Doughboys - Buca di Beppo 2 with Chloe Radcliffe

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

Chloe Radcliffe (@chloebadcliffe, Is This Thing On?) joins the 'boys to talk Letterboxd top 4, being a soda business analyst for Target, and their go-to Karaoke songs before a review of Buca Di Beppo. Plus, another edition of The Price is Ripe.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/obama-campaign-press-release-joint-statement-senator-barack-obama-and-senator-john-mccainhttps://www.cbsnews.com/news/mccain-says-bailout-is-not-for-wall-street/https://fpif.org/the-iraq-war-should-be-a-much-bigger-part-of-mccains-legacy-than-his-civility/https://www.cfr.org/articles/obamas-final-drone-strike-datahttps://www.mainstcapital.com/abouthttps://www.bonappetit.com/story/bizarre-history-buca-di-beppoSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. At long last, the Munch Madness 2026 finale is actually happening on Saturday, July 11th. That's right, 7-11. Never forget, from 7 to 11 p.m. Eastern. Think about that.

What kind of synergy is that? 7-11 from 7-1 to 11. We're going to have a pre-show. We're going to have the main show. We're going to have a post-show. answering your questions live. All this is going to be happening. We're going to get closure on the Dodiac and Commissioner Susser,

who's been kidnapped and held hostage this entire time since March. He has a family and a career. Much madness finale for 2026 is happening on July 11th from 7 to 11 p.m. Eastern. Tickets at birdfuck.com slash live. Hey, buddy, this episode is brought to you by booking.com. Booking.com offers a wide array of hotels and vacation rentals across the U.S. You can find exactly what you're booking for. We all have different travel needs.

What's right for a young family might not be right for your Gen Z friend group. There's something for everyone, even those who are impossible to please. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your picky teens, your sleep light, rise early mom, or your high-maintaintingance group chat, or your even higher maintenance podcast co-host, you can find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com makes it easy to find a stay that's not just generically right or right for someone else, but ridiculously right for you and anyone you're booking for. So we travel for Do Boys Media, primarily for live shows, but sometimes for cons,

sometimes for other business that has to be attended to on the road. And it's always really important that we have our specific needs satisfied. You know, we like to have lots of bathrooms for obvious reasons. We're a food podcast and a nice TV for evening movies and a good kitchen. If we want to do any group meals or just have snacks, beverages, we want all that stuff to be available. And if we can find her perfect stay on booking.com, anyone can't. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com, booking. Yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. This episode is brought to you by booking.com. Booking.com offers a wide array of hotels and

vacation rentals across the U.S. so you can find exactly what you're booking for? There's something for everyone, Wags, even those who are impossible to please. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your picky teens, your sleep, light, rise early, mom, I know that, or your high maintenance group chat, I know that as well, it's called the doughboys group chat, you can find exactly what you're booking for. Mitch, you and I travel a lot together. It's true. Touring, and we found that we have some particular needs for ourselves and for our staff who makes the show possible. That's right, Wags. What we're always looking for is a big kitchen. We're always looking for places where you can repair food at the place. We always want

nice bathrooms. We want big old bathrooms. And we want a nice TV so we can watch evening movies. And if we can find our perfect stay on booking.com, anyone can. That's right, Wags. Find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com, booking dot yeah. Book today on the site or in the app. Do it. We cannot bail out Wall Street without helping millions of families facing foreclosure on Main Street, end quote. In September of 2008, as the event now known simply as the 2008 financial crisis threatened to irreparably devastate the global economy, the United States was also in the final stretch of one of its famously interminable presidential campaigns. Just days away from their first debate, Senators Barack Obama and John McCain,

the Democratic and Republican nominees, respectively, released a joint statement calling for cross-party unity and taking congressional action to address the crisis, which included that opening excerpt. Main Street as metonymy for everyday Americans has been in common usage since the Great Depression, usually invoked in contrast with Wall Street, aka the bankers and fat cats. But because words no longer mean anything, in 2007, an IPO was held for an investment firm called Main Street Capital Corporation. Self-described as investing in, quote, private companies owned by or in the process of being acquired by a private equity fund. In 2024, this novel breed of vampire acquired an Italian-American family-style sit-down chain whose name translates as Basement of Joe.

The Coutina's previous corporate master, Planet Hollywood International, had stripped-mined the eatery's dine-in experience in favor of servicing celebrity ghost kitchens from its back of the house. Today, under its new stewardship, the brand continues to hemorrhage locations, down from its pre-COVID high of 110 to just 40 today. Obama and McCain were both imperfect politicians. Candidate Obama's strident forward-thinking progressivism was replaced by President Obama's liberal incrementalism and extrajudicial foreign killings. And McCain had championed the ruinous Iraq War, and in selecting Sarah Palin as his running mate, kickstarted the decline of his party into a rat's nest of dumb fucks and shameless rich fuchs. But the idea of the leaders of both parties agreeing to a

joint statement to address absolutely anything seems impossible today, as does any more than a superficial acknowledgement of the economic needs of ordinary Americans by either of these institutional thralls of the donor class. And they've even come for our fetichini. This week on Do Boys, we return to Bucca DeBepo. Welcome to No Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Bologna Coup, The Spoon Man. The Spoon Man Mike Mitchell. Bologna. Hello, dough boys,

dough crew and guests. Sorry it's very bad. Thanks for making... So Tully Soprano, a fat, racist guy. Yes. You got to add bologna on to it. You can't just call me... And Italian.

Well, that's the biggest insult to all. Hey, you're fat. You're racist. You're Italian. No, no fucking way. You do not call me that. Trust me, the Italians really let us down today. Yeah.

I'm just going to say that up top. Wow. We'll get into it. Thanks for making, sorry it's very bad. Thanks for making bad days good and the good days greater from Tree. Oh, thank you, Tree.

Thanks, Tree. No, this roast was also submitted by Matt S, Aaron J, Zach R, and Amber L. So this low, a whole binge of people were sending in baloney soprano. Yes. Dog piling over each other like zombies and World War Z to get this roast in.

This is like, it's like the opposite of. Roast at Birdfuck.com. Writer's rooms turning into like one or two people and now roasts are seven people contributed to one roast? Yeah. And they're all white writers. That's bullshit.

I'm assuming, yes, they're all. Anybody watch Kevin Hart? I watched Kevin Hart. Hey, if you want to write a roast about me, let me see some Irish writer. I want to see a Irish writer in your room. You need representation. Speaking of Irish roast,

Amelia, you have Irish heritage and you have a bespoke roast of your own for Mitch. Oh, that's right. You brought in for today. Bucca de Pepto. Buga de Pepto is pretty good. That's pretty good, honestly. Is it better than Bologna's soprano? Yes.

I'll give it to Amelia. I'm going to give him to Amelia. I mean, I didn't want to judge which one. Is that because she's part Italian? I mean, part Irish? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that part of Irish part. There is some representation there.

Yeah. The Henry Hill, the half Italian, half Irish. That's me. They live in both worlds. I was trying to think of something Bologna Soprano would say. All I could think of was Gabba Ghoul, which he doesn't really say. We didn't tell our guests that our guests can talk. Guinness Gould.

Guinness Gould is good. That's for the Irish? I want some, if you're writing my roast, I want to be Oscar Wilde, James Joyce. These are the type of guys I want writing my roast. Oscar Wild wasn't Irish? Oh, he wasn't? I think he was English. But he was a wit.

I hate those. I hate those gay. James Jewish was. Oscar Wild is Irish. He's Irish. He's Irish. Really? Wow.

Every Oscar Wild quote. What the fuck? Are you telling you're, what the fuck? You're trying to take my gay writer from me. Every Oscar Wild quote, I only know this because my British boyfriend went down a very deep rabbit hole of Oscar Wild quotes recently. And every Oscar Wild quote is like, if the sky is a lady, the man, is the sea. It's just like two things. They're all opposite.

That wasn't a funny reference. Anyway, back to what I was saying. That was good. I like hearing it. I actually also thought what he wrote was good that you just said there. I like that. If a man, if the lady is the sea and the man is the land, is that what it was? Something like that. That's pretty good. Some genius thing. Yeah, maybe. I've fucked it up in my, in my panic about not having a good enough Oscar Wilde reference. Emma's coming over to adjust the windscreen here. Just also so you know, the headgum microphone arm is a little. With doughboys, you do. don't need to have a good reference or really even a good joke or even honestly a joke at all. Follow the host leads. You don't need to be funny or interesting. Okay. Thank you.

To succeed in podcasting, apparently. We particularly this week are going to be, we've been in the content minds this week, like we say. That's right. Is that the little train that goes down into the mine? Yeah, I think pulling. Like a little cart? Right, right. It's kind of like the Donkey Kong mine car.

or we're taking it. I struck an Instagram reel. That sort of. This is the thing we do here. Ooh, a tweet. This bad boy's going to go viral. World prospectors. And we were saying cave-ins are cancellations.

We were trying to figure out what the equivalent of us there. Yeah. A rattlesnake is your pilot didn't get picked up. And the canary in the coal mine. is, uh, let's see. That's Amelia and Emma not laughing. Yeah. The canary in the coal mine, another canary in the coal mine is when you, when you're playing

the same size venue and you're selling fewer tickets. That's, yes, that is a real boy. It's close to home. The canary in the coal mine is, here's the canary in the coal mine. That was a bad audience. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a bad audience. They were really, they were really, they were.

They were. They were tired. That was a workout. We had a fight a little bit. Yeah, we had to work for that one. We woke them up. I think we woke them up by the end. Yeah, but yeah, it was, yeah, it was pretty good.

They were having fun. They were having fun. They were having, you know what they were? They're used to, like, listening in their cars. So they, like, are not used to just being part of an audience. Yeah, they're watching too much Netflix. Exactly, right, right. They think it's TV.

They think they don't have to react. Right. I think I hear, I think from you a lot afterwards. It took them a minute. It took them a minute. It's like, yeah, yeah, took them a minute. Basically. It took like 89 minutes until the end of the show and they cheered.

Took them the amount of time before our guest came out and it saved both of us. Just floundering up there. It was just shooting fucking bullets the entire time. Doing not the literal version. Yes, no, yeah. Like to do. No, yeah. Shooting bullets.

I mean, we'll see. We'll be a surprise what show it happens at it. Mitch, go on. I make a joke that he's a, you know, he's that one of those types. Like a school shooter? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I think we kind of get that vibe. I get it. Not fighting it. Yeah. I wouldn't do it. That's what a school shooter would say. You got me there.

Emma, let's hit him with a drop. That's where you were looking for. The Eaton fires, we were eating through the five. The Eaton fires, we were eating through the five. We never stopped. The Eaton fires, we were eating through the fire and ever stop. The Eaton fires, we were eating through the five and ever stopped. In the Lost Bus.

Lost bus? The lost bus? The lost bus. Did your mom have Britbox? She wants Britbox. I'm going to get her brick box. Get her brick box. The lost bus.

Everyone's mom has brick box. The lost bus. The lost bus. The lost bus. Everyone's mom has brick box. The lost bus. The lost bus. The lost bus.

Little Libby Watson in there. Is that they? It sounded like Libby. But we were eating through. Eating through the virus sounded like some sort of... No, eaten fires. Remember the eaten fires. Eating through the fires.

I heard virus at first too, and then I was like, oh, he's saying fires. Eat fires. I don't like the, the henta virus? Haanta. Hanta. Renta. He was saying he has hentai virus. He likes your quip last episode.

Well, I can do it two in a row. You can do it again. I can't do it twice. No, you can't. Absolutely. You still have it. You're not contagious yet. That's true.

Hi, Doe fam. I heard you guys repeating lost bus in Britbox. So, so much it got stuck in my head. So I want to return the favor with a little bit of funk. Thanks for all the laughs and good times. Robot Z from the DoSkort. Wow, Robot Z. I'm too afraid to post.

Don't be afraid to post. Get up in there. You little coward? Say something in there. One of the most welcoming community. Yeah, you know what? What's the name again? We haven't been in there in a minute.

We've got to get back in the DoeScord. The Doorscord is coming back. Well, yeah, DoeScord is coming back. What was the user's name? Get in there and tell them. about your fucking experience. Robot Z. Robot Z, to quote Oscar Wild, be yourself. Everyone else has already taken.

I think that's a pretty good quip. That's a great. It's a great one. A lot of non-Irish people in this room. We're putting it down. Okay, good, here we go. Are you Irish? The tiniest, tiniest bit.

Not enough to count it. Enough to count it as an American. Now that I go over to the UK and Ireland a lot, they're all like, you fucking Americans all think that you're Irish. Yeah. You're none of you are. You got an Irish friend, so it's fine that you say this stuff about me.

All right, so I'm just on page one. I'm going to jump ahead to page seven. Let's see what we got over here. Yeah. A little deeper in the Oscar Wild. Drops at birdfuck.com. Let's see. Okay, here's one.

I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. I guess that's not really... That's not... Let me give me... Okay, go for it. That's not bad, too, honest. I mean, it's not his best work, I guess.

Yeah. Why should just introduce our guest? A stand-up and actor from- Yes, as she tries to find, as she's trying to, to spit in the face of Oscar Wild. She's trying to find his worst of quote. We're told her to have her a stand-up and actor from the Tonight Show, Command Z,

and is this thing on, Chloe Radcliffe is here. Hi, Chloe. Hello, let me read you an Oscar Wild quote here. Here we go. This is sort of a good one. It takes great, What are we? What are you doing?

Wait, choose the middle of something. Is that you or is that me? That's me. Yeah, but when it was the last... We've started so many threads. Who was the last person you were related to have been born in Ireland? Good question. Probably one of my grandparents.

Probably. Yeah, I think was my grandma born there? I don't know. Did she have an Irish accent? But all their parents, Ireland. So great grandparents at least. Okay. And this is, I'm just saying, this is what people in the UK and Ireland think of Americans.

That's fair. That's fair. They're always like, no, we're Irish, where are you? Look, trust me, I, in Boston, you go into an Irish bar and they, they don't like American Irish people. They just don't like you. Amelia's left. Yeah, we've walked, we've walked the producer already. She got a, she got a box of Kleenex.

She's still a little spill back here. Okay. Here is a perfect Oscar. wild quote that I is in what I was talking about. In old days, books were written by men of letters and read by the public. Nowadays, books are written by the public and read by nobody. I like that. And honestly, it's a great quote and it's one now.

That's my favorite quote now. And can we hear the one that it knocked out of the top place? To be or not to be? That is the question. Be honest, it was dump them out. I can't keep looking at these. I'll read Oscar Wild Quotes all day. I can't believe how many fucking pages there are.

There's so many. Amelia, I just got to say right off the top, you now having a bunch of used Kleenex in the fucking trash bin after the doughboys that but in the studio? It's just suspicious. It's the Kleenex you're worried about, not the 200 pounds of Bucca to Beppo that's in there? No, no, no, no.

I don't think you're getting what I'm saying. He means that they came into the napkins and then threw them away. But at least they used clean access. Yeah. Yeah, actually, it might be an upgrade for us. That means that you were just jerking off regular style. You weren't doing anything into anything creepy. My favorite way to do it, regular style.

Yeah. You're a conventional guy. Who me? Yeah. Yeah. I stand up and jack off like any man. Standing up is regular style? Regular style for me now is probably, well, this is too.

I don't care. Okay, all right. We're on the topic. If I'm, if I, if I, if I, if I, if I, make your ancestors proud. Oscar Wilde is smiling in hell. Irish need not apply to heaven, whigs. It's a part of it. Oh, boy.

For me, yes, he knows this. If I'm going to do that sort of thing, I go to the shower and I, uh, I stand up and I get it done. I like standing up and doing it. No Kleenex is necessary. No Kleenex is necessary. No clean X is necessary. There is still some. I mean, look, there is.

There's some stuff that goes on. Why don't you just hop right in the shower afterwards? Didn't you just say in the shower? Sometimes in the shower, but sometimes I do just go do it to a dry shower. You're standing outside the shower or you step into the shower? I'm standing outside the shower. That's no longer regular style. But also, like, laying on your back, like a little baby and jacking off.

Those are the only options standing up and laying on your back. Laying on your, I mean, it kind of is. What's the third? You can be seated. What's wrong? Seaton. You're sitting? No, what's wrong with sitting?

I'm just saying that's an option. I guess. Oh, so you're like at your computer chair and you're doing it, I guess? If you want or on your couch. Or on your couch? Yeah, okay. Or in a theater? On a train?

On a train, yeah. You're always kind of like laying back or laying down, right? Like you're trying to. What? Recline? You're trying to recline a little bit, no? I mean, I guess. I'll be trying to lean forward.

That was good. We got to give him credit for when he goes there. This is, this is from, um... Oh, you mean, leave a self-suck way. Yes, yes. That's what I was referring to. This is Oscar Wild on my page. Finish your thought, I'm sorry. I guess maybe if you're like very well endowed,

you're like can just sit straight up and I guess, you know what I mean? I don't know. I'm a chubby guy and I'm not, I'm not pack and heat, as the kids say. Is that what they say? Yeah. You think any woman has ever seen a dick that is long enough erect for the man to sit

shoulder's straight and just tilt his chin down? There's probably been one that exists. No. But even, even, I think that's like, I think like laying on your back or laying down or being. At that point, I guess the weight is so heavy that he has to lay down. Yeah, right, yeah. I don't see. And I'm just saying, just for like ease.

Like, I think a lot of men are like laying back. You know what I'm saying? Like, I think that there's. I can't believe we have a first time guessing. This is how we're starting this conversation. This is what I didn't. This is. And then she said go on.

She said, go on. Wow. Classic misogyny. Blaming the woman. He talks about jerking off And then he goes, she was fine with it. She didn't say no. I just say, no.

Time out here. I respect women. I want to hear what they think about these things. Mitch, feels like a cave-in. It is a fucking cave-in. Okay, let's see. Get me out of here, why? Send the fucking...

Oscar Wild. Young people nowadays imagine that money is everything. I guess it is kind of evergreen. Okay. This one, this one is bad. This is from the final page of Oscar Wild quotes. Love is easily killed. Oh, how easily love is killed.

Good. You think that's good? That's just when he was so sad. Everything else is sort of, he's like, has a little feather quill, and he's like, Tweeley writing all of these, and that's just like, my fucking sucks existence is suffering. We had to talk about this, because you told us this bit of information before we started the episode. So we learned you worked at Target Corporate in Minneapolis. Your specific role was soda business analyst?

Yes. So what did that mean in practice? Yeah, tell us what that meant in practice. So you're putting in the same amount of work here as far as I can tell. I agree. Also, by the way, he plans everything out. He heard this right before the show. Yeah, but I added in.

You typed it in your fucking. You typed in your fucking. What a way, fucking. Hey, I'm listening and I'm picking up on things that might be interesting talking about. You typed that into your iPad moments before the show? I made a note to like mention Target. I make notes in here too. I know you do.

Let's hear some of your notes. Make fun of the Ted Sarando's Netflix thing. Okay. There's nothing, there's no more thought than that. Great. What else do we got here? Hold on. I'll look up some notes.

Okay, great. These are, these are just for this episode or these just general doughboys notes? Mitch, there is something that you wanted a show, a book. Our friend Jack Schramm wrote a book, Solid Wiggles. It's available now. And why Jack is, it's, it's, it's, it's basically how you can make some, some fancy jello.

Yes. Wow. Jack's, uh, business is, um, I forget what, what term he uses because Jello is a brand. Jelly shots. They're like, they're gelatin shots. Uh, and their artisan. Get a load of that. And so this book is, is how to make some of these like craft cocktails in, um, in

gel form. But he's always been nice to the show, but nice to us, brought us some, some alcoholic treats. I want some of this. I know. I want that thing. Spicy mescal passion fruit margarita. What the hell?

Are you, are you, where are you based out of right now? Are you in New York or are you in New York? I'm here for a week. You can get some of these to me for the next week? He's actually in New York. He'll probably hook you up. There you go. Wow.

He knows our mutual friend Mike Hanford, right? Yeah. No, there you go. You go through Handman. Go through the Handman. I'll go through the hand, man. The organization of Target supply chain management, I believe, has changed since I was there. I haven't been there for 10 years.

But at the time, there was a business analyst for every category in the store. There was like a Lampshades business analyst, and there was a CD business analyst, right? Within grocery, then I was in the snacks, beverages, pets, and candy division. I trained in snacks on the cookie cracker desk. I interned in pets, but my best friend on the internship was in the candy department, so I never had a single cavity until I interned there, and then I ate York peppermint patties for breakfast, and then I had three cavities at the end of 10 weeks.

Anyway. Oh, my God. But soda, so I then was placed. You would think with the mint and the peppermint, it would help. That's why I didn't brush my teeth because I'm. I was like, my breath smells so much. I don't need a rush a teeth. By the way, here, I do have a...

I just found a note. Okay, great. What does it say? Weiger has hentai virus. Okay, so you use that one. So that was useful. Yeah. On today's episode and last episode.

And I'm going to count this as twice on today's episode. Yeah, so great. Hey, bonus points. I get to use it twice. I prepare. I know. Do you think that's like when you wash the mining tools off and then you read, you know,

like when you wash. the pickax. And then you... You got to use it the next day. You pick again? Yeah, yeah. Come on. We repeat shit all the time on this podcast.

You got to. Wait, so you're on the... So you're going through all these things. Pets is part of this. Yeah, yeah, weirdly. Pets is like lumped in there. And you end up being dispatched ultimately to soda. So then I got placed in soda.

And soda is the only category in all of Target. And I think this is true in most of these, like, kind of big box stores. Soda is the only category that's 100% direct to store delivered by the vendors. So this is your, you know, I love it. Okay, good. Okay, good. Basically. He is excited. Good, good.

Yeah, you can, you and Jimmy can go to sleep. Basically, any big box store has their own distribution network, but for anything that's like super heavy or super high turnover or super perishable or some other weird element, they will just have a specialized vendor deliver it. So like bread is super perishable. so bread vendors do direct-to-store deliver. The term is D-S-D. Milk.

D-S-D. Yeah, D-S-D. He likes shit like that. I was surprised you don't repeat it. D-D-Store delivery. Direct-stor delivery. But every other category is a mix. So there are other business analysts

who have a lot of D-S-D product. And D-S-D you don't order. The vendor brings in. The vendor comes into each store and goes like, all right, we went through this much bread. We need this much bread. Great.

But the bread business analyst has some direct-to-store-deliver stuff and then some package stuff that they have to order themselves. That's what most business analysts do. They order all the product and decide and set up like algorithms to be like this many things have long detergent, whatever, to that store. I was the only 100% DSD business analyst, so I did no ordering.

I basically was hired for a job that everybody else was doing that I did not have to do one goddamn lick of for the entire two years that I was in the seat. And my friends hated me for it. And I would have been bad at that part. But it meant that I would like travel to stores. I somehow weirdly became the node. I would like go into the backroom of a store and have the like national Coke team and the local Coke bottler that's delivering to that store and the head of that store and the lower level person at that store who has to deal with the Coke bottler. And then me and then somebody from the national team on store, like the Target headquarters stores person all together in a back room.

And I was the person who I think cared the least. And so I became the like head negotiator. I, as like a 23-year-old, would be like, who's problem, who's, who, what's the problem in this store back room right now? And then I would like, like, be the diplomat and be like, can you give them more space for this palette? Can you like deliver more on time? All that kind of shit. That's wild. Yeah.

Wow. Anyway, it's not very funny. No, I love that. It's fascinating. Wait, so you had, you, you oversaw like, if a new soda was coming out. If like a new Pepsi varietal. Somebody else would choose that. Would choose that.

I was not in charge of. Got it. But then like when it was being rolled out, I would be the one who would be like, okay, there's going to be a front of store display for that new flavor. And we have to like roll this front of store display out to all 1,100 super targets. But it's not going to be in the P-Fresh, which is a smaller layout, whatever. Is that coming from your own judgment? or is this like, hey, we have some agreement with Sprite

where cranberry Sprite is going to get like a, you know, a standee? More the agree. Uh, 6040. 60, 40, okay. 60 them 40. Was there a new, was there a soda, like, when you got, like, you're in the soda department? And was there a soda you discovered or became a fan of, like, the York peppermint patties through the course of your job?

We were like, like, ooh, this sod is actually. I made a cactus cooler now. You know what's funny? Zivia, the like stevia soda. Oh, yeah. We were always like, that's the fucking virgin loser, lame-ass, dip shit soda that only fucking nerds drink. And now I love it so much and I drink it all the time. And I'm annoyed at myself that I didn't get into it earlier.

I think it is gross, personally. I never liked it. Interesting. I like their ginger ale a lot. And then they have some weird, they have some like ginger root beer. Sure, yeah. The fuck's going on here. I like their cream soda.

Does DSD stand for something else, too? I've been trying, is there, is that a dirty term? It's D'SL. It's D'Sk sucking dad. It's Dissau. Oh, you're thinking of dick sucking dad. Oh, that's what I'm thinking of dick-sucking lips. Oh, that's what I'm thinking of.

That fell out of favor pretty quick. No, no, I think I'm thinking of dick-sucking dad. Yeah. Did you ever, how annoying is and did you, and I guess this should be go first, but did you ever run into the Target lady? Wait, you mean. Kristen Whig? The Target Lady. Oh,

Kristen Whig. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I'm like, I'm really stepping on this fun riff by being like, and now just to clarify, is the joke here that you are, I think I'm too young

for the Target Lady to really. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, all right. Mitch is trying to understand Mitch's cryptic riff is like a very commonplace thing

on the show, so you're not alone there. Target Lady, I don't consider Target Lady old school, but also if you don't, whatever. I just, now I felt, I feel like, I don't even, like a Target Lady, I'm like, this Riff has really imploded for you.

This is really imploded for me. You know Target Lady. I know Target Lady. I didn't know who you were talking about, honestly. I was like, are you guys, do you mean the Coles Lady? Well, this is why I was like, I was like, fuck, who is the Target Lady? And then I was also because I. Oh, sale!

That lady? She worked for you guys at one point? I don't remember those spots. Wait, is this real? No, she's, it's Kristen Wig in Estelle. Are you guys around the same age, I'm guessing? I don't want to ask. We don't need to dox anyone's age.

I didn't want to dox your age, but I was trying to figure out. Guess my age. Guess my, actually, this is one. Do this for 100% real. I will not be offended. I promise. I will rake you over the coals, don't worry. But I, I as a person, will not be hurt.

I guess honestly. I would love to know your guess. My guess, can I, all right. 100% honest. 100% honest. 30. That's your honest guess? Yeah.

100% honest. What my aunt? I was gonna say 31. Wow. This is making my fucking day. I'm 35. Okay, all right. All right.

So I got, I'm coming back of you. You should know the fucking target lady. You gotta know the target lady. I was trying to do the math for him because you said you were 23 when you're working at Target. But then I guess you also said there was a 10 year gap. You live in New York for 10 years. So yeah,

I probably could have reverse engineer that you were in that 35. That's funny because you were both fucking. math majors, which I found out. Did you make a note of it? I did not. I did not make it. You just remembered it.

No, there's not a ton of notes in here. Let's see here. Target lady. If I'm not asked to do stuff, it can't be because I'm not talented enough or funny enough or a good enough actor. It has to be that there's other stuff going on. You know what I'm saying?

For me, that's the way I look like to think. That when things aren't working out, it has to be because of some other... Like forces are working against you? Forces are working against me. It's... It couldn't be the talent or the, that side of it. Certainly.

Do you, do you... This is a joke. I know that I'm not that good. No, no, no, you're very, you're very, you're very good. Everyone loves you of it. But I, but, but do you, uh, do you get down on yourself at all? Oh, constantly. 24-7.

That, good, okay. I was, I, uh, where are we going with this, Chloe? Do you think that I was a person who's very high on my own supply? I couldn't tell, no, because you hadn't read like that. No, Mitch is, Mitch's... You would read like someone who... I came off his confident. This is great.

Our buddy... I'm gonna say it? No, he didn't. That's why I was so shocked. I was like, wow, you really pulled a passion on me. Our buddy is Sean Diston, who work with Mitch on Twisted Metal and Seasons 1 and 2, characterized you as the most neurotic actor he's ever worked with. Because you're always like, you are...

No, no, because you're... Because you're... Because you're like... You have so much self-doubt. It's like an overabundance of Mitch being like, oh, I should have done this, I should do that. Was that okay? Oh, I probably did bad.

Oh, I sucked. And then you're great and everything. You're a very good actor. You're a good man. Thank you. That's kind of you to say. I wasn't digging for that. Yeah.

Most neurotic. Dist didn't get out there. There's more neurotic actors on that set. He may have been a little hyperbolic. Yeah. He was saying it was a compliment. He was saying like you're always good and you're always worried about how you came across. All right.

I just talked about an actor who's more neurotic than me. We're back. We can cover these edits cleaner than that. I know, but that's fun. It's fun to say that. Who knows who it was? It could be anybody. The target lady.

The target lady appeared. Could be the target lady. She's very neurotic, by the way. The Target lady herself. I didn't know this was an S&L character. I thought it was in someone who endorsed Target. No, this is a Kristen Wigg character on S&L. You didn't know the Target Lady?

No, I'm not familiar with this era. He's not too young. December 2005 versus... You always talking about how much he loved the bumblebees from S&L back in the day. That's season one. That is a whole... That's an old reference. 2005 to 2010 is kind of the era when Target Lady was reigning on S&L.

had a bunch of recurring appearances. And then was when Wig came back to do the monologue, did it in a monologue as well. And the 40th anniversary special. So I don't know if it was ever in a Target ad, but anyway, yeah. I don't think she wasn't a Target ad. So anyways, did you meet her?

Yeah, well, I think the dates did not overlap with Chloe. I think that's like we figured out the timeline. Yeah, I'm very young. I was not born then. Okay, you weren't born. Very, very, very, very. When Target Lady was at Target, Chloe was not yet working at Target corporate.

Got it, got it, got it, got it. God, I'm going to ride the high of 30 or 31. Oh, I'm going to live on that. It was a double. We were locked in, we were handholding on that one. I was thinking 31 before Mitch said 30. And I was like, well, now I'm the guy who I went higher than Mitch. I was going to change.

I thought 31, but in my head I said 30 because I thought 30 was just nicer and a rounder, you know, whatever. Being any age is fine. No, no, no. You're right. No, it's not true. No, it's not. The older we get, the less valuable we are. No, it sucks.

That's bad. It's bad. We're all decaying. Is there an age you look forward to now? Is there like one that would be fun to turn? No. When you're younger, like, every birthday now is like a... 69 is funny.

69 is funny. My dad died at 69. So, also scary. Yeah, so yeah, super funny. Good job. You think he's going to come back? You think he was a prank? Yeah.

Got you. Oh, my God. Dad, you did this for 15 years? He'd be 84. He would be all this fuck. Right. He'd be an old man. Wait, now, turn it on you. Guess me and Wiger's age.

Great. You know, it would be nice. You can be honest. 60? Yeah, almost 84. I'm going to do 43. and 44. Wow.

You're younger. Yes. Mitch is younger. I am 45. Okay. Yeah. And I am 43. So one of us was 43.

You got one number correct. You got one number correct. You were really close to that. I'm pretty close. I'm pretty close. Thank you. I like that you undershot it. How does that feel?

I wasn't thrilled. But I can take it. I can take it. How old are you, Jimmy is? Jamie? Two, one maybe. Oh, I love that. Thank you.

She's young. She could work as a child actor. She could... She's got a forever puppy face. Yeah. I've had her for five years. She could work barely legal, you know? Barely legal.

She's like eight, maybe. Maybe. I've had her for five years. I said she was four, but I don't think they were right about that. But, yeah, she's like between five and nine. What are we going to ask? I'm sorry. Is there an age that you're excited to turn? 69 is still up there.

That we're my... I just very much went out. I guess 70. I want to help with my father. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. That's not even true. I don't care if I outlive my dad. That's probably true.

Yeah, probably, probably, I mean, yeah. I guess I would not want to be honest about that. What did he die? Pancoratic cancer, tough one. Yeah, really bad. Not a good one. Yeah. 43, I guess like 50 will be fun to turn it.

Right, right, right? But it's just depressing, right? No, every birthday now is like the fucking Reaper. I think, right, running another line on the chalkboard. I think if you can take the 50 is fun attitude? That's awesome. I think it's good. Yeah, but a lot of people have

lives, like, you really enjoy that decade of their lives. So whatever. I'm not, I'm just accepting aging because what else the fuck else can you do, you know? But it does... Do you remember the late, Molly Shannon's character from us and all that says, I'm 50? Do you remember that? No. Oh, God. I'm the only one who watched that fucking show,

I guess. I stopped, I basically stopped watching as a teenager, so I'm like all of these sketches I'm just not really super familiar with, unless it was something like lazy Sunday that just broke out of the SNL ecosystem. What's Lacey Sunday? It was the Andy Sanberg.

Damn, you weren't watching SNL. I really am. Andy Samberg, Chris Parnell rap about the Chronicles of Narnia and it was like kind of the first. The chronic what calls of Narnia? Oh yeah, yeah, chronic. What calls Narnia?

And then everyone in the world made bad versions of that. Actually, it was kind of the beginning of the end of comedy and men. Not their faults, but I'm saying every. Well, it's the proliferation of the internet. Yeah, that's more the issue. The internet was just happening at that time too. Yeah. I think the internet has been a net negative.

Yeah, definitely. I agree. Certainly for my life. It's like we can spoil it all down to Amelia. Like now Amelia's here. Why is this my fault? I was just trying to fuck. You're more saying you're the end result.

I'm saying you're the end result. Wait. This is a pretty good result again. Shit review videos. That's Amelia does shit review videos. Ooh. Of your own shits? No.

That would be funny. That would be funny. That'd be funny. That'd be funny. I don't think you should review your own shit. I'm not going to do that. They'd all get tens I think also

There will be people who would like like seeing your shit Which is not You don't want to open yourself up to that segment of the audience Amelia loves every shit she takes No that is not true But they all get tens I do always feel better after one Yeah it's true

My mood is bad If I have to poop and I haven't Oh bad nightmare Absolute nightmare And then what's a shit I did realize at a certain point I know I don't always feel good after going to the bathroom That is pretty I don't have

Sometimes you can have an unpleasant BM, but I kind of, I started realizing at some point in my 30s that, like, whether or not I have a good day is kind of a binary attached to whether or not I had a good bowel movement. But I had a good, like, good shit at some point. I was like, if I didn't shit or had a bad shit, or I felt like I had a shit and couldn't or you couldn't stop shitting. I was like, I'm fucking pissed off. You know what I mean? Yeah. But if a normal shit, I'm feeling good. That's a baseline day.

I'm like an electric car is that the gas tank is never empty. Oh, I guess what, the hybrid car. It's just the gas tank always feels like it's high. Interesting. You know what I'm saying? It always feels like, it always feels like I'm full. Have you had a colonoscopy? I have, yes.

Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're saying gas tank. I got like once or twice a month. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got to clear out. Yeah, you can clear it out. It's the only time you're empty is right before colonoscopy. I guess what I'm getting, like, the reason it took me a second to track is because gas also means intestinal gas.

But that's not what you mean. You're comparing. gas, you're petrol to shit. Yeah, petrol to shit. Okay, yeah, I always feel, I never feel like completely. It's what he runs on. It is kind of, it is kind of what I run on. It is.

Duncan and Buka, too. That's the other, the, the, I run on Duncan. Duncan, Duncan, Duncan, Duncan and Bucca. So you were in Minneapolis, were there any, any Minneapolis or growing up, spending most of your childhood in Minnesota, you're in Minnesota, was, were there any, like, local eats that you. Lucy's. It doesn't have to be juicy Lucy, but is there anything immaticular?

What a great question that I should have been prepared for. No, you're fine. Have you had a juicy Lucy? Yes. Yeah, now I have. I didn't eat red meat until I was 29. And I had moved to New York at that point. I went my whole life, no hamburger, no steak, nothing, never.

And you said your mom was a little hippie-dippy-dippie? Parents are both hippies. They were both vegetarian until then when my mom got pregnant with me, she started craving turkey, so they went back to poultry and fish, but like, no red meat in the house. So I didn't grow up. with any, like, affinity for Juicy Lucie's. Now I've, like, gone back and had them. Yeah, what's the local shit?

There were, like... There's two places that, like, claim to have made the Juicy Lucy. Matt and... Something, a number. It's a number in the bar. It's something, right? The fucking... Emma is there.

I'm gonna find it. Yes. 1099 bar? No. The 5A Club. The 5A Club. That's it. We knew there was a number in there.

Matt's, you're right. Matt's bar and the 5A Club. Yeah. So I've had one at Matt's. Um, 1099 is a tax form you get if you're a freelancer. The 1099 bar. That's a good idea. It's a good one.

Bring your 1099 and get a free drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you get it from us? No. You do. No. No. I don't think either of us do for Doe Boys Media, no.

By the way, if the internet resulted with Amelia, then I love the internet. Just so I was trying to get, I was just trying to make funny for two seconds. You got fucking offended. I didn't actually get, I got fake offended. Oh, I hated it. Yeah. I just didn't understand the joke. Yeah, it was a bad joke, too, on top of it.

I feel like the Minnesota State Fair is the, like, core of the of the United eating. That's the, like, the most incredible corn you'll ever have. The most incredible milk you'll ever have, you just go to the dairy barn, and it's like milk that was just milked that day. I mean, it's like crazy shit. Ice cream from that kind of milk, like funnel cakes, the pie contest.

I mean, it is like. You're like seeing the cow that you're drinking the milk. You're seeing the cow, yeah, yeah. It's like, and the cow's smiling. The cow kind of likes it. The cow's gonna, you like that? Yeah, there's like Princess K of the Milky Way, which is a beauty contest for girls who either grew up on a dairy farm

or have worked on a dairy farm. And then the top 12 of the Princess K and the Milky Way get their heads carved in butter. And so you like, a friend of mine was in top 12. Wow. And we go and there's a room that's probably like this big. And it's a rotating refrigerator that's all plexiglass walls. and the girl and a giant slab of butter and then a butter carver are sitting in this freezer. And the contestant has to wear like a zip-up snowmobiling suit, basically, because it's so cold in there.

This is good as hell. And then she gets her head carved in butter. And then you, those are like displayed for the fair. And then you take them home. And the tradition is that the next summer you have a pig roast to use the butter. Wow. I love it. Oh, so the next sound, so you keep the butter for a year.

Yeah, because it's in September. It's like Labor Day weekend, basically. is when this is a part. Damn, so you got to hold on to that big head of butter. Where do you put that big head of butter? Everybody in Minnesota has a chest freezer. You all have a basement freezer for your meat. And then you got a pop fridge in the kitchen,

and then you got a beer fridge in the garage. Got it, yeah. There's all multiple cooling elements. This is interesting because... My future wife, I'm going to get her head carved in butter. I'm going to give that to her as a gift on the wedding or something. I think that would be nice. Many people in the Midwest say pop,

but you're working in the soda division, and you're in Minneapolis. I had to learn, I said pop, and now I say so to because I worked in the... Train yourself out of it. That's wild. I think it's dangerous actually doing that. I might leave my wife for my new butter wife if I did that. Falling up with butter wife and leave my old life.

Mistake her. No, no, no, no. That's not her. You're making out with a... Pressing your face in. If I'm cooking and I got butter on my hands, I'll just put it straight in my face. You can do that. Really?

Yeah. And then recently my boyfriend started to be like, you smell like a croissant. And I, but not in a good way. And I had to stop putting in the water. Yeah, it's not what's wrong with it. I know. I thought it was great, but. Nothing wrong.

Smell like a croissant. There's much worse things to smell. Thank you. That butter might be responsible for a useful glow. Thank you. Thank you. See? Yeah.

You know what? And this thing. You know, you know what I'm doing at the end of the day today? I'm going to go home. I'm going to rub some butter on my face. And maybe my body, why. There you go. Yeah.

Why not? If the youthful glow works. Maybe jack off with some of it in his shower. Hey, and then some of it gets in my mouth. I meant the butter, to be clear. We have a mutual friend in Ryan Perez, the great Ryan Perez. The great Ryan, Fred. You met him when you were working.

A great movie man. That's what I call him. The great movie man? Yeah. Perez is what you disagree? He's a movie man. He has a great. movie podcast. He does.

I'm gonna need a movie with Anne Reiman. Yeah. It's a, he's a, he's a fascinating man to talk to about film and when he agrees with your opinions or when, even better, when he voices something and it's what you thought about it, then you're like, oh man, I feel, I feel smart as fuck. But on the other side, when you say, well, I like this and he said, man, care for, yeah, I thought suck too. Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot. Yeah. I'm a fucking idiot. Yeah. It's like when the kid at school, it's like the same sort of thing. Like, like, like, oh, this grape soda's because, oh, grape soda is nasty. Yeah, I hate this stuff.

You know, like, you're just trying to impress him. You're just trying to impress him, yeah. But he's the best. Yeah, he's the best. And I did not know, I knew kind of nothing about movies when we first met. And then I, like a year later, sort of accidentally sold a movie off a verbal pitch without meaning, like kind of not realizing what was going on, had to learn how to write a movie. And now have become sort of a movie guy. Was never a movie guy.

I had never, like, had never seen any, had seen Zoolander 50 times because I, like, I had never had seen Zoolander 50 times because I. I had the VHS had seen. You know, like, that was Tommy Boy and Apollo 13. And those were sort of my solid ones. I have no comms of this. I am, I think. Good lineup. Not a bad lineup.

We've talked about this before where people were like, name your letterbox top four or whatever. And it's always just like, shut the fuck up for two seconds. Like, I would more likely say Tommy Boy than I would. You know, Tommy Boy was in, I have done, I have been letterbox topped four. Wow. And I. Oh, I got to watch it.

I said, and I look like a fucking doofus because I know so little about movies that I, they literally said, this is cut out of the video, but they said, do you know what letterbox is? And I said, no. I'm on a red carpet. Target lady at least. And I said, Zoolander, dumb and dumber, Tommy Boy, and then I said Ella enchanted, which is the Anne Hathaway one, that's not what I meant. I meant ever after with Drew Barrymore. That is in my top four But that's like how little I know about movies that I just Also I was just like nervous and felt under pressure But I feel like so many people were trying to say

Like Cassavetes and things like that People are trying to yeah people are trying to impress Yeah exactly Like like which by the way Are good I'm not I like that stuff too But we let it's fun to like It's fun to like the pulpy dumb shit I said does Tommy boy hold up

And like the one of that was like Because it was a compilation one I wasn't, Tommy Boy holds up. I love Tommy Boy. And everybody was like, Tommy Boy definitely holds up, Tony Boy.

That was like the, one of the biggest, you know, comment frauds. Yeah, I love Tommy Boy. That movie meant a lot to me as well. It's up there.

Well, can I ask you what your top four would be? Eminemps in the dash or really ups the resale value. I can't remember because I've, I think of candy coating. I do have a top four on my letterboxed account.

Do you have that? Want me to look it up? Yeah, look it up. What is right now? I don't. have my top four in my letterbox top four. Yeah.

I was like one of the first things I did. I was like, oh, this is fun. I think I got a couple anime in there. I got a, look at what mine is right now. It's probably not. I think First Reformed is in there right now. Mm, okay.

Maybe look back. What's in there? Princess Monanoque. I love it, it's great choice. Star Wars. Yeah, good movie. First Reformed and look back. I'm not trying to impress anyone.

Wait, Star Wars? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Star Wars is a good movie. Mine, I mean... The first one? Yeah, just put Star Wars in there. I guess I don't have my...

I guess I don't have a top four. You know what else has Star Wars in their top four? Zach Snyder, Mitch. Wow. We love Snyder and Weiger. Are you Snyderheads? We're Schneiderheads. I'm sure, I love the Snyderverse.

LA Confidential Sender, housemaid, and Marty Supreme, which seems like the four last movies I have logged. I feel like. That's not my top four. But is that what people are seeing for my top four? one of them is a movie I'm in. No, I think you have to, like, top four is a separate thing.

You, like, go to your account, it says what your top four is. Okay, okay, okay. What would be your top four? Top four of all time? Oh, my God. This is, I mean, Goodfellas would be one of them. This is the hardest thing in the world. No, well, now, you're a movie person now, and things have changed.

But is that still your top four? Yeah, totally. I'm very bad at picking favorites, and I'm bad at, like, instant recall. But so it is, like, what are the things that I know that? I mean, it is truly dumb and dumber is, I think, number one. Yeah. Yeah. And then we're, then it is like, whatever, however falls into place.

Yeah, however it falls from there. I think, um, I really do love self-park the movie and I love Goodfellas. Okay. Those are those two? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Oh, I think I said Gattaca as one of my other top four. I fucking love Gattaca.

I love Gattaca. I love Gattaca. And I, I, I just did a podcast like talking about movies and Gattaca was, Gattaca was like one of the movies where I went to a movie theater of my freshman year with this guy who like I just became friends with. And there was no other movie. And it was like, we could go see Gattaca. And then it was one of those movies that I saw just on a whim. And it was like, oh, a movie that looks like kind of like fancy and like not my style can be good.

Like I was shocked about that it was like such a good find that I knew nothing about. It was like, oh, you should try more stuff. Yeah. No, it's it's if you're wondering if Gattaca holds up. I rewatched Gatigah last year, and it absolutely goes. It totally does. All that to say is now I feel like I know enough about movies. I'm not, I'm not, I like can't rattle them off.

Yeah, sure, of course. Two of yours, I'm like, I've never heard of them. But I now can have what I think is like a cogent opinion about a movie that I just saw and have now been able to talk with Ryan about movies. And I'm like, you train with him. I kill Bill. I am doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. The student has not yet become the master. You mentioned Zoolander. Did Perez ever tell you his Terrence Malick Zoolander story? He met Terrence. So we used to work at both worked at Funnier Day at the same time. We were on a lot, and this was the lot where the studio lot where Terence Malick, the reclusive director, was doing sound for one of his movies, maybe Night of Cups. And so we just see Terence Malick walking around and be like, like, oh, he's hit.

That's fucking Terrence Malik. He's right there. And one day, Perez and Bug Main just go up to him and just talk to him. And they introduced himself and he's just like, hi, I'm Terry Malick. He's just like so friendly. But he mentions that Perez is like, I work at Funny or Die. And he's like, oh, that's Will's company, right? Meaning Will Ferrell.

Oh, I love that Zoolander. I hope they make a Zoolander too. So there you go. That's amazing. That's so good. I love that. I wonder if we watched Zoolander too. He probably did.

I wonder what he thought about it. I loved it. Yeah. I was good. The guy who made the thin red line. Really funny. It's fun of like stuff that like, which people will be mad at me because I will shit on movies a lot in here.

But it's fun to like junk. I like a lot of junk. Yeah. You can like anything. Oh, also like. Starship troopers up there too. It's a good movie. Totally.

And like stuff that is. That's not even junk, I guess. Right. Well, that's the thing is like I don't think Zoolander is junk. No. I think with the way people look at them, like, it's like whatever movies. People cast it aside, but what they're not, they're not delineating, there's like broad and commercial in an artistic and successful way. Yeah.

And then there is broad and commercial that is junk. Yeah. And people just see. Jackass boys are artists themselves. That's true. Oh, the jackass movies. Are you, as someone who's a fairly recent convert to cinema, do you have favorite movie snacks? Like are you someone who goes to the theater and you're like, like, I got it out of my popcorn?

Or are you someone when you're sitting on the couch? You're like, I like some pretzels. I just said you can't fuck up movie pins, but this you can fuck. Wow. With the doughboys. Don't do us wrong here. That's just speaking only for himself. I mean, look, I fucking love a giant, too big, bigger than you can imagine thing of popcorn.

Wow. That's what? One of us is a popcorn. I'm a bit of a popcorn skeptic. I'm more of a nachos guy. Yeah. A nachos in a movie theater. In a dark movie theater where you're going to spill hot plastic cheese all over yourself?

And I'm a terrible spiller and I do it all the time. And you know what? I'm still loving them. Wow. That's impressive. Yeah. I was never really a nachos person growing up. I grew up in a hippie household so it's like we never had that kind of cheese, you know?

And it wasn't, it didn't happen to be a like we never had it so I want it. It happened to be a like, I don't really. Because I had the most were Tostitos with Mexican cheese crumbled on and then put in them baked or put in the microwave. Yeah, yeah, we would have that. Yeah, sure.

That's fine. I had that a lot. I had oven fucking nachos, but I also would like, I get every kind of nacho. I had Taco Bell nachos. I was having fucking... Kind of like white trash nats.

Every white trash nashers is a lot of Mexican nachos. And I'd also like the ballpark nachos with the nacho cheese. I like that. I like all of it. I think I thought that the nacho machine in a movie theater

was for show. Wow. I don't think I have ever seen anybody walking around with a thing of nachos. This guy's nacho mad. He loves nachos. Walk me at the theater. I'll probably have some. Now, is it possible that this is a Southern California thing?

I could be, but I think I like I'm kind of unique among moviegoers and not liking popcorn. I think some people still fancy popcorn out here. I think popcorn to nachos is what are we saying? 90 to 10. Like, it's going to be way more. Yeah, of course. But I'm saying like, I'm saying like in the Midwest,

nobody eats nachos in a movie theater. I certainly think nachos are Sound off, sound off. I was about to say, in the comment. They'll sound off and they will be, there's going to be people eating nachos. I eat nachos all the time. I'm doing it right now. This is fucking wrong. The, I, I mean, we can get the New England take. It seems like we're already kind of getting that from Mitch. But like, I feel like, nachos are omnipresent in Southern California because there's so much Mexican. I worked in the movie theater and I exchanged out the nacho cheese bag and that baby was fucking hot.

Wow. It was a big plastic bag that I was putting in the fucking thing and I was burning your hands. Did he give you gloves? Yeah, probably. You know what's fun. You got these big balls. Yeah, this kind of big. Do you ever get calluses from the nacho burns?

Yeah, from the nacho burns. That was 18 years old. It was the cows from the nachobers. I will just be dumb and hold it. I mean, that job was, it was a fun job, but it was the year before I went to college and I was like barely in there, but there's a hot cheese.

By barely in there, you mean barely, barely in there. You're in the movie theater, but are you present? I wasn't present and I was barely in there in general. Mitch is often barely in there. I've had a lot going on. You saw a ghost the other day. That's a lot going on for me. We didn't go back into the ghost.

The ghost. Do you think the ghost has seen you jerk off? It's a great question. Definitely. I mean, this incident, which I recalled on last week's episode, happened in a common space, happened in our living room. That's not a place I jack off. Sure. You're just outside of the shower.

Yeah, you know, enough distance to challenge yourself, but I'm shooting that wad street into the drain. Like a normal guy I'm jacking off normal style How much distance we're talking Are you outside the apartment? Trying to bank shot from the hallway But no I'm also like

It's also just getting older I'm not much of a jerking off guy What am I going to do? I'm going to jack off What am I going to go to the movie theater I'm going to get a thing of nachos I'm going to jack off into the nachos What am I'm cutting a hole in the nachos

That is funny Cut a hole in the nachos and have a guy So that your girlfriend can stick her entire hand in nachos. Jesus Christ. She pulls out her hand as covered in nacho cheese. I just wanted my handful of nachos. I didn't want your fucking dick.

It's good. His dick isn't even in the chip section. It's in the hot nacho sauce. Just waiting. She's not even noticing. She's just dipping into it and not noticing. That ain't nach sauce. I disagree with you.

I mean, like, I guess as you get older, like sketch comedy is a young man's game. Jacking off and sketch comedy, young man in game. Oh, I really keep waiting for you to pivot back to movie theaters. Sorry, sorry. No, I don't care. I don't, I don't care. I just keep, you were like, earlier you were like,

and now we're talking about jacking off and I wasn't. I kept being like, great, perfect, we keep finding these. I'll talk about it forever. I have a fucking, it's all I ever talk about. all I ever do is tell dick jokes. We'll get back. We're going to get back to the snacks. Okay.

He told his story about this ghost the other day. And I, me and Ranch both did not, I did not have like a pleasant night at my house last night. Headgums, Rochelle Chen, uh, ranch, the nickname, uh, our producer for get played is a. I now feel much better that a day has been removed from it. And I have gone home and been in my house for her night. And I've been safe. She, she slept with a light on. I've not had another encounter with the ghost since that incident.

So we'll say. It's been 24 hours. Well, you don't need a docs that we're recording these episodes on consecutive days. They're coming out a week apart. We're in the fucking content minds, dude. We've been here all fucking, I don't know, forget what the fucking sun looks like. When you strike a vein, you got to stay in that vein. That's 100%.

It's true. It's right. That's true. You don't let that go? We've, so far, there's nothing in them hills. There's nothing in them, Doe Boys hills. I'm a, I love popcorn. So I will always, it makes, it hurts my stomach more than maybe anything else in the world now.

Yeah, I don't do well with that anymore. Oh, because of the drug? No, not because of the GLP one, but because of, it just, I think, as I've gotten older, it just is, whether it's the butter or the popcorn itself, it's just like, it will, I will, I will, I will, the next day, or the next couple days, I'll maybe be in trouble. It's a heavy snack.

It's a heavy snack. I know, I don't know what it is. I don't know what happened. I hate it. I hate that. That's crazy because I feel like it's the lightest snack possible. I think if you 80, that's second to like rice cakes. Boy, I don't know.

I think slathering and butter and I think also it's just like, I'm not sure how fibrous it is, but it seems kind of fibrous. I never put butter on. And corn itself will hurt my stomach too, so I'm like, oh, I don't do well with corn, it seems like in general.

Maybe I shouldn't eat it. Just to digest famously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But a big popcorn and a Coca-Cola for me that's, I'm happy. Yeah, I love a big soda. I'm always getting a big soda, a big honking soda.

Yeah, and cutting a hole in the bottom of it. Yeah, you got it. Reach in there. And then you got it. You want to drink? Sure. Oh, my God. You want to drink and she's reached into the soda?

We get a handful of soda real quick. Whoa. Soggy ice cube. Soggy ice cube. Your wet, cold dick? It's so small. You put a French baguette in your fucking... So you work with some.

No, speaking of movies, you've worked with some, like, and I know one was a series, but, like, you worked with some huge movie directors. I mean, Bradley Cooper and also Steven Soderberg on Command Z. I just, like, can't, I'm such a Soderberg fan. I can't imagine it must have been so cool to work with him.

He is a weird, weird genius. Yeah. I've said it before, but Soderberg, one of my favorite directors, one of my favorite meal combos. Soda Bert and a Burr. You have said that before. Okay. But you know what?

Put that one down, the notes so you can use that again. No, because he doesn't need to... He's got that up here. That one's off the top of my head. That's like, yeah, yeah, that's one of my famous bits that I can go right back to. Okay, here's a food, here's a Soderberg

and food thing. So I am a... I have struggled with binge eating for my whole life and I know that I don't look like a person who has struggled with binge eating, but it's like very much a, like, a defining factor in my life. Sure. And so crafty is the... she doesn't want to hear it. I also shouldn't have said, sure.

I don't know why I ever responded with sure. No, no, no, no. I don't. So crafty, like, any crafty is my fucking, like, it is my kryptonite. Because it's there and it's free. And my whole, I think it probably comes from, like, food insecurity when I was a kid. And then it, like, has just metastasized into, like, if it is there, I must eat it. Like, it was, I, like, had to move back away from the table to be like, just stop eating.

You're done for the, for the Bucas, right? Which was easy for some of us also. Yeah. Not to tee it up too much, but, yeah. And for me, that's the thing, is that I'm like, I'm not, quality does not have an impact whatsoever. I will eat the worst dog shit because it is there. And so Crafty fucking drives me insane in a great way. No, in a terrible way, but I really have fun with it.

And for the Soderberg thing, whoever was in charge of Crafty had gone to Trader Joe's and had gotten all of the weirdest, wackyest Trader Joe snacks. and I got a, like a cereal bowl of multiple, I had, like, put little segments of various snacks into this paper cereal bowl. And I was trying to leave, I think it was just the end of the day. And we were shooting in Soderberg's office. He, like, I think he's since sold it, but at the time he owned two floors of an old office building in Tribeca. Okay. And he had turned one of the floors into the set that we shot on. and the other floor was for production.

And so it's like this old, old building and these tiny, narrow little stairwells. And I, some, I was, I had to leave down this narrow little stairwell. And Soderberg and Michael Sarah and a PA are standing on this narrow, tiny, tiny little landing. And I had to like inch by them. And then I was just trying to go down the stairs. And with my back to them, Soderberg goes, what do you got there? And I froze.

and I said, I turned, and out loud I said, she slowly turns to reveal her dog food bowl, which I think is a really funny line. That is a funny line. I like it. Make me laugh. The PA can't do anything if nobody else is doing anything, right? The PA is standing there frozen.

Michael Sarah, nice guy, I don't know if he just wasn't there in the moment. He gave me absolutely fucking nothing. And Soderberg has an incredible sense of humor, but almost never laughs, like has a twinkle in his eye, but never, never, never makes a sound. And so I just said that to absolute dead silence, Michael Sarah Steven Soderberg and a scared 20-year-old staring at me. And then nobody was reacting.

And so then I just took the time to walk them through each one of the snacks that was in the cereal bowl. And then everyone sort of went, okay. And I just turned and walked down the stairs and like ate it. in shame, I guess. Was Michael in the movie with you? Yeah, in the series, yeah. Oh, series, sorry.

Yeah. When I want to sound fancy in an entertainment industry meeting, I call it a mini-series. There you go. If I'm being real, it was a very expensive web series. You know how crew calls a movie a show? Like, what show are they called, do you know how, you know how it's that? They call movies shows. Yeah.

What show is that? He was in the show with me. A-I-I-C-Gy guy, so maneuver. Yeah, I'm like, cut the shit. It's a fucking movie. I don't know. I like it. It's like, oh, they teamsters are talking.

You don't get back to work, Teamster. Get back in line. We'll pick up that electrical that I can't pick up. We have our lunch breakdown. I'm going to go to the front of the line. Which they allow actors to do, and I, not only do they allow actors to do it, but they often are like, go to the front. You have to get your food.

And I hate it more than anything because you, like, it feels so. Yeah, it's all crew guys waiting. You're like, oh, good. I get to get in front of this person. And it's bullshit. But anyways, Michael Sierra was on the show. I love Michael, the great guy.

I saw him the last time I was in New York. This is, we're walking by, and Michael Sierra recognizes Mitch and says, that's awesome. Yeah, he's great. But he gave me nothing on this one. He gave me absolutely fucking nothing. Yeah, that's rough stuff. And then for the rest of the shoot, anytime Soderberg and I were at Krafty together, he would be like, you need to, you got enough there?

I was like, mean? And I think at one point he was like, you wanted to go bag, and I just grabbed one of the big garbage bags that's taped to the wall, and I was like, I think I got one. It was a very fun bit, but I was like, you're here with me. You're right crafty with me, the same times. That one moment you had right there is what I deal with every single day on Dope Boys, basically.

Sure. This is why you're staring at me. I look over here, these two are just staring at me. You delivering an A-plus-plus, line. Yeah, me saying like, hey, did you ever meet the Target lady? I look over here. There's no one laughing.

Are you referring to a character created by Kristen Wig? Is this what you are implying in this joke construction? Fucking dead eyes behind the counter over there. They're on the clock. I know, I know. I know they're on the clock. That means they should be laughing. I agree.

Thank you, Amelia. That's, knowing that Soderberg has a good sense of humor and, doesn't laugh, Mitch is great for you to know when you do your... Yeah, that's what I'm doing back here. When you do your Soderberg line for him. Oh, when he doesn't laugh at Soderberg? Oh, no, I think that I could break him. You think he'd break him with Soderberg.

Even though he's known to be a guy who doesn't laugh, I think I could break him with Soderberg. Hey, one of my favorite meal combos. Do you let him put it together on his own? Like, do you say, like, do you just point out, do you say his name? You Soderberg. Oh, one of my favorite meal combo. Yeah, it's also funny for me to be like, Oh, your name's Soderberg?

Like, I don't know who the fuck this guy is. Imagine you're meeting him for the first time. He's like, I'm Steven Soderberg. Okay. Soderberg. Hey, I love you. And I also, you're my favorite meal confound. He's ever going to work?

I don't think it will work. I don't think it's going to happen. Does he have to do the calculus or are you going to help hold his hand with it? Like Soda and a Berg. Soda Berg must have thought at some point that his name is like Soda and Burger. He has to have thought about this. You think as a kid maybe he was like Soda Burger or something. Cool.

Like, I have two of the cool things. He must have thought about this. You can figure this out for us at some point. You want me to text him? Yeah, text him. You should text him. You should text him. I got to.

I. You somehow get fired from the show. I can remove, digitally removed. They're going to Kevin Spacey you and all the money in the world. They're going to put Kevin Spacey into your role. That's not bad. That's not bad. Who did take over?

Who did they? Who did they digitally zoom in for... They replaced him with an actor, oh, very well-known, older actor whose name I can't pull right now. Not that well-known. Yeah, they'll know. We can look it up.

But he's a... Amelia's searching for Kevin Spacey Databank. He got the replacement got nominated for an Oscar, which is kind of insane to get a supporting actor. Oh, right, yeah. Just for like an appearance where it's like all, like, oh yeah, I was it old.

It was an old fuck. It's a very... It's a very... I can't remember. Well, don't call him the old fuck. No, he's good. He's good. He's good.

He's very good. Uh, God, why can't? Whatever. This is, this is the issue. We'll look at all the money in the world. Look at who the actor was. Okay, so we got to talk Bucca DeBapo. Where are you with Italian food?

Is that like one of your favorite foods? I just had the most acidic burp. I think I've never had. Yeah. I hate those feelings. Christopher Plummer. Christopher Plummer. That's who it is.

Great actor. His last name a lot is like a profession. Yes, right. Say that. Plummer. And also like a food. In a way, plums are food. They definitely call farmers plumbers.

Yeah, you're right. I don't. Oh, wait. I thought she was backing up there. She was being a fucking wise ass. They should. And it's also a food-based name in a way, Christopher Plummer. How about Christopher Plummer?

Hey, you have something in common with my favorite video game hero. Mario also a plumber. Who's that? Maybe he'll pull a fucking target lady on me. I don't know. He might love Mario. He might pull a Terry Malick and tell you like, oh, I love that Mario. He's an Italian.

Christopher Plummer must have thought about how his plum is... I'm going to take him the segue. I set that right up for you. Yeah. Oh, he's a talent. Oh, what do you think of a... I thought of it? Like, should I get...

No, what does Christopher Plumber think of? He must have thought of it. by how his name, like he must have been like plum is in his name. I'm sure that's a thing that's an observation he had. That's all I'm saying.

But wait, what were you trying to segue me back to you? We'll get back on it right now. Just Italian food. I'd ask about Italian food. What do you think of Italian food? What do you think of Italian people?

Go. Italian people. Dumb. Agree. All right. You're one for one so far. Great. Italian food.

Here's what I think of Italian food. I like making Italian food. because it feels like you can actually make pretty good Italian food at your own house. Like if you figure out the pasta water starch, whatever, whatever. I don't know that I have ever had Italian food at a restaurant. And I've had like really excellent Italian food at a restaurant.

I don't know that I've ever had excellent Italian food that I think is excellent beyond the first bite or two and that I remember. That's okay. I know that that is a really, I think if anybody... Millie is pissed off. if, but this is at a restaurant. I bet if I went to somebody's, like, also, I should say,

this does not apply to the Italian food that I've had in Italy. Italian food I've had in Italy is like a different. Different categories. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking of, like, fancy restaurants in New York. Where have you been in, not restaurants, but where, which, what parts of Italy have you visited? Rome, Florence, uh. Venice.

Tuscany. Oce inco-terra. The first three I went to Rome, Venice, and Florence. I never been. You would? You think I'd like Italy? You think I'd like the boot? You think I would?

Yes. Wait, you think so? Yeah, he'd love it. Why is that? Because it's walkable? You would like history. In transit? Oh, I do like history.

I think you just like places. I like places. It is. It is walkable. He doesn't really been hypnotized by this man. He likes things. Whenever we travel, But where we travel you...

Sometimes I'm very sour. Sometimes I'm a very sour place. There's some places he does not like. You have not toured with us long enough. You have, you don't, like... Italy is one of the most placey places, though. Yeah. Yeah, it's the placeiest place.

It really feels like a place. But would you... Would he like, like... Would he like the UK more than he would like Italy? I don't know. I think he would like Italy better. What I would like about the UK is, because, you know, I'm always talking to strangers. So, like, you know, like me...

Again, I mentioned this, but me speaking, like, like, just... enough Japanese. I got to chop it up with a bunch of people when I visited Japan and that was like really fun. So like what I like

about the UK is I don't speak any Italian so I'd kind of be a loss in terms of just starting up a conversation with a random guy to speak any romance languages? No. I'm Spanish.

Spanish, yeah. Then you're fine. Spanish and Italian are the exact same thing pronounced differently. Wow, okay. They are so fucking similar. They're much more similar.

So like I studied French for a while and then I went to Italy for three weeks when I was, whatever, 16. And then came back, couldn't keep taking French. I'm such a fucking, I didn't have sex in high school.

I came back, I couldn't keep taking French because it conflicted with... Why did you look at me? Honor ban. I mean, you were right to do it, but I just want to know why you looked at me. You know, I guess so much sense it. I did not have sex in high school either, and it was a few more years after that as well

until it finally went down. You went to Italy. Basically, I couldn't keep taking French because it conflicted with it. honor band and I had been first chair clarinet for two years in a row and I wasn't going to give that up. This is insane. This is wild.

We were both math majors. We both played Ward Wins. I played, I started on clarinet. I was first chair clarinet for a time, but I transitioned to double reads. I started playing bassoon. I also played saxophone. I played saxophone. I played saxophone the jazz bandit, but I became a very accomplished high school, but

bassoonist. Yeah. That's very cool. That's awesome. But your first chair clarinet, that's amazing. Thank you. What kind of read you use? I think I was a three and a half Van Doren.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. I used the Vandorans. And Vandorans are sort of a half step higher than other reeds. Yeah, three and a half is pretty stiff reed. So three and a half, Van Doren is like a four or anything else. You guys were fucking, I'd make sense. You guys were not fucking in high school.

Oh, this read talk and the math talk, I didn't have sex because I just am unpleasant. Yeah, yeah. Here's the thing about reads. So it goes from one to five. It's like the fork score. So the number five read is the stiffest. Now, Charlie Parker, who was a legendary jazz saxophonist, an alto saxophonist who died very, very young, was a drug addict.

He, like, died at 36. We're guessing ages earlier. The coroner guessed he was like 65. Really? His body was that just ruined by drug use. But he was fucking incredible. He played on a number five read. And this is in the book about him bird that got adapted in the Clint Eastwood movie.

And it's like a number five read is so stiff that a lot of people can't even play on it. Like, I couldn't even make a sound on a number five ring. But he was just like, like, yeah, it's just natural to me. It's just how, like, photo. But it makes much more precise sound. Makes much more precise sound. That's cool. So the more, like, three and a half, I would usually do, like, a three.

And the thing that was a pain in the ass with double reads is you kind of at a certain point have to get into readmaking, which is a little bit of woodcraft that I was like not. I'm not necessarily as into this. Like my bassoon teacher having, like, me and some other bassoon kids over there, like doing a day long fucking readmaking workshop. And I'm just like. What are you talking about? Your bassoon teacher invited you over to fucking whittle stuff together

It seems strange. You think she was grooming us? We were having a good time. That's what they all say. She said I was special. She said I was very handsome. Lovely woman. How long does it read last?

I mean like a double read. Depends on how hard you play it. Double read you could stretch out for a while because they're like expensive and like again cumbersome to a construction. Customize. What would you? Like a couple months?

A couple months. Yeah, you can get a couple months. A single reads are a little bit more disposable, and the single reads also break more easily. I was breaking reads all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was swapping those bad boys out. You're playing that bad boy too hard.

At the end. I was. Oh, okay, shit. Yeah, that sucks. And you can still play it when it's chipped or cracked, but you can, like, feel it be less precise. I was, I played saxophone I was told to quit by the music teacher. This is true.

Yeah. What? Mr. Gulenelli told me to quit. How long did you play? Oh, wait, was Mr. Goulinelli or was another guy? I think it was another guy. See, you fucking Italian. I know.

Yeah, no shit. Mr. Gulenelli sounds like an Italian ghost. Mr. Gulenali. Ha ha ha ha. I played for probably like two months or something. Yeah. It's very short period of time. Not really the same thing.

So what kind of, do you have a song or what kind of clarity have? Ooh, over here. I was trying to like something. Oh, gooo. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.

That was good. I played my mom's wood. It was an old wood horn that she played in the 60s, I guess. Wood horn, though. Okay. It must have got a nice sound out of that, that boy. It's a good clarinet. And the reason, my music teacher, when we tested in fourth grade, she was like, please play drums.

We do not have anybody in your grade. I remember her saying this to me. We don't have anybody in your grade who has a good sense of rhythm and you have a good sense of rhythm. We need somebody to be in percussion. And I was like, nope, I want to play clarinet. just like my mom. And I could have been the sexy drum girl.

And I really, I regret that to this day. My nephew plays drums. He's a great jazz drummer. He's cool as hell. But it's like, that's the sort of thing, like you find out as you get older

that drummers are always in demand. It's like, like, every band is like looking for a drummer. And it's the hottest thing. It's awesome. It's really a bummer that I've missed that. There's some dork drummers, too. Don't worry.

There's, I'm saying it's not a garret. It's not like it's the coolest thing in the world. There's some, Dorky drummers. How dare you. It's lashing out. They're not all hot. They're not all sexy.

My mom and dad would not allow loudish. Like they would not let me. I wanted to play drums. And they're like, no. Like, we're not going to have that in our house. And I was like, okay. People good sense of rhythm? No.

I was trying to see if I did. I was like, I can keep a beat, I feel like. I'm a singer. I can sing. Okay. Wags knows this. You are a good singer. You have a lovely voice.

Do you like karaoke? I like karaoke. I like karaoke. I like karaoke a lot, is what I was trying to say. You want to take it again? I like karaoke a lot. That might we can use that retake. What's that?

Do you want to list them off? Yeah. Are they in my notes app? Wait, they're in the notes app. I have a karaoke notes. I don't. You have a karaoke song notes? I don't, but I have like some songs in my head.

I mean, I used to, I can't really do it as much anymore since because of MAGA, but I used to do the Lee Greenwood's, God Bless the USA, which was, we had to learn that by Heart and Boy Scouts. So I just go up and belt that one out and usually the bar would enjoy. But nowadays it feels too loaded. I usually do Elvis. And I'll do like Teddy Bear or I'll do Viva Las Vegas. Burning Love is a little challenging, but sometimes I'll stretch and do that one.

So yeah, it's usually what I'm for. That's nice. Yeah. I'll sing portions of each song and you can guess what they are. Time is never time at all. Tonight, tonight. And it's smashing pumpkins. Smash pumpkins.

It's been a long December, and there's reason to believe. Those, I mean, they're not in any order. Should be on beat Shazam. I wasn't getting these. What's that? I said, you should be on Beach Shazam. I wasn't getting these. Oh, yeah.

You should be on Beat Shazam. You thought about going on Beat Shazam? I don't know what, it's Beach Shazam, I think. I don't know if it still exists. It was a game show at a certain point where they, you see how quickly you can guess a song. Yeah. I don't know if that is still around either way. I have no idea.

Drops of Jupiter. I brandy, you're a fine girl. That's my karaoke song too. Looks like we're going to do a duet of it at some point on the road. Good. We told the story before, but we were doing karaoke, or we were at a bar that had karaoke in Seattle. Amelia goes up there and starts doing your song.

Which song was it? It was Four Non Blonde's What's Up? She's doing Four Non Blond's What's Up. And it's one of those things where they have visualizations on a big, a big projector behind the singer. The visualizations on Amelia's is just so. soft-core pornography. And me and Mitch and Jordan Morris are all just like,

you know, and you're like, so what the fuck is going on up there? She's just got porno up there. And you don't know. No, they asked for my, they asked for my permission beforehand. They're like, look, there are two versions of the video because it's the most popular karaoke song, so they have a video ready for it. They're like, we have two versions. There's the naked ladies.

Is it really the most popular karaoke song? I mean, I don't know statistically, but it's pretty popular. Enough that it has two videos. Yeah. We got the version without the. naked ladies and we got the version with the naked ladies and I was like we're gonna do naked lady but from our

standpoint we're just singing we're just watching her sing thinking she's oblivious to what's being displayed behind her and at a certain point a woman who's not in our group goes up to Amelia just to tell her like like you know what's on the screen behind you and then you're like yeah and you feel like yeah I was like yeah I asked for it of course yeah I sang that in

Columbia and they knew three they knew like three English speaking song yes the nation of Columbia. The nation of Columbia. Colombia. Colombia.

And Frailbott sign me off for non-blon's and put my name as El Grande Gringo. How about that? And then I sang it. And then the bar, the guys at the bar were like, El Grande Gringo. They were saying it a bunch. But it was a very fun memory. A great karaoke song. What are, what, I'll say like the ones that I sing more so are like, only living

boy in New York and sister golden hair and stuff like that. But what are your go-toes? If I want to show off, it's Valerie by Amy Winehouse. Okay. If I want to... Amy Winehouse. Wow. And I can't, I can't, you know, I can't compete with Amy Winehouse, but I can make the song sound good.

Yeah, sure. Or if I want to unite the room, it's Lips of an Angel by Hinder. Okay. That's a good one. But recently, I've been trying to get into eye to eye by Tevin Campbell, the Goofy Movie. Oh, my gosh. It's an incredible song. Let's see

As good as I once was Toby Keith This Kiss, Faith Hill I'm really I got my mindset on you George Harrison Oh I love that one Torn Natalie and Bruglia It's great Let's see

Oh just a girl by no doubt Is a really is a That's a If I'm mad Oh it's great She's I'm realizing like I She's gone Christian

What I really want to do sometimes Is somebody is called Christian Yes Post marriage to the country? Wait, Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't know if it's post, but like, yeah, around the same time, maybe? Around the same time, damn.

Or maybe that's why they recorded. Sold out. I'm realizing what I want to do, and they never do it karaoke, but I should just do it at some point is like a Disney Princess song. Oh, you should totally do it. Like a part of your world. I love that song. Emma, did you have, I know you're, you only did do karaoke if you're trash, but do you

have any karaoke go-toes? I couldn't tell you a karaoke song I've sung in like 10 years. I mostly find karaoke cringy, although I really enjoyed watching you guys do it. So maybe I'm turning around on this as I get older. But yeah, most of the time I just watch other people do it. I never liked karaoke until I moved to New York. And then kind of overnight, I loved karaoke. Maybe I should give it another shot.

Maybe I've grown out of my dislike. To be cringe is to be free. That's Oscar Wild. Oh, Oscar Wild. The hottest song for a woman to nail is Let Me Love You by Mario. Oh, okay. I like that. Yeah, and it is, I have a low voice and it is in my register, and it is like, it's very good.

I got one. I've, like, watched a man fall in love with me while I was singing. Wow. It's fun. That's fun to see it happening. Do you have a hot a song for Amanda to sing? Unwritten by Natasha Medi-Pedule. I have one on here, and I think it's a great segue.

Go for it. Scenes from an Italian restaurant. Wow, how about that? It's good. Pretty good. So what about when the moon hits your eye? Like a big pizza pie. That's that.

That's fun. That is fun. I've said this before, but the Italian song, I remember we were in like an Italian bar after it was with, I think it's after a dough boy. Were you there? What? I don't know. What do you give us some more details? Was it Dominic the donkey?

No, not Dominic. It sounds like that, though. It's like a. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Who was this? Like, Mulavitsa, and then he does sing, and then he's like, second stanza.

You know what I'm talking about? This is, I think, around a doughboy show. You maybe went home. I don't remember this. And all the Italian people in the bar started, like, clapping and singing the song together. But that... I was like, I'm glad I went home.

You did, you made the right thing. I'm surprised you stayed. I mean, it's true. I want to say the best sandwich I've ever had in my entire... Maybe the best meal I've ever had in my entire life. was a sandwich that I ate in Rome from a grocery store that, like, it was just like, we were trying to get away from touristy restaurants, and we just wandered into this grocery store, and we went to the back, and there was a little deli counter. It was me and my mom,

and the guy, he didn't speak English, and I had, like, cobbled together a little bit of Italian at that point from French and Spanish and whatever. And we just, like, went down the row and pointed, and it was just like bread and turkey and sun-dried tomatoes, and, like, I mean, it was, and we sat on a curb and ate it, and it was the best, it's, like, the best thing I've ever been. You also lived out there for, you were living out there for a few weeks for school? No, my mom and I, only child, single mom, we would spend a month in a different country in Europe every four years. And we would like live in, we would stay in like convents because they're cheaper than hostels. Got it, got it.

And we weren't partying. Yeah. So we could come back before 9 p.m. when the curfew was or whatever. You can stay in a convent. Some of them run like hostels functionally. Wow. It's like the Franciscan monks have similar. things. There's a monastery in Kennebunk, Maine, of all places where for very cheap or free sometimes,

you can just go stay there. Yeah. That's wild. Are they female only? I'm guessing it's very quiet and peaceful. A convent? Yeah, in Gordas. I don't think so. No, I don't think so. Okay. I was picturing you there living there with student. I thought, I thought, I pictured in Amanda Knox situation or something. She killed someone. She killed. She killed someone, yeah. Did she, or did she? Or was, or was that thing she didn't. Actually, we don't, I think she was like, maybe wrongly accused and now we were like part of it. You know what? The The Do-boys take the stance that Amanda Knox is guilty. That's the dope boys.

We're going out on a limb and saying she did it. MJ, we're not sure about Amanda Knox guilty as charged. Mitch shouldn't joke that Amanda Knox was guilty because actually what she went through is a media circus. And he complains about how they treated Richard Jewell. And he's acting differently when it's a woman. So I think that's kind of misogynistic of Mitch to do that. I'm not joking. I'm serious.

I'm joking you fucks and Michael Jackson is bad too Is that mean that was a joke Who knows? Who knows? Who knows where we stand? Where are you on Italian food? Wait, we already asked this Here's, where are you on Italian food? I love Italian food.

I mean, it was my number one food forever being a New England person. I feel like Italian food is way, way up there. Italian and Greek kind of merged together Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure. Like the Greek pizza places also make spaghetti and meatballs and yeah. But Greek, hmm, I really. I just, I think that Italian food gets sameier faster.

A thousand percent. Than Greek food. Your, your critiques of it are not wrong. I, I, I, I, I, 100% agree with you. But also, when you get some really good Italian food, I'm like, I am enjoying this more than, like, I love this more than love. I think. I also, pizza is my favorite food.

So already, that launches it up the list. Also, in Italy, I had the best pizza I've ever had, squash blossom pizza. Oh, yeah. Squash blossom. Do you remember where from? A little, like a lunch counter, because we, we would travel. with no money. And so we wouldn't go, we never went to restaurants. We never sat down. We just would be like, we would walk into functionally a bodega. Yeah. Or, yeah, or, our grocery store.

Or grocery store. Yeah. The, for me, Italian food, and, and, you know, this is, this is not anything new to the conversation, but I'll say it anyway, which is like, it's, it's very high highs. Like, the best dishes are like, they're like, that's, that's delightful. But, yeah, I'm kind of with you. It's like, I don't even know Italian food is in my top 10, like, kind of regional cuisines. You know, like when I'm kind of going down the list of what I like, I don't know, I tend to go more towards like, you know, Mexican food, a bunch of different Asian cuisines. You know, I feel like I like just American food, like American classics are pretty high up there for me. So, yeah, I don't know. But I like the, I like pizza.

I like pasta. Yeah. What do you want for me? I mean, it's just so easy to like pizza than pasta. Yeah. They're the best. I think my critique of Italian food is actually kind of that there isn't, that it's not high. highs. Oh, interesting. I think that's, I think that's

exactly my issue. With American food, with American Italian food is really what I'm responding to. Again, not, not Italy Italian food. That's completely separate. But American Italian food, I think it's like, it's easy to get, or like, a lot of it is in the like six to eight range. But

I rarely hit a nine or a ten with Italian food. It's a ground floor food. It's a ground floor food. There's a low ceiling. Wow, I had you guys. I could have just kept my big fat mouth show. No, no, I love it. Like going to Osteria Mote's, like, when I first went to Osteri Motz and I was like this is like I'm like loving this meal like have you ever been Osteri Amontza? No where is it that's it's a it's where what it's it's a Melrose and it's in L.A.

It's on. Melrose and Western and La Brea. Yeah. Melrose and Laurae. Let's get hyper specific about LA Geography. I actually wonder if I have is it. Is it right across from the Paramount lot? It's not far from the map. It is not far from. I'm wondering if I have I if I actually have Osterer. We're getting too specific? No, I just like I love discussions like this. They're just for people who live in one part of L.A. It's three restaurants in one, though. It's like a pizza place. There's like a fancierger sit-down restaurant.

They are, yes. They're owned by the same, but Ossa, Pizzeria-Mozza. Yes, I have been here. Okay, yeah. I've been here. Pizzeria-Mozza is on the one side of it, and then Osteria-Motza, and then cheese baka is on the other side. And Mozart are you not going to, it's not going to knock your socks I have, especially

with all the Italian food you have in New York, but, I mean, it's like, you know, it's, a place is good. Totally. It was exactly my argument of the highs are not high. At one point, it was a sock knocker. They used to have a Michelin start, didn't they? Hey, that brought's a sock knocker. It used to be a sock knocker.

It was. You go in that place, your socks are on the floor. Knocks them off. They've been knocked. Hey, you've been knocked. That's what I'm saying. Your socks have been knocked. Sock knocker.

You've been knocking my wife's socks, a piece of shit. Take your DSD there. He's going to have a glass. Who, give one of them breadstick. Dad? I'm dick-sucking dad. What are you off from me? Hey, put your hand in this bowl of spaghetti.

Why am I holding out of my lap? You're a dick-sucking dad. Don't try to get me to jack you off. You're right. I'll put my own face in my thing of spaghetti. And all I got to do is don't put you down. Now you're cheering. Your dad's sucking.

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Bucca to Befell was founded in 1993 by Phil Roberts, surprisingly recent to ret chain. 40 locations across the U.S. I thought it was 30 or 40 years old. It closed, well, it is. Good job on them for marketing. Wait, you said 2003? 1990. Oh, okay, so it is.

Sorry, I thought you said 2003. I closed about a quarter of its locations during the pandemic, and also a big part of their pandemic issue was it primarily became a Coast Kitchen, was previously a subsidiary Planet Hollywood under the stewardship of Robert Earl. Robert Earl's big thing was taking a bunch of Buccapebo's. and also Bertucci's, the regional New England chain, and then retrofitting them to be, like, to sell, like, Mr. Beastburger and Guy Fierry's Flavor Town

and, like, Mariah Carey's cookies, and Taiga bites, which we had on the podcast. And who would have known? It was just a dumb trend that wouldn't work at all. Phil Roberts is... That's all it was. I mean, and then, like, that also just, like, ruins these restaurants, too.

Like, with Bertucci's where you went. The one we went to was, like, that's where you got, like, Taiga bites, and they were preparing stuff in there, I guess, because there wasn't enough. traffic. Like, right? In some ways, they're saying,

like, these are helpful for these restaurants. Well, yeah, because they had these huge empty dining rooms, and so they at least found a way to use these kitchens. But the problem is they all used it

for like this really cheap, disposable, trendy food that didn't have staying power, like you were saying. Again, the problem is the internet. Problem is the internet. It certainly is. Phil Roberts, not Italian.

So it's like how the founders of Outback Steakhouse had never been to Australia. But he wanted the restaurant's depiction to be, quote, intentionally and bad taste, but good-natured bad taste, which I think it kind of is if you're in that interior. Which is funny that it's not Italian guy. I want to intentionally in bad taste and be always

like, I loved it. I went in there. I mean, it makes sense. The food itself makes sense now, knowing he's not an Italian guy. Right. But you love that, when you went to a Bukidabbo in person, you had a great time because of the decor because of how tacky it was. Yeah, I love the tacky. Yeah, it's all about the look. It's all about the ambience. It is arguably not about the food at all. Absolutely is not. As we learned from today's experience when we, because for practical reasons, for pragmatic reasons,

we had to get Bucca DeBapo to go, but we figured like, hey, let's see what that to go experience is like. Let's see what it's like if you really want to eat way too much chicken harm, but you can't go into Bucca. Right, yes. And the answer is,

it's worse. It's really bad. It's not fun at all. The answer is we've sort of sucked out the only attractive thing about the restaurant. Amelia, toss him that bread. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. You might get hurt. We got some bread from Bucca to Bapo. I said this to Amelia a lot during episodes. I said he tossed me that bread and we just just snack on bread. This bad boy is a brick. This is a... Yeah, here.

Oh my God. It's hard as fuck. I mean, yeah, it's really... Can I pull out soft pieces and give it to Gemmy? Yeah, of course. Can I eat some of it? Of course. I'll try some of it.

I didn't know I had to give you permission to eat bread, but you can absolutely eat it. But this is kind of a microcosm for what the chain experience is like. See, that's how you know it's good bread. The dog won't even eat it. Just super rock hard and flavorless bread. Yeah, it's not very good. This sucks.

I want a bread that gets me rock hard, not that tastes rock hard. Exactly. There's kind of a hole in the middle of your bread now. You put your dick in there. This is, I mean, it is, uh, there's the soft bits in this,

This is like what I'm pulling out. There's not much that's soft. No, yeah. There's very, and it tastes, it tastes bad. Oh, yeah, it's bad.

It tastes bad. So after filing Chapter 11 bankruptcy, I'm gonna say it's kind of fine, actually. Uh, boogadipal? Really? It's sort of tastes like if saltines were bread. It's whatever.

It tastes just like dough. Yeah. Which I guess is like, that's not nothing. And it tastes kind of like boys. It tastes kind of like boys. It does, he just jumped on that pretty quick.

Did it? Did it? Did it? Did it. Did it. Oh. Oh. That's what you're saying.

I thought they were saying. I didn't understand what was going on. No, I was doing a dough and a boys. The girls got it. The boys got it. The boys did not get it. Barger knows what boys did. So I guess he immediately jumped in.

I guess I will say, I've been making a lot of dick jokes. A lot of come jokes. It is not on you for not. No, no, no, no. I appreciated it. It was sold to private equity. That sucks. Main Street Capital now owns this boogued debacle.

Hell, yeah. Main Street Capital. headed from Robert Earl, who's trying to hollow it out to Main Street Capitol, who, of course, is also trying to hollow it out. I guess if private equity is going to buy anything, I guess buy Bukin. Buy Buket, Babo. And Wags, we were saying this. Nextdoor, this is a bad neighborhood because next door neighbors with the Toothsome Chocolate Emporia.

Toothsome Chocolat. Yes, which we went to in person with our buddy Mark Reni, and that, to me, is the current low watermark for food on the podcast. It's really bad. What is about toothsome? The whole thing, it's supposed to be like, well, Wonka's chocolate factory. It's like if they were, it's like a public domain Willy Wonka basically. It's like they're a royalty-free Willy Wonka, but it also has this weird steampunk

theming for no reason. And it also sucks. The food is absolutely noxious. I'm looking up the definition of Tootsome. Definition, agreeable, attractive, sexually attractive, a toothsome blonde. Okay. Or of palatable flavor and pleasing texture, delicious, crisp, toothsome fried chicken. There was nothing going on in there that would fit any of that.

You can describe something as toothsomely. Toothsomely. I would say, I would say, I would say, Tootsom Chocolate Factory is not Toothth, Toothomely. Not Toothomely. That's hard to say that. Toothomely. Toothomely. But bad, so the point is, bad, bad neighborhood.

Look, the citywalk is, the citywalk is seen better days. Universal Citywalk is where this particular Buga, DeBapu is. It didn't really matter locationally because we're getting Buka delivery. You like that? I like that. Here's what we got. Chicken Parmesan. I don't get it.

They're family style. Buka de Beppo, Bucca Delivery. Oh, Bucca Delivery. Yeah. Got it. No, I do get it. Yeah. I mean more of this bread.

It seems like you actually like the bread, maybe more than the meal. It's one of the better things at Bucca DeBepo, I will say. We got chicken parmesan. We got spicy chicken rigatoni, eggplant parmesan, shrimp fra Diavolo, lasagna, and abuca trio platter. We'll get to that. Actually, we'll maybe go back to the apps. Prosciutto stuffed chicken and chicken marsala.

We're kind of the mains that we got. Oh, and we also got mac and cheese, which was a on their kids menu. Pathetic. Let me start there. Mac and cheese, first off, it was not macaroni. Italian restaurant does not have macaroni. It was Pene. They used Penei, and it tasted like shit.

It was fucking horrible. It was so bad. I'm going to say this, too, right off the bat. Wait, did you mention that we got lasagna? I think, did I not get the lasagna? Yeah, we got lasagna, yeah, yeah. This was the most complicated food order I've, we've ever had to give. This is the issue is that everything comes in like for a family style, three to four people.

So when we were like listing off things that we liked or whatever, you have to get, it's like $45 and it serves three to four people. Now Mitch is, Mitch is saying the most complicated order we've ever done. We, everyone who is on team doughboys, has witnessed Mitch. using someone else's phone to taking a full 40 minutes to order a pizza. So like you were like you are someone who has had some. I was a fucking hero that. You've had some challenging. You're fucking smoking dope in the pool.

Hold on. You've had some challenging food orders that you've put together is what I'm saying. And so for you to say this is the most challenging one is really something. Emilian I had more than one call about it. We had multiple calls about the fucking order. Wow. Because we were trying to get stuff that everyone wanted to taste. but then there's now a thing a Bucca for one.

So that's like the way where you can get like an entree and salad. Hey, are you, do you not have a girlfriend or coworkers who you can hang out with, but you still want to eat at the most family-style restaurant you can imagine? My answer is yes to both of those questions. Oh, I have coworkers, but I don't want to hang out with them. So, but this, it is a very, it is a sad, it does seem like a Bucca for one, does seem very sad. But it's like, this was the thing.

It was like $13 for a portion of this. That was still big. They were all pretty fucking big. So we did a bunch of Bucca for ones for all of these, which came with salad. Either Caesar salad or mixed green salad. And we kind of swapped up which one was which. I don't know which one. You didn't try any greens or salad greens.

I missed, by the time I got to the like chopped antipasti salad, I was full and I was like, I think I looked at it. It was lettuce and banana peppers. Yeah. And tomatoes. And it was more just the dress. The dressing was okay. I'll say that much.

I had some of the garlics, or I'm sorry, garlic bread. I did have garlic bread. But I had some of the Caesar salad, which comes with, came with garlic bread. How was that bad boy? It's fine. I mean, like, whatever. It was like a replacement level Caesar salad.

It was one of the better things I had because it was like romaine lettuce and Caesar dressing. On that inoffensive. Yeah, inoffensive. Here's the other thing, too, is that we all want a garlic bread. And then the other thing was is that you could get garlic bread in the Bucca for one. And you can upgrade to mozzarella garlic bread, which we did it for a lot of them, if not almost all of them. And we were like, okay, we'll just going to get like a big thing of it. But it was in the thing with the salad, which also-

It was boxed-in-eat individual one. So they had hot bread on top of wet salad greens. Which is a bad one. You're not opposed to. I'm hot and wet. Don't eat hot salad. Sure. But it was, that combo was not, it didn't help things off.

It felt like the bread. Yeah, it was bad. It was bad. It was bad. The bread seemed like it just got. cold and the salad seemed like it probably warmed up. Yeah. Yeah, a bad combo.

Rough stuff. Awful shit. But I will say this. Proof of entropy, you know, proof of that everything just becomes. No, no, no, no. It's the opposite of entropy. Yeah. Yeah, you're not, though, going to be the one who knows this.

Yeah, look at me for virgin stuff. What is that? Everything meets in the middle, right? Oh, we're trying, like, homeostasis. Homeostasis. You knew that. It was on the tip of your tongue. You look at him for words, and you look at me just say, I'm a virginus.

So you didn't fuck for a while. And you, hey, smarty bands. So I'll just say this. I was glad to have greens. And I was also glad to have some broccoli, which I requested. Italian broccoli Romano. It was bad broccoli, but it was just nice to have some vegetables versus everything that was so fucking heavy.

Oilily as fuck, covered with Parmesan cheese. I'm shocked. But it was fine. Among the food, among the mains, I think. think the winner was the, I guess the prosciutto stuff chicken. I didn't love it that much. I didn't like it as much as you guys did. I mean, what did you like?

Lazzania was good. Lazzania is probably the winner. I think any of the pasta is like, I thought like the rigatone with chicken was fine. I thought those were kind of flavorless. I didn't like the rigatone of the chicken. It was a little flavorless, but I was still, that was a plus. Like everything else was, it just was not. It was not actively bad.

That was like, I loved the meatball. I like the meatball wasn't bad. And it also seemed pretty tough. So I was like, this is not going to be good. but it was a decent meat. It was a softball-sized meatball we all shared, and it was one of the only things that actually all of it got eaten.

Yeah. Yeah. That's true. The... We came close on the lasagna. Here's the thing about the spicy chicken rigatone. I'm a bit of a heat seeker. And what this was is...

A missile, if you will. I'm a bit of a... Oh, I like that. Oh, a missile. I don't like him calling himself the missile. I gave it to him. Yeah. A new bit of a cannon here.

The missile. I'm the missile. The missile. I can I can recognize when I have created a monster So I'll put the missile in my notes app The Where was I going with this?

Your heat seeker, it wasn't spicy It wasn't particularly spicy But it wasn't like going for anrabriata And what it was was like This is just marinara sauce And I just see you fucking Just dump some red pepper on top of it It's just like

You sound like the good fellow The end of Goodfellas right way out at the end. Yeah, I wanted, I wanted noodles with ketchup or whatever I got egg noodles with ketchup. Exactly. No, it was,

it was pretty disappointing. I also found like, among the proteins, the chicken in that was, was pretty bad. The chicken Parmesan, if that was okay. The chicken Parmesan,

I thought was okay, not your best. Honestly, if I just tried that, I think I would have been like, yeah, whatever, three forks or something,

but it was, it was a little tough too. Oh, yeah. I think, I'm a tough sell on a, breaded chicken cutlet. And I know that that, somehow that has just never done it for me. Chicken Schnitzel, it's an uphill battle for me.

There's no, there's no breaded chicken cutlet that's really going to do it for me. What about a, what about a fried chicken sandwich? I like a fried chicken sandwich. Okay. But to me, very different than the hammered, the hammered chicken. What about, what about like a, you can't, you can't get a good chicken parmesan as much anymore. That's my issue. It's like, yeah, sure.

This is the truth. I know I sound like an old man, but I'm saying back in the day, I used to be able to get a good chicken parm. I can't get a good fucking chicken parm anymore. Meals, you make a chicken parm? Are your family make a chicken parm? Oh, my family made the best chicken parr. Wow. Do you know the recipe? They don't make it anymore or they do? No, they do. I can get us a recipe, yeah. Yeah. Wait, is that something, do you whip up an Italian dish like that in your own home? Is that a thing you do? I'll make eggplant parm myself. That's kind of like my signature dish. The eggplant parm, I'd like to try your version because the eggplant palm we had from Bucca to Beppo was egregious. It was astonishing. It was, it was wet,

bread. It was utterly flavorless and... It was like inedible. It was disgusting. I hated it. It was tough. We couldn't cut through it because it was so tough. You sort of wonder why they call eggplants nightshades and then you eat that and you're like, I understand the vibe of why you would call this thing a nightshade.

100%. Yes. It was, that was fucking awful. Yeah, it was really bad. I didn't try the shrimp. How was the shrimp? The shrimp de volo? Yeah. I thought left a lot to be desired. Yeah. And then there was also a spicy shrimp. The version of the shrimp that I did like was the little fried, fried shrimp and fried banana peppers.

I was really into that. Okay. Yeah, I saw that. This, again, I'm a bit of a heat seeker. I'm southern to a heat seeker. I'm the missile. And the spicy shrimp did have these, yes, you zeroed in on the breaded banana peppers, which is not kind of a novelty to me.

Oh, yeah, I've never had fried breaded banana peppers. I've had fried pickles. Yeah. And that feels like the closest thing. I was like, this is working for me. I'll take all that you got. Well, you want the fry and then the little bite, the zing. Right.

The Zing is great. You have had them before because we have had those at Pugatabato. Okay, so then I've had these before and I wasn't remembering the specific dish. The fried fried mozzarella was fine. They were like little triangles. It's not for me. It's really, really tough for me. Yeah.

A little football, paper football style of mozzarella. They were. But it was sort of like, it was like, yes, that was the shape. But it was like, it was like a string cheese texture, string cheese stick texture rather than like, here is some mozzarella. Yeah. No, it's really, it's really shitty mothole. There was no man like that making it.

I guess just my bar is so low for mozzarella sticks because to me it's like such a bar food that I'm just like, these are serviceable. And I depamint some more marinara and this gets the job done, I guess. And what job is that? I don't know. Being sustenance, having some texture and a little bit of cheese. I didn't try the calamari, but how was that? A lot of the, also. Calamari was pretty tough.

It was so bad. Yeah, that was bad. It was so bad. It was so bad. rough stuff. You, you, it was,

it was like, um, it was almost like, I, I couldn't even bite into it. It was like, it was chewy. It was chewy and cardboard.

You gamble on seafood and that, you would, you, you, you tossed that. And you busted. Yeah. Yeah.

She busted. It all nasty. It was bad. Speaking of stuff that was bad, or at least confusing, the chicken marsala, which had like, hey,

you know what, Christopher Plum, or might have appreciated this because it tasted like it was in fruit juice. Plum sauce. Yeah. It's getting a plum sauce.

This was a little confusing because I just spit out you guys. This is a little, none got on you, don't worry. Maybe it did. Um, it did. I'll take it.

Uh, thank you. I just eat it again. None goes to waste. It's like, I think it was a piece of dough from when we were eating the bread. Oh,

I did it. Um, but. I, I, dumpster diving, grocery store dumpsters for groceries. Oh, my God.

Wait, still? Yeah. What's your taking? for that. Oh, you got to know the right grocery stores and when they put out the right. They all got their nights where they put out the good stuff. Some of them, like, lock their dumpsters, too.

They didn't want you to add in New York. Not in New York. The best thing is the garbage is right on the sidewalk. Oh, so there you go. So you can just open up one of those bags. Oh, my God, the gorgeous produce that's in there. Holy shit. Never pay for a bag in New York.

Just open a bag. I imagine you're not trying to, like, leave a mess. Avoid salmonella. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. It's sort of, it's on honor. so that people don't get mad at dumpster divers. Oh, I remember when I was in New York,

I went to that one bagel place and I was like there towards the end of the night and they just gave me a gigantic bag of bagel, which I guess that is a normal thing. To me, I was like, I'm not sure. I mean, I don't know, but like outside any bagel place, there's always a garbage bag and you can feel it from the outside because it's all, you can frequently see it like through the black plastic. It's just like, ding, think, think, think, think, right?

It's just full of bagels. Yeah, yeah. And it's funny because like that bag of bagel bagels. she gave me, like, I ate one of them, and I was like, this is still fresh and also better than almost every bagel I can get in L.A. Yes. But anyway, all that says I spit on me all you want. I have very low standards for being grossed out.

I will not now actively spit on you. Okay. But I will, when I get carried away, there will be spit flying that way. Mitch, you don't have, you don't have permission to spit on me. But if you, if you unintentionally spit on me, it's okay. Okay, thank you, like, but I don't want you to, like, spit on me. That would feel spiteful. Have you ever been spit on?

Like, but no, no, I've never. Not like, no, not in a, not like a, not like a random person like, like, or something like that. No, I've never had that happen. Yeah. It's not good. I can't imagine. Yeah, it seems disgusting and unhygienic. I got to find, and I'm a hygiene guy.

I have, I have been spit on because I would, when I was like fighting with people, like, like friends even and shit like that. I got spit on. Gross. Like, pooh. Like that, like intentionally. I got hock to it on, as they say. You got hock to it on?

On that fang? Not on that. And unfortunately, that thing is like my face or my head. Then yes. There was a little bit of a hold up here because when we were ordering, I said, maybe we should get chicken Marcella. And then Amelia said, but that's not an Italian dish. And so I was like, okay. And I just didn't say anything because I was like, I'm pretty sure this is an Italian dish.

But anyways, want to explain yourself? heritage, but yes. I kind of, I wasn't reading it properly. I missed the R. I thought it was like chicken masala, like the Indian dish. She's like chicken teakam marsala. Yeah. You thought they were serving this at Bucca d'Abo.

Yeah, I was surprised. I was like, we should almost get that just to see what the Indian foods like there. But you also didn't know what chicken marsala was? I guess I just didn't, I mean, I know that dish, but I guess I just never heard it said aloud. Explain your ass Italian. I have no explanation. Sometimes you just have blind spots in life. That's true.

And I just never came across the name of that. Like, I know that dish with the mushrooms. What did you think of that dish, this version of that dish with the mushrooms? I didn't try it because it was covered in oil. It sucked. It was disgusting. It looked like a deep, like deep friar oil. That's what it looked like.

It was so crazy. So oily, so sweet. I thought the mushrooms are okay. I thought the chicken was okay. The sauce was just. Crazy. The sauce was disgusting. Hmm.

I, the chicken was actually the best chicken. It was the most tender chicken of any meal, unfortunately. Of any of the chickens. That was like the most tender chicken that tastes the best, but the sauce was too sweet. The plumber sauce, why, so you weren't right. The Soderberg sauce. The Soderberg.

The Soderberg. The Soterberg. The Sasserberg. The Sosterberg. See you a saucerberg. Those are my two favorite foods That's me fucking it up in front of them Steven Saucerberg

You had, wait Court Street bagels, that's where I went Yeah, they're great I like, I like to court street bagels I'll take you there when they close Oh yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah Let's get into a bag of garbage You would hate that

No, I would do it, you would hate opening a garbage I know, because there is a thing of like The waste not want not the That aspect of it for me would overrule the hygiene as, right? Interesting. Because I'm just like, oh, I like that. We can find a line.

I like that this thing is not being thrown away. Yes. Yes. I mean, it's the same thing because, you know, I generally don't eat pork, but something like the basuto stuff chicken. By the way, can I ask a question? When you're, when you're, when you're, when you're, when you're, when you're,

I don't want to call it dumpster diving because I felt bad. When you were diving. When you're diving. Yeah. What bagel are you looking for? I'm almost never looking for bagels. Okay. But what's your, what's your favorite?

My favorite. Oh, yeah, yeah, my favorite bagel. Honestly, onion bagel or salt bagel? I love salt bagels. Yeah, they're both up there. Yeah. Egg bagel. If you're diving, I feel like a salt bagel also would be more preserved or something.

And also, it has so much salt that by the time you actually get it out of the garbage, it kind of has the perfect amount of salt. There you go. Because it has a little too much salt before it goes into the garbage. You got to run it through the garbage a couple of times to get enough of the salt off of it. It's insane to me that they're just down to throw these. Like, there's so many people. It's very sad. Yeah.

There's so much food waste in America. It's a systemic issue. But yes, as far as as not wasting food, the prosciutto chicken, like, again, this is the thing, like, I don't usually eat pork, but because it's like, well, I know some of this is going to be thrown in the trash. So I have no problem eating a, like, one quarter portion of this. You know what I will say? Sorry, one quarter portion of this, you know?

As someone who has real problems with wasting food, who, like, I, like, this does become a near compulsion. It becomes a like, it is an over, it is overriding what I want, my desperation to not waste food. I was really fine with all of that going in the trash. Yeah. I mean, it was pretty bad. You mentioned binging, that's something I've struggled with as well. And like, I just will, I really hate wasting food. Like I, like, it was kind of like it was drilled into me. And I just like, I basically, like any leftovers I'm taking and then I'm eating or I'm like I'm making sure I eat everything on the plate

so there's no leftovers or when there's stuff like I just I if something's in front of me I'm going to eat all of it and again this was just so repulsive that I was like I reached a certain point I just tapped out there's food on my plate I was like I'm done yeah oftentimes after I worked at the Simpsons for a period of time which everyone knows yeah but and and I and now you know as well but I you were you were Homer's motion capture.

And Bart's Dick for the Simpsons movie. And Bart's Dick for the Simpson movie, yeah. They had to enlarge it a little bit. It wasn't enough that I said I was a child's dick. No, yeah. They had to enlarge it a little bit and add a little more hair. I would oftentimes, I was basically just like the lunch guy, and I would like oftentimes would offer on the ride home.

I'd have so many dinners. would give them, or lunches, and I would give them to the birthday boys or whatever. Leftover lunch. Loftover lunch. Often I would offer to unhoused people that, like, off the 101 freeway there and stuff like that. Like, I would offer them to, to. And I remember there was a specific time and I forget what the chain was, but I was like,

do you want this? And the guy was like, no. And I was like, with Bucca de Beppo, this is the thing I think any, like anyone would turn down. Like, these meals, like, rightfully so. Like, they're still human beings after all. And like, you're hungry. Like, I wouldn't want to eat that fucking.

It's like the fucking eggplant parmesan was. fucking disgusting. It was really bad. Like no human being should eat what that was. It fucking sucked. You know who should eat it? People in private equity. Yes. Hell yes. I agree. I do feel some sympathy for the

kitchen staff here because first off this is not a concept that figured out on the fly like well we got to find some way to make this to go during the pandemic. The concept is not oriented around it. So this food is not designed to travel well. I don't blame the chefs or the aspiring chefs who work in chain restaurants. No, but I also think they're

they're just like, they're using really cheap product, and they're probably understaffed. And I also think the quality of this food, it was not just that it was, it traveled poorly. It was just generally bottom of the barrel Italian food. And if I'd eaten this off of a plate, like hot in the restaurant, it still would have not been very good. Oh, yeah. I would say my biggest problem with it was that it, there was sort of no taste to any of it. Like, spaghetti is not a travel food, you know, sort of at its whole. part. Pasta is not meant to be put in a box and then driven 40 minutes.

Yeah. But it still, you can still taste whether there was the ghost of a flavor or not. Forget about. There was a posity of flavor. There was just such an absence. You're going to wake up in the middle of the night and be like, is that the flavor of boo? Hey, buddy. You want to hear about my latest obsession? I'm talking about my Mars men. No, I don't mean space aliens. I'm talking about something very different. Did you hit a wall in your mid-30s? You're doing the same workouts, eating the same diet, but you feel like you're moving

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Hell, sounds easy. Anybody could do it. We should get to our final thoughts on Bucca to Beppo. So, Chloe, here's all this work. We'll each go around. We'll give a closing argument, if you will, on this. What he saw, by the way, if I, if I at night saw, like, a big, like Italian guy with, like, a white tank top at the end of my bed, way less scary than what he saw.

A big fucking Italian dude That to me would not be as scary as what you saw Hey, it's me, DSD Get ready Get a little Ghostbusters moment Yeah From big Italian guy From the Italian guy

Hey you know what these guys aren't so bad Chloe will each go around Give a closing argument if you will On Bucca de Bapo And then give it a score The scale is from zero to five forks like reeds So let us know where that would that would land in your porch board.

Yeah, to make it make a sense for you. It's like reads. Right. Yeah, thank you so much. Yes. My closing argument is... Wait, but five read being the best read? I mean, just like the most...

The most impressive. The most impressive, yeah. Okay, okay. All right. Then it does work out. Then it does work out. Yeah, no, it works. But can a one read not make a beautiful tune?

It's a little tougher. Sure. Yeah. Tougher lift. And sorry, is this... It's zero to five or one to five? It's, I mean, you can go zero to five. You can use full scale.

But for the most important part of it. but it's one to five. It's one to five, but you can go below one if it's warranted. People have gone negatives in the past. People have also gone above five. There's been some six forks and one elusive seven fork. Who gave the seven fork? You did.

Oh. For what? I gave the six forks, so I thought I broke that sale. It was seven fork for something I loved, I'm guessing. I think so, yeah. I don't remember. Okay. I'm going to say, flavorless.

I can't even call it like it was oily because a lot of it was just sort of spooning oil into your mouth. There were a couple things that I liked. They weren't highlights. I think calling them highlights is too generous. But all of that combined. Here's, I'm going to take a step back for a second. I did the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Hell yeah. The full month run. I love it. And your shows get rated one to five stars. You can't go below a one, one to five stars. And a one star review, you at least have something to fight against. And you're like, at least I, engendered a reaction in this reviewer, right? They hated it so bad that they were willing to give it a one-star.

And so because of that, a two-star review is notoriously the most insulting review because it's just nothing. It's bad nothing. It's not enough to respond to. It's not enough to make an argument about there was some recognizable effort there. There was some mild, pleasant moments. But it was not enough to even say it was middle. So you're saying, Do Boys Live and Edinburgh is getting the two-star.

I'm saying you're getting the elusive six star. And I'm going to give this a two fork. Two fork. Wow. I like that. Two forked tabookas. You did that for those same reasons. The Edinburgh Fringe Festival, we'll be doing the Eatonberg Fridge Fest.

With our guest, Steven Soderberg. Steven Sosenberg. Fridge Fest. Fridge Fest. Oh, you going to fridge this year? Yeah, we're going to fridge. We're going to fridge. We're exciting.

Oh, my God. That's cool. I've heard crazy things about fridge. We might do it. We'll see what happens. Why do you tease things like this? Tease things on the distant horizon that probably won't happen. It could happen. It's just on you.

It's not just on me. There's logistical concerns. There's schedule concerns. It's not just on me. We'll figure it out. It's mostly on you. No, you're bringing this up. So if it doesn't happen, you can blame me because you're like, I wanted to go.

Weiger said no, even though it would be something like it could just as easily be you booked a role in something. thing and you're not available. In a Soderberg movie. You booked a role in a Soderberg movie. He only works in the UK now, so you actually should go to his calling to get a roll in a Soderberg movie. There you go. That's not going to happen.

Look, so things could happen. We'll see if Yves can do it. Things could happen. It's not on me. Here we go. My schedule is free as fuck. I mean, for now, it's on Jemmy. She's really decisive about these things.

Just keep your heart open. That's all I ask. And I'm going to keep my heart open to Book of De Beppo. Hmm. And, uh... Booker Bebep. Bucca Bucca Bopo. What does Bucan de Bapo mean?

Basement of Joe. Joe's basement. Italians, step up your game. Not just with Bucca de Bepo, but two years in November, step up your game and fucking don't write Trump in a third term. Always going to be on the ballot. Don't worry about that. Yeah, all right.

Sorry, don't vote for Trump for a third term. We have established that Italians have nothing to do with Bucco de Bepo. Yeah, it's not an Italian chain. Then you know what? Italian's step of your game. Take this, take down. Buk in a bathball. Also,

Italians definitely do love Trump. Yeah, still don't go over track. As a separate comment. Italian's love Trump. It's the truth. It's true. It's true. It's not this one, but.

I love Italian food. Italian food also, like you're saying, like, it is like, it can be very boring, but like, it also should be easier than this. And like in edible eggplant parmesan, there was like multiple things there. I was like, this is like, I'm so unhappy putting this in.

my mouth, which is rare for this podcast. We are way nicer to things. I think the experience when we went probably boosted it up like a fork or so wags, and that was, I was at two and a half forks when that happened. You did two and a half forks, yes. And I'm going to take a whole fork off for that reason. If we went, if the three of us went together, it would have been more fun. We would have had a great time.

Do you guys drink? Yes. Oh, yeah. Imagine getting drunk at Buccas. We would have had fun. Look, I've done it. It is a blast. You get, this is a whole thing, because they give you,

like a big couple wines. So you get to be like, oh, your wine's family style. They're like, because every, like, it's like, every dad tells that joke. But hold on. It is fun. The waiter laughed that much of the joke.

Here's the thing. The waiter will laugh at like, oh, I guess you do the wine family style. And then I've also heard the waiter be like, here you go. We serve our wine family style. And then I laugh at him. So hold on.

Did you steal the joke for the waiter? I said it. And then I've also heard the waiter say it. And my dad said it too. And a guy said it to my dad. So like, it's a full circle. We've all had fun with the Women meanwhile are like getting their guns out of their purse

As all of the men Shut the fuck up about And the White's family style It sounds like the word the Wines family The point is we all enjoyed the joke We all enjoyed the I just wanted to know if it came from the Wager family Or the De Beppo family Or the waiter family yeah

I think both Oh the waiters are families style here. Oh, you serve the Wigers family style, too. I, I, he's in, we make jokes that he

kills himself, too. Yeah, sure. Do a school, I guess that goes with being a school shooter. It's like kind of all of a, all of a thing. School shooters don't kill themselves. They very often do. Oh, really? Depends. He knows. He knows. He knows. He knows. A lot of times there's suicide missions. Like mass shootings in general are suicide missions, and now assassinations are becoming

But to be clear, we make very distinct jokes between you being depressive and having a gun in your mouth and also being a, like a shooter. They go in different buckets. Those are two separate. They go into their buckets, but there is some overlap. But you encompass both things at different times. Sure, right. Man contains multitudes. It's true.

Oscar Wild. And is it Oscar Wild? And multitudes containment. I like Italian food. I can be happy with, and that's what I was happy is with, like, the chicken parm and like the just spaghetti with. sauce. I was like, whatever. This is like a two and a half thing, but there's a lot of unacceptable stuff that was going on

in there. And I don't like it. I didn't like it. I like Bucca de Beppo less than I like Italians. How's that sound? I'm going to go one and a half forks. And what are you going to give Italians? They get like one and three quarter forks.

I like Italians more. But just a little bit. Step up your game. One time. One. One. One. one time more, but citywalk in a bad, I mean, everything is in a bad spot, but citywalk's fucking rough. This problem is larger than just the citywalk location. This is, this is a Bucca DeBepo issue. And again, not designed for for Bucca delivery, but we had a, we had a horrible experience.

The food sucked. I didn't, I enjoyed very little that I ate. If I just had like the lasagna with some Caesar salad at like the airport, I would have been like, I guess this is okay. That was like approximating a meal. I agree with you, but imagine getting the eggplant parmesan family style for three to four fucking people. No, but Mitch, that's the out. That's the inverse of what I'm saying is that there was stuff that was so egregious and so insulting to Italian cuisine and also just so noxious to the palate that I was just like, I can't believe that the expectation is that I would pay money for this to put this into my mouth and then, you know, digest it and shit it out. It was fucking really truly bad. And we didn't even have the fun of going in person,

which I think probably would have easily added a half fork to a full fork. Whatever. We know what the exercise is. We know, we understand. We've anticipated all the comments about us not going in person. You want a fucking episode or not? You want an episode every Thursday? Sometimes we're going to get to go.

Not so fun when he's bad at you, huh? I don't like when Waker yells at me because I want them to go. I think they should put some. effort into their content. We're putting effort into the content. We're the fucking minds. We're, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We're in the content minds, you fucking assholes. We're the content minds, you pieces of shit. You can yell at them too, be like. They're conscripting me. A child. They have a child laboring in the minds.

We guesstimated her age at 11 years old. I'm very young. You're right. It skipped all that part and it just was shit. You said you eat it and go on the toilet and it's shit. This was just shit. It's straight to shit. The eggplant, the eggplant parmesan could have gone straight into the shitter. We should have put it up our ass. Maybe something good would have come out of our mouth. We should have put it up our ass. You know, I wish I'd put all this food up my ass. Yeah, me too. If we did, maybe something good would have come out of our mouth. And you know, but what's come out of our mouth for the last

two hours? Not so good. Honestly, what's come out of our mouth pretty much at the same level as the Bukinabeppo food. We, we honor the food with the same quality of rifts as the food has delivered us. Look, Joe's Boys has a podcast is maybe worse than Bucca de Beppo as. as a chain restaurant. I think that's fair. But. But it is better when you're here. That's true. It's better when you're here. And you guys, yeah, you guys are getting the

takeout version of Bowboys. And it's not, it doesn't travel well. I'm telling you that. When you're in, when you're in, eating it, it's better. He's spitting in my mouth. Not that bad. Anyway, you know, I talked about the Arabiata proxamation, these spicy, you know, sauces they had. I don't know. I'm a bit of a heat seeker. I'm the missile. And it just wasn't, I'm so sorry. It wasn't on target for me. And, wow, it wasn't on target for you. We're, and he's laser guided. I'm a laser, I'm the laser guided missile. Jimmy hates this. Jimmy's like, fucking. She's just looking at his ghost again. Mitch, we've been celebrating

Irish, a wit, Oscar Wild. This spicy pasta was more like Oscar Miles. But that was hardly my biggest issue with Bucca DeBepo today. Put that on the last page of Oscar Wild quotes there, Wags. But it's up there. I'm going to give this three quarters of a fork, three times. Wow. Damn, scathing, Wig's review. All right, it's time for a segment.

It's the Price is Ripe. Take it away, Meals. Hit it, Emma. Here it comes. Not live, but pre-recorded and silver-like. It's, what is it? The podcast's the most exciting segment using royalty-free music that barely captures the spirit of the show.

This is The Price is right. So that's why there's no, Tint-Din-T-N-T-N-N-A. Is that why it was... Yeah, it's royalty free. Amelia gave me a thing to toss for this, and she wrote, Take It Away Meals. That's your line you want me to say to introduce you.

Yeah. I like it. The price is right. Have we played this before or no? We had to play again with Emily Yoshita. Okay, okay, okay, okay. A couple years ago. All right.

We're probably, I think we're playing each other in a game. It was like two years ago. Just the two of us. What the fuck? I know. Just the two of a, no. I might be playing too, my point. You play two.

Yeah. We do. And no wives. And no wise. All right, let's get our contestants in here. Hit it, Emma. Oh, shit. I lost this one.

Hold on a second. Here goes. What the fuck is going on here? You got you, you, you're, Tiger Weiger, come on down.

Oh, he's playing. I was wrong. Where am I, what am I? Spin around. You can just, yeah, there you go. All right, Chloe Radcliffe,

come on down. Where's my nickname? What are you called? Well, I can't give myself a nickname. Tiger did it. Uh, how about the rad? Wait, am I not in this?

The clip. The rad. And then we got Mitch. Come on. Mike Mitchell come on down. All right, I'm your host. Pretty good. I'm your host.

I'm going to give you a selection of fruits. Got it. You're going to guess the cost of that fruit. Closest to retail price without going over wins. If you win that guess, you advance to the dough case do-down, where you guess if the fruit is ripe or not, which gives you the opportunity to win another point. Okay, got it.

All right, so we're going to start with this gold nugget Mandarin. The price is ripe because it's fruit. Right. Yeah. The price is ripe. It's fruit. Yes. So we can circulate this?

Yeah. This Mandarin, I assume, was not bought in this state. What? Because it feels pretty... What makes you say that? Do you think Amelia left the state? No, I mean, like, it feels a little... Oh, it's not in the state it currently is.

I thought you meant in the state of California. No, not, yeah, no. I also thought... I was like, where did she go? It seems a little weather more. So the price of this Mandarin. Yeah. I'm going to...

Do I get to guess? I can tell you the grocery store if that helps. Yeah, tell us the grocery store. A pavilions in Los Angeles. Okay. We each get, and are we guessing? You're still going for the bread. The total price of this?

Yes. Not the price per pound or the price per unit? It's the price per unit. It's the price. Because we're these sold per unit? We're these sold by weight. By weight. Yeah, I think they're usually sold by weight.

Okay, so I'm guessing how much this individual one, not how much they cost per pound generally. Yes. Got it. This individual one, I'm going to guess, 87 cents. $87. $1.11. $1.11. I'm going to go with $49.

Bob. Actual retail price is $1.5. So, Wig's 10. Fuck me. I was so close. I went so under. Does that take me

to the dough case do-down? It does. So what am I getting? What do I do? Do you think it's ripe or not? I think it's overripe. That is correct. Wow.

You know. You ain't eating it. He wise says two points. I mean, All right, I love it. It feels like a liquid ball. It really does. I'll eat it.

I'll be good to juice it. If you like diving, you should come, you should come by the podcast studio. We've got a lot of wasted food. I used to, when I wasn't putting as much time into my career, I developed a scam. You just watch what I'm doing this, Fred. I saw a look of horror in your eyes. This is what is like to be friends with me. We're friends and you can't get out of it.

I set up a scam. I had a friend who would temp as an office assistant or whatever at various startups. And she would text me whenever she was ordering lunch for whatever company she was ordering for. And then I would show up and I said, I'm here to collect this food for an artist, an artist collective. And I would take like catering trays of Tripoli home for me and my two boy roommates. Oh, my God. What a, what a move. Yeah.

Feel free to rate whatever you want from the headgum kitchen. Hell yeah. All right, next up. No one ever works here. We have a large mango. A large mango. I love a good mango. And none of these are organic.

Got it. This is an inorganic mango. And is this sold by weight or by unit? All by weight. These are all by weight unless otherwise noted. Yes. Okay, got it. I'm going to say 71 cents, Bob.

71 cents. I'm going to be. say 206. It probably should be a little higher for a mango. Is that by weight or is that by individual? I think that might be by individual. Well, I had to weigh them. Oh, you did? Okay.

Yeah. I'm going $1.45, Amelia. $1.45? Actual retail price is $249. Yeah. Yeah. Now, Doe case do-down is the fruit ripe. It's overripe.

It is ripe, but I would say it is overripe. But you can feel the softness under the skin. That's correct. I would probably, I would eat that. I would have. I would, I would eat both of each. I think that's ripe. It's like, it's like on the verge of being over. That mango is very edible. It's that there's parts of it that are perfect. Right.

You can eat that too if you'd like. I'll eat it right now. Please go ahead. Go ahead. So that's two points. Wow. Should I eat this way? We're not Chris Katan.

We're not going to tell you you can't touch the mango. Mangos are such messy fruits to eat. It's so messy. I feel like I have to take a shower. You know what's nice? There is like a little, there's sort of like a little holding spot, you know. She didn't get the target lady reference, but she'll definitely get the much earlier.

You don't touch the mango. Chris Katan reference from SNL. There are two fruits left. I don't get it. Two left. Two fruits left. When did you fucking buy these? Because they all look overripe.

This morning. I purposely tried to find, you know, different. These were about to become dive foods because they are, they're about to be tossed. Yeah, you think I ain't going to eat these? This next one, Christopher Plummer might like this. Okay. This is a black plum. A black plum.

The black plum is being handed to me so I can hand it to the others. Okay. This is a... And is this the same thing by weight? Yeah, so I had to weigh them at the self-checkout and then it calculated it from there. Got it. I, you know, I undershot the mango dumbly, because I was thinking of weight per,

I just for whatever reason, I was like, I was like, oh, that's how much it would be per pound, but that was dumb. So this one I will say, though, it's not a particularly big plum, but I think plums are a little bit pricier than oranges.

I'm going to say $1.80. $1.80? Okay. I'm saying $0.36. I got to fuck you over and say $0.89. Actual retail prices, $0.80. Chloe gets it. Yes.

Wow. And I was, let the record show that I was actually the closest on the first one. I just, I busted by just at by six cents, but I was dramatically the closest. Uh, now it's do case do down. You get to guess if it's ripe or not. This is perfectly ripe. Ding, ding, ding. Wow.

So Chloe has four. Wikes is two. Mitch has, wha, wow, zero. Awesome. But you have. Mitch is struggling with a fruit-based segment. I was close to, I was nine cents off. You did pretty well, you did pretty well.

I was nine cents off of fucking. You have one last chance. Yeah, you have two where you were close. Oh, shit. Last but not least, we have a pair. It's a Bartlett pair. A Bartlett pair. How much was this individual pair?

What if we guessed it exactly right? Does that do anything? You get another, you get an extra point on top. Oh, you do. Is that the way, is that the prices right, rural? No, that's just a dope. They went on. No, they do get it exactly get $100.

They get $100. When it's the ladies, Bob Barker makes them reach in his pocket for it. When it's the men, he just hands it to them. I'll make you reach into my pocket. I'm not reaching in your pocket. Of course. It goes in the opposite direction, obviously. You have no gender rules on that.

Anyone can reach in your pocket. You freak. You just want people reach in your pocket. All right, I'm not a horny freak, by the way. Let's just set that thing. If you get it right on, there's $100 somewhere in the bathroom. You have to find it. I like that.

And there's a camera in there, too. Of course. The headgum bathroom. That's for everyone's safety. I'm going to guess that is 68 cents. Wow. 68 cents. And I already had this number.

I would say 69 cents. Fuck. 69 cents? I got to go higher. In honor of Mitch's dad. You'd be so proud. I'm going to go, I got to fuck all you over. 70 cents.

Well, Mitch. Actual retail prices. A $1.55. Wow. Mitch gets that one. Wow. Really devious gamesmanship there. I guess it gets a reward.

I was going to guess like a dollar anyway, so I was shocked. So I would have won no matter what, you asshole. I want, but I also will say that I had to go first all three times, which is maybe an element. That actually is how it works in prices, right? When you get called down first. I know, but I'm also just saying, like, because we're speaking. running a whole game with the do-case do-down

happening per fruit as opposed to at the end of the segment, perhaps we should... Just admit, you don't know as much about fruit as you thought. I don't know as much about fruit as I thought. Thanks, Nick. That's big of you. Thanks.

It's shocking that anybody's still listening to this podcast. This episode or just in general? Both counts. Either. I was really thinking this episode. You're doing great. I'm having a good. I don't have a time of my life. You think that's ripe?

Yes. I think you're wrong. I think it's underwry. Yeah, I think it's underwrype. Should we cut it open? We should cut it open. Sure. Take a bite.

Yeah, bite it. You take a bite because you'll eat it. It's pretty crassy for a pair. To me, it's a little under ripe, but try. I think that's under ripe. I shouldn't be, though. I actually think that is ripe. I'm sorry.

Give me a bite. Give me a bite. I think that's right. Do you think the people... It's soft enough. Do you think the listeners like A is wrong? Am I wrong? No, they hate it.

They tell us. It's not right. That's bullshit. He wants me to have one less point than that motherfucker. It doesn't look ripe to me. It looks too, too light green. So no one thinks it's ripe except for the person who wants a point.

All right, I lost the point. Good. I lose the fruit game. I don't give a fuck. You get half a point, Mitch. I'll give you a half. Oh, cool.

Thanks, Nick. Okay, so Mitch has one and a half points. Weigs has two. Chloe wins with four points. Congratulations. You get to take all the fruit homes. Well, play, Chloe. Oh, yeah.

Just like a restaurant. That was the price is right. Thank you, Amelia. Of course. All that fruit home. Just like a restaurant, I value your feedback. Let's open to the feedback.

Today's email is from Caitlin K. Caitlin writes, if you were a food item and could be eaten by anyone dead or alive, who would you want to eat you? Are fictional characters on the table? Sure. We're wrong from Avatar, Fire, and Ash. I like that.

Alternate option Lydia Tar. I'm going Hannibal. Being eaten by Hannibal, he's going to make the best version of you. I guess what, you're a food, though. Right. Yeah.

Ooh, so does he like the, you know who else say maybe? Who? Gluttony from seven. I know that's a movie that scared you. Yeah. Wait, you want the guy who got killed? The big guy.

Oh, yeah, it's a torture to him. He has to eat so much Bucca to Beppo that he thought. It is, it is, it's actually just one plate of buca. It is spaghetti. They're feeding him spaghetti. His size burst open from that. Oh man, Hannibal Lecter is pretty fun. You know that, you know the set the bit of seven lore because that guy is shown nude,

his corporate is shown nude. And David Fincher was like, I were putting this guy through so much where like making his weight like kind of like, you know, like what his character is all about. So he's like, give him a big dick. So I give him a huge prosthetic dick. Which I love that. fun. Yeah.

That's great. Yeah. Yeah. You listen to Hollywood directors? I have to get wetta on Mitch's. Get ILM working overtime. Someone else, a living or dead person to eat me as a snack. I mean, I guess I would not mind being consumed as a meal.

If we're talking living people, I'm going to be killed and eaten by, eating for sustenance. my answer is my co-host, Mitch. Wags, I give that right back to you. You can eat me as well as a meal. I'm imagining a scenario where we're on tour and we somehow get like shipwrecked. And so it's just the two of us. You get like Donner partied?

We get Donner partied and one of us has to eat the other. I would say Mitch, you can eat me to survive. Wiggs, that's very kind of you. And I would. Yeah. I'd take you up on that. Would you cook them? I'd probably just eat them alive.

Yeah, I think you're too lazy. He'll easy to even kill me. Who would I be eaten by? Living or dead? Who really loves a meal? Boy, I mean, who enjoys... Anthony Bourdain? I know, that's what I was trying to say.

The whale? Yeah. The whale? Oh, fuck, the whale. I want to be eaten by the whale. And me and you were meatballs in the meatballs sub of the whale. No, you know who I want? I want Brad Pitt in any movie.

Oh, that's good. That's good. That's good. Hey, maybe seven. Yeah, fuck. Does he eat in seven? It does. You know how he eats

and every other room? He loves to eat. Yeah, that's his thing. Good move. I also, Tom Cruise could be fun to have him Tom Cruise, he gives a snack before he did a stunt or something.

I wouldn't mind if Tom Cruise ate me either. We can, you know, this is a, this is a Patreon episode. We'll come up with a list of who we'd let eat us. Maybe like a top 10. Pyakon also fun? Paya Khan, yeah, Piokon, the Mighty Tolcoon eating me would be pretty great.

But I don't think he'd do that. We turn ourselves to krill. Yeah, he wouldn't do that. And he eats krill or something. close to krill. Yeah. I mean, us getting eaten by the whale

and you and me being... I think the whale is the answer for the two of us. And we're going down together. Yeah. All right, good answers. You know what? You're in his stomach as he floats.

Wait, are you saying the whale like the Darren Aronofsky movie? Yeah. The Brennan Fras of the whale. Have you seen it? No. It's, it's, I mean... It's not as at all insulting to fat people.

Yeah. It's a fun. It's a fun. It's a fun. If you like to watch, like we were saying, you can enjoy bad movies. Yeah, it's enjoyable on those terms. Like, he eats meatball subs and he jacks off, and then he dies. I think you kind of captured the movie in this podcast.

And then he floats. We're talking about meatballs and jagging off. That's my Sunday. Yeah. And now we float. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at Feedbag at birdfuck.com or leave us the voicemail to 830-0. That's 830-463-6-844. Producer is Emma Erdbrink.

Our associate producer is Meals, Amelia Marino. Our video editor is Mike Dorfman. Do-Boysmerch at kinshipg goods.com slash Do-Boys and the Do Boys double-air weekly bonus episodes. Subscribe at patreon.com slash doughboys. Chloe Radcliffe, what an absolute joy. Thank you so much for us. Thank you so much for having me.

You were... You're not walking away over here. You got a bunch of fruit. I got a lot. I got a satsuma. I got a mango. I got half a pear. And a old loaf of bread.

I got an old loaf of bread. I got an old loaf of bread. love of bread that I've been sticking my finger into. This doesn't necessarily happen with a lot of guests, but Mitch and I are both meeting you for the first time today, and we've had such a great time having a meal with you and such a great time podcasting with you. This has been so fun. And you're such a funny comedian, so it's great to have you on studio. Thank you.

Happy to be here. Anything you would like to plug? I'm on tour. I'm in Seattle and Portland and Atlanta and New York. I'm doing, I have a solo show. It's separate from the hour that I do on the road doing my solo show at Joe's Pub, August 19th, and 20th in New York. The show is called cheat. I'm at Chloe Badcliffe on all socials, like my last name, Radcliffe, but Bad.

Oh, so you have a nickname, Badcliffe. Yeah, Badcliffe's sick. Yeah. That's awesome. Thank you. Yeah, that rules. Yeah, I think that's it. There you go.

Yeah. Wow. Come back. Hell yeah. Come back. Happily. You know what? I really want to get you guys, I want to take you guys to,

Freddy's, but it's supposed to be too far. Freddy's, oh. The custard place? Freddy's custard and steak burgers. Yes. Do we do it or no? No, but it's huge in the Midwest. But it's huge in the Midwest.

Yeah. It's too far from, there is one in California. I don't think there's one in L.A. proper, but there is. It's like an hour. It's like an hour away. That's doable. We can figure that out with some notice. We can do that.

All right. We'll figure it out. That's my pitch. That's my pitch. Chloe Radcliffe, too. Freddy's bitch. Freddy's bitch. I don't do it for this episode of Do Boys.

I know next time for the Spoonerobaccoeatry. I'm Tiger Warrior. Happy eating. See ya. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast. That was us now on HeadGum.

Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show. This is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot.

A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the Podcast, a new show coming to F***. Coming to F***. That's what it is. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine.

Welcome to Jackass the Podcast. A new show now on Headgum. Woo-hoo. I've learned a jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute too long. Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history.

All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I've noticed that. Every so often. With guests like Spike Jones. I think this committed Jackass the podcast. What was it going to be called?

The Jackass Podcast. The Jackass Podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Stevo. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in cloud makeup right this fucking minute. Chris Pontius. That shot of your butt just cruising up.

I'm like, I got that on TV. God bless us. Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you're being really nice, I'm like, damn it, something bad's going to happen to me. We man. Jeff grabbed me from. the back of the head and threw a punch.

The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me. And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy. I left a nice surprise in the toilet for him. Every time. Apparently he hates to flush. Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocketcast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts.

Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Woo! Look out for new episodes in your feed. every Thursday. Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about?

Probably buttholes. That was a HeadGum podcast.