Doughboys - Chipotle 2 with Chelsea Davison

Episode Date: August 24, 2017

Writer and comedian Chelsea Davison (@midnight, MADtv) joins the ‘boys for a return visit to Chipotle to try the newest addition to the menu: queso. Plus, conversations about theater, sports, the crossover between the two, and more, all before closing out the episode with another segment of Drank or Stank. Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The mission. One of the most well-known neighborhoods in San Francisco, its history dates to 1776, when Spanish priests displaced and enslaved the local Olone Indians to build the Catholic Mission San Francisco de Aziz. Almost a century later, when the gold rush led to a massive influx of white settlers in California was granted statehood so the US could capitalize in the economic boom, the district around the mission expanded to be housing for German and Italian immigrants. The 1906 San Francisco earthquake, which leveled much of the city, further altered the character of the district, as Poles and Irish moved to the rebuilt area. And after the Second World War, this working-class neighborhood with the rotating cast of inhabitants

took on the character that defines it today, as Mexican and Central American immigrants came to live in the mission, leading to white flight to elsewhere in the city. Enter the Mission Burrito. Proportedly created in 1969 by Raúl and Mikayla Durán of La Cumbre-Tacarilla, though like all regional signature food stuffs its invention is disputed by others, this overstuffed burrito with a foil wrapped around an oversized tortilla, its contents stretching it to the limit like a flower corset, became the signature dish of the neighborhood, and made the mission's Mexican restaurants a destination for all residents of all walks of life in the city

by the Bay. In 1993, a Coloradan culinary school graduate named Steve Ells appropriated the Mission Burrito for a Mexican restaurant concept near the University of Denver. Local buzz led to a dozen restaurants in Colorado, and a substantial investment by McDonald's took its expansion nationwide. Today, though its menu offers tacos, bowls, and salads, its mission-style burrito remains its most popular item, and this version of the real San Francisco treat has been exported worldwide. This week on Doughboys, we return to Chipotle. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants' work production at Ferrellaudio.com. I'm Nick Weigar, alongside my co-host, the Michelin Man, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.

The Michelin Man? I like it. Yeah, it's almost a compliment. That's from at Ryan Fort Camp. Stop saying it's almost a compliment for all these put downs, you fucking asshole. That's from at Ryan Fort Camp. He wanted to add that you would be made of burgers instead of tires. Hey, but you're the burger boy. I mean, you'd still be made of burgers. You're more likely to be made of burgers than tires. Kind of stacked on top of each other. I'm more likely to be made of burgers than tires. I agree with that. All right. Great. So we're on the same page. Hey, if you'd like an insult, you have an insult you'd like me to use on Mitch at the top of the show, roastspoonman at gmail.com is the address. Or don't send one in. You

can always not send one in. We get more roasts than we do, like just actual questions. Like we have one email address for listener questions. We have another one for insults, and like the insults one is just flooded with responses. I got a bunch of drops lately. I think it's one guy, though. And speaking of drops, how to spoon nation. Oh, boy. And here's a little drop. Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling hot salad and scrambled dad jizz. Good night, everybody. That might be my favorite drop of all time. You know, it's my favorite because it was short. To the point. That was Nick Snow at Nick Snow. Hey, like the first name. Not so sure about that last name a little cold for my taste. Jesus, shut the fuck up. Snow

is cold. I'd like to meet Nick Beach. That's more my speed. You'd like to meet Nick Beach. Nick Beach. I got a crack open my drink. What you got there, Brew Dog? No, I don't have a Brew Dog. I got an aquafina sparkling orange grapefruit. Well, that's fun. I don't drink before noontime like you. You accuse me of alcoholism, which I don't think is I think is unfounded. It's partially true. I sometimes have a Brew Dog with there with with lunch, but that's if I have the day off. Nick, I got I got some new. First of all, yeah. Wait, is this before? No, this will be before our we got it. We got a package today and I was afraid. So we got a big package today with food in it, right? And we're going to we're going to do it on a double. I don't want to say what it

is. And that's just a normal delivery for you, right? Like pretty much every day a big package with food with dry ice filled with food. No, that's coming to your door. No, that's not true. Okay. You asshole. But I shouldn't touch that dry ice by the way, my fingers are burning. Anyway, I order myself a recumbent bicycle. Oh, hell yeah. For the living room to just work to just be on that bike, watch on TV on my phone, I can I can sit back and just pedal away. Wait, so not something you're going to ride around town something just to have in the living room to have in the living room a little exercise recumbent bicycle, no stress on the word I know you want to stress bent because we got those bent minds. So wait, so this is the thing the recumbent is

like you lean backwards, right? It's like almost like a hammock posture. Yeah, and you just pedal and basically an exercise bike. I've you know, I've heard about people losing a lot of weight by combining those sorts of either bikes, stationary bikes or treadmills and video games. Because that's the thing. And it's just like this is years ago, famously, there's this guy who lost a ton of weight playing World of Warcraft, but the he only let himself play while he was on a treadmill. Was it Jared? Was it Jared Fogle? No, no, I mean, if it was, they kept that under I mean, they kept a few things. Absolutely. By the way, lately, have you been? I don't know. Where is he now? Has he given you any updates? I haven't. Oh, you think I'm his personal liaison? I see

we're going with that. You haven't talked to him? No. What is he up to now? Is he in jail? How long is he in jail? He's in prison for a long time. He's in prison for a long time. Yeah, I think so. I think a long time. Good. Yeah. Um, hey, go ahead, Mitch. What were we going to say? I was going to transition into introducing our guest. So anyways, oh, yes, okay, very quick. I'm sorry. And then you'll want to be off the podcast soon anyway. She's already half way out the door. I can tell my my recumbent bicycle. The package got delivered Friday stolen. Your bike got stolen. It was stolen. Amazon just is going to send me a new one. No, like, and I was like, did it get stolen? Because it said that it got delivered. Oh man. I don't know if it was stolen. Maybe there was

some issue, but it said delivered gone. It just never showed up. Do you think it was a classic Italian bicycle thief? Jesus. Do you think we'll see a decadent recumbent bicycle? Do you think we'll see this, uh, this incident recreated on season three of master of none in black and white? You gotta, we gotta get yank. We gotta get, we gotta get back anyways, but we could, we could ask them. Um, yeah, the recumbent bicycle that, that hammocky exercise bike got, got stolen. So a new one is coming. It's coming Friday. If you're listening, don't steal it. Uh, and then a specialist is going to come and set it up. So well, I hope that works out for you. Thank you, Nick. And hey, you know, real quick, we'll be at the, now hear this podcast festival,

Stember eight through 10th in New York city for info tickets. Go to now hear this fest.com. Also, we'll be doing live shows in the Pacific Northwest in October and Texas in November, December dates and tickets at ferrel audio.com slash dope boys or on our social media. What was that? What was that? That was my Texas noise. A little Texas draw. It's kind of insulting to the people who are going to come to our shows. You got anything for the Pacific Northwest? Like, like they're all dork wads. Yep. All right. What about, uh, what about classic New York city? Hey, okay. All right. I want more of that one. Uh, let's introduce our guests. We're very excited to have here from, uh, have her from midnight and mad TV. Chelsea,

Davidson is here. Hello, Chelsea. Welcome to the show. Thank you for coming to the show. This is big. Oh man. I just, I love being here already. This is great. Sitting at this glass table, disoriented. It is, it is. I feel like I've learned a lot about Mitch coming here. I got to say this much, this table, I would say 80% of the things on our dough boys related. Sure. And that is true. I mean, the rest of the apartment is filthy as well. I feel like I can see into the hallway, you know, like there's just like a shirt laid out, like, I don't know. This gives me, I like feel now I can see like my boyfriend's alternate life in a world where we never got together. And it like, it truly, I'm like, thank God I, I'm alive.

Singles, singles rule, Nick, that you should get back to your old ways. I should leave my wife like a slob. You don't want to. You never, you never fantasize. I don't, I don't fantasize about leaving my wife who I love so I can live in squalor. What are you talking about? There's, there's been a lot of, there's been, there's been a lot of, you know, you'll see, we'll have you back. You'll see. It's been slow and steady for me. I've had, I've had a busy, it's been busy. You mean, look, you're a pack rat. Oh, fuck you. I was going to say this. You are, you're a pack rat. You accumulate a lot of things. You have a personal, you have a psychological hangup about getting rid of stuff. So that's part of it. It's not that

you're, you're necessarily a slob. You think this is like a hoarding thing? I think I know, knowing Mitch very well, I know a lot of it is hoarding. I just want to say this. Yeah. There's a big brown bag next to you on the table. It's all Doughboy shit. Right. There's a lot of Doughboy stuff on this table. I will, I will admit that a lot of this table itself, the surface of the table is Doughboy stuff. For me, it's not the table. There's a mirror in the room that seems to be supported by little tiny hand weights, which feels like such a like door room thing. Right. Like you could have used anything to support that mirror. Yeah. I'll tell you the story behind those weights. There is, there is, there is a story. That mirror is insanely heavy. It's a very,

very heavy mirror. Okay. The cats. Now it's a nice mirror. So I never want to throw it away, but maybe I should, should I throw the mirror away? Should we, should we, should we make a poll online to see if I should toss the mirror? I think people are going to say to keep the mirror because it's like they've seen it in pictures. Yeah. Hashtag. What's a good hashtag? Throw the looking glass. Hashtag throw the looking glass. You're in a bit or hashtag mirror, mirror on the wall. Yeah, I like that. That's why they said mirror, mirror on the wall because that's what it is. Yeah. Just dressed on, but you, I mean, ON would be capitalized in this hashtag. Okay. So I never want to get rid of that, but the cats play around it. Oh, so you

don't want it to. So my, the weights there are specifically so that Wally and Irma do not knock it over. Yeah. I just, you know, you could use like books or, you know, some cute Ikea stuff. Oh, I got plenty of books. There, there's the great couch hunt, which is still ongoing. Mookie gave me a pretty hot tip today. Our buddy Mookie Blake Locke, who's on an upcoming episode of the no boys double. That's true. Oh, shit. And you're looking for a couch, looking for a good sectional. There's, there's, there's this thing. You can say who our guests are. That's true. There's this, there's this thing under you, which I've just decided to throw away this big red chair. But can you just throw it outside? Well, you can just like leave it on the curb. You can do that.

Can you do it? I think so. I think you can also like call Goodwill and like, and they'll take it, or if you put it on Craigslist for free under their free section, I was trying to sell a table and kept lowering the price from like $20 to 15 to 10. And finally just said free. I got like 50 emails an hour. People are really love free shit. Oh, they love free shit. It's amazing. I wonder if I just put this outside. I think our trash comes on Friday. And if I put this outside, I think that people would just, someone would just take it. I think, isn't this chair suck? Here's the thing though. If you put it outside, people are probably going to assume it has bed bugs. So I think whereas if you put it on Craigslist and you can say, hey, no bed bugs, what if I put

a piece of paper on it that says free, no bed bugs. You can put the word no in quotes. It's like a dare. Yeah, but put it out there with a sign free. No one's ever jacked off on this bare ass. Well, I can't put that. So yeah, I agree with Chelsea that use that Craigslist free thing, because you can do the same thing. You can say like free and then even put where it's going to be and just put it out on the curb and someone will take it. But if you just put it out there, what I've had happen, we had an old couch that we tried to get rid of. And I just put it out in the alley by our apartment. This is this is a place we live two places ago. And someone just immediately came by and stole all the cushions. And so just left the frame of the couch. So that

was even harder to get rid of that. That we just had to take the couch skeleton. Yeah, exactly. You just had you just had that. And so but the Craigslist free thing, I've had a lot of luck with that where people will like drive out from all over. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I came out from Riverside to get this free bookshelf because they just really want free stuff. Absolutely. I had a guy I gave away this couch. It wasn't even that nice of a couch. It was like a kind of shitty fold out couch years ago. And this hippie came to my apartment to pick it up. And this guy, he had like, you know, he had like a dreamcatcher hanging from his rear view mirror, helped him put it in his truck. And he was just like, are you saying the it was a poster for the Stephen King movie

dreamcatcher? Yeah, it was it was the poster art for dreamcatcher come to life. And so he came there and he wait, you were saying that he was hanging the poster art for dreamcatcher from his rear view mirror. I misinterpreted what you said. I think he said the guy was a sentient dreamcatcher. Okay. Oh my God, what? I was confused. I mean, it was still just as weird as that. I was trying to yes and it, but I was confused. Who directed the dreamcatcher movie? Was it should I look it up? I know you hate it when I look things up on the show. No, you should. I mean, I have no idea. So I think I had forgotten that was a movie. I don't know. Everyone is so excited about the new it movie. I don't know if it will be good. Oh, it's a Lawrence Kasdan. It was Kasdan. People like

Kasdan. Kasdan directed that Lawrence Kasdan directed dreamcatcher is like one of the worst movies. Morgan Freeman. So bad. It's so so. Have you ever seen it? No, I've never seen it. It's so it's so so bad. Well, now I want to watch it. William Goldman and Lawrence Kasdan screenplay. That sounds I don't I have a hard time believing that would be bad. And well, why don't you check it out? I will watch it yourself. It's a bad it's a it's a bad movie. I wonder how this new it movie will be. The guy who did mama. Great horror movie. I like that movie a lot. Even though, you know, the end has like, I think every ghost movie has like the issue of like, oh, we're seeing the ghost. Right. Like then, like when you see the ghost for like a few minutes, you're like, I don't

want to like see this ghost. I wonder my thing with mama is I wonder if like looking back of it, is it now problematic to have Martin Lawrence dressed up as a woman? Like, is that like something that hasn't aged well comedically? You thought mama was like the remake of Big Mama's house. Yeah, right. Where Big Mama had died and was haunting someone. Yeah. Well, if he dies, does he does he come back as Martin Lawrence or does he come back as big mama? I think it depends on if he dies in character. I know. Well, because what if Big Mama has unfinished business? Right. Big Mama's got to come back. Definitely has unfinished business. That is like the funny thing of like, we're like every when people like comment on like fat suits and stuff like

so much of it comes from Big Mama's house. Right. And this is this here's the crazy thing to me is like, it's like Eddie Murphy as the nutty professor. And but then it's like time out. Those movies are good. The like, look, I think they're pretty funny. Yeah, they're pretty funny movies. I'm saying like they're not like those movies aren't like is like they are like they know how like they're in on the fun with that when they're like at the table farting and stuff. So like making fun of that is kind of weird to me. And then the other one is Big Mama's house, which is like so specific. And then there's like no others I can think of that are like that. Yeah, there was just friends with Ryan Reynolds. That was a fact. That was even after very low visibility on it. Yeah, very low

shallow how shallow how is the big one? That might be the big shallow how God. Yeah, that movie is bad. That's really weird. I like the Farrelly Brothers, but that's a weird that's a if you want to talk about your problematic that movie is it's bad news. There's a scene and there's a scene late in the movie where he keeps because he keeps seeing these like beautiful kids. He goes to volunteer at like the at the hospital. These kids are beautiful. It's so like it's like even at the time when I saw it, I remember being like, Oh, this is weird. And then you watch it now. It's like Jesus Christ. But he goes to see these kids and they're like these beautiful kids. Yeah. And then he comes later in the movie after the curse where he sees people as the ideal version

of that. He sees what's inside people as what they're outside. That's how it is. Yeah. So he sees like it's basically saying fat people are bad because he sees them when he sees them as thin there. Right. He's seeing their inner beauty. He's seeing their inner beauty in their in their thin which is also there's like another thing too where it's like not all fat people are nice. Like Trump is a big fat asshole. Yeah. Sorry. I don't want to get you going on. Oh boy. Don't get me started on the orange buffoon. Nick too far. Yeah. Tone it down. Sorry. I just can't. I just get I just get riled up about this comb over in chief. Oh boy. You barely change your insults. By the way, this guy who sits in the White House or should we call it the whites only

house? Oh boy. Oh boy. All right. Anyway, here's where we were just talking about something with okay. So yeah, he's so he goes to the hospital and these kids he's been seeing that are beautiful and then like the curse is worn off or the whatever it happens, whatever they call it is worn off. And so he sees things as they really are and he sees all these beautiful kids are now kids that are like it's the burn ward. Burn ward. And so these kids are all wearing this like prosthetic makeup to look them all to make them look all burned. It's so it's all prosthetic makeup. And also like it is like so very clear that like like what idea of the burn ward. This is like a 1950s idea or like where there were like 20 kids in the orphanage. It was like an orphanage moment.

Well, so I just find it funny that it like like, oh man, they're not fuckable anymore. Like even if they're like really great kids, like the kids should never get hot. You know, it'd be so weird if the shallow how curse was put on you and you'd see everyone was chilled. God damn it. I look I never finished my hippie story from earlier. Yeah, so hold on a second. Yes, go for it. I thought it was weird and shallow how how it's all those kids in the burn ward and then he sees them all like without burns, except for one kid. There's this one kid who's just like a shitty little kid. I don't want to eat this. It's like a kid looks like shit. It's a little punk. Okay, so so there was a dream catcher, not the Stephen King boaster. There's a dream

actual dream catcher on this guy's mirror. And I was helping him put him put this couch into the truck. And he was just like, it was like I'd saved his life. He was so grateful. He's like, man, this was such a blessing. I just like I needed a couch so bad. And then I looked on and your couch was there. And I saw the picture is perfect. I came here and you're here and you're helping me out. I just like this is karma. This is you're giving something to the world. And it's the world's going to give it back to you. And I felt so good about myself for basically a guy who came to collect my garbage. Wow. Like so anyway, yeah, I agree with Chelsea. That's how Nick met his wife. It's real meat cute. So Mitch, yeah, so I just put it on craigslist

in the free section. Someone will come pick it up. I'm definitely going to this red chair as its days are numbered, mostly because it has this gray, I shouldn't point out more gross things here. It has this like it has like this gray inside that's coming out of it. If you guys have if you've seen the never ending story, you know, when like the nothing is like coming out is like this thing like enveloping the universe, it looks like that is coming out from under Mitch's couch. I think it looks like like father times pews. It's a gray like like a gray. And so anyways, it's this gray fur. And so when I when I when I start the Roomba to have the Roomba coming clean around here, it gets caught in the gray, it gets all it gets twirled up in the gray. So this this red chair

is it's got to go. Nick, I know you want to get rid of this table, Nick, but I don't know when the tables look baby steps, get rid of the chair, get yourself a new couch. Then you can get some of your fucking at midnight cash. That show ended. Yeah. Give me some of your severance package. You think I got a we got a handsome severance package for a cancel TV show? I don't know, but I it's it. This is money, Nick. This industry is cutthroat. You know how it works. One minute you're hot shit. The next minute you're out the door. You're welcome to Hollywood. Chelsea's here. Enough couch talk. So Chelsea, you're a fascinating person to me. You are one of the pickiest eaters I feel like I've ever met. Yeah, it's really bad. It's really bad. Basically,

like if you think like what a five year old would would eat or like that's basically what I am and every now and then I try to expand it, you know, I'll try something and it's usually horrible, right? Truly horrible. I wonder because I was thinking this earlier. Do you think the list is longer of the things you will eat or the list of things you won't eat? Oh, I would say probably won't eat. So what particularly like like, okay, so what is on the safe list? What is on the things like, okay, if I see this in a restaurant, this is something I know I can I can get. So again, it's basically like anything you would find on a kid's menu, like chicken fingers, a burger, steak, like a grilled cheese sandwich, grilled cheese, yeah, yeah, fries, exactly. So like fast

food is great. It actually is okay because like every nice restaurant usually has a steak or a burger. So like I can pretty much find something anywhere. It's just yeah, it's a problem because there are like categories of things I don't like. One is like things with weird textures. So like mushrooms or like, I don't know, there's a lot, there's a lot of weird textures out there. So that's one thing. Anything that I just decide is gross, which is a very hard thing to nail down, but that includes all seafood. Any weird meat. Wait, so seafood, you're even like even popcorn shrimp, like any seafood? Yeah, so when I was a kid, I loved popcorn shrimp, and then I unbredded one once, and then I never ate it again. Oh, wow. So just the visual was so visual. Yeah, yeah,

can't do it. I mean, I probably could. I just, you know, it just, it really, really gets to me. There's no seafood, not shellfish, not like a clam chowder, none of it appeals to you. Nothing. Wow. Yeah, no seafood at all. And then yeah, other things that just kind of fall into the gross thing, like I don't know why, like I eat almonds, but the idea of almond milk, anything like that are weird substitutions or like anything like that, I just find it like a disgusting concept. I can kind of see that though, because that is like, it's not exactly franken food, but it is taking something and heavily processing it to replicate an existing thing. But do you drink actual milk? Yeah, but that's just because I grew up with it. I'm sure

if I started now, I would find it too gross. Right. Because, you know, the concept is gross. What beverages are okay for you? The concept of milk is weird. It's weird. I mean, you know, water, juice, pop. I don't know. That's kind of, I feel like I drink a lot of pop. That's, I don't know. I'm not the healthiest person. I love soda. I love soda, but it is a, it's, it's terrible. It's the one thing that I am bad. I owe them always. It's the battle. I always am just having the battle with soda. It's so hard to get off of that. It took me, I mean, and I'm still a carbonated water guy, because I just need that sparkle. But man, I was, there was a point where I was drinking four to six Royal Crown Coal as a day. Wow. And I was just, you know,

I was just addicted to that sugar. Or, you know, I mentioned this on the podcast a number of times, but there was a point where I would drink, when I get into work, when I worked in the video game industry, the first thing I would do is I would get a, a Snickers from the vending machine, a black coffee, and a Mountain Dew Code Red. And that was my breakfast. And so I was just having so much sugar all the time. And so then, then eventually I got to, I weaned myself a little bit by going to diet soda. But I think long-term diet soda is not that great for you either. I feel like you have to get off those artificial sweaters. Yeah, that's the thing. I'm, I, for me, it's all diet, diet soda. But still, I know that like long-term it's like causes cancer,

causes diabetes, like all of these things that are bad. But I don't know, it's so good. It's definitely better than, than drinking the real thing, I think. Yeah. At least in the short term, you know, because otherwise, isn't the real thing, is that the Pepsi slogan? It's like, oh, is that what they called it at one point? The real thing? Better for short term? Right. No, I, yeah, I think, I feel like that's, I remember you got the right one, baby, uh-huh, for diet Pepsi. The real thing, that sounds right. That sounds like a slogan. The real thing is, man, now, now it's in my head. I'm going to look it up. I remember that as like a faith no more song. Am I wrong about that? Didn't they have a song called the real thing? Or wait, there was another,

there was a song even better than the real thing? That's what I'm thinking of. It's the real thing, it's Coca-Cola. Oh, that's what it was. It's the real thing. You don't even think of their slogans, because you just think of Coca-Cola the brand. Yeah. Coca-Cola. I've said this on the show to Nick before, but it's like, if I was to have like, a delicious steak, like a lot of times, people are like, oh, I want like a glass of wine, or like a nice glass of red, or I want a, like a nice beer. Sometimes a nice cold Coca-Cola just goes perfectly with like, with like a dinner, with like a really good dinner. Sometimes I just want a Coke. I feel like it's like the perfect, I feel like pop goes better with just about every dinner. I don't know,

there's like, I feel like it's, I don't know, especially once you train yourself to kind of expect that pairing. Sure. You know, then it's like, it feels weird when you don't have that. I'm a big, I see, I have conditioned myself because I have a big thing with caffeine, whereas if I have caffeine, basically after 2pm, I can't sleep that night. Oh, right. So for me, I stopped having sodas with dinner, but still with lunch. Like I would love, like a burger, fries, and a Coke. Man, that is great. Like I love a soda with some sort of lunch meal. I'm with you on that. But I am very much like kind of, and maybe this is partly me being old, but I am very much like a guy who wants a glass of wine with dinner. I really like that.

I think that has its own appeal, you know? I don't know. Maybe that's me doing pretend grown-up, but I think I actually do. No, I feel like, I mean, clearly there are real grown-ups in the world. Sure. Like you're lying. No, I think, I think there are probably a lot of you that, your type of person, I think I am more of the anomaly, which is like truly like, if I have wine, like it has to be dessert wine, like Moscatos or Rieslings. Oh, you need something that's a little bit of sweetness to it. It needs to be really sweet. Yeah. So like everything. And is that true with alcohol in general? All alcohol needs to taste like candy. You won't even drink a beer? Like a brew dog?

I mean, it's not my favorite. You know, I'd rather have like a lambic, you know? Like a cider maybe? A cider. Love ciders. I love cider. I like cider a lot. I dance on the sweet side, but I also will just drink tequila on the rocks with like soda water. Oh, wow. But like, but if you had your way and you weren't wearing the health benefits, you would, you love tropical drinks. I love my ties. My tie is one of my favorite drinks. And I, and I, and I like cider. I've switched. Cider was more just because I felt like beer was fucking me up more, right? More than I wanted to like the sweet taste of cider, even though I do like the sweet taste of cider. But, but you got plenty, you got plenty of options

as far as like candy, candy booze goes. It feels like there's been a recent cider renaissance where like everyone, it's now at like every bar, every menu. I think it's because of gluten-free people that like now like pussies like me get to actually like get what I want. I mean that as I'm lame, not just that I'm a woman, but I am both. I am a lame woman. That's a funny way for saying women being like pussies like me, like women. You know, we're taking back the term. As opposed to dicks like. Yeah. So, okay. So you've been saying to pop a lot. People would probably glean from that. You're from the Midwest. I'm from Ohio. From Ohio. Cleveland specifically.

Different suburbs around Cleveland. So, okay. So Ohio, I mean, I got a question. Go for it, please. Does Cleveland rock or is Drew Carey foolish? I'm wearing my Cleveland shirt. Cleveland rocks. Home sweet. Home sweet Cleveland. I got this from the Cleveland airport. I saw it was like, yeah, I should rep my city. Okay. Was this a returning or departing flight? I don't actually remember. I went like the home, the home city airport purchase is an interesting move. Yeah. Yeah. I went home recently for a friend's bachelorette party and while I was there, I'm

like, hell yeah. Cleveland. But it's, it's been great. I mean, Cleveland, Cleveland is really having a renaissance just like cider. Right. We've got, you know, sports. We've got business. We've got, that's about it, but it's great guys. Is this a, are you being paid by the Cleveland tourism board? It's a branded appearance. Shut up. Because there you are. They should give you some more specific talking points. Yeah. They just gave, they just told you to say sports. You know, sports business just generally. All right. Come, come and find out. Here's my thing. I could always, uh, root for like the Browns that that's great. I could root and I used to be able to, and the Indians are always kind of up against the socks,

so I can't root for the Indians that much. But I like, if it was the Indians and, and, and the socks weren't in, I'd be like, yeah, whatever. I can, I can root for Cleveland to win. Yeah. But when it comes to those calves, I used, I used to be able to root for the calves back in the day, but King James, more like King Lames. Oh boy. Jesus Christ. King Lames. You heard me. Plural. You what? You, you're, you're, you're a King, a King James defense. I mean, of course you are. Yeah. Of course. Look, okay. He, I don't think he's perfect. Okay. I mean, after all, he left us. Right. But he came back. Which is like so like, God, that's like this asshole, like significant other who's like, fuck you, and then leaves. Yeah. And then comes crawling back.

Fuck him. I, here's the thing. So I think people overreacted when they burned the jersey and stuff, because it's like, you should still support this guy who spent time in our city and grew up here, grew up in Akron and, you know, was a defining force of our team. You know, it was shitty in the way he left, but then the fact that he came back, I don't know. It's like, then people are like, can we forgive him? It's like, he's a sportsman. Right. He does this thing. You know, he can come and go as he pleases. I don't know. It feels like it was foolish in the way he did it. Yeah. In, in that it did kind of jerk around a lot of fans, but at the same time, like, I don't know. He's, he seems to be like a pretty good guys, pretty, you know, I mean,

he's well spoken. He's undeniably really talented. He does a lot of like outreach and charity. I mean, he seems to be, I think, pretty like undeniably a good guy. Yeah. He seems like a very, like, like a, one of the more intelligent pro athletes. Yeah. Just like when he speaks about politics, like he spit, like he takes, you know, he takes like, I feel like stances that a lot of athletes would be worried like, oh, this is going to endanger me professionally because I'm actually going out on the limb here, but he's willing to do it. Here's what I would say, Mitch. We talked, we talked about this a little bit. I know. And this is, we're going to get, no, I don't want to get into this territory with you. Right. But I'm not, we don't, we don't have to

talk about that specifically. We don't have to talk about the political aspect because, you know, I've had it up to here with the orange buffoon. I could do with it with a little away time from him right now. But, okay. So, but, but I think like, here's what I would say, bitch. You still have a chip on your shoulder about LeBron. I think a lot of it is, is wrapped up in you being a Celtics fan and the Celtics squaring off against LeBron so many times. We kicked his ass for so many years. Yeah. Basically, making him go to Miami at one point because of the beatdown. Hell fucking yeah. But here's what I would say is, I think that, I agree with Chelsea. The decision was handled poorly. That was a, that was a very mean thing to do a city. I don't like

him anymore. It was a big kick in the balls. The decision is stinky bad. Don't like it anymore. The Cleveland fans have forgiven LeBron. They have welcomed him back. He is a, a huge part of that community. He has delivered a championship for the city of Cleveland, which must be immensely meaningful. The first championship of your life. I cried. Right? That's the thing. I'm not even really the biggest Cleveland sports fan. I mean, that's the thing that I feel like, I have become more of a sports fan ever since I left Cleveland because in Cleveland, everyone is such a rabid sports fan that if you're like, I don't care that much. Like you basically are the weird one. That, but when I came to LA and, and before that New York, it's like,

I mean, I know there are definitely people in both cities who, who are big into sports, but like the comedy communities, like the people I know do not give a shit about any of it. So then I feel like I end up being the one who's like, wait, no, isn't the world series on? Like, shouldn't we watch that? They're like, what? There's so many dork wads in the comedy community. It makes me sick. Watch the fucking sports, you nerd. You and I can fucking agree with that. Not only that, but in the comedy community, like every year, like the Super Bowl will be on and they're like, what are the rules to sports ball? How do I, do I score a touchdown with the basket? Shut the fuck, I'm like, shut, like, oh, the, the superb owl is on, you mean? Like, oh, fuck you.

It's like also like, you're going to watch it, like shut up, like right hairs. It's a big event. What do you, what? No, I think it should go, I think it should go both ways that like sports people should learn some shit about theater and, you know, other arts. Yeah. And also art people like suck it up. Sports is pop culture. Like if you don't know how football works, like you're just closing yourself off to a million jokes and references and, and honestly, like stories. I mean, there's a lot of sports in moments that feel very like scripted almost like the stakes could not be higher. I mean, that's why you see so many sports movies. It's just because like there's an inherent want and stakes and opposing forces and hurdles and, you know, you're playing against

yourself, but also these other people. I mean, it's like, it's awesome. That said, it can also be boring sometimes, but like if you pick and choose what one are the times that are like actually matter. And if you get a little bit invested, I mean, that's the thing like, I'm not the biggest sports fan because I pretty much own, I say pretty much, I only care about Cleveland. Like I don't watch any other teams, but once you get a little bit invested in one team, it just, it really becomes this amazingly fun thing. It's an instant community and an instant, like it is so fun to shit talk. Like I feel like during, during this last, the NBA finals, like it was so fun to, you know, go up against Nick and other people. I like that. Well, I'm not,

I'm not a, I'm not a Warriors fan, but our buddy, Dave Thomason is a Warriors fan. Dave Thomason, Paris at work, Chris Lay, and you, you had thought that the, that the calves were going to, I thought the guy, I picked the calves in seven. I was completely wrong about that. All my predictions are wrong. That's when I think I've been wrong about every prediction in the past two years, which I will, yes, you were wrong in a lot of ways. And I always give you a hard time for her for Nintendo. Yeah. I would say, see, I would say my thing I was, I was wrongest about was when I recorded an intro before an episode came out after the election, where I said that Hillary Clinton had won the presidency. I didn't think that was the worst

thing, but it was like our self part. Did you change it or did you leave that in? No, I just left it in. It was like South Park. Like they changed their entire ending to season and this except we just left it in it. Like people were depressed by it. We're lazy and our podcast is bad and everyone was tweeting at us either like, like, that's not true or you ruined my day. But so I would say that was, that was the worst thing, but you think the worst thing is when I predicted the Nintendo switch would be a flop, which I was, I'm happy to be wrong about it. I love the switch. The Switch is great. Nintendo is done by it. It's over with what Nintendo, they fucked up too much. And then, and then they got the switch. Hey, the switch is great.

Mario Odyssey looks like the best game. I got Sonic Mania on it. And then things great. Is it fun? I haven't played it yet, but the only game I've really heard about is Zelda. Zelda is amazing. It feels like, is it one of those systems where it's like, it's just that one game? Well, right now it is one of the only games that there is besides Splatoon. Splatoon 2 and that you get the Mario Kart remake. I would say probably you can wait until Super Mario Odyssey comes out if anyone's hesitant on a switch. Cause I think by the time that comes out, that game looks super good if it lives up to expectations. Right now it's still a software start. I can bring my switch like back home for Christmas before Christmas comes around. Anyways, it comes out in October.

It comes out soon. I think so. Yeah. I like a world where sports people will have to watch theater too. I think that's a funny. Oh yeah. They should. I think it's so, it really should go both ways that if it, it makes me equally mad when people say sports ball is when people go, what's Hamilton? Is that a Hamilton? And you're just like, fuck you. It's the biggest musical in the world. Like, are you insane? Sure. I like, I like, I like picturing people in Boston being like, you see fucking Hamilton in the third act. You fucking killed it, dude. Yeah. Look, if you're out there and you're a theater nerd, learn something about Scotty Pippin, if you're out there in a sports nerd, learn something about Pippin. Pippin? The musical, it's great. Well done, Nick.

Alright, look, Nick's a dork on both ends. Damn right. Useless. It sounds like part of what you're saying about sports is that like, cause you're kind of an old school sports fan in that sense, that you follow your one team and you follow it religiously. Like you watch like a lot of the Cavs, you don't really watch a lot of the rest of the NBA. Yes. And I feel like, but it seems like to you it's, it's kind of giving you a sense of, of home in a sense in a way, like when you're away from Cleveland, that kind of gives you a connection to your hometown. Yeah. So, so, okay. So from that same standpoint, is there anything from Cleveland that you miss from a food sense? Like, is there anything where it's just like, like, cause I know, I know Cincinnati is known for its chili. That's

the only thing I can kind of think of. Yeah. I mean, Cleveland also has like a skyline chili. Okay. I mean, that's the only reason that's tough is because the main thing things Cleveland's Cleveland's known for are like chili po boys. And that's stuff that like, I didn't really eat a lot of just because I, you know, was kind of a picky eater. Not a chili fan. Not really. I don't really do beans, weird texture. I know it sucks. I suck. I am so aware of how bad I suck. No, not at all. But, you know, you can't change who you are. You might as well just be like, yeah, hey, I'm bad. Right. Hi. What? I just, it just makes me sad that you had all these cool, there's some cool, there's some cool stuff that, that, are we gonna, are we, will we go to Cleveland

or Cincinnati or anything like that? You should, there's a ton of great stuff. I mean, you know, on Coventry, there's like Tommy's, you know, that has great milkshakes. They do, they have, you know, high ice cream and then they blend it up so you can have like moose tracks, milkshakes and things like that. And they have great like cheese fries. And, you know, there's a lot of really hearty food, we'll say. We'll use that. Sure. I love that though. I love, I love like, because Chicago and like Illinois and, and, uh, Wisconsin have like, kind of like the heavy, like cheese curds and stuff like that. Sure. It's, it's great. It's fun. And also like, you need that stuff to get through the winter. I really, I truly do believe that. Right. I think

you need that hearty food to get, to get through all the time. Yeah. Also for a while, I mean, Cleveland kind of, uh, didn't have a lot going on, not a lot of hope, not a lot of, you know, whatever. So I feel like food is a comfort. Uh, you know, it's, it's very, it's very rich and fatty and comforting. Um, yeah. I mean, we do a lot of things that I think you find a lot in the Midwest, like in Pittsburgh, we do the same thing with putting fries on burgers and sandwiches and coleslaw on that. I mean, you know, there's like melt that is just like cheese upon cheese. I mean, you can get a pierogi's on a grilled cheese, things like that. Uh, yeah. I mean, like mac and cheese pizza, there's a lot of just things that feel like a dare. Right. I love that.

I love those concoctions where like, where the, like, uh, I feel like when I first heard a lot of, of like, like mozzarella sticks on a sandwich, I feel like I came from somewhere in like the Midwest or something. Oh yeah. We've got a lot of that. And it blew my mind. I thought it was so cool. I was like, oh yeah, why, why not? Why would you put this on a sandwich? More carbs. By the way, I just want to quickly say, um, if you're out there listening right now, look into the play Hamilton and then also look up Richard Hamilton. Okay. Rip Hamilton. Right. Piston's great. Nick, you can think on another one and then we'll come back to it. Give me a few minutes. I'll do one. I'll do one. I'll do it a bit. Um, okay. So, so,

yeah, so, yeah, please, should we say, cause I'll give you some time to think. Yeah. Should we segue into, so you don't, your picky eater? Yeah. We're visiting Chipotle today. Is there a re do like a, cause honestly, I feel like, like Mexican food, there, there, there's a, there's a lot of people who, if they're picky eaters, they won't even try. Yeah. Like, especially if you have an aversion to despite, do you have an aversion of spiciness? So I used to, so Chipotle was something that I sort of, uh, like eased myself in on. Um, and there are still people in my family that like won't go there because it's like, it's too spicy. Oh, so your whole, your whole, your whole family is, your whole family is, they're not all that picky,

but they're, they're very Midwestern. Like I hadn't tried Thai food till college. Like there just isn't, they're at least near me in Ohio. Like there wasn't a lot of that. I would even say that's not even that weird, honestly. I think maybe even like Thai food, Chinese food, Mexican food, it just like wasn't really like around as much. So Thai food, I don't think I tried till maybe, till I was much older. I think I maybe had like Pad Thai or, but I feel like maybe he was even in LA or, or so it was 22 or something like that. Yeah. Indian food. I tried that for the first time. I tried out here too. Yeah. So much of that though is just like whatever, you know, depending on where you live in the country, if you're in the U S or, or,

you know, around the, around the world, this of course applies, but it like kind of, you know, there just may not be certain ethnic cuisine available where you live. You know, if you were to live in a small town, then, then there just might not be an Indian restaurant there. You know what I mean? Right. Well, and that's the thing. Like there are kind of more like upscale places. Like I know there was, you know, kind of an upscale Indian place, but like we just never went there. There was a sushi place, but why would we go to like an upscale sushi place when there was a Fridays? Like there was just, I don't know, that was the thing with like my family. We had our couple places and like that's where we went. That's just, you know, not mixing it up.

So I very much kind of developed that. Like you get what you know is good and you don't venture out. There's, there's merit in that. There's certainly something to like, you know, you're going to have a satisfying meal every time. If you never stray from what you've already had. Yeah. I'd say that I've tried, I'll try anything. And you, you and I both will eat pretty much anything. I'm a pretty adventurous eater. Yeah. I think there's some, I like, I think there's some weird stuff I could probably be a little skittish about. I don't need cephalopods. That's the one, that's one thing I know, which is I've had, which is a octopi and squid. I've had them before. The texture is fine. It doesn't necessarily feel to me, but part of it is just

like, I feel weird. It's just a weird moral thing I've made in my head where I feel like they're so, they're like famously very smart ocean creatures. So I feel psychologically feels the same as like eating dolphin meat. I just feel weird doing it. That's fair though. I mean, like pigs are really smart too. I also feel weird about eating pigs. I didn't eat pork for a while. And then I found it like, if you're eating meat, it's very, it's actually pretty hard to avoid pork in a lot of situations. They'll just be like arbitrary bacon on a burger or something like that. That's just like a pain in the ass to get rid of or in a cop salad. We've talked a little bit about this, but I, but I, I will eat anything. The only thing I won't eat bugs, but that's like a weird

thing anyway. Cool. In your house. I'm just like found termites and started wolfing them down. Apparently my brother has had termites. He's had a lot of bugs. He's the most adventurous here. But apparently termites are one of the better insects. Oh, I didn't know about that. Yeah, apparently they taste minty. They're apparently really good. Dear God. That's crazy. I just, I'm not going to eat bugs. Look, roaches are nasty. I'm not going to eat no roach. That's fucking gross. I'm not going to eat a roasted roach. No way. But when I was younger, I think I also have told this story. We repeat ourselves. Who cares? There was an ant in my soda when I was a young boy at my grandma's house and it was like a big carpenter ant, which we get in the

I think maybe the Midwest gets them too. Yeah, yeah. I've had one in a pop too. Oh God, it's, it's, and they don't, you don't usually get them out of there. Like here you get the little ants that are in a line. Right. We get these big fucking ants that they go off on their own and they scatter around. They all go their own separate way and they're, and they're fucking, I don't like them. I mean, like, I know people think ants are cool and I don't think ants are cool because I had one in my mouth that was gigantic and it fucking grossed me out. So I don't like to eat ants. I ate like a bug for what's going on that talk show I did at one point. Oh, wow. That was like a roasted bug, but I'm eating live bugs. I don't think so. No, I'm not gonna eat

a live eating anything that is alive. Yeah, I would eat raw, like steak tartare all eat and stuff like that. But I, but I also stay away from sweet breads and all that sort of stuff. Like, I don't like, like, like brain or, or I don't know, kidneys or liver people eat kidneys or I guess liver. People eat everything. Yeah. Heart. Like, I don't, I wouldn't want to, I would maybe try bites of all them, but I don't want to eat them. Would you, would you try, would you do, you, you, you definitely would not. I've had some sweet breads. I've had some organ meat and it can be good sometimes, but sometimes it's just like, honestly, the thing that I found find weirdest about eating organs is just how fatty they are. Because I read this once, I read that

like predators will go for, you know, if they like, if predator has a kill, a lot of times they'll go immediately for the organs. Like that's what you'll see a lion eating first out of a deer. Is they're eating like the belly, they're eating all the organs out because it's got so much fat in it. But like if you actually eat it and you're, you're just eating more steak or whatever, it's just, it's weird how like it's almost like overwhelming the fat content and it also it's got this like very chewy, weird, almost gummy texture to it. Nick, would you have a temple of doom diet? Would you eat, would you, would you, would you eat the temple of doom gauntlet? That's a heart. Right. They pull the heart out. Bugs. There's bugs and they'll come out of the wall and then

brain monkey. They eat monkey brains. Could you, could you handle the temple of doom gauntlet? Do I get to hang out with short round? Yes, he is there. Then yes, I'm in it. I mean, if I get to bottle around with short round, that's it. That's all it took. Yeah. 100%. Now guys got some stories. Quick question. Does short round have to be the age is now or the age you was back then. I want vintage short round baby. What a surprise. Heart is like the heart is strange to me. Yeah. Even though I think this podcast will end with me eating your heart. I don't, I don't know if, I don't know if I could hit like, like any of that stuff that just like feel like I've never, I've actually never had like a, what is it? Is it

liver and onions? I've never, I've never even done that, which I feel like it's kind of like the most. That was like a staple dish in America. Yeah. There was a whole dug episode about that. Yeah. I don't know if you guys remember. Oh yeah. Cause classic Doug, he, he gets invited to a dinner at Patty Mane's house and you know, oh, what a deal that is. And he's like, what are we having? And she's a liver and onions and he spends the whole week stressing about it and having nightmares about it. And finally like asks his parents to go to a restaurant and tries it so that he will like not gag and will look nice. And then he shows up and it's a fucking pizza party. And she's like, that was a joke, you dork. Wow. Yeah. I think if I remember correctly, Roger was like,

if you don't eat the liver and onion, she's not going to fuck you. Jesus. Yeah, I got real crash. The show was very blue. Remember Roger was green, correct? Yeah. When the show seemed pretty normal, but Skeeter was blue. I mean, there were lots of different colors. It's a very diverse cast. Chelsea, you got to start your Doug podcast. Yeah. We'll take a quick break. We're going to be right quick with more dough boys. Welcome back to dough boys. We're talking Chipotle, Mitch. I thought up another musicals one. Do you want me to do it? Yes, please. Okay. Hey, if you're a sports fan out there, maybe learn about 42nd street. And if you're a theater dork, learn a little something about

number 42, Jackie Robinson. Jesus. You know, I think, I think sports fans, sports fans should think about a funny thing happened on the way to the forum. And I think theater fans should learn about the LA forum. Great. I think great Western forum. It's more, but that was good. That was a good attempt. I like that. Oh no. Hold on. Hers was better. Hers was, I liked hers better. Thank you. Isn't it called the great Western forum? But you can say that it wasn't at the LA forum. Is it now just called the forum? That's what I thought it was. The forum. All right, then you were right. I'm sorry for correcting you. What the fuck? That was very mansplaining of me. I'm being problematic here. Actually, I always noticed the great Western

forum, but I guess it lasts the great Western sponsorship at one point. Now it's just the forum. Was it not called the Los Angeles forum at one point? I could. I know the LA Coliseum, which would undermine my whole point. No, it's fine. I know the LA Coliseum is what it's called. I always thought the forum was called the great Western forum, but wait, hold on. I'm looking this up. I don't know why I'm keep looking things up in this episode. Because you're dumb and you rely on your... Okay, hold on. Here we go. I'll think of a better one. No, that was great. It was great. It's called the forum. It was formerly known as the great Western forum until 2003. It's now sometimes known as the LA forum. So Chelsea, you were correct. Okay. I was wrong

to correct you. Bitch. Oh, thank God. I'm wrong about so many things. That's what I'm... I missed the wrong year. Nick, the mansplainer one. All right. Let's get to Chipotle. So we went this afternoon. Now, this is a thing that would sometimes be a work lunch when we're at midnight, Chelsea. And I remember it being a thing, because again, you're a very picky eater, but this was one of the places that you were up for. I always advocated for it. I always wanted Chipotle, because I feel like it's a good blend of things where people can get something a little healthy if they want to just do beans and meat, have more protein, or if people want to fucking go nuts, they can get some chips, they can get some... Now they have the queso,

they can get burritos with... They can really load it on. So I feel like it's a good thing for everybody. But then that quickly got shut down once the whole people getting diarrhea thing happened. Oh, yeah. Suddenly, suddenly the office was squeamish, which to me, I'm like, you know what? You got to take that risk. Right. You got to live your life. That's part of the thrill of Chipotle. You roll those dice. You might die. That's fine. Dysentery might happen. If restaurants shut down when Nick and I got diarrhea, all of them would be shut down. But I hear you. I think it's a... You can get a big-ass burrito, you can get a little salad, or a bowl. So it's funny going into this. We should tell you this. This is kind of loaded

because we gave Chipotle, I think five... I think I might have given it five, four. We all gave it five, four. This is our seventh episode. This was very early on with Mike Hanford, our friend. And we reviewed Chipotle, and it was their first intranet and what we call the Platinum Plate Club, which is something that gets five forks all around. So it's held in high esteem here in the Doe Boys podcast, or at least it is canonically. But I think as time has passed, that was a while ago. That was... It was. So that was episode seven. This is like episode one-eighteen or something like that. So it's been a while. It's been a couple of years, almost two full years. Things have definitely changed for sure. And I think we maybe... I think I maybe

don't view Chipotle as charitably as I once did. No. I mean, I think that's fair. I also, you know, there was a time where it was the only Mexican food I ate. Right. And then, you know, I guess since then, I've kind of tried other things. And, you know, I would say there are better Mexican places, which I'm sure most of the country already knows. Apologies to Hispanic people who are like, yeah, no shit. But yeah, for a long time, it just, you know, that was kind of the safe bet, not too spicy. You know, you can kind of... If you don't want any spice, you can kind of get the chicken. It's pretty amenable. But I think it's always solid. I feel like I've never had a bad meal. That said, actually, the only time I have had a bad meal is some places will serve you corn

that's like still frozen. The corn, I think, can break an entire meal. Oh, boy. I stay away from that corn there. I only go with that hot salsa. I never get that corn. Oh, the corn's good. It's really sweet. Okay. No corn for you, huh? No. All right. You know, I don't get the corn salsa there either, but I'm a huge corn fan. I think I stayed away just because I like the green salsa so much. Get both. Yeah, you can do whatever you want. You can get every single one. Oh, yeah. File it on, baby. You're 100% right. I feel like, I feel like even though like we were charitable to to Chipotle, there's still a lot that I do like about it. And a lot of what you're saying is what I do like about it. And visiting there today made me feel that way. But I will say this.

What surprised me today when we went, we went pretty decent, like within the window of like heavy lunch hour between, it was like 115, 120. Yeah. And not a lot of people in there. I was kind of surprised by that where, and I don't know how the one here on Vine is, the one in Hollywood, it might have still is always just packed. But it felt like the numbers had gone down a little bit. You feel like the eye of Sauron is off Chipotle a little bit, how people are maybe not going to it at the amount they used to. I think so. That's just amazing. I think it's possible. I think that's definitely true because I, you know, don't go there like a lot, a lot, but I go there regularly. And, and it definitely, it used to be, there was always a huge line. And I feel like now it's,

it's often not, though that particular one that we went to, I mean, there are two other Chipotle's within walking distance. So it could just be over saturation. Yeah. They're kind of in, they've kind of got Starbucks proximities there. It's, it's like crazy how many Chipotle's there. Which I feel like just saying something for that corporation, like that will fail. I feel like they're, they're like, I just feel like restaurants are different from Starbucks. You know what I mean? Like obviously, like a, where like the one, the fact that there's, there's literally, you're right, like literally walking distance. You don't need that. Yeah. So I feel like there's going to, if there, there's a lot of instances around the, around the country with that, I feel

like there's going to be some Chipotle closures in the future. Yeah. I think it's possible because I think there definitely was a time when it was a novelty and people would go there is like, because they were like excited to go there as opposed to, oh, it's something to eat. You know what I mean? Like it's like, oh, let's go to Chipotle. It's like this cool place where you can make your own burrito. And that was like a big, a big part of its marketing. But I also, I also suspect, and I don't have any evidence outside from anecdotal for this, but I also suspect that Chipotle, even if they're maybe don't have the same lines out the door as they once used to, I think they're doing a lot of business in that office lunch department, which is, you know,

we were talking about that a second ago, but I think I've worked a number of jobs where if they're going to doing some sort of office lunch order, they're going to Chipotle because it's like, they have everything. They actually just have an email now, which they'll send out to everyone. And then you can just like, you can just checkmark what everything that you want on there like Chipotle online form and it'll put it all into one order and they'll just have it ready for pickup for you. Yeah. I mean, I've also been in offices where they do it. Basically, they give you a giant thing of cheese, a giant thing of that. And you can basically set up your own little like make it yourself line, which is always fun. Yeah. I mean, every job I've ever

worked has done like their big treat to the employees is everyone gets diarrhea. And I mean, I don't know. I think it's great. Yeah. They really did kind of get into that market. I feel like before other places did, like there were always like sub shops, like subway, but you know, that never felt like a treat. Yeah, absolutely. And it is funny to me that like Taco Bell, Nick and I don't like when, like when people are like Taco Bell, like gives you diarrhea. Now it's like Chipotle gives you diarrhea and it because it happened. It was like, right. It's a fact. It literally happened, which is very funny to me. Like, well, the place that's like the classier version, what people think of the classier

version of Taco Bell is actually the place that got people sick. Yeah. That doesn't bother me. People get sick from restaurants. People have died from McDonald's. They've died from all these places. Yeah. Like whether it's health related or like, did people die from McDonald's? Yeah, there was another died from Jack in the box. They also died from McDonald's. Yeah. There was some guy like there's a big, like a gun in his big Mac. They took a bite and like fire a bullet on his head off. Yeah. That's horrible. It seems like it's on the guy. Yeah. You probably should have noticed that gun in the big Mac and the weight difference and everything. Did he order gun on those? And I think he did. I think he actually did order with a gun. So that's on him.

That's his bad ordering. It was when you know that McDonald's has those screens and you can do kind of do it your way. Right. There is an option to put a loaded gun between the big Mac sandwich. It's weird. They have all these inedible objects on there. Some of them that are very dangerous. Like, you know, you can just put a sponge or like the throwing star is actually really good. Yeah. I mean, you can, you know, you'll pay for it later, but that throwing star is pretty yummy if you want to mix it up. Imagine getting a sponge in your burger. Right. That's very funny to me. I mean, I'm just saying whatever things happened. People got sick. I feel like that happens all the time. I feel like Chipotle

really took a hit for it. And I'm like, why? Why is this so much worse? It was just the scale of it. Because I've been on the other side of that exact argument, you know, of your side. Because again, Nick knows in that, in that writer's room at midnight, I was always fighting for it. I was like, it's they're done. They fixed the problem. It's like how I always feel like after like a plane crash, it's like, you know, you don't need to worry about flying. Right. Now everyone's really on their game. Statistically, it's not going to happen again. Yeah. Except for Malaysia Airlines. Had a repeat right away. You know, that's the exception that proves the rule. Yeah. But but yeah, but but I the counter argument to me was that it was such a big scale. Usually,

it's like, oh, a handful of people are one location, but it was like a hundred locations. It was like they all gave you diary. I think also, too, there's something to, you know, place like Jack in the Box and it did almost ruin Jack in the Box's business. But like, let's not use that example. Like to say with Taco Bell, Taco Bell isn't trying to have their marketing be like, like, you know, fresh, organic, you know, we're working with with local farmers, whereas I feel like Chipotle is kind of trying to be the, you know, like we're, we're the, we're the fresh, healthy option. We don't have any freezers, which is a good thing. Yeah. But I mean that. So, okay. So they have, when they have a food contamination scandal, that's so,

you know, kind of breaks the myth that they've established with their marketing that maybe it's kind of jarring to their customers. Or maybe it's because of those reasons that that happens. Yeah. Maybe this fresh food is fucking poison. Or maybe because it's fresh and it's not refrigerated, something happened and it happened. I mean, like whatever it happened. It's like farmers market lettuce. Sometimes they'll just be a worm on there. Oh, yeah. You know, it's fresh from the farm. I said this on the tender green episode. There was a little bug in my tender greens one time. There was a little, there was, and one time I went to Paquito Moss. This is my, one of my favorite places to eat in LA. That's like a fast, kind of fast casual,

like, uh, Chelsea, I've never heard of it. Oh, I love it. It's kind of a mini chain all over, but yeah, it's akin to a Chipotle, but I think a little bit more upscale and not quite the same customizability, but they, they, I think you'd like it. I think you would. I think you would like it. It's, and so I, I got a power plate or something. I got one of those plates and there was a little bug, almost like roach like on, on that, that when I took off the thing and I think it was, I think it truly was just on the, like wherever they were storing the containers. Right. And I'm like, stuff like that happens. It's fine. It's like bummed me out. Yeah. And, and, and, and, and it was a little tiny guy. It was not a big issue, but it was still like, I was like, what the

fuck? Yeah. But like, I still went back there and the like bugs are going to get in stuff. It sucks. I like, like, I, like I said, I've had an aunt in my soda before, but I like, unless, and I feel like unless it's like a specific restaurant or something, like if it's a specific restaurant, I go a bug there. Maybe I would never go back. I may be probably still even what if I liked it, but I think you can tell when there's, when there's like a, like a level of quality or something. And Chipotle doesn't, to be fair to them, they don't feel that way. I just feel like they got a bad batch. They got a bad batch and it happened. But anyways, enough defending them. Let's get into the queso because I think that there's a lot to talk about there. Right. That was,

so that was part of our reasoning for revisiting Chipotle at this time is that they've introduced queso. Chelsea, you haven't had it. No, I've been wanting to try it. Well, we went and tried it today. We got a large queso with large chips to share in addition to a regular order, but let's start with that queso. What were your thoughts, the digging bites of that? All right. So it wasn't bad, I will say, but it wasn't as good as I hoped. It felt a little bit bland. It was, I mean, obviously it's cheesy. It has, you know, it's cheese, but usually queso, I feel like has a little bit of a kick to it, you know, especially like, I don't know, it would be so easy to, to amp that up. I feel like if they just added a little bit of like brightness to the flavor, a little bit of spice,

something to make it a little bit more memorable. Cause honestly, like, I don't know why you would ever get it. It was so mild. It was basically, it was like velvita mild. There was no spice to it at all. Do you know what though? No, it's funny. I actually, not disagree with you, but I'm one of my, I wish it was more cheesy. Like, like one of the first thing I showed when I took a bite of it, I was like, this is like mealy. Like, and, and what was, how did you describe it? A better word than mealy? Yeah. It like, it would like, well, for me, it tasted like canned soup. It kind of like had that sort of texture. We're kind of had a little, I felt like it was like grainy or mealy. It was very weird. Like the, like, I wanted it to be

more cheesy. Had some grit to it. Great. Yeah. Great. Great is what you said, I believe. And, and, and I just was like, why is this so grainy? And I didn't like, it was almost like I was like eating like a weird version of oatmeal on chips. Right. And then, and then as time went on, I agree with you. It needed more color, more flavor, more, it needed to be more vibrant and, and, and, in many ways, and, and, and it would just kind of was not. It just kind of, it didn't look good. You know what I mean? Right. Like, and then as I kept, definitely wasn't visually appealing. No. And then as I kept eating it, I did enjoy it more. I'll say that, that I got a little addicted and was, and was eating it more and more. Cause we got, we got a large bag of chips,

large thing of queso. And I did. So I ate quite a lot. It's a lot of queso. It doesn't look like a lot, but it's a lot. Yeah. It's a lot. And we did not finish it. There was still a good quarter left, maybe somewhere around there. Yeah. But, but I, but I got a little addicted to it and ate some of it. So it's not terrible. No, not terrible. It's definitely not bad. I mean, so what I had said there that I'll just say again on the podcast is just that my guess is that because they, because when I was going down the line, they offer like queso on your burrito. So I think because they're, they're just pitching it as like, Oh, it's just a topping. It's just another condiment. They probably want to make it mild and, you know, really, really low key so that it goes

with anything. But I think then it really takes away because if you're going to do queso and chips, you want that queso because the chip is the carrier. You don't want the queso to just be extra, you know? So I just think it's kind of a missed opportunity. Yeah. Hey, Chipotle just introduced their new dip, a cup of water. Yikes. I just feel like it also feels like it has this weird feeling of like, uh, like when you, when you start offering queso and cups of water to dip your food in, right? It just, it just feels like you're, you're struggling here and like, didn't it feel like what Chipotle, what was it was like so thought out? This is what we are here are ingredients. This is what we do. And then like, it's like now queso. And it's like, Oh no, this feels like

a chain that's like queso now. You know what I mean? Like, how does this fit in with your concept? And is that kind of like, now you're going in this kind of Tex-Mex direction, but what does that have to do with your kind of, you know, your sort of fresh sort of the aesthetic that you just sort of established? I don't know. It feels a little bit strange. I get what you're saying. Yeah. I feel like, I don't know. I think there'd even be a way to like lean into the fresh aspect. Like if they like, I don't know, if they were like more, I guess, like chunks in the like queso soup of like, you know, of seeing that cilantro or even some peppers or tomato, you know, like other things in it, as opposed to just, it seems like

they put a bunch of things in a blender and then it just kind of got this like chunky, you know, this kind of not chunky, but like you said, mealy thing at the end. And I don't even know if they make it in the restaurant. Like to me, it felt like that arrived in cans and they just opened it up. And I think that's what that ties in with what they were saying about the freshness. Yeah. Yeah. I just, I definitely disappointment, but again, I'm with you. You can, I like a big Chipotle burrito. I also like, like a Chipotle just feels like subway to me in some ways now where I'm like, except it's health, you can get something even healthier than subway because you don't have to get bread. And I, and I genuinely like the Chipotle like salad more than I probably like

eating like a Subway Turkey sub or something. But my mind, I'm like, uh, it's like fast food that you can get and not have it be terrible. Like you eat a Chipotle salad and feel okay, right? Not feel terrible about it. So should we talk about what we ate? Absolutely. Okay. Chelsea, let's start with you. What was your meal today? Okay. So I got a salad with barbacoa. I got, I get both kinds of rice cause you know, fuck it. Hell yeah. No beans. She's a tiny bit of hot salsa and corn. Right. And then I put the green Tabasco on top and I get a tortilla on the side because I find so basically if you get the actual burrito, I find that the ingredient distribution is not ideal. That's absolutely true. So by taking the tortilla on the side, I tear off little pieces

and then make little mini burritos that I eat by hand, but it takes me way longer. I took like twice the time to eat my burrito as the rest of you. But, uh, but I don't know, it kind of makes it more of like an activity. I like a lot of foods that are activities. Like I love pomegranates, like anything that feels like a challenge. So I don't know, getting to like make your little burrito and scoop it in. I don't know. I find it really fun. And I thought my, my meal was like amazing. It was really great. Wait. So you get the one big flour tortilla and tear off pieces. Yes. You ever, did you ever try that with a corn tortillas or you not fuck around with corn tortillas? I didn't even know they had corn tortillas. I think they got, or wait, are those little ones

corner or they flower? I feel like they're little corn ones for the soft tacos. I, I've only had the flour, small ones. Maybe they're flour. I might, they might also have corn ones, but I, I think the default is flour. I never, I don't, I had the tacos with, I think I, we had corn one time we did it, but maybe you have to like ask if you, you know, can't have gluten or something. They probably have that option. The tacos are like the forgotten managed Chipotle. I feel like no one ever gets the talk. People forget they even have them. I feel like people don't even know that they have hard shell tacos. Oh, you're talking about the hard shell ones? Oh, okay. I think they do have a soft corn, but they, the hard ones as

well. I think people forget they exist. Yeah. I've gotten them in the past. They're, they're great. Yeah. What's going on in the kids? Something's happening in the kitchen. What's going on? You songs up to something. My smoke detector just went off. Is that what it is? Yeah. That's my smoke detector right here. What a pleasing smoke detector sound. It's, it's, that would make me go right back to bed. Yeah. It's the, it will go, it will go off for sure. So you, yeah, you saw, you got to close that door. He's you song. Yeah. Trap you song in the, in the kitchen where there's a fire. He's going to die of smoke inhalation. That looks beyond you. You song looks like principal Skinner when his, his steamed hams with the fire behind them Aurora bowling Alice

in this time of year. I know that my nest, my nest smoke alarm. That's it's a nest. It's a nest. Look, it's glowing right next to you. Wait, it's on the table. It's on the table. Aren't you supposed to mount that somewhere? You are, but it was way too complicated. All right. And hell, hell, it fucking works. I guess so. Only if you're at the table. Right. When the fire happens. And then you just close the door to your kitchen where the smoke is being contained. So I, I, you song doesn't know if a fire is going on in there. He could be cooking to death. Right. We know right now it is still blue. It looks like it still is. It's nest protect. Again, you're, you're trusting it based off of where we are. Oh, wait, wait a minute. I just,

it just alerted me that it just did a sound, a sound check. And this was just weird circumstances where we're using the oven and it went off. This was totally by coincidence. 100%. Wow. What are the odds? All right. Thank you. Anyways, sorry, sorry for that. Um, that's silly. Nick, you talk to it. You know how to talk to these things. You think I'm also a machine so I can communicate directly with this interface. I had a salad as well. I had, um, I asked for, I asked for actually both kinds of rice, but I said, I just want like a little, little bit of each. And they probably, like, I think there was like 17 grains of rice on there. Like she put the littlest, right? It was the craziest thing I'd ever seen. I was like, huh, that's funny. So I

didn't say anything and I didn't care because I shouldn't be eating rice anyways. And then the same thing with the beans, I got black beans and she put like literally seven beans. She was like being very, very careful with it, which is, which was nice. So that was fine. And the reason that I did both right, both kinds of rice, because there was so, there was like nothing. Like when she put the white rice on that was like five grains of rice. I'm not even kidding. It was like nothing. And so, um, I did double chicken, a lot of protein. Hell yeah. And then I did tomato salsa. I did the green salsa. I did some sour cream. So that's not good for you, but I did it. And I did a terrible for you. Not terrible for you. And then I did, um, some cheese. And so that was, that was my whole

thing. He offered me the dressing. I said, yes, I was going to maybe try it with the lettuce when I got to the bottom. I never needed it, but then also I didn't get it. It got lost. It got lost down the line. It got lost somewhere. It's probably still in there somewhere. I should have gotten guac. I didn't get guac, but, uh, I, I, I, here's the thing. That was, it's good. I mean, like, especially if I didn't feel too bad about it. I got a lot of protein. I didn't feel like sick after I ate it. And I felt, I know that there's cheese and sour cream, but it still felt like into the realm of being not bad for you. And you came straight from the trainer. So you were straight from the trainer. You're extra hungry. Right. And you were wary of undoing that workout

and so you got something reasonably nutritious that you don't feel like you, you compromised. Yeah. I mean, there were two things on it that were bad. Right. Let's not, let's be honest, but, but it still, I felt pretty good about it. Right. Um, I went for a swim this morning. So I too had a little bit of a fitness regimen. A swim boy. I was a big swim boy. Um, and so I, I, I came over, uh, pretty hungry myself. This is the first thing I ate in a day. I felt like I had to get a burrito because I, I, I feel like this is what Chipotle is known for. Even though it's not something I usually get from there, I just was like, I got to get that Chipotle burrito. This is the house that the burrito built. Um, let me, let me fuck around with this thing. So I got a burrito with

brown rice, pinto beans, chorizo, which is a protein I haven't had from there before, fajita veggies, a hot salsa cheese, sour cream, and then I added some guac. What a Chelsea mentioned earlier, uneven ingredient distribution plagued this burrito. And I just got, you know, I got a, one bite of just pure guac and it was just such a, nothing else. Just, it was just tortilla and guac. And I feel like that, that just needed to be spread around a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that, that is definitely a problem, but I really find, I feel that if you just get it as a burrito bowl, right? I mean, it's completely unavoidable. You can even have them put the tortilla under as like the lining of the bowl. And then it's so good. I mean, this, I guess this is the issue

with it is that then the appeal of the burrito for me is that it's a handheld and then it's easy to eat. But then this, the other thing that, the other issue with this, and the chorizo was pretty good, you know, I would have liked it to be a little bit spicier, but I think it's got, it's got a decent flavor to it. I'm not necessarily protein I'd get again. I might, I might go with a barbaco, which I usually get, but this burrito didn't have any sort of structural integrity. It really fell apart. It started getting holes in it. It started bursting at the seams. I usually notice that sort of thing. I didn't see you struggling. Yeah. It fell apart in my hands. And then by the end I had gotten up to get a fork to eat the rest of it.

I feel like most of the time that happens, I just, I don't know that I consider that a negative. I don't, I think that's part of the joy is like, you know what I mean? It's like bursting at the scene. Like half the time it like gets a hole just as they're wrapping it. Sometimes they, sometimes they put another tortilla. Yes. Yeah. It's, I feel like, I don't know, that's part of the joy of it is that, you know, it's just going to, I don't know, it's like a time bomb. It's just going to explode in your hands at some point. I get, I get what you're saying. I mean, maybe I've just turned all the negatives into positives in my head that I'm like, Oh, it's fun. It's fun. I think, I think it is fun. I think you're, I think you're not wrong.

I think, I think the burrito can be fun. I don't know. I don't like getting the bad is a good thing. I get what you're saying, but for me, it's just like, it's such a mess. And I would just rather, I don't know. I'd rather have a burrito that I can get all the way through and then not have to resort to utensils. Cause I feel like once I resort to utensils, it's like, okay, this is kind of failed. And it's like, what if you had a sandwich and every time you like, like, okay, I know three quarters of the way through this sandwich, I'm going to have to go to a knife and fork. See, I feel like that happens with a lot of like burgers and a lot of things. I feel like, I don't know. That's fair. I think that if you're getting that many ingredients

in any, in any combination, whether it's a sandwich or a burger burrito, like you have to know that at some point it's, it's not sticking together. Can I also just say, yeah, I think you're bad at it. You think I'm bad at building my own burrito? I think you're bad in handling it. I can, I've had those burritos almost burst. I can fucking take it down. You think I've been like, I've been piercing holes in it with my fingernails or something? I think so. I think you're, you're, you're, you're sticking your fingers. Are you like too handy or are you just like, I saw a meeting and he starts from the center. You bite right into the center of it. You started playing catch with it. What are you doing, Nick?

Look, I eat this burrito. I feel like I'm, I'm a clumsy man. I spill a lot, but I feel like I'm eating this burrito the proper way. I'm using a two-handed grip. I don't feel like I'm gripping it too tightly. I think it's possible my bites are maybe pushing some of, like the force of a bite is pushing some of the ingredients towards the end. So many burritos always end up with pockets of, you're going to get a pocket of sour cream or cheese or something that happens. I just, I like, yes, it was particularly bad with this one. I feel like it was a very good burrito. I just like, if I'm going to find some nits to pick, it would be that this, this, this son of a bitch fell apart and I feel like that, that I just got

a big old bite of guac and just, but again, go for it Chelsea. No, I just, I feel like if they really wanted to amp things up at Chipotle, that it would be great. Like, have you guys ever been to a chopped salad? No, I've never been there. Okay. So it's a New York chain, but it's, oh, it's so good. But how they do it is they put all of your ingredients into a bowl and then they shake up the bowl. And then if you, because even for their like, they have tortillas, so like their wraps, then they put all the, all the ingredients into that tortilla and wrap it. That sounds great. If they did something like that at Chipotle, basically like mix it up, your guac, you're all of that, like shake it up and then put it in there. You would get a perfect

bite the entire burrito. That might be fun, but I also wonder visually if that's just going to look like a gray slurry, you know what I mean? It would also slow things down. Yeah, I would. But, but I like the, I like the spirit of that idea. Cause like if you're like, if you don't see what's in the burrito, it's like basically you don't, the visual doesn't matter that much. You just want it to be, you want all those bites to be consistent. Um, yeah, I don't know. I wish also too, they kind of had like a warning, like maybe like a little, like a little chime, like your smoke detector did when it was doing that test where if you're putting too many ingredients on, they should just give you

like a little warning buzzer to let you know that that's the most embarrassing shit. It's all like staying in line. It's like, ding, like too many ingredients. But then, but then you'd know, like, okay, I'm put, this is at this point, from this point forward, it's on me. Like I've reached the limit of ingredients. I've reached the threshold. I got to put some things back and I want this tortilla to hold. Otherwise, there's no guarantees. This thing might just think it out for God's sake. Whatever. I shouldn't have gotten fajita veggies. Fajita veggies added moisture and add, I never get them. I shouldn't I don't think the fajita veggies are. I fucked up. I fucked up. It was my fault.

The burrito fell apart. I didn't do a good job of eating it and I didn't do a good job ordering it. Are you happy, Mitch? It's yes, I am actually. Let's get to our final thoughts in Chipotle. So Chelsea, this is how this will work. We'll go around. We'll sort of give our closing argument, if you will, and then give this a rating on the order of one to five forks. We'll start with you. Okay. So I was let down by the case. So there's no way around that. That said, I still think Chipotle is a class act when it comes to chain restaurants. It's always reliable. Here's what I'll say. I am so full and in a way that's bad, but in a way like one meal is enough for the entire day. That's true. And I feel like usually when that happens, it's because

then I just feel too sick the rest of the day to eat, but like I don't feel sick. I just feel very full. Right. And so you know what? I'm going to say I'm going to give it four out of five because I think it's one of the best fast casual places that I can think of. Four forks. Very good score. Go ahead, Mitch. We were two charitable to Chipotle. What are you doing? No, no, no. I'm going to go. Oh, no, I'm going to do that. You can sit down. I hit myself in my forehead when I was putting my headphones back on. I'm going to guess that you're so mad right now because I told you to sit down and then you hit your head with your, I was trying to get, I know, I knew what you're doing, but I'm going to go in there and check on things.

Okay. So it's cool. Okay. You and Chelsea can see. Well, you don't have to snap at me. I'm not snapping at you. I was just telling you to sit, sit the fuck down. Guys, are you breaking down? We'll never break up. This happens every episode. That really hurt. That hurt more than, I don't look like it hurt because it hurt pretty bad. Your forehead is really red. I think, so for the audience out there, what happened is that Mitch told me to, like I just stood up and just took my, taken my headphones off, my cans, if you will, and Mitch told me to sit back down because I was going to go get set up the next segment. And while I was putting my head, trying to put my headphones off, I'm back on over my head in a hurry after Mitch told me to sit down.

They, like I let go too quickly with my right hand and it snapped back and just whacked me in the forehead. I was putting on my left ear and it hurt quite a bit. It looked like I got a welt now. I think we have to get a CT. The red is going down, but like it really did look like you got slapped in the face. Man, you look like a, uh, uh, Arnold Schwarzenegger towards the end of T2 when he has like a cut, like a cut in his head. And there you can see part of his metal skull. Uh, sorry, Nick. Sorry. You, you, you bumped your forehead. Um, anyways, back to my review, sit the fuck down and listen to me, please. Um, uh, we, you know, we, we were too charitable to Chipotle. Yes. But Chelsea, I think you make a lot of great points about Chipotle. I, I,

I think that Chipotle is still good. It's still, you can, you can get a fun burrito if you want. And I still enjoy the taste of the chicken burrito. That is one of my favorite things to get there, but I do really like the bowls. I like that they, you can have some good ingredients, food that tastes good. And I know it's not great for you, but it's slightly better. Yes. And I think that we, like we were needing to tender greens too. And I feel like these things serve a purpose. Sure. They're the thing of like, like you were saying, let's go to Chipotle and make it a thing. But like you need these places that you eat at, that you eat, that you go to every week or every other week or something like that. You need a solid work spot. Yeah. You need the solid

work spot or the solid after work dinner. Sure. Then when you're going to go home and just eat it in front of the TV, like a sad loser. Uh, yeah. Somewhere you can meet friends and you know, no one is ever going to be like Chipotle. You know what I mean? It's something that's just, everyone can always go there. Sure. And, and so for that reason, my score isn't a four. I'm going to give it three and a half, you know what, three and three quarter forks. Wow. You can do that. Yeah. You can. Wow. You can do anything you like on this thumb show. Um, do you want to, do you want to alter your score? I'll think about it. Okay. I think, I think your story is good because I feel like I gave subway like maybe like a three or something like that.

And I like Chipotle more than I like subway. Right. And I think that it, that it's still good. So, so that's, that's where I land on it. I don't put it into our golden platinum play club. I don't even put into our golden play club, but still a good option. I still like a lot of stuff. The, the fucking queso is a let down. I think, I don't even know. I don't think it will last, but yeah. So, so that's, that's how I feel about it. Two charitable, but I think three point seven, five forks is, is right in its wheelhouse. Three forks, three times. Okay. Mitch is going to step out. Um, Chelsea, I think you're right about that. This is a very filling words. This is a very filling spot, but I don't feel sick because I had the same thing. I hate,

I had a giant burrito. I never have burrito. I never have a meal that large, like, especially not for lunch. I had a gigantic burrito and I feel full, but I feel full in a satiated way. Yeah. I feel like I'm just like, okay, I can still function. I don't need to take a nap. I don't have the rumblies. I'm just going to, I can just continue on my day as if it were a normal day, just perhaps a little bit fuller than usual. I agree with Mitch on the queso, agree with you on the queso. It's nothing to write home about. It's, it's functional. It's fine, but not particularly exciting. Um, I think they, I think their menu gets it done and I think they get it done and I don't think

it's fantastic, but I think it's very good. And I think it's, it does absolutely serve a purpose among chains in terms of delivering something of consistent quality that appeals to a wide group of people and doesn't really offend anybody. And I think that's, that, that is absolutely worth something. So I am going to say four forks. Wow. Even though you fucked it up, I fucked it up a little bit. Look, I didn't look. Here's the thing. I still like it. I give it five forks originally. I think that was too far. But I think four forks is about where this chain belongs. I have, I think that, but that's about where their, their ranking is in the pantheon of chain restaurants. And that's what I'm going to go with. So it's just outside, just knocking on the door of

the golden play club. Maybe we'll get Mitch to resign here to review his score and maybe nudge it up a little bit to get it in there. Maybe he likes being, just being on the outside. We'll see. Yeah. I think that, that seems right though. Well, thank you. Um, well, that was our review of Chipotle. Uh, we're going to have a regular segment coming up. But first off, Chelsea, you're about to move to New York city. Big postal move plan. Like this weekend, you're going right into it. Yeah. I just found out I got a new job and, uh, they told me yesterday that it starts Monday. So congratulations. Thank you. But yeah, it is crazy. I just booked a ticket and, uh, yeah, trying to figure out my life. You live there for, cause how long have you been in LA now?

A couple of years, three years? Yeah. I've been here for two years. Okay. And before that, I had been in New York for nine years. So like, I know New York. I went to NYU. Right. Yeah. But, uh, but you know, I've been in both places and LA, uh, is a much easier place to live. So, okay. So food wise, cause this is a big ongoing debate is LA versus New York. What are you going to, and again, you know, you're, you're a picky eater. So I know it'll be viewed through that prism. Is there anything you're going to miss from LA that you can't get in New York and anything you're excited to get back in New York that you haven't been able to get here? Oh, okay. Uh, so I think LA has terrible pizza. Like really, I know that's not like a hot take,

right? Um, on a hot pizza. Um, but, uh, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I've, I've been to, uh, MASA, uh, you know, to try their like deep dish and stuff. And I mean, that's the thing. They have some interesting pizzas here, but aside from, uh, MASA, MASA, I think is really good pizza. Um, but that's like $20 pizza. Right. That's like the upscale fine dining pizza. Yes. Exactly. That's like celebrity chef pizza. That's not a real New York slice. You can fold in half, buddy. But in general, I would say the pizza isn't as good here. And, uh, the Indian food, I think, is a lot better in New York as well. That's interesting. I haven't heard that observation before, but I can believe it. In my, in my experience, it seems like in New York, there

are a lot of like little hole in the wall places. I mean, especially if you go to like, you know, the, you know, in like just above like Union Square, I mean, there's, there's a ton of things. Uh, there's just a ton of great places that are really good. You can get kind of more Americanized, more authentic. It's kind of up to you where it's here. There's more options in, in New York. Yes. Especially yeah, ethnic food. I mean, there's just, you can't get do better than there, but LA, okay. In general, the produce is much better in LA. Right. Um, everything's very fresh. Um, there's a lot of farmers markets here. There's a lot. I mean, California, people, a lot of people forget this. California is the top agricultural state in the nation.

That's wow. That's crazy. Right. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's great here is for that. Um, I mean, obviously Mexican food. Uh, I think that's a part of the reason that I never really liked Mexican food beyond Chipotle is that honestly, a lot of New York Mexican food isn't that great. Yeah. You come out here and you get to go to like an authentic taqueria or one of those great top trucks. It's so fucking good. Oh yeah. It really, it tastes completely different, especially with like fresh produce in it. I mean, in the taco, I mean, it's just, yeah, it's night and day. So I'm definitely, uh, you know, that's kind of a difference. Um, oh boy. I don't know. There's, there's a lot of good things both places that are different.

I'm a big ice cream head. Like I'm a real snob about ice cream. You and Nick together. Oh my god. I finally went to sweet, sweet rose creamery. Yeah. What bullshit. It was horrible. You didn't like sweet rose. It was horrible. I got so upset. I felt truly betrayed. What did you get from sweet rose? Oh god. I think I got like a cookie dough or something. I feel like I got like, or maybe the strawberry. I honestly can't even remember, which is shocking. We went in there and I like kept trying flavors because I'm like, it must've just been that flavor. It clearly, it was probably just not the right mix. You went to the Beverly location. I went to the one, uh, I guess, I guess so. I'm turning west Hollywood. Yeah. Yeah. In West Hollywood. I don't have bad

taste. It was so sweet roses below. It reminded me of Van Luen. Have you had that? I've had Van Luen. Van Luen is pretty good. It sucks. Wow. It just straight up sucks. Jesus Christ. God. Knife in my heart. Yeah. It was actively bad. I invite you into Mitch's home and you shit talk my favorite ice cream parlor. You know what you call this place a dump. You should move to New York because you got a New York out of it. No, I mean, okay. So I know that we're not talking about sweet rose creamery here, but this ice cream that Nick likes, I mean, okay. So one, it's all trying to be like just like natural hints of flavor. You know, like it's, it's real authentic mint. It's subtly sweet. Yeah. It's subtly sweet, which means generally it's all pretty bland. Next, it tastes like it's

dairy free ice cream, even though it's not dairy free. It's all icy. The consistency is not creamy. It's like, it really feels like it's, it's mock ice cream, except it's not. It has no excuse, at least when it's mock ice cream, when it's dairy free, it's a sorbet. You're like, well, you know, but it's a sorbet. They did what they could. This is, they had all the tools. They just fucked it up. It was bad and all the toppings. I mean, their toppings were like, I don't know. They were just like dumb and they were on like these little cups. It was like not, I don't know. I just, oh boy, I was, what a let down compared to some of the great ice cream out here. But anyway, there's great ice cream in New York too. I just, I just thought of that I had finally tried

this place. I've never been more paralyzed with a rage. I'm going to have to tell my lovely wife Natalie not to listen to this episode because she will be so mad. Nick, you're a let down in a lot of ways and you got bad taste. Look, but sweet rose is great to segue. I respect your opinion, even though that was, hopefully we're going to look brutal. We're going to send you on on a good note and with a New York favorite. Hell yeah. It's a segment we do, Nick. It's, we got a beverage. We're going to decide if it's worth pouring down your throat. It's a regular segment, drink or stink. This comes courtesy of Joe Mandy, who let us a bunch of these New York seltzers, New York seltzer waters, but these are New York seltzer sparkling waters. So you and I,

big soda nuts, but we're going to try, we're going to, we're going to try these out instead. We got, we got ourselves watermelon, coconut, orange. These have no calories. They're just sparkling water. They're like a LaCroix basically, but with a little different taste. So we, so we're each going to, which one would you like to try first? Have you tried them before? I have. I've tried the sweetest because I'm not a big LaCroix person because usually it's too, let's go with watermelon for you first. Okay. There you go. Actually, we could all try it. Do you want to try it? Should we all try it? Yeah, let's do that. There you go. So Mitch is passing this, passing this can around. We're all pouring it in these blue keg cups. And thank you so much. So this is the

watermelon. And thank you, Joe Mandy. Joe loves, Joe swears by these. So thank you. Boy, that is really not, does not have much sweetness at all. No. It's just kind of the, the, almost the aroma of the flavor. Yeah. I was going to say it smells like watermelon, but then it just tastes like sparkling water. But I really, I really like this one. I like, I feel like this is very, this, this tastes like a good flavored water you would get at, you know, like you sometimes are at, at like a fancy restaurant and they've got just like, like a, a jug of water that's got like cucumbers and limes and stuff to just sort of subtly flavor it. That's what this kind of feels like to me. I kind of, I'll say what I have to say,

but it, but it tastes more like what I want out of a soda in a sparkling water. Right. Then you still got some left. Okay. Do you want to call it? Here, you can use that as a spill cup you want. Okay, great. Thank you. Pour it in my Chipotle glass. Oh, you really, you don't even like that. This is funny to see you. You are, you are definitely, that's funny to not like these. They're like nothing. All right. So we're doing the coconut now. Here's the coconut. This one might be even tougher to taste, is my guess. It smells, it smells very much like lotion. Yeah. I also, I feel like from using the same cup, it still smells more like the watermelon, the watermelon is a more,

do you want a fresh cup? No, no, I just, I'm, it's just an interesting thing. No, perfect. Here you go. Pour a little bit more in that one. There's a coconut there. This one I wouldn't get again. It just, it kind of tastes like the, I actually like it better than the LaCroix coconut, but it's just similar. The aftertaste is off-putting. I really hate it. Oh no. But like I said, I don't like, I don't like sparkling in general. Here is the last one. This is orange. Okay. Now, I don't want to have it loaded, but I liked this one. This, this would strike, my expectation is that this would be the most conventional of these flavors. I mean, watermelon, coconut juice. That doesn't happen every day,

but orange juice is very common. It's a little different than, than what you'd think. Right. Okay. But let's, let's see. Let's see what you think. All right. I'm getting, I'm going to finish off the, polish off the rest of my coconut and then only have some of this. If you want, you can take it from. All right. Here we go. Nice citrusy aroma. Yeah. I would say that one's the best, but I would never drink any of them. Very strange. This one to me tastes, it's just so different that it tastes almost like an orange cream soda. Yeah. And in, but a sparkling water. Right. Not as good as an orange cream soda. I get that. It is, it is, it does very much have that creamy

character. It's, it's, it's strange. It's almost disorienting. Yeah. It, I don't know. It just, I really like what you said about like kind of that infused water. It feels like someone put an orange rind into a sparkling water and then now we're tasting it. Yeah. I don't think you get a lot of the sweetness of the orange. You get, but you just sort of get that general citrusy. So, so Chelsea, if the choices are drink or stink, I'm going to assume you're a, you're a solid stink here. Hard stink. Hard stink on all of them. I would say on all of them, beautiful smells though. The coconut, I agree, was a little lotiony and kind of, but the watermelon especially smells beautiful. I'm going to go

drink all around. Coconut is my closest to stink. Orange is my favorite watermelons in the middle, but I would definitely drink the orange, um, the orange sparkling ones again. I would, I would, I would get those on a, on multiple, I think to truly, I think the watermelon and orange better than the Croy in my mind. I think that's fair. And I think if these were in a, an office fridge, I would not complain, but I don't think I'd ever buy these for myself. So I'm going to give these a, these a soft drink. I feel like not, not like an ink. Oh yeah, these just have an ink. All right. Uh, well, they need the rank otherwise, because otherwise they could, that could be a rank still negative. Okay. So they, they're a dank. No, but that's

too positive. That's too good. Okay. That's very positive. All right. Um, all right. We'll just say these are ink, but not, they're not the, the ink part of, they're the ink part of drink, not the ink part of steak. All right. These are just straight up inks. Um, I think that I would not buy these for myself because I would just rather have on unsweetened water. I'd rather just have like a, the unflavored basic plain seltzer, but these are pretty good. And I think the watermelon in particular is like a really interesting execution of the sort of flavored water concept. I just agree. So you would say watermelon first, then. Yeah. I'd say watermelon, orange coconut, my hierarchy. You're wrong, but also you like the flavorless one the best,

of course. Um, all right. Hey, not bad. Hey, Chelsea, I hope you like your trip to your, your experience living in New York more than you like your experience drinking these New York seltzers. Oh boy. That isn't foreboding. No, it'll be, it'll be fine. New York is a lot better drinks than these. That was drink or stink. Just like a restaurant value feedback. Let's help out the feedback. Today's email comes to us from Robert Miller. Robert writes, how often do you guys feel like fast food advertising works on you? I'm notorious among my friends for being an advertiser's dream. I, I want the food I see on TV. I feel like I'm pretty susceptible. A lot of people I think have tried to say like ads don't work on me,

but I feel like if I see something on a TV, like something that looks good on a commercial, I want to get it right away. Yeah, it totally works on me. I just want to say, Chelsea, New York, the city of drinks is what it's known. Right. There's a ton of drinks that you won't be, you don't have to drink New York seltzer drinks, but they're non-sparkling water is very good too. So I would say try those out. They're good. They're kind of sodas. I can't, I can't wait. They're very good. They come in little glass bottles. They're fun. The city that's never parched, the city that's never parked, the big apple juice. Jesus. I think advertising works very well on me. I remember in college, like the tender, which the song we

played on here, the Burger King, tender, crisp, bacon, ranch, the, the one that Hootie sang or whatever. Right. I feel like anytime there's like a big commercial about a brand new weird food or fast food item, I'm there. I'm immediately getting it. Or I'm at least interested. I want to, I want to try it. Yeah. That's what I really think the queso thing maybe should have been a, like a limited run, like we're just having queso because then I feel like everyone would forgive the fact that it maybe wasn't quite as good because it's like, well, it's only here for a little while. It might as well get it on my burrito. That's a great, that's a great point. I feel like it is that sort of thing of like, like if you're, it's just like, it's here forever

now. It's like, who cares? Like it's over with no one, no one cares. Yeah. No, I think, I think, I think that, that shit works on me very well. Sadly. Right. I think all food marketing is, is so well done how it's done. Like I remember for years, I would always get smart food popcorn because it had the word smart in it and things like that. It's like, it's not healthy at all. There was another type of chips that I would get because it came in a green bag and I was like, that means healthy. And then I looked it up and it wasn't at all. It was just those little tricks though of like, you know, if they just, if it's like earth, earth soil chips, you're like, okay, even if it has nothing to do with health. But I mean, that's, that's more like packaging and

branding, but I think that fast food places use the same thing where like, I mean, Subway convinced the entire country that they were health food. And it's like, they're not, but it just, it works so well. Or like, I don't know. There are so many times where I've seen an ad for a burger that I'm like, well, okay, fine. I'll do it. Yep. I think, I think the thing is in recent memory that, that, the thing in recent memory that most got me to, most worked as a call to action of like, I got to get that was the first time I saw an ad for stuffed crust pizza. That was when I, because I remember seeing that and I remember seeing them pull the, this was years ago. But like, I remember seeing them seeing them pull the crust apart and then just had that cheesy goo

strung between those, those two things across and the crust is normally the least appealing part. But I was like, Oh my God, the crust looks good. That, that like a meat, I think I got that like that week. Yeah. That's, I remember I saw the little Caesar's deep dish commercial with Harris and Harris was like, that looks good as hell. And I was like, I agree. And I went back to his house like a week later and he had had it. And I tried a piece like cold and I was like, it is good. And he's like, it was good. And then I went and got it and it was good. It was great. I love the little Caesar's deep, deep dish pizza was good. Yeah. The Taco Bell Doritos Locos when it was the Doritos shells, I immediately like the next week or something I was traveling and I saw Taco Bell at

the airport and I was like, well, I guess I'm here. So I got them. I got one of every flavor. I think it was four tacos and like, it just immediately like I barely ever go to Taco Bell, but that I had to try it. And it was really good. And this, in this podcast, Chris Pratt infamously made fun of me for my, for, for, because I was very excited about the Doritos Locos time. He was on the podcast. No, he would never come on our podcast. He made it sound like he was, he said that on the podcast. Yeah, I thought he was a guest on the podcast. I mean, he's a funny guy. He could have done it when he was just like Mr. Anna Ferris instead of, you know, the superstar. No, no, no longer I, he's my enemy now. He, I was doing a small thing on Parks and Rec playing Bjorn

Lurpus and he was a, no one knows who that is. I like saying that and that you guys both looked at me like, what does that mean? I remember the character. You know, you know, but I told, I said this on the podcast before, but I was very excited about them and he's a fake fat guy. He like made fun of me for liking him. Fuck you, Pratt. Well, at least now he's finally out as a hot guy again. You expose him hiding behind his flat. Mitch's perspective is a Chris Pratt is my mortal enemy. Chris Pratt's perspective is who's Mitch. What if he like listened to the podcast? There's no way on earth that he knows and if he does, fuck you, I'll fight you right now. You're a big guy. That would be a really fun fight to see. He beat the hell out of me. So

easy. He's in great shape. He's in great shape. I feel like so many Hollywood guys, they're tiny, you know? So he might look like he's in good shape, but he might be short. How tall is he? Do you have any, do you have any sense of that? When I met him, I think he was like eight feet. Oh man. He's playing in the NBA. He's dominating. Oh yeah. He's also Groot. Right. If you have a question or comment about the World of Chain Restaurants, you can email us at doboyspodcasts at gmail.com to get the Do Boys Double, our weekly bonus episode. Subscribe at patreon.com slash doboys. Chelsea Davidson, thank you so much for joining us. Even though you kicked me in the shins on the way out the door, insulting sweet

rose creamery. Mitch is vile. Vile? What the hell? Yeah. He didn't put you on the bus to New York. You did really come in here and just sort of flip us both off and then hop on a plane and say, see a losers. What are you going to do? But please, when you're back in town, come back on the podcast. I would love to. We'll talk more. Do you have anything you'd like to plug in this time? Maybe a week up to your standards. Do I what? Do you have anything you'd like to plug? Oh, just just by Twitter, you know, follow me on Twitter at Chelsea C H E L S E A underscore Davidson. D A V I S O N. There's no second day. It's just Davidson. People always fucking up. Right. Yeah, follower in New York. Say hello. Say hi, guys. Get her one of your famous drinks.

Yeah, not this shit. Yeah, Joe Mandy. I'm certainly making a lot of enemies in LA right now. Wow. So many beefs on Earth here today. That'll do for this episode of Doe Boys. Until next time for the Spoonman, Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weigar. Happy eating. See you. Bye.