Doughboys - Buffalo Wild Wings with Matt Selman

Episode Date: September 19, 2015

Buffalo Wild Wings is one of the hottest chain restaurants in America. Longtime Simpsons writer and self-described foodie Matt Selman joins Doughboys to review "B-Dubs". Plus, the Wiger Challenge!Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The origin of buffalo wings is cryptic and disputed, but is generally credited to Teresa Bellissimo of Buffalo, New York's anchor bar sometime in the 1960s. In 1982, college friends Jim Disbrough and Scott Lowry opened a restaurant based around these cayenne-spiced wings, as well as a second regional New York state delicacy, the Beef on Weck Sandwich. The Weck didn't last, but the wings were a hit, and ever since CEO Sally Smith took over in 1986, the company has experienced record growth, expanding from 300 locations to over 1,000 in the past decade alone.

In an age when many sit-down chains are struggling and contracting, this casual restaurant's trademarked three-pronged focus on wings, beer, sports has made it a mecca for bros. According to Bloomberg, customers at these restaurants consumed over 11 million wings this past Super Bowl Sunday alone. With over 20 spices and sauces, it has a laboratory of flavors to pair with the omnipresent ball games on its walls of big screen TVs. This week on Doughboys, we take on the place they call B-Dubs. Buffalo Wild Wings.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. How are you, Mitch? I'm doing well. Just want to give a shout-out to Spoon Nation, say a little, uh... All right. Mitch, do you think there's any danger in the fact that you begin every podcast by giving a shout-out to Spoon Nation, and is that something that's maybe alienating our new listeners?

Like are people tuning in, listening to an episode, oh, I've heard about Doughboys, what is this thing? And then immediately, we're calling you the Spoon Man, you're giving a shout-out to Spoon Nation, a big inside joke that new people would have no idea what it is. And then that's how we're starting things off. Well, you know, if you listen to an episode, I think you'll get the idea. You'll either find out if you're with Spoon Nation or not. Gotcha.

Yeah. So it's kind of like a soap opera. You just sort of pick a jump into the middle of it and you run with it. It's not really an exclusive club. I mean, there's ways to get in. We're going to explain that a little bit on a future episode. I don't think we need to. No, we will.

I don't think we need to hear the rules of how you join Spoon Nation. No, we're gonna. Eugene Codero has been named captain of Spoon Nation. Sorry, funny man. Hopefully a future guest. Oh yeah, no for sure. We're going to go over the rules with you. Little wager.

All right. The burger boy. Mitch, we have just come from eating. I would say at this point I am, I have about, I woke up at 5.30 a.m. It's currently 10.30 p.m. That's right. And we've just eaten at our restaurant. I probably have about eight pounds of wing meat inside of me.

This is just like a very, I'm already feel like I'm swimming. I feel like I'm underwater from the get-go. Yeah, but we got a lot to discuss today, so you got to get with it. There's a lot of stuff going on. And also, our guest is wearing such a cool shirt. It kind of lifted my spirits, it lifted my spirits and I'm ready to go. It's been a crazy day. I'm with you.

But I think we're going to, I think it's going to be, things are going to be good. Let's jump right into it then. Okay. Let's say hello to our guest. He's over there wearing a free Brady T-shirt alongside his New England Patriots ball cap. He's an executive producer and writer for The Simpsons. Matt Selman is here. Hi, Matt.

Hey, guys. Big fan. Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. I can't believe that ever. But that's very nice of you to say, we're big fans of you and you're my former boss and I'm very happy to have you at the show. I consider us as comedy peers.

Oh, Jesus. If not, you're like the new generation and I'm fading into the gray dusk. Oh, that's not true. Both of you. I consider Nick kind of a gray dusk. Yeah. I'm sort of, I'm beginning, I'm starting my fade. I never really got anywhere, but Nick is so well spoken though.

I think he'll always work. Oh, thanks for saying that. Yeah, but like there's a lot of NPR in your future. I think that could be a fallback plan. I've got the dull cadence for an NPR personality. No, I think you could do Marketplace, Kyrie Rizdahl, wherever hit by a truck or committed suicide because of his business losses. You have like a non-emotional voice.

Yeah. Like a John Wayne Gacy or something. You're very similar. We don't want to, like serial killer John Wayne Gacy who used clown makeup and lured children into his basement where he killed them. Yeah, pretty much. All right, fine. Yeah, it's a, I feel like, like when I feel like I'm emoting and then I listen to myself

late and later either in the context of like a podcast or if any time I've had something that I'm saying with air quotes like an acting job, I feel like, and I'm like, I feel like, oh, I'm really, I was really pushing it there and then I listened to myself later and it just, it sounds like a robot talking. Like I just, my natural voice is like kind of at a very flat level and I don't realize how unemotional I'm coming across as. Jack Allison and I always say that you sound like the Canadians from South Park. All right.

Hey buddy, you always kind of talk like that. Yeah, sure. How you doing buddy? You kind of had to set your voice kind of, but you told me earlier tonight that I thought I had gotten rid of my Boston accent and you think that I sound like a thick-axed and dummy. Oh yeah. No, I think you sound like a bowtown townie.

You sound like a Quincy, the Quincy native that you are. Yeah. I guess you can't get rid of it. You can't run away from the past. Town of Kings. Is that what they call it? Yeah, right? It's the town of presidents.

Hell right. Not Kings. City of presidents. Yeah. We don't have Kings, we have presidents. Got that 100% wrong. I like Town of Kings though. I think you should adopt that.

Why not? Yeah, we... That would be a great way to get it wrong. City of legends maybe. I think a lot of people call it. I don't, not saying that I am a let, I'm saying just people call it that. Maybe they don't. Maybe that's just kind of like Quincy people with big heads call it that.

But I've been listening to the show for a while. Yeah. And I feel like I'm really good friends with you guys, even though I've never met Nick before and I haven't seen Mitch in like a year or two. It could have been. And before that, like three years. It's like, but I just listened to you. I feel like I'm part of your inner circle of whatever, UCB going to drinking.

Let us also quickly say... Class taken... Yeah, the term we're looking for is improv assholes. Herald learning, political do-ins, Besser worshiping. I am a big Besser fan. Sure, yeah. But I will say that if you're talking about going into the gray dusk, Nick and I have reached that in our UCB lives.

I think that we're not guys who are hanging outside of the theater smoking cigarettes. That's where the old guys who come and do a show and then leave go home or we're not even out at all. We just go home after work. Right? Yeah. You'd say that's accurate. Sorry.

Sorry to shit on both of us. No, I think that's pretty much it. I'm over it. Yeah. I'm over everything. I'm over this podcast by this point. We're 19 episodes in. I'm pretty much done with it.

Ready to move on. So, Matt, you've been at Simpsons since season nine, is that correct? And then so, Mitch worked there as a writer's PA. So what was your guys' dynamic at like, what was that? What was going on there? What was it like working with Mitch and how did you guys interact with each other in the workplace? Well, I think it was thematically linked to this podcast, which is good, in that his

main job in terms of my interaction with him was he would get lunch. Got you. 100%. I mean, he had other duties like script zeroxing and table read prep and other assorted nuttiness. It really was like feed the fat, lazy, spoiled writers was like the main part of your job, right? 100%. That's one of the biggest things that you do, getting lunch for the writers every day

and getting it on time, because you're supposed to be ringing that lunch bell at 1 p.m. every day. We have a literal bell that a cowbell will ring. That's true. And people come running in from the fields of pitching. I don't even, at first, I was like, is this demeaning to me or to the writers? I didn't even know. I was like, is it demeaning to either of us?

And then at the end of it, I was like, this is normal life. Like it never, it works so well. Everybody hears it because it's huge. Very functional. It's very, very functional and it's a big little, I mean, it's a big section that the Simpsons are placed on. And anyone who works at that show for the rest of their life, a cowbell makes them hungry. They make them salad, crassly, pavlovian reaction.

Salmon is definitely one of my favorite people over there and also the guy who put me through the ringer the most, which I also loved. I mean, I'm not going to lie. It was a lot of fun and very crazy. My favorite thing I would make him do, and you know what I'm going to say. I know exactly what you're going to say. You know, we'd buy the natural peanut butter that was separated. Oh, yes, yeah.

Like a brick of solid peanut butter with the fat layer at the top and I would make him like stir it until it was all perfectly mixed. I remember the first day, he was like, I want you to stir the peanut butter. I was like, what the fuck? I think I even call, I was like, oh my God, because you can also call someone on that. This was part of the reason why I love him so much and he knows it's ridiculous. But I would sometimes do it, but then you, the funniest thing of all is you bought me, do you remember that you gave me as a gift a peanut butter stir?

Like you made a screw special with it and it stirs it. It was, and I don't think it ever worked well. I think I just always try to do it by hand. The sad thing is, I probably did it to be like air quotes dick. Like, can you believe I'm asking anyone to do this, although I really am like having fun with that in my mind, but not super caring if you did it. But now that I'm like a old producer jerk, I see, there's actually like Mr. Miyagi style value for the new PAs and actually like doing a shitty job and learning to do it right.

And even though it's kind of a puzzle and you figure it out, but like, if you can stir that peanut butter with excellence, you're on your road to doing anything. Like I'm teaching you how to produce and you start at the beginning. You don't know, you don't know that. For sure. For sure. This is the most disingenuous. No, actually, I, this is, maybe this is like, what's it called, when the captive takes their

Stockholm syndrome sort of deal, but honestly, I agree with you. When I got there, you know, like when I was like, oh man, some of this shit. And then I was like, you know, that's like, it is your job. It's my job to keep these writers happy and to get, get them their lunch, get them food, to do a lot of this stuff. And it's a lot of people's dream job. So I kind of like thought about that too, like I, I was there for too long, which is, which is tough.

I was there for like three and a half years. I moved over to post after two and a half years, but two and a half years, almost three years. That's too long at that, at that one job is too long. And it was just kind of the time that I was there. There was no opportunities for me really to go anywhere else. I was doing UCB stuff and stuff like that. But, but it did prepare me a lot.

Like I, it's, it's, it is stuck with me even today, if when I'm in a room or something or I'm working with a writer's assistant. Are we still talking about the peanut butter thing? No, no, no just. Just don't. Just don't know how long this is. This is, I thought this was all related. But no, I'm saying his, his preparation for me as a PA, like for all the other stuff experience.

The overall experience, like I, I still take that with me. I, I expect people to do a good job. The other birthday boys would sometimes would be like, you care more about like that Simpson's job than like getting to birthday boys meetings and stuff like that. But it was ingrained in me. Something did happen. It's, it's a weird. Well, what is what I say?

Here's what I say. Always be producing. Yes. Doesn't matter what you're producing. Are you producing lunch for a bunch of jerks? Yeah. Are you producing an awesome podcast or are you producing a movie or any like you're, you're, you're doing it right.

You're anticipating problems. You know, you're exceeding expectations. You're getting better at it. You're innovating. You know, you're, that is satisfying, no matter what you're doing, obviously more satisfying if the money is rolling in, but you know, it's a building block or not. I don't know. No, I think, I think, I think.

I like it. I think that's a good, that's good life advice from a seasoned veteran of the industry. And none of, none of those guys are mean guys in any way. So it's like, it's not like you're really like working for these terrible people that like stir my peanut butter, you know, it's not like that. It's all very funny and we're all very self-conscious about the idea we're being served. Yes. For sure.

We have the decency to be self-conscious. But then I was a surprise guest on your surprise talk show. That's right. Let's surprise Mitch. So you were previously a guest on what's going on. So we were a surprise guest on Let's Surprise Mitch. Yes. And my dumb bit on that was like, you know, Mitch, congratulations.

You've made it. You're on, you're doing a talk show. This is a pilot. Yeah. You know, you've, you've succeeded in the comedy world. You're part of the birthday boys. Like, look at all these cool people at your show. Like, you know, you're no longer our PA.

And then I brought out some peanut butter and made you stir it for everybody. That's no. It made me, you appreciate where you, where you, also that pilot never went. But that was such a, that was such one of, that was one of the greatest surprises of that entire show's run is that they, you had the funniest line about, do you remember that line you said to James Mardsden, Mardsden. Yes. About like describing Cyclops's role in the X-Men.

Oh God, yeah. With the greatest phrasing of like how important Cyclops was to the X-Men. I think I called him the Dave Ferguson of the X-Men, which made maybe no sense to have the audience. I know Dave Ferguson. It doesn't make any sense to me. That was, that was a great surprise. And I look fondly upon my time at The Simpsons.

It was, it was, it was a great time in my life and, and all those guys are really great. And you know, The Simpsons is, is the show that, like, that, that everyone rips off. Oh sure. And, and Selman and all those guys are, are so great. And Selman, I would say, always had the biggest lunch order. He's a foodie for sure. And, and, and I know that some people kind of, what am I trying to say? They kind of roll their eyes at the term foodie now.

Yeah. They, they, they. It's a useful word. It is a useful word. And, and, but you're kind of the first guy that, like, you, you, you, you get so much stuff at lunch and eat it all. You're, you have a huge appetite, but you love good food. And the first time I ever went to Umami Burger was because you left a safari window open

and it was like talking about like how Umami was opening up and you could have gone a lot worse safari window, leaving open, but you, you, you always were kind of on top of like cool new food places. Tickle porn. This seems good. I got very close to doing that once. I was like, yeah, well, I was like very broke. And I saw like an online ad and it was this like predated Craigslist and I think it was

like 20. And it was for, it was, it was, it was more tickle porn. They were looking for very ticklish guys and I was like, I'm very ticklish. Oh my God. It was just like, they're like, there's no sex. You'll just be naked and you were just going to tickle you. And I was like so close to like, I, I would have no, and it was for like $1,500 for like a one day shoot.

I was like, I think I should just, this is a real story that yeah, I was like, I was like pretty close to it. Well, let's let pretty close intellectually. I wasn't like interfacing with a guy and exchanging emails and text messages, but I was like very like, I could do this. And then I eventually talked my way out of it, talked myself out of it. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard that you almost were in tickle porn where you got naked and got tickled on camera.

I would. It's kind of like. What gender is tickling you? I think it's another guy. It was another guy who would have been tickled. It's almost, it would be a guy. Yeah. God, why not?

God, why didn't that happen? I curse. Fine. I curse them. What if I'm fine? In a way it, I would have. Your heterosexual, which is all good. If a man is doing it, it's more of a job.

Yeah. It's more of a job. And a woman, you get mixed up. I also think too, I would really sell it because I am genuinely very ticklish. That's a skill. Why not? Yeah, I would have. Some guys have giant wangs that can go all night and deliver just loads of gizz.

Oh God, I wish you were in tickle porn so bad. I wish it was. The lady's still ticklish. That doesn't go away. Once this flames out and I lose my writing job, I'm sure. So Doe Boys is the only thing separating you from tickle porn because if so, the podcast is over. Oh man.

No, he's the John Holmes of tickle porn. He's so ticklish. All parts can elicit, and I assume genuine laughter is what works the fetish angle. Like that doesn't seem fake. I think that's the thing. I think those guys can smell fake laughing a mile away. The posts seem very kind of clear of like, we don't want fakers, we want actually ticklish. Actually ticklish may have been in all caps at some point.

I don't know if you're going to know why, but this is one of the funniest things I've ever, ever, ever heard in my life. I can't get over this. You thought about doing tickle porn. I think porn is maybe, yeah, it's like for a fetish website. Oh, I'm sorry. Who almost got naked and got tickled about my game. Oh God.

Oh man. That's very... So anyway, I was like an early adopter of a foodie persona. Actually, I do have a kind of a foodie, I have a foodie Twitter feed. That's right. Yeah, yeah. You know about this. Every year in LA, you have a big party called Beefsteak.

Yeah, I throw a big beefsteak party every year and Nick, you'll have to come this year. Oh wow. I would love to. It's the best time... You've been, right? I've been, yeah. You've done four of them so far. It's charity event downtown.

It's all... It's fun. Harkens back to an earlier era of men's dinners where you wear a tux, put on an apron and they serve sliced tenderloin with no forks, no napkins, and no silverware with your hands. Oh wow. You've kind of modernized it and there's fancy drinks and we invite ladies and every kind of minority you could want and it's diverse and we just keep those three rules of no forks, no napkins, and no plates and to eat everything with your hands and it's

a kind of magical Hollywood night. It's really great and yeah, Selman was always a guy who was telling me to go to the... Even for lunch at the Simpsons, I would pick stuff up that was kind of a cool new spot in the neighborhood. But now I've given up on that. Now I just eat healthy at lunch. I know. I know that change and you've gotten very into fitness.

Very into fitness. You can easily kick my ass now, which you probably could before. Yeah. I would say as a... For someone who describes himself as a foodie, you seem like a very fit, slender man. You seem like you keep yourself in good shape. So what is the secret to being able to indulge while also kind of making it so you don't let yourself go completely as someone who loves food?

Well, I just work out every day. Gotcha. Eat healthy around the office. Don't drink soda. Try to avoid sugar. Don't eat most snacks or processed foods. And then when there's something exciting, I just go for 100% berserk. Great.

So like Chinese food and I think Gabriel, berserk. Giant steak dinner, berserk. Buffalo Wild Wings, berserk. And here we are. Here we are. And so Buffalo Wild Wings, this was the chain you decided you wanted to go with for this episode. So what was it that propelled you?

Because I was very surprised when we arrived at the restaurant, we ate there together. I was surprised to learn that this was your first visit to Buffalo Wild Wings. And yet this was the place that you wanted to discuss. Well, I was always fascinated by it. There was a comedy Twitter feed called Dad Boner, which you may not have heard of, which I thought was really funny and kind of a creative way to use the form and that we're about kind of a loser guy in Michigan who loved Buffalo Wild Wings and Mango Habs, the Mango Hab in Nero Wings.

And a friend of mine at the Simpsons actually did a pilot with the Dad Boner guy and they tried to get it going. I don't know where that's at. But so I hadn't heard of it. That's how I go. That was my entryway into the B-dubs as they call it. Yes. Was through Dad Boner?

Mm-hmm, was through Dad Boner. And always loved wings, Buffalo Wings, if they're from Buffalo or elsewhere. And I can always eat tons of them. I think I'm kind of a good judge of what makes a good wing. I'm interested in them. And then I was sort of captivated by their advertising and their presence in society. Like, why haven't I been part of this yet? And then, okay, so then I think two years ago at the Simpsons for a Christmas present,

I got everybody a $25 Buffalo Wild Wing gift card as a kind of funny office Christmas present that I gave to all the writers and the guys in the booth and the actors and the PAs. This is after you left Mitch, sorry. Oh, man. I should have mailed you one. Well, we'll talk about it, but I got my gift tonight, so. That's true. So I bought like $2,000 worth of Buffalo Wild Wings gift cards, which I gave away maybe

a third. You overestimated. So yeah, I just, you know, just always overdo it. So I have a lot of this currency built up in various drawers around my house and office. So when it came time to pay the bill tonight, I spread the yellow gold. It was very great. We'll get into exactly what we ordered later, but. You basically had like a deck, like a playing cards deck worth of Buffalo Wild Wings cards

that you whipped out and used to pay the bill. Man, I still have. Oh, Jesus. Like $300 of Buffalo Wild Wings. You know what? Actually, I'll tell you a true story. Yeah. Another, this is like, I like to teach life lessons for your listeners.

I once gave one of these as a, the writers and everyone who I gave them to went, haha, half funny, joke gift, threw them in a drawer, never used them. I'm not right. We're not going to this place. I gave one to the guy at my bank that I go to who lets me park my car in front without doing the slow valet. He lets me just leave it in front like I gave it to him. He never forgot it for as a Christmas present.

Wow. So this, this nice guy, just for the, now I just go to the bank. I just walk away from my car. No ticket. I don't need to get validated. Wow. Like it left such an impression on him that I gave him this instead of 20 bucks. Everyone else gives him the 20 bucks for Christmas.

Good guy. Always be tipping also. Good lesson for everyone. Always tip, tip everybody. You can never tip too much. So I gave him the Bdubs card as a tip and he just, we were like buddies forever. Like that yellow, it's a good logo, right? The yellow and black left like a real imprint on him.

Dozen grateful writers should have enjoyed that gift more. I did not leave an imprint on them, but this sweet guy who runs the city national bank century city valet line full of like, you know, bankers and investment jerks. I would love that gift too, because it's a fun outing. I get to go to Buffalo Wild Wings and I would bring maybe a couple friends and we toss that in and go a little bit wild. I kind of like when I get a gift card for that reason. There's something of like, you know, like I feel like you'll get like an Amazon gift

card like, okay, that's great. This is something I can use. This is a useful gift card, but there's something about like a restaurant gift card that's kind of like, oh, this is an experience I have. This is like, I get to go have this visit and then I have this attached to this memory attached to this experience and that's associated with this gift of this individual. I got, I was at a Target once and I was waiting in line and you know how in line they have like the big row of gift cards is like impulse purchases.

And there was a Buffalo Wild Wings gift card, but the framing around it said MVP most valuable present. Quite a claim. But I was hearing this now, maybe it is the most valuable present. Yeah, that's kind of, that's a little much, right? But it's the experience is always fun to go out to get to get someone out of the house, especially me. Like I was saying, I don't, I don't do as much anymore.

So I like to, I like to get myself out and out and about and tonight I really enjoyed our experience there. But before we get into that, I want to ask you, so you're talking about wings. What to you makes a perfect wing? You brought that up. What is it about? I know what you're going to say. I do not like breaded wings.

Yes. I like a clean chicken that goes right in the fryer and the fat melts away and so you're not getting fat pockets, you're not getting stuff you can pick off. Like I assume B-dubs are frozen wings, right? I mean, I can't imagine. I would think they'd have to be. They have fresh chicken wings. That seems like too much for them, but.

There's an advertisement with a live chicken in a car seat buckled in. Oh yeah. Okay, this was a poster in the lobby of the B-dubs that we went to and yeah, it was like a terrified chicken like strapped in seemingly against its will of the passenger seat of a sedan. I guess being carried off to his death, it was really, really gruesome. I think maybe it had been enticed into a limousine. Oh, that maybe that's it.

Then brought to murder, to be murdered. You know, I actually have pet chickens as part of my urban farming, you know. Wait, is this real? Yeah, yeah. We have seven chickens in a coop in my backyard. Oh my God, I did not know this. That I call the Egg McMansion. And that, they're kind of pets for the kids and we get eggs.

Do they make noise at all? Are they noisy? Yeah, a little bit. We've had roosters we've had to get. We got a rooster once by mistake because someone poorly sexed the chicks and so my wife put an ad on Craig's list to give it away and she gave it away for $5 just so they wouldn't eat it. So it would be more expensive than chicken at the grocery store.

Oh my gosh, okay. So she gives it to this guy and she gives it away and the guy says, don't worry, I'm not going to use it for cock fighting. There's like no one thought that that didn't even cross our mind. There is a weird, I will say this, I do like chicken a lot, I eat chicken a lot. But when I think about chicken, I sometimes get a little grossed out, just the amount of chicken and just the amount of chicken it takes to make buffalo wings. Yes.

It is kind of, it is a thing that I don't want to think about for too long. I don't even have like a problem as much with beef or anything, but specifically thinking about chicken and birds are just kind of a weirder animal. Well yeah, and comparing it to beef, I mean like the amount of beef you can get from one cow versus the amount of chickens you need for an order of wings. I mean you're talking about more than one chicken for a single small order of five wings and buffalo wild wings. Yes, they should make part of their campaign that that's the only part of the chicken they

use. Yeah. Like they're proud of the fact that they throw the rest away and they waste it. Oh my God. Like for some reason that's a point of pride or excellence. And not even process for like animal feed, like they just like destroy it. No, no, throw it in a pot burn it or something. Yeah, and probably the life of the chickens that become the buffalo wild wing chickens

is so terrible that the limousine abduction is a princess fairy tale by comparison. Oh yeah, even if his death is, you know, locked in a hot car parked in like a 190 degree, 110 degree Phoenix weather or something like that, that's still better than what someone's a chicken's under to going in a factory farm. Say that John Wayne Gacy made this up on his own there was no, they had no mention of how hot the car was. It was just a chicken driving in a car. I'm extrapolating from the scenario that's given to us in a still image.

So but right. So breaded wings, soggy wings, okay, I hate breading, I hate fat pockets. I want a good, clean, crispy wing like I don't want it too big and I don't want it too small. As we were saying, I prefer the little wing it to the drum it. Sure. Yes. That's just a personal taste. Yep.

Who was our friend at dinner? Jordan Morris. Jordan was saying there's something fun about poking flesh out from the, between the fibby and the tibia or whatever of the pork chicken. Yeah. I don't know the anatomy, but you get to disassemble it a little bit. Humans, right? Isn't that, I don't know if it's the arm or the leg.

I don't know if that, yeah. I don't know if that transfers to legs. Arm, leg, leg or arm, I forget. But I think on that level, the, you know, the B-dubs, you know, and their frozen agribusiness, nightmare, Cisco chicken that they fed us was, was pretty successful just in the term of the base layer of, like, you know, as terrible chicken wings is fresh brothers. Yeah. You haven't done fresh brothers yet.

Fresh brothers, I'm just going to say right now, zero forks. Wow. Wow. Okay, that's a throwaway. I know it's not official. I like fresh brothers for, brothers for other things, but I, That went off too far off. But no, I, I know, see, my issue with almost all kind of fast food or chain wings is one

of the biggest things for me is crispiness. I need them to be crisp. Yes. And I don't even know if Buffalo Wild Wings makes them very crispy, but they do a good enough job. I think, I think, I think every other wing place is like, you'll just get these soggy kind of weird messes like Buffalo, like a Domino's Buffalo Wings, and even Domino's might be the best of the bottom barrel wings, but they're, they're just kind of chewy and, and, and I,

I, I need my wings to be truly crispy. They have to be a crispy, crispy wing. Agreed. But I, I like the drumettes. I'm a drummer. I'm a drummer guy. Just easier. I just like to eat, eat them and you're in and out and you're done, but, but it's gotta

be, it's gotta be crispy. What's the name for the weird kind of mushrooming side flesh that kind of pops off a drumette sometimes that like extra tumor that you're eating? Oh, I love it. Oh, I love it. Yeah. No, I like it too. Yeah.

I know people, my godfather's daughter, like she'll like eat the, like she'll like get the marrow out. It's an oddly specific relationship, by the way. My god sister? Is that a thing? Is that, is that more like- They're like family. So like-

Okay, okay. Yeah, Sarah Kiley. She's the best of love, Sarah. Okay. But, uh, they, she like- I guess that's, that's probably a Catholic thing I just don't know. Godparents? Yeah.

Well, I mean, like, I feel like God, I've heard of Godparents, but that's like an actual relationship. Yeah. It's, it's my godfather and godmother I'm very close to. Okay. Well, then I apologize for belittling that. Yeah. Thanks a lot.

Like my godfather and godmother, yeah, they're like family and, and I feel like their kids feel like cousins or something. Gotcha. But, uh, she, she would, she, now I'm going to say something that she would eat like almost the marrow. She would get like the marrow out. Like the bones when she's done with them are like thin and crispy. I always kind of nod my hat to her because she, she really gets everything out of the

wing. Uh, because there are some people who will eat a wing and will eat the, you know, the skin off of it and be done. Yeah. I have an issue with that. I mean, why, I think the two bites and there's tons of meat left on there. I'm pretty disgusted. I mean, that chicken was in a limo for you.

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. No seat belt. Don't wait. There was a seat belt. Dig in there. I mean, like that, that's the thing. And, you know, I think we might be getting into another section for debate here, a broader

wing issue, which is the bone in wings, the traditional wings and then the more recent phenomenon, the boneless wings. Now the bone in wings, there's certainly some challenge there. There's the element of, I like both the drumettes and the wingettes. I like, I like a 50-50 split. I get to, the alternative. I think I would like a 20. Yeah.

Perfect for me. I can get that. Golden mean. Um, but, but I mean, it's, you know, I, I, there's definitely a challenge to eating that and the boneless wings by contrast, um, perhaps I think maybe originally pioneered by chilies or at least popularized by chilies. Okay. Um, interesting.

There's more skin on a wing. I would say. Yes. I like skin. Yes. I think it's properly crisped. Yes. So, so, but at the restroom, we talked a little bit about how you feel about boneless wings

and where do you stand on that issue? Well, I, you know, it sounds like foodies knob stuff, but like chicken on the bone just has so much more flavor and just natural chickeniness and the stuff, I didn't, I didn't, I think the weak, the weakest thing of our meal tonight was in the chicken area was the boneless wings. And I feel they were like the ratio of like breading, some meat was not great. Very heavily breaded. They were too chewy, kind of, they really weren't gaining any chickeniness. It could have been almost any meat in there.

I mean, it was better than a McNugget, although harder than a McNugget. Yes. They were a little, they were, well, it's funny because. I wish we could have gone to Wingstop right afterwards and ordered all the exact same stuff and compared. I would have been an interesting challenge. I'm sweating right now from the amount of food we ate, but we'll get into that too in a minute.

I like boneless wings. My wing history is that when I was a little boy, I remember trying a buffalo wing and they'd been around obviously, they've been around for a long time, but I remember when I tried them, they seemed new and exotic. Yeah. Like it was actually my godfather son, Neil Kiley, and he was eating buffalo wings and I tried them for the first time and I'm like, oh, these are spicy, but I kind of like these and I was like a little boy and I wasn't a very adventurous eater at that point.

And I was like, wow, these are crazy. I had no idea how big wings would become. Wings are, I mean, for such a messy thing, we've already talked about tonight, a thing where you're literally just tearing apart these bones and pushing meat into your mouth. It's a very, very messy meal, but it's one of the biggest foods now, I feel like, one of the biggest foods that we eat. Oh, we're in the midst of a wing craze, for sure. But 100% and I feel like the, you know, like pizza and wings is almost like burger and

french fries to me. Like when I get wings, I want pizza and wings, I feel like they complement each other so well. I think I may have said that on the podcast before and then just, yeah, okay. Oh, no, no, no, for sure. Yeah. I'm not stealing. God, this whole episode.

I'm not stealing. It's like an intellectual property theft. I 100% agree with that. I think that it's, I think it's pizza and wings is, they're so great together. I've never been a huge wing by themselves guy because it just is too much of a thing to eat alone and it's too much for me, but I did enjoy tonight's experience. But I also like boneless buffalo wings and I remember when those came out years ago and there was a good few spots in Quincy that made them well.

Some of them would make them crispy, but for the most part, the great buffalo tenders I had weren't really crispy, uh, breaded buffalo tenders. They would just be kind of like nice, let's, let's, let's, let's, God, what's on my fucking head? Tickle porn. Uh, they would, the callback is like the bread and butter of the comedy podcast. Oh, by the way, every time Wyger's laughing, I've been tickling him too. Um, yeah, they would, they would be nice slices of chicken breast and, and, and they would

be cooked to be like crispy, but they wouldn't be like super breaded and crispy, which tonight's were very breaded, very crispy. But I'm a guy. I know, I know that this is a lot of people will not like this, but I like boneless wings and I get when people kind of turn their nose up at it, but I think it's easier to do a bad job with bone in wings. Like I think, I think the higher risk, higher reward. Exactly.

Yeah. What do you think? Where do you stand? I bone in. I'm a big bone in guy, but I tell you, I'm okay with a boneless, but I think, I think overall bone in is the way. So once you have kids, the chicken tender really is a fail, you know, such like the default horrible hotel room service, baby sitter disaster, like you've, you just, you're eating that

things have gone so wrong for you. Do you like with as a foodie with kids, do you like find yourself like, will you feed your kids like those like dino shaped chicken nuggets or whatever? Like, will you still like get them that kind of weird Franken food or are you a little bit more like conscious about that? Or how do you? Actually, my wife do it. Yeah.

I mean, they're kids are my kids are pretty good. Like I don't force stuff on them. I want them to be adventurous and they like ramen. That's great. That's good. You know, they like barbecue. So there's, they have a couple food areas that they, they're into and they don't love everything.

Like they don't really like Chinese food, which is too backside of love. Oh man. When I, when I was, when I was a boy, I was afraid to try Mexican food for a really long time. I was kind of put off by now. It's one of my favorite foods. Probably the Mexican food back in Quincy in the 80s was not so great. There was one place and for me as a little, as a, like, you know, as like a six year old

boy, it was almost kind of like a culture shock. And there were like these cheez, chee cheez? Oh, I think we want to, Elsa, Elsa Rapé, she cheez. She was a Boston, New England area. Yes. Proto Mexican food chain of one of the first Americanized chains of Mexican food. They probably doesn't exist anymore, but it was very nachos. So we're so exotic back then.

Yes. No, and that's, that's, that's a weird thing to remember, like as a kid that like nachos were not a normal, you know, like it was like, oh, this is crazy to me. Like all the, I mean, wings, stuffed potato skins, but all the kind of fun party food that is like the most boring thing on the TGI Fridays menu is what used to be kind of exciting and exotic. Oh, for sure. Yeah.

Yeah. I slightly as a boy remember that sort of thing, like mozzarella sticks, trying those for the first time. Sure. I'd be like, whoa, what are these things? But I'll stand up for boneless buffalo wings. All right. You're right.

I think you're right. But I hate when you get, don't you hate when you get a gamey wing? When you get like a, a really like, I'll play Russian roulette every time. All right. Nick, walk us through the, what we got. Yes. So let's get to our meal. Oh, no, no.

We don't, don't worry. We're, we're, we're a hundred percent on schedule. We're conscious of it. No, I'm worried. I don't want to, I don't want to keep you guys out of it. We appreciate it. We appreciate it. This is all great.

It's all going in. All right. So we, we sat down at Buffalo Wild Wings, we had a party for our three of us, plus Jordan Morris. Very crowded. I mean, super crowded. I will say this. Tuesday night.

Tuesday night. The night after Monday Night Football. The night after Monday Night Football, there's no major sports event on TV tonight, as far as I can tell. Yeah. And we left, when we left about 10 p.m. to come over here, there was still, we overheard someone, I overheard the host saying that there was still a 20 minute wait for tables. So it's just jam-packed the Burbank Buffalo Wild Wings on a Tuesday evening.

So yeah, it's, it's current prosperity is borne out in, in what we, what we witnessed. I think I might buy some Buffalo Wild Wings stock after tonight. Might not be a bad idea. You might have some with all those cards. Yeah. We have a lot of investors in our audience. I know that there's at least one. Jack Elzen.

But that's it. Make it a roommate. Jack counts as an investor. He does. All right. Yeah. I mean, all those cards are practically currency at this point. So I'll hang on to those.

Those I'll appreciate over time. So we all sat down and we got- Trading them on the gift card market. So we had a strategy going in. And this was your suggestion, Matt. And you had like a very aggressive strategy that we didn't end up executing. Luckily. But we, you were, there are 22 sauces by our count. Wet and dry.

Wet and dry, including sauces and also including the dry rubs. There's 22 varieties. And Matt suggested getting all 22 for a party of four. So four of each side. Yeah. So the maximum, the minimum order for a small order of wings is five wings. And so, you know, five times 22, 110 wings. Is that the correct math?

I believe so. 110 wings for four people. A little daunting. So instead we ordered them in batches of 20 and just sort of got a few. So the first batch we got, actually, you know, why don't we back it up for a second? Let's talk apps. Let's talk over apps because we can chronologically. It's not as fun.

I got myself a black cherry mojito, which was tasty. The drink was actually pretty good. Someone you got yourself a beer, right? Later. Yeah. But you were even too full to drink almost all of that beer. I didn't want to drink the beer on an empty stomach. I got the peach smash, which was a Jameson Irish whiskey with peaches and ginger beer.

I originally ordered something else and they told me they couldn't make it. That's right. Yeah. It's a cocktail that I neglected to write down that was earlier on the menu. And then we got our round of apps. We got the soft pretzels, which come with a queso cheese and also a spicy mustard. We got the cheese curds, which come with a Southwestern ranch dipping sauce. Onion rings, which also come with a Southwestern ranch dipping sauce.

And then we were accidentally delivered another table's mozzarella sticks and we decided just to keep them and just to dig in, which was, you know, maybe ethically hazy. But I think we were all kind of in the mood of like, oh, they gave them to us accidentally. We probably got charged for them. Yeah. And it came with marinara sauce. Yeah. So that was good for the little cheese curds.

Yeah. So the cheese curds, they're kind of like these little, they're basically about the size of cheese balls. They're just like little, you know, nugget shaped fried, I mean, exactly what they sound like, fried cheese curds. And I think very tasty, a nice texture to them. The cheese flavor was really good. I think they're kind of the standout of the apps.

Yeah. They were the best of the appetizers. And all the appetizers were good. It wasn't like there was any like real home runs. The two ones that I think that are closest to the home runs are the cheese curds and the onion rings, which were really great. And someone, I know that you stayed off the apps a little bit. You tried them, but you were saving yourself four wings, right?

Yeah. I really had a hankering for some wings. I thought the curds were fine. Nothing was very exciting to me in the app department. No standouts. I had studied the menu pretty carefully before coming in tonight. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie.

Oh, for sure. Everything that wasn't wings, I wasn't that interested in. And you know what? I think you made a good point earlier about just how boring that stuff can be. The mozzarella sticks came, but I think we were just even too lazy to say that they weren't ours. Yeah. You could give me a blind taste test with those mozzarella sticks and like eight different

chain restaurants, and I could not tell them apart. They were just like very, they might as well have been the TGI Fridays frozen mozzarella sticks they sell at the grocery store. They were very just indistinct. But cheese curds and on earrings definitely. Cheese curds were good. On earrings were good. Soft pretzels were fine.

Nothing special. If you really want that pretzel texture, that queso cheese dip and sauce is pretty good. What I will say is, and I think this kind of speaks to Selman's point, but to run it out a little bit is like none of the apps were, I know I called the cheese curds the standout among this batch, but none of the apps are particularly standouts on their own. Nothing is like, oh yeah, you should definitely get this if you go to Buffalo Wild Wings. And perhaps that is part of the issue with that is that Buffalo Wild Wings themselves are...

Yeah, yeah. Hold on one sec. No worries. Hi. Hi. How you doing? We're recording the podcast now. I hope that would keep this in actually.

I think... Is everything okay? Mr. Selman has gotten a call from his wife, I believe. Oh, don't walk home. Okay. Bye. Bye. Okay.

My wife is murdered. That'll make for a good... There's this podcast when I'll become a cereal or... This is a great alibi podcast that I did not plan. You heard the genuine worry in my voice. Yeah, maybe you planned this entire night on a little too well. Come on, guys. One of every wing.

It'll keep us out all night. That wasn't a pre-recorded call that just came in. I'm part of my devilish Colombo style called Alibi at B-Dubs. That's the name of this episode. Okay, back to death. Yeah, where was I in my rant? Oh, yes, yes. So, none of the apps are particularly great and I think that perhaps speaks to wings...

Buffalo wings are an app, basically. You're going to a place that has just large portions of an app, which is wings. Chain restaurants, that's where they're organized on the menu. They come as an appetizer. So, what app are you getting at this app place? Well, I don't know, kind of a hodgepodge of forgettable fried foods and maybe you should just stick to the wings and go full on and if you want some fries or something or some onion rings, I guess, maybe that's the direction you go.

I think you're going to get some flak for this for that statement. But I kind of agree with you, but I think there's going to be a lot of people out there who are angry at you and think that wings can be a full meal. I will say this, I have had wings as a meal a number of times, but speaking about the section they'd be organized on in a normal menu, I feel like you're going to see wings in the appetizer portion. Salmon, what do you think? I think with the exception of restaurants that really take you to the limit, like your

B-dubses or your wingstopses, it's a little sad to get wings as your entree. The restaurant has failed or you have a failure of ordering imagination. Yes, every place I've ever gotten wings as an entree has been like a wings place, like locally in LA, Hot Wings Cafe. What I was excited about this place was, in my mind, and I think they pulled it off, is the ambition, the scope, the number of flavors, just the pure grub food craziness of how hard they committed to wings and various kinds of creativity they applied to the sauces and I wish I'd seen that a little more in the apps, like why not pour some kind of sauce

or make that available on the curds? Sure. Buffalo curds, is that too hard to think of? I mean, if I owned a chain restaurant like B-dubs, every day I would be thinking of new crazy things to put on the menu that would differentiate the place from TGI Fridays or Hooters and all these places that just do potato skins and whatever and those places are always trying to add Sriracha and wasabi and take these foodie flavors and ruin them by putting them on horrible fried frozen food, but I mean, that's the fun of having a restaurant

like that, so I want to see that on every level of the menu. Yeah, a little more innovation in the app sector would be nice there. That's a short way of saying it. No, that's fair. We got into the wings then. So our first batch, we got a bone-in batch and we got two large orders, order one, salt and vinegar, this is a dry rub, honey mustard, honey barbecue and Caribbean jerk. The second order was Asian zing, mango habanero, Thai curry and spicy garlic.

So you want to talk about those ones real quick? Yeah, let's dig into those and then we'll get into the full batch. Let's do a quick 15 on each flavor. I think one of my favorites of the night was the salt and vinegar. Really good. Very tasty. I think we all agree that the dry rub wings were the best wings, right? This was a Jordan Marshall recommendation.

I wish we tried more dry rub flavors. Yes. Our friend... They're open until two. We can go back after this, Mitch. Oh, my dear God. We could do that. I mean, I think our listeners would want us to.

They want to know when they... It's five minutes away. Yeah, mentally when they turn off this podcast or this podcast ends, they want to know that after it finished recording, we went back to Buffalo Wildways. We're not going to do this. We went right now, ate the rest of the dry rub section, came back. I would be so, so sick. I told Weiger that I'm a bigger, heavier guy, but I was doing the heavy breathe on the way

to Weiger's car. I was too. Selman is a great eater because at first you thought you had too much and then you settled in and you were fine, and Weiger and I really did not do well. I am still full and I'm sweating and burping silently while we do this podcast. I could eat the leftover wings we brought back. Which I tried one of every wing. I did too.

You may even had more of that if I want to tip my hat to you. You did a good job, but can you just go over those wings, the first batch? We'll just do these first four, salt and vinegar, honey mustard, honey barbecue. I'm sure the wings are frozen, but not fatty. Not covered in a sauce. The wing is out there exposed to the world. Yes, this was bone in if I didn't already say it. And juicy.

Juicy. Very juicy. They want to try. Maybe we should do some research and find out if they're frozen. I'm sure they are, but we can find that out. We can find that out. All right, so keep hitting the flavors. Let's hear them.

Honey mustard. I didn't love the honey mustard. I didn't love either of the honey ones that much. Forgettable, I'd say. I don't love sweet wings in general, but I'm glad we ordered them just to have a taste of the spectrum. Yes, similar feeling on the honey barbecue, just both these indistinct slightly syrupy honey dominant flavors that I'm just not crazy about on a hot wing.

I get upset when people order barbecue wings. I don't like barbecue wings. Interesting. I like barbecue chicken. I don't like barbecue wings. I agree. Why not get buffalo wings? You're going to get the buffalo hot sauce.

Why are you going to get barbecue wings? But I'm sure there's some people who won't like that. And then we closed that batch out with a trip. We can't penalize the restaurant though. People want sweet sauce. Of course, 100%. I think that's a thing in its favor is that it has so many different sauces that there will be something for everybody and you can order them in small batches so you could split

a little order like this for four different people's taste. The last one was Caribbean jerk. That was good. Yeah, that was good. It was just a little strong. It was definitely an intense flavor, I remember, which sounds like a punchline to a dad joke, I feel like. Caribbean jerk.

Or TD dad joke. Or just a Nick Weiger joke. We have a dad in the room who didn't like your dumb joke. No, no, it was good. I'm just thinking about my wife being killed or not. So but like also in the plus column, very flexible ordering that we were able to get all these different flavors. I mean, I know you're just frying them, putting them in a bowl and shaking them, but still

and everything was beautifully labeled, right? I mean, that's great. We didn't have to memorize anything or gas. I mean, everything a little sticker on it saying what the flavor was. That's true. That's like made for podcast reviewing. That's 100%. You're 100% right.

That's such a nice little touch that they put a sticker on every single carton. Or even if you get the bonus wings and they serve them on one big platter, they put the sticker near each wing. It's really well done. It is the kind of thing too where it's like, you know, it's kind of wasteful because they're serving everything in these paper containers. So you know, there's a lot like a lot of cardboard. There aren't a lot of like reusable dishes that are going on the table, but they are

so clearly labeled that it's like, oh, okay, I don't have to remember what the waitress told me. And that goes a long way. Yeah. I think that Caribbean jerk was pretty good. I liked all the international foam flavors of taste India, the Caribbean, the country of Asia. The Caribbean wings, I think were a mistake, right?

Were they? You know, I think we ordered the jalapeno something. I don't remember what it was. We got the jalapeno pineapple and we got the Caribbean jerk by mistake. Which is okay. It was fine. It worked out. All right.

Second batch. Let's hear it. Asian zing. I liked them. Very spicy. Yeah. I like that Asian zing. A little bit of heat to it.

Yeah. Kind of that sort of, what's the word I'm looking for? It's kind of like that spicy sweet sauce. God, what's the name of it? It's like a Thai chili sauce? Oh, Thai chili sauce? Yeah. It's kind of like a Thai chili sauce that was on it a little bit.

Yes. It was labeled on the smiling to sizzling to screaming, you know, scale. Oh, yes. Yeah. They have like a heat thermometer on their menu which says where these go in the heat spectrum and it's pretty accurate and I would say if something is on the spicier end, trust the gauge because it gets pretty spicy, including our next one, mango habanero. Yeah.

A little too spicy for my blood. It was starting to get pretty hot there. A little too spicy, tasty, but just, man, it made me sweat and it takes you a few seconds to recover after eating one. I would say if you're like, if you're like me and you're not a heat chaser, I'm not like a guy who's like wants to go out and eat a lot of super spicy food. My wife is like that. She loves to eat super spicy food.

Your wife and I should go out. Now that I'm single, apparently. Well, yeah. Well, the prowl. Widoware also, that's much better than divorce guy in terms of hooking up. You're in there with Widoware. My second drawing next to Nick being in tickle porn is Selman stealing Nick's wife. Natalie, it would be great.

Yeah. We could discuss that in the cast. But then she and I are together, stay with me, and she's like, oh, this Selman is so great. And then she tries to tickle me in nothing and tear. I can't do this, runs back, she starts tickling you and it's all back how it was. We just group wrote a rom-com right here. The sick tickle freak.

Mayo habanero is good. Thai curry we had. I thought this was a, this was quite, for me, wing of the match, wing of the meal. I really like that. I agree. I really good. I liked it a lot. I mean, it's salt and vinegar.

Salt and vinegar was maybe one of my favorites. Probably my wing of the match. Yeah. The, the, the, the, that, that, that, the Thai one was, was also very strong. Yeah. Very strong curry flavor. Overpowering. Yeah.

More screaming than Asian zing. Oh, okay. That makes, yeah, it was, it was, it was, it was intense, but uh, but it was good. It was a good wing. They did a good job with it. Really delivers on, on what you see there. 100%. Thai curry.

Um, and then we had a spicy garlic. That was pretty satisfying. Yeah. I liked it. It was very overpowering with the garlic flavor, but they were, they were good. Pretty hot. Yeah. I would say these were like mid to high level of, where it landed as far as my favorite

wings went. Like not in the top three, but right below that. I don't want to take issue with the smiling, sizzling, screaming meter, but I did think spicy garlic was more spicy than some of those fruity international wings, but you know them. I didn't rank that way. It's technically closer to smiling. That's interesting.

They have a thing here called the Bdubs Sauce Lab. You know what I wonder is a limited edition flavors. I was, we didn't really get into that. Yeah. Alternate flavors that were available that I don't know if there were seasonal offerings or what, but they had a ghost pepper one, which we decided to avoid. Yeah. I wonder how much of it, because the thing with eating spicy food is you eat something

really spicy and then if you eat something mildly spicy afterwards, it tastes a lot spicier because it just rejiggers that same. You're right. You're right. So it's hard to gauge without completely clearing your palate between each batch. So then we had, we had a boneless batch. So we had the Parmesan garlic. Pretty good.

Yeah. I thought that was pretty good. That was my favorite of the boneless, I think. Okay. Yeah. I thought that was good. Or the desert heat, maybe desert heat. Desert heat was my favorite of the boneless.

Again, dry. Desert heat was the dry rub. Yeah. You know, Jordan Morris recommended the dry rubs. You were right, Selman. We should have gotten more of them. I would say that's, that's a thing that I would say is a takeaway to any listeners out there who want to experiment with Bdubs.

Get those dry rubs. They're really great. And then also just, you've already got the ranch and or blue cheese to dip your wings in. So having a dry rub, it's like you, you don't have to worry about it not being moist because you can accentuate its moistness there with those cream-based dipping sauces. I do think the cream-based dipping sauces do cut mouth burn time in half. Oh, sure.

Quite a bit. That's not, it's not just pointless calories, it's, it serves a purpose. Oh, a hundred percent. Something in the dairy or whatever. You need, you need them. It's pure science. With some, with some of the hotter ones, you a hundred percent needed them. I keep saying a hundred percent, but oh, well, that's my thing, but a hundred percent

spoon nation, a hundred percent spoon nation, a hundred percent spoon nation. You need blue cheese or ranch, especially with, yeah, with our, with our last two, which is that we got the hot and then we also got the blazin, which is there. We had to try the blazin. We had to try it. They're hot as one. It wasn't the ghost pepper, but it's the hottest normal sauce. Yeah.

It was, it's too hot. It's not enjoyable. I don't think that won that much. But it, you know, it's, you need that though. It delivers a hundred percent. Why wimp out? Yeah. I mean, I feel like I, there was a challenge where you'd eat 12 of those.

Yes. I think you get a certain amount of time to get your picture on the wall. Picture on the wall for you. I think I could have done that. Yeah. I don't think I could have done it. If they were boneless, yes. If they were not boneless, no, I don't know if I could have just like been picking my

way through a wing. It would have, it would have been tough. Well, because then you get the heat on your lips and your fingertips and that just like accentuates the challenge. Yeah. I think the boneless is easier if that even qualifies for getting your picture on the wall. But yeah.

And I think blazin was a threshold where this heat is now mango habanero. These are pretty hot, but I can still enjoy the flavor blazin. This is just unpleasant. This is just like a sensation. I don't really like on my, I probably wouldn't get either if I went back. I know a few people who love, I think Jack Allison loves those mango habaneros, but it's just not, it's not for me. But in, and then also because of that, the hot wings felt a little, a little too, a little

too hot because I was already from the blazin was just sweating. It's true. At a certain point we were blending flavors as our waitress recommended to us actually. She recommended we get those two flavors together. Remember that? Yeah. She was basically saying that our waitress was great. We really had a.

Yeah. Shout out to the service. Shout out to Tammy at the Burbank. She was really sweet. She was fantastic. She was very helpful. She was very attentive. She dealt with our, you know, sort of manic way we were trying to.

Yeah. Neurotic, Selman, crazy, controlling type A, unrealistic. But I'll say you, you live by your word and we, we tipped her very well. Just like you said. He's, he doesn't just say it on the podcast. It will come back to you. Tip everybody. Yeah.

It's just like, it's just, it's like WD-40 for your life. And extremely generous tip. Over 50%, I believed it. So Selman is a great man. I don't know what we fucking make yourself sound like a hero. I was saying Selman. I was pretending Selman did it. He did.

Selman paid for our entire meal. Selman paid for our meal with, with gift cards, but I, we, we like to cash it. Also I'm a fucking hero. That's a great tip. 100%. We talked to Tammy a little bit and she confided to us, hoped it doesn't get in your trouble, that she preferred her old job at Bubba Gump's to this. Yeah.

And that on football days. It's too crazy. Too wild. And the guys, you know, stay at a table for four hours at a time and it really eats into her tipping. Well, that's a thing. Be mindful of that folks. Yeah.

Listeners. People are just camping out there watching an entire ball game and I understand that, but then that, that table stops being a revenue source for the restaurant and in turn for that individual server and that was a problem she was dealing with. So yeah, it sounded like a stressful place to work, especially on those, those NFL Sundays. But I, but I do have to say that there's something that I was going to mention in my wrap up is just that so much a part of Buffalo wings and Buffalo Wild Wings is the, is football, is NFL Sunday, is college football, is going there and watching some sort of football game

or basketball or baseball. It's designed for sports. It's designed for sports. There's so many big TVs. They do a great job of no matter where you're looking, do you see a TV? So if I want to go watch a football game, I would try to be mindful. I guys saw birthday boys was playing on one of the TV's. There was a very, there was an empty table below a birthday boy's TV.

FFC dedicated corner. There's a 13 inch Magnavox that was, um, but I mean, like, right, is it, I think just Buffalo wings in general are, are, are, are kind of conducive to, to a football experience, right? Like a, it's so much of what it is and you're not going out on a wing by saying that. Well played. 100%. Um, no, wing beer sports.

That's their motto. They're going for it. That's what you get. I felt for her especially because she almost got, she almost got knocked over by a couple of big NFL fans, um, on Sunday, on Sunday. Yeah. You, you, you, I think what you're going to do is, this was an anecdote. She was relaying.

Yeah. If you're there for three or four hours watching a game, tip big, order some food throughout and, and, and keep it going and, and, and just help your server out. So that's, that's what we learned. And also we're heroes for our great tip. Also shout out to a Bryce who took over for Tammy at the, she went to on our break at the, on her break at the very tail end of the meal. Two shout outs to people who'll never hear.

Bryce, uh, Bryce informed us that he also bartends at the nearby Olive Garden. So there's a little, uh, he's doing double shifts at the nearby Burbank chain restaurants, but, um, he seemed like a good guy. Who knows though. He, he could be out trying to kill Selman's wife right now. So. You know what my honest fear is like, what if Bryce stole Tammy's tip? I know.

I was a little worried about that too. Yeah. Make us like, like assholes. We left it in cash cause servers also appreciate cash tips. Sure. But there's, I'm part of me wanted to hover. We kind of impugned Bryce. Part of me, no, I mean, it's just our own cynical view of human nature.

Sure. Bryce, if you took that tip. I did want to see, I wanted to see, I didn't want to see, I didn't want Tammy to thank us for the tip, but I wanted to see her be happy. Of course. Yeah. When she got it. Yes.

And Bryce, if you took that, if you think your wings are wild, why do you see me if you fucking ripped her off? I'll fucking destroy you. You could easily kick my ass. He was pretty big. He was tall at least. Do you want to, what do you think? Should we wrap it up?

Let's get to our final thoughts. Final thoughts. So we know the podcast. Selma and I know that you probably have a lot to say. But for listeners out there, just to what we'll do is we'll go around and we'll give our closing thoughts and then give a rating on a scale of one to five forks. So Matt, you can start. Well, I was a Bdubs virgin and now I feel like, you know, I've been initiated into the

fraternity of the Buffalo Wild Wing. I got the wing, the classic wing portion of the meal. The reason that I wanted to go there was excellent. The service was great. The beer selection was great. Wish there was some more creativity on the side foods. Not a fan of boneless wings, but you know, what are you going to do? Um, I like the design of the restaurant.

I liked the little football jerseys that everyone was wearing that black and gray is a nice color scheme. The Burbank one could have been a little cleaner, seemed a little dirtier and like a little messy, kind of like sloppy in terms of how much was going on there. Uh, I don't know if that fits into my overall review, just kind of a stream of consciousness seeing it here, but just as a wing restaurant, if you want wings, I'm going to give it four forks and one time. Wow.

That's right. I'm reinventing the system here where there's a, you can, there's thirds called tines. Oh, so you're picturing a three tined four. A three tined four. All right. Wow. So. Selma, I love that.

It's one of my favorite things that's ever happened on this podcast and Nick probably hates it so much. Well, do you already have in a half stars, three and a half forks? We've done half. We've done half forks. I like the tines. Well, those could be forks with four tines, two, two tines. Oh yeah.

Okay. Two out of four tines. So you can, you can convert that. Okay. So two tines. You got, you gave it a two tines. So you gave it like a quarter. No.

You gave it one tine of a three tine four. I gave it one tine, four and one tine. So four and a third. Four and a third. Okay. Four and a third tines. So you have to specify how many tines are on your fork when you give your rating. Yes.

On wieldy system with two different. No. Okay. This is, well, I have two forks with two tines because they're like for oysters. And then three regular three tine forks and then some big four tiners and it's six and seven eighths. What's the lowest common denominator? Okay.

I'm going to have to go to 30, 39th here. I don't know. Four and change. Four and change. You can say four and a half if you want. Four and a half. Okay. Great.

Four and a tine. Four and a third. Four and a tine. Four and a tine is great. Four and a tine. Okay. I don't want to reinvent the fork system. I kind of do.

Now am I going to chase? I can't. I just need to keep, for this, for you go to Bdubs, you're thinking about wings, they've got the flavors, they've got what you want, everything else, it's either good or bad, but for what you want, they deliver it. Absolutely true. I was going to try to chase the hand holding club, but I'm not going to. So that will give you a little hint of what I was going to maybe do there.

Okay. My wife got home, she wasn't murdered. That's great news. Nick, your wife is good. And my non-existent wife and girlfriend are great too. I love buffalo wings. I do. Like I told you, I don't really consider them a full meal.

I love to have them with pizza. Buffalo Wild Wings does a great job. As far as chain restaurants or fast food restaurants go with wings, it's one of the best wings you can get. It's the best. I usually like a crispier wing than what I got at Buffalo Wild Wings, but I will say that the dry rubs brought that crispiness out because they weren't sogged down from the sauces.

Great service. Even the freshly sauced wings were not soggy. They were not. They weren't, but I like a well-done wing, like a crispy. The service was great. Shout out for my black cherry mojito. I want to say also that chipotle ranch sauce was good, even though the cheese curds and the onion rings were the stars and everything else was just okay, but not terrible.

But the star of that place is the wings. And they're good. They're not rubbery like other places, but they're also not the best wings, but they have a lot of great inventive flavors. And for me, so much of it is connected to this place and the idea of football and watching football and having fun and eating these wings and just like a big nice game experience. And it was a great experience tonight, too, and there was sports on every TV in the place. When you think if we'd gone and we were actually paying attention to the game, we could have

followed it, though? I don't even know because I've been too chaotic. I don't even know. They don't play really repeats of sports games, but like unless it's late night on ESPN. There's all interview shows and sports talk. Yeah. But we'd gone last night.

I mean, would they have had the volume on or? I think they would have had the volume on, yeah. And that would have been insane for a place that was so packed tonight on a Tuesday. I can't even imagine what it would have been like last night. But all that being said, good wings. I'm going to give it four for four forks. No tines. No tines.

No tines, but I'm giving it four. But of the four, you have how many tines per fork? Oh, fuck. You can mix and match, dude. There's four on each fork. So 16 tines. 16 tines. 16 out of 20 tines.

16 out of 20 tines. I've stolen Nick's system. I love it. Only tines now. No forks. No forks need to be discussed. Okay. I like Buffalo Wild Wings.

I've gone a decent number of times. My first visit was with friends of the podcast, Evan Susser and Jack Allison. We saw a Clippers game. Not on that occasion, but on a later occasion there, and that's a similar grouping. I'd say, talking about what we were just discussing, a good place to watch a full game of sports because if you can find an angle on one TV, there are enough TVs where you can usually find an angle on one that's playing the game that you want, and they'll often have game audio of whatever the biggest event is.

So a pretty good place to watch sports if you can stake out a spot. The thing is, it's so crowded and it's so high traffic, and I think you have to take that into account in terms of if you're going to Buffalo Wild Wings specifically for a sporting event, you better get there early, or maybe you're better served going to a sports bar that's a little less low traffic, not quite as highly traffic because it is just a madhouse in there. Even on a night where there isn't a big sporting event, like tonight where there was really nothing going on.

If I had worn my free Brady hat, I'm sure it had combo during a Patriots game, I might have gotten murdered there. Yeah. There's a possibility. I could see that happening. It feels like the kind of place where a scuffle could break out among the Patriots. Yeah. Yeah.

Like if they were playing like the Raiders or something, like a team that doesn't like the Patriots that's popular around here, like the Chargers or something like that. Yeah, they probably wouldn't have liked you. Niners, Niners fans were not acquitting themselves well last night. I will say that the Wings, I agree with the points that are made. It's a wing restaurant, and we're using Forks as a system at a place where you just... We were using Forks as a system. We're using utensils as a system where we ate an entire meal with no utensils because

they're all finger foods. How many wet naps did we give you? But I mean, that's the experience. You're getting a bunch of wings. It's going to be messy. I think the wings are going to deliver. Highly recommend the dry rubs because they just think they're just good in there. They've just got really nice flavors, all the different ones I've tried.

The apps keep it simple. Stick to the wings. Maybe some fries, which I've had there in the past and are decent. Okay, drinks, but I'd say stick with beers because the cocktails are usually a little over-sugar for my taste. And they have a huge beer selection, too. And they have a huge beer selection. Follow the motto, wings, beer, sports.

That's what it's all about. You're going to have a good time. Just keep in mind it's going to be pretty crowded. Four Forks for me. Wow. Almost a hand-holding club, very close, but I respect Tines. But you know where it is. It's right there in the Gold Plate Club.

It certainly is. Selma, we got a Gold Plate Club restaurant, which is exciting news. I think Selma is texting to see if his wife is actually alive. No, she's alive. Okay, great. I was texting Nick's wife. I'm looking to see if their wings are frozen. I'm sure they're frozen.

Oh, that's a great call. Well, as he does that, it's a good addition to the Gold Plate Club. I think it belongs. I think it belongs, too. I think that it's a franchise that's growing and growing, and like you said, it's very relevant. It's very... It's super relevant.

Of the here and now, it's a very popular place. When I came out here, I didn't even really know it, and I've seen it just grow. The first commercial I saw for it, I was like, what is this weird West Coast chain that probably isn't that good? And then when I went there, I was pleasantly surprised, and I was like, oh, it's bigger than what I thought it was. It just feels joyful and exuberant in its embracing of this fun food, and I feel like who knows what flavors you might encounter there in the future.

And again, it's a massive, evil corporate chain, but as that goes, we know that going in, so there's no surprises. I will also say that, like we said, the service was great, and they brought ranch and blue cheese. We asked for the blue cheese. Both decent, both kind of similar, but the veggies were a little dry, but whatever. We didn't even mention the carrots and celery again. The celery and carrots, yeah.

Yeah, they're whatever. They're throwaways. They're tossing. We need to cool down for a good second, but they were nothing special. They were kind of like they never are special, but then also they were even less special than normal, I'd say. If you're out there, consider stocking up on some Buffalo Wild Wings gift cards. Their stock is doing well.

Yeah, they're doing great. Did we find out if it's frozen or not? They are frozen. There's no way they're not frozen. Well, while you guys get to the bottom of that, I'm going to go set up our next segment. I've got a mystery beverage, and Mitch and Matt are going to have to guess what it is. It's the Weiger Challenge. I'm going to step out of the room and get this mystery drink ready, and you guys can

riff for one second. All right, someone. Now I have to ask you, where as a foodie, where are the best wings you've ever had? What restaurant? Is that tough? You know, it is hard, because I feel like when I get wings, it's usually like at a restaurant I'm not that excited about, but I know I'm a big wing fan. Oh, that's what I mean.

I mean, obviously, there's the Korean wing, the Kyochon, the triple fried. Oh, Kyochon is, yes. I mean, that's great, and if you want to be the hero of any potluck or gathering, bring that, the Korean fried wing. Have you had ye rustic wings? Ye rustic wings are ranked among the highest for local Los Angeles people. They haven't been there for a long time. The wings are, Angelenos love the ye rustic wings.

Yeah, for me, I have a couple spots back home, but I don't know, you know, this is a thing we didn't get into, because you get into the big East Coast versus West Coast pizza. I mean, I'm sorry, not East Coast versus West Coast pizza, but people always say pizza on the West Coast is bad, and that New York and East Coast has just the best pizza. And I was like, oh, what about wings? Where do wings rank in that? Does the East Coast have better wings or do the West Coast have better wings? And I don't know, I honestly don't know.

Okay, Weigur just handed me a clear, I mean, yeah, I've had good wings on both coasts. So that's all. Yeah, I don't know. I would assume there's some regional dominance in Buffalo in that upstate New York region or Western New York, wherever Buffalo is actually located, but I honestly have no idea. I believe I listened to a food podcast once that, you know, the initial premise of the story was which of these two white guys who claim they created the Buffalo wing created it, but then of course it turns out that the recipe had been stolen from African American

families and that makes appropriated by white people. That sounds about right. We're awful once again, yeah. All right, so I've handed you each your cup. Before you say that, sorry, before we get into it, tweet at us where you think the best wings are. I want to hear it. I would love to hear that.

Also, my food Twitter is at Matt Selman Eats. Oh, yes. And my regular Twitter is at Matt Selman. And I should have done an Instagram for the food when I didn't. And I'm 44. All right, so I've handed you each a cup of liquid. Go ahead and describe, you guys don't know what it is, go ahead and describe for our listeners what you're sensing, what you're smelling and tasting.

It seems carbonated. I think it's a carbonated drink. Smells a little like citrusy. Fresca family. Fresca family is a great call. I think it's around there. No one's beaten me at the Weigar Challenge, by the way, Selman. So this whoever gets closest.

Yes, closest or guesses it correctly. Closest without going over. Yeah, Mitch is three and O in the Weigar Challenge so far. Why didn't we buy Bdub stock just over the, in June, it's not like $50, it's not like 25%. I've been looking at his phone, I believe, at the Buffalo Wild Wing stock. Yeah. Are you using the Stocks app?

Yeah. I've never seen anyone use the Stocks app. Maybe you need to hang out with more higher paid writers. Yeah. No offense. The ad midnight writers taking selfies. I'm going to give it a sip, I think it's, I'm guessing it's kind of in the squirt family maybe or cactus, but cactus cooler, I believe, is orange, so let's try it.

I don't drink soda anymore, so I'm not, if that's an advantage or a disadvantage. Hmm, strange, I don't think it's diet, it tastes a little too sugary for me to be diet and be fresca. I actually like it, it's refreshing. It is refreshing. It's really sweet. People love swallowing noises, I know that. When you mix this episode, turn those up like that.

Oh, yeah, we've gotten multiple complaints and people have threatened to stop listening to the Stocks. Yeah, from the gulping and trying. It's just inevitable. I mean, the alternative is we're either cutting time out of this or dead air. You know, I mean, it's just, it's like, is it flat? Did you open it a while ago? I will say the container was just opened.

The container was opened half carbonated. That's why I think it might be something like, I don't think it's this, but you know, like the, what are those like Italian lemon drinks or whatever, I don't think it's that because those have stronger tastes. Yeah. The ones that have the little foil on top of the, yeah, what are those called? San Pellegrino. Yes, those are good.

Yes. I mean, it almost tastes like some weird Korean, you know, what language is this soda? There's no explicit time limit on the Weiger challenge, but I think we can start getting to your guesses. I'm going to go with a squirt because, because I don't know what else to, there's a lot of different elements in it, but I, I feel like the San Pellegrino will, will, will push me too far off. And I'm just thinking maybe like I've already helped you too much with the Fresca collaborating.

I know. I guess that's the nature of it. I'm going squirt, squirt. I'm not happy with my answer, but I got to give that answer. That is your answer. So, yeah, Selman. I feel like I lack the words and experience to properly analyze this and that I'm rarely in the soda aisle of any place, but I'm just going to go with my heart, which says strange

Korean soda. In a blue can. Strange. Strange. It's a specific saying. It's in a blue can. In a dark blue can. In a dark blue can.

Has the student me bested his master, Selman? Mitch, you retain your championship belt. You were dead on. It is squirt. Wow. Can you really squirt? Yes. Wow.

Wow. I'm impressed with myself. Well played. You know what? I gave a good tip tonight and I got the soda right. What a good guy. Selman, I'm embarrassed that I knew that. I may have never had squirt before.

It's not bad. I'm actually, I'm a squirt apologist. I think it's pretty good refreshing offbeat grapefruit soda that is nice to have. So, it is a great, it is in the grapefruit family. Yeah. It's got like a grapefruit flavoring to it. I've always liked fresca. I mean, it's a diet soda.

It's got that aspartame flavor, but it's pretty good. Fresca is not bad for a diet soda. I feel, as I've gotten over, I've liked more of those caffeine-free, carbonated, like mildly flavored drinks. And I feel like squirt is in that sort of, like you were saying, the fresca family. I agree with that. All right. That's the Weigur Challenge.

Just like a restaurant, we value your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. Today's email comes to us from Lindsay Phillips. Lindsay writes, ahoy, ahoy, dough boys. I'm an expat living in Prague and I've noticed that the reputation of American food here is very poor. I often hear comments about the low quality and lack of diversity in American chain restaurants, which leads people to believe that American food is only hamburgers and fried items.

Places like Cracker Barrel or perhaps Boston Market offer more regional home-style dishes. I was wondering what chain you would choose to be a representative of the broader spectrum of American food. Thanks. Z-Pause-Drevim, Lindsay Phillips. Hmm. What does that last thing mean? I don't know.

Goodbye or something? I just read it. I just read it as much as I could. I did some whatever, some check word. What do we think, fellas? Any chain you would say as a representative of American food to a perhaps skeptical European audience? Wow.

Well, you know what? There's a lot of people hating on some of that stuff. Really is everyone above McDonald's? You know what I mean? Yeah, sure. McDonald's kind of great. But I mean, sure, here's the deal. If we're going to get into that sort of thing of what's a great fast food chain, you've got

to go with your in and out, your five guys. You've got to go with some of these top of the line places that are coming out now, because it seems like what they're criticizing the U.S. fast food chains on is kind of poor quality meat and just kind of garbage food. Sure. I just don't necessarily agree. I disagree with those Europeans or wherever the hell she's from. So much of what this podcast is, like we've said, is you're craving that specific thing.

We're not ranking this as... It's not on a spectrum of like, oh, you could eat at a five star, one of the best restaurants in the world. It's for... There's a lot of other factors that go into it. Yeah, definitely. The question is absurd that if you want representative food of America, whatever region of America you're in, go find the authentic food in that area that people have been cooking there for

a long time. Yes. So if you're in Charleston, find the Charleston guys barbecue shack that's been there for 150 years and has no health code and is dripping with fat and it's the authentic rib sandwich you'll ever have. I mean... I agree with that. Every time I go to a city that's much...

You want to hate America, yeah, try our fast food chains, definitely. But then you know, but we know what we're doing in talking about this food. We could have a parallel podcast called Non-Chain Doe Boys where we just go to like weird Korean holes in the wall and awesome taco trucks, which are Farley Elliot, our friend. I bought his book by the way. Oh, that's awesome. I ordered Farley Elliot's book. That's right up your alley.

Right up my alley. And that's what you should be doing is eating the local place wherever you are the same way you would in Czechoslovakia, right? Get there like human flesh potato dumplings or whatever they have. So I agree with Selman and usually when I go to different cities and stuff, I try to go to whatever, you know, restaurant or whatever is recommended. As far as chains go, that's a different story. What do you recommend?

I can enjoy Domino's. I've said that before on this podcast. I love Wendy's. Maybe if it had to be a fast food burger place, I'd say try Wendy's. You can have a good meal from Wendy's if it's the right Wendy's. We've talked about Chipotle on this podcast. That seems like kind of a higher quality place. As far as pizza goes, Domino's, I mean like, what do you choose?

Domino's or Pizza Hut? I just feel like you're not going to win over a European with American chain pizza. You're not. It's impossible. I think you stick to burgers and I also feel like KFC. I feel like KFC is very interesting. KFC is pretty good. KFC is so location dependent though.

Yeah. Yes. That's true. But yeah, I don't know. You could impress with the KFC. That was in the back of my head too. I would say if someone's coming over here, I might take them to an in and out burger or, you know, I mean, just because I think that's such a go to and that's a personal

favorite spot. In terms of American like sit down chain restaurants, yeah, I think she mentioned it, but maybe like a cracker barrel is just like, oh, that's kind of like the pretty good version of the or the good version of like that sort of American diner concept or American sort of down home country restaurant concept. But yeah, I don't know. I think someone's right. There's just, there's no way to win here.

There's just, if you're dealing with a skeptical European audience, then there's no American chain that's going to make them say like, oh, you know what, this is good stuff. Maybe Wendy's. Maybe Wendy's is the answer. That's our answer. I also agree with Wendy's. Yeah. Wendy's is great.

Damn, I'm trying to find a list of the top chain restaurants. It may be a fun, like guess where the your guess where where we went is on the list of Oh, that's a great idea. Someone should produce some of this shit with Dustin, of course. I can't stop producing. I'm sorry, Justin. There's a magazine called National Restaurant News that I highly recommend you guys follow. Oh my God, you get that.

Well, I don't subscribe to it, but so I don't get all the information, but I follow it on Twitter and I could read about that stuff endlessly about the new crazy menu items and like, you know, Caesar salad, this is taken over America and you know, just listing the top. He's always. This stuff is locked. Someone has always had his finger on the pulse of what's going on in the food world. So I say we take his advice and follow that.

I mean, that'd be a fun. You could figure it out ahead of time and make people guess like, oh my God, I'd say Buffalo Wild Wings is probably in the top. It's got to be in the top 30 or so. Well, we're talking about revenue and popularity. Yeah, it's got to be up there at this point and just got so many locations and they're just doing such great business. Yeah.

We'll figure that out. We'll figure out some ways to inject some more professionalism into our podcast and more running features. I think that's a great suggestion. I'll be pitching this off here. No, this is fantastic. I love it. I love where this podcast has got Buffalo Wild Wings in 2010 was number 26.

Oh, wow. So it's got to be even higher. Yeah. Wow. Have a decade ago at this point. If you're out there and you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at doboyspodguest at gmail.com, follow us on Twitter at doboyspod, check out our Facebook fan page, just just do boys.

And I want to say I hope we weren't too hard on that girl. That was a great question. I thought it was a great question, Lindsay. I thought the question was great. I think it's just a difficult one to answer. I just feel bad for her because if she were to come to America, the internet doesn't exist and you couldn't type in three words that would let you know fantastic food to have in any city that would blow your mind that is so much better than anything you've ever

had in an entire Eastern Bloc for your entire life. There's no five word search that you could type in on any machine that anyone owns that would direct you to unbelievable food, also not prepared in horrible, unhealthy post-Soviet slaughterhouses. Oh my God. Well, best of luck, Lindsay. Good luck out there. By the way, can I another foodie shout out thing?

Of course. Yes. I saw a great food-related documentary and not depressing. It makes you want to kill yourself like Food Inc. called Searching for General So on Netflix. Oh, okay. You may have scanned, passed it and said, what was that? It's just about the history of General So's chicken, sort of an emblematic, kind of Americanized

Chinese dish. Yes. And it tells the history of Chinese food in America and the Chinese immigrant experience in America and all those crazy old school, one per town, giant Chinese restaurants that seem to exist all over America and all the way up through P.F. Chang's and fancy Chinese restaurants. So if you're obsessed with like Americanized Chinese food like I am, this quest for the origin of this one dish is quite entertaining and fun, non-suicide provoking documentary,

unlike most documentaries. I didn't check it out. I didn't check it out. I heard it was good too. Yeah. That's cool. Searching for general so. Awesome.

Other than that documentary, Matt, is there anything else you'd like to plug in? I know you mentioned your Twitter handle. Twitter handle, at Matt Selman eats my regular Twitter handle at Matt Selman. Oh, okay. I know you can edit. This is all boring. Just edit it all out. No.

You know, I do sort of specialize on the Simpsons and food episodes. And so I did a show about the foodie phenomenon a couple years ago that I thought was good with him and Eric. We're gonna end with about the family becoming foodies and homers like what the hell is this crap? What are you doing? So then I'll find that on TheSimpsonsWorld.com and then I have another food episode that's gonna air in October, early October, called Cue Detective about a mystery set in Springfield's

barbecue underworld that I'm very excited about, and that's food-motivated. There's something to start with the title and write the episode around it. That's a good I planned. And then, you know, a lot of the episodes I pour my love into have a lot of by default just to food references. And I love including chain restaurants and chain fake chain restaurants and fake chain restaurant entrees and Simpsons episodes that we did one. There's a restaurant called Scobos that we invented.

That's kind of like the Denny's that's not in your town that you've never heard of. So like you're used to going to Denny's and you go to a new town and they have a, what is this place? Scobos. But it's their Denny's. Gotcha. And they had a line of, I don't know, I'm just talking about jokes I like. Scobos signature skippers.

No, excuse me. Scobos signature sippers that were their massive menu of unbelievably disgusting, fruity novelty drinks. If you told me Scobos existed in Scobos signature sippers existed, I would believe it. Definitely plausible. Sounds totally believable. It was like Butterscotch and gin and eggs, Benedictine's and stuff. I love that.

I can write that stuff all day. My favorite fake chain food is like my favorite thing at work and people have to like slap me to stop me from doing it. Well, it's really one of the first foodies and a pleasure to have you on here. Thank you guys for having me. This is like a dream come true. Oh, a real treat. Well thank you so much.

And for the Spoo Man Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Until next time. Happy eating. See ya.