Doughboys - Cold Stone Creamery 3 with Shaun Diston and Gilli Nissim

Episode Date: August 21, 2025

Shaun Diston (@shaundiston) and Gilli Nissim (time2getgill) of Twisted Metal join the 'boys to talk favorite desserts, writers' room eats, and the making of Twisted Metal Season 2 before a review of Coldstone.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/hydrox-cookies-oreohttps://historycooperative.org/who-invented-oreos/https://herrells.com/our-company/our-company-legacy/https://www.marbleslabpr.com/en/our-storyhttps://www.fundinguniverse.com/company-histories/cold-stone-creamery-history/https://www.mashed.com/229101/the-untold-truth-of-cold-stone-creamery/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. In 1908, the Sunshine Biscuit Company introduced a cookie that would realign the American snack market. Two chocolate wafers sandwiching a layer of sweet white cream. The chocolate sandwich cookie persists to this day, outlasting the business that inventing. it. That cookie brand is Hydrox. In 1912, the National Biscuit Company, a larger and more powerful corporation, better known by its modern clip portmanteau Nabisco, introduced its clone of

Sunshine's Hydrox, called the Oreo. Nabisco's Oreo would come to dominate the market over the next century, becoming a billion-dollar brand and the top-selling cookie in America. Hydrox, meanwhile, not only has been relegated to Also Ran, but suffered the indignant of being accused of imitating its own imitator, like accusing the Beatles of copying Oasis. It's a pattern that happens in art, in fashion, and in food, the victor not being who came first, but who finished first, innovation, trumped by factors like persistence, marketing, and timing. And it also happened with a different sweet treat concept, smooth textured ice cream mixed with toppings to order. The first to market was Steve Harrell with his Steve's ice cream

parlor in 1973, which created and trademarked the term mix-in, that we sold his company for $80,000 in 1978. Steve's was imitated by Marble Slab Creamery in 1983, which maintains a market presence in strip malls to this day as part of the Fat Brands Alliance with Fat Burger, Roundtable Pizza, and Hot Dog on a Stick. And the concept was imitated yet again in 1988 when partners Donald and Susan Sutherland opened their parlor in Tempe, Arizona, slinging ice cream mixed-to-order on the frozen granite that gave the brand its name.

Today, with around a thousand locations, it's more than three times the size of marble slab. It's self, now like Hydrox, often falsely accused of ripping off the market leader. And this year, in a bit of synergy of sweet treat imitators turned frontrunners, Oreo has partnered with the Arizona-based creamery that dominates its mixed-to-order niche

for a new slate of co-branded ice cream flavors and novelties. As for Steve's ice cream, the parlor that started at all, the brand no longer exists. Guess it's true what they say. Ice guys finish last. This week on Do Boys, we return to Coldstone Creamery. Welcome to Do Boys, the Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Tiger Weiger, along with my co-host, Lex Chewmore, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.

You're saying, oh, man, Lex Chew Moore? Lex Luthor, Lex Chumor? With some, I think, I mean, this is the thing, Lex, you're gilding the lily here. Lex Chuther gets the job done a little bit better, yeah. With Summeron and superheroes making their annual blockbuster return, I wanted to roast for James Guns Superman. man, big fun and thanks for all the year. Big fan and thanks for all the years of entertainment, Josh K. Roast at Birdfock.com.

I also see Amelia include a note. I like this one for how bad the pun is, so that explains it. Oh, you chose a bad. There was no twisted metal pun anywhere. It was just Lex Chumor. It's good. It was good.

No, it's not. It's not good. It's bad. Mitch Twisted Muntil continues here on the, and dough boys. Welcome to twisted monthel. Welcome to twisted monthel indeed. That's where an episode.

Episode seven of nine at this point, I think. Yes, I believe so. Time for another lickety lick of twisted treat, Wags. Mitch, something. I don't want to sit here anymore. Look what's happening on this couch. She's looking or something. I'm talking about liking.

I know. Jimini. Oh, look that ear. That was funny, cute. Um, yes, Swags, we're celebrating twisted metal. That's right. Season 2, streaming now on Peacock. Twisted monthel 2 colon 1.

That's right. This is the first real twisted monthel. Well, bitch, I had something truly twisted to be happened last night here at HeadGum Studios. And in fact, metal was involved. I heard this. And a twist was involved. That's right. Last night, much like R. Kelly, I was trapped in the bathroom.

I don't think he's ever saying he was trapped in the bathroom. He'd love to be trapped in the bathroom. I was the headgum bathroom. So we did our record. You went to have dinner with your mom and some friends.

So that friend being Samoa Joe. That's true. That's right. Yeah. Possibly a future guest on Dope Boys. He's next week's guest. He's on the last the he's he's next week's when we end twisted month old I had we had some more bullshit to do here I'd record my my intros for the podcast

and then I went in the restroom and while I'm in there and by by the way I'm in the restroom basically because we've been doing an ice cream all month an absolute fucking nightmare in my digestive tract do you ever just like I'm just this is a dude thing it's a dude thing you ever just go in there and like stand at the urinal to fart

that's basically what I was doing hell yeah have logs hell yeah So you turn into a little soft-serve machine yourself. Yeah, I'm just in there sandblast and solo. Do you take your dick out? You got to take your dick out. If you're farting, you take your dick out.

Guys know what we're talking about. It's a dude thing. It's a dude thing. I go to open the door handle. It just comes off in my hand. And so I'm like stuck in there. And I, like, Amelia, thankfully, is like, oh, I think I can get it from outside. is able to open it from outside,

but then suggest, hey, why don't we put LA, why don't you go back in there and see if you can open it from the inside with the handle off? Because we thought we'd fixed it. Oh, they were here at least.

They were here at least. They were here at least. They were here. Amelia and I were outside, like, being like, it won't open, it won't open. So now I'm in there. No, well, this is the next step, right?

Because it got opened. The handle came off. You were able to open it from outside. When you opened the door. Fully naked. hot and fresh out the kitchen then you were like try and see if you can open it from the inside

in case it happens again and someone's here alone and I like it closed it and I was like no I can't open it and then Amelia said I have the quote here I have a chance to do something really funny she looked at me with this shit eating grin

and she goes I have a chance right now to do something really far out What was, what was the thing, where you, walk away and leave me in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went back in. Yes, yeah. But, but then, but then you actually couldn't open it from outside anymore. I actually panicked.

And so you had to be like, no, I, hey, I'm not lying. I actually is not working. You actually are stuck in there. I'm not messing with you this time. I actually can't open it from the outside. Yeah, so anyway, I noticed that a piece had like kind of slipped out, like a, there was like a dowel inside, like a piece of metal. that was a, you know, connected the outside door handle.

So I was able to, like, kind of, like, jam that some bitch back in. And that was able to, like, you know, grip it enough where we were able to lock it to unlock it. But Heygum just replaced the doorknobs with what they said were high quality doorknobes. Yeah. So I'm surprised that they, they couldn't have cheapened out on us. Were they trying to turn those bathrooms into prisons for the doughboys? But we can finally lock them away for good. Maybe it is like a Superman situation where they're going to shoot us into space.

I said it was too on brand for the doughboys To break the bathroom Heroing I got out of there Will you win the one with the window at least Or no Yeah I was in the one I literally was looking at the door frame

Being like I could pass them A screwdriver through the window We could take the door off it Man I wish that you fucking Winnie to poo Your way out of that fucking window Could you fit through that window is it Your dicks out from farting The window's tight

You're just farting that entire way out Oh father You've got to let it up parts out to get through the window. Boys stick their dicks out when they fart. And ladies, we know you're flashing them titties when you go on there and fart too. You say that, but when... Ladies don't fart.

Well, ladies don't fart, but also when we wear jumpsuits, we are getting topless in the bathroom. It's absolutely true. And it is absolutely insane when you see the, like, public restroom, the, like, crack in the door. And you just see that eye of a lady who, like, doesn't trust that there's someone in there. I've had it where that eye, I see it growing wider because she has seen that I have a top off.

And it's just like, who's the pervert here, okay? You're looking in, I'm popless out. What do you want? We got to do something about those cracks and those... Big crack. Like, what's going on? And my understanding is it's an American thing. That's my understanding, too, but this is not a thing outside of America.

I actually love when I travel, I take a picture of different bathroom locks. It's one of my favorite things to see how many bars they'll be like, the lock is broken, use the deadbolt. The dead bolt's broken. And so it's just a fucking fish hook latch. Other countries have figured this out. They know how to lock a door. And we got to get on board. You can see too much through the crack.

I don't like any cracks. I think a butt should just be just a hole. Just smooth with one hole. Thank you. You're thinking about it. I'm sure to think of how it would work. Well, why do we need a big cavernous crack? Just one hole.

I've just honestly never thought about it. I guess we don't need it. March wouldn't make any noise. But squat would be harder. I don't think you could do like a sumo squat without a back. Yeah, no, that's true. You need to be able to expand a little bit. Why can't if you just think about like if it was just like a big, like a big melon or a peach or something.

Yeah. And there's no crack. And then there's just a hole. And it comes, you know what I'm saying? I think just our musculature would have to be different. I want to congratulate you guys for 10 years of quality podcasting. Do you guys like farting into the? the bowl?

Farring to the bowl for a guy, especially for a big guy, I don't know how you guys will feel about this, but forever, just being in a bathroom and then hearing like a big echoy, like, yeah, it turns into a speaker at that. Yeah, it's very embarrassing. And even in a men's room, well, here's the thing is when you're younger and you do that, everyone in the book, like the men's room is going to be like, oh, and like make fun of you or whoever's in there. Oh, it's lively in there.

I didn't know that. Oh, God. It's like taking a number two when I, I, we talked about. this wise. I almost would never do it. My mom worked at my at the high school I was at so she sometimes gave me a little special key and I go and use a bathroom like a like a private bathroom but they were all locked all my bathrooms were locked you couldn't you like uh you couldn't just go you couldn't just like freely go to the bathroom you had to like ask and then if you were gone too long people knew you were taking a shit like this is I've thought about all this stuff

multiple times. Are you the same way K through 12 not one deuce at school not one time that's insane Man, that's crazy. Only pee. That's crazy. But I will say as an adult. Only pee? Only, all right, jacked off a few times. Just ask what we're talking about.

A little blood, a little. Oh, yeah. But I, like, as an adult, first off, I have become a convert aside from just, like, the, you know, the stray, like, just fart fest. I'm mostly a convert to the sit-down pee. So I do find myself, you know, find myself having some echo farts in the, and the, in the toilet bowl. I lined mine with egg cartons. Oh, that's smart.

So it's really quiet. Before we got in here, we were talking about jerking off for at least 10 minutes. The podcast has started. We have only talking about farting. I can't even believe what I'm hearing. Mitch, play the fucking drop. Oh, yeah. We're not done.

I interrupted him. He was in the middle of talking about he likes to sit. He's a convert to sitting on the bowl. Yeah, Jay, you know, hog gabbers out there. I've been saying it. Treat yourself to sit down piece. He's promoting our television show. Twister Metal, Season 2, streaming now on Peacock.

Mitch, play your drop. I'm hitting with a drop. Wikes, it's our first D'O Boys After Dark. How so? I think when we're recording later, it should be D'Bo Boys After Dark. D'O Boys After Dark Day. It's not after, it's still light out. Doge Boys After Dark.

I can tell from here, I don't know. It'd ever be like a cooler of themes. If you want to designate a Do Boys After Dark, it is DDo Boys After Dark. High five. I think we used this in a joke They're both It's two Doughboys after Dark drops It's always after dark

It's It's Doughboys Out of it on It's Dottie is so hot And I wish she was real Hot Grunty shout out at the end that was a different drop.

Weiger and I thought that we had used it already. On an episode that comes out next week. So that's what it is different. It's two different doughboys after dark drops. Hot gruntie, very, and we won't get into hot gruntie, but it's attractive. There was a, I found a thread on, oh, you know, it was in the doughboy. It was on the doughboys Reddit. Band.

But they were like, there was a thing that they posted from another one. It was like, which version of grunty is your favorite? And like, it was like hot grunty, regular grunty, bone. Grunty. Hot gruntie sits on the bowl. What else saying? Damn. I'm going to dress myself up like a toilet then.

Our guest today. Give me them green turds, wags. You think her turds are green? Yeah, I don't know if her turds are green. They could be. I mean, like sometimes you have a green turd. But it doesn't necessarily. correlate with the color

of her skin. That logic doesn't track. Yes, yes. That is true. It's like the thing that drives me nuts when someone's like got like there's like a blue, you know, they get blue goop over them. It's like, ah, it's like a smurf fucking nutted on me. It's like you don't, your cum isn't the color of your flesh.

See, white people think, white people are like, oh yeah, come same color as our skin. For black people, we know it's different. Right. My cum does not match my skin color. Nice. It'd be fun if it did. Yeah.

Our guest from Twisted Middle Season 2 Now stream we got Peacock, Sean Diston, Billing to Seam. Thank you both so much for being here. Yes. So we've gotten jerk off talk and fart piss poo talk out of the way. That's right.

Where else will we go in this episode? It's about to get nasty. I'll tell you where we're going to go. Diston, we were trying to figure out what to do with you because we have, it's always an issue because I'm a tough guest. Well, here, no, you're a great guest. but you are particular when it comes to food

and we're a food podcast. So we're doing ice cream all month rather. Not ice cron, ice cream all month. Yes. And we weren't sure if you eat ice cream. Yes. The question was, do you fuck with ice cream? Yes.

And I'm happy to say, I do fuck with ice cream. I love it. Look, does ice cream fuck with me? Yes. But I eat, I eat it. Is it my favorite dessert? No. but I fuck with ice cream.

What is your favorite dessert? Yeah, this was going to be my question. My favorite dessert. Well, I don't know if you consider this a dessert, but I'm a cookie guy. Yeah, cookies is a dessert. Cookies fucking good, man. If you learn how to make a good cookie, here's a cookie I make. I make this cookie where you brown the butter and then you put the dough in the fridge for two days.

Wow. This is exactly how Mike makes his cookies. He browns the butter and then he'll also freeze the dough. It makes it so much better. Does he put to coffee in it too? No, but we should. Throw some coffee in there. These are great cookies.

I mean, just, just nothing better than a fresh-made cookie. Sean said he would make these cookies on, like, day two of the writer's room. And he never did. I never did. Because he was busy making television. I was busy getting busy doing other stuff. I did want the cookie, though. But I should bring those cookies at some point.

It's not my recipe, but it's a good, home recipe. Put a little coffee grounds in there. Just a little bit. Didn't you say you put cottage cheese in it, too? No, no, no, no. That's a whole other thing. My sister makes bagels with cottage cheese. She does a cottage cheese bagel.

Everyone's sticking cottage cheese and everything, I guess. I think I had a banana bread recipe with cottage cheese. It sounds good to me for the record. There's like Greek yogurt bagels you can make and stuff like that. When I visited you guys in the writer's room, very early in season two, writer's room, I brought up McDonald's because there's a McDonald's underneath you, which then I didn't realize just how much you probably had eaten McDonald's. This was a huge problem in the writer's room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. McDonald's, it was so easy to, like, in the morning be like, oh, I'll get this healthy sandwich or this little bowl or something.

And the second it shows up, I'm like, I'm getting nuggets. Like, it was so easy to go to. And then there was some toy we were collecting. The big nugget buddies. Yeah, it was, we were collecting. Okay, okay. I say we, it was all me. He had like a little army in front of him.

It was fun. But, yeah, McDonald's, I don't, I honestly haven't, I don't eat, like, drive-thru or fast food. that often, that was like the most I had had McDonald's in a really long time. Same. And I don't think we told you this at the time, but I decided to be fun and get everyone breakfast from McDonald's.

And the day you were coming, you brought in McDonald's. You walked in with McDonald's and everyone was like, great. It's so hard. Like, it was already, I will not make this mistake again. Like, you cannot give a room full of people McDonald's breakfast and then ask them to, like,

come up with ideas. And then you brought in a second dose and I think we all like picked at it, but you were very stressed out, I think, because you weren't sure if we liked it. And I didn't want to be like, yeah, I fucked up your nice treat. If you remember correctly, we demolished the McDonalds, no matter what. I brought cheeseburgers, fries and maybe nuggets. I think that's what I did. Yeah. And nuggets were, no matter what I had for lunch, I was always willing to like pop a couple nuggets on top. Hell yeah. I had a similar thing happened when the fucking, I don't know if anyone got it else got into the Star Wars card trader app. But like I was I was super into it. But it had like, I was super into it. But it had like, all these micro transactions you could do to get more credits you could use to buy more parts. I think I know what you're going to tell. And so I like, or I was like, okay, if I order like a $50 Harry's berries, I'll give like $2,000 credits I can use to buy like a plow coon. So like I was like, so I ordered, I ordered Harry's berries or Sherry's bears.

I remember where to the fuck to the comedy bang bang writers room. And I think it's like, oh, that'll also be a nice surprise. And then someone else also ordered, I think even Saunders also ordered Sherry's berries. For the same card? To get a card? That's so funny. How often do you look at your Plow Coon card now? I got locked out of my account.

So it's gone. After spending several hundred dollars of real money. Didn't you send that? Weren't you saying like edible arrangements to people? Yeah, I was saying people edible arrangements. You can always just like go on your computer and pull up a picture of Plow Coon. Who cares? Yes, that is also true.

And also you were sending people funeral gifts, basically. An edible arrangements for all occasions. That's true. Tall John, when we, when two John's don't make a right, the podcast you did it as well. Tall John and John Daly. Yes, they sent a, they sent a edible arrangement that said, I'm sorry after, after I did these. That was a lovely gift. It was.

I'm giving them a shout out. It's great. It's fantastic. Gilly, what is your dessert hierarchy? You know, where is ice cream rank? This is huge. I know what's coming. Yeah.

This is huge. Oh, wow. I don't really like ice cream. Wow. So you thought I don't fuck with ice cream. This is insane. Yeah, yeah, I don't really like it. I'll tell you the best ice cream I've had this summer was the bean and cheese cone at the OC County Fair.

Bean and cheese. Yeah, yeah. I'm a savory girl. I'm on record on this pod saying I put truffle and everything bagel seasoning in my yogurt. We did talk about that. Yogurt's just a little bit warmer. ice cream. Yeah, I enjoyed doing this. I enjoyed the bites that I took, but I can't even think of the last time I finished a cone or a cup of ice cream. And as a kid, I never finished

it. Like, you get it because it's exciting to go get ice cream, but it doesn't drive me nuts. Genuinely, the bean and cheese cone, I was like so delighted to be licking it. Was there real cheese and bean in it? Yeah, so it was pretty well crafted. The cone itself was disappointed. The cone itself was Disappointing, but it is a new launch. The cone should have been a tortilla, maybe cheese. I have a waffle maker where I can make cheese into a very crispy thing. Right. So it's doable.

I think because it's a new product, they're like, we're not making a whole cone. So it was just a regular sugar cone. A sugar cone. Or waffle cone. I guess they're different, but they're. And it was cold. It was hot beans. Hot beans.

What were they like, pinto beans? Refried pinto beans. And they really took care. I saw the guy building it. So it was like scoop of beans. a cheese sauce scoop of beans cheese sauce then the big sort of like mound the like Sean is ill and so many the big final mound of beans that's like visible above the cone the thing that's like this is an ice cream it's not ice cream really I just said I don't like ice cream so what I like is that it's not

ice cream you've described bean and cheese in the shape of ice cream yes but wait then there's a sprinkle of a shredded Mexican blend oh sprinkles so it really looks like It's still not ice cream. It's not. I don't like ice cream. I like what it's beans. I thought you were saying that they like liquefied beans or something and then like put it through an ice cream churn or something.

No, no. And that stuff. I've tried the like garlic ice cream at Gilroy, California. It's like the garlic capital. All right. I've tried a lot of. There's that everything ice cream that everyone was talking about. I've tried that.

I've tried the mac and cheese ice cream. All that stuff I feel like is more of a gimmick than people like. Sure. It's sweet plus this other thing. Everything bagel. Take out the sweet. Just make it beans, just straight up, like, refried beans. And walking around licking beans, I've never felt better.

I'll be honest, this sounds great. I'm totally interested. Thank you. I thought you would like it. I literally was anticipating driving here of just like, I think why you're going to like it. When you eat refried beans, you put it on the spoon and then kind of like lick whatever is off and then go back in. Licking beans sounds insane. It's how you're already doing it.

You're just not thinking about it because it's on a spoon. Like, you don't, like, put it all in your mouth and use your lips and, like, scrape it clean. That's crazy. Gets on the spoon, you look it. Cut out the spoon. You're holding your beans in one hand. Interesting. Just shaking hands with everyone you eat.

Just licking the beans. This reminds me of that Simpsons thing. What was the Simpsons thing? The, like, carp collage or the... What's the thing he gets when he goes to New York where it's, like, a cone of meat? Oh, yes. Yes. Yes.

and a very funny joke where he's like, we got crab juice and Mountain Dew, and he goes, Ew, I'll take the crab juice. Yes. Great joke. What you're describing is like a Simpsons level snack where it's a cartoon, not a human being eating it, but it absolutely sounds like a cartoon thing.

And I thought also that Sean didn't like ice cream, and I texted him behind your backs. Wow. Because he doesn't like cheese. For the record, Sean is very easy going in a writer's room. He was so on he was like refusing to be catered to in anyway Whatever you want I get there's a McDonald's downstairs Yeah the McDonald's was that's huge I mean that's super helpful sometimes just opt out of the lunch order and go get your own McD's

I would say probably I wouldn't always get McDonald's sometimes I just wouldn't eat in general but wouldn't eat I have trouble like eating during the day at work because then you don't fuck with food in general No I fuck with food all right but it's like just like if I eat lunch and it's like the second half of the day as a complete wash. Sure. And like, so I like to, you know. The show we eat right before we record.

Yeah, that's how I'm feeling right now. I'm like, wow, I really had a full doughboys experience for recording. But, yeah, I like ice cream, but you thought I didn't like ice cream. Just the cheese of it all. They're pretty dairy. They're cousins, I would say. But, I mean, the man's easy going and he likes ice cream. There you go.

All right, here's an admission, Wags. Yeah. That before this started, we thought, hey, ice cream the whole month it's easy to do sweet tooth drives an ice cream truck Stephanie had suggested jenny's ice cream which makes an everything bagel ice cream uh or did at one point yeah and we were like let's do ice cream it's easy well it's in in wags it's in a new job it seems like an easy thing to do and then uh um uh mj was like i don't like ice cream so there are multiple guests that don't like ice cream i didn't realize it feels

like a new thing that ice cream is slightly more polarizing than it used to to be because I think I know a few people that just don't like ice cream. There are people who have like teeth sensitiveivity issues. I think we've all realized that it gives us the rumblies to a certain extent. So I do think that ice cream, when we were younger, was like, oh, a bowl of ice cream

fucking Sunday is the best thing in the world. Now I could take it or leave it. I like ice cream. I will say, like some good ice cream will get me very pumped, but I don't always reach for it. Ice cream is my favorite dessert. I love ice cream. And that's a thing that is not wavered throughout my

my whole life. Like, I mean, I've just said, it's always been number one. I mean, you know, this guy's going every week for ice cream. I love ice cream. That's nice. I can't blame anyone for it. Like, when I have it, I'm like, I could see this being one of my favorite things if I had some consistent version of it that I liked.

Yeah. Can I say a dessert I do like? Please. Yes. I do like a hot fresh chocolate chip cookie. That is true. I can't wait to try Sean's one day. Hey.

And then I just learned, because I like to eat like a small amount of any dessert. I just learned about because I'm eating beans. So I'm full. Steve Slaga, friend, told me about you take a saltine cracker, you put some cream cheese on it, and then you put some jam on it. I happen to have a loquot jam since season, and it tastes like the best cheesecake you've ever had. And it's so easy. And to like eat one, I feel like I'm getting the whole experience of like it's salty,

the crust feeling of a cheesecake is in there, it's like savory from the cream cheese. and then a little sweet from a jam or like a fruit compote. That sounds delightful. Is a loquot related to a cum quad? It is. It's the sort of like juicier version. I like loquots better,

but they grow all over Los Angeles. You've seen them. Oh, okay. It has like the meat of a peach and then like a thousand pits inside. Now, is a loquot different than a jiz quat? Yes. Because I've seen those all over.

There is the jizz tree. There's that flower that gets off the jizz tree. There's a whole block in, like, Franklin Village that just smells like sperm. Stocks, Mitch. Oh, I don't know if that's where you're doing. It's not because of my apartment, Emma. Whenever I'm doing spring cleaning, people are like, smells like, come. What's going on in here?

Wait, can I tell a quick writer's room story about Gillian food? Do you remember this, Gilly? So we would get, I would say that Gilly is a deranged food person. Now, that has, you know, you've heard some of it, you know, I don't want to get into all the details but a very funny thing happened once where we got like we got like what was it

it was like chicken from Zanku we got Zanku Love Zanku and I think you got like a half chicken or something and it was in the fridge for I'd say five days maybe six days

five days maybe six days Gilly walks into the writers room holding this Zanku looking at us like I can still eat this right I mean the reaction from the writers was like Gilly are you insane like we were so scared that you're eating

five day old chicken at home I was like I was flabbergasted I was like gilly what is happening you think you could eat it was like a whole weekend had gone by I didn't even remember when we ordered it and Gilly was like truly considering eating this chicken and I thought that is one of the most strange things I've ever seen

I go five six days on a regular damn the only reason I asked was because I just couldn't remember, like, what day was Zanku Day? Because if I had remembered, I would have gone, like, five days, six days, still good. Honestly, the thing that scares me the most is that it's from a restaurant. I just don't know how... It's not, like, homemade or anything. Yeah, I just don't...

Oh, that chicken's from that day. Zanku, their chickens are flying out the door. I'm kind of getting inside with Gilly. I, like, I ride out a little bit too long on my leftovers for sure. And I suffer the consequences. Yeah, of course you do. Of course you do. I just, yeah, I finish.

every leftover and then you go out to like eat unexpectedly and that that chicken's just sitting there a day longer than you meant to it was just so funny because gilly is like such a like you were such a delight in the writer's room such a like competent like we were like looking to you for a lot in the room and then to come in and have one of the most bizarre opinion like everyone was like wait no gilly's actually crazy I made you feel really unsafe I was like hold on gilly I need to go and clear out your fridge at home yeah we're we're opposite eaters yeah Growing up, I just bit into too many moldy sandwiches that I am like three days, four days, four days is usually when it goes out. You also grew up in the Minority Report House. Yeah, that's true. One time my mom gave me a sandwich, and I was like, I was like, this was such a good cheese sandwich. What kind of cheese was it? And she was like, turkey. Oh, man.

Oh, God. That's horrifying. Disgusting stuff. Hold on a second. you what's the list of foods you don't fuck with because i think i think of you as i think of you as like a more of a like a crazy i'm a crazy look i'm picky yeah what what what were roadblocks for us in the past subs i don't fuck with subs i don't fuck with bowls oh yeah okay let me let me see you guys out let me still you guys out please subs you know the types of subs you go to jersey mics it's all wet down

and shit like that stuff i'm not into i'll eat a sandwich i generally like a sandwich or any sort of bowls. Mike's way. It's delicious. I just like to make it myself. Like, I don't like seeing a big mixed up slop of things that came from someone else. Okay. And that's just some weird thing about me. So, I don't fuck with subs, because I don't want to go to a place and get a wet down sub.

Bulls, I fuck with bowls, kind of. But I didn't want to be the arbiter. This was when you guys were doing that competition. That's right. I didn't want to come in here and be like, yeah, bowls are okay. I think both of them were much madness. Yes, they were both were, I mean, coveted slots in the doughboys, schedule and I said basically

get someone else because I don't want to I don't know I don't want to piss the fans off they want people to like you know give these places a good try I'm liable to not like a big mixed up bowl of shit that I didn't make myself I kind of get that I do get it so and then like certain things like

sushi like I will like sashimi but I don't always like a ton of sushi mayonnaise is some stuff I don't fuck with any sauce that seems very cummy sure sure I'm I'm not a man. We like the gummy sauce. You and I like cummy sauces, I'd say.

Yeah, for sure. I mean, like we're talking what? We're talking mayonnaise. We're talking sour cream. We're talking ranch. Yeah, big time. This is one of our top guys. I can guzzle those sauces.

Just a white sauce that you get on some halal. It's a lot of fun. One time me and Sean went out to dinner to a place that was pretty good, but the best part was there was like a bread course where each, there were three breads and each one had its own unique butter. Yeah. And the corn bread, I think. Yes, there was a chicken butter. and it was it was like butter that was in the shape of like a chicken leg it looked like a drumstick yeah and it had like a weird

I don't even remember what it tastes like but I just remember being like that's all I could think about was that fucking chicken butter I think about all that they just called Lyndon on Hollywood Boulevard great restaurant it had breadcrumbs on it to make it look more like fried chicken oh that's fun it was just like it was really good thinking of next yeah delightful I went to Osteria Moza last night with Joe and my mom and sister and I hadn't been there in a long time And I was like, is it, is it now Osorima, also like two? Is it old?

Is it, is it time past it by? I was wondering this as I was there because it's a very, it's like one of the fancy, nice L.A. restaurants. And I do think it's great. It was, and it was still good, but I was like, it's that sort of thing with a turnaround with restaurants. I was like, this is like a 15-year-old restaurant now and it feels like it's dated or something.

Yeah, but I mean, a lot of times a restaurant, that's about how long a restaurant lasts. You know, those high-end restaurants, they turn over. They're not always the institutions that last for decades. Did you hear the news story of the, I don't remember his name, but the very famous chef who is behind Chinese laundry. It's been like 15 years or something where he was so famous, so lauded. And I guess it's sort of, you know, there's newer, bigger, more exciting restaurants. And a reporter, a food critic, I want to say for like the San Francisco Times or maybe New York, some big paper was there. And she used a different name because that's sort of a thing that they do.

And the chef was there that night. and he came out and he kicked her out because he didn't want her to write anything mean about it. And, like, held her, held her, is the wrong word, but, like, talked at her for half an hour while her friends were like, is this woman kidnapped? Like, there's people at a table waiting for her.

And he just basically was like, please don't say anything mean about my restaurant. Like, it was driving him insane to have fallen out of favor. And then she had to write an article about how weird this guy was to her. Like, she didn't even review the food. Like, does not mean. mention the food one day's like total win yeah he never reviewed I could take a hit it's just everyone needs to stay out off the subreddit that's the lesson just don't everyone needs to not read the

comments yeah we can't read the comments no I won't looking down like a rocheck I uh I might with a first I remember going to pizzeria moza with my mom and dad for the rest of the my dad passed away like 13 years ago or something at this point, 14 years ago. And, uh, uh, yeah, 13 years ago, who cares? Oh, well, I care, obviously. Well, whatever. Uh, he's dead. We all just really let him do that.

Uh, my dad's dead. Um, uh, you know, my life changed forever. Anyways, uh, we went to pizza or Mosa and, uh, and Vince Vaughn came. It was Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller. Whoa. And, uh, for people not in LA, there's, there's basically three different concepts that are all kind of, uh, they're all Nancy Silverton restaurants. They're all in the same block.

I thought you were going to explain Vince Vaughn to the people. There's a movie called Swingers that came out in the 90s, kind of a cultural touchstone. You know what? The quintessential L.A. movie. It's true. Yeah, one of them. But anyway, I was going to say there's Osteria Moza, there's Pizzeria Moza, there's a pizzeria moza, which is a little bit more casual.

And there's Chief Spocka, which is more of like a steak sort of concept. Which is the newest of the three. Yeah. But Vince Vaughn opened the door, almost knocked my dad over, almost hit my dad, and my dad was fucking pissed off. He's like, I'm going to say something to him to say something to Vince Vaugh. And I was like, don't fight. Don't get in a fight with Vince Bond with your young son here who, and then also at that same restaurant, we were eating at Osteria, we were eating at Osteria Mozo next door. And Rupert Murdoch was at the table over.

And my mom was like, go talk to him. He's your boss, like, he's your boss, because I worked at the Simpsons. And I was like, he's not my, he doesn't know who the fuck I am. He's not going to like me. I don't want to talk to Rupert Murdoch anyways. So I didn't talk to him. I would have talked to him. Yeah.

Would you have talked to him? I'd be like, hey, Rup, what's up? Good day, mate. I get the lunches at the Simpsons, baby. I'm by if you ever wanted me, get your lunch. If Vince Vaughn had knocked your dad over, he would have been your new dad. That is, it's like Santa Claus. That's exactly right.

It's true. And then your dad would be alive. You'd be fast-talking slick Mitch, Mike Mitchell. Yeah. My politics will probably remain the same. Yeah. We dipped in the water a little bit, but I want to, I want to dig in here. Yes.

Yeah, the twist of better writers' room, you were two of the people responsible for, for writing season two, Diston you're on in season one. Yes. Who put me in my underwear? Yeah, who puts you in his underwear? Everyone unanimously. Trying to remember if that.

That just felt like it was probably always happening. I think I pitched it when I came in the room. Yeah, you were just like, what if it was... I want me in my underwear all of so. Yeah. Um, yeah, no, the, yeah, we all wanted to see you naked. They digitally added clothes to you. I do think, like, early on, like, maybe even Mackey said, like, in a,

in season one he was kind of like i don't want this world to be sexless like there should be sex and like people experiencing bodies and stuff and i think we did take that into account like there's the big ball pit sex scene in season one so you know when it we had a chance for all the fans the fans of i'd say rar the bears sure the bear fans out there a lot of you in the discord i know you're there it's true i know you listen for that very reason, we're like, let's throw him a little fish biscuit if you know what I'm talking about. Hell yeah.

So we were like, look, Mitch gonna be naked. Yeah, let's do it. Here's some honey for you. Yeah. It's a fresh salmon from the stream. Here's a little picnic basket for the old bears. Lick it up, bears. It was fun as how my mom, it was hard for my mom to watch that up. She was clutching her pearls.

Yes. Yes. There's a, it's a lot of sex going on. There's some extreme situations that your character has put in. But, you know, it's fun. I feel like we should be aiming for your mom and other moms to be clutching their problems. I think that is the zone. My mom loves the show. I mean, my mom, I remember I told you this before Wax, but like watching South Park with my mom for the first time I'd be like, my mom's kind of cool. She like is laughing. She likes it. She's laughing. And then she was watching the laughing at like Jackass. And she, I think if you showed her the Swiss

Metal show without me and I think she still would have a good time. I've absolutely recognized. to my mother to not watch Tristan Meadow. I'm like, it's just not for you. Like, just know it's good. People are having fun. She's, she's going to watch her boys show. She's going to watch it, but I'm like, I am telling you you're not going to like it. But I don't know, maybe she'll like it.

I think she'll like it. My mom's not going to watch it. And I think that should be considered a huge endorsement for all the fans out there. Exactly. Mother not approved. I mean, here's on the timeline a little bit because where, you know, where new episodes are coming out here in August of 20. We're recording this in July.

Obviously, everything takes forever. When did the writer's room begin for season two? How long have you all been working on? This was a month or two after the, at the end of the writer strike. So I think it was like the end of the year in 2020. November 23. Wow. Ended April 24.

And then we shot that whole summer. So it was a, yeah, it was a weird. I think both seasons sort of started in December-ish, like end of the year. So it was kind of weird to like write for a few weeks and then be like, all right, well, I'm going home for the holiday. And then come back and be like, all right, now we're writing again. I had a boyfriend when the room started

and then didn't when we came back after the holidays. Oh, I didn't realize that was the timeline. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was a very interesting time to be writing, especially like the fucking strike sucks so much. Yeah. And, you know, some of us were like,

will we ever get to work again? It's just like so scary. So for the show to come back was like such a miracle. Like we all got, I got to work for like, whole year and it was like I felt so lucky because it was not everyone there were in a bunch of rooms starting up so it was just such a like yeah I felt so bad for the studios that they had have been so much for the writers yeah yeah they gave up a lot for sure it's studio I like it's it makes

me feel sad for the studios and the stream specifically the streamers god yeah like Netflix and like I always feel bad for there's a go fund me for Netflix that I actually yeah I've submitted to a few times but I might maybe we put in the comments yeah that'd be a good idea what What snacks did y'all have in the room and or what snacks do you like to have in general if you're, you know, doing some writing or doing some thinking? Also, how many Sarandis' family members do we have staffed on the show? Wait, have we talked about our Nepo Baby story on the show? Not Nepo Baby, but a very funny thing happened. Can we not talk about it?

We've never talked about it totally. Who cares? I mean, it's funny. We had a writer's assistant. Or script coordinator? script coordinator who uh was like he was in the room he's a really great guy lovely boy matthew right i wasn't sure if you were gonna say it was like i was like matt or matthew but um really great guy he ended up leaving the show to go do another job on another show he had another opportunity so good for him

but you know he's hanging around and it doesn't happen all the time yeah yeah he doesn't happen where you live mid leave midstream but but it was fine it was totally fine so he's he you know he's hanging out where you know i'm sitting next to him every day And, you know, he's doing his little job, whatever. And then he, like, kind of says something where he's like, yeah, like, you know, I could go to some NBA game. He's, like, mentioned something about an NBA game. I was like, all right, yeah.

It was an interesting drop. And then he said something like my dad was coaching the, like, Olympic national team or something. Or it was like some crazy thing like that. I'm going to the Olympics. Where I was like, wait, your name is Matthew Kerr. wait are you Steve Kerr's son yeah it was Steve Kerr's son no one knew MJ I don't think knew

like no one hired him because he was like Steve Kerr's son it's not a room full of people who are like salivating over half of us knew who Steve Kerr was but like this is Wiger and I would go crazy I mean I went completely and it was a the day was lost I was just screaming like how the fuck are you sitting next to me I had so many questions for him then I started learning all this crazy shit about his family

He was gone a few weeks later. He worked on that show Running Point, right? That was called? Was it another basketball show? It was a different basketball show. So it was crazy, yeah. We had a Nepo baby in there. He was hiding.

His dad was draining threes next to Michael Jordan. Insane. I got to watch Sean, like his face when he, like, caught a clue. Yeah, maybe you guys knew before I did or something? No, I had no idea. No, no, no. Really, really was a total surprise, and you were the first to sniff it out. He probably said stories like that, and I just was, he's super nice.

we like hung out a little bit before he left and I just was sort of like I don't know you're younger than me so I'm only I don't know I feel stupid because the last name is Kerr but I think he might have said something early on like yeah my dad's like a basketball coach and I was like oh he's like a high school basketball coach that's really sweet it could mean anything but Sean who's like super even keel I feel like most of the time like he'd get passionate occasionally but for the most part you're like I lost my fucking mind literally screaming question I got a quick question Emma Miller or is you Either your last name's Bird by Janice. Amelia Bird? You could tell us. Yeah, I changed it to her. Oh, my. Well, there is Michael Jonathan Sarando Smith. Oh, wow.

Okay. Yeah. People have speculated that Amelia is related to Ken Marino, which you are not. I am not related to Ken Marino. I'm not related to anybody famous. The other one that's because Dan Marino. I'm not related to Dan Marino. No.

She's related to Scorpion Marino. That's right. Yeah, that's right. Scorpe. Famous in circles. He's definitely famous in circles. But you asked about snacks in the room. I honestly feel like our snack game was just okay.

I don't know if we were like really going off too hard. The like high protein sort of snacks I think became. Oh, one of those rooms. You know, we're pretty yoked, pretty, you know, a lot of like squats happening during pitches. But, yeah, those, what are those sticks of meat that are turkey? Choms. A lot of chumps. I'm a bit of a chomp skeptic.

I don't know. I don't fuck with the meat sticks. Yeah, they're like, they're very processed. I'm with you there. They're really processed. And I feel like they're dry guys usually. They're dry and they're so salty. I just feel like they're, I don't know, not for me.

They're so wet to me. I like wish they were more dry. They're like, they have like a slimyness to them, but also like when you're biting into them, I feel like they're making your mouth dry. I don't know. it's a weird I just like they're there to me are so they're just so artificial and in construct that I just I have no interest in it you know what it's like uh you remember for a time and I'm not sure they still have them they might stop them for kids but Carl's junior hearties has uh the chicken stars which are which are nuggets but they're in a star form factor and I'm just like this is I know so far removed from what actual food is I know that a nugget is not actual food but still it like is an approximation of like a hunk of meat That now when it's like a big long tube, I was like, I don't want this anymore.

BK chicken fries, the same sort of thing. It's like, this is too abstract. The shape ain't right. Yeah. A tender I can imagine like, oh, the tender was kind of pulled off the breast or something. But yeah, you don't want the like little chicken dinosaurs. I'm like, there's no dinosaur in the chicken. Yeah.

I like it. I enjoy the dinosaur chicken. I love the dinosaur. The dinosaur is actually more, because you can't put the whole thing in your mouth than one. Same with the stars. The chomp of a dinosaur is. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun to eat like the head or the body.

It's more fun to bite into the dinosaurs. With the star, you're left with like a weird little nub. It's harder to break it apart. Jimmy seems like the beef six. Jimmy is rolling over. Jimmy's getting the best pets in the world right now. We also had some baby bell. Oh, that's fun.

Yeah, there's some big bell cheese going on. Can I say this too about just about chicken McNuggets is that the dinosaurs actually did evolve into birds. so that's actually not that crazy thing. That's a great point. Mitch, you just fucking served my ass. And also we're all made of stardust. That's also true. Damn.

That's a great, great point. I take back everything I said in the last. Hell yeah, this couch is knocking out of the park. Wait, can I tell you what? A writer's room revelation for us that I do remember was there are a lot of the same staples as far as like lunch menu. I know you guys have talked about on the show. Goop Kitchen kind of came up in there.

Goop Kitchen is becoming a big Selman has told us this. I just saw Selman at Comic-Con. Goop is better than you want it to be. I'm mad. We were mad at how good it was. We ordered it as a joke. We were willing to waste one precious lunch of our lives on a total joke and then... I think it was

once a week after that we were in. I bet our pitches were better that day. My thing with salads is at home I'm too lazy to put enough ingredients in it to make them good. But then Goop Kitchen's out here putting like 12 different vegetables. It's dynamic crunches.

I want to hate it. Was there any writer that was ordering the Gwyneth Paltrow Vagina candle every week? Yeah, MJ loved the vagina candle. He's like, I'm thinking, I'm thinking he closed his door and starts... I don't like ice cream, but I like this. To MJ's credit and to your credit, you guys are both eating the food you don't like

for this theme month. Yeah, Sean has honor and will be like, let me step down. And I'm just like, sign me up. I'm just going to shit on it. I will say, though, I did say recently that I will, I think, especially after trying catch us sturt on the show, which was something I thought would be completely disgusting. All right, yes.

I tried it because I said, if they asked me to eat something that I don't necessarily fuck with, I will fuck with it for the dough boys. And, but you've asked me to do ice cream and other shit like that. So it's been. That's why we love you. We had you up on the podcast in Toronto when we're up there for a Toronto. And we talked about your ordeal with your luggage. being missing for a for like months about a full calendar month wow um and i did end up getting it back

after raising hell a little bit but um you know i still love toronto i love canada i hate air canada but you know what am i going to be complaining about airlines who am i we had a but i i mean we had a lovely time up there at least i did my for the week i was up there were recording doughboys Mitch you're up there for a time You're up there for a while. Gilly, did you make it up to Toronto at all? She certainly did. You're up there for a bed. So what, did you have any good Toronto food experiences while you're up there?

Yes, I arranged a dinner. This was a fantastic dinner. It was great. That we had three foot noodles. Yes. It came with a pair of scissors. I was, I mean, fully selfishly, I wanted to have this. So I was like, everybody, let's all have a dinner.

Yeah, this is like a Chinese, was it like Chinese inspired or something? Chinese restaurant. And they gave us. like a private room because the party was so big. Yes. And the food was generally pretty great. Like there was like a Seshwan chicken that gives you that spice like Seshwan peppercorn.

A little numbness or something. Yeah, where it's like it isn't hot, spicy, but you. Mouth stranger was. What? Oh, yeah. We were blown each other afterwards. I don't even know who it is. I'm not going to name names, but everybody blown everything.

And then, yeah, I had like killer. I stayed in a hostel while I was there because I was there on my own dime I slept in a box I thought you said hospital I was like what the hell a hostel? I slept in the morgue to sleep in a hospital because they're renting those out

and you know you should be happy because that means less dead people if there's availability That is true No I slept in a hostel and it happened to be like near the Chinatown of Toronto and just good food after good food I ate at a restaurant

You know Dr. Brunner's soap? There's like a lot of text on the label and you immediately realize like it's the work of a madman. I ate at a restaurant where there were like nine different menus that all had like tiny lettering that sometimes like went in a spiral. And it was all he said that he made a new kind of noodle made out of green tea that has no carb, no gluten, like all of these things. And that would be great for me personally because I like noodles and I have to like calculate how many like carbs and sugar. And then I realized, like, this man is nuts. Like, he was like, it improves brain function. And as I'm eating it, I'm like, I think this is pasta barilla, but that's okay.

But everything just tasted so good. The food in Toronto, I thought, was fantastic. It was a great food city, my experience. Incredible food city. And, and, you know, the, I'm not sure, Gilly, if you had any fast food up there. But, like, the, I've talked about it at length of the podcast, A&W Canada, as far as chains that we visited. when we've gone on the road for the podcast, one of my favorite fast food chains.

A&W. Canada is so fucking good. So how do you feel about a chicken nugget shaped like a chicken drumstick? Because that's what they have. It's the chicken. It's actually the closest one. That's not what I'm there for. But I do, but I do, like, I, I'm down for the effort putting to that. I loved it.

Yes, yeah. He's there for the teen burgers. I'm there for the teen burgers. He likes the team burgers. They wouldn't let me order the team burger. I did have whatever the Big Mac thing was. the McDonald's the yes the what was it the big arch I think it was the at McDonald's proper at McDonald's proper I I'm gonna go ahead and say I when I'm traveling I eat so much that I do

have to walk away from quite a bit right it's I try to give it away when I can it's terrible waste but I also I got a munch I got a much and I did kind of like I had other like food prospects so I did not finish it you went all out when you were there I was I was I was genuinely impressed by the big the big arch which we reviewed for macdonald's canada with with my handford up for toronto dough is uh two uh two all beef Canadian patties yeah specifically Canadian beef with three slices of white processed cheese crispy onion slivered onions pickles lettuce and arch sauce on a toasted sesame and poppy seed bun I like I do remember joining that you liked it I liked it yeah I I lived right above so our writer's room was right above

a McDonald's. When I was in Toronto, I was renting this, like, apartment that was right above the McDonald's on Bloor that was, like, near all of us. Wait, really? Yeah, I was right above that McDonald's. Wait, I didn't know this. Oh, yeah. I didn't hang out with anyone. I was so, I was so fucking tired. Yeah, I lived right around the corner from you, Mitch. I told you this. Oh, we lived with diet. I was a five minute walk away from you. Mitch, we did meet up in that neighborhood a few times. I remember that. Yeah, yeah. But you're on set every day. It's a Yeah, I'm like, 12-hour days, you don't have a lot of energy. Yeah, I, my schedule, I don't even like thinking about what it was when I was there.

Also, you have to answer calls from me at the end of the day being like, I fucked up today. I'm like, Mitch, you weren't even shooting today. But I was, I was really happy that I did not get McDonald's once when I was there. But part of that is just that the food is so fucking good everywhere else. I'm like, I had no reason to get McDonald's. Like, I could get, like, I could walk down Bloor and go get, like, Indian food from somewhere where I'd be like, I don't know what this is. I've never, no one's recommended. I'm just walking in there.

And I'd be like, this is like as good as any fucking place. It was just, I don't know. Hot take, I think the food is better in Toronto than L.A. Oh, wow. Whoa. Whoa, wow. And I don't, wow. I don't know.

I haven't eaten at every great L.A. restaurant, but just the consistency. Like, even restaurants that, I think, like, on the median level of food in Toronto is better. There's probably better restaurants in L.A., but your L.A. is a little bit in a struggle mode right now. Coles is closing lags. I mean, there's a lot of institutions that have closed in the last five years, specifically, six, I guess. No, that's true. We've talked about this. Anderson's pea soup, which is not L.A., but like all these, like, all these places that I like, these are the cool old L.A.

place. The pantry. These L.A. institutions have kind of folded or, you know, have receded a little bit. Papa Christo. I worry about fucking Jitlata that we went to the other day. Dear God, Jitlada closed. That's like one of my top five L.A. restaurants. Selena Gomez won't let it close.

Don't worry. That's true. Well, I think the food is great in L.A. I just feel like I could walk in anywhere in Toronto and get something that was just better quality. Sure. I ate. Okay, we get it. You like Selina Gomez.

I like Selena Gomez. Jeez. She's beautiful. Were you? I said, me, amor. That's how he squeezes nipples when she's, like, laying on a massage table. It's gross. It's one of his biggest fantasies.

It seemed like you were like milking. He's always texting me about it. I'm like, Mitch, I don't want to know about this. Did you not realize you made a? Sound? Oh, that's all right. I didn't mean more. Oh, that's what I was doing.

I thought you were kind of scolding her. Don't marry Don't marry Benny Blanco. I had a Michelin Star meal, or if not Michelin Star, it was like a super up there fancy meal in a high tower that was overlooking CN Tower

in Toronto, which was like a big it's like their space needle, if I may. sorry Torontoians if I'm just tell and tells but does CN stand for not Cartoon Network It does stand for Cartoon Network I have no idea It is it is taller than the space needle

I believe that Canadians will rush to tell you But it was great to eat at this restaurant because then you don't have to go to the top of CN Tower because you're just like right there looking at it And it was a super expensive super fancy meal I went by myself I wanted to take it in got really high and ate a piece of bark that my food was sitting on

because it was one of those restaurants. And I worked really hard trying to chew off a piece of this park. So Bite One didn't inform me. It was one of those restaurants, a lot of places in Toronto, and I think Canada in general, they're very proud of, like, foraging. So it was all from the Boreal forest. It sounded really cool. And then everything was on, it looked like a terrarium.

so it was impossible to discern what was the food and what was the plate. They should have given you a heads up on that, that you're not supposed to eat the bar. And they would literally come out and, you know, restaurants like that, there's like, you're being swathed in service, like constantly people coming over, seeing if you're okay, pouring things. And like, when the food comes out, they don't just hand you the plate and walk away. There's a whole explanation. But I think I was so high.

And everything literally looked brown like bark on this one thing that I was like, I also got my front teeth sawed off when I got my braces off. Like, I had beaver teeth. Wait, what? I had really long teeth. Okay. Like full beaver teeth. And when my braces came off, they were like, you want us to take those down for you? And I was like, sure.

So they were straight, but they were still, like, prominent, like, yeah. Oh, God, my teeth were so. You couldn't have used them for the bark if you. I don't have, like, the ridges. That's what I'm saying. I don't have the ridges that your front teeth have. Mine are, like, chicklet edge. Yeah.

Got it. Truly, truly, like, I've had a chicklet in. mouth and been like this is not my tooth my two front teeth have like squared off edges so i do sometimes have to like work at so really i hate to tell you this and i i've been holding this back but this restaurant you went to it was a tree okay those restaurants those those people serving you they were raccoon no no because when i gave the server my bag he stuffed it in his cheek okay i guess that's normal by the way we're saying bark so much.

Gemmy's starting to understand this podcast. Has Jimmy ever barked in here? She's like, this sucks. Translating for Jimmy. I think she's barked in the studio like maybe four or five times total, but never on mic. Yeah. Never while we're recording.

Mono, a friend Monogapian had a good either or. Would you rather be able to speak all languages or be able to speak to animals? Oh, speak to animals. Yeah, I mean, going off my experience in Baldur's Gate, he definitely want to talk to animals. Speak on that. Well, it's just like you could talk to, like, you know, you talk to a squirrel in the forest. You get all sorts of interesting context for what's going on. You could talk to, maybe you're going to talk to a bull.

You don't realize they're an ox. You don't realize this is actually, you know, some sort of a demonic entity in disguise and has a quest for you. How many ox are actually ox? You never know. But also sometimes just talking to a regular ox and they'll just have ox thoughts, and that's fun to hear as well. I couldn't think of someone worse to have the power to speak to animals than you. Why? Because he's not good at speaking to humans.

That is a really interesting point. Yeah. I feel like then he'd have like a little more of a sort of like genuine, like you're no nonsense. Yeah. Like seeing why you're talking to Wally and Arman and them just like leaving the room. That's why I don't want to speak to animals. A, because most of animals I think if we could communicate with them, they'd just go, ah. Yeah, yeah, they'd be scared.

They don't want to talk to us. And then I think my dog, given the chance, would be like, leave me alone. Wow. No, I don't think that would be true at all. While in normal, we're just constantly like, give us our freedom. I'd be like, fuck. Like, that would suck. Well, I like when they, you know, because like they, when they taught, you know,

Coco the gorilla to speak through sign language and, you know, who knows? No, they didn't. I know. Sometimes they say that's maybe not real or whatever, but all Coco would say it was like, you like monkey want food show nipples monkey want food because Coco really like seeing like people's nipples yeah so now I do kind of believe it's real that that actually does feel like the one thing a monkey would fix it on

of like why are you covering your nipples yes yeah that's suspicious yeah they're like she loved Robin Williams I'll tell you Coco she cried when she found out he died she loved Patch Adams Betsy will sit she'll send me videos of her sitting on her side of the couch Wilma's on my side of the couch because I don't have a side of the couch.

It's the dog's side. And Betsy's just saying her name and Wilma will not turn around for like as long as you're allowed to make a video and send to someone. Like there's a length where you're like, I need to cut this off because who will watch. It's that long and the dog will not turn around. I don't like it's rude. It is so insulting. I don't want to give that dog.

I don't want to know what she's thinking. That's that's and also I'm like like what if Wally is mean or, you know, know what he makes fun of me or says i think the biggest problem if if nick could talk to animals would be nick could find out every one of your guys like deepest darkest secrets oh yeah what have your cats seen yeah they've seen some stuff they've they've heard some stuff like i sometimes this is a thought i had when i was high one time i was walking around silver lake reservoir and there's a nice little dog park in there and this was during the the uh pandemic so i was having thoughts. And I remember sitting there

looking at all these dogs and going, wow, all these dogs have seen all these people jerk off. And then I thought like, do people, and this was before I was like a pet owner, kind of. So I was like, do people close the door and like usher the animals out of the room

when they're jerking off? Is there like a laziness that starts to occur? Well, here's what I'll say. She's not making eye contact with me. That's true. She's not standing up even. so if they are in the room they don't have like a view yes it's weird I've had the thought of like

am I a pervert is the next thing that I'm trying to get Wilma to come over and join like I've had all the thoughts right they're not actively participating no I know that but they are they are a living being that is in the room funny enough I can't jack off without them in the room

so is your like is your the human need for privacy when doing a shameful act. Extend to animals. I mean, this is my fault for bringing you back to jerking off. I thought we were done talking

about it, but I did have that thought. It is very funny to see like Irma putting her head out taking a shit. It does feel like a little bit like she doesn't want me to see her, but I'm watching. We watch them. I think that's pretty insane. Like, the way my dog poops is her back, her big ass feet

are like in duck feet. Like, I don't know what ballet position it is, but like toes out. and her back is so curved and then she looks at me like do you have to watch and I do, I watch so it's like it kind of evens the score. I've had the same thought

because Jimmy will stare at me while she's pooping and I'm like do you want me to not like look and I read that they actually look at you because that's their most vulnerable when they're pooping and they're depending on you to protect them in that moment so they're like you got my back mom while they're taking a shit. Now I stay directly in her eyes and this is why

when Mitch has to go to the bathroom on set I will walk with him and I'll look him in the end. I'll leave the door open. I'll say, it's totally fine. I say, good boy. I say, good boy, good boy. We have a few more pages to get through today. And then you get a treat.

Let's just, I'll just say, oh, you go ahead. You go first. The first time I brought someone home sexually once I had the dog, because it was like pandemic, very weird times. And I was literally curious how she was going to react. So I asked him if it was okay if I left the door open so that she could, like, come in and out. Because I thought if I had the door closed, she might kind of freak out.

And she fully thought this person was attacking me. But she was cool. She was cool. She was a good wing woman after I, like, shoved her up. We've talked about this before, but a dog bit my dick. We've talked about... Famously, a dog bit Mitch's dick. We all mill the dog bit my bear dick.

Yes. And drew blood. And then passed away from starvation. Yeah. Was the dog... Jesus Christ. He bit my dick and then passed away from starvation? Just not enough protein.

So now you've been bar mitzvah. Was the dog's name Moyle? I believe we've said this in the podcast before, but I'll say it against the game up. When this, the night this happened, Mitch sent a group text that is like, I remember there's like 14. There's a lot of people on that. At least the time there was. Mitch just sends that group text with no other context. a dog bit my dick

and then does not reply for like six hours yeah like are you in the hospital what's left cow I did I did bleed that we think that they thought it was the Kong toy which we've said before which is kind of like a little

so your dick is a red honeycomb you put peanut butter in it and there was peanut butter on my dick to be clear yeah that's just fun but it's masturbation because it's your dog Really looked up con toys. Oh, you're laughing? Yeah, they think they thought it was a con.

We think it thought it was a con toy. Wait, you are, you are totally skating over the fact that that a con toy is a red, like honeycomb shapes. What are you talking about? We think that it maybe thought it was her Kong toy. That's, that's all we can think. No, I know, it's what? She's asking what. What does your dick look like?

It looks like a con toy. I know his cum is red, so. So? It don't look like much. It looks, I mean, Kong Toi ain't bad, I don't think. But is it bright red, Mitch? My dick is not bright red. Okay.

That's what I'm waiting for you. Is it shaped slightly like a snowman? It's, it's, no, it's not shaped like a snowman. I think the dog was confused. Yeah, I agree with that. I think what happened. I also think you were attacking your partner? Yeah, yeah.

Was it, were sexual things happening? No, I think it's just like, I don't know what it thought, honestly. I think what happened is that the dog had some old school 3D glasses on and closed one eye. And it was like, whoa, it's coming at me. Weird bulbous thing. It's red. Mitch's dick the ride. I, first of all, it sniffed my butthole first.

Okay. And then my bare butthole and then it bit my bare dick. I think that this is a sort of, this is one of those great reasons to maybe close the door, let the dogs do their own thing for a little bit. do. I got back at her, though. I went down on her for like five minutes. On the dark. All right. Gemmy switched couches. So twisted metal coming at. I would never do that to you, Gemmy. A ton of artists coming together. It really is. Let's talk about Coldstone Creamery, founded in 1988.

Hold on a second. Before we get into that, I just want to talk about animal communication. I would love to ask this animal community. I would love to ask her that question of what she is doing. But we got to talk about Pi Khan the Mighty Telcun, which is an animal you can communicate with. That's true. Yeah. Well, actually, that's a great question. How does that work? Is it telepathy? Is it through the, you know, the waves that it's generating with the sound waves and underwater? Like, I'm not quite sure exactly what's going on. I inferred some sort of a telepathic connection. Because why would, why would a, you know, a Navi intuit the, the, the communication

language of the mighty tolcun. I mean, look, I think that we're close enough now to ask the both of you. Are you excited about fire and ash? I had a really good time seeing Avatar 2. Oh, yeah. High as hell on Christmas. And I'll do that again. Yeah.

And I will do it again. But it doesn't like mean anything to me. Sorry. Like ice cream. The movies haven't quite moved me. But to be fair, to be fair, I have not. seen one in theaters with the 3D experience. So this will be the

first one I go to theaters and see. So I'm excited. What do you like to? Avatar 2 is going to be back in theaters. We'd like to go with me and Jono. Johno is. I don't think the movies are like blowing me away, but am I excited for a big budget fucking crazy movie to come out during the holidays? I'll watch it. I love the movies just

because they're just structured like, especially way of water, structured like video games. We're just going to new biomes and towns and just living there for a bit. And then there's a big set piece. But, I mean, they're so broad and they're so grand, kind of operatic and I don't know. I find them super engaging. And also, it's just like, this is, I think I've said on the podcast before.

And it's nothing particularly novel. But it's like, movies are a thing you look at and listen to. And these movies are just, they're just such spectacular. There's such spectacles on the big screen. Yeah. I saw Titanic for the first time two years ago. Wow. On Valentine's Day with Jendie Angelo and her husband, Lucas couple.

I swear that I would never see it just to spite a girl in the fourth grade because I missed seeing it because I had to have Shabbat dinner with my family. And then when I got to the sleepover, everybody was talking about it. And Daria Glow said I would die if I didn't see it, like just something people say. And I just went, watch me not die, Darya. Oh, my God. And then I didn't watch it. But then to make amends. Is Dari still alive?

She's thriving and never thought about me, I'm sure. She's the Secretary of Agriculture. I guess I shouldn't say her name and her job, but she's doing really well. But she, I watched it because I had to miss Jen's Bachelorette party for some stupid gig playing a fortune teller at the Detroit Auto Show. But I really needed the money. So I swore to Jen, like, to make it up to you, I will break my lifelong vow. And I will watch your favorite movie Titanic. Wow.

And it is really good. Yeah. I don't want to hear more about this. It's a camera. It was such a bummer. At a FinCon, a financial convention, they have a convention for everything. We got Comic Con. We got FinCon.

And I sat in a booth for Ally Bank. They wanted me to wear a turban. And I had to like stress over like, how am I going to not wear this turban? Like I can't wear the turban and it did not come in the mail. So I didn't have to wear a turban. But I wore an Ann Taylorloft, white suit and an ally purple. shirt. I should take that off my headshot. We'll wear turban. Yeah, I think you should maybe, even if you don't want to print new ones,

just kind of blacked out the line. It's on your resume. It's on your headshot. Yeah, yeah, it's on the front. Yeah, you're holding up a sign in your head shot. You have a Celtics hat on and you point to it and say, we'll make this turban. But I just like sat in a booth and when people came by, I just was like, show me your wallet and I'll tell you your fortune. And I would look at like a dollar and be like, This wrinkle on this $5 bill says you're going to fall. I had like guidelines of what I was allowed to say. And I could, I would be like, this means you're going to fall into a delicious dinner with an interesting stranger.

Like I kept it positive because I was supposed to. And no matter what I said, people were like, really? I'm going to find $100. And you weren't even wearing a turban. And I wasn't even wearing a turban. I'm not a real fortune killer. I don't have a turban. Somebody's watching this right now.

I was like, no. The people who came to a financial convention also happened to be the people who are very susceptible to a totally fake activation in a booth. Anyway, I saw Titanic and it was really, really good. I had no idea that Bill Paxton was in it. Oh, yeah. Like, there's a whole second movie in the present day. Could have taken that right out. And wait, did I show, I think I might have shown you the alternate ending in the writer's room.

Have you seen the alternate ending? The iceberg thing? No, there's an alternate ending on YouTube The ship is really strong in the icebergs. Like, what is it that happens to the old? It's a kind of... She throws the... You know, she throws the

heart of the ocean and then she's like, oh fuck, oh fuck, she dies it after. No, there is a crazy ending where like, God, I wish I'll look up what it happens in it, but it's a really insane alternative thing. The abyss people find the gem. Yeah, they're like, whoa, what's this? The whale from Avatar too swallows it and that's how they get.

Wait, can I say something about Avatar really quick? So Avatar is something that I like don't necessarily, it's not one of my favorite things. I think I just wasn't in on it when it came out. It's like, it's a weird way it hit culture. Like it was a little bit of a laughing stock and then we've all come around to being like, it actually is good. I don't know why we're making fun of it. But what I liked about the second one was I was like, this is a Craven cash grab.

Like not a crap, but it's like a big. giant expensive movie but like the people who made this are extremely passionate when you say craven cash grab do you mean craving the hunter yeah he's in there uh whatever no but I'm like it is it's it's like a Hollywood thing like we're making

a big giant movie but the people who made it are so fucking passionate about it and I've like seen people talk about like you know Cameron and how passionate it is about it some of the effects people like definitely get fucked over in that world but the movie just looked like it was made with

like a lot of care and And it's something I like. And twisted, like, not to be, bring it back to Twist the Metal, but like, I've been able to watch all of Twisted Metal as a producer. And I know how much we put into it. And seeing, like, how much our VFX supervisor, Josh, put into it, and how much the stunt people put into it and how it all comes together, like, I'm a person who will just cry watching something that I made because it's not even because it's sad or moving.

I'm just like, I can't believe this got made. sure um and i think that way about like avatar i can't believe he got he made avatar like that there's something so crazy about that yeah and i think this season of twisted metal has that same feeling of like when we started thinking about this season it was like well we'll see what actually happens because like we have all these crazy ideas and then it all gets paired down and it all it's crazy and i like love this season so much i'm very passionate about it and i it reminds me of like yeah it might not be everyone's cup of tea, but, like, people put so much fucking work into this. Right.

And being on set and seeing the actors and everyone from, like, the top and bottom of the production put so much fucking work into it. I could talk to you about, like, our costume designer and how much work she put into, like, every detail of the show. So I just wanted to sell it, like, if you like Avatar, you like Twisted Metal. I love it. I agree with you. You were there.

I mean, you saw how much fucking work went into the show. A thousand people. People are so passionate about it still who have. not you know i haven't seen them in years i see them posting about the show they're like super excited and just just the timeline you're talking about which is you know what would the north of 18 months start to finish an insane amount of work but like when you see something like avatar get made and it's on screen it's like for me it might not be my favorite thing but i'm gonna just respect it by going to see it and i just think people should give twisted metal a shot like it is there's so

much passion in this show and um i think it comes across i think that's perfectly said i i saw i was at Comic-Con this last weekend. Yes. And I saw George Lucas. I went and saw his panel. Oh, yeah, I heard he was there. What was he talking about? He was talking about the Lucas Museum. Yes, yes. Uh, and I, come in LA next year. Yeah. Yeah. And he was talking about story and stuff. And he was talking about, well,

Guillermo del Toro had a thing about, about, that was anti-A-I. Can't make art on an app. You can't make art on an app. And that is, and that is, and look, some things are your cup of tea. Yeah, I am a little cranky boy. There's a lot of stuff I don't like. And, and, and, but, uh, but for sure, there were so many creative people that made the show and that's what George Lucas was talking about to. Oh, we almost had a spill. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Mitch, you were saying something very heartfelt night. I spilled in the middle of it. Hey, it's a doughboys episode, man. You know what? I almost spilled on Emma earlier. It's, uh, it's fine. I'm just gonna, I don't have to finish the point. Oh, what did George Lucas say?

No, Mitch, you spill. Spill your thoughts. Spill your heart. He was talking about how, like, he was talking about family and how, like, all the, like, he's talking about stories and effects. And he's like, story comes, first, and you guys did such a great to compliment you guys. The story is

there, and he was, he's equating it to family. He's like, he's like, it's a story about family and like Star Wars is and like all these things. And in the end of the day, twisted metal also is a story about family. Not, you know, not a traditional family, but. How was, how was Lucas saying it, though? I kind of sound a little bit like this.

Waddo has a family. You know, like, he's not wrong. he was great he was making great points as with Guillermo del Toro and the third guy who was in the IOLM documentary

I forget his name Oh that documentary is so fucking good He's like the star of that doc Is what I've heard But they were just making great points And it relates so much To what you guys wrote in the room And it's like

You know like the story came first And you guys It's such a great job And it's a fantastic season of a show Yeah we should We talked about this a little bit With MJ But I mean we should

We should dedicate a little bit of time To like Because you have There's existing lore For Twisted Metal Lob obviously. There's some existing canon, but it's relatively, at least for my knowledge of it, y'all have spent a lot more time with the IP, but it's like a less defined versus some other video game added. Every new game kind of uses some stuff from the past, but redefines characters

and redefines realities. There's a whole game where it's kids playing and like with remote control cars. Like it is a pretty wide open canon, which I like so that we don't necessarily have to be tied to a bunch of like, you know, his last name is solo kind of stuff. Sure, yeah. We do some of that, which I think is pretty fun. But, yeah, we just, we get, we get to like, to use George Lucas's term. Like, we rhyme with the games a lot. Yeah.

Like, I think a lot of stuff we try to do is, like, something like that happened in the game, so we're going to do something like that, but a little bit different. And, yeah, it was fun to think of ways to do it. A lot of brand new shit that we just came up with. Yeah. It is, I did not grow up playing the game. There were people in the room who did. So, like, so many different resources in that way.

And then, of course, we just would look stuff up constantly. It was so fun to learn how absolutely wacky the game was, like, on the job. But it is also so wide open. Like, Quiet's an invented character. Yeah, you know, there are multiple new characters for the show and then characters from the game. And there's just a lot going on and a lot to take care of. And MJ is so good at, like, you know, we will have an idea. that's kind of fan servicey and then MJ will like figure out this way to make it like

perfectly fan servicey for the people who play the games and if you've never seen any of it you'll be like well that's just funny it felt a lot more like fodder for comedy rather than having to like just kind of adapt an existing story so there could be those nods and a lot of really fun minor characters were inspirations but then also things were we got to just like pitch characters yes there are some characters that hit the cutting room floor that I'm like God, I won't say them because maybe they will be used in the future, but there were some dumb ideas that I do think people will be like, oh, that is from the game. We'll be like, no, just we thought of that. I thought of some stupid guy.

But they fit in, but then you're like, this is a little too funny. And then you're like, okay, okay, they invented it. But I know a lot of people who won't continue with watching The Last of Us because they're like, I know what's going to happen. Yeah, or they saw enough deviations from the established story, which I've, you know, I've played the shit out of the last of us. Last of Us games, and I do really like them as games, but like the story is so like, like, like established. And so if there's any sort of like, hey, we're going to make this narrative change for pacing or, or, you know, just because this is, this feels okay in a game, but feels weirder

on television or whatever, then the fans are going to naturally rebel. Yeah, but it's the most fun world to be in that, you know, MJ and you guys all did such crazy fun stuff for season one. and then to come in and it's basically like getting to write a like Looney Tunes. Like the characters are that huge

have that big of a game to play. It's also a comedy so we can do kind of whatever we want. Yeah. I'll tell you one character that we scrapped that I know we won't end up doing. So this is in, I know we're not going to do this.

So somewhere in the end of the season, there's a bit of something going on and someone goes to like what is like a rest stop. I'll just say And we were like What if this guy This is so dope boys

We're like What if this guy Collected common jars Okay Go on go on He was in for a really long time Multiple like ideation sessions of like

What are these episodes going to be like And I'm not giving away anything about the season But we cut the cum guy But not because Because he was a cum guy.

It was just not working for other reasons, but like, cum guy would have existed. We just lost so many Doe Boys listeners as viewers. The cum guy is cut. Yeah, there is an Easter egg, though. Let's get on X and maybe he can save the cum guy, okay? Yeah, it's like we will spend weeks talking about some cum guy and then we're like, yeah, let's move on to some other crazy things. God, that's fun.

It's a kind of fun job, yeah. Doe Boys listeners sitting in a darkened like Howard Hughes den filled with com jars. I want to see myself up on screen He's the one who sued us Which is why we couldn't do it The It's interesting to hear that process And I like I don't know

I think that's a you know Having seen and enjoyed season one And still as of this recording Not having seen season two Outside the clips have been released Like I don't know I've really enjoyed just seeing Where the show has gotten

I'm excited to see where it goes in season two Yeah This is my first time getting to I didn't go for filming like they can't bring everyone obviously but I got to sit in on some sound mixes and got to see some of the VFX and stuff

like before and after color correction so this is my first time getting to see that process I've just never been around or I've you know it's happening in another state and it is literally crazy how every single person who's touched it since the writer's room ended

is a genius of what they do an artist and really funny like the sound effects people are really funny because there's so many unique weapons and cars that like each one is given its own personality and attention. This is okay to say, right? I'm like, this is my first time getting to do it. And then I'm immediately like, you're never doing it again. I'm being cautious. But yeah, every single person. And they're like engineers. They have crazy skills. Have you guys given a shout out to Josh? No, but we should. Josh was our V.

VFX guy. One man VFX team on set running around with this little like Chrome ball. He rules. We would be shooting stuff and like something would just be like in the shot like a fucking big light. And we're so pressed for time and shit. It would just be like, Josh, can you paint that out? And the amount of things we threw at Josh, I was like, well, you know, these TV shows in VFX, it's like, oh God, like, do we have enough time to render them and make them look good? the finished product of what Josh was able to accomplish with the amount of money he had and just the schedule

and it is so fucking Herculean what he did. Shout out to Josh, RVFX supervisor. Just an incredible job. I mean, you see characters like Axel, like Josh did a lot of fucking work on that. And he has a fantastic sense of humor, which is so crazy to think of like, I don't have a tangible skill to fucking speak of.

Yeah. Pisses me. I know. He's all so funny. Because I think they have to, like, fully be tapped in to such a silly world to, like, you'd think it wouldn't matter. But every single person that I met, maybe they're not like, you know, talking about cum and pooping or, you know, getting on the mic. Oh, Josh was talking about Tom. That's the dumbest example. We fully did.

But they're maybe not like hams like we are. But they are so keyed in to what is great. about the show. So it's just, it was so, I hope they do a BTS. I was, I was screaming about that at the last. There, there were some stuff, I think. I don't know what will come out. People got to see the, the look, because it's magic what happened live, truly like actual stunts, actual explosions. I believe maybe Grant, someone told me that they set off the most explosions in Toronto during filming of Twisted Metal. Yeah, there was some crazy shit. People were seeing explosions from planes and stuff. It was crazy. And then, and then, you see that up there

either. It's very peaceful country. Yeah, very, very peaceful. Yeah. It's, I mean, we're obviously like plugging it, but it's really pretty cool. Do you want to maybe explain the chrome ball? Because he made him sound like he's doing magic or something. When you have to do like a VFX shot, you got to like kind of go into the shot empty and just like rotate this

chrome ball and do I know what it does? It looks like the T-1000s nuts. It does. Yeah. It absolutely does. The left one, the left one, the better one. Do I know what it does? You know that Nestex filled with some chrome comb. Okay, so people come is the color of them?

Is the same color of them? Yeah, it is now. Right, I don't want to tell y'all, but black people have been keeping a secret from you all for a long time. You lied earlier. Sorry. When the T-1000 shoots out of low, does it then just go back, like, into his foot? It forms into a little baby and starts being, like.

This whole time we were talking about calm and then skin color, I was just imagining you guys coming peaches and cream. Speaking of ice cream Speaking of peaches and ice cream Yeah That's I love the Josh shout out He's the best

I mean and also you guys were Such a great crew I mean the writing staff was so great And you can tell when you went in there And you're such funny people And that's where it all starts So it's I can say I cause you know I have no sticking this

Aside from being friends with y'all But like I just like you can feel the energy When someone is promoting something They're just like yeah you know This thing's coming even if they're turning it on for the podcast talking to them off pod

you can tell that they're just or they'll just candidly be with you like look it's like whatever it's not high art but I've got to promote this fucking thing everyone who's worked on Twisted Metal Season 2 is like so like happy with how it's come out and so proud of it and I think that's a very strong endorsement

for people to check it out it's a credit to they're not already watching it's a credit to the captain of course like MJ has made this incredible show and yeah I think people are going to fucking love it And Mitch is so funny in it No

We literally got to sit around at a table With really lovely, really funny people And just think of awful things to do to Mitch Some of them we didn't get to do Some will happen I literally have health insurance For another year

Thinking of horrible things Yeah Yeah the more you get hit in the nuts The more I get to like get a breast exam I won't lie. It does happen a couple times, at least. And Josh, you're listening, if you want to make me a little bit more jacked

before the episodes drop, a little jacked stew. Yeah, he wants to do some more of that. He's going to give you two chrome balls. Yeah, a bunch of the episodes are already. We can do like a Lucas re-release of the with Jack stew. Yeah. Wig's, you know I like Helix League.

mattresses. I got one in my home. I'm sleeping in it every night. It's like sleeping on a cloud. That's right, Wags. I have the Moonlight Lux mattress. I love it. Wally and Irma love it. My mom and sister are visiting. You know what? Sometimes I go and take the couch. I let them have

it to you, and they love it, Wags. And I know you had that Helix mattress for some time. You got a lot of good use out of it. That's right. I've had it for almost seven years now. Wow. I know seven full years. It's almost time for new Helix. But, you know, Helix is convenient. They deliver right to your door. It's easy to set up. The pricing is great. They match you with a mattress online if you take

the Helix sleep quiz. I love it, Wags, and I think our listeners would love it too. I have a question for you, Mitch. Actually, I'll give you two barrel question. Go for it. How is your sleep improved since you've gotten your helix mattress? And how has your improved sleep helped your everyday life? Well, Wags, as you know, my sleep has gotten a lot better in the last year. One, I'm using my CPAP. Two, I have a comfortable bed that I'm sleeping on. I'm like a reverse Dracula. I'm actually sleeping at night. Wow. That's right.

It can be helpful for snoring, back pain, sleep apnea, as you mentioned, sleeping through the night or sleeping too hot. Go to helixleep.com slash doughboys for 20% offsite wide, exclusive for listeners of doughboys. That's helixleep.com slash doboys. And why, you maybe have noticed on the podcast that I got my sleeping because I'm a little bit quicker. You know, Mitch, cold brew at home.

Used to feel like a whole thing. It did feel like a whole thing, Wiggs. Until we tried Trade. Wow. They deliver beans roasted specifically for cold brew, plus the gear to make it simple. They grind the coffee for you, too. So when it arrives, you can just scoop it into a pitcher with enough water, store that bad boy in the fridge overnight,

and wake up to something that tastes as delicious as your and my favorite coffee shop. It's that easy, Wiggs. Trade is the number one coffee destination in the U.S. for both hot and cold coffee drinkers. Wow. They've sourced the best beans from top roses across the U.S. and now have a special cold brew collection.

Wow. Trade makes it effortless to make your own cold brew at home that's both delicious and at an amazing value. And they don't just stop at beans. They also provide expertly curated equipment that's easy to use

so you can make amazing coffee at home that is both better flavor and a better value than cafes or concentrates. Wow. Plus, they've teamed up with 15 roasters to create a special cold brew bean collection that ensures your cold brew at home tastes exactly how it should, smooth and delicious. Wags, you're a big cold brew nut. Yeah, you know, I say my veins are practically flowing with cold brew. I drink so much of the stuff. I'd say that the coffees that have been sent from trade have been a lot of fun. It was so easy to make delicious cold brew at home with Trades' cold brew kit.

Wags, I know you liked the cold plunge cold brew by drink coffee, do stuff. That's right. I know it was super fresh. The bean smelled fantastic. You were in Java heaven. I was in Java heaven, but also I was in customer heaven with the elegant subscription experience, how seamless it was to get quality cold brew delivered to my home, that I could make in my home.

For a limited time, trade is giving 50% off a month of cold brew. That's around 60 cups of cold brew. cold brew for 50% off when you go to drinktrade.com slash doughboys. That's drinktrade.com slash doughboys to get 50% off one month of cold brew. Drinktrade.com slash doughboys. Do it. Coldstone creamery founded in 1988 in Tempe, Arizona, about a thousand locations globally owned by Kahala brands, same as Pinkberry, which we discussed on a recent episode. Yeah. And with Grant and Paddy.

which we thought with Pinkberry was fine kind of, right? I think we kind of landed a pretty negative space. I mean, I think we were like very lukewarm at best. Pinkberry sucks. But Pinkberry we weren't very excited about. Last reviewed in 2022, we did the Mario

menu with Heather and Matt, and they do a lot of branded tie-ins. It feels like with ice cream, twisted metal was a best opportunity for Coldstone cream. Honestly, I'd just say like with all the ice cream parlors that are out there, It feels like I know there was a Yeah, there was something in season one was it

Was it Salt and Straw or was it Jenny's? Oh yeah, it was Salt and Straw. Salton Straw season one, so there was there was a flavor But it feels like like, I don't know I don't think it was like available in a lot of stores It wasn't which I wish it had been They saved me a scoop because I wanted to try it So I really wanted to try it was mostly at Comic-Con

Yeah, and I think they were sending like pints to influencers Or some bullshit to What was the name? Do we know? Sweet tooth You know, it's like sweet toothed. Yeah, it was sweet tooth come. It was not sweet tooth come. That is not what it was called.

That's what we called it. How dare you? That's what you made at home. That's just Mitch's snack. That's her private reserve. That's her own map. So right now they are doing the birthday cake Oreo celebration promo. And one of the things they're pushing is the,

birthday cake Oreo ice cream taco. The problem is multiple code stones were out of stock of this bad boy. So we're not able to sample it, which I'm very disappointed by, because I'm a fan of the Chaco Taco Taco. I love birthday flavor. I was very excited to try

this novelty, and we just weren't able to do. I will say that, and I want to know what you guys think, the Chaco Taco is, I think, maybe my favorite childhood ice cream treat. Wow. In Miami, where I grew up like you would hear like an ice cream truck rolling down the street and you would grab 75 cents and like run out and try to catch it and when I caught that dang thing it was either

sometimes it was a chip witch but it was most of the time a chaco taco and that it's not and it's not just a cone and ice cream like there's some like caramelly shit going on in there the like chocolate dip cover like it was really something and when they had it a taco bell that was also A lot of fun. Chaco Taco was my number one. It is so good. So I was looking forward to trying this taco, but bummer they didn't have it. I found my ice cream truck, which by the way

played Rocka by Baby, which I've always thought was extremely creepy. I didn't think about it until I was like 11 and I heard it go, I lived by a park, so I'd hear it all the time and it's like, why are you trying to put us to sleep ice cream, man? What are you doing? It was all, the Chaco Chaco was always freezer burned. And so

this was really, I was excited. I think I didn't order it, but I was going to sneak a bite to somebody. Nick genuinely was excited. Like, you were actually really pumped for it. So I'm so sorry. I was excited to try one that was like at least more fresh

but it wasn't to be. Can I say something about my ice cream man as well? Yeah. Um, definitely sold illegal fireworks. Yes. Definitely sold probably drugs. What's your ice cream man sweet too?

I was like, I was just thinking, I was like, my ice cream hand was a kind of deranged lunatic. Yeah. I think he did get arrested at some point. I don't remember for what. We were always saying it was because he was like a pedophile or something. I think it was because of illegal fireworks. I hope it was that. Oh, yeah, yeah.

It was so much more fun. You hope he got away with the pedophilia? No, no, no, no. But it is interesting that Sweet Tooth drives an ice cream truck and is an absolutely deranged human being. Uh-huh. We all, I think, imagined them to be. Yeah. actually it's a mail truck it's a repurposed mail truck

oh that's really interesting you say that it's good that like yes but that's not on like on screen lore right that's like behind the screen it's an ice cream truck technical detail but it's canonically a ice cream truck it was hot as hell

that thing sucks I don't know if you guys have ever gotten to be inside did you ever go in it ever oh yeah I've done things in it but never when it's like moving a true nightmare of a vehicle oh yeah I mean I there are parts of this where I was kind of worried for your safety specifically. I won't say for any reasons why,

but there was a lot of... Yeah, there may have been a moment or two, I remember that we probably can't say out loud. But, yeah, the truck is kind of a nightmare for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It leaked as well. But we had Don's joke shop, why, and that's where they sold pipes in the back room and stuff like that.

Oh, you're talking about Not for ice cream novelties, but for Like a secret drug shop Yeah, secret drug shop was Don's jokes So they'd be like a whoopie cushion, then you're like I want to like smoke weed out of a pipe And then they have pipes in the back room Yeah, sad to hear you can't feed your family off whoopee cushions alone

The whoopie cushion business is slow You can't have a brick and mortar if you're doing whoopie cushions Don's joke shop was stayed up until like the 2010s I was like shocked that and I think it was just because it was a head shop basically in disguise. Do you have anything like that? Well, I mean, the one I'm thinking of just was there was a store in West L.A.

called famous sports videos that was like you'd walk into it. It looked like it was sports memorabilia. And they had a bunch of just like, this was back in the, you know, VHS DVD days. They'd have like a bunch of videos of like, you know, like the greatest dunks or sports bloopers or whatever the fuck.

But then the guy would be like, hey, you want the really good stuff, the really good stuff. So the back and then the back of the store was all porno. Hell you. There are no. in this goddamn world. No, no, no.

We had, we would go to Venice Beach to buy tobacco pipes. Yeah. And then, like, you know, a bunch of, like, 16-year-old girls. And then they'd be like, do you want to test it out? And then they would close down the, you know, shade of this, like, beachfront shop. And then they really sold Salvia. Oh, wow. I paid so much money for Salvia.

Oh, my God. So, like, you're a kid. You'll pay. Wow. Salvia, a highly hallucinogenic drug, you probably trip harder than you ever have for about a minute. It's really good for when you're a kid

and you have to go home and do homework. Yeah. I recommend it. 18 and under. When I was a Boy Scouts are camping in this park once and I went into the men's room and it was one of those, you know, like someone has like graffiti on the walls.

Good way to start a story. In the Cub Scouts, you went to a men's room. Well, boy scouts. a little water than that. But yeah, but in the, in the men's room, someone had written like, like, if you want your dick sucked, like, come back here like this, you know, like, like, like Wednesday night at this time. And we're being on this camp out. And we're like hours from where we live. But I was like trying to be like, okay, if I get on a bus, I can be here in three hours. I can come in here and get my dick sucked. Well, I don't

No, no, because I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm just a horny kid's brain, so I'm just like, oh, if I come here on Wednesday night, I can just get my dick sucked and that would be, like, my life would be better. This sounds like a really fun, like, kid comedy where it's like, said to lose your virginity, it's like, dude, I can get my dick sucked in the forest bathroom. And it's either way long gone that they wrote this or this person has a standing appointment on Wednesdays. Yeah, or and also, what would they do if a child showed up? Probably not like, Not good. Probably not be a good situation for them. I think the end of it is it's a memento situation where you wrote it.

And then he gets up there and he's like, well, I guess he'll suck me a little bit. Oh my God. So we did get the birthday cake Oreo ice cream taco, but we did get the, at least I got the birthday cake Oreo celebration. The sizes they have.

What year is it for cold? Coldstone, what is it, what's, what's the celebration here? I don't know if they're celebrating an anniversary. That's what I was going to ask. They found in 1980. It sounds like it's just like they have birthday cake flavor and they want to, it's not like a big milestone for coldstone. I don't think, what? It's 37.

The big 37. No, it's more that like, I, this like, you know, the, I, I think just like it's, it's the name of this sort of a, the birthday flavor. Like, it's just that sort of, like, a celebration is just like a little bit of, of language to evoke that. I will say it seemed like on their menu they had a lot of birthday cakes available. So maybe it is kind of a birthday vibe place. It's also birthday cake Oreo is the flavor combo, right? Right. So maybe it's a birthday cake part is the celebration.

Oh, right. Okay. Or maybe Oreos got a big big B-Dad coming up. I would like media right now. It just says birthday cake Oreo celebration. So I'm thinking birthday celebration. I think they're using celebration liberally. I think they are too.

But yeah, it's more just part of the copy. So anyway, it's this is birthday. cake Oreo cookie ice cream, birthday cake Oreo cookies, rainbow sprinkles, and Oreo cookie frosting. We also got a couple of those for the table since we're not able to get the tacos to share. Look, I love a tsunami alert warning

for tonight. Anyways, keep going. I love birthday flavor. I love the birthday Oreos. Golden birthday Oreos are my favorite. What's going on? What happened? Oh, a second.

Is there a tsunami? What did what's going on? I will not die in HeadGum's studio. I also was reading the tsunami warning. That usually means there was an earthquake somewhere, right? It's in Japan. It says for Japan and Hawaii for right now, but Southern California soon. Okay.

Okay. That's a little stressful. Look, if we're going to swim out of headgum together, we'll do it. I got to sleep on the Queen Mary once shooting something for abominable pictures when I was an assistant. Otherwise, I would have had to drive home at like two in the morning, come back at six. They got you a hotel room on the Queen Mary? It was already rented out for shooting. I literally actually can't remember which show, but some show that's...

scary as hell? Well, I woke up to a thousand missed calls. It wasn't scary. I would have been scared. I don't like ghosts and I know it's haunted. I was so tired. I didn't even sleep. I like passed out there. And I woke up to 1,000 calls from my mom and the line producer who is a nice woman. Randy Baldwin, I'll shout her up. And there was a tsunami warning. And to these two kind women, they were like, gillies at sea. Oh, yeah. She's on a boat. It's not a good place to be. And I like see all these calls and I just listened to the most recent voicemail that's like fully panicked like there's a tsunami get out so I like literally put a bra on over my shirt go running out into the like hallways of the Queen Mary and everyone is unbothered completely it is actually not alarming at all

and you're also not at sea the Queen Mary is fully attached by like it is completely stationary basically on land like you're like over the side of the water and I did not get to sleep in at all, and it was totally pointless that I slept there. That's terrifying. That's a great story. I was woken up so scared, and then absolutely nothing happened. You think the ghosts are going to get in, and then it's a wave. And it's a tsunami.

Ghost ship. And there are ghosts in the ocean, famously. That's twisted metal lore. Yes, ghosts in the ocean. That's twisted metal lore. Look, I love birthday flavor. I like rainbow sprinkles. I think they're a lot of fun.

This had some Oreo cookie, I love this, and I'm eating this, and I'm like, because again, the sizes are, like it, love it, and got to have it. Yeah, that sucks. I don't like that. I'm eating this. I got myself a like it. I'm like, got to have it. You wanted to get a got to have it.

This is fucking good. I really liked it. But also, this is so up my alley. This is like so specifically for me. And I'm curious y'all's reactions to it. Because Mitch, you seemed less enthused. I didn't like. I didn't.

You didn't like it. I don't got to have it. I don't love it. I don't got to have it. I don't even like it. You didn't even like it. Wow. I got to say this.

It is so artificially birthday flavor to me, which is an artificial flavor anyways. There's no like you can't get like genuine birthday, organic birthday flavor. But it's to me, this is my complaint about Coldstone creamery. Just a sugar, the sugary sugar bomb there ever was. It's so sugary to me. I just am not. especially the birthday cake flavor was was was the bottom of my list here's what's interesting about cold stone like when that place first came out it was cool to go and watch them mash up all the

ice cream in front of you yeah to see to pick your toppings and get it all mashed together like but you don't like that anyway you don't like that but i'm at least seeing it and it's it's it's not like vinegar and fucking oil or whatever sure sure so the to not the fact that they have their own like concoctions and like that's not fun for me like to me cold stone is like I go there I see what my eye catches in their little candy whatever and I mix it all together and I eat a bunch of trash so to have them be like this is our special invention or our own little version of it it just takes some of the fun out of cold so you could have customized it I could have but I didn't go there and I think part of it too is like you I like watching them

fucking put it on the cold slab and sure yeah that is cool cold stone like that that that That is what was cool about it. Look, I do like that there is a cold stone that they make the thing on. That is, I think that is a point for Coldstone creamery. It's just what comes off of that. It's a cool gimmick. They paved the way for the rolled ice cream craze that's completely fucking stupid. Where they just literally freeze or burn your ice cream and then curl it up.

What did you think, Gileas, someone who kind of likes, doesn't really like ice cream? So Coldstone was my pitch, because I think it's really funny. Yeah. I think it's so funny. that there's exactly like you said, like you go and you point to some things and then they literally just like Swedish chef style to toss it up.

It was also like an event when I can't believe that it was open in 88 because I didn't get it in my neighborhood until way later. No, I remember, well, because like, I remember when it came to the West Coast. And, you know, obviously started in Arizona, but like actually to, you know, to the Pacific.

I remember it was a similar sort of thing. I was, I was, I was, my brother was in college at the time, I was staying with him. And he, there was one that opened in San Diego. It was like, we got to go to fucking colds. Yeah, there's fucking big lines. You were like, oh, I'm going to take the girl. I'm kind of want to take on a date the cold zone.

Like it was an event. Yeah, maybe it's Beyonce and your name is Kowalek. Yeah, me and Beyonce are going to go. That lie that he's told us for years. Yeah. Yeah, McAulac told us he took a Beyonce too. And while he was in high school, he also went to Beyonce's high school in Houston. And he said he and Beyonce had a day date at Coldstone Cremory.

And then he also said that Jay Z kicked his ass at the backstage of the BET Awards? Wasn't that what Qualick said? Is this true? Qualick at the backstage of the BET Awards itself. I'm writing on it. I bet you Qualic saw a Queen Bee near a Coldstone

Pringery. And that's like what he led to his lie. He like flicked it inside. That's cool. This guy Jordan that was in like my circle of friends worked at the Coldstone at the Calabasasas Commons and it was like one of the later open

things in my neighborhood, which is so sad, like what social lives we're able to have. And at like 8.58, he would get to start cleaning up and he would lock the front door so that all the customers that were in could leave, but no new customers would come in. So we would all slip in at like 857 and then wait till all the regular customers would leave. And then we would make the most disgusting ice cream creations. Wow. Like I kind of do that sometimes. Like I like to make us. I was going to say, Yeah. So probably other people made good stuff, but I would be like just everything in there. So it was a bad mix. So I actually really appreciate when they have suggested this was really the best time I've ever had because I don't know like I always want to put one thing too much. Yeah. I'm customizing it too much. And so this was the most I've ever enjoyed Coldstone because I got to sample the tried and true like founders favorites. Like there's there's some like a lab creating these. mixtures right there's like a whole team of people totally agree give me some curation tell

don't make me make the decisions you make the decisions i like like i because you can get analysis paralysis trying to come up with a perfect concoction and then you can also fuck yourself and you add to like you were saying you had too many things and all of a sudden it's uncapachka i'm not enjoying this anymore you know like i thought that was part of the fun but i see why it's like all right give me something that you guys have curated but i thought part of the fun was like getting in there and trying stuff if you can be trusted i yeah i think i think it just depends on your your personality type or yes your judgment is an individual i always am just stressed out and so i like having something where they're just saying this is one we think works

here's what i'll say about the stuff we got today yeah um other than the banana one that i think gilly got uh this was banana caramel crunch french vanilla ice cream with roasted almonds banana and caramel other than that like they're all kind of tasted this thing and and i'll also say i mean we did get a few birthday cakey things but like i like anytime i got a big chunk of something i was happy like i think i had some cookie thing in mine and there were some chunks of brownie and some other stuff like hey give me some chunky ice cream i'm down with it but like now that i sit here like i don't know, an hour and a hour and 40 plus minutes from eating the ice cream, I do not remember one distinct thing about any of the ice creams except for the banana one.

And I just feel gross. You just feel gross and sugared out and creamed out. The cake batter, batter, batter, which one you got gilly, cake batter ice cream with cookie dough and brownie, if I blind tasted that with the birthday cake Oreo celebration, I'm not sure if I could discern one from the other. I think that's a fair question. disappointed in that one. I got it because I wanted to get one of the pun names.

I mean, a lot of dough puns in there. Yes, a lot of dough puns. I mean, they're made for you. I thought the name was funny. It is funny. It's coming in on our television. This is like mostly what our podcast is doing dough puns. I thought it was weird that it was three batters

because isn't it like, Hey, bad a batter, better. Like, or or you should do hey, batter, batter, batter. Or it should be like five to ten. Yeah. I think three was strange. Maybe the, maybe it's like supposed to be cake batter, batter, batter. Okay.

Like it's like cake batter, batter, butter is one thought. You know, I don't know. Still. I like that voice change you did there. Yeah, yeah. Camellian. Cake batter, batter, batter. Whoa.

Where does wiger end and the voice begin? The ice cream tasted, I think it was supposed to be, can you read the ingredients? Do you have them handy? Cake batter, batter, batter, batter was cake batter ice cream with cookie dough and brownie. And then the cookie, don't you want some was French vanilla. ice cream with chocolate chips, cookie dough, fudge, and caramel so some overlapping ingredients. Yeah, the cake better or better. It's the same

exact thing. And if that ice cream was cake batter flavored, you missed me. Yeah, sure. It was just like sweet, creamy. But yeah, the chunks of cookie dough were rocked, but you're like, also I don't love that all of these creations are spoon only.

You can't lick a cold stone ice cream. Well, and the other thing that happens is, actually, I do want to ask you, Gilly, but before I forget, Did you get to work the cold stone or was Jacob doing it? Jordan. Jordan, I apologize. Oh, my God.

We all completely abused that location. He let people behind the counter. We weren't like purposely trying to be, I didn't, no one like spit in anything. It wasn't like super mean-spirited. But I think it's that thing when you're a kid where you find out someone has something you want and then everyone swarms on them until it's a nightmare for that person. So yes, I did get behind. they did the thing with the tip jar

Is that every location? It was like they sang a They rang a bell It was like very jamba juice They would sing like us Like just sort of like It's a circle of lot And then be done

Like it was very very brief I think that's okay I remember corporate And I don't I don't think I like it I agree I don't And I don't like the Because when I've When I've witnessed it happened

You put some cash in the tip jar And someone's like hey we got a tip And they got you know Like camp town races saying this You know, they're all doing some fucking song. And it felt like always kind of joyless from the staff or whatever. Yeah, the tip is supposed to be for what they did. Not to pimp them into doing something.

Yeah, yeah. It was a little sad, but I would like beg people to pretend to tip me and I would sing a lot. That's funny. But, yeah, I got behind the stone. The ice cream is harder to work, I think, than you think. They really spend a while. I never did that. It looks like Benihana.

I'll disclose something that I say in my intro that I found in my research for this, revisit a Coldstone Grammy that didn't realize you may be heard of Marble Slab. Marble Slab I was assumed as Coldstone ripoff. Marble Slab predates Coldstone. And in fact, Marble Slab was itself a ripoff of another ice cream concept, steves that came about in the 70s and that invented the whole idea of mix-ins on a cold slab. And Steve didn't even call it mix-ins or I got a cold-ins. Steve, Steve

copyrighted the term mix-ins but sold off his business before it became a whole thing. This is a very high drachs versus Oreos situation. This is a writer's instinct. That's the crux of my intro. Okay.

People heard this at this point, yeah. Cool. Yeah. Should Nick and Gilly host a podcast together? They seem so on the same wavelength. I really like the research part that they do. Marbles, I've never been to a marble slab.

Yeah, we've never heard of it on the podcast. I think it has less of a presence in California. I think Colestone Creamery is a good name. I agree. And I think the concept is a good concept. I just think like eating what we ate today, maybe because it was like outside of the store, just felt unremarkable to me.

Like, I truly did not like. You didn't like it. I'll say this right now. It's hard to say for me. I'm like, it was fucking sugary ice cream. What am I not liking? really. If they turned every cold stone creamery into a hot stone gravery tomorrow, I would be fine with it. The opposite of a creamery is a graver. A hot stone gravery?

Are you saying like it's a grave? Like they're dead? So it's still a stone. They're mixing gravy to order. They're mixing gravy to order. And a hot stone. Or they're dead so it's a grave. Sounds kind of good. I'll be honest. Not a bad idea. A mashed potato place with like custom gravy. Six different gravies. That's what I'm saying. A hot. Hot Stone Gravery. Here's what I like. And then if you tip them, if you tip them instead of singing, they all go, fuck you. You piece of shit.

Wait, I pitched this to Betsy. We took a trip to Ohio and we were thinking of like what the food scene in Ohio is fucking fantastic. And we were talking like, what would you open here? Like what's missing from the scene? So my idea is a French fry place where you choose the potato, like you choose a lobster. We even have a tank just to be funny. Wow, that's funny.

You choose your potato that then gets cut and fried. So it's going to be a bit of... Can they cut it in like an electric chair? You know what I mean? Like, can it be like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a... It's a way to, like, flash a little electric chair.

Yeah, it's got the little cap and it's got like nodes stuck in it. Yeah, yeah, and there's little small potatoes watching it. Sure. But your, you're, you're a hot grave, hot stone gravery? Hot stone gravery. I feel like this is a really good restaurant. Wait, so. So, like, you're saying, like, yeah, you can have different types of potatoes. Different types of potatoes.

Maybe you've got, like, a russet, you got a sweet potato. Maybe you want to try, like, you know, like a Japanese sweet potato. Yeah, yeah, that'd be fun. And it's all getting fried. It's the freshest fries you've ever had in your life. Wow. There's potato corner, which I love. Those are frozen fries.

They'll, like, openly show you that they're frozen. So this is going to be a little bit more expensive, but, you know, it's still, still not too crazy. And here's, for sizes, you could go, one potato, two potato, three potato, three potato, three, potato, four. Wow, you could do that. One potato, two, potato, three. I'll have a four, please. That's a good idea.

I think it's a good idea. Why? Is that a potato count? It's one potato, two, potato. But is that how many potatoes you're getting? Yeah, yeah. So if you get four, that's like the most fries you can get. Yeah, so you're getting four potatoes with a fry.

So if you want three, you have to go, I want three potato. Yeah, yeah, I want three potatoes. Instead of just three. Yeah. Yeah, three potato. You have to say three potato. And if you say three, they'll say, what do you mean? Yeah.

Like if you order a small. at Starbucks. They're like... Yes. And then they take each potato, put them in a little electric chair. And they call, they call the governor just to see if he's gonna call it up. I love that idea too. And then it's like Green Mile, they like pull it and he starts frying.

Every, every, yeah, and bugs come out of its mouth. Yeah, that's a good idea. I think any, like every, it would be fun of every, like, few customers there are, like, the governor is like, he's free and you just don't get the fries. Like, they, like, the governor lets him. You get pardoned? He gets pardoned. And then on the outside.

of the restaurant, like there's a tunnel, like it was dug out and it's like a Morgan Freeman potato and he was like, he was my best fry. He was my best fry. I think that'd be good. I think it would be good. It would be really good. It would be really good. This is a great idea. Getting to like see the potato and then minutes later

you're eating a French fry, I think, and you chose, you know, I just identify with the knobs on this one potato. Shawshank potatoes. The problem is some of the free potatoes would be so used to, you know, having this sort of cloistered life where their every decision

is controlled. Can they even survive? Can they even survive? The answer is they can't. Because you're going to eat them. Yeah, they find them out of their misery. Right, yeah. So like there's a Brooks potato that hangs itself?

Yeah. This is good. Yeah. It is a great idea. Thank you. If you found a potato in a noose, would you feel like okay eating it? Knowing that potato had taken his own life?

So you're saying Epspud? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I'm saying it like that's sort of an F-SPUD. Yeah, yeah. I was on the F-SPUD list. Hell yeah, dude. I love potatoes. That's why I'm on the EPSBUD list.

I had a one, I had a, what is this? I had a like it. You had it, yes. Like it smart brooky. You had a, you had a one smart brookie, add fudge. And you had a small peanut butter cup. I'm sorry, a like-it peanut butter. cup perfection.

So this is the issue. Again, I talked about how the cookie don't you want some is French vanilla ice cream that comes with chocolate chips, cookie dough, and fudge. Mitch, you got the one smart, smart brooky. So you're essentially constructing the same thing because this one has classic cookie dough ice cream instead of vanilla ice cream as a base, brownie and additional cookie dough, plus you added fudge. So this again goes back to distance point of like these things all start to smear into

the same sort of thing. I'm happy I had fudge, but I did not. I don't know if you guys. It just tasted so much like everything else. and I don't think that they have a particularly good cookie dough ice cream there. I mean, like, I like a Ben and Jerry's pint way more than this. I can't even remember if it was good. I mean, just it tasted like cookie dough ice cream.

I'm not having an opinion on it. You know, it was like, slightly melted because we had, you know, it was Amelia's fault, of course. But I don't know. It just didn't leave a lasting impression. I will say there was some of that, like, we didn't get the taco thing. We did get one of the cones, which I think is. what was on the outside of the taco thing we kind of like

a loose waffle cone which Amelia added it we sort of put together the flavors of what it would have been I think the novelty of having it in the little taco might have made it more memorable absolutely that's a that's like an extra fork

it's just such a bummer that we didn't get to I know I'm really bummed the feeling on our tongues of like a chocolate coated yeah would have been totally different this is also a big thing with LTOs these days is it's a fucking bait and switch

we see this happening with Taco Bell all the time Mitch it's like they're like Like, hey, we have this new thing. And then you go there and like, oh, we're out of the sauce. Or like, oh, we don't have this thing. It's like, well, there's a whole fucking reason I came here. The window is too small with somebody limited time offers as Nick came. Here's what I'll say.

Taco Bell is essentially the same like nine ingredients that I never tire from again and again. Sure. And I feel like we basically had the same thing, but it was all one thing somehow. So they're not, or we had many different things. Yeah. But it all felt like one thing. Taco Bell innovates on the delivery system. whereas, you know, we're sitting around,

passing around like six cups of the same ingredients. It's like, it's kind of the same shit. Except for this motherfucker with his smoothie. I, well, okay, look. This is fucking bullshit. The thing you almost, when I was given my very, my twisted metal thoughts, you almost spilled it, is a smoothie that you got.

And that's not, it's not ice cream-wise. I can exclude the pineapple blueberry smoothie like its size from my review, if you would like, from my fork score. If we wanted to keep this ice cream focus. I did not know they had smoothies. And I was like,

I am going to have, and saying that, I bet we probably reviewed their smoothies on, like, the previous cold stone. I'm just completely fucking forgot it. But I was like, I want to see what a Coldstone smoothie is like, and let me tell you, this bad boy ain't bad. Wow. I believe you. I did, I almost spilled it while you were talking, and then I almost spilled it on Emma earlier. And then Emma was like, because Emma was over here adjusting some cables. And then like, I tipped it over.

It's like, oh, I'd rather you spill it on me than the carpet. The white carpet purple smoothie. I would not. I'd rather spill it on headgum shitty fucking carpets. What do you care about their carpets? I don't want to clean it. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, speak of your heels. I've much rather spill it on an employee than these beautiful carpets. Beautiful, irreplaceable, probably Amazon, carpet.

I think it's time that I reveal something. Yeah, please. So I already revealed that I don't like ice cream. Yes. I liked the banana caramel crunch. Wow. I thought it was fucking delicious. I thought it was good, too, the bite of it ahead of it.

It's the we're the weirder. You can say that, but they offered it on their set menu. It was, I had nothing to do with the creation of this ice cream. I didn't modify it. I will say it was the one I remember the most because it had a different flavor, slightly, chemically, whatever. But I will say recently I've gotten into these, these treats that are like little tiny, like, rounds of, like, frozen banana covered in dark chocolate.

Oh, yeah, we eat those. Sounds good. And you can have, like, four of them. and it's like 100 calories. And the banana, a frozen banana and chocolate, like it does kind of taste like ice cream. You can't, you can bite into a frozen banana without fucking with your tooth sensitivity.

Somehow, it just like really works. So the idea of banana and ice cream, it's a classic, like, thing that goes together. But I think those were some good bites. I mean, a little chemically and a more, like, more straight up banana flavored version might have been better, but. Take an umbrage with the chemistry.

I don't know that I agree about the chemically. I'm with you on the chemical. I didn't get it super chemically from the bites I had. There was an actual banana in there. I mean, like, I guess the chemical process of a ripening fruit. Is that what we're talking about? Well, let's get into it. So there's two banana flavors, of course.

The banana that we eat and then the banana candy flavor. Right. Those are different. The banana candy flavor comes from what bananas used to taste like before that variety died. and then we made this new clone of banana. It's also the reason we have slippery banana peel jokes in cartoons because the old bananas were more slippery than the new ones. Shut up.

I learned this when I was working on a food show for Netflix. That rocks. So whenever you taste like banana, like runts or any kind of banana flavor, that is a chemical approximation of what the old bananas used to taste like. Sean, the ice cream base was French vanilla. No, I understand that. But I think I was tasting a little bit of that old banana flavor in the thing you were giving me.

I really didn't. I thought it was like good French vanilla, which actually sometimes is a stronger ice cream flavor. I love French vanilla. I love getting the grossest chocolate thing that'll be like, fuck me chocolate. Like, chocolate is always so horny. And I almost, that would have been my normal order,

but I wanted to kind of like try something new. French vanilla, what, am I wrong? Wasn't that the baby? It is a French vanilla ice cream with roasted almonds, a banana and caramel. And then it was just a real banana inside and almonds. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong, but I was getting a little.

I can't be wrong, but I just like, can I not detect a chemical? Am I going to like? Kili, can I talk you ever? I got a pretty perfect bite where I got elements of the, the ice cream, the roasted almonds, the banana and caramel all in one. And it was delightful. I thought that was quite good. But here's the thing.

I agree that a lot of these tasted pretty similar. Amelia, what's in Bellatro? There's the two banana cards, right? There's the one that gets, the Joker that has a one six chance of going extinct and then to replace with the one that is a three X small. one of them is Cabandish. Cavendish and, um. But those are the banana varietals that,

that Sean was describing. I think Cavendish is the old one. Cavendish is the legendary one. Yes, yeah. And so the, I forget what the original one is that goes away. I can't, I got to learn about this old slippery banana. Also, the current clone of bananas is,

there's a genetic thing that's killing them. We have to come up with a new one. We have to come up with a new banana. I think in the next like 20 years, there'll be a whole new banana. It's been a while. Rose Michelle. Gross Michelle gives way for the cabin dish.

There's a meme that's like if you can't handle me at my gross Michelle, you don't deserve me at my cabinette. The hell? Why were they being so mean to Michelle? Hold on. There's news that bananas are going away and then we got sidetracked by this balochial. Last I heard they're like trying to figure out some genetic thing to stop them from all dying out. But we might have to come up with a new banana.

Donkey Kong is going to pull a Brooks was here. Yeah, I know, if you imagine. Do you want a new banana or do you want to go back to that banana we missed, the cabin dish? No, fucking, give me a new banana. A new banana. I mean, it would be fun to have a new fruit, you know, a new fruit. There's new fruits all the time. Donkey Kong plaintively saying like, oh, banana.

Slips the noose around his neck. It's a single tier. Not minion. No, I mean, well, the minions would be, I mean, the minions could pivot to mango. or potato, but yeah, the lack of the, the lack of the banana would be tough for them, too. Okay. I love my boy, D.K., playing D.K. Bonanza Lags. We're both having a great time with it.

I think I told you a bit about D.K. Bonanza, right? Banzaza is a lot of fun. But keep your bananas out of my ice cream unless it's a banana split. That's interesting. Wow, interesting, take. Have you guys ever heard of a Knickerbocker Glory? No. Or as they would say, a Nickerbocker Glory.

It's a British dessert. I just keep hearing about it on a different food podcast Sorry And I think it's like This is the one you listen to Yeah the one I actually listen to Hey Gilly can all of us talk to you on the show

Yeah I'm sorry Sean is my boss on the show And he doesn't like it when I say that You are Gilly always says I'm hurt your boss I literally not What am I saying when I say it? I won't make him do it

It's when I'm saying he was such a good boss And it makes him very uncomfortable. There is a hierarchy in a room. You didn't do anything about it. It's always been there. Emma's our boss. Yeah, Emma's a very good boss. Yeah, Emma's everybody's boss.

But Sean is such a good boss. Sean will and should run a room himself. MJ is also a phenomenal boss. Like, I'm so blown away by it. But every time I, when people are like, what was it like working with Sean? Because people are excited two UCB people were in a room together and I'm excited too. And I'm always like, he's a phenomenal boss. It was no one's boss.

Because if I was, I would have fired me. Yeah. Okay, I guess you weren't my dog. Wait, what is this dessert, though? Oh, sorry. It's just like a big Sunday, I think. Like, it's a multi-layered ice cream. I think it's definitely in one of those ice cream dishes that kind of are like a flower peddley kind of.

Sorry, I'm trying to show like a beautiful woman. Like in a big glass dish and it would have like sprinkles. I think it's maybe not that different from a Sunday I'll be honest I gotta fucking bring Sundays back yeah I'll tell you I agree with that and also this this to me is that this is why whatever I don't like cold zone

we'll get to our final thoughts here but but Muso and Franks has like a hundred year old Sunday that they make that's fantastic there's just no this place is supposed to be fun and I don't give a shit about it like I said it could be a hot stone gravery and I'd be more happy

I think you're missing. I honestly do think part of the experience is going there, seeing them fuck with the Coldstone thing, picking out your own flavors. I think that this is one way to experience it that people might like. I didn't hate, but I don't know.

Like, I think Coldstone is cool. If you can go there, I don't know. It's definitely a better experience, too, we weren't able to do that for this record because of timing, but it's definitely a better experience

in person for sure. I agree. And I honestly think that's the case with any ice cream part. Like, like I love ice cream. scream so much. I can't keep it in the house. I make myself go to the effort of going to a parlor. I always have a blast when I go there and get something hand scooped or, you know, I see that soft serve swirl out afresh. To me, that's part of the experience. And yes, definitely the case

with Coldstone. It's a bummer. We couldn't do that today. So we do lose a little bit of something. Hey, buddy, what is AG1? Ag1 is the drinkable multivitamin with gut health support. One scoop contains your multivitamin, pre-and-probiotics, superfoods, and antioxidants into one delicious daily habit. AG1 NextGen is backed by four clinical trials, clinically shown to fill common nutrient gaps and support gut health. Wow. It's one of the easiest things you can do for your health, all for less than $3 a day

when you subscribe. AG1 now has four, count them four delicious flavors. There's original the flavor you know in love with hints of pine. pineapple and vanilla. Wow. Citrus, a bright, zesty flavor that tastes like orange and lemon. Berry, a subtly sweet, lightly fruity flavor that tastes like blueberry and strawberry. And, Wags, I'm dressed the part.

Tropical. Wow. A sweet, vibrant, and bright flavor of tropical tastes like papaya and passion fruit. Mahalo. It's not magic dust or a silver bullet, but it provides a great foundation for the day. Wags, I can tell AG1 is making a difference. in my gut and with my digestion. It's very helpful. And you know what? It tastes a lot better than these green smoothies I drink all the time. I think about it like my nutritional insurance.

It sets my day up for success. It helps fill in my nutrient gaps so I know I'm doing something good for my body. And Wags, you know what? It's so easy to use. You just tear open a packet of AG1, poured in some water, mix it up and drink it down. It tastes great. It's easy. It's stored in convenient little packets or you can have a big tin of it. It's great. Your daily health drink just got more flavorful. If you had to drinkag1.com slash doughboys, you'll also get a free welcome kit worth $76 when you subscribe, including five AG1 travel packs, a shaker, canister, and scoop. That's drinkag1.com slash doughboys to get started. Give the new AG1 flavors a try today.

Wow. Mitch, between busy schedules and summer plans, sometimes all I got is a couple minutes. Oh, no. Factor helps me and you. eat smarter with tasty chef-prepped meals that are dietitian-approved and delivered right to my door. And now with more than 65 weekly meals made for how I live and what I like to eat, I've got even more ways to fit in a real meal wherever the day takes me. More variety, more meals.

Choose from a wider selection of weekly meal options, including premium seafood choices like salmon and shrimp at no extra costs. Support your wellness goals. Enjoy even more GLP-1 friendly meals in new Mediterranean. diet options packed with protein and good for you fats. Good for me too, Wags, with that GLP1 meals. That's right. And hey, you can savor global flavors. For the first time, try Asian-inspired meals with bold flavors influenced by China, Thailand, and more. From more choices to better nutrition, that's why 97% of customers say that Factor helped them live a healthier life. Feel

the difference no matter your routine. Wags, I love Factor in one of my favorite dishes was the jalapeno lime cheddar chicken with spicy cilantro cauliflower rice delicious yum i also enjoyed the shredded chicken thigh cacciatore with parmesan cauliflower grits and broccoli why sounds like we had a nice little dinner night but we ate them separately that's right eat smart at factormeels dot com slash doughboys five zero off and use code doughboys five zero off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. That's code Do Boys 5.0 off at Factor Meals.com for

50% off plus free shipping. Get delicious, ready to eat meals delivered with Factor. Wow. We should get to our final thoughts on Coldstone creamery. So, Sean, Gilly, you know that drill, we will go

around. We'll each give our closing argument if you will on Coldstone and end it by giving it a score from zero to five forks. Distancey to my rate, we will begin with you. Your thoughts, your fork score.

So when it comes to masturbating, no. Coldstone, you know, it used to ring like such a treat in my head when I was younger. When it came out in my town, it was a huge event. It was like when the Chipotle opened

or when, you know, this big lines, like huge, huge lines I remember. And so Coldstone was kind of cool. Now, I think a lot of our cheese and all ice cream places are kind of like taken over. I haven't been to handles yet. I hear that one's really good. Handles is the fucking best.

It's great. I mean, you got- you got salt and straw. You got jenny's. You got these things that are all like varying levels of quality. And like a good ice cream can be incredible. I don't always get a great thing of ice cream. So I'm not always looking for it.

But these flavors, cake batter flavor, cookie dough, Oreos, these are all flavors that I like. if I were to mix it myself Oreos would be in there cookie dough might be in there as well so

I didn't dislike anything did I like anything it's a great question it was fine the banana thing I remember what it tastes like the rest of it I don't know so forks score oh wait we're supposed to do something

themed oh yeah twisted metal themed oh yes what's what's the score so it's not out of forks Stu's undies. Okay, yeah, let's do it out of Stu's undies. That is giving people a way blown out proportion of how much your undies are involved, but sure. Let's do Stu's undies. Straight pubes in Stu's undies.

Okay, so we can't give a thousand for a score. Well, I only have five pubes total, so this is perfect. So maybe Stu's pubes? Stoos, yeah. Okay, perfect. I feel like I've given mostly straight down the middle ratings on the show. I'm going to give it 3.25 pubs in stews undies. Based off of your verbal evaluation, that is a higher fork score than I expect.

Well, I didn't want to go any lower because at the end of the day, it's fucking ice cream. If had I been left in that room to my own devices, I would have finished one of those things and felt like shit. So it's not like I disliked anything. and I don't think there are that many ice cream places that tower way above what Colstone's doing. Right. Oh, I disagree with that. I mean, I maybe don't have the experience

because I don't always seek out like the best possible ice cream. So I'll give it 3.25. Wow, three pubes one time. Three pubs one. Yeah, what is a half? What is it? What is a quarter pub?

Stub? Yeah. A follicle? Yeah. One follicle. Gilly, your thoughts, your, your pub score. I think we could have ordered better. Yeah.

I think I appreciate a dynamic mix of things. And the one thing that I really liked, the banana caramel crunch, did have that. And I think everything else that we ordered had soft and other soft. It was like all things that absorbed ice cream and then it was a mush. So I think we need to take that into account. I'm already on record saying I don't like ice cream that much. I am giving it a two pub out of five score because I didn't enjoy it. But that one thing is what got the two points.

The fact that they had something on the menu that had like bananas one consistency, caramel is a whole different one. And then we got almonds to give the crunch. I think we should have ordered more stuff like that. So that gave them out a little bit. Gilly, I would, sorry to interrupt, I have to change my score canonically. Because I did have a tiny sampling of a mint flavor of their ice cream. This was fucking disgusting.

It was so bad. I was so surprised. I was thinking it was going to be much mintier than it was. It was like the faintest putrid taste. Now that I, it's maybe the most lasting memory of this whole experience. I can't believe I forgot it. Who had mint? It was a tiny amount that Amelia had over there.

I don't know what you thought, Amelia. I don't know what you thought, but I have to dock an entire point for this ice cream. Because it was just the ice cream and I was getting like a sense of what the ice cream flavor would be like. It sucked. So I got to go down to two pubes and two point. Yeah, and one follicle. It was awful. I'll take the baton and run with it here.

And Mitch, I'll let you close it out because I want to talk about Amelia's samples. You got to go samples. Yeah, they have little tiny samples. You could get a little scoop, a tiny mini scoop for 99 cents. So I got three. I got the Oreo birthday flavor. So those were paid. Those were not samples because they've seen sample size.

Yeah, they, yeah, they were paid. Those were a buck a piece? Yeah, I didn't realize how tiny they did. That sucks. Yeah, because it was like a thimble full of ice cream. I thought that was just a sample for you to test to go. Wow. Okay, and what flavors?

Because one of them was the Oreo flavor, just the ice cream, no mix-ins. One of them was mint. I really like the Oreo by itself more than I did with all the fix-ins. Interesting. Yeah. A bargain in the downsizing universe, but here it's a fucking rip-off, Wags. It's an Olympic-sized pool in the downsizing universe. Then I got regular chocolate and the mint.

Yes. The mint was the first thing I had, so it was kind of good to me. Yeah, I could not quite understand what was going on to your palate that you like the mint. because I thought the mint was gross. I agree with this in there. But I also feel like those are three where I got to try the ice cream in isolation. And I know that's not what Coldstone is trying to do

when we try to evaluate that these podcasts are trying to evaluate these chains in terms of how they're living up to their aspirations and how they are they executing the promise of the premise. However, tasting the ice cream on its own, I was like, Coldstone's ice cream is not good quality. No. They're covering it up with all the shit

that they're mixing in there. Totally agree. Amelia, what would be your pub score based off your ice cream? I would give it three and a half pews. You go three and a half pubs. That's pretty high. I liked it.

Emma, did you have any? I don't think you had anything. No, I don't like Coldstone. I've been to a little. I went in like high school or something, and I thought it tasted freezer burn. I was like, this is garbage. I'd rather get a pint.

And so I've never really gone back. So I didn't want it from 30 minutes away today. I'm really disappointed that we didn't have. Oh, I forgot to tell me. They do a Boy Scout ice cream story. I remembered. I was at a we were in an old West ghost town and there was an ice cream parlor there and I went inside and I was like in my Boy Scout uniform and it was the first time I ever witnessed an adult man hit on an adult woman. Adult man was there like and and she was like, do you want to taste any, test any flavors?

And the guy goes, yeah, I want to taste all your flavors. Ew. Okay. That would work on me. Damn. Did you say that would work on me? I want to taste all your flavors. I'm into it.

Pretty good line. Yeah, I guess I'd fuck them too. Not the thing about like this person being at work and just having to say that all day and probably hearing that a lot. Right. But other than that. That's it. I'm really, really disappointed they didn't have the Oreo ice cream taco. That's the, that was like a gilly.

pitched this. I look the Coldstone app. I saw they had this ice cream tacos a seasonal. I was so excited to have it. They didn't have it. And it definitely is a bummer. I did really like the birthday cake or, you know, Oreo celebration. Again, I love birthday flavor. I love birthday Oreo specifically. So I thought that was great. And that alone, and I thought the smoothie was fine. I'm not counting it in my score. And I did think the banana caramel crunch was good. And then we've talked about everything else was just sort of like a vague sort of sweet. texture to it. All that said, I think the birthday cake

Oreo celebration was good enough where I'm going to anchor it firmly in three pubs. I think that's where my score should land if I'm being honest about this particular experience. You're a birthday flavor. It's true. You like that. You like that stuff. But Mitch, you're a birthday boy and you did not have a good experience. That's true. And I do fuck with ice cream. Yeah. I like ice cream.

And I think it's a testament to Coldstone for me not enjoying the meal that I think it just is kind of lousy ice cream. It's too sugary. It tastes like nothing to me. I never really liked Coldstone that. Even the first time I had it, it was a big sensation. I never really liked it. I don't know if the quality has gone down over time, but it sucks. I don't know. Coldstone kind of sucks, right? It sucks. It's honestly more texture than flavor, I will say. Like the flavors are there, but I'm not like loving all the flavors. It's the crunches and the big pieces of cookie dough and shit that you put in it that makes it different. And then, yeah, it is kind of way sugary. And there is an airy, you know,

akin to a gelato sort of smoothness to the cream itself. So I think that does a little bit of work for it. But I get what you're saying, Mitch. That's an insult to Italians, honestly. False. It's not all the way to gelato, but it's a little bit, you know, I'm standing up. You may be stand up for Italians. That's part of how to mix it to order. This is crazy. I feel like Jolato is nowhere near as sweet as what we just had. I'm not talking about texture. He's talking texture only. Okay.

It's hard for me to agree because it was a little like melted and homogenized. So I will back off. But I'm P-Oed. I would never give a scoop of this to sweet tooth himself lies. Wow. Wow. Would chop my head off, rightfully so. I do not think that this is, I would much rather a chaco taco taco for a sugar bomb.

I mean, I've said my hot, my hot stone gravery line, thousands of times now already. It's kind of a catchphrase at this point. It's so funny that stone is still stone. But I would much rather have that version than this version. And I apologize to Kualaic. I know he has a fond memory of this place. It's true.

He lost the love of his life. She stepped on his tail. He's like, it's. over. He called it off. Yeah, he broke up with her. She goes around and tells everyone, you know, I went on a date with this rat one back.

One point five forks. Wow. Oh, sorry. One point five pubes. Wow. One point five stew pubs or stoops, I guess we could say. Wow. Do you remember when you were a boy and the second pub was coming in?

What a time. Yeah, and you go from saying I have pub to pews. Pretty big. Get you some real cloud at the playground. You got a little Homer Simpson going on down there. I have something shocking to tell you. What's that? Happens to girls, too.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Mitch, you were looking directly at us like ignoring Gilly. Yeah, guess what? Gilly's got pubes, too. Sorry, dude. Hey, that was our review of Coldstone. It's time for a segment.

But I got a beverage. We're going to decide if you should pour it down your throat. It's drank or stank. Amelia, what do we have here? Yes, what twisted beverage do we have? Yeah, I apologize as you're stepping away from the mic. We have, from Galcos in Highland Park, we have Salem Sisters bad apple soda, rotten to the core. Bad apple soda rotten to the core.

Now, hopefully this doesn't taste like rotten apples, because sometimes they do have those dare sodas as you were preparing this for everyone, one-bri-green, apple-y color. Is this a gross soda? I hope it's not a gross soda. I don't like gross sodas. I'd rather eat gross. I don't like gross. This doesn't look like a gross soda. It does like a jolly rancher?

Yeah. Or when you poured out, did you guys ever drink like Tilt or Surge? Yeah. The alcoholic energy drinks. Surge, famously everyone would say it would kill your sperm. Oh, hell yeah. Kill your sperm, but makes the night lit. Here's the thing with this.

Are the four of us going to drink this ooze and turn into the night lit? to Ninja Turtles. I mean, I would be fucking sick as hell. That would be really fun. And we should pour some on Gemmy so she's our master. Yes, splinter. Diston as a TMNT fanatic, which turtle would you most want to be?

Or do you want to go the length of saying, like, which turtle would each of us be, the four of us on this? I can absolutely say that. He's definitely not the party, do you? No, no, no. You're definitely Donatello. Okay. You're keeping things together.

Donatello is the one doing the research. You also both have a shaft if you catch my drift. All right. Yeah, you carry around a big stick. It's called a bow. Oh, sorry. Okay. You called a bow.

I would say. Does you named a B-O? I named it Bo. I named it Bo. After my neighbor's dad. That's gross. I think it's clear that Amelia is Michelangelo. Sure.

What the hell I thought we were doing us for? I thought we were doing us for. You're in. I'm doing the dough boys. The dough boys cast. Is that good or bad? Me and Gilear Bebop and Rocksteady so clearly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and Gilear Bebop and Rocksteady.

Got it. That's true. I think Amelia is Michelangelo. I think Emma is Leonardo, absolutely. Sure. And I think she leads, but also does machines. No, no, no, no. Donatello does machines. Yeah, no, but I'm saying, like, like, like, I feel like she can live in both worlds. Why? You're, you fucked up.

Donatello does machines. I know Donatello does machines, but I'm saying, like. Emma also does machines, but I'm not commenting on Emma's doing machines right now. Okay. I'm talking about Emma is the driving force, the leader of this podcast. It's true. There is no dope. And yes, Mitch, you are Raphael.

Wow. You're cool but rude. That's true. Give me a break. Absolutely the angriest member of the four. I know enough to know that that was an insult. I like Robbins. I'm just happy that you didn't say I was the body of Crang.

Here we go No no no I don't know I don't know what I think about this No It smells like the Candy Apple lollipops Those caramel apple

Yeah this is 100% Jolly Rancher Flavored This is truly twisted for twisted month It is not a bad flavor But absolutely not something to be drunk It's like a twisted Martinelli's little like You know

Apple soda But a little kicked up a little science. Should we just get the fucking snack? Should we get the, whatever? This looks like the stuff from the reanimator. I thought we did too many snacks. Should we twist it up and bring the fucking snack in here?

So you're pissed that we're talking about this. I just, I feel like everyone hates it immediately. Isn't that part of it? It's drink or stink. It's a steak. We're not supposed to like it. Do you love it?

Is that why you're mad? I gotta like it. I've got to be honest. I don't dislike it. Do I want a whole thing of this? No. It's not bad apple, to be clear. No.

It's not a bad apple. No, it tastes like a candy, apple, the candy version. Would it make a good cocktail? That's what I was just going to think. And like I... Apple martini sort of. Yeah, it is so aggressively sweet. But I think if you added, if you made this a stiff drink, it might have a little bit.

It would have to be vodka, I think. Yeah. In order to walk around with booze, one of my best friends and I would put Bacardi 151 into slushies. And I would have put Bacardi 151 into this. This is that, yes, yeah. A good mixer for when you are just trying to get drunk and you don't care about flavor. McCarthy 1.51 is like the booze that kills children. It is, it is a, it's a dangerous booze.

I haven't had it since I was a child, which is not great. No, I don't think I've had McCarty 1.51 since I was a teenager. Yeah. They, no, they don't make it 100151 strength anymore. There's no reason for it to do that. No, no. But I had that original, I did have that original, I had that original shit. And I liked it.

That fire. I hate to say it. this might be a little bit of a drink for me. The more, I'm going, I'm going back in and it is better as you sip it. It's got this thing where it's not totally carbonated, like, but there's still some soda-y thing going on. I don't know.

When it hits your tongue, there's bubbles, but then it kind of goes away. There's a little bit of a viscosity. Yes. There's a teeth coating going on here. The ingredients, listen ingredients, carbonated water, cane sugar, citric acid, natural and artificial flavor.

and sodium benzoate. So it's not like... I love the sodium benzoy. So it's, you know, it's all science. That's all you're getting from here. But I think it's a decent apple flavor. I do think the color is a lot of fun. It's this really, you know, again,

Mutagen green. A little Halloween. When you said science. I want to say, Twisted Metal episode, what's the one that's kind of like a horror movie episode? Oh, in the school. Yeah, I can say.

What did that come on? Which number is that? One of the episodes coming out this week. Eight. Oh, is it? No, no, nine. It's nine, right? It's nine.

Fuck. It's eight. But it's coming out this week. Wow, there you go. Out today. It's out today. It's not a Halloween episode. No, no, no.

There are some scary shit in all the episodes with this one. Yeah, very fun. There's some scary stuff going on. When you said science, that made me think of, like, creepy crawlies, those kits that you could get. Oh, yeah. Creepy crawlers. But you could make, like, uh, like mad scientist goo

and then it was like for kids and then you can eat it. This feels like one of those things. Do you want me to sing the theme song for that? Creepy crawlers. Do you not remember this? I don't remember the theme song, but I know what you're talking about.

It goes on. I don't remember. Yeah. Do you know what I think they should do with this? You should rebrand the whole thing. This should be a wicked tie-in. And it should be, what's the green witch's name?

Elphaba. This should be called Elphabas Squirt. That's really good. Because it's definitely the color. It's definitely the color of her skin. Yeah. And it just got a bit of a like Wizard of Oz vibe going on. Right.

Like I like the like neony color. It gives me a little like there's some wimsy. Can I see the little thing to that? How about grunty piss, why? I mean, I was going to say there's the Salem sisters on here and they kind of look like two grunties, Mitch. Oh, yeah. Not too awful of those two grunty. She is green because of a potion peddler.

who is not her mom's husband and that's how they know that the mom cheated because she drank a potion damn there's a fucking drama going on in this Wicked movie I was watching some of Wicked and then I just like looked at the Wikipedia and spoiler alert for Wicked too one of those guys turns into the scarecrow

or some stupid bullshit this is longest I mean this lore is established in the books and the musical but yes and maybe some other We'll turn into some of the other travelers. It's very prequally. It's like one of those things where it's just like, at some level, the whole thing is unnecessary.

But then again, I guess you could say that about everything. But it's just like, but the songs are good. The musical's great. Yeah, I will say I'm boycotting the movie. I'll never watch it. And the reason is, is because Ariana Grande is a husband stealer. And I will not say why that really pisses me off, but it is a personal thing that makes me very upset.

And all the Ariana fans who are going to say that, oh, no, the timing come for me. We have a lot of Ariana Grande fans who listen to dope. They're all up on here. They're like, thank you next. Yeah, I don't like that movie. I don't like Ariana Grande, and I'll never watch it. And I don't think anyone should watch it.

Oh, my God. But it's art created by a team of talented people, like you were saying before. Oh shit, you're right. I did say all that shit before. You know what? And some of it just isn't your taste. Yeah.

Yeah, but Ariana Grande specifically wronged me. Wow. And I will not watch the movie because of that. Wow. Yeah, sounds like that. The book is crazy. There's a humanoid tiger that fucks. Okay, so the book I can probably read.

She's not in the book. Right over here. The humanoid tiger that fucks. Look at all right. Right over here, Dialogue, Tiger Weiger. Hey, I think we go, what is the verdict? I guess I go, I didn't officially say. I guess I might go light drank here.

Yeah, I'm going light drank as well. I don't think I could take a whole bottle of this, but this is a fun thing to share. If a bunch of high school students ask me, buy them a bottle of vodka, I come out with a bottle of vodka and I say, mix it with this. I give them a bottle. I give them this soda as well. That's responsible. Thank you. That's nice.

It's green. You'll make your piss look green. I thought you were going to say you'd give them this in place of the booze, but you're going to say, no, that's good. No, no, no, I'll do that instead. I'm going to give them this and say, have fun with this instead. Yeah, yeah. When I was in high school, we were trying to, we were like, wait outside of a liquor store, and we kind of were just like, like, which one of us is going to ask an adult to buy beer for us.

And my friend John was like, I'll go do it. And he went over there, and he was just like, kind of shoulder-tapping adults as they're going in the liquor store. And this guy in a wheelchair was, like, watching him. and he rolls over and he says excuse me FBI and he takes out his wallet

and shows it to him and a friend John looks at him and walks away and comes over and John says he opened his wallet and showed me a picture of a dog

I fucking love this guy that guy might have been fucking hilarious I mean he might have been out of his mind or he might have been hilarious that's so good I might start caring

on a picture of a dog, just so I can... I scared a stranger, teenage boy at Universal Studios the other day and have never laughed harder. And I think I'm going to start being like this guy. I think it is so funny to fuck with teens, because they're so scared, they're so on edge. I immediately

looked to this guy's, this kid's parents because I needed them to not be mad at me. The mom thought it was the funniest thing pulled out her phone and showed me like nine videos of her scaring her son. herself. And I think it's like her way to get back at like

just how awful having a team boy is. Oh, sure. He was being mean to his little sister and I could like see this for like 10 minutes in line again and again. He keeps trying to prank his sister. So I just went up behind him and did a classic like boo. I thought you meant scared him as an authority for you. You scared him as like a guy. We got to bring back boo.

It was a classic tap on the shoulder and a boo in the ear from behind. And he turned around and like, who did it and then he saw me just kind of standing there and it was kind of impulsive so I didn't really think it through and he just saw me and then like got a little scared and then like ran behind his dad which is the right thing to do. So boys fans

if you see Mitch or Nick out there tap him on the shoulder and give him a boo give him a classic boo. That could be the end for both of us honestly. Like I bet you that guy was just chuckling his ass off the rest of the day. That rocks. I think he should all scare strangers. If you want to hear if you want to bring back boo You should come on the road with Waguer and I at some point. Oh, yeah. The audience really loves that phrase.

Hey, it's been, you brought it back. Drinks all around, seems like. I don't go, I get a soft drink. Soft drink, yeah. Yeah, I don't think any of us are like over the moon for it, but it's like, it's getting credit for the crazy color, too. For sure. I'm glad it exists.

You know, when I was younger, you know what we did to get to buy beer at one point? What's that? My sister had an assumption, so she gave me an assumption sweatser. I put that on in a scally cap and I just look so much like shit, even at 16. I just, they never even carded me. What's the assumption? Yeah, what is that? It was her college.

Okay. So I walked in with a scally. I think I looked older than I looked just like, I just looked like shit. What's a scally cap? I don't know what any of this is. Scallicap is like a kind of like a, you know, you know, like the, the, I don't know how to fucking describe it. I don't know what to say. Like, yeah, kind of like a beanie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a can go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Amelia's holding up a bunch of. There we go. See, on the far right there. Oh, it's like a little Sherlock Holmes. kind of a...

Us Irish boys used to wear them back in the day. Wow. Yeah. That's a sort of a jaunty older man's cap for sure. I wore it as a teen boy quite a bit.

Just like a restaurant of our feedback, let's up with the feedback. Today's email is from Alvaro M. Alvaro writes, other than twisted metal and the Weiger family home videos,

what's your favorite show movie featuring a clown? All right, dude. Mine, thanks for asking. Is that because of the clown-ass dad stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Simpsons may be the easy answer or Finding Nemo,

with that clownfish. Saludos from Panama, Alvaro. Oh, hey, how about that? Panama. That's cool. And that's an interesting question. Alvaro, I see up there, mixing up in the Dosecourt.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. That's right. Yeah. Well, you can yell at them later over calling your dad a clown. Wait, favorite, okay, favorite show movie featuring a clown,

Simpsons was taken, Finding Nemo was taken. I'm trying to think a little bit. I mean, like, look, this is a, the obvious place your mind goes is to the Joker and the Batman movies, but obviously that's a big one,

but I'm trying to think of a deeper cut. That's a clown. I will say, we're just featured in the movie. Yeah. I think a really funny clown, because clowns are scary. I don't love, like, scary movies that much. A really funny clown scene is in Billy Madison.

Yes. Great clown. Where the clown gets hit in the head, and then they're doing the big song, and he goes, you probably thought that I was, I was dead. Great. That's a really funny little moment, and it's memorable.

It's kind of one of the first things that came to my head when I thought about a clown moment. God, I can't wait for the Netflix, Billy Madison, too. Oh, Billy Mattis, too. Please put one of the Sarandos children in the movie. Oh, boy, Billy Madison 2 on Netflix. Yeah, it's coming. I can't wait to not watch it in a movie theater and have it be almost a billion dollars and look like a made-for-d-D-D-Movie.

I'm a Sandler Defender. Don't get me wrong here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all are. Hmm, you know what I like? Patch Adams? Oh, man, Patch Adams is pretty good. Remember being a good movie? I watch the shit out of Patch Adams.

And what's the Coco? Is that the grill? What was the name of it? Yeah. Yeah. Probably loves Patch Adams. Did she like even, did she like all Robin Williams movies no matter what? Like Fisher King?

Hated Hook. Yeah. Did not like Hook. A good, this is a great question. Well, it's like once you mention The Simpsons, it's hard to get to like the next. I'm just thinking of, I've just been thinking of, I've just been thinking of Of course of, the Kiotto Brothers. Wow, great.

Yeah, killer clowns from outer space is a lot of fun. Talk about practical effects. It's his favorite movie? It is. It's Betsy's favorite movie? Quite, quite passionately, yes. It was already funny. We went and saw The Monkey and, and with Betsy's like, I love.

loved it. And then me, Weiger, Ben Rogers, Ryan Stanger, and John Gabers all went and saw it. A Doe Boys, action boys crossover. Mm-hmm. And, yeah, it was a quintet of fury at this film.

None of us liked it. She took me to see it, like, so insistent because she liked it so much, and basically watched me watch the movie. And I absolutely hated it. I was so upset by it. Um, I had a lot of problems with it. Upset by it is the wrong word, but like, I just was, like, bored and, and just upset. I guess I was upset.

We were mad. But Killer Clowns is a movie she, I wouldn't have watched if she wasn't in my life. And it's fucking amazing. It's, Killer Clowns is fantastic. For her birthday, I got her an air, custom airbrush t-shirt with Grandpa Simpson, the Taco Bell, Bell, and Jumbo from Killer Clowns. Wow. And specifically Jumbo to co-represent Jumbo's clown room. Really great store on Etsy if you're looking for a custom gift.

My clown thing that's coming to mind, I think it's Problem Child 2. Yes. Wow. That movie is... Such a gross movie. Oh, I love those movies. Love those movies. Very early influence of like just being a stinker.

And it's been like on my mind a lot lately. And yeah, that's what I'm going to say. I love it. Great John Ritter. I've got one that I remembered that I was pissed I didn't think of immediately. Homey the clown. Oh. Oh, Home of the Clown is huge.

So much comedy. As a kid, as a young child, Homey the Clown gave me a lot. I learned a lot from Homey the Clown. Genuinely so, like, whacking people. Yeah, so funny. Big sock. Love it.

My sister and I were talking about the fast car parody from In Living Cuddle the other day. A lot of funny stuff in that show, which I don't even know. All aged great, but. Yeah, old aged perfectly. We've missed a big one, as Pennywise from it, of course.

Yeah. But I mean, give me that Tim Curry Pennywise. I was specifically know the Tim Curry one is, is, you know, one Mitch, I know you like. And I was thinking through it a little bit.

I had Final Fantasy 4, Kefka, clown like a big villain in that game. But I've been rereading. I started with the beginning, I didn't get very far in my first read through, my first attempt at going through

all the one piece manga. Oh, the one piece. It is a daunting. Have you ever dug in? No, but my, old roommate Jeff Ward played the clown on the Netflix show.

Wow, Buggy the Clown. Yes. Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, cool guy. That's who I was going to reference because Buggy the clown is a villain, at least in the first part of the manga and the anime and the live action adaptation. And so that was one I was thinking about buggy the clown's funny. Yeah, Jeff Ward, cool guy.

He was on like agents of shield when we lived together. Wow. He's gotten to do some cool stuff. Hell yeah. I'm looking. I looked at Art the Clown, obviously, and I was for a big, one for young people, I feel like. Lestrada has mentioned, Dwig's. Now everyone's talking about Natalie Palamedis. A great clown. Hell yeah, Natalie. I mean, I think it's funny that we like talk

about clowns and we live in a city with like such an incredible clown scene, but we're like, what's our favorite clown thing? I guess homie the clown. At Comic-Con, there was a great sweet tooth actor. he did a great job did he speak i was curious yeah yeah he he did speak yeah he was he was doing a great job i mean calypso was on fire the entire time oh the guy who played calypso yeah yeah how crazy to be an impersonator while the actor who embodied that character is there that's such a mind fun yeah i think he like quietly was like hey man i like i think he said to anthony care he's like i'm a fan man he was but like after that he was the entire time it was just so on and paul walter hauser was playing stew at the

I auditioned for stew To play Stu Amelia you're someone who's presence in the clowning community here in the city You've done some clowning work I've seen you in clown makeup you wait What was the fucking clown you dressed up at at the rent fair Oh that was actually I learned actually I just realized

I'm wearing a clown shirt I didn't know it at the time Yeah I was I was dressed as a clown called POMNI from the amazing digital circus, which is some new animation, animated TV show. So I checked it out. And I was surprised that little four-year-olds, five-year-old, six-year-olds were coming up to me being like, pomney, pomney, because the show feels very adult.

So it was very surprised, but it seemed like a cool show. But it's just on YouTube and it has an accessible to kids' aesthetic. And so you had inadvertently done your clown makeup and, and wardrobe where you look like Pomney, you were accidentally cosplay. I was accidentally Pomney, but I was just going for a general court jester type look for the Renfair.

I remember you texted us that you'd like, you'd taken like 30 selfies with little kids. Yeah. The kids were obsessed. I guess like Chuckles the clown, do we all know this? Is there can only be one. And David Arquette has been like vying to buy the rights to be chuckles, not just to make life rights

to make a movie, but to actually be the character. I think it's very protected. Like at Disneyland you can't dress as one of their characters. It's not allowed because they don't want to like mess with the very clear branding and it has to be the employees. There's some kind of like there's not like how a SeaWorld has every Seaworld had a shamoo and we just called it that. Like there's only one chuckles at any given time. I feel like that's interesting.

And like the way he paints it is like I think copyrighted. Some of the clowns are very possessive about their makeup and looks. And the same thing with puppets and puppeteers and their association with them. But like Bozo, the clown was just like freely licensed and there were like a million Bozo. Bring back Ronald McDonald. What are we doing? Ronald. Is he gone?

Well, they don't really use them anymore. He got Finn. We may get into it. He got thin and he got his hair pressed. The other one I'm just remembering is shakes the clown. I don't remember the Bobcat Goldth Way. Yeah, I never saw it. I heard it was good.

Just like an alcoholic party. That was in Bobcats like prestige indie era Never saw it What are you laughing about over there? I wasn't Oh Yeah nobody laughs at the show

Power for the course How about these four clowns Yeah you're just It's funny Mitch is sitting here Doing a comedy podcast And looking at people going What the fuck you left? I don't know

We're doing a comedy podcast Fucking Raphael You're so Raphael I You know what I am a Raphael. I think you are. I'm aggressively sweet, like the drink, I'd say. Hmm. Yeah. No, that's not at all what

Raphael is aggressively sweet. He's pissed. I'm pissed too, but I love all. I love you all. It's true. At the end of the day, he loves his brothers. Yes, that's true. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at Feedbag.com. He's getting pissed.com

or leave us a voicemail of 830-60-4-6-8-4. This tsunami fucking wipes us away. The last thing we had is coldstone cleanery. fucking sucks. Our producers have our Erd Brinker, our associate producer, Emilie Marino. Our video producer, Casey Donnie here, our video editor, Mike Dorfman.

You can find our merch at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys. And hey, get the doughboys double our weekly bonus episode over at patreon.com slash doughboys. But right now what y'all should be doing is checking out Twisted Metal Season 2 on Peacock. New episodes out today, Sean Diston,

Gilling to see him. Congratulations on the show. Tell us anything else you want to tell us you want to mention about Twist Metal and anything else you want to plug. Everyone's really nice. You should watch it. some great great people that worked on the show we can't shout out everyone but obviously the

writer's room did a lot of really good work and yeah i'm just happy to be a part of that team and uh yeah it's great such i mean such funny and lovely people working in there we could talk to you two all day long uh we we we almost did we almost did but uh but but but such talented people in there and that's where it all starts and it's so it's so it's so the scripts were so good and you guys pulled it off. Looking at what we had to do this year I was like this is not going to happen. This feels

hard to pull off and you pulled it all off. It is crazy. So Doe Boys fans watch Twisted Metal finish the show those numbers mean a lot. So just like watch to the very end. It's very fun. A lot of great fun surprises in the last few episodes. I won't spoil

it but Mitch has some incredible final episodes this season. It's true. Some of the funniest and best acted stuff I've seen with Mitch. It's just really, really great so I'm super excited for people to see it. That's very kind of you to say. It's very true.

It's very true. I told you. You're not Raphael. Look at you. You're all bashful. He's just a little. You're April. You're a little April, O'Neill. You're giving me goosebumps over here. Stu's pubes are

standing straight up. Dick flask. Bit off and flaccid. That'll do it for this episode. Until next time, for the Spoon Man. Mike Mitchell, I'm Tiger Wier. Happy eating. See ya.

That was a hate gum podcast.