they're like, oh. They're brothers? Pretty slow. I bet you, I bet you you motivated other runners who finished before you because the weird

guy with a fucking skull drone on his face. I never watched it off. So, like, I'm being outrun by Dia de los Mueros right now. So my brother, my alpha older brother, Nate, was, but, was also going to run the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, with a, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, he had an injury the, the, the, the, the, he's not able to run the full race, but he said, I'm just going to run the 5k, because I just don't want to participate in the 5k, so, of course, he, he was, he accidentally won second place in his age group. That's what, you know. I should be host

I should be hosting Doe Boys Nate Weiger and Mike Mitchell It's the most neat thing to To ever happen It's just so on brand for him I want to know what the age group is Not to discount him

Or maybe it's the opposite Is he old or young for his age group? He's older than me But it's still like It's not like a The age group isn't 100 year olds You know it's not like a three people in it Okay

Well congrats to all of you Thank you Emmy I was part of all the Wagger It's an incredibly hard thing to do, to run. You're telling me. Jesus Christ. I was texting back and forth with your mom and dad a bunch. I was.

I was texting. They told me all about the day. It was a lovely family day. It was great. I took the train back from San Diego and Mitch, I have a new meal I love. Train burger. Train burger. I got a burger.

That's the most burger boy shit I've ever heard. I got, I bought a burger at a nearby restaurant night. This is the train station. walked onto the train with my burger and tots and crushed that some bitch sitting in business class You stunk up the tube It did not smell that bad

Because I ate that I were really fast But it was great How fast do you fucking eat it? Pretty fucking fast It was like Sonic eating a chili dog I kind of feel like Train burgers should be like Eight connected burgers

And like one of them One of them you have to be quiet Yeah you can't No one can hear you make a sound when you eat the last burger. That's fucking good as hell. It's like a burger centipede. A burger centipede is a much grosser

version of it. Yeah, I guess so. That's when one burger shits into the next burger. That would be funny if it was one burger here and then in between there was like ketchup and mustard like in between the burgers. The condiments were yeah,

they were delivered between. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fun actually. Yeah. It'd be fun like Wendy's tie in. They should have done that for the movie. Yeah, why didn't Wendy's do centipede? I don't understand.

Human centipede burger. I don't understand why they didn't do it. Train burger. How about that? How about that? Lovely weekend. Yeah, you're happy. You're running.

You went to Casabanaita. Yeah. Did you see the magic show? I did not see the magic show. It was pretty good. I heard the magic show is great. Yeah, he's the puppet show. Yeah, he's not the puppet show.

It's good. Yeah. It's such a great time. Jack, I think Jack said this, but it is like so, it is just like what Disney, like, when you go there, you're like, Disney hasn't done fun stuff like this and like it just feels like what like like where Imagineers went instead of Disney or something. If they opened the equivalent of Casa Bonita at like Disneyland, it would instantly be like, no, but I'm saying like if they did that to that level of quality at Disneyland, it would

instantly be like one of the best things in the park. 100%. You've got to go to this fucking restaurant. It's incredible. But it has all those little touches. It is like, like I find new Disneyland stuff so fucking boring. I can agree. Disney Star Warsland.

whatever. People have heard me say this a million times. It was fucking boring. Yeah, I agree. And you know what was more fun? Let's Epic Go. Let's Epic Go. We did have a good time at Epic Universe in Orlando. I also want to shout out. I believe his name is Scott. I'm sorry if I got your name wrong because we met before the race. Scott Tenerman? Oh. Scott Tenerman from South Park. It was not Scott Tenerman from South Park. I would have known if it was Scott Tenerman. I would have been like, hey, are we trying Southland? Did you eat your parents? Yeah, yeah. I eat my parents.

Kind of not a thing I want to talk about. Hartman got me. His name, I met just as I was at the starting line with my dad and a gentleman came up to me and said he was a fan. And Scott also, I believe, ran one of the races. Your dad told me that as well. Yeah. And also, while a doughboy's listener was in this race, never mind, a doughboy itself. I know, right?

I can't believe one of our, one of our fat fuck listeners. I could be wrong. I could be misremembering this conversation. but I think I asked him if he trained and he said no. That's amazing. That's a dope boys listener. Yeah, I'll say this. Freeball 13 miles from zero.

That's so, I commend Scott, if that is his name. I mean, you, one of my best friends in the world, Adam Wu, you've been with him. You were supposed to run multiple marathons with him. We were supposed to run the Vegas half marathon together, the rock and roll half marathon, which we talked about before. He showed up to Vegas and stayed up all night drinking. gambling and just didn't run the race. That is how you win the rock and roll marathon.

That's true. That is more of a rock and roll marathon than actually just running down the strip. He's also one of those guys who could do that and maybe still do the marathon. I don't know how there's people who operate like that. I don't know how they do it. But I mean, he didn't. He missed. He missed the thing.

But anyways, I can't pay attention. I've been all over the place. I had lunch with John Daly today. And we were talking about Twisted Metal. and I was like, did you meet MJ? He's like, yeah, I was in the show. The show runner for season one and two. I just fucking forgot.

I didn't forget he was in the show. My brain is just mush. I can't remember anything. I went to the wrong restaurant. I sat in the wrong restaurant for 15 minutes. I'm a fucking mess. I need my, I need my drugs. Yeah.

I don't know what to do. They don't have them. Well, we'll figure it out for you. But you know, it can give you a little bit of sense of stability in order is perhaps. You crack the whip. We got to do a fucking doughboys way. Hold on it. Get in here and do the fucking.

That's what you do. You want an episode to not come out next week? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, you call my bluff? Yeah. All right. All right, I'll give the advertisers your email.

Oh, my God. No, this is the thing, Mitch. It's a gilded cage. We're very, very lucky to have it, but we have to keep doing it. That's the thing about podcasting. It's not hard to do an individual podcast. What's hard is like, like, when you're training for a race, you have to do it every day. We have to record multiple times every single week.

You're Nick's dad in this marathon. Half marathon. Edit to half. Yeah, you don't have to condescend to me. I get, I guess. I wasn't condescending to you. I was. No, I was saying, he gets it.

He gets the brunt of it. I was putting in context for people, because I'll love people was like, yeah, I'll start a fucking podcast. I was like, all right, well, you might have to do 300 of them. At one, like, twice a week every week. If you're lucky, you get to do 300 of them. Exactly. Yeah, if you're a spark.

Yeah, you're liking that. If you mix up square and square space, you're going to hear about it. Oh, the better help people are going to get me or the, uh... They're not even sponsoring you. They're just like, hey, do you need us? You're in roast mode. You're taking out a roast mode. Oh, Emma, hit him with a drop.

There we go. Here's a drop. One, three, three, four, five, nine, seven, six, six. Six-sap, six-sap, six-s-sap, six-sap, six-sap, six-sap, six-sap, six-sap, six-sap, six-a-hap. So, anyway, pizza, pizza. Very good. That was great. What's Helix mattress going to come at me?

Who the, what-the-fuck's going to happen? Huh? Do you just go look up our advertisers? No, I was looking up the email. To vote, I was trying to think of Helix, though. And I like Helix. I like all of our advertisers. You sleep on a helix, bitch.

I sleep on a helix. Is it a luxe queen? It's actually a luxe, uh, moonlight lux. Moonlight lux, but it is a queen bed or is a king bed? Fucking king bed, baby. You go king, now California king. If a lady's coming over, she needs plenty of space so that my CPAP wire doesn't get in her face. That hose is quite cumbersome.

Yeah. Uh, it's always, it is always fun when I'm like, I really like you. Anyways, good night. and then go to sleep with a fucking huge mask on my face. I always am like, if I'm meeting, I haven't, I'm not dating anyone, but I'm saying like, if I meet someone, I have to be like, I like wear a CPAP and it's an embarrassing conversation to have. I've always wanted to try one of those.

I'm not inviting myself. But it's, I think people are not judgmental about that. Yeah, I think it's fine. Like, whatever, I have a night guard. You're in town of shit. I have a night guard too. Yeah. Wags is different than yours. He stands to the foot of his bed.

He's a man I only see in shadow. He's dressed like a palace guard. I use that joke quite a bit. Why can't I think of any of it? Tavala. Tavalo, Tavolo, which is good. Which is good. It's an oven?

Can I talk some drama about the Tavala? Can I talk some drama about the Tavala? I shouldn't get into it. No. You're afraid? No. Go ahead. Go for it. No, I'm not going to get it in.

You're not sponsoring this month, so you're good. No, I was going to get to the drama of my Tuvalo is that we got one and we put it in here and then someone from Hengum took it home. Oh, yeah. I think we told them it was okay. I think we told them they could do it. And it's a person I like and they can't take it, but it was funny. It's like, let's put it in the Tovallel.

That's the reason we got it. Oh, I'm the bad guy. I feel like we offered it up. We offered it up. My original pitch was we put it in the oven in the oven in the kitchen here so we had an oven that wasn't a microwave to heat up in it. That's what I'm talking about. But then I was told there was no room on the counter and there was nowhere to put it safely plug it in.

So it just got put on a shelf. So we were like, take it. So Ali Khan, who works here does a great job. Is a lovely person, just a wonderful, genuine human being. And she was so like, I need one of these. She was like, it really, I was like, this really good. Oh, I wasn't here for this. So this happened just when I wasn't here?

Oh, so you didn't, why don't you tell me, you freak? What the fuck? What's wrong with you? How big is this thing? It's like a toaster oven. It's huge. Oh, okay, okay. It's also was yours.

Yeah, I didn't eat it. Yes, but I did need it, Tavala, so keep advertising with us. I love my Tavala oven. You're using all the time in the headgum kitchen. Oh, yeah, yes, we could have. Why don't you tell me things like, now I feel bad. No, you're doing great. No one thinks you're actually mad at Allie.

It's fine. It's fine. You're freaking oven smuggler. I'll cut this out and put a Tavala. out right here and stuff. All right, perfect. Okay, here we go. I, I had it up and then it went away. Here is the email. Wags. Here it comes. Emma Doe Boys. I never changed

over to Erd-Bring. My name Mitch's phone is Emma Do-Boys. I never put in, I like it. I like that as Emma Do-Boys. It's part of the Do-Boys family. I should change yours to Mitch Do-Boys because every time I go to text Mike, it comes up because I think because of the Do-Boys group chat, your name comes up first a lot. I'm going to actually text Mitch

something I met for Mike. I love you in my phone is no oven-haven, Mitch. To be clear, I do have an oven added in an oven. Love the oven. It's great. This place could use it. I'm very happy that Ali has it. And I didn't know.

Why don't you just tell me the story, you're weird? Because I was like, where the fuck do the oven going? I think we forgot. I actually don't remember you asking where I was talking to them. Yeah. Oh. I don't know. Happy, hey, Drop King and the deus.

They kind of wrote Deuce, the deus. They spelled dais like Deas machina Oh Yeah Deus Which I think is how you could spell Deus but it's a different word

It's D-A-I-S in this context Right Our guest rights for roast They would know They do spell D-I-S for roast But this sounds more like Like opera Amadeus

Well they refer to us as the dais Is it Duce X? Is it D-A-I-S What is it? What is it? D-A-I-S. What is it? Dias.

Oh, it's Dias X-Mach. Yeah, I just said it. Oh. I like that. Do you like that movie? Alex Carlin movie? Oh, yeah. I love all, I like all, I like most Alex Garland.

I don't know if there's one I'd really dislike. We got, we got to, we got to introduce our guests, and you got to read the rest. But we got an Uber ride from the finish line back to our hotel because we didn't want to walk another three miles. And the driver was one of the. Lazy fuck. The driver was like, because a lot of Uber drivers don't. want to be in the race area because it's a pain in the ass, but our driver is a runner, was a runner, and he was like, he was like, I'm one of the running Elvis's.

I was like, that's fucking crazy. He dressed like Elvis? Yeah, he dresses like Elvis and like runs with like a group of like 12 guys when they, when they do, you know, they do various half marathons. But then he. How's this? Thank you. Thank you very mile.

I think Thank you very mile is pretty good. It's maybe not the pitch, but maybe it's the pitch that gets us to the pitch. You ain't nothing but a hound jog? That's good. That's why you're a professional writer. I would love for my joke to play to just dead silence at a fucking roast or something. But then you could go really nail the bit and die on a toilet. That might happen tonight.

We'll see what happens. A homina. By the way, we have the 6-7 thing in the drop, which this one is referencing, or this was a 6-7 drop. this is the thing. There's mile markers on the race, right? In between miles six and seven, at the 6.7 mile mark was a group of teen girls holding a 6-7 sign. And they were doing this.

They were doing the little juggling. I was like, that's fun. That's cute. Everyone can enjoy that. You start run up and they join the race and run away from you? Thanks for being here, girls. I'm Weiger. Please keep running, sir.

This is my humor. Hey, Drop King and the dais. Here's a drop inspired by Costco 3 with Jesse Thorne. Go Slugs. May there be peace between the Burger Brigade and Spoonation. Aw. Thanks for all laughs. Trimpot.

Thanks Trimpot. Drops at Brut.com. Well, music at trimpot.org. So check out. Music at trimpot.org. Thanks so much. That was good one. Drops at birdfuck.com.

And here, we got a good one today. We have a great guest who I'm going to lend my CPAP to while. she's here. Hey, how about that? And I'll find you some Adderall. Is that a good true? That's a great tradeoff for me. I need it. Our guest is a writer and comedian. Her new special, What's Her Secret? Debutes May 18th on the 800-pound gorilla app. It's the Ungapachka Godmother, making a return.

Emmy Blotnick. Hi, Emmy. Oh, gosh. Thank you. What a treat. Thank you so much for being here. A treat for me as well. It's great to be here with you guys. You live in New York, but you're out here in L.A. for a job. But in New York, you got married. at a restaurant, I'm sorry, a bar that your husband owns El Pinguino. Yes. And this is still an operation.

Yes. It's in Greenpoint. And it's a very good place. They've got oysters and cocktails and stuff. You should go. Everyone should go. It sounds awesome. It's on the half shell.

I love oysters. And our associate producer, Emilio Marino, Muscles, Marino, always rolls a dice on fish. Always roll a dice on fish. I love fish. And muscles, oysters, clams. Do you like a saviche? Yes. I love a saviche.

I love a cevice as well. Go to El Pinguino. So is this a place? Is it like a lot of raw dishes? What is it? Or it's just got everything? It's a lot of raw seafood. But then there's also like cheeses and conservas and like it's a good date place.

Okay. And I know, yeah. And the oysters are an aphrodisiac. That's right. And then the CPAP is a non-issue. We're not going to need this. You're going to fuck me all night. I eat 14 oysters.

I can't be satiated. Sure thing. She's pouring oysters down my CPAP tube. He's like, are these East Coast or West Coast? You do have like a little tank next year. It is like a little aquarium that's next to your CPAP with distilled water. Ooh, could you put minionette in there? You could put some minionette in there.

Mignette in there and then put the oysters through the tube. You're in business. All right. Here's a question. As someone who I imagine is it about this CEP that serves oysters or no? It's not about that. Okay. But we can explore that some more.

And I was going to ask about is when you got your accompaniment sauces. Do you like a minionette? You like a cocktail sauce? Do you like a little, what do you go with? I like all of, I like to do a little bit of everything. Yeah, yeah. I like some lemon. Just lemon is good.

If there's some fresh horse radish, I'll throw that in there. That's a lot of fun. Can I be real here? Can I just be real for a second though? Minionette sauce is king. Come on. You got to do the Minionette. Minionette's king.

And also like I like to do what minionette just by itself, but then I do like to do a little of the cocktail sauce, minionette and horseradish. That's a fun combo. Oh, yeah. That's like a full. If there was a Chicago style oyster, feel it would be that.

Shit, Chicago-style oyster. That is a fun. Somebody should make that. Someone should do some. Someone should do some. There needs to be more marketing with oysters. There's not enough of that. Someone needs to fuck up an oyster really badly and then call it Chicago style.

Salary salt. Sport pepper. It's a raw tomato on it. Here's the issue with, you need it to be like something that's minced. So like a minced sport pepper, because you can't, it can't be something that you chew. With an oyster. No, yeah, yeah, you can't, like, you know and choose. I don't chew.

Yeah, I just, you slurp them down. I gargle, but I guess that's different. You gargle your oysters? No, it's just, I grossed myself out even making, even pretending. I feel sometimes you, like, hold it in your mouth for a second, but I don't bite it. I let it. I let it marinate. Yeah.

Like, you ever, you ever, because I let, that's, when you get that perfect slurp and it just goes right in, that's like delightful? You love the perfect slurp. Oh, I love the perfect slurp. There are times when you get the incomplete, like, sort of slurp, right? And there's just like, it's kind of like, oh, I fuck this up a little bit, or I didn't quite, you know, dislodge this before sucking or wasn't quite shucked properly. That's what that is. I feel like if it's shucked properly, it shouldn't cling to the shell. Yeah, sometimes you're going to get in there at that little fork and, like, break it up.

Yeah. I, like, anyway, the... I got a question for you. When it comes to oysters, are you an old dirty bastard or a glit? Glenn Fry. Ooh, baby, I like it raw versus the heat is on. Well, okay, so, but I will use a little tobasco sauce. So that would maybe put me the heat is on, but you mean like a grilled oyster with

the heat is on, right? Yes, yeah. Yeah, I like it raw. Who baby, I like it, I'm an old baby backer. I mean, either hated that or liked it. I'm in awe of it. Like, this man, yeah, okay. I'm an ODB as well, but I love the question.

Yeah, I do. Did you see him take a second to Google both of those songs? I didn't. I did not. I did not Google old dirty bastard. I did Google Glenn Fry. I knew the heat is on. I liked it.

It was worth it. Oh, I just had to figure out who Glenn Fry is. If I got a phone, I'm improvising like crazy up there. They should let you have a phone. They should let me have a phone. Who's lying at it anyways? And Colin mockery has asked me a question. I'm just Googling quickly.

John Bon Jovi birthday. Which I should know as a New England. John Bon Jovi, a big New England. New Jersey guy, right? Yeah, but he became friends with Robert Kraft. I don't know. Which is not a thing to brag about, I guess. I think people from Florida are probably friends with Robert Kraft at this point, too.

Hello. I think that's where his favorite. that's where his massage paulers are, if I remember correctly. Was it in Florida? I think it was in Florida, yeah, where he got jacked off.

Yeah. Are you a Robert Kraft or a Robert Palmer? Oh, Jesus. I guess a Robert Kraft of the two, I don't know what the question means. I didn't use my phone. Didn't Robert Palmer do something fucked up?

Robert Palmer was addicted to love. May as well face it. Oh, then I am Robert Palmer. Sorry. Yeah. All right, never mind. I'm more of a Robert Kraft. I'm addicted to being jacked off by sex traffic masseuses.

I'm an Arnold Palmer. I'm the unspoken third option, half tea, half lemonade. I would switch to that if I could. You can't too late. Yeah, it's too late. You know Wiger tries to claim that he created the Nick Wigar, which is... The perfected Arnold Palmer, the Nick Wigar, which is more iced tea, less lemonade. Which is how Arnold Palmer liked his drink.

In practice, though, you get half and half. You need the two-thirds, one-third. It's not sticking. It's just not going to stick. It sticks. You know what else is- No, it doesn't? It's sticks.

Don't you dare talk to me like that. Mitch, Mitch, I think this will get you back on my side. You know what else is sticking? And Commissioner Susser said this as well. This said it was a sticky phrase. No stew, no stream. Wow.

Thank you. Everyone out there who likes Twisted Metal Seasons 1 and 2 and is similarly pissed off about Mitch's absence from the impending season 3, no stew, no stream. That's very, you've been very kind to me about it all. I'm sad. Yeah, it's a bummer.

We're all sad. You know, the old, old Hollywood. What an industry. What a dame she is, huh? What a dame she is. What a fussy old broad. More like twisted industry, am I right? That's really good.

It is, it is, it is a twisted industry. I mean, we were walking back from our restaurant, the place we're going, I guess we can call it a restaurant. The place we're going to cover today. And I brought up, there was a, I brought up in conversation with Amelia, Jan Cancook, an old cooking show, and it unlocked something for you. So this was hosted by, I looked him up, his name was Martin Yan, chef Martin Yan Yan, and I watched a ton of this as a kid for some reason. I did too. Yeah. And I remember he was a very joyful person to watch.

Really charming guy. Yeah. I don't know this as well. I'm looking at up. Yeah. I don't, I mean, like, just looking more up about Glenn Frye right now. I don't. I don't remember if it was a PBS guy or what?

I think it was like, why don't have PBS. But he was just like a charming, like, smiley guy. He was just like happy to share his love of cooking. It was a great energy. And I feel like it was before, I don't know if the show's still going. We were kids, probably not still going. But it was before people like that would then spin off their brand into like, like, whatever, ramen noodles. And like, he wasn't selling you anything but the show.

I don't have a bunch of frozen dinners and like aprons and, you know, stainless steel appliances, you know. Not that I'm aware of at least. Something about that feels more pure to me. Yeah, I agree. No, I really like that show. Even if I can't really remember it specifically beyond the one thing I was quoting, which is that, you know, what's the difference between sorbet and sherbet?

This was the thing Chef Yan-Kan cook said that me and my friends would quote back to each other. The difference between sherbet and sorbet, five dollars a gallon. Pretty good. Skids, Amelia, called it Sherbet today. By accident. Which I kind of like Sherbet. I was like that seems like a kind of a cool new, like it seems like a new cool. It does sound cool.

Version of Sherbert. And we were all trying to say, how do you say Sherbert? Yeah, because there's no R in there, at least in some spellings. In this, the Baskin, oh, not to, is it, no, to reveal where we had this? People know. They clicked on the episode. Oh, okay. Well, cool.

They spelled it with no, it's S-H-E-R-B-E-T, Shurb. B-E-T, yeah. I've never heard anyone say Sherbet. I know. I always heard Sherbert, but, yeah. Sherbet, sure, yeah, there is no Sherbert. I always say Sherbert. Sherbert.

You know what's actually, you know what's actually, you know what's actually the BET Network? I've been calling it the BERT network. Hey, we just finished a marathon. Let's go watch BET together, Walker family. Does BET still exist or is that also God? I think all these channels still exist in some form, right? The BETT Awards still happen every year. Oh, okay.

That's good. Ellison television. The Ellison's bought it up? I think so. A problematic Ellison owns the network. I think it still exists, right? I think so. I think it still exists.

I mean, MTV's still exists. MTV barely exists. Yeah. But also, isn't it weird that, like, we were saying this, but, like, 15 years ago, I wouldn't be like, oh, Comedy Central is, like, I wouldn't think that it would go. It's nothing. It's, it's, it's, it's nothing. Yeah, yeah. But barely, barely. It's not, it's not, in five years, it probably won't be here, right? That's my guess.

So I met John Daly for lunch today. Oh, also, well, they're going to come on, but Margo has money problems is on Apple TV today. That's right. John Daly's in it and Eva Anderson. Our buddy, Eva Anderson's shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We should check that out. But as of this recording, it'll already be out. I was in Atwar Village and I sat in this restaurant. Maybe I shouldn't say this because I don't, but I was meeting John Daly at Holy Basil. and which is supposed to be really good. It's a Thai restaurant. It's a Thai restaurant.

And I sat in that, does anyone know this restaurant? That's like, it's called, do you know it? Yeah, I know what that restaurant is. I think it's 100% of front. It seems like,

it seems fake. We'll believe the name of it, but it seems very fake. It seems like a fake restaurant. Yeah, I've never actually eaten there, but I've seen it. I mean, I've seen it so many,

and I was like, oh, cool, he wants to go to like a weird spot. And I was sitting in there for like 15 minutes just didn't realize I was in the wrong restaurant. But did anyone come by? Did any servers? They gave me a pot of tea, so I felt so bad because I left. But there was like paper placements that had been used on the table.

It was very strange. And then afterwards, I was told that it's maybe a front restaurant, which I didn't even know existed. Possible it's a front, but also possible that place is just extremely good. It's like so good that they like don't do anything else, right? That also could be true. I have no idea. But I can never tell with places like that in L.A. I don't know those as well.

Right. I feel like there's not as much like, there's a few places, but they're like on Jonathan Gold's list or whatever. You're like, this is a place that's like in a strip mall, but it's like the best food in the world. And this place like looks kind of lousy and I thought it maybe was lousy. Could be. Yeah. Were there other people there? There was one other person there.

Okay. Did they look like they were running a front? Yes. Oh my God. It did see. Yes, it seemed that. Was the other guy also in the wrong restaurant? Did he leave in a hurry, realizing you'd made a mistake?

No, he was eaten. Oh, he was eating. He was straight up eating. Now I'm going to look at the reviews for it, but we'll bleep the restaurant. Okay. But you don't see that as much anymore. Not as many fronts as there used to be. Yeah.

Or they just got better at hiding them. Yeah. Maybe there's less need for fronts because you can just do it out in the open now. It doesn't matter. Also, by the way, do we record at a front? Headgum Studios. I never put it together that headgum might be a front, considering no one ever works here. Headgum feels like more of a front than fucking that restaurant I went to today.

I think mattress stores are fronts. Do you ever notice how there's always like four mattress stores on a corner in a suburb? That's true. How many people are buying mattress is enough that they need four of these? Yeah. It does have good rate. It does have good rate. Now I'm fascinated.

Maybe I'll try it. But don't you miss that old-time crime thing? This thing that still probably exists wherever you're from. Yeah. People used to think that Scorpion was in the mob, but. Where he's not. Apparently his father is named Scorpion. That's so cool.

Also very mob like. It is very mob like. I picture you living in the Copeland town, which you've now, oh wait, you haven't seen it yet. No, we watched it together. Oh, we did watch it. Okay, I was going to say, okay, see, my brain's mush. I left halfway through to make a phone call, so I was missing. You're going to watch the rest of it.

It's so good. Good movie. Were you calling Jimmy? Probably near my town, though. Me? Yeah, we're calling Jimmy. I call, whenever we're on the road I call, like, once a day to say hi and check in. That's beautiful.

I don't talk to Mike, but I talk to Jimmy. Wait, it's near your town? They probably, I know they filmed a lot of the Sopranos, like, in my town or around it. Wow. What's in the name of your town again? Pearl River, New York. Pearl River, New York. Sounds picturesque.

But it's more of a copland. It doesn't sound like where a guy named Scorpion would live. It's like a commuter town outside of city. It sounds like a sitcom town, kind of. It used to be called Muddy Creek, and then they changed it. Muddy Creek is right. Make sense. Muddy Creek makes sense.

When do they change it? Like in the early 1900s, I think. Oh, okay. Yeah. They should change it back. Yeah, change it back. Muddy Creek, New York is what they named it? Yeah.

Is it, is it, are there muddy creeks? Kind of. I think the story is that they found a pearl in the creek or something. And then they're like, we're going to change it to Pearl River. That's fun. It's probably not true. Yeah. That sounds made up.

I believe it with all of my heart. It rebranded. I mean, you live in New York City, as I believe we mentioned, but you lived here in L.A. for some time. We worked together on at midnight, such a fun show, where I got to know you. And when you, there, when you first guested on Doe Boys, the, how's the big city? How's the big city? How's the big apple treating you? It's good.

I mean, it's always nice to come here and be able to, like, bring a lot of groceries to where I'm staying, having a trunk that you can fill things with. But New York is good. There's like a, you know, thriving pizza scene as you're aware of. Which of the five boroughs do you live in? Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, the Bronx, and don't forget Staten Island. Woo! I live in a Scorpion Barge. The Sixth Borough.

That's right. It's gangland. Gangland, baby. I used to live in Brooklyn and now live in Manhattan. Oh, there you go. Not to brag. Yeah. But now I want to ask you that.

Moving on up. Well, I guess it's all nice. New York is all nice. Well, it's all not nice. I can't tell which. I have a 90s idea of Manhattan in my head, which is, which I feel like is not really what the deal is anymore, right? Is it like the friend's apartment?

What do you think of? Yeah, I kind of do think of the friends apartment. Yeah. You think of like a guy like Cosmo Kramer being able to live in Manhattan. Yeah. Which is not, which is that, Brooklyn was very cool for a very long time. Hamford lives there. There's a lot of, there's a lot of people who moved to Brooklyn.

Yeah, I think it's still cool. Yeah, yeah. I have a lovely time when last year we're in Brooklyn. I love going there. And also the pizza is, come on. It is the great pizza town. It's the best pizza. It is, I mean, I love Regina and it's my favorite pizza in the world.

but you get... Oh, Pizzeria Regina. Yes, yeah. Oh, my God. And the North End? Yeah. So good. We were, we did it.

I was, it was a very happy moment for me when Wags went to Pizzeria Regina and gave it five four. I loved it. I loved it. Because you also from New England. Yes. Yeah, that was, I think maybe, yeah, that's a, like a foundational pizza for me. Were you, were you a two person?

Absolutely. I mean, like, I was eating the dough. Yes. Oh, me too. Yes. You know you're supposed to play with? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

At Bertucci's, for those who have not had the experience, you get, I think it's like old, dirty, it's old dirty dough. Like children just would eat. I mean, they would, like, maybe pass around from child to child, so you're getting, like, germ dough. But I think that they would give you a fresh little lump of it. But the dough there was Bertucci is another victim of, like, one of the chain restaurants we were rooting for. And I think it's like, I think it they're almost all gone. It was acquired by Robert Earl, who he also owns Planet Harle. Hollywood and used it along with Bucca DeBepo as a platform for celebrity ghost kitchens.

Isn't it sad when you feel sad for Wendy's and Wendy's being destroyed? This is what's happened with our podcast. I go, you say it. No, you said this a while ago, and it's well articulated, which is that now we're at the point where you have to like root for smaller chains or for regional chains to succeed. When you should be rooting for small businesses. but like now the little guy is like a chain that has a hundred locations. It's DeAngelo's. It's Papagino.

Oh, my God, yes. It's Bertucci's. You have to like root for these smaller chains. You've got to hope they keep inspecting the meat. Bertucci's was in tough. We went and had, I still thought it was pretty good. You guys did not. It was the end of a tour and I had COVID.

That's right. You did have COVID. I did have COVID. I was pulling pepperoni's off of his pizza and pizzeria Regina while I had COVID. I had no idea. You didn't know. I mean, you, you, you seemed like you were sick. You didn't want to get tested.

Hold on a second. Now I'm going to out your ass. I was, I had tested before I went to, to, um, uh, Foxwood. Wait, no, we were at, uh, Mohegan Sun, right? No, we were at Foxx. We were at Fox. Well, everyone has COVID there. I mean, I said to Wags, I was like, I tested, I'm fucking sick, though.

And Wig said, no more testing till the shows are done. you fucked up piece of shit but then I did I will say this I double masked your test was negative your test was negative my test was negative

when I took it I double masked and I stayed away from people and then we went to the Red Sox game and I felt so much better and then I was like hey like maybe I just was sick this is great

and then I went to Regina with Carl and Wiger and I took a sip of Carl's beer and I pulled off Wigers pepperoni slices and I went home and I crashed so hard I took a test

and it turned the new shade of black because it was so positive. And I had to, like, yell upstairs to my mom and be like, I have it. And I, like, ran to the basement. Because this is, this is 2022. Something like that, yeah. I think it was two years,

two years after COVID had started. And I ran down in the basement. I had it. And then I called Wags and Carl who were at the airport. And I was like, I have it. We were sitting at the bar together at the airport. And you called, you were on speakerphone telling us you had COVID. We're like, well, all right.

What do we do now? We'll do this information. Crazy enough, no one got it. We didn't get it. Except for Mike. Mike got it. Actually, both Mike's, maybe I had Mike COVID. Maybe it was Mike COVID.

I, my name is Mike. That's right. The other person who got it, John Adams, kissed me on the cheek. His name is Mike Romondi. Mike Dorfman got it. It was a Mike infection. It was a Mike strain. Like, I only think of you as Mitch.

I only think of Romandi as Romandi. He is a Mike. He's a Mike. It might be a Mike COVID. Actually, all three of us are Michaels, technically. Wow. Even more a damning. Yeah.

Do you remember the movie Michael with a... I do remember. John Travolta Angel. Yeah. I don't know what happened in it, but he was an angel. He had the angel wings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he had the angel wings.

He got my COVID, I think. I think that's where it started. But yes. He's putting his fingers in everyone's pepperoni. Yeah, it couldn't have been like a worse thing where I was like, hey, and then I had it. But he had, he had wings, but he still piloted a Marshall jet? Tervalta just insisted on doing it.

I thought you meant chicken wings when you said that. He had that too. He was crushing a plate of wings while he was a flying at 747. A Travolta-led movie. I guess he's older now. He's an older gentleman. He's an older gentleman. He's an esteemed career. Yeah. Do we hate, I don't know where we land on any celebrity now. I like Travolta. We like Travolta, right? Yeah, he was a Scientologist, so people don't like that. Of course, I get it, but it's a cult, you know, what are you supposed to? But, you know, I don't know.

My grandma was Catholic, and I, like, I loved my grandma. And I'm Catholic. Where is this going? Are you comparing Catholicism and Scientology? I'm saying you can't, I don't know. I don't, when people get mad at us for saying we like Tom Cruise. Oh, I get what you're saying. So I'm saying that, like, saying, like, Travolta is like.

I feel like those are different. Tom Cruise is, like, a mouthpiece for Scientology. Travolta not as much, right? I don't know. I don't know if he's his, he's, he's, he's, He did make, he did make the, get the Battlefield Earth movie made, which is an Elron Hubbard novel. You know what? I'm going to put a, I'm going to say I'm pro-Travolta just off of how he introduced Edina Menzel. That was really, really funny.

The wickedly talented Adele de Zeme is one of the best things I've seen in my life. It's so funny. It's so funny. It's so good. We love them. I mean, that was a better time. It was a better time in our world. What a better time.

Anyways, I only gave a couple people COVID. Where are you? You mentioned wings. Where are you on wings? Because we, our first episode was we did Wing Stop. Way back in the day, Do Boys Year 1. I am extremely pro-wing. I do, I do have fond memories of going to Wingstop.

I can't believe it has been 11 years. It's been a long time. We did in the podcast for too long. We went to have, did we go to Habit Burger together? Yes. We also did. We also did Habit Burger. We just revisited Habit Burger and also got a habit.

It's gotten better or worse? It's gotten worse. That's what I feared about revisiting Wingstop, too, is that I can't imagine that they've been like, and we've made the chicken even better in these trying times. Yes, yeah. I feel like they're doing some, they're probably like growing some chickens that are like all wings and no heads. I don't know.

We don't have to talk about it. That was always the KFC urban legend. They changed their name because they don't actually sell chicken anymore. They sell these genetically modified, you know, superorganisms that are like, yeah, all legs and wings. And it did end up not being true. I mean, horrifying to think, though. But if you could do something like that, if you could make something that's just pure meat with no central nervous system, I think you're a lady that's all legs? Oh, the dream.

Meet my girl. It's just two legs. Legs that don't quit Tall drink of water Oh my god An all legs woman She wouldn't mind your CPAP No no not at all

She'd be down the other end Just a waist down woman Wouldn't even need a butt crack We're just gonna go back to that sex store in Japan And get one of those dang All legs Did you say they had? Wags went to a sex store in Japan, and there were...

I'm listening. I was there with my buddies, Heather Campbell, about it-up-and-a-badocke by Get Played co-host, and Heather wanted to know what was on the male-only floors of the sex shop. So I wasn't going to go in there anyway. I was going to go in there anyway, I will admit. But I was like, oh, yeah, that gives me a little bit of a quest. And on the male-only floors were one of them was like,

I characterized it as oops all flesh, It was just a bunch of different flashlights all, like a lot of them branded after individual like Japanese porn stars or Japanese celebrities or anime characters. And then the top level was just full on real dolls. And so they had like full-sized women, but you also could just buy like a torso. Were there men too or just was it just women? All women. It was all targeted straight men. Yeah.

Or people who date men, date women. Yeah. Whoa. It was really intense. It honestly, like, it's hard to disturb me. Did anyone confuse you for a sex robot and like, fuck you at all? I just stood there, smiling. You're like, do they make a his dad model?

Faster model. It's hard to unsettle me. It's hard to unsettle me, but that you could just buy a foot with a hole in it. I was like, I'm not sure I care for this. You loved that. Sorry to ask him. The bottom of the foot. You fucking loved.

Yeah. Whoa. Where did you think? A man's dream. I thought maybe the ankle. Like if it was cut off at the ankle. Oh, that's an interesting idea. Yeah.

That would at least look funny to wear. Right. Right. You freak. You were having a blast in there. I was having a blast. I'm glad I'm glad I visited it. You put yourself up on a fleshlight at the fucking table and open your mouth wide.

I already said this on. These are all too big for me. I already said this on the podcast, but so I'm, I'm repeating. myself, but to tell Emmy, when I was going up to the first of the male only floors, I said to myself out loud, like, oh, is one of the male only floors. And another guy in there said to me in English, like, that's where all the good stuff is. He was a Japanese guy? Yeah. And then he was, I mean, like, he might have been, he was an Asian guy. He might have not been, like, Japanese citizen.

I'm some shock you didn't bring this guy back with you. Joe Boy's podcast with Nick Weigrant. and the guy you met at the fucking super sex store. He's got a new guy to pick his pepperoni's now. That is very disturbing. How did you respond to that? Did you like give a thumbs up? I just like, you know, you kind of give it some sort of acknowledgement, like a little bit of a nod or something or a little bit of a half laugh, you know?

I mean, this is very funny, just picturing you trying to react to this man. Kind of reacted like a Do Boy's audience member. a smile and something approximating a laugh. Emmy, so we, I'm curious, I mean, we mentioned pizza already, but I mean, it's top of mind in New York City and we're talking about food, but. Give us your, can we ask her her spots? Oh, yeah, give me your spots. Give me your pizza spots. Um, lay industry is.

I have had lay industry. Ooh, super good. It is very good. A very good classic, a slice. It's a slice joint. Yeah, yeah. Love that. That one's really good.

And then there's one called Upside. That's on Spring Street. They have some pretty good slices. I'm trying to think what else. I really like F&F. Have you ever had F&F? No, I really like to FNF. Which of the five boroughs is that in?

That might, oh, man. Just to refresh you, Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, and don't forget Staten Island. Oh, I almost forgot Staten Island. I think it was, I'm Googling it. Yeah. F&F Pizzeria is in Brooklyn. I was going to say Brooklyn, okay. So it was Brooklyn.

I went to a new spot just recently with Carl and Carl Tart and Zach Cherry and Stavros. What a, what a crew. I'm going to find out the name of it. It was great. That's a good crew. Oh, Leo is also good pizza in Brooklyn. Lucky Charlie. That's the place we were.

Lucky Charlie. Have you had Leo? I haven't had Leo either. I got to try Leo. That one's really good. There's so much good pizza. There's so many, there's so many options. It's like you get analysis paralysis because you could get you to different pizza place every day and have a bunch of great slices.

Are you like, are you like, are you getting those pepperoni's pulled off? Or what is your go-to baseline slice? It depends if you have, I was going to say, if you have COVID or not. I like, it depends on the place, I think. But in general, I do like the corner piece. Like, I like if it's a square pie. Oh, yeah. I like a little crust on both edges or on two sides, I guess.

But you know what? Sometimes also the one that's just in the middle, the big, the big, like, meaty, like, saucy, goopy slice in the middle. I sometimes like that, too. You like the center sog. I like the center sog. I do like the center sog. You got fork and knife that. You sometimes, yeah, you're right.

You got a de Blasio, that slice. Sort of a dated regional reference. I feel like if you, because he, it. ate pizza with a forked knife. Yeah. And it was embarrassing. Just torts your credibility. Yes, yeah.

This is a forked knife pizza guy, I feel like. I think you'll use a fork and knife occasionally. No, why would you say that? I don't know. You just seem like a forked knife, I don't know. Maybe I am. Who cares? See, you?

I think you kind of are. No, I don't think I, usually not, but I like, I guess I would do it. Forking knife on your pie, hole in the bottom of your foot kind of guy. I am a slice folder. I don't know if that's, that's a kosher or not. Not me? Don't fold that shit up. You know what I'm talking about.

I like to fold. Is it because you're in a hurry? No, it's just fun. Okay. You might be a Calzone guy. Oh, maybe we could do that. That Calzone is pre-folded. Yeah.

Is that heretical? I didn't even realize that it was a issue of folding your slice. Because I feel like there's so many New Yorkers, like when you see it was like, you take the slice, you fold it up a year. I'm like, that's fucking bullshit. That's what I was saying. I thought it was like more of a New Yorker thing to fold it, but I could be wrong. I feel like that's what you do if you're walking down the street with it.

Yeah. I like to. curve the first bite a little bit, like a slight curve, but not fold it. Got it. For ease of holding. For the tipy top one. Yeah. But I never fold.

You know what I like to do is I like to take two bites of my pizza and then throw it in the trash and then walk into the comedy cellar. The old Louis. Is there other Louie things you like to do? I'm more of a Robert Kraft guy. No, there is. I've gotten some phone calls from him and wondering what's going on on the other end of the line. Are you folding your slice right now? I can hear you.

I can hear you fold in your slice. If I'm going to jack off talking to you, we're at least going to monetize it. We're going to put that up on the Patreon. 100%. Yeah, you better be in fucking person when you finally do it. The people listening, they admire you, you know.

That's what makes it okay. Yeah, that opening of Louis, very, But also, I think it is a famous pizza place that he goes to, isn't it? It's like Ben's pizza. It's right on the corner where the comedy seller is. I think it's famous, like, from, it may be from that. That would track. But I think it's been there a long time.

The original Joe's is right around there too, isn't it? Yeah. And I like Joe's pizza. Joe's is very good. Joe's is good. Give it a break. There are a few Joe's in L.A. And I think they're consistent.

And I will, I walk to, I got a, the day after I ran the half marathon. I got like a hot stone massage. And then afterwards I walked over to a Joe's and I got myself a slice, a plain slice, and then I like a white with spinach sometimes. That's a lot of fun. Do you, are you a, I found when I've, when I've been in L.A., people recommend different cauliflower pizzas and I want to know if you're interested in that. I've tried the cauliflower pizza.

Are you, like, are you gluten-free person? No. Yeah. So I'd say unless you're trying to avoid gluten, I mean, there's not, I've heard. I've had some good ones. I think they were trying to push it for a while as like, it's like a little bit better for you, but it's like, what the fuck is the difference if you're eating sauce and cheese?

Like a, I guess it is a vegetable. It never tastes the same. It's for gluten-free people or people with celiac. I mean, I think it's a good substitute in those cases. But if you like eating, if you eat bread, I mean, just have a regular slice. Why bother, you know? I'll tell you a couple secret pizza out here, very good.

I don't know if you know of secret pizza. No, no one's told me about it. Sounds very much like a pizza gate restaurant, but it is, but it is, it's a, it's a real good pizza place. Secret pizza. Secret pizza. It's, it's, it's great. It's in like Eagle Rock, I guess, area. Does anyone know it?

Yeah, it's like Highland Park. Highland Park, yeah. Yeah, that's great. And also, I mean, how could I forget? Wags, you weren't there. We went to quarter sheets without you. Emma and I, we didn't even talk about this in the pod. Oh, yeah.

Patreon did a little, Patreon had a bunch of people over. at Quarter Sheets. Our buddy Sam at Patreon invited us. I happened to be, I was out of town. I was at Casabonita that same time. You were at Casabonita. You had some niece going on or some shit. I had to meet my newborn niece.

The newest member of Muddy Bank or whatever the fuck you live. No, we, we, we, we, we had a great time. It was a great meal. The first time I ever sat down at Quarter Sheets. I've only taken out, so it was fun to sit. Tiny little spot. I know the owners, but my favorite restaurant in LA. I'm saying I know them, but I also, it is my favorite restaurant in LA.

Quarter sheets. It's a great meal, 10 out of 10. It's like a pizza place, but it's also like a full-blown Italian meal. We got like salad and asparagus and the dessert. Meatballs. Yeah. Sounds pretty good. And fantastic desserts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you like besides like pizza as New York-wise? Like, do you have any go-toes? The hot nuts? Do you ever eat the, we always ask about the hot nuts? I like nuts for nuts Yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't I can't remember the last time I actually bought

Nuts for nuts nuts nuts Yeah who are the hot nuts for The hot nuts I wanted to get them And then you had to remind me that you were allergic to peanuts Yeah Honestly that could be it I'm trying to think what else Were those around always like hot dogs

Or like the nuts for nuts thing Have they been around forever? Like they came around at a certain point I don't feel like they were there Maybe they were there always I have no fucking idea. Some New Yorker knows. Why am I trying to guess?

I can't remember a time that they weren't there. Okay. But I don't, yeah, I don't eat those very... Are you, like, a halal cart person? I do like a... I do like Mahmoons. Like, if we're talking about places next to the comedy seller, Mamoons is really good, and then I like a Chinese hot pot situation.

Oh, that's funny. And there's a lot of that in New York. There's probably a bunch of that out here, too. There is, yeah. But I just don't know the spots yet. Um, there's, uh, how do you, I'm gonna mispronance it. Uh, the famous, famous, famous food. Yes.

I still think about that meal. It was so good. Yeah, it was great. Hanford gave it like two forks or something. Right. He did some fucking, he pulled some bullshit. Um, who gave it two forks? A buddy Mike Hanford. Hanford also was a guy who like eats rock. He's like, like, uh, not purposely,

but like he's like, uh, he doesn't like food. He's one of these people who doesn't like, Hanford doesn't like. Hamford doesn't like food. Right. He like doesn't, he like eats food for nourishment and like, uh, he's just like, I'm gonna grow up some chicken again. You know, like that's he, like he, I don't think he enjoys it as much as other people. He went to,

Handman, don't get mad at me. It's the truth, though. It is. We went to Jean's famous, uh, food foods and he like ordered like a side of white rice and then ate it with like McDonald's barbecue sauce. Like it's like that sort of thing, you know? It's not really a fair assessment. I would revoke that fork rating.

If you just get white rice from a place, come on. It's unfortunately canonical. It's canonical, unfortunately. It's not in the Golden Play Club. I want to revisit it. I loved it. I think that's a projection of his own internal fork rating. Do you ever see Hammerford in the doing standup in New York?

Do you guys have a wrong? I've seen him not recently, but that's not a reflection of him. I feel like I've seen him at a couple places in Brooklyn. He's super funny. but will I trust his restaurant recommendations? You know, questionable. Yeah, you should not. Yeah.

Do you know any good white rice places? Do you perform at the comedy store occasionally? Out here? Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. The comedy seller. And then like in Brooklyn, like Union Hall, the Bell House. Oh, sure.

Littlefield, places like that. We were at the Bell House to the George Lucas talk show, a lot of fun. Oh, that's fun. Great venue. Great venue. Yeah, I like it there. Did you, here's a, here's a question for you. You're out there in the city.

You're doing shows. Maybe you're going, maybe you're going up and, you know, you got a late slot and you're, you know, it's like all of a sudden after midnight. You got to eat some, some approximation of a dinner. What do you go to? Well, the restaurant above the comedy cellar, the olive tree is open pretty, they serve food pretty late. And there's one thing there that I would credit the comedian Tom Pop, for nachos Tompapa, which is, have you heard about this already? No.

You guys heard about this? No. It's nachos that are basically deconstructed. So it's the cheese on the chips, but the rest of the stuff is in its own separate side cups. Oh, I like that. I like that a lot. It's great if you want to exercise control over something because you can put like just one sliced jalapeno or you can dip it in all this stuff. And sometimes when you feel like you're spiraling, there's a great comfort in nachos Tompapa.

It's not on the menu that I know of, but I think you could call it and they might be like, who's this cool guy? That sounds like a blast. It's pretty good. I love it. Also, a very funny person. But, but that's, I think I would like, I think I like nachos more of that. I also like a cheese melted on the, like, like, you're getting like a fully cheased piece of the tortilla chip. Oh, that's funny.

Yeah, I know what you're talking about. So it's like completely melted on there. And it grafted on there. Yes. Yeah. That's what I want. And that's like, that's like, home. homemade nachos when you're younger. You put

tostitos in the thing and you sprinkle Mexican cheese on it and you just melt the cheese on there. You ever make that in the oven? It's a lot of. And then leaving it, like, doing it well done is a, it's like such a elevates the whole. And you can make a meal out of nachos if you do it right. You can make a meal out of nachos if you do it right. Yeah. It's true. It is. This is just facts.

I have nothing to ask. It's true. Get off our backs. It's a meal. Leave us alone. You can do it. Take it up with Tom Papa. It's a meal. Did you see the Will Arnette movie, the Bradley Cooper directed movie? Actually, I disagree. I don't think it's a meal. You don't?

What if you put chicken and stuff on it? You can absolutely be a meal. It's not enough for me. You can eat nachos as a meal? No, you know what? Fuck both you. I don't like it. We make nachos as a meal in our house all the time.

Well, you guys are wrong. That's a snack you've had. Loaded up with a full sheet tray, two people, loaded up with chicken or beef. I know Skids got my back. Some avocado. Skids got my back. When Baja fresh... You stay in silent over there?

I know it's not good a lot of the time. When Baja fresh didn't suck. What if they're nachos, like Italian nachos? It doesn't matter. I think they're Italian nachos. I don't know. Side piece. In the heyday of Baja fresh, they had really good nachos.

And if you got one of those nachos, because they were intended to be shared by like four people as an appetizer. If you got that as a dish for one, it absolutely would be a meal. You're essentially getting the exact same thing as the, the good. ingredients is a burrito, they're just delivered in chip form. It's like saying that, you know, chilikiles aren't a meal because they got chips in them. You can have, chips can be a meal. That's fucking bullshit. It's eggs. Chili chilis are eggs.

Well, you can put fucking carnia sada or pollo asada on a fucking fucking nachos, and they're fucking a meal. He's so mad. Well, guess what? French fries are a main course, too, you fucking idiot. You can make French fries a main court. Carni asada fries. Carniasta fries. Carneasada fries could be a main course. That's insane. I have to side

with Wager on this one. I think this is. Why don't you go egg your nachos at home, okay? So by that logic, you could have like seven Twinkies and that's a meal. No. This is not by that logic. Hey, you put some chicken on there, you could do it. That's what you're saying. You're saying this just to get a rise out of us.

With meals here. Notches have veggies. They have dairy. They have protein. They have all the different food groups. You have dietary fiber from the beans? Mm-hmm. Corn chips.

Corn is a grain thing. It's a side piece. It's a side piece. You're sharing it with your friends. You're having pieces. What about a cassidia? Side piece. See, that's what I say.

It's oftentimes the appetizer's a menu. But to me, that could be an entree. I think that's an entree as well. Yeah. If you put some meat in there. I think that could go meal mode, cascadia. I'm more on a cassadia being a meal mode.

Now, now hold on just a minute here. You're saying both of these items on the appetizer section of the menu at a restaurant, yet only one of them qualifies as an entree. Whoa, whoa, whoa, are we in the bayou right now? Are we in? Are we in? I think we found ourselves in a glass on you.

It's so funny that he's like, I don't want to be James Bond anymore and said I'm going to be like this annoying Southern dork. Oh, I like Ben Bob. Fuck you. James Bond is so much cooler than the fucking, well, I do to clear. That's fucking bullshit. I love that Daniel Craig decided you want to be. be a mad TV character in a bunch of mystery movies. I think it's really fun.

Hey, do you want to be like one of the coolest guy, like coolest, like spies ever? Do you want to be like fucking, uh, who is the guy? Who's the guy from the Looney Tunes guy who taught, what's his name? Foghorn Leghorn. He chose Foghorn Leghorn over James Bond. I would too. That seems more fun. I like Benoit.

No, you don't. Yes, I do. You do not like Benoit Block. Now I'm mad at you. That's insane. You do not like Benoit Blancos are a meal and he likes Benoit. You know what? If that's the world you live in, fuck that. The world deserves to end. That's bullshit. I'm happy to be a middle point where I think nachos are a meal, but I don't like Benoit Blanc.

Wow. And I only said I do declare because I don't know how to do Bayou voice. I will take nachos or a meal before I will take Benoit Blanc is a good character. That's insane. Benoit Blanc is a dumb, shitty character. I'm sorry. You guys are idiots if you like Benoit Blanc. I'm sorry Benoit Blanc I've heard bad things

You could be I just don't you're a working actor You could very easily be in knives out I don't want to be in knives out Fuck that guy I'm sorry Ryan I call them Ryan Murphy I'm Brian Johnson

I don't even have anything against you But I do think Benoit Blanc is dumb And you know what You can think my podcast is dumb Or some things I can We've become too sensitive It's okay to dislike things But I'm just sort of

I'm saying Benoit Blanc is so stupid. I like Benoit Blanc's stupid. You know who else I like? Is it an greatest detective in the world? Hicu Poirot. I think Hugh Poirot is fun. You know what?

And you're my friend. I'll tell you, Sherlock Crum sucks. It was hard for me to say it, but Sherlock Crum sucks. I'm gonna get Emmy has no fucking clue what Sherlock Crumbs is. Sherlock Crums is a character Wags does

and it sucks, it's bad. You know what? Fine, rolling it all out there? You know what else sucks? All right, no, you've gone too far. Fucking hack. Fucking great. Also, you got to bleep that because no one knows who it is.

That's all right. We'll bleep it. That was just for us. We'll bleep all of it. You know who my favorite detective is? Who's that? Adrian Monk. Monk is good.

Monk is good. Monk is good. Munk is good. Emmy once again representing the radical centrism that we need in this country. Someone to represent the moderate majority. Is that, are you cool with what? with representing the centrist. The people who, the leaked naches are a meal, but don't like Benoit Blanc.

I think Benoit should get eaten by gators. Gotta bring it back to the bayou. Benoit Blanc, is that, was that too mean? Benoit Blanc is pretty stupid. I don't like Benoit. I don't like either of those movies. Yeah, they're stupid. But I also don't stand a chance of being cast in them.

I mean, I'm not going to be cast. in a Ryan Johnson thing. Look, he's a problem, I have no beef with Ryan Johnson. He can make, like, God bless him, he's making movies. But you're not the biggest fan of Benoit Blanc or The Last Jedi.

I don't like The Last Jedi, I don't like Bedouin Blanc, but also he probably doesn't like a ton of shit I do. He doesn't even know who I am. That's the other big thing. I bet he knows who you are. You think so,

and you think he's sad that I made fun of The Last Jedi or, or, I think he's out there opposed to no studio stream. Benoit Blanc should get to the bottom of this mystery of, why peacock got into this guy I don't have a tenth minute to learn this accent

Stu is from the Bay I mean I shot down the bayou too that's right oh yeah I was down to Bayou were you doing the accent you know it not open the accent kind of calms and goals when you're down in Dubai I uh I you know if Ryan Johnson was like I don't like

Stu I'd be like that's okay Ryan Johnson that's fine I think you'd be like fuck that guy You're right. Well, you know what I don't like Benoit Blanc either, piece of shit? You're not my real crawl dad. From all accounts, Ryan Johnson is a nice person.

I heard he's a lovely man. So I am not trying to... I have no beef anymore. I don't. I have no... I don't have beef anymore. Yeah, except in your diet. I did have...

At holy basil today, I did have a great... What'd you order? Ooh, shit. I'm not going to remember the name of it, but it was just, it was rice and then shredded beef. Okay. Was the placemat filthy or? No. Oh, that was the other place.

This was the other place. That was the front. This place was fucking delicious. Check it out if you have a, you got plenty of time, Holy Basil. You got time to check out my CPAP mask and Holy Basil. Yeah. Are you a Thai food enthusiast? I like Thai food.

I think that's one of the things LA has better than New York. I would concur, yeah. I used to go to Thai patio, but then the. last time I went there. They had a musician playing keyboard to basically empty dining room and he was playing Green Days, Wake Me Up when September ends. It's more memorable than what I ate. Was it was it a piano only rendition? Yes. Wow. I kind of want to hear it honestly.

Picture like like nice and high key like oh yeah no I'm sorry and I wasn't trying to make you do like make the sound of the I wasn't trying to make you tried to uh... I mean it was flopping through that by you shit you think I can do a green day where do you I saw Green Day in Toronto

with Samoa Joe and it was a very fun show yeah did you did you ever want to act were you ever into the acting side of stuff or were you well Jimmy's cleaning my jeans oh Jimmy I remember you wearing a horse mask on that midnight bit wow you've a great memory

that was I will do any acting anybody requests of me. Okay. But I don't receive a lot of requests. I think the last request I got was, hey, wear this suffocating horse mask. For a non-speaking horse role. I was George Lucas. I had a blast.

That's right. I don't know if I think Emmy might have departed the show by that point. Oh, because of that decision having played George Lucas. Is the real George Lucas not available? Yeah, that was the first act. and then they went to Mitch. I was the second ask after George Lucas. All right.

I love that. You did, no, but you crushed it. That was so fun. Thank you, Wig. And also, Wig's, uh, Wig's spoke up for me. So, uh, Gra, Gra P-O-W. Gra P-O-P-O-W-P-O-G-P-O-G-P-O-Goo. Y-Gue.

Yeah, like Y-Gue beef, yeah. That sounds very good. Yeah. It was, it was delicious. A lot of great food out here. There's a lot of good. But you said you're buying groceries for the first time. I am sucked into Arawan when I'm here.

I can't help it because that's another thing. New York, there's a store now called Happier Grocery that's trying to do what Aeroon does. But you get all these glass bottles and then you have to navigate narrow, busy streets and you might accidentally smash your glass bottles into like a light post or something. And then in my case, it was a $20 bottle of turrets. turkey chili that had shattered in the vass. And the glass, the chili, you're like, why did I do this to myself?

Yeah. So here you can really, yeah. That's what's happening. That was a little kind of like a mistress that's uncomfortable things. There is, this is too long. I've already told this story a million times on the, or just recently twice. On the podcast, yeah. But there was a guy who was like, came to, like, who I knew from college.

She was like a very like, I'm a cool guy. And he was like, I'm going to do something at the show in, at UCB. There was a show called Not Too Shabby. It's like an open mic sketch and character show. And he did this thing call. And he went out on stage. He went, do do do do do do do do do do. Mr. Sits on uncomfortable things.

Sits on uncomfortable things. And then he sat on an orange cone and went, you. And then the lights went out. And the theater went dead silence. But Amelia now says, it's good and everyone has rallied behind her and says it's good online. I think it's, I think it's legitimately unironically funny.

I mean, and then like you did it. It was funny. You did it in the pool in Orlando and you were making a laugh. You were making a laugh. It was. It was fucking going. I still thought. I thought it was bad still.

It should have got my thing with the chili of eating and going, yeah, it was the same thing. Mr. Eats Glass in his soup. Chili is not fucking soup, right, Amelia? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Okay, yeah, I can rally behind that.

Do you eat it with a fork or a spoon? Amelia, blink twice if you feel like you're being pressured into certain food stances. She blinked once. Which I don't know what that means. We did a soup month. We did a soup month, didn't we? Oh, yeah, yeah. I think during the soup month we said...

You don't remember when we did soups? No, I think during the soup month we said... We said that chilies are allowed. Yeah, we said chilies weren't allowed, but chilies weren't toxinomically soups. Yes, I don't think chilies are soup. But they're soup like. Do you disagree with us? Well, what are they if they're not soups?

They're chili. It's like stew. But stew, I would say, is in the soup category. Oh, no stew, no stream. Oh. No stew, no soup. For you. I think that's a soup.

I think stew's a soup. I think chili's a soup. I can't think of any other soups you would, like, put on a hot dog. That's a good point, too. I would put clam chowder on a hot dog. We know you would be sick fuck. Yeah, that makes sense. That's Italian nachos.

Is chili like a chowder? It's like a thicker soup. Are chili cheese fries an entree? Yes. No. Yeah. If you have a huge fucking Tommy burger chili cheese fries with a whole bunch of meaty chili and their big amount of cheese on it.

I'm not saying you're a gross big fat fuck for eating that. I'm just saying that is not an entree. That absolutely could be a meal. bowl of chili and a side of fries, is that a meal? No. I think that's a meal. I feel like a meal. Yeah.

I think that's a meal too. Fuck, it is a meal. It is. So if I dump the chili onto the fries, is that a meal? Yeah. So if she were to transfer the chili from the container where it was being held onto the fries to make some sort of chili fries, would that be an entree? I hate.

I hate Sherlock Crosse. We got to talk about the fucking restaurant. Hey, buddy, you know when you just want something comforting after a long day, like the day we just had today, Mitch? That's right, Wax. We're recording a lot of doughboys episodes here in the content minds. Well, that's when we turn to Goodalls. It has all the nostalgia of the mac and cheese we grew up with, but with ingredients that make me feel good. Each serving is packed with protein, fiber, and essential vitamins and minerals, and tastes amazing.

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Where's ice cream in your dessert hierarchy? It depended entirely on the source of the ice cream. Interesting. It's where it lands in my hierarchy. If good ice cream for me is number one. Good ice cream can be number one for me too. I'm not saying that that's what we had for this episode. Today we had Baskin Robbins.

Baskin Robbins. Oh, my God, the shade. Was founded in 1945 in Glendale by Burt Baskin and Irv Robbins. How about that? Did I throw my empty dish in today? Like Carol Baskin. It wasn't the Carol Baskin. It was the Tiger, the Tiger King Lady?

That bitch Carol Baskin. It merged with Dunkin Donuts in 1994 to form Duncan Brands. And there are co-branded stores that have both Duncan Donuts and Baskin Robbins. In 2020, Duncan Brands itself was acquired by Inspire Brands. which also owns Arby's, B-dubs, and Jimmy John. This is where things went sideways. Here's another thing. I did not know this about Baskin-Robbins before this episode.

Famous former employee, Barack Obama. Wow. Wow. Would you like to eat? Baraskin Robbins. Edit that out. I loved it. That is fascinating.

Yeah, how about that? I was a Rocky Road. I just did your joke again. Sorry. Sturb it. So we walked over. There's one a stone's throw from the headgum headquarters. Who would have thought?

From Baskin Robbins to Netflix producer. What a journey. What a journey for Barack Obama. There was a pit stop of president on the way as well. He's president for a little bit. Now he's also Netflix producer. How weird to work like working? at Baskin-Robbins at the start of your career, and then the end of it, uh, work with

Adam Conover. Life, life, life is amazing. Life is a Harold. Life is a Harold, as they say. So we walked over there. They, they, they, we each got, uh, triple scoops because we wanted, less so because we wanted to eat three scoops of ice cream, which is a lot. It's more of a divide and conquer to try to cover more flavors.

Cover more flavors. Because you can sample flavors, but sample a single bite is not the same as like having A scoop. Hey, Mr. Crowell, I read the newest season of Big Mouth. Very funny stuff. I think you can maybe put in a scene where the Pube sing at one point. That's Barack Obama. He's giving notes on Big Mouth.

He's giving notes on Big Mouth. A show which is now off the air. Yeah. He is a producer and he is, I mean, he's with Netflix, right? Doesn't he have a deal at Netflix? Yeah, but I don't think his production company makes Big Mouth. I know they don't make Big Mouth. That was, I knew that that was a joke that he was.

What if Barokok is? Obama calls you. He's like, it didn't appreciate you attributing talking pews to me. You won't be on the next season of the Larry David history, whatever the fuck showed there. Talking pubs was actually a Joe Mandy pitch. We get Mandy. We got to get Kroll in here.

We never had Kroll on the podcast. Yeah. You get Mandy and Krolin. Yeah. Mandy back on the show. We've had Mandy about a few times. So I got the cookie monster, which, look, One of my favorite flavors at Handles is they have their blue monster, which is their version of this.

It's a blue-died vanilla ice cream that's got a few different cookie varieties blended in. At Handels, it is Oreo bits and as well as Chip-A-Hoy bits. Here, it's more of an amalgamation of different cookies, but I thought it was really good. To me, that was the highlight. This was my favorite of the flavors. I got to tell you, I think it, I love Handles. Handles, I think, is better than Baskin-Robbins. Handles, just so you know that.

Definitely better than best. I like Cookie Monster better than I like their blue cookie one. I think that's reasonable. I think handles just uses a better caliber of ingredients. A thousand percent. I just kind of like the cream, the ice cream part of their blue monster more. Sometimes they're like a Snickers bar over some, you know. Totally reasonable.

I like this flavor a lot, so I'm not going to fight you on that. The icing on the cake, look, I love birthday flavor, and this was a good, like, birthday cake version. There's some good chunks in here. The thing they have right now, which is a seasonal item, which I'm generally just like frustrated and baffled by its sudden omnipresence. They have a Dubai chocolate flavor right now. Dubai pistachio chocolate.

This sucked. This was fucking horrible. It was rough. This was the worst. This was the ice cream flavor I just flat out did not enjoy. Have you heard that, have you heard things about Dubai chocolate that it, in a way, we were talking about fronts earlier. But Dubai chocolate was like a thing to get people more comfortable.

with like, like, Dubai, like, no doubt. No doubt it's part of its market. But that's like what the whole push of it is. Right. Is apparently like. It's totally astro-turved. Yeah. Yeah.

Came out of nowhere and people like, oh yeah, Dubai chocolate. This thing exists. What the fuck are you talking about? Have you had Dubai chocolate prior to this? I have, but I feel like I haven't had like really good Dubai chocolate. I've had it from like a bodega where it's, you know, it's like the last thing at the register. And you're like, well, don't I throw this in and see. I'll impulse by this, yeah.

Yeah. But I don't think it was like the, I don't know. It's possible that it all is dusty tasting, but I'm sure somebody makes it good somewhere. I love pistachios. And I like pistachios. I like pistachios, okay. I feel bad about pistachios because my grandma, like, it was green. And you're like, that looks like fun.

And my grandma loved it. My grandpa loved it. And then I never do, I'll eat a pistachio. I'll be happy with it. But pistachio ice cream itself, I don't know. I'm saying from my perspective, I'm bullish about this because I, even though I'm cynical about the Dubai chocolate, I like pistachio.

I like pistachios. I like pistachio ice cream quite a bit. It's not a go-to for me, but when I have it, I'm always like, oh, yeah, I should get this more often. And of course, I like, I like chocolate. You know, I'm a vanilla guy, but I'll fuck with some chocolate. But I just do, I feel like this was like, I don't know what's going to, you said it tasted old, which I totally agree with.

There's something about it was just like, this just tastes off. It tasted. And it was so pistachio for. is the other thing. But like we work in the sweetness of it. You know, you get a pistachio ice cream and it's nice and loaded with sugar. I found the conspiracy theory, by the way, but go ahead first. I was going to say, I think if you start with really good pistachios, then maybe the end product is better.

But these tasted like, this is going to sound like a slur, but it's not old bazzzini. They tasted like old bazinis. Let me tell you, I've called it expired. Back in my Quincy days, I called a few people some old bazinis. Get the fuck out of you, old bazini. The color of the pistachio was like, it was on the brown side. And you want it to be like bright green. Like, like, when you get a Sicilian pistachio, it's like gorgeous, like, oh, Jimmy's getting up for this.

Jimmy agrees. She's going to howl at the moon for my pistachio take. She's, you're a hundred, I didn't even think about this with the association of it, but it, like, is like, it was like an old brown pistachio. like color. Yeah. And that did not, that did not help at all. And I had to eat a lot of that blue monster to get the taste out of my mouth. I did this.

It was so, it tasted so much like a cabinet. Like when you, like when you haven't been to it, like a old, like a musty lakehouse where you left pistachios a lifetime ago. Yes, not a good cabinet. We're talking Dr. What's his name? Caligari. Caligari. The Italian knows it.

I agree. I'm really showing what a dumbass I am in the second half here. You're doing great. Dr. Callagher. Did you watch that at Ithaca? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Boring ass shit. I had to do the same thing, I mean, whereas, like, I had to eat more cookie monster in the afternoon. And thank God I save some, because you want your final bite to be a winner. Absolutely. And that this, I watched my mouth out with that cookie fucking cookie monster, too.

It was super helpful. Because I was like, this is flat out, fuck. I had it. I was like, this is bad. This is fucking disgusting. but I have to have a few more scoops just to confirm. She's laughing, like, thinking of us, like, sucking off the cookie monster or some shit back there. Is that what you're laughing out?

You were all washing your mouth out with cookie monsters immediately. That's what I saw her. Got it. Yeah, that makes sense. The Dubai chocolate conspiracy theory suggests that the viral pistachio and Kadiif, is that how you say? I don't know. Filled chocolate trend was not an organic hit, but rather a manufactured marketing ploy or propaganda campaign to whitewashed United Arab of Emirates' reputation regarding human rights abuses and regional geopolitics.

So that's that's the thing. Who knows if that's real? I don't know if that's real or not. I have no idea. But it is one of those things that was like, have you had Dubai chocolates? And then there was lines at the Americana to get like Dubai chocolates. It's everywhere on Instagram. I don't know.

I'm just naturally suspicious of this. Here's the thing. Did we eat Dubai chocolates on the show or no? I don't think so. No? I have had Dubai Chocoplasts before, though, to your point, they tasted stale to me. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's like something with pistachios or something.

It just, like, didn't hit. In my dreams, when it's like made really well, the crunchy part would stay really crunchy, and the pistachios would be really good to begin with. But just nobody, the stars have not aligned for me yet in that way. I think there's all shitty versions of it out there. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

Especially because it gets so popular and it was like, well, we got to have our Dubai chocolate. It's like, you can speed ran fast food chains, it feels like. Right. You compared it to saracha because it's like a kind of thing. It was just like, well, it's saracha is everywhere. They got saracha jack in the box now. You know what I mean? It just became like this really, this go-to thing that got stale really quick.

Yeah. There's like it's a, it feels like everyone's chasing the trend. Right. I feel like even when we were probably what, like 15 years ago or something, maybe longer than that, it was like avocado was enough to be a trend. Sure. But now. It has come a lot.

I think that we're, you know what I think, I think, I think we're in the trend basement is the issue. Wow, the trend basement. We're in the trend basement. We've, we've had so much. Now people are just like desperately trying to come up with stuff. Like when you're like, you know how you're like, it's like, well, there's Detroit style pizza. And you're like, oh, Detroit. And then, you know, like 10 years ago, I was like Detroit style pizza.

I got to try it. I have to go to, when I was in Detroit. I tried buddies and jets. I was very excited about it. And then it's like, St. Louis has a pizza too. Like, of course, every regional spot has a pizza. But I think eventually it's like everyone's tried so much of the stuff now. The world is way more connected.

You know what I mean? Like everyone kind of knows of all these things. So it's like making up new things or like kind of really niche things that aren't even really real. You know, like that's, I think that's what's happened with the world of food specifically. Doesn't it feel like the Korean corn dog trend had like about six months? And I'm kind of done with this. And I feel like the Ube, like purple, the bright purple color. I feel like had a moment, too, and then I read a story that was like, where Ube is grown is, like, absolutely obliterated from, like, Instagram demand.

Jesus. Oh, my God. You know, I, yeah, it's, we're burning through these things. Yes, yeah, yeah. We're speed running, as Emma said. It's just, like, just going through way too fast. It feels like it's very color dependent, too, like the Ube thing is, like, it's very pretty in your picture. So, do buy chocolate, if it's green and bright, very pretty in your picture.

It is, yeah. It's all very, like, Instagram friendly. Are we still run out of almonds as it's, is it? Almond's still an issue? Remember we were eating so much almonds and almond milk. I think pistachios are actually like an issue too right now. Oh, okay. Because of this, partly because of this thing. I feel like oat milk has taken over almond milk, right?

I like oat milk as a oat milk supremacy over almond milk. I'm very in favor of that. Yeah, I feel like almond milk is now less, but also it's still hugely popular compared to what it was, whatever, 15 or 20 years ago. Why do, I'm to sound like a soy boy. Why do we move on from soy milk? soy milk was fine. There's a surplus of soybeans

and a lot of American farmers grow soybeans and also it's got the most protein of any of these. Because it comes from fucking beans. You know, I like regular milk. Give me that big old cow titty. Regular milk's fine. Yes. That's that. Lactose free milk is my

favorite. Fresh from the utter, I still like it. If you're not trying to have an animal based thing, I think soy milk is great. I think that that works. I do a RFK-style raw milk, personally. He cut off a... This is news today, it will be dated, but he cut off a raccoon's penis.

I did see that. Did you see that? And then it's like, then what? Then what, Robert? What did you do with it? Did he explain why he cut it off or no? I think he's just kind of a sick, twisted man, and he likes chopping up animals and stuff. This is, this is like what, like, why don't you read about school shooter?

So should we be worried about Robert Kraft? I've Robert Kraft. We should be worried. My brain is fucking mushed. I mean, I don't think Robert Kraft is going to. Just conflating these things. Should be worried about RFK is what I was saying. It's true.

Cutting the dick off a fucking raccoon? It is like the animal mutilation you hear about somebody who goes on to be a serial killer. Yeah, it's... 100%. Maybe he had Basket Robbins, Dubai chocolate ice cream in you. needed to cleanse his palate with some raccoon cock. Mitch, you also have the cookie monster. You had what Amelia transcribed as Ricky Road.

I just kept it like that because I like the phrase. No, Ricky Road. Ricky Road sounds like a cool. That's like a cool, yeah, that's a cool, that could be a cool six-month trend or something. He's in the all-male floor of the sex toy store. You know what, Sherlock Crumbs is out of here. Ricky Road is in.

New character. Here's an idea. Ricky rode vanilla ice cream instead of chocolate ice cream. Oh, that's great. Why is it Ricky? I don't know. My brain is a mess. But what else would you put in there?

You got vanilla ice cream and then nuts and marshmallows. Chocolate covered marshmallows. That's the inversion. Vanilla ice cream chocolate covered marshmallows. And then a different nut or no? Yeah, maybe a different nut. What are the... Peanut?

Could be peanut. I know. Sorry. That means you can't happen. It'll be a pecan. Ooh, a pecan's not bad. Yeah. Pecan's pretty good.

I will workshop it. You also got Reese's Peanut Butter, and then you made that into a Sunday with hot fudge, whipped cream, and cherry. I ordered a three scoop Sunday. I'm going to say this. I was like, I really housed my Sunday because I finished it. Here's the truth. I said that, but I didn't want to say this in the store.

I got a tiny ass Sunday. It's small as fuck. So you had three, do you have three scoops? Three scoops? I got three scoops. There must be something different between three scoops. a Sunday because I had a three scoop Sunday and I saw yours and it was three ice cream scoop stacked on top of each other. All three of my scoops were next to each other in the

bowl. Oh. And so I was like, this is like tiny. Because there's had cones in the bowl too? No, that was wise. I don't have your phone. But I'm guessing it's to create enough real estate to put whipped cream and stuff. And like toppings and all I did was hot fudge and whipped cream and then the cherry on top, which I like a little, I like a basic, I like a basic Sunday like that. Give me hot fudge, whipped cream, cherry on top, I'm good to go. I don't need much else. But doesn't that feel like some, you know, late capitalist shit where it's like, oh, I'm paying the upcharge for the Sunday. So I'm going to get less ice cream? What the fuck are you talking about? I'd like to know if there's an upcharge for that, though. Like, if I wonder if you did the math,

if it would be more, I don't know. You had a good, you had a good heaping of, you had a good heaping of ice cream in your three scooper. It was far too much. Way too much ice cream. Yeah. And at a certain point with, I'm going to jump ahead a little bit in my review, which is that at a certain point, these flavors all taste the same. And I found about like three, four bites into each scoop.

I was like, I don't know where I am or what I'm having. And why is the door handle so sticky? You were confused about where you were. I traveled through space and time, having my three math. massive scoops. I felt like I was hurtling on a rock. I get that. There's a lot of sugar. It's a sugar bomb. I mean, immediately. It's too much. It's, if anything, three flavors, the scoops of that size, Ungapachka. You said it. Oh my God. I don't need that much ice cream. And I love ice cream. Well, can I just say something? It's your own fault, too. I mean,

like, you could have gotten just a scoop. You're right. We wanted to try a few different flavors so that there was a bit of a skill issue in ordering it. It was a self-inflicted unkapashka. For sure. But I've never heard you call the four-scoop-sampler from Handel's Ungapachka. Because those are reasonably sized scoops. And also separated. Very well separated. Hey, Tompapa style.

You got to keep them separated. Yeah. Handels is so good. I've certainly been there. They do. I'm careful with that one. I was quoting the offspring, you fucking freaks. This is insane.

You got Jamoka almond fudge. You got, I believe it's called Baseball. nut and then truffle mango. Now I had some of that, or triple mango? Offspring, not Jim Crow reference. I want to be fucking clear. Mitch was referencing 90s punk, not the antebellum cell. Yes.

Mitch thinks certain scoops should sit in the back of the bus. Oh, God. My brain. I like that triple mango. I thought that was fucking good as fuck. And I also, I've had the gym. Jamoka a bunch of times. It's a great, it's a classic flavor.

It's a go-to flavor. Natalie loves this Rojoka. Is another, like a bazini, like it, where you're like, what did you call me? Jamoka also does, yeah, seems like a slurer in a way. What did you think about the? Seems like an Italian. It seems a very Italian. Yes.

Because the baseball nut, the baseball nut, I believe, was. I'm looking it up. It was, it was vanilla with raspberry and then some cashews in it. I figured out what it was, which Emmy was, Emmy was impressed for a second. He cracked the code. is that it's supposed to look like, it's a vanilla ice cream with those, with the raspberry stripes and it's supposed to look like

an actual baseball. It's supposed to look like a baseball. But why are the cashews in there? Because it's baseball nut. Right. And you get nuts at baseball games? And you get nuts at baseball games. I guess.

But it was also like baseball nut. Like it is like it looks like a baseball and then there's some nuts in it. I think that's as far as it goes. Yeah. You don't like it. No, I didn't mind the flavor. I just was like, I don't quite understand the name. It's a visual forward name where you would maybe prefer a flavor forward flavor.

You would want it to taste like you love baseball, as opposed to ice cream that when scooped might look like a baseball. Yes. Depending on the scoop. Yeah, very much depending on the scoop. Here's a question for you. What would be your version of baseball ice cream that? I think for me, like peanuts, peanuts and cracker jack? Hell yes.

That's pretty good. Yeah. That's pretty good. Cracker Jacks might be tough in an ice cream. Would it get too hard or something? I think you could make it. Or you could do like some caramel popcorn, right? Yeah.

The ice cream could be caramel corn flavor. There you go. Yeah. And then it feels like there's room for one more ingredient, but I don't know what that should be. Did you see that, do you know that take me out to the ball? Someone tweeted about this, but take me out to the ballgame. And I, like, I forgot this info is like, it's like a full song.

Yeah, there's like the Star-Spangled banner. There's like more verses. Yeah, yeah. There's like four verses of the Star-Spangled band. It's crazy. I didn't know that. Yeah. Can I say it?

Can I say it? Yeah. Out two. All right. Here we go. I'm getting the lyrics. Okay. Go on.

You can talk more as I look this up. Peanuts, Cracker Jack. And then I feel like, like, like, salted pretzel or something like that. Oh, yeah. Something like that. Another baseball food. Right, right. Because I mean, like so much of what I'm thinking of is like hot dogs and beer, but obviously

that doesn't fit. I wouldn't mind a beer. Like what I want as a whatever, like a person hurtling towards death, I think. I want a salty flavor to cut the sweet. Like a salty anything in there would have been nice. There's a reason. I have the full song.

Are you ready to hear it? Yes. I don't know if I can't. Is it public domain? It must be public domain. Good question. Oh, take me out to the ballgame definitely has to be at this point. You don't have to sing. Watch you guys have to bleep this entire thing. Dementatized on Spotify.

I mean, I don't know if I can sing it because, um, Because I don't think it is to the same tune, but Katie Casey was baseball mad, had the fever and had it bad. Just to root for the hometown crew, every sue Katie Blue. On a Saturday, her young beau, call to see if she'd like to go, to see a show. But Miss Kate said no. I'll tell you what you can do. Take me out to the ball game.

Is that first, is that spoken word? The first word? Like, what's the melody? That's before. That's before. I don't know. Like, it might be like, Katie, Casey was baseball mad, had the fever, it had it bad. But I don't know if it is that. Like, it seems like the chorus is just to the tune of taking me out to the ballgame.

I feel like the other part is like, I don't know if it's spoken word, but I think it might be sung differently. And then there's, there is more to it. Just buy me some penis and cracker, cracker jacks. Every Sue can. Katie Blue, what the fuck does that mean? Yeah. Every Sue? Every SOU.

Every Sue Katie Blue on a Saturday. Oh, that's chilly as a Sue. Oh, okay. It's, sorry. Katie Casey saw all the games, knew the players by their first names, told the umpire he was wrong all along, good and strong. When the score was just two to two, Katie Casey knew what to do, just to cheer up the boy she knew. She made the gang sing the song. And that's, that's, and then it's the course again.

but apparently the song was a feminist anthem about a woman wanting to go see a baseball game rather than go on a date to a show. And from 1908. Wait, that's kind of amazing because I feel like big, huge packs of totally homophobic men love singing this. That's great. This was before women's suffrage too. 1908 it was written. So how about that? Oh, wow.

Really ahead of its time. I looked up as Sue is a former French coin of low value. so in slang terminology, it typically means a very small amount of money. So she blew every sue means she blew all her money. Her meager amount of the meager funds she had. Yeah. Okay. I like that.

That's fun. What a nice bit of context? Sometimes you learn something from the Toe Boys podcast. Katie, what's her name? Katie, what was it? Katie. Katie Codwell? I'm in love.

You were just looking at it. Katie Casey. Katie Casey. Mighty Casey at the bat, too. A lot of Casey's in the baseball. Wow. How about that? But anyways, that was a nice little detour.

was bullshit. We can edit all that out. No, no, it makes sense. She'd need someone to buy her the peanuts and and cracker jacks now. This all does really add up. Yeah, yes, it makes sense. She has no sous. Soos is, there's some old-timey slang like that that would be fun to bring back. Relax. I don't, it sounds like, I don't want to bring back old words. Let's just keep moving on.

Emma, you got a strawberry shake. I did. How was that? It was pretty good. It was not as strawberry forward as I would have liked. It was very just like a cold drink, but it wasn't bad. And, Amelia, you down with MCC? I'm down with MCC. Yeah, you know. Yeah, you know me. You've mint chocolate chip. You got that in a cone, was it? Yeah. How was it? I had like, like, a third of it, and then I gave the rest to a homeless guy. Yeah, there's a guy that

the rest of your ice cream? Yeah, there's a guy that came up and asked if we could buy him a soda and Amelia's like, do you want this ice cream cone? And then I actually gave him the rest of my shake too. I was like, do you want this? He was like, yeah, anything cold. And I was like, take it, my man. Hey, all right. That's nice that worked out. That's nice. Was it a waffle cone? What kind of gun was it? It was a wafer cone.

It was a way for cone. Yeah, like a plain cone. So I got a, so mine was a, I got a waffle cone bowl, and this was touched on. My issue with the, with the cone bowls, they're always pre-made and they always taste stale. I was like, how a little bit of this, like, this sucks. And I get that it's, it's less messy, especially for a kid to eat. But it's like, give me the fucking cone. Why do I bother with this cone bowl?

You, you ask for it. Well, yeah, I did that. I did that again, I know, but I'm just saying, like, it's one of those things I get there, and then every time I get it, and every time I get it, I was like, it's just got a fucking cone. Why did I bother with this? OPP is a nasty little song, isn't it? Yeah.

You down with OPP? It's a nasty little nasty. It is a little nasty. But I just looked it up, and there's actually lyrics before that part of the song. Oh, that's wild. Katie Casey was baseball mad. Wow, Katie Casey really gets around. Noddy by nature.

were thinking about Katie Casey and just edit it down. Did Jimmy like her pup cup? Jimmy loved her puff cups. Oh, I was cute. I took a video we can post it of her eating it and she looks so serious and like locked in on her pup cup. Is it just whipped cream? It's literally just a little cup with whipped cream. That's so sweet.

She loves whipped cream. And we also got some, a few more things after we'd eaten all this shit. We got a lava collata shake, a mango not a shake. So we got a couple fruity options. And then we also got a wild and reckless sherbet. Amelie and I were carrying those shakes on the walk home. They were cold. Cold as hell.

My favorite thing is that the name, you go, like the wild and reckless sherbet, one scoop. A very modest amount of the reckless sherbet. Which, I agree with you, not that reckless. It wasn't that wild, but it was. Pretty good. It was tasty. It was a comfortable and familiar sherbet.

Yeah, I enjoyed it. Sherbert. Sherbert. Yeah, there's honestly nothing wild and reckless about it. what would a wild and reckless sherbet be? I think it would be like some unconventional flavors. Yeah. Like it would be like, you know, mustard and mayonnaise.

Like, what the fuck is going on here? This is wild and reckless. Or it has like pop rocks in it or something insane. That'd be fun. Yeah, you might as well make it edible. Instead of fucking mayo and mustard ice cream. I'm saying it would be like, that would be the kind of dare flavor you'd see is like we have this fucking crazy fucked up. That's the kind of thing like salt and straw would do for like a promotion is we got this

fucked up ice cream that we know people are going to hate, but they're going to try it out of Grim Curiosity. I got a new candy area. Nerds gummy clusters. Juicy nerds gummy clusters. People love these juicy nerds gummy clusters. The juicy nerds gummy clusters are fucking good as hell. I think now we have had a bag of those at home.

Oh, they're good as hell. They're good as hell. You should try them. But like something like that. It wasn't that wild and reckless, but it was the best thing we had and we had to carry those the whole walk home. Can we talk about the tahin? Yes. I got a whole.

The what's the? The mango nada. You guys want to talk about how cold the drinks were when we brought them home? I feel the audience might be aware of the temperature of things from Baskin-Robbins. Amelia was trying to be like, I was like, these are fucking cold because I was carrying them. And she's like, they're no big deal. And then I saw her swapping it back and forth between the hands. It was a cold.

There were some cold shakes. You took one and said, I could hold this forever. Yeah. I think you said I could hold this for a thousand years. Is that what you said? Something like that. And then why you said... It's so romantic.

All right, we got to talk about the teherne, which you were excited about. Yes. Which was in the shake. It was like a, it was a few different tropical flavors with some tahine. It was very mango forward, but it was also very taheen forward. I can tell you a lot of fun until you get a tahine vein and then you were just fucking getting all tahin. That's like, my first sip was just straight Taheen. I wish I'd, I, I, a great clash song.

I wish I had had that sip, the straight to heen. I wanted something salty so bad. I was, I was really ready for that drink. To me, I, I didn't love, I, I, I think that that, the mango one tasted good and it, like, gives some sort of approximation to having, like, mango with tahine and, and whatever. Yeah. But, but I, both of the. those I could have tossed in the trash immediately.

I love the mangoato. I like the mango notta. I thought that was a lot of fun. And I actually did, you get, you get the, like, it was a sort of thing, yes, you could end up with a bad sip. But if you get that sweet spot sip where you're getting a little bit of sweet and a little bit of salt and just, just a touch of the heat, I thought it was delightful. The lava collada, I found repulsive.

That was disgusting. I mean, put it best, which was. Oh, it needs rum. It needs to be full of booze. It's like so, so, like, Bath and Body Works, like, artificial sweet. Yeah. Bath and Body Works is a great way to describe it. Just.

Tasted like Bath and Body Works smells. Yes. But also, why were the drinks so, like, tropical? It's, it is only April, you know what I mean? They seem like very summer drinks or something. It just, it didn't. That's a great question. Maybe it's spring break to them.

That's a spring break. That could be what it is, honestly. And maybe the adding booze is a, you know, it's implaus. Yeah, yeah, sure, right. In spring break. There's kind of a wink there. They assume you're going to have, you're going to be in a wet t-shirt having these drinks. With the doughboys, we're always kind of in wet t-shirts.

But also it's just funny to me, be like, let's grab some booze and hit up Baskin-Robbins. Yeah, you wouldn't think of that. That's true. But now maybe people will. What if we send a lot of, uh, heavy drinkers to Baskin-Robbins. I thought that I wondered if I would even like it with booze, but it would have been a much better drink. But I thought both of the, I thought they were both kind of, the mango lot of tasted better, but it just was whatever. Both of them were not good.

They got the wet sheet t-shirt contest. Are they ever like a wet boxer short contest for the fellas? So you can catch some print. Yeah, you can go up there, catch some print. That'd be a lot of fun. I feel like throwing water onto like a dick is not going to help. Like I'm saying like. It's got to be like warm water.

It's got to be warm water. All right, so you get like boiling pots of water. Not boiling. I'm not saying boiling. I'm going to scald people's dicks and balls. I'm saying like you kind of get some like, it's like a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice temperature.

It's like what would be in a hot tub? Bath water. Yeah, it's like bath water. All right, so 100 degree temperature water. It could be, like, here's the thing. Like people can be like, you can test it first. So you can get, put your foot in it. I think it would have to be 98.

It's body temperature. It has to be 98.5 or above to not cause shrinkage and even just 98. I think it would have to be 99 to 100 degrees. I think you chub up a little bit first just to mitigate any shrinkage that could happen. The wet t-shirt contest don't get to chub up a little bit first? Yeah, they do. What's the chub-up version of the wet t-shirt contest? You're just like flicking your nipples.

I think you're doing that. I think they're little tweaking. That happens with the water. What are you talking about? I don't know. I think they're getting a little warmed up there too. I think you need hot water. I think you need like 100 to 103.

I think... Okay, so you get hot water, but like warm water. It's not going to burn you. And they're wearing white underwear. Yeah, I think you'd be wearing white underwear. Tidy Whitties for everybody. It could be tidy wights. I think Amelia is actually Googling it.

Like a wet, a wet, a wet, uh, tidy whitties contest. I don't, I, I, I, I don't know if anyone thinks that sounds fun. I think it could be fun. It depends on this, it depends on circumstance. There's a Wikipedia page for wet boxer contest. Oh, hell yeah. Weiger just made it. I don't, I don't know.

How the fuck did you do that? The water is used, that's used as warm. instead of cold. There you go. We reverse engineered the real thing. Yeah. They're held in gay bars. Yes.

Oh, that's fun. Okay. That makes sense. That makes sense. Did they do them at half marathons? Could be in my dad, enter. Oh, there's also a wet gray sweatpants contest. So, like, no boxer's gray sweatpants.

Why gray sweatpants? I don't know. I think that's a thing. There's like a thing with women and men and gray sweatpants. With no boxers. Can I do absolute sidebar? about gray sweatpants. One thing I've discovered since I have come back to L.A.

is that on DoorDash, you can have old Navy delivered to you. Yeah, you can. You can. You can get closed. Oh, you knew this already. I knew this because Adam Wu, Wu Tang, got some jeans delivered. He got jeans delivered. He did.

I was like, under what circumstances, what I need sweatpants brought to me where I am? And I guess you're in one of these contests or you, like, shit your pants at work or something. Oh, I didn't think about that. If you shoot your pants at work, yeah, that's salvation. I guess that is if there's no nurse's office I ripped my pants at Foxwoods And Emma came and delivered

Emma bought me a new pair of pants And brought it to my COVID riddled room Me and Carl were in the Levi store at Foxwood's being like Do you have? And then we were fighting with you about 42 by 30 or whatever the fucking were And you were like a 30 inch in seam And I was like my in team's 33.

There's no way you're a 30 inch in seam And then the pants I bought them were way too long Do you get me 30-2s? I think I get you 32s. Yeah. You wear your pants a little bit lower. I wear my pants low. But I think also you maybe might be proportionate like me where I'm like, I'm a little more torso than leg, which I wish I had more wingspan as well, but I'm not.

I don't have that that sort of me. I wear my jeans low. I think that's a big part of it. I go I go 40 by 30 maybe now. I don't know. 38 or 40 by 30? Yeah. And once they throw that warm water at you, they get way lower.

I really sitting on your butt. I guess he's some footage in one of these wet... I had some... Hold on. She's been watching it. Okay. These are boxer shorts.

But I'm curious about the gray sweatpants contest. Like, because what does that actually look like in practice? I don't know. I think they all go to Baskin-Robbins for those. I knew as soon as you brought this up, this would just end with me and you for dough boys at a fucking wet boxer contest or something. I'm sure that's what's going to happen.

We're judging. Sweatpants just sounds so uncomfortable to keep wearing. That's so gross. Like wet jeans. Yeah. Ugh. Yeah. Let's go to one.

I mean, it looked very fun when you showed out. They looked like they were having a blast. They were having a blast. I know. It made me feel sad that we were here. I'm like, I see why I haven't been invited. That's way more fun than I have. We should get to our final thoughts on Baskin Robbins, unless we missed anything.

I feel like we've covered all the stuff we've talked about, right? I went to Carlos and Charlie's and Aruba. when I was a boy. Okay. And they threw water on your bus face. I mean, I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't trying to have this happen, but they were like, wet t-shirt, and they did stuff like that. And then I got a mug throwing up my head.

Do you know this? So you were at a wet t-shirt kind of else, because they've never seen one of these. I was, we were in there one night when there was a wet t-shirt contest. It's not the reason we went to the bar. And they were, like, spraying ladies with their. Yeah, yeah. I think they just like randomly like, we're going to have one right now. And then they'd like spray two, like three ladies or whatever.

Okay. But I was in there. And then also that's where I got the mug thrown at my head. And then I was like a year later at college, I was like, it's scabbing up. And then glass fell out of my head. Mitch, we've talked about this before. I was with you backstage at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. This was, God, it would have been 15 years ago.

Yeah. And one of the last pieces of glass. You go, a piece of glass just came out of my head. You just say this to me. I'm like, I don't have any context for this. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And you were like, let's do a podcast together. Yeah.

And then you were like, you being you, you always give like the trickle out the information. It was like, it was like, it was a mug. I was like, what? It was a mug? And then you eventually explain it, you gave me this story, which is insane. Oh, yeah, someone threw a mug at my head. It was just a random person. You got glassed like in train spotting.

I got glassed. I was with the Quincy guys and then there were some near-do-wells out front. Yeah. And then someone said something. I won't say which friend they said at you because the friend, like, regret. it now and like regrets getting like involved and people don't know I I look big so I think they think that I'm like a big monster but I your your friend said I'm voting for Obama the erubins there there are guys who are like and this actually this is also where the woman went

missing at that Carlos and Charlie. Oh wow. Jordan Vanders lute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same bar. Wow. And I walked over to be like, oh no, I'm going to try to get my friends like out of this situation and I was like probably like 20 feet away so from where I am to like maybe like that

you know like the mirror back there like like or maybe that door a guy so you made for people in listening to this and it's 15 feet 20 feet yeah that feels like it's like it's just using the mostly empty space and and head gum as a reference front yeah the head gum front but a guy just like like took and it was like a beer mug and it had the glass bottom and And he threw it. And luckily I was wearing a hat because I would have gotten so fucked up. But I hit my head like a baseball, broke my head open, then shattered on my head. And I took my hat off and just blood started running down my face.

Oh my God. Because I think he thought I was like coming over to be like when I was in reality being like, let's get the hell out of here. Because they were like arguing. And they punched, you know, they punched my friend Joe, split his Joe Tormey. Oh, no. Split like, like, gave him like a Joker smile. They like split his lip open. and I went to Carlos and Charlies

and I like remember going up and there was all people out on the patio now like seeing what the commotion was about and I was like I walked up and everyone went ooh and I was like oh no this is so bad and I was like can I come in

they're like no no one can come in like after a fight and I was like my head is all busted up and we end and my friend Kelly Rose is like are you gonna die and I was like how bad is this and then me and my friend Joe went to the Arubin Hospital and they like poured iodine in my head and then just sewed it up and a year later I was like it's scabbing up again because I still have a start you can kind of see the scar a little bit you see the scar on my head yeah yeah yeah it's right here you can see so my my head started to be behind your hairline a little bit it's behind my hair line and also it's like more like a like a widow's peak I don't I don't like to show it off but but I was like I started like being like it's like scabbing up again weird what's going on I was rumbing it and then like sea glass fell out of it. And then it happened. That was probably the last time it ever happened,

like, 15 years ago. So, like, I was, you know, like late 20s when I, like, because it came out like, like, like, three or four pieces of glass came out of my head eventually. I feel like you could have sued. Like, there are lots of people you could have sued in this story. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't. I, I, I, I, I just, I don't know what. But, you know, it was like one of those things of like, oh, God, I got. And also like, I was just like, my mom's going to kill me. You know what I mean? That's all I was thinking. You're, like, a dumb kid. at that point.

You're just like, well, I don't know how I ended up a situation. Yeah, so I grew into a dumb man. You didn't get to see who won the wet t-shirt contest. I didn't, I never even got to see. Who of the three women? Yeah. If I had known there could be, if you have one of three chances, like, we could enter. Right?

It's like, the odds are okay. I still want to get into that wet boxers contest. One in three, I don't think I'm going to do it. But, uh, actually, I'll never. enter a wet boxer contest. I can think I can say that safely. Yeah, I mean, probably the odds are low for me as well. It seems like

you're a little bit... I don't know. I think you should sue Carlos and Charlie. Clearly not a great bar if that's also where the, you know, Joron VanderSluet

kidnapped that poor woman. Jesus. Anyways, don't go to Carlos and Charlie's in Aruba. Hey, buddy, support for today's episode comes from Square, the system powering like, half the places I go, frankly. If you ever tapped a pay and thought, whoa, that was fast, it was probably Square. Whether you're selling lattes, cutting hair, detailing cars, or running a design studio,

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Wow. All you got to do is go to helixleep.com slash doughboys for 20% off. That's Helixleep.com slash doughboys for 20% off sitewide. Helixleep.com slash doughboys. All right, let's go to our final thoughts on Baskin-Robbins. So, I mean, you've done the podcast before you know how this works. We'll each go around. We'll give a closing argument, if you will, on today's chain.

You've told this on the podcast a few times. Well, what the fuck? We only have so many stories, Mitch. We've been to this podcast for 10 fucking years. What are you going from us? I haven't heard that story. Probably before your time. Pre-skids.

Yeah. All right, bitch is yawning. We got to get, we gotta, we gotta, we gotta, we gotta, what about, what about, that's, that's your issue with a wet boxer contest is what if they throw water and you need to see a big old skid mark on the back? I'm not gonna wear dirty underwear. I don't have, what have happened to you over the course of the day? I don't get, I don't, I don't, it doesn't have any underwear.

I'm not a fucking animal. I don't know, I don't know about that. I don't get skid marks either to be clear. I'm not a fucking child. But someone might. Someone might. Did you ever have, this is going down memory lanes with Skidmark. You ever hear that expression, right in the Hershey Highway?

That's a lot of fun. Because that also sounds like it could be fun. It sounds like it could be fun, but it's an actual... Like, Ryan the Hershey Highway, like a chocolate highway? That sounds fun. Wee. It sounds like a Mario Kart level, but no. Around the corner, fudge is made?

I like that one quite a bit. Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, fudge is made. Yeah, it's really fun. Which is helpful for young kids, I feel like. You just know what orifice dispenses what fluid. Yeah, yeah. It's useful. But then later on, you get cum enters the equation and then everything scrambled.

Did they ever add anything on for cum or no? Do they ever, to the song, do they ever add to the song or no? They said, milk, milk, milk, lemonade, round the corner, fudge is made. Oh, yeah, we forgot about cum. The guy who made that song is like George Lucas, he released that later. He did like a new version with the cum part in it. It's like the Take Me Out to the Ball Game song. There's an extra verse that people don't know about.

Emmy, we'll each say our closing argument on Baskin-Robbins and give it a score from zero to five forks. You are our guest. Your thought your fork score. I have some nostalgic, like, associations with Baskin-Robbins. But in the present, as a grown adult, there's maybe another ice cream I would choose, or like many other ice cream places I would choose. Um, I'm, ah, I, Jumoka, nut fudge, we didn't discuss that much, but is a good flavor. It's a good flavor. Um, and there was a weird sheet tray of chocolate covered bananas that were not on the menu.

At all. And they looked homemade and you, you said, you thought that they were refrigerated dildos. That's what they looked like. Oh, I think we all thought they were refrigerated dildos. Yes, we all thought they were refrigerated dildos. And we thought they might be good for our wet boxer contest. Yeah. Stuff that bad boy down there for the webbed. Boxer Contest.

I think some of the cakes look to... But then the chocolate is going to make you look like you have a skid mark. That could happen too. That's a huge issue.

Yeah, you don't want to go to the wet boxer contest and look like you're shitting from your dick in front of everyone. At first, they're like, whoa, that white guy is a huge black dick. I'm like, wait a minute, he's got shit all over his underwear.

Four forks. That's for that guy. From a different guy. Me for Baskin Robbins. 2.5. 2.5 forks. Oh, my God. Go ahead, Spoon, man.

Man, there is times where I was eating this Baskin Robbins and I was having such a blast. It is shittier ice cream, but I do think that that should exist in the world. I would never say we should exterminate Baskin Robbins. I don't want I really liked my Sunday I was having a good time with it. It's basic. It's not as good but my flavors were good.

I really liked the cookie monster. I had that Reese's peanut butter cup. I thought that was good. And the Rocky Road was decent. Here's the here's where I'm going to take it down where it doesn't get for for her. It was a little bit freezer burned. I do think Baskin Robbins is just like such an old school place.

It's affordable. I'll say that. It is for comparatively compared to Jenny's or whatever. I like jenny's. but there's something nostalgic to me, and I didn't even grow up with Baskin Robbins, but there's something nostalgic about that damn. I mean, I did, there was one nearby,

but I didn't go to Baskin Robbins often. It's not as much of a New England thing, right, Emma? It's like, Friendlies and Brigham's were more it growing up or whatever. And I love, and like I hold those in higher regard, but I still really liked this, and I think I'm going to go 3.5 spoons. 3.5 spoons.

Wow, okay. I did a spoon. And one spoon equals one fork. We know that ratio. Here's what I'm going to say. I do have nostalgia for Baskin-Robbins. I did grow up with Baskin-Robbins. This was kind of my go-to mainstream ice cream parlor,

the chain ice cream parlor of choice for the Weiger family. There was a daughery ice flavor that you pointed out. I remember it was like it hit me like a memory. It was like, oh yeah, my mom, my mom used to love that flavor. My mom would consistently get, would consistently get the dachery ice. I was a big peanut butter chocolate guy as a kid. I also love their chocolate, their chocolate chip. You know, that was when I could eat peanuts.

I love their chocolate chip. I love their mint chocolate chip. I like, they have the little tiny chips. Wait, when you can eat peanuts? Chocolate chip. Oh, is there peanuts? No, no, peanut butter chocolate. Oh, sorry.

That's a flavor as a reference. Referencing. They have like these coffee grind, like they're like little like chips. Like they're really, really blended. And I really like that about it because I think you get a lot of texture. Yes. It's really fun. I think all those flavors are well executed.

Love cookie monster. Love icing on the cake. Dubai chocolate, fuck out of here. Oh, it sucks. I need that shit. It's awful. And also, I just fucking hate, like, like, again, maybe it's not to whitewash Dubai, but if maybe that's not its intended purpose, but that's what it's doing, this fucking

desert megalopolis that should not exist, you know, where like, it's all these, like, it's the most wasteful possible way to construct a city. Everything's, like, you know, all connected with roads. It's, it's, and it's, um, instead of public transit and everything's built with, like, slave labor from like a South Asian and sub-Saharan African immigrants who are whose passports are confiscated and wages are garnished. It's a fucking hellhole. It should not exist.

It's symbolic of the late capitalist opulence that is just, you know, just further exacerbating the wealth divide that's that's ruining most of the country, most of the world. And so just I hate Dubai. It pisses me off. Fuck that place. the doughboys will go there if you give us enough money. If there's a Dubai comedy festival that wants to pay us money, we will go there.

And headgum will move its fronts there. Headgum will move its headquarters to Dubai at some point. So, you know, we will compromise our values in that way. But overall, I hate it. And I hate the Dubai chocolate trend for that reason. That said, I like Baskin-Robbins. But there's no reason I would go there except for content these days. Or if they had a fun flavor, which I guess would also be for content probably.

make a fucking video about it. So for that reason, I think I'm in the handholding club with Demi Blotnik. I'm gonna go two forks, two times. I think it's a two and a half forker. I think it's right in the middle, right in the middle of that bell car.

I went high. All right, that's fair. All right, that was our view. Sundays, I guess. The Sunday was a little bit more fun. It was just the hot fudge and the whipped cream. I was having a little bit more fun. And it was less ice cream.

I mean, it was, you guys didn't finish yours anyways, but it was like kind of perfect. Sorry. I liked it. You guys, what would you say four-forks score? I'd probably go like two and a half forks. It was an okay milkshake, but if I'm craving like a strawberry milkshake like that,

it's not, I'm not going to Baskin Robbins. I'm going to go to like handles or I'm going to make one at home or something else. I've got handles like nine times out of ten. The other time I'd go to like Salt and Star or Jenny's or something. I mean, it's just like, why would I fucking bother at Bastian Robbins to this point? In-Anout milkshake. And that's a different thing. Like you get like a fast food shake.

Right. Like a Wendy's Frosty might scratch the same. as anything we had. And it'll probably be cheaper. Yes. Am, how about you? I think I'm in the handholding club, too. I would give it a 2.5 spoons.

The MCC was worse than what you would get at like a Breyer's. Oh, that's, that's damning. Yeah. When the chips being that small, you can't do your preferred method of spitting them back in the bowl. Yeah, but I don't mind the ground up chips. I do like that. It's almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If the ice cream's not very good and you don't go through a lot of it, then it's freezer burned and gets worse.

Right. You need to be moving a lot of that. And I don't know if there are enough, like, Little League teams around here to keep that. Especially in Silver Lake with like Salt and Strauss right there. There's a Jenny's over in Los Felis. You got a lot of options. I feel like in a lot of America, too, it's just like they're upscale ice cream parlors now. And also there's just like better ice cream at your, you can get McConnell's at the grocery store.

Or Ben and Jerry's. I take Ben and Jerry's over Baskin'Rob. I would take Ben and Jerry's over with Baskin'Rob was 100%. But that said, these... You know what? You can miss me. Three spoons. I'm moving it down. Wow. We got good service there.

And the one person working there by herself, which it was doing a great show. One jacked arm. Sorry, Jimmy. Oh, yeah, what is Jimmy's review? Jimmy probably would say five spoons because she freaking loves whipped cream. Oh. Mike's, Amelia brought up spitting out chips, but sometimes you do the opposite of spitting out chips. That's right, Mitch.

We got a bunch of chips, and we're going to eat them all. It's time for chips inhale, rest chew rangers. Hit it, Emma. Wow. There's no bag too big, no bag too small. When you've got chips, just call. Chichia, chips inhale. Restu Rangers, chichin'h, chips inhale.

Every flavor, you know it never fails when flutes involved. Sometimes there's chips. We'll eat them all. Chips inhale. You know it never fails when we're involved. Somehow there's chips. We'll eat them all. That's the lyrics.

I thought it was off book. I wasn't. I got too cocky. We've done this for a decade. We haven't done this segment for a decade. I think I knew the words to it. You know the chorus of Chips and Hale? You know it never fails when we're involved.

Somehow there's chips. Can I try to sing it off the top of my head? Yeah, please go for it. Katie Casey was. All right, here we go. Let's eat some of these ketchup chips wise. So our buddy Tyler. a 7 a.m. Detroit guy, the super fan who waited in line starting at 7 a.m.

so he could be the first person in the theater at our Detroit show a few years back. Did not have to show up at 7 a. Not have to show up at 7 a.m. No. But he sent us a lovely, like a, like a, like a, we appreciate it. A mini fridge-sized box full of treats. It was absolutely over the top. But that included in that this, this massive bundle of gifts and snacks was Cleveland ketchup.

Cleveland Cetchup Company, sorry, and these are ketchup flavored chips, there's bacon and bourbon ketchup, there's classic ketchup, and there is ghost pepper ketchup, which I might like because I'm a bit of heat seeker. I say we start with a classic ketchup. I agree with that, Likes. I'm going to take a couple of these and pass them to my left.

Ooh, you almost spilled those chips. Did I? They're teetering. Oh, boy. Now, do you like ketchup chips? I like ketchup chips. I like the Canadian ketchup chips. I like Canadian ketchup chips. I actually have not had like an American version of it. And he's thinking on these. Okay, okay.

No, I do like Lays ketchup chips better than these. Should we move on? So these are a ruffle chip. These are a ruffle chip. I don't think these are bad. How do you feel? The thick ribbed chips. I like these.

I mean, like, I think they're solid. You say thick ribbed chips? Yeah, they're like a thick ribbing to them. It sounds like your, it sounds condom-esque. I wasn't trying to be condom-y. Well, it was. It was. Would you wear a condom in a,

a in a wet boxer short contest. I think it would be, that's probably the safest way to enter one. Okay. Because then you're getting more of a, like, a general outline of your hall. I mean, it would be so funny for someone to be like, I think that guy's like fucking wearing a condo.

Is he soft wearing a condo? What's going on? All right, this is the bacon and bourbon varietal. Wow. Deus has thoughts. They're sweeter than I expected. Yes, that was my first thought, too. Yeah.

I was expecting, like, ketchup tang. and instead it's sweet. I can fuck with these. Absolutely. Okay. That's funny because I never like bacon as a flavor in chips. Bacon and bourbon, maybe that's the secret. There's a little sweet there, too.

There's a smoky thing happening with those. It's like a smoky sweet, yeah. That's fun. That is fun. That's really fun. I like that quite a bit. I do not like bacon flavored. Yeah.

And this is maybe like one of the only, chip flavor, like bacon-flavored chips I've ever kind of enjoyed. Again, to Emmy's point, it's more of a smoky sort of quality to it than that that sciencey bacon flavor you get. I'm moving on the ghost pepper ketchup. Where are you on spicy? I love it. Yeah, me too.

Okay. I can fuck with those too, I'm with you. Hmm. Deeds doesn't burn to him. There it is. I got it. What number alarm are you talking here? One alarm, two alarm, all the way to five alarm.

I think we might look at it be a 3.5 alarmer right now. Really? Let me have another chip or two. These bacon barbecue ones just kind of taste like a barbecue chip. Yeah, they're like a really good barbecue chip. This takes a second to settle them. Once it starts going, it's like, oh, yeah, this thing is got some heat. It's got some heat.

It's got some heat. There's a lot of times you see ghost pepper and it's like fucking whatever. You're just using, this is not like the spiciest thing I've ever had. And this isn't either, but it's like this is decently spicy. But I guess it does have a ghostly way of sort of apparating after you've eaten. Right. There it is. That's your spicy sound.

That's my, yeah, it's turning me into a damn owl. These things are fucking hot. A hooter. Ooh. His head rotates 360 degrees. It's terrifying. Yeah, that's some bird to it. You know what I, I got to say.

Yeah. Ghostbiper one's maybe my favorite. Really? I like the They're fucking, they are, that's good spice for chip. It's good spice. It's good spice. Wise, I agree with you.

That is like a 3.5. Yeah, it's decently spicy. I like these all quite a bit. I think the ketchup, the classic ketchup, surprisingly is my least favorite. Agreed. Again, also surprisingly, bacon and bourbon my number one. Mine too. And then I think probably the, the, the middle point would be the ghost peppers, which were good.

Good and decently spicy. You're feeling that burn. People are owling out back there. It does take a minute. You're like, these are great. They're not too spicy. And then it's just like all at once. Yeah, it has a delayed quality.

Yeah. All snacks, though. Yeah. God bless them for putting some heat in there. Yeah. What is your ranking, Mitch? Ghost pepper one. I would go, I would maybe, I, here's the thing.

I could eat the ghost pepper ones more for flavor, but for a heat, I don't know if I could eat them that long. So, like, them and the bacon burger ones, I think are both good. Yeah, and probably very close. I maybe give the Ghost Pepper Wands a slight edge. Wow. Bacon, bourbon, ketchup. Pretty low-last. Like, I don't think they're bad, bad chips, but they are just...

I've had better ketchup chips. Yeah, I've had better catches. It's just not my favorite. The ketchup chip company, you'd maybe want something a little bit better for your baseline. I would say these are the best chips from Cleveland that I've had. Pretty good. Yeah, there's only one in this category, but... Suck it, Cincinnati.

Is your ranking, is you ranking bacon bourbon number one? Bacon bourbon number one. And then what would you have second? Ghost pepper. So we're on the same page. I'd give them all snacks, a very, very, very slight snack to the ketchup chips. Yeah, I agree. That's the, that's the slightest snack.

Guess what? Those ghost pepper chips are turning this into a dough boy's wet t-shirt concert. I'm fucking sweating over it. They got some heat. They do. What are you guys munching on now? Have you gone back to the bacon? I went back to bacon bourbon for a second.

Same ranking. Same ranking as the two of you. Yeah, same ranking. I went back to bacon, bourbon for a second, and then I just went for ghost pepper again. Everyone knows. They're kind of fun to go back and forth between. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't mind doing a go-between.

Let's bring these back. Let's run it back. Which one of these you think would burn your eyes the most if you touched. Do you make these two into a bowl together maybe? Oh, that feels fun. You have some fun? Oh, yeah, definitely do not. This is why I wear a condom at all times,

because if you get, if you're touching ghost peppers. Yeah, you don't want to be touching your hog. You don't want to be touching your hog. You don't want to be jacking off at any point. You're not going to wash your hands first. No, of course not. I, um, I,

I, I, I am more of a heatseeker than you are. Whoa. Mitch. What are you talking about? Why would you say that? Because I like the,

the spicy one more. When we did the hot ones challenge, I didn't have a sip of water or milk the entire time. Yeah, wanted to prove some point. I think I can handle heat peters you can, baby. I don't think that's true. I think you need to get out of the kitchen because I don't think you can stand the heat.

All right, well, you just... All right, we're going to have a spice off. Yeah, you just signed your own death warrant because I'm going to outspice the fuck out of you. Not right now, but we're going to do a contest. We're going to do a spice off. We're going to make this into content. And then we're going to do a follow-up the next day about your holes. I mean, I love this because also...

Your holes. It would be very... How much glass comes out of his head. I'm eating spicy stuff and glass is just like just moving out of my head and falling to the ground. I like that the idea of that we try spice off when we both die. You like that?

We just both have, like, it's a funniest way for us to die. It's a spice off, and then we just both have ulcers and die or whatever. And you know what? We need someone to investigate that. Perhaps a Benoit blonde. Benoit spice. Fuck, Benoit spice is good. No, no, it's not.

We'll work on it. We'll figure it out. He's the sixth spice girl. What about Sherlock Spice? Sherlock Spice is good. I do like Benoit Spice because we've mined the Sherlock. We'll work on it. We'll figure out a song.

Hey, just like a restaurant about your feedback. Let's open to the feedback. And thanks, Tyler. That was very nice to send these. Let's open to the feedback. Today's email is from Ben. Ben writes, you have to stop eating. Here's the scenario.

You have to stop eating one food group out of the class. Classic food pyramid, grains, vegetables, fruits, meat, dairy, and sweets forever. It still exists. You just can't eat it. What do you choose? If you already can't eat one group like dairy because you're lactose intolerant, then pick a second group to never eat again. Wow. This also sounded like, it sounded like, it was like, it was like, you have to stop eating.

Like, it was like. That's how I read it. Yeah. I thought it was like someone just looking out for us. You have to stop eating and send it. Brains, vegetables, fruits, meat, dairy, and sweets. Mitch, are you picking vegetables or fruits? Why, you're not wrong.

It would be one of those two. Is fats not on there or sweets? Sweets is one of them, yeah. Oh, man, sweets is so, you can never have like a soda ever again. That's like such a bummer. Or ice cream or whatever. I'm guessing fruits could make up for some lack of sweets. There you go, yeah.

Nature's candy. Yeah. Yeah, like those fucking. strawberries we had from Publix were good as fuck. I mean, that's like a dessert quality strawberry. See you later, veggies. Bye. No potatoes, no corn?

Oh, whikes. Me Irish heart. I guess you could eat potatoes because, no, those are, they would be under vegetables, not grains. So yeah, even though they're starch. I can't give up bread. I could never give up bread. No cabbage?

No onions? No garlic? No onions and garlic? That's tough. That's real tough. God, is it sweets? That sucks. It might be sweets.

You can never have a Coke zero, I guess, counts, right? Does fake sugar count? If meat and dairy were broken into different, I think it does. I'd probably be under sweets. If meat and fish, rather, were broken into different categories, then it would probably pick meat and keep fish. But because meat also includes fish, I was like, fuck, I kind of need it. I would be so, oh man, giving up, I was just about to say, like, maybe I would give that up of all the proteins, but I don't know I could.

When I, when I didn't eat any meat at all for a year, I had my no meat chill I eat, I missed, I missed poultry more than red meat and I missed fish a lot more than I expected. Red meat would be the easiest one to give. If you had to break it down, I mean, when I say easiest one to give up, that means no more burger ever again. That fucking sucks. But there are, like, the best fake meats are red meats, simulacrums. Sure. So, like, if you had, like, you could have impossible burgers and you know what, I, I can, I can, I had an impossible Wopper last night. Like, I totally am down with those.

They still got them? They still got them. I love that. Yeah, no, they're one of the only major fast food chains that still has a fake meat on the name. Not only is BK back, BK is now like running up the ranks of being the, it's going to be the best one. BK might be the best one. It might be the best one. It's happening.

It might win the fast food wars. Maybe it will. In our, in our coming, you know. Was that from Judge? No, what was it? No, not Judge Dred. It was the other one. It is a...

Now I need to use my phone. It's a Stallone movie. It's the Stone Wesley Snipes movie. Oh, right. Demolition Man. Demolition Man. I'm going to edit out us trying to figure out what demolition man. And just have us landing on demolition man right away.

And also have everyone not look confused when me and Wagger are talking about a 40-year-old Stallone movie. No one cares about the reference to. Have you seen Demolition Man? Yes. It's fun. Yeah. It's also kind of bad, but it's fun.

That works for me. Yeah. I think here's the thing. She's on our podcast. Dairy has, fuck. So if I get her as sweets. Dairy means no more cheese, my bag. No more cheese, no more ice cream, no more butter.

I think you got to keep there. Ice cream's like a crossover. Ice cream is a sweet. It's a sweet, but wouldn't that include it be a dairy as well? Yes. No. You could have some sugar-free ice cream, couldn't you? You could have sherbert, sherbet.

I could have sherbet. That doesn't have dairy in it, right? That's more of a sweet than a dairy. That's true. I could have that. I could have sorbet. Fuck, is it dairy? I just feel like cheese and butter.

It's just so fucking. That's really hard. Butter is such a big one. Butter and bread are just so important to me. I love. You know where your bread is butter. I know where my bread is buttered. By me.

I'm making a tough choice. And I'm going to say meat. I think I think it could make do with, with substitute proteins because they've done it before. And everything else is still fun to eat. It's still mac and cheese if I don't have meat. You know what I mean? I think you're a fool.

It's not of cheese pizza. Oh, man. Am I with you? No more burgers? But no fish is the problem. No fish is really tough. Like, you never have sushi again. I mean, no fish is hard, but also if fish was individual in the category, I would

choose fish. You choose fish as a New England? I know. I choose meat over. I think they'll kick you out of a new England for that. You know what? I'd actually maybe choose chicken. You can't just choose chicken. I know I can't.

That's not the exercise. Isn't the point of the food pyramid, too, that you need all of these things to live? So he's basically like, take one of these things away that you need to survive. I refuse to answer. Wow. Ben is just... I'll kill myself. Yeah, this is fucked up.

Well, so this is the thing. This is the jigsaw-like scenario that Ben has proposed. So you two are ended up dead. And you know what? I'm taking the keys out of your stomachs. And I'm getting the fuck out of there. Enjoy your fucking meatless life, you fucking dweeb. I think I will.

Guess what? That includes no wet boxer shows. There's no wet boxer short competitions if there's no meat. That's right. That's what I'm saying. So now how do you feel about your decision? No meat means I can't like I can't suck dick or eat pussy? Oh my God.

Yeah, pussy's a veggie. Emmy, you have to get rid of one. Grains, vegetables, fruits, meat, dairy, and sweets. It's a little bit of a boring answer, but I'm going to get rid of sweets because I think fruit could fill the void. I think that's totally reasonable. I think it's probably the sienest answer. Could I get a Coke zero or no? Yes.

There's no sugar. Wait, so you think sugar-free doesn't put it in the sweets category? Oh, that's interesting. So then I might say sweets as well. We just fucking gameed jigsaw himself. We fucking figured it out. Yeah, we figured it out. That's the secret.

I'm pulling the key right back out of your ass, and I'm fucking getting out of there. It wasn't even in there to begin with. Where the hell is this thing? It was in the door. Someone needs to get it out. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at Feedbag at BirdFuck.com

Or leave us a voicemail at 830-GOTO. That's 830-463-844. Our producer is Emma Erdbrink, our associate producer, Amelia Marino, our video editor, Mike Dorfman. We got Merchantic kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys and Emma. We got some live shows coming up. Yes, we got, we're in Irvine in San Jose at the end of April, the 29th and the 30th. And then at the end of, are you taking a video right now? Yes.

I was supposed to get dinner with Edwin and it's now 1030. So I was letting them know that, uh, are you good for an Edwin Stevens? Yeah, Edwin. Sorry, Edwin. Come see us in North Carolina and Atlanta at the end of. May. It'll be awesome. And tickets are available at birdfuck.com slash live or doughboyspodcast.com slash live. And we can also get the doughboys double at patreon.com slash doughboys.

Emmy Blotnick, what's her secret is the special? Congratulations. Oh, thank you. I'm very excited to check. Did you tape it in New York? I taped it at Union Hall. Oh, awesome. Yeah.

And it's going to be, it'll be on the 800 pound gorilla app, May 18th. And then on YouTube, June 18th. And we're having a special premiere party at Union Hall on May 30th at 730. It'll be me and some special guests. Wow. So if you're in New York or the surrounding area, go see Emmy live and to celebrate the release of the special, May 30th. Where can people get tickets or the studio on social media? I'll put the link in the episode.

Well, the link will be in the episode description. Yeah, the Union Hall website has its calendar. You can go there. and I'll and I'm going to I'm going to keep eating sweets until and I'm not going to do that. You don't have to stop.

Yeah, it's it. It wasn't binding. It wasn't a legal sort of frame. Thank God. Well, not yet. We'll see what RFK. We'll see if he changes things. We might have to eat raccoon dick from here on.

I'll start eating it, I guess, just to get used to it. Because it's going to happen. I mean, yeah, you're, You're the best. I always had so much fun in writer's rooms with you. Always a delight to have you on the podcast. It's so great when you're in town.

And I'd been very excited to have you back in the podcast next time you're available. Oh, my God. What a hoot. Thank you. Thanks for having me. You guys are the best. I'm going to call in and say something crazy on that phone line, you gay. RFK came to a, I was in a wet boxer contest and he said that I had a raccoon.

And that's a compliment from him. Yeah, it is. I think it's a nice thing. That's what I paid to see. I'm going to cut that thing off. Him chasing me around to wet boxers. With a pair of scissors. I have to plug something.

Yeah, go for it. Napa Boys now on digital. The Napa Boys streaming now. Check it out. Mitch is great in it. I got to plug it. Where do you stream it? You can stream it anywhere where you can stream a movie.

You can buy it like digitally, I think wherever you can, wherever you buy movies. And then there's going to be a DVD of it. But you could, because this is, this is, today is April 22nd. April 23rd. So three days, it's been available for three days. Wow. Yep. You know what I say?

To act out a Drake meme. Twisted metal streaming. Napa boys streaming. Hey. Why, you're my man. Wow. Hey, that's, uh, what do we say at the other day podcast? Bye.

I'll do it for our show. Oh, no, no, I have a thing I say. For the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell. Oh yeah, yeah. Until next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. I'm New Quir. Happy eating. You forgot that. We went very long. See ya.

I thought that was written in your notes. Bye. That was a HeadGum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on HeadGum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us.

That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in. episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh?

A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.