Doughboys - Ben's Chili Bowl with Christine Nangle & Carl Tart (LIVE)

Episode Date: September 5, 2019

For the first show of the 2019 Feast Coast Tour, we're joined onstage in DC by Christine Nangle (Inside Amy Schumer, The Simpsons) and Carl Tart (Comedy Bang! Bang!, Brooklyn Nine-Nine) to review a long-standing cornerstone of DC chains, Ben's Chili Bowl. Plus, a live edition of The Wiger Challenge.Recorded live at the DC Improv in Washington DC on September 4th, 2019.Sources from this week's intro include:Ben Ali, 82, Whose Chili Bowl Became a D.C. Landmark, Dies (By Matt Schudel)http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/10/08/AR2009100804353.html?sid=ST2009100804374Ben's chili and hot dogs have time-tested appeal (By Mara Vorhees)http://archive.boston.com/ae/food/articles/2004/01/28/bens_chili_and_hot_dogs_have_time_tested_appeal/Restaurant Essentials: DC Half-Smoke Hot Dogs (From Zagat)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYyQOFzhQGkThe Ben’s Chili Bowl Websitehttps://www.benschilibowl.com/aboutWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys, Mitch here. Unfortunately due to a job opportunity, the Doughboys have to cancel their tour dates in London, Toronto, Cleveland, Milwaukee and Royal Oak, Michigan. We're really disappointed by it. It's a great job opportunity for me. But we're sad to not be able to come and visit you guys. We love all the support that you guys show us over the years and from listen to the main episodes, the bonus episodes, the Patreon subscribers and everyone who comes out to the show. I can't tell you how much we appreciate it and we're upset by it. It's an exciting thing for me, but we're going to come back. We've already talked to our touring guy. We're hopefully going to reschedule tours there in the new year and we'll see you soon. So thank

you for supporting us and thank you for coming out to those shows and huge apologies for having to cancel these dates, but we hope to see you all soon. Thanks guys. In the early 1950s, while studying to be a doctor at the University of Nebraska, Trinidadian American immigrant Ben Ali fell down an elevator shaft and broke his back. An incident that would set a theme for the man and his eventual restaurant, survival against the odds. Ali's horrific injury led him to transfer to Howard University in the nation's capital, the city in which he'd meet, date and propose to Virginia Rollins. In 1958, the now engaged couple opened a dine-in burger and hot dog joint not far from Howard's campus on DC's U Street, then known as

Black Broadway. The diner's indulgent fare, loaded with spicy chili and based on a recipe from Ali's native Trinidad and Tobago, led to it developing a fervent following among locals. Its signature dish remains to this day, the chili half-smoke, a half-beef, half-pork sausage, which, due to his Islamic faith, Ali never tasted. In 1968, after Martin Luther King Jr., coincidentally a former customer, was assassinated, riots destroyed much of the surrounding neighborhood, but the restaurant not only survived, it remained open during the crisis. And the riots were just one of a series of disruptions that threatened its existence, including the drug war and subway construction, which shuttered surrounding businesses while the Ali's chili

institution endured. The eatery boasts an impressive list of celebrity clientele, including Miles Davis, Anthony Bourdain and Barack Obama. And another of its famous fans was formerly paid tribute by an unfortunate sign that read, list of who eats free, Bill Cosby, no one else. Ali died in 2009, but his restaurant, of course, survived. Today managed by one of his three sons, who were all given the middle name Ben, in anticipation of them one day taking control. Now with four area locations, this small chain is surviving in another change, in the DC landscape. Gentrification. This week on Doe Boys, Ben's Chili Bowl. I felt so self-conscious about using my phone after that inch, that announcement.

Welcome, welcome to the show. Welcome to Doe Boys Live. How you doing DC? Guys, we have an awesome show for you, but before we go any further, this week's roast is courtesy of Robert Winship. Let me introduce my co-host, Mayor for Life, Marion Crunchberry, the artist formerly known as Spoon Mike Mitchell! What's up DC? Wow. DC must stand for delightful crowd. What? Do you like that? I did like it. I thought it was great. Good placement of the music stand right in the way.

I tried to find a spot for it. It was tough. Yeah, you did a bad job. Hold on. There's not a lot. Hold on. No, don't. People don't like to see you move. Bam. We get feedback cards and it's like less wager movement. Oh my God. God, he might be gone for 20 minutes now, folks. No, don't bring it back. Oh my God. There's a 90% chance he's in bed with this thing later. You're not gonna fucking inanimate object. I never said you're gonna fuck it for God's sakes. I never said you're gonna fuck it. You're just holding it. Yeah, I don't know.

Man. Sit on the end. You're making me disoriented. Scoot over one. Mitch, we've been in DC for a couple of days now. That's right. Had a lovely time so far, a lovely city. Is that true for you? I didn't have a great time today because I had a very bad night's sleep. I had an absent night's sleep. I didn't sleep. You didn't sleep at all. I didn't sleep at all. I got a little bit of a nap in, which I can't normally do, but it's... Here's what I've liked about the city. The public transit is pretty good.

Wow. You guys cheered his half-complement. I like it. It's pretty good. He didn't even say it was great. It's good. It's not perfect. There are things that could be improved, but man, I would kill for that padding on the buses in LA. Oh, wow. Yeah. Atop in the L2 line, what's the one? The circulator? The circulator's free. Love that circulator. Are you gonna a lot of sore ass in LA when you ride the bus? Yeah. There's not as much cushion there. Oh, okay. Yeah. Interesting. I mean, you know, I'd say I've got that wagon. So, like, I've got a little of my own cushion to sit on. Uh-huh. But yeah, the seats don't have... You're a fat guy now. We all know it. I'm getting,

yeah, I'm getting fat. I'm getting fat again. I'm back. Fat Wiger's back. We walked around a little bit. We saw some sights. We went to, uh, the Washington Monument we saw. You were struggling to remember a DC landmark? You know, the chair guy. We saw the chair guy. We did see the chair guy. Yeah. Sitting up there, enjoying himself. Lazy fuck. Um, I made a joke that I lost track of you and then when I looked up that you were between Lincoln's legs going down on him. And that the statue was smiling. And I did say that the statue was smiling as well. You're good at your job. My job is to blow giants. That guy is big. Lincoln's big. He's big. Have you guys noticed that? He was DC. He's big. He's very big. A tall man,

but the statue is very big. I stayed a night in the, uh, the Washington Hilton where, uh, Reagan was almost assassinated. Yeah. And I told Wiger, oh, okay. I told Wiger this. So close. When I told you there's no news, you said that you wish you were assassinated on this trip. Do you remember that? No, I don't. You said, I wish, I hope we get assassinated. Those were your exact words. All right. I stand by that. You're doing all right. You got, you're working on 90 minutes groggy. Yeah. I got like 90 minutes of sleep in the past 24 hours, but I'm doing okay. I heard you screaming in your dreams the night before. That was two nights ago because we got in a night early. Yeah. I do, I do have night terrors. And apparently I was, was I talking to myself or was

I screaming? No, it was just kind of like, right. It happened a couple of times. I was like, Nick, I thought you were joking. Right. But you were sound asleep because you're also, you also have an issue, which is the Airbnb we're staying at. You believe is occupied by a ghost. I was going to stay on the first floor the first night and then I got so scared that I got as close to your room as possible. It feels like I'm going to do nothing. I don't know. I just hope the ghost takes you first or something. I was very scared that first night. It's a very haunted place. It's the exorcist hometown for fuck's sake. She crawls backwards. It looks like the exorcist house. No, Mitch, help me out. Was the exorcist a documentary?

It's a scary town. It's my point. Well, yeah, I mean, you know, I don't, I don't know. Is it, is it particularly haunted as DC have a reputation for being haunted? Oh, it does. Okay. It's haunted as fuck. Oh, wow. Okay. I have that sixth sense. Have I ever seen a ghost? No. But I feel it. Speaking of ghosts, imagine the owner of Ben's Chili Bowl came back and was like, where's Cosby? Oh, Ben. Oh, boy. Where to begin? You got news for you, buddy. You know, times change. Kids like Chris Tucker now. We're going to talk. Yeah, that's rough. Speaking of which, boy, I do not envy the pipes here at the DC improv after everyone's loaded up with Ben's Chili Bowl. We have plumbers on standby. Any first dates in the audience tonight? You guys get really comfortable

with each other. Any first, any first dates? Hey, you want to go see this podcast? I'm a fan of it's a possibility. You could fall in love in a Doughboy show. That's beautiful. It would be beautiful if that happened. I don't know if we've had any fans that have had made a love, wait, I think we do have some fans that have made a love connection. I think people have definitely broken up over this job. For sure. Mitch, I was like, you know, I got, this is a nice walking city. I believe, you know, I got to get down to walking. I know, you like to rub it in my fucking face, but here's, I'm not trying to rub anything in your face, but the, I was walking and I got a propositioned by a prostitute. That's right. I got a classic,

I got a classic sex worker. Hey, baby, want a date by a woman who was sitting on steps, putting your shoes on. Yeah. And it, you know, possible she was, she was a professional sex worker and a, but you know, also possible that I just look like such a mark that she was like, well, I got to take this opportunity. What were you doing? Did you like look up from your Nintendo switch as she asked you this question? I got to play my switch while I'm walking. Yeah, you could never do that. Yeah. I just sort of gave her like a half, you know, that half nod you give people. Oh, cool. So you freaked her out. So your answer was yes to the date, basically. No, I just was sort of like, you know, just a nod of acknowledgement. Yeah, but she asked you

if you want a date, didn't she? But that's like a, that's like a what's up nod. That's like a, how are you? That's an answer. She asked if you, she said you need a date, right? One nod is not like a yes, like that multiple nods. That's like, I'm accepting this, but just like a nod is like, how do you do, ma'am? It's friendly. I'm being convivial. So where did you guys go? Ben's chili bull. We did wait. What other food do we have here? We had a little bit. We went to farming, founding farmers. Founding farmers here. That was good. Nice little gastropub. Yeah. Great cocktails, great salads. We're both trying to eat healthy because we're eating so much fucking garbage

over this eight show tour. Yeah, it sounds like you're not happy. I'm doing okay. It's day one. I'm hanging by a thread. Founding farmers also a fun name, I thought. Oh, it's a lot of fun. Yeah. I don't know. Like founding fathers, but farmers. We did it at the same time. It was pretty good. Yeah, it was. That's our show, guys. Thank you. But we did, we got another, we got some more food, Mitch. Yes, we did, Nick. We certainly did. Yeah. We got Italian food. Oh, we got some Italian. What the hell was that place called? I don't remember. I don't know. Little Coco. It was Little Cocos. Wow. Yeah. Little, you're right, we did. We got little, were you there? Yeah, what the fuck?

Is Little Cocos the only Italian place in town? No, wait, we did have another, we did have another meal. Oh, that's right. Yeah. What was it? Is it, are you kind of hot? Yeah. It's kind of hotter under these lights. Yeah, sorry, hold on. We call that the prestige. For those of you listening, Mitch and I just removed our top layer to reveal our Comet ping pong t-shirts. That's right. After we went there, I actually had a nice meal. Uh-huh. I will say that we went out and was like, we were outside, we were kind of like, ah, this is fun. I could have caught big bugs at place. And then afterwards, we were like, pizza gate is real. Yes. We both think pizza gate is real now. You know, I really was struggling with this because we planned this reveal. Yeah,

and I was just going to be wearing a blank gray shirt and just have you have Comet ping pong. But you've been so tired and I felt so bad. I went with it. Did you have a blank gray shirt? No, but I could have worn this backwards. Who gives it? Why do you care about the gray shirt specific? I'm just trying to figure out how you were going to do the logistics of this bit because I think if you had to get an additional thing, you wouldn't have done it. I think more than anything, that's the reason you didn't do it. Okay, fair enough. One extra step. Yeah, we went to Comet ping pong and it was weird. It was weird, but the food was pretty good. The food was pretty good. I enjoyed a nice salad, you know, unique wings, this sort of this Caribbean jerk rub. Yes,

and a horseradish dip. Uh-huh. But the and the pizza was fine. But you go to the back. But it's weird. It's a little weird. Why? Why ping pong? Whoa, you work at Comet ping pong? First off, thank you for your service. Second off, how do we get in the fucking basement? I'm sorry. Why is it like that? The owner likes already shit and doing like no sign. It's aesthetically interesting. Oh, okay. What the hell? How did a mic appear in front of him? How did a mic get there? That was some common ping pong shit. I don't trust that guy.

It is. Yeah, because so for people who haven't been there, people who aren't in DC, the back of the restaurant, you just sort of go back there and it is like a pretty secluded area where there's just a bunch of ping pong tables. And then there's also the bathrooms are secret doors. Secret doors for the bathroom. That's weird, right? It's a little weird. Answer for that, sir. It's weird. I explain it at least once a shift. Mitch, you went to the you went to the bathrooms. I pushed on the door and then this is true. The door was locked and then a little girl just went hello and I was like and then she continued and then like five seconds later she went hello

and she kept saying that over and over again hello hello and I was like I just touched it once. What the fuck is this? And then a lady came up and I was like I think there's like someone in there and she's like it's my daughter and I was like is she okay? She was asking like hello and then she went and checked on her. I have no idea what happened after that. It was fucking creepy. It was a little strange. I mean a marriage has been a weird kid in there, but it was weird. Yeah. Was that a ghost? Jesus. Oh, it could have been a ghost. That's probably a ghost. Yeah. But Nick, you went to another place. We welcome fan theories, by the way. If anyone has a fan theory throughout the show as to what happened in our lives, just shout it out. You went to another

place. Yes. And there was a hidden ping pong table. I went to a coffee shop the next morning and there's like a sort of a roped off a stairwell and on the way up and it said ping pong upstairs. I was like what the fuck is up with DC and ping pong? And Forrest Gump comes to DC because he plays ping pong. Right. What the fuck is going on with ping pong? What's going on? What is it? I don't know. Let's get the fuck out of this place. Oh, we got more show to do, bitch. And you guys are in for a treat because we got some awesome guests. First up, what did you say? Trump? Yeah, Trump's coming out in a second. Yeah, we got the fucking president up here. Oh, you were doing the job for me. They were helping you. I was so mad at you.

I was furious. Out of hoe to Spoon Nation. And you song, let's hit them with a little drop. It began. Mickey Mouse was by my bed in the middle of the night. The band came out and grabbed me. He's involved in the OJ trial in some capacity. I thought maybe he was the real murderer. Donald O'Reilly going to town. Didn't go to art school, which is why I can't get Daisy's Muff right if he's dick all crooked. I noticed in the movie that Sharon Tate's feet are dirt. I think Quentin Tarantino did that intentionally. You're twisted.

All right. I forgot how embarrassing they are. Those are alive. It's been a while. This is from Mike Matthews. Hey guys, first time. Long time. Thanks for all the laughs. I don't really use IG. That's Instagram, Nick or Twitter, but I have a music page, Soundclad.com slash Mattingly Melody. I don't know what that means. Mattingly Melody. Check it out, Nick. Yeah, great. Check out this guy's Soundclad page. Mitch, let's get our guests out here. Yes, it's overdue. From the president's show, Inside Amy Schumer and The Simpsons. First up, give it up for Christine Nangle. Displaying her Nangang t-shirt for all to see. Thanks for being here, Nangle. Next up,

from Drunk History, Comedy Bang Bang and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Give it up for the great Carl Tartt. All right. What's up, guys? Sup? Too long without guests. I know, we agree. We fucked up. We went on a little long. We had a big Comet Ping Pong reveal. We fucked up. Sorry.

Yeah, didn't play. It was a good reveal. Yeah. Was it worth $40? Yes. Each? No, total. They forgot to charge us.

Shit, we shouldn't have said it in front of that guy. They forgot to charge us for the t-shirts. Wait, really? Yes. Oh, wow. You said this the other day. Oh, that's right. I forgot. That fuck is going on with you.

It means you stole them. Yeah, we stole them. We kind of did steal them, but we stole them from a fucked up place. We didn't realize until we were back. We'll pay that guy on the way out. Nick, yeah, I told you that there'd be some surprises on this tour. And there's a little surprise. There's another guest, but hold on.

Don't get too excited. They had to come in through video. You saw, if we could dim the lights too, so people can see the video and we'll play this bad boy right now. And Nick, you can look forward to these. I think there's going to be some guests dropping in throughout the tour. Oh, boy. Here we go.

Hi, Nick. I just want to say congrats on the start of your tour and that I hope you really enjoy DC. But hey, please stay away from Comet ping-pong, okay? Mitch told me what you like to do to yourself, and I'm not sure what's more disturbing thinking about you doing that or, you know, that orange buffoon. Wow.

Stormy Daniels, put it in the Wikipedia, a Doughboy's guest. What is your cameo rate? You want to know how much I paid for that? Yeah, I'm curious. $250. Flex. Wow. Woo.

Flex King. Oh, he's a mic of my time. He's a big guy. He's a big guy. He's a big guy. Oh, I hate the mic of my tooth afterwards. She was pretty good. Yeah, she was great.

Yeah. I like her. It was very natural. It was. It was natural. See, it felt like she was a listener. Like, she was like, Nick, I know what you're doing to yourself. Yeah, I did it.

I had a fun little surprise for you. I did. That was good. That was well done. Thank you. Yeah. You doing okay, Nick? I'm hanging in there.

I'm a little foggy. Everyone's nervous about you. I'm doing fine. What do you think is going to happen? I don't. Nick, okay, today, Nick was so like down that I felt like he was like being really quiet and like walking behind us. And I felt like, and then I was sitting next, I was sitting next to him at lunch and I like

felt like I had just told my husband I cheated on him and he was like, I need to think about it. I'm fine. It was like the energy. I was like, oh, don't piss off, dad. I don't know. You were just so quiet and down. I was very groggy because I was on no sleep. I couldn't sleep in this hot, bright room that was in.

And so like, yeah, I was just very, you couldn't tell what the fuck was going on. And you were working in the mines all day. We were working in the mines all day, yeah. No, I was just physically exhausted and mentally, you know, couldn't fucking tell what was going on. It was, yeah, how it was very bright up there, you were saying? It was very bright. It's hard to sleep. I'm sensitive to light.

I have a hard time sleeping in general. I know, I know. I just didn't know it was so bright you could have slept down in my room or something. I don't care. I was very groggy. That was the what was going on. I got a little bit of a nap and feeling a little bit better. I'm hoping adrenaline will get me through the rest of this.

Obviously, so far not going great. But I'm doing my best. We're in DC. Nangle, you're from the East Coast. Carl, you're from the South, but grew up partly in LA. I have a question for you. Yes, please. Did you accidentally sleep in the greenhouse out back?

Saying I made a mistake and instead of choosing the bedroom, you went to the green house out back. He's a very bright, hot room exposed to sunlight. Saying I made that. I'm just checking to make sure you know I didn't do that. Okay, not good. I was in a room with a bed with you. So you were you were you were wide awake with you song sleeping in the bed next to you,

basically. Yeah, he was snoozing. How long did you watch him? I didn't watch him. I'm not over there looking like peeping at him like a creep. So what the fuck were you doing for eight hours away? I was trying to fall asleep. I got up to use the bathroom a few times.

I checked my phone a little bit and eventually I when the sun came out, he gave up and I went downstairs and got some work done. Jesus Christ. I told Nick to sleep with the TV on. I sleep with the TV on. I watch Family Guy every night. And it puts me right out. Yeah, he did.

But he was turned into the sun channel. I like that a lot. Yeah, too much. Ambient noise is also a problem for me. Like like silence and darkness I think is best for me. Like I want I like I need like I feel like if I had a like I'm you know, I'm used to getting silence from an audience.

So it makes me comfortable. But no, I think if I had a Dracula style sleep coffin, like I would be like very content. You want a coffin? Yeah. Yeah, I think I could do a Dracula's like a like a fucking vampire. It doesn't have to be an actual coffin, but that kind of sleeping setup.

All right, new Patreon. There we go. How much is a coffin cost? I don't know. About $5,000 was like a cheaper one. Oh man. Why did you have that like right there? I bought a lot of coffee.

Because there's no way the answer isn't so sad. Yeah, I don't want to down the audience. Why did I ask that? Please no one get send a coffin to the PO box for God's sake. Especially not a Dracula sized coffin for a man is about six feet tall. Six one, but yeah. Oh, six one. Yeah.

But if you do send it also send a chandelier that he can bump his head on. Only both, not just one. How have you guys spent much time here in the nation's capital? Either of you? I came here for a weekend last year. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah.

And that's when we did all the touristy stuff. Right, right. And Mitch, have you? I came here before, yeah. I was here on a junior trip, a junior in high school trip. I was here. I've been here. Saw the president.

Fuck. I feel like this place is like a school trip if you're from the east coast. Yeah. Oh, okay. We don't do this. We go to a Laker game. It's true. Or Universal Studios.

I actually did go to Universal Studios or water parks. We'll do a lot of water parks, Raging Waters, Wild Rivers, Preferred Wild Rivers. I had a lot of fun there. Nangle, from Philly, you spent a lot of time in DC? I was here a couple of times. One time I came and I saw the Abraham Lincoln monument, gave him a blow job, did not like it.

You had his frown. Sad face. Oh, no. I remember one time we came down. Both my parents were civil servants for like federal employees. And we came down for something my dad had. And we stayed at an NBC suites. And it was our first time.

I grew up in a family of six, four kids to parents. And I have to brag. And we stayed at an NBC suites. And it was such a huge deal because it was like we were at a hotel and it was like we were so excited. And I think I was like eight. And there was a fire, a fire alarm went off in the middle of the night. And like everybody from this really like this like tall hotel

had to like evacuate in the middle of the night. But my mom made us get chain, get changed into our clothes and pack our bags. Oh man. Wow. Yeah. And then we got outside and everyone's like in their pajamas. And I still remember my mom who's probably younger than I am now,

being like, oh, whoops. That was my first experience of DC. My, I remember when I was a young boy, I liked to collect trash. So, sure. Okay. Okay. Normal. I had a high sea grape fruit juice box.

And I, every time my parents tried to throw it away, I cried. So, my dad put it in his back pocket and then we went to the Supreme Court and we went through the metal detector and it kept going off. And my dad was like, I don't know what the fuck's going on. And then they were like, sir, we're going to have to like search you. And they pulled them over to the side and paddled them down. And he was like, it's the fucking juice box. And then I remember like, even as a boy being like, you can throw it away now.

That's my DC memory. Can I have a juice box? No, I'm taking this at the Supreme Court. Was it the foil? What was it? I think it was the tin. But yeah, I think it was the foil or the inside of the juice box was setting off the metal detector. It was like, it wasn't a capri sun.

You said it was a high sea. Yeah, high sea. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Your parents were giving you bullets in water. That's also true. So, DC and I, we're going to go to the Supreme Court. So, DC, I think, yeah, I haven't been here.

I went here. Oh, here's a question. Have you guys ever seen a president in person? I've seen two. I saw, I saw Bill Clinton came to my high school when I was, I don't know, coming up. Yeah, that's right. All right, all right. Is that Clinton doing McConaughey?

You know what I like about Epstein's Sex Island? I keep getting older and they stay the same way. That's good. What's that? Did you say that? I thought you just said that's bad. No, I said that's good. That's a good bit.

I don't listen, I don't listen to the podcast. Do you do that on the podcast? I go into, I mean, Clinton stops by occasionally on the podcast. Clinton will make some appearances. I'm not going to listen still, but that's nice. So in the 90s, it actually wasn't my high school. It was two, it was another school in my district. And my, but my high school marching band played and I was part of it.

We played the Hail to the Chief for Bill Clinton walking out, which is very exciting. But, and then we saw it on the news and the mix was all off. It was very upset. But the sounds like you guys sucked, actually. The issue was they put the trombones in the front of the sack of the band. So that that was all that you heard. What the fuck? Yeah.

Everybody knows you're not supposed to do that. Thank you. Trombones in the front. Who the fuck was this band leader? I'm going to beat his ass. But Clinton, and this was the, this was the, what was going on in the 90s. These, these, these were the critical issues address, you know, that our nation had to address.

It was a school uniforms thing. And my, my school district, Long Beach Unified School District in, in Long Beach, California had instituted mandatory school uniforms for like K through eighth grade. And it was like the first public school district of the nation to do that. So Bill Clinton came to give a speech to talk about how great that was. Because it's a weird like Mike Minor thing. Like that's what we were dealing with.

I like what these kids are wearing. On brand for President Clinton. But then I told a lie. Me and my friend crafted a lie that we got to go talk to the president. But the thing is we made the lie too plausible that it wasn't even fun to tell. And so we kind of fucked ourselves. What was the lie? Let's hear it.

It was that we were like, we're like, we're originally going to say like, he complimented us on our, on our performance, but then it just, we just like negotiated it down to us going up and being like, uh, uh, he just said to the whole band, like, like, thank you for being here, which he didn't do. I was like, why don't we even bother, why don't we even bother with this lie? What did this get us? And then we told her life for you living.

You telling the most boring fucking lies. And then we told our friends and then he was just like, oh, cool. Like didn't even look up for Mortal Kombat. It was just like, it's a fucking waste of a lie. That guy rules. Who's that guy? Uh, I think that was either John Severe, David. One of those kids.

Trump own organizer. Fuck him. But, uh, yeah. And then I saw Obama once when I was here recently, not too recently, but like in the past five years and it was, I saw one of those press conferences and it was like during a government shutdown, like we were getting a White House tour because I was here for some meetings with the company I was working for.

And we got Monsanto. Monsanto is here. I was here lobbying to deregulate roundup. Which is weird because you just do the graphic design for the seed packets. Right. But we, yeah, we, and we, and it was like very strange. And you get that, like, I get that compulsion of just like, oh my God, it's like he's right, like the guy's right there.

It's the closest I'd ever been to someone that famous and with that much power. It was like very, it was a very. It's how these guys feel right now. It's how they feel. It's how this guy feels right here. What was your reaction to being close to someone that famous? Did you put your hands up in a strangling fashion? Here was the issue.

I drink, I was very hungover and I drank an entire like 32 ounce Gatorade. You know those big boys? Ooh, so, yeah. A big ass Gatorade. And like seriously, we got full. The gun was loaded, you're saying. The gun was loaded. And it was honestly the worst I've had to urinate while entrapped in a space

since I saw the X-Files movie in theaters, which was also rough. And I couldn't. As people know, you are a bit of a piss edger. Ladies would call those kegels. But I had pushed this too far and this was really like, this was the closest I came to pissing my pants in the room with a president. And I was like, I would be on the news and it was very, it was very, very stressful.

That'd be the most famous thing I could possibly do is piss my pants in front of the president. I'd like be tackled and covered in my own urine. Possibly like fucking double tapped by a secret service agent. I just fucking die in a pile of my own blood and piss. You think they tackle you if you pissed your pants? Yeah, because they'd be like, what the fuck is that guy doing? I don't think they would jump on top of you.

And they'd probably be like, this is fucking gross. Mr. President, I want to go to the other room. It smells like shit in here now. Well, hold on. I was going to piss my pants. I'll shit my pants. Yeah, I'm saying your piss smells like shit, my friend. But no, have you guys ever seen a president person?

Those are my stories. No. No? I've seen Donald Trump once. Wow. Yeah. In office? No.

Oh, OK. No. At a, like a Robert Kiyosaki rich dad, poor dad convention at the LA Convention Center. Wow. No, I was raised by a single mom and she didn't have a babysitter, so she had to take me with her to this like money making convention, you know? Right. Which is a scam.

Sure. Like my mom spent more money than she made on that damn thing. But oh, don't be sad about it. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm rich now. It's OK. I am not. I am not.

But I went to that. And this is also around the time where, like, for some reason, the hip hop music and hip hop moguls idolized Donald Trump. Right. Because he was just like all about making money. And so, like, it was actually tight when he came out. Because it was like, all right, the moment you all been waiting for, because this shit was boring as hell.

Right. Where was it? It was at the convention center in LA. In LA. Yeah. And it was just all about, like, here's how I got a boat. And just like investment. And I didn't understand it.

But then, like, I'm sitting there with my mom. And she's like, stop wiggling. I had to, I kept wiggling. I probably had to pee, too. And then he comes out like, the moment you all been waiting for, ladies and gentlemen, Donald Trump. And they started playing, money, money, money, money, money, wow. By the OJs.

And you know how that starts off with, like, a cool, like, bass line, a guitar line. And then he, like, these girls came out and they were, like, doing choreographed dances. And it was like, pah, pah, like, pyro techniques. And then he just kind of walks out. He's like, thank you. Thank you.

I was like, this shit is tight. Trump tight all day, every day. That's what they say on No Digging. What's his speech? Just like, I'm white and my dad's rich. Bye. It was quite uplifting. I, as a fifth grader, was very intrigued.

The year was in 2000. No, I've seen Donald Trump. I think that's the only one I've ever seen. Wow. I dropped kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger a couple of months ago. Did you guys see that video? I punched Richard Spencer. Right?

Was that me? Was that me? I wish. Yes, I did meet a president before you move on. Whoa. Wow. Thank you. Bombshell.

It was a bombshell. I met Bill Clinton. I shook his hand. You met him. I met him. Holy shit. I know. I shook his hand.

Thank you. What did he say? I was going to say that literally at one point. He said, he said, Christine. What did he say? He said my name. Oh, he said, oh, really? I met him when I was a freshman in college.

I went to the school I went to. I went to the University of Pennsylvania. And there's a special kind of scholarship there called the Mayor's Scholarship. And it's for Philadelphia residents. It's kind of a need-based and merit-based thing. And so for some reason, he was in Philly. And they invited all the mayor scholars to go.

And I still have, I remember this lady called me. And she was the mayor of Philadelphia's assistant. And she was like, OK, well, you want to come to this? And I was a freshman in college. I was like, yes. And I hated college. I don't know if I've ever talked about it. It's fine, guys.

I hated it. And I wrote down the directions. And she was like, just go here. Make a left here and go here. And I was like, OK. And I went. But I still have the directions on a little post-it note. I keep them.

I still have them. And we all of us got a photo together. But he came to the Granite Lynx Golf Club in Quincy. Bill Clinton did. Whoa. And my boss was like, Bill Clinton's going to be here. That was a fake whoa. My boss was like, he's going to be there.

And I was like, dad, I'm going to go up to the golf club and meet former President Clinton. I didn't say it like that. I'm not weird. But I was like, I'm going to meet Bill Clinton. And my dad was like, who do you want to meet that Philanderer for? Wow.

He didn't care about him. And my dad is a Democrat. But he didn't like Clinton. So I didn't go up. But your dad's a lawyer, right? So his issue was a lawyer. And his issue was the perjury was part of it. Yeah, I think so, yeah.

I think he also had a big crush on Monica. Yeah, it's an issue. So he was pretty jealous and everything. Monica rules. Yeah, Monica does rule. Yeah. We're pro, Monica. Ooh, double yes, right?

Oh, man, I take Lewinsky and I'd also take Monica from Brandy and Monica. I'd be down for either. I was team Monica in that war. Oh, yeah, I think so. Yeah. The boy is mine. Here's the thing.

We revealed these gray shirts. Yeah. And I'm slowly sweating through mine. It's going to be very like damp and dark looking by the end of the show. Yeah. I just want to let everyone know because I'm very self-conscious of it right now.

Oh, honey, they knew. Yeah. I mean, I'm guessing like 25% of the audience is bare fetishists. Just here to see you in person. So you could take your shirt off and give them the show of their life. No, I don't take my shirt off for myself.

So you will not be seeing it. Let's talk about Ben's Chili Bowl. Had anyone had it before today? I had not. No. No. No. I was aware of it because it's such an institution.

It's one of those places that's known over across the country, obviously. It is a sort of. I never heard of it. OK. I too have never heard of it. Sorry. I'd heard of it.

I'd heard of it as well. Oh, you liar. Not seen eyes. We talk about it all the time in the Bill Cosby message, boys. Carl was telling, what was the channel? Huh? What was the channel?

Oh, TV One. Carl was like, TV One still plays Cosby shows. Yeah. Wow. It's the one channel that still plays Cosby. TV One is a black-centric television channel. And it still plays the Cosby show. And at first, I was like, oh, this is going to bring

controversy. And I was like, wait a second. Hallmark still plays 7th Heaven. Yeah. So we get to keep going. How do you know that? Because I watch both of those channels. There you go.

Right before we left, the Cosby episode started right before what I was doing. Yeah. Wow. That's when Mitch went to shower, fully clothed. Rudy needs those residuals. Ben's really hammered this experience today. And I know it was very exhausted.

But I did it. I'll tip my hand a little bit and say I did enjoy myself quite a bit. But it's sort of like. You didn't enjoy yourself? I did enjoy myself quite a bit. I'm sorry for fucking mumbling there. But it hammered home like how much chili is a part

of American cuisine. Because it is like, it just made me think of, on the West Coast, we've got, in the LA area, we've got, you know, a Tommy's burger, which is like, you know, like a chili and fucking chili fry. A chili fucking, it's a fucking chili place. And we've got. And the hat, the hat in Orange County,

which is all like a bunch of chili loaded stuff. It's like chili is such a huge part of these fast food chains that aren't like the national chains, but they're kind of like the beloved local joints. And that's definitely the case with Ben's Chili Bowl. We went today. Do people like Ben's here? Are we fans?

Damn, this whole section did not clap. They're just looking at my wet back the entire time. I'm sorry, everyone. We can't think about food. Oh, don't break up food. Do you guys like, like, let's start here. Do you guys like chili? I love chili.

I'm a chili freak. I want to call myself a chili freak, because that makes me think you do like weird stuff with the chili. No. With penguins. Weird stuff with penguins. Yes. In the chili Willy sense.

There you go. Thank you. No, like a, like a, like a, but not chili. Like it is a bowl, like it is a chili dog, like it is chili fries. I like to fill up a bath with chili and send it. Okay, Nick. Speaking of Patreon tears. I think I heard you made a remix to Adina Howard's song

and called it chili freak like me. Don't you Google the song. Your chili was Nick like me. I don't think that's what that was. We'll do it. But I think they were both good. I think both of them are good. What we both have said.

The only song I thought of was the freaks like me need company from the Spider-Man turn off the dark musical. Of course. One of the 20 songs you know. I saw Hades Town on Broadway and the guy, yeah, and the guy who played Spider-Man in the Spider-Man musical

is one of the leads of Hades Town. Thank you. That's the whole story. Very cool. Admit you like chili. Yeah, I like chili. I do. You're not under oath. Seems like it.

I like to Wendy's chili lock growing up. I like to homemade chili. Right. Wendy's is kind of my fast food chili. There wasn't a lot of other places where I get chili in the fast food sense. There was like no specific like, like there was no bends, you know what I mean?

There was no like a chili only place. There was nothing like that growing up. Not a thing in the Boston area. I mean it sure exists, but I didn't go to it. Right. Carl, how about yourself? I like chili. Chili and I have a weird relationship.

I like a good made chili. Like a homemade chili with whole beans and stuff like that. I make a good chili. I make a sweet chili. Put sugar in it. Yeah, come to my house and have some. Just kidding, don't come to my house. I'll shoot you.

I, um, I like chili cheese dogs. Who doesn't? I worked at a restaurant called Barney's Beanery in Los Angeles, which is a, the thing is chili. Yeah. And I worked there for a while. Those hot dogs are big too.

Yeah. Big ass hot dogs. Big ass hot dogs. Look at those fucking John Holmes fucking hot dogs. Jesus. Their model, that's a John Holmes. What does that mean? What does that mean?

John Holmes had a huge dick and that's what Nick's thinking about. Okay, I don't know who John Holmes is. No, no, no, no, I'm at it, Nick, not you. All right. Should have gone with Peter North. Is that more contemporary? Jesus.

And I like, uh, chili from TLC. Chili has, you know, chili, it's one of the, I'll call it, I'll classify it as one of the rumbly foods, Nick. It definitely is, especially we get it with beans. Yeah. And spicy. Yeah, it can be, it can be pretty intense. But you could also order it without beans.

You can. You have that option. Really? There are places where, yeah, you just get, yeah, there are places where you just get like a meat chili. I like it sometimes. It's like a chili sauce, especially like as a topping, I feel like sometimes without beans works better.

But you were saying, or I'm sorry, Nangle, what's your chili opinion as someone who's been a vegetarian for some years, have you found some vegetarian chilies that satisfy you? First of all, I would like to put on the record that I'm not a vegetarian, I eat fish. Okay, I'm sorry. Which I have, people are angry about,

which I've never said I was a vegetarian, thank you. But it's cool, vegans are famously chill. But have I found a, what is the question? I'm at Bill Clinton. Have you found a vegetarian, have you found a vegetarian chili, a pescatarian chili that satisfies you? Oh, a fish chili?

What the fuck? Yeah, fish chili. It doesn't have to have fish in it to satisfy a pescatarian. That's what you said. I'm saying you could satisfy a pescatarian diet, which means the exclusion of meat. Oh, I'll miss you a foo.

Is anyone listening? It was Mitch that said miss you a foo. I don't know, I don't know. I can't, I've not had a lot of luck with vegetarian chilies. And I feel like it's, I mean, because I like, I'd love to eat less meat, especially, and you know, usually chili, you can make a good turkey chili,

but generally made with beef, which is the most. Hey, turkey's meat. It's true, turkey is meat. But I mean like... Cafe 101, right down the street from me. Yeah, they're gonna get turkey chili, yes, there's a place in Hollywood. I shouldn't say that.

I shouldn't say right down the street from me. Someone's gonna try and fuck Wally or something. Well, you just said it twice. That was, it's you guys who are the freaks. Leave Wally alone, I agree. Don't break into Mitch's apartment and fuck his cat. That's my duty. Oh, that's Christ.

What? Read the laws, Nick. If you own an animal, you may fuck it. Good God. That's why I planned the DC stop. Someone just said, don't tread on me. That's how that snake got into all those pieces that somebody fucked it.

Kudos to them for finding the snake's butthole. Because you've looked and looked and looked. Didn't I find? My pet snake, which I won in the fifth grade. What the fuck? I've never known you had a pet snake. What the fuck? His name...

This element, this was a weird element of it, is that our class named the snake Damien after a kid at school we thought was cool. So... Dear Lord. He wasn't even in our class. He was in a different class. And everyone was like, we like Damien.

We wanted to be our friend. Let's name the snake Damien. I don't know if he even found out. But... Jesus. We collected like fucking Kepp keybox or whatever currency the teacher had. Excuse me?

What were they called? Kepp keybox? What in the fuck does that mean? You can't just steamroll by that. Okay, let's say you're... It sounds like a Polish mobster. Your mother was a... worked in education.

Yeah. And you know, if she had like some... was teaching a class, she might have like some sort of fun Mitchell currency, right? Mitchbox? Yeah, she might have like Mitchbox. You know, like how we pay you, son? Yeah.

No, she can... She can have like... It's like a thing teachers do. This is not weird. This is a thing that happens in classrooms. It's weird because you said it like we should know what it means. No, yeah.

Okay, I'm sorry for not giving additional context. His name was Mr. Kepp key, I believe. Okay, thank you. We all get it now. I can be wrong. Move on. Move on, but get it now. Anyway, I collected those Kepp keybox.

Name was Mr. Kepp key. It's currency in the class. And I used it to... At the end of the class, I was like, okay, I don't know what it means. I don't know what it means. I don't know what it means.

I don't know what currency in the class. And I used it to... At the end of the school year. You bought the snake with Kepp keybox? I bought the snake. You... God, you're so fucking weird. It was the most...

Everyone wanted the snake. What were other people buying? Like a fucking Nerf football. The cool stuff. Yes. Okay. Yeah. So I went...

I went for footballs for sale and he was like, I want that snake. I was wondering why you did the Kepp key to get those extra bucks. Jesus Christ. No. I'm saying as a student, he sucked them off or something.

I don't know. Look, was there a local pizza parlor with some table tennis tables in the back? Maybe. So I got... So I bought the snake at the end of the year. And then you were talking about his butthole, like snake's buttholes.

My snake died that summer, the summer after I got him. And he had like... I think he just like had... It was so constipated. That like, common intoxication. I hate to see it. I hate to see it.

Mitch has cracked himself. I met you a fool. We all know he's not toxic. He'd be dead a long time ago. Mango, you a fool too. Thank you. I was 10 years old, even if I would think to do that,

all I could shoot was Aaron. Boy. Jesus. So anyway, this... he had a fucking like... I think he had an impacted stool and he fucking died from constipation

because when he... like he was totally stiff, we realized he wasn't moving anymore. And then you flipped him over and then on his like whatever his little... Do they have cloacas? What do snakes have? Yeah, and his cloaca,

there was just like a bunch of like feces like packed in there. It's like his belly was all swollen up with a miserable awful death. Damien. Yeah, I know. Fucking awful way to go. Damien.

Anyway, the snake's butt hole thing made me think of that. So this I liked from Ben's Chili Bowl. Boy, that snake could have used some Ben's chili, gotten things moving. You know what I'm saying? This is on the website and I like this,

the quote from the art history. There's a lot of history here, but I think this kind of gives into context who our previous celebrities were and her current celebrities are. From Dr. Martin Luther King and Duke Ellington to Bono and Jimmy Fallon.

Four greats. All the same. The Mount Rushmore hot dogs. But we went to the original location today for lunch. You guys were mentioning the music was fucking great in there. Oh yeah, they had this dude. So there was a guy sitting at the jukebox

and y'all saw him too? Wow. Yeah, he was tight. He was sitting there and he had on so much shoe polish on his hair. It was like his mustache was painted on, his hairline and... Is it the same person?

Yeah. Okay. So is he like a fixture? They thought he was a robot. Yeah, they thought he was a robot. He was real. He talked to me. I was like, hey man, how you doing?

For those of you who don't know, all black people have to acknowledge each other at a certain age. I could not walk by this elder and not say anything. That would have made me disrespectful. But then he like kneeled down and shined your shoes with his head. Yeah, he did.

Yeah. And we talked for a bit and he looked at me and he was like... What'd you talk about? We talked about music a little bit and then we talked about... He was like, I like them tennis shoes.

They got on right there. What is that? What are those? And I was like, and he was like, them look like $2,000 tennis shoes. They got on. And I was like, you, sir, are right.

But he was like, I like that Michael Jordan. I ain't seen nobody that can beat that Michael Jordan. And then we'd sat there for a bit and then Nick made me leave. I made you leave. No, I'm just kidding.

He was a... But he was DJing the whole time. Right. And he was, I mean, he was balling. He was playing the hits. Like the music was popping in there. Yeah.

The music was great. Bernadette. Bernadette. Bernadette by the four tops. Don't mess with Bill. Yeah. Then we started singing it. Yeah.

It was so cute. Yeah. And I characterized the service as like, you know, very good and friendly, but kind of just like, you know, all business. They were just like trying

to take our order and the person who was serving us was, she was lovely, but she was just kind of like taking care of us efficiently because it's a place with a lot of volume. I got the,

what happened there? Boy, someone didn't use the yonder bag. You song just got a you up text. You song up. Yeah. So I, he's wonderful.

You just killed him Carl. I just wanted to make sure he was up. I'm sorry. Oh no. Let's start with the half smokes, which I think a few of us got.

So I don't know if this is the thing to do or not, but this is what I did because it's offered on the menu. I got mine split and grilled and it comes with mustard

onions and chili sauce. You know, you're going to omit whatever you want, but I got all that. It's chili sauce. It's chili sauce. It's chili. Yeah.

I mean, it's like, I think it doesn't have beans by default. If you get it as a bowl, they add some beans. That's my, that's that was my experience. Yeah.

And the, the fucking sausage, which is half beef, half pork, not half beak Jesus would be a nightmare is fucking great. It's got a great snap to it.

It's delicious. And then the chili is like, it's, it's a lot, but it's not so much. That's what I love about a good chili dog, a welcome post chili dog when it's like kind of like

the sausage just sort of nestled in that little, the little crevice in the bun where it doesn't spill out over the sides and make your hands a total mess. It's just like fucking well proportioned.

And it was fucking great. It's a fantastic chili dog. Which, which half did you take a bite of though? The beef half or the pork half? I don't think it's split down the middle. And I know that question is

something of a troll, but I believe that the meat is ground up and integrated throughout. Oh my Lord. It looked like a Dr. Mario pill. If you had another podcast, you could talk about this on that,

but you can't. Right. The Dr. Mario thing. Yeah. It's not an option. Mitch, what did you, you got yourself a half smoke. Oh, and I got the spicy one.

That's right. There's a spicy in a mile. I got the spicy, a good amount of heat because they have something of a heat seeker. But it's not like, it's not like punishing Leigh hot.

It's just like, it's just like a nice little tingle to it. Yeah. It was, it was almost, it tasted like a chorizo sausage. Right. Yeah. I think that's a, that's a good way to characterize it.

I got the original, and I looked up to you and you said, Hey, I saved you half of my spicy sausage as I was sucking down the end of mine. I didn't save you any of mine. I felt really bad. It's okay.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I was impressed that you one shot at that. I loved it, Nick. I thought it was really great. It's great. Yeah. It was really great.

And I, you know what? I preferred it over the spicy sausage. Interesting. Yeah. I thought the original had more flavor to it. It was good. Carl, you got one as well.

Yeah. I got the spicy half smoke and I had a cheese to mine, which I was surprised that y'all didn't do. I did not know that was an option. Well, here's why you didn't know it was an option.

Do you know why you didn't know it was an option? Why's that? Because you didn't understand what the lady was saying when she was asking. That is true. Yeah.

So Carl was helping me out a lot. The second city I've had to translate what another American was saying to me. I eventually just like, she'd say something like, I look at Carl. It was bad.

I did a bad job. It was embarrassing for me. I don't want to make fun of her accent, but she was definitely saying cheddar and onions. She would ask you if you wanted everything on it. And then you say, yes.

And then she would say cheddar and onions. And Mitch was like, no. And then she kept saying birthday boys, birthday boys. No. Love, season two.

I embarrassed myself in front of this lady. I felt very stupid. Well, here's another thing that was making me laugh all day. Mitch was ordering for us. And he was like, can we get some onion rings for the table

and some chili cheese fries for the table. And she was looking at him like, what the fuck are you talking about for the table? It's not fine dining. Ben's chili bowl. For the table, please.

Extra silverware. She was going to put it on the floor. She's like, okay, do the onion rings go on the table then? Okay, great. It's a fat guy buffer. Okay. I don't want the lady to think

I'm eating all this food for myself. So I let her know for the table. I will say she did bring those items that you said for the table. She brought them out first. She did. Including the Ben's famous chili burger. But Carl, did you like that hot dog?

I love the hot dog. Yeah. But are we going to talk about those chili cheese fries? We absolutely can. Those shits were hidden. They were great. They were very good.

Delightful. They were good. They've got a good, and I don't know what it is, but they're deep fryer, because we also got some onion rings. Their deep fryer there is on point. They had well-fried fries

and well-fried onion rings, and the fries held up well. Sometimes you get those chili fries that are just a soggy mess. They were, you know, getting a little bit of, a little bit of give to them from so much chili sauce.

I feel like 15 minutes though. I feel like they really were held together. They were still holding up. Yeah. They were fucking delicious. Well, one thing I did see was the guy sitting at the jukebox went behind the counter

and dipped his head into the oil. So that's got to be the secret, baby. Why didn't you point that out to us? I wanted to save it for the show. Oh, okay. Um, yeah, those... I also met a president. Sorry, I didn't want you to move on.

The chili... I love the chili cheese rice. No, don't tell me, don't tell me. Did you have another president's story? That was just a bit, right? No, yes, a bit. Okay, good. Your reaction...

Yes. Well, I do want to try it. Can I try it? Sorry. What is going on? I meant to not say that over the mic and say it to Carl. I want to try this beer. We got...

Atlas. Atlas, yes. Atlas was very... Atlas Brewery. Atlas Brewery works. Check the bottom of the can. The bottom of the can. No peeking.

Wow! Oh, fuck! You see? Wow. John, 316. That's fucked up, man. Mine just says, make America great again.

I bet the blood orange goes, which was lovely, and now I'm having the district common craft lager, which I do like a lager. Very good. Thank you for those. This one says... Thank you to Atlas.

Silent dance with death. I'm serious. That's what that says. Wow. That's a combo. Thank you and fuck you. Mine literally doesn't say anything. Doesn't say anything.

That's all. But the negotiation over the beer aside, you guys, we all had the chili cheese fries, the onion rings, and wait, Nangle, you got some... What the fuck are we missing?

I got a hot dog. I got a veggie hot dog. Yeah. And here are my thoughts on hot dog. Okay, so it was very thin. It was a skinny little hot dog in a big old, regular size. Are you trolling me now?

What? I'm just saying. Thin, short, semi-hard. My buns aren't small. Okay. Yeah, it was a tasty hot dog, but the ratio of... This is something I would never fucking cared about

if I didn't get mixed in with this crowd. The ratio of hot dog to bun was not good. That's a bummer. Too much bun. Right, I got you. Too much bun. Not an issue with the original dogs. Yeah, that looks good.

But you also got some vegan chili, and Mitch, you got a bowl of the traditional chili, which I had a taste of both. I like both. Yours was piled with sour cream and cheese. You got all the fix-ins on that. I got cheese, onion, and sour cream. I added sour cream to it.

Yeah, it's really... The chili is really good in isolation, which is like, you know, I mean, that's the whole point. I mean, they use it as a topping. They use it as more of a sauce, but if you just get a bowl of it, it's going to be very satisfying.

And you like your vegetarian chili, or the vegan chili, rather, as well. Was it vegan? Yeah, it was vegan. Not a lot of bun-cheese on it. Yeah, it was good. There were, like, big chunks of... I think it was green peppers and maybe tomato in it,

which I really appreciate. Appreciate it as if they did it as a favor. I don't know. I think... I think... I'm not sure, because it didn't say on the menu, but I think the, quote-unquote, meat was, say, tan,

which I'm not a fan of. Sorry. You okay? You're haunted over there? Just D.C., the combination of D.C. and seitan scared me. We didn't see the exorcist stairs, Nick. You can go see those?

Yeah. Oh, that's cool. I'll be the only person who... Georgetown Water? All right, well, we could look that up. Instead of the priest dies falling down them, I could die walking up them. The priest is...

Is Gregory Peck? Is it Gregory Peck? Is it Gregory Peck? No. What am I thinking of? It's Max Von Sido. Not your business. Max Von Sido's one of them, yes.

Never mind. The man... I think you have the omen. Thank you. The young honk. Who's that guy? Jesus. He's, like, 50 and barely a honk.

That's what the ladies liked in the 70s, though, for some reason. It's true, yeah. You notice that all the men are mad old. Yes. And the girls are, like, 19. Even in the 90s, cost me... Yes, things are very different now.

So very different. Keanu Reeves is 55. He's still, at least, looks good, though. He looks good as hell. I know, but he's still 55. That's all I need to say. What's the... The fucking Hobbs and Shaw,

it's like the rock Vanessa Kirby have a romance, and he's just like, man, what is the age gap there? Yeah. But, uh... It is. Oh, you're right. It's weird.

I remember, I was thinking about this with as good as it gets, where I just remember seeing it as, like, a kid and thinking, oh, this is, like, an interesting movie, and then all of a sudden I was like, oh, wait, she's kissing him? I'm just remembering, so disappointed,

I'm like, oh, we have to do that? Well, I feel triggered by this, because I'm married to Tammy Faye Baker. Um, the end-year rings I mentioned were great. I love the end-year rings. They were great. They were really, really good. They were great, and I dipped them in the milkshake.

They're fantastic. You're getting a clap for your segue. Oh, yeah. No, yeah, no segue. That's my trick. Yeah, that's what you get a clap for. Uh, Nick, yeah, between those golden rings

and the chili cheese dogs, this is a Sonic Haven. Nick is clapping. How many spins do you think you'd do for this play, for Ben's Chili Bowl? Mitch, that's my favorite thing you've ever said on the show. And we got some of the,

this is their copy, Hans? You didn't, like, come intoxication more? No, that was weird, because you were implying that I, as a 10-year-old boy, was fucking my pet snake. That was strange. But we don't know how the snake was. That's true.

And what was he clogged up with? You never really told us. It was like shit. It was like shit. It looked like shit, yeah. Shit, snake shit. It was fucking, yeah, it was awful. I imagine he was frozen in a straight line

and you used him as a cane. Did you bury him or anything? We did bury him, and I made a little cross. Oh, Damien, check out this cane. So the, and the shake we got, the ones, well, we also got some, I got some sweet tea, which I thought was nice, was very good.

You know, a good amount of sweetness and an overwhelming amount. The, we got the, this is their copy, Hans? Bung? Thick and creamy milkshakes. These are very thick milkshakes. We got one vanilla, one chocolate.

This is the, this is what I imagine Joe Biden's brain is like. It's a viscous semi-solid substance. You can suck through a straw with some effort, but they give you like a big, thick boba straw, which is nice. I use my regular straw. Don't tell me that.

You're going to see me on the news trying to crack his skull open. First he beat his pants, then he's cracked his skull open. And I thought they, I thought both of those shakes were very, very good. They were really good. And I liked the texture quite a bit

and I liked the flavor to them too. This is a great sweet treat. Carl's critique was good though. What was it? Was it? You like, you like milkshakes that are like milk. Yeah, I like a very thin milkshake. So I went, that's fair.

That shake was thick as hell. That shake had ass. And I, I, I'm not into that. I'm, I'm into ass, but I'm not into a thick ass milkshake. Right, I gotcha. It was hard to get it through the straw. I'm sorry.

It was hard to get it through the straw, yeah. What were you going to say? Wait, did, did you guys all use the same straw? Oh yeah, baby. You guys all sucked super hard on the same straw. Yeah, we did. I used a water cup to pour it in to the, I don't, anyway, I like ass on a milkshake

and I thought it was great. What I liked about it was that the, it was a vanilla and chocolate and the chocolate just tasted like vanilla with like Hershey's syrup in or something, which to me felt like homemade in a way that I really liked. And I dipped the onion rings into it

and it was really good. Oh, I love that trick. Thank you. People are clapping. The first time I had seen that, I was like, Nangle, you wildin'. Yeah, I was wildin'. She said it was good.

She said it was good, so I have to trust her and respect. So I, I get, wait, did I miss, did I miss any menu items? You guys got some? I got a half an, I got a Arnold Palmer. Right.

Oh jeez, Arnold Palmer, who there it is, I said it. I got a Nick Weiger, hell yeah. God, you can't steal it. I got it, it was good. I thought it was very good. It was, it was a nice drink. No, I think, oh, the Utz potato chips that came.

Oh yeah, they give you some potato chips there in a bag. And they're nice, they're good ripple chips. Did I say it right? Is it Utz? It is Utz. I was putting those chips in my chili and I thought it was great. Oh, that's fun.

That's a nice little hack. Sure. Mike got lemonade and regular iced tea. That's right. I got lemonade and sweet tea. That's right. Which was delicious. He also ordered a burger for the table.

That's right. Oh yeah, we didn't touch on the burger. We didn't touch on the burger. I have had a revelation over the past year. So I don't, I'm not a big burger guy. I just realized that. Wow. Ain't that insane to hear?

Yes. It was the same when I thought about it, but I like one burger and I don't mean to bring up another restaurant during this, but there's a place in Los Angeles called Burgers Never Say Die. Oh yeah. And it is, it is like a, it's a smash burger.

It's very thin and it's made like classic style and it tastes like what McDonald's would taste like before all the chemicals. Right. And still like, I imagine what it is, it's like what McDonald's tasted like in like 1960. Okay. Well, the cows surely say die.

Oh man. Oh boy. That's true. I'm canceled. No, I, I didn't, I didn't care for the burger was fine. The burger was fine. I didn't want it. It is a very thin patty.

Yes. I do like that it's got, you know, all the fixings on it plus chili and, you know, a good proportion of that chili sauce. The creator of the burgers never say die burger, Nick. A graduate of North Quincy High School. Wow. He was a red raider?

He was. Don't say that again, please. It was a fun moment I had. And you've ruined it. Yeah. He was a North Quincy High School guy. Right. Is that not the school you went to?

No, it is the school I went to. And the mascot is problematic. Yes. The mascot is problematic. Moving on. I'm so scared. What the fuck? You're fine.

You're just canceled. It's fine. So. So yeah, I thought the burger was good, but I would get the, I would get this, the house smoke over it. I thought the burger was good. We should have done what you said and gotten the,

the no chili on the burger. It would have been interesting to try like their default burger and see how. No chili on, like I put chili on everything. I don't think it was a bad call. I think that's the, you know, the place chili is in the name of the restaurants. I think it's really fine.

But I think at this point, we should just get to our final thoughts on Ben's chili bowl. So we'll each go around, give it a, give it the assessment of this chain and give it a fork score from zero to five forks. You guys are all vets. You know how this podcast works.

Christine Nagle. No, no, no. Okay. So basically kind of give like a, you know, No, no, no. I mean, I don't want to go first. Okay. Uh, does anyone want,

would anyone like to volunteer to go first? I'll go first. No, you always wrap it up. I don't have to wrap it up. Okay. Carl's going to go first. Uh, my assistant. Wait, I want, I want to go first. All right.

Okay. No, no. The hell? If you cheered Nangang, keep going with it. They went Nangang. They died halfway through it. Because they're aware that it's a little weird.

They're aware. They're Doe Boys fans. They're weighed down with Ben's Chili Bowl. Their diets are probably not great to begin with. It's a round of a guess. I'm not very strong in my opinions on the show, as you guys know. So I like to hear what you guys think before I form my opinion.

I got you. I think that that's probably very not feminist of me or something, but that's just the way it is about this particular part of my life. What do you think? Right. I'll keep this as short as possible. I think that too. Oh boy.

Just like Nick Weiger is a bit of a heat seeker. I'm a bit of a history seeker. Wow. And, uh, I love reading about places and stuff. And when I stumbled upon this place, I had heard about it. You see it on, you know, Guy Fieri shows and stuff like that. And, um, I, uh, I really enjoyed going to the place. The ambiance, the atmosphere of it.

Mitch and I stayed up really late last night watching these documentaries on PBS. One was called Washington in the 70s. The other one was called Washington in the 80s. I watched Washington in the 90s after Mitch went there. It was about Danza Washington. Yeah. It was all of his movies.

The 70s was what was boring. It was just the made for TV Wilma Rudolph story. But I, uh, I really enjoyed the ambiance of the atmosphere, the pictures on the wall, all that type of stuff. You walk in, you got the guy sitting at the jukebox, which to me added extra to it. The fact that he just sat there the whole time playing really good music and greeted people.

He looks like he stepped out of the painting in the wall. Yeah. Honestly. He literally looked, I agree with you 100%. Have you guys ever seen the TV show Good Times? You know that painting that's like the Ernie Barnes painting that is the beginning of the show? He definitely looks like he was in that.

Like that's, he looked like an old pimp. Like, and I was like, this is great. I got to talk to this dude. I read about the plays. You read about what happened in during the 68 rise. You read about, uh, you, one line in that documentary from DC in the 80s last night was if you went down to 13th and you in 1985, oh, you was buying crack.

And so to be on that block and see like the, not the change of it, cause that, that is controversial. But just to know what that block has gone through as far as you got your crack, you got your crack. That's a surprise. We're going to do a cracker wax. I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed the food that I ate.

The, the chili cheese fries were fucking on point. I put some Texas beat hot sauce on them for the whole ambiance of it. I see they painted over Bill Cosby's face, which we can talk about after they just painted over him with that painting that that person did in that church and like that, like that Jesus, you know. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Uh, I'm going to go ahead and give this place five forks. Wow. Yeah. Do you want to go or do you want me to go? I'll go. All right. Um, okay. So you're a heat seeker.

I'm a history, I'm a history seeker. Right. Right. I was just like, okay, there's so much going to happen. And, uh, no, I, uh, there was stuff for me. I really liked the, the chili. It was, it was spicy in a good way. I liked the chips, like the ambiance.

Um, the hot dog really didn't do it for me. I don't know if they should tailor their buns to their, their veggie hot dogs, but the veggie hot dog was very thin, like Mitch's dick. And, um, I kind of, I kind of, I was thinking like if I was like, first of all, I will say, and I don't want you to feel bad. And I don't think you will because you're capable of it.

But I will say that I felt so uncomfortable because I felt so bad for, for Nick that, and I was just like trying to be like, okay, how do we make dad happy? And, um, but if I was like drunk and, uh, like real super hungry, this would have been like the best place that I've ever been to. Um, so I'm going to give it. Wait, if, okay. So if I gave it, if I gave it four and a half stars,

and you guys give it five stars, is it in the Golden Play Club? Yeah. That's the third. Forks, forks, forks. I'm going to give it. Forks. Forks. Yeah.

It's forks. Forks. Forks. Yes. I'm going to give it four and a half stars. Wow. Forks. Forks.

Sorry. Forks. All right. It was your birthday recently. That's right. Right? No, we know we can't. Happy birthday to you.

We have to cut this out of the podcast. We don't have the rights to the song. It's public domain. Happy birthday to you. Go, go, go, go, go, go, show. It's your birthday. Big old party like that, you don't have the rights to. You don't know me.

Nick. Yeah. I love Ben's Chili Bowl. Wow. I loved it. It was amazing with that strange guy by the jukebox. He wasn't strange. Sorry, he was not strange.

No, he was strange. He ruled. The chili fries. Look, I've said this before. I'm not a big time chili fries guy, Nick, and I those were maybe my favorite chili fries. I've had it over a decade. I swear.

Yeah, they were so good. Nick, I pledge allegiance to the bowl of the Ben. Uh-oh. I didn't think of this. Sorry. Oh, say can you see by the bowl of chili. Oh, wow. Wow.

The audience came through. I told you it was a delightful crowd, Nick. Nice group mind there. I'm giving it 50 stars. 5.0 stars. 5-0 representing the 50 states. Five forks. I love it, Nick.

Wow. It was great. Nick, before you give your final assessment. Yes. Can I tell the audience something? Please do. Okay, so there's a place that everybody wants to eat at when they come to Los Angeles is called Pink's Hot Dogs.

If you've been there, you've eaten at it. She clapped. I'm going to disagree with that clap. Thank you. I've eaten it one time. It's not good. She maybe also clapped for Barney's Beanery. Was that you?

Are you from LA? Oh, okay. Why were you clapping for Barney's Beanery? You just have to represent. It's just a thing. I feel you. You have to represent. It's a thing.

I'm proud of it. I clapped. You know, it's fine. When DC people, when y'all come to Los Angeles and you eat at Pink's Hot Dogs and it's not as good as Ben's, don't, you don't have to say it because I'm warning you right now. Don't add to the LA slander. Okay.

Just be like, Carl told us that it wasn't as good. Because pinks survived the DC riots. It did. Unscathed. Unscathed. So just come, eat there, take your picture and be like, yeah. That was so unnecessary. I'm a lifelong Southern California and I do honestly believe Pink's

is fucking whack. I would say maybe pinks should be renamed Stinks because that's. Wow. What I'm saying, I think Pink's should be renamed Stinks. Wow. Do you think that they will? Do you think they will? I think, I mean, I have a change.org petition that I'm going to

ask you guys to sign before you leave. No, it was, there's better versions of that, the fucking chili place that slathers it over burgers and hot dogs and fries. There are better versions. Even original Tommy's, which is a chain, which has many more locations than Ben's does, is a much better version than Pink's. Pink's is pretty bad. But it's a gimmick there for to just basically look at celebrity

pictures on the wall. I took too much time to say that. I love Ben's. Ben's is fucking great. It was delicious. I love this style of chili. This is something that my lovely wife, Nellie, would characterize. She loves chili fries.

She loves them so much and she would affectionately call this diarrhea chili. That sounds like a pejorative, but that's kind of the texture of it. That's kind of how it looks. And it's fucking delicious. It makes me maybe want to try liquid shit just to see how it compares. Maybe it's great.

No, it's fucking good. It's really, really good. Like you never tried that before. The chili fries were fucking awesome. The chili, the spicy chili half smoke was great. That was a home run. However, I'm not going to give this place five forks. For you see it as a chili place, I'm going to give it five spoons.

Welcome to the Golden Play Club. The hell? Ben's Chili Bowl. A DC institution. That was tight. Rightful. That was good. That was good.

That was like when Donald Trump came out at the rocket pool. No, it wasn't. It wasn't. Stop it. I will say, I could tell that you were ramping up to five. Yes. And I was like, oh, whoops, whoops, that I do the wrong thing. Let me have my opinion informed by the men around me.

But then I was reminded of that beautiful intro you did, and how Ben never had his own hot dogs because of his fate. Right. And it only made me more secure in my four and a half, because you would think that they would put more effort into their veggie hot dog. If there's a lot of people that can't partake of their half smoke. Very fair. That's fair.

Did I have the right opinion? I liked it. Yeah. So, no, yeah. So anyway, I just want to bow to myself. I love you. That was our review of Ben Chili Bowl. It's time for a segment.

I've got a mystery beverage. Wow. And our panel must define what it is. Wow. It is the Weiger Challenge. You Song is going to bring out our Weiger Challenge. He is walking his way up there. Wow.

Scared the shit out of him. Jesus Christ. God, they like You Song so much more than they like me. They do. They do. You Song did something very funny after we came home from the Ben's Chili Bowl. He was like, oh, I'm feeling so bad from this Ben's Chili Bowl. Are you guys, how do you feel about the show tonight?

And me and Ben's were both like, fine. What are you talking about? I thought it was built for this. You told them, you're like, I eat trash. You Song. So you guys each have a clear plastic cup with a liquid in front of you. I have it as well, but I do know what this is. Go ahead and let us know what you are seeing and sensing.

It looks, it's a very cola looking drink. Okay. It looks like a cola. Okay. Go ahead and taste it. It tastes weird. It tastes like a cola. It tastes like a diet cola.

It's a diet cola for sure. It has a very, very, very, very strong asper team after taste, which is a great name for like a punk band. Is this like presidential cola or something? Did you get this like Trump cola for God's sakes? There are no lifelines in the wiker challenge. Just use your senses. I can say this right off the bat.

Don't like it. Don't like it. I don't know. I don't think it's that good. I'm going to say, can I guess? Go ahead, please. I'm going to say that's just, and I'm sure I'm wrong about it, but it just tastes like Diet Pepsi.

I think I know what it is. Carl has guessed Diet Pepsi. Go ahead and angle. Here's what I think. I think everybody's dancing around this fact, which is that it's probably what he said, which is like presidential cola because we're in DC and presidential is on point. So presidential cola is your guess? Hold on.

That was my guess. Wasn't it? Yes. It's my guess. It's Christine Engels guess. Okay. Presidential cola. Go ahead, Mitch.

I like presidential cola. You're both saying presidential cola. Wait, is presidential cola real? I don't want to get so jealous of a thing that's not real. Is it real? Okay. Congressional cola. My Pepsi stands for presidential enough.

People see it. Wow. But diet. Diet that. Diet that. Got it. It's a diet cola. I don't know.

I have no idea what this, I don't know. Is RC local to DC? You know what RC? Because it's close to DC. RC diet ice RC cola. It's diet Ted Cruz. I am torn on who to award the victory to here. You were right, Mitch, that the initials are a clue.

For you see, we are in Washington DC and Weigher has given you regular old Diet Coke. Wow. And I said I don't like it. And I think you're reasoning a sound, but I think diet Pepsi is a closer guess. So I'm going to say that Carl Tartt, you have won the Weigher challenge. You know what I was about to say it was? Like straight up. Yes.

Remember when Diet Coke, the caffeine free came in the gold can? That's what I was about to say this was. It tastes weirder than Diet Coke. It's strange. Yep. Because remember the one without caffeine, my middle school teacher used to drink it all the time. I'd be like, damn she making that shit look good. And I would go buy one.

I'd be like, this shit sucks. You song said he had to go out and get this. Couldn't he have just gotten this here at the venue? Oh yeah, he probably could have done that. I didn't think about that. Well, you know, sometimes some of these establishments have Pepsi. Who knows? You song was caught in a gang crossfire.

Also, why did you turn into the riddler when you started to give these clues? What do you mean? DC is spot on. That was a part of the clue, you see. I just didn't like, I didn't like the area you went into. That's fine. I'll take the note. I'll make a different character choice.

No, no. It's fine. No, don't you fucking baby. Why so so? Guys, this is like a restaurant where you feedback. Let's open up the feedback. The show's almost over. We're almost over, yeah.

Okay. So we've got some questions that we got from you guys. You told him the white power symbol of? No, I'm not doing that. Yes, you were. I was making the number three. You were doing this. You did.

I saw it. I was not holding out the white power symbol. Yes, you were. How dare you? Nick, we gotta talk. Also, Mitch, why don't you just look at me? Nick is a bit of a hate seeker. Yeah!

Oh, God. Nick! Nick! Nick! Nick! Nick! Nick! Nick!

Nick! Nick! Nick! So you, wait, how do we do... I have a mic. You, Sung, you're gonna let us know which questioners we're going to, yes? How does this work? The names, I have a mic.

Oh, you have a mic, yes. Go for it, Emma. All right, Emma's gonna walk over to whoever has a query. Give it up for Emma. Give it up for Emma. All right, the first one I have is Michael Thies. All right, Michael, where are you at? Did I say that right?

Michael's right up here. Michael Friend Center. Emma's a bit of a Thies seeker. Apparently. Are you at? Oh, you're all the way up front. Oh, God. How do I get there?

It's impossible here. I'll give you my mic. All right, go ahead, Michael. Oh, thank you. I think I was cramming under the 10-minute deadline there, but it was... What historical president would you want to have a fast food dinner with, and where'd you take him? Or her.

Hell yeah. No retort for me. Good question. I mean, you know, my mind goes to Taft because he was a famously hefty man. Ooh, Taft's good. Yeah, Taft would be... I mean, you know, I think he has a big appetite. But I...

He's the president that ate the bathtub? So I don't know the anecdote. I don't think he ate a bathtub. No, I'm pretty sure he ate a bathtub. Yeah, he might have ate several hundred pounds of porcelain. It's possible. No, I think of the... I...

My mind goes to Taft, but it's also like, who would you like to share a meal with? Yeah. Which is another thing, and that might make me say FDR. I'd like to just talk... Just pick FDR's brain for a little bit. How'd you get that new deal going? Mitch is on his phone looking up... I'm looking up president.

Who is president? Hmm. George Washington, interesting. I'll tell you my answer. Yes. The orange buffoon and I take him to a Sherman Williams so he can eat paint. How's that? Choke on some paint, you fuck.

Can I get in trouble for this? Probably. It's an oblique thread in the life of the current chief executive. But yeah, it probably. And do you guys have any answers? Any thoughts on which president you'd like to go take to a fast food binge? Yeah, I'd like to take Jimmy Carter to the Waffle House. Oh, that would be fine.

That's good. Carter's a good answer. God, that's a fucking great answer. Because Jimmy Carter feels like a grandpa, and he feels like he would... After we ate Waffle House, he'd be like, don't tell your mother, but we're going to get some ice cream. The Waffle House is built by volunteers. Yeah.

That's a Jimmy Carter joke about habits after humanity. I liked it. I enjoyed it. Okay, my mind goes to Taft also, but that's when I'm masturbating. I would definitely want to hang out with Barack Obama. Come on. I don't care where we go. You pick.

I don't think the answer is too obvious. Me and Barack played basketball on Sundays. I didn't pander enough to the guy. I said, Trump would eat paint for God's sakes. I thought I would get a bigger pop. You did well. Yeah, I did fine. The biggest pop was still just you song walking on stage.

He's so fired. Yeah. And to be clear, I was Googling Sherman Williams to make sure it was a paint store. He's like, why is Sherman Williams a president? President Williams. President Williams. How many terms did President Williams serve? All right.

Who's our next question from? We got Beth Wang. Hi, Beth. Where's Beth? Oh, Wang Gang. That's right there. Hi, Lang. Lang Gang.

Hello, Wang Gang. Hi. Oh, Wang. Sorry, Wang Gang. No, no, no. Hi. I'm wondering if you guys, my friends and I, new friends and I play this game called Rank the Carbs.

I'm wondering if you'll rank pasta, rice, potato, bread and put them in order for each of you to rank them. Fuck. This is too hard. Pasta, rice, potato, bread. How long until they close this place up? Hmm. Rice, potato, bread, pasta.

That's my answer. Wow. Jesus. Are we going first to last? Yeah. Yeah. What you like the best. Okay.

Rice, potato, bread, pasta? Yeah. Hmm. I must go opposite of Weiger. Potato, bread, potato, rice. Like macOS hanging there, just the rainbow wheel just spinning as you try to figure out how to list in the reverse order. Also, this is like that movie, like, is it like Wind Talkers or something?

Oh, yeah. That's what they spoke. Yeah. That's how they communicated in code was car based. You guys got your car rankings. I'm going first, bread. I'm not eating peanut butter and jelly without fucking tortellini. And then I'm going pasta.

And then I'm going potato. And then I'm going rice. Rice has the fewest uses to me. Interesting. I agree with Carl. I want to change mine to what Carl did, but it was fun to do the opposite of yours. Please don't boo me for that. All right, Nagle, go ahead.

Okay. There's two things you need to know about Christine Nagle. One, mostly Irish. Two, I love Oprah. So I'm going to go potato, potato, potato bread. That's good. All right, we got time for one more question. All right, we got Terrence Murphy.

Oh, Terrence. Over here. Wow, we got a whole table of people wearing lettuce wrap t-shirts. This is not a product we sell. You guys make these on your own. Wow. That's rad. Wait, is that Toboy's related?

There's a little pixel art. Don't forget one big crouton on the back. Very well done. All right, Terrence. What's your question? Oh, yeah. What's the best fast food restaurant for a good first date and a bad first date? I mean, I'm interested in why you'd want to have a bad first date.

Interesting move to set yourself up for failure. I still hate that. That Diet Coke is still in my mouth. Yes. I still hate it. I really think probably the worst is a place with a bad dine-in atmosphere and food that will also like hurt your stomach. So I would say probably like a, the Pizza Hut side of a combination, Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

I think that would be a miserable first date. As far as success goes, that's a good question. I think you have to have, you know what my answer is? And this is a little bit of a cop-out, but it's whatever your beloved local place is. If you're in Seattle, it's Dix. If you're in Southern California, it's in and out burger. If you're out here in DC, maybe it's Ben's Chili Bowl. It's a place that's like a beloved local institution with some sort of history to it.

So it actually feels like a date. It feels like an occasion. That's good. That's a conversation start. Yeah, exactly. You see these pictures of Bill Cosby up here? What do you, what do you think of Bill Cosby? Oh my God, I meant this guy also thinks Bill Cosby's bad.

It's love. I'm going to go Wendy's best. That's good. Because it's got a big menu. Yes. I've never had to like really shit after Wendy's. Like for real, like be like, damn. And you're making me realize that I want the Wendy's I go to in Long Beach.

I went in, I once went in there and hanging over the side of the trash can was a used condom. It's the best. So it's a good spot. People are getting freaky at the Wendy's. They're hooking up. Yeah. Yeah. So you got a drink.

Okay. Jesus Christ. I'm glad you clarified. I wasn't sure which Jesus you were talking about. Worst. I would say I would say bet I got my best would be like a Baskin Robbins post-stage treat. Oh, that's fun. Oh, that's delightful.

Pretty good. I love that. Lettuce wrap. It's a lettuce wrap. Fuck. Fuck. Oh, DC, DC, the president's home. Here, Mr. Trump, you could use this comb.

Wow. Lettuce wrap. It's a lettuce wrap. That's all I had. Guys, that's our show. Christine Nagel. Don't end this game. Carl Hart.

You sang Lou when we were in break. I know it's not time for the hardest part. But I'm very happy eating. Thanks, guys. Yeah, thank you. Prenera and Chipotle. On the next Doe Boys Double, the Doe Boys are in our nation's capital. We review local pizza spot Comet Ping Pong and find out if Pizza Gate is real.

Spoiler alert, it is. Get the Doe Boys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Sources for this week's intro include Ben Ali Obituary by Matt Schudel. Ben's Chili and Hot Dogs have time-tested appeal by Mara Voorhees, Restaurant Essentials, DC Half Smoke Hot Dogs from Zagat, and the Ben's Chili Bowl website. A full list of sources are available in the show notes.