Doughboys - Dairy Queen 2 with Don’t Stop or We’ll Die

Episode Date: November 29, 2018

From the band Don't Stop Or We'll Die, Michael Cassady and Paul Rust join us to review a chain known for its frozen mixed treat: Dairy Queen. Plus, another edition of The Wiger Challenge.Check out their new album Dazzle Me, out now!Want more Doughboys? Check out our Patreon!: https://patreon.com/doughboysSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On December 7, 1941, Japanese forces launched a sneak attack on Pearl Harbor. The next day, December 8, the very same day FDR would deliver his fiery date that will live in infamy speech, the U.S. military commandeered office space in Walt Disney's Burbank, California studio, a key wartime mobilization on the critical front of propaganda. Disney would become America's chief producer of animated propaganda during World War II, crafting artful comedic and dramatic shorts on divergent themes like the strategic usefulness of aerial bombing, the importance of civilians paying income tax to fund the war treasury, and the horrors of Nazi indoctrination of German youth.

In one of the studio's most famous shorts, 1942's Der Führer's Face, Donald Duck imagined being a living cog in the Nazi war machine, a desperate, hungry existence where he was worked to insanity at a German artillery factory. The success of cartoon propaganda was replicated in peacetime during the post-war economic boom, and the 1950s saw the birth of the so-called Spokes Tune, existing cartoon characters licensed to lend their brands to consumer products. The Donald Duck, who was drafted to denigrate the Axis, was reassigned to be the Spokes Duck for orange juice, helping market liquid citrus to children.

In the 60s, the Neolithic animated Flintstones were used to market vitamins and pebbles variant cereals, as well as Winston cigarettes, and TV commercials that depicted Fred and Barney puffing away during smoke breaks at slate rock and gravel. In 1971, a beloved Midwest purveyor of hot eats and cool treats sought to expand its market share by attaching the cartoon star power of Dennis the Menace, a toe-headed slingshot toting scamp who good-naturedly pestered his cranky, retiree neighbor in his eponymous comic strip. Dennis would serve as the frozen sweets purveyor's Spokes Tune for over three decades, elevating the chain during some of its most critical waves of expansion, including in 1985 when

it introduced its enduringly popular signature dessert, the mega-thick soft serve with mix-ins goodie called the Blizzard. But in 2002, shortly after another generation-defining sneak attack on America, the chain severed ties with a mischievous youth, as Dennis the Menace's aw-shucks shtick had grown corny in comparison to potty-mouthed hikes like Family Guy's Stewie Griffin in South Park's Eric Cartman. Still today, Dennis the Menace continues in syndication in over 1,000 newspapers, and his former corporate partner thrives with nearly 7,000 treat centers, braziers, and

grill-and-chill fast-food restaurants across the globe. This week on Doughboys, we return to Dairy Queen. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, alongside my co-host, Chud Apatow, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell. Okay, Chud? Yeah, cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers. Yeah, I know, I know, I know what it means. Yeah, I watched it for the first time this last year.

How is it? I've never seen it. I just know the acronym. I was rooting for the Chuds. Of course you would, you sick fuck. I liked it. It's like a, it's known to be, it's like a very B movie, but it's on. Right.

Yeah, they live in the sewers. They come up and do an apartment at one point. People die. So they're kind of like, it's, it's kind of like a grittier grimey or ghoulies. It could be, it could be, it's close to the ghoulies verse, I'd say, except ghoulies are kind of fun. That's the idea. That's what I meant by, I guess, by grittier is like a, like, I feel like the Chuds are

more threatening. They're more like a zombie, whereas the ghoulies are more like a gremlin. Ghoulies are so strange because like the gremlins are fun and they're having fun. And then like in the ghoulies movies, they go into a room where ghoulies are and they're like sitting there and like looking at them. Right. They really do much. They're just kind of, they're just kind of hanging out.

It's very weird. I think our guests can speak to this. We'll, we'll, we'll, we'll revisit this in a second, I guess. It could have been production limitations. Like they were just hard to pop it, you know, so they're like, they're just like, okay, we can just sit these ghoulies still and just have them on camera. But like we'll save the big stunts for when we can afford to have multiple puppeteers on set.

Well, then there's a giant ghoulie. Don't forget that eats little ghoulies. Yeah. I'm looking at him right now. Do you think that I'm the giant ghoulie that they summoned to eat the little ghoulies? I mean, at least his body double, I probably did his mo cap, I wasn't alive. I mean, I was alive, but I wasn't old enough when the ghoulies was in theaters

like you and two years older than you taking woman who were never seen again out to the movie theater to see the ghoulies. All right. Anyway, how do you know to Spoon Nation? Here's a little drop. And Mitch, this was a new rule. New rule. Get what you want.

Don't let anyone tell you what to order. Don't mar. Also, we do small plates. Do you know what tapas is? Yeah, I know what. Explain what tapas are for 15 years. New rule. Don't tell me what tapas are.

I was a page on the Bill Maher show on on and I'll say this. Yeah. Do you know in the beginning, like for the longest time with on real time, they show this thing where I come out with a cookie on my penis. Mama Mia. Mario kind of came out of nowhere at the end there. Yeah, he really did. Yeah, that was from Byron Nelson. Here's a good one.

I promise I promise. Here's a good one. I promise you lied. Much love to the two boys. You guys make my days at work a lot less shitty. Burger Brigade forever. Oh, that's nice. Byron Twitter at forever.

Sleepy B. Hey, Mitch. And while we're while we're a shouting out listeners, Chud Apatow came courtesy of Scott Murphy. If you have an insult you like me use on on the show. Rose Spoonman at gmail.com is the address. Scott writes, Wiger, I hope your MacBook Pro is performing properly since you spilled it on since you spilled on it during the live

pinks episode, parenthetical. I was the guy who gave you my napkins to clean it up. Thank you, Scott. I remember that I remember an audience member being on top of it and handing me some napkins from the audience of the Hollywood improv. So thank his last napkins. What a wow, that guy is a true hero. Also, I want to say this for everyone listening, Nick, over the course

of me just recording this show at at the at our my apartment here. Right. You spilled liquid on your laptop like at least 10 times. I think Emma and you saw can back this up at 10 times. Yeah, I spilled, I think, at our last record. You know what, Mitch? I went, I went, I was, it's my, it was my last day of work at this job. And so like as a fun thing, we went bowling.

I spilled at the bowling alley. Why are you spilling everywhere? I don't know. You, that's what little children do. Yeah, I don't know. I got like a low grade tremor. I just, I end up spilling things. It's your trigger finger.

Mitch, let's introduce our guests. He wants to shoot people. He's yeah, yeah. You didn't have to hold our hand. We got it. We can put those together on our own. Our guests are actors, comedians and musicians. Their new album, Dazzle Me, is available November 22nd.

Please welcome Michael Daniel Cassidy and Paul Rust, a.k.a. Don't Stop or We'll Die. Hi, guys. Oh, hey, guys. How's it going? Thank you for being here. Thank you for having us. It's an honor as always.

It is an honor. Thank you very much. We really appreciate you bowing deeply to you now. Now, Weigur, you said November 22nd, it's the 27th, but I feel responsible for it because when I told you the 27th, I started making JFK jokes about the 22nd. And I feel like I am the responsible party. I should take it again.

No, that's my fault. No, you fucked up so bad. I was thinking of the limited Stephen King mini series. Yeah, it was fixated on 11, 22, 63. I just couldn't get it out of my brain. I apologize. November 27th, your new album is in stores. Well, I hope my first impression is in a correcty Carl.

Yeah, I don't want to be an old correcty Carl either. So let's forget that too. That I even said that. No, that's an important detail to note. You were thinking of the 11, 22, 63. That's the on the end of it. Oh, it's who they go through a beat curtain time traveling. They try and travel through a beat curtain.

There's it's it's sci-fi for the same. Yeah, for to get to JFK. For the same reason I was referencing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they save JFK in it? They do. Yeah, they saved JFK. And also they cross over with the Quantum Leap JFK episode,

which is weird. It's got calculus there. Yeah, that that cliffhanger over the summer where we know what he was going to do in that body. Yeah, I never was not very satisfying what he did do. No, well, I was a big quantum leap fan, but I never saw that episode. So do tell it ended up that he so he didn't save JFK, but he did, but it turned out he was the whole thing he was trying to save thing

was he was saving Jackie Oh, right? Yeah. Yeah. So he saved Jackie Oh, like she would have died too. Yeah. Oh, so that ended up being the the way we know history was altered by the Quantum Leap. Did you did you read this or did you?

Oh, this is the Quantum Leap one. Yeah. Okay. Is that a happy ending? I guess so. Like in a way, it's kind of like if Jackie had died that day would have their kids would have been orphaned, but she wouldn't have had to like you. I'm sure she had a fulfilling life after that, but I mean, I'm sure it's a huge

presumption to be like right history was better off by having both of them. I guess it's not. Yeah, it's true. One life is better than no life. If I get shot to death, you better shoot my wife while you're at it. Yeah, I don't want her surviving. There's no way she can survive without me anyway. She'd be lost.

You know, the more we talk about it, maybe we should have released the album on 11 22. Yeah. Just so that we can kind of truly have the scent of that on it. It would have been the 55th anniversary. Yeah. Of, uh, well, the assassination of a great man, and that was the original joke that I made right before the show.

Sorry. I said, guys, it comes up five days after the anniversary of a loss of a great man. Yeah. Too bad you didn't have that closet. You could release it on 11 22 63. Oh yeah. If we had that bead, the bead closet.

Yeah, the bead doorway. Yeah. If only God, what we wouldn't give, they should sell those. So we should start selling those doorways. You know what joke I thought of while we were all talking? No, I don't. Please tell me while you were just patiently waiting for your turn to do a guess.

What is it? Uh, Bram Stoker, Bram Stoker's Bakula. Okay, that's good. Wait, like Bram Scott Scotters. Yeah, I get it. So instead of Bram Stoker's Dracula, it's Bram Stoker's back and Scott Bakula is maybe he just takes over as Dracula. Maybe you don't like it.

I'm glad you said it. I'm glad you thought it up and I'm glad you waited and then and then you said it. Oh, what? It's not smart enough for you, Iger. It's it's right at my level. I want to be in the informant. I want to be in necessary roughness. I always get confused with necessary roughness if it's unnecessary rough, but

well, that's the call. That's the call is so the twist on it is the necessary and the football war a cowboy had. If I remember correctly shades, I saw that in theaters and I thought that movie rule my friend and I went with my friend. It is mob took us and we went to the mall. We saw it and then we walked. It wasn't like one of those things where you go to the mall first in the

movies, it was like the movie first in the mall. So we went to the movie first that we got out. We walked around the mall and I remember I had to keep eventually I had to tell myself stop talking about necessary roughness because on three different occasions as we walked around, I was like, that was just a really good movie. But I think like sports, so I remember going like pull it back. Paul, right? Yeah, you know what it kind of is?

It's kind of like a it's kind of like a major league for kids. Like it's like a little bit more like another major league isn't for kids, but it's like a little bit accessible. It's a little bit less dirty, but it's also got like, you know, Kathy Ireland is on the team and she takes a shower with the guys and you get to see her like with steam covering her boobs. That's totally what it is. And they're both made by Paramount.

It's very easy that somebody was like major league. Actually, we realize a 10 year old's really like it. Can we just start making it for and then look at the sequels of major league? They were PG 13. That's true. They never kept up the launch level that we were that they gave us. All I have to say after I'm tired of this nickel and damn stuff. All I have to say is that a goddamn that steam, huh?

What steam? Yeah, that's covered up. Yeah, that's covered up. Kathy Ireland's boobs. The damn steam do you think that that was an accident, a flub on the day? Yeah, that was a shot. They were intending to show it to you and they're like only a word for that. If you look at the IMDB goof section, it says that this was a goof that steam

accidentally covered up the nudity and that one was the pipe accidentally broke. And yeah, I read that to an IMDB and it said that like it actually caused like serious damage and like half of Kathy Ireland's thigh was melted and it stalled her career. Or it ended her career. It ended her career because she was in her career in the movie because she was the kicker. And then after that she couldn't kick field goals anymore. Right. So they had to like rewrite the ending.

It was a whole lot. I also think sports movies when you're young also really tap because I saw Mighty Ducks one and two in the theater and I'm not just saying this because we're talking about it now. Somebody asked me like what was the most like exhilarating movie going experience you've ever had? It would have been Mighty Ducks 2. People were chanting in the theater like jumping up and down in seats, running up and down the aisles, screaming. And then like a year or two ago, I listened to an interview with Tarantino and they were like would you ever make a kids movie? And he's like you know I thought about it because when we were editing Pulp Fiction,

the one editing Bay Over they were doing Mighty Ducks 2. Yeah. And they were telling us about the test screenings and how they're insane because kids just like lose their shit for an hour and a half and especially in the last like 15 minutes it was like oh that'd be cool to be able to make a movie for kids that like blows their minds. That's so awesome. Yeah. So yeah guys what were your did you did you love the Sandlot? Was it the lucky of the year for you?

I have a story that I think I think Nick I think I've told it on here before but I'll do it again quickly is that it was my friend Dan's birthday and we his dad took us all to the movies and everyone wanted to go see Hotshot Bart do and but I wanted to see the Super Mario Brothers movie. Oh no so me his dad and his little brother Chris all went and saw Super Mario Brothers movie and everyone else in the older cousin went and saw Hotshot Spart do did he go with you to like because you need an adult to accompany you. No no he went because his son Chris wanted to go to the Super Mario movie so I went with like a dad and the baby but dad dad and the baby they went with you because it was like

it was they were like yeah okay you can come with us I guess it's kind of a sad thing and then they watched Hotshot Spart do and they came into the Mario movie and they were like how was I was like you guys miss like one of the best movies so just lying to yourself. Hotshot Spart do is funny and it was great so it's like I would have loved I know I was I fucked I fucked up really bad I want to go back to steam for a second sure of course yeah steam should be used to thwart bad guys and movies still it's not used as much anymore when's the last time there was a steam gag I feel like I saw steam oh you know I'm thinking this isn't the most recent one but I'm thinking of the scene in an empire strikes back when

Vader gets a face full of steam and he delays for a second isn't there steam isn't there a steam thing in Batman Returns see that sounds right that sounds familiar uh I don't know where some of Danny DeVito's black spit and violence gets blown blown off by steam I recently this week I watched Die Hard which I know you're a fan of the original Die Hard and then Die Hard 2 and there's some steam work in that movie there's some steam yeah yeah they definitely some guys get some steams steam has gone away though steam of course also to a critical character in one of the earliest cinema uh the train coming at the screen you love the original villain of cinema he was pursuing our hero the train Nick how scared were you when you saw that movie

Cassidy you're any any childhood movie memories while we're going down this memory hole um I remember I mean this isn't a sports memory I forget what movie I was sneaking out of but I snuck into the Fisher King and I scared myself what was what sports movie would that have been um we don't maybe necessary roughness honestly that would be awesome if it was fall of 91 um the uh did you guys ever sneak we used to do like sneak popcorn into our theater it was we should have just bought popcorn but we would like home popcorn we would make like popcorn it by the garbage bag full and then like set it by the door and like go out and get it like looking back it was not funny and we shouldn't have done it we should have bought popcorn right was it done for like a

economic concerns or rascal concerns rascals yeah we were rascals my friend frail bot when we went and so I've I think I've also said this but we went and saw jason x yeah and um he said to the the guy at the the he said to the like attendant at the door he was like I forgot my cell phone in the car which you shouldn't go and get yourself earned during a movie and he left and he came back with a 30 pack of beers under his coat that's a good move i think it under his coat but he left like he left wall jase like during jason during during the movie so he like missed 20 minutes of jason x yeah i don't think he cared he'd been totally lost do you guys were this was like this isn't a childhood story this was like recent like semi recently like 10 years ago really years ago yeah it was early

we were in either high school or college okay yeah it's a cool move though much like jason you're in suspended animation for that time period between i was probably nervous if i had to guess yeah we had run out of this makes me seem shitty i remember another not literally yeah all right thank god that's a relief i remember sneaking into south park the movie because i wasn't officially old enough to go in and see it much like the main characters yeah and it was and it was great and that was that was one of that was one of the movies were like it was like what you saw on screen was kind of reflecting what was happening in the audience like people were like getting people were getting offended and leaving and other people were like cracking up i heard it was designed that way

that the people the exact minutes that the minute people start walking out of the movie in the south park movie it's supposed to be at the same time that people were in three theaters i just was listening to the commentary they were saying that that was like the case that's so awesome yeah but also bitch yeah when you were watching that where you're like is this a silver screen or a mirror or did somebody the audience yell that someone in the audience did you all in unison sure you probably yell that we all in unison yelled that and i would go on to work at that movie theater it's true what let's get the work that a movie yeah i would find loose beer bottles and stuff that would roll to the bottom of the the theater and stuff when you were there you say loose change

the 9 11 documentary you would find copies of after the theater would shut down technically rare quotes i would bring in some people and show them loose change i would project it you know that's my time you're doing a service you're doing a service of the community yeah i wanted to educate some of the family members right to let them know to help them get closure to let them know other family members die i think that was there a hero um i had a friend i never i know a zero like the guy before the mask because he was a zero he was a hero yeah yeah yeah i mean that's this is whole arc and then eventually i mean it's like it's it's like with buddy professor he learns that he doesn't need the the magic like the magic was with him and

in him all he wasn't isn't from zero to hero is that on the masks poster yeah is it really a hero that is that's like a bit of trivia i feel i wonder how many people in the world i wonder if jim carrey knows that himself i wonder if you go to the i m db page and you look at the trivia and it's and it says what like what the tagline for the movie is i wonder what how many people out of how many people liked that i'm going to guess 17 out of 22 people liked that that was the tagline well and it's not even the full thing they should have gone from zero to hero to dog p hero right remember when the dog gets the basket right an animated piss comes out of that dog's dick they should have said that remember when you sat next to your parents and

watched a dog dick right piss over you probably didn't notice you're like hey that's my classmate kemron deos yes former alum of a fellow alum of long beach polytechnic high school years before me i was just yes i was just going to say you know you know one of the one of the uh you're just going to do that no it wasn't me you said this i was just going to say and then you started to say a sentence and then you farted i did not fart the the fart come out of my mouth nick these aren't coming out of my mouth all right well my breath so are you talking and it made the sound at the same time there's no farts coming out of my mouth mitch grow up i wanted to say one of the victims of all right that was you one of one of the one

of the victims of the internet turning bad is that they took away the imdb message boards which i thought were cool because you could talk about like if it was like a random actor in a movie you'd be like that guy was pretty good in that movie and a bunch of people would talk about it it was sort of a precursor to uh a reddit somewhere yeah well i guess all message boards in some way right i think they turned kind of toxic and that's the reason that he got rid of them so i think that's true yeah yeah there was like a semester so in college where i got really into the imdb message boards and i would go in and state things as fact and uh and i remember that oh it will soon be the big bouts yes no it's like a j based on

an elmore lenard um novel and it's like he's in hawaii or something i'm gonna look it up to see of the the poster he's a detective in paradise big bounce the big bounce and uh my friend uh adam and i who literally guys lives in your backyard wow that's crazy that's crazy in iowa city we'd sit at a computer and we would say um saw the big bounce last night liked it up until the very end when oh it wasn't the character i devoured a big ball bounced around just the dumbest level of trolling and then people would respond like that would not happen like people who hadn't seen it yeah um but we did come across somebody was like hey this is this um celebrity's email and uh and then somebody was like that email doesn't work it's it's uh

it didn't exist it didn't even exist and my friend adam and i were like wait a minute why wouldn't that person just gone hey if it nobody's taking it yet i'll just take that person's email and pretend i'm goldie haunt or whatever and then get goldie haunts fans weird things so that's what we did wow i'm not going to name the actress but we went onto her white i amdv message board and said hey if you're a fan this is her email and then we sat back and waited and just got the most insane emails in this inbox from crazy crazy fans just like soliciting like like marriage solicitations like people asking for feat pics like that sort of shit it would be like um okay if this is so-and-so's mom let me just say i think we got off on the

wrong foot last time okay so there's history yeah right and then there's like partly the worry of like am i going to trigger some like john hinkley type that i'll have to have these this blood on that you didn't reply to an email and that led to yeah yeah uh goldie haunt was shot and killed yeah someone was trying to impress president clinton and i liked it no they they thought they said it's a golden fawn and some deer hunter was like great it's my favorite to kill they're like no sir no sir goldie haunt not golden fawn and then he went i don't fucking care wow damn this guy's awesome yeah he's very cool yeah i like him i opened up fan mail for bob bacher in his last year well last year working on the prices right

yeah um that sounded ominous um and um yeah it sounded like you were just like going going through his last year um he's still alive but i uh wow that's the sound he's making right now he's having a good time there was a lot of weird stuff that would come through there too i wore gloves every time i open up and uh you're afraid of poison there was uh yeah i'm afraid of poison in general but uh i'm not wearing gloves right now maybe i'll put them on um yeah and you're currently opening drew carry's mail you should take some precautions yeah it's just powder falling out of envelopes people would send naked photos of themselves to barker male male and female uh yeah yep and with this and you know that i put him in my pockets and ran out of there

yeah you dirty boy you dirty kinky boy like polaroids or like developed photos both i guess yeah that's so crazy that i did nick do you want do you want to i'm gonna track some down yeah get let me in on that stash the barker stash let me see a vintage photo from 2003 of someone horny for an 80 year old man 70s digital camera printed off a printer picture yeah yeah i'm like a dot matrix printer um uh guys i want to end on that image like that's what this first 20 minutes was ultimately gonna culminate in what we were ability to we knew it had like that laser jet printed photo of a guy lonely looking for connection with bob was i right yeah i was right you're right um i wouldn't ask you guys a little bit about a

a little bit about iowa your shared your shared home state and about the uh the you know i i know a little bit about the i've never been there but i know it obviously has some reputation as an agricultural state but i was curious about what would the what the food was like there what what it was like growing up as iowans um what sort of cuisine you were in taking is iowa known for a corn yes that makes corn yeah we make a lot of corn and soy beans everybody listening to this that's from iowa just did that in their car is that is that a is that an iowa thing yeah yes it is it definitely is totally yeah and now watch it grow much like soy beans no uh we uh oh and just to mike and i we met uh at iowa in college and then we found out later we were just

a stone's throw away from each other to some we lived in the same district uh yeah yeah district nine bring me the arm yeah where did you get that so i grew up in limoires might grew up in fort dodge how far away are those two uh i think a hundred thousand miles so that's pretty far yeah that's like the distance from the earth to the moon oh yeah it's probably it's probably less than a hundred thousand okay it's it's not far but we were like i bet we we didn't know each other until college which was in iowa city but we i'm we surely were at the same speech competitions and right whatever that's it in high did you guys know i once traveled up to the moon and back and up to the moon and around and around and back to earth once really yeah first time i kissed my wife

felt that way it felt that way i know leslie and i feel like she'd be mad if she was here i thought you were spinning a uh a a sereno de bergerac style a tall tail and then i found you were just being doing a sereno de bergerac style a romantic gesture that's right either of them as long as it's serenically large nose but i interrupted you mike i'm sorry you were saying that uh when when i started uh talking uh did you well you were saying that we lived uh oh my yes uh stone's throw i what was the food like there is the kind of like i mean it was definitely like an agricultural estate i was we weren't like farm we weren't farm types yeah you weren't farm folk but i mean like like is it my family was and like i yeah yeah in the summertime you'd

get really great sweet corn like you could drive down the street and there would be a vendor with a yeah cart full of a great sweet corn and you cook it up and eat it on the car off the car yeah pork chops are kind of like pork chops okay pork chops they're uh fast food wise i mean i i don't know there's a like a lot of things that they are there that aren't here i guess that's hardy's and that carl's junior right hardy's we had a lot more like um taco johns was a very prevalent yeah restaurants grew up with but tell me about taco johns because i've never been there and i i'm curious is how the the what was the one we went to in portland mitch what was the taco restaurant and i forget taco something and that was just like gyms it was like it was it was like a taco

gyms and it wasn't that it was but it was uh we could so easily just google this right now yeah we could we could look it up but um it's a but that to me was just like oh that's just this is just a worst taco bellardel taco but what what is taco johns exactly well taco johns is tex mex okay uh-huh i think that's the taco and then the john is sort of like the the suggestion of that in my mind i'm remembering it as a little closer to del taco than taco bell yeah because i feel like the sides were potatoes you get like tater tots or something close to they called them potato alays but yeah right they were actually more like the hash rounds that that hardy's had right the potato olay a little little coin got hash brown coins yes exactly and uh they had they had this deal

that was called uh the six pack and a pound and i met you got six uh a soft shell or hard shell tacos with a pound of potato alays and uh i told my sister went off to college and that she came back and they're like they're doing six pack and a pound she was like what why would they it's like it sounds like six pack of beer and a pound of coke a pound of weed or something like it's such a weird like right those to use that terminology yeah such a weird breakdown yeah um but i loved it and when i go back home that's the first thing i eat oh interesting oh wow myself to a taco john's too sweet what about you mike what's it sweet when you land when you go back to iowa where do you you know make a beeline to

to the honey tree of course i go there's a place in my hometown for dodge that's called taco tico and there's like four of these i'm surprised by the taco talk on the in iowa yeah west there's a lot of there's a lot of there's a lot of mexican food there even like a tiny town right i feel like if you go to a place that's like just like a one stop light town right and they had one restaurant i would believe that there are places where there's a mexican restaurant everything's also uh uh one stop light one restaurant to texas tino i was trying to do a one headlight by uh oh oh that's what you were doing jacob dilling i fucked it up i thought you were i thought you were riffing out a song from scratch yeah we're not music we can't do musical yeah we can't we're

not two three four when the girl gets stuff and the tough guy going and you get a little gabby dd then you keep on going and you can't stop going then you're going where you can't be and then you go to taco john's and then you go to taco john's end of song that's thank you for ending it like appropriately like all songs a man comes on and about this you know people forget to do that lately i feel like peak songs aren't doing that anymore i feel like most songs on the radio i get so frustrated because no one says end of song yeah and i'm just like you want that you want that between every song on the radio i'm just like is this the same song or is this a new song it sounds different but i don't know i didn't get a clue you're not listening to music nick doesn't

nick doesn't listen to music on his drives yeah i'm i either i either contemplate or i listen to my internal monologue you know boy what's get can you just like tap us into that monologue for just a second real quick they all will pay each one of them will pay that's not no like or no it's like uh but that is funny but anyway there's that's gonna be my book about dumb boys that ain't true but it is funny i have i have some corrections uh taco time is the name of the place we went to taco time and this isn't a correction but it add on my friend eddie kinkl from college a great guy lived in council bluffs i was a bluffs um we hate council sorry eddie sorry eddie eddie bluffs probably yeah you know they're all named bluffs um so taco time was the place

that he went to in portland that we went to in portland but you were saying go on what we're going to i just want to say taco john's john is a bathroom so i find it funny oh you think it's like you talk yeah you go to taco john's yeah you go to the then you have to go to the taco john anyone ever make any hilarious people make that joke like no bitch and i'm saying this is genuine his voice is possible i think that's really astute and i'm surprised nobody had said it it's honestly the smartest thing i've ever heard you say now he's twisted it i had to be a stinker about it well that's that's kind of me and mike's thing you'll notice that we have very distinct comic personalities that play off each other mike's guy who gets into the cookie jack

and i gotta paddle him with a rolling pin that i paint so another iowa eatery you were at taco tico oh yeah taco tico so there's like only a handful of these but it's the kind of place that i grew up eating this was like the mexican food that i grew up eating which is not good like taco john's is probably not like stacked up against like a mexican restaurant or something it's just like wow i mean i don't know yes uh but stacked up against taco bell i would love to do a side by side with taco john's and it's an interesting yeah taco tico was something that i grew up eating and it was something that everybody in foredudge enjoyed and craved and like people had like open houses when they graduated high school and it's like you know people have it catered and

by taco tico uh my sister's one of them it was awesome there's the one of the best part of i've ever been to but but anyone that you take from not foredudge there is like disgusted completely by it like they're kind of you take them there and they think it's like dog shit and right it's really bad a nice place to eat though in uh my hometown was the authentic mexican restaurant which uh our county always had at least one really great uh because i think iowa has um a large demographic of uh or a latino population okay and so um you have access to actually a good authentic mexican food so in addition to like the taco john's right right fast food stuff um is the is let me just ask one follow up on taco tico is the menu akin to taco john's it's also got like potatoes

and stuff or no it's actually more like just a taco place okay or just like straight mexican food without like i don't think you could get french fries there right and when i'm thinking of famous iowa things the thing that might have some national attention is that uh remember uh in the original run of rosanne she owned a loose meat sandwich yes uh so in iowa when she started dating and married tom arnold she noticed that in iowa people liked having loose meat sandwiches oh interesting so then they used that and then they started their own one in a tomah and a tomah where my where my grandmother lives did you ever go to the rosanne loose meat sandwich i never i used to it's called the canteen it's i have been there it's like one of these places that they've like it's they've preserved it

like it's a historic monument because there's a parking garage built over it it's like tucked underneath a parking garage now but you can go to the canteen and get loose meat sandwiches and they serve loose meat it's like a little horseshoe bar like a diner thing and then they serve the loose meat out of this thing in the middle with like a cement trowel they have like oh man scoop like loose meat into the sandwiches anyway yeah that's crazy i've been there and everybody there is just like darlene oh that's interesting yeah it's like very specific and they make you dress like like john so those are those of you know it's just darlene and john are represented uh the entire the conners nick yeah i know but not but not the entire conner family you want him to dress like

rosanne you piece of shit i'm just saying there are more options i don't know if this could happen but i think if we all said hey everybody watch the conners we might eventually get like a check for fifty thousand dollars that we all can split we've been saying it every episode of doe boys we've we've been doing ad reads to tell people to watch the we're there before the conners started before the conners started it was just rosanne we kind of anticipated that eventually they do some spin off and then we guess what the title would be yeah did you have some inside information we i mean here's the thing we knew that when rosanne went to iowa to set up that loose meat sandwich shop long gone that she uh that she also went to that movie theater you were working and

saw a screening of loose change and so meat loose change yeah the so the loose that that is what likes to set her down that conspiratorial rabbit horse oh and it all began there right right yeah do you see how did you watch the conners do you see how she died i haven't um she stepped on no that's crazy are you serious you're you have the smile but cheshire cat mr i don't know how she i was asking if any of you guys do how she dies you didn't stay did you die of you thought that i was being serious that she died of a landmine that would be a huge choice rich really got me with the hollywood side tweet oh that was a i felt like a real i shouldn't even bring this up because i was a big dummy rich tell everyone what you tweeted i tweeted out i i saw that the hollywood

side got struck by lightning and that it was glowing for 30 minutes after i say i believed this dot dot dot you read it out loud and then i said like it makes me think about how much i love living in this city it reminds me of what i love about this city which should have been your first clue that i was well i had i had two things when i read that to me i was like that was an extraordinary event that happened and wow it's just kind of being sincere like this is not like him the earth isn't being itself nor is a bitch and then i saw you later i was like so you saw that side oh what a dummy well i mean it's a sign of a bad job by me because everyone i mean i feel like half the people thought that it

really did happen but well i saw the hollywood side glow it's just on the far edge of of possibility like it's like it doesn't seem like a thing that would happen but then it seemed like like hearing someone describe it you're not like that's what the fucking come on like it doesn't sound like complete bullshit it just sounds like like really that the sign was glowing i can kind of i like i mix my paid attorney like you look or even be like it's within the realm of possibility right it will be funny time when we're leaving here we look up and it is it is glowing yeah and it's part of some stunt yeah yeah some marketing stunt yeah yeah that is part that sign is part of a marketing stunt that's right yes see we were right right yeah you know i think they should

change it to holly weird that's a scandalous you mean that really you don't mean that no i i be i think that's be a better assessment of what this is you honestly be honest you can't honestly mean that i think they should take out the two o's between the w and the d and put in an e and i and an r three more letters yeah three more letters you you're such an asshole paul is standing up and walking away from the table i got to speak my shoes i think we're gonna go i think it should be holly weird well nick it's finally you know what saying it yeah it doesn't make it worse you can eat shit all right and uh you know what i guess we'll talk about whatever this fucking restaurant another time yeah well somebody can apologize nick about a town that is done so many beautiful

things for everyone we're gonna go to the sun we're gonna go to the hollywood yeah gonna go to the sign uh while you're there i'd do me a favor change the two o's to an e and i and an r we'll take a break we'll be back with more dough boys welcome back to dough boys we're here with don't stop or we'll die uh guys dairy queen is this week's chain uh it's we've we've discussed about it once in our in a live show with our buddy christine nangle but we just talked about the treat center we just talked about the cool treats uh so here we want to dig in a little bit delete that episode from our backlog yeah i'm deleting that episode i feel like it's the right thing to do i don't think it's necessary

guys so now what we have is two versus two so we're gonna figure this out let's do some push-up contests uh collectively we do like eight push-ups but you just did which um where did you go to the dairy queen the treat center i the treat center i went to was in the fox hills mall in culver city um so uh but i've been a dairy queen i've been to the braziers is that how you say it brazier yeah i think so no i saw like they call them grilling chills now they've they've been rebranded as this brazier makes no fucking sense to anyone it's a weird what is that weird weird word when they sell a blizzard i remember going as a kid and being like brazier blizzard right it was like oh interesting i didn't think about that i mean

because it's like delicatessen deli i don't know it's like brazier seems like a fancy they're trying to be fancy or something yeah it sounds it's like unwarranted fancy well when you said cool treats you know the we what we had all four of us yes cool treats hot eats hot eats as well yes so we wanted to dig in on both sides of that um but uh you guys uh i as iowans and you know like a dairy queen a midwest staple um what was what is your relationship with dairy queen growing up i had a love love relationship with dairy queen growing up it was definitely uh like after literally games kind of thing right initially uh and then a lot of the time oh hold on i just heard a memory i was turning yeah my old little league days it was a

bat hitting a ball was that sound okay that's that's what i was remembering is did you guys get that in your headphones too my memory yes i did and it was uh cool that was the next game i hit two at three i mean uh my memory is going guys that was the the crowd that was the coach breathing onto my neck but i feel like it was initially kind of like a post like you know kind of like a sometimes like a school like a or a sleepover would like go to get dairy queen as a part of it or there's right uh but there was oh i thought my phone was ringing but i guess schools out alice cooper schools out is what it was that ring alice cooper waking up in the morning yeah that's his alarm he wakes up to his own song he wakes up and says schools well honey

make me breakfast schools out yeah that's a great alice you heard the song honey it's me alice cooper gotta eat before i go to the laters game so yeah was there uh food at the dairy queens were around you guys we yeah we had hot i feel like it always had hot eats right there were two there were three dairy queens and for dodging only one of them was a just cold stuff you had three dairy queens yeah whoa is yeah how big is for dodge how many people i call the dairy um well how big was that town 30 000 people something like that yeah we're less than 10 000 they were all my friends you do the math one dairy queen for each 10 k yeah that's a that's a get it heads up that's a lot of dairy for a person that's a they did a good

job yeah uh yeah there were dairy queens in long beach and there were i i do remember they had the hot food there too and actually i like i love dairy queens hot food i was i but i hadn't returned to it in a in in a long time but paul you you as well like i'd like you know some nostalgia wrapped up in it yeah i ours went from a cold treats to a to a colt to a brazier to a hot eat brazier i remember they closed down don't say brazier i'm gonna get too horny oh i'm sorry i'm so sorry i didn't mean to say brazier i didn't mean to make you horny oh i'm thinking about yabbo's now so i uh i watched it go from like a shack that was just had ice cream right and then i remember it closed down it got bigger and then i was like what's happening and they're like but our family mainly

went for ice cream it was very rare that we would actually go for the for the the food the burgers that's what my deal was too like i don't i remember eating the food once in a while right yes it's and that's like that's i guess that's uh you know a place like this and fosters freezes is uh you know a similar concept um i feel like maybe most of there maybe 60 per 60 40 i'm just guessing the split of like people going there just for a cool treat versus people going there for a full meal uh but um let's let's did you see that joseph gordo levitt sequel 60 40 uh oh yeah the sequel to 50 50 was yeah where he has a better chance of living the stakes get a little lower yeah yeah it's probably why it wasn't as successful i think just like there's i think i was the only one who

saw it yeah that's right that was a movie that went like it went straight to video yeah and only and only and on the wikipedia says only one person saw yeah go one and your picture was on it on the wikipedia oh i hate that picture i hate that picture of me that shows that i watched on the way person watch 60 40 don't be embarrassed man you should be proud of that you should be proud of like supporting cinema i mean it's fortuitous that you captured that moment because you didn't know how it's significant apple tv i believe took your picture right yeah yeah they they spy on you if you have an apple tv know that they they spy on everybody spy on you including um tim what tim cookie i hope i'm pronouncing that name correctly the the guy who works at apple tim

tim cookie this is the worst joke in the fucking world so i like that people won't hear that i like good i thought it was good tim cookie like tim cookie do you realize what the bar is for joke quality on do boys this awful podcast it was bram stoker's bacula by the way hamford made this pumpkin for me for my birthday it just holding up on which is your own now and now i don't like the white socks it's for the red so well then why doesn't it say red socks yeah it's a little pumpkin that says go socks on it as those go socks a little mini pumpkin i wanted because i'm going to throw in the trash so i just wanted to uh oh i want to throw it for shift in the trash wait a pumpkin is going to go it's going to get moldy soon well eat it like an apple

the other nostalgic sort of stuff i had with dairy queen yeah you know i have two older sisters they both worked at dairy queen oh that's nice and i remember they uh hey we easy there what sorry i heard sisters who is that roger danger film roger danger film hey i do get respect sometimes and everyone's in a while so they brought home i remember like industrial videos like how to industry videos like that's awesome of how to make like get the queue on the you know on the ice cream there right i love those yeah so that was fun to watch and then um i remember my baby yeah it was a place to go after like little league and uh you know that oh god i hope i get it

scoop it's a boy fish it out fish it out fish it out i can't reach it ring ring school's out there's too much come uh baseball wait hold on i'm sorry my ken burns documentary turned on person i'm sorry they got louder than i was talking but you know that thing uh when you uh i don't even know if they still exist anymore but for drive-thrus they would have like a little like tube and then when the car drove over the tube it would like go beep beep it would make it was like a gas station thing in the kitchen like a ping ding yeah like a gas yes exactly and uh these kids on my team who i thought were cool were like

jumping on it and it was making the staff like turn and look and i came home my sister wasn't working that night and i came home and i was like oh my god you won't believe it they were jumping on the tube and the people inside thought oh it was a car my sister was like yeah so many people do that's not funny it's just annoying which she's right she's right the point of that story was she was right and your younger brother comes in and is like this thing that you see every day i saw it i saw i want i saw it now paul is it true that you haven't spoken to her because of that fight to this day we had a falling out oh boy we've been a strange six day and uh you know if she wants to apologize she can this is like when albert brooks was on wtf and they were like

what about super dave they're like i mean we don't talk much oh no in the case i love my sister we talk all the time yeah of course i love both my sisters we talk all the time yeah and i like super dave and i like super dave too when you know what super dave seems all right that joke's okay but don't do it as much maybe one jump was okay yeah those kids i mean i super dave no for dave super no more the more do the more jumps the better for super dave i was confused like maybe one jump is okay i don't know no more jumping on the bell the just one jump on the bell sorry i noticed you guys put one of those out in front of your apartment mitch those ding ding robs and uh you song made us jump on it a couple times yeah it's uh we didn't want to and he was like you guys should

jump on it a bunch yeah we said no thanks you said it was really funny we're gonna play by the rules okay oh i listened to your uh uh uh dope boys today really yeah i listened to the jack one today great episode guys oh thank you i really like you did it and i noticed you talked about the murder house and on my podcast and for he's we trust this week i talked about the murder oh man and then somebody online pointed out hey these two guys are separately talking about the murder house within the same day of each other podcast that's great that's some weird energy from the murder house which the the the murder happened in just a month so that's probably what it is you think the month i mean just because it's vaguely the general time of year that that's part of the

murder happened i mean it's a month away maybe it's oh within our minds it's just sort of unconscious coming up yeah that's what they needed don't stab me please you're my trusted father oh no the memories of the murder house are coming back please no no father no that's the perfect amount of calm that's baseball i'm going to drink this acid drink this acid that's what the guy did oh that's right you told me that detail insane it seems like something you would do nick uh what i looked over to weigur to see him be baffled or angered by that but i saw consideration yeah i don't know if i would i feel like that would be so here's the issue

because you remember when that guy uh that got that war criminal in like the polish war criminal yeah i don't know if he was i should i said polish i don't know if he was polish whatever his country of origin was yeah uh he uh that he was convicted and then he drank that poison immediately yeah and i was like i was like okay that's like that's a crazy thing to do and that's a crazy move and it's a crazy way to go out but for me i'm like i think i love beverages so much that i would not want my final beverage to be acid or poison like i would just like i was in your favorite what's your favorite beverage would you say oh uh isn't an acid yeah poison no i i mean like uh you know what i like water i like water you fucking but i would say this

but i would say if i want like a treat beverage i would like an iced tea or a cup of coffee or like a glass of red wine those are beverages that i like so if your last drink was iced tea yes with poison in it but you didn't taste the poison would you be okay with i think i'd be okay with that that actually seems like a pleasant way to go yeah i know as i described actually that sounds like a pleasant way to live make them just give me a little dab of poison in my food i want to know that i'm just clinging to life by a thread you can you can just like slowly over time like work poison into your system and then right and then you're invincible forever yeah that's what i did it's like a vaccine that's what my mom made me do when i was growing up it's like peanut

butter or bee stings you try to get stung by bees more as you grow up and they won't be allergic to them yeah you keep trying to get stung by bees to this day i saw you running after a be i saw you running after a be on your way in here i was chasing it to it's a to the honey tree as you know yes i want to go in the honey try very very typical bear behavior rating rating a bees layer for honey you i'm not an actual bear nick have you gotten your arm stuck in a tree looking for honey how many times today today two or three times i can't remember so dairy queen i'd been a while since i'd went to i'd gotten their hot food i do remember really

enjoying their burgers i drove down to the garden grove location oh we also went separately you guys took the trip to garden we took separate trips because of my work schedule i'd actually just gotten back from vegas where i ran the half marathons way to go weigur with our friend john gabris also completed the half marathons that's very cool i'm very very cool of them congrats to you um so uh so we just landed at long beach airport and we drove out to an old married couple was like you know i went ran a marathon and we're like cool mom and then at the very end congrats wish you kept running but i'm sorry so you went to uh we went straight from the the long beach

airport to uh the uh grill and chill in garden grove um i will say that this was a the the staff there and i'm curious about your guys it's a different shift but they were it was a very much it was like a teen movie like it was like this was like a movie about about burnout teens who work at a fast food restaurant that's what it felt like it felt like a an eclectic mix of like you know there was a guy there who we loved our staff our staff was great yeah us too us too i want that to make physically they like fit that like there was like a visual of like oh man this seems like a bunch of a bunch of people you know a bunch of teenagers don't like working here but actually we're did we were super nice and super company very very nice yeah did you get the name of the guy

who kind of took charge of everything no i think it was either was it erin i forget i thought it was jesse or something oh wait maybe i think it is jesse was this guy longer hair uh yeah we took blood hair we took like dozens of photos with him sort of a tall guy tall guy tall lanky guy yeah yeah lanky did yeah yeah but he was also very knowledgeable about and guided the order and like was kind of being a little more more hands on very long shot that i expected it was very nice for him it was a little like that sequence in fight club when ed norton's getting to places after brad tyler dirta was there yeah they're like the bartenders like you were just here like do you think that guy when we came in we were like ordering big amounts of food he was like

oh that wyger and gabris were just there there was already dough boys i realized this doesn't work because you are two separate people in that movie i like that nick and i like nick and i being the same person if we were a fight there was a fight and that guy yeah that at the dq was sort of like you were here just yesterday sir nick how would that feel i mean that'd be quite a twist if you if i was you and you were i who's id or who's like super version of themselves would be i guess you know what i think each of you would see each other as each other's hero okay i think that's true i think each of you like much like in a relationship you turn to each other for the for their strengths right uh yeah

and you're stronger because yeah you yeah you know it's true you don't want to ruin the mystery by talking about it but well and maybe that's good maybe that's part of the magic is they don't want to they don't want to talk about it but that symbiosis we're not going anywhere until both of you look each other in the eye and tell each other that you you love one another you love one another one thing that you admire about the other okay this is Thanksgiving season okay and that's how we're gonna do this mitch yes you are very committed to your look and wait a minute i like i admire how consistent you are like you just like you have like a wire not a good start all right i'll go yeah committed to your look nick you recently ran a marathon

half marathon half marathon and you completed it you didn't even say i love you doing that was like wait was that what you wanted us to do you say i love you i love you i think you admire about each other okay well we'll do this for real okay uh mitch i love you my heart first it's beautiful this vibe and i can't believe i got one of those before natalie i've said i love you to my wife oh i thought you meant from natalie to you i always assumed natalie would say i love you before nick would okay now on to the okay can yes and i would say i would say i something i admire about you is how effortlessly hilarious you are wow that's a biggie that's a biggie nick i love you that was great and it's just nice

true in nick a thing that i admire about you is that you keep everything together okay in a good way you you're you're elite you're a true leader oh he's a true leader yeah definitely that's very cool you guys that was very much that was very heartwarming and i i love you guys too yeah no you guys too this is only for us sorry sorry never mind we got out of that out you're pushing my head down onto the floor it's with my foot though it's with my foot it makes it okay well that was nice guys yeah hey nick yeah fuck you we got to loosen it up a little bad that was like at the end of a sitcom you know when they hug and they're like but dad next time stay out of the tree house yeah that was family batters possibly yeah i like i like i like a i'd like a fight club

ending where you cut you break into my apartment of palmish and it's and it's empty you know like i don't really live here and like american psycho kind of thing yeah i didn't like he never lived here yeah boy the uh the production design team on that movie would take like a week to clear out all the crap in your apartment that's a good reveal too of you come into it looks like a destroyed apartment yeah oh my god he did and then i walk out and i'm like what do you do you got rid all your stuff like a storage shed um so the the the staff was super nice super accommodating yeah the guy was like kind of like a almost like sommelier level just sort of like steering you through these branches really nice jessie or aron at the at the garden grove

don't think it was an erin i really i think it was jesse yeah because because we took we took the trip to garden grove it smelled like lewdog inside the van lewdog inside the van i don't get the lewdog we listen to garden grove by a sublime which i didn't know existed until we got the car that said you should put on garden grove we also listen to almost a full dave matthew's album on the way home i will say this let me let me ask you this but before we get before this did uh did mitch make you relisten to any sections because you missed a detail i'll say this he did will have give us plenty of fair warning about the sections he wanted us to hear this this is the end of our trip but we'll start with this because we're gonna get we will get to the food after this yeah we on

the on the way down we listen to garden grove by sublime because it was funny because they talk about taking the trip to garden grove and it's a funny song and then uh and then on the way back we were talking about bad dave matthew's songs and i told and i was reminding that i said i told these guys that every day was the worst like one of the worst dave matthew's albums and the song i did it is on there and so paul spotified i did it the worst dave matthew's album killed to as yes yeah and and castee turned it up pretty loud so that the so i could sit in it and we sat and we listened to the whole song and then i i said this is really bad and we listen to we listen to some of so right which is one of the better songs on the album and then i said we should listen to

before these crowded streets is my favorite album so then we put on two two two songs from before these crowded streets and they thought he has his head is and though and these two thought that at one point they just broke and said this sucks i wasn't forcing this it wasn't like i was forcing this on everybody i also said hopefully turn the shit off turn the shit off a dreaming tree which is a song i really i really really love also dave matthew's vineyard is dreaming tree is dreaming tree dick you like you like i think you've heard it you like dreaming tree i can't remember it but i can't yeah i can't be right and then repunzel the song repunzel came on because it went to the beginning oh it played spoon it played spoon with a lot of more set and then repunzel came on because

it just repeated again and paul said let me guess like repunzel come come through the window or whatever i said i bet it's repunzel let down your hair yes and then i said that is actually very accurate to what it is he says you let your hair down right on through the window that is that is close and then i said okay you guys might like this but put on crush because that's like a radio song that everyone liked and we put on crush and then they they said this sucks and they hated it and it was a it was a bad it was more fun when we were listening to songs that you thought were bad and then when we went to when we two we switched gears and you were like but this one is great then we were like oh wait i don't know though because you know what that was you know what it was

it was like the music version of like hustling yeah like a guy who's like bad at pool at first you're like yeah i'll take this guy on you were like hey what are you here some shitty severely yeah yeah like out of nowhere you're starting to do shots by your back seeking balls everywhere we're like wait a minute well guys i got a voicemail today hey how you doing it's me dave matthews i just want to say that i like don't stop it we'll buy i think they're a good band oh my god we're so sorry uh is uh we loved him we always love dmv can you edit the bad parts out that's uh that's amazing that you got a voicemail from marlon brando is the godfather it was dave matthews with cotton in his mouth i forgot that i recorded that until

we just started talking about it wait really yes so you there's so there's a chance you would have just done that for no reason just for yourself i did it about 10 minutes before everyone showed up because i remember we that about what happened that was good i'm so glad you remembered to play this thing that you really got from a real person also that it was supposed to be like a got you like we're like oh you like us but anyway so yeah listen to sublime on the way down oh paul i know i gotta say you you like the adam sandler movie what's the one we're in new york where he's the hair stylist oh don't mess with the zohan don't mess with the zohan dave matthews is in that movie i know i

this whole time i kept trying to find a way to make a joke about that it's really great in zohan serious he's like never heard all the way he's friends with like a seagull that like shows in the way that when he's swimming underwater that's really funny that's a very funny movie yeah there's a lot of fun i mean it's a michael joint man he's the best the guy dips his glasses and hummus is what's not to like about this movie i agree look no one no one here is messing with the zohan no we're not gonna do we wouldn't think of messing with just like i show sandler love i show dave matthews level oh that's nice wait is that the same though because dave oh yeah yeah yeah sticking up for dave that's nice you'd hope the chipmunks would stick up for dave not the same

dave yeah maybe a different dave those chipmunks oh they are sometimes i want to take one over over my knee here and i just want to spank alvin all night long you got to be careful though because they're little you can't spank them too hard you know what i would make simon and theodore hold alvin down you could spank him and i would spank that guy all night you know simon and theodore they're they're usually along for the ride i think it's alvin that's causing most of the trouble and alvin uh you know when i'll stop spanking you when you get hard okay that's the deal dave's like i'm gonna raise alvin right i'm gonna spank him till he gets hard

no spoilers for those of us who haven't seen the movie no spoil no spoilers that doesn't come up till chipwrecked though so i got the flamethrower burger this was a a half pound burger with their fiery flamethrower sauce which is kind of like a thin sort of i guess i think kind of kind of like a sriracha mayo although it was almost it was a little creamier than that i like sriracha may i you know it's kind of crazy that like by like the fourth chip monks movie albin's like dave look what i look at the mess i made living room dude and he's looking to get himself right spank me until i'm hard

spank me alvin not only you hard you creamed all over my you're supposed to just get hard not cream i didn't tell you you could cream they edited out that you will usually only hear the alvin part yeah it's weird do you think because i mean simon and theodore must have complicated feelings seeing alvin getting so much attention right yeah but it's also it's not like healthy it's like

they don't they don't want that probably how leason beggy feel about alvin yeah they probably they have probably how homer and march feel about alvin they're all friends we know they're all friends they are in the same universe right by the way i bet uh meggy haberman and lisa kudro kudro new york times white house reporter meggy haberman and the marcy x actress lisa kudro lisa kudro it's weird yeah they're in the same universe too yes they are they're on the same universe yeah those that they're in the universe the two mugs and the simpsons everybody knows this we're just rehashing old stuff everybody knows that so it's got the flamethrower sauce the melted it's got pepper jack cheese jalapeno bacon which i didn't to me just tasted like regular bacon um

and lettuce tomato and a bun i will say do you think of it i will say that the patty is like you know the patty in isolation is a low quality patty but it's a good burger this was the way it was composed the way it all came together i like their bacon cheeseburgers i like the bacon they have there i think they they throw on just enough toppings and they're just enough bun to uh to inflavor that burger uh where it's like a good fast a good hearty satisfying fast food burger the flamethrower sauce didn't do much for me it's like any spicy spicy food at a fast food restaurant there's just there's just i'm something of a heat seeker and there's just not much heat in these um but overall it was it was a high quality burger i probably would have just

liked a regular bacon cheeseburger i said i got it with combo with fries and ice tea one of my favorite beverages as i mentioned good ice tea even though it was poison no poison yeah it didn't have poison no acid no poison i said with hemlock you said it whoever had to hear that right now like these two voices coming driving with poison uh you're so uh go on go on and the the fries are fine i think they're i think dq's fries are fine the fries are fun yeah they're fun they're fun but they're they're they're not like they're they're very they're solid they're like right down the middle um they're they're they're a fast ball across a home plate um uh the honey you're having a bad dream go back to bed that's what he said for real he didn't kill any

of the kids dad is mom real she is no longer in the realm of the real the cheese curds are i i think they do you the cheese curds yeah they do a wall here you got cheese curds yeah i like their cheese curds why are you are you you're you're a man determined you're the only thing he was right you hold everything together um the uh you're the glue like much like phil hartman oh wow boy you know nothing makes me more like nothing makes me feel more inadequate than phil hartman's writing credit on the pewee movie it's just it's just sort of like man he was so great already and he also like wrote

the help to write the pewee pewee's big adventure yeah it's like that's so amazing what an amazing career you know i yeah to be able to and then he like was also an artist who designed uh album covers in the 70s and stuff he's so cool yeah what a cool dude very brilliant and uh the uh wait holy shit oh i was gonna say i was watching back to the future recently and in 1985 before um the woman comes up and shakes the coins in his face and says save the clock tower uh-huh there is a goldy wilson van like reelect goldy wilson and the voice that's coming out of the speakers now i know you got some true diehard fans here wow if you listen to it i'm a hundred percent sure it's phil hartman's that's crazy he's like uh reelect mayor of goldy wilson idea yeah that's

awesome yeah anyway that's cool i'll just add to his list of cool things man it's like how uh what's his name who's him who does the voice of mr burns oh my gosh why harry shearer harry shearer is like stormtroopers voice in in a new hope that's crazy yeah hey you know what we saw harry shearer at the dav bethius concert is that really you did yeah that's awesome i didn't you didn't tell me this yeah means uh me and uh was it carlson who was there with us cow pack is in hanford cow pack is in hanford i was conflating with the jimmy buffett concert i went to with our buddy my carlson are you sure you didn't see my jimmy buffett no it wasn't a jimmy buffett it was there it was a because remember me and hanford went on a side quest we went and got the uh we went and got

beverages for everybody and during that that's when we saw god it was a side of beverage i thought you two maniacs were going out on a side quest for ladies no we're not gonna side quest for you two live with women you're committed men in a relationship and you're going off on a disgusting thing you called the side quest this wasn't a hall pass situation i think it was exactly like it i know who was the wilson and who was the stray third yep that was the two actors so natalie was like nick you get one hall pass during the dave matthews band concert and it has to be with harry shearer and i'll know by the mustache burns if it was him anyway i asked if harry shearer if i could suck his dick while i did the mr

burns voice he said no hey how do you guys feel you gotta ask you regret not asking how do you guys feel now that flanders loves dave matthews band have you changed your mind on dave that's your character yes now i like is he really yeah man i love flander and then i found out flander he loves like a shorthand term for a character who they you take to the extreme of their it's it's like a jump the shark thing oh i didn't go like that character eventually got flandersed oh they like they took him too far yeah that like that you push it really and i was like yeah i don't think flanders ever got too extreme i don't think flanders got too extreme and there's been any other characters in television that who who were way worse yeah i'm just alone man yeah i

agree flanders alone leave flanders alone that's what dairy queen should change re retarget it's like yeah that should be their slogan well you know they they in my intro i talk about how they're they had a three decade long relationship with then it's the menace that he was there yes i remember there was there was a there was a dairy queen and quincy point and they were the sharpest part of quincy and uh there's uh i think the why would be uh i know that little edge on the cue yeah oh sometimes when i write a cue i go out i hurt my fucking finger oh i hurt my little fucking finger god i'm a little bitch i keep cutting my fucking finger get that fucking cue away from me i'm a little bitch who's getting cut by the

edge that does that happen to you it's an issue in quincy so so the sharpest part of quince that you went to a dairy queen i went there was a dairy queen in quincy point the blizzard cups there's there's the blizzard cups had denis the menace on i remember all the time yeah that was cool that was a cool face and i got some hot food there i think my memories of it were like chicken fingers right and fries which we'll get to our order a second but spoiler alert we got a chicken finger basket let me just talk to the cut the cheese courage real quick and then i'll let you guys get your thoughts on your hot food and then we'll talk

about cool treats yeah the the so i thought like you know on par with what i think is the gold standard for chain restaurant curds which is the buffalo wild wings curds they do a good curd there you know they they were well fried i will say that the the pieces that were a little bit more um uh there was a better cheese ratio on the ones that were they had like some long boys and they had some like little nubs and i'd say the nubs were a little too bready but the long boys had like a great like proportion of cheese they were almost like half mozzarella sticks they were delightful and i like cheese curds over mozzarella sticks because i think the breading is like i like they're not as breaded they're just they just it's more just like a texture

rather than a bunch of crumbs you're getting but what were your guys hot eats i can go over this we got ourselves the chicken strip basket which we got a six piece uh chicken strip which comes with six pieces of uh of chicken tenders chicken strips with crispy fries texas toast and your choice of dipping sauces we got and one of the choices for dipping sauces nick you'll love this as a guy who who once said it was his favorite food country gravy um uh they they they uh they offered us country gave as a dipping so we got we went with ranch and barbecue sauce did the gravy come in one of those flip packs those those those sauce packs that's a great question i have no idea i didn't see it i'm guessing it came gravy i'm guessing it would come in a little cup

that's what i would yeah because it can't like but not like in that little thing that you peel back that barbecue and ranch i don't i don't think so we didn't we didn't we didn't we didn't get any gravy we got the ranch in the in the um and the uh barbecue sauce right we're both good and the i thought the chicken strips were good how did you guys feel about them uh there was a lot of breading on that chicken but you like that remember you said you like i i it was a tasty breading uh but they very much committed to the breading right it was like a big choice yeah sounds like your curds man yeah i was well i'd say i think the the curds not too breaded just some of the individual pieces were just like the ratio but you prefer it to mott sticks because

mott sticks have more bread monster that's a monster more breading yeah yeah yeah this was definitely on that side of things it was good and the chicken was i don't know it was good it wasn't like the best chicken in my life but it was it was good i ate more than i expected it was decent and then we each got we each got it we each got a combo i myself i got the flamethrower grill burger nick the same burger you did same same same and nick we are a tyler dirton adnurt we were just talking about how we always want to order the same thing we got the same burger the jesse said that he he was this was one of the most popular sam burgers on the on the right yeah so he can and the most deadly he said he did say he did say the most deadly what did he say eat it

with the utmost caution my boy yeah he sat me on his lap and he told me that he had a really funny line about one of the cool treats we got to remember oh yes yeah oh yeah this guy rules thing and i got that i got that flamethrower grill burger nick did you get the double did you get two patties yeah i got it i get the double all right so we got the same thing you know it sounds like doug's dream so i was like doug buddy's my wettest dream two patties two patties so he's he wants two of patty patty mayonaise the girl he likes yeah he wants a delt he wants two of them he wants two two two two of them two two two two two two patties uh nick you you're talking about man if i could

clone my wife and have two wives i could clone kathy ireland and get two melted thighs oh i heard it's so burnt you see part of the bow man i wish i could go on man i wish i could clone my mom yeah i love my mom so much i want two moms two moms twice the milk oh no i cloned my mom but her tits didn't come with that was like a mistake in the cloning yeah if there's not twice the milk what are we even doing here so you got the flame whatever there was there was spicy i like that spicy sauce all right it

wasn't it wasn't it wasn't super it's just not very spicy but it was okay so i thought i thought i thought i thought it adds on to a decent flavor you know i there was no onions on my but one of one of the one of our entrance didn't want their onions but i didn't put them on my burger i thought the thing that tasted the cheapest of it were i what you're right here i know i'm sorry you could have had them i know i know i fucked up did now you really fucked up i thought the cheapest thing of on the burger was the lettuce i thought that i thought that that tasted kind of like the cheapest quality to me it's like it's like iceberg lettuce it's like the you know it's it's and in the picture it looks like nicer lettuce but but but but it but but what's that

picture it's a bit it's a picture of the burger it's from the men it's from the online that's mitch's lock screen jesus christ it says incoming call from that burger answer it he's always calling uh what do you say mayo squirt yeah would you answer it mayo squirt your mouth wide open i can't close it why wouldn't i just close my mouth yeah i could move my face away why am i not thanks for taking the call anyways i i liked that burger i like i like i like the french i like the french fries i

had a good price i thought they were good fries you know what they could have been salted and there were no salt shakers on the table which which which would have been helpful you guys each got with my combo i also got a mountain do and you guys what did you guys get for burgers i the mountain do was nice you guys got there was a bacon cheese grill burger one of you guys got the bacon burger i got the bacon cheese and pa and pa you got the cheese grill burger no bacon yeah quarter pounder yeah the quarter pounder yeah i think why why are you describe that very well that the burger like if you just isolated the patty of it like if you just had that busted up over like on a salad that would be it would be kind of nasty yeah it's not great

me but when you bit into it all the elements of that burger worked together in perfect harmony right and like it was just kind of kind of had the the elasticity of like a hawaiian king roll almost like the bun was kind of that fast food i don't know that scratched a niche too the bun was like the right kind of squishiness yeah that's squeezable sponge dill yeah sponge dill as yours is quarter pound hundred percent beef burger top with melted cheese thick cut apple would smoke bacon thick cut tomato crisp chopped lettuce pickles onions ketchup and mayo served on a warm toasted bun yeah which went into a fugue state and recited that from memory yeah he's spinning around on the ground and his eyelids his eyes turned milky white

pa yours is one quarter pound of patty a hundred percent beef burger topped with melted cheese thick cut tomato crisp chopped lettuce pickles onions ketchup and mayo served on a warm toast bun so pretty much the same thing no bacon now here's here so you could have had those onions my man i know why didn't you take them i just don't like i don't like raw onions yeah grilled onions i'm all about it but that was just like a raw i know you do and it's great sometimes and i'll do i'll do i'll do arm and style it in and out once in a while like i'll mix it with grilled onions but just raw onion makes me go oh stinky poo poo in my mouth but i you could have had those i just took that off and i think it is always a misstep to serve lettuce like that i don't know why i don't

know what they're thinking with that lettuce like shredding the lettuce on a sandwich makes where what are we doing with that right maybe don't even just have to put lettuce on there just i like it for the texture but yeah sometimes with those if you just put it on you just you just take a hot a hot patty right off the grill and then put the lettuce right on top of it it just looks like i will why are they shredding the like yeah i think that's not a lot of like why are you saying it was like then that's the that is the worst part did mitch did you just say that that the last was i thought the lettuce was the cheapest tasting of the product isn't that like a big part of it if it had just been the leafs of lettuce wouldn't that have just been

i mean even if the lettuce was exactly the same i feel like it would have seemed nicer yeah even a whole leaf of of of straight iceberg would be because it's falling off of the side and it's just kind of feels like it's not meant to be on your sandwich it feels like they took salad lettuce and put it on your i agree with that i let me quickly run down the the uh the flamethrower burger hundred percent a half pound hundred percent beef burger topped with dq which i i described you said all of that stuff melted pepper jacks you all right fine you can do it again go for it holla pineal bacon thick cut tomato and crisp no i don't even want to but if you said it then somebody could take when nick said it and sink it up

together when you when you got sad about it your fugue state eyes kept going in and out of like you kept going in and going like i'll say it and then you were like uh fuck it and then you kind of come your eyes would come back no i don't want to do it anymore no come on man no everyone outside is screaming for it there's a crowd out there man you got to do it for them all right fine a hundred percent wait half pound hundred percent beef burger topped with dq fiery flamethrower sauce melted pepper jack cheese holla pineal bacon fuck i knew it i fucking knew it wait holla pineal bacon thick cut tomato and crisp chopped lettuce shut up why did you say that all yeah i mean you were told you to do that what do you think there's like a crowd

outside your house man the worst like gas line in the world wait wait we were when you were saying earlier about the bacon that was there's something because you were like oh the bacon was just kind of normal what was it just that it said apple would smoke or they were like oh i expected something a little spicy there's jalapeno bacon i agree with you i go 100 and i don't know what i don't know how it's jalapeno at all and maybe just some artificial flavoring got it and i have so my bacon was just just the apple would smoke smoke bacon you got that normal bacon yeah which was good they did a good job on the bacon that was probably the best i don't know if that whole sandwich made sense i didn't expect to finish it i did the fries i

don't know i guess i yeah i don't know well there's one last hot treat we got nick and it was the worst of the bunch we got ourselves a chili cheese dog no one does hot dogs better than your local dq restaurant order for them plain or for the ultimate taste sensation try out our fabulous chili cheese dog we got the chili so much that was just marketing copy that you probably didn't need to read verbatim i didn't i thought that it was going to give a breakdown okay great wait wait a minute this check on the table from denis quint dq hold on wait denis the menace scientist check denis legal menace quint oh phil harman also did the voice of um mr wilson and denis the menace's dad on the denis the menace oh man that's great and oh the other

memory of the um when you guys said the denis menace cups the menace cups it would be remiss if we didn't say uh about the little plastic the baseball hats right now we're gonna say oh yes they got sundays and that's something that i thought dary queen had cornered the market in getting like a soft serve a sunday in a in a baseball hat a little plastic baseball if you like the royals you get to pick the royals those that those they had those are the baskin robins too for a time i got to ruin it kind of california angels one from there well this must have been a regionally because all of ours were cubbies and royals and twins yep um the chili cheese dog the dog itself tasted the the dog itself tasted great yes but the chili the

chill the the hot dog itself when i when i when i got it away from the chili you got it away when i got away from the chili and the cheese this it looked like shit was the issue i was going to say was a chili turd dog it really looked like a chili turd dog you should have philharmon also drew the cover for the for for the america album right one of the america's albums anyways i'm sorry that popped into my head the chili cheese dog it the chili i did the same thing so it looks it looks shitty and it tasted not good and the hot dog itself tastes good in then also i was sick later that night and i'm pretty sure it was from that bad chili it would have been a less could have very well but you're more you're more likely to get the lettuce from

underwashed produce than from uh undercooked i know i know you say that this chili cheese dog looked like i mean it was like a sub seven eleven because seven eleven hot dogs actually are are good it reminded me of an ampm hot dog ampm has kind of shitty hot dogs it's just was like it's not like a super high quality one it's a meat hot dog the taste of it was fine yeah you're showing me a picture i actually natalie ordered herself a chili cheese dog so i got a bite of a chili cheese dog as well okay i mine was mine was and maybe you just guys guys just got a bad one mine was okay it was fine and not a great i thought the hot dog itself tastes good the chili cheese dog not the chili was a little a little too tomatoey for my taste um but sorry where we're going

cassidy i mean i was just gonna say that um that's a place that should do hot dogs well i right yeah and a lot of places i would go and like order a hot dog at i don't even know other places that have them but if like sonic had a hot dog i would not expect that hot dog to be good just i went there looking forward to a hot dog yeah i was driving down there being like i'm gonna get a hot dog and then when i saw it it's just a chili dog i'm like do i ask to not to get one without the chili and cheese and maybe i should have i think give that give that a maybe you should have give that hot dog some more time on the flat top you know it it seems just like a steamed dog maybe they grilled it but it didn't have a lot of grilled character to it and i think that

would help it the ends were kind of that wilted the kind of gross hot dog skin right a badly cooked it was just if it was gross and i agree that the hot dog itself tasted fine i don't know if i would agree that it tasted great but it was like the chili messed it up for sure anyway um nice amount of cheese on there though we now we now we yeah there was a lot actually that it's good there was a lot of cheese on there but the chili was just bad yeah it was bad chili um we can get we can get to our bar the chili oh the sultan is so we got two blizzards we got the uh nally got herself a a medium strawberry banana blizzard and um you know which was good it's it's it's a good blizzard it's a good solid blizzard i'm more

of like i usually tend towards chocolate over fruit for the for frozen treats but i thought that was a very good execution of it um and uh and you know a lot of ample banana in there good strawberry ice cream very nice uh the one i got was a limited time offering the orio a hot cocoa blizzard wow we were really close nick which i got a mini of uh and i like that they offer the mini size because like that much that like a medium sized one would knock me out for the day it's so much dairy but a mini mini i can endure it's just like a little bit a little bit of a sweet treat um or your cookie pieces cocoa fudge uh with a soft vanilla soft serve and a whip topping it really did taste like hot cocoa they did a good job of replicating that

it wouldn't want to natalia what was the other one i had strawberry and banana and yeah yeah yeah yeah the um the it really had that sort of hot cocoa a character and that actually played really well with the orio pieces now they pointed out that that orio works well when you add more chocolate to it which i think is a have fair observation anytime you run into extra chocolate plus orio it seems to be i just know i didn't want a cocoa taste i was close to getting that one but i didn't want a cocoa it worked for me but i understand that is a very specific thing what did you guys get we we got paul and i both got large blizzards um large and in charge large and in charge and i got myself nick the other limited time option option the rhesus

outrageous blizzard treat which had rhesus peanut butter cups rhesus pieces peanut butter and caramel topping blended with creamy world famous dq vanilla soft serve i mean i should we say yeah what is right there to say that did that jesse the this gentleman who was serving us mm he he ran down that list of ingredients you said what is in the uh rhesus outrageous yes and then he listed off all of them yeah and then he said that's what makes it outrageous fuck that rules that's cool that's he was good he was like that's what makes it outrageous yeah that's awesome he didn't have kind of like a stoner wisdom yeah quality really nice extremely nice guy follow him anywhere if if you if he had said to me you know those two friends of yours

murder them and follow me i would have done it still good maybe i would well please jesse don't tell paul to do that oh please jesse this is coming from Elvis Presley don't kill those deadly him to kill those two boys jesse oh my god did you guys see that oh oh oh Elvis Presley oh oh now i have to wink leave the building it's interesting that Elvis appeared in our presence to tell jesse to tell you you not to murder your friends i know why that was that was a little bit circuitous but well i mean Elvis has never been like a direct right i mean my question my question about Elvis's appearance is what did Elvis have to do with anything yeah it did seem

sort of arbitrary do you want to know when you said that i thought you sounded like Elvis okay so i started you know what i've been if people rewind and re-listen to that part they'll go you know what he did sound a little like and it was apt for paul to i think people will be carrying you around on their fucking shoulders after they hear this look in this in this apartment you're more likely to talk elvish than elvish lord of the rings fan nick yeah uh guys there should be like an elvish presley impersonator that's like a like a lord of the rings elvis we did a clean up at the con so i put that out on my my character reel elvish presley is that the only thing on it so far yes and yeah you definitely should elvish presley matt bestard did a a sketch comedy

show for comedy central called this show will get you high that uh uh i worked in that show yeah and um do you remember brett goman had a character that was um james gandalf feeney oh yes right yes and it was this project was uh um i shall not pass i shall not pass you shall not pass that is on the way down to derrick we thought of uh uh uh you was this your midst i feel like we thought of this yesterday didn't we star shrek oh yeah star shrek that star shrek should also be across over so this is like star trek but with shrek and paul said be me up donkey that's really good and then i and then i said i just i pointed out to him that scottie is scottish and shrek is scottish uh so it's weird to make donkey the one who's who's american so but to be the scottish man

but donkey sounds more like scottie yeah that's true that's a good connection i i know i agree with that yeah i mean this is really funny it's really funny it's very funny everyone's laughing about it star shrek does make me laugh deep swamp nine i remember we said star shrek the next and duration to both leave go and push and boots is warps sorry push and boots as warf fiona is uhura i assume oh that's good oh wait no but that then we're mixing universes live long and ogre yes that was that was good live long and ogre what what did you guys get for cool treats

these shades yeah i got this leather jacket i got a blizzard yeah i got a rhesus peanut butter cup blizzard i got a i got an m&m's blizzard this time usually i get rhesus i got a medium i got a medium that looks good it's so good i the m&m's one i agree that that mini blizzard is like one of the best improvements on dq since i frequently said that at the time yeah exactly he echoed your very words it is so perfect because i don't like getting like the liquidy part of like the drinking the rest of the blizzard through a straw i don't like i like it in ice cream form and that i can't eat it fast enough usually and but that mini is perfect i can't you can't and you can also like i drove to texas a couple

times this year and i ate a lot of dairy queens because they were just around and they were all kind of the grill and chills one it was it was kind of great that like that's the thing that's in every gas station there is dq right fucking great yeah but so i would get i ended up getting like multiple mini blizzards daily so i ended up getting like a medium or large blizzard every day but i got it in that installment it was perfect that blizzard is something special that it's so good yes it's a master work and poly poly you got the recent peanut butter cub and then yeah an old favorite yeah yeah and and and you got you got one for dana as well right uh-huh i took one home from my lady true how did that travel what did you do it pretty good i mean it took us

well we probably took us an hour to get back yeah so it was in the freezer again before we put it in the freezer too sweet that means quick mitch did you take the yeti bag or the rachel ray bag i didn't oh man that would have helped uh it we're it wasn't bad she she she loved it nonetheless i'm sure texture wise it was not as good if she's ever created you know there are their treat centers nearby there's one in burbank so i know she was the baffled that we drove to garden grove i was like babe we gotta get the flame burgers what else did like did you tell her about star strike i should have told her about star strike hold on let me call her right now i think she's putting our kids to bed let me interrupt just scream star strike and hang up babe leave the

kids um the uh yeah i think i undersold the the blizzard a little bit in my assessment of it because i was just sort of talking about these specific flavors the blizzard is fucking great it's a home run it's just a top tier i was going to save this for my wrap up but paul pointed out that the blizzard was created within our lifetimes 1985 yeah i couldn't believe that when i saw that on that poster up there i said created in 1985 yeah i'm like it's it was in legacy mode by 1989 yep and that and that and you said you said this thing of that's like if the big mac was created in your lifetime which we didn't experience right the cheese according to crunch we did experience but how amazing would that have been to be alive when the big mac was created

just to know what did it get created who got the pleasure what generation was it the 60s that sounds right hey man let's go down before trying to stop uh these veterans from getting back into america let's go get a burger before we spit in the face of some vietnam vets man hey we better go get a burger before disco gets big man did you hear jfk got shot where what date tell us what day 11 22 63 man i gotta remember that for when i see a beard be doorway later i gotta remember that when i see a be doorway later let's get to our final thoughts on dairy queen i didn't add anything so yeah so will it leech go around love dairy queen keep it things fresh here keep it things off the wall you never know what's gonna happen next

a bang bang boom guys bang bang boom kind of pick up the gravy we'll go around we'll give our assessment and uh we'll each review we'll each review this all right you got me ass estimates yeah give it up boy i look like a real ass estimate after saying that okay i don't know you do smash hold them down so we can spank them all night look like a gentleman um we'll each uh we'll each give our our closing argument yes go for it if you want to do it as star shrack you can you have the option there you're doing the review we're not obligating anyone to do it as star shracks but if you want to that option is available i'm not going i'm not going to either but i am i'm glad that i could do it and that option will be available to all your subsequent

guests that's correct yeah that's a new doe boys rule just hang that up if you're on doe boys you can do star shrack but only for the review yeah and everyone looks at you very confused we can do star shrack uh so so yeah we could give a closing argument and then uh give it a score from zero to five forks uh paul let's start with you zero to five four yes or spoons if you want to since where we got we got a plastic red spoon a plastic red spoon or a combo maybe you can do combo you can do that if you like what's hot eats and cool sure five five combos by assessment would be you you're also you chose not to do star shrack okay oh oh sorry sorry no no no no you can choose not to my assessment as princess fiona would be

the hot eats fit for a queen the cool treats yes now i do declare with my yellow pigtails oh princess fiona screamed and had an orgasm at the other yeah one of her yellow pigtails must have yeah fallen off yeah her yellow pigtails are and pleasure her in the process sometimes when a big chunk of hair falls out you can't help but come doesn't matter what happens well in a big chunk of my hair falls

under my genitals crazy i'll say this um her hair her yellow pigtails must have fallen off to reveal her red oh you're so oh my god i am not gonna let this i'm not gonna live this down it's fine it's okay no it's it's okay i mean it dream works is gonna have your ass well for forks for forks uh michael cassidy or forks for forks for forks you know what this place is like one of the places i've eaten the most over the course of my life i think but not lately like i when i go home i eat dairy queen but i haven't eaten it regularly like the other chains i've been able to keep up with out here and going back to it you know a kind of a little bit of magic was kind of like chipped away for sure i think because it was also um

i think i associated with good times which i still did i had a great time to show okay with the show good times yeah as jack said you're always gonna have fond memories of the time you weren't paying bills that's what jack said in today's episode that came out jack allison yeah i thought it was yeah that is a serious but i did think when i was 15 i'd rather be now than 15 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah even if i didn't have to pay bills i'd rather be now than 15 yeah 15 was tough that was a tough one 15 it's confusing i mean i i guess if we could switch bodies with 15 year olds we'd all do it that's not disagree with jack i just i mean it's like a it's a different um i know i like i think you're right yeah i'd rather be yes absolutely yeah i think i'd feel

like i was everything was yeah nothing before 30 for me is like something i'm like oh that was good also i think about it now if somebody like came into my room at 6 30 i was like hey you got to go and spend the next nine hours in a building in different rooms not talking and having somebody talk at you right i'd be like that's that's wizard no that's anti-wizard that's bad yeah anti-wizard it's anti-wizard yeah you would be using the term wizard which all 15 year olds use now at that time period at that time in the late 90s everybody was calling cool things wizard we're all saying wizard yeah we were saying this was this was pretty gandalf so we had a different like idea of wizard it was like the wiz like wizard we're right or um wizzo from the bozo show

did you remember wizzo yeah well he's cool we're really cool just from the round table do you remember cookie bozo's friend cookie tim cookie uh okay so do you remember cookie though no oh cookie from bozo he was bozo's friend and then cookie quits showing up on the show and i remember this guy in fourth grade told me the reason cookie wasn't on the bozo show anymore was because he got pregnant was that was that kid right so so some of the magic was gone oh yeah so some of the magic was gone i gotta say well i'm glad that we did kind of a cross section of the food i would say the burger and the chicken uh was better than the average fast food experience that was better than what i get that i like that better than like jack in the box i liked it better than was that a bird

brock brock i like what i hear brock brock who's saying oh boy i really emphasize the middle name oh it's his middle name that's it's his name i'm just saying it you're making a point no brock brock who's saying brock think about those words names mean things the chicken is also happy that the dead chicken taste good is basically all right so i'm just doing clucky so look okay i would just say if it was based on those things alone i would give this a three fork rating just based on those wow that chili cheese dog though there's no ignoring that cheese dog no there is it was this will put x's over sonic's eyes nick yeah it looked fucking awful either the restaurant it looked i thought so too yeah the it was it was it did tasting it didn't make it look better it made it

worse because then you were like yeah it smelled awful the whole thing was terrible and that i'm just going to take a time off for that that's too a daily so that's two forks and three times and but then i got i think that the blizzard is worth a whole fork wow so i think that we do i think that i got to give this three forks three times three forks three times very well i love that go ahead mitch i think that the blizzard is like dairy queen's big mac it's great and i love it and i and i would go i would dry i mean i'm not going to go and get ice cream and i don't normally do that but uh but i why you why your eyes darting around but um i also want to say day matthews gets five ear drums for me for being a very list of any drums maybe five ear drums

could even just be like five drums and it would have made more five micro five and okay i know you know five years five and mitch i love it yeah and you're wrong but i appreciate your sentiment um and that and that was the only downside to the trip was to see the band torn apart like that um by you too you did it to yourself um you know what mitch i gotta say i feel you know what i or our reactions to your shows thing it's so funny because it's like i feel like with anything you say people's reactions you would have probably say yeah guys i know duh that's why i said it like with a lot of stuff people be like oh bitch i can't believe he's like yeah i said five ear drums because it's fucking funny anyway

my inner monologue she's angry at everyone i make you that yes um i like dary queen to it had there's a lot of nostalgia attached to it i thought that the i think that the food is a certain type of food that you can that you can only get at those type of places like a like a friendlies on the east coast or or dary queen and i like it it's not the best sure but it was but it was well done the the service was really great there was an orange julius there that's which i really want to try an orange julius and i didn't get it yeah they they merged at some because i didn't feel like it was i didn't feel like it was fair but uh it was it was it was it was a nice i had i had a really nice time on the our trip down to a garden grove it was

a it was some laughs yeah we had a fun we had a fun we had a fun time and and i feel like when we were in there was you saw like a group of young kids coming get blizzards yeah there was a there was an older man and his daughter or wife could be both could be possibly both garden grove man but there was a lot there was a there was a lot of different there was a lot of different people coming in there enjoying dary queen i think it's an institution i think that it needs to maybe update and come into the 21st century but um but uh i'm gonna go for forks because i think that uh i i think it's just a nice experience in those in the blizzards alone and that's what you're going for those that's the that is the money maker and those are great for forks

is a very good score and i think i'm largely with you guys i remember the hot food being better i remember like really loving those bacon cheese burgers but i think that was just like me remembering it as a child and i think that this is i think the quality has probably been about uh stagnant it's probably been about the same and then this is just me with a an adult's palate being sort of like okay this is like fine this is like a good execution of it not mind-blowing um but the hot the hot eats are good enough like they're good like you can go there and you can have a satisfying fast food meal that's indulgent and feels like you're eating at a jack-in-the-box or a carl's junior hardies it feels like you're eating at one of those um you know slightly for me slightly more

slightly not better quality of product but like slightly better menus slightly better executions of the of those versions of that of those those those classic sort of roadside eats for me really really compared it pretty directly to our visit to fosters freeze we did it last year and um maybe earlier this year whatever we went to fosters freeze and fosters freeze you know i've viewed very favorably because it you know executes the hot eats part very well uh the cool treats part it does very well um and here you know obviously the blizzard is a is a fucking it's so so good i called it a home run earlier i stand by that uh it's excellent um and uh you know i guess i i'm going to uh i'll go into the character of uh lord star quad uh for this uh curse that impestuous

star shrek but bless the wonderful dairy queen lillian from shrek two four forks wow wow wow one time away from the golden plate way to go cassidy i'm surprised that i i'm surprised i was the one that would cost it that i love dairy queen but a very very uh very very well regarded here um dairy queen worth a visit if you haven't been in a while uh it's time for regular segment i've got a mystery drink and mitch and our guests must figure it out it's another edition of the weigher challenge so gentlemen you have a blue uh solo cup in front of you and uh it is filled with a liquid feel free to describe what you are seeing smelling and tasting and then we were smells like shit it smells like corn or something is not like a vegetable or

something god it smells like corn you're serious yeah it smells like when you open up like a can of corn and it's yellow like corn it smells like canned corn i think it might be juice from a canned corn just joking the uh it's it's it's carbonated yeah there is there's lots of bubblies in there it smells like it smells a hundred percent like corn it really smells and that's c it is yellow and not the band that's what i was gonna that's what i was gonna ask is it a k and a backwards r because that's a different smell it doesn't smell like the banned corn okay i what does the band does the band corn smell like that uh i think it might be urban leban jen that um carol channing once looked at the poster for osvestre and said corn i don't remember seeing corn i've heard that

and it's apparently i've heard it's it's true is that true yeah it's real you talk to the guy who is there i talk yeah i talk to a guy well my my uncle knows a guy who is there oh sure so yeah that is i have i have a guess on what this is i took a little zip creamed corn soda mitch is guessing creamed corn soda oh i didn't sip it yet did you i'll sip it i don't know if creamed is right i think god this reeks it smells like corn and i'm from oh we're from island so they're giving us corn i get it this is not good oh it tastes like somebody's bathroom somebody's bathrobe room yeah it really does have a and there's like a kind of a film like kind of i feel like you guys awful i feel like i need to taste mitch's bathroom to compare

well just give a lick of your mirror i guess we'll be right back we're gonna go like this mirror creamed corn soda or is it like golden corn oh i'm gonna go corn soda it's so nasty it's really bad have you had a sip i haven't had a sip but i mean i'm i'm not part of the talking about though like there's something on my lips and teeth after it yeah i hate that i have experienced this thank you guys for being good sports and endurance sorry we we're not we don't mean to be a little i'm i hate it i'm having a joyful times you don't mean to be sassy sammy it's i mean it's okay so we got a guess yeah okay let's just guess cream i mean i know we have to guess i i bet can we guess now sorry yes a glass of iowa governor terry brandstead's

p terry brandstead's p okay it's an interesting guess i i think that's it could be right it could but you know we'll know in a second when we reveal the answer uh paul your guess yeah i'm gonna guess something like uh what is it trying to do i'm trying to think of like what man i don't know farm juice it's called farm juice should i give a try a real farm juice i do think that mitch is probably it is the cream soda does seem like what it's i'm trying to aiming to be like it's like a it doesn't make me think of like root beer with corn in it okay so corn root beer corn root beer um yeah corn root i am going to say i'm going to make executive ruling that mitch has won the weiger challenge yes yes yeah it's not cream corn soda it is sweet

corn soda i knew it was sweet corn soda yeah and this is a this is a uh that's very close luster fixings this is a gimmick soda that they sell at these novelty soda stores yeah this sucks shit but i appreciate the thought i do too i did it i got it for our corn boys yeah and also drink for our corn guys oh yeah oh that's right our sketch corn which is the sketch we do this month ah the sketch that's just for the people on stage yep but if there's a lot of people on stage i'd argue that's the best comedy it's still for 20 people honestly weiger you've deleted that from your mind i mean this is a hundred percent corns this would be a beat in corn's giving right corn's giving just a recap for anyone who doesn't it wasn't aware this was a a joint sketch between

mitch's sketch group uh the birthday boys and our sketch group a kiss from daddy the three of us plus a a bunch of other great people and we would do it everything's giving and it is a a thanksgiving party where everyone friends giving if you will where everyone has brought corn individually and so it's a potluck that and everybody was supposed to read different things they all brought corn they all brought corn so it's got like 20 beats uh it's and it's a sloppy big thing that ends up with like big garbage bags of corning dumped onto the stage yeah it's it's the length is interminable hey if you're in southern california five years ago you should check that out check that out in the past sometime it will never happen again we'll do it again

nick nick nick won't ever do it again but maybe the rest of us i found for corn's giving yeah we're tired i'm i'm i'm retired from improv not from sketch oh available wagers available for sketching welcome for your mod shows everybody hey that was a wiger challenge just like a restaurant of value feedback let's open up the feedback let's let's listen to this week's voicemail from the audio feedback hey guys big fan of the show i'm calling in reference to the cracker barrel episode there's actually an article i read about a couple who drove around the united states going to every single cracker barrel my question is if you were forced to what restaurant would you drive around the country

trying every single location that's nice that's a good question great question i've you know way when you the cast you know you've been doing some of them cross country drives and i knew you'd hit up some dairy queens as as you said though but but is dairy queen your choices or something else you would go to if you were gonna do it again god if you were trying to hit every one that's a different question though because there's too many maybe of those right that's impossible it's there's there's seven thousand locations it's almost like you do want to do kind of like uh i mean maybe this isn't a direct answer to the question but you do want to do more of like a hillstone or oh my god that's what i was gonna say yeah a hillstone tour that's cool

that i didn't mean to steal yours no no it doesn't even need to be that one in particular but like or a more of a sit-down place i could even see like you remember bonanza did you have bonanza yeah out here that was like a buffet place it was like a like an old country or something yeah yeah um i don't know maybe something like that i would want to go i would want to choose a place that has like 12 locations though so i could actually do it that's good i like that's my answer and then you could murder somebody in each town you go to and become like that's right and i could a god i could take a piece of each of the bodies and sew them together right and then reanimate that become a god and then yeah and then i'd create life and become god himself what

what is the exact question again because i i was zoning out still looking at corn sauce what you were i didn't pay attention i was i was too concerned with everything he was asking he was saying the the the caller was talking about how there was a couple that went to every cracker baler or they set out to go to every cracker baler in what restaurant would you try to would you want to go to would you ever yeah chain whatever i will i will say that i and as you mentioned i will say hillstone is my pick because there's enough variance between individual locations some of them are in really cool location some of them are really cool spots like there's one one in santa barbara that looks like it would be you know really idyllic i'm you know it'd be

interesting to see how the ones in texas compare with the ones in new york city and there are not too many they're not so many that it's an impossible feat even though it would be an expensive expensive cross country trip you know what would be a good one that would be a good one that would be a manageable one i mean i know that's more than 12 that'd be like 100 still maybe i don't know but i'll do that i'll say that because hillstone is that's more of a wide variance we met a we met a listener no you didn't step on anything we met a listener after our one of our live shows at sketch fest who had gone to uh at a j reddick on instagram he he's going to every i'm following me he goes to every in an hour and it's amazing takes all these different pictures yeah it's

quite those are both good cracker barrels really good to i don't know i i don't know if i would ever unless it was like one that like kind of changed like a carl's but i wouldn't want to go to that to ever in every place like a carl's junior to a hardy every every pizzeria regina every every pizzeria regina for sure what if you just went every carl's junior where a murder has occurred i i think that is would also be a i bet that if you had a service that was like a tour thing like that it'd be like a disaster tourist that would go do that people i think i think that would be a huge hit i i i i i don't know about i don't know if i any because i always try to try a low when i'm in a new place i always try to try the local right local here so this runs counter

to the world you and how you view it a hundred percent so i i think i think if anything i would just guys a shithead i think there's a true shithead if anything i would choose wendy's or obel my two favorites just because why not yeah paul any any thoughts uh you know i think it'd be fun to go to different um claim jumpers um oh that's a fun one it's a fun theme restaurant i don't think there's probably a lot that i have to like burn through i mean there's probably a handful yeah you can you can you go to others the thing i would say is that it's kind of like a dying chain like it's like a receding a little bit so it might be kind of a sad tour like some of those some of those locations might be in bad shape oh like uh or our friend eva she goes to like

Chernobyl and stuff and we'll visit like old zoos that have been vacated yeah that's sort of what it would be like i guess yeah i'd be down for that i have a one-year-old daughter she would enjoy that being taken and then she'll and then at the end she was like daddy why did we do that and i go why do you think and she was like to show the effects of cap amandalism am i close yeah keep practicing you idiot uh the ravaging effects of cap amalism it's funny because i have cap amalism i haven't i i have she's pretty close i know i know you're down for a one-year-old go back to school go back to school i haven't heard i haven't heard her say a thing yet is what is my big uh hold up uh oh she usually talks after you

what's that what was that smell yeah i think he ate my food daddy did the monster leave so a baby who regularly who regularly shits its diapers yeah he's complaining about my smell yeah daddy does he i smelled his poopy diaper too is he my direct mirror what is he the exact same as me he shits his pants and cries he's like me in almost every way well i have to say that hey uh out there let us know which restaurant you would want to hit all of uh hashtag every eatery uh chime in on social media and hey if you have a question or comment about the world of chain

restaurants gmail us at dobe's podcast at gmail.com or leave us a voicemail at 830 go do that's 830 463 6844 and to get the no boys double our weekly bonus episode join the golden or platinum plate club at patreon.com slash do boys our thanks to don't stop or we'll die i'll let us know when that album is out one more time on tuesday november 27th available everywhere and you can buy it on a pre-sale yeah you can do pre-sale currently yeah right now right now right now you can do it it'll be actually i think this episode will be out just after sweet this episode will be out on uh on november 29th so it's available right now and if you're in southern california there's a live show in los angeles at the satellite an album release show uh that will be playing on december

fourth tuesday december fourth at the satellite with uh cape berlant and the sloppy boys wow what a lineup yeah uh that's cape berlant separate act and the sloppy boys i would love it cape berlant and the sloppy boys yeah it'd be great um also i just want to make sure for your listeners to know when they do do hashtag every eatery that they don't confuse it with hashtag every ea terry which is a hashtag trying to track down all the terries at ea sport yeah that's a different hashtag um yeah you know but it is the same right or t e r i for every ea terry yeah i mean it depends well because they're they're tracking terries they're tracking all spellings of the name terry right so i think they've kind of gone with a catch all t e r r y so it's a little different

okay we're but i think they are they are getting our i terries as well and maybe one our terries along we're a rare variant i hope terry polo gets us because she's been kicking ass at a ea sports last few years i she know she's she learned a program after after the parents franchise ended she was like i'm going back to school there ought to be a computer programmer she's got that she's handling the a i and madden she's doing a great job so uh nice to go terry way to go terry terry also i want to i want to say i want to say check out the out just check check out the check out their new album i was i wanted to tell this i want to tell the story but now i feel i know we'll just end it no go ahead terry all right so yeah let's give our listeners blue balls

say say i want to tell the story but let's just it's a sad story the story the anic the story i was going to tell on your guys yes yes and your guys last on there's a song called once in a while and when harris passed away they played that at his funeral and it was a very sweet moment and we were crying and they were playing it in the the synagogue where that's the jewish church um yeah thanks mitch thank you for clarifying thank god and cassidy leaned over to me and while we were crying he said that the chorus if you listen closely in a song it says richard donner's balls over and over again and so this then we started laughing it was this beautiful moment of laughing and crying but this in the synagogue people didn't

catch it when it was saying richard donner's balls over and over again yeah that's awesome and um people got two treats there they got that story it's very funny and then also it's it's a little mic and i have never told anybody that so if you go and listen no should i do that no no it's not a secret nobody honestly it's been long enough that it needs to be said it needs to be said now so yeah go and listen to once in a while and you'll hear the chorus go wow richard donner's balls and there's that kind of thing all over that album and this album coming up you gotta look you gotta listen real close sometimes we're gonna try to sneak a stinker past yeah something about a different lethal weapon directors genitals yes each time uh and uh tony taxon will be drumming

with us uh on the december fourth show and then dan molad and amine's rukian uh produced the album and they did great work and and played a lot of the instruments and they're all uh they're old friends of harris is also um dan and amine and they're very very talented uh musicians in their own right well we hope you like the record you guys are two of the funniest men uh this uh and uh we love your band is really uh is really great the music is awesome and we thought we'd take a we'd end this episode by playing a little cut from your new album uh take a listen to a little don't stop or we'll die thanks for having us see you bye guys let's rock laughter

we got balloons all over the place and that golden retrievers got ice cream on his face we're gonna party all night until 10 p.m bring your kids it's time we're gonna party all night until 10 p.m good clean fun for a real good time smiles and laughter and laughter and fun plenty of laughs for everyone we got confetti all over this place and oh really janey one potato sack rice we're gonna party all night until 10 p.m bring your kids its family time we're gonna party all night until 10 p.m good clean fun for a real good time party all night until 10 p.m good clean fun for a short spare time we're gonna party all night tell me good clean fun good clean fun good clean fun for a real good time

hey spoon nation and burger brigade catch the dough boys live before the end of 2018 mitch and i will be in san diego november 30th braya december 5th and phoenix on december 13th for tickets and info go to head gum dot com slash live don't make us perform for no one that was a hit gun podcast