Doughboys - Chuck E. Cheese 2 with Griffin Newman

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Griffin Newman (@grifflightning, Turn Me On) joins the 'boys to talk SteelBooks and to debate the famousness of people and objects before a review of Chuck E. Cheese and Pasqually's Pizza & Wings. Plus, we wrap up Love Week with a surprise guest in another edition of The Chewlywed Game.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://computerhistory.org/profile/nolan-bushnell/https://atari.com/pages/history?srsltid=AfmBOoqxmNMClOnig5JFx7V-S6coae0AjKXfVCaGHaDbHCObKnE8QA9Bhttps://www.encyclopedia.com/education/economics-magazines/bushnell-nolanhttps://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/25/arts/five-nights-at-freddys-scott-cawthon.htmlhttps://www.showbizpizza.com/history/index.htmlhttps://www.chuckecheese.com/about/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to youtube.com slash doughboysmedia. We didn't do a square ball and pong because we thought it was cool. We did it because that was all we could do. This was Nolan Bushnell, one of the most important figures in the history of the video game industry. Born in Utah and raised in the LDS church, Bushnell worked at theme parks as a student and found himself drifting away from his faith as he focused on his career in innovating

electronic amusements. The first and most notable was his founding of Atari in 1972, whose revolutionary monochrome table tennis simulation, Pong, would help birth both the coin operated arcade cabinet industry and the home console industry. But Bushnell's actual passion, which had given him dreams of working as a Disney Imagineer, was animatronics. And so in 1977, Bushnell parlayed his Atari Clout

and War Chest into a new enterprise Pizza Time Theatre Though the pizza was actually an afterthought behind the animatronic stage show featuring an anthropomorphic animal band fronted by its rodent mascot Bushnell's background in video arcades also led to expansive kid-friendly amusement areas with games that dispensed redeemable tickets After merging with competitors showbiz pizza in the 80s, the brand achieved hegemony in its unique niche. But the rise of adult-oriented concepts like Dave and Buster's led to a decline in the 2000s. The chain then resurged in relevance in the 2010s due to another video game designer with

a religious background, Scott Cawthon, whose 2014 indie-mega hit Five Nights at Freddy's would spawn countless follow-up games, a Blumhouse-produced film franchise, and an obsessive Zoomer fan culture drawn in by its creepy-cute vibes and arcane, secretly Christian mythos. Yet instead of leaning in, the chain moved to abandon its foundational gimmick. Starting in 2019, it began removing animatronics from all but a handful of locations, replacing the costly-to-maintain but signature robotic characters with video screens. To quote Bushnell again,

I just want the future to happen faster. I can't imagine the future without robots. And with the long after effects of the COVID-19 pandemic leading to closed locations and cratering sales, perhaps neither can the pizza rat chain he founded. This week on Doughboys, we return to Chuck E. Cheese. ["Doughboyz Theme Song"] Come on!

So it's the Doughboyz! Double hot doughnut boys! ["Doughboyz Theme Song"] Welcome to Doughboyz, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Slim Jim Pickens, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. This is some sort of joke about the drugs I'm taking? It's a reference to Slim Jim and a reference to Slim Pickens, the actor. Oh, I thought you were like, okay, I thought it was a Slim.

It's a little too soon for any slim jokes, I felt like. No, I think it's true if we were talking about Slim Jim's the snack. I get it now, I got it. I got it, that I eat the Slim Jim. Step into a Slim Jim. Pickens. That's good.

Oh yeah, yahoo! Cause he also falls down on the bomb. Oh right, we were just talking about Kubrick. Mitch, this is why I picked this. It's love week, I usually, and happy love week by the way. Oh right. We were just talking about Kubrick. Mitch, this is why I picked this. It's love week. I usually, and happy love week by the way. Oh, happy love week. Wow, we're really on,

look, you love children in today's episode. Jesus Christ. I'm saying you love kids. I do love children. Yes. And today, that's how we're gonna ham fist. Whoa. That's how it's gonna work. There's nothing to ham fist.

It's just a matter of Love Week is just a celebration of each other, of the show. Susser would disagree with this. Of our guest. We have a guest we love. We love our staff. We love our listeners. And that's what this is all about. You love children.

Okay. I usually pick a toast spoon man for Love Week, but I pick this roast because it's again very wholesome and the email is really nice and ties in with our guest. Thought of this roast while watching 1941 in preparation for your blank check appearance. I've been a fan for a long time and wanted to send a roast because I think you two are really funny. How nice is that?

I hope you keep a podcast after you stop eating so much junk food. Love you big time. Eddie Spaghetti, roastedbirdfuck.com. Eddie Spaghetti, guess what? We're going to keep eating junk food even after the podcast. It doesn't matter, right? You're not going to give up junk food. I can't imagine just giving up. I love eating shitty food so much. It's a true passion of mine. I've been eating much healthier and I've been doing well. You see my air fried meals. I'm showing you my air fried meals. That's right.

But I'll get a little mini Jersey Mike sub. That's all I'll do now for lunch. Fun. But I still get a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. I don't give a... Come on. I can't have a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos with lunch. You can have a treat with lunch. Come on.

What the fuck? It's fine. No one's telling you you can't, bitch. Ma. My mom watches the show and yells at me. You can have a treat with lunch, it's fine. Come on, what the fuck? No one's telling you you can't, bitch. Ma! My mom watches the show and yells at me. I hope my mom never watches the show. Where do you stand on spaghetti?

Eddie Spaghetti writing it. Eddie Spaghetti was very kind. I liked Eddie Spaghetti. Spaghetti, I was just talking about this the other night, speaking of children, such like a little, because I was talking about, I was talking to one of the friends of the pub. I was talking about Tussusar.

We can say this. Okay, yeah. Yeah, we can say it. And I was like- No, you can't mention one of the friends of the pub. I was talking about Tzusser, we can say this. Okay, yeah, yeah, we can say it. And I was like- No, you can't mention him on the mic, I guess. He was like talking about like, he was here by the way to eat food. That's right, we'll get into it. He showed up to eat bad food

and had us order more food that we didn't want. Well, we'll get into it. But I was just talking to him, I was like, he's like, I gotta go home and make dinner. I was like, I was, I was like, he's like, I gotta go home and make, you know, make dinner. I was like, how is that? It seems like a pain in the ass as a man who just makes dinner for himself and mostly gets takeout, which is not a good thing, but I do do

that. You're referring to yourself as Susser has a family, obviously he's making dinner, not just for him, but for everybody. And I was like, and I was like, what are you just doing? I was like, let me guess pasta for the kids. And he's like, yes, kids love pasta.

And I can't remember the last time I made pasta at home, I never make pasta at home. But I do like a good, I like, that used to be a thing I ate more than, spaghetti, spaghetti and red sauce was like when I would be in high school and I missed dinner, or they were like, we're eating something you don't like or something, or something I didn't like,

I would do spaghetti and marinara sauce. It's been a long time since I lived alone and cooked for one, but I will say that pasta is great because the thing you always run into when you're cooking for one is like, well, shit, it's hard to make up exactly one portion. You know what I mean? So it's like, I got pasta, well, that'll keep.

I got leftovers all week, you know? Yeah, that's true. It's like making a soup or a stew. Are you an al dente man, or are you like a little bit? I like an al dente. Okay. I don't mind if, you know. Yeah, that's true. It's like making a soup or a stew. Are you an al dente man or you like a little bit of? I like an al dente. Okay. I don't mind if it goes a little soft, but al dente is what I'm aiming for.

Yeah. I wish that was true of everyone. I wish everyone didn't mind if it went a little soft. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ma. Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha. No, no, no. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. No, no, no. Ha, no, no. No, no, no. You got any Valentine's Day plans this year? No, but I thought of a parody song right before the show started. What is it? Is it Valentine's Day related? No.

Okay. Well, I sang one right before the show started that you heard. That's true. But I also had a, broke into Joe's apartment. This is where the roaches live. Oh God.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm true. But I also had a, broke into Joe's apartment. This is where the roaches live. Oh God. So the reference is the MTV film, Joe's Apartment from the nineties about a man who lives in a roach infested apartment where they like talk to him, right? I never actually saw it, but I know the premise is.

But what is it a parody of? The Old Apartment? Broke into the old apartment. I don't know if I know the old apartment. This is where we used to live. Does anyone know the song? Oh my God, what the fuck? Whose song is it?

Bare Naked Ladies. Oh boy, I just have to know here. Why did you change the locks? You don't know this? No one knows this? I know that we can't use this on the show, but I have to play some of the song for you. Amelia gave me a ride to the studio

and she played some Chapel Roam for me. So I'm getting, I got familiar with some of her catalog. You did not know a lot of pop culture. I thought that you would know something from the nineties. No, I did a lot of that too. I was just like listening to other stuff. Yeesh, yikes. Rocky start to the up for old Mitch.

We're doing great. We're doing all right. My other parody song right before we started, I forgot what it was. I think I wrote it down. Oh, Conover. I wanna be Conover. I wanna have higher hair and smarter thoughts like Conover.

It's pretty good. You already did a hot dog. I did a Frankfurter parody, but I like Conover. Yeah, thank you. He's not here today. We can sing it. He usually is. He's been a year by the time we finish up.

So if you want to sing him for him, you can. Maybe I'll sing it to him. Maybe I'll sing it to him. How could he be upset with that song? I bet you didn't know that, only I do because I'm Conover. Ver. Actually, actually. You're going to I'm Conover. Ver. Actually, actually. You gotta get on Conover.

I don't like you getting more laughs. For my song. It's a good song. It's like Amelia attributed a joke to you earlier in the break room, and I got very mad at her. That was not my joke. That was your joke. That was my joke. And a joke I don't even feel comfortable repeating. ALL LAUGHING So...

Can we remark on something? So I'm wearing my Kirkland signature crew neck. I wore that in honor of our guest. And Emma brought a hoodie for Gemma. Gemma is usually nude. But Gemma is wearing clothes today. And Gemma is wearing a Kirkland signature hoodie. How cute is that?

Gemma? What did I say? You said Gemma over and over. People do this all the time. They combine our names. Gemmy, I apologize. Gemmy. Gemmy.

Gemmy is generally nude. Gemmy is generally nude. She's even wearing a collar. Generally, and genuinely. Yeah, genuinely. Earnestly nude. Earnestly nude. Earnestly nude.

Yes. Also, if I start conflating Gemma, if I start saying Gemma, conflating Emma and Jemmy, not even Amelia, look, if I start combining the names of all the females involved in the show. Caused Jamelia. Jamelia Donahue? Just. I'm just saying put involved in the show. Cos Jamelia. Jamelia Donahue?

Just... I'm just saying put me in a home. It's just like, I just need to be institutionalized at a certain point. I just put him on Spoon now, so... Does the Tiki Theater count as a home? We'll put you in there. Wags, you're doing great. We're both doing great. It's a really cute hoodie.

What the hell? To Spoon Nation. Welcome to Doughboys. Welcome to Doughboys. Happy Love Week. Happy Love Week. We love, hey, we love it. We love Love Week.

We love, hey, we love LA. Nice rainy. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Look, we were gonna, Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Luca Doncic traded to the Los Angeles Lakers. This is a 10 days old at this point. This happened over the past week and we were going to record an emergency pod for the episode that came out last week with our buddy Carmen.

And then we decided that by the time we were going to do it, it would feel like a little bit too late because it would come out after the trade deadline. But crazy news, wild. I'm so glad you saved this convo for me because I have a lot to say about it. Why do these trades always work out in this way for the Los Angeles Lakers? I don't know.

It's annoying, but also does it mean that maybe there'll be a Celtics Lakers final, so it's probably good that the league is rigged? Love to see that. It's probably a good thing for the Celtics that the league is rigged. Love to see that. It's probably a good thing for the Celtics that the league is rigged, because now they'll play the Lakers, it seems like, possibly.

I think it's a good thing. Here's what I say, rigged for my pleasure. The Lakers. Ugh! Ugh! You just shook hands with him, I guess. Maybe I can tell him a joke that I was afraid of telling him. Jesus.

I don't like the trade, of course. Like you guys benefit a lot from it. It's impossible to fully put into context of someone who doesn't follow a basketball specifically, but it is, I mean, like here, I guess I would say it would be like the Empire trading Darth Maul to the Rebel Alliance for C-3PO, you know what I mean? It's like, C-3PO is good, but Darth Maul is like really good.

Wait, you guys are the Rebel Alliance? I think so in this analogy. This is insane. All right, what would you say? You guys are the fucking Empire. Okay, fine, so we're the Empire. So we're getting- Yeah, you get Chewbacca. We're Empire. So we're getting... You get Chewbacca. We're getting, yeah, we're getting Chewbacca in exchange.

Chewbacca? Yeah, Chewbacca's like Luka Dantzik. How is that bad? I would say maybe Luke Skywalker. Okay, we're getting Luke Skywalker, Luka Skywalker in exchange. All right, that fucking works. You're lucky. Casey, you're lucky, dude. Luka and Luke work really well.

The Empire gets Luka Skywalker Luca and Luke worked really well. The Empire gets Luca Skywalker, and in exchange... Works really good. In exchange, we are sending to the Rebel Alliance, not even General Grievous. Well, I guess General Grievous is pretty good. Yeah. Because AD is good, but he's not in the elite company. The problem is that there are the good evil connotations

of the two parties in the Star Wars universe. Like, I was trying to come up with an analog to ask if it's like this. And what my mind jumped to before you started touching on the Star Wars world, is it like Marvel letting James Gunn get away to DC? Sure, yeah, I think that's pretty good. Right, like this is one of our best guys. I don't know if this works for me now.

Well, this is the problem. This is why I was tentative to even throw this out. If Marvel let DC get James Gunn, and DC was like, we'll give you our best PA in exchange, this guy's so good on set. But 80 is also good. 80 is very good.

It's kind of like, okay, hey, it's kind of like Marvel and DC, we're engineering a trade between our two universes. DC is sending over Superman. And Marvel is sending over... Hawkeye? Hawkeye, yeah. Okay, I get it now.

Yeah. Who's still good. Who's still good. But. But he's no Superman. I think a now. Yeah. Who's still good. Who's still good. But, but, he's no Superman. I think a lot of casual fans and even knowledgeable fans would be like, these two things do not seem like one.

You're like Superman cap is a straight trade. Yes, but they are maybe betting that Superman is going to, I mean, they're betting that Superman's gonna decline. Got it. That's their internal thinking. Which is also what Marvel's been on this summer, I think. That's true. Yeah.

How do the Mavericks benefit from it versus the Lakers? And it just is overwhelmingly in the Lakers' favor. I think most people would rule it a pretty unbalanced trade. I was shocked by it. I thought it was fake. But was the presumed logic that they... And I like Anthony Davis. Anthony Davis won a championship for the Lakers. That they think the guy they gave up is his best years are behind him.

This is the beginning of the decline. So the comparable players are guys like Joel Embiid, Zion Williamson, yeah, Luka Doncic has more success than either of them, but they're both like, hey, these guys have health issues that could shorten their careers. And Luka Doncic was due an extension

of something like $3 forty five million dollars this summer This is the conspiracy part that I buy Mitch which is that the owners are to some of the true goblins In sports the Adelson family who are huge Trump owners Yes, just to just say you know and they made all their money in casinos And I think there's a chance they had sticker shock at this huge 350 million dollar contract They're gonna have to pay out for the superstar and they're like get the fuck out of here We don't want to pay that. But how does LA keep, whatever.

It's fine. It is what it is. The league is rigged, we know. I'm fine. Rigged for his pleasure. Hey, hey, hey. Oh man. That's disgusting.

Ah. Neil Campbell said a funny thing to me. He said, it would be a good time to open a restaurant in LA because Luca's coming. He's a big fat guy who's had some struggles with his weight. What's that? Invite him on the pod. We should, hey, I would love to have him on. Three inch hair flip, we love it.

Four inch hair flip, we love it. Five inch, we love it, we love it. Four inch hair flip, we love it. Five inch, we love it, we love it. We love Conover. Conover. That's a good, I think that worked for the chorus. What do you think? Yeah, I think it was really good. Man, you guys really didn't know Joe's apartment.

You didn't really know Old Apartment. I cut you off. You're gonna play your drop. All right, we gotta play drop. There's also some news. I can't believe how long we're going up top. It's 15 minutes. And we have a guest who famously goes very low.

He's gabbing with us. He's gabbing with us. I haven't been introduced yet, but I'm gabbing. We have news with the trade tariffs. We're banning all Canadians from coming on the show. Yeah, it's hard to say during Love Week, but Canadians are not welcome on Doughboys, at least for the next 30 days.

I think we got Toronto in on Doughboy. Yeah, we got that in last administration, but things have changed. All these to Carson and Taylor, my friends. Sorry, you're lovely, but you can't come back on the show. The knife, there's plenty of people who now ban from the show. Ackroyd.

Ackroyd. I will say- show. Yeah. Ackroyd. Ackroyd. Lisa Gilroy, Ackroyd. There are behind the scenes talks going on right now between Evan Susser and Norm Sousa. So there's a Susser-Sousa accord that could come together. We're going to just keep an eye on it. Zooks had a great idea. He says we should charge a 35% tax on Patreon episodes an eye on it. Zooks had a great idea. He says we should charge 35% tax on Patreon episodes

with Canadians in it. So if you want to listen to a Canadian episode, there's a 35% tax on there now. Fair. But I just want to let the world know. We're sorry, but hey, USA all the way. Am I wrong? No, you're right.

Anyways, hit him with a drop Emma. Here you go. The Doughboys said a lot of wows. They had to count them all. Now they know how many wows it takes to build a Taco Bell. 500 wows. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. It's to fill the Taco Bell 500 Wounds Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. They didn't tell me to do that part, but I couldn't help it. It's a... That wasn't a wow at the end, was it?

Or was it another wow? That was a wow. That was another wow at the end? Wow. I shouldn't have sang over it. No, it was good. 500 WoWs Drop. That's the title. Wow. Hey DK had a 500 wows idea and now I'm subjecting y'all to it. If there's only room for one 500 wow my vote is for the one Lee 10 tickles added in the

dose cord but if the pod can handle another breezy 45 second multi wow, here it is. Lyrics the dough boy said a lot of wows. They had to count them all. Now they know how many wows it takes to fill the Taco Bell. 500 wows and then they did all the wows. That's good. That was good. Thank you.

I liked it. Thank you to Ben. Welcome to Struck. Thank you, Ben. That was good. Nice work, Ben. I think 500 wows, I think we've got, we've kind of maybe exhausted that premise. I don't hear 500 meows. You're pretty cute. Do you think that we did,

do you think Irma did 500 over the course? I think she probably did a lot. You probably could pull enough Irma meows over the course of our catalog. I mean, you could repeat them. Yeah. Wow. All those meows in the moment of meow and stuff?

That's true. That's true. I forgot about moment of meow. Drops at birdfuck.com. Our guest today, very happy to have him back, from Blank Check and the George Lucas talk show, his new movie, Turn Me On, is now on VOD. The King of Cranch, The Man of Steel Book, Griffin Newman.

Man of Steel Book, I forgot we added that. That's right. Thank you very much. It's a pretty good title. It's a pretty, it means a lot to me. We were talking Steel Books just before we started recording. Now there's a Tommy Boy steel book on the way. Right, so they announced a standard 4K of Tommy Boy,

which was exciting. You want, we were discussing it beforehand, and you got a big kick out of me asking Griffin if there was gonna be a Holy Shnikes edition to the steel book, which there was a Holy Shnikes edition to the DVD, which I bought. Can I go through this quickly? A thousand percent, we would love to hear it.

So like Paramount, I feel like in the early days of DVDs was notorious for bare bones releases, no special features. And then maybe about eight years in, they went double dip crazy. And especially on their comedies, because Paramount has a lot of the like, Wayne's World, Airplane, Naked Gun, Tommy Boy, like the sort of infinitely rewatchable, Plains Trains, a lot of the John Hughes catalog.

They reissued almost all of them with like silly named additions and worst cover art. And then like a ton of special features. So there was like the Bueller Bueller Bueller edition, the Those Aren't Pillows edition, the Holy Shnikes edition, the Don't Call Me Shirley edition. And the Holy Shrinkies edition, the Don't Call Me Shirley edition, and the special features were all kind of janky.

I remember there being like a 20 minute featurette with Ben Stein talking about what his day was like filming Ferris Bueller, but he very quickly gets into like, well I had one scene, it took like an hour to film, but then I had a very lovely dinner with my wife. I snuck away and like- And they're like putting like cartoon,

like graphics around them to make it more exciting. Stuck away and wrote like a speech for Reagan or something. Yes. And then Blu-ray I feel like, when they re-released these movies for Blu-ray, they put the special features on from those editions, but they took off the silly names. Now they announced 4K edition,

which I think will have most of the Holy Schneidke content. Yes, yeah. On there as legacy material. But they announced standard 4K edition, which I think will have most of the Holy Shnikey content on there as legacy material, but they announced standard 4K. Now I love steel books. Some studios go, hey, standard steel book same time. Some put the standard out. You wait, you're like, I guess steel book isn't coming. You buy it.

Next day they announce, here's a steel book. So I always try to sit it out, but then they very quickly announce, no, here's a steel book. So I So I always try to sit it out, but then they very quickly enough, no, here's a steel book. So I pre-ordered the steel book, which was a Photoshopped piece of art of like great things come in bear style, spade, farley, and deer, I think.

Deer, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pre-order that, which is what you said you had pre-ordered or were planning for? I planned on pre-ordering, yes. Canceled my pre-order because they announced third release Walmart Steelbook exclusive. Wow. Original theatrical poster art,

which is always what I love in a steel book. Sure. Unmodified with included fold out poster that charts the road trip of all the stops. I said, you gotta go for that Mitch. Come on. How did Walmart end up having all these exclusives? Because for a while, for a time it was a purview of Best Buy.

Best Buy completely discontinued their physical media, right? And Walmart very smartly was like, we will jump in. Wow. So A, they bought a lot of the dead stock of old Best Buy releases. B, Best Buy releases that were limited, that people still like are fighting over and go for hundreds of dollars.

They're like, we'll recommission that. Run another print, we'll sell them in our stores. And now they have this whole display in Walmart that says like steelbook obsessed, media case and steal or whatever. And they're trying to like own that lane. Cause you don't think of like- You gotta walk out by the way.

Yeah, Amelia's leaving, that's fine. Amelia left. The, which is- We're trying to steal gear from Connolly. No. No. No. No. No. No. This, I mean, this is very up my alley, but Nick, go on, sorry.

Oh no, I was just going to, like, I feel like Walmart generally does not appeal to like the, maybe it could be wrong here, I'm talking about too generally, but it doesn't seem to appeal to like, like an avianthusiast sort of demographic. Like I don't think of them as having, you know what I mean? Like I think of them more as just kind of be like a catch-all retail shop. Like I don't think of them as having, you know what I mean?

Like I think of them more as just kind of be like a catch-all retail shop. This is what I think was smart about what they were doing. Best Buy had like basically the exclusive domain of the steel books and they would get all this business, whether or not it like moved the needle enough for them, it was like, look, there's a certain devoted audience in these active subreddits that are scanning

for any new release. And the second you drop one, they're gonna just fucking slam your site. You're basically guaranteed to sell these things out. And they were like, eh, it's not enough for us. This isn't the kind of margins we're looking for. And Walmart was like, we'll take any loyal committed audience.

If you're saying these shoppers will like follow us over to our web store, go check stores in person, because we're the only people who sell this, we'll take any exclusive thing. And maybe while they're in the building though, or on our site, they'll get an HDMI cable, or some petroleum jelly or something. Yeah, whatever you want.

Petroleum jelly? I don't know, I'm just thinking like it's just kind of. Gwai's got a night planned out. Me and that Tommy Boy Steel book. Hey, holy schnikes, that's right. Isn't it Bo Derek who's in it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Give me that extra large patrol Said I'm gonna jack off a lot I didn't say fuck the patrol. Yeah, no, I know I didn't say this earlier cuz you hadn't introduced me. Yeah, no, I know. Okay, all right.

I didn't say this earlier because you hadn't introduced me and I thought I should hold off from speaking until of course I needed to be brought into the Lakers trade conversation. Yes. We couldn't have, you stuttered on my detailed thoughts on that.

I think Superman for Hawkeye is like a pretty good, like I think we actually landed on something really useful. I was just gonna say about 15 minutes ago, you were talking about how hard it is to, as a single person, making dinner for one, figure out the right amount of pasta to make. To guess the right sort of amount for one portion. And what I was thinking is maybe the better strategy

I think he has an idea. Is to, is to, cause you always end up with more than you want. It's true, yeah. So if you're looking to eat one portion. Yeah, you want to maybe scale down a little bit. Maybe you want to try to eat one quarter portion. I thought you were being serious.

You pulled, you pulled, you pulled it off on me. Where I thought you were being serious and then I saw the glint in his eyes. Cause you knew where I was going. And he knew where you were going. And I thought that he was gonna go there. For audio listeners, Griffin is pointing at our Unkar Plutt figurine that is on the tableau.

I think if you attempt to make one quarter portion that much like Ray's quick bread, you'll look at it and go, this isn't enough, and then you'll find suddenly it rises to be just the right amount. Man, an Unkar Plutt pasta maker would be great. It just squirts out one quarter portion. I mean, Unkar Plutt food processor, you great. It squirts out one quarter portion. Yeah.

I mean, Unkar Plutt food processor, you put in your food and it just gives you one quarter portion of the food. The issue is you gotta make sure you're eating your own portion, because if you're eating Unkar's, he's gonna be like, that's mine! Yes!

There should be, Disney should do a Star Wars branded factor meal kit. Where they're like, we're trying to control your meal sizes. It's one quarter portion. I like that. It's sticky Mitch, you have to admit it's sticky. It's very sticky. We like sticky here.

We do like sticky. Casey, as a film freak, are you much of a steel book collector? I don't have any steel books. You don't have any? Do you have any physical, do you have physical blu-rays in general? Can I be a dumb person and ask what is any steel book and you have any Raise like in general be a dumb person and ask what is a steel book not dumb at all Oh the day at this millennial day

Home and I love them. I love physical media, but I don't know what I guess I just don't have never bought one of those I have a steel book in here. Yeah is what I we yeah, they never do steel books No, usually the plastic cases sometimes sometimes they'll do digipacks or weird cardboard fold-outs. Oh, is it literally just a steel case? Correct. Oh, cool. Yeah, then maybe I do have some plastic.

Right, so it's, because I've had certain friends who have been trying to get into physical media ask me, can you guide me, what's the difference in the formats? Steel book is not a format thing, it's just a packaging thing. But they're really nice. And you've gotten me into them to a large degree and I will say I will repeat an anecdote that we Shared on our blank check appearance where we talked about 1941 very fun episode people haven't checked that out

the I had ordered ninja scroll classic anime. I had a pre-order for ninja scroll and It got canceled like they rug pulled my my ninja scroll pre-order. I was like how many get this thing It's like out of print. Something that Best Buy used to do, it would cause a lot of ire. Maddening. And it's like out of print everywhere. I'm trying to find it.

On secondary markets, they're charging like 200% markups. And I go to you. You went to the dark web, didn't you? I went to the dark web. Oh my God. And yeah, I'm in my darkest hour. And I go to Griffin. I'm like, hey, can you help me out?

I'm trying to find this. And you immediately track down this site that I'd never heard of. Bull Moose. Bull Moose that I was like, I'm not even sure this doesn't, you know Bull Moose? Yeah, they have physical stores in New England. There's one in Portsmouth that I used to go with my dad.

They used to sell my dad's CDs in the Bull Moose in Portsmouth. Hell yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, very cool. They're super cool. The people in there are always super nice, very knowledgeable, huge nerds. I love it in there.

I'm looking at a site and I'm like, I've never heard of this. I don't know. I'm assuming it's reputable because it's from Griffin. It doesn't look janky, but it does look a little like 2005, the website. Exactly. A little frozen time. The store feels that way too when you're in it. But I ordered from them and it was a good price and it arrived in pristine condition

on time and I was like, this is amazing. And as I shared in our group chat in Alation, after I received it, all caps, I told you that, I told everyone that Griffin Newman has a 10-inch cock. That's right, I was on that text. Yeah, that's how you... I thought you guys went to the gym together or something. No, I sent him a website to buy a new rig. I recently, it ended up not working out, but I was going to call in the return favor.

Wow. Which was Barnes and Noble had a 50% off sale on all Aero video titles. Whoa. And they recently put out a new and glorious Bastards 4K that I really wanted to sold out everywhere. And the one place I could find it in stock for pickup in store was in Santa Monica. I would have gone.

And I was going to text you and be like, if I place this order, can you pick it up? And then I think it's sold out before I could pull the trigger. He would have loved to do it. You know, I've used the dark web. I will do this at some point. Okay, great.

I logged onto the dark web. I was looking for some stuff and I looked at them like, what's this, the Batarang, Batmobile, I was on the dark night web. Mm-hmm. Yeah. My issue with the dark net, but my issue with the dark web, Mitch, I'm on the dark web, I was like,

I can't see any of this shit. Yeah. Need a flashlight. You know, I was, I'll admit this, I don't know if this is intimidating, but I was going to some dark corners of the internet and I couldn't see, I couldn't make out the texts on the website cause they were covered in bandages and I had like a fedora pulled down very far in front of me.

I was on the dark man web. Yeah, that'll happen. Bandages everywhere. So I'm saying venom is the original dark web. Have you heard that? I have heard that bitch. Um, look, there's no steel books of your stranger things, man. the original dark web. Have you heard that? I have heard that Mitch. Look, there's no steel books of your stranger things, man. You don't got, I'm talking to the dais again,

I'm yelling at the dais. Your Marvels, actually there's probably Marvel steel books. Oh, Marvel totally steel books. Stranger Things, one of the few Netflix titles that they themselves put out on physical media, I think they stopped at a certain point, but their gimmick was they put it in

plastic boxes that looked like VHS cases. Okay. So what happened here in the episode is Mitch just kind of went on this unplanned tirade that we collectively decided was best kept behind the paywall. So if you want to hear Mitch's potentially career damaging rant, you can find that over at patreon.com slash doughboys. Enjoy the rest of the episode.

So Griffin, I realized this, and I'm not sure if you've made this connection. We're inadvertently in a bit of a pizza cul-de-sac with you. If we're looking back on all the chains we've covered. Wow. Tombstone Pizza for Tombstone Week. Costco, famed for its pizza, of course. That was part of a green grocer,

Mitch's grocery store, mom. That's correct. But the pizza was a focus. The pizza was a focus. Italy. Yeah. Sbarro. And now this week's chain, your fifth main feed appearance.

The one exception was a live show, which I guess this makes it your sixth main feed appearance. Wow. Live show Nathan's Famous, which is a hot dog chain, but of course hot dogs in New York City also famous for its pizza. Yeah. It's kind of a pizza episode.

It does. It's the guy, you're a New Yorker, you're a true New Yorker. I'm a New Yorker, I'm a New Yorker. I also like- Slices. I feel like I've talked about this- Yeah, slices. Slices.

I know shit that only New Yorkers would know, like slices. This guy talks the talk. Hey, one slice please. No, pizza is my favorite food. Wow. Mitch, too. Yeah, I feel like I have expanded my palette and I expand it every year and I work really hard

to kind of like open myself up to trying more things. But for the first 15 years of my life, I would say I basically only ate five foods and pizza and hot dogs were two of them. And they're kind of just like, I go back to them as like a real base source of comfort. I mean, I love it. Yeah.

Hot dogs also fantastic. Hey, speaking of slices, like you said, you both were in the Kirkland signature. That's right. And I had my Kirkland signature sneakers on. We complained about these not being branded enough. Yeah. I wish the logos were more visible.

It is right on the sole of your shoe. It's right on the sole, but it's, and then it's here on the tongue, but it's, I wish it was in white, because I want people to know. Right. But these cost like $30? They look comfy.

Yeah. $30, it's a pricey. $30! But in a good way, where you're like, I can't believe it, $30! $30! Yeah. That was a good second read of that. What was, what cost $30?

It was like some T-shirt. No, it was the meal at Moobys. It was at Moobys. Oh shit, yeah. Oh, it was the meal at Moobys. It was the, it was the cock-knocker chicken sandwich, I believe. From Moobys. Oh, shit, yeah. It was at Moobys. It was the Cock Knocker chicken sandwich, I believe. With boobies. I think so. That was the original outrage $30.

I believe so. Cock Knocker. Yeah. Let me look up what the name of it was. Cock Knocker sounds, Cock Knocker is the Mark Hamill character in J.N.Sol and Bob Strike Back. Right, right. Is it which character?

Mark Hamill plays him. He's Blunt Man and Chronic's super villain, Cock Knock. That, do you guys know, you guys know Chronic, what is the word of the name? Bluntman and Chronic. Bluntman and Chronic? No. No. Do you know Chris Farley? Yes. You know Chris Farley.

Do you know, have you seen Tommy Boy? Yes. All right, okay, that's good. Well, I was trying to think of how, I mean, just the term Holy Schneikes is so funny. Yes. This Holy Schneikes edition is great. Yeah. But I'm like, that's such a, I mean, just the term, Holy Schneikes is so funny. Holy Schneikes edition is great. But I'm like, that's such a, I think Farley came up with Holy Schneikes, right?

Has to have, yeah. Which is such a funny phrase. And I love that guy so much. And also I was just thinking, I was like, as time goes on, he becomes, you know, you forget about this guy who's been gone now for God, Jesus, 30 years. Yeah, he died 97 or 98.

Yeah, almost 30 years later. But I'm just like, I don't know where he, but we were, cause I was, and the reason I bring this up is we were talking about Macaulay Culkin. And we were trying to think of how famous Macaulay Culkin was because people, cause he appeared on Raw. He was on Raw. Huge pop on Raw. He got a huge pop on Raw.

And then someone was like, oh, I don't think that he's like, do young people know him? Like every young person watches Home Alone. Yeah. Who doesn't know Macaulay? He was unquestionably one of the 10 biggest movie stars in the world. In the world.

For like three years. Yes, and that's why I was saying he's like. And quickly became one of the highest paid as well. I'm saying he's like right below Santa still probably, right? Wouldn't you say as far as- Right below Santa. Santa is the most famous person in the world. Okay.

This is interesting. Jesus, Santa, first. Is Santa the most- Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ? Yeah, are you including religious figures? I think Santa's more famous than Jesus. To a little kid, have you talked to little kids? Yeah, I know Santa, do you know Jesus?

But in order to celebrate Christmas, you have to be Christian, so you must know Jesus. That's true, and there are Jewish, and we were pretty, yeah. You just said that's true? Christmas is a Christian holiday? Yeah, but my family was big on Santa. There's a secular, very secular Christmas, that's fair.

I was just going to say, if we're going to play that game, there are more Muslims in the world. So I would think how famous is... I think the Muslim population is bigger than the Christian population now, in absolute terms. Sure, but they know Santa. Okay, can we make him Mount Famous more? I think Santa and Jesus are on there. Sure. I'm going to put forth SpongeBob. Ha ha ha!

SpongeBob? I'm like, who's the most famous cartoon character where visually distinctive, you feel like you could get off a plane anywhere in the world, and there's a good chance a kid would know? I feel like if you're going to see like, yeah, like a bootleg in any country, there will be a bootleg SpongeBob.

Yes. And that also brings me to Sonic the Hedgehog. I kind of feel like Sonic the Hedgehog is really- I think we'll call it more than Mario. Man, I'd probably do Mario over Sonic. IMDB has a list of the top 10 most famous people in the world. Is Santa on there?

No. Okay. Well, now this list might be too human. Are any religious figures on there? What would you just say? No. Walt Disney's on there, so- Walt Disney is number one. Well, for Amelia, Walt Disney is real. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I think Macaulay Culkin's pretty damn famous. I think Santa is the most famous. My friend Alex and I talk about this a lot,

how like in the early 90s when we were children, we feel like there were 10 famous people. There were 10 people who were arguably famous and we'll sometimes like text each other and be like, you know who's another one of the 10. But we'd like talk about this group of like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Macaulay Culkin, and part of it for us is like people

who would have appeared on the Kids' Choice Awards and the Oscars in the same year. Arnold actually maybe does beat Mac. I think he beats Mac Culkin. Michael Jackson's one of the 10. Michael Jackson probably still. Michael Jackson's number two on this list. Michael Jackson still probably is,

who, is Tom Cruise number one? No, Walt Disney's number one. Oh, Disney is number one. Whose Disney is who's list is this? Who made this? IMDB's list is actually IMDB. That's not a fan creation Oh, no, it is a fan creation I feel like the if we're talking in absolute terms again, just you were we're we're viewing it through our own prism We're thinking of like a very, you know, Western centric sort of thing

I think there's probably some Indian or Chinese celebrity who we're not familiar with or political figure who is an absolute tombs more famous than a lot of people we consider extremely famous. This is Americanized list. This is a Westernized list. Michael Jordan being at 10, I would say inarguably if we're talking the American. We get that look, we're not trying to be problematic.

It's from my dumb white guy perspective. I wasn't even saying problematic. I was just saying like, what list are we making? Are we making the Mitch list? That's its own thing. Let's put Gerard de Pardue in the ten He's in the ten I'd like to have him in there who made that list. I think Gerard de Pardue by the way is a very funny celebrity It was a fan list. Tommy Disney or some shit trying to push fucking Walt up the chain Jemmy's probably pretty famous

Jemmy probably pretty famous Jamelia Donahue I I can't be this fucking old. I can't begin people's names Casey do you own dune on physical media not to go backwards and further away from talking about our chain? Great question, Griff. I do not yet because I don't feel like they've released a version that I would like to own. But I do own it digitally. Let's stay in conversation about this. Okay, great.

Well... I'm gonna get you a steelbook. At some point, I need you to buy a steel. Yeah. I wanna see your ass in a steel book. I'm gonna get you in a car dealership. You'd look so good with a steel book in your hands. I'd love to see what you could do with that bad boy. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha.

So much spice in this. Yes. Can we agree that Santa is just one of the most famous people in the world? Yeah, I agree. He's one of the more famous people in the world. I think Santa is maybe the most famous. This Santa, he's got a whole month, first of all.

The month of December is his. And then there's different iterations of Santa in every culture. But I'm really now sort of circling back to Mario. Mario's very famous. I think Mario's very famous. Mario's really famous. Is Mario more famous than Arnold?

Yeah, today? Yeah, no question. 100%. Oh, okay, wow, okay, all right, all right. Mario's very famous. Mario's very famous. Mario's really famous. Is Mario more famous than Arnold? Yeah. Today? Yeah, 100%. Oh, okay, wow, all right, all right. Because I also, you know, like, we have friends with kids. And they'll be like, who is that? Or they'll be like, it's funny that that old man

has muscles or something. You know what I mean? Like, they won't, like, they won't, they don't understand the cultural cache of Arnold Schwarzenegger of the 80s and 90s. No, Mickey Mouse probably at one point was, but now is less, so. I think Mickey has maybe declined a little,

but there's a lot of awareness of Mickey. Do you think Mario more famous than Mickey? I think Mario is currently more famous than Mickey. I think so, yeah, I think so. I would put that. Biggest IP in the world, the most successful IP in the world is Pokemon. That's like, in terms of dollars.

So Pikachu more famous than. I'm not saying Pikachu is more famous than Mario, but I'm just saying like that kind of, that's where the world, that's where, you know, the world, that's where the global culture is. I think Pokemon, as much as Pikachu, is the face of the franchise. I think there's more spread power

across the entire tapestry, especially since there's so many characters. I think Mario is a singular figure. Is maybe the most recognizable, like fictional character, pop iconography in the world Yeah, I think that's fair. That would be my guess the Sonic beat Arnold yes, yeah today. Yes, the Sun and you don't you don't buy that you don't think Sonic beats Mario Mario No, I think Mario. I think Mario's ahead of time so it here's the first thing compete at the Olympic Games

Here's the big question yeah Does Mario beat Santa? Yeah, I think so. You think Mario beats Santa? I think so. I think Santa's the most famous person in the world. This is interesting. I haven't heard this from you.

Expand on that. Santa's so famous. Yeah. Some of us were disagreeing. Santa, Mario, Mac. Those are my, that's my ranking. You're, Thursday's the current Macaulay Culkin. Macaulay Culkin is, I think, as a human being,

is one of the most famous people in the world. You should call Sussers kids and ask if they know who Macaulay Culkin is. They do, that was a part of the test. Oh, okay. That was, I was talking about this with Suss too, because, and it was like, yeah, kids watch Home Alone. All the young people watch Home Alone.

They all watch Home Alone. They know Macaulay Culkin. I just think that he is one of the more famous people still in the world. Except for him, he stuck around for a long time. Forbes has discontinued this, but for many years, they published the Celebrity 100 and the top 10 most powerful celebrities was part of it.

1999, if we go back to then, Michael Jordan won, Oprah Winfrey too, Leonardo DiCaprio three, Jerry Seinfeld four, Steven Spielberg five. It's a big five. Michael Jordan has been taken over by Oprah at this point, I would say. I think so. And in 2010, which is 20, not 20 years later,

but over a decade later, Oprah is number one. And then in 2020, which I guess was the last time they published it, number one, Kylie Jenner. Number two, Kanye. Number three, Roger Federer. Number four, Cristiano Ronaldo. This is where the things, and number five, Lionel Messi. So it's like, this is the kind of thing

that we tend to list. Even back then, that was, oh sorry. Well no, but I think in a global, it's just a global perspective. We're thinking in global terms, it was just like, yeah, Messi is so, and I'm not even saying his name correctly, I don't think, because I think it's just a global perspective. We're thinking in global terms, it was just like, yeah, Messier is so, and I'm not even saying his name correctly, I don't think, because I don't follow soccer,

but soccer is so fucking huge. Messier, yeah. Yeah. Messy? No, Messier? Messy? Messy. Messier is the hockey player. Yeah, yeah. Oh, oops. Yeah. I think Michael Jackson still-

When we have lunch together, you get a little messy, but I get a little Messier. Dear God. When we have lunch together, you get a little messy, but I get a little messy, yay. Yeah. Yeah. Dear God. All right, let's talk about the restaurant, fine. Yeah. There was more, I guess we shouldn't discuss how famous-

Is Cupid more famous than Santa? Cupid is very famous, but no. No, what about- No, no. Okay, no. What about Zeus? No. No. Then Santa? What do you think Santa is? What is Zeus? No? then Santa What do you think Santa is what is this? Don't be incensed. What about Jack Skellington? No, I

Think he maybe makes the ten though. Yeah, you might make the ten Really famous That motherfuckers bony faces on every yeah, you see how many hoodies there are out there with Jack Skellington on? The image of a pokeball, perhaps more famous than Santa. Amelia, that's a good take. That's an object list. That's a good take. A pokeball, is a pokeball more famous than Santa? Yeah.

Shit, I hope Santa doesn't get trapped in the pokeball if it's out there, you know? Here's a question, is a pokeball more famous than a snake? Like you're like, what is this? And you point to a snake and a pokeball. Are people gonna be able to identify one more than the other? Just any snake.

Any snake. Oh, just a snake? Like if someone's like, what is that? They're pointing the snake, it's like, I know that pokeball. The idea of someone seeing a snake go, what is that? They're pointing the snake, it's like, I know that pokeball. The idea of someone seeing a snake go, what is that? Okay, here's my question. If you show someone a picture of a snake

and you go, what is that? And they say diamondback and they've misidentified the species, do you still accept the answer as snake? Yeah, I'd still give them credit for that. Because you're identifying a snake, you just maybe missnake. That feels like you're trying a level.

I'd almost say like okay then I do last So then we're basically saying any Snake any snake any poke just knowing it's a snake. I think snake wins okay I think snake is more famous than pokeball, but now it makes me question is snake more famous than Santa This is getting so abstract But see now we're talking about, this is getting so abstract. If you look at a snake. It's the ideal of any snake.

Any representation of any type of snake. I don't know if a snake is more famous than Santa. I think there's a chance, I think there's a chance someone could look at a snake and Santa and not really have an idea of what either is, but be better able to identify Santa's like, I think that's like the winter holidays man. Who the fuck is this guy?

And the snake they'd be like, I don't know, that's weird, is that like a green worm? Or is that like a, just some sort of reptile, is that like a lizard? Hold on a second. The winter holiday man? Well, they've seen him around the season but they don't know specifically who they are.

This is where the conversation is. Yeah. Dog is infinitely more the conversation is. Yeah. Dog is infinitely more famous than Santa or snake. Yeah, dog is more famous than Santa. Dog is more famous. Dog is more famous. You don't need to show anyone a picture of any dog photographed or drawn.

And be like, that's a dog. Who's gonna say I don't know him? Yeah, I trust that you'd say that's a dog if you saw a picture of a dog. Is dog more famous than any other animal? Like is dog more famous than horse? I think dog's the most famous animal. More than cat and horse.

Dog's more famous than cat, yeah, for sure. Whoa, relax there. Dog's more famous than kitty cat? Cat, pee, pee. Yeah, that's easy. Okay, fine, I'm gonna argue dog versus cat. Cat's a tight two, horse is a slightly more distant third. Let me throw something at you, bird.

No, dog. Is bird more famous than horse? Dog is more famous. Dog versus Santa is a good argument, but now here's- Here's my, here's the big question. Person. Okay. Here's my here's here's the big question yeah person Okay person versus Santa I considered this a couple minutes ago, and I didn't say it I stopped myself because I think genuinely dog is more famous than person Wow I think if you show a picture of a dog to a person

Yes, he would have a better chance of identifying it correctly. Then this is another person. Then if you showed a person to a dog? Yeah. I think so. I think so. I think Santa wins in a three-way competition between dog, person, and Santa.

I think Santa's the most famous of the three. So you don't think Santa's a person? Santa is a person, but he's a very specific person. Here's where you're starting to win me over. Yes. Now that we've gotten to the animal and object territory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think if you're trying to show someone

any visual representation of a person... Yeah. ...and approach it with confidence that they will be correctly identified, Santa is the person you want to pick. Right, because I'm trying to think of like, who has more like specifics that are immediately identifiable to everyone.

And my mind goes like Captain Hook, but it's not Captain Hook. Captain Hook is not more famous than Santa. But he has distinct qualities where you'd be like, okay, he's got an eye patch, he's got the hook hand, or whatever. Captain Hook isn't more famous than dog or snake or anything, it's way lower.

Captain Hook also isn't like more famous than Peter Pan Snake or anything. It's way lower. Okay, I know what you're saying. Also isn't more famous than Peter Pan. I was just throwing an example out there. I didn't think that he actually was. Santa, you could identify Santa even through multiple layers of abstraction. Right. Do you know what I'm saying?

Yes. Someone could probably identify Santa from silhouette without colors. I agree. You could do a hyper hyper pixelated fuzzy version of Santa where the color scheme was clear and people would be like, that's probably Santa. You know, it could be a drawing,

it could be a person in a Santa costume. Here's a question for everyone. Hold on a second, yeah. Where does Minion go? Because Minion in the past 20 years, I feel like has skyrocketed up the awareness. I wonder who the fuck that is. You're doing the silhouette test.

So this is a thing in animation where if you can see someone with just, from just their shadow basically, that actually kind of does look like Link. It does look a little bit like Link, but that is very much, it's very much. But like Homer Simpson passes the silhouette test with flying colors.

You see a silhouette of Homer, you know exactly who it is. Well, I mean, hold on a second. Santa versus Homer, we didn't even talk about. I think it's Santa. But this actually does bring me to, who's the most famous yellow character? Because you've got SpongeBob, you've got Minions, you've got Pikachu, you've got Homer.

There's a lot of big yellow titans out there. I mean, Minions is tough because Minions. Okay, Mitch is just showing up a silhouette of a person, of a human being. Is that more famous than Santa? That's the kind of thing. That looks like an anatomical drawing that was hanging at the doctor's office.

Like, that's like a thing you put on, like, the Voyager space probe in case aliens discovered it. Yeah. I also think some people would see that and guess alien. That's true. Right? Like, when you're making that generic a silhouette, it starts to look a little bizarre. If it was a silhouette of me or Suser or something,

people would be confused. They'd guess Santa. They would guess... Sorry, you led me right into that one. I mean, it's 100%. You know what? It's an honor to be confused with the most famous thing in the world. You were talking about, in a recent episode, but also I feel like multiple episodes, how

you feel like Santa has been taken away from big guys that now buff guys get to play Santa. And then even after... They announced this fucking Schwarzenegger Santa comic. Which Kyle Moody's in which we're very excited about but it is a buff Santa and then there was an ad right after I did that where there was another buff Santa in an ad. J.K. Simmons is Santa. It really does feel like big guys don't get to play Santa anymore. It's fucked up.

All right one last question. Yeah. I'm just now... This is maybe crazy. Okay. Santa versus like water? I'm thinking of like elements. Do you think like, what's the most recognizable thing in the world?

I take water in that one. I think people know water. I think you need water giver of life. I think people have to drink it every day. Trees. Trees, fire maybe. Yeah, yeah. I think fire is the most famous element.. Yeah. Trees. Trees, fire maybe. I think fire is the most famous element.

If we're saying what is the most famous thing on the planet, I'm sorry, too soon. Right, too soon, we don't like wind and fire. But that does kind of just prove its cultural stickiness. No, yeah, it's true. Unfortunately, right? I mean- Is fire the most famous element? I would go maybe water over fire, but it is, but our thing is how do you see water?

Are you saying like a water droplet, like a cartoon drop? Are you saying like a glass? Are you saying an ocean? A cartoon droplet though is pretty. The droplet's powerful. Yeah, we know what a droplet looks like. We know what it is.

I think it's earth. Cause I think we walk on earth. I think we like just see it. We're like immersed in it. And I know air is all around us, air is omnipresent, we need to breathe air, but I think people don't think about air. Yes, there's no visual component. You're saying Earth as in the element.

Because you're making me think something else. Is the planet Earth the most famous person in the world? Mother Nature. Like a cartoon image of the globe. I think everyone recognizes That's the pale blue dot upon which we live. I think you want to identify that right? I think some people well, I think there are there may be some people who live in the silhouette tests aunt is gonna win it Versus a circle. It will be a circle. He's kind of right. It does fail the silhouette. We're like, that's a pokeball

Which makes the case for pokeball. That's true. I think mostly people will identify the Earth. I think there maybe are some, you know, you have to have like some awareness of that the Earth is round. You know, I guess it's like. You're like one hour into this episode. Or if the Netflix conversation is cut out, 15 minutes.

Flat Earthers exists. So there are some people. but I think even flat earthers would be like well But I know that's supposed to be the right they wouldn't deny they'd say not my or not my earth I know that is trying to me. I mean identify. I would say if you show Many Americans a picture of the earth without the side with the United States on it They won't be able to identify that Casey. That a good point. Casey that's a great point. But here's my argument. Great sad great point. I think there is an abstracted, I think it doesn't have to be accurate in any way but like blue circle with green shapes within it. With green land masses. Right even if it doesn't look like

the fucking country lines at all. If that's supposed to be the earth I get what that's supposed to represent. Like a kid's version of drawing the earth without having like a proper sense of geography, I still think reads. Here's what I'd say to you. What do you like less, flat Earthers or thin Santars? I hate thin Santars more than I- Yeah, I think the thin Santa movement is more destructive. They're more dangerous, yeah. I would just take the Earth thing

and the next step I would make is, it's the thing on which we live, it's the thing in which society is built, it's the thing in which we stand, but it's a thing that we have to observe via aerial photography, via space probes that have taken photos of it. I think the thing we see every day with our own two eyes is the sun, and I think the sun is more famous than the earth. Wow, fuck.

I think even people who are like maybe don't have, you know, maybe they live in an isolated community and they don't have like any sort of like connection to the outside world. They're still like, I know what that is. That's the sun. It's got arguably the most famous element is a big part of it as well. Fire.

It probably would also pass the silhouette test cause it's like, you know. Yeah, it would have a little bit, yeah. Right. It's a great point. All right, Sun one. Santa two. Santa two.

All right. Dog three. Dog three. Koli two. All right. Dog three. Dog three. Koli Koken four. And then Mario five. Oh yeah, Mario then Mac. Mario then Mac. So we're folding fire into Sun.

Yeah. Yeah. And then Pokeball six. Pokeball six. Snake seven. Snake, yeah, Snake is in the top 10. Snake is high. Chuck E. Cheese was founded in 1977.

Oh, rats, mouse. By Nolan Bushnell. Is rat more famous than snake? Oof. I think it might be. I think it is. I think it is. You see rats more.

They live amongst humans. Is rat more famous than mouse? Mm, fuck. Mouse may be more. I think people think of them as the same thing, even though they're not. Yeah. I think rodents are just kind of like an umbrella.

Yeah, I think rodents. Which Chuck is. Chuck is a rodent. Chuck E. Cheese. We didn't even bring a bug. Oh my God. Bug is huge. Bug is huge.

Bug might be bigger than any. It's one thing. Bug might be bigger than any individual animal. If all bug is one. I see bugs all the time. All the time. Who doesn't see bugs? Yeah.

I see bugs all the time. Do you not see bugs all the time? I do see bugs all the time. They're everywhere. Do you see bugs right now? I don't see bugs right now. And I could go outside and see the sun. So is bugs bigger than sun?

But I bet if you look down, you'd catch a bug. Well, you probably would. Look, sun is more famous than, I think sun is more famous than but I think cuz I think there are there are there are Aired climates and there are very cold climates where they're not a lot of insects Okay, but you are gonna see the Sun. I have a genuine question. Yeah. Okay, go for it Is moon more famous than earth? I was thinking this I think moon is more famous than earth But moon is not more famous than Sun. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I think Sun is more fun I think Sun is more fun. I think it's more famous than earth, but moon is not more famous than sun. Okay, okay, okay. I think sun is more fun. I think sun is more fun.

I think it's more famous because people think about it. I gotta tell you something, moon changes. There's a lot about moon that's pretty fucking cool and famous. Moon would pass multiple silhouette tests. It's true, it's true. It's true, yeah. It's a great point. Mac tonight, the fucking voyage to the moon

with the rocket and the eye. No, that rocks. Made of cheese. Yeah, tonight, tonight. Yeah. It's got that element on its rocks. Made of cheese. Yeah, tonight, tonight. Yeah. It's got that element on its side, the sun has fire. I'm thinking of like, Raisin Bran, Two Scoops, Son. And I'm like, that feels about as famous as you can get.

The fucking sunglasses, so cool. He doesn't have them, that's a Mandela effect thing. Wait, really? Yes. Wow. It's like Berenstain Bears that we all remember him wearing sunglasses and he doesn't and he never has. This is also like Tony the Tiger's nose being blue.

Yes! Which I remember is black but no it's blue. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. It's fucking crazy. Wiggs, I want to tell you about something. Mmm, what's that?

About my sleep. Wow! I'm getting the best sleep of my life on my Helix Sleep Mattress. That's right. Wow. And how long have you had that Helix Mattress? Oh my god, it's been almost seven years now, but I have no seven year itch.

Wow. That's a joke that you didn't say that I took, I swear. I have no seven year itch, I love my Helix sleep mattress. I like to sleep on it, Wally and Irma like to sleep on it. When my mom comes to town, I say, Mother, I'll take the couch, you take the bed, because that's the nice boy that I am, and she loves it.

Anyone who's slept on that mattress loves the Helix Sleep Mattress. Yeah, I know the Helix Mattress has been an upgrade from your old thing you were sleeping on, but what were the specific sleep issues that your Helix Mattress helped address? Well, wise, I was sleeping on a cement block before. Oh, no. This thing's like a cloud.

Wow. It's nice and comfy. I feel comfortable, but it's not too soft where I feel like I'm sinking into the bed. It's the perfect level for me. I know you, and I know you've been getting restful sleep lately, and I feel like I'm sinking into the bed. It's the perfect level for me. I know you, and I know you've been getting restful sleep lately and I know I've seen your sleep scores. You're, you're, you're getting a good night's sleep. You know what?

Why is it was easy to do because I got matched up with the perfect mattress with the Helix sleep quiz. That's right. You just take the Helix sleep quiz. They'll match you up with the perfect mattress. For me, it was the moonlight Lux mattress. I love it. Like I said, it's like being on a cloud, a supportive cloud. Hey, that's one quiz. Ya aced. Get 27% off site-wide plus two free Dream Pillows

with any mattress purchase. Plus get a free bedding bundle, two Dream Pillows, sheet set, and mattress protector with any Lux or Elite mattress order. Wow. Go to HelixSleep.com slash Doughboys. That's Helixsleep.com slash doughboys. That's helixsleep.com slash doughboys. Do it and sleep tight, our little listeners. Nighty night. Nighty night. Mitch, you say you'll learn a new language every year, but few of us actually commit to it.

Well, Babble makes it easy for you to learn one in less time than you think. Play the sound effect. We like that. This year's Speak like a whole new you with Babbel, the language learning app that gets you talking. Learning a new language is the pathway to discovering new cultures, so why not embark on learning something new? Babbel's quick 10-minute lessons handcrafted by over 200 language experts get you to begin speaking your new language

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This year get talking with Babbel. Let's get more of you talking in a new language. Babbel is gifting our listeners 60% off subscriptions at babbel.com slash doughboys. Adios, mio. Get up to 60% off at babbel.com slash doughboys. Spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dotcom slash doughboys. Babble.com slash doughboys. Rules and restrictions may apply. ["Doughboy's Theme Song"] Chuck E. Cheese was founded in 1977 by Nolan Bushnell, better known for founding Atari,

speaking of all, with all the video game talk we've had. Nolan Bushnell, a huge figure in video games, huge figure in, you know, in-person entertainments, was inspired by Disneyland's Country Bear Jamboree and the Enchanted Tiki Room. In fact, animatronics were at the core of the concept. That's the basis of Chuck E. Cheese's, I want this to be an animatronics attraction.

And I think, like, how do you bring animatronics to the masses? Like, it was kind of the domain of Disney. Right, and he figured out a way to scale it up and put it in shopping malls. It merged with Showbiz Pizza in 1985, the masses. Yes. Like it was kind of the domain of Disney. Right, and he figured out a way to scale it up and put it in shopping malls. It merged with Showbiz Pizza in 1985, which we had in Lakewood, California.

Actually knew more, I knew better than Chuck E. Cheese as a boy, and then it turned into a Chuck E. Cheese. The entire Showbiz brand merged with Chuck E. Cheese, and Chuck E. Cheese was, you know, all those stores became Chuck E. Cheese. I'm saying that in a clumsy way. It was acquired by, as all these chains have been, acquired by private equity fund Apollo Global Management in 2014.

It survived the pandemic partly through its ghost kitchen component, Pascuali's Pizza, which we will talk about based off of... Pasqually, right? Is it Pasqually? I think it's Pasqually. Pasqually? Pasqually's Pizza. And it has resurged in the zeitgeist partly due to Five Nights at Freddy's, but kind of shooting themselves in the foot here,

in May 2024, they announced plans to discontinue animatronics from all but a handful of legacy locations, including one in Northridge, California. The location we went to in Eagle Rock had a total of one animatronic. Disaster. It was really, really a bummer. Let's just get ahead of it.

We were there for an hour and a half, and he was turned on in the sense that he was like literally just doing this, like turning, and he'd like look and his eyes would shift and he'd blink. He did not do anything beyond that. Yes. There was a curtain up on him the whole time, video screens playing musical numbers of various stripes that we'll talk about. But Chuck was just sort of scanning, like he was a security guard.

He didn't talk, he didn't sing. Yeah, there was a point where he thought he was going to talk and then he didn't. And there was a certain point where there's a spotlight was on him. And I was like, okay, is he gonna do like a little speech or a little numbers? Is he gonna interact with the screens?

Didn't seem to happen. He was kind of moving when we first got to the table, right? It seemed like he was a featured thing on him when we first got there. Maybe you guys did not see it he was a featured thing on him when we first got there. Maybe you guys did not see it. But he never spoke. I caught a little bit of it. You know, he didn't speak.

Yeah, and I feel like it used to be a, the band performs every hour kind of thing. There was a whole fucking show. And it was like a whole thing. And it wasn't like once a day. It was like, it would happen on a regular rotation. It was ongoing and you wanted to be seated by the stage so you could see it happen.

And this is the thing, it's easy to say, hey, everything's getting worse, everything's getting shittier. I think this is the case where this actually has gotten a lot worse. I actually think it's one of the clearest distillations of that philosophy. Right. Right, that we're paying more for less. We were discussing it because we were like, hey, we're adults,

so does this just suck because we're older? But then I told you, I was like, I remember going to Bonkers as a kid, Bonkers Fun House or whatever. And it was just like a Chuck E. Cheese type place. And we looked at a video of it and it looked so much better than the Chuck E. Cheese we were in. And then I was like, I remember the Chuck E. Cheese

when I was growing up going to Chuck E. Cheese. I didn't go often, but I went once or twice. And I remember there being like little things where you could crawl under the stage. It was way more interactive. It was, and this just, this felt so flat. It felt like you were in a room in Eagle Rock filled with arcade machines.

In a dead mall. Yes. Yes, 100%. I mean, it is very easy to be like, well, obviously the place we went to when we were children in 1992 was great and this is bad now, right? I know. It's the nostalgia. Look. There's the nostalgia lens of it, but here's the thing that fights the nostalgia.

There was actual just hard math that when we used to go there as children, there was a band of five robots that would perform a full concert. And now you have one robot just kind of creeping on you. Yes. Doing nothing. Well, two if you can got Weiger. All right. The... Two robots creepin' on the children. Nick and Chuck E.

He was kind of behaving Weiger-esque, just kind of like scanning. Counting how many children were there. Looking. The Chuck E. cheese, like kind of his, in his status of, at the Eagle Rock location, he was kind of in a liminal state, like a space between life and death.

It was kind of like you would bring a doctor in there and there would be a court case to say, is this guy alive or should we pull the plug on him? Because he wasn't interacting with anybody, but his eyes were sort of finding things. Is there consciousness? Exactly, right? Is there any internality to that?

Lights were on, but no one was home. Exactly, and it's honestly distressing. It could go to the Supreme Court. If they brought that robot in front of the Supreme Court, it would be hard to settle. It was a very, first of all, let me say this. Yes. It was one of the most grim experiences

I've ever had doing the show. It was truly miserable. It was an absolute fucking nightmare. It was bad. This whole day, I've ever had doing the show. It was truly miserable. It was an absolute fucking nightmare. This whole day I pulled up into this old dying mall. So malls are dying on top of this anyways. Yeah, yeah. It's raining. It's raining, which is a good-

This is a particularly bad mall, I will say. It's a really bad mall, but there's some great Filipino food there, and this is where we went to Jollibee. So there is like, there's some stuff in this mall that is worthwhile, but the mall- Like a lot of dying malls, it's turned into kind of this place where some, some, uh, you know, kind of the working class has kind of occupied some of these spaces. Like there was a church there,

there's some independent restaurants, but it's mostly empty storefronts. Mostly a dead mall. There is a target, which I think probably helps keep it open. But like right next to it is like the husk of a Macy's that clearly used to take up 50%, 25% of the entire space and has been filled with nothing. So when you're like driving into it, it's just like giant empty unmarked, like cavernous space. It is such a dead quiet mall already. And then so it was raining, we were there,

it's gray and raining, it's 11.30 or whatever. It's just, everything about this is grim's gray and raining. It's 1130 or whatever. It's just, everything about this is grim. Shirley Manson is smiling ear to ear, but for us, we're like, it's not raining. Shirley Manson's having a blast. I mean, I guess just for the rain. She's only happy when it rains.

She's only happy when it rains. She's only happy when it rains. Is she happy about Chuck E. Cheese at all, or no? I'm not sure. I don't know, it's raining. I think she's paranoid too. She is paranoid. Oh, I think she's right. She is paranoid.

Well, she, all right, so sorry. Shirley Manson is happy. Yeah. This is very grim for me. I told you guys that I was walking in and there was a guy coming out from a gym because this is what the mall has become. There's like a gym there.

And I just felt so embarrassed. I nodded to him. And like, not that I thought he thinks I was going to the gym, but I was like, this guy doesn't know I'm about to go eat at Chuck E Cheese with a bunch of other adults. This is very yes This is but it felt pathetic right going in there, and then I opened the door, and this is the thing that we all Agreed on is that there was just a wall of stench It was one of the worst smelling rooms I've ever entered smells fucking awful

You mentioned it you mentioned the gym, and it smells like a gym. It smells like a gym It smells like children's gym. It smells like man sweat. It's so it's absolutely putrid in there I will say my memory of Chuck E Cheese is it smelling like diapers and there was some diaper smell but it was not like An explicit an outright shit note though. Yeah, I was not mostly shit. It was mostly just like like stench It's not like I would have welcomed the diaper smell, but it would have made sense to me. Yes. Because we were talking through it and we were like, did they just not clean here?

I guess kids are like- Did the gym vent directly into the Chuck E. Cheese? Could be part of it. You know what? That genuinely might be. That could be part of it. I was saying that I would like to wear a dirty diaper N95 to get around the smell in the Chuck E. Cheese, because I think I would rather just smell a dirty diaper.

It smelled so bad and I was like, I walked in and I was like, man, this is like overwhelming. I said that to you guys, I was the last one there. I showed up, I was like, I need a coffee if we're still waiting on Mitch. I did get there before him. Yes. You did. You make me feel on time.

How much later I get there than Griff? About 10 minutes. 10 minutes? But Griffin was still getting a coffee while you were- There's than Griff? About 10 minutes. 10 minutes? But Griffin was still getting a coffee while you were... There's no way it was 10 minutes. What do you, Jermon, what was it, Melee? It was about eight. It's like eight minutes. Gentleman's hand.

Oh, so you got there right when he got there. I got there right after you guys got there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was there. So I went to get coffee and then re-entering, I was like, it's even worse than I remember. And then during our meal, I went to the bathroom and I came out and I said this is the only time I've ever been to a place where the bathroom Smells better than the restaurant

And Emma you said the same thing and that when you were in the bathroom someone was actively changing a diaper And you just did what I did and you called Amelia Emma. I'm sorry. I wasn't gonna correct you You just did what I did and you called Amelia Emma. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wasn't gonna correct you. It's okay. Amelia. There were dirty diapers in the trash can and it still smelled better in there.

Fucking awful. Amelia, by the way, I gotta say. Jesus Christ. We appreciate it so much that you volunteered. You wanted to come. You were like, I want to come to Chuck E. Cheese. I know of all the restaurants you can go join for meals. That's the one you chose to join us for.

You're a freak. But also, thank you because you saved us from being three childless men at a Chuck E. Cheese, which is, I was already incredibly uncomfortable there, but just like having a woman at our party made us feel, I feel like, maybe less threatening. I don't know. Part of me felt like it was my duty

to help out in that way. I will say I have never been to a Chuck E. Cheese without a child before. I don't know. A part of me felt like it was my duty to help out in that way. I will say I have never been to a Chuck E. Cheese without a child before. Like in the times I've gone the last 10 years, it's been like with friends of mine who have kids or when I'm like babysitting or like little relatives or whatever.

I took my sister who's a bunch younger than me when she was growing up, whatever. I'd never been there as just an adult party. Yes. And I feel like it was floated at some point that maybe Susser was going to meet us and bring his daughter depending on when we went. And I got there and realized that was not the case. No, he was going to instead join us for Chuck E. Cheese pizza later without his daughter. Let's make this clear.

I was like, so was Susser coming solo? And you were like, no. And we ordered Chuck E. Cheese pizza later without his dog. Let's make this clear. I was like, so is Susser coming solo? And you were like, no. And then we ordered Chuck E. Cheese delivery here. He showed up to eat Chuck E. Cheese delivery and then left. And added meatball dunkers. And added meatball dunkers to the order. Which they didn't give us. They just gave us regular meatballs.

I think that is what the meatball dunker is. On the app. It shows them wrapped in a pastry thing. It's a different item. dunker is on the app. Yeah, those them wrapped in like a pastry Yeah, so Amelia like correctly ordered the right thing and it was like two separate items meatball or meatball Dippers or dunkers or whatever they're called and then we didn't get that and have them get smell terrible So we didn't have a fucking ass no matter what so it doesn't matter. Yeah, we look like creeps Amelia did help the case 100% Amelia was gonna get on the trampoline you were gonna jump on the trampoline until they were like eight inches too tall

We thought because it was 56 inches and you were like I'm five five and it was like that's You need to be four eight yes, yeah Yeah, you were like you were like almost a foot too tall for it Yeah, I yeah, you were you were like you were like almost a foot too tall for it It would have been fun. No ball pit They had this ninja run thing that looked like kind of just a McDonald's play place But now cost an additional ticket. Yeah to run through wasn't that big it wasn't that shitting It was just like a couple tunnels and like I don't know like things you knock out of the way and then they all fucking socks I filled with neuro virus. I mean like that couple tunnels and like, I don't know, like things you knock out of the way and then they have the trampled ones. It all fucking sucks. It's filled with neurovirus.

I mean, like that was the thing, like, Amelia was like, when we were touching anything, she was like, I was so aware of like, not touching my mouth again, but anything I touch, I was like, I just need to get hand sanitizer. It felt like we were gonna get sick. It felt disgusting. Yes.

And they're on top of it, but that is just any, I guess, children's place that I would go to. It's also decidedly not for us. Like, like this is, and they've tried, they have a grownups menu now, which they're pushing. They have beer and wine. I don't think they've always had beer and wine. They are trying to get at least like either kids with,

kids and their parents, they want their parents to stay or they want adults to come in on their own as a nostalgia play. They're trying to make some sort of, and it's just, it's not their lane. Or kids that like to party. Or kids that like to party. I think we should put a pin in that, because I think they,

if they are trying to make this work as a nostalgia play for adults or teenagers by their own, I think they're failing conclusively. Absolutely. And it feels like they're not even really trying. I think, and I think that would be a smart business strategy. Sure, great. To sort of like post six o'clock,

it's like Chuck after dark. Chuck after dark Chuck after dark. Let's make it feel more like a Dave and Buster's or like an adult hang right? Well, hey, we'll throw a bar in there and it can be the salad bar while kids are there and have pizza by the slice But then at night, you know, you can you can get yourself a cocktail when they're already serving beer and wine and I feel like John Oliver did a segment on this recently But there's like a weird like rabbit hole on YouTube of like a drunk adults getting to insane fights at Chuck E. Cheese.

Yes. Who are like parents at birthday parties fighting with each other and it getting like physical. That's good. And I'm like, I don't know if adults bringing children should be drinking. No, for sure. I think they should not be.

They don't have to be drinking enough to be drunk fighting. Totally. Yeah. In the middle of the day. Like I've been to kids birthday parties, you have to be drinking pretty fast to drunk fighting. Totally. In the middle of the day? Like I've been to kids' birthday parties. You have to be drinking pretty fast to get that hammered in at a minute of time. Right.

So I'm like, if you're serving beer and wine, then make that a like, after 6 o'clock, kids aren't allowed. Then it's for adults thing. Like more of a Dave and Buster thing. And then like play up the nostalgia. Chuck after dark is great. Chuck after dark is good. I need some strange, you know, like having just being like,

yeah. That's what he should say. I'm saying... Full blue? Yeah, why not? You do... Look, you keep it really simple. There's a switch that's X-rated, you turn it on when the kids leave, and you make sure

that the switch is flipped back in the morning. But to this day... Now make sure you flip the switch back before the AM shift. Okay, boss. My middle name is Erection. That's perfect. That's pretty good. Saying that at 9 AM to a bunch of toddlers.

Oh, I didn't flip the switch back, boss. It feels like all their plays to adults are to make the adults that are accompanying children hate being there less. Like they're like, can we elevate the food a little bit? Can we have- Can you numb this a little bit with like- Can we offer you alcohol, whatever?

I'm like, that's not helping anything it feels like. No. You're not actually gonna make the adults enjoy it or they're gonna get drunk and enjoy it too much. And you're not making something that adults can enjoy on their own. And I also wanna call this out. The last time I went was the last time I was here in LA. Met up with my buddy, Derek Simon,

who's my oldest friend. He's got a young daughter. And he said, she's never been to a Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah, important part of the story. Important part of the story. And he said, she wants to come. Can she pick the restaurant? Or I said, why doesn't she pick the restaurant?

Is there a place? He says, she's heard about Chuck E. Cheese. She's never been. Do you wanna go to Chuck E. Cheese, she's never been. Do you wanna go to Chuck E. Cheese with us? And I was like, yeah, that sounds fun. Fun to watch a kid experience Chuck E. Cheese for the first time. And she had a ball, right?

But I get there, they had been there for like five minutes. I just walk in and join them. We play games, we eat pizza. Then when I'm walking out, there is a woman at like the checkpoint desk who was like, can I check your stamp? You're walking out with them. Are these the kids? Is this the kid you walked in with?

And I was like, oh, when I got here, no one was manning the station. And they were like, you didn't get a wristband? And I was like, no, I didn't get a wristband, I didn't get a stamp. And they were sort of like, I guess we can let you leave, but we're not supposed to. Wow.

So I was like an adult joining an adult and his daughter. And it wasn't like they were trying to block me from coming in. They were like, we don't know if we should let you leave. That is weird. I think they were scared you left a kid in there. It's something. Thank you, Amelia.

It was huge that you were there. We would have definitely been stopped. But I'm like, to that point, this is not a place where they're like, hey, come hang out solo. No, no, no, for sure. Now we walk in there and there's like the security checkpoint and they don't stop any of us. And I feel like you went up and were like,

are we supposed to get stamped? And the woman was like, don't worry about it. Yeah, I think it was so dead. We were there at like, you know, we're basically, we're there at 1130 is when we all started to gather on a weekday. And so it was like, how many other people were there? 10?

Yeah. Like total, like other customers? On average, yeah. It was a pretty light house, so I think they felt like they could wander it. There was a lot of moms in there, in their children. And that I understand. Hey, if you're a single parent,

you've gotta occupy your kid for a little bit. Yeah, or whatever. Sure, makes sense. But it was a lot of moms and their kids. And there was, I would say there was like seven to eight moms and two dads I saw total. Yeah. I gave one of the dads a nod and he did not like it. I was sort of like, hey.

Well, he probably saw the man in there standing with you that had short shorts and a tiger tattoo on his leg. This most scary stamp you can have at the fucking Chuck E. Cheese. I wanna go back to something which is, I felt this way while watching, re-watching recently a movie I really love, Paul Schrader movie with Greg Kinnear about Bob Crane, the star of Hogan's Heroes and his sex addiction

called Autofocus. That's the first time you brought this title up on this podcast, isn't it? Yeah, I don't know if we've talked about Auto Focus before. We've talked about it before. Anyway, so Auto Focus, which includes a scene where, you know, famously where Greg Kinnear and Willem Dafoe are in a basement watching porno together,

and they say, oh, this is getting me hot, and they both start jacking off. Kind of pulling an auto focus. Kind of pulling an auto focus, yeah. But that's not what I was talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That term. They have a, there's another part where they're like, you know, Greg Kniehr is going to strip clubs

and he's being the drummer in the jazz band at a strip club, but then you have a moment where he's like, wait, there used to be like a jazz combo that would play live music at a strip club. And you have this feeling like you're watching this stuff, like, we used to make things in this country. Like, this used to be like a thing. At Chuck E. Cheese back in the day,

and at my equivalent, showbiz pizza, we used to have the in this country like this used to be like a thing At Chuck E Cheese back in the day and my equivalent showbiz pizza We used to have the rock of fire explosion which I will show to everyone and you might be too young to remember this but This was there was a fucking gorilla on the keyboards. There's an animatronic gorilla There were other like they're just a bunch of different creatures playing different instruments it was like a full fucking band of animatronics and they you know, they made a they later made a Documentary where somebody documentary's great. The documentary's really cool.

Rock fire explosion. But it's like, that also used to be part of the experience. And Chuck E. Cheese had the equivalent thing. There were a whole bunch of animatronics doing cool shit and that was part of what was fun about it. This is a thing, I'm not just watching what you're watching now, which is like literally Blippi videos.

They have licensed Blippi videos and licensed Kidz Bop videos that they were playing on a loop on video monitors. And that's the entertainment for kids versus it used to be something, not that you could see on YouTube, but something that was unique to this experience, unique to this individual institution.

And it's just been completely ripped out. We saw two different Sabrina Carpenter covers done by Kidz Bop with zero appearances by Chuck E. Cheese members. Then there were some original songs with Chuck E. Cheese and his pals as puppets. Yes. I feel like there was at least one number

with people in full body mascot suits. We were talking about how fucking fudgy the branding is. Completely erratic all over the place. Yeah, you were saying how there was a CGI chuck, a bad puppet chuck, an animatronic Chuck. There were so many different... A full-body mascot Chuck. And they also redesigned Chuck E. Cheese

in the 2010s, I believe. Maybe earlier than that. He's now voiced by the bowling for soup frontman. Is that true? Yes. He's had more of this kind of voice. Like he started out as like old-timey showbiz kind of sleazy agent.

And then the 90s, I feel like they were like, Chuck is cool, he skateboards. But he still had that kind of like off-ramp bucks bunny voice. And now he's bowling for soup guy and he's like very skinny. He's got sort of like lanky proportions. A Santa situation there.

And yes. And yeah, he's got a little bit more, he's more like a kid. Like he got to turn into a cool teen versus like this like kind of weird older. Cigar jumping. Exactly, yeah, this, like, kind of weird, older... Cigar chompin'. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, Borschbelt guy, yeah.

Which, so Munch, who is also a character there, I think Munch is a much more... First of all, it's like Mitch, but Munch is also a much more enjoyable character. And I asked... I like Munch. I said, is Munch popular? And she said, yeah, Munch is very popular. I'm like, Munch has got to be more popular than Chuck. I think so. I mean, I think... No one cares about Chuck popular. I'm like, Munch has got to be more popular than Chuck. I think so.

I mean, I think- No one cares about Chuck anymore. I don't think Chuck is like, Chuck is like Mickey Mouse. It's like Mickey Mouse isn't anyone's favorite, but everyone recognizes Mickey Mouse's affiliation with Disney, but like people are like, oh, I like Donald, you know, or whatever. I like Princess Jasmine. And people have the tertiary characters,

peripheral characters, what people are interested in. I'm going to put forth a really bold statement go for it It's a question. Yeah, okay Is Pasquale now more famous than Chuck? Now let me make the case. Okay. Yeah in store. They're minimizing Chuck more and more It's true, right like Chuck is getting kind of like nerfed on top of that There's a real lack of clarity on what Chuck looks like. We're seeing five different representations of him. He's abstracted, right? Pesquale is pretty

clean, is pretty consistent. It's just kind of a classic Italian pizza box chef. And now that they've branded into this new ghost kitchen delivery thing, his name is on the fucking box. It's called Pesquale's Pizza and Wings. Right, I'm like, there's a clarity and a focus to who Pasquale is. To me, Italian to rat is kind of a one-to-one. But. They did give us, they gave us like children's

paper plates and cups for soda and pizza slices. And we got a munch, a Jasper the dog, a Pasquale, and a Choc. And a Choc, yeah. And you made Amelia take the Pasquale because you're the most Italian. Wait, that was me. I think it was why.

It was me. Oh, you said it. You just reversed 40X. OK, so now it's even. Now it's even. I was the brutalest 40X Joe. OK. He said you couldn't say it.

I was the brutalest 40x joke. Okay. He said you couldn't say it. I don't know, I lost it. Well, he said 40x. Yeah. And by the way. Is that, I mean, is that line from that scene going to be the new, like, cause squeal like a pig for a long time was like the, you know, is, is late, you're a lady of the evening

going to replace squeal like a pig. Ooh, I don't know, it's a pretty funny line. I mean, but I don't know. I don't know. It's a pretty funny line I mean, but I don't know Okay, I don't think it's gonna replace squeal like a pay. I don't think so Okay, by the way in their adult branding as of this recording some local area Chuck E. Cheese's will be known as Chuck Eagles cheese depending on who won the Super Bowl or Chuck E Chiefs. Yeah, just so people know, because they'll come as... I hope it's the former, Go Birds. Well, you know what? Go Birds is right for this episode.

I'll say this, I said this when we were walking out of there, I was craving fresh air more than when the Los Angeles fires hit. When I walked outside, I was like, oh, thank God I can breathe again. It was, air-wise, it felt worse than, than the beginning of January. Absolutely suffocating. It was, I've been seated in the back seat,

like the very back seat right next to the airplane laboratory and that's better air than what we were breathing inside the fucking Chuck E. Cheese. It was absolutely awful. You also become like a little bit accustomed to it, which is bad. And then you get wafts. I remember when we were eating,

I just got a waft of something. I just felt, yeah, there was a point where I just like, I feel like someone just emptied their diaper. Like it's just like, I'm getting that smell, or filled their diaper, I should say. I had a big smile on my face. I really, I'm buying into Emma's theory that they were somehow funneling the gym air in,

because it was so distinctive. I don't know. Amelia's first text said, it smells like old piss in here. And I was like, well, that makes sense. There's probably been a thousand accidents on that carpet. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to conduct some recon

at some other area Chuck E. Cheese's. I'm going to go into each one of them and say like, I'm conducting a smell test. I'm just going to breathe in the air a little bit. Get on all fours for sniffing the carpet. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha they keep it warm or whatever. But it was like, yeah, it was moist in the air. I... It was disgusting. It was not a place to be eating food, which we didn't. And it's the kind of thing of like, you know,

the employees who I have a lot of empathy for, because I mean, I can't imagine there's so much, you know, like just like kid mess they have to deal with. And yeah, drunk adults or demanding adults is probably a thing they have to deal with. And yeah, drunk adults or demanding adults is probably a thing they have to deal with. But also just that must and that stench, which I'm sure you get desensitized to over time, but I don't know, it can't be good for you

to be breathing in that air for eight hour shifts. I told you that I took Miralax last night and I haven't gone to the bathroom yet. And I said this to you, but I was afraid, but it would also be fitting if I shit my pants in Chuck E. Cheese. I said to you, I said if you did that, I think it would improve the smell. A very real possibility.

I'd stand next to you like an air freshener. The last time I was there with my friend Derek and his daughter, the employees at the sort of main like, I don't know, the ticket cash in or where you get your like, power cards or whatever the fuck it is, behind the counter ordered like Starbucks delivery. And so like a door dasher came in with like a tray of Starbucks and dropped it off for them and was like, thank you, turned, walked out and then turned back, walked over to them and went, what is this? Is this, is this for kids? And they were like, yeah. And she went, okay, got it.

And walked out. It was an interaction that stuck with me. That's wild. It was one of these guys, if he showed the earth to him, he wouldn't know what the mother was. It was a woman. It was like a middle-aged woman. And she seemed genuinely confused., she's just like,

another drop off, here I go, gonna walk out, wait a second, turns around, scans the whole place, what is this? Is this for kids? What a psychopath, I mean, look, it's getting less, Chuck E. Cheese on the famous scale is way low. He's way down. We're past the 90 minute mark.

Should we talk about the food? Yeah. Okay, so we got a barbecue chicken pizza on stuffed crust. This is part of the new grownup menu. Well, yeah, also Griffin wanted to do Chuck E. Cheese. So that's another aspect. If you want to do Chuck E. Cheese, we're mad at that. You want it.

And then when we were like, okay, let's do, there was a meal deal and you could get a large pizza more drinks and an appetizer sampler Correct. Both of you were like I just want plain cheese pizza and I was like what if we do large Barbecue chicken with stuffed crust. It didn't even start that way It started with we were like you were like, how about stuffed crust and we were like, okay cheese pizza with stuffed crust That's cool. And then then we're gonna get pepperoni pizza And then that's fine. I mean you ask great if you get pepperoni pizza, which was like, that's fine, I'll eat the pepperoni. And then you asked Griff, you were like,

do you want toppings? And you were like, pepperoni, we were like, and I was like, I want cheese pizza, so we're gonna order like a small cheese pizza. Yes. Then, you, and then about three minutes in, we were talking to the person at the front counter, you decided we needed stuffed crust, barbecue chicken pizza.

I was doing like three card Monte. It was like, I kept being like, what if actually we take that out and we put that in and move this around and somehow I got you guys to agree to an order you hated. I hated on site before we even tasted. I broken was just, I don't like barbecue pizza. I think it shouldn't be a pizza.

It sucks. I hate barbecue pizza. Amelia, you agree with me? Yep. And the results, check out with that. Barbecue sauce as a base instead of tomato sauce is disgusting. I disagree.

I like barbecue chicken pizza. I think it works in some contexts. Oh, you like it. I don't think this was- You like the fresh veggies, which were good on it, but you don't think this is what? I don't think this was a good execution of it, but I will say I like the chicken was, the chicken itself I thought was just like

a really bad protein, low quality protein. Some good crispness, yes, from the peppers and onions. The chicken didn't bother me that much, but the vegetables on low quality protein, some good crispness, yes, from the peppers and onions. The chicken didn't bother me that much, but the vegetables on it were the highlight. Yeah, the vegetables were a highlight, but I did think that stuffed crust was quite good. Can I defend myself for a moment? Please. So, I was going to be in town this week.

You said, hey, we'd love to have you do an episode. I said, what chains are on the board? You said, I don't know, we're trying to figure out a few records. We're getting ready for like Munch Madness. That's right. The timing was a little weird. Different Munch. Different Munch.

Different Munch. There weren't clear options, right? And it was a two of anything. But there was some Munch Madness today in a different way. There were some things you threw out where you were like, I guess we could do this, I guess we could do this. And I said, I eat so much shit. I eat so much like chain food, both good and bad,

various tiers of quality, feels like a waste to pick something that I don't care about a little bit or have some feeling for, right? Some history with. Yeah, fair. So then I went to the Doughboy's Wikia and I was like, what chains has it been the longest

since it was covered once? I was like, I don't wanna pitch doing a five or a six. But I was like, what has it, over five years since it was covered? And I saw the Chuck E Cheese was 2016. Aaron McGathey. Aaron McGathey. Got a very low score. Mm-hmm. I had had this experience with my friend Derek a year ago and then during. Derek and his daughter. Derek and his daughter. Thank you for clarifying. Which is which sounds like an indie band or a nice indie movie. Which

also say like well I'll get to this in a second. But then- It does, Derek and his daughter? Derek and his daughter at the trucking phase. During lockdown, we did these George Lucas talk show marathon streams where we'd go for like 12 hours raising money for different causes and businesses that were affected during the pandemic. And so part of it was me as Watto, a disgusting character,

ordering like the grossest food I could and eating it on camera and just being like, what's the funniest thing I could order as delivery? And it was right when I hesitate to call it a scandal, but this thing happened where like a bunch of people started seeing Pasquale pizza show up on delivery app. And they were like, where's this pizzeria? I've never heard of Pasquale's before.

They'd get it delivered, they'd be like, this tastes familiar. They'd look it up, and it was like, oh, Chuck E. Cheese, at a time where no one can come in person and touch a bunch of games, is trying to just straight sell their pizza to adults, which was kind of funny.

It was, and it was- They were tricking people. Right, it was fairly clever, like, and there were a lot of those ghost kitchen ploys that were happening at the time, most famously Robert Earl of Planet Hollywood fame had all his celebrity ghost kitchen some of which persists somewhat one of which has an integration with Chuck E Cheese buddy V's cake slice interesting which they sell at Chuck E

Cheese is a Robert Earl brand we did not do a fundraiser for the fires by the way We actually we did a fundraiser for the element fire You came on the George Lucas. We did. You helped raise a lot of money. We're gonna do something. But I ordered Pesquale's at some point, like 2020, summer 2020 peak madness. And it was a thing of like,

what's the worst thing we can make Griffin eat? I feel like sharpling maybe like suggested when he was on the show or whatever. I got this like Pesquale's and I was like, this is not terrible. This is better than I remember it tasting. I had a lot of fondness for Chuck E. Cheese as a child. And I was a kid who mostly ate junk food,

but didn't eat very much. Was there Chuck E. Cheese in New York City? There was not. There now are a couple. There's one in Harlem. There's one near the Barkley Center in Brooklyn. I think there's one in Queens. In my memory, there was not one within the five boroughs.

Why me for the Barkley Center? Basketball, I don't know. Oh, yeah, I know. It's Barkley Center. In my memory, there was not one within the five boroughs when I was growing up. Why me for the Barclay Center? Basketball, I don't know. Barclay Center. Barclay Center. Is it Fort Charles Barclay? No, it's not. Barclay is the bank. Oh, Barclay.

Oh, right. Sorry. But when my family would go on road trips and stuff, it was one of the most exciting elements to me of are we going to a place where there's a Chuck E. Cheese? Right, right, right. Barclay Center would be funny as hell. Charles Barclay Center. I mean, he's the funniest. We said it before, he's the funniest man in the world.

Yeah, he's maybe my favorite SNL host. Oh he's the best. Truly, yeah. But it was like a very exciting special occasion treat for me. And yet I have this very distinct memory, there were very few places I wanted to eat that didn't have some kind of gimmick. I was so into themed restaurants and any fast food chain that would have toys. I think it is really what formed my bad diet is as a child I was not that interested in eating.

So there always had to be some other incentive where I was like, I'll eat this if it means I get to see a robot show, I get a Toy Story toy, I get whatever. And Chuck E. Cheese is one that I remember as a child being like, I love this place. I know this pizza isn't good. Like even as a five-year-old,

I know this is substandard pizza. And not even coming from like a New York pizza snob perspective, being like, I wish this was Domino's level. And when I got Pesquale delivered in 2020, I remember thinking, huh, this is closer to Domino's than I remember it being. Had they stepped up their game a little bit,

especially if now in this crisis moment, they have to just sell the pizza. Then I went with Derek and his daughter last year and I was like, hey, your wife must be really happy that I took the bullet and spared her having to go to Chuck E. Cheese. This seems like the kind of place she would hate. He was like, no, my wife loves Chuck E. Cheese. She got so angry when she heard I was going with you.

Wow. And she has to work today. She asked that we order a second pie for takeout to bring to her. That's wild. And we ordered, I believe it was a plain cheese pie with stuffed crust. And we were all like, look, this is pretty good.

This is like pretty good fast food pizza, right? And then he was like, she's gonna be thrilled when she takes this home. So I see you haven't done it in eight years. I've had two experiences in the last five years where I was like, I think they've stepped up their game a little bit and also I have some fun associations with this place.

We can talk about the sort of like collapse of their branding. I take it by this pizza. I'm like, this sucks. I regret what I did. This was a mistake. You're angry at me. I was just saying, if you were trying to win Wiggs and I over on the pizza at Chuggy Cheese.

I thought it was good work. The large barbecue chicken pizza with stuffed crust was the worst way to do it. So here was my strategy, I'll explain this. And I was, there was a hubris to this, which I recognize now, right? The two times I've enjoyed it in the last five years were getting the single most basic option possible.

And the one plus up that I was vouching for was the stuffed crust execution is good. I think there may be good at melted cheese and nothing else. I will say this. The stuffed crust is good. I like the stuffed crust. The stuffed crust, they do a good job.

I'm a bit of a stuffed crust skeptic. And like pizza hut stuffed crust, I don't like it. There's something about how this crust is actually still kind of like a crunchy, and then you get the cheese in there. But I said this, we ordered that pizza and I said, let's get just a cheese pizza. And we got a medium cheese pizza with it.

On traditional crust, not on stuffed crust. On traditional crust. And that, I said this, was a life raft. It was. It was. A savior. Yeah. I would take bites of stuff and then I would, we would take, I would take bites of stuff and then I would chase it with a bite of cheese pizza. Right. Because all

the other stuff was hard, was, was hard. I was coming into this cocky and I saw that they were calling out on the sort of like big video board, like new adult menu, new barbecue chicken pizza. And I was like, if they're proud of this and they're showing this off and I think they've improved their shit in The last couple years then maybe we should taste What they're boasting I know I think it was good. It was but I was wrong. I know I don't think you're wrong I think I think it was worth it to try it. I think we at least got a more honest assessment exactly That's where I was going

I think I think from our standpoint of like we're trying to review this place I was my case I'm gonna go like I think it was're trying to review this place. And hey, I'm gonna go. Like, I think it was a great thing to try and I don't think it really works. It got a bad score. Why not try the more daring options and see if it improves it? And unfortunately, maybe it's gonna knock it down.

And honestly, it sucked shit. It was so bad. I mean, like, just the smells in the place. And then we got the app sampler. We got all the food at the same time. The medium cheese pizza. Yeah, so it's basically the way the system, you order at the counter and then you are given a pager.

When the pager beeps, you go up to the pickup window to pick up your order and you bring it, you walk it to your own table. And we got all the food at the same time. The rest of the order was we got the medium cheese pizza and traditional crust. We got the app sampler, which comes with your choice of meatballs or wings.

We ended up getting an extra order of wings. We got those as well. But on our app, Sattler Potter, we got the Korean barbecue meatballs. We got the, it also comes with cheesy bread and fries, just regular fries. Then we also- The fries sucked.

We got boneless, we'll get to all of it. We got boneless buffalo wings with ranch, and we got a chocolate chip cookie, which is like kind of a Pazuki style form factor, like a big boy that's warmed in the oven and cut into pizza slices. Should be a slam dunk. That should be a slam dunk.

And then fountain drinks, and I will say, they had wild cherry Pepsi in the fountain, which was great. I liked it. Besides the cheese pizza, the highlight for me was the wild cherry Pepsi. Well, here's the other highlight for me, Mitch, and this comes down to just keeping it simple.

I think the cheesy bread on the app sampler platter, which actually had some Italian seasoning on it, one of the few things that was actually seasoned in the entire meal. Some garlic taste to it. Some garlic taste to it. And it might've just been garlic salt and oregano or whatever, but it was a little bit of seasoning.

That was like to me my favorite bite. I think bread, cheese, marinara sauce and seasoning are the only things that taste good there. Anything that's a combination of those elements The marinara sauce and seasoning are the only things that taste good there. Yes. Anything that's a combination of those elements with nothing else added is at least functional. I thought the boneless wings were really bad. I thought the texture was horrible. I thought they were clearly from frozen.

They were, look, a little spoiler alert. We also ordered Pasquale's pizza when we got back here. To see if it traveled any better than even get burnt. It traveled better. We got a stuffed crust, large stuffed crust cheese. We had a large cheese pizza on stuffed crust. We got bone and buffalo wings with ranch, and then we got meatball dippers with marinara,

which ended up just being meatballs with the side. Susser added the meatball dippers with marinara to be here. The meatballs were revolting. They looked terrible. They were really bad. They had a horrible texture. Meatballs were the worst thing of both orders.

Correct. In store and here. My first bite, the ones here were so dry. They look like cardboard. They look like paper mache balls. Yes. Which is funny, because I looked in the kitchen and there was a dune worm and it was just,

they were shooting out the meatballs. So that explains why they were so dry. Shy Halood was regurgitating them. So like, yeah, of course they'd be extremely dry. And on the other, on the other side, the wings here and there are so soggy. And when I walked by the kitchen, you know who I saw making the wings?

Who's that? This guy actually used to work at Sbarro. Oh, wow. The Abyss. The Abyss was there. The Abyss was working in the kitchen. The Abyss himself. The Abyss himself. Wow, titular Abyss in the kitchen. Yeah, the abyss himself. The abyss himself.

Wow. The titular abyss, wow. Yeah, I mean, that would explain it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, didn't you see someone back there too? I saw a couple of things. How do you mention it? I did see a pair of things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I took a bite of the- Meatball? Yeah. Yeah. And it was really dry. I didn't love the taste of my mouth. And then Beetlejuice went, hey, look out!

And a sandworm came out of my mouth. A different sandworm, not the duneworm. Not the duneworm, yes. I'm not saying the same thing. No, I would expect it. And I was like, I hate him! And we thanked Beetlejuice for the warning. We did.

That he said, hey, look out. We were very appreciative of that. We said thank you, Beetlejuice, each. And then he disappeared. He disappeared. We made the mistake of doing it three times. Oh, shit, hey, look out. We were very appreciative of that. We said thank you, Beetlejuice, each. And then he disappeared. He disappeared. We made the mistake of doing it three times. Oh, shit. But then, alternatively, when I bit into the wings,

I was like, who's making these? And I looked in the back, and it was Ocean Master Orm, played by Patrick Wilson from the Aquaman franchise. Right, yeah. That would explain it. Yeah. And this is weird. And he used to work at Sbarro's. And he used to work at Sbarro's. So him and the Abyss were working back there? They both were working there. Yeah, that would explain it. Yeah. I had, and this is weird. That makes sense. We didn't discuss-

And he used to work at Sabaro's. And he used to work at Sabaro's. He used to work at Sabaro's. So him and the Abyss were working back there? They both were working there. They both jumped over. We didn't discuss this in advance, but I'm realizing I had a similar experience.

Oh, wow. I'd been in that meatball, and I was like, oh, this is really dry. I wonder who made this. And I just happened, I was like, I just was going by the kitchen. I was like, I gotta refill my drink.

Because there's no part. Beetlejuice disappeared. We made, all three of us said, thanks Beetlejuice at the same time that it disappeared. And you went to the kitchen. I went over to the kitchen. I just looked in the kitchen. I saw who was making the meatballs.

It was of course, Poki, the cactus enemy from the Mario franchise. That makes sense. One of the 10 most famous directors in the world. And that was like, okay, well that explains that at least. But like, what's going on with these wet wings? Yeah. That's what it was, right? The wings?

Yeah, the wings were wet. The wings, yeah. So what's going on with these wet wings? Yeah. And I look in there and you know who's making the wings is- Who's that? It's of course, Darwin from the TV series, uh, Sequest the dolphin talking dolphin from Sequest.

I feel like I'm just remembering something else you told me that you saw when we were there. What's, what's, what's this? But did you say something else? I remember you turning to me. You had taken a bite of the meatballs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you were really dry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you wanted to sort of counterbalance it with the wings.

Yeah, yeah. But they overdid it. Yeah. And you were like, oh, so it's dripping down my face. Yeah. And you were like, who's making these? And you looked over to the kitchen. Yeah.

And it was the Sandman and Hydro Man. That's right. From Spider-Man working together. That was, yeah. Thomas Haden Church. One third of the Sinister Six. Yeah. Right there.

Yeah. And you were like, oh, I'm going to be a good guy. Yeah. And you were like, oh, I'm going to be a good guy. Yeah. the Sandman and Hydro-Man from Spider-Man working together. Thomas Hayden Church. One third of the Sinister Six, right there. Yeah, which is funny that they're in there in the back. In the back, yeah. That is really wild. Hopefully there's not a new Sinister Six with the Abyss and the Sandworm from Beetlejuice.

Also the Sandworm from Beetlejuice. Darwin from SeaQuest, DSP, Who I realized used to work at Sabaro. That's where I knew him from. That's where you knew him from. That would be a heel turn if he was- It really would be. Yeah. No, you were right.

That did, I did remember that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, really wild. Anyway, so I took a bite of that. I took a second bite of Meatball. Yeah. And- And what would you describe the texture?

I would say it was extremely dry. I was like, man, this is so, what is going on with this? Yeah. I go into the kitchen, cause I'm just like, I'm sorry, I'm not supposed to be inherent in here, but this is so dry. I honestly worried this might be a health hazard,

like someone was gonna choke on this. And the employee in there goes, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, It's a sand person from Tatooine. A Tuscan raider. It's a Tuscan raider from, yeah, I shouldn't say sand person. That's a majority. But yeah, it's a Tuscan raider.

And I'm like, okay, well that explains that. And then anyway, I went back and I had some of my wings and I was like, this is way too wet. What's going on over here? I go back into the kitchen, I do another check and boss N Nast is working. That's, that's, that makes sense. He's smobbering on the wings.

That makes sense. The goddamn Gungan, making these wings that were so wet. I used to work at Sparrow. Yeah. I think he used to manage it. I think he's managed to borrow. Yeah.

You know what's funny? What's that? I remember taking a bite of, what's it, meatballs? Yeah. Yeah, and they were really dry, what's it, meatballs? Yeah. And they were really dry. That's right, mine was super dry too. I was kind of like this.

When I was taking a bite, and then I took a bite of the wings, and they were so wet, my fingers were dripping, and I went to the manager and I was like, I'm sorry, never do this, but can I go check in on the kitchen? I gotta see who's making these. I wanted to get permission. They were super cool there. They were super friendly. They were like, sure. I was like, I'm not gonna be rude, I'm not do this, but can I go check in on the kitchen? I gotta see who's making this. I wanted to get permission.

I didn't want to overstep. They were super cool there. They were super friendly. I was like, I'm not gonna be rude. I'm not a Karen. I'm not trying to film this and post it online. I just kind of want to know. And it was the mummy, Ardeth Bay,

and the preacher from the Black Lagoon. Wow. Well, that explains it. It was a mini monster mash. Yeah. Wow. That's wild. I was that explains it. It was a mini monster mash. Yeah. Wow. That's wild. I was starstruck. And the reason I was starstruck is because I remember

the creature from the Black Lagoon used to work at Sbarro's. I recognized him from there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You know. It's wild.

God, I can't think of a wet third. I took a bite of the, I didn't have the meatballs, but I took a bite of the wings and they were really wet. Yeah. Oh wow. I wanna look in the kitchen too. And what was it? It was just, it was a really wet guy. Just making them and he was just covered in wet

and he was just so wet and dripping. And also I remember the person who was making the meatballs was my ex-girlfriend. Very dry. It's very dry. Chronically dry. I think I know the wet guy Amelia's talking about because I think he did used to work at Sparrow.

Yeah, he did. Yeah, that's what it was. That sounds like the he did used to work at Sparrow. Yeah, he did. Yeah, that's what it was. That sounds like the guy who used to work at Sparrow. All right, so the meatballs were- By the way, I didn't tell you this, but when you guys left the table to go look into the back, I put the meatball and the wing into a shaker and I shook them up and they were perfect.

Wow. So maybe that was the fact. It was a little hack, yeah. The meatball was perfectly moist and the wing was now dry and perfect and it's crispy. But I'll say this, we got- Meatballs are horrible. We got-

Wings are really bad. We got- Really dry, really wet. We got boneless wings for the app sampler. And then we got bone in wings here. For delivery, yeah. And I said, for little kids at Chuck E. Cheese, let's do, because in my mind,

the idea was a large cheese pizza, boneless wings, this seems like more kid stuff, and also I like that too on top of it. But the boneless wings were better than the bone-in wings. The bone-in wings were disgusting. They were- They were bad. They were so, it was the wettest wing.

Yeah. How wet were they? They were really wet. I mean, I didn't see the delivery guy, Amelia, but what was the deal with the delivery guy? He was just dripping. He was just a wet guy. Oh, right.

OK. Oh, he was just another wet guy? Yeah. OK. I actually saw him as he was, because I got to saw him get back into his car. And it was like. Oh, and I saw that.

He was like a Honda Civic. But it had a little delivery, like one of those things they put on the top of the car. Sure. And it was a Sparrow delivery vehicle. Oh, it was a submarine. I think it was a submarine. All right, the chocolate chip cookie, which we got,

look, the app sam cookie, which we got, look, the app sampler, the fries were horrible as well. They were just really inert and really flavorless. No seasoning, which maybe kids don't want them seasoned. I don't know, I feel like I wanted salty fries when I was a kid, or seasoned fries. I feel like it's snorting over there. You know what's interesting? Those fries were really, they had the worst structural integrity of any fry I've ever seen.

I don't mean those hyperbolically. I held one up at one point like this and it literally went boop. It just fell over. It fell all the way over and it didn't break. It was just so, it was kind of soggy. It was really soggy. And it was really soft. Yeah. And I was like, where are they getting their potatoes from? Right.

And then I actually saw, it was just weird timing. I looked out the window and I saw the delivery truck coming and delivering the potatoes. And it was a Boston duck boat tour vehicle. And it was dripping wet and they dropped off the potatoes and it was a Boston duck boat tour vehicle. And it was dripping wet and they dropped off the potatoes and then they drove straight into the ocean. That makes sense. That makes sense.

What's funny, cause they had, so they have like these, you know, and a lot of, it's a shopping center. So a lot of them have like these bays that they kind of open up for trucks to back into. And they're like, okay, well the potato delivery is done. Go ahead and close up the day. And the guy's like, nah, we got another delivery coming. Meatballs are on the way.

And you know who pulls up? Who? I couldn't imagine. Ah. It's, of course, uh... This sucks. This sucks. This sucks. This sucks.

The power went out. The power went out. We're at two hours. Who was delivering the meatballs? Oh right, I mean of course it was Muad'Dib riding a sand horse. Okay, so... So the chocolate chip cookie, I thought was... I think a kid would like this. I just...

It was pretty bad. It tasted like a thing you get at the grocery store and make it your oven at home. And for $10. It should be a slam dunk. I mean, I was gonna say, if that was like a, like, Pillsbury, like, roll, you know? You take it home, you undo it, you lay it out, you put it in the oven for five minutes,

I think it would taste better than what we just got. I am such a big Pizzucchi fan. And this not even attempting for anything as elevated as a Pizzucchi, I was like, this can't miss. And there was nothing bad about it, but you're like, this should be an automatic, like, basement three-star item. Here's the thing.

They have, I know they have ice cream there because they put a fucking scoop of vanilla on there. Yeah. How much is that gonna cost you? Yeah. Why not? Why not do that? It doesn't make sense.

I mean, it just felt so, it came out at the same time as all of our other stuff. It just felt- That was part of the issue. It just looked, and it also, it looked shitty. I've never seen a big cookie that looked so shitty. It was a bad cut, like it was poorly sliced. I feel like, Wiggs, remind me, because there was basically, we got like a prefix, right?

That was- Okay, go on. I'll go, no, go on. The one large pizza, the apt sampler platter, four sodas and the cookie were all one? The number four combo is a large pizza, the appetizer sampler and four drinks. That was it. How much was that? I don't...

I'll have to bring up a photo of the receipt. But then we added on wings and cookie and the second smaller plain pizza. Yes, I believe it was 49 or $59. Amelia, do you remember for the combo? Jesus. It was not cheap. Yeah. That's not a good deal. Yeah, something like that, 40s or 50s.

Like if that was 29, I'd be like, look, it's not good, but for $29, you feed a family or whatever. You're also paying a premium for the experience, that's part of it, although of course you're paying more for games on top of that. Right, it's not like that's, because I thought, I was like, oh, how many points did we get

to play games with that meal? Yeah, and you were like, no, separate transaction. There was a thing that said 99.95 for six kids, it was a birthday, and I showed just Weiger the top of it, making a joke about it. But I was like, 99.95 for six kids, when you think about it, I'm like, that's still it. But I was like, 99.95 for six kids. When you think about it, I'm like, that's still expensive. To feed six kids. Yeah. That's like, it's,

you know, $15 per kid. But like, it's just- We were just talking about this in San Francisco with, with Micus too, I think that he was saying that that's the case. But then when you get there, you- Oh, Chankin. Each, or with Chankin, sorry. And each individual parent also still has to buy the Chuck E. Cheese socks for the kids, because you can't bring socks from home. Yes. Chankin was bringing my goddaughter to Chuck E. Cheese. And by the way, they won't sell you those used socks.

Hahahaha! What are fucking rules? Hahahaha! I saw. You were ordering the combo. You said, you're like, is there a number eight, like a sock? A kid sock? Try to just slip it in there. We'll get a number five. Let's get another small pizza on the side. Four, six socks.

I was going to say, I saw they had signage that was like the Chuck E. Cheese play pass or something like that. Yeah. That was like $7.99 a week for unlimited games, which I was like, that's not a bad deal. But it's also like $7.99 a week rather than a month. I don't know if it means they bill you weekly or you're getting a $32 bill once a month, which does feel a lot more significant. That's the cost, that's insane. Because that's also banking on you going there enough times

in a month. How are you possibly going to take advantage of that? Unless you kid abs, it's their favorite place in the world. It's the only place you take them after school every day. Yeah, maybe if they're, and maybe if they're a certain age they could like, I could feel like maybe a four year old could like love Chuck E. She's that much where you get value out of it for but for the most part seems like a like a bad value

Well, we also when we bought one card. I mean we've gone through the food enough, right? We I guess we could say in studio I would add the large cheese first off the cheese pizza the only things I actually like the cheese pizza and Liked is is you know kind of whatever Marginal but the cheese pizza- Do you get the one large, one topping, four sodas? Is that what it was? That's what it was, yeah. The number four was 54.49.

54.49, really expensive. That's way too much money. A full Stever Bell. Thank you, Emma. That's insane. And then in studio, so the medium cheese pizza and then the cheesy bread, which came with the appetizer sampler,

in studio, the bone and buffalo wings we already talked about weren't great. The meatball dippers were horrible. And then the large cheese pizza on stuffed crust, I thought was fine. It was fine. Like, right? Like was it, again, the stuffed crust was overperformed.

I think you and I both liked it okay, although I would never say it was good. No, definitely not good. I think the crust is really good. I think barbecue chicken pizza is just an acquired taste. You and I like it. I like it, yeah. Was not a great execution of it, but was serviceable. If you're You and I like it. I like it, yeah.

It was not a great execution of it, but was serviceable. If you're not a fan, it was not going to win you over. Absolutely not. And you were sort of disgusted visually from the moment it came out. I mean, it didn't look good. None of us thought it looked good. I mean, it wasn't like the worst thing I've ever

eaten on the podcast either. The stuffed crust was a huge savior. But like I said, the life raft of that meal was the cheese pizza. Here's a thing, Wags. I think you probably noticed. The sus test. Sus meal was the cheese pizza. Here's a thing, Wags, I think you probably noticed. The sus test, sus had one slice of pizza. That's true.

And one wing and one meatball, and the meatballs were just so bad. And then Carmen Christopher was here, who just was a guest. That's right, last week's episode. And he texted me just out of the blue, he texted me after he left, that one slice of Chuck E. Cheese

gave me a worse stomach ache than all the KFC we ate last week. Wow. That's what he said. Pretty harsh. I mean, I don't feel than all the KFC we ate last week. Wow. That's what he said. Pretty harsh. I mean, I don't feel good. Yeah, I don't feel good. I don't feel good.

And I- You never feel great. Right. I felt a little, like I didn't think this was gonna be a platinum plater, but I feel like last time when you did it with McGathey, it like was a 1.5 or something. It was, I remember that being pretty rough.

Yeah, and my experiences these last couple of times had been like, this might now be a three star chain. This might be a two and a half forker. I was like, it might go up a little bit. And I was getting a little bit adventurous in the ordering and pushing us into weird directions. Cause I was like, let's give them the chance to like show themselves.

And I very quickly felt like, no, I gave them enough rope to hang themselves. If we had just gotten one cheese pizza and four sodas and a cookie, we would have been like, eh, fine, whatever, serviceable. And I think by trying more, even though the cheese pizza was a life raft, I'm now judging it more harshly, because it wasn't like a savior. a life raft. I'm now judging it more harshly

because it wasn't like a savior. Do you know what I'm saying? It kept us alive, but it wasn't giving like joy. By being more comprehensive, we ended up kind of, seeing this place for what it actually is. We've eaten worse pizza on the podcast. We've eaten worse pizza. Okay, so let's talk about the experience a little bit,

because part of why you go to Chuck E. Cheese is because there's a bunch of games. Where a kid can be a kid. Where a kid can be a kid. Another thing that's happened. Where grownups can do recon for a podcast. Where a grandma can awkwardly stand around and see the Chuck E. Cheese that looked like

he's hung himself and gone to a coma, and now is just comatose. And then you were playing more of the... Wait, is that Chuck E. Cheese Cheese or was that Toys R Us? Oh shit. Oh, you're right. Yeah. Wait, what'd you say?

Where a kid can be a kid. Whose motto was that? I think that is, cause Toys R Us was, I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us. I'm a Toys R Us, you're right, you're right. Okay, okay, you know it. Yeah, yeah.

Is it with Chuck E. Cheese is where a kid, is that what it is? Yeah, I think that's right. It's on Chuck E. Cheese is where a kid can be a kid. That sounds right, yeah. By the way, and this is a thing Emilia pointed out, a think that's right. It's on Chucky Cheese's where a kid can be a kid. That sounds right, yeah. By the way, and this is the thing Amelia pointed out, I think that I knew anything a lot of people know, but that the E in Chucky Cheese stands for entertainment,

Charles Entertainment Cheese. There is a bit that they do in store. There was like a thing, my middle name is entertainment. That's one of the videos that plays. So they lean into it a little bit. And they did play, they played a Hamilton ripoff that we all thought was pretty good. It was not bad.

It was not bad at all. Amelia asked, do you think Lin-Manuel actually wrote this? This was insane, no, no, she didn't ask that, she was adamant that he did write it. Yeah. And we were like, no he didn't, and you were like, yeah he did, and we're like, no he did not.

It sounds exactly like a Hamilton song. It sounds exactly like a Hamilton song, but we're pretty sure, I'm almost 100% positive that he did not write. I think they- The Chuck E.G. looks so sad. He might have done some work on the side, you don't know. He could have done it secretly. It's possible, but I think they probably commissioned

a far less expensive, talented musician to do a simulacrum. That's usually how these things go. There was a really weird song that was called like Dino Disco. Yes, that was original. That's something. It was a new character who was called like Dino Disco. Yes, that was a fucking bizarre. It was a new character who was like a Dino Disco lady who was having a party at her apartment.

There was a Karen next door who calls the cops on her and the cops are like, I don't know. Seems like a pretty fun party. And Amelia called out that it was the exact same beat as the Bad Touch. That song gets ripped off a lot doesn't it? baby, baby, nothing but we're gonna do it like disco pizza party

yeah that's exactly what it was that seemed to be an original song that was an original song, there was, I mean stolen it seems like in some way then there was a Sabrina Carpenter song that were both Kidbop Kidbop versions of it was in the song. Please, please, please.

Please, please, please, that says like a motherfucker. Yeah, and they say, I beg you don't embarrass me or my mother. Which is very funny. One six. But all of it, I guess I should say all of it sucked. It was so all over the place and the mouse never really did it.

And it was just a TV. You guys pointed this out right when you got there it's just three monitors at the front that you're just watching fucking TV on it's just looping it's basically looping YouTube videos I'll also say for the the handful of children that were there and it was not holding any of their attention no the kids were fixed a couple commercials that was really strange right like I don't want to see ads how do I have to pay for Chuck E Premium? Fucking everything these days. You got to do an upcharge to opt out of ads.

Yeah, if I want to see the full cuts of The Office, I have to pay for Chuck E Premium? Jesus. I'm going to go ahead and Chuck Plus, just so I can skip the ads at Chuck E Cheese. It's unbelievable. Can I, let's go full circle back to this robot thing. Yes, please.

Right, because I think more than the food, this is the fundamental failing of the place. Because, as you said, Five Nights at Freddy's is huge. It has been big for like 10 years. Gigantic IP as a video game. You know, like, certainly for people much younger than me, now as movies. But there are like 20 paperback books.

There are like all these like fucking things. Kids love this shit. Kids are fascinated by it, and if they could go and see like, hey, this is the thing that inspired Five Nights at Freddy's. Instead, their response is to rip all of that out. They just try to create, try to sever themselves from that. The exact 10-year arc of Five Nights at Freddy's getting bigger and bigger basically corresponds directly

with every year Chuck E. Cheese being like, we're scaling this down. The bigger it got, and I have a nine-year-old cousin who's really into retro shit. I think that's part of Five Nights at Freddy and Minecraft and these kids being like, I like games that look pixelated or things that are a little bit more like 80s or whatever.

And Five Nights at Freddy is kind of building off of the inherent creepiness of that stuff. I'm not saying they need to go full horror with Chuck E. Cheese, but the other side of this is the Rock of Fire explosion characters who were really beloved. And when there was the acquisition and Chuck E. Cheese merged with Rock of Fire and they took those characters out and replaced them with Chuck and his Make Believe band, the Rock of Fire purists were like, these were better characters.

It was a better band. It was better animatronics. I think they overstayed a little bit, but documentary is pretty interesting. And there were some people who have like spent a lot of time and a lot of money and a lot of upkeep recreating the band in their like garage, like buying the robots and piecemeal putting them together. And there was a big thing like 15 years ago where this one guy would program the robots to do modern pop songs.

And would do like Usher's Love in this Club or whatever. And it would get really big. And it was just like, this is so clearly like, there is an audience for this, right? There is an audience that would love to see, like, I don't care about watching a monitor with kids bop kids singing espresso. But I think it would be cool

to see some robots singing espresso. Yeah, if you're gonna maybe license the kids bop version and maybe re-voice it and have the animatronics perform it, all of a sudden now people are like, I think adults and kids are intrigued sudden now people are like I think Adults and kids are intrigued exactly. I think that is still appealing to both age group. Yeah. Yeah, I got a pitch How about some fucking candy the little kids in there? I don't see an ounce of candy. Yeah Skittles, no, they don't yeah, they don't have I mean like you can buy ice cream They did have an ice cream vending machine, which we didn't mess around with we

I mean, like you can buy ice cream. They did have an ice cream vending machine, which we didn't mess around with. We should have. And they had Dippin' Dots, right? And they had Dippin' Dots as well. There was like a machine for ice cream bars, and it was a lot of like strawberry shortcake, like sort of like classical,

but then the top row was four of the Chuck characters, represented just by cartoon icons, without any clarity as to what the bar looked like or the flavor was, and I forgot to get one. Yeah, I was really intrigued by those, and I forgot to check in on it. There was, I went to the counter and they only had Skittles Plus.

There wasn't a... Fuck, I know. Yeah, that's enough charge. Yeah, enough charge. Right, if you want regular Skittles, it's only yellow. Yeah, yeah, Skittles Plus. You have to pay Skittles Plus

to get the other color. A monthly subscription to Skittles Plus. The longer cuts at the office. Yeah. Yeah. I, there was a funny moment where, Griff, you brought your old card, you had a lot of points on there and you played it this game.

From when I went with Derek and I said, I need to clarify that I don't go there a lot as an adult by myself. I searched my wallet and I was like, oh, I still have this card, I have tickets saved up on here. Yeah. We, well, so you did a coin game

where you got a lot of coins and then we were trying to figure out What prize you should get and I was like look at that. It's like a chuggy cheese with lights around it that's kind of cool and I look back at wyger and wygers just like Here's what it was That thing cost 4 000 tickets was it 5 000 tickets? Whatever it was it would have cost you we would have to pay out of pocket We would have to pay like 40 bucks out of pocket and and I just like there's no there's no justification for this You really want it and then you give him the look and Mitch says what and he said I just want to make our boy

happy I felt like my parents were fighting And I'm like guys you don't need to do this for me I'm happy just getting the shitty stuff I can get with the points I have. And you were like, if you really want it, we'll do it. If it means a lot to you. It looked fun, and you were shaking your head no. And I agreed within that moment.

I was like, OK, you're right. So you did get some gifts. We can go over those. But also, Wags, we also played. This also sucked to me. We played some Skeeball. That's right. So Miyu, you and Jamelia played skee-ball. Yeah.

And we all did pretty well at that. I won. And then we played some basketball. That's right. You won, but the fucking, mine was broken. This is where, this is the thing. I should have just said no when you said, let's play basketball.

I said, I don't wanna do it. You said, come on. And I was trying to talk you out. I said, I'll be basketball. I said, I don't want to do it. And you said, come on. And I was trying to talk you out. I said, I'll be bad. And you're like, I'll be bad too. And then I know how competitive you are. We go in there. We play one round. I win.

Why is this Luca Donchic with the ball? I was in some shots. I'm going to say this. Yeah. I beat you in that first round. And in the second round, you kicked my ass. But you lost. The machine was fucked up. This is the thing. I beat you in that first round, and in the second round, you kicked my ass, but you lost.

The machine was fucked up. This is the thing, you said you lost the first time, and then your response was that it was rigged, which fine. Then we switched machines, and then you won the second time, and you thought, but you thought I won the second time? You did win the second time, that's what I'm saying. So you think the machine was broken? The machines were broken, but that's what I'm saying.

You did win the second time. Okay. I hit like no saying. So you think the machine was broken? The machines were broken, but that's what I'm saying. You did win the second time. Okay. I Hit like no shots the second time. I wasn't sure where you landed because it sounded like to me in the store that you won both times. No, I lost the second time bad. Okay. The first time I think I did beat you. Okay, but the machines fucking broken. The scores were a little bit out of whack. It felt like they were not recording every basket on both machines. That's what I'm saying is like, okay, so- Even that is, even that is busted. Yeah. That's like the whole point of the game.

That's the whole point of the game. You're playing a person in the game and then it doesn't fucking work. It was very funny. Like, I mean, just how consistently you guys are, yourselves and the two of you as a dynamic in all settings off mic. I was like, I think we should play some games

before we leave because we can't really review the experience without doing that. And you were very wisely like, I think the problem this place has that like Dave and Buster's has as well is that like a lot of these games have just become scaled up iPhone apps. Yeah, it's just a big iPhone, it's just an LCD TV that's being used as a mobile screen.

And it's a Fruit Ninja or whatever. Yeah, exactly. And I was like, I don't want to do any of that. And I very much on brand for myself was like, I'm going to try to play all the high ticket games, the things where you drop coins and try to hit the bonus prize or whatever. My goal was just like, can I hit a jackpot on something,

win a bunch of tickets and test what I can score? You seem to be doing well, but the ticket ROI is so nerfed. It was insane. I kept thinking, at no point was I like, I killed it on this, but I kept thinking I was doing pretty good. like, I killed it on this, but I kept thinking I was doing pretty good and basically every game gave me two tickets in return.

You guys immediately just went to anything competitive. The only games you played were ones that were head to head and then Mitch is like scoring buckets, complaining in real time. That it's not working, it wasn't. Immediately after the first round, storms off goes, it goes it's broken and all the listeners are gonna complain that of course I think it's broken The writers being like The do we to get mad at me for for pushing a cat on Amelia the fucking dweebs.

The dweebs who get mad at me for pushing a cat on Amelia, these same dweebs. I was just thinking about them being like, he ain't so competitive. But I'm gonna say this, Wiggs, I'm actually, the competitiveness, it is that, here's the nice spin on it, you give me the opportunity to win,

which I never get ever. So it's nice for me, and you don't care, and it's the nice spin on it. You give me the opportunity to win, which I never get ever So that's it's nice for me, and you don't care The score it was funny though So I just I imagined you like in your home by yourself stubbing your toe and being fucking Redditors complaining And it's just so clumsy stuff Immediately anything you do in any area of life. It's only there's it's like seven guys The red is good now. Yeah, the Reddit is good.

Second off, it's love week. It's love week. It's love week, we love the Reddit. We love the children, we love the Reddit. And then, hey, I loved doing a spirited game of pop a shot with you, that was fun. Yeah, it was not, it wasn't competitive. It was broken.

Yeah. But it was not, it was all in good faith. Amelia did pretty well on that as well. You were rocking the chess shot. Thank you very much. But there was no game I loved. I felt like, as you said, the return on tickets was pretty low.

I had some points saved up from the past, and I went and they were like, you have 1,100. And I was like, that sounds like a reasonably large number. That's like a lot of tickets. I don't assume I'm getting a PS3, but I assume there's something. And immediately, they're like, this corner only. This corner, a gap basket. And which was not a good corner.

And I'm like, this is like a fucking inflation. Yeah, really fucking bad. Like, ring pops are now 500 tickets or whatever. Everything's gone way up. So you were trying to make me happy. Biden was actually saying that ring pops are actually less expensive than they were. Like his economics team. Who was saying this?

Biden was saying this, yeah. Biden was saying that. That he brought the ring pops down. Yeah. Yeah. They were closer to 550 tickets earlier. People just forget that that actually they went down in ticket value.

My thing was, what do you say, Mitch? No, that's too much for a lot. Too many. Yeah. Yeah, it was way too much. Then I'm like, I don't have a lollipop that I'm in my house, I'm sucking Wally's dick. Thanks a lot, Biden. Now I have a Wally pop instead of a lollipop?

The Redditors are gonna talk about this. Yeah, oh, now I'm in trouble because I'm sucking my cat's dick. Jesus. Look, there's a lot of Monday morning. What a man enjoys Wally pop. There's a lot of Monday morning quarterbacking. There's a lot of Monday morning quarterbacking. There's a lot of Monday morning quarterbacking we can do to try to, like, after the fact, analyze how and why Trump won.

I do think his most effective piece of messaging was just telling the public, if you vote for me, you'll never have to suck your cat's dick in there. That was a promise that Biden was unwilling to make. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know what I was going to say, Wags? In the competitive world, we played It Takes Two with each other. Oh, yeah.

And there was a time where you team up and it was a button mash competition. Oh, yeah, yeah. I could never beat you. And we played it like five times. This guy's good with the, he's good with the joystick. The Twitch, like you can click a button that makes sense but yeah I went to the counter they were like only this can be cashed in yeah you were like you want to make baby happy if we could do a thing that lights up and I was like no I

just want stuff with Chuck on it right so this is the entirety of what I got quite a haul here I will say no I ended up getting a decent piece count, but like all of this is flat. How much do you think you spent to get to 1,100 tickets? I'll say this, I believe I put $25 on the card in terms of gameplay. How much did you put on, Amelia? We did the lowest amount.

Which was 30 points, and each game is one point. So we probably played between a couple of basketball games, skeeball, we probably used like eight to 10. And then between the three of us. But it was $25, right? Yeah, it was 24. Yeah, then you handed the card to me. So I had like a combined like $50 worth of cards.

I guess you would take in maybe 10 off of it. Sure. And there was a SpongeBob game that I've done very well with at Dave and Busters in the past. That's like a timing out where the coins go. And I just, SpongeBob game that I've done very well with at Dave and Buster's in the past. That's like a timing out where the coins go. And I just, I was like, okay, we need to leave to get to the studio. There's like 35 points left between the two cards.

Let me scan it 35 times. And then I can just kind of machine gun, like rapid fire the coins and assume just by button mash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get a decent score. And I came away from it gaining like 25 tickets. It was like less than the amount of plays I had. That sucks.

So it was like, yeah, like $40 basically of play to get this, which is just all very 2D and flat, right? You probably could have purchased for like the same quality items for less than $40. Like four stores. Like $5, honestly. The actual retail price of all of that stuff is it for less than $40. For sure. Like $5, honestly. The actual retail price of all of that stuff is not worth $3.

Right, these are party favorites. Yeah. And there were like a couple, there was something in the glass case called Goofy Monster glasses that you were really keen on. I was really interested in the Goofy Monster glasses. They were pretty funny. They were pretty funny.

But they were 800 points. They would have taken up the vast majority of what I had, and they weren't Chuck E branded. And I was like, I want Chuck E wares. But that sign was so you could also just buy it if you can if you want something you can also just buy it. How much were they charging for the sign? The sign was like Nick said $5,000 I think it was $40 extra thing was $80. Five thousand tickets yeah so it's like right yeah it would have been like it was basically ten dollars per000 tickets of value.

Yes. Right. So I had 1,000, and it would have cost $40 more to get it. This is like a color form set, I guess, with like vinyl clings on cardboard. And that's the new design of Chuck E. Cheese. This is the new Chuck, right, Ozempic Chuck. I got a Chuck E. puzzle.

Amelia was very helpful in gaming this out. She called this one out the sort of like neon, kind of black light Chucky sticker. This is like a foam tic-tac-toe game. Fun. And then I think I only had enough points left for four bookmarks. She kind of, I think had a sympathy gave the full set.

So we have the CGI redesigns of everybody of Munch. A Bella who I don't remember. Yeah, who the fuck is Bella? A bit of a Mary Sue if you ask me. Helen H. Bella, who I don't remember. Yeah, who the fuck is Bella? A bit of a Mary Sue, if you ask me. Chuck. Helen Haney, who's good. I do like Helen Haney. Pasquale and Jasper T. Jowls.

But this, I mean, I conservatively- I did ask her for Munch. I was like, do you have the Munch one? She's like, yeah, don't worry, we have Munch. She was kind of, I think she was done with us. I love dumb bullshit, and I would say this sucks. Like, I would say this all sucks. And our friend, Matt Singer, we have a tech chain with him.

That's right. Shitty tie-in food society where we talk about, especially like movie tie-in menu shit. And he's always complained to me as someone who has a bit of a garbage belly like us, takes his daughters to these places and he's just like, the kids meal toy quality has gone to nothing. How often you get shit like this, like paper products.

And I felt like, yeah, like the lowest point count case used to at least be like, I don't know, toy spiders or shit? Yeah, shitty little car or something. Right, yeah, it just felt like- Spider ring, you're right. That's a big one I remember, spider ring. Yeah, I just- Spider ring.

Yeah, yeah. Is there, if you got if you get, if you got the, the Fraggle Rock, the, the Fraggle Rock racers from McDonald's. Oh, come on. So was it the Tiny Toon ones that flipped or was it? Yeah. All right. So you got the Tiny Toon racers that flip. Right. You put that out. One side was one character, one side was the other character and the driver could change. If you put, if you put that, if you put that out now, is that like the best

Happy Meal toy in like 15 years? If you put that out tomorrow, it that the best Happy Meal toy in 15 years? If you put that out tomorrow, it would win best picture at the Oscar. No, I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I do think so. But it just speaks to what are we doing here if this place doesn't have good prizes and a fucking robot band playing pop songs? Also, if a little kid just got a bunch of bookmarks, do you think they're excited about that? No. What are they going're excited about that? No. What are they going to do with that?

I am because there's characters on them. I wasn't excited about that. What about other nonsense? I asked if there was a remote control cover instead of a bookmark. I'm not going to fucking use a Chuck E. Cheese bookmark. I'll take the munch one, though. Okay. I mean, it will fit the style of book I read for my next book. Hahahaha!

Prima Nintendo 64 strategy guide. For Oggarene of Time. We gotta get to our fork score. So, here's how this will work. Griffin, you know the drill. We'll each go around, we'll give our final thoughts on Chuck E. Cheese, and assign it a score from 0 to 5. Griffin, you're our guest. We'll begin with you. Yeah, this place kinda sucks. Yeah. I feel like our friends at Podcast The Ride have talked Chuck a lot over the years and there is a big pusher of like the full munch

band. I think there is one full animatronic band left in the world and it is might be in Northridge, California. Correct. Yeah. So I think he's done a birthday party for his son there has taken them there a couple of times and it's just like, why isn't this everywhere? You know? And these couple of isolated experiences I'd had with the pizza being like, have they stepped the quality up by 10% made me think, look, if I can just get this to a slightly better score,

it was worth doing. And I don't regret it because I don't think there was a better option on the table, but I don't think anything that happened today was impressive. I found it pretty depressing. The smell alone was hard to get past. Awful.

And I just like cannot please. Can I just quickly interject? You could have had the first episode of our Munch Madness tournament, which is the 10-year anniversary Munch Madness tournament. That's true. That was awkward. Every winner goes against each other,

or we could have done the diaper shop, which we did It was a little look Wags was like well, we don't have great restaurant options We could do the first bunch madness with you, but it's a little ahead of schedule So it might be tough to figure out what it was Yeah, and I just kind of felt like maybe Chuck E Cheese could be a sleeper surprise Yeah I think yeah like even if we had gone with the simpler order

and just gotten the cheese pizza and it ended up at like two and a half forks or whatever, I'd still be disappointed by the entertainment and the games and the smell and the inflation on the tickets. And I'm just like, second Five Nights at Freddy's movie is coming out later this year? What the fuck are they doing? How do you not lean into this?

Like in our text chain with Singer, we were trying to predict which chains we think are gonna do tie-ins with movies this year. And then you wrote a great piece about that. Yeah. And one of the end points of the piece was just like, if Chuck E. Cheese doesn't fucking own this, like just go like, you know what,

we're leaning into this in some way, then they should die. Like they should go out of business. Yeah. Yeah. What's your Forkscore? Forkscore. I have a lot of nostalgia for this place. I'm like, cheese, pizza, and soda alone, I think I would have given it like 2.5. But then I'm like, the smell, the quality of the games, the show, I'd like knock it down to a two. And then some of the other items were so bad.

We're like total, like one. Yeah. Orc shit. Yeah. I think I. You can be, oh, you it's okay if you like it more than us too. Yeah. I, I'm going to say this, I'm going to say this, The experience we had today was a 1.5 at best.

Wow. I'm gonna fold an experience I had in a year ago and say, even and out to- Past experiences count? Yeah, I'm gonna give it a 1.75. Wow, one fork, three tines. I wanted to do two and I couldn't get there. I wouldn't let myself say it.

Shout out to Father Tine, Matt Selman. Yeah, Father Tine. Integrated tines into our system. 1.75 forks, Mitch, what say you? Jemmy, by the way, stood up and she told me that she was upset that we said, son is more famous than dog. She still is upset about that from the other episode. Yeah.

We'll talk about that off-pod, Jamin. Sorry, sorry, Jamin. I think she was upset that you said you sucked Wally's dick. I've never sucked Wally's dick. It's a comedy show. Yeah, it's a comedy show. Man, this is Chuck E. Cheese. Well, first of all, we were up at the front,

Nick and I were up at the front, and we were like, do you think we should get a cheese pizza? Like, should we do it? And then a lady came up to us and was like, this isn't Comet Pink Hawk, by the way. We were like, okay, okay, good, that's good to know. Um, Chuckie, look, I have nostalgia for it. You did keep asking for directions to the basement. It is on the second floor, which is also kind of,

I guess it's better than being in the dungeon of the mall, which would be dark and grim. Ozempic Chuck, look, as a man who takes these drugs, but the slimifications happen to Chuck too. There's no charm to this guy. I just don't think he has any personality. There's something very like smarmy about him. It's the Dreamworks CG effect. That's that kind of character.

He's very shark tail. Yeah, he's like from Epic. Yes, cocked eyebrow bullshit. Or from the Fast Snail movie, of course, which is called Nitro. Nitro. Turbo. Nitro? Nitro. Nitro. Nitro. Nitro. The Fast Snail movie, Nitro. Nitro the snail. No Nitro merch there either. No Nitro. They were cleaned out of Nitro. Nitro. The fast snail movie Nitro. Nitro the snail. No Nitro merch there either.

No Nitro, they were cleaned out of Nitro merch. Yeah, it's a bummer. Is Chuck E. Cheese fun? It used to be. It used to be. I was also a kid. That's when a kid can be a kid. I'm not a kid anymore.

It's sad to say. I'm an adult. For a child, did it look fun? I mean, not really. It looked worse. It looked worse than it was. The kids there, one was crying. So it just, it seemed, it seemed depressing in there.

And God, look, we say thank you to your, thank you for your service to a lot of people that work at fast food and chain restaurants. your thank you for your service to a lot of people that work at fast food and chain restaurants. This is like gold star purple heart service to work at a Chuck E. Cheese. Yes. You're helping for kids. Yes. Honestly, even the guy who picked up our Pasquale's, I just thinking about how the poor Postmates guy had to walk into a Chuck E. Cheese to pick up this order.

I don't think they do them from Chuck E. Cheese because they don't allow pickup. Yeah. That's great. That's good if they don't do it. So you know what, to your point, let's thank some of those employees by name. Hydra Man. The Abyss. The Abyss.

Yeah. Abe Sapien. I think that someone, I meant to shout out earlier, who I saw preparing our wings in the kitchen, Pyacon, the mighty Tolcort Moon. That's right, yeah, yeah. And Pyacon, of course, said, these are coming fresh from my home planet of Pandora.

Yeah, yeah. Yes. And then I saw- The delivery. Well, I was gonna say, I saw the fire and ash tribe working on the meatballs. Yes. They were, yes, right, right, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Ash Navi. Yeah, it's a skimwing, an aleel. Pyakon also worked at S.M.A.R.R.O. Oh, that's right. So anyway, so- Mike Griff, what were you gonna say? T worked at Smurro. Oh, that's right. So anyway, so- Mike Griff, what were you gonna say? Tana Wari.

That's right, that's right. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cliff Curtis character. Mm-hmm. I wanted to have, look, I had fun. The four of us together, we were having fun. We had fun.

We had fun. We were having fun. We were having a good time. But almost in spite of. Definitely in spite of. It was the grimist, it was the most grim experience in maybe in Doughboys. Yeah.

I mean, we haven't talked to like a- What's that? I feel really confident about my decision to not go. You were smart not to go. It was a great move not to go. Like outside of like- Hey, we like a grimist experience. We do like a grimist experience, not a grimace.

Not a grimace experience. Outside of us reviewing funerals, I can't think of anything that's like worse. Can you, I mean- But Mitch, funerals tend to have pretty good food. They would have better food than this. They would have a good spread. And a lot of times there's celebration

of someone who's lived a nice long life. Versus this being like a living funeral for Chuck. Right. You know? Like is he still alive? He's on display, the eyes are moving but no one's home. Yeah. I, the pizza, the cheese pizza was a life raft.

It was just for me, it was a miserable experience. And also if I was an adult, bring my kid there. I'd be like, this sucks. It's like I would want to get my kid out of there faster than than I would want to say. And I know maybe if the kid loved it, but I don't know. I also make I made this point to Wiggs earlier. My my little nine year old cousin loves Dave and Buster's. I take him to go see movies.

He wants to go to Dave and Buster's all the time. And it's made me realize, like, if you're a kid, why would you choose Chuck E. Cheese over Dave and Buster's all the time. And it's made me realize, like, if you're a kid, why would you choose Chuck E. Cheese over Dave and Buster's? No reason. No reason. The lane they should be owning is like the shit that Dave and Buster's wouldn't do because it's like dorky and babyish. Yes, right.

They should lean into the history and the characters and the band and all that sort of shit. And maybe during prime time, maybe during evening hours, they have a walk around mascot character. I'm not sure if they did. He certainly was not a presence today. But like 85, 80% of the games between the two of them are basically the same.

The food's better at Dave and Buster's. 100%, they have cocktails there. It appeals more to adults, but like kids have fun at a Dave and Buster's. Yeah, I would have so much fun if we all went to a Dave and, way, way, we would have had a blast. We would have had one of the best Dave and Buster's I'll say, is fun.

Chuck E. Cheese, not fun for me. It's hard for me to... It's hard. Man, I'm going half fork. Half a fork. Yeah. So for me, it's one of, it's up there with caros, right? I mean, like, this sucks.

It was really bad food. So Mitch, your score has actually gone up because I believe last time you gave it a negative four. Oh my God. Oh my God. I, so I did succeed in bumping the score. You did, it worked. I will say that first, one thing I do want to correct

and shout out to Vinod who runs the Doughboyz Wiki. I said it was the cock, what did I say? It was a cock knocker chicken sandwich, it was a cock smoker chicken sandwich from movies That was the origin of the $30. Oh, wow. Anyway the and also I will say this I think that the pizza actually the cheese pizza. I think you were right was better this time than when I Think that but everything else has gotten really bad. We didn't try anything from the salad bar, right? We didn't yeah, which I probably, I think, I feel like

that's where you're gonna get a foodborne at this. That was the thing, we had the wings on the plate and you pointed and you were like, I don't think any of us should touch the celery. Yes, because you just don't know. Did you see that there was- You're more likely to get sick from underwashed produce than from undercooked meat.

Did you see that there were adults in there and they had a veggie tray and it was just fucking ranched out. Did you see it? It was like, it was the most ranch I've ever seen on a plate. Wow. It was, I kind of loved it. So the Pascuali's pizza was comparable

to the pizza we had in restaurant. I'm not sure if we learned much from that exercise outside of it just traveling and basically being the same. Susser as he was leaving flashed two fingers at me to let me know not peace, but that he's giving two forks to the Pascuali's experience in the same. Susser as he was leaving flashed two fingers at me to let me know not peace, but that he's giving two forks to the Pasquale's experience in the studio. So he is going higher than us.

He's going higher than us, but the thing he missed- But just in getting it on it's not being there. That's the thing, the thing he missed is the experiential side. And what I will compare this to, Mitch, is Pirate's Dinner Adventure, where Pirate's Dinner Adventure, the food was exagrable. In fact, I'd say the food was maybe worse

than the food at Chuck E. Cheese's. I think it was just so fucking bad. There was nothing that I liked. But the show was awesome, and the atmosphere was great, and there were cocktails, and I didn't feel uncomfortable or creepy by my presence, even though it was something targeted at children. I was screwed up by you.

And you kept asking for socks. They were the best. Yeah. This place. You had to, the fact that you had to buy, Chankton said you had to buy your kids socks when you go. You're just, they're just like looking for upcharges everywhere, like fucking everything these days.

Every single place, like how do we get every single dime out of everybody? More expensive for worse service. Exactly, exactly. Absolutely everything. It's exactly, absolutely everything. It's all just eroding. It's all just getting shakier. Amelia, what would be your Fork score for this experience?

Oh man, it was a really bleak experience. Yeah, it was really bad. It felt like I was in the back rooms. And it almost felt like it was- Is that the internet thing? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It felt haunted.

Yeah, it did. It really, the vibes were putrid in there. It unintentionally feels like a Five Nights at Freddy's. It does. Yeah. Without owning any of the kind of like shine of that. Yeah. I would give it half a star. You'd give it half a star and we'd do four.

Half a star. Oh, wow. We do fours. By the way, Amelia is currently wearing a five-fork sweatsuit. All right, Amelia. I admire it. I mean, it's very funny.

Amelia, can you also, can you give the online theory that you told us about, and then we thought that it maybe happened with the Pasquale's pizza. Oh yeah. There's a conspiracy theory online that Chuck E. Cheese takes old slices of pizza and puts them together to form a full pie out of it, and that's why a lot of the time the slices look so hodgepodge. The puzzle pieces don't fit together. Which wasn't the case at Chuck E. Cheese's, but was the case when we got Pasquale's delivered.

Yeah, I mean, like I understand where the thing in Governor's was, I'd buy that more if there was an in-store pizza buffet, because then we'd have a source of it. Which my memory is they used to have that. They used to have it, and maybe they still have it at some locations, and hey, maybe the Ghost Kitchen one we got delivered from does have that.

Although I think Emma's right, I think they're made at offsite kitchens. I don't think they're actually made in-store anymore. But it was weird where you're just like, I don't even understand how the pizza becomes this asymmetrical. Yes, yeah. Yeah.

Weird. I don't know, I think it's just, they probably just can make everything so cheaply now that it's not even worth the trouble to do that. But I would say overall, I was just extremely uncomfortable. I hated being there, it was awful, it smelled so bad. I felt really uncomfortable. The food was pretty awful.

I'm sorry. No, I felt really uncomfortable. The food was pretty awful. I'm sorry. No, I had a great time. Like, I liked being with my friends. Me too, I like that part too. But the overall, like, just being inside a stench coffin as an adult without children, like in a place that is designed

for families, a place that is designed for like, hey, you know what, the parents will find a way to occupy themselves maybe by just having an Amstel light just to numb the pain while their kids run around and do some bullshit. Like that's the reason this place exists. Any sort of novelty that could exist for our generation, like the animatronics has been completely neutered,

has been almost completely excised, in some cases, just fully removed from these locations. So it just has no charm anymore. And so what you're left with is a restaurant that smells horrible, where the food sucks, and where there's nothing to do. For me, if that's not a one fork experience, I don't know what it is.

This is a one forker. And I think, Mitch, we had a thing that we talked that I actually found out about, again, was reminded of when I looked at the movies, Wiki, we had the broken plate club, which is for, for things that got underneath, you know, average under one fork or one fork or less. I think we had the toilet club at a certain point,

what the fuck was it? Porcelain club? Porcelain club, yes. We gotta standardize what it is. Broken plate club's pretty good. All right, so I think we're bringing back the broken plate club. I think canonically, Chuck E. Cheese

belongs in the broken plate club. Because I just don't, I don't think this place has anything to offer for somebody who doesn't have young children who are easily. Yeah, and if you have young children, there are better options. There are better options, yes. It makes me sad. A disappointing experience.

A place that I did, I like the idea of it. I used to like it. It makes me sad to say it's in the place that I did, I like the idea of it. I used to like it. It makes me sad to say it's in the Broken Play Club. There's no denying it. There's no denying it. And there's no denying it's worse than it was. Even if the pizza's a little better than it was like six years ago or whatever,

it's like holistically this place is worse than it's ever been. And I also think it's telling that Suss went higher than any of us who were there in person. Right. While also admitting the pizza wasn't good. And part of that I feel like is him adjusting in his mind, like on a curve,

well, I didn't get the complete experience. I guess if you were there amidst the fun, it'd be like a two. And those of us who went were like, the experience made us like the pizza less. 100%. Yeah, absolutely. He should have eaten his slice in the headgum bathroom

with me taking a shit as he ate it. That's the only way that it would be close. And Ryger just like button mashing a cellphone game. I mean, that is the equivalent, right? I mean, that's not that crazy. It's not that far off. Let's just say it. I don't know.

I have not accompanied you guys to many meals, but I've listened to every episode of this show. I don't know if I've ever heard you describe an impediment to the enjoyment of a meal as bad and sort of like all consuming as the stench of this place. There was no way to get past that. As soon as you walked in, it was just like ugh.

The notion of like you walk in and you're like, I'm gonna have to eat stuff. I'm gonna have to touch food and put it in my mouth here. It was like going into a bathroom that smells bad and you wanna get out of there quick. And you're stuck there. That's what it was like. That's what it's like, yeah.

It's disgusting. It's disgusting. But I think it is nice that they gave a job to print Cyton from Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild. Okay, hey, that was our review of Chuck E. Cheese. Hey, it's time for a segment. Should we do a quick stop down? All right, we're gonna do a quick stop down.

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Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. I'm participating in restaurants for a limited time. -♪ Hey, buddy, we're back. It's time for a segment, and since it's Love Week, we thought we'd bring it back and make this into an annual tradition. It's time for another edition of the Chooleywed Game.

Wow. Wow. Okay, so here's how this will work. Mitch, you and I will be paired as a team against Griffin and his surprise partner live from New York, Blank Check co-host David Sims. Wow! Oh my God. As I put on my headphones.

There we go. God. Hi, Simsie. Hi, guys. How you doing? Thanks so much for making time for us. Of course, we are about an hour later than we said we'd be.

Please. One day I will share the text Amelia has been sending me of like, it's gonna be like seven, okay, like 7.15, look 715 just on and It's 830 now your time Right Wow live from New York. I love this. Yeah musical guest Ben Hosley

Sims any any NBA trade deadline thoughts from this episode will be out in a week But we're recording is basically the day of the trade deadline. I shared a bunch I don't know what there's left for you to say. Jimmy Butler to the Warriors, looks like. Jimmy Butler to the Warriors, we just found out. How fun is that? I wanted Durant to go to the Warriors because I want the Warriors to become the over 35 Legends team. It's like a road show tour. I think I've expressed this thought to you, Nick. And Butler, it's fine.

They'll be a little more fun. But I think they're going to be a little more fun. I think they're going to be a little more fun. But I think they're going's like a road show tour. I think I've expressed this thought to you, Nick. And Butler, it's fine, they'll be a little more fun. I don't care about the Warriors. I'm intrigued by the weird Bucks trade, that was awful. But yeah, at least it's something, it's a fun deadline. It's been a weird season, so it's a fun deadline. It is a fun deadline.

It's been a weird season, so it's a fun deadline. The Luca thing is weird. Luca thing's bizarre. You gotta be happy about your Knicks in general, though. What a fun team. I'm happy about them. You may know? Okay.

No, I am. It's just, I don't know what to do about a good vibes Knicks team that's just kind of rolling. Like where I'm just sort of like, well then okay, when will the hammer fall? I just am waiting for the misery. If Charlie Brown gets the red haired girl, the little red haired girl,

then does anyone still want to read the strip, you know? That's 100%. Yeah. I mean, I really want to read that strip. It's disgusting. I forgot that they're children. I forgot they're children. I forgot they're children. Children.

Kids. David, what did you make for dinner? Oh, I made something disgusting on the Chuck E. Cheese episode. Sorry, what did I made? Charlie Brown rule 34. That's child porn. I didn't make it. Hey, drawings ain't got no wage, all right? I

Made the chili chips chili crisp fettuccine alfredo from the New York Times make it all the time takes like 20 minutes to make How do you recommend? Wow how many a fast meal? How many people did you make it for? Me and my wife just the two of you. Oh, so you had one half portion? My daughter ate six spoonfuls of hummus for dinner, so fun. What do you think of that? I love it. Sounds like quite a meal. What it was? How do you, how is this, it's a quick dinner you're saying? It's very quick? Yeah, it's like 20 minutes. It's really, it's, it is, it's on the Times. It's one of their most popular recipes. I do. It is good. Will you forward to me that recipe? And also, will you forward me your New York Times login information as well? I have a post login, New York Post login,

but I don't have the Times login. Of course. Just to comment. Just for the comments. Mitch wants to catch up on David Brooks' columns as well. Yeah. OK, Amelia, you're going to run this. All right, hit it, Emma.

For You Recorded from Silver Lake, it's the Chooley Wed game. I'm your host, Amelia Marino. And now, let's meet our contestants for today. Couple number one, Friends for 12 Years and co-hosts on Blake Check for 10, we have Griffin Newman and David Sims. Wow.

Couple number two, friends for 19 years and co-hosts on Doughboys for 10, we have Nick Weiger and Mike Mitchell. Hey buddy, wow. 19 years. That doesn't sound right. It's a long time. Is it not right?

No, I mean, I think it is right. Just like that's not gonna happen. Does one year sound right, hopefully? Our chili-weds might be in for a surprise when they find out how much they dough or dough not know each other. Now for the rules. I'll ask a round of questions about your partner. It's important that you answer the questions as you predict your partner will answer that

same question. For example, if I ask Mitch and Griffin, what's your partner's favorite pizza topping? They'll write down on the whiteboard that I have here what they think Nick and David's favorite pizza topping is. Nick and David will write down on these their own favorite pizza topping, and we'll turn around the boards. If the answer matches the prediction, you get a point.

Each point brings you closer to the grand prize of nothing. Wow. Wow. Nothing. Let's start. I'll hand off the board. I was a little worried because this episode's already going long, but thankfully we have a nice tight segment. So we got boards, huh? This is fancy. Yeah. How about this? Thank you. You guys have to share my Thank you. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Did we buy these for the Chilliwag game? Yeah. Yeah, last time we did it. Wow.

Oh, these are from last time we did it? They've been in the storage room for over a year. I like the Warriors Extended Butler. They gave me two years, 121 mil. Okay. It's crazy, desperate. Yeah, that really does seem desperate. I'm holding the board in front of my mic,

probably not a good move. All right, let's keep this tight. It's gonna naturally gonna be in front of your mic. That's pretty good. Hey, you know what, I love you, Wax. I love you too, buddy. All right, question number one. This is for Mitch and Griffin.

What is your partner's go-to movie snack? So we don't have to leave the room for this? No. Okay, got it. Okay. So you're guessing- Wait, I'm sorry. Say it one more time. We're guessing for, who's guessing? I'm asking Mitch and Griffin.

Okay. What is your partner's go-to movie snack? Okay, so I'm guessing David. You'll write down David's. Yeah. Go ahead. Amelia, should I write my answer down as well? We write our actual answer?

Yes. Okay, got it. Okay. All right, so WIGES and Sims are writing an answer. And we're trying to guess what they're gonna write down. They're writing down their GoToMoviesnack on the board, and you and Griffin are writing down what you think their go-to movie snack is.

I'll hand you these reference. So wait, I'm- A lot of answers. He's guessing. He's guessing your answer. He's getting ready to guess what you're about to- I'm writing my real answer. I guess you could just say yours out loud, but- No, but it's better to write it down,

because then, yeah. Oh, shit. yours out loud but no it's not it's better to write it down because then yeah oh shit well are you ready I might I might write I might write something else down all right I thought two markers wouldn't be a big deal. Maybe it is. All right, Griffin. Yeah, Griffin, what was your prediction? I wrote down popcorn. Let's see it, David. Nachos, baby. Wow. Can I talk through my thought process very quickly?

Yes, Griff, you can. Because obviously I have popcorn at the movies all the time. It's a very normal answer. The answer that came to me first was nachos. Right. And then I went, wait a second, is that Weiger's favorite movie snack?

Yeah. Am I confusing Weiger and Sims? Yeah. And I over guessed it and then I went to popcorn. That will happen in the chili-wed game. You'll overthink the correct answer out of existence. Also people will confuse the other person's spouse. That's true, That will happen.

Yes. I'm going to say this. I love those nachos. No, go ahead, Mitch. The nachos are great, and I think that Wags' answer is the nachos. And Hollywood Handbook is glaring at us through the glass door, because we've

gone way over our studio time. I'm also supposed to be on that episode with them. When are you supposed to start? Like 15 minutes ago. You need to leave? I think we're doing two episodes. Okay. Why don't you leave after the segment,

and then we'll do the question without you. Um, it will be my first answer, but it's big soda, and then maybe a dog is what I thought. Like, I think your answer is going to be nachos. Well, here's the thing. I didn't realize that drinks were on the table, because if they were, I would have written big soda. But instead, I went with what I usually get,

which is nothing. That is insane. I mean, that is honestly, this is- That is a Nick Ants, yeah. But that's why I said big soda, because I was like, he doesn't really get food. I don't usually have a snack. I sometimes will have nachos.

I thought about writing nachos, but I think that's a good guess match. Nothing. Big soda was what I was like. Big soda is the closest to something I get in a really routine way. That is what you would get. Yeah, for sure. So we don't get a point was what I was like. Big Soda's the closest to something I get routinely. That is what you would get. Yeah, for sure.

So we don't get a point, but I was right. Yeah, you were right. This next question is for Nick and Sims. Okay. If your partner had to pick one movie to describe your relationship, which movie would it be? Describe our relationship? Yeah.

Ooh. Oh my goodness. Ooh, this is a tough one. This is good. By the way, Handles very kindly is sending us ice cream. And the most we've ever discussed anything in the Doughboyz chain was discussing how to get the Handles ice cream.

How to get the most out of this ask. It took like two hours for us to collectively write an email. We drafted like five iterations. You guys didn't see it, but on a side text chat, I said, let's fire Emma and Amelia. Just for the ice cream. But only after the ice cream has shipped. So I'm guessing a movie Mitch would pick

to describe our relationship. Correct. Answer the question as you predict. Your partner will answer it. This is tricky. And just to clarify, it's like the movie that represents the dynamic, not the movie that's most important to your relationship,

right? I think that's up to you. Yeah, I mean, to best describes your relationship, I feel like it is like the what, yeah, the vibe of your relationship is also the vibe of this movie maybe. Okay. That's what I put.

Griffin, what the hell do you put I? Saw your This is tricky, but I I'm gonna take a guess here David I'll say this in the last four months I have said on Mike that this is the clearest representation of our dynamic in movies Like and it's well, okay, go ahead. Yes. Yes away. Yes away Smartie like in movies. Like, and it's well, okay, go ahead. Guess away, guess away. Dumb and dumber, no, I'm just kidding. I mean, that's pretty good.

All right, Sims, are you ready? No, Nick and Weiger should go first. I'm just, I'm pondering. Nick and Weiger, what the hell? Nick and Mitch, Jesus, it's late. It's way too late. Look, I think Wags would maybe put like of Mice and Men or something. Yeah.

But I'm gonna put- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I think Wags has to reveal first. Okay, so here's the thing. This is a struggle, because I had some ideas. I ultimately opted for what I know is Mitch's favorite movie or one of his favorite movies, which I think does have some Mitch Weiger dynamics

within it, Goodfellas. Very interesting. I don't think it's the answer though. I don't think it's what you picked. I think the thing that best describes it does have some Mitch Weiger dynamics within it. Goodfellas. Very interesting. I don't think it's the answer though. I don't think it's what you picked. I think the thing that best describes Weiger and my relationship, we talked about early in the episode, is autofocus. I almost wrote autofocus.

I was so close to writing autofocus. Ah, I overthought it. It's a movie we've covered in the last six months or so. I put Midnight Run, but I could not really, really, really think of what this answer is. Well, now I feel bad. Yeah, because I feel like- I'm DeNiro and you're Groden.

Sure, I led you astray. I guess. Because I did, there was a misunderstanding. I said, I said this on mic. It was not a movie we covered, which I feel like misdirected. Griffin, I assumed that was true, but I was at sea, so I just went for that.

No, it's fine. I will say the movie I picked is the same dynamic you're true, but I was at sea so I just went no it's fine I will say the movie I picked is the same dynamic you're describing, but I think it's the most extreme representation of it I'm excited Wow Shrek Shrek is pretty good David is Shrek and I'm donkey yeah sure I can absolutely see we also have we it could work for us Yeah, but I was talking to David. I want get on my swamp The Shrek is very true. Shrek and human Shrek, what's the dynamic? What the fuck?

I'm Shrek your human Shrek? Fucking bullshit. All right, I think this next one might have to be the last round. We're both tied at zero. No, no, come on now. All right, for Mitch and Griffin, if your partner could replace any actor in a movie,

which role would they take? Wait, I'm sorry. So they're guessing what we would think for a role that we would play in a movie. Yes. Could replace any actor in a movie. I'm having trouble even wrapping my head around this. I'll do this.

Mitch, if Weiger could replace any actor in a movie, which role would he take? Okay. And then Griffin, if Sims could replace any actor in a movie, which role would he take? Okay. And then Griffin. Yeah. If Sims could replace any actor in a movie, which role would he take?

I have an answer. It would be insane if Griffin could guess this, because this is essentially a new question. Do you have an answer in mind already? I don't, I'm thinking. Eh. I have an answer. So, so Weiger, you're writing down the role that you would do.

Yes. You got it, you're, oh, is everyone ready? I have an answer. I have an answer as well. All right, let's see it, Wigz. Hold on, hold on. I go first? No, I go first.

Oh, sorry. Fuck. So for my answer, I, answer, this is the first one that popped into my head. Yeah. And it's maybe not fair, but I think this is, I think you think I would say this. I said Dustin Hoffman and Rain Man.

It's pretty good. We were in the same ballpark, cause I guess Lobot in the Empire Strikes Back. That's pretty fucking good too. Yeah. Fuck. Maybe a half point for, too. Yeah. Fuck. Maybe a half point for that one. We were close, but-

We were close. I can't believe I didn't get autofocus. I feel fucking stupid. Griffin, are you ready to reveal? Yeah. I can't believe you didn't get this, honestly. I took a big swing, and I don't know if I can even explain it.

I wrote Renee Zellweger and Jerry Maguire. Wow. That's a great answer. That's a great answer. I'm Renee Zellweger and Jerry Maguire. Wow. Great answer. That's a great answer. I'm not totally off, right? No, I thought about Cruz and Jerry Maguire in particular. He's so stressed out in that movie. That's my thing. I was like, I don't think you want to be him. I think she's more the energy you want even though she's going through her own struggles. Yeah. She does have her own struggles. I tried to think of any movie where someone gets to kiss Colin Farrell Actually, yeah, but none of them felt like a perfect fit. Yes, I put

Russell Crowe and Master and Commander Yeah, just get me on the sea, you know get me on the siege just with my boys But I don't know. I don't know. There's a lot of answers that would make sense there Definitely the all-time dad cannon, Master and Commander. Oh yeah, get me a 4K. I have a new answer. Behind me.

All right, so Mitch is changing his answer. I think Wagsrey, William Defoe, and Otto Focus. This is getting me hot. Oh boy. Amelia, let's do more. Make Sean wait. All right, all right. This next question is for Nick and Sims. Okay, so we're guessing for Mitch and Griffin.

Yeah. Got it. Who is your partner's celebrity crush from a movie? Well. I guess current celebrity crush from a movie. Okay, current celebrity. Or like. That clarifies it. Is it current? Yeah, sure, let celebrity crush from a movie. Okay, current celebrity, that clarifies it. Is it current? Yeah, sure, let's do current if it helps people.

Well, because I feel like you've talked about celebrity crushes as a kid versus a teenager. I think I know, I think I know what it is. We're saying like Hall of Fame or we're saying recent. I think, what I heard was current, right? Is that what you're going with? Sure, yeah. And are we saying like, are we naming the actor,

the actor in a specific movie, the character? I think the actor. Okay, have you're going with? Sure. Are we naming the actor? The actor in a specific movie? The character? I think the actor. Okay. Have you written that down? No. I actually, I think it's up to interpretation. Okay. I made my interpretation.

I feel pretty confident. I just want Sims to score a point here and I think this one is gettable. Googling people? Yeah. I got it. I'm trying to think of what- So Mitch and Griffin, you're writing down your own name. You're writing down your name.

You're writing down your name. You're writing down your name. You're writing down your name. You're writing down your name. You're writing down your name. You're writing down your name. You're writing down your name. You're writing down your name. You're writing down your name. Google. Google. Google. Google. Google. Google. Google. Google.

Google. Google. Google. Google. Google. Google. Google. Google.

Google. Google. Google. Google. Google. Google. Google. Google.

Google. Google. Google. Google. Google. everybody from the movie Amelia Perez, Selena Gomez. Let's see it, Mitch. And I would like to reveal to my friend Nick Weiger that he was right. No! Good answer, Weiger. You get a point. OK, David, come on. I feel, I mean, I think unless it's change Griffin. It's Sir. Sheronan

Now you guys are tied. Wow. How much time you got? Let's just do one last. Wanna do one tiebreaker? Yeah, let's do a tiebreaker. We have to. If your partner could, so this should go to...

Me and Griff. Okay. Mitch and Griff, if your partner could live in any movie universe, which one would they choose? Okay. And once again, specific movie, pick one title. Movie universe. So I guess there could be multiple movies from this universe if that exists, as long as it's the same universe. All right, I got an answer. And I'm guessing Sims is here. Yes, and then Nick and Sims,

you're putting down your own thoughts on what movie universe you would wanna live in. Yeah, okay. Okay. All right. Can I reveal? Yeah. I think that maybe you thought I would say like Pleasantville

or something, but I went with a autofocus universe. Mitch, I wish I'd written down autofocus universe. I was thinking it. Unfortunately, I had to go with what was in my heart, despicable me. Oh my god, of course. Of course. My guess was we were going to pick Avatar. I thought about Avatar as well, but then I thought that thought Mitch might out like overthink it and not put an avatar All right, should have you gone with autofocus. It's always autofocus I might have been a little sneaky here and going pretty broad in the tent

I pitched but I wrote down studio G. Oh, wow Great answer. Oh, yeah, give me that food. I wrote down the Matrix, plug me in baby. Get me out of this room. It was one or the other, it had to be one or the other. Fuck, we gotta do a double tiebreaker. What's the next question? Oh no, we gotta do more. All right, all right, all right.

I did this one. I was gonna say that was a good one. All right, this one's for Nick and Sims. Okay. Rank the Star Wars movies in order of your partner's favorite to least favorite. All nine? All nine canonical movies? Or are we including...

Should I pick a shorter question? Maybe you pick your partner's top three. There you go. No, that's too easy. Too easy? I say all nine. Okay, all nine. But we're not ranking the spinoffs.

We're not ranking Solo. We're not ranking Rogue One. Okay, got it. And then the closest wins. That's how's that. Just Skywalker Saga? All nine. The spin-offs, we're not ranking solo, we're not ranking rogue one. This is the classic. And then the closest wins, that's how's that. Just Skywalker Saga? All nine. The Skywalker Saga, yeah. I regret picking the most complicated question

for this last one. So, Mitch, you need to be writing your sound. I will as soon as that. Oh yeah, you don't have a marker, that's right. Griff, I thought that at first, but that doesn't matter. You were just numbering them and I was like, what? We'll fast forward this in the edit. Yeah.

This is what? The silent... The silent scribbling. Maybe we'll put some music in it, a little music bag. Maybe that can do it. Maybe some little Jeopardy music. Yeah, sure. The wedding music?

That's the new one. Yeah, sure. The wedding music? That's the new one. The theme song. This is insane the way this is being written out. This is taking me 30 seconds. I'm just going to put the numbers. I should have just put the numbers down, but I'm writing.

I started committed to writing out titles. Griff is changing his mind. So to reiterate, Mitch and Griff, you're writing down your own favorite order. Okay. I got this. I can do this in five seconds once I get a marker from one of these two freaks. Hold on, hold on. I'm almost done. You're running out of full titles?

No, I was trying to decode words, but I went back and forth between one word and... Oh, you got a marker. Okay. ...abbreviations. Yeah. I'm fairly confident, but there's a couple I think I maybe have flip-flopped. So we're seeing most out of nine matched wins. Yeah.

This is very high stakes. Yes. And it's going to lead to very normal emotional reactions. The best way to end the episode on a calm and pleasant note in honor of love. Hey, you know what? For love month, I think the fans love a little extra content. There you go. I also said love month is lovely. Might as well be a month at this point.

All right, here we go. I'm done. All right, Mitch. All right, so how are we revealing this, Amelia? That is a great question. Nick and Mitch, you want to go first? OK, great. All right.

Here, I'll give what I believe to be Mitch's rankings. Mitch, you want to just turn yours around, and why are you can read yours? Number one, Return of the Jedi, episode six. Number two, The Empire Strikes Back, episode five. Number three, Star Wars, episode four, aka New Hope. Number four, Phantom Menace, episode one. Number five, Revenge of the Sith, episode three.

Number six, Attack of the Clone, episode two. Number seven, Rise of Skywalker, episode nine. Number eight, Force Awak Sith, episode three. Number six, Attack of the Clone, episode two. Number seven, Rise of Skywalker, episode nine. Number eight, Force Awakens, episode seven. And number nine, Last Jedi, episode eight. He's almost exactly right. What did I get wrong? The only thing I got wrong is four and five are flipped. Oh, man. I thought you liked Empire more.

Wow. Pretty good. Eight out of nine. That's not bad. Griff, am I going to beat that? I'm worried. Seven out of nine. Honestly, I was four and five I was flipping back and forth on. Wow, you guys really love each other.

Talk about Star Wars and jacking off. Thank you. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. My good friend Rain Man. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Strokes and Snokes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Strokes and Snokes. David? All right, here we go. I had you as here.

I've got it here for posterity. Can you flip Griffin so we can monitor? Yeah. Oh yeah. Number five, Empire Strikes Back. Number four, Star Wars. Number six, Return of the Jedi. Episode eight, The Last Jedi. Episode 7, Force Awakens.

Episode 1, Phantom Menace. Episode 2, Attack of the Clones. Episode 3, Revenge of the Sith. And at the bottom, Rise of Skywalker. Episode 9. Was that 3 out of 7? You fucked me! I had Star Wars number 1, which has always been my ranking.

Since the beginning of this contest. That's the one I couldn't remember, yes. Number two, Empire, number three, Last Jedi, number four, Return of the Jedi, number five, Phantom. You have Last Jedi over Return. I do, number six, Force Awakens, number seven, Clones, eight, Sith, nine, Skywalker. Wow.

You have Phantom over Force Awakens. Where the fuck is Last Jedi? Get the fuck out of here. Episode over. Get the fuck out. Get out. Honestly, Griff, I think I did my ranking, basically. Yeah, I think you did. This is my ranking, essentially.

Wait, what's your ranking? No, you're not going to like it. All right. Don't worry about it. Well, congratulations to Nick and Mitch. You won the Chuy Wey game. I think you're undefeated in every single time. Hey, all right, two pretty good so far.

We know way too much about each other. Also, we got two questions right, but pretty good. And mostly just wrote autofocus over it. Griffin, I know you got to do Handbook. Thank you so much for going so long. No, please, my pleasure. And should we get you out of here? Should you do your plugs and we can do a question?

Or do you want to stick around? Kind of want to stick around. OK. At this point, I'm just going to say, if Handbook is mad at anyone, Should we get you out of here? Should you do your plugs and we can do a question? Or do you want to stick around? Kind of want to stick around. Okay. All right. At this point, I'm just going to say, if Handbook is mad at anyone, they can't be mad at us because we offered to get you out of here. Yeah, Simms, will you text Sean and ask how he's doing?

I'll send him my Cinematrix score. I should have put Autofocus above episode, like at the top of my Star Wars list. That's not funny. Hey, that was a Chew-Loo again. Thank you, Amelia. Thank you for bringing that together. Very well done.

Just like a restaurant, evaluate your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. Oh, Sims, do you need to go? I guess I'll go. I mean, you want to answer the question. Do you want to answer the question? Sims, you can hang. I'll stay for the question.

Here I am. Just like a restaurant, evaluate your feedback. Let's open up the feedback. We have a voicemail today. Let's take a listen. Hi, this is Kevin, a longtime listener. I'm also a lifelong surfer, why, because you get it. And I love the idea for the segment, Thirst Responder.

I gotta say that when I get out of the water after an early morning surf, I love reaching for my yeti thermos of a coffee and taking a sip of that hot coffee while I'm still in my wetsuit before I've started changing into my street clothes. Love that. So yeah, what would be your preferred post surf beverage?

Later. Can I just say that was kind of a hot question. Really was. Great energy from Kevin. Yeah, it was a hunk. Post surf beverage. Post surf beverage. And I think a lot of times if you're a surfer,

you're going out, when the surf is good, you're going out very early. When the water's maybe a little bit cold, it's a little bit brisk out. So yeah, hot beverage might do you right. My issue is that coffee can sometimes be a little dehydrating, so I would worry, even though I especially love morning coffee,

I'd be worried about a sip of coffee after I've done some physical exertion. So I'd worry, even though as much as I love morning coffee, I'd be worried about like a sip of coffee after I've done some physical exertion. So I'd lean more towards, I kind of honestly feel like I'd want like a Gator Lite, like a Gator Lite Zero, because I don't want to have sugar. Like then I'm just being actively counterproductive, but I do want to get something to get my electrolytes back,

and I feel like that approximates kind of like a morning beverage. I think that's probably, that'd probably be what I'd lean late into. I feel like if I'm, if I've been surfing, which I often am, I've been riding some tasty waves. Sure, yeah. Doing rip curls.

Yeah. Right? This all sounds right to me. Yeah, I wanna calm the waves inside my stomach, which is why I would reach for a packet of AG-1. Wow. And pour that bad boy straight into the ocean, grab a straw and start slurping away.

Wow. AG1. AG1. AG1. I'm like, what an answer. Yeah, pretty good. I read that they're trying to get bigger sponsors on board. They're going after like major celebrities

and I don't want them to stop sponsoring Blank Check. So now I decide I'm gonna start pushing it everywhere. Well guess what? You get so excited to do these ads. It makes I decide I'm gonna start pushing it everywhere. Well guess what? I get so excited to do these ads. It makes me so happy. It's my favorite product. They stop sponsoring old doughboys, I'll say that much. But let's, maybe not, maybe they'll come back. Sims, let's hear your answer. I'm a pink lemonade guy. I love pink lemonade brands.

I do want to say that I also, my water bottle of choice is a NIAID branded water bottle that Netflix sent me a couple years ago and I've never let go of. So I've always got NIAID on the brain. Remember NIAID? NIAID. That's a great answer. A pink lemonade is just a great, what a refreshing answer.

Love a pink lemonade. Love that. Look, I just dominated the element of water while I was surfing. Yeah, sure. And then what a better way to dominate with a glacier freeze. Now you're really dominating it.

You know what I'm saying? A Gatorade glacier freeze is my answer. Uh, uh, it goes along with the water. I think it's the most, I think it's the most refreshing per post workout. Unless honestly, the answer is just water. A very cold water can be great after you worked out,

but why is it Gator Lite is a good answer? And I know that Gatorade is very syrupy, but Glacier Freeze, can you beat that? Yeah, I mean, when you talk about dominating the water, I'm thinking of like, again, I'm thinking about the poachers who are threatening a Pyakon and the other Mighty Tolkoun. Scoresby. Yeah, exactly, Scoresby is, namely Scoresby. Namely Scoresby. thinking about the poachers who are threatening a piacon and the other mighty tolku scores be yeah exactly scores be is Namely scores be namely and so I'm glad that that's not who you're thinking of like you name dominating the water

It's scores be as course be bad news. Yeah. Yeah, they're like they're trapping like piacon has a shift at Chuck E cheese Hey David just one quick question, yeah, yeah, the void a context, I just want to see what your first answer is. Who is the most famous person? Uh huh. Oh, I'm sorry, that's the entire question. Who is the most famous person? Yep. Or the most famous personality maybe?

And then once you say yours, can I follow it up with something and just tell me if you agree? Okay. And I can't say Willem Dafoe and Otto Fokker? You can say anything you want. I'm going to say, who's the most famous person? I'm going to say Ronald McDonald. That's always been my answer. Wow. That's a good one. That's a good answer, but you're going to be blown away by my answer, which is Santa. That's actually a better answer. That's a good answer, but you're gonna be blown away by my answer, which is Santa. That's actually a better answer.

That's a better answer. Now, all right, we have one other, we have a follow-up question for you. What's more famous, Santa or the sun? The sun is more famous. I think the sun. I think it's the sun. What's more famous, the sun or dog?

What the hell has been going on in this episode? A gas leak. This is why I was an hour later than I was supposed to be. Correct. Exactly. That took up most of the episode. What did you say, Emma? I said what's wrong with this episode, and I said a gas leak, I think. I think so. This is a gas leak episode, guys. It's the fumes from Chuck E. Cheese. I'm telling you.

Sims, you were going to say something else after Ronald. Well, I mean, my Ronald McDonald defense over it's like, you know, I think Ronald McDonald is everywhere in the world, whereas Santa, I guess, in the non-Christian nations would be less famous. Yeah, right. I don't know. But there is versions of Santa. You know, there's different versions.

There are secular Christmases. But yeah, it is kind of a Western-centric POV to think it's Santa. I don't know. I don't know. But Sun wins anyways. We all agree Sun is the winner. to think it's Santa. I don't know. But Sun wins anyways. We all agree. Might be Sun.

Might be Sun. We think it's Sun. Can I ask you one last question? You definitely can. What is more famous, moon or Earth? I think moon is more famous. I agree. I think moon is more famous.

I agree. I think about that all the time, man. Imagine 20,000 years ago, there's just people walking around on Earth, hunting and gathering, and they're like, by the way, the fuck is that? the time, man. Imagine 20,000 years ago, there's just people walking around on Earth hunting and gathering, and they're like, by the way, the fuck is that? We agree with you. What is that saying? What is it?

Simms is always locked in, he gets it immediately. They don't know they're walking on another orb, like a similar heavenly body. They just know that they are on terra firma, and there's a thing up there. There's a fricking thing in the sky. Yeah, what is that rock? It changes shape.

What's going on with that thing? Okay, but David, one more question. What's more famous, dog or bug? Bug. Actually, can I make it a three way most famous? Dog or bug or a pokeball? What the fuck is going on? I think it's bug. I think it's it's still I think bugs still win cuz there are everyone deals with bugs

They're also our bug type Pokemon, right? So it's like that's just Effective against psychic Just that way It's a good tip to just having your back back pocket. If you have a question or comment about the World of Chain Restaurants, you can email us at FeedBagAtBirdFuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-460-463-6844. And I hate to get the Doughboys double A-W bonus episode plus our entire pre-2018 back calendar. Subscribe at Patreon.com slash Doughboys.

Our producers Emma Erdbrink, our associate producers Emilio Marino, our supervising video producers Casey Donahue, our video editor is Mike Dorfman. A Griff sized episode. A blank check sized episode. That'sman. A Griff-sized episode. A blank check-sized episode. That's right. Fitting for Love Week. David, thank you so much for joining us. People should listen to Blank Check. Yes.

My favorite podcast. I listen to it all the time. I love it. You guys are great. And you do great work over there. And hey, the Doughboys were on a recent episode. 1941 Spielberg series, a great episode. Great episode. everybody loved it Yeah, God bless and and and Griffin anything you'd like to plug Yeah, George Lucas talk show I do with Connor outlift. We're traveling around

I don't know if we have any shows coming up in the immediate You can see all the old ones on YouTube and we'll probably put other stuff on the calendar soon And then I'm in this movie called turn me on that got put on a VOD without any of us knowing So I'm trying to catch up and let people know about it now, but it's a Bell Powley and Nick Robinson Patty Harrison Darcy Carden It's got good people in it and I'm in it and yeah, it's it's rentable most places you rent movies digitally but not on Netflix Wow Give it a rent check it out. Yeah, turn me rentable most places you rent movies digitally, but not on Netflix Wow Give it a rent check it out. Yeah, turn me on is the um I'm gonna say this like Matthew Lillard

Matthew Lillard Matthew Lillard The Hollywood handbook is gonna be so mad at us So mad at us Hey I'm expecting the entire edit. Someone drop it to me on Mitch's head. Oh, is he gay? Hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until next time, for the Spoon Rappin' Chilla, I'm Tiger Weiger. Happy eatin'! See ya. Hatches, glasses, all sorts of stuff. Aprons, it's all available at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. That's kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys.

Sources for the intro are in the episode description. Hey, it's Nicole Byer here. Let me ask you something. Are you tired of endless swiping on dating apps? Fed up with awkward first dates and disappointing hookups? Girl, same! Welcome to Why Won't You Date Me? The podcast where I figure out love and how to suck less at dating.

Each week, I get real with comedians, friends, and celebrities about their love lives. We swap dating horror stories, awkward hookups, and dive into the messy and wonderful world of relationships. I've chatted with amazing guests like Conan O'Brien, Whitney Cummings, Sarah Silverman, Trixie Mattel, Tiffany Haddish, and so many more. So whether you're single, mingling, or boot up, there's something in it for everyone. Tune into Why Won't You Date Me With Me, Nicole Byer, and discover insights that might just save you from your next dating disaster? Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts, and catch

full video episodes on YouTube! New episodes drop every Friday!