Doughboys - Cold Stone Creamery with Kevin T. Porter

Episode Date: November 3, 2016

Gilmore Guys co-host Kevin T. Porter joins the 'boys to review his favorite ice cream parlor from high school, Cold Stone Creamery, and to ambush Wiger with a surprise blast from the past. Plus, a sweet treat Snack or Wack featuring Reese's Peanut Butter Pieces Cups.Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tempe, Arizona. Settled in the late 1860s as Hayden's Ferry to provide agricultural support to nearby Fort McDowell, the subsequent arrival of the railroad, construction of the Roosevelt Dam, and Arizona's statehood combined to allow it to develop into a thriving center of habitation. With a scorching average summer temperature of 104 degrees Fahrenheit, 40 degrees Celsius, it's one of the hottest cities in North America. In 1988, locals Susan and Donald Sutherland, no relation to the distinguished actor, opened an ice cream parlor to help cool down this arid sunscorched hellhole.

In the U.S., the FDA regulates ice cream labeling, from economy, to regular, to premium, to super premium, which is the highest of their high end. The Sutherlands distinguish their parlor by selling their own store-made super premium ice cream and by offering a unique preparation involving folding mix-ins in front of the customer atop a frozen granite slab, which gives the chain its name. Whether to quote its sizing scheme, you like it, love it, or gotta have it, you can't deny its success with its hundreds of worldwide locations and growing after nearly 30 years of operation.

This week on Doughboys, Cold Stone Creamery. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. We're a part of FarrellAudio.com, the home of Beyond Yacht Rock. They create arbitrary genres of music each week and count them down. I'm Nick Weigar, alongside my co-host, Sleepapnia Snorlax, Mike Mitchell, The Spoon Man. Sleepapnia Snorlax. The Pokemon Snorlax, with Sleepapnia, that's what's happening there. That one's courtesy of Seth Wayne, if you've got a roast you'd like me to use on Mitch

at the top of the show, roastspoonman at gmail.com. Now I liked it, Seth. Yeah. That's a good question. Wouldn't Snorlax have Sleepapnia? Because he's a big, he's a big dude. Yeah, he would have Sleepapnia. I'm actually not sure what the gender of Snorlax is.

Okay, here or she. Yeah. Jesus, sorry. No, I'm honestly not sure. I know a little bit about Pokemon lore, but I'm not super deep in the thick of it. I know some of them. They're gendered. Some are male, female.

I don't know, are they all binary gender-wise? I don't want to get, I feel like I'm skinning from the back character. I've never looked between a Pokemon's legs, but I'm not sure what the deal is. But you're familiar with the concept of the Pokédex, and then how the, yes, yes, alright. Yes, alright. I know the Pokédex. Are you kidding me? I just want to say, the Spoon Nation, hmm, it's stuck.

Was that it? It stopped playing, you know what, this is not my fault. It stopped at nine seconds, and may we never listen to the rest of it. Yeah, it seems like the perfect duration. Wait, what happened? It really just stopped. Did you lose Wi-Fi? I'm not on Wi-Fi.

Now it's just not playing at all. I don't know. Wow. Maybe it's a bad MP3 or whatever file format they sent it over. It's a bad way. Do you think it was corrupted? Could it been? Hmm.

I guess that's the end of that. Yeah. Well, we got a taste of it. We got the teaser, and then maybe at some point in the future we'll get the full one. Should I not try it again? Is that what you're trying to tell me right now? No, I don't care. Try it.

Alright, I'll try it one last time. Tom Buckles. Tom At Super Hit Tops. Did I play this already? I can't keep track anymore. God, this show. No, it's just not playing anymore. You know what you could do is you could...

There it goes. Let's get this motherclaw out of here. You were saying? Everybody dance out. Yeah. I like carbon pumpkins. I like caramel apples. I like, you know...

Aiming to abduct women and then wear their skin as my clothes. I like carbon pumpkins. I like caramel apples. I like, you know... To camp out in front of a tank in hopes that some of these lobsters would get it off. Aw, not bad. You know what, when it was all said and done, it was a nice little tribute to the dumb month we just spent eating Red Lobster.

So thanks, Tom Buckles at Super Hit Tops. What's going on, Wager? What I was going to say is that there's a way that you could mark the emails that you've played. You could just archive the emails that you get that you've played a drop from because you use an email-based system or just star the ones that you play and know not to replay the starved ones. Now you're going to turn me to Snorlax for real.

I'm just saying. I can know you're not a man who likes to use an AOL email account, but you have a separate Gmail for... You can use some of the Gmail features to organize your inbox. All right. Relax. Just say you were complaining about replaying drops and there's an easy way to prevent that. Yeah, but then I didn't want Wager's advice quarter.

It's fine. All right. Hey, Halloween's over. Yeah. Scariest month into the most stuffed month. November. Stuffed full of... Stuffed full of stuffed suits, what with all the politicians campaigning for election.

That's for sure. Those hotheads. Well, this election will be over soon. I hate those hotheads vying for the White House seat. Those foolish hotheads, we all call them. All I'm seeing every day in my television, in my radio, on my Twitter stream are a bunch of hotheads. I'm excited.

Well, pining about politics. Oh, Bill Clinton, you're excited? I'm very excited for the upcoming election. Your wife could be the first woman president. It's a huge milestone. That's right. I'm going to turn the Oval Office into a man, Kate. You're going to?

Well, I think Hillary Clinton, if she is to win the presidency, will need the Oval Office to do her business. That's all right. She can work in the Lincoln Bedroom, baby. Oh, I think that's pretty... Although, you know I'm going to get used out of the Lincoln Bedroom, too, because of that. Okay, I think maybe you should make the Lincoln Bedroom into your man cave and not kick the first female president out of the Oval Office, which is, I feel like, you know, she should

not do an abad that. That's true. I guess I can fuck anywhere, right? You can conceivably. What Bill Clinton is man cave? What would I put in my man cave? Yeah. I'd probably put...

I'd probably put one of those video game consoles. Oh, an A video game console? An arcade camera, yeah. Oh, like an old SNK Neo Geo one? Mm-hmm. With all the different games you can play, what's that, with Metal Slug, you can play a little Metal Slug? Metal Slug.

Some Fatal Fury? Maybe some Turbo Fright House, what was that old... I think you're thinking of Turbo Graphics. Turbo Graphics. A little separate from Neo Geo. I don't want to get a little nudity into the video games. Okay, yeah. What's the horniest video game there is?

Probably Leisure Suit Larry. Yeah, it's like a little Leisure Suit Larry. That feels like that's Bill Clinton's speed. Why are you saying that's Bill Clinton's speed? I'm right here. That feels like that's your speed, Mr. President. Well, it got news for you. I'm very fast.

Yeah, you are. You did use to jog a lot. That was a thing you were famous for in your first presidency. I heard you guys got a little shrimp off going on. We've talked about having a shrimp off in the future. We're not committing to anything. Well, I challenge you to a foot race. Bill Clinton, you want to race me, Nick Weiger?

I mean, I'd be honored to participate in anything, but I'm honored to be talking with you now. But I'm not sure if you're a man in your 70s with a heart condition should be racing against me. The loser lets the winner go at it on his wife. Okay, I don't want to participate in this. All right, speaking of running, I'm out of here. Wow, he is fast.

That was really something, bitch. Jesus Christ. Something, bitch. Yeah, I'm saying, did you not see what just, did you not see? No, no, I saw it. He was, what a weirdo. Yeah, that's why I said that was really something, comma, bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

I agree. All right. Hey, you know what's funny? I went to the Kanye West concert. Yeah. Just recently, the other, you know, I was sick. I was actually very sick. Right.

But I went to the Kanye West concert. It was a good time. A Doe Boys fan came up to us at the Kanye West concert. Whoa. Yeah, this girl, Margo, she came, this is real. She came up to us and I just thought it was like a weird place to meet someone who listened to Doe Boys. You know what's weird?

The two and I, you and I went to see Mission Impossible 5 together and a Doe Boys fan recognized us together waiting in line. That's right. Let's say, enjoy the film, boys. I love your show. Yeah, no, Margo came up to us at this Kanye West concert and she said, are you from Doe Boys? I said, yes.

And it was me and Jeff Dutton and Mike Hanford. And I think we all didn't know what to say because she was a very pretty girl. And I was just like, what is this pretty girl who goes to Kanye West, she listens to Doe Boys? Are you from Doe Boys? I've been told to stay away from you, man. People warn people to stay away from the Doe Boys. There's Facebook posts of both of our headshots saying that we're...

Is it true that you got a new car, right? I did get a new car. This was a couple months ago, but I heard that every time that you start your new car, it sets off an amber alert. Is that true? That's not true. Let's introduce our guest. He's a writer and editor and co-host of the hit podcast Gilmore, guys.

We're thrilled to have Kevin T. Porter. Hi, Kevin. Hello, gentlemen. Kevin. What an honor to be here. Thank you for coming. Are you kidding us? That was a very difficult 10 minutes of my life to laugh at you guys and to try to be

quiet. Try to be quiet. What is the philosophy of off-mic laughter? I think it's fine. Oh, I think it's fine. Okay. I think that we usually think we're just eating shit for 90 minutes, so we appreciate it. No, I'm here for a minute.

It was nice to see a little bit of gaffang in the background as we were talking at each other. I don't know if you saw, but during when Bill Clinton was in here, I did do a legitimate spit take. I'm not kidding. No bit. Hey, as a former president, I would do a spit take, too. That's a cool sighting.

Right. It was shocking. It wasn't because it was funny. It was shocking. Have you guys ever seen a... Go on. Have you ever seen a former president? President in person.

Mmm. I don't think I have... You know what? President Clinton did come up to... I worked at a golf course. Yeah. Grant Lynx, which they put into the quarries. I've told tales on this podcast of jumping those quarries when I was younger, and I

worked as a cart guy up there for a while, and Clinton came in there one time, and I didn't see him, though. And my dad at the time was like, he's a perjurer, anyway. And my dad didn't... Oh, yeah. I don't think my dad loved Clinton. Your dad was a progressive man, but he didn't like Clinton because your father was a lawyer and he thought he disordered the legal profession.

I think that's the case. Yeah. My dad voted Green Party at one point. I remember... I shouldn't tell what he voted. I mean, he's passed away, so I don't know if it matters or not, but he was a liberal and a progressive guy and a Democrat. Right.

Now, who cares? You know what? There's too much the rise in tides, baby. We all got to love each other. We all have to learn to love each other. Come on now. We can do it. I think I should run for president.

Sure. Am I that much worse than... I think that's the logical conclusion of this podcast. See, you guys are... That's the ticket. Weiger, Mitchell, 2020? I want to say. Spoon...

Oh, man. Four years or not. You already have the Spoon Nation branding down. Right. Spoon Man and Burger Boy ticket. Make Nation Spoon again. Oh, man. Yeah.

Make Nation Spoon again. Well, look, we would... I agree with you. Right? We would lose and then also... To who? To... We would lose...

Just bear it. We would lose to anyone. Two campaign events, you would just complain about what a pain in the ass it was and not want to do it anymore. Can you imagine getting on a tour bus and going to, like, Duluth and then getting up at 5 a.m. and doing a campaign rally for a bunch of steel workers? Jesus. Like, just...

There's so much work involved in running a political campaign. It's not that something you ever want to do. Steel workers, notoriously. The worst crabs. Those guys are rowdy. Yeah. Yeah. Campaign in the ass.

There you go. Wow. See, I'm already on board for the campaign, though. That should be... You're still your campaign. Wait, hold on a second. I said campaign in the ass. Yeah.

And you said, there you go. And you nodded at me. Yeah, I liked it. Because I think you're capitalizing on your personal brand, which is your refusal to do anything. No, hold the phone. So you can kind of, like, run on the angle of, like, look, doing things sucks. It's fun to be lazy.

It's, like, let's just... We've already seen the Simpsons episode, the Be Like the Boy episode, and it turns out that it wasn't good. It wasn't a good system, but I'm saying it could be a winning campaign message. Like, do you want to win or do you want to govern effectively? I don't like... I don't like when he... I'm sorry.

I don't mean to get mad in front of you. Oh, okay. No, no, no, no. I don't like when... When Weigur accuses me of not doing anything, I'm doing stuff all the time and it sucks. I love saying this type of thing. What I'm saying is you don't like doing... I'm not saying you don't...

It's not that you don't do anything, but you hate doing anything. Don't you? Yeah. Yeah, you do, too. I just don't like being alive. Oh, boy. The things that we... Let's get to it.

The things that I do during my life is whatever. Those are annoyances, but it's all under one big umbrella annoyance. I feel like most people who are successful creatively could take or leave it most of the time in terms of like, do I want to be doing this at all? Should I give it up? Right. You guys, I can tell, are both on the edge of it right now. This is my favorite podcast hosted by two guys who don't want to host a podcast.

I believe it's in the top 10. I think... I mean, I don't know if you feel the same way, but I feel like anyone who is in the entertainment industry, and then I feel like, see, this will get you a lot of... Because everyone's like, they'll be like, oh, boo-hoo or whatever, and like, oh, you're upset, this sucks or whatever. And I am grateful to do it. I enjoy doing the things I love, but the thing that people don't know is that Hollywood

crushes you so much so that once the chance you are doing things that your soul has just been crushed. I think you can speak to that too, Nick. Yeah. Well, also too, you see like, if you have something that you think is going to be good, you see it ruined so many times for reasons that are out of your control. It's just someone can make an arbitrary decision of like, I don't like how this is. I'm going to change things a little bit and make it bad, and that becomes the finished

product with your name on it. It's something people don't understand, like, in Hollywood, and I think everyone agrees with it. There are so many good, talented people, but then there's just as many, if not more, awful people who are bad at their job, and they do kind of... They ruin things. It's a weird group of ruiners. Which part of...

Which group are we in? I'm a ruiner. Okay. I think I'm also a ruiner. I don't think I've made anything good ever. I think that... Ever. No.

Ever. Oh, Jesus. I would disagree. This podcast is fantastic. At midnight is a terrific show that a bunch of people love. Thank you, Kevin. I don't know. I agree with you.

I don't think you've made anything good, including this show. Yeah, I know. I have very little to do with this show being good. I would think the... Yeah, I don't know. I get what you're saying, but also, I think that general sort of malaise is general... You could generalize that to probably all professions, because I've worked other jobs. I totally agree.

Anything that you love can become toil on a long enough timeline. Yeah. I totally agree with that. And anything that's like... Even stuff that's untainted by the ruiner group, if you do it for a long enough time, it can just become... I love doing the stuff I get to do now, but half the time I'm like, I have to do this bullshit again.

Right. Yes, I was going to ask you, because we talked about this a little bit. We were talking just about... We had some podcast shop going on. Oh, man. It was just like, how the sausage is made of pie. And for you, that's a great question, is are you... Because I mean, why Griniar for sure?

Just for health reasons, and going to these places and eating at these places, it wears down on you. Yeah. And you get sick of it. Physically and mentally. Physically and mentally sick of... Oh, and I felt it when we went to Coldstone today. Oh, yeah.

Definitely. Just how over it both of you were. Is that tough for you? Because with your podcast, is that a sort of thing of like, I've talked about this subject more than I could ever talk about anything. How do you feel about that? We talked about also the plus side, which you can get into too. Totally.

Well, I mean with our show, because it's talking about a TV show, and one that wasn't necessarily super popular when it was on, it is like a lot of... But a cult... A cult... A cult classic. It was like a popular show, but then it was one of those shows that was like, oh, it did well enough to be a popular show, but then it also kind of is a cult show. Like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, there's like a bunch of shows like that.

Yeah. Yeah, it's become that in the intervening years. And it's one of those things like at this point, we've put out 205 episodes of the show, which at this point, I think I looked on our hosting, it says like how many literal hours it is. Yeah. And it's 362 hours. That's a lot.

And we talked about this one TV show. So I think, and just like with this show... That's like playing through every final fantasy. Oh my God. It's just a staggering amount of content. It's stupid. And there's only like 107 hours of the show of Gilmore Girls. And we've talked about it for almost three times that length.

It's stupid. It's not a good idea. But I think like what we were talking about, the format is the format, sure. And it's like, we're talking about Gilmore Girls, or you're talking about food, but then do it for long enough. And that's not really the, it's kind of the clothesline you hang everything on, but it's not where you live. Yeah.

That's a good way to mix a metaphor. Like it's not, I don't feel like Doe Boyz is the food show. Doe Boyz is Nick and Mitch trying to work it out together in the air. Nick and Mitch growing in their love or their hostility, depending on the episode. Right. Yeah. So that's really the format. And that's what Demi and I have tried to approach as.

So it's not just like, it's not just the Gilmore Girls Pockets, it's like, it's the comedy show, it's the TV show, it's also this, it's also that. Right. So I think you guys have done a really good job of that as well. Well, we should just do it every other week for God's sake. What, like slow down the pace? Yeah. We could do that.

Or you could do like, you could even, because there will come the day where you run out chains, even though it's very long into the future, you could, yeah, like build it in addition to the, is it the Olympics? We did do the Olympics. That was a failed run of shows we did, but we did do the Olympics. The Olympics is our biggest failure. That was, yeah, that was where we really cratered. Is Rock Lobster Fest second?

You know what? There were two websites, there were like two fan sites that were maintaining, I just checking on some things. There were two fan websites, and both of them just completely dropped off entirely during the Olympics. No. They didn't come back. Like, yeah, one guy was.

Name, names, name, names. One guy was tracking, like, all the restaurants that we put in the Golden Plate Club, and then once we did the Olympics, he was like, all right, I'm done with this. Like, just like walked away. It's just like a graveyard now. And then this other site that was like this. My guess is that he is a hanging skeleton in his bedroom. Yeah.

What? It's like so many hours of my life under this show. You think the Olympics made this man take his own life? Possibly. I mean, it almost made Mitch do it. Yeah, I was close. I think, I feel like also, with Halloween being yesterday, they probably didn't think it was a hung man.

They probably just thought it was a spooky setup. You know, I heard about that. That's one of those things where that's a snopes thing that gets circulated that someone did that, but it's actually true. That's one of the true snopes things. Oh my God. Yeah, there was a guy who killed himself on his front porch, like, on Halloween, and people just thought the hanging body was a Halloween decoration.

And that's, it's like true. It's like a new story. When snopes is true. Yeah, it's horrifying. The snopes have like, can you, can you search about Santa on snopes? I'm sure, yes, you can search for the term Santa on a website. You can do that. No, but I was like, well, will it like, could a child put in Santa on snopes and find out?

And see if Santa was real. Yeah. I don't think it's there to, to like disprove fairy tales. It's there to disprove like, you know, fake news stories and urban legends. To me, snopes in the dredge report are the same thing in my head, and I know they're not. Right. Snopes, conspiracy stuff.

Snopes will debunk things. Snopes is a debunker site. Dredge circulates conspiracies. Gotcha. Mmm. Okay, let's get into it. Yeah. It's an election year.

It is an election year. All those hotheads are out there. Yeah. Yes, those political hotheads. Ugh. I'm sick of all these Washington hotheads. Get these hotheads out of here. Hold them down.

Well, before, if, if I may. Yes. Before we go on, I know we've heard of the October surprise. Uh-huh. But I might have a November surprise. Oh, boy. Really? For the both of you.

Yeah. Really? So it's an election year. So Nick, we have a mutual friend in common from way back in the day who's chosen to remain an anonymous source. Okay. In this equation. And this person said to me, oh, I went to high school with Nick Weigar.

Whoa. I said, oh, I'm doing this podcast. I'm really looking forward to it. And this person said, oh, I knew him at Long Beach Pauly. Yeah. Pauly Technic High School. Yep. And this person also happened to have photographs of you from that time.

So I'm going to, I'm going to leave my seat for a second and circulate these photos. And these two, and these two Mitch first, I want to get, get his reaction and then I'll take a look at what they are. They're pretty pricey. I hope you guys will end up posting them on the Twitter account. You can tell which one is him, right? Oh yeah. Oh boy.

Oh man. Hold on a second. I'm not done yet. That's crazy. Weigar, what the fuck? Oh. It's actually, this is actually kind of, okay, so you're standing out watching on this one. Yeah.

This was apparently a birthday party. Oh, this was from a birthday party. Yeah. That you attended and you guys are all doing some sort of weird train in the pictures. I wonder if I'll ever, any memory of this event. I've forgotten a lot of high school. Jesus Christ. This is so crazy.

This is such a, I'm trying to figure out who it, I'm trying to reverse. Reverse engineer who you could possibly know. You know what I'm going to say? You know what I'm going to say is that your prom photo, you look pretty normal in your prom photo. Okay. Well, I got another one on my phone. You kind of look like a little stud in your prom photo.

Oh yeah. That's me with Erin Gutierrez, my prom date. Yeah. Living or deceased. She's alive. She's doing very well for herself. Okay. Oh yeah.

This is me. This looks like you with Erin again. Caption in a dream. Was that the theme of your prom? Yes. Or was that the song or what? I don't know. I have no idea.

I don't remember any of that shit. I think this is you with Erin again. Yeah. So this is a group photo that you handed me and then you've got one that's just the two of us in isolation. In this one you have like a little devious smile while you're standing behind her. I don't like it. And I'm sure that her and her parents did not enjoy the little smirk on your face.

Right. You know these, and then we got a series of black and white photos of an outdoor party. It's like a real fun party by the way. I can't make heads or tails of what's supposed to be, if you're dancing. There's a conga line and then I'm standing at the front of the conga line untouched. There's a girl Katie I went to high school with who is not putting her hands on me and then I'm just standing there awkwardly. I'm wearing very thick glasses which I did for a while.

Did you need them? I did. I had very thick prescription glasses I've since had Lasik surgery. Okay. I have no idea. Well yeah, we'll have to put these, we'll have to photograph these photos and put them up. This is crazy.

When I hand these back to you. Yeah. Thank you so much. First of all, you look like if you and molasses boy had a son in those pictures. Right. And it's also, is it true when you had Lasik surgery that you asked for supervision so you could look see through clothing? No Mitch, this is not true.

That's not, I'm going to look on snopes. Isn't it fun to hear the cadence in someone's voice when they're about to lay a sick burn on a body? No, I know it's coming. So I also asked this person, oh what was Nick like in high school? Just like the simple question and you know, I'm detached from all of this. This is just what this person described and this person said, the girls were best friends, the guys were super close, Nick would not talk to you, wouldn't make an effort.

He didn't try socially, he was so, so smart, he didn't dumb anything down for anyone. He was in marching band, but back then marching band wasn't lame. Huh, you know what, I challenged that concept of marching band not being lame. And then this person concluded by saying, communicating with him was hard, it was like pulling teeth with tweezers. Oh my, well, there's one thing I'll say about this person is that they're honest and right. Right. It sounds like you haven't changed at all.

I can't argue with any of that, I don't have a rebuttal. Again, I have no emotional attachment to any said observation. Right. Do you have a suspect list in mind as to who it could be? No, because I looked at the, okay the prom photos, it's probably someone from that, who is in those, or like who is in the group photo, probably, because why else would they have that photo? Right.

And then that would make sense that they would also have the individual since we were part of that group photo. Honestly, I looked through that group photo, I was like, I don't remember most of these people. Really? Yeah. You don't remember the people you went to prom with? No.

It was 20 years ago. It was, yeah. I'm 36 years old. That's true. So it was half a lifetime ago. You know what, I have my prom photo on my phone. Is it your background? It's my background.

Let's see if I can find it. Where is it? Oh no, oh my goodness, there's something. I never went to prom. Yeah, no prom for you? No. Where did you go to high school? I went to Kingwood High School in Kingwood, Texas.

Okay. I was just a little bit north of Houston. Right. Well, I went, you know what, I didn't go to my prom. I didn't go to senior prom. I went to prom when I was a junior and the girl who asked me was a senior. Oh, okay. And she was, at the time I think she identified as bisexual.

Okay. And then after that she shortly identified as just straight up lesbian after that one dance. So I'd like to think I had a hand in her finding her identity. Well, there you go. I'm proud of that. That's a good thing, yeah. No, yeah, it was great.

So as a Texan. Sure. We've had a number of, Texas is a big state. We've had a number of Texans on the pod and, you know, they like Tex-Mex barbecue come up a lot. Are those things that are forward in your mind in terms of the Texas dining experience? Yeah, you know, that's one of the things I miss most about being in Los Angeles is I feel like people say, oh, you know, California and LA, they have good Mexican food, but it

doesn't, doesn't ever seem that good to me. And I'm just wondering, and it's like one of those, maybe I'm losing my mind, but like I feel like the Mexican food where I grew up, like Tex-Mex, which as I understand it's just Mexican, but with like a shit ton more cheese sauce on everything, but like that is one thing. Like I've not experienced a restaurant in LA that can do queso well. It's tough to find executed well, even in a place that kind of specializes in it. And it feels like it's kind of a thing that's just everywhere down there.

Yeah. So I've kind of settled down for like, as far as Mexican goes in LA, like Mexico City on Hillhurst, I think it's pretty solid, it's good. I like Mexico City. Yeah. I feel like it gets a kind of a bad rap, but it's a good spot. It's good service, it's a nice enough atmosphere. Yeah.

It works, yeah. But there is definitely, like it's very different the LA, Southern California, generalized to all of California, Mexican food is different than what you'll get in Texas. And I think you just kind of maybe as a Texan have to just accept it as something different. I mean, I think it's though it's great, right? There's like, like tacos out here are great. Yes. Yeah.

What are your tacos? Yeah. Oh, a taco chuck? Terrific. Yeah. Out here, sure. I think it's just a different. It's a different style.

It's very sure. You know, I've never loved like breakfast tacos and I've never been like, oh, like I've had a great breakfast taco, but then when I was in Texas and I went to, yeah, torches tacos. Torches very good. In Austin? In Austin. And I had breakfast tacos there and I was like, these are good breakfast tacos. And even because there's a place on, what's it called, near Hillhurst that I'm sure you

go to, what's the taco-y, like the breakfast taco place that, shit, you don't know, do you? What? Is it a home state? Home state. Yes. Home state. Home state, I actually did enjoy.

That was actually the only one that I think I just recently went there for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Only place I thought I had halfway decent taste. Yeah. And even that place, I think the queso is good there, but even like the breakfast tacos, I'm like, yeah, they're okay. They don't blow me away. I'm a burrito guy anyways.

When it comes to tacos or burritos, I always go burrito. And I know that. I think you're different. Oh, I like tacos. I prefer tacos. But there was a time when I was a burrito man. Tacos are more manageable. Burritos, it's just like, it's an ordeal.

Yeah. I think. And they're getting bigger. It's a nice big deal. They keep getting larger, I feel like. Or are you getting smaller? Hmm. Right.

Consider it. I don't think it's getting smaller. I found my prom photo. Okay. Thank God. Oh, Mitch. You look great. You look like a little shit kicker.

A shit kicker? Yeah, you got like that high fade haircut. I love this. You look great. You look like a sweet man. You look, your date is lovely. It's a nice picture. I went with Kelly Darty and I remember when we went my junior year and we were friends

and we were like, next year we're going to go with like our own dates. Like we'll go with someone who's not our friend. Yeah. And then we came and we're like, you know, we're going to go together again. We both failed terribly. Did you guys end up going, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, I mean, the caption on that photo was, we got tonight. You know what?

That would have been so great. You know what? No. At high school there was nothing going on. Okay. But you know what? There was orcarina of time and Mario Kart 64, all the adventures I could want right there in my basement.

Do you ever play Majora's Mask? Oh, I loved Majora's Mask. Majora's, I think, see, okay, this is an unpopular opinion. Yeah, you're wrong. I prefer Majora's Mask to Orcarina of Time. You're wrong. They're both great. They're both great.

I mean, they're both great, but Majora's Mask is not better than Orcarina of Time. Wow. Kevin, are you much of a gamer? Well, my only hot take on the Zelda stuff is I think the main theme of Orcarina of Time sounds like the beginning of The Simpsons. Wow. It's just a spell of Simpsons in my mind. You know, the main, speaking of musical similarities between the works of composer

Koji Kondo and other pop culture, the main... I love this segment, I have a no voice. The main title music, and look this up, the main title music of Orcarina of Time, which is that when you see Link in a Pona just kind of in the field while the game menu is kind of... It's like... It's this gentle... Yeah.

Wow, that's pretty good. It's just sort of like this gentle sort of, you know, chords that are playing, and it's very, very similar to Variations on a Theme by Eric Satie. If you look that up, there's a blood, sweat, and tears cover of that that's pretty famous. Really? Yeah, so it's pretty directly... By the way, is that what you did in Marching Band? Did you do the vocal...?

Yeah. Right, right. No, what did you play in Marching Band? I played Alto Sax, I was a woodwind guy, played clarinet, saxophone, and bassoon, a little bit of flute. You were regular Clarence Clemens back in the Marching Band. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I bet you wish you could trade places with Clarence Clemens. Oh, yeah, because he's dead? Oh, gosh. He died at 69 years old, which I'm like, if you got to go out, that's the age my dad died at. The age? Yeah. You were sad, but at the same time, were you like, nice?

Yeah, I was like, yeah, give him a thumbs up. Also, I'm sorry that I jumped on you when you were like, did anything happen? I was like, no, that was just me reacting quickly. Oh, no, you're fine. It was still quite a few years off. We're still getting to know each other. I feel like you have two different kinds of guests on this show, people like your buddies and your bros that you've known from the UCB days for a long time.

I mean, you should be able to read that. We're both virginal dorks in different ways, Weigur and I. Sure. But yeah, no, I think prom night was, it was a fun, it was a fun night. You know, I don't even think prom is ever a fun thing. Yeah. Anyways. I don't think, whatever.

I don't care. Yeah. I had a fine time, but also like any life event, I do not, like I don't care. Do you think there's any high schoolers that listen to the Doughboys podcast? Like high schoolers? Yeah. Like people who might be looking, yeah, under 18. Relax there, buddy.

Nick is forming at the mouth. God damn it. No, but people that might be looking forward to their prom experiences coming up. You're going to have a good time, but just don't worry about it, because it's not that big of a deal. And also, you know what else I'll say is, I'm going to take a bite out of a, Spoonman's going to take a bite out of a... Chicago again?

Not Chicago. Weddings. Spoonman takes a bite out of weddings. Shit. Not a lot of fun. It's for... Yeah. I'm going to spend this next week, and it's one of my best friends growing up, a great

guy, but I just... They're not that fun. And you know what, I actually, there's a side of this that I kind of like. It's that thing of the groom is, he's sober, and I won't say his name, but he's been sober. And in my mind, I'm like, oh, there's no pressure to like have to party or something in my mind, which I feel like out of wedding. You feel pressure otherwise? I feel like when you go to a wedding, it's like, come on.

Drink up and have fun. You've got to have fun. The event of a wedding is, for whatever reason, it gets to me. It's too nerve-wracking. There's too much social interaction with people that I don't know that well. There's a lot of stuff that just bugs me about weddings. I think it's totally contingent on the number of people you know at the wedding and at the reception.

Because if it's like you're flying in from out of town, and it's like some childhood friends or something, it's like, yeah, it feels like work, but otherwise, if it's like, if you know more than 10 people at a wedding, I think it's one of the most fun things you can do. I have to go to three weddings in the next nine days. Wow. Starting this weekend. Yeah, so I'm flying to Dallas, going to go to a wedding for a couple that got engaged

on our podcast last year, and they invited us to their wedding. So I was like, what better, I'll never have this opportunity again. And they got engaged at the venue that we had our show this past December in Dallas, and they're getting married there as well. That's so cool. So they invited us. And then going to one here in Pasadena, here in town, and then flying out the next day to Birmingham, Alabama.

Oh my gosh. So I might die. Yeah. It's possible. For the sake of weddings. They're just kind of, you know what, and the food is, I'm happy for the people. It's truly just the event of the two people being together or whatever. But all the big wedding venues afterwards, and the meals are never as good as you think

they're going to be. Right. Let's be honest. Wedding meals never as good as you think they're going to be. Calpacus. Tim Calpacus actually had one of the best wedding meals. Well it was catered by Lowry's The Prime Rib. Yeah, he got Lowry's Prime Rib, which is great.

The wedding I'm going to on Friday, the girl works at Lowry's Prime Rib. Okay. I don't think they're catering for whatever reason. I know what you're saying, but like, I'm always delighted by wedding food though. You know what, I'll take a stand for wedding food. It's fine. You know what, that's never good, and I'm going to, you watch this Spoon Man segue right here.

Yeah. The dessert. Wedding cake is never that good. I think that, I agree with you, and I think to me that would just goes under cake is not as good as pie. But also, wedding cake in and of itself is, it's usually like they have to make this like big old cake, and so it's like a little drier than your normal cake. The distribution of frosting is more intended for presentation than for consumption.

Yeah. There are all sorts of factors that limit it. I will say my favorite wedding dessert I've ever had was a friend of mine got married a couple years ago, and it was BYOP, and a bunch of people brought their own pies. Oh wow. So we all had different pieces of everyone else's pies. And it was terrific. I'm glad Weigar wasn't invited.

You probably would have shown up with a jar of piss, right? To a fuck it. Because I'd take pee to mean urine instead of pie. BYOP, I feel like you would have shown up with a jar of piss. I would have shown that the pee was, the part of the acronym was not pie, but with pee as a urine. Yeah, that's probably the mistake I would make. Piss.

I would bring a jar of piss to a wedding. Does Weigar bring bees when it's BYOP, does he bring a jar of bees? Does he bring the jar of bees? We've told him multiple times, don't bring a jar of live bees, but he does. Whatever consonant it is, it'll just affix. Two E's and an S. All right, I got a mad with that one. Anyways, let's talk that cold iced cream.

I had one question before you jump into force mode. This is pertaining to Gilmore Girls, which is a show I'm not familiar with, but I know you're an expert. Mitch isn't on board. No. I'm 100% on board. I'm curious about the presence, this is the thing I've read about, the presence of coffee as an element in Gilmore Girls.

Yeah, well, Jessica McKenna, I think when she did your podcast a couple of episodes ago, brought up the relation to coffee in Gilmore Girls, yeah, it's pretty all over the place. And to me, it kind of feels like one of those relics of the 90s, where it's like the friends went to Central Perk and had coffee and those mugs, and then it was like all over the promotion and marketing of it. I mean, in Gilmore Girls, it does carry a little more symbolic and emotional weight because of Luke and Lorelai's relationship.

Luke is the diner owner and he gives her the coffee, so it does have symbolic merit to it. But it is so funny because these new episodes are coming out for the show in a couple of weeks, actually. Which is great. Which is great for me. Yeah. Which is great for us, most important of all.

But in the promos, they're really leaning in on the coffee thing. The first poster of the new show was the title of the show, In a Coffee Mug, and then some text above it. And then another poster they put out is the two girls drinking their coffee mugs, all over again. So, yeah, it's all over the place with that show. But the thing is, they're not coffee snobs. It's not like this is a French bean, this is a Colombian roast.

It's like someone did a really in-depth, I think maybe Kelly Connoboy? If you're familiar with her work? Did an in-depth piece on how the coffee at Luke's is probably just Folgers. It's probably just nothing, like it's not good at all, but they just out of habit continue to go there. Right, right. Over and over again. I feel like I don't want to ever break things down into gender categories, but I feel like

for my mom and sister, especially my sister, just growing up and stuff, like her getting coffee with her friends was like such a big part of her hanging out or like on the weekends going and getting coffee was iced coffee and stuff was like a fun little event. And I feel like with guys, it's usually just like, you never go and get coffees together or something. I feel like it's just, out here in LA, definitely meetings and stuff like that, you'll go and get coffee. That's more it, yeah.

Yeah, but I feel like it's more just like, ugh, this will wake me up. We're kind of shittier about coffee. It's not like there's a purpose there. It's not like we're just going to meet and hang out and have a conversation. It's a good like soft first date. Oh sure. That's a good call. Yeah.

Well, I don't know. Well, how do you guys feel about daytime dates? You know what? I was at, so the other day, this was actually on Sunday, Mitch, when we went down to Anaheim together. Yeah. And Sunday, so I went to the Santa Monica pool and I went for an early morning swim and then afterwards I went to get a cup of coffee at a nearby felt shop.

Over here. I went to get a coffee at a nearby shop and there was a couple, it was like 9.30 in the morning and there was a couple clearly meeting for the first time on a coffee date. And they were like, they were like in their 40s. What time was it again? Like 9.30 a.m. on a Sunday. Interesting. They're strange.

That's like, that's a strange decision, right? That feels like work. That's a first date. 9.30 on a Sunday feels like work. Yeah. But you know what? Here's what I'll say about it. Like on a morning date, like it is like, like with a nighttime date, it's like, oh, we're

going to go get dinner and then like we might go get drinks or something like who knows what will happen or something like pressures off on a morning. Yeah. You're going to have your coffee. You're going to say hello and goodbye. What I like about coffee is that it is very open and in because you can say I got a run or you can stay there for three and a half hours if you want to. Yeah.

But a morning date is, yeah, that's a morning dates are strange. I would never do morning. I would do after I would do morning if we'd been dating for a while right for a first date. It would seem very unusual. You know, out there if you've got a opinion on day dating versus night dating, if you like day dates, use the hashtag daywalker and if you like, if you like night dates, hashtag night is right.

Night is right. Yeah. Also, I got to say that it must not have been great for their first date when you walked in and your swim trunks soaking wet. Okay, look, I dry myself off after I swim. I don't walk out drenched in pollinated water. I didn't like, I dried myself off and changed my clothes. I'm a person who knows how to live.

A little defensive. You just don't enjoy living. You're talking about me bringing jars of urine to a wedding and walking out of a pool locker room soaking wet. He called you Michael Phelps. It was a compliment. I got that compliment and I'm just saying, like, I know how to function in the real world. I'm not like an insane man.

I would argue that you don't really know how to function in the real world, but that's fine. I'm going to confer with my high school source about it and see what she says. I am curious. He was always so... Oh, is she? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, okay. May I sit down by about 50%? Uh-oh. Kill list just got smaller. The number of girls I actually talked to in high school, I think there are maybe three candidates. Who are the three? No, no.

Okay. I was being hyperbolic. No, no. Three is too much. Kevin... He knows who it is now. So Kevin, Cold Stone Creamery. Yes, sir.

How did you develop a relationship with Cold Stone? I remember Cold Stone was the place that a lot of my friends in high school ended up working for whatever reason. Kristen, Liz, Emily, they all worked at Cold Stone and at one point I applied for a job at Cold Stone and I forget what happened in the audition process because it did feel like an audition because he did say sing a song during the interview process because of the songs they sing. Yeah.

We leave a tip. I don't like that interviewer sounds kind of like... He was very cut to the chase. We weren't sitting down. We were standing up outside of the freezer, I remember. It was odd. It was a morning date, too. It was like 9.30 on a Sunday.

It truly was, I think, like 9.30 on a Sunday. But yeah, Cold Stone kind of became the place that I hung out at and would just visit my friends because they were working and then invariably they'd slip me like a free scoop or something. That's great. And because in Kingwood, there was the culture of it. There were great local Mexican restaurants, but otherwise not a lot of local culture in terms of desserts or sweets or anything like that.

Like out here, I mean, Ginny's is a bit of a chain at this point, but we have places like Carmelas or Salton Straw, which I know there's one in Portland, but we have a lot more to choose from whereas... Sweet Rose Creamery is a local favorite of mine. McDonald's, I know that people like, but I don't know how big that is at this point. Yeah, I think McDonald's is still pretty localized. Yeah, okay. Yeah, but in Kingwood, we didn't have anything like that.

So yeah, that just kind of became the go-to. There was Cold Stone and then there was another one on the other side of Kingwood. If you go a little bit north on Kingwood Drive called Marble Slab, which seemed like a real... Was that a chain or was that local? So in my limited research into this episode, this is a Hydrox Oreo situation where Hydrox actually predates Oreo, but everyone thinks that Hydrox is a rip-off of Oreo. Same thing, Marble Slab apparently predates Cold Stone Creamery, but Cold Stone perfected the formula and got much, much bigger, but there's still a few Marble Slabs out there.

Yeah, well, their logo is better. The Marble Slab logo is kind of gross-looking. It's just a little bland. Marketing goes a long way. Yeah. Man, that's the thing about Hydrox is they look like a cookie that is marketed at your grandma. And it sounds like an element.

Yeah, right. I don't want to name an element. Right. Yeah, I'm wondering that Marble Slab vs. Cold Stone would be like a nice test to see which... When I have an Hydrox and I have an Oreo, I'm like, oh, Oreos, to my taste buds, this is just better. But I do remember the sweet cream flavor at Marble Slab was better. Okay.

I do remember that. See, that's big. Yeah, I've never had Marble Slab, so maybe we'll find out in our adventures through Doughboy. Are they still operating? I don't know. I'm just... If we get to the point where we do a Marble Slab, it's even a gross name.

Slab is not appealing on any level. They fucked up, yeah. Hopefully we're on a metal slab before we go to your Marble Slab. He means they hope they're dead. So when you go there in high school, do you remember, did you have like an order you'd go to? Did you have a thing that was your favorite? I did the sweet cream.

I did not do a lot of mix-ins. I wasn't big on, especially when it's like a vanilla thing. The mix-ins just kind of complicated too much. So I would do that or I would do cotton candy. So just like a straight-up flavor. I think so, yeah. And then whatever seasonal they had, I would get maybe like a scoop. That's interesting because so much of what Cold Stone is known for is its mix-ins.

That's so much of the gimmick is that they've got this kind of softer cream ice cream that they're mixing with those... It's kind of like 21 Flavors in Pasadena, which is a local place where it's like we have 21 Flavors and like a shit ton of, and a lot more than Cold Stone does, like a bunch of mix-ins with that. The other memory I have from Cold Stone High School is one night I was just hanging out so much talking to my friends and they're like, do you want to come behind the counter? I was like, sure.

And so I worked at Cold Stone for a night, just one night, just violating like a shit ton of health codes. And I would like scoop stuff and I would get stuff for them in the back and help them do dishes just because it was fun and I thought it'd be fun and funny. That's very funny. That is fun and funny. Just a little fantasy camp. Yeah, it was.

It's fun. I think there's pictures from that time. I didn't bring them, but I think they're on Facebook somewhere. That's like a fun high school thing where you would, like a yourself- I want to work in food service. Yeah, you're bored and you work in food service for the night. You said Cold Stone High School and it just made, it sounds like the worst, like what's it called?

I don't know what you're driving at. I'm saying like a, oh god, just shut the podcast down. Keep it going. Sponsored, like sponsored content. Oh, right. Cold Stone High School. Yeah. It seems to me like the sort of thing of like a nightmare.

Oh, like we flashed forward to like 2024 and we're all going to Cold Stone High School and brought to you by like, yeah. Kids love Cold Stone, the show Cold Stone High School or something like that. Which I feel like isn't that far, actually not that far away. Yeah, you can sell that bitch. I know that Saturday Night Live has recently done, like they've taken on commercial sponsorships, right? Like they've like.

Yeah, they'll do branded integration. Branded integration, thank you. That's not a common for Sketch Friday. I mean, worked at Funny or Die, we do a lot of those. That was kind of how you'd sustain the creative side is that the editorial side is that you'd do these branded videos and so you'd make like, yeah, I made all sorts of stuff for like Pepsi and Skittles over the years. And not as branded podcasts, too.

There's, yeah. Right. Even, I believe, Gimlet Media, the podcast network started a podcast just about eBay and like how to sell stuff, but it was tangentially related and they only mention eBay like once in every episode. It wasn't like, you log on to eBay, it was about like small businesses, but it did really well for them. So they're going to make a shit ton more branded content.

That's interesting. That's interesting, yeah. Guys. Benadryl presents Doe Boyz. Doe Boyz Pod. Or whatever razors you guys use to kill yourselves, that could be the sponsor for your final show. Gimlet. Oh man, that'd be great.

I think it'd be Harry's razors. Gimlet. Harry's razor. Harry's razor. Harry's razor. We did a Harry's razor thing. Right. We can talk about how it slices right through all your...

Dollar Shave Club. Sweet, sweet release for only a dollar. But yeah, you can see that on SNL more, there's like they're like, we're at the Honda factory or whatever. Yeah, and Kimmel does them and show them we're going on right now at Midnight does it. It's like a very common thing. It's like in sketch variety. It's because all these media companies are based on linear advertising soon and then

commercial, the rates for commercials are going down because everyone watches things online or DVRs through commercials and so they're trying to find ways to throw the actual brands into the content of the show. Does that bother you as a consumer, as a viewer of these shows? I think it makes everything less, it makes everything feel less, it lowers the entertainment value a little bit and it makes it feel a little bit less, what's the word I'm looking for? Less like art.

Authentic? Yes, authentic. Authentic is a good way. Okay, yeah. I'm going to take away from that a little bit. Yeah. But I mean, what are you supposed to do? It's just the expectation now because like you say no to it and it's just like, okay,

you don't have a show, hire someone new. You don't get to live. You don't get to work. It is weird to be like, you're like, oh, we're living in that dystopia that like everyone had joked about forever of like, like at the branded shows and I guess it just will happen eventually, it will happen more and more, I guess, yeah. I mean, there's a version of this show that is fully branded and it's just that companies pay.

There's this version of the show already. It's just you guys aren't getting money from it. Right, right. No, if it was branded though, then you would have to give positive reviews to everything you did. That's the thing, right? Yeah. Yeah.

But I mean, honestly too, like in terms of, we have a, we're not the biggest podcast out there where we have a not insignificant reach in terms of the number of listeners we have. You have global listeners at this point. Yeah. And so we basically just did a month long ad campaign for Red Lobster on Via New Media. You didn't know it was an ad campaign? I think I gave it one lobster pile of it.

Yeah. We got a tweetback. We got some nice emails. But I mean, like it was, I mean, I don't know. I mean, there's probably a version where if we were savvier, if you and I basically were smart about the business we work in, which we're not, which is why we're failures, but if we were smart at that, we could have found a way to parlay that into some sort of paola. But again, you know, it comes down to that from an ethical standpoint that don't boys

can't be bought. So it's all a moot conversation. Yeah. We'll die penniless. You guys have ethics? I think so. Maybe not me. But you know what?

As far as being nice to brands, you know, we've talked about like, oh, like, we just want to review things for real on the show, I gotta say, I don't have really great fond memories of Cold Stone. So is this a place you've been to before, right? I have been to Cold Stone before and I remember like kind of when I, like, this is like 2005, 2006, when I first was out here, and people are like, oh my God, Cold Stone, I kind of had like a... That was the talk of the town in LA?

Cold Stone was a big deal for our short, probably right around 2005. When did you come out to LA? Well, I came in 2009 in the talk of the town. Then was Yogurtland, Menchee, Seatberry, that's it. Cold Stone just missed the Cold Stone. Cold Stone had that Yogurtland, or what was the other, the place we did with our lab, yes. Cold Stone used to have that Yogurtland buzz, wow, or if only, chase the dream down.

I think Pinkberry had a big hype at one point. That was the predecessor of Yogurtland, the press. I feel like Pinkberry just looked cool. It did, it used to have a very... The experience wasn't that cool. But the minimalism made you think like, oh, is it a yogurt shop, is it an Apple store? I don't know, but I'm gonna eat there. It was perfect for West Hollywood, Beverly Hills, West LA, it kind of fit into that sort

of like, oh, this is trendy and cool and very clean and simple. To bring in another SNL comparison, it's that sort of thing of with any of these places when people are like, I love David Pumpkins, and then there was this big online thing of whether David Pumpkins is good or bad. There was a huge outpouring of everyone, loved David S. Pumpkins, and there was some David S. Pumpkins backlash. Backlash. Well, you know, it's just a late David sketch again.

You know, it's just that. So there's a lot of that. I know it is funny. And then the Jesse David Fox article on Vulture, it is a wild trajectory of like, oh, this is a silly sketch. Yeah, what on earth happens in our world now? It's the most confusing thing on earth that like any of this, anything like this is talked about, but...

It is so funny, by the way, to watch a TV show and to feel the think pieces being written about each scene. This last episode, Westworld, where the girl's looking at the black robot with the big dick. It's like, oh, shit, well, this is going to be a fury on the internet. Right. A lot of that. Weigar, I heard that you, you know how people use like, wear out their records? I heard you wore out your TVR on that moment.

That guy did, I mean, he did have a big dick. It was like, but that is a thing of like, yeah, you do kind of feel it in real time in the same way when you hear a politician make a gaffe in a debate, you're kind of like, oh, that's going to be a big thing. That's going to be the big narrative. Hashtag nasty woman. Right. Trend, yeah.

Exactly. It's the same, you're right, Kevin, and just like you have that same like filter now when you're consuming media because that's just what the news segment is. Do you guys feel it when you make gaffes on this show? What people are going to be trending on this? I think we're just always afraid. I think we'll always afraid that we'll get in, because I think that Nick, when it comes down to it, Nick and I are both scared men.

Right. I feel the exact same way. I will say just as a straight white man making a podcast, we can all relate, hey? The email situation can be stressful, right? Because you might always say something deeply problematic, which it's like a small price to pay. Yeah, and that's a thing that does, I think, it annoys me slightly and I think that's why Nick always makes jokes about me being like a Trump follower, but it's more about freedom

of speech and I think that we're both pretty similarly liberal, progressive. We want good things for everyone in this world. We're not trying to close out any color or creed or exclude it. I know. See? This is the reason. I'm not a good speaker. I'm not trying to get myself in trouble, but I think that we're never trying to make anyone

feel excluded. We're not trying to inflame. We're not trying to inflame. We're not trying to get particularly political on this podcast, even if you guys have strong political opinions. I think everyone is better than me. Yeah. I mean, I think two men who hate themselves, we think that every, you know what I mean?

I definitely think probably the average person has more to contribute to society than I do. I think we both feel the same way about that. I feel like I'm a leech. Yes. Here's what I think the key to it is, is because podcasts and your listenership, if someone's listened to every episode of Do It Boys, they've listened to you talk for upwards of a hundred hours at this point. So hopefully, even if you screw up here and there and say something troubling, they understand

and believe in the heart behind what you're saying, right? Yes. Where it's like, well, I've known Nick and Mitch for a long time and I know that they wouldn't think that, so they probably just had a slip of the tongue when they used the humor. Right. I think that I was just thinking, as you're saying this, I'm like, hmm, a lot of friends will probably sell us out immediately, stab us in the back.

Yeah. No, I can totally see that. I feel like when someone commits a horrific crime and then their friends or their former co-workers are on the news talking about how they always had like... He was troubled. Yeah. I feel like I can envision people doing that about me. Like I can picture the people just going out and saying, like, oh, yeah, he was...

You can tell from this picture in high school where no one was touching him in the car that something was amiss. Well, see, so this is my issue with when people are... When they go to the extremes of all this, when they say like, oh, this is the best sketch ever or whatever. I think Cold Stone got some of that treatment. When I got out here, like, there were like multiple people were like, have you had Cold Stone?

I'm like, no. I'm like, it's... It's so funny because 2005, 2006, by the way, would be when I was in high school going there and hanging out at the Cold Stone, so I guess that tracks. Yeah. People loved it. It was kind of one of those pre-Pinkberry... I mean, there's a place like this every few years, I feel like.

What is it now? If it's not Pinkberry... I was trying to think of what it is right now and I actually don't know. I think five guys has been a part of this. What else would you say? But as far as like desserts go... As far as desserts? As far as the desserts go, it's probably Jennies and Jennies is probably close to even passing,

but what would you say now? Well, I think because of the disease stuff, Jennies missed her shot. Right. Yeah. I mean, that also, like, it's tough to think in a nationwide sense, like, what is the dessert trend right now? Yes. Is it ice cream?

Is it getting away from dairy? I mean... There was a cone nut thing for a while, but that was a few years ago. Yeah. I think that can be it, too. I think it goes in between chains and then a specific, like, a cone nut or something. You know, there's all these different things that it can be, but there's always one thing that's like, the country is obsessed over these one things.

And that's... I don't think you do a thing like any favors of... You don't do David Pumpkin's any favors, you don't do Cold Stone cream or any favors when you're like, this is the best thing on earth. You need to try it. There's a rush to hyperbolic language. Yes. That's a big part of our current culture.

Like, this is everything. This person won Halloween. Yes. That's a big part of the... Or they failed Halloween. Yeah, exactly. And I think that's also too that comes from, and it's a cliche to say clickbait, but that's kind of like the internet media of, like, in terms of trying to get people's attention,

that's kind of the way you have to frame things, right? Yeah. Because that's what works because if you have a strong opinion of someone agrees with it, they're going to be like, yes, and share it. And if they disagree with it, they're going to be like, no, and share it and say why they disagree with it. Yeah, why would nuanced clickbait headlines look like? This guy had some strengths and weaknesses all at once.

David S. Pumpkins is an effective sketch that heightens correctly, but perhaps isn't particularly groundbreaking. By the way, one last thing on David S. Pumpkins, do you feel like they were thinking of Paul F. Tompkins? It's so similar. Just the cadence of it in the syllables. That's very funny. Middle initial something kins.

Right. Yes. Might have been in someone's head. Paul F. Tompkins might have a lawsuit on his hands. Oh, finally. Let's talk about... I've been waiting for one. Let's talk about Cold Stone Creamery a little bit more.

So I had a similar thing, similar first experience with you, Mitch, in that it was with my brother actually. I was interning with Sun Microsystems where my brother works. He had nepotism. He got me an internship for the summer. Disgusting. Yeah. I agree.

Yeah, I agree with that. And then we went out to Cold Stone Creamery one night, and he took me there with some of his friends, and I was living and working in San Diego at the time, and it was the same sort of thing. Like, what? You haven't had Cold Stone? You have to have Cold Stone. And I didn't have a lot of money, so I didn't want to pay for it.

I was like, I don't want Cold Stone. My brother's like, oh, get you Cold Stone. You have to have this Cold Stone. Man, you're right. Your brother's a douchebag. Sounds like a true asshole. He's a good guy. And I got it, and it was really good.

I really liked it. I have no memory of what I actually got, but my Cold Stone experiences over the years have been satisfactory. I'd say not mind-blowing, but it's good ice cream. It's good ingredients in there, and everything's well mixed. I had one bad incident which I've talked about in the podcast before, which is that one time I got a peanut butter and chocolate one, and someone accidentally dropped some mints in there, some peppermints.

So I got peanut butter and chocolate, but with just like a few straight chunks of peppermint. That ruins it. It was disgusting. It was really fucking gross. But other than that, everything's been solid, and I think leading into tonight's experience, it was a similar sort of thing. Let's talk about what we all had. So Kevin, you and I arrived there, we waited a little bit for Mitch to show up.

What was your order for tonight? My order for tonight, and I really struggled with should I just get the ice cream straight up, or should I get a little fancy with it? And I got, I ended up getting a cake batter shake with sugarcone pieces mixed into it, in a like it size for the record. Yeah, is there someone maintaining a Wikipedia of everything that you and the guests have ever gotten? They were, and then the Olympics happened, and then they stopped updating the website.

They stopped. Yeah, so that was mine. It was something, I feel comfortable drinking a shake. I like the idea of like, sometimes like as a grown man, it is funny to just like have a little cup, and then a spoon that you're like feeding, it feels like you're eating cereal at home, but with the shake, there's almost the idea of like, well, you know, maybe there's a soda in here, maybe there's water in here, especially when it's like not a clear container.

Yeah. So I like the idea of like a shake and having that, not to at all dismiss what both of you gentlemen got. Oh no. For things in cones. Well, I was kind of jealous. Go on. No, no, you go first.

I was just gonna say to our listeners out there, if you prefer shakes to ice cream, hashtag shake it baby. And if you prefer, I was gonna say hashtag shake it on. Oh, shake it on is good. Yes. Hashtag shake it on. And if you don't like shakes, you prefer solid ice cream, hashtag shake it off. Oh, so.

At least you got the second part, right? I thought it was easy, I was shaking on. He teed that up. It's a dichotomy. All right. I wish I had gotten a shake. Yeah. I, you know, it's funny because a lot of the times when I go to the place that used to,

and now called the ice cream power, it used to be at Brigham's in my hometown, I would get a frappe. And I always got a frappe over, over ice cream. Is it frappe or frappe hay? I've never had one. I've always said frappe. I'm with Mitch on this. Yes.

Oh yeah. I think some people do, do the frappe hay because like when they sell at Dairy Queen, they put like a, like an accent on the last E. Right. That's what I'm thinking about. So I think it just varies. But if you, I think if you get it from Starbucks, it's just a frappe. I could be wrong.

Okay. Yeah. Hashtag frappe or crap. Is this how we do it? Perfect. Okay. You've done just as well as we've ever done with that one hashtag. I think that's probably the best one.

Yeah. That's the best one. I got myself a mud pie mojo, which is coffee ice cream with Oreo, peanut butter, roasted almonds and fudge. And I also got a chocolate ice cream mixed in on there. And I got it in a bowl and I got a cone bowl that had like fudge around the edge of it. Here's the issue. As you guys saw, it was gigantic.

There was a few issues. It was, there was a few, it was, it was fucking gigantically huge. It was so huge. And I forgot about that whole system of like it, love it, gotta have it, gotta have it. If this was a gotta have it, it was still fucking gigantic. It was huge. It was way too big. Did you want it?

Gotta have it? Or were you just... No, I just wanted to say... I truly was just like that same cup size that Weigher has and I pointed to the cup size and she said, the big one. I said, sure. And I do... I gotta like it.

So she was, she upsold you. Yeah. Which, which, whatever. I mean... Also she was like, who's Weigher? Did she say that? I wish she did. Her and the rest of America.

That's true. It's not wrong. They don't know me either. That's true. They don't know me either. So, I was like, just, I mean, she seemed to not care. Let's let, I mean, I walked into the, I walked into Cold Stone. It, besides you two eating your ice creams, it was, cause I was like, it was completely

empty. It was a little dead. It was, it was completely empty. This is in downtown Burbank. Downtown Burbank. And it was just such a funny, cause I think the last time I went was maybe in 2006 or whatever when I, when I went with people were like, you gotta have Cold Stone. Was it at that one?

It was at that one actually, yes. And it was so, it was very crowded. It was super, super crowded. It was on, I mean, it was the summertime. It was a summer day, but like, it would, like the line was out the door. It was, it was a little bit colder today than it's been. Yeah. In the last couple of weeks.

When the early eating. It was, it was, yeah. It was, but it was dead. I mean, it was, it was, it was dead. I feel like, like the, the employees were literally in the back, just like not coming to the front of the store. Right. And they weren't on their phones.

They were staring at the ground, wondering whether we were wrong. Yeah. The door swung open and we just saw them staring at the ground. It's like the Blair Witch Project. They were just looking at the corner. There was one in the corner and yeah, and the girl who came and even helped me, she just seemed like she, she was. Was this Maisie?

Over it. Not to call out. I'm not sure if it was Maisie or not. I don't know if you got to look at the girl who was helping me out. I don't remember the name tags. Maisie helped me and Nick out. Oh, okay. So, I mean, she didn't find it was just that sort of thing of like, like this is like way

too much. It's not, like almost took the enjoyment of the ice cream away from it. The, the taste of the ice cream itself was, I mean, it was good. There was, there was, there was a lot going on and there was just like kind of a little too much chocolate and stuff. Yeah. I didn't finish it, of course. I couldn't even get close to the cone.

You didn't finish a quarter of it. I don't think I did finish a quarter of it. It was like a full pine of ice cream. Yeah. It was, I even think it was more than a pine of ice cream. Yeah. It might have been two pints of ice cream. Wow.

It was, it was huge. It was heavy. It was way heavier than like a pint of Ben and Jerry's or something like that. But yeah, I mean, it was, it was tasty and it had its moments, but I shouldn't have, she kind of pushed me in the direction of it. She's like, you're going to love that. If you like chocolate and you like peanut butter, I was like, yeah, and I kind of asked for a recommendation.

I just shouldn't have. I should have gone with my gut. Yeah. And just got something else. But I just, the other thing too is that cold stone had changed. When I went in there before, there was an oval table, table that you walked to, right? Wasn't it like a... I don't, I've never been at that location before.

I think it's, I think that they become more, didn't there used to be like, like cold, wasn't there like a counter in the middle? It was kind of more like a, it was like more... Sorry a little more. It was more like a presentation. Like it was like, I think a circular counter or something that you walked around. That must, that might have been locations, but the one I remember in Kingwood, it was much like it was tonight.

Maybe there was a little more visibility of the actual cold stone as they're preparing it, but otherwise it was pretty similar. Right. This one, this one, like it felt so, for me, I think that it changed. I'm not positive, but I really think that it changed. I think it was much more presentational. I think there was the slab in the middle, and then I think it was like a big long oval thing that you walked around.

I don't, this looks like a Baskin Robbins, and they don't sing songs anymore. All of it is dead. Oh, we got a song, but it was pulling teeth a little bit. Yeah, it was, so that was the thing that I remembered so much because what's his face on a Sunday at 9.30 in the morning said, sing a song. You're gonna have to sing, and it's like customary as a cold stone employee. You get a tip, you sing a song, and back, you know, back in our day, it was like a scoop and we will go, a mix and we will go, hi ho the Dario, we thank you for your dough.

Something cute like that. Right, yeah. The song tonight was very much like, this is, it was, I got 99 problems, but a tip ain't one. It was a little aggressive. Yeah, standing in for bitch in this scenario. That's really straight, that's very straight. Right?

It wasn't about dairy at all. It could have been about anything. They were very reluctant too because we handed over, we chipped a buck, and we, like, I think you had to say, like, can we get a song? You had to like ask for the song. Yeah, I just thought it would happen. Right. I just thought it was an Oopalumpan situation, which is like, you put it in, it's gonna

happen. It used to be that, but you had to like request the song after we'd given the cash tip, and then the woman who helped us out was like, like, kind of sighed and turned to her friend. It was so congratulations. And was like, do you want to do a song? And then they kind of at like a level four out of ten intensity delivered this Jay-Z version. I got 99 problems, but a tip ain't one.

Right. It was like, we're on there. I mean, I relate to their enthusiasm for their job, because like, that's kind of how I feel, but if you had to sing on that midnight, that's what you'd be singing at. Yeah. I gave a two, he's 100% right. Right. I gave a two dollar tip and she saw, I put the change in first, and I saw her go, thank

you. And then I put the dollar and she said, thank you again. And then she walked back to the back room, which I don't blame her. Maybe that was a really short song. I think she was doing the Lance Morsets. The Lance Morsets, thank you. So as far as what I got, I got the founder's favorite. I figured I'd trust Donald and Susan Sutherland and see what they liked best.

I almost got that one. I got the sweet cream ice cream with pecans, brownies, fudge, and caramel, and I got that served over a chocolate dipped waffle bowl. Let me tell you, this was real yummy. I mean, I really like their birthday flavor. They've got this birthday cake batter is their version. They've got a really good birthday flavor, so it's tempted to get something with a birthday flavor.

But I just figured I'd try the founder's favorite. In honor of Mitch being in the birthday boy scene. Of course. He does everything in honor of me. And the sweet cream ice cream, though, is like a very good basis. I like that it's not vanilla exactly. Yeah. It's just like a very basic sweet ice cream.

Pecans were great in this. They were just like a nice component because it wasn't overwhelming with chocolate with the brownies and the fudge. And then the caramel was just like a really good, well-rounded treat. I get why the founders were like, this is our favorite. We're going to put our name on it and say, if you're going to get something, get what Susan and Donald Sutherland used to order. How old are the founders?

Is it that old of a place? It's like been around for 30 years, so I mean, if they started it in their 30s, they're... The founders just seems like it seems to like... Grandios? Sounds like mythical gods. Right. It's God's favorite flavor. I think those guys who started that undersea libertarian community in Bioshock, it's kind

of like, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But it's not really like a, yeah, you're right. It's a little grandiose for an ice cream parlor, but that's what they call it. I'll give them that respect. Chocolate dipped waffle bowl, it's fine.

I feel like it's just like the chocolate element was unnecessary and didn't really add much. I didn't have any, but it didn't look fresh. Yeah. It didn't feel fresh. It didn't taste fresh. And by the time I'd worked my way through the ice cream, I didn't find myself at all motivated to finish it, so I basically just had a cone bowl that I paid for. Which is a big contrast with a place like Jenny's, where it's almost like they're showing

off how much they're making it before the ice. And it's delicious. It always smells like waffle, yeah. It smells like waffle. It's always a little bit hot. It's a little bit warm. Yeah. I broke off a piece of mine because I couldn't, I literally couldn't eat the ice cream.

So it was, there was so much of it. So I... It was like watching a man climb a mountain and give up and I love it. It was truly delightful. There were moments eating it that I liked it, but for ice cream, I was a little bit, I was not satisfied. And the cone bowl didn't help either, but go on, I'll save it for my final thoughts. Yeah.

Well, let's get to our final thoughts at this point. So Kevin, you've heard the body guess before, you know how this works. We'll each go around, give our closing argument on this chain, and then end with a rating. Since this is an ice cream place, we'll save from one to five spoons. Ooh. Kevin. So the nation will be delighted. We'll start with you.

Well, I have a lot of nostalgic attachment to it, but not that much. Not enough to sway it for me one way or the other. Based on our experience tonight, and this is probably the first time I'd been to a cold stone in maybe two years, I went to the one outside of the arc light in Pasadena maybe two or three years ago, and it was okay. We snuck our scoops in, it was all right. I was pretty good with the milkshake until I got to the whipped cream part, and the whipped cream was basically cool whip, and I was not on board for that.

Some places have delightful whipped cream, so even like Starbucks, I think for all of its fallibles, foilables, foibles, foibles, there we go, has really good whipped cream because they make it in house. Cold stone did not. So that kind of literally left a bad taste in my mouth. This was just okay, not horrific. I didn't think she wanted to kill us, but I didn't think she liked us at all. And how could you not like us?

So I'm going to give it a reticent three out of five spoons. Wow. Three spoons. Yeah. Go ahead, Mitch. Well, I can't get mad at cold stone for all the hype anymore because the hype is dead. It's gone. I mean, you walk in there and it looks very much like a Baskin Robbins or any ice cream

place. Do you think they'll go out of business in the next 10 years? A part of me does think yes. It felt like a place that I was like, this is kind of, I mean, I don't know, maybe because it's just kind of a big national ice cream chain. There's just always... International too. International ice cream.

There's always kind of a place for that, but I've never, like the slabs and putting the ice cream on the cold slab and mixing stuff in, I never really cared that much about it. It's great. I'm happy they do it, but I just, I don't care and I rave about Brigham's on this podcast a lot and this to me is just no Brigham's. It just kind of feels like a corporate, kind of a bigger corporate knockoff of Brigham's even though Brigham's was a big corporation.

I got a song they can sing, The End by the Doors because I think it's almost all over for this place. Yeah, it's just, listen, I know that we've talked about yogurt land and we've reviewed yogurt land and pinkberry and I genuinely did enjoy my experiences at those two places more than Cold Stone. Literally the only thing I like about Cold Stone is that I sometimes accidentally say Stone Cold as in Stone Cold Steve Austin. Who you think is one of the greatest fictional characters of all time.

I've said this before, but I think that Stone Cold is one of the 50 best fictional characters of all time. Stone Cold Steve Austin and you know I'm right. I think Stone Cold is great, he's a great wrestler, he's a great performer. That's just top 50 fictional characters. We're going back to Aesop's fables, Greek mythology, Charles Dickens, Mark Twain. Yeah, Stone Cold is a million times better than Aesop. Well Aesop is like the, he's not like a character within his fables really.

He's not the guy. All right, well whatever. He beats Aesop no matter what. I think that Stone Cold is better than Aesop. Like okay fine, Stone Cold the wrestler is better than the guy of the titular part of Aesop's fables I guess. Man thank you for saying that. I don't even know who Aesop is really.

I just know that he's associated with all those stories like the tortoise and the hare. The ice cream was messy, it was just a big, you saw it was a big fucking mess. We didn't even talk about the names of all the different specialties. Oh my god. We looked, we were looking at the names because you were saying that it was like, oh some of these are puns and we were looking over them and then there was one that specifically it is a pun but it doesn't stretch. You want to say what it is?

The pun, well the one you were looking at that really infuriated you was the pie who loved me. The pie who loved me which is based on the spy who loved me, correct? The guy who loved me, it's just about a guy. But why, there was no other like movie references, there was no movie references at all. Why was it called the pie who loved me? And it has no connection to espionage or anything because it's like a branded James Bond tie-in. No, there was no tie-in whatsoever.

There's not a watch at the bottom of the ice cream bowl and this one, 007. If there was a watch at the bottom of the Sunday I would have liked it. It was cheesecake ice cream, Oreo, cookie, graham, cracker, pie, crust and fudge. Right. So it was pie flavor and it was just, I guarantee in corporate office there was just like 20 pie puns and this is the one that they went with. The other puns included cookie don't, you want some, cookie minster, birthday cake remix, berry, berry, berry, good, all lovin', no oven, which is true.

They're all over the place. And that's how I roll, which is, I guess after a cinnamon roll, because there's some cinnamon in this one, cinnamon, yellow cake, pecans. I'm not gonna defend them, but they're not the worst thing and they're the worst puns out there. Are there worse food related puns on a menu that you guys have experienced on their show? Nothing comes to mind, but I feel like it's not a war crime, like these are bad, but they're not terrible.

No, hate crime. They hate their customers. Why you love me is bad. But even like chilies, it's not like the very scary chocolate volcano, it's just like molten chocolate lava cake. It feels very, they're not playing games with you, whereas I feel like this is a guy trying to be charming and he's failing. Oh, did you guys want to give a shout out to the Beyonce connection as well?

Oh, yes. Matt Koalik went on his date. Fuck, we should have had him call in. Also from Houston. Yes, yes, also from, yeah, he's from Houston, but I mean, it feels like, I mean, I've met you and you don't seem like a liar, so I don't know what Koalik's deal is about with this Beyonce thing. But we mentioned in this last episode that-

We talked about this, yeah. Is he a liar or not for saying he went on a date with Beyonce? I'm going to say tweet at Koalik, say hashtag we want the truth, we're going to figure this out. Right. But for now, Cold Stone, you know what Koalik, maybe you'd be, you know, maybe you would be taking pictures with Beyonce if you took her to a place better than Cold Stone. I'm giving two spoons, baby.

Ooh, that's a low score. Is it fuck my ass bad? I take him to Cold Stone? Two spoons of spoon and top. Right. I enjoyed Cold Stone. I like ice cream. Are you mad at us?

Ice cream is my favorite food. I'm not mad at you guys. I'm just saying I had a good time. Ice cream's not that good. Ice cream's not that good. Virgin experiences. I had a great time. I had a good time.

I had my heroes. My podcast heroes had a Cold Stone in downtown Burbank. I like the smooth texture of the ice cream. I like the Cold Stone gimmick. It's a gimmick, but I think it's a gimmick that works. And I think if you like mix-ins, it's nice that they get them good and mixed in with, it's an interesting experience that you can't really get anywhere else, that you get that smooth kind of solidity of an ice cream,

but you get the mix-ins that you might get if you're using a blender to make a milkshake. Do you feel like it's a gimmick? Because I feel like it's very fun. I've never seen the Cold Stone or the Marvel Slab as a gimmick. I thought it was very functional. Yeah, I think it's a hook, rather. I guess so. I guess I've just never been like,

oh shit, I gotta see what they do on this Cold Stone. How are they gonna mix it in? Are they gonna sing while they're doing it? Probably not. I think it does distinguish their ice cream offerings from a place like Baskin Robbins in the same way that Yogurtland distinguishes their yogurt from other places by being self-serve and having this gigantic array of options, of topping options. So I think it is kind of their signature.

Call it a hook, call it a gimmick, call it whatever you want to call it, but it's something that's unique to their chain or semi-unique to their chain. And I think it's effective and I think it works. And I enjoyed my meal there. And I think that, you know, like, look, it's not perfect, but as a chain ice cream place goes, it's very effective. And it gets a job done and ice cream is great, it doesn't like ice cream. I do feel like ice cream in a large sense is like pizza.

Yeah, it's fantastic. It's kind of hard to screw it up. I got some news for Cold Stone. You can get the fucking ice cream with the mixings topped in, like, sorry, with the mixings blended in, mixed in already. You don't need to do it on the Cold Stone slab. But going to a parlor is a different experience. But the ice cream isn't that good.

I like ice cream, too. You are allowed to have your spoon ranking, but I got a different song for Cold Stone Creamery. The boys are back in town. All right. What? Who are the boys? Also, wait, I've got one that's better.

They're taking care of business, because I think you guys are taking care of business there at the Cold Stone Creamery. Four spoons from Nick Weiger. Four spoons? That was Cold Stone Creamery. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back with more Dough Boys. Welcome back to Dough Boys.

It's time for a regular segment. We've got a food stuff, and we're going to decide if it's worth putting in your mouth. It's snack or whack. So for today's, Kevin, how do you feel about Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in the abstract? In the abstract, I always think about it in comparison to Reese's Pieces, or Reese's Pieces, depending on your mileage. It's a regional thing. I've heard it both ways, like equally.

You would think there's a consensus, but not as much, but I enjoy Reese's Pieces better because it's chocolate. Oh, interesting. Interesting. I'm not a huge chocolate guy when it comes to candy bars, so I'm not a huge candy bar guy. Yes. In general.

So Reese's gives you that small dosage that you're happy with. Yeah, because everyone thinks, oh, there's chocolate in this, but no, there's no chocolate in Reese's Pieces. It's just the peanut butter and the sugar. Right. So it's perfect for me. Well, what we've got as our snack is we've got Reese's stuffed with pieces. It's a mashup of Reese's two flagship properties.

Now my wife, Natalie, tracked these down, and she brought them. She was like, I think this would be good for the podcast, and she was right. And so I brought them to the studio, but I left them in my car at work all day, and they melted. But then Noah, who works here at Ferrell, went out and went to a random CVS and picked us up some replacement ones. Thank you, Noah. So we credit both of them.

Yeah, thanks, Noah. We credit Natalie with a concept. We credit Noah with saving me, and I fucked up. And a big fuck you to Wiger. Yeah. But let's go ahead and dig into these. So these are Reese's peanut butter cups stuffed with pieces. They look pretty much like Reese's peanut butter cups from the outside.

From the outside. Indetectable. By the way, I mean, it's crazy that Noah Wiley's working here now. Yeah. I guess ER was a long time ago. Right. Dr. Wiley. That sucks.

He's got a good attitude. Yeah. Very industrious. All right. Let's dig into these. I'm gonna take a bite. Mmm. Okay.

All right. Mmm. It's kind of a hunt to get the Reese's pieces. I'm surprised by how little of the pieces texture there is. I was expecting to be like, oh, I'm gonna get some big crunches in here. It's very subtle. More subtle than like a crackle bar or a Mr. Good bar. There's just like, or a, what's that, is there a bar just called a crunch?

That's a bar, right? There's a crunch bar, yeah. It's like I expected more of that sort of texture and we're not really getting it. It's funny because like, it's almost like a Reese's, it's almost like a Reese's peanut butter cup crunch. And I know that you're saying that you're missing the crunch, but to me, that is just the big, that's the big difference is that you get a little bit of, you get, like every so often you get a crunch.

Right. You get a little bit of crunch, but every so often, I think that's the key operator. Mm-hmm. Well, if I didn't see the wrapper and it said stuffed with Reese's pieces, I would think it was a mistake. Right. Yeah. Biting it into, I wouldn't be like, oh, this was very carefully constructed for my, for

my eating pleasure. It'd be like, oh, I think something weird got in the machine. Yeah. I'm not quite sure. It looks orange. Yeah. It's some sweet-ass bugs. It certainly doesn't deliver on, oh, this is like, this is Reese's stuffed with pieces,

like this is what I'm looking for. This is the merging of these two things. It really doesn't deliver on that and the Flintstones meet the Jetsons, Jetsons kind of way. Flintstones meet the Jetsons. Who are the Jetsons? I was trying to say Jetsons, it was a flub. Let's not linger on me saying Jetsons.

You can make fun of me all the time for having flubs. Well, I'm flub-boy. Have you guys thought about doing couples therapy? Was that? Have you guys thought about doing couples therapy? Because I've tried to get Demi to go with me and he will not know. He refuses to. We should do couples therapy.

I would be interested to see what a licensed therapist would say about our dynamic. That would probably say it was healthy. This could be a mini-episode, like in-between-chained and in-between-snacker-wack and all that stuff. Right, I'm afraid a bunch will open up. I don't want to hear, I don't want to be broken down. No, I wanted to get so authentic and so real. It makes both of you and the listeners so uncomfortable with what they're hearing and

what we all have to confront about what the Doughboys have become. Here's my prediction. Yeah. We'd sit down with a psychiatrist and they'd be like, you know, look, you guys clearly have some issues in terms of communicating with each other, in terms of having, you know, maybe being a little defensive, but the bigger issue is I'm a doctor. Yeah. You're in love with each other.

And please kiss. And as a doctor, you're poisoning your body. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I need a doctor to say this is bad. Right. Here's what I have to say about this. I actually like that it's not too stuffed with Reese's Pieces.

I am a guy who, I'm the opposite of you, I like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups is one of my favorite candies. Reese's Pieces, I like, I don't love them though, I actually even prefer peanut butter M&Ms over Reese's Pieces. So do you hate E.T.? I was going to say. Hey. Fuck you, E.T.

He's a Reese's Pieces of shit. I love, I love E.T., but that's his favorite candy. Get the fuck out of here. Go back to E.T. World. It wasn't that a rights issue. They wanted M&Ms. Yeah.

M&M said no. They said no and they missed out. M&M's fucked up really bad. It blew up Reese's Pieces and made Reese's Pieces into a legit brand. Yeah. Yeah. But you know what? Hey, that's some branded content we were talking about earlier.

Hey. That was a little integration. Yeah. That was the 80s. If you can do it in one of the greatest movies of all time, then The Doe Boys can live to find another day. Exactly. And he did it well.

You got to hand it to Spielberg. Can I point something real quick on E.T.? You know Rob, the robotic operating buddy from the Nintendo Entertainment System? That's right, yes. He looks like E.T.'s Skeleton. He does look like E.T. Skeleton. Oh shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I only know him from Smash Bros. Right. I feel you. Yeah. Oh, that's funny. That's cool. Yeah. Wally mixed with E.T.

Right. I'm going to say, I still kind of liked it. I'm going to go, I will go regular Reese's Peanut Butter Cups always over those. Yeah. But it was a nice little crunch. I would eat another one. Snack for me. Yeah.

Snack for me. I mean, they are good because Reese's Peanut Butter Cups are good. I don't think the pieces add much. Yeah. But they're good. What do you think, Kevin? I'll say snack as well. But yeah, it was negligible to have the pieces in there.

Yeah. We'll take them for a test drive. If you're a fan of both properties, you'll probably get a kick out of this. That was so sad to bring up E.T. skeleton. I mean, he's not immortal. He has to be dead by now, right, guys? It's been a long time. Well, we don't know how long they live.

That's true. No, it's like every dog you see in a movie before about 2007 is probably dead. Same with E.T. Same with E.T. Yeah. Any alien you see in a movie before 2000 is dead. That's so sad. The worm from Poltergeist 2 is dead, too.

He's long gone. That was Snack or Wack. Just like a restaurant without your feedback. Let's open up with the feedback. Today's email comes to us from Kevin Asher. Kevin writes, What are my favorite things to do is hit the grocery store for breakfast before work across the street.

My preference is to get a breakfast sandwich at their mini-restaurant, but it takes so long to prepare my food there that I often don't have time. More often than not, I end up buying a pre-made lunch or dinner sandwich at the deli counter, so I end up eating a turkey BLT or a chicken Caesar sandwich. When I tell people this, they think I'm insane like I've broken some rule. My question is, why is it weird to eat a turkey sandwich on bread for breakfast, but OK to eat a sausage sandwich on a biscuit? Hmm.

Hmm. Well, Kevin, what do you think? Kevin Asher, Asher is in quotations, it's Kevin Asher Roth, is that who it was from? Why did you, why? Why do that? Well, from one Kevin to another. Yeah, I don't believe, just like the gender binaries become outdated, the sandwich binary has become a little outdated as well.

We need to be more accepting of turkey on this and sausage on that. I don't personally partake in anything that's like not a breakfast food before about 11.30 Me neither. In the afternoon. Yeah. Morning slash afternoon. So I wouldn't do it, but I celebrate his freedom to do so if he chooses, and if that restaurant is keeping him from doing so, maybe a lawsuit.

You know what's funny is a lawsuit. Yeah, no, exactly. Kevin, it seems like a lot of your, if you want someone, if you think someone needs to get a, you want someone to sue someone else. I love the law. I love law and order and I love candidates who love law and order too. If someone's going to get sued, it should be this other Kevin for grossing out everybody. Right.

A turkey, the thing is, is like lettuce and tomato in, like in turkey on a sandwich in the morning to me is too weird and I am a person, I don't, here's the thing, sometimes lunch is my first, a lot of the times lunch is my first meal. I don't, I don't get up any breakfast. I know that's horrible for you. What time do you get up then? I usually get up around 9.30 or 10 when I'm not working. 9.30 or 10.

Yeah, that's probably accurate. You're staring at me. I'd like to wire you for approvals if he knows. I don't know. Because you guys wake up next to each other in that big bed. I mean, I think, I'm embarrassed by it a little bit because that's late, but when I'm not working, 9.30 or 10. That's not unreasonably late if you're not, if you're unemployed.

Yeah, today I woke up around 9.30 and it's that sort of thing of like, I might just wait till lunch or whatever. I'll wait. I'll have water and some small snack or something and then lunch is my first meal. I know it's unhealthy, so you don't have to tweet at me and tell me it's unhealthy. I'm trying to change it, but I won't wake up and be like, ugh, I need a turkey sandwich. That to me, it's kind of gross to me. It's almost like a pregnancy serving.

It's like, I want pickles on my ice cream. It seems unnatural in that sense. It's kind of unnatural. Can we take that stand on this podcast? That's a stand that we've already stated multiple times on the podcast. Okay, cool, cool, cool. I'm on brand. Yeah, no, I feel like I wouldn't want to wake up and eat a salad.

There's just a few things that are kind of strange to me that I wouldn't want to do. I mean, I also think of breakfast being kind of like a lighter meal. Yeah, I think this is fucked up, Kevin Asher. I think you should start eating breakfast foods for breakfast because I think society has rules and just abide by them. He shouldn't be shamed. You know who I'm saying? Society has rules, Hitler, and opponents of the civil rights movement in the 1960s.

No, a lot of people will say like, oh, that's Godwin's law, you shouldn't invoke Hitler, but I think this is a fair time to bring that out. This is a time where it's appropriate. We brought up us saying something wrong and then I feel like you've now dug into that and we're going to be scared before this episode gets out. Do you guys get a lot of mean emails? Can I ask that? No, we don't.

We don't really. We've got a couple of messages or people. I mean, like we've gotten a couple like Twitter people tweeting at us or something. And they add you want me to count? Yeah, they'll add us. Yeah. I'd say they've been less mean and more just like critical. Hey, you guys aren't good at this and they're not wrong.

We don't have a retort. No, you guys are great. It's kind of more sad. Yeah. You guys are terrific. And also now Van has given them a direct line to my cell phone. Our buddy Van Robichel who has created this website, Mitch.Pizza, which people can use to email or text you directly.

Yeah, it sucks. And you just get text messages now. I mean, it's nice. I'm flattered. Right. But then also like now there's this phone number that it's all these people who text this phone number and then it texts me. Well, to be fair, that's how I got booked today is like text me, can I please be on your

show? You guys say, I guess, look, I'll just say on Kevin Asher's email real quick, I used to there was a time when I worked in video games, I worked at Activision and we would get in really early. We I was working in the original Call of Duty and we had to get in our call time was six a.m. Because we were working 12 hour days that we're going to ship the game and we had to get in super early to play this game for 12 hours and then look for bugs.

And so we get in early and then get it. Insects are. Yeah. Yes. To look for literal bugs. That's what we were saying. That's part of every job. But so as part of getting in early, we got a breakfast order every day and crazily, this

is a place, a chain we shit on before very heavily like what one of the places we we hate the most. But the chain we would order from for breakfast was Keros, which was in that same business complex. And there was a guy would consistently get a BLT and fries at six a.m. for like a six a.m. order for something that would come at like 645 or seven. And that would be his breakfast that was fucked up and grossed everybody out. Kevin Asher, what you're doing is grossing everyone out justifiably.

Suck it up. Have an egg McMuffin. Have some hash browns. Have something that a normal person would eat because we live in a society and the society has rules for a reason. If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at doboyspod. Guess at gmail.com.

If you want to get scolded by the doboys. Check out our Facebook page, Do Boys. Follow us on Twitter at doboyspod. Just subscribe and rate us on iTunes. You know what? The first lunch in high school was like 10.30. That's too early. Yeah, it's too early.

That's a whole other issue. High school is too early. High school's hours are fucked up. It fucks up all of our heads. You know what? Hotheads in Washington. Why don't you get on rescheduling high school. So their kids are a little bit more well adjusted.

Throw out homework. Yeah. Right on, brother. Kevin T. Porter, thank you so much for joining us for Del Boys. Thank you, Kevin. Yeah, this is a lot of fun. A thrill. Do you have anything you would like to plug at this time?

You can follow me if you want at Kevin T. Porter everywhere. And if you like Gilmore Girls, or if you hate it, listen to Gilmore Guys wherever you can find podcasts. Yeah, check it out for sure. And then watch Gilmore Girls on Netflix and I'm in the background of one episode. It's super distracting and weird. Maybe that one day that will, some sandwich chain will, well, some guys said that they did make a sandwich for us at some point.

Right? They made a pizza, a Spoonman pizza. Yeah, I think we forgot to follow up on it. It was Pop and John. He said, oh, fuck you. That'll do it for this episode of Del Boys. Until next time, for The Spoonman, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weigher. Happy eating.

See ya. Ferrell Audio.