Doughboys - BHC Chicken with Matt Selman

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

Matt Selman (@mrmattselman, The Simpsons) joins the 'boys to talk Feeld, underwear, and CPAPs before a review of BHC. Plus the debut of Food You Rather.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. In 2002, real estate developer and future failed L.A. mayoral candidate Rick Caruso opened his flagship Caruso property, the Grove. An upscale open-air mall in the Fairfax District of Mid-City, Los Angeles. It boasts dancing fountains and its own streetcar system, with a laughably short route,

trailblazing the American shopping center trend of outdoor spaces that are simulacrums of walkable neighborhoods. The then-cutting-edge design absolutely cucked to L.A.'s previous upscale shopping mecca, the now almost-dead mall, the Beverly Center. But the Fancy Pants Grove is itself built on the back of a historic, working-class retail space, the adjacent original farmer's market. Founded in 1934, it originated as a permanent installation for SoCal farmers to sell their wares both the businesses and direct-to-consor. Over time, it grew from fruit and vegetable vendors to include butchers, fishmongers, dairy, guys, and prepared food sellers. Following the opening of neighboring the Grove, it skewed decidedly

in the eatery direction, with coffee shops, burger stands, brew pubs, and sushi bars outnumbering the produce purveyors. Today, the Farmer's Market Food Stand lineup includes outposts of several chain restaurants, and, as of 2023, amidst an American fascination with Korean culture that perhaps even exceeds our mid-90s Australia obsession, Korea's largest fried chicken chain open to store along the farmer's market's outer rim, next to a once-trendy competitor, Chipotle. Like BBQ chicken, meaning best-to-the-best quality, its name is built on an acronym that doesn't really work. But it has achieved market dominance on the back of its signature, burinkle spice blend, a sort of suito-chito powder that's generously dusted down to fried-to-order

chicken like a mound of Hollywood cocaine. But with the Grove in the farmer's market now walking distance from the newly opened Wilshire and Fairfax stop of the D subway line, as promoted by the MTA's cheeky ride the D merch, is this K-Chicken K-Chain so good you can skip the heavy rail ride east into the heart of Koreatown? Does it perhaps even merit writing the D reverse cowgirl west from Koreatown to the Grove? And what does that acronym stand for anyway? This week on Doe Boys, Beul Hana Chicken, aka Big Hit Chicken, aka Better and Happier Choice, aka Canonically, B-H-C Chicken. Welcome to Do-Boys, a podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Jacob Malorty, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell.

You're wearing Kushner Yellow today. I am wearing Full. I am wearing yellow. You're just saying Kushner Yellow because of the Lakers sailed that just happened, breaking to me. I want to wait to get into that with our, we introduce our guest because our guests is a big time sport like we are. Sure. We'll have some takes on this.

But yeah, really rough off season for your Celtics and my Lakers, you trade away finals MVP, Jalen Brown. And my beloved franchise gets sold to the Trump family. And I, and back by Petro State cash and private equity. So, you know, those are a couple of asteris there. I'm wearing your undies. You're wearing my undies. Kinky. I'm wearing Wags' undies.

Now, give some context for that. You suggested underwear to me. I suggested some underwear brands, yes. I'm trying yours out today. Which one specifically? I mean, besides all the underwear sponsors that we love on this show, Miundis. Right, we love.

Meandis is advertised. We haven't done a Mi'undis out in a long time. But, you know, I think Quince sells undies. Fabb Monis. Come back. Quince, we love Quinn's undies. Wait, who else does? Fabletics, maybe.

Fabletics, we love your on these as well. Do they send us on these? No. Yeah. I sent. I like all the Fabledics stuff. Wait, they did? They sent you tons.

They sent you a lot of stuff. You got a whole wardrobe from. This is the thing with Fabletics. And I know we're not in the ad read part of the show. So headgum's like, what are you giving this away for free for? Yeah. But I am going to add, Fabletics, the brand that sent everything. Because the way their Google form was,

and a lot of times it's like, and I think this is the way that HeadGum has their free product cycle is like, their workflow is, here's a Google Doc for you to figure it, to fill out. Someone who's never here will go through it and give this information to the company so they can ship you whatever free product they want to. And a little piggy clicked every box.

I did for this thing you're endorsing. So they went through and I saw the Fabletics had so many options. And I was just like, I don't know, just click all of them. This is the type of greed they talk about in the Bible. They sent two like... Testament three. Wait, third. Wait, New Testament.

What is it? New Testament. What are you trying to say? New Testament, too. More like Two Testament. They sent in, they sent two like... Yeah, I guess that's true. More like Chew Testament.

Go on. Two like refrigerator-sized boxes arrive at my apartment. And it's just like it was a fucking hall. It was a whole new wardrobe. I could wear, I would clothe myself in just fabletics if I wanted to. I think generous of them. I was insane. Hey man, I'll take their free product. Thank you, Kate Hudson? Thank you, Kate Hudson.

You know, some Nepo babies are okay. You are home. That's what she does. I have new shoes, too. I am. Fresh kicks. Wait, but what? New shoes, new socks. Wow, new spoon man.

The shoes are, the shoes are fresh. But tell us about your underwear. Are you, are, like, how? New underwear, new socks, new shoes. New me. I'm a... And also, hey, this might be funny timing, but AOC is single. AOC times SBO.

What? Spoon, man. Oh, SBO. Why didn't you say, has anyone ever called you SBO before? No, but I am gonna, I'm doing a brand. You know how Rob Mac, you know how it's Rob Mac now? Yes, right. I'm now Mike Spoe.

Why didn't you Not SPO Spoh? Mike Spoh Spoh. Mike Spoh. Why didn't you just do MDM? AOC times MDM?

Yeah, that's so much clearer. Figure out what those letters can add up to over there, Amelia. AOC and MDM. I, uh, wait, what do you mean? Like, as if they're Roman numerals? Yeah, like a scramble. I don't think they're all Roman numerals. No, not.

Like the T-9 text numbers. Okay. We got, oh, no, no, wrong. This doesn't work. Are you doing anagram? Yeah. Yeah, anagram that shit out. Maybe it's MacDom?

MacDome. I am a Macdon. I'll be the MacDombed. I don't know. I feel you're more like Big Mac sub. I love the sound of a Big Mac sub, honestly. No, I mean, you're like a sub who's pegged while eating a Big Mac. I mean, I like the sound of all.

But a Big Mac Submarie sandwich is good. Have you? That does sound fun. I don't know what you're. current relationship status is. But I think sub could be a good way for you to go. I think that that aligns with my personality.

I think that totally aligns. I mean... It does, it does align with my personality. It doesn't be full dominatrix, but just, you know, just go into it. Put a collar on me, put a bowl next to Wally and Irma. I'll be eating from that thing all day long. I think this could work.

Hmm. I've tried, because this is a thing. You, I guess I've seen you very, be very submissive. in certain settings, including with... I like to be mean... I like to have fun with you. Yes. But you're also like a guy... You're also like a confrontational person.

That's insane. You don't think... I think you can be if you feel passionately about it. You absolutely will confront people. Yeah. If I feel passionately about it. Yeah. But what do you mean...

But you're like an arguer. You're someone who argues. With you, I like to... With close friends, I like to argue. Okay, okay. So that's a different thing. People who I don't know, I don't like to get into it. Right.

But if you're talking about having someone you're in a relationship with, Yeah. Unless you're talking about someone you know. And purely as a sex worker, you know, like, like, from that standpoint being being submissive. But like if you're talking about with like with some, I get all these, role plays its own thing. Can we look at your field profile and just see what it, maybe we could write it together? I don't have a field. That's too new a, those, those, those, these kids are crazy with the field app. Field. Field is a relationship app. Okay.

That is for people that have very, very specific wants and desires. and with different groups and different ups and downs. It's a fuck app. Yeah, but like, you know, it's like, you know, you and a partner want a different partner to do other stuff with, and you click on some interesting boxes, and then a lot of uploading, I'm not, this is just, I'm happily married, folks.

It's from my single friends I've learned. It's a fuck app. Field is a fuck app. But it's for the, like, the modern, boundary, breaking, creative, sensuousness people. So it's like I'm not, I'm fed up with regular fucking, that's a yawn. I need something a little bit more specific. Yeah.

Got it. So it's like you find another person who wants to click on the same stuff and then you have like 50 conversations about how you feel safe about it and then hopefully it works out. And then boom, you're under a glass table getting shit on. Okay, so he is familiar. That is the click. You click on that. Yeah. I guess I could put up a picture of me and while I'm going to say like anyone looking for three cats or something like that. I don't know field. I don't know it too well. I'm looking in the direction of the dais, which I feel like you guys maybe know of it more. I don't know.

I only know of it from same thing like stories, people talking about being on it. I've never been on a dating at myself. My friend who was on a show. I put Mike's bow on there. friend showed it to me and it was modern times. Yeah. Times were happening. Yeah. It's a beautiful app, very like Zen, garden, greens and good fonts. Like, not gross until you actually read the specifics of what people want.

This is the kind of sin that the Bible was talking about. Am I wrong, Wags? Something's in your eye. I'm so off today. Oh. Do you just shake it out a little? No. No.

Yeah, he'll be fine. I'll say this. I was at a screening last night, Wags, which you were invited to. I think you replied you would go and then you did not go. Oh, did you go? I went. Okay. And I was talking to people, I got an eyelash in my eye.

Yeah. And then I got- That's a thing on field. You can do that. You can sign up for that. I think one of my eyelashes is coming in the wrong way. I think this is, I think this is happening. And so I went to rub it, but I just got in a burrito.

And the guy at the burrito stand was like, you should do a sputely. I did spicy. I did spicy. Touched my eye. That's spice from the burrito transferred over. That's bro. And then I had to tell everyone at the party. I was like, I gotta leave.

I got spice in my eye. Yeah. Can Do Boys do branded foods that we create, that you create and then sell? Of course. We have that, yeah, we could. Can we invent a burrito wrapper with less overlap? So there isn't like the dense chunks on the ends, just a pure, single layer. out of the like dense multi-layer chew at both ends and then on the seal on the horizontal.

It sounds like we need some sort of scientist for this. We do we have a food scientist we have a connection with. And I think we're going to try to get to get on the podcast. Here would be my only my only issue there is that I start to worry about the structural integrity of the burrito itself. That's the challenge. That's the challenge. Because I had the nightmare happened to me the other day of this was after one of the screenings we hosted. And, uh, oh yeah, you went to guac daddy.

I went to guac daddy, which I love guac daddy, the food. I hate the name. It's too, too field-coded. Um, but I'm there at, I'm, it is field-coded. I'm there at Gwock Daddy with, uh, with our friends, Anesthesia and ECHO. And obese 40-something seeks guack daddy. Obes. By choice.

40-something. Seats quack dad. My bean and cheeser, uh, like, I give it a little squeezer and all, it's all fucking, it's, it's You're being cheezer. You gave it a little squeezer. It's like exploded all over there. Just like a normal amount of pressure, right? But it just all fucking collapses.

Why are you squeezing that thing so much? I wasn't squeezing it too hard. I wasn't squeezing it the normal amount you squeeze a burrito to hold it, right? It just, it's kind of physically disintegrated. I had to go get... Gwock Daddy told you to squeeze it, however. I had to go get a fork. It was a fucking mess.

But anyway, we were saying... I had spice eye. I had spice eye. It was Whitmer Thomas, the screen of a Whitmer Thomas is special, and it was very funny, so check it out. Much like the... We already... Yeah, I unfortunately had to bail

a day of, which was a bummer. I wish I could have made it. That's all good. Yeah. But much like a guild navigator. Yes. Guiding... I can't fucking do this today.

You're okay. What are you going to? You're doing great. Just squeeze your burrito. He's gone. He's going to go squeeze his burrito in the bathroom. Is he okay? He's going to go shake it out a little bit.

I'm worried about him. He doesn't have another bag, does he? He has to take care of it. Oh, he's reentering. I have to take care of them. All right, here we go. Here we go. He's restarting.

So the last time I saw you guys in person was at the world premiere of Napa Boys. That's right. I thought, by the way, I think he's having a good episode. I'm back. I'm back. I'm back. I just can't form words. No, you're doing great.

Last time you saw us was at a, was at a, that's me all the time. Glamorous? Hold on, because I want to allow you to do this, but I also want to, no, no. I also want to see if I can land. what I was trying to say. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, sure. You had spice in your eye, much like a guild navigator in the Dune universe.

Oh, my God. That's good. I was going to ask you to do a dune screening. And we all liked it, right? Come on, Dias. I love it. I know. It was funny.

It was good. He still got it. Last time I saw you was at the Napa Boys Premier, which we were very happy to have you at. I was wondering your thoughts on the movie, which I love. Look, everyone was having a great time. I was having a great time. And I love it when people have a great time. Mitch and I were laughing at it as much as much.

Was it very much like looking at field or something? I love to see that it was like it was kind of like millennial UCB past their prime comedy writer prom. I mean, granted, I'm way past my prime, so no disrespect, everybody. But like to see your two friends, Bugman, Weirdo, and Armin, be their true selves in a, their dream movie of their comedic personas. It just made me happy to see that self-actualized. I agree with that.

You were great, Mitch. Thank you. And it was just... A delight in that movie. Henry Winkler was in front of us. That was great. And we looked at his Spotify playlist over his shoulder, and there was some classic rock there.

Oh, yeah. And he was very kind to me afterwards. It was a great moment for me. He's a sweet gentleman. And, you know, I just felt like, you know, I don't get to go to a lot of cool events like that because I'm, like, old and live in the, West Side and I just had a great time.

I was happy to have you there. I love the movie. It's a crazy movie. I love Apple Boys. I don't know Blu-ray. Yeah. It's a great year for indie comedy. I have it on Chewray. Fuck, that's good. Also, also, um, pass their prime, more like pass

their prime rib. I'm sorry, millennial UCB comedy. You're great. You're all, you're all better than me. So, no disrespect. Come on. Who's better than you? I'm just a lucky. I'm just a lucky joke.

That roast. Their credit scores aren't better than you. I'll say that. I'm a fucking mess today. That's good. We want that. My pulse is racing for some reason. I don't know.

I'm just coming here. I feel like fucking. Well, you just drove horrible LA traffic. I did. I had like a 90-minute drive across town. Cush about the Lakers. You're excited about it. They tried to buy soccer.

You switch with Mitch and Pet Jemmy It might sell your heart rate down a little bit That's true The roast No Acquired Taste here Love you Mitch and the whole Doe Fam Best Chris Roast at BirdFuck.com

That's way back to Jacob Mallorty Which we said 15 minutes ago Can I ask a question? Can I ask a question Lakers just signed Enis Cantor Freedom What does Jacob Malorty mean?

Like Jacob Allorty The actor What's the like Jacob Malorty? What's a Malort? Malort is a Chicago I associate with Chicago But I think it's like more just Midwest

Like DGSTF Yeah it's like it's like Melorty is he He's got a hangar as I say right He's got a big end Is that the room? Am I making this up? I don't know

I don't think of Lord has a Lordy shown hog on camera Is he Frankenstein? Does he not show his dick is Frankenstein? Does he show his dick in Frankenstein? Oh, Nostferato I'm mixing up my monsters Nostrato shows hog not Frankenstein And if he shows a hog in Frankenstein. That's maybe not his hog.

Oh, true. Came from some corpse. That's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. So. They found the smallest hog. That's a good, funnier dice, or a UCB sketch. That would have been a great. Small Dick Frankenstein? Small Dick Frankenstein. Why did you do this? Why? This is the role Mitch was born to play.

Yeah, no makeup. I would do it. Yeah, you'd be great in small dick Frankenstein. So, like, a long time ago, I'm just going to say, stuff. Yeah. They made this movie called Van Helsing, which was kind of all the monsters fight each other, like, like, CGI movie in the 2000s. Yeah, there's really, really bad, really bad CGI in that.

Stephen Summers who did the mummy, which I love the mummy movies. But like in it, Stephen Summers. The Frankenstein's monster character, who is a good guy in it, of course, he wears a a coat that is stitched together of other coats. That's fun. I kind of like that. I just like, okay, well, what would Franken's, he wouldn't just want to wear one. one coat. He's a bunch of dudes all stitched together. He needs a coat that's like stitched together

of like 20 different coats. And someone just like, don't tell them it doesn't make sense. Just hurt her feeling. You can just wear it. Fine. Who cares? I like, I like the different. Frankins a Frankencoat or a Frankencoat. Frank. Frank coat is funny. Frankencoat's months. We've talked about Frankenstein's monster coat is actually. We've talked about good, uh, Franken Foods in here before. But I don't really like Frankenfood. I don't need the mashup. I don't like the Franken Foods.

It's not, they're not as, they're not as, they're not as, they're not combining things oftentimes, I think make them. Sometimes things should be just one thing. Yes. Yeah. I, that's, that's how I feel about it. Why, because now you passed on your, I can't fucking talk. You're doing great. Sacks underwear is what I'm wearing.

Sacks is the brand. That's what I want to ask. I'm wearing sacks right now. Mike Spoh. Sacks for your sack? Is that the thing? I don't think it's trying to be... No, I don't think it's trying to...

I don't think it's trying to... I think it is a little bit more lofty than... Yeah, the marketing doesn't seem like it's cheeky. It seems like the brand is more... I mean, maybe that was the origin of it. Is it like Sacks Fifth Avenue? No, it's not that. It's Sacks with two X's.

Sacks Fifth Avenue. That's good. Now it's in there. It's not good. I'm keep doing it. I also... A pair of... Is a pair of thieves?

That is the... Yeah, that's the... other, but that seems like pair seems like it is trying to go for. Oh, yeah. Maybe Saxist, maybe all boxers are boxer briefs are trying this shit. I like the, I like the beams. I like, you didn't want to do the beams, but I like the beams. Beams they just said were like a little bit more, there were tighter and latexy, more latex.

Were those the reviews you were reading? Yeah. Hmm. Because I don't have a latex texture from mine. They get a little stretch in the stretch fabric. I wore in Haynes underwear for very long. I wore in Haynes, boxer briefs, which I do like, but I was like, I need to up my game a little bit and make things a little bit. I'm Mike Spoh now.

Yeah, and you're out there, you're hooking up on field, so I don't know if you drop in your jeans and have someone see a pair of Haynes. AOC is on the market. Did you get any anagrams? Was it just MacDome? Dom Mac? Emma, let's in him with a drop, please. The character is old guy commenting on Zoom or slang.

Okay. Back in my day, the only thing we would glaze is a honey-baked ham. Back in my day, drip was the glaze that would come off of a honey-baked ham. Back in my day, when they said, let them cook, it usually meant when I was going to bake a honey-bake ham. This is saying three of my friends enjoyed our honey-baked ham. Back in my day, we didn't ride the D, we baked the H. Hello, it's me, Judy, Judy Garland. What a fun bit that was.

That's the Jacob Mallority of drops. Delightful bit, the honey-baked ham guy, which we, of course, revisited in the Whitmer Thomas episode. We did, yes. To great success, I'd say. Yeah. Hi, dough boys, Emma, Amelia, Jemmy, and guest. That's you.

Back in my day, a drop was what my jaw did before I filled it with honey-baked ham. Oh, that's good. That's good. Love from Toronto, Alex. At chipped hip. on Instagram. Yeah, I mean, we got the drop, of course, and we also have the roast earlier.

And back in May Day, the only roast was what we were doing to our honey-made ham. That's true. That's also true. We have two ham-based little mini jokes on our kind of Simpsons wall of dumb jokes we haven't used yet. One is Homer gets hamnesia and forgets what ham is. That's really good.

I like that a lot. And then the other was more like just home-jonesia. like just homers at a party and eats all just the glaze off a ham. I like that too. That is really good. They're both good. Yeah, so maybe we'll find a place for it. Maybe not.

I've said this before, but, oh, you introduce our guests. Drops at birdfuck.com. Let me, yeah, I'll formally introduce our guest as I sit here, flustered holding my new yellow clipboard, wearing a new yellow shirt for the anime Sacramento days and some blue shorts that are kind of minion coated, I'm realizing. Mm, you know, I'm realizing. Mm, my minion coated. And they're Bart Simpsons coated.

This is Bart Simpson coated. Well, if he was wearing a shirt that was the color of his skin, I guess. Yeah, no, again, this is a, this is shirtless Bart. Oh, you're shirtless Bart? Shirtless Bart Simpson coated. Very fitting for our guest, showrunner of the Simpsons and co-writer of the upcoming New Simpsons movie. Matt Salman is back.

Yeah, you know. Check his Google searches for shirtless Bart Simpson. Back by no popular demand other than my own. But, you know, I am. By our demand. You guys are demanding. You're in a good way. If I remember correctly, we were just to have you, Matt.

You did. No, no, no. I'm just saying, like, I love being on the show more than audiences love having me on the show, and I'm at peace with that. I think that's just important. Look, they don't like, they don't like us. Yeah, they don't. That's the issue. It's kind of the bottom line of it all.

They don't like us. They don't like the Napa boys. There's, I mean, or it's just a few annoying people is what it boils down to. I almost asked Armond and Bug Main. to take out a few jokes after the screenings. I thought they were really inappropriate. And I was like to be funny if an old man, an old man, they didn't know, said, I think these jokes are bad for society.

And see, at the premiere of their movie, what their reaction would be. An old man in a show they used to like when they were little. Wait, do you, I mean, do you want to say what the jokes were? No, what are you? You don't have it. They're more just like, you know, just, I'm never out in public and I don't know how to behave anymore. Right. Oh, wait.

I forgot I had a Henry Winkler story. That is food related. What's that? When I was writing on Comedy Bang Bang, we had a, the writer's room was all out on, we were eating outside. We were eating on like, like, like, you know, some outdoor tables. Henry Winkler was there shooting a bit or doing something else, maybe something. It might have just been on the same lot. I don't remember.

But Henry Winkler was there, walked over. We were eating Chipotle. And he says, oh, you have Chipotle? Oh, I wish I had some. That's pretty good. It was pretty good. He was very, like I said, I forget, I should remember exactly what I would remember on a better day.

But after the movie, he was very, very nice to me. And then also the first time I met him as a CBS page, holding the door for him when he was going into, uh, maybe the late, late show. He was also very kind to me. You always remember that, like a very sweet, kind man. I've eaten Thanksgiving dinner with that man before I love. I love that guy. He's a great guy.

Back in my day. He's on an upcoming Simpsons episode coming up. You know, he plays an owner of a sports memorabilia store. I love that. He's great. Seems nice and then turns out not to be nice. Back in my day, the only page was the page of the cookbook with a recipe for the honey-baked ham. Pages are old.

Pages are from like the third. I mean, pages are better than not from the first. This guy's very old. He is very old. He's very old. That's fair. He's part of the lore. Also, by the way, Arm in one of the, I mean, still, he watches the, I mean, the, those, those, those, the, the, the seasons that he grew up on are the, are still very, he still is visiting them all the time. I'm familiar with that dynamic.

We should, okay, can I, can I reference your watch band? Sure. This is a Simpson's 700 watch band. That's pretty sick. 700. Look at that. And now we're up to. like eight something or another. Wow. That's wild. Did you have, did you get another watch band?

No, no. This is just the one. But, um, there's a lot of Simpsons shit out there. Yeah. I was, I remember when the, I've said this, I think, on the podcast before, but I remember when you created the Homer Twitter, which now I don't know. Yeah. Homer's still tweeting. You let, you let me tweet as Homer a couple times. I mean, I think you told me what to say or whatever. I trust you. Yeah. I trust you. I think I maybe tweeted Doe at one point. That's pretty good. I don't know, man. It's a long, it's a long journey. Back at his day, what? Back in May day.

We didn't share tweets. We shared meats off of our honey-baked hams. With this voice work, it seems like he's angling to get himself on the fence. I think he could be. An insult to everyone who's ever been on it. We should... We should... I've been on it in likeness form.

Yeah. That's true. It is true. You didn't even ask for it. I surprised him with a weird... I loved it. I thought it was delightful. It was an honor.

Yeah. I liked it. You know why? Because I did the voice on the show, which I've told you since the... Did a great job. I've critiqued my performance because now I'm like, I should have gone so much more Boston. You did fantastic. You never go half Boston.

You've got to go full-out Boston. S-tier. But I liked that I got to do a voice and I was this guy. But then also I was also a guy, I was also myself on there, which is the, that's a, that's a, that's a elite club to be a part of for me. I mean, I know it's a very, a very small form of that. But it was a, it was very, it was a dream come true for me. Well, all I can say is I hope when you die, that's like the main picture they use in your obituary. We'll find out soon.

All right. We got to discuss this breaking chues in the world of sports. The Lakers, Los Angeles Lakers. Laking Chews. The Los Angeles Lakers sold as of today for $12 billion in valuation to a group led by Bob Iger and Josh Kushner, brother of Jared Kushner. What a fucking world we live in. Yeah, is that more depressing than the Jalen Brown trade? I'd say honestly, maybe, yes.

I think it is because the thing is like your teet like the- She didn't have gloated too much about the Jalen Brown trade, my man. I didn't gloat. And the domino effect of LeBron going to Philly. Yeah, okay, yeah. That's true. There's a butterfly situation there. Like, now he wouldn't have gone there if Jalen wasn't there.

And now the Celtics, they might as well just be in full rebuild mode. Yeah. If it was like they were in half rebuild, just screw it, let Philly and the Knicks fight it out. I don't know. But that's ultimately like... I think the Celtics are going to be sneaky good. They'll be sneaky good. I would not be shocked if they won more games than the Sixers.

Because they're just like a well-constructed team. I have never rooted for the Sixers Downfall. Here's the deal, Philadelphia. Boston and Philly are very similar cities, and you give Boston so much hate over the years. I went to college, Philly people would be like, fuck Boston. I was like, we're similar cities.

There's no, I like Philadelphia. We're full of guys who like to get in fights. It's a very, it is. It's true. It is, it's very similar. I'm from the Boston area. Yes. And I went to school in Philadelphia.

And we did a Boston episode. That's right. But you were in. And we also recently. Which you see Thomas Cray in Public Library in the city of Quimby, Massachusetts. Quimby, Massachusetts. Very fun. And we did, we just recently aired a Philadelphia visit episode at Nangle Road.

That was our 800th episode. Right. That's really good. It has some nice dog content for you pet owners. Like really good emotional dog speech by Marge and fun other stuff. So, yeah. My mom, worked at Thomas Crayne Public Library for it.

And that has been Simpsonized as well. Wow. And her retirement, she worked there as on the board. I, I'm excited. I haven't watched this Philly episode. I need to watch it. I'm excited to watch it. But Philly, they're assholes to Boston people and they are the same.

And now it's over. I've been nice to Philly for so long. Fuck Philadelphia. Fuck the Sixers. Go birds, I say. No, fuck you. Fuck the birds, too. I like saying go birds.

They hated the Patriots. We never even did anything. We're not even the same. fucking, we're in the AFC and they're in the NFC. It didn't make any sense. I think it's a nice little rivalry between the second-tier cities of the Northeast, you know? You got your main cities. You got your New Yorks, your L.A., as your Chicago's.

But then you got your, your littler guys. Chicago claims to be the second city. I think it is the second city, yeah. Some of what underwear are you wearing? Well, you know, like, I'm like a Banana Republic boxer briefs guy. Okay. I was on those for a while. Like, you see, when you get, as the only Gen X person on this podcast,

either is close. No, you really, once you lock into a brand you like, you don't want to, you don't want to look around. Yeah. Right. You just like, this is what I got. I'll just wear this until I die. You never had that. It seems, you must have had the change at some point.

You must have changed over. I guess it must have changed. But like, you know, I got, I'm really locked in on, I don't think I never should need to try a new brand of clothes the rest of my life. I know all the brands, the six brands that I like. See, this guy's always trying to switch. Hoka, Thornlow, Banana Republic, James Purse, sorry, and Banana Republic. Well, they're just,

bougie. Okay, sure. I got it. Sorry, everybody. And then the Boxer briefs, the Banana Republic of Boxerries. I did, I wore Haynes for a long time and I liked them. And I'm not sure how I feel about it. I might go back to Haynes.

I have no idea why. You might go back to Haynes. You like cotton, it sounds like pure cotton. I do like cotton. Guys, these Thorlo socks are so comfortable. I, you know, I did a sock test and champion won my sock test. These Thorloes, like just... We can talk clothes sometimes on the pod.

Yeah. This is a lifestyle show. I like stance for the socks, although I've got to get, you know, I'm got to go, I'm realizing I got to go more off white as opposed to the pure white. So I'm going to make that change. I also like the no show socks. And then everyone's like, like, oh, no, you can't wear. the no-shows anymore.

I was like, can I go back to the no-shows? You can wonder whenever you. I was in a meeting with someone. I liked them. I never went to the no-shows just because they slip, and sometimes it can hurt. You can get a blister. I was recently in a meeting with someone with no-shows,

and I just couldn't stop staring at that weird little pink line between pants and upper shoe. Okay, yeah. I'm distracting. I didn't want to see. That's fair. In a shorts, I think it's good because you're going to see human leg no matter what. Right.

Long pants, a no show is a huge mistake. No, I don't like no shows. I've always like just quarter socks, I guess. Yeah. But you know what I don't like is like underwear that like, there's like underwear now that they try to promote that like holds your farts in. You know what I'm talking? What? I know.

So you can like marinate it? Yeah, what are you talking about? That sounds disgusting. There's like box or briefs that they. Maybe I'm just making this stuff. It sounds made up. I think that this is real. And it's too much like, it sounds too much like a diaper to me.

I agree with you. I think it's gross. It does sound like a tape. Yeah. All right. Back to the Lakers being sold. Back to the Lakers being sold. So here's the thing.

You root for a sports team. In professional sports, it seems like globally, all these franchises are tethered to some wicked billionaire at the top. And that's just the nature of things. And venture capital. And venture capital. Huge amounts of venture capital. And the, and, you know, and like Saudi Arabia or a Qatar.

I have to just pause you for a second. Jemmy has smelled the chicken wings that have come into here and she's sniffing the air. It's very cute. It is really cute. I'm trying to find the chicken. So it's cute as shit. Anyway, where was I going with this? There's some asshole at the top of these companies.

You're trying to normalize what the Lakers have done. Hold on. There's some asshole at the top. The best case you can hope for is like the Lakers' last owner. who's Mark Walter, who also owns the Dodgers, who's like a piece of shit and has done some bad stuff and is like, like, you know, but I say this in the sense of like not as bad as other billionaires,

but he is at least willing to spend the money to have his team win and like spend so much money on the Dodgers, having a world-class organization, the highest payroll, and the proof is in the pudding, the back-to-back world series titles. The hope was that that would be grapid onto the Lakers. It was funny, the proof is in the pudding, because pudding is not like in a,

elite food. Yeah, why is it the proof of, can we look up the etymology of proof as in the pudding? That's a great point. Was it, was, is this just such an old saying that, like, pudding was like, back then was like, this pudding is the best we got? I'm like, is you know what I'm saying? It's like, is this was like, that was the best they could do. I need to know this.

Yeah, I do want, I don't. I mean, maybe under the pudding skin, is there some kind of evidence that we need to know? Oh, no. I always like the old, the hot, the old time pudding that had the skin on it, as opposed to like the just kind of gel. Sure, yeah. Under the pudding skin, it's like a parody of a Scarletho Hanson.

Says the original proverb was the proof of the pudding is in the eating, and it was meant to be like you have to try the food in order to know if it's good or not. Got it. But they still were pudding crazy. They were putting mad. Can I silver lining, one silver lining for this Lakers thing? Yes. You know who's shaking in his boots right now?

Who's that? Rob Polinka. It's true. Rob Polenka, who is the team president who kind of, of, you know, runs the day-to-day operations and builds the roster. This is going to be game over for him. Yeah, he's probably, I would imagine he's probably going to be kicked out. But we'll see.

You know, that he's, he's had remarkable staying power in the Lakers' front office. But now we pendulum swung over to, you know, like from this guy who's like at least going to spend money to this, to fucking Bob Iger, who totally mismanaged Disney. I know our guest can't comment on this. No, he did a great job. Disney. Hello, wait a minute. I know our guest can I.

Iger's my boy. Can not comment on this. Iger is my boy. He took care of the Simpsons. 110 out of 10, 100%. I say, is that what you're pointing at me for? We love Iger. We love all.

Disney is, legit. Disney is super cool to the Simpsons. And that from my lane, there, we get white glove respect from Disney. We love you so much. Yes. Do you think Laguer's games will be on O-A-N? So Simmons had a theory on the way here. Yes.

I was also listening to Simps. That's how we're both in bad moods, listening to Bill Simmons and horrible L.A. traffic, that in order to get the Justice Department off of the current owners, but they sell the team to Kushner. The circumstantial evidence there is very suspicious. And also, if these investigations, so what's happening for context of people who don't know, Mark Walter, maybe as of this record, is no longer being investigated for SEC, violations or for insurance fraud. I forget what the fuck it is. Some sort of financial crime, some sort of white collar crime. And that these investigations were tied to kind of a quid pro quo of like, if you sell the team, then those investigations are going to go away.

So if they actually go away. We'll see. We'll see. Another winner out of this? Jay Moore. Jay Moore, yeah. Jay Moore is continuing to profit. Jay Moore, the spout.

the spouse of Jeannie Buzz. The kept man. The former owner of Blake. I'm excited to read GASping for Airtime, too. I did read Gaspin. I also read Gaspin for Airtime. Wow, three people who were writing Gaspin for airtime. That might be a record for Root.

I've read so many books on what it was like to work on SNL. I have SNL anxiety dreams, even though I've only been to one taping the Will Farrell and Queens of the Stone Age from the 2000s. That's pretty good. That is a pretty good lineup. Like, sometime back. Hey, Weiss, you voted for this. This is what happened. I know.

Reap what you're so bad. Can we just eat these wings? I want them so bad. We got to eat the wings. They're just sitting there. Are we pausing and eating or we eating them on camera? I think we can eat them on camera. Oh, you don't know.

People don't like them. Whatever you want. Let's just start distrowing the wings. We'll figure out. This is already a messy sloppy episode. We're going to get it going. I need the wings, Emma. Yeah.

Gasping for air, Mitch. I mean, you know I like to change the subject. Yes. You and are both brothers in the CPAP fraternity. That is right. And we very much want to talk about this lives. I kind of want to talk about that today. So, you know, I don't know what the quite organic conversation is.

But like, it's kind of been a game changer, right? It is. It is, um, hmm. So you're, hold on. Hold on. There's a lot to go over here. I know. I'm just starting.

That's a lot of batter. This is, okay. Those are very battery. So I, I, I. It is a game changer The CPAP is a life game changer, Wags, it's true. Do you have an AppGard? No.

Oh, wait, yes, I do. AppGard Medical. Yeah, that's the device. Yeah. Yeah. What do you say? Utensils. Oh.

Well, I was trying to say it off of Mike so that we could get... This sentilating CPAP conversation. Oh, we do. I... I... Why, you're not a snorer, right? No, I'm not a snorer. I mean, I sometimes sporadically snoring.

but not really. What I do have is because I've developed GERD, I will sometimes that will have acid reflux issues. So what it is, I got a wedge pillow. And so that some bitch has me sleeping on an angle. And it's a dream. What a disaster, Gerd for the nerd. All right, the show sucks.

No, it's good. It doesn't suck. This might be the episode where we jump the shark. This might be finally it. Here's a situation. Yes. We got a bunch of wings yesterday, and when we were leaving, we saw, we were just like true detective, we were investigating.

Chew detective. We were investigating, and they have the yellow king. We saw the gold king. Yes. We said, what is this? We didn't get this. It looks good. And then there was a red king.

We also noticed that we didn't get. Right. But then on our receipt, it said that we did get what, Amelia, the gold king. We did get the gold king. Which I don't think we did. That looks new to me. This is new. Yeah.

This is new. That's the gold king. I think they incorrectly rung up the sweet and spicy. Which I totally buy it. It could have happened at this restaurant, which seemed to be in a bit of chaos, perhaps a transitional phase. Should we say the name of the restaurant? Yes.

So we're talking about B.HC chicken. And by the way, as Mitch mentioned, we did go to BHC chicken. So this is a follow-up because there were some additional sauces that we were not able to try, partly because there are so many sauces on the menu and the minimum order size is eight wings. So we were already, like, had way too many wings. I mean, if a little historical context here, the first time I was on this show was Buffalo Wild Wings, like in 2014. So like 12 years ago, something like that. and we went to the one in Burbank, and I was like, we got to eat every wing.

Which we like. Which you like. That was fun. Yeah. And so that was like crazy. And so to go here and not get every wing felt like, you know, disrespecting history. It's an easier lift at Buffalo Wild Wings because I believe the smallest order you can get is four. And you can also split sauces.

Here, the minimum order size is eight. and no soft splits. So it's like, you know, it's just you have to over-order if you want to try everything. Selmanazza, you're one of the CPAP daywalkers because you're not a big guy, which a lot of CPAP users are bigger guys. I'd say you're a big guy in some sense and that you're jacked. We got to talk about your protein maxing. Well.

Is that causing the snores? Or have you always had been a snore? No, the snoring's been going on for a long time. And when did you start? When did you start the CPAP? Was it? January this year. Oh my God.

Just this year? Yeah. My wife, even though she's repelled by it and it is not like increased sensuality. Sure. In the marriage. It's a little difficult to be wearing. It has increased the amount of the most valuable commodity in any marriage is wife's sleep. So she now sleeps much better than I'm not snoring and waking her up.

My mom never, my dad was like a snore. I could hear him in my room from his room, but never bothered my mom for whatever reason. She just never, never, never bugged her. I don't know how she did it. Is the CPAP is fairly quiet? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he should have had one too. My dad definitely had some form of apnea.

And he was an in-shaped guy. So it did, and I, when I started using it, it was a very long time. It took me three months really to finally use it. Now I can't go without it. It's very, very annoying. Sometimes you just wake up and you think. you're in a coffin and you rip it off your head and you wake up and it's across the room and that's just not a good night.

That'll go away at some point, honestly. I had a medication change. And I started having extremely vivid dreams. And I was like fucking like, like, like, like feeling like I was in a, like I was in a different dimension or something. It was really, it's been really disorienting and it's really kind of fucked up my sleep, which is already, you know, no picnic. And we ever experienced that?

ever, like a shift in, like, intensity in your dreams? That happens, they say, when people stop smoking weed. So I'm sure, you know, if I ever stop smoking weed, it'll lose my mind. Got it. Wow. But, yeah, I definitely had dreams like that where I wake up and you're like, I was, like, on another planet in another dimension. Like, I wasn't here.

I was so far away from here. And it's like, you're living another life and your sleep. It's not even necessarily, like, bad or good. It's like, not like, like, like, specifically nightmares or, you know, dreams where I'm fucking and sucking. It's like, just like, really. Just whatever I'm doing, like, I could be, like, like, writing in a go-cart with my third-grade teacher, and, and, but it's still, like, it just, like, feels so, so, like, real and vivid. And then when fucking is involved or no?

No, I mean, not, like, no, not, wait, with my third-grade teacher? I don't mean that. I'm saying, like, you're saying it's not, it's not, they're not, they're just, like, weird planet. They're just weird dreams. It's just fucking weird and intense and, like, like, like, feels like being alive. in a different way. You know what I mean? Where you know like the dream like,

we know what a dream, normal dream feels like. Yeah. It has sort of a different texture to it. Mm-hmm. The hell, what the hell they got you on? I don't know.

It's maybe also making my pulse skyrocket. What the fuck's going on today? Wow. All right. I'm eating the gold king. The gold king is good. And we did not have this in the restaurant. I don't think we had it either.

This is just fucking great. Here's the issue. These are so messy. Hold on. I was trying to get one off. There we go. Sorry, Selman. Mitch and I have a napkin fight.

These are very good We might need to take a quick break A quick hand washing break That might be a thing we might need to do We can do that Mitch don't don't I'm having a second gold king Just be careful because the red king is spicy

And we know your incident with a spice eye Much like a guild navigator In the tune universe Mm-hmm Is that come from one of your dreams? Dreams Dreams Of Aracas

we're talking CPAPs. So we were, I mean, I don't know really what, do you check your score on the app? Then you get a score the next morning of like how well it thinks you slapped how many interruptions you had. But I always get mask needs adjusting. And I don't know how to fix that. I think it's on pretty tight. And then I always always just adjust when I wake up.

Do you ever have that problem? Yeah. It's just with tightening. Well, I don't know what kind of mask you have. This is another. Oh, I have the full. You have the full. I have nose and mouth.

Oh, okay. Because I can't roll the dice. I got the one that goes under your nose, but it's still. I have the hose that goes off the top of my head. It's like full Bane Vader craziness. I do, I've told why is this, but I do talk to the cats as Bain when I put on the, when I put on the C-Path mask. We have to travel with it? That sucks, too.

It does. Well, trust us. This is a big, this goes into now dough boys. issues because why when we get into a city we try to find distilled water. I always like to use distilled water. I don't use the water. I just said, who cares? I'm too lazy.

Wow. I'm too lazy to use the water. I just have it blow regular air. That is, that's insane. I don't know. You could do that. I mean, what does the water do? What does the water do? It's like a mist? It's like a mist. I mean, it just like, it, the difference in how dry it makes, it's, it's crazy.

Like, that would be waking me up. Interesting. I should try the water. You have a water tank. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It has a water tank. I love it.

If you think you need a CPAP, it's worth it to get a sleep study. It's huge. But just tightening the mask and kind of... You feel like it's pretty tight. I'll tell you my latest sleep score in a second here once I can touch my phone again. Wise, how are you doing over there? You're having fun? I'm just trying to take this show into like an aging...

I'm chewing, sorry. Aging area. I'm having a blast. I'm in Hollywood. Heaven. Right. Old King is great. Red King is great.

A little spicy and I'm a bit of a heat seeker. My only issue is... Not great. Not good. My only issue is that... Sorry. It's not... It's a bad sleep score.

I just gotta be honest. It was bad. I dropped a jalapeno. You know, you know me a spillmonger, notorious for spilling. I dropped a jalapeno in my lap on my shorts. It's truly, I see it right now. It is really... You're holding it together with your crotch.

I'm holding it with my crotch. So I like much like a... a person on field with a very specific kink in the Dune universe. I have spiced dick. Do we need more napkins? We might need more napkins, but I think... Honestly, we might need a carpet steamer. We might need to just redo this episode.

Shut the fuck up. You're doing great. You're vested. This is all flats. I mean, I don't want to get ahead of my score, of course. Never would. But like... usually I'm drawn to the flat

of the wing you have the drumette and the flat I feel like I'm drawn to the drum here I like the drum I like drums more than flats though I do like flats I like both I say uh flat give me that drum drum give me some that's good those are both positive

I like them both you like both of them I live in both worlds but I like flat better if I had to pick one I'd say much like a Dick Tracy's nemesis, flat top, flat top. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I like that. We had had this, we had this wing, the furthest, right? I think that's, I don't know. It's spicier than I remember. It is spicer than I remember as well. Which one is that one? What's this last one in the end? Red King?

No, it's not Red King. That's Gold King. That's Red King. What's the third one that we got? Oh, it was Sweet and Spicy. Sweet and spicy. Sweet and spicy. Didn't we get sweet and spicy? see? There was, this was part of the debate of what flavors to get that you all had, there was one that you had yesterday and we weren't sure which one we hadn't gotten, you hadn't gotten yesterday. So we're like, let's get all three and you'll be able to tell once they're in front of you. So I guess if that seems familiar, then that's, but now it's only caused more confusion. We've had that, we've had. Okay. I think we've had one of them at least. So we, all right. It was this one. That's the one we had. Let's, let's stop. Let's wash our hands. Let's, yeah, let's, let's finish here. We're going to take what Emma is just characterized as a handbrake.

We'll be right back with more doughboys. Hey, buddy, you know, Mitch, I'm curious what kind of shopper you are, because I'm someone who likes to do a lot of research. I can sometimes get in that thing where I'm, like, just trying to hyper-optimize every purchase, including clothing. Well, for me, usually it's, if it fits my big body, I'm good to go. And sometimes it can be uncomfortable clothes, but, you know, I don't always have that issue. Yeah, and maybe you're starting a fitness journey or you're a gym regular looking for better gear.

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I thought the lower prices might meant we'd have to compromise on quality, but it's certainly not the case. Once we tried it out, I mean, it's just, I've got some hoodies I've been wearing on repeat. I love those hoodies. They're free, they're so comfy. Nice and soft. Yeah, nice and soft. I'm wearing their, their athletic shorts with a built-in liner. I'm wearing their socks, their, their quarterized socks. Wow. I got the whole, my general, my default workout apparel these days is head-to-fabletics. Well, guys, you're looking good. And here's the thing.

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What a disaster. What a debacle that was. Your shorts are covered. My shorts are absolutely covered in wing sauce. I did not realize how much I was damaged that lone jalapeno did because it was sauce to fuck. What am I to eat in the studio with, oh my God, why am I putting it up there? I'm nervous. With new shoes, the shoe god spared me, I think.

That's a blessing. I'll tell you what I was dodging left and right. Meals Marino just freely eating chicken wings out in the hallway. fucking dumping shit all over the floor. She looked at me when I walked in the kitchen and pointed it, chicken on the floor and went, well, Jemmy, eat that? You were doing, you did multiple. It was multiple.

Well, that's because you asked me to hold the garbage open for you because you dropped a fork in a minute. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. Mitch didn't drop a fork in the trash. Okay, I went into the, I went in there, I poured my trash, my plate into the trash. There was a fork. I said, oh, shit, there's a fork in there.

Meals is like, oh, it doesn't matter. I didn't say that. You were like, it's lost, it's lost, it's considered lost. But even before this, I was like, shit, I dropped a fork in there. It's all right, I'll get it out. And I look over and Meals was throwing shit in the trash. It didn't register. You were throwing stuff in the trash right after I was like, I got to go in there and get the fork.

It happened literally seconds after you said it, so I didn't have time to process what you had already just said. So it was. Yeah, yeah, no, I know what happened. The timing went like this. Oh, no, I just threw my fork in the trash. I threw trash in. No, that's such bad. You are to control.

I'm, I'm, you are to control. I'm more with Mitch on this. I don't know. I believe women. Because I was a witness to that. I was a witness. I was in the kitchen. Mitch said, oh, shit, I dropped a fork in there.

I, I, and then you came over and threw trash. And there was like a beat. There was not. It felt, it was like Sherlock Holmes level of, like, slowness. She has muscle. She's a thing called muscle memory, and that is to throw things away. The muscles were already working independently of the mind. I don't know what the fuck she's talking about.

Yeah, what's the Sherlock Holmes thing? Do you know how time slows down for him when something? Oh, I get what you're saying. He notices all the clues. Okay. Got it, I get that. But if time slowed down, she'd that have made you more aware of the forks in the trash? I'm not Sherlock Holmes, I think, is the thing.

I didn't have that. Look, I was going to roast headgum because I went to get forks, and there were literally only four forks in the kitchen. I was like, why are there so few forks? And I was going to rose headgum for it, and now I'm realizing it's our fault. No. We've been tossing for.

Because I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. No one here is throwing forks away, and we're throwing forks away. We're going to recovering them. Meal said, it's a lost cause. I said, I'm going to use the flashlight, and I went, I got it.

I recovered the four. So there's still four for forks. I give this fork story one fork. I got to say this. Yes. I mean, shoe god spared me on my first day in the new shoes they did not spare your shorts no i'm sorry i'm i might have to lose these shorts and just be sitting here my sacks underwear there's just so discused so brewing i don't

it's it spared my underwear but i'm gonna say this covered in all that sauce uh you i would eat your shorts i was sort of waiting for that to come i'm sorry have you noticed i mean i have a problem myself i'm look at this i you frequently eat standing up and spill food on the top of my shoes. Yeah, I hate staining shoes. Sho stains are tough. Why, her does it, I went in for a root canal, which is, I went in for a successful root canal.

I got to get a capped still, but it was successful. The operation was successful. A great, what is it, endodontist? Endodontist. She was great. Jimmy's still sniffing the floor for food. But she was like, because I went in there, I was like, should I do this or not? And then she was like, it's up to you.

and she's like, and then I did it, and it was the best decision I've made, if you're waiting to get a root canal, like NATOids, my buddy, just do it. Just get it done. It made a huge difference, but I went in there. I think Mitch is getting paid by Big Tooth. In my mind, like, they're in there and he's out, and they pull out a full, uneaten turkey leg. Like in the cartoon, like, Snoot.

How do you get a full giant turkey leg stuck in his mowlers? There it is, I guess. With bone. This ties into it I put my feet up And Wags knows There was a ketchup stain I've told this on the past episode

But there was a big huge ketchup ketchup stain on my shoe And shoe, I think shoe stains are the most embarrassing of all the stains I feel like for some reason I think they're pretty Pretty gross

Because it's like you're so slobby That you got food on your shoes I feel like that's a pretty big Right? Well it's also like If I saw something like a guy with shit on a shorts I'd be like yeah that happens Right. Sometimes you shit your pants.

Shit on your shorts. Sometimes you shit your pants. That happens. Unless you get that fancy underwear people are getting. Yeah, that fancy underwear, they'll let you. Diapers. But I'm saying, like, I understand. I mean, I guess shirt is the, even though shirt is, like, unsightly.

You don't want, like, I think if you see something on someone's shirt, you're like, ooh, that's tough. Like, if I'm judging stains, I think shoe stain I judge the most, because, It's like you're so sloppy. You got ketchup on your shoes. I think it depends on the shoes. It's like dirty old sneakers. I'm like, who knows what that is.

Okay, that's fair. But like you have brand new shoes. Apparently there's something on Wager's shoe. Yeah, because Jemmy is, Jimmy was trying to lick my boots. This dog is. You're no boot licker, Jimmy. This dog is like 10 out of 10.

I think Blue Lives Matter. Jimmy, you boot licker. I root for the Lakers now. Of course. Chew lives matter. to keep doing it. Keep going to keep doing it. When you were talking about boot lickers with Jimmy, I thought you were going to be,

you were going to be talking about our surprise guest yesterday, who I am very submissive. Oh, yes, right. When you want to talk about submissive. Right, not me. Okay. So can I, can I some context here? Yes. Please.

Yes. Okay. Yeah, go on. We went, again, to mention. We went to BHC chicken in person. And like, I, as someone who has like a one-sided relationship with this podcast, in my own mind, like in my mind, I'm. mind, I'm gay. No, no, no, no, I'm

Gabrous. In my mind, I'm like the Gabris of this thing. I'm 100% like I go on tour with you. We hang out all the time. We're like, we went to UCB together. We're in a herald right now. It's like a psychopathic, single white female craziness, one side of thing. And you

introduced the burger craze to me. I've said this on every time you've been here. No, I know. I used to your father, thine. Your father, Tyne. You're part of the time. But I am proud of the fact that I've been like the chicken. You don't throw her on, bitch. The chicken guy. I have We've always done, we've always been mainly for, if we have fried chicken, we did. Oh, what?

Now how do you feel about it? No, I was going to yes and it, but I didn't want to cut off something. We did the chicken sandwich challenge. We did the place that went out of business in Venice. We did, we've been really, you know, a lot of fried, I've been able to hit fried chicken all, and so I was very flattered. And then I was listening to you guys did Gus's with Sean Clemens. That's right, the Clemdog.

And I got a feeling that I called Domo. That's right. It's the doughboy's version of FOMO. I love it. He's, wow, Sean is reviewing my favorite fried chicken and his sort of snide, sarcastic, meta. Am I fucking with you? Am I not fucking with you?

Do I even know? Can I turn it on? Can I turn it off? And do I have any control of this? And I'm just like, God, it must be hard to be him. Anyway, great writer, very funny guy. So. Did a great job with the dink.

I watched the dick. I laughed. He's a lot of fun. He's a real writer. He's the real deal. He's the real deal. Anyway, so I was so excited to hit this chain with you. And I mentioned it to someone at the office,

someone that Mitch used to work with besides me. Now, it's never come up before, but Mitch did work on The Simpsons. And there was someone who tortured him much worse than me. Yes. Like, I didn't really torture him. We just had fun together, except for the peanut butter. I made him stir the natural peanut butter.

Stir the natural peanut butter. And I didn't care for people who were going to get mad at that. I did not care. You understand that it was before me chew. Meechoo changed everything in how we treat food PAs. You know, but it was before mechew. Got one, one move. But there was a...

I think Meechew went too far. Jimmy, eat food liquor. I feel like I'm in one of your dreams, why. In one of his lucid dreams. So our amazing line producer, Richard Chung, who's one of my favorite people in the world and is one of the reasons the Simpsons continues to be excellent and we continue to have a fun time

and we can make, we have a great work environment and we make a product that I'm proud of, and we take care of a great person. And he's just a great person. And he loves to destroy Mitch with his, I don't want to hurt his feelings, but how would you describe his personality, Mick, Mick? I should call you a Mick.

That's racist. That's racist. That's what it's a portmanteau of Mitch and Nick is Mick. Yes, it was not. I love Rich. I don't think that he would have an issue. I don't think he would have an issue with me saying that he has a very catty personality. Catty.

Caddy. Caddy. I mean like. Jimmy did, Demi does not like hearing about this catty guy. He, uh, he likes the, uh, he likes the fire thing. He may be catty, but I'm real bitch. We are sorry.

Please make a Reddit thread about us saying. Oh my God, no. You can't get into fights with people. Everyone relax. So Richard is very elegant with a great sense of couture. He's like dressed so fashionable. And I'm someone like... Looks fantastic.

Looks like he did when I was there. He looks great. He's up his game significantly. Every day he has a different... It looks better. Glamorous umbrella with like a crazy umbrella head, like a duck or a Sherlock Holmes. He's a Sherlock Holmes. He's a Sherlock Holmes.

Holmes umbrella with a Sherlock Holmes head with Fier stalker. I mean, his sartorial game is a thousand out of a thousand. And this location was right by... Five forks. It's five forks. This location was right by the Grove and Richard joins us. And I realized I'd met Richard once before at a Simpsons event

you invited us to a Treyhouse of Horror screening and at Premier at Universal in Simpson's line. And he was probably giving me the same amount of shit. That's the thing. I was like, I was like, this is familiar because I remember him just roasting Mitch to a crisp. He loves He loves roasting me.

The first thing he said to me, he said, oh, my God, you have a neck because I've lost a little bit of weight. No, he was like, it was as if we had written a thousand zings for him to just keep unloading them on you. He had stored them up for however many years I haven't seen him and just unleashed on me. I'm going to say this. I like it. I am fine with it to our listeners. I like this rapport.

I think it's funny. And I love Richard. He's a great person. It was good nature. I will say as a neutral observer. Yes, but he destroys me to the level where I think of our listeners... There was body shaming involved.

I think if some of our listeners heard, they would be like, this is, he goes, every time he sees me, he goes nuclear on me in a way. It was as if me too, as if mechu would never happen. By the way, when I was there every single, every single day, but I know he also loves me. Richard, you love me. I know it, too.

Hopefully we can put this photo on the video of this, the insert of Richard. It's pretty damn. Being appalled by Mitch. The picture sells it just beautiful. There's also so, so Selman and I were there, and then Richard showed up, and this was before Mitch arrived. So Richard was already, was on deck for Mitch entering the restaurant.

Mitch also. He understands it I'll be like. I worked for him for maybe just a year for Richard. There was a, there was a, there was a, there was a, there was a, there was a, there was fun moment initially, Mitch, where you were so surprised and immediately so flustered, but then you went to give him a hug and he could not have given you less. Like, just completely resist. Hard record.

I also loved at the end where I was like, you're going to stay. And I was like, you're going to join us in the dope. You got to eat. You got to have the food. And he was like, and he said, I don't eat food. That's what he said. And then he left and went shopping. Yeah, we were chasing the grove.

So he was, again, very fashionable man. I was envious of a sense of style. And immediately was, it was skipping the meal to go shopping at some luxury apparel stores. He's the best dress person I know by a factor of 100. Yeah, I asked, I was like, because, you know, I like to, I like to, I like to try to have my own sense of style. And I, I'm not in his level, but I was asking him for spots because he was like, I do my shopping mostly at Century City. Was it be nice to you? Yeah, who's being lovely.

Yeah, it was nice. It's funny. I could never break that. You can never break that cold with him. I've always, you know, like, when he was nicest to me, it was like in sad moment. And when I was like, oh, this is like, he's being very sweet to me in like tough moments for me, which is very, which is very, which, which I like, it was very sweet. Mitch, are you working out though? You're lifting?

No, I'm taking creatine. I thought you might like this. Yeah, I'm on, on and off on creotene. I can't, I can't quite decide if it's, if it's good or bad or worth it. But your arms look big. I think that I think that I just have been It's slowly now is decaying I just have been lucky and I've worked out in the past

And now it's just is slowly going away But I need to, I've taken creatine for Because it's good for neurological reasons They say you know you got you get those big guns You're looking like Nirvana the band's Matt Johnson I'm directed Tony Why is he so musseling? He's fucking jacked He is jacked

When he takes the shirt off in that movie You're like whoa this is like a new vibe here for this guy. Yeah. I mean, you can be, you can just be a big mussely guy and do other stuff. I'm going to get to the bottom of the end. So I've sort of been like protein maxing. Yeah.

Trying to eat super clean. Like today for lunch, I just had an egg white, eight egg white, two yolk, asparagus omelet. That was my lunch. Why skipping so many of the yolks? Because yokes have like cholesterol and heart stuff and I'm not young. Yeah, sure.

my face indicates. So, like, I'm just kind of using my body as, like, a middle-aged science experiment now to see if I, with the exception of treats like this, I can, like, what kind of magic I can accomplish by, I mean, no, only high protein to low calorie, but healthy, healthy, healthy fiber diet. Wow. I, uh, so you went off the, you went off the creatine. But I might go back on.

But you did, but you went to a CPAP. You have a seatpap. Which I'm gonna now. Also, sleep is a big, you know, for gains sleep. We know I quit, as we all know, I quit drinking. That's bad for working out. Sure, yeah. It's funny now when I will, when I don't get, if I get like four hours of sleep, which is bad.

That's bad. If that does happen, my brain is mush the next day wise. Maybe that's what's going on with you. I didn't get bad sleep. I had a funny. I had a weird segment. sleep where like I woke up at 2 a.m. and was awake for two hours and then fell back. So I was like sleeping in shifts. That definitely disoriented me a little bit. Saman, I hate to do this to you.

I'm here. My score 100 out of 100. What? Wow. Let me see that. Eight hours on the nose for sleep. How about that? Oh my God. Well, if only the app guard social media app had it become so far right, we could like talk about this stuff in the in the in the in the app chat. Like everything else It's been the extremists Have taken it over I want to show you this

The Mass Seal Good On on I don't understand You'll get there But only 0.6 events per hour That's so good Pretty good Wow

An event is the number of times per hour He wakes up to masturbate To point six That's pretty good It used to be like 65 Emma So Richard's there And he's yeah

Mitch is showing more scores. Those are my scores. Pretty impressive. Damn. I have envy. Yeah. Richard was there. He was there.

He's going to shopping afterwards. He's like, and he was like, I do most of my shopping. Don't usually shop at the Grove. We do most of my shopping at Century City. And I said, what are your spots? Where do you go there? Because, you know, I'm looking for tips. And he says, everywhere.

And it's like, fuck. Alpha is hell. That is Alpha House hell. And I'm also surprised that he even, I mean, I think this was a little way of him telling like, I ain't telling you where. I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think there was a little bit of that. I think there's a little bit of like, I won't, I won't disclose my secrets to me young man.

Yeah, you don't, you don't deserve him. He would also start, if he got to know you, he'd also start shitting on you quite a bit. I'm sure. He was, he was being friendly and, you know, because we're acquaintances. I'm so lucky to be, I mean, a creative and business partnership with this man. It was a lovely, it was a lovely, it was a lovely surprise. It was a lovely, I was very, very happy to see him. Even though, he did not, he left, he went shopping.

He left and he did not have a single bite to eat. B.HC chicken, which we did eat on site. We had never, we've never reviewed this chain, obviously. This is one of these Korean fried chicken chains that are more and more of these are popping up in L.A. and in the U.S. at large. There's actually, I think, a few different locations scattered across the country of B.H.C. It's not just. They're mostly in Southern California.

But there's a location in Fort Lee, New Jersey, D.C., a suburb of Atlanta. But it's mostly in South Korea. But it has over 2,000 locations worldwide, and it is the biggest Korean fried chicken chain. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, I mean, it's like it was not really as much on my radar as a place like BBQ chicken, which we also best of best quality. Another acronym chicken place from Korea. BHC stands for Beul Hana chicken, which means one star chicken. One star is one fork in their language.

But in English, you know, but in English. BHC got retconned originally to mean big hit chicken and then got retconed again. Well, I was going to get into this. Yeah. We were trying to guess what it meant. I guessed Beverly Hills chicken chicken, which for a Korean chicken spot was not a great guess, but we were trying to figure out what it was. Would have been fun.

I was going to guess Big house chicken, but big hit chicken is... Big hit chicken. Pretty good. Then they changed it to what I don't like as... I don't like as much better and healthier choice. Not true. It's not healthy at all. No.

And it is also like that's a very clunky acronym. So I think they should go back to big hit check. So when we walk in, Mitch, what's the big bombshell when we walk in? We look at the menu and huge bombshell occurs. We'd prepped before we figured out a game plan before Mitch arrived because the signage has discontinued over all the chicken portions except for wings and tendies. So it's gone from you could get like thighs. You were like the chew detectives in there. We were the chew detectives in there.

So we had to figure something out. I was Matthew McConaughey. And Wags, who were you? Who's the other guy? Wood Chew. Woodie. Harold. Harold Chew.

Woody Harold Chew. We're in there. Like Matthew, what was it? Mathieu. Matthew McConaughey. and Foodie Harrelson. Okay, foodie Harrelson. Playing Chew Detective.

Playing Chew Detective. You know, there's a Simpsons episode called, I'm sorry, I know none of you have ever watched one of a Simpsons episode after season 8, and I'm fine with it. The money doesn't know, the money doesn't know whether you watch it or not.

We did an episode called Q Detective once that was all about a mystery in the world of like kind of amateur barbecue. That's very fun. Anyway, Disney Plus. I liked my tree house of horror name, which was Michael October 31st Mitchell. And I told me-A, you went meta.

I went meta. Was that two, was it too UCB-ish? Was it two? My mom and dad, I think I told you were mad. That was my name. You didn't go like, malicious. Yeah, malicious Mike Mitchell.

Selman, what's your go-to? No, every year it's a traffic ticket thing. Matt Warburne had a great quote, which was, I never met a meta joke I didn't like liking I like I love awards He was like the Oscar Wilde of the group

I don't know I just do a new one every year and I try to make it something either really straight or really complicated or you know I just have a kind of a Google doc of like old pitches and you know Can we name it one year?

Yeah sure Okay we'll think of something You guys yeah you guys do whatever you want My mind went to bat salmon, but I know, I'm pretty sure bat graining it. He's done a lot of the bat, splat, scrat, you know, he's done all those. Matt Fudy Harrelson Selman. Not even, not even, not even, not even Matthew McConaughey. I have to be the other one.

That's good. So we, we resign ourselves to only getting 10 Ds and wings because that's what was available. So I was going to ask the guy, like, I did ask the guy before we even got there, like, like two detective, I was like, okay, why aren't you selling, you know, wings and real drumsticks, which were the only two other, nothing, or thighs. Yeah, thighs and drumsticks. There were wings. And language barrier became an issue.

Got it. So I bailed. Yeah. I wonder if it was unique to this location. Perhaps they were just out of product or maybe that stuff just isn't selling at the U.S. locations. A horrible location, by the way, which we can get into a little bit. That location is just, it's, it's, I mean, look, you're near the Grove and near the farmer's market, but it is like on the outside of the grove and the farmer's market. Right next to a Chipotle.

And it is a, that feels like the dying lot of all of that stuff, right? It's definitely like an isolated, like, it's like if you have a, because the Grove is like this outdoor mall and it's hoppin and it's always packed and the restaurants there are always jammed with people. but it's like a little island outside of the grove. It's like a place that's been exiled from the grove. So it's definitely not getting that level of foot traffic. Yeah, yeah, it's not a great location. It's bad. Before you got there also, I saw a husband and wife with a baby carriage go in,

think about ordering, leave, not order, in again, not order leave, in not order leave three times and then left. Oh my God. What's going on there? I don't know. How long has it been in this location? Do you know that, why? I don't have that information in front of me.

So, yeah, I don't know. I know that the U.S. outlets have opened pretty recently. Like, this is not an expansion to North America that's like, you know, having 20 years ago. And it's the vast few years. Yeah, I had an incident when I arrived because I took a, I was coming from something else. So I took away Mo and I didn't want it because I didn't want to deal with. Grove parking. And so I got out of my Waymo and I get dropped off right in front of the headquarters of the Writers Guild of America. A union we are both members of. We're all members of.

They should sell that building and just put it into the health fund. I'm going to run for Writers Guild president on a one issue platform. Just sell that $30 million building. Yes, right. Put that into the health fund. Yeah, right. Who cares if we have a fancy building? You could put a like, they would turn that into a lot. I want Mitch be able to get his IVF so you can have baby with the cats or whatever. Hey, we don't know what's going to happen in the future. Anything, yeah, we're already crazy stuff, we're already happening. Mitch could be in a cat's junior situation.

I would, what a dream. Yeah. Anyway, 2003, I did some extensive research. I texted it to you. I was going to reveal that. Why don't you just say it? I don't want to interrupt the flow of conversation. You should. That's your job.

Yeah, no, but you guys were talking about something else, so I texted it to Mitch. And it all worked out. So three years. You can always cut it. For a place that's been open for three years. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I guess it was popular while we were, people did come in and eat in.

I just think it is such a bad location. It's a bad location that might be part of the issue. I don't know how it's performing. I don't know how the other stores are performing. Getting in the grove. I mean, I'm happy it wasn't in the grove because it would have been a pain in the ass for us. Yeah. but it wasn't pain in the ass for you anyway

you were circling you were in front of the Writers Guild building yeah so you get dropped off of my Waymo in front of the Writers Guild building I'm crossing the street there's another pedestrian by me and the loudest vocalization I've ever heard a third man

comes towards the both of us and shouts at this man with a force the other guy with a volume that if I did it on this podcast it would blow your speakers out It would blow the speakers out and it would like wreck my vocal cords for a light. He just like barked at this guy like, bleh.

Like it was just like, it was so fucking thunderously loud. And the other guy was like, ah, what the fuck, asshole? And I thought they were going to get in a fight. And the other guy was just like, sorry, I just can't take the lies. And I was like, okay, this man is unwell. And then they both walked into the WGA. That's the, these are the hot, these the bat shit Hollywood people that are writing your scripts. Creatives, they don't play by the same rules.

But that was like really... That was really disorienting. And so I had that, like, kind of like, you know... Discombobulated a little bit going in. Your Waymo was, like, relieved when you got out of the... Thank God. He's expecting some kind of assault. Sitting there alone.

Anyway, so I go into the Farmer's Market. And speaking of bad locations, so the Farmer's Market is... is an adjunct but is part of the grove. And it's where there's a bunch of different food stands, including, like, you know, a butcher that's been there for 65 years, but then right next to like... It's cursed to stay there for 65 years. But then right next to, like, an artisan, like, fucking ice cream parlor that's just opened or whatever.

I never go to that farmer's market, but it is fun, right? It's fun. And so I'm walking around there, and I was expecting B.H.C. Chicken to be in this space. I walk to every single, like, I do a full lap. Tough. I make a pit stop in the sticker store, looking for some. Simpson stickers. They didn't have them. And then I, uh, and, and then I, like, exit and I was like, I can't find the fucking thing.

And then I was like, I bet it's over where the Chipotle is. Were you, were you going to give Selman a Simpson stickers? That would be funny to bring Stimson stickers. We could all have them. I was, I was running about 10 to 15 minutes late. I'm going to say this. We decided to go to dinner that day. That's true. I mean, I'm flattered to be in the dinner club, the pre-dinner, the pre-podcast live eat club. That's flattering.

We still do it. We still do it. Especially because we had a set amount of time that we had to record today, and now I'm not going to make that thing anyways. So it's fine. Do you want to, I mean, because there's a thing. We could give our fork scores and then you could zoom the rest of the podcast. No.

Okay. No. I would never do that. First of all, to Selman. Second of all, to dough boys in general. I already sounds like we might be just like canon this one anyway. Look, we already got the chicken. Look, we're not canned this tree.

There will be heavy edits. Is there like a deeper reason no thighs, no drumsticks, like some kind of supply chain issue or like is it lack of sales or is it like inflationary pressures, that kind of? Yeah, I don't know. I wonder what it is. I'm not quite sure where whatever the explanation is. We're playing shoe detective and we couldn't figure out. By the way, Mitch, could you say heavy edits again?

Wait, what's that? The thing you said about it, there may be heavy edits. There will be heavy edits. And then Emma's being, like, because you're going to be editing things anyway, so you can, like, edit this in. Every edit of the doughboys is a heavy edit. Jesus Christ. All right.

So, Emma, you'll just kind of stitch that together. Yeah, somehow. Awesome. All right, we've made another edit. No one's going to know where these edits are because I'm such a magician. That is true. That's true. So leave that one into show, and you leave that in, and then you can make the joke that that was bad.

Yeah. I mean, as short as you want to make this, no one's going to complain. No, but more is more in podcast. It would be funny if we released a 40-minute episode out of nowhere. They'd be very upset. Or maybe they'd be happy. Who knows? So we go in.

40 minutes. 40-minute episode, oops, all B-words. We order almost all the menu, right? Almost all the menu. But what were the names of those, the dust? the dusted dry Yes That was

To me that was the most intriguing Of the whole thing Those are fried And then I think hot fried This is this is a new B word for me The Buboo wrinkle And I'm not quite sure how you say that

Bberinkle Burinkle? Barenkel? Yeah Barenkel wings And I said it sounded like Bullwinkle

It does kind of sound like bullwinkle Winkle Wings So the bullwinkle wings Sounds Yoshi-esque Doesn't it? Brinkle? Burinkle

Like a noise he would make Yeah Yeah Pretty good. I like the name of it. I like the name. I liked the taste of it. Those were fucking great.

This is their signature seasoning. And it's like a sweet Cheeto powder, I guess is kind of how to describe it. It's powdered as fuck. Like, it's powder like French toast. Because you could actually dip the other stuff in the surplus powder. Yeah, so much power. I think this is the... Mitch did the line of it.

Not the hot stuff. No, not the hot stuff. The hot stuff with the... Save your sinuses. Man, it would fuck you up bad. Yeah. This is like the killer app of this restaurant. Yes.

It's kind of like a flavor spice powder from Dune, whatever, that you've never quite had before. So this is almost like a new color in the spice rainbow. Aracus. Which is always exciting. Yeah, Iraqis. No, you're totally right. We've had versions of this. And I don't remember what was called Burinkle or not.

But we've had versions of this. It's Boorinkle. I looked it up. Boo wrinkle. Thank you, Emma. That could be my Halloween name. Amelia, if you'd look that up, would you have said that or texted it to Mitch? I would have texted that.

I almost texted it. Is Iraqis where the, is that where the sandworms are and everything? Yeah, that's the desert planet where the heart is the spice. Yeah, I would not want to go to Iraqis. I might be getting an Iraqis phobia. I wish I knew what the spice was a metaphor for. June is the least subtle allegory you've ever seen. I mean, it's like, it's a, yeah, the planet, it's called planet Iraq, basically.

And then the emperor is named in the book, the book is, he's just called the emperor in the movie, but Emperor Shaddam. It's just like, you're not, you're not being subtle about it. We have a, I'm just going to keep saying stuff like this. We have an upcoming Simpsons episode that is sort of a parody of Dune. I love that. Called bog, though. It's about a bog planet with a kind,

but with Dune Dune Elements. So it's... I'm going to be watching that one. I hope so. I mean, it's sort of... Is it a treehouse of horror? No. You know, in our dotage,

the show's Dodage, we have the freedom to do to do big, wild parody swings of whatever we want. That's fun. I like that. We just got to do big different stuff to keep the show fresh.

Bog Planet is fun. That's a fun new biome. Yeah, it's called Bog. And it's kind of a... you know, it's a lot of satire of science fiction tropes and particularly like super self-serious, like Dune type science fiction, not Star Wars, Star Trek,

like that stuff that everyone's tired of. I love it. I love that. Bog. Look for bog. Look for bog. So the boo wrinkle, the hot boo wrinkle winks.

What do you mean they edit out every time I said Simpsons? The millennials, they don't like New Simpsons. They don't like it. They don't like anything. They like Field. They like Field. I think Field is... It's insane.

I got to get on this thing. Don't get on it. I just want to see what it is. I'll do an episode where you make you a profile. Okay. I have no social media except for letterboxed in Field. And a deviant art account, I'm sure.

Do I have a deviant art? And the AppGard community, of course. That's for us. I might have a deviant... You might still have your deviant... How often are you submitting your drawings? The hot The hot brinkled wings were noticeably the spiciest thing there.

So spicy. A bit of a heat seeker. But that was an intense heat, which I liked. I liked the combination of sort of this, like you were saying, this new flavor, but just amped up a little bit. It was bold. Yeah.

I mean, this is the reason to go here to try this interesting spice combo. It grew, and the spice, I'm lucky I didn't get Spice Eye yesterday, but you got it today from these wings, by the way. I figured out it wasn't Spice Eye. Oh, no. Yeah, no, it was Tide Pen Eye. Oh, that seems maybe. It's probably worse. Yeah, it's maybe worse for eye overall.

I don't know how bad that, but yeah, because I had to, I tried a tide pen my crotch and then I had like some residual and I touched my finger and I touched my eye. Oh, no. But it was, it was fine. A great brand of natural stain remover that Nangle and I use is called. Puracy Puracy. Yeah. Maybe we get them

as a sponsor, guys. I mean, how do we get sponsors? Puracy. Sounds like heresy. It also kind of sounds like it's like a, like a zoomer way of saying pussy, you know?

Sure. Yeah, puracy. It also sounds like, it does also sound like a, like a. It really works good. It also sounds like a Mark Wolfer Gap.

I mean, it does sound like a Mark Wolper Gap. Right, yeah. So you wake up, you wake up, and wake up in the two in the morning, pray for two hours, work out for two hours,

talk to the kids about Jesus for two hours, take the kids to school, work out. Yeah, make business deals, and then go to sleep before the kids get home from school. Remember we had that idea

that we were to make you guys, you were under the rock lifestyle and you were going to do Mark Wahlberg lifestyle? Yes, right. I mean, that's probably past. I think when now we get a switch to both

just doing Paul Walter Hauser. Is he doing that? I think he's a big, I think he's a big time, like, you know, like I get up at 4 a.m. And then I work out and then I take, I make my kids breakfast and then I pray and read the Bible. Like, he's posted his schedule. If I go to bed of four, if I wake up at 4 a.m., I'm going, I mean, what time you're going to bed? Like, 9 p.m.? Yeah, I don't know.

I just, I kind of feel like all these guys are liars, right? Don't you kind of feel that way with like, you see like Walberg's schedule is like, no, you're not? I told you. I saw him on the Fox lot when I worked at the Simpsons. He said, hey, nice jacket. when I was wearing a red Sox jacket. For that reason, he's not guilty of anything

he's done in the past. Was he off for a jogget 2 a.m.? It was, you know, it was kind of late. I'm surprised that he was still awake. Wow. He was nice about the jacket. A fellow Bostonian, we've reviewed Walburgers,

his burger chain on the pod before, and thought it was all right. Yeah. We got a better spot today. I went to, remember I went to the Hingham Wallbergers that went many years ago? Hingham is the rich town. that's the rival to Quincy.

Ah. Well, Milton specifically, but Hingham also. Hingham's another rival. It's kind of like you got the, you know, you've got the intense Nick Celtics rivalry, but then you've also got that satellite like Sixers Celtics rival. To put it in Odyssey terms, it's the Skilla and Cribbutus of Quincy. Right. Yes. Summer of Odyssey.

Anyway, I just want to add since the subject of Walberg was broached, the man was already blind. So all he did was beat the shit out of a blind guy. That's, I drove you by that spot, not intentionally, but I said, hey, that's where it happened. Yeah, we were in Boston. Yeah, they put a plaque up. No, we did not. We had no plaque. We had no plaque.

They took down the statue of our famous basketball player and put up a plaque there. Bill Russell? Yeah, they took down Bill Russell's statue to put up the statue for that. It was unanimous by the city council, too. On this site in whatever fucking year, Mark Wahlberg committed a hate crime. And then you came back to my place and my mom gave you that pig transformation soup.

A little pig he ate it all up. So we're like, my wife, we go see, we go see Odyssey, we go to the scene where they're eating the pig transformation soup, like slurp, slurp, slurp. My wife looks at me and she goes, that's how you eat.

You would, I think, unfortunately be one of those guys. I mean, also I would too. Oh, my God. I would 100% be one of those guys. I would be like, who cares there's a tiger and a dinosaur flying around? I'm going to eat this stew. I know, the sad thing is I know no Odysseus, so I would just be, I would be a pig.

You'd just be a pig from that point on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Richard, Richard doesn't eat. Maybe Richard would say of all of us, but. So when I was a kid, Matt Damon was adjacent to a little kid friend group I was in. Wow. This is a good lore. That's great lore. So, like, he

wasn't like my friend per se but I would see him at birthday parties in another kid friend group and like some sleepovers or like if he was he was he was cambridge yeah Cambridge newton kind of area and uh the kind of like Howard zinn lefty parent world of Cambridge in the 70s and he was charismatic winner back then too no doubt yeah that's wild no doubt I like him I love I'm a big Damon fan I'm all in on Damon also super jacked in Odyssey. He's very jacked in Odyssey. He's very jacked in water out of sleepover.

Oh my God, never. We would never dare do that. Is this your pivot away? He was alpha. He was alpha, solid alpha. Yeah. Whatever sleepover he was in, it was his birthday. He was the big dog.

If it wasn't his birthday, it was his birthday. It's funny because you think very down to earth, but then also at the same time, movie star guy probably, like him and Affleck alphas, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're I had encountered young Affleck, I don't remember. There was a kid with a giant dragon tattoo on his full back, but I don't know if that was... Oh, my God. No, no. Morah, Africa, that dumb tattoo.

I like that tattoo. I like those guys. Yeah. I'm not even a Boston guy. And I also like the Odyssey. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the Odyssey. I should have been a hornier.

Yeah. I like that. I like that critique. It's an oddly, I mean, like, because especially Obinheimer didn't have to be as horny as it was. but there's like sex of duty of that movie and I was like well Odyssey which is a horny story so much of it is just like this guy who's like

you know fucking around on his wife for while he's gone for 20 years there's going to be some of that but it's like any of it is basically implied some pig tail yeah so let's see a little pig tail see a couple pig tails also terrific book you can put it you can post it on DVD

if you're interested in the literature of the Odyssey the book Circe is a fantastic read from the perspective of the witch lady who makes the pig slop She goes

Meals just nodded at me like I did something wrong You were saying I should read it from the woman's perspective Is that what you're trying to say? But it's not just like a Oh it's wicked Where Wicked O gets in it didn't feel gimmicky

The way everything is okay From a different person's different side character's perspective It's really great book Does you go into like To make the perfect pig transformation soup Is there some sort of chapter like that? They go deep into her like witchcraft and how she slurps the slops and all that.

I like that. Wow. Has anyone ever mentioned a book before on this podcast? Is that the first time? The classic fried, so the tendies we got were the classic fried tendi and the hot fried tendi. Those were both, I mean, I thought they were both, they were both solid. I like the tenders. They didn't have too much, like they had, they were crispy.

They were crispy. They were, they were decently seasoned. Let's note this. Everything was fried to oil. Everything was fried to order. So we were waiting, we're a good 20, 25 minutes. I think that's good. I like it too. I'd rather have it be fried to order. Very, very, very, very crispy. A lot of crispiness going on here overall. It's a theme of this restaurant.

In fact, there's a big crispiness theme. After this, after the, after the meal, I went over to Whole Foods because there's a Whole Foods next door to the Grove. And I picked up a few things. And the guy who was checking me out said, he was, he was like, what, like, what, like, what, just asked me how my day was going. And I said, like, what's going on?

What happened? I'm checking me out? I'm just listening to this story that seems like you're maybe making it up as it goes along. This man was checking me out. This was not a dream. Check out human was checking him, he was not being picked up like street trail or anything. Oh, that's the,

it's a verbiage thing. No, that's what I was thinking. I was just like, what the fuck are you talking about? I went to the Whole Foods. I picked up a few groceries. Went to Whole Foods.

Before I went home. Went on your field app. Yeah, said artichoke, me massage, anal, question mark. Question mark, question mark.

Zero results. The Whole Foods worker who was checking you out. He was doing, like, scanning my items. Yeah, checking out. No one is equating it to that. People seem thrown by the verbiage. Okay. I wasn't, oh, Amelia was.

I also was. Okay. It was a flirtation story. It was not a flirtation story. No one was flirting at me. No one was flirting at me. Jesus fucking Christ. I lost it.

He had to drive. Now he's walking away again. He's going to go flirt at someone. I believe that no one was flirting at you. I believe no one was flirting at you. Come back. He needs to move his body. He just needs to move his body. He's going to wiggle it out.

Can you turn the air down even more? The air is at 59 and the fan is on full blast. 59? Yeah, we're at Whole Foods. Yeah, we're going to open that. A checkout man is bringing up. The cashier is ringing things up.

And we're like, we just make small talk. He's like, how's your day going? And I was like, pretty good. I just, I went to. Show me that little pig tail. I just went to BHC chicken at the Grove. You've been there. He's like, no, should I go?

I was like, well, you know, it's pretty good, but everything's fried to order. He's like, I like that. So there you go. The older you get. Can't wait until this guy gets out of her getting old. An observation about getting old. You know, like when you're young and you see old people talking to cashiers and waiters and waiters and like the Amtrak ticket taker. you're like, that's so embarrassing.

Why are they making small talk, trying to be friends with young people, and just they're bored and lonely and don't know what they've lost, what's social? Yeah. It's fun to do that. It's fun to force a young person to listen to your nonsense. Yeah. It's super fun to start an inane Larry David style digression with a person who has to listen to it who is young and doesn't care. Yeah. We're trying to fight for doughboys becoming required listening in, uh, in the middle,

schools and high schools. That would be good. Yeah, I mean, I guess that that meandering anecdote I just told that did really go anywhere was kind of part and parcel for that. And no is forced to listen to it are two employees. Jimmy left the room. Like, I love starting conversations like the Trader Joe's checkout person. I'm talking to everybody. I love it. I'm chopping it up with everyone. And like the older and weirder I get, the longer these things are going to be and the more annoyed the Tader Joe's people are going to be. I talked to the young kids, but they think I'm one of them. I was in, when I was in Japan, I traveled there for the first time earlier this year.

Good for you. I mentioned before. Yeah, it was a, it was a really much. I don't love travel, but that's great. But it was a lovely little trip. But I speak a choto this Japanese, just a little bit. And I was just talking to everybody, though. I was just like making small talk with everybody.

And I guess that's culturally not a thing they do there. But everyone loved me. Like, as a result, I was just like, they were just like, oh, who is this, this white man making an effort to speak Japanese? This guy is, this guy is my, my guy. I wish I was there to Big Dog, yeah. I could have won them over more. No way you would have big dog. I'm a big guy.

I'm a big guy. No way you would have big dog me in Japan. Oh, they would have loved me. No. You don't know, you didn't invite us on the fucking trip. I'd start, you know what I'd do? I'd fucking roast your ass in Japanese. You know what they'd call him over there?

Slothra. That's pretty good. Yeah. Not body shaming either. Yeah, that's not body shaming. Oh, remember thinking of the WGA, remember when I said a million years ago on a podcast that Mitch was in the WGA,

the Weight Gators Association? I would never say that now. You can't say that anymore. I would never say that. That was before M.C. Before M. We're most meet you. Mechoo.

Okay. So, anyway, we got the Bood Rinkle Wings. Fried to order. Hot Boat Rinkle wings. Coal. The tendies, the hot fried tendinges. Cheese balls. The sweet and spicy.

wings, the macha king wings. So these sweet and spicyes were the repeat. We got every flavor. We got every flavor. Every flavor available. And then we also got the... Bulls split today. The boo-ring cheese balls, you mentioned, the coleslaw, the pickled radish,

and I had a sparkling water. And I had two Diet Cokes, which you also had. We had two Diet Cokes. You both had two Diet Cokes at like 8 p.m. That's a bold move. But here's the thing. That spice, there was no other... I needed... I needed to... You need something to cool it down. I needed something to cool it down.

And I was a good spice Like they should sell that spice Yeah Like the way they sell everything Sprice You know everything bagel goo Like Tater Joe's Should get in and just sell boo wrinkle spice

I would not be surprised If that happens It was I was I was hurting at one point with that With the boo wrinkle spice Hey buddy A Good Night's Rest sets you up for a great day And that's why I'm so happy

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That's Helixleep.com slash doughboys for 27% off site wide. Exclusive for listeners of doughboys. Can I say something about everything, bagels, by the way? Please. They're like an invasive species that have taken over bagels and completely eradicated the natural onion bagel. The onion bagel is gone. The onion bagels, like, in my opinion, top three

bagel. Everything is not great. It's too strong. The garlic is overpowering. Like, Indian bagel is top three bagel. Everything is like bottom 10. And yet we didn't have to get rid of the onion bagel too great. To have the

everything bagel everywhere is nice, but we didn't have to get rid of the onion bagel because of that. Yeah, I mean like if you like your mouth tasting like garlic the rest the day, everything bagel. Here's my issue with everything bagel. It's, you're correct. It is over, there's oversaturated. But it's like, it's just unga-pachka. It's just like, I'd rather have these flavors

individualized. Look up unga-pachka in the bagel dictionary. What is your Mount Bagelmore? The Encyclopedia Bagel Tannica. My Bagel Moore is onion, pumper-nickel, egg, only three. Wow. I guess you double up on onion. And Trump. I go onion everything. Whoa. I know. I do like everything. Don't get me wrong.

I like everything. The third one is really hard. Honestly, garlic might be my third favorite. My first flavor. That's very similar to onion and bacon. I mean, they are all similar. Let me think. Oh, sesame seed.

Sesame seed. Reverse Dracula ass. Sesame seed. Sesame seed is in there for me. I like sesame seed. Sesame? Hmm. Sesame.

Sesame. Egg. Hmm. You know what I like sometimes? And I know it's got too much going on. It's not a true bagel, but like a jalapeno cheese bagel. Okay.

Fun? I was thinking like a cheddar bagel. Yeah, because I'm a bit of heat seeker. Also, not protein maxing. Yep. Bacles. Right, not protein maxing. Not protein maxing.

Is that worry? Is that worry? Like, I'm trying to think of what. Oh, salt. That's my other one. You gave four. be clear. Yeah, we're doing Mount Bagel more.

Oh, I need a fourth one? Yeah, didn't you give it? Didn't you give four? Salt is kind of fun. If it's too salty, you can desalt it, which is kind of a little bit of a stem, right? You guys like stem, right? And I also like to... Young people are all about stimmed now. What the fuck is stim. What's stem? No, I thought I was referring to stimming. Yeah, like stimming. Right, like things you do to calm yourself. Yeah. Oh, that is. Calming, calming behaviors. Oh, okay. I didn't know. I have no idea. It's kind of like fidgeting or like petting a dog or...

They're young. They're young. What's when you show stuff up of your dick hole? Is that stemming? That could see someone's stem. No, no. Yeah, I mean, if that's how you calm yourself down. You've got to get the field app.

I have an acquaintance who has experimented in this world. Wow. Yeah. I'm really madly googling this. It has a very specific name and I can't remember what it is. Because I read about it because I read it about a... The retrial sounding. Sounding.

Sounding. Sounding. Why is it called sounding? Because you're going, y' ouch! What you do it? That's the setup of the day. Back in my day, the only sounding was the sound of... Back in my day, the only sounding was the sound of a...

The sizzling honey-baked ham. Or just a peg going up your butt. It's very vanilla compared to an erythrole penetration. You made me feel insane. Yeah, it's his fault. It is his, I mean, it's partially his fault. This has been a weird one. It's all fried to order. Everything's fried to order.

Oh, wait, wait. Did we finish our Mount Bagelmores? Yes. Who gives a shit? Do you want to leave? No, it's over. I'm not going to be back for three years. We've got to... We'll have you back before... No, it's fine. Always leave one and more.

It's fine. Oh, my God. Pick up your fucking paper. No, he's good. Take a half hour to print the... fucking thing out. He's allowed to have a hard day. Everyone is doing a great job. I think the episode's really funny. I've been smiling

here for... Shut the fuck up. It's true. I think the energy from the dais is fantastic. Great energy always from the dais. You guys are giving some good stimming right now. Good stimming. There's a guy on YouTube I'd like you to say that too. So where should we? If we talk about our reviews?

What should we do? I think that I really like the Tendies. The Boo-Rinkle, We've already raved about the hot boo wrinkle. I think we're like, you know, get legitimately spicy. What do we think of sweet and spicy? And what do we think of the Macha King? Oh, no, we didn't get the Macha King. What the fuck was the last one we got?

I thought it was the Masha King. And then it was the red one. And then it was the red one we got. All the, for me. We ordered a Macha King today. Okay. All the wet ones blurred. No, no, no.

I mean, at the, at the restaurant was the other. So Macha King was the receipt error. What was the actual one we actually is? I think that we got the Macho King. Yeah. the restaurant. No, we got sweet and spicy. Can we look at the menu? Yeah. And just read, we didn't get sweet and spicy. Sweet and spicy is red. The Macha King one, I just had the menu up. Here, let me put it. I think the Macha King one has like the jalapenos on it,

which is what we got today, correct? So that one was the Macha King. I think this was the Macho king today because it has the jalapenos and peppers on it. The sweet and spicy has no peppers or anything on it. How many kings do we have? Gold King, Red King, and Macho King. There's a third king. I actually think we've got. all the kings today. Is that what it was? We did get all the kings today. What are the three kings on your Mount Kingmore?

They're only three. Oh, shit. It was funny in the show. Susser is funny. Whenever he's on, I love his persona and his controlled persona. I really makes me laugh. See, I will argue with you on this one. Top kings.

Who are the best kings? We're not doing the top kings. No, macho, red, and yellow. There's only three. So we all have the same three. Okay. So we had three kings. We three kings

We three kings All right Deis come on What are you doing More like three wings You saw how much You see how much he's losing His mind

He likes this He's It's our job to take care of him He just said We three wings He's crushing it right now Usually he's so in control It's kind of fun

To see a hard day I'm on moored Should we do our fork scores Yeah let's do it Okay great We talked a lot Hey Unmored

Good sequel to gasping for air time Wow, that's good. That's callback of the day. Callback is sort of the bread and butter of the podcast comedy, right? That's true. I've done it 70 times today. But, like, that was fast, unexpected.

Right there, right there. Good twist. Five forks. Coal saw was very creamy. Five moors. Five calls. The pickled, the coleslaw was very creamy. Creamy.

The radishes, I would say, are just an. essential burst of clean. Yeah, definitely. It's a huge savior. Yeah, that's just useful to have. I feel like that's just an essential component of any one of these fried chicken experiences. But we'll get to our Fork's Gore. Selman, you're wearing the Five Forks hat.

You are Father Tyne. You are well versed. And now this podcast works. Your thoughts, your Fork's Quar. All right. Walked into the restaurant. Felt the thrill of eating as many wing flavors as we could jam in our mouth.

The wet ones were the worst. They didn't do much for me. There was a lot of soggy batter and peel off and a lot of gooey fried sod feeling and then wet meat underneath. Would not order again. The bulrinkles were like a new thing I'd never experienced. It was, I would definitely go back and eat those. A weird spice.

I would dip the fries in it. I would dip other stuff in it. A great spice. So that's like the unique charm of the place. However, and I'm on the record for the one person who thinks about me on the show, which is me. I'm anti-tender in general. I'm pro on the bone, anti-tender. Tenders are for kids and babies and would never order a tender on my own.

These were fantastic tenders. They're really good. The crispiness was so crispy, great spice, great crunch, did not feel like a, baby food like most tenders do. So that really took me up to three forks, two times. Wow. Three forks, two times. Drag down by the wet, the wet wings where I feel were like a big miss, a big miss.

But definitely I would go back and go and get the, get the, the bowl wrinkle and the tenders. Wow. The crunch on these wings is you can You could probably hear it outside the restaurant wise Not on the wet ones though Not on the wet ones I guess it is a wet pie Maybe I'm anti-wet

I mean that could be part of it I haven't well you are because you told me that you don't use any Distilled water in your chamber I do put bullwinkle in my chamber The spice I'm gonna put that in there The spice in there If you're anti-wet

Drake meme Aracas yes wait, no, that's backwards. All right, I'm going to fix this in the edit. If you're anti-wet, the Drake meme, Pandora, no, Iraqis, yes. Mm-hmm. Or you know what, that could have all been

Navi-related, I'm realizing. A cleaner version might have been water navvy, no. Nash Nevy, yes. That's true. Then it could have been more of like you're born to Vong than Natira. You know what, Natiri? No.

Wow, Natiri's not the best example. You want to just take it again? I'll fix it in the edit. Look, when Disney, when Disney buys the, which we will like, then they can put all these together. We'll put it all together. The avatars will go to Dune. The avatars should go. We all, all, we want the avatars to go to Dune.

They have to go to Dune. They got to, they'll go to Dune. All the IPs have to meet. Oh, I love it when IPs meet. Jake, Sally, Ryan, one of the big worms. Can you imagine? That would be fun. It would be a lot of fun.

And you know what, biome we haven't seen yet on Pandora? Desert. So how about that? That's true. That's very true. I met the kid who plays the human in Pandora. Wow. Wolf, for whatever his name is, the little boy.

Spider. Spider. Spider, yes. You met Spider. I met Spider. I met Spider in my Hollywood ramblings. That's wild. That's really cool.

Seemed nice. Yeah, it seems like a little. million men. Like a nice guy. Like he lived in New Zealand for many years. Yeah. Nice place to live, too. Cameron showed up in an alien screening the other day.

Look, I got to get to the review here. Yeah. Okay, sorry. You know, I'm just a Hollywood player. I got to drop all these names. I wasn't even at this screening, but it looks, it looks, oh, you're the Hollywood player. I thought you were my James Cameron reference.

All right, back to the review. Wags, I'm going to get a little Simmons talk going here. Ooh, good. But Buffalo wings, they've had the crown. for so long. You know what I mean? They're like the, you know,

they're like the Patriots dynasty of wings. They have the belt, if you will. They have the belt. The Buffalo wings just are, they're the top, they're the Patriots dynasty.

But doesn't it feel like Korean wings are kind of making the, like, it feels like Korean-style wings are like making the move on Buffalo more than anything else. I'm not saying they're going to topple them. It's that frustration of any team

that played the Patriots in their run, even if it was a really good team. But I feel like the, I'm really going Simonsie here. But Korean-style wings, I feel like, are the- Compare each wing to your favorite 1990s SNL character. That's a great. That's my Simmons take.

That's really good. I thought it was good. That is good. I'm just trying to go back to my nose here. So Sandler is like Buffalo. Sorry. I mean, Sandler would maybe be Buffalo wings. I think Sanler would be wrinkle wings, right?

Oh, we're not saying off your own. Maybe Farrell would be, oh, you're saying all the wings for today. I don't know. I just like to make fun of Simmons. We all like to make fun of Simmons. He's a great character. The boo-winkle for me would be, yeah, would be Sandler today. Here's my issue with it.

And Amelia, you kind of notice this. Like Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Crums. Oh, yeah, Sherlock Holmes. You know what? We said Sherlock Holmes a lot and we didn't say Sherlock Crumbs yet. So that's, that's on. Honestly, here it's Sherlock Meets because we were, we were, we were, we were, we

both noticed this that the, and I noticed this at the sit down too, the actual meat of the chicken was like a little bit tough. Interesting. And I thought it was great. I thought there was a great fry on all of them. And it didn't bother me that much at the restaurant. Today I experienced it more than even the restaurant, but I did notice it at the restaurant. I still thought that the wings were delicious.

Don't get me wrong. I thought they were really, really well done. and I know that that's, you know, whatever the gaminess of the chicken is. I don't know how much you can control. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I, overall, I really, really did like, I really, really liked these wings, these BHC wings. And I do think that Korean-style wings do,

it does feel like that there's more and more of that pop up, like more and more Korean wing restaurants popping up. But like the most famous Korean wing place, you know, it's been around quite sometime, Keochan, right, can hit the scene like 20 years ago like their wet wings are way crispier and less like bad peel off batter

like it's they I don't think I don't think these were double fried yeah that's okay I'm just I'm workshopping this now sorry to interrupt your analysis before the fork score but like the Keochan they're like double fried for ultra crispiness maybe they were but they wasn't in that double fried

ultra crisp with with with the because with the Keochan glaze it doesn't sog it out And Bonchon, we love Bonchon as a six fork. We love Bonchon, the birth of the six fork for Mitch. I don't think we reviewed Keochon yet. I don't think we have. That's been around for quite. It's been around for a while, yeah.

I love Keochon. And really just the two flavors there, right? Like, don't they just do the kinds of things. I don't know. Yeah, originally. I still had a good time with these wings. It was great seeing, as the surprise seeing my old boss, Richard at the restaurant. Richard Chung. I didn't know if we had said his last name, so I went, no.

But Richard, Richard Chung. Richard Bleep. Richard Chung was there. And that was a great surprise. I'm going four forks, well. I thought that it was a four fork, four fork worthy. I thought you guys were going to maybe say five forks. You know, we didn't get the rice noodles, which I like a lot.

What are those called? Oh, yeah. The rice noodles and the red sauce. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yes, yes. Yeah. I got remember what that dish. I love that dish.

We didn't get it. But I would have liked to try those. Yeah, we didn't really explore much of the cave food side of the menu. That was in part because, yeah, Selman, in addition to being Father Tyne, you are designated a chicken correspondent. And we want to do a more chicken-focused exploration of BHC chicken. Here's what I'll say. To your point, Mitch, you're characterizing this as a wing restaurant. But it's not supposed to be a wing restaurant.

It's supposed to be a chicken restaurant. This place, as far as the chicken side of the menu, was only offering one quarter portion, which, Uncar Plut, maybe he was in the kitchen. Maybe he was making the rules. He might have been back there. It might have been back there, because that's how this place seemed to be operating.

Not just for my short shorts, also in my protein consumption, I'm a thigh guy. Give me them thighs. And I was more than a little disappointed that the only chicken portions that were available were wings and tendees, which I am also not a fan of.

And it felt like a cover-up, it happened. It felt like a cover-up, it happened. We're in the midst of a cover-up. No one likes cover-up. And I'm in there like Foodie Harrelson trying to play Chew Detective with Matthew McConaughey. And instead of the yellow king,

you got the gold king and the Red King. And the macho king. Three times of problems. Yeah. And time is a squared circle of wings. Is that what they said on that show?

Yeah, time is a flat circle. Flat circle? I'm not going to go up to all the way up to five forks. Time is a flat circle. I'm not going to go all the way up to five forks. I will say at a lovely time

going to the restaurant. I had a lovely time with my friends. I had a great time getting to spend to have a conversation with Richard and seeing him. Joyful. Just roast Mitch

for the entire time. And it was a good experience. The service there I thought was very kind. I thought the guy was, like, you know, the guy up front of the house seemed to be a little bit overwhelmed with the volume of a business, but he was. And maintaining the cover-up. Maintaining the, whatever the cover-up was.

They do have gloves there, which is great. No, no wipes. No wipes. No wipes. No wipes. And the bathroom was out of order. No, but it was science. It was a really, it created more cover-up.

sign said bathroom out of order then he said I could use it and I'm going to go wash my hands and he seemed to he gave me the go ahead to do whatever I needed to do so I just feel like they were trying to keep LA riffraff out of the bathroom

right and only the people who ordered 90 wings per person can use it but it made the whole interaction all the more confusing it should just put up no WGA and when I went in there all the thighs and drumsticks

were just piled up I would have loved thighs. I would have liked drums. Because then the ratio of battered of meat would have been better on the wets. I think it would have been so much better with if we had thighs. We did not. I can't go up to five forks. I think I'm going to be in the Handholding Club with Father Tyne and say three forks, two times.

Can I reference another wing restaurant? I don't know if it's a chain or not that we've been going to at work. Yeah. But I really like. It's called Saucy Bird. Have you heard of Saucy Bird? I'm aware of Saucy Bird. I mean,

we go there at work sometimes it's a whole different world of wings but they're doing great I don't want to go too deep into it I'm just saying they're doing great work Jimmy has snuck out of the studio Yeah she left

It's fully dark out there Because no one's at headgun as usual And the AC's not working And I gotta say it's kind of given me Vibes like she's up to some sort of no good Like is she committing crimes It's too quiet out there Yeah what's she doing

All right, true detective. I've heard of cat burglars, but dog burglars? Oh, my God. That was our review of BHC chicken. It's time for a segment. Can Waymo drop you off at a mental hospital or no? If you say weird enough stuff in it, they just take you there. I've had a very strange day, and it's being reflected in this podcast episode, which will not be coming out.

I like Frazel Lager. You didn't sleep well either I didn't sleep well either That's big deal I didn't sleep well I had a bunch of shit going on Are you coming from a falling down situation Just you gotta let us know if so

I'd loop you in if I was doing a falling down You guys would be the first to know But then also just like I hate being late And I was like 15 minutes late Because I was a fucking horrible drive And I should I try to get over the studio Early on days where I have to go cross town

And everything is fine It was just a fucking mess. Everything's fine. Anyway, it's time for seven. The movie falling dough would have been different if he could have just called the Waymo. Right? It's true. It would have been a shorter movie.

It's true. Technology has made storytelling harder because it just eliminates dramatic situations. I feel like a falling dough. Like if someone wanted to make a parody of that poster, that might be fun, fun fan art. Yeah. That could be our Christmas specials here. All right. I'll like it with my DVNR account.

It's time for a segment. It's a debut of Food You Rather. Each round, I will give you a food real. scenario and you tell me which one you'd rather. It's would you rather with food, but food you rather. All right. I love it. Here we go.

New segment. A new segment. A new segment. But no song and funny lyrics. Oh, Amelia, we should have a song and funny lyrics. Hit it, Emma. Food you rather. Food you rather.

It's pretty good. Food you rather. Look, an improv is happening. Food you rather. Food you rather Food you rather It's food you rather Royalty free too

You guys are gonna do that to him On the day that he's having I'm gonna recycle the tune to the combinator Oh yeah that was the combinator Oh fuck combinator's so good Can we do it? No Do the damn segment

I haven't be the one who says this We should do another combinator episode Let's remember the combinator for me We'll do the combinator. We'll do Combinator 2. All right. It's time for a... It should be like,

Combinator 2, judgment guy? Chew? Judgment Chew? Combinator 2, Judgment Chew. I was going to think of Judgment Day. I know, I know, but I was just saying, that rhymes. Fudgement Day. Fudgment Day.

Fudgment Day. Fudgment glaze. Fudgement glaze. This man wants to go home. No, I don't. Food you rather. I want to go home. Food you rather.

Give up pizza forever. You have liberty to leave and zoom in on your commute. It's too late. Food you rather. Give up pizza forever or give up burgers forever. Pizza. You'd give up pizza forever. Mitch, I think I know your answer.

This is so hard. I actually hate this. Food I rather. Because pizza is your favorite food. Yeah. I don't think I could go out without pizza ever again. I love burgers. I mean, I don't.

think I would kill my, I think the answer is I kill myself. Okay. Can I do that? Yeah. You might be doing it a lot of this case. You would know, you would die by suicide. Right. You would die by suicide.

We don't say that anymore. Oh, sorry. All right. Chewicide. Die by chewicide. Fine, I'll just choose pizza over burgers. I hate it. I'm a miserable existence from here on now.

I'm going to say you have liberty to, for any of these to unalive yourself instead of except the either or scenario. Okay. So you can always go the third option, unalive myself. Okay. Um, here's another one. Oh, and I should say, I should say my answer, which is, although I am the burger boy, I love burgers, I think I'm on team Mitch. Wow.

I think if I was like, like, I could go meat free. I could live with that, but if I was like, like, it was in that scenario, then I'm like, well, I still want to access to pizza because pizza can be so many things. Yeah. Whereas burgers can kind of just be one thing. Can you still go in and out and get like a lettuce wrap? Does that still count or no, it has a burger patty in it? I don't think you know. No more burger patty.

No more burger patties. I think that's what's going away. I think of brown beef isn't going away permanently? No, I think you can have tacos. I think you have ground beef and other scenarios, yeah. It's not a patty for him. I mean, Amelia can weigh in on this. You want my answer?

No, you can say, no, you can just have a... I want your answer. What's your answer? You might be surprised by this as an Italian-American, but I would choose to... I would choose to eat burgers forever over the pizza. What's your answer? I think I would probably keep pizza.

get rid of burgers. It's tough. It's tough. It wasn't tough one. It wasn't tough one. I mean, I could, if you told me I could never have pizza again, I'd be like, okay. Yeah, yeah, all right. Wow.

I mean, I like it. I've had a lot of it. I've had a great run with it. I've delivered, I've given you a lot of it. Oh, yeah. Mulberry Street. We're still good, honestly. Marlbury Street's not a bad pizza.

We used to eat pizza off his back. We would make him lie on the writer's room table without his shirt, we'd just put the pizza on it and it wasn't sexual. We'd upload the field. It was just about humiliation. Johnny's and Mulberry I've eaten at Mulberry

Street Pizza no exaggeration a thousand times in my life Wow I couldn't I couldn't 30 years on the same show where we get

this thing once a week I generally couldn't I couldn't I still like it the number I couldn't guess the dollar amount that Simpsons alone

has given to Marbury Street Pizza it's it's I tried to convince them to name a sandwich after Homer and they wouldn't do it that's insane or whatever, or off the show or whatever they wanted, just to give us a special. I generally think that you've given that place hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Oh, for sure. And Clementines also. Then Clementine's number two. Okay. I like Clementines. Oh, yeah, I like Clemintons. Have you, and I don't want you to break any NDAs on anything, obviously, not that you would. But, like, have you ever been involved on?

Because, you know, there'll be like Simpsons theming of, like, you know, like food at the, at the theme park, for instance. Like, they'll be like a Simpsons name. Because one thing I- I name it all. I'm in control of it. Wow. So there's going to be breaking shoes. There will be some specialty new items at Universal Hollywood with new donut flavors, new milkshakes, some other new items that I'm not freedom to discuss.

And they're great, great partners. People in business say all the time, we're great partners. And they send us the food that they were going to do. And we with their pitches and sometimes we like that, that's great. And sometimes we came with our own. In fact, we named some stuff today. Wow. Spoiler. That's not supposed to say that, but who cares?

We name some 7-11 stuff. If you want us to bleep, we can believe it. We'll bleep in the name of the chain. I mean, it will create mystery, which is good. Yeah, that's good. And then, yeah, look, here's the, here's the thing. Here it is. Here's the thing they save us.

Right? So for the mystery place. This is huge. I want to see this. Right? So here, I mean, we can just say, don't say the name of it, and you can just. Don't say the name of the food? No, no, don't say the name of the place.

Can I say Homer's donut glazed chicken? wing? Yeah. That's pretty good. That sounds good. This was what they came up with. Or they typed into AI. I like Icaramba nuclear swicy wings.

Mm-hmm. Oh, man, Buzz Cola barbecue wings. I mean, this, I love all. I love the name of all this. You know. And then, yeah. This is fantastic. Wow.

Oh, man, I like this stuff. I don't even know if I can say it down here. Can I just say spider pig splash? Yeah, you can say that. I mean, we didn't pick it, but you can say it. Okay. There's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, maybe some

stuff. That's really fun. I'm a lucky man in that I, this is very fun to be in this world. This is awesome. Yeah, this is great.

Because what I was going to say is like, you know, like, like for instance, the illumination, an illumination, like,

like cafe or whatever the fuck, they'll sometimes be like, like, well, you can do something like, like, like, like,

filet minion, you know what I mean? You'd have something that's like kind of fun. And I, and I'm not the only one who's ever come up with that. That's not a Wiger original.

Well, you can do a thing like that, but then that gets vetoed, and instead will be, like, Gru's favorite burger. You know what I mean? And it's just like, well, that's, you didn't even put any effort in this. I'll be honest with you. You got my interest.

What's Gru's favorite burger? I mean, the people. You want some wordplay, right? Definitely the universal people have been very cool about us being collaborative with being silly food names. And, yeah. I mean, if we had more energy, we would, like, be pitching them foods. Like, why aren't we doing, like,

a Korean fried chicken and having a funny name for it or whatever, but we're just so busy. We can't proactively suggest foods. Right. But we went there and they do really original creative stuff there and just, you know, there's going to be cool Simpson stuff at Universal coming up in the spring and in Halloween and it's going to be spooky and delicious. That's awesome.

I love it. Okay. Second, food you rather. There's 10 of these? We're not going to do all 10. Food you rather eat 100 French fries or 100 M&Ms. 100 French fries You freak This isn't an obvious one

What's that? Oh, you're mad at me Because it's an obvious one? Do you guys write these? I did. Right, then he's surprised when he reads them It's like when Chee tries to mess with You're the Chee, you're the Chee

And he's the Colin Jost. Yes, right. I would have to do 100 M&Ms. There you go. All right. 100 fries. A lot of popcorn with the M&Ms?

Yes. Okay, then definitely 100 M&Ms. 100 French fries. That's like you ruined a week of protein maxing. Can we pick our... I mean, there's like at least 50 French fries and a large McDonald's French fry, right? Yeah, but you're talking about crushing two

large McDonald's fries. We should do some fry counting, actually. That's another thing we should bring back. We've done fry counting before. I know, we should do... It's been so long. It's been a while. I wonder if shrinkflation has hit the fries.

Yeah. I think we counted a small. I think there's like 50 in a small. So I think that 100 fries isn't that crazy. So if it's just a large fries, then I guess my answer might be fries. It does sound like a lot in terms of quantity. You're going to feel sick by the end.

I would feel sick by the end. You're going to down those M&Ms like, no problem. Do I have leeway on M&M varietal? Good question. Let's just say yes. Okay, in that case, then I think I'm doing the M&Ms. Because I could pick a fun M&M. But with the fries, you could also pick what cut you want, too.

Oh, you could do a steak fry or the skinny fry or a waffle. That's fun. Wait, what's this? Oh, you mean a steak cut fry. Yeah. Yeah. You can pick the cut. That's the old-time name for a steak fry.

Steak cut fry. Is that really? Yes. So I'm like pretending I don't know what a steak fry is. Oh, a steak cut fry. Because I'm older than, well, all of you put together. That's not true. Put together?

Impressive, honestly. All right. So a large fried McDonald's, it would be like eating two large fries for McDonald's. That's a lot of fries. I'm doing the Aminams. We have Eminem's in the other room if you want to count them. You want to count a bag? I think a bag is probably less than 100 this day.

Oh, for sure. You can eat 100 M's in two minutes if you wanted to. You could, though, yeah. You'd be over, boom, you're done. No, that's... Then you're full of energy, you go to the gym. Great energy. I mean, your body doesn't know sugar.

It's energy is energy. The answer is two bags of M&Ms versus two large McDonald's fries. Yeah, and you go to the gym, you burn it off. You have great workout. I would rather eat two large McDonald's fries. I did back day today during lunch. That's fucking sick. That's pretty good.

I love backday. Do you have, like, because, because I'm working on the Warner Brothers lot, there is a lovely, like, small gym you can use that's available as you get a membership there. And I have a question for you. Do you think you could beat up Jonah Hill?

No. Is Jonah Hill Jack now? Yes. No, he just recently said that if someone tried to mess, if someone calls him a fat kid from... He takes, like, I take Jiu-Jitsu, and then he said, if someone came up and called the Fat Kid from SuperBag, I could...

So I'm at the Fox Gym. Yeah, so they do, they do have a setup like that. I'm working out. and who is in there also working out? Rupert Murdox. Sandler. Wow. Whoa.

What a scoop. Now, I know Sandler a little bit, but I am very much a believer in giving celebrities their space and people at the gym their space. Like, yeah. Like, he's there to work out. He's not there for every person he barely knows. What hell is he doing in that gym? To make.

So he's staying in shape. So I just kind of like give him like a high and he gives me a high. I'm like, that's good. It's all we need here. And on the way out, he stops and talks to me. And he goes, Maddie, you look huge. You do look huge. You're fucking Jack.

But then, and he set it in front of all my enemies at the gym. Yeah. So it was like a real alpha moment. Wait, what's the deal with these gym at it? I can't get into that for legal reasons. Okay, got it. I can tell you off the camera. But I just have some enemies to the gym for to curb your enthusiasm reasons.

And it was... I got also a really funny picture. I'm saying, Mattie, you look huge. I think it seems like a very sandlery thing to say. That's, you're really mugging your gym enemy. Oh, boy, it's hard to say. Gym enemies. You're really mugging your gym enemies.

I'm the villain of the, I shouldn't have created the enemies. What do you do? What's your routine on back day? You're doing back squats, obviously. Well, or do you, are you a barbell guy? The assisted pull up. Okay. With drop.

Then I do a. Oh, back day, not fucking leg day. I'm good. Then I do a row pull down. Yeah. And then I do like a lat on the bench. That's fun. And then, you know, try to do like a warm-up set and then four heavy sets with a drop each time.

Wow. Yeah. It's not like a gym tourist just there saying back, like putting back squats on back day. No, you can do back squats on leg day. Mm-hmm. And I know that. I just having a weird day. He's had a hard day.

I love working out. I love working out, too. And I love Sandman. I love Sandman. I love working out. Did you guys work together at one point? You just know, he knows. I've done punch up for stuff for him.

Like, I did punch up on, on eight crazy nights. Remember that? Oh, yeah. I mean, if you watch eight crazy nights, there's a character in one of the songs named Mrs. Selman with an extra breast. Oh, my God. Yeah.

I love a, is it in the song technical file? Because I like the song technical file. Shit, is it in. I don't remember what song. You don't remember this. Yeah. I don't remember what it was, what song. I'd have to rewatch it.

Sandler, like, we don't. He's encountered a lot of people. I'm, like, low tier to him, but I'm a big fan. We have the McLeast, which is someone who can be the guest on the McDonald's episode. Sandler, if you hear this, you can come on and you can review McDonald's with us. I'm just putting that out there. I know that you haven't agreed to this, but I'm just saying I think you would. Sandler should be on the McList.

We got to return to the McList. Let's return to the Food You Rather. Food You Rather. Food you rather. Food you rather. E.T. Eat all your snacks. Wait, what? What is this? E.T. eats all your snacks?

This is good. I like this. Okay. Food, you rather, E.T. eats, eat all your snacks month. Or Alfrade your fridge. Just what? Wait, what? That's a great one. That's great. That's genius. That's genius. E.T. E.T. eats all your snacks or Alf if goes in your fridge? Yeah. But only one.

E.T. I pick E.T. I pick E.T. Because the snacks are going to be unhealthy. So E.T. can have them. Where I got all my snacks. my Greek yogurt, all my healthy protein maxing manorexia shit in the fridge. So, you know, I don't want

Alf to eat all that. I have an answer. My answer is Al as soon as he walks in the door, I'm breaking his fucking neck. Stay away from Wally and Irma. Stay away from Rale and Arbor. He's a cat either. Well, you have to really say E.T. then because... Then I choose E.T. I want E.T. in my house.

He's welcome. He's not going to do one. If we didn't have a murder either, then that's different question. We don't know. I don't know what E.T. feels about cats, but he doesn't does he, does he, does E. Is E. Is E. T. T interact with the cat at all? He fucks cats. He fucks him. So he loves cats. All right. The cats, if their cats are in, if it's, if they're all into it. He would be like spinning Wally on his finger. Like a basketball up its butt. If Wally is like, if Wally's consensual. If Wally's like like, like, like, Ray.

When I worked in video games, I had a, when I worked in video games, I had a horny co-worker and he was dating a very petite woman. And he said, she's a spinner. Jesus Christ. That is fucked up. My mom left me in voicemail that said, Irma told, I just saw the translation of the voicemail that said, Irma told me, and I'm like, uh-oh, what's the fuck is she talking about? So she's, Irma has told my mom something, apparently. We're going to figure out what that means after this.

Irma, not your Irma. No, I think that's who she's flying. I have no idea what the fuck she's talking about. Wow. Food you rather, please. Oh, wait, the answer is ET. The answer is ET. The answer is ET.

Here's my issue. E.T.'s eating my snacks all month. It's E.T. Eat all your snacks month. As per the way this is written. He's, he, what, like, is he toilet trained? Is he living there? I feel like he's going to be making a mess. I feel like I'm getting tired of E.T.

I bet he smells. I bet he's, like, a little wet, which I don't like, you know. He is a little wet. I don't like any of that stuff. There's no news about him smelling. Alf's coming into my house. He's right in my fridge, which frankly, could be. I could use a cleaning anyway.

So he's getting rid of some old stuff in the process. Like, I'm fine with that. And then also, Alf's funny. So he's making me laugh. E.T.'s pretty funny. E.T.'s not that. I didn't think about it that way. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. E.T. is pretty fucking funny.

He's not that funny. Remember when he's dressed up in the club, when he has all the stuff on? He's funny. He looks funny. We fucking can't be canceled for that shit these days. So there used to be this ride. There used to be some kind of E. At Universal. And he would, as you got off the ride.

He would say your name. He would say your name. That I liked, yes. That was good. But if you said a swear, he would say goodbye, friend. Right. But we put a jug on the Simpsons and none of that where he said, Bart was at a fancy Halloween party and the E.T. And it said to Bart, goodbye, scrotum.

Because Bart got scrotum past the E.T. That's good. That's a little loophole. I love that. Yeah, I know. Food you rather, this one's easy for me. Food you rather give up desserts or appetizers. Desserts.

desserts. desserts. desserts. Yeah. Hmm. Wait, never again? Easy. Or at restaurants.

Can you order apps for mains? Like, no longer you can have mozzarella sticks or no longer you can have, like, brownies. You give up ice cream? Again. In any context. Or is this just in restaurants? Any context whatsoever.

Oh, so I can't have, like, ice cream out of my fridge. Yeah. Okay. So I think I still stick with appetizers. Really? Yeah. Keep appetizers. Keep appetizers.

Who needs sugar? I was sugar. Buffalo wings, though. Buffalo wings do change over to Maine. You can need a buffalo wing for a Maine. I'm sorry. sometimes my wife and I will have like dessert for dinner.

I think this is We're a very cute couple. That's fine. I think that there's some things that are specifically apps and I think that wings can be maimed. I think this question is better just as a restaurant question,

not a life, not a cutting out entire food. Then let's scale it back to just at restaurant. Just at restaurants, then I'd say dessert's got to go. Yeah, desserts go. Fuck, probably same. Then if it's just at restaurants.

I almost always order an appetizer. I very rarely stay for dessert. We had a scenario like this. This is relevant to something that happened here at HeadGum earlier today where all the Coke Zeros were at room temp. Yeah, they left out. That's a technical foul. Food, you rather, all your beverages be room temp or all your food, be lukewarm. Never have a hot meal, never have a cold or hot drink.

Fuck. That's a hard one. That is hard. I think I might kill myself. That's that one I'm taking on a lot. I would have to suck it up with take the bad drinks. Oh, you know what? So you can't use ice.

No ice. I think my answer would be weirdly room temp food. Wow. I need a cold drink. That keeps me going. I think I would maybe choose the room temp drinks and have hot food. You could make it. We get used to.

People can get used to anything. I already drink room. Look what we all live with now. Yeah, it's true. We have a capacity to normal. I mean, root. It's, oh man, I guess what you... I guess the level of...

Yeah, room temp is just like, just, it's not hot at all. There's no warmth. Coffee's just out. Because you can't have hot... You can't have hot coffee and you can't have cold brew. Like, I'm not having...

I'm not having lukewarm coffee. That sucks. I just have to come up with some other bit of caffeine intake. But I... Honestly, maybe I would have to get rid of cold drinks. It would be a nightmare. Ice tea is gone too.

Ice tea is gone. That sucks. I think what you're... What I'd have is basically... Water. Yeah, water. Filtered water. and red wine.

You'd stop drinking everything but water. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Alcohol would suck. And I'm a hot food guy. I love hot foods, but just not having cold drinks, I think, would just, I couldn't do it. I think hot food, mediocre restaurant, better than wrong temperature food from great

restaurant. I think fresh hot food right out of a kitchen, the best. And also just saying lukewarm food, we're also talking about like a frozen sweet treat is out of the picture, too, right? Yeah. You have to have like melted, melted ice cream. That sucks. Yeah, I think I'm taking warm drinks.

Unless you count it as a beverage and you could have a cold milkshake, I think. That's a loophole. That's a loophole. That's a technical role. Wait, what? Yeah, that is a technical problem. What the fuck are you talking about? Like if you keep cold drinks but have lukewarm food, your ice cream would be lukewarm,

but if you make it into a milkshake, now it's a cold drink. Okay. You're allowed to do loopholes. Okay, so loopholes. Okay, let's go back. All right, then I'll kill out. Loophole all of these. Okay, so I would make the pizza into a burger.

Yeah, your pizza burger. Put so much pepperoni on it if it's a burger or so much ground beef, it's a burger and eat that, and then I can have vote. Yeah. Let's just re-loop all these. Yeah. Last one. Okay.

Food you rather eat in solitude forever or... Nick just says yes to that. I mean, that's easy. Yes. Solitude forever, yes. Or... Or every meal has to be eaten in a group of four. Solitude forever.

Easy. you'd never have like a like you'd be like because you ever arrange a quartet oh wow I love it I don't know I can I sit in a restaurant I might I might pick

I mean is it friends not Randos You can pick who You can pick whoever But if you're getting lunch Do all a norm account? Is that a loophole? Can I not people? Can I not eat if I don't have four people? Like if I'm hungry and there's only two people here

Can we not eat? That's how I interpret it Correct but you can grab three other strangers What about breakfast? All meals. All meals. That just becomes impossible to live if you have to organize a quartet. I'm just telling people I'm a solo eater.

Yeah, I don't really do that. I eat by myself. I just take my plate in the other room and eat by myself and come back a few minutes later. Bye by me. Thanksgiving. By yourself. I do that already. I mean...

Solitude. I mean, this was sort of like a wish one, like a magic one. Like, I feel like you, this is like... If you made the choice of the four, magically people would appear, have to appear. have to appear. Is there magic? Is there magic? Because the logistics,

this has a logistical element. If there's magic and you could pick any four people? I thought it was just a pure question. You're asking if this is magic when there's already one that we answered about Alf and E.T. That's science.

That's science. Okay, out of curiosity, we could do a magic yes and a magic no version. Okay. If there's magic, I think people are social animals and you just,

yeah, you get tired of it. I'll see people. people went after you're eating. You can eat their food and share the foods. I eat alone for a lot of my meals already. Me too. Yeah, you eat alone so much. I mean, it sucks. Can you go to the ER and get an IV to stay alive? Yes, but there has to be three other people. Three, okay. An IV? I think he's be alive is considered a meal. Okay. Right. Is that food? Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? That's what I'm saying. Like that'd be a loophole.

Yeah, okay. You're tired of being with everyone else. You go to the ER. Say, give me an What about if you, what if three other, what if you're eating in solitude, but what if you're just sitting there while other people eat? I think you can't. What if I, what, you think you can't? I'm running the numbers and it's not computing. So I can't sit at a table. I can't sit at a table. I'm not eating, but everyone else is eating.

Why can't I do that? You know what? Maybe that's okay because, yeah, because you're not eating. Then I, then I choose solitude. I also had a premonition once that I would die eating orange chicken by myself and watching TV choking on it because I'm so greedy to eat. the orange, no, not the orange chicken, the Kung-pow chicken, sorry. That was the premonition. I predicted it at work.

So I said, if I die, Simpsons predicted it, right? Magic, we're all wizards. So if I die, eating Kung-Pow chicken by myself watching TV, I want you to say that I predicted it, and magic is real, and God is probably real then, too. I hope it doesn't happen, but I hope it doesn't happen, but then it'd be kind of reassuring. It's possible that it's a self-fulfilling prophecy

and not magic also, but, I can just see that happening. Yeah. I'm so excited to get the Kung Pao chicken. Don't chew it. You're just speed eating it. I'm like, shoveling it. Like Searcy, wink, wink, wink, slurp, slurp.

I'm already half pig. And, you know, that night, I don't want to go that way. Well, do you think Kungabow chicken would turn you into a pig still? Or would it turn? Because I don't think it turned you into a chicken. That's a question for Searcy. Yeah. Well, that's maybe for a future food, do you rather?

Turn to a chicken or a pig? Yeah. Would you rather surcee? If I'm turning to do a chicken or a pig, I'm choosing a pig. I'd choose pig, too. Pigs are smarter. You know what my answer is all this? They're bigger.

Thank Mother Earth, thank Gaya for letting us have hot food and cold drinks. We're lucky to be alive and we're alive. Gratitude is very important. Let's not forget hot drinks and cold food because those are good too. I have a question on the magic version. Can I use magic to summon any three other people? like Einstein and Pocahontas and like Timothy

Chalamay's character from Dune Yes, right, right. Oh, you mean characters too? Yeah, our fictional characters. Are fictional characters on the table? Could I summon, can I summon Varan? Yes. Okay, then yeah.

Could he summon the Kushners? So I could have a dinner for four. It could be Jared Kushner, Josh Kushner, Verong, and me. Or we could get, that's an easy, easy yes for me. David Beckham, Vachoria Beckham, and the son they're not talking to

and I could like bring them together. I think I could get this to work through it. All right, so now that it's magic with this, I choose the people. I think I could heal the Beckham's easy. I think I could heal the Beckham family. I really feel confident about that. I never felt more confident about anything. I think you could do.

Because they say anything to get out of the meal. Back in my day, the only Beckham was when Mr. Beck would bring over a honey glazed ham. Do we have to do a question? I bet that like, what's the mom's name? What's mom Beckham's name, Spice? Victoria? I bet she, like, is super sad

every day that her boy doesn't talk to her. For all her wealth and privilege and narcissism and self-obsession, I bet it just weighs on her and drags every day. Yeah. And that probably David is probably more okay with it because men can compartmentalize things more. And he's sad about it,

but he knows that she's sad, on, but it's really heavy on their marriage. It would happen to be. Either that or they're all just such, you know, celebrity nutcases that they never think about anything. Yeah. One of those two. Do you know why they're upset?

Sancho's L. To eat everything in their fridge. I think eat tea snack for a month. Like for all their wealth and, you know, success and neck tattoos, a simple family feud is just, is bringing them as much sorrow as, you know, an everyday family with the same problem.

It brings as much sorrow as it brings my family joy because when I'm home, we watch the Steve Harvey family feud after we watched Jeopardy together. That's Jeopardy and then Family Feud. What a lineup that is. Sigmelia the Segma'am, I think a food you rather is a winner. I think it's a...

We'll bring it back. Is this some sort of... Are you doing some sort of prank on me where I needed to be out at some point, and now it is, might go... We're close to... Full hour after. We're going to a full hour after.

Well, once you said that you're not going to it, that I was... I know, you're having a rough day. No, but once you said you're not going to it, I thought with them as like, oh, we're just going to have a nice fun episode with our buddy Selman. We have. We have. We have. We have.

I'm embarrassed to admit this. I like listening to myself on podcasts. Some people can't stand it. Right. Sure. I do like it. And I'm, I will be motivated to do like, another part of, uh, protein maxing is like eating, taking a walk after you eat.

Which we didn't do tonight, but... No. So, wherever you eat, then you get a 15-minute walk. So I'm going to be motivated. I'll break this up into chunks, and they'll be motivated to go on little walks after I eat. I love a post-meal walk. I like a post-meal walk, too.

Instead of dessert, here's a new old guy thing. Like I told you this. Yes. Instead of getting dessert with your friends at a restaurant, go for a walk around the restaurant neighborhood after dinner. Yeah, that's really fun. And then you've, like, kind of digested better. Everything's going to be healthier for you.

And it's a better goodbye. Yeah, like, you just, Because you don't want to order dessert because you're like you want to hang with your friends more. Right. You don't want to have, and again, no body shaming, Mitch. You don't want like 800 calories of sugar cake when you're already kind of full. But you want to hang out with your friends more because you don't see them all much and you're busy. And so you go for a walk.

I like the walk. I like the walk. I do like the walk. I do. What the, I like the, I like the episode. I'm just, I was just thrown. I'm just thrown because maybe there, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, apologize if there's a misunderstanding because I thought

when you were like, I'm not going to make it. I was like, okay, great, then we'll just do an episode. I'm not trying to make it go longer. Can we just go to the fucking feedback? For God's sakes. Just like a restaurant, I value your feedback. Let's up to the feedback. Today's email is from Jared. Jared writes, my brother just bought the lake.

Should I fire magic? Yeah, why this was your answer? Should they fire magic? I mean, like magic's last, The stint in charge of the Lakers Was such a fucking debacle Like he just was like he did not really He was not a good steward of the team

And so I'm a Laker legend Obviously but I'm neutral on him Having any sort of involvement So kind of pro honestly Archie Mark tried to tear down the magic statue also And put up a marker for other people he beat up In Los Angeles But they wouldn't let him do it

You saw entourage You chilled out by the time we got to He chilled out. Jared writes, Hi, Do Boys, Emma, Amelia, Mike, and future unemployed headgum, hunk-hunkettes. My company boy, that is, that's a... Sour.

Yeah, a bit of a low blow there, but, you know, whatever. We don't control who works at headgum. There's something I don't know about. Is everything okay? I don't know. I don't know. Just Jared from Chattanooga have some insight info. My company recently acquired the license to the Moon Pie brand

to launch multiple beers inspired by this. Jared Kushner? Was it part of the deal to buy the Lakers that they also bought? Moon pie. They also bought headgum? Head gum and a moon pie. Yeah, it's all one umbrella corporation now, owned by the Saudi sovereign wealth fund.

My company recently acquired the license of the Moon Pie brand to launch multiple beers inspired by the delicious Southern treat. We're starting with a chocolate marshmallow stout and have a few other variations coming out over the next year. I've already been fired for this terrible idea. If you were to create a dessert-style beverage, what would it be? Also, my wife had a separate question. Recently, we were at the Atlanta Late Show.

This week, I was listening to the Biscuitville episode on our way to... Bragging. I was listening to our Biscuitville episode on our way to pick up our boys from daycare, and she said, that's weird. It seems like there was a lot of laughter. She wants to know, do you all add laugh tracks to live episodes, so the show seems funny? Who the fuck is this troll?

Thanks, Jared from Tennessee. Yeah, we're sweet in the fucking episodes, you've, fucking asshole. Half the people online are like, there's no laughter. It sounds like a dead room. So I don't know what's happening. Yeah, what do you mean? Yes. The people have the opposite reaction. You thought that there was too much laughter from what

you experienced, you motherfucker? That was a live show with the laughter? It was a live show. This was, this was Jared's wife who was a quiet show. The Atlanta crowds were quiet. I would support. No, the LAIT show was a little ramboy. Late show they were having fun. It supports sweetening a live show.

Yeah. I don't care. I don't have fucking time. All rules are off. Yeah. Emma is not sweetening the show. She's not doing us favors in that department. So a lot of times it's a byproduct of the acoustics of the room and how the audience is miced,

which we don't necessarily have control over how the... We put the biggest laffer right in front of the mic. Yeah. If there is a mic from the audience. I'm not answering his fucking question anymore. Fuck this guy. Sorry. All right.

Sorry, Jared. So we create a beverage out of a dessert. Look, a chocolate cake shake. That doesn't count. but the chocolate cake shake at Portillo's. I think it just says dessert-style beverage.

So I think we have leeway here. So the chocolate cake shake does work, which is a portillo's. I think people are like, whatever about the... But I really do love the chocolate cake shake. One of the favorite things I ever did, I'm sorry for bringing it up again on The Simpsons,

is wrote a fake menu for a kind of goofy drink menu that was kind of a freeze frame with a thousand goofy, disgusting, sweet drinks. And I wish I could remember what they were, but they were, when we, one of, there was like, it was like, you know, the most disgusting, like gummy worms, sour patch,

gin, butterscotch, buffalo sauce, goofy, you know, like, over the top thing. Anyway, so one of the things from the fake menu, I can't remember. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, remember on the 4th of July, had those gummy bare beers, but they weren't, they didn't really were. So I was just in, um, New England. and my wife and I

Fleurred, look it up we flanered through Connecticut and went to a, in Rhode Island, went to a beach called Narragansett which is kind of an old-timey beach in the beach town of Rhode Island and there was a snack bar there and rest assured

AI has taken over the snack bar scene in that every image on the snack bar thing is now a gross, weird, overly detailed, well-lit, like AI image, like, for example, Oh, that sucks. Or here's one, like this rhino is drinking the, look at this. Yeah, so this is a jacked rhino.

Super Jacked rhino. It's very, very AI. He's drinking a drink called the Rino Blaster. Is that from your deviant heart account? Andre the Giant has kind of a weird super wrap there. That's gross AI. Then look at this here. This is Chuck Norris has fighting Bruce Lee in the Norris Refresher.

What was the snack bar? It was a snack bar at this kind of old-timey beach in Rhode Island. Okay. And the food was in here like this Swedish fish, jumbo supreme drink. I mean, it's really kind of like the Nutso stuff one might see on an animated cartoon show. But I couldn't believe like here's one with the hap, there's Ron. There's, the Fonz is there. Ah, look at him.

Not licensed, I'm sure. Like, I mean, we know. No, AI is not our favorite thing and it's scary to older people and maybe it's going to make life great, but it's run rough shot over disgusting kind of vaguely, you know, state fair level theme park, gross snack bar food. I feel like AI, like older people, I think, love AI. Yeah. I think younger people are more scared by it. Right. But I think older people is just like, oh, I can just ask a chat GPT a question and it helps me out, you know.

Willie Nelson? They didn't pay Willie for that. There's no fucking way. Willie endorsed the Willie rap. That's, yeah, that's, yeah. This is so wrong. Don't ever try to do that with the doughboys. I try to get a, I like to get fridge magnets whenever I go traveling.

Yeah. I went into a gift shop. All the fridge magnets were AI. That sucks. She was crazy. That really sucks. A lot of T-shirts do now are like AI designs. I'm trying to think of a, of a dessert-inspired drink.

and the problem is all the desserts I'm thinking of is just like, I don't think I want to liquefy this. Like I'm thinking cheesecake, do I want to liquefy cheesecake? I don't want to do that. Like, I'm sure it's going to get more realistic, but AI just has that gross, over-detailed, over-lit, over-textured.

I see. That's a fish sandwich. It looks absolutely disgusting. Like, just... It looks real bad. It looks real bad. It looks real bad. Oh, look, here's wait.

Oh, hold on. Withdrawn. Each golden girl has their own. flavor milkshake, Kit Kat, Skittles, Tick-Tac. Okay. Can I see the Golden Girls?

Can you guess which? Oh, God. It's never going to end. Okay, you want to play a game? Here we go. Breaking Chews. We're adding a new game. We're adding a new game.

Four Gordon Girls. Four flavored, disgusting flavored things. Reese's pieces, Tick-Tac, skittles, and one called Dirty Kit-Cat. So that's a hint right there. Dirty Kit-Cat is Rue McClan. Bang, yes. Okay.

No. No. Roo-Clan. Blanche. Oh, yeah. Yep, exactly. I thought Betty White was the dirty one. No, Betty White's the dumb one.

She's like kind of, she was dirty in every other joke after it. Yeah, I got, I got old stuff. I haven't seen Golden Girls yet. Tick-Tac. They're sending you to the TV Academy. So he says is the old lady, the old one who wasn't really old. It's Del Getty. Still Getty.

Skittles is, uh, mod. Is there AI, is there AI pictures of the Golden Girls? Skittles is B. Arthur? Yes, Skittles is B. Arthur. And then Betty White is Tick-Tac, vanilla pistachio. If you're going to AI the Golden Girls, you got to show them off there. See some fucking hangers. Yeah.

Can I, can I, I, I'm going to say you this. You're going to use DV&R. Use the right way. Big fucking tits. I'm going to send you this ridiculous thing that you guys can either, you guys can. Wise, if you pose that, I'll favor it on Deviantart.com. You can insert it as a video or not. image as you choose

Odyssey needed tits and AI Golden Girls ad for milkshakes needed tits. So just generally more tits. Just in those two contexts. I asked Neil Kylie who own the Fat Cat which was has closed it on his own terms,

the rest of the piece of the fat cat and I asked him about this beer that he would have there and it was called Dream. J-R-E-A-M juice rules everything about me. It was from a Maryland brewery. Like the like the, like the Wu-Tang song?

Yeah, like cash. That's Rootang? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Pretty good. It's called Burley Oak was the brewery. Yeah, like cash rules everything around me. Cream. Yeah, wow. But I would drink those beers and they were like the closest thing I would have to and I haven't tried this brewery. I want to try these, I want to try this beer.

I want to try this Moom Pie beer. But they were the closest things that would be like a heavy dis, they would be like, you know, like a, like blueberry pie, dream. And you're drinking, you're like, this is fucking good. And it's, it's heavy. It's a lot. It was a lot. Sometimes they can pull out that little magic trick pretty effectively.

But my answer would be something like that for an orange sherbert or a, or a creamicle. Oh, cream sickle's a great idea, Mitch. Creemeas. Like a sour, you know what I mean? Like kind of a sour, like a juicy sour. But you can make some good sours with like Jolly Ranchers. Yeah. They have candies too.

Up here with extra sugar is a protein maxer's nightmare. I'm not thinking about protein max. Maybe you should be. I'm carb maxing. I've been kind of, you can't neglect fiber and vegetables and fruits. Yeah. I do, I, I, I'll fruit max. I've been asparagus max.

I'm Gus maxing. Oof. I love asparagus. You love asparagus. There's some stink maxing going on with the, with the, that's what happens. On field, that's what I, I would. That's my one of my things. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants,

you can email us at Feedbag at BirdFuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GOTO. That's 830-463-6-844. Our producer is Emma Erdbrink. Our associate producer, Amelia Marino, our video editor, Mike Dorfman, doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. And Emma, we have live shows coming up in Texas and in Boston. Yes. We'll be in Houston, November 17th, in Dallas, the 18th,

and then in Austin for two shows on the 19th, the early show is sold out, but there are still plenty of tickets for the late show. And then the Wilburne in Boston on the 25th, the night before Thanksgiving. You've been there before. Oh, yeah. What are you reviewing in Boston?

We don't know yet. We don't know. We know. We know it's going to be crazy. It's going to be wild. You're going to want to be there. I'm going to be in L.A., sadly. Should we do Thanksgiving dinner?

Is that the, we should review? Are you coming to my Thanksgiving dinner the next day? I'm out? I'm not trying to invite myself. Everybody's welcome in Maine as well. My parents would love. it. Oh boy, that's a real Sophie's choice.

Would you rather go join Emma up in Maine, which is a drive. Yeah, that's a bit of a hall. It's a hall. Or join me with Neil Kylie and the Kylie's at Thanksgiving That'd be fun. Good options. You know what? I'll choose the solo option. I thought you're going to choose both.

Yeah, I was like he's going to have been driving a lot. The airport legal seafood by yourself. Honestly, you're probably pretty good. Have you done legal? You've done legal, right? We've done legal seafood, yeah. Legal is very solid. I liked legal. At a great time. Very consistent. Very consistent.

A Friendly's revisit might be good. There's a lot that we could do. Yes, because... Friendlies, I mean, Santarpeos is the other pizza place. I would love for it to have you. Oh, you've had with Santerbury. I had a great time. We've got a set up. What about Harold's? I know it was ice cream, but really good. Not really, you know, it's sweet, not savory.

We'll figure it out. We'll still, these are good options. solicit the fan vote and we will settle on a chain. But you'll want to join us at the pre- Thanksgiving show in Boston. How fun is that? And you get the Do Boys Double Our weekly bonus episodes subscribe at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Matt Selman, the Simpsons, of course. Sure, whatever. An institution. Thank you so much for being here. What, absolutely. You guys, yeah, I know. I always feel like I want a contest to be here and I'm very, it's great. It's always look forward to it. And, I feel great. Hunger games.

The wet wings that they brought in, they were not great. The wetties we just had. They're fine. Do they bring down your fork score? They did. You know what the issue was? I like, we didn't talk about this,

but at the BHC chicken, I actually got a glimpse into the kitchen. And you know who's working there? Who's that? Aquaman. I don't get it. What does it mean? Salman, do you want to plug anything?

Um, well, just, Simpson still exists. Check it. Another movie coming out. How fun is that? We'll have another movie coming out in about a year. Um, on the 26th,

a special, spooky, adjacent black mirror type episode will be exclusive on Disney Plus. called Yellow Mirror, if you can believe it. I love that. If you can believe that. That's fun. And so it's two scary stories.

It's three. This is just two scary, eerie stories of the not too distant future. Kind of like the show Black Mirror. Yes. And I'm very proud of it. I'm proud of the writer, producer, Carolyn Omini, who did all the work. And I could just sit back and enjoy it. And one of the segments is like really sad.

I like Sometimes a sad story is good Yeah, sometimes a sad story is good It's true Yeah It's very true Like when E.T. Sponged bitches cats on it That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys

Until next time for the spoon of mammary Mitchell, I'm Nick Tiger Wager Happy Eaton! See ya! Hi, I'm Nicole Byer Hi, I'm Sashir Zameda And this is the podcast, Best Friends HeadGum So this is just a

a podcast where we just talk. Yeah. We're best friends. Yeah. We talk. And then we have a segment where we answer questions and queries. Mm-hmm. So audience members can ask questions about friendships and we can answer them to the best of our

abilities. Yes. We are professional friends. We are professional friends. Subscribe to Best Friends on Spotify, Apple Podcast, PocketCast, or wherever you get your podcast and watch videos on YouTube. New episodes drop every Wednesday. That's the middle of a work week.

I was deeply unhelpful to you during that whole thing. You were. I'm really sorry. I felt the support. I was so, okay. I was trying to be supportive. Yeah. But I was like, I don't know, reading seems pretty hard right now.

It's a lot. I think you did good. Thank you so much. You're welcome. That was a head gum podcast.