Doughboys - Chili's 3 with Eva Anderson

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

Eva Anderson (@evafay, The Lost Episode 400) joins the 'boys to discuss her recent trip to Vegas and novelty restaurants before celebrating 500 episodes with a review of Chili's. Plus, the return of Unsatisfied Yelper, and a Snack or Wack.To celebrate the 500th episode of Doughboys, Michael Cassady has released the original main themes for Doughboys and Doughboys Double PLUS a new extended remix of the Doughboys Double “Doughboys Double MAX.” Stream at https://linktr.ee/michaelcassady or wherever you get your music.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://help.cucas.cn/index/detail?id=2236https://news.at0086.com/China-University-Guide/What-is-Project-985-in-China.htmlhttps://www.bbc.com/news/technology-53640724https://www.reuters.com/world/china/exclusive-bytedance-co-founder-zhang-yiming-step-down-ceo-2021-05-20/https://finance.yahoo.com/news/bytedances-low-profile-founders-donate-093000073.htmlhttps://www.cnbc.com/2024/08/15/brinker-earnings-chilis-sales-boosted-by-tiktok-fast-food-rivalry.htmlhttps://www.thetakeout.com/1725349/rise-fall-and-resurrection-of-chilis/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Be our kids dot com. Each Doughboyz comic comes with a toy pack. That's a random Mitch or random Weiger. You don't get to choose, but you do get to choose what you want to do with it. Wink. These comics are legitimately the most excited we've been about something at Doughboyz in a while. The writer Alex Fehrer and the artist Fred C. Stressing

have done an incredible job. I mean, just look at this thing. You can see some of these pages here. And hey, I know somebody who's already enjoying it. It's a really, really cool thing that exists, that you can own. And we'd love it if you would order yourself a copy. So go to BRkids.com, check out Doughboys, the comic book. We'll see in the funny pages.

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this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash doughboys media. Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash doughboys media. Project 985. It either sounds like a meaningless generic corporate initiative or an order from Emperor Palpatine. But it was in fact a massive transformative investment in Chinese higher education launched in May 1998, the 98-5, by then-President Zheng Zemin. It's typical of China's 21st century expansion of its public sector, just as the U.S. accelerated its ongoing goal of fully dismantling its own in favor of private sector graft. One of the 39 research universities given billions in funding via Project 985 was Nankai

University, where computer science students Zheng Yiming and Liang Ruobao were college roommates, beginning a long collaboration that would culminate in the founding of ByteDance in 2012. By 2017, ByteDance launched its signature product, TikTok, which ultimately transformed social media worldwide. A yes-and of the earlier Vine that allowed for both pithy videos of big asses shaking and more expansive videos of some beardo explaining some bullshit like a real fuckface. As TikTok became both a cultural moment and a political flashpoint, Yaming and Ruibo remained largely out of the spotlight, a contrast with Western tech CEOs who seemed determined to

become celebrity Nazis with their own space programs. And it was their innovative Chinese video platform that indirectly resuscitated a staid American chain restaurant. In 2024, Yankee TikTokers began posting en masse about a 50-year-old Dallas-founded Tex-Mex concept known for its big-mouth burgers and baby back ribs. Motivated by nostalgia and or novelty, influencers gravitated toward promoting the Triple Dipper appetizer sampler. According to parent company Brinker International CEO Kevin Hockman, after this triforce of apps went viral, quote, the Triple Dipper accounted for about 40% of the chain's sales

growth. Hockman and company savvily embraced virality with surprisingly non-cringy corporate social media and a traditional media campaign focusing on the sit-down chain's price competitiveness with drive-through to wild success. The Chinese ascendancy over American platforms and social media is mirrored in the fast food sector where Chinese upstart MixAway has now usurped American companies McDonald's, Starbucks, and Subway to become the largest chain in the world. And whether or not the 21st century is in fact the Chinese century,

it's clear that with the US embracing police state fascism, laying off thousands of government workers, and allowing the rise of smartless mobile, it won't be the American century. But at least we've got Nashville hot mozzarella sticks. American century. But at least we've got Nashville hot mozzarella sticks. This week, on the 500th episode of Doughboys, we return, once again, to Chili's. BBQ sauce. Double boys! Oh, it's the Doughboyz! Double Boyz Doughboyz! Welcome to Doughboyz, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host... Double Stuffed Wario.

The Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. That's fun. I do feel double stuffed today. Oh my god. You're telling me. And I'm about to get... I'm about to get the new cart, Wiggs. The new Mario Kart. That's right. Mario Kart World, while your Switch 2 is en route, as of this record, you're waiting for it

to arrive at your domicile. A friend of ours pre-ordered extra Switch 2s. We can shout him out. It's Henry Gilbert from Talking Simpsons, an absolute prince of a man. And he offered us Switch 2s, and you and I both said yes. And then I cursed your delivery, and now my delivery has been cursed.

You already have. Yeah, just fucking instant karma backfire. Yeah, I guess that's karma, man. You said you wanted mine to get shipped to the city dump or something like that. No, no. I said no matter what happens, just send me the better one. That's why I said that joke, because it's the same thing.

And then, and then. And then, wait, no, then I said I wanted yours to get shipped to the city. That's what it was. Yeah. And then that's what happened. And you've experienced no karma from it. No, yeah.

500 episodes. Wow, 500 episodes. Mitch, what is there to say besides, this is Sparta 500. Yay! Jesus. Was Switch 1 even out when we started the show? Yes. 2015, we launched the Doe Boys.

The entire Switch 1's run is contained within the Doe Boys podcast. How about that? 2017, the Switch comes out. 2017, the Switch comes out. Okay, so a year after we started. What came out the year we started, Mitch, two things launched. First off-

So this was using the Wii U when the show started. Wii U, we were playing the Wii U like a couple of assholes. The year we started, two things launched, Mitch. Donald Trump's presidential campaign. That's right. And Disney Star Wars. So how about that? And you know, at least one of them ended. You can't?

That may be my monkey paw wish. The Disney Star Wars trilogy. Yeah, yeah. You know what, I would happily have the Star Wars continue on if Trump was done. Hey, Mitch, speaking of milestones. Yes, Wags. Our video producer, Casey Donahue,

who has a boss of his own, wrapped his movie. Wrapped his movie. How about that? Congratulations, Casey. Whoo! Thanks, guys. You did it. Since last time you were in studio with us in the main feed, you shot a feature film that you directed. Congratulations. That's so amazing. That's all right. Thank you.

What was that like? Because you had like a, you know, it's a low-budget feature, indie feature. You had a super-compressed schedule, I know. But it seemed like what the footage that I saw, the stills that I saw looked really, really cool. Yeah, it was kind of daunting at first, trying to shoot a whole movie in 13 shooting days.

Wow. Is what I had. And I'd say like after the first day, like it became like pretty clear, like the pre-production was great. We were planning for this and everything went really well. Hell yeah. So there's one day where it rained

and we were shooting outside and that set us back half a day, but we made it up. It's kind of an incredible crew I was working with and I think we made a pretty cool movie. That's so cool. And last night, we made like a pretty cool movie last night we Just had like a couple pickups to do with Mitch and he was there for the last shot of the movie I was I was there and closing on out and you know what to quote William Hung she bangs she bangs the movie

The movie, the movies. Oh boy. Don't you, oh no, Adais. Thanks for getting the heat off of me for that 300 reference earlier. I am Sauron is on you now. It's a banger, Wigz, the movie's a banger as the kid said it. I'm very, very excited for it. That's awesome.

Can't bring up William Hung. That was my nickname for my dad. He had a big dick? Yeah. Hey, William Hung, Hung. That was my nickname for my dad. She had a big dick. Yeah. Hey, William Hung. And he's like, just call me dad. Call me Whammer. What was his name?

Whammer Sammer. Whammer Sammer. Yeah, Whammer Sammer. We talk about Whammer Sammer. He works for the LA Sheriff's Department now. He does. Wait, really? Yeah.

Wait, William Hung does? He was on Jamie Loftus' podcast 16th Minute. Wow. 16th Minute, it's a very good podcast. And she interviewed him, and he works for the LA Sheriff's Department. Oh my God. Fucking wild.

Yeah. He's a crime, he's a crime analyst for the LA County Sheriff's Department. Oh my God. My suit. One crime you should analyze, his singing voice. Oh no. You, Aisaron's gone.

Um, yes, the, you know, with the protests downtown, my Switch 2 is affected by that, which is, you know, one of the most important matters. I'm so sorry. Thank you, everyone. Are you OK? Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you can send me some thoughts and support.

Switch 2's in a UPS warehouse just because it's vaporized by a printer drone. Ha ha ha ha. It's weird that you called downtown LA the city dump earlier. Ha ha ha ha. The hell, Wags? Wait a minute.

Wags, I want to say, howdy-how to Spoon Nation, the happy 500. And uh, well, isn't that special? All righty then. Ha ha ha. We used to do those. Bring themy then. We used to do those. Bring them all back. We used to do those. I thought I would do them for the podcast.

Yes. Keep bringing back stuff we discontinued for some reason. I think I just played some. Did I ever do them myself or no? You did them yourself. I did do them myself. And then you started playing them off your phone. Then I started playing off my phone.

OK, all right. Well, I wanted to give a little- I loved it. I wanted to give a little throwback to- Alrighty, that's a very funny line. It is, he came up with that on his own, right? He had to have, a smart man. My understanding of the Ace Ventura process and as part of this, some of this I absorbed

from our Buddies of the Bike Check podcast, but was that that was another script that existed that he put a lot of Jim Carrey into. He kind of just made, it was like more of a, Pet Detective is like the joke of it. And then he more made it like, I'm gonna make this weird character on top of it. I think the I.R. Sauron is gonna split into two

and just watch both of us the entire episode, because you know, it's 500 and we're bombing, baby. Oh well. It was so exciting when we started. Amelia was dancing like the Six Flags guy. And we have hats, Wags. We do. We have hats.

We have little party hats with minions on them. How about that? I wasn't expecting any sort of spectacle here. I don't know if. I'm very nervous about putting this on my head. I'm putting my hair through it. I'm very nervous about this. Yeah, I'm definitely feeling, for audio listeners,

these are like conical birthday hats with minions on them to celebrate this milestone. It's the string that always- Does it make my head look smaller at all? Weirdly, no. Yeah. If anything, the size comparison of the head to the head makes your head look bigger.

Kind of exaggerates the mass. You look like Littleface from Dick Tracy. Before you have a littler face on your face. I do look. Who's the one that has a square, flat top. Flat top, yeah. I feel like I'm very similar to flat top too. Pruneface, because it's so scary as shit.

Yeah, Pruneface was scary as hell. And then wait, was it no faces, turns out, well, no spoilers. But it's Breathless. Breathless Mahoney. Oh, yeah. Breath scary as hell. And then wait, was it No Face, it turns out, well, no spoilers, but. It's Breathless. Breathless Mahoney. Oh, yeah. Breathless Mahoney. Yeah. Breathless Mahoney turns out to be faceless, is the, who's the guy with no face?

No Face. No Face. Wait, that's what's called No Face? Yeah, yeah. I saw that movie with my dad in theaters. Why does No Face sound wrong? You could be right. It is No Face.

It is No Face, I believe you. I know, I trust you on Dick Tracy canon, because I know this is a thing that you're really plugged into the Tracy Zooms In special. Yes. Oh, is that the extra special where you had to keep the rights to it? He did it twice.

What's the other special? They're not both Tracy Zooms In. They're Dick Tracy. First one is called Dick Tracy Special, and that's where Tracy Zooms In. And he has to do them every eight years, or 10 years, 12 years. He's just to squat on the rights.

Yeah, I love it. I think it's great. So no one else can beat Dick Tracy. Watch them on YouTube, they're really, really good. It feels like Dick Tracy needs some sort of reboot at this point, everything else is. No, they can't. He owns the rights.

Warren Beaton, he's squatting on them. He won't release them. But does he not, does he like, does he not wanna give up the rights for like, thought he just wanted to make money off of it. I think he wants to be Dick Tracy in the new Dick Tracy movie. He doesn't want anyone else to portray him. Yeah, he doesn't want anyone else to portray him.

They should make a new one with him. I think that would be great. I know he's 80-something at this point, I guess, right? Yeah. Still, I saw him not too long ago. He looked great. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When Gary Shanley passed away. OK. That's like a decade ago, maybe? Yeah, 10 years ago. All right, yeah. Well, he looked great. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When Gary Shanley passed away. OK. That's like a decade ago, maybe? Yeah, 10 years ago. All right, yeah. Well, he looked great then. Almost an entire Dick Tracy special ago. Ha ha ha ha.

Emma, let's hit him with a drop. In front of a shower stands a tall Quincy man Jacking his dick with a wet white hand Is that you? Definitely DK. Is it? It's DK. Hold on a second. Was that the whole thing? I think that sounded like DK to me. White Hand by Mitch Cave and the Sad Seeds featured in Wes Craving's Scream Come and

Comer. What? Scream Come and Comer and used in as the theme song for No Peaky Blinders. There's a lot of jokes in that sentence. Sorry Mitch, and congrats to you, Weiger, and the whole crew on 500 episodes. Cheers, DK. Wow, the drop in.

DK, was that original audio? He laid down some vocals for that. I thought it was you. I had no idea. No, I think that was DK. That was DK? What the fuck, DK? Wow. I love it was you, I had no idea. I think that was DK. That was DK? What the fuck, DK?

Wow. I love it, Wags. Thanks, DK. 500 Eps, Wags. 500 Eps. Mitch, I didn't shout out the roaster I'm realizing. Submitted this one a few times. Still think it is great.

Food and video games, it's perfect. Happy eating. That was from Paul C. Roast at birdfuck.com and drops at birdfuck.com. I, Mitch, 500 episodes, we have a great guest. The only guest we could do this episode with. I wanna introduce in one second, but I have a real quick thing,

just for my dad, because we covered Randy's Donuts with Garrett Threnholds a couple of weeks ago. And my dad texts us about it. I'll just read this. You should have told me you were doing Randy's about 50 years ago, not that long ago, because it's about my brother, he's not that old. There were a bunch of these shops with the huge donut signs

and we lived in Gardena about a block from one. This was before Nick, me, but I'd occasionally put Nate in his stroller and walk over and buy a dozen for two to three dollars. It's gone now. My dad walking over to the big donut, the big Randy's donut with my alpha brother Nate as a baby in a stroller. Alpha baby? Yeah, buying a dozen donuts for $2. How

about that? That fucking rules. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. And I love a little history of your of Alpha brother Nate. And you know what your dad and your mom they both support the podcast even though I think you would. I feel like sometimes you would rather them not even listen to it. I mean it's you know it's weird. I love it. I love that they do. Shout out to Mr. and Mrs. Wags. Yes, God bless them. And Nate, your alpha brother, Nate.

Wow, we started the podcast 10 years ago. Yeah. How do you feel, Wags? Are you ready for it to end? Bad. I don't know. How do you feel? Yeah, bad, too, I guess.

But I'm really happy that we have our guests back today. Our first ever guest on our first ever episode. And the guest on our only lost episode, Eva Anderson, is here too, I guess. But I'm really happy that we have our guests back today. Our first ever guest on our first ever episode. And the guest on our only lost episode, Eva Anderson, is here. Hi, Eva. Hi, guys. 500. 500.

500. Woo. It's so crazy. We've lost another episode before. We lost some. We lost the first half of an episode. We lost the first half of it. But the rest of that episode still went out.

So I technically don't consider it lost. But we also lost 10 years. I know. That's right. Where did they go? Jesus Christ. What happened to us? What a way to put it.

Where did our lives go? We've lost 10 years of our lives. Yeah. Jimmy, was Jimmy not was not even born 10 years ago? Probably not. We think she's about seven or eight, so. Oh, man. She's a little dog sperm.

Same with Wally and Irma, little cat crim. They didn't exist yet. How about that? That's crazy. Isn't Wally and Armando, cat crim. They didn't exist yet. How about that? That's crazy. Isn't that wild? That's crazy. New life has been created. I'm sure plenty of it.

Lots of it. Yeah. There's a little 10-year-old running around right now that wasn't there when we first started. Or so we're just like all the babies that were conceived while listening to, what, the scale? The scale? Specifically? Eva, you were in Vegas recently.

Yes, I was in Vegas. I just wrapped up working on this Apple show, and we shot the last four days in Las Vegas. And I wanted to tell you guys that I was walking around... Well, first of all, there was a whole new Guy Fieri restaurant I hadn't even known about. Wow. That it's a sports bar in Kitchen that's inside of Caesar's Palace. Do you remember what it's called?

Guy's Sports Bar and Kitchen. Also, there was like a standee of Guy. That's fun. And he got skinny. Guy's skinny? Guy's skinny, interesting. That's not fun. He's slim.

And then... He wasn't always the biggest guy. Like, you know, he did, there's maybe a little bit of a belly on him. But he was kind of a guy that, you know, you felt like you could grab his shoulders and mess around a little bit. Yeah, streamlined.

But then there's a Jimmy Kimmel comedy club that's kind of behind the link. And I went in there to get a drink and I was talking to the bartender and she was like, I was asking her like, what are the good comedians? And she was telling me some names of people I just never heard of, but they're really funny.

They come in from out of town. And then I walked up to the front to be like, oh, look at the schedule of who's there every day. And these people and woman that she had mentioned were there and then like Wednesday, Thursday, every single week, Carlos Mencia. Wow. Headlines this comedy club. As a residency at the Kimmel in Vegas.

Yeah. Wow. It was wild. That's crazy. I didn't know what he was up to. Yeah, I guess he's doing that. And then I was thinking about the person who got him in trouble, do you remember who it was?

Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan and how those two men's lives have diverged. Yeah. Or one of them is the most powerful person on the planet. Yes. And the other one is just performing at this comedy club in an alley in Las Vegas. Right. Dear God.

On not the Marquis nights. Not, yeah, Wednesday, Thursday. Wow. So anyway, that blew my mind. That is great. I remember when he like took Mencia down, I like, I was like, that's cool that Rogan did. I was like, I liked, I liked.

And he took him down over stealing jokes from Louis CK. Wasn't that what it was? It was Ari. Or Ari, I have no idea. I think he stole from like multiple people. Yeah, he stole from a couple people. That was it. But it was, that was just blew my mind.

Wow. Guy Fieri only makes trash can nachos now. Every different place, they used to be a bunch of different types of nachos in the various restaurants. They all are just variations on trash can nachos, which is fine. Yeah, I mean, like as an exercise in branding, it's like donkey sauce, trash can nachos sits with you.

Chicken guy, yeah, I get it, I get it. The Italian, the Guy Talian nachos at the New York Times Square weren't the best. Yeah. And also Guy Talian, I feel like, is kind of a straight portmanteau. You think so? Wasabi nachos that used to be

at the Las Vegas Kitchen, pretty good, but now you just get trash can, that's all you get. Anyway. Is that Times Square one still around? No, no one closed years ago. No one closed years ago. I think it closed like right after you guys went. You think you closed it.

Same might be true for the Planet Hollywood we just recently went to. You know what's still open also, and I just, I wanted to go into but it didn't time out? Heart Attack Grill. Wow. That place is still hanging out. It's still there, yeah.

And it still has a big scale you have to step on to go inside, and they give you a hospital gown. What is the threshold for a free meal now? Because I know they raised it at a certain point. I don't know. I think it used to be 300 pounds or 350 pounds, and now I think it's like 400 plus. That makes me feel better.

Yeah. But. Ugh, they've gone woke. Yeah. But. Oh, they've gone woke. So they're actually trying to get you to have a heart attack while you're there? That's like the joke of it. I think so, yeah. And then didn't someone actually have a heart attack there?

Yeah, people have died as a heart attack girl. There were people, the waitresses are dressed like doctors. Right, yeah. And then you're dressed like a patient. And then everything has like, everything's fried in like beef tallow and stuff. Which is better than seed oils, yeah. And then you're just like a patient. And then everything has like, everything's fried in like beef tallow and stuff. Which is better than seed oils, man. So there's like a kind of like a horny aspect to it too,

right, like a little bit. Yeah, gross. Anyway. I wanna try, I mean we never- I mean we should do an episode on it probably. We were talking about doing Chili's 2, 2 at one point. Yes, which we did in Vegas. I think we've never done Vegas proper,

but we could do things like we could do the Guy Fieri Sports Bar. We could certainly do the Heart Attack Grill. I'm really interested in that Taylor Sheridan steakhouse. Oh, yeah. And then, I think that's, isn't that where the fucking awful Netflix restaurant is? Yes.

So, I mean, it's probably a thing we should cover. There's multiple Vanderpump restaurants. Right, yeah. That's a world that is completely a black box to me. I don't know There's multiple Vanderpump restaurants. Right, yeah. That's a world that is completely a black box to me. I don't know anything about the Vanderpumps and I know some people, it's like they're obsessed with it. Another weird update, I don't know if, because you guys know on another podcast, I covered the Chris Angel restaurant, Ka Blip.

Oh yeah, oh right. And one of the things about that place is that when he opened it, he had to close right away because there wasn't enough refrigeration. And so there's these giant mobile refrigerators that take up most of the parking lot. Oh my God. When you go and you notice it. Your food is just sitting out in a refrigerator in the parking lot? Yes.

But then, Chris Angel was having a warehouse sale while I was there and John Daly, the very funny actor and comedian, was there as well. And so I didn't get it in time, but John went to the warehouse sale. Where he was selling a bunch of, like, magic props and curtains and lights and stuff from his show, Mystica, that closed.

But he was selling the two refrigerators from Ka-Blep. Which means nothing is being refrigerated properly at that restaurant. That's insane. That's fucking crazy. Remind us what Ka-Blipp stands for. It's Criss Angel. Breakfast, lunch, and pizza.

Right. The three meals. Ka-Blipp. Yeah. He's also making his own Italian ice now, and he seems to have cut out Mike Gambusa, who used to be the ice mastermind iceologist. He's not on the website anymore.

And now Chris has a commercial for his own Italian ice, which he says has a magic trick in every single one, a QR code to the bottom. But then when you click how where to buy, it says coming soon. So you can't buy it anywhere. And he made a whole commercial for it. I don't know what he's doing. then when you click how where to buy, it says coming soon. So you can't buy it anywhere. And he made a whole commercial for it.

I don't know what he's doing. What I don't understand is that, and I think this is the original sin of Kblip is that opening at what, a 45 minute drive outside of Vegas? Hour and 15 minutes. Hour and 15 minutes. The map on the website is a lie.

And that's just like kind of, cause that's where he lives, right? No. It's not? No, he doesn't lie and and that's just like kind of cuz that's where he lives right? No, it's not no He doesn't live there It's just out. I think I have theories about why it's that far out Just you guys remember that car wash and braking bad. Yes. Okay. Anyway But it's it's so hard to get to one time I had to take a cab there and it cost $300. Jesus Christ.

$300 to go to Ka-blip. And I had to give the guy cash up front to prove that I had it. Oh my God. Or else he would not take me from the strip to Ka-blip. But I mean, the thing is like you go around the strip or even just like a little bit out off strip. Like there's so many like vacant, like, you know,

storefronts where it like, if you had a Chris Angel themed restaurant in Vegas proper, he's enough of a draw, enough of a name where people would be like, oh yeah, let's go check out the Chris Angel restaurant just for the novelty of it. Instead it's this thing where you have to make this, this exodus to get there. He bought and took over the only restaurant in town,

which was called Sugar's. This is in Overton, Nevada. And infuriated the locals by making it into a magic themed, a Chris Angel themed restaurant. And when you're there, the woman who works there keeps, is like, we just keep telling people, Sugar's is not coming back. So stop asking.

Some like 70 year old man who's lived there his whole life and would go there for like a stack of flapjacks and a cup of coffee to one of his only joys. Now you have to go... You have to go look at photos of Criss Angel on all the walls. And there's a weird, creepy animatronic hanging from the ceiling of one room where he's in a straightjacket and his eyes are shifting back and forth.

Oh, my God. People have no shame. We've talked about this. But it is fun. Like, that can't, that has to, it must be losing. That place must be losing. Well, he's selling the refrigerators. Yeah.

So he does, I don't know what's going on. Anyway, that was my update. We're just patched from Vegas. That I, but I do love that. This is the kind of thing though, like, I find that so much more interesting than, like, being in an ad for a phone, you know, which Chris Angel could also do, and maybe he will do at some point.

Because it's just like, oh, that's just old-school, eccentric celebrity crazy. Just like, there's no reason for you to have this money-losing restaurant in this remote part of Nevada. Like, this is a completely dumb thing. Act a pure self-indulgent hubris, which is kind of fun in a sense. Or a completely dumb thing. Act of pure self-indulgent hubris,

which is kind of fun in a sense. Or a way to launder charity money. Yeah, it could be that too. Allegedly. Allegedly. And people are just always trying to cash. Whatever, cash in. It's a sad thing.

But anyways, the Doughboy's 10-year anniversary shirt is now available, Wags. That's right. Check it out. Kinshipgoods.com. We do have a 10-year anniversary shirt is now available, Wikes. That's right. Check it out, kinshipgoods.com. We do have a 10-year shirt that is available. It's a burger and a spoon. It's a nice little design.

It makes a 10. It's a great design. Thank you, kinship. Yeah. I just was a, but also I just want to quickly say, Carlos Mencia seems the best of all the people of that time. Joe Rogan, Louis CK, and Dane Cook, Dane Cook was the one who stole, I guess, from Louis CK.

But Carlos Mencia seems like the best man of the bunch. Man, I don't, boy, I don't know if I wanna go out and, why bother? Why bother trying to litigate this? You know what, it's a good point, I don't know what Carlos Mencia has done. Didn't you, on the what, it's a good point. I don't know what Carle was supposed to do. It's done. Didn't you on the podcast defend Jared Fogle before he got in trouble?

No, I hated Jared Fogle. You're thinking of me and after. No, Mitch actually weirdly said Jared Fogle's a weird guy and maybe even called him a pedophile and a weird bit of soothsaying before the allegations surfaced. Yeah. It's almost like he knew too much information. and maybe even called him a pedophile. I think I did. A weird bit of sooth saying before the allegations surfaced. Yeah, yeah. It's almost like he knew too much information.

I did not see him on the same boards or anything like that. There was nothing going on there. You were going to his Indiana University dorm room to rent porno? You were hiding in the big pants? I never hid in the pants. I've never seen the pants. I've never seen the pants at all.

You know that he had his own porno collection that he rented out of his dorm room, right? Oh, of course I know about this. It's so funny. Dudes would come to him to get good porn from Jared. He was a fucking freak. He was a little fucking freak that lazily ate Subway for his only meal.

And I was like, hey, I'm losing weight from doing this. He sucks. I hate Jared. His biggest sin is being a fat guy, sellout. Wait, we're talking about your, because you're, while we're on your travel log, you were telling us you recently had an encounter with the aforementioned Drop King in the wild. So fucking weird.

So I, the immersive show that you guys came to in LA called Shape of the Night, we had a run. Thank you. We had a run in Seattle at this place called the Steam Plant, which is like a decommissioned power plant from 1902. And it was really cool. They let us take over the entire building,

and it was like three stories of just like industrial spaces. But I had like a sonic level Steam Plant. But I- Sounds like a Sonic level, Steam Plant Zone. It was, it did feel like a video game. Wow. Like a, like you're in like a, like a CDI. Yeah. Phillips Magnavox CD-ROM game or something. The way it was all lit.

But anyway, I created this new character who is the guy, the keeper of the history of the plant. And he was kind of like a foreman. And he played with this actor, MJ Sieber, who's awesome. But anyway, he wanted a pocket watch and I was up there for the weekend helping get the show together before I had to come back and do the job here. And so I was like, I'll go find you a pocket watch and someone suggested this antique mall in another part of Seattle. So I took like an Uber out to this antique mall and I was like looking for

it on the street and then just like someone screamed my name out to this antique mall. And I was, like, looking for it on the street, and then just, like, someone screamed my name out of a car, and it was DK. Just on the street. DK. He's like, I'm the drop king! And I was like, oh, my God. And then he had Fish in the back of his car. Wow.

I never met. So I got to meet. I just was like, hey, guys. This is very strange. And, uh, that was it I just was like, hey guys, this is very strange. And that was it. They're like, bye. We had, Emma and I had a moment the other day where we finished an episode and we walked outside

and DK was just in the parking lot of Head Gum. And we were like, DK, what the hell? He's like, I didn't know you guys were recording today. So he pulled up. DK, is everything OK? Between the drop and all of this information, we're nervous about you. We love you, DK. Thank you for being a part of that 500 years

and still being a part of it. 500 years? 500 years, Jesus Christ, Mitch. It feels like 500 years. No, we've lost 10 years of our lives. Not 500. Imagine though if we find the singularity at some point in our lifespans

and like this self replicating AI or whatever the fuck like figures out how to iterate and figures out how to make us like live for centuries. The basilisk. Imagine that happens. Yeah, yeah. Like we could conceivably be doing this podcast for 500 years if it continues to be a source of income.

I just feel like we'll be so confused. We walked in here. But isn't that a thing of just like, oh man, wow, you could live for centuries. And then you're just like, wait, I just have a job? You're just gonna keep having a fucking job? Yeah, what's up? This is like the purgatory.

Yeah, exactly, this just never ends? Yeah. Yeah, I guess death is some sort of nice release, I guess. Yes, yeah. Although there would be the new video game systems you could keep getting, it seems nice. Wow, that's a great point. I didn't think about that.

How far video games have advanced even in our lifetime. But maybe in heaven or maybe there's an afterlife, maybe you can get any console in heaven, I guess. What if in heaven you're locked into whatever the last console was when you died? Oh my God. Oh boy. That's so boring.

And do they stop making games for us? Yeah, they stop making games. So you just got, you have an existing library. And then God's like, you think that's bad? And he has a cup and ball. That's when God died is when the cup and ball was around. God died in the depression? Yeah, I don't know.

No matter what happens, if we celebrate 500 years, we came in here and everyone was clapping for us and I thought they were doing an elaborate bit. I had no idea what was going on. The entire office was clapping. The entire office was clapping. We walked into Head Gum, everyone, weirdly people are here, they're all clapping.

Yes. Yeah, I didn't know, I thought it was a bit. I had no idea that it was about 500 years. I knew what it was. Oh my God. I had no idea, I didn't get that it was 500. We didn't talk about it at all at where we just were. Yeah, we didn't.

I did eventually. I was like, oh, the 500th episode. Like, I said that to them before I went in here. Wags did not address it. I think he came in here directly. Eva, I want to say, you were traveling. I was also traveling, Wags. I was down in Dubai.

That's right. I was down in Dubai. And's right. I was down in Dubai. And I played, I stayed at this great hotel. It was called the no gators inn. It was like the super nice hotel. And I was there and I was about to go outside the hotel. And I see this guy standing there, this Irish gentleman. Okay. And he has a fiddle and he's like, Hey there, why don't you invite me into your hotel?

And I was like, wait a minute. And I was like, I've seen sinners. Yeah, right, right. I've seen sinners and I know that like, look, I don't agree with its oral sex stance, sinners, but it taught me a few things about inviting things in. I said, you're a vampire, I'm not going to invite you into the hotel.

And he's like, do you have a clove of garlic? And I said, well, actually, I do. And I did have a clove of garlic. And he's like, just for snacking and stuff like that. Sure. I believe that. And he was like, well, here, I'll prove to you I'm not a vampire. He ate the whole clove of garlic.

And I was like, OK. And he came in. So that's enough for you to be like, all right, I can invite this guy. He's not fucking driving. I can invite this guy in. And then he was like, and, and he came in. And, uh... So that's enough for you to be like, all right, I can invite this guy. He's not fucking... I can invite this guy in. Yeah, sure. And then he was like, and he had his fiddle

and he was like, how about I make a little wager with you? And I said, okay. He said, I'll make a little wager with you if I can play my fiddle. So great, you love it so much, you suck me off. And I said, I don't know. And he said, well, if I don't play it up to your liking,

I'll suck you off. And I said, okay, but that's fair. Yeah. So he plays this fiddle and he said, well, if I don't play it up to your liking, I'll suck you off. And I said, okay, that's fair. Yeah. So he plays this fiddle, and he's playing away, and it is fantastic. He does a great job. He's done. And I say, you know what? You're right. I was impressed.

I'm going to suck you off. So I get down on him. You're on the sky. I get down on my knees. I go, I start sucking him off. Yeah, sure. Between his legs, I see a tail. I see a tail between his legs and I say, wait a minute.

The only thing Irish about you is that you're green. You're a gator. And you know what he said to Ike? What's that? He said, I ain't a gator. I'm a gampire. I said I... laughter

laughter laughter laughter Yes, this is good. This is good. Mike, zoom in on the gator's face here please. Just zoom in on the gator. I'm a gampire. Some call me a vampta. A gator vampire.

And now you're under my curse, and you can suck me off whenever you'd like. Whenever you'd like. Wait, so it's a curse? Oh, sorry. You can suck me off whenever I'd like. OK. And that's the end of my Bayou story.

I want to introduce this little gator head to the episode, Wags. Wow. Yay. Jemmy liked it. Yeah. So for our audio listeners, you're maybe a little baffled.

Mitch has a piece of like a plastic spire attached to a gator jaw that animates open and closed as you pull a trigger. Did you get that in New Orleans? I got it in New Orleans. Cool. And I did get it kind of for Fran's birthday. So I tried to come up with a Gator story,

which was very bad. This is a new character you were talking about? This was my new character. Also, I gotta say, the story doesn't, I love this. He was smooching the Gator. I truly love this. He was smooching the Gator. I truly love this. He ha ha ha ha ha ha.

He loves it too, his face after it, he's loving it. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Woo. Woo. Also, I gotta say, he's white. He is white. He is white. Yeah, wow. Yeah, where did, wait. So the green story, part of the story

doesn't even really make sense. You picked this up at a novelty shop? Yeah, and I Yeah, wait, where did you... So the green story, part of the story doesn't even really make sense. You picked this up at a novelty shop? Yeah, and I was gonna ask Amelia to tape white teeth to it for like a vampire teeth, but then I thought that the story won't be funny anyways, and it's gonna be embarrassing. I didn't even think about him having a Dracula fangs on top of having gator teeth.

Yeah. I guess they probably should have that. He is an albino alligator, like the movie directed by Kevin Spacey. Yes, that's right. Oh my God. So this is a Kevin Spacey reference, this toy. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It was supposed to be our 500th guess, but. Mm. Whoa. Yeah. Wait, how many, was it just albino alligator in the Bobby Darin movie?

Did he direct anything else? Down the sea. I believe that's true. I mean, look, it is fun talking with his head. He appeared in some short films. One where he plays a ventriloquist. Another one where he's a dentist for pirates. And a third one where he is an immigrant from Russia.

Wait, is this real? Yeah. Yeah, I've watched all of them. Yeah, his only directorial credits are Albino. Yeah, I've watched all of them. Yeah, his only directorial credits are Albino Alligator, 1996, and Beyond the Sea in 2004, where he plays Bobby Darin, who died, I think, at age 27. But he plays... But he's like 48 when he's acting in the movie.

Yeah, it's real funny. Yeah. And he's talked to a child version of himself too, where he's like, Bobby, it's, I'm you as a child. And they tap dance together. A lot, Bobby, it's, I'm you as a child. And they tap dance together. A lot of fun. He's coming back. He'll be back.

He's back already. He never left. Do you think Jemmy will care at all about this? A hard day at Jemmy. She is slightly scared by it, I will say. She's probably unsure. She's like, what the fuck? Is it talking? Is it moving? Is it alive? That's a great question. Wiggs, what do you think? Would you like adding this to the background here,

that might, our gator front? What are you doing? Yeah, if we can find a spot for him, why not add it to the tableau? All right, so it's gonna throw, we'll throw it away. You could probably wedge the stick between the cushions on your chair

and his head'll just like float there. Oh, that's pretty good. I like that. Yeah, there you go. Wiggs, are you looking up Kevin Spacey facts? Yeah, I'm still buried in Kevin Spacey's IMDB. He has an upcoming film, apparently in post-production that he directed called Holly Guards?

In a divided future, ancient Holly Guards and Stadigards fight secretly for humanity. A woman discovers she's born to rival leaders at a Stadigard, plans to attack Paris and unleash the Prime. So, sounds like a little sci-fi. Stars Kevin Spacey, Eric Roberts, and Dolph Lundgren. What a cast.

That's a great cast. Yeah, for 1995. LAUGHS That's my dream cast. I want to get in a movie with those guys. How do we feel? It was Gampire. Look, I can't break down the bit. Gampire. Gampire was pretty good. I didn't know if movie with those guys. How do we feel? It was Gampire. Look, I can't break down the bit. Gampire.

Gampire? Gampire was pretty good. I didn't know if I should, I saw I just used both. Vampter or Gampire? What do you think is better? Yeah, Vampter. I'm trying to think, is there some alligator? Oh, like a Dracula?

Dracula-gator or something like that? Dracula-gator. Draligator? Yeah, fuck, whatever. Look, it's passed. It's perfect. It was perfect, thank you. Thank you, Eva.

And you know what? Wags, we actually, this is today, we went to Chili's twice, Wags. Vampino alligator? Okay. Dracodile? Dracodile was pretty good. Dracodile.

Dracodile. It's not a crocodile, but it still kind of works. Yeah, dracodile was probably better. Dracodile? Dracodile is pretty good, but it's not a crocodile, but it still kind of works. Yeah, Dracodile is probably better. Dracodile is pretty good. Look, anyways, we don't have to break down the bit anymore. I fucked up. Do you remember the Chocodiles? Do you remember the Chocodile?

Those are real good. What were they, were they ice cream or were they? No, they were basically a Twinkie that was chocolate covered. Oh, right, yes, I had. And they've rebranded them as something else, but they used to be called Chocodiles and they were a lot of fun. Oh, right. Yes, I had. And they've rebranded them as something else, but they used to be called Chocodiles and they were a lot of fun.

Oh, right. Maybe I had the version of those that was the later version, like after that. But Wags, we went, this is such a big episode. We went twice for today's, for two, what's going on? There's not a lot of letters in common between vampire and alligator. Jesus Christ, I know.

So it's kind of tricky to craft. Yeah, so, so, gampire is fine. Gampire's fine. Wags, have you heard of Gold Belly? It's this amazing site that I order from all the time where you can get the most iconic, famous foods from restaurants all across the US, and they will ship it to you free to your door

anywhere in the country. Wow. Mitch, you know I love Ina Garten and her husband, Jeffrey. I love their show. And Ina Garten has a coconut cake, which caught my eye, which we ordered, which we sampled, and was a delight. Well, I guess you know what caught my eye?

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Wags I got back from to buy you yesterday. Mm-hmm. You know what happened when I walked in the door? What's that? Wally normal were meowing up a storm for me. It was the cutest funniest little thing. I saw orbs I loved it. Yeah, and you know And you know why I named Wally Wally? I do know why, but you tell everyone. For my Quincy, Massachusetts, I live in the part of town I live in is called Walliston, and my mom suggested as a name, and Irma was a character my sister used to do,

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We went to the restaurant twice, Wags. It was such a big episode. We went to the restaurant twice, Wags. It was such a big episode, we went twice. That's right. We're returning to Chili's, which was founded in Dallas in 1975. The first chain reviewed on our very first episode. We also returned in 2019 with Eva to review the airport Chili's 2 for our 200th episode. So that was a milestone 300 episodes ago. And in 2020, Mitch, during the pandemic,

this was our other canonical Chili's review. We went with our buddy wrestler Joey Janela. Oh, right, yeah. And it had it, Chili's were revisiting partly because it was our first episode, but partly because it had a recent resurgence on social media because of nostalgia and also value. Kind of the flashpoint for this was apparently

TikTokker Dylan McArthur and started doing these triple dipper and mukbangs that went viral and a bunch of other influencers started going to Chili's, making Chili's content. The Encino location, in fact, where we dined in at is where Chili's corporate social media shoots their own TikToks. So they make their content from the Encino one where we went to originally. And so it's basically, it's the mozzarella sticks that have gone viral, right?

It's the mozzarella sticks as part of the triple dipper, which is the appetizer sampler platter. Isn't it so much about the cheese pull though? Yeah, I mean, I think the cheese pull is a big part of it, yes. So a mukbang of, it's like a 3,500 calorie meal, right? If you just eat the appetizer, triple dipper, maybe more.

Yeah. If you're taking that home motherfucker to the dome, yeah, for sure. That is, that is a, a, a day's worth of caloric and change of caloric input. I got a question for you. Yeah. Who do you think the first cheese influencer was?

There's Urkel as an option. Urkel. Urkel did like cheese. Mickey Mouse? Yeah, that's what I almost, I feel like you gotta get older than that. Did Mickey Mouse love cheese? He must have loved cheese at some point.

I feel like Tom or Jerry, whichever one is, Jerry. Yeah, Jerry, the mouse, yeah. He likes cheese. He's always like running with a wedge of it over his head. Yeah. I don't know if Mickey likes cheese. But just by being a famous rat, it's like, hey, this- He's a mouse, not a rat.

He's a mouse, yeah, what the hell? What the fuck? Whatever. What do you mean, whatever? He's crazy. He's very much a mouse. Yeah, he's a mouse. Yeah.

Cheese influencer. But you have that association that he's gonna like cheese. Yeah. I don't know, it's a great question, Mitch, and it's a bit of a stumper. Yeah, I wonder if it is. I mean, Urkel was big, and I think some sort of cat great question, Mitch, and it's a bit of a stumper. Yeah, I wonder if it is. I wonder, I mean, Urkel was big,

and I think some sort of like a mouse character. Like I think you might be right that it is just Jerry is the first cheese. Jerry, cheese influencer. Cheese influencer. I feel like there's some like character from like literature or something that was a famous like cheese.

Sure, Scrooge or something, was he eating? Well, I don't know if it was Scrooge specifically, but that kind of, I feel like there was some sort of maybe Gourmand or just someone who was a cheese fan. Yeah, who's someone who really likes cheese and like an old, like, does, like some boring ass Victorian guy. Some Bridgerton fuck.

Yeah. Who would that be? I just, I'm Googling, did Scrooge like cheese? No, he likes goose, he likes roast goose. Yeah, I think that's more, you know what, that's what it is. It's like you think of like the old rich guy affectations. There were things like pheasant under glass or whatever. But like who likes to smell smelly cheese? That's, there are definitely characters like that.

By the way, Scrooge did like cheese. He did? He like, what is it, on what authority are you? When he sees Jacob Marley, he says, you may be an undigested bit of beef, but you Scrooge did like cheese. He did? He like... What is it? On what authority are you... When he sees Jacob Marley, he says, he says, you may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese. So he does say cheese, though he is only saying he ate a crumb of cheese. So...

Yeah. How is that evidence that he liked cheese? It seems like he liked cheese. It's like he referenced cheese in the sentence. It seems like he liked cheese. I don't know about that. Oh, this is kind of crazy. Okay, AI overview. The first thing they say is Jerry.

Wow. Wow. It's Jerry. But this is a good one and this is what I was thinking of, Wallace. Oh, Wallace from Wallace and Gromit. I think it's Wallace. It's like there's a British guy that really likes cheese. That's the answer. That's the answer.

Because he's so cheese-focused. Yes, yeah, that's good that really likes cheese. That's the answer. That's the answer. Because he's so cheese-focused. Yes, yeah, that's good. He likes cheese more than grommet. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Chili's has, there's a bunch of pieces about how Chili's made a comeback. There's a lot of this, Kevin Hockman,

the CEO of Chili's parent company, Brinker International, is kind of like focused in their strategy a little bit more on following these social media trends, but also, or capitalizing rather on their social media cache, and then also leaning into value. For instance, the Chili's 3 for Me meal, which is what I got today at the the Monrovia location we went to for lunch is the same price range as a fast food combo. And they've done a lot of marketing about that. He seems to get it that

guy. He seems to get it from a 2024 CNBC piece about this quote same store sales a key metric in the restaurant industry jumped 14.8% in its fiscal fourth quarter. So it is on a bit of an upswing. And we went twice like you were saying, Mitch, we went to the Encino location for dinner nearly two months ago, on April 14, when we were originally going to record this episode, we're now recording on June 12th. We had to shuffle some things around.

So as such, instead of just operating on that memory, but we will talk about it, we also went again for lunch to the Monrovia location. So both of these kind of in LA excerpts, a little bit removed from the city limits, because there is not a Chili's in LA proper, unfortunately. And I feel like this is a thing I would like to say. There should be like a Chili's in Times Square. Why not? There should be like a Chili's in LA proper, unfortunately. And I feel like this is a thing I would like to say.

There should be like a Chili's in Times Square, why not? There should be like a Chili's on Hollywood Boulevard, like have some Chili's in big touristy areas now, because this is becoming a thing again. Especially because it's gotten kind of good. Yeah, sure. And especially that Tarzana location, really it's like, it felt like a cool, we talked about it like,

it felt like a cool gastropub from 10 years ago. 100%. But it had nice vibes, it was packed with families and just people after, like, work, getting a drink. Pretty packed for a weekday lunch today as well. Yeah, like both times, it was like, I don't know. Today was, I was shocked by how packed it was when we walked in the door there. It was not a full house, times it was like, I don't know. Today was, I was shocked by how packed it was

when we walked in the door there. It was not a full house, but it was, it was popping. There were a lot of people and it swelled even more during the time we were dining there. And it's the same one we went to 10 years ago. At the time, I think 10 years ago, kind of gross. They've upgraded it a bit. No, they've redone the interior,

except there is one fixture that, at the time, we thought was like a harbinger of sorrow. They had the Ziosk tablets, the pay stations that are on each table. I was like, man, this is a bummer. And they've somehow survived. The Ziosks are bad. I mean, they're thriving. They've never gone away.

But the thing is, like, they're basically just for one function now. They're just there for you to pay at the end of your meal, which I kind of don't even understand, but maybe it was just sort of is, like, they're basically just for one function now. They're just there for you to pay at the end of your meal, which I kind of don't even understand, but maybe it was just sort of like a point. Well, we were sitting there like dummies waiting for us to, we were waiting to check out, and we didn't realize we could just check out on the Ziosk.

You could just check out on the Ziosk. But other than that, you're dealing with human servers, like, as much as you ever were, as much as you would be at any restaurant. But it seemed like back when we went originally, back in 2015, they were trying to direct us to order on the Ziosk, because they were trying to hopefully go in that,

they were, I guess, aiming to go in that direction. Yeah, I don't like that kind of service where you order everything and pay on your phone, and then they just like drop, someone silently drops your food to you. I don't like that. I don't like that either. There's a chain of sports bars in LA, 33 taps,

there's one of Stone's Throw from Head Gum. And their whole thing is scan on a QR code, order on your phone. You never talk to a server, and then someone brings it to you. Now it's a bar, so we can kind of understand. That's like a more efficient way to do it. But it is, I don't know, to me it takes away some of the fun of going out.

Yeah, it's impersonal. And it also just takes away the potential for those people to make a tip because they're talking to you and creating a relationship with you. It's just like a lot of it. It takes away some of the more fun parts of working food service, like in my experience, pulling a chair out from under a woman

while she's sitting down and she falls on the floor. That's in the CPK episode. She's holding a baby and she falls on the floor, and then your boss lies to her and defends you, and then he gets fired and then you quit. Oh my God. You didn't get fired because of that, did you? No, he got fired for showing up drunk.

Oh, right. Smoking a cigarette. I'm trying to remember, because you told us some CBK tales, and again, thank you for your service, but like, was there, am I misremembering that there was a guy jacking off there? No, it was the waitress, it was the hostess that was, that when she quit, I found out, even though I've been standing next to her the whole time,

that her entire purse was full of like tiny lubes and she would offer to jack every single person off. What? After, like, it's like... I talked about this on the podcast. But staff? All the bus boys and all the kitchen staff. And she'd be like, and she never mentioned it to me, but she told every single person

in the restaurant about it. They were like all sick of hearing about it. And I was like, what? And she just was like silent, would stare at me and then like stare at the wall. And I was like, and then I got offended that she wouldn't tell me about it. But they called her the hand job hostess. How many... I'd forgotten the depraved details of this,

but like how many, do we have a count of how many, like workers there said yes to this arrangement? Um, I don't know. Or, right, because I feel like that's also a thing where someone could just be offering that and everyone just saying no, because like this person's insane. Based on restaurant kitchens that I worked in,

I'm gonna guess most of them said yes. Yeah, they're like, yeah, why not? Who cares? They go to the parking garage, do it, then they go back to work. I'm gonna, I'm filling out an application online for CPK. The Cyclops from Homer's Odyssey liked cheese. I'm gonna, I'm filling out an application online for CPK. LAUGHS The Cyclops from Homer's Odyssey liked cheese.

Interesting. The Cyclops liked cheese. That's what I said. Also, I put in, I was writing, is Scrooge, and then it's autofilled to, is Scrooge McDuck dead? I don't know why it's, I don't know why it's, I don't know why, is there a thing? Is he canonically dead?

Did they kill him or something? There are, there are DuckTales comics. Does he die in the last DuckTales kill him or something? There are DuckTales comics, so I don't know. Does he die in The Last DuckTales? He maybe dies in The Last DuckTales, but that came up there too. That is, I mean, that's an ins... Wait, will you autofill that and hit search? Sure, yep.

We gotta find out if Scrooge McDuck is dead. It's Scrooge McDuck. Okay, so now a lot of things are coming up. Okay. Is Scrooge McDuck, okay, so now a lot of things are coming up. Is Scrooge McDuck immortal? What's happening? Pick a lane, guys. Is Scrooge McDuck Scottish? All right, you fucking idiot.

Oh, here we go. Scrooge McDuck gay, Scrooge McDuck a Zionist. Is he my dad? Oh, according to Don Rosa's unofficial timeline, Scrooge McDuck died at the age of 100 years after a life of adventure. So Scrooge McDuck, canonically, I guess is dead. Jesus.

Yeah. I don't like that. Poor Scrooge. Okay, well. A good life, rest in peace, Scrooge. So that means Huey, Dewey, and Louie like age, like they became adults at a certain point in this canon. I guess so.

Yeah, they're probably dead too, I guess. Yeah, they're all dead. Yeah, he's 100, yeah. Maybe Huey, Dewey, and Louie died over the course of the 10 years of Doughboys, who knows? Well, he is their great uncle, though, right? Are Huey, Dewey, and Louie dead? They're ducks.

I don't think ducks live super long, right? It's really sad to think about the last surviving triplet going to his brother's graves. What the fuck? How? Oh, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Dewey is like... I just thought that was about a year of walking dead

and Dewey's there grooving. No, Huey, Dewey, and Louie Duck are not dead. They are fictional characters. That's not what I just heard. Created by Disney and continued to be featured in various Disney media. While their parents are not mentioned in the story, they are alive. The parents are alive.

OK, so Scrooge's niece and nephew, I guess, are alive. They are not orphans. OK. All right. OK. Yeah, being your last triplet to die, Wags, is sad. I guess you could say. It's got to be one of them.

So we went to the Encino location. We went for dinner. I got a watermelon lemonade. Mitch, I think you got the Patron strawberry margarita, is that correct? I did, yeah. I got frozen. You got a skinny Marg.

Yeah. And we also were charged for a Zios game pass, which we'll get into. We were? Yes. Wait, today? No, not today. But that is a whole other thing, Mitch, which we'll get into. We were? Yes. Wait, today? No, not today. But that is a whole other thing, Mitch,

which we will also get into. That almost happened. We will get into that too. How much is a Ziosk game pass? I think it's like a dollar. OK. But I think it's a thing. Wait, what?

It costs money to play games on the Ziosk, I guess. Did we play a game? You did today. You picked the most curious cat. I will just. Let's just say it. Hold on a second. This is insane. This is all insane. So you pay.

You pay. The Ziosk is like a tablet that is on a stand that is on each table at Chili's. If you've been to a Chili's, you've seen this. We asked to pay today. The server was like, oh, yeah, you can close out on the Ziosk. Go ahead and hand me that. It's by Mitch.

Mitch grabs it. And as he's going to hand it to the server, There's a trivia question. He starts playing the cat quiz on the Ziosk. And then the guy's like, oh, I got to exit out of this. Sorry, because you're going to get charged for a game pass. It was like a whole thing. He tried to save me quickly.

And I'll tell you what the question was. It says, Calico cats are known for being. And it said, like, cats are known for being, and it said like, oh, male, something, something. And then, lucky, and I pressed lucky, which is clearly not right. And that guy was quickly like, oh, I'm, but. Sir, sir.

But to me, that is insane if you just push the screen and it charges you to play the fucking game without being like. I guess so, yeah. How many kids have accidentally charged their parents for games that they had no idea? That's fucking crazy. That's wild. My guess is this is the kind of thing that corporate put in that is just like

a massive inconvenience for people working there because yeah, kids are always doing it and then parents are complaining about it and then the manager's having to come over and go through some rigamarole to take it off their belt. I gotta tell you, first of all, the first time I went to Chili's was a while back now, and I don't remember too much from the dinner.

I have the full list, so we can go through it real quick. But in my mind, we didn't bring up this game thing, did we? Like, that didn't come up afterwards. No. I don't think I played any games. I don't remember doing anything in the Ziaspion game. To me, it seems a leak. I got to take this fucking hat off.

You bailing on the hat? I got to bail on it. It's just hurting my head. I gotta take this fucking hat off. You bailing on the hat? I gotta bail, it's just hurting my head. The string really digs in. The string is hurting. It really does, yeah, I keep pulling it. I'm gonna bail at a certain point. Just pushing, seeing a thing and then pushing it and getting charged, it seems illegal.

It seems insane to me, whatever. It just seems insane to me. It's so me, whatever. It just seems, it seems insane to me. So to eat it, whatever. You tried to balance the hat on top of your Celtics hat and it didn't work. Sandstrain for a second, immediately fell off. Immediately fell off. All right, let me go through the list of what we got from Encino.

We got a triple dipper. We got the boneless wings with buffalo. We got the Nashville hot mozzarella sticks. We got the Southwestern egg rolls as our triple dipper. We also got the dip trio, which is a difference triforce of apps, which is a corn tostada tortilla chips with skillet beef queso, white queso, fresh salsa, fresh guacamole, your house-made ranch.

You get three of those five. We went with the salsa de guac and the white queso, which I believe is a server rack. I got the quesadilla explosion salad. Mitch, you got the bacon rancher... Stupidest name for food. This is the thing. I love the name of the quesadilla explosion salad, so I can't not order it.

So funny. Mitch, you got the bacon rancher burger. And, Eva, you got the Santa Fe salad, and we all shared a skillet chocolate chip cookie. What I can say, as Mitch keeps kissing the vampire gator with the birthday hat on him. I'm gonna give him 500 kisses before the episode ends. I did have a great time at this meal.

I did that, it was a lot of fun. And I also will say of the two sauced mozzarella sticks, the natural hot of the way to go. We got the other option today with our triple dipper. You could also just say putting any sauce on the mozzarella sticks is ungepaczka. You don't need it. It's fine just to take them and dip them in marinara

or ranch or whatever the fuck. But I do kind of like the concept of putting it on Nashville hot sauce. It is also notable that each one is 500 calories. Yes. Which is insane. It's insane. Yeah, it's just so gross that that's

how bad those are for you. Each stick, you mean? Each stick is 500 calories. I also feel so salty. I feel very salty after this meal. A thing that I noticed from both restaurants is that the food came out very fast at both restaurants. And then a thing I didn't notice at one restaurant

and I noticed today was that the door handle was a chili. Which I think it is. Is it at the other restaurant or no? I think so. I the door handle was a chili. Yes. Which I think it is. Is it at the other restaurant or no? I think so. I think that's a chill, that's standard chili's feature. And I also just want to say that I was like, the door handles a chili in Wags went, it's cold?

You thought I meant that the handle itself was cold. Like you just, an old man would be like, oh, the handle's cold. Here's the thing. I understood that it was a chili. I thought you were saying that it was chili, and like it also like it felt chili. Sure.

So that's what you were saying. Insane thing for me to say to you. But then Eva noticed it too. So it did, it really stuck out for whatever reason. It's cool. It is cool. I like it. Our table was a little wobbly when we got there.

Wait, are we talking, we're skipping ahead to any, Any thoughts on Encino? Oh shit, no, Encino. I enjoyed my meal. Did you get dessert? We did, we got the skillet chocolate chip cookie, which is topped with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge. Yeah, I mean, it's their attempt at a Pizzucchi

at the, you know, the BJ's dessert, the signature dessert. And it's just, I mean, it's not on the same level, but it was still all right. I love the apps and the chips and dips. This is everything I wrote down. We got chips and dips, and the chips and dips were good, and the apps were good. Yes, that is the dip trio.

Wags, my burger was unga pachka. Bacon rancher burger, two beef patties, six slices of bacon, house-made ranch, American cheese sauteed onions, and pickles. No real sauce and kind of a grease bomb, but the quality was good. I didn't know what to get, and the waitress suggested two burgers to me, and I felt like I should get one, but I regret it, but the quality was good. I didn't know what to get, and the waitress suggested two burgers to me. And I felt like I should get one, but I regret it, but still good.

And then I wrote, the cookie was oily. That's what we all said about the cookie was oily. And then I had a giant chocolate stain on my sleeve when I got home that Emma accused me of being shit in the group chat. That's all I remember from that. That's it. That's all right. But I think we had a positive, I think we all had a positive,

a nice fun, it was a good celebration of 500 episodes. It was really nice. It was very nice. Yeah, yeah. Have we all bailed on the hats? We're bailing on the hat? I'll take my hat off. It just hurts after a while.

It does hurt. I mean, Casey, I've kept it on. Amelia's is still on too. Oh, Amelia's is on. I didn't see it. There it is. It's sliding. Mine's attached to the headphones, so. Oh, it's not on your ears. It would's is on, I didn't see it. There it is. It's sliding. Mine's attached to the headphones so.

Oh it's not on your ears. It would be a pain in the ass to take off. All right so Casey's keeping it on but he's pissed off. And Amelia, I think you're, it seems fine. I'm happy about it. I think you might have the smallest head, not to give you a complex, but I think you have the smallest head of everyone,

which is a good thing. I think you said not to give you a compliment. And I was like. I put mine on Wally. Oh, that's cute. Oh, it's covering him. Oh, it's Wally. It's cute.

It's great. I thought about putting one on Jemmy earlier, but she'll hate it. Dogs don't like those. Yeah. It turns out. The quesadilla explosion salad is basically like a kind of generic Southwest salad with citrus balsamic.

But then the titular explosion is a quesadilla, basically is a garnish on the outside. So you're basically gonna get a quesadilla with a full-size salad. And I don't know, I've gotten this one a number of times when I go to Chili's. I just kind of like it because I'm eating a salad, but I'm also eating a quesadilla.

And I get to say a quesadilla explosion, which is a lot of fun. I think it's a great order. Yeah. It's a great order. I almost got it today, but then I looked at the calories on it and it is close to the sandwich I got. So I decided not to get it.

You're eating a fucking quesadilla with the salad. It's like, you're not saving any calories. Is this a cheese quesadilla or is it a chicken? It's a cheese quesadilla, yeah. But you do get a protein with the salad. So you can add chicken or whatever. And even any memories of your Santa Fe salad? It just was what you got without the quesadilla.

Kind of boring, but it was fine. I was, there was so much going on with the appetizers. I just, I wanted to try those. I mean, that's part, that's a big part of the reason you go to one of these places. It's interesting what you're saying about salty, Mitch, because I feel like that is a commonality with a lot of these sit-down chains,

these bigger sit-down chains is food that's very salty but isn't very seasoned, if that makes, that distinction makes sense. Yes. There was a very unseasoned meal today. I had very much similar, I have an observation about that from today. So we went to the Monrovia location, we got a, uh, near, next to Arcadia, California,

which is where my grandparents on my mom's side lived for many years. Oh. So I'm familiar with the Monrovia, Arcadia, and there's another city there that I'm familiar with those, that sort of area. The skinny Marg, Eva, you got, Mitch, you got a strawberry lemonade,

and I got the Arnold Palmer with mango. So you can get a mango lemonade with your iced tea. Here's what I'll say, just way too sweet. Like this was one why I really could have used the Nick Weiger, the perfected ratio, where it was a bit more iced tea, a bit less of the lemonade mixer. And I like-

Sure followed mango himself's advice to not touch the mango. Yeah, the novelty of having a mango iced tea, or I'm sorry, a mango lemonade in an Arnold Palmer, like I couldn't resist that. But I think it was just like, it was just like a little too cloyingly sweet. The strawberry lemonade was kind of bad, surprisingly.

Oh, what a bummer. Because I love their strawberry margarita, but it was just like a, it's kind of cheap tasting strawberry lemonade for, you think it would have like chunks of strawberry and it would be like more naturally, if you told me that was from like a soda fountain strawberry lemonade, I would believe it. It was kind of a bummer.

Skinny margarita both times was nicely minimalist. Yeah. That's a tough drink to mess up. Yeah, sure. It is also like one of the, also this is the other thing when you're looking at the calories on this entire menu, which they show for everything.

The skinny margarita is like, okay, I can drink that. And it's not like a 400 calorie drink, which there are so many. It's like 150, 100 calories. Yeah, which is not bad for chilies. Yeah. It's kind of amazing that they did that, however many years, that was part,

was that part of the ACA putting calories on menus? For chains. Yeah, for chains. So that's been around for, you know, over 10 years at this point, 15 years, that's just been policy. And it doesn't seem to have done anything for the obesity epidemic.

Cause I don't think, like there's just something of just seeing the number in a vacuum, maybe it doesn't like, guide people's decisions really, or you're just sort of like, well, whatever something of just seeing the number in a vacuum. Maybe it doesn't, like, guide people's decisions, really. Or you're just sort of like, well, whatever. In for a penny, in for a pound. Maybe there's even an effect of, hey, I'm see, it's 800 calories for this sandwich. It's 950 calories for this burger.

Fuck it, I'll just get the burger. What's the other 150 calories? I wonder if it's almost counterproductive. Yeah. I don't know. Do you say, shit, don't show them? I don't know. I just don't know. I don't know if it has, it don't show them? I don't know. I just don't know.

I don't know if it has, it doesn't, certainly doesn't seem to be having any sort of positive effect. No, it definitely gets, they get in my head. Yeah. They freak me out. I mean, thinking about the, thinking about the mozzarella sticks being 500 calories each makes me not want to eat

a whole one, I guess. So that is. Yeah, you can have one. And they still destroy my digestive system. Yeah. Yeah. Just even my digestive system. Yeah. Just even three tiny bites. Yeah. 100%.

Just ruined. Yeah. I want to bring up something from the first episode. Okay. On the first episode, Wags, you, with your original rating, you said the food made us feel sick, and we deducted a full Forkscore off of it for that reason. Wow. Which is like Simpson season one shit.

You took a full Fork score off for not, for making us feel ill after eating that. That's so funny. Yeah. That just went away. Was it four Forks? Was it like a four Fork restaurant? I think it went out of four Forks

because it made you feel full afterwards, which just does not exist anymore. I have no memories of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everything makes us sick, whatever. Yeah, I know it doesn't matter. Truly it doesn't matter now.

Unless you give one of us food poisoning like Taco John's did to Emma, like it's just like, whatever, that's just part of the ball game. You're gonna get sick. Yeah. You're gonna feel like shit. Yeah, yeah, that will not affect our Forks score today,

though I do feel very, I feel like my hands and feet are bigger than they were when we started the day. What is that, you know, when like a salt, right? Doesn't it like make your extremities inflate or whatever? Edema. Edema. You're filling your body with more water.

I'm feeling, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Could you not feel that today or no? Adding water to your insides. My buffalo chicken, so I- I'm not really feel on it. There was two things that were super salted to me. One was the cheese, the cheese stick was super salty. Oh yeah.

In the sauce, it was like so salty to me. Second one was kind of the honey chipotle fried mozzarella sticks were kind of a dud. Okay, yeah, let me go through the menu real quick. So we got the triple dipper. The triple dipper was the burger bite triple, which is they're basically sliders. And the sliders are really minimalist.

They're just beef, cheese, and then like a grilled onion. It's kind of like a White Castle. Can I say it? Like an upscale White Castle. They kind of suck. You didn't like them? I thought they were all right. I think they're just like nothing.

They're like, they're so, they're so nothing. I didn't mind it. I think they need a pickle. I think they need some sort of crunch. Yeah. Pickle would have plussed them up a little bit. Some acid. Yeah.

We got the, yes, we got the mozzarella sticks, which were honey chipotle. This is the kind of thing of like the triple dipper, the mild frustration of it. You get three of, you only get two of the sliders, even though it's called the burger bite triple, I guess. Okay, it's the burger bite triple because it's a triple dipper portion, which is a smaller portion than the normal

burger bite. So you only get two. The the mozzarella honey chipotle sticks, we only get two of those. And again, we're a party of three. And then the country crispers, which were like chicken strips, the attendees, we did get three of those. So we each got to have our own. We had some house barbecue, we got a chipotle honey and a Nashville hot sauce. Where are you on Nashville hot in general?

I know it's kind of played out. Oh, I had not even really tried it till I went to Nashville last year. Wow. So I was a little scared it would be too hot. Yeah. Then I started low, and then I ate Nashville hot chicken like eight times.

Wow. And I got hotter each time. And at the end, I was like, I love it. I have not had it since coming back. Yeah, I do like Nashville hot chicken like eight times. Wow. And I got hotter each time. And at the end I was like, I love it. I have not had it since coming back. Yeah, I do like Nashville hot as an approach. I do feel like it's kind of, now that it's just like at every chain, it's not really like what it once was, you know?

It's kind of lost some of that esteem, but. It's so delicious. It is, you get like a proper Nashville hot. It's, it's, it's delightful. Yeah. Yeah. Any predictions about the new, the new sauce will be? Well, I mean, hot honey is, is like, is the one of the moment. And that's so, yeah, it's so played out.

The next sauce, what's coming after that? I don't know. Yeah. Um, I feel like I'm seeing like a spicy Caesar around a lot. Oh, interesting. Okay, spicy Caesar is good. I like that, spicy Caesar's real good. There's a lot of places that make the Caesar chicken wraps

they'll do like a Calabrian chili Caesar. Oh, right, yeah. And so it's zippy, it's a little red. I think spicy Caesar's the next sauce. That's a great call. I wonder if we might see like a gochujang or something like that, like just like, like, you know, one of those sauces kind of.

Yeah, gochujang mayo, something like that. Like, in the same sort of way we saw that happen with Sriracha a few years back, I don't know. I could also see a, like, I feel like there was a moment where it would seem like everything seasoning was going to become, you know, everywhere, and then it never really passed the, like it's kind of a novelty.

I could see that finally reaching critical mass where we're seeing more, we're seeing like, you know, KFC as in like an everything seasoned, you know, a chicken strip or something. Like they have lemon pepper. Yeah, exactly. That's cool. I don't know.

I think my prediction is ketchup's gonna have a bit, it's gonna come back around. Ketchup is gonna have a, people are gonna be- A ketchup renaissance would be interesting. A ketchup renaissance, what do you think of that? Come back to ketchup. What about curry ketchup? Curry ketchup is something, yeah.

Curry ketchup is fun. I like that. That actually, that is a sauce that exists that people, is that big in the UK? Yeah, it's so good. I feel like that's a good one to take off in America. Curry ketchup. Ask AI what the next big sauce is. All right, I'll ask that's like a good one to take off in America, curry ketchup. Ask AI what the next big sauce is.

All right, I'll ask AI. Okay, great. And is it dead? And is it dead? Yeah, hold on, I'm asking AI. I wonder how much water we'll waste by asking this question. I know, what are we doing? You can't do that.

Next big sauce. I know. What are we doing? We can't do that. Next big sauce. I also don't use AI. Jamie's napping, it's very cute. Let's see here. All right, there's an answer coming. Yeah. Predicting the next big sauce involves

looking at current culinary trends, consumer preferences, innovations. Okay, so they give some ideas. Swayze sauce, this sucks, I hate AI. Swayze sauce? I didn't realize that it was gonna, I should have realized that. Hyper regional global sauces.

Are you using the Google AI overview? Yes, yeah. Yeah, that's the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the gold standard. It just did the... Carrot based hot sauces, that's... Carrot based hot sauce. Swayze is sweet and spicy, I see.

I have never heard swicy before. Oh, so it is just a term. It says fruit, when I Googled it, it says the AI overview says the next big sauce trend is likely to be a fruit and spice pairings building on the popular spicy sweet sweicy trend. So that hot honey is a swicy sauce, but why is yuzu sauce is the bottom of the Yuzu and food.

Oh, Yuzu, that's a fun one. I can see Yuzu kind of making some inroads. It's to watch the, because I've watched the full course of Google, like over my lifetime. Like I remember when like we were using AltaVista and Yahoo, those were the search engines of choice. And then Google comes in and he's like,

wow, this is such a better search engine. What a superior product. I can't believe how much easier it is to browse the internet thanks to Google search. Well, what a cool novelty. And then to watch it slowly erode, like it becomes ubiquitous, and then it just keeps getting worse and worse and worse.

The information is less and less reliable. So now we have an AI over you, which is just straight up wrong. It just gives you like false information. So now we've just see the service become useless over the course of its internet. In the 10 years we've done Doughboys, the world has gotten worse.

Everything has gotten worse and more annoying. This just happened on the show I was just working on. Nick Offerman was on the show that I was just working on. Love that. He's awesome. But it's also a David E. Kelly show. And so we were on set and he mentioned, he was like, I was on an episode of The Practice

when I was in my 20s or whatever. And I was like, oh cool, do you remember what episode? He's like, I'm not sure. So I Googled Nick Offerman, The Practice and the A over you said, Nick Offerman was never on The Practice. And I showed it to him and I was like, sorry. And then he was like, I was.

No, you weren't. But that just, that happened like live. I was like, that's great. God. And people, and like government officials are making decisions based off of that. Anyways, that's fucking horrible. True toilet earth. Gwar was right.

Earth. I, okay, so the triple dipper, we got the, yeah, the, I don't think the mozzarella honey chipotle worked. I don't think the sweet and the cheese makes any sort of sense. I thought it was kind of, actually kind of putrid. The country crispers were fine. By the way, can I just quickly just give a follow up? Yeah.

Sauces can't die because they aren't living organisms. Their food products made from ingredients like tomatoes, herbs, or cream, it goes on about that. The humorless basilisk. They can go bad, but that's not dying. It's just decomposition. They're, I confuse the AI basically. It wants me to clarify. Let's be Zizians.

Do you know about the Zizians? Tell me. They hate AI and they murder people. They're a death cult, but they're an anti-AI death cult. Oh, interesting. In the Bay Area. This is a new movement. Yeah, they killed, they stabbed a guy with a katana.

Oh, shit. Yeah, Google the Zizians. You'll never stop reading about them. The Zizians. The Zizians. Because I know the Luddites from back in the day. No, the Zizians are current. Like, a lot of their ideology comes from the show

Steven Universe. Right. Wait, really? Yeah, yes. It's great. Yeah. Are we Zizians by the time we end the show? They post StarCraft memes

and they talk about Steven Universe and they kill people. I've never seen Steven Universe, but some of that seems fun. They mostly are on Tumblr. Wow. They're Tumblr-based death cult. I didn't know Tumblr was still going. I don't know.

I guess so, just for death cult purposes. Maybe, like, yeah, if you're organizing some sort of fringe, you know, murderous movement, it's maybe easier on a platform with less eyeballs. But they're really scared of this concept, which is a short story called Rocco's Basilisk. Okay. Which is an idea that if there's an AI one day

that's so powerful, that's immortal and all powerful, that it would maybe torture anyone who tried to stop it from coming into existence or who didn't help it come into existence and go back in time and torture them. And then just by hearing about it, now you're part of that, so now it can torture you if you don't help it

come into existence, because I told you about it. So you just doomed us? I doomed you. And it's on the recording. And these people got so scared of that idea that they killed people. Jesus Christ, well, they sound like idiots. I don't use AI, I just use that for that bit right there

to just use the Google AI, oh God, I'm in trouble, I just use that for that bit right there to just use the Google AI. Oh God, I'm in trouble, I fucked up. I just infected all your listeners with the basilisk. Now they all know about it, and now they have to help the AI or be tortured for all eternity. I've used AI like, honestly, I can put it on under, I can count under 10 times the times I've used it. Meaning the three times you did it?

Just now. Just now puts it close to 10. But does that even count? And then I made Tina Fey go, so she looks like insane clown pot, see that's one I did. And then I used it like one other time, I've never used it. Does it even count though?

Cause you can't, can you even opt out of it on Google? Like if you just type anything into Google, the first thing you get is an AI overview. No, I don't think, maybe you can opt out. Maybe there's a flag you can put in, maybe some search operator to say no AI or whatever. But like, I don't know. Does that count as using AI in the same way that,

I don't think so. We're fucked. Anyways, we should be, let's get back to the good stuff. It doesn't matter. Chili's. Chili's. Chili's was, okay. Okay, so I think the, yeah, I think't matter. Chilis. Chilis. Chilis was okay.

Okay, so I think the, yeah, I think the triple dipper kind of underwhelmed today. Whereas I do think the sauced mozzarella sticks in theory are fun. I did like the triple dipper we got in En Encino with the boneless wings and the southwestern egg rolls. But I also think those are just like better apps than the sliders and the regular tendies. The chicken crispers are fine. They're fine. They're totally passable chicken strips.

I also want to say that we came in and we had a wobbly table. And I think you and I just wanted to move, but then our guy did, he fixed the wobble. You were in the bathroom. Yeah, our server was good. Yeah, he was a nice guy. Hey, what was his shirt?

Oh yeah, it was like hanging at the ranch or something. It was a cup of ranch on a ranch. Yeah. And I told him I liked his shirt. It was good. He's like, they're new. You didn't really, I mean like- Yeah, it's his work shirt.

Yeah, he rightfully didn't care too much. I did think it was a legit cool shirt. Yeah, I wonder if he can buy it. Yeah, I mean I bet you- I'll get you one. Yeah, you don't have to do that, but I would really love it also at the same time, but. I'm gonna get you one.

People think you work at Joey's. I would really love it also at the same time. But. I'm gonna get you one. People think you work at Joey's. I would love that. That would be stolen, Valor. Neither of us have worked at a fast food place. No, I've never worked at a food service. I worked at a theater, which is the closest I got to working like food service. And it was a golf club.

We got a, I mean, it's this way. I did do a stint at a CPK as the hand job host. So. I really was with you all the way to the last two. You did, you never told me? Holy shit. We got a, I got a, I got the three for me combo, which you get a, you get a, you know, it's like,

one of the three is your drink. So my beverage was included in the three for me. I got, the burger I got was the Big QP, which is their quarter pounder with cheese simulacrum, and what's their advertising is a QPC killer. A Big QP for the Big QT. Oh, Mitch. Good thing to say.

Oh, that's so sweet. And a cup of baked potato soup, which was a server recommendation. And it also came with a side of fries. Mitch, you got yourself a, it was the Buffalo Chicken Sandwich, correct? Yeah, the Buffalo Ranch Sandwich. The Buffalo Ranch Sandwich. And then you also got it with a side of fries,

and you got a house salad with the avocado ranch dressing. And, you know, avocado ranch maybe could make in roast. Yeah. Maybe they could give me another one. I like that. And then, Eva, you got the Piccadilly 3 fajitas, which you got were with shrimp, beef, and chicken. Yeah, it was like the classic trio

is what they called it. Classic trio, yeah. So shrimp, beef, and chicken. Sizzle and fajitas are like one of the things, along with baby back ribs, that chili became known for, like back in the day. And as we said in the first episode, when customers would hear the sizzle,

the sales of fajitas would go up in the dining room. It's true. Yep. And we've said this. We said this on another episode, too. There's the behind the scenes thing of them making the baby back rib song. And it's like we were saying, it's like seeing the Beatles or something.

It is like very, it's fantastic. It's really cool. That's cool. I don't know if you ever seen it. It's a great behind the scenes little YouTube video on that. I will say that when the sizzling plate came out, it sounded fun to hear. It was very funny. Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. But I don't know how, I'm not sure how successful the fajita platter was. They're not good. They're not good fajitas. It's just knowing that you could go to any Mexican restaurant anywhere in LA and then get good fajitas or better fajitas. There was what you were saying, they were salted but not seasoned.

Oh, yes, yeah. And I was saying it looked like almost like, it looked like industrial kitchen, it looked the most like industrial kitchen food, even though I know that that is what this place is, obviously. But you can sometimes really tell like, oh, okay, this is like a Cisco chicken breast.

Exactly, from a bag, yeah. They cut it in quarters. And also just like, I've made fajitas, from a bag. They cut it in quarters. Yeah, just sort of, and also just like, I've made fajitas, they have to have cumin and some spices on them, and these are unspiced. My salad, my avocado ranch salad was good, and it has that cheese on there. I was enjoying that.

I like the Chili's House salad. I've gotten the dinner salad before. It's good. The sandwich itself, one, the fries were way over salted, and then also that buffalo chicken sandwich I thought was very salty, Wags. What did you think? Did you?

I just had the one bite. I don't know, it was working for me. It was okay, yeah. But it could have just been that individual bite, you know? Yeah, yeah. Hard to judge a full sandwich by one bite. I wanna say that the whole experience compared to the first time we went was worse,

like all around for me. Everything was not... You mean Tarzana? Yeah. But not 10 years ago? No. No, this particular visit, I mean, like we went twice. I think it was actually Encino location,

but same difference. Yeah. And the... Yeah, I definitely felt like it was like a better meal overall, like all around on that first go-round, but it also could have been we were getting like all around on that first go round, but it also could have been, we were getting our first choices and you were like,

okay, I'll try something else. And maybe honestly, like for me with that burger, the one I picked, I was like, which I thought overall worked. I thought it was like, this is a pretty good quarter pounder with cheese replica. And you know, also just like kind of a classic sit down chain burger.

And I like the Chili's Big Mouth burgers. I think their burgers are pretty soft. There was mustard on that bad burger. There was mustard on it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looked good. It was good. And it was, and it did have pickles, Mitch,

which did help it quite a bit. But I got that because I was like, oh, well, this is a thing they're advertising a lot. It wasn't necessarily like the thing that I was craving as much. The baked potato soup I thought was quite toothsome. I was enjoying that. It was a good wreck.

And yeah, and I think the burger was working. I don't know. I maybe had the most successful meal of the three of us, I guess I'm learning. I didn't find the fries overly salted, but I was also dipping those bad boys in ranch which was cutting the salt a little bit. Okay, yeah.

That maybe was what it was. I don't know. I was salted out today on this strip. There's too much salt going on. There's a lot of salt, a lot of sugar, a lot of salt. You doing some ocean swimming? I did, I was just in the ocean right before I came. Maybe that was what it was.

Oh, like swimming, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You meet me there? No. No. You come to suck my dick and let some of you. There's only one thing I'll do you now. Aw. You Mitch married a gator?

That is the saddest ending for me is I married gator puppet. I drove by you on the road and I was gonna hold it up and like make it talk at you on the road and I was like, you'll think I'm insane. I would have just gotten in an accident. Intentionally? Ah! Yeah. It's like, you're just like, no, I've seen everything.

You can pull your brains out. Oh. Oh, boy. And we opted for no dessert. I mean, I guess that's the whole meal, right? Yeah. Anything else? Anything else that's the whole meal, right? Yeah. Anything else? Anything else notable?

Service good at both locations? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, service was great at. Yeah, both times we went, they were doing a great job. It feels like Chili's is very much back. Chili's is back. I would go back to Chili's. I've been telling people to go to Chili's

since our first meal. No, like, this is the thing. Like, I had a fun time at both meals, even though I think this meal was maybe less successful food-wise. Yeah. I still just had a fun time at both meals, even though I think this meal was maybe less successful food-wise. Yeah. I still just had a good time. Chili's is back.

Chili's is back. Chili's is back. And it's just the cheese polars, you've done a good job. You know, like, uh. That's true. We're very mean to the, you know, the younger genera, this TikTok generation,

but they've, uh, they've brought Chili's back single-handedly. Congrats. I mean, I think there's some successful strategizing that's going on in the business side as well. Like I think again, just like really leaning into value was smart of them. And also like enough time has passed and since the pandemic where I think people

are just like eager to go out. Like it took a few years for things to really normalize and for people to really get comfortable like go out. Like it took a few years for things to really normalize and for people to really get comfortable like going out and being in large groups now. But now people are like, oh yeah, this sit down dining experience that we swung so far away from in favor of delivery,

maybe that's the thing I actually crave. And maybe that's actually a thing that's part of it beyond just like the food itself. I hope so, that would be great. It's actually like some, you know, having a sense of community. It's a vibe thing. It's a vibe thing, yeah. And the vibes. Yeah. And the vibes of chili are good. Yeah,

they're good. I agree. Today's episode is brought to you in part by Shopify. If you've shopped online, chances are you've bought from a business powered by Shopify. You know that purple shop pay button you see at checkout? The one that makes buying so incredibly easy? That's Shopify, and there's a reason so many businesses sell with it, because Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your business.

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that's used by millions of businesses around the world? It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. Your customers already love it. If you wanna see less carts being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash DLM. Go to Shopify.com slash DLM. Shopify.com slash DLM. Back to the show. All right, we should get to our final thoughts on this revisit to Chili's.

Eva, you know, the shell, we each go around, give her a closing argument, if you will, and give this a fork score from zero to five. You're our guest. We'll begin with you. Are we going to take both visits into consideration? Yeah, I think so, right? Chili's is back. Wow.

Chili's is back. I want us to go up from, because it's better than it was 10 years ago, and most things don't get better, they get worse. Do you want me to look up where we are 10 years ago? I think three and a half or three years ago. Was that three and a half, was that where we were? You're the one who knocks out of the Golden Play Club. Are you sure about that? I'm pretty sure. I wanna know where we are 10 years ago. I think three and a half or three years. Was that three and a half, was that where we're at? You're the one who knocks out of the Golden Play Club.

Are you sure about that? I'm pretty sure. I wanna know where we were 10 years ago. Okay, I'm gonna- We're also confused, we didn't understand what the scores meant. That's also true. Yeah, we didn't have a baseline.

Neil was about to give Pizza Hut one star, is that what happened? Oh yeah, yes. It just made everything really weird. Yeah, he did, he changed the game. Neil Campbell changed the game in the Doughboys world. So it says Nick gave it three forks, Mitch gave it four, and Eva, you also gave it three.

I'm going four. You also got a skinny margarita back then, too. Yeah. I knew my order. I'm going, I'm going to get four, and because Chili's is back. Wow. Four forks.

Yeah, wow. All right, Spoonman, what do you think? Wags, look, there's been some bumps in the road because Chili's is back. Wow. Four forks. Yeah, wow. All right, Spoonman, what do you think? Wags, look, there's been some bumps in the road as we've done this podcast. It's been bad, mostly bad the entire time we've done it. You feel bad. We feel bad.

I mean, when we first, when we look at old pictures of ourselves, which I thought I was big then, we got much bigger. Yeah, for sure. In that time, we got, we increased in size, which also I guess is probably just natural aging stuff anyways, but. To some degree.

To some degree, I don't know. It's pretty dry. It's probably like a 60 pound swing at least. But we've been very lucky to have the show and have the listeners we have, and have our wonderful, funny guests and friends on. Yeah, and we're lucky to have you. No, well, I don't know.

It's true. Do you remember the Gator bit from earlier? Yeah. Yay! Yay! Nick and Mick. Why are you clapping? Yeah.

Look, we are lucky to do this show and it's fun to see this place after 10 years, 10 full years of doing the show. And I think things, it has gotten better. I think from our first visit, I think I did enjoy these last two visits more, but I'm gonna stick around the same fork score. I'm going four forks, Wags.

Wow. Actually, you know what? Four and a half forks. Four and a half forks, wow. I think Chili's, you know what? A place that's getting better and they're good at what they do, you know what I Four and a half forks. Four and a half forks, wow. I think Chili's, you know what? A place that's getting better and they're good at what they do. You know what I mean?

They are. Yeah. They're, what Applebee's is, Chili's is a better version of that. They're trying to. I'm upping my score to match Mitch's. Four and a half forks. Wow.

Four and a half forks, wow. Wow. Four and a half. Yeah, I guess that is, it's kind of those three, right? It's Chili's, Applebee's, and TGI Friday's when you think of the classic sort of American sit down chain restaurant.

Even though they're all doing slightly different things, I feel like that's like the, if you're just thinking like in a vacuum of a generic chain restaurant, you're thinking of some approximation of one of the three of those, right? So that's really what's competing against. Yeah, and the Criss Angel. And Ka-blip.

Ka-blip, yeah. Ka-blip is the other one I think of. Yeah, Criss Angel's breakfast, lunch, or pizza. As I said on our pilot episode, and I have this written down, quote, as far as chain restaurants go, Chili's is one of the main ones. This is, wait, this is from the first episode?

I said, as far as chain restaurants go, Chili's is one of the main ones. Man, your writing has gotten even better in 10 years. That was off the dome. Penn was not put to paper for that one. I think this is, I think 10 years later, I can say that take is vindicated. I think it is one of the main ones.

Yeah. People think chain restaurants, oh yeah, Chili's. I think so is one of the main ones. Yeah. People think of chain rest on state, oh yeah, chilies. I think so. And it deserves to be, it's earned its status. I think it's very often top of mind. Damn, actually, you know what? That was really good writing. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I had a great time at both of these visits. Some things were really working for me. I do think there is some deserved virality to the Nashville hot mozzarella sticks.

I don't think I maybe necessarily dwelled on that enough. I'm a bit of a heat seeker. I thought those were nicely spicy. And I think that just like the marriage of the Nashville hot and the breaded mozzarella sticks and the cheese interior all sort of comes together quite nicely. I thought that- It works. It is insane.

I mean, I remember it's just a nicely. I thought that, I thought that's a great app. It works, it is insane. I mean, I remember, it's just a lot. It's a lot. Each one is as big as a deck of cards. Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's crazy. Which, Chris Angel should, like a deck of cards,

mozzarella sticks. You should serve them. Yeah. That's... I thought that was, I mean, that was great. There were some individual bites I really enjoyed. I did like my fake quarter pounder quite a bit today. And again, yeah, I just like the vibe. So, do I want to be in the handholding club

and say four and a half forks with Eva and Mitch? Ultimately, I think that's a half fork too aggressive. I'm gonna, but I am gonna say, welcome to the Golden Plate Club, to Chili's Four Forks. Wow! Yay! Oh no, Jimmy.

It's back, Chili's back. But are you gonna deduct, are you still gonna deduct a point for hurting your stomach? Do I bring that back? Yeah, did you bring it down to three? I mean, look. No! You know what, Mitch?

That was the previous 500 episodes. The next 500 episodes were starting fresh. The next 500 episodes? We don't care about the rumblies. We expect our stomachs to hurt. 10 years? Baseline. We'll be 50.

We'll be in our 50. I can't do it. I can't do that. When do you want to quit, then? When do you want to stop? Pick an end date. When should the D to quit then? When do you want to stop? Pick an end date. When should the Doughboys...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When should the Doughboys... We have to end, no matter what, can we end on my 50th birthday? Yeah, sure.

Okay. But I mean, you should start planning now, Mitch, because that's coming up. That's coming up? If you think about it. Eight years. Yeah. Think about, I mean... Two more Trump presidencies.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha mention the Toe Boys Quit is unreal. It's unreal, yeah. There's so much information in that. It's like about one of the hosts, Mike Mitchell, has openly discussed the physical toil that frequently eating fast food takes on his health. Ha ha ha. The speculation of- Talk about past discussions, health concerns, format changes. Don't believe that the amount of fresh chain restaurant

content available for review is dwindling. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. This has more information than I expected it to have. Did this change after you mentioned the AI thing to us? Ultimately, the decision of when the Doughboyz podcast will end is up to the hosts, Mike Mitchell and Nick Weigert. That's where they resolve.

Wow. Yes. What do you think, Wags? 500 more episodes? I can't do it. No? Technically, if you include the doubles, we're closing in on 1,000 episodes.

Yeah, if you include the doubles, but... The doubles don't count. Come on. Handjob host. That's a good host. I do recognize you. Time to go back to the old me, the Bugs Bunny meme with the guns. I can't wait to come into Headgum and be like, there's a host at Headgum now? I do recognize you. It's time to go back to the old me, the Bugs Bunny meme with the guns.

I can't wait to come into Headgum and be like, there's a host of Headgum now? Nick's there? What studio will be using today? All right. Right this way, Mr. Conover. Can I just show you my purse? No.

No. No. No. You jack off his hair. Yeah. I imagine that's something about Mary. Spike would be scraping the ceiling. Okay. Thank God, thank God, thank God Conover wasn't in something about Mary in that scenario.

Thank God he wasn't in that scenario. Can you imagine? He's got a kid. What do you think he uses to keep his hair so high? Timur Diaz would be like, oh my god. Raising his hair to the ceiling. He apologizes for letting his hair get so tall. Takes full responsibility.

Oh, by the way, yeah, the AI answers I looked at were from the orb. They were. From his eyeball looked at were from the orb. They were... They were... From his eyeball? It was from his eyeball orb. A shard of his eyeball? From a shard of Conover's eye?

Hey, for the first few episodes of Doughboys, and we started this with the very first one, this next segment was a fixture, but it was quickly discontinued with cause. We have one more thing. Oh, before we get to the segment, we're was quickly discontinued with cause. Wait, hold on. We have one more thing. Oh, before we get to the segment, we're gonna do this now? Okay. Jemmy, Jemmy, don't leave the studio. Jemmy, you're not off the clock.

Oh, my God. Wow. Oh, my God. Whoo-hoo. Wow. Happy 500. So sweet. Wow, look at that. Jemmy, don't eat the chocolate cake. No chocolate cake. Guys, that's so sweet.

That's so sweet. Guys from Porto's. Cake from Porto's. Jimmy don't eat the chocolate cake Parisian chocolate cake from Porto Wow 500 candles on them. How about that? Are you guys gonna blow it out? Not 500 candles like a 500 500 and I was like, I don't know if it's even true. Wow, the Weiger team is walking in. Thank you so much. Thank you. As well as Katie from Edgum. Thank you, Anya. Thank you, Katie. Thank you, Anya.

Thank you, guys. Is this actual champagne? It sure is. I'll take a pass for now. I'll have one. Perfect. Perfect response, everyone. Thank you.

Is this actual champagne? I'll take a pass for now from Weiger. Weig's, hey, to 500 episodes. Amelia laughed. Amelia's gone. I think there's only thing we can do. I heard her say I'll drink his as she walked out. Great.

You want to, you guys, you have to blow it. Make a wish. Happy birthday to Chu. Doh. Doh. Happy birthday. Oh, we're going doh. OK.

Oh, wait, you. Oh, Chu. I thought Chu was an actual name. Hold on. We'll start again. Happy birthday to chew. Happy birthday to chew. Happy birthday dear Doh Boys. Happy birthday to you.

We sang the song to ourselves. Cheers. Make a wish for the next 500 episodes. Singing that song gets this episode demonetized on Spotify. I hate your parody. There you go, Amelia. I didn't think about it.

No, I think it's public domain now. You should help us blow it out, too. We did a parody. Parody. Ready, Wags? The three of us should blow it out. Wags, I think each of us get a number. Headgum springing for Corbelle.

OK. Ready? One, two, three. I think each of us did blow out our specific candy. How about that? Wow. A lot of fun. Thank you, guys.

Does someone want to subdivide this cake? Actually, this would be a good bit of business to do, because I got a good amount of reading to do. For the first few episodes of Doughboys, we had this feature called an unsatisfied Yelper that we periodically like to bring back. And I thought I'd do another edition of an unsatisfied Yelper for global chilis.

That's right, chilis has over 1,600 worldwide locations, and these are one-star reviews from international chilis. Amazing. All right, first up. I have a question for you. Are we funnier than we were in our first episode? Specifically, you and I. We don't have to include the guests.

Our guest is always funny. Yeah, definitely louder. Yeah, I don't think our first episode. I don't even know if we made any jokes in our first episode. You were so polite. We were very. So we were funnier in our first episode? We were kind of NPR-y, I think, in our first episode.

Watch out, but Jemmy's got her eyes on those candles. I actually just put one of her bison bones on the chair there in case she's trying to get at someone's cake too much. She can have a bone instead. All right, this is a one-star Yelp review from the Banff, Alberta, Canada chilies. There are three chilies in Canada, Mitch. We spent a little bit of time north of the border.

Sure. Two of the Canadian Chilis are at airports. I believe this is the one that is not in an airport. Tracy B from Calgary writes. I can't see exactly. It's a photo. Well, I'll read it, and it'll give us some context. The head gum needs to update that software on the TV. The software on the TV is never being updated.

We'll get that pop up every single time we power it up. Sorry about that. All right. Tracy B from Calgary writes, We dined in at the Banff Chili recently. We were sat in the lounge area. There's a high top table in the center of the lounge, and on top of the table was a grimy cleaning

bottle and a large dirty rag. This was in full view of everyone dining and was certainly a terrible eyesore. There is nobody who wants to dine and look at dirty cleaning supplies in the center of the place. We moved the bottle and rag down to a chair, and three times a different waitress and the bartender Went out of their way to put it back up on the table We talked to her server about this and she agreed with us and said it was a forced rule by the manager

All I can say is what terrible management nobody wants to dine and stare at a filthy rag and cleaning supplies I will also let the health inspector know I have told a few friends and one sent me, I have told a few friends and one sent me a photo of this filthy rag and bottle on top of the center table tonight, gross. Oh, so this is, he didn't even take this, the person writing the review. Tracy B didn't even take this photo,

a friend took this on a separate visit. So this is just a thing that every time you go to the Banff, maybe some of our listeners have been to the Banff Chili's, there's just a dirty rag and a spray bottle up on one of the bar tables. Can I just say I would hate to be the guy who's just in the background of that review, the guy who's just sitting there like,

it looks like he just ate a mozzarella stick or something. Is it snowy outside? Is that what we're looking at? Yeah, it looks like it. It looks like Christmas lights in the trees too. Wow. Snow kissed chilies. Did Scrooge write this? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Some of these reviews rise to that threshold. This seems to me like this is an insane Chili's. If this is a manager's policy that a cleaning supply bottle

has to be in full view of the customers at all times. A cleaning supply bottle should be nowhere near where your food is gonna be. That looks like a table that you could in theory get sad at. And a dirty rag. Yeah, that's pretty nasty. The rag is the worst part about it.

I think if I saw a cleaning product on one table, I'd be like, whatever, I don't care that much. I guess the rag is worse this cake is delicious is it good it's really good we and why exactly we're probably in a part we get work just as we were preparing here yeah we did not have dessert at Chili's and I was thinking about doing like a lava cake but this is this worked out so much better this is a one-star Yelp review from the Guam Chili's from Jim Bradford C of Belmont, California.

Surprise, they are still open. Please come and waste your money on microwavable food. I recently went here because Crap-A-Bees had its famous 35 minute wait to get a round of draft beers for my friends and I. Let's cut to the chase. The staff still seems to be uneducated in the basics of customer service. Guess they are too busy trying to snipe each other

on Snapchat. Either that are too busy trying to snipe each other on Snapchat. Either that or too busy taking- Snipers. Either that or too busy taking stupid selfies with a dog face theme features, putting things like hashtag work grind is the title. Literally saw a staff member do this while I was waiting 15 minutes for a glass of water.

You would think having such an empty parking lot would encourage the staff or managers to come up with better cross-selling strategies or at least beef up their service, but no one lets the same pre-made, no one, no, let's offer the same pre-made crap we always have, not to mention the prices haven't gotten any better.

I'm about eight drinks in. I'm about eight drinks in. I'm about eight drinks in. Eight chili drinks, it's like 4,000 calories in cocktails. Eight chili drinks, it's like 4,000 calories in cocktails. And 16 shots of liquor. And 16 shots of liquor. He expects the staff to lower the prices and come up with new menu items?

I mean... At this Guam Chili's? I don't think this guy knows how this industry works. Doesn't Guam have a military base? Yes. This is that some of these locations are near or on military bases. I'm about eight drinks in, and this quesadilla still tastes like it came out of an Extreme Lunchables pack, you know, one for teenagers,

where you get a Capri Sun in a can. I think I hate my friends more than this place for continually making plans to eat at these cookie-cutter corporate fast casual dinners. This dude is fucking miserable. Also, the local menu is junk. Improve prices and re-educate the staff on proper etiquette for a workplace.

And this guy's a piece of shit. This guy, this is a carrot. This guy sounds like an American who went to a foreign country and expects them to treat him like they would in America. And they have like no understanding of like local cultures and stuff and how these things work. It's funny because I read a lot of these reviews and we won't get to all of the ones that I read. But I went through dozens and so many of them,

I'd say most of them are Americans complaining about a foreign Chili's. And it's just like, you're on vacation and you're going to a fucking Chili's and then complaining about how it's not as good as the one in Oklahoma. Yeah, or that the service isn't, they don't treat, like servers aren't the same in Oklahoma

as they are in Guam. Yes, right. But of course they're not, it's a completely different place. I just think about more how this soldier is eight drinks deep at Chili's raging out and saying that he hates his friends more than the restaurant. Just got deployed to downtown LA.

I know, yeah, absolutely. I was just shocked that the review wasn't for b****. We'll bleep that out. Here's a one star. Remember we found that person's, remember we found their yelp, but it was insane. Oh yes, yeah. We found their yelp, but it was insane.

Here's a one star TripAdvisor review from Tunis Tunisia by Matt T. Very poor quality. We came with a party of eight, and everyone agreed it was the worst chilies ever. We regretted going. Tunisia? I consider myself a chilies connoisseur, having had chilies in many U.S. states,

Puerto Rico, Paris, Singapore, Ecuador, Morocco, and other countries. Oh, my God. Chilies in Tunisia is so substandard that it should be closed. The boneless wings are crappy McNuggets. The sliders are a pieced meal on stale buns. Yeah, because they got shipped from the States.

There are no tostada chips and salsa, a must-have item. Worst off, they wouldn't even serve us beer. They claimed it was impossible to get a beer in a restaurant across all of Morocco, Tunisia, and Egypt during Ramadan, which simply isn't true. Most other restaurants and all alcohols served alcohol during Ramadan. Bad service and even worse food.

This guy is going- Don't go to Chili's in Tunisia. What the fuck are you doing? He's going to Chili's in Tunisia during Ramadan. What the fuck is he doing? I'm not bragging about how he's been to all of these foreign countries that have wonderful food and you chose Chili's?

But also like it's a Muslim nation during a holiday that is about fasting and like where the whole religion has one of its principles, abstaining from alcohol. And you're angry that during Ramadan, you can't get drunk at a Chili's. Just like coming to the stage and being mad that nothing's open on Christmas. Yeah, the sense of it was amazing.

All these people have been fasting all day that he's yelling at too. I know, exactly, yeah. This is from a one-star Yelp review from Yokosuka Naval Base in Japan from Roberta S. of San Diego. The worst Chili's I've ever been to. This is a one-star Yelp review from Yokosuka Naval Base in Japan from Roberta S. of San Diego. The worst chilies I've ever been to.

Inconsistent, clearly poor, and careless management, mediocre food. Yesterday, we went in the afternoon and were served by a gentleman who should not work in the service department. He kept on shaming my teenage daughter for her food choices and for overeating. When she ordered her meal, he told her,

nobody tends to eat the whole plate, and he would bring her a to-go box with it right away. Who does that? Then when she ate most of it, he told her he'd never seen anyone eat all that food before. And this is the first time not bringing a to-go box. Then we ordered dessert, which we split in three. We started eating, and when he stopped by 15 minutes later,

he made a comment on how we had snorted the cake. Unbelievable. I guess he enjoyed the pointless shaming more than serving because he only refilled our drinks once because we asked. And after our empty cups sat on the table, I had to drink my daughter's leftover soda to quench my thirst. Topped this awful service experience with mediocre food,

my burger was dry and overcooked, fries were clearly recycled, and the lava cake was still frozen in the middle, still no lava came out. I will never go to this place again. It would be nice to have a taste of home in a foreign country, but first the manager and a few employees need to get fired so they can hire someone who actually cares to be in the service.

I just got to say as an adult writing an angry thing that said, no lava came out. That is so fucking pathetic. I also like, look, he should not have shamed a 13 year old girl in a way that probably will give her a lifelong eating disorder. Sure, that was very bad. But it is kind of funny just to make fun of some big fat Americans and Japanese guys and be like, oh look at you, you fucking pigs.

That's what I'd be like, I've never seen anyone eat the whole plate before, that's disgusting. Also, him saying it's nice to get a taste of home in a foreign country, It's like, what? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Yeah, why is that part of your experience of traveling is eating, getting a taste of home.

I understand, I do understand the novelty. Look, I'm not well traveled, but I do, but like we went to like McDonald's Canada and I was like, oh, I like the idea of like, hey, let's see what the Canadian McDonald's, I understand the idea. There's weird variations on things. Yeah, so I kind of understand that from some reason,

from a certain standpoint, but I feel like I kind of understand that from a certain standpoint. But I feel like you kind of have to go in with a little bit of curiosity and an open-mindedness and not the expectation that it will be exactly the same as your version at home. Yeah. Is this like someone who's stationed there on this military base?

So they're looking at it as their piece of home while they're stuck there? My assumption is that, yes, it was either someone who's stationed there or someone who was visiting a relative who was stationed there. All right, one more. This is a One Star Trip advisor review from Doha, Qatar. This is a, Dr. M. Hussein left this.

Chili's Hyatt Plaza threatened to take us to jail, crazy. What? Husam, the manager, called the police because they overcharged us on the bill and we were disputing the charge with him. It related to the use of a coupon and the rules around it, which I disputed with him. He said, if you don't actually pay the entire amount, I will have no issues to call the police.

The police showed up and I asked my family to leave because it was so embarrassing. He was explaining to me and the police that I should have read the rules, which we did, and none of them made sense anyway. He also was so worried about paying the extra amount of 30 rials from his own pocket. Chili's in an international company. I did not think they would charge him, but he kept arguing and he was so scared

about paying the 28 rials. My children were upset and embarrassed by the police presence. On top of that, after I agreed to pay the bill because of the intervention of the Hyatt Mall manager, this is a Hyatt Mall location, Chili's, Mr. Ahmad, nicest guy ever, Mr. Hussam added another 18 Rials to the bill for no reason.

I disputed it with him and he started to scream at me again. He even threatened to detain me. It was really an insane type of moment. Anyways, at the end, I paid the bill and added a 15% tip for the waiter. Also to tell Mr. Hussam, it is not about the money, it is about the lies and the false marketing campaigns.

And we, as the customers, end up paying the price. I have never seen a manager that horrible, threatening and insecure in my life. Other than that, burgers were good. (*laughter*) One thing I, fajitas were horrible. One thing I noticed is there was an atmosphere of fear in the place.

(*laughter*) Every time the waiter or hostess wanted to do something, they would go in the back and ask the manager. The staff seemed frightened and really scared. I was scared. He called the police. Imagine the people working there. I was scared?

Why was he scared? They called the police on him. Oh, well, I mean, yeah, he's acting insane. No, the guy is not. I don't know if the guy is acting insane. I think the manager is maybe acting insane. Even if the manager says they're gonna call the police, maybe just let it go with the game.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, this guy wouldn't give up this coupon thing. It's like, what happened? That's fair, yeah. I was imagining this was all about the Zios game pass. I got charged for the cat quiz game. I just clicked one thing. What is the special thing about Calico Cats, though?

They're not- They're lucky. They're all females. They're all females. They're all females. They're all females. I was scared. He called the police. Imagine people working their horrible place. I hope Mr. Ehab, the district manager, will do something.

I will call him. Wow. Okay, you could have just called him and not posted. Yeah, that's true. You were scared. That's true. What's the Yelp review about how you got scared? He was scared.

Everyone was scared. And then his children were embarrassed by him. And the police came. And the police came, and that embarrassed my children, and they should feel ashamed. It's like the police came because you stayed. Yeah, you stayed. And didn't give it up.

I don't know how much is, it was 28 reals? Yes, I don't know the conversion rate. Let's find out how much 28 reals are. Cotter? No. Yeah, Cotter Qatar a reset How much is one real is point zero zero zero zero two four dollars Okay, so we're talking about this coupon that changes the price in us less than fifty what

Again is this a is this the Qatari? Is that a cent? I mean, again, is this the Qatari real? Are there different currencies that reals have conversion rates? I don't know. I mean, I also could see the psycho arguing over something less than a cent. Could be, yeah, could be.

Highly possible. Look, I think everyone loses in this scenario. For sure. Especially the staff. Anyway, that wasn't a satisfied Yelper. It's time for our proper segment. I've got a food stuff we're gonna decide if you should put in your mouth.

It's Snack or Whack and Mitch, wow, I got us the Selena Gomez Oreo cookies. Oh wow. These are a limited edition that I ordered from Oreos online. I'm gonna circulate, I get two two bags here. I'm going to circulate these. Let me read the copy here. I pre-ordered these. You have to get a two-pack to get them shipped to you. These are horchata inspired sweet snacks featuring a layer of chocolate and cinnamon flavor cream atop another layer of sweetened condensed

milk flavor cream with cinnamon sugar inclusions sandwiched between two Oreo chocolate cinnamon flavored wafer cookies. So this is like a chocolate cinnamon Oreo basically. Sounds delicious. It does sound good. I got one of the other signature Oreos, and I'm trying to remember who it was. I'll remember.

Selena Gomez is my crush. Yes. I have a crush on Selena Gomez. Did you see her Instagram post about this? That I have a crush on Selena Gomez. Did you see her Instagram post about this? That I have a crush on her? Oh, no. No. Yeah, if she was here, I would definitely try to do that.

Asking her first. I had the Post Malone Oreos. Post Malone. They're very good. I didn't try those. I found them at a drug store and I gave them, I passed them around. Selena Gator, fuck. Selena, Selena Gator Mez.

Fuck. Fuck. I liked it. I dipped below my first episode, funniness. I'm fucked. Mitch, I was actually reading the wiki for our first episode and there's a quote section of the wiki. Do you want to know what your quote for the episode was? Yes, let me hear it.

Oh man, that's my first bomb on this podcast. What's next? Next was, he's talking about dismembering a small man and eating him for sustenance. They're talking about mini me. Yeah, and then yours was about pulling the chair out from under a woman while she's sitting down. Hey!

I can't say it's my 500th bomb that I've bombed so many times over the course of 500. Don't shake your head no, is that a video? You can't be agreeing with me. My phone's just being such a good girl. Weger actually had two quotes in this one, and the second one was, coincidentally, I was on the Jared Fogle Wikipedia page recently.

And then it says, FYI, this app was three months before Fogle's unspeakable crimes came to light. We just talked about all the same stuff as nothing changed. Yeah, here's the issue. We have kind of just repeated ourselves on the show. Life is a Herald. OK, so there are six signat- I'm sorry, five signature designs here.

Wait, a cookie design? Yeah, so we have Selena's sound, Hot Is My Heart, Play Your Heart Out, Selena in the Studio, and Write or Die. So you can see. Oh, wait, there's just different designs. Different designs. So if you look at the cookie, like you see, this one is the Play Your Heart Out design.

It's got a little heart on there. I got Hot Is My Heart. You got Hot Is My Heart, yeah. And is there one about having a crush on Selena? I mean, Hot Is My Heart feels like that qualifies. Should I have it? Thank you, Eva. I got to say this. Wait, let's hand those over to the producer's desk

so the deus can have a taste. I still haven't had my cake, but I'm gonna go into this cookie. I'm gonna say this. I, so Selena Gomez, I got a crush on her. Mi bella. Et cetera, et cetera. But eating these cookies after this cake is tough

because this cake is also fancy. This is a big time snack on this cake. Oh, I mean, I've never had anything from Porto's that I don't love. The cake is so good. And so now we got these Selena Gomez cookies, which, uh-oh, I kinda like it. Ooh, I kinda like that.

This is working for me. I could definitely crush a sleeve of these. Okay. It's reminding me of something, and I'm not sure what it is. It'll come to me. You ready one of these? It's like a chocolate graham cracker.

Twist this sumbitch open, and then. Are you asking if we've ever twisted open an Oreo before? Watch my technique. Cool. Just take the cream off with your bottom teeth. And then you just have dry cookie. Yeah. You just dip the cookie.

You don't even worry about these. There's two different creams on this. Save it for the hostess stand, you freak. These are like honey grams, or like teddy grams. Yes, that's exactly what it is, like the chocolate teddy grams. They honey grams or like teddy grams. Yes, that's exactly what it is. Like the chocolate teddy grams. They're very much like teddy grams. I need to, do they make these in double stuffed?

I need to try more cream. I haven't seen them in double stuffed. Try the Weigar method. Yeah, make your own double stuffed. No, no, no. We're not calling, licking the cream off the cookie, the Weigar method. Yeah, you could put two together and make your own double stuff.

But there's two different types of cream in each one, right? So would that be like a quadruple stuff? I guess so. I got to say, I like these. I think these are working for me. Very interesting. I just tried the Weiger method and it's very fun. Don't say that.

You knew the method. I didn't method and it's very fun. Don't say that. Yeah, right? You know, you knew the method. I didn't know what it was called though, now I know it's called the Wagher method. Look at that, look at that. Look at the Mitch method there, look at that. How about that? Nothing left on that bad boy. That's not the kind of like the Wagher method. Casey?

It's true. It was fun being there wrapping your movie last night, remember? These are a big time snack for me. I think these are great. I think they absolutely work. They're better than Post Malone. I'll give them a snack.

What was the Post Malone flavor? It was salted caramel cream and something else going on with the cookie. I buy, because I watch some of her Instagram posts and you read the caption. I buy that this actually comes from a place of like, hey, I like these flavors. Because sometimes these celebrity tie-ins, it's just like, like Anthony Davis doesn't actually give a fuck

about jalapeno lime ruffles. Like he does, I don't buy that he has any connection to this, you know what I mean? And I like Anthony Davis, like you're great. But it's just like, this is just, they told him this was going to be his ruffles flavor and he was like yeah sure put my face on it I said like a cooking show so it makes sense that she'd like make her own little flavors Yeah, I buy that like oh she like like like horchata

It seems like I said that's a flavor she likes and and this seems like a like a good combo of the celebrity in the flavor profile I don't I think that this works on that word from that standpoint, but also just tastes fucking good. I think the cookies are a snack. I think Selena's a snack. Yeah. I think she should ditch this. Should I not say that?

Was it weird? No, keep going. Oh. Say more. Say more. I was saying Selena's a snack. Was that? Escalate.

Escalate. I think she should ditch the goon and get with the spoon. And this makes me like her even more. She made a good Oreo. A good Oreo. I mean, I love you. LAUGHS LAUGHS But yeah, I'm turning red.

I'm a fan. I'm a fan of Selena Gomez. That's great. I think these are working. I mean, I thought that movie was bad, but not her fault in the start. Wait, what movie? The fucking one that came out last year.

That was a dog shit. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What the fuck was that called? The Deflix movie. I even forgot that it was nominated for an Oscar, was it? It was awful. Amelia Perez.

Yeah, I wanna call it Vicky Barcelona, but that's not it. Vicky Barcelona. That's part of the Woody Allen title, different movie. Penis to vagina song. The penis to vagina song. That movie's fucking awful. It truly might be the worst movie I saw last year. Really bad.

I'm not saying that hyperbolically either. I saw Red one last year. Don't start, don't you start. You love red one. She kept that going, we thought was a bit and she really liked red one apparently. What's the consensus from the deus about the Selena Gomez Oreos?

Slam dunk. Slam dunk. Wow. I would eat a whole sleeve of those for sure. Real good. Those would be good in like cookies and cream, but with that instead of like a regular Oreo like in an ice cream.

Oh, I love that pitch. I just want, I think it's a good dunk. Yeah. I think the cake didn't help on top. The cake is delicious. I still haven't had my cake. I'm gonna hopefully get to my cake while we're talking about the feedback.

Hey, just like a restaurant value feedback, let's open up the feedback. And hey, we went back to Hank Friedman for this one. Our very first emailer from our episode one feedback. Amelia, you were saying he lives in Germany now. Is that correct? Yeah, he moved to Germany. Wow, how about that?

Yeah. Cool. So I used to, I was an intern on Comedy Bang Bang when he was an editor on it. So that's how, so I reached out to Hank and yeah. Hank out to Hank. And yeah, he sent me a question from Germany. Hank's great. We all work with Hank and knew Hank, and I think that's why he emailed in for the first episode.

I know Hank as well as you, but that's a great, Hank, thank you. We reached back out to Hank? Thanks, Hank. Hank Rice. Wow, a listener from year one that's still alive is a great sign. Yeah. I've lived in Berlin and traveled around Europe

for almost two years. And the rules for tipping here in the old countries are different, especially at restaurants not accustomed to filthy American tourists. The waiters are so thankful for even a 5% tip. At a cafe, people sometimes fork over like 25 euro cents, and the workers show genuine gratitude. It's weird.

What would it take to get that sort of thing going in America outside of a complete collapse of society and a rewriting of the constitution? Thanks, Hank. It's an interesting question, because like, Mitch, you and I had to having this podcast that depends on, you know, the work of people in fast food chain restaurants. Can I be honest with you?

Yeah. I zoned out during the course. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, we'll recap. We tip generously to our service workers, but also US tipping culture is an abomination. It's fucking horrible. And now these pressures that exist on people

to tip at places where you didn't previously tip, where again, we're probably management now is like, well, we're gonna pay you less because you're a tipped employee because that's part of the scam of American capitalism is that there are laws where you pay someone sub minimum wage if they're a tipped employee. And so their work is their their pay is supplemented by the customers. But now all of a

sudden, there's an expectation that wherever you go, they're gonna, they're gonna, you know, send it, flip the toast screen around on the tablet, and you're going to have to pick a number to add a little bit of a percentage tip on absolutely every transaction. That's out of control. The thing is, as far as what we can do, there's nothing you can do.

That's just baked into how we do business in America. In fact, I expect it to get worse. When we have a new law that says there's no taxes on tipping, I feel like that's just going to lead to even more of this, right? Are people going to tip less? Are people going to tip less? Or actually what I think what will happen is just like service workers will be paid even less and they'll have to rely even more on tips for their compensation.

Yeah, or more things will become tips. More things will become tips and more jobs that weren't previously tipped jobs will become things where there's some gratuity expected. I'm going to eat some of this chocolate cake. That's a good question. I don't I don't I mean I... So you mean like only in tip culture like restaurant culture is like what can you do while you're at a restaurant to like make them feel special the people that are serving you as opposed to the other way around? Or is it specifically tipping? Hank's question was

What how do we change tip culture in America? I think that's generally more of what he was getting at. Pay everyone a living wage. And then tips won't be something that are such a big deal. And that has to be mandated by legislation, which would be turned over by the Supreme Court. So it would never happen, Hank. Or make menu prices exactly how much labor costs. Put everything into the amount on the menu.

Yeah. Which is already overinflated anyways. I mean, like we were just, we talked about a thing earlier today of how Pizza Hut pizzas were $20 per pizza. Yes. Restaurants have tried that, Amelia, and it is a good pitch and it feels like a solve, but restaurants have tried that and customers rebel

because they see a higher price in front of them and they're like, I'm not paying that. Right, they seem to like it better if they see a lower price on the menu, but then I think at the bottom, it's like, there's a 3% back of house charge and then an 18% front of house charge. Like a service charge, yeah.

So then you end up still paying the same amount as if it was big. That's just a psychological thing. It is, but people are dumb. Yeah, Emma's right. People are dumb. That psychological aspect is important and that's what people are habituated to.

So I think that, yeah, unfortunately, it would be nice if that was a solve but I did like how you're like it's systemic and it will only change through legislature as you were just eating a piece of cake. This cake is good as hell. It's very very good. That's that's that I mean that's kind of where I land is just kind of retreating into simple pleasures you know I mean just like like that yeah the world is fucking horrible but I'm enjoying this this piece of cake. I don't know how Porto's does it, but their prices are

still fairly low. Like their end of it, like that cake was $30, which is maybe a lot for a pastry. One and one half Pizza Hut pizzas. But that's a huge, yeah, exactly. That's a huge cake. We all had some and there's more than half of it left. Like you could do that for a whole party and it's only 30 bucks. That's awesome.

That's not bad. Like you can get a croissant for $3. Like it's not, it's like, I don't know how they keep their prices low. Eva, it was your episode, one of your, another one of your great episodes, you've done the podcast over the years, so you've been so generous with your time. We went to movies and it was on your episode.

Oh yeah. Where over the price of the cocksmoker chicken sandwich, I exclaimed like, it cost $30. And I'm realizing now in a few years, that'll just be like the cost of everything. Everything we've ordered today cost like $26, $27. Things just cost $30 now. Lunch is just $30.

It's no longer even notable. And that was just a few years ago when $30. Who did $40 a day? Was it Rachel Ray? Or does her name just rhyme with $40 a day? I think that was Rachel Ray. That was Rachel Ray. It was Rachel Ray.

Hey, good rhyming by her. But the $40 a day feels even more impossible now. If you're not tipping somebody. Like you're living on $40 a day? Yeah, she used to be like, I'm going to try to eat breakfast, lunch. She would eat a whole day's worth of stuff for $40 a day. It's like, that's impossible.

That show does not exist anymore. That show is bullshit, right? Yeah, it's probably bullshit day's worth of stuff for $40 a day. It's like, that's impossible. That show does not exist anymore. That show is bullshit, right? Yeah, it's probably bullshit. It's fair. Fuck you, Rachel Ray. She was just sneaking a granola bar or something. She wasn't, like, subsisting on $40. You had your fucking, your pocketbook

was filled with fucking granola bars. That's fucking bullshit. She bought them yesterday. It doesn't count towards this $40. Yeah, that show, I think, was just bullshit, but it was fun to watch. Yeah, I don't know if there is a way to fix it, and I overly tip, and I think sometimes we talk about this and people are like, that's crazy that you tip so much,

but we're lucky to have, make money from this show, and I try to tip, I try to tip like always at least 30%. It's such a clear for us specifically. Sure. We have a podcast about chain restaurants and we make good money off of it. There's no reason for us specifically to not be overly generous when we're tipping people.

But the whole system is rotten. No one should, like tipping should not be, like what people were saying earlier, people should be paid a living wage and should not be, like what people were saying earlier, people should be paid a living wage and should not be relying on tipping to make ends meet. And it should be a thing that, yes, is optional for exceptional service, but unfortunately it's expected for any service. And now this is the sort of things like, hey, someone gave me shitty service and they were, you know, like everything about this experience sucked. I'm still giving them 20% minimum because I know,

it's like you're in an Uber driver, you have an Uber driver who endangers your life and you're still like, well, I'm giving them five stars because they don't want this person to lose their job because that's how all these things, that's just, it's fucking horrible. In that case, maybe you don't give them five stars. I think a server could call me a dumb ass tiny dick

and I would give them 20% tip no matter what. I think there's like, I mean, I'd probably be funny. The manager could call the police. The very kind. And he could put the dirty rag on the table. I gave $20, I went to Del Taco Wags, and I gave the guy at the drive-thru $20, and he went, huh?

And he was like, what is this? And I was like, it's for you. And he goes, why? And I was like, it's just for you, for doing what you do. I mean, I think people at drive-thrus never tip. Yeah, yeah. Especially cash. And well, he came back and he was like, do you want like a milkshake?

And I was like, no. I wasn't trying to bribe. I wasn't trying to like win a milk. It was like very nice that he offered it. I could have gotten a milkshake if I wanted a milkshake. But I was just trying to, but he like truly didn't get it, which is a bummer. I mean, like, you know, that fast food windows,

you're not going to get tipped anyways. Probably dealing with the worst of the people in the world. But it's only a matter of time before you're at a fast food window and they got the tablet and they're like, yeah, we can just, yeah, they're just going to ask you a question right there. And they turn the screen around and all of a sudden get it. They do that at Starbucks.

They'll like hand the little thing out the window and they're like, here, she's just going to ask you some questions. And it's like the tip of the mouse. Exactly. She won't eat it. They do that at Starbucks. They'll like hand the little thing out the window and they're like, here, she's just going to ask you some questions. And it's like the tip of the mouse. Exactly. She won't eat it. She won't eat it. Phew.

Do you want me? You're too big. It's going to ask you some questions. It's going to ask one question. Yeah, yeah. I know what it's going to ask. Do you like me? Yes, no.

Also, what did I presume? Wow. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at FeedBag at BirdFuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GODO. That's 830-463-6844. Our producers Emma Erdbrink, our associate producers Amelia Marino, our supervising video producers Casey Donahue, our video editor is Mike Dorfman. Mitch, since this is our 500th episode. Yes. There is someone we should shout out that we haven't talked about on the podcast for a while, but was a part of the first episode and was a part of how the show started

and helped bring the show into existence. So just want to say a thank you to our original producer, Dustin Marshall, for being a part of the show and for helping us launch Doughboys those first couple of years. Doughboys apparel and merchandise available at kinshipgoods.com. And you can get the Doughboys double at patreon.com slash doughboys. Eva Anderson, thank you so much for coming back.

Thanks for having me. What a hoot. Anything you'd like to plug? Abolish ICE, get the military out of downtown LA. Love it. Fuck Trump, fuck Dr. Phil, who's doing ICE raids for some reason. What the fuck?

Yeah, just all these ghouls. That guy always just sucks. Fuck Stephen Miller, he went to Stanmo High, fuck Dr. Phil, who's doing ICE raids for some reason. What the fuck? Yeah, just all these ghouls. Fuck Stephen Miller, he went to San Mojai, fuck him. Yeah, get the federal government out of fucking downtown LA and stop deporting people and leaving their kids alone. And yeah, that's what I wanted to plug. Yeah. My Switch 2 is on the bottom of that list, to be clear. Yeah. My Switch 2 is on the bottom of that list, to be clear.

Do you have any final thoughts, Wags? 500 episodes. Thank you to all the listeners that listen to the show. Thank you for all our guests over the year, Eva especially. Thank you, Wags. Well, thank you to the dais, to all three of you guys. And Drop, King, and Fish and everyone who is a Vinod, everyone who has helped with with with the show over time and and for people

listening and to such a dumb show. And we're very lucky to have it. Yeah. And yeah, I'm lucky to have you too, I guess. I'm lucky to have you, buddy. Any thoughts? That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time, I'm Spoonman Mike Mitchell. I'm Tiger Weiger. Happy eating. Wait, wait.

I have a couple old friends that I, that, uh, that, that this is a little throwback. I have a, just a message from, uh, in a moment of meow. Irma, 500 episodes of doughboys. What do you think? You think it sucks? Irma. Oh, Wally, what do you think? You like it, but you're an incel.

That's it. Hey, Gorge, it's me, Got Mik. And me, Violet Tchotchke. And we want you to listen to our podcast. No, Gorge. Now on Headgum. Each episode, we will be bringing you vlogs, answering burning questions, discussing what's

going on right now, and diving into all things fashion, hookups, gossip, and more. With past guests such as Heidi Klum and Deedavon Tease, NoGorge always keeps things hot. Listen to NoGorge on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Thursday. Bye Gorge!