Doughboys - Chili's with Eva Anderson

Episode Date: May 21, 2015

On the premier episode of Doughboys, fast food chain connoisseurs Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger discuss Chili's with guest Eva Anderson!Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In 1975, Larry Levine opened a casual, full-service restaurant on the corner of Greenville Avenue and Meadow Road in Dallas. Levine modeled its menu and atmosphere off of his passion for a Texas tradition, the chili cook-off. 40 years later, this simple, roadhouse grill has blossomed into a multinational corporation, with over 1,500 locations and places such as Egypt, Taiwan, and El Salvador. Though pure as cry-fowl, this restaurant chain is most responsible for popularizing Tex-Mex cuisine, introducing dishes such as fajitas and baby-back ribs to the masses.

Today on Doughboys, we're talkin' chilies. Welcome to the show, everyone. Welcome to Doughboys. My name is Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, Mike Mitchell. Mitch, how are you doin'? I'm doing well. That was, like, a beautiful poetry, the way you just said. Thank you.

I appreciate it. Yeah, you know, I mean, I think we wanna add a little bit of gravitas to what we're doing. This is a podcast, this is our inaugural episode, and this is our podcast about chain restaurants, which is a passion of both Mitch and myself, and each episode we'll be tackling a different chain restaurant in this episode for our first one we're talkin' about chilies, which I think is, I'd say, one of the main ones, wouldn't you? Main is the right word to use? I think, I would like to say it's kind of a well-respected chain restaurant, if I kind

of had a sum it up. Like, I feel like a lot of people like chilies, when I told people I was goin' to chilies, everyone's like, oh, chilies is great. You know, it was kind of the response I got from it. So I think that this one is, it's a good one to start off on. I think it's, if you asked people, you know, if this was Family Feud, and you said, chain restaurants, I think chilies might be one of the first ones out of people's mouth. I think it would be the number one spot.

Yeah, I think maybe number two or three, but it would be up there. Oh, wow, okay. Yeah. I would think there, I know, I'm not trying to undercut you. It could be the number one. No, you're right. It would be two or three. It might also be two or three.

Anywhere from one to three, I think, is where chilies could fall in the Family Feud. Nick is a writer for the Family Feud at this fair time. Let us introduce our guest. She is a writer for You're the Worst on FX and Soon to Be on FXX and Comedy Bang Bang on IFC. Very funny person and a dear friend, Eva Anderson. Hello, Eva. Hi there.

Eva, thank you so much for doing our first episode. We're so happy to have you. Oh, I'm so pleased and honored to be here. I'm so excited. Mitch and I were talking, and one reason we thought of you is because we're talking about chain restaurants, which is such a big thing of Americana, but I think we also think of you, and I'm not sure if this is your perception of yourself, but we think of you as one of the more cultured people we know.

Oh, thanks. Yes, I agree with that. I mean, you are very cultured, and also I feel like everyone we know is very uncultured too. Yeah. So you really shine amongst the people I know. Oh, I flattered. Thank you, Mitch.

So how do you, generally speaking, how do you feel about chain restaurants? I actually really like them a lot. I have a really... I don't go to them a lot, but I grew up for a lot of my life in the suburban sprawl outside of Seattle, kind of the area where Microsoft is. And so it was one of those places where it was really exciting to go to a chain restaurant, and it was like a big family thing, or it's where you would hang out with your friends after school if you were hanging around late at night.

I didn't drink or do drugs or have sex, so I pretty much just went to Red Robin with my friends or Denny's. And then in LA, I think we have some laws that make it more difficult to open chain restaurants in the LA area that franchises. Yeah, I don't know how much of that is legal and how much of that is just like the economics of it. As LA residents, when we want to go to a chain restaurant, it's like a drive. In the LA metropolitan area, for me, I got to go 40 minutes if I want to go to a restaurant

that would have been a 10-minute drive from my house in Long Beach, California. I would say that this Chili's was located in Encino, so it was a little bit of a drive. Maybe these days in the future will be looked upon like prohibition was, people will be upset that now there will be chain restaurants in every corner in Hollywood. Actually, there could be. Hollywood has a lot of chains that are just nothing, kind of like garbage, post-apocalyptic, kind of like... Hooters, you mean, or different?

Just like big chains. I told you, I went to Little Caesars the other day. That entire strip, it's on, I think, a Santa Monica Boulevard, which no one knows, but who cares. It's this huge, huge strip, and literally the only thing I can see that has lights on and looks like it's active is the Little Caesars, and everything else is just kind of like defunct. Yeah, yeah. Which is also sad, sorry for bringing it up, but it's like a sad state, but it is that

kind of weird thing of like, why isn't there a big Chili's right in the heart of town? I think people would love it. There's a Hard Rock Cafe in Hollywood. Yeah, I think the one stretch where you will get it is sort of this Hollywood and Highland stretch where it's like... Which is kind of the touristy Hollywood Boulevard area, and that'll be places where... But the chains you'll see there are like the Hard Rock Cafe. I think there's a Rolling Stone rip-off of the Hard Rock Cafe.

Am I right about that? Really? Oh, man. There's the Sammy Hagar's Cabo Wabo Cantina, there's one of those. But yeah, I don't think there's like the more mainstream chains that you maybe will find in the suburbs. Yeah, but if you're in Times Square, you can go to Olive Garden, you can go to the tallest TGI Fridays in the world, which I spent a lot of time at.

Plus, you can go to things that are like future chains like Guy Fieri's American Bar and Grill, which I went to. And also, the last time I was in New York, I went there by myself and I went to the Cake Boss restaurant by myself. Oh, do they just serve cake at the Cake Boss? Yeah, it's just a bakery. But it has a big statue of him. And there's a scary themed bar and restaurant called Times Square.

Oh, what's Times Square? It has a haunted house all year round in it, and it's just a spooky bar. I gotta say that in the last few years, we've really extended Halloween stuff. You know, there was always like Halloween stores, but now you can really... You can get your scares in 24-7, 365. No matter what, you can get a scare whenever you want it. There's always some scary stuff going on. It's strange to me, right?

Yeah. I feel like The Walking Dead got really big as a show, and now there's like kind of like... There's a maze in New York City. You can go to it like you were saying in Vegas, they have the scare thing where they blindfold you and put you through. It's interesting to me, but it doesn't have to do with food. Yeah. I'm surprised by the persistence of haunted hay rides.

Yeah. It feels like an old-timey tradition that should have died out. It's 2015, and people are going on haunted hay rides all the time. The one in Griffith Park is terrifying. It's good, yeah. It's one of the scariest things at Halloween. That's why Mark Cuban invested for Shark Tank, actually. Oh, yeah?

He truly did. Wait, are you sure he didn't... Sorry, are you sure he didn't invest in the Great American camp out? Scary camp out? It was the same people who did the hay ride that were there. The hot weather. Okay, sharks. We got something for you, and then zombies came out, and all the sharks were scared.

The sharks don't usually get scared, so it was a big moment. Anyway... The sharks got scared. I want to say that, for me, Chili's is kind of a big deal for the reason in that it was kind of the first chain I really went to or even thought about when people were like, oh, there's a Chili's in Braintree or something, and I was like, oh, crazy, and they have buffalo fingers and stuff like that, and so it was kind of my first real experience with a huge, huge chain.

And besides, Chuck E. Cheese, it kind of brought it into the adult realm for me, so that was a reason why it kind of stands out in my mind. Well, you and I were talking earlier, Mitch, and you had... That was like... Because you're from Quincy, Massachusetts. Yes. Like, Chili's was kind of the big thing there, right? Well...

Or is this a more of a personal thing? I don't know if Quincy officially has a Chili's. They have a TGI Fridays. But in Ithaca... Oh, this is where you went to college, I'm sorry. Yeah, I went to Ithaca in upstate New York, and a Chili's opened there, I think, like my sophomore year, and we went to Chili's quite a bit, and I remember it fondly, which is maybe like a sad state for my college experience, and I was like, I liked those days of going

to Chili's with my friends and like eating the chips and getting like frozen margaritas. But it was a place we went to quite a bit, and it was like, there's not a lot to do in Ithaca, so maybe that's a part of it, and it was just kind of like... I felt like an adult, and was drinking margaritas and watching basketball games, it was a blast. So it was kind of... It holds a little spot in my heart. I really... I love the place, so...

Well, let's get into it. Let's talk about Chili's. So, Eva, you went recently, you went on a trip this past week, correct? Yes. Tell us about your experience. I went with... I had the same thing happen where I told the people at my job that I was going to Chili's for a podcast, and one of the writers, Shane, went, oh, I love Chili's, look, can I come

with you? So he drove an hour, it was an hour drive from downtown at Rush Hour to get to Chili's in the rain. Apologies. No, no, it was great. We got there, and do you want me to just break down my trip? Go for it. Okay, so, yeah, so we got inside, it was six o'clock, it was pretty empty.

We sat at our little booth, they only had little booths, and I ordered a skinny margarita, and he ordered a giant beer, one of the house brews, maybe they had a house brews, he'd ordered some beer, and then we noticed the first thing that popped out, of course, can we talk about the Ziosk? I think we have to, yeah, so if you haven't been to Chili's in the past few years, I'm not sure how recent of an innovation this is, it feels pretty recent, but the new feature on the tablescape is the Ziosk, which is, it's basically a tablet on a stand that allows a party to order a limited number of things from the menu.

You still mostly order from your server, but I think you can order dessert from the Ziosk, and then it also has some touch screen features like you can play bejeweled on it, and it also serves the purpose of when you pay your check at the end of the meal, you have to use the Ziosk, you don't pay your server anymore, so it's a little strange, I'm not sure if you had the same thing from your server, but our waiter at some point said, here's the Ziosk, this is going to make my job obsolete, like. He said those words? Yeah, he did, and it was kind of like laughing about it, but then I was also like, well,

it's kind of true, this is messed up. Yeah, it really, it's like a, like they're trying it out while they still have waiters there, and then you can kind of see the writing on the wall, I guess, if you work there. There's a button on it that says, there's a couple things I liked about it, one of the, one of it was that, because you have a menu, and then you can, there's pictures in the menu and descriptions of the food, but then the same, there's also pictures of the same food on the Ziosk, but you can't order it there, you can just like look at it, and next to the descriptions of the kind of longer descriptions of the food, there's a button

that says, read less, if you just don't want to read it so much, which I liked, and then. Every American loves that phrase. And then there is a button to reorder drinks, but it's kind of tiny, and our waitress, who was very nice, she didn't joke, but she just kept coming by and being like, do you want more drinks, because maybe you didn't see the button on the thing, so she was still asking us if we wanted more drinks, because the Ziosk wasn't, like it didn't totally do the job of being the main thing that you used to get more drinks, I guess. Yeah, you need like an orientation, I feel like, for the Ziosk, it's like a little complicated,

and things are hidden in submenus, and they were, I didn't even know about this, we tried to use the key, the Ziosk, and I didn't even know about that you could reorder drinks from, and our guy just took it from you. I had no idea about that, yeah. It was hidden in the corner. We used it to play trivia against people in, I believe, other chilies around the country. Oh my god. And you could watch them in real time play trivia.

Oh, you have to see them? No, no, you just saw their names. Oh, okay. I was grossed out to be thinking of seeing other Americans eating chilies. But they weren't good at it. When we were doing the health and fitness category, there were like a million categories, and mostly sports, but in the health and fitness categories, there were a lot of normal questions, and then one of them, like, you know, what person won the gold medal for this sport,

or whatever, and then one of them just was like half of a sentence. It was just like, new kind of spin class, and the answer was soul cycle. It was just sort of like, it's like someone just didn't write the whole question. It was really weird. And then there was a bunch of apps. You could play, like, Glance vs. Zombies. I saw that. My friend noticed when he got up, was he walked around and said there were a lot of solo diners,

and they were playing games on the Ziosk. So what it kind of is, I think, is like a screen. If you're just like, you can't deal with eating chilies by yourself. But I don't understand, because like, it costs money to play those games, right? There's like a nominal fee. It's 99 cents for the Ziosk for the whole meal. So it's 99 cents to use the Ziosk, and I feel like I guess if you don't, why wouldn't you just use your phone?

Almost all the apps you can have on your phone. Yeah. So I don't quite understand the utility of it, but I don't know. I guess it's working for them. It is very strange that I think part of the reason people go to a full-service casual restaurant like a Chili's is for a little bit of hospitality. And I think it makes the whole experience a little colder. It is, but the world is getting colder, and I kind of like...

The world is getting colder? I don't know. Oh, no, it's getting warmer, like literally. But I'm saying... Emotionally? Emotionally, and soon robots are going to do stuff like that. And I think we should... I don't know if a part of me kind of thinks it's cool that they're tackling it a little bit.

Like soon food will come out from a robot. And I think that's cool and kind of Jetson-like. Jetson's-esque. But I feel like... Yeah, you're right. There's always that thing of, hey, I need to pay in cash, or I need to do this or that. And also just talking to a human being. Although, I feel like our guy was joking so much.

And I think I preferred the Zios to our server. Not to be a jerk. He was a nice man, but he was... Full disclosure, right? Jack Alice and my roommate called the head to Chili's as a joke to tell him that two reviewers were coming. So when we got there, I think they were looking for two guys and they were like, is your booth up to standard?

And we were like, yeah, the booth is fine. Everything is good. And he will never do that again. But I had to get that off my chest because Jack did do that. Jack shouldn't have done that. I know, I know. I think we got a pretty fair experience of what it was overall anyways. I also don't think that they cared at all.

What are you reviewing at this point? How can you hurt them? Yeah, I think Jack said that the response to him calling was kind of like, what? And then, okay. And then he was like, do you have any suggestions? And the guy was like, burgers are good. Like didn't really give like any real things.

So, but I had to get it off my chest. It was something that Jack did, but I don't think it made our experience any different. I don't think it didn't feel like it contaminated the experience. It did not, no. So let's talk about the food. So what did you order, Eva? We ordered the two for 20 special, which is a dinner special where you get for $20, one appetizer, and two full-size entrees off of specific lists.

So we got fried pickles as our appetizer. And then Shane got the half rack of baby back ribs, original style. And I got Chipotle honey chicken crispers. Gotcha. So those are like a chicken tenders with sort of a glaze? With a dowsing of a thing. Let's start with the apps, because you had the fried pickles. We had, we got a three-way apps.

So we got the crispy cheddar bites, which are a recent addition to the menu, as I believe the fried pickles are too. They're newer apps. We got the boneless buffalo wings, which are Chili's classic. I think they were the first franchise to have boneless wings. Yeah. And I think they do it pretty well. They do a great job with their boneless wings.

I really think that they're great. In other places, they sometimes get kind of too slimy, like coated in buffalo sauce. They do a good job. I think the issue with boneless wings is that a lot of times they lose like kind of the textural quality of eating like a wings. And I feel like they retain it a little bit with whatever breading they do at Chili's. And then we also got the Southwest egg rolls,

which I think are another kind of Chili's signature. What did you think of the fried pickles? I was disappointed. I found them very underdone. They were white. They didn't even have any really golden brown coating. Wait, like the outside was white? Yeah, which is not what you want your fried pickle to be.

And they were coins, which I prefer a spear on a fried pickle. I should have seen that in the photo and just chosen differently, but I did the fried pickle. The buttermilk dipping sauce was fine, but overall I found the pickles a little underwhelming. We were, with our triple combo, we got three dipping sauces. And I think for, until we were 90% done with them, they were three of the same sauce.

They were just like three different white, creamy, different salad dressings basically. And eventually Mitch figured out that one of the three was blue cheese and not buttermilk ranch. The other two could have been different. We're still not sure. They were just white. And they were good. I liked every dip that was there, but it was just kind of a white gloop, like a ranch slash whatever sauce, buttermilk.

Yeah. There's a lot of shit in there. Who knows? I had a similar reaction to the crispy cheddar bites. They weren't prepared incorrectly. They were nice and golden brown, but they were just a little bit of an underwhelming. I think globs of mozzarella with some sort of coating on the outside.

Not even cheddar? Oh, I guess they were cheddar. They said cheddar. I don't know. They tasted like mozzarella to me. They were, for all of our Midwest listeners, they reminded me there's no listeners yet. They reminded me a lot of cheese curds. They were just kind of like, they reminded me of like when I went to Wisconsin and had cheese curds.

And they were good. They were just, you know, like terribly bad for you. But we kind of, we wolfed those down. Yeah, we got through them. We definitely enjoyed them. Yeah. And then Boneless Wings, we talked about Southwest egg rolls. What did you think, Mitch?

I enjoyed them. I know that Nick really burned his mouth when he ate one of the Southwest egg rolls. And maybe you can take some points off for that. But they're good. I'm not really a big egg roll guy. Oh, you are? I'm not. No, I don't know.

Like, especially just like vegetable egg rolls. I'm like, I don't know. You don't like fusion egg rolls, really? I like, if there's like a little chicken in there or something, which these do have, I enjoy them. And I kind of like this more because it's like, like a Tex-Mex, like corn and black beans and stuff. But like a traditional Chinese egg roll, that's just kind of like the vegetables, veggie egg roll. It's not my favorite thing in the world. These are pretty far removed from egg rolls, though, I feel like.

100%. They're nothing like them. They're closer because they got black beans, I think. Maybe corn, some chicken. They're kind of like a fajita roll-up that's deep fried is the best way to describe them. They have some fusion egg rolls at California Pizza Kitchen as well. I believe they have a variety of a couple different types you can get. So, Eva, you mentioned this to us before we started.

You worked at California Pizza Kitchen, is that correct? For two years in college, I was a host and then a waiter. And I pulled a chair out from under a woman while she was sitting down. She fell on the floor and she was holding a baby. Oh my gosh. Didn't get fired for that. Stuck around long enough to quit. And the baby was okay?

Everyone was fine. Okay. There was no one gotten. I didn't even get in trouble. Did they get a comped meal? Yeah. Okay, well, there you go. My boss, Tom, who would later would get fired for showing up at work drunk,

talked the woman down and convinced her he was going to fire me. And then she came to my defense. He wasn't. He just told me to hide in the back. And he's like, I'm handling this. He was like, Eva feels really bad at what she did. But I won't accept her apology. She will pay.

Oh my God. And then the woman was like, don't fire her. And so it all turned out fine. And then later when he showed up drunk and got fired, I threw my apron down. I was like, you fired Tom then I quit because I knew I was like on borrowed time because Tom covered for me constantly. Because you kept pulling chairs out from. That's terrible my job.

I like wouldn't wash my shirt. I was like disgusting. I was like, Eva, we kind of built you up as one of the classiest people we know. I'm not that classy. Um, that your whole experience kind of reminds me of that Dane Cook movie where he works in that like Chili's ripoff place. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Waiting.

No. No. It is called waiting, right? Maybe it is waiting. Oh yeah. Ryan Reynolds. And now that title, that title just clicked with me. He's a waiter.

They just clicked with you? Yeah, just clicked with me. What do you think he was waiting for? And also click just clicked with me that. I'm saying the movie because it's a remote control. All right, good. Cool. I knew that I would figure some stuff out.

Oh, go ahead. So, so like, uh, let's start your, your, like that seems like such a dramatic cinematic exit like spiking your apron. And that was, that was the end of your tenure at California Pizza Kitchen. Uh, yeah, I didn't actually physically do it, but I did tell them I was quitting. And then they kept calling me from corporate saying, don't quit. They don't want me to quit because Tom was fired. And I had to finally tell them, look, you don't want me

as a waiter at your restaurant. I pulled a chair out from under a woman and she fell on the ground. It's not on my record, but like you should stop calling my house. Tom's doing great now. He lives in the Hamptons. Oh, good for him. He changed careers. How's the baby?

I, no, no, I think something terrible could have happened. I don't know. Jesus. Um, no, she's fine. She wasn't even crying. She's everything turned out fine. It was a very slow fall, like a really slow fall. Yeah, it's good.

And it kind of, it builds a baby up and makes them stronger. Yeah. It was just a moment of confusion. I thought she was kicking the chair away. She said, I need a high chair. She kicked the chair away. I thought she meant put the high chair there. So I pulled it away.

Was she a mean lady? The, the, or was she very nice? She was just confused. She was so confused as to what was happening. Tom Hanks came in once too. Really? Yeah. Tom Hanks went to a California pizza kitchen.

Yeah. With Rita Wilson and two little boys. And I realized now one of them was Chet Hayes. Oh my God. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, that's crazy. Did he wrap his order to you?

No. He was like 10, but he left greasy little hand prints all over the big glass window. Oh, Chet. Watch those hands. Or Tom Hanks, tiny baby hands. I don't know. I didn't look.

This is probably, I think it's Tom Hanks, tiny baby hands. You know, after he did big, everything went back to the normal size besides his hands. So, all right. Mitch, I don't think you understand how movies work. I think you understand the difference between fiction and reality. It's my first bomb.

I was going to say, just quickly. So, this idea of celebrity, you grew up in a Hollywood family, right? Right. And your father was an actor. And did he take you guys to like, would you go to chain restaurants? Was that still a big part of your life?

Yeah, my dad kind of is very weird about restaurants. And any place he lives, there's like maybe two places he'll go, period, he'll eat at, just hates new things. So, when we lived in Seattle, we would, outside Seattle, we would only go to this one chain Mexican restaurant. And then he was, he did TGI Fridays commercials up in the Northwest. And so, we got, he got a card that meant he could eat for

free at any TGI Fridays. So, we would go there a lot. He got a TGI Fridays black card. He got a black card, yeah. Expired though. It expired. I tried to get it for a moment. He was like, no, it doesn't work anymore.

Or else, he just threw it away. I don't know. But we went to TGI Fridays a lot. And I love that place. Yeah. That's interesting to hear. I just read a thing on Jared Focal, which- Oh, Jared.

How's he doing? Can't believe I spent time reading. He's good. Did he gain the weight back? No, he's not. He's trim. And he's with his second wife and he has a couple kids. But I also was reading some stuff about Jared being

kind of a jerk. Oh, he's mean? Yeah, I think he's kind of a mean man. Does he get free subway at all the subways? He's walking and like, I'm Jared. Well, the thing I read, it was an older article. I read kind of multiple articles on him. It was, he didn't, like in an interview, he was like, no,

I wish I could get one of those. And then I read a later one that was like, he uses his subway black card all the time. And I was like, oh, he must have pushed for one at some point and got his subway card. But why didn't they just give him one? Well, why wouldn't you? Yeah, I don't know.

That's a good point. He's a good example of eating subway. He's the only man to lose weight eating subway. That can't, you know, I coincidentally had read Jared Focal's Wikipedia entry within the past month. And that campaign began in 1999. That's been going for a while. It's crazy.

So he's like, if you were born the year that Jared Focal started doing subway ads, you can now legally drive a car. It's like a lot of time has passed and he's just a celebrity that everyone knows. There was all those babies nine months after the first Jared Focal subway ads. The old Focal babies. Let's get back to Chili.

So talking about your mains, remind us again what you got for your entree? Chipotle chicken crispers served with corn on the cob and steak fries. Gotcha. All right. And the baby back ribs also served with fries. Now Mitch got the baby back ribs for his main.

And you talked about your friend got the original sauce, but Chili's now offers a few different sauces. And the ones you got were Dr. Pepper was one of them. Yeah. It's a Dr. Pepper sauce and a beer sauce that was a local beer. Right. I think, oh, maybe not. I think they just said craft beer in the actual.

Yeah. And I bit into the craft beer ribs and I was like, whoa, those are the Dr. Pepper ones. That's crazy. And then I bit into the Dr. Pepper ribs and I was like, oh my God, that's the Dr. Pepper ribs. And they taste so much like Dr. Pepper that it's bizarre and gross.

I had one of your ribs and I found like I had one of the Dr. Pepper ribs and I found it repulsive. Like it was really hard. It was so sweet and it tasted so much like Dr. Pepper and that compared with meat was just a very bizarre sensation. Like prunes and sugar. Well, our waiter primed us for it. He was like Dr. Pepper sauce tastes exactly like Dr. Pepper

and he was right. He was unmistakable. Why would? Sorry for giving him a hard time earlier. He was spot on. I've had this thought sometimes that it's so interesting to me that we eat a hamburger and we have it in our mouth and then we wash it down with like an ice cream drink or like the sweetest

thing in the world. We want to have those both in our mouth at the same time. But then yet if the Dr. Pepper is on the meat instead of just being washing down the meat, it's disgusting. That's a good point. I'm not like a bacon and dessert sort of guy. I'm not I'm not big on that. I like to keep my sweet and savory separate.

But I didn't have a problem with the Dr. Pepper sauce as much as Nick did. You were pretty repulsed. But it was still a little strange. I mean it just was that taste of Dr. Pepper. It felt like scientists boiled down this taste and they got it and they now you can have it on anything you want. But the ribs are good and I never had the ribs before and in Chili's they're known for a couple things.

One for their fajitas which we found out and for their baby back ribs which we all know the song and everything like that. Yeah and while we're on that subject if you you no doubt know the song but I'll just go ahead and play it for us. This is from the campaign that began back in the 90s. We all remember that song and then a few years later they took that and it was performed by NSYNC and that was this version. I want my baby back ribs.

I want my baby back baby back baby back. Chili's baby back ribs. The helicopter crashes at the end. I believe that the sound effects that you're hearing are it's a helicopter over a deserted island where they're singing the baby back ribs song for some reason and then a crate I think of ribs drops down and so then they're happy. I think that's what the Ark of that commercial is. They aren't going to last like the ribs are going to go bad.

I would think so yeah that they have a limited shelf life as it is and then on a desert island with no refrigeration I mean they're not long for this world. That's also like if I was on like a beach that's the last thing I'd want it's like sticky ribs. Sandy ribs all over you. That was NSYNC? That was NSYNC yeah they had a they this was uh I don't remember the year but that was after the the Chili's song had been established and and became a part of our culture then yeah a few years later they did they did move with NSYNC.

So you think um sorry Joey Fatoni has a black card? I don't know the perks of doing an ad for uh for Chili's but I think so I would hope so. The fat one as he was known I'm sure he's got a black card he probably took all the black cards. Is that really how he was known? Yeah Joey Fatoni like his like his last name is Fat One. And he was the fat one. And he kind of was the fat one.

He's also like 200 pounds lighter than I am by the way. I know too much about NSYNC because I came of age when they were popular and it made me sad. I was like in high school like you know like nine like I graduated in 2001 and it was like NSYNC was the the band that everyone you know was a huge band and I was like oh yeah okay like this is what we're known for this is our generation's music I guess. This will bum me out a little bit but I will say that version of the Baby Back's Rib Song is pretty good. They did a good job.

Yeah it's fine. Yeah it's great. It's also insane like uh would One Direction do like a Burger King I guess maybe they would. I think they of course they would. Yeah they could they could totally find a situation where that was worth their time and money. The Spice Girls had that Pepsi ad. That's true yeah. And there's a full there's a full length version of that song on their second album of their Pepsi

theme song. Oh my god really? Yeah it's like they try to make it a single of just like this is a Pepsi theme because it's but the it's so fake. Do they sing about Pepsi? No they just sing about we're the new generation move over generation next. Oh god. Why not just go for it though like I feel like that's like I I feel like there's not enough

just selling out all the way. I like I like that a lot. I know in Japan there's a they created this video game character Pepsi Man and there's just a Dreamcast game you can play that's called Pepsi Man that's apparently you know pretty playable and it was decently received at the time. But yeah I almost wish there was more just like crass just marketing tie-ins like that. Cool spot for Super Nintendo as a big fan. That's true yeah that's a very that's a very fun game.

And you know that wasn't the end of the Chili's Baby Back Rib song. It's impact on pop culture. It was also famously used by Fat Bastard in Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me. Dr. Evil let me make your deal all right. You get the motor you keep your money and I'll get your baby. All right I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs excuse me chili baby. Yeah not seeing that not only hearing that it sounds like he was really a half-assed.

He kept forgetting ribs was at the end of it. Yeah my guess is that it was an ad-lib on set and that he this was you know this would one of the movie come out 1999 so this wasn't like oh I could just look it up on YouTube and see how the song goes he was just sort of like oh yeah that rib song yeah I remember that and then he was just sort of riffing and they were like this is great let's keep it in but yeah it's really like a it's pretty inaccurate props to Mike Myers for gaining all that weight and losing it though within the course of the movie. Rich you don't know what movies are oh yeah. He wants to eat Vern Troyer's ribs. Yeah he's like yeah.

He wants to eat the meat off of his human ribs. I was saying to Nick that a joke I didn't get while watching that movie it is really funny that he thinks Minnie Meads a baby like that this baby is dressing the suit and can walk around and I guess he doesn't talk right I guess yeah Minnie Mead doesn't talk but you are right he wants to yeah he wants to rip his ribs out and like eat them like he eats ribs so Fat Bastards kind of a really fucked up character. It's really like he's talking about dismembering a small man and then and yeah and eating it with resesitants just his ribs just his ribs yeah he could get normal ribs yeah he could get baby back he could get pork ribs yeah and he's yeah I'm sure he he does pretty well as a villain so he

could do he yeah he probably has money um let's uh let's get back to the the the food so uh what did you think of your entree um I thought the ribs were fine they're a little gray and a little like they a little hospital foodie but but good um and I feel like I'm being I sounds like I'm being really critical but I do love chain restaurant food these were just this came out it was a little they were a little visually underwhelming overall the entrees they were a little like cafeteria looking oh wow well I think one thing to and I think this sometimes is a is a thing to evaluate with chain restaurants is you know the ideal is consistency that you would go to the one and you know uh uh Fairbanks Alaska and it would be the exact same as the one in Sioux City Iowa but

sometimes that's not the case and sometimes you have individual uh uh franchises that really deviate from a quality standpoint from what the corporate expectation is yeah so you can never really you like you can never really account for that and I feel like when you know places that people it's great when you can find a place that's just always like at that same level you know yeah yeah that's this like the good standard and that's sad to hear because I thought chilies was pretty good at that also our ribs were so slathered in that sauce oh yeah that I couldn't see if they were gray anyways but uh the the ribs are fine and they came with the little whitey hand things yeah it's nice and the fries were good um I found the chipotle chicken crispers to be uh have the level the sweetness

problem that your dr pepper ribs did they were basically just soaked in this weird uh like maple syrup that didn't really have a spice to it it was just so sweet that it was just they were very soggy and weird yeah the places throw around chipotle a lot that word and then just sort of generically mean anything that has a little bit of of of spice to it but sometimes the heat is not even really perceptible it's red yeah yeah um yeah it's on that note I had the sweet and smoky burger which was a recommendation um and uh which was basically a uh kind of like a hardy's or Carl's junior style uh barbecue bacon cheeseburger had bacon on it um had a smoky barbecue sauce and had a couple of onion rings and some pickles and I thought it was pretty satisfying but yes it was

a little a little sweet for my uh for my taste it almost like like just to tone that down a little bit maybe a little bit more tang a little bit less sugar yeah acid yeah yeah yeah I would say because I tried some of next burger and it was just so weird that it was called the sweet and smoky burger to me because it wasn't that smoky and the sweetness I didn't get as much sweetness as you did I was just kind of like yeah it's whatever like this just tastes like a regular burger which was good it was very good especially chili's burgers are good but it it didn't it didn't give what it advertised you know I kind of wanted more of that flavor with it I will I will say though I think that I think you do raise a good point like if you're going to chili's I think a burger is a

great option the big mouth burgers by and large they're they're they're very solid and they deliver on what you'd get for what you'd expect from a restaurant burger I like that they call their sandwiches section handhelds sandwiches are just handhelds that that that makes sense that can't that it won't wouldn't be confusing at all to anyone I I feel like does that mean that like they have other things that like you can't even put these things in your hands they're too big is that like what it's trying to say or I don't know I don't know what's behind that one chili's but I really enjoyed the ribs overall I'm not a big rib guy I want to say I've never I've never really like loved loved ribs and I'm sure that people who are like rib enthusiasts are like oh chili's ribs

are garbage you know but I thought they they fell off the bone pretty pretty easily and the and the sauce was pretty good and and because of that song I was like I've never had the chili's baby back ribs and I feel like I need to get them and they were good but my question is is it's called chili's and your great introduction talked about chili there is no chili on that menu is there it's a good point I there maybe it could be mistaken maybe you can get a side of chili maybe you can get chili maybe there's a chili burger somewhere on the menu though I didn't see it but I chili con queso there's chili con queso okay I do know their original menu which I looked up the original like kind of handwritten menu and they have it on the wall as a feature at some some franchises

it lists basically three things it lists chili burgers and tacos so I think the originally chilies had chili and that was a big thing of theirs and I think as they expanded they sort of a sort of excise that from their menu proper yeah it seems weird it seems like it should still be kind of a big dish a non handheld you know it should be somewhere on that of the bowl list or whatever the hell the other ones are then again their iconography is sort of shifted to it's like a chili pepper is more like that's the apostrophe that's their logo is the red chili pepper okay and like if you use the at our location the the door handles were chilies that's a pretty common feature so I think yeah they sort of now they they sort of mean it chilies from a spicy standpoint

which I also don't think too much about chilies I'm not like ooh can't go in there that's spicy stuff you know like a buffalo fingers are good but yeah well whatever it's its own thing now chilies it's the name means something different it's changed but I agree and another thing too is that they were known for their fajitas if you won't if you yeah that's great that's a correct they fajitas were they didn't invent fajitas but they sort of expanded fajitas in the public consciousness and chilies actually patented the sizzle sound that their fajitas make when they're delivered on a skillet how do they patent it I don't know exactly how it works but I they apparently have like some sort of patent on the the particular sound that it makes when

it's in that uh that little iron skillet maybe there's a battery under the skillet or something you know what I wouldn't be surprised I mean that's that's the kind of thing kind of chicanery that sometimes happens in the corporate world but I think like I will say that fajitas and I think I would say this broader than chilies I feel like fajitas always like sound and smell better than they are as like a meal like I feel like anytime like you see someone walking through a restaurant with a plate of fajitas and like everyone's head swivel like whoa what that guy ordered it's like a big event you know and they bring it out and other people are ordering fajitas but I think when you actually get them they're always like all right I'd rather just like have tacos or not

something that I had to fucking assemble myself you know that's Evan Susser told us this fact about the fajitas and he he told me something about how when someone ordered the part of the reason that they got this patent or whatever is when someone ordered fajitas and other customers would would would hear it coming out then like after that there was like some rate in which people continued to order fajitas like it was like every like three minutes after that like a new person ordered fajitas is something very strange but that that sound you know what I think you know what I honestly think it is is that you're at you know like a a big corporate restaurant and the fact that you hear something cooking like you like you're like oh that thing is actually

cooking on the plate there's no way it's not like that chicken's not getting roasted or the steak is not like turning brown maybe that is enough for people to be like I'm gonna eat something that like was truly cooked and not just like came the way it was you know like they didn't open a box and pour like a hot meal out of it or something does that make sense yeah I get it the way they put the fake charbroil burger marks on the burger king burgers oh sure yeah yeah I like that too though honestly I think that that it stands out if you've ever looked at a mcdonald's patty it's very gray just like the ribs you know yeah like I mean all food service is a little bit of showmanship right like I am okay with that I'm okay with it yeah yeah um let's uh let's talk beverages uh uh so uh

I got the uh the El Nino margarita which is one of their signature margaritas and Mitch I believe you got the blueberry pineapple margarita um even what did you get to drink I got the skinny margarita skinny oh that's correct you said that earlier so uh what was your assessment of it it was very sweet but I thought it was pretty solid now is it skinny because it's like uh lower in sugar is that the idea yeah I think it's like a diet or whatever it's like a hundred calories for the whole margarita gotcha it's pretty solid is it a brand is skinny margarita a brand or no it's not like skinny girl okay yeah it's its own thing but actually I've noticed a lot of chain restaurants have like skinny cocktail menus right now sure they're really like Cheesecake Factory has an excellent one

okay um and yeah they're pretty good it was I didn't regret my margarita purchase my issue with my margarita is the it was good but I think just a little on the sweet side and again maybe this is just like a running thing with me maybe I just like prefer less sugar than average but uh I like I feel like the the El Nino margarita which kind of has pineapple chunks in it and um uh I think some pineapple juice uh a lime and orange maybe it's not orange maybe it's lemon um but yeah it's it's a lot of like uh it's it's it's it's a lot of juice feel to it let less margarita than um uh than juicer you're not getting that much of an alcohol bite yeah we were talking about that because I'm rum is one of my favorite booze is to drink and uh and I I as far as liquors go it's kind of like a

sweet you know liquor and it's kind of like served in with juices and but I I love a rum drink that's like kind of has like a tough like I like it sweet but you also get like a kick of that rum and in my drink I had the blueberry pineapple margarita it was just like drinking like a high-c drink or something it was so so sweet it was good it was delicious I really enjoyed it and actually I complained to Nick because in college uh at that Chili's in Ithaca they used to sugar rim your glasses and I think that they still do it and I was really kind of expecting a sugar rimmed glass and I didn't get it and I kind of wanted that full I knew what I was doing when I when I got it I kind of wanted like a the full on sugar experience but uh I didn't get it

but oh sorry no go ahead no you first no just uh it had some fruit in it and uh which I ate and was kind of terrible so go ahead yeah please oh I went to the when I went to Guy's American Kitchen and Bar and Grill or whatever and um I'm blinking on the exact name but in Times Square um I ordered a pumpkin beer and it came rimmed in sugar wow a beer a beer a yeah a pint glass rimmed in like pumpkin spice and sugar it's I like that see because some people are gonna be like that's gross and I'm like well isn't like salting a rim gross too right I don't know I mean I don't have a problem with sugaring the rim but I think I feel like for a beer that seems a little excess was it a super pumpkin-y tasting beer or no it's slightly pumpkin-y the whole experience that was I was startled

by that part of it yeah that feels like a like a strange choice yeah pumpkin shouldn't be eaten I think you know like uh like we put pumpkin a lot of stuff like it's not I've eaten raw pumpkin in a bit before and it's not good yeah you're talking about the time you and the birthday boys ate an entire raw pumpkin on stage yeah we ate an entire raw pumpkin and it's not good it's well you're not supposed to eat it like that Mitch I know I know but is there is there are there other things like that or I mean like maybe dough or something like I would say most food is like that you don't eat raw meat there's you don't need to oh you can't eat raw meat though you don't eat raw potato you can do these things you did eat a raw pumpkin it was a mistake it was not something

you should have done are you just judging all food based on if you cram it in your mouth raw is it good pumpkin pumpkins are big too you're not you know you're not you can't eat those like an apple or something you're not supposed to eat these things wait well you know okay how's this for a thing that you're not supposed to eat so much we got cuckoo crazy with it and we put it in everything we got you know wait wait you're going back to you're not supposed to eat it so much because it's not it's too bigger than an apple and if you eat an entire one raw you'll puke I think your standards for what food can actually because you're really out like bananas because you have to peel that I feel like you you're basically just have apples or like a smaller apple yeah that's I ate

the inside of the pumpkin too I did eat the outer shell a little bit but I also kind of ate the inner shell and the kind of what would you call the guts I guess that's also see pumpkin has hey rich I have a question this entire thing's on YouTube isn't it yes it is oh god we tell people how to find it if you search birthday boys eat a pumpkin on YouTube you can probably see us eat that pumpkin on stage yeah and sadly it's a bit we've done like five times over every Halloween that we've done a show so it's like basically when your laziness like outweighs how much like physical discomfort you're willing to endure you're like well we'll just eat a pumpkin on stage yes a hundred percent that's like people getting naked on stage too I feel like it's a very similar thing it's like

well laugh at this my body I guess or something um uh so uh overall let's uh let's uh let's let's let's sort of give our overall evaluation um uh what do we think about chilies let's say let's say we're gonna rate it on a scale of of one to five forks five being the best uh we'll start with you Eva um I was disappointed with the food uh that was the the worst part of the experience for me though there were the fries were fine um the drinks were better than the food the overall experience was interesting because of the ziosk um I would give it three forks three forks okay fair um I would say I'm gonna be nice to this one I like I really enjoy chilies so I gotta go with four forks I I'm not a huge rib guy um and the rib experience was was nice but I don't like to

get messy we talked about this I don't like it in my hands messy I can't look people in the eye when I feel like I have like like I can't look them in the eyes when I feel like I have food on my face and that's the way I felt the entire time I would like just like a like a shamed or something which is strange and I probably have some other issue but uh that that I I I don't love the rib experience but everything else was good the fries were great the buffalo chicken tenders were are delicious and all the other wraps were good too though I also had broccoli I told them to kind of just serve it how they served it and they brought out it was with fries and broccoli and the broccoli was actually like saltier than the fries uh but then again no one is getting a

big rib plate for the broccoli anyway so four forks overall the our server was nice but a little more bearing I I preferred the the ziosk uh and uh a nice nice atmosphere and uh and also a great lunch companion to my oh boy what a thing to say um uh I'm gonna also go three forks and this is my assessment of chilies I feel like my one word review of chilies as a chain restaurant is solid like it's all like you get you go into chilies you know what you're getting yeah they deliver um uh and I think you know one thing we didn't touch on but I'll I'll bring up real quick is that chilies also has chilies too which is their their airport kiosk version and I like that it's named chilies too like they're just kind of saying like it's it's another chilies we know

sequels are never quite as good as the original but this is this is basically you know what you like and chilies too is fine it's it's actually totally solid as far as restaurant a terminal a airport terminal restaurants go um and part of what what what elevated my last visit our last visit to uh chilies outside of the company a big lug was uh uh uh our waiter who I actually enjoyed uh because I'm a big fan of waiter bits and he had a few good ones um he was really worried about a saving room for dessert like he was really leaning on that uh to the point where at the end he was like you guys promised you saved room for dessert and you didn't do it like he was really like kind of but he was doing it in a fun sort of lighthearted way all right you're right he won me over right

now we didn't we said we said like ah we'll try and then he was like later on you promised which we didn't promise but we sort of like ah all right we wanted to do dessert we were gonna share one but we it was such a huge huge we were so i was ruined for like i was ruined for the day i couldn't do anything else after that meal that should be you know i had a i had a headache that entire rest of the day so i woke up in the night feeling gross oh yeah it was it's yeah you're gonna you're gonna pay the price or go to jim probably should have brought that up that's a thing to keep in mind that add an asterisk to our fork ratings that you will pay for it um uh uh the other waiter bits he had is uh he introduced himself i won't give his real name just in case there's

some uh uh the insino chilies or narcs for whatever reason um uh but he said uh uh my name is peter but i also respond to hey you which i thought was pretty fun i like that and uh there was a point where a baby started crying and uh he came up to us and and commented at by saying um i hope you're enjoying our live music which i thought was really oh i didn't get that you didn't get it and i know because you you responded kind of obliviously you were like this is live referring to the piped in music and then he added on like like yes it's acapella trying to like sorry dude yeah no wonder why i didn't like him i know that he's he's smarter than that um well uh uh we got one three forks one four forks one three forks that's our assessment i think overall we like chilies right like i think

we're yeah um but i was i was i was i just want to say i was sad to hear that the food wasn't consistent with you because that one of the big things and the thing that we talked about was you know a thing that people don't talk about enough is a good fry later if a place change in the oil and trying their apps well and i always feel like chilies is pretty good with with doing stuff like that and then to hear that your your your fried food came out a little wonky was sad to me and and i almost want to bring it down to about three and a half forks but no you wasn't your experience i know i know i know i'm just i'm disappointed my weight trust just real quick was like uh very sweet and a little she seemed a little overwhelmed

but at the end when we said can we get our check she said oh you've never been to this chilies before have you and we were said oh no we have to use the ziosk she's like yeah and she seems so upset that she thought we were mad we're like no we figured it out there's a button she's like okay this is so sad also why don't they just go all in how come you can't order your meal on there i feel like yeah it's it's in this mushy middle right now where you should be able to just use the ziosk for everything and then you're not even talking to anybody or you know like like i don't know like if you do want to pay the server why can't they turn the ziosk around and run your card but they won't let you do it yeah um yeah the ziosk is a is a negative watch for that if you're

if you're gonna be going to chilies and and see how that evolves over the years because i i'm hoping that eventually that's a thing they they sort of scale back um uh so that's our assessment of of chilies but uh there was someone who didn't have such a great experience uh this is a segment that we don't have a name for uh but uh we'll read a one-star yelp review uh of the chain of the week uh or the chain of the episode rather and uh uh for now we'll just call this segment an unsatisfied yelper so this is uh Sean and Katrina P's one-star review of a chilies in Scottsdale, Arizona normally i wouldn't take the time to review a place like chilies we all know by now how unoriginal and uninspiring their menu is and that chilies is the denies of late night grub

well fuck you to denies yeah i know they took two places down well having said this the reason that i'm reviewing chilies today is to tell you about an interesting thing that happened to my bf and hi when we visited this chilies not too long ago first shame on us for resorting to eating here but it was a cold winter night and we didn't want to venture too far from home they live in Scottsdale they live in scott well i'll say the desert does get a little cool uh i don't know it's relative uh their food their t-h-e-r-e food is so forgettable that i honestly can't even remember what we had i just remember that it wasn't that great i think we had some sort of sliders and maybe some tacos that we took a few bites of and quickly got sick of the real reason that i am

writing however is to tell about a lame thing that happened to us when we visited even lammer than the food my boy and i were cuddling in a booth his arm was around my shoulder and his my hand was on his thigh we were talking to each other and laughing to ourselves quietly nothing out of the ordinary if you ask me we'd order dessert and we're eating when all of a sudden the manager of the joint comes up to our booth and says how's the dessert let's keep it a family restaurant before we could even respond he was gone and we just turned to each other with a bewildered look for the next five minutes we couldn't figure out what we had done and the more we thought about it the matter we got it's not like we were having sex on the table or touching

each other inappropriately in the restaurant we were simply sitting too close to each other cuddling and eating our dessert we were so mad that we blew out of that joint and left our unfinished dessert on a table we have never been back and we probably never will since we do not want to eat in a place that reprimands you for cuddling and having a good time if a family restaurant is anything like chilies then i never want to eat in a family restaurant again keep it a family restaurant my ass there's probably more drug deals that go on there than anywhere in scots stale what quite a turn at the end did they not pay for their food i guess they it's it implies that they stormed out without paying and well if i want to say first of all that you spelling

out how they spelled there felt like kind of character assassination on your part oh that's true that's fair um but i agree with you these people i mean i almost agree with that manager i don't you know i don't know how race you got also i thought you were i thought you maybe accidentally were reading some of your chili's fanfic it was really involved it's crazy it's quite a quite a yarn there i think i think they were just fucking in the booth and they got called out on it and then they got mad that's that's how i feel if that's i i take chili's side 100% in this over the pants hj at least yeah yeah yeah i mean like yeah even like i don't i don't know just public the displays of affection i'm not big into that i don't know if it's my irish heritage

but no but you're you know restaurant on top of that like a bit of family restaurant you know i just like this claim that more drug dealers go on there than anywhere else in scott stale now scott stale is a classy city right it's like the nice area next to phoenix where all the rich people live i'm not i get that confused with flagstaff i know flagstaff is the class is the cool like college town up north but saw stale is where all the rich people i did it a guy in phoenix briefly and the kids the punk rock kids in phoenix were at war with the like the posh's in scott stale it's also where what's his name painter of light who's the oh thomas kinkade thomas kinkade i believe operated out of scott stale okay but it's very nice and but i'm sure there's another

place where drug deals go down that isn't the chilies yeah that's that's that that was crazy to me too also that she knew about all of them and she thinks that a lot of them go down there makes me feel like she might have had a little hand in that world or she bought drugs she bought drugs there at some point and maybe she was the one who ordered the guy to go get the drugs at the chilies too well now who's doing character assassination this lady i'm not a big fan of hers but um if you're out of chilies the only reason you should be licking lips is because you got barbecue sauce all over them not because you're licking your lover's lips all right uh uh uh so that'll do it uh that'll do it for chilies it's time for uh something we call snack or

whack so uh that's what we're calling it i don't know you surprised me with this one segment names are tbd like if you got a better better ones email doeboyspodcast at gmail dot tweet at us that let us know let us know we got something better this snack or whack i it was the first thing i thought of and i just ran with it that's that's what was my process behind that um anyway we've got these uh uh chewy chips ahoy made with Reese's peanut butter cups so these are like a chocolate chocolate chip cookie that has Reese's peanut butter cups inside of this i have never had these have either of you guys had these no no can you eat them uh huh oh great great all right let's i'm gonna open this up opening this up now that's the sound you're hearing me opening this

chips ahoy and these are chewy they are fresh and let's dig in so unlike regular chips ahoy they it's a it's a chocolate cookie it's a chocolate cookie yes but the other the the chewy you know the chewy texture i don't know what to think you know it's kind of that weird thing of the regular chewy chips ahoy like they taste like kind of fresh baked cookies and you lose that a lot with these right like yeah maybe they'd be better with a little bit in the microwave i'm not picking up much peanut butter i don't know about you guys you don't mind i think the thing that's good about Reese's is the salt and it gets kind of swallowed up by what's going on in the cookie these could almost just as easily be a chocolate chocolate chip cookie yeah um i feel

like you'd buy these because you see the Reese's and you're like oh that's great that's my favorite thing Reese's peanut butter cups and i'm gonna have one with it in a chip ahoy and then you're not really getting it yeah that it's a weird thing of i would rather have Reese's peanut butter cups or i would rather have chewy chips ahoy than than this yeah or Reese's pieces or just peanut a handful of peanut butter chips out of the freezer yeah yeah these these are i don't know it it's not doing it for me they're not bad by any by any means i feel like they're not bad but i also heard that to make chips ahoy like the the soft like whatever that soft texture where it's like feels like it was just cooked there's like a lot of chemicals that they have to add to it like these

cookies are like some of the worst things that you can eat apparently sure yeah so i don't know if you maybe you should just stay away from these things all together i'd say if i if our options are snack or whack and i'm sticking with that um i'm gonna go with whack i'm also gonna say whack i'm gonna say whack but i would also like eat a bunch more of these but i've noticed you've already got in for multiple cookies you're the one person who's had more than one uh well mic it's not a cookie counting podcast i've had a question for Eva before of course we start wrapping stuff up yeah now i i asked you this before yeah did your father ever incorporate magic into any of your meals because i know your father is a magician yes my dad's harry anderson from night court

the magician actor and did he i know that you went to the magic castle a lot growing up and there is a great restaurant in there but at home because when i was younger when i i i loved magic and i i went through a phase where i bought a lot of stuff and was trying to do magic for a little while and i would always do stuff at the kitchen table at dinner oh yeah um yeah yeah of course he would do um he had a lot of little tricks on him he has some really good um kind of pocket tricks that he does that my brother can do as well like little like tricks with a dollar bill but there's one trick he taught me when i was a kid that i still do all the time which is you um if you're in a diner that has creamers the ones with the little paper

top you tuck one into your hand oh my god and you start rubbing your eye and you start acting like your eye itches i did this in front of like a seven-year-old boy the other day freaked him out and then you're just like oh my eye is really itching you grab a fork and you stab it it looks like into your eye but you really just stab the creamer and then white cream pours out all over the table oh my god you just popped your eye with a fork and just and white stuff went everywhere i swear to god i did this trick when i was younger at my kitchen table did your dad ever like do that on tv as a thing i think he did it once on um on letterman with a with a pencil that because because it was a thing that i learned it and

then i was like i'm gonna do this and i went into the kitchen and did it and i did that exact same trick and i had a steak knife oh and i went through it and it hit the plastic part and like put it back into my eye you stabbed your eye i was so close to stabbing my eye like it nearly went through and i was like oh i shouldn't do that ever again but it was like everyone was like michael and they were like they were like oh my god what is that it looks so cool and i i'm trying to figure out where i learned that trick and it might have been your dad did he had a book called games you can't lose i think it was in there or um okay but also i think it's a pretty common like uh yeah um there's a guy matt king who's a really awesome magician who has a place in

vegas he's a show in vegas and he also taught me one that you can do where you cut the little corner off a pad of butter a foil pad of butter and if you do it the right way it makes it look like you're squeezing a pimple out of the table and butter's coming out but the if you get a chance be very careful or with your eyes but if you do that fork in the creamer thing i guarantee it's like the most disgusting thing people really freak out yeah don't use a sharp knife or use just a fork use a fork and just do it lightly yeah and just and then just rub your eye and go like oh i feel better but just yeah i did it up in ohai or yeah and the waitress walked up in the middle of it and she was like looked at my boyfriend like what the is she your girlfriend like she was

so like uncomfortable and she was like and i just made the table messy that's great yeah it's great it's super funny so he so so yeah he would do some a few tricks yeah that's great yeah it was good there you go uh well yeah so uh yeah if you've got some creamer on hand uh go for it use a fork not a knife i think that's our lesson um uh before we go uh we uh just like a restaurant we value your feedback uh so uh this is another segment i arbitrarily named that bitch will lay into me for let's open up the feedback so uh we will since we don't have any listeners yet we solicited for emails on uh facebook um and today's email comes from Hank Friedman who is a friend of mine um i know one of your friends we discussed the head of time which email to use

this wasn't me choosing i know but yeah uh a very talented editors worked on uh county bang bang other other other shows um his email reads whenever i pick up a hot and ready pizza from Little Caesars i always force a tip on the cashier even though they are not allowed to accept tips it's a hot and ready tip and ditch i wonder if they have to throw the money away i guess what that leads us into is like the like what are the the ethics or ethics is maybe the wrong word but what non-tipped employees in food service who you're trying to force a tip on to like is that what do we think of that practice a little tip talk a little yeah i'm gonna name something i think anyone will just take a tip right yeah i think leave money on the counter they have to take it i feel

like especially you know like any any time i'm working a job like that and it you know like usually the base pay is not the greatest so any tip is is usually appreciated i actually did the same thing i got a hot and ready i was telling you i went to Little Caesars just recently and i gave the guy a few bucks or whatever because i thought that that was just what you did there was no tip jar but i think i definitely don't think he threw it away yeah no i wouldn't think so you wouldn't throw money in the trash insane yeah but uh there there are some places that don't put out tip jars and i think that's always kind of a weird thing of like yeah but also that's a hard thing like if you're picking up food there there's a couple different things with this if

you're picking up food do you just leave a couple bucks i guess so right yeah and then if if you're eating in if you if you buy your food at the cash register do you tip 20 percent there that is always the hardest thing for me because i'm like well this isn't like a thing where like you're there's a waiter who's waiting on you sure but they are that like so you're gonna have a number and someone's gonna bring your food to you so do you still do the 20 percent i usually don't do the 20 percent i almost always always always tip 20 percent all the time i never don't tip 20 percent that's kind of my base and my dad used to yell at me a lot because he was like from a different generation and like it was like it's 15 percent you know because he would have been like 70 something you

know so like but i i always do 20 percent in that and getting something out of counter is always kind of tricky to me yeah by uh on that on that note real quick my dad uh uh said uh recently like if i tip like your mother wanted me to i'd be uh be bankrupt like i think there is like a thing of like a guys in their 60s and 70s who you know like yeah that was just then 15 percent was what you did yeah maybe you knock them down to 10 if they didn't do their job yeah you would never go to 20 unless they gave you something for free you know yeah i remember when my dad would get mad at like like service or something like he's like they're not paying attention to us and then he'd always still just tip it and i was like oh dad at least stand by your anger but yeah no that that that is

that's that's another tough one too because people are like always tip 20 percent even if they're not doing a good job i think there is a weird thing now or like like uh i think there's been so many articles and and things online about it where it's like hey a lot of their pay comes from that tip oh yeah for sure and also just from being a waiter if you the waiters get tipped get taxed on their tips as if as if they make 10 percent no matter what so just like the their taxes if they there's an additional 10 percent no matter what so if you if you tip less than 10 percent you're actually stealing money from the waiter jeez so don't ever tip less than 10 percent unless the person is bananas wow yeah i've never i've never done that before i've never gone i've

never gone below 15 i don't think ever i had a friend that was a waiter at tbk who always kept a bottle of vizine in his uh he would show it to me was in his pocket all the time in his apron so that he could put it in people's water if he wanted to to give them diarrhea he said he'd never used it but it was like insurance for him emotionally oh wow that seed i think someone not tipping him 20 would be exactly so what where do you that that's like that guy should be working i feel like tom made some odd hires including you potentially yeah i agree tom should have been fired and also you're my friend but i think you should have been fired too for dropping that woman oh yeah oh no more even more so for the shirt thing that you mentioned um i what how do you

guys feel about if you're getting a number would you would you tip 20 should i up it because i usually give a few bucks and now i don't know what to do i do like 15 yeah i feel like 15 is good i feel i probably usually do around there 20s for someone who's like doing the sequence of it's called the sequence of service where they just keep checking back with you and they like drop off the thing and then they have to come back a minute later to see if the thing is to your liking so like there's like nine steps to it and if you have to do a bunch of them at once and it's like that's a challenge you know just to bring up a specific example which people won't know but alcove you know and those feel is if you

go and buy your food there you get a number you sit down they just bring your food you'd still do about 15% you think 15 for sure okay okay good to know that's good to know i gotta up now i feel cheap i've been a cheap cheap man um and i've always kind of prided myself on that and another question too that's kind of coming up in the delivery world is that uh there's a lot of these apps which nick hates um that they'll deliver you your food from like food from anywhere they'll come up i think one is called postmates and they'll just come and deliver to your house so there's uh they charge you twice they charge you like a delivery fee and then like a percentage fee and that can be like seven to ten dollars and then at the end it also asks do you want to tip

the drive the driver the delivery man and so then that pushes it way up and every time i've i have tipped like 20 to the driver because i feel like oh is this company just making this money and now this man is getting ripped off you know so how do you guys feel about that i think you have to on that note i you uh uh shared with me a postmates order you made uh for taco bell i was about to ask if you're using it for taco bell oh we did yeah everyone i know who does that uses it for taco bell and it was like seriously i did the math and it was like a 95 percent surcharge that you were getting with all the the delivery fees and the tip on top of it it's like you're paying an insane amount of money to have taco bell delivered to you i would do it again yeah all right

was it great yes i'm coming right now for us as soon as this podcast and for what it's worth the chili ziosk uh defaults to 20 so yeah i know we wanted to tip cash so we had to slowly slowly slowly push it down 20 to zero in this humiliating way where it was like watching it yeah that's crazy i am the ziosk that i think the ziosk more than anything made me want to play plant plants for zombies because i don't understand what that game is about oh you would like it yeah it's fun okay i'm gonna get into it we played one where you decorate cupcakes oh boy give them to people and if you don't do it fast enough to get man what the hell is going on in this world it was like a food they didn't have at the chilies but we

were looking at pictures of it and like decorating it and pretending we owned a different sort of restaurant and we're like running it while we were waiting for our food at this restaurant we were living in two planes at once ziosk is going to be as common as uh automobile someday well i think that'll about to it for this uh first episode of dope boys our thanks uh so much to our guest eva anderson eva we're gonna we're gonna people check you out what they should what should they look for i'm on twitter at uh at eva fey eva fa y um my sketch group a kiss from daddy which uh nick weigar and i started uh has a show at ucb sunset in los angeles the third wednesday of every month at 10 30 and um watch you're the worst on fxx coming later this year

awesome check all that out uh thanks so much for joining us and uh we'll see you next time if you have a question or comment or on your experience at the chain restaurant you can email us at doboyspodcastatgmail.com that's doboyspodcastatgmail.com and we got a twitter too at doboyspod correct no cast on that one there were enough characters yep cool thanks so much guys take care bye right