Doughboys - Boston Market 2 with Dewayne Perkins

Episode Date: November 12, 2020

Dewayne Perkins (The Break with Michelle Wolf, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Amber Ruffin Show) joins the 'boys to talk Chicago, Thanksgiving, theme park eats and Boston Market. Plus, the debut of A Single Item Must Be Banished.Sources for this week's intro:https://www.qsrmagazine.com/finance/boston-market-acquired-rohan-group-companieshttps://www.nrn.com/quick-service/boston-market-acquired-engage-brands-rohan-group-companieshttps://www.delimarketnews.com/whats-store/boston-market-partners-engage-brands-support-next-chapter-growth-eric-wyatt-jignesh-pandya/chandler-james/thu-04302020-0901/9655https://www.marketwatch.com/story/mcdonalds-sells-boston-market-restaurant-chainhttps://suncappart.com/portfolioWant more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Unless you're a business reporter in the food service industry, there's little chance you've heard of Engage Brands LLC, or its parent company, The Rohan Group. But this sort of Russian nesting doll of corporate stewardship, with names that evoke the villainous corporations from a zombie video game, is the norm in the chain restaurant sector, as it has become in the economy at large. The Rohan Group of Companies, founded and controlled by Philadelphia businessman and real estate mogul Jignesh Pandya, has a steak and pizza hut and checkers rallies, and in 2007, it acquired a quick service family style diner chain from private equity group Sun

Capital Partners, which itself owns Throwback Burger Diner Johnny Rockets and regional seafood chain Captain D's, in addition to steaks in oil exploration and orthodontics practices. And Sun Capital had first acquired this commodity from its previous corporate owner, McDonald's, which originally planned to cannibalize its real estate holdings, but instead flipped it for a profit. The game of hot potato with this potato purveyor goes back to the chain's founding in 1985 by Stephen Colo and Arthur Kors in Newton, Massachusetts, who named it for the nearby New England Metropolis plus the rotisserie chicken that was its flagship product.

After a decade of operation and regional expansion, chicken was subbed for a more general catch-all term to encompass its non-poultry offerings and the chain went national. Today with over 450 restaurants and a line of licensed frozen meals available in grocery stores, the New England concept continues to offer family style fare as part of the sprawling but opaque family, known collectively as the Rohan Group. This week on Doughboys, we return to Boston Market. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Rage Against the Vending Machine, frontman Zach

Dela Almondroka, the night spoon Mike Mitchell. I'm itch. You're a man who, you say inga pachka, that's like your catchphrase. And then that is the roast that you choose. Gilding the lily, perhaps. A hat on a hat, as you've said to me just recently. But they are different beats in the same pattern. So I think I'll give them that one.

That's Andrew up in Portland, roastspoonman at gmail.com. By the way, someone signed the roastspoonman gmail up for judicial watch, the right wing advocacy org that advances the Seth Rich conspiracy. That's not what the gmail is for. So please, don't sign us up for any sort of, you know, we got pranksters out there. We got merry little pranksters out there, doing their little japes, knock it off. I think you did the equivalent of a drunk dial. You got, you got drunk and you emailed up that, you emailed them up and now you're on

that. I signed up. You signed up yourself. I would never. They do that to me too. I get emails from everywhere on the, what's the email again? Your own email? SpoonmanDrops, SpoonmanDrops at gmail.com.

That's right. SpoonmanDrops at gmail.com. But you know what? I've given over the duty of that email to the drop king. Wow. He was really asking for the keys to this thing. Our associate producer, Robert Persinger, aka the drop king, who came onto the scene via making drops of his own.

Drop king state. How about that? Drop king's taken over. And you know what? Let's take it for a ride with the drop king at the wheel to Spoon Nation. And here is a little drop wigs. You just hit yourself with the mic. I hit my tooth on the microphone.

My last good tooth. Ow. Fuck. What did you do? I just hit my tooth on the fucking microphone. Oh boy. Ow. I hit my teeth on the microphone.

I hit my teeth on the microphone. I hit my teeth on the microphone. I hit my teeth on the microphone. Ow. I just, I hit my tooth against the mic. Mistake it for a drumstick. This has happened before, Mitch. You mistake the mic for a big lollipop.

Be honest, Mitch. You, you faded out for a second and thought it was an ice cream cone. Yes. My favorite gray ice cream. They're probably going to boil this thing afterwards. What the fuck's on your tooth? Well, dear dough boys, here's my first drop and your last. I hope all of your teeth are healthy and that you are all brushing and flossing every day.

Burger brigade for life. That makes sense. Evan. Wow. From Pittsfield Mass. Wow. Who is burger brigade? That's fucked up.

It happens. It's disgusting. That's disgusting, Wigs, and it's not McWorld. It doesn't just happen. Interesting. So many, that happens so often at our live shows. I know. That is embarrassing that we, that we constantly, I'm constantly hitting my teeth against the

mic. Yeah. I don't know what it is exactly. There's Getty up on stage, also interesting, odd for us during a live show, but some laughter from the audience. Yeah. How about that? I think that was maybe, I think, Evan or whatever his name is, filled that in for us, was being

nice. He pulled that from some, yeah. He pulled some candle after them from the Big Bang Theory, threw it into the drop. I could hear the crowd shouting Pazinga. Mitch, we should introduce our guest. I'm very, very excited to have him. An actor, writer and comedian from the break with Michelle Wolf, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and the Amber Ruffin Show, new episodes premiere Fridays on Peacock.

Duane Perkins. Hi, Duane. Hello. Hey, what are you doing? How are you doing? Thank you for being here. Yeah. Thanks for having me.

A delight. Duane, I have to start here. As you know, as we all know, we are currently all locked down in this weird quarantine environment. How has COVID impacted your eating habits? Good and bad. It goes through waves. There are waves where it's truly terrible, then I feel bad about myself, and then I do

better, and then that doing better usually stops at about a week or two when I realize that the world's not getting better, so why do I got to eat better? She's like, up and down constantly. That's a great call. Yeah. I've had the thing I've done. This has been going on for long enough where I've done the thing where I've had two separate 30-day abstinence periods from alcohol, where I'm just like, I'm going to be sober for 30

days, and then I fall off the wagon hard, and then I went back to it and went sober again for another 30 days, and then it's just like, and I have the same mentality as you of just like, what am I doing here? What am I trying to pretend that I should do anything but just fucking live it up? Because what else am I going to do? I don't drink very much, just because it's not a thing that I do very often, but during quarantine, my tolerance for weed just got very, very high, so I was like, oh, I should take a break from that, and then when I took a break from weed, I immediately started drinking,

and I was like, oh, no, I can't exist without a vice. Well, my vice is the worst. My vice is Food Wags, and last night, Daniel gave me a ride home from Logan Airport, and I was like, can we stop and get some food or whatever? And he's like, what do you want to do? Like McDonald's or Wendy's, and we ended up getting a place that we're actually going to do on the pod, so I won't say where it was. Wow.

And then he said to me, do you want to eat it in my car? And I said, no, my mom's not home, and he nodded, and then we both laughed at the fact that we were both 38-year-old men who are still hiding the food that they eat from their loved ones, because he understood it completely to have to eat a fucking, say it was McDonald's, to have to eat a fucking quarter pounder in your car so your mom doesn't find out. I'm 38 Wags. I know. This is fucked up.

It's pathetic. But that comes from your mom caring about you. She wants to make sure that her son has a long, fruitful life. That's bullshit. She cares about my curvy figure. I mean, that's so caring to some extent. There's care involved. By the way, I have to mention that when Duane mentioned smoking a lot of weed and his weed

tolerance going up, Emma, our producer, nodded as vigorously as I've ever seen. It's a struggle. I know very well. Yes, this quarantine was when I realized they're like, oh, that's why they say weed is a gateway drug, because if you do too much, it just stops working. And then yesterday was just rough generally, and I've been on a keto diet, so I have this service called Green Chef, and they send me four mils a week. And so I've been doing fairly good than yesterday.

I was like, you know what? Today is a weird day. So I went to Porto's, the bakery, and Burbank, and just got balls of carbs. They're just carbs full of mashed potatoes filled with more mashed potatoes. And I was like, oh, I'm really spiraling in a bad way. How long have you been doing the keto diet for? I feel like not for real, for real, because I don't get it, but I just know that when I do eat a bunch of carbs, I feel less good, and I've been doing that since about maybe

April when I was trying to really be like, oh, quarantine is a time to really take back life and do good things. But all it does is send me loose meat, and that's about it. Instead of a burger, just eat this loose meat, and then that's what I eat for dinner is a bunch of loose meat and vegetables, just like the Great Depression. I've lost my weight yo-yos up and down, and I've lost a bunch of weight not doing keto because that wasn't what the verbiage was at the time, but I did basically, yeah. That yo-yo is going up.

It's like one of those trick yo-yos that when the guy does a trick and goes up and it just is staying up. You know how he does that? Yo-yo and zero gravity, just perpetually innocent. But when I lost the most weight in my life, I was just basically eating meats and greens. That was it. I'm curious how you feel, but there's parts of it where it's fun that I can just have a bunch of meat and ranch dressing or whatever your choice is, but it also just gets very

stagnant and just dull. Yes, and it started to feel for me pretty barbaric. I was just like, why am I eating so much damn meat? You made me realize this is just the body of an animal because it was just a plate just for the crumbled animal. I was like, okay, now I'm getting why people don't eat meat sometimes because it's weird. I have that feeling when I think of animals in terms of having souls, and I have a plate of shrimp or a bunch of wings, and I'm eating a bunch of shrimp and I'm like, each one of

these was a living thing. I'm going to eat 12 living things in this meal, 12 things that had souls and lives and maybe in their own form, dreams and aspirations, and they're just going into me to be digested. I literally just stopped eating shrimp because I was like, this feels too close to like, they look too close to like how they live, like a burger, I'm like, this doesn't look like a cow, but like this shrimp looks like a shrimp, so I had to stop. I get that. I mean, yeah, there's not much difference from when, yeah, when you, I mean, lobster

is a very similar, you're eating the lobster, you're eating, you're eating the lobster. Imagine if, you know, in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, all the souls that Freddie eats, they're on his chest when he opens up a sweater. Oh, wow. Imagine if you took your shirt off and all those little shrimp faces were horrifying or coming out of your chest. Probably aesthetically more pleasing than what would happen if I took my shirt off now, though.

Oh, no, love yourself. Thank you, Dwight. Dwight, I know you're from Chicago. Do you have any big food city, famed food city? Do you have any favorites that make you think of home? Yes, I've been asking a friend of mine who came to visit. I asked if he could sneak a pizza puff and an Italian beef here, and he was like, no, but I was like, but I missed them so much.

Like there's the last time I was there was like last December, and I got a pizza puff and I hadn't had one in years, and it was so good in the worst way. Like my body immediately was like, you should not eat this. But my heart was like, I'm going to consume this as quickly as possible. It was so good in that moment. It didn't make me feel good, but I do not regret it and I would do the same thing right now. What is going, Mitch? I was going to say that I was I was back in L.A. for, you know, just a short stretch

of time and just being there for a few days. Wags. I mean, my brain is just broken because I haven't I've been gone one like a month. And I was there just back for there for a very short period of time. And I just was trying to eat every single thing that I love about L.A. And right, of course, of a week or so. Just Pac-Man and your way around L.A. Do you but you had you you were here for you were here for work.

So you had a reason to be out here. It wasn't just for for fun. Yeah, I mean, yes. But still, I could I could imagine being from a city like Chicago. I would if any time I'd visit, I'd want to I'd want to eat every single I would be unstoppable. I would want to eat at every single place that I loved. If I go to Chicago now, I'd do that.

Anyways, and none of it is healthy. It's all just like truly the work, the worst stuff. So good, so addictively good. Yeah, that's what L.A. does have that. There is that that is helpful that there are some stuff when I go to L.A. I'm like, oh, I want to eat this. And it is it is a Mendocino farm salad. Why? Because I like a Mendo salad, you know what I mean?

Like, but in Chicago, it's it is a chocolate cake shake. Yes, that is just like an Italian beef drenched in cheese. And you're like, you shouldn't eat this much cheese on anything. But also I want my bread to fall apart with gravy and cheese. So like that's what we're doing. Gravy and cheese are truly my favorite condiments in the world. And in Chicago, in Chicago, a chocolate cake shake is actually considered kind of healthy, right?

Yeah, it's what it is insane that anyone would be like, yeah, just like blend up that cake and drink it. Oh, man, I'm a man who has said at one point in my life, gravy was my favorite food. So I'm a big gravy advocate. What happened? You know, as I think I just kind of grew out of it. I actually I did have a cake.

And now it's mayo. It might be mayonnaise now. No, I don't know. I don't know what my favorite food is now. I might say I think I would. I think I might say I've said fried chicken before on the pod. I mean, I really like wings. I don't know. I got to think about it a little bit. There was a time when lasagna.

I was a big time Garfield. I had lasagna in my pole position. Did you hate Mondays? I did, you know, I did Lowe's Mondays for sure and like coffee. And, you know, got along well with John, not so much with Odie. Do you have a landlord? Your landlords named Odie. My landlord's name is John.

You got along with John. Well, there are many Johns in the world. Oh, yeah, I guess so. But what's what other John do we know? Oh, Hodgman, we know countless Johns, the Baptist, John, the Baptist. There you go. That's a big one. Name one other John besides Hodgman.

Gabriel, John, Gabriel, you probably forgot his first name because you always refer to him by his surname. And also, that is also J-O-N. Yes, that's John, too. That's John like Garfield. Oh, John is J-O-N in Garfield? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that.

Catch up on your cannon. All right, I'm sorry, Nick. All right. No, it's OK. But, you see, I'm a big gravy. I'm a big gravy fan myself. Do you have a type of gravy? Gabriel's his name is John.

His name is John. Jonathan Gabriel. Wow. Did you? Yeah, I mean, I really like a brown gravy. But also, I think a turkey gravy is very good. Oh, right. In no way, situations.

Right. Chicken gravy, I don't really interact with that much because, like, who out here making chicken gravy? So, yeah, I find the most part just like a nice brown gravy. Right. I really like it on top of, like, mac and cheese. On top of mac and cheese. Yes, that's my favorite meal.

Like, mac and cheese with, like, pot roasts and gravy, like, all mixed together. Wow. It gives me all the flavors that I want. And it's very homey and soothing. I can eat it every day. I tried it for the first time at Disney World in Florida. It was just like a random place that just, like, sold it.

And I was like, what a great combination. Wow. I never would have thought. I never would have thought to combine the two. That's a, I'm a fan of all gravies. Except there is, there is, is it like a meat gravy? That's kind of like a beef gravy. I sometimes don't like like a beef gravy.

It's kind of like the, do you mean like an au jus? No, I like an au jus. But I, but I, but I, the beef, the beef gravy is like a, at least when I was younger, when I had a turkey dinner and then there'd be beef, a can of beef gravy, I never liked. Sure. I never liked the mix, I guess. Yeah, you want your gravy to sync with your protein, for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to sync them up, Wags. And then also I do, I, I can say that I never had mac and cheese with gravy on it. And now I'm kicking myself. Missing out. I'm intrigued. For today's restaurant, I could have tried that very thing

and I didn't do it in a, in a while. Just to give you a sneak peek of what I got, but now I'm pissed off. Wow. Do you like, is it, I do want to, I do want to return to this real quick though, because as of this record, we are encroaching on the Thanksgiving season. And you're mentioning mac and cheese, you're mentioning gravy. Yes, gobble gobble to you all.

That's making me like, like obviously big Thanksgiving food items. Do you have any, any favorites for Thanksgiving? Yeah, I think I, I'm very much like a mixer of things, because I also love mac and cheese mixed with turkey and turkey gravy. I just think mac and cheese is a great base for everything. Wow. And I really like, like dressing and then like collard greens, and then mixing them all together to get the different flavors.

It really just does something for me, sexually. It's really good. Why, why Granite was both vigorously knotted at that one. Yes, yeah. Mitch, what are your, we've talked about this at length, but, but remind us some of your Thanksgiving food preferences. Well, I mean, you know that I love mashed potatoes. I'm a mashed potatoes and gravy.

I'm a big fan of, I love mashed and gravy. And I like, a lot of people, you know, there's too much hate towards turkey on Thanksgiving. It's dry, people say. Everyone's yelling at me. It's dry. Yeah. Shut up.

It's like, Turkey's dry. If you make it dry, don't make it dry. And boom, solutions. Don't move that at the symptom, be mad at the disease. I 100% agree. And Wiger, you had a shitty Dean grin on, and I can understand that you thought of some joke, you piece of shit.

You still have it on your face. No, I'll leave it in my brain. It's fine. The moment is past. Okay. Did it have to do with me saying that people yell, it's dry at me over and over again? People can put it together on their own.

Okay. You don't need to hold their hand through it. I get it, you fucking asshole. I'm glad you said it because I was like, what is he talking about? And I was like, oh, I can tell. Got it. Got it.

I can see the man who never smiles when he just thinks of a joke to himself and then doesn't say it. So turkey, I'm going to bat for turkey wags. I like turkey. Put some gravy on there. And I agree. It is the fault of the preparer.

If it's not moist, that's on them. But then besides that, I mean, I'm a stuffing man. I like the basics. Like mashed potato stuffing, turkey gravy. And then like one that's out of like, I like the green bean casserole, the green beans with like the crispy onions on top and that sauce, like the mushroom sauce or whatever it is.

Talk about something mixed up. Honestly, that is one of my favorite contributions of white culture. I really do like the green bean casserole. Very tasty. Exotic Caucasian dish. I really like it. That is, it is funny to me because I was thinking today

about the restaurant and how the food at this, the restaurant we went to today almost feels kind of like an old fashioned kind of like stuffy white person meal in many ways of like a, like a, like a turkey dinner just kind of feels like a boring, I think that is people's issues with the Thanksgiving dinner wags. People think it's kind of just like a boring stuffy dinner and you know, like they don't enjoy it.

So. Well, in a lot of contexts it is though. Like I've had, you know, and not to impugn my extended family, but I have had some, you know, Thanksgiving's that are not the, like the food isn't the best. And that's like not a thing where you want to, I think there's a, that's a well-earned reputation. I would just say based on, based on the Thanksgiving meals

you were being served growing up. Because sometimes it can be a boring meal if it's just like, you know, if, for instance, I've had situations where we've like got like the family is like gone to a restaurant or whatever because no one felt like cooking. And that's just a situation where a lot of times you're just getting some very generic food. If you're just going to like a chain restaurant

and getting their version, you're getting claim jumpers version of a Thanksgiving dinner. That's just like a kind of a lowest common denominator Thanksgiving. I agree with that. Yeah. But it is like the idea of the family dinner. Like that is a, that is a thing that it's, I guess that is

the origin of this week's chain, which we can get into in one second. But you know, like that, that was a thing that I think came about in the fifties and or post war really in chain restaurants. The idea that you would get like a meal from a fast food chain or from a chain restaurant that was like a replacement for a home cooked dinner. Like that didn't used to be a thing in America. That used to be a thing of just like you were cooking dinner

at home or you were going out to a restaurant. Yes. I, you know, I, I agree with that. And I kind of think that that's why today's restaurant is kind of a game changer in many ways. But I want to quickly say that last Thanksgiving, I was in, I was in Disney world and I went to more emotos for Thanksgiving dinner and it was wild.

They did like a, they did a peaking turkey wigs. Is that the Morimoto, Masaharu Morimoto? Is that the Morimoto from Iron Chef? That's right. Wigs. Wow. How about that? Yeah.

It was very exciting. And with my godparents family and myself, we went there and it was, we had a big Thanksgiving feast and it ruled. Is that it? You know, it's in, it's, it's like Disney Springs. It's like the, it's like downtown Disney sort of. Got it. Like right outside, you don't have to have a ticket to go in there.

There's a rainforest. The one in Florida is still thriving. There's a rainforest cafe. Well, right now, well, I was going to say right now, it probably looks like a ghost town, but that's probably not true. Probably it's packed. It's probably packed with people. Dwayne, you mentioned Disney world earlier.

Are you a theme park enthusiast? I am. This, the last two Thanksgiving I've spent at Thames Park. It's kind of like a tradition with me, my boyfriend and my best friend, cause we don't like cooking. And so we're like, Oh, what's fine. Let's go to an amusement park. So last year we went to Disneyland and the year before we went to universal.

And it was just like a fun day where we just ate like turkey legs and treats and too many edibles. That's, that sounds fantastic. I love a day at Disney world with a bunch of friends and Disneyland. Why is it probably more where I've done it? I've probably, I've been to Disneyland way more now than I've been to Disney world. But I was going to say, difference of opinion here. I, I, and I was just defending turkey, but I'm not a turkey leg guy at the parks.

I don't do turkey leg. Interesting. I don't like them. I think they're like too meaty. They're too, they're too meaty. They're just, they're also just a mess. It just feels like, I feel like if I have one, there's going to be like flies flying around me. Wags, I mean, there already is, but more, more flies are going to gather.

You're not unhygienic. I feel like it looks more appetizing than it tastes like. It looks so good. And then I eat it and I'm like, oh right. It's just like meat on a stick. Yeah. Yeah. And then you get to like,

I want the flavors to be like deeper. Right. And then I feel like I get to the port and there's always like a part where the turkey leg is like kind of mid rare and you're like, oh, I don't, is this all right to eat? So a little too pink for turkey for poultry. Well, I don't really know that feeling because I, I usually just put it in my mouth and then pull out a clean bone. Wags, you know, one of the last times I was at Disney, a bee fell on my head.

A bee fell right on my head. It didn't, it wasn't buzzing around you. It fell. It fell. It fell from a tree onto my head. Was it lifeless? Like this was its final resting place? I went to, no, I didn't try, no, it wasn't like it was trying to get buried in my hair or something,

but I went and grabbed it out and stung me right on my hand. Oh no. How did it fall on your head though? You said fall. It fell out of a tree onto my head. So it just kind of lost its balance and forgot it had wings for a second. I guess so. And then landed on your tuft of hair.

Yes. And it stung me. Wow. On the way down to Splash Mountain, just that area. Well, yes, which is now, Splash Mountain is no more, I think, right? Didn't it shut down? Yeah, they're changing it to be a Princess Tiana ride. Right around there, right when the, right at the curve there.

In Frontierland, a bee fell on my head. So this happened like on the ride? It didn't happen on the ride though. I was like, Sue, how dare that? Can you sue Disney parks for being stung by an insect in their grounds? I wonder. I mean, why not try? This is complicated for me because I was protesting the change of Splash Mountain.

I had a big sign. Oh, poor Mitch. Bad cause. You're not attached yourself to that. And then bee said, no. The bee knew. The animal kingdom attacked me. Rightfully so.

Like Princess Tiana bee. But yeah, no, you know what? They were very kind at Disney though. If you get hurt in any way, they were on top of things. Mickey came out and sucked my finger to try to suck the venom out. Oh, that's nice. That's hot. Yeah.

Why do you still haven't been to Star Wars land? I have not been to Star Wars land. I may never go. When is it going to be safe to go to a theme park again? When can I go visit the lands of Batuu? Probably not anytime soon. No. I wouldn't go for another year or so at least.

Yeah, I'll never experience Rise of the Resistance. Wow. But I mean, I'm okay with that. I wasn't super excited to go anyway. Remember I said we should do it for a Doe Boys episode? And you said, I can't do it. I gotta go there with Natalie first, that's what you said. It's true.

And then you just never went. Yeah, we didn't get a chance to go. And then everything shut down. Well, I mean, you can't really say everything shut down. It was, you had like a full year and a half. All right, we had a little bit of time. Still didn't quite line up with our schedules. I mean, I don't think that's a vibe.

I think you should blame the pandemic for things up to like 2015. She's like, it doesn't matter. Pandemic, I was busy. Do you have any, so do you have any theme park eats that are your favorite things you always have to get? Well, it's not always there. But Disneyland, the last couple of times I've been, they've had like these booths that change depending on like the thing.

And the last time I went, it was like Filipino food. And it was so fantastic. But they were all just like these like little booths that give you these like small like samples. But it was just like so fantastic. So every time I go there, I'm just like hoping to see like what the new theme is. Because for Lunar New Year, it was like Asian food.

And it was again, just like a really fantastic food that I just haven't had. So I really liked that. And then every time I've gone to Disney World, just going through Epcot has been great. Because I really enjoy going to those different places as well. There was like a Hibachi place that I went to that I think was in like, they're like Japan.

And I remember just enjoying it very much. Their tricks were very cool. They kept making like Mickey Mouse things out of onions, making them smoke. That was fun. And then I always get, I love dip and dots and churros, and I eat them together. Combo dip and dots and churros.

What is that? Do you like, you just take a bite of each? How does that combination work? So you get a warm churro and then you dip it in the dots so that you're getting the cold, the warm, and then the texture. It's really glows your mind. Do the dots just stick to the churros? Yes, because they're so cold and then the churros so hot.

Wow. It's like a liquor made. Yes, but that sounds amazing. It's a what? It's very tasty. It's like a what, Weiger? Liquor made. You never had that candy?

I don't think so. The white sticks that you put in the powder? Yeah, you get like a sugar stick. Yeah, I've had that. Those are fun. It's called that fun dip. Yeah, fun dip. Fun dip.

I've never heard liquor made. Liquor made is M-A-I-D? Liquor made. I think it might be just L-I-K. I'm going to look it up real quick. I mean, I know it as fun dip, but I was like, that just sounds like a generic version of fun dip. So I'm just going to go with it.

Wow. I just, you decide for that way better. Kind of like Kool-Aid versus like flavor aid. I'm like, you know, they're basically the same. So I assumed it was just like, I don't know. A weird version of fun dip. Who's, who's, who's, who's flavor maid's mascot? We got the Kool-Aid man.

Who's, does flavor, does flavor maid have like a weird shitty version of their mascot? I think it was like a cup with eyes. It can't move. It looks, it looks like it's in hell. You can just read its eyes. It can tell that it's in pain. Oh no, no, no, it's a straw with a face.

A straw. It's a straw with a face. A straw and a glass. See? I, because you can get them from Aldi. That's what you get when you are a poor child in Chicago, like myself. Why did you look it up?

I looked it up. First off, if you're at home, careful googling liquor maid, because the first few links here are all from porno websites. Why is that? I see, I see, I can see in your computer bookmarking a few right now. All right. It's, it's not liquor maid.

I was wrong. It's Lickmaid, L-I-K-M-A-I-D. And then a parenthetical. That is almost worse. Yeah. Lickmaid, yeah. And parenthetical fundip. Lickmaid was purchased by fundip.

So they, the, the two companies merged. And now it's Lickmaid fundip. That's, that's what it's officially called. So there you go. Oh. Yeah, that sounds like Lickmaid, like Lickmaass. Yeah, I agree with that. That is, that is, that is fucking bizarre.

Very, very raunchy. By the way, I'm really dating myself here because it says that the, that the candy was renamed when it was purchased by Nestle in 1989. Wow. So you were like 20 years old licking on this thing. All right. I'm two years older than you.

But yeah, I remember, I remember it from childhood as Lickmaid and it eventually became fundip, I guess. Oh, that's why I knew fundip because I'm just so young and hip. Dwayne, you made a good, no, this does make sense that if it's an old, if it's an older person thing, that's why Weiger thought of it that way. All right. His, his, his, why isn't your favorite,

your, your favorite candies are like a, a, a chunk of black licorice and what else? Worker's originals. Yes. Ribbon candy. Yes, Mitch. That's right. Um, you like taffy.

You're like a, a, a big fan of like flavorless taffy. You know what? Here's the thing. I had a taffy period and then it's just, it just sticks in your teeth too much. I have a big, I have a big issue with stuff getting stuck in my teeth now. It's just, it's just too, it's just excessive.

Yeah. I had a taffy period from 1982 till 2020. Oh boy. I think I stopped eating like most candy once I got braces because I had them for like four years. And then once I, my braces got off, I was just like, oh, I guess I just don't crave candy because I haven't had it in so long.

But recently I had like one of those, like, um, those like straws. They're, they're like sugar straws. Oh yeah. And man, that shit was good. I was like, oh, this is what candy tastes like. Yeah, this is great. Pixie sticks we're talking?

Pixie sticks? What is a pixie stick? No wags. I know you're talking about like the sour punch straws, right Dwayne? Yes. Oh, okay, okay. Like an edible straw.

Not a straw that's a pouch. Wags, you're thinking about powdered sugar a lot today. I'm thinking about old time candies. That's what's in my brain. Oh yeah. Those things that you go like, no, no, that's nasty. Yeah, those things are pure sugar. Yeah, those are vile.

When you think of kids candies, those are, those, those are pretty, just the powdered sugar that you just pour into your mouth is fucking gross. But Wags, I realized, Dwayne said earlier that we could, we could, anything from to 2015, we could blame on the pandemic. So it's possible for us to blame this podcast on the pandemic. Yeah, you know, DOBOYS defers all responsibility for this awful show.

Yeah, it's the pandemic's fault. The pandemic happened. We thought we should do this podcast. Yeah. So we apologize. We're sorry. There's always a pandemic of some sort. What we should get to this week's chain, Boston Market,

which we haven't reviewed since episode 15, speaking of 2015, with Annie Mebin, our good friend Annie Mebin, founded, founded as Boston Chicken back in 1985, over 450 locations today, and was once owned and flipped, flipped my house style by McDonald's. McDonald's did the same thing with Chipotle. They bought it, they owned it for a few years, then they sold it for a profit. I guess this is a thing they do.

Dwayne, do you have any prior takes on Boston Market? McDonald's sounds like one of the sharks on Shark Tank. They are there. Very Mr. Wonderful-esque, you know? They're just in it for a lot of times for the real estate. They bought Boston Market for the real estate, and then they were like, you know what, this chain is actually profitable.

We'll just sell it and wash our hands of it. Dwayne, do you have any prior takes on Boston Market? I do. Boston Market has been really, I have some profound memories of Boston Market and Chicago. My very first time eating there, I was very young, maybe like eight or nine, and this is gonna get a little dark.

I remember my parents were like arguing, and we like, my father, and then my mother basically was like, get out, father and kids, I need a break from y'all. And then she was like, I'm not cooking. So my father took us to Boston Market, and it was the first time that I like, knew that there was a restaurant like that, and they, we have like this whole platter of food,

and it felt very much like TV. It felt like what you would see on like a Christmas movie. And I was like, this is so cool. And I remember loving it so much, because I was like, oh, it feels like Thanksgiving on like a regular day. And then there was a bar, I Boston Market next to Second City, and when I was working there, that's just like the place that I would go.

And I, and if you go around the right time, like during closing, they would just give you free food. So I got a lot of free chicken, chicken pot pies, because I knew exactly when to go, because if they were just gonna throw them away. So if you go right at closing, and you'd be like, give me them chicken pot pies. I think if I went into a Boston Market and said,

give me this, the chicken pot pie, they think it was like a food holdup. Yeah, the place are being called. Yeah, it's a, so it sounds like you were, it's an interesting place to go as a solo diner, because I always think of it in a family context. And that was the same sort of thing that we, that growing up, like when we'd get Boston Market,

it was just, it was what we were, what you were just talking about, what we were talking about earlier of just like, like, you know, one of my parents didn't feel like cooking. And so we just get a big, a big dinner for the family. I didn't get it a lot in adulthood. Mitch, as a Bostonian who's currently in the Boston, the greater Boston area right now,

what is your Boston Market going in? What is your, what are your thoughts on this chain? Well, like I said before, I do think it is like a thing that opened up, and like Dwayne was saying, it's that sort of thing that opened up like these like kind of fun, full meals for families that really wasn't like, you could get those kind of maybe locally at some places or,

but to get like a full rotisserie chicken dinner and mashed potatoes and gravy and corn and like a, and another point that Dwayne made was, is that sort of thing of like, oh, like if a family doesn't, if like your mom doesn't want to cook, I feel like, like what you were saying of like a family fight, and then going and getting Boston Market almost feels

like an experience that probably a lot of people, I bet you a lot of people relate to that in many ways. Right. Is when someone's fed up and like, I don't want to fucking cook, let's get Boston Market. I feel like it's that sort of place. And I have, I have fond memories of it just because yeah, like getting rotisserie chicken and mashed potatoes

and gravy and corn is, that's a good dinner night. You know what I mean? It's a, everyone in the family is having a good time. I think that it became a thing of like, like how people feel about turkey dinner or something is like, it became a go-to for, I think a lot of families. I think it like, if this is like a chain that was like, maybe overused by my family,

like to have something that wasn't like fast food that you could kind of like think was like kind of like, not healthy, but like an actual meal or nourishing in some way. You know what I mean? Like a- Well, I think the big thing it's competing against is the big bucket of fried chicken, which would get like, a rotisserie chicken is inarguably healthier than fried chicken.

A hundred percent. And I think, I think younger listeners might not understand that this was like, this was that alternative. And it was a thing where like, oh, a rotisserie chicken is kind of healthy for you. And then, you know, the sides are obviously not healthy, but- Yes. It was that sort of thing of, it was a good alternative

when your parents didn't want to cook. And it wasn't like a thing that like I'd be asking for, I guess is more like, it wasn't like, can we get Boston Market? Like I did like it, and I'm sure that I did ask for it once or twice. But this was more like a parent's decision to be like, we're going to get Boston Market tonight. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't like, it was a treat when you got it, it was never a treat that you asked for. Because you're like, as a kid, I never thought like, I want a full course meal right now. I'm like, no, like give me like a burger so I can like peace out. But I would say as a grownup, I went there more often than as a kid.

Because I think I attach those flavors to a certain feeling. So when I wanted to feel a certain feeling, I'd be like, oh, I'm going to hit up this Boston Market and go get some gravy. Like it had all of the things that I can mix together to create like the perfect little like bowl that you would get at like KFC. Right. Like mac and cheese, gravy, they had turkey. Like they just had like a bunch of things that I could be like,

I can make a cool bowl. Yes, it really is. It really is home. It is just has that home cooking feel to it. And that was something, you know what I mean? Like that, I think that now like having things other than fried food that were like available like fresh and ready and hot like that, like it was something that was newer at the time.

And now it feels like old hat. And to me, just saying that same thing from before is like, oh, this feels like a meal that America is like bored of. It feels very 1980s-ish. You know what I mean? Like it feels 80s and mid 90s or something. It just feels like a meal of the past. Sure.

But still good. I mean, still good. When I got my meal today, I wasn't upset. You know what I mean? Like, should I get into it? Let's get into it. All right. I'll get into it.

I'll go. I'll tell you what I got first. I got a half rotisserie chicken meal likes. And I got that with mashed potatoes, a side of gravy, some sweet corn. And I wanted a thing of cornbread. Look, I'm in quarantine. My mom picked this up for me and dropped it off at my door. Wow.

I know. It was very kind of her. But I didn't get a piece of cornbread. So that was kind of a bummer to me right off the gate, because I think the cornbread is pretty good. You're in quarantine because you traveled cross-country? Yes. Yeah.

You traveled and then you're being safe. You're quarantining for 14 days. Yes. 14 days. But what an incredible gesture from your mom. She's a good mom. How nice she is. She's a good mom.

That's a sweet mom. She's very nice. Yes. I don't have COVID for everybody out there who thinks I have COVID. I don't have COVID yet. I've been trying to catch it. Mitch, no. I'm trying.

You were bug chasers, wise. Oh, boy. And then, OK, hold on. Now my phone is frozen, so I can't look at my menu. But I got the garlic and herb version of the rotisserie chicken, which is a thing that they do that I didn't even realize that they do. And I have thoughts on that, but I'll get into that in a second. Then I got a side of mac and cheese,

because how can you not get the mac and cheese when you go to Boston? Honestly. I mean, right, what are you doing? If you're going there and you're not getting the mac and cheese, what are you doing? And why? Because it looks like you probably didn't get the mac and cheese from the look on your face.

We'll talk about it. Then I got myself a chicken carver sandwich, which is interesting. So when I graduated from the Boston Market meals of just having them with my family, and I could drive around in the world myself, late high school or whatever, or in college, I would go with the Chankton to Boston Market when we get the chicken carver sandwich. And I really like the chicken carver sandwich.

You get the chicken carver sandwich and you get yourself a side, a mac and cheese, like we said before, or mashed potatoes and gravy. You're in business, man. That was a meal I really, really enjoyed. The chicken carver sandwich has changed a lot over the years. It's not like a baguette, or like it's not like a baguette roll, I feel like. It's a rotisserie chicken, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and an herb, aioli. But I had it today and it was still pretty tasty.

It just, my thought on a lot of the food was that it didn't taste as special anymore. It felt kind of more processed, which like, and maybe it just always was that way. I'm not sure, you know what I mean? But the mac and cheese was still fantastic. I really liked the mac and cheese. I ordered a brownie and they did not put the brownie in the bag, so I didn't get to taste the brownie. But the carver sandwich was still good, but not nearly as good as I remembered it.

But the chicken wigs, the chicken was still good. It was still really, it was a good half rotisserie chicken. And it's just that the mashed potatoes felt like a little bit more processed. Right. And the corn was fine. I mean, corn is just like to dip. Usually I just am taking my mashed potatoes and dipping them in the corn. I don't know what that herb, what that like the garlic herb coating on the chicken

did really, it feels kind of like almost like a panic move by them to kind of try to be like, we got, it's not just straight rotisserie chicken. We can do a bunch of different versions of it now. But I don't know if it really helped too much. I mean, like the taste of it was fine. It didn't ruin it. But I'm just like, what does this really do? It's just like they're pouring stuff on the rotisserie chicken.

I also got myself a Coke, which was, which was fine. You still, you've been sipping on this Coke throughout this record. I certainly have. Well, BTS for our listeners. Wise, you may wonder why I said John, my landlord in like Beetlejuice. He's been texting me. So if you'd seen me look at my phone, he's been, he's been texting me a bunch. He's, I look, I'm looking right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a stench coming from your apartment. We're trying to figure out what it is. Smells like the aftermath of a rotisserie chicken. Do you know anything about it? Well, that's, you know, you make a great, you do make a great point. Honestly, it is a meal that's like, maybe this is why people, maybe this is why it's not as popular,

but to sit down and kind of pick through half of a chicken for lunch. It's also kind of a crazy mess too. You know what I mean? It's a messy meal. It's a messy meal. It's very heavy. Like most of Austin's markets, like you like eat it and then you're like, there's no reason to still be awake.

I must go to sleep. It's just like ribs, meatloaf, mashed potatoes. Like it's just food that you would eat to go to sleep. So it's very hard. And I used to like get it for like lunch and then by like four, I'm like, I can't, I have passed away. I can't. A lot, but it's very like, it is so good.

And there's like so many choices, but it does feel just like you would eat there if you were like an older person who goes to sleep. I like 6 p.m. It feels like that's where you would go. And then at four, you eat that plate full of cards and then you go to sleep at six, wake up at 7 a.m. and do it all over again. Man, I can't wait to get there. Jesus.

That's my, it's my aspiration in life. You can't wait to be an elderly person. That would be like one of your three wishes was to be like an elderly man. I've been living like that for so long anyway. I'm already like an early bed, early to bed, early to rise guy. So it is when I, when I finally am like in the demographic where that's okay, I can't wait. You'll be dead long before that. Um, yeah, we are.

Well, you make a good point of that is kind of when I think of Boston Market, I sadly, you are kind of thinking a bunch of blue haired blue hairs. You're thinking of the older crowd. I do kind of get that impression from it now. Like I don't, obviously I am, I'm grown and I, I don't have, you know, I don't have, I don't live in a house with my mom and dad. Well, right now I live in a house with my mom, but I don't have family dinners every week and I don't have a family of my own.

So I don't know if that is still a common thing with families. Let's pick up Boston Market for dinner. I'm sure that it is in some ways, but in my mind, it does feel kind of like an older person, a blue hair spot with a lot of diners, especially closing down and stuff like that. It is that sort of thing. Your marches, your millhouses, your Kirk Van Houtens. Boston Market gives me like fast food Marie calendar. Yeah, sure.

Yes. 100%. And, and I'm a, you know, and I liked Marie calendars growing up. Our most recent visit for the podcast, you know, it feels like it's, it's receding and declining a little bit. But I think you're right, Mitch, that this is, this place does kind of tread on nostalgia. And I think maybe the demographics are aging up a little bit. The people who are, who are nostalgic for this kind of big meal. The other thing I will say is that Boston Market is, it has been competing with a decade plus now

with the new contender, which is the grocery store rotisserie chicken meal. And that is such a good value. And let me tell you, every like two weeks, I get a rotisserie chicken from Ralph's just because I'm like, it's right there. Right. Look at that. It's so good. Yeah, it's so good and it's so cheap.

They can sell it at a loss. Boston Market can't. So it's, it's tough for them to, I feel like compete on the, in that territory. You talked about who gets it though, Mitch. I will say I, we went on a Sunday for lunch and I went to pick it up and, and bring it home and, and queued up there. There were a number of families it feels like with, you know, with younger kids. So I think it is still just like a place where you can just get a lot of food

for your family for not too much. I like that. That's, that makes me happy, honestly. I got the, I also got the half rotisserie chicken. I went all dark and I also got the roasted garlic and herb and Mitch, you were saying, what is that roasted garlic and herb sauce doing? I will say as far as what it was doing for my chicken, it was, I think it had been reduced a little too much because it was just way, way too salty.

And I like salt. So for something to be salt, too salty for me, it has to be really, really, it have a really potent salinity. And so it was, you know, the garlic sauce, the garlic flavor I thought was good, but just the, just a punishing amount of salt. I actually was, was a little too much for me. I have some of my other notes on my, on my phone here. I forget to transfer them to my, to my Google doc, unprofessional of me.

So I'm sorry if we're looking at my phone right now. I got a, I know it's, it's, it's sloppy. It's atypical for me. I will say this is a note I wrote down, really well packaged and tons of napkins, which I think counts for something. It, you know, you're getting a big to go meal. You want it to be well packaged and it came home and it wasn't a mess. You know what I think?

Yes. I think the person of the register knew they had a guy who likes the jacket picking up. All right. Hey, let's give this guy some extra napkins. Okay. I'm saying you're going to go home and use it. You get what I'm saying. I understand.

The, the cream spinach was my favorite side and it was kind of one big glob and more spinach than creamed, but I liked that composition. I liked the, and I thought the cream spinach was delightful. I also got the, the sweet potato, uh, the casserole, which was very sweet, this pureed texture, a lot of nutmeg, very much a dessert course, but I think that's okay if you know that going in. If you know what you're getting from your sweet potato pies, this is going to kind of serve as what the brownie would have served for you, Mitch, uh, then I think it'll do you all right. I like the mac and cheese quite a bit.

It's spiral pasta and it's very, very, you know, well cooked spiral pasta. I mean, it was certainly well passed al dente. Velvita is, is how I wrote down the cheese, my description of the cheese in the notes, which again, you know, I like, um, I thought the mac and cheese was quite good and the cornbread, I, you know what, here's my issue with a cornbread. It's more of a cornbread flavored dinner roll than proper cornbread. I think that's maybe a deficiency with the, you know, it's, it's fine for sopping. If you got, because you got a lot of wet stuff left on your plate after you're, you're done eating.

Um, and so that's why those guys gave me the, that's why those guys gave me those napkins. All right. I'm busting on my fucking dinner. Grow up. I wasn't saying on your dinner. I thought it wasn't, you'd eat and then do it. Okay. Natalie also got herself the prime rib.

I will say the prime rib is very pricey as a meal for one. But I gotta say this, that prime rib, I, I, I got in on a Sunday night, so I wasn't able to get it. Yes. But it was very interesting. It was, it was very interesting to me just to have a place where like, oh, I can get a prime rib to go. I kind of like, like, I kind of like that idea. I think it's kind of good. I feel like that's for, that's one for dad.

It's just like, you know, we're going to big chicken for the family and dad, you get your prime rib, but it's, it's a lot for one person's, one person's meal. I get a little uneasy when I feel like restaurants like this, uh, try to fly too close to the sun. Like, why are you like, like one time I got like a lamb from a Hall of Garden and I was like, when I do that, why, first of all, why are you selling lamb? That's, this is not the place. I put that name with Bust Market like, why are you selling prime rib? That's like if they suddenly were like, Bust Market has scallops.

I would be like, why? Yes. How are you doing that? Stay in your lane. Yeah. And I feel like to your point, flying too close to the sun, it is like a, you know, it's a tall order to pull that off. And, and I think it, you know, it was just kind of overcooked. It, it wasn't, it didn't seem like a great, a great piece of meat, certainly for the price.

And if you spend just a little bit more, you can get it from a, you know, from a proper steakhouse. Duane, what did you, what did you get on your most recent visit to Boston Market? I got one of those bowls that you can make like a market bowl. And I got mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, and then turkey with gravy and then corn. And I mix it all together. Wow. Wow. I love it.

I think mash, like mash and like mac together, it's such a great combination. This is eye opening. Very tiring. Like it's very, it's very heavy, but like the taste is so good. Because like you have the like texture of the noodles. And then the cheese and the mash mix is just a very good combo. And then if you add like a protein that adds that, that meat and then corn at another layer, and then gravy just brings it all together.

And it's just wonderful. Wow. It's a big flavor pile. I love it. Sounds delightful. It's a, any, any standouts or you're just kind of eating everything is one big mush. I just like one big mush. I eat like a child, like true.

I'm just like, mix it all together. So I can just like every bite, I'm going to taste every flavor. Because I just really try to make just like a smorgasbord of just like everything. I also like their meatloaf. I really, and I think it just comes from like, I use my families from the south and every summer I'd go down there and they would just always eat a bunch of meatloaf. And it's just like meatloaf brings me so much like pleasure. I really love their meatloaf.

Usually what I do is I have the same thing there and I just switch out the proteins. But usually my base is always mac and cheese, match and corn, because I feel like those three just go together. Right. And then, and then a chicken pot pie if I'm just like want a completely different flavor. I love a chicken pot pie and I think they do it well. I was, I was just, I was reading about this, the bowl. It's the create, create your own market bowl.

You're the boss of this bowl. Nick, I thought you'd like that. Very cool. Because you get to build it yourself and just looking at it, that is really, it is really wild because it is that sort of thing of like so many bowls I feel like are built on the fact of like, oh, you can make like a healthy bowl. It's like brown rice and chicken. That was originally the Chipotle approach.

Yes. And this, this one is, you know, you can do, you can do mashed potatoes and fucking mac and cheese and then top it off with barbecue sauce or luscious gravy. Just layers of carbs and trans fats. Yeah, it's, it's, but I mean, it's decadent. Wow, I salute you for that order. That is, that is something else. I love it.

Well, we should get to our final thoughts on this week's chain, Boston Market. So Dwayne, here's how this will work. We will each go around, give a closing argument, a summation of our lifetime of experiences with this chain and end by giving it a fork score from zero to five. So zero to five forks, Dwayne, you are a guest. We will begin with you. My final thoughts, I think Boston Market is ultimately good for what it is. I feel like if you know what you're in for, then you're going to get exactly that

or worse, depending on who prepared it. But if you find, if you go to Boston Market on a good day, find the right person, you can have a great time and get a bunch of free stuff. So I personally would give it four out of five forks. Because personally, I've, the times that I've been there, the experiences that I've had based on the people that have worked there have been great. And I really enjoy a restaurant where the workers feel good enough to be good to me. Absolutely.

Four forks. Very good score. Mitch, what do you think? Relatively speaking. Because you know, it's like within the car fans of like Boston Market. Right. My fork score is not too much different honestly, which is maybe surprising because I've spent a lot of time criticizing it too in many ways.

But like I said, like there's not, there's still, this kind of still is besides like you're saying the grocery store, picking up a rotisserie chicken, this is still kind of it as far as like fast food, fast service, like sit down rotisserie chicken dinner, right? Like, well, like what, can you think of anything else that really does it? Yeah, there's probably some regional equivalents, but I think nationwide it's, it's Boston Market. Yeah. And I think it just comes down to that thing of like, I think food quality has definitely dipped. But this is a chain that I probably would put it in the Golden Plate Club at one point.

Look, it's maybe the best representation of Boston that we have. Better than even John Kerry? Wow, better than John Kerry. This is really hard. How can you be better than John Kerry? Yes, better than John Kerry. The gravy alone is better than John Kerry. Wow.

I envy his charisma. If somebody was like, gravy or John Kerry, I'd be like, move John Kerry. God, you envying John Kerry's charisma? Dear God. He's got a personality. God, think of the hubris. He was our nominee at one point for God's sakes. This is John Kerry reporting for duty.

Remember that at the DNC? So Graham just instantly just saw like all these, the entire Midwest turning red. Oh God, that's fucking Frankenstein. He is a Frankenstein man, but I won't hold that against him because I too am a Frankenstein man. I think that the bottom line is, is that even with the dip in quality of the food, the food is still pretty good. I agree that I do feel like I need to take a nap now, but I always feel that way. But I do, especially after, after Boston Market, it is a heavy meal.

Like I question what its place is in this world, but what it's trying to do is be a rotisserie, chicken, family dinner, meal replacement sort of thing where you can pick up meals, I'm sorry, at home meal replacement sort of thing, where you can pick up a meal if you don't want to cook. And it's that sort of meal that I like. I'm not sick of rotisserie, chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy and corn because I don't eat it that much anymore. And, and I like turkey dinner because I have turkey dinner like once a year. So I don't, it doesn't bother me. I, I like it. Why I'm going, I don't know how much longer this place is going to stay open.

And, and I wish that the quality was still up there. And, and I just do wonder about this place. It's kind of an enigma to me now, but three and a half forks, three forks, two times, very good score. I'm in the same ballpark. I think we're going to be ballpark buds on this one. I agree with you, Mitch. I think just based on this, this recent experience, I would not put this in the hallowed hall of the golden plate club. But I will say that this place is, it does what it does well. And we've, we've talked a lot about the, the mission statement of this podcast, which is evaluating this place on its own terms. And, and which, which Dwayne so ably did in his review. And I will say that

this place does what Boston market is trying to do well. I didn't have a, you know, the, the food of quality, I feel like was a little bit not up to par on this most recent visit. I will just say that a lot of these locations of, of a lot of franchises have seemed to be understaffed. And this seemed to be the case here. And, you know, I kind of, it felt like there were two workers scrambling around to try to fulfill everyone's meals. So, you know, maybe that's the culprit. But I will say that this place has solid sides. I, again, I thought all the sides were good. And, you know, does the proteins well, if you keep it simple, I think if you're going to get the rotisserie chicken, speaking of ungepochka, the sauce is ungepochka. Stick with the,

stick with the original version. You don't need to add more, add anything else to it. But I think, you know, and why get this place over a grocery store? Well, it doesn't just have rotisserie chicken. Like if you want to get ribs, you can get ribs. If you want to get meatloaf, you can get meatloaf. It's, so you can get other proteins here. And I think that's maybe the reason that you would go for it over a grocery store, despite its higher price point. So, I am going to say. And you know what, Alex? I'll say this, too. It's probably going to taste, be a little bit tastier than a lot of your local grocery stores. Yeah, definitely, definitely a little bit of a higher quality level. And I think if I did a

blind taste test, maybe I couldn't pick a Kroger chicken apart from Boston. I'm just, it maybe is a little better. And also the sides, you can get, you can get a bunch of sides, too. I mean, like, of course you can get that at the grocery store, but it's just convenience, I guess. A lot of times the sides of the grocery store, you have to reheat at home, etc. And I just want to point out that like, I do think it's like a time capsule of like, it's time. And I really, like, it's, for me, it hasn't really, like, stepped out of his lane too much. Like, it's always weird for me, but like, if I was like, Burger King is like, we sell tacos now, and it's like, you're trying very hard. Whereas Boston Market is like, we've been like this forever.

They're like, if you like us, come. If you don't, that's fine, too. And I really like that. I go three forks for Boston Market. Wow. Dwayne Perkins, thank you so much for being here. An absolute delight. New episodes of the Amber Ruffin Show premiere Fridays on Peacock. As I mentioned, anything else you would like to plug at this time? Uh, no, just like, be kind. There you go. Be kind. That's a great thing to say, especially when this episode drops. So

what a takeaway. Everyone be kind. Everyone be kind out there. Hey, Mitch, you and I can maybe do that to each other. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more Doe Boys. Welcome back to Doe Boys. Mitch, it's time for a segment. We have some quartets of foodstuffs, and we're going to decide on one that has to go from each. It's time for our new segment. A single item must be banished. Wow. One's gotta go. It's a, our segment, our version is a single item must be banished, but yes. Is that so we don't get sued or something?

Yeah, this is the public domain version of that. So a single item must be banished will be what we're playing here. I'm going to share the screen here with some items, with some options. Wait, am I sharing my whole screen or just this tab? Just this tab. Okay. Keep that in Emma. Yeah, it's a sheer panic. It's worth it. Am I sharing my whole screen? Is my, is my liquor made search still up? Okay, here we go. No, but your only fans is. Oh no. Wow. Hasn't launched yet. All right. The most embarrassing thing is the one subscriber is me.

Thank you, Mitch. Thank you for helping me get off the go. You support your friend. Exactly. You gotta. So the, so this is a Buzzfeed article, which Thanksgiving food's gotta go. I got that thing on 24 seven, by the way. Which type of turkey has to go? Wow. We will begin with. We have roasted, deep fried, smoked, and bacon wrapped. Wags. I got, I know which one's going to go right out the bath. This is easy. Yes. Oh, look, for me, the roasted and the deep fried both got to stay because classic roasted. Sure. Deep fried is fun. I think for me, I'm going to get rid of the bacon wrapped. The bacon wrapped is going to go. The bacon vacation. Look, I love bacon, but the baconification event,

so many things is just silly. Thank you. Thank you. It's silly at this point. It's too much. Keep comedy. Bacon. We don't need it. I don't, look, pizza isn't a personality. Bacon isn't a personality. I don't need bacon on my fucking turkey. Get out of here. Get out of here. It's got to go. I concur, Mitch. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. It's got to be banished. Yes. If I'm going to say a single item must be banished, because let me tell you, I've had some delightful smoked turkey. Boy, you can get some smoked turkey that is just heaven. And speaking of keeping it moist, I mean, that absolutely works. Do you know who I get my smoked turkey from? Snoop Dogg. Who's that? Oh, Snoop Dogg. Now you're speaking in my language, buddy. Oh, Jesus. It feels like you're on a 15-second delay,

Wager. Am I on a delay? There is a delay happening. I don't know what's happening exactly, but something's delayed. Hold on, Wager. Answer, say, yes, say, say yes when I, when I ask you to. Say yes now. Yes. Jesus Christ. That's like a four-second delay. That's a substantial delay. That's understandable. I wonder if it's because you're sharing the screen. Let me stop sharing the screen. All right. Okay. Wager. Let's do the yes test again. All right. Here is the yes test. Wager, when you hear this, say yes now. Yes. No, it's still so long. I think we maybe had some drift. Yeah, sometimes the drift happens. I think also sometimes your internet gets like clogged, some everyone's internet will just get clogged down. It slows down a little bit.

Might just need to settle out. Wow. This is like a, all right, let's try. All this drift, what are we in the Fast and Furious franchise? Jesus. All right, let's try to fucking finish this somehow. Okay. I'm going to stop sharing my screen. Let's see if it helps. All right. Next up, which side dish has to go? Which single item must be banished? Green bean casserole, mac and cheese, cranberry sauce, or stuffing? This is a tough one. All right, Wags, you got to, you got to share the screen. I got to, I got to take a look at these. You need, you need a visual guide for a green bean casserole, mac and cheese, cranberry sauce. All right, here we go. I also love Fast and Furious, so this is going to be fun for me.

Mitch is licking his laptop. Man, imagine like a scratch and sniff laptop. That would be. They'll do that the next time they remake, they remake Willy Wonka. Jesus. Wags, that'll be the new take. I guess scratch and sniff iPad. Do you know what I think? I think smell technology needs, smell technology needs to come around. It's, it's, it's way far behind. It's, it should be further along than it is, is what I have to say. I agree. I agree. All right, so this is, look, I'm a Massachusetts boy. So this is going to, this is a lot of people are going to be mad at me to say this, but especially that style. I'm glad I have a visual here,

especially that style of cranberry sauce. I like just the canned cranberry sauce. That's like a jello. This, this cranberry sauce, it's got to go. You're banished. The cranberry sauce. Wow. Cranberry sauce is the single item that must be banished from the, from the Night Spoon, Mike Mitchell. This is tricky for me. As much as, I like all these items, I might say, and perhaps based on the first half of the episode, this will seem like heresy, but I might honestly say the green bean casserole of these four. Stupid. I think this is a tough decision. You got, you got to, you got to lose one and it's not going to be pleasant. See, I think that would have been my answer too. Wow. I'm like, I'm also banishing green bean casserole. Emma, what about, let's go

back to the turkeys. No, I agreed with, I agreed with the turkeys because I think that bacon's unnecessary. Turkeys are already so much. We don't need to add bacon to it, but cranberry sauce is the only like acidic thing on your Thanksgiving plate. It like cuts all the fat of everything. I feel like, I feel like to get rid of it would be hard, but I also don't really love green bean casserole that much. You know what? I don't got to cut any of that fat. Give me, give me all three. Give me all those three. Bye bye cranberry. Back to the bogs you go. Back to the cranberry bogs. Wise, you know that when I was a boy and we were in Cape Cod, we went to the ocean spray cranberry bogs. Yeah, they're cool. Was it ocean spray? I don't know. We went to the cranberry bogs and we

when we picked cranberries. No, I do think it's ocean spray that owns like all the bogs on the south shore. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Mitch, is it possible that this was the Mitchells just trying to return to their ancestral home? The bogs? Yeah. I do. My Irish roots are from, we lived in bogs basically. All right. Well, next one, let's see. I'm aware. Which potato dish has to go? These are the options. Mashed potatoes with gravy, garlic mashed potatoes, candied yams, and sweet potato casserole. So you got your yams and your sweet potatoes lumped in with the savory potatoes to make this a little bit more of a challenge. This is difficult. What do you think, Mitchell? This is difficult. I think you're not going to

agree with me here, Wise, because look, there's two mashed potato choices. So people are going to be like, you got to get rid of one of the mashed potatoes, right? And no, you don't got to. I think I'm going to get rid of the sweet potato casserole. I'm also going to get rid of one of the sweeter dishes. However, I would get rid of the candied yams. And this is my issue. I just always the marshmallows on top never quite clicked with me. I'm just like, this is this is just a little too much. I don't know. I would maybe get rid of the candied yams, too. It's between those two. Yeah, I say candied yams, because that's too much like a dessert. And there's already so much dessert at Thanksgiving. Plus, I love mashed

potatoes. I'll eat them for the rest of my life. You know what? I'm going to make it unanimous. Bye bye, candied yams. I'm going to keep the sweet potato casserole instead. Hell yeah. Candied yams, an item which must be banished. All right, next up. Which cranberry sauce has to go? Now here we have only two options, not the usual four options. There's a third. If you scroll down a little bit, it's the guy on the skateboard drinking the ocean spray cranberry juice. Yes, the famous TikToker. I would keep that guy for sure. For sure. He's staying. He's staying. So fresh chunky sauce or jellied canned sauce, which one has to go? Fresh chunky or jellied canned? Wags, you know my answer already. Bye bye to that fresh chunky

sauce. Give me the can. Come on. Yeah, I'm with Mitch. Wow. By the way, fresh chunky and jellied canned both feel like words that can be used to describe you and me, Mitch. I think I would say jellied canned stays. And I think a single item which was to be banished is fresh chunky sauce. I've had some delightful fresh chunky cranberry sauces, but I like the jellied canned. It's like we talked about on a recent episode, and this is a preference of an Adelaide's of just like the canned corned beef hash being sometimes preferable to the fresh corned beef hash. It's just a context. Yeah, I love the texture of cranberries. In the non-canned one, it's usually whole cranberries or pieces of actual cranberries. It's not a great

texture. A fresh chunky sounds like if I was getting yelled at by a Karen. That's what it sounds like she did. You're a fresh chunky man. That's what she'd say to me. Don't get fresh with me, Mr. Chunky. Okay, Karen. You're on Twitter, Karen. Hope you're happy. Fuck the fresh chunky shit. I mean, come on. Get that shit out of there. Yeah, we don't need it. We have one more. Which type of pie has to go? We're getting to our dessert course now, and here are our options for Thanksgiving. Pumpkin, apple, pecan. Yep. Some say pecan. Pecan. Or sweet potato. Some say sweet potato. Mitch, you're saying a single item which wants to be banished is pecan pie immediately. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. He was practicing his

pecan. Mitch is banishing pecan pie. No, this is fake. This is fake chews. Oh, you were just pronouncing it. Okay. Yes. Pecan or pecan and apple pies are both staying. Wow. My question is sweet potato versus pumpkin. I don't know. You know what? Oh, God. I'd have to do a side by side. I really do for sweet potato and pumpkin, but I might get rid of pumpkin because I think it's overrated. Hmm. I have a lot of fondness for pumpkin pie due to my late grandmother on my father's side, and that was always a thing that she would prepare. Delightful pumpkin, a delightful apple. So those two are staying. Also, that's because your grandfather was pumpkin head, right? Yeah. I mean, that's kind of the family shame. We don't talk about that much.

That your grandpa was the murderous pumpkin head. Was pumpkin head. Yeah. Anyway, the Weigars have been trying to move past that. Is that too old and obscure of a reference? Does anyone know who pumpkin head is anymore? I mean, I think it's fine for our podcast. I'm sorry, jigsaw. Is that better? Is that what you want? Do you want jigsaw mentions? This pie one seems like something jigsaw would set up himself. Yeah. This is a difficult one, and you're not sure what choice you're going to have to make. But as far as me, a single item has to go. I think I might get rid of this. I might exile the sweet

potato partly because we have that sweet potato casserole from earlier. Yeah. You know what? That's a good point. That's maybe my calculation. Why? Because I saved sweet potato casserole before I'm with you. My issue is that I just had so many bad pumpkin pies, but that also goes with sweet potato too. So sweet potatoes gone. Yeah. I've had some not great pumpkin pies, I agree. But you have a good one that's good. I've had some really bad apple pies too. I feel like pecan is the one that never lets me down. Yeah. Emma, what do you think? I agree. If we're going to keep sweet potatoes in the savory portion of the meal, even though they're kind of sweet, then I think they got to go from dessert. Also,

I don't think I've ever, never elected for a sweet potato pie if there's other options. A sweet potato pie is our choice as far as what item is going to be exiled. I thought that was the last one. There's a bunch more. We'll just do one more. We'll do which bread has to go. This is a good one. I like this. This is hard. All right. Which bread has to go? This is hard. Which of these items must be exiled? We've got dinner rolls, we got crescent rolls, we got popovers, and we got buttermilk biscuits. All right. This is kind of easy for me just because I don't associate them with Thanksgiving as much. Yeah. And I think that they're a little too heavy for Thanksgiving is the buttermilk biscuits will

go. I love them. Don't get me wrong. Wow. But if this is a Thanksgiving dinner, the buttermilk biscuits are too heavy. You've got other food to eat. And they just, like the popovers and crescent rolls and dinner rolls to me are like lighter and I can shove them down my throat easier. Buttermilk biscuits are just a little too heavy. They got to go in this instance. Boy, Mitch, I bet a lot of our listeners south of the Mason Dixon line are tearing their hair out. Here in New Englander, decrying buttermilk biscuits. First Trump lost and now this. I am going to say of these, as far as not having an association with Thanksgiving for me, it's crescent rolls. I think the crescent rolls are what I'm taking and I'm tossing out of there.

Wow. And wait a minute. They're coming back because of their boomerang form factor. You got to duck. But I didn't duck in time. You ducked in time and they hit pumpkin head. Your grandfather was behind you. He's about to kill you. Oh, no. Gramps. Emma, what do you think? Which item has to be exiled here? I kind of agree. Oh, I agree with both of you. Biscuits feels like too heavy for Thanksgiving dinner. And we'd ever had crescent rolls. My mom always gets these whole wheat oatmeal rolls and they're a little sweet and they're the best thing in the world. So I always just want those. But I think I'm going to have to get rid of the biscuits. I think biscuits. Wow. Wow. Biscuits wins by majority and hey. Emma, good choice. That was which Thanksgiving food

must be banished? A new segment here on the podcast. Just like a restaurant, we value your feedback. Let's up another feedback. And hey, we have a voicemail today. I'm going to go ahead and share this in one second. Wow. Hey, Alex, Peter from Norway calling. I got a question for you. What's your favorite Norwegian food? I know you know of a bunch of them. Also, I got a podcast. Check it out. I love you guys. Burger boy for life. Peace. Wow. There's a lot in there. Burger boy. Yeah. I mean, he started out like a molasses boy level speaking and then he, he sped up to the micromachine guy level. Right. Yeah, you really, you really accelerated there. It was Peter from Norway asking our favorite Norwegian food. Do you have, do either of you

have anything that comes to mind when you think of the foods of Scandinavia? Hey, Emma, be sure to bleep out his podcast, podcast reference. Okay. Yeah. Sorry. No, they're podcast. No boys. Yeah. No, thank you. We saw what happened with the breadcast. Now we got a fucking, the sleeping giant awakened. You got a juggernaut we're competing with. Norwegian food, huh? Yes. I'm actually going to Google this. Don't they eat a lot of fish? I am Norwegian. My ancestors are Norwegian. My grandmother spoke Norwegian and I should know this and I just don't. I have some Norwegian heritage as well. You know what his question should have been? What? Name a Norwegian dish.

I know they eat, I know smoked salmon is like a common thing in Norway. Yeah. It's a, I mean, I just looked at a list of traditional Norwegian foods. Did you understand what any of it said? No, most of these I just never heard of. Here's a big thing in Norway, lamb, Norwegian lamb. I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking at a picture that comes up for traditional Norwegian food and it looks like a plate of bones. Yeah, I saw that as well. I don't know what's going on there. Is Norway where trolls are from? There's, I think there's just a bunch of ogres up there. It is, Norway is the troll, it's the troll country, isn't it? It's, I mean, it's either trolls or it's, it's some sort of mythical being is up there. Yeah, I think it's trouble. So that

explains the plate of bones, but. Right. This is so hard to even find a list of traditional Norwegian foods that's, it's easy to understand. Okay, here's one. What were we going to say, Emma? No, I was just reading another list and like, I know what lutefisk is. I don't know if I've ever eaten it, but I know it's just like a, it's like a cured fish, but it's cured in like salt and lye, which is. Yeah, I too have heard of lutefisk have not put it in my, in my body. Lefse is one, or lefse, traditional flatbreads for Christmas and holidays. So that's one option. Here's, here's, here's a flower potato and butter and milk batter. I got my favorite new Norwegian food. Belgian waffles.

There are tender potato dumplings called kumla. Known in my other names like crub club or club. So there you go. Lutefisk, as the Emma mentioned, is a gelatinous fish dish. God gelatinous fish, just like that sounds so gross. It really does sound revolting. I'm going to, I'm going to say it wrong, but pizza grandiosa. I saw, yeah, I saw that they, that's a brand they have there. Whale steak, famous junk food dish from whale meat. Yeah, I think whaling is still legal in Norway. Yeah, they don't give a shit. God, you sick fucks. See, my grandmother was Norwegian, but she was an awful cook, so. Wow. I don't think she ever made us anything traditional. Why, were you going to go at Norwegian people? I was just going

to say, Norway, fix your laws. Yeah, no shit. What's going on up there? Maybe, you know what, maybe you're the real trolls. Look in the mirror, you fucking whale eaters. Pickled herring. Pickled herring, I think is all right. Yeah, that sounds bad. Krumkake, which is a common sweet dessert dish, kind of looks like a waffle cone with some sweet cream inside, some fresh cream inside. And then the national dish of Norway is farikal, which is mutton or lamb, whole black pepper, cabbage, wheat flour, and potatoes in their jackets. It kind of looks like a, just a big old pot roast made with mutton or lamb. Like a stew kind of. Yeah, like a big stewed meat. And then I'm at the bottom of this list, and boy. The sod, or S-O-D-D sod, that looks pretty good.

Yeah, I would say, you know what, I'm going to say my favorite is also Belgian waffle. Yeah, I agree. Belgian waffles definitely wins. And then sod, look, it shows that we got to try, now the Troll Hunters are going to come after me because I made fun of Norway so much. The famous Troll Hunters? The famous Troll Hunters of Norway. Leave the Troll Hunting to me. But I'm going to say sod wags without trying it. It's a national dish. It looks good. Cool. I think Norway's super cold, isn't it? Like it's, it gets super cold up there. I think they're similar to Sweden where they like, I mean, I think traditionally they used to just like

pickle a lot of stuff. It was like all about preserving food in the few warm months so that you could live through the brutal, brutal winters. Yeah, you get those cold ass winters and also just like the super long nights. Yeah, I think that's the other thing you have to deal with. Depressing. The flatbread looks pretty good too. Hey, I'm into that. Let us know your favorite Norwegian foods if you have them. Hashtag Norway spelled W-E-I-G-H. And hey, if you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at doeboyspodcast.gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830.

I just want to quickly say that if whale meat is one of them, just don't bother responding, please. Yeah, don't put whale meat in there. Or leave us a voicemail at 830 Godot. That's 830-463-6844. And to get the Doe Boys Double, our weekly bonus episode, join the Golden or Platinum Plate Club at patreon.com slash doeboys. There you go. Mitch, all this talk of all these Thanksgiving sides is making me so hungry. Wow, are you gonna do anything about it? I think I'm gonna go have some Ludifisk. Hey, you know what I'd like to do? Eat Ludifisk with Ludacris. Ah, that's an episode. Per singer, if you're listening, get Ludacris Book. Yeah, you're fired. Oh, get Ludacris Books, and then you're fired. Yeah. That'll do for this episode of Doe Boys Double. Next time,

for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher, happy eating. See ya. On the next Doe Boys Double, it's the return of the mash-off. Friends of the show Eva Anderson and Mike Hanford join for a remote friendsgiving as we each prepare a different Thanksgiving course. Whose cuisine reigns supreme? We won't really know. Get the Doe Boys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash doeboys. Sources for this week's intro are in the episode description.