Doughboys - Crock-Dough-Burn-Pho-Est: The Original Soup Kitchen with Stavros Halkias

Episode Date: October 23, 2025

Stavros Halkias (@stavvybaby2, Dreamboat Tour) joins the 'boys to talk Trick or Treating, Afternooners, and New York eats before a review of The Original Soup Kitchen. Plus, another edition of Slop Quiz.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.cracked.com/article_44888_seinfeld-writer-explains-why-the-soup-nazi-episode-was-a-documentary.htmlhttps://collider.com/seinfeld-soup-nazi-episode-explained-spike-feresten/https://janewells.substack.com/p/the-soup-nazi-interview-goes-viralhttps://www.cbsnews.com/news/original-soup-nazi-store-back-in-business/https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/jerry-seinfeld-says-people-say-free-palestine-are-worse-ku-klux-klan-rcna230355https://www.nytimes.com/2025/09/11/us/jerry-seinfeld-palestine-kkk-duke.htmlhttps://faroutmagazine.co.uk/who-real-soup-nazi-seinfeld/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Want to watch this episode? Check it out on our YouTube channel by going to YouTube.com slash doughboys media. No soup for you. This line, delivered by actor Larry Thomas in an episode written by Spike Ferristin, was among the most famous catchphrases from the 90s sitcom Seinfeld. The episode's title character, The Soup Nazi, was inspired by doctrinaire soup purveyor Ali al-Yagenae, who at the time ran the bustling Manhattan hotspot soup kitchen international.

In Ferristin's telling in an interview on the Rich Eisen Show, the plot lines genesis came from his patronage of Yeganese soupery while writing for David Letterman, where he was denied his meal in the same way George Costanza is in the episode. When later hired as a writer for Seinfeld, Ferristin's pitches were batted down by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld himself, until Spike offhandedly mentioned the soup drama, which led to him being instructed to write a draft. Actor Larry Thomas, for his part, didn't make enough money portraying the soup Nazi to quit his day job as a bail bondsman, though he did later clean up at cons and on cameo. While the publicity boosted its business from tourists,

Yegane naturally loathed the portrayal, and his original concept shuddered in 2004. But its spiritual successor reopened in its same Manhattan location in 2010 as part of a broader franchise expansion. As for automotive enthusiast Jerry Seinfeld, he went on to direct and star in the 24 film Unwatchable, sorry, unfrosted, where Ferristin was one of four credited writers. And, adjacent to Nazis, in remarks Seinfeld made at Duke University in September of 2025, he opined that people who say free Palestine are worse than the KKK. This was following booze and walkouts at Seinfeld's Duke commencement speech over his unwavering support of Israel's brutal war in Gaza. In Ferristin's telling, when he took Jerry Seinfeld to Soup Kitchen International shortly after the episode aired back in the 90s,

Yeganet told him, quote, get the fuck out of here. Words that still ring true today. This week on Doe Boys, we say, yes, soup for us. As we continue, crock dough burn for S. 2025, a supersized month of bisques, broths, stews and stocks, and crocs, with New York City's, the original soup man. Come on. Mike, which is this camera? That's your single, yep. You and Mitch are on that.

Yeah, yeah. Wait, which one? Which camera? That one, okay. This is me and Mitch. Welcome to doughboys. Welcome to Doe Boys. Welcome to Doe Boys, the podcast about chain restaurants.

I'm Tiger Wager along with my co-host. One half of Biscoll and Split Peabert. the spoon man Mike Mitchell Jesus Christ These can be used individually or in tandem as our guest gives a big thumbs down These can be used individually

or in tandem for Soup Month because Bisk is a type of soup and split pea soup as a type of soup too Additionally, no offense but since the name of the soup month is a little dry and straightforward I wanted to pitch adding a colon in the tagline Ladle to the grave after it

figured it was appropriate after Mr. T's bleak intro to the Betsy episode Mahalo Steve Mason from Colorado how about that? Steve, that was. A lot of explanation for your fucking shitty joke. Yeah. I don't mind ladle to the grave.

Ladle to the grave is not bad, I guess. But also it doesn't fit with the Spielberg and, I mean, Spielberg. Siskel and Ebert. Well, no, but that's a different thing. That's like a tag to Crocdo burn Fass 2025, which continues here, supersized month of Bisk, broth, stews, and stocks, and crocs. So that's what it's a tag to. So I understand in that context.

He thinks we need to add more to that. Wise, Eagle Eye viewers will notice if you're watching the YouTube feed that our setup is a little different today. That's right. We're in New York City. We are here at a, and shout out to our guest and shout out to Eldis for hosting us here in the Stabby's Royal Studios. Very, very exciting that they've were about accommodated us as we're in the city that ever sleeps. And we are having, because we're reviewing a New York-centric supery. Yes, that's right, Wise.

Speaking of never sleeping, I didn't get much sleep last night. Oh, I'm sorry, buddy. Someone was getting railed in the room next to me. Wait, really? Yes, for real, yes. And for so long. For a while. It made me be like, fuck, this is like so, this is longer than anything I've, like, ever.

Yeah, you're annoyed and you're questioning your manhood. But I very much heard all night long, like, yeah, someone, God bless whoever, whatever was going on. Some one, some lady was enjoying. herself. Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you assume another individual was involved because of the... Whoever the other individual was super quiet. They weren't saying anything. It was just, I just heard the lady over, like, for like, like, it was a good, like, 40 minutes. I mean, we only get too explicit, but it could be someone self-pleasure.

She had been stroking her own shit. That maybe was what it, maybe it was, it was, it was. Just spreading the cream cheese, as it were. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Hell yeah, they'd call me Lenders bagels. smear me up I couldn't hear anyone else and I did have my ear to the wall jacking off you finish the fucking

you know the refractory period passes you jack off again and finish Jesus Christ my refractory period as you know is like like 72 hours Yeah, but yeah, yeah. Hey, I can say it now, the Arlo Hotel. There was a sixth floor of the Arlo hotel. It's kind of a part. It's too cool of a hotel. You can reach a certain age. You can't stay in like a hip hotel anymore. Yeah. Young people hang out there and it's just like, I need to get some

fucking sleep. Did you notice there's a sound machine that's automatically on, you cannot turn off? In the Arlo? Yeah, it's like, my art room has like a little round sound machine and it's plugged in where you can't get to the plugs. You cannot unplug it. It doesn't turn off. It's just on Was mine getting interference and that's what I was hearing last night? Because I was broadcasting. Yeah, I don't, I had no idea. I think it's because of that. So you don't hear what's happening in the next room.

Oh, that's wild. I didn't even notice there was a sound machine. It was like on the desk. Bad sign when there's a sound machine in your hotel. Right, right. You're like, you're not getting quiet. No. Like that's, we're starting there.

There will not be peace and quiet here. Maybe this bullshit will help you. Well, it also has a thing that I think, I mean, I feel bad for any, Mike is here with us as well, and any couple that is there, the bathroom is, the toilet is

next to your bed. It's pretty much in the room, yeah. They're basically slats on the bathroom door. It's an absolute audio nightmare. It's very much like a zoo scenario where you're just seeing a person shit in like a little glass cage. Everyone in this hotel is shitting in the lobby. 100%, yes. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah. Well, and also, I'm not sure of you, like, do you have the mirror right outside of your bathroom door? Yes, yeah. It's always great to get a glimpse of my small dick on the way out. Yeah, exactly, yeah. I was going to say my big ass on the toilet. I was looking at. A lot of fun.

So we're recording here, it's obviously in World Studios. Pointedly not recording it a headgum, New York, which no longer exists. Kind of a bummer. A huge bummer. And as part of that, I mean, that happened a little bit, a little while ago in the recent past. And then this, in the more recent past, we talked about this on a patron episode. Yeah. I was going to say, there was a.

warning side when it was the biggest studio I'd ever seen that no one was using. Yeah, for sure. I mean, it felt like they could have probably tried to find a smaller studio. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, HeadGum has also done some, I guess, with the corporate language is restructuring.

But really, they've just fired a bunch of people, including, you know, Emma Foley, who's here in New York, who helped us a lot when we were at court out here. Of course, our good friend Marika Brownlee, who we've been able spend some time seeing out here as instrumental to the early days of HeadGum. And someone who is like, you know, a big part of bringing us to the network and welcoming us to the network.

And then I think probably most notably for our Dope Boys listeners and audience in general is like Casey Donahue got laid off. And Casey's such a, you know, was again, just such an integral part of our podcast, making it a video podcast. We just, we don't have any sort of comprehension of what happened. We're just living in the aftermath. But it's a huge fucking bummer. And you know, he's a great talented people who no longer have jobs. And on tell, yeah, it sucks. It's truly sucks.

And a bunch more people that I didn't list who were not as involved in the day-to-day of Go-Boys. 100%. And also, this is also fucked up. Headgum sent Wayne Brady to Riyadh. And so we thought that was like also really fucked up. It was like a thing in his contract. He could get out of it.

He had to go to Rio. Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it is true. It is, it is a, yeah, it's a bummer. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, to start the podcast on a enough note. Yeah.

I mean, I feel like we have to say something. No, we do. No, I appreciate you saying it. You should. Yeah, no. I mean, I should too. It sucks. I heard a head gun was getting bought by Paramount and CBS and Barry Weiss is actually

going to be the boss now. Oh, that's nice. So you guys have to kind of start being more Zionist. That's sort of like, you know, that's, I heard, that's what I actually got an email when it just got in my Google calendar. They saw I was doing doughboys and they're like, here's some approved talking points. Yes, yeah. You know what I mean?

So I'm ready. I'm ready to say how good the mothball soup at this place was or whatever. We love some of our sponsors. Yeah, for sure. Goodals are fantastic. Well, those are gone now.

I actually did have guddles legit for, I didn't even know, I forgot that that, because isn't, what's your face? Gal Gaddao. Gal Gaddao. Yeah, yeah. Which we didn't, we didn't know that. We didn't know.

We didn't know. We didn't know. Yeah, right. Whatever. Yeah, right. We knew. You and you courted them. She's hot.

It's like, maybe I can fuck out. If a person's really hot, I need bad stuff they do goes away wise. You know this. That's true. Yeah. Until they get ugly. And then you send them to jail. What's going to happen to Weinstein?

He was so hot. Yeah, he was so. Why, he was fucking super attractive back of the day. Yeah, then he started huge blackheads on his back. It was a really quick transformation. I think he fell in like the toxic adventure goo. Mitch, we have a wonderful guest

and we have more bullshit to do up top, which includes you playing your drop. Emma hit him with the drop. Last night, you know what the reason was? Bonanza. Hangin with my old buddy dog Last night you know what the reason was Hang him with my old buddy done

Hang on my old buddy done Oh, not Not nice you're going to body Not bad Not bad Not bad Just like a lot Oh

Dunk Kong sounds like sand A little Sounds like sandler a little bit Donkong sounds like sandler a little bit Not bad Not bad A bat Dunk Kong sounds like sandler a little bit

Don't you think wow great to hear a half a laugh they left in there you kind of politely bombing I guess who like doesn't I don't know who the guest was but like don't know the reference speaking up yeah anyways yeah good to hear myself bomb over and over again yeah I mean like look our guest one of the funniest people on earth and you know it's uh we already feel like a nightmare of unfunny just being next to him but then also going through the beats of our fucking episode

all hitting all the points of our the template of a you know Donkey Kong sounds like Adam Sandler Yeah exactly Yeah cool By the way what does that even mean It was it was mostly Just for him

And you do know what I'm talking about I do know what you're talking about Oh you mean Donkey Kong when he talks sounds like I'm saying He does sound like Sandler a little bit In Donkey Kong Bonanza The new vocalization That's kind of like the new guy they cast.

The new guy sounds a little bit like San. A little bit like Sam, man. But yeah, it is two 40 plus year old men playing the new Donkey Kong. Right, right, right, right. Platformer. Hey, crew, had to share this drop I made today in response to the boys sharing their love for Donkey Kong, especially Tiger Wiger's impression. Much love, Buckles from Boston. Wow, thanks, buckles, drops at birdfuck.com.

All right. Our guest, kind enough to host us, kind enough to give us so much of his time. From Savvy's world, the new film, Bugganio, Stavros, Alkias is here. Hi, Stavis. Hey, guys. How are we doing? Doing great. Thanks so much

you're having us. Bologna's out now, right? It's, but yeah, when this comes out of, it's in New York, the week of October 20th, New York and L.A. October 23rd and everywhere else on Halloween, so. There you go.

Yeah. There was a picture of you at Cannes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Venice. Oh, Venice. Yeah, yeah. Venice Film Festival, sorry. Yep. And get it right.

I'm a fucking guy that goes to Venice now, Mitch. You got to talk to me a certain way. You look great. You know, you looked great in the photo. You were in a tux and you had your hair slip back, almost like a Venice guy. The ponytail slick back. The ponytail looks fucking great. And you had Emma, Emma Stone in one arm and Alicia Silverstone.

It was insane. Yeah, it rules. It was fucking awesome. Yeah. It does feel like I really, it's kind of getting to the point where my life feels like an elaborate dinner for schmuck scenario. And they're just going to pull the rug out from under me. Like, I had no business there on a fucking red carpet with fucking, in a movie with, in a movie with two of the best actors,

Alicia Silverstone, a legend. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. They were nice to me. They weren't like fucking, you know, they should have,

they should have workplace harassed me for being there, but they were just polite, you know? But it was crazy. It was fucking awesome. And the movie's really good. Go see it.

Yeah. I met her once at a wedding, Alicia Silverstone. And then also Lucy Lawless, who I immediately had a huge crush on. I mean, I mean, look,

I had a crush on her beforehand, but I showed her how to use Uber Wags. Wow. And then she quickly ubered away from me. She's like, why? She was like, Palmsditt. What was your address? What was your address?

Palmerston. Why is this going to Palmerston? Is this a part of the app? Is this like the dispatch center? You're like, no, no, just go. Don't worry about it. That's how you use it. Oh, the jump you up here?

Weird. Oh. You're following fast in your car. You're driving fast as shit behind the Uber. And she's like, I'm going home, like, oh, yeah, see you later. That's the end of the story. Too timid to attempt a kidnapping on Lucy Lawless.

We're here in October. You mentioned Halloween. Are you like, were you a Halloween guy? Are you still a Halloween guy? Oh, good question. Ooh, you know, just a regular amount. I mean, as a fat child, you know, the candy was a big draw. Sure.

I don't think I'm a particularly spook. I keep every year, I'm like, this is. the year, I'm gonna fucking have a Halloween-ass month. You know what I mean? I'm gonna watch some fucking scary movies. I'm gonna like, you know, it is fun. I liked, like, you know,

sort of it, before I moved to New York, kind of like my mid-20s, like, there was like one year where I didn't, you know, I didn't go out to party, I didn't whatever, and I just kind of like, trick-or-treat, like, when trick-or-trues came through, I gave him the, like, the awesome candy, the candy you wish, you know, the king-sized bars. I did that one year.

And it was like the most gratifying thing, you know, because I was like giving back to other fat children, you know? I remember when getting a big candy bar, literally, like, I still think, I have, I still think about that. Oh, huge. Yes. You know what I mean? Just a couple how.

I still think about some, some old lady that gave me fucking quarters one time and I wanted to fuck her. Like, I was pissed. I wanted to, like, fuck her up. No, no, no. I wanted to like, I was like, I literally wanted to get violent with this old woman because she gave us, like, fruit and, like, nickels. And it was like, what the fuck is this is the depression?

I remember getting pennies from that like that was another thing like just places it's got these old people giving out coins but I like the version of it where this was a sexual awakening for you

yeah exactly she pissed me off I'm like why is this making my dick hard why is an old woman being mean to me getting me this stiff

in my Hercules costume hook it up with a girl in your 20s asking her put on a gray wig giving them a roll of nickels. That's kind of fun. Put this roll of nickels up my ass. Bite my nuts with his dentures and put these nickels up my ass.

I think like the best night, the best night and nothing happened, of course, in college, like I put, I was a baby. I dressed up as a baby, which also probably didn't help me. But I dropped up, I dressed up in a onesie, like a baby onesy. It was very comfortable. Yeah. I was like, it looks like I have no dick. So I put like a,

I put a saw, a tube sock in my underwear. So your dick was too small to accurately portray a baby. You're like, oh, this is believable. Babies don't have this this small.

I got a stuff. God, I really don't have enough pubs to sell baby. I put the socks in there and then it was the funny thing. where, like, girls were like, hey. I was like, this is, I don't have the confidence to carry this, but it was like the only attention I ever got in college and then sucked.

It was like, yeah, it was very, very, also similarly to last night where I was like, oh, the human beings do this. I've never done this in my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, they were, they were, there was a girl into it. And I met her and we hung out a little bit. Hey, there you go. Okay.

I guess I am remembering one, one cool Halloween party where I dressed up as, uh, I think I was the Pillsbury Doughboy was a go-to. That's good. Not just as a youth, but also, like, in college. And that was the one time I went to, shout out to Fish Head Cantina in Arbutus, Maryland, one of the trashiest bars you've ever seen in your life. I went to the Halloween night and I, you know, I, I,

do you pay yourself white? Face white. Yeah. Face white. Coveralls, chef's hat. Yeah. And yeah, I got, I think I could have. I was dancing with this girl all night.

I was like, nice. I'm going to get pussy in college finally And then I just had too much jungle juice And threw up all over myself Classics of I We also did a thing called pink drink Which was just the lowest grade vodka possible And crystal light straight up

Oh wow And like pink lemonade crystal light That was sort of my that was my contribution To my college's Halloween culture I'm glad that this story is you're painting your face white by the way Yeah that's a huge plus yeah thank god the pillsbury dove boy they took him out of the oven early it would have been a real problem otherwise you'd have to go into politics

and stuff uh why were you a big i i i wonder with you because you seem to not get joy like other people do no i mean like look i as a as a chubby little boy i did absolutely love Halloween candy. I loved hoarding candy. Always more of a chocolate kid than like a starburst or smarty kid. But you know, me too, me too. Anything that I could get my hands on, I was, I was just happy to hoard it. I never actually encountered the place.

For me, it was, it was always a rumor that there was like, oh, you go by the country club, by the golf course. There's like everyone's giving out king-sized candy bars and then I never actually saw it materialized. I never got handed like a full-sized Snickers. Right. Oh, man. But I love getting like all those little, and I know

Hershey's like sucks, but I love getting those little tiny like Mr. Good bars Sure The mini stickers are great The mini stickers are awesome The like the little squares Yeah they're squares and then A little longer again

Fun size Yeah yeah Fun size It also it made you It made you appreciate a candy You'd never come across You never normally come across I feel like

Because you would get those Like fucked up white tutsie rolls You remember those Oh yeah Those are fucking awesome I would never buy those I would never ask for those Or like the root beer barrel

Hard candies Or just like it would just make you Be like you know what Let's get open up our horizons here, candy-wise. For me, it really strengthened my relationship with coconut. Because, like, almond joys and mounds, I was like, I never would

normally be into this, but I started having those in Halloween. Yeah, it was a little dipping into it a little bit. You reminded me of loose can... I hate a places that just had loose candy that would go in your... Like, just, like, not in a rapper. Did you get that at all? That's insane. I would get that occasionally. You never got that? That's... That's literally, they were trying to drug you

and, like, fucking put you in a basement. You know what? There's no... Loose, like, loose hard candy? Yeah, yeah, you guys didn't get that ever. I mean, they would say to not eat it, obviously, but like, like, you know. The guys are, you're going to have that, right? Why, why wait? Come on inside.

I grab that. I have more in here. Damn, loose candy's nuts. And I'm not a, like, just back down. I mean, I'm not, I'm not a costume guy these days, but when I was a kid, I liked dressing up. I won back-to-back Cub Scout costume contest. What were you? I was Freddie one year.

Nice. And the next year, I was like, an original character. Little look at your own You made up my own like kind of leather face adjacent Like guy But like a bag over his head I like like a like a like a like a burlap sack Partly cover my head

I have a feeling this character is going to come back someday The The other Cubs guys are like You win Yeah good guy That's a great costume Nick Party's over everyone Oh it's Halloween

I also had, I think a big part of it was like I had like some plastic bugs and I was just like chewing them in my mouth so it looked like I was like a weird like bug eater That's fucking awesome Yeah, you were fucking freak Yeah, that role How old were you?

I was like, eight Yeah Eight is awesome Yeah, it's awesome to come up with you Were you a horror movie kid? Yeah, I was I mean like but like I think Mitch is more of a horror guy

but I did watch a lot of movies but I was so afraid of horror stuff back then I was super afraid of horror stuff like Chuckie scared the shit out of me this is all like also you get this of like when I was when I was like seven years old Chuckie was on pay per view and you'd see like the first 10 minutes

of it on paper view and it's scared the shit out of me and Freddie scared the shit out of me which now you watch them and they are like jokes. Yeah they're campy especially the first Chuckie's pretty funny yeah the first talk is great I love Chuck you now yeah

and also we talked about this before but the same creator who's done like all the except for the reboot has done all the movies. He's Don, what's his name? I forget, Coscarelli maybe. That's right. But Freddie scared the shit out of me. Were you not afraid of them when you were? I mean, I was, but then

I think you're scared for a little bit, but then it's also like, the other thing, the other element of these, especially if you're watching them as like, you know, young teenager is like there's oftentimes sex and nudity in these movies. Yeah, yeah. So it's like, oh, there's a context story. I can see something kind of like bloody, but I can also see some kind of horny.

Yeah. So that also scared me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even that stuff scared me. I was a serial killer. I had a little boxes of cereal and then forks, plastic fork stuck in them. You couldn't do, you couldn't bring knives to school, obviously. But, but, uh, the pathetic, it was always sad when you'd have a kid and it was just so clear

his family didn't love him when it was like, he's like, I'm a soccer player. And he's just wearing his uniform from soccer. Yeah, sure. And it was like, damn, your mom. fucking hates you, dude. Your mom does not give a fuck at all. She can't go to party city. She can't even like make your little costume for you real quick.

It was like, yeah. You could get a mask for 99 cents, I believe. I did do that one year. I wore my karate ghee. And then I also, I was a white belt, so I borrowed my brother's like higher belt. Oh, that's where it is. That's your version of stuffing the crotch. Yeah, my alpha brother's brown belt.

And he didn't have to stuff the cross. Hell yeah You were It's the opposite Where his parents are like Nick please dress up Yeah He's just sitting in his room

Lights off Staring at a wall I'm like It's Halloween Nick Don't you want to get candy No I'm five We should talk since we are here in New York

We should talk to them Yeah I just want one last Halloween stories. One time my teacher wore a ghost face mask and I fucked her. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, that's cool. You and a few other classmates. Yeah, me and a few other classmates. That's awesome.

That was the last story. That's supposed to change your memory for you. That lady's awesome. For real, like, that's so sick. To, like, throw a costume in your molesting of children. Like, let's do a fun one. Let's do a fun.

And to, like, on it, get a train man on you and you're the rapist. It's actually impressive to figure To do that math where it's like a train gets run on you in a costume and you're still the molester? I mean, that's a great innovation in sexual predator. That woman's breaking the glass ceiling of being a sexual predator. Cheers to that lady. I think we could say doughboys and headgums both say, cheers to that child molester.

how everyone gets rehired. Yeah, we did it. Okay. Oh, shit. Even the lady, too. Wow. She'd help off his morale, probably. What are you going for?

That's all of you're your ghost face. I want to mention so Eldis is here helping us out as well. Thank you, Aldous. Eldis, you introduced me to a new beverage today, which was, which is the afternooner. No, I'd never had this before. Describe the afternooner for everyone. It's called the afternooner based on a random coffee shop that I walked into a couple weeks ago. That's what they called it.

But it's a mix of OJ, cold brew, and tonic. In roughly equal ratios. I think it's like one part tonic, one part orange juice, and two parts cold brew. Got it, yeah. Oh, this is thrilled to be able to pump this to like this drink that he'll forget about in two weeks. He had it yesterday and he's like, I really like this. Probably we'll get sick of it, but I'm obsessed with it. I have, like, a 12 pack of tonics, like, in my fridge at home right now.

Like, I've been pranking these out. Basically, I, you know, I arrived here first, and it was just you and I, and, like, basically the first thing you did was offer me this drink. I tried offering stop one yesterday, too. He wasn't that interested. It sounds like dog shit. I will say... It looks like dog shit.

It really does. It's a pretty putrid-looking concoction, but it was really yummy. And I think, like, the sweetness of the citrus is just like a, like, a surprising counterbalance for the cold brew, I would not have thought these elements would work together. But, you were saying it was like, it's like an orange chocolate kind of. Yeah, it's like a jaffa cake or some bullshit that British people love, which I will say sucks, by the way. I don't like the mix.

That thing sucks, but, you know, at least it's something. It exists in the world. And I am, I am with getting coffee with bubbles, though. Like, I like that. Oh, yeah. That's fun. You know, like doing a, doing a seltzer, doing a little flavored seltzer, or if you really want to just be trash, diet Coke

and a fucking, and some coffee. Oh, yeah. In Greece, they had that together. They had like a coffee Coke when I went last year and I was fucking addicted to those. I remember the Coke with coffee that was canned, but I... Oh, you had them here too? I just encountered them in Europe. Yeah, they had them here for a little...

They were canned. I mean, I'm sure they weren't as like an actual, yeah, coke and coffee I never thought of it as like making it as a drink. Yeah, I mean, like, I did like... That's another thing. A little bit of effervescence in the afternoon it was quite nice. Red wine and a Coke. other thing we've heard of this yeah oh that's like an old lady special yeah yeah yeah that's like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's like yeah yeah yeah yeah that's like a

that's like all my mom's friends would drink that at like a greek restaurant either that or the i think it is european right like it like yeah i mean i i i literally know that is old a thing old greek ladies would drink yeah that and the flip side of it is sprite with white ziffindale oh so they have like a dark and a lot they kind of like pay the sodas with the with the wines i love that yeah that's by the way we were gonna just like last night with me in the hotel we were gonna put our ears up to the door and listen to what you and eliz were talking about yeah you're saying it'll be dead silence in there little did i know eldest was pumping the afternoon or two i should have known better

well you find him at just the right time he loves this drink it's gonna be there will be a redid a doughboys redid thread with 12 comments on it trying the afternoon or so The payoff will be worth it. Yeah, yeah. You liked it, right? I thought it was quite yummy, yeah. Are you going to get it in the rotation? Because you are a coffee guy.

I'm a coffee guy. I'm not sure if I, like, a cold brew I usually don't do. Too powerful? It makes me a little too buzzy, but like I, like, I could see myself. If he drinks a cold brew, he dresses up as his Halloween character. The bug man or the fucking one. I don't know. How often do you, like, is this like a morning drink for you?

How often are you having it? This has been a two-week thing for me. And it's been pretty much daily, but. Yeah, I might have it in the morning, but, you know, I like the name of the Afternooner. So I'll try to work. You're trying to work on you, you fucking idiot. You saw something written on a chalkboard at a coffee shop. You're like, this is going to be part of my personality now.

I'd like to wait until at least 1 p.m. usually. But sometimes I can't wait that long. Because it's called the Afternooner. You fucking idiot. You drink it in the afternoon. Are you serious? You won't have it at the morning? Mainly in the afternoon.

I had it in the morning once or twice. One last thing I'll say about it, it's a nice thing. It looks like shit right now, but if you pour it over ice and pour the oranges down the back of a spoon, you get a little gradation effect where it's like the brown color blue on top

and it's like, you know, gets lighter going down. So just something to think about. Okay. Everyone try this drink. Why? Why are you plugging the afternoon? No, because it looks like a pint glass of diarrhea,

but like it was yeah like in theory like a tequila sunrise i love a drink that has a gradation to it i like uh like uh you know sometimes places will have uh different like cold brew plus a um latte on tap yeah yeah and they'll do like the black and tan version of coffee i like that a lot too that's a lot of fun you know i love snake bites cider and guinness basically that's one of my favorite drinks but you're it's you're like a pain in the ass to order oh yeah especially as a grown man Hey, can you cut my beer with a little cider? I'm 44 years old, by the way. This is tasty, but I like it a little sweet.

Like an old Irish man. He was like, oh, fuck. We should, I do want to talk about New York specifics because, like, we're here. Do you have, like, any... I know we touched on some of this when you're in studio in L.A., but, like, like, where are you with pizza? Do you have any regular slice shops you like to go to or what you're looking for in a slice?

Sure, yeah. I mean, pizza definitely, I mean, look, I'm trying to be a good boy. I'm trying to not get fattish, not continue to be fattish. You're doing well. Thank you, I'm trying. So I haven't, I haven't like, because I'm pretty,

I moved into Manhattan. I was in Queens for years. And there's some great slices over there that, like, I really like this place, Rizzo's in Astoria. Okay. That has their own kind of like crust. It's a little, it's not as, like, you know, the classic New York slice is, you know, kind of thin, crispy.

And I love that, right? That's great. That's good shit. And also just the classics here, you know, this was not exactly like that. It's a little softer. I like that. Eldis, you don't love Rizzo's that much, right? That's not your...

I do like Rizzo. Oh, you do, okay. But, you know, because it's not like the classic New York slice. And then in Queens, my... I loved this, like, kind of trash... Because I also love kind of trashy pizza. We kind of talked about it a little bit. where it's like, you know, Greek carryouts have a specific kind of pizza

that's like, it's not artisanal, it's not good, but it just, like, it just hits so nicely in this place, um, uh, a retro pizza in Astoria in Queens just does a dynamite right down the middle, not great, not bad, always just hits the spot slice. Yeah, right. The sauce is a little too sugary because it's like, you know, like bought, it's like Cisco probably and it has like high fructose corn syrup. in it probably. But I love some of that. And then, you know, the class, you can't, you really

truly cannot go wrong in this city. Like, I've been go, I've just been stopping by and getting a single slice of cheese at every pizzeria in Manhattan that I like, whenever I'm kind of hungry and I'm like, I worked out, you know, I can sort of spare the calories today. I like to just try them out. So I love the New York, New York slice. I love, you know, a variety of, uh, I want to have this encyclopedic knowledge so that next time I'll have an annotated list for you. But I think you can't truly it's like you

can't go wrong. But I do I will say my favorite like day to day I like the New York slice but I really do love the just a thick or sort of like a Sicilian, a Detroit style like just something with a little bite to a little where it feels almost like faccatia

where you feel the oil in the in the like slice. But that's also like you eat one of those and you're fucked, you know, you're fucked for the day or whatever. But yeah, it's great. And it's like, that's the thing about New York is like, you just have the best of every food here. I mean, sushi's incredible.

We, we, the first day I moved in here, me and a couple friends, we were, we were just walking around and we just stumbled onto a Michelin Star Thai restaurant. It was fucking incredible. Wow. You know, the Chinatown here is incredible. I mean, it's, I know it's, uh, whatever the

fuck soup month. How it, crock dough, whatever the fuck does. Burn for ass, 2025. No, burn for ass. Super-sized month of Bisk's, broths, dues, and stocks. And you know what? I will say that,

so the roast was one of the worst ones I've ever heard in my life. I mean, bar none, it's horrible, wordy too much,

barely makes sense. It's also kind of a roast on you because you, if he's Siskel or Ebert, you're the other one. I guess I'd be probably Biscal in this calculation, right?

Yeah, I don't know. And I would have gone by Biss Quickwell. You know what I mean? That's kind of, that's a little fatter than Biss. Yeah. Anyway.

But I will, I hate, and I, and I didn't like his old attitude in the way he was describing stuff. Yeah, yeah, fuck this guy. But ladle to the grave was, I will tip my cap, not bad, you know? Last time I was the guy, he did Yoda's nuts balls or whatever. Oh, yeah. Yoddust sack or something. That was a good, that was a good, you know. Shout out to that guy.

He's going to be thrilled to get a second shout out. Yeah. More of that stuff. No, yeah. That doesn't make sense, but at least you're calling him balls and they're green, you know. no need to gild the lily don't need to be too complicated with it just be a wario's hairy asshole

honestly that's fucking great right to the fucking point dude I love that that's really good but yes I just I'm having a great time moving like I just walk around the neighborhood and I just like I just see a restaurant I'm like I have to try that

and I just like make little fucking dots and I'm just I'm going all I'm in very much a sushi zone right now now, just because it's like, you can eat it and not feel like a complete piece of shit, you know, if you just kind of don't do the fried rolls or whatever. But New York is just, I mean, this is fucking town rules and the food is unbelievable. It's a sad thing. It's a sad thing for us that we come here and we have to, one of our meals is White Castle or some soup.

This bullshit that we're eating right now. The original soup kitchen today, of course, yeah. I couldn't remember what name it goes by now because it was originally the soup kitchen international and then it became the original soup man and now it's the original soup kitchen. Okay. A few different iterations. Interesting.

Yeah. Always, that's the whole thing. We go to great food cities when we're on the road and then we are always sacrificing a meal or meals for content. Can I give you, okay, not to use your podcast. When you're traveling, just pick a famous restaurant and be in like an iconic restaurant from a place. We've done that before and it is way better.

It's way better. And no one would be like, what the fuck? This isn't chilies. Well. You know what I mean? We'll lose them. Fuck them. You know what I mean?

Who gives a fuck? No, we should. Like, by the way, there's no... The soup, this guy doesn't have fucking... I mean, I guess the New York thing in its soup month, so you made an exception. Sure. For the Seinfeld's Soup Nazi.

That's who this guy is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I get it. But yeah, fuck your listeners. Just go have a good... Just have a nice meal at a famous restaurant and they can suck your dick. And by the way, you fucking idiots.

When you go on vacation, they fucking... If Mitch can fit in the booth, you can too. They've stress tested a nice restaurant. You motherfuckers want to go to chain restaurants because you don't have the space, and I'm with you, I know. But they're doing you a service. If an autistic man and a fat man

are welcomed in a fancy restaurant, that's 90% of you. I know that for a fact. So they're doing a service for you. Sorry. Usually combine. Usually combine. So anyway, that's me getting ahead of them saying,

Hey, that's not a chain. I say you do this. We should do. Every time you travel, pick one nice place and just review it. New York also had, what was the Asian soup place we went to, which we loved? Remember in New York City? I mean, you're thinking of Jean-Famous foods? But that's not just a soup.

Not just soup. But that's a fucking chain. Yeah, we have reviewed that before. We reviewed it, and it was great. That's great. That place is awesome. That place is good. And maybe we should have done that.

You know, we maybe should have revisited it instead of what we did. I think this was a, I think this was a good calculation. I think that this might have been your pitch. I can't remember we came up with this. I think maybe you said, and I said, we might as, I was saying we should do it. It is good. Because you were like, you were like, I want to eat some good soup, some chowders. I was like, don't make me some dog shit. And then, but I have to admit the soup nazi is a good guy to pick coming to New York.

It's kind of classic. Pretty iconic. And you had never, have you ever had it before today or no, no, no. Do you have a, just, just talking generally about soups. Do you have any, do you have any favorite soups and, you know, like, you know, like, Like, I obviously have to ask about Greek soups, particularly, yeah. Well, Greek soups, honestly, I don't, so growing up, so Avgolemono is like a classic Greek soup. It's sort of like a lemony, it has, I don't know, Avgo is means egg.

I don't know what part the egg, I don't know where the egg is involved. I did, and a lot of people will have that when they're sick or whatever. I'm not a big, that was never, for some reason, Greek soups are kind of a, I don't really like a lot of them. I don't like, you know, they'll have like a fasolada, which is like a bean kind of soup, chili stew thing. Wasn't my thing as a kid. My dad would make like a real like peasant ass either beef or fish like soup, which was just boil the vegetables a little bit,

throw some fucking fish or beef into it, just a clear-ass broth, truly like a peasant's like we had all the bullshit in our, it was basically whatever, when the vegetables in your fridge are about to go bad, make a soup, and then pick either fish or beef for it. And so I never, the Greek soups, honestly, for me, don't really... I was not a big soup guy. I mean...

Lemon chicken soup, right? Yeah, yeah, lemon chicken soup. Yeah, like a... Yeah, I mean, I've got lemon. I think they'll throw some chicken in, I've got a lemon or two. But I don't, I'm not a bit, you know, I was never, you know, growing up, truly packaged ramen, and then when I got my hands on, like, fucking Campbell's clam chowder, changed my...

I was a big canned clam chowder. Again, a fat child, I was like, hell yeah, dude, this is fucking... Because I love seafood, and it was like, nice. It's creamy and buttery. It's not a bad. It's not a bad. Campbell's clam chowder is not a bad.

No, and I think it was like the Donovan McNabb, Campbell's, mom commercials. Like those worked on me. As a child, advertising worked on me the way coffee shop chalkboards work on Elvis. And so I was just in on Campbell's immediately, you know. And then chili, too. I know there's some controversy.

Is it a soup? Is it not? In my mind, it's like, it's fucking soup. Who the fuck are we kidding? It's off limits this. I get it. Yeah, but I do love chili. Except I did.

The soup man does make a chili. The soup man does make a chili, which I guess we will be evaluating. It's fucking soup. What are we talking about here? I mean, this one's particularly was soup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that if you have like a looser chili, it counts as a soup. And this one was a little loose chili.

Yeah, I could see that. Yeah, the grade eight, because some, some chilies is basically they're a fucking paste. Yeah, yeah. Just smear them on this shit. But yeah,

that was kind, and then I was somebody who like, you know, growing up, I had a, we had a very, like,

if it wasn't Greek food, like it was pizza or Chinese, no, no exposure to any other cultures whatsoever. And so it was like college when I, like,

I'm introduced to fah. I remember the first time I went to a ramen place. Yeah. I was like, what are you fucking out of your mind? I'm going to pay $20 to have fucking ramen. Ramen cost a dollar.

It costs nine cents or whatever. Yeah. But I really Fah and Vietnamese soups in general I really fucking love I mean I've become like Especially going on the road You get sick a lot

It's like a classic Again not too crazy of a of a meal If you want to kind of keep it a little light Especially if you're like all congested and shit It's a go-to meal for me when I'm on the road Or if I'm feeling that's become my if I'm feeling sick What soup do I get? I get Fah usually

Sure And you know I'll still Obviously the classic I think why I took the clam chowder also as a kid is because not a Greek soup, but a Baltimore thing was a cream of crab soup. Oh, shit. I've never had cream of crab soup.

Oh, you are going to... Is it good? That's going to change your life, brother. I want to try it. It's incredible. It's so fucking good. Where is it versus like a lobster bisque or a clam chowder in terms of... Is it the same sort of principle?

It's similar. It's not really... I mean, some of them have potato, but it's just like... It's sherry. Okay. It's like sweeter. It's like kind of like... It almost...

Not cinnamony, but it's like, it's kind of got those elements of like, I don't know, I fucking love cream. It's just like, it's, it's, there is, Bisk will have a little bit of tomato. There is, this is white. This is cream and crab. It's just, that's what the fucking name is. And yeah, I just, I fucking loved it growing up and, you know, throw some crackers in that bitch. And if they really put a ton of, if you go to a good place where they'll, well, they'll fuck it up with like, you know, we'll fuck it up with like plenty of crab meat. It's awesome.

Sounds awesome. That was a soup of my youth that really got me going. We were talking about this beforehand, but we were talking about how, like, you know, we think we're further ahead in the world than we are and we're very diverse. But it is that sort of thing of like, I didn't have ramen. I didn't have sushi until I was, like, in my 20s. And growing up, we've talked about this before. Like Mexican food was like the, like, you know, the most diverse food I would have. It was like.

Well, I grew up in California. So my advice is a little different. But you were over in New England. there was a time when Mexican food was not like a national cuisine. No, yeah, of course. Yeah, I mean, I grew up on fucking or taco night was like that came around when I'm like 1560 and it was my mom, seasoning ground beef the way she would for Greek food and just putting it in shitty shells. You know what I put sour cream and fucking cheese on top of it. That was my, I didn't even had Taco Bell.

Like, even though I was available, I was just like my, that was like literally too different for my family. We just didn't do any of that shit. 100%. Same. And that's ramens and fuzz and stuff like that. I don't know if you ate those when you were younger, but that was like... No, I mean, ramen, again, my experience was with it was, this is like a kind of a budget kind of like poverty meal. You know, like, like, like, oh, I can get a cup noodle or a top ramen that's cheap as shit. And then it wasn't until like, yeah, I was in my 20s. I was like, oh, I'll go to a nice ramen shop. But that's also like a thing that's roughly lined up with when these nicer ramen shops started expanding in the States. Yeah. Yeah. I think other soups have taken a bad. I feel like, you know, No, soup Nazi has fallen on hard times. Oh, Asian soups clear every other fucking genre of soup.

Yeah, sure. I mean, it's like if I'm going to have soup for dinner, first of all, I would never have soup for dinner until, like, it was always end up appetizer until Asian soups came into my life. And it's they fuck. And we haven't even, that's the thing, there's so much more to like explore. You know what I mean? Fah is not, it's great, obviously, but then like a bun behooi where it's like they're

like spicy lemon grass shit they got going on. you know, ramen, but like, uh, soba when you get like the thicker udon and shit like that. Like, I just think, I think the continent, you know, all of like sort of like Asia just fucks everyone up when it comes to soup. Yeah. Which it feels, it feels like, especially because I think it's mostly the noodles are so superior. Yeah. And the filling is so much more superior than like orzo or rice. I mean, rice in a soup makes me fucking sick.

I see rice in a soup. I'm like, this is fucked up. Well, you also got like the Thai soup. which are like its own sort of category. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's, I would not eat a, like, a trough-sized portion of, like, like, clam chowder or, yeah, or, like, slippery soup for, like, dinner, you know what I mean? Like, like, like, having a huge ass, like, toilet bowl size, like, portion of ramen. I'm like, this is fucking.

I don't know why you had to say toilet bowl size. He thought of the most appetizing, uh, serve, like, serve, uh, plate or dish that he could possibly think of. Flush the leftovers. We almost said that with the leftovers today I often will flush leftover like soup down the toilet Can you flush?

Like can you flush food? What happens to be throw up? I mean I mean like yeah obviously you can I will throw up into a toilet You can flush food It's just been processed I also thought it would have been nice to put the soup in the toilet

Because Mitch had shit in it And I wanted to give my I wanted to give my toilet a chaser afterwards. Give it a Bist chaser after whatever atrocious dump Mitch took in it. You went in to give it the soup and there was an empty bottle of Tylenol on the floor.

What are you doing? Toilet, what are you doing? No, no, I get the plunger. No, no. I need you. I have to shit inside of you soon. This is the fourth toilet of my life that's committed suicide. Not again.

The plumber is zipping it up in a black bag. Toilet pulls through, but the toilet's kid goes on to host a podcast. But I think the only like sort of American generally soups that even we could enter into some kind of tournament that would even, could even possibly have an argument is like a clam chowder. Yeah. And look, I'm going to just say chili, we got. to make a version of chili that counts as a soup that's not too thick because that's an incredible soup. I love chili.

And that's, that can be a meal. Can you see the bowl of chili? And that's the only thing in my opinion that all this other shit to me is like, yeah, it's canned. Soups are a poverty food. That's how they started. You make a fucking bone last longer by fucking boiling it. And they got

way more creative. They have better, like here, it's just like, yeah, split pea cream of mushroom, all this fucking dog shit. Get it out of my fucking face. I just, it's seems like it's time has passed a little bit. Also, I was going to say on the Apple podcast charts, toilet pod is above

doughboys. It's like five spots above toilet. I think I think soup Nazi has fallen on hard times. Also because the name probably. Well, now it's probably got a big boost in popularity. Actually, that might carry him.

People are like, wait, this guy is Jewish? Fuck. There's a lot of guys pissed off. After the Trump rally at MSG I'm sure a lot of them went to the soup Nazi and got pissed off when they found out the guy was Jewish

They should just hire Michael Richards at soup Nazi have him serve That would be fucking awesome They do have the actor Larry Thomas has like Later became like kind of a brand ambassador They actually played the soup Nazi And then you know

Like we went to the original case And Jason Alexander's headshot is there So like they're leaning into it a little bit more but there was a time when that guy was like, fuck Seinfeld. Yeah, yeah. Oh, right. Yeah, he didn't like the association at all. What, like, like, I'm curious before we get into the original soup kitchen, like, like,

do you have any favorite New York City soup shops? Like, I know Hail and Hardy soups, which we used to like, that place is, I guess, completely folded. Oh, yeah. But, like, I don't know if there's any, like, or, like, a ramen shop or anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I, I, when I first moved, I had a really shitty writing job in Times Square, and I did actually, I would go to Hale and Hardy if I, but again, it would always be sort of like a, you know, you get it with a, you do the classic tomato with some grilled cheese bullshit. Like it was never, I could never really like have a soup for lunch.

That, to me, it was just too depressing, you know what I mean? Yeah. But no, I mean, I really, yeah, I like, I really like, I'm, I'm, like what I was doing with the, like what I'm doing with the, like what I'm doing with the, pizza spots, I'm trying every fall place around, like in sort of, basically. Literally, like, Lower Manhattan. Most of it is in Chinatown, but like in Lower Manhattan. There was a great place in, again, in a story where I used to live, faux Indo-Chine, I think it was called. Great, great place.

Check that place out. They also do a lot of, like, I like regular, you know, the rest of Vietnamese food, too, and they had a really nice menu. Fa Bang is probably my favorite one in so far that I've tried. I really like that one. And I haven't, I'm, romans to me are great. But the really good ones are, it's like, it's such a fatty pork-based broth that I just, I'm trying to stay away. I'm trying to go broths that are a little lighter right now.

So I'm really in a fah zone right now. We were talking, I mean, like, ramen is, is the best, but you just, it's a thing you can't eat constantly as, as a 40-something-year-old man. Well, I also like, you know, because you can get the show-you ramen, which is usually a chicken base, but, like, I'm someone who's, like, doesn't try as not to eat pork. And so much of the best ramen is like a, like a tonkatsu or, or, or, you know, and, I just, you know, different pork base and it's like there are times i'm just like ah fuck it i'll just get the the spicy pork but i like i i just feel i i don't know i feel more it's it's so dumb we all draw our own lines in terms of what we were willing to eat and not eat but like for me it's like feels like a little bit more horse or anything oh no i'm just saying like for me it feels i feels a little

bit more ethically hazy yeah i just eat a little bit less pork so when you're denying yourself that you're losing a lot of like the best ramen has to offer yeah um but even ramen has a really good chicken base, chicken broth. Okay, yeah, yeah. Because when I, like, you know, I feel like, I don't know, maybe 2015, 16, it felt like there was kind of a ramen craze, 2014, maybe it was even earlier. Because I feel like there was like a, there was like some Netflix shit that they had like a lot of, I just, for whatever reason, and I really, I remember taking a trip before I lived in New York

and like trying different ramen places. And even my little brother who, like, little, you know, he's two years younger. He's a 34-year-old man. But, yeah, my younger brother, even he would, like, they got to the point where he was so into ramen that we, he would come up and just make pilgrimages to try specific ramen spots. And I remember Ivan having a really good chicken-based one.

Okay. Maybe check out, and that felt kind of fatty in the way the pork did, you know? Yeah. It wasn't clear the way some chicken ones are. So, I don't know. If you, you know, I know you don't want to, like, harm pigs. And I feel, I feel bad.

They're so delicious. They're so fucking good. I'll never stop and I feel bad, but whatever, you know, fuck them ultimately. I think, yeah. I think it's just kind of like, like, it's like fucking everything. You're just trying to minimize your impact. But it's like, it's the same thing as recycling. It's such a drop in the bucket.

Like there's, there's a way you can talk yourself into why even fucking bother. Ride your high horse. I think it's not, I personally can't ride any horse. We went to Colorado. We went to Colorado Springs and my sister and mom were like, we're going a horseback ride. I was like, cool, I'll come. And they were like, you can't get, you're going to kill the horse. Yeah, yeah.

Like, the horse will... Is there a mutated Clydesdale? No, I remember because, like, when you're a little kid and someone would have a pony at a birthday party, that's a tough. As a fat child, where the guy just looks here like, no. Guys like, nah, buddy, not going to be you. It sucks a thousand pound animal. You can't get on top of that thing. I, uh, the other night, we, I ran, I was filming and I ran long, I was filming and I ran long.

and we had to cancel our record and I had ordered a pork ramen. This was back in L.A. It was a different part in L.A. And I ordered pork ramen with extra pork and extra egg. And I was like, hey, Mike can have my ramen because we had already ordered it. And then Wags, you were like, Emilia, you can have my ramen. It was a fucking vegetarian ramen. Yeah, it was a vegan ramen.

She got fucked over so bad. Yeah. That's a tough one. Yeah. Yeah. Veggie ramen. Leggie ramen, no thanks. No, it's always a bummer, you know.

And places they don't have a chicken base. It's like that's your only option. Oh, that place doesn't have a... No, they didn't have it. Oh, weird. Well, I'll give a teaser. Dikuyu. That's where we were going to go. I don't know if you've ever had that next year.

Oh, so it's my... Really? Great spot. And one of the places that kind of will get into it next week was, you know, kind of at the vanguard of making ramen a, you know, food you'd go out for in the States. Cool. Yeah. Yeah, but the place rocks. I mean, I've been in Japan and having one.

ramen there obviously is fucking insane. Yeah. I mean, it feels even better than like what they say about here in pizza. Like there I truly like I would randomly go somewhere no, no research whatsoever and would have every best bowl of ramen I've ever had in my life all took

place one trip in Japan. Fuck. No research whatsoever. Right. Just walking in, just walking around Tokyo and being like, I'm going to have a lot. I'm hungry. I'm going to the first place I find soup and it was always incredible. I didn't have one bowl where I was like wow that was bad or even subpar

yeah fucking crazy I feel like Japan is the you're gonna go somewhere I think you'll go to Japan I mean I don't I don't think you'll go anywhere we'll say it's something like Nasfrato we'll put you in a fucking coffin

and sail you across the fucking sea put you in a boat all the rats have been eating on the way over that's me I'm his little fucking what's his name not Igor what is this hell oh Renfield

his familiar his familiar I want to ask you quickly sure pizza the famous pizza spots once because we were on it. Did you do DeFaras ever? Have you done that? I actually don't know if I've done DeFarres. The old man died. So that is like a... Oh, that place. No, I've never, I've never gone to that one. Johnson Bleaker? Yeah, that one's great. That was really good. That was really good. I really like scars. I heard

that's the new hot spot. And I look because I love a pepperoni. I love a pepperoni, like a crispy cup. Scars is fucking awesome. I wish I could remember I went again, just because I walk and I didn't, I don't remember where the fuck the place even was. I think it was kind of closer. I don't remember where it was. But I went to place that was very good. And they had a really good vodka slice. I didn't have it. But like it, I just happened to bump into the owner. And I had their regular slice because I want to be a scientist about it and just start with a regular. But that the vodka was fucking was looking really good. But I wish you could remember the place. Sorry, I'm fucking this guy over right now. But yeah, just the class. I mean,

they're, they're good. You know, Joe's is even though it's a. We went to Joe's last fucking good. Joe's is good. The people are too mean to Joe's. They got one in LA and it's good. Right down the middle, just like it's not, it's better than right down the middle, but it's just like a reliably very good slice. Is it, you know, like going to change your, is it like a five out of five perfect?

Are they doing anything creative? No, but they're fucking crushing a great slice. Yeah. How was your water there last night? I just, I was like, it was so fucking late. And I was like, if I have pizza now, I'm going to have acid reflux. I'm not going to be able to sleep. What time did you wake up today?

I don't like nine something. Jesus Christ. He went to bed about three. Yeah. I know. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, you got six hours. Six hours is not, yeah, it's not bad.

I usually sleep six hours. I mean, I wish I could sleep better. I just can't. Yeah, well, he can't. The first time we went on tour, did we just, we just maybe told this story recently, but Wags came out in sunglasses

and it was 10 p.m. Or maybe like the blue light blocking. Yeah, yeah. Well, like I have the blue light blocking now, but like I was just on the road, oftentimes I'll just use sunglasses so I don't have to travel with another pair of glasses. Carl's heart thought he was doing a funny bit.

Even a character? Silly wager. He has funny little bits. No, he's just a psychopath. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, just coming to silently sort of shame us so that we stop making noise so he can sleep. There was noise being made on that trip.

That was a different chiller. Oh, all right, yes. Yeah, you're mixing things around. Was there some Arlo hotel-style shenanigans happening? Not from me, but yes, yes. Elders just sat through a couple of those, haven't you little buddy? Did they go as long as the Arlo one for me last night or no? Definitely not long.

No, no, definitely not that long. Is you screaming? Like, what are you doing in my privates? One time I heard a girl gagging, I was like, come on. I mean, that's what I was thinking, too. I was like, I'm getting my dicks. I'd be like, all right. is a little much, sister.

It sucks to roll your eyes while getting your dick sucked. It really took me out of the moment. She's perfectly talking, what's wrong? I was getting my legs sucked by Michael Winslow. He's doing like, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo, bo. He's making radar noises while sucking my dick. Hey, buddy. By the time the average person hit 60, they've lost and regained several hundred pounds. Wow.

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Super Supe Nazi episode of Seinfeld Great episode of television It is a great episode I mean a classic A classic yeah Literally I think that is how I learned the term Nazi Oh wow I think I knew about soup Nazis

Before I knew about regular Nazis Because I watch Seinfeld as like a seven year Six or seven year old You know? Yeah yeah yeah And that's such a funny city It's kind of a very silly, almost like vaude... You get the bit even as a child.

It's like, this guy's stern. He is a very cartoonish show sometimes. But that one in particular, it's like, this is a stern guy who can take away this soup that everyone loves. And even a child could understand that concept. And I just remember... So anyway, I do legitimately think I knew about soup naches

before regular Nazis. Probably a good way to ease into it, honestly. It's probably the better way to kind of find out. Yeah. I think it was Indiana Jones for me. Oh, okay. Oh, right, yeah. That makes sense to me.

Like, also a cartoon Nazi. Like, like, doesn't actually feel like a threat and, you know. But, I mean, it does, but it's like in a movie villain sort of sense. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and they melt them out there. You're defeated at the end, yeah. I miss fun Nazis. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I know. Bring back some fun Nazis. We got really to deal with fucking real Nazis. I know. It really sucks. That's what I was saying, yeah, super Nazi just doesn't, I mean, like you were saying, probably more popular, but just not as fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe the Red skull or something. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's fun. That's more fun. Anyway, so, yeah, but Spike Farrison, who wrote the episode talked about, I mentioned this on my intro, but the interaction that happens with George Costanza, where he asks for bread and he's like, no soup for you, takes it away from him.

That's actually happened to him. Wow. So that was just like his direct experience. That's crazy. Yeah. It opened in 1984, Manhattan is Soup Kitchen International by Ali Yegane is the man who got crowned the soup Nazi against his witches, obviously. It was closed in 2004, then reopened to the same space from the,

named the original soup man. They tried to expand it into a chain, which is partly why we're covering it. There were about 20 of these at a certain point, but now it's back to a single location, rebranded, yet again is the original soup kitchen. I mentioned all this earlier. Yevgen-A is no longer involved with day-to-day operations,

but he does oversee the soup recipes, apparently. Uh-huh, interesting. I mean, yeah, this screams barely, this is like, this is actually perfect as a soup because it is, they are making a very weak broth out of the bone of how good this restaurant was in the 80s. You know what I mean?

Like, this is bull. This sucks, ding. I mean, I don't want to, I don't want to like tip my cap too much, but it's like, this is like the, it closed and then it reopened. We tried to expand. It's really, that makes so much sense to me

because it feels like a very pale, a shell of itself sort of thing. Like, having this soup, I can't imagine there was a time where somebody was like, that worried that this guy took their soup from him. You know what I mean? Here's a crazy thing I'm going to say we're off the bat.

We liked it. Nick and I liked it. This is great. This will open up a rich vein of conversation and debate. But I want to say like Nick and you're, I know you already did the intro and everything, but like this really was that good. Like when it first opened, it was like that unimpeachably good? Or was this spike fairnstein had like a weird interaction. It was like this would be a good.

Yeah, the spikes were like that. Did he just overdo it to make it for, you know, dramatic stakes? Or was this at one point known as like, whoa, you. gotta go to this fucking place. From what I read, at a certain point, it drew a line. Part of it was the quality, but also part of it was as a value proposition. Like the soup was like shockingly cheap.

Gotcha. But like you have... It's still not super expensive now. It's still not super expensive. But you're having a... I'm not going to... Never mind. Okay.

It's super expensive and I was going to say like... And I was like, why would I even... Because you should. That's fun. Super expensive is good. Why would I do? that. I'm just wasting everyone's time. It's not like a fucking idiot. I liked it. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry. I wasn't saying anything.

She should have kept in my head. Anyway. He can't get roof access, can't he? I'm very nervous about him in the city with skyscrapers. But like, I think part of it is

I feel like they're just the general quality of soups that are available. And part of this is what, to your point earlier, of just like, the rise of Asian soups being widely available in the U.S. Soup is just at an at another level than it was in the 80s and 90s.

And also a soup chain is just like like a chain like soup plantation another place. Which had way more than what it seems like soup man has. Like that they still call it that? Well, here's a thing. That's fucking nuts. Suppmentation closed for good

during the pandemic. I'm not sure if it's resumed. The pandemic. Yes, yeah. It was called Soup Plantation in 2020? It lasted a shockingly long time. We were viewed Soup plantation. It was going strong after Doe Boy started.

Soup Plantation is the portmanteau but like notably... And don't listen to that episode because I'm sure we're like, it's actually a fun name. Things have changed even since then. All of this episode's released, the Sue Plantation Chain Rescue

came out on Tuesday. So we just revisited and talked about... And you were like, we need stronger slavery themes the name. Let's stop pussy footing around. We were saying the name should change.

Well, yeah, the name should have changed a long time ago. But that's like a thing like, like, you know, like six flags, the theme park for the longest time, one of the six flags was the Confederate flag. And that's what makes they got rid of like 2014 or something like that, you know? At least you have to go through a little scavenger hunt to figure that out.

Yes, yeah. It's not called General Lee's Six Flags, you know what I mean? Soup Plantation. Inane. Like, why? Why is soup draw... Soup plantation and soup Nazi? Like, soup, the most, like, the most basic food as the, like, all these racist names attached to it.

The old man that dances is really happy with his plantation. That's why the old guy is dancing. He's thrilled with how things are going. You know, that actually gives me a theory because this also, it's in Midtown, right? The locations in, like, the 50s or whatever, like 53rd or whatever, where is? I don't know exactly where.

But it's, like, 53rd and, like, 6th or something. Not far from Central Park, not far from. from Rockefeller Center. We almost walked to Central Park to eat, and then we were like, let's just eat at the La Pancetitian. We did the Lepan Catadiana across the street, which is another chain where you're good for soup month.

And it sucked way worse than this. Interesting. The soups were worse there. Well, the soup sucked, sure, but that's a good, that's a good place, I think. Yeah. We did, we did George Lugas talk show yesterday, and a fan afterwards was like,

why were you sitting outside La Pant Cotidian? Had seen us and he just didn't say anything. Yes, yeah. They saw us and say shit, too. Which is the, it's sad when we, we hear that they're too scared to say hello to us. Two cowards sitting there. Yeah, I mean, that's insane.

You're right, it's on 55th and 8th. So actually, that kind of makes sense because probably what was going on is this guy just was Hale and Hardy. You know what I mean? This is in a time before, that's a place where it's very midtown, 55th and 8th, although in the 80s it probably was a little shittier,

but still by Rockefeller Center. Like, it's in a place where I'm guessing people were working a lot. I mean, you know, the guy who wrote the episode, it happened to him probably while he was writing Seinfeld or whatever. He was writing on Letterman. Or Letterman, whatever, yeah.

So it's by a busy place, but there's a lot of office buildings. He probably was just kind of the hailing hardy of his time in a world before we had those. So that actually makes a little more sense to me. It's like, because I couldn't, it's weird to think of him as like, this insane. He's got the best soups of all time. But it makes way more sense where it was cheap. It was quick. It's right by your office.

That's why it was probably popular. And you didn't have like fucking Yelp. So like discovering a place was like word of mouth or you walk by it, you know? Right, right. Okay, that makes sense. Well, the thing that was surprising to us when we were there yesterday is that it wasn't just tour, there were a lot of seemed, what seemed like locals. There didn't seem to be a lot of

locals. It was, it was not, you know, not as swarmed as like a gray's papaya, but like the same, similar sort of experience, it feels like, oh, people from different classes are coming to this, uh, yeah, and it's not just tourists. I was a little surprised at that. We've actually been lucky now that I'm thinking about with New York spots because grace papaya is good. Honestly,

maybe, maybe the only one that. Yeah, White Castle sucks kind of bad, yeah. Well, no, we did Guys American at Times Square. Oh, right, that sucks shit. We went to Guys American Times Square, yeah. Damn, when the fuck did that close down? You guys did that when as soon as the podcast started? I think they were closing as we walked out the door.

Yeah, like, closed the next year. It was like, you know, that that place did not last very long. And it was like the problem with some of these Guy Fierry restaurants, just like, oh, this is going to be fun. And then you go on there, it's like, no, this is just kind of like inert and... It should be more fun. They should have, like, guys, fries that look like his hair or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They should lean into it more. Because they got, like, the donkey sauce, but it's like, that's as heightened as they get, you know? Yeah, the server should have fucking flame button downs, you know what I mean? They don't do any of that. It's crazy. It's just this kind of a boring gastrop vibe, yeah. That's the shame, because I do honestly fuck with Guy, and I feel like he's kind of... I like Guy for you.

We like Guy. We're big guy grocery games fans here. Me and Els have watched hours of that. That's... When Chopped is a little too artistic, too intellectual for you, the people's version of Chopped. fucking snooty chopped is on. Newty, art house chopped. You know what I mean? No, no, no.

Throw on guys grocery games. Some guys chopping up hot dogs, putting mayo in it. You know what I mean? But yeah, that's weird because I feel like, I feel like he would be able to nail that. That does make me sad. Yeah, that's the Bourdain, which I know you're in a Bordain.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the thing that makes me like dislike Bordain a little bit, even though I love Bordain. Sure. But he was very mean to, he was too, he bullied guy, much, a little too much. He did. Yeah, that was the, that was actually the moment that

turned me to, where I was like, wait, is guy very cool? Because he like made fun of Bourdain for being on heroin. He was like, he was like, oh, I'm sorry, I was just cooking while you were doing fucking heroin, you piece of shit. And that's like a pretty funny roast back where it's like, oh, my bad, I was just making food

people love while you were fucking doing drugs and, you know, saying the best, oh, you got to go to this obscure fucking French, just shut the fuck up. Have a, have a fucking hot dog. Guy is the guy's game to you know. Absolutely. Bordana's shop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I love both. Yeah, me too. Me too. That is weird. I feel like now, I feel like they could have they could have buried it. They could have. They would have buried the hatchet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do love though, that's the sort of thing when you're just kind of talking, like when someone goes way too far

in an argument, like they just like immediately goes for whatever your weakest spot is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's a power move. Yeah, really is. Is that why your fucking mom died? Jesus Christ. That would happen. I went to Baltimore City Public Schools.

That was awesome. Whenever you would see that. Yeah, yeah. You're just like, don't say anything. Like, when something like that would happen, you're like, don't move. You do not want to be brought into this. Dude, I remember I was two, one of the jobs before I started stand up full time. Like, when I realized I needed to just do stand up full time is I was a tutor.

I was a writing tutor in my college. And then I was like tutoring kids in Baltimore City. And I was like, this will be good. I'll do like this after school program. And there was like little reserved. Like, you know, it was middle. school, I had a hunch he was gay, but they're kids. So, you, it was just like, I was like, the kind of kid that, like, oh, this kid would have

gotten bullied when I was growing up. And I was like, I have to, like, watch out for him, you know, whatever. And some, like, girl, like, says something, like, some, like, and this girl was also, like, fat. And he was just, and she's, like, calls it, she, she called him a slur, a gay slur. And he was like, that's why your mom was burned in a house fire. Oh, my God. And I was like, what the fuck? And I was like, Jesus Christ.

Maybe I don't have to watch out for him too much. And he got her, dude. And she was like, she's just shaking to her core. And she just left him alone the whole semester after that. Jesus Christ. I mean, I guess if you're like a, and he was smart as shit. And he was, you know, I do think the kid was gay. And so if you're like a nerd, and he looked like a classic fat little kid, little

glasses, like, and then, dude, so you know this kid just, he just punched back harder. Had it in the barrel. He just had it, dude, he had it locked and loaded for everyone. I even saw him like sizing me up a couple times And I like backed off Yeah Like he gave me the look where I was like This is the look I gave when I'm about to roast someone

And I want no parts of this child You know you know how I mean I'm sure you know this too Is that that fat guys just get stray bullets all the time Of course Two guys are fighting and they're like And fuck you you fat fuck I'm just sitting here watching it

What the fuck did I do? Yeah Because it's very easy You're in rhythm You're like You know what I mean It feels nice just get a fat kid or someone who's like cross-eyed,

you know, just these very obvious visual things where there's no work to be done, you know? Yeah, yeah. But no, anyway, I don't know. Can you see if you can look up the quote? You somebody, look at the exact quote. I would love to know if I, I think it was something. You just look up like Guy Fierry, Anthony Bourdain, heroin.

It might come up. They would have, they would have buried the hatchet. I think so. I think so. Although, guy, his, the jewelry is getting a little white. wild, even as a guy fan. Yeah, yeah. He's looking like a member of Migos these days.

His chains are getting, and I respect him and I love it, and I'm a chain guy myself, but he's wearing, like, shit that you, like, lock up a bicycle with, or like a motorcycle with, you know? Man, if only Bourdain didn't meet Aja Argento, everything. I know, yeah, yeah, yeah, could have buried the hatchet. I, I, like, there was, I mean, first off, when Guy does, when diners drives and dives, this is documented, goes to a, it goes to a restaurant, goes to a local shop. like something like a permanent 200% increase

in business. Like it's crazy how much publicity he gives some of these chains like breeze new life into them sometimes like keeps and they don't deserve it they don't deserve it necessarily. The diner in my in Greek town it was like fine and dude they made up a dish. Like I've been going there my like I've been going there since it opened and they were like you got to try our

famous riblets and it was like you've never cooked this once. They made up because it was just a shitty diner that no specialties and they just made up three dishes and like four months after I think actually that diner might be the only one that didn't get the bump. Wow.

Just went quickly back to where it was. I found the quote. During a 2012 roast of Anthony Bordana at the New York City and Wine Food Festival Fierry got his chance to fire back at his tormentor. Fieri's line was, I hear you're the only one in class

who did most of his cooking with a spoon and a big lighter. That's pretty good. Oh my God. That's a fucking good joke, man. That's a good joke. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

He got his ass, you have to admit. And right after that, he's like, Mike Mitchell's a fat fuck. It wasn't even there. Looking forward to getting like a text from like Josh Gondelman or something. He's like, I actually wrote that show for it. So, okay, so you'd never been here before.

Never been there, no. Didn't even know it still exists. I thought it was like, you know, from the times of your, exactly. I didn't know it still existed. And I guess in some ways it doesn't. It's not the original. It's not, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

It's a simulacrum of what it once was. But I think there's also an element of like it's frozen in time. Like it feels like these are the same recipes that they were serving in 1984. Very much a hole in the wall. It is just, you cannot sit down on there. There's a little cart that they move out of the way to take. Which we were there. They took a soup off the thing.

Yes, we witnessed in real time. It was actually pretty exciting that they swapped out potato with bacon for split pee. And we're like, holy shit, there's a new soup up there. They saw two dorks be like, holy shit, holy shit. They switched the suits. They switched it to a shittier suit. Tato Bacon sounds kind of good. It did sound good.

I know we were sad. And it was a shittier, much shittier suit. The split view is pretty disappointing. We'll get into it. But like if you've seen the Seinfeld episode, there's an interior. There's like a whole counter and there's like a,

you know, it feels more like a Chipotle or something like this. This is much more of just like a, just an open facing business. You're ordering from the sidewalk. So it's pretty, it's pretty modest and there's no place to eat which is why we ended up at the

at the tables outside the le pancatidian I was going to say they sell mugs, coffee mugs and shirts that's right which I'm wearing the soup for me shirt on me but but it looks good they're oh thank you

do you want a classic fat guy thing is going one size here's the thing fat guys need to understand you're never going to everyone knows your fat you know what I mean a little extra room on the 3x just get the one closest fits your body because you think, oh, if it's billowy, everyone will think I'm a skinny man in an oversized shirt. It's like, no, just be a little tight. I think that's a good

fit for you, Mitch. I thought it was, I thought they were a little tight, but I also, I, look, I haven't taken the shot. Arms looking good, you know what I'm saying? I haven't taken the shot in two weeks. Oh, really? So, and also, I think I'll always look bid unless there's a Zepbound that makes your head get smaller. Irish Zep bound. But I haven't taken the shot in a couple weeks Which also is nice to I had food poisoning, had diarrhea And so I didn't take it

And then now I got to enjoy New York more because of this But But that's actually Like, and this is me You know, not knowing how these drugs work But the, like if you're having like some sort of intestinal distress or something like that You might actually just go off of it for a time

That's the thing they'll advise you to do My doctor said to go off it for a week And I changed it to two weeks Which you probably won't be happy about. A little vacation. A little vacation But we were talking about it and it's that sort of thing of a on our fat guy text thread which it is like if you got food poisoning it does slow down your digestion got some people have been like for me what happened

to me is like i i got i got food poisoning with and actually the timing was horrible because i got food poisoning when i was going up in dose oh jesus and so that usually just kind of makes you feel a little queasy yeah but this was like food and i was sick as it was before the tour eldest those shrimp like literally the night before a two-month tour I got fucking food poisoning I had to get on a cross-country flight like the day after having insane food poisoning it was it was nuts

did you feel shit for like a week basically I felt bad for a couple days extra but that's the fucked up thing about these meds is that I do think part of why they work is they just give you food poisoning half the time and you're just like well I can't fucking eat you know like truly I bet you a lot of people that's how it works because like

It feels that way sometimes. That's why I didn't, at first, I was just like, I'm, I feel fine. And then I went into a wardrobe fitting. And I was like, I'm going to faint to the costumer. And she's like, oh, great, a 300-pound guy is going to fall over in the room. And she got me a Coke. And I felt a little better, but then shit the entire weekend, basically, yeah. Mitch, you want to show the back of the shirt?

I'm not sure of you. Oh, sure, yeah. It says, soup for me on the front, New York City. And on the back, we have the no soup for you. Is it there? Yeah. That's nice. My legs hurt just from squatting.

So, yeah, again, they're fully leaning into the science. connection at this point. I'll just say that there were, we actually bought five shirts total. We bought two and then we were bought two and we thought it would be funny to come in wearing the shirts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you lost them. We went to, okay, look, here's the thing. I had the shirts with me. They were in a paper bag. We went to the George Lucas talk show and somewhere, it got misplaced somehow backstage. It got misplaced. It was my fault.

And then you can deliver, you can get the shirts delivered. And then today I made the executive decision to just get all of our shirts. I'm the only one who had, wearing it for, I think, because you hate it. I had, yeah, I just did not want to give it free advertising. And you, and you, and you, and you, and you just, and then

when you saw Stavvi out of it, you were, you were done with it too. I'll leave you on an island. But now you have the soup Nazi shirt. It's true. I'll wear it. I'm happy, you know, I'll wear it, but I'm, you know, I just, we can get it, we can, whenever you guys want to engage critically, I'm happy to do it. Let's talk about it. Also, I'm glad that the soup Nazi, it doesn't say soup Nazi or anything like that. They made the right decision with the shirt. The color scheme's not red and black, red, white, and black.

Swastika, it was super soupy. Like, they've just shaped ladles to be swastikas. Gets its federal funding pulled, so they have to put soup-Nazi on the shirt again. So we got the lobster bisque, the clam chowder, the chicken and rice, the black bean, chicken gumbo,

jambalaya, corn chowder, minestroti, and split pea. There was some overlap style, but they fucking change the menu daily. Which I do like that. I do like that a lot. That's part of the appeal of this place. You never quite know what you're going to get.

God bless you. Yeah. So I got a different lineup. Yeah. I took copious notes here. You know, I'm a pro. On your legal pad.

On my legal pad. My dad had yellow legal pads everywhere and it was very funny for us. Our version of it is soup. We're making jokes about soup on the legal. Yeah. Soup tastes like foreskin. Your dad's like fucking writing notes. for the Supreme Court or whatever the fuck.

And I was like, chicken chookin chowder or smegma chowder. So, yeah, I got chik. My dad, meanwhile, was getting robust weight overturned. We're going to show these whores who's boss. Go get him down. He was a train, man. He worked in trains. Okay, okay, okay.

It's interesting. Yeah, so I like chicken chowder, chicken corn chowder, potato leak. I don't fuck. Do you want me to list them? Yes, please. So we got chicken corn chowder, potato leak, tomato bisque, chicken chili, Italian wedding soup, shrimp corn chowder, jumbolai, lobster bisque, and vegetarian chili. Yes, yeah.

So, and I wanted to just take, I wanted to try them all. You know what I mean? Yeah, of course. Have an opinion, take a couple spoonfuls. And I will say, I did not end up having more. than one spoonful of all. There's a couple that I kind of, I did not, overall, I was very disappointed

with this, with this offering. I just thought. It seems like you had a, you were, you had a quick lunch before soup tasting and it did look like a better lunch. Yeah. And it was like packaged fucking mac and cheese and like steak I cooked three days ago. And that looked better than this shit. But I don't know.

I think overall, it re, it just, it was the, the highest this guy. to me was replacement level soup. Like to me, I bet you there's versions of all of these soups canned that are better. I think they exist. I didn't have one that knocked my socks off. There was one that was like

the closest it got to was the lobster bisque, which, and I graded them all, doughboy style. It didn't, I didn't give a single one of them four. Wow. Wow. To me, the lobster bisque got to 3.75, but I didn't have a single one that got to four. And they really lived most

in the 2.5 to 3.5 range and maybe one was, I gave one, I gave the Italian wedding soup zero stars. I thought it was completely dog shit. Oh, man. And I will say in general, the soup, the soup Nazi, the soup man, whatever, love too much fucking carrot. There was carrots in

every fucking soup. What the fuck is that? This is a thing that Nick pointed out yesterday. Yeah, there's so much shredded carrot. In everything. It was filler. There was a lot of filler. Yeah. But I'm happy to go through each soup, whatever you guys want me to do. Let's talk about So, I mean, the lobster bisque was our favorite. Mitch and I came to a consensus.

We ranked them one through nine. And yes, the thing is, like, the small is quite small. It's just like a little, you know, like a half mug, basically, of soup. So not only were we sitting outside La Pandae, to Kittian, what the fuck, how did he? Contidian. Cotidian. Le Pond Coutidian. But we were out there and also sharing soups back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would spoon one and then he would spoon. That really looks like, like, two homeless guys found a Superman gift card. We, but yeah, like, if you want to try a bunch, there's a way to do it here. We basically had, like, sort of a sampler, sort of platter. The lobster bisque was our favorite. The second one was the other seafood soup, which was the clam chowder. I wish I'd had the clam chowder because I'm a big clam chowder fan.

But here's what I'll say. I mean, you know, I thought those rich and creamy, lots of clams, vegetable chunks. Um, you know, it was, it was pretty hardy. It was, it was filling. Um, but to your point about replacement level soups, yes, is this better than like a clam chowder you could get at a lot of places? I'm not sure if this is notably like, you know what I mean? I'm not saying even restaurants. I think you can find canned versions that are at a shitty grocery store, they're just as good.

You go to fucking home food. You go to an artisan place. There's canned versions that I, for my money are probably better. Some of those nice, like, jarred soups you'll get or whatever. We thought that none of them were bad, quote-unquote. We didn't. I tried that, and I agree that that was probably the worst one I had. I think a few of them were kind of bad.

Yes, a few of them were kind of bad. But we weren't, also, we did Le Pen to Cotidion. Cotidion. Jesus Christ. And that was the last few places we had, and all of them were basically better than what we had there. So I think that we were going into it. that's also where our heads were at. And then also... It's not a fucking soup place.

The fucking... That plays like a breakfast, like... It is, yeah. But they have a... They have a lot of suits. Okay. I guess like going to Panera first. Like...

Honestly, I would rather go to fucking Panera. Look, we had a blast at Panera. I would rather go back to Panera. Without question, I would rather have soup from Panera. Then from a restaurant called the original soup kitchen. Yeah. All they do is fucking soups. And a place that's the most corporate chain you could possibly think of

that doesn't even specialize in soup. fucking kicks their ass in my opinion. Okay, that is kind of fair. Because we loved, we loved Panera, which we just reviewed. And look, the lobster brisk and clam chowder are up there with those soups, I would say.

Those are good, yeah. Yeah, we really enjoyed those. Lobster bis, to me, it's like, it was the best one that I had, but I think it might be the worst lobster bisque I've ever had in my life. Like, it was me, here's the thing, I'll give them, I'll tip my cap

that they had real chunks of meat, not like bullshit chunks. They did, yeah. Which that's good, but I just thought this like the, and not, look, obviously I'm not a big veggie guy philosophically, but just, but in a good soup, the right veggies, like, I just thought, I never thought it was the right combination of veggies one single time. I always thought something was a little off, and mostly it was carrots. Like, like, the potato leek soup actually was pretty good, I thought. I thought the potato leaks too

I tried that too and I thought that was decent it looked like shit but like the potatoes and the flavor the actual broths pretty good but why the fuck were there shredded carrots in it

I didn't make any disorienting eating the tomato I just got a tomato bisque for myself today a small one and I like was shocked that there was carrots in it I never had carrots in a tomato mix like a standard garnish

on all of them yeah it's a little confusing I think every single one of the soups had some shredded carrots in it yeah what the fuck is that Also, just the quirk of this place, like every soup comes with bread, which you'd expect. But also a piece of fresh fruit. So yesterday we're getting pears.

Today, it was bananas. So there's a full bundle of bananas. Yeah. You're like nine bananas, all right. Most of them are green, though. And you get a mint. So yesterday they were Andy's mint. So I was like, okay, that's what we had, today there were York peppermint patties.

Like, why does that even change? Yeah. Really strange. There was a, there was a place where you could buy bunnies next door to the soup kitchen. and I wonder if it just is there's extra carrots floating around about her. I liked it.

No, I liked it. By the way, not true they don't eat carrots. Did you know that? Is that real? Yeah. It was, that it is a, they were making fun of a Humphrey Bogart

character that ate carrots like that. That it's a, it is a like, basically like a scary movie level spoof joke that Bugs Bunny was doing from a specific movie where Humphrey Bogart eats a character like, a carrot like that.

And people just, it became so Bugs Bunny's thing after that that people think bunny, it's all Bugs Bunny and bunnies do not eat carrots at all. They don't like carrots? They eat fucking lettuce and shit. Yeah. What the fuck? Wild. That's insane.

Did you know this shit? I mean, I don't think I'd, like, I assumed they didn't eat them like they were chomp on a cigar, but like I, I guess I probably thought that they would maybe, if there was a carrot, they would eat some of it. Yeah, that's what I, yeah. But maybe he was even Humphrey Boga was smoking a cigar or so. I don't know. Yeah, but I don't, but, you know, I saw a fucking Instagram real.

about it or some shit, and I took it as gospel. Yeah. Yeah. And it makes sense because I've never seen a kid. When I saw that, I was like, oh yeah, I've never seen a fucking rabbit eat a carrot in my life. I mean, look, then they would not like any of these soups because there is too much

there is too much fucking carrot. If you were planning on serving these soups to your bunny, don't do it. I think three of these soups were pretty good. I think the lobster bis a clam chowder and the chicken and rice, which had a creamy base and a good texture to it. If our listeners have bunnies, they've petted them to death already.

There was a black bean soup, which had a good texture, but it was pretty under-seasoned. And you can add, like, a number of accompaniments for these. We got some sour cream for the black bean, which was the only one that any of those add-ons made sense with. Huge addition because it was just, like, eating straight black beans out of a can. Once you added sour cream, it went a long way. But it's also like, if you need to wake it up with sour cream. What are you really getting here? And then everything from there was like kind of like, to me, a mid or below.

And that's a great point. All these soups were I could, I could tweak one thing and they would be passable. But they all, not to go back to her, they all felt like chopped ingredients to me. Right. Where it's like, what would you do to make this good? That's what every one of these fucking soups felt like to me. It's like there was like the lobster bisque, take the fucking lobster meat out. That's what you do to make it and make a fucking sandwich or some shit.

Yeah, you got halibut, sourdough. Crouton's almond butter and like dog come See what you got And like And like Sounds good Yeah like the chicken chili felt like was the most out of a canned soup

Like the season seasoning big problem Yeah everything was underseasoned I don't think anything except I think maybe the potato leak was pretty seasoned well in my case Even the lobster bisque like most of it was just like either not salty enough. The jambalaya was nicely spicy but not salty.

I just... The jambalaya was just okay. It was like because you feel like that you're going to have a good jambalaya. All of it's just okay. The veggie chili, no flavor whatsoever. What's so fucking ever. The shrimp and corn chowder, that just sucked dick. The shrimp was like...

The shrimp was those little fucked... It was like they took... They went to the shittiest Chinese food restaurant you've ever been to in your life, bought shrimp egg rolls from them, and picked out those little fucked-up shrimp egg shrimps that you would get at low-grade Chinese restaurants

and put those in a fucking soup It felt like pet store food for like fucking bigger fish It fucking sucked It was even the like The Italian wedding soup looked like All the like veggies and shit It looked like fucking it was so clear

It looked like like a shit that came out of a gutter You know what I mean like runoff from your fucking gutter It sucks This place was fucking horrible We did have some in our jambalaya There were some of those little tiny shrimps And then Mitch, I don't know if you remember You took one out and said it reminded you of your day

I didn't do that You used that to stuff your next Halloween costume Oh, you're a baby How did they finally get it? How were you on the soup? What was your final thoughts besides obviously? I mean I finished it The carrots was off-putting

I think younger it was okay. Yeah. I mean it's it's just like it's tomato soup. It's not like the best food you've ever had. But carrots are very odd to add into a tomato soup. It is weird. Like a lot of broths and stuff start with like the Mirapua which is celery and carrots and onion and you just reduce it down like crazy and that's like

gives it good flavor but I've never seen that much like shred it. It was like the kind of shredded carrots you get on top of like a garden salad from wherever the fuck. So that was bizarre. I was saying younger me would have hated it because I did I don't want veggies in my tomato soup. Usually I just want like the Panera tomato soup just like simple.

Creamy and delicious. Yeah, creamy and delicious. Their tomato soup is fucking delicious. It's good. But I mean, I enjoyed it. It could definitely have used some salt and pepper maybe. And Mike Adelves, you did not eat any soup, right? I don't like soup.

You don't like soup. Philosophically anti-soup. Do you have a favorite soup? You had to have one. What would it be? Motsabal. Yeah, Motsabal soup. What is the, Mike, what is the reason for your distaste for soup in general?

It just doesn't fill me up at all. It's not a meal to me. Yeah. It's a snack. You know, you do loves to work out. So, like, it could be that. But it's also, like, even as a, even as an appetizer, you're not as, like, like a cup of soup

is not something you're going to fancy. You're a big gym bro, Mike. I didn't know this. Oh, yeah. He's always pushing place. Come on, dude, don't disrespect the man's physique, dude. Oh, no. I didn't mean it like that.

You want to see? You want to see? I enjoy watching people work out. I'll come to the gym and watch it someday. Come on down. Drinking a Coke. I really like clam chowder. There we go.

All right. That's a good one. That's how I feel. It's like if I'm going to a certain place, like a great, you know, like as an appetizer, if you're, you know, in New England anywhere, I'm having clam chow. I'm having a cup no matter what restaurant I'm in.

Yeah. And I guess the clam chowder yesterday, New England clam chowder will beat that clam chowder yesterday no matter what. Of course. I thought the lobster bis. Campbell's clam. Campbell's canned

like fucking clam chowder I okay to be fair I haven't had the clam chowder but if you're ranking it under the bisque canned clam chowder is better than it I don't know if I'd go that far but certainly like you know legal seafood for instance which we reviewed in Boston like that clam chowder is head and shoulders

about this one and again that's just you know it's a seafood restaurant so they should have a clam chowder but but you know this is a testosterone it's like this is their whole thing Eldez, you're a soup guy or what's your, what's your, what's your thing with soup? Uh, yeah. I like soup. They're fun. They're fun to make. There's so many different things you can do with that. Afternoon or soup. Yeah. Yeah. He hasn't walked by a soup restaurant to tell him which one he should have every day. You love a cold brew infused clam chatter. That might be good. What is your, what is your favorite? What is your favorite? What is your favorite soup? God, I don't know. I mean, you're, you're Albanian. Is that correct? I am Albanian. Is there is an Albanian? Is there is an

Albanian soup. Yeah, there is, it's a donkey shit and mud soup. Don't listen to this disgusting racist propaganda. That's what they have when their oldest daughter gets married. That's the special occasion soup. I mean, Albanian, a big one growing up was fasula, just this like awesome. Yeah, awesome thick, like bean soup. Lentils?

We made lentils too, but no, this is like a white bean. Oh, okay. White bean, like red tomato weed kind of soup. We did lentils too. We did make Avgolamano, not a lot. My favorite soup, I mean, like fa. Yeah. Oh, sure.

Yeah. Fah is just such a good go-to. It's like awesome in the winter, obviously. It's awesome in the summer. It's good hangover food. Good hangover food. And I feel like, I don't know. I've never had like, it's kind of like a pizza thing for me.

I don't think I've had like a that many awful, awful fuzz in my life. Like, even the mid-grade is pretty damn good, so. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I really like a thub avine, which is the one that comes with the meatballs. Oh, yeah. See, I'm not a meat.

I hate those meatballs. Oh, interesting. We're really not philosophically aligned soup-wise. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I actually like, I really like, I'm a big tendon and tripe guy. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, sure. You know?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. They're a little too gummy. They're a little too. I see, the gummy texture, I don't mind. Okay. But I like them, I like the meatballs.

But I do, I will do. the steak and the meatballs. Yeah. Yeah, I like the fatty brisket. Yeah. I don't like the rare steak because it just, it just gets. I've been doing the thing where I take it out earlier, actually, where it's like I keep it a little uncooked because it like really,

the one that give you rare just dries up so fast. I like a fattier cut. I like the connective tissue shit, like tendon and tripe. I like that because it just kind of is kind of like, I don't know, has a little interesting texture to it. But otherwise I feel like it gets the meatballs. the rare steak get too dried out for me personally.

Natalie really likes the tendon in tripe. She really likes that in a like a minuto too is the same. Like you know, you get those awful in soup sometimes. It's just like like a soaps it up real nicely. Yeah. I mean, look,

I think American the American soup time has kind of, it's over. It's crumbling, right? Yeah, much like the American Empire. It's just kind of like, you know, the sun is setting on it. just beating us in both in both categories.

Infrastructure, quality of life, soup, it's all, we're all, it's the Chinese century, man. I'm signing up

President Xi Jinping. I am ready to enlist in the Red Army. I'd love for, if we, look, if we could get high speed rail in the U.S.,

I'm all for global dictator, Xi Jinping. Like, why not, let's just make it happen. Yeah. But it's, it's,

yeah, I mean, like, it's also like, it's not like, it's also like, it's not like we have freedom of speech here. No, Like, what are we clinging to?

Just to be, yeah, they're up front about, they're like, no, I mean, have it, listen, where you get health care, you get, you know, affordable apartment, don't bad mouth the president. Right. Everything will be okay.

Great. Fucking awesome. I shut the fuck up. Yeah. If I can get from here to Baltimore in like two hours, an hour 30, fuck yeah, dude,

I'm down. We're getting nothing for that trade off now. We're getting nothing, yeah. So you'd sell everything just for a train, it seems like. Yeah, I think so. I'm kind of with Wiger. Put me on the.

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Copyright McDonald's. We should get to our final thoughts on original soup man. I'm sorry, original soup kitchen. Another problem, by the way. A soup kitchen does not... It sounds... If I saw original soup kitchen, I would think it's a soup kitchen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the serving, you know, like a...

Bad branding all around. Very, very disorienting. Stop you know the podcast before. We will go around and review this. Final thoughts and give it a score from zero to five forks. However, because it is soup month, because it is crocdough burn fast, we are not doing forks. We have been changing it up each week. We did...

Do you remember any of them? We did soup forks and gator peens. We did gator peens. We did another one. one with Jason. I forget what we did with Jason. How about afternooners? Afternooners, great.

Zero to five afternooners. I guess. Is pumped? You walked in, Stav, and I was here with Eldis, and I said, I said, oh, Alas gave me an afternooner. Did you remember what you said? He said, he sucked you off and gave you a footer up and sucked your dick. You said it was an Albanian custom.

Uh-huh. That's right. Albanian hospitality. Stavve, your thoughts and your score and afternooners. Yeah, I mean, look, I was excited because I do, I love, I, this is an iconic episode of television. I would have loved to try a soup that was so high quality, you know, George Costanza got nervous and lost, like, I wanted to be, I was kind of like, oh, this is fun.

Even when you texted me, I was like, oh, I was like thinking, oh, we can go to some good. I was literally like maybe we go to some good like Chinatown ramen or ful place when we were talking. And then you're like, how about the, you know, the soup not? I was like, you know what? That's fun. It's New York. I've never done it. So I was pumped.

And I was like, and surely I'm getting nine soups. I'm sure they're not all going to be good, but there's going to be some standouts. And it was one of those things where with each passing soup, it was like when Donald Trump was running for president. It's like, wait, is this, are these all going to be bad? Like, it was like, with each passing one, you're like, wait, is this really going to happen? Is this? And that's what it felt. Every spoonful flow is like, huh, all right, well, I guess I started with the shitty one.

And then it was like, okay, oh for two. I'm sure this next one will be good. And they were just, like, I just, I mean, going down, it was like, every note is why is there carrots in here? Yeah. And all the scores are like 2.5, you know, chicken shout or 2. 5, potato leak 2.5, Italian wedding soup, zero, zero afternooners. Chicken chili, three, unremarkable is what I said here.

Tomato bisque should have been a three. Why is there carrots deducted 2.5? Shrimp chowder, same thing, should have been three. Why is there carrots in a shrimp corn chowder? 2.5. And it's low-quality shrimp, veggie chili. Two, no flavor. Jumbalai gets a 3.5 bad, but at least it's.

spicy, lobster bisque 3.75. No carrots in that one, which is probably helpful. If, I don't even, they might have been carrots. I think there was carrots. There might have been a carrot or two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but even the like, yeah, I don't know. I got a I also gave a couple of the dunk test. I was like, all right,

at least these will be good dunking. And it's like, only the potato leak, lobster biscuit and tomato passed the dunk test. And that's tough. Dunking soup is like the fucking best thing in the world. That's if a soup can't be awesome, dunked with bread. You're, you, it's just, I don't know, two stars, two, two, two afternooners.

Two afternooners, wow. Oh, shit. All right. Yeah, I can't, I can't, I can't in good conscience give it anything more than that. Wow. A thing that you, a thing that you put in my head, I mean, you have the breakdown of the soups that we liked in order, right? So, you want me to go through them in order?

Sure. Uh, from, from one to nine, lobster bisque, clam chowder, chicken and rice, black bean, chicken gumbo jambalaya corn chowder minestrone and split pea so the thing that you made me think of is that at black bean you're starting to get to soups i would not just go and like if you're like hey it's lunchtime and will i go get a black bean soup from the original soup kitchen no i wouldn't right like what you were for lunch even with a piece of fruit and bread yeah no i mean the other three i would go and get lunch there and i did i did think that those were close to four for afternooners Interesting.

I liked them. They were good. I don't know. Which ones are these? The lobster bis, clam chowder, and... Chicken and rice. I guess not four for the clam chowder because, like, maybe three and a half forks. Yeah.

But lobster bisque was around four forks for me, and then the chicken and rice was like three and a half. It's tough. Look, the place also has lobster rolls, and that's what they're really pushing, which to me is just a sign. It's a sign that things aren't, like the lobster Nazi, that's not what it is. This is also a recent addition to the menu. Like, this was not a thing they've always had. Oh, that's why the lobster bisque had quality lobster. Yes, yeah.

Because that makes sense. Every other meat was kind of dog shit. Yeah. No, and I think it's like when a place is that we're a soup place and they're pushing lobster rolls, that's not. Come to pizza, we got awesome fried chicken. What the fuck? It doesn't make any fucking sense. No, it doesn't make sense.

And it's a sign of a place like getting bad. And the concept doesn't work. but I still had fun with you, Wags, I don't know, you know. We had a great time. It was, I was thinking a lot of the episode, maybe that was kind of in my mind. We had a, no, we had it, this is the thing, you're going, you're actually having the experience, you're seeing the signage, you're seeing like all of the, the quotes from the episode and like at the headshot of Jason Alexander and the head shot of Larry Thomas.

You're being reminded of this, the show that you liked and this episode that was so iconic. Eating in the shadow of a place that we just had that sucked. Yeah, we just had it was a bad experience there. And so it's like, it feels like a little. little bit more of a thing. And especially like we're approaching this as tourists, not as locals. Like we're kind of having a little bit more of a good time. So that's probably earning it an extra half fork. And you guys went too. Right. Like I think I probably would have had a better time. And the other thing is that's a little unfair about this is I wanted

to, you know, try it all. But if I actually, if we're all hanging out and we go there, what I'm actually doing is probably getting clam chowder. Yeah. It's probably a three and a half type soup. Yeah. I'm probably dunking it. I'm with you guys. It's probably fine. if you have a soup you like, it's going to be the shittiest, it's going to be a pretty shitty version of it, but it's not going to be horrible. So this,

giving it kind of this encyclopedic review really hurts a place like this because I feel like I'm just not a guy who would have, you know, potato leak or Italian wedding soup. And even the best version of that, probably I wouldn't love. So maybe it's a little unfair to it to do it this way.

No, I will say this. It's totally fair, I think. The bad, the bad soups were bad. I mean, like, the split-piece soup was bad. there was a couple that were down there and like the jambalaya we were like this should be so much better than it is it was it was pretty it was pretty bad i think that we were what we had to look forward to is going to comic on and having to take a shit there so i feel like we were in like the safest space we could be at that moment and then after that was going to be

chaos and like a guy was like hey i'm a fan of the birthday boys and i was like i had to shit so bad we're in line next to this guy we should we we we game planted out because we're at this and we had to go to the javitt center for new york comic con and so was like a 30 minute walk and I'm glad we did it was a great to have a post lunch walk was a lovely walk great conversation with my friend but we but we got there and we both had I think for that 30 minute walk you were silent for like 28 minutes I think I think I think the line you said to me was nice walk buddy at the end of the walk but what you do you're eating like all of this you know hearty liquid and you're just feeling it be processed into diarrhea

and then you're just like you're the walk over there was a little little bit perilous. We got there and we destroyed adjacent toilet. Were you in the one right next to me? I was in the store to the stall right next to you. Oh my God. You could see into your stall. Yeah. No, I know. Oh, shit.

Oh, man. Just drilling through it. Zoop, zoop, zoop. Installing a glorial while shitting. You don't really need, you know, you could go under or over. Yeah. Why, girl, hung his dick over the thing. Like, he's drying a sheet in the, like, in the 19-10s.

Yeah. In college, I went to this, so, like, you find, like, the, like, I would find, like, the bathroom that had the most privacy, and there was one I found on campus. I went to UCLA that was on, like, the third floor of, like, an administrative building. But it was, like, airport size of, like, 12 stalls. And there was never anyone in there. So I would go in there and I was like, I had to, you know, get this poison out of me or whatever. I'd just go do that.

You also made a jackoff motion. Well, so here you go. Here's where this is headed. One day I'm in there. I'm taking a shit. I got my physics textbook open. And somewhat, like, again, a huge bathroom. No one else is in there.

Guy comes in, sits in the stall immediately next to me. That's fucked up. And I'm just like, okay, what's going on here? But whatever, fine. Like, maybe he thought this was, like, the most private option or whatever. A guy is sitting there, takes his sandals off. And my memory is wearing Birkenstocks. He could have been wearing shoes and socks,

but he gets barefoot. Then he takes his pants completely off, folds them and sets them on his sandals. Yeah. Then, and I'm like kind of observing this passively because he's just all right next to me. Was it Professor Ghostface? He then, like, you know,

again, I'm just shitting the whole time. he then sits his bare ass on the floor. Oh my God. Dude, he was definitely trying to... And starts jacking up. What? What the fuck? That's he fucking insane, dude.

He had this huge, huge pink cut dick with, like, red pubes. Wait, how the fuck did he see all that? He can see because he's sitting on the floor. He's underneath the stall. He's got this big dick and he's just, like, jacking off. And I was, like, trying to figure out what was happening. Why can you put a mirror on his shoes? be watching the footage on the toilet cam I installed earlier

this guy's being fucking weird in there and I had no sense I was like so... Did you borrow your toilet cam from, you know, what's his name? There's a guy we know. Oh, really? Not a friend. We know.

Hold on. To be clear. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. There's a allegation of it. of a piece of shit gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, interesting. But yeah, then he's just like, and like,

and I was like, I had no idea what was going on here. I eventually realized like, oh, this is like a hookup spot or this guy, like, thought that he was maybe gonna, or maybe he was just like a foot fetishist guy and he's like trying to jack off my feet or something like that. But I just like hurried things out. What kind of shoes are you wearing? I was just wearing like closed like sneakers, yeah, close toe. Yeah, close toe shoes.

So I had no. You did take them off for him, right? You were trying his shoes on? Yeah, yeah. But then I remember when I, like kind of hurried up and got out of there and, like, stood up. I remember he, like, kind of sat up and I saw his face for the first time. He just had a total, like, just nerd head. It was a nerd guy.

Nerd with a big dick. Yeah, nerd with a big dick. You never know what I was going to have them. Wow. Holy shit. That's really weird. I can't believe I've never heard that story before. That's fucking wild.

So, wait. So you, how much was he jacking off? Like, how many minutes did you share with his dick? Once he started jacking off, I got out of there pretty quick. And it's the kind of like, it's like, it's like, I was in the middle of shit in. You kind of like wipe hurriedly. It's fucking a nightmare. It's like, that's like your, that's your vacation shit spot.

It tainted my sanctuary. So like now I can't go back there and have this. Maybe it was one back? Not really, no. Maybe it was first year in college and that's how he jacked off at home. He was homesick. He had the same kind of tile in his, in the bathroom growing up. Still what hurts me the most is just bare ass on public bathroom for.

Discussed. That's what got me. Of all of that, that's the most disgusting thing to me. Put your bare ass on a public toilet floor. Yeah. Yeah, jacking off, no big deal. Yeah, whatever. Put toilet paper down.

I hated the red cubes. That was the part that disgusted me the most. No, I mean, that is quite the signal, though. You're saying, look, I'm putting my ass on the floor. I'm good for whatever. He was basically like, put your dick, open this stall up and throw your dick. I'll handle it, pal. He really was giving you a very clear

There's no clearer signal That he was down for a good time in that toilet Than putting your bare ass on the floor Yeah Do you think the fact that you were He sat and he went in the stall right next to you Because like that's what gets him off Like the fact that there's a person right there

Like watching I have to think there was an element of that I was why I do that Yeah And also like like in a crude old factory sense He knew what I was up to in there You know what I mean So maybe there's like some weird like

This dude's in here to jack off too You know Oh yeah I don't fucking know Yeah or that's the place because it was, you know, you found that it was the most secluded shitting toilet, maybe the gay community at UCLA found out that was the most secluded cruising toilet as well.

So you might have been fucking up their sanctuary with your straight shit. Exactly. Like, hey, these toys are for come. That guy's telling his side of the start in a much more popular podcast. Everyone on campus knew it I uh anyways

3.75 uh afternooners Wow I'm surprised you're going that same number of eldest has had today probably just two oh shit two already I'm surprised you're going that high and I took us on a on a tangent here so it so I we're running a little bit time three and a half afternoon three and a half afternooners I don't I think I'm to split the difference between the two of you

because I did think there were the highs were decently high, but the lows were quite low. And also, again, just the thing I said earlier, I think this place is kind of trapped in the 90s, but not in like a fun nostalgia way and just kind of like, this food just kind of feels dated. Right. It doesn't feel like it's adding anything to the soup conversation. It also doesn't taste like a, like a, you know, like a, like a, like a, like a, a spoonful of a memory or anything like that. It's just kind of like, oh, yeah, this is, this is just a shittier version of better soups that are widely available. I, that said, there was some kits to going to the location. I did have fun.

And I think that lands me at like, if you're, if you're us and you're like, hey, I like Seinfeld, hey, it's the soup Nazi place. Let's try it out. I think what you're in for is a three afternooner experience. I think it delivers right on the promise of the premise. I think that's fair. That's fair. Yeah, I think that's fair. How many, how many forks do you give Michael Richards set at the laugh at?

I know, I think you're, I can say it for you, five, fours. Five, four, yeah. Oh, yeah, no. He was just a decade too early. 2025 is getting Netflix special. All right, it's time for a segment. I got a food stuff.

We're going to decide if you should put in your mouth. It's snack or whack. And, hey, this was a little bit of a, of an audible because, because we got this handed to us from a fan, Rohit, who we met at New York Comic Con. These are some Canadian snacks. These are ketchup popcorn. So here we go.

I think those are just kernels. I think you have to pop those. Wait, what? I think it's just kernels. Does it say kernels on the top? They're just kernels. You got a popcorn machine in here? Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm in a cotton candy machine. Well, you fucked down up. Chimpanzee, he'll do it. Well, shout out to Rohead anyway. We'll taste him back in L.A. All right, we'll do something now. So I got a food-related exam. Mitch and Stobbust compete for superiority.

It's Slop Quiz, Candy Edition. These are compiled by Amelia. Each question here is a two-parter. So these are Halloween candy theme. Part one, and you can buzz in with your name. This candy invented in the 1880s by a wonderly candy company employee was originally called Chicken Feed. The options are Tootsie Rolls, Smarties, Candy Corn, and Liquorish.

Mitch. I heard Mitch. Candy corn. Mitch gets a point. Fuck, I knew it was candy. Part two. The Wonderly Candy Company, which still sells candy corn to this day, now goes by what name? Jelly Belly, Mars Rigley, Mondalez International, or Haribo?

Can you say that again? The Wonderly Candy Company, which still sells candy corn to this day, now goes by what name. Jelly Belly, Mars Rigley, Mondolez International, and Herribo. Stop. Mondalee International. It is not Mandalay International. Fuck. Can you say the options again?

No, fuck you. He said it twice. All right, B. Mitch B. No, no one gets a point. It was jelly belly. Jelly belly. Okay. Mitch has a point. Stobbed.

You have to get on the board. Question number three. There's only two questions. I have to remind him. Part one, this brand of candy is prominently featured in Stephen Spielberg's 1982 film Eat. Stop.

Fuck. Reesies, pieces. That's right. Mitch gets another point. Part two. Spielberg originally wanted to feature a different candy, his personal favorite by the brand wish

to read the script first. Mitch, Eminemis. It is correct. I'm getting my ass fucked on this one. Okay, Mitch has three points. Next one.

Part one of this question. This question number five. Up and down 1990, this candy bar used to be called a marathon bar in the UK. Mars bar, Butterfinger,

Twix, or Snickers. I know the answer. No, don't fucking patronize me. Say the answer. Stop, Mars bar. It is not Mars bar. Oh, shit. That's what I thought the answer was.

Mitch C. No, it is not Twix and Snickers. I was surprised to learn this. Oh, Snickers. Snickers was called a marathon bar in the UK up until 1990. Oh, because the peanuts and shit. That makes sense. Part two, the name Snickers comes from...

That says marathon to you? Seems like a more a thing you do turn around. During a marathon. Yeah, that is fat logic. Yeah. Peanuts are basically. vegetables you have that when you run a marathon

Part two, the name Snickers came for the Mars family's favorite blank. Pet, racehorse, comic strip series, or TV show? Oh man, I have no idea. I stave pet. No, it's not pet. Mitch, racehorse?

Mitch, you are correct. You got it. That's bullshit. I'm really happy there was no E and it had something to do with, let's say, the other soup restaurant you guys were talking about. We do have a tiebreaker, which we don't need, but I'll read it anyway. Fuck you, Weiger.

You want to put all the beans on it? I'll do it. I'm a gambling, man. Winner takes all. Oh, wow. Fun-sized candy bars became popular in the U.S. during which time here. They're named after Mitch's dick. The Wager's like, that is correct.

The time periods in question, which period did these become popular during? 1910s, 1930s, 1950s, or 1970s. The fun size. Yeah. Stav. 60s. Not the 60s. Also, 60's not an option.

Okay. I'm trying to lose the game the most anyone's ever lost it. Not an answer. Not even an answer, brother. Mitch 70s? No. No, and this one, this actually makes sense, if you think about it, 1930s, the Depression era.

Yeah, they're rebranding a less product as fun size. That does make sense. Yeah, that does make sense. Mitch wins. Hey, just like a restaurant, I buy your feedback on some of the feedback. Today's email is from Matt B, aka Cheese Bergowski on the Doskord. Matt writes, I'm from Rochester, New York, home of such luminaries as Philip Seymour Hoffman and Mike Hanford.

Their local soup and sandwich spot offers a seasonal strawberry soup, which is exactly as disgusting as it sounds. Oh, my God. Hot strawberry ice cream with salt instead of sugar. Do you think there are any desserts or... That sounds nasty. I know. Sugar and I'm listening. Yeah, exactly. Any desserts or sweet treats that could translate to a soup or conversely,

any soups you would like to see get the salt and straw treatment. XOXO, the guy Gabris called the Alfa of the Loser Table at the DC Live show. I remember that guy. Oh, I remember that guy. Yeah, you were there, yeah. I was there, yeah. That, this is also Rochester has the garbage plate. That's right.

way more. Which I've never had. Oh, yeah. Stop. Have you ever had a garbage plate? Nah, I mean, it doesn't, doesn't look that appealing to me. It's a little slop. It is a little slop. They're not bad, you know, it's a whole good swap. What is it? It's like, like, like, uh, hash browns and fucking, like, what, I didn't even remember exactly. It's half, it's, either hash browns or French fries and Mac salad and then two cheeseburger patties on top of it and then chili on top of that, I think is what it is. That's too much for me. Yeah. I tap out there. I don't know why. I like a fucked up fried. I like a

fucked up fry-based dish, but it's the Mac salad, you're losing me. I don't want that at all. And then shit, yeah, I mean, I guess just give me chili cheese fries. Take the burger patties out. Yeah, that's a little too much for me, honestly. Sure, okay, yeah, that's fair. I mean, it's all, you know, Rochester doesn't have a lot besides Phillips Jimorhoffin and Hanford.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They kind of, they're, they're hanging on to anything they can. So, but I think a, some sort of churo soup would be fun. What do you think of that? That's interesting. I mean, I guess in this exercise, where you're making it savory, or just like it, like it's, because I mean, a churrely sort of, in a

slurry texture, I could see that being like a fun sort of like, I think chunks of bread and then kind of like a cinnamon. Oh, okay. You know, like, I was thinking of, um, there's like the butter, what is it called? Butter scotch, uh, Bedino at, at, um, at, uh,

what's the, what's the, what's the, uh, the pizza place. The pizza place. You know, you know, the pizza, the pizza, the famous, Pizza. Domino's. Moza. Moza has a butterscotch badino and I'm like thinking of like something like because that's close to soup.

It's a bodino. It's almost like a like a pudding kind of. And so it's sweet though, right? It's sweet. Yes. See, but this motherfucker's talking about putting salt. Because strawberry soup doesn't sound bad to me until he says it's salt. It's salt. Yes. The salt is the fucked up part. So it has to be hot soup. It has to be a hot soup.

Hot and savory I feel like is the spirit of the question. Fuck. That's hard. just warming up ice cream, I'll fucking eat that. I'll do any fucking warmed up ice cream you serve me. The thing that like Christian Bale does to gain weight where I'll like, that sounds pretty good. Yeah, I'll do that for a little snack.

This isn't, I mean, I know this is an oversimplification of what Mollay is, which is, you know, Wohawk in sauce with a whole bunch of different ingredients. But now you're, now your head is in the right spot. When I would talk to like chocolate and peanuts that are like savory, you know. I was going to say peanut, something peanut buttery because I feel like pad Thai uses peanut in a savory way. I feel like you could fit.

figure out a peanut-based soup that's savory that's pretty good. How about a hot snicker? That sounds like if you have the hot snicker, if you had like a soup that was like chocolate-based soup and there's peanuts in there and then I don't know what else. I don't know. What's the flavor profile though? That's that I don't know. I like that too. But again, I just like the, I like the sweet version of it. Yeah, I'd rather know that. When you're talking about making it savory, I'm, I'm having a hard time. But yes, I think some, a dark chocolate and a peanut is maybe the way to go. Yeah. I have had like some, you know, and I like

vanilla as a flavor, it's not plain, but I've had like a vanilla risotto before. It's like, oh, this kind of works. This adds, like, you do, it's a little bit of a different context for it. Well, in some way, we're talking about the cream of crab soup. It kind if you take the crab out, it's kind of like a cream and sherry.

It's kind of, it actually weirdly is sort of, has a dessert-y kind of rich flavor profile. So maybe that's the flip side. Cream of crab ice cream. If you take the crab out, it's like a cream sherry. I'm kind of listening to that.

Yeah, yeah. That fits, that fits to me. I'm wondering if there's any one-to-one that you could do with a dessert to make it. Well, I think, like, if you, like, I think you could have a yummy, if it was, like, a good-quality produce. I think you'd have, like, a yummy, like, tomato sorbet or tomato ice cream. If you figured out how to sweeten that just right, I think that could be interesting. It would be interesting. I don't know how often I'd want it, but that is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, like, again, if we're thinking of, like, the weird, like, salt and straw flavors or whatever, if they had, like, a gazpacho ice cream. They just, they just do that. Yeah, I could see that maybe working. Is there, like, a tart fruit, like a berry that could become a soup? Oh, yeah.

Like, is there something, or maybe, like, grapefruit, you know, it's kind of sour. Like a raspberry, maybe. Yeah, maybe a raspberry. Yeah. Or, like, I know red bean soup is a thing, but red beans also used in a lot of desserts. Oh, yeah. Korean buns will have, like, yeah. I bet you're a bean, a bean, a bean, a bean,

Ice cream could work. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? The question was too hard. That's what I was going to say. My note is too hard. Fuck this guy.

And by the way, you went from Rochester to see the doughboys in D.C., you fucking loser? How about that? That's a fucking long trip. What the fuck is wrong with you? And he's the alpha of our listeners. You're the alpha God. You know what?

We're stripping you of alpha categorization. You traveled too far for a live podcast. You should. I didn't go see the doughboys in D.C. from Northern Virginia. If you live in the city, that's fine. Our alphas, the version of 28 years later of our alphas, I can't, like, you know, like, I just can't picture. I'm saying the hogs on our guys. He's got Harvey Weinstein's dig.

A zombie that has to inject himself. If you have a question or comment about the world. I need that injector, by the way. I'm going to open up, fucking open up Harvey. Oh, he's alive. Yeah, yeah. No, I, I've always dreamed of the Reebok pump on one of your nuts to make your dick hard. You're just like, your dick gets hard. Because I heard about an old, before dick pills, the people really did used to do that.

They did, yeah, you get a physical pump implanted. And there was like a German guy in Greece who was like just some dirtbag German tourist. And he would just like, I, one of my, like, my uncle was friends with him. And he would just, he told the story about how this guy would just get his dick hard by pumping his nuts. Oh, my God. And I honestly, sounds pretty cool. I remember... No, it's very cyberpunk.

I remember watching this... I remember watching... The girl almost just deflate, does the deflate button. There was a... I remember watching, like, some, like, you know, TLC or Discovery Channel or something. It was, like, one of those medical things. And it was, like, an old guy with his wife,

and they were going in because he had to get, like, his penis pump, his, like, thing that inflated his dick. so his dick could get hard, like replaced or updated or something like that. And part of what they showed in it in this documentary was him like holding hands with his wife and the surgeon saying a prayer before his surgery so that he can have his implant to fuck his wife. By the way, Nick was watching this as a child on Halloween night. That's what he was doing instead of going out. I got next year's costume sorted.

Email us at Feedback at birdfuck.com. Leave us the voicemail at 830-60-6-844. Our producers, Emma Erdbrink, our associate producers, Emilio Marino. Our video editor is Mike Dorfman. Thank you, Emma and Mike so much, are coming out. I thank you to Eldis for helping us out here. And pour one out for Casey Donahue.

Doe Boys apparelant merchandise available in partnership with Kinship Goods. Kinshipogoods.com slash Doe Boys and the Do Boys double-a-weekle bonus episode over at Patreon.com Slavros Alkias, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you so much for hosting us. It was ruled. That's such a generous act.

This is great. I'm trying to become the Do Boys rookie of the year. you know what was it when did I first do it it was like this summer whatever so in a calendar year I would like to establish from when I did it to that I'm just trying to become the rookie of the year and I would like a plaque for that don't pay me for you talk about pay me don't pay for this I would just like to to rig the doughboys rookie of the year voting and win that award I love this idea and you can do it going forward yeah I love it I think you're beating right now like Sussars, like, Kualik?

It's not tough competition. No, no. Certainly not. Certainly not. But yeah, guys, this was so fun. I love the show. If if you guys like the show, come see me, I'm doing a big stand-up tour. Elders

is also my tour manager. You can watch him. You could see him drink an afternoon or live. We're going all over the place. Go to stavi. I'm going to be in Boston in December. I'm We have, I think Memphis, we're still, that's still, and then we're going to, we're about to announce a fuck ton of dates, including like, I'm coming to Florida, Vermont, Buffalo, actually, Ohio, Kentucky.

I mean, I'm coming all over, you know, a bunch of, a bunch of Ohio dates, Atlanta. You could do that 9-11 tavern in, uh, in Buffalo for wings. Yeah. I'm, I'm excited to get some wings. You're going to be in Boston at the Wilbur, right? I'm going to be in Boston at the Wilbur. We got a big New York show coming. We have a lot of really, you know, really, really cool stuff. coming up. So Stavi.biz, please check it out and come see me, guys.

Wow, there you go. And see Bagonia. I mean, they don't need me, fucking Emma Stone and Jesse Plemichers movie. It feels stupid when I plug it. No one's caught, like, eight fucking losers are coming because of me. They're like, whoa, that's the guy from the podcast. The person that makes everyone else in the theater nervous will be there because of me.

But check out Bagonia. It's a really great movie. Can't wait to see it. Yeah, congrats buddy. And yeah, thanks guys. And yeah, Stavi's world. You'll be, if you like this episode, you'll be familiar with the background. Yeah, we didn't talk about how our, we have our dough boys signage up here.

Can you hold on to this if we come back? Absolutely, absolutely. We may check it to L.A. We may bring it out of it. Who knows where we're going to record at some point. They'll do it for this episode of Doe Boys and we know next time for the spoon by Mike Mitchell. I'm taking our while you're happy eating.

See ya. Also, I'm going to go use the UCLA method in your bathroom right now. Bye. What's up, everybody? And what's up everybody? I'm Beck Ben. And man, ooh, we got something to tell you. Oh, yeah, we definitely do. Yes, it's a brand new podcast on Headgum. That's right. And it's called What's our podcast? Yep. And that's because we don't have a single idea what our podcast he'd be about. Yeah, we don't. So we actually have guests come on and they tell us what they think our

podcast should be about and then we try it. Yep. Guests like Mark Merrin, Jack Black, Brunee Broskey, Caper Land, Bobby Moynihan. Make Stalter. And Tim Landon Axler, Joney McGrise, and Dender. And Dender. New episodes release every Wednesday. So subscribe to what's our podcast. On YouTube or any of your favorite podcast platforms. Yeah.

I'm going to go do it right now. That was a HeadGum podcast.