Doughboys - Carney's with Jamie Loftus

Episode Date: August 27, 2026

Jamie Loftus (@jamiechristsuperstar, The Tower) joins the 'boys to talk the dentist, Avatar, and The Minions before a review of Carney's. Plus, Slop Quiz: Major League Glizzy edition.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. Chew, chew. That's the sound you might have heard if you were in an old Union Pacific train car as it rode the American rails. But these days, in a Union Pacific car parked on Los Angeles' legendary sunset strip,

you might hear a different sort of automotopia. The homophonic, chew, chew, chew, spelled C-H-E-W. Because that rail car, and an identical one on Ventura Boulevard, have been converted into the kitchens and dining spaces of an L.A. hot dog institution. Founded in 1975 by the Wolf family, customers were soon wolfing down their franks and fries, and instead of chugging down the tracks, patrons were chugging Frosty Beves to chase down snacks. Now over 50 years later, this train chain signature hand-dipped-to-order chocolate bananas aren't the only thing that's frozen. So too is the menu, which, aside from seasonal specials, has been frozen in time since its founding. And speaking of Bananas, in 26, the already eye-catching restaurant space caught a different sort of eyes. The eyes of Irene, the Ui-Gui-Gui reverse Cyclops Kaijui from Illuminations, Minions and Monsters,

as an elaborate large-scale re-skin of the rail car, blowing away the half-ass fast food marketing tie-ins of other IP. But will we be gobbling up this stationary railcar's menu with the same Veracity as Minions and Monsters, Irene's attempts to gobble up. Spoiler alert. The entirety of the City of Angels. This week on Doe Boys, Carnies. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, catching squint, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell.

Catching squint instead of catching print. Yes, instead of crint. And I assume because it means you have a small hog you have to squint at to see it. Oh, okay. To see your ball. There's a little layer there, okay. Possible Alts, catching shrimp. I like catching Squint better, or Catching Pint, as in Ben and Jerry's, but not sure that works.

Catching shrimp is okay, okay, catching pint does not work. Catching pint is flawed at the core. Yeah. It may be, I mean, it works in print, but does not work out loud. Yeah. You got to read these out loud to your stuff. I am, speaking of, speaking of a format. Speaking of Squint, I got an eyelash.

I think I have an eyelash coming in the wrong way. Does that happen? Yeah. It can happen. God, pain in the ass. It sucks. How does that affect the wish situation? Do you get to like...

No wishes. No wishes. If you pluck it out, do you not get to wish on it? It's a great question. What, you can wish for something. You can only wish for a bad thing. I was saying, yeah, you can curse somebody. Yeah, it's for curses only.

Love you all. Thanks for the years of belly laughs, Chris S. Roast at Birdfuck.com. Mitch, you just... Wise, I did get a... You kind of came out the gate with it. I thought I was going to announce it. Oh, I thought it was, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to take that moment from you. You took my moment. Do I, Emma, can we edit me, out, edit, edit out? Edit meiao? Can we edit meow? Yeah, I'll edit me out. Just replace, replace me. And then I'll also edit you out.

Replace meo. Yeah, yeah, meo, meow sounds, just overdub. Yeah, yeah, yeah, can you kind of, Wallyon-Emerma, like, Seleb Shots. Oh, we can do that. We can do some. Okay, great. We can do some of meow vibes.

So we'll get you some yows. What happened, what, for people listening in this, you heard a bunch of meow sounds instead of what I said, which is what Mitch is about to announce now. I just got a root canal. Wow. Hours ago. I left an hour and 50. I left the endodontist an hour and 15 minutes ago.

Did they know you're coming here? Yes. Now I'm going to say this. That stupid fucking island, too. You came in here. Like this is the thing. You had a different ailment that's troubling you in the aftermath of this root canal. Half of my skull is numb.

And I am a little bit. There's a little bit of a speech impediment, I think. Yeah, I've always thought you're something of a numb skull. I shouldn't have my skull is numb. I could give myself the stranger the hard way. If I was flexible enough, I would try. I got to make use that yoga matto-a-you- So that's why Wagger gets root canals all the time.

Have my skull is numb. You may be asking why I did this right before the gourd, which also the endodontist has the same thing and the assistants. They're all like, why are you doing? And that's the dedication of the craft we have. That's the dedication of the craft because we could have just, we would have just had to, based on everyone's availability. It's always like a thing of like which slots can all these busy people,

you know, possibly all converge and do this thing we do. And this was the one time this week where it actually worked. And so you're willing to come in here fresh off of surgery just to make it happen. I would call it brave. It is brave. It was brave. I was truly, I was on the edge of my seat in the group chat this week being like, because you were like, can I do it right after?

And I was like, surely someone's going to say no. No one said no. No, I think we both Google that and said maybe. Back into the content minds you go. Yeah, I said you have to do it. That was the one person's pushing for it. Yeah. And you're here.

Three routes, four, Knav, Wow. Whoa. Venous up in that mouth. It's true. I guess I've never thought about what they're saying when they say root canal. I have three roots that are pretty, and I totally before that they're like, these are deep roots and then there's three different canal or four different canals. One splits and comes back together with those four canals.

Isn't that interesting? That is interesting. I thought it was interesting. Yeah. I didn't know. They filled it up. They said. No idea the etymology.

I wasn't sure if I should even get it. I went in today and I was like, should I still do it? because they weren't sure with the x-rays and stuff like that. And your handsome friend who is an endodontist who we met on the road. Yes, you love him. Yeah. He was saying, send me the x-rays. I never did.

I just went in today. And then I was like, she's like, you can wait. I love my endodontas. She was like, you can wait if you want to. And she's like, then in a couple months. But she's like, if you do it earlier, like usually the recovery is better. Yeah, just get it done. And so I was like, final.

And she's like, I can tell you. She's like, because usually it's like, you know, pink and fleshy when we do it. And she said for me, it was moant. do code red in there. It was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, she said, she said it was the right move to do it. I don't, I don't like when a, a dental professional, like, really hands my ass to me. I'm like, I'm already here, man. Yeah. Well, she didn't, to be fair, she didn't say, mountain do code red. She just said it was, she said it was inflamed and you made the right choice. Oh, okay. Put my feet up. And then you ask, can you put it in soda terms? Yeah, I was like, can you speak my language, please? Could you translate this? I might not be able to talk as much as episode. I might not be able to talk as much as episode. I'm. I might not. I might not be able to talk as much as So it's probably a good thing. I can shut the fuck up for once in an episode. It's not a big deal. But it is a little harder to talk.

But Wags... I don't think you can't shut the fuck up. We'll see what happens. I'll have to do you a long time. I'm going to get some ice cream after this because I can't eat some ice cream. Oh, man. Can we get in on that? No.

This is for me. All right. Find side mission. Yeah, of course. I'm not going to say you can't go get ice cream with me. We just can't look at you. Yeah, you can't look at me while I eat it. We'll sit on the other time.

Yeah. You guys got sit on the other time. No cone, though, nothing crunchy. Yeah, you can't do crunchy. Do you have a cream destination? Are you thinking handles? What are you thinking? Salt and Straw.

Salt and Straw is great. Salt and straw is good. I like handles better, though. I like handles better, but going to handles means I have to go drive to handles and get out and get it. And I can just walk next door here, Salt and Straw. So I'll probably do Salt and Straw. That's fair. Here's another thing.

I put my feet up onto the, I put my feet up in the dentist's chair. The dental chair? The dental chair? The dentist's chair? The dentist's chair? The dental chair? The dentist chair? I don't know. Would the dentist say, that's, there's my chair.

Great question. It's not really the dentist's chair. The dentist's chair? The dental chair. The dental chair. But I think it is called the dentist chair. The patient's chair? The patient's chair.

Is it the patients? The dental chair. The dental chair. The dental chair. I put my feet up. Uh, ketchup all over my left chair. Wait, really? Yeah.

But look, that's another dedication to the craft. That's the same thing. A dedication is a crows. How'd you get ketchup on there? No idea. Don't know. It had to be, maybe it was a podcast. Was it from Carnies yesterday?

You know what? I think it's when I went to the Dodgers game. I went to the Dodgers game on Sunday with Tim Sicardo. Our buddy Tim So Cicardo. And guess who? Long time friend. And so Tim was there, love Tim. Guess who sat right behind me?

I know the answer. Spoon Nation's Enforcer. Yeah. Eugene Cadero. Whoa. And this is like me trying to get, I didn't get to get the news out before you said it. I thought you were going to put some meows, yeah. There's a meow.

Did you fucking see? You're spitting fire today. What's going on here? I thought you weren't talking as much. I was trying. This is the issue. I'm a little bit slower. My mouth is moving a little bit slower.

Which, by the way, they're like really, ow. I pushed myself. What did you do that? I don't mean to. Punch yourself in the mouth. I can't feel anything. This is the thing is that you can.

The thing that was hard about is that your mouth is just open for, like, 90 minutes. Yeah, that's the thing that sucked about it. And now, I mean, also my face is numb. Don't do that. Stop it.

Stop slapping yourself. It's fun. It doesn't hurt. It's going to hurt later. Yeah, you can do it if he wants to. Oh, that was a friendly pat. I know this is a little outdated, but you're a fucking pussy.

But you must I mean, I feel like you must be an endodontist's favorite patient because they they open your mouth up and then they put the raincoat on there for you it's they probably it's easy street. They can put their tools

in there they could but you got a lot of room. You're, so we were backstage in which city in the Carolinas was that that we were in? This was in Raleigh, North Carolina. Oh, with your friend? Rale and North Carolina. Those are Charlotte. We were at the comedy zone. Those are Charlotte, North Carolina. Your hunk friend who's an endodontist was there with his

lovely wife who's also a dentist. Yes. This is your friend from college. And I explained, as I have since I got the news up last year, that I'm in the top 1% of mouth sizes. And so, and then I – See that bad boy. And I opened my gaping maw. And they both were like, like, yeah, you're our dream patient.

It said, that thing's enormous. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I'll do it. See, you could fit – you can fit all your tools in there? Yeah, you really can. Rest her cell phone in there.

But it was it was it was not bad at all. I had no idea. So if you were worried about a root canal, it did, it just, the annoying thing was just keeping my mouth open for that long. And then there was the assistant who I fell in love with a little bit. I just fell in love a little bit. Yeah, sure. Why is it cute?

So when you tell a story in, and your optometrist says, kiss me, it's fun. But then I'm the patient. And I say, I try the same thing. And it's looked down upon. What the fuck's the deal? Yeah, you're lower status in this situation, so if anything. Yeah, yeah, I should be able to know. She was very nice.

I liked her a lot. And she was like, you know, a good way? Because they were all like, why are you doing this podcast? And I did not flirt with this lady, to be clear here. Oh, God, I got scared. I got scared. But she was like, a good way to get rid of the numbing is to go for a run. And I was like, hell yeah.

I'm not going to fucking go. I'm not going to fucking go. Like immediately after. Wait, come on. I got ketchup on my shoes. What the fuck are you thinking? Who gets a root can out that goes for a workout? What an awful day.

I know. That's rough stuff. So my, it was, the crush was over at that point. It was all over. I have a quick Tim Sicarta story since you mentioned him. Yeah. Tracy McAlpin. Did we ever, did we, when you did the aisle, did we ever say?

Jersey McAlpin was there. Yeah, two past great doughboys guests who were long overdue. do for a return. I agree. I said that to them too. Yeah. We got to get you on. It's kind of thing you say. I do say that all the time. And I mean it. To be clear, I do mean it. I know you mean it. I just say it to a lot of people. There's people that we haven't had on. I shouldn't say people. I mean, there's a lot of people who haven't been on that I have promised for years and think are some of the funniest people in the world we haven't had on the podcast. Isn't that a scary encounter every time you're like, oh, no, that's the thing I said to you the last time I saw you as well. Yes. Oh, 100%.

And I do do it a lot. And then there's some people who don't want to do it. And we have a great, very funny guest today. We sure do. Returning guest, pod. The reality is, if we're talking main feed episodes, we do essentially 48 of them a year. And then we love to have a returning guests back as well. And we don't want to make it a freaking sausage fest.

We don't make it a freaking sausage fest. Although it's something of a sausage fest today, Mitch. It's true. Good point. It's true. Great point. Great point. Thank you.

We just run out of slots real quick to get people in. It's, it's, it's, uh, you can fill up a full year, a full calendar year. We don't want this. We're not, hey, it's not October Fest or in Germany. We don't want, we don't want, we don't want it to be a, some form of sausage. We don't want it to be a sausage fest. We don't want to be a sausage fest. Certainly not.

Unless, unless, it's this kind of sausage fest, which is a different thing, which we'll get to. But let's just also be real. Yeah. There's a lot of dudes in the comedy world. Comedy world is kind of. kind of a sausage fest in itself. Hmm, interesting. Okay.

I haven't noticed. Say more. Say more. There's a lot going on. The podcast, certainly not true for improv comedy, though, right? I'm going to say right here right now, and people might get mad at me, the Rogan sphere is a sausage fest. In the Rogan Spheres, it's just a, there's too much going on. There's too much sausage going on over there. Cocktail Weenie Fest over here.

but I was great to see them. We should have them both back on. You're waiting for me to say something. No, I had a quick Tim Sigardo story. Oh, let me hear it. Super quick. I hadn't seen Tim in a while. He saw me sitting in my parked car, eating Jack in the Box.

And then he called me and said, is everything okay? The answer was no. I was like, what was your reply? Yeah, I was like, yeah, man. I'm doing all right. Right? Just eating jack in the box of my park car. This is all so weird right now. It feels very weird. Oh, should we go get your lip pears?

Yeah, you got to be careful because this is a thing. You might bite it. Yeah, the present novelty can turn into future pain. Do you think I could get like an Elvis lip accident? If I do this, do you think I could become an Elvis lip? You know what? Speaking of which, Amelia, you have a little bit of context from your own mouth numbing in the past. I'm doing it right now. Yeah, I got my wisdom teeth taken out a couple years ago.

go and my mouth, all of it was numb. Half of my face, the numbness came back, or the feeling came back. I was like, all right. Was waiting for the other side to come back? It never did. You're permanent. Whoa. Yeah, I'm permanent on my lip and, like, chin area right here. I think it's called like paristhesis or something. She was, she decided to tell me this. She was like, oh, I shouldn't tell me. And then I was like, well, you got to tell me after this, but you shouldn't have. Dentist being coy with you? Oh, my endodontist did it right.

I don't know what happened with you. They must have crushed a nerve or something. I don't know. That's a bummer. I'm sorry. That's okay. It's funny because the orthodontist's, the surgeon's name was, it's basically the equivalent to like, like, Dr. fuck up, basically.

So you don't want to say the last name? I'll say it. His name is Dr. Shottie. That's pretty funny. That's pretty rough. You went to Dr. Shoddy? You, like, haul out your Groupon. You had to do a Groupon dentist.

I didn't even know that was a thing you could do. I don't know if you can now, but at the time, I got it, I had like a dental group on. And I got, I mean, I think it, I haven't been back to the dentist since. It was very scary. And while it was happening, she, because, you know, like, you're hostage, no music, no, And it was like she, she spoiled what, it was long enough ago. I guess I'm like revealing the last time I went to the dentist. She was like spoiled the ending of Game of Thrones when I was like, well, my mouth was like hanging open.

I haven't been in a while. There's my teeth. Oh, fucked off. My childhood. And you can't. Well, luckily, the Game of Thrones sucked at the end of the, at the end of it all. But still, you don't want to, I guess you don't want to hear that ending. I was like, I hadn't gotten a chance to watch yet.

Yeah. And she just, and she just, she just. spoiled it for me. Pretty brazen. Nothing happening while they're just like picking away at your deans. You had pay full price for that.

That's awful. Is Game of Thrones, can you still consider the first like four seasons? You and I were early on the, on saying that Game of Thrones was bad. It got bad real quick. And then people got mad at us

for doing that. But I think we were right. They just ran out of source material pretty quickly. And then once they did, once they were past it, those dipshit showrunners didn't know what the fuck they were doing.

Wax and I were just on top of it. You guys were just a step or two behind. It's okay. It's all cool. Too. We're right about the MCU being bad. Now everyone's like, Doomsday, looks like it sucks. Yeah, yeah. We've been saying that for years. You're saying it for years. Doesn't mean that Napa Boys is bad. You don't have to, you don't have to insult the movies I've been. You don't say twist and metal sucks. You don't have to say, you know, you don't have to say any of my other work sucks. It's just that we can comment on things. It's fine. Groupon, you mentioned Groupon. Are we all aware of the Groupon Neppo Baby, who is now a country music star, Stella Lefty?

No. The Groupon's founder, billionaire Groupon founder, has a daughter who has a song called Boston that's very popular. Wow. And now I do know. You did tell me this. Is it good? Good for her. No, it sucks.

It's really bad. No kidding. That's crazy. Let's hit him with a drop. Speaking of, speaking of songs, shitty songs. Bad audio. Here it goes. We've been in the content minds this week.

Ooh, a tweet. This bad boy is going to go final. Is that the little train that goes down into the mine? It's the Donkey Kong mine cart where we're taking it. Hashtag grind time. Okay. What are you doing? I'm the grinder now.

I like it. Yeah, I liked it. I thought it was good. I thought it was really good. Probably kicks the shit out of the Groupon song. I was going to say. Apologies to the dropper who I'll tell you who it is right now. Hey, Dofam.

Live from the content mines. Cheers. Drop Jeannie. Let 10 tickles in the DoSkord. Well crafted, Drop Jeannie. Have you seen that they're doing, they're like the new minions. We were ranking minions yesterday.

Yes. But for the new minions movie where they're filmmakers, the way that they're marketing it is they're calling them content creators. It's interesting. It's an interesting choice. But I guess that's what children can relate to.

Yeah. They have a filmmaker seems quaint. There's a picture of like a minion within like a gigantic camera and it says caution content creator. In a way, our finest filmmakers are content creators. And hey, you know, speaking of content creators, we got one with us back on the show. Host the Beckdale cast and wrote the New York Times bestseller Raw Dog, the Naked Truth about hot dogs. Next year, she'll publish a first novel.

The Tower. Jamie Loftus is back. Hi, Jamie. Hi. The Tower. I'm very excited about the Tower. We won't spoil anything. It sounds good.

But people can pre-order this book now. You can pre-order it. It's about a woman who falls in love with a blueprint and then tries to build the building so she can have sex with it. It took me four years to write. Our freaks are going to love it. It sounds awesome. I'm going to be pre-ordering myself. You are a newly licensed driver.

Yes. When did you finally get behind the wheel? Was it this year? Last year? It was late last year. And why did you make this decision? Because as long as I've known you, you've been someone who takes the bus everywhere. Yeah, proudly and loudly taking the bus.

I think at some point I just, I made it like I was taking the bus as a political choice when it was, I just didn't want to drive. I don't know. I was like, now that the second I drove, I was like, I think I can just be honest and be like it was just easier to live off Sunset. I moved to Burbank and I was afraid I was never going to see anybody ever again. And so I learned how to drive my fiancee's Prius. And so that was that was a whole. And I almost, the thing that I almost crash it all of the time. I'm such a bad driver.

Like on the way over here, I don't know. I'm not helping the narrative around women driving because I'm really bad. I'm not checking both ways. I'm like, it's. This is why we have so many guys on the podcast. Safety of them getting to the recording studio. Yeah. Women are not doing podcasts.

for their own health. But yeah, I learned, I learned last, I learned last year off of, like, YouTube because you can just, like, if you don't have your driver's license, you can just watch people taking the test and watch the dash cam on YouTube and just learn how to drive on those three streets. Then you'll get your license and you'll be like a terrorist to everyone around you. Like, you'll instantly become a domestic terrorist. People who didn't, I know friends who didn't, like, take, go to driving school, I'm just going to say, Micas was one of them. Okay.

Okay. And in those first couple of years of Micahus driving, terrified. Was he licensed? He was, because once you hit 18, you can get your license. You don't have to, like, in Massachusetts, you don't have to do any sort of test. You just go up there and. No, you have to do the test. Oh, okay, okay.

But, like, you, you don't have to, you don't have to class. You can just get behind. Is that not true everywhere? I guess it probably true every year. I mean, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't trying to make it specific to Massachusetts. I think you did this. No, I don't know. I don't know fucking laws. Look, I'm not somebody who likes to drive either. I hate driving. I drive by necessity because the city is underserved by public transit. It's getting better. Well, to be clear, I like driving.

I just don't do it well. I just do it very dangerously. Here's a question for you as a new driver, newish driver. Have you explored drive-throughs at all? Like what that experience is like? It's a game-changed. I feel like I don't know. I've been a passenger for so long. And so I don't like, well, what I've learned is so many, at least drive-thrus near me are so poorly realized. The Dunkin' Donuts in Burbank, I'll just say it. Like, it's one of the most poorly realized drive-thrus of I've ever seen.

Wow. It's basically a hallway that you have to take a really scary, unprotected left to get into. But I mean, I think it is, it's great because it's, it's nice to be alone. And it's nice to feel, I don't know, I mean, like, you guys have had the, like, it's nice to be alone and just feel the smell really seep into you before you. Before you get home. Drive-thrues can be tricky no matter, even to the most veteran driver. It's true. It's sometimes be a little scary.

I don't know what's going off there in Burbank. I do feel like, does I, now that I've been doing, because I've been on like four road trips since I got my license, and not. not improving at driving the whole time. But I've been going to all these drive-thrus. And I do feel like there's, I don't know if it's because you feel like you've done something to like get through the drive-through, but the food tastes better to me when I'm, like, when I've gone through the drive-thru. Are you, as opposed to getting it delivered, do you mean?

Or as opposed to- Definitely better than delivery. Yeah, 100%. For certain places, better than in the restaurant. But it depends on the place. Interesting. Are you like an eat in the car person? I will absolutely in the car, yeah.

Will you eat while you're driving? Yeah, as part of why I'm such an unsafe driver. I don't like to eat while I'm driving, like in motion. Like I like to, I'll just pull over and eat, but you were. But then you get caught. That's shit with him. Timsocardo fucking dockses my ass. I'll eat one sandwich on the ride home.

Like if I have like an easy sandwich to eat, but I don't love to like eat everything while I'm driving. You'll get the road sandwich. The road sandwich. That's incredible. I don't have that kind of, I guess, like, restraint. Oh, sure. I feel like I get enough food to get me home. And then when you get home, I just, like, throw the trash away and continue with my.

Well, also, I'm getting too many sandwiches. I mean, I'm getting two sandwiches, which I shouldn't get. But like the, like a McChicken, that's enough to eat it. And then I'm like, from McDonald's to my house, I'm like almost there at that point. Maybe I'll have a couple fries too. That's a good subcategory of food, too. Like the thing you buy to get home. so you can continue with the rest of the meal.

You have the main course. Yeah. I'll do snack wraps and stuff like that to just to get me home. Sometimes if I'm like, I honestly, I find what that ends up being for me is like a milkshake. And I know it's, I'm kind of going backwards because I'm starting with the sweet treat. But like I like I can sip on, sip the fuck out of a milkshake on the drive home. That's true. Yeah.

But I have to draw, I have to draw attention to something. Jemmy is napping on the floor. It's cute as fuck. But she is fully off camera. Why is she refusing to cuddle up next to Uncle Mitch? I don't know. I didn't really. She was snoozing down there.

I said this earlier. We're going to the vet tomorrow because she's got something on her tail and I told her about it. And I think she's pissed off. So she's acting a fool today. Where's the bet? Is it in? In Burbank. It's a lime house.

Burbank. Burbank. Burbank. Burbank. Furbank. More like Furbank. More like Furbank. A holistic forward vet.

So, but and we like them a lot. They're great. But she obviously does not like going. Yeah. We'll hit up a drive-thru when you're done. And we'll be careful, apparently. Be careful. You could get hit by me if you go to the Dunkin' Donuts in.

When I was learning at a drive stick shift, drive-thrues were the bane of my existence. Like, anytime I'm in Mike's car, if I'm driving, I will literally get out and make him drive-through the drive-thru the drive-thru because it scares me. Wow. I go there almost every day, and so the staff, like, I've gotten better. This hasn't happened in a while. It's the color of Dunkin' Donuts on the sides of your car. Well, they see, which is crazy because I drive a white Prius. Like, I could be anybody.

but they usually know it's me because there was one time where I was trying to get into the drive-thru and I saw one of the employees go out and move his car when I started to drive-and-thru. Because he had tied to the nice car. And I was like, oh, I strike fear into the hearts of the employees here. Everyone's so nice. But, yeah, I have to keep going. The brutalist McDonald's in Quincy and my mom had like a newer car and I took the turn and I, and I got some, you know, like the yellow poles.

I got some of the yellow on there. But luckily, I could buff it out myself. But I got a little streak on her new, when her car was new. She doesn't even know this to this day. Wow. So much history happens inside. Did you have any, like, life events that took place in a Dunkin' Donuts for you? Oh, yeah.

I mean, there are too many to even count just because I was going there every single weekend when I was younger and getting a bacon, egg and cheese on a croissant, and a chocolate frosted donut, and a strawberry culotta. RIP. RIP. Wait, the culottas are gone. At least around here. I feel like you can get them some places, sometimes.

They're not what they used to be, which was like 2,000 calories, which they were great. And like a food die that will kill you. Breaking Shoes, Gemmy has now migrated up onto the couch. She liked my fur bank joke. So Duncan, that's a daily outing for you. Yeah, huge. This is just your connection to home. Is that what's driving it?

I think so, yeah. The coffee I know is bad, but it's like the first coffee I had. So to me, it's good. Yeah, it's just. I get the, I know that they're bad, but I get Duncan cake. And I don't, I've started to drink coffee, which I think I have to stop doing because my anxiety is going through the roof. But I do, I do, I'll do like a cup. I try to do a cup of Duncan's coffee every morning.

Why did you start, like, why did you get on, because so many people are trying to get off caffeine. Why did you decide as someone? Because I don't drink a ton of caffeine. There are benefits to it. And also I was just trying to, like, wake up earlier and drink some coffee. Like the actual cocoa bean. I mean, I guess I could go back to decaf. I do do decaf quite a bit.

But you're saying, like, this is, like, I'm just trying to wrap my head around the benefits. Because, like, I also, someone with anxiety, coffee absolutely makes it worse. And I still can't fucking stop drinking the garbage. But you're like, do you just mean the caffeine or do you mean like, like, what benefits are you talking about? I don't know. I've had anxiety the last few weeks.

I started drinking coffee the last few weeks. You're like, wow. Let's just keep this car going. I mean, part of me is it has like woken me up a little bit, which is helpful. And I'm like, oh, like with the fogginess, I'm always trying to figure things out. I'm trying to get up earlier. And then also it has been a stressful few weeks. So I'm like, I don't know.

I don't know what came first. You know what I mean? I have no idea. But I can easily, I can also easily, I don't also, I'm not someone who's like, I need the coffee either. You can stop whenever I want. Yeah. So I, it's funny enough, I don't have an addictive personality besides food. That's the only thing that I get, that I'm addicted to.

Interesting. Nothing else. Drugs, alcohol, just food and being lazy. And you have that stuff, drugs and alcohol. I love them. Yeah. I love both of them. Maybe like, you know,

Give me some drugs. Give me some alcohol. I'll hit up the Duncan drive-thru. I'm good to go, Wig's. But the one place you'll over-indulge is at the Duncan. Mm-hmm. They have Duncan alcohol that my aunties gave me some, and it's not bad. Yeah, it's not good.

Yeah, I know. Anything that they've, anything that, like, Duncan tries to do outside of Duncan itself is, is pretty disgusting. Vodka tonics, makeup. The chocolate, they did, like, munchkin chocolate. Like, almost all of it is bad. Oh, I might have to get a night guard. I forgot to say this. I have a night guard.

I know this. I've talked to it stands at the foot of your bed. I'll show you the ropes. But I got to, I maybe have to get the night card. Yeah. Is that forever? Is that a life sentence? What's that?

Is that a night guard a life sentence? I tell you, it may be, I think as far as I know, I can never stop using the night guard, but I kind of like it. I don't grind my teeth. Like, I look, or if I am crying my teeth, I don't fill the effects. And also it's like, in terms of ritualizing. going to bed, I put that night guard in and I was like, I'm snoozing time. It's like putting on a sleeping cap, you know what I mean? It just puts you in the right mindset.

Here's the thing. I got to talk to Toonzie. This is your dentist, Dr. Toonzie. Tunesi's going to put a cap on my tooth anyways. And then I got to go up to Furbank and get a cap on my tooth. And then, yeah, he'll be the one who judges whether I get the night guard or not. Anyone else, a night guard wear, or is it just me? Amelia's got one.

I just got one this year. What do you think about it? I like it. I feel like it may, it changed the shape of my face. I feel like my jaw lines more snatched. Okay. I think I might need one. I've been, like, my jaw's been, I don't have a lot of tension in my jaw,

so I think I might be clenching or grinding in my sleep. They noticed some signs of grinding for me, and I've also used xylemeltz. And I told the story where I woke up chewing on my xylemelt. I'm like, is that doing it? Are you chewing in your sleep? I might be chewing in my sleep, and that can cause, grinding can be, leading a root canal. Yeah.

So this is all. Also, when they, they, they couldn't get my face, they gave me four shots to get my face numb. Because you get so much face. What the fuck? No. That's not why. Well, he can't respond as quickly. They were, they were giving me the, they put like the ice on your tooth.

Okay. And then you, like, that's how you feel if you need a root canal. Like, when they do the test, they do, they do the cold test. And they were doing it when I was getting the shot up with Novakane or whatever the fuck it is. And it was still hurting towards the end. And they gave me a shot out. Wow! It went through my, it went through my body.

I went to my feet. Oh my God. I could feel it in my feet. Isn't that wild? Crazy. Yeah. Wait, is your buddy Novick, the last name like Novakene? Did he do that on purpose?

Pretty clever if he did. We called him Dr. Novakane and we were saying that. We were calling him Dr. Novakain. That's what he should call his practice. He should. Why did Dennis has that? My childhood dentist was named Dr. Vigenis. What?

So nasty. Dr. Vigenis. You got to just change that. And you're a childhood dentist. My childhood. Like, his name is telling him. And Novocaine. They can make a great little dental shop.

What is that called? I have not just changed my name despite it often being mispronounced as a slur. But I would, but like, so I get, I understand being loyal to your own name. But if you're Vigenis, and you're at all. public facing. You got to change that. Pack it up. This is not going to work. Yeah. Yeah.

Or become a principal. Or become a principal. And the kids are going to have a blast. Or become. Paginous. Or be like a mononymous dentist. Be like the Beyonce. Or like a gynecologist.

Yeah. Now we're talking. That's pretty good. That's good branding. Mom had a gynecologist who was the doctor that she had when I was born, whose name was Dr. Shagg. Wow. He had to be a gynaecologist with that name.

Wow. He obeyed his calling. Yeah. What's the name determinism? Everything looks ruby down there. My, my, my, someone in my family, their gynecologist is named Handel Orifice. This is not true.

That's a lie. I have a picture of it. That's from a joke book. Handle orifice. That's disgusting. We got to get them on the bottom. The Marino family history is like a hundred and one. jokes to tell your friend.

It's written by Blanche Knot. Okay, we got to... Conover just got the thumbs up. Conover's in a holding cell right now. Conover's in a podcast holding cell. He just got the thumbs up. He's in the zone. We do have a separate conference room at HeadGum that's always unoccupied.

Conover's in there right now. He's about to do his own podcast. It does kind of sometimes feel like the dugout. It does kind of feel like the bullpillar. You know, you guys warming up in there. Can I show them with a camera? Can I hold the camera? It doesn't go that far. Is Conover okay with us to just feel like?

We can ask him later. It doesn't go very far. What's up? I was a TV that way. Oh, it sees me this way. Oh, shit. Okay, I got to do it that way. All right.

Mitch is trying to get for audio listeners, trying to get shot. Where is the hold of Conover? Oh, no, shit. His shadow is in the wall. Oh, he had my shadow. If I hold it, we can see him. But Mitch wanted to hold it.

I wanted to hold it. Oh, okay. Here, it works better if you're out of the round. I was here, for the record, I was here on time, but then I ran into Kahnover and he talked to me about leaf blowers for seven minutes. Did he get you in the holding cell? Is that what there's a leaf blower on the floor out there? Oh, okay.

Wow. That was a... What the fuck is his podcast? Leafblower is how he does his hair before the record. We got to talk Avatar. Damn, I would have gotten that one if my mouth was just a little bit quicker. You like us are a fan of the Avatar franchise. Yeah.

What did you think of Avatar Fire and Ash? I wasn't sure for like the first chunk. Yeah. I went to a smite. The first time I went, it was too late. It started at like 11 p.m. So already at a disadvantage. But when it gets like unbelievably horny and then for the remaining two hours, I was locked in like never before.

I don't know. I thought it was incredible. The Una Chaplin character. Who you, I was not aware of the tattoo. Yes. And the reveal was so thrilling. It really, it was like. It's wild.

Oh, yeah, yesterday. You got, this was revealed yesterday. Yeah, because Avatar came up so casually. Right. And then within 20 seconds, you revealed your Una Chaplin tattoo. I don't think I was the one who even brought up Avatar. The conversation just organically migrated there. I mean, as all good conversations do.

Yeah. Yeah. I was reflecting recently on, I had like, um, When I went to the Avatar Park where you have to pretend that, like, everything's cool, guys. We've made peace with the Navi. They're nowhere to be seen, but we're cool. The soldiers are, because the soldiers are the represent. Yeah, they bring out some Navi every so often, right?

Like, isn't that what they do or no? Do they trot some? I thought they trots them out, but maybe I'm wrong. Deas, you can figure this out. What are you smiling out of the way? I just looked up the name of the OBGYN. It's Roxanne, Handel, Orifice, M, D, M, A, and, Oh my God.

It's real. It is real. And it handle orifice is hyphenated, so this was a choice. Yeah. Jesus Christ. I mean, if you're given that hand, so that's her married name? I don't know this woman personally, but that's, that's their name. What the fuck?

What is, what, whatever, a thousand years ago, what, what, like, tribe was naming themselves or, you know, in Scotland or wherever or in Estonia? Like, what was happening? Yeah, how is Orifice spelled? O-R-E-F-I-C-E. I wonder what, like, Nice try. Yeah, I wonder what, I wonder what, like, what nationality that is. Because, like, that's like, that could inform,

it could mean something in a different language, and that would be, you know. She's Googling Orophis right now, which is going to come back with. Italian for Goldsmith. Oh, there you go. Oh. That's funny. Handle Goldsmith. That's a little bit better.

And he said, that sounds nice. Everyone can enjoy that. So we're probably pronouncing it wrong by saying orifice. Oh, I'm sure. It's probably Orophiche. Yeah, it's Orophiche. We're fine. We're in the clear.

But that's probably how Italian say Orophis. Orofiche, I'm sure. What is, I've never been to Avatar Land. I hope to go someday. Wow. Oh, you were in Florida just recently. I was in Florida just recently for the first time since I was a small boy. With the tattoo, no Avatar Land.

No, we only had time for Epic Universe, which was lovely, which was a great experience. The universe was fun. Yeah. But the... Well, hold on a second. If you were interested in going to Avatar land, you know I would have stayed an extra day and gone to Avatar land. I had to go to fucking work.

I had to go back to work. I didn't. I did. I have a job. So we had a... This is your job. I know. The other one works for us.

Just so you know. Dough boys will always be in first position to use Hollywood parlance. First position. Should we, should we explain to? Hollywood explainer. First position is the show that you sign on to, and it takes the lead spot, like. So if you say, Mitch, we want you on the newest season of White Lotus. I say, sure.

Yeah, I'm signed up there and there. You're going to be first position. I said, that's fine. I'm going to sign the contract. I'm all in. Yeah. And then all of a sudden. Lev Ginsburg's giving you a call saying, like, actually, Doe Boys Media has you in first position.

So you've got to get your ass back to headgum. So then now, yeah, well, I wouldn't have signed the, I wouldn't have signed the thing for first position now. This doesn't make sense. Now the next avatar. Say another show. Right. They're too horny.

They should consider them their studies. You girls are too horny. Back to the dorm room with you. Are you just shaking your fist or are you supposed to be holding? I'm holding a ruler. Okay, got it. Back to the dorm room with you girls. They want me, but they say we want you in first position.

I'm already in first position for White Lotus. I can't do it. You can't make the commitment. Do it. So, hey, we still want you. We're going to sign you a contract. But here's a thing. White Lotus is in first position, Wiggs.

So any days I got to shoot White Lotus, their schedule triumph. It takes the spot over. What is the word I'm looking for? Trumps. I don't like that word. Trump's sex lives of college girls. You know, who likes that word, Orofichi. Italian's like Trump.

Horfiji loves Trump. What is the food like in Avatar Land? Oh, as I recall, it was like pretty middling. There wasn't much going on. Not like a distinctive smoothie or something like that. They had blue. I feel like I'm mixing it up with, they got blue shit. I think I had a blue shake of some sort.

But I think, I mean, but the blue shake is kind of freaky when you think about it in the context of like, why would you want a flesh colored shake? Yeah, that always troubles me. Why do I want to be the color of the thing? Of the color of the skin of the creature that is not around. Yes, right. It's a little. It's kind of, yeah. Kind of draw your own conclusion.

Jake Sully Shake But it's beautiful I went with my mom And watching the sunset There's pictures of me at Avatar Land My mom did a full photo shoot And it's In Avatar Land?

Yeah Wow She did it and I I almost never let her do that But she was like Jamie get over there Like and we did a full thing I really came alive there

I don't think I look happier In any picture of me ever Than the pictures of me at Avatar Land Wow. It is a beautiful, did you do the flight of whatever, the Navi? Yes. What is the flight of passage? My mom cried after, which was her being overdramatic, but she cried after

flight of passage and she's like, that's exactly what it would be like. I mean, she's got a point. It is wild. It is, it is beautiful. And then there's another, like, there's like a riverboat ride. I know. I didn't do that one. Well, I guess that's where the Navi are, because there is like an.

animatronic in there. But you got to stand in line to see the one living knobby in an avatar line. There are no walk-around navvies. You only encounter the animatronic ones. There's no walking actor. Okay. All right.

The electronic one is awesome. I think it would be hard to make a walk-around character that big. Yeah. Yeah, right. Which they maybe should have thought of before. Because I feel like the way they work around it is like they have pictures of like around of the Navi shaking hands with their oppressors being like, we're cool now.

Like, it's like some, it's weird. Yeah. You know. It does seem like. An alternate timeline or a future where this has all been settled on good terms. Which after Avatar 3, I'm like, how the hell did they end up resolving? Right. Yeah.

My thought is that there's like, there's probably a lot of tall people in the world who, like, I mean, a lot of tall people who are like, you know, seven feet feet could probably play basketball or doing other, I mean, are doing other things. But there's a lot of people who don't play basketball that are seven and a half feet tall. I like people on stilts? Yeah, people on stilts. There's a very tall actor in whose name I don't, I can't pull, but who's in, like, like he's one of the performers in backrooms. And he's a former basketball. And he also, he's in Alien Romulus. Yeah, he's got, he's a, he's a, he's very good.

Was he also, was he, was he, was he, was he, was he, was he the new whochibok. No, that's a different guy. Robert, Bra, Bob Brock. Bob Rocky. Rob, brock. Brobs. Brobs. I was trying to be helpful.

Can you just put me out. Can you just put meow sounds over this? He's 7 foot 7. I love that as like a retirement option for a basketball-sized guy. Like you're like, you could just be the backrooms guy. You could be a Knobie if you want. Go on Navi land and be like, is that Taco Fall? Who's playing Navi?

That'd be cool as hell. It's weird, Taco Fall, who, you know, around the same height as Victor Wenbanyama, who's the, you know, the NBA, a new NBA superstar these days. You think about these guys, they're like, what, between 7-4 and 7-7 somewhere are in that range, depending on which listing you believe, they still would be dwarfed by Varong from Avatar, Fire, and Ash. How tall is Varan? The Navi are like nine feet tall.

Wow. The tall as far as far as... If I was seven... Three full meters. If I was seven and a half feet tall, that would keep me up. Yeah. That's what would keep me going, striving towards greatness. I sat behind Taco Fall on the plane once coming back here.

I told you this. Yeah, I remember. I was behind him. I kept kicking his seat. And what did you tell him? Come on, Do Bois. Yeah, so we got to get you on. We got to get you on.

And he did. He walked with me the entire way. He's like, okay. And then he never came on. That was probably a thing like his reps found out what it was and said, you're not going on the show. A possibility. From all accounts, a lovely man.

It was nice. I like talking to him. How tall is wrong? I just looked. Yeah, go on. Well, okay. Now Taco Falls is not that crazy, that much shorter. I mean, he is shorter than her, but 8-5 to 8-9.

That's huge. It's huge. It's fucking gigantic. How tall is Taco Fall? Quarge. Chonoffal is 7-7. Oh, okay. So it's a foot difference.

Yeah, I think he's 7 to 5 to 7-7 somewhere in that range. Yeah, but he's getting bullied in Pandora. Yeah, that's like that Mitch, that's like me versus Shaq. Like, like he's still, she still be so much bigger than that. Corroch is 9 foot 5 inches. Yeah, they're fucking huge. I believe that they're big. I believe the Navi are big.

All right? Okay. Okay. I never said they were short. Listen to the tapes. I never said the Navia short, okay? I do like how horny Korich and Varang are for each other. Yeah.

And the moment he starts to kind of alpha dog her, she's like, oh, a man is finally challenging me. I like that because I've been so, you know, what, in control my whole life or whatever. Yeah, we can tell you like that you tattooed her on your body. But see, because I would not be me, I would not try to alpha Varang. I would like, I would do anything Varang said. Like when she's like, she's like, like, maybe I will make you a, you know what I mean?

Yeah, but she tossed your tiny ass around. She'd eat you. Fine, that's fine. What a way to go. She tossed you all over the place. Courage, meanwhile, in Navi form is like, fucking like, hey, let me kind of try to assert controller. Let me challenge you a little bit. I don't know.

It's cool. And then they're hanging out. They're having sex. I don't like this. Feels like we're in the Tiki theater. Speaking of lands. Mm-hmm. As much as you admire the Avatar land, I believe you and Mitch share a skeptic.

for Star Wars Land. Star Wars Land is bad. Except for, speaking of hot dogs, today's topic, Ronto wraps. Ronto raps are good. Ronto raps are good. Sell me on the Ronto Raps. Someone said that they went downhill, as from what I heard.

I don't know if it's true. I would never... I haven't been there in a while, so I don't know. Yeah, I was like, I don't go enough to have inside. I've only been to Star Wars Land twice, I think. The first time I went, I would say it was worse because it was like right after COVID restrictions lifted. But I had the breakfast ronto wrap the last time I was at Disneyland like a month ago.

And it was unbelievable. And it's like it's really good. It's really good. It's a pita with a hot dog. And then if you get the breakfast kind, it's like cheesy eggs on top, some onion. It was, it was great. It was a great breakfast. You went right after the COVID restrictions were lifted in 2020, was it?

In 2021. Because I was there two years back to, I was there. I was at Disneyland the day everything started. started to close, which was really alarming. Like the day that started with like Harvey Weinstein's going to jail and then at like 10 a.m., they're like, Tom Hanks is going to die. And then at 1 p.m., they're like the NBA blew up. Like it was wild. It's so expensive to go.

Turn around C3PL's got a mask on. What's going on? It ended up being great, though, because it takes out of the world. Because you're thinking like, okay, C3Bio's got a mask. What you mean the walk around performer who's being C3. Pio was wearing the mask to portrays CETUUBio. No, instead we were talking to as a surgical mask. Surgical mask on the stop of that mask.

It was early. We didn't know what was safe and what was. We did it. The NPRPA was wearing a man. It was bad. But yeah, by the end of the day, the NBA was, but it was, I mean, it cleared out. It cleared out. Not me.

It's expensive to go. That day we were on stage in Denver, Colorado. That's right. Whoa. And then we did a meet and greet afterwards. Probably the worst idea we ever could have had. And Mitch surprised. me with bringing an audience member up with her own bassoon, which I played.

So I also played bassoon back in the day. I played obo. I, or that are a double read team. Yeah. Dan, bassoon's impressive, though. I never attempted. Obo's impressive. You can't get a, it's so hard to get a good tone out of an obo.

How do we not get COVID on that? We were using, we were using hands sanitizer. I was making people hand sanitized before they shook hands. You know, but you remember some people were like, I'm good. I'm good. I mean, basically. Basically the preview of where we were headed. Yeah, sure.

Specifically those people? I'm good turned into fuck you. You know, I mean, so it's just, what are you going to do? It was fun. It was fun. It was a fun time. It was a fun show. So the Ronto wrap is, wait, so like the breakfast Ronto wrap, I assume has

egg on it. What is the normal Ronto wrap? Do we know the components? Oh, I don't know off the top of my head. I mean. Sausage, there's some slaw in there. Yeah. And there's like Schwama.

Shwarma. Yeah. I can't. But there is a hot. There's a hot dog in there. And it's like a grill. It's not a boiled. It's a grilled situation, I think.

And it is a pita. This is like when Kurt Schilling bled through a sock for me. This is the kind of thing that I'm podcasting today. Only it's ketchup on your shoe. A ronto wrap is roasted pork, grilled pork sausage, pepper corn sauce, tangy slaw wrapped in pita. So I got everything. Except for the slough. The shaved pork is like the, is the whatever.

Amelia, you did a good job reading that out, but can we still put meows over that? Yeah. That's the Schwama is like the sliced pork is what I was thinking. And then, yeah, the sausage. It's great. It's good. It's like perfect portion. It's like the thing that I let.

That and Babu Frick are the good parts. Yes, right. The only redeeming of ultimately of the Star Wars Disney run. And to be clear, Wags, it's four quarter per portion. I can't do it. I can't do the damn thing. We have a, we're going to come back to that because that ties into our experience at today's restaurant. Hey, buddy, I have to tell you about this game-changing product I use before a night out with drinks.

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If you're starting a business or running one of that deserves better tools, Square helps you sell, manage and grow without slowing down. Right now, you can get up to $200 off Square hardware at Square.com slash go slash doughboys. That's SQU-A-R-E dot com slash GO slash DO Boys. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today. You know why? If a genie gave me three wishes, I would use all three of my wishes to wish for my kitty cats while you're I'm going to live forever. And I would love that. I really would.

But since genies don't exist as far as we know, I feed my cat's malls. So what is the scenario here? You got two cats. You get three witches. Witches. And I hope not. If so, you're using one of those wishes to wish those witches away. I have three wishes.

A lamp has washed up on the beach. I'm on the beach taking a walk. Okay. I pick up the lamp. I rub it. A genie comes out. You barefoot on this walk? Sand between your toes?

Okay, great. So you find the genie's lamp. You free the genie. Actually, no, I have shoes on. Okay, you get shoes on. You find the genie's lamp. And then I'm like, well, now the first wish is got to be, I want the sand out of my shoes. Right.

So there's one wish already gone. Yeah, but then I'm like, well, hold on a second. Don't just wish about for the sand out of your shoes. Can you just empty the sand out of your shoes on your own? And then I think about this for a few minutes. Right. So then, but let's just say you use one of those wishes to get the sand out of your shoes. Yeah.

Now you get two wishes left. You got two cats. Maybe at first you're like, well, I'll just wish for both of my cats to live forever. So for my last wish, I can have something else come true, you know? Sure, yeah. But take care of this pesky sand. I can take care, like just really, just really get the sand out of here. Yeah.

Because you use, you only wish for one shoe. Yeah. That's how they got you on the first one. See, here's the deal. I wished for sand out of my shoe, but this is the first. I'm still in the middle of the beach. You're still in the middle of the beach. When I walk back, you're going to get more sand in.

So I'm like, all right, so these, so right now, they're bookended. My wishes are bookended with getting the sand out of my shoes. So you have one wish to let both your cats live forever. Yeah. And you want to make sure there's like no loopholes here because the devil will get you. Yeah, you're saying, so if I wish sand out of my shoes like, like, now, like you have shoes made of sand or something like that. Right, right, right.

I don't want any stand in my shoes. You did. You got me. Good job, yeah. Pat yourself on the back. So, yeah. So does that answer your scenario is that the middle wish is for Wally and Irma to be alive forever? I thought you'd use one wish for Wally, one wish for Irma.

And then have a third wish to do with whatever. But then I just, all, knowing you. Is that just to be safe to do one wish for each of them? Well, I just know how much you love your cats. And this is all, this all ties into what we're going to talk about. But I know how much you love your cats. Okay, I'm getting rid of the first wish to get sand out of my shoes at the top. Got it.

Because I'm walking back. so when I get back, I'm going to wish, I wish the sand was out of my shoes. Right. But that's already after wishing for Wally and Irma to live forever. Yes. So I wish Wally would live forever. I wish Irma would live forever. And they get one wish left.

And then I'm back in my car. I wish the sand was out of my shoes. All right, great. But then I'm also right there. Now at this point. Now I'm there. So I'm like, do I just do this myself? Right.

I'll wish it. Yeah. But anyway, Wally or Irma are now going to live forever. Uh-huh. Because that's how much you love them. That's how much I love them. And how much you love them is also evidenced in your choice of cat food. That's right, Wags.

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fillers or artificial ingredients, and their food is so healthy that 88% of cat parents say that after feeding smalls, their cats have better digestion, a softer and shinier coat, and more energy to play because it's actually good for cats. Wow. So stop. serving your little carnivore a bowl of process shortcuts. For a limited time, because you are a doughboys listener, get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life when you had to smalls.com slash doughboys. That's 60% off your first order plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com slash doughboys. Don't just take it from us. The mainstream media agrees. That's right. And we trust them. Uh, anyway, let's go to the beach. Today we are talking about

Carnies, which was founded in 1975 by John Wolf, Sr. and his wife, Pat, Union Pacific Railcar. I feel like that order is always set that way. That's maybe a little bit patriarchal, isn't it? That's a story of the hot dog owner's life, though. There's always, I feel like when I was, when I was doing the road trip, like, years ago, every single place, it's like, it's the guy, it's, it's the husband's stand. And then, though, but it's the wife that holds this, the secret recipe. Yes. And is churning relish in the basement. all night long. It's also probably making, like,

I bet you she's behind the right. Let's be real here. I was. I don't trust this guy. Yeah, why isn't it like founding is divided by Pat Wolfe and her husband John? Like, you just don't see it to frame that way. I don't want a hot dog from John. No.

I want Pat Wolf is, first of all, better name. Yes. Better name. But there's, I remember, I went to, I don't remember which one, but I was at a hot dog shop in Philadelphia. And I knew that, like, it was a husband-wife team. I was like, where's Pat or whatever, the Pat of the situation? He said, she's home making the relish.

I was like, oh, my God. Like, he set up a full interview. He was like, I'm the face. My wife's home in the relish minds. So disrespect. Wow. Who has created more foods, man or woman? Let's settle it once and for all.

We're selling it once and for all. We're using Google AI to finally get an answer. historically created and invented vastly more everyday foods. Wow. That's because women belong in the kitchen. Emma? That's not what I'm saying here. That's the next line in the judgment.

Unless it's a professional kitchen, then they have no place there. No. So we've landed on today's episode coming from women in the room that women belong in the kitchen and not on the highway. Yeah. Great. Awesome. This is great. 2026.

Yeah. It is in a Union Pacific Rail car that is parked on Sunset Boulevard and West Hall. Hollywood. There's also a second train car in Ventura Boulevard in Studio City and a third location is coming to downtown L.A. at the music center. Really? Yeah. So they're there. Are they getting a train car for it? I mean, I hope so, because that's so much of the appeal. I love the choochoo and being inside that old school rail car car car is so, so fun. I love, it's like, it's the perfect atmosphere for train guys and hot dog guys to meet up. I think that's why the vibes at Carnies tend to be very good. I also think the train guy. There was actually two type of guys like that. We're on our visit, which we'll get to in a second. We were accompanied by our headgum intern, Ryan, who this is your final week at Headgum, is that correct? Yes, definitely as an intern, possibly, period. We'll see.

I don't know. I'm going to find myself in the desert, and then I'll come back and decide what I want to do. What the hell are you doing in the desert? Find myself. Great. That means drugs. Keep it cryptic. But I thank you for your service.

you. I think I will, I can say in head gum history, beyond, behind Rochelle Chen, ranch, I think you have done the most work of anyone in this building. So, God bless you. I'm going to miss you, my friend. We're going to miss you, buddy. So we went

there and you'd been before. I'd been before, but it's been years. Mitch, you'd never been, as I correct? And I don't know if I've ever been in that building. I mean, I told you this, that I like remembered it, and I also specifically remembered as like a good late night spot. I bet you have been there because I know you used to go to like the saddle ranch, some of those Sunset Boulevard.

There's a chance that I went in there and got a big sloppy dog at some point. Yeah, I bet so. They built that, right? It wasn't just a train that like ended its route and then they just built around it or what? Right where it stopped. The hot dog train just stopped and they'll just leave it here. It is a thing that they're right there. Yeah.

Did it ever live it? Because I was, I don't feel like I really appreciated it yesterday of like how, because I, I love living near travel town. Travel town's like one of my favorite places in the city. And they have a ton of Union Pacific cars. Right. They got the little nugget over there. Yeah.

You know the little nugget at Travel Town? It's just a little guy. There was a great we, and I actually ate there with you. There was the, wait, is this what you were saying? The Pacific Dining Car or no. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the little saloon car.

It's gone, right? Yeah, Pacific Dining car is closed, which is a bummer. Is that where you're just saying? No, Travel Town is a different thing. the Pacific, wait, I'm getting my train's confusing. The dining car is the restaurant. Downtown, and it's where you could get a baseball steak, which was made famous in Training Day. And you and I went there together once at least.

Yeah, we went to Pacific Dining Car. Yeah. That's a great vibe. I love it. And now it is, it's another casualty of modern L.A. just, I think it was maybe post-COVID. It was a COVID casualty. It came back after COVID, though, and then shut down. Yeah.

But being eating and train is, we can all agree, a train that is no longer. or moving or never did move in the first place is fun to eat. Eating in a train is very fun. Ryan, you, we were talking about hot dog guys and train guys. That Vendaiagram overlaps with you as well. You like both. Yeah, I like hot dogs.

I definitely a train guy. Yeah, I guess we jumped the gun calling you a hot dog guy. Yesterday was my first time having a hot dog with stuff on it. Yes. Yeah, so maybe you're not a hot dog guy. Possibly my first time having a hot dog in the last decade. Okay, so you're not a hot dog guy.

It's not a part of the community. So why the fuck do you try to have this stolen valor bullshit, Ryan? What the fuck's happening? I'm going to call you a hot dog. What's going on? Name five hot dogs. You're a burger boy. Yeah.

Yeah, because last time you went to Carnies, you were telling us you got a, you got yourself a hamburger. But you also get plain burgers. Yeah, well, I get lettuce. So you went to. You didn't know in the cyclospora days? Well, yeah. You get no condiments and just lettuce? If I wanted my food wet, I would drink something.

Whoa, that's an insane thing. But you add lettuce. The lettuce is good and like refreshing. So what is your- Open the schools. You had to go back to school, my friend. I think Ryan is a COVID casualty because this is insane.

No, I've always been like that. I mean, I... See, like you don't dip your nuggets in anything? No, I get them, I get McNuggets dry every week. Give us your load out for a burger. So you got beef, you got lettuce, anything else on there? Cheese. That's it?

Bun. Bun. Stop. End of list. It's good. Wow. You add lettuce. I don't like messy foods.

I try to avoid a mess. Always. A cheeseburger with nothing on it makes more sense to me than a cheeseburger with just lettuce. I'm trying to be healthy. Well. The other stuff that goes on it, though, is like vegetables. Lettuce. What about tomatoes?

Tomatoes are gross. Oh, boy. But actually, I don't. I always decide it after. It was fine when I had a tomato the other day. I wasn't going to say anything I didn't want to cause a fuss. Usually I don't have tomatoes. Oh, right.

But I ate it and I was fine. Right. Wait, no, you didn't eat the burger at the end of the other. But I ate the tomato on the big tomatoes I was on that one. What did you think? It was fine. Here's what I'll say. I'll give you this credit, Brian, because most picky eaters I've encountered

would just like turn up their nose and say, like, I'm not going to eat that. You at least have an open enough mind to be like, like, I've never had chili before. Part of this experience is I'm going to try chili. Which, by the way, isn't just why you're giving an example. It is 100% what it's exactly what happened. You've never had chili. You've never had chili prior to yesterday. My only experience with chili is seeing Kevin Spillid in that famous office moment.

That's your only experience with chili? Is that how you learned about chili? I knew what it was. If you had told me before that, what does it look like? I wouldn't be able to tell you. You wouldn't tell me to tell someone what chili looks like. Before I saw Kevin Spillet on that famous moment, but I was pretty young. I was probably 10.

What age did you start? What age did you start listening to dough boys? 14. Yeah, I mean, we share a lot of blame for this is the thing. Yeah, we didn't bring this boy up right. No. We got to take him into the desert and euthanine. Yeah, well, I'll find myself and that might be involved.

We'll see. Last time I was at the Grand Canyon, my parents told me I kept trying to run and jump off the edge, and they're not going to be there this time. Ryan, don't jump into the Grand Canyon, for God's sakes. There are no dry burners in there. No. We'll see. It's full of ketchup.

Wait, when you say, by the way, we'll see. But also, when you say you're going to the desert, you're going to the Grand Canyon? What's going on here? Grand Canyon, find myself. He's going on an adventure. This is what Tony Soprano did.

Is that what you're doing? Are you doing it? I'm going to, yeah, I'm going to go find myself in the desert. Is there a party going with you? Is it a solo adventure? My friend Will might come. Oh, that's fun. Yeah.

All right, I'm going to make a rule for you. I'm flying, just follow me follows by myself. Who what? That's where they film Twin Peaks. Oh, that's fun. That's fun. I got, I had 17,000 points that expire in November on Southwest, so I'm going to Squalomy Falls. Got to use it.

Can I, can I give a rule? I know that I can't do this, but can I give you a rule? Don't go by yourself into the desert. Can you promise me that? And if you do, you have to share your location with someone who knows where you're going. I don't, I think Will is coming with me. Okay. But it's going to be harder to find myself when there's someone else there.

He's going to ruin the vibe. I think it'll make it more fun, but less finding myself. What is this thing about finding yourself? I feel lost. But I feel like you have found yourself. You're a young filmmaker. You love movie. You have a passion for it.

You know, you're very talented. It feels like you have a voice. I feel like you've found yourself in a sense. You found your tribe right here, the Doe tribe. You're found yourself with us. And now the men who raise you are telling you, don't do drugs. Don't do drugs in the desert. Drugs are not involved.

I get it. I like to go into the woods to like reground myself every once in a while, find an I'm gonna be fine. I'm gonna return on me fine. Are you bringing any food with you? Um If you say no, this, you're gonna lock you in and I'll let you go. Maybe bring some nuts or something. Okay, sure. I'll get food there. I'm going to the teal arches McDonald's. I'm seeing 50 roadside attractions along the That's fun. That's fun. That's really fun. Giganticus Hedicus, the chocolate waterfalls, which are not real chocolate.

Okay. Um, I'm so, I'm staying over here saying, I'm trying to save your damn life. wife. Arcasani Urban Laboratory, Tallyesson West, muffles the auto parts, man, go for with the big hat. That's fun. What a lineup.

So that's how you're, it's just funny, you're going to go find yourself and you're going to see a gopher and a big hat. It's awesome. I'm proud of you to try to go find yourself. Just be safe. I'm now nervous about this.

Yeah, I'll be fine. And you were exploring yesterday. You were eating all sorts of toppings yesterday. It's true. And we'll get into it. I do want to mention that. that for a time. And I saw this, but I did not go into the carnies while it was happening.

So we were a little bit, we should have timed this out better. But there was a promotion for minions and monsters. And they had the eyeball blob Irene draped over the train car, which was like a really pretty dazzling installation. Which Ryan corrected me on very quick because it was like the blob. And then Ryan said, Irene. There was one thing we could all agree about at the table. That's Irene.

We went to that place. And we all love minions and monsters. And you were fresh off seeing it, lives. Yes. I was very late to the party seeing minions and monsters. Mitch has seen it. Wait,

but you went during this time, didn't you? I did. I did. Yeah, I went. Sorry. No, get it out. I had seen all the other mini movies and you guys talked about minions

for like 30 minutes. We're going to get back into it. We're going to get back into that. But I want to ask about the experience of going to the minions and monsters, the Irene-ified Carnies. It was great.

It was a great lonely person excursion. where I was like, oh, a woman alone going to the minions. It was because I had been at an event previous, and I was supposed to go to an after party, and I panicked, and I went to the minions carnies instead. And I did not regret my decision. So I was kind of like dressed up at the minions carnies alone. It felt very elegant. I got two Carnies dogs. And I was there the night before one of the minions got stolen.

Wow. Yeah. Did you steal it? There's... We know who's taller, folks. No, no. It's hard to say. They didn't catch...

Which is nice. I mean, I guess Carnies doesn't have very effective surveillance technology going. It's old school. So if you guys want to see the minion, it's in my fiance's previous. You can show you. You want to talk about someone falling in love with an object.

They're not objects, Mitches. They're not objects, Mitch. We had seen it, and we must, I mean, we just missed. Conover is shirtless. right now. Oh my God. He's just changing his shirt. He was, I just saw a shirtless con over it.

And I can tell you, his chest hair has the same thing as his little pomp. He just saw me do the pompadour move. Fuck. Now you have to take your shirt off, make it either. He's just giving a thumbs up. We, we, we, you sent the Minions and Monsters with Carnies thing. And then I said, we should do Carney. Yeah, we should.

No, I, that's why it was in. That's why it was in our head. Yeah. And then we just didn't get to it right away. We didn't get to it right away. I'm glad at least we have somebody who had the experience. And we probably missed it by a week, I'm sure. It didn't come down that long ago.

Not that. It was like two weeks ago. I'm like, do you think the, like, the marketing department just like drives around town is like, what's yellow? Should we call them? It was, I mean, but it was, it was great. It was thrilling. It does evoke the, though, the destruction, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, you-sized Irene, you know, unleashes upon the city of Los Angeles in the Minions and Monsters

film. That's true. That's true. Yeah. The scale was fucked. Yes. But outside of that, great. Let's rank the Minions movies.

We did this, we got into this a little bit in the restaurant to Mitch's annoyance. But Ryan is here. Ryan has takes on this. I would love for us to come to a consensus. This is not need to be contentious and this is not need to take, you know, all episode. But I think we can do it pretty quickly. We all are on the same page that minions and monsters. most recent one is number one. That's the best one. I have had, I've had, I think three and one,

and this is like a cop-out, but three-and-one might be tied because last night I was thinking about minions one, not just pickable me one, definitely not. But yeah, minions one and minions three might be tied for me because of the no, like no disrespect to Alice and Janney, but Jeffrey Rush's narration and minions one is crazy. It's really good. Yeah, I watched it last night for fun. The first 15 minutes of Minions 1 is so good. It starts off so, so, so fun. You know, like, that's great. I love the King Bob section.

Yeah. There's a lot of good laughs in that. Kaiju Kevin. Hide you Kevin is great. We'll maybe, we'll maybe return to that. Okay. She's snoring, by the way, it's pretty cute. Fair tongue's coming out of about.

Not a Minutes. Fire hydrant, yeah. Wait, what? Stewart fucks a fire hydrant? Well, it falls in, like, it's not, like, we're not seeing. They're in a hot time naked. They're in love. Yeah.

They're in love. We're not seen full-on sex. We don't see it. Do the minions have genitals? No. No. Actually, we see their... They're caked, but that's it.

We see their lack of genitals. Like, is that the first on-screen portrayal of a fully bottomless, front-facing minion in minions and monsters? I'm trying to think that happens in every movie. I always see their butts, though. I don't think you see their front sides necessarily. What about when they fall into the overalls? Yeah, I guess if you frame by frame that, you're maybe catching it.

No, but sometimes they're wearing little underwear. Sometimes. How many of these fucking movies have I seen? I saw Minions and Monsters and the week. How many did we watch as a podcast? There are, I believe, seven in the franchise. I've seen like three of them, I'm guessing. Yeah, you definitely saw.

We did Despicolomee 3 on the podcast. We did not do four, I don't think. I think we, well, anyway, we can all agree. Minions and Monsters and Minions are at the top, and Despicible Me Four is at the bottom. Yeah, I wouldn't put Minions one right up. Then let's just... Okay, that's misogyny.

to disagree with me like that. Four is definitely worse. Four is definitely the worst. The question is, what do you do after that? And I think my next entry would be despicable me two. There is a case for three, but I think three just has to plot. What's that? Dispickle me two.

There's a case for Despicable Me three. But Despicable Me three, I think like some of the tangents it goes on, the unicorn plot line is really thin. I think we all talked about how Drew's brother brings everything to a screeching halt. That's why I'd put Dispickable Me 2 over Dispicable Me 3. What about Rise of Gru? Do you not like Rise of Gru? I like, I'm doing Rise of Gru next. So you put all three minions up top.

I put Rise of Gru number two. Wow. I love the plane scene. The plane scene is unbeatable. Jesus Christ. They hijack a plane man. Yeah, it is fun. All the Illuminations movies.

Otto was great too. Almost all the Illumination movies shit around with side characters, like B plots. And, you know, there's always some that are good. some that are bad. And I think Rise of Gru, like minions and monsters, and like, despicable Me 1, is pretty focused. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, and also, like, the auto subplot is, like, kind of like, that's, that's the closest it comes, and that's an auto is a star. More objective sexuality, too, because he falls in love with a rock. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, let's just say the Minions movies are at the top, the Dispiquable Movie movies at the bottom. How would you rank the Despicable Me's?

Like, would you go two, three, one, four? A quick question. I go one, two, three, four. You go one, two, three, four. You go in order. I'm surprised. Dispicable me too, is that when Gru gets in trouble and gets canceled? Yeah, it's been Gru.

Come on, I had to say something. I'm sitting over here alone. Mitch, you've kind of got a minion. That kind of looks like a minion. Oh, this is a little guy here? It's actually the shape of Quincy. A lot of people think that it's master. It's supposed to be like the master's logo.

This is a golf course on your polo shirt and it's yellow and green. It's the shape of Quincy. The shape of Quincy guys go. Kind of minion bounding them. All right. All right, fine. I'm doing a little minion. It was a nod to the minions.

A nod to the minions. I'm going one, three, two, four. We're all over the place. We're not going to get him to get a sense. I'll give up on this exercise. This pickle with me too is my favorite one. I like that one. Finally goes to jail.

So we went to Carnie's in person, and we're there and we got ourselves. We're trying to figure out a game plan, and I will give a little hat tip to Mitch over here in terms of figuring it out. Because we were like, there are four principal hot dogs at Carnies. Their menu has essentially been frozen in time outside of seasonal specials since its founding. The four signature dogs, we were like trying to figure out like how many do we get. And Mitch was like, let's get two a piece and we can have all of them. Because you said one of each at first. And I pulled a final reckoning on you.

You must be out your damn mind. That's what I said to you. Because splitting those into four pieces. Yes. It would have been a mess. Much like Ethan Hunt, free diving into the frozen ocean. Then being rescued. You guys talked about me for too long.

What do you want for me? It was annoying. So we got two of each hot dogs. So we essentially each had two hot dogs by way of one half of each dog. I'm going to run down the hot dog list. Carney dog. chili, mustard, tomato, and onions. So that's their signature.

By tomato, it is like a wedge of two discrete wedges of tomato that is put on there. The tomato wedge is thick as fuck. It's way too thick. I don't like tomato on a hot dog in general. And I'm generally, I'm honestly with Ryan in a lot because I like tomato, but most tomatoes you'll get in these contexts are very low quality. And I just like I feel like it's sometimes addition by subtraction to excise that shitty tomato.

We got two New York dogs, which is with a sourcrow and mustard. We got a New York dog. Wait, hold on. We didn't get two. We didn't get two orders of the New York dogs, did we? Yeah, we did. Well, yeah, we got two other than two other dogs. No, but we didn't get two New York dogs and then another

two New York dogs. That was two Chicago dogs was the other? No, I think it was this got fucked up on the receipt. The receipt said New York and I just prescribed it. Yeah, it's the red cabbage dog is the one that we got. I like the Ethan Hunt's thinking. But the meows over the Ethan Hunt's thing. I think that was a roast of you one time, Ethan Hunt's. Was it really? Oh, yeah. Also, we're putting a lot of meows in here for a hot dog episode. Should we put a bark in at some point? Yeah, we can put, just make one of the meows a bar. Just a little surprise bark. That'll get, now they'll know.

Okay, the New York dog is split and grilled with sourcrow and chili peppers, correct? And then the right, the, wait, no, that's the cabbage dog. This shit's all fucked up. There are two New York dogs. One is the grilled and then one is raw. I'm telling you they fucked up the receipt because we did not get two New York dogs. I'm just looking up. We got red cabbage dogs. That's the one we got. Yeah. Well, no, we got New York dogs.

Yeah, but we also got red cabbage dogs. I'm saying we did not get... On the menu, they call it New York. There are two different styles of New York. That's on the menu. That's what it says. I'm saying they fuck something up. I was not what we got.

I was trying to figure out the images that you guys sent yesterday with the receipt and it was not working. Something was confusing me. So I went to their Instagram and found. on pictures and titles. And yeah, it's like a red something dog. The red barren dog, I think, is what it's called. Yes. We got a Carnie's dog.

We got two Carnie's dogs. We got two New Yorker dogs. We got two Red Barron dogs. One was spicier than the other? Was that the New York thing? One was spicier than the other? I think we got the Red Barron dogs we got with, we got spicy style. Okay.

No, no, we did it. We got the red, we got the red. This is fucked. This is absolutely fucked. It's not fucked. Relax for two seconds. We got the red dog, the spicy sausage itself in the red baron dog. Because it was red with red. Got it.

New Yorker dog, we got spicy style. And then we also got a Chicago dog, which I kind of forgot that we got. What are the components? The Chicago dog, we hear a Chicago dog, you're thinking of a, you know, that their standard, their weird fucking hot dog with a tomato wedge on it that's got the long, you know, long, But there was no tomato on the Chicago had the tomato? No, that's the crazy. Traditional shakeraker.

Oh, okay. We need to calm down. This is a fucking mess. We get the wrong fucking menu items that are on, in my notes. The Chicago dog, what I'm saying is like, this is not a Chicago style hot dog as far as we know it, which has the sport pepper, the neon relish, the celery salt, the tomato. The jardiner and the long fucking spear, right? And that's good for me because that's fine. That's none of my business that style.

Yes. The Chicago dog was just relish, mustard, and onions. That's right. That's it. That was good. That was good. I like that one. I saved that as my last bite because I was like, this will be a pallet cleanser. This will be something normal. And you know what? It was normal in a delightful way. I really liked it. You're asking me what was on the New Yorker dog. No, I'm asking you what was actually on the Red Baron dog because what I have in my notes is just spicy style,

which is split and grilled sourcrow and chili peppers, but there's other components that are on the Red Barrier. That is on the New Yorker dog. Spicy style was in the New Yorker dog. I've already told you this. I think you guys also had this conversation at the register. We did. Yes. Spicy style was on the New Yorker dog, motherfucker.

Red Baron dog, we got a hot link in the Red Baron dog. So what is on that one? What is it? What is in that? It's with red cabbage and mustard. That's it. That's what I wanted to know. That's all.

I could have told you that from the fucking start. That's what I was asking. You talked too long about the fucking minions. I'm over here. I can answer these questions for you. Ryan, get to the death. Desert. Guys, ball ball.

I was like, Ryan's right there. No, sit down. No, stay. We want you to see this. Wait, you do have, you do have to go, though, right? Didn't you have an hour? Yeah, it's pretty soon. What is your, what times you're out? It's like, I have dinner at seven, but it's fine.

Wait, where's your, wait, where is it? It's like 30 minutes away. You gotta go. It's like, it's just my cousin's girlfriend. Yeah, plug your, yeah, plug your, yeah. Pug your, cousin's girlfriend. What the hell's going on? just like basically my cousin.

Is it? They've been together a long time. Oh, okay. So your cousin's girlfriend isn't also your cousin? No, not literally, but it's like my cousin. Ryan, you've done a great job here at Hadgum. We've loved having you around. You are out of your mind,

which is great. I hope that your buddy, what's his name? I hope Will keeps you safe. Please plug your YouTube channel. People can check out a small cowboy. And then also, give us your voice. We'll see again. We're going to see you again soon, right?

After the desert. I got, oh, please, won't you own me on there? That's about a guy in the dog in the desert. And then we got Ivan Paw, which is about a thing in the desert also. Cool Ryan Films is the channel. So, yeah, give him a sub. Yeah, support a young filmmaker. Boner Brian coming soon.

Very excited about Brian and Brian. When are we going to see you next? It might be a minute. It might be a minute. We'll see. I'll find myself. Will you send us a video of a review of the Green Arch is McDonald's? Yes.

Aw. Cudies. I'll also give you a house. A wager hug. This is a difficult spot for me. And I'll give Mitch a hug. No. You're going to do a group?

Come here. I was ready to get a hug. You're not going to get up? No. Good luck in the desert. I hope you find yourself. That was fun. It's okay.

Can I say my thoughts on the hot dog? Yes. I want to get your thoughts and I want to get your fork score. Also, if you need any road trip advice, let me know I'm a professional. Okay. Have you found yourself yet? No. It's a myth that you're out there. You're actually with yourself all the time, unfortunately. I love that.

Purple was best. Okay, purple. Okay. Green was okay, but a little too sour. I like that these are color-coded. I don't know which one the green is. I think Chicago, because that had relish. Tomato was too big, but the actual hot dog was good. That's the carnies.

And the other one was also good. What is the other one? Is the New Yorker? The New Yorker? I don't know. Probably the red one, I think. No, the red one wouldn't be the other one, right? For fuck's sake.

Red with the tomato? Yeah. But wasn't there one that was also red? Yeah. Yeah, so red was... You mean the red sausage? Purple red tomato green. Purple red tomato green.

Got it. And forked score four two times. Wow, four and a half. Very good score. Eligible for the one plate club. Is that green or is... That's the green one. Okay, so the New Yorker.

So the New Yorker is actually the green. The green? Wait. Wait. The New Yorkers, the green one? That's what I was trying to say. I'm the only one. I'm a hot dog whisper here.

I've gotten all of this right. None of you can follow it. The New Yorker is green because it has, it has like this weird cabbage slaw on top of it. Yes. And it's cooked and it looks green. The Chicago dog has relish, but it's not, it had onion on top of it. It's not green. It's not prominent.

The red baron, no. Red Baron is the red one. That's the purple one. So red Baron is purple. But it also had a red sausage link. It did have red sausage link in it. That's why you caught me. Tomato was which one?

Was the carnage dog with the tomato sauce? With the chili. Okay. Cool. Thanks, Ryan. What's your fork score? He gave it. Four forks two times.

Four forks two times. Does that count? Is it official? Yeah, that's canonical for this episode. Okay, wow. It was great. And from now on when I get hot dogs, I'm going to say, give me that, give me how it is. Wow.

Wow. Bye, Ryan. What words to exit on. Yes, give me that, give me that, give me how it is, I believe it was. Those are better lyrics than the group on. Still numb. So, yeah, how are we doing? It's getting feeling back.

But now Amelia scared me that I might be numb forever. No, you won't. That was just a me thing. Those are also wisdom teeth is like a whole different thing going on in your mouth. Yeah, it's like stronger. They like put you all the way under for that. Yeah. And it's very rare for that to happen.

Let me just address what just has to happen. happened. Can you even? There he goes. Ryan is leaving. Let me just address this. This was a skill issue. You better not go missing in the desert.

For God sakes. He's not going to go missing. No one needs to worry. He's going to be fine. He's a grown man. It's a classic. Like, I graduate college, I go find myself in the desert.

He'll be all right. What's going on? How do you know? Maybe tail him. You took his phone turned his location. He's good. This whole ordeal was a skill issue on my part.

I should have double-checked the receipt. I should have written down the I transcribed it, but I cross-referenced it with the menu. I also think they rang things in wrong is what Wagers said. This is what I'm saying. They rang things in wrong, and I did not clock that on the day. So I just sent you a photograph of the receipt as it was, and then you transcribed that. You had no way of knowing the receipt itself was inaccurate.

And so then what we have in my notes. Luckily, you got Mitch here who knows exactly what we got. I'm saying it. I'm taking the heat for this one. This was a skill issue on my part. I got to just, I just got to be better on the day. And so hopefully that will set us up. for success or future records.

I think this just shows how crucial it is that Amelia and I be there. You were invited. I know. I know. I know. I'm saying we should have gone. I don't eat hot dogs. So there's no.

What the fuck's going on with this? This is insane. What the fuck are you talking about? I eat hot dogs, but not at 11 a.m. It was 11 a.m. hot dogs. It was a, it set me up for a great day. Me too. It's that I, because I were like, I held off on breakfast.

We did a big hot dog brunch. And I was good to, like, evening. It was so. I ate again at 8 p.m. Actually, I sat down to eat at like 8.30, and then I ate at like 8.45, 8.50 or something. It was a full nine hours or something when I ate again. Yeah. It was perfect.

I ate so late because I went home and I worked from home and I got a bunch of shit done. And then when I was like, it's time for sustenance. I have to have a meal. I had like a Caesar salad. And I was like, this is great because now I'm having something kind of lighter. I must be so fun for Natalie here. It's time for sustenance. I must have a meal.

Cool. She was down to sleep. Okay. We also got a cheeseburger. Well, I got to say this, first of all. Can we go through the dog? Oh, yeah, I guess we didn't even talk about the hot dogs. The carne dog, no one was thrilled about the chili on the carne dog.

Is that correct? I'm not a big chili person. Oh, maybe that was what it was. I think it was that you were just saying, not a huge chili dog person. That kind of opened a thing in my mind where I was like, I don't really care about chili dogs either. I'd rather have a hot dog with a lot of different fixings, but chili does take it over. I feel like a hot dog is not the ideal chili vessel. And I feel like that was proven on our very table with the burger.

What is the – I'll tell you the best chili vessel, a cup. A bowl. The Wendy's Drive-Thru. The Wendy's Drive-Thru, the chili itself with some cheese and sour cream in there, Wags. I think chili can be – first off, I like chili dogs. I stand with Sonic. I think they're great. I think that this particular lineup is not how I'd make my chili dog.

Like chili mustard tomato onions. First off, get that tomato out of there. I had the tomato wedge because I was like, this is the experience. This is the carny dog as it comes. That was a plump tomato. It's a plump tomato. It was overwhelming. Yeah.

And so I got it out of there. I would have taken that out of there. I'm fine with the mustard, like, you know, but I don't necessarily need it. I definitely want some cheese with my chili dog. Like chili cheese dog is what I'm thinking. I'm not thinking just straight chili. Because that would have plused it up immediately. But I also feel like in terms of, I think it is a fine vessel for a chili.

I also think, IMO, speaking for myself, chili cheese fries also, like that's a great to me. That's a good vessel. I like that. I like that as a base. The New York dogs, which were spicy style. I was like, have we clarified what that was. And this is the funny thing because we got. the spicy red link in the red baron dog.

Yes. But that wasn't as spicy as the New Yorker dog, which was spicy. The spicy style. It's so confusing that they have both a spicy sausage and separately a spicy style that does not include the spicy sausage. I'm realizing I had a dream about something like this happening last night because it was stressful watching you guys argue about which hot dog was going to be spicy at Carnies. And it was this exact conversation. and I was like, what if it happens? I woke up, I went out.

He went out on it immediately, and I felt, I, I bent the knee immediately. You said, the red baron should be the red dog. And I said, that makes 100% sense. Just synergy, yeah. Right, bowed my knee. I said, why I go for it? And while I'm down here, zip. And you brought the red dog in the red baron dog.

Yeah. It all made sense. Right. It all came. So, but the new one. I did add some spicy jack cheese to that red baron dog, which was also an option we haven't even talked about. Which complicated things further.

Which complicated things a little bit further because you didn't want the cheese added to your Red Baron dog. I did get the Spicey Jack cheese added to the Red Baron dog. I liked it. I liked it too. Yeah. I did not get one of the cheese. Because we got two separate ones, one with cheese, one without, yes? Yes.

So I had one of the non-cheased ones. It worked out for me. It worked out great. The, the, I like the right cabbage dog. I liked it more than I think the New York dog. I think that that might have been my, and I'm not a big cabbage person. It was maybe too much cabbage. It's always too much of whatever the dominant topping is.

But I really liked the red cabbage dog with the cheese. That was great. What is the vegetable on the New York dog? Is it sourcrow? Is that what it is? Yes, I think it's crowd. It's crowd. My two favorites were the New Yorker dog and the Red Baron dog.

Those two were my two favorites. I don't know which one I would go with. The Chicago dog was great and fine. It was just kind of whatever. It's a simple dog. It was a simple dog. My favorite, I think, was honestly, might be a four-way tie because I liked all of them.

But I think if I had to make a choice, I think there's something about just like the classic just simplicity and just really strong execution of that Chicago dog. And just it just put me in the right place. Good snap to the frame. Great snap to the frame. Really high quality dogs.

I can now tell you what it is. In the red baron dog, we got a red eye, which is a Polish sausage spicy, but not too spicy, split and grilled. or steamed. That's what we got in there. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Red Baron had the red eye. Had the red eye. Red Baron had the red eye. That's right. And also it had red cabbage. That's right. Cheese for some, not for all.

That's right. The Red Baron had a lot going on. And it was not spicy style despite having a spicy sausage. That's right. The New Yorker was spicy style. It's happening again. Aren't there frozen pizzas that are Red Baron? There are.

That's what I keep pictures. when you say Red Baron. It's like a frozen pizza. I love the brand Red Baron. That's a different thing. Yeah. Red Baron pizzas were not on the menu. We didn't order Red Baron pizza.

It was not a Red Baron pizza. It was also not affiliated with Red Perrin of the Snoopy version. Who was also a dog. Yes. But he's not a hot dog. That's true. Yeah. That was a work as a military dog.

The Red Baron. There's a lot of other stuff on this menu. There is like salads and wraps and things like that. but we, they have so much shit that's thoroughly unnecessary. That's one, that we just looked at and confidently ignored, like the Chinese chicken salad. There's no fucking reason we need to try this. No one, no one probably ever orders this from Carnies. I kind of wonder with, with menu items like that, I'm like, when was the, you should have

to keep a record of the last time someone ordered it. Because you could have like a fake out menu item that you just know, no one will ever, like, I was thinking, I was talking about someone, I was talking about this with someone yesterday, about how I used to work at this, like, drug front front piece of place. and there were like over 100 menu items and like most of them didn't exist. It was like it was just variations on a cheese pizza. And I think that there were entire menu items that had never been ordered because no one had ever gotten that far on the menu. Did you, how confident were you that it was a drug front?

I couldn't have been more sure. My last day at work, police were there. Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. What was your job? I was the like a teenager at the front. So they like I was just the the college student at the front.

And then in the back they would make two or three pizzas a day. But it was mostly about what was going on. The ice cream fridge was held up by like four whiskey bottles. Nice. And sometimes the guy in charge, his name was Rodey, he would go and like grab a whiskey bottle. And then the fridge would kind of fall over. And it was it was scary. It was a scary place to work.

That's wild. What's going on over there, Mitch? I used to drink a water and I almost all slurped out of my mind. That's a bummer. Because it's still not 100% yet. Yeah. It's getting there, though. Can you sort of feel it?

Yeah, weirdly, right? The bottom, my bottom jaw is still, the top feels almost all the way back. Maybe on a podcast is the same as going for a run. I think it is. You're using your jaw. That's what I've been saying. When the doctor asks me if I'm working out every day, I say yes. Yes.

Now, we also had some fries that Amy Schumer would maybe be a fan of. Mmm, yes, we had some fries that are, the Amy Schumer might be a fan of. And why is that wise? They're called the train wreck fries. Oh, Amy Schumer would certainly be a fan of those. Could have gotten so many ways. LeBron maybe would like a bite. LeBron might have a bite, yeah.

All these people would enjoy these fries. But probably chiefly Amy Schumer. Amy Schumer. Joe Appetal would like them. Appetal would like, definitely like. like a bite of them. Yeah. Who else is?

Who else? Who else? Who else? There's in there. Judd Appetite. Dave. Insomniac with. Dave Attell?

Dave Attell's in it. You guys remember so much about train wreck. Is Dave Atel the dad or something? I forget what he is. I think he's made with a dad. I haven't watched Train Rec. Sorry. You were going to be like, these French fries are the favorite of the IDF or something.

I was like, why, Amy, shoot? The Train wreck fries. You went a different way. We went a different way. We did not mention the IDF. No, you're not mentioned the IDF. The train wreck fries, prentices, Schumer's favorite, with cheese, Thousand Island dressing, and grilled onions.

I did have the thought of was eating these because this is like a version of the animal fries that an out burger has. I feel it's a very Californian style of fries, specifically, that combo of cheese, grilled onions, and Thousand Island dressing, or whatever your house spread. is I wonder, this was research I could have done and I didn't do, but I really wonder like who originated these.

Like when they came about and how they became like a local staple. I mean, and they just say it's Thousand Island. They don't call it like secret sauce like half the world. Straight up Thousand Island on the menu copy. I appreciate that transparency. Me too. Yeah. Now I'll say this.

I don't agree with everything Amy Schumer says and everything that she stands up for. But I do, I'll give a thumbs up to her fry. I did like these fries that Amy Schumer may be fine. A broken clock is right. Yes. The Amy Schumer fries are pretty damn good. Do you know Amy Schumer's like a nepo of Chuck Schumer relation? I had heard that.

They're like cousins or his uncle or something? It's a weird relation. I think he's her uncle or something? Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. It's bizarre. Yeah. You know, just explains the IDF thing to some degree.

I say ideologically, I cannot stand with the train wreck fries. I think of that stuff. No, they were all right. I don't know. When I tried them, I was like, I don't think I really like this, but I kept going back. I went back after they had been classified as trash by the rest of you. Oh, I didn't think they were trash. I didn't think they were trash.

I like them. Oh, you was the guy who was out. You were the one, I guess, who was maybe the biggest nayser. I liked them. I liked them better than in and out fries. I also like them. I think they're good fries. I don't think it's crazy to say they're better than an out fries because in and out fries are

naturally polarizing. They're a very specific style of fry. I love this kind of combo of just slop on top of fries. To me, it's very fun. I don't know. I did think it was a little overboard that there was a little Israeli flag sticking out of it. That was a little bit. Yeah.

Right. That will be cut. No, but I... Just meows. That's, yeah, put some meows. Put some barks and meows. Can I say it then? Yeah, go for it.

I do think it was a little overboard that there was a little Israeli flag in the fries. Okay, so I'm yowing yours but leaving him. Yeah, yeah, he can get credit for it. But I will say that the Israeli flag and the fries was a little bit much. It was a little bit much. But you got to bark some of them. Meowzen barks. Meows and barks in some areas.

I like that cheeseburger, too. Yeah. Yes, we also got a single chili cheeseburger. I think of the double cheese maybe we've been better, but I don't know how great the patty was. So it was fine. It was fine what we did. Again, I'm taking the heat for this one. This is not Amelia's fault.

It's no one's fault. mime, the fish rots from the head. I'm realizing that how fucked these notes are. Is that true by the fish rotting from its head? Isn't that what it said? Isn't that the expression? Isn't that the idiom? I mean, I think if the head's rotting, the rest will be rotting.

What if its tail is all fucked up and mangled and like open to the hair? That's not the expression. It's still going to die, but probably slower. Yeah. So if Amelia and I fuck up, it's not as bad, but when Wiger fucks up, ruins the whole thing. Yeah. Here's the thing. Where the fuck am I in this equation?

I'm a row? What the fuck am I? Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Two-headed fish. The buck stops here. The receipt just said cheeseburger. We got a chili cheeseburger. Hey, then they were hooking it up.

I guess I think maybe it's because I don't eat a lot of chili burgers. I was kind of dazzled by the burger. I really liked it. It was really good. And we, like, I took a knife and I made like Uncarplett. I made like Uncarplet and divided it into a quarter portion. And we left one quarter portion and I did it for the Ryan and he liked it.

Ryan did like it and was also like, I was nine when the first movie came over or whatever. I did. I liked knowing where Ryan was situated in regards to our history. He did, I was waiting for you to bring it up. He did want you to bring up Tame and Pala at some point. He did want us. Tame and Pall was playing and we like Tame and Pall.

We like Tame and Pall. And we don't like the group he told us to say was uncool. And we don't like the other one, but we like Tame and Pala. Taman Pala, which gives us a connection with young people. But I didn't know how to tell him. I was like, Tame and Paula's been around for like your whole life. Yeah. Can you text him what the other one was?

Ask him what the other one. It was like an A, I don't know what the other one was. I think the AMPM. I think it was A MPM. We like Tame and Pala and we do not like AMPia. We liked the burger. I just maybe a double patty. It wasn't like, the patty was pretty gray or whatever.

It was still juicy. It was good. The point is you're going to Carnies for our hot dogs. You can get a good burger there. You can't get good fries there. The hot dogs, though, are the star of the show. Beverages, we got some, you both got the super drinkers, which is fun. We got a big boy diet Pepsi's, big time.

That was big as fuck. AJR was the name of the band. A.J.R. A.J.R. is whack. We don't like A.J.R. is black. They're boring, dude. I'm like Tame and Paula. There's a three-letter acronym.

I'm going to get behind. It's IDF. A.J.R. Drake me. Mm-mm. IDF Drake me? So how much of that in my meowing barking? Just the whole episode at this point? Yeah.

You can bark out the AJR or whatever. Keep the other one. It's Pepsi products there, correct? Y'all got Diet Pepsi? How are those found Diet Pepsi's? I had a good time. They were good. It always could be more.

When a cup says this is a big cup, I guess I'm like using 7-Eleven rules. Yes. I finished, I was done with my diet Pepsi, like before my first hot dog portion. Really? Yeah. Oh my God. That lasts me through the day.

That's what that, because it is a pretty big cup. I didn't think it was that. It's not like the biggest big gulp cup or whatever. It's not touching that. No, it's not like a bucket. Yeah. I guess when I see a big cup. A Dunkin bucket.

A big old bucket. Yeah. I had a modelo. I had a day beer. I made funny for me. It was a beer before noon. Beer before. But you know what?

With a hot dog. That's like the ballpark experience, right? I kind of loved it. And it was a nice... A beer before noon with your buddy the spoon. Oh, that's beautiful. Thank you. The children's buff.

Just a beer before noon. So their desserts, we got at a 50-50 bar, which, disappointingly, was just a grocery store, 50-50 bar in the rapper. That's what I got. It was a creamsicle bar. And I was like... Look, there was egg on my face here because I was like,

we were trying to say where, and I was like the 50-50 bar looks like one of the stars of the show. And we were saying that this is like when you're doing the opening titles of the movie and it's with Samuel L. Jackson. You're like, yeah, he's going to be a big part of this movie. Yeah.

It turns out that was not true. It was a grocery bar. I like orange, icy orange bar with creamy vanilla ice cream under it. And I took a few bites. It kind of like back of the freezer kind of vibe to it. freezer. It was not, it was, I took a few bites and I was done with it. Wags, you got the king deserve. Yes. I went minion mode and I got a banana. I got a, so like, they have a frozen

bananas. They take out of there and then they hand dip them in chocolate in front of you. And I got video of the, uh, the, the, the woman there doing it for me. The staff was so nice and they were so accommodating to our unwieldy order. Um, and prepared everything promptly, but it was really like, and I asked her if I could film it and she was like, go ahead. and it's really cool. She pulled it out, like instantly solidified, and then I was eating it, and it was good as fuck. And you had a bite, right, Mitch?

I had a bite, yeah. I love those things. And the showmanship, it's great. It's so dazzling. It's great. Yeah. I'm going to say this. People always question where the minions were in the 1940s.

I'm wondering where they are in the 2020s. I want to move Netanyahu to the side, see if anyone's behind them. That's all I'm saying. question I've been asked. Do you think the minions are eating the fries? Hey, buddy, a good night's rest sets you up for a great day, doesn't it, Mitch? It sure does, Wags.

And that's why you're so happy with your helix. That's right, Wags, I got a moonlight lux. I love it. It's like sleeping on a cloud. You know, I'm like a little cherubic angel. Yeah, like a little chair about that. Is that redundant? Mitch, I would not worry about it because I think people know what you mean.

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Squarespace is the all-on-one website platform designed to help you stand out and make you look like a kick-ass person online. Like you're skateboarding through the internet. Or you're like you're surfing through the web. Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. I like that it's all in one place. I know. I like that I don't have to go around, you know, like different stores or something. It's just all on my website.

Well, it's like, oh, do I need to go to like, do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or like another type of website to upload the like. You know, it's all in one place. The video or audio or like, no, it makes it easy. Make it easy on me, please. Yes. And you can do all those things, photos, videos, changing fonts. You know what I mean the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs.

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So, J.B. Did the podcast before. We will each go around, give our closing argument, if you will, and a score from zero to five for Carnies. You're our guest. We'll begin with you. The preeminent hot dog expert of our time. Your thoughts on Carnies. I think, I mean, I liked every single hot dog we tried. I like them for different reasons. Especially, I think my two favorites were the Red Baron and the Carney Dog, which is crazy because I don't like chili dogs. I do like the Carney. dog, even though the tomato is unwieldy, lose the tomato. Lose any large topping. It's annoying. But I'm going, I'm going for forks, I think, especially because in L.A. hot dogs, a competitive field, I feel like Carnies doesn't get the respect it deserves, and people keep handing it to Pinks, and it's my life's mission to not do that.

So I'm going to go for a forks. Well argued. Go ahead, Mitch. My favorites were the Red Baron dog and the New Yorker. The Red Baron Red Eye and the New Yorker spicy style, to be clear. Those are my two favorites. Right. I really, I liked the fries.

I liked, I liked, I liked Amy Schumer's favorite fries. I thought they were good. I, they were, to me, they were like a plus style in and out fry. They got the grilled onions, the, the, the, was there cheese? There's cheese in there. There's cheese in there. And Thousand Island. Yeah, Thousand Islands dressing grilled onions in cheese.

I liked the fries. I thought the fries were pretty good. Crispy. They did a good job with them. You know, the Red Baron kind of reminded me of a Ronto wrap in a way. It kind of does. There's a little bit. There's a little bit, a little bit.

A little bit there. And the Red Baron with the cheese, too. I feel like the cheese was a big component to why I liked it. Yeah, you didn't get the cheese. It was really good. Ronto wrap. I would have done a Ronto wrap. if my face wasn't Novocaine down twice.

Unfortunately for the listeners, I would have gone into some very funny ronto rap, but I also had a ronto rap thing I was going to do, but just like the moment kind of passed. But it involved like a hot dog and pita, which I was going to say some version of that's Mr. Griffin at a Red Sox game. I was going to say that,

but I just didn't really have the opportunity. So rontow rap. So, yeah, you're not going to eat it. The Peter Griffin joke about eating a hot dog. You're not getting either. We're not getting either of them. Too bad for you guys. Maybe on a future episode we'll talk about it.

There's been a lot of stuff in this episode, though. You got to give us credit. You're trying to say, you're trying to say, there's been a lot of stuff in this episode. It's all coming up in. What's going to stay in? We don't know. We have no idea.

We don't know. Protracted meow. A looping gif of water falling out of your mouth. We can get it. We can get Irma and just loop her for enough 90 minutes. Get Arthur in there too. Yeah, he's really good at doing that. Oh, shut up.

Okay, I didn't know it was a competition. Maybe Arthur and Irma should collab. I love that idea. That's a podcast. I do think that we, I do think it would be fun to have Gemmy meet Wally Nerma and Arthur to meet Wally and Irma at some point. That would talk. We're going to talk about it. Jimmy's met Arthur.

Went pretty well. All right. The pressure's on. Jemmy? You're going to like Wally Nerma. Much better than Arthur. I, not much, but I'm just joking. I love Arthur.

I agree with you about pinks and move over pinks. I think that Carnies deserves this respect. And I'll say this. Hollywood has seen some tough times, swags, and that stretch right there, that Carnies, even though, like I said, I didn't go to it much, but it always felt comforting

that after a set at the comedy store, you could walk over and get some, Carnies if you want it to. A night out of the Saddle Ranch, you walk over to Carnies, you can get some. And it was a place that was open late. And it just is kind of an interesting thing to have there on Sunset Boulevard. And

Hollywood doesn't have a lot of that left. Chateaum Marmont. Carnies right there. What else? I mean, Mel's driving, like those things on Sunset Boulevard. You know. But there's like these staples of Hollywood that are just disappearing. I do like them.

And I like the food quite a bit. And so I'm going to put a lot of respect on his name. And I say, if you come to Los Angeles, go to Carnies. Don't go to Pink's. Five Forks. Mitch, I love that. You know, my score, I settled on in the eatery, and I have not changed my opinion since then. There's nothing that's given me pause.

No offense, Jamie. Amazing timing. I agree with you on Pink's. Pink stinks. Pink's needs to get out of there. Pink's needs the red baron to fly a sortie and blow it to smithereens as far as I'm getting sure. Yeah, some things about, let's get Kaiju Kevin on Pink's. Let's get Irene on Pink's. Let's get Irene, yeah.

Pink's sucks. Yeah. And Pink's is the mecca of tourist for hot dogs. I'll feel bad if Pink's clothes just to be clear. I don't want Pink's to close. I don't want Pink's to close. I maybe do want Pink's to close. If I remember correctly, last time Y'allie, your stomachs were fucked

up. It was awful. You were not okay at that live show. We did with Atlanta Johnston. It was rough stuff all around. The, here's where I was going with this. I really love Carnies aesthetically. Like, I love that it's in a train. I love the Choochoo. I love the parked train car. It's a lot of fun. It's great to dine in. Unlike pinks where the dining in experience is nothing particularly special. This doesn't have to be a comparison by these two chains, these two small chains, these two LA institutions. But I think we're naturally going there because that's one of the things we're thinking about. We're thinking about LA dogs. Go get your ass to sunset. Get your ass to Ventura. I mean, it's a dereliction of duty that's taking us this long to cover Carnies. But I'm glad that the Minions and Monsters tie in was enough of an inducement for us to finally get it.

It's like there's a lot of funny people haven't come on the show. That's right. But it would be a sausage fest. We're now celebrating the sausage fest wags with Carnies. It's been too long. But we've done it. Yeah, and when it comes to we got to get you on, more like we got to get you in to my mouth and then stomach if we're talking about Carney's hot dogs. And maybe the Golden Plate Club. And I think certainly the Golden Plate Club, because this is an easy five forks for me as well. Wow, five forker. Yeah. Wow. Love Carnie.

Who claims to love hot dogs, gave it a, well. I have a very high bar to clear. I agree. But they're very, they're very good. It's tied with, I think, the only, but it's not a chain. The only local hot dog, it's nearby. If you're going to Carnies and you have a second dog in you, tail of the pup.

I like Tyler of Pop. Terrific. And also a great tiki bar right above it. Yeah. Yeah. Mitch and I always got that dog in us. That's right, Wags. Also, Ryan sank it.

Also, Ryan sank it. Ryan sank it right off the back. Yeah, even if you upgraded your score. But I like that you have this discerning hot dog palette. I like that you have the eye bar. Wait, we didn't talk about Red Hot Ranch. Because we were talking about the Red Baron. We're talking about the Red Barron.

We're talking about the Red Eye. Red Hot Ranch in Chicago. which we reviewed for a live show. I fucking loved Red Hot Rant. High bar. It's a bar. It's a bar and the bar is like over your, it's like right at the top of your head.

It's like six feet tall. Yeah. So like you got to reach up to get a drink. That is fun. And then below it, the bar is on the floor. That's good. The bar's on the floor. But yeah, high bar.

You got to reach up. And then, oh, what else is up there? Oh, it's conover's head. All right. All right, send for a segment. I've got a food related exam. Examine Mitch and Jamie must compete for superiority. It's Slop Quiz, Major League Glizzy Edition.

Wow. Do y'all know about the 9-99 challenge? This is nine beers and nine hot dogs and nine innings? Yes, of course. Yeah, this is the thing a lot of parks have. I think it's like impossible. It would kill me. It's not impossible because people have done it.

Wait, like the parks will endorse it. That sounds dangerous. It is dangerous. Wait, parks, I don't think that parks endorse it too up. No, I think they sometimes have, like, actual promotions and, like, novelty boxes you can get. Because it just means like people are going to barf. Yeah. I was like, that's when someone, like, drank so much water on the morning radio that they died.

Yeah. Like, it just seems scary. It's, it's dangerous. I guess you need to really, like that pre-pitch clock, it was probably a little bit easier because the games were so fucking long. But now you've got a tighter window. Yeah, I want to. And it was a three-hour game the other day that I went to, but they're normally, like, you can get out of there in two and a half hours, like sometimes two hours, 15 minutes. Yeah.

All right. This is Slop Quiz, Major League Glizzy Edition. I will give you the name and description of a hot dog. You buzz in with your name. Or actually, you could also buzz in with a baseball thing if you want to do, like you want to say something baseball. Strike. Well, don't say strike because that's going to make things confusing because we'll have another thing. But anyway, tell me the name of the signature hot dog associated – I'm sorry, of the team associated with that signature ballpark hot dog.

So as an example, Dodger Dog, answer would be Los Angeles Dodgers. The bonus points, if you can name the stadium, Dodgers, Dodgers Stadium. and additional bonus point, if you can name the mascot, mascot for Dodgers, none. So, you know, that is your kind of example, your tutorial stage. If you get all three correct, it's a home bun, and you get an extra point.

However, if you get an answer wrong, you'll hear this. Stryke! And for every three strikes, you will lose one point. I wasn't paying attention. Okay, let's just go. I was thinking of a Ronto rap. Do you want to give some of it, spit some bars?

Ronto rap, it's the Ronto rap. Ronto, Ronto, that space meat. C3POs got golden feet. Very good. Rantorap, it's the Ronto Raph. And, you know, we were talking earlier, we were just talking Red Hot Ranch. We were talking the Red Baron Dog, which had the red eye sausage and red cabbage. Let's talk about C3Pio's red arm.

He does. He does have a red arm. What's going on that red arm? I would have thrown into the next verse. Was that worth it? I thought it was worth it. I thought it was worth it. All right.

Next up. First, first proper question. Remember your... Oh, dude, the medication, they gave me weird. They gave me laughing gas today. It wasn't just Novak. They gave me some weird shit today. I'll read the name of the hot dog.

You know who I love this train wreck fries? Who's that? This episode. Schumer's going to flip when she gets this in our RSS feed. This is going to be the killing blow. Okay. I'm going to suck at this. I'll say the name of the hot dog and give it the description.

There may be some clues and perhaps some regional associations because a lot of these are regionally things. Are we supposed to the ball team or just what city it is? Say the name of the team. Then you can say the name of the stadium and then the mascot. You can say the city too. Jesus. All right. No, no.

You get bonus points. Those are bonus points. Got it got, got it. And if you get all three, it's a home bun. Okay, first up. Okay. I don't know Fields at all anymore, but here we go. Fenway Frank, a boiled and grilled Frank.

Fuck. That's the only one I could possibly get. Go. The Boston Red Sox. Yes, that is correct. Fenway Park. Get another point. Wally, the Green Monster.

That's a home bun. It's out of here. Can you say it's out of here when that happens? It's out of here. Okay, great. So Mitch gets four points for that one. Wow. Wow. That was the only one I stood a chance.

I think you have a chance on a lot of these because, again, a lot of the, you know your hot dogs and a lot of these are associated with the region or the city. Is the team name worth two? No, we just won. You get a bonus point if you get all three because it's a home bun. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, so you get one point for each of them and then you get the extra point. Okay. It's not confusing. Yeah, you know who like those train wrecked eyes? This segment. How does that feel?

Steve Reich. Next time. The Skyline Chili Coney Dog. This is a hot dog top of... Cincinnati Reds. Cincinnati Reds is correct. Oh, man, I don't know what field they play at. Cincinnati Park.

Stryke. I forget. I forgot the name of it. Cincinnati Dome. Stey Rike. What is the Reds? It is the Great American Ballpark. Oh, right. I should have gotten that.

And does anyone want to guess the... specific name. Um, uh, the Red Rocket. Seyreik. It's, I got the thing first. Are we counting how many strikes

he has? Yes. Okay. Wait, what? If you get three strikes, you get a, you lose a point. Oh, what the fuck? That wasn't the rules I explained earlier. I didn't listen. I was listening. I was creating the Ronto rap. Who is the Red's mascot? Mr. Red. That's insane. Mr. Red.

Okay. Okay. You have two. Strikes and five points. Okay. Jamie, you have one strike. Okay. That's fair.

Zero points. Next up. I like that it's a lot like baseball where you get three strikes and then you lose a point. It's like an out. You get three strikes and you're out. Okay. All right, great. So you're out means you're out of one point.

The crab macdog, hot dog topped with macaroni and cheese. I mean, this is just not Baltimore Orioles. Mitch is correct. It's at Camden Yards. Camden Yards is correct. Oh, fuck. The Oriole. Are we going to give him the Oriole?

The Baltimore Oriole. I think it's, I think it, I would say, judges, I would say yes. I would say he has to guess the animal or fig creature. Isn't the Oriole bird? No, guy, just making sure. What the fuck? You get a point for knowing who is a bird. This is like a nuclear bomb coughing baby situation for me.

I should have just like let you give the description of. I should have let you give the description of the dogs. Just give me a layup at some point. You know, I am going to. It's out of here. You just, you have now, you now have nine points. Wow, that's a home bun, Mitch. But as we, as we've seen.

This segment sucks. This is a good segment. You know, love this segment? Who's up? Amy Schumer. Oh, I did know. Next up, the Cali Dog. This is a hot dog talked with marinated carneasada,

French fries, pico de gallo, sour cream, and pickled jalapinos. Is there another team in California? Jamie. Is there a team in San Francisco? Oh, boy, you are at quite a structural disadvantage here. Yeah, the San Francisco Giants is not a San Francisco Giants. Okay, so that's not a point, though. Wait, okay, so the San Francisco Giants, the San Francisco Dome?

No, sorry, San Francisco Giants is incorrect. Oh, wait. Is that a football team? No, that's a team. Wait. You don't lose a point because you didn't guess. You didn't guess anything. Go ahead.

San Diego Padres. Steve, right? Did Dodgers have a weird hot dog that no one needs? Three strikes you're out, Mitch. Of a one point, you're down to eight points because you got three strikes. All right. It's getting competitive. It's getting competitive.

What sport do the San Francisco Giants play? The San Francisco Giants are a baseball team. Okay. So it's the Dodgers that have this? No, it is not the Dodgers. It is the forgotten second team in, Los Angeles Angels Angels of Anaheim. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, does anyone want to guess the stadium?

Angel Stadium? Yes, it was. Yeah. Jing ding, da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Jamie is on the board, and does anyone know the mascot? Is it an angel? Fuck. Steer, right?

Thank you. What is it? Is it like a, oh, no, there's the Padre. is in Diego Boudre. It is the, this is one where it's a little bit asynchronous. It's just a little bit random. It's the rally monkey. Oh, right.

The unofficial mascot, the rally monkey. Okay. The Red Sox are good again, and I went to that Red Sox game, and now I've got to watch, but I've fallen off baseball so bad that I'm doing pretty bad here, too. You're doing great here. I've never fallen on, so this is a challenge. Well, say this. If you can just guess the city, that also counts. You don't have to guess the team name.

So you don't have to overthink it. A lot of these, I think, again, Jamie, just based off your hot dog knowledge, you'll be like, okay, I know what region that's affiliated with. Perhaps including the next one. Okay. The Sonoran dog. Jamie is in Arizona? It is the Arizona Diamondbacks. Okay. Do you want to guess the stadium?

No. Okay. Do you want to guess the stadium? I should know it. Arizona. I don't I know it. I can't think of it. It is currently Chase Field. Chase Field. I should have known that. And does anyone know the mass? Does anyone know the mascot?

It's a devil, isn't it? Not. Stey Reich? There we go, thank you. It is Baxter the Bobcat. That sucks. Oh, yeah. That's stupid.

Why isn't a fucking snake? They're the Arizona's dining? I'm just mad that I don't know Chase Field. I'm just, this is just going to get me mad. The segment's just going to get me mad. Let's do the next one. Segman's like those fries. The slider dog.

This is a hot dog topped with pimento, mac and cheese, bacon, and fruit loops. Whoa. What is it? Say it again? It's called the slider dog. This is a hot dog topped with pimento mac and cheese, bacon, and fruit loops. I believe this is meant to be sort of a meme, Instagramable dog. A little random sauce dog. Hmm, I'm guessing... The pimento dog is putting me in, like, maybe the Atlanta Braves. It's not the hotline of Braves.

Really? Can you give a little juice on that strike? St. Right. Well, not like that. What fuck was that? I thought that was a good guess. It was a good guess. Slider dog.

It's not Atlanta. It's not. Are we in like the Midwest or something? We are in the Midwest. We're in the Midwest. What hell is this? Fucking umpires helping you out? The empire feels so bad.

Okay. Is it? How many strikes is Jamie have, by the way? Two. If you get one more strike, you're out. Okay. I would draw. I would draw.

It is the Cleveland Guardians. Oh. Does anyone know the stadium? I didn't know that was a team. Cleveland, oh, I think I maybe know the stadium. I should. I'm like remembering driving by it when we were in Cleveland and Carl Tark got really excited. I should know the stadium and I can't remember.

They may have changed sponsors since then. Yeah, I wonder if it's the one that's the one that's. Yeah, then I'm not going to know. It is progressive field. Oh, right. Shout out to Flo. Amy Schumer would hate that field. And the mascot, hint, it's associated with the hot dog, if you remember the name.

We can't say the old mascot, right? No, should not say the old mascot. Okay, all right. Chief Wahoo was the mascot at that point. Oh, right. They do, they have the... They're now the Guardians. Their mascot is Slider.

Oh. Yeah. Slider. Wait, did they do the hot dog races? No, that's Wisconsin. That's Wisconsin. That's Milwaukee. Wait, yeah.

Wait, what team is it? Oh, is it like a not? No, wait a minute. It's definitely Milwaukee that does the dog. The hot dog race? Yeah. Who the hell is the Milwaukee team? The Brewers.

Oh, right. The Brewers. Okay, I'm going to keep that in mind for a future question. I forgot about the Brewers. The Brewers are not on here. I forgot about them. Uh, you give me, you know what, give me another strike.

Stryke. You know, we love. the mascot for the Cardians Jerry O'Connell Sliders. Also might like

just like, hey, I like sliders too. Why don't they have like a slider instead of a hot dog? It should be a slider. Why is it called

the slider dog that's the sort of thing that drives me fucking nuts? Make it a bunch of little sliders. It's such a gimme.

We talked about your frozen banana that you ate, right? Yeah, but I just want to say that this is a fun thing. I was on the

Karni's website for the dessert and they have a little cookie monster next to the cookies. That is really fun. That's really fun. That's really fun. Okay.

All right. We have two more. Still anyone's game. Because you can accumulate a lot of points with a home bun. Is the most recent strike I gave you canon? Or was that just a joke? Canon. Okay.

Three strikes, you're out of a point. You have it down to seven. I think the segment's good. I'm going around with the segment. I like it. I like that you guys are enjoying it. The Bonmee Brat Dog. Brat dog.

This is a mong sausage typed with pickled vegetables, sliced jalapeno, cilantro, spicy brown mustard, and caramelized garlic aoli. Hmong meaning the Hmong people, the diaspora that's in like Laos and Cambodia and Vietnam, I believe. China, maybe. Okay. So this, I'm like trying to think of, I don't, I have no idea. But if no one wants to get, yeah. Is there what, like, is it in the, is there a team in the Pacific Northwest?

There is a team of the Pacific Northwest. That has nothing to do with the question. Yeah, that is not the, that is not who this is. Okay. Yeah. Because I, maybe would have guessed San Francisco for this one. I would have, I would have guessed that maybe the Giants. There is a large Hmong population in Minnesota, the Minnesota Twins is the team.

So the twins are the team, okay. I wouldn't, I don't, I didn't, I didn't, yeah, okay, Minnesota Twins. I don't want to guess the stadium. Coorsfield. It's not Coorsfield. It's not? Oh, shit. Horse Field is fucking Denver.

I'm fucked up. This is affiliated with a company that is based in Minnesota. If that's any sort of hint. Yeah, I know this. It's Target Field. Oh, Target Field. And does anyone who are you going to guess the mascot? Is it like a big old baseball or is that a different guy?

It's not a big old baseball. The Shining Twins. It's not the Shining Twins. also Stryke My only My only point is gone Oh okay

You have one point Okay The mascot is T.C. Bear We also would have accepted Twinkie who is the mascot from 1980 to 1981 I can't believe by sick I'm just being

I'm embarrassing myself From the baseball fan I used to be This is why I don't like this segment I don't know where to go but down Nothing There's only one more These are more challenging than I realized I guess

I'm gonna win unless It's impossible for me not to win, unfortunately. Okay. You know what, again? Unless I get three strikes, no, it's impossible. You could all or nothing this one. The fish rocks, the fish rots from the head. I designed this segment with help from Amelia.

Steerreich! Well, I will say the original quiz I designed was, I think, much easier. Steen Reich? I picked teams like the New York Yankees, the... Yeah, but your clues were like the New York Yankee dog. It was like... Yeah. They were like a little two on the nose.

But I thought that they'd be able to guess that. They would have been able to get that. It might have worked better. Yeah, I think I would have been able to get that. I think I would have gotten that. Yeah. The New York Yankee dog. I think I could have gotten that.

All right, let's hear the last one, Wags. The last one is the slinger dog. This is a jumbo hot dog topped with two fried eggs, taco meat, nach cheese, and hash browns. Optional toppings include onions, peppers, peppers, and pepper jack cheese. I'm realizing we got rid of the Toronto dog, which was a good one. Because that one had maple on it. Yeah, we could have gotten that one.

I didn't get rid of it. It's my fault. I know, it's my fault. Mine was like, Nathan's famous and like. Yeah, I think those, that's maybe like a lot, some of those would have been tough, too. The slinger dog. It sounds like a good dog. It does sound like a good dog.

It sounds like a breakfast dog. It does. To me, I feel like it might be in the state of Texas. It's not in Texas. Okay. Are you paying attention? I am. It's really hard to keep.

track of all the strikes at the point and then some tracking stuff and then also see the current like the Pacific Northwest you said it's not in the Pacific Fortness that wasn't a strike okay this doesn't have to be a strike

you're kicking me while I'm down removing the strike it is the St. Louis Cardinals does anyone want to guess the stadium I know this stadium it is the arch dome is not the arch dome that's fair

It is I can't remember I can't remember It is affiliated with a beer A Bush Stadium And the mascot I don't think either of you're going to get Unless you happen to know it Mitch

The Cardinal It is not the Cardinal See you're right Thank you It is Fredbird What? I don't fucking know I don't know

See I wouldn't have known any of these Fredbird Fred Bird Not Freebird Amelia's version was better I don't know Amelia's version was better Do you want to read some of the questions from your version?

Or have they been deleted? I deleted them, but I can remember some of them. The New York Yankee dog? Yeah. Okay. That would have been a competitive question. Yeah, it was like New York Yankees. What kind of hot dog do they have at the state?

Oh, I remember one of them. I remember one. The Chicago White Sox, their stadium has a dog that is specific to that. Okay, never mind. was they have to guess what the hot dog was. I'm going to give your segment Schumer's favorite. It gets the label of Schumer's favorite segment. It was the Comiskey dog, if that's how it's pronounced.

Camisky Park. Okay. Oh, okay. So I thought that maybe people could guess it. I think if we'd taken some, the structural elements of my iteration, which got too complicated for the questions, but then took, like, your answers. And so it was like, the Comisky dog. If you knew what Comisky Park was, you could feel.

figure out that it was the white socks. Or maybe it's better to play this game with someone, a guest who's like a baseball fan. That was part of the thing too. Neil Campbell, we should call Neil Campbell and just quiz him with these and see how he does. I bet he would not call him out of the past. We'll try this. We'll try Major League Glissie again.

This was a good workshop. Hey, hey, hey, can everyone listen to me? Everyone, can everyone shut the fuck up when we go get an ice cream? And also, more interestingly, the Chicago Bears, I just learned this. Their signature dog and their stadium is just called the Chicago dog. But then the white socks have the Kamiski dog. It's all very fascinating. Amelia can't get ice cream.

This is the four of us getting ice cream. Just like a restaurant, I value of your feedback. That's about the feedback. Today's email is for Rachel. Rachel writes, Hi, Doe Boys, my partner and I just saw The Odyssey, and we're thinking that Christopher Nolan really missed some opportunities for product placement. What food drink a restaurant product would you most like to see the characters of the Odyssey enjoy?

Thank you for everything, Rachel. That's fun. We're going to have a branded tie-in for The Odyssey. I guess this is actually in the movie. This is the sort of thing where you'd see like, I mean, the classes makes, or not the Cylops, makes cheese. It feels like... Cynclops cheese, but also, wouldn't it be fun?

What's the thing that you get, like, double of? You know what I'm saying? You get two of, and then for the Cyclops, one, you just get one. Two hot dogs? Well, that's just you, you, fat fuck. Like a hostess? thing where you usually get two yeah it's like two Twinkies but it's one

yeah I'm saying like the Cyclops version it's a sting it's not as fun to get one yeah but that's kind of fun single single solo Twinkie a solo Twinkie and it's big a solo big Twinkie that's fucking good A Cyclops Twinkie The Cyclops Twinkie is really fucking good

That's fucking good A Cyclops Twinkie is just a minion That's true Wait were they looking for branded tie-ins or product placement in the movie I think this I think the idea was product placement but I think we can have a little bit of leeway with the prompt. But yeah, in terms of product placement,

I think that that might actually just utterly destroy any sort of, you know, reality within the film. If all of a sudden you see them. I think they should sponsor the horse, like a NASCAR. Yeah, if they ate a big Twinkie, I think I'd be a little confused. I'd be a little taken out of the reality. Yeah, I don't think that would be great. This is a time where magic of apparent magic.

And then all of a sudden someone's, you know, fucking eating some jollaby. Yeah, eating some jollaby. Although the jolly bee in the movie would have been fun because he's kind of a fantastical creature. He is a fantastical creature. Oh, you could just like get a mascot in there. Yeah, just have a mascot. The guys who were in the big iron suits

if they took their helmets off and they were the jolly bee, it would be pretty fun. That would be pretty funny. And also the Cyclops could just be the grimace. He could be grimace. Yeah, that would be fun too. Yeah, he's just white grimace. He's white grimace.

Well, that's kind of your thing. The pig transformation soup is Panera. Wait, why? It's probably not. Oh, it's just the soup is from Panera? You know what? You can get ice cream now. You're back in.

She's back. If you have a question. A Pink transformation ship would be, like, that would be a fun, branded thing to be. I feel like Brins don't like being associated with, like, the evil or the bad characters, right? Like, if it's a bad guy, you don't really want them associated with Panera. How about the siren? I haven't seen it, so I'm assuming the pig soup is associated with the bad guy. It's a bad.

Yeah. Well, she's actually not too bad. She's not that bad. How about siren soup? Siren soup. Explain. It's kind of like the Navi shake a little bit. I mean, it is a little bit like,

there could be a little thing on the side of it that makes noise the siren soup, and then you can't stop eating it. It's delicious. It's kind of funny. You can't stop eating the pig soup, and then you also can't stop, like, swim into the sirens. You hear their song. It's kind of a double beat there.

It is kind of a double beat, Wikes. Homer do better. That wouldn't have made it. If they had run that story by you, things would have gone very differently. And then also all the suitors, maybe they're all eating some fast food. If you have a question of a copy of order for dinner,

perfect ending. You have said stuff. Skillet and Caribnus, it's like a blizzard or something like Are you reading from the Wikipedia over there? No. I just like the Odyssey. Oh, alright.

I'm sorry. Did you see the Odyssey? No. You ought to see it. Who are the server guys? What did you say? But they're also just big. The big guys, they're just fucking big.

They have some weird. They have some name about it. Oh, there's the thing that has like three heads. You could do something with that too. Oh, yeah. Like a three-headed Sunday. Right. Like the Hydra?

Yeah. Well, Cerberus isn't in the movie. It's not Cerberus. It's the fucking, yeah, Scylla. The Odyssey. Serbris isn't in the fucking Odyssey. I know, but I was referring to the ancient version. What?

The original. The original. Surbrus isn't the original Odyssey? No, right? No, I don't think so. Maybe not. I have an idea. Anyway, the answer is the Jollybee.

If you have a question regarding about the world of chain restaurant, GMS at Feedback at BirdFuck.com or at least in Westlady. Zeus's shake. 830-463-844. Our producer is Emma Erdbrink. Our associate producer, Amelia Marino, our video editor, Mike Dorfman. We got merchant kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. And Emma, I don't know if you have those dates in front of us,

but we got some live shows coming in November. Ooh, I don't know the dates on top of my head, but it's the week before Thanksgiving. We're going to be in Houston, Dallas and Austin. Austin, late show still has tickets available. Houston, tickets available. Austin. Nope, what's the other one?

Dallas, available. There we go. November 17th, Dallas, November 18th, Austin, November 19th. Late show added, Wilbur. But we added a late show, the first show is sold out. Yes. I think we're going to get you home or something. What's going on here?

This is all important information. And then we're going to Wilbur in Boston. On the 25th. The 25th. That's the night before Thanksgiving Eve. So come on out and celebrate with the doughboys. It's going to be a pretty drunk crowd. The zoo's shake could have like pop rocks in it.

And then it, you know, like it's, I know you don't like lightning sort of effects to it. But like a milkshake with pop rocks. Right. But on the top, you know, you get it. It's fine. Do they start popping in the milkshake? I think that might be the issue. Liquid that makes, like your spit is what makes it pop.

I think that might be that. I think that maybe would be this. Have they not updated the technology with pop rocks? They should. They're pretty whack. They should. And you get the Do Boys double our wheeled bonus episode at Patreon.com slash doughboys.

Jamie Loftus, thank you so much. Congratulations on the book. Please, please plug away. Yeah, you can get my hot dog book anywhere, and it's called Raw Dog. And then my new book should be on pre-sale by the time this comes out. It's called The Tower. It's about a lady who fucks buildings, and you should pre-order it. It'll be fun. I'm finishing it. It'll be done when you get it. I have a prediction for the Tower. It is not going to be Amy Schumer's favorite because it is not going to be a train wreck. Wow. It's, wow. Thank you. Can I use that on the cover?

Yeah, please use that as a polebook. Amy Schumer would hate it. When it comes out, can we go review towers of onion rings, like the onion ring towers that they sell? That's really fucking good. Let's please put that on the calendar. That's great. My, my, my, it's starting, it's genuinely almost, has almost gone away.

Prove it, drink some water. Normal. A little bit filled out. That'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time, for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Tiger Wager. Happy eating. See ya.

That was a hate gum podcast.