Doughboys - Burger King 6 with Jon Gabrus & Adam Pally

Episode Date: July 14, 2022

Jon Gabrus and Adam Pally (101 Places To Party Before You Die) join the 'boys to discuss their new show and food on set before a review of Burger King. Plus, another edition of Last Meal. Sources for this week's intro: https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/all-we-can-eat/post/the-55-cent-whopper-and-the-evolution-of-burgers/2012/12/03/8dffc456-3d68-11e2-bca3-aadc9b7e29c5_blog.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.671c312eaf0c https://www.gainesville.com/story/news/local/2017/05/13/gainesville-it-turns-out-is-actual-home-of-whopper/21041480007/ https://www.mashed.com/133013/what-you-dont-know-about-burger-kings-famous-whopper/ https://www.rd.com/list/burger-king-whopper-facts/ https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/10/08/why-black-whopper-turns-your-poop-green/73623596/    Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's up, everybody? It's your boy, The Spoon Man, and I want to talk to you about today's sponsor, Uber Eats. At Uber Eats, we've helped more than 400,000 restaurants across the U.S. reach new, hungry customers and deliver growth quickly through new orders. Uber's global platform can help you grow, reach new people, get valuable sales data, and unlock ways to expand with flexible delivery options. Put your business on Uber Eats. Get access to the Uber Eats platform, including valuable sales data to grow your business. Dig into your data. Really dig in there, anytime, to monitor your performance and customer order trends. Wow. Wow.

Why, restaurant owners, enjoy 0% commission for the first 30 days on all orders, offer subject to change per the terms of the restaurant agreement. Wow, 0% on the first 30 days. Sign up today. That link that you want to click on is down there in the episode description. Right down there. Check it out. There it is. Move your cursor. Go ahead and click. Or if you're on your phone, use your finger and click that link. Click that link in the episode description. I suggested that we call our product a Whopper, knowing that this would convey imagery of something big. These are the words of Jim Macklemore, co-founder of the nation's second largest

burger chain, describing in his autobiography the conception of his company's signature hamburger sandwich. First launched in 1957 for sale at 37 cents, the Whopper celebrates its 65th anniversary this year, naturally at a much higher price point, but the burgerie that slings this beefy big boy has no plans for retirement. It remains the brand-defining offering of this Pepsi of hamburger joints. And though the rest of its menu has evolved over the years, reacting to various industry trends, the current chicken line reflects the ongoing Chick-fil-A style chicken sandwich craze, the Florida-founded fast-food franchise has remained a Whopper-centric universe. Over the years, the chain has auditioned variations

on the theme, some sticking around like the Papa Bear-sized double Whopper and Baby Bear Whopper Jr., and more recently, the wildly successful plant-based impossible Whopper. Others have had less esteemed runs, the Iron Man 2-themed Whiplash Whopper, the Microsoft tie-in Windows 7 Whopper, and the viral-for-the-wrong-reasons Halloween Whopper, whose black bun allegedly died Post-Meal BMs Frankenstein Green. So does its newest Southwest varietal have the rare staying power to turn from one-off to regular offering? Whatever the response, six decades of history tell us the original Whopper will still remain, and you'll still be able to have it your way. This week on Doughboys, we return, once again, to Burger King.

Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weigher, along with my co-host, Lord of the Fries, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. That's never been said before? It feels... Never been said before. Christopher sent that in. I thought of a roast and didn't see it used in the wiki, so I thought I'd send it in. Thanks for the laughs, roastspoonman.gmail.com. So there you go. If that's Christopher Soprano, then that was funny. I don't want to mess with that guy. Chris Multisanti, you mean?

Oh, yes. I mean, he's a part of the Sopranos extended family. My favorite show of all time. Yeah. Until maybe, until there's a premiere of a show coming out, that might be my favorite show of all time. Boy. Hey, little teas. Chris Multisanti. Ray, rest in peace to Pauly.

Tony Cirico, great actor, great career. Are you laughing because this is a horrible send off for Tony Cirico? I feel like you're doing all this Italian shit on my behalf and I'm a little uncomfortable. Tony Cirico, great guy, RIP. Great crew. Wikes, how are you? I'm doing well. Look, we have one guest that's way overdue and then another.

Who's the exact opposite of overdue? Our most frequent guest. This is the duo. This is the odd couple that we have with us today. And we want to get to them because they've been doing media all day. I'm sure they're a little bushwacked. But before we do that, you got a drop. I'm looking for it, all right?

Oh my God. I can't believe you're not ready with this. I asked you if you wanted me to fuck this before we started. We usually talk for five to 10 minutes. We talk for a long time. Yeah, but our guests were like, hey, we've been, we're fucking wiped. I know, but that's fine. Don't get into rush mode.

If you get into rush mode, it's going to be a bad episode. So don't go into rush mode. Well, I'm not going into rush mode. It's going to be a good episode because our guests are great. Our guests are great. Is this the podcast? Is this it? This is it.

This is what it is. Yeah. I'm the most frequent guest and more or less this is what it is. I missed you on me to play it. No, I got it. I got it. I found it. Davis was air drumming some Neil Pert, I should say, at the mention of rush, which was rush mode.

That was a lot of fun for me. That was the first concert I went to with the Anaheim Pond. Really? The first concert you went to was rush? Yeah. It was soul asylum at Jones Beach. Wow. Rush.

New kids on the block, continental airlines. Oh, that's cool. Hell yeah. That was a WBCN River rave, I believe, is the first concert I went to. I saw the mighty, mighty boss stones, less than Jake. Yeah. A lot of fun. Let's just lead with artists so that people know what you're talking about.

Yeah, I don't quite remember the name of the tour, but I do remember. You said it was Otter's Jug Band Christmas that you was your first concert? My first concert was Jingle Ball, 1992. Sponsored by Cadillac. Play the drop, asshole. I went to a Roger Waters concert. My friend's mom, Mrs. Tufo, she gave us a ride. My friend Martin, he gave me what he said was acid.

I bought it from him and I took it and I was in the van with Mrs. Tufo. She drove us to the concert. And then when we got out, he was like, that was vitamin C. It wasn't acid at all, but I think they expected me to like flip out and act like, this is crazy, but I never did it. You know what I mean? I never fell for the, I passed the test. You know what I mean?

Right. But then I did take two tabs of mescaline at that concert. It was really crazy. So how could you tell what was the mescaline in the high C? Right. All right. Here's the drop. Hold on.

I got it. I got it loaded up. And you're going to leave all this in, right? That's the best. I did think the crowd was changing. I'm not editing this at all. We haven't even announced our names. I know.

That's not what doesn't happen yet. Yes. All this shit has to happen first. I was watching prehistoric planet. All right. I'll save that for later. Hold on. All right.

Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here is a little drop. Here we go. Plastic fork city. The city is also weird.

That's it. The perfect fucking length. It was nice and short. It was nice and short. 20 seconds. Literally, that's the only clip I've ever heard that's both not too short and not too long. It was kind of perfect. Yeah.

Great length. Hey, Wally and Herman. In Boston, Mitch asked us to get back to the simple life. Drops with one or two clips from a show. To that end, here's my ode to guns and roses. Hope to see you in Chicago in 2022. Uh-oh. That was canceled because of COVID.

XOXO Leah, AKA Chicago Leah in the dose court. Hey, thanks Leah. Chicago Leah. Thanks. Chicago Leah, thanks. Like Wag said. What a drop. What a member of the discord.

And also what guests we have with us today. Big guests. Our guests host the new true TV show 101 Places to Party Before You Die, which premieres July 14th after Impractical Jokers. If you're listening tonight, or if you're listening today on release day, that's tonight. So check it out. John Gabriel, Adam Pally. Guys, thanks for being here.

Thank you so much for having me. Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. I've heard so much about this show and it's everything. It's everything I dreamt of. And it's really great to finally meet you guys. A true joy. You get to see Mitch's mom's basement on the first time you meet the freak.

That is wonderful. It's nice. And you are Nick. Why? I'm sorry. Why? Why you're? It's all right.

I'm just going to say Nick. Yeah, that's fine. That works. He'll know who you're talking about if you use the word Nick. Nick and Mitch. Nick and Mitch. Adam, you know, it's funny. I met you on the set of the Mindy project.

This is the truth. Yes, we've met quite a bit actually in real life. And you were very nice to me on the set of the Mindy project. I never forgot it. You were very... This is the truth. He's told this story not with you around. So I know it's true.

He's told me this. It's the truth. Yeah, it's true. Yes. Oh, dude, I remember that. You were so funny. I mean, our scenes were together and we kind of riffed off a lot of it. And it was just so fun.

It was great. You were very nice to me and you came over and talked to me and I won't forget. It was very, it was very, it was very nice. It was, you were very, very nice. I haven't, I haven't forgotten you. We've, we've, we've hung up. I've seen you quite a bit since then, but that was a, that was like the first time I really interacted with you and you were, you were very nice to just a guest star for

the day, but you were very kind and you came over and talked to me. And that's, and sometimes people don't do that. Why? Look how low the bar is for what Mitch considers kind in engaging with them while at work together. What is your, what is your life, dude? Sadly, that is kind of the way it is on set. You, people are assholes.

This is also Mitch's personal moral compass, which is that someone is good or bad based on whether or not they were nice to him on a previous occasion. That's right. That's what makes someone a good or bad person. That's right. If Jared from Subway was nice to me before I met him and all this, I would be supporting him today. I would, I would have his back.

Mike said, you're still pissed that he stole your pants for that ad. Wait, Pally, I think, I think you're muted, Adam. You're muted. You're, he's leaving. Oh, my headphones just busted out in the middle, but I had such a good joke there. Dude, do you want to run it back? Yeah. Are you still recording, but listening to the call out loud?

I am, which is going to be a problem. Yeah. Is there any chance you have another pair of headphones? There is. There's a strong chance. Let me get another pair of headphones. Okay. All right.

Great. Thank you. I want to know what the joke was. We can still, we can still riff, huh? The three of us. You want to keep going. Or I can just cut it out. I guess just, I guess the three of us can do a podcast.

We can do it. We can do it. I wonder if the three of us are going to handle a podcast. I got, I got a, I got a Coke heavy going likes. A little Coke heavy mini. Treat yourself. Axel Rad's coming back tonight. We're going to, we're going to do some alumni pizza.

The ax man. The ax man. He's in Quincy. He's coming back to your house. He was going to go see, he's, he's trying to see a bunch of the ballparks and across the United States. Oh, cool. He talked to me about this.

We were, we were having it like he's driving across the country, seeing ballparks. What a fun thing to do with your life. He was going to go see Fenway, but then the ticket was a hundred bucks. He didn't do it. And then it was Yankees Red Sox. I told him he should have done it. Oh yeah. That's way worth it.

He should, he should have done it, but he can stick around the next day and like get like, get like, watch like Red Sox Marlins or something for a lot cheaper. Right. You could, you could get a Red Sox. Like on the right day, you could get a ticket for like 20 bucks. I'm sure. Yeah. Maybe just want to see the ballpark.

I get it. That's, that's, that's what he wants. I mean, that's, that is what he wants. So he tried Regina Wags. He liked Regina. He said it was one of the best pizzas he's ever had. Great. And now we're having some more bar pizza tonight, some alumni.

See, we, look, we can podcast. We're still doing it, man. We're talking about food like sort of boringly. It's perfect. Just like every other episode. Talking about a guy who's not here at life. Who's not the guest. Wait, are you back at him?

He can hear us. He can hear us. Great. I did it. I don't know how that managed to do that. I've never done anything like that. Yeah. I was a little nervous once we entered tech.

And to be fair, switching headphones is considered tech. If your friends with Adam. But I really, I really came through. I feel like I should send that last 15 minutes to the geek squad. Yeah. I think, I think that's an application. You just got hired for IT at Netflix.

And you keep telling everyone, I got a Netflix gig coming up. I got, I got, I got to run the joke back because I want to hear your joke. Oh, that's right. You had a joke earlier. Oh yeah. I had one.

It's Jared from Subway. You know, if he, if he was nice to me when I met him, I would have, I would have, I would have, I would be on team Jared. To be fair, you met him while you were quite young. He was arguably too nice to you, Mitch. All right. So it's worth it. It's good.

I'll say, wayo. Wayo. Is that the time when he, when I met him, Gabor? Is that, was that, is that were you setting the scene with that, with the song or are you? No, I was singing, groom, groom, groom. Let me hear you say, wayo. Are those the lyrics?

Groom, groom, groom. I believe it's Zoom. I believe so. I believe so. No, I believe it's groom, groom, groom. Oh, because of grooming. Yes. Because you were grooming a child.

Now let me hear you say, wayo. It's not groom, groom, groom. I thought you were singing boom, boom, boom. I thought it goes, groom, groom, groom, 17 year old. Maybe I have the lyrics wrong. I keep ruining karaoke night. No wonder no one wants to go to karaoke. And not just because I choose that song, but I do an awful cover of it.

I do an old version. The Leah got married over a weekend. Congrats. Congrats to him. I know. I gave a speech, dude. Yeah. Dude, we were on table 13.

RIP, Tony Syrica. I want to talk a little bit about travel because the show, you guys are going to a bunch of different places. You're going to different spots. Correct. And like, was this very eating heavy? You got a lot of food that you're consuming, I assume. Yeah.

It's a very eating heavy. It's a food and travel show. So most of the scenes revolve around what we're eating. Restaurants and bars and activities. And we do eat a lot, but that is what we travel for anyway. I know you guys can sort of relate to this, but go somewhere, fly across the country to eat Kelly's roast beef. You just do dumb shit.

Yes. Plus like the meal is as important as the museum. So like, yeah, we're going to eat and that's what we're seeking out, you know? But I would also say, I feel like we can relate to you guys even more now that we have this like, even more. Finally, I could relate to Mitch. There's nothing. We have nothing else in common.

Yeah. Folding head, dad's dead. Normally, when I see you guys, even though we aren't like super tight, we have nothing to talk about. Such an awkward, awkward interaction every time we cross that. Yeah. Except if Wiger's there, then he's got all his conversation starter cards that he brings with him.

Want to see my knife collection? But we're in that space where we have a really dope job that will be our, the thing that kills us. 100%. So what do you think? What do you think is the, because you eat and then also drink? So what do you think is the thing that was tougher when you were shooting the show?

Was it drinking or eating? I think, you know, honestly, it was both to me. Like the liquor is a lot because you're shooting. So like, we'll, we call it running the board, but we'd go into a restaurant and they'd be like, what do you like? And if you're not paying for it and you see like three cocktails that kind of speak to you, you order all three. And before you know it.

Pass it to a cameraman or whatever, eventually. Pass it to a cameraman, pass it to a sound guy. Before you know it, you've had every different cocktail on the menu and you're just like, oh God, like I am mixed up and like then they bring out the chicken hearts. Yeah. I feel like it's not even as, it's not acute. It's the volume or the, the stamina.

It's like, I could pretty much do drugs, eat like a gavone and drink my face off for 48 hours and get my life back together after it. I've done it a ton of times, but then it's when you have to shoot the next episode. That's the problem. When you're like, wait, no, no, no, I still, I need another week of stretching. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, I'm not going home.

I'm going to Portland or something. You're like, oh, I blew it out. I made it through the weekend. You're like, all right. Well, we just landed at the next episode. Here is a peanut butter milkshake for breakfast. Chug this fat pig bitch. Yeah.

We were doing some weird stuff. Is that director saying that too? To be fair, I was going to say, to be fair, that was the showrunners, like on the call sheet, we didn't want to use our names. We were wearing a little too, like people like find the call sheets, then they're asking for autographs, but if it's fat pig bitch. And I was Rudy Giuliani. Why do you mitigate this when you're not shooting?

Like, cause you've got to also just got to like have like meals, you know, that aren't on camera just to sustain yourself. Why are you just asking about those hotel salads? That's what he wants to know. Yeah. I'll always get a boring hotel salad. Yeah. Yeah.

That was kind of our strategy. Truthfully is like, we tried really hard that if we were not rolling to like not go crazy, because there is the other thing that you do, which is like, even though you're shooting a food and travel show, you are still shooting a show with your best friend. When you find yourself in like a city where there's a good steakhouse that you've heard of or something, you're like, well, we got to go to that. Yeah. We only have eight restaurants on the shooting schedule and we're like, but we don't have

this one. So maybe we should go to that one on our day. So we messed up a couple of times. There were a couple of times where we were like really getting after it off camera. Yeah. And then we had to kind of correct that. The hardest part of that, the hardest one to resist is the post wrap drinks where the whole crew wants to have a few drinks because you just shot.

They just shot in a bars at bars and restaurants all day. And we have had enough drinks to go home and get our rest and drink water, but we can't turn down the crew. Crews are also just way more badass than. Yeah. They're all like 15 years younger and tougher and like working hard for a living, but like they watch us drink all day. They're like, come on, we're going to go get some drinks.

And now Adam and I are three quarters in the bag from shooting. So it's hard to say, no, I'm going to go home and be responsible. I'm going to go home and get 10 greens and then do yoga. No, you're like, all right, Steve or the DP, let's get fucking nuts. And then the next morning, the next morning he's like, man, that was really fun. We got after it last night, but at least we were able to kind of get home early and relax. Like, yeah. Oh, you didn't have eight my ties on camera before we did that.

Yeah. You missed the first part. I aged like, I aged like dog years. I feel like eagle-eyed viewers could watch episode one and episode eight and just see like, well, his eyes are more sunken. His cheeks are like, he's got more gin blossoms on his nose. He's really going down the fucking toilet. Oh yeah.

I went from Joaquin Phoenix to Jeff Bridges in like three weeks, dude. I went from Jack Black to Josh Gad. Which like, honestly is not that far road, but it's a dark one. Yeah, but it's, you still don't want to make that transition. You don't want to be on it. You don't want to be on it. Yeah. You want to keep it as Jack Black as possible.

Jack Black to Josh Gad. Fuck. Yeah. That's a tough one. It's a horrible transformation. I'm describing every audition room I walk into, except for from Mitch and Weigar in there. I mean, Mitch and Gamberling in there.

Not Weigar. Weigar's there, but he's just with a lampshade on his head, watching everyone from the corner. Interesting. And I went, I went from Jake Johnson to David Krumholz. Oh no. I just spilled cold brew on my computer. So if I start.

Oh boy. Oh no, you got sucked in. You're in a Doughboy's episode, dude. Oh no, you're trapped in a Doughboy's episode. Send me in there. If we did a, if this episode was just written out where Pally and Gabriel get sucked into the episode, you know what? That would be fun.

Why? Cause we could do something like that. The six time. No, we have to, I ate this fucking garbage. I'm going to die from it. I better be able to talk about it. And then like I fight off a Burger King with a Chobochiko. We maybe should do this.

That's pretty good actually. We're Burger King six, by the way, I just looked it up. I said six. I said six. I said six. I don't mean to hustle you into this part of the, of the shell because I'm sure that there's like a whole thing about it. But like, I believe that this burger was actually a reboot.

Our assignment was a bit of a reboot. Yeah. It kind of is in a way. But it was a disappointing reboot. Fascinating. What do you send on burgers in general? Love them. Yeah.

What do you look for on a burger? Big fan. I mean, honestly, anything. Like there's not too many burgers that I won't eat. Like on the floor, in the street, like on the toilet, it doesn't matter. If it's like meat in a cylindrical form in between Brad, I'll eat it or not me today. I had the beyond.

Yeah. Wow. With the impossible offer today. Yeah. I'm a big, I'm not a burger. I wouldn't call myself a burger boy, but I am. I am a fan of burgers. I find it to be like in, you know, I love anything delivered.

Meat and cheese delivered within side of carbs. However you, I mean, I think I just described food in general, but yeah, I love that packaging. And so burgers is a kind of a classic representation of that packaging, classic American representation. So it was, I'm always been a fan of burgers. I, I've been, I've been in New Orleans off and on for the last like month and a half.

And I just been, I've, that, that to me was one of the heaviest food cities. I've ever been to. Everything's on a sandwich. Everything is on a sandwich. It makes, it honestly makes Chicago seem not as bad. And my, my, my titties are just getting longer. My titties are kind of long now.

They're like, like, I got, like, yeah, I got like a kind of. Are you going to turn on Braveheart? Are you going to turn on William Wallace? Long tits. All right. Let's do some, let's do some Mel Gibson stuff. Let's get it. Mel Titson.

Mel Titson. Mel Titson other than. Mel Titson. Mel Titson. He seems like a nice guy. A anderes jacuzzi. Who took my Laker tickets? Blow me.

The Jews took my Laker tickets. I'm not a burger guy per se. Gaberson and I have been going to moon shadows every weekend waiting for him to come back. He's never been back to moon shadows. I mean, you guys shouldn't be dressed like Braveheart. That's the number one. I think it's easy. It's easy to out there.

Yeah. I kind of might just being in the truly like kind of orangutan you longer, like I could feel my. What are you doing in New Orleans that you're eating? Like what's your food of prey? What's your poison? This is the issue is just that I'm just I'm filming down there, but just on set. There's just like Brett every day. There's like just heavy good food.

There's good set food. You have good set food. I have. We have good set food. It's wild. You have like New Orleans set food. They're like the Etou Faye is coming out at lunch and it's like 110 degrees and you're eating like catfish with fucking gravy on it and stuff.

Right. Crawfish, mac and cheese for real. Like every day it's like. Jesus. That's wild. That's too much. I'm used to Vancouver and wet Dover Soul soaking a Dover Soul that has been soaked in water and broccoli Rob just broccoli Rob like that with the consistency of pasta.

That's what I'm looking for in a set lunch. Maybe a strawberry shortcake frozen solid. Yes. That's seed that not this is like it feels like homemade bread pudding like every other day. It's so it's crazy. And I had to just, I had a, I had a, I had to pull back a little bit, but of all the cities, just a little bit.

I mean, just a little bit. I'm having pizza tonight. You know what the bummer, you know what the bummer is of set food though that I really like still conflates my mind. I don't understand it. Is that you, you'll work in New Orleans or something where they have all this amazing food and you walk into lunch and you're like, Oh my God, there's like a touffé and rice and like, it smells amazing.

And you're like, and, and what can I, what can I have for drink? And they're like, here's a Dixie cup full of half and half. Here's like a small, and you got to fill it yourself. You got to fill it yourself over in that trough over there. Like it is on a Palmer. You're allowed one shot. Yeah. And you're like, what?

Yes. How is anybody hydrated here? Here's a Benadryl cap. Go have, go have iced tea, lemonade or water. Yeah. They're like, can't we fix the beverage situation on set? It is true. The small cups is the little eight ounce mouthwash cups.

It's, it's tricky. And, and yeah, and it's always iced tea and lemonade are the ones that I feel like are always present. And also so heavy with ice. No matter what, there's always ice heavy. Yeah. Every, so it's like, all right, I will drink this like powder water, whatever, but I need more of it.

Yeah. You guys stopped for meal breaks during the show, right? Like it, like it would be lunch. I need to squeeze in a lunch every once in a while. No. Cause the crew has. I'm wasting away. And the crew frequently would eat, they would schedule it.

So the crew could eat at a restaurant we just shot at. So frequently everyone's like, are you, are you going to grab lunch? It's like, you mean eat the same place one hour after we've eaten, eaten everything on the menu. No, I think we'll just chill in the car. Yeah. I just sleep for hours. Yeah.

There were so many times where like after our big restaurant scene, the crew would eat and then they'd come get us for the next scene and they'd open the door and I would fall out. Cause I was like, like, like resting on the door. Adam has, we've learned Adam has light narcolepsy or an uncanny ability to catch Zee's when and when and if he chooses. Literally it's like, what is it a seven minute drive? Okay.

Cool. Let's just lean back and instantly out just and you're like, uh, Adam is like phones ringing. Like he just does not wake up. You're like, Holy shit. And then every time he wakes up and, uh, every time he wakes up and this might be just genetic or cultural. Every time he wakes up, he thinks it's time to go to run, to leave.

I'm always like Adam just like grabbing shit off the wall. I'm like, it's okay. It's okay. We're just at a sports bar where we got to go play darts. It's going to be all right. That's how Jews are taught to awaken. If I awake, if I awake casually as a child, my grandmother would have been like, it's too slow.

They're going to get us. You don't need shoes. Put it in a bag. We'll take a break. We'll be back with more tell boys. Man wrong. I was just having so much fun. Oh man.

Thanks mom. You know, Mitch, you're about to take a little trip abroad. You're going to Costa Rica. That's right. I'm going to Costa Rica with the family. It's going to be a lot of fun. Going to maybe see a monkey. Oh, that's fun.

Going to maybe see a bird. Just that. Just a one monkey, one bird. That's it. Hey, that sounds like a heck of a vacay. And you know what? Knowing some Spanish might be helpful down there. And if you have an upcoming summer trip abroad, my go to travel hack is Babel.

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Do it. I'm great. I love that I spilled my... Welcome back to dough... Sorry, my bad. No, no, no. You're fine. I'm great.

I was just saying I love that I spilled my... Welcome back to doughboys. Not on purpose. Welcome back to doughboys. We're here with the host of the new True Tea Show. The thing now. Is it back on? Are we starting?

Places to party before you die. This is the thing. John Gabriel's Adam Pallier here. Talking about Burger King, which was founded in 1953, is Insta Burger King in Jacksonville, Florida. Drop the Insta Facebook style the next year, known as Hungry Jackson Australia, which we've talked about. Metta Burger.

Yes. Part of Restaurant Brands International, which also operates Tim Hortons and Popeyes. I do want to talk about this. One reason we're talking about Burger King. The billboard for your guys' show is the two of you pointing into the distance, and by coincidence of staging, in Hollywood, there's a billboard of the two of you pointing at a Burger King franchise. Yes.

That's the Burger King we ate at today. Wow. Really? Arguably, we are pointing at a crime scene. At some point, it'll be considered pointing at a crime scene, because the Burger King we were in was scary as fuck, and it was 11 a.m. Was it the Sunset Burger King? Yep, Sunset Liberia.

Yes. I've seen the Hollywood Boulevard, I think the Flash. The Hollywood Boulevard Flash was eating in costume at that Burger King before. Did you get an autograph? Wasn't that the only Burger King that stood the Rodney King riots? It's the only one still here. Is that true? No, I don't know.

It just feels like it feels now landmarked. We can't take it down. I grew up in Southern California, and when the riots happened, there was a Taco Bell that got burned down, and then they rebuilt the Taco Bell in 48 hours, and it was presented on the news as like a story of the triumph of the human spirit. Yes. It's like the town came together and rebuilt this Taco Bell in two days, and it's up and up.

The other time I was in the Burger King drive-through, there was this guy taking forever in front of me. I honked. It turns around. It's Reginald Denny. Can't we all just get along? Did things escalate? If you didn't drag him out of his cab.

So the- I did not beat Reginald Denny. I did not beat Reginald Denny at all. Don't start that rumor. At all. Okay. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Do I take you out of this car? Are you like, oh my God, of all the people I could be saying that to, I am so sorry, Miss. Of course I instantly recognize you. Oh my God. Oh, I'm so embarrassed. Oh my God.

How much did you hear? Can we get a picture real quick? I made a short film in college, and the director ended up being a camera artist. He ended up being a camera operator on a documentary about Rodney King, and they had some time to kill on set, and so the director just showed him this short film that I wrote. So Rodney King, at some point in his life, took like a 10 minute stretch and watched a 10 minute comedy short written by Nick Weiger. Is that real?

There you go. It's absolutely true. Yeah. And he was like, just take me to a police station, shut the shit off. Yeah. He's like, you know what I'd rather do? Hold on, be pulled over by the LAPD. Then watch fucking Psy danced with Jar Jar Binks or whatever the fuck they were writing.

Yeah, it's like, oh cool, the elevator is fast in the stairs. The fuck is going on? So the Southwest Bacon Whopper is the new menu item right now. This is a patty, regular or impossible, with avocado spread, crispy bacon, seasoned tortilla strips, American cheese, crisp lettuce, sliced white onions, juicy tomatoes, and spicy sauce on the toasted sesame seed bun. One would argue, perhaps ungepochka, a lot of components on this. I think perhaps too many.

And I will say that this is a thing, so I'm not eating red meat, and the impossible version of this, by default, comes with bacon, which to me is a absurd decision. Yeah. Yeah. Why would they have that on by default? I asked for no bacon. Yeah, I asked for no bacon as well. I asked for no bacon.

I didn't want it to. And you know, in hindsight, I think it, oddly, it was missing the bacon. Bacon helps a little bit, I think. I think it would help. Yeah, because that's salt. Burking bacon's not bad. You'd say Wendy's has the best bacon wags, and we've talked about this before, but as far as the big fast food places.

Yeah, among the major ones, I mean, you know, five guys, I think, is great. But I would definitely say the Wendy's bacon among those, like, yeah, those major chains, the macro chains. Yeah. I think this is, here's what I'll say, and my short review of this one, I want to get your guys' thoughts, is just like, anytime you get the varietal on the existing menu item, it has to be at least better or as good as the regular item. And to me, it's just like, there's no reason I would want this over regular whopper.

Regular whopper is better. No. Yeah, 10 times out of 10. I was just missing the regular whopper. I will pitch that I think the junior whopper is better than the whopper. In my personal opinion, I think the junior whopper, the ratios end up correct. Well, the whopper is enormous. It's bigger.

It's bigger than I remembered for sure. That's why it's a whopper. It's like a Big Mac is just two patties. A whopper is like bigger in circumference, I believe. Yes. It's a fucking personal pan pizza. Yeah. I found, so what I was saying before was like, there was a Burger King in my hometown that

was close to my high school. I mean, when you were seniors, you could like, they would let you drive off for lunch, you know? Wow. And so I would hit this Burger King like four days a week, you know? And one of my big things was they had a Southwest Burger and it had onion rings and barbecue sauce. Now, I've thought about this.

You mentioned this earlier. Was that called the rodeo cheese burger? The rodeo burger. I think it was called the rodeo. I'm starting to remember it now. I think it's called the rodeo. Yeah. But it was also, but it might have morphed when it came back.

We have a crazy fun fact about that, Wags. Is that that was for small soldiers. There's the rodeo burger right there. I'm putting it right here. That was introduced for small soldiers, correct? We just were talking about this. This was a movie tie-in for the, yeah, for the film Small Soldiers. We're talking about this in the next week's episode.

Are all soldiers the little army guys? Yeah. The Phil Hartman's in it. There's the dad or whatever. And they kept the burger after the movie because people loved the rodeo burger. You can still get a version of it on the menu. Yeah. But the version that's on it now.

I love the rodeo burger. You loved it. I loved it because I like onion rings and I liked a little bit of a sweet sauce. And so I loved it. So in my head, when I learned that we were going to be trying this, that's what I was thinking of. And so this taste is very far off from that. It's a totally different.

100%. It's really, really different. It's a full 180. It's not a common, it's not a common fast food flavor profile coming through on that Southwest burger. No, no. Like. There's avocado spread on it.

The spread is bad. Yeah. The spread is not great. The spread is bad. The spread is bad. I was getting, getting, this is what I said to gamers like, sometimes you know when, I don't know if your audience or you guys know this, but when you're making a salad at one of those like places where you can pick your ingredients, you know.

Yeah. It's like a custom salad place. And then you like go one ingredient outside of the profile you're doing and it changes the entire taste of the salad. Like you're like, oh, I was thinking like an agent chicken salad, but then I, then I decided to add chickpeas and all of a sudden I'm in a different, you know, taste profile. And I feel like that's what this Sam, like this burger was wild, wildly all over the map with where it was regionally tasting like.

I was going to say down to, you're saying down to bites, bites were completely different. Yeah. Yeah. Like one bite would be like, oh, this is, I said this almost tastes like a Middle Eastern burger. Yeah. It's like curry profile. Yeah.

I had a curry kind of vibe to it. And then, and the, and the chips are unnecessary because you get them. If you get the bacon, it was like, what, what are they replicating? What are the chips replicating? My thought the whole time I was eating it is just that I just wish I had a whopper. I did order other stuff. I didn't get, I didn't get a whopper, but, but this was, this, this had been, why is this had, was an item on the menu before and it's, it's being reintroduced, right?

This has already been an item once before. I think they had the Southwest bacon. We were talking about on the show, but yeah, I think they had a version of this, if not this exact same version on the menu. This also is being, being introduced again, Adam. So you weren't wrong. It is, it is something that happens. It is a reboot.

Yeah. I feel like I heard it and I feel like in my head when they first brought it back, I, I was like, maybe it was like Mandela effect or something, but I was like, oh, that's the rodeo burger. Yes. You know, like, cause, cause it's the only flavor profile from Burger King that you're like, I understand that. It's like the chicken sandwiches, the whopper and the rodeo burger.

And that's it. Everything else is kind of like wild. The onion ring is the separator from them and McDonald's too. So the more they lean into it, the, the more, you know, the more, the distance they get from McDonald's, which I think helps. But I think their chicken, their chicken sandwiches are also a big separator. Cause when I was a kid, like if you, my mom would take me to get, they used to have like almost a chicken parm version of that sandwich.

Do they still have that? Yeah. They'll do it special. I think it's another thing that they bring. They'll rotate it in. Yes. Yep. It's delicious.

That is a, a basically like microwave chicken parm. It's got the consistency of like a stress ball, you know, and it's like you eat it in two bites. It's like one bite, two bite. I just ate a sandwich, you know, and it's delicious. I, I love the, the, as, as Gabers calls it, the long boy. Yeah. The long boy is my favorite, is one of my favorite fast food sandwiches.

And as a matter of fact, I got Burger King twice, once on Friday night by myself for prep for the show. And then today Adam was like, I got to go eat Burger King. Let's go. And we, Tiff wanted to take a photo of us in front of the billboard. So we were like, all right, let's go. I go in with Adam and Adam's like, do you want anything? I'm like, I'll take the Whopper, Southwest Whopper again, this time with beef and bacon.

So I could try it that way. And I'll have a long boy, unbeknownst to Adam. Friday night, I had two long boys after I had my Southwest Whopper. So I've had three long boys in four days. Wow. So if I stop talking, it's because I'm dead. Okay. So help me.

Wide boys. Let's, let's talk about that long boy a little bit with the, the, the, they call it the classic chicken sandwich. I think they should just call it the long chicken sandwich because that's what everyone knows it by. Or I'm sorry, the original chicken sandwiches, their verbiage. And I haven't had one of these since in like a year and a half. I mean, because I didn't, I didn't have any meat at all in 2021.

And, and I had the last time I had a Burger King chicken sandwich, I wanted to try the chicken, which is pretty good. But it's definitely like a version of the Popeyes chicken sandwich, which is same corporate ownership. So that makes sense. You bring up an interesting point, Nick. It's that, it's, I'm shocked, I'm shocked that Burger King felt the need to pivot from their own chicken sandwiches.

It felt like, it felt like that was kind of a growing niche of Burger King that like people knew the long chicken sandwich. It was like, this is, and then you could be waited until the parm came out. You got that. You know, it was like, there was, that was growing. And then they like pivoted to the, to get into the Popeye. Cause everybody had to do some sort of like, yeah, everyone had to join that battle. But it really screwed up my, the way I think about those chicken sandwiches.

Cause now I don't know which is which or what I want or, you know what I mean? It's interesting. Burger King is in a weird spot right now. We say that BK is back, but obviously this item didn't work. Also, I think if you go to Burger King in Hollywood, it will never be back. I think where you guys went, it is impossible for it to be good. What's your favorite, what's your, what's your favorite Burger King? Honestly, if you, if you go up to, if you go up to the valley, there's some great

Burger Kings. If you get the one near the Burbank airport. Retro ones, like with that, that kind of like. The one that Marty McFly skateboards by in Back to the Future is a good Burger King. It's a really great Burger King. I also, I think that we, we've, I've searched. Can I shed another Burger King while you're talking real quick about locations? Yeah.

The, the, the Burger King. Can you join in the conversation? Yeah. Yeah. Of course, Nick. Burger King excellence. I like a warning. I don't.

At, at, cause this is right across the street from an office building I used to work in when I worked in the video game industry and it became a go-to lunch spot. And it's still the Burger King that I'll go out of my way to go to. It's on the west side of LA, but Sepulveda and Palms, the, the Burger King there. That is a fucking outstanding Burger King. There's good Burger Kings and there's bad Burger Kings. Yeah. Also, by the way, you're dressed in red, Adam, and, and Gabris is wearing a green hat.

It's a very much a Mario and Luigi sort of aesthetic that's going on right now. Yeah. Fucking, fucking Pratt. It's going to be like, the voice is going to be like unthink, going to be like, unlike anything you've ever heard is what he says. Yes. Cool. Mario that's never been realized before.

More Catholic. I got to find this, the, the, the exact quote because it's Chris is probably listening Chris. He's just messing around. I know that, uh, bro, I love you man. We love each other. Here's, here's the quote. Pratt has said his voice performances Mario will be updated and unlike anything

you've heard in the Mario world before. Wow. It's cut to him just doing his voice as Mario. He's just doing the full Martin net. Mama Mia. It's a me. Pratt and I, um, like started at this, like we, Parks and Rec started almost like the exact year that happy ending started.

So we were at a lot of the same like stuff early on, you know, and, um, we became friendly because we both like drink beers and stuff like that. And then, uh, a couple of years later, uh, we were on a flight next to each other from LA to Atlanta and I sat down and ordered like a Bloody Mary and a Bud Light like right back to back. And I was like, kind of sweet talking to get them both at the same time. And I was like, you want any things like black coffee for me? And I realized that like why our lives had gone in different directions.

That's a very, that's very much a party is over sort of, uh, Yes, I was like, and I was like waking up to it, like in that moment, like, what? I'm a mess. Wait, adults aren't supposed to be like this. What do you mean? I got to do some correction on us here. Wags. Okay.

I Googled South Southwest Whopper and I think it actually is a new food item this year. I don't know if it's something's got brought back. I don't know if you can, I don't know if you'll be able to, to being the correct history of it, but I also say that one of the articles, this is just in the first scroll I had here is frogs going extinct question mark plus Burger King's new impossible bacon whopper. That's at the ringer. That's Bill Simmons and the ringer. Frogs going extinct.

Coming up on the pie, we're going to talk about a frog's going to go extinct, then cousin Sal's here to pass, uh, to guess the lines. Uh, then also we're going to talk about Shinzo Abe's assassination, truly sad day for the world. Uh, then we're going to redraft the 1997 NBA draft, but first Pearl Jam. I thought you'd, I thought you'd throw the Whopper in. Oh yeah. The Whopper.

Imagine, imagine Shinzo Abe is, um, the three point line at the old Barston Gart. The shooter is Larry Bird. And the shooter is Larry Bird. He tells, he tells Scottie Pippin, I'm going to hit this three pointer right over your head. There's nothing you could do about it. Bang. Next thing you know, pans in turmoil.

He wishes he could do. He, he, Bill Simmons wishes for a second. And then this article right under it's Alex Jones eating a Southwest bacon whopper. Oh yeah. That was from your, that was from your guy's live show, right? Ladies and gentlemen, Alex Jones, the crowd goes nuts. Your live show at CPAC. It would be great if you two went like full incel.

I mean, you would double your fucking patron. Always get an escape valve. You can always turn right. That's, that's, that's my. Our live show at CPAP, gamers. We were at the CPAP. It was loud. The sound was terrible.

Mitch, I banged my, my preferred search engine of Microsoft being, I banged the Burger King Southwest bacon whopper and the headline I got was Burger King Southwest bacon whopper is a welcome distraction. Yeah, I got, I saw that a bunch too. Written by Amy Coney Barrett. They saw to keep him off my tail. I thought the original chicken sandwich held up. I was eating this.

I was like, this is fucking good. And at a certain point, like I asked Natalie if she wanted a bite and I handed it to her and she had something. She's like, fuck, this is fucking good. It's just, it's like the texture of the good, it's, it's like that, that's skinny patty, that skinny long patty. That form factor gives a nice crunch to meat ratio. And it's got a chew.

It's got a push back to chew pushback. Like it's not, it's like, it's not like mushy. It's like perfectly rubbery in a way. It's like got a good bounce back. It's a textural triumph. It's like an air max. It's like what's in your air max. The seasoning, the seasoning is trying to approximate like a chicken cutlet.

Like, like four C breadcrumbs. And it's not at all, but it's creating a completely new profile. That is, you know what they're going for? They're missing completely, but you're liking where it's landing. Yeah. And the bread, truthfully, the sesame seed bun is, is a, is a nice difference on that long chicken sandwich. Absolutely.

And then we're not, let's not even get into the fucking absolute Peter North Mayo job. These guys fucking. Jesus Christ. Holy shit. I love the mayo. It's like a fucking ladle of mayo with eight pieces of, eight tiny pieces of iceberg lettuce scattered through the mayo.

It's the ratio is insane. Everything else in fast food is so proportioned to them. It's like a conveyor belt line. Everything is like robotically measured. Two pickles, eight onions. Yeah. Everything, everything. You get to the Mayo and some like drunk guy was like,

Yeah. They bring the chicken sandwich on stage with a guar and the guar guy. Why can't this be as civilized as the rest of the process? I love those. I love, I love how much mayo is on it. I'm not a crazy mayo person, but I love the amount of mayo. It gets hot. Like the hot mayo on that sandwich, like, like steaming in there is fucking

unreal. I mean, I use that. I put a little ketchup on it and almost create like a thousand Island cheese steak. Wow. Situation. Oh, okay. I haven't tried that, but I'm not against it.

Of course. I mean, I'm the same guy that used, that my fair way I used to get my hot dogs was with hummus and bacon bits. Oh, wow. I actually like the sound of that. That sounds good. That's a spartic trick and I'm telling you, you're welcome. That's for my Lebanese cousins.

That sounds fucking awesome. It's the jump. It's the jump. Wait, but Adam, you said something that I wasn't thinking about previously and you kind of helped me break open my whopper critique as well. You said the seeded bun on the chicken sandwich and I've, that sesame seed bun is bomb. I think the whopper bun sucks.

And I think that might be why I like a whopper junior more because it's smaller fuck because two flimsy. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Burger, the big Mac's giving you three buns, but they're fucking tea cup sized, you know, and Burger King's giving you two buns, but they're fucking frisbee sized. So like that whopper is, and the bun is not great.

And then the whopper, I love that the burger is bigger than the bun. That's a fun thing that they insist on doing. And I like that. But the bun is whack. I'm sorry. Like that's their biggest fucking fault is how bad their bun is. I love the whopper. So this is hard for me.

Really? Like, see, I will say that the whopper also suffers from a Burger King like initiative, which is the charred, the fake char because you don't like it or you do like it. Oh, I don't like the fake char. Sometimes to me, it's like reminds me of the smell where like someone pukes, but then they spray for breeze. Jesus, it's it's chemically, you know, and you're like, as I smell that

puke, man, like, don't let's just do that. Jesus. A post-Doboy show, basically. Yeah, exactly. That is the people like family members who are at a Boston show. People, people were at the Boston show and they were guys like, there was a guy he puked on a bunch of audience members. You remember that?

Projectile vomited in the audience. No, that wasn't that wasn't your game versus there. That was that was pre covid. Those are pre quarantine Boston show. My family, my family was there and they were like, we had to move like a guy project like projectile vomited all over like a row of people. And I was like fucking animals. People are people go to comedy shows like they're going to fucking Woodstock now.

I swear to God. It's like, hey, someone's like, sorry, we were late to your show. We were fucking banging down shots and doing fucking mushrooms. And it's like, what dude? Can't come watch dumb short form improv now. You're going to have a fucking all right. Here's 30 minutes on the difference between civil discourse and violent protests.

I'm glad you're finally getting to that stuff, Adam. People want to hear. Am I on the right show for that? 100%. We'll talk to you about that for a long time. Gators, what are you going to do? I stepped on you. What are you going to say there?

I said, you just triggered a joke from earlier and since we're like getting chances to jump back and do jokes, Adam asked if any of your listeners would understand the salad thing. And the joke answer is no, of course not. I was going to ask you guys this quickly of how many cities you go to in total? Was it eight or 10? Eight.

And so of the eight cities, what to you was like the one where you're like, man, I'm like the most full and hungover of the, what was like the toughest city party wise? Is that, is this okay to ask? Is this a spoiler? Oh yeah. No, no, no. This is fun.

I mean, it's part of the show. The thing that I really like about the show and like the, the, the part that I can't wait for like you guys to see is that while normal travel shows will like not show that part, that becomes like full narrative. Where are we, where are we going to shit? Like we start falling apart. Yeah. Yeah.

Like in the Moab episode, you can like literally hear it in my voice and see it in my eyes that I'm dying. I'm like, I like at the raspy voice and I'm like all faded and shit. It's brutal. I look like a shadow. Yeah. Moab was really tough because we had, we own, we had been on the road for a long time before we got there and then we got there and it was like a change.

It was like, we're going to do something new in Moab. We're going to do extreme sports all day, every day. And then when you get off, you're going to get as fucked up as possible in two hours. And you're like, that's not how the show works. More of a slow crawl, you know, more of like easy to the cocktails of the day. It's like, not here. Get on that dune buggy.

And then when you get off, we're going to pour a beer down your throat. Holy shit. It's like by the end, by the end of Moab, we are honestly the Utah drinking laws saved our fucking lives. We got cut off. I've never actually been cut off. I mean, I've been thrown out of bars, but I've never actually been like no more for you, pal.

But we got our first, you finished the bottle of wild turkey and I'm not allowed to serve you guys anymore due to the Utah drinking rules. So twice in Utah on camera, I drank a restaurant out of a bottle of what they had. Dear God. And it was like, yeah. And it was like only because we were taking longer to shoot than I wanted. Like it was just purely. It wasn't them demanding.

Yeah. No. It was like time. It was like, we have another hour to talk about stuff. Yeah. Bring out that bottle. And Utah, you can only order like one drink at a time. If Wagner and I shared a bottle of booze, I feel like it would end with his hands around

my throat or his own throat. I don't know what it would be. A little from Colin May. A little from Colin B. Davis and I are kind of, I think even though we can be annoying to each other and to other people, we're kind of laid back in that way. So like we didn't get at each other's throats at all really. Like we were just kind of like, and maybe it was also because we had just come off of

two years of a pandemic. So it was nice to be out of our houses, but it was like, you know, fairly forgiving in that way. Yeah. It's we're old now. We've been friends forever. It's we know that the juice ain't worth the squeeze to like dig in. Like, like we, we're both married to tough, independent alpha women.

So we're so adjusted to just hold it on to the fucking back of the boat and getting blast in the face with the wake, you know, like, yeah, we know we'll get to the destination eventually. Like it's like, maybe I'll get on the boat and it'll be safe for a little bit. We're used to like a high pressure situation. So when we're together, we're so forgiving of the other person's peccadillos. It's, it's very easy to be like, Oh, please, this is better than home. Yeah.

No one hit, no one hit me. I too have an alpha wife and Mitch, you, you kind of have an alpha mom. I do have an alpha mom. That's true. And then someday that marriage will be legalized. The crystal fascistic takeover continues in America. And I think, do you think we're heading closer to that or further away? I think we're getting closer.

I think people are going to be like, now that you, now that, oh, if you could get gay married, you could get mommy married and it's like, no, you fucking sickos. Yeah. That'd be my guess. I mean, I'm not a good political forecaster anymore. A marriage only consists of a man and his mommy. Dude, you can't marry your dad. That's gay marriage, man.

That's your problem. I have not married my mom yet, but she's a great lady. I'm in her house currently. She keeps saying no. Make me the happiest son. Yes. Everything you guys were saying about being like collegial and calm and like, like getting along on, as you're shooting, that's completely opposite what Mitch and I experienced on tour.

Even after like all the pandemic, we're like, Hey, we can finally get out on the road again. I feel like we were just as feisty with each other. I remember the first time I saw you after the pandemic, you weren't looking at me and you went, Hey, buddy. And you just like, we didn't hug. We didn't embrace. You didn't touch me. I don't know the rules there.

I'll see somebody, you know, like, like give them a wave because like, are we shaking hands? Are we hugging? What are people doing for touch? I don't fucking know. Well, I mean, I hate to do this, but you guys are both just white, right? Yeah. Yeah. All right.

I don't even get what that was, but I got no, no further questions. Weigar, I know you have a lovely alpha wife and that's what inspired me to also get the spicy chicken. So spoiler alert, I've had four Burger King chicken sandwiches in the last three long boys. One chicken, two whoppers and some nuts and sticks. You always do your job. Well, Nellie likes that the deluxe spicy chicken.

What did you think of that? I, I, I like, I like the chicken. I like the chicken. I'm on the record is thinking the Burger King chicken sandwiches are good, but like Adam said, maybe not needed. The long boy maybe does a trick like a, and I, I tried to get, when I was there, I tried to get the, I don't know if you guys saw this, but there's a crispy chicken junior croissant. There's like a long boy basically on a croissant.

Is on the breakfast menu. I think it's maybe a shorter, like a smaller, no, it's not. It's not on the breakfast menu. It's just, it's just on a croissant because there was a whopper junior croissant. There's a picture of it. You know, I, I, putting a, putting a, a chicken breast on a, like a croissant is never a great, like, there's a hole in it. Transport.

It's like a bagel. Protein, you know, it's like, it's like flaky and flimsy and it's a little too greasy too sometimes. Yeah. A little too buttery. But I love it for that reason. Cause it like, it joins the, your, your, whatever you're sandwiching, it like joins it in a weird way.

But I, I think it doesn't hit on all stuffings. Like I love a croissant, which for breakfast, which I think a Burger King, that used to be one of my favorites, the Burger King croissant, which that back in the day after karate on a Sunday. Ooh, go to the Burger King and fucking want to a walkway. As the king, like, has that stuff become like the lore of the Burger King versus Wendy or Ronald and the Hamburglar. Like it feels like the, it feels like the king's a little lost.

The king is gone. Yeah. Basically. Well, Ronald is also, they've, they've retconned a bunch of, I mean, not retconned, but they've just got rid of Ronald McDonald has gone. Wendy has survived. He can, he can add a Jared situation. They're like, uh, yeah, let's bury this history.

Yeah. Ronald was working on Long Island teaching computers and, uh, with his son and performing at kids' birthday party, you should not see capturing the McDonald's. Ronald had like pictures of fry guys, little fry guys on his computer. Um, I, Ronald, Ronald, We're all chill with the Hamburglar. It's a property crime and white collar. Yeah.

He's fine. So Ronald is gone and they, they kind of just brought grimace back for like, but it was for throwback reasons. Wendy has survived. By the way, Dano and I think Wendy's is slipping a little bit and we love, we're big friends. It is slipping a little bit. Yeah. It's slipping a little bit.

But, uh, Burger King was like, you know, that, that the mascot was weird. They had the weird mascot for a while and then they turned him into a hunk and now he just seems to be gone from advertising. It, it, it, he's just, it seems like he's a, he's no longer around. I, look, Of course the BK kids club has kind of been, you know, that's been, could be varied as well. And that was like a, that was a fun part of their lore, at least when I was growing

up. Yeah. That was like the version of the happy meal. Yeah. Yeah. Nick, did, did you want to be Kid Viz? Uh, yeah. Kid Vid, I thought was the coolest.

Kid Vid, I thought was the coolest. And then there was Jaws who was like the little language kid. He was cool too. Yeah. Yeah. Wheels. Uh, we actually, the guy in the wheelchair, not cool, the guy in the wheelchair and then there's a dog.

They shouldn't have had him. Could they, could they have called him, could they have called him Brad? Oh, I was saying it's not cool that they allowed him in the Burger King. It's cool. I know. Both things were not, then they let him in and they're like, you can be in, but we're going to, we're going to, you're going to be known by your disability. By the way, Jaws, Jaws is actually like the tall kid.

The language kid was lingo. Lingo. We're thinking of lingo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then of course boomer and snaps. Right.

Yeah. That's how you do a kid. Right. Uh, he's vaguely ethnic. There was an athletic kid. Right. There's a jock kid. That's Jaws.

Yeah. That is Jaws. Yeah. Yeah. And then IQ is the nerd. Sadly, Gabriel, we did a whole double on this. We've talked about each character. We ranked.

I think, I believe we ranked them. There they are. We can see them all here on the screen. Yeah. Which one was Slurp? Dude, boomer was fucking. Boomer was hot, dude. She looks just like my mom.

Boomer was hot, but she could hang with the dude. She had that football jersey on. Dude, I always love that, man. When a chick can talk to guys. That's so fucking cool, man. So hot. So hot. When chicks watch the same shows as the dudes and they can talk about the office together

and get the comedy in it, dude. You gotta meet my, you gotta meet my bro. My brother's wife is a fucking Patriots fan. Who is that? I need one. I need one like her. You know what else is a Patriots fan? My mother is a Patriots fan.

Oh, well, we know the wedding theme. No nightshades. And peaking. That is one of the, the no nightshades thing does get me mad. I was just going to go back to the fact of I like a breakfast bagel sandwich, but I don't like to get, I don't like to have much other sandwiches on bagels. Like I don't, I don't need a, and that's what you, when you were talking about the croissant, the croissant thing,

I don't need a lot of stuff. I like a breakfast sandwich on a croissant and then I don't need much else on the croissant. But do you like, like when you say a breakfast sandwich, like, are you saying like, do you like, you like an egg and cheese on a bagel? Egg and cheese on a bagel or egg and cheese on a croissant? Like, or I like, You know, like locks and whitefish on a bagel too. That obviously.

Yeah. And you know, what I, what I've been doing lately, cause I just, I, once a Jew goes over 35, they have to start ordering this, but I, I've been doing a pumpernickel bagel with tuna and egg salad. I love that. Wow. Actually, that's. And then you play 90 minutes of racquetball at the Upper East Side.

Why? If Daniela lets me. I, I, I eat a bagel sandwich, half tuna, half egg salad, then close talk my nephews. Don't forget my hazelnut coffee. Hot coffee breath is like such a adult thing from a kid when you're, you're like, uncle is just like, Jonathan. You're like, Oh my God, your fucking mouth.

It stinks. Uncle Pat. Sorry. Uncle. Cause it also, it brings, it brings, it brings up also other food that you've had in the day. So it's like, right. It's hot coffee and then whatever you ate before that.

But Pali, I was, I was, I was. Yeah, go ahead. Sorry. I was just going to say before that, no, no, no, I want, I want you to get to that. I was just going to say before you said that I was going to poo, poo any non-breakfast sandwiches on bagels, but you turned it around on me.

I think you're right. The tuna salad works. Premo. Well, there's like certain, there is a certain like bagel bagels are versatile in that way because like you can also like take out the filling of it and put a little veggie cream cheese in there. And then you're almost at it. Is it, is this just a snack?

Yeah. Is this even a sandwich? Right. Is this even a sandwich, you know? I would love to classify bagels as snacks. It would be great for me. Yeah. That way when I have a baker's dozen to the dome,

no one thinks of it. I do. That's like, my bagel order is at least two and a half bagels. I mean, I love that. I'm two bagels. I need a bagel and locks, bagel and locks. And then my tuna mix.

And then if like one, if my kids didn't finish theirs often, I'll throw that down. I love it. My go-to is a bacon egg and cheese with turkey, pepper and ketchup on a, on a sweet bagel. And then my other is an everything bagel with a veggie cream cheese, and white fish,

no onion cucumber or capers for me though. But those are my two bagels. I eat both of those, drink a cold brew and then just choke on my puke and die. I can also like, I've been known to throw down a salt bagel. I love a salt bagel. Oh man.

With just like a deep spread of cream cheese. I've also been known to do everything. 100%. And everything. I love it. Everything. Like bacon egg and cheese pressed. You ask them to just like throw it on the grill after they put it

together, press it down a little bit almost like a panini. I love that. I didn't even know that was an option. The, the, the, just, just real quick, my go-to bagel was a, was a salt, or still is a salt bagel with plain spread. Like I'll just do,

I'll just do that. That's the most obvious. Wiger order. If you, if you, only answers I could have understood was salt with plain cream cheese or plain bagel with butter would have been the only two things I would have believed are Wiger's favorite bagels. But I love a plain bagel with butter.

Like if someone gives you like a fresh bagel with butter, it's like, it's a great thing ever. An egg bagel with butter was my, as a kid was, I would melt the butter. So it would sit in like pools on the fucking bagel and just be like, Yeah.

Man. I'm from Long Island. We would get bagels every weekend. And then we would try to get them the last as long into the school week as possible, but we couldn't get more until the circular. Exactly. My mom wouldn't get more until the fucking weekend circular came with the coupons like buy 12, get six free.

My mom has never paid for 12 bagels straight up in the 40 years she's been buying bagels that I've seen. She's never paid straight price for 12 bagels. It's always like, they do get three free here at Belmore cafe afternoon. And she like knows all the deals around Long Island. Uh, Mrs. gamers.

That's a jumpster. Yeah. She's the cheapest bagel in town. I do toasting white with butter. That was my big one when I was over chopped up toasting white, but I cut both of you off to talk about bagels. You both were going to say something and I cut both of you off. Or maybe you don't remember anymore.

Something about basketball coach was mentioned. Oh, I was, I think I said, I had a basketball coach. I remember distinctly like who our practices were so early on the weekends, like seven AM on the weekends and he would roll up with last night's cigar, kind of like the end of it smoking and a hazelnut coffee. And that mix is such poison. The smell is such poison of an old cigar and hazelnut black coffee from like, Duncan.

Such a horror of visceral. Oh yeah. He's a great dude. His son. He was like, everybody run and laugh. Put my little boy Joey. Now you're not going to tell your, you're not going to tell your mother about this cigar.

Your joke. Come on. His mom gives me a hard time because he doesn't like to run. Gators, what were you going to say? Cut you off too. Now I was going to say, I don't want to take the show down a dark path, but you said Wendy's has been slipping lately and something Adam and I,

that came up in conversation at Burger King today was now we were at a specific Burger King. We're at the Sunset and La Brea Burger King, but it felt like Burger King was slipping. And then we got into the topic and it has fast food places in general. Cause I would imagine they're suffering from supply chain cause they have the most shit that they had the most output that they need to do. And like, you know, I'm sure pandemic ravaged their numbers and stuff,

but it just feels like all chains, the mega chains, especially took a day off and the whole vibe is off inside. And like, I feel like orders are messed up and stuff. I also think there's like a, like we were saying today, like just the speed, what was attractive about fast food was the speed and the, the like you roll up and the value and the value, you're sacrificing taste and yeah. So now it's expensive and on top of that, it's slow.

So you really are like, you could have in that, in that shopping center that we were in today at Sunset, like there were three other restaurants that you probably could have gotten the same value, same money and faster. Yeah. You could have got like a homemade ramen at least, you know, you could have gotten like for the 13 bucks that it cost for my sandwich. I mean, you're getting the impossible, the Southwest impossible whopper.

It's going to cost you about, yeah, over $10 basically. Yeah. That's not a, if you, if you were like, I'm going to go grab Southwestern whoppers for everybody. And you were hanging out with like six buds and you dropped $70 on fucking Burger King. You'd be like, what the fuck is going on? Like, I know there's no reason there should be a dollar menu anymore.

That was insane that there's no, nothing can cost a dollar that would, human beings should want to eat from a fast food menu. But we used to have dollar menus and now it's like, you can't find anything. It's like the value meal is $5 for a, for a burger they've invented. That's like the, it's the whopper, the third. It's the junior son and it's the size of a nickel and it costs four bucks. But I think it's flattened. It's flattened the market too.

Because like I, again, like if you are on a budget and you're scraping it together and your go-to was that you could get four burgers for 10 bucks at Burger King, you can't anymore. So you like, I would go to a different place because you know what I mean? I would just be like, was there a place I could get more for faster for less? Yeah. I think that's why Little Caesars is thriving because they still got the $5 hot and ready.

And that's still like what pretty much the best value if you want to feed a family on a budget. I mean, it's a quality size. Taco Bell, Taco Bell is pretty well, I think too. But yeah, I agree. I mean like my combo, I just double-checked the photo of the receipt was $13.99. That's the same. That's for a market whopper.

A drink and a medium size drink. A drink and a medium size drink. The drink is free basically. If you think about a drink and a value menu, that costs that place nothing. That's their big money maker is like charging you on that shit. Yeah. But then the fries as well, like they're bought in bulk and they last forever. I mean, they're backed up with fries.

These places have like frozen fries for weeks. Which I think BK's fries have gotten better again. Look, I think they're past McDonald's. I think Burger King fries are now better than McDonald's. Wow. I think I had nostalgia sitting in my brain for McDonald's fries too. Because those were my favorite growing up. But I think Burger King has just like a slightly more girth to it.

And it just hits a little. And maybe my taste profile is shit. Yeah, I'm jealous of the Burger King. Did you get that? I got the cheesy tots, which I thought were going to be one thing, but we're just mozzarella sticks. And I was jealous of those one and a half. No, you probably got the mozzarella sticks by accident because they do have cheesy tots

and they also have mozzarella sticks in the menu. So whoops. Probably gave you the wrong thing. Yeah. Burger King's been doing mod sticks for a good, a good long time. Yeah. Burger King's been on mod sticks for a good long time. Yeah.

I threw a couple on a whopper. They have, they have jalapeno bites. They have mozzarella sticks and they have cheesy tots. The cheesy tots were out when I went there. I went with the other two because I think I reviewed them the last time we did this. I have size envy from all of those, those three, all three of those items gives me size envy. But the cheesy tots were good. The last time I had them, they were really good.

The fries, I think have gotten better. And then Adam, you brought up the onion rings. So let's break down what we got quickly. We got to get to our final thoughts, Mitch. We're going way long. We're going too long. Here's what I'll say. We can sum those up in our final thoughts.

Here's what I'll say real quick. You guys were seamlessly together. You guys are just yin and yang. It's a true partnership. It's like water just, whoa. He's nervous. He's nervous. This is our chemistry.

He's trying to do it fast. He's in rush mode. We guess gave us a time where they wanted to be out of here. Now Adam is playing the drums. Now you're making me be the bad guy. No, Mitch is the bad guy. Double base, double base. Was this rushes like first tour wags that you caught?

Yeah. Okay. I'm not that old. Two years old. Today's I'm so I'm mean, mean, bro. This is a very funny voice and most annoying voice in rock and roll. In a very funny first concert. How old were you wags?

12. Jesus. I was offered a marijuana cigarette. I turned it down. Marijuana cigarette. Getty Lee looks like John Lennon after he had his brains blown out. I don't agree with Gabriel's take on, on Burger King's fries being better than McDonald's, but I do think their onion rings are great.

And that was, that was the side I went with. This is what I got to say to talking about at the rodeo burger that I'm brought up is that the onion rings, I got a small onion ring as well wags and the onion rings are also, they're not, not only do I love them and they are like very battered. And so I can get people not like them, but they, but they hold up, they hold up in those sandwiches and that's a big part of it. Should we get to final thoughts? All right, we're going to get to our final thoughts.

So say everything you got in the order and how you feel. And then yeah, wags, whatever, whatever you're going to say. Thanks, Mitch. Any, anything that you've missed, feel free to recap and, and, and by giving it a score from zero to five forks. So veteran of the podcast, 26 appearances now, give us your thoughts and give us your fork score. Okay.

So Burger King, I had it twice. I have really studied this place. I had the Southwest Whopper two ways, impossible and not impossible or possible, I guess is the other one. I guess beef is the way to say that the easiest. And then I, you know, I had three long boys and a chicken over the course of those two. And, and I'll say Burger King, it impressed me, but I came in expecting hot garbage and I forgot it's been a long time since I had a long boy.

I think the Vegas airport one morning when I was like dying was the last time I had a long boy. So having the long boy revitalized my love for Burger King, the Whopper kind of fucking let me down a little bit. The Southwest Whopper in particular. We didn't talk about it too much, but the one positive that thing has in its corner is if you're a texture person, I would say try it because it's got chips, cold avocado spread, spicy sauce, onions, tomato, lettuce, beef and bacon.

It's got like 40 different textures in there. And I'm not saying that makes it good. I'm just saying if you're a person who's just a texture chaser, you sick fuck. I would say recommended two and a half forks. Wow. Two and a half forks. Two and a half forks. Sorry Burger King, but Jesus Christ.

All right, Adam, your thoughts, your fork score. I had the impossible Southwest burger without bacon and a large fry and a Diet Coke and a DC. And I would give the whole experience half a fork. Fuck. I thought the burger was vomit. I thought the guacamole was odd. No, no need to put tomatoes on top of the sandwich when the guacamole contains tomatoes.

Yes, that was a lot dude. That was weird. Weird. It was like no one was paying attention to what they were putting in. It was like someone was filling out a chart and just pick C down the whole middle of their contest. This is Regicide Wags. The chips were sharp and cut my mouth.

No need. No need. Like the term Southwest is being thrown around willy nilly. It's just a kind of a mess. The fries were the only thing fork worthy and I do agree they are the best fries in the fast food. Wow. Yeah.

Universe right now. But then the Diet Coke was flat. Mix in the fear of my life at the sunset and Lebray location. We ate standing outside in the shade because inside was a person in a security guard uniform who was the most unsettling person I've been around in a while. And he was dressed like, I think he was the security guard and I was like, we got to get out. And I was like, can we eat outside?

I was like, yeah, dude, let's go. Someone offered me COVID. That's how dicey it was. Oh, and it took like 15 minutes for our order, which was a long boy and two whoppers. But and then I will say the seeing the long boy because Gabriel's ordered it, it made me regret that I had to eat this sandwich and that I couldn't spend the like one, two times a year I go to Burger King on a long boy. You know?

Yeah. Yeah. So that's why I, that's why I jammed in, that's why I jammed in three in four days. It's half a fork. Okay. It's our fault. No, no, no. I don't know if they will.

No. I don't think they will. I don't give it. I want to make this clear. It's the side of the fork with the prongs. Oh, the other end. No time. Broken off.

It's the flat side. So you have to. The blunt end. Jimmy it up. You have to jimmy it up for yourself because you're not going back in. I will say that I could make that work if I was given a meal just that fork end of the fork. I think I could make it work.

Especially if the place you came from was the Sunset and La Brea Burger King. I think that I'll say this, I'll start my review by saying that I think that if I took you guys to a Valley Burger King, the Back to the Future Burger King or a place up near the New Burger King airport, I think that you would enjoy it much more. I, well, as we say, BK is back clearly. Yeah. Not a great episode for BK. So far, but we haven't gotten to the guys who say it's back.

I'll say this. I think that this is a tough episode for BK because that Southwestern bacon whopper is not a home run. It's a dud. It's a dud. It's kind of a dud. I just wanted a whopper when I was eating it. I wish I had a whopper and I like the whopper, Gabriel, so I'm a fan of the whopper.

I think that BK has gotten better. I like the char broil taste. My memories of Burger King are like I had McDonald's as a little kid and then when I was like a tween to teenager, I started to go to Burger King and I liked that char broil taste and I liked sitting in the restaurant much like Wendy's. I used to love sitting in Wendy's and I loved Wendy's hamburgers and the spicy chicken, of course, but it was just a place I'd like to go in and sit and I like to smell them making the burgers.

Like even though I know it's manufactured, just the fact that you would be smelling fire on meat, it just, it just, it just, I love that. It reminds me of a barbecue or whatever. So I have a spot in my heart for Burger King, but it was that whopper was a dud. I ordered that crispy chicken junior croissant and the, and they gave it to me just on a bun. It was just a small chicken sandwich and it was, and I just wish I had the long boy. So it was a bummer that I had this little tiny chicken sandwich and it was, and it wasn't

great. And then also I got the small onion rings, which were fine. And then I also got a large coke and a large fries. I got my Whopper Meal Large. No need to do that. I was talking about how I've, I talked about how I have big tits earlier, but that's, I mean, like that's what I wanted. I wanted that nice experience.

But that's what the dough boys, that's your version of us drinking on the night off, on the drinking off camera. That's your version of like, you got, you're going to have to eat fast food again in another week, if not twice in this next week. And you're like, better have a large fry and soda today. You know what I mean? Like your, our brains are broken. It's hard not to revert to what we love in these moments.

It's an excuse. It's a big time excuse for me to just eat all this junk food. That's true. It's a lot of rationalizing, a lot of rationalizing over here. Even when Tiffany, Tiffany picked us up at the Burger King and she's like, you got it again with like the look of disgust in her face. And I was like, uh, yeah, I wanted to try the beef one. Like I was like, Oh no.

It is, I mean, I, I, I ate it. I brought it downstairs, not in front of my mom intentionally. She was at the kitchen table and I was like, I'm going to the basement and I went down to the basement and I ate multiple sandwiches because I didn't want her to see this. Uh, it's like, it's like putting a, like a gun in your mouth. I don't want my mom to see like the gun in my mouth, but, uh, I went downstairs and I ate, I went downstairs and I ate my whopper. I had some of that small chicken sandwich.

I also got a big King. The big King wasn't big wags. It was small, but it was the best bite of the night. It was the bite of the night for me. It was, uh, it was, it was like a double cheeseburger with onions and pickles and that big King sauce, but also bacon was just on it. I don't think bacon is on the big King ever, but bacon was just in there. Um, but, uh, they have a bacon King and they may have given you that by mistake.

They maybe gave me the bacon King. Yeah. That being said, I, that was like the nostalgia bite. I had that and I was like, this reminds me of going to Burger King back in the day. These two grilled patties with the cheese and it just tasted, it tasted great. And my whole order wasn't like that, but I had it in that moment. And for that reason, and also for one of the best desserts in the game, the Hershey's Pie Wags, which we had, which, which made noise in the tournament of champions when

we did desserts. Uh, I don't, I forget the dumb name for it. You'll probably know off the top of your eye. Pie Noon. Pie Noon. Um, that Hershey's Pie is really good. And so for that reason, I'm going three and a half forks for this visit. It was, uh, it was, it was much better than, than, than, uh, it was, it was much better

than, than, and look, you guys went to really bad Burger King. It is bad, bad, bad Burger King. I should have warned you beforehand. I posted the first time from a different one, which is post meeting fast food is a suicide note in and of itself, you know? Yeah. Uh, yeah. I used to work, I used to work at a lot not far from that Burger King.

And I'd go be in past guest, a friend of the show, Jordan Morris would go there for lunch some days when we, when we had a free lunch, when we had like a free, you know, the ability to go off site. And that, that walk, which was about a half a block long, I'd describe as apocalyptic. It's just like, this is just, this is just late capitalism, 2020, just like the world is failing. Um, and, uh, and so yeah, that's a grim Burger King. I went to a good Burger King.

I had a better experience than you guys. I think I had the best experience of everyone because I, I kept it simple. I kept it streamlined. I did not love my Whopper, but I still like the, the soul of the Whopper. Like I still liked like the bones, like the stuff that's in there, not the, not the additional shit that they throw in there. Well, not, not literal bones. He ate the bones.

I have to check in extra bones, please. Dude, he ate the bones. Look, I maintain BK is back. I still think that the, that BK is, is doing better work than a lot of chains. I do think they have recovered from the Nidir or Nader, as some people say it, I did like my chick, my long boy by my original chicken sandwich was fantastic. The onion rings were very good. I got an iced tea to completely solid.

The service was great there. Every place is under staff because no one wants to pay anyone. Uh, but, uh, but I, I don't think this was, this visit was as good as recent, uh, visits because the star of the show just wasn't up to snuff. We are, we are exiting the golden plate club for Burger King, which Mitch, it was in last, uh, last time we did it, which was a year ago. If you can believe this a year ago with Sam Richardson, episode 307 of this fucking dog shit podcast that was one year ago.

We've done 52 more episodes since then. We're like Burger King at its Nader or Nader year. Yeah. In that it's, uh, upsetting an election in some capacity, uh, uh, you hear that Pally? It's your, your old co-star and now your new co-star. Look at that. How about that? Hopefully the shows will not have equal fakes.

Yeah. We'll be back for season two of a hundred and one. Well, you take us to that good, uh, Burger King and we'll sit on your lap and eat the Hershey's pie. We're going to need to pick a booth. I think we need to pick a booth. Jurassic Park. One final thing I'll say, which is that, uh, and, and another data point in terms of

BK being back, I'll gauge Natalie's interest, my alpha wife on, on what she wants to have an alpha brother and alpha wife. I'm just realizing my alpha wife, like, you got a real alpha brother, Nate Wiley is a man. Total alpha. Anyway, the, uh, the, like, I'll gauge her interest on going to these trips. So we're like, I have to eat at this place or I get to eat at this place for the podcast and like, for instance, next week's chain, which I won't reveal, but which we talk about

a week from now. I asked if she wanted anything and she said zero out of 10 interest, but for Burger King, she was like, hmm, I could do Burger King. And then she ended up falling asleep so they didn't get her anything, but she was like into it. And so it is like, I think we're talking to her, she just fell asleep while you were talking to her. Did you show her that Rodney King short film you had?

Yeah. Look at this. Made this in college. Uh, I'll give this, I'll give this four forks. I still think this belongs in the golden plate club if by the narrow margins, uh, we'll take a break. We'll be right back with more dough boys. Welcome back to dough boys.

Our guests host the new true TV shows, 101 places to party before you die. Premiering July 14th. That's tonight. John Gabriel's Adam Palli. And hey, it's time for a segment. We're going to decide what our guest final bites on earth would be in last meal. Gabriel's Palli. You've been sentenced to death.

That's right. That's right. You guys have been sentenced to death. The year is a 2035 and so soon you got, you got me living longer than my psychic said. So I'm in. You have visited all 101 places to visit before you die parties. Fuck you visited all the one you got it. You got what I'm saying.

You visited all 101 places to party at, but you didn't read in your contract that you must die. Oh no. That's right. By rule. You must die. Yes. Lev Ginsburg.

We can believe that if we need to put in your contract that you must die after the 101st place. Adam Conover is going to execute all of you. Adam Conover is going to ruin your life. Adam Comover is going to ruin your life. He's going to execute the both of you. You have one last meal. What do you choose?

Oh, why is Conover because of the true TV connection? Yeah. Yeah. Because it used to be untrue. It should be Sal Volcano cutting our heads off or whatever, but I'll tell you this. I'll do a Southwestern Whopper last meal because that's your choice. No, no, no. My last meal is a chicken club from my hero, no tomato, chicken colored bacon, white American

lettuce and mayo on a hero, cider, hot sauce for dip and crystal if I'm choosing everything. And then, wow, what a drink for my last meal. I think I would go with chocolate milk, which is in battle. Chocolate milk. Yeah. That seems like a serial killer's last drink. I know. I know what I'm going out for.

And then when in that chain of events do you wipe the clown makeup off? It doesn't matter because that's all part of it because I'll come the second they turn the chair on. I just want people to see all that. Jesus. A bag under your... The chocolate milk makes me think of Timothy McVeigh's last meal at Oklahoma City Bomber was two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Oh, that's not a bad choice. Two pints? Yeah. But two pints. That's almost like an intentional fuck you to the people who have to clean that chair. Yeah. Seeping out. That's one last, one last package.

At least it's minty. Oh, he blew up the execution room. There's not a room he wouldn't explode into. Well, I love we're hitting the 90s crime big today. Let's do Amy Fisher next. What is this? Calhoun High School in 97? Come on.

We all did Amy Fisher. Come on. I remember one of the Amy Fisher TV movies I watched and I remember it was like she was in the car with a guy that she was going to get to kill Mary Jo Butterfoucault and the guy's like, I'm not going to do it. She's like, I gave you all that free sex to kill Mary Jo. I just remembered that line. Which one did you see?

Because there's an Alyssa Milano one. Drew Barrymore one. Drew Barrymore played Amy Fisher, right? I think it was the Alyssa Milano one. I think it was the Milano one. Which one did Andy Dick play Mary Jo Butterfoucault? He played her only in the third act of the movie. Andy Dick showed up to a screening that I was at of I saw a guy who cut together the

three different Amy Fisher made for TV movies. He cut them all together into like one big art piece. And when the movie wrapped, I was hosting the Q&A with shout out Elliot Glazer and Andy Dick was smoking a bowl in the back in the back row of the fucking Alamo draft house. They were trying to get in the lease. Of course. That's kind of I said.

I said Andy Dick story always ends with that line. You can choose anything, Adam. Anything from the past, present, future, any meal that you can make. Part of me wants to say like a four hour tasting menu from like, I don't know, some plate like some like Alina in Chicago or something that's like the finest food. And it'll take the longest. So I'll have the most time to live. And then part of me also wants to say like, it doesn't matter a full cheese pizza from

anywhere in New York. I don't give a shit because I also eat that too. But I think that like the place, the pizza place, if you have, if you could choose a pizza place, honestly, I like this place called upside pizza. That's like on 38th and ninth. It's like, it's like Port Authority style pizza. But like, it's so cheesy and crispy and good. It's like, but I think the place I would go for a last meal for my, I think I know that

I would request a full caviar tasting bar at the Russian tea room with, with a martini ice cold martini and I'd show up in a tux and then just shoot me in the face. Well, good news, Adam and Gabriel's, because before you could get shot in the face, they're set up to execute you. But the impractical jokers, they, they are, they're the one, they, they set it up there in the back. It was all an impractical joke. Conover was in on it.

Conover was in on it. Oh, that's fun. Lev was in on it. Oh, Lev. I mean. Not Lev. Man, we were, we were joked impractically. Consider us burn.

And that is, like I told you, a very bad segment is now wrapped. That was last meal. Ah, my last meal would be cyanide. Just couldn't keep them confused. Still electrocuted, please. It brings me back and I come back to life when they electrocute me. And that was my trick. And I'm like, can't arrest me again.

Double jeopardy. Kick it through it twice. Meanwhile, they're just like, thang, thang. I'm completely dead again. The impractical jokers. John Dickerson on, on the state political gab fest, uh, told a story of a, of a execution in the 19th century where this guy, I talked about this podcast before, Mitch, and I might get the details wrong, but this guy tried to kill himself by drinking poison and a bunch

of whiskey, like the night before his execution by hanging. Uh, and they found him and they resuscitated him. They were like, no, no, no. Cause he was going to die. And they were like, no, no, no. And they resuscitated him and fucking hanged him. Jesus Christ. Nightmare.

Nightmare. Wake up. Wake up. It's time to go to sleep. Yeah. Weigar is rock hard right now. Two deaths in 24 hours. I'm sorry.

I forgot. What was that, a book you're writing, Mitch? That's his past life. That's who he was. I didn't know what that story was from. A script you have, right? I'm sorry. It's a, uh, it was, it was a real incident.

I just, I don't remember what the, I don't remember the details. I had it better on my previous, uh, the previous. What are we talking about? A page from your dream journal? Just like a restaurant by your feedback. Let's up to the feedback. And today we have an email from Evan R. Evan writes. I recently got back from my honeymoon to Italy with my lovely wife, Lauren.

Congratulations. Uh, Evan and Lauren and had a lot of amazing food. I want to know if you could travel to any country in the world to experience their cuisine in person in an authentic setting. Where would you go? Wow. Hmm. Okay.

I have my answer locked and loaded so I could jump in there first. I've never been to Japan and I love, love Japanese food. And so I would love, and I mean, there's so many cuisines even underneath that under Japanese food that I would love to get down on like ramen sushi, like all that stuff that I love, uh, the yakitori, like I love all that shit. So I'll go, I'll go, I'll choose Japan and I'll need like three months to eat everything I want to eat there. I'm going to go ahead and, and, and, and I'll, I'll remora off of your answer

there, Gabriel because I like, I've never crossed the notion. I'm not well traveled. I've been to Canada for dough boys and then I've been to Mexico as a kid for Boy Scouts. Um, and, uh, and so like I haven't, and family vacation went to, went to Mexico. So I, I haven't been, I've never crossed the notion, but I think if I was going to go with someplace, yeah, I'd want to go to, I want to go to Japan.

For sure. I'd want to try. So I want to try the, uh, uh, the gyro or gyro gyro sushi place. Yeah. I'd love to try that. Why not? Both of my answers. But also I would say the other, the other.

They have the same answer. They have the same answer. But the other one specifically year I was going to go on. I was also going to, I was also going to shout out Vietnam and maybe do that in the same trip because, because I fucking love Vietnamese food. I'll show me all the best places. That was my coin flip between places because if it was just for food, it's Japan.

If it's for food and other stuff, I want to choose Vietnam because I love beaches. So beaches and street food are like two of my favorite things in the world. So I want to go to Vietnam too. Hey, wise you take Euro. Maybe I'll take a year O in, in Greece. Maybe I get an authentic year O in Greece.

Well done. That's not my answer, but I thought that it worked pretty well. It was a good segue. Yeah. It was a good segue to not your answer. Thank you. I would have dinner in Russia with Mr. Putin and talk some sense into him.

How's that for me? Yum. Maybe invite his mom, scold him for not raising him right. If I was your brother, if you were a guest on my podcast, I would have to say that. I'll go with you, Ben. Sure. You were in Texas.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Mitch, Mrs. Mitchell. Putin and Mrs. Putin sit down for a Teta Tet over Tavern pizza. He could have some goulash in the gulag for all I care. Why?

How do you, what do you think of that? Thank you. More world play. Um, look. My answer was truly the first thing I thought of was Euro in Japan. They just like make a meal just for you in the, like you, it's just basically you in the restaurant and they're like serving you

like a multi-course dinner and it's fantastic. And I, so something like that is my real answer. Jack Allison's life is incomprehensible to me. How he has all these amazing experiences. Like it's just like, I like, like what is, I just don't know how he, how he puts it all together. He goes on trips. You can go on a trip.

He goes on trips. Just go on a trip. You can do it. You can go anywhere. No, I guess not. Okay. I have the option. I guess Nick and I are going to Japan together.

Just the two of us. It'll be fun. Come with the Quincy crew. We were going to go. We'll go again. You can come. No fucking thanks. I was saying it to Wags,

but I mean, you were forced invited. You go Wags. You go with fucking Rambo. The Quincy crew. That's the name. Yeah. Scoop. Wu Tang.

I guess two words. Why I can't Brittany Griner. I think besides that, I just say like anytime I've been in Italy, just every restaurant. When I went with the Quincy crew, just any restaurant I went to there was just amazing. Yeah.

So yeah, that's it. Adam, a place you've never been that you, that you'd want to go to for the, for just for the food. Luckily enough, I've been to Japan. I didn't have the Euro sushi, but I did have like, I don't know, I don't know,

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Sushi, but I did have like really great sushi. And I had one of my favorite best meals ever was at the park Hyatt,

where they shot that Lawson translation scene. They have this like unbelievable wagyu kind of like steakhouse there. So I've been, I've like had that experience where I'm like, this is the greatest country and greatest food, greatest place on earth. If I had to like say,

like you said, a place I've never been, I love tacos. I like really, really, especially like the small kind of out here that like, you know, corn tortilla once.

Yeah. Corn tortilla, small amazing ingredient, two bite taco kind of situation. And I feel like Mexico city is kind of a place that I've never been, that I could gain like 30 pounds in real quick. Yeah. Adam,

I have this spot for you. It's called Bujo. And I went there and it was, and it's like this taco tasting menu. You match it with mezcal and it's fucking great. No, you just speak in his language. Oh, that sounds amazing.

That sounds like, it's something I dreamed of. That's a different dream. That's one of the best meals I've ever had. Yeah, I would throw out for you, Adam, a recco would be, I don't, you haven't been to Barcelona, right?

I have been to Barcelona, I did. You haven't been to Barcelona because that's like, that's in your wheelhouse too, that's your, the place to find your roads. No, I did Barcelona. And you know what Barcelona,

the thing, and the thing that I would again like possibly the last meal is just like, place in Barcelona with bread, butter, and anchovies. Yeah, bread,

butter, that pan con tomate, the bread and tomato paste that they put on top of all your drink. Oh my God. They get for free at every bar. You love it. If you like walking and consumption,

Barcelona is an amazing place to visit. Yeah, Barcelona is really fun. And they have weed clubs. Yeah, I would hit one. They have weed clubs. That was awesome. Yeah,

but Mexico City is a place that I've never been that I, that I've heard from people is like a really fun place to go. And I feel like I would, that's a place that we would, we should put on season two. Yeah, that's in my wheel. That's in my like bucket list spots too.

So let's definitely get it on season two. Go to Pujol. We will. Awesome. We'll bring you buddy. We'll bring you guys. Hell yeah. We'll be like,

Hey, we're in Mexico City. So we brought two more white guys. We're going in. Maybe we'll just send you. Yeah, you just go in. By the way, what was he whispering to her at the end of loss and translation?

What was, what was Mari whispering to her? Well, I don't think we want to know based on the new movie. Yeah, I was just going to say, maybe it has something to do with consent. I'm sure,

I'm sure Sophia got muted it on after the fact. What was the line? What was the line? Or what did Bill say? I know the, I know, I know, I know one of them,

but anyways, let's end the show. That was, before I get in trouble. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at dowboyspodcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail,

830 Godot, that's 830-463-6844. And to get the dowboys double or weekly bonus episode, you can join the golden or platinum play club at patreon.com slash dowboys. Gabor sent it to the chat. Adam Pally. Gabor sent the,

what it was to the chat. He sent it to the chat. I posted what I heard Bill Murray said. I'll not say no. Yeah. I heard the same thing. I heard the same thing. Yeah.

We've all heard this. I don't know if I heard it from you. I think I heard it from a third party. Maybe I heard it from you then. First of all, he said it to me, he said it to me and it wasn't as eloquent. 101 places to party before you die.

It's on true TV. Tell us about the show. Tell us some of the places you're going and why people should check it out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And why people should check it out. We go to Moab, Maui, Portland, Miami, Richmond, Atlanta, and San Juan, Puerto Rico. And it's a lot of, it's just, we're traveling the way we travel in real life,

which is chasing experiences, going to good restaurants, getting loaded, and also doing bits the entire time. To the detriment of other people's enjoyment of stuff. But we're having a lot of fun. Hopefully viewers will as well. Did I answer all six questions? I think so. Yeah.

No, I think absolutely. We're very excited about it. We're very excited. Congrats to both of you. Two of the funniest dudes. This is, and I don't know if this is what you were going for when you created the show and made the show. But it feels like it's since Insomniac is the last show where it's like,

this is a travel show. It's also like a comedy show. Yeah. And it feels like there's, there's such a void of that. So I think it's awesome that it's out there and hope people check it out. 101 places to party before you die on true TV right after the impractical jokers. As a matter of fact, tonight's episode of jokers is with me and Adam as well.

So if you're, Oh hell yeah. Get a double dose. And thank you guys so much for, for having us on. It really means a lot. It's, it's a, this is like a big deal. You were, you were, you were long overdue. Also being on impractical jokers is like you are as famous as like a K-pop band.

That's like the most like, that's like, that's like insane how huge it is. My parent, My family is more excited about me being on jokers than anything else. Like everyone is, Our own show. Yeah. Our own show existing. People are more excited about jokers.

And maybe we should be too. I didn't really get to, I didn't really get to tell you about prehistoric plan, but we can save that for now. Now we have an idea for a double. Yeah. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Mike Weigher.

Happy eating. See ya. Want more Doe Boys? Check out the DoeScored, our Discord server. You get DoeScored access plus the Doe Boys double when you join the Platinum Play Club at patreon.com slash Doe Boys. That's patreon.com slash Doe Boys. Want to see the sources for this week's intro?

Check the episode description. That was a headgum podcast.