Doughboys - Chick-fil-A 3 with John Hodgman

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

John Hodgman (@johnhodgman, Judge John Hodgman) joins the 'boys to talk seafood, New England eats, and fried chicken before a review of Chick-fil-A. Plus, the debut of a new segment, Sherlock Crumbs.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.pitco.com/blog/a-brief-history-of-french-fries-as-the-ultimate-side-re-optimized/https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/cold-water-secret-making-waffle-140406249.htmlhttps://medium.com/pilot-island/waffle-vs-straight-cut-fries-65dfb7fe173chttps://www.businessinsider.com/chick-fil-a-history-and-facts-2016-1https://www.chick-fil-a.ca/en/stories/inside-chick-fil-a/what-to-know-about-our-waffle-potato-friesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. New Year, same extra value meals at McDonald's. Now get a savory sausage McMuffin with egg, plus hash browns, and a small coffee for just $5. For limited time only.

Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery. As early as the 17th century, Belgian villagers began frying potatoes in the same oil they used for fish. birthing a dish known as frets or fries. The oily salted tuber strips were wrongly attributed to the French by dumbass Americans and consumed by the fistful by fat-ass Americans,

often alongside other appropriated national cuisines like hamburgers and hot dogs. But in 1979, Edgar Matzler reinvented the century's old side via his patent for a waffle-fry potato cutter. This novel new potato preparation, with the crunchy soft texture of a fry but the flatter, wider form factor of a chip, If you're a Brit and wondering, what's all this then? Replace fry with chip and chip with crisp. Was scaled up first in flash frozen form by Lamb Weston in 1983,

and more notably by a fried chicken sandwich chain in 1985. First founded in 1948 by S. Truitt Kathy and region locked in the American South for decades. In the 21st century, a national and then international expansion spread its greasy wares worldwide, but also made it a flashpoint of political controversy, self-imposed by its evangelical family ownership's financial support of anti-LGBQ causes. Nevertheless, the company boasts the highest per-store sales average of any American fast food chain and buy sales as the third largest chain restaurant in the nation. And despite chicken being forefronted in its name and marketing,

with its misspelled Eat More Chicken Bovine tagline, the chain's highest selling item remains, Edgar Matzler's brainchild, waffle fries. This week on doughboys, we return to Chick-Frile. Filet. Welcome to Do Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Wiger along with my co-hosts. Close encounters of the Gerd kind, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell.

Gerd. Gerd. GERD. GERD. GERD. What is it? Gastrointestinal reflux disorder. It's an acid reflux.

They put E. Esophageal. O, esophageal. Oh, that's that's what's okay. Eighty. Esophageal. Esophageal. Gastroesophageal. Gastrointestinal esophageal reflux disorder?

All right. That's a crazy. What an acronym. It's just gastro esophageal. No, intestinal. I think that's like up here. Right. Intestinal is low enough.

Yeah. That's not bubbling up. Yeah. Okay. Gastro esophageal sounds very highfalutant. Gastro asophageal. Gastro and so. Yeah.

Gastro esophageal. Gastro esophageal. Gastro esophageal. Very sophisticated. It sounds very sophisticated. It's a Frazier word. Yeah, it is. Gastro esophageal.

That Frazier would have no issue with the gastro and it almost sounds gastronomical. It does. You know what I mean? It does. Very fitting for our show. Like this plate, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, uh, charcutory board is very gastro esophageal. Speaking of Frazier, Katie from Seattle sent that in, uh, with the message,

sorry. Uh, P.S. my ex-husband got me the doughboys Patreon as a wedding gift that's all the judge needed to hear to grant me an annulment thanks to the laughs throughout the years been listening since the first app roast at birdfuck.com wow wild if true what was it what was the roast again

close encounters of the gird kind it could have been like GERD like NERD you know that is that that musical group I think Spielberg is on the brain because of the blank check Spielberg mini series and our appearance on the Spielberg mini series. So I think that's probably why that the genesis of that. And our three hour episode with Griffin. That's right. Yeah. David was also there. David was also there. David was also there. How did you know? How did you know, the 1941 episode? Or are you talking about? Oh, you're talking about. Oh, you're talking about. Oh, you're talking about. Doe Boys episode. You did not know that. No. Where am I? What movie are we talking about? Uh, well, we'll get to it. Okay. We'll get in.

Doctors G-E-R-D. Come on, you nerds. Yeah, fucking doctors. Thanks for nothing. Chains a G to an end. Fucking brainiacs. Yeah, fucking condescending pricks. I'm drinking some methylene blue.

What is it called? What's the stuff that RFK was drinking on the plane? Oh, I don't know the name of it. Yeah, methylene blue. Is that methylene blue? It's fish tank cleaner. It's used for fish tank cleaner a lot of the time. And RFK Jr. was drinking it on an airplane?

He was drinking it on an airplane the other way. You were on the text third where it was sent. I don't remember. I don't think I watched it. What do you think of that RFK? His wife's funny. His wife is very funny. Big fan of his wife as a performer.

I think that my big thing is like if he actually is like let's get these additives out of food, let's improve the food standards of America. Confirmed. I'm saying like there are. Everyone's cozying up to the new administration. There's some good he could do that he's not going to. going to do because the actual regime that appointed him is totally indebted to corporate overlords who don't want to do something like, for instance, if it's like here's a thing, American chocolate sucks compared to Canadian chocolate, which we had as comparison. It's like way, it's way the fuck

better because their standards are higher. There could be a thing the FDA is going to say, like, hey, to be, to qualify as chocolate, you make a Kit Kat bar, it actually needs to meet the threshold that is used internationally for the amount of cocoa. It can't have all this high fructose corn syrup to blow it. It can't have all these artificial flavors. He's not going to do that because he's not going to be given the power to do that because if he tries to actually do that, he'll lose his job because that will displease the people who- Yes, who fund the whole campaign. So, I mean, I don't know.

I mean, it's just, he's a goblin, but there is some good that could be done if he was allowed to enact some of his principles, not all of them, because some of those shit is truly foul. Do you ever remember a boglin growing up? A boglin? Yeah. Do you not remember bogglins? Do you mean boggle?

No, not boggle, bogglins. What is a boglin? Google it. You do it. You Google it. Why? You know what it is. Yeah, just explain what it is.

It's a little goblin that you can put your hand in and it was a little cage. A puppet? Like a finger puppet? No, no, yeah. I mean, a hand puppet. It was a puppet. And it was called a boglin? Yeah, it's called a boglet.

I don't remember this. They were originally released in 1987. Wow. I didn't have one. You're too old for it at that point. I have a new segment called Mitch's Sleep Score. Okay, great. I got a 96 out of 100 last night.

I think that if I'm just telling people, I want to tell people my sleep score every episode so we can see if a good night's sleep relates to me being funny at all or making any sense. That boglin thing came out of the last 4% obviously. Because I don't know what the fuck that was. I wasn't trying to be funny with boggling. I don't even know what is a complete non-sequitur. You're not even talking about RFK Jr. That's in the 96% because I remembered Boglins from childhood.

Oh, yeah, sure. Were you just thinking about your childhood? Why did it even come up? Always. What a better time. Oh, my God. It's a good time to be nostalgic. Remember five months ago?

Hey, can we shout something? And this will be belated by the time this episode comes up. There's a couple of big birthdays in the family. First off, the Drop King Robert Bersinger. D.K. Happy birthday. But I'd say, you know, more significant to our immediate company. You don't have to, well, you don't have to, you don't have to qualify. A more important birthday.

Okay. Emma Urb-Brink has happy celebrating a birthday. HBD. Emma. Today? No, on Sunday. Oh. So it'll be belated by the time this episode comes out, but HBD. Emma. I appreciate it.

That's wonderful. You're not a birthday guy. I feel like you, I feel like I understand other people, it's like important other people. Well, I feel like I've had to bring up my own birthday in the past. I know your fucking birthday. I know your birthday. He has learned over the years that it's a human tradition to acknowledge. Right.

I am much like Wagger. Like I'll maybe get like. a nice dinner and, like, spoil myself on my birthday, but I'm not, like, having a party or doing anything. Like, I don't want, I don't, that's not me. For, as I get older, having a gathering is actually, like, people are like, it's good that you do this. It's, like, the only time I see people in the year.

Yeah. And then there's also, like, a layer of, like, there are less of us. Well, I'm not all dying. All your friends are. I've had one close friend who's died. That's true, yeah. I guess since then.

Since 2000, since, since, I think you have, you kind of have that. That's what I just to say. It didn't mean just death, but I mean people like kind of, you know, move to different places, drift out of your life. Or died. There's much less of us this year. You're acting like it's like the Simpsons episode

with the Flying Hellfish or something. Should we have a Do Boys tauntine? Whoever, like, survives the longest gets the treasure. I like that. I like that. I think we should do it with everyone who works for Doe Boys. We should all get a key in a ring. I mean, it's going to be me, Mr. Burns,

trying to kill you after that. Happy birthday, Emma. I hope you have a great day on Sunday. And, hey, I know your birthday, too, little August boy. Yeah, that's right. The day? Wait, what is your birthday? August 28th.

August 28th. Also, my parents' wedding anniversary. Wow. How about that? It's easy for me to remember. Mitch, didn't I make a mistake about your birthday recently? I think I had your birthday in the wrong day. You texted me happy birthday and I was like, what are you talking about?

You're right. You said, fuck you doctors. That was weird. Then you texted, have you ever heard of Bogwins? I don't even know what's happening. Oh, Thursday night birthday for WISE this year. That's fun. Ooh, are we going to record on Mike's birthday?

No, probably. He won't care, that is for sure. Nick, I'm putting it in my ICAL. Okay, for our audio listeners, we're all just on our devices now. You're adding, you're putting my birthday in your calendar. You're searching Boggling. Hodgeman is updating his. August 28th anniversary of Nick coming online.

And then I am binging boglin. Let's see. Bing bongs. Bing bong. The boglins. One G. Oh yeah. These guys are freaks. These guys are big time little freaks. You kind of interrupted myself. Well, can I see one? I want to see them. Yeah, I'm just trying to get a good picture. They're kind of cute in the freaky way. Everything's so fucking bad. All right these guys. Yeah, there we go. Yeah.

You're saying everything's so bad now because those are cool as hell. No, I'm more, I just mean like search has gotten so bad. It's all like, you know, it's all like AI assisted. And then also like if you're trying to just find an image. image. It's just, even that's a pain in the ass now. That probably looks like he drank a little too much methylene blue. There's another one, green guy. That one, he looks like a turd, that one. He does look like a turd.

And how much, like these fit over your fist? Yes. All right. Mitch, I know you got a drop to play. Six hours and 38 usage minutes last, of six hours and 38 usage hours total. Is that what asleep is called usage hours? Usage hours. Okay.

Hours is called sleep now. Oh, because of because you're using your device. Mask seal was good. Good mask seal 20 out of 20. Nice. Events per hour, point nine events per hour, as opposed to 80 that I had before. An event means you're kind of can't breathe properly. Oh, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Or like if you're sleeping in like, the big game. It will mark that too. What? The big game. It's happening.

Stop it. Say it a third time. Oh, right. that's when they come that's when they come get you that's shit we can we can replace that with a burp ball

here here here we'll just dub this in the big game I'll give you an alt the big game yeah let's get off to fuck use that one

the first one like you get options you know whatever you do it back and forth yeah or that's a boglin bowl the boglin bowl the boglin bowl would be

blast Buckland bowl does that fun. Man, I used to be so hype for the Bud Bowl, which I know we talked about in a Patreon episode, but I thought the Bud Bowl was so cool. We spent a whole episode talking about the Bud Bowl. We did do a Bud Bowl episode and then on most of it we were just like, man, we loved the Bud Bowl. And then we realized that we were like being like age seven being indoctrinated to like a beer brand. Sure. Yeah, exactly. Animated beers are cool. I'll drink that someday. The two of you wearing your Joe Camel shirts smoking cigarettes.

Then you protested Bud Light a few years ago, I know. They got me back. One mask on and off. One mask on off. Does that mean you involuntarily took it off? Yeah, but I don't know how that happens because I never do take it off. Do you think you like roll over and just like knock it? Honestly, I don't think so.

Because it's always just, it's always just one. Wally and Nerma do like to play with it. That's what I was going to wonder. I wonder if Wally and Irma wanted to take it off to give Daddy a kiss. Maybe that could have. I mean, I don't know what happens that they, while I'm sleeping, take my mask off and give me a little kiss. which is cute. It would be very cute.

It's very cute. I mean, it would blow my mind if that's what was happening. Do you have a camera in your room? You might want to set up a camera. I have a camera in my room. Yeah, you should see if those little cats are taking your mask off. Give you a kiss on the lips. Time to kiss daddy, meow.

Put that online. That would be good. I'd watch that. I have a nest camera in my room to watch the cats. And it's like mostly just, I'll look at it sometimes. It'll just be like footage of. me coming out of the shower, being like, this is horrible to see.

Oh, you sent me that once because you could hear it. Hold on a second. Time out. Time out. Hang on. I think, time out.

Hold on. Time out, not that. I never, I have never sent you footage of me coming out of the shower. There's some reason we've all been called into human resources.

I don't even know. We're going to call you the PGA, the podcast guilds of a of America, which we, unfortunately, James shares the same name as what is it? Yeah, what is it? The professional golf of golfers association. Well, there's also

Pro golfers association. Pro golfers association. Pro producers guild. Oh, they're PGA too. There's All right, well, it's the PGA for the Podcast Guild. Please. Please. Petus guys associated. Nick and I are PGM. I'm a PGA member. Yeah, I'm a PGA member, too.

I feel like I have to clarify that Mitch sent me a clip from this camera, not, he wasn't in the clip. I hate how this podcast has changed me. I never would have made a penis guys associated. I used to be sophisticated. I used to be gastroesophageal. You know what I mean?

It's true. I used to be like an intellectual humorist and now I'm like penis guys associated. You can't have your come to God moment here. Emma needs to come. Oh, God. Emma needs to. That's a real Catholic shit right there.

Emma is clarifying. You do not pull in Charlie Rose. I did not be like like, oh, I'm getting. Oops, I got out of shower. Sorry about that. It was like a year ago and you thought on the camera audio you could hear a voice in your house. And you're like, can you hear this? And I put it in an audio program to turn it up to see if I could hear a voice in your house. And it was spooky.

It was definitely spooky. Mitch was not in the video. And honestly, the cats weren't either which pissed me off. But that's besides me. So Emma, since you received that, do you think you can hack into Mitch's house like just so that maybe I can whisper things to him and convince him? This is haunted. This is actually. This is actually.

This coincides with when I was losing my mind. Yeah, it was like a year ago. This is when I lost my mind and I thought my house was haunted. Did I talk about, I talked about this on the podcast? You talked about this so much on the pot. I mean, I lost my mind in the last year. You sent me on the pot at one point. That's right.

You did think you were hearing voices. I'm sorry. I do remember that. It was sorry to make fun of it. I don't know. Look, I'm in a lot. I'm a much better place and I remember. I mean, I knew it was crazy.

I told you this before when I was blessing my house with Holy Water. And then my next door neighbor saw me. And I was like, I, this is insane. What has happened to me? I, like, have lost my mind. I've gone insane. But, uh, that clip is scary, is spooky. Turned out it was SportsCenter.

But still, it was spooky. I've been going through stuff I'd never gone through before. I'd never to, like, to, like, the two times that's happened to me in my life is one when I had OCD. And I was like, why do, why do I keep having like a recurring thoughts? Yeah. And I was like, what's wrong with me? Intrusive thoughts. Why is this happening?

And so that's when I found out about OCD, not UCB, OCD, well, not much later it used to be, but OCD and I, like, went to the doctor and figured that out. And then the other time was this time where I was like, I'm like dizzy and I don't know what's happening. Can you say OCD? Are you referring to official come dudes? Also members.

Talking about fucking intrusive thoughts. That's membership's getting expensive. Now it's not clear. It comes back on the menu boys. It comes back on the menu boys. We can say it now. I've never wanted to say that word ever in my life and now I feel like I have to.

I'm sorry, you were talking about a... Cumb beard comes and saves the two little... Where I'm now getting into... I'm just getting into the moment of Lord of the Rings. You said you called Treebeard cum beard, yeah, cum beard. Okay, so they're just a subsidizing... It's a cover thing.

It's great. It's great. I don't know wrong... You don't like cum... If there was a scary movie-type movie and there was cum beard, you wouldn't like cum beard? Yeah. A big thing made out of cum that saves the hobbits. And instead of, like, Frodo and Sam, wise it would be a cum-dough and come-wise yeah okay i get what you're saying yeah i get where your head is

cum wise is pretty good come maria doc brandy cum yes there you go come come do is an alt title for this podcast but cum do is just a little bit harder anyways i lost my mind yeah you were talking about an adverse health event and i apologize no that's no that's no they don't please don't apologize i you have to make light don't you have to you have to laugh don't you laugh on your cry right why's the lesson of 2025 so far, right? That's right. But it was a scary, and I've done much better.

I've been using my, I pushed through, I'm using my C-PAP. I'm, uh, look great. I'm, oh, thank you. I'm trying, I'm trying. I'm trying. You know, I'm trying to. Thank you so much. I'm catching a lot of tiger on that thigh. Boy, oh, boy. It's not by accident. Let me tell you.

Ooh. Okay, so, yeah, go on. Oh, no, you see that. I was just thinking of like Lord, like, like, a cum, Lord of the Rings. Like, uh, like, uh, Gandalf the white, uh, would be like at the edge of the bridge, against the not the ball rack

the ball sack you shall not bust trying to get him to edge and then the ballrog busts and falls

oh and falls I honestly I give you Craig in my head I was thinking you shall not come and you shall not bust

is a great and maybe you shall not come no I think you shall not bust is great yeah you can't just say

come for everything that's true I mean We could, but it gets a little stale. I mean, you often do. I'm trying to, I guess, something with my precious, but I don't know, my pre-com. I don't know. I don't know.

It's pretty good. I like that. Why? Why do I like it? I'm a grown man. I'm taking Zepbound. I've told people on the podcast, I'm taking Zepbound, and my insurance isn't covering it, so I don't know what to do now. Going out of pocket?

I might have to, but it's too expensive. What are you taking? Zep bound. I don't know what that is. Zepbound is one of those class of drugs like a WeGovie or a Zempec. It's like a GLP1 inhibitor.

A GLP something or another? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So have you been taking it? I have. But now your insurance is saying no more. My insurance said you have enough. It said, you look great. My insurance sent to Texas

said you look great. We saw you through your end. Yeah, we just saw a video of you in your bedroom that Emma sent us and then also we heard the podcast that you do and we are now dropping coverage for everything. I mean, that is probably a part of the issues that I have a fast food podcast,

which honestly it saves me because I wouldn't, I would eat so much more of this junk. If not, we have more food on the way. We didn't say this. But, I mean, we should announce this because it's a fun kind of emergency. We do have more food on the way. We have more food that is coming right now.

You got to play your drop. We got to get him with a drop. Wigues me, matey. It's time to hit up these landlubbers with a drop. Fill your ears with this Chrome tab. Select Share tab audio and then share. Dear God. Smoke it.

Hey, buddy. From Wigar. Pirates. Pirates. A little boom. From Wiger. A month of pirate-themed restaurants and other shit on the double. I'll do anything.

I'll do anything. anything to get on the doughboys. Would you rather spend 12 hours in the ocean in the dark? Yes. But you know I can't say no to the dough? I said yes. I said yes to the mess. I wish I had signed an NDA.

Wow. How to Spoon Nation. Hi, the Pirates Booty episode is really good. Sincerely, Count Dropula. Wow. Thanks, Count Dropula. I like that. To quote MC Hammer, they put me in the mix.

They sure did. That was very flattering. That was really fun. NDA reference there. Nice dick association. I always love how MC Hammer when he's saying, Hammer, Hammer, Hammer, I am, hammer. They put me in the mix. It's like, it's your song.

I'm not surprised. Wait, what reference? NDA. NDA. NDA. NDA. NDA. Count pod.

Nine dicks aloud. I don't know. Only nine. I didn't want to say no because that's the opposite of the intention. Count Dropula. I don't know what the rules are for Count Dropula. I bet you he probably doesn't go in the sun anyways if I had a guess he's one of our listeners.

Wise, I feel like listening to that made me upset that I, I, like, I heard the pirate voice. I'm like, I can do a much better, like, no, I'm saying, I'm not, try it? I mean, like, do you want me to try it? Like, if I was, like, on a TV show and, like, you have to be like, Yeah, you got cast as a pirate. You got cast as a pirate. Well, see, now this is true, because, like, you know, it would be, like, like, that is,

isn't that, like a captain hook? I don't know what I would try. It depends on what the tone is. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you thinking like you're in, because Pirates of the Caribbean is pretty arch. That's pretty much like kind of like a, you know, are you in that or are you in something that's a little bit more of a grounded historical take on piracy? Can you do one for me just so? Argi, Mates.

That's pretty good. Arr. Like I think I would just do more gutter. A little bit more of a grizzled. Yeah, I felt like I was half-assied. Or maybe I'm just not good at it at all, that's what I'm finding out. No, I think you were maybe half-committed in that. It's not always nice to listen to your own voice when it's played back.

That's probably part of it, too. I also think you were trying to talk yourself through sharing a drop when we were remote. So I'm not sure you even anticipated it saying that. Were we remote at that point in time? Well, you said share Chrome tab. So I think you were trying to share something remotely. We were still remote in some way. It's what it might have just been.

Hodgman was in New York. That's probably what it was. Drops at BirdFocke.com. Our guest from Judge John Hodgman and Dicktown on Hulu, John Hodgman. Thanks so much for being here. It's so nice to be back. I'm not in New York since you guys. That's right.

You're in person. You have to, you're doing this video. thing now. That's right. I can only come out once a year to see you. Hey, it's great for us. And it's really nice to see you both. I always enjoy you, but I'm really here for Gemmy.

This is a long time coming. Jimmy is an angel, so to speak, two years. I've been here and Jimmy was not here. She's very soft. Last time I was really, really mad. I was mad about it. She got a wiped down? Well, it's been, it's wet outside, so she was covered in dirt and mud after her walk,

so she got a wipe down. You're so soft today. Everything that I hoped for is true. Jimmy is a very sweet dog and a very smooth dog. I like smooth fur. No offense, long-haired dogs and cats, including my own dumb-dum cat. I know you're watching, but I do love a smooth fur animal. It's really nice.

I know I've had the sleepy week. I think it's because of the weather a little bit. Sure. It's wet today. Wet, yeah. I like wet L.A. Me too. We need it.

Yeah. We need it more than anything. Okay. So you're from the East, like you live in the East Coasters. Side of these ghosts. That's right. But I, but you have a connection with Emma, which is that you both have spent time in Maine. That's true. And I don't know. You're maniacs. I mean, I'm really happy you're here, Emma and Jemmy too, but I'm always happy to learn that you're in Maine. That makes me very jealous and I'm excited for you. So here's what I wanted to bring up because Emma is a lobster skeptic, although you are a part-time Mayner. It's like, it's insane. It's not a food that you know. They're real. Yeah. You can, I'm telling you. I've seen it. I know they're real. They just, my mouth. doesn't like them. I don't know what it is. I don't like the texture of them. Yeah, they can be

trash. Yeah. You're like butter? I love butter. Well, my dad does lobster bakes and stuff with everybody and he has like a big lobster dinner. He just gets me a few scallops and he makes me a little scallops on the side that I have instead of lobster. So, yeah, I'm spoiled rotten. Look, scallops are nothing to sneeze at. What you want is that claw meat and that knuckle meat. Oh, sure. That tail meat is trash. I know how to crack and clean it. I just got a poop tube in it that you don't want to eat. You clean all that out. Yeah. My grandpa used to just go full-blown.

He would eat the poop tube. He would eat everything. The gastrosophageal tract. What is the green stuff called? Tamale. Tamala. He'd eat the tamale. I eat that.

I eat that. He'd eat the tamala. Wow. Which is fucking gnarly. What is that? The liver? It's the liver and it turns green. It's truly disgusting looking.

But it is very tasty. Yeah, I know if I've ever had that. But I've got nothing against awful in general. Like, I'll eat organ meat. Why not? Yeah. A poop tube, you do have to clean out the poop tube, which is... Yeah, I would not.

I'm not eating shit. I'm not a fucking animal, but like I'll, you know, I'll eat the rest of it. Why not? There's always, with shrimp, if you go to a restaurant, too, it's the thing I know. Oh, you get a shrimp that's not devained. It's fucking disgusting. Get this out of here. But lobster is often...

It happens way more than you would think. And I think you sick, though? I think, I mean, I don't think it's, it certainly can taste terrible, but I think it's like, yeah, it's not a thing you should be eating. I think if it's been boiled, it's probably, you know, not going to be the end of the world. but like it's a little shrimp shits. It's disgusting. Shrimps. Yeah.

Shrimps shits. Shrimps shits. Shrimps shits. Nasty. Yeah, I'll take a bag of shrimp. Leave out the shits. That's what you have to say in some restaurants. What is your favorite seafood?

Is it lobster? I mean, my favorite seafood is probably fried clams. Oh, yeah. That's a lot of fun. And I really like whole belly clams, which is, you know, not just the strips, but it's got the gunk in it. I like gunk. Like, I'll eat gunk. Yeah, I'm down for the gunk.

You know what I mean? Mitch is pointing is gesturing at me because you took me to get some fried clams. In Quincy, Massachusetts. A lot of fun. Oh, where'd you go? The clam box or the other one? I think it was the other one, right? Tonys?

I think we actually went to both, didn't we? Did we go to both? I remember Tonys. I used to go there with my mom and dad when I was a kid. Did you really? Oh, my mom loved fried clams. We would go out to Quincy on the beach there. I can't remember which one we would go to, though.

There's two. Tony's, right? In the Clambox. I think Clambox is more famous. Yeah. And then I think Tonys is maybe better. I forget what the, I forget what the, I remember being taken to Tony's as possible.

We went to both places. I remember going with Mookie. That was the most recent visit. We got a nice lobster roll too, did we not? Had a lovely time. Yeah. Yeah. My mom is no longer alive. I miss her a lot.

She could put away a lot of fried clams. I really learned. I learned it the knee of a champion. I love it. Yeah. That's my, my mom and sister, my sister was a huge oyster fan.

And then, like, loved oysters. Yeah. That has hemachromatosis can't eat oysters anymore. Oh, no. Like your face, imagine that they were like, you got it. Mitch, you got a, you know, pizza chromatosis or something. And I couldn't eat.

I mean, I guess it doesn't, that isn't a one-to-one in many ways. Like, it's not called, you know, oyster chromatosis. But you get what I'm saying. You can't eat pizza anymore. I would be like, I would be, I would be, I would be, some egghead doctor tells you can't eat pizza. I know, one of those assholes. Yeah.

I would be fucking, I would be, I would be, I would be, but she can't, she can't, she can have, she can have, she can have, she can't have, she. But the raw oysters. I do love raw oysters. That's another seafood that I really. enjoy. They are. Look, we'd, we mentioned this a few episodes back, but we were in San Francisco for Sketch Fest, which you also were up there. I was there. Judge John Hodgman, yeah. And while we were up there, we took a little side trip to, after the show, to have a meal. Did you go to Hog Island?

We went to Hog Island and we had a lot of oysters. It was wonderful. Was it the ferry terminal? It was a very terminal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was Jordan Morris there? Jordan was. How about that? Was Chankton there? Chankton was also there. A hundred percent guessing right now. That's incredible. You know, I was a late seafood starter. I had, I would eat, when I was young, I'd eat lobster. You know, I was as a kid, even though growing up near the ocean, like you, growing up on the coastal climate and seafood is an abundance, but I just thought it was like weird. And like as daring as I would get would be salmon, but it would have to be drenched in some sort of sauce.

I'm not talking about something that was fried. Fried is like a different thing, you know, like, like fish chips. I love fish chips. Or fried shrimp or whatever. But like seafood not in that form where it's covered with some sort of batter. Yeah, I was a little skeptical of for a... I wonder... This is me being like, I wasn't...

I wasn't that daring, but then I'm sure, like, comparatively, it's pretty good because I was... Fish, shrimp, scallops, and... When you get shrimp, do you get the shits in or the shits off? Shits out. Shits out. Shits out. Shits out. Shits out shrimp. Scallops, lobster, and then, like, baked,

clans. Like, a... Oh. Yeah, that's more daring. Stuffed clams. Stuffies. Yeah, stuffies. Rhode Island style. stuffies are very delicious.

Yeah. From Berksi food, they have great stuffed clams. Yeah. And because you can't taste the clams, basically.

Yeah. They put so much linguisa in there and stuff. Like that, that Portuguese-style stuffed clam where they put in the spicy sausage.

Yeah, that's very good. And clam chowder. But I would not do, when I was younger, I would not do, I was afraid to do oysters and I was afraid to do muscles. It was a lot of time.

My mom loved fried clams. My dad loves fried oysters. He also loves all oysters. And I love my dad, happy 80th birthday, dad. But I will say this. I'll put you on last for this. HBD. When we go out for oysters, dad, please stop asking the waiter, which are your largest oysters? Because I'm about to throw up. Large oysters are not better than small oysters. Large oysters. Let me give this to all these cameras. Dad, dad, dad, dad, small oysters are better. Large oysters are disgusting. Sorry. And he will be, he will be watching just like your

cat. Yeah, he's watching with, he's cats sitting around. I mean, yeah. If the oyster is too big, I'm with you. I don't need a big chunky guy. I don't mind a chew. You know what I mean? I don't need to swallow it straight down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I don't mind it having a little meat on its non bones, right? Yeah. But like a big honking, once we get in New York or from Long Island, I don't want to say the name because I don't want to. Maybe people like that. Yeah, sure. That's what they like. That's a judge. I don't like rule.

Right. But I don't like it. And I don't like you. People who like this. fried clams when I was younger also I couldn't do those it was until a little bit later but uh the texture I think it was I mean all all three of those things that I just mentioned big time texture yeah issues muscles yeah oysters and and and clams fried clams weirdly my way into eating anything raw was sushi which I was like for whatever reason sushi I was like oh

that's like a different thing and then later I was like wait this is just raw fish I can have you know I can have a crudo I can have a savić air what have you know I can have oysters but yeah I I I I'll hit up the raw bar. I like it. I like sushi. I like oysters. I like it. Raw and wriggling. Hell yeah. To quote, Ghalm. Excuse me, Galcom.

When you say you hit up the raw bar, you mean like a physical bar that has nothing to do with seafood. All right, you're on tour right now. That's part of the reason you're in L.A. You're going around. You're going to Judge John Codman. By the time this comes out, the tour will be over. The tour will be over, but you're currently on tour. And so my my question for you is as a tour, because

this is a thing. I don't like traveling. As a tourist as it were. As a tourer. I don't like traveling. I certainly like I, you know, it's a whole thing for me. Traveling for work is this whole extra level of stress. What do you do like food-wise when you're going like, like I'm getting on planes, I'm getting on trains, I'm going to different cities? Food-wise, are you now talking about a food Lord of the Rings or something? Oh, I'm sorry.

Food-wise. Sorry. Food-wise hamgy. If you will. Food-wise. I like food-wise ham jam jamging. Frodo. Oh, shit.

It's right there in the name. Pride dough. Now we're getting into some mad magazine shit. Bring it back. Fried dough. Bring it back. Bring back mad. Bring back the mad.

What do I do on the road to eat? I'll just just real quick. They're trying to throw the one onion ring into Mount Doom. Okay, keep going. And Mount Doom is filled with marinara sauce. Yeah, yeah. For an onion ring? Would you dip an onion ring in marinerer?

Look. Have I done that in an appetizer sample of flour I have? Yes. Yeah. And you know what? It's not great. Like, it's not, it's not totally foreign from dripping a mozzarella stick into the same sort of texture usually. But yeah, it doesn't work as well as like.

What works? What would work? Since I'm doing the full tour, the full parental tour. Yeah. I won't name names, but there's a mother-in-law in my life. And I know you're watching, Gwen. Hello, hello. Hello.

And you'll remember this at the fishnet in Blue Hill. They have very, very good thin onion rings. Wow. And I watched as my mother-in-law put an onion ring, a single onion ring on a napkin, took a ketchup a ketchup, a packet, delicately squirted ketchup all the way around, then salted it all the way around, and then ate it with a knife and fork. That's adorable. Repeat, repeat.

I kind of love that. It was incredible. It was incredible. And I've had an onion ring. I was like, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Yeah. And it's like, and I was looking to my wife as a whole human being in her own right going like, are you even seeing this? She goes, I know.

She raised me. I know who she is. And yet I've had it since then. Yeah. And, um, and I like it. It's really good. Wow. A little ketchup, a little, a thin band of ketchup, extra salt, eat with a knife and fork.

Look. It's very sophisticated. It is. That's a gastroesophageal. Gastroosophageal level. Um, I, I don't know if I would. love that effort would drive me insane, but I will say this. Yeah. How about them

New England onion rings? I know that he's going to say that I'm territorial or whatever. It's funny, you know, I'm naturally inclined to decide with you. Yes. As we were both children of New England. Okay. What the fuck's going on right now? Okay. Now, I've never heard of a New England style. Right, Emma? Yeah. If you get a big thing of fish and chips and they give you this. That's in England, not New England.

Fish and chips is an English thing. I don't fucking deal with it. with those traitors. I don't like the, I don't like the Brits. We're the traitors. I mean, say what you want about the the death and destruction wage. I'm talking about me, the Irish.

The colonization of the English. I'm an Irish boy overall. I hate the Brits still. Okay, but they're not traders. They're monsters. I don't want to say monsters. Some of them are very nice. I'll still toss tea in the fucking harbor from time to time if I'm up for it. Yeah, yeah, you know, I understand.

what you're saying, but it's just, you know, canonically, in the narrative, the United States are the traitors. You're a traitor right now because you don't know what I'm talking about and it's getting me mad. About the New England style onion rings. If you get a fish and chips there,

they're just a lightly breaded onion rings that are thin. Yes. I think they're, I don't like to be everywhere. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I don't know if they're regionally specific. Do you mean like the shoestring ones where they're like super, super super thin? Well, there's also those too. Okay. Yes. Because like no one wants an onion ring with too much back.

That's just that, you know, like, I think what you're talking about is just like a well-made onion ring. Have you had onion rings in like a fish and chips like you'll get an onion rings? Have you had them like that out here? If you go to- No, you haven't. You haven't. Well, I don't know. I've not ordered onion rings in L.A., so I didn't know that there was a New England style. Should we go get some?

We have food flying in, right? Yeah, we don't need to go get onion rings. But I mean, you know, like in New York City, which, I mean, talk about traitors. I moved from Boston and New York City. I felt like such a traitor when I was. I finally moved there. Did you do comedy in Boston? No.

Oh. I have never done comedy to this day. Yeah. Arguably. But I certainly was never a stand-up or anything. Yeah. You're on the right podcast. Yeah.

Yeah. And I, you know, I went from Brookline, not even Boston, to college. Brookline to Brooklyn. Yeah. Exactly. I'm very narrow-minded. But when I moved to New York. What's next?

Brooklyn. What's that? Huh? Do you know? Brooklyn? Uh. going on. What did you say? No, no, you know, just wondering if there's a pattern

here. They'd go into Brooklein next. Brooklyn. Brookline to Brooklyn to Brooklyn to Brooklyn. But the, but the, but the, broke my head. The shit eating grin that you're giving right now. Brookline to Brooklyn to Brooklyn. Suggest that there's a level to your joke that is more than just wordplay. No.

I didn't. Brooklyn, Brooklyn. Is there a, is that a person? Is there, is there some cum related aspect? No, he just, he just, He's just noticing a pattern. He just noticed a pattern. He's noticing the, I'm sticking up for you for your, help me here. What is your favorite chicken preparation?

Emma, you know what town I live in in Maine? No, I don't. You have to bleep this out. Okay. Just put in the big game when I say it. Okay. The big game. Oh, I know that.

Wow. Our reactions aren't going to help. I think people will figure it out. I think people already know. Brooklyn, Maine. The big game. The big game, Maine. This is where I live.

That's my town. I spent New Year's up in Maine. Yeah, where'd you go? Thanks for calling. I was there. I'll look right now. Was this past year? This past New Year's?

This past New Year's, you were in Maine. New Year's 2024 into 2025. That's the year we're in. How about that? I was there. I was in Maine. What are you doing up there? Me?

I was, I was. Hanging with some friends? Turning his phone off, apparently. I guess it's a whole state. You weren't necessarily in the same part of the state. It's a very big state. I'm a baby scoop, Scoop's baby. Wonderful.

And yeah, it was a great. It was a great time. We all hung out and we had a... But where were you? I told you where I go. I'm trying to figure that out right now. You don't remember? I don't remember, which is bad.

Here's the thing about lobster, Emma. Yeah. It's easily overcooked and then it gets rubbery. Yeah. So I'm not saying your dad's doing it wrong, but he's probably not doing it right. Oh, no. He, people would come to get his lobster, like, from everywhere. Like, family members fly out just for it.

I just don't like... I've tried it every year. and every time someone orders lobster or gets lobster, I try a bite. Just maybe it's now. It's just not for me. Yeah, we've had a lot. We've been in context where there was a very good lobster available and Emma is not. Still not for me.

Oh, so in New York, the onion ring is very different from New England, I would say for sure. Because it's not thin. It's a thick cut thing. And one thing I don't like, and the batter separates from the onion ring. So you take a bite. That drives me nuts. And you just have like a shell of fry. Yeah, that's a nightmare.

Fucking molten hot piece of onion. dripping out of your mouth. Yeah, horrible. And you know what they do in a New York diner, if there even are any anymore, but they would put one of those onion rings on top of your burger when they served. See, I do think that's fun. Like I like it. A ring on a stray onion ring. Right.

Oh, you like a stray out. Yeah, or like, like, hey, it's on top of the burger or yeah, or yeah, I've got an order of fries and like, hey, there's an onion ring in there. And it's not necessarily to be eaten on the burger. No. It's just kind of there. It's like in a moose. Yeah, I like that. Or like burn the fuck out of your bush.

Yeah. Bouch is French for mouth. Oh, is that true? So you amuse your mouth? You amuse your mouth. This is a little mouth amuser for you. That's very fun. Sounds disgusting.

And often is. Sorry. Well, Axe is a mouth amuser in many ways, too. All right. We've got a... Bridgeton, Maine. Bridgeton, Maine. Bridgeton, Maine.

Bridgeton, Maine. You're up there in Bridgeton. Did you have a nice time? I had a blast. Good. I'm glad to hear. It was a great time. We're talking Chick-filet today.

Before we get into Chick-filet proper, I'm curious about your... general chicken preferences. Where do you stand on fried chicken? Where do you stand on a fried chicken sandwich? I'm very pro-fried chicken. I hope you don't stand on top of it. Am I right? Okay.

I'm very pro-fried chicken. Thanks to taking the heat off of me for that Brooklyn thing. I defended you on the Brooklyn thing. I know, I know. We're clean. Isn't it good that he doesn't stand on top of it? Yeah, I agree. And I am.

I am very into fried chicken on the bone. Yeah, me too. I don't love a tender. I'm okay with a tendee, but I prefer it on the bone. Yeah. He says tendy. I know that he says tendy. This whole podcast has taken over my whole life and career.

I don't know how I'm going to get rid of this curse. I know all the link. I spent, I spent, I think, frankly, days trying to explain to my family why I laughed so hard when you did your

Nosferatu impression and Amelia said, is that Jimmy Carter? Truly. And I think I emailed you after because I remember the email, yes.

I know that it was after Christmas because I had gotten headphones that you can use underwater. So I was swimming with my headphones and listening to the podcast. Very cool gadget.

That's cool. And but the danger is I almost died. Because if you laugh too hard underwater, you're going to aspirate a bunch of pool water or whatever. And I went through, I went to my wife. I went to our adult son. I went to our adult daughter. I'm like, okay, here's the thing. Amelia's a little younger.

So the joke is premised on this. I've never been more isolated from my family and my life. They don't talk to me anymore. You are now my family. So yes, I know he calls them tendies. Thank you. But sometimes the tentities. These aren't very tending.

It's true. Sometimes they're a little chewy. Yeah, they are. I'm worried about, you know, aquatic life now that our podcast can be played underwater. I'm just picturing a bunch of fish floating to the surface. Well, there are no fish in the pool at the YMCA. Okay, all right. That's fair.

But there are some elderly people who you can see are making a decision to go no further and just drift to the bottom. They're hearing it and they're like, yeah, I guess this is the world. This is the world now. I no longer have a place in it. I'm just going to... What do you think is worse for whales? The wind turbines or the Doe Boys podcast underwater? Good question.

And I love fried... So I love fried chicken. Yes. I love a fried chicken sandwich. Hell yeah. Even though that is bone less. What's your favorite fried chicken you ever... Sandwich you've ever had?

My favorite fried chicken sandwich I ever had. I don't know what my answer is. I don't know what my answer is. I don't even think on that. Well... It's a... hard it's like, look, Holland Rays is like a great fried chicken sandwich. But I'm like,

is that the best one I ever had ever? You know what I really liked? Remember plan check? I was going to say plan check, Mitch, R-I-P. That was a nice little small chain in L.A. And yeah,

it was a fun gastropub that had maybe still exist in some capacity. Is there like one plan check still kicking around? I think so. I think a lot of the locations closed. There's a new, relatively new chain in New York City called Sweet Chick. Sweet chick, Yes.

We did it. We did it. Yeah, we had sweet chick. Without Tammy, didn't we? Yeah, yeah. Our daughter introduced it to us. Oh, that one's still around. Okay.

And they do a Nashville hot chicken, fried chicken sandwich that I really enjoy a lot. Wow. Well, guess what? There's more chicken is here. Amelia just walked in. More chicken. I'm also a fan of more chicken. Yeah, I'm into more chicken in general.

I like to get, but I like the fried chicken at the shell station at the intersection of Route 1 and Route 15 in Orlando, Maine. What? Wait, really? That's a, the shell station has, because sometimes you'll run across a gas station that's sneaky, like, a very good food. Yeah. That's one. That is one. If you're on Route 1 and you're at the intersection of Route 1 and Route 15, the shell station, they have good fried chicken.

And they make it there. That's how KFC started. Was a gas station out. It used to be a Chester's chicken. Oh, okay. Which is sort of a brand. Yeah. But I noticed that it's not branded Chester's anymore, but they still make really good fried chicken.

And they have tenders and they have on the bone fried chicken. chicken and it's pretty pretty delightful. Yeah. Yeah. Does the shell station does it have pasta? Sorry, Mitch is just, it's just joking around. That's a great joke. I really am.

Mitch is, Mitch is messing around. I'm bathing in it. It's just a, I have a serious question, though. The shell station, does it serve turtle soup? So we just, I guess combined, we want to know, does the cell station have pasta or turtle soup? Does it have pasta or turtle soup?

Yeah. I mean, I feel like turtle. suit was probably rare to have it. No, but they sell, you can get hermit crabs there. All right. Okay. Wow.

And escargo. Ooh, that's a gas station, escargo. It's a gastroesophageal gas station. All right, this is well-timed. I'm waving her in as Amelia has just entered the picture. Don't tell her how I was. Emma opened the door. You had no power with your wave.

I know, but if people on the camera were seeing me wave, that was what I was referencing, Mitch. Emma opened the door for Amelia, who has brought us some additional Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A is what we were reviewing this week. Chick-fil-A was founded in 1946 in Hapeville, Georgia by S. Truet-Cat-C-Tathe. The business remains privately owned by the Kathy family. Did you say the name of the town was hateful? Hapeville.

Oh, Hapeville. Hapeville. Hateful Georgia. Sounds like it could exist. It would be fitting in the context of, well. Yes. This chick-fil-a, like Bud Light, that was mentioned previously, has been a political flashpoint. Chick-fil-A sauce was not invented in Delftled in 1983.

83, the famous Chick-fil-A sauce, was not invented until 1980. Until 40 years of its existence at a Virginia location, among American chain restaurants, it is third in sales with 21.6 billion. Wow. But only 19th in number of locations, so its per store average is insane. Very high. Ooh, the roof. Originally reviewed back in 2017 with our friend Noel Wells, Mitch, just outside of the Golden Plate Club.

That's the last time we reviewed it, huh? Yeah, and like last week's Chuck E. cheese with Griffin Newman. This is a major chain that we have not formally revisited in eight plus years. So the big development since last episode. Wow.

2017 was the first year I was ever on the doughboys. That's wild to think about. It was Arby's and that's when things really started to spiral down the drain. Down Mitch's shower drain for me. It's another reference. It's another reference to the show.

I can't get it out of my head. Thank you so much, Amelia. Amelia, why don't you come in here for a second? Did when Chick-fil-A did not include Wiger's fries, did it look like he was going to cry? I saw a tear run down his leg. Look, here's the thing. Do you say down his leg? Do you say down his leg? Yes.

Yes. I'm choking to death underwater again. This is Christ. Remind me not to listen to this one while I'm swimming in the pool. He did. Also, by the way, he did spill milkshake on his leg. I did spill like a whole bunch of milkshake on my thigh. The wiger tiger is crying, the thigh tiger. The thigh tiger. I said you've seen that before what happened.

It was a pretty good moment for me. But this was a pretty good moment for you. All right. Amelia. Thank you, Amelia. Amazing. We sent you over there because, but like, here's the issue. Chick-fil-A did not include our fries.

I've never had Chick-fil-A mess up in order before. They're usually very good about it, but this was one instance where they didn't get it. So we're like, the fries are a key part of the experience. Hodgeman, you'd never had chick-fil-A. So that's why we made this dish around. We got a few additional lines. They forgot a couple things. Thank you, Amelia. Didn't they forget your stuff too? Yeah, they forgot one packet of nuggets, which ended up being completely fine, but then they forgot all the fries, too.

Yeah. I feel like the fries are a crucial part of the Chick-fil-A experience. They really are. So if you've never had it before, you really got to get the fries. Although, I don't know if there's a true someone's had to me recently that they changed their fries in the recent past, so they're different. I don't know if that's Chick-fil-A or someone else, but you're all eating them. to that because you are the son of the south in the room. I did not grow up with Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A did not have...

Also, do you want that title? Son of the South? Oh, that's pretty... Sounds pretty cool. Coming to you live from hateful Georgia. The Sun of the South and South. I love the State of Georgia. The Lanesman.

Do you remember Chick-fil-A fries being different when we were younger in Florida? I mean, not so much. Like, I don't see... Here's a modern one to compare if you want. Now, these are... I don't really see a difference. For those not watching how they used to be on YouTube, first of all, thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'd rather you not ever see me. But also, these are a waffle fry. They're a waffle fry, yeah. Would you say this is a waffle fry? 100%. And is this traditional? This is the waffle approach to fry. Yeah, this is how they come.

They do have a thing on their menu that says that they recently changed their recipe slightly to accommodate more allergens. Interesting. For lack of allergens. It's not waffled. It's not fully waffled, but it's primarily using it as a sauce delivery. I actually did like these more than I remembered. They're pretty good. They're fine.

Could they use a little bit more seasoning? Sure. But I do think like your sauce in these bad boys. So I think it's okay. I really like the Christmas of them. I really like the waffle guy. I mean, the sauce really does taste like 1983. It does.

It's an incredible flavor like throwback. One hundred percent. And I'm trying to place what the flavors are in that sauce. I had the components of honey. It has honey on it. Yeah, it's kind of like a, you know, it's some sort of aoli. I'll get the exact components. This is bad news because this shake is fantastic.

Which one are you having? I just had a cookies and cream shake. Judge John Hodgman, please. Are we just sharing the straw? I'm fine with that. Me too. All right. Here we go.

To us. To us. I have norovirers. Nobody looks so great. That's a pretty good shake. I hate to say this on the podcast, but it's very creamy. Interesting to say. It is extremely creamy.

Like, it's not just vanilla notes, which is a flavor that I love. But it's got, I mean, I feel like you can taste, like cookies and cream, they don't say it, but it's supposed to be Oreos crunched up in there, right? Right. And I feel like I'm getting the Oreo stuff flavor coming through. Pest us over? Yeah. We're all going to go down together, I guess. Chick-fil-A sauce, this is from Chick-fil-A ink. This is from their official Twitter. Chick-fil-A is a magical blend of honey mustard, barbecue, and ranch sauces.

It's kind of like all-dressed as a sauce. Yeah. I got paper from the straw. Yeah, I found a dupe recipe that's mayo, mustard, lemon juice, barbecue sauce. That's an excellent shake. It's really good. It's good. You want to? I think we're... I'm gonna do one less. So as the sauce is being circulated.

This is what? Here, I'm gonna... Do you give me a napkin wise? Yeah. So as the sauce is being circulated, just to add a little bit more context to the Kathy family. So the Cathies are devout Southern Baptists. And this is where the controversy came from because, you know,

they had made some large donations to organizations that opposed same-sex marriage. Right. This became a big thing. I'd forgotten this whole, the whole like Mike Huckabee side of it, where there was like, there was like, you know, Mike Huckabee declaring national. That fucker weighed in to get some attention for himself. Yeah, and it's just like, it's one of those things like, oh yeah, this was just the 10 years ago

dumber version, or I guess less dumb version of what our politics is now. Where like whatever, whatever, you know. Compared to what it is now, that was practically gastroesophageal. It was kind of quaint almost. Intellectually. But it was sort of the setting the thing of like, you're signaling, you know, your politics by your purchases, you know. And so like, like, by.

having corporate allegiance to Chick-fil-A or by saying, I will never eat Chick-fil-A, you're making some sort of political statement. That's just, that's basically what everything is. Well, I have never eaten Chick-fil-A. That's true. For that reason. Is that really true? Yes.

Wow. I never set foot in one. I would travel. Ten years ago, I was touring more. Yeah. And many a person would say, let's, I would be traveling with or whatever, would say, let's go to Chick-fil-A, whether you want in the airport, let's stop there, because it's supposed to be the most delicious chicken sandwich of all time.

And I was like, I just can't go there because of their stance on same-sex marriage. Right. And it was, and also like, I don't need to eat that food. You know, it was just maybe it was maybe a little bit of virtue signaling of convenience. Sure. I just don't want to go in there. And I never have. And I've never ordered from there.

And so this is a very transgressive day for me today. So here's a question, because we threw a few options at you. So we cover this, this, this or this. And you, you chose Chick-fil-A. Right. Like what, why, did you choose it partly because of the novelty, partly because you never had it? Yeah, because everyone has told me it's the greatest chicken sandwich of all time. Wow.

And I've always been very Chick-fil-A curious. And yet I had always held this line. And I'm breaking, I'm crossing the line for you and with you today. I love this. Because I wanted to see what it was all about. And obviously the doughboys has eroded my standards in so many ways. And how I think and act and look. I figured why not.

And I still have not set foot in one. You had it delivered here. There was the option to go to one. I'm happier to just hang out with you here. And yes, I tasted it for the very first time. I'm going to have a simple as chocolate chick. But the big development since the last time. I have no longer a Chick-fil-A heterosexual virgin.

Wow. The last time we had. Strictly heterosexual virgin. Since the last time we had, we reviewed Chick-fil-A. The big development is the emergence of the Popeye's chicken sandwich, which I think is fantastic. We had the Popeye's chicken sandwich. I have had the Popeye's chicken sandwich. And in fact, for a Judge John Hodgman online thing, we did a blindfold taste test of a bunch of similar foods.

Yes. Battle of the Brands. And it was basically a doughboys rip-off. Sure. I'll say it right now. It was pretty obvious. We're not doing anything original. Well, anyway, it's the most successful thing we've ever done on Judge John Hodgman.

People just, it's all about the food. People just like seeing people eat food. In any case, yes. blindfolded shows the Popeyes over the KFC quickly. Yeah. And then I devoured that whole sandwich without ever looking at it. It's really really, really good. It's really, really, really yummy. And I

do think, I know Casey son of the south of the lanesmen will definitely disagree here, but I do think the Popeye's chicken sandwich is superior to the Chick-fil-A sandwich. I agree. But I like the Chick-fil-A sandwich. That is not a criticism of the Chick-fil-A sandwich. That is praise of the execution

of Popeye's version. I liked my chick-fil-a sandwich today, which was a brand news sandwich. Yes. But I also say, I think on the show, we said that we, Chick-Fleigh is banned. We've done this like multiple. Did we really? I hate Chick-fil-A, too, for this stance on gay marriage.

I think that they're a shitty corporation. We talked about. I don't know. I mean, yeah. It's one of those things where I think the people who own it are, have shitty politics. Goals, you could say. Yeah, that, yeah, they're boglins, if you will. Yeah. That's an insult to bogglins.

But I also think there's an element of, if you, you work for the company. My understanding is like, you know, the pay is pretty good relative to other jobs in the fast food sector. And I do feel like service is very good when you go to these restaurants. And I do think, you know, so it's like, I don't know. I mean, all these companies are run by like monsters. It's hard.

Like like. Yeah, sure. And Eddie Puzzder, who was a complete piece of shit, who was the CEO of Carl, of C.K. Carl's Jr. Hardys is now the ambassador to the EU. He was a guy who was such a piece of shit that he couldn't get confirmed as the secretary of Labor Under comes first. Yeah, that's the Carl Carcher Enterprises.

That's the name of the parent corporation of Carl's Jr. Harkins. Cum Kings Extraordinary. Yeah, sorry, I had it wrong. Oh, man, I would love to be a cum king extraordinary. I don't think I can make it to that level, but speaking up,

I just want to apologize again to my cat and my dad for watching the earlier. I was not not eating Carl's Jr. for the years where he was in charge of this company, this guy who has all sorts of horrible allegations against him and who treated his employees like shit. It's just like it's just

it's the cliche and I hate to repeat it because it's so unoriginal. There's no ethical consumption under capitalism and that's just where you find ourselves. So it's wherever you're going to draw your own lines. I always text why and I say

what's your capitalism line again? Because I forget it and I try to tell people. There's no ethical consumption under capitalism. Who am I telling the masseuse? You're Robert Crafts massage parlor? No ethical consumption or capitalism.

The lady's like, yeah, I know, thanks. I, uh, look, we've said that we weren't going to go to Wendy's again because of the tomato thing. We're just wrong. What was the tomato thing? I don't remember. They were using, like, they like, use, like, they, like, try to get cheaper tomatoes or something. There was, like, some bullshit that they did. I don't remember us banning ourselves from Wendy's, but I know that that's, like, tomatoes have been a whole thing.

I remember when I was in college, Taco Ball, a whole thing with their tomatoes. sourcing and they were sourcing it from a much of unethical sourcing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that we said that we were done with Chick-fil-A, but also, you know what, whatever. This is, it is, it's... We're just, everyone's tired. We're all just tired. Look, as a society, we're tired. What the fuck are we supposed to do? Yeah, look,

we lost. We lost big time. We lost. Took a big L here. Obviously. We're back at Chick-fil-A. What do you want? Obviously, our incredible principled stand to not go to the Chick-filet in the airport did not halt the creeping theocracy of evangelism in this country. Didn't work.

Turns out our invisible little imaginary lines in the sand don't bother anyone. Yes. Yes. And so anyway. Time to regroup, re-figure things out again. But I'll give this to puster. The boobs and butts are back at Carl's Jr. I don't know if you knew this.

They had brought him back. They brought back the T&A campaign. No, hey. In Trump's America. America made great again. We did it. So I'll talk on this real quick. I did a side quest earlier this week and went on my own to Chick-fil-A because I was like, I haven't had it in a while.

We haven't reviewed on the podcast for a while. I want to make sure, because I want to try the seasonal item, which we'll talk about today, but I wanted to get another one where I was getting more of their classic execution. I did go with a spicy chicken sandwich because I'm a bit of a heat secret. Casey, I believe that's what you got today, correct? Yeah. Is that your normal order? Yeah, spicy chicken. Yeah.

And here's one thing. Just the regular spicy chicken. So just the chicken sauce and pickles. Yes. And it's the breaded patty as opposed to it, the breaded breast as opposed to the, the, the, the grilled one, which we had with today's sandwich. Right. I choose the Chick-fil-A sauce as my sauce for that. I like the Chick-Villay sauce.

I got Chick-fil-A sauce, and I also got ranch, along with my waffle potato fries, an unsweetened iced tea. Good ice. You got to shout out the ice there. They have excellent ice at Chick-fil-A. And then a middle milkshake, which is like a completely on-point, fast-food milkshake. But I thought the chicken sandwich was absolutely hidden. The fries are, you know, up to you in terms of how you like their version of it. But I think it's a well-executed waffle fry.

I think the number of sauces makes up for the posity of seasoning. But I just think that spicy chicken sandwich is just a home run. It's just absolutely delightful. One thing I should add, because, and Mitch, you know about this because we've talked about this. And I guess you've absorbed this as well because I've talked about it at length in the podcast. I've developed this midlife peanut intolerance. Chick-fil-A is fried in peanut oil, which I was a little concerned about. But I was like, let me just see how my body processes it.

I don't seem to have any adverse reactions from it. Yeah, but I should, maybe you miss this, but you still have the epipen hanging out of the back of your neck. Got it. Yeah. Okay. That's still noticeable. No, I like, I, so I just don't, I don't fucking know. It's like one of those things you get older and you go to doctors and they're like, yeah, we don't know.

Like, sorry, you're on your own, you know. Well, that's what we were talking about those fucking doctors, right? The fucking doctors, but also. Oh, my God. Let me just say. And looking down on me. Let me just say that Patreon key is nearly mine. Keep eating lives.

We really should do a ton teen Patreon episode. Let's figure that out. Let's bring Susser in here. Oh, man. Is he getting a... He's going to get the fortune. You know that's what's going to have. He'll fucking kill. He'll straightless in the room. So you're not feeling any peanut related distress in the moment? No, I have not had any reactions like I've had the kind of more, as you know, anaphylactic reactions from some other nuts.

So you'd be willing to say Chick-fil-A, it didn't make me life-threateningly sick. I'd go that for at this point. Hold on a second. We put this order on our... doughboy sex chain which which susser is on and he didn't reply which makes me feel like

we should do like a wellness check a wellness check on I think we should I'll text him now is he alive? How did he not take advantage of this? Yeah actually let me reply to him right now

say why did you not order Chick-fil-A today what's going on why did you not order Chick-fil-A today? Maybe he's against their political stances too I don't think that would stop him Are you okay, buddy? Okay, we'll see if we get, if you replies.

I hope Susser. I hope you're okay, Suss. Hope you're okay, Suss. This is the most nervous I've been about Suss for my entire life. I've got to stop eating these. Do you guys want some fries and a shake? More shake? I got a shake. I'm good.

Take some fries. Wait, which shake did you get, Emma? I got a chocolate shake, and it's hitting hard right now. Yeah. The chocolate shake was good. I really liked that cookies and cream shake. It is very, like, classic, creamy. fast food milkshake, but it doesn't

taste like sometimes a McDonald's milkshake tastes not like real ice cream, this tastes like real ice cream. It's very creamy. Yeah. Are you a fry shake dipper? Is that something? Yeah. I'll do that big time, but I'll usually do that with a vanilla shake. Right. I've been known to do with a chocolate shake. I don't, I don't, I don't dip the

savories and the sweets. I don't, I don't. You don't like the mix of salty and sweet? I mean, I do like that when it's is like very much the point of the thing, but like I'm not putting candy in my popcorn. I'm not like I'm not dipping fries in the frosty. I don't do that.

You know where I got that? I think it's the hotness of it. You know what I mean? Oh, you don't like the hot and the cold together. Yeah, I mean, that's a part of it, but not with the popcorn on the cany. I don't know. Pumporn's hot, I guess.

It was in an out burger that conditioned me to do that. That's where I first started going to cover up the taste of those fries. All right. You're going to try the naked nugs. What's that? You're going to try the naked nugs. Oh, I ordered those, right? Yeah, we got some grilled nuggets.

I don't want them. No, I got those for one reason. Or you to try that one. But I got them to give to Jemmy. They're for Jemmy. Because I'm only going to see you once a year, and I want you to remember Uncle John. Here, put this on your pants to the Jemmy can make them. I don't want to get...

You're going to get credit for it. I was going to say, I'm going to get the food dirty by putting it on my pants. You're going to get the food dirty, not your pants dirty. To be fair, Jemmy licks the carpet. I'm going to hover my hands. over your thigh. Do I have your consent for that? You have my consent to put it on my thigh. Wow. I don't want your thigh getting credit for the treat that I'm giving

Jenny. Yeah. See? She's loving it. She's living her best life today. That's a big piece. We're going to make this a little smaller Jimmy. Wow. Oh, man. She is feasting. She's like not even doing it. She's just like swallowing a hole. I just love the fact that Mitch isn't even letting me have this moment. Every time I feed Jimmy, I'm just like, now I've got to do it. Hey, I know. She's licking his pants right now. Don't going to wash the jeans for another week. Here we go.

No, no, no. It's my turn. It's my turn to Woo Jemmy. It's me now, John Hodgman, your friend. This chicken is from John Hodgman. Yes. Good girl. Wow. She knows it. You get to sit next to Jemmy all the time. Jemmy also loves Maine.

I know you are. I respect it. I'm just saying. I mean. She loves Maine. Yeah, she loves it in Maine. Just like one of her favorite places. She gets so excited. and we get there. There's a beach there. The beaches in Canabunk, there's a couple of dog-friendly beaches that she just loves. Wow. There'll be tons of dogs out there running around. It's her favorite

place. Wow. You know what they have in Kennebunk? A Burger King. They do you have a at the Service Plaza. Do they really? They actually also have a, at the Catamong Service Plaza off of 95. They have a Popeyes and it's like the only Popeye in New England, I think. It was for a long time. So it was super popular

place. That's how I knew it. That was the Service Plaza Emma, is it a nude dog beach that you take her to or is it a or do they have to wear bathing suits? It's a nude dog beach, yeah. It's a little risque. It was at the service plaza, the northbound service plaza at Kennabunk on I-95 has Popeyes. The southbound does not. No. The southbound has Sparrow instead, which is a real bummer.

Not as exciting. But if you stop at the Gardner Service Plaza, they have a Popeyes. This is, this was my, this was my, she's still looking these jeans. Yeah, that's right. She might get a couple other flavors if you catch my dress. Hi, Jimmy. I'm the reason those jeans taste good. Jimmy, our relationship just went up a notch, babe.

It's going to be funny, like 30 minutes when she farts. Yeah, that's all right. They'll blame it on me. My experience with Popeyes for a long time was that on the highway there, that one rest stop. And that's, I was having red beans and rice. Oh, 11 years ago. Great side.

When I received a phone call from an unknown number and discovered that my identity had been stolen. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. Someone called and said, is this John Hodgman? And I'm like, yes. And they said, is this your address? And I said, yes. And they're like, is this your social security number?

And it was. And I'm like, who is this? And they're like, yeah, I have all of your information. Wow. So it was the person who had stolen your identity? Well, I shouldn't say that it was, like, it's not like someone was pretending to be me. Okay. But all of my private information had been breached somehow.

But they decided to call you to confirm. Yeah, they weren't very intelligent. Yeah. I'm like, okay. What, why are you calling me? Yeah, to what end are you contacting? And the guy was like, well, just how much money will you give me? I'm like, zero dollars.

I mean, you have, I mean, I'm just going to call and cancel these credit cards. Yeah. Change stuff. Like, even if I, even if I, even if I, even if I, were dumb and I gave you $10,000 or whatever, what are you going to do? Tear up my, the piece of paper that you wrote my Social Security number. Yeah, exactly, right. You would still have it.

So I think this conversation is over and he's like, all right. But I was eating Popeye's, red beans, and rice. Wow. And then it was later that same summer. I had to go to an airport and there was a Popeye's there. I was eating red beans and rice, Popeye's red beans and rice when I got the word that my cat, not the one who's watching now, but the deer departed, Pedy the cat, was on his last lakes and I had to go home. Oh, no.

So I can't eat Popeye's red beans and rice anymore because it's identified with sad and scary things. Yes. And I won't, I'm not a, I'm not a superstitious person. Yeah. But I won't toast, I won't toast with water. That's a bad luck thing. Sure. And I won't eat Popeye's red beans and rice.

Sorry, Popeyes. That's why you're not selling as much. I think it's good too. It's a great side. It's my favorite fast food size. It's terrific, yeah. Sorry, you were saying. That's, yeah, that's, I get it.

It's a wild association to have. Yeah. I don't know if I, do you have any food associations like that beyond food? Like, because any, any association I have with that is like, well, I got food poisoning from blank. You know what I mean? And it's not like I have like, oh, I have this strong negative memory that's not related to me getting sick from the food attached to this particular food stuff. I can't think of one.

I got like some associations. Last night, I saw a presence last last. night. Yeah. That's a movie. A movie. I like, I know, this is different. But a guy came in with a backpack,

kind of a weird guy came in with a backpack. And the movie was so much more scary because I was afraid that he was going to kill us. Oh. So do you think it was Santa? I thought it was a different sort of presents. A movie about my line of work. Oh, wait a minute.

So Santa saw presents and he was like, I should bring, I know Christmas is over. I should bring my sack. Maybe it was Santa. Could have been. But I was scared the entire The entire screening. Yeah, that is, that's a,

it's fucking, it's bad. It's bad. Yeah, you go to a movie. You should have a backpacks in a movie, should you, occurring?

Should backpacks be allowed in the movie? I don't know, because there's also so much security theater at so many places where it's just like, I don't know, I'm gonna go to a basketball game tonight with my brother Nate, my alpha brother Nate.

And I'm like, as like, they're like, you have to have a certain size bag you can bring into that. And they're inspecting it anyway. And that's just like, you're not actually preventing anything by this.

This is just like an economic thing where you're trying to prevent people from smuggling in food or whatever. The Wiger Brothers are going to the game tonight. You know they're going to pull a trap. They confiscated my wife's knitting needles at Red Bull Arena in New Jersey when we went to see women's soccer. Were there no flutoggs? What's that? Did you get to see a flutog or no? Is that a boggling?

I don't, what am I missing? This is a Red Bull event where they like. Oh, yeah, yeah, right, right. No, no. Something goes down a ramp into the water. No, they bought the Red Bull bought the stadium and the team, the major league soccer team in New York. And they're now the, they're now the Red Bulls, I think. Wow, the Red Bulls, they're, wow.

Yeah, and then the, gosh, the women's team. It's my daughter's favorite sport. I should remember the name of the women's team. Let me look it up. You talk. Mitch, you talk, because then we'll have an edit we can cover. Oh, shit. Well, okay.

Hey, what's up, everybody? Gotham Seemless. Gotham FC. New York, New Jersey, Gotham FC. Faving them is impossible about it. That's not what I was going to, I was going to, I had it. That's not when I was trying to host the show without you that one time. You did great.

I was going to say, I had the spicy chicken, the grilled spicy chicken to loss. Yeah, we should talk about today. is today's meal. So the grilled spicy spicy deluxe is the... Okay, okay, okay. Well, no, we... Yeah, okay, okay, okay. Let's do what he wants. Yeah, okay, let's do what he wants. Not to be a killjoy, but we should get to brass

tax here. We get the grilled spicy deluxe. Mitch, you and I each got this. This is a seasonal item they have right now. It's a boneless breast of chick marinated with a blend of peppers and grilled for a tender and spicy taste. It's on a multi-grained brioche bun with Colby Jack cheese. I got pepperjack cheese. Oh, you switched yours? Yeah, I swapped out

out my cheese, and I wonder if that's why they swapped out my bun because I did not get the multi-grained bun. I got the conventioning bun. Why did you switch out your cheese? They had the option to do it. Oh. Why I was switching your cheese change your bun? I don't know. This chick filet. Kind of a wacky chick filet.

Kind of wacky chick filet. I still really like this sandwich. I thought it was great. Oh, you got spicy jack? I got spicy. Yeah, I got spicy. Well, because like I was looking at the app and you could choose your cheese. I was like, all right, I'll choose pepper jack. Because it's already spicy and I'm something of a heat seeker. And but I was like, and it has a cilantro,

lime sauce that you can use. for Dippin if you like. But it is basically their deluxe spicy sandwich but just with a grilled patty instead or grilled breast instead of a fried breast, which is an existing menu item. And I liked it quite a bit. I thought it was great.

Choose your cheese. Choose your cheese. You could on the app. What were the other options? It was Colby Jack, pepperjack, and maybe cheddar or American. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Is it just on the app that you can choose your cheese? That's where I saw it. Oh. Choose your cheese. Yeah. I, uh, I

I really liked that sandwich. I thought it was great. I was surprised. I was surprised. I wish I had had a bite of this incredible sandwich that you had. We didn't give it. The grilled spicy, right? The grilled spicy.

That's okay. It had a nice kick to it. That's what I was surprised by. Yeah, let it burn. So when you're doing, so I had a spicy, I tried two sandwiches. That's right. The original original, just straight up chicken and pickles. Classic.

And sauce, I guess. The sandwich that built an empire. I'm not sure that it had the sauce on it. It doesn't know. It's like a little bit of butter. It's not like the, it's not pre-sauced. And then I had the spicy chicken sandwich deluxe, which was fried breadless. Yes. And that one has the lettuce and tomato on it as well.

Yes, that's right. But I did not have the grilled. Now, when you have a fried spicy chicken sandwich, usually the spices in the breading, right? So I wonder how they made it spicy. They marinate it. So that's where it comes from, yeah. Should have seen that coming. Sorry, cat and dad. I know you're very embarrassed for me. I thought that sandwich was really yummy.

What did you think of your sandwiches? Well, as I mentioned, I had never had chick-fil-a ever. People in my life were saying this is the best chicken sandwich for a decade. It took a while for Chick-fil-A to get to the Northeast. Took a while for it to get in California. Yeah. Still feels relatively new, although it's always been around for a decade or more. So much hype.

And let me say this. In terms of the original chicken sandwich, I can confidently say I was not, not disappointed. I was disappointed. It was B minus. B minus. Yeah, I would say. That particular one. Now, why?

Look, this is a wacky chick filet. This is known. Yeah. They got wacky with mine. Right. They put a pickle on. And I think pickle really is part of that sandwich. You only got one pickle.

Yeah, I only got one pickle. One pickle. Well, there may have been two because I cut it in half and gave one half to Emma. Okay. Because I, there was a pickle. Okay. So I had one pickle on one half, but still that's not enough pickle.

Yeah. And notice how I shared my sandwich with someone else? Emma, how was your half? It was delicious. Did you like it? Yeah, I had a, it's, I think I liked their sandwich because it's like, the chicken's good, and then everything else is so simple. It's just like, bun, pickle sandwich.

I could see. I put some chick-filet sauce on it because you need a little bit of sauce. Yeah, I did not sauce spine, and I could see that this was not necessarily representative of every one of the, like, there's a wacky chick filet, and I, like, it needed some sauce, it needed some pickle. Or some cheese. I like cheese on it sometimes. Yeah, there was no cheese on it. You have to ask for that. You have to ask for that. Yeah, I could have

chosen my own cheese, but I chose, I, you know, I didn't choose any cheese. I think it's good when you're trying a place for the first time to get the default as a baseline. Yes. Yes. And I, found it to be a little dry, a little boring. I didn't love the chicken patty, or, you know, the breaded, I didn't feel juicy or whatever. or taste, I just didn't love it. But the spicy chicken deluxe, I enjoyed that quite a bit. And that had some cheese on it.

I didn't choose my own cheese. I don't know what cheese it was. Without any sauce, I thought it was pleasantly spicy. I thought it was good. Yeah. We also got some nuggets and some tendies. I like the nuggets. I will say that I feel like the...

They're little. Yeah, they're dainty little guys. They're like little pencil erasers. They really are. They're a much smaller form factor than you. you would expect for a nug. Yeah, it's interesting. More like a popcorn chicken even.

They are akin to a popcorn chicken. Yeah, very much like popcorn chicken. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they offer chicken strips, which is not a full tendi, right? Right. But it's sort of like in between a chicken nugget and a, it's just a different. That's what you ordered, Mitch. I actually didn't have one of those.

The chicken tenders? Oh, you didn't have one? No, I like the nuggets, though. They're just got small. I had two of them. It's all right. I didn't have a chicken strip, but I had a chicken nugget. They're good.

I like that they're just like, it's like real chicken. you pull it apart and it's not like reprocessed. Like it feels like a real piece of chicken, which I appreciate it. Do you prefer the strips to the nuggets? I do. I think so. I think because it's more chicken and less breading. I think the nuggets end up being a lot.

Like there are some pieces in the nugget box that were just breading. Right. They had like snapped off. That's like eating an onion ring where the onion comes out and it's just fry. Just a circular tube of fry. I, I, the chicken tender is probably may, actually maybe weirdly the, the spicy chicken Deluxe sandwich, grilled spicy chicken deluxe sandwich was probably my bite of the night.

But the chicken tenders I liked, they were good. The salad was good. The salad was good. That was pretty good. It was a distant salad. A lot of cheese. It's mesclin greens out of a bag with some cheese tossed on top of that, right? And a few tomatoes. And then you have their Erbie Ranch dressing, which is, I think, the same as the little tubs of Irby Ranch dip, right?

It's just like, you're just squeezing dip onto your salad. It's whether you want to do it. where you want a Peter North it. It's like, it's like you have both options. And I think the dressing is fine, but it's very caloric. And they don't have, it would be nice if they had a lighter option for the dressing if you want that to be your healthy option. But there really isn't it. There isn't like a balsamic or anything. Every single thing is like honey mustard. You can't choose your cheese on this guy and they, but they, you can get it off. You can have no cheese, but they do load it with cheese. That was good. The Mac, speaking of cheese,

the mac and cheese is very good. Mac and cheese is great. It's way better than KFCs. Highly amulsified. Yeah. Like, very melty and very tasty. I got some crunchies on the side, too. Did you really? I did, yeah. Look at you.

They forgot our crunchies for the salad, so it's funny. You got crunchies in the mac and cheese. I, look, the ingredients here are good. It's a quality. Yeah. The food is quality. But it doesn't really get me going, you know what I'm saying? Oh, boy.

Doesn't get my ballrogs excited. Can we talk about the sweet treats a little bit? because we had the couple of shakes here. I had a vanilla shake when I went on my own. I'm a big vanilla advocate. Vanilla's a flavor. I thought it was a great vanilla shake, as I mentioned earlier. They have a couple of seasonal varieties,

which was the key lime lemonade and the key lime frosted lemonade. Now, I don't know why they say key lime lemonade instead key lime aid. That feels like a pretty simple thing, but I guess it probably is lemonade with lime flavoring. Their lemonade is good in general. I thought the key lime, frosted lemonade was surprised by how much of a shake it was. I thought it was going to get more of an icy. But it's just a straight up shake.

It's a shake, basically. Also, it is, it's so confusing because it's like key lime lemonade. And then it's like, what's the other one called? Keelime frosted lemonade. Keli frosted lemonade. And so in your mind, you're like, oh, this is like a frozen version of the other one. That's right. That was a frozen lemonade.

It's not. No, it at all. And it's also the flavors are so different. Yeah. I like the frozen, the frozen lemonade. I thought it was yummy. It was pretty good. It was surprisingly tart.

Yeah. It reminded me of lemon Italian ice, which we used to get in the Boston area. It was so much like a. key lime pie. It was like a key lime. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And the frozen, the, it didn't have as much of a key lime pie flavor, the, the, the, the, the lemonade.

It could have been a little more tart. Yeah. It was just, it was kind of like a lime made. It tastes like a lime made from Sonic. Yeah. I'm not a dessert guy. You know, I've said it before, I don't have a sweet tooth. I have an alcohol molar.

That's where I, that's where I, uh, I have my strange attraction. But, um, but, um, but I thought that, that lemon, the frozen lemonade was pretty good. Yeah. I liked it. The limeade is, I don't think is a, I don't think is a, as good as Sonics, but it was, it was okay. Yeah. Now, I didn't just get the grilled

chicken nuggets to feed to Jimmy. I did want to try them because you asked, like, what do you do on the road when you're touring and what do you eat? So I, you know, I, I don't move as fast as I used to. I don't recover. I'm exhausted all the time. Sure.

A mold because these fucking doctors are, you know. Fix that. Not fixing anything. They're just saying that's just, you just now, you know. So I like to go for like more protein. Sure. Then carbs. And, you know, like if I were, if I didn't have this political stance, which obviously fixed everything because I stayed away from Chick-fil-A. I mean, I made that sacrifice for the greater good and it obviously paid off. Yeah. But if I didn't have this political stance, like, I would go for a grilled chicken nugget. Like, that's a pretty

healthy thing to have if you're on the move. And Wags is a pro teen guy. All right. I thought you were more of a Brooklyn guy. And I will say that unlike my chicken sandwich, these chicken nuggets were pretty juicy. In fact, in the dining room before, and I was pulling one apart to feed to Jemmy, to bribe her into liking me, it actually squirted at me. It was like, I know. I know.

It was quite juicy. I got I got cummed on by the chicken. Wow. It's revolting. I know. I don't like that I had to say it. Yeah. Yeah.

You ate one of the grilled ones? Yeah, I've had, yeah. I thought it was pretty good. Now, I will say this. Also, at the Popeye's on I-95 and elsewhere, they'll do a blackened chicken tender, which is not breaded and fried. But in fact, it's very, very spicy blackened seasoning on a grilled or griddled chicken Tinder, I don't know. And when I I don't always see it on the menu,

but when I ordered it at the Popeyes on 985 and Kennebunk, the person was so excited. It's like, I never get to make these. Oh, wow. Wow. And they were delicious. Yeah, I have to say. That's, I mean, like, look, it's room temp at this point, but you could do worse. Yeah, not bad. Yeah, you could do worse.

Especially reading, trying to eat healthy, I guess. Yeah. No, I mean, I think that's a healthy choice, as it were. I don't think I've ever seen grilled nuggets anyway. No, I mean, I think, I was surprised when I saw it, so wanted to try it, and I'm glad I did. Should we get to our final thoughts here? Do we miss anything?

I think we've surveyed everything, right? Yeah, this is it. So, Hodgman, you're a veteran of the podcast. You know how this works. We'll each go around, and we will give our final thoughts on this chain and end by a score, by giving it a score of zero to five forks. I'm going to go first here. Okay.

Because I'm going to set a baseline. Last time on the podcast, it did not make the Golden Plate Club. However, I was not the culprit. I gave Chick-fil-A four forks. So the question is, has my opinion changed in the intervening years? This was not the only time I had Chick-Fillet. It's not even the only time we've ever talked about on the podcast. We've gotten some items from it.

We had it in our chicken tournament, of course. We revisited Chick-fil-A in different contexts a few different times, and I've certainly gone on my own. This visit, in particular, my first visit was really satisfying and was better than I remembered. And I will say what I had today, in particular the grilled spicy deluxe sale. sandwich. These items were hitting as well. Shakes are great. Fries, I'm a big fan of. Love all their sauces. Love their signature chick-fil-a sauce. I'm reminded of a chain, not just because it has a regional affiliation, not just because it has a fandom, you know, that grew up eating it, but also because of it's a privately owned company that stayed in the family since its inception.

and that family is very religious and wears its politics on its sleeve. I'm, of course, talking about Southern California's own in and out. Sure. Run by the Snyder family, I think three or four generations later, the current CEO is still a Snyder. And that place is not hiding, you know, their religiosity. Right. They have Bible verses on the underside of their cups and fry containers. They, like, it's just like, it's a place that is just basically like, look, this is our values.

This is what we stand for. Sure. I'm sure we did not vote the same way. I'm sure the, the multimillionaires, the billionaires who owned in and out burger and, you know, are deeply religious, do not have the same politics as me, a leftist podcaster. But they make good burgers. And from what I've read, they seem to treat their employees pretty well. Sure. So I don't really feel.

conflicted patronizing it. I understand people having that conflict in terms of Chick-fil-A because of how it's, you know, treated queer people. And I know that it fucking, the again, shitty politics from the people who own it. But I think their product is pretty good. And we're also

powerless that we feel like the only thing we can do is act as consumers to like boycott something or choose to take our business to someplace that aligns with us or boycott a place that we feel like opposes us. But like, What are you supposed to fucking do?

Like at the end of the day, if you want something and it makes you happy for that moment, I say like whatever, make your own judgment, but I certainly don't think that anyone should be held in any sort of higher regard or lesser regard for what business is they choose to patronize. So for that standpoint, that monologue out of the way, I stand by my verdict. I believe Chick-fil-A belongs to the Golden Play Club. I think it's a four-fork chain. I think it's a good chain. And I really, really like what they do. And the thesis of the podcast, Mitch is, how well are they achieving?

What they're going for. This is a simple place with a streamlined menu, chicken sandwiches, fries, lemonade, and shakes. Like, that's the focus. Their chicken sandwiches are great. Their fries are very good. Their sauces are excellent. And I think all their sweet treats are hidden. I believe this is a four-fork chain.

I believe it belongs to the Golden Plate Club. Hodgman, let's go to you. Wow. Wow. I had said, well, you know what? Yeah. Well said. Well put. Thank you. I think a lot of... Did you change your voting registration to a Republican yet?

Yeah, right. Yeah, I know. That's a while ago. 2016. Come on. I mean, at this point, we got it. Sorry. We're stopping all fact checking on the podcast. I here's here's here's I mean I I that was an impassioned speech it made sense the subtext of which felt a little bit like to me the subtext of it was Hodgman you're a fucking hypocrite oh no no no no I don't I mean look I love in and out I'd never thought to not go to in and out because of their open professions of faith and I suspect you're right like they probably do vote differently than me. But I am not against someone voting their own weird conscience. Sure. I'm certainly not against people having whatever faith they have. I think when a company like Chick-fil-A

10 years ago put the full force of its corporation behind specifically, we must, it's not Adam and Eve, and it's not Adam and Steve, it's Adam and Eve. Right. Anti-gay marriage legislation and all that sort of thing. then, you know, they're taking a public position that I think is a little bit different than in and out sort of just writing Bible verses on the bottom of the napkins or whatever we find it. It's certainly more overt. Yeah. And it's a direct connection to the politics. It's also tied to a very specific. Right.

Theocratical debate or, you know, not even, it's not even a debate. It's like gay people aren't full humans. So therefore, you know, you can't. Whatever. And I think that now more than ever, it's good to. acknowledge that there are really vulnerable people and communities in our, what remains of our civilization who are feeling really, really terrified. Yeah.

And that said, you're right. There's no ethical, I say, cum-sumption under compilism because I'm here on the, but, and, and, you know, it was not a huge, like, it was not a huge deep breath moment for me to come in and feel like a asshole and a hypocrite to eat chick-fil-a with my friends. and certainly to feed chicklele to a lovely dog. I felt fine about it. It's what it is. Where I was disappointed, and this is, you know, the tyranny of expectation, right?

Because it was to use a religious term, forbidden fruit for so long, and because it had been so hyped up by so many people in so many airports to me, I really wanted that sandwich to fucking taste amazing. Yeah. Like I wanted it to be gastro esophageal orgasmic experience. This is all that go back to an out. This is a lot of non-Californians expectations for an out burger when they happen for the first time and they feel let down. Right. They don't have the nostalgic connection. And, you know, I agree with you.

Solid execution all the way down, even from a obviously wacky chickfilet. Sure. I don't know what's going on over that chick filet. Like they may be anti-gay marriage, but they're clearly pro marijuana or something. I don't care. Not everything was delivered perfectly. Yeah. And yet the execution was very, very solid all around.

I didn't love the plane sandwich, but I could see how, you know, that could have been. Emma did and she's got good taste. So maybe it was just me. Yeah. And I do love the simplicity of just chicken pickle buttered bun that it should be so good. Yeah. And instead it was absolutely fine. Now, with regard to the French fries, someone I know, I was saying, oh, we're going to eat Chick-fil-A on doughboys.

My friend Janie was like, well, you know, their French fries aren't very good. So I was surprised when, I was not surprised that there weren't French fries. I was surprised that when it was revealed that the French fries you ordered had not shown up, that not only did your thigh tiger cry a tear, but the look of fury in your eyes were so intense. Here's a thing. And I was like, well, maybe these French fries are really good. Good. Here's the thing. It's less so that it's more that I was like, I knew this was your maiden voyage and I felt like they're a key part of the experience. I think if you're going to evaluate Chick-fil-A. I'm foreseeing people complaining about you not like rendering a verdict without even having the fries. I disagree with you. I don't think they're a key part of anything. Wow. They were just fine. They were fine. But that said. You cried for nothing. No, look, he's entitled to his own emotions.

Cry for nothing, old bitch. First off, I didn't cry. I love this particular bully character's idea, like you can only cry five times. I'm only allowed to cry five times. You better pick it wisely. Don't cry for nothing. One for each grandparent, then you get one parent. You can only cry at one parent.

Choose wisely. So, when it comes, down to forks score. Like, I don't know. Do you have my last rulings? I can look them all up. I just kind of want to have a basis for comparison, right? Sure.

Because, like, what is the last thing that I gave four forks to? I'm notorious. I was a spoiler almost 10 years ago when I came in and met you both for the first time. Back when you had no thigh tattoos and you lived on that, you lived in that apartment. Yes. And, uh, five forks for Regina. Well, obviously.

When you were here last. We did Spitz. Yes, Spitz, this was... Four Forks. Spitz was a four forker. That feels like a deserving for forker in my memory. Yeah. Also, Spitz is so much, I think it's more interesting than Chick-B, or whatever.

But it's accomplishing a different thing. It is. It is. It is. And it's a sit-down concept as opposed to a place that businesses primarily drive-through. I didn't, I remember in 2017 that kind of, I met with some angry stares when I did not give Arby's a very high score. Because I think I gave it a very low score. I was realizing that I was rating it on the basis of food as opposed to Arby's.

I'm on an island when it comes to Arby's. I feel like in this podcast, I really thought that it deserved to go all the way in the sandwich tournament. And I was shot down and no one agreed with me. I'm a big Arby's fan. I think Arby's is wonderful. My wife was Arby's. Yeah, RIP. And it's a, you know, it's a loss.

That's a loss. The last one. I'd love to, by the way, I don't, you know, look, if we're all still around, depending on how the tonteen plays out, we're all still around in 2027 for my 10-year anniversary on the show, I'd love to do Arby's again and see where things are. I'd love to review it. The previously, we also did Tiga bites, and you remember that Ghost Kitchen.

That was disgusting. I think that no one got even to one fork. And it was with us and David Reese. We also did, yeah, we did Arby's. Let me find the RB's scores back in the day. You gave it 1.25. 1.25, yeah. And Nick and Mitch gave it three.

We gave you angry stares, you were saying? I think that I think that, I think I gave it like a, did you just say what I gave Arby's? You gave it 1.25. 1.25. Are you saying Nick and I gave you angry stairs? I just think that it wasn't like you were angry at me. It was just like, oh, this guy doesn't know what's going on here. That there is, the great inflation is so high because we're eating garbage all the time.

Yeah. This is at least two or three forks. I forgot we had a different scale during a Green Grocer Mitch's grocery store month. It's me in my house after the podcast is angry stairs. Right. Up and down those stairs all angry. Seven. Do this fucking shitty show.

You gave Trader Joe's seven carts in one basket. I don't remember what the scale was. This podcast sucks. Most recent, most recent four fork score was for Spitz. Was for Spitz. And I think Spitz was pretty great. Spitz is fun. These grilled chicken nuggets kind of reminded me of the chicken skewers that they had over there.

It spits and it was good. Yeah. Yeah. The spicy chicken sandwich was good. The, I thought, I was surprised by the honey roasted barbecue sauce. I'm not a, I don't like this hot honey era, send me to hell. I hate hot honey. Wow.

I'm with you. I don't like, especially on pizza. I don't care. I don't care for honey. I don't care for sweets. I don't dislike hot honey, but it's gotten overplay. But put it on pizza. Come on.

I think it more concerned context. It got overblown. The honey roasted barbecue sauce was good. So I tried it and it was really good. I thought it was like kind of surprisingly complex. The Polynesian sauce is just like, would you like a tub of diabetes too? Like it's just too sweet, too sweet.

Not for me. All right. So with all of this set, oh, and no one mentioned the tortilla soup. We didn't talk about the tortilla soup. It was tasty. I thought tortillas was pretty good. Why would I ever get tortilla soup from Chick-fil-A? No, I mean, I wouldn't.

That scoop of vanilla ice cream. You also liked that? Good, good scoop of vanilla ice cream. When you open that tortilla soup, I was absolutely repulsed because it looks like vomit. It really does. It really does not look good. It reminded me of in Twin Peaks, they had the mystical creamed corn. That's what it kind of looked like.

Rest in peace, David Lynch. RIP. RIP. But you know what? I tasted it out, and it was good. It was quite good. And if this is a wacky chick-fil-A, I have to wonder what a chick-fil-A that's on its game is doing. Maybe I like the fact that it's a wacky chick-fil-A because maybe they're so wacky.

They forget that they are against same-sex marriage. So look. Welcome to wacky chick-fil-A. Would you like a glove stick with your order? I, you know, look, I don't want to be a performative virtue signaller. I'm trying to separate the political component from the food component. But the thing is, I think that you're right, it's a four-fork restaurant. Wow.

I will take back one time. Wow. For intolerance. Wow. So 3.4. No. Yeah, 3.4. 3.75?

3.75? 3.7. Five. Yeah, three forks, three times. Three times. Three forks, three times. Three four. Three times.

That's what I got to say. What is faith? Dictionary.com defines it as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. Well, because I have faith in you. Wow. It is also a strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof. Right. George Michael says we got a.

have it. R-IP. Yeah. Now what do I feel about it? I have a bit of faith, don't I, Wags? I think so. You're afraid of the devil. I'm afraid of the devil. I'm a God-fearing man in some ways, but more afraid of the devil

than God, of course. I like faith. Faith can be a good thing, but faith can also be a bad thing, Wikes. I don't know how much faith I have in Chick-fil-A. I like it. It's good, but doesn't get my loins

gone. my ball rugs it doesn't get me excited your balls roggin it doesn't get my balls rog in i'm not excited to go to chick-fil-a and in fact the last time i had chick-fil-a i believe was for this podcast i can believe that um i don't really care about it like other people care about it uh Casey from hateful Georgia or wherever the fuck he's from. Down here in hateful corners we have four chick flays

One on each corner. I still have faith in human beings. Unfortunately, the last, you know, few years, it's harder to have faith in them. But I do hope that deep down everyone is hopefully a good person. But I think that, you know,

it does bother me. The people, the people being against letting people do what I want to do. It would have to be so much better than this to tempt me back in. Let me put it that way. Not that I think I'm making a huge difference. Yeah, sure. Right.

Sorry. Just let, I don't understand why people care about stuff like that so much. But look, like you said, I also agree with you here. And I have faith in what you said is that this shouldn't come into play when we're, when we're reviewing this restaurant,

which, again, there's. Well, it can come into play. I'm just saying like, Like, you know, I also, like, in terms of people making their purchasing decisions. That's what I basically want. It comes right down to every one of these companies is run by someone who's probably. We were praising Little Caesars and had CEO and then people are on like, he's actually not a good person either.

It's like, there's no winning. There's, there's. No, no, no, no, exactly. It's a bad, it's a flawed podcast. It's not good. But this place, it just, I never, I'm never excited for Chick-fil-A. I think that they have good quality agreements. and I think that the baseline of quality is better than a lot of places.

But again, it's about the loins. What gets your loins fired up? Yeah. What, you don't like this? No, I don't. I think it's disgusting. It's all about the loins, man. What gets you fired, what gets you excited to go to restaurants?

Tune into your loins for a minute. This comes back to, I think. Don't think about my actual loins. I can't not think about it. I know, that's all I can think of. It's fair. thinking about your loins. I'm thinking about Jimmy licking her to feast on him.

I think the, I was, that was not some sort of ploy to get Jimmy to feast on my loins. I think a lot of this is just like, if you, if you'd grown up in, in hateful Georgia, and you would have,

and Chick-fil-A was your pizzeria Regina, that was like your go-to as a kid, I think you would have that connection. I think you would have that, that I think your loins would get fired up for it. Yeah. And so I, I think a lot of it is just like, it comes back to what Hodgman was saying of like, if you're coming to something in adulthood, you don't have the nostalgia working for you. So you really are. And sometimes you're being more objective, but you also have the unfair expectations of like you think this thing is going to knock your socks off. I also think that, and you pointed out this earlier, that, you know, fried chicken sandwich technology has evolved. It has evolved. I think the Popeye has one is strictly better. And I don't know that Chick-fil-A is keeping up necessarily.

Right. Or, you know, or is offering something, you know, if I were to do a blind taste test between the two sandwiches, I'm pretty confident. I would, in my memory, like, I just remember wanting to eat that Popeye's chicken sandwich all day long. Popeye's one's real good. And, you know, it's true. I mean, for a lot of people, they're choosing Chick-fil-A because of this particular stance that they have. Sure. And I, you know, again, this controversy goes back 10 years. That was when they were most vocal about this. And now maybe they don't care as much or it's not as public anymore. But they did take a public stance. Yeah. which attracts certain people, Mike Huckabee, and, you know, I think it's fair to be turned off by it. Of course, yeah. And, you know, there are a lot of restaurants. Forget about, you know, major chain restaurants, but, like, small restaurants that are run by big characters.

Sometimes it's like an asshole. And it's like, yeah, well, he's a real asshole and he yells at the customers, but the food is amazing. So you go anyway. Yeah. Well, what if the food isn't particularly amazing? Like, maybe I'm not going to go to the place where I'm going to get yelled. No, that's true. And we were, hey, we're just talking about Popeyes and the founder of Popeyes who was passed away.

but like, you know, that guy was a famous eccentric kind of a lot of people did not have a great opinion of this Louisiana sort of, you know, character. Right. I mean, like, I don't know. I mean, finish your point, Mitch. Land the plane. Yeah, yeah.

What the fuck's going on here? I'm the one who's review. It's my review time, your pieces of shit. All right. Talk about what makes your dick hard. I think, I think we, yeah. When it comes to fast rude restaurants, you're thinking, what makes my dick hard?

What gets my loins gone? Now you're just ripping. off Jacques Papin. That's what he would always say. Fine. Let's say, does it slap or not? Is that better for you? No, I don't care. I like the loins is fine. Loins is great. All right, good, good, good. Don't want to invoke. It's close to Oscar season. Don't want to invoke

Will Smith. That's bad luck. Are you afraid if you say his name three times, you get slapped? That also happens. If you say this slaps, just careful. Oh, I got you right. You're going to say, you can't say that around with Mr. Smith. Right. I wish Mr. Smith would go to Washington and slap a bunch of them. Wow. Wow. Wow. You're talking about those clowns in Congress. Yeah. Mr. Smith, make that, remake that. Remake that. Mr. Smith goes to Washington and have Will Smith. Slap all the, and you know what? Faith No More. We're done with Faith. Wow. Wow. But is this restaurant epic.

Okay. The reference to the Faith No More single. Are you saying this is not a Christian podcast? No, it's still a Christian podcast. Still Christian podcast. I thought I knew all the injures. We're moving past faith. Yes. Faith no more, but is the restaurant epic. Yeah.

Or is it having a midlife crisis? And you know what? It just doesn't make the four fork club for me. I'm going 3.9 forks. I'm getting this close. 3.9 forks. I hypothetical 10-tined 4. That's right.

With one-tined move. Wow. Yeah. You're not going to allow that? No, I'm allowed. It's allowed. I love the 10-9. own time fork. Ten time fork. Wow.

Not three point. Ten time fork also sounds like an indie band from the 90s. I think that this is so close to me to, I just never crave it. I'm never craving it. It's not it's not, it's not going to, me. I'm not like excited to

sorry. I'm not excited I love it. Loinworthy. I'm not excited to go here. I think that the shakes are good. And if I were to go get something now, I'm like, I probably would swing by and get a shake at Chick-fly. But I don't really care about the chicken sandwiches that much. And sometimes this is crazy. I know a Mick chicken sandwich is, is, is, is, is worse. But I'm like, maybe it was just like a spicy

McChicken. That, like, like, I don't know. I get that it's like. They came into this market with a very specific mission, chicken sandwich. And they delivered for a long time. And maybe they're still delivering at their peak of their powers, but their other people are doing better. The fries were better than I thought they were, but I'm with you. I'm like, I don't really care. McDonald's fries are. billion times better. I just never have a good reason to go here. I like that. Honestly, today was like the closest that I'm like, this is a Golden Play Club. I think it's, yeah, I think it is close to me. And even, you know what, maybe it, I would maybe agree that it is like a four forker. Right.

But I, but I don't, nothing more than that. And it gets, it gets three point nine. Three point nine forks. Wow. Almost a tenth of a fork. It is the like, like, I just want to say one thing in case anyone is going at Mitch here, which is that you love fried chicken. In fact, the first six fork you score you gave was to a fried chicken chain, Bonchon. Yes. So, like, you are someone who has high standards for this food stuff, this food stuff that you love, and you just don't think this quite meets the threshold. I just don't think it's epic.

Yeah. Now, what is it? What is it? What is it? Right. Faith No More sings of Epic in their song, Epic. Sure. And Dictionary.com defines Epic as a long poem.

typically one derived from ancient oral tradition. Yeah. Narrating the deeds and adventures of heroic or legendary figures. Wow. Or, and then it cuts off because I can't read the rest of it. Interesting indeed. Interesting. Is this paywold?

No, just because I didn't push church. It was just in the search bar. Oh, okay. At the top. You refuse to subscribe to dictionary.com. I'm on, we mentioned this, but I'm on dictionary plus. I get the, There's words in there that they don't put in the regular dictionary.

Oh, wow. Bonus words. It's worth, like, getting behind the paywall for that one, because, yeah, you get the real words. And you don't have to see any ads. Yeah, I'm on dictionary plus. Yeah, yeah, you're on it, too. I'm also on Merriam-Webster Prime.

Do you know what the definition of slingdom? Do you know, do you know? No. Interesting. You got to get dictionary plus. What? If you had dictionary plus, Swags knows what I'm saying when I say slingdom.

Yeah, well. Did you say Merriam-Webster Prime? Oh, yeah. I like that. Casey, what's your fork score? Five. I mean... It can be five forks.

It's not five forks. I think a lot of it forks. I think a lot of it for me is growing up in hateful Florida. Like I grew up with Chick-fil-A as, as, you know, the go-to-fried chicken spot. So there is a lot of nostalgia. It reminds me of Charles. when I eat it. I would give it, I'd say four forks. Four forks. Yeah, I think four for works is, I'll say this. It's very much like when I first came to Los Angeles,

like, what's the big deal with In Out Burger? And I've come around on In Out Burger quite a bit. And I'm like, In An Out Burger is a very good fast food chain restaurant. And it is high quality. And I've just never gotten the Chick-fil-A thing as much as in-an-out burger. I just never have like, I've been like, whatever. I don't care. It doesn't. Sure. That's fair. Today, like, that spicy chicken sandwich and those shakes, I'm like, that to me is getting it closer, but I'm like, I don't, I still don't, it still isn't something that I would go out of my way to get. I think the packaging is cool. I like their design.

Yeah, I think it's nice and clean. I think it looks good. They're open on the, they have a little, what is it, not kiosk, but they have a little table or a counter. Yes. At Mercedes-Benz Stadium, which is football stadium. Sure. And it's closed on Sundays, which is very funny that they, that, uh... They're so stringent about their principles that when they could do all of their business on a Sunday when there's an NFL game, they're still like, it's still closed.

Yes, yes, yes. Emma, what's your fork score? Um, I think I'm, like, agreeing with the four forks. That feels pretty solid. I think if someone was like, here, it got you some chicken and hand me chick fly, I'd be fucking stoked. All right. So this is in the producers plate club, at least. The deus.

The deus. The deus plate club. The deus plate club. The deus plate club. The deus plate club. The deus dish. The deus dish. Wow.

The deus dish. I guess we should get Amelia's score too, but just to confirm. She gives it four. Amelia, come on it. Amelia gives it four. Wow. Wow. Wow. Congratulations.

More force from Amelia. Consolation prize, Chick-fil-A, you are in the Deiast Dish Club. Wow, the Deiast Dish Club. Yeah. And I would say probably the Deiess Dish Club is the more honest club. I think so, yeah. They just have their opinions. They're not out here worried about getting torn apart on social media.

They've got nothing to prove. What is a dais? Dictionary.com describes it as A low platform for a lectern Seats of Honor or a throne. Wow. How about that? Seats of honor.

You know what I was going to say about that Burger King and Kennebunk, Emma? That's the last place and first place that I ever had chicken fries from Burger King. Yeah. And I find those to be delightful. I don't like chicken fries, but I admire

your passion. I just, you know, that's something that I would pick over this, I would say. What I do like from Burger King, Chicken-wise, that Long-Boy is great. Long-Boy is great. Until Mike is found the bag in his. Yeah, that's a bummer. Just don't get the Long-Pig sandwich. You don't want to get that. Long-pig was a euphemism

for human flesh. Wait, really? Yeah. How do you not know that? Do you know that? No, but I don't know a lot of shit. Okay. I just sit here and nod along. Wait a minute. What about Jemmy's Forks? She obviously found the chicken to be jeans licking good. I mean, I think she would give it five forks. Jimmy, what do you think?

It's your friend, John Hodgman. Remember me? Yeah, you're looking up. She's like, yeah, hold on. I got to try one more bite before I can decide. Final bite? Jimmy is also dagger. She's dog bagger.

Dog America great again. Dog America great again. Sounds like a dog would say if they could speak. Dog America, great again. Based on that face, I'm going to go with five forks because she just wants more of it. She loves it. I'm just, do you want to rub some on your jeans?

You don't have to rub it on my jeans. I'll just put that there. Good girl. Yeah. It's really nice to see you, Jimmy. It's so nice to meet you. I'll feed your chicken any time. She's like, you're not my favorite.

You've given me so many snacks. I know, look. No tuning. I'm up here on my lap. Come on. And I'll feed you more. If you fart in the studio, you get booted out, right, Nick? Yeah, that's the rules.

She's going to start ripping ass all the time now. All right, that was our review. By the way, the level of deodorization in the bathroom here was incredible. Oh, yeah. When I walked in there, it was like 15 different, 15 different Fabrese things are going. They all up those numbers once we moved in here. I was like, wow. Only on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

They just need to match that with soundproofing. the one note. All right. Hey, that was her review of Chick-fil-A. Honestly, they're going to go one where they should either amplify it. They should put speakers that you can hear everything that's happening in the bathroom. Sure. Or they block it out. They have to go one route or their other because it's so close now that it doesn't matter.

I was in here a couple weeks ago and it was one of those things like, because you know, very often there are a few people here. And I was like, I was in the bathroom and I just like, I was like, I, this is just happening. I just got to fucking do this. This is horrible. And I'm in the bathroom. There's like one person working in like the main area and I'm just like sandblasted in there.

I'm just like flooring it. It's fucking horrible. And it's so embarrassing, but I'm like, but I'm like, well, I think, I'm sure. I think it's probably enough, it's muted enough where this guy, whoever this person is going to hear, like, hear what I'm doing in there, right? He's not hearing my shame. And then like I, like, I get to a moment of calm and like, like, like between bursts. And I just hear from outside just a single cough, just like a, I'm like, if I can hear that

I cough. He was hearing me fucking going ham in there. You know? That's, I can hear, I can hear everything that's happening. So embarrassing. You came out and he had like gigantic noise cancelling headphones on. I was going to say maybe we should get the hunk some noise canceling headphones as a gift. And the guys who put bags in the planes at airports. Yeah.

Look, I know that you want to wrap this up, but I am going to say, if Jemmy comes over here to eat this chicken and leaves the couch. Makes the choice of Chick-fil-A over Mitch, I will up my score. Wow. To Four Forks. Okay, we'll see if it happens. That was a review of Chick-fil-A. It's time for a segment. Can Mitch and Hodgman solve me and Amelia's baked goods mysteries

and outwit the world's greatest bread detective. That's right. It's the debut of the inimitable. Oh, my God. He has a hat. Get a pipe. Detective Sherlock Crumbs. Oh, my.

Wow. Oh, Culinarily, my dear spoon man. The game... Culinarily? Culinarily, my dear spoon man. The cum is afoot. I present to you three distinct plates of crumbs.

I think so. I mean, I know so. It is. Hit me up in the comments if you got that joke. All right, I'm getting into the cat. Dad and cat. I present to you, Spoon Man, and you Hodgeman, three distinct plates of crumbs.

You must divine the source of each crumb leavings using your skills of each crumb leavings, using your skills of intuition alone. First up, Amelia, can we present this? Do you have to talk like that the whole time? This is how I sure luck crumbs talk. We can look at this? All right, I know the answer to this.

Yes. Can I just say it? No, well, give me a chance. Oh, do we get to try the crumbs? Yeah, you can do, whatever you want to do with the crumbs. It's smart food or popcorn. I thought we were supposed to eat them. You can eat them.

You can look at them. You can smell them. It's popcorn. Or, hmm, is it a rice cake? It's popcorn. Yes, I agree. It's popcorn. Wait, is it a rice cake?

No, I think that this, or it could be a... Popcorn cake? Yeah, there are... Those exist? Yeah. I think you're right. I think it's popcorn. Popcorn.

It tastes like popcorn. You're both guessing popcorn. Wait, I mean... Yeah. Yes. Detect, what is it, Sherlock Wags? Sherlock Crumbs. Oh, Sherlock Crumbs.

Sherlock Com is next week. This case reminds me of my alter-rival, more rye-arty. Rye is and rye bread. Rye is and rye bread for I am Sherlock Crumbs. More rye Arbys. More rye Arbys. That's an alt. We can go with that.

The answer, you both get it as skinny pop-pop-pop. Skinny pop popcorn. I'm not sure that I would have gotten if Mitch had not said it. Are you giving me the point? I mean, do we get points? You each have a point. Next up.

Number two. Wait, so wait, hold on. Exhibit number two. Sherlock Crumbs, this is also a game. You already give us points? Yes, I'm officiating the game. Okay. I know the answers because I'm the world's greatest

bread detective. Wow. All right, number two, please take that in your hands, Spoon Man, and inspect. I am taking off... this, I guess this would be like you would cover a corpse in these.

Yeah. It's kind of like a... You should have come in body bags. Yes. Yeah. It's a paper towel with the number two written out. Wow.

Okay. This to me, right off the bat, it kind of looks like a Ritz Cracker. But I think it's a little cheesier than that. I feel like it looks like a cheese-it to me. You know, I'm realizing,

I set this up as I'm the world's greatest bread detective and called myself Sherlock Crumbs none of these are bread. I'm just realizing there's zero bread here. There is zero bread. Baked goods detective. Baked goods detective.

Yeah, baked goods detective. It's not very cheesy though. There is cheese to it, I think. And I think that these are what are what are the alt cheese its? Oh yeah, that other brand.

Yeah. What the fuck are they called? Cheese nips. Cheese nips. These are cheese nips. I'm going to go ahead with cheese itts because I haven't seen a box of cheese nips in 30 years. And they're not cheese it's.

I'll tell you that. I'll just tell you they're not cheesits. Look, I don't care. Win the game. I don't give a shit. Unfortunately, I believe you both have chosen a bread herring. This case reminds me of the pound cake of the Baskervilles.

God, how much response? Did you write? Where the real solution is obvious, won't you hear it? Goldfish crackers. Gold fish crackers. Cheater flavor, though.

Cheddar flavor. Cheddar flavor. All right, one more. Exhibit number three is tied at one. Oh, I should have gotten that. I'm mad at myself. Removing the evidentiary napkin. Oh, that's just straight up Doritos.

I mean, do we even have to? Oh, wait, hold on a second. Maybe that's not Jerritos. Odgman is taking a taste. It's not Doritos. Jimmy is sniffing. It is not, it's definitely got a non, it's not a nacho cheese Dorito flavor profile.

No, I know what it is. I think I know what it is. Is this a potato chip or a corn chip? Are we working together or against one another? I've, of course, collaborate with Watson, or I guess I should say, Bread Watson. Bread Watson? Why not Bredson? Bredson, yeah, Bredson, that's what I said.

I don't collaborate with him because he's one of those fucking doctors. God damn physician. I think that this is, I think that this is a potato. I'm going to say this is an all-dressed potato chip. I'm going to say that it's a barbecue flavored potato chip. I think you're right. I think he's right, Jimmy. To this, I say, once again,

culinaryally, my dear spoon man, this is a barbecue potato chip, barbecue baked lays, Mitch Wynn. Wow. It's not baked. It's not baked. So this wasn't even baked? What is Sherlock?

Explain Sherlock crumbs to me again, because I have a pipe and a hat. When we're talking about this segment, I had any type of crumbs in mind. Oh, it's not bread, it's any type of crumbs. Okay. type of crumbs we'll do. We'll discuss offline. Okay, we're going to perfect this segment.

Sure, our crumbs should still work. Right? It still works. I just need to figure out exactly what my identity is, which of course I know because I'm the world's greatest detective. Well, quite a contest. Congratulations to you, Spoon Man. Now I must return to my famous address.

No. 21 Bread Baker Street. Why not just Baker Street? Yeah, why not just Baker Street? that's the real one, of course, so why would he stay there? That's true. 21B baked lays street. It's pretty good.

I'll pass it along to Sherlock Crumbs. What are you happening to that guy? I don't know. He got out of here. Boy, he got out of here quick. Just like a restaurant fire feedback. Let's open up to the feedback. Today's email is from Lee from Philly.

Wow, go birds. Lee writes, hey everyone. Obligatory introductory note about how I'm such a huge fan of the show. And I've been listening incessantly since I dove into the back catalog a few years ago, after previously being more of a guest-specific listener. Shouted to the initial crossovers with the Blank Check Boys and Jamel Bowie's episodes. The question is not really food related, but the bathroom chat on recent episodes, bathroom breakdown, inspired me to send this one in for a group discussion about restroom etiquette.

This is a longstanding where over a decade in at this point, debate between me and my best pal. Well, so they've been having this debate for longer than the Doe Boys podcast has been going on. You read for like a full minute and the question is not here. What the hell is happening? Here's the scenario. Say we're at a restaurant and there are only single-person bathrooms with no indication of whether the bathroom is occupied. like a little red sign when the door is locked or a stall under which you can see feet.

Person A goes to poop and forgets to lock the door. Person B neglects to knock and walks in on person A at their most vulnerable. Who is most at fault here? A or B. I think it's obviously person A, even if they were just being forgetful or messed up the lot, but my friend insists everyone has an obligation to knock first.

Related question, do you have any memorable instances being a bathroom intruder or intrudee? I think in this scenario, And Judge John Hodgman, look, you're rendering verdicts. Hey, available every Wednesday at maximum fund.org. I think that... Another podcast crossover that you did not mention, but that's fine. Judge John Hodgman.

I think that this is a thing of... I think it's the obligation of the person using the restroom to lock the door. I think like, you go in and you should make sure the door is... But I do think it works both ways. if you have to say there's more culpability, I feel like if there was a lock that was operable, you chose not to use it or you forgot to use it and someone walks in on using the bathroom,

that's your fault and you have to take the L on that one. But I also think it's just common courtesy to knock before you try. And also, like, listen for a reply. So you're saying B. No, I think person A is the issue, but I think person B also should knock. I don't think you should just walk in.

But if it's a thing that's a, Was he saying that there's a, it shows the green? No, that's the scenario. The scenario is there's no indication that the bathroom is occupied. There's not a little red sign. It just is like a closed door. Would you knock if it was green? Would you do a little, I would probably do it as I opened it maybe?

Yeah, I'd probably do as a courtesy. Yeah, but I think you knock, wait a second and then open. Like, wait for a reply. If you don't hear a reply, then open. If it's green, I'm knocking and going. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, you don't have an indicator in this situation. No indicator in this scenario.

Yeah. If there's no indicator, that changes, that does change. the whole thing. I have a question for Lee. Do they ever call you Phil Lee? Like, Philly? That's kind of fun. They probably do. That's kind of cool. Yeah. I don't know. Big game. It's cool. I do have a story of, we've talked about this on the podcast a million times when I worked at the Simpsons and I was. Oh, you worked to the Simpsons? I worked at the Simpsons. I was in the bathroom after work. We talked about this. Yeah. And then the lights, the motion lights went out and I, it was pitch black and I waddle. It was so late on the lot and I waddled out of the bathroom with my pants around my legs, waving my arms. Yeah. And then a crew guy from house walked in.

We talked about this, right? We did talk about this. So the crew guy. Wait, were your pants down around your ankles? Yes. Well, you're waddling around? Everything was out. Everything was out.

Right. You weren't done using the bathroom. The motion light went off. The motion light went out and it was pitch black. You couldn't see anything. Was this a one cedar or was a subpoena? No, it was a, but there was no one on the lot. It was like, it was, it was like 9.30 on a Friday night.

So there's no lock for this door. No, there was. I couldn't turn the motion lights on without leaving the stall. He was in the stall. There's a lock on the stall. There's not a lock on the outside door. To reactivate the lights, you had to leave the door. So I left and I started waving my hands to try to get the lights to come back on.

And then a crew guy from house walked in and saw me doing this, waving my hands. And was, and he left. It was funny. He just, he walked out. And I was like, well, that was embarrassing. It was very embarrassing. Nobody's fault there. Nobody's fault.

Yeah. Month later, that happens to Hugh Lurie on House. You think it was maybe a producer instead of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a, it was figured out our second act. So this is a, uh, a restroom in a restaurant. I mean, here is the, it's just, it just says restroom, but I guess we can imagine it's in a restaurant in the scenario. I mean, I would say person a, a, uh, a restaurant.

is baseline at fault because unless you can't avoid it, you shouldn't be doing number two in a restaurant. Interesting. Sometimes you can't help it. Sometimes you can't avoid it. Obviously. But you should try to plan your day

keeping your poops at home. Ideally, but it can't. You know, this is good for our listeners. Keep your poops at home. Yeah. Maybe. Keep them at home. I mean, this is a point of etiquette.

So I'm just saying, like, you know, if you can't. I'm sorry, I'm not. guiltless here. No, me neither. And if I went into the thing and I forgot to lock it and someone walked in on me, I don't think, I think I would be like, this is very embarrassing for both of us, but fair. I mean, I should have locked it. I take the yell that I forgot to lock it. That's my fault. Yes. I can't think of a worst thing at a restaurant than two single person bathrooms for a full restaurant of people. Like, it's just the door that locks and then you're in the bathroom

alone. I hate that more than anything. I kind of like it, but I think there just need to be enough. But there's not, there's two. No, I'm saying there's two. Yeah, just two is not enough. That's not enough, yeah. On Judge John Hodgman, we often have this ongoing debate as to whether it's better. Who should clean the lint screen of a dryer? If you've finished using the dryer, do you clean the lint screen for the next person?

I do that, yeah. Or do you or, you know, but on the lint screen, it says clean before every use. The instruction is clean it before you use it. Now, if you don't clean the lint screen, you could have a house fire. It's dangerous. So it is imperative that linscreen get cleaned. And for that reason, even though it is more courteous for someone to clean the lint screen after use, it is the responsibility of every user to check it before they use it. I agree with that.

That's a fucking bullshit. I don't think it's one or the other responsibility. And I would say it's nice if you do it for the next person, but that next person can't presume that you've done it for that. Make your link and get out there. I don't know exactly how this tracks to this other than it gave me a chance to mention Judge Town Hodgeman available. Maximumfund.org every Wednesday. Check out Dicktown on Hulu. Two seasons.

It's still there. I don't think they've run out of hard drive space. In any case, but I would say it's on both like you should knock before you go through any door, whether or not, you know, any closed door, whether or not someone's pooping inside. You don't know what's going on. It could be Mitch getting his ballrogs off by wandering around in the dark with his pants down. Yeah, if you're claiming all I had to activate the motion sensor. I also think there's something. If you're outside of bathroom door and you hear you shall not bust.

You should knock. That's the weirdest Jeff Foxworthy routine I've ever. All right, Gemmy is now sitting up. She's ready. She knows the episode is almost over. I think if you see her a little click click, like I do sometimes, I'll show. If you do that over there with the chicken. Let's see because this is like, well, you know, we're recording this.

this only a few days after Groundhog Day, it makes sense to defer to the wisdom of the animal kingdom. And, you know, is the question, is this good enough for Gemmy to leave the comfort of her friend, Mitch? The answer is no. Or it's not firing up her loins and she'd rather be with her friend. If you took it out and held it in your fingers down by the floor and clicked at her, she'd come get it.

That's my guess. Let's see what happens because this is for that extra time, for me anyway. Jimmy really likes me, though, as a part of the issue. I was in a Baja fresh once. and I did the thing. It was a bathroom. It was a single person bathroom. And there was no outside indicator.

So this was the exact scenario. You're still talking about poops? Yeah, I am. I knocked. Heard nothing. So like knock, knock, knock, no reply. Open. It was open.

Pushed it open. There's an older woman on the toilet. And she goes, oh! Like just totally. And I felt horrible. But I was also like, that's on you. You need to lock the door and you need to reply. How long was your lecture to her in that moment?

Excuse me, ma'am, that's on you. The door closes behind you as you come in. No interference, please, Emma. Let Jenny make her own decisions. She looks like she really wants it. I have a theory. I know, but you know, it's like, this is the same thing. Like, am I going to go out of my way to get Chick-fil-A?

No. If someone is feeding it to me, like the doughboys did today, sure, I'll eat it. And I think this is the same thing. I have a theory. That lady was into it. Oh, no, you caught me. I think the, to mention, one thing I would say about, like, knock, knock, open. I think if knock, knock, open is like, I'm coming in.

And I think you need to knock, knock, give it a beat for response, and then open. If you walk, if you- Knock, knock, pause, knock, free to enter. What do you say if you're in the bathroom and someone knocks? Occupied, that's what I yell. One second. One minute, yeah, one minute, occupied. here's the deal.

Here's what I think. If you open the door and you walk in on someone who's on the toilet, you should at least offer to wipe. You should offer the wipe. I'm like, I'm so sorry. Do you want to clean up?

What direction do you prefer? Sideways. It's Paul Giammati. You walked in a Paul Giumati, going to the bathroom. Is that why the movie is named Sideways? Is that why the movie's named Sideway? That's what yeah.

I guess this is a movie about wine. I don't understand why it's called sideways. There's a delete scene. It's because Paul Jammati wipes sideways. Yeah. There's a delete scene where they show him wiping it side to side. It feels like it would be harder.

One time I was on an Amtrak train heading north to Western Massachusetts with our daughter at Christmas time. And it was a pretty full train. And there was a Paul Giamatti looking guy. Whoa. He wasn't Paul Giamatti. But it looked a lot like him. Yeah.

And he had that kind of Paul Jammati voice. Sure. And he was just. just really loving drinking but like tallboys from the from the diner car or whatever and he was bringing them back and he was drinking. It was the holidays.

He was having fun. He was talking to everybody. He was going all the way to Vermont. We were getting out before him. And as we're getting out, he's like, he's so garrulous and fun. And as we're getting out, he picks up the phone.

We can hear him. He goes, what's that? Oh, hey, hey, how are you? What's that you say? Literally true. naked pictures of me on the internet well that can't be right no

what where and it became very clear there were naked pictures of him on the internet it was not like a someone who scammed you when you're eating your red beans and rice where they were trying to fish in it no it was a friend of his calling him and then he started calling everyone he knows said have you heard this well it's not true they're not me i don't know there must have been Photoshop

and it's like oh this guy's Christmas is going in a different direction. Wow. This is a before and after moment in this guy's life. That's wild. And I don't know why he should be ashamed. Yeah, sure. If there were naked pictures of Paul Giamati on the internet,

look at them, I'd be happy for him. He's got a great, you know, white style. Do you like the guy who called him was the Dean from Barton Academy? The holdovers school? The holdovers. The dean from Barton Academy. I'm sorry, you're fired. Because there are naked pictures of you on the internet.

Even though this movie is set. in the what? 1970? You just said a Paul Giumani guy, on the train of New England in the wintertime and I just thought it might have been you know, he might have worked at Barton Academy. That's right.

Could be, yes. That's all, that's all. Well, let's end the episode. You know what? Do we have a consensus from the dais? I crossed the line. No, you did great. Do we have a consensus from the dais?

Like, like, I feel like we're all on the same page here, right? It's like, does anyone disagree? It's the person related to lock the door. I do think in a public restroom, you should knock. I kind of think it's one of those things where everyone here kind of You all did the wrong thing. Right. But like, it's definitely on the person inside.

Look, we're trying to live in a civilization here, right? And that means we need to take some basic responsibility for each other. Right. We're in a mode of civilization right now where selfishness is being rewarded. It's like, it's all about me and I want what I want and fuck anyone who gets in my way. That's not the way you, that's not the way this works. You got a lock and you got a knock. Yes.

Both. Everyone's responsible. Lock and knock. I think you got a lock. I don't think. you got a knock. Wow. I just walk in because I don't think, I'm not going to hear their response anyway.

No, and you want to see. You're not going to hear the response. You want to see. Because usually a lot of the times is what happens in Wiger's situation where I'll knock and I don't hear anything and then I go in and then it's like it's locked or you want to. Amelia, you're the most wrong that there is the most strong. You don't have to knock. It's okay.

I think you should knock. Casey, you think you should knock. I think you should knock. I usually knock. And I notice around here, not a lot of people knock. People do not knock here. Well, there are indicators on those doors. Yeah, but I...

But they're kind of janky. I won't be in there often and someone's just trying to get in. Yeah. That's the equivalent of a knock. That's me and Wags together trying to get in. To quote the Wiger Tiger, that's on you. But I lock the door. I do make sure I lock the door.

You got to lock the door. Do you ever see the deleted scene from Holdover? Which one? I've seen some of them But maybe not the one you're referring to Farnty. He wipes He's wiping his ass sideways

Of course Oh, so that's like yeah It's an Alexander Payne thing Yeah He puts it in every movie But then he actually cuts it From every movie I remember right now

I'm Citizen Ruth Like his first feature It's also got that It's a deleted scene Yeah yeah yeah And then I'm just thinking back on like You know election Election yeah

You know what Mitch election has it too Yeah yeah yeah yeah Jack Nicholson about Schmidt Yeah about yeah yeah Yeah Boy's like more like about shit Yeah, when he's wiping sideways. Yeah, you think I didn't tee that up for you?

The thing I didn't see, you coming with that one? I could have done that one. I didn't. That one for Luke and Donchitz to Mark Williams, both new Lakers. There we go. And downsizing is kind of weird.

They're like, look at the toilet paper is so tiny. It's like, yeah, it's going to be so much harder to wipe sideways. They say they never show it. But they stay sideways. It's kind of like a little winky sort of. It's a motif. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see, what else?

What else? It's good to end the episode. on a what else sort of bit. The Hawaiian ones. The descendants. The descendants of Hawaii. You're right.

Yeah. That's right. Matthew Lillard. Wipes. Matthew Lillard's. Huh? You know, you've seen it.

I auditioned for the descendants. Oh, you didn't watch it because you auditioned for it and you're resentful that you didn't get the part. Yeah. The part would not have been right for you. I know.

I know. I know that. Yeah. It's not, you're a great actor, but they cast like a, they cast a director said you want to claw his eyes out after you watch my audition.

Oh, God. What? To you? To me. That's not. I guess I've never told this story on the show. You told this. No, I think I've heard.

You told him. I was pretending not. Oh, fuck. Trying to keep it locked. It is true. That is true. And then also in. Well, I follow the casting director to the bathroom and I saw he.

He was wiping his ass on. Citizen Ruth, election, descendants, eyedways, holdovers. Nebraska, Nebraska. Nebraska. That's one we're forgetting, Nebraska. with Bruce Stern. Bruce Stern, yeah, wipe side to side.

I asked Bob, I was like, how is filming Nebraska? He's like, it's good, but we had to wipe our ass sideways the whole time. I was like, that's fucking weird. You had to do it off set? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was like a Daniel Day Lewis thing. They kind of had to stay in character. Yeah, yeah. If you have a question or comment about the world old chain restaurant, so you can email us at Feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us of voice mail to go to that's 8304-4-4. And then to get the Doboys double a weekly bonus episode

plus our entire pre-208-tallel and subscribe at patreon. slash doughboys. our producer is the birthday girl Emma Irbrink. Our social producers, Emilie Marino. Our supervising video producers, Casey Donny U. Our video editor is Mike Dorfman. Our guest, the great John Hodgman.

John, thank you so much for being here. One of our favorite guests. Thank you. I always always always always spending time with you. End of the Chick-fil-A episode. We're praying for it. I was just thinking, you know, 20 years ago, I actually profiled Alexander Payne for the New York Times Magazine.

That's wild. When I would write and I visited Omaha with him, and he took me all around town and we're hanging out together. And now look where I am. Do you have anything you know? Trying to remember Alexander Payne movies to fantasize about how wiping your ass sideways might have featured into the plot.

Casey, do we get all of them? What do we? I'm never do we missing? Yeah, we're back on this then. I want to say thank you to my dad and my cat. See you at home. And Jimmy, you've been very good, so I'm going to feed you this now.

She never left. You never change your fork score. You're more important than this. Even now, she's just like, yeah, okay, I guess I'll eat. Because when we got her, it was like very clear to us very early on that she values her comfort over food because we tried to get her out of a bed once with a paparoni and she would not move. She like sat up and looked at us and was like, I will stay right here. Do you want to come down? You want to come down here for this?

Go ahead. Go ahead. You want to come get it? Come on. Come get it. She loves her friend Mitch. Yeah. She loves me.

Oh my God. Wow. Humorous. I'm going to take that as a win for me, not for Chick-Pal. Thank you, honey. I'll say this to when at the end. of records. Emma holds up a

paparoni and that's how she gets Wagrin'i out of the recording studio. John, Judge John Hodgman, people should check it out. Great podcast. Max, you'd like to plug? Yeah, David Reese and I made a very funny

cartoon featuring Mitch. That's right. In a critical role as... I was honored. Yeah, and it's a show called Dicktown and it's a funny cartoon and it's Griffin Newman's on it as well. That's right.

And I wanted to cast you in it and then produces like, this is, this, our show is not a doughboys fan fiction. That was the line. Weiger's involvement was the line. Unfortunately, yes. We'll never get a third season, but if we ever do, you're going to be in all of the episodes. All of them?

What's an empty promise that I feel very confident making? Anything. I also have something I'd like to plug, which I really do. People should check out the short film The Passion of Martin, which Alexander Payne directed before Citizen Ruth. It's an interesting movie about a guy. Martin, the title character whose passion is wiping side to side. Hey, that'll do it for this episode of Do Boys.

Until next time, for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. I'm Tiger Weiger. Happy eating. See ya. Hey, buddy. Want Do Boy's merch? We're talking hats. Shirts, sweatshirts, patches, glasses, glasses, all sorts of stuff.

Aprons. It's all available at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. That's kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. Sources for the intro are in the episode description. That was a hit gum podcast. podcast.