Doughboys - Cafe Gratitude with Bryan Quinby

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

Bryan Quinby (@murderxbryan, Guys) joins the 'boys to talk Taco Bell chili cheese burritos, Columbus-style pizza, and favorite bodily functions before a review of Cafe Gratitude. Plus, another edition of Jingle All The Whey.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash doughboysmedia. There is a disturbance in the force. So began a lengthy Facebook post dated April 23rd, 2016 by the musician Moby, addressing this shocking revelation that Matthew and Terce's Ingleheart, the husband and wife owners of a Bay Area-based vegan chain, were secretly raising their own cattle for milk as well as slaughtering them

for meat. At the time, Moby himself was a plant-based restaurateur, owning Silver Lake Vegan Bistro Little Pine, which he assured his audience wasn't just cynical opportunism, as he added in his post, quote, I'm a vegan for life. The Ingle hearts, meanwhile, represent in microcosm the larger transformation of the health and wellness demographic from plant based to just based Pokemon evolving from crunchy granola yoga practitioners to Trump voting Talo evangelists and their eerie a 2010 sensation and moneyed liberal enclaves San Francisco and Los Angeles, drawing celebrity diners like Anne Hathaway, Orlando Bloom,

and Beyonce featuring Jay-Z, has had other brushes with controversy, with labor violations like forcing their employees to take paid classes with Landmark Worldwide, a new religious movement that's legalese for cult. The restaurant is a self-proclaimed practitioner of quote, sacred commerce, and is infamous for their cringe affirmational menu item names such as I am energetic, I am together, and I am glorious. A kale salad, chips and

guac, and a Caesar wrap respectively. Today the mix of controversy and the entry of even more obnoxious and overpriced options into the wellness space has led to the Engelhardt's chain shrinking to just two locations. Meanwhile Matthew Engelhardt chain shrinking to just two locations. Meanwhile, Matthew Engelhart had his own batshit Facebook post defending he and his wife's carnivorous conversion, reading in part, quote, as in the passion of Christ, we all have to spill our blood for humanity to know the father. The cow sacrifice has been ordained. Ours we must choose. Whatever your stance on eating animal products, we can all agree,

these kind of people are the fucking worst. This week on Doughboys, I am annoyed as we review Cafe Gratitude. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger along with my co-host El Chalupa Cabra, the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell. That's fun. Is it? El Chupa Cabra, but a Chalupa. Nice little portmanteau. Maybe I'm in a bad mood today, but I don't know. El Chalupa Cabra.

I don't know if I like it. Well, you're definitely not gonna like it after I read the email that was sent in. A take on the famous goat sucker in light of Mitch's Brady fluffing, Kurt R. Roastatbirdfuck.com. He's admitting that Brady's the goat. He's saying Brady's his goat,

he's also saying you suck him off. So? All right, you know, touché. Would you suck off Brady? I guess so. The golden boy, you got the golden hog in your mouth, you wouldn't do it? I guess you'd have to just so you could talk about doing it.

Yeah, that's one thing. Look, you talk about deflating stuff. It's one thing I wouldn't mind deflating. Brady's hog. Everyone knows once you get sucked off, your hog deflates. Yeah, you go back flaccid. That's usually the cycle. Mitch, we are frank banking this episode because our guest

is in town. His guest lives outside of LA. You can tell me never to date the episode. I just decided to do it. I'm doing it now, because we're in the midst of Munch Madness. But this is our first post-Munch Madness episode. This one that we'll release in the main feed.

This is, wow. Well, you're lucky you didn't take part of that bullshit on it. It sucks and it's bad. But congrats to the winner. Jersey Mike's. Yeah, congrats. I would have loved to winner, Jersey Mike's. Yeah, congrats. I would have loved to eat Jersey Mike's.

That would have been great. Yeah, we actually, we fucked you over. This is way worse than Jersey Mike's. Jersey Mike's also eliminated in the first round, so it would have to, there is fat chance kitchen. Yeah, actually we don't, we're at the point of the tournament, we don't know if there's a way to get back in, but maybe there will be.

I'm going to Arkansas this weekend. How fun is that? You ever been there before? Yeah, actually we don't, we're at the point of the tournament we don't know if there's a way to get back in, but maybe there will be. I'm going to Arkansas this weekend. How fun is that? You ever been there before? No, I've been. You have been to Arkansas though? That's nice. It's Bill Clinton. Yeah, no, I got it.

I was just trying to keep riffing with you. Yeah, well yeah, I've been there. I grew up there. Do you ever get up to any mischief down there? Because you know your reputation. I gave Little Rock to, what's his name? To who? Roger. To Roger Clinton, your brother?

Maybe Roger? No, not Roger. No, not Roger. Who's the guy who's the- The judge? The Lolita Express. Oh, Epstein? I gave Little Rock to Epstein. Oh, you shouldn't gift an entire capital of the state

to the notorious pedophile. He was interested because it was because the rock is little. Ha, this is a great segue. You know, what a great segue. We went up to Little Canada and we had a lovely time up there. And as part of our visit for Little Canada, we got littleized and it just so happens. Emma, did these come today? Yesterday?

These came last week to my house. They required a signature to be received, so I shipped them to myself. Got it. So these just came very recently since our last record. These are Little Weiger, Little Mitch, and Little Emma. I guess we could unbox these on the podcast. Yeah, give me a box.

Okay, here you go. I hope I get me. Yeah. So you and Weiger are together, and then I'm a solo character. Okay, here we go. There's a little care card in here, how to care for your little me.

Handle with care, your little me is very fragile. I got little Emma. Wow, it's great. They're so cute. Oh, you got Wigert and Mitch. As one unit, there we go. Oh, we're one unit. That's pretty good.

Mitch, that's pretty good. That's pretty damn good. Yeah. It's kind of cool. I love the fact that you're wearing your five forks hat, Mitch, and you can see the forks on your little hat. Wow. There's Emma right there.

I feel like you should hand Emma to Emma. There you go. She can sit back here. Look at this, Wags. We have new things for the tableau. I mean, this is great. Yeah. It's very nice.

They're very neat. The detail is very cool. Yeah, that's what it is. Oh, it has the print on our shorts. Yeah, the logo on your sleeve on your hoodie, Wagger, is completely there. I told you my mom would be mad at what I was wearing. She hates when I wear those camouflage shorts, but she'll

be unhappy when she sees this, but I like it. Michael, don't get little eyes in those shorts. Stop deflating Tom Brady's dick. I think those look great. Those are awesome. Wow. Thank you, Little Canada. Thank you, Little Canada. It will be placed somewhere in Little Canada. Somewhere in Little Canada, but yeah, again, just to shout it out,

we talked about this in Toronto, but if you're up in Toronto, if you're visiting, or if you live there, you haven't checked out Little Canada, it's a unique, wonderful spot. You know what, Mitch? Mitch or Wally to holler. That's what I was gonna say.

They're not really to scale with- I would love to have, if my- Giant Wally and Irma next to us. Look at that. I could ride Wally around, I feel like, if that was the case. They're like Battle Cat right there, with that size.

That fucking rules. They're like laser tigers from Dune. That rules. Also, how cool would it be if you could get little eyes with Wally and Irma sitting on your shoulder or something? That, I would fucking love it. I could get an ornament for my mom and sister. They would like that.

That's great. Hog actual size. God damn it. Am I hitting with a drop? All right, here comes the drop. I'm tiger now. A tiger spells danger. I'm Tiger now.

I'm Tiger now. My Tiger Kung Fu is better than yours. Admit it. I'm Tiger now. Wow. Wow. I'm Tiger now. Oh, I gotta read the, I gotta read the, uh, uh, wags. Here it is.

Spoon man has sound garden. Now Tiger has his own ring entrance music, best played before beating up wimpy Doughboyz fans such as myself, Ben. Thanks, Ben. Sounds like you want to get your ass kicked. It sounds like Ben wants to get his ass kicked. Hope the Doughboyz don't come to my town and beat me up. Ha ha ha ha ha.

All right, Ben, calm down. I guess what I was saying, well, when Bill Clinton was saying Little Rock. Yes, right, yeah. He was kind of saying it like was saying, well, when Bill Clinton was saying Little Rock, Yes, right, yeah. He was kind of saying it like Plymouth Rock, like there is an actual rock there and I realized there's not really a, No, it's the name of the city.

There's no Little Rock in Little Rock. Is there a Little Rock in Little Rock? I actually don't know, maybe there is. Great question, I don't know. Drops at birdfuck.com. Mitch, very excited to have our guest. What an honor. With us in studio, in town in LA, as I mentioned earlier, from Columbus, Ohio.

He hosts the podcast, Guys, a podcast about guys, Murder Brian, aka Brian Quinby. Brian, thanks so much for being here. Thank you for having me. Brian, you've been a great friend of the Doughboys for a long time. We got you back in the Street Fight era. We got you back in Mitch's apartment. We were talking about that. This was a pre-Emma age.

We were talking about Juggalos. Fago, yeah. And we were talking about in Mitch's apartment. We were talking about that. We were, this was, this was a pre Emma age. We were talking about Juggalos and, and we were talking about Fago. Yeah. And, but we, we haven't gotten you in studio for a main feed episode yet. We're glad that we, this, this worked out last time. We were supposed to do it for IHOP. And then I can't, Mitch, I think we both got COVID. I think that's what it was.

That is what it is. We were supposed to do Oakberry. We were supposed to do Oakberry. We ended up doing IHOP. We ended up doing IHOP. That's what it was. Cause I was at home. Right. Yeah. We, I, we, I got COVID first and then I gave you COVID. Yes. That doing IHOP. That's what it was. Because I was at home. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I got COVID first and then I gave you COVID.

Yes, that's what it was. How long are you in LA for? A few days? Just four days, three days really, but four days. How was it like, what do you get up to when you're out here? Because what we ate today is a very LA chain. Like we, and we'll talk about it, we'll get into it, but I feel like it's like kind of like an outsider's view of what people eat in LA. But like you were saying earlier,

before we were recording, that LA is also like a great burger town, a great donut town. There's a lot of great working class food out here. I love burgers and donuts. Yeah. It's like my two favorite, I get made fun of, because I think somebody asked me what my favorite foods

were and I said burgers and pizza. And they told me I sound like a four year old. But yeah, there's burgers and donuts here. And that's what usually I also always go to Arowan and get a smoothie. That's no, that's a very LA. That's very, that's, you know what? I mean, burgers and donuts, both very LA things. And then the air, you're hitting all the LA famous thing. I mean, also Homer's favorite, donuts and burgers are probably. I'm a lot like Homer, actually. I am definitely, I eat like him, for sure.

You know what? I'm a lot like Homer. Part when he's at hell and they're feeding him the donuts, that sounds like the best thing to me. It's really good. Well, yeah, also, I guess, like, would your stomach, you know, like, I guess he doesn't,

he doesn't seem to mind. It's a cartoon world, a cartoon reality. Oh, right, yes, shit, I'm sorry. I think it does not follow I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Our rules of physical reality. Thank you, Weiger, I'm sorry. But yeah, he loves it, he loves his stuff.

Wait, hold on, oh shit, the whole thing's a cartoon, right? Not just that segment? It's all of it, it's all on. Oh shit, the whole thing is a cartoon, right? Not just that segment. It's all of it. It's all animated. There is a segment that's not a cartoon, right? Like on one of the Treehouse of War. They did do a live action opening once, and then they did a 3D animated one.

What's the live action opening? Oh, right. Yeah, there was one. Wasn't that made online and then they just like, wasn't it like a British thing that they just used or something? Oh, is that what happened? I thought that's what it was. One of the things I really love, it's disturbing,

but I love it when people make the cartoon, like Beavis and Bud, have you ever seen the real life looking Beavis and Bud? And they put like the real flesh textures on them. They look disgusting. Yeah, I know, but they're very funny though. I just, I show them to people and they like, that's disgusting.

I like to show people gross things. Oh, we know. Well, you're on the right show for that. Wrestler penises. I am very known as a guy that shares wrestler penises. Oh man. There's like a whole subsection of porno where they take wrestlers and they Photoshop them naked.

So like, I have a big show on that is crazy looking. But if you just search any wrestler and nude, there's a naked picture of them. We talked about, was it the Lego one where they show Puddle? I have a Lego. I got a naked Lego guy at my house. He's like this big. He's got a little tiny hog.

He's actually got replacement hogs in case it breaks. I already had to order new penises because they break. They're very brittle. They're 3D printed. Right, right. Like, I have a LEGO city in my office that has a naked LEGO old man standing on the roof of the police station.

You have to save it. That's funny. Wasn't there also like a LEGO Reddit or something that it was just people? Oh, naked LEGOs. Naked LEGOs. Naked Legos. That's a good one. That's mostly, you know, there's more women on there

than you would expect. I only post the guys. But there's like so many more women on there where it's like they put like a Lego on their titties. OK, right. Because they usually just build like, like build the thing and then lay their hog on top of it. It's not, it's not like artistically done.

You know what I mean? Right. A lot of times, the guy will just post himself naked with the Lego box. I'm doing a little Rizzler. I kind of like the sound of this. Rizzler would probably like it for the Legos, I'm sure. And I would like it for... Rizzler into Legos?

Probably. That's a cool thing to be into. My guess is Rizzler is probably like it for the Legos, I'm sure. And I would like it for- Is Rizler into Legos? Probably. That's a cool thing to be into. My guess is Rizler is into Legos. So you're saying people get naked online with miniatures. Hmm. Are those shirts real or is that carved? Like, is it- You can feel it.

I don't know how real it is, but yeah. Oh, I thought it was fabric. No, it's not fabric. That was beautiful. No, it's really well done. Yeah, all those online. But I also feel like a lot of times those posts are just like, aren't they people just trying to sell their own, sell something? Like isn't that part of it too? Yeah, I think that like a lot of Reddit, because I find a lot of that stuff now just naturally working.

Like when I'm prepping shows, you can generally like, you'll find a naked community. Like I just did referees and there there was like a naked I found like naked referees. Like, there's no habner and shit like, like, what are they? What are they showing? I just hogged they just but it's like in a referee shirt. You know what I mean? I like framing out your face. You're wearing the referee shirt and you just got your like, fuck. Yeah, I mean, they're like every kind of guy likes to be naked. I guess so.

That's one thing I've definitely learned. Every type of guy has a naked guy that hangs around and has their own subreddit. Right. If you search something on Reddit, because I use it a lot for the show, if you search something, there's also adult NSFW categories. And everything you search there or there.

And I clicked them first before I start actually getting the work done. I clicked those to see how gross they are. Let's say, speaking of guys, you did pizza guys with our good friend, Eva Anderson. And like, what did you find about, cause I want to talk about pizza in general, but like any takeaways from the unique pathology

of pizza guys that you can recall? I am just like, I am one, is what I ended up finding out, because it's just like, if somebody is like, oh, you know, there's this dough that takes three days to ferment. And now it's like, okay, I'm going to do that. So I learned how to do that.

Then they said pizza steel is the thing. So I bought a big pizza steel and now I was like, okay, I'm gonna do that. So I learned how to do that. Then they said pizza steel is the thing. So I bought a big pizza steel and now I do that. I think the weird thing I found, I think the thing that we found on that episode that was very funny is like I searched for the best pizza in the world. And it's in Italy, wherever, not Napoli or whatever. And I found-

Do you buy it? I don't buy it. I think American pizza is better than that. I'm sure it is. I mean, because you've heard that I'd like it more. Yeah, you would like it more there. No, I'd like American pizza more just because it's closer to what I know. Yeah, but yeah, we found like bad reviews on those restaurants. And they're like bad reviews are like one of our favorite things. Yes, because they're

generally not for the food or anything like that. And I think all the funny pizza stuff was around like people trying to use their uni, the pizza oven. Oh yeah. And just posting the worst looking pizzas you've ever seen. Yeah. Like the thing falls apart.

Cause I would, my wife told me she would let me buy, if I agreed to move, she would let me buy an uni. And I was like, I didn't even ask for one of those. Ha ha ha ha. She tried to convince me that we have to move, she would let me buy an uni. And I was like, I didn't even ask for one of those. I was like, would you try to convince me that we have to move? Cause I don't want to move. You know, but I got a pizza steel and I have a pizza slide

and I order pepperoni from like this company in Ohio that does it, that it's called Ezzo pepperoni company. I get that. I have Detroit style brick cheese. Wow. It's like I paid $45 for these things and cheese. So I can learn how to make a Detroit style pizza. I have like the special pans and stuff.

So I, it's really hard sometimes for me to find the weird thing about a guy when I'm like kind of that guy. You are the guy. Yeah. That becomes difficult. So it was definitely like, kind of that guy. You are the guy. Yes, yeah. That becomes difficult. So it was definitely like a lot of just guys fucking up and then fighting over who has the best pizza, you know?

Sometimes I'll do a pizza steal. Yoink. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha guy yourself, Mr. Slice over here. Yeah, I haven't made them in a while. You were, but you were, your bar pizza was, was quite tasty. You liked it. I really enjoyed it. Yeah. You ate it at Palmerston is where you ate it. Wow. That's a while back.

I, there's, there's put pans from Lloyd's. Is that, is that, was that the place that there's like specific part bar pizza pans? Oh, with the holes? Uh, no, these are, this is like very specific New England style. I'll, I'll, I'll send it. If you ever want to try to make a bar pizza,

it is like, it's kind of, you know what? I mean, like, it's not like Detroit style at all, but the edges, the crust of the pizza is, what is that called? When the cheese is burned, laced. Oh yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, the laced edges, and Detroit style does that too.

So there's like some similarities there, I guess, in a small way. I think there's also something of like, it is a pretty hyper regional type of pizza that is kind of like, Detroit style pizza, obviously had a moment. Pizza Hut had a Detroit style pizza. Like it's become a national thing,

but it wasn't for a long time. I feel like bar pizza, like New England style bar pizza is gonna have that moment when it kind of becomes like, oh wait, there's a place in LA that does it now. There already kind of is. Yeah, so maybe that's the next thing. It's close, tavern style. I mean, like it is funny, it's just like, you'll never,

it is, I've had Detroit pizza here that I'm like, oh, that's close, and then I have, but I have not had bar pizza here that I'm like, that is bar pizza. Right, right. The best I've had here is yours. Gotta be honest. Hey, I'm doing, I eat Jet's pizza. Do you guys have Jet bar pizza here that I'm like, that is bar pizza. Right, right. The best I've had here is yours. Gotta be honest. Hey, I'm doing, I eat Jets pizza.

You guys have Jets pizza here? We've had, we had Jets in Detroit. We don't have it out here. Very weirdly really into that. Yeah, it's good. I'm like kind of a snob when it comes, like, cause I don't, I haven't had Pizza Hut or like Domino's or any of that stuff,

but like there's a, there's a Jets pizza in the convention center by the house that is like really close But like I go there to walk. Yes, but is this actual like it's a convention center version of it Or is it an actual it's the real thing There too and everything. Oh, like I walk up and down the steps there and other stuff that sometimes I do in there yeah, but uh, I Sometimes crap at the convention center when I'm traveling.

Right. Are you a buddy or Jets guy? I think I like Jets. I don't like buddies. I had buddies like a couple of years ago and I didn't like it. Hey, when you're a jet, you're a jet all the way from your first cheesy slice to your last cheesy slice. That's a good one. last cheesy slice. That's a good one. What the fuck? I got a buddy's frozen pizza, and it was the pizza that broke me and said I'll never eat frozen pizza again,

because there's some kind of a preservative they put in frozen pizza. Okay. It's this weird taste that is in all of them that I just am like, I can't eat this anymore. I think it makes me sick. Yeah, I mean, frozen pizzas, I don't know, did you do frozen pizzas ever? I sometimes mean, frozen pizzas, I don't know,

but did you do frozen pizzas ever? I sometimes do a frozen pizza, but they're not. There's a couple that are. It's always a compromise. Here's the thing. I was going to say about Italian pizza, because the best Italian pizza is like Neapolitan style. Yeah.

And I like Neapolitan style, but it's not my favorite type of pizza. Right. That's why I like a New Haven or like a New York style pizza. Or I mean, Regina, as you know, I love. But like that, those big New York style slices, I'm going to like more than even the best Neapolitan, I feel like. But frozen pizza that I have had that is good is, I think it's called Table 8.

Yeah. It ends up costing $25. It's $25. You might as well order pizza. I mean, you might as well order a pizza. But I guess to have in your house at any time, that table light one is decent. But all of them, even the best ones almost taste like it's a little bit of nothing taste. There's a weird chemical. I don't know what it is. It's got to be something in there that

when I eat it, it makes me nauseous now. And it's all of them. Like I said, I bought the Buddies, which is a really expensive one. And it's like a specific. Like I said, I bought the Buddies, which is a really expensive one. And it's like a specific one. I ate it and it made me sick. And then like, you know, I haven't had like a Red Baron. I used to do those Red Baron's. They're like mini deep dish pizzas. Oh, I remember those. Yeah, yeah. Kind of like cupcakes. When I was growing up in high school, they had those mini deep dish pizzas.

Oh, yeah. Who did those? Red Baron. Red Baron does them. They were good, right? Yeah, they were called Little Charlies when I was growing up and you would get those at school and I would get those and nacho cheese and dip them in nacho cheese. Because we used to dip everything in nacho cheese when I was in school. They had like this really good nacho cheese. So I would dip those in there. That's the other thing about Ohio that is weird is that we have the chili cheese burrito at Taco Bell. Right.

And I get it all the time. And like every time I leave the state, I'm like, I'm going to get a chili cheese burrito and they don't have them. And I'm like, that is crazy. But what happened was they sold them at our school when we were growing up for some reason, the school cut a deal with Pizza Hut and Taco Bell, but they didn't sell anything from Taco Bell except for the chili cheese, the Chilito.

So y'all got indoctrinated with the Chilito. Y'all got hooked. And now it's become like a region-locked Taco Bell special. Yeah, I mean, there is a map. Yeah. We did. I feel like I would never eat a chili cheese burrito

if I hadn't had it when I was growing up. It's disgusting. It is disgusting. I guess you're right. I mean, I would like eat a chili cheese burrito if I hadn't. Wow. When I was growing. It's disgusting. It is disgusting, I guess you're right. I mean, I would like it too. Yeah, yeah, it tastes good, but it's, when I think about it, I can't think too much about it because I think about like, they have to make it

for this like one specific place. Like, is it just some kind of bag of chili and cheese sitting in a Taco Bell warehouse that they're like, we need more in Ohio. We need to send some to Ohio now. And nowhere else, there's a map. Apparently, you can search, there's a map. There might be a place here that sells them,

but on the map, it's like the middle of the country. That little area, the Midwest, has all of them. And then you don't see them anywhere else. Wow, I gotta see this Chilito map. There was a lot of school lunches that I liked, but which turns out that most of it is just like prison food, right? Yeah. Isn't it prison food, basically?

Yeah, I mean, my remembrance of the actual cafeteria food in my elementary school and middle school is pretty grim. It's like Cisco, right? It's all like the same handful of national suppliers and they're just getting like, you know, the cheapest shit that the, whatever the school district can afford, which isn't much.

So for prisoners, when you're older, you're like school lunch for kids sucks basically, right? And the, but the thing I remember from my middle school and then later high school is they did have similar sort of things. Like you get McDonald's cheeseburgers at my high school but just sold from like a guy. And I used to get pizza all the time for lunch.

I'd get two pizzas and two chocolate milks as a fat 12 year old. And I have that every fucking day for lunch. And then I'd be like, why does my stomach hurt in gym class? Like I never made the connection. Two pizzas and two slices of pizza and two chocolate milks. And all our-

We were a fucking little stinky little fuck. As a dairy dude. And all of us like in our age bracket, Bill Clinton had not taken out all the like sugar loaded drinks that were in vending machines. So we just had soda machines with full Mountain Dews. We did too. I kept them in there for you, Wax.

It was weird where I grew up. You were a dork if you packed your lunch. So I didn't pack my lunch. I ate in the cafeteria every day. And my daughter, when she was in school, you never ate the school lunch food because it was like, it's gross. It's gross. You know what I mean? So they packed their, actually, my daughter very luckily was allowed to leave for lunch and go get like whatever was,

and Wendy's or Dairy Queen. Oh, wow. Yeah, we could not leave. We could not leave the premises. But hey, I'd get locked up for one of those chicken patties again. Why do I fucking? The Mexican pizza.

I don't know if you had the Mexican pizza. There were like an octagon thing. Oh, no. And they had like yellow cheese on them and like probably ground beef, some kind of meat. You're saying, do you say at your school cafeteria or Taco Bell? Yes, yes, in my school cafeteria.

We have a version of that. They call it Mexican pizza, probably because we're from Ohio and so far away from Mexico, everything seems Mexican. But like, I think they're called tostada. Yeah, it's like a tostada. That's the, we have a version of that. Here's the chili cheese locator.

This is from Living Moss is the site, the chili cheese burrito locator. So yeah, it is very much concentrated in the Midwest and the South, but there is, if you go, it basically stops at the Rocky Mountains. It's basically, like you have to be east of the Rockies. And then you have to be-

It's basically a map of who voted for Trump. I'm sorry. Yeah. You have to be- It's like a red map of when people are showing the majority and they show that it's all red and you're like, no one lives in like, it's like Harlem office.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Montana's all red. It's like there's 200 people that love it. I wanna ask you about, cause we're talking about pizza and Ohio. I wanna ask you about Columbus style pizza specifically, which is its own thing. Yeah, it's a thin crust, like very thin,

like cracker crust and then the cup and char pepperonis. And it's got like a spicier flavor. It's easy to, if you look at a picture of it, like it's very good. I think they, some Chicago takes credit for it sometimes, but it's not the same. I've had it in Chicago and it's a totally different thing. It's weird. Like when I first, cause I didn't do a lot of traveling until I started going on tour, when I first

started going on tour, I expected that kind of pizza when I went to a place and was very surprised that people actually hate pizza cut in squares for some reason. Because there is also another, it gets confused with this other Ohio style pizza, which is DiCarlo's style. Yes, that's it. Is it, it's a, it's a round pizza, but it's cut into, it's tavern cut, it's cut into squares and it's very

Is it cut into squares or is it just cut into sticks like that? It's cut into squares usually. Okay, this guy fucked up. Yeah, he's stupid. But there's also DeCarlo's, which is some, some, I think a more rural part of Ohio, where they bake the pizza and then they put the cheese on after. I don't, I've never had that.

Here's an article. What is Columbus style pizza? And here's the lowdown and why it tops them all. It does top them all to me, but not to you. Wow. I mean, I want to try it. I've never tried Columbus style pizza. What it reminds me of- Didn't we go to- No, we're not going to Columbus. Well, we want to try I've never tried Columbus style pizza what it reminds me of didn't we go to no We're not gonna claim. Well, we want to clean

It's weirdly like it's not in Cincinnati. It's not in Cleveland It's weirdly just constant because there's a pizza place called Donato's that is kind of almost a national chain now And they like kind of pioneered it and then now there's all of these guys that ripped them off. You know, like all the rumors are like, we have these weird rumors about it where a guy worked for Donato's and then he was like, I'm gonna make it myself. And then he opened up a place and that happened. You know what I mean?

So I think that is how it happened. But Donato sucks now. I mean, I don't get that thinking you're getting it. That's different thing. Like McDonald's bought them, then sold them, and everything changed. So you got to go there. I always feel like it would sell well anywhere, though.

I think people would like it. It's a little bit spicier. Oh, that's nice. We got to try it. But where did we try Fago? Oh, it was when we were in Detroit. Yeah, we went Fago here, and then Brian brought some, but then we also got some in Detroit.

I love Fago. Yeah, we had- You brought a bunch here, didn't you? Yes. That was great. Yeah, yeah, I love it. I'm a big ICP fan growing up, so. They seem like good guys, we've said.

Yeah, yeah. Chris said, who do you want to get on the show? And I only put two people, one was Violent J. I was like, what kind of guys would you like? And I was like, Violent J. It was like, what kind of guest would you like? And I was like, Violent J. I was like, I like that. Is there a reason why Violent J over Shaggy? Because Violent J is more verbose.

Like he wrote the book and stuff. I was such a crazy fan of, I'd like, there's a period of my life where the only concerts I went to were ICP concerts, and it was like 10 a year or whatever. I would just, they'd come to Ohio a lot. Yeah. You've been to the gathering of the Juggalos, right?

I did, I did go to it one year. I would do it again, really. We wanna do it at Live Doughboys. Yeah, they have a comedy tent. I would send them. You don't wanna do that. And I tell you, I don't think you wanna stand on stage there is all I'm saying. They fire bottle rockets at the people on stage the whole time

Like it never stops Like I was watching kid and play and I was like so, you know, it's kid and play they're like sure fucking 55 year old guys and they're up there dancing and stuff and they're dancing and avoiding the Bottle rocket. I mean that sounds pretty funny. Yeah But it's not and we also saw vanilla Ice and he didn't play Ice Ice Baby. Oh, man. Wow. He played like nothing from like the one album that everybody, although I was a fan of the hardcore rap album that he did and the metal album that he made. I actually ended up liking those at the time. I probably wouldn't listen to him now.

But yeah, he was up there. That's my boy. I like, Vanilla Ice is pretty fun and that's my boy. Do you ever see that one? Wait, that's my boy. Oh, that's the Samberg one, I never saw it. Oh, it's great. I like that's my boy.

I think it's funny. He did a, I should find this. He did a home improvement show. Do you remember that? He had like a, he's like- Violent J? No, Vanilla Ice. Oh, Vanilla Ice. Vanilla Ice did a home improvement show. Do you remember that? He had like a, he's like. Violent J? No, I, vanilla ice. Oh, vanilla ice.

Vanilla ice did a home improvement show. Oh, he did, yes. No, I remember, this was a reality show. Yeah, yeah, that was pretty wild. But yeah, they were shooting bottle rockets at him up there and they like him. Right. And they like ICP and they're shooting bottle rockets

at ICP and then like, if it's a non-ICP act. If they don't like us, which they won't, basically. No. I don't think so. No, I don't think so either. Well, you don't think I'd get that there. In 1941, Dave Thomas had a vision. Pew, pew, pew.

Which is as soon as you start. Nailed with a fucking whiskey bottle. I can't imagine a podcast. I know that they have comedians, but I don't even think, I think they just, like a lot of the acts, they just comedians, but I don't even think, I think they just, like a lot of the acts they just pay to be there. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like they go up and do their thing for like five minutes and then they're done. They just won't be able to. You think they'll like me talking about deflating Tom Brady's dick on stage? I think they would like that. You think I would be a hit with the jungle? I think they'd love you.

I knew that. You have wrestling there. Like I didn't get to see it because I left before the nighttime. Like I am very like, I went to Woodstock 99. Wow. Yes. And I left the day before the riots and stuff because it was too uncomfortable.

I hated it. I was sleeping in like a bad tent in the middle of a parking lot. Were you, when you saw that the riots started at that age where you're like, I wish I had been. It's a bummer, yeah. I've been in a few riots though. Oh really?

Yeah, OzFest97 in Columbus, Ozzy didn't show up. And I didn't care, because I wasn't even like an Ozzy fan. Right. But like, he didn't show up. We even got something a little cooler. It was like all the acts from earlier in the day played Black Sabbath songs.

It was like a novel thing, but everybody was like, fuck this, Ozzy can't just show up. And it started kicking the fence down and burning stuff and flipping cars and stuff. Jesus. It was like, I was even like crazy. I was like, oh, if Ozzy can't show up to us. And I didn't even care at all,

but I just wanted to riot. You know what I mean? I'm so excited about it. Weiss showed up late to a Seattle show once. That's right. And I guess for us, I mean, there wasn't much rioting. I think people were like, where's Weiger? You know, like, there wasn't that.

That was kind of quietly said from the audience. It's a very different fandom. Yeah, yeah. But I've never been a part of a riot. I feel like I would be uncomfortable. I was in Ithaca when the Red Sox won, and then my friends went into town and they saw like, they saw how crazy it was and they left basically.

Yeah, it's not, I mean, it can be fun. Like when you're young and you don't give a shit, but like I, you know, like the political riots, those are bad. Like the the police throw flashbangs at you. Like, at the Osfest one, they just flew a helicopter over and said, hey, guys, stop that. You know what I mean? Like, not bad.

They said, like, please disperse. And I actually saw the police grab a guy and handcuff him to a tree that was like this, one of those saplings, and just fucking leave. And they were like, you'll come back and and get them because he was throwing bottles at cars. Like he was sitting in front of the police just throwing bottles at cars because he just... I think when it happens, people are like, I'll never get arrested. But some people get arrested.

But hey, he got some chicken patty fucking lunch when he went to the slammer wags. It's worth it. I want to ask you about a place, it's something I heard you mention on YKS, which is you were getting a lot of soft pretzels in Columbus. Is that a thing you're still doing? I'm trying not to, but now that I'm here, the Wetzel's pretzels, I love those.

Oh wow. Like I love them. They don't have the Wetzel out there? I like Wetzel. No, no. We do Auntie Anne's every time we go to the mall. Yeah, sure. I like Auntie. Oh wow. Like I love them. They don't have the wet's all out there? I like wet's all. No, no. We do Auntie Anne's every time we go to the mall. Yeah, sure. I like Auntie Anne's too.

They're so fucking good. They're like probably the best, but there was a place in the city that just does soft pretzels and it was in like this market that's right by my house. So every single day I was stopping and getting two soft pretzels and a Diet Coke and just eating them.

And then it was like, oh, that's not healthy at all. Two soft pretzels a day, that's... Yeah. All right, relax, Mr. Two Chocolate Milks and Two Slices. Who are you to judge? I'm not judging. I'm just saying. But yeah, that's a lot of soft pretzels. I've broken a lot of insane habits.

Like the caramel habit. I was eating six king-sized caramels a night. Oh my god. Like in the middle of the night, I would wake up and go down in my kitchen and just scarf down three or four and then go back to bed and then wake up a little later and eat two more. It was like I was spending almost $20 on candy every day. I feel like if that was written into how they sleepwalk in Step Brothers,

if someone was like, how about you eat six caramels are back that's too crazy I'm like three yeah maybe three caramels three king-size caramels I haven't bought one in so long because I know what will happen like it's like I'm an alcoholic like if I had one caramel I was like I love five more of those caramel was new well I mean I don't know if it was new if it was just the new commercial campaign remember You remember Stretch It Out? Yeah, I remember that. I don't, yeah, I feel like Caramello's always been around,

but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it wasn't new candy at some point, but I do remember that jingle. I remember that campaign. Loved them. Oh, God, they're so good. It's crazy how good they are. And then I quit,

because Mike and Jesse and Chris made fun of me for it. And I was like, I got to do better. You know what I mean? And then I just got really into Reese's Outrageouses. So I'd eat six of those a night. And it was just like, it's the six that's the problem. It's the six candy bars, not the flavor of candy bars. I like candy bars a lot.

Like, I don't know. I like candy bars, and I like soda. I like pop a lot. And it feels like everybody hates it now. Like, people are like, oh, I don't like candy bars. I like soda. I like pop a lot. And it feels like everybody hates it now. Like people are, oh. I love soda, but I don't. I drink a diet, I do like a Coke Zero every day. And it sucks.

I'm trying to get off of the zero sodas this month. I've had one so far, but I'm trying to like wean myself off. What are you doing? Just water? Yeah, I'm just doing water, sparkling water. Oh, fucking sucks. I'm doing zero sugar cherry seven up right now. I don't think- That's like my favorite drink. That's good.

And have you had the Shirley Temple? I did not like that one. Oh, I like that one. Because I am known as a guy that, because I know it's got pomegranate in it. Yeah. And I spent $75 on two pomegranates once on accident. Two rotten pomegranates came to my house and I was like, this sucks.

Because I got really into pomegranate. I get like obsessive over stuff and I got really into pomegranates. Couldn't find them anywhere in Ohio. So I ordered them from this place and they shipped them to me and they were both rotten. And I looked at how much it was and it was $75. That sucks.

Yeah, it sucked. I felt like a real fucking stupid ass. It's, I was reading what you were describing about, like if you had one, you'd go right back into it. I'm reading this book on dopamine right now, and it's talking about that phenomenon. Like we bind ourselves, I forget exactly what the term was,

but it's something binding. Like we create some sort of structure where it's like we're forbidding ourselves from having something that gives us pleasure. And then if enough time passes, and then we go back to it, even though our bodies have learned to manage without it, if you go back to it, immediately your brain reverts to where it was previously. So it's why like when an alcoholic who could be, who'd be sober for years falls off the wagon, they're immediately just like fucking completely getting plaster all the time.

And it's just like, I guess it's just a part of our brain chemistry. But it's one of those things where he's like, well, it's nice to know that's the reality. But that's also really discouraging for breaking bad habits. So my option is lifelong abstinence, because otherwise I'm going to go back into.

Not a problem. It's weird. I find it very strange. I think like I never thought about how weird it is to be an adult that has a candy bar habit. Sure. I don't eat candy bars anymore, but I used to. I mean, I still love a Reese's.

It's just as you get older, and I mean, soda is my, that's the thing that I love, a Coca-Cola. And I haven't eaten them since I've been doing that stupid drug that I've been Doing yeah, I barfed yesterday. I fucking shower. That's my favorite. That's my second favorite bodily What's number one nutting nutting is You think nutting was after throwing up I don't know if we're considering that in part among the options. Yeah, it is. Man, are there people that like

the feeling of throwing up more than nutting? No, not that, not more than that, but I love throwing up. Yeah. It's one of my favorite throwing up and then crap, like people give me shit cause crapping was my last one, but I said it's better if it's diarrhea

cause it's like, you're fucking in and out with that. Sometimes having diarrhea does feel good. Yeah. Barfing and diarrhea-ing are the two most cleansing things you can do. I don't know about barfing. I find barfing pretty unpleasant, but go on. I was like, I barfed yesterday. I barfed in the shower.

I would look. Oh, in the shower? I've never done that I it was it was it was it was your drain was like what's this this is new it's get usually gets a different But I was nerve-racked. I had some, there was a work thing. You had a big work thing. Yeah, a big work thing. Did you feel relieved after at least?

I woke up nauseous and I've never been worried about work stuff like this before ever. Like I've never gotten sick from it. And that's even- We can just say what it is. We were having koala on Doughboys. Yeah, I was so nervous. That's big.

Aw. I was so nervous that I just like didn't want to see him. So I was like, I was brushing my tongue. And then I was like, oh, it's over. I'm going to barf. Yeah, it sucks. And I threw up. And then I got down on my knees.

And then I really threw up. And they were- When you were done, it was like- When I was done, it was, I did feel, I mean, it sucked so much because I was just on all fours barfing. That's the problem. Like, I feel like I do get the post-pute clarity.

I get what you're talking about. Like, I just feel better, but the actual process of vomiting, I feel I find so physically unpleasant. And I also, I, and Mitch, I want to hear you give closure on this, your anecdote, but like, I also like always get dry heaves.

I mean, yes, that was the issue. I was like, what? And then I like, sorry, I shouldn't even do that for listeners. And then I was on- That was the gentlest drive I've ever had. But I was like, that's like, cause I never, I don't throw up.

Is the, I like, don't, I like, when I throw up, I'm dying. Like I'm, I'm dying. I remember, well, I shouldn't tell bad story. The last time I threw up before this was after staying up all night with Jack Allison and we were watching the Wolf of Wall Street and we were very fucked up. Yeah.

And Jack said he went to bed just hearing me in the, all over the toilet. Being like, and they're just throwing up. And he was like, I should probably check on Mitch and he never did. Um, but this is when you live together. This is when we lived together. So that was like, I should probably check on Mitch and he never did. Um, but This is when you live together? This is when we lived together. So that was like, what, 10 years ago?

That's crazy. That was a lot. I think that's the last time I threw, I can't remember a time that I threw up. Maybe I probably have said it on the podcast, so they'll know more than I do. Some guy will be like, ah, you threw up two weeks ago. Yeah, he threw up like four weeks ago.

Uh, yeah, but this was, this was, this was, uh, this was, this was the first time I remember throwing up in a while. And I, yeah, I got down on all fours and I barfed up onions and beans. Oh yeah. And it was in the drain, the onions and beans were in the fucking drain, they were just sitting in the drain.

And I remember just on all fours, barfing up onions and beans, and then also my dick was just shrinking into my body. Yeah, right, yeah. I could just feel my dick just being like, like going into my body. You're naked with water running over you. You're just fucking puking directly.

It's awful. It was a deflate. It was basically like a deflate thing, a deflate gate. Yeah. Hey, I don't like cleaning up barf. No, I don't want us to clean up barf. No, that's not true. I actually like cleaning up diarrhea. That's not no one wants to clean up barf. No, that's not true. I actually don't like cleaning up diarrhea.

That's not fun either. Clean up diarrhea. Well, it depends on what's going on. You spend enough time around children or the doughboys, you will have to clean up diarrhea. I don't mind puke because of having a kid. I don't want poop. I remember being like-

Puking is gnarly though, isn't it? Yeah, it's gross. Yeah, poop is poop. Poop is the worst. Human poop is the worst stuff out there. Human shit is human shit is disgusting. Yeah, I don't care for the stuff I remember when my daughter got old enough that it was an adult not an adult size, but real poop Yeah, and it was like you gotta fucking learn how to use the toilet at this point, right? This is fucking crazy Oh, yeah, that would fucking they get to an age where you just look at them like,

nope, you can't do this anymore. It's one crap and you're like, no more. Yeah. Real stuff. Picking up a log with like paper, like with, that would suck. We used to have to clean it up in the backyard for the dogs. Oh yeah.

My friend's mom was like, we're gonna go see boys in the hood when I was like 12 years old. And I was like, oh, I gotta go. My parents were like, you gotta clean the dog shit out of the backyard. My brother had to mow the grass. So I'm out there cleaning up the dog shit.

I look over at him and he takes the lawn mower and he lifts it up and drops it on the stump of a tree and breaks it on purpose. So he doesn't have to finish. And then he let him go. And I was like, damn, I wish I could have broke something or something. Yeah, you would have asked me if you could have done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What is your, let's go. Did you get to go or no? I did, I did get to go. We got to go, you know, I don't think, I think they were always gonna let us go, but they were like, maybe we're gonna get the lawn mower out of this. But it is funny to break the lawn mower.

Like, cause, you know, they just get it all. It is also, you said you were 12 years old, it is an intense movie for a- Not only is it intense, but I took the wrong, I was like, I gotta get in a gang. Like immediately after that movie, I saw it and I was like, let's start a gang. I talked about it on Tri's a lot.

It was like, let's start a gang. I have all these gang ideas that we can do. And then like in ninth grade, this dude that I went to school with was like, let's start a gang. I have all these gang ideas that we can do. And then like in ninth grade, this dude that I went to school with was like, I'm starting a gang. And he started jumping people into his gang. And he was like, you wanna get jumped in to my gang? And I was like, let's see how long it lasts for,

like I didn't wanna get beat up. You know, I was like, let's just see how long this gang lasts. Maybe I'll get in later if it's still around. Yeah, I wanted to be in a gang really bad. The Irish mafia was in, I didn't know any gang, I didn't know if I knew any, there was- Like Bloods or Crips? Yeah, there was nothing like that.

I knew people that claimed it. Like where I grew up, there were guys that were like, I'm a Blood or I'm a Crip and it's like, you're in Ohio. You're like Groveport, Ohio. I don't think you are, but they would beat you up. I mean, so it wasn't much of a difference. Yeah, yeah, what's the difference

you're getting your ass kicked? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to clean out my drain afterwards and it was bad. That's awful. Yeah, it was bad. What is the rest of your bodily fluids rankings? I think it was. Cause nutting is first. Nutting.

Puking. Barfing. And then I think I said farting and- Farting third. Yeah, I don't really like, I hate fart. I did fart guys on the podcast. Yeah, I know, yeah. I hate farting. Yeah.

Like I think it's the worst. Although I found the fart guys kind of wholesome. Weirdly, the guy that I found, the farting. Like, I think it's the worst. Although, I found the fart guy's kind of wholesome. Weirdly, the guy that I found, the fartologist, like, that guy is really funny to me. Like, he farts. Because he's not like a horny guy, really. Not even, it's not a fetish. Because he thinks it's funny.

Yeah. Yeah, and he's like, I have these great, crazy farts, and I want to share them with the world. I'm serious that he said that. There's a video of him like answering questions. And he's like, why do you do it? these great crazy farts and I want to share them with the world. I'm serious that he said that there's a video of him like answering questions and he's like why do you do it? He was like oh I had to get really funny farts and I was sending them to my friends on text and asked me to stop doing it so I had to share it with somebody. So now he does these things, he does these videos where he's like

he goes and eats Indian food and films himself eating it. Then he checks into a really nice hotel and he just lays in bed and farts and records it. He's got like a little meter to see how loud the farts are. I laugh at it, but like, how different is it from what we do? It's the same thing. The same thing.

Yeah, but it's like, you know, it's very strange to be that. Like I found that like, I found that it's very strange. Like, I found the guys that were like, these farts are great. You know? Yeah, that's I mean, that that is that is that's more perplexing to me is people that like to watch it or Yeah, but but there's like an aspect of it because obviously like yes, everything is fetishized and people can sexualize anything. There are people who are jacking off to this, but there there's like an aspect of it because obviously like yes, everything is fetishized and people can sexualize anything There are people who are jacking off to this but there are also people who are just like ha ha that's funny

What a great sounding fart, you know, we're just preaching in it for aesthetic reason Our slash farts has a no fetish rule Wow, which has Chris My co-host pointed out that you can't really stop them. Yeah, sure, right fetishes, I, the way we did the episode was like, the first part of it was all those guys. And then because of the fetish guys existing, we did the last 15 minutes on that. And that was really strange stuff. Like that stuff, like, like guys just like,

like putting their head up against their girlfriends as they're having their fart in their face. It's crazy to me. But yeah, the guys that love it, I found a guy on Reddit on r slash farts that gets up every day and farts like and films it. And then people started saying like, your farts are too nasty.

Stop doing it. It was too gross for r slash farts. Yeah, and he was like to the jabronis, he told me to stop filming my farts. Here's a big one And I love him he's a white guy with dreadlocks. He's very defiant and he just loves to fart. He just won best actor Do you okay so so so farting is third, fourth? I think it was farting was, see it was on X, the everything website. Got it, got it.

So I don't remember, I knew it was crapping was last cause I hate crapping. Yeah, but I see it's pissing after farting. Pissing, I love pissing. You do like pissing, somebody who's above farting. So it would have been, it would have been nutting, barfing, pissing, farting, crapping, and then if it's diarrhea, crapping goes up two spots.

Got it. It's not a real thing. I got a lot of grief for it too. Like it was crazy. Well, some people really like to take a big crap. I know, it's so gross. It's the worst. Like, you know.

I would rather, throwing up is so hard for me. Throwing up is really unpleasant. It's really unpleasant. I'd rather take a crap than puke. It doesn't smell I mean something. Oh, yeah, you take you to one you do every day I would trade that oh my god If I could get rid of crapping and just barf all the time, that's what I would do I

Would make that deal with the devil Garbage Pail Kid universe, where you're just fucking barfing every day. Yeah, I would love it. Jesus. I don't like crap smells so bad. It's the worst stuff. Yeah, no, it's bad.

It's all, look, it is all, also, I like that you pointed out X is the everything website. I know. I look at Reddit probably too much now. Yeah, probably. I don't look at it at all. Somebody was like, hey, I was on r slash murder Brian. And I was like, don't go on there. And don't tell me anything about it.

I don't want to know what's going on there. I started, because I just, I'll just give myself a barricade now. So I just have fucking block site on my browser and I just, I just block Reddit so I just don't look at it. I don't like, yeah, that, that, that was, that's a site that I could find myself looking at and then just like, why am I doing this? Like I'm not even posting, I'm just lurking. I'm just reading like psychos, like writing insane shit that I, that's making

mad and was like, there's no reason for me to be doing this. Yeah. If I want to occasionally check like the NBA sub Reddit or something and just see like, Hey, I want to occasionally check like the NBA subreddit or something and just see like, hey, I want to just look for some highlights, I'll toggle off BlockSight for like five minutes. But like, other than that, I'm just like, I'll just stay away from it.

That's my easiest way to manage it. I don't look at any guy's stuff at all. Yeah, that's smart. I don't go to the Discord. I go to the Discord like every, like rarely I go in there and I'm like, I'll talk to them. But no, I don't want to know what people think. I think I just, people say that the Murder Brian subreddit

is actually really nice. I'm sure they're very nice to you there. You get a lot of fans. Yeah, I'm like, OK, that's good. They're mean to Chris, though, and I don't want to see that. I don't want to see them mean to my co-hosts. Yeah. They posted the Quincy Quarries on the red.

You never want me to tell you what's going on in the reddit. Yeah, I just don't need to look at that. No, you don't want to know. You don't want to know. I don't know how you're looking at that. I'm a sick man. I'm sick. Makes you nervous. It makes me nervous.

Like, can I stop finding myself arguing with the people in my head? Oh, I go in and I'll leave comments sometimes, which is even worse. This is really bad. Yeah. It never is. It's not.

If you're upset, it's not worth doing, but I do it sometimes. This show is sponsored by liquid Ivy. Hey buddy, you know, in terms of showing myself some love, I like to indulge in some guilty pleasures, like watching some videos. We don't need to go into what kind. I like to order sparkling water. That's a lot of fun for me. And hey, I'll go get a mani-pedi because why not? Love looks different for everyone, especially when it comes to all the ways to treat and celebrate yourself. Gift

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H-E-L- p.com slash no boys. Speaking of shit and vomit and diarrhea, we should get to this restaurant. That's right. Cafe gratitude, Mitch. So people in LA and in myself included for a long time thought of this as being like, oh, this is like some obnoxious LA place, but it actually started in the Bay Area, which also makes sense. This was founded by Matthew and Terce's Engelhart in 2004, founded up in the Bay, and it is run with their sons who are stepbrothers. They each have their

own son and then they later married. It is a vegan chain that serves dishes named for affirmation. So if people aren't familiar with this chain, every menu item has a name like, I am strong, I am humble, I am valued. And for a while, I think they're less stringent about this now, but they like wanted you to actually say the thing when you ordered it, which is a big part of why this place is so annoying. It has had a lot of controversy over the years.

I'll just name a couple, I'll just read a few of the things, but the owners forced their employees, and by the way, they call their employees advocates, and they consider that, like, they say, you're advocates who practice sacred commerce. That's what your job is. Oh. But they forced their advocates, their employees,

to pay out of their own pockets to take classes from Landmark. Landmark is a new religious movement, AKA cult, that's also a multi-level marketing scheme. But are they required to take the classes? They were required to take it, yeah. The employees had to pay for half of the classes and the company paid for the rest, but they had to do it. The Engelhearts also are, it's a loudly vegan chain. It's overtly vegan, we're plant- plant based. We don't have any fake meats We don't have any meats. We don't have any fake meats even But like it came out later that the founders moved to Idaho

they raised cattle who they They produce and sell cheese from and they also kill and eat them So they're just like eating meat and dairy on their farm that they paid for. I guess they had some in the food. Yeah, I know. And then the chain swelled to like a dozen locations in the 2010s. It was like a huge celebrity thing, I feel like in the early 20s. I feel like Jake Gyllenhaal would go there in like 2012 or whatever.

It was like that kind of spot. It's kind of faded. It's not as cool anymore. It's kind of been taken. Its spot has been taken by places like Arowan. So it now just has two left. There's two in LA and we went to one of them. And Brian, one thing I know about you from listening to guys and is that you like expensive things. This place is super expensive. But it's not the good kind. It's not the good kind of expensive. It's not like Italy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. I ate

at Italy the last time I was here for some reason. It would have been, we should have gone back. Eataly would have been way better than this place. Eataly's very okay. They got good pizza, I think. I remember. So I hadn't been to this place in years. I was not excited to go back, but I think it was a, Amelia, this was your pitch. I think this was a good idea to go to this place because I think it's a kind of place that we should cover. But it's a every aspect of it I find so obnoxious. I never been before I never had never been before. We have one of these places in Ohio called town hall.

There's this like restaurant group of this guy that that no hormones, no antibiotics and all that stuff. I think they have meat there. They do have meat there, but they're like, the guy is unambiguously evil. Yeah. And it sounds like, as soon as I saw the menu for this place, I was like, the guys that run this are

extremely evil. 100%. No, 100%, it's that kind of thing of like, you read more about this couple, and it's not like they have like this moral center that like is like, we care so much about plant-based food that we want to make this our lives. It's instead that they saw an opportunity in the market where they're like, you know what,

there's a spot for a high-end vegan place in LA. We can really bilk all these people with a bunch of disposable income, all these, you know, what they used to call limousine liberals by selling this food. And like that, it was a business plan. And these people are like- I hate this place so much.

They're like hippies, but they're like the hippies who grew up into Republicans. It's like once their financial needs, a situation became more comfortable, all of their ethics just went out the window. Yeah, it's RFK thing, same fucking thing. You can get a tax bill. I think that's like,

I don't know the first self-employed tax bill I got, and I was like, I think I'm a Republican. I'm getting all mad about it. What are they doing with my money? I mean, I didn't know that the owners were such seems like pieces of shit Yes, they're not even vegan the owners. No, that's very funny Why the fuck are you making us eat vegan? Well, this is the other thing It's like it you you look into this couple and it's like they were before they launched the restaurant

They were like we're gonna have a board game And so it's just like oh, so this is just a hustle to you like they were they tried the restaurant, they were like, we're gonna have a board game. And so it was just like, oh, so this is just a hustle to you. Like they tried the board game, the board game didn't work. They're like, okay, what's our next business? How about a vegan restaurant? And that's what they do. And they effectively build the brand. Like they effectively pander to, you know,

people who are to have these sort of like, whatever like live in the kind of mindfulness sort of wellness sort of space. Is there information on the board game at all? I don't know if you can find the board game. Be interested to see how crappy it is. It's probably so. I mean, I wonder if it's anything like, look, we said this on the text a lot, but I am angry is what you said.

You said I am hangry. I said I am pissed because they didn't have the fucking thing I ordered, which also anyways was fucking mung bean or whatever. gives a shit I didn't I didn't want it anyway what was the thing you ordered what was it called it was the Mediterranean Bowl but you remember what it was called because that a stupid name I am dumb I might have been the I am dumb yeah I didn't get the I am dumb maybe it was I am thriving I am thriving they didn't have I am mindful oh the I am thriving. Maybe it was I am thriving. I think it might be I am thriving. The I am thriving, they didn't have. It's I am mindful. Oh, the I am mindful.

You are mindful, Mitch. Thank you. I think of you as a mindful guy. That's very kind of you. I tried searching the menu for Mediterranean to see if they had another Mediterranean bowl for you, and that was the only thing that came up was the Mediterranean mung egg, mung bean egg thing.

Which is not Mediterranean dish at all, it's just. Why does it have mung bean? I don't want mung bean. Why do you call it mung? I don't want mung. I think it is a mung bean that functions as eggs in the thing, because they obviously don't have eggs. It sounds gross.

Mung is weird. Mung is gross. I was just at the Arnold Classic, which is a big bodybuilding expo. It's the biggest in the country. Is that in Columbus? It's in Columbus every year. Yeah.

And I was there, and there was an energy drink called chike. And I was like, I feel like you shouldn't be saying of this protein coffee. It was like everywhere. Yeah. I'm, I'm afraid to say it. And I won't. Portmanteau of three slurs.

It freaked me out. I was like, very, cause like the, the, the, all the marketing there is, it's really good. It's like all like mutant. It's got like a big fucking monster on it. It's like get fucking ripped. I love it. I love bodybuilders. The reason I'm, I didn't come here Friday. Yeah. The reason I didn't come here Friday was because I didn't want to leave Columbus during the Arnold Classic

because I like to go over there and look at all the big, huge guys and smell their big, huge craps. Because it's really famous. It's really famous among the restaurants in the city as the time when you have to keep on clogging the toilets. Right. Because those guys will go in there, they're order like two pounds of unseasoned ground beef. They're just loading up on protein and fat. My sister is a chef at a fine dining restaurant that does, and like, you know, usually they make these like really cool dishes. Actually, when I go there, they make me a western cheeseburger

that's not on the menu. I just go in there and they make me a Western cheeseburger. It's not on the menu. I just go in there and they make me like, they fry up some onion straws and like make me, cause I love that. Yeah, that's awesome. The onion ring, bacon, barbecue sauce, meat, like cheddar cheese, like that. Oh, I love that composition of burger.

I grew up, and I don't know if you had, if you had Hardee's out there or Carl's Jr., but we had Carl's Jr.. out here I grew up loving the Western bacon cheeseburger Mitch I know you love that as well I very much great great get it like a lot of places aren't doing it anymore I wonder there's like a map like the Toledo map where you get I need that that would be huge for me we got it we could do a we got to do a Drank or Stank with Chike. Get some mutant too. That's another one, Jocko Fuel.

Mung, which is I know a more natural name. It's a mung bean. Mung sounds disgusting. Mung sounds like what I left in the shower. Sounds like poop or something. Mung was the beans and the fucking onions. By the way, how much better would a Western bacon cheeseburger have been

than what we ate today? I just think of this like, man think that would have been so good. I'd be pretty tired right now. That's the thing about you eat that thing and it's like, there's nothing that's good. You're like, well, there's an onion and there's protein in it. Yeah. But yeah, she makes me that, but she said guys would come in and order like four steaks. And then one of the guys was like, he ordered four steaks, he ate three of them. And he said, Hey, can you hold this back in the kitchen?

I'll be back later to eat the fourth steak. So he went to the bathroom. I don't know where the guy went. I think he left and went back over to the body. It's crazy. Cause there's just people sitting. It's not like a fitness city. It's Columbus, Ohio. Is it like where the most fit people are?

So you just see these guys, these massive guys just like shoveling food into their face all day. It's just it's such a weird like I every year I go there and I look for huge guys and different weird. They do sports. So they had this like it's called mass wrestling and it like, they had this little rubber thing and they like sit on the floor and they basically tug of war with it. And I fucking loved watching it. And then they also have very weirdly a foosball championship. So there's professional foosball players there. And I always go over and check out the professional foosball.

But these guys, this sounds like Check out the professional foosball. But these guys aren't jacked. This sounds like every- No, not jacked at all. Yeah. Really, it's actually feels, it has a definite like pro wrestling vibe and that there's a DJ playing the loudest classic rock

you've ever heard in your entire life. Yeah. And like guys that are just dressed in different weird, like one guy had like an American flag shirt and then American flag overalls like an American flag shirt and then American flag overalls and an American flag hat and he was like a big, he's a big deal in the foosball world. Wow. Every detail of this sounds weirder than anything I've ever experienced. They're like, we went to, we went to the Scientology brunch.

That's true. And that was one of the weirdest things we ever did. That was really strange. But, and I guess, you know, uh, Comet Ping Pong was one of the weirdest things we ever did. That was really strange. But, and I guess, you know, Comet Ping Pong was kind of strange. But, but, but, but this, every deep, every part of it seems funny. Well, Gabris really, Gabris said he's coming next year

because he's always wanted to go to it. Gabris just competing it. I'm sure he could. It's such a big, it's, it's hard to emphasize how much of a big deal it is. Like, people come from all over the world to this. This is like the Super Bowl of bodybuilding. So you just see people walking around in this town where like, you know, I live like three or four blocks

from the convention center, and there's just people walking up and down the street. There's these massive guys. Like, wrestlers are there. There's these massive guys, like wrestlers are there. There's always like a lot of wrestlers. My sister fed Ryback and the big show. Wow. Wow. And Triple H once, they ate together.

They ate a lot of food. Apparently they ate a ton of steak. They were there for that event? They were there for the fitness event. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, was it the Republican convention too? Gronk was there this year.

Oh, Gronk, oh wow. Gronk has some sort of a fuel, Gronk? Oh, wow. Gronk has some sort of a fuel. Not gas, but as in like some protein. One of those fucking caffeine. It would be funny if you had a new gasoline. That would be great. They're like, Gronk gas is like great for the environment.

Makes your car go one mile an hour fast. Well, speaking of the second dish I ordered did not fit me. It was, I am strong. Yes, you got, you got the, I am trusting. Let me just, so, so the, So the mindful I didn't get. I am mindful you did not get. Lost my mind. Mitch, you trusted us at making the decision for you to have the, I am trusting, which was Amelia's suggestion. This is an Okinawan.

Not really. I didn't really trust you. I just had no option. Well, you weren't, you weren't responding. you. I just had no option. It was order... Well, you weren't responding, so we're just like, that one seemed closest to what you wanted. You know what? I am trusting. I said, that sounds just as bad as everything else. It was an Okinawan...

How dare you say that about the Okinawan purple potato longevity hash, which is what the I am trusting is in practice. The I am strong is blueberry protein pancakes, and the I am plentiful was your juice. That was cranberry, pomegranate, grape, carrot, apple, and ginger. I'm trying to do the math of this real quick. Your three menu items. Like 60 bucks?

Yeah, we're $60. Nice. The total price today was a plane flight. You could fly somewhere. It was north of $300. Yeah, for our- North of $300, replace that suck. Including tip, but yeah. Including tip, yeah. A horrible place. Really, for our- North of $300, replace that suck. Including tip, but yeah.

Including tip, yeah. A horrible place, really, I'm just kidding. So weird, my food, I have a weird whole thing going on. So Brian, you got an I am clean, which is a medical medium, heavy metal detox smoothie. I like the word medical. I do like that they put medical in the food. I like the idea of medical food.

We'll talk about the medical medium in a second because that's a whole thing. And you also got the I am lively, which was a Belgian oat waffle plus fresh berries. Now the way this was packaged was really disorienting and you actually ate the topping separately before you realized that there was a separate container that also had your waffles in there.

That was sitting right between Weiger and I. There was something in that container that was the consistency or flavor of a waffle. Right, so you're like, oh, is this a weird deconstructed waffle that comes in a jar or something? Like, okay, I guess this is what, and also like you see that cost $16.50. It's like, well, I guess from this fucking place,

this would cost $16. Yeah. But yeah, there was a separate thing of waffles there. Well, how were those waffles good? The waffles were good I got the most cowardly food of everybody. I got what the smoothie was gross, but they're always gross Like that's kind of the smoothie thing for me Smoothies can't okay Smooth I like when it tastes like dirt and grass, and you're like, that's probably good for me. That's what I was gonna say,

because yours has grass juice as a, as a barley grass juice is a big part of it. And it was at a very green brown sort of look to it. It looks like, it looks like mud. It looks like someone scooped up long. This one that I'm drinking here is a little bit more of a, of a conventional fruit based smoothie. Yours was fine.

It did taste almost like nothing. Yeah, it does have much love flavor. I tasted it and I thought it was like water, basically. It's kind of a mess. Ours was a beet juice and I didn't like it. Emma, did you like it? Mine's almost gone. Yeah, I like it.

But I like beet juice. I don't mind that flavor. Is there anything else in it? Yeah, I think it's like pomegranate, and it was pineapple. Oh, pomegranate. Cranberry, pomegranate, grape, carrot, apple, and ginger also in it.

I know a great place to get pomegranates if you're ever. Wait, there's no pineapple in it? No pineapple. Oh, I fucked up. That would have been good in there though. Yeah, could have used that. So the waffles, Mitch, you had the blueberry protein pancakes, that was the I am strong,

that also came with a double batch almond ricotta, maple syrup, blueberry compote, and cinnamon. I mean, the thing is, you are getting maple syrup and cinnamon and blueberry compote. They were protein pancakes, I will say. Do you know what the protein was? Oh, God, I... Come.

I think it's similar to those, you know, the Kodiak pancake mix? They just loaded some powder into it. It just has more protein. Fucking Gyllenhaal in that. Just whack it off. They just loaded some powder into it. It just has like more protein. Right. It's higher protein flour or something. Fucking Gyllenhaal nut. Just whack it off. Like 15 whack it off guys. If they got it dude.

Oh fucking nasty. Back to fucking Brady. These are the best things I ate. Well I don't know. these were the best things I, I ate. Well, I don't know, actually the thing, the I am trusting was okay. You took a bite of it. So the I am trusting, I mean, there's so many components in this, but it's like-

It was just a big mix of bullshit. So like, eating a sweet potato? Yeah, it had yams, bell peppers, broccolini, edamame, and this had, and a spinach pesto. So it had all this kind of, all these different components. It just was just like a big mush. And I didn't really like the texture of it, but I thought the flavor was fine.

It was like an adult mush bowl, you know what I mean? Like everyone wants a healthy mush bowl, I guess. Ostensibly nutritious. Not me, I don't eat bowls. I get mad when I... My wife loves them. They're just so easy to fucking shovel down your throat and be over with another day of your fucking life. Give me some bread.

I mean, yes. I like bread. If you have good bread, I'll tolerate a bowl. But other than, I need bread. Can I just, I just want to say this. Yeah. The pantry cafe closed. LA institution.

LA institution is closed. As ofitution. LA Institution has closed. As of this recording, it has just closed. It will probably be bought. We'll see if it gets bought, if it gets reopened. But it's one of these places, please finish your thought. 101 years it's open. The dispute is over, I know you want to get into it because it's over union stuff and it's ridiculous

why it's closing or whatever. But 101 years this place is open. It's a great restaurant. The LA fires happened and the real in burns down and, uh, moon shadows. Yeah. Moon shadows, the beloved karaoke bar where, uh, Mel Gibson was there. Mel Gibson got arrested for saying chike to a cop. I was just ordering a drink.

I was actually, I was with Mel that night. I, to be fair, I said, I was one who said sugar tits, but he asked if I wanted anything on the way home. I was saying, you know how like sugar and water for men in black, the Vincent D'Onafrio thing? I was saying like sugar tits. That's what I was trying to say. Right, right, right. It's defensible. Gibson is such a good guy. He took the fall. He took the fall from me. But that place burns down

from the LA fires. Pantry Cafe closes. Cafe Gratitude is just fucking fine. Nothing happens to fucking Cafe Gratitude. I think Cafe Gratitude has like they, again, as I was saying earlier, they have really contracted. They're down to just two locations. I would not be surprised if that was just one location in the semi-near future. They are not thriving as they once were. But it is a bummer that a place like the Pantry Cafe, which is an LA institution that's been around for so long, you'd think that a moment like the LA fires would be like, like, hey,

let's make sure that we preserve this thing. Instead, some fucking asshole company is like, we want to unload this because the employees are union and we can't get them out of their contract. It's horrible. But anyway, it's a, yeah, that sucks. And a meal from the pantry, an absolute delight, great experience, cash only place that servers, some of the servers have been there for like 40 years. It's just a fucking awesome spot that used to be open all night. This bullshit spot, it carries on. So I got the, I am caring. This was to share.

This was the loaded nachos, nacho chips, cashew queso fundito, black beans, chai foods, chorizo, pico de gallo, avocado, spicy pepitas, cashew crema. I added guacamole. This was $21. Isn't chai food chorizo a fake meat? That's what I thought it was.

So they kept saying they don't use fake meat, but I guess they use some. I think chorizo, like now, I know it means sausage in Spanish, but I think now it's a spice mix. Cause I, my wife is a vegetarian and I buy her chorizo spice mix for when she makes food because for soup, she doesn't eat any fake meat.

She just eats vegetables all the time. I don't know how the fuck she does it. A lot of, I feel like long time vegetarians though, they get away from the fake meat because they just like, they don't crave that specifically. Yeah, no, she thinks it seems gross. And I totally get that. I will say that these nachos I ordered

because I thought they were gonna be awful. And I was like, we should will say that these nachos I ordered because I thought they were going to be awful. And I was like, we should try them because we should try something that's, you know, gonna really suck. And I, the benefit of having low expectations, I thought they were not terrible. Like they were, they were okay. They're like the nachos you get in any chain restaurant.

Yes, they do. I mean, they were, they were pretty flavorless. I had to step in, I was getting mad. Everyone was being too chain restaurant. Yes, they do. I mean they were they were pretty Mad I everyone was being too nice to this place. It's so Amelie you took a bite of the fucking nachos. They suck. They were bad, right? Yeah, I think they were uninspired uninspired Yeah, I mean like but uninspired is different from inedible, which is what I was expecting So I guess that's what it's a molyacamole that we added, that we paid extra for. The guacamole went a long way, yes.

It did a lot of work on those nachos. Yes, just having some matching avocado on there. I'll say that about the avocado, it fucking souped, it sogged the shit out. Those tacos, those nachos were just sog, city. Look, would I ever get these again, not for content? Absolutely not. But in this context, I was like,

again, this is not the worst thing I've ever eaten for the podcast. I got the, I for content, absolutely not. But in this context, I was like, I, you know, again, this is not the worst thing I've ever eaten for the podcast. I got the, I am enthusiastic, which I had higher expectations for because this is fundamentally a buffalo chicken sandwich, but with mushrooms, chicken fried mushrooms instead on a brioche bun. This was $20.

I don't know. I thought this was... It didn't taste like buffalo chicken. It didn't taste like buffalo chicken at all. I mean, it didn't just taste like buffalo. I didn't get any I thought this was it didn't taste like buffalo. It didn't taste like buffalo chicken at all. I mean, it tastes like buffalo from it. Yeah. And you know, I'm a bit of a heat seeker. I wanted to have some spice from this. I had some expectations like, hey, if you slather this in in buffalo sauce and a fake vegan ranch, that maybe this thing

will actually have some flavor. Maybe you'll get a little bit something from the fucking French red hot sauce all over for fuck's sake. Yeah, it would have been nice. It needed anything. And instead it was just sort of like a, like a, just sort of a starch pile. I thought it was a pretty- I just realized I'm so pissed off

from this fucking restaurant. I've been pissed off all day and it's this fucking stupid restaurant pissing me off. The other thing I got is the I am precious, which is the smoothie I'm still working on. This is an antioxidant smoothie. This one is part of the medical medium menu, which is produced smoothie I'm still working on. This is an antioxidant smoothie. This one is part of the medical medium menu, which is produced in partnership with Anthony William.

Now, Brian, you also got the medical medium, heavy metal detox smoothie. That's another one that's partnered with this guy. Again, speaks to like this place and kind of the inherent evil behind it. Let me read about Anthony William. Medical medium Anthony William is the number one New York Times bestselling author and chronic illness expert whose advanced healing information

has reframed the natural health movement. Now, Anthony William has no scientific or medical training. He is not a doctor. He's basically one of those guys who's like, celery juice will cure all of your body's ailments. And then if you look through his website, there's an extremely long testimonial section that's all quotes praising him from just our dumbest celebrity. will cure all of your body's ailments. And then if you look through his website, there's an extremely long testimonial section

that's all quotes praising him from just our dumbest celebrities. Like every fucking moron, like fucking Sylvester Stallone is on there, Deborah Messing is on there. It's just, everyone you would expect is endorsing this guy. He has a podcast that's of course way bigger than any of ours. Here's a recent episode of Anthony Williams' podcast

entitled, Los Angeles Fires, Toxic Fallout and Spiritual War. The notes for this episode. Discover why God didn't stop this tragedy and whose plan this all was. Learn about how our faith can fall into question and how miracles occur every minute of every day. Discover how the spiritual war above and around us impacts our lives here on planet earth

And how many times angels have intervened without us realizing it This is the guy already worse than going to Chick-fil-a That's what I was gonna say this is worse than fucking Chick-fil-a people got mad at us for Chick-fil-a. This is worse This is so bad. I can't just can't imagine where the money's going exactly Exactly, yes. Just it's hard to even, cause you know RFK got a lot of this money. For sure, no, this money, the money from this menu, which is this weird conspiracy theorist, this quack is like having this partnership with this chain,

he's probably getting a bunch of money from it, and yeah, he's sending it straight to the fucking RFK. I'm taking- This is bad as Chick-fil-A, to be clear, sorry. But I mean, it just sounds very bad. I'm taking this idea home and making vaccine smooth. I'm just, this is the vaccine smoothing. The cancer vaccine.

This is the kind of guy, I mean, this is the kind of guy who's like, stop taking SSRIs, start drinking celery juice. Like, he's that kind of guy and, you know, whatever. He has like a whole section of the menu. Anyway. Celery juice tastes like shit, though. I guy. And you know, whatever, he has like a whole section of the menu. Anyway. Celery juice tastes like shit though. I thought so bad.

SSRIs taste good. I chewed one one time, I had a total panic attack. Wait, really? Yeah, I was at a concert, my wife's brother's in a band and I went to watch them and I brought my medicine that I take at night with me. And for some reason, I brought my medicine that I take at night with me and for some reason I threw my medicine in my mouth and then I took a drink and had ice in the drink and

I bit and it was straight up just SSR. So and then I convinced myself I was going insane and made her leave her brother's concert. Oh man. But it ended up being okay but it really like it, it tastes, because I used to love pills. So I would eat the pills all the time. You chew on the pills? Oh yeah, I love chewing pills. When I was really-

Was that because you would ingest it quicker or what would happen? Okay, got it. Well, I got my own snort drugs. I just died, I'm weird about like, I'm weird about not wanting to snort things. Oh, smart. That makes sense. So I would chew them, and then I weird about not wanting to snort things. Oh, smart. Makes sense.

So I would chew them, and then I'd convince myself I like the flavor of it. I'm surprised that you're not down with snorting, just as a man who loves throwing up. I figured that you would be okay with snorting. I only did it like once when I was in high school. Somebody brought Coke over the house, and I was like, I'm fucking trying it. But you've done some huffing, but huffing is distinct from snorting. That was a long time ago.

Okay, got it, got it. Yes, it was when I huffed a lot of gas, not a lot of gas growing up, but there was huffing going on quite frequently. We would grab a gas can and we would go to a cemetery in the middle of nowhere and each of us would huff like Ted, and then go running into a cornfield and tackle each other.

That was like a regular thing that we would do. I'm glad I did, because what ended up happening, I told this on guys, is my brother was huffing butane in a car with two of his friends. He was sitting in a car in front of the apartment with two of his friends, and one sitting in a car in front of the apartment with two of his friends, and one of them went to light a cigarette, and a fireball just went back through the whole car,

and the ceiling stuff was dripping onto them. They got really bad burns. They had to go to the emergency room, and the only one that told their parents would, my brother was like, I was out here huffing gas, and somebody lit a cigarette. The other ones came up with reasons like one of them was like I was mowing my I was mowing a friend's lawn And I was smoking a cigarette and it's like that's not first of all happen like two in the morning Yeah, and then I can't remember what the other one was but they both lied and said this is how it happened

Even though the car was like so yeah yeah I got out of huffing like right around that time was like that's a good enough that's good out of that stuff where you can get real drugs like as it become easier to get weed I always think that like now that it's so easy to get weed there's no real point in like doing all the other stuff that was just like kind of a, well, I'm 16. I can't, I can't buy anything. Sure. Yeah.

I heard you can, you know, that's what you drink. That's what you drink. Robot robot us in at that. Yeah. Yes. We did a lot of that. We did the robo trip and I knew this guy that was like, he would just robo trip and he would come over and say, go ahead and punch me.

I don't care. And like people would do it and he would just kind of stand there and take and punch me. I don't care. And like people would do it and he would just kind of stand there and take the punch. Like it was crazy. Yeah. Like, and like, yeah, we got the Anarchist Cookbook. I think if you're like one of those bad kids that got a hold of the Anarchist Cookbook,

then you tried a lot of weird fucking stuff. Sure, yeah. It was also just like a certain age. Like they, like, I feel like everyone of the day at the producers desk is too young for the anarchist cookbook, but there was a time when it was just like, oh wait, this text doc, it's plain text document you would find on like a BBS

would be this thing that would circulate at your school. Some kid would print it out and like everyone would be looking at it. And it was just like, oh, this is how to do every bad kid thing. Yeah, this is, they had it at the library, but only one copy. Oh wow.

It was like the main library. So to drive downtown to get it. And yeah, we would go up had it at the library, but only one copy. Oh wow main library So to drive downtown to get it and my yeah We would go up there and like run off but like how to smoke banana peels, which is none of it is real Yeah, so much of its fake. Yeah, yeah, cuz they're dry out these banana peels and smoke them It'll get you fucked up. So we would do that and I wouldn't do anything But then you would sit around and go I I think I feel so, I think I feel fucked up. You know what I mean? Would you be down to review gas with us on Doughboyz?

I would do some gas, yeah. We used to make napalm with it too, right? Like, you would get, you would get styrofoam and you'd pour gasoline on it and it would like jelly it up. I remember a friend trying to make this. Yeah, we made it a few times. That actually worked. Oh, that worked.

That burned some hands, yeah. I actually hung out with this guy that had gunpowder because he'd go hunting with his dad and he went in his house, he came out, he was like, check out all this gunpowder I have. And we were like, that's cool, what are we gonna do with it? He was like, check this out.

And he poured it in like a pile, like this big. And there was a porta potty close by and he grabbed some toilet paper to use as a fuse. And it just got his hand. Like, his hand was fucking hot. Because toilet paper takes like two seconds to light up. Yeah, of course. Yeah.

He just lit it and it just got his. It was crazy. We burned ourselves up. Did it explode or just burn the shit out of it? It was melting. Oh my God. It was very gross looking. I never forgot how gross that looked.

Jesus Christ, yeah. Yeah, we used to hurt ourselves. We were very into the... Don't do any of this stuff at home, for sure. Yeah, very into it when I was a teenager. We were just, I hung out with a lot of bad kids. We were bad. I remember doing, I remember drinking Robitussin.

I went upstairs and my dad was watching thin red line and just being like, I can't handle watching this right now. And I was with my other friend and his dad came and my dad was watching him walk out and he just walked like three feet and fell over onto my lawn. And then I used to, air gun, I would take little spurts of air gun for a while.

Oh, yeah. Not Whippets. It was Air Duster. Whippets, too. That's like the worst stuff. If you're a listener and you're thinking about trying, don't ever do any of the aerosol stuff. It's so bad.

I hate Whippets. What was it you did at the Power Hour? Were you doing Whippets? I did do Whippets. I did. There was a moment. There was a Whippets moment a few years ago.ets a little bit. Yeah. There was a moment, there was a Whippets moment a few years ago, not too long ago.

Yeah, it came back, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's so, all that shit's so bad for your brain. It just is like destroying your brain. Yeah, yeah. What I'll say is this, you know, this quack fake doctor anti-vax, fucking dipshits smoothie was the least horrible, I think, of the things that I ate.

Like I thought it was like, this is drinkable. I'm sipping on it here. It's like, yeah, it's banana dates, orange juice, cherries, wild blueberry powder. That's a pretty straightforward thing. You would get it like a quench or a Robax or any of these juice places. It's like a fine execution of it.

You are both correct that it does not really have much flavor, but it's drinkable. Whereas- It would probably be like $10 cheaper. It would be cheaper or an Arowan would be more expensive. But the- Much better though. But it would be better at Arowan.

The nachos I thought were whatever, but they certainly weren't good. And the chicken, the Buffalo chicken sandwich, I thought was a huge disappointment. I thought all three of my menu items were pretty, like two forks at best. You weirdly didn't like the pancakes, which seems like they were the most normal things there.

I hate them, I was like, these are pancakes. The pancakes were fine. That they had maple syrup helped it. But I didn't like that fake ricotta, like that nut, I don't really like the nut cheeses. I hate it. And I just don't feel like any of them work. The only fake cheese I feel like works well

is like the fake American cheese you'll get on like a Monte's burger, like a vegan burger. Like some of those I feel like work. I haven't never had fake cheese cause it weirds me out. So many of the cheese sauces, like what they put on the nachos, I thought absolutely did not work. And the thing that they were trying to approximate a ricotta texture and flavor, and it just,

it just absolutely did not work for me. Even though I don't necessarily, I don't mind fake milks. Like, but- I eat oat milk, I have oat milk all the time. This is an oat milk latte I'm sipping on right now. I like, I'm fine with fake milks. It's just the fake cheeses, I feel like it's, I don't know, none of those work for me.

It's weird, I said this before, but we should kind of probably be weirded out by real cheese more than cashews. Actual cheese is insane. It's an insane thing to eat. It's gross, but I- I like it. I do too, I love it.

I like it too. It's delicious. Yeah, I like it too. So do the owners of Cafe Gratitude. Everyone likes real cheese. Is it eating a real good cheeseburger at their house right now? Yeah, exactly.

While you're eating, I am thankful. I'm so unfair. their house. Yeah, exactly. What you're eating, I am thankful. So unfair. Anything else to say about this chain? Is there any food we missed? What did the deus think? Anyone have any hits or misses over there? I mean, I got a I am resourceful salad and it was, you know, it was a delicious salad.

I don't know if I'm not going to like go back and find it again. But if someone was like, we're doing this for lunch, I'd probably get another salad, but that's pretty much it It's probably the thing to order from there if you end up in whatever There's a pretty unique use case But like if you're in LA and your office is doing an order from cafe I said I'd be so mad at the fucking person who says cafe gratitude for lunch Yeah, so mad at you, but I think if you got like the what was the salad you got Emma?

Yeah, if you got the I am resourceful salad, it's it's if you got like the, what was the salad you got Emma? I am resourceful. Yeah, if you got like the I am resourceful salad, it's a butternut squash and kale salad with a balsamic Dijon dressing. That's probably gonna be fine. I am torn because I'm like a vegan, look, vegan, there's people who are vegans who are in rooms and they need to eat too or whatever.

I'm just saying like, if you're with a group of people, there's just so many vegan places that I think are better. I just feel like they're, yeah, they're better vegan options. Yeah, go to a place with options rather than force everybody to eat. I mean, like, it's not that hard to dump a bunch of vegetables into a bowl and say, here you go.

Yeah, and this is the thing I was like, there's like great vegan Indian food and vegan Thai food. It's like, it's like, you can find stuff, you can get Pad Thai with tofu and that's a vegan dish and that's delicious. Like that's really good if well made. You don't need the fake ass nachos with a bunch of different hyper processed components

to approximate food with meat and dairy in it. What was that place, the farms place or something? I went with Sus, it's like in Beverly Hills. Bristol Farms? Was it Britain? No, not. The grocery store? No, not the grocery store. Farmer's daughter?

Farmer's daughter. Yeah, farmer's daughter. Or what was it? Butcher's daughter. Butcher's daughter. That's what it is, yes. And I was like, I liked Butcher's daughter way more. Butcher's daughter is way better, yeah.

Way more than Cafe Gratitude. Butcher's daughter is also the kind of place that's taking the space that Cafe Gratitude wants occupied. They're like, hey, we can do a place that's even more, it's a little bit more twee, and it's a little bit more upscale, and we're just gonna take this market from you. But I think that's a better version of this for sure.

It's less corny. Less corny for sure. Like the menu items are just so corny. So corny. It's, and it does feel like a guy who's not a vegan being like, this is the kind of shit they like. Exactly, that's exactly what it feels like. The vibe of it to me is more of that was like,

let's just give them that shit. I'm grateful. They'll love it. The names also don't. They have nothing to do with what the food actually is. So if you're just reading the names on the menu, I have no idea what I just read. Like, I have to go through all of the descriptions.

But then now I'm like, wait, what was the name of that salad I thought I wanted? And it kind of was reading the menu made me want to just jump out the window. That's a great point. They're not like puns on ingredients Yeah, I have no clue what the I am resourceful is. I feel tofu-rific. That's got a tofu base or something It's like it's nothing like that. There's no connection to it. You just have to remember what the fuck I am enthusiastic means I am tofu-rific? Yeah I am tofu-rific-ish. I was like did they have that?

I was like, did they have that? Abelia, any thought? Oh, I can't remember, what you got? I got the I am whole, W-H-O-L-E. Right. It was. I would have ordered I am whole. Of course. I am whole.

I am whole. It was a very colorful dish, but it was very bland and boring and yeah, kind of like baby food for adults. You know what? That's a good point. It's everything needs like seasoning, but I think probably part of this place is like, oh, we're like, oh, we're not going to have any added sodium or whatever, but like then

you just end up with food that's missing flavor. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like sweet greens does basically what this does. That's missing flavor. Yeah, exactly, yeah, I don't know. I feel like Sweet Greens does basically what this does. That's another thing, if you want, you can get a vegan meal from Sweet Green, that'd be way better than anything you get

from Cafe Gratitude and cheaper. Although I'm kind of worried about Sweet Greens, there's one two blocks from my apartment in Ohio. It's like, they opened one in Ohio, and then the next month their big menu item was ranch. And I was like, oh no, I think we got a hold of the sweet greens, Peter. We should get to our final thoughts on Cafe Gratitude.

Brian, you know how this works, we'll just refresh, we'll each go around, we'll give a closing argument on this chain and give it a score from zero to five forks. You are our guest seated to my left. We'll begin with you. Your thoughts, your fork score on Cafe Gratitude. I'm going to have, I'll give it two forks.

Yeah. But only because I ate the late, I ate waffles and pancakes and they were good. Right. But they were just waffles and pancakes. And I would give it, maybe one and a half because like the stuff in the jar was good. Like I would just buy the jar and eat it.

I was very happy with the jar. The jar did look good. I wish you got to try it on the waffles, I felt bad. No, it was fine. Yeah, but like I'll say one and a half because it's not good at all, but I got very inoffensive stuff. Yeah, I think you were pretty savvy with your order. It's not good at all, but I got very inoffensive stuff.

Yeah, I think you were pretty savvy with your order. I looked at everything else and said, I'll never eat any of this stuff. Like, I was like, because I told you, I got the email that we were doing Cafe Gratitude, and I was like talking to my wife and daughter, and she was like, oh my god, my daughter knew the place. And that's like, it must God, my daughter like knew the place. Yeah.

And that's like, it must have, there must be some tick tock thing going on with it because you said it's not really cool anymore. No, but how would a 20 like my daughter's 20 lives in Ohio and was like, Oh, that's the place that I am happy bowls. It's gross. I would not be surprised if it's spread online for because of the it's it's obnoxious menu naming convention But I think also there's an element of like like this place like squirrel

Which is another hyper local LA chain that I feel like had like has some national awareness So much better girls better than this but it girl had the the mold moldy jam Yeah, and it still is so much fucking better than Give me the squirrel squirrel at least has like edible stuff. I think because it's so notoriously expensive and also has some scandals associated with it, I think that's partly why it's like, there's maybe some awareness outside the city.

I think a lot of people also like outside of LA, like hear about a place like Cafe Gratitude and they're like, that sounds about right. Exactly, yeah. Because I grew up, I used to say, I don't know why I said this, I grew up in Ohio, I never really left when I was a kid. And I used to be like, I think I'm more like

a New York kind of guy, you know? I think the LA, I don't need that LA bullshit. I just remember saying that when I'd been to neither place. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Then when I finally did, I was like, I think I like the LA bullshit. Yeah. Like I like LA a lot more than I like New York

because of the weather. But I just remember thinking like, there's this California thing where it's like, that menu wouldn't seem so weird. It would seem weird to me. Like everything out here seems, like when you don't, when you've never been here, you don't live here, everything seems like weird

and like hippie dippy. And you're like, I don't like that shit. This is like the outsider's perspective on LA. You're right. Like it's like, you think of a place like Cafe Gratitude. If they made Die Hard today, Bruce Willis, the, you know, he comes to LA, he's like, what the fuck is this town?

He'd like end up at a Cafe Gratitude or something. You're like, what the fuck? You know what I mean? Like it's a kind of thing of- What's going on in Die Hard? What the fuck is this town? What the fuck? I'm at Cafe Gr a diehard what the fuck is this? It's like presented as like hey that you know symbolic of this culture clash but like like we were saying earlier like there's a lot of

you know LA also has a place like like you know diners fried chicken or the pantry or or you know, what or blood. So is barbecue or Roscoe's or fat burger. I like all these places that have that are just like fucking delicious. And all these fucking places we could have gone. Yeah. Oh, I'd go nuts for fat burger. I get it every time I come here. And most of the time, like, wasn't that good. But then I get it. I'm like, I remember liking that. Fat burger is pretty fucking good.

That burger is pretty locational dependent. We should revisit fat burger because we haven't been since the second year. We should go now. Yeah, fat burger, in and out. I get in and out every time, but I think it's good. But I don't think it's as special. You were saying Ohio is not as much of a,

or at least Columbus is not as much of a burger place. There isn't like a local like burger place. The institution. The Insta, Wendy's, yeah. There's all the big institution there is called Thurman's. Thurman's. And it is a huge, I hate huge burgers. Like the, it's like the thick.

Oh yeah. Big, huge burger. And like, I like smash burgers, like basically exclusively. If I go somewhere'm with you. Huge burger, and like, I like Smashburgers, like basically exclusively. If I go somewhere and they don't have it, I don't get it. There was a place that was like a pop-up called El Royale or something, and it's corny.

It was like a Quentin Tarantino thing, and they had cheeseburgers, but they were really good. They were like using Wagyu beef and stuff like that. And that was good, but they were really good. They're like using wagyu beef and stuff like that and that was good, but it's gone now but yeah Thurman's has like Really thick big burgers and it's just not that good. It's like eating a fucking meatloaf, right? Meatloaf is good, too I'm not saying that like you know

But it's like eating a meatloaf between two pieces of bread and it just isn't I don't I don't like it And that's the only place I can really think of. Like I grew up going to Fuddruckers as like the top highest level. Yeah, I wish they had it here. I wish they had it at- There was one up in Burbank and it's gone now. Yeah, they closed like two LA Fuddruckers

like since the pandemic. All right, Mitch, your thoughts? It's funny you say that because you like fat burger, but fat burger isn't thick. It's just kind of like a big patty. Yeah, it's not as, because you like fat burger, but fat burger isn't thick, it's just kind of like a big patty. It's a big patty. Yeah, it's not as, I think like it's novel. I think if I lived here, I'd never have it.

I don't eat it too often, but I know I haven't had In-N-Out as long as I've had fat burger probably, which I should, I'd like both of them. Yeah. I don't mind in it now, I don't like the fries, but like I think it's pretty good, and I don't need any, if I order a burger ever,

I get rid of the special sauce. I like hate special sauce. Oh, wow. I don't like mayonnaise and special sauce is always just something with mayonnaise. It's an aioli basically. Wait, so you're saying you don't like eggs. So that extends to mayonnaise

and then that also extends to mayonnaise-based dressings. Yeah, mayonnaise grosses me out. Like I remember, I have like a really weird like nightmare vision of like mayonnaise in a sweaty jar. Like you see, like if you go to a barbecue and they put the mayonnaise on the table for the burgers and stuff, and it's that sweaty jar,

it's just disgusting to me to even, I find mayonnaise to be disgusting. Yeah, I love this stuff. Yeah, I mean, everybody- Sweaty jar of Mayonnaise is probably where both of these hosts have been described at some point in their lives. Everybody I grew up with loved it.

We would go to rallies, which I don't think you guys had. We have, we do have rallies out here. Oh, no, we have rallies. We have rallies. The checkers we don't have. Yeah, checkers we don't have. And when we would order, they would order, everybody's at the same time, and it would be

Big Buford with just cheese and mayonnaise. And I hated it, but they would always get it from me. The Big Buford. Yeah, Big Buford. They had a Western burger, but my friends were like, it's too hard to order one of those. You know, you gotta get everything the same. So I had to like scrape off the mayonnaise

all the time of that. And I just found it. And they get Whoppers, I mean, they just didn't eat vegetables. They didn't want any vegetables on their burger. They just want mayonnaise and cheese. So it was like all the guys I grew up with. That was like their thing. Burger King might've been my segue into, my segue, what is it?

My, you know what I'm saying? What are you trying to say? My doorway into, gateway drug of like burgers with lettuce. Because the Whopper for me, I was like, oh, I like the tomatoes and onions on this burger. doorway into gateway drug of like burgers with lettuce. Cause the whopper for me, I was like, oh, I like the tomatoes and onions on this burger. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I am cranky today.

And I was saying with this restaurant, that's been, it's been a long week. I just don't, I wasn't excited about this restaurant and you know what? It fucking sucked. It was bad. I'm not, I wasn't happy after we ate it. We're look, we're also doing some munch madness stuff right now. And that is been a pain in the ass. And I'm not, I'm not happy. I'm not happy.

I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I'm not, I wasn't happy after we ate it. We're, look, we're also doing some munch madness stuff right now and that has been a pain in the ass, but I was like, I'd rather just take bites of that fucking bullshit today than eat the, like, you know what I mean? Like we've eaten it already so much, but I'd rather just have other,

I'd rather eat another fucking cheesy Gordita crunch or whatever, of course I would. This place, it sucks for so many reasons that you've already listed and I can't, if you're a vegan, I think that you would, there's probably things to have here and it's an option to go and have it, but for me it's one and a half forks. Fuck cafe gratitude. Fuck that place. It's, Amelia would have had to, if you went and picked it up, you would have had to sail that bullshit to them. Is that true? They do.

Like order it online? I did have it, yeah. I mean, people just order it online, but I remember when it- It seems like delivery is like their thing now. They do a lot of that. Okay. Right. I do remember when I was working in at Funny or Die,

and it was an open floor plan and one of the producers called in an order and was just like, yeah, I'll take an I am caring. And the whole fucking, everyone in the office just laughed at him to the point where he had to apologize over the phone to the Guy Cafe gratitude. So yeah, they do abide by that. I mean, I think that that's obnoxious in of itself.

Whatever, if there was, if still like at its heart, this place was authentic. Like I felt like, you know what, these are well-meaning hippies who are a little bit, you know, a little bit out there. They're a little bit kooky. They're a little bit annoying, but this comes from a place of earnestness. This comes from a place of like,, of like, like we really do believe in the plant based food and that that's our ethos and we do believe in people, you know, being mindful and having self esteem and we want to have that come across in our menu.

Like if that was really where this came from, then I'd be like, you know what, I can kind of roll my eyes a little bit, but, but I'm fine with it, whatever I think of the food. But I don't feel like that's what's at the heart of this concept. I feel like this is a really just calculated thing to try to get a certain demographic and sort of be like, hey, we're on your side, give us your money.

And I do feel like the people who are behind this chain are the same sort of aging hippies who have just like, we're talking napalm earlier, just like drop napalm over the country and then just retired to their estates because they were just like, whatever, we don't give a shit. We were hippies, we aged into rich Republicans and we got ours and we don't give a sh...

Like that's all this was about. I just don't feel like, I don't think there's anything sincere behind this. And again, you mentioned Chick-fil-A earlier. It's like, I feel like it's the same sort of thing from a different angle, but it's the same sort of like this place, what they're doing seems actively destructive.

And it seems like this company has like some, this company has some like, you know, just shitty things in terms of its business practices. And honestly, I'd rather work for Chick-fil-A than work for Cafe Gratitude, because it seems like that's a better situation for an employee. I think the food was pretty bad today.

It was not as terrible as I thought, but because I overall just kind of just, just don't like this place and I don't like that it exists, and I wish failure upon it, I'm gonna go one fork. I think this is a one fork. Wow, you're a bottom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, shit.

I also, I think you both got like an entree that was like actual food is the other thing, yeah. You know what it reminds, it weirdly reminds me of like when I was growing up, like cartoons. Yeah. You would watch for just made by guys that were like sitting in a room smoking cigarettes.

Right. And being like, ah, who cares, it's fucking toys. Yeah. And like, I think of that, it's the same cynical kind of behavior. Very cynical, yes, that's the right word, yes, for sure. Now they're like, oh, these fucking vegans, they love mindfulness.

And... It sucks, a broken play club or is that right? Yeah, it's in the broken play club. Broken play club. Sub two forks all around. Hey, that was our review of Cafe Gratitude, it's time for a segment. I've got some food related jingles

and Mitch and Brian must determine which year they came out. It's another edition of Jingle All the Way, spelled W-H-E-Y. Wow. Music compiled as always by the drop king, Robert Persinger, who, Mitch, I have a new nickname for, King of the Jingle. I like it.

He preps Jingle All the Way, King of the Jingle. King Jing. King Jing. King Jingle All The Way, King of the Jingle. King Jing. King Jing. King Jing is in the Chike area. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna mail you guys Chike. Yeah, you're gonna mail, please mail us Chike.

We're sorry for our TikTok where we tried Chike. Yeah. We thought, it like worries you because it's also like a fitness brand. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, is this a trick? The rules of Jingle All the Way, the closest guess without going over wins a point.

If you guess the year exactly, you get two points. That's the Arden Marine rule. If the game ends in a tie, the guest wins. That's the Mitch Kenner rule. If the second guesser can guess a movie from the first guesser's year correctly, they get a point. That's the Murder Brian rule, which you can only do once per game.

And on top of that, if you can also make the movie guess a food pun that doesn't have to be explained, you get an extra point. That's the Zach Cherry rule. Uh, since our last time playing this game, that also can be done once per game. Uh, Kate Berlant holds the record for most points with nine and is a lone member of the jingle all the way hall of fame, which I forgot existed. And again, uh, from Columbus, Ohio's own Wendy's, that's the source of today's jingles. Let's play the first one. So wait, you guess a movie from the year that it came out?

Yes, you guess the movie from the year. So like I say- You say the answer and then we guess the movie from the year. Yes, exactly. I say- No, I think you guess the year from the, the movie from the year the other person guessed. I guess 2024 and then you can guess Emilia Perez.

And then if I want to get an extra point, I can say- A-meel-me-a-al. Perez, yeah, exactly. So that's both rules and actions. Emilia Perez. Okay, great. Okay, great. All right, here comes the first one.

Wait, you can do that after that? No, I can't do it. Okay, whatever. We'll figure this out as we go along. If you can also make the guess a food pun as you make your guess, you get an extra point. Yes, that's what you have to do. But you're guessing on the other person's year.

Okay. Okay, here we go. Let's slogans. Wendy's makes them fresh each day. Serves them up to you hot off the grill. 256 way. The way a good restaurant will. We have the taste. Wendy's has the taste. Wendy's old fashioned hamburger taste. We have the taste. That Wendy's taste. We have the taste. That Wendy's taste. God, man, we used to make things in this country. That's so good.

Those burgers looked really good. They looked really fucking good. Very un-Wendy's like. They looked, that was good as hell. All right, who wants to go first? Brian, I'll give you the option to go first or second. I'll say 1981. So you go first, you'll say 1981.

That's your guess. If you had said 1982, I would have said... Eat tea. But you said 1981, so I'm not, I should know 1981 movies. But I'm gonna say, I'm gonna be a real asshole and say 1982. Mitch, you went in the wrong direction. Unfortunately, you're both over. This 1980 was the year Wendy's has the taste.

Yeah. You were close. All right, no one gets a point. Next up, Your Choice. These old-fashioned hamburgers, they're cooked to order just for you. Your choice. We'll make your hamburgers however you say. Your choice. 256 different ways.

Choose a single, a quarter pound, a double, a half pound, a triple, three quarter pounds of meat. Your choice. Down at Wendy's, where was an animated spot. Definitely looks, I mean, that looks like a transfer from film, so that maybe gives you some sense of when this was made. Cinema. I mean, again, Wags, your first comment fits here too. We used to be a country.

Yeah, I know. I'm going to go with this one. Again, Wags, your first comment fits here too. We used to be a country. Yeah, I know. I'm gonna go with this one. Yeah, Mitchell gets first. With the animated burgers and animated Wendy. There was a lot of cigarette smoking guys who came up with that thing, I'm sure. I'm gonna say, 1975.

1975 for the spoon man. Which you can't, I said a big movie year. I feel bad cause I was always playing to say 1974. Oh really, that's okay. It was always from the beginning. I thought you were gonna say four and I was like damn, I got a couple of them. 1975, but also if you wanna do our movie rule,

you can guess a movie. But you only do that once per game. You can only do it once per game. Yeah, but also if you wanna do our movie rule, you can guess a movie. But you only do that once per game. You can only do it once per game. Yeah, I probably shouldn't do that on 75. Do you know, there's a big one from 75. Probably like the Godfather, the Godfather's Pizza? Maybe. I don't know.

You know what, I'm not gonna push you into it. You should do one that you know. Well, we'll give you a mulligan on that one and we will give Mitch two points because that was 1975. He got it on the dot. Jaws was the movie I was thinking from 1975. Oh, and that's already a food pun. Yeah, what do you say?

Big jaws? What the fuck do you say? I think it's big jaws. Big jaws? Big jaws. Chewing jaw, what the fuck? How do you make jaws a pun? Jaws breaker is pretty good Big Jaws. Big Jaws? Big Jaws. Chewing Jaws? What the fuck? How do you make Jaws a pun?

Jaws Breaker is pretty good. Jaws Breaker. Thank you. I'm the rule master. Who knows the answers? All right. Okay. Next up, this is a spot called Your Wendy's Kind of People.

You want something better, yeah, you won't take second best. You want it delicious, for you there's nothing left to lose. You want it delicious, for you there's nothing left to lose. You want it delicious, for you there's nothing left to lose. You want it delicious, for you there's nothing left to lose. You want it delicious, for you there's nothing left to lose. You want it delicious, for you there's nothing left to lose. You want it delicious, for you there's nothing left to lose.

You want it delicious, for you there's nothing left to lose. You want it delicious, for you there's nothing left to lose. You want it delicious, for you there's nothing left to lose. You want it delicious, for you there's nothing left to lose. You want it delicious, for you you won't take second best. You want it delicious, for you there's nothing less than Wendy's. Hot and juicy, hamburgers, fresh off the grill. Nothing else will satisfy you, like Wendy's will. That's why you're Wendy's kind of people. You want something better, you're Wendy's kind of people. You want something better, you're Wendy's kind of people. Wow.

It's amazing that all these jingles are bangers and we don't even have the Hot Drinks one on here, which is like the all-timer. If we wanna look up over there, we wanna see if we can pull up the Wendy's Hot Drinks jingle for later. But this one apparently features Rita Wilson. I didn't see Rita Wilson in there.

I'm not sure if y'all spotted her. Can you zoom through that again? I wanna see Rita Wilson here. You don't need Rita in there. That's not her, no. Oh, there she is. There she is. She's a cheerleader.

Look at that. Wow. Look at that. A young Rita Wilson, wow. There you go. All right, a brain- Young Tom Hanks' eyes were, right? Isn't that who, isn't that, is it Rita Wilson? Yeah, it's Tom Hanks, yeah.

Was this when they were dating? I wonder. No. I don't think so. I don't think so. I'm gonna say 1983 because where's the beef? It's like a 1984 or five area. So I'm going to say 1983 again, 1983, 83 once, but 1983. Now it looks eighties to me.

I'm not, I'm not, this isn't my answer, but would I say, are you trying to guess a movie? Yes. Okay. Are you trying to guess a movie? Yes. Okay. Are you trying to come up with a movie pun as you guess it? As I was trying to come up with return of the, this is not my answer. Okay.

But I was trying to think of a pun for return of the Jedi. Return of the bread eye? Return of the bread eyes really good. But I'm wondering is return of the Jedi 1984 Return of the Bread Eye? Return of the Bread Eye is really good. But I'm wondering, is Return of the Jedi 1984? I don't know. Anyway, I'm just not going to do it. And I'm going to say, fuck, where's the beef is a great point. But were they just running similar?

I'm going to go a little later. I'm going to say 1980, based on Rita Wilson. That's also something to think of. Yeah, Rita Wilson. I just kept thinking about that rich looking guy in the middle with that gray hair. It's definitely 80s. You can tell that people are fucking,

well, people fucked in the 80s. Yeah, they loved fucking. People fucked in the 70s. It's a little cozier, I guess. You can tell the 80s have come around. They invented fucking in 72. I'm gonna go 1985. 1985 is the guess.

You both overshot it, 1982. I knew it was 80. The year of my birth. 1982. Jaws. 1982. Yeah. Okay, next up. E.T. 1982. Jaws. 1982. Yeah. OK, next up. No one gets a point there.

Eat, eat, eat, eat. No one gets a point there. It's still 2-0, Mitch. Next up. I just said 1982 is my birth year. This is the good stuff is the name of this ad. It's gasoline. When they steal a classic hamburger.

This is the good stuff. The soft Kaiser bun, the fat tomatoes. It's gasoline. Wendy's new big classic hamburger. That's my... The soft Kaiser bun, the fat tomatoes, the fresh toppings, the fresh beef. Oh, they got it in Canada. Wendy's new big classic. Wendy's new big classic.

Can't get enough, this is his good stuff. I'm trying to remember to place the, and I know I'm not playing, but I'm trying to place the big classic. I was a big bacon classic. That was my sandwich. Oh, I like the big bacon classic too. Did they not make the big bacon classic anymore?

No, no classics. The classic's gone, but I'm trying to remember the introduction of the big classic. What the fuck is happening? I freaking hate her. They just are, they put all their eggs in the baconator basket. I got nothing against the baconator, but it's just, you know.

Bring back the big bacon classic. Yeah, they should, they should. Come on. They also, they- I'm pissed off what you just did there. Wendy's has gotten too fancy with their sandwiches where they're just like, we've got our new- That's fancier than the Baconator.

No, no, what I mean is they're putting too many components on things. They're like, we got our new ghost pepper spicy jack. You know, it's like, you're doing, stop doing all this fancy shit. It's fake though, it's like Pringles. You know what I mean? I don't need all this.

I don't need your SpongeBob collab. Is this me? Which the creator didn't even want. Yes, you're first this time. I think this is the first, I think this is the same year crystal clear Pepsi came out. It feels so similar. I'm going to say 1990 exactly.

Mitch says 1990. I'm going to say 1992. 1992 is the guess. It might be a little late. I thought you said 1990 also. And I was like, I don't think you can. I wish. So this one's maybe a little bit hard to crack

because for our audio listeners, so much of what we were seeing there was just closeups of food. So there weren't a lot of necessarily, you know, like super clear indicators of chronology. This one actually came out in 1986. So again, you both overshot it. Wow.

Yeah. Whoa, that's way earlier than that. We're doing really bad. It's two to zero. You have one more. One more opportunity still. One more We're doing really bad. This way earlier. It's two to zero. You have one more, one more opportunity to steal anyone's game. One more?

Yep. All right. This is nine for 99 cents. New bacon cheeseburger tastes so fine. Wendy's got nine for 99. I ain't telling you no lies. Biggie drink and biggie fries. Chili chicken nuggets, garden salad to go.

Wendy's got nine for 99. Large frosty baked potato. Wendy's got 9 for 99. Large frosty baked potato. Wendy's got 9 for 99. And don't forget the new double cheeseburger. Introducing a great value from Wendy's. Nine big menu items for 99 cents each. Every day. Wendy's got 9 for 99.

Biggie sized fries in there it looks like. God, what a 99 cents menu that was. That little boy doing that deep voice would have been the funniest thing in the world to me when I was a kid. 100%. Anytime I saw something like that. It was so funny, yeah.

Yeah, so there's the moment where that bass voice comes in that is like, they had a little boy voice in that. It's great. Who's first this time? Mitch. It's Mitch again. Oh no, is it? Ah, damn. Who is here, is it? Ah, damn.

Who is here, is it? I'm gonna say- Yeah, you started, so it would be back to you, Brian. I'm going to say, I'm just gonna say 1992 again. No, that's a little, 1987. 1987 is your guess. Fuck, first of all, I gotta,

I haven't guessed a movie. I have trouble remembering specific years. 1987. I don't know if I can know. 1987. I'm going to say from 1987. All right, Mitch is, I think, 1987. All right, Mitch is, I think, crafting a, either trying to decide what movie you're going to say

and or crafting a food-related pun. It's a combo of the two. Okay, I've got IMDB open so I can verify the release year when you're ready. Man, I don't know, this is hard, because I just off the top of my, hmm, 1987. I'm gonna go with, did Predator come out this, that year, 87?

Predator. Oh. Your guess is Predator. And did you have, do you have a year you're going to guess for the movie, for the ad itself? The ad I'm gonna guess is, you said 1992? 1987.

Oh, I liked your guess of 1992. I'm gonna go 1994. The rap is just a little too 80s for me, but. Brian gets a point because this came out in 1990. Fuck. Yeah, I think it was, I think it's the kind of thing, Brian, where it's like, yeah, the rap is very 80s, but these things always lag behind a little bit

by the time ads caught up to it. So Brian gets a point there. Mitch, you do not get a point for the year, but you get two points for your pun on Predator, 1987's film that you call Predator. Predator. Wow, well done. Mitch wins four to one, a spirited contest.

Can we play this hot drinks one a little bit? This is a Wendy's ad that I love. Is this an ad? I'm sorry, this is a training video from 1989. Hot drinks. Hot drinks. Hot drinks. Hot drinks. Hot drinks. Hot drinks. Hot drinks.

Hot drinks. Coffee, decaf, hot tea, and hot chocolate. Those are like a tank of. Those are the hot drinks that you serve. So get set. Hot cups, they come in two sizes. Small and large, it fell high as the needle need arises coffee's holding time is 30 minutes

that's how long it can stay there before it starts it takes too strong hot hot careful when you pour it hold it steady upon the counter let it sit pour it in until the coffee reaches the line Pop a top on and get so lit Every time Wendy's coffee tastes so fine Hot drinks really get you going Warm you up when you feel you're slowing Wendy's, we always serve it right away Have a smile and have a nice day.

Nice to see you. What a fucking bop. It's good. It's good as hell. It's so good. Thank you for blowing that up, Emma. That is wild. That is wild.

Also, can you imagine sitting in your training at Wendy's, and they just slap that on? And you're just like, all right, coffee. I worked at McDonald's for a period of time, and I remember their videos being really funny, but they left me in the room by myself. I just kind of fell asleep. I accidentally got hired at McDonald's.

It was like my first job. I was being a dick. I was 16 and I was at lunch and McDonald's was there like having people fill out applications at the school. I was like, I'm going to go make fun of these guys. I was like, hey, guys, we're gonna McDonald's and stuff like that. And they're like, here's an application, you're hired.

I was like, okay, well now I'm at McDonald's. I know another fast food or another chain restaurant job you had is a chain that we recently reviewed with our buddy, Griffin Newman, but I know you worked at Chuck E. Cheese. I did. How long did you work at Chuck E. Cheese for? About a year.

Yeah. And was part of your job, correct, was tracking how many kids entered and left? Yes, I did kid check. I'm so bad at it. And they shouldn't put a 16 year old, No. Guy that does drugs at 16.

Yeah. And smokes. I was taking smoke breaks at Chuck E. Cheese when I was 16 years old. Right. And they were like, yeah, you're in charge of like stamping people's hands. Jesus. So that they, kids leave with the same parents every time.

I was like, nothing bad ever happened, right? Nothing bad ever happened. I just gave everybody the same number. Like I never changed the number. Everybody that went in there, cause it was a black light. So you couldn't even see it. So I just never gave anybody a different number.

And then when they'd be leaving, I'd be like, let me see. I don't want to go ahead. You know what I mean? I never really paid attention. I did that. I'm like very, with jobs with me, I'm so bad at working. Yeah.

I ended up doing Chucky most of the time when I was there. You were wearing the mascot suit. Yeah, because more time you, more times smoking, because like Chucky is only out there for 15 minutes an hour. Right. So you go back into the back room, you smoke cigarettes for 40 minutes, and then you go back in with the Chucky costume back on,

and yay, you know, and go back and smoke some more. Ha ha ha. I did the same when I was a refur. It's so funny to me that you could have been the man inside of like a child, for me, like as a child. Yeah, yeah. I got beat up the first time I did it. It was, I didn't get beat, I could have beat those kids up. They weren't like tough. Yeah.

But they were punching the shit out of me and the manager came and was like, this doesn't happen all the time. I only saw it happen one other time. A bunch of kids jumped on this girl that was in the Chuckie costume and started fighting. We get her back in the back room. The guy's like, I didn't get my Chuckie time. He needs to come out and take a picture with my kids by the limo.

They took a limo to Chuckie G's. Oh my God. So they made me put the costume on and go out and stand with the guy who's just beat up Chuck up by the limo. But yeah, I did that because it was the least amount of work. I also fixed games. Like I'm actually, that'd be a job I could go back to

probably just in the game room, just fixing games, playing them like, oh, I'm testing skee ball. I got real good at skee ball when I worked there. That's awesome. And the basketball, I'm not good now. Yeah, yeah. Cause I've been getting all, you'm testing skee ball. I got real good at skee ball when I worked there. That's awesome. And the basketball. I'm not good now. Yeah, yeah. Because I've been getting all you get a lot of reps.

Yeah, I was dead. Well, I was right next to the kid check stand. We just do that the whole time. We played. It was broken, though. Well, I almost said the great outdoors for my 1987 movie. It was 1988. Wow. Good you went with Predator. I want to give you a for my 1987 movie it was 1988. Wow good you went with predator. I want to give you a few other ones that are that year. Okay great. Full mealtole jacket. Pretty good.

You're not getting points for this man. No no no hamburger hill which I guess doesn't even need a doesn't need a pun. Hamburger hill purr. That's good. That's good. We give you can we give can we give points? Yeah bring us a a point. Frank gets another point. Thank you for the point. Vinod, update the wiki. Good morning, Vietnam, nom, nom. That's really good. The loss, the empire of the bun.

Bun? All right, that's it. Christian Bale's first movie. Christian Bale's first movie. He's just a little boy in that movie. Yeah. But a lot of good 87 movies, I didn't realize. Bill Clinton would have liked.

Bill Clinton definitely. Just like a restaurant via our feedback, let's open the feedback. We have a voice maker. But a lot of good 87 movies I didn't realize. Just like. Clinton would have liked. Bill Clinton definitely. Just like a restaurant via feedback. Let's have the feedback. We have a voicemail today. Emma, if we can play that. We do.

Give me one second. Wow, a voicemail. What an auditory experience it is today. Auditory. Auditory. Auditory experience. I feel like a lot of times when we have an audio game, we'll end up with an audio feedback

since we're using the speakers anyway. I don't think you get a voicemail for guys. I'm sure we get the nastiest stuff of all time. You should try it. Just fucking farting in a hotel room. That guy's farting or accusing me of being a swinger. All right, here's your voicemail. Hey, doughboys, This is Andy from Austin.

I was just wondering, so back in college, at Ithaca College, I did some delivery for Sammies for a little while. At one point, I was delivering a bunch of food and included in that food was a linguine and clam sauce. And trying to get into my car, it fell off my stack of stuff and it spilled all over my car. And it was one of the worst smelling things I think I could ever spill in my car. Thankfully, I drive a Honda Element and I could wash out the floorboard,

but it still stunk for a few days. I had to go back in, get a new linguine and clam sauce. It was just a mess. So anyway, just wanted to know, have you guys ever had an experience like this where you spilled something in like your car or your house, you couldn't get the smell out? Or what do you think would be a terrible thing to spill?

Again, thanks so much for all the good times and all the good listens. And, uh, go Bombers. Wow. I think it would be horrible to spill diarrhea. Jesus Christ. My bucket. Oh, I've spilled my bucket of diarrhea. The customer's going to be so mad.

Back and get more diarrhea from the kitchen. Andy from Austin. Sammy's wife, Sam, Emilia and I have both frequent him. What was Sammy's? Sammy's pizza. Pizza. Slices. I remember they moved locations when I went there last because it used to be right on that corner there. It's in the commons now. And it's now in the commons. Yeah. But it was, it was, it was in the commons technically still, but it just moved over. And my friend Dank and Luke used to like, you could steal slices from under the glass.

There's scumbags. I love them both. Dank. Yeah, Dank and Poov. There was Dank and Poov. I feel like Dank and Poov would get along famously with your friend Porno Sean. Porno Sean? I don't know. Did they collect porno?

They definitely watched porno. To open a store? No. Porno Sean thought that the way you open a store is buy a lot of porno. They, I'm sure they roomed together too, those two. We used to go to the video store and he would go back in the porno room and he would come out with like a ton of pornos like how much porno Do you need and he was like I'm opening up an adult bookstore over by Buckeye Lake There's none there

I was like that's not how you open up a store show No porno Sean, porno Sean seems even more fucked up He's a very stupid man Toughest guy I knew though. Oh, sure, sure. He was the guy that stuck up for me and stuff like that. So, but he did collect a lot of porno. I remember Poov beat the hell out of someone in the commons one.

A guy who was being an asshole right in front of Sammy. He's kind of close to it at least. Is this Poov I met or I can't remember if this is the same Poov. Steals a pizza? Yeah. Yeah. You met, you met, I think you met Poov.

Yeah, you did. You met Poov. That Poov? Yeah. Yeah. You met, I think you met poof. Yeah, you did. You met poof. That poof? Yeah. Okay. Poof's the man. Who's the other poof? Joe Aranda, did you meet poof?

The lineup creator, basically. The guy who introduced me to the lineup. Maybe I haven't met that poof. I've only met one of them. I don't know if you have. Yeah, I don't know if you have. Anyway, so the- A great, that's Ithaca's big slice shop.

What was the other one? Sammy's. Remember there was another one next to Sammy's? It's probably gone by the time you were there. I don't remember. Ithaca Pizza. Yeah, it's probably Ithaca Pizza. It's probably what it's called.

It's called Ithaca Pizza. You know what, for someone who spills as much as I do, in fact, earlier, Emma stopped me because I was walking in the studio carrying all three of these drinks at once. The open water, the coffee, the smoothie, it was gonna go. You saw what was about to happen. So you stepped in.

But for someone who spills as much as I do, I can't think of a notable spill in my car. But part of that is because I'm very cautious in the car of making sure I have a sealed container. Like I know I could potentially dump this thing all over. So I always have like, even before I had like a Yeti, I had something like that, some sort of Tumblr, or I get a drink from a restaurant, like I'm keeping the fucking lid on

and using the straw or whatever. I did have a moment on tour. I think this might've been actually when we were in the Midwest, maybe even in Ohio, but I got a coffee from a gas station and then I had the lid off to cool it down and I was just sitting in the back seat next to Carl with like an open coffee and he was like,

Nick, what are you doing? Like. Carl skipped his leg. Yeah. I mean, he's right. Yeah. Did you spill it or no? I didn't spill it, but I immediately put the lid back on, he's right. Yeah. Did you spill it or no? I didn't spill it, but I immediately put the lid back on.

He was right. I've spilled a lot of coffee in my car, like lattes, because I'm buying them for three. When you go for me, the wife, and the daughter, there's not enough cup holders. So one of them has to, you get a cup, I guess you have to get a drink holder and then put it on the seat next to you.

Yeah, that's the move I guess. Yeah, but the place by my house, both exits, you're cutting across traffic and it's a busy street. They're both busy streets. So you basically have to just slam on the gas and turn as fast as you can. Oh man. And I've spilled so many lattes in the car doing that.

Now I kind of put my hand over like it's a baby or something. Yeah, yeah. Cup holders in the backseat. There are cup holders in the backseat. I'm too stupid to use those. I should definitely do that. That's, for me, I'm thinking of like queso or something spilling in your car.

Oh yeah, some sort of gross food. My cup of queso spilled in the car. That is, I'm like some sort of gross food. My cup of queso spilled in the car. That is, I'm like, some sort of cheesy, like, I mean, I don't spill too much in my car. The issue I'll have is I'll leave a drink in my cup, hold it for too long, and it just goes through the bottom of it. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Cooler. I was when we were road tripping, I was driving and I opened, I tried to open a kombucha, and it was like, we were highway, on the highway, and I just like opened it, but it had been shaken up too much and it like exploded like sprayed all over.

I caught that with myself but like I was soaked with kombucha bullet and it didn't end up smelling that bad but I was really scared that it was just going to reek of fermented tea for weeks. Little kombucha strands. Yeah, I'd be nasty. My wife likes to bring a cooler with her, like with bubble waters in it, and that thing leaks every single time. Like every time it's in the car, it's like the floorboards are wet,

and it's like no fucking shit, coolers leak. Like they all do, they don't make them, well I guess yetis probably don't, but yeah. That is my road trip cooler, is a yeti, because it doesn't leak. No, ours are like $5, because I'm cheap, and I love expensive stuff. I just haven't gone the yeti route yet.

Coolers, I feel like every cooler I've had has just been like, I don't even remember where I got this. It was the cheapest piece of shit, and yeah, absolutely, you put any ice in there, it's leaking all over the fucking place. What you were just talking about Emma, I feel like that's like a pretty, that feeling of like I'm just gonna spill on my couch

or whatever, I'm gonna spill in my car, and like so I'm trying to catch it on my own body and clothes. Like that's not a great feeling, but I can very much relate to it. No, and then I'm just like driving for the next six hours like soaking wet with a kombucha. I've definitely done that a number of times. Linguine and clams is pretty bad.

That's fucking awesome. There's nothing- That's as bad as it gets. Yeah, like seafood and dairy, like that's just an absolutely disgusting thing to have drying in your car. I've had like my pants soaked from like diet coke spilling on me and shit. Yeah, sure.

And that is bad. I mean, like if you have a sticky thing that spills on you, it's bad, but it's also like, whatever, that happens a lot of the time. It sucks to be wet. The Wendy's when my car got malfunctioned with my mom and it almost crushed us. Right. That was obviously one thing that, but like, I haven't spilled too much grossing, but seafood is pretty bad. And I think just like chunky shit that would fall on your floor. What was the, I'm trying to, it was one of the, it

was like one of the French chains that we went to, or maybe it was Panera. Oh, Le Petit Quittitan or whatever it was called. Was that Le Panquartier? Oh yeah. I don't remember what it was. Yes, so I was reading, the weirdest spill I had in my car was still when I had a baguette,

and I dropped it somewhere in my car and I never found it. Fuck happened to that baguette, no idea. Do you even still have that car? Yeah. It might still be in there. It might still be in there, like deep under the seat. I think it's also possible that at some point it just like fell out of the door or something like that.

But it just like, I just, again, it was, I said on the podcast, but I never thought a man could lose a baguette until it happened to me. Clam chowder. Yeah. That would be a pretty bad one. Clam chowder would be awful. That's like linguine and clams.

Yeah, same difference. But you had the worst one. Yeah, I think Andy, Andy, I think that's what happened. The worst one. The very worst, the worst thing that could possibly be spilled in your car happened to your car. Unless it was a bucket of diarrhea, like you said. I would never bring my bucket of diarrhea with me

without a top on it. Andy spills diarrhea in his car layers. I'm like, ah, it still wasn't as bad as a linguine and clams. Would you rather spill linguine and clams in your car or have someone barf in your car? Yeah, that'd be great. I would rather spill linguine and clams in my car than have someone barf in your car? Yeah, that'd be great. I would rather spill Linguine and clams in my car

than have someone barf in my car. 100%. I'd take the barf. You'd take the barf? I'd take the barf. Why? Because that I feel like is like, has someone barfed in my car, it's whatever.

I feel like I can explain that. Yeah. And also I feel like I can clean barf under my car. You can explain that you're in Linguine and clams spilled in your car too, but it is, I mean, I guess it's weirder. It's weirder, yeah. That's a weird thing to say. I mean, first of is, I mean, I guess it's weirder. Yeah, it's a weird thing to say.

I mean, first of all, go bombers, I'll say that. Yeah. But I just, I don't, I'd rather just have real food. It would suck, but it would smell bad. And thank you for your service, by the way, for doing that. Yeah, thank you, Eddie. But barf is, that's horrible. If you have a question or comment

about the World of Chain restaurants, you can email us at feedbaggetbirdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOE. That's 830-463-6844. Our producer is Emma Erdbrink. Our associate producer is Emilio Marino. Our supervising video producer is Casey Donahue. And our video editor is Mike Dorfman. Are you just mad when you spill food?

That's the thing for me. Yeah, it sucks. I hate it. I'm mad that I don't get to eat it. I wasted this thing and it's a fucking mess. It sucks. Hey, Doughboy's apparel and merchandise, Mitch, is available in partnership with Kinship Goods.

Find it over at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. And hey, you can get the Doughboy's Double Hour Weekly bonus episode, plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog by subscribing at patreon.com slash doughboys. So check out all that stuff. Brian Quinby, guys, love this podcast, such a fun pod. Thank you for having me on. Thank you for having me and Mitch on guys, love this podcast, such a fun pod. Thank you for having me on. Thank you for having me and Mitch on.

For Hot Sauce Guys, such a hoot. People should check it out if they haven't already. But yeah, tell everyone about the podcast, anything else you wanna promote. It's guys, a podcast about guys. It's patreon.com slash guys podcast. Yeah, just check it out. I mean, you can usually search,

like we've gotten to the point where you can search guys on the podcasting app and it'll come up. So listen to it. There's a lot of episodes, a lot of weird stuff. We've uncovered a lot of weird things. After you did Fart Guys, you did Smart Guys with Me. That was a recent episode, I guess, that people can listen to that one.

People should also listen to the Hot Sauce Guys one we did back in the day, and then the pizza one with Eva Anderson. But there's a whole lot, Gabris has been on the pod. A lot of YKS has been on the pod a bunch. It's like a bunch of- The Wrestling Guys episode is always really fun because it was like a Royal Rumble.

We had 10 guests. That one was really fun. That's great. It's a really fun one. Yeah, that's the one I always say to check out. You had Nick on Smart Guys, like ironically, right? I did Fart Guys and then Smart Guys, and then the next week I did tool guys with Jesse Farrar,

and then this week is tool guys, the band, with Wolf Parade, so I'm being a goof. I'm being cheeky. Hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time, for the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Weiger. Happy eating. See ya.

That was a HeadGum Podcast.