Doughboys - Blaze Pizza with Eliza Skinner

Episode Date: September 10, 2020

Eliza Skinner (The Late Late Show, Earth To Ned, Regarding My Lovers) join the 'boys to talk childhood collections, theme parks, and Blaze Pizza. Plus, everyone picks their favorite aliens in the Mount Gushmore segment.Sources for this week's intro:https://fortune.com/2014/07/07/junior-bridgeman-wendys/https://moneymaven.io/blackwealthchannel/investing/how-a-former-nba-player-turned-350-000-into-400-million-FyRtXUpz5E6XFmVi6NhedAhttps://www.franchisehelp.com/franchisee-resource-center/top-professional-athletes-who-own-franchises/https://www.restaurantbusinessonline.com/financing/how-blaze-pizzas-founders-figured-it-outhttps://www.qsrmagazine.com/reports/how-blaze-ignited-pizza-revolutionhttps://www.espn.com/nba/story/_/id/20149593/lebron-james-stake-blaze-pizza-chain-now-worth-least-35-millionhttps://www.forbes.com/sites/forbestreptalks/2016/11/14/why-blaze-pizza-thinks-theres-room-for-another-pizza-chain-and-why-its-working/#105a3e617417Advertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On June 16th, 1975, the Los Angeles Lakers in Milwaukee Box consummated a five-player trade that would land Hall of Fame's center Karim Abdul-Jabbar in purple and gold. The acquisition of the league's all-time leading scorer would help propel the showtime Lakers to five NBA championships in the 1980s, and trenching Karim's legacy is one of the greatest, if not the greatest, of all time. But one of the player's exchange for Karim would become a legend in his own right, a first-round draft pick out of Louisville named Junior Bridgeman. In the off-seasons during his esteemed 12-year NBA career, mostly spent with the Bucks, Bridgeman

dutifully learned the ins and outs of fast food franchising by working at a Wendy's drive-through, and after he and his jersey were retired, he invested his earnings into becoming a franchise owner himself. Bridgeman ably bridged the gap to this new phase in his career, eventually coming to own over 160 Wendy's and 120 Chili's locations, amassing a fast food fortune that dwarfed his earnings as a player. And his success would inspire the next generation of athletes turned chain restaurant entrepreneurs, including Magic Johnson, who established Starbucks and TGI Fridays franchises, Jamal

Mashburn, who owns dozens of outback steakhouses in Papa John's, and current Laker and the man who made some day challenge Karim's scoring title, LeBron James, who, in 2012, invested $1 million in a startup pizza chain founded by Wetzel's Pretzels luminaries Rick and Elise Wetzel. The concept was inspired by the couple's trip to a Pasadena Chipotle outlet, where this king and queen of twisted dough quickly realized the counter-service workflow could apply to another type of dough, personal pizzas. Customized to order in quick-fired ovens that can reach 900 degrees, the build-your-own

Zaw gimmick was a monster hit, and the eatery became the fastest-growing fast-casual chain of not just the 2010s, but of all time, on pace for 1,000 locations this coming decade. Today, James' initial investment has grown almost 50-fold, and his hybrid franchise owner-slash-spokesperson role has proved beneficial for both he and the Wetzel's Italian-American brainchild. And while Junior Bridgeman recently exited fast food franchising in favor of the more lucrative cola bottling, it's his business acumen that's inspired countless professional athletes to thrive after their playing days via chain restaurant empires.

This week on Doughboys, Blaze Pizza. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, Chewanon, the Spoonman Mike Mitchell. Chewanon. So, I believe in some like eating truths that others don't believe, like I have far-fetched conspiracy theories about, like, maybe like cupcakes are actually pie. Yeah, there you go. That tracks completely.

The cockamamie theory you have, cupcakes, which has cake in the name, is more classified as a pie. And also, dude, pizza is a sandwich. Whoa, man. You're fucking twisted. Trevor from Tucson sent that in, roastspoonmanatgmail.com is the address we have a roast for the top of the show. Mitch, how you doing?

You were just eating your first meal as we're about to record, we're recording the late afternoon. Mm-hmm. You had a rough night's sleep. Well, yeah, I was eating, it was prepared at about 2.40. Yeah, late lunch. I mean, if you hit four o'clock, lunch is just done. You don't get to do lunch, right?

Yeah. Is that true? Maybe there's some late lunches. Maybe people have eaten lunch at four. I think 4 p.m. is like the cutoff for, that becomes an early dinner. Okay. I mean, like, you can't be eating lunch at four. I'll give it to you between three and four, but once it gets 4 p.m., that's too much.

That's too far. So you just say lunch is not possible at four? I don't think so. Sounds like you're fucking chewing on. And I'm sure that you, I'm sure you, I'm sure that you have ties to Epstein as well. All right. What did you, what did Q, and I'm calling him, too, what did, what did Q, what was Q's ties to, what was his ties to, what is his deal?

It's way too complicated. I honestly don't even know if there's explicit ties. Look, I'm just going to say it. We welcome Q listeners to this pod. No response. Weigher. Sorry, I had to mute, I was muted for a second. I was typing.

Jesus Christ. I think that Q already has eating conspiracies because they think that Chrissy Teigen eats babies. Yeah, that's true. It's all that pizza gate stuff because that's, that's a whole evil was talking about that. There's like supposedly that video, I think it's called Frazzledrip. That is a Hilary. They all have hair, sensible names.

Yeah. Now hold on a second. I'm going to say I welcome Q listeners to the pod. And then as this is released, it will just be 30 seconds of silence where you sound mad. Yeah. We all are quietly judging you. You have to pay attention to who's muted. Hey, Weigher, we take any listener we can get.

It's true. We're craving like that. Give us the scum of the earth. You guys passing out stickers at the QAnon rally? It just happened here. Oh, that's right. There was one in Hollywood. God, it's fucking.

Yeah. What a fucking bad world. What a disaster. Yeah, it's really weird. You know, it's like, like, are we running out of actual things to be upset about? We need to start making them out of candy floss. I just, I just Googled QAnon and the latest, the latest thing they have is that Diddy Kong is actually Donkey Kong's son.

That's fucked up. It's no way that's true. That can't be true. But I mean, that's exactly the kind of information that you have access to when you have the highest clearance level in the government. It's true. Which is the Q level. Yeah.

That would, from that, I would infer that Q is a Kremlin. Wow. You think Q could be King K. Rool himself? It's possible. Who knows? King Q Rool? Why is the NBA season was almost canceled? Yes.

Which is cool. It might still be. We'll see what happens by the 10th episode releases. We don't know. Whatever the players would like to do, we support them. Yes. Yeah, we support the players 100 percent. What's going on over there?

What's happening? What do you mean what's happening? No, no, no. With Weigar, he's looking over to the side. What's going on here? I was grabbing my coffee. I got a travel mug. I'm sipping on.

My dog is being a cuckaroo. Oh, no. We got our own things we're dealing with and you got a thing you're supposed to be doing which is playing your drop. Yeah, I know, but you're not paying attention. I am paying attention. I'm fully engaged. You're not fully engaged.

You were looking off to the side. I was grabbing my travel mug. Why do you have a why you're home? You don't travel. Here's what's nice about the travel mug at home. Keeps my drink warm and I sip it. Now, if I just had an open mug of coffee, that thing is going to be room temp 20 to 30 minutes. Yeah, foul.

That's going to be 20 to 30 minutes into the episode. That's going to be room temp. This is going to stay hot for the most of the record and I'll sip it instead of chugging. I'm talking to the NBA season and you're acting like a regular Linda Richmond over there. The Mike Myers character from Coffee Talk. Fresh reference. Coffee, coffee. Wow.

Making the references. The mixer. Cutting edge. Why? I'm verklempt. Is that what they says? Yes. All right.

Talk amongst yourselves. Yeah, talk amongst yourselves. I don't know if I can do that. I should stop doing that impression. Here we go. Add it home to Spoon Nation. Here's a little drop. Ah.

Fuck. Wow. It's a live drop. It's a live drop. Woo. The van goes woo. The van goes woo. The van goes woo.

And off it. Woo. I think it was worth it. I think that nice flare. I really have egg on my face. In our business, in our business having egg on your face is a good thing, right, Wags? Hmm. It means you're doing your job.

That's right. Yeah. It means you're really getting gritty. You're getting in there shoving your face in the eggs. Egg on your face is actually one of the grosser foods to have on your face, huh? Yeah. It's pretty gnarly. Especially if you have a beard.

Yeah. You can get like a crispy old like bitty yolk in there or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like a side egg. Or if it's like kind of like a gooey part. Yeah. Like a runny yolk.

Look. Look. Soft boiled. Yoke beard is no joke. Oh, yeah. You did that series of PSAs. I did it. It really sets you up.

I deal with yolk beard probably in a year. Probably about 360 times in a year. Wow. So like every other week, every week you maybe take a day off. Wow. That's a lot of, that's a lot of eggy yolks. Yeah. You should practice eating eggs more.

Hmm. Try to get that fork fully in your mouth before you close and bite. Are you just kind of toss note at your face? I just toss it at the face. Have you ever, do you ever eat soft boiled eggs? This, this feels like a very New England-y. Because like a soft boiled egg also has like a, like a little holder if you've ever had one.

Yes. Egg cup. Yeah. I feel like I can picture myself as like a little New England boy dressed up in like an, like a Easter outfit. A little suit. A little suit and having, sitting and having a soft boiled egg. I'm sweetly thanking your mother for it.

Thank you, mummy. Yeah. 100%. And with a bubble juice, chop chip on the sidewalks. But they were, they were good and no one ever gets soft boiled eggs, right? Like who eats soft boiled eggs in this world? I actually, what you described was my childhood because I'm, my dad is English, English. Wow.

So we, so I had like a little Paddington egg cup. Wow. And I would have my soft boiled egg with the toast soldiers and you dip them in. Yes. And I did in fact call my mother, mummy. I mean, I did as well. I, I mean, I'm right. Mummy, not mummy?

Mummy with you? I mean, that's how everyone says I say mummy. I say, oh God, I say mum in like MUM. But in your head, it's an O. Yes. Wikes. But everyone says I say mum. Correct?

Yes. Yes. But in your head, it's an O. Yes. But also I think that this is a New England, Northeast thing is that a lot of those weird English things we kind of stuck around in New England. You say swimming costume. No, but I've heard swimming costume before, especially from like older, like older people

and Quincy growing up. Like superheroes that go swimming. Yeah. Like Aquaman. My very first drop came from Matt and he writes, dear Doughboys, hope you enjoy this. My very first drop. It's super short and was inspired by a very wider turn of phrase concerning the nature boy, Rick Flair, much love to the extended Doughboys verse in these difficult times.

May we all go. Woo. Edge Matt. He says edge and calm like instead of like good day or whatever. And also the music sample is super Bon Bon from 90s all rock group soul coughing. We know that. I said cake. I, that was a like a not like in the mid to late 90s WBCN in Boston.

That's a, that's a, that was like a staple song. I feel like that song. Super Bon Bon. Now, right? Not. I got to, I got delayed. I got delayed. I got a, I got, I got a, I got a, uh, a part in a small film.

So I'm sticking around for a couple of weeks. Oh. Mm hmm. Breaking chews. Congrats Mitch. And we should formally introduce our guest. Yes. A writer, actor and comedian whose credits include the late, late show in the new Disney

Plus series, Earth to Ned. And our new album regarding my lovers is available now. Eliza Skinner is back. Thank you for joining us again, Eliza. Hey, I've been talking. All right. I find it hard to shut up. No, it's fine.

The first, the, our first 10 minutes before we introduce our guest is always death. So it's nice to have, it's nice to have someone who can be a funny actually talking. Um, we, I wanted to ask you guys, right? Yeah. Instead of us. I wanted to ask, um, radio stations came up. You have some history with radio. I mean college radio.

College radio. Yes. Yeah. I was the hardcore director of my college radio station. Um, and for a while I was the librarian. Um, yeah, I also, uh, I did a, I did a really weird radio show that was free form. All of our radio shows had to have a format and like stick to it. Um, except the ones that were from midnight to 6am.

So I did a radio show that was 3am to 6am where I would just play a weird mix of novelty songs and hardcore punk. Um, so it was a show for no one. And because it was that early, I remember walking back to my dorm, like do, I remember walking there doing the show in pajamas, walking back to my dorm, holding LPs and just laying down on the sidewalk and going to sleep for a little while. Just being like, uh, I'll go the rest of the way later.

And just trying to cut you a little shut high. Yeah. Young people are crazy with their bodies. They don't treat them right. They'll put the bad food inside of them. They don't sleep with them. They're just young people. Yeah.

Um, we, uh, we, Mitch and I grew out of that. Uh, yeah. Well, you guys at least beat each other and beat yourselves up for it. That's true. You're doing it, but you're like, Oh no, I am tortured by this food. I am cursed to eat. I remember, I remember when I was working at the Simpsons, which I've said on this podcast thousands of times,

I get made fun of more. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Do we need to ask follow up questions or? I was an assistant to the writers. Um, but, uh, and he did Barney's mo cap. Yeah.

Thanks. Home. The best I could do is an audio. Yeah. You need to need to talk. Who are you thinking Homer? They'd say, um, uh, I was, I would thank Homer every day for my job. I was very, uh, happy to have it.

But, uh, I, uh, I, I remember one time driving back from that job. And I had to go up to the birthday boys because, you know, when you're in your twenties doing comedy, you do it every night for whatever, you know, why, why? I don't know. It wastes, it wasted some time. Why isn't everybody doing this? Have they heard about it?

We could all be doing comedy all the time. It, um, why? Cause I know that you think it was a waste of time for, for all of us. But yeah. Um, I remember just getting to my house and being so tired and then falling asleep in my car for two hours and then just driving up to the birthday boys. And I was like, this sucks.

I remember being like, this is, this is, this is bad. You sleep in your park car outside your apartment. I like got to my apartment and was so tired and was just listening to the radio and was like, I got to go because I had to go in. Yes. And I had like a couple hours before the meeting started, fell asleep in my car, then woke up, then just drove up to the birthday boys house. I don't think I could sleep in a car.

Eliza, can you catch, uh, can you get some shut eye in a car? No, not really. Um, I've never been good. Well, you know what? If it's moving, yeah, I can. I can do that. Wow. Like sitting up zombie sleep thing, you know, where your head like rolls

back and your mouth opens up and you look like a corpse. Yeah. That. Um, but just like parking and sleeping in it. Uh, I don't think so. And now I've got a Mazda Miata. So those seats don't go back at all. Right.

I wouldn't be able to even lean back. I would just look like a strange middle-aged woman having a midlife crisis right in front of the war, right in front of everyone in the world. Uh, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've been, I've, I've attempted to, I mean, like I told you when I was younger, Nick, I'd go to Sonny McClain's and Santa Monica and yes, and if, and if, uh, you know, I would have a couple drinks and sometimes I'd just sleep in my car till the next morning. I don't know how you can do, I, I can't like, I need to, I need to recline.

Cause I was trash. I was a little trash. If I'm upright, I can't, yeah, I guess maybe if I was, if I was hammered, I could fall asleep upright in a car, but it's just, it's just so challenging. No, I meant that I was, I didn't mean I was trash. I'm saying I was, I was, I was trash. Oh God. Right.

It's, yeah. Wiger's like the fancy boy and you're the, you're the rough rider. I was a rough rider. I was covered in wrappers. I didn't care. I mean, it was a, I mean, sleeping in a car is, is. Is not, is not fun. It's, it's, it's not comfortable.

It's moving. Then it's like, you know, you have that little hum, you have a little move. It's like the way you put babies to sleep and moving. There's, there's a soothing nest. Also, I think there's something emotionally soothing about it. Cause like someone else, like as long as you're not driving, if you're driving, you shouldn't sleep in a car. But if someone else is driving, then you're like, Oh, I'm being taken care of.

I am being moved. The temperature is right. Why, why didn't you, didn't you recently talk about this, that it's that sort of thing of you'll never get that experience of your dad taking you out of a car. Oh yeah. That's the last time I can remember falling asleep in, in a vehicle was as a young child. I think I haven't done it in 30 years. I can't like, even if someone else is driving, I'm just, I'm just wired if I'm in a vehicle.

You can't sleep on planes either. You can't sleep on planes. You can't sleep on planes. You can't sleep on planes that much, right? Hmm. So excited. I'm in a car. I love the car.

Yeah. I love the car's franchise. So maybe that's, that's. Transference. No, I don't like, I actually don't like being in cars. I get very anxious driving or being a passenger. I'm sure that's part of it. You get the urge to fucking put the car into oncoming traffic.

Am I wrong? You have the urge to fucking turn the wheel. The unwanted thoughts. We're all like a moment away from going Michael Douglas and falling down, right? Absolutely losing it. Eliza, I got to ask you something. Oh, God. Now on a lot of, on a lot of,

What is it? What is it? On a lot of film and TV shows. What the hell? Is it a ghost? No. You know what it was? It was Alexa thought I said, thought I said.

Oh, with my name? Yeah. That's what it was. She's talking right now. She's still talking. I don't know what the fuck she's talking about. I can't hear. I enjoy talking to my Alexa.

It sounds like you're recording a bad podcast. Would you please stop? I'm talking to my Alexa. Like she's my 13 year old daughter that I've had enough of. Alexa, stop. Alexa. Stop. I'm so sorry.

She's not like this usually. Alexa, if you don't stop, you'll eat in your room. Sorry. That would rule. So a lot. So a lot of film and TV shows, they have military advisors. Was that kind of why you hired Weiger for Earth to Ned, the show about this alien creature?

Yes. That was it. I was like, we need someone to take the alien perspective here and be able to live in the brain of a non-human residing on Earth and parsing their way through human culture. Yeah. And I was like, who can do that more than someone who I know who has set up ways to quantify fast food

or qualify rather fast food with tables and charts. So it, yeah, pretty much. He's the charts guy. Also, he's funny sometimes and we needed some of that too. So, yeah. Disagree. Oh, but that's your banter. That's how you guys do.

Will they? Won't they? When's it going to happen? Sam and Diane. Eliza, I have to ask because I'm asking this of everyone because there are unique circumstances right now. How has being locked in during this time of quarantine affected your dietary habits?

I've started eating my hair. No. I've gotten a lot better at cooking. There's a lot of things that I make now that I'm like, I can't believe I ever thought this was not something I could just make. Right. I kind of have anything that I want.

That's probably the main thing. What's an example of something you're like, I never deigned to try this in the past, but you know what? I'm just going to go for it. I make chilaquiles for breakfast like every day. Wow. Yeah.

Like from scratch. And that to me before I was like, well, that's something only a restaurateur could do. I'm like, just wake up and chop up my onions, my vegetables and get it all going. Bam, bam, boom. Damn. Got a brunch level breakfast every day.

I've gotten into making Ethiopian food, which is a lot easier than I thought, but the injera, which is the buckwheat bread, I haven't been able to make that yet because it takes 96 hours and it's fermented from the yeast and the air. And I'm like, I don't even know if I've got yeasty air in here. And do I want to know if I've got yeasty air in here? So I'll just, I buy the injera or I order it.

And sometimes the food also, but like every, I can make the foods. That's impressive. Yeah. I've been trying to make my project now and I have not figured it out is making like tempura, Japanese eggplant medallions and then putting honey on that because I saw it on Britain's best home cook,

which is one of my favorite quarantine shows now. It's got Mary Berry from Great British Bake Off, but I'm not that much of a baking person. So this is, it's pretty much Great British Bake Off, but they're making like roasts and risotto and stuff that I actually am like, oh, I want to try to make that. That's more my speed because I always, you know, baking is such a formula.

And I always feel like I'm just going to fuck it up because it, hey, I have to be so precise with everything. Yeah. There's not a lot of in the moment creativity with baking. Right. Following an exact recipe and then trying to make it look perfect. And neither of those things are, are my strong suits. Yeah.

I mean, honestly, look, I need to start. I was telling you guys I've been doing some taxes and I, and I spent as a single man who lives alone. I eat out. Two men who live together. I eat out constantly and I, and I'm like, oh, I got to, I spent too much money on takeout and stuff. But baking and the stuff you're talking about,

it just seems like it's a, it seems like that's three hours of, of my day that I, that's what I thought, but it doesn't actually take that long. But on the other hand, as far as eating out, ordering out, I've been, anytime I do that, my stance on myself is I am an American hero. I am a hero. I am helping the industry.

I am helping restaurants. I am such a good person. It's almost selfish to cook at home. You know what? I never thought about myself that way. I am a good person. Yeah. But yeah.

Definitely. I think if you're supporting a local business and you're, and you're tipping well and it's, you know, and you're not dining in, then I think that's, yeah, those all seem like positive things. McDonald's is pretty local. It was created in California. I think it's expanded since then.

I, um, it's funny that different food things that have become comforts, like I, the idea of a happy male popped into my head a couple of months ago and I was like, Oh no, I want it so bad. Like with a toy in the box and it all smells salty. Oh God. But they don't even do that.

Do it that way anymore. I tweeted something about it. And so like other people were like, yes, I want this. Or maybe actually, I think Lauren left cause we did something about it. And I was like, I was just thinking this anyway. Um, Aaron Whitehead, you guys know her.

Uh, Of course. Responded to all of this saying exactly which happy meal toy she wanted, which was the, uh, Gonzo in a plane. And I found it on eBay. Wow.

I bought it in the center tour. It was like, get some food, stick it in a bag with this guy. It's as close as we can get. If this is going to make some joy for this weird quarantine life. It's amazing that you can just find all that shit. That just basically anything that's ever been,

you bundled with a fast food item is, is available for resale. Well, I mean, I collected some of that stuff when I was a, an action figure collector, which I was, which I was collecting figures before I was reading comic books. That's what got me into comic books,

which is how you know that I had a limited number of friends. I was a real super nerd. But yeah, you would be like, Oh yeah, you got to, we got to go and get all of the, all the X-Men cartoon toys, save them. These are going to be worth so much money. It cut to me like 20 years later selling an entire box of some still in the packages, action figures, happy meal toys,

all that shit for like 20 bucks for the whole huge comic book, long box of them. Yeah. Cause I guess there was a lot of that's the, when collecting that became more of a thing, it's just like the value got depressed because they weren't, nothing was rare anymore. Right. I remember we had,

we had some Kenner Star Wars action figures that for a time were pretty valuable, but then there became like, you know, then subsequently everyone began collecting these things. But now there's just no market for them. Yeah. I read a book about the beanie baby bubble. That was pretty fascinating. Cause like the guy who started beanie babies is like this toy Liberace kind of guy

who's had all this plastic surgery and is very fancy. And his thing with the beanie babies was that when they first came out, the colors of them weren't exactly right for his, his dream each time. And so we'd be like, we have to redo these peacocks. They need to be a more green shade of blue. And so people would see them in stores and be like, Oh shit, there's variations.

That probably means they're worth something. And then people were like, mortgaging their house to buy more beanie babies eventually. Yeah. I remember that whole trend. It was bananas. Yeah. So many people just thought this was like an ironclad investment.

Like they were getting in on the ground floor with Yahoo stock. And it was, and then it was just like, yeah, do you see that photo of that, that it's like this, this couple getting a divorce and they're splitting up their beanie baby collection in court? Yeah. It's just like, what a fucking bizarre time capsule. I mean,

at least stay together till the beanie babies are in college or something. Did you guys, did you guys ever collect stuff? I collected everything. I had a collection before it was of certain things. It was a box that I called my collection and I just put shit in there. Wow. Wow.

I'm a big time collector. So did you guys ever have any collections? I am a hoarder. So in many ways, yes. Yeah. Charges of toenails. You're in. Charges of toenails and you're in.

I'm not Howard Hughes wags. I didn't save any of that stuff. No, you're not a hygienic man, but you have a lot of clutter. You have a lot of possessions that you want to hold on to. I have a lot of, yeah. So yes, I remember at one point I had, I did get pogs at one point.

I think like any, like I was on that, oh yeah. I was on that trend of like any sort of 80s and 90s things of like Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters. And then like it started to, the sun started to set around Power Rangers. That's kind of my, so like that is, and I could say anything that any kid in that stretch had,

and I probably, food fighters wag or do you remember, I've talked about them on the show before. Oh yeah, I've talked about those in a long time. Food fighters. I had like every battle trolls I had. That was like the height of advertising to kids. It was such, hey, are you cool? Want to be?

How about you fight with these fighting food toys? And I feel like I do want to be accepted. Like, I mean, maybe I just don't watch kids TV anymore, but that feeling of being manipulated into being cool and popular from these toys that yes, were built to be collected because they were only, well, I mean, if you have the grilled cheese, you got to get the pizza.

Yeah. Can you play with just one? I feel like I had most of the, like I think not most of, but probably like at least three or four of them. I remember battle trolls, which I didn't even, one, I for real was afraid of trolls. I saw that movie.

I saw that movie troll. Remember that movie troll? I saw that as a young kid. Oh, this was a horror movie. Yeah. Sunny Bono's in it. Yeah. It's a famous part of the era of little,

little thing horrors. So, so you had your, your, your gremlins. You had your chuds. You had your trolls. Yes. Troll and Troll. Of course. The Goolies.

Julia Louis Dreyfus is in it too. Sunny Bono, Julia Louis Dreyfus in like a very, very, very early role. But there's a little troll in it. And he fucking, he sticks people with the, with the fucking his ring that has a little thing on it. It's, it scared me. And so I was legit afraid of trolls.

Hmm. But then battle trolls came out and battle trolls. I, I, the, the commercial worked. Battle trolls are out of control. That was the commercial and it worked on me. I got the battle trolls. I don't remember the battle trolls at all. Multitudes, Mitch.

Yeah. Watchimals were too cool. So I got watchimals. I'll tell you one troll thing I did like the, the ride that a Disney, the, uh, what was it called? A Disney world. Oh, the one in the, the, the, the Iceland ride or the Norse ride. Yeah.

Yeah. The, yeah. It was the Norway. It was like, here's how we get oil out of the ocean. And this is how we fish and make sweaters. And also there's a troll now. Go back. It didn't make any sense.

It was cause it's Epcot where it's all about, um, science or industry. Right. Yeah. It was called, it was called Maelstrom was the, was the name of the ride. Um, They replaced it with the frozen ride.

They replaced it with the fucking frozen ride, which is trash. I'm sure it's not, it's not about the industry of Norse countries. And then suddenly trolls trying to get your, your little boat. Um, they took away Ellen's energy adventure also,

which really fucking bums me out. Wow. I got, I got, I got stuck on that ride once and, uh, Ellen started yelling at us. What are you doing here? Get out of here. You stink.

Wow. Yeah. So she treated you guys the way she treats, uh, her writers apparently. Maybe that's where she gets writers. If you can withstand this ride, you can work. You're, you're saft.

Eliza, do you have, are you, do you like in a, do you like a theme park? Yeah. Are you a theme park enthusiast? Love them. Yeah. Uh, part of my regression in. Um,

I mean, I think that I think the Quar has been, um, buying a lot of, uh, like memorabilia from my local theme parks from when I was a kid. Wow. So like rides that have been taken away because they killed people and stuff.

Uh, getting T shirts for those, um, really regressing and living. Uh, my, my dream life when I was 11, they'd get to ride the shockwave and the Loch Ness monster as often as they want.

And now I'm like, yeah, that's me. That's me. It take it back. Wow. What were some of your, wait, what were some of your local parks and what were some of your favorite attractions?

Um, Kings Dominion, which then became Paramounts Kings Dominion and, uh, Bush Gardens, Bush Gardens, Williamsburg, which I like Bush Gardens because it was divided. It was the old country.

So you know how to have like different worlds in any theme park. This one, those worlds were different countries. So all the rides were country themed. So it would be like, oh, you ride on Da Vinci's cradle in the Italy. You can also get pasta there.

Um, and in Scotland they had the Loch Ness monster, which was a great ride. It's a bunch of loops, double loops. There's an inside blue part moves really fast and the line moves fast. I really liked the big bad wolf. That was one of those ones.

You were kind of like hanging like you would be in a ski lift. Um, so it really swung the around a whole lot, but it did murder a park employee. So they had to get rid of that. Wait, what, what nation was that affiliated with Germany?

Got it. Yeah. It's like a brother's grim thing. I guess that's the connection. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. I think it's a German folk tale.

Okay. Um, and it, at Kings Dominion, I'm surprised that Germany even got rid of the ride after a long time. It seems like we shouldn't let the ride go on. It seems like it's just a,

uh, on brand. It's, it's not that era of Germany. Hmm. All right. Um, and at Kings Dominion,

they had, uh, a, uh, a standup roller coaster called the shock wave that was very uncomfortable to ride. Yeah. Especially as a smaller child,

um, right after you hit that, you're tall enough to ride it thing. But it was a very cool badge of honor to be like, Oh yeah. I totally go on the shock wave. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's, um, me and my sister's boyfriend, we ride it. Um, and I don't cry. Um, dope. I don't understand the,

uh, the desire to make like the standing coaster. It's like, what's, that's so not, what's fun about that? That's just, it's just a,

sitting up for bad. Yeah. I guess so. The shock is just, uh, going to go into your back. It's just, it's just uncomfortable. Yeah.

It was very uncomfortable. And you'd have a thing, um, under, like under your crotch, like a bicycle seat sort of thing. And so the sizing on all of it, it was not, it was not precise about like where the shoulder part is,

where the crotch thing is, where the head rest is. So some part of you was getting banged around. Yeah. You're not quite like standing fully upright. You're kind of perched on a ledge. Yeah. Yeah.

It's, it's, I feel like anytime I've been on something like that, it's, it's been uncomfortable. A dangling legs one, I can get more on board with. Cause that's like,

all right. I, I understand the appeal here and I understand how this is, this is a different experience from sitting down and maybe a fun way. But the standing, eh, good.

What are you doing? Yeah. Um, in middle school, one of like, in one, there was, each year there was like some stupid field trip you took.

It was to canopy lake park, which is nearby in, in Massachusetts, which is, in hindsight, such a shitty, I think one of them also was like in seventh or eighth grade, I think there was a trip to Washington DC, but everyone was very excited about the canopy lake park

because it was like a amusement park, you know? Yeah. And it, and just looking back on it, it's the shittiest, I think I've said on this podcast before, but I like, did like the,

the hall of mirrors and just fucking slammed my face into the glass, like three times, like I hurt myself. I saw that happen one time at a hall of mirrors in San Francisco. Oh no, wait, no, it was in, it was in Scotland. Yeah.

And it was really crazy. This woman, it was, it had been like the spooky kind of place in general where like, you're seeing different spooky wax works. And so we were being led through it by a spooky tour guide. And so when the spooky tour guide got to the hall of mirrors part, they were like,

see if you can figure it out. And if you're brave, why not run? And this one lady was like, okay. And like ran straight into a mirror, bounced off, Pat,

like didn't pass out, but like collapsed on the floor and then like got herself up. And the, like teen who was in character as the spooky tour guide was like, Oh no. Oh no. Oh gosh. Oh,

turn on the lights, turn on the lights. It was like, instantly, they were like, you weren't supposed to really run. And the lady, I think was like Dutch or something was like,

but you said to run. Dear God. Interrupted you. No, that was, I mean, that was my story was just, I just slammed into it multiple times. And,

and it's, multiple times. I mean, probably two or three. I think that I, I put my hands up eventually. And the Turkish twist. So I was,

that was the Turkish twist. What is the Turkish twist? It's just one of those rides where you are standing up and then it spins around and then the floor drops out. And then like every like 10 times someone pukes and they have to clean up. I've never seen somebody puke in one of those. Oh man.

They used to puke all the time. I didn't puke in one, but I got very nauseated to the point where it kind of just ruined my day. I was just like, so like I just, I needed to rest for like two hours afterwards before I could get back into theme park.

I mean, especially on top of the food that you're eating at a place like that. Yes. Like there, it's not, it's not like steamed rice and boiled chicken. Right. You're,

you're eating like popcorn, shrimp and pizza. Funnel. Funnel. You're just, it's funnel. It's a funnel cake day. Yeah.

You know what? The worst, the worst theme park food I've ever had is at Lego land. Just abs, just no good options. You scoop up some Legos. You were eating the wrong stuff. Oh no.

Weiger. Just because it's shaped like a, like a hamburger. Got to check and see if it's made out of little tiny squares. Um, they just like, it felt like they were, cause that place is so specifically just for kids. And you know,

we were like there with my niece and nephew. And so it was like, it's good. Yeah. They, they, it's all just like the shittiest pizza, the shittiest burgers,

like there's just like the shittiest kids food. And that's what you have as, as an option for an adult. I was just like, man, I can't, I can't get anything decent. I'm surprised they didn't throw your Lego looking ass up on a display.

You fucking, fucking blocky bitch. Okay. I look like a block guy. Okay. You look like you made out of Lego blocks. Fucking blocky bitch. I look like a man.

Very confident about this dunk. I don't know if it went through the basket. I can say I have a, I have a robotic personality, but they actually look like I made out of Legos. You look like a fucking, you look like a Lego man. You got a red,

you got a red shirt on today too. You don't, you don't, you're, you're the, the brim of your hat isn't curved. You just put on like a Lego man's hat. But his is on his head. You're just sort of laid atop yours. Yeah. Wait, I think maybe this is projection.

I think we take your, we take your hat off. There might be a little bolt on top that it's attached to. I don't bolt on my head. You got a bolt head. If anything, you've already established that I have bolts on the side of my neck. It's Frankenstein.

I'm a Frankenman. Eliza, do you have any favorite, on the topic of theme park food, do you have any favorites, any go-tos either at generalities or specific fair? Well, it's tough cause I can't have wheat, which blows. It is not fun.

I know that a lot of people have opinions about people who don't eat wheat and as one, I don't enjoy it. I would not choose it. It's simply something my butt requires. So that limits things at theme parks. Right. Before that,

definitely it would have been a, a funnel cake, a corn dog, the finest foods. As it is now, I mean, honestly, some good fries.

Oh, there you go. I like a great fry. And here's something that frustrates me. This is the opposite of what you were asking. At Disneyland, there are all these places selling those, and other places sometimes too, those like chocolate covered apples on a stick.

Yes. Great. Love them. Wow. So many options. They got like sprinkles on top of them. They got caramel also. Yum, yum, yum.

Great. I know. I know more as caramel apples for sure. Yeah. I mean, they, they mix it all up. It's, it's the science of candy. Apples has really grown.

But I, every time I'm like, Hey, Oh, you have those. Great. Could I get that cut up? Like into slices and they're like, no, I'm like,

why, why not? Why can't you cut that into slices for me? The, I think it's called the, the Rocky Mountain chocolate shop. It's in a lot of some airports. They'll cut it into little slices.

Wow. Cause if you cut them in the slices, then you have a delightful little cold piece of apple with yummy candy on it. If you keep it on the stick, you're just gnawing and drooling on this stick all day. It's kind of, it's the turkey leg quandary.

Yeah. But the turkey leg like falls apart. This is, you're just, you're just gnawing on a, on a sweet rock. I've never seen someone walking around enjoying one of them.

You have to bite into it. And then you're, you're getting the gooey face too, which is never fun. Yeah. I mean, as, as a little caramel goatee, I'm imagining,

like at a certain point, that apple is just sticking to your face. Yeah. If, if, if a customer service is supposed to be so important, cut up my apple. Wow.

Cut it up and give me a little, give me a little toothpick or something to eat it with. Sure. That's even better. Jesus. Come on. Why not? I took a fork.

They buy forks anyway. They've already got forks on site. You want them to stick a little toothpicks in each apple piece. Come on. Why are you not each individual one? Give me one that they can reuse. I can spirit. I can eat it.

It would be like a little mini fork. Yeah. But you know, you would drop that and then feel sad and everybody would not want to make eye contact. I feel like, I feel like, I feel like you're working for,

I feel like you're working for big wood. Oh, who's he? Introduce me, fellas. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more Doe Boys. Welcome back to Doe Boys, our guest Eliza Skinner talking about Blaze Pizza.

Yeah. Blaze Pizza founded in 2011 by the Wetzels. I did not know this. The Wetzel. The Wetzel. It's pretzel adjacent. It's pretzel adjacent.

This is Rick and Elise Wetzel. Wow. Of Wetzel's pretzels. It came up with this new concept. One of the original investors, LeBron James, which is well known, and over 300 locations in North America and the Middle East.

So, Eliza, before we went to break, we were talking about how, you know, you don't eat wheat for health reasons. I'm curious, why Blaze Pizza was a chain you wanted to discuss?

Well, they do have a lot of gluten-free options. Also, I'm generally not a pizza fan. I wrote an article once for the internet. Yes. For finery 29.

Talking about how I don't like pizza, and honestly, it's the most harassed I've ever gotten for anything. Like, there were people who were finding me on every social media account I have, going back,

kind of like, you know, you know, one woman I remember, and they were saying things like, I hope you don't reproduce because you don't like pizza. Like,

your bloodline should die with you. And one woman was doing that. Well, guess what? Strap in because I'm about to roast you too. I'm fucking pissed. One lady went back and was commenting on all the old Instagrams,

and then on one of them, noticed that Adam Conover had commented all the time, and he was like, I don't like pizza. I don't like pizza. I don't like pizza. And then he noticed that Adam Conover had commented also.

And so she went from being like, hey, fuck you, hey, idiot. And then was like, oh, Adam, hi, I'm a big fan of yours. And that was the, when I finally engaged with her, because I was like, no, no,

you don't get to do that. You don't get to, you don't get to shit all over me on all these posts and then try to be friends with my friend. And she was like, I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time getting pregnant. I'm like, well,

that's a different problem. Oh my goodness. The internet's a wild place is the moral of that story. But I like, I was interested in blaze because they've got a lot of gluten free options and they'll sell you a half pizza. Yes.

Cause one of my problems with pizza is, is this the amount of pizza that I as a single person need? What am I going to try to save it? Yeah, right. Yes. I mean, cause I was going to, cause that's the whole thing of blaze is that they are designed around personal pizzas,

which are meant to be just like a meal for one, but they did recently add large pizzas to the menu. This is a new thing where yeah, you can get a full size or you can get a half if you like. And I guess this is them attempting to compete with the dominoes and pizza huts of the world. But wait, let's, I want to clarify this for,

for people who haven't seen your article, like what specifically doesn't appeal to you about pizza? Why doesn't it, why isn't one of America's favorite foods click for you specifically? Well, it's a lot of stuff around the, it's the culture of pizza.

First of all, the like, what's my personality pizza? Like, no, there's too much. This has become too much of a thing. Also in, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta quickly say that there, there was a nine and eighties and nineties thing with that.

That was kind of beautiful and that like, we love pizza and it's pizza night, but then when it became like, like, that was when it was for kids. Yes. This is a kid identity thing, but now it's like 30 year olds being like,

Hey, here's my Tinder profile on pizza. Yes. My personality is carry out pizza. Yes. My personality is pizza. That sort of stuff sucks, but there was,

there was a beautiful version of that where it was, you know, back in the day where it was very, seemed very genuine and nice. Yeah. Yeah. But again, I would say that's a kid thing because like,

I think also a lot of the, a lot of the pizza love, I'm like, this is a kid's food. Like it's fine if you, I mean, yes, of course there's hiring and stuff, but for the most part it's like,

I'll eat chicken fingers, but I'm not going to be like, I'm a chicken finger guy, like whatever, come on. Yes. And what I really hate is when people attempt to pay in pizza or provide pizza to their adult employees as like,

okay, we need to feed you. Here is pizza. I'm like, that's terrible. That's not a good food for your employees, especially here in Hollywood. One of the first things that made me angry at pizza was I would be working on sets and we would hire actresses

specifically who had come in and have even more of a pressure to look a certain way and then try to feed these ladies pizza. I'm like, oh, we're part of the gas letting problem of Hollywood. We're asking these women to be tiny and then being like, all right,

try to manage maintaining that figure and here's what you get to eat for the day. That's sex. That's not cool. Exactly. There is an aspect of like, this is a workplace and that's not like working food. That's going to fucking weigh you down

and fucking make you have to shit. That's not what you want to be doing when you have to fucking work 12 hours. Yeah. If your work is providing food for you, it should be the best kind of food for your body, I think. Right. It should be really healthy.

And if on your own time, you want to treat yourself, bang yourself around with some fucked up pizza, do it. Great. But that's your choice. That's not well. That's what I have to do, I suppose. So that I,

it's funny that on multiple levels, like on the smallest production and then like the, and then on like a $200 million production, everyone is ordering pizza. That is like, it just is going to happen. It's the easiest thing to get.

It feeds multiple people. I mean, it's like it is in their eye and like producers eyes. I think it is the perfect, like it's the perfect extra penalty meal food there is. There's like nothing that can, there's nothing that tops it. The only thing that's bad now

is that in these times of Corona virus, pizza goes right out the window because it's a big shit. It's a, that's what it used to be. It used to be 40 boxes of pizza. Yeah. So like a cast and crew was just going at, was just going at the boxes and ripping them apart. But now communal,

the communal aspect is going to probably go down, right? I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I think families are still doing that stuff. And I think if you've got a small set where you're, you've got pods on it anyway, they'll probably do that. But also on a,

on a personal level, when I would be on a set and they'd be like, Hey, don't worry guys, we got everybody pizza. I'd be like, Oh, cool. Well, I guess Eliza is eating air for dinner. Cause I can't eat pizza. So, Here's the thing I've noticed in workplace ordering situations,

both offices and on sets, is that if there is an effort to accommodate anyone's dietary restrictions, it's a catch all. So it'll be like, Hey, we got the vegan gluten free pizza for ages. Like, well, some people are vegan. Some people are gluten free.

Like it, like it's not like you should be isolated with this one, like, you know, this one special pizza, like try to accommodate people in the, for their specific, their specific issues. Yeah. You may have seen me snap over a gluten free vegan pizza one day at work where, cause I would get so tired. And we had really long hours on set on earth to bed and the kind where like you, you're just going

and you don't realize how tired you're getting. Cause you're going so hard all day. And then it would be time for a meal. And it was like, here's this thing that's partly what you can eat and partly something you would never choose to eat, but it's all that we have for you. And I was like, what? Why? Like that kind of brain where you're,

I don't know, your blood sugar or whatever has just made your brain bad. Yes. You're like, I can't, my priorities are fucked now. I don't think I yelled at anybody, but I was definitely in a snitty little mood about, about that. At the Simpsons, we get, we, I would get dinner and this is a show that's been on for, you know, forever when I was working there was in 25 seasons. And then we'll get pizza for dinner.

I would say at least two nights a week, if not usually three nights a week. At the Simpsons, Mulberry pizza, Johnny's pizza, I used to go in there and get basically a pizza per writer, a large pizza per writer. But, but that's just, it is, it is what it is. That's what it pizzas it. Pizza is the, it's that weird thing where I wonder if people realize that if they think that there's like, you know,

like the catering or food trucks again when it goes into, it goes into the later hours, but no, it is usually, it is just usually pizza, which I love. So I don't have an issue with it. I kind of, I kind of am happy. And it's that sort of thing of like, oh man, I gotta eat. Like I have that thing too. Do you buy pizza on your own very often?

I do buy pizza on my love. I love pizza. I love pizza. So when you're choosing, you're also like pizza. So it's not like a, well, I'm allowed to eat it because they ordered for me. The issue is that I'm not ordering pizza a lot just because it's not good. You know what I mean? Like on my cheat nights or whatever, I'll try to do pizza more so.

But you're a pizza is my favorite food guy, right? Yeah, I love pizza, but I'm not, but I'm not my personality is pizza guy to be clear. I do not like that at all. I love the food pizza and I love to try new pizzas and I am a fan of pizza. I think I get though, but I get when you're eating pizza, when you're eating pizza five nights a week, which can happen. That's not crazy. That happens probably a lot with productions.

That you get sick of it. I get, I get getting sick of it and the health thing. But for me, it was always the sort of thing of like, oh man, this isn't good for me, but I'm working late and I got to do it. So I just would eat it, which is kind of fake. Yeah, it feels like if you're mindfully eating pizza, if you're choosing pizza and it's like your dream pizza, great. If it's lazy pizza.

I think that I think we need to as a culture explore some other options. Sure. Chipotle kind of became that. I feel like Chipotle, which is, which is a lot like today's restaurant. Chipotle kind of became the other, the other, but the other thing was. It inadvertently or not an incredible segue because Chipotle was the direct inspiration for this chain. The Wetzels were added Chipotle in Pasadena and they said, we should do this for pizza.

And so Blaze was born. Which Nick, I got to say right off the bat. This is early to say this. I don't think it works. I don't think you can chipotle fire. Wow. I don't, I don't think you can chipotle fire pizza. And it's basically for what I was just saying is that sort of thing of pizza.

Chipotle is a thing that like I'm like, okay, here's my slop and I'm going to eat it. If I have to, if I, if I, yeah, if I have to eat it, if I have to eat it three times a week. My little plastic basket trough. It is in here. It is in a little trough. It's that sort of thing. If I have to eat that, if I have to eat that for, for dinner three times a week, I know what I want.

And then also you can customize it enough to change it up. Yeah. Pizza. I'm not going to want to eat it as much as Chipotle just because with Chipotle you can do some sort of salad. You can do whatever. But like the base of pizza is big, is a big thing of dough. It's a big block of dough, which is going in your stomach.

So that's why I don't think it works as well. I think the place is fascinating in a lot of, in a lot of ways, but I, to me, just the concept of it is kind of even crazy. Do you think they picked the wrong thing to revolutionize? Yeah. I think, I may have told you guys this before. If I was going to make my fortune in food, it would be a pizza place, which I know, I know.

I just said it only. But where the toppings are diced, tiny, teeny, tiny, tiny, except maybe those pepperonis that cup, you know, you got all like texture thing with that. But all those, all those other toppings, cut them up teeny, tiny and mix them all in there. So you get a little bit of everything in the bites and you don't end up with like a hot piece of spinach or something slapping you in the face with topping. I hate that. Right.

Or like a tomato, tomato, like burn the shit out of you. You got them all teeny, tiny's. That's the way to do it. There's a pizzeria in Long Beach that has, they grind their pepperoni. So it's like a layer and then they put the cheese over it. And I know that they're probably not the only place that does that, but like it works really well, texturally. Yeah.

That sounds great. Yeah. I'm with you. I like a little, I like a, you know, give me a fine dice. Give me some small pieces. That absolutely. Like is anybody like, ooh, you know what I love? A real long strip of bell pepper.

But no one wants that. Dice them up. Yeah. Make them little. Look, this is another issue. Vegetables are hard to, vegetables are tough in pizza too. You don't like vegetables. Vegetables are hard to eat, but vegetables and pizza.

When I was younger, one of my favorites, when you go to the Villarosa, a Quincy staple rest in peace. I was going to ask that was possibly in Quincy. Yeah. It was, it was, it was, it was like my favorite restaurant growing up and like, that's where I went, like, you know, before I went to college and when I come home from college and get Villarosa and stuff. Celebration spot.

Yeah. But also like we would still do it like weekly, but even like, like. Does Regina know about this? Oh, I mean, look, Regina is, is, Nick, you just, it's different things here, Nick. Hmm. Sounds like you're stepping out. Pizza and Calzone. It's different thing.

It's it. Look, I used to get a house, a small house salad, Buffalo fingers, Buffalo tenders, which were great, Nick, which I got to, I got to have you, you got to try some good Buffalo tenders. And I know, I know you don't believe it, but there are some really, really good Buffalo tenders, but whatever. I'm down. I like bone in, but I'll, I'll try attendee.

I'm sure it can be all right. When you say tendee, it just, I lose interest in making you try them. Honestly. I mean, I got to say, I think tendee sounds better than Buffalo fingers because I'm just, I can't stop thinking about those Buffalo hands now. I do kind of, I kind of do have Buffalo fingers. And I also don't like why I'm saying bone in either. Yeah.

You want that bone out. Get that bone out of here. Get that fucking thing out of here. But, and I, we used to do it. I would do a cheese. We sometimes we get a cheese pizza and then on one side we do sliced tomatoes. So I actually, and they were, and they were big rounds tomatoes, but they were pretty thin.

But the thing you're talking about at the drag, that would sometimes still happen. It could be a tricky eating experience. But they cooked it well. I think there can be, I think that there can be vegetables that are just cooked horribly and become a soup on top of the pizza. And that is, and that is awful. And that I don't, I'm not a fan of that. And that's a lot of like, a lot of vegetarian pizzas that you get, or like vegetable pizzas

rather. They really pile the vegetarian, the vegetables on there when they're like more is more. No, no, no, no less is not with that. Yeah. I wish you could, what a, what a, I loved it. I miss it. I miss it to this day. Wow.

If I could, if I could have it come back and you go away forever, I'd take it. Oh man, they can't wait for the season wrap up. They're going to kiss. Let's get into what we got from our blaze visit. So had you been to blaze before? Once by mistake. Got it. Okay.

I hadn't really put much thought into my order before. I've been a, I've been a handful of times. We've covered it only in the context of our tournament of champions, the slices right when we, when blaze was one of the chains we visited was, did, did not last too long in the tournament, but you know, I think it was, it does its own thing. I will say that it, so normally this is a walk in place. Like you go in and it's like the Chipotle experience. You go, you, you specify your pie, you customize it.

You're, you know, it's, it's being made to order in front of you and then shoved into that super hot oven and presented to you a few minutes later. 800 degrees, a similar concept, same sort of thing. So doing it online, it's, it's, it's just a different experience. And I hadn't pre-ordered it before, but I used the app this time. I got the, I got a classic Caesar simple salad. I got an order of two dough knots, which are like their, their garlic knots. They have mozzarella and garlic pesto.

I got a, one of their new large pizzas, I mentioned they were offering these now, I got the white top, which is white cream sauce with mozzarella, applewood bacon, chopped garlic, oregano and arugula. And then I also got a personal, which is their, their, you know, standard version of pizzas. They're flagship pizza. I got a hot link pizza, which is the Italian sausage, banana peppers, jalapenos, black olives, red onions, mozzarella and spicy red sauce. That was my lineup.

Mitch, what did you get? Wags, you and I got very similar orders. I got myself a Greek salad to start, which came with a little, a small or regular sized Greek salad, which came with the lime dressing. And then I got myself dough knots, which I thought the guy said, I said, what else do you, I said, what do you got here? He said, he said dough and I said doughnuts. I said back to him doughnuts.

I thought he said doughnuts. And, uh, why not garlic knots? Why don't they just call them garlic knots? Like everybody else would. I'm using name. You, they should call them. And so I, I got, I got, I also got two dough knots. Don't get the dough knots.

I mean, it's, we'll get to the, we'll get to them in a second. Oh, no, no, no. I'm saying there's, there's some things to talk about about these dough knots and whether you're right of, they should stick around in any way. They're, they're, they're kind of, they're interesting. They're different than I thought they would be, honestly. And not a hundred percent bad, but we'll talk about it. And then I got myself a meat eater pizza, which as far as pizza goes is not

even, it's not really that crazy. I had a macaroni crumbled meatballs, red onion, mozzarella, red sauce. Um, and, and, um, I added a couple things to it. I added banana peppers and I added tomatoes. So I, and, uh, they have those kind of little cherry tomatoes. So that was that's, that's how I customized it. And I also got myself a large or just whatever size it came in, uh, blood orange lemonade from the fountain, which, which the guy at the

front counter went and got himself. He was, he, he, the, during Corona, which I got to say the staff was very nice, but there was a lot of Nick, we talked about this. A lot of people behind the counter. Um, I, I, yeah, I, I think the issue here is everyone who worked there was, uh, was great, but I do, I did feel bad for them because it felt like the kitchen was a little crowded and also the dining room like did not management did not have any sort of great queue system set up.

Like people were just sort of like milling about. We're talking QAnon again. Yeah. We're talking QAnon. QAnon up for that pizza. So they, so it was just like, uh, people were like, like kind of scattered everywhere. It felt like there were too many people in the restaurant.

I was just like, I wish there was just a better system here for everyone's well-being, especially the employees who have to sit in that, be at work in that super hot kitchen for eight hours. I have to say that, that oven is so hot. Yeah. During the, the type of weather we've been having to have to be next to that weather, that, that oven, let alone with too many other employees. Yeah.

No, no fun. No fun. Yeah. Um, Eliza, Eliza, what was your lineup of, of, uh, of menu items? Okay. Well, I went twice. Um, because I wanted to, I felt like last time I did the show, I was like,

I'm not a fan of the thing, but you guys are like, you know, really, really investigating. So it was like, I want to have a real experience, feel like I know this place. Um, but also I did do, uh, I ordered it. Um, so I got the first time I got a, a red vine, which is kind of their pizza margarita, like red sauce and like the dollops of, um, uh, mozzarella, basil, and tomatoes.

Uh, and I got that on their gluten free dough. If you had gone and gotten a singular red vine, I would have been pissed. And then I got twizzlers the second time. No, yeah, I guess they're, I guess it's red vine because tomatoes aren't on a vine. Makes sense. Tomato based, but it is confusing.

Bad name. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and, but I wanted to get something from there. Like here's what we would do menu. Um, so that was the red vine, even though that's not particularly interesting version of it. Um, and then I got a two top pizza the next time. Um, and this one I got on their keto crust, which is also gluten free. It's a little bit smaller. Uh, it's a 10 inch.

And I got it with the spicy red sauce, goat cheese, crumbled meatballs and mushrooms and the arugula on top. What, what, do you know what their keto crust is? Is it like a cauliflower base? Do you have any idea? You know, cause they also have a cauliflower based one. And for tasting it, I, I would guess it's maybe some kind of nut thing. It tastes a little bit nutty. Um, maybe it has some cauliflower to, I don't, I don't know, but yeah,

they had three different gluten free crust options. I got to try two of them. Um, I had the, uh, they're, they have a, at Marcos, which we reviewed recently, Marcos pizza, they have a, they have a keto version, but it's just like a pizza in a tub, basically. It is like a Chipotle like style bowl with just a bunch of cheese and toppings in it. Does the cheese melted?

Yeah. It's just, it's just like a gooey sort of slop. Yeah. It didn't really work for me. It's kind of, it's like, yeah. What I imagined like, yeah, pizza, the hut ish or something. Pizza has, has some sort of crust. Maybe it's pizza, the huts, is his bones, is his bones bread? Is his, yeah, I think his bones are crust, but they're, but it's stuffed crust. So like if you buy it into it, it's

like the marrow, it's like the most. Oh, the marrow was, was it cheese? Yeah. The most delicious part of it. Did Jabba have bones? Cause I mean, a slug doesn't. Ooh. Great question. I always assumed he had some sort of skeletal system, but maybe not. I feel like he's gotta, he must get a bone every so often because he

was very horny with, he was very horny. Unless he doesn't, and that's why it's so important to him to have hot ladies chained up around him. Cause he's like, I'm still, I'm virile, even though it's like, no dude, we know huts reproduced by sucking their own dicks. You don't have any, you're, you're all asexual. This dope boys could kind of be rebranded as, uh, Jabba the Hutton. What's his little, what's the little guy?

Salacious crumb. Wags is kind of like, Wags is kind of like my little salacious crumb. I don't have the charisma of salacious crumb. Yeah, I feel like, uh, yeah, tonally, no. No. But yeah, if you guys were going to dress up for Halloween, I think everybody would love that.

We should be Jabba and Salacious. Yeah. That would be so cute. Oh my gosh. And, uh, you could put a, uh, a Irma and a little like a Bikini. Man, dressing up one of the, dressing up one of the cat, dressing up Wally of Salacious and Irma as Princess Leia and me as Jabba is pretty great. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. And that way, oh, then Wiger can be frozen in carbonite.

So it would still fit as, you know, I could pull that off. That's a little salacious crumb laugh. Got to teach Wally that. Uh, so, uh, the picks and pans, I would, what, what do we like? What didn't work for us? Hmm. Picks and pans. Yeah.

I liked, I liked that they have a spicy sauce. I liked that they offered, uh, goat cheese with my gut thing, which is all sort of colitis, which is a lot like Crohn's. Um, I'm not supposed to have dairy, but I'm bad and I do it anyway. Sometimes I'll just deal with it. Um, but goat cheese is lactose free naturally. So, Oh wow. I didn't know that. Yeah.

So it's a way of having, um, lack to like no lactose cheese, but it's not that weird. Uh, goat cheese. Um, so I like that stuff. Um, I felt like they're drizzle ons, like they're add on top things. I was like, come on, man, it's already a pizza. What are we doing here? You want to put olive oil on top of it. If it's pizza generally ends up with oil on top of it anyway.

Right. Um, and the gluten free crust was one of the worst things I have ever eaten. Oh no. Wow. And that might have been the cooking. We just got it. We just got it. We got it. Emma's, Emma's here silently with on mute. And when you said that, I just heard, I just saw you, I'm a go, I'm a go. Yup. She said a big Yup. Is that true Emma?

No, I've never, I've never had it, but that sounds pretty, pretty bad. Oh wow. All right. Yeah. It might have been the like cooking method. Like it really made me think, you know, wow, it's so hard to judge any of these places when you're really just judging the work of the one person who cooked this thing for you. Um,

I think especially there as opposed to, I don't know, totally where I'm assuming they cut open some bags in the back and then put them into a thing. I don't know. It was super floppy and super greasy. Um, I considered even cooking it further in my own oven. And then it was like, I can't be bothered.

I, I, I, I, I, I would go a step further and say that at blaze, things are barely even cooked by anyone. There's a machine to press out the dough and then they add on sauce, which by the way, they don't put enough sauce on because the sauce is actually okay. The sauce is like for a big chain. And I think that there's a lot of chains.

We talked about this before where Papa Johns has like kind of like weird, sweet sauce. I think blaze sauce is actually fine. Sure. But they just have a very specific way of making it. They put, they put a machine down, they put the sauce on, and I guess you can just ask for as much as you want anyway. So that's your own fault.

But I think the basis, there's not, there just isn't enough sauce. And then they just sprinkled, it's just an assembly line. It's, there's, there's really no cooking going on. I think, well, I mean, there isn't the pizza oven, but I think that I think that there is an assumed haste that I did not have. Like I wasn't like, get me this pizza stat. But I think they were like, we got it. Who cares?

Maybe it's not even finished cooking. Send it to her. I will say the keto crust, not bad. I mean, it was not as good as a normal pizza crust. But for something that's keto and gluten free, I was like, I don't hate this. So it's just the straight up gluten free one. Very not good.

It's like eating a towel. Yeah. That's a, I mean, that's, that's, that's good. I guess that's great to know if you have any sort of dietary restrictions to go to the keto or the cauliflower. I'd be curious how the cauliflower holds up. That's what I found with, because Natalie a lot of times will avoid a wheat. And I, I've had some cauliflower crusts that are pretty decent.

I feel like that's the one that's, that's closest to simulating pizza, actual pizza dough. I'll tell you, I got scared off of the cauliflower because the calorie count was that much higher. Oh, interesting. Which I wouldn't have guessed. And I was like, come on, you're having pizza, have some pizza. But then I was like, well, I'm, I'm equally interested in trying all three of these. So I'll try the two that are not as high a calorie. I'm surprised by that.

I will say from, from my order, the, the simple salad was just, is just too simple. It was just like the most basic Caesar salad imaginable. Like the produce did not seem particularly fresh. And it really was just romaine and some flakes of Parmesan and then, and then a Caesar dressing. I, for the amount it cost, that was, I was just like, this is, you know, this, I guess if you really, really needed a salad, if you really felt like to justifying this pizza, I need to have some sort of greens, then that would be the only reason I would get this. It just, even as a pizza place salad, I thought it was pretty bad. Mitch, what did you think of those donuts?

So we got the donuts. Look, I will also say, Wiger, when I was in line, when I got to the end of the line is when I saw the big pizzas, I didn't even realize the big pizzas existed. And for me, just wondering what the big pizza would be like, because it, the small ones are kind of floppy as is. So I, I couldn't, I couldn't really imagine what the big ones are like, but It's, it's still pretty thin. I mean, they, that's just their concept. They do a pretty thin crust that they cook rapidly in a high temp oven.

When it came to the donut, when it came to the donuts, they put, look, they were, they came out hot and fresh. And there was kind of like some sort of cheesy thing going on in there, right? Like there's some, there's mozzarella and, there's mozzarella and pesto. And so here's the deal. Don't put pesto in there. Interesting. I had the opposite take. I felt like the, I felt like the pesto was the part that made it at all interesting.

But as a bite, I was like, there's no reason for me that this is just pure, like it's just pure dough. It's just pure carbs. I mean, I'm not like the pesto is the only thing that was giving it any sort of flavor at all. I literally ate them in my car after, this is how I've been eating a lot of Doughboy's meals is because they're in, you know, weird areas. And then if I got, if I'm going to eat it hot and fresh, I got to do it right there in the car. So, so I ate the doughnuts in the car. And again, I think that the sauce is okay. But one, this is a, this is kind of a thing I think is kind of a crime is that the sauce was cold.

No one wants cold marinara sauce. Yeah, the marinara dipping sauce. Yeah. So you don't want cold sauce. I mean, like you got to heat it up somehow. I don't know. Second of all, just pesto took me for surprise, I guess. Because to me it is, and I know that that's interesting. I get what you're saying that it's different and new.

But I think pesto, I don't know. So it's, these are, is there parmesan involved with these knots? Like a traditional garlic knot, you'd have like garlic salt and parmesan on it. Yeah. This is their own take on it and the cheese, the dominant cheese is mozzarella. I think that pesto can just be a little divisive. That's all. And I just wasn't expecting it.

But also, fuck the doughnuts. The doughnuts, fuck them. Who cares? I'm with you there. I think they're completely unnecessary menu item. There's no reason to get it. I think it's just as a place that doesn't have wings. Yes, it's a con.

Which I think it would be great if they had wings. Why not have some wings that you bake in that oven or something? Yeah. That would be, that would be great. But as a place doesn't have wings, they have to justify some sort of side and the doughnuts are just, I've never, I've been impressed with garlic knots once in my life. Wow. There's one place where I've ever had garlic knots where I was like,

I feel like this is worth getting. Certainly, he'll tell us. For the amount of calories and carbs that you're getting, I would rather have another piece of pizza. With like more toppings and stuff on it. Surely you have to tell us where these doughnuts were. The only place there's a, there's a place, is an artisan pizza place in Bakery, Milo and Olive in Santa Monica.

That is very good. But they have like a garlic knot that is just loaded with so much garlic. It's just like they have just like thrown in, you know, like four heads of garlic, like just an insane amount of garlic. And then just by, by its, by its pure like garlicly, garlicy essence, it becomes an interesting menu item. Wait, are you talking about Milo? Wait, what is, what?

Milo and Olive is the name of the restaurant. There's a couple of them. Oh. Is it owned by Milo Yainopoulos? No. Oh yeah, it's also linked to QAnon. It was started by a family plagued by vampires. That's what it is.

Yeah. Trying to keep Dracula's away. Exactly. Got to look out for the Dracula's. They're always like, Hey, can I come in and get a slice? And you, you know, as a, as a, as a shop owner, you want to say yes for the business, but then think about it. Does everybody ask if they can come in and shop there?

No. It's true. The vampire move. We were, we were just talking vampires. I brought up the idea of being an umbrella salesman in Transylvania and Wags didn't, and you thought it was a bad idea. Remember Wags? Eliza, do you understand?

Cause you're shading them from the sun. Okay. So you put it, you put it together in your head. I didn't figure it out. Well, but it's also, I don't know. I mean, we're, that's kind of a twilight. It's a light vampire take. Like you're saying that really what vampires have to look out for is the sunlight touching

their skin. I prefer to think of it as like an hour thing, like as soon as the sun is in the sky, they got to be in the, the earth of their homeland or else, you know, Oh, you're saying that like a vampire, you're saying a vampire can't hide from the sun. They have to be like cup. They have to be cup. So like you're saying that like if there was, They got to be indoors.

It can't just be like cloth separating them. If it was, they would just like walk around like, you know, Halloween ghosts. Right. Wow. I mean, this is, this is. Man, how scary would that be? You see a Halloween ghost walking around underneath. It's a Dracula.

Yeah. It's a real, it's a real strong bully of scariness. It's a turducken of spook. That is a great, that is some sort of structure they need to be. So you're telling me that basically I, I should rework my last coming last comic standing set list right now. I think so. I think you might be late, but I think you could punch it up.

I think there's more, there's more there for you to mine. Look, we just, we haven't talked about. Stand up since you're super into stand up, obviously. You going up a lot. You doing a lot of zoom shows. You're doing a lot of. Doing a lot of zoom shows. Doing a lot of sets.

I never, I never, I never did my, I never did. I've never performed stand up, but I've hosted open mics and I've, I've been up on stage and I, and, um, and my conclusions. And you're an open mic. I am. I share a lot of shit. Why expect a pizza? Why?

You're supposed to keep this thing. You're, you're, you're supposed to steer this ship. So I got the white top pizza I mentioned and the hop. The white top is. So here's what I'll say. They're already on their menus. Those are like, we know this is a combination we've come up with. We like it.

These are their prefab pizzas. And that's what I like to do. Cause I'm like, I don't trust myself to not make a mistake. And I want to make sure that, and I'm taking something that they've designed, that they've engineered in their test kitchens and have decided this is something we want to say is one of our flagship products. The, uh, the white top, I just feel like their, their sauce. Yes.

As you mentioned, Mitch was a strength. So getting a white pizza was just like, I would have rather had some, some of that spicy red sauce on there. Um, I feel like their, their white cream sauce was, was not ideal. And the bacon was pretty good. It was chopped up pretty finely. Uh, a thing you, you talked about earlier, Eliza. And I think that did work for it, but just overall, I like had one slice of this.

And I was like, I don't want another slice. And that's, that's not a great endorsement of pizza. I mean, a white pizza, though, I find tends to be a little bit more rich anyway. It's kind of like the Alfredo of pizza. 100%. I mean, it was super duper rich, but it, but it was also like, not like worth how rich it was. I was, I was eating it.

I was just like, this is an indulgent that indulgence that again, I just, uh, uh, if it, this is very, very simplistic, but if it tasted better, um, I'd be more into it. Maybe it needed more bacon and garlic. Um, the hot link I thought was pretty good. It was probably my favorite thing I got there. You know, I think they're, they're smaller form factor. They're personal pizzas.

That's the thing they have figured out. And I did like that spicy red sauce a lot. I like the jalapenos and banana peppers on there. So they mentioned on the show a number of times I am something of a heat seeker. And this one was decently spicy. I feel like if I'd gotten this as a lunch, I'd be like, this is, this by itself is perfectly fine. Everything else underperformed.

Mitch, what about your pizzas? Well, I just got the one pizza, Nick, um, which maybe I should have gotten, I should have gotten more of my issue. Look, I just, I don't know how to feel about this place. The place is, it's weird to me, Nick. I, like I said, I got, I got, I got the, I got the meat eater. Yes. And I added banana peppers and tomatoes to it.

And so you think you knew better. I thought, I thought, I thought it needed to something else. Cause it's got the onions on there, but I thought, I just, I just wanted to change it up a little bit. And you know what? I'm glad I did because the veggies to me actually did stand out here and they worked well. The, uh, the cherry tomatoes, I'm, I'm okay with cherry tomatoes.

A lot of people don't like them on pizza, but I liked it. And the, uh, the banana peppers, but to me, it's like that, the level of ingredients tastes like subway esque. That is damning. Yeah. I think it's maybe not great product. I'm with you. The, the, the meats in particular, the, the pepperoni and they,

they just break up these meatballs. They have these meatballs and you're like, Oh, those would be good. They were like sliced or something, but then they just break them up like into little, like you were talking about like how Chicago does pepperoni or whatever, or deep, like a lot of deep dish places do like the crumpled up pepperoni. They just crumple up these meatballs right on top of the pizza. Uh, and I'm like, why, why do that?

Don't you want to like a chunky meatball? The thing is, is that this thing's got so much, the slice has so much flop to it that it's not even going to be able to hold a half a meatball. You know what I mean? That's a great point. It's a very floppy slice. It's, it's, I'm just frustrated by this place. I don't even know what, I don't even know what to think of it.

It just doesn't even make the whole idea of it doesn't make sense. And we're going to get mad because people are going to be like, Oh, I love place pizza or whatever. And I don't think so. I don't think they're place fanatics. I think, I think this place has expanded because it's convenient and because it's customizable. And I think if you've got a family, every kid can get their own pizza,

which I think is huge. And I think if you've got an office, everybody can go in and get a lunch amount of food without being like, are we all splitting a pizza? Yes. Right. 100%. But I don't get the sense. And maybe I'm wrong.

Well, we'll certainly hear about it in our mentions. Um, but I, I don't, I don't get the sense that this is a place is beloved that has a bunch of super fans. Well, it shouldn't because also just the ordering system, the ordering system also doesn't, for a pizza place, it just doesn't make sense to me. Like it's like, yeah, I guess like you would, people just have their favorites when they go there or whatever.

But like, when you get a pizza, isn't it like getting a pizza, like a special thing on a Friday night or once a week or once a week is a lot. But like, you know, like for a lot of families once a month or whatever. And it's like that sort of thing. If you discuss of what toppings you're going to get, you discuss it. And it's just that, that, that line thing of being there, it just, it seems like too much pressure, Nick. I don't like the pressure of it.

I don't think the combos really work. The Greek salad to me was, it looked good. And then I got it. And it was like a lot of like the feta and stuff that I saw. It looked like a bright salad. All I got was like a lot of like wet lettuce. You know what I mean? Like, uh, yeah.

And I don't think their salads are good. Yeah. Honestly, the meats just taste a kind of poor quality, but the vegetables were okay. And there were moments of eating it where I was like, oh, this is having this fresh baked. It is decent. It's not terrible.

I don't like hate this pizza, but like this is what it's hyped. This is like a big, this is, this is it. This is like Eliza saying this is, this is what you came out with. This is, this is the next step. What is this? Hmm. It's nothing. It's like another mediocre pizza, fucking pizza chain.

And like the thing that makes it, the thing that even makes it worthwhile is the fact that like, if you're at universal city walk or you're at like a plaza, it's a place where you can have pizza for lunch if you want to. If you're looking at like an office building nearby, it's, it's, it's a, it's a pizza for lunch place. But I don't know. I don't fucking, I don't see why people want it.

I don't see why people want this in their lives. I just don't get it. Well, I mean, okay, to, to just to play devil's advocate, if you were, you could say a similar thing about Chipotle of just like there's so many better Mexican places than Chipotle, but the convenience and the customized ability of Chipotle is like what makes it someplace. Starbucks.

It's the same thing. It's like we're all taking orders for bleh. You know the options can put together. I think is the, that was probably the thinking behind it. Is it popular enough to have people know those options? But then the other thing too is that with Starbucks and Chipotle, like I was saying like with Chipotle, if you're getting like a chicken bowl with rice or whatever allies,

like you were saying that is like to me more of a dinner thing. And that's something that I can do a couple of times a week and be like, Oh, this isn't terrible for you. And I'm eating okay. Pizza is more special than this, I guess to me. I don't know. Yeah, it does feel like they're splitting the difference between the two different types of pizza place and making a nothing in

between. So it's not a trash. We just got a huge pie. It came fast. It came hot. You knew exactly what it was going to taste like kind of pizza place, but it's also not an artisanal. Here's a handcrafted crust with, with these interesting toppings.

It's somewhere in between those, which means it's like, like you want, you want to, you want to run full force at one of those types of pizza. You don't want some sort of a little bit of both thing because it's just, it's not doing what either of those do successfully. Yeah. Well, we should get to our final thoughts on blaze pizza. You verbalize that way, way better than I could have.

I mean, you're, you're, you're right. 100%. And so Liza, you've done the show before, but just a refresher will each sort of give our closing argument regarding this week's chain and conclude by giving it a fork score from zero to five. You are a guest. We'll begin with you. Um, I also, I forgot to say earlier, the keto gluten free

crust. Did I say this maybe was good? Oh, I did say it. Okay. Um, I would say this is not good food, but as someone with a lot of dietary restrictions, it got a lot closer than a lot of options. And I like that it's a place where you could do a bunch of different

people who go and get a bunch of different things. The execute, like, so the idea, great. The execution. No, I wish it was like an American candy bar, you know, like, or a little Debbie snack. Like you see a zebra cake. You're like, that's good. That should be delicious.

You taste it. It is not. If you made a little Debbie a zebra cake at home, it would be great. But the way they've done it, it's just not worth it. Um, but because of the options, I'm going to give it, I'm going to give it two forks, two forks. Fair enough. All right.

Spoon man, your, your thoughts, your fork score. Look, a lot of people think I'm a LeBron hater. Uh, and he, he bought into this company and look, he's had a rivalry with my Celtic. So I don't, I'm not, I don't love LeBron. Um, but guess what, Nick? Just like the Lakers this year with LeBron, Blaze Pizza ain't winning any championships, baby.

Boy. Did you write this down? Are you reading this? This is his closer for last comic standing. Oh wow. I'm addressing Wiger during it. I don't think you understand the show. I'll cross out Wiger for Howie Mandel or whoever the fuck is

going to host it. Um, yeah, I, I, I don't, I look, I'm not a huge LeBron fan. I'm a Celtics fan, but then also I think he bought into something that seemed like a hot property and I just don't see, I don't see, I don't think Blaze Pizza is going to last. I, I really, I don't, I just don't, I, I, I, maybe I just don't get it. Like when I was in there and I was ordering, there was a family

behind me and I like was nervous and didn't know what to, didn't know what to get. And it's like, you're supposed to do like, you can do the half pizza, which you talked about Eliza and then like a salad. That seems like more of like a lunch combo. And maybe that, and, and, and, and maybe they should push that more. I know that that is an option, right?

Like half a pizza and a salad lunch combo. That was another reason why I wanted to even do it. Cause I was like, I like, I like that. I like it not that, as I said, my problem with pizza is the onslaught of pizza. You can't like just a little right. And then it's something else and this allows for that in theory.

Yeah. And I, and I think you just nailed it perfectly with the, the thing of like, they created a nothing and trying to, and trying to, and trying to make something that like appeals to people who were the, the ease of Chipotle and also not the complete crap of like a little corner store pizza place that has shitty pizza. You're buying by a slice.

Yeah. You're, you're, they kind of just, they, they created kind of like a nothing. And for me at Chipotle, like I said, that works to me. I can get a Chipotle, I can get Chipotle for dinner once or twice a week if I have to. I don't. I'm just saying like, if I need to get a Chipotle bowl, I get

chicken and brown rice and some, and black beans and some salsa on there. And like, I feel okay about that. Blaze just kind of bums me out. The pizza's not good enough. I don't know. People are going to be mad at me because I feel like I don't get it, but it's, it's, it's, I'm going to go two forks too.

I don't, I don't care. Can I two forks? Can I interact with some thoughts on whether or not people are going to be mad at you? Yes. Because I have found the blaze pizza subreddit. Wow. And there are 71 members.

Wow. That's it. No one has posted the most recent post with seven months ago. Um, there, there, it's a lot of like coupon codes from seven months ago. And then after that, a post from eight months ago that just says blaze pizza is just okay.

Like no, I don't think there's going to be. And maybe you know what the blaze pizza stands are going to come for you because I don't think they exist. Maybe that, maybe that, and maybe that's enough. Maybe that's better than a, you know what, maybe that's better than Sparrow or something or like a, a place that's kind of shitty and you can't do the same thing. And maybe that's, maybe it just being okay is fine.

And that's, in my head, I felt like this place was supposed to be like a good new pizza place. And I think it's just kind of like whatever. Well, I will say that I think maybe a lot of people feel pretty neutral about this, but I think that's part of its success, that it is just so down the middle and acceptable. There's, it's just like, I, like, like, I guess the question is, does it clear a baseline of acceptability for a personal

pizza? For me, it does, but I'm also including my experiences dining in when you get it fresh and then you just eat in the restaurant, which it is like, hey, you get a fresh pizza right out of the oven that's just been baked. That'll, yeah, you know, that'll usually even a mediocre one will be, will be a decent experience. Yeah.

Taking it home. Yeah. It starts to get, it starts to sog a little bit. But I will say this is, it's literally the fastest growing chain restaurant in history. Like it is, like it exploded over the course of the 2010s. We'll see if that really well. You are welcome.

Fascinating. We'll see if that trajectory continues into the 2020s, or if you know, just everything that's, that's changed about the, the restaurant industry and industry in general, because of the plague, if that's going to affect it or maybe just the bubble burst and it was going to anyway. I don't know what's going to happen, but it has been a huge success, whether people feel passionately about it or not.

Maybe because they don't feel passionately about it. LeBron should fucking dunk this chain in the trash. Get rid of it. Wow. Wow. I think we should pitch that to the room and see if anybody can beat it. Dunk it in the trash.

No, I really feel like we can beat it. Dunk it in the, dunk it in the ocean. Okay. Yeah. No. We're still just, maybe we should take a break. We're, they're dunking in the, uh, Dunking things is like good, right?

Yeah. Yeah. That's why you should dunk it in the trash. I think I get what you're saying. My only modification would be sadly slide it into the trash because I feel like that's the vibe of the pizza. Yeah. That's fair.

It doesn't even deserve the effort of a dunk. No. It's just like, oh, you know what? I'm done. I'm not going to finish it. Does anybody want it? No. Okay.

That's, that's a slunk. I mean, it is like a not, it is a pizza I was not excited to finish. And so I think I will, I think I'm going to go just slightly above the consensus because I think it's, it's maybe a just a, it's, it's not executable. It's okay.

I think it's perfectly acceptable. And I think it has its place in the chain restaurant world. So I'm going to say this is a two and a half fork chain for me. But you know, nothing, nothing mind blowing, not a place I'd go out of my way to go to. It's just like, if this was the place that people were going, I wouldn't like throw a fit. And I think that that's where blaze pizza is for me.

Can I be honest with you? Yeah. In my head, I was the entire time it was two and a half forks, but I hurt a lot as two and I went with two. See, I feel like, yeah, I feel like I, last time I went way lower, I was considering one and a half, but Wow.

Wow. It just is, it's perfect. It is good. The pizza I ate in my mouth was not. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's just the execution and you know, it's that I guess that's the other thing when you're,

when you're scaling up so rapidly, you know, you have to make sure that that's, that it can be replicated, your product can be replicated in all these new locations you're opening. But hey, that was our review of blaze pizza. It's time for a segment. Here, an organic Doe Boys convention has finally been formalized as part of the show.

We are going to name our four essentials in a given category. It's the debut of our new segment, Mount Gushmore. What? And Mitch, Mount Gushmore. This is what we're gushing about. This is, this is, this is, that's the segment. What could gushing do you mean?

Like gushing, like polycomotionally, like I'm going to, like, like, ah, these four things are so good. I'm discussion about them. So not like vaginally. No, I wasn't thinking of any sort of discharge. That's emotional also. This is the Mount Gushmore WAP special.

Wager and I would be on Mount Drymore. And hey, with Earth to Ned about to debut on Disney Plus, or actually already being out now on Disney Plus, the category for Mount Gushmore is Space Aliens, your Mount Rushmore of Space Aliens. Wow. Mitch, I know you, we've already talked about some Space Aliens over the course of this episode.

Will any of them ascend to being on our Mount Rushmores? We'll find out. Great question. Eliza? Mm-hmm. Your guest will begin with you unless you would like to defer. Your first choice. Now, this, these are, these are the,

the culturally most important aliens, right? Not just like my favorite. I always think of it as a personal thing. I think of it as, we usually on the show it's our favorites, but you can view it through whatever prison you like. Okay. And I think this still fits for both. I'm going to pick the Xenomorph from Alien.

Wow. Great pick. Very powerful alien. Difficult to defeat in combat. Now, can we not repeat picks, wigs? Yeah, I think. Yeah, there's no Teddy Roosevelt, there's no two Roosevelt's on the Mount Rushmore.

No. We're each building our own. We're each building our own Mount Rushmore, so I'm saying. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Never mind then. Sorry. There should be two Teddy Roosevelt's. He would have, there shouldn't even be one.

I, that's a great choice. I mean, Xenomorph might come up on my, I mean, it's one of the greatest aliens of all time. How can you, how can you top it? The movie is called Alien. You can have a more efficient reproduction cycle. I will say that is, that's where they falter. It's like, this, this is too complicated.

What are you doing? You're planting an egg, you're bursting out of a chest, and then you're, then you're making a pod to make another egg planter. Yeah, they could have been more, they definitely could have been more efficient, but that's why we love them. It's true.

It is why we love them. Yeah. Nick, is it my turn or your turn? It's your turn. I'm going to go with one of the biggest aliens of all time. Now, does he mean biggest in size? Or does he mean biggest in terms of importance? We're going to, we're about to find out.

Wow. Maybe both. With my pick, Yoda, I choose. Oh, wow. That's a big one. Another powerful alien. This guy? Wow, there he is.

Wow, Eliza's folding up. He was right on your table, you didn't pick him. No, he's a magic eight ball too. Wow. Very cool. Does it say Yoda like phrasings? Yeah. Oh, you know.

Nick, you froze. Nick froze. Hello, hello. Am I here? Hello, hello. I think you're asking me, okay, you're back. You're back. But I think you asked a good question while you were gone.

Yes. Does he have, are the answers in Yoda like phrasings? And yes, they are. That's correct. Wow. Yeah, they are. Let's see. Certain I cannot be.

It cannot be. No. Impatient. Are you? No. You know, stuff like that. Right. That's good.

Yeah, that's really good. It was my sister. She got it for Christmas and I was like, yank, you're a teenager. You don't need this. I'm a little kid. It's important to me. Again.

I was guesting on dope. Yeah. I said, again, shake, which is like a very, that's like when they, when one of the sides of the, the dies, they, they had no other answer. So they said, shake it again. Um, was guesting on dope boys a good use of Eliza's time? No signs point to certain I cannot be.

Yoda. Are you, are you a baby Yoda fan? Are you only like the, the grownup kind? I'm not gonna put baby Yoda. I adore baby Yoda. I think baby Yoda is so cute. So precious. What a great character design.

Natalie and I were watching the Mandalorian and every time baby Yoda came on screen, we lit up. Look at that guy. He's the best. Precious. I believe in freedom of choice and I would have chose to fucking abort that little baby Yoda. What? Why?

Jesus Christ. So you like Yoda's, but not baby Yoda's. I just wanted to say something that would make me a big villain and I did it. Okay. I've been doing it throughout this episode. Well, I was trying to set us all up for Hey Weigur. Did you tell Mitch that Gina Carano from the Mandalorian is on Earth to Ned? It's true.

I don't want to abort Yoda. I was kidding everyone. It's a comedy podcast. What if Yoda heard you? What if Yoda heard you? Think about his feelings. I'm sorry, Yoda. Friends with you before, but then he heard that.

Look, baby, I think Yoda represents the Star Wars as for aliens. I think he represents the world the best Chewbacca. I love Chewbacca, but very cool. He doesn't, but the Yoda is just such an alien. You know what I mean? Yeah. I get what you mean. Great character design.

He's got the aliens. 100%. You both picked very powerful aliens. Different kinds of powerful aliens. Xenomorph or a Morseless Killing Machine. Yoda, of course, has the Force Powers. I'm going to pick a powerful alien of my own. I'm referring to Cal-L, a.k.a. Superman.

Oh, yeah. That's one of those like you forget he's an alien alien. Yeah, but he is. It's his whole thing. Yeah, absolutely. It counts. It doesn't kind of count. It counts.

Yeah. He came here in a spaceship. I mean, what else do you need? Yeah. I'm sure. Is it because he's humanoid? I can see how like it kind of counts a little bit. Yeah.

No, it's a, yeah. No, it kind of counts a little bit. All right, Eliza, you're up. Your second pick. My second point's pick's going to have to be E.T. Wow. Great choice. Does the movie hold up?

Also, why goers wrong? We should go in a snake draft style. But all right, Eliza, whatever. That would only benefit you though. Yeah. Yeah, I know. So, but E.T. was very important to me as a kid. I was a member of the E.T. fan club.

I had a card in my wallet that was an E.T. backstage pass that came with my membership. I had to take an E.T. pledge. Wow. It hit gross white dog poop. E.T. is still one of the most upsetting movie images. Yeah, it looks awful. So yeah, E.T.

Yeah, it looks like shit. It really looks like shit. Yeah, it looks like when dog poop dries, the dog poop dries out. Wow. All right, Mitchell, your second pick. I'm not going to repeat picks because honestly, the Xenomorph and...

You better scoop me then, because it's just going to keep happening. Yep. Xenomorph and E.T. would definitely make my list. But my second pick is a classic gray. Wow. That was going to be mine. You picked communion alien?

I picked the classic gray. Jesus. Classic gray alien. You can see him in a lot of different things. Yeah, it's a great, it's a great alien. Yeah. The probing alien. There's a probing.

There's a communion. Walk-in gets probed. There's a probing scene. Yeah. Were those the aliens also in... Yeah. Yeah, close encounters. Close encounters.

They're close enough. They fit under the umbrella. There's like one total one, right? That one you had to bend to get down. You know, I was... It was tough because I was... I shouldn't say what the other one was, so I won't. In case it doesn't come up.

Gray is a good choice. Sorry. There you go. How about as your plus one? Okay. Gray is a great choice. I am going to go pivot from the Star Wars universe that was mentioned to the Star Trek universe.

And the top Cleon wharf. Clingon? Yeah. What did you call it? It sounded like you said Clingon. Clingon. Clingon. I mean, that's the universe that...

Talk about a cue that I can get behind. Right? Cue is very cool. Cue is very powerful. Real trickster. So why wharf of all the Star Trek alien options? He's cool. I like the...

I like Spock. I like that he's logical. I could probably have a better con... I'd probably engage in conversation more easily with Spock, but I like that wharf is strong. And that's a big part of it for me. I think it'd be cool to hang out with him because he's powerful. I feel like the only notable thing about... That I remember about wharf was that he went into heat.

Yes. Yeah, that's a... Clingon going into heat stuff. Yeah, that'll happen. Yeah, the occasional... They have like a puberty phase that they revisit in adulthood. Yeah. I like it.

It's part of what makes him cool. All right. That's my second pick. Eliza, your third head on Mount Space... I guess Mount Alienmore, we're calling it. Yeah. Well, as a hilarious TV entertainment business person, I'm going to have to pick Alph. Oh, Alph is great.

My boy from Mount Mac. Fuck Alph. Look, I don't like the eating cats either. I think we're both going to agree on that. Fuck you. But he was able to control himself. And besides that, he's got wise cracks. He likes Hawaiian shirts.

How's he going to surf? What's that about? Oh. Hey, LeBron James should dunk that pizza into the trash. Oh, boy. See, if he said it, that would work. You'd love that. He'd be like, ah, man, he's making life hard for this family.

He's a little alien, little alien Harry and the Henderson's. I believe he was of the same era. He's a piece of shit, Alph is. Wow. Wow. What happened to you? He's a fucking, he eats cats. What did he do?

I'm a cat fan. Oh, yeah. That's a thing. Yeah. I'm a cat fan too. I'm not. I'm not. Just because someone has a proclivity, if they can control it, he can't help that

that's what he wants. But he doesn't indulge and that's got to be hard for him. I respect it. If Alph comes near my cat, Wally and Irma, I'm fucking knocking teeth out of it. Snow fucking piece of shit. You punch Alph. I'd punch Alph right in the snow. Wow.

Even if he was like sick. Yeah. Especially for Wally and Irma because he had been injured. And he was like, if he was like the ET who was in the ditch when he was all white, but Alph, you'd still be like, fuck you. Yeah, fucking. He looks. Yeah.

Well, I wouldn't want to punch him because he'd look gross like that white turd, but piece of shit. You're ice cold. He's a cat murderer. He's a cat murderer. Yeah. He does. It's his people.

They are. It's their, their culture and their bodies. They can't help that that's what they digest. It's true. I would never let him eat my cat. Would I turn a blind eye and see and let him roam the neighborhoods at night? Yeah, I would. Cause life is difficult.

Not me. That's fucked. That's, that's nature. You know? The, sometimes the alligators pull the, the baby gazelle into the swamp. And that's just the way things are. Not in my world. In your world, your cat wears a chain mail bikini.

And hangs out with you. I'm going to go with a, with something even more fucked up than elf. Wow. For my, my choice. I'm going with the thing. Wow. The thing. Very scary.

Very powerful. Man. That's another, that I have the same reaction to that as they do to Superman where like, I wouldn't have thought alien. I would have thought monster, the Superman. I wouldn't have thought alien. I wouldn't have thought superhero. But you guys, you're expanding my, my horizons.

How, now here's the question. Yes. How the hell do you put the thing on fucking Mount Rushmore? Is it its final form or he's like the fucking, like when he has a lot of heads and shit and at the end of the movie? Yeah. Or like a dog head with like some weird lobby stuff around it. Yeah.

Just put brimley up there. Everyone loves brimley. Yeah. All right. I agree. Brimley goes on my Mount Rushmore. It was just like the, the insect head hanging out. Brimley, brimley is the thing.

The brimley for spoiler, spoiler. Okay. Brimley is, he is the thing at one point, but I, but I think that final head. I'm not sure if that is, I'm not sure if it is brimley or not. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah. I don't know. Yes.

Yes. Oh no, that, oh, the little, when it's, when it's the spider head, no, that's another guy. That's the guy who has the heart attack and he, uh, and they, and they go to, to revive them and then his chest breaks open and then he bites the other guy's arms off. It's that scene is so, is so fucked up. It's awesome. That's the thing for, that's the thing.

Uh, for me, I feel like that movie is like a collection of scenes, not in a bad way, but I don't remember an overall plot. I just remember different moments of very cool or very tense. Yeah. Um, that's that scene where they're testing blood is like one of the most tense scenes in any sci-fi horror movie. It's great. Yeah.

It's a great choice from the spoon man. The thing. Thank you. Third alien. Third alien. I was trying to say. And hey, my third alien, one of the duo of Kang and Kodos. Wow.

From the Simpsons. Oh. I am choosing Kodos. Wow. Because, uh, he's voiced by Dan Castellaneta as opposed to Harry Shearer voiced by, voiced by Kang. So I'm going with Kodos. Kodos is on my Mount, Mount alien more.

How to cook for 40 humans. Great bit. Great season two bit. Great presence in the Treehouse of Horror episodes. Yeah. Every time they show up, that's a lot of fun. No complaints. All right, Eliza, your final pick.

This is really tough. This is really tough. Okay. Can I, can I give some options and then pick? Or should I just pick? Sure. Yeah. Great condition.

Even though we will say at the end, choose your favorite. Well, Mitch will say that. So some of the contenders is thinking the Piggies from Ender's Game. Well, it's actually from like the third or fourth book in that series. Very nerdy. The aliens from Cocoon. Mmm. Those are good.

Right. The aliens from Batteries Not Included. Wow. Oh boy. Yeah. They were cute. I'm going to go with the Sandworm from Dune. Wow.

Damn. That's Sandworm. That's good. Thing will fuck you up. Yeah. It really will. But like if you're the Maudib, you will turn into one. So it's also an ascendant level that you could become through your spice use.

Wow. I never seen the movie. That's a great choice. I read the book, but I never saw the Lynch movie. It's okay. It's weird. Yeah. I bought it and I haven't watched it.

He, I believe, took his name. I think it's one of those movies that's attributed, or at least part of it is attributed to Alan Smithy, which is the name that directors and writers will use instead of their own when they don't like how something came out. Which by the way, Doe Boyz is now Doe Boyz with Alan Smithy and Alan Smithy. Yeah. So that's Sandworm from Dune. Yeah.

Excellent choice. All right, Mitch. Your final pick for Mount Alienmore. My final pick. Do I choose the Mars attack aliens or predator alien? I couldn't really do it by chance. Right? Yeah.

It's hard. There's a video on YouTube of the guy doing the voice. It's like more male. You got to like roll your, it's a very like flaming thing. I thought it was more like a ticking, like alien kind of thing. It's like a. This is great radio. Yeah.

Or do I go with the alien that created them all and especially created the xenomorph and maybe even created all of us. I'm talking to engineer. Wow. Prometheus. No. No. Prometheus.

No. Prometheus. No. Prometheus. No. No. Prometheus is. No.

Prometheus is the most, maybe the most. Dumb. Stupid. Prometheus. Disappointing. Prometheus is maybe the most underrated film of the 2010s. Wow. The number one most.

Bold take. Elijah's leaving. Prometheus is so great. Prometheus is my declorians. Prometheus sucks. Hot take for Mitch. Prometheus is great. I beg anyone to find a better speaking of baby Yoda abortions.

I find, I challenge anyone to find a better sci-fi scene than the scene where. Repace. What's her name? Is it new me? Repace? Yeah. I don't know how to say it. I probably am not pronouncing her name correctly.

But where she gets the alien abortion. You can't find a better sci-fi scene than that. You have like an abortion alien thing happening. No. No. I do not. I do not have. It seems like you have kind of an alien abortion thing.

Find me a better. And look. I don't have an abortion. I don't know anyone else as a connoisseur of them as you are. The engineer is Jesus like. I'm a Catholic boy. Yes. My mind went to the Navi.

I love the Navi. And Nick is probably going to choose it now. I just put it in this ad. But the engineer rules. The engineer is cool looking. That scene. You're going to lead a lonely life, Mitch. You can't find, you can't find a better.

You can't, you can't find a better sci-fi scene in the last 20 years than that scene where she gets the alien abortion. You can't. You can't do it. No one can do it. Okay. Wait a minute. I know Weigar has not even made his choice yet, but have you, did you say a sci-fi scene

or sci-fi alien? You know what? Either way. Sci-fi scene. Did you see District 9? Yes. And do you think that that's better than all of District 9? I think the scene where she gets the alien taken out of her stomach is one of the best

sci-fi scenes in the, in the turn, since the turn of the century. Just a scorching hot take from Mitch. Watch it. Watch it. The nice sex scene? Like it's not, it's so upsetting. Watch the scene. I, not you.

I'm saying listeners. You guys don't have to. I'm just going to wait and say like you don't have to. Just cause Mitch is saying it doesn't mean you have to track it down. Hey, my final pick. Sorry, Mitch. No. It's good.

It's good. Weigar, you like Prometheus too and you're just being silent. I've never seen it. My final pick is, my final pick is we haven't done anything for video games yet and I'm going to a game franchise. Wow. I'm referring to Metroid and picking another galactic bounty hunter along the lines of Boba Fett, Samus, Samus for Metroid.

Josh Gad's love, Kuber. Is Kuber an alien? I think so. Yeah. It seemed like he was in space jumping around on those cubes. Yeah, I guess that is like it. So maybe not. Samus doesn't count.

Samus counts. No. Samus counts. I don't know him. Why do you think he counts? Why do you think he doesn't count? Samus is a she. You say it's a she.

She. But it is in the first game, it is teased as we don't know what's underneath that armor and then if you get the true ending, it's like, oh, Samus was a she. All along. And let me tell you. And that's, and that's, that's when Weigar jacked it. Yeah, right. He was jacking at the whole time.

He doesn't love a mystery. Come on. That was Mount Gushmore. Let us know who's Mount Gushmore. You thought. Whoa. Raised Supreme. Hold on a second.

I'm just, I'm looking at the Samus reveal right now and I didn't realize, I did not realize that it was. Did she take her boobs out? She is. It's kind of. Wow. Yeah. She's revealing in an 8-bit sense.

Yeah. No, you get to see her in a bikini, especially for strapless bikini. Yeah. Especially for back then in the in the eight bit days. Damn. Yeah. They like to shut up things left on the table, like Marvin the Martian and those Muppets that go.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. I wish, I wish we had room for them all. We didn't hit the men in black universe, the coffee aliens and so on. But there's, there's an abundance of options. There's so many possible aliens in the world of sci-fi and someone speculate reality, but those are the ones we chose.

Let us know. If you think my team was best hashtag Mitch's mutants, oh well. If you think my team was the best, um, pursue some kind of interest or hobby that would better your life. Oh, wait. Hashtag Mitch's Martians. How the hell did I get that wrong? Like they're in French or something.

Spanish if you don't know it. That's handy. Um, yeah. Just use Mitch's, Mitch's Martians because he's going to be mad if he doesn't win. I don't worry about the other hashtags. That was Mount Gushmore. Just like a restaurant via your feedback. I'm going to be really mad in a week when I don't win.

Shut the fuck up. Oh, he's mad already. Oh no. Mad at Weiger. Hey, maybe this will cheer you up. Just like a restaurant we value your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. And Mitch, we have a voicemail today.

Let's go ahead and listen to this one. Oh no. One second here. Okay. Hi. Mitch. You're my celebrity crush. Here's my question.

What food would you rather eat for the rest of your life every day rather than have to give it up completely? So basically what food would you, you know, rather never sacrifice in order to have to eat every day? Honestly, as embarrassing as it is for me, it's probably pizza. Okay. I'm Hollis from Nashville. And that's my answer.

Love you guys. Bye. Wow. Big confession up top and an interesting question. What food would you agree to eat every day if the alternative meant you could never have it again? Kind of seemed like a high question. Celebrity.

The way it was crafted. I don't know that it is an interesting question. It's just, it's just what would you eat every day? Right? So. Leave the future Mrs. Mitchell alone. I was about to say she knew she was giving you the answer, the right answer. Yeah.

I think, I think she's really what she's doing. This is a, this is a den I know you. Haven't we met before? This is a, you don't need to answer this. This is just so we can start talking. I mean, I'm sorry. Answer it, but like call the girl back. Well, I didn't even catch her name sadly when the, when the voicemail was played.

Oh no. And there's no way to play it again. Oh my God. I guess this is a lost love. Goodbye, my sweet. Um, so explain this to me. I was also celebrities just far off. Uh-uh.

Chubby podcaster. No way, man. You're, I've been on a quote unquote red carpet or stepping repeats with you. And you are the show. People want to see that. If you remember correctly that night when we were at the red carpet, which was at San Diego Comic Con. I bought a new outfit because I had nothing that looks good enough for a red

carpet. And if you also remember, I kept my shirt open because I was sweating through the armpits and I needed to not have armpits by the time we got to the red carpet. None of that has anything to do with whether or not other people would view you in the realm of celebrity. Yeah. That's just like you not living up to, you know,

some basic human expectations. And inside the party, there were all kinds of people who were like, ooh, ooh, it's Mitch. It's Mitch from Doe Boys. Ooh, Mitch. Ooh, ooh. I know. Cause I just like kind of stood behind you, like picking up the,

the snacks other people dropped. I'm pretty sure that was you who was doing that. No, it wasn't. It fully wasn't. Um, people love you. Yeah. The question, the question is, can you, the question is that you have to give up either you have the food every day

or give it up. Yeah. Imagine this choice. Yes. Yes. So what is it? What is a food when presented with that option? I will take this away from you forever or you must have this every day

for the rest of your life. What is a food you would say? Like I'll take, I'll eat it instead. I mean, like the option I'll choose. Just, just shitting on, on pizza for lunch. I will look like a huge hypocrite to say pizza, but I couldn't have pizza taken away from me. You also said that that's your favorite food.

I don't think it's hypocritical at all. It is, it is, it is my favorite food. It is a food that I rarely ever have for lunch or even want to have for lunch. It's a dinner food for me. Well, you could have it for dinner every day. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. All right.

I mean, like besides, I'm only eating at lunch. If it's at a sketch cram wager, a sketch cram run by you, the old UCB show. Oh boy. Where basically you'd pay in Domino's, you get paid in Domino's pizza. Pizza is not a currency. But um, That's the closest you ever got paid from any UCB show though. Maybe the only compensation you ever received from that theater.

I think, I think there would be a couple of things where if they, where I could never have them, I think, I think I would say, I think there's a lot of things that I would say I would do it every day instead of losing it. See, I would take it more basic. I would say eggs. I was going to say eggs. That's also my answer. I think that it's just like, it's almost like you could never have eggs again,

or you must have them every day. But I'll just have eggs every day. I'll figure that out. No problem. Cramble them, fry them, soft-boil them. That's good. As Mitch Wood in his little short suit. But if you were going to say,

If someone said cheeseburger to you, you'd never have a cheeseburger again? I think I could not, I could not have a cheeseburger. That's insane. I don't think I could have a cheeseburger every day. I think that would get tiring. But I think you know what I, But are we saying all foods are, you either eat them every day,

or you never ever get to have them again? I think it's one specific one where when presented with this choice, you would choose in the affirmative. Like what's a specific food where, hey, I know that I would prefer to have this every day versus never having it again. And I think it would be an easy choice. Like choosing to have a cheeseburger every day, that's a tough choice.

You'd be like, God, I mean, I guess if I can ever. But with eggs, no sweat. Yeah, sure. I can have an egg every day. Oh, cheeseburgers ever again though? Damn, don't clean the ocean for crying out loud. Well, I mean, that's, well, there you go. That's your priority and why we're all fascinating individuals.

And what if someone said, what if someone said hot dog to you? How would you, how would you feel about hot dog? Just like walked by me and was like, hot dog. I would want to know more. I'd be like, they're fun. What's happening? I'd be like, cheat finger. When Weigar said that he got the white top,

I was trying to, I was trying to build a parody to sharp dressed man where it was like white top, bad crust. And I spent a lot of time on it and I got nowhere. But I just wanted to tell you. You wanted to pitch it in case any of you either of us wanted to run with it. Uh-huh. You spent a lot of time on it and that's what you ended up with. Yes.

That's what you're doing for the bulk of the episode. I was Googling rhymes with crust. Rust. Rust. Must. And trust. Rust. Rated.

Okay. Sorry. You got the king of musical improv here. I failed. The queen of musical improv here. That's why I brought up. I failed. I'm sorry.

No, don't be sorry. My answer for, yeah, don't apologize to him. My answer for, if something, other than eggs, something that's not like just like a, like a, like, okay, this is, if someone was to say that's a cop out, then my answer would be tacos. My own piss. I think if I was going to say you never have tacos again or you must have tacos every day, I think it would say tacos, not my own piss, Mitch.

No, that's once a week. Once a week. Yeah. No, same thing for me. Tacos. I mean, you can get, it's universal. You got your breakfast tacos. You got your lunch tacos.

You got your dinner tacos. You could, you can get a taco taco too. Let's do. And hey, if we start. Wow. Would that count? Would that, that would. It's called a taco.

Would the creators be pissed at that? Would the engineers be pissed off? Oh God. You're bringing it back to fucking Prometheus. No. God damn it. No. I don't care what they think.

I want to make them mad. They ruined my movie franchise that I liked. You know, it's a completely separate thing. You don't have to worry about the alien part of it. Look, here's the other thing. Oh my God. When it comes to, like burritos, you know, that's, that's a lot, but that's a lot to eat every day.

A burrito, but call me the burrito boy, because if you're saying I'm taking off the table or you're going to eat it every day, I'm going to eat a burrito every day. I'm the burrito boy. How can you lose a burrito? What if it was so, so a weird little demon appears in your house, like one of those ones that are jumping and it's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. This already is honestly too much for me. I'm very scared.

Very, very scared of the devil. This little, this little demon is like, ah, choice is before you. Let's choose one food to be eaten every day. Or else it is taken away. Is it burritos or is it pizza? See, now this is harder. If forever, I mean, I would probably choose pizza because I don't want to lose pizza. Goodbye, burritos.

That's sad. I would be fucking heartbroken. And would that mean that you can't roll the pizza up? That's a great point. It's crossing a line into burrito. Good question. Maybe I could roll the burrito up, put some beef in there. It's a pizza roll.

That's fucked up. The little demon in your house turns out it's koalic. I don't get it. Now that is my salacious. He's the salacious to my jabba. Matt Koalic are Mitch's former roommate, former birthday boys member, and a frequent antagonist of this podcast. No.

For no clear reason. God. No, that's a good reason. Anyway, if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dowboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot. That's 830-463-6844. And to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode, join the Golden or Platinum Plate Club at patreon.com slash Doughboys.

Eliza Skinner, thank you so much for joining us. I'll shout out the one thing we both worked on, Earth to Ned. 10 episodes are now streaming on Disney Plus. It's a fun little alien talk show with some really cool puppets. And neither of you chose Ned as you're on your Mount Rushmore. What the hell? I don't know. I felt pandery.

That felt like it would have been cheating. I mean, honestly, I would have picked the Clods. Wow. The Clods are great. A lot of fun. Everybody loves the Clods. This podcast is all about pandering. Speaking of which, I love you listeners.

Keep listening out there. Eliza, your new album also Regarding My Lovers is out. Tell us about that and anything else you'd like to plug. Yeah. It's 10 tracks of stand-up comedy recorded live in Vermont a couple of years ago. Finally released now. And then it's also five original songs that I wrote and recorded with some cool musician friends of mine.

And yeah, it's a mixed bag of all the stuff. And I would say that if Weigher and I had an album called Regarding My Lovers, it would be a pretty quick listen. One track, 10 seconds long. Mumbling a couple of girls' names. That's a lot of apologizing. Yeah. I mean, I knew I was doing, I was going to put on a lot of material about dating.

And so I was like, lean into it. It's about Regarding My Lovers. And I heard from a few ex-boyfriends already who were like, which ones? And one that I was like, oh, no, I dated you after I recorded this. And he was like, man, well, next time you got to put a joke about me. I'm like, all right, sure. Regarding My Lovers too. One of the funniest people around.

Thank you so much for joining us. Check out her album. And hey, Mitch, that'll be it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating. Enjoy Prometheus. Oh, Jesus.

On the next Doe Boys Double, it's another edition of Me Talking Talica to You. Me equals Weigher. You equals Mitch. Mitch and I listened through Metallica's recently released S&M 2, their live performance with the San Francisco Symphony, and talked through some notable tracks. Plus, we finally settled that whole Lars Napster debacle. Get the Doe Boys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com. Want to see the sources for this week's intro?

Check the episode description.