Doughboys - Boudin Bakery with The Sloppy Boys (LIVE)

Episode Date: February 6, 2020

The 'boys are joined by Mike Hanford, Jefferson Dutton, and Tim Kalpakis (The Sloppy Boys) to review SF based French style bakery, Boudin. Plus, a live edition of the Wiger Challenge. Recorded live at Cobb's Comedy Club for SF SketchFest.Sources for this week's into:There’s gold in them thar hills by Jonathan Jacksonhttps://finfeed.com/features/theres-gold-in-them-thar-hills/ The California Gold Rush, 1849 from EyeWitness to Historyhttp://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/californiagoldrush.htm The California Gold Rush from PBS American Experiencehttps://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/goldrush-california/ San Francisco 49ers Team Facts from the Pro Football Hall of Famehttps://www.profootballhof.com/teams/san-francisco-49ers/team-facts/ San Francisco Gold Rush Chronology 1846-1849http://www.sfmuseum.org/hist/chron1.htmlFisherman’s Wharf, Primed at Last for Makeover by Susan Swardhttps://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/26/us/26bcwharf.html San Francisco’s Boudin Bakery serves up a taste of history in each bite by Daniel Brownhttps://www.mercurynews.com/2015/11/23/san-franciscos-boudin-bakery-serves-up-a-taste-of-history-in-each-bite/ Boudin - Our Storyhttps://boudinbakery.com/our-story/Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Breaking chews! Our Seattle show has been moved to 10pm. That's 10pm, still Friday, February 7th, still at the Neptune Theatre. Previously purchased tickets will be honored. See you after dark, Seattleites. There's gold in them, their hills. This quote, best known as a catchphrase of hot-headed Looney Tunes prospector Yosemite Sam,

in fact has mostly forgotten historical roots. It was reportedly first said in 1849 by a Georgia government official in a plea to encourage locals to stay in the Peach State instead of packing up and moving to California in search of the glittering precious metal. Few cities are as strongly associated with the year as San Francisco is with 1849, when the discovery of gold ignited a population boom like a prospector's stick of dynamite. The year even inspired the name of the five-time and potentially six-time Super Bowl champion San Francisco 49ers. And as a gold star of migrant population moved to the Golden State, others flocked to the Bay Area to take advantage of the bubble, including Italian immigrants who wielded their able poles fishing off its docks,

which is how one San Francisco neighborhood became known as Fisherman's Wharf. And it was in Fisherman's Wharf where Isidore, an immigrant from Italy's continental and culinary rival France, founded a bakery that would become bread-central in a city whose signature starch is rice. The French bake shop, which Isidore gave his last name, popularized artisan sourdough in the Bay and across the country, and did the same for its indulgent offspring, the bread bowl. 170 years later, the French-founded Loaf Purveyor is San Francisco's oldest operating business. Today, Fisherman's Wharf is no longer a major fishery, it's a tourist attraction, as is the hybrid bread factory and restaurant that is the original of the chain's 30-odd locations.

And while the French pronunciation of the family name is closer to Boudin, locals say it the Anglicized Way, the American Way. This week on Doughboys, Boudin Bakery. Welcome to Doughboys Live! I'm Nick Walker. How you doing San Francisco? Guys, thanks for coming out on a Sunday night. We are ready to get going with a real dumb show, but before we go any further, this week's roast is courtesy of Miles Gotcher. Let me introduce my co-host, 49ers Titan George Skittle, the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell! Nice! What's up San Francisco?

It's a Sunday night, Wags, but I'm gonna try. I'm gonna give it a shot. Mitch just took three hard ciders out of his pockets. I assume they're just there, generally. I've pulled two of them out from under my man titties. What's up San Francisco? Congrats to the 49ers! Mitch wearing his usual combo of a Pat's Hat and a Celtic's Fleece. Mitch, how do you feel about this upcoming... As of this recording, the Super Bowl is coming up. And when this episode releases, the Super Bowl will have just happened. A new champion will have been crowned. What's the trophy called?

Wow, you're talking like a real Sporto right now. I'm a big-time Sporto, one of the biggest. What is it? Is it the Vince Lombardi Trophy? Yes. The Vince Lombardi Trophy may well have taken up residence right here in the Bay. Wow! They seem not to care that much. They're watching two fat guys review a clam chowder restaurant on a Sunday night. This isn't a sports crowd.

Speaking of fat guys, I don't know. I don't know who I'm going to root for yet, Wags. You don't know? I'm sorry, the chief's Andy Reid is a very fat, penguin-like man like myself. So in solidarity, I might have to root for him. I don't know yet. We'll see. You're not going to root 49ers. Wow. Fucking bullshit. I'm just saying that for the applause. Wags, it's funny. Upstairs, you know, this old comedy club,

you think about how 30, 40 years ago, in the bathroom, they were probably doing coke and partying, and instead we just have pre-show diarrhea in those bathrooms. Lots changed. Our carbon footprint is indefensible. We fly into a city. We're doing Doe Boy specifically. We fly into a city.

We Uber to a chain restaurant. And we gorge on red meat. When the climate trials happen, we will be putting a guillotine, both of us. You go guillotine. I've heard guillotine. Guillotine, I think, is an exception. Whatever that contraption is, it's going to take a few tries to get through this fucking neck of mine. It's not going to be easy.

They're going to have to build a new one to hold my head. It's not going to be easy. Fucking extra-large basket. Yeah. Fucking lawn trash can. It's the ones you use for yard work. You told me that you'd only root for the San Francisco 49ers if they changed their name to the 69ers.

Is that right? That's true. That's true. No, I mean, I don't follow the NFL. I guess I will say I had my heart broken by the Niners because I was an LA Rams fan as a boy. Then they moved to St. Louis, and that was a heartbreak of a different sort. But they got to the NFC Championship game. I thought my favorite player, wide receiver Henry Ellard,

would finally get to go to the big game. But no, they got blown out. It was like 48 to 3, the 49ers. And then they beat the Broncos like 55 to 10. It was one of those dominant Joe Montana teams. Hell yeah. You don't have any stake in that. You just liked that it upset a young me.

Yes. That rules. I wish I could go back. If I could go back in time for one thing, it would be to see you cry. Mitch, once again, you've got some of your friends here. Your colleagues. Yes. Your buddy.

Your buddy, Chankton is here. And Angelica is here. Hello, Chankton. Hello, Angelica. Thank you for coming out of the show. Margaret, too. They live up here in the Bay now. You see them out here when we come over.

Yeah. Are they here or did they not even make it yet? Oh, you're right here. They are here. All right. We had an incident because we had to get, you were like, hey, my friend, Chankton needs to get into the show to put him on the guest list. And Emma and I had a text message conversation with you.

We were like, hey, what's Chankton's real name? That is true. I would love it if it said Chankton on his driver's license. But Chankton doesn't say Chankton on your driver's license. His driver's license has been taken away. But you've been up here in San Francisco the whole weekend, your sketch group, The Birthday Boys. We did a show last night.

Did a show last night. Anyone had The Birthday Boys last night? People saw that show. People went? You went to the show last night? Should have fucking cheered louder. Oh, I got to play a how to how to San Francisco. There we go.

I got to play a little drop. Hit it. It's Cork, Cork, Cork, Cork, Cork, Cork, Cork, Cork, Cork, Cork. Keddy? Or Keddy? How do you say it? Or Keddy? Or Keddy?

Or Keddy? I don't know what you're trying to say. Or what? What is it? What are you trying to say? Or Keddy. Or I don't know how to spell it. Or Keddy?

Or Keddy? Or the pasta. Or Keddy? Or Keddy? Or Keddy? The pasta. I don't know what you're talking about. I mean, it's fine to kiss kids.

Whatever you want to show, however you want to show affection to your family. That's on you at the end there. It never gets any easier playing one of those stupid things. Hi, Mitch. Resubmitting this drop for the live show because I'm in the audience and I want to hear it. Thanks for coming to Ohio. Oops. Saker from It's All Been Done, a bear naked ladies podcast.

Oh, how about that? Nice guy. I'm sorry. You got played at a live show? You're just a classic dope. Fuck you. There's that Doughboys banner everyone loved. I want to mention, so we have, apparently there's a water sponsor for SF sketch fest.

And this is not branded content that the Doughboys can't be bought, but this water up here is, it's like a tall boy of just water. It looks like a brood dog, but it's water, apparently. It's called liquid death, mountain water, tagline, murder your thirst. This frosty can of pristine Austrian mountain water won't just refresh your body. It will murder your thirst. I feel like if you're an Austrian company, maybe lay off the murder threats. It's a little intense, a little loaded there.

Lean into it. Why not? You saw liquid death and you ran into the green room and you just chugged one of these. Finally, sweet release. But Mitch, you've been up here all week. I came up here on Saturday, not all weekend. I thought you came up here earlier. No, I came on Saturday.

Okay, then never mind. I thought you'd have more to discuss. I thought you'd maybe gotten up to some Tom Foolery here in the city by the way. Oh yes, I was running around causing Tom Foolery. What the fuck are you talking about? Like you went to some, some merryments, some mischief making. Like you went out there and you had a, you painted the town red. What do you think of me as a human being?

I think that you're the kind of guy who likes to maybe tie one on, maybe have a little party. I think I'm like a little puck from Midsummer's Night Dream running around. No, I was, just because I used that language, I wasn't thinking of like run around a maypole or something. I expect you to go and do the normal things that people go when they go to, when they go to a different city. Like you'd socialize with some friends, you go to a bar, you go to a restaurant. Anything notable happened to you? No, I flew in. We did the birthday boy show.

I ate a 14-inch burrito, which made me feel very unmanly. Too big and then we did the show and I went to bed. I wanted to go to Sam's Burgers. I always get a burger from Sam's Pizza and Burgers. Lovely spot. I've taken you there once. You took me and Gabriel's there. We had a lovely time.

Yeah, but we just went back to Ferguson's hotel room. We sat in Ferguson's bed and we all just hung out in Ferguson's room for real. Isn't aging like just so fucking dull? Yes. I don't want to talk about it. It sucks. Yeah. Just like, this is what, this is it, I guess.

Just so we can go a place and then like just sit here for a little bit. That's it. That's my life. I'm just sitting in different places. I know. Let's introduce our guests. Dear God. They were like an excited audience.

They're having fun. It's sunk cost. You can always just feel the moment when sunk cost fallacy sits in. And they're just like, well, I paid 25 bucks for this ticket. I guess I'd better sit here for 90 minutes and watch this bullshit. Whoa. Okay. More.

Okay. More people are saying. Well fuck, sorry. We don't set the ticket prices. Mitch. I do. Wait, you do? To Ching.

Raise it up, baby. Sketch fest prices. Let's introduce our guests. A party rock band comprised of three members of the sketch group, The Birthday Boys. Their album, Lifelong Vacation is available now. Give it up for Jeff Dutton, Mike Hanford and Tim Cowback as The Sloppy Boys. Wow. What's everybody doing?

All right. Give it up for their video too. A guy's got a sneak peek of their fucking new video. Very cool video. We showed to the live audience here. We have a lot of business to discuss with you guys. We went to a restaurant. We spent a lot of time there.

But first things first. And I didn't talk to you backstage if this was the thing you wanted to disclose or get into on stage. But you had a little bit of a dust up. You got yourself in a little bit of a scrape. I did. Talk us through what happened. All right. So I'm in my shower.

In the hotel. Jacking off. Jacking off. No, I was brushing my teeth. Brushing your teeth in the shower? I knew that was coming. Lager, that seems like something you'd have tried before. No.

It's efficient. It's very efficient. Yeah, it gets the job done. Can I finish? Talk to Mitch and Lager, they're running. Sounds like Ross Perot. Can I finish? Can I finish?

And so I finished brushing my teeth. And I'm a bit of a, not a germaphobe. I didn't want to put it somewhere weird in the shower. So I said, I'll reach and I can put it on the sink. And I couldn't. And as I was reaching around the corner of the shower, I slipped and fell on my rib cage on the corner of the tub. And I fractured a bit of a rib and also a bit of my foot. You may have noticed that he walked out with a boot.

He's got a big boot on his foot. Now I heard that. I heard that you. I was told that you stepped on a bar of soap and you slipped out of your room down the hallway and outside the hotel. He did a lap around the Kimpton Buchanan Hotel. He went by all our rooms and we all with shower caps on. There he goes. Also, these two told me for real that you got a rib removed so you could suck your dick.

And balls. Well, you got the balls removed or you want to suck his balls? Two ribs. The second rib was so he could lick his balls. Jeff, is this true? That's when I get back to LA. I have that sort of thing done. I'm getting some added. You can have one of mine. So you can go around the back way.

There's no other way to do it. You need a ribs. But nobody's done that. Nobody's ever brushed their teeth in the shower. I do it as well. I've heard of this. It's not a normal thing, but like I don't think there's anything so weird about it. You brush your teeth, brush your pubes, do whatever you want to do in there. Shower brushers out there.

Hashtag scrub brush. That sucks. They didn't like the hashtag. That's why I didn't get the reaction. What do you got? What do you call it? Scrub brush? Hashtag scrub brush.

You're brushing and you're scrubbing. How about hashtag rub a dub dub teeth in the tub? Yeah. Damn. That's how you hashtag, my friend. I know what I've been bested. I've heard about this, and I've heard it's like a thing. The way it was described to me is that the logic behind it is it's like,

oh, I like showering, and so I'll brush my teeth. No, what? Someone told me that. Because showering is fun, I get to have a little bit more fun time in the shower. This is insane. You taught you an insane person. Okay. Well, it's an insane person we all know.

Who? Dave Ferguson. Oh. Dave Ferguson. Ferguson would say showering is fun. That's the funnest thing you could think of. It's an efficiency thing. It's an efficiency thing.

You clean everything else in the shower. Why are your teeth so special? You got to stand up in front of a special mirror and do it. Agreed. I agree. I feel the same way about dentists. You go to the doctor or everything else and you got to go to this fucking special mouth doctor for your mouth bones.

Yeah, fuck dentists. There's a dentist in here tonight. Get the fuck out of here. Is there a dentist here tonight? Good. What a dear show up here. They know to stay away. They're disgusted by the premise of the show.

You ever use Dr. Bronner, like 18 in one soap? Only when I used to shower in your shower. It's great. I used to use that for everything because all the uses brush the teeth, shampoo the hair, do your laundry. Really? All with the same bottle. Wait, what?

Yeah. You know that that spicy peppermint stuff. It does everything. You put your you put your toothpaste into the laundry. It was more than it was so it was weirder than it was going in my mouth. It wasn't like Colgate going into a washing machine. That would be weird. And so it is.

But it is. It's an old purpose. You've seen Dr. Bronner's. It's it's like a tall bottle and it's got all sorts of pseudo religious ramblings on it. I like that. Go on. And you use it for anything.

I had no idea. That's crazy. Old purpose watch. I like that. It's great. It's really spicy too. It burns your skin. Oh.

Sounds unpleasant. Another thing like this coconut oil. You can do whatever you want with that. I know some coconut oil advocates. Nally's like my lovely wife Nally will use her coconut oil in all different ways. So yeah. Oh. Calm down.

Everyone calm down. She oils herself up so she can slip away from you. So you guys. The the Doughboys are weird. Fuck. We're the Doughboys. You guys. The birthday boys.

Had a show last night. You forgot. You forgot. We're the Doughboys. Too many boys going on these days. Also. We're too old. We should be.

We need to be men. We're going to change the podcast. The Doughmen. We should be. We should be Doughmen. All right. Fine. From here on out.

The podcast is called Doughmen. Are you. Do you agree to that change? I don't know if I like. I feel like then the Dough is also infantilizing. I think maybe just men. The podcast is called Men. Yeah.

Men. Doughboys become men. What about bread men or something? Bread men is pretty good. Yeah. Dough becomes bread. Yeah. All right.

We'll think about it. Bread men I think I might get on board with bread men. You guys have been up in. You guys. I know you got up here on Friday. So you spent a little bit of extra time in the Bay. We've all been to the Bay on a number of occasions. Largely for the lovely sketch fest festival which happens every

January. But do you guys have any favorites from this visit or previous visits in terms of Bay area eateries place we. Oh yeah. Well this we got some classics that we didn't even get to because we love the Tonga room. Love the. Yeah baby.

The rain in the Tonga room. We love the house and in King. Oh no. Okay. Yeah. Wow. That place you know we don't look at the menu. We come in we say we're hungry and they just keep the food

coming. And then yeah the waiter looks very nervous. How hungry you threatening us. And this trip I brought these guys to the Tattage Grill. Wow. Okay. That one's new to me. What is that?

Oh a hundred and seventy one years old a seafood restaurant. You know shrimp cocktail like really old waiters. They're all dressed like scientists. Yeah. They are white lab coats. And we kind of sat in what felt like a train car. Yeah. It was a little booth.

It was a little like wooden booth we got to be in there by ourselves. We felt like Don Draper himself. Yeah. Wow. Our waiter was very curt but in a charming way. I love that. I also didn't have like we ordered I ordered a artichoke and

they didn't have it. You ordered something. It's like we don't have that. They don't have anything really. Yeah. It was a terrible time. Yeah. No it was great.

What they did have was delicious and fresh. Yeah. What he could round up in the bag was fine. Yeah. I had a crab and shrimp like casserole. Ugh. That sounds fucking gross. It does sound gross.

It does sound gross. It was like a bunch of it was like a bunch of seafood and cheese and rice all cooked up. That's disgusting. No. They put some hot caramel on top. Yeah. And also you want to eat a whole one before you get on stage.

I you guys are talking about them being out of something. I had an insane experience at a place we ordered lunch for from for work this past week and it was it was a deli and that we ordered some bunch of us ordered turkey based items as you would from a deli and they said we no longer carry turkey. Wow. They discontinued turkey at a deli. Wow.

What kind of on what grounds? It's tripped a van probably. Is that what it is? You think? Did you just get the olive loaf and call it a day? So I was going to say we were talking about this some some various eateries twice. Do you have any spots you like to go to?

Oh boy, I do. I didn't get to go to any today because I flew up this morning and I'm flying back tomorrow morning. Wow. Really love the city. It's the way you want to see San Francisco. You go to Alcatraz every time you you come right for the for the listener who's not here to why you're still wearing his

backpack. He's not taking that. He's going right to the plane. It's a lovely city. I had some work obligations that precluded me spending more time here. Unfortunately, I would have liked to have been here more. All right, fine.

But on previous occasions, my lovely wife Natalie who I mentioned, she she went to coconut oil. All right, take it easy. Calm down. She went to UC Berkeley so she knows the she spent some time in the bay taking me to a few different places up here. We've got some places together. There's a Mediterranean restaurant that has a few branches

Le Med that we've been to. That's a lot. That's a lot of fun. There's this little sandwich shop that has bond me that we went to those just like as close to a literal hole in the wall as you could. You could get called Saigon sandwich here. Oh, my.

Wow. That's the biggest pop of the night. What a delightful bond. It was great. It was like two employees and they're like no seating area. It was just you walk in and they're just, you know, yelling at you to make you a sandwich and it's fucking delightful. Why do you like all this yelling?

Why do you like? Why do you like a mean waiter? I like being scolded by a food service employee. Because at some level, I know they're better than me. They're contributing more to society than I am. What am I doing? It seems kind of erotic in some way. It seems like you're getting off on this is what I'm trying to say.

I'm fucking going home and pounding off thinking about a fucking mean waiter. Do you have interest from Mel's yelling at me for wanting my eggs poached? Yes. Yes, I do. All right. Well, maybe. Now, Lee, I'm going to need some coconut oil.

We went to a Cambodian restaurant last time up here called Numbai. I think it in Oakland. Wow. This is fucking great. So, so good. A ton of great food city up here. But we went to a, and a fairly, I guess iconic, I guess when people,

I guess iconic in the sense that people outside of San Francisco perceive this as part of San Francisco's identity. We went to Boudin to review it for this, this episode of the podcast. So the location we went to was the Fisherman's Wharf original, which is, if you're not from San Francisco, it's a super duper touristy. The location is across the street from a wax museum and a Ripley's believe it or not. That kind of fucking like just the worst fucking part of any town is right

across the street from the Ripley's believe it or not. Weigher walked in there and people started going up and taking pictures of them. So the, a lot of Boudins are like little standalone, you know, they're like, they're like little bakery cafes. This one is a combo store slash museum slash cafe. It's got one of those inside of it. And they're also a nicer restaurant that's upstairs. And that's where you guys set up shop.

Well, you're waiting for me to get into town. That's right. And, oh wait, there was a, there was a, there was a piece of merch that we noticed there. Calpacus, you said, you said as a pig. Oh yeah. It was, this, you mean the thing that was fucking hilarious? It was very funny.

It said, keep calm and eat sourdough. So we were cracking up over that. We lost our shit on a coffee mug. I mean, what more do you want? I think we were still laughing when you got there, which was about 45 minutes later. It's, this location is the home of what's known as the mother dough. That's right. Which sounds like we would find out that we're half brothers and then.

From the mother dough? Yeah, from the mother dough. I was trying to get the mother dough's number at the end of the reveal. It's like a sourdough starter that has existed since the 19th century that they continue to make new loaves. We got to fucking steal that shit. I'm telling you. You and I, if you and I fucking stole the mother dough, it would be cool.

Did you make a heist movie? Yeah. It's right there in the fridge. You can see it. You're very close to it. I think it literally is locked behind a vault. I think it literally is like you have, I mean, we could get, we could try to steal it. I bet if we tried to steal it, they'd be like.

There was a door that just said the mother dough. That's true. Did you see that? Yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty conspicuous. They're telling you where the fuck, where it fucking is. There's a big museum and we were walking through like this museum is lamb as hell. And we got to the other side where they were like making bread. And then we looked through the windows and we saw a wager taking pictures like every

second of the museum. Wide-eyed mind blown crying. There were tears coming down his face. I was like, geez, sorry for having fun in a sourdough museum by myself. I guess that's weird for some people. There's like a, there's a timeline and I looked at the timeline and there were lyrics to Going to California by Led Zeppelin on it. And I was like, what does this have to do with bread in any way?

I think the original lyrics at the very end of that song, he said, for bread. They ran out of tape. Yeah. Because it was analog tape. These days we have Pro Tools and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah, sure. I took a pic of a sign. Let's see if I can pull it up real quick.

At the, at that, wait, hold on. Let's see. It's the Mother Dough Vault. That was not it. It was, someone had put written, okay, here we go. These were lyrics to a song. It's called, oh god, this phone is befuddling me. Song for the Bakers by Enoch George Adams circa 1884.

Sing it. Full, I don't know the tune. Full 18 hours under the ground, toiling and making bread. Shut off from air and light and sound. Are we alive or dead? Are we men with thought and restless will? Or are we but batches of dough that take their shape from the pan they fill? Is what I'd like to know.

Fuck. That's a good song. So fucking grim. They seem slightly less depressed than you. What a horrid time. Yeah, I know. We kept bakers and caves back in the day. 18 hours in a windowless room just inhaling wheat flour.

It's got to be so fucking brutal. Fucking sign me up. We went to, so Bistro Boudin is what the upstairs thing is called. Obviously San Francisco is maybe the most expensive city in the U.S. It's like a food cut. She's so proud. Okay, thank you. Second.

Who's number one? New York. New York's still number one. But the, a very expensive city and that extends obviously to food. Just to put into perspective exactly what you're dealing with at Bistro Boudin. This is like fine dining prices, but they have a Dungeonous Crab Omelet there for $25. $25 for an omelet. That's a lot.

That's expensive ass omelet. I need to see the omelet before we get all mad. Is it a big omelet? Is it huge? $25 for a giant omelet. It's fun. It was described as a three egg omelet, but it did have Dungeonous Crab, which I assume is where the high price comes from.

But you're paying a premium for the location and fucking whatever. We started off with some drinks. Now you guys ordered something. Eggs are about $8.50 per egg, right? I haven't been to the grocery store in a long time, but I assume $8.50 per egg sounds right. This is like a Tom Steyer campaign flub. We got some... You guys, before I got there, got some oyster shooters.

Oh yeah, baby. Describe exactly what we're dealing with. They come out and syringes. You shoot them right into your arm. Ooh, I shouldn't make that joke here. I forgot about that. Dear God, I'm truly just panicked. You're fine.

They're fucking shot glasses with Bloody Mary and a fucking big oyster at the bottom of them. Who did it in one? Did you do it in one go? I didn't want one. I did a little sipping first. Sipping, I think, is the way to go after having gulped down that oyster. After having done it and you chug a big chunk of liquid and then a big fucking blob falls into your mouth. Yeah.

You guys weren't chewing them either, right? It's like when you take a drink from a glass of ice. From a glass of ice. What are you doing over here, Barbies? Sometimes you take a drink and you get the ice shoot down your throat. Oh, yeah. Balances, balances, and then you get the ice down the throat. It was like that, but a big mucusy oyster.

Yes. And the oyster was kind of warm. It was a little warm, yeah. But to be fair, we requested it to be warm. We brought a meat thermometer and like, yes, 94 degrees. They were not, they weren't the fun start to the day that I thought they would be. Sure. And you said start to the day and I know that you got there at 3.30 p.m.

I've been to this city 15 times. What am I supposed to do? Also, Mitch, I expected you to make more of a meal of the fact that you got to the restaurant 45 minutes before. Yeah, no shit. You late fuck? First off, yes, I was late for the original 3.30 reservation. I thought it was 3.00 p.m. Because of the travel details.

No, it was 3.30. Oh. I have documentation and text messages and I have to read it back. Put it up on the screen back. I'll find the text. I also have a Google, you have not joined the Doe Boys Google Calendar yet. It's complicated. What?

It's been up and running for a couple years. It's very helpful. I did text them the other day. I was like, hey, I have these separate so dates. Are these okay? And you're like, I'll look it up for you. Like a mother. Thank you, Weiger.

I appreciate it. You're like mother, though. You know that? Oh, I'll take the compliment. Yesterday, 2.05 p.m. From Nick Weiger. Can we do 3.30 p.m. tomorrow at the original Fisherman's Wharf location and the address was included. Liked by Jefferson Dutton and Tim Calpakis.

Yeah. Nice. Mike Mitchell replies, yeah. It's okay. I was talking about something else. Did I not respond at all? No, you replied, yep. But a little later.

But it's fine. It's not a big deal. I was still late to the original time. I'm just saying that I wasn't as late as you thought because you were early because you didn't know what time it was supposed to start. Okay, that might be true. But we got in there. We got to see the bread. There's there's little baskets of bread.

I honestly thought there was some sort of you know the game mousetrap. Yeah, I thought it was basically a mousetrap set up for me. A ball rolled down the stairs hit a pole and a cage came over me and you were going to do the dive like the little diving guy. But there's there's a basket of bread. There's like baskets of bread that I think are just show bread. It's weird. It's like a droid factory. There's just like these little sci-fi you know fucking bread baskets that are there up in the sky.

They're like up in the air. They're like a droid factory. That's what it evoked for me. I was like this is like droids being assembled in an attack of the clones. This is like the kind of thing that I would see. Okay, fair. I agree with you. A factory with genosis.

Yeah. We're on the same page. But yeah. What tambour is in the back doing some business. We know what's up. People do not know what tambour. We went upstairs. It was a working kitchen, which is kind of cool to say.

Yeah. And there's there's also a there's a funny thing in that museum where it's like San Francisco fog and then there's this thing that's just a shooting fog out. It's just got like a smoke machine. You smoke fog at you. So what am I supposed to be experiencing here? I know fog conceptually. It's not unique. Yeah.

What is that? It's just to run your hand through it. I thought that was fun. That was kind of fun. That was kind of nice. You know what? I like the fog. Yeah.

The fog was great. Did you see the Zoetrope machine? No. Where was that? That was fun. It was just that big cylinder that was spinning around and you could watch. You look through the little slit. Oh, I didn't realize there's anything in the slits.

Like a horse running or what was it? No, it was a baker putting a loaf of bread in the oven. That makes more sense. Pulling it out and then kind of dancing. And then below it was a guy panning for gold pulling it out and then he danced. Oh, that's fine. And it was the best movie I've ever seen. Oh, wow.

Everett was asking me. Best two movies. I consider those two movies. You were asking me if it was still eligible for this year's Academy Awards. And you were like, I don't think so. What can you call them? Can you call Oscars? Here's my take on oyster shooters.

Just give me a oyster. Like, why do I want to have this fucking weird drink? Just give me an oyster. To be fair, you can also get oysters. It's not like shooters or nothing, buddy. Did they say that when you walked in? The guy said shooters or nothing. Go upstairs.

I think they yelled shooter when you ran in. Shooter. Everyone under the tables. You know what I mean? It's like, why do I need that extra stuff? Just give me the fucking regular thing. Other drinks that I chronicle that you guys got. Irish coffee, Mai Thai, Boudin Bloody.

They're taking a Bloody Mary, obviously. And I got myself a Bistro Sidecar, which was a lot of fun. Wait, no, I didn't. What is that? Sidecar. Yeah, you got the Sidecar. Did I get the Sidecar? Uh-oh.

Was it like a martini glass with sugar around it? That is. I did get the Sidecar. Clearly not your first drink of the day. I mean, correct. The other one was solo, I guess. I think the, yeah, I mean, it was good. It was, it had some like a marmalade in it.

Paddington would approve. And it was a, you know, some nice sweetness, very drinkable, not overly sweet as a fine cocktail. Paddington approved. They should put that on the menu. That's great. It was very, it looked, the marmalade and the sugar glasses seemed a very sugary drink for you.

Well, I don't think it needed the sugar rim. I feel like sugar rims in general, I don't need. Are you serious that there was actual marmalade in it? It was like mixed. No, the menu description had marmalade. There was marmalade in there. Really? Yeah.

And it kind of thickened it a little bit. I think of like chunky jelly. I think they just stirred the hell out of it. Nasty. I agree. It kind of worked for me. We have my, I had the mites. I was pretty good.

It was kind of strong. I felt like all the cocktails were pretty strong. That shooter was fucking strong as hell. Yeah. I think just Bloody Mary's aren't meant to be shot at all. Yeah, that's true. I got my Bloody Mary was stupid because it was really redundant after the oyster shooter to be then having the same drink

without the oyster flopping in my throat. It was just ice hit me. A celery stick hit you in the face. I had a nice big celery stick and I felt like Brad Pitt. He said this. I felt exactly like the character. And we all said, in what way? Well, we all said, I didn't know you look like Brad Pitt.

That's what I meant. Oh, and once upon a time in Hollywood, he has a big celery stock and he, when he's having a Bloody Mary, go back and rewatch it. It's just like me earlier today. I like the idea of people going back and watching it tonight and be like, holy shit. He would take it and it's blown my mind. Screenshot it, tweet it at me.

So let's get into our, or any other. You know what I think? Yeah. Keep veggies out of my fucking drink. Really? Yeah. Seems like that's been sort of your M over a while. Yeah.

Come on with Eric. Fun here. You bring me on the show. I got to say that. You brought him on the show on the show. Oh, you get car. Blanche. Call me a fatty.

I didn't say that. I didn't say that. Well, I am a fatty and I want fucking veggies out of my drinks. A cherry and fruit is fine. I had a few cherries, three cherries in my Manhattan there. Yeah. The big thing is celery. I like it.

No, I like the fucking tomato-based cocktail. This is a dumb question. Celery is a fruit, right? He's having fun. Celery is a Brad Pitt movie prop. The farmer was like, we got to grow some props for that Hollywood movie. Do you like it when a Bloody Mary has all the dumb shit like, oh, we put a slider and we piled all a whole onion ring on there.

Not only do I love it, I just recently fell for it in Wisconsin. There was a drink that was like a burger slider and fucking a hot dog and shit all in the and I loved it. It was amazing. So you don't like veggies, but you're fine with just like extra meat. Here's why it doesn't count as a meal if it comes in the drink. Nice loophole. So if mother asks, I only had, this is what I had for a meal.

And then all the thing in the drink that doesn't count. Yeah, this pork shank was a garnish. So let's get into the food. We got an Arctic char ceviche. That's right. This is ceviche on sourdough crisps with avocado mousse. It was guacamole. You don't call it avocado mousse.

Come on. I think it was avocado mousse. Grapefruit and balsamic drizzle. I had one, you know, it was, when I got there, again, I was late. I got a little, it was close to room temp, so it wasn't ideal ceviche, but it was fine. Can I just say that I would rather they just say balsamic instead of balsamic drizzle? You don't like the word drizzle.

I think drizzle is gross sounding. What? Does it make you think of something? Snoop Dogg. Mmm. Is that it? No, I like Snoop Dogg. The word drizzle is weird.

Why? Because they're drizzling. They're not that. They're just putting. You know what? You know what? I'm thinking of come. It wasn't jack.

I'm thinking of come. I am. I'm also like, this is just making me speculate about you. Like, oh God, I'm going to drizzle. Get that coconut oil away from me. I like it rough. Wow, I should have said that. Oh, shit.

I'm going to drizzle. That's really good and true. Yeah. No, it makes me think of come. It shouldn't be called a balsamic drizzle. It's just some balsamic on there. Yeah. I mean, I'm with you.

So it's weird. Call it a vinaigrette or something. Thank you. Don't put it on there at all. It didn't need that. It didn't need balsamic. It definitely didn't need that dressing. Yeah.

I don't think that that didn't do it. Maybe maybe the most overused fucking condiment of the 2000 and 10s. It's like boy. Wow. Great take. I like this take. Too much.

You guys are behind me. You fucking. Oh, you love balsamic. You safer. Just go freaks. I'm with you balsamic. You can stay in the 2010s with Sriracha. Just got kind of a little played out.

Yeah. Let's have some new condiments in 2020. Oh, someone's pulling us. But I'm saying it got played out. That guy has a whole cup of balsamic at his table. It's disgusting. In a bread bowl. Any other thoughts on that?

Saviche, any any advocates, any detractors? I felt like we were trying to share it and I didn't get enough to even have any taste in my bite. It feels like it should be more shareable. They were kind of on individual chips, but it wasn't distributed. That could be my fault. I took the first round of that. Arrived in a tower stacked up and then we deconstructed it.

I kind of knocked that tower over. Yeah. Honestly, all the apps were kind of like, this happens with a lot of like nicer restaurants, I guess. And maybe this is one of those trying. It's definitely a 10. It's definitely in that price category. It's a restaurant.

But like the meatballs were three meatballs. The shrimp was six shrimps. So it's like we each got to have one or half of whatever appetizer showed up. And these apps are between $15 and $20. The three meatballs specifically was fucking bullshit. Yeah. It's tough to kind of get a real enjoyment out of that. So the Peruvian meatballs, beef meatballs with pankacilli sauce,

cilantro, watermelon, radish and crema. These are fucking wack. I was like, what am I doing here? Clean. So tiny. What do you think the Peruvian connection, is that for real or they were just trying to do a fusion thing? I have no idea what the Peruvian connection is.

I walked by the kitchen and they had the door open and they were like, all right, roll them in. They're rolling these things in from Peruvia. From Peruvia? From Peruvia? Yeah. No. Peruvia.

Peruvia. That is amazing that it was really from Peruvia. Well, I was so amazed because I was like, what the hell is Peruvia? Yeah. And I went back and I said, guys, I show me on a map where these are coming from. I think it's Peru. So we don't think the rolling meatballs is weird at all, but the fake country is very weird. And so you saw them rolling the meatballs in and you just knew immediately it was from

Peruvia? How did this happen? They were saying like, oh yeah, these just came from Peruvia. They were saying that. I was like, I don't think I should be back here. It's kind of the buzz around the scene. Well, anyways, we got our answer. They're real Peruvian meatballs.

Yes. Great. Good to know. Yeah, I just didn't do anything for me. Not a lot of seasoning there. They were fine. The shrimp cocktail, you know, I've had better shrimp cocktails. I didn't think we should have even ordered a shrimp cocktail.

It's kind of a boring thing, don't you think? All right, can I blame it on someone? Yeah. I blame Van Arts Dillon. He ate with us. No, no, no. I forgot to mention Chris Van Arts Dillon was there. I seconded for the birthday boys.

All right, who also designed the lovely Dope Boys logo. Yeah. And he directed the video that we just showed you. Yeah. He did a good job. And for all that work, we let him have lunch with us today. He said, you can order one thing. Can I have the shrimp cocktail?

And we're going to talk shit about it on the platform. He fucking ruined it all for us, the shrimp cocktail. We should have gotten Calamari, I say. I think a shrimp cocktail is a fine baseline order to sort of see the, like, baseline competency of, this is just like a standard app. Let's see if you can pull this off. It's fine. It's like onion rings.

It's just a basic app. Again, I think it was fine. Yeah. It's just, you know, whatever. I thought it was actually fine. I thought it was pretty good. There's a lateral move, shrimp cocktail to, what's the thing you said? The Calamari.

Yeah, Calamari, yeah. No, but we're going to have more fun with dipping Calamari in the marinara. Come on, Jefferson. Come on, Jeff. I dipped my thing in the other thing. Oh, the cocktail sauce. He's right. Oh, he's right.

There is a dip for that too. He's right. I find Calamari grim because you sometimes get those little ones that have like, that are just like, are those babies, right? They say the buttholes thing. The butthole thing. Yeah. That's the other thing.

I like the spidery ones. I don't like the spidery ones. What are those babies? Are those baby squid? They look like, yeah, they're like Ursula from Little Mermaid. Yeah. I find, anytime I'm eating, and I guess this extends a shrimp cocktail, but anytime I'm eating an entire life form in a bite, it makes me feel monstrous.

It's like something an ogre would do. It's funny because it makes me feel powerful. Yeah. Like langostino shrimp, those tiny little guys. You can eat entire colonies. It's great. Yeah. I feel like Galactus.

I've seen Mitch take some of those little squid things and line them up and really berate them and then march them into his mouth. I have told Weigar that we used to race lobsters. Yeah. Back in Quincy when I was a boy. Really? Yeah, we'd line them up. I'd get on top of one and my sister would get on top of another one.

We'd race them around the house. No, you would race them. And the winner usually went in the pot first was the sad thing about it. The winner. Yeah. So you're not delay like they don't get there. They just get their death sentence sooner. Well, the other ones, the ones who didn't win, we kind of put into like a saw scenario.

I got myself an herb green salad, organic greens, cherry tomatoes, our black pepper, shallot vinaigrette. So vinaigrette is in their vocab. Can I say, I'm going to say something. Go ahead. I'm just going to say the salad was, it was, I mean, it was one of the better things that we had. Bad news San Francisco.

Second best dish of the day was the salad. You had some? Yeah, it was delicious. The only, I mean, the produce was fresh. It was very simple, but it was, you know, it was refreshing. It was a welcome bow salad. I do think it was maybe a tinge overdressed, but it was overall pretty good. Good salad.

Solid, solid restaurant salad. And then we get into our mains and the big one, the big boy here, the one that they have at the cafe that is kind of their signature, the Boudin sourdough bread bowl comes with a clam chowder or crab and corn bisque. You can also go petite, which I would advise anyone who is considering ordering this to go petite. Yeah, I did that. Because it just is, you're just deciding how much bread you're going to throw away.

Yeah. And petite, it's just less wasteful, but I got the big boy and it's a fucking whole bunch of bread. It's like a whole sourdough fucking orb. It's like the half of a basketball. It's too much. Yeah. And then they give you the top of it too.

Like they take the, what they cut out. They cut it. Yeah. And they give that to dip, I guess, but the whole thing you dip, it's already dip. I do kind of like the whole bowl is dip and it's just, I do kind of like dip in that top. Yeah. It is funny. You see the factory, you see the bregget made and then it goes on your plate and then you

throw in the trash. At least send it somewhere to be made into croutons and Tim, Tim, you, you tried a little hack with that bowl, didn't you? That's right. I went side by side, the half and half crab, bisque, crab and corn bisque on one half, the other half, clam chowder. And I don't know how they did it. We thought maybe they'd put it like a thin slice of bread between the soups and they

didn't. They just haphazardly threw them together. They just laled them in. They stayed separate. It was like oil and water. They just wouldn't go together. Yeah. And I tried to mix them.

It just. That was, that was kind of, how do you think they did that? I think it's a density thing. I think you're right. Yeah. They could have put them in kind of cold and congealed and then heated up the whole. Oh, interesting. But the bread wasn't warm.

How did they fucking do this? So this is a magic trick they pull off at California Pizza Kitchen and I, when I've seen them do it, they have a little divider and they're pouring them into that divider and then they remove the divider and because again, they have different densities, they kind of stay isolated. This, this felt like they just kind of poured them in at the same time from different sides and just hope for the best. And it worked out.

Did they, did they like mix together as you ate it? No. I ate all of the clam chowder and then the crab bisque was just piled up on itself. There's a liquid wall. Then I went to the bathroom for like an hour, came back and said time for my bisque and I worked my way down. You know what's weird? Now think about it.

I don't think I eat any of the bread because the soup was so filling that I didn't even pull off any of the sides. That's what you do is you just scrape the inside. Yeah. You wait for the moisture to get into the bread. You just scrape. That was good. It was yummy.

But I thought I would be tearing it apart like a tostada. I did a little bit, but I just to like try it. You dirty dog. And I did a lot of lid dipping, which I enjoyed. I, yeah, I got like the stuff from the inside like Jeff did and I got like a hole in the bottom and as I was picking it up to like, you know, do a bit about like looking at you guys through it, the waiter came, came right over as I was picking up. She's like, oh, you're still eating.

I was like, I just want to look at it. My friends through it. She's like, why, why do you want to do that? Because I think it's cool and I'm cool. She said, why do you go back to Peruvia? I said, I'm a little confused. I will say, and wait, so someone had the observation, I think, communicated to you guys something about the clam chowder that proved to be true.

Oh, yes. Oh, it might be. Somebody at either the sloppy or birthday boy show recommended if you, and they're here, I think. They said, if you go to Boudin and you get the staples like the clam chowder, they said, you have to go salt and pepper. If you get a normal menu item, you're fine. But if you get kind of the more famous things, you got to be ready to go apeshit with the

salt and pepper. And I remembered right after I finished my bread bowl. And then you did a big chaser of salt, right? Yeah, yeah. And mixed it all up. And another oyster. Is that person here? Yeah.

They said, they said, yeah, very sad. They didn't even remember my drink, drenched in salt and pepper. Can I talk about the clam chowder for a second? Yes, please. Good. It was bad. And as a New England clam chowder, you're a New Englander. I'm a New England man.

That's true. You can speak to it. In Boston, is there the iconic one that you get? Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, God. Bodi. A Logan Airport man. It's the best.

I don't know. Chankton, what do you think? Legal seafood? Legal seafood. I don't know. The old oyster, where we went with Edwin. Is Chankton asleep? Chankton, did you fall asleep, Chankton?

I think he did. Chankton left. Chankton's gone. I like it. I like it easier. He's having a great time. He walked out. Like, I'm kidding.

He's here. Mitch, your eyes opened as wide as I've ever seen when you say that. It was like that guy who gets hit by a boat in that movie. Remember? Like there's a little boat? Caddyshack? Yeah, yeah. Caddyshack.

That guy's opened up. That guy's great. That's good, Mitch. He's really good, that guy. You know what had a... We had a great clam chowder at Tadditch. Yeah, Tadditch. That was phenomenal.

Phenomenal. Also... Where is Tadditch? San Francisco. Oh, it's here in SF. Okay. We also didn't have the... That was like thick, delicious clam chowder final.

Oh, right. You mentioned this earlier. It feels like the whole thing with New England clam chowder. Back me up, Mitch. You're from New England, right? Yeah, I'm here. You don't want... Wait, but hold on.

Where is Chankton? Yeah. He's right there. Did he say anything? Oh, he's waving. He's sitting... Oh, he agrees with me. I agree with you.

Legal seafood? Burke's seafood, too. In Quincy is great. He'll be a part of the show. He's really busy over there. What's he working on? Doing his taxes. That's kind of from a shithole sketch.

I should... No, no. Well, Charlie, we're not talking to you anymore. Chankton, shut up. He's drunk. Let's go. One of your friends, really? No.

I think the... I agree. The clam chowder here was just fucking... It was... At best, it was a replacement level. It was a replacement level. I would actually call it calm chowder. Why?

Oh, boy. Because the taste is so calm and nothing. Yep. I got... You know what I would call it? What? Seafood milk. Yeah.

Warm seafood milk. Yeah. It was fucking whack. It tasted too seafood-y. It was like a fishy half-and-half. It was a fishy half-and-half. It was a fishy half-and-half. It was a fishy half-and-half.

It was a fishy half-and-half. It was a fishy half-and-half. It was a fishy milk? It was a fishy milk. Get a lot of nods out here. I see a lot of you. Oh, yeah. It's disappointing, especially because of their signature.

Do fish have breasts in some way? Oh, sorry. That's a strange question. In some way. There's a fillet. Are there pictures of it, too? There's animated pictures of it for sure. Good to know.

No, it was very seafood-y. Not enough potato in there. Yeah. It was whack. It was not good at all. And I had a big fucking giant bread bowl of it. You get a gigantic portion. And you're committed to it.

So then we got some other items. The crab mac and cheese, which is not in the online menu, so I don't have a description here. I guess it was maybe a special. And then in that same category, combining shellfish and dairy, there was the Dungeonous Crab and Shrimp Pizza,

which Van Arts Dayland ordered. Fresh pesto, mozzarella, and tomato. That was the one thing I refused to put in my mouth. I was like, I'm not eating that. But you did do the crab mac and cheese? I did taste the crab mac and cheese. I asked the waitress, I got a petite bread bowl, and I said, well, I should get one other thing,

but something we can all share, because I'm going to have a bunch of this sub-par chowder. And she said crab mac and cheese, and we went for it. And it was fine. It wasn't congealed together. The noodles were bouncing all around, and then separately there was cheese.

And this crab just thrown on top. It was just very easy to have. A lump of crab on top of mac and cheese. First off, I'd just give me regular mac and cheese. I'd rather have that. But the mac and cheese in and of itself was bad mac and cheese. It was fraudulent that it was served in a skillet

that it wasn't cooked in. No, yeah. It was a show skillet. What the fuck? It was a prop. It wasn't cast iron. It's existence. You guys tasted it, or some of you tasted it.

It was pretty good. It was good? I thought it was great. It was better than most other things, yes. It was like a pesto, like a white pie with pesto and a shrimp every once in a while. Well, the weird thing is crab, because you've had shrimp on pizza, right?

Yes. The crab is the weird thing. The crab is unusual. I'm a person who I just don't like mixing seafood and cheese. For me, that's like an odd combo. I've had it work at times, but I've also had other times where... I think someone just got pinched.

It might be a crab loose in the audience. Oh, shit. He's here and all this stuff. He's going after everybody. Hey, I'm fine on pizza. Tell them. He wants to be... Stupid crab.

Weiger, I think that that was a traditional rule that cheese and seafood, you keep them separate. That's like a chef rule. It's in the Bible, too, I think. Wolfgang Puck came along. It's Old Testament.

That's Jesus is on the cross, and he says that. It was the only thing he said. Before I go, just don't put cheese and seafood together. And mention it on double. But then, I think that eventually, Wolfgang Puck came along and put a shrimp on a pizza,

whoa. There have been executions... That fucking German fuck. Yeah. He's from Peruvia, actually. Oh, God, I'm going to hear this the rest of my life. There have been versions of it

that have worked for me, but this wasn't one of them, the crab mac and cheese. So, moving on from the surf portion to the turf portion, which I think were actually two of the better ones, which the beef stew was a slow-braised beef short rib

with Dijon mustard and carrots, pearl onions, creamy garlic mashed potatoes, the steak sandwich, 8-ounce grilled ribeye, French baguette, Swiss cheese, balsamic glazed onions, arugula tomato with coleslaw and bistro fries. Was there coleslaw? Oh, I don't know if there was coleslaw.

I didn't say no coleslaw. They forgot their slaw. But the ribeye steak sandwich, I think, was the best bite of the meal. Buy a mile. I agree. I ordered the big bread bowl and a steak sandwich. Right. Waitress didn't bat an eye. And that's it for you?

And while I saw you sitting there, you were like, we're in expensive San Francisco. What are you doing? And then it was the best thing of the entire meal. I'm glad you got it. You know, I skeptical, a steak sandwich is a thing that I feel like rarely works. Usually the steak is too hard to nibble through

and you need a knife, but this one was good. It was a nice balance. Sour dough and a fucking steak and you can bite through it pretty easily. And the baguette I think was the best bread we had, including the little free bread they get you on the table, which was nothing impressive, but that was the best bread. An issue. I got an issue.

Why is that bread not warm? That should be better. Yeah, it should be. It's because it came on those baskets across the room. It got cooled down by the wind. No one agrees with that. The bread should be warm. Sour dough bread. It's the baker's right next door. I think people agree with you.

People would have just stopped listening at this point. Look how many phones are out. I think Chankton was leading a big group outside. Hey, guys, we don't have to listen to this. Let's go. Wagner and I have always talked about when people realize that this is a stupid podcast. Yeah.

And it's just over. It might be tonight. Most people realize it and just unsubscribe. But then to actually come here and kind of be in the shit a little bit and then be immersed in it, that's probably a harsher revelation. I wasted so much time. Shut up, you fool.

And the stew, I thought, was... The stew did you right. The stew was fine. It was fine. It was disappointing, but whatever. I mean, I think as the... compared to everything else we had, I thought that was one of the better things. I feel like my mom has made a couple.

If you're like a great chef and have like the perfect recipe, yeah, you can make that up. I've had like a carrot and a potato with some nice beef. Yeah. Can you believe it? Oh, I believe you. Stunned.

But the steak sandwich really is the standard here. Well, we should get to our final thoughts on Boudin, our experience here today. Is that before we... I've heard some people say Boudin. Boudin is no? Boudin is no. No Dean.

The website says Boudin. Their own website. Kind of terrified me a little bit. What did you say? Boudin is a ghost language. What? It is. It's true. It's a game.

We hope it's not, but... I hope not. Well, let's get to our final thoughts on Boudin, Boudin, Boudin, however you say it. We'll go around. We'll each give a summary of our opinion, a closing argument, if you will, and then ascribe it a fork rating.

Zero to five forks. We'll go down the line starting with you, Jeff Dutton of The Soppy Boys. Okay, I think it was a great time at a restaurant. We really dug in and had, like, a multi-hour meal. Mm-hmm. And it is... Once you get inside that building, it is charming.

Like, it is the sort of place that... I think we went to our first sketch fest ten years ago. It's exactly the sort of place, like, on Hollywood and Highland, where, if you're the... It's the first time here, you just go right into the heart of the dumb thing and do it. And, basically, I give it three out of five,

just being, like, barely better than average. All right. All right, Handman, go ahead. I had the thing... I got the, what, the chow, the... Crab bisque. And I thought that was good. That was the best thing I had, I think, other than the steak sandwich.

I wasn't too impressed all around. And I really... I kind of didn't like the inside of the restaurant. I thought it was kind of plain. It is pretty boring. The baskets were going around the ceiling. That was cool. They did remind me of... Monster Zinc? With the doors? Robots?

That is kind of a Monster Zinc thing, too. I will say, the view was great. There was a great sailboat ride. I thought it was really great. No, you're right by the wharf. You can look out over the bay. It's nice. You can look at all the better restaurants. You can see Alcatraz and think about Capone wasting away.

He's still there? Yes. I gave it a two out of five. Two forks, Mike Hanford. No, I mean, I won out of five. Tim Calpakis. Oh, boy, I feel similarly.

I had the... I had the half and a half. The crab bisque was way better than the clam chowder. For sure. So I liked that half a lot. It was more savory, more flavor. But I feel like when I first got there, I looked at the menu and I saw that ribeye sandwich. And ribeye is my favorite food.

But we were at a clam chowder place. So I said, Timmy, don't get that ribeye. I heard him say this. This was during the hour you were in the bathroom. I was kind of just like really close up to the mirror. It's like Apocalypse Now in there.

Then I was kind of... I had a Sharpie. I was working out some equations. I was like Matt Damon. Okay. Oh! Anyway, I felt like disappointed that I said, Tim, don't get the ribeye. You always eat that.

And you're going on a podcast tonight. You should have a feeling about the chowder. So you should order the chowder. Then I ate all the chowder. And then I had a bite. I had many bites of Mitch's ribeye. And it was so much better that I just felt like I botched the whole thing. And I felt like that sucks that your iconic dish

that brought us in the door is not as good as a steak sandwich. You know, that's weird. So I'm saying 3 out of 5. Still going 3 forks. All right, Spoon Man. What do you think? Well, it was funny because like

I got there, I was excited to do it. I didn't enjoy the drinks. I didn't enjoy the food. And I certainly didn't enjoy the company. Hey! Mitch, that was us. Oh, I'm sorry. I meant Weiger specifically.

Here's the deal. If I was the bird man of Alcatraz or Sean Connery I did an impression of him with his last name. Oh, he's French? Sean Sean Connery

Sean Connery Suckly blue Suckly blue, I'm stuck in the rock. You understand that Sean Connery's character from the rock is not a historical figure. I thought that movie was taking place in real time. I thought I was watching a TV

news program. If I escaped from Alcatraz and I swam, which I am very good at you get it floating. If I floated from Alcatraz another bit of your rational self-confidence

just to go on a tangent real quick. You said that you could swim from Alcatraz. You were confident you could do it. If someone's got a spotlight in a boat I'll show you. I'll prove you all wrong tonight. Yeah, do it. How do you all feel if I just sank completely to the bottom?

All these people have to go out and stand in the cold and watch you swim. You thought this show was bad now. We're taking it to the water. Don't boys cruise. We've talked about this. Not going to happen. We're not going to do it. They want it. How about don't boys?

We're not doing it. Don't boys cruise. Don't boys live at Alcatraz. How's that? And if I walk longer up I calm down if I swim all the way from Alcatraz yes, and I got to fucking

Boudine I fucking swim my ass right back I shit sucks you're right down by the water you're a bread place, but you want to be a fish place make up your mind is a bread or fish

you got the Jesus meal going here. I got loads of bread and fish. It doesn't go well together. You got to choose one or the other. It's got to be it's too seafoody and the seafood sucks. I'm a Catholic boy terrified of the devil with his horns and his trident

yes, and you think but you're willing to say that the Christ meal is bad hold on I feel like Christ was a better cook or something than the Boudine people so there's Boudine Boudine I'm saying no nude

no nude no Dean no Dean two forks no Dean no Dean I was disappointed by my meal I mean this is a tourist trap that's what it is

the this this location the bistro there's no reason to go to the bistro go to the factory like walk around if you want to for whatever reason if you're down the fisherman's wharf and you have some kids to entertain they'll maybe like all the loaves that are shaped but I mean I like that I'm not going to say I didn't like seeing loaves shaped

like animals that was pretty fun one of the loaves of bread had a 49ers sticker on it yeah that's pretty cool that's awesome so you guys would probably love that here yeah they didn't like have it shaped like the 49er logo they just put a sticker on it there's a sticker on it was I supposed to remove that

before I ate it it's just you know the actual bistro itself is it's such a great food city there's so many places if you're going to spend as much money as we did we spend a lot of fucking money at this fucking place for a video game we spent $6,000

yeah we didn't mention all those bottles of champagne it's a it's I just go someplace else the actual the actual cafe which I've been to before it's fine but it's also like with a sourdough and bread bowl all right this is you can get this fucking at disneyland it's the same thing

and what is the difference between the downstairs and it's more grab and go and the upstairs is a restaurant and the cafe they have a bunch of they have about 30 different locations including some at the airports here and it's you know yeah it is more grab and go it's more focused towards the the chowder and a bread bowl and oh yeah perfect

perfect plain food clam chowder and a bread bowl I was going to say we were downstairs and the guy came up to us he might be here tonight and he's like did you go to the restaurant oh there is and I was like did you go to the restaurant or do you go to the cafe we were like the restaurant he's like the cafe fucking so

that guy right there smart man he's right that said walking through the museum this is a union shop which is nice it's nice that it's a union bakery oh god damn it we agree so for that reason I'm giving it

an extra half fork which gives Boudin's rating one and a half for guys that was our review of Boudin and now it's time for a segment I've got a mystery drink and Mitch and the sloppy boys must divine what it is it's another edition of the Weigher Challenge

Emma Erdbrink everybody our producer walking out these mystery beverages in clear cups Emma a former bartender your first time in the Bay Area any thoughts in the little bit of time you spent here it's a pretty dope city but your shit's expensive

well said thank you Emma very well said hey wait a second yes you know you and I have a little bet about me making the billboard top 100 I won't play the song but I will say I am working with one member of the sloppy boys

on my production wow they don't want to be named but I am working with the sloppy boy right now on my billboard top 100 the terms of the bet are and I think you only have like 8 weeks to get this done because you made the bet we pushed it to 2021

oh yeah that's right because I was like you're not going to start to like start in November you made the bet almost a year ago and it was you had one year to get a song on the billboard hot 100 and if it happens then I give you like a thousand dollars you give me ten thousand dollars

ten thousand dollars okay I did write a parody song and I like I'm trying to like warm myself up okay so this is not the song this is not the song do you want to hear this the parody song yeah of course okay

it's a parody song of country road okay at the goalpost mushroom kingdom cuckoo mountain loop loop river yoshi lives here eats

berries from the trees mario will ride his back and eat goombas with great ease country toad take me home to the place have a long

mushroom kingdom princess peachy take me home country toad it's a lock baby he's going to get this billboard I think that song could get on the billboard top 100 I was so sure it was going to be rainbow road

oh rainbow road dammit shit that's why I would have slapped me boys we're a bad man fuck I can't be I'm not even going to lie my night is ruined

no fuck you I just did a full I just did a full song the sloppy boys could do a lettuce wrap not gonna make you do that I don't think I've ever heard the lettuce wrap that's where you just kind of close your eyes and got sweaty and worried about it it's a very

cowpack in lime delivery let's hear it I forget it oh boy yeah lettuce wrap it's the lettuce wrap yeah rugula iceberg that's for me making salads let's make it for

three sloppy boys have come to dine oh fucking shit is it always freestyle the lettuce wrap is always the freestyle wrap let me tell you there's hard

things in this world making a lettuce wrap is the hardest thing to do of all making you bailed on trying to rhyme dine it's a one syllable word it's hard fine mine you can find ways to

land that yeah lettuce wrap it's a lettuce wrap I would like to see a movie like an eight mile style movie with you hey you're about to see this kid on this podcast

kid well don't worry about that anyway he raps about lettuce sometimes and he hates doing it but he always brings it up I did not bring it up I don't know maybe this time you didn't I sang rainbow road

wink we're gonna edit it I'm gonna sing rainbow the masters of editing guys so you've got you each have a beverage in front of you for the wyger challenge which is the exercise we're doing here describe you can promise promise promise this is not your piss

it's not my piss man I wish I was that hydrated it's a you wish you were so hydrated that you'd serve us your piss yeah they can fill fucking five pint glasses with urine the reason I ask clear I ask because it is very cold

right I heard I heard you it was your piss I do hear you have cold piss is that true I have a famously cold dick so you guys we're gonna little silly at the end of the show huh describe what you're we are getting a little silly

describe what you've got in front of you describe what you're smelling tasting seeing well it looks kind of like a sparkling white wine smells like a white one you know what first little pineapple Lee first reaction it looks like Snapple elements rain oh very

holy shit very specific that's from 15 years ago yeah that's like when Snapple was like the movie fern gully came out we got a pair of drink with that oh wow that's a weird taste I took a sip of it I do not like it

what did you taste what do you experience it tastes like like rainwater it's definitely like a sparkling water type thing it's bad it's got smells like a fruity thing okay kind of yeah definitely sparkling

water it's like little bubbles tiny little sharp ones yeah there's a yeah I know my mouth is bleeding not a lot of effervescence I will say and and like such a delicate flavor like maybe like cucumber something yeah I think but it's

it's fruitier than cucumber is it like oh you're right oh maybe little mangoes and Peruvian mango oh boy alright would anyone like to wait for a guess

on what this beverage is I'm gonna say it's like a wannabe lacroix that is like new I'm gonna say it is Dasani's like Dasani sparkling passion fruit

sparkling Dasani passion fruit Tim Calbagus' answer anyone else Mike Hanford oh my god I have no idea Dutton Mitch there's not alcohol in it I don't think right I'm not gonna get

to ask questions if there's alcohol then I'm off the wagon shit yeah we should have told you sorry Hawaiian punch Peruvian mango blast okay

pretty wild guess there I'm a wild guy Dutton Mitchell I say it's a Perrier fruit mango I don't know this one is fucking hard but I also feel like it might be some sort of San Francisco

fucking treat there is rice errone my guess is rice errone you just gave you discarded rice water go San Pellegrino mango San Pellegrino mango

okay you know what rendering a verdict Mitch I think you're closest wow it's rice errone because it does not have any fruit it is Lagunitas hoppy refresher from the Lagunitas brewery

in Petaluma California does not have alcohol this is a hops based refreshing carbonated drink so what on earth made you think we could ever guess this hop water that's why I was tasting some I was tasting it tasted almost like alcohol

yeah it's kind of got that it's like beer but it's not wow it's not very hoppy though it doesn't smell like an IPA yeah it's more it's like a whiff of hops you know what yeah fucking flush it all down the toilet burn the mother dough

we need to start this city over again we waited at a light for like ten minutes because of a trolley that happens the lift driver was like oh fuck and I was like what's going on he's like you'll see and then fucking trolley drove by but you I mean we thought that was pretty quaint

when it went by yeah that sounds good ding ding didn't we all went that's pretty good I giggled when I dinged yeah Joey Gladstone was on the back well that very anti-climactic segment was the Weigher Challenge just like a restaurant value feedback let's open up the feedback so we're going to take three audience

question let's just say this though in Detroit someone came up on the stage don't come up on stage don't try to shake our hand I never shook Nick's hand myself yeah well shake hands with you after the show but don't

like come on stage trying to shake our hand but yeah I don't think that was one time thing I'm how I don't think I think this crowd will exercise better restraint yeah I hope so less drunk than the fucking Detroit Friday night crowd yeah fucking bring it up shots on

shankton at the back of the bar all right Emma who's our first question from all right really a crab real quick a young lady I think named Ariel sent an email and said that there is someone named Chris with a 30th birthday so want to shout that out say happy birthday HPD Chris

the big three oh wow man do you have to tell your children where were you for your 30th birthday dad that typical question kids ask their parents fuck you forget it anyway we got

there at Blake Brian Marsters and Josh Cohen if you want to come meet me right here all right come up and first yeah Celtic here from Quincy holy shit and a Bruins hat don't give him that I'm gonna take that

mic away from him so remind us your name real quick Brian Brian thank you Brian wearing a Celtics hoodie and a Boston Bruins hat where'd you go to high school north north Quincy where did you graduate 2005 oh god it's gonna be you're four years behind me

did you have my mom I did you had my mom holy shit and when he says he had your mom what the fuck is your question can I be your new dad it wasn't but uh no

um my question was you reviewed a chain that was known for its bread what burger chain has the best bread or buns wow this is a good question very good question very good question I'd say for me to say this here in the golden state but

I like the sponge dough on an in and out burger you were so full of shit it's a very standard basic but very satisfying classic burger bun I got a bun for you that big mac sesame seed bun baby good bun good bun quality bun

no one's riding that bun I second weiger wow dutton on my side I usually when I go to restaurants like that I get a salad or something like that wow

people are booing you sorry that's just who I am I like the Wendy's pretzel bun wow I love that pretzel bun it's a fun option thing you know what else I'll throw out there shake shack bun nice and soft barely have to chew the thing it's alright

have you tried the keto bun ooh no have you been like a burger in it's a chain oh no well they've got there's like you know you could do normal bun or let us wrap

or a keto one and it's just like a it's a sponge it's got no carbs damn no taste and it's not made of anything at all I didn't like it oh you know what else I'll say the Hawaiian Kings Hawaiian buns those are fun

are those at fast food places I haven't encountered that I mean some fast food place should do that as a promotion I think islands maybe right islands have some great buns I'm a big time island guy great question my mother taught you will my boy thank you for the question Brian

hi what's your name what's your question hi my name's Kale yeah it's my last name so I wanted to know with the impending climate apocalypse soon upon us what preserved food item would you go on like a really perilous

long journey across the barren apocalyptic wasteland wow that's very good question so also his name is Kale like the food how about that that's fun I spelled with a C though I assume right yeah

no you're supposed to say no it's actually Kale it's like the food wow we should just call it right here yeah that's amazing I will so the thing that that popped into my mind is from the road

the Kormac McCarthy novel and he discovers it's adapted into a film the uh it would be Gordon says it he shows a stick and he just promises um the which makes me feel good about myself it's a great nubby dick like like so many

so many times you see a flaccid dick in a movie and the guy's clearly like chubbed up a little bit because he knows this is like this is my time to shine he might be president of the nub club Vigo Vigo's just showing like he's not trying to impress anybody mm-hmm um yeah I will say

I what is it weird we talked about this endlessly before you mean dana we're texting about we were recently um I really no I will say that that in that they retrieve at one point a can of coke and his son who

was born after the apocalypse tasted for the first time and even though it's a little flat and expired it's like kind of like it's like a delight for him let's be real here so to if you could find a soda that would be like an amazing thing to experience you Natalie go down to the bunker with a bunch of coconut oil we know this is true

uh we got to populate the earth I'm like alright so like part of the part of the consideration is that it would stay yes the apocalypse yes bread would be a bad choice bread would be bad something reserved

man that's a tough one I would say maybe this is like kind of a basic choice but like peanut butter but we're talking about a quest like you're going on a death strand as quest yeah I'm gonna still say peanut butter okay fair enough peanut butter is great yeah that is a tough one

because all that like canned food is something I don't really like I'm not making a trip for tuna right right but if you're talking about so what like what you're eating are like let's say are like irradiated wolves like three eyed wolves you're like but that's and you have to like kill them

with a crossbow that's your sustenance right and you're like I want something that reminds me of a time before I would do spaghettios because I feel like that's a great answer spaghettios is good that's a great answer being young again spam

spam wow excellent answer wow very good answer I go down there with that boudine mother dough just the two of us ride out the apocalypse together baby I wonder if a circus peanut would last ooh circus peanuts would definitely last

I find those repulsive you guys like those I guess I don't but I wonder how many of those get eaten every year because I know they make a lot of them yeah but it would be so weird to eat a whole pack

you know they always did the cliche about hostess snacks is that they'll survive you know some sort of nuclear holocaust or they'll last forever so that would actually be a nice little sweet treat if that and you can test that hypothesis I just had my first Twinkie in like 20 years and it was so good have you had a Twinkie

recently I haven't no that's a good choice though it's like cake I'm going to change my spam to Twinkie can I do that yeah okay that's totally okay okay well okay thank you for an excellent question one more I didn't get my real answer your real answer I was going to say back in cheese

Kraft mac and cheese good would that work I think the work but then I'd have to get butter would I have to use butter from like the wolf you you'd want like the easy mac so you don't have easy mac you don't have to strain and milk a mutant wolf easy

Mac is my answer Mac yeah then you just add some hot water yeah the shitty mac and cheese yeah hi what's your name what's your question hi my name is Josh Josh hey Josh so I'm a I'm one of those food scientists that you guys are all complaining about or maybe admiring when you're talking

about the crazy snacks and stuff that you eat no we had real yes well so I don't actually work on those products but can you say can you say what company you work for it's okay you know it's a small biotech company in Oakland I'm actually not doing product development right now but at one point you worked in food products

correct can you explain why Tim's two soups stayed separate from each other probably some combination of what Weiger said and you know just the fact that they're very viscous but okay Weiger is basically a food scientist hey how about that so I've been I've like

worked in or visited a lot of like R&D and product development labs for like food companies so for either like a specific company or a specific product what would you guys be interested in kind of seeing or potentially like partaking in like you know panels or kind of just

peeking behind the veil of the product development process wow what type of products or and you can expand it to fast food kind of test kitchens as well so you're saying like what would we want to see like this is how this thing is made not just how it's made but how it's like new products are developed

and how partaking that as well can I say we're off the bat yes we've talked privately about wanting to go to the Taco Bell Test Kitchen yeah we're trying to make that happen and in my mind it's like Willy Wonka-esque right it's like Xanadu it's like when when Bart Simpson

gets a peek at what's going on in Mad Magazine yes that is that's my that's the first thing that comes to mind yeah I first off at Josh right first off Josh thank you for your service I think the I am very interested in

seeing how they come up with new flavors of of Mountain Dew like it how do they they figure out like okay we're gonna this is gonna be whatever their newest iteration is whatever whatever the equivalent of gamer fuel or code red is like what is their new product that they're working on how do they decide on

what the flavor combo is where those flavors come from and then also how do they decide how to market it because clearly they have a very specific demographic they're targeting it at so yeah Mountain Dew is my answer I'd like to go to the Mountain Dew plant whatever it is what if you went to the Mountain Dew plant

and like the way that they make Mountain Dew is they drain blood from children I think it's a possibility it's like a pizza gate scenario Hillary's there oh boy so Taco Bell and Mountain Dew

those are both good I think one that a food brand that does some interesting variants because every food now like a Fig Newton they just do like 50 different Newtons they're all shit yeah

I think the best hit rate which still isn't good but is better than most is Oreo you're right Oreo plant is good honestly like every once in a while somebody will pull out like pistachio Oreos and I'll be like and then I have like 50 of them

that's very true golden is just as good as the normal if you ask me give me golden over regular Oreos I would take golden Oreos as well is that blasphemous or something no I don't think so it's a fine opinion to have the triple double with that middle guy

the middle middle Patty what's Hydrox been doing they're not keeping up with any of that they're living on a certain level I saw a new version it was Hydrox salty and it's like the cream

is salty wink Hydrox predates Oreo Hydrox is like it's like if Pepsi dominated the soda industry the imitator can we lower the house lights I don't want to see the audience anymore yeah well they're all salivating over the Hydrox

for real the lights came up and I just saw someone sleeping I was like oh god you got to put these back down that news very cool thank you for doing the show dead please stop doing that I don't know how to respond

classic cool guy you guys got any answers I want to see I want to know how they put the flavors into like a jelly belly good answer where the hell did Josh go the lights went out and he vanished

he just laid down in the aisle and started napping you don't have to come back jelly belly we said jelly belly is a good answer mine is not like new stuff mine's more like a historical record that you could do Josh

a flashback in time because here's what I was wondering about the flavor of black licorice yes there's a lot of things that taste like that sometimes you eat fennel and people say it's like wine licorice other times you have like coriander

that's black licorice and then there's like star anise wormwood there's all these weird and all of them be like that's how they make black licorice and then also when you're picking out a liquor there's 20 different things that taste all like black licorice but they're all made from like

I don't like any of it but Josh I think you could give like a nice little symposium about how that all came to be if you want to just come on stage you can start it now you could shake our hands right up here the person who's sleeping wakes up now this is symposium guys that's our show

the sloppy boys Emma Erdbrink give it up for everyone guys that's our sketch bastard everybody here in Cobbs I know next time for this movement Mike Mitchell and Mick Weigher have eaten see ya thank you San Francisco

go Niners next weekend on the next Dough Boys Double Pin Pals Rejoice Writer and comedian Marissa Pinson returns to the podcast to taste test an array of hard seltzer brands it's a boozy bubbly low-cal delight get the Dough Boys Double every Tuesday

only at patreon.com subscribe to our channel and don't forget to like and share and don't forget to subscribe to our channel and don't forget to subscribe to our channel and don't forget to like and share and don't forget to like and share and please double every Tuesdayangletじ

patreon.com that's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com Slash sources for this week's intro available in the episode description that was a hate gum podcast