Doughboys - Burger King 3 with Haley Mancini

Episode Date: August 22, 2019

The 'boys are joined by actor, writer, and voice-over artist Hayley Mancini (The Last Kids on Earth) to return to Burger King and sample their new meatless Impossible Whopper. Plus, another segment of Breaking Chews as we review the new Reese's donuts available at Krispy Kreme. Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Carbon emissions are currently warming the planet on a pace that will turn the end of the 21st century into the beginning of the apocalypse. And one of the biggest factors in U.S. emissions is the excess of beef in the American diet. Cattle ranching presents an enormous ecological inefficiency. Cows not only consume an inordinate amount of water, about 1,800 gallons per pound of beef, according to one estimate, but methane expelled by cattle accounts for as much as 10% of carbon emissions worldwide. As doctor and science writer James Hamblin theorized in a recent Atlantic article, in

reference to reducing our carbon footprint, Americans replacing beef with beans alone – quote – could achieve somewhere between 46 and 74% of the reductions needed, end quote. And aside from the climate crisis, the cruelty of factory farming has led many Americans to reduce their beef consumption, or avoid it entirely. Like competitor Beyond Meat, Impossible was founded with the goal of replicating the taste, texture, and even moisture of meat with a plant-based simulation. Founded in Redwood City, California, and boosted by the kind of venture capital usually reserved for app developers, Impossible developed their product by extracting a compound called Lehemoglobin

from soy and merging it with yeast to simulate animal blood and muscle. The result tastes like a magic trick. Today, the company has valued at $2 billion and has established its presence at several well-known chains, sit-down burger restaurants umami burger and islands, national pizza joint Little Caesars, and now the second largest hamburger sandwich chain in the nation. So perhaps a small part of the climate crisis can be addressed by something that once seemed impossible, a meatless burger as good as the real thing. This week on Doughboys, we return to Burger King to sample the impossible whopper.

Doughboy! Doughboy! Doughboy! Doughboy! Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, Otis Bredding, Mike Spoon Mitchell. Yeah, I kind of like that one too. Hey, you know what? That was sent in from Phil Kramer in Cape Town, South Africa. Wow! So, uh, hello to our pal down under. Oh my God!

Down under South Africa! They kind of sound like, they do sound like Australia. They do sound like that. Um... roastspoonman at gmail.com if you'd like me to, uh, read your insult on the show and make fun of your homeland. Mitch! Yes? You've gotten, I'd say you're in a good mood.

Are you in a good mood? I was going to sing, Nick, I was going to sing, sit down on a duck with some bread. That's pretty good. Maybe, uh, cooking up some stock with Old Bay. Oh, I'm making stuffing? Yeah. Oh, wait, it's like stock, like stock, like Old Bay is the season. Oh, okay.

I don't know. I was trying to think of something with Bay in it, right? That's how it is. Oh, okay. I just, because he called me Otis Bredding, so I decided to sit down with duck with some bread. Oh, that would be good, yeah. Right. No, it was bad.

Yes, I am. No, no, I'm a ham hawk all day. I am in a good mood. We can't talk about it. No, yeah, we can't. We certainly can't talk about you being in a good mood on the show. It'd be off. This is actually true.

It'd be an off game for dough boys. It is true. No, yes. I can't talk about it. I know what you mean, but I was just going to say, like, it's a, it's interesting because sometimes they're around you and you're a little cranky. Oh, shut the fuck up. You're, you, here's the thing.

I can be cranky too. You get, you get more, you on the road, you are immediately. Oh, I'm very cranky on the road. This trip is going to be hell for everyone who's not me and me as well. I'm just taking you guys along with me. Yeah. No, I get real cranky on the road. I don't like to travel, but and I don't like to be in surroundings that I'm not

familiar with, but Mitch, I was just going to say, like, you're usually a little tightly wound for these records and you feel like you're maybe a little bit gargoyle right now. I don't know if that's the case. I look, there's something, there's, there's, there's something that, look, I can't talk about it. So we can't talk about it. No, we don't need to talk about anything.

We don't need to talk about any specifics. We can be very, we can be as vague as we're being right now. I'm just saying that you're mood right now. I have a good feeling about. Yeah. Let's see what happens. Also, we might be canceling some tour dates. Anyways.

And I'm in a good mood about that. Nick, I got to drop. I am, I'm very, I'm very, there is something going on, but we can't, maybe that we won't can't say anything ever. Maybe some of this will be edited. I don't know. It might be edited out. Oh, fuck.

I made sure that Otis Redding was saying, sitting on a dock of the, sitting on the dock of the bay. And I, and I got rid of my, I got rid of your drop. Oh, here we go. I got it. I got it. Okay. Here's a little drop.

Also, to the artist formerly known as spoon nation. I'm just as wise as tree beard. Brown is talking Mary. The tree is talking. I thought that my Mickey Mouse doll grabbed my arm. Nick. Yeah. Guess who it was per singer.

It was the food man. Oh, shampooed. Legendary drop artist shampooedler. This is, this is, this is how shampooedler in our relationship is now. The, the, the, what's it called? What's the meat of the email called the body? The body. Thank you.

The body is, it just, he just says hello, and then he just attached it. Just attach the drop. That's cool. He doesn't need to do anything else. They're a power move. Yeah. Thank you. Shampoo that was good.

I like shampoo. They're swinging his big dick around. That's what that is. Jesus. God, how do you? He's just a dog in sunglasses for all I know. He's certainly got some BDE. Dude's back in, you know, one word body and attachment.

And he knows he's going to play it on the air. Mitch, uh, it's pretty crazy. I also, our guest is a fan of that series, I believe. Oh, how about that? Yeah. I was just going to say the, the most joy I feel like I've ever felt on the podcast, the most sheer joy was reacting to you, hearing for the first time your, story about being afraid of your Mickey Mouse doll coming to life and touching your arm.

Let's introduce our guest. An actor, writer and voiceover artist. Her new show, The Last Kids on Earth, premiered September 17th on Netflix. Haley Mancini. Hi, Haley. Hi guys. Thanks for having me. Sorry I was really trying not to laugh.

No, no, no, no. It's fun. What happened with Mickey? One night. Hi, Mike. This is Mickey. I love Mickey. Well, I went, look, we, I think, I think we were in, I think we, I think we stayed at

the Grand Floridian, uh, when I was a young boy. You're at a Disney hotel. A Disney hotel, um, and they, uh, because they upgraded us for whatever reason and they put, and so they were, there was a reason and, uh, I ate too many churros and got sick. That gets you an upgraded Disneyland. Oh my God. Well, they were cheering me on. That was, they were cheering me up.

They were, they were shocked that I could eat so many, that I eat so many churros. It's a human garbage disposal. Pukers get the penthouse. So they, they, they upgraded us to, like, uh, I don't know if they were going to stay there, but whatever we got. So like every night they put, like, they put something on our bed. It was like really nice. And then we got a Mickey Mouse doll on our bed.

So normally where like a mint would be. Yes. It's like they really, something happened when I don't know what happened. I don't remember. My mom will know. I'll yell at her about it tonight. I figure out what it is. Um, and so this Mickey Mouse was by my bed.

I was afraid to sleep in my room for a long time. Have I ever, have I ever admitted that on the podcast? Your, your room at your child at home or on the road or everywhere? My room in the childhood, in my childhood home. Okay. Because of this? Well, this didn't help, but wait. So you're on something else.

You're on, you're at the Grand Floridian right now. I slept, I slept between my, I slept between my mom and dad. Okay. At this hotel, in this hotel. But there's a Mickey. No, I got the Mickey at the hotel, brought it home. Okay. You brought it home.

So this didn't happen at the hotel. It didn't happen at the hotel. There was no Mickey's grabbing me at the hotel. So much. It's not haunted. Your home is haunted. Yes. So, so much unnecessary preamble.

I just like 20 minutes about how you got upgraded at this hotel. I was afraid to sleep in my mom. I was afraid to sleep in my own room. Yeah, and then it was different because we had to take a different elevator. It went way. All right. Look, everyone, I got the doll. The doll was sitting on my shelf and then one night.

I mean, like Child's Play came out around this time or whatever. Sure. All right. And then I in the middle of the night, I thought that I felt that the hand came out and grabbed me. I thought the dog grabbed me. And it freaked me out. A boy who was already already so hard to sleep in.

You know, my parents are just in the other room trying to fucking. None of your other dolls? Are you sure? No, just the Mickey. Just the Mickey. My mom and dad are in the other room trying to rub one out. And then they're each. They're each.

They're each. They're masterpieces. They're each masterpieces. Yeah. Lateral masterpieces. Look, we'll face different directions. We'll just get it done. And this Mickey doll.

They go back to back. I'll lean against me and I'll lean against you. We'll both jack off. Neither of us has to jack off with our heads in the mud. Wait a minute. Oh, that's a far as come thing, but they don't. They don't jack off though. No, they don't.

Well, we don't know. That's a lot of things could happen. That's in Zemeckis's director's kind. Do you remember there was going to be a there was going to be a future. There was going to be a there was going to be like another far as come that for real that would that. Oh, yes. It followed him into the future.

Yeah. Yeah. It wouldn't well, not the future, but like beyond the really he apparently he's involved in in that sequel. He's involved in the OJ trial in some capacity. I think he stumbles upon OJ committing the murder. Okay. Good.

I thought maybe he was the real murderer. Oh, it could have been. He was the real murderer. That I mean, that's the choice they want to make because he inspired everyone to do everything they did. He sat with OJ at a hotel bar and was like, well, the sounds like you should kill your ex. What kind of friend brings sunglasses back to someone's house?

That's not a waiter at a restaurant. That's something more going on. Who reboots forest gump? It's very strange. This is where we're at. No, there was no this is a sequel idea. There was no no there didn't they write a book. This was in the day and it was the yeah, the original author wrote an insane sequel.

I think as a he either wrote the screenplay or might have actually published a book. As a joke. And it's very strange. No, like it's just like he's out of his fucking mind. You know what, Nick? You're going to be impressed by this. I looked at it. What's it called?

Wait, should we guess? Well, okay. No, you can guess. Okay. Okay. Go first. Okay. Yeah, you go first.

First. Forced gump to Nick. You are correct. Oh, mine was so good. What was yours? Gump thump. Gump thump. Little chumble.

Womba time. Yeah, first time in the 90s. Well, this is this is the this is the fun fact. I was going to share with you guys for scum to forest gump. He comes up with dough boys in the book sequel. Oh boy. Oh, no, you should. You should call it dough boys.

He inspires you and me to little fat kids playing by ourselves. Were you guys both fat kids? I was a plump little boy. I was not a fat kid and I take a lot of issue with this. I was a thin boy. That's true. I said gather round and watch me suck in my stomach everyone. You said that and then Mickey came out and you ran.

A lot of friends didn't know about the Mickey thing. I did not. I put it in a drawer up in the attic. How do you know he got you said you were aware that he grabbed you? Did you like see his little glove? I saw his gloved hand in the night and the in the in the in a slither of light from my open door. I saw the gloved hand grab me and you felt it.

You felt something on your arm. This should have been one of the. This should have been one of the scary stories to tell in the dark. Yes, very scary. Wait, wait. Okay, wait. Hold on. Did you just see the arm?

I saw the arm and then I saw Mickey. He winked at me. No, I saw the arm in my childhood head whether it was sleep paralysis. I think it was sleep paralysis. Honestly, I think it was an on an early case of sleep paralysis that I because I more than anything in my entire life. I thought it was real. Yeah, and and and and I put the I put it in a and a drawer up in the draw

and I put it in a shelf up in the attic. Okay, and I went up there later. Yeah, check, check the draw. He was and he was gone. He was gone. Wow, it was like a year or so later. That's right because that's the the Disneyland resort came back to claim like they had to.

They're like, we upgraded him and this is what he did with our Mickey. Fuck that churro kid. Fuck that guy. They still call me the churro kid when I go to Disney. Hayley, you are a cat owner is yes. I am a cat owner. Yes. And you proud cat mom.

Hey, no one would ask that, Nick, by the way. What? You are a cat owner. Yes. Yes. All right. Sorry. Are you not, Nick?

No, I'm not a cat owner. I'm a cat respecter. Oh, that's good. That's good. No, you were very excited. I know you have cats. You were excited to meet Wally and Irma before the show. So cute.

They're very cute cats. They're very cute cats. They're very soft. And you didn't respect cats until you got to know Wally and Irma. Whoa. You thought Wally was disrespecting you for a long time. Holy shit. Wally does disrespect me and that kind of earns my respect.

Well, yeah, that's right. He doesn't give a fuck. Yeah, he doesn't give a fuck. He's a bad boy. Yeah, exactly. He's the guy that walks into the audition and they're like, whoa, he just doesn't care. He doesn't care at all.

Yeah, that guy's got to get like, I hear he's got a philosophy degree. I should cast him. Moving on. The world of jokes. You have Toy Story, Paper towel. That's something I keep looking at. Also, I want to clear something up for the listeners.

Sure, sure. Just to be clear, I am taking Wally out for auditions. Oh, wow. I wonder if you could get a cat agent because they're very handsome cats. The thing is, I think cats that need to have a very specific... Well, Irma's pretty, but... Irma's very pretty.

Well, Irma can be handsome. Okay, sure. I don't know how it works. Woo was in a sketch at UCB. She was in a video sketch. Really? Whoa, very cool. She did a beautiful job. She was...

I have two cats named BB-8 and Wu-Tang. And... Wow. That's right. This is big news for Nick because one of my good... One of my best friends from... I say good, but he is one of my best... I mean, all of them are best friends.

We're texting him today. Yeah. You guys are close. Well, you guys just texted each other to say hi. You love Wu, yeah? Wait, have you met them? Wu-Tang from Quincy. Oh, got it.

He is his buddy Adam Wu, Wu-Tang from... Got it, got it, got it. From Quincy, Massachusetts. From Quincy. But your cat is not... It's not... His legal name isn't Adam Wu when he goes by Wu-Tang. It's a lady.

It's a lady, okay, I apologize. And she... It's okay. Don't worry about it. She is orange, so people think she's a boy. Oh, interesting. She's a... Garfield.

That's the Garfield... The Heathcliff thing, yeah. Exactly. That's right. The Garfield, the Heathcliff. You know what, it's broad stroke stuff in this cat. She's very particular. She's a...

So that was her foster name. So by the time... Oh, got it. That my ex that I was with at the time was like... Of course, that's what exes are. That's who you're with at the time. Anyway, by the time we decided to keep her, she had gotten used to being called Wu.

So we're like, well, let's not just change it. So now she's Wu-Tang. That's great. I do like Wu-Tang. I don't know if I like Wu-Tang enough to like validate that name, but here we are. Wu's last name is W-O-O, Adam. Yes.

Oh, it is. Okay. But also his name was Wu, so it's Wu-Tang. So it works. So it works. It works out fine. Wu-Tang rules. And Beebee was on...

She was on My Cat from Hell. Whoa. But she wasn't the cat from Hell. Okay. Wow. Yeah, she... So there's a wonderful... The place where I adopted both of my cats,

Sanhedore Rescue. They're great. Everybody should go. Hailey, that's who we are. Partners with the Golden Paw Club here on Doe Boys. That's right. What does that mean? Excellent question.

I think we're still unclear, but... We each month, we sponsor a different cat, and we try to generate... Oh, okay. ...attention for the Sanhedore Foundation. Oh, my God. Okay, well, this is a natural plug, because when Sanhedore was...

They were... They redid their shelter, right? Yes. So I went before they redid the shelter, and I met Beebee, and she was... She was the chonkiest cat at the rescue. Love a good chonk. She was a real chonk, and she had a bunch of accessories.

She came with a bunch of accessories, like Barbie. So... Oh, nice. Yeah, so I was like, I want this cat. And then... What were the accessories? She came with her own scratching incline... Wow.

...and a brush. And there was a sign on her cage that said, brush and scratching incline are mine. Wow. Do not take. And she came with her own carrier, too. So she was very loved by her previous owner. This is possibly like more stuff

than Weigher has in his apartment. I have a laptop and a switch, I'm set. So I adopt Beebee, right? And then, like a couple months later, I get a... Or like, I get an email from them, because I'm out of time. I was in France for representing our show at Anisee.

Oh, Hailey. Very cool. Yeah, Hailey, I hope you didn't pronounce it that way when you were there, or you would have gotten a lot of upset French people. Hi, bitch, it's me. Stay away from your own Disneyland. I wonder if they do have...

I got upgraded at Disneyland Paris. Do you think we have any French listeners? If we do have any French listeners out there, hello, down under. Thanks for listening. So you're in your France. So I get this email from them. And it's like, you have to watch My Cat From Hell.

And I was like, what the heck is this about? So they had... The secret was that Jackson Galaxy, the host of My Cat From Hell, had come into their shelter to work with a certain cat. To Santador? Yeah, and then he was like, surprise, I'm going to make over Santador.

And I watched the episode and like, the DP had taken a liking to Beebee. Because it was before they shot it before I adopted her. So she's the bumper on every commercial break. That's amazing. They're sitting on her, looking through a little cage. And it's really funny. And I'm like, she's such a star.

So you can look it up, My Cat From Hell, Santador, and you'll see Beebee. So we're going to have to take Wally and Beebee out to auditions. Oh, yeah. I think it's just going to happen. Oh, yeah. And Irma too.

Irma could be good for speaking roles. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. She speaks a lot. She does voiceover. She does a lot of voiceover. Actually, she'd be the only one that could... Because Irma is very comfortable around people.

You could put her in the spot. Yeah, why didn't you? You're like, Wally's scared. You literally, I walk in and you're like, Wally's kind of skittish. So you're going to fucking force him into auditions. That's a good point. That's true.

Hey, I'm skittish. I'm skittish. I still go in for auditions. It's skittish. It's true. I can't sit still. That's true. Nick and I have had to block your exit from an office.

Get him. Get him. He's right down the hall. That's like when I wrote for birthday voice. Trying to get out of there. My cat from hell on for seven seasons. I didn't realize it was that much of an institution, an animal planet.

You know, I don't like this saying the cats are from hell. Hell is a bad place. Reminds you of where Mickey was going to drag you? Just trying to cool me. Look, I was scared of Mickey at the time, but I got news for our listeners. Not scared of Mickey anymore. Which Disney character are you scared of?

Pretty much the rest of them. Who's the Disney character to be as... Well, you know what? There's some scary stuff in Fantasia. Yeah, that's true. Like, isn't there like a little devil in Fantasia? There's some real... There's some major devils.

Oh, yeah. Fantasia is... Well, some of that early stuff was pretty dark. Yeah. Like, those before they really split it off for kids. Right. So... I have a goddaughter.

Did you know this about me? Yeah. I'm a godfather. Yeah, that's true. Wow. I'm a godfather. Nick, what? This is an hack?

This... No, this is good. Do you think this is hacky or something? No, I think it's very good. No, it really is. Like... Good. God, I love my little goddaughter,

and I take her out to dinner. Oh, God. Her name's Mia. Very nice name. And I... So, I went over to... I went over to Mia's house. It's Neil's family,

but I don't know if I should be... Some people don't like their kids' names being said. Got it. But... So, maybe we'll bleep this out. It's your friend's kid. And so, I went over to the house, and they were watching, like, a newer Disney thing,

and who was it? Fat Pete? Who was, like, the bad guy? Was it Big Pete? Fat Pete? Oh, yeah. There's some sort of Pete guy. You know what you mean? The Goofy's antagonist?

Yeah. He's friends with them now. They become friends. This is bullshit. They retconned it. Oh, I'm sorry. He has a character arc. Is that a problem?

What is it? Is it Big? What is it? What is it? Is it Fat Pete? Is it Pete? Apparently, his name is Pete, but his previous names Peg Leg Pete,

Pistol Pete, and Black Pete. Black Pete, okay. He was, yeah, he's now there. He was standing in a circle with them dancing and shit. Wow. Wow. I fucking screamed. That's not the Pete I know from Alice Solves the Puzzle

from 1925. That's what I'm talking about. That's not the Pete I remember from Bell Boy, Donald. Mitch just turns it off and he's like, sorry, Mia, we're just going to watch commercials. No, you just look at this blank screen. Until they honor the Pete that I remember

from The Vanishing Private. Kind of a strange name for a child's cartoon. I assume it's private like the ring. Yes, no, I know what the private is, but it sounds like a porno name. Yeah, it does. Whoa. It does.

Whoa. Dude, you're twisted. The Vanishing Private. I pay big money for a Disney porno. Like an officially, what one wrote? One, they got that deep in the Disney vault. They're just waiting for someone to bid enough. Oh, for sure.

For sure, for sure. Donald and Daisy going to town on each other. Oh my God. Just back to back, just cranking off. I mean, you can see that from anybody that went through art school though. Yeah, right. It's almost like there was a year of art school

dedicated to Disney characters like fucking her. Disney characters just going at it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, just Google search that, Mitch. You'll find it. Be better art school. You fucking, you know what? I was right to call you all freaks back in the day.

Did you walk around going to art school? By the way, Mitch. No, I never called art school freaks. That thing probably called me a freak. Well, so here's the thing. I listened to some of y'all's episodes. I've listened before and for a while, but then I listened, I caught up.

And I hear that Mitch has the perfect nose. You do have a nice nose. Did I? Did I say this? I don't remember. I don't remember where this came up, but it might have been from you. You were getting fitted for your glasses.

Yes. And you have a perfect nose. That's where it was. And I spent, I was like, there was many times this afternoon where I was like, does Mitch have a perfect nose? Bye. And I'm seeing it.

And you have a really nice nose. Thank you. So pretty good schnoz. You're welcome. Yeah. Very symmetrical. Got a good shape to it. Absolutely.

Not too bulbous. Well, the, the Mitchell's have a very specific nose. I didn't get it. My Nana had a, like a, and we call them Nana nostrils. They were bigger and my dad had them. And, and, and it's like in the Mitchell family, but I got away with a little sleek nose. A little sleek aerodynamic nose.

Yes. I got some of the other monstrous properties that the Mitchell's have. I really want you to go back to your optometrist and he's like, got the same nose as you. And you're like, did you have work done? You got to give me the Mike Mitchell nose. Oh, they fucked up my surgery.

Give me the Mike Mitchell eyes. Mike Mitchell noses sweep in the nation. Think and smell a pizza from a mile away. I don't have X-Men powers for my fucking nose. If you, the minute you said that, Nick, I imagined Mike Mitchell get it wafting on the fumes of pizza. Going through the air towards the pizza. It's the only exercise he gets.

Oh man. Hey, I don't like you teaming up with Weigher. I've known you longer. Think back on the fun. Think back on the day when we were at the theater and Weigher just ignored people like us. Yeah, I do remember that. I mean, I wasn't big shotting anyone.

I was just like, I'm leaving. I wasn't like trying to, I wasn't like a status thing. Just like, I think it was status. I don't know. We would sit there and we'd call you a freak. We assumed you went to art school, so Mitch and I are always just yelling at you. No, I didn't go to art school,

which is why I can't get Daisy's Muff right. You see his journal, it's filled with Goofy's dick all crooked. That's why they call him Goofy. Gosh. Gosh, he gave you a crooked dick, man. Oh boy, this is a mess. Hailey, you are from Colorado. So Colorado, there's a couple of chains

that are native to Colorado, Chipotle and Cudoba. Absolutely. Do you have a favorite of the two? I love Chipotle. Wow. Also, you know what else is native to Colorado? There's Quiznos, which I know everybody rips on. I've always loved Quiznos.

A Quiznos sympathizer. We were really nice to Quiznos when we had it. We went fairly recently. It was not bad. The Hailey Joel Osment episode. I think it's pretty good and they have good cookies. Another Hailey. Hailey loves Quiznos.

Well, well, well, it seems that all Haileys are very cool. I mean, that's a good theory. You can test it out. Your original Chipotle is actually right next to DU, Denver University, and it's right on Evans, and we'd go to it all the time. Wow, that's awesome. And so it's cool.

I think that people are too mean to Chipotle because they get a little food poisoning. I think that you sacrifice it because they use more responsible farms and stuff, and that's kind of something that can happen more often that way. So it's up to you because they're not giving their cows antibiotics or whatever. Why are you almost moved to Denver?

And maybe still will. When? I'm weighing it. It's the thing we discussed. Just don't say you're from California. Oh, really? People don't like that? Hell no.

We do not like it. Oh, we. I'm definitely one of them. It's tough. I love LA. I love living out here, but there's a lot of people that have moved from California that they move, and then they're like, yeah, I love Denver.

Ugh, the drivers here suck. Ugh, the people here suck. And you're like, well, cool. I guess, why did you move here? What's this all about? Yeah. So, and the traffic's pretty bad now. Yeah, that won't be me.

I won't interact with anyone. Oh, good. Oh, that's right. Yeah, you just walk past me. You walk past me when you do shows. Yeah. No, but as long as people move there and are like, kind of like, okay, this is what I'm doing now.

Right. This is where I live. Then I don't. People from Colorado don't have a problem with it. Don't move there. Why would you move there? Like. Don't move there.

I don't know. Look. Just trying to escape. That's my whole philosophy. Oh, you're in one of those phases. Yeah, I'm ready to get out of here. Another Dillon Klebold, okay? What?

You're a lot like Dillon Klebold. That's my, that's what the joke is. First off, you know I'd be the Eric Harris. He's the one who planned it out. Oh, that's right. You'd be the Dillon Klebold. Oh, my God. One who comes along for their ride.

Jesus. You sung, I mean, you sung as a huge Chipotle enthusiast. Or how are you reacting on this? Yeah, you saw, we'll use you to transition from Columbine stuff. You're a huge Chipotle fan, right? But how are you, this Haley's sticking up for your favorite chain.

How are you responding to this? Yeah. Or were you just napping over there with your hood over your eyes? You were sleeping. No, it's just cold with the AC. Yeah, we're trying to keep you awake. I like you song's glasses.

They're really nice. They really frame the space. Thank you. You can say anything about Chipotle. I'm okay with that. Okay. Yeah. All right.

Well, I like it. You saw how cold are you? It's just, it's just a little, it's in the line of fire from the air conditioning. Should we have you something to sit in the kitchen when you're on a hug? You go to the kitchen. If you sit under, if you sit more under it,

I think it would be better, honestly. If you move that laptop, oh no, you almost sat on my laptop. There's tons of great porn in that thing. I download it. I download it so I can keep it. I do not understand people to download for like, yeah, like it's streaming now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stupid. Some people like to hoard like data in the same way that you hoard, you know, possessions. I don't quite get it. I don't really hold on to anything. We know that about you, but you are not a sentimental man. No.

But so wait, so Colorado, Chipotle, Cudobo, what other food in Colorado do you like? Oh boy. There is, you know, a lot has changed, but there is this place that I don't even know if it's still there, but it's right next to Coors Field and it's called El Chapultepec. And that place is like a down home Mexican restaurant

that had been around since, like my, I'm a fifth generation Colorado, and so it had been around since- Fifth generation. Yeah, yeah, guys. That's why I'm weird about the explosion of population. It's just like a big change. Are you gonna, do you think you will end up

back in Colorado? Is that like a plan? No, I love it out here. Oh, interesting. Because I like, the thing is, I am a very outdoorsy person. Okay. And LA is, if you, I really fell in love with LA once I realized the San Gabriel's had some really

great hiking trails outside of the city. So from like my house to one of my favorite trails parking is like 30 minutes. Yeah. And I'm out in the mountains, you can't, yeah, you wouldn't know the city's there. Every kind of outdoors is like a three hour drive away. Exactly.

So for me that became that, that was it for LA. I was like, oh, I can get to the beach. I can get to the mountains. I'm fine. As long as I can escape the city pretty quickly. I'm cool. A regular Randy Newman. Revenevo.

Loving LA like she does. I do. I love LA. Which was actually, that song was actually skewering LA back in the day. It was. It was? Yeah.

It had some Santa Ana winds blowing hot from the north. Look at that bum over there. He's down on his knees. Wait, really? Yeah, that's right. Wait, I never listened to the lyrics of this song. The song is also like when they're like Sixth Street, it's supposed to be like, from like,

so it's basically like Sixth Street. There's a lot of wealth if you follow Sixth Street along and then it goes into areas that are not wealthy in like a lot of poor neighborhoods. Okay. So it's supposed to kind of a skewering LA in that way. Why was Randy doing that? Was he just doing that to be like,

my voice is so pleasant, I can get a lot past you people? Maybe so. I think he's just being a little shit. Yeah, I think Weigar's never forgiven him. Oh. I can see it in your eyes, Weigar. Yeah, it's true. And now they played out that when the Lakers win,

they'll play that song. It's true. And Weigar runs through going, no, no, stop. You don't understand the meaning. This is not celebrating the city. Quite the opposite. Weigar's like proudly announced since he's been escorted out of his table center.

Who is that guy? 32 times. I don't know, he ran into the Lakers' shower room. Stop it, all of you. There was better songs about LA. You would be in fucking Hog Heaven in that locker room. Am I wrong? Oh, my God.

Am I wrong? I like the Lakers. I don't necessarily want to see everyone's hogs. Yes, you do. Let's see my favorite player's hogs. Yes. Who wouldn't want to see them? I don't know.

That might be too much. That might be overwhelming. By the way, this is backtracking just a little bit. I do feel it's important. When you guys were singing about Mitch as Otis Bredding. Yes. And you said, sitting on the dock with some bread, I think it should have been sitting on a dock made of bread.

And I'm imagining a wee little Mitch sitting on a French bread. That's good. That's cute. And you're kicking your legs. Right, that's better. Kicking your legs in a little ocean-a-drawn butter. Yeah, exactly. Oh, it's a little food paradise.

Ocean butter. Are there still sharks in the scenario or no? Yeah, yeah, butter sharks. Yeah, butter sharks. Do I want to get eaten by a butter shark or no? You want to eat them, I think. Huh? You're a Homer Simpson in the chocolate world.

And so it's like an opposite effect, where I'm swimming through the waters and sharks are afraid of me. Right, I think so. Whereas now it's, I'm afraid of them. Yes, and they are hunting me. If you go in the water, a shark is hunting you. Now they're scared of you, but that butter has to be melted. So it is a scalding, scalding 250 degrees.

It's over-boiling. Oh my God. Don't get in there. So yeah, you can, I mean, yeah, the sharks are scared of you, but they're 250 degrees. 15, I said, but 15. Okay. Yeah, it's three degrees over-boiling.

It's three degrees over-boiling. Well, if we're talking fair night, I'd risk it. You would? There are worse ways to go. Being boil live and butter. If I was drowning in butter, I would. It's not, it's not, it's not that surprising. Your causes of death, that's like, in terms of probability,

that's like top 10 as of now. Better than dying by Mickey. Yeah, I like, I like, I like, I like me sitting, I like, especially like a little me. It's fun to have a little me. Yeah, a little you and a little, yeah, that's all. I just wanted to touch on that. But yeah, so food in Colorado is okay.

It's fine. Did you, wait, you spent some time in Amsterdam as well. I did. Well, so okay, what? Oh, we didn't talk enough about Colorado food, because also I, my first movie job ever was in Denver, Colorado. That's right. Oh, shooting film?

We've bonded over this back in the day. We did? Yeah, thanks, thanks a lot. You're welcome. Too much post improv parting if you catch my drift. I'm accusing you of. That's right. I'd go to all the parties, do the bits.

I probably thought it was a bit. I'm accusing you of entering those doobie circles. Oh, yes. The doobie circles. No, no, I just went to those parties to sexually harass people. It was a different time. It was a different time. Moving on, moving on.

It was a, it was a pissing contest of who could sexually harass each other. No, no. UCB has never been problematic. Yeah, I looked at the first a movie. I don't know if I ever said the name on here. Looking for Sunday is the name of the movie Sunday. No, don't look it up. Yeah.

Did you find that Sunday? D. A. E. It's D. A. Y. Oh, okay. And the movie doesn't star me. Well, you disappointed when you got the call sheet. Catherine town. Catherine Robert Town's daughter was in it. That's right.

And so what did you do? What did you do in? How did you assist in looking for Sunday? I was a assistant in the camera department. Oh, cool. And basically I was setting up. Oh, you weren't in front of the camera? I was, I was, this is, this is like my, I was 22 years old.

It was like my first job. I was, I was, I was, I was setting up monitors. I mean, like when you first started, I mean, I did want to act, but I didn't know what even I was doing. Great. So you set up monitors and then knocked them down. I mean, basically it was, it was, it was back when, it was back when there was HD monitor.

So it was a very short period of time where I had to like set, move and set up like a hundred, like a hundred pound monitor. Oh, wow. It sucks so much Orlando Jones. I really don't remember talking about this with you and I'm sorry, but I was there for a few months. Yeah, I was there. I saw Dave Matthews band at Red Rocks.

You did tell me I went to the Buckhorn exchange. Yeah. You went to the Buckhorn exchange. I did. What's that? Nick, get with it. You know what? You should go there and you should order a Rocky Mountain oysters.

Yeah, you should. I know what those are. They're testicles. My, my dad did like that exact, he was like, you guys should go and order it. And I'm like, we of course looked at the menu and we're like, no, but I had, I tried rattlesnake there and a couple other. Yeah, you do actually.

So this is probably very different now because it's become very much of a modern city. But when I was a kid, Denver really kind of was still like a cow town. And we didn't get a first influx of population until after the Northridge earthquake in 94. Wow. That recently. And then, so when I was really little, I remember, I mean, I remember we would always eat like,

we really did eat a lot of bison because it's cheap and it's right, and it's right there. And if you didn't know this, bison cannot, it's federal law. They can't be kept in feed lots. Oh, interesting. Yes. So, because they die. Right.

And so they, so they're minimally processed. They're not processed like other. I'm willing to switch and take their place. Feed lots sounds good. Oh, I thought you meant you wanted to switch with a buffalo and have a buffalo host a podcast and then you wander around in a field. That's also sounds nice. I've been writing for animation too long.

I was like, oh, all right, a buffalo on a podcast. So yeah, they're like, we did, and like people would shoot deer and you'd pack the freezer with deer and stuff like that. So it's very interesting now. It's, it's very different. There's a lot of good vegetarian options, which is good. Sure. Cause I'm a weekday vegetarian.

Yeah. But yeah, it's really interesting to see. And like we'd go catch, you'd go catch trout and then you'd come back and like scale it and all that stuff and you cook it up. But I don't think that really happens anymore. Sounds like another time, but you're describing like the 80s and 90s. Super weird. Yeah.

Denver really was a cow town like for a while. It was weird. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, when I was at there and this is 2005, it's still, you could, I mean, like you could still sleep a little bit. Yeah. I mean, just, I mean, just going to the Buckhorn, you see like, oh,

this is like what Denver was like an old West town at one point. Sure. It's, it's, it's cool. Denver is a cool city. Weirdest weather city, I think. Maybe one of the weirdest weather cities ever. Changes all the time. And you had to take that as the other thing is when we were kids,

you had to take in gym class. You had to take a survival course. Whoa. Because you could get stuck on I 70 at the Eisenhower tunnel coming through the past and and it happened. It's happened to every, well, it used to happen to everybody. I don't know if it's happening. So much anymore, but you get stuck there because of blizzard would come in.

Right. And you're like, so like you were required to always have like a blanket in your trunk. You remember, like we had like a rock climbing wall in our public school gym and stuff like that because there's like, and you learn how to do basic survival stuff. That's cool. I don't think it's an issue anymore because I 70 back then was like, like they, you know, two lanes one way, two lanes the other. I don't know.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's that. Yeah. That's great. It is one of those things though that like, and I saw this little little and I think it, but it's, it's different in Denver where it's like,

oh, it feels like it's like 70 degrees and now like, well, now it's snowing or whatever. It's really crazy. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. Nick, you'll love it.

You will love it. Sounds like it'll throw me off a little bit. But Amsterdam, you brought up Amsterdam and there's some weird fucking foods in Amsterdam. Right. So they have, there's a place called FABO, F-E-B-O. And it's like a vending machine type restaurant. I've heard about this place, yes. So like croquettes, like fried croquettes that are just like the fucking grossest,

indescribably, what, like they're like baked, like potato balls, you know. Okay. But like definitely worse for you and you feel that immediately, but they taste really good. They're like stuffed with meat or something? Yeah. Like meat, but it's kind of like blended up stuff. So, and then they also have this thing called frietjes or lach, which means war fries. And it's fries, but it's with a peanut saute and a mayonnaise sauce,

and they fresh cut onions into it. And I got to tell you guys that shit is fucking delicious. It sounds great. It is so good. So if you go to Amsterdam, go get that because most tourists don't think to do it. Yes. But you should. Man, people really love mayo with the fries.

I like it. The states are the only one who's, the United States is like one of the only places that doesn't, right? Yeah. I feel like, I'll do that anytime. Metric system in mayo, man. I know. I know you love mayo.

You eat anything with it. Are you big mayo man? I'm a mayo freak. Oh, whoa. Yeah. No, give me that mayo. Throw a sling me that mayo. Maybe I'll move to the mayo clinic.

Set up shot there. Get a drink directly into my veins. Wait, so it's, they're called war fries? War fries because that's intense. And the mayonnaise, I guess they're at war. Oh, they're at war with each other. Yeah. Cause like they each go in two different little trays.

They don't blend them. And then you dip them in each with like the onions. Damn, I'm going to try and work for us. I don't know what else to say about it. It's just super, super good. Right. But the rest of it, but they also have like weird, they, they look the thinnest people ever and they eat garbage.

They just eat trash. Just even when I was just, I was in Austria and just being in Austria, I was like, and I know this, it's, I know it's a different place, Nick, if you're looking at me like that. It's adjacent Western Europe. Sure. It's in the zone.

It's all the fucking same to me. Holy shit. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. When you're eating all the, just all the food there was, yeah, it's just all, everything seemed heavy. It seemed like a heavy.

It's super heavy, but then they, they walk a lot and they all, and in the Amsterdam, they're riding bikes everywhere and everything like that, but they just don't. Just burning so many calories. Yeah. Can I say something about Warfries? Yeah.

I think it's pretty good. Okay. If you were doing a, if you're doing like a, a food-based parody of Mad Max Fury Road, like it was like a Mad Mac McFlurry Road. Mad Mac, M-A-C, right? Yeah, M-A-C, yeah. Okay.

Then in the, like instead of Warboys, they'd be Warfries. Oh, oh yes. And some of them would have the peanut sauce and someone would have the mayo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then they could activate together and become really dangerous. There you go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And when they, when they were about to like do a suicide, is that when they take like a huff of the mayo? Yeah, they take a huff of the mayo and go. They bond together. That was, that movie reminded me, did you guys ever play Twisted Metal? Yes.

Do you remember Axl? Which was Axl. He was just a guy between two giant wheels and it still makes me laugh. They could have found him because he was like, had nothing to protect him. I'm bringing it back. Oh yes.

Okay. Let me see, let me, let me, let me see him, Nick. This is fucking guys. Point it this way. Here we go. He's just a dude between two giant tires. Yeah, he doesn't have a vehicle. That's just suspended between two tires.

That does rule. Like he's a man-tractor. It's true and I always think, and like if you're playing Twisted Metal, normally you'd never play as him anyway, but then you do like the melee ones where they auto-generate a bunch. Yes.

And you'd always just see Axl flying around in the background just these two wheels. Twisted Metal, a strong franchise that, that's a drop-off franchise. Kind of disappeared. It is, yeah. They had a few of them. They made, they were making them,

but I guess they've tried to reboot it a few times. Vector, he's- They've never really gotten a- They're, they're, they're sitting to the side with Vector Man and Bonk and all the rest. Aha. Poor Bonk. Wait, what if it was-

You know what? If they ever made- All right, be Bonk. If they ever make a live-action Bonk, I'd be great for it. I got a big-ass head. Nick, he's not paying attention. You've got, I'm sorry, I got sucked into the,

trying to figure out who all the, the Twisted Metal characters were. Haley was paying attention and didn't like it. I at least wanted you to pay attention that I could be the live-action Bonk. So you like your whole, like your, your body would be Bonk's head. And they'd like CG in his little caveman torso.

Is that what you're thinking? I'm fine. Your torso would be his head. And they'd just be in a big face. Look, Google Bonk, he was disproportionate. He had a giant head and a little body. I have no reference on Bonk. So I'm really-

This is bullshit. Look, here's, here's the thing. Bonk has a giant head and a little body. And Mitch has a giant head. And a big body. And a big body. He looks like a garbage pail kid. Yeah.

You need to put my, you're gonna need to put my head on someone on a little body. Look how big that noggin is. You need to put your head on you song's body. That would pretty much make it work. Or if we did like, if we, like, like, like a little look, like if Ethan Trembly played the body and I played the head.

Okay. It's pretty good. Yeah. He can make that work. Who's Ethan Trembly? He's, why, he's the room boy, I believe. Oh, that guy. Oh, Ethan Tremblay.

Jason, Jacob Tremblay. Oh, it's Jacob Tremblay. You're thinking you're conflated with someone else. I think I'm conflating with Ethan Supley. You're conflating it with a Zack Alphanax's character in due date. Is that true? That's what his name is.

How can I forget? That is your favorite movie. You guys can't see this, but he's wearing all due date merch. Fingers crossed, Shelby Kas and the Reboot. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more Doe Boys. Welcome back to Doe Boys. We're here with Haley Mancini and Revisiting Burger King.

Yeah. Haley, do you have any thoughts on BK going in? Okay, my thoughts on BK going in were that I was driving over there and I was like, this is interesting because I've always been, you know how like as a kid, you make up rivalries in your head? Yes. And I know McDonald's and Burger King have had a rivalry,

but like as a child, I think I projected like a hefty personal rivalry, whereas like anytime Burger King would come out with a burger that was kind of similar to McDonald's or whatever, I'd be like, oh my God, they're copying them? Like that's so messed up. Yeah. And so it was weird that I was like, oh yeah, I like really wouldn't go to Burger King almost ever growing up

because I felt that I would be letting down McDonald's, everybody. I really liked McDonald's. Mitch and I still feel that way as adults. Oh yeah, they're going, okay. Well, the fries at McDonald's are the best, man. And that's really what called the shots on fast food in my opinion. So they are the best. They're the best fries.

We haven't reviewed McDonald's, but they're the best fries in the fast food game. We reviewed their breakfast menu. We did. Everyone was thrilled with us. Do I detect sarcasm? I mean, I think people didn't care one way or the other. Well, maybe they were mad. I don't know.

People didn't give a shit. How many more years do we do the show is a big question. We say every, we all, I'm just going to after this year, I think we should either do one, two or three more years for real after this. So you're saying after this year, but I do a huge range of options. We can potentially do the podcast for as long as we've already been doing it. We've done more than three years. You know, that kind of like guesswork did not work out well for Game of Thrones.

I'm just going to tell you guys, I think the listener should vote. Fuck, they're going to vote zero years. No, they're going to vote for it to keep going because I think they are. I think two is maybe right. Maybe three podcast fans are insatiable. They can't get enough of this shit. Stop saying this about them. They're our friends.

You fool. I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying it's like it's people get used to having a voice in your ear and you people just want to hear that want to hear it. It's like they're insatiable. Like Mickey's thirst to drag you to hell. Also, I got to say, yeah, I told you that Joe Saunders is texting me. What my go-to order at Taco Bell is.

Yeah. And you decided to answer this text while we're recording. That's true. I did. Yeah. And also I'm thinking about Joe Saunders and like what will fill him up. So I told him to order a single bean. I don't know.

It might show. Is Joe pregnant? Joe died from overeating last night. Burger King was founded back in 1953. We reviewed it twice before in 2015 with our buddy John Royne in 2017 with our friend Jordan Morrison, a live show. They rolled out the Impossible Whopper nationwide on August 8th of this year and hey, a little bit of trivia down under known as Hungry Jacks in Australia.

Hungry Jacks. We've talked about this before. I know, but it's a nice little bit of trivia. They're the ones that are more associated with a monarchy. I think that's the issue. Oh, they wanted to differentiate. Yeah, the protectorate of their crown. Yeah, I think that's the issue.

That's literally it. I don't know if they're protectorate. It may also be that someone else just owns Burger Kings. So maybe like America was really thumbing their nose at the Brits. I think it kind of was that to some degree. There's a disrespect to the royal family. I think there's also a Burger King that's a different restaurant down there. Oh, that's probably, that may just be it.

It's a copyright issue. That ain't a Whopper. This is a Whopper. How's that, Nick? That's pretty good. Whopper. I like that one. Big Mac.

Big Mac. Your Ricky's become more fucked up. He's become more and more demonic. Coffee. Do you think with this, you know, this scandal, the royal family is cut up with Prince Andrews been flying on Epstein's plane? That's right. Oh, shoot.

Do you think the king was flying on the Lolita Express? The Sneak King? Yeah, the Sneak King. Wait, what's that? The Sneak King. He was pretty sneaky. Man, he very well could. That's why Burger King fell in hard times.

I don't know if Burger King could survive that. Is there anything that he is? He's the Sneak, wait, or is he at a game called Sneak King? Yeah. Where he played, the king played, their mask got the king played. Have you beat Sneak King? If you beat Sneak King, does he sneak onto the whole thing? And he takes off.

Lands in Little Saint James. I don't remember that. I remember the Noid game. Oh yeah, there was a Noid one. Impossible to get past like the first level, so that because they definitely didn't like build the second level. But as we've said before, the cool spot game, a good game. Cool spot game is good.

It's very good. What's that? It was a, it was for Super Nintendo. Yes. Yeah. So they might have made a Genesis version too, but it was just like a, it was a very playable 16-bit licensed game

that was way better than it had any business being. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Yeah, it was great. It was a good game. Good game, good game. Good game, good game. You collected letters.

You collected, I think, Uncola. Is that, are those the letters that you collected? Yes, I believe so. But you spelled it Uncola. Yeah, here's a little screenshot. This is the Genesis version you can kind of see. Oh, it's a 7-up game. Yeah, it's a 7-up game.

That's a 7-up mascot, this little red guy. His voice is almost similar to your Mickey, actually. It was kind of like, it was like. But like, Japan didn't get mad that they took the dot from the flag to go to like the, yeah. That's the, oh yeah. This is cool about that stuff though.

They're better about it. They don't mind the rising sun being reappropriated. Because it's literally, by the way, the exact same dot. Let's just talk. I want to visit Japan. You know what? Know what someone told me? No, they won't let you in.

You know what? Know what I've heard? They have a no-gojira policy. No, okay. Oh, gojira. I have heard that I would maybe get stopped for being a big guy there. Oh yeah, like you're a large man.

How tall are you, Mitch? I'm 6'3 almost, basically. 6'3. I mean like. Still growing. I hate to say between 6'2 and 6'3, but I am like almost 6'3. What does your IMDb say?

With my shoes on, I am definitely 6'3. That's what it says on IMDb. With this shoes on, he's 6'3. But you know what? I don't have my shoes on today, which people on mine give me shit about. Anyways, look, I heard that people would like take pictures with me

because I'm a big guy. God, there's so many Michael Mitchell's on IMDb. Jesus Christ. Michael Mitchell 10, and that's not even you. I'm the one. Which one are you? It's put Mike Mitchell, you fool. Oh, it's Mike Mitchell.

Your credit is Mike Mitchell. That's right. You're Mike Mitchell 29. Does it come up soon though? When you put it in, it comes up first because of because of loving, loving birthday boys. They're both very. 29.

That's amazing. 36. That's a great age. And Nick, go ahead. Tell them what's on my IMDb. Tell them my picture. Your picture is you with a very famous director who you'd be lucky to work with someday.

That's right. Who is it? You can, you can look, but don't say who it is. Why can't I say who it is? Well, I think we have a, we have a running thing where people discover it for themselves. Oh, wow. There you go.

Yeah. Yeah, Mitchy did it. So. He looks nervous. He was very nervous anyway. So you're something of a Burger King skeptic going in. Yeah. Oh, wait.

Hold on. Yes. What? She holds, Hailey holds a podcast about Godzilla. Yeah, the Godzilla podcast. You should try and steer it to there. No, please. You could ask her about what would Godzilla's order be

at some place or something. I don't fucking know. I don't know what that has to do with Burger King, but yes. What's Godzilla's BK order? I don't fucking know. The whole thing. Yeah. That's true.

He did all that. I'm trying to think of some Godzilla crossovers and there was a Godzilla crossover with a 97 movie? What? Taco Bell. Yes. The talk about Betsy came on the podcast. By the way, our podcast is,

is Godzilla versus podcast zero. And, and we review, we watch Godzilla movies or properties or read somebody like we read comics and stuff. And then we, we talk about them. And some of them are just great movies. Some of them are silly. Mitch came on for Son of Godzilla. Which I liked and it was very fun.

It's a silly one, but it is. It was a lot of fun. Well, I don't know. And here's the thing. If you feel that I'm after Mitch a little bit on this podcast, it's because Mitch wouldn't let me enjoy my hunk of the movie on Son of Godzilla. I kept saying, I said, this guy's a hunk.

And Mitch was like, no, he's not. Oh, wow. Hold on. The Son of Godzilla does not look like a hunk. And I look too much like him. No, I'm not saying the Son of Godzilla is a hunk. There was a guy and you were like, that guy is a useless piece of crap.

And I was like, holy hell. I think I'm just remembering that I thought I looked like Son of Godzilla. Yeah. You kept comparing yourself to Son of Godzilla. Godzilla. Yeah. I don't like the hunk. No, you don't look like Son of Godzilla, Mitch.

You don't look like Son of Godzilla, but you're a lot closer to him than you are to Bunk. You know, you could play a seven up spot. Actually, you kind of look like the Burger King King. You could be the Burger King King. I don't want to be the Burger King King. What do you want to be? I don't know.

Okay. You're whatever you want to be. Mitch, I don't like that you diss on yourself as much as you do. This is an intervention. Weiger likes it and adds to it. Oh, fuck Weiger. I'm being, I'm being, I'm getting too distracted here. I was looking up twisted metal characters

and now I'm trying to find the Son of Godzilla hunk. You have no idea what fucking Google search to do. You, you miss shit because I'm, I'm texting them. I know I'm sorry. I shouldn't be, I'm going to close this tab. I'm going to look up this hunk on my own time later. Yeah. I choose a hunk of the movie on there.

I choose, I choose a guy that I like, because there's always like a babe. And then I'm like, there's my babe of the movie and he's usually the hero, but sometimes he's just a side guy. These movies are always like PG, PG-13, right? Or do we go like hard R? No, there's no, I mean, there is one where Mothra and Godzilla finally get together.

Boy, you know, that was definitely hard R. Right. Geter comes in and says, fuck. So, uh, no, I think they're all like PG, PG-13. Got it. The American one was a disaster. I encourage you, that is a good one to listen to actually, because the story of how it became such a disaster

is really interesting. So if you're going to listen to one, listen to that one. That one isn't a hard R, the, the 99, 1997. No, no, no, it's like PG or 13 or something. There is a weird moment where Godzilla catches his balls on the top of the Empire State Building. His eyes cross. His eyes cross.

He makes out to his knees. Yowzy. He says Yowzy. He says Yowzy, which also caught on after that. Yowzer was, was trademarks. I do remember there was a Yowzer kid at our school and that was kind of like his, he was Ace Ventura for a bit.

And then he became the Yowzer guy. So he said, yeah. Until a different kid came to school and started saying Yowzer. And then I was like, oh, I got a rebrand. I got to be Austin Powers now. I thought you were being serious. That there really was a Yowzer kid.

So, so you're, you're, you're not a, you're not a Burger King super fan going in. Neither are Mitch and I. No, that's not true. Okay. I was, I'm sorry. You're, you are, I said super fan, which is hyperbolic. You're, you don't consider yourself a Burger King super fan. Girl, girl, I loved Burger King.

Me and the boys would hang out at a. Whoa. Me and the boys would hang down at Burger King. You song's laughing at me. Amazon's the boys? The Amazon's the boys. Wow. You in, you in a home stander? Homelander.

Homelander. I like, you know what? I liked the boys. People like the boys. People say that I'm too mean to movies or in TV shows. I liked the boys. Okay. And Nick also the deep, there's a calendar of the deep and there's an outline of his hog and it's a big hog.

And I know, I'm just, why am I mad? I'm not going to Google something else. You can Google it. No, I'm taking my hands off the keyboard. Like there was a big Twitter thing the other day. I think it was intentional. Anyways, I'm imagining like a gritty song like Jack Diane over you and your boys enjoying burgers on the back of the car.

It is. It's about Mitch and his friends. That's kind of how it was. It was a great time. We'd hang out at that. We'd hang out at the bank parking lot nearby the 711 and the Burger King lot of fun. That's where money comes from.

Oh, we were up to no good in that parking lot. We were drinking that parking lot. Wow. Then we go over to Burger King and eat and then fall asleep. Did you take me by that Burger King when we were in Quincy? Of course. I'm trying to remember. We stopped at the 711 next door to it.

Oh, that's what it was. Okay. I remember the 711. Yeah. Quincy. I'm from Quincy. You know this. That was a good 711.

I did know that. Yeah. I just forgot that. Yeah. Oh, Quincy. Quincy's nice. I like Quincy. Quincy was in this.

It's very like, it's very Boston and Quincy. It's very the town. But we also too, we were in that 711 and the guy that the teller was a goth. Yeah. And he was talking about goth parties. Specifically saying goth parties. Yeah. Specifically saying the word goth parties.

I was like, oh, that's interesting. I guess it's a subculture that exists everywhere. But so you like Burger King. I'm a Burger King skeptic. I gave it like, I think one fork on our last review because it was, they really disappointed me. Haley, I was something of a skeptic. We went in and we got the impossible whopper.

This is a, I'll read the description. Flame grilled patty made from plants. Topped with tomatoes, lettuce, mayonnaise, ketchup, pickles, and sliced white onions on a sesame seed bun. One thing that everyone should know out there, especially if you're a vegetarian, it is cooked on the same grill as the meat unless you request otherwise. So if you're worried about that from a vegetarian standpoint,

just know that going in. Whoa, that's important. But we had, Haley, you and I have the same cheese complication. Oh boy. Yes, we did. You're not alone. This happened to you too. Well, I don't know what the complication was.

I thought it was just an insult, but you can explain what happened. Well, I ordered, so I went with Natalie. I went to the subculture location in West LA, which is a nice Burger King. I used to work right by there. And I wanted to give it a fighting chance. I went to a good Burger King and she got hers without cheese. I got mine with cheese and the receipt said heavy cheese.

Two slices of cheese. Yes. Okay. And this also happened to you. So I did it at the drive-thru. And I said, yeah, I want the impossible burger. And he said, do you want cheese? I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, put that cheese on there.

And then it came on the screen as two pieces of cheese, heavy cheese all in caps. And I was like, listen guys, I love cheese, but I don't want it to overpower my burger. So I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait. I want heavy cheese. I just want cheese. And then he said, heavy cheese.

And I said, no, I want regular cheese. I just want cheese. And he goes, so no cheese. And I was like, no. Wow. And then he goes, no, we do, it just comes up as, so he had to lay it out for me because I was being such a fucking idiot in this line.

He is like, no, heavy cheese. Cars are honking at you at this point, right? Yeah, there's cars honking. There are people, people ahead of me are mad that I'm running up. They're getting out, throwing their burgers at me. So he's like, yeah, it's heavy cheese. That's just how it comes up. It's just, if you want cheese, that's how it comes up.

And I was like, oh, okay. So I got it. I was a little flustered when I got up to the window. I was flustered too because I got that and it says, one heavy cheese, two slices. I took a picture of the receipt. And they charge you an extra dollar. So I just, I don't know what's going on there.

It's weird. Did this happen to you, Mitch? I saw my receipt. It said heavy cheese on it. And I was like, this guy like calling me like the heavy guy wants some cheese or something. That's what I thought it was. And then that's the name you wrote on the receipt.

Yeah, like heavy cheese. And then I, and then I investigated a little bit more. It said two slices of cheese on, on the receipt. And I was like, hell of a fucking, yeah, that's rules. Give me the heavy cheese. Mitch, I think you are heavy cheese. It's a good nickname for you. You are, you are a Godfather.

I'm just the heavy cheese. I'm the artist formerly known as spoon. I'm not the heavy cheese. It's like heavy D, but heavy cheese. Yeah, I know what it's like. To me, heavy cheese feels like a boss. I know, it's like the heavy cheese. Yeah, heavy cheese.

I personally would have liked to be called a heavy cheese. You're like cheese then, Weigher. I'll happily be light cheese. And I'm heavy cheese. All right, heavy cheese and light cheese. You're extra cheese. Yeah, you're extra cheese. I'm extra cheese.

Great, cool. I'm in. Light cheese, you little fucking light cheese, bitch. I'll happily be light cheese. Of course you will. Just the right amount of cheese. I'm the perfect, the heavy cheese. Lay it on there, stick.

Light cheese and heavy cheese, guys. That's a show. It would show how awful this town is if we, we couldn't sell a Doughboy show, but we can sell light cheese and heavy cheese. Right. A cartoon show. Of course, Gumb2.

So we got, we got through this. Did that really happen, you guys? It's true. It's true. It's absolutely true. I don't really know if the name was Forrest Gump2. That was a lie, but uh.

It's still Gumpin'. Still, you might have been right with your guess, but it really truly, there was a sequel. Gump and Company. Gump and Company. By Winston Groom. That's the fucking weird ass author who wrote it. Holy shit.

He wrote Forrest Gump in 1986. The movie came out in 1994. And then in 1995, he turned it around quick. A cheap cash-in. Oh. And he threw in a bunch of more. This one's a thriller. Topical stuff.

Yeah. It's me, Winston Groom. Here you go. Publish my book, please. Thank you. That's my impression of Winston Groom. It's pretty much what he sounds like, I assume. I think that's right.

Yeah. What the, so wait. Hold on, he sells encyclopedias door-to-door. What? That sucks already. He comes up with New Coke. What? So it's all product-based?

Yes. He, what the fuck? Is this hard to skim quick? Jenny comes back. She's a bionic, Jenny. He makes, he creates, he creates Magnum Condoms. He meets Ayatollah Khomeini in Iran. And let's see, he.

Causes 9-11. Too early for 9-11. But if he, if he, if he caused 9-11 in 1995. Oh, right, it was 9-11. He does, he is involved in the Whitewater scandal. And it looks like he goes to, he also goes to the fights in the Iraq War and the Persian Gulf War. Okay.

Anyway, that nonsense out of the way. So the Impossible Whopper, I thought, I'm just, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna bury the lead. The Impossible Whopper is fucking great. It was so good, you guys. It was so good. And the cheese was great, but I guess they don't offer the cheese first because if you're like vegan, for example,

and you're already super vegetarian, just vegan. If you need them to wipe down the stove, they don't want to start with the cheese, right? Yeah. I think it doesn't come with cheese by default, but, but you added in, I think it, it does help if you are a vegetarian, not a vegan. I got three words for you.

Yes. Is this three words? BK is back. You know, BK is back. This is a thing. And I, and I. BK counts as one word. I reach, I retweeted our, our buddy, murder Brian.

Uh, from, from street fright radio. Okay. And murder Brian had a take that was talk, was basically advancing this very theory that Burger King is back. Get ready for a comeback story, folks. I'm, I'm paraphrasing it. I agree.

Actually, I do agree. I agree with you. And I, I always look at Mitch with a little bit of skepticism right because he's, he's conned me so many times. I use a grifter. He'll grift. Never grifted a day in my life. You're grifting right now.

When I first met him and he lived out of a spindle, but he's got this nice apartment now. That was just my snack pack. It was a lunchable. Stabbed onto a stick. But yeah, I thought it was really, I, I really thought, like, and for a while I've been, since I've said, I'm a McDonald's fan, I was like,

why will they not use one of these meat alternatives so that I can eat there more? Because like I said, I'm a weekday vegetarian. And so if I'm going to eat meat, I want to make sure, like at that point, you know, if I'm having it on the weekend, I'm like, I want to have a steak. I want to have like something good. So I've been waiting for McDonald's to do it.

And then Burger King did it. And they did it fucking really well. They deserve credit for being the first, I think, like huge chain. Other chains have done it, but the first huge, like nationwide chain to offer impossible meat. And it's a, it's a really good execution. It's, it's as good as the whopper.

And the whopper is a very solid sandwich. I got, so I tried Monty's Good Burger. This is a local place in LA. It was on Western, all vegan, all vegan, all plant-based, all plant-based. It's, it's very impressive. You should try it. It's not good.

I'd like to try it. Um, it's expensive as shit, but it's really good. Yeah. It also like has vegan cheese in the, the cheese works really well. And the cheese is good. And the cheese is good. They have like big milkshakes there

that are vegan milkshakes. It's crazy. So would you say my point of reference was Shake Shack. It feels like it's kind of like using Shake Shack as a baseline. Is that what we would do? And it's on Western? It's on Western.

That was one of the most impressive vegetarian or vegan meals. I mean, it was one of the most impressive vegan meals I've ever had. Yes. It's legitimately delicious. It's, it's really good. Yeah.

You got to try it. Oh, I really got to go. That'd be great. But I got to say this. What? The impossible whopper, best vegetarian option on all of fast food. Whoa.

Wow. It was better. But I mean, I mean, that was delicious. Well, Monty's, I'm not counting Monty's because it's not. It's a standalone place. I'm just saying fast one. All right. This is, oh, you're right.

You mean among chains. I'm on chain. What is better than that? And I'm not talking about like, I'm not talking, I'm not talking like subbing beans in at sure Taco Bell or something. I'm saying like, this is like the best. It's what is better than I won't go that far because I do

like the, I do like some actual vegetarian items, but I will say that I as far as like a fake meat, as far as, as far as a meat substitute, then yes, I think this is, there's, there's absolutely case to make the impossible whopper is it right now. It's fucking great. Absolutely. It really is great.

I wonder how it is with that. Like if, because look, there's a couple of the, if you're vegan or something, like you are, or I don't know, I don't know if you're going to get mayo or the cheese or whatever. Yeah. You probably avoid the mayo, but the, with the cheese on it, like if you gave me that, that burger, if this is, by the way, I said, I don't know if you're vegan,

if you're not going to get dairy and eggs, like two things that vegans don't get. Okay. Fine. Yeah. I know you're not going to get them. Okay. But if you gave me this burger and you, you, and I had no idea

it was a, it was an impossible patty. I don't, I don't know if I would know. I really don't know if you, it's a little bit of a trick. Yeah. If you didn't tell me anything, if you're just like, here's a whopper with cheese and you gave it to me and I ate it. I don't know if I would be able to tell.

And then you're like, you fool. That's an impossible whopper. You didn't eat meat at all. And then I flip out like that. Chris Farley sketch. Chris Farley sketch. Oh my God. I think, I think, I think it really would.

I think it would trick me. I definitely would trick me. Yes. And I will say, I also just for full disclosure, I said, hold the pickles. I don't like pickles. Everybody. That's fine.

I don't like pickles. Have it your way. That's Burger King's whole thing. That's all they hold the pickles. All the lettuce, right? Yes. Whatever you want to do, whatever mods you want to make, you're welcome to do it on, on the whopper.

That's their thing. That was, there's, I do remember that song, but it was a very creepy flashback to that song. Oh no. Oh, there it is. No, no, no. It wasn't a Mickey related. Burger King to me.

Look, I used to really, really like that, that Burger King Quincy and meant a lot to me. Right. Sure. I, I now, I have this to say, I got to have another statement to say. Okay. And if you disagree with me, I want to hear what you think.

Burger King, most location dependent restaurant in all of fast food. Again, there's a case to be made. There is a lot of variance in individual Burger Kings. For sure. I went, I went to the one in Glendale and it was like, walking into the past. I felt nostalgia when I was walking in the door.

There was people from all walks of life in there, getting their lunch. There was a guy who was there from work, a group of friends who were putting nuggets on the tray. It was, it was weird. It was, and it was also pristine. It was a very, very, very nice Burger King. Yeah.

We had different experiences. I both, because well, there's, there's one down on sunset. That's the one I went to. It was like, it's like meth heads blocking like the drive through lane. I'm like, it's a gnarly Burger King. It's, it's, it's, it's a tough area.

It's not, it's not a good. It looked clean inside though. It's not a great, it's, that's not a great. And then there's another one on sunset. That's not great. This one was like, it's up in Glendale. It was pristine. I, it truly felt like stepping back in time.

It was weird. The fries were great. Nick, my fries were great. Oh, my fries sucked. Yeah. My fries ruled. I didn't get fries because I don't like BK's fries. I think they, I think they maybe,

I think they maybe worked their fries back. Should I have tried the fries? At your fries? No, mine were bad. Mine were bad. I trust Haley. I think the fries are at the same level. Well, there was no,

like there used to be breading on the fries. When they changed their fries, there was no breading on these fries. There was breading. Yeah. When they changed the fries, the fries were different fries. The Glendale fries were good.

You're going to go up and try them. You have to make a trip up to Glendale to go to Burger King. You got to go to a nice Burger King and try the fries. I got a nice Burger King on my side of town. Then you got to try the fries. I'll try the fries because you know what? I am going to go back because I mentioned, I went with my lovely wife Natalie and what did she say?

She is a Burger King skeptic. I texted this to you and our buddy Evan Susser. She detests Burger King on a level path that surpasses me. And she said, She likes it less than you? She likes it less than she likes me. Oh, wow. And that's a low bar.

This is bad. I know. She said that was the best meal I have had from Burger King in 10 years. Wow. And we both had both the impossible whopper. We also got the crispy taco, which is not vegetarian. That's filled with... I also got the crispy taco as well.

Yeah. We got the crispy taco and a Twix shake we shared. And so those three menu items we each had, and they were all out of the park. I mean, the possible whopper is the star, but the Twix shake was also great. That sounds amazing. It was really good.

It was like Burger... It was like a Dairy Queen caliber. Like it was like a blizzard. Nick, I was a big fan of the... You told me your order. So I also got the taco. Yeah. And I ordered the Twix shake.

It was out. They didn't have the Twix shake anymore. Oh. I was a big fan of the apple pie in Burger King back in the day. And they used to have this little warm slice of apple pie. I loved it. I loved it when I was hanging down there with the boys. We'd sometimes get an apple pie.

Who's the guy with the big dick again so I can Google it later? Jesus. I'm not going to say his name on the air. No, I didn't mean your friend. I meant the guy from the boys. Amazon's the boys. The deep... You can add it out your friend's name.

Bleep on... In there too. If you had a really big dick, wouldn't you want to? Also, now everyone knows that you told me the name of your friend. From whence you asked me who it was. You asked me who it was. And then also P.S. you didn't stop talking about it for like three days. I was hanging out and how big is it?

He's got a fucking pipe. Really? Wait, how big is it? We were hanging out with a... I brought it up to Raimondi and Micas and they were just telling me hog stories about this guy. This guy's got a fabled hog. Wait, so is there... Okay, I'd like to take this opportunity.

If you can think of the reverse stories of those, those are stories about me. People talking about... Now, I want to know, I want to take this opportunity to ask, do guys always like groups of friends, they get to a point where they're like, let's look at each other as dicks. No, I don't think that's particularly common. I think it happens. I think in groups, maybe you're in locker rooms or something.

I think there's situations when you might see each other as me. Yelling at the Lakers. Yeah, you're yelling at the Lakers. You get flustered, you whip it out. One of my best friends, Justin, we showed each other our penises when we were in nursery school. And his mom came in and was like, what are you guys doing? And she caught us doing it.

And I remember saying to him, yours is bigger than mine. Truly an early memory. Yeah, so sometimes this stuff does happen. Okay, so it does. It does. Okay, this is, thank you. I just wanted to know, I've always kind of wanted to know, because girls are like, girls are like, I guess you kind of show your boobs.

I've heard that show. Yeah, look at my boobs. Because they grow in on even at first, something like that. And everyone's like, what the hell's going on? So girls are like, let's just corroborate. Let's make sure that we've got like a good average here. Yeah, unfortunately, I had no one to show my boobs to. And they definitely came in on even.

But it doesn't matter because BK is back. That's part of why I have boobs. I got a soft track. I'm sorry. We got the tacos. The crispy tacos. I thought the taco here, it's an Anglo taco. If you're going in expecting anything approaching an authentic taco,

or even just like a good crunchy taco, like as you know it, it's not that. It's a taco-like menu item that I happen to enjoy. I happen to enjoy too. I told Chankton went and he got one. And I compared it to the Jack in the Box tacos, which you love. It's like the Jack in the Box tacos, which I love. And I prefer those, but I know that this one, which is twice the price, is definitely a higher quality.

It looks so good about the Jack in the Box tacos. It's fucking gross. People talk about it. It's great that it's gross. It's like, it's so soggy and so it's like, it's like super soggy on the inside because they basically deep fry the shell with the fixings inside. But it's crispy on the outside.

It kind of lackers shut. It's got American cheese in it, which tacos never had, which is again, it's fucking gross. It's a disgusting choice, but it's great. And I think, but I think the thing is, I just got it. That was like my favorite thing to eat as a kid. So now it's just like a little bite of childhood. Okay, got it.

I also liked them and I didn't have them. I started having them in 2005 and I still think they're good. Yeah, maybe they're just good. I think people love them. Yeah. Here's the thing is that they are like a guilty weird pleasure and they can be very good, especially if they're hot, like if they're fresh and they were just fried.

Right. My thought though is that I think you're right. The Burger King tacos are a better quality and those are still like, if you had one, you'd still be like, these are pretty bad, but they're like, they're good in the bad, in that bad way. Right. They come, I got, did you get a package of the jalapeno hot sauce,

the salsa del so? Yes, I did. Yeah. And it was good. It was pretty good hot sauce. Yeah. Not particularly spicy, but it's okay. I'm something of a heat seeker.

I know. But it was, it was, it was okay. So I also got a diet cherry coke because they have the diet cherry coke. They have the coke freestyle machines, which I got to say, my only complaint about this Burger King, which was pristine and was great, and it being out, the Twix shake being out, they said it was gone, fun me out.

And then also the, the, the freestyle coke machine didn't have a lot of, a lot of options were gone. Wait, did you ask about an apple pie though? So I used to get apple pies back in the day and I used to love them. They used to heat them up. I was telling them everything about the boys and so on. And then they said, well, we don't have the Twix shake, but we got a Twix pie, a pie made with Twix and Nick, I got it.

Yeah. And it fucking ruled. It does sound good. That sounds good. It was like a mud pie with like Twix. It was like a Twixie mud pie. It fucking ruled. Oh, that sounds so good.

It was one of the best fast food desserts I'd, I'd had. I've ever had. Is Twix a top tier mix in? Is Twix made to mix? Twix is made to mix. And also here's a fun thing. Yeah. On both sides where you could open up the pie,

on the left side, it was like, you're a left Twix guy. Oh, that's cute. I'm the right one. It was the right Twix guy. Everyone can enjoy that. I like that. I open them both because I had to to open the fucking pie box. I'm just imagining.

I just ripped it open. I really want, I want it to be true that you walked in there and went, wow, you know what? This place reminds me of me and the boys. I got to being like, yes, sir. It did remind me of me and the boys. Got to have a pie, sir. You got a meal.

We don't, we don't. A meal that I love, a big meal that I loved, a whopper, a whopper with cheese, updated impossible whopper, knocked it out of the park. Nice cola, some fries, a taco, also new. And then the, the, the, the nice dessert, it was a little sweet treat. Yeah, a little sweet treat. And I, I took a bite of that Twix pie and I was like, look,

I'm, I lost weight and I'm fucking, fucking up again. But I would, I tried. You look great. Thank you, Kelly. I, but I started, I, I started in fucking Uyghur and I started, I started taking bites. Fine. You look like shit. All right, good.

Fucking monster. There we go. Thank you. I started taking bites of that Twix pie and I ate the whole fucking thing, Nick. I ate the whole thing and I, I don't regret it. It was so damn good. If you got a chance to get one, if you got a chance to get one, have a little cheat day with it, with an impossible whopper and a Twix pie at

your nice Burger King. We had a similar. Don't go to mine. Yeah. Go to, go to a good one. We had a similar issue with a Twix shake and we just kept sipping that sum bitch until it was all gone. We're like, God, we're like mad at ourselves, but it was so fucking good.

That sounds delicious. Haley, wait, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's talk about your other menu items beyond the impossible whopper. You got your, you're disappointed with the fries. What else did you get the order? I just got the fries and a, and a Diet Coke because I just, I just went for, went for the full meal. Solid Diet Coke.

Uh, it was solid Diet Coke. It was a good Diet Coke. Actually, I have to say it was a good, good Diet Coke. The fries were trash. They were really bad. Were they cold? No, they just sucked. I, I, no, I, I'm with, I mean, they usually do.

Yeah, they're like, no, they were hot. They were piping hot. They were a little too thick. They were very crispy. I like a couple of soggy ones in the mix. Those are my fries. Mine kind of looked like that too. Oh, okay.

But they, there wasn't enough salt on them. And, um, yeah, I don't know. I just, I really didn't feel that they stuck, especially compared to the, the terrific impossible burger that it was countering and needed to, you know, come in with vigor. Right. I got you. Yeah.

So it was, I mean, now, did I eat them all? Yes. Of course. I ate every single one of them. Of course. Yeah. But I love fries. So I want them to be like, I love fries.

They're not going to beat, they're not going to beat McDonald's fries. That's number one. But what place will? No, no place will. But if, if, if Burger King goes back to their old fries, it's a step up. They just need to get their fries to a level that's adequate. And right now I feel like they're not bad. I've always told you that the Whopper, I think is a good burger.

I think it's a quality burger. If it's done well. I've never disagreed with you. 630, there's 630 calories in the impossible Whopper. I just found out. It's not bad. I mean, it's a, it's a fucking heavy meal. Only, only 30 less than the regular Whopper's calorie count.

Yeah. Yeah. The, the nutritionally, it's very similar. I think they've actually, that's part of how they've engineered the impossible meat to make it. So I will say, I'm still full. Sorry to interrupt. No, no, no. But I will say I'm still full. Still full.

I had a, I had a, at lunch. Oh, wow. And I mean, I am a small person, but I do eat a lot. I consider that I usually eat two breakfasts. And I was like, this is very hobbity too. Yeah, I know. I am kind of a hobbit. I just eat a whole lot and I live in a whole.

I was in a, in a hill of sod. But the, and my feet are not hairy though. I have the feet of an elf. Those are the feet you want though. That's right. Oh, by the way. That's why I'm in Quentin Tarantino's next film, everybody. By the way, don't, don't, don't, don't tell our listeners.

Get ready to be contacted. Oh boy, yeah. All right. I'm in. I'm excited. I'm on the market, everybody. I think Quentin Tarantino did that intentionally. What? Of course he did.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. I think he was like, there it is. Yeah, I like it. What's the big deal? I think that's what he's trying to do. Yes, you think he got all the way through that when we was watching it and went, holy shit,

it went overboard. Oh boy, yeah. I didn't realize they were in all these shots. Is it really that bad, the feet? People give him so much shit about the feet. I think the feet, I think, I think he knew what he was doing. I think here, here's the feet. We don't need to king shame.

Yeah. People can be in the feet. It's fine. It's a passion and a creep about it. Yeah, exactly. As long as you're not a creep about it, you could, you know, let your freak flag fly. I noticed in the movie that the,

and I think it means something. I'm not going to tell my whole spiel, but Sharon Tate's feet are dirty and all the hippies' feet are clean. Boy, look for that. Look for it. Check it out. Look for it.

Look for it. Watch it. Mitch made a super cut. I don't go through and select feet shots. You guys don't know about Mitch's YouTube channel about conspiracy theories for a movie. All feet related. All feet related.

So specific. Yeah, but good, good burger guys. That was great. And that's what this is really all about. So let's get to our final thoughts here. So we'll each go around. We'll give a summation of our. It really is what it's all about.

It is. And what we're talking about Burger King and their impossible burger. And that's, that's the, if you'll pardon the pun, the meat of this discussion. Well, it doesn't even make sense. All right. There's no meat in the burger.

All right. Here we go. So let's all go around. He's employing irony. All right. All right. Five, five, five, five, five. We'll give our, we'll give our closing argument

and give this a four grade. It's fine. Let's just get this done. For one to five forks. Hailey, you're our guest. We'll begin with you. I'll give it four out of five forks. Wow.

Straight to four forks. Wow. Four forks. But I'm, yeah, it was a real good burger. Yeah. It was really fucking good, especially fast food. I mean, come on. That's a great score.

Great job, Burger King. It's a great score. Look, I 100% agree with you. I think the Whopper is like a four and a half, almost a five forker sandwich itself. When it's done well, the impossible. Well, you're kind of how I'm there. I can't go with you there.

Well, the Big Mac is a five forker. Yeah. But a five whopper, five forks. Well, it also has a nostalgic value. Four and a half forks. The Whopper is very good when it's done well. I feel like a great Whopper is like four forks. Wow.

When you're eating it with friends. Yeah, when you're with the boys. You and Micas and Raimondi sitting there. An old big dick. Hey, we should have known the guy with the big dick was our guy we nicknamed Big Dick. And on the nose in hindsight. You wouldn't be able to hang with me and the boys.

I've hung with you and the boys. I get very tired, but I hang in there as much as I can. Quincy goes hard. Quincy does go hard. You know, it's a problem. I would definitely give the impossible Whopper four forks. Wow.

Wow. Like I said before, I think that Burger Kings are extremely location dependent. True. And I think BK might be coming back. I think BK is kind of back in maybe some ways. I want BK to be good. It's a nice, it would be nice to have a good BK.

I think that they need to figure out what their deal is with some of these awful locations. There needs to be general, like a general, a better general quality control over these restaurants. They need a clean house. They need a clean house. Cause cause if you're, if you're serving up Whoppers, like you do up in Glendale, then America,

then I understand America loving the restaurant. But if it's like it is down on Sunset, then it's not good. Right. It's just, I mean, it's, I'm not going to go there to get a meal. It's just not good. Although it does speak well to the rollout of the impossible Whopper nationwide,

which is very ambitious that even at a subpar location, it seems to have a good experience. I was really good. I mean, it looked clean on the inside too. Like to reiterate, it was just on the outside. For sure. In the drive through lane, there was a couple of people that were working out some stuff.

It's a tough area for sure. I, how do I rank BK though as a whole? I don't know. I mean, it's, I don't think it's in the, I don't think it's getting four forks, but I think that it's moved up quite a bit after this experience. I'm going to go because, and I used to love it.

And back in the day, I would give Burger King in the four to five fork range for real. Right. For the memories. There were a lot of good memories there. I went there the first time after I got high, Nick. Oh, I was fucking freaking out. Oh, bad trip, man.

Someone was telling me my future. I'm going to host a podcast with a fucking Lamo. I'm not waiting. That'll never happen, man. I'm going to go three and a half forks. Three and a half forks. Yeah. I think, I think, I think, I think that I think

if they can keep, I mean, I think this is a great, I think what they're doing is a great idea. I think you should get cheese on the whopper. You got to get the heavy cheese. If you eat cheese, get cheese. You got to get cheese on there. I think I, I think. I think, I think it does.

I would help a lot. I'd be interested in trying it without the cheese and see how it, and maybe just doing like the vegan, with that without the, man, but if you take the mayo away, trying like the vegan version in quotes. I would sub. It would be very interesting. I think you could sub mustard for the mayo

and give yourself a little bit of a flavor that way. Isn't there's, there's ketchup on the whopper already, right? Is there mustard already? Yeah. There's not mustard by default, but you can add some. And also if they are doing a vegetarian option like this and it's successful, I think you can expect to see vegan cheese options that are good.

Right. Vegan mayo, like eventually. Yeah. And this is the, they can't switch it all over because that'd be crazy, but they can see how well it does. And then it's a nice good start for people who are trying to consume less meat for people who are vegetarians. I think, I think it's, I think it's a good thing.

I think it's a good quality thing. I had a great, great, great experience at the Glendale Burger King. It was, it was, it was, it was very nostalgic for me. Three and a half forks. Three and a half forks. And I can't give Burger King four for forks yet. I don't, I don't think anyone would expect. Yes.

We're not there yet. We're not there yet. I agree with you, Mitch. It's, it's not at four forks yet, but. Damn, but that Twix pie too. Fuck. The Twix, the Twix desserts were good. Yeah.

You know, is Burger King back? When reached for comment, the King said, Yeah, I'm thinking I'm back. Burger King is back. Dear God, that scared me more than anything I've ever seen in my life. I am going to agree with my buddy, Mitch, because I think the Impossible Whopper is a home run. Your eyes turned black.

He became very animated. His eyes went black. When he said he agreed with you. No, when he did his, his, yeah, I'm back, his whole bit. It's terrifying. Like, like Mickey's eyes. Light of your nightlight. Illuminating his menacing face.

I don't know where that doll is. Impossible Whopper is fucking great. And kudos to them for, for just doing it at this point. You know, there is a bit of a price premium. And if you're on a budget, if you're a value conscious consumer, it's more expensive than the Whopper, which is going to hopefully over time, the, the false meat will start to be at price parity with the actual meat.

But right now, if you are a value conscious consumer, I understand, you know, certainly that, that there's, that's a thing that you can't ignore the fact that it costs more. But for $6.99, it's a very good fast vegetarian fast food burger. It's actually better than veggie. Very good. It's excellent. Crispy taco. I'm not sure how fairly I evaluated it because I think, you know,

the, in the haze after eating that delicious impossible Whopper, I might have been a little bit more charitable, but I do think it was a good execution of that style of Jack in the box taco. The Twix shake was great. I think they need to get their fries in order. But I'm with my friend, Mitch, three and a half forks. Whoa. We're in the hand holding club.

Hey, it might, it could get in the golden part play club at some point. It could. What a, what a, what an interesting journey it would be if Burger King ended up in the golden play club. Wow. What a turnaround. What a turnaround. BK is back. Well, it's really cool that they did. I mean, like without the, all the meat waste that's caused.

Right. And the fact the Amazon rainforest is on fire would be good. Yeah. That story kind of got buried. Yeah. I was like, oh, so I supported all the way across the board. I truly can't even, it gets me too depressed to even, I mean, I just, it makes me very sad. Yeah. We live in hell. Yeah.

Anyways, the end times are approaching. Hey, we're Mickey lives too. That was our review of Burger King. It's time for a segment when fast food news breaks, the dough boys are on the case. This is breaking chews. Breaking chews. That's the song.

Breaking chews. That's the song. Yeah. So little John Williams as we set this up, the NBC nightly news thing. Did he really do that? It's a John Williams song. Of course. Yeah. That's what you,

It's so noble. It's what you'd hear just before a Brian Williams would appear on your TV and lie to you. Lie to you. Lie to his teeth. So here's what we have. You song, our intrepid producer was wonderful enough to scout these out for us. Krispy Kreme has limited edition Reese's Donuts. Reese's original filled chocolate lovers and Reese's original filled peanut butter lovers.

There is a chocolate. So both are chocolate donuts. One is filled with peanut butter cream. One is filled with chocolate peanut butter cream and dipped in. It's so complicated because they both have fucking, they both have chocolate and peanut butter. It's just confusing. I don't think these are filled at all, by the way.

They're heavy. They're not filled. I can't tell. Mine's definitely filled. There's some white goo in here. Yeah, mine's filled. Oh God. It's very peanut buttery.

Oh God. It's super duper sweet. Like it's literally heavy to hold. It's very heavy. You song, did you grab any picks of these bad boys? I'll grab one right now. So yeah, basically there's a, I mean it's hard to describe in terms of what the differences are,

but visually there's one that's got a chocolate glaze and one that's got a peanut butter glaze. They're pretty easy to identify on site. And I bit into the one, the chocolate one, which has this, this, this jizzy white cream inside that's very, very peanut buttery. It's supposed to be peanut butter cream? I think so, but it doesn't, I don't, they didn't do a peanut butter food coloring, at least on mine. The chocolate one I bit into did not seem filled with anything.

And then this one is overly filled with this jizz. It's filled with jizz. Wait, does the other one, no, that's filled. Did you just have to bite further? Well, you bet, you ate like half of it, so that's weird. Yeah, your filling was not evenly distributed. I'm going to bite into the other one now, the peanut butter one.

I think it was just dry, but um, man, it feels like fucking Mr. Peanut dropped a load in this fucking donut. Ma'am. I can't tell which, you know what, I thought, I thought I knew which was which and now I'm not sure. He seems like such a regal man. He does. He is a monocle on a top mat.

Yeah, jerking off in a donut. It's the same color as the donut. So you can't really see it. You're right. Yeah. That's the kind of freak though, that would be at Epstein's Private Island. Oh, for sure. Mr. Peanut was on a loading express for sure.

He's on, he's in that little black book, next to David Blaine, Tony Blair. Mr. Peanut ordered the hit. Mr. Peanut did order the hit. It's weird in the autopsy, it says that he was strangled with a cane. He kind of, he points a finger at a certain suspect. I think the, boy, I don't know, I gotta take some more bites of these. I finished almost both of them, I'm so hungry. We gotta start eating dinner before recording these.

This is a bad idea. I can't get, this is very rich, but see, here's the thing. I'm also, I'm not a sweet tooth, I like savory. So this is a little tough for me. You son, did you have one yet? I just had that glaze, the normal one. Well now we're forcing you to have another one. Okay.

Get ready, you son, it's very intense. Take your pick. These are, I've had half of each of these donuts. I think you picked the right one. Actually, you know what, I think you picked the wrong one, you son. I think that, that one's my favorite. I think, yeah, I think the one with the, because the one with the, the chocolate one, I thought I knew which was which.

The chocolate one that has the Reese's Peanut Butter Cream in it, that's the chocolate lovers. Yeah. That one I think is, is super duper sweet. It's so like, it's like saccharine. And the other one is, you son is so upset. You son looks so defeated. It's like, coinly sweet. It's way too sweet, way too sweet.

Wait, can I try a bite of your other one? Yes, go for it. I only got the chocolate one. You didn't get that one? I just, it was too much, I don't know. No, we did not give it to her. Oh, okay. She didn't take it, it's right here.

Jesus. Oh, she got a bite. Oh, both too much for me. They're both too much, but the other one is less too much. You look to me like I didn't give her the donut. I thought you didn't give her the donut. I'm not trying to keep the donut from anyone. Give me the donut.

Though I have eaten almost, I made a joke about, they're not being, and now I have eaten almost both of the donuts. Yeah, I mean, I want to take another bite of it, despite it being truly disgusting. I, boy, I think that these are... You look at see-through time. I don't know.

It's too much, it's too much sugar. I think, I don't think I can give either of these my endorsement because as much as I love peanut butter and chocolate, I think I'd rather just have a Reese's or a traditional donut. I think that this hybrid is just unholy. Especially from Krispy Kreme, they have great options. They have great regular donuts, I just get one of them.

Are we giving this Tom Broca or are we giving it Brian Williams? These are, this is a Brian Williams for me. I think this is a Brian Williams for me as well. Yeah. That's the bad one. Oh, got it. Brian all the way.

Yeah. This is Brian. These are, you just could never, first of all, donut, I still think that donut is, I know it's, I still think of it as a breakfast item. Even though if it's like an afternoon or a brunch thing, this is just so, this is the sweetest donut I've ever eaten. It's insane.

It might be, it's so fucking sweet. It's so sweet. It's ridiculous. And you can have a fast food dessert that's not that. Like you don't need to be that, like, hey, the Twix, I don't think those Twix desserts were too sweet. No. Those were like the right level of sweetness.

Yeah, it's just tough when you got. It's really sweet. It's so dense with flavor in a bad way. It's just that sweet cream. I mean, it's just a combo of. Yeah. Yeah, it should, I think, you know what I think it should be? I think it's just be the flavor on top is Reese's and then like.

Yeah. Like a Boston cream donut. Right. Like the, like the cream inside of Boston cream donut is not too sweet. It's a little bit more like custard. Well, it's a custard, right? Yeah. It's like not too much.

And so then the chocolate on top is good. They counteract each other a little bit, but this is like sweet, sweet, sweet. It's, yeah, it's too much. It's, it's blue on blue. I think this, these are, you know, they are Brian Williams. They're not quite bad enough to be Matt Lowers, but they are Brian Williams for sure.

Yeah. People didn't even know we had another ranking. It's a whole different tier. That was breaking chews. Just like a restaurant. We value your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. Today's email is from John Malloy in DC,

where we'll be in just a couple of weeks, Mitch. What chain restaurant would you force your worst enemy to eat for dinner every night for the rest of their lives? Oh, this is good. They can change up the meal, but feel like this would give great insight into what places you guys think are absolute garbage. It is a good question, John.

Does anything come to mind, Haley? You want a second to think on that? Whoa. No, you guys go first. I don't, I'm kind of really interested in what you guys have to say. I think, so my, my gut tells me, I want to punish them with something that is, there's a dearth of options. Like, like, you know, In-N-Out has a very limited menu,

but In-N-Out is very, very good. Like I love In-N-Out. So I would, I wouldn't feel like I was punishing someone, even if I, that would gradually drive them insane. I feel like a place that's like very, very heavy. And honestly, I might do Cold Stone. Wow. Making me fucking Cold Stone every night.

Wow. Ice, just ice cream. Wow, that's good. Just ice cream with different mix-ins. And yeah, they can vary it up a little bit, but man, they are living on the toilet. That's so good, shit. Yeah. I'm trying to think.

This is tough. Oh, I would do Krispy Kreme. Krispy Kreme is a good one as well. Because of precisely that. Yeah. Because it's like, I mean, donuts are, they can be different, but they're not that different from each other.

It's true. So really, you're just eating sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet, all the time. Just better hope your worst enemy is in Homer. Does she look like Grimes to you? That's true. You're not Grimes. You're gonna give off a Grimes vibe.

That's really... You know what I think is a good answer for me? I got an answer. Except some people are gonna like this, I think. There's too many options. My answer was gonna be Starbucks. Oh, that's pretty good. Because I think those little packaged foods

would get you so depressed if you ate that every night. Oh, yeah, they're so bad. Yeah. But maybe there's too many good options at Starbucks. Now they have those Bantam bagel bites, which are really good. That's true. They have a few things that are okay.

There's variety. I do feel like you can get like fruit there and nuts, which counts for something. So you're not just eating pure garbage. Could it only be the 7-Eleven like hot food? 7-Eleven hot food only would be fun. Wow. You really hate your worst enemy.

I don't know. I gotta say, if that's hell, heaven can wait. You can deal right with those rollers. Well, also, you do know that you are my enemy. No, I think you guys kind of nailed that. I think Cold Stone is one of the better answers. Ice cream for dinner every night. Yeah.

A little kid's dream, a parent's nightmare. Absolutely. Wow. And a dentist's fucking second house. Is there like a dog chow cafe or something that could make me dog food? Dog chow cafe. I probably use a dog bakery, but I mean, I don't know if it's

a franchise. Just food for dogs, right? Have you seen that place? Yeah. Also, like I thought of something like Jollibee or... But this is like the fried chicken. Jollibee is good. Yeah.

I mean, I'm saying like Zee pizza. Some place that I thought was like so heavy and weird stuff. Yeah, Zee pizza is good. And weird, but maybe some people would love to use Zee pizza every night of the week. I know so many people who, if you said Panda Express, they'd be like, that's my diet anyway. Yes.

I mean, we know people who just eat like shit and like... Yes. So I... Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it was not a good thing for me to be like... Like a more ethnic restaurant, Mitch, for God's sake, you fucking idiot.

No one was thinking that. Okay. It's fine. Wait, does Zee pizza do like weird stuff to their pizzas? I think you were thinking of Mr. Pizza. Oh, Mr. Pizza. Because there's a pizza franchise in Colorado called Blackjack that's kind of weird, very acquired.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it like that or is it just weird? It's Mr... It has like shrimp sauce and stuff on the pizza. It's fucking weird. Fuck. You know, but cold stone is a great answer.

Yeah. Let us know where you would sentence someone to food hell. Hashtag, fast food revenge. And if you have a question or comment over the world of chain restaurants, you need to know us at dowayspodcastedmail.com. That's not... We could be fast food revenge, fast food sentence, fast food punishment, fast food...

Hell. I mean, fast food hell is good. Hashtag, fast food hell. If you have a question or comment, forget revenge. Hashtag, fast food hell. Use the hashtag revenge for the show. If you have a question or comment on the world of chain restaurants, you need to know us at dowayspodcastedmail.com.

That's a voicemail at 830 Godot. That's 830 4636844. And to get the Dowboys double, a weekly bonus episode. Join the Golden or Platinum Play Club at patreon.com. Slash Dowboys. Haley Mancini. A delight to have you here. Y'all have to come back.

Thanks for having me. The last kids on earth is coming soon. Yeah, that's right. So check it out. September 17th. You can follow me on Twitter at Haley Mancini or you can check out zero underscore Godzilla, Z-E-R-O underscore Godzilla.

Or me. You can also check me out late at night, operating a small Mickey toy. Scaring little Mitch. That was you. I forgot to mention that. This happened all through adulthood. Fell new for this episode of Dowboys.

So next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, Abnick Weigher. Happy eating. See ya. On the next Dowboys Double, we open up the feedback and answer your questions. Plus, we taste Testarito's new ultimate cheddar flavor. Sounds like a good munchie snack.

Emma. Get the Dowboys Double every Tuesday only at patreon.com slash Dowboys. That was a hate gun podcast.